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Wilson

Partnerships
6th edition 6th edition

Partnerships Partnerships
Families and Families and
Communities Communities

Families and Communities in Early Childhood


in Early in Early
Childhood Childhood

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and study tools. We make it easy, convenient, and affordable for you to purchase and access your course 6th
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ISBN-13: 978-0-17-659431-2
ISBN-10: 0-17-659431-0

9 780176 594312
Lynn Wilson
Québec’s Services Intégrés en ­Périnatalité Exclusionary or Offensive Terminology
et pour la Petite Enfance (SIPPE) à and Practice  91
L’intention des Familles Vivant en Bias, Prejudice, Racism   92
­Contexte de Vulnérabilité   52 Guilt  95
Changes in Ontario Regarding Child Rivalry  95
and Family Programs 2016   52 Feelings of Vulnerability and Fear   96
First Call British Columbia   53 Lack of Teacher Training and Professional
Child Care in Rural and Farming Development  97
­Communities  53 Burnout  98
A Vision for Rural Child Care   55 Negative Attitudes about Men in ECE   99
References  57 Books for Adults   100
Strategies for Achieving Effective
Chapter 3  Building Effective Partnerships   58 Partnerships  100
Why We Need Family Engagement   59 What Can the Leaders Do?   101
Collaboration Is Key!   59 Aspiring Leaders in Early Childhood   101
What the Experts Say   59 Create Administrative ­Policies That
Roadblocks  61 Strengthen Family Engagement   101
The Rights of Parents   61 Goal Setting   102
The Rights of the Child   62 Model the Way   102
Reaching Out to Families   62 Be an Efective Communicator   102
Sharing Expertise  63 Be Accessible   102
Families, Teachers, and Cultural Influences   65 Hire Outstanding Staff   103
The Role of the Educator   66 Develop a Team Approach   103
Student Perceptions  68 Support Families and Teachers   104
Support Families Experiencing Poverty
Inter-professional Collaboration  70 or Financial Difficulties   105
The Beneficiaries of Effective Partnerships   70 Acknowledge Teachers’ Strengths   105
Benefits for Families   71 Establish Mentoring   107
Benefits for Children   72 Supervise the Development of Appropriate
Benefits for Teachers   73 Relevant Curriculum   108
Benefits for Everyone: ­Community What Can Educators Do?   111
­Engagement  74 Commit to Family Engagement   111
Le Centre de Santé Communautaire Lay the Foundation   111
du Grand Sudbury   77 Boundaries  112
London Family Centre ­Service System Share the Power!   113
(City of London)   78 Maintain Confidentiality   113
Challenges to Effective Partnerships   79 Develop Strong Interpersonal Skills   113
Having Unrealistic Expectations   79 Communicate on a Regular Basis   114
Teachers’ Conflicting Attitudes about Be Responsive and Accommodating   115
Partnerships  79 Tell the Truth and Be Patient   116
Families’ Conflicting ­Attitudes about Demonstrate Empathy   116
Partnerships  82 Respect Diversity in Families and Suspend
Demands on Families   83 Judgment  118
Expect Conflict and Be
Demands on Teachers   85
Open-Minded  118
Stress in the Workplace   85
Ask for Help   120
Mental Health Issues   85
Engage in Reflective Practice   120
Lack of Communication   86
Teacher as Expert   87 Books for Adults   120
Opposing Values and Attitudes   87 Be Involved in Professional Development   121
Differing Educational Philosophies   89 References  123

vi Contents NEL
Copyright 2019 Nelson Education Ltd. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content
may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s). Nelson Education reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
Chapter 4  Laying the Foundation   126 Positive Discipline in Everyday
Initial Contact with a Child and Family Parenting  166
Centre  127 Mindmasters  167
The First Telephone Call   127 Canadian Parenting Workshops: ­Preparing
Written Communication  127 Children for School ­Success   167
Pathways to Competence for Young
Visiting the Centre   127
­Children: A Parenting Program   167
Creating a Welcoming Environment   128
Systematic Training for Effective ­Parenting
The Role of the Leader   133
(STEP)  167
Touring the Centre   134
Parent Effectiveness Training   167
Ensuring Quality: Helping Parents Know
Barbara Coloroso’s Winning
What to Look For   136
at Parenting   168
Family Visits  137 The Incredible Years Program   168
Elements of a Successful Family Visit   139 Reaching In … Reaching Out (RIRO)   168
Follow-Up to the Family Visit   141 Film Night   168
Why Family Visits Aren’t Done More Book Night   169
Often  141 Brown-Bag Lunches   169
Time  141 Alumni Night   169
Money  142 Family–Teacher Panel Discussions   169
Reluctant Families   142 The Open House   170
Reluctant Centres   142 Taking It on the Road   170
Reluctant Teachers   143 Participation Days   170
The Separation Process   144 Preparing for Effective Meetings   171
Role of the Educator in the Separation How to Run Effective Meetings   174
Process  146 Follow-Up  176
The First Day at the Centre: Strategies for
Informal Family Gatherings   177
a Successful Transition   148
Child and Family Celebrations   179
End of the Day   152
Books for Children   180
Transitions to New Playrooms: Supporting
Books for Adults   180
Families  152
Volunteers  180
Transitions from Child and Family Centres
Family Members as Volunteers   181
to School Environments   153
Elders as Volunteers   183
Children on Their Own   156
Community Members as Volunteers   184
Books for Children   157 Ways to Volunteer   185
Books for Adults   157 Administrative Duties   185
References  158 Communication Tasks   185
Maintenance Tasks   185
Program Development   186
Chapter 5  Ways to Involve Families   159
Training of Volunteers   186
Strategies for Involving Families   160 Preparing for Volunteers   187
Male-Friendly Environments  160 Volunteer Responsibilities: A Checklist   187
Books for Children   162 Evaluation of the Volunteer Program   187
Books for Adults   162 Books for Adults   188
Family–Centre Get-Togethers  163 Fundraising  188
Family Gatherings: Formal Sessions to Support How to Plan a Successful Fundraising
Parenting Skills  163 Event  189
Factors That Influence Parenting   163 Fundraising Ideas  190
How Early Learning Environments Can Books for Adults   191
Support Parenting  165 Families as Members of a Board of Directors/
The Hanen Language Program   166 Parent Advisory Boards   191

NEL Contents vii


Copyright 2019 Nelson Education Ltd. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content
may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s). Nelson Education reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
The Family’s Role in Evaluation   194 Centre Policies   213
Involve Families in Advocacy   194 Lack of Appreciation   213
The Vanier Institute of the Family   197 Hostile Teachers   213
Family Involvement Network What to Say: Handling Difficult Situations   213
of Educators   197 More Challenging Situations   214
Canadian Child Care Federation   198
The Conflict-Resolution Process   215
Child Care Now   198
Centre of Excellence for Early Childhood Cultures in Conflict   216
Development  198 Cultural Influences on Communication   216
The Childcare Resource and Research Strategies for Resolving Conflicts Based on
Unit  198 Cultural Differences  217
References  199 The Critical Connection: Day-to-Day Interaction
with Families  217
How Much Time Do We Spend
Chapter 6  Verbal Communication with in Discussion?  217
Families  200 When Do the Discussions Take Place?   218
Are You a Skillful Communicator?   201 What Do We Discuss?   218
Principles of Effective Verbal Which Family Members Do We Talk
Communication  201 to the Most?   218
What Makes an Effective References  220
Communicator?  201
Trust  202
Effective Listening   202 Chapter 7  Formal Family Meetings   222

Books for Adults   203 Reasons for Organizing More Formal


Encouragers  203 Meetings  223
Language Use  203 How Families and Educators Benefit from
Some Tips for Teachers Using More Formal Meetings   223
an Interpreter   204 Concerns about Formal Meetings   223
How We Say It!   204 Teachers’ Concerns   223
Families’ Concerns   225
Nonverbal Interaction  205
Strategies for Planning the Meeting   226
Books for Adults   206 The Role of the Supervisor/Principal   226
Eye Contact  206 Advance Planning  226
Books for Adults   206 The Concept of Time   227
Touch  206 Confirming the Meeting   227
Gestures  206 Teacher Preparation  228
Books for Adults   207 Record Keeping  228
Proxemics  207 Portfolio Development  229
Avoiding Misunderstandings  207 Preparing the Waiting and Meeting
Perception Checking  207 Areas  231
Suspending Judgment  208 Should Children Attend the
Empathy  208 Meeting?  232
Self-Monitoring  209 Early Learning ­Environments and Schools
Discouraging Gossip  209 Working Together  232
Family–Teacher ­Disagreements and Strategies Getting Started  232
for Resolving Them   211 Effective Communication  233
Causes of Disagreements   212 Questioning Strategies  234
Breaking a Rule   212 Sources of Conflict   235
Hierarchy  212 Dealing with Difficult Situations   235
Lack of Communication   212 The Sandwich Approach   236
Differences  212 Behavioural Issues  236

