No Exit

no exit
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/16209515.
Rating: Not Rated

Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: NCT (Band)
Relationship: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong
Characters: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun, Lee Taeyong
Additional Tags: JaeYong - Freeform, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Random & Short,
Jaehyun is an angel, Short & Sweet, I guess not really sweet, Taeyong is
precious, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting
Language: English
Series: Part 1 of my mind goes blank when i'm with you
Stats: Published: 2018-10-06 Completed: 2018-11-09 Words: 3,480 Chapters:
3/3
no exit
by injunnation
Summary
i love you, i love you, i love you, i love yo---

--
Taeyong locks the door nineteen times.
--
the silence
Everything is ticking.
Yet ironically, there isn’t a clock around him. Taeyong tried hushing it with all his might, but
even with numerous attempt, he can never shush the inevitable loud tick tocks around him.
When you have obsessive compulsive disorder you never really have quiet moments. Every
day is a constant reminder of misalignments. Every moment is an infinite prompt of distorted
colors. Taeyong never knew what serene feels like—every second of his life is spent
thinking. Did he wash his hands? Did he turn the lights off? Did he lock the door? Did he
wash his hands? Did he turn the lights off? Did he lock the door? Did he wash his hands? Did
he turn the lights off? Did he lock the door? Did he wash his hands? Did he turn the lights
off? Did he lock the door? Did he wash his hands? Did he wash his hands? Did he turn the
lights off? Did he lock the door? Did he wash his hands? Did he turn the lights off? Did he
lock the---
When you have obsessive compulsive disorder you never really have quiet moments. In
every time passing, in every motion, you’ll hear constant agonizing voices shouting at you.
You’ll be able to identify and pinpoint every disarrangement because the haunting screaming
beside you commands you to. So, it greatly surprised Taeyong, that when he met Jung
Jaehyun—every whispers, every ticking, every agonizing voices, every colors, everything
just disappeared. The only thing that he can think of is how beautiful would it be to have this
kind of picturesque peaceful moment, and how it will make him giddy to share that moment
with the younger. Everything went quiet. When you have obsessive compulsive disorder you
never really have quiet moments. But Taeyong found his.
---
“Hi, I’m Lee Taeyong. Do you want to go out with me?” Perhaps normal people will find it
creepy, having a stranger standing right in front of you suddenly asking you for a date. A
peculiar creepy scene for some. Jaehyun is no exception, but there is something really
adorable in the way Taeyong’s hands are shaking while he was introducing himself that made
the scene a little less awkward.
“Uhh…” Jaehyun started but was briefly interrupted by Taeyong repeating the same exact
words he said earlier. “Hi, I’m Lee Taeyong. Do you want to go out with me?”
"Sure?" Jaehyun answered. He's a little unsure, since it's really strange having a guy stand in
front of him, clumsily asking him out, but it will be rude of him to reject the stuttering
beautiful guy in front of him.
“Hi, I’m Lee Taeyong. Do you want to go out with me?” The said guy asked again.
Jaehyun just smiled.

