Start time: 11:06 PM

People believe that they should be able to keep all the money they
earn and should not pay tax to the state.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Crash course podcast notes:

Tax
- Civilized society
- Government services  promote the well-being of society
(government in power)
 Afford services: public safety, national defence, education, protect
the environment, physical and monetary policies  economic
growth (structural elements of society)
- Redistribute wealth in society: from people who have more to people
who have less (income taxes, high/low income earners) (Progressive
tax)
- Government subsidy: food stamps, housing programme
- Luxury tax: additional tax bill on expensive items not considered
essential (jet planes, furs, diamond ring)
- Change people’s behavior: cigarettes, alcohol  reduce consumption
of unhealthy products (Syn tax)
Negative aspects
- Distort market prices  inefficiency
Synonym box
- Earn = gain, obtain
- Subsidy = assistance, financial aid, grant, endowment (school,
hospital)
- Tax = duty, expense, levy, taxation
- State = community, federation, nation
- High = great, huge, immense
- Government = authority, ministry, state
- Effective = competent, efficient, compelling, practical
Outline
Intro – Paraphrase  Disagree
Body 1 Contribute to government fund  afford service, subsidize needs
Body 2 Change people behavior
- Put tax on unhealthy products: liquor
- High price
- Reduce consumption – burden on low-income drinker
Conclusion

It is commonly thought that all the money that a person gains is better to be
kept to themselves and that taxation is unneccessary. In my opinion, I
completely disagree with this statement, as taxes plays a vital role in
stabilizing the economy and protecting citizen’s health.
Taxes must be paid to the nation because, without this expense, the
government will not be able to have funds to cover social services and
afford subsidization. These include payments to ensure public safety, to
protect the environment, to launch housing programmes for those in need,
or to make hospital endowments. For example, if the farmers are having
problems with their harvest due to external factors that detrimentally affect
their crops, the government will can immediately send food subsidies for
price support. As a result, this does not only supports the farmers
financially, but also stabilizes market prices, thus promoting long -term
economic stability.
Another reason taxes isare pivotal is that the implementation of taxes on
unhealthy products can significantly change people’s behaviours. Lots of
governments have put heavy taxes on drugs, alcohols and liquors with the
aim of reducing this consumption. This is true because when products like
beers and wines are put at a very high price, not everyone is willing or able
to buy or afford them. For example, Finland has a relatively great number
of beers consumers, and since the Finnish authorityies has put on high tax
to beers, this policy has proven to be remarkably effective. since it It has
put a huge burden on low-income drinkers and decreased the number of
purchasers almost by half. Consequently, as fewer people decide to drink,
health problems will graddually diminish.
In conclusion, all citizens should fully pay taxes to their nation, as this will
contribute to the prosperity of their country and foster a healthier
community.

Band Score and Detailed Feedback

Based on the IELTS Writing Task 2 band descriptors, I would estimate this essay to fall into the
Band 7-8 range. Here's a detailed analysis of the essay with suggestions for improvement:

Task Response (8)

 Strengths: The essay fully addresses the prompt, presenting a clear stance and
supporting it with relevant reasons and examples. The arguments are well-developed and
relevant.
 Suggestions: To enhance the task response, consider addressing potential
counterarguments briefly to show a balanced perspective. This can strengthen your
position and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion (7)

 Strengths: The essay is well-organized, with clear paragraphs and logical progression of
ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, and transitions between ideas are
generally smooth.
 Suggestions: Use a wider range of cohesive devices and linking phrases to enhance the
flow of the essay. For example, phrases like "Furthermore," "Moreover," and "In
addition" can help in connecting ideas more seamlessly.

Lexical Resource (7)

 Strengths: The essay uses a good range of vocabulary appropriately. Words and phrases
like "stabilizing the economy," "subsidization," "public safety," and "price support" are
well-chosen.
 Suggestions: Aim to use more varied and sophisticated vocabulary. Avoid repetition of
certain words and phrases (e.g., "taxes" could be replaced with "taxation" or "levies"
occasionally).

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (7)

 Strengths: The essay demonstrates a range of grammatical structures with mostly

accurate usage. Complex sentences are used effectively.
 Suggestions: There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings (e.g., "citizen’s
health" should be "citizens' health"). Pay attention to punctuation, especially the use of
commas and apostrophes. Proofread to eliminate small errors.

 Final Band Score Estimate: 7.5-8

 With the suggested improvements, particularly in lexical resource and grammatical
accuracy, the essay could reach a solid Band 8. Keep practicing and refining your writing
to achieve the highest possible score.