The Girl’s Last Wish

From the day I met her—since we were children, we were always together. Our
houses were nearby, so maybe it would be appropriate to call us childhood
friends.

She should have been two years younger than me, but she always acted so
haughtily. To make it worse, she was from an old, rich family which would make
her a high-class lady fit for a painting.

If I was late to a meetup, even for just a minute, her mood would worsen and I
would become the target of her insult. If I received a bad score on a test, she
would lecture me with a stern look on her face for hours. If I fell over nothing,
she would give a very cold look in her eyes, so much that I thought she was
going to kill me, albeit in a figurative sense.

Her attitude had made me wonder if she actually hated me, so I ended up asking
her about it. But, in a deadpan expression, she answered, “That’s not true.” It
was fun spending time with her, so it made me really happy to hear that she did
not hate me.

Although, I don’t know what she really thought of me, even now. It’s okay even
if I wasn’t her number one, or two, even if she did not think of me as anyone
special… it’s okay. It would be great if she thought of me as a friend.

(Ahaha…)

I reminisced a time when she ate a cookie I made. With an expressionless face,
she murmured that it was delicious. ‘Is it really delicious?’ I asked, but she got
angry, telling me not to make her repeat herself.

She was a girl that rarely smiled, and she would never say her true feelings
aloud. That’s why even if I call her my childhood friend, I hardly know anything
about her. I thought it would be best to be quiet about things that she didn’t
want to tell others about.

(I was so stupid…)

Since she would get angry at me every time I received a bad mark, my grades
ended up going up. Although, it seems that the stupidity in my head never
changed. If only I was a bit smarter, things would not turn out like this. I reap
what I sow.

(There’s nothing I can do about it.)

Even so, perhaps it would have been better if I did what I could. After all, it is so
much better than regretting things I didn’t do.

(Still, I’m sure she’s really angry.)

My eyes can’t see anything anymore, my ears can’t hear anything, either. I can’t
see her displeased face, nor can I hear her icy voice anymore. It makes me feel
lonely, and pained. But taking on the positive side, I don’t need to listen to her
scolding because of it.

(Ah, it doesn’t hurt anymore.)

I have lost my eyesight, my sense of pain, as well as the strength to move my

body. Although I can’t confirm it, I am sure that a large amount of blood is
flowing out of my body—I am dying.

I… can no longer be saved.

(I’m going to die.)

Now that I think of it, I once joked about how I wanted to die with a smile on my
face. I think she said something in reply, while looking displeased.

(But in the end, I didn’t have the time to put on a smile.)

I wish I could say something to my mother, father, to my younger sister for the
last time. I wish I could see everyone’s faces, for one last look. Thinking back
upon it, I have so many regrets, but there’s nothing I can do anymore.

(Did I manage to protect her?)

It’s frustrating that I can’t do anything anymore, but please… let her be happy. I
want her to be really, really happy, and smile.
(I think… it’s soon…)

My consciousness is fading, and I can’t think anymore. I am slowly disappearing

from this world. Her face dimly appears in my mind, it was the last that I saw of
her—a face full of sadness. It doesn’t have to be a smile, but at least…

It would have been better if I could see her usual face.

(I’m… sorry…)

Without being able to convey those words, I slowly take my last breath.
 Reminiscence
“You’re late.”

Wading through the overgrown grass, I find her standing in the garden—a cute
girl two years younger than me.

However, her cute face is warped in displeasure, which makes me step back
without thinking.

“But… it’s only for five minutes. Isn’t it fine?”

“No, it isn’t. Do you think that you can use that excuse once you’re working in a
company?”
“……Then I just need to be careful after I grow up. I am still a child, so can’t you
overlook it somehow?”
“If you don’t start now, you will regret it when you grow up, you know that?”
“Okay, okay.”
“Answering once is enough.”
“………Okay.”

It is useless for me to say anything else, so I listen to her obediently. She gives me
a strict caution like a mother. Even though she is younger, she is already much
more mature than me. But since I am taller, I look older than her from our
appearances.

I remove a leaf that is stuck on my clothes and I look up to the large mansion in
front of me. I don’t really get it, but it seems that her family has a long tradition.
In other words, she is rich.

“Are you done studying?”

“I’m on a break.”
“Ah, so not yet… Is it okay for you to play?”
“I’ll finish later, so it won’t be a problem.”
“Okay, then.”

As a lady, she has to attend her lessons and studies, so she has almost no time to
play. That’s why I didn’t use the front door. I always come from the secret path
through the overgrown grass to play with her.

“Am I bothering your studies?”

“You don’t need to worry about that. Studying all the time suffocates me, so this
makes for a good refreshment.”
“I see.”

I am happy to know that I can help her, even just a bit. It’s fun for me to play
with her, too, so it is two birds with one stone. Yup.

“Say…”
“Hm?”
“What are we going to play?”
“Let’s see~ the weather looks good today, so let’s take a nap. It’ll help you relax
after your study.”
“That’s what you always say.”
“Ehehe, yup. But it is nice and warm, it will feel good, you know?”

A warm sunlight and the pleasant wind are inviting me to sleep. I am getting
sleepier as I talk.

“…You already look sleepy. You have the nerve to be taking a nap as soon as
you reach here.”
“Ahaha… ha… I’m sor… ry.”

I may be sorry about it, but the sleepiness is attacking without mercy. My eyes
are already closed as is.

“Well, doesn’t matter. Wake up when I call you, okay?”

“…Mm~”

I was going to ask her to take a nap together, but I am so sleepy that I cannot talk
much. I often sleep next to her, but she is always awake, just waiting silently for
me to wake up. That’s why I thought to invite her to sleep together today.

“Good night…”

Listening to her soft voice, my consciousness sinks deeper and deeper.

 Restart
“Onee-chan.”
“Uu…”
“Onee-chan!”
“Mm?”

Slowly opening my heavy eyelids, my younger sister fills my vision. I raise my

back from the seat and look around to see that we have reached our destination.
Since we are traveling far by car, it seems I ended up sleeping before I knew it.

I open the door and step outside to stretch my body that is stiff from sitting too
much. I take a deep breath, then I slowly breathe out while looking at the scenery
around me once again.

“I see… we’ve arrived.”

“Haa~ I’m so tired.”

Getting out from the driver’s seat, Mother staggers as she walks next to me. She
must be tired after driving a long distance, she looks pale with fatigue.

“I think our luggage hasn’t arrived yet, so let’s take a break!”

“Agreed~! I’m tired from sitting in the car for the whole time.”

Looking at my sister who is scrambling to be the first one to enter our house,
Mother and I make a wry smile. I find our family name [Hayase] engraved at the
nameplate by the front door. That’s when it finally hits that this place has
become our new home.

“Hinata~ would you massage my shoulders later? They hurt so much.”

“Sure, but can I take a walk around the town first?”
“Don’t go crying if you get lost, okay?”
“I’ll be okay, I have my cell phone.”

I take out my cell phone and show it to my mother. If I get lost, I can look up the
internet for a map. If that doesn’t help, then I can just use it to contact someone.

“Alright then. Take care, though.”

“Oka—y.”
I wait for Mother to enter our new home after my sister, then I go for a walk.

People are born, and death will eventually come. It may come earlier for some,
and latter for others, but everyone shares the same, unavoidable fate.

When I had been in my 3rd year of high school, I had thought that [death] was
something far away. But on the contrary, it came so soon for me.

Right, I have departed from this world once. But for some reason, I am back
living again in this world. Although, since I have a different appearance and
name now, perhaps it’s more appropriate to say that I have reincarnated.
However… I can clearly remember my memories from before I died.

I don’t know how or why I get to keep the memories of my past life when I
reincarnated. What I do know is, that I have been living my second life
uneventfully.

(This is so nostalgic.)

As I walk leisurely, I look at the landscape of the town. Every time I see a
familiar scenery, I feel my chest tighten. It’s strange how it feels both warm and
cold at the same time.

“………”

I have come to this town for the first time in my life. But, it’s not my first time,
either. The previous me had lived in this town for eighteen years before I died, so
it’s natural for me know this town well. I smile wryly at the contradiction, as I
look around this nostalgic town.

(So, it’s been 16 years since then.)

I come to realize how long it’s been since I died before, and I am hit by the fact
that time flows really fast.

I was in my second mother’s womb right after the previous me died, and I was
born several months after. I started having my own awareness when I was a
kindergartner, and that is when I recalled the memories of my past life. Either
way, I have been living my life normally.

(Although, I never thought that I would come to this town again…)

The place where I lived is far from the town where the previous me lived, so I
couldn’t do it. No, I could have come here if I wanted to. But I didn’t, because I
was terrified.

The me who had been living in this town is already dead. I was terrified to meet
someone I know—it ached me. Although, it’s true that I was also curious to
know what happened after I died. I never thought that I would be moving here
because of Mother’s work, I wouldn’t even dream of it.

(I wonder, is everyone doing well?)

Are Dad and Mom healthy? How is my crybaby sister doing when she’s grown
up? What kind of careers are my dear friends taking? And… what about————

“…………”

What should I do if I meet her? I am [me] now, and I am no longer the [previous
me]. There is nothing I can do about it. I don’t have the rights, either. The only
thing I need to do now is to live my current life to the fullest, isn’t it?

(……Let’s go home.)

It’s about time for our luggage to arrive, and I’ve got to help organize them. I
turn back my heel, retracing from the way I—

(——Eh?)
I see a familiar person standing there.

My heart takes a leap, a cold sweat is coursing along my cheek, and my head
goes blank. My mouth trembles, I can’t even breathe properly.

(C-calm down, me!)

I strain my eyes to look at her, and I am certain that they look alike. But, the one I
am looking at is a young girl that looks the same age as me. Sixteen years have
passed since then, so she should be thirty-something years old now. That’s why,
I am mistaking her for someone else, that girl cannot be her. Telling that to
myself, I calm my pounding heart.

“Um.”
“Eeeep!”

Being called at all of a sudden makes my calm heart take another leap. I made
such a scene from my surprise that I end up startling the young girl in front of
me as well. She is making such a frightened face that she looks pitiful.

“I-I’m sorry for calling out to you all of a sudden…… I must have scared you.”
“It, i-i-i-it’s okay.”

To calm myself, I take a deep breath repeatedly and adjust my breathing.

…Yosh. As a result, I have managed to somewhat regain my presence of mind.

Starting anew, I look towards the young girl who called at me.

(Uh.)

Like I thought, they look alike. I know that this girl isn’t her, but I can’t keep my
heart from pounding faster. It feels so nostalgic that I can feel the corner of my
eyes heating up——No, no. I seriously need to calm down.

“C-c-can I help you?”

Putting on a stiff smile, I try to answer in a natural way to avoid making her
wary of me. But in reality, my face is cramping and my voice has broken into a
falsetto. I am acting so suspiciously, but still, I’ve tried my best.
She gives me a strange look for a while, but then she holds out something in her
hand to me.

“?”
“Here, I am wondering if this is yours.”
“Ah…”

Certainly, the plain handkerchief that is lying on the palm of her hand is mine. I
must have dropped it when I was loitering around while looking at the scenery.
Then, she noticed it by chance and picked it up for me.

“Yes, it’s mine. Thank you for picking it up.”

“Don’t mention it. I did nothing much.”
Said the girl as she gives me a sweet smile.

“…………”
“Um…?”

She must be finding it weird because I am looking at her without saying

anything. She gives me a strange look as she tilts her head.

Oops, this won’t do. I’ve been staring at her too much.

“Sorry, you look like someone I know.”

“I see. It’s all right, please don’t worry about it.”
“Oh yeah, as thanks for picking it up for me… well, it’s rough around the edges.
But, please have some if you’d like.”

I produce a pouch from my pocket and present it to her.

“Aww… you don’t have to.”

“I made it myself, so I don’t know if it’ll suit to your tastes. Although, it’ll make
me happy if you’d eat them.”

It’s what I made before we departed—cookies to fill our tummies when we feel
hungry.

“Wow… you made it yourself? You’re amazing.”

“Nah, baking cookies is pretty simple. It’s nothing that amazing.”
“Fufu… thank you very much. I’ll be eating them plenty.”
“Yup. Then, thank you very much for returning my handkerchief.”
“I should be the one thanking you for the cookies. Thank you.”

She politely bows, then she turns and walks away. Her back overlaps with the
sight of my childhood friend, and I end up watching her until she is gone from
view.

“Hm… they look really similar, except for their personalities.”

At least, the girl that I know isn’t that polite, she’d never smile so gently, either. I
wonder… is she in this town right now? Does she smile like that girl did? Is
she… leading a happy life?

(I don’t even have the right to pray for those things.)

I open my hand, which I had clenched before I knew it. It’s damp with sweat.

(I should go home.)

I swing my head to drop my thoughts about it. I start walking home, as if I’m
running away from something that I can’t see.

——Today, I am living in this town again.

It’s a town full of memories from when I was called with a different name. But
this time, I am here as someone else entirely. I don’t know what kind of action I
should take.

From the time the present me—the girl named [Hayase Hinata]—was born, this
is the moment when I truly start living my life.
 A New Morning

“Hinata~! If you’ve finished tidying up over there, can you give me a hand over
here~?”

Hinata. That’s my name, given to me by my second mother after I reincarnated.

“Okay, okay— just wait a bit.”

I put off organizing the reference books and walk towards the room where the
voice came from. There, I see my mother buried in a large heap of clothes. Ouh,
what is she doing?

“What are you doing, Mom?”

“I accidentally kicked away the cardboard box where we kept our clothes, and I
ended up like this. Can you help me?”
“What can I do with you…”
“Hinata, you’re so kind~ That’s my girl~”
“Sure, sure. Just move aside.”

I gather up the clothes that are scattered about, then I fold them carefully before
storing them in the dresser one by one. While I’m folding the summer clothes, I
spot one T-shirt with a cute character illustration from an anime that I know.
Although, I’ve never seen this shirt before.

“……Mom, is this yours?”

“Oh my. I had bought that for you, but it went missing before I could hand it
over.”
“…Ah! Speaking of which, you told me you wanted a new clothes, right, Saki?
I’ll give this one to you.”
“I don’t want that embarrassing shirt.”

I show the clothes to Saki, my younger sister, but she openly refuses it with a
frown on her face.

“Then, should Mom wear it instead?”

“”Don’t.””

Mother has a catastrophic fashion sense. That’s why we buy our own clothes
instead of asking her. There was a time when I asked her to buy me a shirt, and
she picked an aloha shirt or something. Looking at Mother who is wearing a
bright, seven-colored underwear makes me sigh in secret.

“Oh, right. Hinata, there was a phone call earlier. Apparently, your uniform will
arrive tomorrow. Can you retrieve it yourself?”
“So, my uniform’s ready.”
“And Saki’s uniform, too, while you’re at it.”
“Roger.”

This spring, Saki will be sitting in her second year of middle school, while I will
become a sparkling new first year high schooler. After various deliberations, I
took the entrance examination to the high school where I had enrolled before.

Since I already have the knowledge to reach the university level, it doesn’t really
matter which school I pick. But in the end, I decided on that school because it is
close to home. I have mixed feelings about attending the same school again, but
it is hard for me to give up on the charm of being able to sleep in until the last
minute. Although, I didn’t think that I would have to attend school again all the
way from the beginning. It somewhat feels as if I am repeating my grades.

“I’m gonna have a new school life when spring break is over, huh~ I think I feel a
bit anxious.”

I don’t feel that way because I am going to attend as a new student. But unlike
me, my sister will be there as a transfer student. It might be a bit difficult to join
the already existing class groups.

“You’ll be fine, Saki! You’re cute, so you’re going to be super popular!”

“No way. I just wanna be normal.”
“Saki has always been popular with both boys and girls, after all. That’s my girl!”
“Okay, okay. Help me tidy up these clothes, Mom. And Saki, if you’re free…”
“Oops, I haven’t finished tidying up my things, so I’m gonna pass!”

Before I could finish talking, Saki returns to her own room.

“She got away.”

Sheesh, my sister sure is good at running away.

“Say, say, Hinata. Look, does it suit me? Do I look sexy?”

When I turn to look, I see Mother twisting and turning, wearing my middle
school’s sailor uniform.

“Take. It. Off. Now!!”

“Eeeh~ I still look super sexy in it, right~?”

“How about you place your hand on your chest and recall your own age?!”
“37… yup, I think I still have more than enough to spare.”
“That’s surely more than enough to go way past the boundary.”

Mother jests, and I rebuke—tidying the place takes longer than I thought, but
we’re finally done.

“Bfwoh!!”
“Kyaah! That’s so dirty!”

I woke up in the morning, and I found milk lying on the table. I was drinking it
when I saw Mother… wearing the embarrassing shirt that I discovered
yesterday. I ended up spouting the liquid in my mouth in reflex.

“Hinata, sheesh~ you’re spilling the white stuff on the floor.”

“Can you stop using such a weird phrasing the first thing in the morning?! And
take off that shirt now! I’ll use it to wipe the floor with.”
“T-take it off, you say… Aren’t you so bold this morning…”
“Stop blushing! And stop taking off the lower part of your clothes! Why do you
always take things to that direction?!”
“My, this is a bonding between mother and daughter, you know?”
She must be mistaking the word bonding with something else entirely! Oh
Mother, instead of interacting as parent and child, I think you’ll end up building
a forbidden relationship between us!

“Gee~ Both of you are so loud—”

Rubbing her eyes, my sister appears while looking displeased.

“”Sorry.””

“I’m hungry, I wanna eat breakfast already.”

She makes a loud clattering sound as she sits, then she taps on table with her
index finger, showing her displeasure.

“It’ll be done soon. Wait just a bit, okay?”

Mother flusters as she returns to the kitchen, whilst I take a seat in front of Saki. I
open up a newspaper lying on the table, and I roughly scan through the business
column. I spot the word [recession] written several times in the newspaper. It
makes me worry if I will be able to get a job in a few years to come. I hope the
outlook will pick up a bit by then. Recession is bad.

“…Onee-chan, it’s rare for you to be up so early like this.”

I’m a real sleepyhead, so I am often late to school. On holidays, it is normal for

me to stay in bed until past noon. She must be finding it strange for such an
undisciplined elder sister like me to be awake so early in the morning.

“I couldn’t sleep well yesterday. I’m not used to sleeping in my new room yet.”
“Hmm~”
“I’m a delicate person, you see.”
“Keep your sleep talking for when you’re asleep.”
“Ah, you’re so cruel. Although I may not look like it, I’m actually a frail maiden
who gets hurt easily….”
“Is that so? Anyway, gimme the newspaper, I wanna see the entertainment
column.”

Saki has activated her ignore skill… I feel hurt.

“…Here you go.”

I close the newspaper that I spread open before passing it to Saki. Then she
spreads it up on the big table. she is looking at the newspaper like she’s going to
devour it. I take a look myself; there is a famous singer and an actress who are
getting a divorce, written in big texts. As someone ignorant with fads, I don’t get
it at all.

We are reading the newspaper together, and after a short while, Mother brings
our breakfast. We stop reading the newspaper and start eating our meal. I nibble
on the well-toasted bread that is spread with strawberry jam.

“Our neighbor came to say hello last night.”

Mother suddenly started a conversation, so I temporarily put the toast I am

eating back to the plate, and I drink some milk.

“When? Anyway, what kind of person was it?”

We’re going to be knowing each other from now on, so I’m a little bit interested.

“It was a cute girl, Hinata, the same age as you. She was polite with her words,
and she acted so elegantly. Mom was surprised.”
“So much that I wanted Onee-chan to learn from her. But it’s just impossible.”
“…Ah, I see. Saki was there, too.”
“I was free.”
“She’s living together with her mother. Although, her mother was away at work
yesterday.”
“Hmm~”

The same age as me… huh. I nibble on the toast again, wondering about the girl
next door from Mother’s story. Should I go there to say hello if I have the time
today?

“It was a feast.”

I clap my hands together and announce that I have finished my meal. Then, I
take the now empty tableware towards the kitchen. Facing Mother and my sister
who are still eating their breakfast, I make a big yawn.

“Okay then, good night.”

“Haah?! Are you going to sleep again, Onee-chan?!”
“Wait a second, Hinata. Are you going to sleep again when you’re already
awake? If you go to sleep right after you eat, you’re going to turn into a whale,
you know.”

Isn’t it supposed to be a cow?

“I didn’t sleep much yesterday, so I’m sleepy. Fuaah, let me sleep till noon~”

To the two who look like they’ve given up on me, I swing my hand to and fro. I
return to my room right away and I dive in my bed vigorously. Uuhm, the bed
and pillow feel soft and fluffy.

“There we go.”

I change my position from lying face down to face up, and I dazedly look at the
beautiful ceiling.

“Fuaah…”

Due to lack of sleep, and perhaps because yesterday’s fatigue from tidying up
still remained, the sleepiness hits me soon enough. While feeling out of place
from the unfamiliar smell of my new room, I slowly part with my consciousness.

Reminiscence 2
“Here you go.”

To my ever expressionless childhood friend, I hold out a small pouch which has
a pretty wrapping. Without changing her expression, she silently accepts the
pouch and carefully opens it to look into the content.
“…Cookies?”
“Yup. Mom taught me how to make it.”
“It’s your first time?”
“That’s right.”
“…Will I die after eating it?”
“Cruel!”
“Just a joke.”

From inside the pouch, she takes out one badly-shaped cookie. She tosses it into
her mouth and crunches on it. Just when I counted one, she puts the second, and
then the third cookie into her mouth. Not saying whether it tastes good, without
showing it on her face—I can’t tell if she likes it or not.

“Umm, is it good?”
“………It’s too sweet.”
“S-sorry.”

It seems I put in too much sugar. I thought I have measured the amount
properly, but it appears that I put in more than needed. I recall when Mom told
me that even the slightest change in ingredients will end up changing the taste.

“I shall be looking forward to the next time.”

“Umm, you mean, you want me to make it for you again?”
“You are free to do so?”
“I-I’ll do my best.”

I take up the challenge to make her say, “It tastes good.” Next time I’ll bake some
delicious cookies——I swear to myself.

Although when I realize it, she is still eating my handmade cookies.

“You don’t have to force yourself to eat them, you know?”

“I’m not forcing myself. It’s just that I’m hungry.”
“Ah, I see.”

She could’ve eaten the sweets from her home instead of my cookies. But before I
could say it out, she has finished eating them all.
“Thank you for the feast.”
“S-sure.”
“In return, I’ll give you this.”

After she says that, she plucks one of the flowers in a corner of the garden and
hands it to me.

“Won’t you be scolded for taking the flower?”

“It’s my own home. Besides, no one would notice if I took one.”
“…Thank you. This flower, what’s its name?”

It’s a pretty, red flower. The only flowers that I can tell are some of the popular
ones, like tulip or sunflower.

“It’s a secret. How about you look it up on your own?”

“Can’t you just… no, never mind.”

She is glaring at me with scary eyes, so I look away without thinking.

“She can just tell me the name…”

It makes me curious, but right now, playing with her comes first. I’ll just look it
up at the field guide when I get home later. Sheltering the precious pretty red
flower in my purse, I enjoy the time together with that girl.
 A Trembling Me
“What a great weather~”

Mother told me to retrieve the uniforms, so I’m off to the store where we had
ordered them. Blue sky and white clouds extend wherever I see, and the great
sun has risen right above me. It’s the perfect day to make an excursion.

“Hnng~ it feels pleasant.”

There’s nobody around, and I stretch my limbs wide. I want to take a nap by the
river during such weather, but then I realize that I’ve just woken up earlier. I had
been taking such a pleasant sleep, but Mother woke me up at noon.

“Well, I have to go and retrieve the uniforms anyway.”

Saving the afternoon nap for another time, I walk towards the uniform store. I
was given a map to the store, but I already know the place since the previous
[me] went to the same store at middle and high school.

Relying on my memories, I walk for a while until I find the place where I
remember it. Maybe because so many years have passed since I was separated
from this town, it took much longer than I thought to reach here. Now that I
think about it, if I add my age and the past [me] together, it’s easily over 30
years… isn’t it…?

(So from my mental age, I’m an auntie that’s over 30 years old.)

Thinking about it gives me mixed feelings. On the other hand, my body is that of
a teen, bursting with youth and energy….. Ahaha.

“E-excuse me—! I am Hayase. We have ordered some uniforms from you.”

In order to stop myself from thinking further about it, I vigorously open the store
door.

*
“…It’s heavy.”

Carrying the large, heavy plastic bags with both my hands, I sluggishly tread the
path home. With this weight, I feel as if my arms will get pulled apart. If I knew
this would happen, I would’ve pulled Saki along even if she resisted. Although,
even if she was here, she would just say something like, “I can’t carry anything
heavier than a pair of chopsticks~☆”

And Mother… she’ll just make me pointlessly tired, so no.

“Uuh… it’s heavyy…”

While I’m confident with my strength, I’m not too sure about my stamina.
Exhausting my energy in no time, I let go of the bags and take a rest. Carrying
that heavy thing have created smarting marks on my palms.

“Haah… I’m tired.”

While I am regulating my breath, an acquaintance comes into my view.

“Good afternoon, what a coincidence.”

“Uhyoo?!”

Jolt! My heart throbs loudly, making a strange sound.

There stands a young girl whom I just met yesterday—the one that resembles my
childhood friend. Thrust by the sudden encounter, my whole body stiffens from
surprise, and I can’t make a proper response. On top of it, my heart is pounding
noisily.

Aah, this throbbing heart… I see. This must be love——wait, no no no no, am I

an idiot?! Calm down, me! Even though this girl really looks like her, she’s a
totally different person in the first place! I don’t have to be so flustered! I shake
off the confusion from my head, and I feign composure. Although I believe it is
far too late by now.
“Umm, g-good afternoon.”
“It seems I have surprised you again. I’m sorry.”
“I-it’s my fault for getting dazed like that! Don’t worry about it! Yup!”

As she apologizes, I fluster as I tell her that she’s not at fault. Troubling her two
times in a row like this makes me feel so guilty.

“Are you out shopping?”

“Yup, I’m on my way home after retrieving our uniforms. They’re pretty heavy,
so I’m taking a break right now.”

I point at the plastic bags on the ground and make a wry smile. She notices the
uniforms inside them, and she looks a bit surprised.

“Those uniforms… are you enrolling in that school?”

“Yes, what of it?”
“To tell the truth, I’ll be going to the same school.”
“Heeh~ I see! We might be in the same class then.”
“Fufufu, I suppose so. Ah, if you don’t mind, I will help you carry the uniforms.”
“Y-you don’t have to! This is quite heavy!”
“My home is in that direction anyway, so please let me help you.”
“Uh… then, I appreciate your help…”

She’s shown her goodwill, and it would be rude to reject her. So, I end up
receiving her help. Anyway, it saves me half of the burden that I need to carry.

“Leave it to me! Then, I’ll be carrying this one…”

She is lifting one of the two large bags, but——

“Upsy, daisy!! ~~aaAaaah?!”

“………”

The bag returns to the ground with a thud.

“S-sorry, one more time…”

Once again, she picks up the bag. This time, she manages to stand while being
unsteady on her feet. She must be forcing herself to carry it. It makes me feel
sorry to look at the way she is trembling.

“A-all right, let’s go!”

“I appreciate your feelings.”

In the end, I am carrying one bag on my own, and the other together with her.
Feeling ashamed, she gives me her earnest apology. Her gesture alone already
makes me feel happy, though. Besides, I am really grateful that she is willing to
help.

We somehow carry the uniforms together, and we finally arrive at my home.

Uuh, my hands are numb, it’s like they’re gonna break into pieces.

“Ah, this is my home. Thank you for helping me.”

I convey my gratitude to the young girl who have helped me with good grace
even though we’ve met just yesterday.

“…This is, your home?”

“Yes, what of it?”

She looks surprised for some reason. I tilt my head, confused.

“My house, is next door.”

“Eeh?!”

So, the one who Mom mentioned this morning—the girl who is the same age as
me—is her? The world sure is small. I look at the nameplate of the house where
she points at, and I drop the bag to the ground.

“Kura…saka……?”

My whole body takes a sudden drop in temperature. My throat feels parched,

and I gulp down my saliva. My fingers, my knees, they’re trembling. Even
though it’s still daytime, I feel that my surroundings have turned dim somehow.
“Yes, now that I think of it, I haven’t introduced myself yet. My name is
Kurasaka Tsubaki.”

She smiles as she makes her self-introduction.

“……hh”

“It didn’t cross my mind that you would be the one who moved next door
yesterday. It’s nice to meet you.”
“It’s such… a coincidence…. I am Hayase Hinata. Let’s get along as neighbors.”

Did I, manage to smile properly? I wonder if she notices something strange

about me. I hope that she doesn’t know that I’m… trembling.

Afterwards, we talk for a bit before parting. Then, I leave the uniforms that I’ve
brought to Mother, and I hurriedly return to my own room. I throw myself to the
bed and bury my head into it.

How? Why?
No way. It’s impossible.

My mind is full of chaos, and I can’t think straight. No matter how I think about
it, I can’t get to understand.

“…Is this fate?”

I put my thoughts into words, and I heave a sigh. Since I’ve come to this town,
it’s highly possible that we’ll meet. Although, I never expected that it would be
right next door.

——Kurasaka.
It could be that they just have the same surname, but I drop that thought. Yeah,
after all, that girl looks just like [her]. There is a feeling that I can’t put into words
welling up inside me, like it’s going to overflow.

“……….”

For the first time in forever, I mumble the name of my childhood friend. My
sound is so soft that I can’t even hear it myself, but I can feel my chest jar for a
bit.

“Wake up, Hinata! How long are you gonna stay asleep?!”

Slowly opening my eyes, I see the sight of Mother (37) wearing the new uniform
that I just brought home yesterday.

“…Aah, so it’s a dream.”

This must be a dream. Yes, it’s a dream… no, maybe it would be more
appropriate to call it a nightmare.

I can’t bear to look anymore than this, so I go back to sleep. I hope that I’ll get to
see a nice dream instead of some nightmare this time.

“Just. Wake. Up. Already!”

Fwap! I am deprived of my futon by force. Sheesh, so persistent. I open my eyes
again, only to see that my mother is really wearing my uniform. Aah, so it’s not a
dream… I wanted it to be a dream…
Hey!

“Why are you wearing my uniform?!”

I suddenly wake up. I am forced to.

“Because I wanted to try it on. Does it fit me? Say, how does it look?”
“No matter how I look at it, you only look like a middle-aged woman doing a
cosplay! Okay? Take it off now!”
“Noo~ Maicching~“
Stop doing this the first thing in the morning, you young-girl-wannabeee—!!
While enduring myself from shouting that out loud, I get up from bed and
change my clothes right away. When I’m done, Mother suddenly comes near to
stare at my face. I step back in surprise.

“W-what?”
“Your face, looks horrible.”
“How rude.”

Aren’t you the one who bore me with this face?!

“My mistake. You look really pale, you know? Did you sleep well? Do you feel
sick?”
“………I’m okay.”

And whose fault do you think it is?——is what I refrain myself from saying. I
look at the clock, and I see that the time is close to noon.

“Your breakfast-lunch is ready. Hurry up, okay?”

“I’ll be there soon~”

Mother leaves the room peacefully, and I start changing. Just when I thought to
leave as soon as I finish changing, I can hear someone knocking the door, whom I
am sure is Saki. After all, Mom would just barge in instead of knocking.

“Come in—”
I give her my permission. While I wonder what it is about, my little sister enters
the room, wearing her new middle school uniform.

“Look, doesn’t it suit me really well?”

Twirl, she turns around once and strikes a pose.

“Ooh— it’s cute, it’s cute. As expected of my sister~”
“Why are you saying it like that? You don’t sound like you mean it… it’s
irritating!!”

Kick!
“Oouch!!”

Seemingly unhappy with my praise, she launches a low kick against me. What
kind of girl would kick her own elder sister…? But I hold myself from saying
anything because it will just escalate things further. Hmm, I suppose it’ll be
better if take this more seriously…

“Yup, it suits you very well. You really look cute.”

“……Ah, I know, right?”

Goddammit, I want to kick her back.

“Sailor uniforms all look the same anyway. It doesn’t look all that different from
your old uniform, does it?”
“Eeh, there are some differences. Look, like this part, or this line over here.”

She is desperate to show where the differences are, but I still don’t get it. Maybe
because I have a crude personality, I don’t really fuss over fashion, clothes and
the like… Besides, I had worn that uniform for three years in the past, so it’s
possible that I’ve grown used to seeing them.

“Haah, even after I try to explain, it seems that Onee-chan still doesn’t
understand.”

“Sorry for being an elder sister that doesn’t get the difference. Anyway, it seems
that the meals have been prepared. Let’s go.”
“You’re no fun—”
Leaving behind Saki, who is puffing her cheeks, I depart from the room.

“My~ Is that true~?”

“Yes, it is.”
“?”

Thinking to wash my face, I am heading towards the washroom when I hear the
voice of Mother talking with someone. I wonder if it’s a guest, so I peer into the
room and I see the girl from next door.

Curious as to why the girl is here in our house, I am listening in to their merry
conversation. But Mother, with her intuition too keen, spots me.

“Oh, you’re finally awake, Hinata. Gee, you’re such a sleepyhead.”

“Good morning, Hinata-san.”
“M-morning.”

She greets me with a smile, so I give her a greeting, too, in reflex. Anyone is
bound to stiffen up when they are suddenly being talked to.

“It’s already noon, though~”

Mother’s sarcasm (in a murmur) is ticking me off for a bit. Well, it’s a common
occurrence, anyway. More importantly——

“Why is Tsubaki here?”

“Oh my, since when did you get acquainted with Tsubaki-chan?”
“I met her on the day we moved in, and she helped me carry some things
yesterday.”
“My, my~ We’re sorry for the great trouble.”
“Not at all. I am weak, so I couldn’t help much in the end.”
“It’s all right~ Thank you so much. Hinata’s strength is abnormal, so you don’t
have to mind about it, okay~”

She’s saying everything without reserve. It seems that Mother has taken a liking
to Tsubaki, seeing how she enjoys talking with her so much. Looking at Tsubaki,
she doesn’t seem to be bothered by it, either.
“I went out to the veranda this morning, and I saw Tsubaki-chan airing her
laundry. So, I brought her in.”
“……You mean you kidnapped her? I’m sorry you had to go along with Mom’s
whims.”
“Please don’t worry about it. It is fun talking to Emiko-san.”

Emiko is Mother’s name. Because she doesn’t like being called ‘Auntie’ by
teenagers, she must have told her, “Call me by my name♪” or something.

“My, my, she’s really a good child, isn’t she?”

“Ok, ok.”

Leaving behind Mother who is looking fascinated, I go to the washroom to wash

my face.

When I return from the washroom, I find Tsubaki sitting in the room alone.
Mother and my younger sister are nowhere to be seen.

“Ah, Hinata-san.”

Tsubaki spots me and calls my name.

“…Where is my mother and younger sister?”

“Emiko-san is in the kitchen. Saki-chan seems to have gone away somewhere to
play.”
“I see, thanks.”

Offering my gratitude in return for her information, I take a seat to her opposite.
After that, I stay silent while wondering what I should talk about, but the silence
makes the air somewhat heavy.

……This is where I should be asking her some questions. Although there is a

mountain of things that I want to ask, what is it that I should ask first? What are
the things that I can ask? My mind is messy and I can’t seem to say anything
because of it.
(Eeih! Instead of thinking too deeply about it, I’ll just ask the things I want to
know!!”

“U, um!”
“Yes?”
“Err, um…”

It’s good that I have broken the ice with just my spirit. But since I called her
without anything in mind, the words that I want to say are caught up in my
throat.

“I mean, what is your hobby?”

What finally comes out of my mouth, is the phrase that is often used in a
marriage interview. I am ashamed of myself for not being able to make a more
appealing question, or at least put in some clever words. On the other hand,
Tsubaki doesn’t seem to mind as she takes a short while to think before
answering.

“My hobby… is drawing.”

“Do you do landscapes? Or portraits?”
“Neither, I am poor at drawing realism. So I prefer drawing characters that
would be suitable for picture books or the like.”
“Heeh— it’d make me happy if you would let me see them next time.”
“Eh, eeh?!”

Tsubaki makes a surprised look, as she turns a bit red.

“Y-you don’t need to show me if you don’t want to.”

I won’t force her if she doesn’t like the idea.

“No, I mean, it’s embarrassing, but I will show you next time.”
“Thanks, I’m looking forward to it.”

I’m curious about what kind of pictures she draws, so I’m happy to know that
she’ll let me see them.
“What is your hobby, Hinata-san?”
“Let’s see…… making confectionery, I guess—”

I’ve tried various things, but due to my fickle nature, I never got to do anything
for long. Making confectionery is the only hobby that I’ve been indulging in for a
long time. At first, it was just me trying to make my childhood friend say that it’s
delicious. But, I got worked up midway; the more I made, the more I came to
enjoy it. Now, I have even started to make my own recipes.

“The cookies that you gave me yesterday were very delicious.”

“Is that so? Thanks.”

Making them is already fun by itself, but hearing others say that it’s [delicious] is
all the more reason I can’t stop.

“The next thing I like would be sleeping, I guess.”

Although I’m not sure if I can call it a hobby, being able to take a leisurely nap
gives me a happy mood.

“By the way, Tsubaki, you live alone with your mom, right? Do you do your own
chores? Meals, for example.”
“Yes, Mom is busy at work, so I’m the one who does the housework.”

What an astonishing story. She’s so diligent despite being so young. I see, now I
understand why Mother likes her so much.

After that, we talk about various things, we exchange our phone addresses, then
Mother brings meals for us to enjoy together.

“That was a feast—”

“Thank you for the meal. It was very delicious.”
“Don’t mention it, it was nothing much.”
“Then, I should be returning home now.”
“My, are you leaving already~?”
“Mom, you can’t stop her like this. Aah, geez, don’t make that kind of face,
either. You’re troubling Tsubaki.”

Haven’t they talked enough? I prevent Mother from trying to stop her with her
grumbling. Tsubaki looks happy, yet troubled from our banter; she is showing a
complicated expression as she laughs.

“I will come again, if you don’t mind.”

“Gee~ why would we mind? In fact, you’re very welcome to, so come here
anytime, okay?”
“Yes!”

Tsubaki stands up, so I follow suit.

“Oh, Hinata, where are you going?”

“To the bookstore. There’s a book that I wanna buy.”

I recall there is a new release on my favorite recipe book today, so I am going to

buy it.

“Was there a bookstore around here? Say, do you know where it is?”

Of course I do. The bookstore in this town is hard to find, that’s why only the
locals would know about it.

“Um, would you mind if I guide you there…?”

“But, you already helped me out yesterday. I feel guilty to trouble you again…”
“The bookstore here is slightly difficult to spot, which is quite troublesome. Since
I am free anyway, please let me be your guide.”

She smiles as she displays her concern to me. Her smile is like that of an angel…
no, the Holy Mother herself.

“Uuh, so dazzling…!”

She’s such a good girl that I can’t look at her directly!

“Eh? Eh?”
“Sorry about this, Tsubaki-chan~ Will you take care of this child for me?”
“I, I understand.”
“She’s in your care.”

It’s too late for me to bring up that I actually know the place. So in the end, it’s
decided that Tsubaki will become my guide.
 Nostalgia
Two people are walking along the street which is lined up with stores. As I walk,
I can see that the vestiges of the past have changed from the scenery that I
remember.

That……… makes me feel a bit lonely.

(There was a cafe around here which served delicious roll cakes.)

It was a place where my childhood friend and I went to, but it has turned into a
coin laundry now. I can no longer eat at the same cafe which had a good
ambience and also served delicious cakes. It makes me feel blue. After all, it’s
also one of the few places of memories with my childhood friend.

That said, I didn’t expect that this town would have changed so much. In the
end, it’s good that she is here as my guide. I think I would’ve gotten lost (and
panicked) if I was here by myself.

“Hinata-san, what kind of book are you going to buy?”

“I’m thinking of buying a new confectionery recipe book today.”
“Fufu, you really like making them, don’t you?”
“Yup. It’s fun wondering about what I should make next. Looking at the process
in books is interesting, too.”

Besides, reading new recipes draws out my creativity, so I’ll be making them as
soon as I get home. Hngg, I’m already getting excited.

“Oh yeah, Tsubaki, do you have a favorite kind?”

“Eh? Let’s see… I love custard pudding.”
“I see~”

I carve it deep in my brain so that I will never forget it. I’m going to make some
for her as a gratitude for her help yesterday and today, too. I’ve made many
varieties of pudding, so I can consider myself an expert in making it.

“After turning right around that corner, we just have to go straight to find the
place.”
“Ro—ger.”
With Tsubaki’s directions, we’ve finally arrived at our destination. It’s the
bookstore where I had frequented. But perhaps because it has thriving business,
it looks neater now. On the other hand, I can see some traces of the past still
remain.

“I’ll be right back, can you wait here for me?”

“Yes.”

I enter the store in order to complete my objective, and I return to her side not
long after.

“……Sorry for the wait—”

“Hm? You didn’t buy anything?”

Noticing how I’m not holding anything as I exit the store, Tsubaki tilts her head.

“The books will only arrive here in two days. This town is far from the city, so
naturally the books will reach here a bit latter. I totally forgot about it.”

Unable to get the recipe book, I heave a sigh. There’s nothing I can do about since
they haven’t got the book here yet, I’ll just return another time.

“That’s regrettable… ah, that’s it.”

“?”

It looks like she just remembers something.

“We have several books about confectionery at home. Would you like to borrow
them?”
“Eh? Really?!”
“Although, it’s possible that you have already read the books before, Hinata-
san.”
“No problem! I’d love to take a look if it’s okay.”
“In that case, I’ll search for the books and bring them to you tomorrow.”
“Ah, I’ll carry them myself. Just contact me when you’re ready and I’ll go.”
“Fufu, all right.”

It’s regrettable that I can’t buy the book that I want, but knowing that I can
borrow some books from Tsubaki brings my tension up.

“Still, you have guided me all the way here. Sorry that it ends up a fool’s errand.
I got to know where the bookstore is, though.”

“Not at all, it’s fun being with Hinata-san.”

“I-Is that so?”
“Yes.”

She smiles as she tells me that it’s fun to be with me. It makes me feel bashful.
I’m happy even if it’s just a flattery from her part.

“Hm? Tsubaki-chan?”

While we’re talking about trivial things, an adult woman approaches us from our
front. I wonder if she is in her early twenties; she looks beautiful without having
to dress up. It seems that she and Tsubaki know each other.

(Still, where have I seen her before, or have I?)

I search through all of my memories, but no one comes to mind. Is it just my

imagination?

“Rumi-san.”

Thump, my heart jumps.

The moment I hear the name that exits Tsubaki’s mouth, the memory of a
precious person resurfaces in my mind. However, that child’s appearance is
entirely different from the one who is standing in front of me. Although… after
taking a closer look, I can feel there are some similarities here and there.

(Yeah… who can imagine?)

In my memories, she was a child who was only as tall as my waist. Well, after 16
years, of course she has grown into an adult. It takes me by surprise that the
small girl has turned into such a beauty.

“Oh, are you shopping with your friend?”

“Yes, we went to the bookstore.”

The woman shifts her gaze from Tsubaki to me, and she smiles. I silently take a
deep breath to calm my heart, which is thumping like an alarm bell. It’s been a
series of surprise from the day I came to this town, I think my heart is going to
stop working.

“How do you do? My name is Hayase Hinata. I moved next to Tsubaki’s home
just two days earlier.”
“I see. I am Sekiguchi Rumi. I am friends with Tsubaki-chan’s mother. It’s nice to
meet you.”

She clasps my hand for a handshake, which gives me this weird, indescribable
feeling.

“Rumi-san, are you going out somewhere?”

“Mhm, Mom caught me lazing around at home, so she sent me out on an
errand.”

I stand beside the two as they have a pleasant chat. I listen to their conversation
while staring at the woman who is taller than me.

“Speaking of which, it’s been a while since I last came to your house. I’ve been
busy with work recently. Is your mom doing well?”
“Mother is doing as always.”
“…I see, is it okay if I come to visit sometime?”
“Of course it is. I’d be glad if you would help me with my studies again.”
They’ve reached a stopping point in their conversation, it seems. They both turn
to face me, the outsider.

“Sorry for disturbing you. I’ll be going now.”

“Ah, no, no need to apologize.”
“See you then, Tsubaki-chan.”

She gives us a smile and waves her hand before walking away to where we came
from. We stay and watch her go for a short while.

“Shall we go, as well?”

“Ah, yup… you’re right.”

I move my feet that has stopped momentarily, and we resume walking home.

“Hinata-san, what was the place where you lived before like?”
“Hm? It was an ordinary city, without anything to boast of.”

It’s more populated than this town and there are many various stores. It’s a
bustling city, but that’s all. Although, it’s where I had been living since I was
born, so I do have some attachments. Also, I can’t simply go back to visit because
it’s quite far apart from this town. It makes me feel a bit sad.

“My house was far from my school, so I had to wake up early every morning. It
was really harsh—”
“Do you commute to school by bus?”
“Mm-mm, it’s by train. Having to go through the morning rush hour was hell,
you know…”

Being buried along with company employees and the other students was the
picture of hell itself. I had to jam myself in a small space, and I’m pretty much
tired out by the time I arrive at my destination. And I rarely got to find myself a
seat.

“Y-you had it hard.”

“Yeah. Do you ride a bicycle to school, Tsubaki?”
“No, I go on foot. I… um, I-I can’t ride a bicycle.”
“……Seriously?”
“……Seriously.”

If I remember it correctly, there are no buses around that area. In other words,
she has no other options but to walk since she can’t ride a bicycle. There’s quite a
distance from Tsubaki’s house to the middle school, it must have been rough. No
matter how fast she walks, it will still take her an hour, I think.

“It’s fortunate that our high school is close… Uuh, you’ve worked hard.”
“Eh? Eeh?”

I imagine Tsubaki walking all the way to her middle school for three years. It
makes me feel sorry for her, and I pat her head as a praise for her achievement.
Although, the person in question makes a confused expression, wondering that it
is about.

“We go same school anyway, let’s walk together.”

“Y-yes!”

She happily agrees to my idea.

Chatting along the way, we finally reach the front of our homes.

“Thank you for today… no, I mean, for all your help.”

I make a quick, deep bow, and she follows suit.

“Hehe, you’re welcome.”

“See you, then…”
“Ah, Hinata-san.”
“?”

She calls me when I am just about to open the door.

“Um……”
“What is it?”
“Are you free tomorrow?”
To her question, I think about my plans for tomorrow. I don’t think I have
anything scheduled, though.

“I’m as free as I can be.”

“Then, would you mind coming to visit us tomorrow?”
“Eh?”
“Ah, um, I want to lend you the books as I’ve promised. I’m free tomorrow, so, if
you’re all right with it, then…”

She looks bashful as she murmurs with reserve.

“Is it really okay for me to visit?”

“Yes, I have visited Hinata-san’s place today, so…”
“…I’ll take up on your offer then.”
“Thank you very much.”

It sure feels strange to be thanked to when I am the one who’s indebted to her.
After making the promise, we both enter our respective homes.

I wait for Hinata-san to go into her house before I enter mine.

“I have returned home.”

Even though I’ve announced my return, no one is here to give a reply. It’s how
it’s always been, and how it always will. The sound of the door closing
reverberates through the corridor. I go to the kitchen to find a glass, and I turn
the faucet to pour some water in. I slowly drink it up to supply my throat with a
sufficient amount of moisture.

…While rinsing the glass, I think to myself.

(I wonder why.)

I was never the type to assertively involve myself with others. I’m anxious with
strangers, and I can’t start a conversation well. But somehow, I can speak easily
with a girl whom I’ve just met a few days ago. Being with her reassures me, and
it’s fun talking with her.

(How strange…)

Her eyes are gentle. My heart feels warm when she looks at me.

“Oh no, I have to start preparing for dinner.”

Thinking about tomorrow, I hurriedly begin preparing for a meal.

My cell phone rings. I peer at the display to see that it’s a message from my
friend in middle school.

“Let’s see— How is it going? Do you feel lonely living there? Are you crying? …
Hey, I’m not a little kid.”

As I write her a reply, I’m amazed by how meddlesome my friend can be by

sending me such a message. Even though she’s mostly messing with me, I can
feel her worry from the message. It honestly makes me happy.

“And, sent.”

I place my cell phone after sending the reply, and I lie down on the bed. I
promised to go to Tsubaki’s place tomorrow morning, so I can’t oversleep.

“Oh yeah, I should take something as a present for tomorrow.”

Tsubaki said that she likes pudding, so that’ll do.

“Yo—sh.”

With that decided, let’s make it right away. I vigorously jump out out bed to
head for the kitchen. But before I can reach the door, I hear Mother calling for
me.

“Hinata— come here for a bit—”

“I’m coming—!”

I go to the living room, and I see Mother and my sister, plus another person
standing beside them. I can’t see her face from where I am, but her black, waist-
long hair is beautiful. She gives off a dignified appearance. She notices me and
slowly turns around.

“………”
“………”

I feel somewhat nervous, maybe because she is staring at me without saying

anything. As a result, the words are stuck in my throat as I stay silent. Mother
notices me a bit latter. She pitter-patters to my side and places her hand on my
shoulder.

“This is my eldest daughter, Hinata. Now, your greetings.”

“Ah, erm, I am Hayase Hinata… It’s nice to meet you.”
“…I’m Tsubaki’s mother, Kurasaka Hiori. Hello.”

No one would expect that she is her mother, with how young and beautiful her
looks are. But unlike Tsubaki, the way she speaks feels cold, and indifferent.
However, from her graceful manner and class, and the shape of her face, it does
strike me that they are mother and child.

“She’s taken the trouble to come and greet us, you know~”

Ohohohoho, although Mother tries to laugh in a refined manner, it only sounds

idiotic to me when she does it.

“My daughter is the same age as yours… please get along with her.”
“Yes, of course. Tsubaki has been helping me since the day I moved in here. I’m
thankful to her.”

“I see.”

Our conversation ends short, and it became the mothers’ turn to talk to each
other. My sister and I simply listen from the side. Mother is talking with a smile
on her face, while her partner indifferently opens and closes her mouth with no
expression.

“Tsubaki’s Mom looks scary, but she’s really pretty.”

“You’re right.”
“I wonder what kind of food she eats that makes her so beautiful.”
“…Isn’t she born that way? It’s heredity, you know. Heredity.”
“No way~ Then, will I become like Mom in the future~?”
“At least, chests are hereditary, aren’t they?”

I look at Mom’s chest area to see a pair of moderate mounds on it. Then I proceed
to look at Saki’s desolate chest, and finally mine. I heave a sigh.

“Aah— I can’t see any signs of them growing at all. What should I do?”
“Just give up.”

While a conversation about breasts unfolds between the two of us, it seems that
the mothers have finished talking. Tsubaki’s mother is going home.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t entertain you much.”

“I should be the one to apologize for greeting you so late.”
“No need to apologize. Please come visit us again sometime.”
“Thank you very much. Then, I’ll take my leave for today.”

Immediately after expressing her gratitude, she goes back home next door.

After that, Saki returns to her room, Mother holds a rice cracker in one hand as
she watches the TV. We all separate to do our own things. I recall my objective to
make some pudding, and I head to the kitchen. First, I finish setting up all the
cooking preps. When I’m trying to break the eggs, I finally notice that my hands
are trembling. I wondered why I wasn’t shaking at all, but apparently I did. Now
that it’s come to this, various emotions well forth from my chest.

(Haha, she didn’t change, at all…)

I inadvertently laugh from how little she changed.

 Reminiscence 3
I frantically turn the square-shaped toy, making some clattering sounds. But the
colors just won’t line up no matter what I do, and so I throw it away.

“Not a chance! It’s too difficult for me!”

She picks up the Rubik’s cube that’s tumbling on the lawn, and she makes a fed-
up face.

“You sure give up fast. How about giving it some more effort?”
“I’m not good at using my head.”
“That’s right.”

Clatter clatter, she turns the cube several times before holding it towards me.

“Eh, the colors are all lined up…”

“You just need to arrange them properly.”

So she says nonchalantly.

“This is so unfair—!”
“Even if you tell me that…”

My complaint makes her look a bit troubled, which is an expression that I rarely
see from her. So even though I feel bad, it still makes me a tiny bit happy.

“With a bit practice, I’m sure you’ll be able do the same.”

“I wonder.”
“It’s like how you’ve been improving your cookies.”

I haven’t managed to squeeze a [delicious] from her so far, but at least her
response has changed to [so-so], recently. By the way, I’ve started baking cakes,
waffles, and other kinds of sweets, too. Along the line, it’s become a fun thing to
do before I could realize it.

“Hmm, but that’s because making confectionery is my hobby.”

I’m not really motivated to do something that I’m not interested in. But maybe
I’ll try since she’s telling me to. The cell phone in my pocket suddenly vibrates.
Taking a look, I see that I’ve got one message.

“…Who is it from?”
“My sister. She’s been sending me lots of them ever since my parent bought her a
prepaid one.”

The content reads, <When will you be coming home? (>△<)>. She’s even
mastered how to use emoticons, how endearing. When I think that she would
send me some unidentified string of numbers when she’s still new with the
phone; she’s been making a remarkable progress.

She peers at my phone, and she narrows her eyes.

“She wants you to go home, it seems.”

“Hehe, my sister’s a spoiled one.”
“How about you go home now?”
“Eh? but…”
“Just go already.”
“Y-yes!”

I end up shrinking away because of her no-talking-back glare. She knows that I
can’t say no if she overbears me like this. How sly of her.

“I-I’ll be going then.”

I helplessly turn my back to her, but then I feel the hem of my clothes being
pulled. I can’t go home like this.

“What?”

Curious, I look over my shoulder. Although, I can’t see her expression since she’s
hiding her face. I wonder what’s going on, really.

Could it be that she doesn’t want me to go home or something? Nah, this is her
I’m talking about. Besides, she’s the one who told me to go in the first place.
“………”
“………”

She isn’t saying anything. So, I don’t, either.

Not being able to move, I stay like that for a while, and we both keep silent for
the whole time. I don’t really get what’s going through her mind. It’s always
been like that. Although, perhaps I’m the one who’s too dull to notice. But still…

“Sorry.”

She releases her grip, I can move around now.

“I need to go back soon…. See you.”

She is returning to her mansion, and I simply watch her in silence. But that back
of hers seems so small somehow, like she’s going to disappear somewhere. I feel
anxious.

That’s why, I softly call… her name. It seems she hears my voice, though, since
she turns around towards me.

“I’ll do my best!”

“Eh?”
“Uum, yeah, the Rubik’s cube! I’ll keep practicing until I can solve it!”
“…Isn’t it impossible?”

Wha- aren’t you the one who told me that practice is all I need?!

“It’s not impossible!!”

“…………”
“……hh!”
“Do your best.”

It feels to me that I can see her smiling a bit. She returns to the mansion while I’m
still in a daze,. Suddenly she’s already gone from my view.
…That day, before I go home, I swear to myself that I’ll beat her time record. I
practice for around a week after that, until I manage to put all the colors in order.
Although, I still cannot beat her time. She does recognize my efforts, but I am not
satisfied with that.

In the end, I never get to achieve my goal. It’s so vexing.

 A Place Next to You
“……san.”

Huh? Someone’s calling me.

“……Hinata…sa…”

I need to wake up. My mind’s already awake, but my eyelids feel too heavy to
open.

“Hh!!!”

Finally, I manage to prevail over the sandman. When I open my eyes, a nostalgic
face comes to my vision. Startled, I raise my body vigorously.

“Kyah?!”

Surprised by my sudden action, that someone jolts back. Then I’m hit with
another surprise to know that it’s actually Tsubaki——I place my hand on my
chest and repeatedly take deep breaths. On the surface, I may look fairly calm,
but my heart is actually beating like crazy.

“S-sorry. I’ve startled you.”

“………”

She doesn’t say anything. She only stares at me with a serious expression. Umm,
could it be that I’ve made her angry? Tsubaki comes close to me and reaches out
her hand. Wait, is she gonna hit me—?! or so I thought for an instant, but that’s
not the case. She wipes some liquid from my eyes with her finger.

“……Eh?”
“Hinata-san, you’re crying.”

I place my hand on my eyes, and I find out that she’s right. It’s damp around my
eyes, my tears have made traces along my cheeks. I didn’t even notice that I was
crying.

“I thought that you were having a sad dream, so I decided to wake you up… I’m
sorry.”
“Nah, thank you. It wasn’t a sad dream, though… it’s just so nostalgic that I
ended up crying, I think.”
“A nostalgic dream?”
“Yup. Maybe I feel homesick.”

It’s true that I’ve been having those nostalgic dreams ever since I moved here.
But, I know that it’s not the real reason.

“Do you want to return? To the city?”

“No, that isn’t it.”

…Well, I can’t return to [that place] anyway. Not anymore.

To quell the gloomy mood, I give a smile to the worried girl. Then, I start
stretching my body. Now that I’ve awakened, there is something that tugs my
mind.

“By the way, Tsubaki, what are you in my room? ——Huh?”

Right after I say that, I realize.

“Aah?!”

I grab my cell phone from nearby to check the time. It’s already past the
promised time.

“Uwah, aaah…”

What the hell have I done! I’m the worst kind of idiot for breaking my promise,
goddammit!! Aaaah geez, [she] had scolded me time and time again in the past,
but why do I still mess it up like this?

“Sorry… I’m ready to commit seppuku.”

“I-it’s okay! Please don’t do that!! Please don’t mind about it!! Please calm
down!!”

Tsubaki gets flustered as she tries to stop me, which cools me down in the
meantime.
“Haah.”
“Um, please, cheer up.”
“Haha, you’re so kind, Tsubaki.”

She’s so kind even when dealing with a no-good human like me. What a good
girl, too good even.

“You know, in the past, I had a childhood friend who’s strict with time. Scratch
that, she’s strict with everything. She’d chew me up if I’m late to a meetup, even
if it’s only a minute. So, I’ve always been trying to be on time… but it doesn’t
really work out.”

She’d get angry at me every time. She would get in an ill humor, and wouldn’t
listen to what I say. But, she’d always forgive me in the end.

“So that’s what it is about.”

“I’ve been meaning to try, you know…”
“I know, it can’t be helped.”

She doesn’t get angry at me for being late, heck, she actually worries about me
instead. Her kindness makes me happy, but any more than this will make me
feel guilty instead.

“I’m sorry…. Next time, I’ll do my best.”

“Fufu, yes.”

Knock, knock. With a good timing, I hear the sound of someone knocking at the
door.
“Saki?”

When I call her name, the door opens, revealing Saki behind it.

“Lunch’s ready—said Mom. Tsubaki-san, come join us if you don’t mind♪ she
said.”
“Eh? But…”
“Actually, Mom has already prepared the meals. It’ll make her happy if you can
join us.”
“……In that case, I’ll be taking up on the offer.”
“I’m gonna change my clothes, can both of you go ahead without me?”
“Yes.”
“Hurry it up, okay? I’m hungry~”
“Okay, okay.”

I watch them leave the room. Then, I get changed in a hurry, before Saki gets
angry from hunger.

“Pardon my intrusion—”

After lunch, I intrude on Tsubaki’s place as planned. This would be my first visit
to my neighbor’s house. Uh oh, I’m getting nervous.

“Over here.”
“Ah, thank you.”

From the front door, she leads the way the living room. It’s wide, beautiful, and
elegant. I feel so out of place, but I reluctantly sit on the sofa after she told me to.

Tsubaki goes to the kitchen to brew me some tea. Stuck here with nothing to do, I
end up looking around restlessly. The room is wide, and because it is furnished
only with the essential things, the place feels needlessly wide. It would be rude if
I look around too much, so I quiet myself down.

“Thank you for waiting.”

She returns, carrying tea on a tray before passing it to me.

“Thanks.”

She’s already made it for me, so I take a sip right away————Yup, it’s
delicious. I can’t really tell which tea is delicious or not, but I can feel that this
one is especially delicious. It must be a good stuff.

“Ah, please wait here for a bit.”

Thus she goes away again somewhere, leaving me alone in this wide space once
more. Anyway, I drink the tea again and calm myself.

(So, they’re living in this large house, just by the two of them.)

Since her mother seems to busy working, is Tsubaki always by herself in this
room? ——If she is, how lonely it must be for her.

“Hinata-san, here you go.”

“Ah!!”

Tsubaki returns with books in her arms, and she places them on the table. From
the cover, they seem to be recipe books for making confectioneries.

“These are the books that I mentioned yesterday. Please feel free to take anything
you like.”
“R-really?! Is it really okay?!”
“Yes.”

I flip through one of the books right away, and I discover so many sweets that
I’ve never seen before. It’s intriguing how even the ones that I know can actually
be made with different ingredients and methods. Reading the steps alone already
excites me, so much that I want to go and make some right now.

“…You seem to be having fun.”

“Eh? You can tell?”
“Yes, your eyes are really sparkling, and you are looking very energetic, too.”
“……Uwah— I think I’m getting embarrassed now.”
“When I see Hinata-san having fun like this, it makes me feel happy, as well.”

Her dazzling smile makes her words that much convincing to me. This is making
me feel sheepish.

“Do the books take your interest?”

“Yup! Can I borrow this, this, and this?”
“Of course you can.”
“Thank you!!”
I’ll read them slowly after I get home later. I store the books that I’ve decided to
borrow into my bag, and that is when I remember.

“Here, eat them together with your mom if you’d like.”

I take out what I had previously kept in my bag—the puddings that I made
yesterday. Rather than just normal puddings, I made two varieties, custard
pudding and cheese pudding. They’re both mildly sweet, and I have confidence
that they turned out good.

“Waah! Thank you very much!!”

“Haha, though I hope they will suit to your tastes.”

I’m getting bashful, so I divert my eyes from her. Then I notice a notebook lying
on top of the table. To sate my curiosity, I open it up without much thinking. I
can find lots of lovely pictures every time I turn the pages.

“Ah, aah, t-that’s-?!”

The moment she sees the book that I’m looking at, her face suddenly turns beet
red and she seizes the book away from me. Perhaps not wanting me to see, she is
hugging it close with both her hands.

“D-did you see?”

“Yes, pretty much.”
“Auu.”

I answer her honestly. Although, from the way she gets flustered, I’m sure that
those were the pictures that she drew.

“You’re the one who drew the pictures in that notebook, right?”
“Yes, you’re right… I’ve never let anyone see it, so it’s embarrassing…”
“The pictures are really cute, you know?”
“T-that’s not true!”
“I’m not kidding, I think you’re really good at it. The pictures seem warm, and
gentle.”

I don’t really know how to say it, so I just tell her my honest impression.
“………”

But her blushing face turns even redder.

“It’ll make me glad if you’ll let me see them again sometime.”

“……Yes.”
“Promise?”
“It’s a promise.”

We both turn abashed as we laugh. After that, we watch the TV, talk about each
other—we had fun for a while.

“You know what, when I was the food sampling corner of a souvenir shop…”

It’s when I’m talking about my middle school trip, I hear the sound of the front
door opening.

“Ah…”

Is Tsubaki’s mother home? I hear someone walking in the corridor and a

beautiful lady enters the room not long after.

“Mom… you’re early today.”

The way Tsubaki talks feels distant, and cold somehow. She had been talking so
lively until just earlier, but I can’t see even a speck of her liveliness now.

“Yes, I finished work early…. Oh.”

“Hello, I’m sorry for the intrusion.”

After she notices me, I stand up and greets her. Now that I look at the clock, I’ve
been here for quite long. It’s about time for me to go home.
“…I’ll be heading home then.”
“It’s all right if you to take your time.”
“No, it’s already late, after all. Thank you for today, Tsubaki. It was fun.”

Tsubaki was making such a merry face earlier, but she looks as if she’s lost a bit
of her energy. I wonder if it’s just my imagination. When I am staring at her, she
smiles, like she’s trying to gloss it over.

“What’s the matter?”

“No, it’s nothing.”

I grab my bag and head towards the front door, and Tsubaki comes to send me
off. I wear my shoes and turns towards her.

“Then, see you.”

“…I’ll accompany you outside.”
“Nah, my home is just next door, you know.”
“It’s all right. I insist.”
“……Ah, okay.”

It doesn’t seem that she’ll take a no as an answer, so I take up on her offer. We

leave the house together, soon we reach my home next door. I glance at her face,
which is looking downcast and meek. There’s clearly something wrong with her.

“What’s wrong?”
“Eh?”
“It seems to me that you lost your energy all of a sudden.”
“……That’s, not true.”
“…I see. Sorry, I must be imagining it.”

I’ve failed to ask her further, so I shut my mouth. It might be something that she
doesn’t want to tell me—someone she met just a few days ago. Also, I think I
shouldn’t stick my head in it too much. We stop in front of my house, and I turn
to face Tsubaki. She doesn’t look dejected anymore, instead she looks like her
usual, gentle self.

“Thank you for going out of your way for me.”

“Yes, see you again.”
The sight of her back as she walks away faintly overlaps with the silhouette of
my childhood friend. My heart thumps as a result.

“………hh”

I unconsciously press on my chest, and I wait for my rowdy heart to calm down.

(Am I just running away…?)

I’ve always been weak at thinking deeply about things. I’m an idiot who acts
before I think. But the me right now is perhaps just a coward who averts her eyes
and flees.

(I can’t stay like this, can I?)

I’ve finally managed to calm down, so I walk to the front door with my shaky
feet. After returning home for a moment, there is a place where I want to go to.
So I end up stepping outside again.
 What Lies There
Relying on my memories, I tread along the path to my destination. I’d only go
there sometimes, and it’s been so many years since then. Actually, I’m worried if
I’m going the right way, but after wandering about for a while, I find the
signboard that I’m searching for. I proceed following the sign, and I finally reach
the place.

——A desolate cemetery.

“It should be here, if it exists.”

I look around and search. After checking the names one by one, I find the one
that I’m too familiar with—carved into the gravestone. I crouch down to read the
engraved characters carefully… it seems that I’m at the right place.

(I wonder what to say… this feels strange…)

I trace the engraving with my fingertip, and makes a wry smile. The wind blows,
and the trees in the cemetery make rustling sounds.

“Hm?”

Now that I take a look at it, there is a flower placed in front of the gravestone. It
hasn’t wilted yet, so it must have been placed quite recently. I don’t know if it’s
the priest, or maybe a visitor, but I’m grateful for it. Both the grave and the area
have been thoroughly cleaned, as well…

“…I wonder if it’s okay for me to give a prayer.”

But that’d be somehow ridiculous, so I just stand still as I look at the grave. It
seems there’s nobody beside me in this quiet cemetery.

“I really died, didn’t I?”

Seeing my past name engraved in a gravestone like this makes me realize again
that I had departed from this world. Nevertheless, I wouldn’t have imagined
looking at my own grave like this. It feels a bit painful to be thrust at by the fact
of my own death, but it’s not as shocking as I thought it would. Maybe it’s
because I’ve been hit by a streak of surprises since I came to this town that I’m no
longer shaken by most things.

I have been reborn as a different person, Hayase Hinata, and I’m no longer the
me who has been dead. But with my memories intact, I am also still [me].

(Why did the memories from my past life linger after I reincarnate?)

Besides, there is only around 1 year difference from when I died until I was
reborn. I thought reincarnation normally takes hundreds of years, like how it’s
told in manga and such.

(Maybe the gods are pulling a prank on me——)

But thanks to that, I’m able to meet the people dear to me again. I’m now living
in a world where’s she’s still alive, as a different person.

(But——)

I close my eyes and I think about those who I think dearly of. After a while, I
decide to go home. I turn away, but that is when someone taps on my shoulder.

“Wah!”
“Good afternoon. If I recall, you are Tsubaki’s friend, Hinata-chan… right?”
“Y-yes.”
“What are you doing here?”

Then, she turns her gaze from me towards the grave. Uh oh, isn’t this a bad
situation?

“Hinata-chan, why are you visiting my Nee-san?”

“……”

‘Nee-san’, huh. Even though she would call me Onee-chan in the past.
——Wait, this is not the time to be lost in thought! How should I answer her!

I’m looking for the words to say as I close and open my mouth repeatedly. Rumi
makes a troubled smile as she stands in front of the grave.

“It’s not possible for you to be acquainted with Nee-san… right? Because, Nee-
san had already been gone by the time Hinata-chan was born.”

She offers a flower that she’s brought with her to the gravestone, then she claps
her hands in prayer. Glancing at her sorrowful look from the side makes me
really feel like running away.

“I-I’m sorry.”

Driven by my guilt, I end up apologizing.

“…Why are you apologizing?”

“Ah?! That’s- I mean, I saw a stag beetle on the gravestone, and I was thinking of
catching it, you know. I thought I’ll get cursed for that, so…”

What a lame excuse.

“So that’s it. You don’t have to worry about it, though. Nee-san doesn’t mind
about such things, I’m sure she’ll just laugh it off.”

“I see…. That’s a relief.”

Catching stag beetles in this era? Although I was doubtful with my answer, it
seems I managed to gloss it over. Rumi looks at the grave with her hands still
held together.

“This is my sister’s grave. You must have noticed it by now, though. It’s already
been 16 years since then…”

“………”

She finally separates her hands. She then reaches it out to give a gentle stroke on
the gravestone… like how I would to Rumi when she was crying in the past.
“She would often smile, she wouldn’t leave anyone in trouble, she was really
kind…. I loved her.”

I keep silent. There’s nothing I can say to her. Looking at my behavior, she
lowers her eyebrows a bit and smiles.

“Sorry for making you listen to this out of nowhere.”

“Don’t mention it…. Although, I’m sure that your sister is happy.”
“Eh?”

My little sister who would always follow her Onee-chan around—the crybaby
girl has become so beautiful and mature.

“Never mind. I’ll be going first.”

“W-wait… kyah!”
“?!”

Hearing her soft shriek, I immediately turn towards her.

“Rumi- hey, nwaa——?!”

“Kyaah?!”

I grab Rumi, who has lost her balance and pull her towards me in an instant. I
was intending to catch her, but I can’t really do it since she is taller than me. So,
we end up falling down together. Ooh, I’m so pathetic.

“Ow, are you okay…?”

“Wah! S-sorry!!”

We end up in a state where I am pushing her down, so I jump out of the way in a
panic. Rumi gets up and beats the dirt off my clothes.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t hold you well.”

“Nuh-uh. You were trying to help me, right? Thank you.”

I’d always been able to help Rumi when she fell down in the past. But now, I’m
vexed because it ends up giving her more trouble instead.

(I’m no longer her elder sister anyway.)

I look at my body that’s different from that time, and I laugh at myself. But, it
seems that Rumi’s clumsiness hasn’t been cured, seeing how she still falls over
nothing like that. It’s so nostalgic and charming.

“Are you hurt anywhere…?”

“I’m o-! …kay.”
“………”
“But, it’s true.”
“…Can you show me your knee for a bit?”
“No… it’s embarrassing… hh!”
“Show. It. To. Me!!”

I already refused, but she forcefully rolls up my trousers and stares at my knee.
The place where I scraped myself is dyed red with blood. I feel a prickling pain
when the scratch is exposed to the air.

“You’re hurt!”
“It’ll heal after I put some saliva on it.”
“You can’t do that. You have to rinse and disinfect it… Come with me.”
“Auu.”

After she ponders something, she pulls and takes me somewhere.

“Where are we going… ow.”

“Ah, it hurts, right? Do you want a piggyback?”
“I’m okay. I can walk.”

It’d be too embarrassing for me to handle.

We leave the cemetery. But after walking for a few, the scenery around looks
pretty familiar…. I have a really bad feeling about this.

After walking for another while, my premonition turns into reality. Rumi stops
in front of a house, so I stop, too. It seems we have reached our destination.

“This place…”
“It’s my home.”
Aah, figures. The planters that are used to raise flowers, the familiar house, and
the nameplate with “Sekiguchi” carved in it… they’re all so nostalgic. It’s been so
many years since then, but nothing has really changed. It’s like only this house
remains in the midst of time.

