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Proverbs 5 Sermon
Proverbs 5 Sermon
Proverbs 5 Sermon
• Gazed
upon
or
fantasized
about
someone,
not
your
spouse,
in
a
sexual
way?
• Committed
sexual
acts
with
yourself
or
with
someone
who
isn’t
your
spouse,
but
since
it
wasn’t
intercourse
you
thought
it
was
OK.
(the
Bill
Clinton
excuse)
• Flirted,
as
a
married
person
or
with
a
married
person.
• Searched
for
or
looked
at
pornography
(not
just
the
really
bad
stuff,
also
VS
catalog).
• Read
Shades
of
Gray
or
another
romance
novel,
or
watched
a
Nicolas
Sparks
movie,
and
thought
I
wish
my
husband
was
more
like
that
guy.
• Privately
texted,
called,
voxed,
or
talked
in
person
with
someone
of
the
opposite
sex,
enjoying
the
attention
and
secretly
hoping
it
would
turn
into
something
more.
• Deliberately
failed
to
guard
your
heart
and
mind
against
all
forms
(images
&
words)
of
sexual
temptation.
2. Failed
to
be
sexually
intimate
with
your
spouse.
• Not
been
regularly
and
joyfully
sexually
intimate
with
your
spouse,
fulfilling
your
desires
with
that
one
person
only.
• Deliberately
refused
to
have
sex
with
your
spouse
for
illegitimate
or
selfish
reasons.
• Failed
to
do
the
other
(romantic,
selfless)
things
you
ought
to
do
to
provide
a
good
atmosphere
for
sexual
intimacy.
• Sinned
in
such
a
way
that
your
one-‐flesh
union
(Gen.
2)
was
threatened
or
fractured
or
severed.
• Failed
to
love
your
spouse
the
way
Paul
tells
us
in
Ephesians
5.
3. Christian:
IF
YOU
HAVE
FAILED
TO
LOVE
JESUS,
YOUR
GROOM,
WITH
ALL
YOUR
HEART
AND
SOUL
AND
STRENGTH
AND
MIND.
• You
may
be
tempted
to
think
I’m
speaking
to
someone
ELSE
this
morning.
Not
You.
You’re
above
this.
You’d
never
give
in
to
sexual
temptation.
• WE
ALL
NEED
PROVERBS
5.
WE
ALL
NEED
SEXUAL
WISDOM.
AND
WE
ALL
NEED
TO
BE
TOLD
HOW
TO
HONOR
CHRIST
AND
GLORIFY
GOD
WITH
OUR
BODIES.
• Four
Specific
Things
He
Wants
His
Son
To
Do
(AND
WE
SHOULD
DO):
1. Recognize
the
Seductive
Enchantress
(Folly)
&
the
Danger
of
Following
Her
2. Reject
&
Repent
of
the
Folly
of
Adultery
3. Rejoice
in
the
Wisdom
of
Marital
Intimacy
4. Remember…the
Way
of
Folly
Results
in
Entrapment
&
Death
1. Recognize
the
Seductive
Enchantress
(Folly)
&
the
Danger
of
Following
Her
(3-‐6)
3
For
the
lips
of
a
forbidden
woman
drip
honey,
and
her
speech
is
smoother
than
oil,
4
but
in
the
end
she
is
bitter
as
wormwood,
sharp
as
a
two-‐edged
sword.
5
Her
feet
go
down
to
death;
her
steps
follow
the
path
to
Sheol;
6
she
does
not
ponder
the
path
of
life;
her
ways
wander,
and
she
does
not
know
it.
• DISCLAIMER:
This
text
doesn’t
just
apply
to
a
particular
woman
or
even
exclusively
women.
There
are
many
men
who
can
be
seductive
and
enchanting.
It’s
also
not
just
talking
about
real
people;
there
is
spiritual
reference
and
implication.
When
we
read
these
words
we
should
reminded
of
the
woman
Folly,
the
seductress
of
Proverbs
who
deceives
with
her
words
and
temporal
pleasures,
leading
the
unwise
down
a
path
of
death
and
destruction.
• The
Stakes
are
High:
o After
calling
his
son
to
attention
in
verses
1-‐2,
the
father
now
provides
reasons
for
his
upcoming
instructions.
