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12 F e b r u a r y 2 016 / F r e e e v e r y F r i d ay

F E AT U R E

The inside story of


the most talked about
album of the year
1
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A YEAR.
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Hello...
K ANYE WEST THE
conqueror. Kanye West the
plonker. It says a lot about
the way that Yeezy splits
opinion that he’s nominated
as both Hero and Villain
Of The Year at this week’s NME
Awards with Austin, Texas.
Me, I’m in the Hero camp –
mainly because I think his first,
second, fifth and sixth albums are Young Thug p27
utterly brilliant and partly because I
like how much he gets on people’s
tits. I’m excited about this new
COVeR sTORY F e aT U R e s
record for both reasons.
My favourite Kanye thing recently
was the brilliantly ludicrous theory
that David Bowie’s ‘The Rise
16 22 25 Nathaniel
And Fall Of Ziggy Stardust And
The Spiders From Mars’ foretold
Kanye West Love songs Rateliff
the birth of Yeezus. The words The build-up to Yeezy’s Celebrate – or commiserate – The barnstorming singer-
‘K.West’ on the cover; the hotter-than-hell new album this Valentine’s Day with our songwriter on how he stopped
opening track ‘Five Years’ in forensic detail cupid-approved playlist moping and started moving
predicting the end of the world;
seCTiONs
Kanye being born five years later.
It all fits. Okay, it doesn’t really,
but it’s a nice link from one widely
recognised musical masterpiece
5 27 38
to a man who has announced his
own to the world. Don’t go ch-ch- ReGUlaRs
ch-changing, KW.
10 Katherine Ryan 12 Things We Like
Mike WilliaMs
Editor-in-Chief
14 What’s On Your Headphones? 37 Under The Radar
@itsmikelike 46 Soundtrack Of My Life
C OV ER ph OtO : pl a n E t ph OtOs

editoriaL Editor-in-Chief Mike Williams PA To Editor-in-Chief Karen Walter (Ext 6864) Deputy Editor Tom Howard (Ext 6866) Digital Editor Charlotte Gunn (Ext 6108)
Commissioning Editor Dan Stubbs (Ext 6858) New Music Editor Matt Wilkinson (Ext 6856) Senior News Reporter David Renshaw (Ext 6877)
News Reporters Luke Morgan Britton (Ext 6863), Nick Levine Writers Leonie Cooper, Jordan Bassett, Larry Bartleet, Alex Flood
Creative Director Simon Freeborough, Designer Dani Liqueri (Ext 6884) Pictures Rachel Billings, Caroline Jeffrey
110 S o uth wa r k S t Production Hub Director Sue Smith Sub-Editors Gemma Birss, Jennifer Bradly, Michael Darling, Colin Houlson, Samantha Kistamah, Jo Lodewyke, Julia Newcomb
Lo n d o n Online Producer Jo Weakley (Ext 6909) With help from Sam Moore, Tom Smith, Barney Hammond Illustrations Studio Moross
S e1 0 S u a dv e r t i S i n g Group Advertising Director Romano Sidoli PA To Group Advertising Director Kelly Litten (Ext 2621) Head Of Market, Music Andrew Minnis (Ext 4252)
TEL 020 3148 + Ext Brand Manager Matthew Chalkley (Ext 6722) Creative Media Manager Benedict Ransley (Ext 6783) Display And Labels Senior Sales Executive Steve Woollett (Ext 2670)
Display And Live Senior Sales Executive Freddie Bunn (Ext 2662) Ad Production Manager Barry Skinner (Ext 2538) Head Of Project Management Lizzie Hempshall (Ext 6726)
P u b Li S h i n g Production Operations Director Richard Hill (Ext 5422) Production Manager Tom Jennings (Ext 5448) International Licensing Manager Bianca Hamilton-Foster (Ext 5490)
Marketing & Events Executive Charlotte Treadaway (Ext 6779) Publisher Ellie Miles (Ext 6775) Publishing Director Jo Smalley Managing Director Paul Cheal Time Inc CEO Marcus Rich
© Time Inc. (UK) Ltd Reproduction of any material without permission is strictly forbidden LEGAL STUFF: NME is published weekly by Time Inc. (UK) Ltd, 8th Floor, Blue Fin Building, 110 Southwark Street, London SE1 0SU. NOT FOR RESALE.
All rights reserved and reproduction without permission strictly forbidden. All contributions to NME must be original and not duplicated to other publications. The editor reserves the right to shorten or modify any letter or material submitted.
Time Inc. (UK) Ltd or its associated companies reserves the right to reuse any submission, in any format or medium. Printed by Polestar Sheffield. Origination by Rhapsody. Distributed by IPC Marketforce. © 2016 Time Inc. (UK) Ltd.
Subscription rates: one year (49 issues): UK £36; Europe 70 Euros; North America $77; rest of world £50. For subscription enquiries, please call +44 (0) 33 0333 1133 or email help@magazinesdirect.com.

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WhAT EvERyonE’s TA lk ing AboUT This W EEk

Coldplay:
the super Bowl
spectacular was
From this...
seen by more than
100 million viewers

Chris Martin ushered in

w o r d s : d a n s t u b b s P H o t o s : d e r e k b r e m n e r / n m e , g e t t y i m a g e s , Pa i m a g e s
the next summer of love
(l-r): Beyoncé, at the super bowl. next
Chris Martin, stop? brixton and the
Bruno Mars nME Awards 2016
with Austin, Texas

L ast sunday, CoLdpL ay


thrilled an audience of more than
100 million with their staggering
super Bowl half-time show. Chris
Martin and co brought fireworks,
neon flowers, Beyoncé and
Bruno Mars to san Francisco’s

To this! Levi’s stadium, cramming six of


their songs into the 13-minute
spectacular. By the end, people
were trying to work out if the
colour on their telly had gone
funny as the crowd in the stands
Coldplay spelt out ‘Believe in love’ in
bring some rainbow placards.
love to Brixton so where do you go from there?
Well, to Brixton – specifically to the
o2 academy Brixton on February
17, where Coldplay will close the
nME awards 2016 with austin,
texas after collecting their well-
deserved Godlike Genius award.
Missed out on tickets? Follow
the ceremony live on nME.com,
including Coldplay’s set, plus
performances from Foals, Rat Boy,
the Maccabees and Bring Me the
Horizon. tune in from 8.30pm.

5
Beyoncé brings protest
music back Beyoncé’s single ‘Formation’ – released
by surprise last weekend – is a stunning
celebration of black cultural identity and

1 Messy Mya
The track opens with the voice
of comedian and YouTube star
an anthem for the Black Lives Matter
movement. Here are the key points

Messy Mya (real name Anthony


Barre), who asks, “What happened
after New Orleans?”. Mya was
3 Blue ivy
Beyoncé and
Jay-Z’s four-year- 5 “stop sHooting us”
The graffitied words “Stop
shot and killed in the city in 2010 old daughter isn’t shooting us” reference the Black
and his murderer has not been just there to look Lives Matter movement, formed in
brought to justice. cute. As the response to high-profile instances Zayn Malik
camera focuses on of black men – such as Mario One Direction’s best

2 Hurricane Katrina
Filmed entirely in New
Orleans, the Formation video
her, Beyoncé sings:
“I like my baby hair, with baby
hair and afros /I like my Negro
Woods – being killed by US police
officers. The day before the video
was released, Jay-Z’s Tidal
position in the US Hot 100:
Number Two. While former
member Zayn’s ‘Pillowtalk’
is bookended with footage of nose with Jackson Five nostrils.” streaming service donated $1.5m has gone to Number One.
Beyoncé sitting atop a sinking New to the charity. Two days after
Orleans Police Department patrol
car. The US government and
authorities were widely criticised
4 Bounce Music
The video incorporates clips
from The B.E.A.T, a short 2012
it came out, Beyoncé’s guest
appearance at the Super Bowl saw
her backed by dancers imitating
for not doing enough to help documentary about bounce, the Black Panthers, a civil rights
African-American victims of a frenetic type of hip-hop that organisation from the 1960s.
Hurricane Katrina, which emerged from LGBT communities Jordan Bassett
devastated and flooded the in New Orleans in the early 1990s.
poorest areas of the city in 2005. Lady Gaga
The gloriously weird singer
surprised the US with her
national anthem at the
Super Bowl – she played
it totally straight.

Beyoncé’s
new video
Jessie J
The Bang Bang warbler
was shot down on Twitter
after claiming she’s “one

G E T T Y I M A G E S , S K Y, N M E / J O R D A N H U G H E S , F O X , R E D / S H U T T E R S T O C K
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in America.

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in Birmingham tonight, leaving the UK
a quivering wreck, we’re giving you
Quentin
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Turns out the guitar the

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A signed guitar could be
the chance to win a one-off souvenir.
At the Manchester show on Saturday
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6
Jack Garratt: he’ll make
make you dance,
whether he likes it or not

safety net of a job, but then I


realised that I was scared of
28ft
The record-breaking height
failing. I moved to London and of Ben Stiller’s selfie stick
lived a room with no windows, at the London premiere of
and locked myself away and Zoolander 2. That’s eight-
taught myself to write songs. One and-a-half metres, for kids
night I was doing a gig and I was who can’t read good.
having a big down moment

Behind
because nothing seemed to be
going right. And this guy came up
at the end of my set and invited
me for a meeting and he ended
up being the guy who’s now my

the beard
manager and signed me.”