“Come in, don’t be reserved! We need to disinfect your knee.”

“…I’m sorry for intruding.”

While trudging my feet, I enter from the front door.

“I’ll be back with a first aid kit. Sit anywhere you like.”
“Yes.”

She disappears into the inner room, so I sit around the area as told. My tear
glands slacken, maybe because I’m back in this nostalgic home. There is a drop of
tear gathering in the corner of my eye, so I wipe it with my cuff.

There are no signs of other people except for the two of us, are the others away?
Dad should still be at work. As for Mom, maybe she’s out somewhere. When I
look around, I find a portrait of me as a memorial. For some reason, I avert my
eyes.

“Thanks for waiting. I’m going to disinfect it, so can you show me your leg?”
“Should I take them off?”
“You don’t need to. You can just keep it rolled up.”

As instructed, I pull up one of my trouser leg up so that it doesn’t cover the

scratch. Then, she spills the antiseptic where it hurts without much care.

“Eep!”

Her treatment makes it feels like there’s electricity running in the scratch. Hey!
Aren’t you using too much? This is definitely too much!

“Ow, it hurts. It hurts.”

“Endure it, okay?”

She wipes the liquid before attaching a large band-aid on the scratch.
“Alright, it’s done.”
“Guh… Thank you very much.”
“You’re welcome.”

I put my trouser leg back to how it was, then I stand up. It doesn’t hurt anymore
thanks to the band-aid. I think I can walk normally like this.

“Hm?”

I notice a paper on top of the table. When I look at it, it looks like the question
sheet of a test.

“Aah, that’s from last year’s test. Maybe I don’t look like one, but I’m actually a
teacher.”

“Eh?”

——When I get big, I’m gonna become a school teacher!

In the past, when I asked Rumi what she wanted to be when she got big, she
answered that she wanted to be a school teacher. I think I answered something
along the line of “I see, then you’ll need to study a lot,” to her. I didn’t take her
childhood dream seriously, but she’s actually achieved it.

“…Hinata-chan?”

“………”

‘You’ve worked hard.’ I want to tell her that.

‘I’m proud of you.’ I want to praise her.

I want to caress her head.

But, [I] can’t do all that.

I’m not qualified to.

Not [me].

I raise my hand halfway before lowering it again, then I clench my hand tightly.

“Was it your childhood dream to become a teacher, or something like that?”

“Y-yup, you’re right.”
“I see.”

——You’ve worked hard.

I can’t say it aloud, so I whisper it within my heart instead.

“…I should go home soon. Thank you very much for treating me.”
“Can you reach home by yourself?”
“I’m not a small child.”

I’m still a child if I look from her perspective, but being treated like a child by
Rumi gives me mixed feelings.

“I mean, do you know the area around here? Hinata-chan, you’ve just moved
into this town, right?”

“…I know. I’ve completely lost my way until I reached to the cemetery, so I’ve
fully grasped the area now.”

I give her a smile and raise a thumb to show her that I’ll be okay.

“Hrm, I’m worried.”

Seems that it backfired instead. I’m happy to receive her worry, but I don’t want
to let her see any more of my lame self.
“I’ll be all right.”
“Okay, be careful on your way home.”
“Yes, I’m sorry for the intrusion.”

“Fwaaaah~”

After leaving the house, I walked for a bit before stopping to make a big yawn.

I didn’t expect that I’d be going into that house not long after I came to this town,
I’m pooped, goddammit. Can’t I have some time to prepare my heart first? Still, I
didn’t think that I’d be able to visit that place anymore. So, well, I feel happy.
Both of my parents are away, but who knows whether or not it’s a good thing.

“I’m tired.”

My fatigue is creeping in, maybe it’s because I’ve lowered my guard now that
I’m alone. It’s too much for both my brain and heart, so I hurry home to rest.
 Reminiscence 4
“Ooh, my beauteous? ——princess, whenever I think about you… um…”

“……Okay, cut.”

She looks as if she’s just swallowed a bitter bug as she glares at me.

“Eeh?! Again?!”

“It’s downright unacceptable. Start over from the beginning.”

“I’m not the one who’s going to act as the prince anyway. Can’t I have some
leeway around it?”

Her class is going to perform a play at the culture festival, so I’m helping as her
practice partner. But for some reason, she’s the one coaching me instead.

“You don’t understand, do you? The mood is important. It doesn’t make for a
practice if the opposing role is acting like a pole.”

“Even if you tell me, I suck at acting and such.”

“……haah. From the beginning, please.”

“Okay.”

Her role is the princess who’s yearned by a prince from another nation. I think
it’s a perfect role for her with how beautiful and refined she is. But, she usually
hates taking part in conspicuous events like that. I wonder what makes her
accept the leading role. Although, I’m sure she won’t tell me even if I ask her, so I
won’t.

“Pray tell me, why are you here?”

“I wish for meeting you again. That is the sole reason I have come from the
neighboring… nation.”
I read the script and deliver my lines to the best of my acting abilities. But I
fumble my words, speak in monotone many times, I know exactly how terrible I
am at this. She, on the other hand, delivers her lines smoothly without even
looking at the script.

“No, you mustn’t. You are the prince of our enemy nation, are you not? It will be
perilous should anyone discover you here.”

“Even so, it is my wish to meet you.”

“Why would you face such risks?”

“……um, the horse——”

Smack!
My head is hit with the script. Although it doesn’t hurt much, isn’t it cruel of her
to hit me so suddenly?

“What horse? Which line is that from? How can you make that mistake when
you’re reading from the script?”

“S-sorry. Huh? It seems that I’ve skipped some lines. Umm, my next line is…”

I trace the dialogue with my finger so that I can read it correctly this time.

“It’s because, I love you.”

“………”

What’s wrong? I thought that I’ve read the wrong lines again, but after double-
checking the script, I see that it’s not the case. It should be her line next.

“Ah, did you forget your lines? Here, look——”

Smack!
By the time I notice that I was smacked on the head, she’s already turned away
from me and is walking towards her mansion. What’s going on? Is she going to
the toilet? But did she really need to hit my head for that?

With nothing to do, I read the script again and practice until she returns. After a
while, she returns while looking a bit displeased.

“Welcome back. Are we continuing from where you left?”

“…Yes.”

She breathes in and gets into her role. Drawn by her serious expression, I can’t
help but stiffen mine, as well.

“Dear Prince, you mustn’t. You will not be forgiven for it.”

“This love may be a taboo, but it matters not. I can’t contain, my feelings towards
you anymore.”

I have memorized the dialogue around here, so I gaze in her eyes instead of the
script.

“…No, you can’t. You can’t do this, Prince! Don’t say another word!”

“I’ll say it as many times as necessary. I love you.”

“………”

“Huh?”

She’s stuck again. What’s wrong? Has she actually forgotten some of her lines in
this scene?

“Say——”
Thud!!

“Ouch——!!”

This time she uses all her strength and hits my head with the corner of the script.
There is a limit of being unreasonable. I rub the place where she hit me. I don’t
think it’s going to be a bump, but there is a throbbing pain when I touch it. Tears
well up in my eyes from the excessive pain as I glare at her.

“Ow, gee, what are you doing?”

“~~hh”

She glares me back with an indescribable look on her face. I don’t understand the
reason behind her enigmatic actions, so I have no idea what to do, either.

“Hey, you gotta practice properly.”

“——We’re ending it here today.”

“Eeeh?”

“More importantly, as I’ve told you the other day…”

“Okay, okay.”

She never cares about other people, she’s self-centered.

But no matter what happens, I will never hate her for that.
Thinking that it’s just the way she is, I smile and forgive her.
 Sisters
“Poundcake, banana bread… ah, this muffin looks delicious, too.”

I’m looking at one of the confectionery recipe books that I borrowed from
Tsubaki yesterday, pondering which one to make. There are too many options
for me to pick that I end up getting confused. Of course, it’s after taking the
available ingredients in consideration.

While I’m shilly-shallying, Mother points at one section in the table of contents.

“You know, Mom wants to eat some pancakes~”

“Hmm, I often make pancakes, though. What to do?”

When it comes to pancakes, there are many and various types that can be made
depending on my creativity. I flip through the recipe book and open the page on
pancakes.

“Yup, this can be prepared with what we have at home. Guess I’ll settle with
pancakes then.”
“Ya~y! Hurra~y”

I go to the kitchen and confirm that there are enough ingredients to make
pancakes. I found a banana and some yogurt in the refrigerator, so they’ll go into
the ingredients, too.

“Yosh.”

I add some hotcake mix, milk, eggs, and yogurt into a bowl and beat them well.
Then I peel the banana and crush them adequately before putting it into the
bowl. After mixing them once again, the batter is done.

Next, I apply oil to the frying pan thinly and pour the batter carefully. After this,
I just need to cook both sides with low heat and the pancake will be finished. It
doesn’t take much time, and the ingredients aren’t expensive, either, so it’s pretty
cost-effective.

“It smells good~”

It seems like this one is finished, so I flip it over to see that it’s giving a nice color.
It’s a success. I move it to a plate and I start cooking the second pancake when I
hear the front bell ringing.

“Oh my, a guest.”

Mother leaves aside her laundry and goes to the front door to greet the guest. I
hear the sound of the door opening, then I hear Mother speaking with someone.
The familiar voice peaks my curiosity, so I sneak a look towards the
entranceway.

“How do you do? I am Sekiguchi Rumi. Is Hinata-san home?”

“My, you are Hinata’s acquaintance? Hinata—! You have a guest—!”

(Uwaah…)

Why is she here? With the second pancake finished, I turn off the stove before
heading towards the front door.

“Good afternoon, Rumi-san.”

“Good afternoon. Is your leg all right?”
“Yes, it doesn’t hurt at all. There’s no problem.”
“…I see, thank goodness.”

She breathes a sigh, looking relieved. Don’t tell me she’s come all the way here
just to ask about my injury. This level of scratch would have healed by itself,
even if I left it alone.

“This is as my apology for yesterday. It isn’t much, but please eat it with your
family.”
“It’s too much. In the first place, I was the one who hurt myself yesterday…”
“Mm-mm, that was my fault.”

I hurt myself out of my own carelessness, but it seems that she thinks of it as her
fault.

“Thank you… very much.”

“Yup. Sorry for the sudden visit. Then, I’ll be on my way.”
“Ah, please wait a moment. I am making pancakes right now. Would you mind
having some?”

Rumi flinches at my words.

“Pancakes?”
“Yes, they’re yogurt-flavored banana pancakes.”
“………”
“Now, now, don’t be so reserved. Come in and eat some.”

Perhaps listening in to our conversation, Mother appears out of nowhere.

Although Rumi is still hesitating, Mother succeeds to help her decide.

“I-I think I’ll have some.”

“Then, please come in. It’s not going to take long.”
“Sorry for intruding.”

She enters while looking somewhat reserved, and I guide her to the living room.
Afterwards, I return to the kitchen to finish cooking the rest of the pancakes.

“Thank you for waiting—”

“Wow, it smells good.”

“These are my finest yogurt-flavored banana pancakes.”
“I’ve been waiting!”

Mother shrewdly sits next to Rumi. It seems they’ve been talking about
something… which makes me worry that Rumi might have listened to things
that she doesn’t need to know about from my chatty mother. I place each of their
pancake in front of them before taking a seat on an empty chair. Saki is currently
out somewhere, so I put her portion inside the oven.

“Hm? You forgot to put syrup on Rumi-san’s pancake.”

Mother’s pancake and mine have syrup on them, but not Rumi’s.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. Please wait a moment, I will bring the syrup——”
“Ah, it’s okay, it’s okay. I don’t really like syrup.”
“Aah, I see. Then it’s just perfect.”

Rumi never likes honey, syrup, and the like, so I intentionally didn’t put any
syrup for her. Thankfully, no one notices, which makes me feel relieved in secret.

“Mm— Delicious~♪”

Mother stuffs her cheeks with pancake, looking satisfied as she eats. Hm, making
others happy is the most important, after all. I look at Rumi, but she is silently
eating while thinking about something.

“That was a feast— oops. Mom still has some laundry to do. Rumi-san, make
yourself at home, okay?”
“Ah, yes.”

Having finished eating, Mother left to dry the laundry. She could’ve put away
her plate, at least… oh well.

“Your mom is cheerful and charming.”

“Ahahahaha.”

I let out a dry laugh. Hearing someone else praise my parent makes me glad. But
I wonder why, I can’t be genuinely happy to hear that one.

“Your pancake is really delicious.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

Looking at her savor the pancake as she brings another bite to her mouth, I feel
relieved. Having someone else enjoy eating the sweets that you make feels
rewarding, after all. This is why I can’t stop making it.

I’m gazing at the sight of Rumi eating the pancake, when she suddenly loosens
her expression and smiles.
“Fufu, it somehow tastes like the one that my sister used to make.”
“………”
“I like pancakes, so she would make them for me in the past.”

As she says that, she finishes eating the last bite.

“That was a feast. It was really delicious.”

“…No, it wasn’t much.”
“I will repay you next time.”
“It’s okay.”

Really, she’s grown into such an upright and earnest person. There’s no doubt
that the mature Rumi is idolized by her students at school.

“Now that I’m here, maybe I’ll visit Tsubaki-chan’s home before I return.”
“Speaking of which, you said that you were friends with Tsubaki’s mom, didn’t
you?”
“Yup, I did.”
“…Is Tsubaki’s mom rarely at home?”
“That’s true. It seems she is busy working, so she’s rarely at home.”
“…hmm.”

It may be just my misunderstanding, but the air around Tsubaki and her mother
seems tense. It worries me, it’s like they normally avoid each other. Furthermore,
Tsubaki acts a bit differently when it comes to her mother.

If she is troubled about it, then I want to be of help… but as the third-party—
someone who has just met her recently, without knowing about their
circumstances—a family problem isn’t something that I can just stick my head
into. While I’m pondering what to do, I feel a gentle pat on my shoulder. I look
up, and I see Rumi’s kind face.

“…Get along with Tsubaki-chan, okay? That girl is shy around strangers, and
gets lonely easily.”
“Yes.”

That’s about the only thing I can do.

“Well then, thanks for today. Good bye.”

She smiles and waves her hand as she takes her leave. She must be going next
door to meet Tsubaki now.

I’m sure that instead of me, Rumi is far, far more reliable.

“Well…… I gotta clean this up.”

I collect the now empty plates to the kitchen to wash.

After washing the dishes, I am now relaxing while reading a recipe book, when
Mother comes into the living room. She looks flustered while holding the cell
phone to her ear. It seems she’s in a call.

“Hey, Hinata! This is serious!!”

“Eh, what is it? What’s wrong?”

Mother’s panicking expression is making me anxious as well.

“I think Saki has gotten lost somewhere in town!”

“…Oh dear.”

What’s that girl doing? I lose my spirit and get back to reading. While I’m
skimming through the recipe book to decide on the next confectionery to make,
Mother brings up the topic to me again.

“What do we do?! Mom doesn’t know the way around this town yet.”
“How about you tell her to ask directions from the pedestrians?”
“She already did, but she told me she didn’t understand.”
“Then, how about hailing a taxi?”
“No one stopped for her, she said.”
“Well, that girl is tiny after all… lend me the phone for a moment.”
There’s no end to this. I take the cell phone that Mother presents to me.

“Where are you right now?”

“[I’m calling because I don’t know in the first place.]”
“Then, are there any buildings that can serve as landmarks?”
“[Hm— Is there anything— ……ah! There’s a cow statue! Pfft, its face is so
funny.]”
“OK, I got it. It’s hard to tell you the directions, so I’ll get you there.”
“[Eh, you’re coming here?]”
“Don’t move away from there, got it?”
“[Thankies— Hurry and get here, okay—?]”
“Okay, okay.”

I hang up the call and return the cell phone to Mother.

“Hinata, you know the place?”

“Yup, I’ve been walking around quite a lot ever since I came to this town. I know
the gist around that area. Then, I’ll be going to fetch Saki.”
“Thank you~”

I close the book that I was reading and place it in the corner. I don’t want my
sister to get into a bad mood because of waiting too much, so I make haste to
where she is.

“I already told her. Why did she still move away?”

I’m now at the unattractive cow statue, but Saki is nowhere to be found.
Geez! I told her to stay still already!! That girl is always like that, acting at her
own pace, making me hold my head in worry every time…… Well, that part of
her is cute, too.

First things first, I bring out my cell phone and call Saki’s number. The call rings
for several times before it finally connects.

“Hey, Saki. I told you not to move away.”

“[……hey, I don’t have the…… to…]”
“What are you doing?”
“[……ing ……now!!]”
“Eh? Hey, I can’t hear you.”

Clack! Toot… toot…

“She hung up on me.”

I tried calling again, but I’m connected to the voicemail service center instead. I
wonder if she ran out of battery. However, when the call connected earlier, Saki
seems off.

“Could it be…”

I have a bad feeling about this. I start looking for Saki around the area. But since I
have no idea where she would go, I have no choice but to search randomly.
Sheesh, this is getting troublesome.

(At any rate, I gotta find her.)

It’d be good if it’s all just my bad feeling. It’d be good if nothing happened. I
shake off my uneasiness and begin to run.

“We’ve finally caught up to you.”

“Haa… haa…”
“We’re not gonna eat you or something. We’re just asking you to have fun with
us.”
“He’s right, we won’t do anything to you~”
“…Like I told you, I don’t want to.”

Saki is being chased by two men, and is now cornered in a back alley. Behind her
is a wall that’s too tall to jump over, and in front of her are two men laughing
frivolously.

“Playing tag is over. Come on, let’s go have some fun!”

“I refuse. To start with, you’re not my type. You’re annoying, gross, and
persistent.”
“Haah?! Don’t you get cocky, now.”

The man kicks away an empty can nearby to intimidate her. The can hits a wall
and resounds loudly, before bouncing away somewhere.

“………”
“Haha, she’s frigging scared.”
“You just need to listen to what we say, brat.”
“…Shut up, you lolicons.”
“You–! Don’t get cocky!!”

The moment the man reaches his hand to catch Saki, she evades by a hair’s
breadth. With that opening, she nimbly runs towards the men and gets away
from them. Her small stature saves her this time.

“Stu—pid!”
“Wait right there, you braaaat!!”

Angry shouts can be heard from her behind. She is running as fast as she can, but
the men are still faster than her. Getting caught is but a matter of time.
Furthermore, it is difficult for Saki to shake off pursuit because she is not familiar
with the area.

It will be the end of her if she turns into a dead-end again without knowing. The
reason she managed to escape earlier was because she took them by surprise,
which means that there won’t be a second time.

“What did I do to deserve this!!”

While getting fed up by the trouble that’s uncalled for, she keeps running down
the alley. Even as she tries to find for a way to escape, the distance between Saki
and her pursuers is decreasing gradually.

“Just what should I– mmph?!”

There, a hand suddenly appears and covers her mouth, while the other hand
pulls her body. Like one would expect, Saki, who was only putting on a brave
front, freezes due to fear.

“Mmg!! Mm, mmph—!!”

“Quiet down.”

Perhaps because she hears a familiar voice, Saki looks relieved and slightly
loosens her tense body.

“………”

They press again each other and stifle their breaths. Soon after, they hear two sets
of footsteps, and the two men pass by right before them. It seems the men didn’t
spot them, so the girls give a sigh of relief at the same time.

“What are you doing in this kind of place?”

“…It’s not that I wanted to be here.”

She’s seriously in a bad mood, as she speaks in a low, trembling voice.

“Didn’t I tell you stay where you were?”

“Those ugly guys approached because I was standing there, you know. It’s really
the worst.”
“Saki is cute like me, after all~”
“Stu———pid.”
“Ahaha, Mom is worried, too. Let’s go home.”

I release Saki from my arm. After confirming that the guys are no longer around
just in case, we leave the dim alleyway.
“You could’ve saved me openly instead of sneaking around like this.”
“Now look here— although I don’t look like it, I’m just a weak girl, you know?
What can I do if I have two guys as my opponent?”

I’m not a hero of justice.

“But Onee-chan, you’re doing judo, right?”

“Don’t lump a brawl and judo together. I’m not that strong in the first place, I
don’t have the talent.”
“You coward~”
“Say what you like.”

I’ve gone out of the way to fetch her, but what attitude she’s showing me. Our
princess is really a handful.

“Stupid~ sleepyhead~ lazy bum~ sweets~”

“Okay, okay.”

What do sweets even mean? Does she mean that I’m sweet or something?

“Siscon.”

“I guess you’re right—”

I’m aware that I dote her, so I can’t deny that.

“Masochist.”

“No, I’m not!”

I’ll have to raise my voice and deny that one!! I-it’s not that I’m happy to be
dissed, scorned, or bullied! It’s just that I have a big heart, or that I’ve gotten
used to endure it… anyways! I’m not happy about it at all.

After all, I’ve been dissed by my childhood friend left and right in the past. But
never once did I f-feel pleasant to receive her abusive words! That’s why I don’t
have that kind of fetish. Yes, I’m sure of it.
“I think you have the makings of it.”
“I don’t need that kind of talent!”

I sigh exaggeratedly, while Saki is grinning while walking next to me. That
attitude of hers vexes me, but as long as Saki is safe, I guess that’s all that
matters.

“Thank you for coming, Onee-chan.”

“…Sure.”

I’m Saki’s onee-chan after all.

Various things happened, but we’re finally back here in front of our home.

“Ah, it’s Tsubaki-san.”

Saki is looking towards our neighbor’s front door, so I end up looking, too.
Tsubaki is currently exiting the door.

…Hm? I wonder if I’m just imagining it, she looks downcast and somewhat
dejected.

“Tsubaki-san, good afternoon—”

“Good afternoon.”
My sister greets her cheerfully without much thinking, so I follow suit and give
my greetings, too.

“Ah, Hinata-san and Saki-chan. Good afternoon, did the two of you go out
together?”
“Well, that’s pretty much it. Right, Onee-chan?”
“Ahaha— I guess so—”
“Fufu, you’re really close.”

Tsubaki smiles, as if her depressed face earlier was a lie. Maybe it really was just
my imagination.

“Tsubaki-san, are you going out somewhere?

“Yes, I am thinking of going shopping for dinner.”
“Oh yeah, please listen. We were caught by these weird guys earlier, it was really
troublesome.”
“Saki has always been popular, after all— in various meanings… ouch!”

Her eyes tell me not to say unnecessary things. On top of it, she’s stepping on my
foot. It hurts.

“That happened…? Were you all right?”

“Yup, Onee-chan punched, kicked, cut them to pieces before throwing them
away.”
“No, I didn’t. Your onee-chan didn’t do anything of the sort, okay?”

I didn’t do such a grotesque thing at all.

“Putting the joke aside, Tsubaki-san is pretty, so please be more careful.”

“Eh… um, I understand. Thank you for your concern.”

She bows towards us and leaves. After seeing her off, Saki and I return to our
home, where Mother is waiting.
 My Current Position
I’m reading a book while lying on the bed, but I can’t really focus. The content of
the book isn’t entering my head at all. My chest feels fuzzy and restless. In the
end, I close the book and leave it at the edge of the room.

——I wonder how many days have passed since I came to this town.

It shouldn’t have been long. Although, my memories are hazy, perhaps because
so many things happened in the past few days. I open my cell phone to look at
the calendar, and I notice that the school entrance ceremony is coming soon.
Now that I think of it, I haven’t tried my uniform at all. I’d better check the sizes
later.

“I hope I can get into the same class as Tsubaki.”

I’ve run into a series of coincidences that it should be called a miracle. So

maybe… well, at least let me hope that I can spend a fun school life again at that
school….

I vacantly recall my nostalgic high school memories. I didn’t think much about
anything. I only thought that the fun days would continue forever. But all of a
sudden, my future was smashed into pieces that day.

Am I going to start over from now on?

(…..Start over?)

What am I trying to start over in the first place? The future of [my past self] had
ended. The sorrowful look of my childhood friend faintly surfaces for a brief
moment——Her future is still going on.

This time, Tsubaki’s face, looking exactly like my childhood friend appears in my
mind. It makes me wonder what she is doing right now. Oh, right, she said she’s
going shopping.

“………”

I’m reminded by the fact that Saki was flirted with by two men. Is it okay for her
to go out alone? Although Saki did warn her, the more I think about it, the more I
get worried. I end up calling Tsubaki, but it doesn’t connect. Maybe her phone
ran out of battery or something.

……I’m sure it’s because she is someplace with poor signal. Acting like a
worrywart will only bother her instead.

………

…………

“I-I’m worried.”

If I knew this would happen, I should’ve just asked to go with her from the start.
Since I can’t stay still anyway, I go out to search for her.

“It’s been long since last rode a bicycle~ The wind feels nice~”

I borrowed the bicycle from Saki before going out to search for Tsubaki. I have
no idea where her destination is, so I just look wherever I can think of. I have
gone around quite a few stores that Tsubaki might visit, but I still couldn’t find
her.

Maybe we passed by each other and she already went home. Having given up, I
decided to return home. For some reason or other, I drop by a public park on my
way home, and I spot the sight of Tsubaki sitting on a bench by herself.

The park is empty. I wonder if she is thinking about something all by herself——
she’s only sitting while looking down.
“Tsu—baki!”

When I cheerfully call out to her, she looks at me, surprised.

“Hinata-san?”
“Ehehe, what a coincidence. Have you finished shopping?”

I shift my gaze next to her, and I see a plastic bag filled with foodstuff. It seems
that she’s done shopping.

“Yes, I have decided on what to buy beforehand, so it didn’t take long. Hinata-
san, what are you doing here?”
“I’m cycling, with my sister’s bicycle.”

Chirin chirin, I ring the bell and park this mamachari that I borrowed from my
sister in front of Tsubaki. Although she is staring at it like it’s something rare,
this is only a commonplace bicycle that can be bought from anywhere.
“Hinata-san, you can ride a bicycle…. I am envious.”
“Ah, you told me before that you can’t ride one, didn’t you? …Then Tsubaki,
wanna try to practice?”
“Eh?”
“Come on, try riding it for a bit. Our heights are not that different, so there won’t
be any problem with the seat, I think.”
“Wah, wah, Hinata-san!”

I support Tsubaki as I get her on the bicycle…. Yup, her feet are reaching the
ground, so it should be okay. I used the training wheels when I first started. But
since I don’t bring them with me, I’ll be the one to keep the balance instead.

“Grip the handles firmly and put your feet on the pedals. I’ll hold the bicycle in
place. So don’t worry, you won’t fall.”
“Y-yes.”

The bicycle wobbles greatly when she puts her feet on the pedals, so I put some
strength to keep it steady. I somehow succeed, and I let her feel the knack to
balance herself. After a while, her stability improves, maybe because she’s
started to get used to it. It’s time to advance to the next step.
“Next, try to move the pedals. It’s okay to go slowly, let’s see if you can pedal
forward.”
“Wah, wah! Yes.”

Although unsteadily, Tsubaki manages to go forward with my support from

behind.

“Now, turn. Push the handle bit by bit… Don’t use too much strength. Like
this…”

I put my hands next to hers to teach her how much strength to put in. Although
it’s clumsy, we still manage to turn around. Then we slowly advance in a straight
line again.

After repeating several times, she is now cycling more steadily. Maybe she’s
caught the knack of it. But, I didn’t expect that she would be able to improve so
much in such a short time. Her learning speed surprises me.

“How is it? Have you gotten used to it?”

“Yes, I feel that I have grasped the hang of it.

……I think she’ll be okay even if I release my hands now. I pick a timing and let
go so that she won’t notice. Tsubaki is smoothly riding the bicycle by herself, as if
I’ve never supported her in the first place.

“…Ooh, she’s doing good.”

It seems that she hasn’t noticed that I’ve let go of her, as she is still pedaling
forward diligently. With the way she’s handling the bicycle so beautifully, I think
she won’t have any problem turning, either.

“Tsubaki—! Do you know that you’re already riding the bicycle on your own
—?”
“Eh? Eeeeh?! I, I… kyah!”
“Watch out!!”

The fact that Tsubaki is riding the bicycle by herself comes to her as a surprise,
and she ends up losing her balance. I hurry to support her before she falls to the
ground. However, I couldn’t prevent Saki’s bicycle from hitting the ground. Hey,
I should worry about Tsubaki first. I look at her to check if she’s hurt, but it
seems that she isn’t grazed anywhere.

“Are you injured anywhere? Does it hurt?”

“Ah, I-I’m all right. I’m not injured anywhere. It doesn’t hurt, either.”
“Are you sure? You’re not enduring the pain, right?”
“Yes, it’s because Hinata-san helped me. Thank you very much.”
“No, I should’ve said something before letting go. I shouldn’t have called you so
suddenly, either. I’m sorry.”

She shakes her head when I apologize. Then she says, “That’s not true,” to me.

“It’s all thanks to Hinata-san that I can ride a bicycle now! I thought that I would
never be able to ride one in my lifetime, so I’m really happy about it. Thank you
very, very much for teaching me.”

“………”

I did nothing much, but Tsubaki seems to be so happy, which in turn makes me
happy, too. It makes me feel warm in my chest.

“It’s not all me. You did your best, too, Tsubaki. That’s how you got to be able to
ride it.”

To hide my embarrassment, I pat her head like I would a child. Although, maybe
I’m embarrassing her because she is blushing as she stays silent.

Tired from practicing, we take our time to relax on the bench. I pass her a drink
that I bought from a vending machine nearby.

“Here, are you okay with orange juice?”

“Thank you very much.”

My throat is parched after moving around that much, so I open the can and drink
it in one go. Then, I aim at a faraway trash can and try making a long throw. The
empty can beautifully lands not into the the target, but in the grasses instead…. I
remember that my friends once told me that I had a poor aim.
“………”

In the end, I have to get up and look for the empty can in the grasses. I toss it into
the trash can, and I return to the bench in low spirits. When I sit beside Tsubaki, I
see her laughing at me.

Uuh, how embarrassing. Although, Tsubaki is now laughing cheerfully instead

of looking sullen like when I saw her earlier. I guess I’ll let it pass this time.

“How did it feel to ride a bicycle? Was it fun?”

“Well… at first, it scared me because my feet weren’t touching the ground. But
afterwards, it started to become more enjoyable, and the wind felt good.”
“It’s even more fun when you go downhill, you know~”
“T-that’s quite scary. I’ll refrain until I get used to it.”
“Ahaha, you’re right about that.”

Since she’s just learned to ride a bicycle today, it’s still too dangerous for her to
go downhill. She should experience biking in various kinds of roads first.

“Although, have you never practiced at all before? You’re learning like a
sponge…”
“There was no one who would teach me.”
“……What about your mom?”

When I make up my mind and ask, she looks troubled and frowns.

“Mom is busy with work. Besides…… no, it’s nothing.”

“Um, I’m sorry if I’m wrong. Tsubaki, are you on bad terms with your mom?”

“I don’t know myself. She doesn’t speak much. Even when we’re together, we
rarely play together.”

“Then, do you hate your mom?”

“That’s… not true. I… don’t hate my mom.”
“I see.”

She doesn’t hate her mom, huh. I’m relieved to know that, but it’s not all good.
Tsubaki… although she loves her mother, she thinks that her mother doesn’t
love her. Although I don’t know what that girl really feels, I… I believe that she
wouldn’t hate her own daughter.
“I’m sure that your mom loves you, too, Tsubaki.”
“Does she?”
“I think there are no parents that would hate their own children.”
“…I see.”

I guess she isn’t convinced. In this world, there are parents who loath their own
children—even after they’ve taken the labor and pain to give birth to them. We
both know that. But still, I want her to believe in her own mother. Even if all I
can do is to tell her these flimsy and unconvincing words.
“So… did something happen today?”
“Eh?”
“You were looking glum.”
“………”

I know that a problem between a parent and child is not for ‘an outsider like me’
to butt into. But still… I can’t pretend to know nothing and just leave them be.

“Is it related to your mom?”

She twitches in response. But she stays silent, not saying a word. Although it
makes me a bit sad, I know that it’s natural for her to do so.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me. But, I want you to share with me if
something makes you sad, pained, or troubled.”

“Hinata-san…”

I want to support the people who are precious to me, and those who are
important to them, as well.

“Ussh!”

I stand up vigorously, and I make a smile to Tsubaki.

“Let’s go home.”

I hold out my hand to her. After she gently clasps it, I pull her up from the bench.
“……Thank you very much, Hinata-san.”
“Yup.”

Although I said let’s go home, she doesn’t seem to be releasing my hand. After a
while, Tsubaki finally realized that she’s still holding my hand, which she lets go
in a fluster. Her face is slightly red. Is she okay?

“I-I’m sorry.”
“???”
“Let’s go home!”
“Eh? W-wait for me—”.

With a bicycle in tow, I start walking in quick steps to chase after Tsubaki who’s
already walking ahead of me.
 Reminiscence 5
She would always be there waiting for me. But today, she’s nowhere to be found.

Although it bewilders me how I manage to arrive here before her, it also makes
me a bit happy. Since she would always scold me for being late, I’m looking
forward to see how she will react this time.

“Oops.”

Sensing people nearby, I hide in the long, dense grasses. I look around and spot
the servants in the mansion running about in a fluster. Usually, no one would
come around here except for the two of us…. Something doesn’t feel right, so I
keep hiding from view. I’m sure she is having a hard time coming here in such a
commotion.

“Still, what happened?”

I’m curious, but I’ll cause her trouble if I end up being seen by the people from
the mansion. She’ll get angry at me, too, so I stay still and conceal my breath for a
while until the people go away.

After about an hour, the place finally quiets down. There are no more people in
sight. When I look around to search for her, I see a silhouette slowly coming
closer. Just in case, I keep myself hidden to confirm if it’s really her. It’s hard to
tell because I can’t see her face. But, it’s her.

“You’re late. What happened? I saw the people from your mansion running
about.”
“………It’s nothing.”

She’s as expressionless as ever, but I can feel that she is depressed somehow. I
really want to know what happened, but she rarely talks about herself. She won’t
answer even if I ask. I don’t want her to hate me, which makes me hesitate to
press her for an answer.

Still, I can’t help the feeling that she looks different from usual. I’m worried.

“……Are you okay?”

“What do you mean?”
“Somehow or other.”
“That’s a weird thing to say…”

She weakly smiles, and she looks at me with her narrowed eyes. For some
reason, my body feels stiff, as if she’s captured me with her gaze. Then suddenly,
she grabs my arm, she’s hugging it.

“Eh?”

“………”

“What… is it?”

“You only need to stay being yourself.”

“What do you…”

I don’t really get what she’s saying. I’m confused.

“That’s all you need to do.”

“O-okay?”

I nod to her for now, and she tightens her embrace on my arm a bit. I can do
nothing but to stand still in that place. I’m not able to hug that small body of
hers. I don’t have any gentle words to say, either.

“Your body… is warm.”

……I can’t even understand her worry, her pain, nor her sadness.
 Along With a Lost Child
“Hinata——!! Come here! Fast, hurryyy!!”

I hear Mother’s loud voice out of the blue, and I end up dropping the book that I
was reading. You’re going to bother the neighbors if you shout that loud. It’s
embarrassing, too. It seems that she is calling me, but I really have a bad feeling
about this. I really don’t want to go. Just when I think of pretending to be
sleeping, Mother has come into my room.

“Hinata!! Why didn’t you come?! I called you.”

“Knock first, Mom. So, what happened?”
“It’s terrible! I can’t open the lid of this strawberry jam! Open it!”

——I couldn’t even care less about that, I feel exhausted.

“…What can I do with you.”

I receive the jar from Mom and tries to open the lid, but it’s quite tight in place.
Next, I put more strength as I turn the lid like I am trying to pull it apart.

“Hnngg!!”

Pop.

Oh, it opened.

“Kyaa! I knew I could count on your brutish strength, Hinata!”

Did you mean that as a praise, Mom? I’m not too happy about it though, Mom.

My hand hurts because I was grabbing the jar tightly. While I’m rubbing where it
hurts, I make a scowl at my frolicking Mother. But, since she is looking into the
jar, she doesn’t notice my glare at all. It feels somewhat vexing.

“Hmm, I wonder if this is still edible.”

For some reason or other, she is sniffing at the jar. Really, what is she doing?
“It’s three months past its expiry date, after all~ Ah, Hinata, can you try a lick?”
“Throw it away! Right now!!”

Dear Mother, are you trying to make your daughter do a poison taste? Expiry
date is placed for a reason. Not to mention that it’s already three months over.

Mom argues that it’s a waste to throw it away, so I silence her by saying that I’m
going to buy her a new one. It’s tiring that I have to go out for this, but it’s much
better than suffering from an upset stomach.

“Ah, can you buy me some chocolate while you’re at it? The strawberry one.”
“Okay, okay.”

I get up from bed and grab my purse. Then, I go out as the errand girl.

I quickly bought the requested items and leave the supermarket. I have nothing
else to do in particular, so I’m planning to head straight home and take an
afternoon nap. Spring break is going to end in the blink of an eye, so I have to
make most of the time by lazing around. I want to sleep all I want during the
break, but I also feel like spending time to make some confectionery. If only we
have longer breaks like in summer.

“Hic, sniff, uuh…”

“?”

While I’m pondering about how to spend the rest of my spring break, I hear the
sound of a crying child from somewhere. After looking around, I find a girl
crying nearby. She should be about 5 or 6 years old… she’s wiping her flooding
tears with her small hands while crying out loud. Although the pedestrians are
looking at her with worried faces, they aren’t calling out to her at all. Unable to
leave her alone, I slowly approach the girl.
“Hic, M-mom… ugh, w-where are you…”
“Did you get separated from your mom?”

I crouch to match the height of my eyes with hers before I gently talk to her.

“Y-yeah. She’s suddenly g-gone.”

“I see— in that case, do you want to search for your mom together with Onee-
chan?”
“R-really?”

She’s looking at me with her large, teary eyes, which have turned beet red from
crying.

“Yup. Ah, I know, do you want to eat some chocolate?”

I take out the strawberry chocolate that Mother asked me to buy. Then I give it to
the crying young girl.

“Can I, have it?”

“Sure you can—”

I make the gentlest smile I can muster to give her a peace of mind. The girl’s sad
look turns bright soon enough.

“Thank you, Onee-chan!”

…Yup, it’s good that she’s happy now. She’s eating the chocolate merrily. It’s
Mother’s chocolate though. Well, I just need to buy another one later. Alright,
now I just need to find her mother. But in reality, I don’t even know what her
mother looks like, much less where she would go. It seems that I have no choice
but to search earnestly.

Yosh, let’s try walking around the area.

“Say, do you like being carried in the arms, or a piggyback?”

“Mm… the arms.”
“Okay, the arms it is. Up you go.”
I hold her up in my arms in a way that she would be able to find her mother
easier as I walk. It’ll be easier for her mother to find her, too, like this. I ask the
girl about her mom’s traits, like her hair, her clothes, and I try looking out for
those who match the description.

…Who knew that after searching for Saki and Tsubaki yesterday, this time I
would be looking for the mother of a lost child. I’ve gotten so busy somehow
after moving here.

“So, your mom isn’t here.”

“Yeah……”

We have been looking around, but we still couldn’t find her. I tried calling out
some people who look similar to the description, and I’ve also asked the
shopkeepers, but it was in vain.

“Ah, that’s it.”

It’s late for me to realize, but in situations like this, we should go to the police
box instead. There’s a chance that her mother has visited the police box when she
noticed that her daughter has gone missing. Strike while the iron is hot. With that
decided, I head towards the nearest police box.

“……The police box here had been demolished?”

“Eh? Yeah, it was torn down and moved to another district about seven years
ago.”
“I, I see.”

The place that was used to be a police box is now a beauty parlor. When I ask the
storekeeper, it seems that it was moved quite a long time ago. According to him,
the new police box is located pretty far from here.
Uwah, what do I do now? The girl looks at me, worried, so I smile to assure her
that everything will be okay. There’s nothing to achieve by staying here, so I
decide to return to where we came from for the time being.

“Are you tired? Do you feel thirsty?”

“No, I’m okay.”
“There, there. You’re a good girl~”
“Ehehe.”

While carrying her with one arm, I use my other hand to pat her head. She gives
a pleasant look as she narrows her eyes. Looking at her, I really want to reunite
her with her mother as soon as possible.

“Hinata-san.”
“Eh?”

I hear someone calling my name and I turn around to find Tsubaki there. She’s
carrying a shopping bag, so I guess she is back from shopping.

“Shopping?”
“Yes. Um… is the girl you are holding, your acquaintance?”

She looks as if she’s just discovered a rare thing.

“Mm-mm, it seems that she got lost. We’re looking for her mom together, right
—?”
“Right—♪”

I look towards the girl and we smile at each other. Although she was cautious at
first, she gradually opens up to me after a while. Watching our actions, Tsubaki
makes a charming and gentle expression.

“I was thinking of going to the police box. But apparently, it has moved
somewhere else. I’m lost about what to do.”

“The police box is quite far away from here… Ah, there is a community center
nearby. I believe you should go there instead.”
“Really?! Mind telling me how to get there?”
“I will guide you along the way.”
“Eh? But, are you sure? You’re in the middle of shopping.”
“I have finished. I’m currently free, too. Please don’t mind about it.”

She gently pats the girl’s head as she smiles at me. Really… she’s such a good
girl.

“Well… sorry, I’ll be counting on you.”

“Yes.”

I walk next to Tsubaki who is leading the way. Then, I stealthily take a look at
Tsubaki’s side profile. Her well-featured face looks pretty. Now that I think
about it, I feel like I’ve been seeing her every day ever since I moved here. Well,
our chance of meeting is high because we’re neighbors. But still, you know…

“Um… is anything wrong?”

She’s realized that I’ve been staring at her, looking somewhat sheepish. There is a
faint blush on her cheeks. I wonder if she’s just shy.

“It’s nothing. I just thought that we coincidentally meet each other a lot.”
“Now that you mention it, that is the case.”
“…It gives off the feeling like it’s fate, doesn’t it?”
“Eh? Eeeh?!”
“You don’t have to be that shocked.”

I feel that the faint blush on her cheeks has gotten more obvious now. I didn’t
think that it would shock her that much, it makes me feel guilty.

“Um, I’m sorry for saying a stupid thing. I was just joking around.”
“……Y-yes.”

She looks downcast, like she’s having a mixed feelings about it. Hmm… did I
really offend her that much? I’m reflecting on my actions.

“Ah.”
“Hinata-san?”
“She’s asleep…”

Is she tired? The girl is closing her eyes while letting out a cute sleeping sound in
my arms. She has a lovely sleeping face.

“She must be tired.”

“I guess so. Sorry, but can we walk slowly so that we don”t wake her?”
“Yes.”

We walk at a slower pace to reduce the shaking. Naturally, we stop talking, too,
only walking forward in silence. Although, it will get harder to find her mother
now that the girl is asleep. I continue to watch out for people that might be her.

“Hinata-san, we’re here.”

“This is the place?”
“Yes.”

I stand before a building with ‘Community Center’ written on the doorplate.

There is also the word ‘Receptionist’ written in a paper patch. Just when I am
about to enter the building, my shoulder is suddenly grabbed from behind.

“Yumi-chan!!”
“…..eh, yumi… chan?”

I turn around to find a lady who seems really flustered and tense. She frightens
me a bit… I mean, a lot. I pretend to be calm on the surface, but my heart is
actually beating like crazy. The lady is looking at the girl in my arms, so maybe
she is the mother. This girl is called Yumi-chan, I totally forgot to ask her name.

“Are you her mother?”

“Yes, I am! I wasn’t looking for a bit, and she’s suddenly gone. I’ve been looking
for her all this time…. Um, could it be that you have been taking her into your
custody?”

“Well, I suppose…. Yumi-chan, look, it’s your mom.”

I feel sorry to call her when she’s still sleeping, but we’ve found her mother and
all. I gently shake her body to rouse her. Although, she seems to be pretty tired,
and isn’t waking up at all. After shaking her a few more times, she finally opens
her sleepy eyes. Then, after she looks at her mother with her half-opened eyes,
her eyes turn wide open.

“Mom!”
“Yumi!!”

I slowly pass the girl over, and she hugs her mother tightly. The mother also
returns her hug lovingly.

“Ooh— a touching reunion.”

“…Thank goodness we managed to find her safely.”

Tsubaki and I watch over the reunion of the mother child on the sideline.
Nevertheless, thank goodness we managed to find her mother safely.

“Um, I’m very sorry for the trouble! It’s all because I didn’t properly watch her.”

The lady looks really apologetic as she lowers her head, so I shake my head to
the sides in a fluster. She doesn’t raise her head until a few minutes have passed,
and with some persuasion from me. It’s troubling how she keeps thanking us,
but well, it’s not a bad thing. It makes me happy knowing that I’m useful to
someone, and being thanked is a fortunate thing.

“Thank you very, very much.”

“Bye bye, Onee-chan.”
“Bye bye~”

I wave at the smiling girl as we part. Her mother gives us a slight bow and holds
her child’s hand as they walk home.

“Oh well, that’s one case closed. I guess time for me to go home, too.”
“I concur…. Is it all right for me to accompany you on our way home?”
“Of course.”
Our houses are next to each other, so we’ll be going to the same direction.
There’s no reason to refuse. Besides, walking together is more fun than walking
alone, isn’t it?
 In the Present, in the Past, Never Changing
“That girl looked so happy to see her mom.”

While we’re walking side by side, I hear her mutter those words.

“Yup, you’re right.”

She smiled so wholeheartedly when she reunited with her mother; a face that she
didn’t show the whole time when she was with us. Her mother must have
looked for her child so desperately, too. I could tell that she looked happy and
relieved when she found her. They must be getting along well.

“………”
“Tsubaki?”

Concerned about Tsubaki, I look to my side. She is showing no emotions at all.

Her expressionless face looks really similar to my childhood friend. My chest is
suddenly filled with pain, like it’s being torn off.

“I’m envious. They looked so affectionate…”

I wonder if she is comparing their relationship with her own… She’s making a
lonely smile. I don’t want to see her like that, but I have no idea what to say. In
the end, I remain silent.

“Speaking of which, Hinata-san’s dad is working away from home, isn’t he?”

“Ah, aah, yup. He’s working in Russia. He’d planned to return for some time
when we moved, but he ended up staying. Seems he suddenly had more work to
do.”

“…Don’t you feel lonely?”

“Hmm, I have Mom and Saki, so I think not. Well, I’m already used to be
separated from Dad.”

Dad would have cried if he heard me say that, so I chuckle. Dad looks scary on
the surface, but inside, he’s just a doting parent.

“Tsubaki, you don’t have a dad anymore, do you?”

I say it to her timidly. Tsubaki shakes her head and shows a weak smile.

“Please don’t mind about it…… I heard from Mother that Father had already
died by the time I was born.”
“I… see.”

“That’s the only thing that Mother ever mentioned to me, so I don’t know what
kind of person Father was at all. I don’t really feel like wanting to know about
him… but I would be lying if I say that I don’t want to know at all.”

It’s possible that instead of wanting to know about her father, she just wants to
talk more with her mother. She feels lonely. Of course, it could be that she’s also
curious about her father.

“……Ah.”

Tsubaki looks startled as she fixes her gaze on something. I turn to see who or
what she’s looking, to find a woman that looks very similar to Tsubaki standing
there.

“Mom.”
“Tsubaki.”

Speak of a devil. Tsubaki’s mother calls her name and approaches us.

“Why are you here at such an hour…? What about your work?”

“I left early today, and I’m on my way home… Perfect timing, I have something
to talk with you about.”

“Talk, is it?”

Tsubaki’s expression turns dark right before my eyes. Perhaps she’s guessed the
content of the talk, and she doesn’t want to listen to it. Her mother, on the other
hand, has a nonchalant look as she stares at her daughter. Then, she looks at me,
seeming that she’s just realized that I was there.
“You are… from our neighbor.”
“I’m Hayase Hinata. Um, it seems that you want to discuss about something
important. I will be taking my leave now.”
“I’m sorry about that.”
“See you then, Tsubaki.”
“……yes.”

She answers me with a fading voice, but she doesn’t look at me, only the ground.
After hesitating for a bit, I start walking, leaving the two behind.

…Is it okay for me to go home just like this? Isn’t there something that I have to
say to them? ——For both their sakes. I know that I’m not qualified to meddle in
their affairs. But, it doesn’t mean that I can just leave them alone. My wish for her
to be happy before I died—it remains the same in my heart even now.

I stop my feet, and I decide to turn back to confront the two. When…

“I don’t want to hear it!!”

For the first time ever, I heard Tsubaki making a heartrending shout. Tears form
on her face, and she shows a truly sorrowful expression. She looks hurt.

“Tsubaki, listen——”

“I know. I’m a burden to you, aren’t I? It’s all right. I’ll be okay on my own. After
all, I’ve always been alone all this time.”

She shouts like she can no longer contain the words. She cannot hold in her
overflowing sentiment.

“Just… do as you wish, Mom. I’m not going to oppose or resist you. I’ll only
abide.”
“?!”

She looks terrifyingly impassive as she smiles. It’s the same. It’s really the same. I
didn’t think that she would look so similar. No, that’s not quite right. She looks
exactly the same as her from that time.
“……hh”
“Tsubaki!”
“Tsubaki, wait!!”

As if she has nothing more to say, Tsubaki hastily runs off. Oh no, I’ve got to
chase after her before she goes out of sight!! When I start moving my legs to
pursue Tsubaki, her mother enters my vision. She remains still, without even a
quiver. I peer into her face, she looks as indifferent as ever. But looking closer, I
can tell that she is gritting her teeth……….

I————

If I dilly-dally here, I will end up losing sight of Tsubaki. I’m concerned about
her who is standing still in shock. But for now, I shake off that feeling and turn
my back against her. Then, I start sprinting in order to catch up with Tsubaki.

I have intended to catch up with Tsubaki by running as fast as I can, but in

reality, I’m barely able to keep up with her. Maybe she is actually athletic despite
her looks. Uuh, even though I’m confident with my running speed. Well, I don’t
have much stamina though.

“Tsubaki—— Sto—p!!”

Perhaps she can’t hear anything now that she’s lost her composure. She doesn’t
respond even when I call her name. I guess I have no choice but to overtake her.
Having said that, the distance between us is getting shorter, so I haven’t given up
just yet.
Just how long have we run…? But she finally stops, maybe because she has run
out of stamina. She desperately tries to control her erratic breath. I, too, stop
behind her to catch up with my own breath. It seems that she hasn’t realized my
presence, so I decide to wait for her to calm down before calling her out.

“Tsubaki.”
“Hh?!”

Her shoulders twitch in surprise, and she gingerly turns towards me. After
noticing that it’s me, Tsubaki’s scared expression changes to that of a relief.
Thank goodness.

I approach her slowly and calmly, then I stand in a position where we can talk
comfortably. I’m looking straight into her eyes, but she avoids my gaze. That
hurts me a bit.

“Umm, yup. Uh, Tsubaki, I know that you want to be alone, but…”
“………”
“But, that’s why I can’t leave you. Because, you’re my precious… friend.”
“Hinata-san.”

“Maybe I’m just forcing myself on you, but I want to become your strength. I
thought it’d be better if I don’t ask what you don’t want to talk about. But still,
it’s not good for you to endure everything by yourself.”

“……hh”

“Please, let me stay next to you.”

I gently grasp her hand and gives her a smile.

“W-why?”

“Hm?”

“I-I mean, it hasn’t been long since we first met, has it? Both Hinata-san and I
barely know about each other, right?”

“…Yup, that’s right.”

“Then, why are you doing this for me? Why do you want to stay with me?”

“Hm— I haven’t really thought much about it. I simply want to become your
strength. Can’t I? Or, is my reason not good enough?”

“Eh? Umm, that’s, uh…”

“Besides, I’m not doing this just for Tsubaki’s sake.”

“?”

I thought that I would be repeating the past again. I’m afraid. I don’t want to
make the same regret. I won’t hesitate this time, so that I can avoid the mistake
that I’d made before. Even though I’ve died once, even though I’ve reincarnated
into a different person, I want to do something for them both.

Because, I’ve realized a bit too late that no matter what happened, I’m still [me].

“——I want you to be happy. I want you to keep smiling. That’s all.”

For that reason, I——

“…hh”

Transparent beads of water trickle down from her eyes. Her overflowing tears
arcs along her cheeks one after another, then down the ground. Her tears are
beautiful… is what I end up thinking. I wonder if she’ll get angry with me if I
mention that to her. I take out a handkerchief from my pocket to wipe her tears
with. Afterwards, I stay with her in silence for a while until she stops crying.

……I can’t force her to talk about her problems if she doesn’t want to. But, it
doesn’t mean that I can just stay on the sidelines.

Yes, not this time.

 Because You’re so Precious
How many minutes have passed? I can hear the sound of her taking a deep
breath next to me, which suggests that she wants to say something. I perk my
eyes so that I won’t miss anything she says.

“…From the time I am aware of my surroundings, Mom has never made contact
with me more than necessary. After a while, I realized the truth that she has
always been avoiding me.”

“Mm.”

Tsubaki starts to talk with much pain, so I listen to her solemnly.

“School trips, athletic meets, parents’ day, she never came to any of those events.
Someone else would attend it in her stead. At first, I admitted that she had been
busy with work. But, my mother never celebrated even my birthday.”

“And so, I came to understand that she hates me. But, I didn’t want to admit that,
and to escape from it, I end up avoiding Mom myself without realizing it.”

She cuts off her words and clenches her fist, like she is trying to endure
something from bursting out. After a short while, she painstakingly opens her
mouth again.

“I was terrified. I mean, Mom is the only one I have. I was afraid that she might
leave me. That’s why I didn’t want to know about what she really feels about
me.”

“Mm.”

Nobody wants to be hated. Everyone wants to be loved. Even more so when it’s
their only blood relative, their own mother. Fearing to know about her mother’s
true feelings—fearing that it would hurt her—I believe anyone would feel the
same way.

“As long as I avoid Mom, I will never know about her feelings. It makes me sad
and lonely, but as long as I can stay with her that way, I don’t mind. However…”

Suddenly, Tsubaki’s pained expression turns worse.

“…I noticed that Mom has been seeing a man lately.”

“Eh?”

Does it mean that… the reason behind Tsubaki’s recent gloominess is because
she noticed that her mother is dating a man?

“I’m sure that Mom wants to talk about her remarriage earlier. When I think that
she’s finally going to leave a hindrance like me… I feel so sad, and I ran away so
that I don’t have to hear it from her.”

Like she’s given up on something, she shows a dry smile. My chest hurts, as if
it’s being torn in two.

“I should’ve known by now that I am an unneeded existence to Mom. But in the

end, I don’t want to admit it, I don’t want to know about it…. I feel lonely.”

Her tears that have dried, start welling up in the corner of her eyes again.

“Tsubaki.”

I grasp her trembling hand tightly. Although she looks pale and scared, I’m
relieved to know that her hand still feels soft and warm.

“It’s okay.”

“Hinata…san.”

While it’s lacking in strength, she grips my hand back.

“Tsubaki’s mom thinks of you as precious, you know. I swear it.”

“How… can you be so sure?”

I think about how I should answer for a bit, before I open my mouth.

“Because, I just know.”

“……But that’s…”
“Yup, you won’t be convinced by that. It’s difficult for me to prove it, but it’s the
truth. That person would never think of her daughter as a hindrance.”

On the contrary, I believe that she really holds Tsubaki dear. It’s not really a
conviction, though, since I’m actually half wishing it.

“After living together with Mom all this time, I… I can’t believe what you say is
true.”

I guess it can’t be helped that she can’t believe my words, seeing that I have
entered her life only for a few days.

“Then, wanna try asking her?”

“Eh?!”
“Let’s ask her directly, about what she really feels.”
“………but.”

“It’s scary, isn’t it? Knowing the truth is a scary thing. But, not asking and
regretting it after it’s too late is much more terrifying. I know that too well.”

In the past, I was scared to ask her, thinking that she would end up hating me.
That’s why I never did, I never tried to understand about what she went
through, and I regretted it. Then I made excuses to myself again. I was averting
my eyes from what’s important. Even though I’ve decided not to make her sad a
second time.

“Wanna see her face to face? Then, you should tell her about your own feelings.”

“……Hinata-san, you’re so kind.”

“Eh?”

With a teary, sorrowful face, she smiles a bit while saying those nonsensical
words.

“Aren’t you genuinely worried about my Mom and myself? Normally, I believe
there is no one who would care this much.”

“You think—?”
I turn my face away from the embarrassment, and she giggles. Yup, it’s good that
she’s recovered some of her spirits. I’m sure there is still so much worries in her
heart, but at least she some space to laugh now.

“That’s why, I will believe in you, Hinata-san. I will try to believe in Mom,
because you believe in her.”

“Tsubaki.”

The word ‘believe’ greatly reverberates in my chest. There must be no other

words that feel this pleasant to hear…. Oops, this won’t do. The inner corner of
my eyes is heating up. I secretly wipe it off so that she won’t notice.

“Besides, I…”
“Hm?”
“A-actually, it’s nothing.”
“???”

I wonder why she suddenly looks flustered, but I guess it’s not a big deal.

“I think I will go and talk with Mom. And, I will tell her the things that I have
been keeping in my chest.”
“Yup, go for it.”
“Yes.”

The rest will be for them to settle between their own. The only thing I can do is to
believe in their reconciliation. Since Tsubaki believes in me, I will believe in both
of them, too. From her pupils that are focusing on me, I can tell the strong will
that resides in them. Suddenly, I recall a certain thing.

“By the way, do you know what tsubaki, what camellia flower means in the
language of flowers?”
“Ah, yes. I believe it is pride and joy, and flawless beauty.”
“Why, it’s a really fitting name for you!”
“That’s-! T-t-that’s not true!!”
“…And, it’s not really well-known, but it also has this other meaning.”
In the past, when I was looking up the names of flowers, I incidentally learned
about what they mean, too. That’s why I remember it clearly.

“‘I will always love you.'”

I don’t know what went through her mind when she decided to name her child
Tsubaki. But at the very least, she must have known about its flower meaning.

In a daze, I caress her head. Her sleek hair feels comfortable. This might turn into
a habit.

“H-Hinata-san.”
“Sorry, do you dislike it?”

I stop my hand and peer into her face. It’s the reddest that I’ve ever seen.

“……I don’t dislike it.”

The way she pouts while she murmurs is so cute, that I end up wanting to pat
her head again. I don’t want to make her angry, though, so I decide against it. I
make a wry smile and move my hand away. But when I do, she gives me a
dissatisfied look for some reason.

“Ah.”
“?”
“……It’s, nothing.”

We’re still holding our hands together, but she adds more strength in her grip.
Although it doesn’t hurt, my hand starts to get sweaty because she is holding it
tightly. I don’t really understand, but I don’t think that she’s angry.

“Tsubaki.”

“M-Mom?!”

“………”

How long has she been nearby? She slowly walks over to us, and stops a few
steps away. Her beautiful long, black hair flutters in the air, but her expression
curbs anyone from guessing her thoughts.
“Then, I’ll be going home first…… You can do it.”
“Hinata-san, would you mind listening to our conversation?”
“Eh? But…”

“Although it isn’t my intention to trouble you further, I’m sorry. If you’re fine
with it, please… so that I won’t run away.”

Even though she shows a strong gaze in her eyes, her nervousness is transmitted
through our connected hands. Of course, I would be glad to stay with her, if
someone like me can become her support.

“Okay.”
“Thank you very much.”

She smiles, showing her relief. Afterward, she stiffens her expression and faces
her mother upfront. After taking a short, deep breath, she parts her lips.

“Mom……”
“………”

I feel so out of place, and I have no idea what to do. But in my position, I can’t
really complain.

The silence continues for a while. Then, one of them starts speaking again, which
is Tsubaki.

“Mom, do you hate me?”

“………”

She’s mustered her courage to say those words, but her mother says nothing in
return. She only gazes at her daughter, without changing her expression.

“I, see.”

I guess she takes her mother’s silence as an affirmation. Tsubaki can’t endure the
silence, and she makes a tired up face, like she’s given up.

“Tsubaki, she hasn’t…”

“It’s okay, Hinata-san. I’m, all right.”
What part of you is alright? Your face doesn’t look okay at all, Tsubaki.

Even so, why isn’t she saying anything? What do you want to achieve by making
your own daughter sad? At this rate, things will turn for the worst. That’s the
one thing that we must avoid.

After watching us in silent the whole time, Tsubaki’s mother finally opens her
mouth.

“Tsubaki… I have decided to leave you in Sekiguchi-san’s care.”

“Eh?”
“Wha-?!”

Just when I thought that she finally decides to talk, the content makes me utterly
speechless. Tsubaki is also aghast from shock. However, she discerns something
right away and faces her mother with vacant eyes.

“…I understand.”
“Tsubaki! Wait!”

She must have thought that she’s been abandoned.

She runs off again, and I fail to stop her in time. I want to chase after her. But
first, I have something to say to the one who pushes her daughter away like that.

“………Hiori.”

“…Eh?”

“Why did you say that to that child? Why didn’t you tell her the important
thing?”

I’m glaring as I confront her. My voice sounds low, perhaps due to my anger.
Her expression didn’t even quiver all this time, but it seems to me that she falters
a bit just now.

“That, is none of your business.”

“Of course it is. Tsubaki, she’s very precious to me.”

“……….”

We glare at each other. The fact that her cold, sharp eyes remain the same as the
past makes me happy and sad at the same time. Feeling a bit nostalgic, my
feverish head gradually cools down. I take a deep breath to calm myself.

…Yup, I’m okay.

“I apologize, I got worked up and said too much. It’s as you say, this is not a
matter that I should be meddling in.”

“………”

“However, I can’t keep quiet about this. Because to me, Tsubaki is an important
friend.”

“…You and that child are acquainted just the other day, aren’t you? Why do you
get yourself involved so much when it hasn’t been long since you met her?”

“It’s because she looks very similar to my dear childhood friend. Her outer
appearance, and her current situation, too.”
“………hh”

When she hears the word ‘childhood friend’ from me, her face changes to that of
surprise.

“Naturally, that is not the only reason. I want to help Tsubaki if she’s worried
about something. I want her to smile. And as a friend, I want to become her
strength.”

When I state my intention clearly, she conceals her face, and she avoids looking
at me in the eye.

“You’re good-natured.”
“That’s not true, though.”

I only want to protect what is precious to me.

“If I were as strong as you, perhaps I would have been able to avoid bringing
sorrow to that child.”
“I believe that being strong or weak doesn’t matter.”
“Eh?”

“Tsubaki, she just wants to be loved by her mom. She wants to hear that from
you, and she only wants to stay by your side. That child loves you, regardless of
how cold you act around her…. Because, you are the only mother she has.”

“……hh”
“Hiori-san, you actually love Tsubaki, too, don’t you? …Although, it escapes me
why you’re so cold to her.”
“You speak like you know everything.”

I don’t know how I should reply to that, so I make a bitter smile. But, I know
how dishonest you are, how you always carry everything by yourself. And, if
you really don’t care about Tsubaki… with your personality, you would’ve
thrown her away a long time ago.

“I don’t… have the confidence that I can grant that child happiness.”

Although it doesn’t show on her face, her voice is hinted with sorrow.

“I don’t know how I should act around her. Out of fear that I might hurt her, I
end up avoiding her entirely. Even though I love her, I can’t. All I do is to make
her sad. When that person died, I’m… not confident that I can protect her. That’s
why…”

“Do you regret it?”

I’m not specifying [what] exactly. But it seems that she understands the meaning
behind my question. She trembles with fear as she looks at me. Her face is
pitifully pale. She opens wide her narrow eyes, and her lips shivers without
stopping. It’s not my intention to torment her, it pains my heart.

“No, I… don’t.”
“…Then, you only need to express your real feelings, tell her that you love her. If
you have any worries, then instead of holding it in by yourself, you should try to
solve it together with her. After all, you’re a family.”

It’s simple, but hard to achieve.

“Family…”

“Please hurry and chase after Tsubaki. Please convey your own feelings and
make up with her.”

“…I can’t do that.”

She shakes her head stubbornly. Whenever she decides on something, she will
strongly stick to it. That’s her strong point, but also her weakness. She’s always
been inflexible since long ago. But, unlike the past, I can’t back down here so
easily.

“……In the end, it doesn’t change the fact that you are hurting Tsubaki, even
now. She feels sad because she believes that you have abandoned her.”

“Even so, I can’t tell her for her own sake. She cannot stay with me. It’s for her
own happiness.”

“You don’t get to define Tsubaki’s happiness. That is something that she decides
for herself.”

“……I don’t want to involve her in this anymore.”

Like she’s regretting something, the words that she let out are filled with
emotion.

“Don’t you think that it’s heart-breaking not knowing that the person you love is
in pain?”

Recalling my past regret, I bite my lips.

“If you keep avoiding Tsubaki, you will surely regret it. Both you and Tsubaki.”
It doesn’t matter even if I realize [That time, I should have done this instead.]
There is no way to return to the past. There is no easy way to do it over. That’s
why humans live the present to their fullest.

“You believe that you don’t have to speak about everything. That’s why, you’re
running away from it all, aren’t you?”
“You… how…”

She looks at me in wonder, so I make a vague smile to gloss it over.

“Please change Tsubaki’s sad face into that of a smile.”

“Me…?”
“Of course, you are Tsubaki’s mom, after all.”

She is taken aback as she looks at my face. Like she’s realized something, she
makes a different expression from earlier. Now, if only she would start taking
action already.

“Well, then.”

It’s been some time since Tsubaki ran off, so we really need to run after her soon.

“I will help looking for Tsubaki, too. I will contact you when I find her. Ah,
please tell me your contact info.”
“Y-yes.”

I take out my cell phone and send my address via infrared, and I receive her
contact info from the other side.

“So, I am going to search over there. I will be counting on you, too, Hiori-san!”
“………”
“Please chase after her no matter how many times it takes. That’s what Tsubaki
would want you to do.”
“…yes.”

“I am sorry for my saying all those conceited things.”

I bow with all my heart and apologize. Then, I go in the direction where Tsubaki
had run off earlier. I’m sure that she will be looking for Tsubaki, as well. I believe
in it.

“Wait a moment.”

“Eh?!”

She calls me to a stop just when I’m about to leave. We don’t really have time to
dally, but I’m left with no choice but to turn around.

“Do you… know Tsubaki?”

What is she talking about? Although, it doesn’t take long for me to realize what
she wants to ask. But…

“…I haven’t met Tsubaki for long… so that’s about it.”

Even though I understand the meaning behind her question, I answer while
pretending not to know about it.

“I see…”

Hearing my answer, she makes a slightly sorrowful expression. Then, she heaves
a silent sigh.

“I am not in the position to say this, but I’m counting on you… about that child.”
“Yes.”

This time for sure, I pray that the mother and child will make up. Then, I run
along the road to search for Tsubaki.
 Reminiscence -side Hiori-
Day by day, Mother and Father repeat their quarrels without ever getting tired of
it. They’re so noisy, and repulsing.

I can’t bear listening to the abuse and foul words that enter my ears, so I cover
them tightly. But even so, it doesn’t prevent me from hearing Father’s loud,
rough voice, as well as Mother’s hysterical voice. The cause of the fight is
without a doubt Father’s act of adultery. They’re both already tired of each other,
and they should’ve separated already.

But it’s not because of my existence, their child. Rather, it’s for the sake of
preserving the [family]’s dignity. Those people bear no affection towards me at
all. I don’t have the least of affection to them, either, so there’s no problem in that
regard.

“Phew…”

I really want to go and sleep. However, as long as I haven’t finished my lessons, I

have no freedom. On the other hand, I can’t concentrate on my studies because of
the unsightly quarrel of those parents. As a result, I’m not progressing as I had
intended.

——The Kurasaka family is a lineage that has existed since the ancient past. For
that reason, I, as a child of the same lineage, must become a human being
befitting of my name. That’s why my parents force me to engage in self-study
and lessons. And I follow through my parents’ expectations without complaint. I
only live as I’m told. I detest both my egotistical parents, and my obedient self.

“For what purpose, am I alive…?”

That instant, I answer within own heart that it is for my parents’ sake…. It’s a
cruel, painful life.

Rustle.

“…?”
Feeling that I heard a sound from outside, I open the window to ascertain the
source. I survey the garden, which is rampant with vegetation, but nothing
seems to be amiss. Perhaps it was the sound of trees or grasses, swayed by the
wind.

With that assessment, I decide to close the window, when I notice a small oddity.
From a big tree, I can see a blue cloth jutting out from it. Perhaps it is some
clothes that were blown over. Normally, I would’ve thought of it as a trivial
matter. But for some reason, I can’t take my mind off it.

I carefully check around the area so that I won’t be found by my parents, or the
servants. Then, I place my hands on the window and bend my body forward to
jump outside. My room is on the first floor, so I have no trouble landing safely.
Although if someone sees me, I will be lectured for a week.

I slowly head towards the tree from where the cloth is jutting out. When I look
behind the tree, I find the truth that’s beyond my expectation.

“………who?”

There is a young girl who looks slightly older than me, sleeping so pleasantly
while leaning on the trunk of the tree. The cloth that I saw from the window is
apparently a part of her clothes. I wonder how this child entered the vicinity. The
entryway is heavily guarded by security; only acquaintances should be able to
enter the mansion. She doesn’t appear to be an acquaintance of Father or Mother.
I have never seen her before, either.

“…mm?”

Perhaps aware of my presence, the sleeping girl opens her eyes slightly and
looks at me.

“Who—?”
That’s what I want to know.

But more importantly, it’s a big problem that she’s entered this mansion without
permission. It’s wise for her to hurry and leave before anyone from the family
finds her. There is a high chance that she will be discovered if I send her back
from the entryway, so it’d be better if she returns from where she came.

“Where did you get in here from?”

“I got lost when I was exploring behind the mansion. Then, I got tired and sleepy
from walking, so I was sleeping here.”

Hwaaa, she makes a big yawn, and she smiles impishly…. Her smile is too bright
for me, and I end up averting my eyes.
That aside, I never knew that there is a hidden entrance from the forest behind
the mansion. Rarely any people come to this garden, so perhaps only a few know
about it.

“Huh? I’ve seen this before…. It’s the bi~g mansion near my home.”
“Do you live in the neighborhood?”
“Yup, it’s really close. Not even five minutes, I think.”
“I see…”

She’s living very close to here. It’s strange how we never get to know about each
other. Although, perhaps it’s inevitable since I can’t go outside freely.

“Say, do you live here?”

“Yes, I do.”
“Hmm— but I never saw you at school…”
“I took an examination to a different private elementary school.”
“Heeh, that’s amazing—!”

I can see that she’s praising me from the bottom of her heart, which makes me
feel embarrassed. It wasn’t a big deal, but she still praises me for that. It makes
me so happy that I turn silent.

“Hey, what’s your name?”

“Kurasaka…… Hiori.”
“I see—! It’s a pretty name! I’m…”
When she’s about to say her name, I spot a servant walking by the passage that
leads to my room. They must be coming to confirm whether or not I’m
studying…. Irritating.

“I’m sorry, you will be scolded if someone sees you here. You should go home.”
“I see~ Then, I’ll come again! Next time, let’s talk about lots and play!!”
“Eh? Wait-“

“My name is Sekiguchi Tsubaki! See you, Hiori!”

Before I have the chance to tell her not to come back, she has ran dashingly
towards the trees. She must be good at sports. I’ve already lost sight of her, either
because she is nimble, or perhaps she is quick on her feet.

“What a strange kid…”

I expel a sigh, and I hurry back to my room before the servant comes. That
child… will she come here again? Will she come here for me again? While I
believe that she is going to be a bother, at the same time, I am looking forward to
it.

Ludicrous. What am I hoping for? I have known since long ago that it is
meaningless to hope. Now, and in the future, I will always act like the doll I am
as I tread my life as my parents say. Forever… by myself. Without anyone else.

——Even though that is what I had come to believe.