viii Contents NEL


Copyright 2019 Nelson Education Ltd. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content
may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s). Nelson Education reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
Being Professional Under Pressure   236 Report Cards  267
Helping Parents Voice Their Concerns   238 Brochures and Fliers   267
Avoid Giving Advice   239 Journals  267
Finding Families’ Strengths   239 Photos  269
Books for Children   239 The Daily Flash   270
Lists  271
Books for Adults   240
Newsletters  271
Children with Special Needs   240
Individual Room Newsletters   274
Books for Adults   242 Calendars  275
Wrapping Up the Meeting   242 Happy Letters  275
Follow-Up and Evaluation   242 Happy Letters from Parents   275
References  245 Happy Letters from the Child to the
Family  275
Happy Letters from a Parent
Chapter 8  Staying Connected  246 to a New Teacher   276
The Benefits of Written Communication   247 Happy Letters to the Community   276
Initial Written Communication   248 Sharing from Home   276
Letter of Confirmation   248 Cards and Notes   276
Orientation Form  248 Bulletin Boards  277
Intake Form  249 Bulletin Boards for Children   279
Incident/Injury Report Form   249 The Family Resource Area   279
The Family Handbook   249 Resource-Area Extras  281
Design and Layout   255 Borrow-a-Book Program   281
Contents  256 Story Boxes   281
1. Welcome to the Centre   256 Travelling Suitcases   281
2. History of the Centre   256 Porta Paks   283
3. Practical Information   256 Toy Lending   283
4. Philosophy   257 Family Involvement Storybook
5. Administration of the Centre   257 Resources  283
6. Qualifications of Staff   257 Evaluating the Family Resource Area   283
7. Admission Procedures   257 Parents  283
8. Fee Structure   257 Children  284
9. Prosocial Behaviour and Child-Abuse Where Do Families Seek Out
Policy  258 Information?  284
10. Health and Exclusion Policy   258 Technology and ­Communication
11. Safety Issues   259 Opportunities  284
12. Food and Nutrition Policy   259 Smart Boards  287
13. Drop-Off and Pick-Up Procedures   259 Seesaw  288
14. Field Trips   260 Centre Websites  288
15. What to Bring on the Email  288
First Day   260 Blogging and Websites for Parents
16. Involving Families   260 and Teachers  288
17. Special Features   260 Online Chat  289
The Playroom Handbook   261 Virtual, Real-Time Technology   289
Learning Stories, ­Documentation, Skype/Facetime  289
and the Project Approach   261 Cameras in the Playroom   289
Ongoing Written Communication   265 The Telephone as a ­Communication Tool   289
Centre Menus  265 Texting  290
Planning Forms  265 The Right Time to Call the Centre or
Daily Charts  267 School  290

NEL Contents ix
Copyright 2019 Nelson Education Ltd. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content
may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s). Nelson Education reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
Calling Teachers at Home   291 Role of the Educator   329
Mass Calls  291 Role of the Educator in the Room   329
Advance Notice  291 Books for Children   330
Social Media  291
Books for Adults   330
References  292
Adoptive Families  330
Domestic Adoption (Adoptions within
Chapter 9  Families We May Meet   293 Canada)  330
Family Diversity  294 Public Adoption   330
Indigenous Families  294 Private Adoption   331
Residential Schools and the Truth Openness in Adoption   331
and Reconciliation Commission   298 Inter-country Adoption  332
Traditional Education  299 The Hague Convention on Inter-country
Those Making a Difference   303 Adoption  332
National Aboriginal Day   304 Transracial Adoption  332
Role of the Educator   304 Family Adjustment  332
Role of the Educator in the Room   304 Role of the Educator   333
Role of the Educator in the Room   335
Books for Children   306
Books for Children   337
Books for Adults   306
Books for Adults   337
Immigrant Families  306
Refugee Families  309 Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transsexual,
The Mosaic Family Resource Centre, Transgender, and Queer Families (Lgbtq)  337
Calgary, AB   310 Facts about Lgbtq  337
Victims of Torture   311 Gay Male Teachers   339
Migrant Families  311 Gay Fathers   339
Role of the Educator   312 Lgbtq Families and Their Children   340
Role of the Educator in the Room   315 Pride Library  341
PFLAG  344
Books for Children   317 Queer Parenting Programs   344
Books for Adults   317 The 519 Church Street Community Centre,
Multiracial Families  317 Toronto, Ontario   344
Role of the Educator   318 Role of the Educator   344
Role of the Educator in the Room   319 Role of the Educator in the Room   345
Books for Children   319 Books for Children   346
Books for Adults   319 Books for Adults   346
Older Families  320 Teen Families  347
Role of the Educator   321 Demands of Teenage Parenthood   347
Role of the Educator in the Room   321 Young Fathers  348
Noncustodial Grandparents  322 Role of the Educator   349
Role of the Educator in the Room   349
Grandparents Raising Their Grandchildren:
Skip-Generation Families  323 Separated, Divorced, Joint-Custody,
Kinship Care  324 and Lone-Parent Families   350
An Innovative Program—Grandfamilies Attitudes to Marriage   351
House  325 Divorce  351
Role of the Educator   326 Impact on Children and Parents   351
Role of the Educator in the Room   326 Joint Custody  352
Custodial and Noncustodial Parents   353
Books for Children   327
Separated and Lone Parents   354
Books for Adults   327 Parents without Partners   354
Foster Families  327 One-Child Families  354

x Contents NEL
Copyright 2019 Nelson Education Ltd. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content
may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s). Nelson Education reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
Living Apart Together   354 Books for Children   389
Transnational Families   354 Books for Adults   389
An Incarcerated Parent   355 Moving  389
Lone-Parent Families by Choice   355 Role of the Educator   389
Military Families  356
Books for Children   390
Widowed Parents  358
Books for Adults   390
Books for Children   358
Families in which There Is Substance
Books for Adults   359
Abuse  391
Role of the Educator   359
Impact of Substance Abuse on Children   392
Role of the Educator in the Room   360
Role of the Educator   392
Blended Families  361 Breaking the Cycle: A Success Story   394
Role of the Educator   363
Books for Children   394
Role of the Educator in the Room   363
Books for Adults   394
Books for Children   364
Shelter Life and Homelessness   394
Books for Adults   364 Women and Children Living
References  364 in Shelters  395
Role of the Educator   395
Chapter 10  Families in Transition: Issues Books for Children   396
Facing Many Families   368 Books for Adults   397
On Becoming a Parent   369 Families Living with Abuse and Family
Stages and Styles of Parenting   370 Violence  397
Stages of Parenting   370 Forms of Family Violence   398
Parenting Styles  370 Physical Abuse   398
Siblings  373 Psychological/Emotional Abuse   398
Welcoming a New Baby   373 Sexual Abuse   399
Financial/Economic Abuse   399
Books for Children   374
Risk of Family Violence   399
Books for Adults   374 Child Abuse  399
Families with Children Who Have Special Neglect  400
Needs  375 Physical Abuse   400
How Parents Can Support Teachers   377 Sexual Abuse   400
Role of the Educator   377 Emotional Abuse   400
Specialink  379 Prevalence of Child Abuse   400
Books for Children   380 Internet Sexual Exploitation   401
Books for Adults   380 The Overlap between Family Violence
and Child Abuse   402
Mental Health, Chronic Illness, or Disability
The Possible Impact of Abuse on
in Families  381
Children  402
Mental Health Issues   381
Brain Development   402
Serious Illness  382
Attachment  402
When a Child Is Hospitalized   383
Self-Blame  403
Books for Children  384 Fear  403
Books for Adults   384 Powerlessness  403
Death in the Family  384 Betrayal  403
Role of the Educator   387 Destructiveness  404
Loss  404
Books for Children   388
Role of the Educator Reporting Suspicions
Books for Adults   388 of Child Abuse and Family Violence   404
Families Coping with a Natural Disaster   388 Helping Parents When Their Child Has
Role of the Educator   388 Been Abused   405

NEL Contents xi
Copyright 2019 Nelson Education Ltd. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content
may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s). Nelson Education reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
Helping Children Who Have ­Experienced War and Terrorism   431
Abuse  406 Child Soldiers   431
Violence Prevention   407 People on the Move: Refugees from
Books for Children   407 Syria  432
Books for Adults   407 Innovative Programs  433
Radio-Based Learning: Bringing Safer
Sources and Signs of Stress   408
­Education to Young Girls in the
Kids Have Stress Too   408
­Democratic Republic of the Congo   433
Books for Children   412 Sure Start, England   433
Books for Adults   412 National Maternal–Child Program, Educa a
Families with an Incarcerated Parent   412 Tu Hijo Program, Cuba   434
Female Offenders  413 Canadians Making a ­Difference on the World
Male Offenders  413 Front  435
Children of Offenders   414 Stephen Lewis Foundation   435
Role of the Educator   416 We Charity (Formerly Free the
Books for Children   417 Children)  436
Books for Adults   417 War Child  436
Sleeping Children Around the World
The Strong Family Unit   417 (SCAW)  436
Endnotes  417 Save the Children Canada   437
References  418 Education Beyond Borders   437
The Consultative Group on Early Childhood
Care and Development   437
Chapter 11  Families: An International
Perspective  422 Supporting Children in Postemergency
Situations  438
The Convention on the Rights of the Child   423
Helping Children Cope   439
Monitoring Child Rights   424
Early Childhood ­Graduates: Ways That You Can
Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination
Make a Difference   439
against Women  424
Teacher Shortage  439
Global Inequality and Its Impact Are You a Good Candidate for Working
on Women  425 Abroad?  439
Review of the United Nations Millennium Organizations for Volunteering   440
­Development Goals  425 Global Affairs Canada ­International Youth
The United Nations 2030 Sustainable Internship Program (IYIP)   440
­Development Goals  427 International ECE Students   441
Global Early Childhood Education IIPT Credo of the Peaceful Traveler©  441
and Care  427 The Final Word   442
Child Survival: A Global Perspective   428 References  443
Malaria  428 Index  445
HIV and AIDS   428
Children and Disability   429
Female Feticide  431

xii CONTENTS NEL


Copyright 2019 Nelson Education Ltd. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content
may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s). Nelson Education reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
EXHIBITS LIST