He’s a loner
(in a good way)

With his debut album ‘Phase’ out next week and a BRIT
award to follow, Jack Garratt’s poised for superstardom.
“I work best alone because I get
to throw sh*t at walls and as I’m
the only one in the room it’s not
£82m
The amount that The
But what about his trainee-teacher past? And why does he embarrassing that I’ve got sh*t on Beatles’ legacy brings
like getting sh*t on his hands? David Renshaw finds out… my hands. I get nervous when I’m into Liverpool each year,
around other people because the according to a new report.
The BRIT Awards mean a He has a bee in his bonnet ideas I have are a bit wild. I was
lot to him, which is a relief about people thinking he’s in a couple of bands, though. I
as he’s won the BRITs appeared out of nowhere played trombone in a ska-core
Critics’ Choice Award “It makes me sad. [The haters] know band when I was about 16.”
“[As a child] I’d get really excited,” nothing about me to assume that
he says. “I remember looking at the because I come from where I do You can dance to his
clock and thinking, ‘OK, only an hour [Little Chalfont] I’m privileged. I work music, but you’re not
until I get to go home and then it’s the hard at this. Someone’s integrity really meant to…
BRITs’.” Of winning the accolade, shouldn’t be defined by whether “I hate clubs. I much prefer sitting
previously awarded to Ellie Goulding they wanted to kill themselves.” down and having a conversation.
and James Bay, he says: “There’s a I went to clubs when I was at uni $200K

Dan harris, re x
lot of pressure because of people He’s a teacher-training and it always felt like a school The value of an Oscars
who’ve won it in the past. Adele and school dropout disco. I love it when people have goodie bag, which includes
Sam Smith didn’t become world- “When I was 16 or 17 I started to a good time, but I don’t use four a boob job, a walking tour
class musicians overnight just travel into London and do acoustic to the floor as a cheap trick to get of Japan and a sex toy.
because they were given this award. shows. I was training to be a people dancing – I use it to evoke Knee-trembling.
They worked really hard.” teacher because I wanted the an emotion out of them.”

8
best album
supported
by

Wolf Alice Grimes Kendrick Lamar


My Love Is Cool Art Angels To Pimp A Butterfly

Tame Impala The Maccabees Foals


Currents Marks To Prove It What Went Down

all titles on CD, vinyl or download at

/hmv @hmvtweets

home of entertainment
while stocks last.
of f th e tV an d in
yo ur fa ce

This week

Susan Sarandon’s

p h o t o : b e l l a h o w a r d. s t y l i n g : J e n M i c h a l s k i - b r ay. h a i r & M a k e - u p : F i o n a e u s ta c e . d r e s s b y M i M i t r a n . b e lt b y s a i n t
cleavage The Secret Life Of Marilyn Monroe.
But because she’s a woman, that

l a u r e n t. r i n g s b y M a i o c c i a n d d i n n y h a l l & s w a r o v s k i . e a r r i n g s b y d i n n y h a l l . a d d i t i o n a l p h o t o s : g e t t y
gets Daily Mail-ified into something

P
iers Morgan like ‘Desperate 69-Year-old Mother
sparked the best of Three audaciously Leaves the
and most confusing House With some of Her Body
firestorm on Twitter showing’. Ms sarandon wore a
last week when he white suit and under that she wore
made a comment a black bra that peeked out. i’ve
about susan sarandon’s cleavage. seen this look on Jennifer aniston
i’m often asked for my views on and i’ve worn it myself. it’s tailored
Mr Morgan; i don’t know what the and chic! But on this occasion, the
connection is, except maybe we’re internet Was noT HaVing iT.
both outspoken? We both have irish online, men and women lashed
dads? i guess they ask because it’s out, one calling the display of
expected my answer will be that cleavage ‘raCK-DiCULoUs’,
Piers Morgan is a smug, bloated, others deciding Ms sarandon
tabloid-spawning, ham-faced, should know better at her age.
nefarious, prying miscreant. others sided with the actress
although i do think he resembles by pointing out that a woman so
David Cameron (he could play him accomplished should do and wear
in a movie or something), i’ve got whatever the f*** she likes.
nothing against the man. He’s Piers Morgan threw his opinion
quite funny and he’s had beef with
Jeremy Clarkson. Hear THis,
into the didn’t-ask-for-it heap and
declared the outfit inappropriate
“a woman so
reaDer: any enemy of Jeremy
Clarkson is a friend of mine.
on the grounds that Ms sarandon
presented the sag ‘in Memoriam’
accomplished
susan sarandon, the BaFTa-
and academy award-winning
tribute to the stars Hollywood lost
in the past year. He reasoned that
should wear
actress, UniCeF goodwill
ambassador and humanitarian,
if you wouldn’t wear it to a funeral,
then it was improper for this too.
whatever the
attended The screen actors guild
awards in La, where she was
The thing is, i would wear this
outfit to a funeral. Because you
f*** she likes”
nominated for an outstanding know who cares very little about
Performance award for a her role in tits? Dead people. They’re
notoriously difficult to offend.
We are all guilty of unconscious
bias and this is absolutely an
example of ageism. We live in
a society where a 69-year-old’s
pair of boobs cause more scandal
and another thing...
than two poisonous bags of H oW a re PeoPLe sTiLL just creeps me out. rita ora just
silicone stuffed into an 18-year- working with Terry richardson? did a shoot with him, appearing
old’s chest muscle and stitched allegations of sexual assault topless, squatting, grabbing
just outside her beating heart. aside, his style of photography her crotch, sucking her
Twitter responded to Mr Morgan is as follows: turn on a big bright finger, oh, and licking
in the most peculiar way. Women light, get a woman as naked as richardson’s face. Then i
from all over the world began possible and shoot. This is punk saw pictures from a job he
sending him photos of their own rock, man! He uploads short did with The Weeknd.
cleavage as… punishment? i hate videos of models dancing to But that dude
to say it, but we just can’t resist his Vimeo channel Terry TV, got to keep his
a selfie. Ladies, stand down! if appears in the clips and credits clothes on…
you really want to wind up Piers himself as the director. He often
Morgan, send him a pic of Jeremy cameos in his own photography
Clarkson. now there’s a right tit. sessions and his vibe in those

10
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VENETIAN SNARES MICHAEL BROSS JOSEPHINE FOSTER FLOWERS


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12
YOUR T OW N . YOU R MU S I C. YOU R S T Y L E

Charlotte McCiurg ›
22, NHS worker

Listening to:
LONDON GRAMMAR
Flickers
“It’s quite chilled. Heavy
music isn’t great for getting
on with day-to-day stuff.”
THIS WEEK
Wearing: Topshop coat,

Leeds Zara top, H&M jeans,


TK Maxx shoes.
Best thing about Leeds:
“The food scene. I’ve lived
here for four years now
and I’m still finding new
places to go.”

‹ Sonny Harrison
29, PhD student

Listening to:
MASTODON
Hearts Alive
“It’s quite proggy – it’s winding,
twisting and great to listen to
“The Garden while you’re walking because it
Gate is an keeps your interest.”

old-school Wearing: Zara jacket,


boozer and Next shirt, Pulp jeans, Dr
Martens boots.
it’s great for

Ben Bentley
Best thing about Leeds:
a decent pint” “The BrewDog bar. It’s massive
and they have tons of beer.
They also have loads of cool
1950s American bar games.”

Mike Denham ›
28, music teacher

Listening to:
Alexander Rennie › TOOTS AND THE
42, software engineer MAYTALS
Never You Change
Listening to: “I saw them live at The
HINDS Cockpit. They were old,
Garden but still good.”
“I really dig the 1960s girl
group, lo-fi vibe. It’s a great Wearing: Barbour jacket,
way to start an album.” vintage shirt, jumper from
a charity shop, H&M jeans,
Wearing: TK Maxx coat and Dr Martens shoes.
scarf, vintage hat and gloves, Best thing about Leeds:
Lennon glasses, Topman “The Brudenell Social Club
corduroy trousers. is probably the best music
Best thing about Leeds: venue in the city.”
“The Garden Gate – it’s an
old-school boozer and a great For the full gallery
place for a decent pint.” head to NME.com

14
F
KEAAT
N YUERW
E EST

MAKING A
MASTERPIECE

In 2013, Kanye West became a father.


In 2014, he got married.
In 2015, he announced he’d be running for President.

Now he’s calling his brand-new LP


“the greatest album of all time”.
Larry Bartleet asks how he got there
16
1
F E AT U R E

June 15, 2013


Kanye’s fiancée Kim Kardashian
gives birth to their first child,
daughter North West, three days
before the release of the 36-year-
old’s sixth album ‘Yeezus’. It’s his
best yet – a brutal, revelatory and
self-contradictory game-changer
that debuts at Number One on the
iTunes chart in 31 countries.

JuLy 19, 2013


Angered by the presence of the
press, Kanye grabs a paparazzo’s
camera at LAX. The criminal
charges include 250 hours of
community service. The following
month, in a televised interview
with Kim’s mother Kris Jenner, he
suggests fatherhood has changed
his outlook. “With the press, it’s
almost like an agenda to write me
into a certain type of story… I have
two people to live for – a family to
live for. A whole world to live for.”

Oct 30, 2013


After six dates, Kanye’s ‘Yeezus’
tour – which includes a 50-foot
mountain-turned-volcano, ‘snow’
flurries, troupes of masked dancers
and a ‘white Jesus’ – is postponed
after a truck carrying its 60-foot
LED screen and custom-made
video truss crashes. A statement
says, “Kanye West will not
compromise on bringing the show,
as it was originally envisioned and
designed, to his fans.” The tour
later resumes in mid-November.

nOv 24, 2013


Kanye reveals that he’s already
started work on his seventh
album, hoping to put it out before
summer 2014 – a deadline that
will eventually be pushed back
by more than 18 months. In that
time Evian Christ, Malik Yusef,
Travis Scott and P Diddy will claim
involvement in its production.

Dec 4, 2013
At Miami’s Art Basel fair, Kanye
discusses taking part in national
art competitions aged 14.
“Sometimes I actually forget that,”
he says. “Except for when I tour
and I look back at the stage and
say, ‘Wait a second, I forgot this
was the whole trick I pulled on
everyone to make them think I was
a rapper, a musician or celebrity
when the entire time it’s all been
a giant art project.’” He adds that
he plans his seventh album to be
as refined as ‘Yeezus’, with only
eight songs. The final tracklisting
eventually has 11 songs,
divided into three ‘acts’.