Following what she had declared, she went out of her way to see me again and
again. I explained about the situation and told her not to come anymore, but she
still did anyway. Thus, I inquired her why she still came here when I already told
her not to.
“Eh? It’s because I want to play with Hiori.”

She gives me an immediate reply like it’s a matter of fact.

“Don’t you have other friends for that?”

“I do, but I want to play lots with you, Hiori.”
“………”

When I cast my eyes downward in silence, she peers into my face, worried.

“Ah, but if I’m bothering you…. Actually, I must be really bothering you. You’ll
get in trouble if they find me, and you have to study, too.”

“I don’t care about all that.”

“Eeh?!”

“It works as a refreshment for me, so you can come whenever you want to.”

“……hh! Yup!”

Tsubaki looks happy as she smiles. Looking at her, my chest heats up. I want to
tell her that I am the one who feels happy whenever she comes to play, but my
obstinate personality prevents me from voicing that out. I didn’t want her to
come, but now, I hope that she will.

I didn’t want to let her in this rotting mansion. But, I wanted to play together
with her. While I had nothing, she gave me a lot of things. It was thanks to her
that I could feel happiness in this home. I spent the sparse free days that I had to
visit her house, or to go shopping together with her. Then, I managed to attend
the same middle school as her…. We were separated by our grades, so we were
together for only one year. But even so, the fact that I could commute to the same
school made me happy.

Since the day I met Tsubaki, my days were fun.

My parents had their disagreements as always, and I hated to hear their quarrels
to the point that I felt sick of it. But more than all that, the time when I could be
together with Tsubaki was my happiness.
 Mother and Daughter
After looking high and low for Tsubaki, I finally found her loitering somewhere I
wouldn’t expect. I normally wouldn’t think of searching here, so I’m really glad
that I happened to pass by this area. While thinking that we must be linked by
fate, I approach her stealthily.

“Tsubaki, fou—nd ya.”

“hh?! Hinata-san?”

When I call out to her, she vigorously turns around, looking surprised.

“What are you doing in this kind of place?”

“Rumi-san told me in secret before…. This is where Mom’s precious person lays
asleep. I visited this cemetery, thinking that I might be able to find Dad
somewhere.”

“I see.”

I quietly stand next to Tsubaki. I thought that she might actually run away from
me, so I feel a bit relieved to know that’s not the case.

“I don’t know Dad’s name, so I have no way to find him. But, when I think that
he’s here somewhere in this cemetery, I manage to forget about my loneliness.”

“Tsubaki…”

She’s convinced that her mother has abandoned her. I can tell from her eyes that
she feels so lonely, and sad. It pains me to look at her current state, and I really
want to do something for her. But, nothing comes to mind. Powerless as I am, I
can only stand next to her.

I believe nothing I say will get through to her, since I’m not her mother. The only
one who can make her smile from the bottom of her heart is none other than her
mother. I covertly use my phone to send an email about this location to that
person…. Now, the only thing to do is to hope that she will arrive soon.
“I’m, all alone now.”
“……That’s not true.”
“It’s all right. I already, know it full well.”
“Nope— you don’t get it.”

“………”

“At the very least, I’m here with you.”

“hh!”

“Just kidding.”

Feeling embarrassed, I make a wry smile. Tsubaki, on the other hand, gazes at
me in astonishment.

“Hinata-san.”

She grasps the hem of my clothes firmly, as she looks at me with moist eyes.
With a hint of sadness in her pupils, her ephemeral eyes look so beautiful. It feels
as if I’m getting sucked in as I gaze at those lovely eyes. My heart starts beating
faster.

Hey, what am I thinking about? Ahem, I force a cough to dispel the mysterious
emotion in my chest. I search for a topic to talk about, but the words that leave
my mouth with ease are out of my own expectation.
“Say, what do you think happens to someone when they die?”

“Eh?”

She looks dumbfounded when she hears my abrupt question. That’s a really dark
question. What am I to say when I’m the one asking, though. I wonder if my
mouth runs off by itself due to the atmosphere in the cemetery, or maybe there’s
some other reason. I think I should have talked about something more cheerful,
but it’s too late for that. Even so, Tsubaki ponders about it earnestly for a while
before giving out an answer that’s very much like her.

“Umm, they either go to heaven or hell, I think?”

“Hmm— I wonder.”
When a person dies, does the soul go somewhere? There are various speculations
from different countries and sects. Only the deceased would know the answer,
but the dead tell no tales.

When I died, I didn’t reach heaven or hell. Instead, I immediately dwell as a new
life in the womb of a different mother, with my past memories intact. I don’t
know how it goes for the others. Unlike me, maybe some people go to heaven or
hell. Maybe they return to the netherworld, or to svarga. At the end of the day,
even after I died, I don’t know the details of what happens after death.
“Then, do you believe in the circle of transmigration? That the dead retain their
souls and be born again as different people?”

“You mean, reincarnation?”

“Yup.”

“I don’t know. Even if people retain their souls, I believe they are entirely
different people from before they died.”

After a short while, she suddenly shows a gentle expression.

“If someone precious to me dies, and reincarnates, and lives in this world
again… if I can meet that person again, then how wonderful it would be. That’s
why, I want to believe in it.”

“……I see.”

When I hear her answer, I can feel warmth gradually filling my heart. It feels as if
she’s pulled out something that’s been stuck within me.

“Hinata-san, do you believe in it? I mean, in reincarnation?”

“……I suppose. I think it’s a happy thing to be reincarnated. I got to meet a new
family, and I also met Hiori, Tsubaki, and Rumi. I had always wondered why I
get to retain my memories… but after coming to this town, I feel like it doesn’t
matter anymore. No, that’s not quite right. From the bottom of my heart, I’m
grateful to retain my memories when I was reborn.”

“Eh? Hinata…san?”
“It’s a joke.”

I play the fool and laugh, and I poke Tsubaki’s soft cheek with my index finger.

“Ah, um. Wah, wah.”

“Ooh~ Tsubaki’s cheek feels soft and pleasant.”

Poke, poke, poke. It feels so pleasant that I have a hard time stopping. As her
cheeks turn redder by the second, I figure that it’s about time I cut it out. So, I
retract my finger from her cheek.
“G-geez, Hinata-san!”
“I’m sorry.”

I meekly apologize like a child being scolded by her parent. It seems that I
managed to make her believe that what I ended up blurting was just a joke. It’s
not that I want to hide the truth. But, it scares me a little if she knows. Besides…
I’m happy enough to be able to stay by her side as [Hayase Hinata].

“Hinata-san.”
“Yes?”
“Will you, stay with me?”
“I’d be glad to. Besides…… hh?!”

I notice there is someone behind us, so I turn my body around. But, the person
standing there is not the one that I expect. Next to me, she also turns around, and
she gasps.

The one standing there, is a thin man.

“You are….”
“………hh”
“This is our first time meeting, I guess. Umm, you’re Tsubaki-chan, right?”
He shows off a friendly-looking smile as he inches toward us. I wonder if
Tsubaki knows about this guy, since she is staring at him anxiously. The same
goes for me; I can’t hide my unrest from seeing someone I truly didn’t expect.

“Yes… I am.”
“I see now, you resemble her.”

Keeping his smiling face, he looks at Tsubaki with his slit eyes. Horrified by the
sight of him, my body trembles. It’s dangerous to let this guy near Tsubaki. Why
is he here during such moments?

“The other day… you were together with Mom at town, weren’t you?”
“Hm? …Aah, so you saw us…. That’s quite troubling.”

He doesn’t look as troubled as he says. So, the guy that Tsubaki mentioned
earlier is him.

“What kind of relationship do you have with Mom?”

“Well, I guess we have an unusual relationship.”

He answers Tsubaki ambiguously, like he’s making a joke. Tsubaki makes a

scowl, maybe because she’s unhappy with his attitude, or maybe she can’t
stomach him to be with her mother.

“I’m asking you seriously.”

“Haha… you really look like her when you make that face.”

He doesn’t care about Tsubaki’s thorny remark, only smiling like he’s having
fun, like always.

“Tsubaki, let’s go.”

“Eh? But…”
“We shouldn’t get ourselves involved with someone we don’t know about. There
are many degenerates around here.”

I pull her by the hand, intending to leave the area. But the smiling guy blocks our
way.
“It’s so cruel to call me a degenerate~ Well, I’m your mom’s acquaintance, so you
don’t need to be alarmed.”
“All degenerates say that.”
“……You say interesting things. Are you Tsubaki-chan’s friend?”

I want to tell him not to say her name so familiarly, but I hold myself back.

“That’s right.”
“Sorry, but I have something important to talk with Tsubaki-chan. Can you go
home by yourself?”
“I’m worried about Tsubaki, so I’m afraid I can’t do that.”
“Haha, it makes me sad to know that you really don’t trust me. Maybe you won’t
believe it, but I’m actually——”

“Please shut up.”

“?!”

“………”

You don’t have the qualification to speak about that. You don’t have the right to
meet Tsubaki, either. When I scowl at him, the smiling guy’s expression turns
meek.

“……You know about it?”

Of course I do. I really don’t want to see the sight of him. I don’t want to hear his
voice, either. He is a guy that I don’t want to meet a second time.

“Hinata-san?”

Tsubaki looks worried because I’m acting differently. So, I fix my smile and tell
her that everything is okay.

“Hmm… they really come prepared. I expect no less of the talented lady that’s
affiliated with the old family. I didn’t think that they would employ even a
child.”

“……”
“Though, I don’t think there’s anything a child like you can do.”

He still has the composure to smile as he says that. I stand in front of Tsubaki to
block his view.

“Somehow, looking at you reminds me of that foolish girl…. That girl had
protected her, like what you’re doing now.”

“And yet, you ran away.”

“hh?!”

He grumbled in a low voice, and he looks at me in shock. In place of his

composure, his face now shows great confusion.

“You, what did you just…?!”

He takes a step back, like he’s trying to run. But he can’t take his eyes off me.

“It’s not as you think. I didn’t hear anything from Hiori at all.”

I just keep my emotions flowing into words.

“Then how did you know?! Just how much do you know?!”
“Who can say? What if I tell you that, I know about everything?”
“………hh?!”

The guy grimaces, like he’s mortified after recognizing my ill humor. He then
breathes out and regain his calm.

“…..Tsk, I didn’t expect this. I thought it would go well without problem.”

He might have thought that no one heard his mumbling, but his voice reaches
my ears properly. I don’t know what he’s scheming, but I won’t let it go as he
wants. I’ll be the one to protect both Tsubaki and Hiori.

“Tsubaki!!!”
“Mom…”

Hiori finally arrives in a hurry. But she turns pale as soon as she notices the man
that’s with us. She sends him a sharp glare.

“What are you doing here?!!”

“Oops, your mom is here. See ya, Tsubaki-chan. We’ll talk another time…. That
goes to you, too, Hiori.”

The guy walks pass us and leaves. Hiori and I watch his retreating figure in
silence.

“Mom, that man……”

“It’s better if you don’t know about it….”

She is talking like she’s level-headed, but it’s clear that she’s hiding the unrest in
her heart. I’m also having a hard time suppressing my welling anger and regret.

“……You’re right. I know that it’s none of my business…”

She hangs her head, and the voice that she lets out is barely audible. It’s a sight
that is painful to look at.

“Tsubaki…”
“But still, I want to know.”
“………”

“It’s scary to know about the truth. But, I don’t want to regret it just because I’m
too afraid to ask. That’s why… Mom, please tell me the truth. I’m prepared to
accept it…”

She raises her face, and she looks straight into her mother’s eyes. Tsubaki’s
expression is filled with resolve. Looking at her daughter, although she looks
sad, a faint smile shows on the parent’s visage.
“Although I never did anything for you all this time, you still grew up to be
honest and strong…. I wonder if it’s thanks to the Sekiguchis and Rumi-chan.”

She narrows her eyes, and looks at her daughter with pride.

“There are things that you are better off not knowing. But even so, do you still
want to know the truth?”

“…Regardless if you bear enmity towards me, even if you think of me as an

existence you don’t care about, I will still love you, Mom. No matter what
happens, I love you.”

Listening to those words, Hiori lets out a heavy sigh.

“That man…… is your father.”

“…eh?”
“…………”
“He isn’t… the partner for your second marriage? Besides, you told me before
that dad had passed away…”

Tsubaki is shaken by the truth that is different from what she has believed.
Looking at her state, Hiori seems to be unable to continue talking. Maybe she is
unsure about how she can explain it well.

“It’s the same thing. Although it’s true that you are the child between that man
and I, I never recognize him as your father.”

“Why…?”
“That’s…”
At her hesitation, she is at a loss for words. To speak about something that she
has hidden for a long time requires great resolve and courage. Without pressing
for Hiori’s answer, Tsubaki chooses to wait in silence.

“Because that man, isn’t someone whom I ever loved.”

“………”
“And, instead of protecting you, he forsook you, and escaped. There’s no way I
could ever tell you that the likes of him was your father.”

She spits out those words, without the slightest intention to hide her
exasperation. It’s plain to see what she thinks of that guy.

“Then, the one that lies asleep in this cemetery, Mom’s precious person…”
“Yes… “she” is the one who protected both you and me in place of that man.”

We approach a tomb that’s not far from here, and I look at it before my eyes. On
the gravestone is etched, [Sekiguchi Family].

“Sekiguchi… could it be Rumi-san’s…”

“Yes, this tomb is where her Onee-san lies asleep.”

Hiori doesn’t avert her eyes from the tombstone as she talks in a calm voice.
Although she appears to be speaking firmly, her voice sounds hoarse. For a
while, she caresses the tombstone gently, and affectionately, and she closes her
eyes. Then, seemingly discovered her determination, she opens her mouth.

“…I didn’t intend to give birth to you.”

“hh?!”

Noticing that Tsubaki has turned limp next to me, I hurry to support her. Of
course, anyone would be shocked to hear those words from their own parents.
Hiori weakly opens her eyes and speaks as if in repentance.
“I didn’t have the confidence, to raise you, to protect you, to love you. I believed
that I didn’t have the ability to give you happiness. Even now, I feel the same
way.”

“Then! Why did you give birth to me?! That’s too irresponsible of you!”
“……It’s because of her. This person had risked her life to protect us both.”

She slowly traces the name that is etched in the tombstone horizontally with her
fingers.

“I had a childhood friend. She was absent-minded in some respects, slovenly

with time, and foolish. But despite her gentle and timid look, her heart was
stronger than anyone. That’s the kind of person she was.”

Perhaps recalling the past, her eyes are directed at a place far away from here.

“I had intended to hide my pregnancy from anyone. But eventually, my weak

self ended up depending on her…. She was too kind for her own good, and she
gave her everything to protect me.”

“………”
“You are a life that she protected using her own. That’s why I decided to give
birth to you. I believed that was my duty…… but…”

She finally turns her gaze from the tombstone to look at her own daughter. Her
gentle expression, her warm gaze, it’s truly the face of a mother.

“When you were born, I was so glad that I shed some tears. Looking at you while
I was holding you in my arms gave warmth to my heart. You were so darling
when you called me Mom…. You were a blessing, and I was grateful that you
were born.”

“Mom…”

“When I lost my dear childhood friend, as well as the meaning of my life, you
gave me plenty of happiness.”

“But, you are so precious to me that I grew scared. I didn’t have the confidence. I
was afraid that I would hurt you, lose you, more than anything in this world.
After losing that person, I have become weak, a coward. That’s why I didn’t
want to lose you, like how it happened with her.”

She looks worn out, as she smiles in self-derision.

“I was running away from you. I was running away from my own feelings. I
convinced myself that it’d be best to leave you in the care of my acquaintance’s
family for your sake. Without realizing, that it would hurt you even more.”

“I’m sorry….. I’m sorry, Mom.”

“Tsubaki?”

“I was running away, too. I made my own assumptions instead of believing in

you.”

“You’re not at fault. It’s all because of my obstinacy, trying to carry everything in
my arms.”

Feeling remorse of her past, she continues speaking. By letting out everything
that she’s been holding until now, although it’s hard, she looks refreshed.

“Even though everyone opposed… when I was bearing you in my womb, there
was a person who wished for you to be born.”

Hiori points at the name that is etched on the tombstone. Tsubaki peers in for a
look, and she raises her voice in surprise.

“Sekiguchi… Tsubaki?”

“I received your name from this person, the one who had waited eagerly for
your birth as if you were her own child; my precious person.”

“This person… protected me?”

“When I said that I didn’t have the confidence to raise you, she told me, ‘Then I’ll
raise be the one to raise her!’ you know. She made me realize that ‘I wanted you
to be born,’ a feeling that I didn’t even come to realize myself. She was usually
thickheaded, but when it came down to it, she was the sharp one.”
Astonished, she breathes a small sigh.

“There were people who wished for me to be born…”

“That’s right.”

“Mom, do you think that, it’s good for me, to be born?”

“Of course.”

“Mom, do you, love me?”

“To me, you’re more important than anyone else, my irreplaceable daughter.”

“I, see. Aha, ahaha…”

Large drops of tears start to spill from Tsubaki’s eyes. But without wiping them,
she only fixes her eyes on the tomb in front of her. Then, her mother hugs her
from behind in silence.

“I’m sorry for all the detours that I took. I’m not going to ask for your
forgiveness. But, if you’re still willing to believe in me…… I want you to stay
next to me.”

Her voice is trembling, like she’s squeezing out her entire feelings.

“Yes, of course. After all, no matter what happens, you are my Mom. I will
always love you.”

She displays the most cheerful smile I’ve ever seen, and she holds her mother’s
arm that’s hugging her. Hiori looks at her daughter like she is the most valuable
treasure in the whole world. After colliding their opposing thoughts, it seems
they have managed to reconcile just fine.

They’re going to be all right now. I turn my back from the sight of the lovely
parent and child, and I quietly leave the place so that they won’t notice.

……An [outsider] should go home without intruding them.

*

I slowly release her from my embrace. When I look at the weeping face of my
beloved daughter, she shyly smiles. I wonder how much time has passed since I
last saw her cry. I deeply regret having run away from this child all this time. I
want to stay with her like this until the end of time, without having to think
about anything. However, it’s a wish that can’t be done. Thus, I renew my
feelings, and I brace myself.

“Tsubaki, I must attend to an important matter after this… so, stay at Sekiguchi-
san’s house for today. I already contacted Rumi-chan about it.”

“Eh? But……”
“It’s all right. I’ll be sure to come and fetch you tomorrow.”
“Y-yes! I understand.”

She’s making a sad face. But when I caress her head, she looks happy as she
smiles bashfully. In order for me to stay by her side and protect her, there are
various things that I need to settle.

“H-huh? Hinata-san is gone.”

“…I suppose she didn’t want to bother us and went home. It seemed to me that
she is a really wise girl.”
“I see…”
“After all the trouble that we’ve caused, let’s visit her tomorrow to give our
gratitude.”
“Yes.”
“Go on home, before it gets dark.”

I tell Tsubaki to go home ahead of me, and I remain by myself in the desolate
cemetery. After visiting this place every week, I have grown accustomed to this
scenery. But today, the place looks different from how I remember it.
And…

“I went through the roundabout way, but that child and I have finally faced each
other.”

I stand still in the quiet cemetery as I talk to her tombstone. Naturally, no one
gives me a reply.

“Thank you, for watching over us.”

Whenever I come to visit this place, to see this tombstone, I feel anguished… but
it’s fine. This pain is proof that I’m thinking of you, as well as the punishment
that I have to bear. Perhaps my tears had been flowing for too long, I can’t
remember having cried in the past several years.

“I didn’t bring any presents today, but don’t go into a bad mood because of
that.”

I always bring her the sweets that she loved, but I hope that she will pardon me
for today.

“That child has grown big, don’t you think? The first time I brought her to meet
you was when she was still small after all.”

The small life that she protected has grown big and healthy. Even without the
proper skinship between parent and child, she still grew up to be honest and
kind. Without a doubt, I have her sister to thank for that.

“I’m sorry for everything. Although maybe it’s too late for this… from now on,
as her mother, I will stay with that child and watch over her.”

I’m sure she would be angry at me in earnest, but afterwards, she would smile
and kindly forgive me. I can easily picture it in my mind. Her surprised face, her
troubled face, her sad face, her laughing face, even after sixteen years, I can still
remember vividly.

I will never forget. There’s no way I can forget.

“I want to meet you… Tsubaki.”

I spoke the words that must never be said. I was the one who drove her to her
death. How am I in any position to say that now? I can no longer see her, nor can
I touch her, and the fault lies with me. How many times I have pondered that I
don’t have the right to live. How many times, I have despaired. My chest hurts,
like it’s bursting open, and this sense of loss will never vanish…….

What bound me to this world after losing her, was my daughter. The moment
that child was born, this cold, suffocating world felt so warm. It’s because of my
daughter, that I remain alive in this world. That person has protected even my
future. But despite all that, I only think of myself, and I keep hurting that child.
In truth, I don’t have the right to face you.

“I will properly, make that child happy. That, I promise.”

I gently kiss the tombstone, and its coldness transmits to my lips.

“I… will come again. Next time, I will come together with that child.”

I softly stroke the tombstone. Afterward, I take out my cell phone and taps on the
number which remains in my log. After a few calling tones, I can hear the
unpleasant voice from the other side. I breathe a small sigh and announce my
business right after.

*
“I’m home—”

Taking off my shoes, I enter my home. Mother, noticing that I have returned,
appears from the inner room. Her slippers make a pitter-patter sound.

“Welcome home—! You were out late.”

“…Sorry. Here, the things that you asked.”

I hand over the shopping bag to Mother. I remembered to buy some chocolate to
replace the one that I had given to the lost girl, so there’s no reason for her to get
angry. I’m tired from all the things that happened today, so I feel like sleeping
already. To tell the truth, my body is so heavy that it’s difficult for me to keep
standing. I pass by Mom in order to return to my room, but she suddenly pulls
my arm towards her. Since it happened without warning, my heart leaps in
shock.

“…M-Mom?”

“Hey… did something happen?”

She asks me with a serious expression, which is unusual for her. It seems that I
can’t answer her with a joke.

“No, nothing happened.”

There’s no way I can tell her about Tsubaki’s affairs, so I deceive her with my
usual expression. With a sad, lonely, sorrowful eyes, Mother looks at me. Why is
she making that kind of face?

“You were always the bright one, you could do anything alone… you were a
child who always listened to others.”
“I wasn’t cute at all, was I?”

When I gained my awareness of things, even though I regained my past

memories, I intended to behave like a child. But, I guess I was seen through. I’ve
always done anything alone. I knew about things without having to be taught.
To my parents who wanted to spoil me, I was certainly a child without any cute
aspects. Maybe in reaction to that, when Saki was born, both my parents spoiled
her rotten. Ultimately, the pampered child grew up to be selfish, doing things at
her own pace.

“Like a black kite gives birth to a hawk1, is what Dad and I felt. We were foolish
to think that way.”
“I’m quite foolish myself, you know.”
“My.”
1
An expression when a genius child is born of perfectly ordinary parents.
When I look at Mother cracking up animatedly, I feel relieved. I know that
Mother looks best when she is smiling.

“Hinata, you always carry everything by yourself. Of course that makes you
foolish.”
“………”
“Now stop making that lonely face, as if you’re a child that’s been thrown away.
You’re not supposed to say that nothing happened.”

She flicks me on the forehead. It isn’t strong, but it isn’t weak, either. Instead, I
feel a gentle impact on my head.

“Behave more like a spoiled child. Tell me anything you want. Ah, could it be
that you actually forgot——that I’m your mother?”

She tapers her lips as she states her complaint. I didn’t forget. Mom is my Mom, I
know.

Yet…

Why did I think that I was alone? It’s such a foolish thinking…. Although, I
know the reason. When I saw Hiori and Tsubaki getting along with each other, I
felt lonely. I couldn’t get in between them, and it made me sad. I understand that
I don’t have the right to, but still, it mortified me. I couldn’t afford to reach out
my hands and hug them.

The me in the present has my own place to belong, but despite that, I was feeling
uneasy about being alone. Even though Dad, Mom, and Saki—my precious
family—are here to stay with me. I have a family who holds me dear. It’s
unforgivable for me to think that I was alone.

——In the end, I am the foolish one.

“……Mom, I’m glad to be born as your child.”

“Isn’t that obvious? Be honored that you were born as my child.”

“Ahaha……”

My heart, feels warm.

“Thank you, Mom. But, I’m all right, don’t be worried.”

“…If anything happens, tell me without keeping it to yourself.”

She gives me a loving hug. I think it’s been a long time since I was hugged like
this.

“Yup.”

My body, feels warm. As if to keep the warmth from escaping, I am filled with
Mother’s affection.

“……What are you doing?”

Passing by the passageway, Saki looks at us dubiously. Mother beckons her, and
she approaches us with a perplexed look on her face.

Grab!

“Capture.”

“Hey?! Mom!”

“Gweh!”
When Saki draws near, Mother catches both of us in a firm hold. My sister
frantically tries to escape, but Mother won’t let her.

“A ha ha~ I love you, I love you. Kiss, kiss~”

“Stop— it—!!”

“Ah~ it’s sweltering!”

It’s stifling when the three of us are glued to each other like this. But when I look
at Mother smiling so happily, I can’t help but to smile, as well. Even though Saki
makes a reluctant face at first, she eventually smiles, too. I think it would have
been more fun if Dad was here…. Let’s send him an email later.

“Huh? Saki, did you get fatter?”

“Gyaah!! Don’t pinch my stomaach—!!”

“Go for it, a chubby lineage.”

“Die!!”

We make a racket at the entrance for a while, as we spend a merry time together.
 ‘Tis a Fine Day
“What a nice weather~”

When I exit the front door, I look up to see the refreshing blue sky extending to
the horizon. It’s not just the sky; my heart has also cleared up, which puts in me a
good mood. Hiori and Tsubaki have reconciled yesterday, and it feels like a
weight has been removed from my mind. I stretch my body, as I breathe the
fresh air.

“I hope that tomorrow will be clear, too.”

Tomorrow is the day of the high school entrance ceremony. I may have
experienced it once before, but when I think of the new encounters, the new
class, and new adolescent days… it makes me look forward to them.

Which reminds me, in my past life, the principal’s speech during the ceremony
was so long that I ended up nodding off. I think I headbutted the back of the
person sitting in front of me, and it turned out a bit rowdy after that. This time,
I’ll need to focus not to fall asleep.

“Hinata-san.”
“Yahoo—”

When I hear the sound of the door opening from my neighbor’s house, Tsubaki
suddenly shows up and spots me right away. I wave my hand to her, and her
eyes make a gleam as she happily trots over to me. Hmm, she’s as cute as a
puppy. It’s as if I can see her bushy tail.

“Good noon, Hinata-san!”

“Good noon.”

She greets me while smiling like an angel. My, she’s the very definition of
happiness! And thus, I end up feeling happy, too. Like I thought, Tsubaki is the
cutest when she smiles. It’s the best. Nay, it’s out of this world!
“Hinata-san, are you going out somewhere?”
“Yup, I was intending to visit Tsubaki’s home to deliver something.”
“Eh?”

I hand it to her hands while she’s still astonished. It’s the confectionery recipe
books that I borrowed from her the other day.

“Thank you for lending them to me. I managed to learn a lot, and it was fun
reading them.”
“Are you sure, returning them already?”
“Yup. I already noted down the recipes that I liked, and being able to read them
once is more than enough for me.”
“I see. I’m glad to know that you enjoyed it.”
“And, here.”

I hand Tsubaki a pouch with a cute character printed on it.

“What is this?”
“It’s my new maple cookies—an original recipe that I made using the recipe
books as reference. Just consider it as my thanks… even though it’s actually a
trial product.”

When I make an evil grin, she giggles.

“Thank you very much. The confections that Hinata-san makes are delicious. I’m
looking forward to eating this.”
“Hehe—m, it might be a miss this time, you know?”

At any rate, this is still a prototype. I did taste it myself. Mother and my sister
also gave their passing grades, so it should be okay, I think.

“It’s fine. I’d be glad to receive anything Hinata-san makes.”

Being told that with such a breathtaking smile is naturally rising the temperature
of my face. Kuuh…!! Anyone would feel embarrassed if they’re in my situation!

Feeling shy and bashful, I want to turn my face away. But for some reason, I
can’t avert my eyes from her face. Moreover, I have the feeling that Tsubaki’s
face looks somewhat flushed, too.
“W-well, I’m glad to know you’re happy about it, I think? A-ahaha.”

As a result of my hard struggle to escape from this strange mood, I somehow

manage to say those haphazard words. I don’t really hate this kind of mood, but
I can’t get used to it. Should I say, I just don’t have the experience. Or maybe, I’m
just poor at dealing with this situation.

“Hinata-san, did you learn to make confectioneries from your mom?”

“Hm~ I kinda forgot. I think that’s the case, probably.”

If I remember it right, Mom taught me how to bake cookies at the start. After
that, I want to hear her say that it’s delicious, so I read some books on my own
and learned a lot. In the end, it became my hobby.

Now that I think about it, the first confectionery that Mother taught me to make
after my reincarnation was baumkuchen. I was only around eight at that time,
why did she want me to make something that difficult? Although, I’m pretty
sure that it’s all because she wanted to eat them. Because the hurdle was too
high, it resulted in a failure.

“Um, do you remember Mom’s story about her childhood friend….. from
yesterday?”
“……Yup, the gist of it.”

My heart throbs because I’m surprised by the sudden topic. I carefully hide my
unrest from showing, and I gulp down my saliva as I wait for her next words.

“Mom told me a few things about that person. It seems that she liked making
confectionery, too.”

“H-heeh~ Really~?”

“The more I listened to her story, the more I thought how similar she was to
Hinata-san. For example, the way she liked sleeping, or how kind she was.”

“Eh~ you think~?”

“Mom said that your characters are quite similar, too.”

Tsubaki is speaking so happily. But in contrast, I’m having a cold sweat by
listening to her. I don’t think that she’s found out about me, but this feels really
awkward. I feel like running away.

“It’s thanks to that person, that I’m now living in this world…. and so is Mom.”
“………”

“She had hoped for me to be born. She had protected me. That’s why, I think of
her as my special person, as well. If she was still alive, I wish I could give her
lots, and lots of my gratitude.”

Listening to those words, my heart is gradually filled with warmth.

“I’m sure, that she heard you.”

“…Do you think so?”
“Yup, I think she’s always watching over you.”

After all, I will be here next to you, watching you for the days to come. When
you’re going through happy times, painful times, fun times, and sad times, too,
I’ll be there with you. If this feeling isn’t happiness, I wonder what is? If gods
really exist in this world…… I want to thank them from the bottom of my heart
for letting me meet her again, and for giving me the chance to meet this child.

“Hinata-san.”
“Hm?”
“The school entrance ceremony will be held tomorrow.”
“Yeah. The days when I need to wake up early in the morning to attend school
are starting soon—”

I exaggerate my lack of energy, and she looks worried as she makes a fuzzy
smile.

“It’s all right. I will come fetch you every morning so that you won’t be late.”

W-what a gallant child she is…!! But to tell the truth, I want to sleep in until the
last moment!
“…I guess… I’ll do my best… to wake up early.”

I really don’t want to make her wait when she’s going out of her way to fetch me.
Besides, I’ll end up making her risk being late herself.

“Please work hard getting up early.”

“Yes, I’ll give it my best.”

Yup, let’s do this! …..Then I’ll secretly doze off at school!

“I hope that we can get into the same class.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

After that, we talk about things like what we’ll do tomorrow, about school; then
suddenly, a ringtone resounds. It seems to be Tsubaki’s, as she takes out her cell
phone in a fluster and fiddles with it. Hm, it seems to be an email. She stares at
the screen for a while, then she starts to beam happily as she swiftly makes a
reply before putting her phone away.

“An email, from your friend?”

“No, it’s from Mom. It appears that her work will finish earlier than usual, so we
will be having dinner together.”

“I see—”
“Yes!”

I’m relieved to know that they have a favorable relationship as a parent and
child. They’re going to slowly regain the happy family time that they didn’t get
to spend before.

“Um, would you mind… joining us for dinner?”

“Eh?! Don’t worry about me, I’ll feel bad intruding on you.”

They’ve just mended their family ties, so they should spend some time by
themselves without some meddling outsider. It’ll be boorish of me to join them
like that.
“Please don’t be reserved. Mom also mentioned how she wanted to repay you.”
“But, I’m…..”

“How about you take up on her offer~?”

“?!”

My Mother who never reads the mood has appeared!

It seems that she was listening in our conversation as she pleases.

“Listen here, there’s no way I can be so inconsiderate.”

“Actually, Mom and Saki-chan is going to a full-course Chinese dinner.”
“………haah?!”

“We won the lottery at the supermarket—a pair ticket for a Chinese meal! …But,
since it’s only for two people, Saki and I will be going!”

“So cruel! It’s so cruel of you to leave me out!”

“Hey, you don’t eat most Chinese foods because you don’t like them, right?”
“Ugh!!”

But that doesn’t mean that you can just make me stay at home by myself. I-I can
eat gyoza at least.
“So, Tsubaki-chan, if it’s alright with you, can I leave Hinata in your care?”
“Hey, wait-“
“I understand. Please leave her to me and go out without worries!
“Thank you, Tsubaki-chan! Hinata, don’t make trouble for her, okay?”

The two have a friendly chat while smiling to each other. Somehow, the
conversation has moved on beyond me….

“………haah.”
It’s not that I don’t want to eat dinner at Tsubaki’s house. Only that, I’m having a
mixed feeling, which makes it hard for me to accept her invitation. Even if she
tells me not to be reserved, I can’t help but to feel apologetic and awkward.

“I-I’ll do my best! Maybe it won’t suit your taste, but, um, I’ll prepare it with my
utmost effort!!”

Tsubaki’s eyes are glittering, filled with motivation. Uuh, after she’s shown her
enthusiasm, it’ll be too inhumane for me to refuse…. Well, I do want to try eating
Tsubaki’s home cooking. I should give up here.

“Then, I will be intruding on you this evening.”

“I’m sorry about this, Tsubaki-chan. Come to our house for a meal next time.”
“Yes, thank you very much.”

With that settled, Mother retreats into our home in good humor. Sheesh, she
always does things at her own pace.

“Ehehe.”

I peer into Tsubaki’s face, and I see that she’s looking really happy. Come to
think of it, she’s always been eating by herself….

“Tsubaki, can I help you prepare the meals?”

“But, Hinata-san is our guest. I can’t have you do that.”
“Ah, could it be that you’re doubting my skills? Despite how I look, I’m
confident with my cooking.”
“O-of course that’s not the case! I know full well that Hinata-san is good at
making confectionery.”
“Then what’s the harm? It’ll be more fun to prepare it together than alone. I’m
sure of it.”
“Hinata-san…… all right.”

I guess she finally gives her consent. She fixes her gaze on me with a gentle
expression on her face. A refreshing breeze flutters her long, beautiful hair,
signing the beginning of spring.

“Um, if you have the time, want to go shopping for dinner together?”
“?!! Y-yes! Ah, I, I’ll get ready in a moment, so please wait for me!”
“Just take it easy— I need to get ready, too…… and, she’s gone.”
The way Tsubaki hurries home makes her cute like a child. My cheeks slacken
without me noticing. I need to complete my own preparation before she returns,
so I go back home, as well.

After we finish our preparations, Tsubaki and I go out for shopping together.
 Shadowing Feelings
“Uh… Uuh.”

I fell over and grazed my knee. It hurts. Unable to bear the pain, my tears start to
flow.

Drip, drip. Ignoring my feelings, the tears spilling from my eyes are soaking the
back of the person who’s carrying me.
“Rumi, does it hurt?”
“It hurts so muuch… hic”
“I know it hurts, but bear it for just a bit longer. We’ll reach home soon.”

Still carrying me on a piggyback, my sister slightly turns around and shows me a

gentle smile. When I see her smiling face, it feels as if the pain is decreasing a
little. I wipe the tears that have gathered around my eyes, and I tightly grasp the
clothes around her back. Then, I lean on her soft, warm back before closing my
eyes.

“Thank you, Onee-chan.”

“Yup.”

My sister has always been kind.

When I feel lonely, she will stay next to me and smile.

When I feel hungry, she will make me delicious sweets.
When I fall over, she will help me and carry me like this.

She sleeps all the time, and is slovenly with time… but I’m proud of my Onee-
chan.

“I’ll make something when we get home. What do you want to eat, Rumi?”
“R-really?! You know, um, that! I want to eat pancakes! The cocoa flavored one!”
“Do we have cocoa powder, though…? Well, I just need to buy some if there’s
none. Yosh, I’m gonna make some pancakes.”
“Yaay!”

The pancakes that my sister makes are just sweet enough. They’re delicious.
Although she’s made other kinds of sweets for me, I like pancakes the most.
With my head filled with my favorite pancake, I’ve totally forgotten about the
pain in my knee. I want to reach home faster and eat the pancake, but I also don’t
want to get down from my sister’s pleasant back. Wanting to relish it more, I put
my arms around my sister’s neck and push my body closer.

“Fufu, aren’t you a spoiled one, Rumi?”

“Muu.”

My sister’s teasing laugh irritates me, so I swing my legs a bit to kick her. Since I
am on her back, I can feel the impact of my own kicks.

“T-that hurts! Gee, I’m gonna leave you here, you know?”
“No way.”

I refuse to be lowered and cling my arms tighter. I know that my kind sister
won’t leave me for real, though.

“Uweh?! Hey, Rumi. You’re, choking me!”

I think I put too much strength. My sister lets out a pained voice, so I loosen my
arms. Then, my sister breathes out, maybe out of relief.

“Onee-chan, you can’t say bad things like that.”

“……Rumi, you’re the one who started it by kicking me.”
“Onee-chan laughed at me first!”
“Okay, okay, you’re right. I’m the one in the wrong. Please forgive me, Rumi-
sama.”
“Muu, you’re not being serious~”
“I said I’m sorry. I’m apologizing for real, you know.”

My anger decreases from hearing my sister’s troubled voice,

“Then, I forgive you.”

“Thank you for your benevolence.”

My sister stops for a moment to fix my position on her back before she starts
walking again. No matter how small I am, I’m sure that it’s difficult to keep
carrying me on a piggyback. But, my sister is never the one to complain that I’m
heavy, or that she’s tired.
I’m always spoiled by her kindness, and I hate my weak self. I want to grow
stronger, but I always end up depending on her. I’m still a spoiled crybaby no
matter how much time has passed. But one day, I’m sure one day, she will praise
me for being a strong girl. Yes, I want to become a reliable adult just like my
elder sister.

“Rumi, we’ve arrived.”

“Onee-chan! Hurry, I want to eat pancakes.”
“Don’t rush, don’t rush. You’ve forgotten about the graze on your knee.”
“Ah.”
“Your knee gets to be treated first. I’m going to make the pancakes later, so bear
with me for now.”
“Muu.”

When she opens the front door, Mom shows up from inside and treats my knee.
As promised, my sister makes me lots of delicious pancakes. My father comes
home after work, and he gives me a gentle smile when he sees me eating
pancakes.

When I was young, I spent every day happily and peacefully, and I had taken
that for granted. My father and mother would get into a quarrel with my sister
sometimes, but would always kindly forgive them and smile. At that time, I
believed that she would always be by my side.

But,

it was far too soon,

and without warning,

when my beloved person, was robbed away from me.

*

“Rumi-chan.”

When I’m walking home after work, I hear someone calling me from behind. I
turn around to see Hiori-san standing behind me.

“Hiori-san.”
“What a coincidence. On the way home from work?”
“Yup, I’ve been busy preparing for the school entrance ceremony, but I finished
early today. Hiori-san, are you going home from work, too?”
“Yes, I finished work earlier than usual, as well.”
“I see.”

She had been avoiding Tsubaki-chan intentionally by increasing her own work,
so that she would always come home late. But now, since she’s finally able to
face Tsubaki-chan, Hiori-san must be finishing her job as fast as possible so that
she can spend more time with her.

After walking though different paths all this time, I’m really glad that they can
finally face each other…. But at the same time, I regret being unable to help when
I’m so close to them.

“Thank you for looking after Tsubaki yesterday. I’m grateful for it.”
“Mm-mm, Dad and Mom are happy when Tsubaki-chan comes to visit. They
want Hiori-san to join and stay overnight next time, is what they said.”

As we chat, we decide to walk home together halfway through, so I start walking

next to her. Hiori-san has a good posture, so the sight of her walking has always
been dignified and beautiful. I remember being dazzled by her beauty the first
time I met her. I kept staring at her, and I even forgot to greet her. It was
shocking to know that Nee-san had such a beautiful friend.
“…Speaking of which, I’ve caused so much trouble for you… and the Sekiguchis,
too.”
“No, I don’t think of you as a bother……”

Hearing my words, she looks sorrowful as she shakes her head.

“I shouldn’t have been allowed to approach, let alone meet your family. But
instead, far from resenting me, your whole family was worried about me instead,
and comforted me.”

“Nee-san’s death isn’t Hiori-san’s fault…”

“It’s the same thing.”

That’s wrong. Hiori-san is not at fault. It wasn’t her fault that Nee-san died.
But…

“You hate me, don’t you?”

“!”

Thump, my chest throbs. I should be refuting her, but my mouth clamps up

without moving. Noticing my silence, Hiroi-san looks pained as she mutters, ‘I’m
sorry,’ in a soft voice.
“I have deprived you of Tsubaki… your beloved Onee-san, so it’s a matter of
course. If I didn’t drag her into my problems, it wouldn’t have to end like that.
You, Uncle and Auntie, and… I’m sure that she resents me, too.”

“You’re wrong.”

She’s been burdening herself by thinking that everything is her fault, so I say that
to her frankly. I’ve been telling her it’s not her fault so many times now, but she
obstinately thinks of it as her ‘sin’.

“I’m sure that Nee-san didn’t think that you dragged her into your problems.
After all, the Nee-san that I know would ‘go and get herself involved’. That’s just
the kind of person she was.”

For those whom she held dear, my Nee-san would jump into a fire without
worrying about herself; she was truly a kind hearted person. Far from resenting
anyone, Nee-san would laugh and say that it’s because she wasn’t good enough.
And, there’s no doubt that she would still be worrying about someone else
instead of herself during her final moments.

“Long time ago, when I was still a child… to be honest, there was a time when I
resented Hiori-san. ‘Cause if I didn’t, I would have to bottle that emotion within
myself, without knowing where I could vent it to.”

“………”

It’s as she said, Nee-san wouldn’t have died if she didn’t involve herself with
Hiori-san. But on the other hand, Hiori-san didn’t do anything wrong. Dad and
Mom were already adults, so instead of hating Hiori-san, they supported her like
she’s their own daughter. But at that time, I didn’t understand why they would
lend a hand to the person who had stolen my beloved sister from me.

“But then, you know… I came to realize that I was wrong to resent the person
whom Nee-san had protected with her own life.”

Hiori-san was so saddened by Nee-san’s death. I should have been resenting her,
but when I see the awful state she was in, that feeling actually turned into worry.
She was so emotionally unstable that I thought she might just follow Nee-san if
she was left alone.

That’s when I realized that just like me, she ‘also’ lost someone dear to her.

I had to protect her, I thought. I believed that it was my turn to protect the two
lives that Nee-san had protected. I didn’t know what I could do, but at least I
understood that I couldn’t leave Nee-san’s precious person alone. ——And that,
I had to live Nee-san’s share as well. Afterwards, I stayed close to Hiori-san and
Tsubaki-chan as I continued to watch over them.

“Now, I don’t resent you in the slightest. After all, both of you have become a
part of our dear family.”

I stand still in order to convey that to her clearly. Hiori-san looks surprised, then
her expression slowly changes to that of embarrassment.

“Like your sister, you’re awfully kind hearted.”

“Well, that’s because we’re siblings.”
When I say that with a smile, she looks astonished… and somewhat happy at the
same time. I’m happy to hear that I’m like Nee-san, too. She’s always been my
pride, and she always will.

“If it weren’t for you, I certainly wouldn’t be here anymore…. Thank you, Rumi-
chan.”
“…But, I… couldn’t do anything……”

I didn’t do anything worth thanking for. I tried not to worry Hiori-san, I tried
improving their relationship, but it was all in vain. What I have done is nothing
but to watch over them for a long time.

On the other hand, even my parents couldn’t make them reconcile. I wonder
how she managed to find the determination to stop running and face her child.
Although I’m curious about what happened, I’m just glad to know that the two
of them have started to open up to each other.

“Mm-mm, it’s because of your support, that both Tsubaki and I can be where we
are today. Words alone aren’t enough to convey our gratitude to you.”
“You’re exaggerating it…”
“I’m sorry for making you worry all this time…. I’m not going to look away and
run from her anymore.”
“Hiori-san.”
“If I keep being pathetic, both Tsubaki and that person will come to hate me for
sure.”

I think Hiori-san is going to keep changing for the better. It feels to me as if the
shadows that have been haunting her forever have been lifted a little. Her
previously sad, empty gaze is now filled with a strong light.

…Is she going to be alright now? Will she finally be able to walk towards
happiness? Aah, it’ll be such a happy thing if that’s true. Because I believe that
her happiness is what Nee-san would have wished for during her final moments.
Of course, that’s what Dad, Mom, and I have been wishing for, too. After 16
years long, it’s worrying us that she’s still not pursuing her own happiness.

“Hiori-san… you’re not going to look for a new partner?”

“……Being with Tsubaki is enough for me. Besides….”
Actually, I already knew that’s how she would answer. Hiori-san is not going to
find a new happiness for herself. No matter how she accepts the past, no matter
how she’s going to face the future, I know that she won’t let go of that person
until the day she dies.

“I know. Hiori-san has loved Nee-san since long ago.”

“……”
“I’m not thick headed like Nee-san, you know.”

She always gave the impression of being expressionless and cold, but whenever
she was with Nee-san, she would look a bit less tense than usual. She always
sounded cold towards Nee-san, but if someone paid a little attention, they would
notice the kindness within her words. Above all, whenever she looked at Nee-
san, her gaze felt so gentle and kind.

When Nee-san died, she didn’t act like her best friend died; it was something
more. Her guilt might have been a factor to that, but I knew that wasn’t all.

“I don’t have the intention to love anyone else.”

“But, Nee-san is no longer of this world.”

The words that I let out of my own mouth makes my chest feel tight. In the end, I
guess I haven’t moved on from the past, either.

When my sister died, I aimed to become a reliable adult. I kept studying during
my student days, I single-mindedly spent my efforts to obtain my teaching
license. Then, I reached my dream and my goal to become a teacher. There are
many times when it feels harsh and difficult, but this occupation is fun and well
worth it. I succeeded in realizing the dream that I shared with Nee-san. I
shouldn’t be speaking for myself, but I think that I’ve managed to become a
reliable adult. I’m content to be able to pursue the future that I have desired.

…But, even after gaining this sense of accomplishment and fulfillment, it doesn’t
fill the small, yet deep hole lying in the corner of my heart. I thought that it
would be filled on its own when I reached my dream. But in reality, I was only
pretending that it wasn’t there. Every time I recall about its existence, my heart
throbs with pain. Just, what should I do to fill this hole?

When I hang down my head in ponder, Hiori-san looks up to the sky and shows
a bitter smile. Thinking about Nee-san must be making her sad, too.
“Even so, I still love that person.”
“………”
“Perhaps I don’t have the right to feel this way about her, but this feeling will
never change.”
“…Doesn’t it hurt?”
“For me, it will hurt a lot more if I were to lose this feeling.”

My sister left this world far too soon, leaving behind the one who’s holding her
so dear. But, even after so many years, she will continue loving her, no matter
what. Perhaps, others will call her foolish. No matter how much she loves her, no
matter how much she yearns for her, she will never be able to convey her
feelings forever.

“…Forget about me, what about Rumi-chan? Have you found someone?”
“Ugh.”

I knew I wouldn’t stay a child forever. But, I never gave love nor marriage a
thought. I wasn’t interested in them, either. I thought that it would naturally
come to me someday, but I haven’t found anyone yet. Not when my hands are
already full with work…. I know that my parents are secretly worried about their
daughter who doesn’t seem to be getting married soon, when I’m already
halfway through my 20s.

“I haven’t encountered anyone, so I guess it’s a no. Well, what will be will be.”

My workplace is filled with married people, or thin-haired old men. In addition,

with how busy I am with work, I rarely go to a drinking party with my friends,
so I don’t really expect to encounter anyone soon. I’m thinking that leading a
bachelor life isn’t so bad anyway. Although, I believe my parents are going to
cry, if I say that out loud.

“……The way you’re both disinterested in love affairs is similar.”

Please leave me alone.

“Aah, speaking of which, won’t you come visit for dinner tonight?”
“Hm— I’m happy for the offer, but I think I will hold back for now. I want you to
have a private family time with Tsubaki-chan.”
“No need to be strangely mindful about us in that strange way. Besides, we have
already invited another guest.”
My, it’s rare for her to invite a guest for dinner. Other than me and my parents, I
think this is her first time calling someone over.

“……Hmm, in that case, I guess I’ll be intruding.”

“Sure, I’d be glad to have you with us.”
“So, what kind of person is the guest that you were mentioning?”

I’m curious about the lucky guest who had personally received a dinner
invitation from the one who doesn’t like interacting with people much. Could it
be the person who helped improve the relationship between Hiori-san and
Tsubaki-chan?

“It’s one of the children who moved in next door the other day.”
“…Could it be Hinata-chan?”
“My, you know her?”
“Well, more or less.”

Aah, figures. So it’s Hinata-chan. I’m sure that Tsubaki-chan is the one who
called her over. Although she socializes with anyone normally, she’s actually shy
around strangers. This is the first time she could get attached to someone in such
a short time. For some reason, I can easily accept that she would get invited for a
meal.

“My, speak of a devil.”

“Ah.”

I follow Hiori-san’s gaze to our front, and I spot Hinata-chan standing while
lugging lots of shopping bags. She seems to be waiting for someone as she stares
at the shop vacantly.

“Hinata-chan!”
“Huh? Hiori-san, and Rumi-san. Good afternoon.”

When she notices us, she gives a sweet smile, as well as a polite greeting.

“Out shopping?”
“Yes, I’m here to shop for dinner along with Tsubaki.”
Which means that Tsubaki-chan is the one Hinata-chan is waiting for. The first
time I met her is also when they were going out together. They’re really on good
terms.

“But where is that child?”

“It seems that she forgot to buy something. She panicked and went back into the
store.”

Hinata-chan looks towards the store and smiles wryly. Really, she may look
dependable, but she can be absent-minded at times, that Tsubaki-chan….. not
that I’m one to speak.

“It can’t be helped. I feel bad to make you wait for her, so both of you should go
ahead of us. I will bring that child along.”
“Eh? But…”
“Okay, I guess we’ll do as she says, Hinata-chan. I have a spare key with me.”

Although she looks a bit hesitant at first, she suddenly notices something and
comes towards me.

“…I suppose. Then, I will be leaving Tsubaki in your care.”

“Yes.”

I’m being mindful of the parent and child who almost never spent time for
themselves, and it seems Hinata-chan catches that. From how I see it, she knows
about their family circumstances quite a bit. At any rate, this girl is a sharp one.

“Let’s go, Rumi-san.”

“Ah, okay. Give me half for me to carry.”
“I’m sorry about this. That will be a big help.”

I receive the bags that she timidly holds out, and the two of us start walking side
by side. Although the half that I’m carrying looked heavy, they’re actually lighter
than I thought. I give a glance towards the bags in Hinata-chan’s hands. They’re
of the same sizes, but I can see that they are packed with heavy-looking bottles
and jars. On the other hand, the ones I”m carrying are filled with bread and
sweets that are lightweight.
“Hinata-chan, aren’t yours heavier? Wanna switch?”
“Thank you, but I’m all right. I may not look like it, but I am confident with my
strength.”

I try asking her to switch a few times after that, but she modestly declines every
time. I feel sorry to make someone younger to carry those heavy luggage, but I
should accept her good will without reserve.

(Hayase Hinata-chan, huh… she’s such a good child….)

Now that I’m walking next to her, I think I understand why Tsubaki-chan is
attached. Although she looks like a child from all angles, she sometimes gives off
the impression of an adult. It’s mysterious how she makes me feel secured when
I’m with her. Although I haven’t associated with her for long, for some reason, I
can say with confident that she’s a kind girl.

Although, there’s a bit… just a tiny sense of discomfort I’m feeling. Whenever I
look at her, it’s like [something] is tugging at me. I don’t know what that
[something] is, so I can’t understand it well. Regardless, it doesn’t seem to be a
bad thing, so I guess I don’t need to try too hard to identify it.

“Here, this is for you.”

“Eh?”

While I’m lost in thought, Hinata-chan holds out her hand to me, so I
spontaneously accept it. Then, I end up staring at that thing.
“This…”
“I bought it at the store earlier. Please have one if you’d like.”

What I’m holding is a stick with candy attached on one of the tip, a lollipop. The
words ‘melon soda’ are written on the wrapping of the candy.

“T-thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”

When I look at Hinata-chan who’s walking next to me, she’s holding the same
candy in her mouth, savoring it. Maybe it’s her favorite, because she looks quite
happy. Since she already gave me one, I’m going to have a taste myself. But, I
end up tearing the wrapper too forcefully, and the candy slips off from my hand
to the ground.
“Wah, s-sorry.”
“Aww…”

Although I pick it up right away, there is much dirt sticking to the candy part
now. This can’t be eaten anymore. After Hinata-chan took the trouble to give it to
me, just what have I done. I never grew out of my clumsiness. At this rate, I think
even death won’t be able to cure it.

“T-the three-second rule!”

“No, that’d be too forcing it.”

I try to clean it by brushing away the dirt, but it doesn’t seem safe to eat
anymore. Unfortunately, I’ll have to give up.

“…I’m sorry. I ended up dropping it.”

“Hm— there’s no helping it then.”
“Eh?”

Hinata-chan takes out [something] from her pocket. She takes the dirtied candy
from my hand and makes me hold it in exchange. When I look at the new item
that I received, it’s like my head goes blank for a second.

“I’m giving you that instead.”

“………T-thank…”

Thank you. I can’t even say that well. There is a hot feeling gushing from inside
my body, and my throat is getting clogged up.

“Rumi-san?”

She looks at me, puzzled. And I discover that [something] within her big eyes.
Aah, I see, I finally get the reason behind my discomfort that I’ve felt since the
day I met her.

This is something called, ‘nostalgia’.

Because———she resembles Nee-san.

I grasp the [azuki caramel] that I received from Hinata-chan tightly. This is one
of Nee-san’s favorite sweets. She often gave it to me, even though I don’t really
like it because it’s too sweet.

“Um, do you dislike it?”

“Mm-mm.”

I open the wrapper and toss the candy into my mouth. The flavor of azuki bean
and the sweetness of caramel immediately spreads in my mouth. It’s been quite a
long time since I last ate it.

“Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it~”

Hinata-chan makes a bashful smile and looks to the front, so I secretly takes a
glance at her side profile…. Even though their faces don’t look alike at all, being
with her makes me recall about Nee-san somewhat. If someone asks me how
they resemble each other, I don’t think I can answer it well. But, I can say for sure
that they have their resemblance somewhere. I wonder if this is why both Hiori-
san and Tsubaki-chan trust her.

(That’s not it……)

After thinking it through, I decide to stop that thought. It’s not because she’s
similar to Nee-san or such. Rather, it’s because Hinata-chan is Hinata-chan.

I keep looking at her face for a while, and this trip makes me feel just a bit
nostalgic.
 One Happiness
“Hinata-chan… is anyone having a birthday today?”
“I admit that I overdid it.”

We’re currently looking at a whole cake, adorned with whipped cream and
fruits. It’s beautifully decorated, and I’m personally satisfied with the result.
Aah, but, that’s not the point.

“I think we were talking about making some simple sweets since it’d be a waste
to do nothing while waiting them, right?”
“I got carried away by mistake.”

Rumi and I have been waiting for Hiori and Tsubaki to return home, but they’re
getting quite late. So, I tried contacting them by an email, and it seems that
they’ll be taking their time. In the end, I borrowed the kitchen to make something
that wouldn’t be too time-consuming. I had planned to bake cookies at first, but
the moment I reached the kitchen, I got too excited when I saw the cookwares
that I don’t have at home. As a result, I ended up making a cake by accident.

“It’s amazing how you can make something this grand without meaning to…”
“Well~ you’re making me blush.”

Be that as it may, I’ve used their ingredients without asking. I need to apologize
to Hiori later. Rumi will most likely tell me that it’s okay, but using someone
else’s stuff without permission is still a bad thing to do. I’m reflecting on it. I
should’ve asked when I was sending the email earlier.

“Still, they’re late.”

While I’m washing the cooking utensils and cleaning up, Rumi looks at the clock
and mutters in worry. Now that she mentions it, I think it’s been more than an
hour since they replied.

“It seems it’s been a really long time since they last went shopping together, so I
guess they want to take it slow.”
“I think you’re right.”

When I imagine the sight of them shopping happily, I end up smiling. It’s still
early for dinner anyway, so we should be waiting for them patiently. After I
finish cleaning up, I put the cake in the fridge and return to sit in the living room.
A short while later, Rumi comes to sit in front of me. But, for some reason, she’s
staring at me…. Uh, um? What is it?

“Is there something on my face?”

Maybe there is cream stuck on my face when I was making the cake, so I try
wiping it off with my hand. I was stirring it with my strength, so some of the
fresh cream might have taken flight.

“Ah, that’s not it. Umm, it’s just, you know, that, I think you have a cute face.”
“Haa.”

I have no idea how to react to that, so I’m not sure what to say. ‘Thank you very
much!’ will sound as if I’m agreeing with her statement. But if I say ‘That’s not
true!’, it might just come out unpleasant. But, there are no girls who aren’t happy
to be told that she’s cute, of course, me included…. Although, hearing that from
my little sister gives me mixed feelings.

“A-anyway! Was Tsubaki-chan the one who invited you for dinner today?”
“Aah, yes. After getting forsaken by my family, Tsubaki was the kind person
who beckoned me for dinner.”
“I-I see.”

‘Hurrah for a full-course Chinese meal!’, I laugh in derision as I remember how

my family shouted that. Rumi’s smile clamps up a bit when she sees me like that.

I’m sure Mother and my sister are currently laughing merrily at a Chinese
restaurant, spinning the rotating table in high speed. I don’t really like Chinese
food anyway, and I don’t feel dejected at all because they didn’t bring me with
them, you know? Besides, what’s the big deal with an elite full-course Chinese
dinner! Just because it’s expensive, it doesn’t mean that it’s guaranteed to be
delicious, okay?!

“…Say, Hinata-chan, are you going out with anyone?”

Here it comes, the question that always comes out of nowhere. Girls like to talk
about this topic a lot. Well, I’m also a young girl in the peak of my adolescence,
though. At least my appearance is.

“No, I’m not. I prefer hanging out with my friends, and I don’t really understand
about love yet.”
“Hmm— I see~”
“What about you, Rumi-san? Are you going out with anyone?”

There’s no way such a beautiful and mature woman would remain single.

“Nope.”
“Mhm, it’s impossible for anyone to leave a beauty like Rumi-san alone… wait,
what?! You’re kidding!”
“Regrettably, I’m not.”
“But, there must be someone in the past at least…”
“Nope.”
“You . are . lying!”
“I-it’s the truth.”

What the hell? Is everyone in this town blind? Or, is Rumi’s ideal too high? Wait,
could it be that she’s not that interested to have a relationship like me?! Rumi
looks at me acting strangely from my surprise, and she giggles. Hey, this is not
the time to laugh.

“In the past, I was focusing to achieve my dream. And now, I’m too busy with
work to think about love and such.”
“W-while you’re saying that to yourself, you’re going to miss your marriageable
age!!”
“Uuh, my parents have been telling me the same thing, although not directly.”

‘But, I’m not really interested, you know—’ she says without concern. Aah, I
knew it, that part of her is just like me…. I’m not really one to say, but I’m a bit…
no, I’m very worried about her.

“That’s it. Rumi-san, please let me have a look at your palm.”

“Eh? Sure…”

She looks puzzled as she shows her palm to me. Then, I stare at it intensely like
I’m trying to drill a hole in it.
“……What are you doing?”
“I’m reading your palm. There was a time when I admired and studied fortune
telling.”
“Wow, that’s amazing!”

Rumi looks at me with her sparkling eyes, which makes me feel guilty. It’s a
downright lie.

“Let’s see. Oh, Rumi-san, it says that you’re clumsy.”

“It’s possible to know that with a palm reading?”
“The art of chiromancy has been progressing with the modern times.”
“Eeh—”

Her face tells me that she finds it unbelievable. Hmm, I guess that was a lame
excuse. If anyone tells me that, I won’t believe it, either. Well, whatever, it
doesn’t really matter. I’m lying to her anyway.

“Rumi-san’s favorite color is orange.”

“Ah, amazing! You’re right!!”
“You were born during winter, your blood type is A, and you like cats.”
“Wow, palm reading is amazing… Everything is spot-on.”

It’d be terrifying if a fortune telling can do that. It’s a breach of privacy.

Naturally, I know about all that about Rumi because I was her big sister.

“Excuse me for a bit.”

I lightly grip her wrist with one hand and make her palm overlap my other palm.
My hand is slightly smaller than Rumi’s.

“So, what can you tell with that?”

“…hm? Nothing.”
“……eh?”
“It’s just that, it’s grown big.”

Her small hand has grown bigger, and prettier than mine.
I move my finger on top of her palm to write a few characters. I slowly, and
carefully write it so that it will get conveyed to her. Rumi stays still as she tries to
guess what I’m writing on her palm.

“I’ve finished.”

After writing the characters, I let go of her hand.

“……[Happiness]?”
“That’s correct.”

Even though she could guess that much, she doesn’t get what it means. She tilts
her head and slants her eyebrows in confusion.

“Rumi-san, are you happy?”

“………”

I can hear a gasp from her. After taking a while to think, she’s barely able to put
her answer in words.

“I wonder… Maybe, I’m happy… I think.”

“I see. By the way, what I did just now is a good luck charm that was popular in
the past. It’s said to bring you happiness.”
“Ah… I… know that.”

I’m the one who taught Rumi about this charm. When she was upset and crying,
I told her, “If you write your wish on your palm and swallow it, it will come
true.” Although, it’s originally a charm to dispel nervousness by [writing
‘person’ on the palm and swallow it], but I went and revised it a bit.

“You need to swallow it, or your wish won’t be fulfilled.”

“………Mm.”
“So, go ahead and swallow it.”

Well, she doesn’t need to actually swallow it literally, only pretend like she does.
But, Rumi just stares at her palm, unmoving. It’s nothing but a good luck charm,
so it’s not going to fulfill her wish just like that. It’s just a self-suggestion.
But, if she’s hesitating to swallow the ‘happiness’, it means that she lacks ‘the
intent to be happy’.

“I…”
“Oh, well.”
“Hinata…chan?”

I seize her hand and forcefully push it against her mouth.

“Gah?!”
“And, the charm is complete! With this, Rumi-san is going to be happier.”

I smile at Rumi, who is overcome with surprise.

“………”
“Please, make lots and lots of happiness.”

Rumi was more of a crybaby and spoiled compared to the others. But when I
died, I’m sure that’s when she started to hide the spoiled and weak side of her.
Being able to stand up on her own feet may be a good thing, but that’s not the
end of it. She needs to have someone else she can rely on, without having to
reserve herself.

It’s okay for her to be spoiled. She’s been working so hard, but it’d be
meaningless if she isn’t happy. If she herself doesn’t wish for happiness, she’ll
never be able to feel happy.

“……hh”

Still in a daze, tears start to form in the corners of her eyes. But, she doesn’t wipe
her flowing tears, and she doesn’t avert her eyes from me. Instead, she keeps
looking towards me as she weeps in silence.

“Are you all right?”

After a while, she raises her downcast face.

“Mhm… sorry, and thank you. Somehow, that makes me feel refreshed.”

She wipes her tears away and shows a refreshed smile, so I smile at her in return.
It’s like she’s been freed by an invisible shackle, as her face looks quite cheerful.

“Wow, I wonder if I actually have a talent for fortune telling.”

I’m asking in jest, but contrary to my expectations, Rumi nods with a serious
face.

“I believe that you do have the talent, Hinata-chan. It’s possible that you will
bring happiness to many people.”
“Ahaha, that’s not true. Although, I will consider being a fortune teller as one of
choices for my future career.”

But in truth, I don’t think I have that kind of talent at all. If I have to say, maybe
it’s the talent to do fortune telling fraud instead. Besides, I don’t have the ability
to grant happiness to many people. I don’t even have the power to make the
people around me happy.

“Hinata-chan, have you decided on your future career?”

“No, not in particular…”

I didn’t have any dreams that I wanted to achieve during my past life. I recall
writing the name of the local university when I submitted my career counseling
form at that time. And, I haven’t considered about the future of my present life
seriously, either.

“You’re just starting high school at the moment. So, I guess you haven’t decided
on anything.”
“Yes…”
“You may still have time ahead of you, but it’s better to start thinking about it,
you know? Especially when it’s about your future.”

Her tone is gentle, yet earnest, as she remonstrates me.

“Oh— you’re just like a teacher.”

“That’s because I’m one.”
When I give her a respectful gaze, she makes a wry smile.

“Hmm—”

I think Rumi’s right, I should start thinking about my future from now. Because,
there is no way to redo ‘my’ life. But still, what kind of job do I want…? Going on
a safe route as an office lady? It does have a high rate of employment.

“How about a pastry chef? After all, Hinata-chan likes confections, not to
mention that you’re good at making it.”
“Hm, but that’s only a hobby.”
“I believe it’d be wonderful if you can turn your hobby into an occupation.
Naturally, you will run into many hardships along the way.”
“…I will consider it.”

I still have a future ahead of me. My life as Sekiguchi Tsubaki had ended, but as
Hayase Hinata, I still have more to come. Time is finite, so I decide to think about
it more carefully from now on…. Nevertheless, being able to talk about my
future like this makes me so happy.

“Fufu……”
“W-what is it? It’s cruel of you to laugh after looking at someone else’s face like
that.”
“Sorry about that. It’s because Hinata-chan really resembles Nee-san.”
“Eh?”
“It’s not your appearance, but there are many things that are similar. Like your
personality, favorite foods, and your behaviors, too.”
“………”

I was careless because I thought that no one would ever know, but I guess I’m
showing my past traits too much. Should I take the chance to say, “I’m actually
the reincarnation of your sister,” or something? I’m really curious how she
would react… but I think, I can’t do that. I’d hate myself if I trifle with their lives
like that.

Hiori, Tsubaki, and Rumi are all walking forward with their own strength.
Therefore, [I] can’t be their shackle. It’s just right for me to watch over them
secretly, and push them from behind at times. It makes me feel a bit lonely, but
that’s how it should be. Because in these 16 years, they’ve all been treading their
own paths in their lives.
“At any rate, they’re late.”
“You’re right.”

Although it’s still early for dinner, it’s been quite a long time from the time we
separated. It’s starting to make me worry.

“Did they get caught by some salesman? Or, is it the talent scouts instead? They
could be getting hit on, too…”
“Nope, nope, and nope.”

I know that Hiori’s beauty and Tsubaki’s cuteness make them stand out, and
they’re often called out for one reason and another. There’s a chance of it
happening if Tsubaki was alone, but in Hiori’s case, she won’t even look at them.

Now that I think about it, when I was walking alone with Hiori at a shopping
district before, she kept ignoring anyone who’s trying to catch her attention. If
there was a persistent guy, she would intimidate him and say, “You’re a
nuisance.” That was so scary that it would make even a grown man back away.
For that reason, no one can catch her so easily.

“Hm— I wonder if something happened.”

“I will try to call them.”
“I see. Please do that.”

I take out my cell phone and try to give Tsubaki a call, but it won’t connect.
Maybe her battery has run out.

“Huh, it’s not connecting.”

“Maybe her cell phone has run out of power, or are they currently somewhere
with poor signals?”

I try to call Hiori, but she isn’t answering, either. Maybe Rumi is right about
them being somewhere with poor signals.

“I’m sure they’ll be home soon.”

“…You’re right.”

Well, since Hiori is with her, there should be no problem.

And so, we spend the time idly as we wait for their return.
 Reminiscence 6
In the same location, like always, Hiori is reading a book next to me. I open my
eyes after some shut eye, and I look at her side profile.

“……What’s wrong, Tsubaki?”

Maybe feeling bothered by my gaze, she knits her eyebrows in discomfort. Then,
she pauses reading and looks at me instead. From what I see, she doesn’t look so
well.

“You look down today. I’m worried.”

“I’m the same as always.”
“But, it’s showing on your face, you know?”
“…Aah, it must be because I didn’t sleep much yesterday after getting myself
engrossed in a book.”
“………”

As if to signify that the conversation is over, she turns her face away from me
and returns to her book. After getting indirectly rejected like that, I have nothing
else to say. I give a sidelong glance to the sight of her reading a book silently, and
I breathe a sigh.

Hiori has been looking strange lately. She’s acting like usual, but after being with
her for so long, I can tell that something’s wrong. Although it doesn’t show in
her attitude, there are times when I would be hit by a slight sense of discomfort.
Out of my worry, I ask her indirectly if something’s troubling her, but she
skillfully gives the slip every time. Since she’s smart, and I’m an idiot, she’s
always one or two levels above me. I’m not bragging about the fact that I’ve
never won an argument against her, not even once.

(What should I do about this…)

If she’s really troubled with something, I want to help her. But, I know that there
are some things that she doesn’t want me to get involved in, so I’m hesitating to
carelessly get deep into it.
“Tsubaki.”
“……What is it?”

Hiori, with her gaze still on the book, calls my name. It feels embarrassing
whenever she calls my name like this, I wonder why.

“Are you studying properly? You have a test approaching, don’t you?”
“You… know about it.”
“You informed me the other day yourself.”

Aah, that’s right. Since there are many parts of the subject that I’m poor at, I
ended up grumbling about it to her. Although, I usually hide it from her because
she will nag me to study if she knows that I have a test coming. Besides, it’s
pathetic of me to make Hiori worry about my studies even though she’s younger
than me…. Well, it’s too late for me, anyway.

“You’re going to have your university exam this year, so please take it more
seriously.”
“Okay, okay.”

The way she talks may sound cold, but I’m aware that she’s really worried about
me in her own way. Although I feel pathetic about it, her roundabout, clumsy
kindness still makes me happy.

“You should pay more… attention to yourself.”

“Eh?”

By the time I realize it, Hiori is already looking at me in earnest. Her gaze feels
more intense than usual, which makes me flinch in reflex.

“You’re always worrying about someone else while ignoring your own well
being. You should be thinking about yourself first and foremost.”
“That’s not true. I’m always thinking about myself, you know?”
“In that case, stop worrying about someone like me and think about your exam
instead.”
“……Hiori.”
“There’s nothing going on with me. I’m telling the truth, there’s nothing going
on at all.”

So, please.
And so Hiori appeals to me. Against her frantic request, I can do nothing but nod
wordlessly. It bothers me why she is so desperate about it, but I can only give up
now that she’s said that. I let her convince me, and decide to do my best studying
for the exam.

(…That’s not it.)

To tell the truth, I’m scared. I’m afraid that she’ll end up rejecting me if I try to
touch the deepest part of her. That’s why I can never ask her forcefully, only
putting a set distance without realizing it. Our current relationship might
crumble the moment I approach her carelessly, and it scares me.

Hiori told me that I’m always worrying about someone else while ignoring my
own well being. But, that’s actually not true. I’m an awful and egotistical person
who can only think about myself. I take advantage of her kindness and pretend
not to know anything. I’m weak. If I were stronger, if I were an adult, I wonder if
she would’ve relied on me.

I want to protect her from anything that may befall her. I want to make a place
where she can truly feel safe. I want to give her days where she can smile from
the bottom of her heart, every day.