Exhibit 1.1 Canada: A Quiz   2 Exhibit 5.2 Organizing Effective Meetings:


Exhibit 1.2 A Mother’s Memories A Checklist  174
of Poverty  21 Exhibit 5.3 Celebrations: A Questionnaire for
Exhibit 2.1 What to Ask When Seeking Families  180
Home-Based Child Care   38 Exhibit 6.1 Nothing Succeeds Like Success:
Exhibit 3.1 What Makes Relationships Strategies for Improving
Work?  64 Communication  210
Exhibit 3.2 Parents’ Common Bond   71 Exhibit 6.2 Building Meaningful Family–
Exhibit 4.1 Two Different First Teacher Interactions  219
Impressions  133 Exhibit 8.1 Guidelines for Written
Exhibit 4.2 Sample Item from Observation Communication  247
Sheet  137 Exhibit 9.1 Supporting Immigrant or ­Refugee
Exhibit 4.3 Sample Orientation Week for Families: An Information
Younger Children in Care Checklist  314
Situations  151 Exhibit 9.2 Talking with Your Child about
Exhibit 4.4 Transitioning Children to New Adoption: Guidelines for Adoptive
Playrooms  154 Parents  334
Exhibit 5.1 How Effectively Are Men Involved Exhibit 10.1 How to Help Children Who Have
in Your Program?   163 Experienced Abuse  406

NEL xiii
Copyright 2019 Nelson Education Ltd. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content
may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s). Nelson Education reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
A NOTE ON THE TEXT

Partnerships was developed as a resource to New to This Edition


encourage the development of authentic, mean-
Chapter 1: The Changing Face of Canadian
ingful, and respectful relationships with families.
Families discusses the nature of families and
Since the publication of the first edition, signifi-
how our own family experience impacts on our
cant shifts have taken place in the relationship
interactions with the families we meet in the field.
between families and educators and teachers in
We consider the many issues facing Canadian
both early learning and school environments.
families and discuss the most recent research,
Family members continue to demand a more
including information on fertility and how science
active role in their children’s care and educa-
is impacting the family unit. The increasing
tion and have challenged the notion of teacher as
diversity of Canadian society is explored in depth,
expert. Compelling research supports the benefits
including the impact of the country’s increasing
to children, educators, teachers, and families when
religious diversity. Also examined is the way
a strong alliance between all parties is formed, and
new immigrants and refugees to our country are
it is from this perspective that this resource has
adapting. We consider the issues of work and
been written.
family conflict, parental leaves, the cost of child
As more children throughout the country
care, poverty, homelessness and shelter life.
enter full-day kindergarten programs, the text
Changes to Chapter 2: Supports to Children and
has been expanded to be more inclusive of
Families include an update on government initia-
­primary-school environments. There are more
tives. We examine child care in Canada, private
Inside Looks from educators and teachers, and
home care, the use of nannies, and outline many
other professionals in the field, as well as many
innovative national programs designed to support
more from ECE students themselves. Students
children and their families. A new focus in this
play a critical role in this text by providing
chapter is how the outdoor learning environment
their insights into their experiences while in
is changing the way we approach our work with
their field placement experiences. Experts from
children and families.
around the country have also shared their ideas,
Chapter 3: Building Effective Partnerships
as well as examples of programs that have been
begins by outlining why we need partnerships
successful in their own communities. There is
with families and the importance of collaboration.
no question that the impact of the Reggio Emilia
The rights of parents and rights of the child are
approach has influenced educators around the
discussed. We explore strategies for ensuring effec-
world, and this edition continues to reflect its
tive relationships, the benefits to all concerned, and
respect for families. New photos improve the
the potential challenges. This chapter also includes
text and ­provide more current examples; statis-
input from students about their perceptions and the
tics have been updated based on the 2016 census
challenges they face in their work with families in
where possible. Where appropriate, books have
their field placements. Many more students now
been suggested for children and adults on rel-
complete their placements in primary-school loca-
evant topics, and URLs have been included
tions, giving them an opportunity to work closely
throughout.
with the school team. The chapter also focuses
The student resources available at www.
on the need for a collaborative, interprofessional
nelson.com/student include various forms,
approach within our communities to ensure that
checklists, and other useful tools from the
families have the support they need to raise happy
text that can be downloaded for student and
and healthy children.
instructor use. Throughout the text, an icon
Chapter 4: Laying the Foundation includes more
will appear to signify to the reader that these
extensive information on orientations for new fam-
items are available on the website. Students and
ilies, including family visits, and their importance
instructors can be instantly connected to the
in establishing positive relationships with families
websites that are highlighted throughout the
in early learning environments both in child care
book.
and school settings. The section on separation and

xiv NEL
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may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s). Nelson Education reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
transitions to new rooms and school environments parenting styles influence children. We explore
has been expanded. how siblings influence the family unit, and discuss
Chapter 5: Ways to Involve Families highlights children with special needs. Mental health issues,
strategies for actively encouraging family involve- as well as chronic illness and its impact on the
ment in both formal and informal gatherings. The family, have been expanded upon. A section on
chapter also provides information on a number of children and hospitalization is included. The role
successful Canadian parenting workshops. Oppor- of the teacher when a child or parent dies is exam-
tunities for families to have significant influence ined, as is information on the grieving process.
in the early learning environment are discussed, as The substance abuse section is expanded. Rising
are strategies for creating more welcoming male- concern about homeless families is also included
friendly environments. New research addresses the in the chapter. The family violence section is
increased involvement of fathers in family life. expanded with the most recent research. The sec-
Chapter 6: Verbal Communication with tion on families with an incarcerated parent has
Families expands the content on verbal and been expanded to include a discussion of how the
nonverbal interactions between families, educators, prison system is attempting to support parenting
and teachers. There is a greater emphasis on self- skills and to improve visitation opportunities for
reflection and communicating openly with families families. Information on natural disasters and
from diverse backgrounds. A section on gestures has how educators and teachers can help children deal
been expanded, and the chapter provides practical with this type of crisis is included.
ideas of what to say when challenging situations Chapter 11: Families: An International Per-
arise. Additional reading material on effective spective explores the family in a global con-
communication strategies is included in this chapter. text. Information includes the UN Convention
Chapter 7: Formal Family Meetings explains on the Rights of the Child, a review of the UN
the benefits of family–teacher meetings and Millennium Development Goals, and the new
suggests strategies for successful interactions. It also Sustainable Development Goals. The underlying
discusses strategies for dealing with challenging and structural causes of maternal and child mor-
situations that may arise in a conference. More tality are explored. We discuss the impact of war
emphasis has been placed on supporting newcomer and terrorism on families. A variety of Canadian
families. New technology is changing the face of aid organizations are highlighted. The final sec-
early childhood education and several new tools are tion of the text provides opportunities for ECE
discussed in this chapter. students to evaluate the competencies required
Chapter 8: Staying Connected provides more for working in the international community and
guidelines for written communication. Many explores options for volunteering or working
more practical examples have been added to the abroad.
chapter including learning stories, documen-
tation, and the section on technology has been
greatly expanded. THE INSTRUCTOR’S
In Chapter 9: Families We May Meet, the dis- MANUAL
cussion of family types has been expanded and The accompanying Instructor’s Manual outlines
updated where possible, based on information strategies for in-class exercises on a chapter-by-chapter
released from the 2016 census. Information on basis. The manual contains learning outcomes,
Indigenous families has been greatly enlarged. examples for classroom discussions, and assignments.
The section on noncustodial grandparents, foster It is available as a downloadable resource on the
and adoptive families, as well as LGBTQ families instructor companion website http://www.nelson.
has been expanded. There is expanded discussion com/instructor.
concerning military families and the challenges
they may face. The recent influx of immigrant and
refugee families is also explored. A NOTE ON TERMINOLOGY
Chapter 10: Families in Transition: Issues Those who work in early learning environments
Facing Many Families highlights the many chal- are referred to by many different titles. These titles
lenges that may face the families with whom we differ from province to province. Throughout the
may work. We analyze the impact of becoming text you will see the terms educator and teacher used
a parent, the stages of parenthood, and the ways interchangeably, given that the text is targeted to