2
17
KANYE WEST

Mar 25, 2014 Feb 20, 2015


Kanye announces, then almost The album is “80 per cent done”,
immediately cancels, a European Kanye says on US radio station
tour and later postpones his Power 105.1. Its contents, he says,
Australian tour from May to are “bars, songs, cookout music
September – saying in a statement that just feels good. My last album
that the decision has been made was a protest to music… this
to allow him to finish album album is embracing the music.”
seven, which is still “scheduled Just over a week later, Kanye

p h o t o s : e r o t e m e .c o. u k , f o x 5 , g e t t y i m a g e s , i n f p h o t o.c o m , j o r d a n h u g h e s / i n s ta g r a m , k i m k a r d a s h i a n / i n s ta g r a m , k a n y e w e s t/ i n s ta g r a m , r e x f e at u r e s , w i r e i m a g e
for a 2014 release”. tweets what ends up being the first
of four album titles for his seventh
May 24, 2014 record – ‘So Help Me God’.
Kanye marries Kim Kardashian
in Florence, Italy, almost a year Feb 25, 2015
after the birth of North West. The At the BRIT Awards, Kanye debuts
week-long proceedings include stand-alone single ‘All Day’ and
a pre-wedding party in Versailles, puts the UK’s grime scene in
France, with a fairytale-style horse the spotlight, surrounded by a
and carriage and a photobooth. 40-strong crew of British MCs
including Stormzy, Skepta and
July 20, 2014 Novelist. Writing for NME, Wiley
Kanye reveals that his priorities praises his patronage: “Kanye
are constantly shifting between his came in and helped my scene
family, his fashion line with Adidas make it.” The following week, while
and his music. Discussing the new he’s in London, rumours circulate
album with GQ, he says, “I was that Kanye has spent studio time
thinking it could somehow come with “King of Grime” Skepta, who
out in June, like ‘Yeezus’, and just he referred to by name during his
kill it for the summer. But then I’m BRITs performance.
like, I have to work on Adidas and
be with my child.” March 15, 2015
Kendrick Lamar’s third studio album
Dec 31, 2014 ‘To Pimp A Butterfly’ is released
‘Only One’, Kanye’s collaboration – an inventive examination of race
with Paul McCartney, is released and class in America. The next
– a message to North West from day Kanye tweets, “KENDRICK
the perspective of Kanye’s late IS AN INSPIRATION. THANK
mother Donda. It’s Kanye’s first YOU FOR THE VIBRATIONS AND
new song in 18 months. THE SPIRIT. YOUR MEANING,
MESSAGE AND EXECUTION ARE
Jan 24, 2015 GIFTS TO THE WORLD.” Some
‘FourFiveSeconds’, a guitar-led interpret this tweet as a sign that
collaboration with Paul McCartney Kanye is rethinking the release
and Rihanna, is released as a date of ‘So Help Me God’.
single. Kanye announces he is
executive-producing Rihanna’s april 25, 2015
eighth album, which he says Caitlyn Jenner, who was married to
‘FourFiveSeconds’ will feature Kim Kardashian’s mother Kris from
on. A week before the release of 1991 to 2015, comes out publicly
Rihanna’s album ‘Anti’ on January as transgender. She reveals how
28 2016, she tells a fan this is no instrumental Kanye was in helping
longer the case, saying, “We’re her stepdaughter Kim accept
both working on our own projects the transition. Kanye later calls
right now!” Over the next year, the event “one of the strongest
Kanye will be kept busy with his things that have happened in our
fashion line, his growing family existence as human beings”.
and, of course, his own album.
May 3, 2015
Feb 12, 2015 Kanye alters the title of his seventh
At New York Fashion Week album to ‘SWISH’. “I might change
for the launch of his first footwear it again,” he tweets, “but that’s the
and clothing line with Adidas name now”. Almost eight months
– Yeezy Season 1 – Kanye debuts later, he renames it ‘Waves’ a
‘Wolves’, a yowling Sia/Vic Mensa fortnight before its official release
collaboration that will go on to – but when wife Kim conducts a
feature on his seventh album. Twitter poll in February 2016 about
On September 16, at Yeezy the potential album names, first
Season 2, he reveals another title ‘So Help Me God’ comes out
album track – the house- on top, with 46 per cent
influenced ‘Fade’. of nearly 500,000 votes.

18
CATCH A CONCERT
FROM A
PADDLEBOARD.
Sounds Great!
Music can come from anywhere around Austin, even on the
shores of Lady Bird Lake or in front of a food truck!

Book now at ba.com or through the British Airways app.


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F
KEAAT
N YUERW
E EST

June 27, 2015


Kanye headlines Glastonbury. Just
West
five days after the announcement
in March, 100,000 people signed
is best?
What famous people
a petition to remove him from the say about Kanye:
bill. The set is big and bold and the
only props are a briefly-used crane Mumford & Sons’
booth and a stage-wide lighting rig Marcus Mumford:
that moves around as he performs. “I think Kanye is sick. He’s
Mid-set, he’s interrupted by the only rock star left.”
prankster Lee Nelson.
Justin Bieber: “You get
August 31, 2015 him in a room and he starts
Six years after interrupting Taylor talking and ranting. He’s
Swift’s MTV VMAs acceptance been through a lot of stuff
speech, Kanye is presented with and he’s not just talking to
the Video Vanguard Award by talk, he has something to
Swift. He says, “I have decided in say from his heart. I just
2020 to run for President.” Hillary sit and listen because
Clinton later says she wouldn’t rule he’s really smart.”
out his being her Vice President.
Caitlyn Jenner: “I’ve been
Dec 13, 2015 impressed by his open-
Just over a week after the birth of mindedness. I think he’s
his son Saint West, Kanye tweets, helped Kim to come to
“I’m asking everyone DON’T ASK terms with all this.”
ME FOR ANYTHING TILL AFTER Feb 2, 2016
I’M FINISHED WITH MY ALBUM. Kanye tweets to mitigate his “album Kim Kardashian: “Even if
I’m finishing my album and my next of the life” claim, acknowledging the there’s a project that I’m not
collection.” Two months later he’ll giants whose shoulders he stands working on with Kanye, I
debut the album, still known as on. “Out of respect for Q-Tip, Puff, always get his input. I value
‘SWISH’, at the launch of his new Hov, Lauren, Pharcyde, Mary, his opinion. There’s no one
fashion collection, Yeezy Season 3. Stevie, Michael, Hendrix, James, more creative in my eyes.”
Pete Rock, Pac, Marvin,” he writes,
JAn 8, 2016 “this new album is ONE of the David Crosby: “He can’t
Kim Kardashian announces the greatest albums not the greatest write, sing, or play at all.
return of Kanye’s weekly music just one of… So many musicians He is an egomaniac. He is
giveaway G.O.O.D. Fridays. Only touch my life and made me who dumb as a post.”
two tracks are released this way: I am. I want to make something
‘Real Friends’, on January 8, and great to honor my idols.” Blur’s Graham Coxon:
‘No More Parties In LA’ on January “He’s a f***ing idiot, isn’t
18. The latter is delayed because Feb 4, 2016 he? Does he even make his
Kanye has to attend a fitting for Enthusing about his new album, own albums?”
his fashion line in Italy, Kim says Kanye writes on Twitter, “It was
in a series of tweets: “He flew always a dream to have a listening Barack Obama:
[producer] Noah [Goldstein] out party at Madison Square Garden. “Kanye’s music is
with him so he could finish “No It was always a dream to show outstanding. I’ve got a lot
More Parties In La” & wrote 90 my collection at Madison Square of his stuff on my iPad.”
bars on the plane there!!!” Garden. On February 11th these
dreams come true.” Three days Kendrick Lamar:
JAn 25, 2016 later, on February 7, he changes “I’m yelling Mr Kanye
Kanye reveals the tracklisting for his mind about the record’s name West for President.”
‘SWISH’, and a day later changes again, tweeting, “There may be a
the title to ‘Waves’. He tweets, “So new secret album title.” The next Foals’ Yannis Philippakis:
happy to be finished with the best day he tweets a clue – ‘T.L.O.P.’ “I don’t think he’s the
album of all time. This is not album greatest living rock star,
of the year. This is album of the life.” Feb 11, 2016 but I don’t know who
Rapper Wiz Khalifa accuses Kanye Kanye’s seventh album is debuted is, so maybe he could
of nabbing Max B’s signature term at the Yeezy Season 3 launch be. He’s definitely a damn
‘wavy’. Kanye then hits out at Wiz with Adidas. But this is after NME sight more exciting than
and his ex Amber Rose, mother goes to press and if there’s one a lot of people.”
of Wiz’s son. Rose responds with thing we know about Kanye, it’s
allegations about Kanye’s sexual that he’s unpredictable. He could Rihanna: “Who wouldn’t
preferences, using the hashtag have decided to scrap the whole vote for Kanye? I’m really,
#FingersInTheBootyAssBitch; project. He could have snatched really elated with his [MTV
Kanye denies it. A few days thunder back from Beyoncé by VMAs] speech.”
later, Kim and Amber Rose putting it out a day early. For all we
post a shared selfie. Kanye says know, it could have been retitled Kanye West:
he’s made up with Wiz, tweeting ‘Fingers’. Whatever the “I’ve reached a moment in
“Great convo. All positive”. case, it won’t be boring. life where my Truman Show
boat has hit the wall.”

4
20
EVERY STREET IS
ITS OWN MUSIC
FESTIVAL.
Sounds Great!
Take a walk down 6th Street, Red River, Rainey Street or
South Congress and you’ll get a pretty good idea of why
®
we’re called the Live Music Capital of the World !

Book now at ba.com or through the British Airways app.