He
wants
to
shock
his
son
so
that
he
will
be
determined
to
listen
and
act
wisely.
o He’s
going
to
give
his
son,
and
us,
some
motivation
for
the
expectation.
o Why
does
the
son
need
to
pay
such
close
attention
and
guard
the
wisdom
he’s
receiving?
Why
does
he
need
to
be
very
careful,
and
vigilant
and
wise
when
it
comes
to
sex?
Because,
as
the
Father
is
about
to
say,
it’s
a
life
and
death
matter
and
you
can
be
easily
talked
into
foolishness.
• ILLUSTRATION:
Shocking
photos
and
stats
to
warn
people,
especially
teenagers,
about
automobile
safety.
Young
people
don’t
think
they
will
die
and
they
tend
to
act
foolishly
behind
the
wheel
so
we
need
to
shock
them
into
driving
wisely.
CDC:
Motor
vehicle
crashes
are
the
leading
cause
of
death
for
U.S.
teens.
In
2010,
seven
teens
ages
16
to
19
died
every
day
from
motor
vehicle
injuries.
Per
mile
driven,
teen
drivers
ages
16
to
19
are
three
times
more
likely
than
drivers
aged
20
and
older
to
be
in
a
fatal
crash.
• Proverbs
5
paints
an
ugly
picture
of
temptation
and
the
consequences
of
giving
into
it.
This
is
intentional.
We,
especially
us
foolish
men,
are
often
deceived
by
appearances
and
led
astray
by
words.
The
father
wants
his
son
to
SEE
and
HEAR
and
FEEL
and
TASTE
how
ugly
this
type
of
sin
is
and
what
it
will
lead
to.
• 2
sides
to
this
picture,
like
“Two-‐Face”
in
Batman
1. v.
3:
The
Attractive
Side:
Mrs.
“Honey
Lips”
o What
can
we
say
about
her?
o She’s
seductive
and
persuasive.
" Her
lips
drip
honey:
refers
to
honey
dripping
straight
off
the
honeycomb
(sweet
and
seductive)
" Her
speech
is
smoother
than
oil:
metaphor
for
deceitful
flattery.
o Her
honey
lips
and
slick
words
flatter
and
flirt.
The
man
is
drawn
to
her
because
she
inflates
his
ego
with
hollow
praise
and
her
words
are
sweet
and
smooth
and
ultimately
seductive.
o McKane:
“She
speaks
in
accents
which
ooze
seductive
charm…Her
lubricious,
seductive
speech
draws
her
victim
irresistibly
towards
mystery,
excitement
and
delight.”
o Begg:
“By
our
talking
we
pave
the
way
(to
foolishness)…Unwholesome
talk
&
filthy
language
greases
the
slopes
for
bad
activities.”
o APPLICATION:
But
we’re
impervious
and
immune
to
flattery
and
flirting,
aren’t
we?
Not
exactly.
We’re
naturally
weak
when
it
comes
to
flirting
and
false
flattery.
It’s
like
Kryptonite
and
we
ALL
need
to
avoid
it—especially
if
we’re
married.
2. vv.
4-‐6:
The
Ugly
Side:
What
You
See
and
Hear
is
NOT
What
You
Get
o What
you
get
is
bitterness
and
death.
Verses
4–6
describe
the
bitter
outcome
of
adultery.
This
illicit
relationship
will
result
in
anguish
and
pain
and
suffering
and
guilt
and
separation,
and
even
death.
1. V.
4a:
But
in
the
end
she
is
bitter
(mārâ)
like
wormwood
(la’anah)
" Wormwood:
bitter
and
sometimes
poisonous
plant
" Used
several
times
in
the
OT,
and
also
Rev
8:11,
where
it
refers
to
the
star
that
fell
from
heaven
and
turned
1/3
of
the
waters
bitter
and
poisonous
" Hebrew
&
Arabic:
curse
" Tempter
in
Lewis’
Screwtape
Letters
" Meaning:
she
brings
bitterness
and
death
2. V.
4b-‐6:
The
adulteress
(Folly)
leads
her
followers
to
death:
" V.4a:
She
is
like
a
double-‐edged
sword
–
a
weapon
intended
to
kill
" V.
5:
Her
feet
go
down
to
death
and
her
path
leads
to
the
grave
(Sheol)
–
all
who
follow
her
follow
her
to
the
grave
" V.6:
The
path
of
life
she
does
not
watch
-‐
She
wanders
aimlessly
in
moral
darkness
–
like
the
Hobbits
Mirkwood
Forest
(Lord
of
the
Rings).
o What
started
out
as
smooth
and
sweet
ends
up
sour
and
bitter
and
mortally
poisonous.
