Alan wickers ,"","nickers ","","","","","","she had a lovely pair of nickers "

Adam and Eve = believe = as in "would you Adam and Eve it?"

Almond Rocks = socks

Apples and pears = stairs

Aris = Aristotle = bottle & glass = arse (a two-stage rhyme) [see Plaster
below]

Artful Dodger = lodger

Ascot Races = braces

Aunt Joanna = piano

Bag of fruit = suit

Baked Bean = queen

Baker's Dozen = cousin

Ball and Chalk = walk

Barnaby Rudge = judge

Barnet = Barnet Fair = hair

Berk or Burk = Berkshire Hunt = cunt (used as an insult, never as an

anatomical reference)

Boat = boat race = face

Bob Hope = soap

Boracic (freq. contracted to brassic) = boracic lint = skint (i.e. penniless)

Bottle = bottle and glass = arse (i. e. courage; Courage also happens to be
the name of a brewery)

Brahms = Brahms and Liszt (classical composers) = pissed (i.e. drunk)

Brass Tacks = facts

Bread or bees and Honey = money

barney rubble ,"","trouble ///// You are in serious barney rubble "

Bricks and Mortar = daughter

bubble bath ,"","laugh ","","","","",""," u are having a bubble bath"

brown bread ,"","dead","","","","","","he is brown bread"

bricks and motor ,"","daughter ","","","","","",""

bread and cheese ,"","sneeze ","","","","","","no it makes me sneeze "

Battle Cruiser ,"","Boozer ","",""Me And The Lads Are Going To The Battle Cruiser "

Bristol = Bristol City = titty (i.e. breast)

Brown bread = dead

Bubble = Bubble & Squeak = Greek

Butcher's = butcher's hook = look

custard and jelly ,"","television ","","","","","","turn on the telly "

cows and kisses ,"","misses","","","","","","means wife or girlfriend "

Chalfonts = Chalfont St Giles = piles (i.e. haemorrhoids)

Chalk Farm = arm

China = china plate = mate

Cobblers = cobblers' awls = balls or 'bollocks' (i.e. testicles , but usually

meant in the sense of 'rubbish' as in "You're talking a load of cobblers")

Cock and Hen = ten

Creamed = cream crackered = knackered (i.e. exhausted or beaten)

Currant bun = sun or The Sun newspaper

Daisies = daisy roots = boots

Darby and Joan = moan

Dicky = dicky dirt = shirt

Dicky or Dickie = dickie bird = word = as in "not a dickie", or even "not a

dickie bird"

Dog = dog and bone = phone

Duck and Dive = skive

Ducks and Geese = F--k-in' Police

Duke of Kent = rent

Dukes = Duke[s] of York = fork, i.e. hand, now chiefly when balled into a fist

Dustbin Lid = kid

elephantΓÇÖs trunk ,"","drunk ","","","","","",""

Emmas = Emma Freud (English author and columnist) = haemorrhoids

Farmers = Farmer Giles = piles (slang for haemorrhoids )

Flowery Dell = ( prison ) cell

Frog = frog & toad = road

firmanΓÇÖs hose ,"","nose","","","","","",""

George Raft = draught

Ginger = ginger beer = queer

Gregory = Gregory Peck = neck, or cheque

Gypsy's = Gypsy's kiss = piss

Hampsteads = Hampstead Heath = teeth

Hampton Wick = prick (i.e. penis)

Half-inch = pinch (i.e. steal)

I suppose = nose

Jack = Jack Jones = alone ("On my Jack" = "On my own")

Jam jar = car

Jam tart = heart

J. Arthur = J. Arthur Rank (1930s UK flour magnate and film producer) =

wank (i.e. masturbate)

Jimmy = Jimmy Riddle (unknown person, not the character killed during the
Waco siege)= piddle or widdle (urinate)

Jugs = jugs of beer = ears

Khyber = Khyber Pass = arse

Kick and Prance = dance

Lady Godiva = fiver (i.e. five- pound note)

Lionels = Lionel Blairs (English variety performer) = flares (as in flared

trousers)

Loaf = loaf of bread = head ("use your loaf")

Lucy Lockett = pocket

Mickey Bliss = piss (as in "take the Mickey" = "take the piss" = satirise)

Minces (or mincers) = mince pies = eyes

Mutton = Mutt and Jeff = deaf = named after Mutt and Jeff , two early 20th
century comic strip characters

Nobbies = Nobby Stiles (English footballer) = piles (haemorrhoids)

North and South = mouth

Oily rag = fag (i.e. cigarette)

Ones and twos = shoes

Orchestras = orchestra stalls = balls (Orchestra stalls = part of a concert or

other hall. Example = "A kick in the orchestras.") [Coincidentally, "orchi-" is
also the Greek root meaning "testicle."]

Peckham Rye = tie (i.e. necktie)

Pen and Ink = stink

Pigs ears = big beers (large glasses of Ale )

Plaster = Plaster of Paris = Aris = Aristotle = bottle = bottle and glass =

arse (a three-stage rhyme)

Plates = plates of meat = feet

Porky = pork pie = lie, e.g. "He's telling porkies!"

Pony = pony and trap = cra

ruby Mary ,"","cury"

trouble and strive ,"","wife