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sinéaD
o’connor
Nothing Compares
2 U 1990

What you’re trying to say:


I am stuck on the first stage
of grief – denial.
What it does: Written
by Prince, Sinéad’s aDeLe
emotive rendering of Someone Like You 2011
the song is arguably
the most moving What you’re trying to say:
portrait of romantic I have achieved stage five of
desolation ever to grief – acceptance.
reduce the charts to What it does: The ultimate
a sobbing wreck. break-up track, Adele’s torch
Gooiest moment: “All song offers the comforting
the flowers that you thought that you can just
planted, mama, in the replace a much-missed
back yard / All died partner with a similar one.
when you went away” Gooiest moment: “I’d hoped
you’d see my face and that
you’d be reminded / That for
me it isn’t over”. I hope you’re
reading this, Jessica.

Making a
Valentine’s mix
for your loved one?
DaviD Bowie One of these tracks
Heroes 1977 should help you the
say what you Beach BoYs
What you’re trying to say: God Only Knows 1966
You and me are totally epic. really feel…
What it does: Inspired by What you’re trying to say:
seeing his producer Tony It’s U+ME 4EVA
Visconti snogging a What it does: A clever ruse.
backing vocalist by the Yeah Yeah “I may not always love you”
Berlin Wall, Bowie’s paean Yeahs sings Brian Wilson, while his
to the redemptive qualities Maps 2003 wife presumably spat
of romantic love is earth- her coffee across the
shatteringly self-important. What you’re trying to say: room, “but as long as
Gooiest moment: I miss you *crying face* there are stars above the white

P H O T O S : G E T T Y, C A M E R A P R E S S , R E X F E AT U R E S , W I R E I M A G E
Bowie’s closing vocal What it does: It’s the ultimate you, you never need stripes
roars. Best enjoyed ode to the long-distance to doubt it”. Brian, Fell In Love With
while standing through yearn. Singer Karen O cried you angel-voiced A Girl 2001
a sunroof. real tears in the video because tease, you.
her boyfriend failed to show up Gooiest moment: What you’re trying to say:
W O R D S : J O R D A N B A S S E T T, M A R K B E A U M O N T.

to the shoot and she was due When all eight vocals I’m so terrifically excited
to set off on tour straight after. overlap majestically about our new love I might
Gooiest moment: “Wait… at the end. wet myself.
they don’t love you like I What it does: This one
love you” captures the euphoric rush
of teenage hormones
in a giddy garage
rock belter, like a
shot of E numbers
to the heart.
Gooiest moment: Which
lovestruck fool has never
thought “the two sides of my
brain need to have
a meeting”?

26
lOVe sOnGs

Justin
arctic MonkeYs tiMBerLake
Mardy Bum 2006 Mirrors 2013

What you’re trying to say: What you’re trying to say:


I do still love you, but… I’m in it for the long haul.
What it does: Mid-row, What it does: Part emo
Alex Turner remembers the Lana DeL reY power ballad, part funk-tinged
golden early days before his Video Games 2010 R&B track, this eight-minute
girlfriend’s face of an angel love fest was inspired by
turned to a permanent face What you’re trying to say: the marriage of
of thunder. You pay more attention to Timberlake’s own
Gooiest moment: the man from GTA4 than Queens of grandparents.
“Remember cuddles in you do to me. the stone age Gooiest
kitchen / Yeah, to get things What it does: Del Rey’s debut Make It Wit Chu 2007 moment: After
off the ground” – the buzziest internet video the strings,
of its time thanks to its retro What you’re trying to say: ‘Mirrors’ breaks
movie clips and Olympic- I love you, let’s do it. into repetitive
level pouting – is a lushly What it does: A song about rap-come-
orchestrated tale of being undivided devotion – like all chanting of
taken for granted. good love songs – but with the ultimate
Gooiest moment: The a rock’n’roll twist, this is by declaration “You
demurely crooned line far the most thrillingly sleazy are the love of
“Heaven is a place on earth entry on the list. my life”.
with you”. Gooiest moment: Josh
Homme’s falsetto reach in the
chorus is a heart-melter.

the cure
Friday I’m Love 1992

What you’re trying to


say: Got any plans for the
weekend?
What it does: Captures that the sMiths
light-on-your-feet feeling of There Is A Light That Never
being in love. Gloom-pop king Goes Out 1986
Robert Smith was as surprised
as we were that he’d written a What you’re trying to say: I
sunny pop song. “[I thought] am a passionate and dramatic
‘I can’t possibly have come up person and I would probably
with this’,” he has said. die for you. Maybe.
Gooiest moment: The What it does: Indie’s most
rather stalkery line “It’s romantic statement had
LcD such a gorgeous sight Morrissey preferring to be
sounDsYsteM to see you eat in the killed in a variety of roadside
Someone Great 2007 middle of the night”. pile-ups with his lover rather Bright eYes
than ever have to get dropped First Day Of My Life 2005
What you’re trying to say: off for his tea, alone.
Look, we can still be friends, Gooiest moment: “If a What you’re trying to say:
yeah. Yeah? double-decker bus crashes You complete me.
What it does: Even though into us / To die by your side is What it does: Quite a lovely
this is a break-up song, such a heavenly way to die” sentiment to this acoustic
it sounds like a couple ditty: the first day you met that
of synthesizers having a special someone, that was
meet-cute in a Williamsburg when your life truly began.
basement and making Literally true only for mayflies.
little Casios. Gooiest moment: “Yours is
Gooiest moment: “We’re the first face that I saw /
safe for the moment, saved I think I was blind
for the moment” before I met you”

23
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N AT H A N I E L R AT E L I F F

the nat
in the hat
nathaniel rateliff swapped winsome
singer-songwriter-ing for rabble-rousing
boogie woogie-ing with his band
The Night Sweats – and won. He tells
leonie cooper the need-to-know stuff

On their explOsive
live shOws
“Live performance is how someone who’s
fallen in love with an album really gets
to take it in. I aim to have the energy of
Otis Redding – which is hard, because
I’m not in very good shape – mixed with
a southern, sort of twangy, sound. You
need energy and the right amount of
drinks, which is just a couple. Mine’s
a bourbon and water.”

On his fOrmer
career as a fOlk
singer-sOngwriter
“I was making Leonard Cohen and Townes
Van Zandt-type stuff and upbeat acoustic On releasing their
Americana. Back then I’d just be standing debut On legendary
still at shows, but I danced at the first label sta x
Night Sweats show and immediately “My label Concord took over the
people went crazy. Who knew?” catalogue for Stax, so we asked if we
could put the record out through them Nat-ional
On the bOOze- and we got it to work. Stax and Motown
Express
induced breakdOwn were home to soul and R&B. Stax had
that inspired Otis Redding, Sam & Dave and Isaac see nathaniel rateliff
breakthrOugh Hayes – and now us.” & the night sweats
sOng ‘sOb’ live here
“I was in London, staying at a friend’s On wOndering whO
the libertines
Ph otos : G l en Ross, sc ot t el l iso n

house. I’d screwed up a bunch of stuff Feb 12 Leeds


back home because I’d been drinking were at Later… Irish Centre
too much. So I quit, but I went into With JooLs hoLLand Feb 13 Nottingham
withdrawal and had delirium tremens.” “I thought, ‘Those guys seem like Rock City
real f*ck-ups for a new band!’ Someone Feb 14 Oxford
On britne y spears then had to tell me that they’d been O2 Academy
using their single around for a while. One of the singers Feb 15 Birmingham
‘sOb’ tO sOundtrack just came out of their dressing room O2 Institute
an instagram and mumbled something I couldn’t Feb 16 London O2
striptease understand in my ear. I don’t know if Forum Kentish Town
“She tagged me in it! I was like, what?! I they smoked heroin in their green room… Mar 7 Brighton
don’t know why she used our song – but The Weeknd was also on and said, Concorde 2
I appreciate it! I thought it’d be fun to ‘F*cking great song,’ to us.” Mar 9 Bristol
respond, so I got a bra and a blonde wig O2 Academy
and did some slo-mo dances as well.” Mar 10 Manchester
The Ritz
Mar 11 Glasgow
O2 ABC

25
IN LYNCHBURG, TENNESSEE, YOU CAN
BUY ALL KINDS OF JACK DANIEL’S SIGNS.
BUT NOT A DROP OF JACK DANIEL’S.
You might be surprised to know that we make Jack Daniel’s in a dry county. When Prohibition wass
repealed in 1933, folks in Moore County decided to stick with it for a while… and a while hass
lasted right up to the present day. So should you decide to visit us at some point, you’ll find anyy
number of Jack Daniel’s-themed items to take to your friends back home. You just won’t be able too
buy them any of Mr. Jack’s namesake whiskey. Please be aware, though, that while you can’t buy a
bottle of Old No. 7 here in Lynchburg, there is absolutely no law against enjoying some. In fact, with
our neighbors being as friendly and welcoming as they are, it’s almost a guarantee that you will..