Adultery
results
in
the
opposite
of
what
was
originally
presented.
• Words
(and
appearances)
can
be
deceiving
and
deadly.
Words
can
be
seductive,
then
destructive.
And
first
impressions
often
don’t
represent
reality.
Wisdom
requires
discernment
and
responding
prudently.
o As
Drew
said
last
week,
we
need
to
realize
that
folly
seeks
to
kill
us,
but
also
that
folly
doesn’t
present
itself
as
a
killer,
but
rather
as
something
tempting
and
seductive,
harmless
and
maybe
helpful,
someone
who
appears
to
be
on
our
side,
but
actually
is
our
lying
enemy
and
executioner.
o Remember
in
the
garden
in
Genesis
3,
after
God
made
them
male
and
female
and
told
them
they
would
be
one
flesh:
1
Now
the
serpent
was
more
crafty
than
any
other
beast
of
the
field
that
the
LORD
God
had
made.
He
said
to
the
woman,
“Did
God
actually
say,
‘You
shall
not
eat
of
any
tree
in
the
garden’?”
2
And
the
woman
said
to
the
serpent,
“We
may
eat
of
the
fruit
of
the
trees
in
the
garden,
3
but
God
said,
‘You
shall
not
eat
of
the
fruit
of
the
tree
that
is
in
the
midst
of
the
garden,
neither
shall
you
touch
it,
lest
you
die.’
”
4
But
the
serpent
said
to
the
woman,
“You
will
not
surely
die.
5
For
God
knows
that
when
you
eat
of
it
your
eyes
will
be
opened,
and
you
will
be
like
God,
knowing
good
and
evil.”
6
So
when
the
woman
saw
that
the
tree
was
good
for
food,
and
that
it
was
a
delight
to
the
eyes,
and
that
the
tree
was
to
be
desired
to
make
one
wise,
she
took
of
its
fruit
and
ate,
and
she
also
gave
some
to
her
husband
who
was
with
her,
and
he
ate.
• The
whole
point
of
vv.3–6
is
that
the
young
man
should
heed
wisdom
and
be
preserved.
If
he
follows
after
the
adulteress
(folly),
he
will
go
with
her
to
death.
2. Reject
&
Repent
of
the
Folly
of
Adultery
(7-‐14)
7
And
now,
O
sons,
listen
to
me,
and
do
not
depart
from
the
words
of
my
mouth.
8
Keep
your
way
far
from
her,
and
do
not
go
near
the
door
of
her
house,
9
lest
you
give
your
honor
to
others
and
your
years
to
the
merciless,
10
lest
strangers
take
their
fill
of
your
strength,
and
your
labors
go
to
the
house
of
a
foreigner,
11
and
at
the
end
of
your
life
you
groan,
when
your
flesh
and
body
are
consumed,
12
and
you
say,
“How
I
hated
discipline,
and
my
heart
despised
reproof!
13
I
did
not
listen
to
the
voice
of
my
teachers
or
incline
my
ear
to
my
instructors.
14
I
am
at
the
brink
of
utter
ruin
in
the
assembled
congregation.”
• NOTE:
There
is
an
implicit
analogy
between
adultery
in
marriage
with
infidelity
toward
God.
• 3
sections:
1. V.
7-‐8:
(Negative)
Exhortation
(What
NOT
to
do):
Don’t
ignore
my
wisdom
&
stay
away
from
adultery!
• V.
7:
Listen
to
me…do
not
depart
from
my
words
–
don’t
disregard
my
wisdom
when
the
temptation
comes.
Father:
“Son,
I’m
not
telling
you
this
for
my
own
amusement;
you’re
going
to
need
this
wisdom,
but
you’ll
be
tempted
to
disregard
it
when
temptation
comes.”
• V.8:
Keep
away
from
her,
don’t
even
go
near
her
house.
• ILLUSTRATION:
Parents:
Keeping
your
child
away
from
fire.
• APPLICATION:
Avoid
the
door
(gateway)
to
sexual
temptation.
Don’t
even
go
near
the
door
of
adultery.
Don’t
flirt,
don’t
flatter,
don’t
look,
don’t
fanaticize,
don’t
text,
don’t
call,
don’t
even
think
about
it.
Run
from
it.