NEL A NOTE ON THE TEXT xv


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may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s). Nelson Education reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
those who work in many different types of child- Kelsey, Alexander, Kristen, and Katherine. They
care environments as well as those who work in enrich my life in ways that words cannot express.
primary-school settings. The terms mother and This year our family is growing; “we” are expecting
father are used in this text but may refer to any a grandson! I can only hope after years of lobbying
significant woman or man in a child’s life. the government for changes to a national child care
policy that my grandson will experience a rich and
exciting environment in which to grow, nurtured
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS by educators who love their work and understand
I would like to thank the children who contributed the importance of meaningful partnerships with
their exceptional drawings that are seen throughout families.
the text. I would also like to acknowledge the enormous
I want to thank the many individuals who have support and generosity over the years of my col-
contributed their time and expertise to this latest leagues at George Brown College. It has been a
edition. Each contributor is credited in the body of privilege to work with such dedicated professionals,
the text, but I want to acknowledge all of them for committed to the well-being of young children and
their outstanding efforts. They have greatly influ- their families! My heartfelt thanks for their encour-
enced my work and I know students will benefit agement and guidance. Throughout the years I have
from their insightful passages. met many brave and inspired parents. Some remain
I would like to thank the reviewers of the pre- my friends and many of their experiences are high-
vious edition whose insightful feedback informed lighted in the text. I would also like to thank the
many of the changes made to this edition: many students who have contributed ideas to this
book and made me rethink others.
Audrey Huberman, Ryerson University
Finally, the following quotation from Barbara
Brenda Huff, St. Clair College – Thames Campus Coloroso (1989) perhaps best conveys the spirit of
Tracey Hull-Gosse, Durham College the text:
Dale Kern, Mohawk College Power is like a candle with a huge flame.
Jean MacDonald, Seneca College Our flame as teachers can light up every
child/family we come into contact with
Saima Sheikh, Humber College and never be diminished itself. The
I would also like to thank Wilfred Burton for his beauty of empowering another human
detailed review of the Indigenous content in my being is that we never lose our own
revised Chapter 9. His changes and recommenda- power. Instead what we have is a greater
light by which to see.
tions improved the chapter immeasurably. To the
staff at Nelson, I am deeply indebted to my Content
Manager, Courtney Thorne, whose support and
Lynn Wilson
guidance have been exceptional. She was professional
throughout this process and her attention to detail has
made this edition of the text the best it can be. I would
also like to thank Publisher Lenore Taylor-Atkins; ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Senior Production Project ­Manager Imoinda Romain; Lynn Wilson taught in a variety of teaching
Freelance Copy Editor Mariko Obokata; Permis- environments since her graduation in 1966 from
sions Researcher Jessie Coffey; and Project Manager teachers’ college. She spent a number of years in the
Udhaya Harisudan. To everyone at Nelson who has public school system in primary classrooms, helped
made this edition possible, I am forever in your debt. to establish a parent co-operative, and taught in
Your professional approach and many kindnesses a full-day kindergarten program in a child-care
extended to me made this edition a positive writing environment. Lynn supervised a George Brown
experience. ­College lab school and, in 1990, became a member
On a more personal note, I would like to thank of the faculty. She travelled to many child-care
my family: Charlie Dougall and my four children, centres in Western Canada as the project director
whose love, patience, and support have been a gift of a Child Care Initiatives Fund project of Health
to my life. I have learned much from my children, and Welfare Canada on extended-hour child care.

xvi A NOTE ON THE TEXT NEL


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may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s). Nelson Education reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
In cooperation with Ryerson Polytechnic Univer- Association of Canadian Community Colleges
sity’s School of Early Childhood Education, she from 2003 to 2011. Currently retired from her fac-
delivered training workshops with colleagues to ulty position at George Brown College, Lynn has
front-line teachers in Bosnia during the summers used this time to write two books that reflect her
of 1999 and 2000. In 2006, Lynn won a National passion for young children; Outdoor Playscapes—
Teaching Excellence Award from the Associa- Breaking New Ground and, in anticipation of
tion of Canadian Community Colleges. She was becoming a grandparent, A Handbook For Grand-
the technical advisor on a Partnership Project in parents: Over 700 Creative Things to Do and Make
Early Childhood Education in Jamaica with the with Your Grandchild.

NEL A NOTE ON THE TEXT xvii


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Copyright 2019 Nelson Education Ltd. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content
may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s). Nelson Education reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
1
Chapter

THE CHANGING FACE


OF ­CANADIAN FAMILIES

“Here is where one has the first experience of love, and of hate, of giving, and of denying; and of deep JGA/Shutterstock.com

sadness…. Here the first hopes are raised and met—or disappointed. Here is where one learns whom
to trust and whom to fear. Above all, family is where people get their start in life.”
—Amy Swerdlow, Renate Bridenthal, Joan Kelly, and Phyllis Vine (cited in Samovar, Porter,
McDaniel, and Roy, 2013: 64)

LEARNING OUTCOMES
After studying this chapter, you will be able to
1. describe families in today’s society 2. identify various factors affecting families in
Canada today

NEL 1
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may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s). Nelson Education reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
In this chapter, we examine the complex nature of conduct individual research to obtain the most
today’s families and the many factors that influ- meaningful statistics, which are those that best
ence them. Although every attempt has been reflect his or her own community. Try the quiz
made to provide the most recent information on in Exhibit 1.1 to test your knowledge of Canada
­Canadian families, the student is encouraged to and Canadians.

EXHIBIT 1.1 Canada: A Quiz


1. In the past 25 years, by what percentage has 9. What percentage of families in Canada are
Canada’s population increased? ­married-couple families?
a. 15% a. 47%
b. 25% b. 56%
c. 30% c. 67%
2. What are the two most multicultural cities in 10. How many people in Canada report having an
Canada? Indigenous identity?
a. Toronto and Montreal a. 500,000
b. Vancouver and Toronto b. 1.4 million
c. Vancouver and Montreal c. 2.6 million
3. Canada is a bilingual country. What is the only
11. How many people in Canada report being a
officially bilingual province?
member of a visible minority group?
a. Québec
a. 2.1 million
b. New Brunswick
b. 4.6 million
c. Ontario
c. 6.3 million
4. How many lone-parent families are in Canada?
12. How many people in Canada live in poverty?
a. 1.5 million
b. 2.3 million a. 1 in 5
c. 5.1 million b. 1 in 7
5. How many children are growing up in military c. 1 in 9
families in Canada? 13. What percentage of children living in the North
a. 20,000 are food-insecure?
b. 37,000 a. 47%
c. 64,000 b. 54%
6. How many Canadians have a family member c. 62%
who has a mental health illness?
14. Approximately what percentage of divorced
a. 1 in 10 or separated parents report that their children
b. 4 in 10 spend equal time living with mom and dad?
c. 6 in 10 a. 24%
7. Canada is home to how many grandparents? b. 38%
a. 2.5 million c. 40%
b. 5.3 million 15. Of 29 wealthy countries, where did UNICEF
c. 7.1 million place Canada in terms of overall child well-
8. What was the average retirement age of being, due to the number of children living in
­Canadians in 2015? poverty in Canada?
a. 59.7 years a. 4/29
b. 61.3 years b. 12/29
c. 63.6 years c. 17/29

2 CHAPTER 1 NEL
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may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s). Nelson Education reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
16. It has been estimated that $1 invested in the early 19. How many racialized families live in poverty in
years of a child’s life can save up to how many Canada?
dollars in future spending in the healthcare a. 1 in 5
system?
b. 2 in 5
a. $5
c. 3 in 5
b. $9
20. What percentage of single mothers in Canada
c. $12 raise their children while living in poverty?
17. How many Canadian households are pre- a. 15%
cariously housed—living in unaffordable,
b. 21%
below-standard, and/or overcrowded housing
conditions? c. 43%
a. 1 million Source: Canada Without Poverty. n.d. “Just the Facts: Poverty in
b. 3 million Canada.” Retrieved August 25, 2017, from http://www.cwp-csp.ca/
poverty/just-the-facts/; The Vanier Institute of the Family, 2016.
c. 5 million “Infographic: Family Diversity in Canada.” Retrieved August 25,
18. Approximately how many children are users of 2017, from http://vanierinstitute.ca/family-diversity-2016/

shelters across Canada?


a. 1 in 7
b. 3 in 7
c. 6 in 7

DEFINING A FAMILY never static. They are fluid, always in motion, con-
stantly changing and realigning themselves; events
such as marriages, births, deaths, and divorce will
“A family is people who love each other.” shift and alter the relationships and living arrange-
ments among family members, and a definition of
—Kate, age 5 family must respond to these changing variations.
A family may include blended family mem-
bers; grandparents parenting their grandchildren;
Poet Robert Frost once said that home is the place
­siblings assuming responsibility for each other;
where, when you go there, they have to let you in.
families with children who are adopted; families
He could have defined family in much the same
headed by gay and lesbian parents; and those living
way, but the term has legal, political, sociological,
and personal definitions. It is critical to a deeper
and more meaningful understanding of the family
in a global society that we, as teachers, extend our
Andy Dean Photography/­Shutterstock.com

understanding of family beyond the North Amer-


ican perspective.
In the face of dramatic social, economic and cul-
tural change over the past 30 years, many of the
accepted assumptions about what it means to be
a family have given way to increasingly diverse
forms and practices. Traditional roles, responsibili-
ties and boundaries have been challenged, blurred
and redrawn. (deVries, 2010: 1)
It is clear that there is no one-size-fits-all
approach to understanding the complex pluralistic The birth of a child has a tremendous impact on the
nature of families in Canada today. Families are family.