JACKDANIELS.COM
WET COUNTY OR DRY, PLEASE DRINK RESPONSIBLY.
©2016 Jack Daniel’s. All rights reserved. JACK DANIEL’S and OLD NO. 7 are registered trademarks.
Music, filM, T V, gaMes aND More – This week’s esseNTi al Ne w rele ases

Dark metal:
Deftones

BEST FOR
SLACKING OFF
BEST FOR A STEphEN MALKMuS
BLACK MOOD & ThE JICKS
DEFTONES Come As You Are
Prayers/Triangles Recorded last June at
The US metal heroes are a festival in Portland,
back with a supercharged Pavement man
track that swings between Malkmus’s just-
melodic verses and BEST FOR BEST FOR unearthed rendition of
gut-wrenching choruses. BOuNCING DOING ThE the Nirvana classic has
BACK hOOVERING a sad, beat-up air about
BEST FOR YOuNG ThuG pARquET COuRTS it. It’s touching.
DINING BY F Cancer (Boosie) Dust
CANDLELIGhT Released as a tribute to Evidently the Brooklyn BEST FOR
CAT’S EYES fellow rapper Boosie guitar noodlers had SOCKING IT
Chameleon Queen Badazz, who recently everyone fooled with TO ThE MAN
Real life couple Faris recovered from surgery their last release, the ShEER MAG
Badwan (frontman of for cancer, ‘F Cancer impenetrable ‘Monastic Can’t Stop Fighting
The Horrors) and Rachel (Boosie)’ is a gloriously Listening’. On ‘Dust’, taken You wait ages for a decent
Zeffira (operatic solo star) unlikely feelgood anthem. BEYONCé from new album ‘Human political song and two
channel their inner Serge The video, featuring Performance’, they sound come along at once. ‘Can’t
Gainsbourg and Jane him in pink scrubs, is chirpy, melodic and utterly Stop Fighting’ is Philly
Birkin on this sultry, pretty incredible, too. vital once more. And it’s punks Sheer Mag tackling
Parisian-flavoured beauty. literally about dust. everything from hometown
BEST FOR troubles to Mexican
BEST FOR pOGOING LIKE BEST FOR BEST FOR maquiladora murders.
2016 FESTIVAL IT’S 1977 ShOwING ’EM SCARING ThE Essential listening.
SINGALONGS CROwS whO’S BOSS NEIGhBOuRS
SpRING KING Whisper BEYONCé LET’S EAT GRANDMA
Rectifier There’s a hint of Sex Formation Deep Six Textbook
The most promising UK Pistols’ guitar maniac This surprise-release, These Norwich teens are
indie band of 2016 have Steve Jones in the serrated politically charged, like the evil twins from The
ShEER MAG
just signed a major record licks of ‘Whisper’, by Wolf visually striking return is Simpsons – a little bit
deal and released this, their Alice’s best mates Crows. fierier than anything witchy, a bit mischievous
invigoratingly full-on new If you’re a fan of Ellie Beyoncé’s ever done and totally badass.
single. It’s set them up for Rowsell and co, it’s worth and melodically it’s right Musically we’re getting
a monster year. checking them out. up there with her best. Lorde vibes, which is no For more new music,
Queen Bey still reigns. bad thing either. go to NME.com

27
A L BU
M
OF T
HE
W E EK

sunflower Bean:
nick kivlen,
Julia Cumming and
Jacob faber

New York
City rocks
The badass trio whose riff-heavy
sound fuses Led Zeppelin, The Cure
and Tame Impala

on gambolling rocker ‘Come On’ kinda feeling’), or settling into the


Sunflower we’re introduced to the band’s off-kilter harmonies of ’2013’.
Bean love of a dramatic mood change. they’re quite something,
Human Ceremony When the pair swap roles on the and not just a two-person show.

W O R D S : B e n H O m e W O O D , L O u i S P at t i S O n , a L e x F L O O D , m a R k B e a u m O n t
★★★★
InDIe GlaM HaIr
shimmering Haimy ‘Easier said’
– which comes with a chorus
tailor-made for festival
Drummer Jacob faber is the key to
keeping the whole thing together
and his taut snare work is what
season – they take us keeps the trio from floating off into
to a place of chilled- the stratosphere, especially when

PH OtOS : J O R Da n H u g H eS, n i c k gO u g H, R e x , g e t t y i m ag eS
On first lOOk at out pop bliss. kivlen decides it’s time for a guitar
sunflower Bean, you Elsewhere, they’re wig-out, as on ‘Creation Myth’.
might think Bob Dylan as adept at whipping Yet despite such talent, the
had dropped in on out rasping Marc Bolan three twenty-somethings from
Debbie Harry and vocals (kivlen is Brooklyn lack confidence. “What
formed a band with obviously a fan) on do you do when you’re stuck
frank Zappa. as awesome as that brooding psych-jam ‘space between days, and your days can’t
sounds, this new York trio are Exploration Disaster’, ripping into keep up with your days?” sings
actually better. and on their debut stage-crumbling garage rock (‘this Cumming over kivlen’s jangly ode
album ‘Human Ceremony’, they to lazy teen life ’i Was Home’.
fuse led Zeppelin’s raunchy riffs later they’re stressing over the
with the blissful mid-80s indie of fleeting nature of youth on ‘Wall
felt, the best bits of 80s alt-pop Watcher’ – a tense, restless
(the Cure) and krautrock (neu!) track full of anxious lines like
and, in front-duo Julia Cumming “Where did the time go? / It gets
and nick kivlen, have the kind of faster as we go”.
boy-girl chemistry last seen in it’s exciting that they don’t
the White stripes. know how good they are.
But that’s not all. When it’s even more exciting how
kivlen’s crunchy fretwork is set THe Cure leD ZePPelIn
much more they have to give.
against Cumming’s fragile croon Alex Flood

28
F E AT U R E

Time to bloom
Indie-poppers Flowers are equal parts blissed out and moody
Also out
this week
radar, but now is undoubtedly combines the feedback
flowerS their time to bloom. showtunes of Magnetic fields’
Everybody’s Dying to stretch the obvious ‘Distortion’ with touches of early
To Meet You metaphor further, if rachel Breeders. ‘How Do You Do’

★★★
InDIe-PoP SuICIDe BeeS
kenedy’s gossamer voice –
recalling Elizabeth fraser of
the Cocteau twins,
mingles the gnarled beauty of
the Wedding Present and My
Bloody Valentine to both savage
Hazel Wilde of and saccharine effect. ayres
lanterns On the goes at ‘russian Doll’ and first
WHEn MOllY lake and the future single ‘Pull My arm’ like twitter at
rankin of Canadian wife that Belle and a bus racist. Kula SHaKer
band alvvays opened sebastian fans hear as with so many albums of K 2.0
her cherubic gullet in in their dreams rough-edged delicacy, it’s built ★★
2014, entreated archie – sounds soft as a on deep-seated discontent and ‘k 2.0’ features
to take her briskly up petal, guitarist sam self-esteem issues. “How terrible cover art of an eight-armed
the aisle and wafted gently to the ayres adds grungy thorns and am I to wish upon my senseless deity and kicks off with a song
top of the Us college charts like there’s enough pure melodic tragedy? But I can’t help my titled ‘infinite sun’ in which singer
dandelion spores floating over a nectar in the 10 songs on second awful mind,” kenedy sings on Crispian Mills wibbles on about
swamp of matted beards, she album ‘Everybody’s Dying to ‘intrusive thoughts’, while the flying “like an eagle”. it falls short
opened the window to a fresh Meet You’ to single-handedly lemonheady ‘My Only friend’ of the sense of spiritual wonder
gust of fragile, romantic indie save the bees. at its most cute, refers to herself and ‘Bitter Pill’ to to which they aspire.
pop smelling of C86, sarah on the sublime ‘intrusive the bottleful she’s considering
records, chunky knitwear, hair thoughts’, it’s a gauzy roll in necking down on the train tracks. MavIS STaPleS
slides and the Cardigans. it’s a summer hay, but when the Best appreciate flowers before Livin’ On A
heady blast of fresh pop air to guitars start to scowl it quickly their garlands turn to wreaths. High Note
some, the stench of a crumbling turns from fey to feral. ‘tammy’ Mark Beaumont ★★★★
sewage works to others, but the r&B legend hires
among the first on the breeze songwriters including nick Cave,
come london’s flowers, musical Justin Vernon and aloe Blacc for
kin to allo Darlin’, the Pains Of a groove-heavy and strikingly
Being Pure at Heart and the pop happy 14th album. if you dig
end of nu gaze. their Bernard staples’ historical commentary,
Butler-produced 2013 debut ‘Do tuck into that back catalogue.
What You Want to, it’s What You
should Do’, not having Emeli el GuInCHo
sandé on it, drifted under the Hiperasia
★★
Once signed to
Young turks, home to fka
twigs and Jamie xx, El
Guincho’s star has faded of late.
this underwhelming fourth
album (released by Everlasting)
sees Pablo Díaz-reixa swap
tropical beats for a grating take
on dancehall.

THe wave
PICTureS
A Season In Hull
★★★
recorded live, acoustic, on one
microphone in one day (singer
Dave tattersall’s birthday),
this 15th Wave Pictures album
bristles with charming indie-
folk, country and blues intimacy,
even on a Gorky’s-esque small
town lament called ‘thin lizzy
live and Dangerous’.

read the full reviews of


flowers: rachel kenedy, these and many more
Jordan Hockley albums on nMe.com
and sam ayres

29
Dead fun
It’s not quite the superhero film revolution we were
promised, but it sure as hell is entertaining

Ryan Reynolds plays


DEADPOOL ‘super-antihero’
15 Ryan Reynolds, Deadpool
Ed Skrein, Morena
Baccarin, TJ Miller

★★★★
MARVEL SUPERHEROES RUDE

WE’RE SuppOSED TO
think that Deadpool isn’t like
other superhero films featuring
a popular character from
Marvel comic books. That’s
the message pummelled
home by its witty and inventive
marketing campaign and Ryan
Reynolds’ recent revelation
that it took 11 years to get this
film made. According to the
actor, Twentieth Century Fox
honchos were only persuaded
to give the film the green light
after test footage leaked and
fans responded with feverish
anticipation. Events take a fairly
In truth, Deadpool doesn’t predictable course. Wilson
really revolutionise the fears Vanessa won’t find him
superhero movie, but it could attractive any more, so he
be risqué and brazen enough reinvents himself as a masked
to give the genre a shot in the antihero called Deadpool
arm. The plot follows Reynolds’ as he tracks down Ajax, the
special forces operative turned only person who can reverse
mercenary Wade Wilson as he’s his deformities.
diagnosed with terminal cancer The film’s action sequences
shortly after falling for Vanessa aren’t as thrillingly violent as
(Homeland’s Morena Baccarin), you might expect, but its sense
a fellow badass mercenary of fun is definitely infectious.
who can match him quip for Director Tim Miller keeps the
quip. petrified of death, Wilson pace brisk as Reynolds, clearly
agrees to subject himself to having a blast, delivers an
an experimental regenerative endless succession of meta
mutation treatment performed references, knowing in-jokes
by a sadistic mutant called Ajax and super-crude innuendo,
(Game Of Thrones’ Ed Skrein). often breaking the fourth wall.
As promised, the treatment rids “I’m touching myself tonight,”
him of cancer and gives him he winks at us after taking
superpowers, but Wilson is left out a series of adversaries.
hideously disfigured. When he Deadpool’s wise-cracking
reveals his ravaged face to best charisma comes at the expense
mate Weasel (Silicon Valley’s of other characters, some of
TJ Miller), his friend tells him whom are thinly drawn, but
drily: “You are haunting. You this is probably a price worth
look like an avocado had sex paying. Deadpool is a stylishly
with an older avocado.” salty antidote to bloated recent Deadpool won’t be shown in
superhero movies like last year’s China as censors realised by
Avengers: Age Of Ultron. the time they’d edited out all
Nick Levine the violence, profanity and sex,
there’d be no story left.