the shouts
---
thinking. Did he lock the door? Did he close the cabinet? Did he turn off the stove? Did he
bring his pocket sanitizer? Did he use his usual toothpaste? Did he turn off the fan? Did he
lock the door? Did he close the cabinet? Did he turn off the stove? Did he bring his pocket
sanitizer? Did he use his usual toothpaste? Did he turn off the fan? Did he lock the door? Did
he close the cabinet? Did he turn off the stove? Did he bring his pocket sanitizer? Did he use
his usual toothpaste? Did he turn off the fan? Did he lock the door? Did he close the cabinet?
Did he turn off the stove? Did he bring his pocket sanitizer? Did he use his usual toothpaste?
Did he turn off the fan? Did he lock the door? Did he close the cabinet? Did he turn off the
stove? Did he bring his pocket sanitizer? Did he use his usual toothpaste? Did he turn o---
"One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven--" Suddenly there was a tap on his shoulder.
Taeyong composed himself, trying his very best to shush the constant loud voices in his head
telling him to continue counting and thinking about the unlocked door no matter what.
Because that’s what he’s supposed to do--- that’s what those voice always say. Count. Check.
And constantly remind himself about the littlest tiniest details.
“Hey.” Taeyong saw Jaehyun smiling at him. Sweet. But the voice inside his head kept telling
him how Jaehyun’s lips are a bit chapped. It’s too dry. It’s a bit too pale. It’s a bit thin. It’s too
dry. It’s a bit too pale. It’s a bit thin. It’s too dry. It’s a bit too pale. It’s a bit thin. It’s too dry.
It’s a bit too pale. It’s a bit thin. It’s too dry. It’s a bit too pale. It’s a bit th--. "Did you wait
long?" The younger asked, while he was trying to wipe the little sweat beads on his forehead.
One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Taeyong counts the little beads falling.
Today had been a little too hot for Jaehyun, so it surprised him in seeing Taeyong dressed in a
black sweater, a matching black rubber shoes, a black gloves and a black mask. Taeyong
removed his black mask, and folded it with three equal portion before keeping it on his
sweater’s pocket, only to fold it again and keep it on his right pocket this time. Am I
supposed to keep this in my right pocket? Am I supposed to fold this in four equal parts? Am
I supposed to keep this in my right pocket? Am I supposed to fold this in four equal parts?
Am I supposed to keep this in my right pocket? Am I supposed to fold this in four equal
parts? Am I supposed to keep this in my right pocket? Am I supposed to fold this in four
equal parts? Am I supposed to keep this in my right pocket? Am I supposed to fold this in
four equal parts? He turned to face Jaehyun with a nonexistent smile. "You're, seven and a
half seconds late."
"Oh. Am I?" Jaehyun shrugged. "Sorry."
--
thinking. Is the food in this restaurant safe? Is the table free from microscopic bugs? Did the
dishwasher use a lemon dishwashing paste? Are the meat kept in a fridge? Is the floor
mopped? Is the food in this restaurant safe? Is the table free from microscopic bugs? Did the
mopped? Will Jaehyun notice? Should he say something about it? Why is Jaehyun wearing a
pink polo with a navy blue leather wristwatch? Will Jaehyun notice? Should he say
something about it? Why is Jaehyun wearing a pink polo with a navy blue leather
wristwatch? Will Jaehyun notice? Should he say something about it? Why is Jaehyun
wearing a pink polo with a navy blue leather wristwatch? Will Jaehyun notice? Will Jaehyun
notice? Will Jaehyun notice? Will Jaehyun notice? Will Jaehyun notice? Will Jaehyun notice?
Will Jaehyun notice? Will Jaehyun notice? Will Jaehyun notice? Will Jaehyun notice? Will
Jaehyun notice? Will Jaehyun notice? Will Jaehyun notice? Will Jaehyun notice?
Taeyong sighed and decided to tell the younger the obvious. “I have obsessive compulsive
disorder—“
“I’ve noticed.” Jaehyun said while he was pointing at Taeyong’s meal. Taeyong spent a good
amount of time in organizing his meal by color and size. Meat is at the upper portion.
Vegetables are arranged according to their color. Green. Red. Yellow. Chunks. Strips. Throw
everything else. Green. Red. Yellow. Chunks. Strips. Throw everything else. Green. Red.
Yellow. Chunks. Strips. Throw everything else. Green. Red. Yellow. Chunks. Strips. Throw
everything else. Green. Red. Yellow. Chunks. Strips. Throw everything else. Green. Red.
Yellow. Chunks. Strips. Throw everything else. Green. Red. Yellow. Chunks. Strips. Throw
everything else. Green. Red. Yellow. Chunks. Strips. Throw everything else.
“Don’t cut me off.”
“Sorry.”
Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence.
Silence.
“But may I ask is it severe?” The younger apologized but did not stop his mouth from asking
the older about this certain condition that makes him feel bad about almost continuously
hearing the same thing over and over again. But Lee Taeyong is precious for him. So he
thought, the two of them can get through this together. He just need a bit of information so he
can know what to do in a certain situation without harming the former. Taeyong was a little
taken aback by the statement, if it’s from another person, he would’ve felt a little uneasy and