NEL THE CHANGING FACE OF CANADIAN FAMILIES 3


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may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s). Nelson Education reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
with aunts, uncles, more distant relatives, recent The most prevalent definition that is used in
immigrants, and friends. In attempting to catego- Canadian research and policymaking is Statistics
rize families, we discover the difficulty in finding Canada’s definition of a census family:
one definition that fits all. As we can see, families a married couple (with or without children of
are not homogeneous groups: each family will have either and/or both spouses), a common-law couple
different perspectives, attitudes, and values based on (with or without children of either and/or both
its cultural identity. Even within cultural groups, partners) or a lone parent of any marital status,
one family may differ from others who ascribe to with at least one child. A couple may be of oppo-
similar cultural underpinnings. For example, chil- site sex or same sex. A couple family with chil-
dren of second- or third-generation immigrants dren may be further classified as either an intact
may have ideas about how they will construct their family in which all children are the biological and/
own families that are dissimilar to their parents’ or adopted children of both married spouses or of
ideas. An individualistic approach versus a col- both common-law partners or a stepfamily with
at least one biological or adopted child of only one
lectivist approach may alter family relationships
married spouse or common-law partner and whose
and create harmony or conflict. Every individual’s
birth or adoption preceded the current relation-
understanding of family is shaped by his or her past; ship. (Statistics Canada, 2015a)
family is what we remember it to be.
We all have strong feelings about our families.
We may have positive feelings of love and caring
“We all grow up with the weight of history for people in our family; however, for others, the
on us. Our ancestors dwell in the attics of our family is a place of misery and neglect. The family
brains as they do in the spiraling chains of does not exist in a vacuum, and children may adopt
knowledge hidden in every cell of our bodies.” the culture, social class, status, and religious and
moral teachings of their family. Nevertheless, per-
—Shirley Abbott sonal choices “are shaped by our family circum-
stances and events in the wider society, such as
changes in educational opportunities, employment
trends, social policies, technological innovations,
“The family. We were a strange little band of media ­representations, and new ideas about human
characters trudging through life sharing diseases rights or personal entitlements” (Baker, 2007:
and toothpaste, coveting one another’s desserts, 1–2). The face of Canadian families is constantly
hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking redefining itself with social, cultural, economic,
each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and ­political, and environmental forces shaping how we
kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, view ourselves and our roles within our families.
laughing, defending, and trying to figure out “Truly understanding what it means to be a family
the common thread that bound us all together.” in Canada, however, requires looking beyond our
—Erma Bombeck own immediate experience to include the diverse
­spectrum of relationships and responsibilities that

INSIDE LOOK
In our family, my two sisters and I often argue about who our parents will live with when they get old.
We all want them to live with us! We are what the census data would call a multi-generational household.
My grandmother has lived with us for as long as I can remember, and my mother’s sister and her child
have also come from Pakistan to be with us. I see this as a model for family living. My mother has been
able to work, volunteer, and engage in our community in ways that would not have been possible if we
had not had this extended family with us—all eight of us! I love the energy and laughter in our house!

4 CHAPTER 1 NEL
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may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s). Nelson Education reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
INSIDE LOOK
What Children Have to Say about Families and Relationships
• “When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails any-
more. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too.
That’s love.” Rebecca, age 8
• “When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that
your name is safe in their mouth.” Billy, age 4
• “Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French Fries without
making them give you any of theirs.” Chrissy, age 6
• “If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.” Nikka, age 6
• “When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of
you.” Karen, age 7

Source: Reprinted by permission of Art Schrage, boardofwisdom.com.

make up family life from coast to coast to coast” and living arrangements. In the twenty-first cen-
(Sager, 2010: 5). tury, more of us believe that we have the right to
Families may be organized not only as an emo- choose our partners without interference and that
tional unit but also as a unit of economic production, whether or not we cohabit, formalize our relation-
whether based in an agricultural or industrial com- ships, or produce children should be our own deci-
sions rather than something we might be pressured
munity. Some languages have no word for family;
to do by family members, religious leaders, or legal
rather, the social unit is identified as a “house” that requirements.
may include many people.
Baker (2014: 1) summarizes how families have See if you recognize any family traits in the Inside
changed over time: Look feature on characteristics of functional families.
Our intimate relationships now involve more Some societies organize their kinship relation-
­personal choices about partners, sexual behavior, ships so that monogamy is the exception rather than

INSIDE LOOK
Characteristics of Functional Families
• Family Pride: Families are unified and loyal; they view their family positively and coop-
erate with one another
• Family Support: Families spend time together and provide love and support to each
member for a growth-producing environment
• Cohesion: In addition to cooperating with each other, members respect one another’s individu-
ality. Family members are interdependent without being too dependent or too independent
• Adaptability: In the face of change, families can adapt. Tasks may rotate or are completed
by those who have time and skills
• Communication: Both sharing of self and careful listening to others is important
• Social Support: Family members accept responsibility for supporting community endeavours
• Values: Families who function well know their values and they work to practice and live by them
• Joy: Families know how to have fun together

Source: From Couchenour/Chrisman. Families, Schools and Communities, 4E.© 2011 South-Western, a part of Cengage, Inc.
Reproduced by permission. www.cengage.com/permissions.

