Task 6.

2: Thesis Statement

1. Refer to your brainstorming diagram to decide the specific topic for your thesis
statement.
2. Using the same specific topic decided by all members, each member will create a
thesis statement that has the three parts of persuasive thesis statement.
3. Each member will give feedback and score to one member in the group.
4. The group leader will choose ONE thesis statement that has the highest score. If
there is a tie, the group leader decides which thesis statement will be submitted to
the lecturer.

Name of Group Thesis Statement Peer’s Feedback Score

Leader
Muhamad Insan Implementing a state-of-the-art digital Windy : To 9
Taufik transparency system will wonderfully enhance it,
transform Indonesia's socio-political consider
environment by greatly curbing corruption emphasizing the
through enhanced financial oversight, specific
significantly increasing governmental mechanisms
accountability with real-time reporting, and through which
actively promoting citizen participation via corruption will
interactive civic platforms. be curbed,
accountability
will be increased
Daulay : Your
thesis statement
is strong, but to
enhance clarity
and impact, you
could specify the
mechanisms of
the digital
transparency
system and the
expected
concrete
outcomes more
precisely.
Haris : Providing
context about
the current state
of corruption,
accountability,
and citizen
participation in
Indonesia can
 help readers
understand the
significance of
the proposed
digital
transparency
system. This
context can also
highlight why
such a system is
necessary and
timely.

Name of Group Thesis Statement Peer’s Score

Member Feedback
Windy Kurniawan Implementing an advanced digital Insan : For 8
transparency platform will drastically added
improve the Indonesian socio-political strength and
landscape by reducing corruption, enhancing brevity, specify
public accountability, and fostering greater how the
civic engagement. improvements
will be
achieved and
emphasize the
broader
impact
Daulay :
To improve
the thesis
statement,
consider
specifying how
the platform
will function
and providing
more concrete
outcomes to
make the
argument
more
compelling
and detailed.
Haris : While
the proposal
to implement
an advanced
 digital
transparency
platform in
Indonesia
suggests
potential
benefits such
as reducing
corruption,
enhancing
public
accountability,
and fostering
greater civic
engagement,
the statement
lacks
specificity
regarding the
mechanisms
through which
these
outcomes will
be achieved.
Alfi Rizieq Husaini The introduction of the Politic Sosial Forum Insan : 8.5
Daulay application, a digital platform for transparent Blockchain
political discourse and civic engagement, will technology
revolutionize Indonesian social-political might be
conditions by fostering accountability, difficult for the
enhancing public participation in decision- general public
making processes, and bridging the and
communication gap between the government
government and its citizens. officials to
adopt due to
its complexity.
Addressing
this issue can
strengthen the
statement by
showing an
awareness of
practical
limitations.
Windy : To
further
strengthen it,
consider
 elaborating on
how the
application will
promote
accountability
and citizen
engagement
Haris : You can
consider
mentioning
factors such as
digital literacy
gaps, potential
censorship or
surveillance
issues, or
resistance
from
entrenched
power
structures that
may impact
the platform's
ability to
foster
accountability
and public
participation
effectively.
Muhammad Haris The implementation of a comprehensive anti- Insan : 9
Sitompul corruption digital platform, which integrates Acknowledge
blockchain technology for transparency, real- potential
time reporting systems, and a public challenges or
feedback mechanism, will significantly limitations to
mitigate corruption in Indonesia by ensuring give a more
financial accountability, increasing balanced view.
governmental transparency, and Mentioning
empowering citizens to actively participate in potential
governance. obstacles like
technological
infrastructure,
internet access
in remote
areas, or
training for
healthcare
providers can
show a deeper
understanding
of the issue.
Windy : While
the statement
covers
multiple
features,
ensure it stays
focused on the
central thesis.
Consider
whether you
need to
narrow down
to the most
impactful
features that
will contribute
to reducing
corruption.
Daulay: Your
thesis
statement is
strong, but to
enhance
clarity and
impact,
consider
specifying how
the integration
of blockchain
technology,
real-time
reporting
systems, and a
public
feedback
mechanism
will lead to
measurable
improvements
in reducing
corruption and
promoting
transparency
in Indonesia.
No Final Thesis Statement The Score Revised Thesis
. lecturer’s Statement
Feedback
1 Implementing a state-of-the-art digital
transparency system will wonderfully
transform Indonesia's socio-political
environment by greatly curbing corruption
through enhanced financial oversight,
significantly increasing governmental
accountability with real-time reporting, and
actively promoting citizen participation via
interactive civic platforms.

5. Name the file: Your Class_Your Group_Task (For example: SI-44-01_Group 1_Task
9_Thesis Statement)
6. Submit the task via the LMS.
7. Your lecturer will download the word file from the LMS and upload it to a gdrive.
8. Your lecturer will share the link to the gdrive so that you can continue the writing
project.
9. The next step after writing thesis statement is outlining.
10. Make sure the group leader informs all members to read the revised thesis
statement.

Rubric for Thesis Statement

Element 80-100 60-79 40-59 0-39

Thesis Thesis is directly Thesis is stated and show a Thesis lacks clarity Thesis is not
stated and plan for how the writers will and demonstrates a clear and
completely shows prove their argument in the partial understanding represents a
a plan for how the body of the essay, but an of the task. confused
writers will prove element of the plan is too understanding
their argument in brad or too specific. of the task.
the body of the
essay.