But, I don’t have the strength, nor the wit, nor the courage. I’m frustrated by the
fact that I’m so pathetic.

“Hiori.”

I call her name. Then, I take her hand, which is colder than mine, and I grasp it
tightly. Tightly, so tightly, like I’m trying to pass my body temperature to her.
Without saying anything, she squints, looking at me like she’s happy about
something.

——I’ll do what I can for her sake.

“Hey, let’s make a pinky swear.”
“Eh?”

I gently entwine her little finger with my own.

“If there’s anything that troubles you, or pains you, you will swear that you will
tell me about it. Anything, okay?”
“………”
“If you don’t, I’ll get too worried to study.”
“…All right.”

She reluctantly agrees to it, and stiffens her pinky finger. I shake our hands
slowly and start the rite of promise.

“Pinky swear, whoever tells a lie will swallow ten thousand… actually, that’s a
bit unrealistic… ah, that’s it. Whoever tells a lie won’t get any snacks for a
while!”
“That punishment does sound like a trouble for you, but it’s quite trivial to me,
in fact.”
“Ugh, you’re right about that…. Then, Hiori, if you break the promise, I won’t
come to meet you for a while.”
“That’s… more painful than having to swallow ten thousand needles.”
“……Eh?! Ah, r-really?”

Uwah, that really took me by surprise. When she says that so smoothly and
earnestly, it makes me stumped from embarrassment. I think my face is red all
the way to my ears. She usually wears a sour look on her face, so it’s hard to tell
whether she’s enjoying or hating it when we’re together. It really makes me
happy to know that she actually wants to meet me. Actually, she chased me out
the moment she saw my face when we first met. That was really intimidating.
Compared to the past, I feel that she’s showing more emotions now.

“A-anyway, it doesn’t really matter as long as you keep your promise, right?
Punishment exists for that reason, you know! Yup!”
“…Can’t you think of a different punishment?”
“No—pe. You have to keep your promise, okay?”
“……yes.”

It seems that the punishment that I thought up has quite the effect on Hiori. With
this, I’m sure that she’ll listen to my words. Actually, this punishment is hard not
only to Hiori, but to me, too. I’ll be really troubled if she doesn’t protect her
promise properly.

“It’s a swear.”

I release our entwined little fingers, and so our rite of promise——has concluded.

“…Don’t you think it’s about time you return to the mansion?”
“We still have time. It’s all right.”

Hiori doesn’t seem physically well, either. This cold wind isn’t good for her
health. I think it’s better for her to warm herself in her room earlier. Although
even if I tell her, I’m sure she won’t listen to it. She’s smart, dignified, beautiful,
and calm, but she’s stubborn, obstinate, and she never listens to others. She’s
my… cute, childhood friend.

“Just a bit longer then.”

“Hey…?!”

To shield her from the cold wind, I hug her from behind. Ooh, she feels really
soft and warm.

“W-what are you doing?”

“Well~ it’s getting colder because the sun has gone down. I’m searching for
warmth….”
“Stupid! Let me go!”
“No way—”

She’s making quite the strange reaction coming from her, she’s betraying her
own composure. Huh? I thought this level of skinship is quite normal, but does
she really hate it? Now that I think of it, have I ever act this close to Hiori before?
Although she resists for a while, she concludes that I’m not letting go no matter
what, so she resigns herself to it.
“A-are you angry?”
“Geez… do as you like.”

She turns her blushing face away from me, and answers with a jaded voice. It’s
making me feel guilty about it.

“S-sorry.”

Although, I’m still not letting go. I don’t want to part from this gentle warmth
that feels so kind and soothing. Although I was hugging her to warm her up, I
feel that I’m actually the one who gains from it…. Besides, I could have just lent
her my coat. W-well, it’s already too late for that, so forget it.

“………”

Still in a huddle, we both look up at the sky. Maybe she’s pouting, since she’s not
saying anything at all. But even so, the time that I spend with her feels really
comfortable that I can’t help it.

I wanted to always, always stay with her like this… forever.

 Slowly, Tied Together

I wonder how long has it been since I last went shopping with Mom.

I can’t seem to remember when, so it must have been a really long time ago. I
look at my mother who is calmly walking next to me, and she notices my gaze
soon after, so our eyes end up meeting.

“Do you need to buy anything else?”

“Ah, mm-mm, I’m all set.”
“Is that so?”

I’m really happy to be able to go shopping with Mom after so long, and I end up
buying many other things instead of just the ones that I forgot. I look at the many
shopping bags in both our hands, and I make a wry smile.

Hinata-san has gone ahead with Rumi-san. I did send an email saying that we
would be late, though it’s still rude to make our guests wait. We really have to
hurry home. When Hinata-san replied, ‘Don’t mind us, just take your time,’ I
ended up taking up on her kindness until the day is turning so late.

Still, I really had fun today. Although Mom is a person of few words, she is
talking more often to me now. And above all, she’s now looking straight at me
while we’re talking. She would usually turn away and avoid looking at my eyes
before.

“Come to think of it.”

It comes to mind on our way home.

“Mom likes western food, and Rumi-san likes Japanese food… but what kind of
cooking would Hinata-san like?”

We’ve invited her to dinner and all, I want to make what she likes while we’re at
it.
I know that she likes sweets, but I never heard about her favorite foods. I think
she mentioned that except for Chinese foods, she doesn’t have any specific
preferences when we were shopping earlier. But, that doesn’t really answer the
question at hand…. It feels as if Hinata-san has been with us forever. But when I
think about it again, we’ve just met recently, so I barely know anything about
her.

“…How about you call her and ask?”

“Ah, you’re right.”

I take out my cell phone, thinking to get in touch with Hinata-san, but it won’t
start up for some reason.

“Ah, I have forgotten to charge it…”

I had planned to do it later, but I ended up forgetting about it completely. I

regret not replacing it with my spare battery before I went out. I was so happy
when Hinata-san invited me to go shopping that I ended up hurrying. The state
of my cell phone completely slipped my mind. Uuh, I should learn to be a bit
more collected like Mom.

“It can’t be helped. Use mine.”

“Wah, thank you very much.”

Mom can’t endure to watch and gives me her cell phone. I press the call button,
but when I’m about to key in the phone number, my hand freezes.

“Ah, but, I don’t memorize Hinata-san’s number.”

“I have her contact information saved in my phone record. Look for it.”
“…Y-yes.”

While wondering why Mom has Hinata-san’s contacts, I look it up as told.

“Ah.”
“You found it?”
“Um, Mom’s cell phone is… out of battery, too.”
“………I see.”
Mom awkwardly turns away from me and looks somewhere far away. Hm? Is
this her being embarrassed? It makes me happy to see a new side of Mom who
always seems composed. I find it quite comical, and I giggle secretly so that she
won’t notice.

“Still, this is quite the problem.”

With both our cell phones unusable, we can only give up getting in touch with
them. Now that there’s no way to know Hinata-san’s favorite foods, I have no
idea of what kind of ingredients to bring home, either. I can only pray that they
can be prepared with the things we have. I return the dead cell phone to Mom.

“Isn’t it fine to make her favorite foods next time? I believe that for today, you
should stick to what you want to cook, Tsubaki.”
“…You’re right. I’ll do my best.”

She’s right. Today, I will cook my specialties for Hinata-san… rather, for
everyone to eat. I’m confident with my cooking, which I’ve learned from Aunt
Sekiguchi since I was a child. I’ll make the most delicious foods possible for the
people I cherish with all of my skills and gratitude.

——After all, they’re the reason why I can spend this time together with Mom
peacefully.

“On the other hand, Hinata-san seems to dislike Chinese foods, so I will avoid
making them today.”

Sweet-and-sour pork is included among my specialties, but I shouldn’t serve

what she dislikes. I still have many other options, so there’s no problem to pass
on that this time.

“That girl… dislikes Chinese foods?”

“Yes. Hinata-san’s Mom said so, and Hinata-san herself confirmed it.”
“…I see.”
“?”
She suddenly hangs her head and ponders. Mom looks the same as always, but
somehow I can tell that she’s crestfallen. Did I say something that saddened her?
I ask her about my unease, but she shakes her head right away and refutes it.

“It’s just that, it makes me remember about the past.”

That’s what Mom says while showing a lonely, yet warm smile on her face. Now
that I think of it, when there’s a sad look on Mom’s expression, she’s most likely
remembering about the [past]. Whenever she looks sad while looking at me, it’s
surely because I’m making her recall the past.

Mom rarely talks about it. The only things she’s told me since then were about
my father, and a bit about Mom’s childhood friend. She must have gone through
a lot. I believe that the reason she doesn’t want to tell me is for my own sake.

I had believed that [the reason she doesn’t talk to me is because she doesn’t care
about me] before. But now, I can say that it’s not true. In reality, [the reason Mom
doesn’t talk about it is because she’s worried about me]. Therefore, she doesn’t
need to force herself to talk about it anymore. But at the same time, I don’t want
her to carry all the burdens by herself.

“Mom!”
“Eh?”
“I’m sure that Hinata-san and Rumi-san have gotten tired of waiting. Let’s hurry
home.”
“H-hey, Tsubaki.”

I hold my mother’s hand and start walking in quick steps, which end up pulling
her towards me. Mom is astonished by abrupt behavior, but she still follows me
in the end. And so, we hurry onward. I’m sure that it will be fun when we get
home. After all, there are gentle and kind people waiting for us there, and they
will surely warm up Mom’s chilled heart.

If Mom is caught by the darkness of her past, then I will pull her towards the
future. No matter how many times it will take, I’ll keep doing the same.

Even if I can’t become the substitute for Mom’s beloved person, I believe there’s
something that only I can do.
*

“We’re home.”

When we enter the living room, I see Rumi-san raising her head and smile
sweetly with a magazine in her hand.

“Welcome back, you two. We tried calling you, but it wouldn’t connect. You got
us a bit worried there.”
“I’m sorry we’re home late. We thought of contacting you, but both our cell
phones went out of batteries.”
“Ah, I see. Fufu, you can be absent-minded at times.”
“I don’t want you to tell me that.”
“Uwah, Hiori-san. That’s harsh.”

While listening to Mom’s amusing conversation with Rumi-san from the

sidelines, I realize that I do not hear her voice. Finding it strange, I search for her,
to find that she’s right there on the in the same room. Hinata-san must have been
tired of waiting for us, as she’s now sleeping pleasantly on the sofa. I place the
groceries on the table and I approach her quietly so that I won’t wake her up.
She’s breathing rhythmically, and her innocent, sleeping face looks so adorable
that I can spend forever looking at her.

“We’re playing cards together until just a while ago. But when we took a short
break, she’s already asleep when I wasn’t looking.”
“It seems that Hinata-san likes sleeping, after all.”
“Is that so? Really, she’s just like Nee-san…”
“………”

Before I know it, everyone is gazing at Hinata-san. She grimaces, seemingly ill at
ease, then she mutters an incomprehensible mumble before turning over in her
sleep.
“Fufu, Hinata-san is sleeping so peacefully.”
“You’re right. We have no reason to wake her up, so just let her be.”
“Ah, then I’ll lend Tsubaki-chan a hand.”
“Thank you very much, Rumi-san.”

I reluctantly leave her side and heads to the kitchen with Rumi-san. After we
finish carrying all the ingredients, we put on aprons and start the preparation.

“Soo, what are you making today?”

“Let’s see… I’m thinking of Rumi-san’s favorite hamburg steak, and mixed rice…
along with gratin.”
“Ooh~! That’s something to look forward to~”
“I want to add one more dish… but what would be good?”

While taking out the vegetables to wash, I ask Rumi-san. She answers after
thinking about it for a moment.

“How about, cabbage rolls?”

“Ah, that’s a good idea.”

The essential ingredients are all present, so there will be no problem making
them.

“Although, are cabbage rolls Japanese foods, or Chinese?”

“Hmm, I think it’s Japanese… why the question, though?”
“Hinata-san said that she dislikes Chinese foods, so I want to avoid making
them.”

Hearing my reply, Rumi-san looks at me in wonder. Then, she giggles softly.

“It’s as if Hinata-chan is Nee-san’s reincarnation.”

“Eh?”
“The things they like, the things they hate; they’re amazingly similar to each
other. And their aura, or rather, their personalities match, too.”

I recall Mom said that she resembled Rumi-san’s elder sister, too. But when I
hear Rumi-san mention the word ‘reincarnation’, my heart jumps for some
reason.
——Then, do you believe in the circle of transmigration?

When I was feeling down after running away from Mom, Hinata-san kindly
cheered me up before muttering those words out of nowhere. It had left me in
wonder why she would ask me that question all of a sudden.

——Hinata-san, do you believe in it? I mean, in reincarnation?

But when I ask Hinata-san, it’s like she was trying to console herself.

——I suppose. I think it’s a happy thing to be reincarnated. I got to meet a new
family, and I also met Hiori, Tsubaki, and Rumi. I had always wondered why I
get to retain my memories… but after coming to this town, I feel like it doesn’t
matter anymore. No, that’s not quite right. From the bottom of my heart, I’m
grateful to retain my memories when I was reborn.

(Could it be?)

I didn’t understand what she meant back then. I thought that it was a joke that
she came up with to cheer me up. But, what if it wasn’t a joke, but the truth?
What if Hinata-san reincarnated with [someone]’s memories?

(But, is that even…)

There’s no way such a dreamlike story can be real. But, when I told Hinata-san
that I wanted to believe in ‘reincarnation’, it seemed that it made her happy.
Above all, it seems like Hinata-san has known Mom from long ago. Not to add
that both Mom and Rumi-san say that they resemble each other.

I don’t know what the truth is. I’m surprised at myself for even considering
something so illogical. But, what if… what if Hinata-san is really [that person]’s
reincarnation……?

“Sekiguchi… Tsubaki-san……”
“Hm? What’s the matter with Nee-san? ……hey Tsubaki-chan, what’s wrong?!”
“Ah……”

When I realize it, tears are already spilling to my cheeks. I don’t understand why
I’m crying myself.

“I’m sorry. The onion is stinging my eyes…”

“But Tsubaki-chan, that’s clearly a burdock that you’re cutting over there.”
“A-ahaha… that’s strange.”
“…Are you okay?”

I make the best smile I can to assure Rumi-san. Perhaps relieved to see that, she
gives me a smile of her own. I wipe away the tears around my eyes and try to
behave like usual. That is, while hiding the fact that my heart is still thumping
fast.

“Maybe my eyes are tired. I’m going to take some eye drops.”
“Okay—”

I convey my intention to Rumi-san, who is peeling a carrot timidly with a kitchen

knife, before leaving the kitchen. I enter the living room to look for the eye drops.
Hinata-san is still sound asleep, and Mom is vacantly looking at her sleeping
face. Mom notices my presence and she turns to look at me.

“What’s wrong?”
“I’m looking for some eye drops…”
“I see. You’ll find them in the shelf next to you.”
“Yes.”
I open the shelf that Mom was pointing and I quickly find them. After I
accomplish my objective, I close the shelf slowly so that it doesn’t make a sound.

“……zzz”

Her sleeping face is so innocent, which is fitting for someone her age. No matter
how I look, she’s just a normal girl. Although, there are times when Hinata-san
appears much more mature than what her age would suggest.

(I wonder if… I’m just worrying too much.)

Maybe it’s just one coincidence piling on top of another. Yes, it’s only by chance
that she has the same preferences as that person…. But, the words that Hinata-
san said, and her expression at that time, I can’t seem to get it off my mind.

“Are you waking her up?”

Perhaps my stare catches Mom’s attention, as she calls me out in a small voice.
But I lightly shake my head.

“No, it’s just that… it seems she’s sleeping so happily.”

It’s like her sleeping face would make the ones looking at her feel happy, as well.
It would be rude of me to keep staring at Hinata-san like this, so I take my eyes
off her and looks at Mom.

“You’re right…”

Mom responds to me with an expression that’s difficult to read. Then, she slowly
leaves her seat and heads towards the entranceway.

“Mom?”
“Sorry, I’m going out for a bit…. Don’t worry, I’ll be back by dinner.”
“Ah, b-but…”

All of a sudden, the way Mom looks makes me feel worried. It makes me want to
stop her. I don’t understand it myself, but somehow, I have a bad feeling about
it.
“I’m okay.”

Mom lowers her eyebrows and gently brushes my head. But her caring gesture
and words are making me feel even more anxious.

“I’ll… be back soon.”

A short while after, Mom leaves the place. I can only watch her from behind.

“Ah… I need to prepare the foods….”

I can’t leave Rumi-san in the kitchen by herself, I need to return soon.

I tell myself that it’s going to be alright, that I’m just imagining it.

I chase away the uneasiness to the corner of my mind as I hurry back to the
kitchen.
 Two Blooming Camellias

“…hm……?”

I slowly raise my seemingly powerless body to look around. It gradually comes

to me that I have dozed off. And finally, I remember that I’m currently not at my
own home.

(Aah, I see.)

…It seems that I’ve fallen asleep while waiting for Hiori and Tsubaki. My body
hurts a bit, maybe because I’m sleeping on the sofa.

“Yawn… I sure slept well.”

“My, you’re awake.”
“Mhm…”
“Would you like dinner first? A bath? Or maybe… a scrubbing brush?
“………”
While I’m stretching my body, I notice a suspicious person in front of me, which
makes me freeze in place. She doesn’t look embarrassed at all as she shows me a
delighted smile. In the first place, what does she intend to do with that scrubbing
brush in her hand?

No, I lose if I make a retort here. Aah, but I really want to! …and so my heart
grows conflicted with those trivial worries, all while feigning a composed look
on my face.

“…So, what are you doing here, Mom?”

If my memories haven’t failed me, Mom should be dining a full-course Chinese

dinner with Saki today. So why is Mom here at Tsubaki’s house? When I strain
my ears, I can faintly hear Saki, Rumi, and Tsubaki talking in the kitchen.

(Ah, so Tsubaki is home.)

I was getting worried because they were late, so that’s a relief. I’m now more
curious to know what Mom is doing here.
“…You know, When Mom thinks about my precious daughter, whom I have to
leave all alone, as I head for a luxurious dinner… Mom can’t bear to go….”

She looks sad as she sheds some crocodile tears. Um, you’re being too obvious,
you know. You should try a bit more to deceive me.

“Okay, okay. So, what are you doing here, Mom?”

“My! How cruel of you! You don’t believe Mom, do you?!”
“It makes me want to ask you which part of your story is actually believable.”
“Look at Mom’s eyes! Do they look like the eyes of a liar?!”

It’s sweltering when she shoves her face up close to me like that, so I turn my
face sideways. However, Mother doesn’t give up from that and uses both her
hands to seize my face and make me face her.

“Hiinaataaaaa!”
“Noo waaaaaay!”

With Mom grabbing my head, I grab her hands to resist. Uwaaah, it hurts… Both
my face and neck are hurting…

“What are you doing? Both of you.”

When Saki enters the living room, she looks at our stalemate engagement in pity.
Uuh, it’s not like I’m doing this because I want to. Perhaps my sister’s
appearance makes Mother lose her interest, she finally releases me. Aah… I’m
saved… good job, Saki!

“Well, I was asking what Mom and Saki are doing here.”

I tell her while relaxing my hurting neck. In response, Saki suddenly goes into a
pout and sulks.

“Aah, you see. I’d hate it if the restaurant is full when we arrive, so I called to
make a reservation. And, we found out that it’s their fixed day off today.”
“…Hoo.”
“Tehe☆”
Mother tries to laugh it off. I’ve actually had my suspicions from the start, so it
doesn’t really matter to me, though. Still, it’s really unlucky that the place is
closed for the day.

“So, as we planned to eat somewhere else, we met Tsubaki-san’s Mom outside. It

was as she was about to leave home.”
“Tsubaki’s Mom?”

Hm? Now that I notice, Hiori is nowhere to be found. Since I only heard
Tsubaki’s and Rumi’s voices from the kitchen, I figured she had returned to her
own room. If Saki met her outside, does it mean that she’s going out somewhere
again?

“So, when we told her that we were going out to eat, she invited us to eat dinner
together instead. That’s why we’re here.”
“Heeh, I see. Eat dinner… together…… aaah?!”
“Hey, Onee-chan. What’s wrong with you?”

I.FOR.GOT!

I said to Tsubaki that we would make dinner together, but I had totally
overslept!

“Hey, Onee-chan?!”
“My, my.”

I rush to the kitchen, and I see Rumi and Tsubaki side by side, each doing their
own tasks. Uwooh, it smells so delicious. I’m looking forward to dinner… hey,
THAT.IS.NOT.IT!

“Sorry!!”

I lower my head and apologize with all my heart. Perhaps belatedly noticing me,
the two make a yelp.

“H-Hinata-san?! Eh, wait, um, anyway, please raise your head!”

“Even though I was the one who suggested to cook dinner together, please
forgive my impudence for sleeping in so selfishly!!”
“Um, like I said, please… hey, what are you groveling on the ground for?!”
“Otherwise, I won’t be able to forgive myself! Ah, feel free to curse at me! Don’t
hold back!”
“Eh? Eeeeh?! But, um!”
“…Hinata-chan, aren’t you still half-asleep? Come on now, you’re troubling
Tsubaki-chan.”

Rumi pats my head, which is rubbing the ground. I timidly raise my head, and I
notice that Tsubaki looks as if she’s gonna cry for some reason. Heey, why am I
making her cry instead? Looking at Tsubaki’s troubled expression gradually
calms me down, and my head starts to clear up.

“Um, I’m sorry… for sleeping in…”

“Don’t worry about it. Hinata-san is our guest after all. You should be taking it
easy.”
“But, still…”
“Tsubaki-chan is right. It’s Hinata-chan’s family’s welcoming party today, so you
should just relax this time.”

Hm? Huh? When did it turn into our welcoming party?

“Now that you’ve known about it, please leave everything to us. The guests of
honor should make themselves at home in the living room, okay~♪”
“Eh? …wah, wait a second…”

I end up getting chased out of the kitchen with their smiles. With no other choice,
I return to the living room to find Mother and my sister making themselves at
home. Mom has turned on the TV and is laughing hard, while Saki is lying on
the sofa, reading a fashion magazine that I think she brought from home.

I breathe a sigh, and I sit somewhere empty. It’s probably gonna take a bit longer
until dinner is ready. What should I do now?

“………ah.”

I think it wasn’t there when I visited the other day. There’s a picture frame that
catches my attention. It’s a photo of Hiori and a child Tsubaki, maybe when she’s
still in primary school. Hiori looks as unfriendly as ever, while Tsubaki is
showing a smile. It’s somewhat crude, but there’s no doubt this is their [family
photo]. Rumi was probably the one taking it. Hiori hates the camera, so she must
have forced her against her will.
Come to think of it, I once tried to take Hiori’s photo in secret with my cell
phone. But she found me out, and she wouldn’t talk to me for the whole day
after. On the other hand, she’d taken so many photos of me…. which I didn’t
really mind since I like being on the camera.

As I recall the past, I’m feeling really nostalgic.

I’m reliving the past as I gaze at the photo for a while, then I feel someone
reservedly tapping on my shoulder from behind. I turn around to see that it’s
Tsubaki, whom I thought was in the kitchen.

“Hinata-san.”
“Huh? What’s wrong, Tsubaki?”

Could it be that dinner’s ready? They’ve just started cooking when I peeked into
the kitchen earlier, so maybe not. Tsubaki looks somewhat serious, before her
expression changes to that of her usual kind smile.

“I came to ask about Hinata-san’s favorite foods.”

“Favorite foods…? I like cabbage rolls.”
“…Do you prefer it cooked with tomato sauce?”
“Yup, that’s right. Could it be that Tsubaki has the same preference?”
“Yes.”

I heard there are many households that put consomme as the flavoring, but I can
declare firmly that I like my cabbage rolls cooked with tomato sauce. Its sweet
and sour taste really goes well with rice.

“Ah, by the way, where’s Hio… Tsubaki’s Mom? She was with you right?”
“Yes, but she went out again just earlier. She told me that she would be home by
dinner, though….”
“I see.”

I wonder where she’s loitering around…. She should’ve taken it easy at home,
even if the dinner isn’t ready. I’m amazed by her lack of cooperativeness as
always. Although when I look at Tsubaki, she looks worried about something.

“Tsubaki?”
“Ah…… no, it’s nothing.”
If she tells me that when her worry is clearly shown on her face, it just makes me
more worried instead. Is there something in her mind?

“Something you can’t speak about?”

I tell her gently while looking at her eyes. She looks conflicted whether or not to
answer. But after a while, she finally gives in and answer.

“…It’s really not that big of a deal…”

“Uh-huh.”

“…Um, when Mom was about to leave, she looked strange. And it worries
me….”
“She looked strange?”
“Somehow, she looks different from usual…. I can’t really put it in words, but…
I have a bad feeling. Ah, but, it’s nothing that serious. It could be that just I’m
imagining it….”

Imagining it, huh…. Hiori’s expression rarely changes, which makes it hard to
read her emotions. That’s also how she’s able to hide her real feelings easily.

“I’m just worrying too much, I’m sure of it. Ah, I have to return to the kitchen
soon…”
“Ah, Tsubaki…!”

I grab Tsukabi’s arm to stop her, but she ends up losing her balance from being
startled.

“Kyah?!”
“Wah!!”

She’s going to fall down at this rate! I pull Tsubaki forcefully towards me to
restore her posture, and she ends up in my arms.

…Well, thank goodness I can support her without losing my own balance.
Someone could’ve hit their head against the table. I sigh in relief.

“H-Hinata-san!”
“Sorry for grabbing you out of the blue…. Are you okay?”
“Y-y-yes! There’s n-no problem at all!”
“?”

When I look at Tsubaki, her face has turned faintly red. Then, I realize that
maybe she’s having trouble breathing because I’m hugging her too tightly. So, I
release her in a fluster.

“Sorry, did it hurt?”

“N-no! That’s not true.”

Still blushing, Tsubaki waves her hand vigorously to deny it. Well, as long as
she’s safe.

“Geez— you should be more secretive if you want to flirt around like that— The
temperature in this room is rising high, you know~”
“Fufu, I thought Hinata was a late-bloomer, but you’re actually pretty bold,
aren’t you? I knew that you’re my daughter—the eldest daughter of Hayase
family.”

Hey, what was I doing anyway?! I was just helping Tsubaki when she’s about to
fall down, you know?!”

“I’ve thought of Onee-chan as a more taciturn person.”

“Oh my, you think so, too, Saki?”

Mother and my sister are rudely whispering about a mixture of truths and lies.
Hearing their conversation, Tsubaki is turning even redder, like she’s going to
boil. A-anyway, I need to hush those two before their misleading conversation
reaches a point of no return…!!

*beep beep beep beep!*

“Huh?”

I hear a basic ringtone coming from below. It’s from a cell phone that’s lying on
the table, which I’ve seen somewhere before. It’s not just the cell phone that’s
familiar to me, I remember the strap that’s attached to it, too.

“This is…”
I take the cell phone in my hand and stare at it. It’s scratched and dirty all over,
and this model is already over 10 year olds. The sub display is showing the word
‘alarm’, so that must have been the sound of the alarm ringing.

“That is Mom’s other cell phone.”

“Oh, Tsubaki’s Mom has two cell phones?”
“Yes, it seems like she’s been cherishing it for a really long time. She would
always carry it with her… but I guess she forgot this time….”
“I see….”

The strap sways. I inadvertently flip open the cell phone, and the screen displays
a nostalgic photo.

There’s [Tsubaki] laughing without a care in this world like an idiot, and Hiori
who seems to be reluctantly looking at the camera.

I think this was the most precious photo that we finally took together after I had
been asking her since forever. I was so happy with the picture, and I had
configured it as my wallpaper. I think she yelled at me, telling me to delete it
because it was too embarrassing. Even so, I secretly kept it as my wallpaper.
That’s just how much I liked this photo.

“………”

I close my past self’s cell phone and hands it over to Tsubaki. It’s no longer mine,
so it’s not right for me to have it.

“I’m sorry for opening it without asking.”

“…It’s fine. More importantly, Hinata-san.”
“Hm?”

She returns the cell phone that I just gave her.

“Eh? Why……”
“It may be presumptuous of me to make this request of you, but would you
please deliver this cell phone to Mom?”
“Sure… but why so suddenly?”
“This cell phone is like a good-luck charm to her. She told me about it yesterday.
I think I’m repeating myself, but I’m having this unease. So, would you mind
bringing it to her?”
“I don’t mind bringing it, but do you know where she is?”
“Ah… umm…”

It seems that she doesn’t know where she was heading. Tsubaki is really cute
when she’s hiding her blushing face like this. Hmm! Truly a sight for sore eyes.

“Can you try calling her cell phone?”

“Ah, actually, Mom’s cell phone ran out of battery.”
“…Oh. But since she said that she would be back by dinner, she shouldn’t be
heading somewhere far. I’ll walk around and see if I can find her.”
“But……”
“Ah, even if I miss her, you can just contact me when she comes home.”
“Y-yes…”
“I’ll be going, then.”

I go to the entranceway and prepare to head out. While I’m putting on my shoes,
Tsubaki approaches me, instead of going back to the kitchen.

“I’m sorry. I’ve asked you something troublesome…”

“It’s okay, this is nothing much.”

I give her a smile, and her apologetic face loosens a bit as she smiles back to me.

“Um……”
“Eh?”
“It’s nothing. Please take care on your way…”

It bothers me that she’s holding the words in, but she’s waving her hand to me.
So I wave back to her in response.

“Hinata-san!!”
When I put my hand on the door handle to leave, she calls my name with a
rather loud voice in her respect. When I turn around, it takes by surprise.

“Hinata-san.”
“Tsuba…ki…?”

It’s as if she just got harshly scolded——she’s looking at me like she’s going to
start crying at a moment’s notice. I wonder what’s making her so sad. Was it…
something I said?

“Um… I…… I…”

“………”

I look at her without saying anything. Tsubaki slowly closes her eyes, and she
opens them again after a brief pause. Then, she looks straight into my eyes and
says…

“I’m, really glad that, I was born…”

Pieces of words are voiced out. But, they have surely reached my ears.
“So… thank you.”

I can’t look away from Tsubaki’s earnest eyes.

Why… would she say those words to me? I should be just someone that she ran
across a few days back, and a neighbor. I think we got closer in this short while,
but it still doesn’t explain why she would tell me those words. I do think of
Tsubaki as someone special to me. But on the other hand, she should be thinking
of me as her friend at most. So, why would she—so earnestly, and with all her
feelings——thank me?

“………”

I have no idea how I should reply, facing Tsubaki’s gaze is all I can do. My mind
is jumbled up, and I’ve gotten too confused to think properly. What is in
Tsubaki’s mind as she said those words to me? Why is she thanking me?
Questions keep piling inside my head. I’ve always been told that I’m slow in the
head, and damn they’re right about it.

“I’m glad that I was born, too, I guess. Yup… ———I’m glad that I met you.”

Anyway, I shouldn’t think too much about it and just tell her what I feel. Those
words alone might not be able to convey my whole feelings to her, but even so,
it’s fine.

Hearing my reply, Tsubaki smiles from ear to ear. Looking at her contented face
is making me really embarrassed. I avert my eyes, and I scratch my cheek.

“Just kidd–“
“Hinata-san.”
Just when I’m about to play the fool like always, she calls my name, interrupting
me. It’s a quiet voice, yet it feels earnest at the same time. There’s a mysterious
drive from her that’s making me feel nervous.

“Hinata-san.”

She calls me with a hoarse voice, like she’s trying to hold something back, like
there’s something stuck in her throat.

“…thank you.”

Perhaps finally losing all the brakes, tears start spilling from her eyes. That’s
when I finally realize the small possibility that shouldn’t have existed.

“…Tsubaki… could it be that…”

…you noticed?

I’m too afraid to finish my question. But she faces me, without asking anything,
without saying anything, except for conveying her heartfelt gratitude to [me]
again and again.

It’s possible that it’s just my misunderstanding. But, if she’s really conveying her
gratitude to [me]…

Is that my recompense? Does it erase my sense of guilt? Can I say with pride that
I’ve done the right thing?

No, that’s wrong.

She isn’t looking at [Sekiguchi Tsubaki], yet she isn’t looking at just [Hayase
Hinata], either. Perhaps she’s actually looking at both my past self as [Sekiguchi
Tsubaki] and the present [Hayase Hinata]. Perhaps that’s why she has been
calling [Hinata] over and over again. She doesn’t need to ask me anything. No
words are needed, either. She’s telling me that I only need to be here. She’s
telling me that who I was in the past doesn’t matter, because I’m no one but [me].

Nobody would normally believe in such an unimaginable thing like

reincarnation. Maybe my own desire is making me imagine all this. But if it’s all
true, then it’d be so————

“Please go and fetch Mom.”

The words that she imparts, ring true in my heart.

“……ah.”

Is it fine, already?

Can I end this ‘penalty game’ now?

Can I stand in the same place as Hiori?

Can I really stay… next to her…?

My cheek feels cold, so I bring my hand to touch it. It’s wet. I didn’t notice it, but
it seems that I’m crying. I wipe away the dripping tears with my arm. But no
matter how many times I keep wiping, the tears just won’t stop.
“Hinata-san.”

She hugs me softly. She’s acknowledging [my] existence.

It’s enough. Really, it’s enough.

“Thank you, Tsubaki.”

It’s possible that it’d be meaningless even if I tell Hiori about [my] existence. It’s
possible that it’d only bring her more sorrow and misfortune. It’s possible that
she won’t believe me to begin with.

I’m really afraid, afraid that she might reject [me]. But, if there’s someone who
acknowledges [me], even if it’s only one person; if there’s a warm place that
would accept [me].

“…I’m heading off.”

I’ll be going, to meet her.
 Reminiscence 2 -side Hiori-
——I first met that man, Kashima Masayuki, 17 years ago.

Since I met Tsubaki, I had been able to spend every day with happiness, and my
days had felt so complete. However, with Father’s referral, a university student
became my private tutor out of the blue; that was Kashima. At a glance, he
looked like an agreeable youth who would be popular among girls. He is the son
and heir of a rapidly growing enterprise.

I had told Father that I did not need a private tutor, but Father didn’t lend me
even an ear. So, that man came to supervise me a few times a week. I thought
that learning under him would be bothersome at most, but Kashima would
persistently tag me along anywhere I go. He would talk about trivial things
while I’m studying, and he would invite me out whenever I’m on break.
Naturally, I wasn’t interested in all that. I refused him, and I ignored about those
matters altogether.

But that day… it’s frustrating me, as much as I hate to even to remember about it.

That man… he assaulted me.

Going against a man who was much taller than a female middle school student
proved to be futile. My resistance was in vain.

I feel nausea and vertigo hitting me just by remembering it. At that time, I
thought of biting off my own tongue to commit suicide.

——But, her voice rang true in my head, granting me the aspiration to keep
living.

‘Hiori.’

Along with her voice, her innocent smile played back in my head. She was
slightly foolish, yet kinder than anyone. She was my most important, beloved
girl. I wanted to be by her side forever, and that was the reason I refused to die,
no matter how painful it was.

Tsubaki, was my everything.

That was why I was afraid that she would learn about that matter. I was scared
more than anything that she would come to hate me.

That was why, I had hidden it from her.

I had been proficient at hiding my own feelings for a long time, and I was used to
telling lies. But, she still noticed the small changes in me. She was usually obtuse,
but she would always be perceptive during such moments. I hated that part of
her. Lying to her awfully pained my heart, but it was still better than being
hated, I thought. Thus, I endured.

……I even made a promise that I didn’t intend to fulfill. It would be all right as
long as she didn’t know, that was I thought.

——But eventually, she learned about everything, and the promise was broken.

Nonetheless, she had stayed with me. Even when I told her my doubts about
keeping the new life in my womb, she was by my side, supporting me. As long
as she was with me, I believed that I could overcome anything.

But, I wonder how much I had let her spoil me. I wonder how much I had let her
feel sad and hurt.

————And then, the punishment came.

I’m going to the garden to meet Tsubaki like always, and I find her sitting, well-
hidden at the usual spot. Usually, she would notice me approaching and wave
her hand. But this time, she remains looking towards the ground. Maybe she’s
sleeping, yes, like the time when we first met. But, how wrong I was. As I
approach her, the strange spectacle comes to my notice.

“Tsubaki…?”

I doubt my eyes. It’s like I’m watching a horrible nightmare. Her abdomen is
deep red, and there are dark reddish spots all over her body. She looks ghastly
pale, and her breathing is ragged. A distinctive pair of scissors, tainted with a
dark red liquid, is lying next to her.
That unbelievable spectacle makes my head turn blank for a short while, before
my body springs back into action as I realize the gravity of the situation.

“Tsubaki!!!!”

I rush over to her in a fluster, and I shake her body lightly. While drenching in
blood, she slowly opens her eyes and looks towards me with her unfocused
pupils.

“Hi…ori?”
“Tsubaki! Hang in there! Tsubaki, Tsubaki, Tsubaki!!”
“…I’m okay. No need to worry so much.”
“But, look at how much you’re bleeding.”

When I hold her body, her blood sticks all over my hand. No matter how I look
at it, her bleeding is severe.

“Aha… actually, it doesn’t hurt. I’m okay…”

She shows me a calm smile, so calm that it actually makes me believe in her
words. I regain a bit of my composure from that.

“How did this… just what… no, I should call the ambulance first!”
“Mm, please.”
“Hang on, I’ll make the call right away. My cell phone… is in my room. Geez,
why today of all times?!”
“Haha, the always composed Hiori can also be flustered, like this. But, it’s bad
for the child in your womb. Calm down, okay?”
“What are you talking about during such an emergency!!”

I think of borrowing Tsubaki’s cell phone, but apparently she left hers at home,
too. So I turn around to hurry and retrieve mine.

“Hiori.”

I hear my name being called from behind. When I look over my shoulder, I see
her smiling to me. Her smile has the same gentleness as ever. Although her face
has been stained, and her eyes are dim and blank, her quiet smile is still able to
captivate me.
“Please.”

“…I’ll be right back.”

In order to call the ambulance, I hurry to my room and use my cell phone. Then,
I immediately return to where she is.

Tsubaki’s eyes are closed. Perhaps, she’s sleeping due to fatigue. Sheesh…
Tsubaki, she would never fail to sleep whenever she found the time. She never
changed like that. I wondered what nerve she had to be able to sleep even
though she was here to hang out. But, it felt comfortable for me to stay next to
her while she’s sleeping so peacefully.

I liked gazing at her cute, sleeping face. When I placed her head on my lap, she
was really surprised when she woke up, that was really fun. There was also a
time when she wouldn’t wake up no matter what I did, and I thought of kissing
her. Those small, trivial memories are my most precious treasure.

“Tsubaki.”

She doesn’t respond when I call her name, just like always.

I position myself next to her, and I sit down.

“Wake up already. The ambulance is coming soon, you know? Do you intend to
show your dumb, sleeping face to them?”

“……………”

No matter how I strike her with abusive words, she won’t even flinch. This is
also, just like, always.

“Tsubaki.”

A warm gust blows and rustles her hair, but her bangs stick to her forehead. It
seems uncomfortable, so I shove it to the side. I wipe the blood that is sticking to
her face with my handkerchief while I’m at it.

“…Really, you’re… such a, hopeless… girl… hh.”

As I wipe her face, my hand starts to tremble. My strength suddenly leaves me,
and I drop the handkerchief that I was holding. When I’m trying to pick it up
from the ground, beads of water spill from my eyes to the ground.

“…haha, ahahaha.”

Once it starts flowing, I can no longer stop it. They keep welling, before spilling
down my cheek.

When I returned here, I already noticed.

Tsubaki, is no longer breathing.

“…Tsubakiii… hh”

I won’t admit it, I don’t want to admit it.

“AaaaAAaaaaaaAAaaaaAAAah!!!”

I scream. Like I’m trying to let my voice gush forth from my throat.

Why, why, why?! Why does she have to be the one to die?!

I’m the one who… everything is my fault! So why does it have to be her?!!

With all my strength, I hug her body which is still lingering with her warmth.
Her blood sticks all over my clothes, but I couldn’t care less.

“Aaaah, ah, aaaah….!!”

I can’t utter any words. My sight is pitch black.

She won’t be able to call my name anymore.

She won’t smile by my side anymore.

“aaAa… aa… hh!”

I, have lost, my precious one.

I accept the truth and despair. Whilst, my guilt and hatred start to swell.

“…………”

I wonder how long I have been hugging her still body.

I release her from my embrace and gently lay her down on the ground. I hate to
leave her alone in such a place, but there is something that must be done. Until
the ambulance arrives… please wait here in the meantime.

…I hold the scissors in my hand, and I stand up.

There’s nothing that needs deducing. Tsubaki was killed with these sharp
scissors, and its owner lives in this mansion.

I move my powerless legs with my willpower, in order to find that human.

When the servants see me, dyed red with Tsubaki’s blood, their faces turn stiff as
they all draw back from me. Otherwise, they would only block the way, so it
actually saves me the time. It seems that they’re screaming something, but I
ignore them entirely. I don’t have the time to be concerned with them.

Slowly, slowly, I walk towards that human’s room.

It didn’t take long for me to arrive. It has been a long time since I last stood at the
door of this room.

“…You’re here, aren’t you?”

I don’t bother knocking as I throw the door open. Perhaps she was expecting me,
she is reacting to my gaze as I stand at the center of the room.

“Why, did you kill, Tsubaki?”

I ask her as calmly as I can be. Even now, I’m doing my utmost to restrain myself
from stabbing the human in front of me with these scissors.

“…………”
She’s standing motionlessly in front of me, showing nary an expression. I can’t
tell what’s on her mind at all. This is the human that has robbed me of my
beloved person.

“Answer me!!!”

“…I’m, sorry.”

“Do you think… do you think an apology would suffice?! Do you think it would
make her return?!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

An emotionless voice. She keeps apologizing in the same voice over and over
again. I wonder to whom she is directing those apologies.

“You always… steal everything away from me…. Do you… do you hate me so?!
What did I, what did Tsubaki ever do to you?!!”

“…………”

“Say somethiiiiing!!!”

The human standing in front of me is so aggravating, and I throw the scissors I’m
carrying to the floor. Those sharp scissors are the pair that this person would
often use to arrange flowers with.

“………”

No matter what I say to her, her expression remains unchanged. It’s

disconcerting how we resemble each other. We both have scarce facial
expressions, we always keep our thoughts to ourselves and would never tell
others about it, and our faces are similar, too.

…Naturally.

Because I’m bound by blood to the one in front of me——she is my mother.

It’s a matter of course that we resemble each other.

But, that only adds more fuel to my hatred. Because, it’s like I’m looking at my
own self. It’s like I’m reminded that we are of the same kind, and I despise that.

“Why, why Tsubaki… if you hate me, then I’m the one whom you should have
stabbed!!”

“…That’s what I intended to do.”

“…hh?!”

Like she’s tired of it, she starts speaking indifferently. I can’t comprehend the
human in front of me, she’s frightening me.

“But… she was the one who…”

Tsubaki…?

“When blood rushed to my head, when I lost all my restraints, she was the one
who stopped me…”

What is, going on?

“And I… that child……”

For the first time, her expression changes to that of grief. Mother looks at her
own hands, and she slowly covers her face. There is blood sticking to her sleeve,
which I assume is Tsubaki’s.

“Just, what happened between you and Tsubaki!! Why did she have to…!!”

“That’s…”

When Mother is finally going to speak the truth, I can hear the sirens of the
ambulance, as well as a patrol car. I was the one who called the ambulance here,
but it must have been one of the servants who called the police.

“………”
Mother looks outside the window, gazing at the vehicles that have stopped in
front of the mansion.

“…………”

The woman who resembles me slowly closes her eyes, seemingly in thought.
Then, she calmly heads out in silence, in order to turn herself in.

I have been left behind in this room, alone.

My feet grow weak, and I sink to my knees.

What happened? Why did it come to this?

I can’t comprehend the situation, and I have stopped wanting to. My mind is
caught in a mess, and I can’t seem to sort my thoughts. I feel sick and nauseous,
but I endure not to vomit.

Again, my tears start spilling.

Perhaps, it’s ironic that I actually understand one thing.

I won’t be able to meet Tsubaki again.

After that.

Mother had been arrested under suspicions of murder, and Father immediately
abandoned the Kurasaka family entirely. What remained were me, Kurasaka’s
assets, and the child in my womb.

And I… I barely remember anything that happened in a few months after

Tsubaki passed away. It felt hollow, like I was watching a dream. I lost in touch
with reality, it didn’t feel like I was alive at all during that period.

My blood relatives severed their ties with the Kurasaka family, which had
dropped into the bottom of the pit, and I lost all contacts with them. When I had
no one to rely on, Tsubaki’s family took me in.
I wondered what they felt when they did. I wondered why they didn’t forsake
the daughter of the human who had murdered one of their beloved family
members.

It’s because those people are kind.

There’s no doubt that those people didn’t despise me, and that they couldn’t bear
to leave me alone.

For that, I found them pitiful. They would have been better off hating me
instead.

The Sekiguchis should have been grieving for their loss, but they accepted me
with smiles on their faces. There was not even a hint of hatred in their
expressions. I have my utmost gratitude to them.

After a while, with the support of those kind people, I was able to deliver my
child safely. Although I didn’t intend to bear her, Tsubaki had protected her life,
and Tsubaki’s family strongly wished for her to be born, too.

Then, I decided to take Tsubaki’s name as my child’s. Both her parents gladly
gave their consent. Thus, I named my child, so that I would never forget about
her, while hoping that she would grow to be a kind person like she was.

Many things happened afterwards… but I’m still here, alive. I can’t speak well
about the way I have been living, and I have caused much trouble for everyone
around me.

But, Tsubaki, you’re the reason, that I’m still here alive.

——In the end, I couldn’t find the resolve to see Mother. The last time I met and
talked to her face to face was during that chaos. When things finally calmed
down, I thought of learning about what really happened back then. But by that
time, Mother had already passed away.

I don’t know about the details myself, but she had apparently been suffering
from an illness when she quietly breathed her last. When I learned about
Mother’s death, it felt as if I was hearing a stranger’s death report. I didn’t feel
sad at all; nor did I feel any of those emotions. I simply accepted the fact.
…I wonder what happened between Mother and Tsubaki at that time. Why did
everything turn out like the way it did?

I did go to the police to ask about the whole story. But other than admitting that
she had stabbed Tsubaki, it seems that Mother had kept silent. That’s why, no
one knows what really happened on that day. Perhaps, no one will be able to
know anymore.

——Because the people who knew the truth, had left this world for good.
 The Sun Rises

I brush aside the wildly-grown grass and tree branches as I push my way
through the rough animal trail. After she had pulled my hand to take me outside
so many times, I managed to memorize this path to the mansion. It’s difficult to
look around along this path, and it’s been so long since I last used it. I was
worried about possibly getting lost, but it turned out to be a needless worry.

After walking in the forest for a while, I arrive at an opening.

“Unlike how I had assumed, this place didn’t change much.”

It has been 16 years since my last visit. Nobody inhabits this place anymore, so I
imagined the wilderness that would have taken over, as there was no one to
maintain the site. Although apparently, it hasn’t changed that much. This is a
place of memories, where I met her for the first time, and being here truly brings
me back——but at the same time, I feel a sharp pain running through me.

I walk around the garden while gazing at the old mansion in front of me. I
wonder how long it had been since the last time I looked at this mansion up
close. Since I moved to my current house, I rarely passed by this area. Never
would I return to this mansion anymore, I thought, but here I am.

I inadvertently recall the past, which makes me feel sick in my stomach. Even
though I try not to think about it, the despair, hatred, and sadness that I’ve
hidden deep inside my heart are bubbling their way out. I bite my lips to endure
the nausea, and I move my heavy legs forward, one step at a time. Then, I enter
the mansion and head towards the meeting place.
“Hey, you’re early.”

When I open the door, that man is standing in front of me sluggishly. His
slovenly grin is discomforting. I would like to leave this place as soon as possible
and remove this man from my sight.

Wanting to finish the matter quickly, I open my mouth and say:

“I wonder if I failed to tell you not to meet Tsubaki the last time we talked.”
“Haha, you’re so cold. Isn’t it fine? She’s my child.”

“You have the nerve to say that, how impudent. I don’t recognize you as her
father, and you don’t have the right to call yourself that, either.”

“But, my blood still flows within her body.”

“……That’s all it is.”
“Then is it wrong for me to meet my cute child?”
“Stop joking around.”

My voice is shaking due to my anger. Even when I’m staring at him, he doesn’t
seem perturbed in the slightest as he remains smiling with composure.

“……What is your aim?”

“You’re so harsh. It’s like I’ve told you the other day, I want to properly register
our names and get married.”
“Your joke isn’t funny. What you want isn’t me nor Tsubaki, but Kurasaka
family’s fortune, correct?”
“…Aah, come to think of it, you’ve always been the sensible one.”

He contains his smile for just a bit, and he stares at me like he’s trying to sound
me out.

“I investigated right after we met. Which is how I know your motive in

approaching us after all this time.”
“……I see.”

“Business isn’t going well for the company that you’re managing, correct? You
seem to be suffering quite the loss. From what I heard, you’ll get in trouble if you
can’t prepare the down payment by the end of the month.”
“Geez, just how did you manage to investigate all that? Truly terrifying, you’re
really that woman’s child….”
“……hh.”

I bite my lips so strongly that I think they’re going to tear.

“Did I touch a nerve? Well, everything you said is pretty much spot-on.”

Huff, he breathes out as he approaches me.

“I wouldn’t even think of approaching you if I wasn’t troubled with money. I
didn’t want to see that look in your eyes a second time.”
“You reap what you sow. I didn’t want to meet you again myself.”

After I spit out those words, he starts letting out an amused laugh like I just said
something funny. Aah, this man hasn’t changed. He’s been rotten from the inside
out.

“Hahaha, haah… exactly, Hiori.”

“………”

“Let’s make a trade. What I want is this mansion and land that you have
inherited from the Kurasaka family.”

The land around here is strategic, which makes it highly-valued. On top of that,
the land that the Kurasaka family owns is a few times bigger than usual.
Although the mansion has been weathered with age, it should sell for a
considerably good price since it was constructed with fine materials.

However, I have no obligation to hand over these assets to him.

“Pray tell me, why should I be giving these assets to you?”

“It’s for both our sakes. If you hand them over, I won’t appear in front of you
anymore, both of you. I won’t meddle with you anymore, either.”
“…What if I refuse?”
“Then I’ll tell everything to your precious child.”
“…Are you threatening me?”

To tell the truth, I couldn’t care less about my family assets. This mansion, the
land, and all the money that I inherited—I didn’t touch even a penny. I almost
want to give all of the Kurasaka family’s fortunes to him since he wants them,
but… there’s one part of me that refuses to let go of this mansion.

What floats in my mind are the dazzling, gentle memories of when I was playing
with her in the garden. I want to preserve everything that’s connected to her in
this world….

“No matter what you tell me, I have no intention of handing this place over to
you.”

I have the resolve to tell Tsubaki about ‘that matter’. I didn’t want her to know if
I could help it. But on the other hand, it is something that I must inform her of
someday. Besides, even if I give him the assets, there is no guarantee that he
won’t come to me again with the same threat.

“It can’t be helped then. I’ll ‘force’ you to agree.”

“hh?!”
“If you don’t promise to give me the assets…… I’ll do what I did in the past, you
know?”

The moment Kashima stares at me with his narrowed eyes, my body stiffens
with fear.

Noticing my reaction, he makes a lecherous smile. I can’t forget about it even if I

want to; that nightmare springs back into my mind vividly. He’s approaching me
quite slowly, so I intend to run away, but my body is numb from fear. The man
in front of me looks at me like he’s enjoying this situation from the bottom of his
heart.

“It’s not like I want to do this, either, you know?”

He utters words that he doesn’t truly mean. He strongly grabs my shoulder, and
inches his face closer. Dread and revulsion are mixing within me, and I want to
let out a scream.

“If only you would agree, you know—?”

“…ah……”
He’s still peering into my face as he lays his hand on my clothes. But, he stops
short of removing them. I suppose this is his final warning. Even though I don’t
want to lose against this man, my weak self keeps wanting to run away from
him. I feel like giving him everything so that I can escape to a safe place.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Tsubaki.

It seems that I have remained the same even after all this time…

Perhaps he’s getting irritated because I’m not saying anything, he starts moving
his hand again, like he’s resuming what he was——

Smash!

“What?!”

I hear the sound of the window shattering, and I look at what’s occurring behind
Kashima as he turns around. After making a small hole in the window glass with
a stick or some sort, someone is sticking their hand through to unfasten the
window latch. Then, while being careful not to step on the glass shards, that
person skillfully climbs over the window into the mansion.

“Oops, sorry for intruding.”

“You’re…”

“……how?”

The arrival of an unexpected visitor leaves both of us dumbfounded, and a warm

smile, unbefitting of the situation, shows on the face of the young girl. The one
who is standing there is the girl who has moved in next door just the other day.
Surprised by the unexpected occurrence, that man separates from me and faces
the young girl.

“H-hey, you can’t just break into someone else’s mansion like that.”
“I think forcing yourself against an unwilling woman is even worse.”
“Tsk.”

She doesn’t flinch from the man’s thorny words. Far from it, she’s staring at him
with such strength in her eyes.

“Shit, so you’ve prepared a chess piece over there… I thought I had set up the
security and confirmed the surroundings beforehand.

…What’s this man talking about? She’s only a young girl who happens to be my
neighbor. She doesn’t know anything, and she’s not related to us in any way.
And, the one reason that the security didn’t respond is that she set foot in this
mansion from the secret path. I wonder how she knows about the path that only
that person and I know about. And, why is she here right now?

“Hiori.”

The young girl slowly approaches me and checks my appearance.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere? Did he do anything to you?”
“Y-yes, I’m okay.”
“It seems I made it in time.”

After confirming my safety, she removes her grim expression as she smiles
happily. Then, she breathes out a sigh of relief. Her smile appears as if it’s
overlapping with someone that I know well. What am I thinking about? That
person is no longer of this world.
I shake my head to disperse that illusion. More importantly, I want to know why
the girl is here in front of me.

“Say, what are you doing here?”

To my question, she holds her tongue. She only makes a troubled smile without
saying anything. After she puts my hair and clothes back in order, she makes a
satisfied look.

——When I really think it over, it’s a mystery.

It’s weighing on my mind how she behaves as if she knows everything. Without
this girl, my relationship with Tsubaki would have most likely deteriorated.
Perhaps I would’ve ended up agreeing to this man’s words, too. It would be
understandable if she knew about our circumstances. But, she has moved to this
town just recently, and there shouldn’t be enough time for us to get to know each
other yet. Despite all that, the way she speaks is like she even knows about the
things unknown to those who are close to me.

Just… who on earth is the young girl with kind eyes in front of me?

“I’m having an important discussion with her right now, so… little girls should
go home. You’re bothering us.”
“But that’s the reason I’m here, Kashima Masayuki-san, to bother you.”

She puts on a firm expression as she turns to face that man.

“…You were there at the cemetery, too. Sheesh, just how many times do you
want to interfere before you’re satisfied?”
“If you’re going to ruin Hiori’s happiness, then I’ll do it as many times as I
need.”

She and that man… Kashima, glare at each other. Betraying his composure,
Kashima now shows a stern expression. However, that girl stands imposingly
against him.
“Just how much do you know?! Do you also know the fact that she’s the
daughter of a murderer?!”
“hh?!”

Kashima speaks of an ounce of truth about our past that I never even told
Tsubaki, to a young girl that’s unrelated to us whatsoever. Now that she has
ended up hearing about the truth that I want to keep hidden, all my strength
leaves my body.

“………”

The girl doesn’t look disturbed, nor does she avert her eyes from Kashima. She
only keeps silent.

I wonder what is running through her mind right now. What does she think of
me, who is the daughter of a murderer, as well as Tsubaki? There is no doubt
that she feels repugnant towards us, who have the blood of a murderer running
through our veins. She will then keep her distance from us.

Tsubaki is quite attached to her even though they’ve met just recently. I’m sure
she will be terribly saddened when that happens. When I imagine the sad look
on my daughter’s face, I feel a pain in my chest.

“Well, I do know that you’re a disgusting fool.”

“……aah?”
“No!! Run!”

Kashima approaches the girl while seething with anger. Then he grabs her collar
and pulls her towards him. I want to rescue her, but my body is paralyzed from
fear. She’s going to get hurt at this rate!! What happened in the past is going to
befall her——

“……hh!”

The girl calmly grabs both his arms, and suddenly she sweeps him underfoot.
And so the young girl smoothly pushes a man bigger than herself down to the
floor.

Thud, a loud voice resounds, and dust flutters about.

“Guhh…?!”

She lets go of his arm, and looks down at him. Perhaps his back hurts from the
impact, since he only curls on the floor while touching his back.

“I don’t hold the title ‘anymore’. But in the past, I had a black belt in judo, just so
you know.”

Pat pat, she brushes the dust off her clothes, and sneers at Kashima as she looks
down on him.

“Kh… bastard… do you think, you can get away with this? …I’m gonna expose
this woman’s secret for everyone to know…!!”
“…………”
“I’ll follow you anywhere you go, Hiori, and that child, too!! I’m gonna make
you hide from the sunlight like the criminal’s daughter you are!!”

“You’re really the worst.”

“Whaat?!”

“That’s when we’re going to sue you. Article 222, a person who intimidates
another through a threat to another’s life, body, freedom, reputation or property
shall be punished by imprisonment for not more than 2 years or a fine of not
more than 300,000 yen.”

The way she states the criminal law is fluent, which is unthinkable for a girl as
young as her.

“Haah?! D-do you think that the police will act just from that?!”

He supports his upper body with his arm and sends a weak glare against the girl
from below.

“In that case, I’ll consult with my Mom.”

“Huh?”

Kashima looks at her, dumbfounded, while the girl keeps her calm as she stares
at him.
“My mother is an attorney. If you do anything to Hiori or Tsubaki, I’m going to
use this as evidence to take you to the court.”

She produces a cell phone. When she presses a button, a recording of my voice,
as well as Kashima’s and hers, starts playing. It seems to have impeccably
captured our conversation earlier. This recording will be advantageous for us as
evidence.

“Ugh, d-damn it… Damn it aaaallll!”

“Never show up in front of Hiori and Tsubaki, ever again.”
“Fuck you!! You think that will make me give up?!”

Mortified, Kashima stands up staggeringly, seemingly still in pain. Then, he

confronts the young girl again. Both of them glare each other in silence for a
while, as a tense, oppressive air fills the room.

“Are you going to assault me, like you once did to Hiori?”
“……That would depend on your actions.”

She isn’t frightened by Kashima’s intimidation. Instead, she glares at him

without even trying to hide her irritation.

“I won’t forgive you for my whole life. I’ll never forgive you for hurting Hiori.”
“You can hate me all you want. It’s not like what you think of me matters
anyway.”

The young girl’s expression is filled with anger. However, it is now tinged with
sadness.

“……Even though Hiori’s mom had truly loved you.”

Eh?

“hh!”

I have never seen Kashima open his eyes so wide before. Although, I find that
my jaws are opening wide myself. Who did she just say loved whom?

“H-how… how did you know… about that…? The only ones who knew were
that woman and that girl….”

“And yet, you pushed all your responsibilities to Hiori…… and you ran away,
by yourself.”

“What the hell, you…… what the hell!!!!”

Kashima grows exasperated as he pushes her to the wall and pins down her
shoulder forcefully.

“……hh!”

Anguish shows on the girl’s countenance. Her pained expression sprouts a

disgusting smile on the man’s face as he gazes at her.

“Stop it!!”

I can’t move. I want to help her, but why is my body still frozen with fear?!

“…hh, why…!”
“…Khukhu, just stay there and watch.”
“……hh.”
He sends me a glance while he’s still pushing her against the wall. Just one sharp
glare is enough for him to reduce me to this pathetic state.

“So, where did you hear that from? I thought they were the only ones who knew
about it.”
“………”
“Answer me.”
“………”
“Do you need to see some pain, before you can understand?”

He lifts her chin and brings his face closer. However, the girl only stares back at
the man’s eyes without saying anything. Her pupils exhibit no weakness, rather,
there is a strong will dwelling within them. Does she not feel fear from being
glared by an adult man?

“I didn’t hear anything from anyone.”

“Haah? What, are you saying that you were there and saw everything yourself?”
“…What if, I say yes?”
“Ha, hahahahahahahaha! What are you saying! Are you insane, eeh?!”

She shouldn’t have been born yet back then. Naturally, it is impossible for her to
have been there. Knowing that, Kashima goes into a laughing spree.

“Tell me. Who told you about what happened back then?”

“Sekiguchi… Tsubaki.”

“?!”

Hearing that person’s name out of nowhere makes my heart thump loudly.

“…That’s not possible, either. That girl died back then, and there’s no way you
could have met her.”
“So, you know about her name.”
“I investigated about that child just to confirm that things wouldn’t get awry
somewhere along the line.”
Wait a second. Why does Kashima know about Tsubaki? I did talk to Tsubaki
about him, but they should have never met each other before. Or, did she meet
him without me being aware of it?

“A young girl saw you and Hiori’s mother having a rendezvous by accident in a
certain garden, the blind spot in this mansion. That girl was Sekiguchi Tsubaki…
right?”

“…………”

“At that time, you two were in a fight. Hiori’s mother knew about Hiori’s
pregnancy, as well as the one who had conceived her. That was why she was
questioning you.”

“What are you…”

“Kashima Masayuki-san, you had an affair with Hiori’s mother.”
“hh?!”

Kashima’s face turns pale before my eyes, and his breathing becomes ragged. He
can’t hide his agitation.

So, Mother had associated with this man. I was totally unaware of that. I believe
even Father and the servants don’t know about it.

As if she was there to witness it in person, the young girl recites the truth
unknown to me.

“When Hiori’s mom pressed you for an answer, you answered, ‘It wasn’t my
fault, your daughter was the one who tempted me,’ making it as though all the
fault lies with Hiori.”

“…………”
“You pushed your own action to someone else, and you succeeded in turning her
mother’s hatred to Hiori instead.”
“…H-how… did you…”
“While grasping a pair of scissors with a blank expression on her face, she went
to her daughter. Yet, you ran away from her!!”
“T-that’s not my fault!!”

Kashima shouts frantically. His eyes are bloodshot, and his mouth is visibly
distorted.

“I was only acting kind so I could get ahold of all of Kurasaka’s assets. But, that
woman, she didn’t even realize that I was using her. She actually loved me for
real… haha, what a joke!!”

“……”
“She’s the one who fell for me! I didn’t do anything! I’m not in the wrong!”
“……”
“It’s that woman’s fault that the Kurasakas fell to ruin, and my plan along with
it. Yeah, yeah! I’m the victim here!”

The madman spouts one excuse after another.

Aah.

She wasn’t loved by her husband. She wasn’t loved by her daughter. And, she
wasn’t even loved by this scum of a man. Just how deep was her loneliness, as
she lived on? Just how cold did she freeze her own heart? I can’t even begin to
imagine.

Just how clumsy we are with people…

Both Mother, and me, too.

“…Stop joking around.”

A blazing emotion wells forth within me. Although… I can’t tell if what I’m
feeling is anger, sorrow, or regret. I’m now able to move my body again, as if I
have been released from my shackles. I start moving my feeble legs to slowly
approach Kashima. I glare at the man in front of me without averting my eyes.

All my fears have left my body.

“Mother, and I….. aren’t your playthings!!”

“Eep?!”

I pull Kashima away from her, and I use both my hands to squeeze his neck.
When I put more strength into my fingers, I can feel his throat vibrating, and a
strained voice leaks out from his mouth.
“Guuh…?!”
“Hiori!!”
“…It’s alright. This man isn’t even worthy to be killed.”

Although truthfully… I thought of letting my emotion run amok and strangling

this man. That’s just how much I detest him.

(But, I’m not alone.)

I have someone that I must protect, my irreplaceable treasure. That’s why, I have
no intention of sacrificing my life for someone like him.

“Geh… cough!!”

When I release Kashima, he takes his distance from us in fright to the corner of
the room. His vigor is nowhere to be seen, and I can see his body trembling
repeatedly over a short interval.

“Hahaha, s-so in the end, you’re still that woman’s daughter! Were you trying to
kill me?!”
“……I suppose you’re right. I’m the daughter of that person. That fact won’t
change forevermore.”

I have no memories of being loved by Mother. I have no memories of loving her.

I suppose Mother had no memories of ever being loved by me. I suppose Mother
had no memories of ever loving me.

But, is that really true?

“……”

No one can tell anymore. After all, even if I want to ask, that person is no longer
of this world.
I have been thinking that my parents don’t love me. I have decided so. However,
what if——there had actually been a time when they showed their love to me?
——the thought comes to me now of all times. Too many bitter, unpleasant
things occurred, but what if I’ve forgotten that such a time actually exists?

Of all times… yes, it’s far too late for me to start having such thoughts. It doesn’t
change the fact that I still detest that person, and that I will never forgive what
she did. However, just a little, it’s just a little feeling within me, that I want to
believe in my mother.

“I… will tread a different path from Mother. Although, I did end up following
the same path as her partway through.”

This is where we part ways. I must make the first step in the path that I ought to
tread, in order to reach the best future. And, it’s time for me to sort and leave the
things that I don’t need and move on.

“Kashima, I will give this mansion to you… I no longer need it, so you can do
whatever you want with it.”

After all, even without this mansion, my memories will remain within my chest.
Today is the day I stop sacrificing my future to protect my past.

“I will appoint a representative for the formal procedures, so don’t ever show
your face to us again.”
“…………”
“If you do… perhaps I won’t be able to restrain myself anymore.”

When I clench my hands tightly, Kashima stiffens up and goes into a fluster.

“…hh!! F-fine! I wouldn’t want to get involved with you if I had the money
anyway…!”
“Shut… your mouth, and go away already.”

Kashima cautiously backs off until he reaches the door, before hurrying to leave.
I pity myself for being scared of such a miserable man all this time.
(…It’s over.)

I’ve finally resolved the bothersome things, so I heave a long sigh to let the
tension out of my shoulders.

The sense of liberation runs through my whole body, and it feels comfortable. It
seems that my mood has become considerably lighter. Aah, from now on, I can
live together with that child without having to worry about anything. I feel
happiness gradually welling forth from that line of thought, and I let myself be
immersed in that sensation.

“Good job.”

Despite what happened to her earlier, the young girl looks as though it was
nothing as she draws near. Even though she’s still a child, she holds considerable
courage.

“You did your best out there.”

Those words greatly stir my heart.

The way she speaks those gentle words is like she’s sympathizing with my past.
The burdens that I’ve been carrying, my sorrow, my loneliness, my regrets—it’s
as if she knows everything that I’ve been holding. It’s as if she’s been watching
over [all of me].

“Why… why are you here?”

“I was just passing through.”
“There’s no way that’s true.”
“A-ahaha, I guess you won’t fall for that, will you?”
She knows. The girl in front of me knows about many things that even I, the one
concerned, am not aware of. That’s why, I want to know.

Who… is she?

“…Well, I do have a reason to come here.”

So she says as she produces an item from her pocket and presents it to me.

“This is…”
“Tsubaki asked me to bring this [charm] to you, saying that she had a bad
feeling.”

What she presents to me, what I’m holding in my hand now, is a precious item
that I received from the Sekiguchis. I have always been carrying that person’s cell
phone close to me wherever I go, keeping it as my charm.

“I see… Thank you for going out of your way to deliver it. However, that was
the reason why you were looking for me. It still doesn’t answer why you are
here.”

It’s possible that my daughter informed her about this mansion. However, this
place isn’t easily accessible anymore, and it’s exceedingly difficult to locate the
hidden path to this mansion. This young girl knows about the things that only
[Sekiguchi Tsubaki] would know about.

“You’re right…. Well, since Hiori has already broken free of her past with her
own strength… it’s all okay now, right…?”
“……”

“Ah.”
The girl seems to have discovered something in the room. She suddenly takes
something from the top of the shelf. It seems to be covered with dust, since she
brushes it off several times before showing it to me.

“A Rubik’s cube…”

“Let’s make a bet.”

“A bet?”

She smiles as though she’s having fun. Unlike the mature self that she showed
earlier, she’s now showing a cherubic smile befitting of her age.

“Let’s compete at who can solve the cube faster. The one who can arrange the
colors faster wins.”
“…What do we bet?”

“If Hiori wins, I will tell you everything you want to know.”
“……”
“How about it?”
“…Alright.”
“I’ll go first. Umm, go ahead and jumble it up.”

I rotate the cube that I receive from her, so much that it might have turned into
the most jumbled arrangement ever. I hand it over to her, and it takes her but a
few seconds to look as if she has figured it out.

“Then, I’ll use the cell phone that you brought earlier to time it.”
“Sure.”
“Ready, go!”

She quickly rotates the cube around, and the jumbled colors are gradually put in
order. It looks as if she’s only rotating it randomly, but I can tell that she’s
considering where and how to arrange the colors together. The clattering sounds
of the cube resound in this otherwise quiet room.

“Okay, it’s done.”

After a short time, she gives me the solved cube. Its surfaces are uniform with
one color each.
…She’s fast. The displayed time is slightly faster than my best record in the past.

“I’ve been practicing like forever, in the past, and in the present, too…. Because it
was vexing for me.”
“…………”
“So, it’s Hiori’s turn now.”

“Yes.”

I pass the cube to her, and she jumbles it up. It’s been such a long time since I last
played with it; I suppose that time was my last. As I gaze at the girl who’s
jumbling the cube around like her life depends on it, I recall those days. The sight
of her desperately trying to surpass my record resurfaces in my mind.

“Here you go.”

I receive the now jumbled cube. After looking at the surfaces for a bit, I signal her
to start.

“Ready, go!”

My fingers start moving the cube around as soon as I hear her shout. This really
brings me back. I would calmly stare at the cube surfaces, working out the
solution in my head as I rotate it around quickly. I was good at playing this in
the past, but I can’t seem to move as well since it’s been such a long time.
However… it will be quite all right.

“I did it.”

When I let her see the solved cube, she squints her eyes a little and smiles a bit.

“I can’t really compete against you, even after practicing so much. This is unfair.”
“Even if you tell me that.”
It seems that I managed to solve it faster than her. Although, she doesn’t seem
disappointed at all. She looks as if she has expected this outcome right from the
start. And for some reason, our exchange just now feels so nostalgic. It feels as if
I’ve done the same exchange in the past.

“You’ll have to answer me, then. Why did you come to this mansion? And, how
do you know about all those things?”

I suppress my throbbing heart, as I demand the wager that I’ve won from her.

“Yup. We’re ending the ‘punishment game’ now.”

“………eh?”

She gently places the Rubik’s cube on the shelf, before returning to stand in front
of me. After locking our eyes for a while, she finally begins to speak.

“My name is Hayase Hinata, and I’m the reincarnation of Sekiguchi Tsubaki,
who died 16 years ago.”
“Rein…carnation…?”

“Yup.”

With a serious expression, she says something that’s closer to a joke.

“That’s why I know how to reach this mansion, about the things between Hiori’s
mother and Kashima, which you aren’t aware of, and that incident, too.”

Impossible.

There’s just no way it could be true.

“D-don’t joke around with me…”

“Aa~ah, I knew you wouldn’t believe me.”

She shows a somewhat sorrowful smile. But even so, she doesn’t retract her own
words. She won’t tell me that she was joking.

“It’s okay if you don’t believe me. But that’s the truth, so there’s just no other
way for me to answer your question, Hiori.”
I don’t believe in unscientific things. That’s why I know that that person is no
longer in this world—that I won’t be able to meet her anymore. How can I
believe that the young girl standing in front of me is Tsubaki’s reincarnation?

But in that case, why does this child remind me of her? I wonder why looking at
her feels so nostalgic. Is it just a coincidence that their trivial gestures, as well as
the way they speak, are identical to each other? Just how is she able to know
about the things that would be known only to Sekiguchi Tsubaki? If I were to
believe her words, then everything would fit in place. But, my heart simply can’t
accept that.