And
don’t
“mess
around”
or
“make
out”
thinking
you
can
control
yourself.
Don’t
go
near
the
door
to
something
more!
Because
once
you’re
near
the
door
it’s
a
lot
easier
to
ease
on
in
and
stay
a
while.
2. V.
9-‐11:
Why?
5
Consequences
of
Foolish
Adultery
(negative
consequences
of
not
obeying
the
command
of
v.
8).
You
will
give…
1. Your
honor
to
others
(V.
9)
2. Your
years
to
the
merciless
(V.
9)
3. Your
strength
to
strangers
(V.
10)
4. Your
labors
to
foreigners
(V.
10)
5. Your
life
(you
will
suffer
and
die)
(V.
11)
• Your
loss,
their
gain:
o You
lose:
your
honor
(good
reputation),
strength
(best
attributes
or
talents),
labors
(hard
work),
years
(life)
o They
gain:
all
that
–
because
you
squandered
it.
Adultery
can
result
in
the
squandering
of
everything
important
in
your
life,
including
your
life
itself.
o ILLUSTRATION:
Elin
Nordegren,
former
wife
of
Tiger
Woods,
in
their
divorce
settlement,
received
$750M
&
custody
of
their
kids.
In
exchange,
she
agreed
not
to
talk
about
his
alleged
adultery.
• KEY
POINT:
Adultery
will
lead
you
to
squander
the
good
God
has
given
you.
3. V.12-‐14:
The
Utter
Ruin
of
an
Unregenerate
Heart
• V.
12:
says
he:
hated
discipline
&
despised
correction:
evidence
of
an
unregenerate
heart
and
depravity
• V.
13:
admits
he:
hasn’t
listened
to
and
heeded
the
wisdom
of
his
teachers
&
instructors
(contrary
to
vv.
1-‐
2
&
7)
• Evidence
of
repentance?
Some
say
these
words
are
evidence
of
repentance.
Maybe
so
but
I’m
not
sure.
It
seems
he’s
at
least
very
aware
of
his
foolish
sin
and
it’s
consequences.
And
if
so
he
should
repent.
• APPLICATION:
o Are
you
aware
of
your
own
sinfulness
or
do
you
deny
it?
And
if
you
are
aware,
has
that
awareness
led
you
to
repentance?
Would
you
admit
that
on
your
own
you’re
depraved,
wretched
human
being?
Would
you
admit
you’re
in
need
of
wisdom
and
righteousness
you
don’t
have
on
your
own?
Are
there
sins
you
deny
or
hide?
Do
you
need
a
savior,
and
if
so
do
you
need
him
to
forgive
all
your
sins
or
just
the
ones
you’re
willing
to
admit?
Unbeliever:
Repent
and
believe
and
receive.
The
grace
of
God
in
Christ
is
sufficient
for
all
your
sins.
Run
to
the
cross
and
lay
all
your
wretchedness
before
him
and
receive
his
forgiveness.
Believer:
If
there
are
hidden
sins
haunting
you
and
sexual
idols
enslaving
you,
know
there
is
freedom
and
forgiveness.
Repent.
Rely
on
the
grace
that
saved
you
to
change
you.
There
is
no
sin
too
great
or
too
small
for
his
grace.
And
the
grace
of
Christ
will
cover
your
sexual
sins
too.
So
why
deny
them?
Admit
who
you
are
without
Christ
so
He
can
make
you
what
you
should
be
in
Christ.
o Do
you
hate
discipline
and
despise
correction?
Do
you
deliberately
ignore,
reject
or
fail
to
seek
wisdom?
Are
you
defensive
when
corrected?
Do
you
think
you
don’t
need
wisdom?
Do
you
think
you
get
to
decide
what’s
wise
and
good
and
glorifying
to
God?
Why
do
you
think
you
get
to
decide
that?
That’s
our
“enlightened”
post-‐modern
culture
talking,
not
the
Bible.
Wisdom
is
from
God
and
is
manifest
in
the
person
and
work
of
Christ.
Wisdom
is
not
a
creation
of
man,
nor
does
it
change
with
man.
Wisdom
is
from
God
and
it
is
both
eternal
and
unchanging.
Follow
the
eternal,
unchanging
wisdom
of
God.
Follow
Jesus.
• V.
14:
Utter
ruin
in
the
midst
of
the
congregation
–
this
sin
brings
personal
shame
and
ruin
to
the
wrongdoer
–
leading
to
guilt
and
separation.