30
Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson
ramp up the pout factor

Ryan Zoolander
Reynolds rides again
& TJ Miller
The stars of Deadpool A flimsy plot doesn’t hamper the sequel’s daft appeal
discuss warped creativity
chased through Rome and then, in
How does this compare to ZOOLANDER 2 a moment destined to be GIF-ed
other superhero films? 12A Ben Stiller, Owen for eternity, shot to bits in front of
Ryan: “I’m not sure there’s Wilson, Penélope Cruz Sting’s house. For reasons that
any comparison between
Deadpool and any comic
book movie ever made.”
★★★
MODELS CAMEOS THROWAWAY
will later become almost clear,
the only person who can stop
all this is former model Derek
TJ: “The only movie that Zoolander (Stiller), currently in like squeaky-clean popstrel
compares is Blade Runner. hiding following the death of his Ariana Grande popping up as
Or Mad Max – the first one.” ZOOl AnDeR WAS nEVER wife. He’s tempted over to Rome an orgy participant in a gimp
R: “He lives within the X Men a great movie but it is beloved. – as is his old friend Hansel (Owen mask, but less so when it’s just
universe, but he doesn’t Released in 2001 and roundly Wilson), for less clear reasons – a famous flung on the screen
operate the way any X Men ignored at the box office, it was and they help a sexy Interpol agent without reason, like Joe Jonas
have ever operated before. an uneven ragtag of sketches (penélope Cruz) uncover a fashion having a bit of a sit-down.
He’s kinda a pain in their ass.” that barely constituted a plot, but conspiracy. Honestly, it all sort of It’s fun and throwaway and
TJ: “He’s a super-antihero within it were enough quotable makes sense at the time. very much in the spirit of its
instead of a superhero.” lines and clever jokes about the Like the first film, Zoolander 2’s predecessor. unlike most
ridiculousness of the male model’s jokes are hit-and-miss, although fashions, if you’re old enough
Lots of people were lot that it gained a second life on this time it relies less on well- to remember it from first time
gasping at the preview… DVD. It’s now been 15 years, about written lines and more on famous around, then you’ll probably
R: “That’s all TJ Miller. His the average age of your beginner people dropping in for a few want to give it another whirl.
warped mind.” catwalk model, and Zoolander’s seconds. These cameos are funny Olly Richards
TJ: “I’m glad it was drawing ready for another strut. A sequel when the star is cast against type,
gasps. Ryan had some ideas never seemed necessary but
that were too over-the-top fashion isn’t about necessity
to be included in the movie. – it’s about spending lots of
That was a fun run where we money on frivolity.
got to riff back and forth.”
R: “It’s like being in an
To justify the sequel,
Ben Stiller, who stars,
Also out this week
f o x , c o l u m b i a p i c t u r e s , pa r a m o u n t p i c t u r e s

enchanted forest – he’s the directs and writes, has


unicorn and you get to slap it conjured something every
on the ass and watch it go.” bit as daft as the first
TJ: “Ryan thought Weasel film’s plot to assassinate
should say to Deadpool, ‘You the Malaysian president
look like a trucker took a sh*t with fashion. The world’s CONCUSSION A BIGGER SPLASH
on your shoulders and then best-looking popstars are 12A Will Smith, Alec Baldwin, ★★★★
shaped ears on either side.’ being murdered. We open Gugu Mbatha-Raw 15 Tilda Swinton, Ralph Fiennes,
That did not make the cut.” with Justin Bieber being ★★★ Dakota Johnson
R: “We tried Shrek...” The true story of a nigerian forensic As Marianne (Swinton), a rockstar,
TJ: “...Katharine Hepburn, the pathologist Bennet Omalu (Smith), is recovering from surgery with her
whole gamut. It was a really who took on the national Football boyfriend (Matthias Schoenaerts)
dynamic riffing session.” League to prove that repeated on an Italian island, the peace is
R: “Sh*tting On The knocks to the head were causing shattered by the arrival of old flame
Shoulders Of Giants, an Read the full reviews of severe brain trauma in players. Harry (Fiennes) and his newly
autobiography by Ryan these and many more Based on a 2009 GQ article, it’s discovered daughter (Johnson).
Reynolds and TJ Miller.” films on NME.com a fascinating story but one better The tension builds until it’s clear
Nick Levine suited to being read than watched. something terrible has to happen.

31
#gettofopp
fopp stores
bristol college green // cambridge sidney st //
edinburgh rose st // glasgow union st & byres rd //
london covent garden // manchester brown st //
nottingham broadmarsh shopping centre
F E AT U R E

Swot up on ’70s
New Yorwk
Dive into this lot in
preparation for Vinyl

R E A D
JuSt KiDS
Patti Smith (2010)
Smith’s spellbinding
autobiography
traces her rise to
punk stardom and
offers insights into the murkier
areas of the 1970s NY art scene.
What it’ll learn ya: That the
New York punks were grimy, all-
inclusive – and really just kids.

L I S T E N
tRASh
The New York Dolls
(1973)
A forerunner to
punk, which wasn’t far behind,
this track perfectly conjures the
sleazier side of ’70s New York.
Polyester power: What it’ll learn ya: That the
the cast of Vinyl early ’70s weren’t all prog and
grown men talking about druids.

BlAnK

Gangs of New York


Martin Scorsese and Mick Jagger go punk in this humdinger based in 1970s NYC
GEnERAtiOn
Richard Hell and
The Voidoids (1976)
Arguably the National Anthem
of early US punk, it’s got the
lot – noisy guitars, drums, a guy
VinyL IS A 1970s NeW YoRk hometown to direct the pilot. shrieking about boredom.
Vin yl costume drama from people who The 10-episode series follows What it’ll learn ya: That NYC
Sky Atlantic, February 15 were actually there. Legendary the evolution of rock music, had its own version of ‘Pretty
Bobby Cannavale, Olivia ’70s shagger Mick Jagger from poseurs like The Who and Vacant’ and it was wicked.
Wilde, Ray Romano produces, it was created by New Led Zeppelin noodling about
1970S nEW yORK DRAinPiPES York native Terence Winter (the with guitars to the explosion of
brains behind Boardwalk Empire) androgynous cats in drainpipes W A T C H
and 43 years after the release of (New York Dolls, Patti Smith, The tAxi DRiVER
Bobby Cannavale his classic film Mean Streets, Ramones) smashing out shouty (1976)
(below) stars alongside Martin Scorsese returns to his three-chord punk masterpieces – Scorsese’s paranoid
Max Casella seen through the eyes of a record masterpiece is a
label president, played by the putrid study of the Big Apple,
super-handsome Bobby Cannavale. starring Robert De Niro as
r e d f e r n s , r e x / s H U T T e r s T O C K , s K Y AT L A n T I C

It’s got everything you’d expect a cabbie with a one-way ticket


from a Scorsese period piece – to a total psychotic breakdown.
itchy clothes, drugs, guns, violence, What it’ll learn ya: That 1970s
people sniffing coke and hurling NY was a breeding ground for
their heads back in wild abandon, scumbags and weirdos.
music execs enjoying hot XXX
action in the middle of the EnD Of thE
afternoon. Not to mention an unruly CEntuRy (2003)
underworld of poky New York dive The Ramones were
bars full of freaks and weirdos practically the house
wearing tiny leather jackets and band at legendary New York
jeans so tight you can see their venue CBGB. This documentary
lunch. Fans of gentle early morning tells their tale.
sitcoms will be delighted to see What it’ll learn ya: That
that Raymond from Everybody disenfranchised 1970s New
Loves Raymond is also in it. York youth could write great
Josh Burt songs inspired by glue sniffing.