NEL THE CHANGING FACE OF CANADIAN FAMILIES 5


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Another random document with
no related content on Scribd:
The pilot-captain mentioned more than once his son’s Christian
name, but Tony could never quite catch what it was. It sounded like
Moor—or Mort; but the Father’s broad, flat pronunciation was
impossible to understand.
They finished their meal. Herr Diederich sat blinking in the sun, his
coat flung wide open over his white waistcoat, and he and his son
took out their short pipes. Tom smoked his cigarettes, and the young
people began a lively conversation, the subject of which was their
old school and all the old school recollections. Tony took part gaily.
They quoted Herr Stengel: “What! You were to make a line, and what
are you making? A dash!” What a pity Christian was not here! he
could imitate him so much better.
Once Tom pointed to the flowers at Tony’s place and said to his
sister: “That trims things up uncommonly well, as Herr Grünlich
would say!” Whereat Tony, red with anger, gave him a push and
darted an embarrassed glance at young Schwarzkopf.
The coffee-hour had been unusually late, and they had prolonged it.
It was already half-past six, and twilight was beginning to descend
over the Prival, when the captain got up.
“The company will excuse me,” he said; “I’ve some work down at the
pilot-house. We’ll have supper at eight o’clock, if that suits the young
folk. Or even a little later to-night, eh, Meta? And you” (here he used
his son’s name again), “don’t be lolling about here. Just go and dig
up your bones again. Fräulein Buddenbrook will want to unpack. Or
perhaps the guests would like to go down on the beach. Only don’t
get in the way.”
“Diederich, for pity’s sake, why shouldn’t he sit still a bit?” Frau
Schwarzkopf said, with mild reproach. “And if our guests like to go
down on the beach, why shouldn’t he go along? Is he to see nothing
at all of our visitors?”
CHAPTER VI
In her neat little room with the flower-covered furniture, Tony woke
next morning with the fresh, happy feeling which one has at the
beginning of a new chapter. She sat up in bed and, with her hands
clasped round her knees and her tousled head flung back, blinked at
the stream of light that poured through the closed shutters into the
room. She began to sort out the experiences of the previous day.
Her thoughts scarcely touched upon the Grünlich affair. The town,
his hateful apparition in the landscape-room, the exhortations of her
family and Pastor Kölling—all that lay far behind her. Here, every
morning, there would be a care-free waking. These Schwarzkopfs
were splendid people. Last night there had been pineapple punch,
and they had made part of a happy family circle. It had been very
jolly. Herr Schwarzkopf had told his best sea tales, and young
Schwarzkopf stories about student life at Göttingen. How odd it was,
that she still did not know his first name! And she had strained her
ear to hear too, but even at dinner she did not succeed, and
somehow it did not seem proper to ask. She tried feverishly to think
how it sounded—was it Moor—Mord—? Anyhow, she had liked him
pretty well, this young Moor or Mord. He had such a sly, good-
natured laugh when he asked for the water and called it by letters
and numbers, so that his father got quite furious. But it was only the
scientific formula for water—that is, for ordinary water, for the
Travemünde product was a much more complicated affair, of course.
Why, one could find a jelly-fish in it, any time! The authorities, of
course, might have what notions they chose about fresh water. For
this he only got another scolding from his father, for speaking
slightingly of the authorities. But Frau Schwarzkopf watched Tony all
the time, to see how much she admired the young man—and really,
it was most interesting, he was so learned and so jolly, all at the
same time. He had given her considerable attention. She had
complained that her head felt hot, while eating, and that she must
have too much blood. What had he replied? He had given her a
careful scrutiny, and then said, Yes, the arteries in the temples might
be full; but that did not prove that she had too much blood. Perhaps,
instead, it meant she had too little—or rather, that there were too few
red corpuscles in it. In fact, she was perhaps a little anæmic.
The cuckoo sprang out of his carven house on the wall and
cuckooed several times, clear and loud. “Seven, eight, nine,”
counted Tony. “Up with you!” She jumped out of bed and opened the
blinds. The sky was partly overcast, but the sun was visible. She
looked out over the Leuchtenfeld with its tower, to the ruffled sea
beyond. On the right it was bounded by the curve of the
Mecklenburg coast; but before her it stretched on and on till its blue
and green streaks mingled with the misty horizon. “I’ll bathe
afterwards,” she thought, “but first I’ll eat a big breakfast, so as not to
be consumed by my metabolism.” She washed and dressed with
quick, eager movements.
It was shortly after half-past nine when she left her room. The door of
the chamber in which Tom had slept stood open; he had risen early
and driven back to town. Even up here in the upper storey, it smelled
of coffee—that seemed to be the characteristic odour of the little
house, for it grew stronger as she descended the simple staircase
with its plain board baluster and went down the corridor, where lay
the living-room, which was also the dining-room and the office of the
pilot-captain. She went out into the verandah, looking, in her white
piqué frock, perfectly fresh, and in the gayest of tempers. Frau
Schwarzkopf sat with her son at the table. It was already partly
cleared away, and the housewife wore a blue-checked kitchen apron
over her brown frock. A key-basket stood beside her.
“A thousand pardons for not waiting,” she said, as she stood up. “We
simple folk rise early. There is so much to be done! Schwarzkopf is
in his office. I hope you don’t take it ill?”
Tony excused herself in her turn. “You must not think I always sleep
so late as this,” she said. “I feel very guilty. But the punch last night
—”
The young man began to laugh. He stood behind the table with his
short pipe in his hand and a newspaper before him.
“Good morning,” Tony said. “Yes, it is your fault. You kept urging me.
Now I deserve only cold coffee. I ought to have had breakfast and a
bathe as well, by this time.”
“Oh, no, that would be rather too early, for a young lady. At seven
o’clock the water was rather cold—eleven degrees. That’s pretty
sharp, after a warm bed.”
“How do you know I wanted a warm bath, monsieur?” and Tony sat
down beside Frau Schwarzkopf. “Oh, you have kept the coffee hot
for me, Frau Schwarzkopf! But I will pour it out myself, thank you so
much.”
The housewife looked on as her guest began to eat. “Fräulein slept
well, the first night? The mattress, dear knows, is only stuffed with
sea-weed—we are simple folk! And now, good appetite, and a good
morning. You will surely find many friends on the beach. If you like,
my son shall bear you company. Pardon me for not sitting longer, but
I must look after the dinner. The joint is in the oven. We will feed you
as well as we can.”
“I shall stick to the honeycomb,” Tony said when the two were alone.
“You know what you are getting.”
Young Schwarzkopf laid his pipe on the verandah rail.
“But please smoke. I don’t mind it at all. At home, when I come down
to breakfast, Papa’s cigar-smoke is already in the room. Tell me,”
she said suddenly. “Is it true that an egg is as good as a quarter of a
pound of meat?”
He grew red all over. “Are you making fun of me?” he asked, partly
laughing but partly vexed. “I got another wigging from my Father last
night for what he calls my silly professional airs.”
“No, really, I was asking because I wanted to know.” Tony stopped
eating in consternation. “How could anybody call them airs? I should
be so glad to learn something. I’m such a goose, you see. At Sesemi
Weichbrodt’s I was always one of the very laziest. I’m sure you know
a great deal.” Inwardly her thoughts ran: “Everybody puts his best
foot foremost, before strangers. We all take care to say what will be
pleasant to hear—that is a commonplace....”
“Well, you see they are the same thing, in a way. The chemical
constituents of food-stuffs—” And so on, while Tony breakfasted.
Next they talked about Tony’s boarding-school days, and Sesemi
Weichbrodt, and Gerda Arnoldsen, who had gone back to
Amsterdam, and Armgard von Schelling, whose home, a large white
house, could be seen from the beach here, at least in clear weather.
Tony finished eating, wiped her mouth, and asked, pointing to the
paper, “Is there any news?” Young Schwarzkopf shook his head and
laughed cynically.
“Oh, no. What would there be? You know these little provincial news-
sheets are wretched affairs.”
“Oh, are they? Papa and Mamma always take it in.”
He reddened again. “Oh, well, you see I always read it, too. Because
I can’t get anything else. But it is not very thrilling to hear that So-
and-So, the merchant prince, is about to celebrate his silver
wedding. Yes, you laugh. But you ought to read other papers—the
Königsberg Gazette, for instance, or the Rhenish Gazette. You’d find
a different story there, entirely. There it’s what the King of Prussia
says.”
“What does he say?”
“Well—er—I really couldn’t repeat it to a lady.” He got red again. “He
expressed himself rather strongly on the subject of this same press,”
he went on with another cynical laugh, which, for a moment, made a
painful impression on Tony. “The press, you know, doesn’t feel any
too friendly toward the government or the nobility or the parsons and
junkers. It knows pretty well how to lead the censor by the nose.”
“Well, and you? Aren’t you any too friendly with the nobility, either?”
“I?” he asked, and looked very embarrassed. Tony rose.
“Shall we talk about this again another time?” she suggested.
“Suppose I go down to the beach now. Look, the sky is blue nearly
all over. It won’t rain any more. I am simply longing to jump into the
water. Will you go down with me?”
CHAPTER VII
She had put on her big straw hat, and she raised her sunshade; for it
was very hot, though there was a little seabreeze. Young
Schwarzkopf, in his grey felt, book in hand, walked beside her and
sometimes gave her a shy side-glance. They went along the front
and walked through the garden of the Kurhouse, which lay there in
the sun shadeless and still, with its rose-bushes and pebbly paths.
The music pavilion, hidden among pine trees, stood opposite the
Kurhouse, the pastry-cook’s, and the two Swiss cottages, which
were connected by a long gallery. It was about half-past eleven, and
the hotel guests were probably down on the beach.
They crossed the playground, where there were many benches and
a large swing, passed close to the building where one took the hot
baths, and strolled slowly across the Leuchtenfeld. The sun brooded
over the grass, and there rose up a spicy smell from the warm
weeds and clover; blue-bottle flies buzzed and droned about. A dull,
booming roar came up from the ocean, whose waters now and then
lifted a crested head of spray in the distance.
“What is that you are reading?” Tony asked. The young man took the
book in both hands and ran it quickly through, from cover to cover.
“Oh, that is nothing for you, Fräulein Buddenbrook. Nothing but
blood and entrails and such awful things. This part treats of nodes in
the lungs. What we call pulmonary catarrh. The lungs get filled up
with a watery fluid. It is a very dangerous condition, and occurs in
inflammation of the lungs. In bad cases, the patient simply chokes to
death. And that is all described with perfect coolness, from a
scientific point of view.”
“Oh, horrors! But if one wants to be a doctor—I will see that you
become our family physician, when old Grabow retires. You’ll see!”
“Ha, ha! And what are you reading, if I may ask, Fräulein
Buddenbrook?”
“Do you know Hoffmann?” Tony asked.
“About the choir-master, and the gold pot? Yes, that’s very pretty. But
it is more for ladies. Men want something different, you know.”
“I must ask you one thing,” Tony said, taking a sudden resolution,
after they had gone a few steps. “And that is, do, I beg of you, tell me
your first name. I haven’t been able to understand it a single time I’ve
heard it, and it is making me dreadfully nervous. I’ve simply been
racking my brains—I have, quite.”
“You have been racking your brains?”
“Now don’t make it worse—I’m sure it couldn’t have been proper for
me to ask, only I’m naturally curious. There’s really no reason