even offended. Normally, people ask him that because they think having an OCD is a defect,
he’ll never deny that it is indeed a flaw on his part—but having been asked if your condition
is severe is same with being asked if you’re crazy enough to be in an asylum. Like mentally
ill. Which is a little true perhaps. Perhaps, Taeyong is crazy. Taeyong however just nodded.
Tired from hearing the constant voices shouting at him. “Not so much, but yeah it’s a little
severe. Does that make you uncomfortable? You can ditch the date if you want.”
Jaehyun shook his head. Honest. He’s telling the truth. But you never know. He may be
faking it. Look he’s trying to smile. Honest. Honest. He’s telling the truth. But you never
know. He may be faking it. Look he’s trying to smile. Honest. A voice from Taeyong’s mind
said. The younger smiled at Taeyong, and Taeyong knew the exact reason why it is quiet
around Jaehyun, the younger is just perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect.
Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect.
“No. Not at all.”
Taeyong still smiled nervously, a little afraid because even though the constant voices bothers
him—the silence and sereneness kills him too. It’s just that, he’s not used to this. He was
about to touch Jaehyun’s hand but he saw that the younger’s hand is a little greasy so he just
smiled and moved his hands back. Oil. Grease. Dirt. Oil. Grease. Dirt. Wiping in the same
direction with the same paper towel. Clockwise. Clockwise. Clockwise.
--
It was on their ninth date when Taeyong finally clasped their hands together. Touch his hand.
Don’t. Touch his hand. Don’t. Touch his hand. Don’t. Touch his hand. Don’t. Touch his hand.
He thinks the younger’s hand are still greasy but to hell with the germs and everything.
Jaehyun let out a surprised sound before smiling and looking at their intertwined hands.
“Does this bother you?” Taeyong asked trying to let go of the younger’s hand. But Jaehyun
shook his head with that same sweet soft smile of his. “No. But, doesn’t this bother you?”
The younger asked.
Yes. A lot. Yes. A lot. Yes. A lot. Yes. A lot. Yes. A lot. Yes. A lot. Yes. A lot. Yes. A lot. Yes.
A lot. Yes. A lot. “A little.” Taeyong managed to state. “But I’m alright. I’ll be alright.”
Jaehyun caressed Taeyong’s hand. “I brought a sanitizer, do tell me if you want some.”
“I have mine.” He looked at the younger, the silence is back again.
--
the start
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
day is a constant reminder of misalignments, every moment is an infinite prompt of distorted
thinking. Did Jaehyun keep his keys? Did Jaehyun lock the car? Did Jaehyun tell his parents?
Did Jaehyun bring his usual sanitizer? Did Jaehyun keep his keys? Did Jaehyun lock the car?
Did Jaehyun tell his parents? Did Jaehyun bring his usual sanitizer? Did Jaehyun keep his
keys? Did Jaehyun lock the car? Did Jaehyun tell his parents? Did Jaehyun bring his usual
sanitizer? Did Jaehyun keep his keys? Did Jaehyun lock the car? Did Jaehyun tell his
parents? Did Jaehyun bring his usual sanitizer?
"Hey, Taeyong hyung." Jaehyun said when they're done placing groceries on Taeyong's
refrigerator. It took the younger a while to get used to this whole ordeal of being too clean,
too well thought-out and too arranged. He thinks how much of a challenge it is to completely
memorize the dos and donts inside his boyfriend’s seemingly very organized refrigerator. But
as he was reminiscing he laughed a little. It was chaos. Chaos in a way that it shouts at him
too. Leave a dirt here. Remove the eggs from the carton. Don’t defrost yet. Remove the milk
in its designated place. Place an expired rotten tomato around the onions. Leave a dirt here.
Remove the eggs from the carton. Don’t defrost yet. Remove the milk in its designated place.
Place an expired rotten tomato around the onions. Leave a dirt here. Remove the eggs from
the carton. Don’t defrost yet. Remove the milk in its designated place. Place an expired rotten
tomato around the onions. Leave a dirt here. Remove the eggs from the carton. Don’t defrost
yet. Remove the milk in its designated place. Place an expired rotten tomato around the
onions. Leave a dirt here. Remove the eggs from the carton. Don’t defrost yet. Remove the
milk in its designated place. Place an expired rotten tomato around the onions. Leave a dirt
here. Remove the eggs from the carton. Don’t defrost yet. Remove the milk in its designated
place. Place an expired rotten tomato around the oni---. Everything is just so perfect that he
silently prays to mess some things up. Milk cartons should be organized depending on types.
Skim. Non-fat. Almond. Soy. Skim. Non-fat. Almond. Soy. Vegetables are arranged by color.
Green. Red. Orange. Violet. Brown. Green. Red. Orange. Violet. Brown. Water bottles are on
the right. Snacks are placed according to calorie content.
"I'll just go check if I locked the car, I'm feeling a bit paranoid." The younger stated with a
half-smile on his stressed out face. Taeyong nodded. Once. Twice. Thrice. Three, a perfect
number. The number of times Taeyong asked him out before he said yes to a date. He ruffled
Taeyong’s hair only to be greeted by a loud don’t-do-it-again-ever look. After fixing the mess
he made on the latter’s hair, he went out of the apartment.