Hubbard:
“Made
public,
adultery
brings
personal
shame,
humiliation
to
loved
ones,
and
loss
of
respect
in
the
larger
community.”
• VV.
9–14:
A
picture
of
sexual
sin.
It
is
pleasurable
for
a
time,
but
its
wages
are
suffering
and
shame
and
separation
and
death
(Romans
6:23).
• SUMMARY:
Adultery,
whether
in
body
or
mind
or
heart,
tangible
or
intangible,
is
FOOLISHNESS.
It
is
folly
that
will
lead
to
suffering
and
shame
and
maybe
physical
death.
And
more
importantly,
spiritual
adultery
(unbelief
and
chasing
other
gods)
that
is
not
repented
of,
will
lead
to
death
and
everlasting
suffering.
3. Rejoice
in
the
Wisdom
of
Marital
Intimacy
(15-‐19)
(Married
Folks:
Just
Do
it)
15
Drink
water
from
your
own
cistern,
flowing
water
from
your
own
well.
16
Should
your
springs
be
scattered
abroad,
streams
of
water
in
the
streets?
17
Let
them
be
for
yourself
alone,
and
not
for
strangers
with
you.
18
Let
your
fountain
be
blessed,
and
rejoice
in
the
wife
of
your
youth,
19
a
lovely
deer,
a
graceful
doe.
Let
her
breasts
fill
you
at
all
times
with
delight;
be
intoxicated
always
in
her
love.
• Positive
exhortation
(what
you
should
do):
Be
intoxicated
in
physical
intimacy
with
your
spouse.
Don’t
fool
around
with
folly,
get
intimate
with
wisdom
and
get
busy
with
your
spouse.
• Begg:
Sexual
intimacy
should
be…
o 15-‐17:
Exclusive:
for
yourself
alone,
not
for
strangers
o 18-‐19:
Ecstatic:
physically
satisfying
o 19:
Constant:
at
all
times
&
always
1. 15-‐17:
Sexual
intimacy
in
marriage
should
be
EXCLUSIVE
• VV.
15-‐16:
o v.
15:
well
and
cistern
-‐
the
affections
of
the
wife.
o V.
16:
springs
and
streams
of
water
-‐
husband’s
sexual
affections
o Husband
and
wife
should
fill
and
refresh
each
other
exclusively,
the
one
like
a
flowing
stream
and
the
other
like
a
peaceful
well.
o The
husband
should
not
take
his
love
and
desire
to
anyone
else,
and
the
wife
should
not
offer
herself
to
anyone
else
but
her
husband.
• V.
17:
a
husband
should
never
be
willing
to
share
his
woman
with
another
man.
His
(and
her)
desire
for
exclusivity
is
a
good
thing
and
it
should
be
affirmed,
not
undermined.
• Proverbs
5
and
the
whole
Bible
assumes
and
affirms
that
a
husband’s
wife
belongs
to
him
and
he
belongs
to
her.
As
1
Cor.
7:4–5
tells
us
their
bodies
are
no
longer
their
own,
but
belong
to
their
spouse.
• Application:
Quench
your
sexual
thirst
from
your
wife
or
husband
only.
Don’t
drink
from
the
well
of
another,
including
images
on
a
screen,
words
in
a
book,
your
own
imagination,
or
a
man
or
woman
who
is
not
your
wife.
o Married
folks:
Keep
the
marriage
bed
pure
and
don’t
gratify
yourself
with
anyone
or
anything
that
isn’t
your
spouse.
Heb.
13:4:
Let
marriage
be
held
in
honor
among
all,
and
let
the
marriage
bed
be
undefiled,
for
God
will
judge
the
sexually
immoral
and
adulterous.
o Unmarried
folks:
If
you
want
to
have
sex
and
be
sexually
gratified,
you
need
to
be
married;
then
you
can
enjoy
sex
with
your
spouse,
so
long
as
you
both
shall
live.
o Church,
believers:
See
the
greater
spiritual
implication
of
this
general
truth:
don’t
seek
from
the
world
or
yourself
what
only
Christ
can
give
you:
forgiveness,
grace,
peace,
contentment
and
EVERLASTING
joy.
2. 18-‐19:
Sexual
intimacy
in
marriage
should
be
ECSTATIC
• Husbands,
wives:
Enjoy
yourselves
sexually,
and
delight
in
the
“hotness”
of
your
spouse.