whatever why I should know.”
“Why, my name is Morten,” said he, and became redder than ever.
“Morten? That is a nice name.”
“Oh—nice!”
“Yes, indeed. At least, it’s prettier than to be called something like
Hinz, or Kunz. It is unusual; it sounds foreign.”
“You are romantic, Fräulein Buddenbrook. You have read too much
Hoffmann. My grandfather was half Norwegian, and I was named
after him. That is all there is to it.”
Tony picked her way through the rushes on the edge of the beach. In
front of them was a row of round-topped wooden pavilions, and
beyond they could see the basket-chairs at the water’s edge and
people camped by families on the warm sand—ladies with blue sun-
spectacles and books out of the loan-library; gentlemen in light suits
idly drawing pictures in the sand with their walking-sticks; sun-burnt
children in enormous straw hats, tumbling about, shovelling sand,
digging for water, baking with wooden moulds, paddling bare-legged
in the shallow pools, floating little ships. To the right, the wooden
bathing-pavilion ran out into the water.
“We are going straight across to Möllendorpf’s pier,” said Tony. “Let’s
turn off.”
“Certainly; but don’t you want to meet your friends? I can sit down
yonder on those boulders.”
“Well, I suppose I ought to just greet them. But I don’t want to, you
know. I came here to be in peace and quiet.”
“Peace? From what?”
“Why—from—from—”
“Listen, Fräulein Buddenbrook. I must ask you something. No, I’ll
wait till another day—till we have more time. Now I will say au revoir
and go and sit down there on the rocks.”
“Don’t you want me to introduce you, then?” Tony asked, importantly.
“Oh, no,” Morten said, hastily. “Thanks, but I don’t fit very well with
those people, you see. I’ll just sit down over there on the rocks.”
It was a rather large company which Tony was approaching while
Morten Schwarzkopf betook himself to the great heap of boulders on
the right, near to the bathing-house and washed by the waves. The
party was encamped before the Möllendorpfs’ pier, and was
composed of the Möllendorpf, Hagenström, Kistenmaker, and
Fritsche families. Except for Herr Fritsche, the owner, from Hamburg,
and Peter Döhlmann, the idler, the group consisted of women, for it
was a week-day, and most of the men were in their offices. Consul
Fritsche, an elderly, smooth-shaven gentleman with a distinguished
face, was up on the open pier, busy with a telescope, which he
trained upon a sailboat visible in the distance. Peter Döhlmann, with
a broad-brimmed straw hat and a beard with a nautical cut, stood
chatting with the ladies perched on camp-stools or stretched out on
rugs on the sand. There were Frau Senator Möllendorpf, born
Langhals, with her long-handled lorgnon and untidy grey hair; Frau
Hagenström, with Julchen, who had not grown much, but already
wore diamonds in her ears, like her mother; Frau Consul
Kistenmaker and her daughters; and Frau Consul Fritsche, a
wrinkled little lady in a cap, who performed the duties of hospitality at
the bath and went about perpetually hot and tired, thinking only
about balls and routs and raffles, children’s parties and sailboat
excursions. At a little distance sat her paid companion.
Kistenmaker and Son was the new firm of wine-merchants which
had, in the last few years, managed to put C. F. Köppen rather in the
shade. The two sons, Edouard and Stephan, worked in their father’s
office. Consul Döhlmann possessed none of those graces of manner
upon which Justus Kröger laid such stress. He was an idler pure and
simple, whose special characteristic was a sort of rough good
humour. He could and did take a good many liberties in society,
being quite aware that his loud, brusque voice and bluff ways caused
the ladies to set him down as an original. Once at a dinner at the
Buddenbrooks, when a course failed to come in promptly and the
guests grew dull and the hostess flustered, he came to the rescue
and put them into a good humour by bellowing in his big voice the
whole length of the table: “Please don’t wait for me, Frau Consul!”
Just now, in this same reverberating voice, he was relating
questionable anecdotes seasoned with low-German idioms. Frau
Senator Möllendorpf, in paroxysms of laughter, was crying out over
and over again: “Stop, Herr Döhlmann, stop! for heaven’s sake, don’t
tell any more.”
They greeted Tony—the Hagenströms coldly, the others with great
cordiality. Consul Fritsche even came down the steps of the pier, for
he hoped that the Buddenbrooks would return next year to swell the
population of the baths.
“Yours to command, Fräulein Buddenbrook,” said Consul Döhlmann,
with his very best pronunciation; for he was aware that Mademoiselle
did not especially care for his manners.
“Mademoiselle Buddenbrook!”
“You here?”
“How lovely!”
“When did you come?”
“What a sweet frock!”
“Where are you stopping?”
“At the Schwarzkopfs’?”
“With the pilot-captain? How original!”
“How frightfully original.”
“You are stopping in the town?” asked Consul Fritsche, the owner of
the baths. He did not betray that he felt the blow.
“Will you come to our next assembly?” his wife asked.
“Oh, you are only here for a short time?”—this from another lady.
“Don’t you think, darling, the Buddenbrooks rather give themselves
airs?” Frau Hagenström whispered to Frau Senator Möllendorpf.
“Have you been in yet?” somebody asked. “Which of the rest of you
hasn’t bathed yet, young ladies? Marie? Julie, Louise? Your friends
will go bathing with you, of course, Fräulein Antonie.” Some of the
young girls rose, and Peter Döhlmann insisted on accompanying
them up the beach.
“Do you remember how we used to go back and forth to school
together?” Tony asked Julie Hagenström.
“Yes, and you were always the one that got into mischief,” Julie said,
joining in her laugh. They went across the beach on a foot-bridge
made of a few boards, and reached the bathhouse. As they passed
the boulders where Morten Schwarzkopf sat, Tony nodded to him
from a distance, and somebody asked, “who is that you are bowing
to, Tony?”
“That was young Schwarzkopf,” Tony answered. “He walked down
here with me.”
“The son of the pilot-captain?” Julchen asked, and peered across at
Morten with her staring black eyes. He on his side watched the gay
troop with rather a melancholy air. Tony said in a loud voice: “What a
pity August is not here. It must be stupid on the beach.”
CHAPTER VIII
And now began for Tony Buddenbrook a stretch of beautiful summer
weeks, briefer, lovelier, than any she had ever spent in Travemünde.
She bloomed as she felt her burden no longer upon her; her gay,
pert, careless manner had come back. The Consul looked at her with
satisfaction when he came on Sundays with Tom and Christian. On
those days they ate at the table-d’hôte, sat under the awnings at the
pastry-cook’s, drinking coffee and listening to the band, and peeped
into the roulette-room at the gay folk there, like Justus Kröger and
Peter Döhlmann. The Consul himself never played. Tony sunned
herself, took baths, ate sausages with ginger-nut sauce, and took
long walks with Morten. They went out on the high-road to the next
village, or along the beach to the “ocean temple” on its height,
whence a wide view was to be had over land and sea; or to the
woods behind the Kurhouse, where was a great bell used to call the
guests to the table-d’hôte. Sometimes they rowed across the Trave
to the Prival, to look for amber.
Morten made an entertaining companion, though his opinions were
often dogmatic, not to say heated. He had a severe and righteous
judgment for everything, and he expressed it with finality, blushing all
the time. It saddened Tony to hear him call the nobility idiots and
wretches and to see the contemptuous if awkward gesture that
accompanied the words. She scolded him, but she was proud to
have him express so freely in her presence the views and opinions
which she knew he concealed from his parents. Once he confided in
her: “I’ll tell you something: I’ve a skeleton in my room at Göttingen—
a whole set of bones, you know, held together by wire. I’ve put an old
policeman’s uniform on it. Ha, ha! Isn’t that great? But don’t say
anything to my Father about it.”
Tony was naturally often in the society of her town friends, or drawn
into some assembly or boating party. Then Morten “sat on the rocks.”
And after their first day this phrase became a convenient one. To “sit
on the rocks” meant to feel bored and lonely. When a rainy day came
and a grey mist covered the sea far and wide till it was one with the
deep sky; when the beach was drenched and the roads streaming
with wet, Tony would say: “To-day we shall both have to sit on the
rocks—that is, in the verandah or sitting-room. There is nothing left
to do but for you to play me some of your student songs, Morten—
even if they do bore me horribly.”
“Yes,” Morten said, “come and sit down. But you know that when you
are here, there are no rocks!” He never said such things when his
father was present. His mother he did not mind.
“Well, what now?” asked the pilot-captain, as Tony and Morten both
rose from table and were about to take their leave. “Where are the
young folk off to?”
“I was going to take a little walk with Fräulein Antonie, as far as the
temple.”
“Oh, is that it? Well, my son Filius, what do you say to going up to
your room and conning over your nerves? You’ll lose everything out
of your head before you get back to Göttingen.”
But Frau Schwarzkopf would intervene: “Now, Diederich, aren’t these
his holidays? Why shouldn’t he take a walk? Is he to have nothing of
our visitor?” So Morten went.
They paced along the beach close to the water, on the smooth, hard
sand that made walking easy. It was strewn with common tiny white
mussel-shells, and others too, pale opalescent and longish in shape;
yellow-green wet sea-weed with hollow round fruit that snapped
when you squeezed it; and pale, translucent, reddish-yellow jelly-
fish, which were poisonous and burned your leg when you touched
one bathing.
“I used to be frightfully stupid, you know,” Tony said. “I wanted the
bright star out of the jelly-fish, so I brought a lot home in my pocket-
handkerchief and put them on the balcony, to dry in the sunshine.
When I looked at them again, of course there was just a big wet spot
that smelled of sea-weed.”
The waves whispered rhythmically beside them as they walked, and
the salt wind blew full in their faces, streaming over and about them,
closing their ears to other sounds and causing a pleasant slight
giddiness. They walked in this hushed, whispering peacefulness by
the sea, whose every faint murmur, near or far, seemed to have a
deep significance.
To their left was a precipitous cliff of lime and boulders, with jutting
corners that came into view as they rounded the bay. When the
beach was too stony to go on, they began to climb, and continued
upward through the wood until they reached the temple. It was a
round pavilion, built of rough timbers and boards, the inside of which
was covered with scribbled inscriptions and poetry, carved hearts
and initials. Tony and Morten seated themselves in one of the little
rooms facing the sea; it smelled of wood, like the cabins at the
bathhouse. It was very quiet, even solemn, up here at this hour of
the afternoon. A pair of birds chattered, and the faint rustling of the
leaves mingled with the sound of the sea spread out below them. In
the distance they could see the rigging of a ship. Sheltered now from
the wind that had been thrumming at their ears, they suddenly
experienced a quiet, almost pensive mood.
Tony said, “Is it coming or going?”
“What?” asked Morten, his subdued voice sounding as if he were
coming back from a far distance. “Oh—going— That is the
Burgermeister Steenbock, for Russia.” He added after a pause: “I
shouldn’t like to be going with it. It must be worse there than here.”
“Now,” Tony said, “you are going to begin again on the nobility. I see
it in your face. And it’s not at all nice of you. Tell me, did you ever
know a single one of them?”
“No!” Morten shouted, quite insulted. “Thank God, no.”
“Well, there, then, I have—Armgard von Schilling over there, that I
told you about. She was much better-natured than either of us; she
hardly knew she was a von—she ate sausage-meat and talked
about her cows.”
“Oh, of course. There are naturally exceptions. Listen, Fräulein Tony.
You are a woman, you see, so you take everything personally. You
happen to know a single member of the nobility, and you say she is a
good creature—certainly! But one does not need to know any of
them to be able to judge them all. It is a question of the principle, you