While walking out of the door, Jaehyun reminisced the first time Taeyong asked him to go to
his apartment. It was awkward. Taeyong asking him nine times. Do you wanna go see my
apartment? Do you wanna go see my apartment? Do you wanna go see my apartment? Do
you wanna go see my apartment? Do you wanna go see my apartment? Do you wanna go see
my apartment? Do you wanna go see my apartment? Do you wanna go see my apartment?
Do you wanna go see my apartment? He actually said yes after the third question but the
older went on and on with his question. Removing his coat and folding it in four equal parts,
just the way Taeyong likes it. Taeyong’s home screams everything but dirt and
misalignments. It was as if, it came straight from a magazine. Just like his boyfriend. The
walls are white. Everything is monochromatic. Black chairs. White plates. Black doormats.
White cushions. Black sofa. White coffee table. “Hey, hyung. Mind if I leave my jacket
here?” Jaehyun pointed at the table where Taeyong’s magazines and old newspapers reside.
“No. Don’t. Leave it in my room or at the sofa. Then come help me prepare dinner.”
“Can I really come to your room?”
“Yes. Want me to repeat myself again?”
Jaehyun nodded. Like a child who just got asked if he wants another batch of chocolate
crinkles and lollipops. “Three times.”
Taeyong smiled. “Leave your coat in my bedroom. Leave your coat in my bedroom.”
--
thinking. You forgot your keys. You forgot to turn the stove off. You left the water running.
You left the door open. You forgot your keys. You forgot to turn the stove off. You left the
water running. You left the door open. You forgot your keys. You forgot to turn the stove off.
You left the water running. You left the door open. You forgot your keys. You forgot to turn
the stove off. You left the water running. You left the door open.
As he was trying to calm himself down he saw a stranger.
The first time Taeyong saw him. He saw the map of the world in Jaehyun's eyes. A world
without darkness. A world where he is safe from the constant unbearable shouts, vulgar
voices and incredulous pain. Wow, a beautiful world planted right in front of him. How
lovely was that?
“Hi, I’m Lee Taeyong. Do you want to go out with me?” It made the voice around him
louder. He’ll reject you. He’s too good for you. What are you doing? You’re creepy. He’ll
reject you. He’s too good for you. What are you doing? You’re creepy. He’ll reject you. He’s
too good for you. What are you doing? You’re creepy. He’ll reject you. He’s too good for
you. What are you doing? You’re creepy.
“Uhh…” The beautiful guy started but was briefly interrupted by Taeyong repeating the same
exact words he said earlier. “Hi, I’m Lee Taeyong. Do you want to go out with me?” He
repeated his attempt, hoping to at least diminish the cries of upcoming rejection he’s hearing.
Muffling the beautiful background music that is playing from the piano store nearby. He’ll
reject you. He’s too good for you. What are you doing? You’re creepy. He’ll reject you. He’s
too good for you. What are you doing? You’re creepy. He’ll reject you. He’s too good for
you. What are you doing? You’re creepy. He’ll reject you. He’s too good for you. What are
you doing? You’re creepy.
"Sure?" The guy answered. Finally.
“Hi, I’m Lee Taeyong. Do you want to go out with me?” He asked again. And when Taeyong
finally turned to look at the eyes of the stranger in front of him. Silence came. How beautiful
was that?
--
thinking. Confront your boyfriend. Don’t share your ugly personality on him. Stop hearing
his worries. Stop creating the voices around him. Confront your boyfriend. Don’t share your
ugly personality on him. Stop hearing his worries. Stop creating the voices around him.
Confront your boyfriend. Don’t share your ugly personality on him. Stop hearing his worries.
Stop creating the voices around him. Confront your boyfriend. Don’t share your ugly
personality on him. Stop hearing his worries. Stop creating the voices around him. Tell him
you love him.
Taeyong suddenly stopped chopping the onions. He put the knife away and sat down on the
cold tile floor. He’s shaking. Tears are about to fall. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
No. No. No. No. No.
The last thought. It did not repeat itself.

Chapter End Notes
i love you all. but I love jaeyong the most. it's weird how i ended this story with a
chapter called the start, but that's a bit of a metaphor hehe lovelots. jaeyong is precious.
support nct 127 rep hehehe
Please drop by the Archive and comment to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!

No Exit

Uploaded by

Document Information

Original Title

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

No Exit

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

no exit

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/16209515.

Rating: Not Rated

i love you, i love you, i love you, i love yo---

Jaehyun just smiled.

"Oh. Am I?" Jaehyun shrugged. "Sorry."

“Don’t cut me off.”

“No. Not at all.”

“I have mine.” He looked at the younger, the silence is back again.

“Can I really come to your room?”

“Yes. Want me to repeat myself again?”

As he was trying to calm himself down he saw a stranger.

The last thought. It did not repeat itself.

You might also like