“…hh.”

I have always been wishing for this to happen. Be it as a spirit, in a dream, a

phantom, even an illusion… I want to meet her. I know full well that I don’t have
the right to, but even so, I still want to meet her. I want to hear her bright voice, I
want to see her troubled face, I want her to show me her smile, which was as
warm as the sunshine.

“Hiori.”

Perhaps I have already noticed. Perhaps I have already known the what-ifs
somewhere along the line.

However, I don’t have the right to meet her, and that’s why I’ve been pretending
not to notice.

When I think about it now, that’s the conclusion that I arrive at.
“It’s already okay.”

At this moment, my tears start to flow.

I break down, in more meanings than one. Like a child, my tears trickle along my
cheeks in large drops, before falling to the ground.

“……ah”

Blazing emotions rise from within my heart. They comprise of my guilt, my

loneliness, my nostalgia, my love, among many others. The feelings that I have
stashed away since forever ago have started spilling, and I can’t stop it.

“Tsuba…ki?”

There is a girl in front of me, who is smiling at me. Her face is entirely different
from the childhood friend from my memories, her stature and voice don’t
resemble that person’s, either. But…

Even though I can’t believe it myself….

I’m having goosebumps.

“Is it really you… Tsubaki?”

With tears blurring my vision, I can’t see her face that well. However, I’m sure
that she’s showing a troubled face right now. That’s what my hunch tells me.

“I’m sorry that I’m late.”

I wanted to meet you.

You know, I really wanted to meet you.

I’ve been wanting to meet you forever.

I wanted you to live.

I wanted you to stay next to me.

I’m sorry for harboring such selfish thoughts. For several years, I have been able
to conceal it inside me, but these thoughts just won’t disappear. My feelings
towards you will never disappear.

Then, is it alright for me, to vent it already? Is it really, alright?

After pondering various things, and with my mind turning into mush… I no
longer understand what is it that I should do, except that———

I’m already at my limit.

“Tsubaki!!!”

“Hiori.”

I embrace her with all my strength, and she hugs me back. The warmth, the
gentleness, those sensations loosen my tear glands again, spilling my tears. The
warmth nestling in my arms is… really, really endearing.

“Huh? Hiori, I thought you weren’t the type to believe in unrealistic things.”
The way she pokes fun at me is really Tsubaki-like. Everything feels so nostalgic,
so endearing, and I can feel the gaping hole in my heart starting to fill. I still find
it difficult to believe that she is Tsubaki, but rather than using my logic, I
recognize her with my feelings instead.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Tsubaki…… I’ve been wanting to meet you.”

“I should be sorry, too. I’m not able to stay by your side for such a long time.”

“hh!”

Those words make me overcome with emotion, and I burst into tears, as if I’m
screaming.

Tsubaki gently strokes my back, as if she’s trying to soothe a child. The sight of
me hugging a child while crying so loudly must look comical. However, that is
but a trivial matter.
Yes.

It’s nothing but a trivial matter compared to the miracle that has occurred in
front of me.
 Reminiscence —Her Last Wish—

I’m meeting Hiori today like usual. So, I’m treading through the forest behind
the mansion to reach our designated garden. Since I’m the only person here, the
place is quiet. She would usually arrive earlier than me. Although, there are
many times when she’s not feeling well, so I end up coming earlier more often
now. Thinking to wait for her, I take a seat on the root of a big tree.

It would be bad for her and her baby if she gets too tired. Although, when I
suggested for us to meet up less often, she shook her head in refusal. According
to her, while excessive exercises are harmful, failing to exercise is also bad for her
body. I don’t have much knowledge about that, and thinking that I might need to
learn ahead, I went to the bookstore to browse a few pregnancy books. Although,
an acquaintance spotted me, and she had a strange misunderstanding. It was a
disaster.

“Phew…”

I expel a sigh, and I look up to the sky. A warm, gentle breeze brushes against
my cheek.

“……”

I think back to the time when she told me about the matter that had been ailing
her. Just the other day, with a frightened look on her face, she confessed to me
about what she had been hiding. At that time, I was aghast, my head went blank,
and my mind stopped running for a while. But when I finally managed to
comprehend her words, grief, anger, and self-loathing spring forth within me.

That was the first time I ever hated someone so much. I was surprised that there
existed a dark and violent emotion, swirling inside me. There was a man who
had driven Hiori to a corner, bringing her unhappiness, and I despised myself
for not being able to do anything for her, for not even realizing it. I felt sick from
the emotions that are stuffing my chest. But, I realized that she was the one who
had it the worst, so I desperately endured it in.

After hearing everything from her, I thought of confronting the man in question
directly, but she stopped me. It seemed that she didn’t want me to meet him at
all. With blood gathering in my head, I was going to shake her off. However, the
sight of Hiori desperately trying to restrain me makes me abandon that thought,
reluctantly.

‘I beg you. Don’t tell a soul about this. Don’t do anything, either.’

When she pleaded me so vehemently, I couldn’t say anything back. I had no idea
what else I could do to my swirling emotions, I didn’t know how to save the girl
in front of me, I knew nothing at all. In the end, I could only hug Hiori in silence.

——I was vexed. I was so vexed, so sad, so anxious. It felt truly, truly bitter, and I
believed nothing else could be worse than that. But surely, the girl in my arms
was the one who took the brunt of it all; that thought rent me apart. Why did she
have to suffer like that? What wrong did she ever do?

…It seems that her parents don’t know about it, which means that the only ones
who know are Hiori, the man called Kashima, and me. I told her that she should
inform her parents at least, but she refused. Although I had known that she was
on bad terms with her parents, I didn’t realize that the ravine between them was
so deep. I don’t know anything about her…… The realization hits me hard,
whether I like it or not.

And, what do we do with her pregnancy? Hiori’s told me that she didn’t want to
give birth to her baby, which I think is actually the best choice. Hiori can’t be
called an adult yet; she’s still a child. And most importantly, she didn’t conceive
the baby with someone she loves… she did not get pregnant because of her own
choice.

But, her baby is innocent. Even though the blood of that detestable person flows
within its body, that has nothing to do with anything. That’s why, even though
I’m going out of line, I want her to bear her child. I understand that I’m just
being selfish. Giving birth to a child, and raising them—I can’t even imagine how
arduous they are. I know, it’s because I never had to raise a child that I can be so
naive.

Regardless, she is the one who gets to decide. That’s why, I will not object to her
decision. No matter what she chooses in the end, I’m going to support her.

“Hiori… she’s late—”

I’m not used to be one waiting. I feel like checking the time, and I search for my
cell phone in my pocket. But, I start getting flustered as I can’t seem to find it
anywhere.

“…Oh crap, I didn’t bring my phone.”

I recall leaving it in my room earlier. It’s way too late for me to realize it now,
which makes me heave a sigh. Well, it’s not like I often have an urgent business,
not having a cell phone with me for a day or two is not really that big of a deal.
That crosses out the option of me going back home just to get my cell phone.
Besides, I think Hiori is coming soon. I’ll just wait here patiently.

Hmm— but on the other hand…

“Hrm, I’m getting sleepy…”

Being in an area where I can feel the warm, pleasant sunshine for a while assails
me with drowsiness. I can hear birds chirping, and tree leaves rustling—the
perfect lullaby, tempting me to sleep. Aah, I’m at my limit. But, she will scold me
if I fall asleep here. I desperately keep my heavy eyelids open, and I rouse my
mind to remain awake.

‘…hh! …!’

(A voice?!)
My slipping consciousness returns at once when I hear someone speaking. At
first, I thought that Hiori has come, but I can’t see anyone nearby. It makes me
wonder where the voice is coming from. I think I’d never heard any sounds
coming from the mansion before, which means that there is someone in the
garden. If I’m spotted loitering here, both Hiori and I will get into a trouble.
Anyway, I make haste to the thickets, and I squat down to hide myself from
view. Then, I look around to see if there is anyone around while keeping myself
hidden.

(! Someone is close by…)

I spot people from the other side of the mansion. It seems that there are two
people quarreling about something. Although, the distance makes it difficult for
me to tell who they are, and I can’t hear the content of their conversation, either.
Even though it’s rude to eavesdrop, I’m worried about the grim mood that
they’re exuding. In the end, I approach them stealthily while pricking up my
ears. I take a peek from under the cover of the grasses and trees, and I can see a
woman who looks very similar to Hiori who is in a quarrel with a somewhat
eloquent, young man.

“Like I said, it’s a misunderstanding!”

“What misunderstanding is there? You confirmed it yourself. You were with my
daughter!”
“B-but, that’s…”

The woman fiercely intimidates the man, who looks in dismay. It’s like I’m
looking at the scene of carnage that often appears in TV dramas, although in
flesh. I’m listening to their squabble like it’s someone else’s problem, but her next
words blow all of my composure away.

“Why did you lay your hands on my daughter… on Hiori?!”

Daughter…?!
I hurriedly close my mouth when I almost let out a shout in surprise. Although,
it seems that they didn’t hear me since they continue bickering at each other. I
pat my chest in relief. Still, I didn’t know that woman is Hiori’s mother…… no
wonder they look alike so much.

“You told me that you loved me. Were those all lies?!”
“N-no! I wasn’t lying! Believe me.”
“Then why did you impregnate that child?!”

(She knows that Hiori is pregnant?!)

I’m surprised. I thought she didn’t know about it. But, regardless of how distant
they are to each other, they’re living in the same mansion anyway. She would
have noticed it in due time. Then, I send a glare to the man who is being
cornered by Hiori’s mother. So… he’s the one who hurt Hiori, Kashima
Masayuki.

(Calm down… me…)

I hold down the urge to jump out and punch him in the face. I’m clenching both
my fists so hard that it might bleed, but I release them and touch the ground
instead. The only thing that I would achieve with that is my own gratification
——in contrast, her situation will worsen further. My hatred is brimming over,
so I clench my teeth in order to endure it.

“It’s her… your daughter was the one who seduced me! I was driven to the
corner, and I couldn’t refuse… t-that’s how it came to be! It’s the truth!! …You’re
the one I love…!”

“………”

Just, what did that man say just now?

After what he did to Hiori, he’s still spouting this nonsense, shifting all his guilt
to her? Just how rotten is that man? Just how much should I hate him?

“………hh!!”

Stop joking around. Stop joking around!

With my hands, I pin down my legs that are trying to move. I close my lips
before I can scream. I think that I’m close to crossing my limit. The next word
that leaves that man’s mouth might be when I intervene between the two and let
my anger run amok.

“I see… that child… I see, so that’s how it is…”

She starts muttering in an almost inaudible voice. She wears a blank expression,
and light has disappeared from her pupils.

“H-hey…”

Noticing her strange behavior, the man draws back and takes some distance.
Hiori’s mother totters with unsteady legs. I thought that she is trying to go
somewhere, but she is actually retrieving an item that has been placed nearby.
What she now holds in her hand is something that is very similar to a knife—a
sharp pair of scissors that is used for flower arrangement.

“Does she want to torment me…? Fufu… fu… fufufu…”

Although there is a smile on her lips, her face betrays that very expression. She is
so terrifying that I feel a shiver down my spine. I never knew that a smile can be
so frightening.

“W-what… are you… doing with those…?”

“………”

The woman doesn’t answer him. But, I have a really bad premonition. All this
time, she is looking towards where Hiori’s room is. Thump, thump, my heartbeat
resounds as I hear warnings in my head, telling me that things aren’t good, and
that I can’t let it go as is.
Staggeringly, she starts walking towards where Hiori is, with her eyes and
mouth crooked, with a pair of scissors in her hand. It’s easy for me to imagine
what is going to happen. When I do, I win out of my fear, and I rush out of the
grasses.

“W-who are you?! Where did you…”

The man reveals his eyes wide open, startled by my appearance. He looks
frightened, and he lets out a yelp, which is so pathetic to be coming from a
grown man. So, this is the man who hurt Hiori? Yeah, it’s all because of him that
she…… no, this is not the time for that. What I need to do right now is not to
condemn him, but to stop her mother.

I spread my arms before the woman, showing that I won’t let her advance any
further.

“W-wait! Hiori didn’t do anything! It’s your misunderstanding!”

“You…! W-what are you blabbing about…?!”

When I raise my voice, Hiori’s mother twitches, as she raises her head a bit.

“…I believe… you are the child who always comes to meet Hiori.”
“So… you know about it…”
“……”

It seems that she has known about my sneak visits all along. Although, it makes
me wonder why she never comes out against it. I can’t tell if it is out of her
parental affection, or perhaps she is only being apathetic about her.

“Why is it always that child…? Why is she loved so much…?”

“Eh?”

She smiles in self-derision. Her previously blank pupils are now filled, with
madness. However, she’s not directing them to me, but to the man behind her.

“Even though I love you so… why won’t you love me back?!”
“Eek! W-what the hell is wrong with this woman! You’ve gone… mad!”
“You told me… you told me that you loved me, didn’t you?!”
“…Oh shit! Don’t get near me!”

There’s not even a hint of kindness in the man’s voice, only words of rejection.
He’s more than prepared to flee out of fear. When the woman looks at the state
he is in, she shows a weak smile, before staring off into the distance.

“I see. In the end, no one loves me… no one would…”

Grasping the scissors tightly in her hand, she firmly walks away from the main
building. There’s no doubt that she’s heading to her own daughter’s room.

“…I told you, it’s a misunderstanding! Hiori really did nothing! Please calm
down and listen!!”
“Don’t get in my way.”
“?!”

She thrusts the scissors towards me, threatening me to get out of her way. In the
face of a life-threatening situation, my body is petrified, refusing to move. In my
paralyzed state, she walks pass me from the side. One step, and another; she is
approaching the target of her hatred ever so slowly, but surely. I think of solving
her misunderstanding. However, all my shout falls on deaf ears, and they don’t
even serve to impede her movement. Her mind must be occupied with nothing
but her hatred towards Hiori.

What should I do? What can I do to stop her?

Nothing comes to mind no matter how I try to think with my confused mind. On
the other hand, she’s gradually approaching Hiori while I’m thinking. I need to
hurry and stop her, before I lose her.

Before I lose my irreplaceable, precious one.

“hh!!”

My body moves again… but not because I have thought up of something.

Instead, my body moves on its own because I must stop her. I cling to her from
behind to restrain her from going any further.
“I told you, not to get in my way!!”
“Gh?!”

When she shakes me off forcefully, I feel as though my whole body is being
blown away, as [something] is thrust into my abdomen. Stab, I can feel the
sensation of a foreign item infiltrating my body.
“——ah…”

All of a sudden, intense pain assails me. I timidly look at my abdomen, at the
scissors thrust into it. Blood slowly seeps into my clothes, dyeing them red.

“…eh… ah…?”

Noticing what she has done, she hurriedly pulls the scissors out.

“————hh!!!!”

The shock that I receive from having the sharp tool extracted from my body
makes me let out a soundless scream. I feel burning pain and heat in my
stomach. It’s the most painful experience that I’ve ever had. The pang almost
makes me faint, but I use all my spirits to hold on.

“…ah… gh… aaah…”

It hurts so much that I want to writhe around. Cold sweats are rolling down my
cheek, and I can feel my body temperature dropping little by little.

“hah… huff…!”

I cover the bleeding part of my stomach with my hand. I almost fall to my knees,
but I keep my strength to remain standing.

No… I can’t… pass out here.

If I fall asleep now, what is gonna happen to Hiori? My abdomen hurts, so much,
so much that I can’t bear it. But strangely, the one I’m concerned about is Hiori,
not myself.

“I… what did I just… why did I…”

Her expression that was full of hatred has changed into that of bewilderment and
shock.

“Fuck… y-you… murderer! U-uwaaaaah…!!”

The man who has simply watched the entire course of events utters horrible jeers
to her, and runs off unsightly. This is the extent of the person who spouted love
to that woman. How awful and cruel it is. Hiori’s mother only looks at the
retreating figure of that joke of a man in a daze. The red scissors slip off from her
limp fingers to the ground.

“You’re… you’re wrong… Hiori isn’t… at… fault… She was assaulted… the
victim…”
“………”

She looks at me with blank amazement. It seems that she’s finally willing to
listen.

“You’re… his victim, too……”

“……hh”

I couldn’t feel any love whatsoever from his attitude. The only sentiments he
gives are sadness, despair, hatred, anything but love. But, even so, perhaps
Hiori’s mother did receive the phantoms of love from that man. Even though it
was a farce, she still spent those times in happiness.

“You’ve been… deceived… by his lies…”

“You’re wrong… it’s because of that child… she snatched him away from me.”
“…Hiori didn’t do anything… like that.”
“That child detests me… There’s no limit to what she can do…”
“It’s true that Hiori hates you… both her parents. But, still, she definitely won’t
snatch… anything, anyone important to someone else.”

Hiori is a taciturn girl who always says cold things, but on the other hand, she’s a
really kind girl. No matter how much she hates someone, she won’t do anything
that would hurt them. But due to her clumsiness, she holds it within, taking
everything upon herself. All this time, she keeps it to herself, suffering all alone.
The only person that she’s hurt is nobody but herself.

“Please, believe in her.”

It’s becoming harder for me to speak, so I take a deep breath. I feel the strength
leaving my body in every word I speak. But, I won’t stop.

“You’re her mother. If you won’t believe in her, then who would? If you don’t
love her, then who would?”

I don’t know what I’m saying to her myself, but I try to convey everything that I
want to say, as though I’m screaming inside.

“Don’t run away, from your own child. Even if she rejects you, please face her
straight on. Keep conveying it to her, until it properly gets conveyed.”
“………”

I know nothing about the relationship between Hiori and her parents. Actually,
who am I to say in this respect?

“I beg you, don’t point your hatred… to your own daughter…”

But, I can’t remain silent about it. I’ve got to tell her. This pair of awkward
mother and daughter has been bound by various shackles, and they couldn’t
build a proper bond between them.

“Please, protect Hiori… I beg you…”

…because I might not be able to protect her anymore.

But, I don’t say that part aloud. I wonder if I’m still sane for asking this kind of
request towards the person who just stabbed me. On the other hand, she is
looking at me with her narrowed eyes, showing an indescribable expression. She
no longer looks terrifying, but the expression she’s making now makes me
worried instead.

“It’s already too late… for anything to be done.”

“Of… course not…”

I pick up the bloodstained scissors lying on the ground next to me, and I hold
tight the sharp tool that had pierced me.

“Ah… haha… I’m so clumsy… I fell down over nothing… and I ended up
getting stabbed in the stomach by accident. Aah— it’s so… stupid of me…”
“…What are you talking about? I was the one——”
“You’re mistaken. It’s not… your fault. It was an… accident. Please know that…
I was the one who… got myself stabbed.”
“There is no mistake! I stabbed you, with the intent to murder you! Because you
were getting in my way!! And, I’m intending to kill my daughter, too……”
“Yup. I’m the one who got in your way… right? If only… I could resolve the…
misunderstanding… better…”
“No, no!! Everything… is my fault!!”

She intends to snatch the scissors from me, but I seize her hands. Although there
is barely any power in my hands, she doesn’t seem to be trying to get away. With
my trembling, powerless hand, I hold her hands with all my might, believing
that my wish will get conveyed to her.

“It must… have been lonely for you… all… this time…”

When I put more strength in my grip, I can feel her giving a start. She seems to
be confused, as she looks at me in a daze. Aah, somehow, she looks really like
Hiori right now. She would look at me the same way whenever she’s shocked by
my actions. Right after, she would turn into a scowl and scold me, though.

“Hiori has been… feeling lonely, too. She may have said that she hated both her
parents… but I’m sure… in truth… she’s lonely.”
“………”
“So please… be her support… and… protect them… both Hiori… and her child.”

Her eyes are quivering for a moment. But, seeming to have found her
determination, she looks at me straight in the eye. And…
“You’re a foolish one.”

She faintly smiles. Her lack of ability to smile is really similar to Hiori. It must be
the reason why I want to protect this woman, I think.

“…I’m sorry.”

After muttering those few words, she lets go of my hands and slowly walks
away. Although, instead of walking towards Hiori’s room, she’s heading to the
main part of the mansion.

“I wonder… if she’ll be okay…”

It seems that I’ve managed to prevent the worst from happening. But, there is
still something else I must do. I still have to convince Hiori that I’m the one who
hurt myself.

“Ugh… uh..”

Maybe because I’m feeling relieved, the pain returns to assail my abdomen, as
though I just remember it. I still have some talking to do with that man, but my
body is already at its limit.

(Is this the end for me…?)

I grasp the bloodstained scissors. While I still have strength in my legs, I drag
along my feet to reach the place where we usually meet up. When I reach the
usual spot, I lean on the big tree as I sit down. As long as I’m here, Hiori will be
able to find me.

“Haah…”

I wonder what Hiori will think when she looks at my condition. With how kind
she is, surely, she’s going to worry more than she needs to. I don’t want to make
her worry, but I have no more energy to move. At least, I’ll feign my composure
to deceive her.

(…Hiori?)
I put up with the pain, until Hiori finally arrived. My consciousness has been
flickering for a while, so I failed to notice her earlier. I can feel my body being
shook around, which is how I notice that Hiori is here by my side.

It seems that… I don’t have much time left.

I look towards Hiori with my unfocused eyes, and I can see her blurry face. Aah,
my eyes are getting hazy… I try to concentrate, and I can see her expression
somehow or another, which I carve in my heart. She looks really worried, and
sad. I feel a bit regret. I try to smile in order to ease her worries, but it doesn’t
seem to be working much. She always looks composed, so I find it a little cute
when she’s flustered like this. Well, I know it’s rude of me to think like that.

“…I’ll be right back.”

She is returning to the mansion to call the ambulance, and I gaze at her from
behind. To tell the truth, I want her to stay with me, but I no longer have the
strength to say anything, nor to reach my hand to her. Aah, there are so many
things that I still have to tell her. The only thing I can do now, is to pray that
everything will turn out well.

Hiori.

From the day I met her—since we were children, we were always together.
Our houses were nearby, so maybe it would be appropriate to call us childhood
friends.

She should have been two years younger than me, but she always acted so
haughtily.

To make it worse, she was from an old, rich family which would make her a
high-class lady fit for a painting.

If I was late to a meetup, even for just a minute, her mood would worsen and I
would become the target of her insult.

If I received a bad score on a test, she would lecture me with a stern look on her
face for hours.

If I fell over nothing, she would give a very cold look in her eyes, so much that I
thought she was going to kill me, albeit in a figurative sense.

She treated me poorly again and again, which would have inflicted a mental
trauma to normal people. I arrived to the thought that she might have hated me
all along. But when I resolved myself to ask her directly, apparently, that wasn’t
the case. It was fun spending time with her, so it made me really happy to know
that she didn’t hate me. Although, I don’t know what she really thought of me,
even now.
It’s okay even if I wasn’t her number one, or two, even if she did not think of me
as anyone special… it’s okay.

It would be great if she thought of me as a friend.

(haha…)

I reminisced a time when she ate a cookie I made with an expressionless face,
and murmured that it was delicious. ‘Is it really delicious?’ I asked, but she got
angry, telling me not to make her repeat herself. She was a girl that rarely smiled,
and she would never say her true feelings aloud. That’s why even if I call her my
childhood friend, I hardly know anything about her.

I thought it would be best to be quiet about things that she didn’t want to tell
others about.
(I was so stupid…)

Since she would get angry at me every time I received a bad mark, my grades
ended up going up. Although, it seems that the stupidity in my head never
changed. If only I was a bit smarter, things would not turn out like this.

I reap what I sow.

(There’s nothing I can do about it.)

Even so, perhaps it would have been better if I did what I could. After all, it is so
much better than regretting things I didn’t do.

(Still, I’m sure she’s really angry.)

My eyes can’t see anything anymore, my ears can’t hear anything, either. I can’t
see her displeased face, nor can I hear her icy voice anymore. It makes me feel
lonely, and pained. But taking on the positive side, I don’t need to listen to her
scolding because of it.

(Ah, it doesn’t hurt anymore.)

I have lost my eyesight, my sense of pain, as well as the strength to move my

body. Although I can’t confirm it, I am sure that a large amount of blood is
flowing out of my body—I am dying. I can no longer be saved.

(I’m going to die.)

Now that I think of it, I once joked about how I wanted to die with a smile on my
face. I think she said something in reply, while looking displeased.

(But in the end, I didn’t have the time to put on a smile.)

I wish I could say something to my mother, father, to my younger sister for the
last time. I wish I could see everyone’s faces, for one last look. Thinking back
upon it, I have so many regrets, but there’s nothing I can do anymore.
(I wonder if I managed to protect her.)

It’s frustrating that I can’t do anything anymore, but please… let her be happy. I
want her to be really, really happy and smile.

(I think, it’s soon.)

My consciousness is fading, and I can’t think anymore. I am slowly disappearing

from this world. Her face dimly appears in my mind, it was the last that I saw of
her—a face full of sadness. It doesn’t have to be a smile, but at least, it would
have been better if I could see her usual face.

I’m already prepared to die. Because no matter how I struggle, it’s a fact that I
can’t escape from.

But…

you know, I…

(…I don’t want to die.)

I want to be by her side.

I want to live in this world, in the world where she lives.

(I’m… sorry…)

Without being able to convey those words, and with those prayers, I slowly take
my last breath.
 A Warm Place

“I see… That’s what happened…”

When I finished telling Hiori about what had happened 16 years ago, the side
that she didn’t know about, she muttered those words. Her bitter expression
probably revealed her feelings of guilt and regret among other things. After
making her show that kind of face, I was at a loss of words, and I could only
keep silent.

Now, we’re going back home at a leisure pace while talking to each other. We
could’ve continued our conversation there, but when I received a mail from Saki
saying, ‘You’re super late. Dinner. Ready,’ we decided to return home for the
time being. Quite some time has passed since I left, so I guess everyone is getting
worried.

“Tsubaki.”
“Hm?”

She calls me using my [past name] in a stern voice. I look up at the crimson
evening sky, and I make a sound in response.

“It was all… my fault that you died… wasn’t it?

“Eh? That’s not true, though?”

“It is true!!”
She suddenly shouts while denying my words, which makes me look towards
her in surprise. There’s a clouded expression on her face, as she stares into my
eyes.

“I got you involved in my personal matter, even though it should have had
nothing to do with you. It’s all because I was weak, behaving like a spoiled child
to you…!”
“Don’t say that it has nothing to do with me. It makes feel so lonely.”
“But!!”
“After all, we have connection to each other, right?”
“………”

I won’t let Hiori say that we have nothing to do with each other. I won’t let her
see our encounter, the time that we spent together go away ‘as if they never
happened’.

“We had always been together, right?”

“…Yes.”

Even now, they remain vivid in my memories.

We played together. We took a nap, we studied, we went for a walk, we chatted,

we did many things together. Even after I reincarnated, my precious memories
with Hiori are still with me. Hiori is my childhood friend, as well as my best
friend. Nah, I think of her as someone more special. I don’t know how to name a
relationship that goes deeper than a best friend… although, she is as important
as my family. That’s why, when she says that I have nothing to do with it, it
makes me sad.

I grab one of her cold hands, and I grasp it tightly to warm her up. It’s already
spring, but it still gets chilly when it gets dark. From her hands, I can tell that
Hiori is feeling tense. How adorable she is.

“I died because of my own fault. If only I had handled it better, everything

wouldn’t have turned out that way.”

Like an idiot, I thoughtlessly jumped out back then. Bad luck struck, and that
was how it had to turn out. I was so pathetic. Instead of trying to stop that
person, I could’ve gone to Hiori first and escape somewhere. There must have
been many other options to take. I was too desperate back then. My judgement
was clouded, and I couldn’t think calmly. Although, I don’t regret what I did at
that time. I think it’s fortunate that I managed to protect Hiori in the end.

“Still, I believe… I don’t have the right to stay with you…”

“Aah, geez! Hiori!”
“W-what…?”

Startled, her eyes become round. Then, I give her a gentle smile.

“It’s true that I died back then. But, I don’t intend to blame anyone for that.”

What I have to blame, is nothing but my own foolishness.

That’s why, there’s no need for Hiori to feel guilty at all. That’s not what I wish
from her.

“I’ve already lived the past sixteen years as a different person. Our ages have
become so far apart. But… even so, I want to stay with you, Hiori… just like back
then.”
“Tsubaki…”
“Nope, I’m no longer Tsubaki. After all, you already have [Tsubaki] with you,
right?”

She is a polite and kind daughter, inheriting my name, and Hiori’s looks. One
[Tsubaki] is enough to stay by her side. Hiori has her family, and I have my own.
I have grown into a new [self] as Hayase Hinata.

“I want to live my current life. Maybe it’s important to look back to the past
sometimes, but I want to create the present with you, Hiori.”
“………”
“Can’t I?”

I know that what I’m saying is ridiculous. In the first place, my existence as the
reincarnation of Sekiguchi Tsubaki is already absurd. Whether or not Hiori will
accept me, depends on herself.
“…Hinata.”

Finally, she calls my name. Not Sekiguchi Tsubaki, but my name after I
reincarnated.

“I want to stay with you, as well. It doesn’t matter what kind of shape you take,
even though our circumstances have changed, nothing will change. My feelings
to you will never change.”
“Hiori…”
“Stay with me, forever, Hinata.”

She holds my hand firmly, transferring her warmth. Her earnest gaze and
glistening eyes make my heart pound loudly. I’m unconsciously drawn to her
prim and maturely beautiful face, which remains unchanged to this day. She
looks really young for her age.

…I’m captivated by Kurasaka Hiori, a woman so beautiful that it should be

illegal.

“………”

For some reason, we’re gazing at each other without saying anything. After a
little while, she opens her mouth and weaves a few words.

“I love you, Hinata.”

“Hue?!”

With a gentle tone that is so unlike her, she says those embarrassing words,
which makes me leak out an idiotic voice in surprise. Although, she looks
displeased when she sees my reaction.

But, butbutbut it’s because she took me by surprise! She said it out of the blue,
you know?! …Of course I would get embarrassed!!

While fanning my heating face, I force a cough to gloss it over.

“Uh, umm, are my Dad and Mom doing well? I mean… from the Sekiguchis…”

I change the topic to escape from this awkward situation. I didn’t get to meet
them even though I visited home the other day. So, I’m getting a bit curious.

“Yes, your parents are doing as well as ever…. I’ve been in their good care since
that incident.”
“I see. It’s been on my mind for a while. Yup, it’s good that they’re well.”
“Are you sure not to meet them?”
“Yup.”
“So… you aren’t going to tell them, either?”
“…Mhm.”

I wonder how sad Mom and Dad are to have a daughter who dies young.
However, it seems that they got over their sadness to support Hiori and Tsubaki.
There’s no meaning to tell them about me at this point. It’s true that I died, and I
don’t think they wish to hear about my ‘reincarnation’. Instead, they would tell
me ‘to live my current life to its fullest’, I’m sure.

“Besides, if I stay in this town… we’re bound to meet each other anyway.”

When I meet them, I can just make a new ‘bond’ with them as Hayase Hinata.
I hope they forgive me for being such a thankless daughter for dying ahead. I
hope that they spend every day smiling in good health. If anything happens to
them, I want to be able to help without hesitation. When all is said and done,
they’re still my beloved parents, the ones who had raised me lovingly for
eighteen years.

“…If you say so. Then I’m not going to inform them, either.”
“Thanks.”

It seems that there’s something she wants to say, but she didn’t. I’m thankful that
she’s being considerate.

Afterwards, we talk about lots and lots, as though we’re trying to close the 16-
year gap that had separated us. I ask her about things that I want to know, while
adding trivial topics in the mix. We never seem to run out of things to talk about.

“…We’ve already arrived.”

Chatting as we walk, we’ve suddenly reached home. After holding Hiori’s hand
all the way here, I gently release her. But, she makes an anxious face.

“Even if you look at me like that… what else can I do?”

“Y-you don’t need to tell me that.”

It seems that I’ve just made her sulk, as she turns her face away. I guess it’s just
her way to hide her embarrassment. Even though she looks like a refined adult
from all perspective, I think that the childish side of her is really unexpected and
cute… She’s going to get angry and ignore me for a while if I mention it, though.
I’ll just keep it to myself.

“I’m sure everyone is waiting, let’s go in.”

“Yes.”

So I put my hand on the door handle.

“Welcome home.”

“…Tsubaki.”

When I open the front door, Tsubaki is there to greet us with a gentle smile. She’s
my important friend who found out the truth about the [me] that I’d been hiding.
Also, in a way, I think of her as my irreplaceable daughter.

“Welcome home—! Geez, you’re late! I’m super hungry, you know—!”
“My, welcome home. You’re getting so late that I thought you would be back by
the morning.”

My pouting sister, as well as my grinning mother appears from the inner room.
These troublesome people always have their way to tease me, but they never fail
to cheer me up.

“Welcome home, Hiori-san, Hinata-chan.”

This time, Rumi shows her face out of nowhere. She can be absent-minded at
times, but out of everyone I know, she works the hardest. She’s my kind sister
who’s been helping Hiori when I couldn’t.

The people that are gathering in droves at the entranceway are all, my precious
family.

And the one standing next to me, is my special person, the one whom I want to
protect for the rest of my life.

‘What’ I thought I’ve lost forever, is here.

My chest feels tight, because it’s being filled with warm feelings.
My words are stuck in my throat, and I can’t seem to speak. Even though they
have no idea what I’m feeling right now, standing here in this place, everyone is
waiting for me patiently to say those words.

……I take a deep breath.

I’m used to saying these two words, but this time, I’m conveying it with a
different meaning.

I face the precious family standing in front of me.

“I’m home.”

I’m finally able to say it out, those two words.

And right after.

“Welcome home.”

Replies the girl standing next to me, before anyone else can overtake her.
 The World Where You Live

“Hello.”
“[Ah, Hinata!]”

When I press the call button on my cell phone, I can hear the merry voice of my
always excessively cheerful mother. Her voice is so loud that it hurts my ear, so I
hold my phone a bit farther away from my ear.

“[It’s been a long time. How are you? Are you doing okay? Are you forcing
yourself? Mom is really, really worried about you.]”
“Yup, but I… just left yesterday, remember?!”

Why is she making it sound like I’ve left for the capital or something? It’s not like
I left home to go independent or something. I’ll be back next week, you know?

“[By the way, you’re not making any trouble for Hiori-san, are you?]”
“Of course I’m not.”

I can say for sure that I’m not making trouble for her. In fact, I think I’m
reserving myself a bit too much in that regard. It’s been tiring since our
departure, and I expel a sigh, just from remembering it. Tsubaki suddenly
disappeared midway, Hiori threw a tantrum, Tsubaki declared that all of us
would sleep together in one bed for some reason, among other things. It’s been
fun in its own way, but to be honest, I’m getting tired.

“[My, you don’t sound so energetic. Are you feeling homesick? Are you lonely
because Mom isn’t there? Gee, Hinata~ you’re so cute like that!]”
“Not. Even. Close!!”
“[Fufu, no need to be shy.]”

Aaaah, geez! Why does she never listen to what I say to her! I beg you, please
take my words more literally.
“[Hey, hey, hello, Onee-chan? I heard you’re feeling homesick? …pff, you’re so
lame!]”
“Eh? Saki?!”

This time, it’s not Mother’s voice, but my sister’s. It seems that Mother really
thinks that the reason I’m not feeling energetic is because of homesickness.
Thinking that it will cheer up, she passes the phone to Saki. Urgh, she’s worrying
too much… even though I clearly said that I’m not homesick.

“[So, have you bought the souvenir that I asked?”

“Yup, sure did. I bought the local wooden sword, as you told me.”
“[Break that thing in two and throw them away right this instant.]”

Whoaaa, scary, scary. She actually snapped at me when I was just joking with
her. I always thought that it’s the norm to buy wooden swords as souvenirs. Ah,
but I guess that’s for school trips.

“I’m joking, okay? I bought it. The exclusive cell phone strap from this area,
right?”
“[Sheesh, don’t tease me like that. Well, never mind, since you did buy it
properly.]”
“Of course. And I bought the wooden sword, too, since I thought it would suit
you, Saki.”
“[…When you get home, I’ll play with you with the wooden sword you bought
me.]”
So scary—?!

I-I guess I bought something unnecessary. I was thinking that she might need it
since she’s been getting popular among the weirdest bunch. Hahaha, you’ve
gotten Onee-chan scared to go home now.

“[Anyway, listen to this! That person’s in our house right now, and she’s so
annoying! Hey, aah! She got the phone!]”
“……Aah, could it be?”
“[Hello, Hinata-chan?]”

The loud, squawking voice of my sister is replaced with Rumi’s composed voice.

Because Saki has poor grades, Rumi has been coming to tutor that girl recently
when she finds the time. I don’t mind teaching Saki myself, but she once told me,
‘The way you teach really sucks,’ so I had no choice but to entrust it to Rumi. I
can’t help but respect her for going out of her way to teach that girl when she’s
already busy with her own work.

They don’t seem to hit it off, though, with the way Saki always flares up at Rumi
whenever they meet. It doesn’t seem that girl actually hates Rumi… she could’ve
tried to get along better.

“I’m sorry about this.”

First things first, I humbly apologize for my little sister’s rude behavior. It’s
already an everyday thing, but it still makes me feel guilty nonetheless.

“[Fufu, it’s okay. More importantly, how is it going over there?]”

“Yup, we’ve just arrived.”
“[I see.]”

Rumi’s calm voice is really pleasing to the ear. Aah, I’m getting healed.

“I bought some souvenirs, so look forward to it.”

“[Mhm. Ah, but, spare me the wooden swords, okay?]”

Oh dear, she heard us. Sad.

“Tsubaki’s here with me, wanna talk to her?”

“[Mm-mm, it’s about time Saki continues her studies.]”

‘Geh!’ I can hear Saki’s voice faintly from the other side. If only Rumi would
teach her manners and speech other than just her studies. Oh, in that case, she
should be teaching Mother, too.

“Got it, Sensei. My sister is in your good hands.”

“[Fufu, leave her to me. Take care.]”
“Yup, bye.”

I’m going to disconnect the call, but I hear Mother’s voice again, so I press the
phone back to my ear.
“[Ah, Hinata? Dad said he’ll be home next Tuesday.]”
“Really? I thought his schedule to return to Japan was much later.”
“[The other day, when I was talking with Dad… I told him that it’s troubling
how Hinata has been getting so popular, or something. That’s when he told me
he’s going to return earlier than planned.]”
“What kind of false news are you feeding hiiiiim?!”

Who’s been getting so popular that it’s troubling?! When?! Since I was born, and
died, and born again, I’ve never been popular, not even once, you know?! Aaaah,
Dad must have taken it the wrong way. It’s gonna be hard to clear his
misunderstanding… after all, he’s such a doting parent. Well, I’m happy to know
Dad’s coming home soon. Rather, I’m looking forward to it.

“[See you, Hinata. Take care of yourself, okay? Send my regards to Hiori-san and
Tsubaki-chan.]”
“Okay—”

I end the call and put my cell phone in the pocket, when I feel someone gazing at
me. I look beside me, to find Tsubaki smiling next to me in good humor. It makes
me embarrassed for some reason, so I avert my eyes.

“Was it from Emiko-san?”

“Yup, she wanted to know how I’m doing… and she sent her regards to you
both.”
“Fufufu.”
“? ……hey, what is it?”
“It’s nothing.”
“???”

She’s awfully in a good mood, which is tugging at me. Well, as long as she’s
having fun, I guess.

“Mom’s late.”
“Yeah.”
Me, Hiori, and Tsubaki—the three of us are making use of the consecutive
holidays to go on a trip. I called it a trip, but in reality, we are here to visit a
grave.

——Right, today is Hiori’s Mom’s death anniversary.

We investigated where her grave is located at, and we found out that she was
entombed in her hometown. And so, we came to a place quite far away from our
home. After we paid our respects together, Tsubaki and I left Hiori by herself in
the cemetery… I’m sure she’s currently reporting all the things that she couldn’t
say all this time.

She told me that she wouldn’t forgive her mother in her whole life. But, she’s
finally ready to come face to face with her mother, after such a long, long time.
Even though she can’t meet her mother anymore, nor can she talk together with
her, I believe there is a meaning for Hiori and Tsubaki to come here together.

“Hinata-san, can I take a walk over there? There are some flowers blooming
prettily, so I want to take a closer look.”
“Yup, go on. I’ll wait here for Hiori.”
“Yes!”

I watch Tsubaki as she trots away happily. The way she frolics around brings a
smile to my face.

“…What are you grinning about?”

“Whoa! Hiori.”

Hiori is standing behind me from who knows when. She’s folding her arms,
showing her displeasure. Um, I couldn’t feel her presence at all…

“Tsubaki just left to watch the flowerbed that way. You just missed each other.”
“She’ll be back soon. Let’s wait here for her.”
“Okay, okay. So, how was it?”
“…For the time being, I’ve told her everything that I have to say.”
“I see.”

That should be enough for now. After all, through the blank look on her face, I
can somehow tell that she’s feeling liberated. With this, only the matter with her
father remains. However, we couldn’t get a hold of him at all.

“Who cares about my parents anyway.”

She actually cares about them. As always, she’s not honest with herself. Thinking
that it’s just like Hiori, I make a wry smile.

“Parents, huh.”

She mutters those words out of nowhere. Her long, beautiful, black hair flutters
as she looks up to the clear sky.

“I’m a foolish parent myself. I was thinking of only myself, I hurt that child’s
feelings… and I let her feel lonely by herself.”
“……”

Regretting what she’s done, she shows a sorrowful face as she let out her
feelings.

“Even though you lost your life to protect me, I… I became a worthless mother.
I’m truly sorry.”
“I believe you should say those words to Tsubaki, not me… But, I think what
Tsubaki seeks aren’t words of apology, either.
“I wonder if it is so.”
“Yup, it is.”

I believe what Tsubaki wants to hear from her mother isn’t an apology, but
something entirely different. Although, the only one who can tell her those
words, is Hiori herself.

“…It’s already too late for me to start thinking of protecting her, of loving her… I
wonder if I still have the rights to do so.”
“Well, it’s true that you were late, but you realized it, and that’s where it counts,
Hiori. This is where you start. Give her your affections, make up for what you
had missed all this time.”

As long as you’re alive, you have a chance to do it over again.

“……You’re right. We still have much time ahead of us.”

The time of separation is bound to come someday. But, I believe the day still far,
far ahead in the future.

We’re here, alive. And we’re going to live together, with our precious ones.

“In that case, I will give my affection, as much as I need to make up for the lost
times.”

Hiori approaches me, and whispers it to my ear. Her ticklish words, as well as
her warm breath make me quiver.

“…hah?”

“Prepare yourself.”
“Eh? Huh? I thought we were talking about Tsubaki…”

“Fufu.”

She smiles.
She smiles so happily.

It’s a smile that comes from the bottom of her heart.

There is no trace of shadows in her bright, dazzling smile.

This is my first time seeing her smiling genuinely.

My eternal wish has finally been fulfilled.

I feel happy, so happy… that my tears are gonna flow.

But she’ll laugh at me if I start crying here, so I refrain myself. I hold the tears
that are threatening to spill, and I make the widest smile that I can muster.

“Please, go easy on me.”

I love you.

I love you, Hiori.

Right now, I’m feeling so happy that it makes me doubt if I’m qualified to
instead.

I have my precious family, who would stay with me. I have my beloved people,
who would watch over me. I have my significant other, who would love me.

No other happiness exists, other than being able to tread the future together with
them.

“Mom! Hinata-san!”

Hearing a lively shout coming from behind, I turn around to see Tsubaki
running towards us with all her strength. Hiori and I look at each other and
smile about how lovely and charming she is.

“Let’s go, Hiori.”

“Yes.”

We link our hands, firmly, so that we’ll never be separated again.

Now, let’s go.

Towards our happy future, together————

Aah——

I’m really grateful

that I was born again in this world.

 end.

This is the end of the story. Thank you so much for reading to the end.
 The Happiness Written on Her Palm ＊1

I heard the books that I had requested were arriving today, and so I’m currently
taking my sweet time in the bookstore… when I spot someone I know enter
through the front door while acting strangely.

(……What the heck is she doing?)

I assume that she’s trying to hide herself behind a bookshelf. But if that’s the
case, she fails horribly. Besides, her suspicious behavior is making her stand out
even more. I’m puzzled whether I should greet her properly, or act as if I don’t
know her and leave…

After pondering for a bit, I’m getting worried that the police might drag her for a
questioning sometime soon. Thus, I decide to call her out.

When I tap her shoulder from behind, her whole body jerks and she looks at me,
aghast.

“Kyaaaaah?!”
“Whoa!”

She’s gotten more surprised than I expected. We manage to gain the strange
looks from the people in the store, as well as the clerk at the counter who is
scowling at us. I guess the sooner we leave the place, the better.

I reluctantly place the book I’m holding back to its shelf, before seizing her hand
and promptly dragging the stupefied girl out of the bookstore. After we exit the
store, I turn my face to Rumi, who seems to be unable to keep up with the
situation.

“H-Hinata-chan?”
“What were you doing, sneaking around in a bookstore like that? …You looked
really suspicious.”
She was bewildered at first, but it soon wears off after she takes a good look at
my face.

“W-was I acting that strangely?”

“…It was like you were going to shoplift or something.”

The shop clerk was glaring like he was facing his arch nemesis. When I frankly
tell her about it, she looks glum and depressed.

“Uuh… I’m a teacher, for argument’s sake…”

“Eh? Were you actually trying to shoplift earlier?”
“N-no! Of course not!!”
“Haah… What were you doing then?”

I speak with astonishment, but Rumi seems to be hard-pressed to answer.

“I was… hiding from someone.”

“Eh? From who?”
“Well…..”

It seems that she’s trying to dodge the question by forcing a laugh while averting
her eyes from me. I’m not really trying to pry, and it’s probably better for me to
back off. Although, the slight gloom that remains in her expression bothers me a
bit.

“Anyway, Hinata-chan, what were you doing at the bookstore… although, it

goes without saying that you were there to buy some books, doesn’t it?”
“Yup, the books that I wanted to purchase seem to be arriving today, but…”

I couldn’t. Noticing the meaning behind my gaze, Rumi makes an awkward

smile.

“…S-sorry— It’s my fault.”

“It’s fine, I can just come back later. Then, see you. Take care not to be found.”

It’d be awkward to go back to the bookstore right away. And, I shouldn’t be

keeping her here when she’s trying to get away from some pursuers. Left with
no other choice, I decide to return home for the time being. However, she
suddenly seizes my arm, keeping me in place.
“Eh? What is it?”
“…Since you’re here and all, let’s walk home together partwa… ah, never mind!
Sorry for stopping you!”

The way she’s hesitating really makes me worried. And, it clearly shows on her
face that she’s restraining herself.

“It feels lonely to walk by myself. I wonder if there’s anyone around who would
accompany me~ Haha.”
“Eh? But…”
“I’ve heard rumors about a suspicious person loitering around here recently.
Rumi-san, to tell the truth, I feel a little scared. It’d be such a relief if you would
walk me home, you know~”

And that suspicious person is standing right in front of me. Of course, I’m not
saying that part aloud.

Listening to my words, ‘Aah!’ Rumi suddenly raises her voice before nodding in
assent.

“Come to think of it, I think they mentioned about it during the faculty
meeting… I was half asleep, so I’ve totally forgotten about it.”
“Y-you can’t be forgetting about these things.”
“Ehehe, sorry.”

She grows despondent and down, like she’s a pet dog that just got scolded. I
can’t tell which of us is the adult like this.

“In that case, it’s my obligation as a teacher to make sure that the students reach
home safely.”
“Yippee— please take care of me—”
“Mm! Leave it to me.”

Rumi puffs up with pride. Although, I feel bad for her since the rumored
suspicious person is actually known to appear at night. In other words, it’s
relatively safe when the sun is still high up in the sky like now. Well, it doesn’t
hurt to be cautious, and I don’t want to throw cold water on Rumi’s eagerness.
I’ll keep quiet about it for the time being.
“Then, let’s be on our way. Ah, were you on any other errands?”
“Nope, I’m good.”

As we walk, we chat about various things. I find out that Rumi is actually
working at a famous private girl-only high school that is located two blocks
away from my school. The place where she teaches gives me the impression of
having strict regulations, but if I’m to believe Rumi’s words, it doesn’t seem to be
so in reality.

“A—ah, I thought that an all-girls school is where everyone greets each other
with, ‘Good day,’ or something.”
“Fufu, it really isn’t that different from co-ed schools. Although, with no male
students around, the girls can be slightly more unrestrained, you know.”
“Heeh—”

It’s awfully different from the rumors that I’ve heard. That private school sounds
like any other schools out there. I’ve always thought that it was a place only for
the rich, with some factions here and there; a place only for high-class ladies to
attend.

“Hinata-chan, you and Tsubaki-chan are in the same school, right?”

“Yup, I picked that place since it’s close to home. Commuting to school every
day is so convenient that I can sleep in right to the last minute.”
“………”
“Hm? What is it?”
“Eh? I-it’s nothing. Your school is quite the elite one, you know? Was that really
the only thing in your mind when you studied so hard for the school entrance
examination?”
“I’m smart, so the entrance exam was as easy as cake.”
“R-really? You’re amazing.”

I raise my thumb and gives her a wink. Rumi, on the other hand, cramps up as
she smiles awkwardly. It’s the truth, though, I didn’t study much for the exam. I
did go through a light review, but I wouldn’t call that an effort on my part.
Besides, I’ve already had my share of hardship of studying for a high school
entrance exam during my previous life. Yup, at that time, I had to go through a
lot.

Namely, the pep talks from Her Highness, Hiori-sama.

“By the way, what subject does Rumi-sensei teach at school?”
“I’m teaching mathematics. And, I’ve been assigned as a homeroom teacher
starting from this term. It’s been really busy.”
“Ahaha, keep at it.”
“Mm…”

She may be saying that it’s been busy for her, but she looks quite cheerful in that
regard. I guess she’s happy to be relied on as a homeroom teacher. I believe that
her occupation is a perfect fit. Although I have no complaints about my current
school, I start to think that I should’ve taken the exam to the all-girls school
instead. I want to attend one of Rumi’s classes, even once would be good.

“Come to think of it, which school did Rumi-san graduate from?”

“Actually, it’s the girls’ school where I’m teaching right now. You see… it had
been my plan to work where I graduated from as soon as I received my teacher’s
license.”
“Ah, I see.”
“Mm, when I was accepted as a teacher at my alma mater… I managed to fulfill
both my promise, and my dream at the same time.”

Said Rumi happily. However, there is a hint of sadness in her expression as she
squints her eyes.

“…Rumi-san, are you glad to become a teacher?”

“Of course I am. It may be quite hectic, but it’s worth going through it all. It’s
fun, too.”

She replies to my question in a firm tone, without getting bashful. I’m relieved
that she could realize her own wish and [dream].

“Hm?”

It seems Rumi has stopped walking at some point. When I look over my
shoulder, I find Rumi falling behind, staring at someplace.

“Rumi-sa–“

I approach her, and I notice that her complexion has turned pale, even paler than
at the bookstore. I can see her trembling faintly, and it seems that she doesn’t
notice me even though I’m already standing next to her. Rumi keeps looking at
the same place as she stiffens. I try to follow her gaze, but I can’t spot anything
out of place.

“What’s wrong?”
“………”

She’s not answering. She looks frightened, and her gaze is fixated on something I
can’t see.

“Hh?!”

All of a sudden, I can feel a shivering gaze from behind the telephone pole.
Could that be the suspicious person hiding behind it? There goes my assurance
that he only appears at night.

“…Recently, I feel as if I’m being watched time and again. At first, I thought that
I was just being too self-conscious.”

“So, you were hiding in the bookstore because…”

“Mm, it’s because I felt someone’s gaze on me……”

Isn’t that already classified as a stalker…? It was just the other day when I saw a
special TV program about an extreme case of it. My imagination ends up going
wild and fear creeps into me. I start to tremble while I try to think of a way out.
The one we’re facing is most likely a man. He seems to be alone, but it’d be
dangerous if he’s carrying some kind of weapon. Forget about me, it’d be bad if
something happens to Rumi. Our best option right now is to run away.

“Stop looking at him. Let’s go!”

“Ah…”

Rumi seems to be frozen stiff, so I grab her hand to forcefully drag her away. But
at that moment, I feel an unpleasant sensation from behind, so I turn around in a
fluster. There, I see that the figure is running towards us vigorously.

“!!”

From the situation, I make an instant judgement and stand before Rumi to
protect her from the stalker.
“No! Hinata-chan!!”
“Hh!”

Just as I make up my mind to strike the stalker down, he stops right before I can
grab him. That’s when I try to identify the suspicious stalker.

The figure has a small build, slender arms, large eyes, silky hair with moderate
length, and a pair of beautiful lips.

“…Eh? A girl?”

No matter how I try to look at it, she’s a girl around my age. Yup, there’s no way
such a cute girl can actually be a guy. Rumi is checking up on her from behind
me, when ‘Ah!’ she raises her voice in surprise.

“Shimazaki-san?!”

When Rumi calls her name, the girl twitches in response. I look at Rumi and her
alternately.

“Eh…? So, Rumi-san, you know this girl…?”

“She’s one of the students from my school. I taught her class before.”
“………”

I feel spent, my legs almost give way. Although, I use my spirits to stand firm
and recover my posture. I look at Shimazaki-san, the so-called student, but she’s
glaring at me like I’m her family’s enemy. Did I hurt her feelings in some way?

“Could it be that, you’re the one who’s been watching me recently?”

Asks Rumi timidly. The girl’s cheeks are flushing red as she nods slightly… Hey,
why are you blushing?
“Why are you doing such a thing?”
“It’s…”

After fidgeting around for a short while, she gives her answer in a soft whisper.

“It’s because I love you, Sensei…”

“………”
“………”

Getting a ‘Kya! I finally said it~☆’ vibe from the girl in front of us, Rumi and I
simply stare at her, dumbfounded. Being left open-mouthed truly describes our
current situation… is what comes to mind as I try to escape from reality. My
thought process has stopped due to the shock. Although, now that I’ve begun to
accept the situation, I start thinking about the next course of action I should take.

…………Alright.

“Well then, I’ll take my leave and let the young’uns take their time–“

I try to act as if I’m accompanying Rumi at a marriage interview as her guardian.

So, I’m ready to leave the place as to read the mood, but it ends in failure because
my arm has been seized, again.
“Please, wait! Hinata-chan!”
“Go on home.”
“………”

Rumi looks forlorn with glittering eyes, while Shimazaki-san looks at me with
contempt, as if I’m some disgusting bug. She’s right, though, just let me go home
already.

“Uum, Shimazaki-san, was it?”

“Haah? Can you not speak my name so casually?”
“…Ms. Stalker, is the reason you have been stalking Rumi-san because of your
love towards her?”
“Shut up and die.”
“……”
“Shimazaki-san!!”

Won’t the conversation proceed more smoothly if I go out of the picture? But,
there’s a chance that Ms. Stalker here will do something hasty, so leaving them
alone might not be a good idea. I’m still thinking about what to do, but the
Stalker Shimazaki-san keeps glaring at me. Forget it, I won’t be satisfied until I
give her a piece of my mind.

“Um, although it’s your freedom to like whoever you want, you should be more
discreet so that you don’t cause trouble for him, or her in that regard. If you’re
really in love with Rumi-san, I believe that making her hate you is the wrong
way to go about it.”

“Hey, who are you to Sensei? You’re calling her name so casually, and even
sticking to her… Who do you think you are?”

I wonder if she’s even listening to me.

“I’m just her acquaintance.”

“In that case, you’re irrelevant to this matter. Go away, and don’t come close to
Sensei a second time.”

Her overly abusive words are tearing my heart to pieces.

“I-I’ll ask this just in case. Do you really love Rumi-san?”

“Haah? Of course I do… It’s because I want to be with Sensei that I follow her
around like this. Ah, perhaps, have you never fallen in love before? That must be
why you don’t understand what I’m talking about.”

The way she looks down on me is so annoying.

“What did you say?! Even I have fallen in love once or twice!!
“……”
“Or… maybe not?”
“Why is that a question?”

Even though I’m already two times older than the girl in front of me, I can’t
remember having any romantic experiences at all. Thinking back, I’ve spent my
youthful days in loneliness.

“Hmph, then you’re in no position to preach to me about love.”

Ugh, her words shouldn’t have any effects on me, but I still find them mortifying
one way or another.

“Shimazaki-san.”

After staying silent all this time, Rumi finally confronts the stalker girl. She looks
so earnest, and there is no hint of fear nor nervousness from her expression.

“Sensei!”

The gaze that she sends to Rumi, is not one of contempt (that she gave me).
Instead, I can see the passion in her pupils. Even so, Rumi starts to speak,
without averting her eyes from her.

“Shimazaki-san, I’m really happy to receive your confession. But, I’m sorry… I
can’t return your feelings.”
“Hh?!!”
“………”
Rumi looks apologetic as she rejects her confession.

“W-why?! But I love Sensei so much!”

“I’m a teacher, while you’re a student. And above all, I just can’t see you that
way…”
“Our status is irrelevant! I… I’m…!!”
“I’m sorry. No matter what you say, it’s impossible for me to return your love.”
“——hh!!”

No matter what that girl says, Rumi won’t change her answer. The girl seems to
be in so much shock, that she runs away without minding her own image. Rumi
looks at her retreating figure with a pained look on her face. I’m sure this much
is enough for her to give up on Rumi…

“I’m sorry for dragging you into my private problem, Hinata-chan.”

The sight of her, forcing a smile just to comfort me is painful to look at. And so, I
remain silent. Shimazaki-san have gone too far with her methods, but I think it
was really out of her love towards Rumi. After rejecting Shimazaki-san, Rumi
looks gentle, yet worried about something.

I can feel a hint… of helplessness from her.

“Rumi-san, you’re really good-natured. After all the inconvenience she brought
you with her stalkerish behavior, you still gave an honest answer to her
confession.”

“I don’t have any way to return her feelings. Besides, I was telling the truth, I
was happy to hear about her feelings.”

“In the end, did you reject her because of your status? Or, is it because you are
both girls?”

“Mm-mm, that’s just a front. I believe that love can sprout regardless of social
status and gender. The reason I didn’t accept her feelings is simply because I
don’t love her… I think.”

“I see.”
For a while after, an awkward silence fills the heavy air around us… Alright, I
should pull out a different topic to lift up her spirits.

“Rumi-san, you’re really popular, aren’t you?!”

I try to brighten the mood by giving a peppy shout. Although belated, I wonder
if it’s too insensitive of me to ask that. It’s already too late for me to do anything
about it anyway. She doesn’t seem to mind about it as she ponders for a little
while before she answers.

“Well, I’ve been getting confessed to a few times.”

“Ooh~”

I knew it. There’s no way people would leave such a beauty by herself. Still, I’m
deeply moved to know that the small and innocent Rumi has really grown into
such a mature adult. I was surprised when she told me that she hasn’t dated
anyone even once the last time I asked her about it.

“Wasn’t there anyone you liked among the ones who confessed to you?”
“Hmm… I guess I didn’t feel like going out with any of them.”
“My, what a waste.”
“Fufu, I suppose I should start considering it seriously, though.”
“…Rumi-san, I don’t think you need to be in a hurry. With how beautiful and
charming you are, you’ll find a good person approaching you on their own.”

I think the girl just now was among those who got captivated by Rumi’s beauty.

“………”
“Well, I don’t have any romantic experiences myself, and I don’t know much
about such things. I suppose I’m not in the position to assert my opinion too
much.”

Hrm, I’m seriously bad at these topics. I have no idea what to say anymore.
Meanwhile, Rumi is deep in thought for some reason, she’s just standing there in
a daze.

“Rumi-san?”
“Eh?!”
I call out to her, worrying that she might be thinking too much. She looks
towards me, startled. But soon after, she averts her gaze while showing an
awkward smile.

“Thank you, Hinata-chan… for cheering me up.”

“Well, sure…”
“I’m fine now.”

I think she’s grown into a fine adult. She would act spoiled, following me
anywhere while crying before. But, that girl is now standing in a position that
gives support to other children. With her own two feet, she’s treading the path
that she believes in. It makes me happy, but lonely… and worried at the same
time.

“Ah, Hinata-chan. Your home is in that direction, so this is where we part ways.
Although, should I just send you all the way home?”
“It’s alright. I practice judo, so I’ll throw any suspicious person back to where
they come from.”

I say that to her, brimming with confidence. But she looks worried instead.

“T-that’s too dangerous, so don’t do it, okay? If something really happens, make
sure to run away, okay?”
“Okay…”
“Come to think of it, when Shimazaki-san came to us… you covered for me,
didn’t you?”
“Aah—”

I was relieved to think that she didn’t notice, with how shaken she was. But, it
seems that it only slipped off her mind after what happened.

“What if it was a real criminal, carrying a dangerous weapon? You could have
died, you know?”
“……”

Wasn’t that girl one step away from being a criminal herself? I almost blurted
that out loud, but Rumi looks as if she’s gonna cry right now. I always clam up
when she’s like this, as I had always been in the past.
“Although it makes me happy that you were there to protect me, you can’t be
putting yourself in harm’s way. Please.”
“…Mm.”

As I receive her scolding, I can only nod in compliance. Rumi seems to be

worried about something. She looks really sad while making a complex
expression.

“I’m sorry, even though it was all my fault to begin with.”

“Mm-mm, I’m the one who did everything my way.”
“Thank you… for your help today.”

‘See you,’ said Rumi before she walks along a different path. After a short while,
I call out her name.

“Rumi-saan!”
“Eh?”
“Come to visit us again sometime—! I’ll make pancakes for you—! It’s going to
be chocolate flavor next time—!”
“………hh”
“See you agai—n!”

I smile at Rumi as she shows me a surprised look, then I turn on my heel and
start walking home.

A few days later.

“I’m so tired~”

I throw my worn out body down to the bed and bury my face in the pillow. I had
to participate in the detestable marathon training for today’s class, it was terrible.
I kept running throughout the PE period, and now my feet feel sore. Aah— how
come my class is doing marathon when Tsubaki’s is doing volleyball?

Unfortunately, Tsubaki and I aren’t in the same class. Our classrooms are next to
each other, though. We always walk together to school in the morning, and we
also have many occasions to chat, so it doesn’t feel that lonely. My homeroom
teacher is strict, but earnest. And, my classmates are all outgoing and friendly.
Thus, I’m enjoying my perfect school life a whole lot.

“Fwaaah”

I yawn widely. My fatigue is gradually sending me to dreamland, and my

eyelids seem to become heavier. I was planning to look over the school printout
that was handed to us today, but I can’t win against the Sandman. Deciding to
hold it off for tomorrow, I close my eyes to end the day.

Peep peep peep peep peep

…which I open again just in a short while.

I reach out towards the sound to seize the small, vibrating lump of metal. I draw
it close to my face and look at the display. When I notice the two kanji of [Rumi]
on the screen, I press the call button in a hurry.

“Hello, this is Hinata speaking——”

“[Ah, it’s me.]”
“Is this one of those ‘it’s me, it’s me’ scams?”
“[N-no! It’s me! Sekiguchi Rumi!”]”
“Aah— it’s Rumi-san— Don’t surprise me like that—”
“[…Hinata-chan, you’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you? You even speak in
monotone.]”
“Of course, that’s not true.”

Ahahaha, as I let out a nonchalant laugh, I can hear a long sigh from the other
side of the phone. It seems that she’s astonished by my quip.

“[Hinata-chan, you usually give off the impression of being calm and adultlike,
but you also have this childish side of you that I wouldn’t expect.]”
“An adult woman wears many faces.”
“[H-haah…]”

I speak with a serious tone to show my adult aspect, only to receive a languid
response.

“Anyway, did you need something urgent? It’s rare of you to call at this time.”

Usually, she would leave a message for me to reply. Actually, this is the first time
she’s calling me this late.

“[Eh? Ah, no, that’s not it… Well, uh…]”

Her vague answer puzzles me. I wait for her to continue.

“[You know, Hiori-san sent me a message and… Hinata-chan, did you get the
first rank in the academic test?]”
“Aah, yup.”

I practically cheated since I had completed all of the high school curriculum
before. That’s why I don’t feel that happy about it. Well, I still had to do some
light reviews, naturally.

Either way, why did Hiori have to inform Rumi about it? She didn’t have to, it’s
embarrassing!

“[That’s amazing. Congratulations.]”

Did she really call me just to tell me that? When I had just a scratch the other
time, she went all the way to visit me with a box of cakes. Hmm, was she always
that serious of a girl?
“[Um, am I bothering you? Sorry for calling you out of nowhere for something so
trivial.]”
“You’re definitely not! Thank you very much for going out of your way to call
me! I’m so happy!”
“[R-really? Thank goodness… I was worried that I might be annoying you like
this.]”

There’s no way that would happen. If you were calling me for the sake of
congratulating me, of course it would make me happy.

“You’re worrying too much. I’m so happy to receive your call, you know?”
“[Mm, that’s a relief, then.]”

Perhaps with some of her tension lifted, her voice sounds somewhat brighter.
You don’t need to be that nervous around me.

“[Ah, sorry. I should hang up before the vice principal finds me out.]”
“…You’re still at work?”
“[Actually, I’m staying behind today. There is some preparation that I need to do
for tomorrow…]”
“Haah, that sounds terrible. Good luck to you.”
“[Thank you. Mm, I’ve gotten some of my spirits back after speaking with you,
Hinata-chan. With this, I think I can keep doing my best!]”
“Ahaha, good for you, then.”
“[Can I… you know, call you again sometime?]”

She asks me in a soft and reserved voice. It’s so cute that I can feel my face
heating up. I’m thankful for the bottom of my heart that she can’t see my face via
a phone call.

“Of course you can.”

“[Then, I’ll be in touch.]”
“Yup, good luck with your work.”
“[Of course! See you.]”

Beep, and the call ends. I press the power button to lock the cell phone, and toss it
to the other side of the bed.
“Ah…”
I notice that the drowsiness from earlier has been blown away. It seems that
talking with Rumi has completely perked me up.

I get up from bed and search my bag for the printout, along with a textbook.
When I flip through the pages, I find that some of the pages are not too familiar
to me. Although my textbooks and their contents are pretty similar to what I had
learned during my previous first year in high school, the design has gone
through a complete change.

Well, since textbooks always have some small revisions over the years, I guess
it’s just to be expected. I may have learned all of this before, but it’s fun in its
own way to review it. Still, I wonder why I always have this urge to draw some
scribbles in my textbook whenever I open it, especially figure sticks.

I decide to stop reading since I’m getting in a whimsical mood. So, I throw
myself down to the bed once more.

Peep peep peep peep

“Yes yes~”

I grab my ringing phone, and see that it’s a message from Tsubaki. Let’s see,
[Will you come this weekend?] is what it says. I quickly tap on my reply before
pressing the send button. It goes without saying… that my answer is the same as
always. By the way, weekend here refers to the day I stay over at her house.
Before I realize it, staying over during the weekends at Tsubaki’s home has
turned into a custom. Well, the opposite also happens sometimes.

After a while, my cell phone rings again. Although I’m expecting Tsubaki’s
reply, what is written in the sender’s name is [Mother] instead. I find it strange as
I open the message.

[Subject C has appeared. Emergency. Send assistance to the kitchen.]

“…………”
She could’ve told me directly… Actually, you can dispose it yourself. Left with
no other choice, I spur on my tired body and head towards the kitchen.
 The Happiness Written on Her Palm ＊2

Chime

“It’s done.”

I take out the freshly-baked scones from the oven and arrange them on a plate.
The brown color and appetizing aroma indicate that I’ve managed to bake them
well. I try one of the scones, the crunchy texture mixed with the taste of walnut
permeate in my mouth.

“I wanna have one, too~!”

Perhaps lured by the smell, Saki came to the kitchen. She’s really a shrewd one.

“Sure, here.”
“Thanks. Aah— Mm?! Hot!!”

That’s because she’s biting into a scone that is just out of the oven so hastily.
She’s holding her hand over her mouth. I make a strained laugh as I hand her a
cup of water, which she gulp down in one go in a fluster.

“Fwaah~ it’s too hot…”

“Well, of course it is. I just took them out from the oven.”
“But it’s delicious~ Oh yeah, put some cocoa chips in them next time. You know,
like the ones you made the other day.”
“Okay, okay. Next time then.”
“Yay.”

Afterwards, my sister satisfies herself by snacking a few more scones before

going to the living room to watch the TV. I’ve finished eating my share as well,
so I proceed to wash the cooking utensils and plates that I used. Although I like
baking sweets, I don’t really like having to clean up afterwards.

Usually, I would get Mom to help. But it seems that she’s coming home late
today, so that option is out. I turn off the faucet, and I line up the utensils and
plates on the rack, signifying the end of the chore. When I’m wiping my hands
with a towel, Saki appears with a cell phone in her hand.

“You got a call earlier. From her…”

“…Who?”

I receive my cell phone and check the incoming call history. It seems it was
Rumi.

“Aah, it’s from Rumi…”

“Hrm…”

Saki looks as if there’s something she wants to say. But in the end, she doesn’t
say anything to me. I return to my room before operating my cell phone to give
Rumi a call. After a few rings, the call finally connects.

“[Yeees?]”
“Ah, hello, Rumi-san?”
“[Hmm~? I can hear Hinata-chan’s voice~]”

That awfully cheerful, mushy, and lisping voice… Don’t tell me.

“Are you drunk?”

“[Eeh~ I can’t hear you~! One more time~!]”
“…I’ll take that as a yes.”

I can’t imagine her speaking like this if she were sober. Rather, it’s as if her mind
has regressed to that of a child. I remember her speaking like that a long time ago
when she was younger.

“I saw your miscall, so I was wondering if you need me for anything…”

“[Hmm~ It’s nothing~ I just wanted to call you~ Ehehe.]”
“You sound so drunk. Are you okay? Are you by yourself right now?”
“[Earlier~ I was drinking with my friends, but I’m alone now~ I feel soooo
lonely~]”

Bam, bam! I can hear her striking something from the speaker. Seriously, what is
she doing? I’m getting worried. So Rumi isn’t a strong drinker… Either that, or
she kept drinking until she got into a drunken frenzy.
“Where are you right now?”

I’m worried to leave her alone in her condition, so I decide to go and fetch her.
She said that she had been drinking with her friends. They’re so horrible to go
home by themselves and leave her like that. It’s already dark outside, who
knows what may happen.

“[Hmm~ Where am I~?]”

“I have no idea how to answer that.”
“[Ah, I remember~! I aaalways played in this park with my Onee-chan!]”

“Aah…… what are you doing over there…? Anyway, I’m coming for you, so
stay put, okay?”

I tell Saki that I’m going out. I leave home and increase my pace as I head
towards the park that Rumi mentioned. There’s no telling what can happen to
her if I make her for a long time while she’s drunk. I keep talking with Rumi on
the phone to prevent her from sleeping.

While pressing my cell phone to my ear, I can hear her talking so cheerfully.

“[You know~ Our principal was changed this semester. The new guy’s a baldie,
and he’s sooo scary.]”
“I-I see. But you can’t mention about your new principal’s hair to others, okay? I
feel sorry about him.”
“[And that middle-aged vice principal is soo fussy! She always goes yadda
yadda yadda! She’s keeping an eye on me just because I’m still young!]”
“Rumi is cute, after all—”
“Ehehe.”

I wonder if she’s been getting stressed out at work as she keeps letting out more
complaints and grumbles. She told me before that she enjoyed her job, but I
guess it’s not all fun and games. Although, since she said that she had been glad
to become a teacher, I think she doesn’t think of them as anything serious. From
what I can tell, she’s using the alcohol as a leverage to release her all her pent-up
stress.

“[Haa~ Working is hard~]”

“But even so, you enjoy it, right?”
“[Mm!]”