understand—of—the organization of the state. You can’t answer
that, can you? They need only to be born to be the pick of
everything, and look down on all the rest of us. While we, however
hard we strive, cannot climb to their level.” Morten spoke with a
naïve, honest irritation. He tried to fit his speech with gestures, then
perceived that they were awkward, and gave it up. But he was in the
vein to talk, and he went on, sitting bent forward, with his thumb
between the buttons of his jacket, a defiant expression in his usually
good-natured eyes. “We, the bourgeoisie—the Third Estate, as we
have been called—we recognize only that nobility which consists of
merit; we refuse to admit any longer the rights of the indolent
aristocracy, we repudiate the class distinctions of the present day, we
desire that all men should be free and equal, that no person shall be
subject to another, but all subject to the law. There shall be no more
privilege and arbitrary rule. All shall be sovereign children of the
state; and as no middlemen exist any longer between the people and
almighty God, so shall the citizen stand in direct relation to the State.
We will have freedom of the press, of trade and industry, so that all
men, without distinction, shall be able to strive together and receive
their reward according to their merit. We are enslaved, muzzled!—
What was it I wanted to say? Oh, yes! Four years ago they renewed
the laws of the Confederation touching the universities and the
press. Fine laws they are! No truth may be written or taught which
might not agree with the established order of things. Do you
understand? The truth is suppressed—forbidden to be spoken.
Why? For the sake of an obsolete, idiotic, decadent class which
everybody knows will be destroyed some day, anyhow. I do not think
you can comprehend such meanness. It is the stupid, brutal
application of force, the immediate physical strength of the police,
without the slightest understanding of new, spiritual forces. And apart
from all that, there is the final fact of the great wrong the King of
Prussia has done us. In 1813, when the French were in the country,
he called us together and promised us a Constitution. We came to
the rescue, we freed Germany from the invader—”
Tony, chin in hand, stole a look at him and wondered for a moment if
he could have actually helped to drive out Napoleon.
“—but do you think he kept his promise? Oh, no! The present king is
a fine orator, a dreamer; a romantic, like you, Fräulein Tony. But I’ll
tell you something: take any general principle or conception of life. It
always happens that, directly it has been found wanting and
discarded by the poets and philosophers, there comes along a King
to whom it is a perfectly new idea, and who makes it a guiding
principle. That is what kings are like. It is not only that kings are men
—they are even very distinctly average men; they are always a good
way in the rear. Oh, yes, Germany is just like a students’ society; it
had its brave and spirited youth at the time of the great revolution,
but now it is just a lot of fretful Philistines.”
“Ye—es,” Tony said. “But let me ask you this: Why are you so
interested in Prussia? You aren’t a Prussian.”
“Oh, it is all the same thing, Fräulein Buddenbrook. Yes, I said
Fräulein Buddenbrook on purpose, I ought even to have said
Demoiselle Buddenbrook, and given you your entire title. Are the
men here freer, more brotherly, more equal than in Prussia?
Conventions, classes, aristocracy, here as there. You have sympathy
for the nobility. Shall I tell you why? Because you belong to it
yourself. Yes, yes, didn’t you know it? Your father is a great
gentleman, and you are a princess. There is a gulf between you and
us, because we do not belong to your circle of ruling families. You
can walk on the beach with one of us for the sake of your health, but
when you get back into your own class, then the rest of us can go
and sit on the rocks.” His voice had grown quite strangely excited.
“Morten,” said Tony, sadly. “You have been angry all the time, then,
when you were sitting on the rocks! And I always begged you to
come and be introduced.”
“Now you are taking the affair personally again, like a young lady,
Fräulein Tony, I’m only speaking of the principle. I say that there is
no more fellowship of humanity with us than in Prussia.—And even if
I were speaking personally,” he went on, after a little pause, with a
softer tone, out of which, however, the strange excitement had not
disappeared, “I shouldn’t be speaking of the present, but rather,
perhaps, of the future. When you as Madame So-and-So finally
vanish into your proper sphere, one is left to sit on the rocks all the
rest of one’s life.”
He was silent, and Tony too. She did not look at him, but in the other
direction, at the wooden partition. There was an uneasy stillness for
some time.
“Do you remember,” Morten began again, “I once said to you that
there was a question I wanted to ask you? Yes, I have wanted to
know, since the first afternoon you came. Don’t guess. You couldn’t
guess what I mean. I am going to ask you another time; there is no
hurry; it has really nothing to do with me; it is only curiosity. No, to-
day I will only show you one thing. Look.” He drew out of the pocket
of his jacket the end of a narrow gaily-striped ribbon, and looked with
a mixture of expectation and triumph into Tony’s eyes.
“How pretty,” she said uncomprehendingly. “What is it?”
Morten spoke solemnly: “That means that I belong to a students’
fraternity in Göttingen.—Now you know. I have a cap in the same
colours, but my skeleton in the policeman’s uniform is wearing it for
the holidays. I couldn’t be seen with it here, you understand. I can
count on your saying nothing, can’t I? Because it would be very
unfortunate if my father were to hear of it.”
“Not a word, Morten. You can rely on me. But I don’t understand—
have you all taken a vow against the nobility? What is it you want?”
“We want freedom,” Morten said.
“Freedom?” she asked.
“Yes, freedom, you know—Freedom!” he repeated; and he made a
vague, awkward, fervent gesture outward and downward, not toward
the side where the coast of Mecklenburg narrowed the bay, but in
the direction of the open sea, whose rippling blue, green, yellow, and
grey stripes rolled as far as eye could see out to the misty horizon.
Tony followed his gesture with her eye; they sat, their hands lying
close together on the bench, and looked into the distance. Thus they
remained in silence a long time, while the sea sent up to them its soft
enchanting whispers.... Tony suddenly felt herself one with Morten in
a great, vague yearning comprehension of this portentous something
which he called “Freedom.”
CHAPTER IX
“It is wonderful how one doesn’t get bored, here at the seashore,
Morten. Imagine lying anywhere else for hours at a time, flat on your
back, doing nothing, not even thinking—”
“Yes. But I must confess that I used to be bored sometimes—only
not in the last few weeks.”
Autumn was at hand. The first strong wind had risen. Thin, tattered
grey clouds raced across the sky. The dreary, tossing sea was
covered far and wide with foam. Great, powerful waves rolled silently
in, relentless, awesome; towered majestically, in a metallic dark-
green curve, then crashed thundering on the sand.
The season was quite at an end. On that part of the beach usually
occupied by the throng of bathers, the pavilions were already partly
dismantled, and it lay as quiet as the grave, with only a very few
basket-chairs. But Tony and Morten spent the afternoon in a distant
spot, at the edge of the yellow loam, where the waves hurled their
spray as far up as Sea-gull Rock. Morten had made her a solid sand
fortress, and she leaned against it with her back, her feet in their
strap shoes and white stockings crossed in front of her. Morten lay
turned toward her, his chin in his hands. Now and then a sea-gull
flew past them, shrieking. They looked at the green wall of wave,
streaked with sea-weed, that came threateningly on and on and then
broke against the opposing boulders, with the eternal, confused
tumult that deafens and silences and destroys all sense of time.
Finally Morten made a movement as though rousing himself from
deep thought, and said, “Well, you will soon be leaving us, Fräulein
Tony.”
“No; why?” Tony said absently.
“Well, it is the tenth of September. My holidays are nearly at an end,
anyhow. How much longer can it last? Shall you be glad to get back
to the society of your own kind? Tell me—I suppose the gentlemen
you dance with are very agreeable?—No, no, that was not what I
wanted to say. Now you must answer me,” he said, with a sudden
resolution, shifting his chin in his hands and looking at her. “Here is
the question I have been waiting so long to ask. Now: who is Herr
Grünlich?”
Tony sat up, looking at him quickly, her eyes shifting back and forth
like those of a person recollecting himself on coming out of a dream.
She was feeling again the sense of increased personal importance
first experienced when Herr Grünlich proposed for her hand.
“Oh, is that what you want to know, Morten?” she said weightily.
“Well, I will tell you. It was really very painful for me to have Thomas
mention his name like that, the first afternoon; but since you have
already heard of him—well, Herr Grünlich, Bendix Grünlich, is a
business friend of my father, a well-to-do Hamburg merchant, who
has asked for my hand. No, no,” she replied quickly to a movement
of Morten’s, “I have refused him; I have never been able to make up
my mind to yield him my consent for life.”
“And why not?—if I may ask,” said Morten awkwardly.
“Why? Oh, good heavens, because I couldn’t endure him,” she cried
out in a passion. “You ought to have seen him, how he looked and
how he acted. Among other things, he had yellow whiskers—
dreadfully unnatural. I’m sure he curled them and put on gold
powder, like the stuff we use for the Christmas nuts. And he was
underhanded. He fawned on my Father and Mother and chimed in
with them in the most shameful way—”
Morten interrupted her. “But what does this mean: ‘That trims it up
uncommonly.’”
Tony broke into a nervous giggle.
“Well, he talked like that, Morten. He wouldn’t say ‘That looks very
well’ or ‘It goes very well with the room.’ He was frightfully silly, I tell
you. And very persistent; he simply wouldn’t be put off, although I
never gave him anything but sarcasm. Once he made such a scene
—he nearly wept—imagine a man weeping!”
“He must have worshipped you,” Morten said softly.
“Well, what affair was that of mine?” she cried out, astonished,
turning around on her sand-heap.
“You are cruel, Fräulein Tony. Are you always cruel? Tell me: You
didn’t like this Herr Grünlich. But is there any one to whom you have
been more gracious? Sometimes I think: Has she a cold heart? Let
me tell you something: a man is not idiotic simply because he weeps
when you won’t look at him. I swear it. I am not sure, not at all, that I
wouldn’t do the same thing. You see, you are such a dainty, spoilt
thing. Do you always make fun of people that lie at your feet? Have
you really a cold heart?”
After the first giggle, Tony’s lip began to quiver. She turned on him a
pair of great distressed eyes, which slowly filled with tears as she
said softly: “No, Morten, you should not think that of me—you must
not think that of me.”
“I don’t; indeed I don’t,” he cried, with a laugh of mingled emotion
and hardly suppressed exultation. He turned fully about, so that he
lay supporting himself on his elbows, took her hands in both his, and
looked straight into hers with his kind steel-blue eyes, which were
excited and dreamy and exalted all at once.
“Then you—you won’t mock at me if I tell you—?”
“I know, Morten,” she answered gently, looking away from him at the
fine white sand sifting through the fingers of her free hand.
“You know—and you—oh, Fräulein Tony!”
“Yes, Morten. I care a great deal for you. More than for any one else
I know.”
He started up, making awkward gestures with his arms, like a man
bewildered. Then he got to his feet, only to throw himself down again
by her side and cry in a voice that stammered, wavered, died away
and rose again, out of sheer joy: “Oh, thank you, thank you! I am so
happy! more than I ever was in all my life!” And he fell to kissing her
hands. After a moment he said more quietly; “You will be going back
to town soon, Tony, and my holidays will be over in two weeks; then I
must return to Göttingen. But will you promise me that you will never
forget this afternoon here on the beach—till I come back again with

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