• Sex
isn’t
just
for
making
babies.
Marriage
should
include
sexual
joy
and
fulfillment.
• 18:
Father’s
Prayer
for
the
son
that
his
marriage
would
be
blessed
sexually
and
that
he
would
always
physically
delight
in
the
wife
God
gave
him.
(WARNING
FOR
MARRIED
FOLKS:
Be
careful,
after
you’ve
been
married
a
little
while,
to
think
you
deserve
someone
new
and
more
exciting.
God
gave
you
him.
God
gave
you
her.
It’s
sinful
to
become
dissatisfied
or
discontent.
You’re
essentially
saying
to
God:
he
or
she
was
pretty
hot
back
in
the
day,
but
I
deserve
better
now.
Are
you
kidding
me?
Look
at
yourself!
You
think
you’re
all
that?
You
should
thank
God
daily
he
gave
you
what
you
have.
You
will
age
and
so
will
your
spouse.
But
they
should
be
no
less
beautiful
to
you.
No
less
physically
attractive.
They
should
grow
hotter
in
your
eyes.
• 19:
(Getting
explicit,
PG-‐13.
Sorry
parents,
it’s
the
Bible.)
o How
‘bout
Proverbs
5:19
for
over
your
mantle?
Or
a
tattoo?
o [Let
her
be
like]
a
lovely
deer,
a
graceful
doe:
In
Semitic
(Hebrew)
poetry,
the
doe
and
deer
were
objects
of
special
delight
and
endearment
(Song
of
Songs
2:17;
3:5)—
evocative
picture
of
physical
delight.
o Let
her
breasts
fill
you
at
all
times
with
delight
" Her
breasts
(daddêyhā):
only
used
in
Ezek.
23:3,
8,
21.
The
English
doesn’t
quite
capture
the
essence
of
what’s
being
conveyed
with
this
word.
The
word
used
here
is
provocative
and
explicit.
It’s
not
talking
about
nursing
and
this
is
not
a
clinical
term,
it’s
blatantly
sexual.
" Fill
you:
“to
drink
one’s
fill”
or
“to
make
saturated
with
a
liquid”
Point:
The
source
of
the
richest
and
most
satisfying
drink
is
the
wife’s
physicality.
o Be
intoxicated
always
in
her
love.
Get
drunk
on
your
wife
(or
husband)
physically.
" Let
her
beauty
be
like
an
intoxicating
wine
(covenant
friendly).
3. 19:
Sexual
intimacy
in
marriage
should
be
CONSTANT
• At
all
times
&
always:
not
once
in
a
while,
not
just
when
your
young,
not
just
when
it’s
convenient,
not
just
when
you’re
not
tired,
not
just
when
your
schedules
line
up,
and
not
just
when
all
the
romantic
stars
are
in
place.
All
the
time
(often)
and
always
(continual).
• Application:
(just
for
the
married
folks)
o The
Word
of
God
says
have
sex-‐all
the
time!
Constantly.
Always.
Obviously
there’s
a
little
hyperbole
here,
but
you
get
the
idea.
Make
time
for
love
and
make
love
all
the
time.
o Get
drunk
with
each
other.
Stay
thirsty
my
friends
and
drink
up!
No
two
drink
limit
with
your
spouse.
• Objections
&
Struggles:
o Too
Old
o Too
Busy
o Too
Tired
o Kids
o Physical
or
Emotional
Problems
o Marital
Problems
&
Conflict
&
Sin
o Guilt
&
Shame
(past
or
present)
o No
spark,
no
excitement,
no
romance
o Not
pleasurable
o Just
don’t
feel
like
it
• Some
of
these
are
legit
but
some
are
not
–
or
at
least
not
as
bad
as
they’ve
been
made
out
to
be.
Yes,
there
can
be
some
legitimate
barriers
and
struggles
that
make
marital
intimacy
a
challenge
or
even
inadvisable
–
at
least
for
a
time.
So
here’s
my
advice:
o If
it’s
a
temporary
problem
or
issue:
Don’t
let
that
time
linger.
Come
together
again
physically
as
soon
as
you
can
(1
Cor.
7:5).
o If
is
a
physical
or
emotional
issue,
or
if
there’s
serious
marital
conflict
and
division:
Talk
to
someone,
get
help.