31 33
Ilana Glazer and
Abbi Jacobson
play themselves in
Broad City

BroaD city
Wednesday, Comedy
Central (US), 10pm
Abbi Jacobson, Ilana
Glazer, Hannibal Buress
surreal Bffs weeD

Lessons from the city


Broad City is the best programme on TV about 20-something life in New York City. Series three
starts this week. Here’s what Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer’s escapades have taught us so far…
Do clean Don’t go shopping Don’t put DilDos Do have your
apartments in on a cocktail of in the Dishwasher phone on you
your unDerwear hallucinogenic As learned in: Series two, at all times
As learned in: Series one, painkillers episode four As learned in: Series two,
episode one As learned in: Series two, After Abbi gets her neighbour episode six
The girls are on a mission to get episode three Jeremy in bed, she decides to clean Tired of being “plugged into the
into a secret Lil Wayne gig. The When hallucinating that a big, his dildo in the dishwasher. When matrix all the time”, Abbi and Ilana
only thing stopping them is a lack blue tooth-like creature called it comes out melted, she goes out decide to leave their mobiles at
of funds. With a target of $200 (to Bingo Bronson is telling you to and finds one that looks the same, home and rollerblade to a dog
buy: tickets, weed, drinks), they buy manuka honey and granola thinking he’ll be none the wiser. wedding in the park. “If I had my
try everything from returning used or knock over the “earth-friendly Wrong. Jeremy can tell a “cheap phone right now, I’d Tinder the f*ck
office goods and bucket drumming cereals”, you should probably knock-off” from his “custom-made- out of all those beefcakes,” sighs
in Madison Square. Neither comes step away from the trolley. for-my-body” bit of kit. Abbi, shortly before skating into a
through, but the ad Ilana secretly Abbi learns the hard way pit and spraining her ankle. With
posted on Craigslist offering when, having had her wisdom the directions to the wedding on
“two Jewesses trying to make teeth removed and dosed the phone that’s at home, Ilana
w o r d s : r h i a n d a ly

a buck” does. All they have to do up on powerful painkillers, she has to use her wilderness skills
for the money is clean a stranger’s escapes Ilana’s care and goes to help her friend (she pretends
apartment for an hour. In their rampaging around Whole Foods to be a dog and tries to sniff out
underwear. While he watches with eyebrows drawn halfway the party). Meanwhile, Abbi lies
on. Pretending to be a baby. up her forehead. back, smokes some joints to ease
the pain and daydreams about
Elijah Wood and Mark Ruffalo.
insiDe amy unBreakaBle
schumer kimmy schmiDt

34
newmusic
field music
commontime
album of the month animal collective
painting with
bloc party
hymns
out now out now
19/02/2016

emma pollo
ck
in search of ha
rperfield
out now

the cult
hidden city
out now

night beats
nevermen who sold my generation
nevermen out now
out now

money
suicide songs
out now

wild nothing
life of pause
19/02/2016

diiv
is the is are
sunflower bean out now
human ceremony cavern of anti-
matter
out now void beats / invocati
on trex
19/02/2016
fopp stores
the fopp list
bristol college green
the get the lowdown on the best new music
in this month’s edition of the fopp list,
cambridge sidney st
edinburgh rose st
fopp free magazine in-store now glasgow union st & byres rd
london covent garden
list
while stocks last

manchester brown st
nottingham broadmarsh
shopping centre
F E AT U R E

YoU hE ARd iT hERE FiRsT

Porches
Resurrecting the house
love-in one gleaming
synthpop track at a time

P
leNtY oF ReCoRDS
have captured the
indie spirit of New York
City, from the lower
east Side squalor of
‘the Velvet Underground’ to the
Upper West Side prep of ‘Vampire Aaron Maine
Weekend’. ‘Pool’, the second album
from Porches (AKA Aaron Maine),
continues the lineage, capturing
the glow of the Big Apple at night.
Maine already lived in NYC
when he released his debut ‘Slow
Dance In the Cosmos’ in 2013, a
mix of wailing lo-fi guitars and
shimmering synths. the latter details
take the lead on ‘Pool’, helping
to steer Maine to “make Blood orange singer Dev Hynes BAsEd New York City
something that reflected my playing bass. “We’ve been hanging
experience [of the city]”. out and sharing music with each soCiAL @porches_hiii
After ‘Slow Dance…’ was other,” Maine says of their
released, Maine began listening to friendship. “We’ve been talking FACT Maine’s songs feature
house and electronic music with a about working on stuff together.” two recurring characters,
keener ear, and it was the ethos Porches’ future may be Franklin and Ronald, alter
behind those genres that really unwritten, but it’s not hard to get egos for his girlfriend
struck him. “I was reading about excited about the magic he’ll Greta Kline (AKA fellow
[house’s] origins of bringing people produce as he continues to up-and-coming songwriter
together and the idea of gathering explore both his music and his Frankie Cosmos) and
to dance. I thought it was such a surroundings. He’s a “psycho- himself respectively.
crazy, beautiful mission statement.” productive” discoverer – intent on
With influences like Frankie building his own refined world. BUY ‘Pool’ is out now via
Knuckles and Arthur Russell, Rhian daly Domino Records
‘Pool’ is a crisp, minimal but
dancefloor-worthy record. Mostly for more on porches, BE apart
recorded in Maine’s home, it’s his head to NmE.com Elegantly bouncing, Arthur
J ESS I CA L EH R M A N, E A I N K A N to R, G E t t Y

first proper attempt at production Russell-indebted synthpop


and marks something of a learning designed to lead you to the
curve for an inquisitive and heart of the dancefloor.
adventurous artist.
His creative restlessness
doesn’t stop with his own music,
though. In the future he’s keen
to produce for other people, as
well as get involved with some
collaborations. earlier this year,
Maine posted a video clip to his
Facebook page, which featured
noted NYC man about town and
ChromatiCs EmprEss of

37
1
Tame Impala
Fri 12 & Sat 13 Alexandra
THE 10 MOST IMPORTANT Palace, London
GIGS THIS W EEK
WHO : Perth psych five-
piece masterminded by
Kevin Parker. Last year they
shifted from fuzzy guitar
to woozy synth on third
album ‘Currents’.
WHY: They’re an entirely
different proposition live,
amping up their melodies
with a shamanic intensity.
Look out for ‘Half Full
Glass Of Wine’.
WHO’S SUPPORTING :
Fellow Aussies, synthy indie
trio Jagwar Ma, whose debut
‘Howlin’’ came out in 2013.
TICKETS : Sold out, but
available on secondary
ticketing sites for £55.

2
Foals
Fri 12 SSE Hydro, Glasgow
Sat 13 Arena, Manchester
Sun 14 Motion, Bristol
Tue 16 SSE Arena Wembley,
London

WHO : Oxford indie rock


five-piece fronted by Yannis
Philippakis, this week starting
out on their UK arena tour.
WHY: Their fourth album
‘What Went Down’ was one of
2015’s finest – and Foals are
possibly the best live band in
the country right now.
WHO’S SUPPORTING :
Manchester’s genre-mashing
indie quartet Everything
Everything, plus a DJ set from
lovable indie folks Peace.
TICKETS : £28.60-£39.50
from ticketmaster.co.uk

38
4
Suede
Fri 12 O2 Forum, London WHY: You get two sets:
Sun 14 O2 Academy & ‘Night Thoughts’ live, with an
Underground, Leeds accompanying feature film, and
a second set of ‘hits and treats’.
WHO : Alt-rock legends and 2015 WHO’S SUPPORTING : No
NME Godlike Genius award- details yet.
winners who’ve just released TICKETS : £31.35 from
seventh album ‘Night Thoughts’. ents24.com

3
Julia Holter
WHY: She’s a mesmerising
performer whose refined
melodies take a surprise
Mon 15 Oval Space, London bashing live.
Tue 16 Gorilla, Manchester WHO’S SUPPORTING :
DM Stith, a New York multi-
WHO : LA singer caught between instrumentalist who’s on Sufjan
Joanna Newsom’s spindly Stevens’ label Asthmatic Kitty.
experimentalism and Laurie TICKETS : £16.50-18.50 from
Anderson’s art pop. songkick.com

6
The Magic Gang
WHY: Their sun-kissed EP makes
it feel like August, not February.
Everybody needs that sometimes.
WHO’S SUPPORTING : No
details yet.
Mon 15 100 Club, London TICKETS : £11.11 from nme.com/
awards/tickets
WHO : Brighton indie quartet
that just want to confound your For tour news and live
expectations of them. reviews go to NME.com

5
Declan
McKenna
Mon 15 Barfly, London
WHY: His gigs so far have
WHO : A 17-year-old indie shown plenty of promise,
wunderkind from Hertfordshire earning him apt comparisons
who won Glastonbury Festival’s to early Jamie T.
Emerging Talent Competition WHO’S SUPPORTING : No
in 2015. Writes songs about details yet.
painkillers and corruption TICKETS : £8.60 from
in football. songkick.com

39
8
Mystery Jets WHO’S SUPPORTING :
Tue 16 Electric Brixton, London Indiepop duo Ekkah at
Thu 18 O2 Institute, Birmingham their London show, while in
Birmingham they’ll be joined by
WHO : London indie heroes Johnny Lloyd and Declan
who’ve just released fifth album McKenna (see p39).
‘Curve Of The Earth’, produced TICKETS : £15.95-£19.91 from
in their Stoke Newington studio. nme.com/tickets
WHY: As the title suggests,
their new material is cosmic in
scope and will feel even more

7
Spring King
so in these large spaces.

Fri 12 The Moon Club, Cardiff


Tue 16 100 Club, London WHY: Zane Lowe chose their
Wed 17 The Hope & Ruin, Brighton song ‘City’ as the first track to be
Thu 18 Bodega, Nottingham played on his show – the first on
Apple Music’s Beats 1 service
WHO : Buzz-backed, punky – back in June. They’re kind of
Manchester four-piece, brainchild a big deal.
of singer and drummer Tarek WHO’S SUPPORTING : Fews
Musa – who as producer also and, in London only, Beach Baby.
works with Gengahr and Trudy. TICKETS : £9.60 from dice.fm

10
Ezra Furman
WHO : A 29-year-old
gender-fluid Chicagoan who
wears dresses and pearl
necklaces onstage and sings
wryly about depression,
Mon 15 O2 Academy, Oxford recklessness and faith.
Tue 16 Glee Club, Birmingham WHY: See above.
Wed 17 Sheffield University WHO’S SUPPORTING : No
Union, Sheffield details yet.
Thu 18 Concorde 2, Brighton TICKETS : Brighton sold out;
£13.75-£14.30 elsewhere from
ents24.com