She gives an energetic reply right away. I’m relieved to know that matter what
kind of hardship she may face, she’ll never say she hates being a teacher.

“I’m almost there.”

“[Really~?]”

The public park is close to my home, and I’m running all the way here while
talking with Rumi. So by the time I noticed, I’ve already arrived. I look around as
I enter the park, and I spot her sitting on a bench.

There is a slight dent on the signboard near her…… I’ll just pretend I didn’t see
that.

“I’m here.”
“Ah! It’s Hinata-chan~!”

I hang up the call and put my cell phone back in my pocket. As I run over to
Rumi, her eyes gleam and she hugs me.

“Owawawa?!”
“Hinata-chan, huuug!”
“Wow, you smell like alcohol.”

She hugs me tightly while leaning her face on my shoulder. I have no idea how
much she’s been drinking, but the smell of alcohol is deeply ingrained in her
clothes.

“You’re so soft and warm—”

“…Good for you.”
I can’t move around since she’s hugging me like a girl would her favorite
plushie. I’m sure she won’t listen even if I tell her to let go, so I have no other
choice but to leave her be for a while. Besides, when I look at her blissful face, I
think being hugged like this is just fine.

“Haah~ This is really calming~”

I can’t calm down in this posture, though. It hurts somewhat.

“And you smell good~”

She’s starting to sound like an old man… I should tell her to drink in moderation
next time.

“Hinata-chan—”
“There, there.”

She shoves her head against my body to fawn on me, so I pat her gently. Both of
our appearances have changed, but I feel as if we have returned to that time for
this moment. It really brings me back. I thought that she had become a reliable
girl, but I suppose she is still a spoiled child by nature.

“Mm, Onee-chan……”
“………

I wonder if Rumi is reminiscing the past like me. True, in the former times, she
called me ‘Onee-chan’ instead of the more formal ‘Nee-san’ later on. Maybe she
can’t distinguish dream and reality right now. With how drunk she is, she’s
bound to forget everything by the time she wakes up in the morning.

“Onee-chan… why… did you leave me?”

Rumi shed tears without sound, while I keep patting her head silently. It had
always been my role to console this little crybaby.

“I’m sorry… I really am.”

I say those words in a whisper. Who knows if she can hear it since I’m speaking
in such a faint voice.

The only thing I can do is to apologize. When I departed from this world, Rumi
was still a small child. Faced by the death of someone so close to her must have
been a great shock to her. After causing her so much grief, I still dare to stay with
her in secret like this. I’m such a coward.

I’m sorry for being so selfish. I’m sorry for giving you painful memories, for
making you feel lonely.

I had wanted to stay with Rumi as her sister if I could. I want to tell her about
[me], but I don’t have the courage to tell her that “I’m the reincarnation of her
sister”, not when she’s learned to grow apart from me. I’m afraid that I might
end up breaking her effort for the past 16 years… But no matter how many
excuses I try to pile up, it only shows my own cowardice.

“Rumi… you did great.”

She lost the sister that she had always relied on. But even so, she kept doing her
best, enduring many hardships all this time. I don’t know what she ended up
thinking when I died, or how she spent the days afterward. But, the more I see
the reliable self that she has become, the more I believe that she’s been giving her
all as she lives on.

You no longer need your elder sister, you’ve become able to walk on your own
now, my sister. But even so… you never forget about me… my precious little
sister.

“Thank you.”

Thank you for still thinking about me, for calling me.
“Even though Sekiguchi Tsubaki is no longer of this world… I will keep
watching over you. I may have been reincarnated… but I’ll always be your Onee-
chan, Rumi.”

“Hmm…”

I wipe away the tears that are gathering around her eyes. Maybe she’s tired after
crying her eyes out, she’s now sleeping while letting out cute breathings. I
thought of letting her sleep like this, but she’ll end up catching a cold.

“Rumi, wake up.”

“Mnya… I love you… Onee… cha… huu.”
“………”

She doesn’t wake up no matter how I call out to her and shake her body to and
fro. Unlike the past, carrying a grown-up Rumi to her home would be a
Herculean task. After all, I’m shorter and (maybe) lighter than her.

“There’s no helping it.”

I consider hailing a taxi, but I decide against it. I’ll just give her a piggyback since
my home is closer. I’m sure with my stamina, it will be just fine. I somehow carry
the sleeping Rumi on my back, and staggeringly bring her home.
＊

The first thing I do when I reach home, is to ask Saki to help carry Rumi to my
room and lay her on the bed. Since she doesn’t seem to be waking up anytime
soon, I gently cover her with the blanket and quietly leave the room.

I head to the living room, and I see Saki eating a rice cracker with one hand and
tea with the other while watching the TV. She’s acting like someone’s wife who
has too much time on her hands. When I enter, she just turns her neck to look at
me.

“So, what’s with that drunkard?”

“Hey… you know that you’re supposed to be showing some appreciation for all
the care she’s given to you…”
“Hmph!”

Saki seems to be in a bad mood as she ignores me and directs her attention back
to the TV.

“Why are you in a bad mood?”

“No, I’m not.”
“Haah… Isn’t Mom home yet?”
“She called earlier, saying that she’ll be staying out today.”
“I see.”

I sit down and start watching the TV, too. It’s currently showing a comedian
frantically running away from a lion. I’m pretty sure that the lion has been
tamed. But, with the performer running away like he’s holding to dear life, it’s
making me doubt if it’s actually safe. The supposedly comical scene feels like a
horror flick to me instead.
After watching the TV together with Saki for a while, I’m starting to feel sleepy,
so I return to my own room.

Rattle rattle
“Hm?”
“Huh?”

I can hear sounds from my room, so I hurry and go in. Rumi has fallen from the
bed and is now holding her head. It seems that she’s still not quite awake after
falling from bed.

“A-are you okay?!”

“Mm, I’m alright.”

She’s smiling as if everything’s normal, except that there are tears around her
eyes. It’s clear as day that she’s lying. Rumi tries to stand, but she can’t seem to
be managing by herself since she hasn’t completely sobered up. I lend her a
shoulder and help her sit on the bed.

“I’m sorry for the trouble… Ow.”

She’s pressing the side of her head. Maybe she bumped into something earlier
when she fell.

“I’ll bring some ice.”

“Ah, it’s okay. It’s not a bump. My head hurts because I drank too much.”
“Then I’ll bring some water–“
“Mm-mm, I’m okay. More importantly…”

I restlessly take my seat, and I see her serious expression as she stares at me. Her
cheeks seem to be flushed a bit. She still looks tipsy to some extent, but at least
she’s not in a drunken frenzy anymore.

“I’m sorry… for the trouble.”

“Mm-mm, don’t worry about it.”
“………”
“Rumi-san?”
I guess she’s still under the influence of alcohol? Rumi just stares at me without
giving me any response. When I wave my hand over her face, and she suddenly
opens her eyes wide, seemingly having realized something. Afterward, she
seems to be disoriented, as her eyes keep darting everywhere across the room.

“Um, are you okay?”

“Y-yes.”

After behaving suspiciously, she takes a deep breath to finally calm herself. Then
she makes a face like she wants to say something. She opens her mouth, closes it,
opens it again for several times until she finally says out the words.

“U-um… say…”
“Yup?”
“Hinata… chan…”
“Yup.”

I wait to hear the words that she wants to say, but she stands up without
completing her sentence.

“A-actually… Never mind!!”

“Eh?”

With that, she launches herself out of the room and noisily leave the house. As
for me, I’m bewildered by the unexpected turn of events. Instead of chasing after
her, I only stiffen up in place with my mouth hanging open… Um, did I do
something bad to her?

While I’m thinking of the possible reason why Rumi left as though she was
running away from me, my sister enters my room. She has an amazed look on
her face.

“Hey, Onee-chan. What did you do to Sensei to make her leave so hurriedly?”
“No, nothing particularly comes to mind.”
“Eeh~? Are you sure~?”
“Yeah, totally.”

I didn’t say anything weird to her when she wakes up, and I don’t think I did
anything to her. Ah, maybe she was embarrassed because I saw her while she
was drunk. I will get embarrassed, too, if someone younger sees me while I’m
drunk and defenseless. Yup, that should be it.

“Hm? This wallet… Isn’t it Sensei’s?”

“Ah.”

Saki picks up a wallet that’s lying next to the bed on the floor and passes it to me.

“There is a fare card inside among other things. Won’t Sensei be in trouble
tomorrow?”
“Mm… I guess you’re right. I’ll give it back to her.”

I think I can catch up with her if I leave now. Although my objective is to return
her wallet, I’m actually worried to let Rumi go home by herself when she’s still
drunk.

“Then, I’m going.”

“Ah, stop right there!”
“?”

Saki calls out to me just when I’m about to leave.

“I’ve been wanting to ask all this time. Onee-chan, have you known Sensei
before?”
“……eh?”
“It’s not just Sensei. I mean, Hiori-san and Tsubaki-san, too.”
“…W-what are you talking about? I met them after we moved in.”

My face stiffens up at her sudden question. My voice starts to tremble because of

my agitation.

“Mm, I see. You know— I was curious about something.”

“What is it…”

Saki seems to be hesitating, and she looks away from me before muttering in
discontent.
“After we come to this town, it just happens sometimes, but… Onee-chan, you
look like [a stranger] to me.”
“…………”
“Especially when you’re talking with Hiori-san. That’s why somehow… you
know, it makes me feel anxious somehow.”

She clenches her fist as she reveals her feelings. When I take a closer look, I notice
that her small shoulders are trembling.

“Saki…?”

“I-I don’t get it! Recently, whenever I see Onee-chan speaking with Sensei, I feel
uneasy! Somehow, I don’t get why myself… but it’s like someone else is trying to
snatch something away from me! I feel irritated!”

Have I ever seen my sister making such an earnest and desperate face as she tries
to appeal to my attention?

After saying things like, “I don’t get what’s going on with myself!! I really don’t
get it!! You idiot!” she still snaps at me in the end. Perhaps because she keeps on
talking without pause, her face is now beet red as she gasps for air.

“…Saki.”
“What?!”

I gently place my hand on Saki’s head. Even now, she looks as if she’s going to
bite me. When I slowly pat her head, she’s still pouting, but she doesn’t brush
my hand away. My sister remains quiet as she lets me continue patting her, it
makes my heart feel warm.

“Saki, no matter what happens, you’re my sister. That will never change.”
I pack all my feelings as I say those words. Saki’s small shoulders twitch when
she hears it.

“…Hmph! That’s a matter of course!”

“Yup.”

My younger sister pouts as she gives a snort. She’s so darling that way.

She always acts as if she doesn’t care, so I didn’t think that she would suspect me
like that. That’s why, even though I feel bad for her, her words earlier actually
made me happy. It makes me happy, so happy that I think my face will turn into
a smile if I lose focus. However, I strain myself to prevent her from noticing.

“Aah, geez! Forget it! Go after Sensei already.”

“Okay, okay.”

It seems that she’s getting embarrassed. She keeps pushing me and prompt me to
leave.

“I’ll be back soon.”

“Who cares.”

Ooh, I wonder where her meek self has gone. My pompous sister has returned to
her usual self who likes to hurl her insults. Well, even THE thick-headed me
would notice that it’s just her way to hide her embarrassment. I’ve been her sister
ever since she was born, so of course I can tell that much.

“…Why are you grinning like that?”

“Nghh— I’m just thinking that my sister is the cutest in the world.”
“…Siscon… There’s a siscon right in front of me…… urp.”

She frowns and says ‘gross’ a few times, looking creeped out. Um, this is also her
way to hide her embarrassment… right?
In the end, I’m not sure anymore.
 The Happiness Written on Her Palm ＊3

The sun has submerged into the horizon, and here I am, walking alone in the
night street.

“Maybe she’s already home.”

I talked with Saki for quite a long time, so it’s gotten late by the time I left. I had
run all the way here, I didn’t see her on the way, even though her house is
already nearby.

“…I guess I just have to deliver it to her house.”

To tell the truth, I’ve been avoiding that place. If I come to visit at this hour, Dad
and Mom are bound to be home. It’s not that I don’t want to go, but there’s this
complex feeling in my chest. It’s like something is telling me to stop. I thought I
had sorted out my feelings, but I guess it’s a matter that can’t be solved so
simply. It’s frustrating how I can’t control my own emotions. It’s really
bothersome to deal with.

Even so, I can’t just pull back here. After all, I have to return her wallet.

“Alright.”

I clench my hands to encourage myself, and I resume walking towards the

familiar house where I once lived. It’s already close by, yet it feels so far away.
Time seems to be moving slowly as I walk. What should I say if Mom answers
the intercom when I ring the bell… What kind of face should I make? All these
questions fill my head.
It should’ve been only a few minutes, but it feels as if an hour has already
passed. My heart is pounding like crazy, and I feel a scraping pain in my
stomach… There’s no way I can manage to speak properly like this.

However, my former house is getting closer and closer. In fact, it’s just around
the corner. I clench my hands again, which are sweaty due to my nervousness. I
swallow the spit that is collecting in my mouth as I walk onward.

I just have to turn around the next corner, and I will arrive. But, suddenly…

‘Hh!!’

“…?”

I can hear a muffled voice. It’s like someone is trying to shout, only to result in a
small yelp. It sounds as though someone is in trouble and is asking for help, and
it alarms me greatly. But, I can’t see anyone around. I wonder if it’s just my
anxious mind playing tricks on me, so I decide to pay it no mind. However…

‘Help——’

“?!”

This time, I’m sure I heard it. It’s not just my imagination. Someone’s really
asking for help.

I immediately head to the direction where I heard the voice, but my feet abruptly
stop in their tracks.

[Although it makes me happy that you were there to protect me, you can’t be
putting yourself in harm’s way. Please.]
“………”

What Rumi said to me, as well as her desperate face, flashes in my mind. At that
time, she must have been thinking about her sister, about [me] who died because
I acted recklessly.

“…hh.”

I have to go, but my body isn’t moving, as if shackled by the past. If my careless
actions wind up like ‘that time’——my legs freeze upon the fear that I might
repeat what can’t be undone. I’m scared that I might lose everything again, I’m
afraid that I might make everyone sad again.

But, it doesn’t mean that I can just ignore someone in need.

(It seems that I’ve grown timid……)

The past me would have jumped in without thinking. After losing my life once, it
seems that I’ve grown more collected and prudent in these 16 years. As if in
exchange, I’ve lost some of my recklessness. I wonder if this is what becoming an
adult means.

If I steer away from trouble, no harm will befall me… But, doesn’t it mean that
I’m sacrificing someone else for my own safety? It agonizes me. I know, I’m
stupid like that. I understand that my decision isn’t commendable in any way. In
the end, even though I’m aware that the past may repeat itself, I…

(I guess it’s in my nature not to look the other way when someone is in trouble.)
I don’t want to regret not doing anything. If I don’t make it in time just because
I’m hesitating over it… I’d be anguished.

I focus on what I should be doing, and I make a run towards where I heard the
voice from. After retracing my steps for a few meters, I enter a narrow path that I
passed by earlier. I can see some silhouette. What comes into view is a muscular
man who is seizing a petite girl’s hand. I dash towards them without hesitation.

When I see the man waving something in his other hand towards the girl,
without thinking, I jump in and catch it with my hand. I manage to stop him
before it reaches her body. I’ve arrived in the nick of time.

“Wha…?!”

“ah…”

“……hh”

Drip, drip. Red droplets fall from my hand to the ground. Before they can grasp
the present situation, I use my other hand to snatch the folding knife away from
the man. Then, I pull the girl and draw some distance from him while he’s still
stupefied. I didn’t draw any plans back there, but I guess it went out well.
“Hah… I think… I did it?”

I breathe a sigh to expel my tension. But when I take a look at the girl next to me,
my eyes open wide as I hear her say…
“W-what… are you… doing here…?”

“That’s my line, Ms. Stalker.”

Right, I’ve met her before. The person I just saved is the girl who had been
stalking Rumi-san.

What is she doing here when it’s already evening? …Well, it’s easy to deduce
that she’s stalking Rumi again. This girl… Even though Rumi had clearly rejected
her, it seems that she hasn’t given up. Err, what was her name again? Something-
something Shima-san?

“Ah!! He’s running away!”

“Hh!”

The man took off in a hurry while we’re having our conversation. I might be able
to catch him if I chase after him right away, but…

“Y-you’re letting him go?”

“…Mhm.”

There’s no way I can leave a girl alone when she’s looking so pale and pitiful.
Her body is still trembling in fear. As long as she’s safe, it’s enough. I should
leave the rest to the police. After I hand over this knife and describe the pervert’s
traits, I think their investigation will proceed more smoothly.

“Are you okay?”

“Y-yes… Wait, I’m supposed to be the one asking! Your right hand is dripping
blood!!”
“Eh? Aah— you’re right.”

I didn’t notice, my hand only starts to hurt after she points it out. I’ve completely
forgotten about the cut that I received when I was protecting her. I take a good
look at my hand that has been dyed red with my own blood. The area that was
pierced by the knife looks gruesome, I think I don’t want to look at it too much. It
seems that the cut is quite deep, since blood is still flowing from it. I think it’s
quite bad.
“A-anyway, the hospital! Aah, the first aid… W-we need to contact the police,
too!”
“Now, now, calm down.”
“Actually, how can you be so calm?!”

She takes out a handkerchief from her pocket and bind it tightly around my
hand. Absorbing my blood, her handkerchief immediately turns red. I feel that
one piece of cloth isn’t enough, so I take my own handkerchief and wrap it
around hers just to be doubly sure.

“Why did you go to such length for me… You even got yourself injured… I can’t
remember ever doing any good things to you.”
“But I couldn’t just ignore you.”
“Y-you and I barely know each other! Actually, we’re enemies, you know?!
Enemies! It’s strange that you would put yourself in harm’s way just to save
me!”
“Hmm— I guess I don’t really have a good impression of you.”
“Right?! Why did you help me, then?! Are you stupid?!”

Well, she’s been troubling Rumi because of her stalking, not to mention that she
did nothing but insult me the other day. I think it’s safe to say that I had the
worst first impression of her. It’d be difficult for me to act buddy buddy with her
if someone asks me to.

“W-why… why would you protect with your own body? You must have a screw
loose somewhere.”

What a heartless thing to say to the person who just rescued her. I even got hurt
in the process. But I didn’t save her to make her feel grateful to me or anything.
In the first place, I don’t really care about her opinion of me.

“If you got hurt, Rumi will be sad.”

“………What’s with that reasoning?”

Although, Rumi will be sad if I got hurt, too.

That’s why, I saved her for nothing but my self-satisfaction. I didn’t do it for her
sake, but for my own. I just didn’t want to see Rumi sad.

“Do you think that man is the pervert that was seen loitering around here
recently?”
“He probably is. That man… he just hugged me from behind… I was really
startled.”

Maybe I’m making her recall that awful experience, she shudders while hugging
herself.

“Since I was making a ruckus, apparently he wanted to quiet me down by taking

out that knife…”
“Anyway, thank goodness you’re alright.”
“Yes, indeed… or not!! You’re not alright at all! We’re going to the hospital!”
“Gyaa! Don’t pull my right hand! It huuuuuuuurts—!!”
“Ah, s-sorry.”

She lets go right away, looking apologetic… She may have a foul tongue, but
could she actually be a good girl? She’s a stalker, though.

“Oh yeah, I want you to keep the fact that I got hurt a secret from Rumi.”

She warned me to stop doing dangerous things the other day. I think she’ll get
angry if she knows about this.

“……Sure.”
“Thanks.”
“So, what is your relationship with Sensei?”

She’s giving me an intense glare.

“I think I already told you the other day, though… Let’s see, Ms. Stalker, at least
it isn’t a relationship that you need to worry about. I only think of Rumi as my
little sister.”
“H-haah? Your little… sister? Eh? Are you doing that kind of fetish play? Are
you a pervert?”
“A stalker just called me a pervert!!”

You’re the pervert here! You’re a stalker, too! Why are you looking at me like I’m
making you feel disgusted?!

“I knew it. You’re my enemy, and Sensei’s, too… In fact, you’re the enemy of the
whole mankind.”
“What did I even do?!”

Why is she acting like I’m guilty of felony?! I never did anything bad!

“Aah, I forgot to mention something.”

“?”

She’s looking behind me.

“Sensei is right behind you.”

“…Huh?”

When I timidly turn around, I can see Rumi, who’s on the verge of crying while
standing imposingly right behind me. W-what’s this pressure that I’m feeling…?

The atmosphere around us feels heavy, as though I’m going to be sent to the
gallows in a moment’s notice. I really didn’t expect that Rumi would be here,
since I thought that she’d already reached home. Ms. Stalker! Why didn’t you tell
me earlier?!

“Oops…”

I nonchalantly hide my right hand behind my back. But judging from her sharp
glare, I guess Rumi already noticed.
“Your hand…”
“Err, you know, I fell down over nothing earlier! There was a nail sticking out,
and I was so unlucky to have my right hand pierced like that!”
“I was attacked by a pervert. Then, this person decided to save me on her own,
and got herself injured, also on her own.”

She told her the truth so easily, with a straight face even! Hey… I thought you
promised to keep it to yourself. Rumi is casting her eyes downward, so I can’t see
her expression. I prepare my heart for some scolding. Although, Rumi turns to
look at Ms. Stalker instead of me.

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you anywhere?”

“I-I’m all okay.”
“…Thank goodness, you’re safe.”
“Thank you very much… for your concern.”

Although she showed a cold attitude towards me earlier, she’s now answering
meekly while blushing.

“I’ll listen to the details tomorrow, but for now, let me send you home. I’m
worried about you, and I have to bring this up to your parents, too… And
Hinata… -chan, come with us. There’s a hospital along the way.”
“…Mm.”

The way Rumi talks so indifferently feels anti-climatic. You know, I was
expecting her to act more worried, or angry. It feels as though she just pulled the
wool over my eyes.

“Hinata-chan?”
“Ah, sorry.”

The two have started walking while I’m in a daze. They’ve already put some
distance from me. Ms. Stalker walks up to me and stares at my injured hand.

“Is your hand hurting?”

“It’s not that. I’m okay, I was just thinking about something.”

It seems she thought that I can’t walk because my hand hurts. When I smile to
her to show that I’m okay, she looks relieved somewhat.
“Alright then, let’s go, Ms. Stalker!”
“Hey, stop calling me that. I have a proper name, which is Shimazaki Yuka.”
“Okay, okay. Then, Shimazaki-san, call me ‘Hinata’ instead of using ‘hey’ or
something like that.”
“Haah? Why do I have to follow what you say?”
“Eeh—”
“…Come on, you two, hurry up.”

“”Okay—””.

Shimazaki-san and I keep glaring at each other as we walk up to Rumi.

“Thank you very much for your help.”

I thank the doctor before leaving the examination room. I look at my right hand,
which is now swathed in bandages. It looks comical, which makes me chuckle a
bit. No, this isn’t a laughing matter. The doctor told me that it’s going to take two
weeks to heal completely. Since I can’t use my dominant hand, many tasks will
become a hassle to do. I’ll have to eat, take a bath, change clothes, and do many
other things with just one hand.

(What a bother.)

On the other hand, I’m glad this is all that I have to bear. Going through these
two weeks will be troublesome, but everything will turn back to normal
afterwards. How could I face everyone if I contracted some serious illness… Or if
I lost my life?
“Rumi-san.”
“Ah…”

I head to the lobby after finishing up with the receptionist. There, I find Rumi
waiting for me on one of the seats. She went to escort Shimazaki-san home while
I was receiving my treatment. It seems that she’s waiting by herself.

She gets up as soon as she notices me and rushes over.

“The doctor said two weeks until it completely heals. It’s not a big deal, and it
won’t leave a scar, either.”
“I see… Thank goodness.”

She smiles weakly as she hears my report. Although she’s being oddly quiet, I
keep recounting everything that the doctor told me earlier.

“Let’s go home, then.”

“Yup.”

I told Saki by phone that I would be late. But, I should hurry home before she
starts to get worried.

The two of us leave the hospital and walk in the quiet residential area. It doesn’t
seem to be the mood to talk about cheerful things. I can’t get a good timing to
start a topic, either. The awkward silence goes on. It makes me feel depressed
when I think that no one’s going to say anything until I reach home. I glance at
Rumi’s face. It’s dim, so I can’t really see her expression. Although, I can tell that
she’s facing the front. I wonder what she’s thinking about.

Perhaps noticing my gaze, Rumi looks at me without turning her head.

“Ah, Rumi-san.”

I search my pocket for her wallet.

“I totally forgot about this. I was on my way to your house to return your
wallet.”

She takes her wallet in her hand and stares at it. Then suddenly, her beautiful
face goes into a frown.

“So… this happened… because I forgot my wallet. If only I didn’t forget, Hinata-
chan wouldn’t…”
“? Rumi-san… why are you making that kind of face? I’m the one who wanted to
return it to you right away. You have nothing to do with what happened to me.”
“But if I had properly checked for my belongings, there would be no reason for
Hinata-chan to be in that area. There’s no doubt I was the root of the cause.”

Why are people around me always blaming themselves for everything? Well… I
guess it’s because they’re too earnest and kind.

“But Rumi-san, it’s because you forgot your wallet, and I went to return it that I
could save Shimazaki-san, you know.”

If I wasn’t there, who knows what would happen to Shimazaki-san. Perhaps she
could have escaped on her own, but the contrary also holds true. The worst case
might have happened.

But, she’s safe and well. In the end, isn’t that fine?

“Yup, everything turned out alright.”

“No, it didn’t!”
“Hh!”

Rumi’s agonizing scream reverberates around the area. Sorrow, anger, various
emotions are showing clearly in her expression. I feel hurt just by watching her
lash out.

“It’s… not alright! You’re hurt pretty bad, aren’t you…”

“No, it’s not as awful as it looks. It’s just a light cut, nothing you need to be
worried sick about…”

I talk in a light tone, while wearing a vague smile. However, Rumi draws closer
to me with a demon-like face. She looks so scary that I gulp my saliva without
thinking.

“Of course I’d be worried about you! Nee-san, you never care about yourself!!
Why do you always put someone else… before your own safety?!”

“Eh, ah, sorry.”

I’m taken aback by her coercive attitude.

“Fortunately, you only got injured this time! But what if your actions killed you
‘again’?!”
“Well, you don’t need to remind me, I already know the risks that I’m taking. But
still, I couldn’t just ignore her…”
“I know all that! But, I just have to say it to you clearly!!”
“I-I’m sorry, okay? …Huh?”

I notice something was odd, and my thought stops entirely.

…
……
…………
Err…

“Um, Rumi-san? Could it be that… you noticed?”

“……About what? [Nee-san].”

“………”

It’s not at the level where she’s doubting herself anymore. Rumi made herself
clear.

She knows that I was once Sekiguchi Tsubaki.

How did she know?

Since when?

I’m completely at a loss of words. I can only open and close my mouth like an
idiot. Rumi frowns at me and heaves a sigh.

“Your personalities, the things you like, the things you hate, your habits……
Hinata-chan, everything about you is terrifyingly identical to Nee-san. Although,
I thought it was just a coincidence. I mean, you have different names, and you
totally look different. Besides, Nee-san died 16 years ago, so there’s no way that
she could still be here in this world. But… the more I think about it, it’s weird
how Hinata-chan knows about things that only Nee-san would know.”

“………”

“Even so, I didn’t understand. After all, there’s no way Hinata-chan could be
Nee-san. But, how else can I explain the striking similarity between you two? I
kept thinking about it, until today… until Hinata-chan came to fetch me as my
[Nee-san]… You came… as the Nee-san that I always… know…”

Tears gather around her eyes, and sobs start to mix in her sentences.

“I thought I was just seeing things because I was drunk… I thought I was seeing
a dream. But…”
She completes her sentence with, ‘I was awake, and I remembered everything,
even though I was drunk at the time.’ I wait for her to calm down, and she
continues.

“You told me that you would watch over me. You told me that you might have
reincarnated… but you would always be my elder sister.”

“…ah.”

“Of course I would notice from that. Even though it’s unbelievable, I can’t help
but wanting to believe that it’s true.”

Rumi smiles bashfully.

I didn’t think that she would remember everything that happened when she was
drunk. Not to mention that she was actually awake when I thought she had
fallen asleep. Well, I guess anyone would notice if they heard that kind of
confession from the person herself.

“Anyway, I’ve got to know that Hinata-chan is Nee-chan. But because of it, I had
no idea how to face you. I was confused.”

So that’s why she was acting weird when she waked up in my room. She already
knew the truth, but she hasn’t sorted out her feelings yet. And so, she left in a
fluster.

“I didn’t go home right away… I took a detour to clear my head. When I was
close to home, I found both of you, but you were hurt.”
“I’m sorry… for keeping it from you.”

I don’t know what I should be saying to Rumi, and what comes out of my mouth
is a somewhat cliched apology.

“…I heard that Nee-san didn’t want us to know the truth.”

“Eh?”
“Um, when I was on my way home, I called Hiori-san and consulted about you.”
“……”
“Then, Hiori-san said that she already knew. Although, when I think about it,
Hiori-san must have gained her smile thanks to Nee-san’s help.”

“What did Hiori say to you?”

“She said, ‘That girl thinks that you’d be happier not knowing about her, but
Rumi-chan, I believe that you have the right to know.’ She told me about many
things.”

She looks a bit lonely, and she wipes her tears with her finger.

“Nee-san.”
“Yup.”
“You’re Nee-san, right?”
“…Biologically speaking, I’m not your sister anymore. But to me… Rumi will
always be my precious little sister.”
“Mm… I see. That’s… fine. If Nee-san is alive and well, everything’s just fine.”
“…Thanks. And, I’m really sorry.”

I’m sorry for keeping quiet about it, for making you sad. I may have broken your
heart again. I don’t regret what I did, but when I think about the people who are
worried about me, it agon izes me.

“Nee-san… be more selfish, will you?”

“I think I’ve been living pretty selfishly, you know?”
“……Your personality never changed.”

She squints her eyes as though she’s looking at something bright, and she gives
me a gentle smile. I look at Rumi, doing the same as her.

“Rumi has grown big. It’s not just your outer appearance, you’ve grown mature
in character, too.”
“…Nee-san.”

I look up to my little sister who’s grown taller than me. Then, I reach my hand.
It’s a bit difficult with our heights, but I ruffle her hair a few times. After I finish
patting her head, she says to me.
“Don’t do dangerous things anymore. I’d hate it if you have to leave me again…
I’m sure Tsubaki-chan, your new family, and Hiori-san will be sad, too.”
“…It’s okay. I’m a greedy person, after all. I’ll extend my life for even a second
longer so that I can live a long life, this time for sure.”

After all, I’ve got to know first hand that if I die, I’d trouble everyone, too,
painfully so.

“‘Onee-chan’, give me your hand.”

“O-okay?”

I reach out my left hand as she told me. Then, Rumi starts writing some words
on my palm. I’m curious to know what she’s writing, but she scolds me, saying
not to peek. I have no choice but to wait in patient.

“It’s done. Go ahead, Onee-chan, swallow it.”

“Got it—”

Although there’s nothing on my palm, I put the invisible words in my mouth

and swallow it. Of course, there’s no taste, nor texture of anything.

After all, this is a charm.

It’s a charm just for the two of us.

“So, what did you write?”

From the sensation that I felt from my palm, she wrote two kanji, but I can’t tell
the exact words. Rumi makes a face like she’s playing a trick on me, and she
smiles cheerfully. It seems that she has no intention telling me.
“It’s what Nee-san has given me lots.”

“?”

“Fufu.”

I can only tilt my head to the side, which seems to make Rumi chuckle. It feels
ticklish for some reason.

I was nervous when she said that she knew. But when I see her looking so
happy, maybe I shouldn’t have kept it hidden from her. I was afraid all this time
that she would eventually notice. Although, now I’m feeling dumb to see her
accepting it as a fact so easily. I guess… I had been thinking too much.

“But really, I still can’t believe that Hinata-chan is the reincarnation of my sister.”

She stares at me from head to toe, like she’s trying to eye me up. I feel awkward.
She can look all she wants, but I haven’t changed recently. Is there even any
meaning to this?

“Nee-san, you’re shorter than me.”

“…Ugh, well, duh. I’m many years younger than you.”
“It was the other way around in the past.”

I remember that I was taller than Rumi in the past. But now, people are bound to
say that Rumi is the elder one, which makes me her little sister. Hrm… it can’t be
helped, but I still find it quite vexing.

“Either way, what do our appearances matter? Regardless of what everyone

thinks, to me, Hinata-chan is my Nee-san.”
“Rumi…”

She recognizes me as her sister, and she even calls me so. I feel so happy that
tears might start flowing anytime. Even though she has grieved over my death in
the past 16 years, she doesn’t condemn me for living my own life. She simply
accepts me for who I am… I feel really blessed to live with people who care so
much about me.
“Um, you know.”
“What is it?”
“People will look at us strange, so I’ll call you Hinata-chan like usual… but when
it’s just the two of us, can I call you Nee-san instead?”
“Well, of course you can.”
“Although you’re my Nee-san, you’re also Hinata-chan… After all, you have
Saki-chan, your own sister.”
“I think of both Saki and Rumi as my precious sisters.”
“Mm… Thanks, Nee-san.”

With her cheeks tinged red, she smiles. But I’m sure the same goes to me.

“I-I should be getting you home before Saki-chan gets worried about you.”
“You’re right. We’ve got to hurry, then.”

We start walking again to dispel the awkward air around us.

Now that I think about it… it’s become so late. Despite what Saki had said, I’m
sure she’s still awake, waiting for me. Then she’ll throw some abusive words as
soon as she sees me, no doubt. She’s selfish, cheeky, and not honest with herself.
But deep inside, she’s a really kind girl.

“Say, Nee-san.”
“Hm?”

It’s just a few minutes more to home, when Rumi suddenly comes to a stop. And
so I stop in my track as well. I wonder what it is about, but Rumi only gazes at
me in silence for a while. Then, she slowly takes a deep breath, and I’m
astonished by the expression that she shows me next.

She shows me a beaming smile, like she always did in the past, one so dazzling
that I can see flowers blooming next to her.
“Nee-san, you know, you’re my Onee-chan that I’m proud of.”

After saying her piece, she looks satisfied and starts walking ahead cheerfully.
On the other hand, I can only stay in a daze with my mouth hung open.

…My vision gets blurred, but I’m sure I’m just imagining it. My parched throat,
is also my imagination, no doubt.

“Nee-saan?”

Rumi is calling for me. In the past, she would call me in a tearful voice. It was
troublesome because her mood would worsen the more I made her wait.

Many things have changed since that time. But, there are some that remain the
same.

So, I roughly wipe my eyes with my arm.

I have to go. After all, my sister is calling for me.

＊

The next day.

It’s the weekend, so I came to the Kurasaka’s to play, like usual. Although, as
soon as I arrive, Hiori catches me and brings me to her room. And now, I’m
sitting while facing the expressionless her. While Hiori sits on a chair, I choose to
sit with the tops of my feet flat on the floor and my back straight, out of my own
initiative. Her face looks the same as always, but I can clearly feel the anger that
she’s exuding with my skin.

S-so she already knew about what happened yesterday… Do Hiori and Rumi
hold an agreement to share everything they know about me or something? It’s
frightening how the news spread so fast.

“Hinata.”
“Yes.”

My body trembles just by hearing her call my name. Her voice is lower than
usual, which speaks for the state of her mind. Hiori is looking at me straight in
the eye, but I can only avert my eyes. She looks down slightly, and I anxiously
wait for her to speak.

“……You already know what I’m going to say, don’t you?”

“One way or another.”

She stares at my bandaged hand. Then, she looks exasperated as she heaves a
sigh.
“It’s your own life, so it’s your choice how to live it. It isn’t a matter which I have
a say in.”
“………”
“Calling you meddlesome would be an understatement… You’re viciously ill.
That disease of yours is incurable, and worse, it might just rob your life if you’re
unlucky.”

She waves her hand back and forth, as though implying that I’m a hopeless case.
Then, she sighs again.

“It appears that Rumi-chan has said pretty much everything that I want to tell
you, so I won’t be repeating it again…”

Even though she must have many other things that she want to say to me. She
could have blamed me, yelled at me, but she feigns her composure. She’s so
‘kind’ that it feels cruel.

Hiori stands up from her seat and squats down next to me. She matches my gaze,
and places her hand gently above my injured hand.

“I beg you, don’t leave me again…… You idiot.”

Her soft, hoarse voice… her desperation reverberates in my chest. It shakes my

heart more than I thought it would if she yells at me, curses at me, or even comes
to hate me…… I receive the brunt of her words and her sad expression.

“Sorry.”
Even though I’ve known that she’s afraid of death more than anything in this
world.

“Hiori, I’m sorry.”

Seeing her grieve like this hurts so much.

“…You don’t have to apologize, geez.”

When I’m hanging my hand shame, Hiori says it with a gentle voice. Then, she
cautiously rubs my bandaged hand.

“…Does it hurt?”
“Nope, not at all.”

Actually, it’s still stinging with pain. But, when I see Hiori’s sorrowful
expression, the pain got blown away somewhere. The wound from making her
sad feels many times more painful than this injury in my hand.

Knock, knock

I hear a somewhat reserved knock, and the door opens just a bit. I can see
someone through the gap in the door, it’s Tsubaki.

“Um, are you done talking?”

“What is it?”
“The meals are done, so I’m here to call for you.”
“I see. We’re pretty much done, we’ll be there soon.”
“Oh… um, please hurry, okay?”
“Yup. Thanks, Tsubaki. Sorry for not helping.”

Tsubaki smiles shyly, and softly shuts the door.

“…That girl was worried about you, Hinata.”
“Eh?”
“She must have thought that I would be scolding you harshly. That girl goes out
of her way to call for us because she wants to cut it short.”

I-I see. she came to save me from Hiori’s endless sermon. Hiori didn’t actually
scold me that much, but her token of sympathy alone makes me happy.

“Tsubaki is so kind— Ehehe.”

“Haah… Good grief. Tsubaki spoils you too much. She was really worried about
you, you know.”
“Ughh!”

I have no excuse, I feel so guilty. To my silence, Hiori gets up and approaches the
door. She places her hand on the doorknob and turns her face to me.

“I’m sure she’s prepared many of your favorite foods today.”

“Wow, I’m so looking forward to it~”

While I’m thinking about today’s menu, Hiori shows an astonished face, and
sighs for the nth time today. She’s intending to leave the room first, so I tell her
the words that I’ve forgotten to say earlier. This is quite embarrassing to say face
to face.

“I’ll always be with you.”

“Hh… idiot.”
Her reply is very much like her. Yet, she mutters in a really soft voice before
turning around and leaves hurriedly. Her ears were red, so she must have gotten
embarrassed. Her reaction is really different from her usual expression. I find it
cute, so cute that it burns my heart.

For a while after, I stay by myself in that room, smiling from ear to ear.
 Christmas Extra

It’s winter. The townscape is illuminated with colored light bulbs. The customary
Christmas song is playing in the background while the town is bustling with
families and merry couples. Yes, today is the Christmas Eve.

But, disregarding what day of the year it is, I shut myself in my room, seeking
warmth in the blanket. I’m sheltering my body that’s shivering due to the
freezing weather. Since it’s winter vacation, there’s no need for me to go to
school, or even go outside to that matter. In other words, I can sleep all I want.

In order to enjoy this long vacation to the fullest, I did all of my homework on
the first day. I’ve also finished the year-end cleaning early. That’s why, I can
sleep leisurely without anyone to bother me. Cheers to myself for being so
thorough.

“Ufufu, this is happiness.”

In addition, Mom and Saki have gone out today. Both of them are going to be
home late, so I don’t have to worry about anyone coming to wake me up. I’m
planning to make a Christmas cake tomorrow, but I’ll spend the eve doing
nothing but sleep. And so, to build my spirits for tomorrow, good nigh——

Ding dong
“…………”

The doorbell chimes just when I’m about to sleep.

No, I heard nothing. That was an illusion. Yes, an auditory illusion. I tell myself
that it was only my imagination before I pull the blanket up to my head and
concentrate on sleeping.

Ding dong
“…………”

Okay, I heard the chime. That’s certainly my doorbell ringing. Aah, geez! I
should’ve removed the battery from the intercom! It must be some newspaper
salesman anyway. It’s cold and bothersome, so I’ll just ignore them. No one
informed me that we’re expecting a parcel today, so I think that it shouldn’t be
the delivery guy (maybe). My friends would’ve called me beforehand if they
were coming to visit.

Yup. It’s been decided that no one’s home today~ so, good n——

Kerchack, kerchack
“Eh?”

I can hear the sound of the front door opening. This unforeseen development
blows all of my sleepiness away.

(…Could it be Mom or Saki?)

They could open the door easily, so they must have used a key to come in. Well,
we never gave any spare keys to anyone else… Here I thought both of them were
going to be out late. Well, maybe either Mom or Saki had a change of plans and
decided to come home earlier.

Footsteps draw closer to my room, and come to a stop right behind the door.
What’s this?

(There goes my plan to sleep and relax.)

Knock, knock. I heard the clear knocking sounds, but I’m not answering because
she’s worsened my mood. Then, the door opens. Mom wouldn’t bother to knock,
so the one who came home must be my sister. I poke my head out of the blanket
and peek towards the door.

“I knew it, Nee-san. You were sleeping.”

“Rumi?!”

I wasn’t wrong when I said that she’s my little sister. But, I didn’t expect her to
be the other little sister, the one who’s far older than me. Eh? How did she get a
key to this house?

“I met Emiko-san on my way here by chance. When I said that I needed

something from you, she told me that you wouldn’t leave your bed.”
“And so she gave you her key… You could’ve just called me.”
“Except that you turned off your cell phone, didn’t you?”

Ah, she’s right. I didn’t want anyone to disturb me while I’m off to the
dreamland. I forgot about that. When I try to laugh it off, she sighs as gives me
an amazed look.

“Anyway, Nee-san, why were you sleeping?”

“Because it’s winter vacation.”
“That’s not an answer, you know.”
“I want to sleep, and winter vacation means that I’m free to sleep around the
clock~”
“Haah… You never change…”

Rumi’s expression looks clouded. I feel that a scolding is impending if this topic
drags on, so I forcibly bring her attention elsewhere.

“Um, Rumi, what did you need from me again?”

“Aah, right… Haah, Nee-san will always be Nee-san…”
“Huh?”

She looks at me with pity, then she heaves a sigh. Eh? Why does it seem like
she’s utterly disappointed in me? Now I’m getting worried.

“You know that today is Christmas Eve, right?”

“Yeah.”
“Then, mind telling me what you’re planning to do for today?”
“Sleeping all day!”

“………”
“Eep!”

When I give her my honest answer, Rumi’s straight face gradually turns
dreadful. She’s seriously angry at me. Did my words rub her the wrong way?
Did I step on a landmine?! I don’t get it at all.

“It’s Christmas Eve, yet you’re not going to meet Hiori-san?”

“Eh? Why? All of us are going to have a Christmas party tomorrow, so I don’t
really need to meet her today… right?”
“Hiori-san, I feel sorry for you!!”

“Haah?! …It hurts! You’re choking me! Uncle! Uncle!!”

She gasps and releases my collar. I wonder if she did it without realizing it
herself. It got difficult to breathe, which causes me to go into a light coughing fit.
Rumi looks apologetic and says…

“S-sorry… But it’s Nee-san’s fault!!”

“I don’t get it.”
“Another minus mark for not getting what I mean.”
“???”

I really don’t understand what’s going on. What am I supposed to do here? What
I want to do right now is to sleep, but if I say that out loud when she’s still in a
bad temper… I think she’ll strangle me again.

“Judging from the situation, I guess you didn’t buy any Christmas presents for
Hiori-san… right?”
“I did buy something for tomorrow’s gift exchange party…… but I guess that’s
not what you mean, is it?”

When she glares at me like that, I end up averting my eyes. Uuh, what did I do to
her?

“Nee-san, could it be that… have you ever given Hiori-san any presents for
Christmas? Except for sweets.”
“Now that you mention it, I don’t think so.”
“Figures…”

It’s not just Christmas. I think I almost never gave her any presents like that. I
often give her sweets that I make myself, but other than that, I’ve never
presented her with anything that lasts. In the past, I used all my allowance to buy
cookwares, ingredients, and the like. Besides, I don’t know what kind of things
Hiori would like.

Once, when I asked her what she wanted for a birthday present, she answered
that she wanted nothing in particular. So after thinking and more thinking, I
decided to give her some sweets. That’s how my presents to her became equal to
sweets in my mind.

Hrm— a Christmas present…

“Nee-san.”
“Y-yes?”

She suddenly looks at my face up close. I step back from surprise.

“Go out somewhere with Hiori-san.”

“Eh? But it’s cold out——”

“Just. Go!”

“Yes, Ma’am!”

Pressured by my dreadful little sister, I reluctantly crawl out of my blanket. I

wear extra clothes to keep myself warm, and I make my preparations to go out. I
brace my heart for the harsh coldness that must be waiting for me the moment I
step outdoors, but Rumi tells me to hurry it up instead.

I wonder why, Rumi is really terrifying today.

＊

“And here I am, in the shopping district.”

No matter where I look, every store is having a Christmas sale and is crowded
with people. Shop clerks are wearing Santa and reindeer attires, doing their best
to attract customers. It looks so busy here. The crowd is denser than usual, but it
looks to me that there are more couples than those who are with their families.
The people walking down the street are all smiling. Their happy faces really give
off the Christmas feeling. I didn’t want to come outdoors because it’s cold, but
the bright mood in the town is pumping me up.

“…I was surprised when you visited without notice, and suddenly you’re taking
me outside? What is this about?”
“I don’t really get it myself.”
“………”

Hiori is looking at me with cold eyes. She looks as though she wants to say
something. But, no words leave her mouth, leave for the piercing gaze that she’s
giving me. Uuh, the weather is cold as is, so it would be helpful if she stops
chilling me even more with that look. Both my body and heart are going to freeze
at this rate.

“Was I being a bother?”

“That’s… not it.”

Although Hiori didn’t reject my invitation, she didn’t look that willing, either.
But, she still came along with me. I was thinking of inviting Tsubaki, too, but
Rumi insisted to take Tsubaki somewhere else. So Hiori and I came here, just the
two of us… Come to think of it, it’s been a long time since I last went out with
Hiori like this. We would always be with Tsubaki whenever we do something.

“Alright, let’s try that store first!”

Now that we’re here, I’ll enjoy the first shopping trip with Hiori after a while.
It’d be my loss if I don’t enjoy the Christmas Eve that only comes once a year.

I start walking towards the store that has become my objective, but I feel my
clothes being tugged from behind. So I come to a stop.

“?”

I look over my shoulder, and I can see Hiori pinching the hem of my coat, just a
tiny bit of it. I wonder what is going on. Although, when she pulls the hem of my
clothes as though she’s embarrassed like this, she looks so cute that it makes my
heart jump a bit.

“What’s wrong?”
“………….nd.”
“Eh?”

Her voice is quiet, so it’s drowned out by the hubbub. When I look up to peer
into her face, she makes a troubled expression before averting her eyes.

“Hiori, what did you…”

“It’s nothing. We should be going.”

Hiori walks ahead of me in quick steps. It seems that I’ve offended her, there’s a
negative aura exuding from her back. I rack my brain in a fluster, then I chase
after her and catch her left hand to stop her.

“!”
“Wah! Your hand’s cold.”

It feels as though I’m holding an ice instead. I shiver from the freezing sensation
in my hand that rushes to the rest of my body. Her hand that I grab on the spur
of the moment is so much colder than my own. She’s stubborn, and she’s never
honest about herself. She looks as though she was fine, when she’s actually
freezing all this time. If she’d get this cold, she could’ve worn gloves or
something… Ah, maybe she was saying [it’s cold] earlier. I should’ve noticed
much earlier.

Anyway, I squeeze her left hand to warm her up. Yup, holding hands as we walk
does make it a bit warmer. Not to mention it’s warming my hand, too. It’s two
birds with one stone.

“It’s cold here outside, let’s quickly go indoors and warm ourselves up.”
“Y-yes.”

Her voice comes out a bit strange. How do I put it, it’s like she’s nervous, or
flustered. She feels different than usual. Also, I’ve just noticed that her hand is
trembling slightly.

“Hiori? Are you okay?”

But it seems that her head is in the clouds. I can see her body jolt in surprise
when I call out to her in worry.

“W-what is it?”
“I mean, I’m worried because you’re acting strange.”
“There’s… nothing wrong about me.”

No matter what kind of hardships she’s facing, she would never say it out. She’s
just stubborn that way. That’s why, I can’t be negligent. I have to ask her more
thoroughly to clear up this anxiety.

“Really? You’re not putting up a front, right? If you’re feeling unwell, we should
go h—”
“I-I told you, I’m all right!”

I think the Hiori today lets out more emotions than usual. At first, I’m under the
impression that she’s shouting in anger, but I’ve never seen her face flushed so
red. Then, she mumbles as though in embarrassment.
“Hinata… it’s just that…… when you hold my hand, I feel… happy…… That’s
all.”

“…………”

Her voice turns softer in every word she says, but I managed to hear it to the
end.

“So… there’s nothing wrong… with my health.”

“…………”

My mind goes white. While at the same time, my face turns red.

Heat gathers in my face. My cheeks feel so hot that I thought they might explode.
My jaw drops as though it’s going to fall off, and my foolish look stays for a
while. What Hiori said keeps repeating in my head, and it leaves me with no
room to think about my own face. It’s not like it’s the first time I’m holding her
hand. Actually, I think we’ve been holding hands just fine before. Linking hands
is just a normal thing to do, or at least it should.

But, why is it that only this day, she makes that kind of expression, and says that
she’s happy?

I don’t get it. I don’t get it, but I can’t calm down. There are many things that I
don’t get, and my head is muddled in chaos.

“S-say something, will you?”

“Eh? Ah… um.”
How should I reply? I should just say what’s on my mind like I always do, but
my mouth clamps up. I mean, I haven’t sorted out my feelings, so I have no idea
how I can run my mouth. I don’t want to end up saying something she would
hate.

“If you’re feeling okay, then good. It’d be awful if you catch a cold.”

I cheat by using harmless words. She looks unsatisfied with that, her expression
soon returns to normal. I feel relieved.

“Then, let’s go.”

“…Yes.”

Our movements may be stiff, but we manage to walk abreast. Of course, our
hands are still linked together. Her hand was cold earlier, but it’s completely
warmed up now.

“………”

I wonder why.

I’m getting self-conscious when I hold her hand like this. I ask myself if my hand
is soft, if I’m holding her hand too tightly, or if I’m not putting enough strength,
and so on. They’re all things that I’ve never mulled over before. I’m starting to
get embarrassed.

I’m getting weird today. What’s going on?

It seems that I’m going to be stuck thinking at this rate, so I change my mood by
force. First things first, I’ll act like I usually do and enjoy this shopping trip with
Hiori. Yup, let’s do just that.

＊
The general store, the clothes store, the food department store, we looked around
various places. Hiori and I aren’t the type to buy something superfluous, so we
enjoyed window shopping. Perhaps she’s thinking the same, somehow there’s
this happy look on her face. I feel that both ends of her mouth are slackening. It’s
fun to look at Hiori’s expression.

Yup, going out today is a good thing. I’ll thank Rumi by mail later, for making
me do this. The sky is getting dark, so maybe it’s time for us to go home.

“Hiori, it’s getting colder. Let’s go home.”

“………”
“Hm? Got any other stores you want to visit?”

She’s shaking her head to deny it. She’s hesitating to go home, so I thought
there’s still something she wants to see, but I guess that isn’t it.

“Say… do you know what Tsubaki would like for a present?”

“Eh? I don’t know, I’ve never asked her about it… Although, what are you
asking this all of a sudden?”

I intend to ask her casually, but she slumps her head a bit.

“I had planned to give her a Christmas present this year, but I don’t have the
slightest idea what to give to her… I have never given her any proper gifts all
this time, and I don’t even know where to start.”

‘Even though I’m her mother,’ Hiori mutters in self-derision, while gazing at a
family who seems close. The little girl is carrying a big present box with both her
hands, laughing happily as she walks. Her parents must have bought it for her.
Both her parents are looking at her with gentle eyes.

“…I think you don’t need to think too hard about it, you know? Tsubaki would
gladly receive anything you give her.”
“I wonder.”

“Yup, anything will do. After all, receiving a present is a blessing by itself.”
When I hear my own words, I come to realize it.

Yes, that’s right. Anything would be fine.

Actually, when I was walking around the stores, I was looking for a Christmas
present for Hiori. It’s been tugging me what I should pick for her. But it seems
that I was pondering about too much that I ended up not buying anything. It
may be important to think about what would make them happy, but the main
point is the feelings that I put along with my present. I believe that no matter
what I buy for Hiori, she will receive it happily. So, if I don’t know what she
wants, I just have to give her what I want to. It took me so long to realize such a
simple thing.

“Let’s pick Tsubaki’s present together. We’ll choose something amazing together
and surprise her.”
“Fufu, good idea.”

We look at each other and laugh. I told Hiori that Tsubaki would receive
anything happily. But now that it’s come to this, I’ll pick something that will
make her ecstatic. That’s why we’ll do our best together to pick her present.

After all, it’s a Christmas present for our special person.

“Thank you very much for your purchase—”

The shop clerk with the Santa hat sees us off with a smile. We’re hit by the
chilling wind as soon as we leave the store, but my spirits are high enough to
ignore that. Next to me, Hiori is hugging a paper bag that’s been wrapped
prettily to her chest. We took our time and finally managed to pick a present for
Tsubaki.
“I wonder if that child will be happy.”
“Of course she will! It’s a present that we picked after all that time thinking.”
“You have confidence.”
“Hiori, you should be more confident, too. Tsubaki’s going to be happy for
sure.”

I know how much Tsubaki loves Hiori. Receiving a present from someone she
loves, I think she’ll be happy just from that. When I imagine Tsubaki in that
position, I can’t help but smile.

“Thank you, Hinata.”

“Ehehe, you’re welcome.”

It feels embarrassing to be thanked straightforwardly. It’s dark already, so we

should hurry and go home.

In the dim street, the two of us are walking under the street lights. It’s quite late
in the evening, so I can’t see anyone else around. It’s quiet. My breath looks
whiter than during the day, maybe because the temperature is lower at night…
Well, my hand feels warm because we’re holding our hands on our way.

“Hinata.”
“What is it?”

Squeeze. She puts more strength in her grip. Wondering what’s up, I look at her.
Then, she takes out some kind of wrapping from her back and presents it to me.
I’m trying to guess her intentions by peering into her face, but she’s stubbornly
looking away from me. For the time being, I accept the wrapping and stares at it.
Eh? What’s this?
“Your Christmas present.”
“Eh?!”

Her answer is so shocking that I can’t believe my ears. H-Hiori is giving me a

present? Eh? Is this real? It’s not a prank, right? I timidly hoist up what I just
received as I still can’t believe what’s happening.

“You can throw it away if you don’t want it.”

“O-of course not! I-I want it!! I won’t give it back even if you ask me to!”
“I see.”
“Can I… open it?”
“It’s already yours. Do as you please.”

With her permission, I carefully open the wrapping and take out its content. It’s a
hoodie in my favorite color.

“T-thanks! Wow… It makes me so happy to receive a present!”

“………I see.”
“I’ll treasure it… Ehehe, it looks warm.”

Perhaps feeling relieved after giving me her present, Hiori’s tense expression
slowly loosens. Still, I didn’t expect to receive a gift from Hiori, so I feel
extremely happy about it. I wonder if it’s because I’ve been a good girl this year?
Yeah, right.

“…To tell the truth, I had always prepared a Christmas present for you, every
year.”
“Eh?”

Every year?”

This is my first time ever receiving a Christmas present from Hiori, as far as I can
remember. When I was still Tsubaki, I was the only one who gave her sweets as
presents on every Christmas. And I guess this is the first Christmas that we’re
celebrating together after I became Hinata.

“Although I always prepared some present… I had never given anyone a present
on Christmas before. I was nervous, and I didn’t manage to give it to you every
time… even though you had always given me sweets that time.”

In other words, even though Hiori didn’t get to give them, she had always
prepared some presents for me. I never expected that I would actually receive
anything from her, so I didn’t really mind about it.
“I’m glad… I managed to give it to you this year.”

Hiori looks satisfied, and bashful at the same time.

“…………”

Knowing this new thing fills my chest with warmth. Sweet emotions are welling
within me.

I see. That’s how it is.

I can’t suppress my happiness as it shows up on my face. I guess my expression

is rubbing Hiori the wrong way, as she pouts her mouth.

“You know.”
“?”

“Sweets are all that I ever gave to you. I’ve never given you anything that lasts. I
had no idea what to give, and… I could only give you sweets in the end. I’m
sorry.”

I take out a pouch from my pocket and holds it out to Hiori. I was waiting for a
good timing to bring it up, but the day has almost ended before I know it.

“Is that… could it be…?”

“Yes, it is. This is my Christmas present for you.”

…I’d be called a dunce who can’t tell the mood if I actually bring out something
else here.

Hiori opens her eyes wide, as though she can’t believe what she’s seeing. I-I
think I’m getting nervous here. I’m just giving her a present, why is my heart
beating so fast? She slowly takes the pouch from my hand and treats it like it’s
something fragile. She’s treating my present with great care.

“Would you mind, if I open it?”

“Feel free.”
She looks tense as she starts to open the pouch carefully. I wonder if the present
that I chose would make Hiori happy.

“………”
“W-what do you think?”

Why is she being silent? If she doesn’t say anything fast, I think my heart won’t
be able to take it.

“Thanks. I’m really… happy.”

“Hh… I’m glad to hear that.”

She takes out my present and grasps it in her hand. Then, she smiles from the
bottom of her heart. Her expression captivates me, but I got embarrassed and
looks away. Still, I think I want to look at her smiling face forever.

How strange.

It seems that my heart is beating even more erratically than usual. Even though
the weather is cold, my face… my whole body feels hot, it’s like I’m burning.
Also, my head feels a bit light… Somehow, I don’t understand what’s happening
to my own body. I shake my head to stop myself from entering another endless
train of thoughts. It’s not the time for that.

I stop pondering about it and looks at Hiori instead. It seems that she’s liking it
better than I imagined she would. I sigh in relief, but my whole body feels limp
after I let all my tension flow away. Although, I try to keep myself firm, at least
so that I won’t fall over. Hrm— I never knew giving a Christmas present would
be so difficult. But, if I can get to see her smiling like this again, I’ll keep doing it
for sure.

“Hinata, it’s really out of my expectation that you would invite me to go

shopping, and give me a present on top of that. Really, I can’t believe it.”
“…Ahaha.”
It’s all thanks to Rumi, though. It’s thanks to her pushing me from behind, that I
could have such a fun Christmas Eve. If Rumi didn’t come today, I would’ve
spent all day sleeping in my room. That would be happiness in itself, but what
I’m feeling right now is many times more than that.

“That’s why…… I can’t help but expecting that to come.”

“Hm? Did you say something?”
“…It’s nothing. Never mind.”

I missed what she said, but she refuses to repeat it for me. Hrmm, now she’s got
me curious.

Hiori holds my hand in silence. We separated our hands because it would be

difficult to open our presents like that, but they’re now connected again. This is
the first time Hiori ever initiates to hold my hand first, which takes me by
surprise.

“This would be sufficient, for now.”

“?”

“Fufu, Merry Christmas.”

“…Merry Christmas.”

The meaning behind her words, the reason my heart is beating so fast, and even
my excitement that seems to come out of nowhere… I don’t really get what’s
going on.

…But, as long as I can see her smile, I guess.

＊

“…Achoo!”

“……Are you okay?”

“Sniffle… Mm— I’m okay.”
Hiori approaches me with a worried face, so I smile and tell her that I’m doing
fine. Afterwards, she goes expressionless again, perhaps feeling relieved from
my answer.

“How could you, the embodiment of health itself, catch a cold…? Is it because
we went out yesterday?”
“Hm~ I don’t think so. After I got out of the bath yesterday, I went to watch the
TV without wearing much clothes. I think that’s the cause.”
“Are you stupid?”
“Eeh—”

…I make up that lie on the spot, but it seems that Hiori believes it. If I said that I
caught a cold because of our little outing yesterday, she would feel bad about it.
I’m the one who invited her in the first place. Besides, my cold might have been
caused by something completely unrelated.
“Cough, cough! …Ugh— my throat hurts…”

My symptoms include headache, palpitation, and fever. It seems that the strange
things that I felt were signs of a cold. Yesterday, I pondered about many things,
but I couldn’t arrive at any conclusions. Now that I’ve understood the cause, I
guess it doesn’t matter anymore. Actually, I feel my head cleared up from that.

“Hiori, um, I”m doing fine here, so you should celebrate the Christmas party
with everyone else.”

The Hayase+Kurasaka family Christmas party is ongoing downstairs. Someone

proposed to cancel it because I got sick, but there’s no way I’d like that to
happen. I want them to have fun without having to mind me, and I managed to
convince them to hold the party, although reluctantly. It’s unfortunate that I can’t
take part in it, but I’d hate it if the party got cancelled because of me. Hiori went
along with the party at the beginning, but she came upstairs to nurse me after a
short while. Even though I’m doing fine since my fever has gone down a lot, and
I’ve drunk the medicine, too.

“I want to stay here, just a little longer.”

“You’ll make Tsubaki feel lonely, you know?”
“Shush, just be quiet.”
“…Okay.”

She knows that I can’t go against her if she coerces me like that. She’s being
unfair.

“……Do you feel like having anything?”

“I don’t think so.”
“Do you feel unpleasant anywhere?”
“I’m feeling much better than this morning. I’m fine.”
“If you say so.”

Ooh— Hiori is acting kinder than usual. Instead of the cool remarks that I’m
accustomed to, everything she says today seem a bit gentler. Since she’s nursing
me so earnestly, I might want to get sick again every now and then, I think.

“Hinata?”
I’m getting sleepy, maybe the medicine is kicking in. I would give in and sleep if
it was any other day, but I want to look at Hiori for just a bit more right now. My
eyelids grow heavy, and my field of vision gets narrower. I intend to fight
against the drowsiness, but it’s just too strong. I’ve almost gone to the dreamland
when I feel something cold being placed on my forehead. That wakes me up a
bit. It was Hiori placing her hand on my forehead, checking my temperature.

……Her hand feels cold and pleasant.

Seeking more of the chilly sensation, I grab her wrist without thinking. Yup, her
hand does feel cold.

“Eh?”
“More…”

I pull her hand towards me, which catches her off guard. She staggers and ends
up falling on top of me. Our faces are really close to each other. I can’t see well
due to my blurry eyes and drowsiness, but I can see her beautiful face right in
front of me. Her forehead is pressed against mine, but it doesn’t feel that cold.
Actually, it feels to me as though she’s getting hotter than me.

“H-Hinata…”

Her cheeks are flushing red, like an apple. How cute. I wanted to get more of that
cold sensation at first, but my objective has changed midway. Hiori is frozen in
place, and I take that moment to bring my face closer. My head is in a daze, and I
don’t even know what I’m trying to do. I’m simply letting my instincts do the
work for me.

“H-Hina… hey… wait…!!”

Words that barely form a sentence escape her mouth, tickling me as her sighs hit
my face. Thinking to cover that mouth of hers, I bring my lips closer and——
I reached my limit.

“………Hi… nata?”

“Munya……”

“…………………idiot.”

In the midst of my dimming consciousness, I feel that I heard her agonized voice.
 The Young Girl’s Feelings Towards Her ＊1

I open my eyes, and I faintly see that my classmates are in the middle of
preparing their bags to return home.

I raise my body from my desk and look outside the window while rubbing my
blurry eyes. Before I know it, the sky is already tinged with red. I can hear the
yells from the courtyard, or to be specific, from the students who are devoting
themselves to their club activities.

…It seems that school’s been over when I was asleep. I think I remember
listening to the lessons up to the fifth period, but I have no memories of what
happened afterward. It seems that I’ve completely fallen asleep.

One of these days, I might receive a much obligated sermon from one of the
teachers. Thinking about it deflates my spirits. Although, I guess it’s my own
fault for dozing off like that. I stretch my whole body, and I cover my mouth as I
make a yawn.

(Sensei could’ve woken me up or something.)

My seat is next to the window, a perfect spot for the sun to shine on. It feels
pleasant and warm, which makes me drowsy every time. I mentioned that to the
teacher last time when I got summoned for dozing off in class, but I got scolded
and my cheek lightly pinched.

People might not believe me, but I’m doing my best to stay awake every day.
But, the Sandman has always been my weakness since forever. I can’t seem to
oppose it no matter what. Even though I turn in early, I can’t wake up in the
morning, and I still feel sleepy in class. I wonder why.

“Hayase.”

When I’m cramming everything from inside my desk into my bag, a girl (my
classmate) approaches my seat.
“Good morning to you— Slept well?”
“Why didn’t you wake me up if school’s already over?”
“You looked like you were sleeping so pleasantly, you know. Even Sensei
hesitated to wake you up.”

Hey… it’s good that I managed to wake up when it’s time for us students to go
home. But what are you gonna do if I happen to wake up in the middle of the
night instead? She ignores my grumbling and proceeds to pull the seat next to
me and sit down. Then, she shows an ominous grin as she produces a printout. I
wonder what’s up as I receive it in my hand. I skim over the piece of paper, and I
see that it’s the so-called career survey. There are three fields under the
instructions for me to write my future choices in.

“Sensei told us that we need to submit it by next week.”

“Future choices, eh…”

The paper makes a rustling sound as I wave it around before placing it on my

desk. I’ve already reached the period where I must think about my future course,
and it makes me feel a little lonely. Although, since I’m still in my second year, I
still have much time ahead of me… But on the other hand, it’s just a matter of
time.

“Hayase, you’re going to the university, aren’t you? With how smart you are, so
you must be aiming for a national university or something.”
“Nah, a national university is impossible for me… Besides, I haven’t decided yet
if I will go to a university or not.”
“Eh? You won’t?! What a waste!”
“Like I said, I haven’t decided yet. I haven’t properly thought about it.”

Although, it’s not that I haven’t thought about my future careers at all. It’s more
of a matter of feelings, I don’t know what is it that I want to pursue. I may have a
vague idea about it, I can’t seem to clearly put it in words. I don’t need to hurry
just yet, but not having a vision of the future makes me feel a bit anxious.

“Heeh~ That’s surprising. Here I thought you had finished working out your life
plan all the way till old age. I really didn’t expect you to be the one who hasn’t
decided on your career plans.”
“What kind of person do you think I am?”
“I mean, Hayase, you may look childish at a glance, but you have this aura
around you that makes me feel like I’m facing an adult… or should I say, a
person who’s old in the inside.”
“What… did you say…?”
“Sorry, my bad. I’m just messing with you.”

I know that I think far ahead sometimes, but it doesn’t feel right to be told that
I’m like an adult. Well, I’ve lived twice longer than my classmates, but I’ve never
gotten to the life that awaits after school graduation. I don’t actually have a
wealth of experience.

I heave a sigh and fold the career survey paper before putting it in my bag. I
don’t think I’ll reach an answer even if I think about it right now, so I’ll just
postpone it for later.

“You know, even though I say that you look adultlike, I’ve never heard a single
love gossip about you, Hayase.”
“Huh?”
“I’ve been in the same class with you for more than a year now, but you totally
don’t show any motivation for romance.”
“How did our conversation even move to that topic?”

Hmm, I thought we were talking about my future career, but suddenly she’s
already talking about romance. Well, I don’t really mind. Although, I’m not good
at this kind of topic, so I might be a tiny bit troubled about how to answer her.

“I’m worried about you since your high school life feels so bland to me. You’re
right at the springtime of your life, so you should be adding more hue to it!”
“Eeh~ I’m okay. I’m not feeling lonely at all.”

Even without a lover, I still have my friends and families with me. My life is far
from being bland. I’m living while having fun every day.

“What are you saying?! This period only comes once in a lifetime! You’re going
to regret it if you don’t make use of it, you know?”
“Well, what can I do?”
“One of the girls from our class, Hosohama-san got confessed to by a guy from
another school nearby. Everyone was making a fuss about it yesterday, you
know?”
“Yeah, I think I heard about it.”
The other girls in our class caught wind of the confession. Apparently,
Hosohama-san received a confession from a handsome guy whom she had
feelings for in secret. And so, they were making a ruckus right in front of the girl
in question in the classroom.

When the girls were gossiping about love and romance, their eyes were all
shining so brightly. It looked fun, just by watching them. I think the most
enjoyable thing about the whole event was seeing Hosohama-san smiling with
her cheeks flushed red. Anyone can tell that she was happy, and her charming
smile felt as though it would infect anyone watching her. I guess that’s what it
means to be a maiden in love.

“Don’t you think Hosohama-san is really fortunate~? She looked so happy to get
herself a boyfriend. Like I thought, a happy life needs to start with love!”

I have no idea how to reply to that. I make a wry smile while looking at her
nodding to herself.

“So, Hayase, don’t you have anyone that you like? Maybe, someone you’re
interested in?”
“……I don’t think so. I’m not interested in romance.”
“S-she’s withered…!! This girl’s not even hoping for the guy to approach her…!
Is modern Japan really okay to have someone like her living as a high school
student?!”

She stands up all of a sudden and makes an exaggerated response. She points at
me while saying, “You’re impossible!” again and again. Hrm, how rude. Let me
tell you, I want to have a romance story for myself, too. I’m a girl, after all.
Although, how should I say it… I want it to come naturally? That’s why I’m not
being assertive about it.

I believe the fated encounter will come sooner or later… Although the fact that
I’ve never seen anyone as a target of romantic interest might prove to be a
problem.

“Hmm— Hayase, could it be that you actually have someone you love, but you
haven’t realized it yet? Do you have any special person who are close to you?”
“…………”
Hearing the word ‘special’ makes me think of [her] face. But, no, that’s not it.
Yes, she’s special to me. I consider her more important than anyone else…… but
that’s not the love that she’s talking about… I think.

The closest word would be ‘family’. I want to protect her, stay with her, because I
think of her as a family. She’s special that way. Although, I wonder why it feels a
bit different. It’s close, but there’s another, mysterious feeling that’s tugging at
the corner of my mind… It’s making me feel fuzzy for some reason.

“Oho~? It seems that you have an inkling of what I’m saying?”

“Hahaha, of course not.”

She approaches me with a full grin on her face, so I push her back and leaves my
seat with a bag in hand.

“Oh~? Running away, aren’t we?”

“I’m going home. I promised Tsubaki to walk home together.”
“Aah, Kurasaka-san from Class 4. You’re really close to each other.”
“I guess.”

I show her my back and wave my hand as I leave the classroom in haste.

My classroom and Tsubaki’s are quite far. In fact, I will have to climb some stairs
to reach there. We were in different classes in the first year, but our classrooms
were located next to each other. We’re getting even further now that we’ve
reached the second year, which makes me sad. Here I was sure that we would
get into the same class this year… tough luck. Sheesh, I feel like putting a curse
on the teacher who assigned our classrooms. Nevertheless, I keep visiting
Tsubaki every lunch break, so I guess it’s fine.

“Hinata-san.”

I’m about to climb the stairs that I just mentioned, when I hear a familiar voice. I
look up to see Tsubaki standing on the top of the stairs. When I wave my hand to
her, she beams dazzlingly as she climbs down in a hurry. I’m going to caution
her not to hurry like that when——I can hear a small yelp escaping her lips. As I
feared, Tsubaki has missed her footing and her body is now lurching forward.

“Tsubaki!”
I climb the stairs in a hurry and catch her body with both my hands. I manage to
stop her fall, and I sigh in relief as I watch her clinging to me. Aah, thank
goodness I made it in time. I want to praise my quick reflex. I’m not going to say
this aloud, but since I’m using my arms to support Tsubaki’s weight… she’s, um,
h-heavy. My arms are trembling pathetically. Both of us are going to tumble at
this rate, so I prop her back up with my weak hands somehow or another.