This
can
and
will
be
a
wedge
in
your
marriage
and
there
are
people
who
can
give
you
good
Biblical
and
practical
counsel
when
it
comes
to
sex.
And
if
you’re
young
and
new
at
this,
be
patient
and
keep
practicing.
o If
there
are
physical
or
other
challenges
that
cannot
be
easily
or
ever
remedied:
be
as
intimate
as
you
can
as
often
as
you
can.
Be
satisfied
and
delighted
in
one
another
‘til
the
day
you
die.
o If
it’s
a
personal
discipline
issue:
Obey
God
and
fulfill
your
marital
covenant
physically.
Be
intimate
with
your
spouse-‐regularly.
It’s
not
OK
not
to.
If
that’s
you,
if
you’re
ignoring
your
spouse
physically,
repent
and
get
busy.
Stop
making
excuses
and
stop
making
less
essential
tasks
and
interests
more
important
than
enjoying
physical
intimacy
with
your
wife
or
husband.
God
gave
you
this
gift,
unwrap
it
and
enjoy
it!
4. Remember:
The
Folly
of
Adultery
Results
in
Entrapment
&
Death
(20-‐23)
20
Why
should
you
be
intoxicated,
my
son,
with
a
forbidden
woman
and
embrace
the
bosom
of
an
adulteress?
21
For
a
man’s
ways
are
before
the
eyes
of
the
LORD,
and
he
ponders
all
his
paths.
22
The
iniquities
of
the
wicked
ensnare
him,
and
he
is
held
fast
in
the
cords
of
his
sin.
23
He
dies
for
lack
of
discipline,
and
because
of
his
great
folly
he
is
led
astray.
• 20:
Why
seek
some
other
strong
drink
when
God
has
given
you
one
that
is
plenty
strong?
Why
drink
prohibition
moonshine
when
he’s
given
you
fine
wine?
• 21-‐23:
The
father
concludes
by
grounding
his
wise
instructions
in
good
theology:
God’s
omniscience
(v.
21)
and
his
justice
(vv.
22–23).
o God
sees
all
sin
and
will
judge
all
sin.
All
the
wicked,
without
exception,
not
just
the
adulterer,
are
entrapped
by
their
sin
and
will
die
–
without
embracing
wisdom
and
Christ
who
exemplifies
and
personifies
the
wisdom
of
God.
o Bridges:
“Would
not
the
thought
that
a
man’s
ways
are
in
full
view
of
the
LORD
stop
him
in
his
tracks?
No,
it
doesn’t.
Practical
atheism
is
the
root
of
human
depravity
(Psalm
14:1–3).
The
eye
of
another
person,
even
of
a
child,
is
a
check
on
a
sinner;
yet
the
thought
of
the
all-‐seeing
God,
even
if
it
enters
his
mind,
does
not
alarm,
convict,
or
restrain
him.”
o Final
Consequence
of
Adultery:
entrapment,
death
and
separation
In
the
end,
sin
will
catch
you
like
a
hunter’s
trap.
There
is
no
escape
from
it.
Final
Appeal
(3
steps):
1. Confess
and
Repent
of
Your
Sin
to
God
(and
with
wisdom
to
others).
Bonhoeffer
on
confession
of
sin:
“Sin
demands
to
have
a
man
by
himself.
It
withdraws
him
from
the
community.
The
more
isolated
a
person
is,
the
more
destructive
will
be
the
power
of
sin
over
him,
and
the
more
deeply
he
becomes
involved
in
it,
the
more
disastrous
is
his
isolation.
Sin
wants
to
remain
unknown.
It
shuns
the
light.
In
the
darkness
of
the
unexpressed
it
poisons
the
whole
being
of
a
person.
This
can
happen
even
in
the
midst
of
a
pious
community.
In
confession
the
light
of
the
Gospel
breaks
into
darkness
and
seclusion
of
the
heart.
The
sin
must
be
brought
into
the
light.
The
unexpressed
must
be
openly
spoken
and
acknowledged.
All
that
is
secret
and
hidden
is
made
manifest.
It
is
a
hard
struggle
until
the
sin
is
openly
admitted.”
2. Receive
the
Forgiveness
of
God
• If
you
have
sinned
sexually
or
caught
up
in
it
now,
KNOW
THIS,
BELIEVE
THIS:
Adultery
(and
all
sexual
sin),
as
wrong
as
it
is,
and
whatever
form
it
takes,
is
NOT
the
unforgivable
sin.