9
King Gizzard
WHO : Last year this septet put
out two brilliant, diverse records
– heavy psych album ‘Quarters!’
and folky noodler ‘Paper Mâché
Dream Balloon’.
And The Lizard WHY: They’re bonkers – read
their name again if you weren’t
Wizard sure – and live that makes for
Mon 15 Gorilla, Manchester a riotously fun show.
Tue 16 The Rescue Rooms, WHO’S SUPPORTING : No
Nottingham details yet.
Wed 17 The Fleece, Bristol TICKETS : £14.85-£17.16 from
Thu 18 Electric Ballroom, London nme.com/tickets

40
Best of the rest
Angel Haze Hinds
Tue 16 The Fleece, Bristol Mon 15 Junction, Cambridge
Tue 16 Norwich Arts Centre,
Beirut Norwich
Fri 12 The Roundhouse, London Wed 17 The Rescue Rooms,
Sat 13 Albert Hall, Manchester Nottingham
Thu 18 KOKO, London
Bill Ryder-Jones
Wed 17 Crescent WMC, York Hurts
Fri 12 Academy, Manchester
Cage The Elephant Sat 13 O2 Academy Brixton,
Fri 12 Bierkeller, Bristol London
Sun 14 The Rescue Rooms,
Nottingham Jess Glynne
Mon 15 Riverside, Newcastle Wed 17 Usher Hall, Edinburgh
Tue 16 QMU, Glasgow Thu 18 O2 Apollo, Manchester
Thu 18 O2 Academy, Liverpool
John Grant
!!! (chk chk chk) Fri 12 O2 Academy, Oxford
Sat 13 The Rescue Rooms,
Nottingham Kula Shaker
Sun 14 CCA, Glasgow Sat 13 Pavilion Theatre, Worthing
Mon 15 The Wardrobe, Leeds Mon 15 The ABC, Glasgow
Tue 16 Sound Control, Manchester Tue 16 O2 Ritz, Manchester
Wed 17 The Joiners, Southampton Wed 17 The Roundhouse, London
Thu 18 Alfie Birds & The Oobleck,
Birmingham Lissie PINS
Sat 13 O2 Academy, Oxford Fri 12 Bodega, Nottingham
Enter Shikari Mon 15 O2 Forum, London Sat 13 The Hug And Pint, Glasgow
Thu 18 O2 Academy, Glasgow Sun 14 The Ferret, Preston
Little Simz Mon 15 O2 Academy, Leicester
Floating Points Fri 12 Belgrave Music Hall, Leeds Tue 16 O2 Academy, Liverpool
Fri 12 Academy, Manchester Sat 13 The Deaf Institute, Wed 17 Oporto Bar &
Sat 13 Belgrave Music Hall, Leeds Manchester Restaurant, Leeds
Mon 15 The Garage, Glasgow Thu 18 The Albert, Brighton
Four Tet Tue 16 O2 Academy, Islington
Sat 13 The Roundhouse, London Wed 17 The Haunt, Brighton

Girls Names Marina And


Wed 17 The Boileroom, Guildford The Diamonds
Thu 18 Soup Kitchen, Manchester Tue 16 O2 Academy, Glasgow Sauna Youth
Wed 17 O2 Academy & Sat 13 The Forge, London Telegram
Underground, Leeds Fri 12 Chameleon Café Bar,
Thu 18 Academy, Manchester Sea Pinks Nottingham
Fri 12 The Shacklewell Arms, Sat 13 Soup Kitchen, Manchester
NZCA Lines London Sun 14 O2 Academy, Leicester
Fri 12 Headrow House, Leeds Mon 15 Blitz, Preston
Mon 15 Sticky Mike’s Frog Bar, Show Me The Body Tue 16 Broadcast, Glasgow
Brighton Fri 18 Electrowerkz, London Wed 17 Adelphi, Hull
Tue 16 The Pickle Factory, London Sun 20 The White Hotel, Manchester Thu 18 The Basement, York
Mon 21 Temple Of Boom, Leeds
Poliça White Denim
Hermione Shaw, Mon 15 Village Underground, Skream Mon 15 The Deaf Institute,
17, West Sussex London Sat 13 Liquid Rooms, Edinburgh Manchester
@HermioneShaw Tue 16 Islington Assembly Hall,
Public Service Broadcasting Slipknot London
Fri 12 OPEN, Norwich Fri 12 Genting Arena, Birmingham
Tame Impala Sat 13 First Direct Arena, Leeds Withered Hand
Fri 12 Alexandra Palace, Richard Hawley Mon 15 SSE Arena, Belfast Fri 12 The Hairy Dog, Derby
London Thu 18 The Baths Hall, Scunthorpe
“Because they have three Sunflower Bean
albums’ worth of gold for Savages Mon 15 Sneaky Pete’s, Edinburgh CLUB NME
R y O m i ta m u R a

me to dance badly to.” Thu 18 De La Warr Pavilion, Tue 16 Soup Kitchen, Manchester Iris Gold
Bexhill-on-Sea Thu 18 The Dome, London Fri 12 KOKO, London

For tour news and live reviews go to NME.com

41
FRI 29 JAN CARDIFF GREAT HALL SAT 6 FEB MANCHESTER ACADEMY
SAT 30 JAN SOUTHAMPTON O2 GUILDHALL MON 8 FEB LEEDS O2 ACADEMY
MON 1 FEB BRISTOL O2 ACADEMY TUE 9 FEB CAMBRIDGE CORN EXCHANGE
TUE 2 FEB NOTTINGHAM ROCK CITY THU 11 FEB LONDON O2 ACADEMY BRIXTON
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FRI 5 FEB GLASGOW BARROWLAND

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BECK’S BOTTLES
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NEWCASTLE 02 ACADEMY2
SUN 27 NOV
LIVERPOOL 02 ACADEMY2
WEDS 30 NOV
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THURS 01 DEC
SHEFFIELD 02 ACADEMY2
FRI 02 DEC
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A METROPOLIS MUSIC PRESENTATION

Tickets include a 50p donation to Teenage Cancer Trust (registered charity 1062559 in England and Wales, SC039757 in Scotland) except 12 February
7• 8 • 9 ju l y
p o r t u ga l
ers ary • lisbon,
• 10 anniv
f i r e
th

e ad • a r c a d e
r ad io h th e r s • p i x i e s
c h e m i c a l b r o m p a l a
t h e s a
and the sifetners
t i o n a l
• ta m e i
robert p l a n t s pa c e s h
a c l u b • m 8 3 • t h e 1 9 75
o do o cine
r m h er john misty
• t w c h i • fat
foals years • grimes •hot • courtney barnett
p
years & f a l i c e • pa u s a r ma
t • w o l l e • j a g w
john gran zález • vintage troub
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f r o m l i s b o n ’s v
nly 8 m in ut es f r o m t h e b e ach
o es
and 15 minut

#nosalive10th
Alan Partridge
Local radio legend

The first song The song I do


I remember at karaoke
hearing BryaN aDaMS
BErNarD CriBBiNS Summer Of ’69
Right Said Fred “Bryan has a natural gravel
“As a child, I suffered from to his voice, which I once
epistaxis (nosebleeds) and tried to replicate by
often spent afternoons with DaviD ESSEx smoking five cigarettes
the school receptionist before singing karaoke.
waiting for the bleeding to While it did lend my
stop. One afternoon, this The first performance a certain
1962 novelty song came on
the radio and I was soon
song I fell in rasp, the nicotine made me
giggle (uncontrollably) and
duetting with the friendly love with then vomit (uncontrollably).
spinster, singing along, not DaviD ESSEx Ever the professional, I
caring that the loud noise Hold Me Close completed the song while
had brought on another “My ex-wife Carol told using my coat as a mop.” The song I
nosebleed (epistaxis).” me, in confidence, that
lovemaking made her scalp
can no longer
sweat, so in the early days listen to
of our courtship I’d treat KENNy LoGGiNS
her to a post-coital hair Danger Zone
brush. After intercourse, “On long drives, my friend
we’d sit naked on the bed Eamonn Holmes and I
with me combing her locks would play the Top Gun
for bits that had become soundtrack at high volume.
damp and tangled. This was HaDDaWay We’d don Ray-Bans and The wisdom of
QUEEN the record we listened to.” one would pretend to be the NME archives
Maverick, the other Goose.
The song that The song I can’t listen to this song THiS WEEK
The first album makes me that makes now. Not for any painful
memories – it’s just a
MorriSSEy
The Smiths frontman
I bought want to dance me laugh terrible piece of music.” February 11 1989
QUEEN MoDEST MoUSE HaDDaWay
Jazz Float On What Is Love The song “I think I must be,
“Notable for the song ‘Fat “Does marching count? “In 2008, I spotted
Bottomed Girls’. I once I live alone, so often find Haddaway in a hotel
I want played absolutely, a total
sex object. In every
bumped into Brian May at myself marching back and steam room. I strode over, at my funeral sense of the word. A
R e x , G e t t y, S k y t V / C o l i n H u t t o n

Jodrell Bank and pointed forth to pop songs. ‘Stop introduced myself and said STaN riDGWay lot of men and women
out women were meant to The Cavalry’ by Jona Lewie, I wanted him to sing on Camouflage find me unmistakably
have fatter bottoms than ‘Portsmouth’ by Mike a jingle I’d written. The “Simply outstanding.” attractive.”
men: as well as being an Oldfield and ‘Safety Dance’ sessions went badly and
evolutionary trait to attract by Men Without Hats lend it was only when I visited Alan Partridge: Mid
a mate, women have higher themselves to a brisk hup- the same hotel and saw Morning Matters returns
oestrogen levels, which two-three-four but I’m going him dredging the pool to Sky atlantic at 10pm
deposit fat around the for this 2004 track I heard that I realised he wasn’t on Tuesday February 16
buttocks and thighs. We’ve at an ice rink, because the Haddaway, just a man who
been friends ever since.” singer sounds like Bryan worked for Jurys Inn.” Go to NME.com for
Ferry, who I know from more Soundtracks
Tory party fundraisers.”

46

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