“T-thank you very much, Hinata-san.”

“Yup, I’m glad that you’re alright.”
“I’m sorry for the trouble.”

She looks pale as she apologizes to me, so I pat her head to soothe her. She’s
trembling. It must have been scary to slip from the top of the stairs. I thought my
heart was going to stop when I saw her tumble like that. Anyway, I’m glad she’s
alright. I grab her hand that’s still quivering.

“Okay, let’s go home.”

“Yes…”

…She doesn’t seem energetic. The ever delicate Tsubaki must be feeling down
because of her blunder. Alright, then I’ll just——

“You know, Tsubaki… earlier, when I looked up after you called me, I could see
up your skirt. You’re so defenseless about such things. Be careful next t——”

Huh?!

…What the heck am I saying?!

I’m trying to make Tsubaki laugh with a joke☆ since she’s looking so dejected,
but I end up saying what doesn’t need to be said! Wait, it’s also important to
point it out to her. It’s possible that someone else will catch a glimpse of her
underwear next time. There’s no way I’d let it happen, definitely not. I think of
Tsubaki as my precious girl, akin to my own family, yup. What do people call
this again? A parental love?

“………ah.”
She’s stunned for a while, then her face gradually turns red. Perhaps due to her
embarrassment, she runs away with a speed that I wouldn’t expect from her
normally.

…Wait, where is she going—?!

“Wait, Tsubaki—!!”

She’s covering her reddened face with both her hands as she runs off. Left alone,
I stand still with a dumbfounded face until I can’t see Tsubaki anymore. We’re
both girls, so it’s nothing to be embarrassed about, right?——and so I ask my
classmate who happens to be passing by. But far from agreeing with me, she
replies, “I don’t really get it, but it’s Hayase’s fault, right?”

…………

Alright, then. I’m sure she’ll come back if I wait. But since I have nothing to do
anyway, I’ll just follow Tsubaki’s steps leisurely.

I somehow catch up with Tsubaki, and we start walking abreast on our way
home. Her face was still red when I grouped up with her, but she’s now
completely back to normal. It seems that she doesn’t want to touch that topic, as
she keeps talking about other harmless things. As long as Tsubaki is back to her
lively self, I guess. I shouldn’t bring it up anymore.

“Ah, right. Tsubaki, have you filled your career survey?”

“Actually, I submitted the printout as soon as I received it.”

So fast?!

“Have you… decided on your future course?”

“Yes. Ever since I entered high school, I’ve decided to enroll in the K University’s
department of education. Although, I think it’s going to be slightly difficult for
me with my intellect. I’ll have to do my best.”
“I-I see.”

Department of education sounds like something that only national universities

have, but I guess the private ones have it, too… Hm? Does Tsubaki want to
become a teacher?

“Hinata-san, are you still thinking about what you want to do after you
graduate?”
“…Nothing’s come to mind so far.”
“It’s alright, we’re still in our second year. I think Hinata-san should think about
it slowly, without rushing.”
“Yup.”

I know that nothing would come out even if I panic. I know that I still have time.
Although, even if I understand it in my head, I can’t swipe away the anxiety in
my heart.

“…Tsubaki, sorry. I just remembered something to take care off, can you go
home by yourself?”
“Ah, yes. I understand.”

I part ways with Tsubaki and retrace my steps. Then, I make a stop at an empty
park that we passed by, and I decide to sit on one of the benches.

I don’t have anything to take care off. It’s just that, I came here to take some time
thinking by myself.

“……”

I retrieve the printout from my bag. I’ve filled the field for my name, but
everything else is still blank. Tsubaki has chosen the path that she’ll tread in the
future. On the other hand, I can’t even decide on anything. When I was still
Sekiguchi Tsubaki, I managed to write down my future career without
hesitation, but it’s different in [the present]. After losing my ‘future’ once, I came
to realize just how important this is. It’s not a matter that I should decide so
simply.

The past me believed that I could just go and enroll in some university, get some
job, earn some money to live, and have a carefree life. But since there’s nothing
that I wish to do in the present, maybe it’s okay for me to choose the same thing
as I did in the past. Even with a half-baked decision, I might just be able to
discover what I want to do along the way. My parents are also encouraging me
to go wherever I want to.

(But……)

It makes me waver instead. I don’t even understand what is it I’m wavering

about, and I can’t seem to find any answers.

“Ah.”

The piece of paper slips off from my hand, fluttering in the wind. It moves in an
irregular fashion, until it finally falls to the ground a few meters away from me. I
rush to recover it, but someone else has picked the paper up before I could. He’s
an old mister, looking at around 50 years of age. He looks at it for a while, before
shifting his eyes to me when he notices my gaze.

“…………”

His eyes seem clear and honest, and his expression gentle.

“Is this yours?”

His low-pitched voice sounds tranquil and pleasing to the ear.

“Yes.”
“I see. Then you must be Hayase Hinata-chan.”
“How did you know my name?”
“It’s written on this paper. Sorry, I read it without asking you first.”

He looks apologetic as she passes the paper to me.

“Please, don’t be. Thank you very much for picking it up for me. Although, it
seems to me that you already know me from somewhere…”

I look at him as I suppress my thumping heart. As opposed to my agitated self,

the man in front of me is calm.

“You’re acquainted with Sekiguchi Rumi, right? I’m Sekiguchi Yoshikage. I’ve
been hearing about you from my daughter.”

He narrow his eyes as a gentle smile appears on his expression. It’s been so many
years since then, so naturally, he looks old now. His wrinkles have increased,
and his white hair stands out. But, he hasn’t changed at all. It feels so nostalgic
that my body starts to shake.

(…Dad.)

Sekiguchi Yoshikage. Father of my past self, of Sekiguchi Tsubaki.

(Damn you, Rumi.)

I told her not tell them about me, but look at what she did. She promised me that
she wouldn’t say anything. Although, I wonder if she only told them about
Hayase Hinata while leaving out the fact that I was Sekiguchi Tsubaki.

“Rumi and Tsubaki-chan are always talking about you.”

Father sits on a nearby bench, so I sit next to him. I’m really curious about what
they always say about me, but at the same time, I’m afraid to know.

“I’ve been wanting to meet you, but I couldn’t find the chance to.”

Actually, there were many occasions when we could meet, but I’ve been
avoiding it every time on purpose. Who knows how many times Rumi has asked
me to meet them, but I escaped every time. I mean, it feels awkward, and
embarrassing.

“There’s something that I never get to tell you all this time… Thank you, for
mending the relationship between Hiori-san and Tsubaki-chan. And also, for
hearing out Rumi’s problems.”

Really, what kind of stories are Rumi and Tsubaki feeding him?

“Not at all, I didn’t do anything.”

“Is that so? The two of them are really grateful to you. Hiori-san has also cheered
up lots after she met you.”
“…You must have gotten the wrong idea. I believe that they managed to
overcome their problems with their own strength.”
“Which is thanks to you supporting them by their sides in secret, right?”
“……”

I’m at a loss for words. I can’t seem to say any more excuses. Aah, that’s right.
Father’s talking skills don’t lose out against Hiori. Although unlike her, he
always spins his words with a smile.

To my silence, Father gazes at the career survey in my hand.

“Were you thinking about your future career?”

“Ah, yes. I was.”
“I see that your choices are still blank… You know, I’m here to listen to any
worries you may have. Although, who knows if I will be useful or not.”
“…………”

He smiles, seemingly in a good mood.

“Actually…”

I wanted to think about it on my own, without relying on anyone. But, it seems

that meeting my father after such a long time makes me want to depend on him.
“Hmm… I see. You’re wavering because you don’t know what you want to do,
nor what kind of path you want to pursue.”
“Yes.”

Father thinks for a bit, before opening his mouth again.

“But in truth, you’re not wavering. You’re only averting your eyes from what
future that’s coming to you. You’re running away from it.”

My father looks at me straight in the eye, and his words jolt my heart. It feels as
though he just pierced through my weakness that I didn’t even know it existed.
My heart aches with pain.

“Deep in your heart, you already have your decision. The path that you want to
pursue, what is it that you want to do… It’s already there, isn’t it?”
“……That’s not…”
“Only after you admit them, then you can waver all you want… Think about
your future carefully. After all, there’s still a lot of time ahead of you.”

It’s as though he sees through me. He always gives off the impression that he
understands everything. Whenever I was worried, or confused, although Dad
never gave me the answer directly, he would always guide me patiently until I
reached the answer that I was searching. He was strict, kind, and a bit
mysterious. He was my beloved father.

“…What I want to do.”

The future that I wish for. It’s vague, but it’s there inside me. The things I want to
do, the things I want to have. The ‘form’ that I’m wishing for from hereafter.

——Just a bit more, I think I’ll be able to grasp it.

“Well then, I should be going on my way.”

Father rises from his seat. While facing the other way, without turning his face,
he says.
“If you like, come and visit next time, along with Hiori-san and Tsubaki-chan.
She and Rumi will be happy to have you.”
“…Ah, yes.”
“Aah, right. There’s one last thing that I want to ask you. Is it alright?”
“Eh?”

He turns around a bit and shows me a smile.

“Are you happy right now?”

I can’t tell Father’s intention by asking me that question.

“Yes, I’m happy.”

Right now, I think I’m as happy as I can. I don’t think it’s possible to get happier
than this. That’s why I can say that without hesitating in the slightest.

“I see. That’s good.”

“Yes.”

Father looks satisfied after hearing my answer. His response makes me wonder.

(My happiness right now…?)

No matter how much time passes, whether we like it or not, some things will
change. It can be something that we can see, but it can also be things that aren’t
visible to the eye.

——Aah, I get it now.

Perhaps I’ve been unconsciously refusing to move towards the future. That’s
why I can’t decide about my future at all. I’m already content with the present,
and I want to keep the status quo. After all, I might lose something in exchange
of the future that I wish for. I think I want to keep my current happiness, and
that’s why I’m afraid. The future will come to change it. There are just too many
things in this world that can’t be taken back once I choose to move forward.

That goes to my career, and————about her, too.

“Then, goodbye. Be careful on your way home.”

Father sends me a gentle caution when I’m still thinking.”

“Yes, um… thank you very much.”

When I give Father a slight bow, his smile widens a little. He turns his back to me
again, and slowly walks away. His back is just like how I remember it… and I see
him off in silence. I was nervous at first. But, there’s this special aura around
Father that made me able to converse with him calmly. I wondered what would
happen after meeting him out of nowhere like this, but…

I’m glad that I met him.

“Ahaha… haah.”

I look at the skies above as I lament to myself. Good grief, I’m amazed at how
dull I can be. I wonder why I never realized it all this time.

And now that I’ve realized it, I have to go and face her. Well, that’s exactly part
of what I want to do. But you know, it feels embarrassing, or should I say
ticklish? It’s like, I’ll start squirming in place the moment I let my guard down. I
end up getting bewildered by experiencing this new feeling for the first time.
How do I say it, it’s a really strange sensation.

Links between two people exist in various in shapes.

It can be friendship, love, hatred, or sadness. It can be solid and firm, it can also
be so short-lived that you might wonder if it’s even there. It can come from a
coincidence, but it can also appear to be inevitable.

It can’t be defined, and it can never be seen with our eyes.

But, no matter what kind of shape it takes, I believe that people can’t live without
these links.

I wonder what kind of link connects me and her right now. I never doubted that
we were a [family] all this time, but it seems that I was wrong. There’s a
possibility that Hiori also thinks of me as her family. But, that’s not how I feel
about it all along.

I’ve always, always liked her.

All this time, I’ve been in love with Hiori.

She’s more important than anyone else.

I love her so much that I think I’m going crazy.

I want to stay with her until the end of time.

I want to protect her, even if I have to put my life on the line.

It’s as though we’re a family, but there’s a tad bit difference. Whenever I think
about her, I can feel a yearning within me, along with a suffocating pain. I
couldn’t understand what it really was. But now, I realize that it’s ‘the feeling
called love’. I thought that it was something that lies far beyond me. That’s why,
it feels ridiculous to realize that it’s actually been there within me all along.

I pause my rampaging emotions, and I store the career survey in my bag. What I
want to do is not much. In fact, I’ve already decided on it long ago, even though I
didn’t realize it myself. People around me keep saying that ‘I’m a dull person
through and through’, which I’m not happy about… But, they’re exactly right.
Ahaha, just how thickheaded can I be? Yup, realizing the true identity of the
formless haze in my heart makes me feel refreshed. Well, I must start thinking
about what I should do about this.

(Still, I’m getting excited.)

It scares me to think that our status will change. But, I”m also looking forward to
it just as much. I can’t help but to feel that way. I’m already satisfied with the
present, but who knows, I might just find even more happiness waiting ahead of
me. Of course, there’s a chance that I might lose it instead. But, I don’t want to
regret running away from it.

…We don’t know about the future.

But for now, let’s just treasure these sweet feelings.

 The Young Girl’s Feelings Towards Her ＊2

“Sorry for intruding—”

“Welcome.”

While I’m taking off my shoes in the entranceway, Hiori appears from the inner
room to greet me. Usually, Tsubaki would be the one to welcome me… This is
rare.

“Where’s Tsubaki?”
“She went shopping some time ago.”
“I see.”

We chat as we move to the living room. I visit this house quite often, so I’ve
memorized the room positions, as well as the arrangement of the furniture. I’ve
been frequenting here for more than a year, after all.

“I’ll pour some tea, take a seat.”

“Yup, thanks.”

After watching Hiori leave for the kitchen, I approach one of the chairs. Then, I
notice several books piled up messily on the table, which are tugging at my mind
for some reason. Even though I know that I’m not supposed to look, I can’t help
but reach my hand on one of the book-like things and open it.

“Hinata, what are you… ah.”

I shift my gaze from the book to Hiori. She frowns, as though regretting her
carelessness. Um, could this be…

“Photos for marriage interviews?”

“Well… yes.”
“Hiori, y-y-y-y-y-y-you’re going to marriage interviews?!”
Just when I’ve realized my own feelings, a huge obstacle suddenly appears
before me…!!

However, Hiori looks annoyed and sighs. She shakes her head sideways.

“…No, I’m not. Aunt Sekiguchi brought those photos. It would be rude of me if I
don’t look through them at least.”
“Ah, aah, is that it?”

So it’s not because Hiori wants to attend the marriage interviews herself. That’s a
relief. Although now that I think about it, she’s not the type that would attend
marriage interviews and the like.

Uh… what are you doing, Mom? Although knowing her, she must be purely
thinking about Hiori’s well-being… How complicated. I’m curious about what
kind of people that she might meet, so I flip through the pages. There are
handsome guys, while the others seem to have respectable careers, and so on.
They’re all high-specced in one way or another. It’s really frustrating, but I have
to admit that they would suit Hiori more than me.

“What’s wrong?”

Maybe because my feelings are showing in my face, Hiori looks worried as she
peers in… Hey, your face is too cloooose!! I would think nothing of that if it was
a few days ago. But to me right now, it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to call her
face a bladed weapon! I’ve been aware of her beauty for a long time, but the
romantic filter in my vision makes her look a few times more sparkling than
usual. If I keep looking at her face like this… I start wanting to hug her… Wait,
what am I thinking about! It’s sooo embarrassiiiing!

I’m not a girl going through puberty for god’s sake! …Wait, I actually am!

“I-it’s nothing! A-ahahahaha.”

“Is that so?”

I take a little distance away from her to shake the sugary feeling off my chest.
Then, I decide to look at the photos to conceal my blushing face from her. Ah,
this guy is handsome, too. He looks kind, and his smiling face earns him quite a
score… What am I doing, praising my rivals like this?
“……”

But, maybe they can make Hiori even happier than me. Maybe it’d be better if I
encourage her to go on a marriage interview for her sake. Even if she accepts my
feelings… I have nothing to offer. Besides, I’m a girl, I’m much younger than her,
I’m not dependable, and I’m sure I’ll only bring her hardships.

Tap
“…It hurts.”

She gently taps on my head as my mood turns for the worse. When I raise my
head, I find her face right in front of me. It makes me take a step back in reflex.

“There’s not a day when you don’t act weird… but you’re acting even weirder
today.”
“S-so cruel.”
“…What happened?”
“Mm-mm, it’s nothing.”

Let’s calm down. My strange behavior is making Hiori worried. Although I’m
intending to act like usual, my feelings are running rampant and I can’t seem to
rein in my emotions.

I wonder how long does it take to get used to this ticklish feeling. This is my first
time falling in love, so I don’t understand pretty much everything about it. It
feels so embarrassing to think that I’ve totally become a maiden in love.

Ahem. I make a light cough before taking a seat on the sofa. Hiori looks at me
with dubious eyes for a while, until she gives up and continues checking the
photos. She said that she isn’t going to the interviews, and I can’t imagine her
going either. But, it still makes me anxious.
Even though I understand it in my mind, I can’t help but worry. I steal a glance
at Hiori’s side profile—her uninterested expression—as she looks at the photos…
No one can tell what she’s thinking from her ever expressionless face, but she’s
gotten relatively more approachable now. Well, I guess her meager expressions
are due to her inherent personality.

“Hiori.”
“What is it?”
“Do you have someone you like?”
Thud! As the book falls to the table, Hiori looks at me in surprise while trembling
all over. Hey, is it something to be that surprised about?
“Hinata… are you running a fever or something?”

She is genuinely worried about my health. It appears that she finds it practically
impossible for me to bring up about romance.

“Well, no, I’m not. Actually, Hiori, aren’t you the one running a fever? Your face
is flushed.”
“T-that’s because you asked me a strange question out of nowhere… Why are
you asking me that… all of a sudden…?”
“Hmm— you said you weren’t going to the interviews, so I thought it’s because
you already have someone you like or something.”
“Not really… I just don’t feel like doing these marriage interviews, so……”
“………”
“………”

She cuts off her words there and looks away. Then, she tidies up the photos on
the table and puts the stack in a paper bag. Then, she places it in a corner of the
room before returning to her seat and sip the black tea that she had poured for
herself. She remains silent for a while, and it seems that she has no intention to
answer my previous question. She seems to be the type who’s not interested in
romance and the like, just like me. Maybe that’s why she’s shy about this sort of
topic.

…Even now, this romantic love thing is making me feel self-conscious. Just
thinking about it is enough to make me writhe. Although I want to know
whether or not she has someone she likes, I’m also relieved because I don’t want
to know. How is it even possible wanting to know about something that I don’t
want to know? …Really, something’s wrong with me.

“……What?”
“It’s nothing.”

Hiori notices my gaze, then she glares at me, displeased. It seems that being
stared like this gets on her nerves. Although she stares at me in protest for a
while, she sighs before looking away as if in resignation. Even the little gestures
that she makes appear so cute in my eyes, I feel happy just by watching her
somehow. I desperately try not to break into a smile.
I never realized… this is how much I’ve been in love with Hiori.

“………”

While gazing at her face from the side, I have a thought. If… if she says that she
has someone she loves, what will I do?

(If Hiori has someone she loves, then it’s a given that I’ll support her.)

I don’t even need to think about the alternatives. There’s no point of doing it. I
want to prioritize her happiness.

Besides, I’m already happy just to be able to stay by her side like this. After all, I
have died 17 years ago, and I shouldn’t be able to see her, talk with her, or touch
her anymore. But, I can be with her in the present like the days long past. I still
can’t believe how fortunate I am to be able to receive this much happiness.

If Hiori was living her life happily, I thought it would’ve been alright not
meeting her. But, after moving here to this town, I ended up meeting her again
by coincidence. That’s when I decided to watch over her from the sidelines. I
should’ve been content with just that, but I’m still by her side, even now. We’re
able to talk to each other, we can also touch each other.

That’s why, I’m not going to wish for more.

I’ve ended up realizing… my own feelings towards her…… but I don’t regret
realizing it. After all, it lets me learn that falling in love is something so beautiful,
yet painful; it makes me feel happy and warm inside. Also, I’m grateful from the
bottom of my heart to know that she’s my first love. Various things happened,
but I met Hiori, fell in love with her, and I managed to lead a happy life.

I rise to my feet and approach the table where Hiori is sitting at. But, I heel over
after tripping over my own feet.

“Eh?”

Suddenly, my vision goes around in circle.

“Hinata?!”

My thought lags behind, and I have no idea what’s occurring. Before I’m aware
that I’m falling down after losing my footing, I feel a dull impact on my head,
followed by a throbbing pain.

“…hh!!”

Hiori’s shrill voice is the last thing I hear before my consciousness flies away.

I’m… dreaming.

I’m dreaming of myself, back when I was still a child.

I was really mischievous back then. I acted like a little rascal from a picture book.

I knew no fear, and I always sneaked away on my own to discover new places
that came to my interest. For example, a construction site with various materials
lying around, or the eerie cave located at the back of the public park. Every time I
went out to play where it piqued my interest, my parents would find out about it
and scold me when I returned home. Even then, I didn’t stop going on my
adventures. I didn’t learn my lesson and I went out in secret when I discovered a
new place to explore.

One day.
I went out to play in the park. But not long after I left, I saw a cat entering a small
grove near my house. I chose to chase after it instead. Along the way, I lost sight
of the cat and I found myself in the middle of the woods. I had never stepped so
far in, so I didn’t know where I was. I couldn’t hear the rustling sounds of the
tree leaves, nor any birds chirping. Even though it was midday, the place was
dreary and creepy.

I had lost my way in the woods, but I didn’t feel afraid nor anxious at all. In fact,
I was excited. Although I wanted to continue my adventure into the unknown
woods, I had to reach home before it got late, because that was how I always
earned my parents’ scoldings. I decided to search for my way home first, as I
pushed my way through the thick vegetation. I was used to walking on rough
paths, so I waded through the overgrown weeds with no problem.

After pushing on randomly with quick steps, I finally reached an open area. A
big tree caught my eye when I looked around, and I approached it as if I was
drawn in. I sat down with my back leaning against the trunk. Perhaps I was tired
after walking through the woods without a break, the warm sunlight and the
rustling sounds lulled me to sleep. I’ll rest for a bit——I thought, as I closed my
eyes.

[Who?]

I woke up when I heard a voice. There, I saw a girl standing in front of me. She
was a bit smaller than me, but she has a scary look on her face. After rubbing my
eyes, I got a clearer view of her—she was really cute… perhaps ‘beautiful’ would
be more accurate to describe her. Her long, black hair looked silky and smooth to
the touch, and there is a strong impression in her large eyes.

My eyes were naturally drawn to her, as anyone would to an impressive doll

decorating a room they were in. Her expression was sour, seemingly in a bad
mood. I believed that she would’ve looked prettier if she were smiling. We
locked eyes with each other without uttering a single word.
That was, our beginning.

I wanted to make friends with her. But, she completely rejected the thought. She
sent me away whenever I came to visit, telling me to go home. It made me feel
down again and again. But even so, I didn’t give up. After I kept going almost
every day, her attitude towards me grew lax, little by little. She started listening
to my stories, and she also talked to me, even though it was just a word or two. It
made me feel really happy.

She was supposed to be younger than me, but she knew everything. She taught
many things that I didn’t know before, and I learned a lot from her. Although,
what I received from her wasn’t limited to knowledge, I gained many other
precious things that couldn’t be expressed in words, too.

Then, by the time I realized it, being by her side became the most enjoyable thing
to do. She always treated me coldly, but the more I invited her to play, the more I
understood that she was actually a kind girl. Getting to know about the kindness
hidden within her personality made me comforted me. I was happy. All the days
that we spent together became my irreplaceable treasure.

She’s my most precious girl.

Thinking back, I had already been drawn to her since those days.
＊

“…hm?”

When I open my eyes, her worried face comes to my view. I don’t feel flustered
even though our faces are close to each other as the only thing in my mind is the
cause behind her anxiety. Maybe because I’ve just come to, my mind isn’t
running well. I’m gazing at her beautiful face in a daze for a while. Then, she
makes a face that I can’t quite explain as she scowls at me.

“Idiot.”
“Yes.”
“You’re a big fool.”
“It is as you say.”

I can’t say anything back. It’s really embarrassing to stumble over nothing like
that. I showed the clumsy side of me, which makes me want to cry. Although by
now, she’s seen my clumsiness more times than I can count.

……Hmm— speaking of which, it looks like Hiori is currently giving me a lap

pillow on the sofa. I didn’t realize it right away because I wasn’t fully awake.
There is a soft sensation at the back of my head, and Hiori’s face is positioned
right above me. There’s no doubt that I’m in the so-called lap pillow situation.

The area where I bumped against the table throbs with pain, but this awkward
and dangerous position has blown it to the corner of my mind. My heart is
thumping dangerously. I intend to get up and break away from this situation,
but my body seems to be frozen in place due to my nervousness. It’s definitely
not because I want to enjoy the sensation of her soft thighs… I think. Yup, I hope.

To my silence, she rustles my hair. It feels comfortable, and I close my eyes as

though to savor the sensation. Her lap pillow makes me feel happy and
embarrassed at the same time. Although, it calms me down when she’s gently
patting my head like this.
“Where does it hurt?”
“Mm-mm, I’m okay.”

I try to feel around my head with my fingers. There is a slight bump. It hurts a bit
when I touch it, but it doesn’t look serious. It’ll heal by tomorrow.

“That was careless of you.”

“It is as you say…”

My loose lip earns me a slap on the forehead. I think she’s telling me not to joke
around. After all, I hit my head out of all places. I could have died from it. Hiori
must have been worried when I was out cold.

“Sorry for making you worry.”

“It’s not like I was worried about you.”

With how anxious she looked earlier, her reply has no persuasiveness behind it. I
let out a small chuckle, and she pouts before looking the other way. Fufu, that
part of her never changed.

“By the way, I saw a dream of the past, when we met for the first time.”
“……I see.”

I think of the past as one of my treasures. But, I wonder if Hiori doesn’t want to
remember the many painful memories that come with it. She might have
forgotten about our first meeting already.

“Our first encounter… it was when you trespassed into my garden to have an
afternoon nap, wasn’t it?”
“I’m sorry.”

She remembers it all too well. I sneaked into someone else’s home and slept in an
unknown place… I was really reckless back then. Even though it’s been such a
long time, I can feel my face burning hot, as though it’s lit on fire.

“You kept coming even though I told you not to, interfered with my studies,
went and took a nap when I thought we were going to play something… You
also dragged me literally everywhere.”
“Sorry.”
I have no retorts whatsoever. I was frantic back then, and I ended up causing her
lots of troubles. I high-handedly went and visited Hiori because I wanted to
make friends with her. I tried various things because I wanted to see her smile.
She was kind to go along with me despite her harsh remarks, but I must have
been a nuisance to her. I’ve always been an egocentric person who only thinks
about myself. That’s why————

“But, it made me happy.”

“Eh?”

“I had been lonely by myself. I wished for someone to stay by my side, and you
did. You never gave up on me no matter how I tried to reject you. You stayed
next to me, smiling. You had given me strength to keep going…”

“………”

I can’t believe my ears when she says that with a serious expression. It’s so out of
the blue, and she got me speechless. I can only watch her in a daze. Maybe I’m
making a funny face, since I can see the corners of Hiori’s mouth raise just a bit.

“Perhaps you didn’t have such intentions… but I’m grateful to you, truly.”
“Ah, yup… you’re welcome?”

Somehow, I’m getting bashful here. Hiori is right, I was only thinking about
myself. She doesn’t owe me any thanks. But, it makes me happy to know that I
could become her strength, if that’s really true.

“…mm.”

Hiori’s hair is brushing on my face, so I reach my hand without thinking. Her

hair feels pleasant to the touch, so I give it a caress, like I’m trying to comb it with
my fingers. It looks like she’s feeling ticklish, since she’s squirming her body a
bit. I get carried away and keep stroking her hair, but Hiori lets me carry on
without saying anything.

What’s this… I’m not feeling sad or anything, but I feel like crying.
“In the end, I really love…”

“…eh?”

I gasp at the slip of the tongue, and I cover my mouth in a fluster. But it seems
that she heard it. She’s acting bewildered.

“H-Hinata, what did you just……”

“It’s nothing.”
“There’s no way it was nothing… Say it, all the way to the end.”

I can try adding something random to the sentence, but I don’t think she would
approve of it. She’s bringing her face close to mine… In a way, seeing her face up
close is bad for my heart.

“Be more honest with yourself, be more selfish. Say it properly, to me at least…”
“………”

I wonder why Hiori is making such a lonely face. I don’t want to see her like that.

“I’m sure saying it will only trouble you, Hiori.”

“Don’t mind about that and out with it.”
“……Fine.”

It doesn’t seem that I’ll be able to get out of this one, so I decide to confess my
feelings. It’s terrifying. But, if I back off here, I have a feeling that I will regret it
one day.

“I’ve ended up loving you.”

“………eh?”

——With this, there’s no going back.

As reluctant as I am, I get up from her lap and sit next to her. I straighten my
posture, and I watch Hiori’s face intently. It seems that she doesn’t quite
understand what I meant, so I strengthen my resolve as I continue my words.

“Hiori, I love you. It’s not the kind of affection between friends, or family. I love
you, in a special meaning.”

“…hh!”

She opens her eyes wide with surprise. Well, I guess anyone would be, getting
confessed to by a girl who’s also her childhood friend. And… she must be feeling
troubled. Although the confession makes me feel refreshed, it only serves to
burden Hiori. Although I had intended to keep it to no one by myself, this is
where I have to make the distinction. After all, I can’t keep Hiori to myself
forever.

“But Hiori, you don’t need to mind about me. I want you to find a better person
and be happy with him. If you already have someone you like, then I’ll give you
my support. If not, there’s an option of going to a marriage interview or
something.”

“…What… are you……”

“I’m already content being able to meet you again. I even got to talk with you
like this. So Hiori, you should think of yourself more.”

“Wait… a moment…”

“For Tsubaki’s sake, you should——”

“Hinata!!”

“Y-yes?!”
My shoulders jolt when she suddenly yells at me. I’ve never seen her this angry
before.

“Why are you deciding, consenting, and bringing it to a close on your own?! I
can’t believe you! How stupid can you be?!”
“Well, but…”
“To begin with, why are you giving up on me?! Is your love for me so light that
you can throw it away just like that?!”
“O-of course not! I love you so much, but… but… you don’t need to mind about
me.”
“Why are you putting yourself aside like that?! Shouldn’t you be thinking of
your own feelings first and foremost?! …Try to be greedier, won’t you……”
“…Hiori.”

That’s not it. I always act according to my own greed and ego. My wish is for
Hiori to be happy. Maybe I’m just sticking my nose in her affairs, but I really
want it to come true.

But when I spell it out to Hiori, she shakes her head several times and deny it
vehemently.

“Far from [your own wish], you’ve always been thinking about [what you wish
for others]. It’s always been like that.”

“……That’s…”

not true——I can’t seem to complete my sentence. All this time, I’ve always been
acting for myself, not for someone else. That’s how it should’ve been, but I can’t
refute Hiori’s words.

“Besides, why are you trying to proceed the conversation while disregarding my
feelings?”

But, there’s no point in hearing it. There’s no way that she would reciprocate my
feelings. I can’t even begin to imagine that she loves me. Hiori heaves a sigh with
an astonished expression, as though she’s trying to let off steam from her
blushing face.
“I… I’ve been in love with you since a long time ago, you know.”

“………”

Eh?

“…W-will you say something…”

I turn silent and my mind goes numb, while Hiori’s face grows redder as she
looks down as if to hide her embarrassment. Meanwhile, what she said is far too
unexpected for me, and I can’t seem to comprehend it. Eh, what? What’s going
on? Did she just say… she loves me?

“…Love… eh? You mean, me?”

“Do you see anyone else beside us here?”
“Really? Me?”
“Are you saying that you don’t believe me?”
“But…”
“…I believe that I have told you the same thing previously, but you ignored it
outright.”

When?! Ah, come to think of it, I remember her saying something like that last
year, but I thought she meant it along the line of being friends or a family. In
addition, I wasn’t aware of my own feelings at that time, so I couldn’t catch the
meaning. But regardless, I’m at fault for not considering Hiori’s feelings.
“I-I’m sorry.”
“Although back then, I was only saying it on the spur of the moment. I didn’t
plan to confess to you then. But, this time… um, I confess with ‘that kind of
intention’ in mind…”
“Y-yup…”

Which means, the feelings are mutual… right?

“……hh”

When I finally realize that she feels the same way about me, my face heats up.
My heart is beating fast, as though I’ve just finished a marathon. I get
goosebumps all over my body. It almost feels like I’m still dreaming. It’s like I
haven’t woken up after I fainted earlier. There are no words that can describe
how happy I’m feeling right now, but…

“I’m happy to hear that… but, like I said earlier, someone like me won’t——”
“I won’t forgive you if you say another word.”
“………”

Overwhelmed by her strong tone, I can’t say anything. Then, her stern face
changes to that of sorrow, and tears spill from her eyes quietly.

“Hiori…”

“Do you know how I felt as I kept thinking of you for years? Are you saying it,
knowing that I love you so? My beloved person died, and I believed that we
wouldn’t be able to meet again… but we did. My wish, which was beyond the
bounds of possibility, came true. Do you know how happy I am to be able to see
you again?”

“……”

“Moreover, I’m the one who decides my own happiness, not you.”

Those are the words that I said to her before. But now, she’s the one who’s saying
them to me. I see… what I’m doing is only pushing my idea of happiness to her.

“…Hiori, I’m sorry.”

I slowly reach the tears on her cheek and wipe it with my index finger.

“I won’t yield no matter what you say. I won’t listen…… because… I love you…
Hinata.”

“…Yup.”

It pains me to see her being so desperate. It rends my heart. I didn’t know that
she had been thinking of me so… so dearly. I’ve ended up hurting her more by
trying to conceal my feelings. I feel stupid for thinking too much about it.
Actually, it would have been better not to agonize over it.

“Hiori.”

I call out her name. I bring her slender body close as I embrace her. These two
actions are more than enough to fire the dazzling feeling in my chest, causing it
to gush forth from the bottom of my heart. Hiori twitches in surprise at first.
Then, she timidly puts both her arms around me to hug me back. Her warmth
nestles in my arms, giving me comfort.

“Thank you for still loving me, all this time.”

She’s been thinking of me, always——even though I was unaware of my own

feelings, even after I died. Even though she knew that she wouldn’t be able to
convey her feelings anymore, she never stopped loving me. Just how painful,
how agonizing it must have been for her. There’s no way for me to know how
she felt, but just imagining it is enough to break my heart.

She should’ve just forgotten about me. It would’ve been easier for her if she did.
She should’ve gone and searched for a new happiness instead.

“Thank you.”

But, I can’t help but to feel happy to hear it.

I’m overcome by emotions, and my tears start flowing to my cheeks on their
own. It’s fortunate that we’re hugging each other, which means she can’t see me
crying. I embrace her even tighter to prevent her from noticing.

“……If my happiness is what you wish for, then I’ll grant it for you. Hinata…
make me happy.”

“…Yup.”

“Stay with me forever.”

“Yup, if you’re fine with someone like me.”
“…Stop depreciating yourself already.”
“…erh?”

I end up making a strange voice because of the lump in my throat, but she pays it
no mind. Does she know that I’m crying?

“I won’t forgive anyone who belittles the person I love, even if it’s you.”
“That’s quite an embarrassing line.”
“…Be quiet.”
“Ahaha.”

Aah, in the end, it seems that she’s the only one for me. From here on, even in
death, I’m sure she’s the only one that I will love.

“Hiori.”

We slowly release our embrace, and we stare at each other at a distance so close
that our breaths are tickling each other. Hiori’s face is beet red, but I’m sure that
I’m blushing just as much. No matter how thickheaded I am, I can still read the
current mood. If I make a mistake here, I get a feeling that she’ll scold me for the
rest of my life. The only thing I need right now, is the courage to act.

While enduring the dizziness that’s pressuring on me, I place my hand on her
cheek, and I use the other hand to clasp hers. She looks a bit perplexed when she
catches on to what I’m going to do, then she slowly closes her eyes. From her
hand, I can tell that she’s nervous. And similarly, I think she knows that I’m
nervous, too. It’s really embarrassing, but at the same time, I feel happy.

I double my resolve and I inch closer to reduce our distance. I have the feeling
that I hear something from afar, but I pay it no heed. I focus my mind to one
point, and I slowly close my eyes. I approach her face, to hold Hiori’s trembling
lips against mine. Our lips are so close to each other that I can’t tell if they’re
touching or not, when————

“I’ve returned home.”

I was thrust away.

“Uooh!”
“Hinata-san?!”

Thud! Her shove splendidly lands me on the floor. I did assume an ukemi, so it
doesn’t hurt much. Although… it really took me by surprise… Tsubaki runs to
me in a fluster and sets down the bags she’s holding. Then, she helps me get up
to a sit on the floor. When I look at Hiori, it seems that she’s finished regulating
her breathing by using all her might. She remains seated on the sofa as though
nothing is wrong.
“Are you alright?”
“I’m fine! Totally fine! Welcome home, Tsubaki! You’re back early!”

I understand why she thrust me away in that instant. Although, even if she
wants to hide it from Tsubaki, she could’ve done it more gently. I scowl at the
culprit who pushed me away, but she averts her eyes.

“Geez, what were you doing?”

“”Nothing.””
The way we answer at the same time only makes it more suspicious. Ugh, this is
awkward. Although Tsubaki tilts her head to the side in wonder, she doesn’t
pursue the matter. I guess we manage to fool her with that. We both sigh in
relief.

“Um, were you out shopping for dinner, Tsubaki?”

“Yes, I bought the ingredients for seafood curry, but… are you fine with curry?”
“Of course. Ah, I’ll help you.”

I roll up my sleeves. But by the time I reach towards the shopping bags, Tsubaki
has already snatched them away from me.

“Hinata-san, please take your time with Mom.”

“Eh? But…”
“You were the one who did the cooking last time, so it’s my turn today.”

I can say nothing back to the best-quality smile that she shows me, so I decide to
accept her offer and relax. For now, I return to sit next to Hiori. Although, I have
no idea what to do next. Maybe I’ll put on the TV or something…

“………”
“What may seem to be the matter, Hiori-san?”

I can feel a piercing glare coming from my side. I can’t bear with it for long, so I
try calling out to her. Although when I give her a glance, I can see that she’s in a
terrible mood.

“Hinata… you’re always sweet to Tsubaki. You’re quick to fawn on her, and
you’re overprotective when it concerns her.”
“R-really? I mean, Tsubaki is a good girl, and she’s kind, too… Besides, since
she’s your daughter, I end up thinking of her as a child that I need to protect?
Something like that?”
“…What’s with that?”

It seems that she’s not satisfied with the excuse that I make at my wits’ end.
Although, her cheeks are tinged red when she turns her face away. I don’t know
if she’s angry, or embarrassed about it… But at least, it seems that her mood has
improved.
“Perhaps… I should help with cooking every once in a while.”
“Hold it right there.”

Hiori gets up from the sofa to head towards the kitchen, so I grab her arm in a
hurry.

“W-what?”
“Well… you can just take a seat, Hiori. I’ll help instead.”
“Tsubaki said no earlier, didn’t she? Or what, are you trying to stop me from
cooking?”
“………”
“Why are you looking away?”

Hiori is dexterous, and she can do anything. But of course, every human has
their shortcomings. In Hiori’s case, cooking is one of her weaknesses. No matter
what she tries to cook, the result isn’t what anyone would call food. Even though
I had tried teaching her all the steps from scratch, it’s a wonder how she would
always fail somewhere. If Hiori is cooking me something, I would eat it until the
plate is clean. But, I saw hell the last time I did it… How I wish to forget about
that time.

“I can help with a few things at least, right?”

“Uuh… I’m worried.”
“If you’re that worried about it, how about you come and watch?”
“Okay, okay, I’ll do just that.”

I follow her lead and get up from the sofa. I’ll keep an eye on her so that we
won’t have some mysterious food X as our dinner. Hmm… I think this will be
our first time gathering in the kitchen.

“Hinata.”
“Hm?”

Hiori calls my name, so I turn towards her. She comes close and suddenly
sandwiches my face with her hands. Then, I can feel a peck on my forehead. It
happened in a really short time, but I could feel the soft sensation clearly. The
place where she kissed me feels warm. It does make me happy… but why the
forehead?
“I love you.”

The charming smile that she rarely shows, as well as the words that she normally
wouldn’t say, makes me blush helplessly. I feel cheated by her surprise attack,
but I have no complaint because I’m happy about it. Well, not minding about the
little things is one of the weaknesses of being in love. Although I still have
doubts if I’m really the right person for her, as long as my love is stronger, I’m
sure it will turn out just fine.

“I love you, too.”

Although it feels embarrassing, I reply in a similar manner.

She smiles happily, seemingly satisfied with my answer. She’s my beloved

person, and I want to see her smile, always. I want to protect her smile. Then, my
face forms a smile on its own.

We both laugh with our cheeks still red.

——This moment really feels like a dream.

 Her Love Towards the Young Girl

Sometimes, I wonder if this is all just a dream.

I have Hinata, Tsubaki, and all these kind people around me. Every day is filled
with happiness. I had believed that I would never be able to obtain it in my
whole life. But, the unbelievable occurred… and it is now right there in my
grasp. A dream—what should have been impossible—has really become a
reality.

Once, I let the words slip out of my mouth. I asked Hinata if I was allowed to be
happy. After all, I do not deserve all this happiness.

But…

[What are you saying, Hiori? You have to be much, much happier, you know.]

She answered me with a gentle smile on her face.

I cannot believe her. Just how much does she need to brighten my life before she
is satisfied?
…From the bottom of my heart, I am grateful to have met Sekiguchi Tsubaki, as
well as Hayase Hinata.

I am really glad that I fell in love with her.

“Hey, Hiori-san, are you listening?”

“Eh?”

“…I guess not.”

My thoughts that went elsewhere are pulled back to reality by the person in front
of me. Rumi-chan looks at my baffled face and makes a wry smile. I try to mask
my embarrassment by taking the nearby cup to my lips. Although it has not been
long since the tea was poured, it has completely gone cold.

“Fufu, what were you thinking about? Ah, could it be about Nee-san?”
“……You’re wrong.”

I am shaken up because her guess hits the bullseye. I wonder if she actually has
the ability to read minds. However, I refute her while keeping my expression
from changing to the best of my abilities, in order to prevent her from noticing
my discomposure. Alas, she is unlike her dense elder sister. My words probably
does not convince her in the slightest. As proof, she has been giggling since
earlier.

“Nee-san is really blessed, isn’t she~ There’s such a beautiful person who’s
thinking about her all the time.”
“……Like I said, it’s not what you think.”

I avert my eyes out of embarrassment. Although I am practically admitting her

words, I cannot bear looking at her in the eye. My face feels feverish, too.

“Ahaha, you’re so cute, Hiori-san.”

“………”

Rumi-chan laughs as though to tease me. The way she laughs resembles her
sister, and I cannot help staring at her because of it. They may not be related by
blood anymore, but I suppose it does not change the fact that they are truly
sisters.

(……Perhaps I have contracted a serious illness.)

Whenever I let my mind wander, I would end up thinking about her. It has been
a few months since we started dating, but my fever has not abated to this day. I
know better than to let love govern my emotions, and I feel ashamed of myself. I
may have obtained a lover, but I am also a mother. I need to compose myself…
but my feelings for her keep growing by the day. It is a really troubling matter.

“Haah~ even though Hiori-san is thinking about Nee-san so wholeheartedly,

when it comes to the person in question…”
“?”

Rumi-chan puts her hand on her face and sighs in an exaggerated manner. She
frowns, as though the smile she showed earlier was a lie.

“After you’ve finally started going out, Nee-san took a part-time job in just a few
days, didn’t she?”
“Yes, she did.”

She did not consult me, nor did she mention it to me. It took me by surprise
when she suddenly started a part-time job shortly after we started dating.
However, since it was what she had decided for herself, I am not particularly
against it.

“I mean, can you believe it? Normally, when two people in love other start
dating, they would flirt to their heart’s content. But of all things, Nee-chan took a
part-time job instead!”

“Flirt to their heart’s content…?”

“Hiori-san, the number of times you can see Nee-san has decreased because of it,
right?”
“………”

It is as she says. Starting since Hinata had a part-time job, the times we can meet
have decreased considerably. The times when she comes to visit are limited to
when she is not at work. Not to mention that her breaks are generally on the
weekdays. Because we end up having separate holidays, we have been meeting
less frequently. Even though it is Sunday today, I have not seen Hinata all day.

“Don’t you feel lonely?”

“……No.”

I lied.

In truth, it feels so lonely. I want to stay with her more. Although spending
saccharine moments every day like a pair of lovebirds would be too much, all I
hope is for her to stay with me.

However, I will never tell her that even if my mouth is torn apart.

“…Hiori-san, you’ve changed.”

“Eh?”
“In the past, you’d never let your expression crumble no matter what happens,
but… you look really lonely right now.”
“………”
Rumi-chan smiles to me, seemingly pleased about it. I did not intend to reveal
my feelings, but I suppose it shows on my face. In the past, I would never give
away my emotions to anyone. Have I changed… as she says?

“I think you don’t need to hold it in. You can ask Nee-san to spoil you more.”
“I… can’t do that.”
“Why? Nee-san must be feeling the same, too.”
“Even so.”

Hinata is too kind.

She will grant anything I wish. She will gladly sacrifice herself if she needs to.
She is stupid like that. That is why, I do not want to trouble her by asserting my
selfish needs. It is not my wish to burden her. I want her to live for her own sake.

“Well, although it’s not my intention to meddle too much in a private matter
between the two of you… Still, I think it’s bad for you to keep these things to
yourself.”
“I……”
“If there’s something you want to say, you need to properly put in in your words
or actions. Otherwise, you’ll end up regretting it, you know?”
“You’re… right.”

This is how I have always behaved. No matter how much I want to convey my
feelings, in the end, I would regret not saying it. I kept the words hidden, and
there were times when it led to something irreversible. Regardless of how many
times I have experienced it, I would repeat the same mistake all over again.

“Yup, it’s really scary, and difficult to be honest with your feelings… But, I’m
sure Nee-san will accept it. Believe in her.”

How mysterious. Listening to her words makes me calm. Rumi-chan had

supported me, she stayed by my side when I was mourning Tsubaki’s death.
Truly, I cannot thank her enough.
“But you know, Rumi-chan. Although it feels a little lonely not being able to
meet her…… even so, I already feel content.”

I managed to reconcile with my daughter after not seeing eye to eye for years. I
met my precious other again, whom I had lost before. I was able to convey my
feelings to her, and she accepted them. Furthermore, I am surrounded by all
these warmhearted people who would watch over me, and help.

I feel happy every day.

So happy that it feels wasted on me.

“…Hiori-san, you and Nee-san are really awkward with each other.”
“I suppose you’re right.”

Hearing my answer, Rumi-chan holds her elbows on the table and rests her chin
on her hands. Every now and then, I consult her about things that I cannot say to
Hinata, and she would give me various advice. I have practically no one I can
call friends, so she is one of the only few people that I trust.

“But, at this rate, your relationship won’t be able to progress at all… Or has it?”
“……What do you mean?”
“I mean, have you done anything couple-like?”
“………”
“Knowing Nee-san, it would be difficult for you to flirt with each other– Hiori-
san, your face is getting red… Wait, could it be?”

She ends up finding out, especially because I seem to have become more upfront
with my feelings. I have wanted to regain my expressionless self before, but not
as much as I do today.

“Hmm~? Is it really what I think it is~?”

Rumi-chan bends her body forward eagerly and brings her face close to mine.
She can leer at me with those glittering eyes, but there is simply no way that I
will tell her about ‘that time’. While I am stumbling over my words, I end up
recalling about what happened, and my face becomes even hotter.

“Fufu, here I thought that both of you were late bloomers. I’m relieved to know
that you’ve done something together at least.”

It is so embarrassing that I feel like dying. I want to run away here right this
instant. I cannot look at Rumi-chan directly, so I try to feign composure by
drinking the cooled tea in one go.

“Although I really want to hear about the details…”

“………”
“I know that Hiori-san will never tell me even if I ask… so I won’t. Please stop
glaring at me like that.”
“…I’m not glaring or anything.”

It’s simply the way I hide my embarrassment. It appears that she does not intend
to continue this topic, as she blatantly starts talking about something else.

“Come to think of it, Nee-san has been getting taller, hasn’t she? Even though she
told me before that she might have stopped growing.”

Hinata’s height is now around the same as Rumi-chan, and a tad bit shorter than
mine. She was only as tall as the average high school girls on the day I reunited
with her, but she has grown much taller since. The person in question had
wanted to become taller, so she must be thrilled about it.

“Tsubaki-chan has grown quite big, too. Like her chest, and you know… her
chest.”
“…It seems to be weighing on her mind, though. She said that having big breasts
was embarrassing for her, and she didn’t like it.”
“That makes me envious. If only I can have a bit more for myself……”
“Rumi-chan, you already have a decent pair, don’t you?”

Her breasts are not that big, but they are by no means small, either. Perhaps it
would be correct to say that she has the average size, which should be sufficient
for girls. From the perspective of someone who has much to be desired when it
comes to breasts, it would sound like luxury needs on her part.
“They’re not as big as yours, though, Hiori-san. Hmm, I wonder if it’s the
genes… Mom has the average size, and so did Nee-san in the past.”

Says Rumi-chan as she taps on her own chest. Even though I believe that she has
the ideal size when it comes to her breasts, I decide to remain silent because it
would only sound like a sarcasm coming from me.

“Still… Tsubaki-chan has really grown, hasn’t she? She was only a small child
just the other day.”
“Yes, she has.”

Watching my daughter grow up makes me happy, and lonely at the same time.
The child Tsubaki has gotten so big, and she is going to be a third year high
school student soon. Time really flies. The period when she can remain a child is
going to be over. In this short moment until the day she leaves my side, I wonder
if there is something which I can give her as her parent.

“Many things happened, but time really flies, doesn’t it?”

“Indeed. Rumi-chan, you have grown so mature yourself, while I must be getting
on in years.”
“Ahaha, I feel a bit embarrassed to hear that. But Hiori-san, your beauty hasn’t
changed at all. I think I’m jealous.”
“You know that’s not true.”
“Well~ you know what they say about a woman in love~”

She breaks into another mischievous grin. She often teases me like this recently.
Although I am at a loss at what I can do about it, surprisingly, I find myself not
minding it that much. I wonder… if this is what ‘talking about my love’ means. If
it is true, then how embarrassing it would be to continue this conversation.

“Mom?”

“Yes?”
I believed my daughter was in the middle of her studies. However, she turns up
behind the door to the living room, peeking from the slight opening. She timidly
enters the room after looking inside for a short while.

“What’s wrong?”
“I’m out of erasers, so I’ll be heading out to buy some. Ah, I will be shopping for
dinner while I’m at it.”
“Is that so? Tell me if it’s going to be too much to carry by yourself. I’ll
accompany you if you want.”
“Mm-mm, I’m okay. I’m not going to buy that much today.”

I cannot find the time to do housework because I am usually busy working.

Tsubaki does pretty much everything in my stead. I would love to help during
my rest days at least, but it seems to be increasing Tsubaki’s work even more.
Perhaps it is because I am not accustomed to doing house chores.

“Aww~ Tsubaki-chan is always such a good girl… Onee-san is so happy to see

that you’ve grown so mature, yup.”
“R-Rumi-san, what are you saying all of a sudden? Were you drinking?”
“S-so cruel! Tsubaki-chan, you’re starting to become a bit like your Mom
recently… in terms of personality.”
“And what do you mean by that?”
“Nope, nothing at all.”

Rumi-chan looks uncomfortable under my stare, as she averts her eyes and looks
away to the distance.

“Ah.”

Then, it seems as though she has just remembered something. She takes out her
cell phone from her pocket and looks at the display. Was it actually a mail?
Although, her expression swiftly turns overcast. Tsubaki and I exchange glances
and we wait for Rumi-chan to finish reading through it.

“Sheesh, that girl…”

She flips her cell phone shut before heaving a sigh.

“What happened?”
“……Saki-chan ran away.”
“”Hah?””

“She’s supposed to be studying until a while later, but she sneaked away to play
somewhere. That’s what Emiko-san told me in the mail.”

“That… sounds to be quite the trouble.”

She will be taking the high school entrance exam in the near future. I believe she
is applying where Tsubaki and Hinata are attending. It seems that she is giving
an extra effort to study this year, although it makes me wonder if she is going to
be fine. Speaking of which, I heard from Hinata that her grades are barely
making it, which is a source of her worries.

“I look away for one second, and here’s what she does… Geez.”
“A-ahaha… It does sound like what Saki-chan would do.”

As a matter of fact, Rumi-chan came to visit after she finished tutoring at the
Hayase’s. She is truly enthusiastic with her profession to take care of a student
who is preparing for an examination on top of having to do her own job.

“Tsubaki-chan, you said you’re going shopping, right? Can I go with you? I’ll
search for Saki-chan along the way.”
“I don’t mind.”
“Well then, Hiori-san, I’ll be leaving for today.”
“Yes, do your worst.”
“Yup!”

She gets up from her seat and clenches her fists in eagerness. I suppose it is just a
matter of time until that child gets caught. Although I feel sorry for her, there is
simply no other way around it. I understand the desire to go out and play after
doing nothing but study, but she needs to bear with it if she wants to pass the
upcoming exam.

“I’ll quickly bring her home and make her do the latest workbook as her
punishment!”
“…Don’t be too harsh on her, all right?”

I have always been thinking that Rumi-chan always deals with Hinata’s little
sister spontaneously. How do I put it, it is as though I can see the glint in her
eyes. They always quarrel whenever they meet, but I am certain that it is by no
means because they are in bad terms. Yes, perhaps it is because they get along so
well that they keep bickering with each other. It is endearing when I think about
it that way.

“See you, Hiori-san. Be good with Nee-san, okay?”

“Yes, sure.”
“I’m heading out, Mom.”
“Ah, wait a moment.”
“?”

I open one of the drawers to retrieve a hand knit scarf, and I wrap it around
Tsubaki’s neck. This is the scarf that I knitted for Tsubaki, my first handiwork
after a series of trials and errors. I had finished it a while ago, but I have
completely forgotten to give it to her… In addition, I am planning to knit another
one with a different color as a present for Hinata.

“Wow… thank you very much! Ehehe.”

She buries her face in the scarf, looking happy to receive it. I am relieved to see
that my present has pleased her.

“Good for you, Tsubaki-chan.”

“Yes!”
“Be careful on your away.”

After seeing them off, I return to the living room alone. I bring the empty cups to
the kitchen and wash them before returning to the sofa to relax. The place has
suddenly turned quiet, and I only sit there in a daze.

“?”

Just as I start to ponder about my next course of action, I can hear the front door
opening. I get up from the sofa, assuming that it is either Tsubaki or Rumi-chan,
who comes back because one of them forgets something.
“Hello—”

“!!”

The voice that I hear from the entrance is, in fact, the voice of the person that I
want to meet the most right now. My chest heats up from inside just from
hearing that voice. My body acts before my thought can follow, carrying me to
the entryway in quick steps. There, I see Hinata, who is in the midst of removing
her shoes. Noticing my appearance, she shows a broad smile and calls my name
cheerfully.

“Ah, Hiori.”

“Hinata… aren’t you working today?”

“Yup, I did. My shift ended earlier than usual, so here I am.”

After Hinata finishes taking off her shoes, we head to the living room together.
Then, she sprawls on the sofa as soon as she reaches it.

…No matter how I see it, she is obviously tired. Knowing her, she must be
forcing herself to come here, even though she is worn out. I am glad that I could
see her, but not if she strains herself like this.

“Hinata, aren’t you tired? …You didn’t have to force yourself to come. I’m doing
all right.”

I am not doing all right in the least. However, the words that come out from my
mouth are the exact opposite of my true feelings. I wonder why I cannot be
honest with myself. Even though I want her to stay by my side more, why am I
unable to tell her clearly? It feels so vexing that I might start crying from self-
hatred.

“………”
Hinata quietly draws near and grasps my hand. Her hand feels soft, warm, and
pleasant to the touch. The slight warmth from her hand spreads to my whole
body.

“Hiori, you know what? I’m not forcing myself. I’m here because I want to meet
you.”

Then, she places her other hand on my head. Until a few months ago, she would
have to overreach herself to do that, but she is now able to do it easily. My heart
jolts from experiencing her growth firsthand.

“You don’t want to meet me, Hiori?”

“That’s… not true.”
“Thank goodness.”

A gentle smile sprouts on her face, as though to show that my answer relieves
her from the bottom of her heart.

I love her smile. It is so dazzling… like the sun. Watching it soothes me. It gives
me a peace of mind. How many times have her smile healed me, saved me?

“Hiori.”

I raise my head when she calls my name. She is looking at me with a serious
expression, which is unusual for her.

“If there’s something you want to say, then say it without keeping it to yourself.
I’m stupid and thickheaded, so I won’t understand if you don’t say anything.
Hiori, I don’t want you to be hurt without me knowing. It’d be hard for me to
accept.”

“Hinata…”

I feel her grip on my hand become just a bit tighter.

“You’re spoiling me. You let me do what I want, and you agree to it. Before, I
would restrain myself, thinking that I didn’t want to trouble you. But Hiori, you
told me that it’s okay for me to act pampered. Thanks to that, I get to do the
things I want without having to worry about it. I get to understand the
importance of relying on someone else.”

She uses her other hand to brush my hair gently. Perhaps she likes fiddling with
my hair, she would touch it when she has the chance. Having my hair caressed
like this feels ticklish, but I do not hate this sensation. Actually, I quite love it.

“That’s why, Hiori, if anything bothers you, don’t hold it in. You don’t need to
reserve yourself around me… Rather, I think I want you to rely on me more than
anything.”

She gently brings me to her embrace, so I bury my face on her shoulder. I inhale
her sweet fragrance, and it calms me down. Even if I turn the whole world
upside down, I will never find someone else who can sprout these feelings
within me like she can.

——I do not want to lose this warmth a second time.

“Say, Hinata…”
“What is it?”

As I grasp her clothes, I can feel my hand trembling slightly.

“Actually… I feel lonely.”

“Yup.”
“I want you to stay by my side.”
“Yup.”

My voice is hoarse.

It is terrifying to convey what I really feel. But, even so… I want you to know,
that this is how much I love you.

“…I’m sorry that I can’t meet you so often, Hiori. But, I’m glad to know that you
also feel lonely like me. You always seem like you’re doing completely fine by
yourself, so I thought that I was the only the only who felt this way… you
know?”
“You dunce.”

“Figures.”

Her tight embrace brings warmth to both my body and soul. The anxiety and
loneliness that I was feeling are no longer there to be found.

“Let’s speak out what we really feel without holding back. I’m sure that all the
anxiety will be gone, and we can get a common ground like that.”
“…Yes, I suppose you’re right. I will give it my utmost effort.”

We release from our hug and gaze at each other. I slowly close my eyes, and I can
feel a warm, supple sensation on my lips. And another, but this time longer, and
deeper than the one before. Not just once or twice, we hold entwine our fingers
as we kiss each other again and again from different angles.

I break away slightly since I am running out of breath, but she ends up bumping
her forehead against mine. Both of us are blushing, and we giggle at each other. I
can feel her nervousness from our linked hands, and it relieves me because
similarly, she understands that I am just as nervous… Perhaps, both of us really
are awkward like that.

“I’m fine with us meeting once in a while like this, so… Hinata, do your best and
follow through what you want to do until the end.”
“Won’t you get lonely?”
“Nope, I won’t get lonely at all… as if.”

Relying on someone is entirely different from being dependent. Instead of

depending on her one-sidedly, I want us to stand next to each other. I want to
support her, like how she supports me.

“Thank you.”

I want to be the person who truly understands her. I want both of us to walk the
path of happiness, along with all the people in our surroundings. I would have
never thought about it this way in the past, but I do not want to lie to myself
anymore.
“Hinata.”

When I lean in close to her, she gently pushes me down to the sofa.

“Hiori…”
“…hh”

Normally, she acts indifferently to everything, but a certain mood would make
her become really assertive. While I do not find her pass disagreeable, as much as
I regret it, I decide to lightly push Hinata away.

“……Huh?”
“W-we can’t. I don’t know when Tsubaki might come home.”
“Ah, I see.”

She understandingly puts some distance between us and sits upright on the sofa.
Although, the fact that she backs away so easily makes me feel sad for some
reason. Would it hurt if she acts reluctant about it, even a bit?

(But, I would be hard pressed to refuse if it really comes to that.)

On the other hand, she only acts this aggressive on rare occasions, which makes
today feel like a waste. In fact, I wonder when the next opportunity will come…
Although, this thinking process is similar to the signs of sexual frustration. How
embarrassing.

“Ah, right. Mom said that you should come over once in a while.”
“Emiko-san did?”
“Yup.”
“…………I’ll think about it.”
“You’re not good around my Mom, after all.”

True, I find it difficult to deal with her. It does not mean that I hate her, though.
In truth, I am impressed to witness her inexhaustible cheerfulness. Furthermore,
she has more energy than the average people, and is thoughtful, even to the
smallest hints. Those are the traits that I hold in respect.

However… every time we meet, she would drag me into her high pace. As a
person who lacks the social disposition for it, I do not have the slightest idea how
to cope with her. Still, I believe that I should be able to talk normally with a
person as kind as her.

“But, isn’t your sister in a difficult period right now? I heard that she ran away
from home earlier, and Rumi-chan went out to search.”
“Aah… so she did it again… Well, Saki will be fine since she has Rumi to look
out for her. Saki is, in her own way, a tenacious girl who hates to lose.”

A gentle, ‘elder sister’ smile shows on her face. She may be worried about her
sisters, but she also places her trust in them.

“What about you, Hinata? Aren’t the college exams coming next year? Are you
studying properly?”
“I’ll be fine. My grades and academics are all in the clear, and I might get some
recommendations, too.”
“That’s good and all… but have you decided on where you will go?”
“I haven’t thought of the details yet, but I’ve decided on the path that I’ll take.”

There is no hesitation in her words. I can feel her composure clearly. It appears
that she has decided on her future career. In that case, I am sure that she will do
just fine.

“……”

Our talk is cut short. Even though there are mountains of things and topics that I
want to share with her, I cannot seem to put them into words. Usually, Hinata
would bring up a topic to help this poor talker to fit into the conversation, but…

“Hinata?”

Thinking that she has become strangely quiet, I find Hinata sleeping next to me
with a tired look on her face. As I thought… she must be tired. I try to shake her
shoulder, but she is not waking up at all. She will end up catching a cold if she
sleeps in a place like this. I must do something about it.
As much as I want to let her sleep on the bed, it will take a Herculean effort for
me to carry someone who is almost the same height as me. As powerless as I am,
even fixing her sleeping posture on the sofa proves to be impossible. Covering
her with a blanket is about the only thing that I can do to prevent her from
catching a cold. However, just when I am about to go and fetch the blanket,
Hinata leans against me, preventing me from moving. As her head leans on my
shoulder, I can only remain still, watching her sleeping peacefully.

“There’s no helping it.”

Tsubaki will arrive home before long, so it is all right to let her sleep for a while
longer. I gently sweep her bangs to the side, and I gaze at her sleeping face.

“Fufu… this reminds me of the old times.”

She would come to visit, only to take a nap instead. A really thoughtless girl she
was. She would always use my shoulder in place of a pillow, sleeping as though
it felt so comfortable. Even though she was supposed to be the older one, I had
always thought of her to be unreliable, simple-minded, and childish. However,
she had always been much, much more mature than me. She is kind, always
giving it her all… and she is incredibly good-natured, putting others before
herself.

“Thank you, Hinata.”

Thank you for protecting Tsubaki, and me. Thank you very much for teaching
me that life is priceless.
Please stay with me, and smile… always.
 Valentine Extra

February 14th.

Otherwise known as Valentine’s Day. It’s the day when maidens in love display
their skills and compete against each other.

But in my case, instead of giving a chocolate as a present to my sweetheart, I

thought of Valentine’s as an excuse for me to make as much chocolate as I want. I
made it my goal every year to watch my family and friends eat the chocolates I
made and hear them say that it was delicious.

Well, it was… until last year.

Believe it or not, I’m now in a relationship with the amazing ‘Kurasaka Hiori’.
Since I already have my own valentine, it wouldn’t do for me to hand out
chocolates to just anyone this year. So, I had decided to prepare gifts only for my
family and Hiori.

She has a dainty, maiden-like trait in her after all. She would definitely get in a
bad mood if I gave chocolates to others, too. She would say that she doesn’t
mind, but there’s no doubt that she would keep her grouch to herself. She’s the
type who holds a grudge, so it might stay for a month or so.

And so, I woke up early this morning and gave the chocolates to my parents,
Saki, Rumi, Tsubaki, and Hiori. They all received it happily, and I’m really glad
to be able to hear the word ‘delicious’ from them.

That’s——how today was supposed to end.

“But, why did it come to this?”

I thought Valentine’s would have ended with no problem to note. But, the
unexpected thing happened at school.

“W-wow… This is amazing, Hinata-san.”

“Weird… We’re attending a co-ed school, not a girls’ high…… Besides, I don’t
remember when I have become anyone’s Onee-sama… I’m not the school idol,
either.”
There are chocolates and cookies with beautiful wrappings piling on my desk.
It’s not to the point that they’re spilling from it, but I can confirm that there are
over 10 of them in total. At first, I thought they were misplaced for some reason,
but they’re all attached with cards AND my name written on them in neat
characters.

Well, this is not my first time receiving chocolates, though. Valentine’s landed on
Sunday last year, so my close friends ended up having to hand over their friends
chocolates the next day. And even before that, I made it a yearly tradition to
exchange chocolates with my friends.

Although, this is the first time I’ve ever received so many chocolates one-sidedly.
How is it even possible for the most handsome guy in class to receive less than
me who is a girl?

“Hinata-san has many friends after all, not to mention that you’re quite popular.
I think it’s natural that you would receive at least this much.”
“Eh? May I inquire about what you just said, Ms. Tsubaki?”
“Fufu, did you know? My classmates talk about Hinata-san sometimes.”

Wait, what? That’s terrifying. Who and what kind of rumors are they spreading
about me?

“They said that you’re smart, and reliable.”

“…You must have misheard.”

Her classmates must have been talking about someone else with a similar name,
yup. Although, Tsubaki shakes her head sideways while giggling to herself.

“They also mentioned that your grades always made it to the top rankings, you
have outstanding athletic abilities… And as if those weren’t enough to make you
stand out, you have a kind personality that you never ignore people in trouble.
Above all, they like the way you look so mature sometimes.”

People actually have that kind of impression on me?! Aren’t they looking
through rose-colored glasses or something?!
“All the girls were praising you, you know? They said that you would listen to
their worries when you’re not even acquainted with each other… You would
also help them and come to their rescue when they’re in trouble.”

With an adorable smile on her face, Tsubaki adds that listening to their praises
about me makes her feel proud. Well, I guess it’s true that I’ve meddled with her
classmates quite a few times, even though I don’t really know them personally.
Although… I don’t remember ever doing anything that would make me stand
out as she said.

“So… these are all obligatory… rather, friends chocolates, right?”

I nervously reach for one of the chocolates from the pile and take a closer look.
This one is clearly handmade. After that, I look at the other chocolates, but no
matter which I pick, they’re all are either handmade, or expensive. These are
clearly not given to me with halfhearted intentions. I finish checking all of them,
and I feel concerned.

“What do I do…… I already declared to Hiori that I wouldn’t accept chocolates

from anyone other than my family.”

I already told my friends beforehand that I wouldn’t take their chocolates this
year because I wasn’t going to prepare anything for them. But, I really didn’t
expect that I would receive something from people that I don’t really know. That
was careless of me.

“If only they gave it in person, I could’ve gotten the chance to refuse them.”

This morning, when I came to the classroom, there were already a few chocolates
stored in my desk. During the lunch break, when I return to my class after
having lunch with Tsubaki in the schoolyard, there were more chocolates placed
on my desk. And now, after school, I was on trash duty, so I went to throw away
the trash in the dumping ground, but the number has increased again by the
time I returned… Honestly, it feels a bit like a horror flick.

Although they properly wrote my name on the cards, they left out their own
names. I don’t have the option to return them like this.

“Hinata-san… even if they gave the chocolates to you in person, I believe that
you would receive them anyway.”
“Hrm… that’s not…”
“Are you sure?”
“…………”

I keep silent, unable to refute her. Maybe Tsubaki is right, I might end up
receiving them even if they gave me the chocolates directly.

“No matter what happens, Hinata-san would never refuse anyone’s favor like
that. After explaining about the situation to them properly, I believe that you
would still accept their gifts.”

I can’t say anything back, not when she declares it so confidently.

“I’m sure Mom won’t rebuke you for this.”

“……I sure hope so.”

I have a feeling that she would be really displeased if she knows that I’ve
received all these chocolates. But, listening to Tsubaki makes me feel like it’s all
going to turn out okay. Either way, I intend to tell her without hiding it. After
all… I don’t want to lie to her.

“Alright, I’ll brace myself and tell Hiori the truth! Tsubaki, I’m counting on you
to back me up!”
“…Y-you’re exaggerating it.”
“With that decided, let’s go home~ I think Hiori should be heading home from
work anytime now.”

I proceed to cram all of the chocolates from the desk into my bag. Although, it’s
already full just from putting 5 of them. Eh, what do I do now? There are still
more than half to go….

“I brought an English-Japanese dictionary and a Japanese language dictionary

today… so my bag is already full.”
“T-that sounds heavy.”

I guess Tsubaki is the type who brings everything home. It’s a hassle to carry
everything home every day, not to mention how heavy they are. That’s why I
keep most of my things in the locker.
Now then, how do I carry these chocolates home? …I definitely won’t carry them
in my hands, though! It’d be too embarrassing!

“Hey! The popular girl over there! Use this!”

“Huh?”

Suddenly, a plastic bag flutters towards me, which spurs me to catch it. I look in
the direction of the classroom door and I can see my classmate, a girl that I’m
close with, standing there while making a strange pose.

While I’m still at a loss of words, she gives me a thumbs up before gallantly
leaving to who knows where. Tsubaki and I can only look at each other in
bewilderment.

“What was that about?”

“…Who knows? But with this, I can carry all the chocolates easily. She’s a
lifesaver.”

I stuff the remaining chocolates into the plastic bag. Yup, I can bring everything
home like this. I’ll have to thank my buddy for her great help tomorrow.

After taking all my things, we leave the empty classroom.

“………”

…We walk along the corridor for a while, and I come to a stop. Tsubaki who is
falling a few steps behind stops as though to match me.

I turn around to see Tsubaki tilting her head in confusion.

“Your bag. It’s heavy, right? I’ll carry half for you.”
“Eh? But Hinata-san, you’re already carrying so many things…”

I say nothing as I reach my hand towards her. Tsubaki makes a troubled face, but
she soon loosens up and makes an embarrassed smile.
“Okay, let’s go—”
“…Yes.”

With a bag slung over one shoulder and a plastic bag of chocolates in one hand, I
carry half of her bag with my other hand. It feels nostalgic somehow. Come to
think of it, I feel like we’ve done something like this when we first met.

“Hinata-san?”
“It’s nothing.”

She looks puzzled as she peers into my face, and I laugh it off.

We make idle chatters as we walk side by side towards home.

＊
It’s only the two of us, me and Hiori in the living room. Tsubaki has taken refuge
in her room just a while ago.

…My stomach starts hurting from the tension.

“Here I was wondering what you were up to when you suddenly began lining
up the pile of chocolates that you brought…”

She sighs and looks at me with an astonished expression.

…I have finished recounting the whole story a moment ago, and I’m getting
really afraid to hear what she’s going to say. Really, I wanna run away from here.
Hiori, with her poker face, is staring at the chocolates that I received one by one
on the table.”

“So? Are you here to boast how you’ve managed to obtain all these?”
“That’s not my intention…”
“…I’m just messing with you. Don’t look so down.”