• You
are
NOT
trapped
fatalistically
in
its
clutches.
By
the
grace
of
God,
you
can
escape
it.
God’s
grace
is
sufficient
and
his
power
is
infinite.
This
is
not
too
much
for
Him
and
He
longs
to
help
you.
• Appeal
to
God’s
mercy
and
unfailing
compassion,
found
in
Christ.
He
was
mocked,
beaten,
spat
upon,
pierced
and
hung
on
a
cross
to
die
FOR
YOUR
SIN,
THAT
SIN.
And
three
days
later
He
rose
victorious.
Your
sin
is
not
too
much
for
Him.
He
already
knows
about
it.
He’s
seen
it.
Why
not
receive
his
forgiveness
for
it?
• You
will
not
find
perfect
mercy
and
eternal
absolution
in
anyone
else
or
in
anything
else.
Run
to
Jesus
and
receive
the
forgiveness
that
comes
only
through
Jesus.
• Bonhoeffer:
[But
when]
“the
sinner
surrenders;
he
gives
up
all
his
evil.
He
gives
his
heart
to
God,
and
he
finds
the
forgiveness
of
all
his
sin
in
the
fellowship
of
Jesus
Christ
and
his
brother.
The
expressed,
acknowledged
sin
has
lost
all
its
power.”
3. Rest
in
the
grace
of
God
(and
in
the
arms
of
your
spouse)
• SINNER:
HAVE
HOPE
IN
THE
GOSPEL.
If
you
are
in
Christ:
KNOW
and
BELIEVE
deep
down
in
the
depths
of
your
heart
that
God
has
forgiven
your
sin.
Remind
yourself
of
that
constantly,
and
live
and
speak
accordingly.
Unbeliever:
Know
that
if
you
genuinely
repent
and
believe
in
the
Gospel,
God
will
forgive
you.
And
by
his
Spirit
and
his
Word,
in
community
and
with
your
obedience,
he
will
heal
you
and
make
you
like
his
son,
Jesus.
• IF
YOU’VE
BEEN
SINNED
AGAINST:
EXTEND
GRACE
AND
GRANT
FORGIVENESS.
I
know
this
is
difficult,
maybe
even
impossible
on
your
own.
But
I
beg
you
to
forgive
as
Christ
has
forgiven
you.
Don’t
allow
your
heart
become
bitter
and
resentful
and
hateful.
Remember
who
you
were
without
Christ,
then
forgive
like
Christ.
• TRUST
GOD
TO
HEAL
YOUR
MARRIAGE.
Trust
God
to
make
your
marriage
what
it
never
was
and
better
than
it
ever
was
–
for
his
glory
and
your
satisfaction.
Keller:
We
must
say
to
ourselves
something
like
this:
“Well,
when
Jesus
looked
down
from
the
cross,
he
didn't
think
‘I
am
giving
myself
to
you
because
you
are
so
attractive
to
me.’
No,
he
was
in
agony,
and
he
looked
down
at
us
-‐
denying
him,
abandoning
him,
and
betraying
him
-‐
and
in
the
greatest
act
of
love
in
history,
he
STAYED.
He
said,
‘Father,
forgive
them,
they
don't
know
what
they
are
doing.’
He
loved
us,
not
because
we
were
lovely
to
him,
but
to
make
us
lovely.
That
is
why
I
am
going
to
love
my
spouse.
Speak
to
your
heart
like
that,
and
then
fulfill
the
promises
you
made
on
your
wedding
day.”
• LET
IT
BE
WELL
WITH
YOUR
SOUL.
It
Is
Well
With
My
Soul
(Horatio
Spafford)
V.
1:
When
peace,
like
a
river,
attendeth
my
way,
When
sorrows
like
sea
billows
roll;
Whatever
my
lot,
Thou
has
taught
me
to
say,
It
is
well,
it
is
well,
with
my
soul.
V.
2:
Though
Satan
should
buffet,
though
trials
should
come,
Let
this
blest
assurance
control,
That
Christ
has
regarded
my
helpless
estate,
And
hath
shed
His
own
blood
for
my
soul.
V:
3:
My
sin,
oh,
the
bliss
of
this
glorious
thought!
My
sin,
not
in
part
but
the
whole,
Is
nailed
to
the
cross,
and
I
bear
it
no
more,
Praise
the
Lord,
praise
the
Lord,
O
my
soul.