When I look up, unlike my expectation, I can see Hiori making a gentle smile. H-
huh? She’s not angry? Even though I broke my promise?

“…Say, Hinata. Have you read the message cards?”

“Message cards? You mean, the cards they used to write my name on? Was there
something else written other than my name?”
Hiori takes one of the wrappings and carefully tears the card off. She holds it out
to me, so I nervously take it from her hand. Hm? Although my name is the only
thing written on the front, there’s something else on the back side.

—— Thank you very much for helping me when I was left doing all the work by
myself during the culture festival. I made these for you as thanks, so please have
some if you would like.

“Eh…?”

The culture festival? If I recall… there was a girl doing some work alone at the
sports ground, so I went to help her… I think. I can’t really remember. Does it
mean that she gave me these chocolates as thanks for that time? She’s really
conscientious to remember something that happened way back, and she even
prepared something as a gift.

“How about you go ahead and read all of them?”

“O-okay.”

I peel off the cards one by one to look at the back side. Each of them is written
with a similar message.

—— During the marathon the other day, you noticed that I was forcing myself
even though I was feeling unwell. That is why you called out to me, right? I was
so happy when you lent me your shoulder and supported me all the way to
where the teacher was waiting. I had been wanting to thank you, but it is kind of
difficult for me to do it since we are in different classes. Sorry for not saying this
in person. Thank you.

—— You gave me sweets when I was feeling down. Thank you, you made me so
happy. You saved me.

“……Is this…”

They’re all letters to convey their gratitude to me. I can vaguely remember all the
events that are written, but I didn’t think I would be thanked like this even
though I did nothing much.

“Still, I wonder why they didn’t write their names on the cards… They didn’t
have to leave out their names… It’s not like they’re writing for their crush or
something.”

“Isn’t that because they simply want to convey their ‘gratitude’ to you? Knowing
you, you would prepare something for White Day. In that case, it wouldn’t hold
as a gratitude, would it… even though they’re the ones who wanted to return
their favors to you.”

“…I see.”
“I believe they decided to give you these on Valentine’s Day after hearing that
you like eating confections and sweet things from somewhere.”

Hiori approaches me and gives me a hug from behind. It’s rare for her to be the
one who initiates it, so it surprises me a bit.

“Hiori?”

“You must be thinking that you were only being the meddlesome person who
did everything ‘for your own sake’ or something along the line, aren’t you? But,
there’s no doubt that they wanted to thank you exactly because you’re that kind
of person.”

“………”

I didn’t do those things for gratitude. I did them just because I wanted to. But…
if my selfish meddlings make everyone happy, then it makes me really happy,
too.

Although I want to find everyone who gave me these chocolates, but I guess it’ll
be impolite of me. After all, I’ll end up trampling over their feelings.

That’s why, I’ll gratefully accept their gratitude.

“Ehehe.”
“You seem happy.”
“I guess so. Although I wasn’t expecting this, being thanked makes me happy.”
“Frankly… even though I’m well aware that these are appreciation gifts and not
romantic ones… Knowing that you received these chocolates makes me slightly
jealous.”
“S-sorry.”

“But more than that, I feel proud. After all, it’s the reason I fell in love with you
in the first place. It’s because ‘this is just the way you are’.”
Then, she puts something in my grasp. I look downward to see that it’s a brown
hand-knitted muffler and gloves.

“I can’t make chocolates… so I can only prepare these things.”

“What are you saying?! I’m so happy to receive them!”

I pile my hand on top of Hiori’s.

“…Thank you for everything that you’ve done for me. I suppose I’m another
person who feels grateful to you.”
“Same here. Thank you for the muffler and gloves, I’ll use them dearly.”
“Yes.”

We exchange a light kiss before making a distance from each other. As reluctant
as I am, I’m not sure about generating a sweet mood with Hiori when Tsubaki is
home. Besides, she must be worried about us. I need to tell her that it’s all been
resolved.

When, I make haste to Tsubaki’s room to tell her that everything’s fine, she looks
relieved and smiles for me. The two of us return to the living room and join Hiori
at the table.

“Still, Hinata-san, are you going to eat all of these chocolates?”

“Yup. Otherwise, I think it’d be rude to the ones who gave them to me.”
“Although I agree with your sentiment… isn’t this amount too much for you to
eat alone?”
“…Well, I’ll manage by eating little by little for several days.”

Considering the shelf life, I guess I should eat the handmade ones first and put
off the bought ones for later. With some effort, I think I’ll be able to finish
everything in a week.
“Sorry for intruding—”
“Ah.”

All of a sudden, Rumi and Saki has come to visit. Both of them are carrying
paper bags in their hands. Wait, could it be?

“…Things are looking amazing, too, this year.”

“Well, ahaha~”
“It’s sad to be on the receiving side when I’m a girl myself.”

Rumi laughs with a troubled face, while Saki breathes a sigh as though she’s fed
up with it.

They receive plenty of chocolates on every Valentine’s Day.

On top of being a teacher at the girls’ high, Rumi is popular among her students.
Thanks to that, the majority of the girls in her class would come to her and say,
‘Thank you for always taking care of us♪’ while giving chocolates to her. Even
though she’s warned them not to bring it to school, she still ends up receiving a
large amount every year.

In Saki’s case, the small girl is loved by everyone. She mainly receives chocolates
from her seniors and classmates. Although she likes eating them, she feels as
though she’s being treated like a pet to be fed. Apparently, she has mixed
feelings about it.

“Although I’m happy to receive all these, it’s impossible to finish all of them
myself. Besides, I also need to think about how to return the favors…”
“Exactly.”

As fellow girls who always receive many chocolates, they seem to understand
each other well. It’s true that preparing for the return gifts sounds like a lot of
work… I’m helping Saki prepare her gifts every year, though.

“Huh? The chocolates on the table, are those…?”

“Yes, they’re all for Hinata.”
“Hmm~?”
She squints her eyes, looking full of skepticism. I’m sure she wants to criticize me
for taking all these chocolates when I already have Hiori… It seems that I should
explain it to her properly later to dispel any misunderstandings.

“Onee-chan, even though you didn’t make anything for anyone beside us, you
still accepted all these chocolates.”
“It seems that my popularity period has finally arrived.”
“That’s impossible.”

I got denied in a swift stroke.

So cruel. Reality is cruel. I slump my shoulders, and Hiori leaks out a giggle.
Well, I don’t really mind as long as she’s here for me.

“Although, since I’ll be busy eating my own chocolates, Saki and Mom will have
to eat your portion just the two of you this year.”
“Eeh—! There’s no way Mom and I can finish eating all of this pile!”
“Do your best.”
“You’re so cold-hearted!”

“…The Hayase family sure has it tough. Oops, I’m not one to talk. Um, Hiori-
san, Tsubaki-chan, I’ll really appreciate it if you can help me eat them this year,
too…”

“There’s no helping it.”

“Yes, I’ll gladly eat them for you.”
“Thanks~♪ I’m saved~”

And so, we eat our respective chocolates as we chat. The room is gradually filled
with the sweet aroma of chocolates. No matter how much I like sweets, I’m
already full just from eating two of them. I don’t think I want to eat chocolates
for a while.
“Ah, we should go home before Mom yells at us.”

It’s already dark outside the window. I think Mother has returned home from
work and is now preparing for dinner.

“Urp, I’m already full, though…”

“Finish your dinner with guts.”
“Uuh…”
“Sorry, Hiori. We’re going home for today.”
“Yes, take care.”
“See you, Nee- I mean, Hinata-chan, and Saki-chan.”
“Yup.”
“Yeaah…”

Saki and I get up from our chairs and head towards the entryway. But along the
way, I can feel someone tugging at the hem of my clothes. I turn around to see
that Tsubaki is holding onto my clothes timidly.

“What’s wrong?”
“Um… this…”

She holds out a small box with a pretty wrapping. Considering the date, there
can only be one thing inside it.

“Hinata-san, although you’re already troubled to receive all those chocolates…

um, I need to give this to you today… I’m sorry.”

I calmly take the chocolates that she’s hesitating to give. Tsubaki glances at the
chocolates that I’m carrying in a plastic bag. Then she hangs her head, seemingly
apologetic about it.

…Being too reserved is one of her bad habits. She doesn’t need to apologize, not
in the slightest.

“Eih!”
“!”

I lightly poke Tsubaki’s head, and she raises her face in surprise. I end up
laughing from her cute reaction, which makes her pout as she blushes.
“It goes without saying that I’m as happy as a clam to receive a chocolate from
you.”

“…hh”

“Thank you, Tsubaki.”

“…Yes.”

As Tsubaki turns all smiles, I give her my thanks, as well as a goodbye before
leaving with Saki.

Thus, our Valentine’s ended with no problems to note.

 Two Sides of a Coin ＊1

With the change of seasons, Hinata-san and I have become third-year students.

Saki-chan passed her exams, which means that she’s now commuting to the same
school as our junior. Although, since she’s a size smaller than all of her
classmates, the cute Saki-chan remains as popular as she was in her middle
school.

I often spot her talking with other third-year students, so I guess being the
younger sister of the famous Hinata-san also played a factor. She let out a
grumble, saying that it is tiring to deal with all of them. But with an innocent
smile on her face, she added that she made many friends because of it.

Saki-chan, Hinata-san, and I are leading a wholesome and fun school life.

However, Hinata-san and I have to prepare for the university exam. The mood in
the classroom seems to be getting tense. I’m also putting my earnest effort to my
own studies. Although my homeroom teacher tried to assure me after looking at
my grades, it still doesn’t quell my anxiety.

On the other hand, Hinata-san is one of the few who received a recommendation,
which seemingly means she has practically passed, or so she told me.
Meanwhile, she’s taking it easy without deliberately studying for the exam. I feel
slightly jealous with how she can be so carefree about it.

(…But, it’s going to be alright.)

I search my pocket and take out a number of charms: a charm for study and
success that Mom bought me the other day, a charm for passing the test that
Rumi-san picked for me, and a charm that Hinata-san personally made for me.
When I look at all these charms, I can feel the confidence welling up from within
me mysteriously, telling me that everything is going to turn out alright.

Carrying the charms reminds me that I have people who are cheering for me,
and it makes me feel warm inside. That’s why I would look at them like this
whenever I feel anxious about the upcoming exams.
“Maybe it’s time for a break.”

I release the pen from my grasp and stretch my back. It seems that I’ve been
holing myself in my room, studying for quite some time. It’s almost time for me
to go out shopping. I’m at a good place to stop anyway, and it will also make for
a good change of pace. Besides, Mom will get home from work soon.

When I tidy up my notebooks, pencil case, and the other things on my desk, our
[family picture] comes into my view. Looking at it makes me break into a smile.
To the left is Mom, who is looking sheepish inside the picture, and I’m standing
to the right with a happy smile. Standing between us is that person with a gentle
expression on her face. In the past, I wouldn’t even imagine to decorate my room
with a photo that’s exuding so much kindness. I thought that even a miracle
wouldn’t be enough to make it come true.

But, the dreams that I had believed to be unattainable were realized, all thanks
her. She likes sweets, she’s a sleepyhead, she’s thickheaded, and she has a
beautiful smile——She is Mom’s significant other.

She should be working at her part-time job right now. I usually avoid visiting her
while she’s working because I would be getting in the way. Although, I think I
should stop by today at least, after I finish shopping. She said that she’s going to
quit her job in the near future, so this could be my last chance to look at the sight
of her tending the store.

I head to the door after finishing my preparation for an outing. Then, I turn
around when I open the door.

“Mom, Hinata-san… I’m off.”

After saying my partings to the photo on my desk in lieu of my family who isn’t
home right now, I take my leave.

＊
Currently, I’m carrying the shopping goods that I have just purchased while
exerting strength to both my arms. Although it was my intention to procure only
enough for today’s dinner, I ended up buying three days’ worth of ingredients
instead. The main reason being, I was in time for a limited-time sale. It may be a
daily necessity, but I think it was a mistake to get a big bottle of soy sauce
regardless of how cheap it was. My arms are going to tear off from my shoulder.

(Uuh… They’re so heavy…)

Not to mention, in addition to the soy sauce, I still needed to purchase other
ingredients with it. I walk along the road home in a tottering pace, as though I’m
being pulled by the heaviness in my hands. I was planning to stop by Hinata-
san’s workplace, but at this rate, I’ll only become a bother to her. Unfortunately, I
will have to save it for another time. I have to bring this heavy baggage home for
now.

My arms are getting numb, and it feels like I’m going to let go of the shopping
bags if I’m not careful. Thinking that it’s dangerous for me to keep going like
this, I decide to take a short break in a public park nearby.

“?”

I was going to sit on the bench, but it seems to have been occupied by someone
else. I’m left with no choice but to find another place, but that’s when I notice
something wrong. That person is bending over as though she’s slouching. She’s
also covering her mouth with her hand while grimacing. She might be feeling
unwell.

“Um, are you okay?”

“Hm? …Aah, I’m sorry. I’m just feeling a bit under the weather…”

I approach the bench and peer into her face, and the sitting woman gives me a
weak reply. Then, she slowly raises her face to look at me.

“——eh?”
But when our gazes meet, her eyes open wide and she leaks out a voice in
surprise. She looks at my face without moving in the slightest.

“U-um…”
“………”

After a while, the woman’s shocked expression turns grim. Instead of being
looked at, it feels as though she’s glaring at me. It makes me worried, thinking
that I might have rubbed her the wrong way. I only called out to her because out
of worry, but it might have been a needless consideration on my part.

“I’m sorry. Did I——”

“…Kurasaka… Hiori.”
“Eh?!”

Now it’s my turn to be surprised. She mutters the name of the person that I’m
closest to in the midst of her pain.

“Perhaps, are you acquainted with Mother?”

“…Mother? By some chance… are you the daughter of Kurasaka Hiori?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Aah, I see… That’s why you’re the spitting image of her. Your bearing, on the
other hand, doesn’t feel the same in the slightest… urp, ugh…”
“A-are you okay?!”

It seems that she’s feeling nauseous again while she’s talking. She covers her
mouth with her hand again, as though to keep herself from vomiting. The things
that I can do for the time being is to put down the heavy bags from my hands
and prop her unsteady frame.

She looks really pale. I wonder if I should bring her to the hospital. It’s a long
distance from here, so a taxi… no, calling an ambulance might be better. On the
other hand, the woman rejects my suggestion, saying that she’ll be fine.

When I’m at a loss to know what to do, she breathes a sigh and proceeds to
straighten her back. So, I release my hands from her.

“I’m fine. I’ll feel better soon.”

“I-is that so?”
“…You may look like her in appearance, but you seem to have quite a different
personality from her. Actually, I think you’re the exact opposite of her in that
regard.”
“I’ve been told that a lot. Um, how are you related to Mother, if I may ask?”

Although when I think about it, she’s most likely Mother’s acquaintance from
work. I’ve met them before on rare occasions. Although, since they’re ultimately
work-related, I’ve never met anyone who can really be called her friends.

“You’re asking how I’m related to Kurasaka Hiori? …Hmm, that’s a difficult
question.”

The woman looks up to the sky, looking at something that I can’t see. Perhaps
she’s recalling something from her memories, or diving into thoughts… Either
way, she’s giving off a lonely expression as she squints her eyes, smiling faintly
at no one in particular.

“Meeting that girl’s daughter right after I return to this town might have been
her doing.”
“?”
“Well, to answer your question… Although I’m not that close to Kurasaka Hiori
to be called her friend, we’re not such strangers to be simply acquaintances.”

I don’t really understand what she means from her vague words, but it appears
this person has a deep connection to Mom. Although, I can easily surmise
whether or not it’s a good one from the way she looks right past me, as though
she’s looking at Mother’s shadows. And, it’s certainly not the way someone
would look at a close friend.

“This must be some kind of fate. Hmm, I’m getting bored just sitting here, too…
so let me talk a bit about the past. You must be tired standing all the while, right?
Come and sit next to me.”
“Ah, yes.”

It was my plan to take a break from the start. Also, I’m curious about this
person’s relationship with Mom. After I sit next to her as she says, she takes her
time to tell me a story, as though recounting the past.

“——I met your mother, Kurasaka Hiori, when I was in my third year of middle
school. She was a freshman at that time. My friend introduced us to each other
during the freshmen welcome party. She was an unsociable girl, to a surprising
extent. All the words she said were ice-cold. She refused to mingle with others,
choosing to be alone on her own accord.”

That sounds really just like Mom. She has been getting more expressive lately,
though. The thorns in her personality have also decreased quite a bit. However, I
had pretty much the same impression of Mom before Hinata-san appeared in our
lives.

“I couldn’t get to be friends with her. We were two years apart, so there were a
few chances for us to converse to begin with. I think our link to each other was
nothing more than the fact that we knew each other’s names. Considering her
personality, I believe she didn’t have any friends… other than that person.”

“Do you mean…”

“She was a close friend of mine. We had gotten along ever since we entered
middle school, and we were always together. It seems that she was childhood
friends with Kurasaka Hiori, and she often told me stories about her.”

She would tell me even the trivial things like it was fun, the woman adds. Then
she looks at the sky, making a wry smile. Although it seems like she’s
remembering the past about her close friend with nostalgia, there’s a hint of
loneliness in her expression. Speaking of Mom’s only friend which was also her
childhood friend, there’s only one person that comes to mind. Most likely, she’s
talking about that person. I can tell, because the woman’s eyes are filled with
sadness.

“Since she’s a friend of my close friend, I thought of getting along with her. But,
with her acting like she did, not to mention my own incapability to make friends,
it didn’t work out… I think there were other problems that arose, but in the end,
I never came to like your mom that much.”

“I see.”

“I didn’t like that person that much, but it doesn’t mean that I hated her at first. I
believed that the girl that my friend loved must have been a good girl deep
down, but… but…… after ‘that day’, I can’t help but to resent Kurasaka Hiori.”

Suddenly, her expression swerves. Hatred is clearly shown on her face, and I can
feel the depth of her resentment.
“Even now, my resentment is still here. I left this place as soon as I graduated
from high school, but from time to time, I’ll end up recalling the fun memories
with my dear friend, as well as my hatred towards Kurasaka Hiori.”

She looks at me with a blank expression. Hatred is the only emotion that I can
perceive from her face, and it slightly scares me.

“I’ll tell you about your mother’s past, one that you don’t know about.”
“Eh?”
“No one has ever told you, right? About the incident that happened a short while
before you were born…”

Did a big incident happen before I was born? Is it an incident related to Mom,
maybe even me? Perhaps what this person wants to tell me is about ’18 years
ago’, the period that Mom never told me about.

(Is it alright for me to keep listening to this?)

Mom’s kindness for not telling me may end up being trampled by my own
curiosity. But, there’s also a part of me that wants to know the truth that Mom
has been carrying inside her all this time.

“From your reaction, I assume you don’t know what I’m talking about. Well, I
suppose it’s normal for anyone not to tell their own children about it.”

The woman fixes her gaze to me when I’m still hesitating. Her fierce eyes make
me flinch.

“I don’t have any grudge against you personally… But, this will serve as
something like a revenge against Kurasaka Hiori.”
“Hh?!”

The woman makes an eerie smile, as she mumbles. I feel disconcerted from this
situation. I feel that I shouldn’t keep listening. But… it’s already too late.

“By the time you were born, there was a murder incident in this town. The victim
was a third-year high school girl, and the suspect was a woman residing in the
mansion where the incident took place.”
An incident that occurred 18 years ago, a murdered high school girl, and a
woman from the mansion. The pieces of information are slowly put in place with
her account. No, stop it. My instincts are screaming at me, telling me not to stop
listening to her. My heart is beating faster because of the mental strain, and my
throat feels terribly parched.

“The weapon was a sharp pair of scissors used for flower arrangement. A
servant who was working at the mansion contacted the police, and the suspect
was arrested. The motive of murder remains unknown because the suspect
refused to speak about it…… However, there was little news about it even
though it was a murder. Thus, as time passed, people lost interest about the case.
The incident easily vanished from everyone’s memories.”

I’ve never heard of a murder happening in this town, not to mention anywhere
close to where we live. Perhaps it was kept a secret from me considering that I
was still a child. Or, could it be that the incident has simply slipped everyone’s
mind?

“But, I’ll never forget it. Even though over a decade has passed since, I still
remember——after all, it was a revolting incident that took the life of my dear
friend.”

The chains of information finally click into place.

Previously, Mom told me that Hinata-san protected us. But, from what? How
exactly? How did Hinata-san… or rather, how did Sekiguchi Tsubaki-san die
back then? The question that has been buried in my chest is resurfacing.

“The name of the murdered girl was [Sekiguchi Tsubaki], my dear friend……
And the name of the woman who murdered her was [Kurasaka Yagura], your
grandmother.”
 Mur…dered?

By my grandma?

“No… way.”
“It’s the truth. How about asking your mom later? I’m sure she will tell you.”

From what I can tell, Mom seems to hate Grandma. That’s why she never said
anything when I asked her about my grandparents. The only thing she ever told
me is that both of them have already passed away. In my earliest memories,
Mom and I were already living with the Sekiguchis. We moved into our current
house when I was in grade school.

I’ve never visited the mansion where Mom used to live, not even once. I’ve never
met any relatives from the Kurasaka family, either. Since I was a child, I’ve
always thought that my family circumstances are quite peculiar, and I wondered
why no one ever told me anything about it.

(Aah, I see…)

Because there had always been some distance between me and Mom, I couldn’t
bear to ask. I kept all the questions buried deep in my heart. I could’ve asked
Uncle and Auntie Sekiguchi about it, or even Rumi-san. The reason I never did is
perhaps because I had sensed something when I was still a child.

(If… what she says is true…)

Mom had been putting her distance from me, thinking that [she couldn’t give me
happiness] for such a long time.

The fact that her beloved person was killed by her own mother, had Mom been
carrying the guilt by herself all this time? What did the Sekiguchis feel as they
cared for me since I was little? What did they feel as they raised me?
How was Hinata-san able to visit the grave of the person who took her life so
calmly? How can she stay in love with the daughter of the one who had killed
her, and also smile along with me, who is that person’s granddaughter?

I’ve always been protected by everyone around me. They would encourage me
when I’m facing a difficult time, cry along with me when I’m feeling sad, and
laugh together during fun times. They would support me when it’s painful, and
they would be there to push my back when I’m hesitating.

Like it’s the most natural thing, they said that we’re families.

(They’re just…)

…so kind like that.

The people around me are really, helplessly kind——and warm.

“Uh… uuh… sniff”

I begin to sob, and tears flow from my eyes. All the affections that I’ve received
are welling forth, forming drops of tears that are trickling down my cheeks.

“…Does it hurt? Knowing that one of your family was a murderer?”

“No, that’s not it… I’m just… You made me realize all over again just how much
I’m blessed and loved by everyone.”

I look at her without caring to wipe my tears.

It’s as she says, it hurts knowing that my own grandmother was the one who
killed Sekiguchi Tsubaki-san. It hurts so much. But, Mom, Hinata-san, everyone
must have had it much, much worse than me. It would be rude of me to look sad
around them when they’ve already regained their smiles. I can’t bring up the
past that they’ve managed to overcome.

…They’re always thinking of me in a way more than I can ever imagine. I’ve
finally come to understand that after all this time.

“That’s unfortunate. I thought I could’ve made your lives more miserable with
that.”

It’s hard to tell whether she’s joking or serious from her expression. But either
way, our bond will remain firm. It won’t get destroyed a second time.

I wipe my tears and look ahead of me.

“I’m not a child anymore. Besides… Mom is already living for the future.”
“I see…”

“And, I believe I haven’t introduced myself. My name is Kurasaka Tsubaki.”

The woman looks surprised when she hears my name.

It’s the name that I inherited from her friend, Mom’s childhood friend, as well as
the girl who had protected me——a name which carries so many meanings and
wishes behind it. To tell the truth, I’m not living up to my own name. But even
so, I love the name [Tsubaki].
“I already left this town before you were born, so I never knew about your
name… Still, to think that she named you after her, I find it a bit unexpected.”

When Mom gave me this name, perhaps it was to punish herself. It’s so that she
would never forget about her own guilt, forever. She didn’t want her sacrifice to
be left and forgotten.

But even so, I’m proud to bear this name.

“Aah, come to think of it, I haven’t introduced myself, either. I’m Sawamura
Akari. I was from here, too, but I landed a job in a faraway place after I
graduated from high school. I’ve just returned recently because of…
circumstances.”

Then, Sawamura-san looks around the area, squinting her eyes as she reminisces.

“I suppose it’s been 18 years since I left this town… since that incident.”

I can feel the wind gently brushing my cheeks, and I can hear the sound of
rustling leaves around us. Since there’s no one here but Sawamura-san and I, the
place feels really quiet.

“Although I’d always thought of returning here… I was scared. Even now,
there’s this turmoil inside my chest. I can’t forget about that person, I still can’t
accept the truth… I’m trapped in the past, even though I’m supposed to be start
facing the future after coming back to this place……”

She buries her face in her hands, uttering those words with much struggle.
Looking at Sawamura-san agitates me, because it feels as though I’m looking at
Mom from the past.

(Could it be that——)
“Tsubaki?”

“Eh? Mom?”

Hearing that familiar voice, I turn around to see that it’s really Mom. She looks at
me with a smile on her face, before moving her gaze towards Sawamura-san
who’s sitting next to me.

“You… aren’t you…”

“It’s been a long time, Kurasaka Hiori.”
“………”

Mom frowns as she stares at Sawamura-san. The two of them are glaring at each
other, forming a hostile air around them.

“…What kind of conversation were you having with my daughter, I wonder?”

“Just a bit about the incident 18 years ago. She didn’t seem to know about it, so I
told her.”
“……A needless meddling. I had planned to tell Tsubaki about it myself
eventually.”

Mom is biting her lips while glaring at the woman next to me with abhorrence.

“Is that so? Then let me apologize. Ah, don’t worry, I only met Tsubaki-chan by
coincidence. She’s the exact image of you, only her appearance, though.”

Sawamura-san looks at both of us in turn and says that as though in admiration.

Mom sighs, seemingly in exasperation, as she looks towards my direction.

“Tsubaki, go on home. I’ll explain about everything that you heard later…”
“It’s alright.”

Mom looks visibly pale.

I’m quite certain that she’s getting flustered because I’ve ended up knowing
what she had been hiding from me. But, you know, I’m no longer the same as
myself from two years ago. You don’t need to worry about me anymore. I won’t
get upset and run away like that time.

“Please take your time and chat… I’m fine.”

“…I will.”

Although Mom looks surprised for a bit, she soon returns to her usual poker
face. Similarly, Mom is not the same as she was in the past, either.

That’s why, I’m sure it’ll all turn out alright.

I’m going to take the shopping bags with me, but Mom tells me to leave them to
her. It seems that she had wanted to take a taxi home, but changed her mind and
walked all the way here instead. And so, I leave empty-handed. Apparently,
Mom will be carrying the heavy things home for me. With a taxi, of course.

Leaving the two alone in the park, I trudge along the path.

“Haah…”

I heave a sigh. I learned about the truth that Mom had kept a secret from me.
Nevertheless, it came to me as a shock. Although, if I had learned about it before
I met Hinata-san, I might have ended up running away again. I’m glad to know
that I’ve become more mature.

(I want to meet Hinata-san.)

My feet are bringing me to her workplace on their own. The store where she’s
working is located near the park, so it doesn’t take long for me to arrive.
Although I’m thinking of entering… I refrain.

(I wonder what kind of face I should make when I meet Hinata-san. What should
I say to her?)

I lean on a wall outside the store. If I wait here, I will meet Hinata-san when she
leaves work. But, I’m not confident that I can act as I usually do when I see her.

(What do I do?)
While I’m still pondering and hesitant about it, Hinata-san appears from the
door. Her countenance brightens when she notices me. She comes my way while
smiling and waving her hand. When I look at her, I can feel something hot rising
from the bottom of my heart.

“It’s rare for you to come see me here. Although, you should’ve come inside
instead of waiting out here.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to bother you.”
“Ahaha, you don’t need to worry about that. Just come in without thinking too
much about it next time, okay?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I’m going to quit soon, though. Ah, they gave me some leftovers, so let’s
eat it together when we reach home. There’s only one, but it’s big, so we can slice
it to three parts.”

She peeks into the paper bag that she’s carrying, smiling so happily. It seems that
Hinata-san really loves her sweets.

“Is Hiori home already?”

“Mom… is going to be late, I think.”
“Ah, I see. Hmm— I’m sure it’s going to taste better if everyone eats it together,
so shall we hold it off till then?”
“I… suppose.”
“…Tsubaki?”

Hinata-san notices my strange behavior. She peers into my face, looking worried.
Every time I’m troubled, or when I’m feeling sad, she would know right away
and start worrying. There’s nothing I can hide from her.

“I met Sawamura Akari-san earlier.”

I confess it to her. Listening to my words, Hinata-san’s cheerful face stiffens in an

instant.

“Akari…?”
“Yes. We talked a bit, about the past.”
“The past?”
“About her relationship with Mom, and about the incident that occurred 18 years
ago.”
“I see… How do I put it… It’s sudden.”
Although Hinata-san makes a troubled smile, her expression turns sharp in the
next instant.

“…Are you okay, Tsubaki?”

“I’m fine. But, Mom is currently talking with her in the nearby park.”
“I see.”

Listening to Hinata-san’s gentle voice is making me tear up. So, I look down in
order to hide it from her.

“Hinata-san, do you hate my grandma, for taking your life?”

“Nope.”
“Why…?”
“We only had an unfortunate misunderstanding. Besides, I was the one who
invited my own death, so Hiori’s mother was not completely to blame.”
“But, in the end, isn’t it Grandma’s fault that Hina… that Tsubaki-san had to die?
Even though you still had a long path ahead in your life, she had blocked it off
just like that, you know?”
“Even so, I have no regrets. Whether or not I was reincarnated back into this
world, I can say for sure that I don’t bear any grudge. As long as Hiori and her
child could live happily, that was all I needed.”

Right, that’s just the kind of person she is.

Thinking of other people’s happiness as her own… she’s unthinkably good-

natured like that.

“……~Hinata-san!”
“Aah, geez, don’t cry.”

When Hinata-san gently wipes the tears that are spilling from my eyes, I can’t
hold myself from hugging her. Then She laughs, calling me a spoiled child. She
pats my head and combs my hair with her fingers.

“…She didn’t tell you about the motive… or about your father, did she?”
“No, she didn’t… There’s still more to the story, isn’t there?”
“Sorry, Tsubaki. Although if you wish for it, I’m sure Hiori will tell you
someday. Wait patiently until then, okay?”
“Yes, I understand.”
If it’s going to make Mom sad, then I think I’d be better off not knowing about it.
To me, the present is more important than the past. And, I’m sure that’s what
Mom and Hinata-san would wish from me.

“Tsubaki, are you happy right now?”

“Of course I am.”
“Yup, then everything is okay!”

Hinata-san lets me go and smiles without concern.

(She’s… a really incredible person.)

I wonder if her open-mindedness stems from all the experiences that she have
obtained in her lives, or if it’s a trait that she already has with her. But, there’s no
doubt that both her brightness and kindness are something ingrained in her
personality. That must be how people like Sawamura-san gathered around
Tsubaki-san and adored her… It doesn’t change even after she became Hinata-
san. Her family, Sawamura-san, her friends, and Mom, everyone really loves her.

And I love her, too.

In a special way.

“Tsubaki, let’s go home.”

“Yes.”

——I had fallen in love with Hinata-san from a long time ago.
It was a romantic feeling, like the one Mom has towards her——

Recently, my romantic feelings have started changing to that of a familial love,

but the amount of my affection remains the same. I don’t think these feelings will
ever abate even in the future. It’s a first love that will never bear fruit. Although,
since I’m still able to stay next to her in a special position, it’s more than enough
for me.

“…If I ever date someone, I think it’s going to be a person like you, Hinata-san.”
“Haah?!”

When I mutter without much thinking, Hinata-san reacts to those words quite
exaggeratingly. She grasps both my shoulders and looms over my face.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait! Hold on a second!! Tsubaki, you need to have higher
ideals for yourself!! Don’t stop at someone like me! In fact, I won’t approve
anyone who’s not at least better than me!!”
“Eh? Eh?!”

I think my ideals are already high as is. I’m not sure where I can find a person as
wonderful as Hinata-san. Since I want to stay with Mom and Hinata-san, I’m fine
with not finding my own romance for a while. Although, I wonder if I will be
able to properly fall in love in the future.

“…Ahem. I was half-joking just now. Tsubaki, if you find someone you love, I-I’ll
be rooting for you.”
“Thank you very much.”
Hinata-san’s face is stiff for some reason, which I find it amusing. She’s strangely
stuttering, too.

“Hinata-san, would you mind if we hold hands?”

“Go ahead.”

To her consent, I grasp her hand without reserve. Just holding her warm and
slim hand gives me a piece of mind.

And so, we walk towards home with our hands linked together.

I’ve always been protected, but someday, I want to be one who protects someone
else. I want to live in a way where I can firmly say that I don’t leave any regrets.

Just like the girl who’s walking next to me, the one who gave me happiness.
 Two Sides of a Coin ＊2

Even now… I cannot remember how I lived during the several months after I lost
Tsubaki. At that time, I was rejecting reality, the fact that I could not meet
Tsubaki anymore. Hence, I stopped thinking entirely. Otherwise, I would be
overwhelmed by the heartrending guilt and sorrow within me, crushing me
underfoot.

However, it does not mean that I have forgotten everything that happened.
There are still faint pieces of memories that remain.

Although I cannot make out the details, I remember attending Tsubaki’s funeral.
It seems that I was brought by the Sekiguchis to the ceremonial hall, and I sat
somewhere inconspicuous. I heard other attendees speaking and their sobbing,
but it did not register in my head. Everything came as static in my ears.

But this, I clearly remembered——the words that one of the attendees said in my
face.

I was sitting on a chair with my head cast down, when she approached. She was
one of the few people that I could call my acquaintance. She was wearing all
black, which was the same attire as mine. She looked horrible because she did
not bother wiping the tears on her face. Then, she bared her hatred towards me.
She glared at me fiercely, as though she was going to murder me.

[It’s your fault!! It’s all your fault that Tsubaki died!!]

She grasped my collar and pulled my whole body towards her, but I did not do
anything to resist. Her shouts of abuse, as well as her scornful eyes did not come
as painful for me. Far from it, I felt comforted instead.

Because… nobody would blame me.

She was the only one who would tell me straight up that I was to blame for
Tsubaki’s death. Her unadulterated words pierced my heart, and they remain
even now.

[I’ll never forgive you.]

She said the same words over and over as she screamed. And I simply listened.

[Never!]

It would be much easier if everyone came to hate me. I wanted them to drive me
to a corner. I wanted someone, anyone, to pluck my right to keep living.

After all, there was no way I could meet her anymore.

My life had lost its meaning. I wanted to die and went to her side.

But ironically, the grudge that she poured on me became the chain that bound
me to this world.

Tsubaki died to protect me. If I died, what she did would become meaningless.
Sawamura Akari’s words brought me to realize that. Besides, it would be
unforgivable for me to seek peace by dying. After what happened, I was not
qualified to follow after her.

It was my fault that Tsubaki had passed away. Therefore, I had to live to atone
for it. For her sake, for the sake of the people related to her, I would live and
keep living… I had to carry on until I drew my last regardless of how painful,
how sorrowful, and how lonely it would be. I might not attain forgiveness for the
rest of my life, but still I would continue to atone.

That was the [punishment] for my sin.

That was what…

…my weak and brittle self had believed all this time.
＊

Tsubaki has gone on the way home, which leaves the two of us alone in the
public park. The sun has set before I knew it, and our surroundings has turned
completely dark. The temperature has started to drop, and I can feel the cold
wind brushing against my hair.

“…Has it been since the funeral?”

“Indeed.”

I did not imagine that a day would come when I could speak to her like this
again. I know that she despises me, so I believed that she would never appear in
front of me anymore. Perhaps it was pure coincidence that we meet in this place.
It is impossible that she would return expressly to meet me.

“I heard that you were employed far from town.”

“Yes. Although I had planned to attend a local university, I changed my mind

and searched for a job instead. In the end, I joined an acquaintance’s company,
and I was working there until recently.”

“……I see.”

“If I had stayed in this town, I would keep being reminded of her. Actually, I
didn’t intend to return here, but there are things that I must do.”

She squints and heaves a sigh.

“Even though I had resolved myself, it’s still tough. The town has changed here
and there, but the scenery brings me back… and I end up recalling various
things. Still, I really didn’t expect to meet you right after I returned.”
I am just as surprised. I thought my heart would stop when I saw her with my
daughter. Her hatred towards me runs deep, so I suspected that she approached
my daughter with a scheme in mind. Naturally, I am still wary of her right now.
It is anybody’s guess what she might do.

There was a period when I would gladly accept her grudge, but not anymore. I
am now carrying what I will never concede to anyone—my treasures. My life is
no longer mine alone. That is why I cannot give it away to her so simply.

“Don’t glare at me like that. I assure you, I didn’t return all the way here for
revenge, okay?”
“I wonder. In fact, didn’t you blabber to my daughter just earlier?”

“I won’t do a petty thing like revenge after all this time. Although, meeting your
daughter made me recall the past. I ended up wanting to play some pranks… on
you, I mean.”

“…If you want to vent yourself, do it directly to me. Don’t involve my daughter
in this.”
“Yes, you’re right. I didn’t come back to this town for something like that.
Rather, I’m here to make the clear of it.”

She slowly rises from the bench and stands in front of me. She draws in a quick
breath before giving me a sharp glare.

“I have no intention to hurt you in any way… but I have always despised you.”
“It’s a matter of course. Tsubaki died because I involved her in my personal
problems.”

If only I did not turn to her, if only I could solve it all on my own, Tsubaki would
not have died back then. That is why her resentment against me is justified. The
victim herself might not have blamed me for it, but the sin for indirectly leading
her to death will never fade.

“True, that was what I thought at that time. You brought troubles to my close
friend, you let her suffer and die. To tell the truth, I knew that you weren’t
completely at fault, but I didn’t want to admit it. That’s why I… all this time… I
sought for the easy way out. I blamed everything on you, I resented you, all to let
me forget about my sadness for losing Tsubaki.”
“………”

“I only wanted an excuse, a facade, to despise you. After all, I had always
despised you, long before that incident. It wasn’t out of hatred, though——I was
simply jealous of you.”

“Yes, I know. After all, you and I are ‘similar’.”

Sawamura Akari and Tsubaki were best friends. Her name often came up when
Tsubaki was talking to me, and I remember being bored to hear it every time.
Among her many friends, I believed she was the closest to Tsubaki.

Although we attended the same middle school, we had little chance to meet due
to our age gap. Furthermore, since we were separated by two school years, the
period when we could go to the same school was limited to one year. Sawamura
Akari, on the other hand, was the same age as Tsubaki, they were in the same
class, and they even walked the same route in the morning. She could always be
with Tsubaki at school. It was the source of my envy… and jealousy.

But out of school, I would be the one who gets to monopolize Tsubaki. I
suspected Sawamura Akari was jealous of me because of that. After all, Tsubaki
would come to meet me almost every day when the school was over.

“I loved Tsubaki, more than a close friend. I had a habit of saying the first thing
that popped in my mind without caring for the mood. I couldn’t make a single
friend because of it. But, she accepted an idiot like me… she stayed with me. That
was how I came to love her.”

She and I are alike. We possessed the same feelings. It might have been the
reason we could not get along. We were jealous of each other.

“Although Tsubaki was special to me, it wasn’t like that for her. It was really
vexing for me to admit it. To her, that special person… was you.”

I listen to her words in silence.

“That was why I couldn’t forgive you. You stole everything from me—her heart,
even her life.”
“………”
“In the end, I resented you out of nothing but jealousy. I was simply taking out
my anger on you. Although, it took me so long to realize that. Truly, what a
hopeless idiot I am.”

“…Not that I’m any different.”

She makes a bitter smile and squints. Her smile right now might be the most
gentle expression that she has ever shown to me.

“——You know what? I’m married.”

“…Ah.”

When I look at her left hand, I can see an expensive ring decorating her ring
finger. She gazes at her wedding ring and caresses it.

“…I see. Congratulations, I’m glad for you.”

“Thank you. I didn’t think that I would ever hear those words from you.”

After caressing her left hand, she places her right hand over her stomach.
Although I did not notice at first because of baggy clothes, her belly is bulging to
some extent.

“Could it be that you’re…”

“You guessed right. Actually I was told not to walk about too much. When I was
feeling nauseous earlier, your daughter called out to me with a worried look on
her face.”
“Sigh… Be obedient and stay at home when you’re feeling unwell.”
“But there are places that I have to visit.”
“Places?”
“Hmm… One of them would be your house. I want to apologize for pushing all
the blame, for saying those cruel words to you in the past. However, I couldn’t
quite make out the resolve to meet you. I’m glad that I ran into you here.”

“You don’t need to apologize. You said nothing wrong.”

“Yes, I do. In fact, it’s necessary for me to. I’m not saying that I can forgive you
completely, but I won’t be able to rest easy if I don’t apologize to you.”
Then, she bows her head and makes her apology. It is unnecessary, but if she
needs it to break away from the shackles of the past… I accept it without saying
anything more.

“The other place that I must visit is…… her grave.”

“…I see.”
“I have returned to this town to confront the past that I’ve been running away
from… so that I can face the future without looking back. That’s why I have to go
and see her. Besides, her death anniversary is near.”
“………”
“Perhaps it’s brazen of me to pay her a visit after all this time. Maybe she doesn’t
want someone like me to stand in front of her grave.”
“That’s not true. She’ll be overjoyed if she knows that you’ve returned to this
town… as much as I don’t want to admit it.”
“You think?”
“Yes.”

My grouchy words sprout a wry smile on her face.

“It seems to me that you aren’t bound by the past anymore. You look different
from the last time I saw you… or should I say, it’s as though you’ve become a
different person.”

Just like her, I had been living while shackled by the past. While she tried to run
away from it, I could not take my eyes off the bygones.

“It’s because the people around me were too kind for their own good.”

My mind was occupied thinking of myself. I had no room to think about

anything else.

But, her family did not blame me for that. Moreover, the Sekiguchis dealt with
the aftermaths and all the troublesome tasks, when they were supposed to be
carried out by me or my relatives. Their hearts must have been rent when they
lost their precious daughter, but despite everything, Tsubaki’s parents did their
utmost to comfort me and encouraged me with their smiles. Even though the
young Rumi-chan should have hated me for taking her beloved sister away from
her, she did not say any words of spite.
By the time I realized it, I had been staying with the Sekiguchis, living as a part
of their family. In spite of their anguish after losing one of their only two
daughters, the Sekiguchi family did all they could to console and support me.
Afterwards, my irreplaceable daughter was born… and after that, I met my
precious other again.

(Hinata…)

I am truly a blessed person. If they did not reach out to me back then, there is no
doubt that I would not be here today. I would not survive by myself; I might still
be alive, but I would not be able to call that ‘living’.

“Me, too. I met someone who wouldn’t lose to Tsubaki in terms of nosiness.
That’s how I managed to find the resolve to meet you.”

She smiles contentedly. Aah… I am relieved to know that she has found someone
who would support her by her side. We may be on bad terms with each other,
but it does not change the fact that Sawamura Akari is her best friend. She will be
sad if her friend is living in misfortune.

“I feel a huge burden off my shoulders after saying all that.”

“Good for you.”
“Yes, I’m really glad to have returned here. Truly, I’m glad that I could meet you
and talk like this.”
“So am I.”

It may have taken us so long, but we finally managed to change ourselves.

We were the opposites of a coin, striving for the same goal. And now that we
have found different paths in life, we have no reason to oppose each other
anymore.

Besides, both of us are not the same as we were in the olden days anymore. We
need not keep our past enmity with us.

“Akari.”

“Eh?”
When I call her by name, her eyes widen in surprise.

“Give me a call when your child is born. We’ll go see her together, with my
beloved.”

No matter how long it will take, it will be all right. If she can find a way to
forgive me, I would like to change our past relation. I do not mind if she still
despises me… but I want to form a different connection with her.

Is it just a wishful thinking on my part?

“………”

She hangs her mouth open for a while. Then, she nods her head shyly.

“…Yes, I’ll be looking forward to it…… Hiori.”

That is her answer.

After showing the best smile that I have seen from her today, Akari goes on her
way home.

There are other things that I want to talk with her about, but there is no need to
rush. We have many chances to meet again. We might even see each other again
before long.
(Now then…)

After watching her back until she goes out of view, I rise from my seat. Then, I
realize that I have the groceries to bring home. Nevertheless, it makes me
wonder why that girl would buy so much that she had trouble carrying it home.
It must have been difficult for her to carry the shopping bags all the way here.
Well, like my daughter, my strength is nonexistent. It is nigh impossible for me
to carry all these home on foot. Calling the taxi is my only option.

“………”

I look up my contacts to find the phone number of a taxi company. But then, I
decide to open the phone log instead and call a familiar number. I put my cell
phone to my ear, and the call connects after a few rings.

“[Hiori? What’s wrong?]”

Hearing her voice is enough to make me break into a smile. Although, it also
makes me want to hear her voice directly, not through a phone call.

“[Are you okay?]”

“Yes… I just want to hear your voice.”
“[O-ooh… You’re making me blush here. Ah, are you done talking? Where are
you?]”

It seems Hinata already knows that I was with Akari. Tsubaki must have told her
about it.

“I’m still at the park. We just finished talking, so I’m going to book a taxi home.”
“[Okay. I’m at your place right now. Tsubaki and I are preparing for dinner.
Come on home.]”

Aah, now that I recall, she told me that she was going to stay over tonight.
Knowing that we can be together in a longer period fills my chest with happiness
and warmth… But at the same time, I feel a slight prick in my heart.
“Say… Hinata, aren’t you going to talk to her? Are you sure not to tell her?”
“[Hmm— Let me ask you, did Akari seem happy to you?]”
“Well, she’s married. And, it seems that she’s going to have a child soon.”
“[I see. In that case, I don’t think I need to say anything to her. I do want to see
her face after all this time, though.]”
“Don’t worry, the two of you are going to meet soon enough.”
“[Yup.]”

The topic comes to an end, and both of us stay silent for a while.

“[Aah… I brought some leftover cake from my part-time. Let’s eat it together
with Tsubaki when you get home.]”
“Sure.”
“[Oh yeah, do you want to try sleeping together sometimes, the three of us? I
think your new bed will fit.]”
“…Sure.”

I wonder why.

“[Then, be careful on your way home. We’re waiting for you.]”

“……hh, sure.”

I do not understand the reason myself.

We are only chatting like usual. But it feels suffocating, and tears start spilling
from my eyes. I am not feeling sad, nor does it hurt anywhere… However, my
chest feels tight for some reason, stimulating my tear glands. Perhaps talking
with Akari makes me remember about the past.

I wipe the tears rolling down my cheeks with my finger and places the cell phone
back to my ear.

“[Hiori?]”

Then, I hear her calling my name with her gentle voice.

“You know…”
After a short pause, I squeeze out my voice, as though in murmur——

And I speak the words that I want to convey the most right now.
 Walking Towards the Future

“Hinata! Get up already! How long do you want to keep sleeping?!”

“Uuh…”

Mom enters my room without knocking and tries to peel the blanket off me
while I’m still sleeping. But, I prevent her from taking it away from me by
clinging to it. Eventually, I lose in the contest of strength and fall to the floor
along with the blanket.

I shield my body from the shivering cold by rolling around the blanket,
wrapping myself in it. Seeing that I don’t want to separate from my safe haven at
all costs, Mom makes an exaggerated sigh.

“Hi~na~ta~”
“Let me sleep for two more hours…”
“You can’t! You had a promise with Hiori-san and the others, didn’t you?!
You’re going to be late if you don’t wake up soon.”
“Then, just 10 more minutes…”
“Geez, if you won’t get up, I’ll give you a morning kiss, you know?”

“…gasp?!”
Sensing a threat approaching my lips, I roll on the floor to escape from my
mother’s mouth-to-mouth contact, all while I’m still wrapped in the blanket.

“Hrmm, it was just a bit more!”

“Haah… haah…!!”

(That was so close…!)

I-I managed to escape by a hair’s breadth… If I had moved just a bit slower, I
would have experienced the terror that I don’t even want to imagine. What’s
troublesome about Mom is that when she says she’ll do something, she’ll do it
for real. I think she was aiming straight at my mouth earlier.

Meanwhile, Mom is puffing her cheeks in a pout. It seems she’s unhappy

because I ran away from her kiss.
“You don’t need to be so opposed to it~ This is how mothers show their love
towards their daughter, you know?”
“Oh yes, I need to. Your expression of love is definitely too extreme. I’m not
telling you to stop it entirely, but please try to show your love in a different
way.”
“Hmm— What should I do, then?”

After pondering about it for a short while, Mom makes an eerie smile, like she’s
just thought of a good idea. I have a bad feeling about this, but it’s too late for me
to do anything about it. She suddenly gets on top of me while I’m still wrapped
in the blanket. I thought she was going to hug me, but she places her hand on my
head instead. While I’m wondering what it is that she’s trying to achieve, she
moves her hand over my hair that was disheveled in my sleep, caressing it
slowly.

“There, there.”
“………”

I guess… she’s patting my head? Well, yup, it’s indeed a sensible way to show
her motherly love. That is, if I were to ignore the slightly weird positions we’re
in.

“Hinata-tan is a good girl~”

“…I take it back, please spare me from this kind of torture, as well.”

I’m no longer a small child, so getting my head patted like this feels quite
embarrassing. Although I want to resist, I can’t really move in my current state.
She’s patting me unilaterally. Trying to roll around the floor like earlier doesn’t
help because she’s preventing it by pressing her body against me.

“~hh! Aah, geez! I get it already! I’m getting up, okay?! Move aside, will you?”
“Nfufu, very well.”

There’s a satisfied look on her face as she releases me after I say uncle. I wonder
why she’s letting me go so easily. But taking the positive side, I can now unwrap
myself from the blanket. Then, I rush to get myself up.

“Good morning, Hinata.”

“Morning.”
…Uuh~ why do I feel like I’ve just run a marathon? I feel tired even though I’ve
just woken up.

“Hurry up and get ready. Your food’s going to get cold.”

“Okay, okay.”
“Don’t go back to sleep, okay~?”
“I know already.”

I wait for Mother to leave the room and confirm that she has finally left with my
own eyes. Then, I put my hands on my pajamas in order to start taking them off.
While I’m yawning in my drowsiness——

“Ah, by the way, today’s breakfast is…”

“Hogyaaa?!”

Mom, whom I thought was heading for the living room, has appeared again
through the door. I end up letting out a silly yelp in surprise. It’s not that I feel
embarrassed to be seen while I’m changing or something. She’s my own mother,
after all. But, I fear that she’s going to do something again, and I can’t keep my
composure. It seems my shriek is amusing to her, since she’s giggling to herself.

“Gosh, what was that yelp? Hina-tan, you’re so cute!”

“Gaaah! Get out already!!”

Mom doesn’t even seem to flinch even though I’m practically yelling at her. She
calmly leaves through the door in good humor. This time, I strain my ears to hear
her footsteps, making sure that she’s really walking down the corridor. She’s
headed to the living room for sure, so I can be relieved for now. I’ve wasted so
much energy first thing in the morning. Honestly, I feel dog-tired.

(Haah… I didn’t get much sleep, either…)

Normally, I would fall asleep as soon as I tuck myself in bed. It was so unlike me
to be unable to sleep last night. My thoughts kept wandering to today’s plans,
and I ended up sleeping for only half the usual amount. In my whole two lives,
this is my first time losing sleep due to nervousness of all things.

“Fwaah… So sleepy~”
My eyelids feel so heavy that it’s hard to keep them open. My vision is blurry,
and rubbing my eyes doesn’t seem to help. Mgh— nope, nope. I better get a grip
on myself on this important date.

I lightly clap my cheeks to drive the sleepiness away.

“Alright!”

I don’t have much time left until the meeting, so I can’t dilly-dally here. I get
back to changing my clothes and shake off the allure of going back to sleep.

After I get dressed, I go to the living room and eat breakfast in a hurry. “Chew
properly when you eat,” says Mom from the kitchen. But I don’t have the time
for that. I’m literally pushing the meal down my throat, and I silently apologize
for not enjoying my meal like I should. I tell Mother that I’m leaving before
heading straight to the entranceway.

“Hm? Onee-chan, going out somewhere?”

As soon as I exit the living room, I bump into Saki, who seems to have just
woken up. It’s a holiday, so she’s still in her cat-print pajamas. Childish clothes
really suit her, with how petite and cute she is. Although, I keep those words to
myself because she’ll kick me for real if I say it aloud.

“I think I already told you about it, though. There’s a place I need to go today. I
think I’m going to be home late.”
“Really? Oh, well. See you—”
“Yup, I’m heading off.”
“Ah, I forgot to mention it earlier. You have strawberry jam sticking to the side of
your mouth.”
“You’re kidding!!”

That’s dangerous. Hiori and Tsubaki will laugh at me if they see me with a jam
sticking to my mouth. I take out my handkerchief in a fluster and wipe around
my lips, but Saki bursts laughing instead. W-what’s wrong? I thought I have
wiped it properly, but did I miss some?
“Pfft, khukhu, gotcha! There’s no strawberry jam or anything.”
“Eh? …ah… AAAAAAH?!”

Now that I think about it, my breakfast today was in Japanese style, unlike the
usual. There’s no way there would be strawberry jam on my mouth when I
didn’t have toast in the first place. Now that I look at the handkerchief, it has no
stains on it.

“S-Sakiii! You tricked me!!”

“Ee~h? I thought you would’ve realized it, though~ Aren’t you still half-asleep?”

Out of the frying pan into the fire. Why do both Mom and Saki love to ridicule
me first thing in the morning? I want them to try and put themselves in my
shoes, but I’ve long since given up. Getting mad seems to have no effect
whatsoever on them.

“So, are you awake now?”

“I guess.”
“Heheh, you should be grateful.”

Wow, she’s so smug. My drowsiness and tension are mostly gone thanks to her,
but I’m not feeling happy about it for some reason.

(Oh well…)

I can’t get angry at my dear little sister when she’s smiling in such good humor.
Actually, I find her actions cute instead. I think that I dote on her considerably,
with the way I easily forgive everything she does and all. Even though she keeps
making fun of me, even when we fight… I can’t just leave her alone. I’m sure this
is what it means to have a little sister.

“Hey, I think you need to go. You’re going to be yelled at if you’re late. Weren’t
you in a hurry?”
“Ah, you’re right. See you, Saki.”
“Yeaah, see you—”

Says Saki as she waves goodbye to me. I turn around to the door and open it. The
meeting spot is as usual—Hiori’s house which is just next door. Although… it
seems I don’t have to walk there anymore.
“You’re late, Hinata.”
“Good morning, Hinata-san.”

The people who I have promised to meet with are already here in front of me.

“GOOD MORNING.” (in a robotic voice)

It’s clear as day that I’ve made Hiori angry. Meanwhile, Tsubaki is standing next
to her with a wry smile. They must have come to fetch me because I’m late. I’m
sure they would’ve come barging into my room if I was late for another ten
minutes.

“I believed I had told you not to be late. You never change, do you?”
“I-I’m sorry.”

Somehow, there’s this pressure that compels me to use a polite tone as I speak. I
feel intimidated by Hiori’s glare, and being a scaredy-cat I am, I shift my gaze
towards Tsubaki.

“But, I think Hinata-san has already put some effort into it. If it were the usual,
she would be late for at least 20 minutes.”
“A-ahaha, my sincerest apologies.”

“You’re only 10 minutes late today,” says Tsubaki with a smile. Although she’s
genuinely trying to give me solace, I feel depressed when she reaffirms the fact
like that. Well, it’s my bad habit at work, okay? Believe it or not, I’m more of an
early-riser nowadays compared to the past.

“Alright, we should start moving. We’re used to it by now, but you can’t cause
trouble for other people by being unpunctual.”
“You’re right.”
“Yes.”

We’ll be late for the meeting if we keep dawdling around.

“It was the right decision to meet up earlier.”

“Ugh… Y-you’re right—”
“Fufu. Ah, Hinata-san, you have a cowlick at the back of your head.”
“No way!!”
“…Good grief, as a girl, you need to pay attention to your own appearance.”
“I’ll take note of it… Tsubaki, you’re cute as always.”
“T-thank you very much.”
“Stop making advances with my daughter first thing in the morning.”
“No, I wasn’t…”

It’s a clear weather today, and we walk towards our destination while talking
about trivial things. It’s a place with deep ties to us and the people whom we’re
going to meet. They’re already waiting for us. I had been pondering if I should
be coming along, but they’re all asking me to.

After walking through the quiet residential area, we finally reach our objective.
Although it seems that Hiori comes to visit every year, I’ve only been in that
place once. It was where I found Tsubaki when I was looking for her, which
happened a few years ago. We pass through the gate in silence and head towards
the meeting spot. We walk along a pathway which is fenced with trees, which
make it feel gloomy and bleak even though it’s still midday. After exiting what
felt like a small forest, we reach an open location with many rows of gravestones.

“Ah, here they are.”

Noticing our arrival, Rumi waves her hand towards us. The couple behind her
are waving their hands, too. They smile gently when they see us. I’ve met them a
few times since I came to this town, but my heart still feels restless whenever I
see them.

They’re my… rather, they’re Sekiguchi Tsubaki’s parents who had raised her for
18 years. We’re no longer tied by blood, but even so, I still think of them as my
precious parents. We might have a different relationship now, but I’m content
just to be able to speak with them again. Although, my own nostalgia and
awkwardness hinders me from interacting with them normally, which makes
Hiori break into a smile every time.

“Thank you for taking the time to join us this year as well.”
“Don’t mention it. I’m here because I wish to be.”

Hiori gives a slight bow in salutation, so Tsubaki and I lower our heads, too.

“And thank you for coming, Tsubaki-chan, Hinata-chan. I’m sure that child is
happy to see you.”
Mom looks so happy to see us. Then, she shifts her gaze towards a certain
direction—the gravestone. There are several potted flowers and various kinds of
offerings placed in front of it. It seems there are previous guests—the incense
sticks are still burning, wafting a peculiar scent to the air.

“Her friends were here just earlier.”

“………”
“Let’s burn some incense ourselves.”
“Yes.”

Guided by my former parents, I stand before the grave that I saw once or twice a
few years back. The tombstone is etched with [Sekiguchi Family] at the front. If I
look from the side, I’m sure I’ll find my name carved there. Even after all these
years, it still feels strange to stand in front my own grave.

“[Tsubaki], we’re here.”

That’s right——Today is Sekiguchi Tsubaki’s death anniversary, a date that only

comes once a year.

It’s the day when the previous me died.

That’s the reason we’re gathered here in the cemetery. While Hiori and Tsubaki
are already considered as part of the family, I don’t have any superficial reason
to be accompanying them. It makes me wonder if I should be here in the first
place.
When Hiori took me to visit the Sekiguchis a while back, they told me, “If Hiori-
san thinks of you as her family, then you are like a family to us, too,” and invited
me to visit their daughter’s grave together. How do I say it… they’re so big-
hearted like that, and they’re amazing. I’m not sure about my amiable Mother,
but Father might have guessed my relationship with Hiori with his sharp
intuition… I don’t think they realize that I’m their daughter who has died and
reincarnated, though.

Placing an incense stick, Father claps his hands together and closes his eyes. With
that as a cue, everyone puts their own hands together, lower their heads, and
close their eyes. I follow suit. After offering a silent prayer for about a minute, I
open my eyes and raise my head to look at the grave again.

“It’s been 18 years… Somehow, time sure flies.”

“I see. It’s been so long.”

Father and Mother speak in a gentle voice towards the tombstone. I can’t see
their faces from where I’m standing, so I don’t know what kind of expression
they’re wearing right now. The only parts that are visible to me are their backs
with their hands still held together in front of them.

“You were a bit dimwitted like me, but you were sensitive to people’s feelings
like Dad. You were a kind girl. I’m always concerned that you might be worried
about us even after you died, thinking that you might have made us sad.”

“……”

“True, that’s why I know full well that you wouldn’t give up your life so simply.
I’m sure you had something that you wouldn’t let go even though you had to
risk your life for it. That’s why, my daughter, I’m not blaming you for dying
before us. But even so… as your parents, we still wanted you to live.”

“……”

“It really pained us when you died, Tsubaki. We felt so sad. And so did everyone
who knew you. But, we understand that’s not what you would want. If we come
to meet you with sorrowful expressions, you’re only going to take be sad, aren’t
you? We know that… and that’s why we’re smiling for you right now.”

“Hh!”
Noticing my own gasp, I close my mouth in a fluster. I bite my lips hard to keep
myself from speaking out of place.

“You don’t need to worry about the two of us. Please watch over Rumi, Hiori-
san, and her child instead. But knowing you, Tsubaki, you might have been
watching over them all this time. Maybe we didn’t even need to ask you at all.”

“Fufu, that sounds like what she would do.”

Father and Mother are smiling in front of the grave. They sound so encouraging,
making sure that they won’t make me sad.

“……”

I can feel a soft sensation on my hands. My trembling left hand is being clasped
by Hiori, while she keeps her gaze towards the grave. And Tsubaki grasps my
other hand. She doesn’t say anything to me, but I notice her watery eyes as she
looks at the front, like her mother. I can feel the warmth from my both hands,
and it’s soothing my heart.

“Are you watching, Tsubaki? The baby that you saved back then has grown so
big… You can carry yourself with pride.”

I can feel their grasping my hands tighter.

I keep silent as I listen to my parents conversing with ‘myself’. Each and every
word they utter is wrenching my heart, threatening to release all the emotions
that I’ve been keeping in my chest. I want to convey it, but I know it won’t lead
to a good thing. I can’t say it.
I listen to my family’s feelings without saying anything in return.

That’s the only thing I can do right now.

(…I’m sorry.)
Mother gave birth to me, but I could only live as far as 18 years. They raised me,
pouring all of their affection for me, but I wasn’t able to repay them. I’m sorry for
not being able to say anything to you.

My life as Sekiguchi Tsubaki was short, but I can say for sure that I had a blessed
life. I’m really glad that you gave birth to Rumi and I both. I’m proud to have
you as my parents.

“We’ll never forget about you, Tsubaki.”

Me, neither.

Dad, Mom, I’ll always remember the warmth that you gave me.

(…Thank you.)

This time, I’m going to live until the end. I’m going to live two lives’ worth, of
both Sekiguchi Tsubaki and Hayase Hinata. And in my final moments, I’ll say, “I
had a happy life,” with my head held high.

I look up towards the cloudless blue sky, as I swear solemnly.

“Alright, let’s go back.”

After cleaning around the grave for the most part, all that’s left is for us to leave
this place. Rumi suggested that we should all get together at the Sekiguchis and
have a party, which received unanimous support. It goes without saying that
they’re including me in it… But before that, I have something that I must tell that
person.

I know that I must say it to her. Although I tell that to myself every time, my lack
of courage forbids me from speaking. This is the reason I was nervous all night
and ended up waking up late this morning. Well, the fact that I would meet with
my Sekiguchi parents and visit my own grave increased my nervousness even
more.

“Nee-san, you’re going to tell Hiori-san about it today, aren’t you?”

“Y-yup. That’s the plan.”

While I’m deliberating whether I should tell her now or a bit later, Rumi
approached me and asked in a whisper. It seems that she roughly knows about
my inner situation, which has caused her to worry.

“Ahaha, your nervousness is showing in your face, you know? It isn’t like you to
be so nervous, Nee-san.”
“Gh… I-I can’t help it, okay? It’s an important matter.”
“I think it’ll all be okay, though. Go on, the earlier the better, right? How about
you go and tell her now?”
“A-alright!”
“We’ll go on ahead, so… good luck.”

Says Rumi as she gives me a light push on the back.

Geez, she should be worrying about herself instead of me. She’s already in the
latter half of her twenties, but she doesn’t even have a lover yet. As her elder
sister, I’m worried. Although, this is one thing that can only be decided by the
person in question. In the end, I can’t meddle too much in her private life.

Well, anyway, I need to go to Hiori right now. My little sister is cheering for me,
so I have to resolve myself and face her.

“Hiori, I need to talk with you, just the two of us.”

“Talk? …Now?”
“If you’re okay with it.”
“I see… Alright then.”

I tell everyone to go on ahead without us. Then, I consider changing the location,
but I’d feel bad to make everyone wait for too long. So, I decide to talk right here.
Although it’s not a topic to be discussed in a cemetery, I guess the location
doesn’t really matter as long as I can convey the words to her properly.

“……”

We’re looking at my grave. I’ve prepared the words that I want to tell her
beforehand. But when it comes to it, my head suddenly goes blank. I’ve forgotten
about everything that I want to say. Umm… aah… what do I do? First, break the
ice. Wait, what did I want to talk about again? Oh no, I’m getting so confused.
The words won’t come out at all.

“…Haah.”

Hiori seems to have grown tired of waiting for me to speak as she heaves a sigh.
Haha…… It’s really pathetic of me.

“Somehow or other, I can guess what you want to talk about.”

“Eh?”
“It’s about your future course after graduating, right? You told me that you were
going on to a university, but you never said where.”
“Y-yup.”

I’ve told Tsubaki about it, but I told her to keep it a secret from Hiori because I
want to tell her myself. I intended to keep silent about the university that I’m
going to attend until it’s time. She never asked me about it, either. But it’s not
because she doesn’t care. Most likely, she’s been waiting for me to come out with
it.

“So, where will you go? …Is it somewhere far?”

“It’s a bit far, but it’s still a distance where I can commute from home. About one
hour or so by train, I guess.”
“I see.”

She must have thought that I was going far away because I was hiding it from
her. She looks relieved when she hears my answer. Hrm… it actually makes me
happy to see that reaction from her. I suppress myself from forming a grin on my
face as I struggle to keep a serious expression.

“I’m going to attend a culinary school, which is focused on pastries. I’m going to
learn how to make sweets for two years, and… I want to become a patissiere in
the future.”

“Hinata…”

“You know, I want to see more people eat the sweets I make… By the time I
realized it, it has turned into a dream that I want to pursue.”

At first, Mom taught me how to bake cookies. Then, I keep baking it for Hiori to
hear her say it’s delicious. In time, making sweets became my hobby. I hadn’t
thought much about it all this time. However, my true desire seems to lie
somewhere deep in my heart. The moment I was aware about my own feelings
towards Hiori, I came to realize it as well.

“It was part of the reason I started working part time at the confectionery store.
It’s beneficial to learn from a real experience. Furthermore, I was able to get
acquainted with some people, thanks to Manager’s consideration.”
“Here I was sure that you went to work there just because you like sweets.”
“Ahaha, that’s the other part of it.”

It’s fun to do the things I like. Working in a place where I can interact my favorite
things is really enjoyable. While it’s not all fun and games, despite the difficulties
that I need to face, I want to pursue this career. Perhaps, there’s going to be an
arduous journey ahead of me. Finding employment like many others might give
me a more steady income…… but I’m sure I’m going to regret it.

“I may have lived almost as long as you, but I could never get out to the society
because I’m still a child. That’s why, I don’t know what lies ahead of me. I feel
anxious to finally reach a place where I’ve never been to. But, that’s exactly why I
want to try doing what I want for myself.”

As Sekiguchi Tsubaki, I died before I could graduate from high school. Although
I didn’t have much regrets with me, God decided to let me live again like this.
Was it just a whim, or something else entirely? I want to make full use of my
second life. But on the other hand, my life no longer belongs to me alone.
“Well, isn’t it fine?”

When I finish telling her all that, she readily lets me to pursue my selfish dream.

“Eh? Are you sure, Hiori? I thought you would be against it.”
“Why?”
“I mean, it’s a childlike dream. I thought you would rebuke me, saying that I’m
being too naive.”

“Idiot. After watching you for so long, I know that you like making sweets so
much that you want to do more with it. For that reason, I’m not going to oppose
your dream. No matter who tells you that they’re against it, I’m here to vouch for
you. I’m going to cheer for you, more than anyone else. Don’t worry about
anything else and do what you like, as much as you want.”

“……Yup. Thank you, Hiori.”

It makes me so happy to know that there’s someone who’s rooting for me. It’s
even more so since it’s coming from my most beloved. Although I think
everyone is also going to cheer for me, Hiori’s encouragement is the one thing
that I need the most.

“Is that all you wanted to talk about?”

“No… there’s one more.”
“?”

Being able to properly talk about my future career takes one load off my mind.
But, I have one more thing to convey to her. To tell the truth, this is going to be
the main point.

“Umm, so… you know, I don’t know how long it will take, but I want to run my
own store in the future. I’m going to sell the sweets I make, and people are going
to come and eat them.”

“That’ll be wonderful. I’m sure you can make it a reality, Hinata.”

The path towards that future is going to be a hard one. To be honest, I’m not sure
if I deserve to dream such a future. But, even so, I don’t want to give it up.

And…

“Um… will you accompany me in my dream, Hiori?”

“Eh?”

“I don’t know yet if I’m going to make it. But, if I manage to have a store of my
own… I want to run it together with you.”
“You mean……”
“I haven’t done anything yet, and I might even cause you various kinds of
troubles… but even so… I want you to be by my side.”
“…In other words, you want us to live together when you achieve your dream?”
“Yup.”
“This… is quite a matter for the future.”
“Well, I think that I’m being too hasty myself. Of course, I’m going to give it the
best of my abilities. So…”

I cut off my words, taking a deep breath before continuing my next words.
“So…… please stay with me [for life].”

Her eyes open wide in shock. I want to avert my gaze because I’m feeling so
embarrassed right now. But somehow, I persevere and stare at her beautiful eyes.
My hands are drenched in sweat due to nervousness, my throat feels parched
and dry… Ugh, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to say these words. It’s just too
embarrassing.

“………”

Hiori doesn’t say anything for a while, which makes me more and more anxious.
Is my future prospects too dim? Am I not suitable?

“Um, Hiori?”
“…Are you fine with me…?”
“Y-yup. Actually, it has to be you. I’d hate it otherwise.”
“…I see.”
“So, well–

‘What’s your answer’——she suddenly hugs me tight before I can utter my

question. It’s so out of the blue that my body stiffens in response.

“H-H-H-H-Hiori-san?!”
“I’ll be with you forever. I’ll stay by your side, no matter what path you’ll take.”
“Eh? Ah…”

“Hinata, will you stay with me [till death do us part]?”

“————Yup.”
I put my hands around her slender waist. She’s trembling. Her thin body fits into
my arms. Although I had been nervous until a moment ago, I feel really calm in
this position.

(It’s strange…)

When I’m with Hiori, I feel that I can do anything. All the worries that I had
about the future are gone in an instant. Confidence wells within me, telling me
that my life is going to be a happy one, without a doubt.

“…I’ll do my best.”
“Yes, together.”
“Thanks.”

We let go of each other, and we entwine our hands as though in exchange. No

matter how many years, how many decades ahead, I’ll do my best so that we can
always link our hands like this.

“Let’s go. Everyone must be waiting for us.”

“I suppose so.”

Before leaving the cemetery, I decide to look at my own grave one final time.

——We had a painful and sorrowful past. Time won’t heal this kind of wound.
It’s a past so dark and tragic, that we can never look back and laugh upon. We
have reached the present by overcoming that sorrowful past. However, nothing
will be able to mend it.
It’s possible that there will be more hardships and painful experiences waiting
for us.

But, there will also be fun and happy moments ahead of us.

No one can predict the future.

But it’ll be alright.

I’ll take on everything that may happen, and live.

Together with my beloved.

“……It’ll definitely be a happy life.”

“Did you say something?”
“Nope, it’s nothing.”

I turn my back on the past, and start walking.

Linking my hands with her, who’s making such a happy face right now.
We’re going to walk together, forever and ever.

END

(Author’s note)
With this, we have reached the conclusion. Thank you very much for reading this
story to the end.