[ Get a }

IF YOU'RE SO "SUCCESSFUL." WHY AREN'T YO'U HAVING

MORE FUN? IF YOU'RE SO "TOGETHER/' WHY ARE YOUR

DAYS SO CHAOTIC? "GETTING A LIFE" MEANS GETTING

CONTROL-OF WHAT YOU WORK ON, WHOM YOU WORI<

WITH, AND HOW MUCH WORK YOU p o . HERE'S HOW.

BY MICHAEL WARSHAW ILLUSTRATIONS BY CRAIG FRAZIER

 ./ «Change-even change meant to improve our lives-
creates stress," says personal-productivity guru DAVll) ALLEN.
"\Ve get comfortable \vith our problenls."

";T~~..H'ARDTbllE S.•••
TISfloE·I;kWlTH MATERIAlSUCCESS If YOU DON't new interiors-you name it. Alll'm really <C~Hlcernedabout now,
like the work you do. Or if you like your work but not the people you is who I work with:'
work with. Or if you like your workand your colleagues-but spend Casey has decided that he won't work with jerks. "We grew the
so much time with them that there's little time for anything else. company from 2 people to ~5 people." he says, "and we could have
No wonder so many of us arc asking the same tough questions: grown it much bigger. But rather than grow the business, we shrank
If I'm so ''successful.'' why aren't I having more fun? If I'm so "to- it back down to 2. My customers aren't just required to drop off a
gether," why do I feel so out of control? And no wonder so many check. They have to show a commitment to the process. I work only
of us are reaching the same com::lusion: I gotta ga a life! with people who arc willing to hold up their end."
Annette Phillips, 34, finalJy got a life five years ago. Back in When' Bill Galston got a life, official Washi"ugton got a wake-
I985, she left her hometown of Dallas for the challenges of New up call. Back in I993. GaIston, now52, was a professor at the Uni-
York City: She was determined:to becollle financially independent. versity of Mary land. Then he got the.Qffer of a lifetime-to become
,,: professionally accomplished-in short, a success. She pursued stud - dep~ty assi.stant to the: president for 4~~es:~c::.policy. He knew ~ ~ tJ ~ ;;" ':'r
ies)n accounting and became'an auditor at Ernst & Young. She awaited him-that the hlgh'lmpac:t, high-pressure assignment.
threw herself into client work the first step on the road to partner. would mean long workdays as well ;;; iiigh'ts away ftom home.' -j' -
C She didn't mind the travel, she didn't mind the clients-she just But after a yca-r on the job-and after relishing every moment·
didn't love the work. of it-he began to understand the real toll the assignment was tak-
"[ wanted to do more than bring in revenue," Phillips says. "I ing. Galston got a letter from his nine· year-old son, Ezra The let-
wanted to have an impact on the people in the firm. I wanted to ter described some of Ezra's proudest moments in baseball-
make their lives better" moments that were important to him. moments that Galston had
-~~=,~Making-an impactmeant taking a radical step. In 1993, Phillips...,missed.be.ca.us.",o[work. "BasebaltsnQJ;fuD.when t.here'snQ.J;mr;J-bfr.e_
...
stepped off the partnership track-and into human resources. Her to applaud you," the letter concluded.
colleagues said she was crazy: "That's not how you get ahead" Her [t took Galston six months to work up the nerve to walk into
father warned her: "[t's no way to make partner." But those opin- the Oval Office, meet with the president, and walk a'way from his
ions didn't dissuade Phillips. "[ made'a fundamental decision," she job. His decision became big news inside the Beltway, and beyond
explains. "I decided it wasn't that crucial to make partner. Status' Political reporters looked Jor backroom intrigue. Career pundits
is less important than liking what you do" looked for deeper meaning. Three years later, Galston has no regrets.
Today, as director of global mobility for Ernst & Young Inter- Last spring, he spent many afternoons traveling around Washing'
national. Phillips is having the kind of impact she'd hoped for She ton, DC to watch his son play bascball-something he couldn't evcn
• he-Ipsglobally minded E&Y employees move among the nnns offices have dreamed about tn his \Vhite House days:.
~'i'i5G;;d'th~ wocld She works with senior partners in Europe, Asia. "I had spent years thinking jbo~t what [ ~~.~ulddo if I got a-job
and elsewhere. She finds her work genuinely satisfying-even like the one I had," he says ''It wasn'l as if [ w.ere giving up some·
though she's not on track to make partner. thing I'didn't care about But [ was giving it up:f~ favor of something
franc Casey got a life too-but used a different strategy Casey, [cared about even more fatherhood is the pr'iSm through ,,;'hich (
46, is proprietor of Wood Boats Inc., based in East Norwalk (on- see the world Nothing else is even a close second:"
necticut. He is an undisputed master of his craft: wooden -boat What's extraordinary abollt these stories is that they're, well. so
restoration. His customers include some of the wealthiest figures on eXlraordina-ry. Phillips, Casey, and Galston hadto reckon \~'ith the
Wall Street and Madison Avenue. His projects cost as much as fallout from success. They faced personal challenges;clthe sort faced
$ 500,00,0. But Casey is the first to admit that his company, which by millions of other people. But they took simple, decisive measLire<,
";>'1'ie'founded with' b:is"brother 2-5' yeats ago, is much smaller thart it to create a new kind of success-one thatsmore satisfYing,andmore
could be-not because he needs more customers but because he's sustainable. They vowed to gel a life-and did
so particular about those he takes on. Can you make the same claim? .' :....
"I've done all the projects ['ve ever wanted to do," he says. 'Tve "Maintaining a complica,ted life is ~ great way toaY2ids~aflg'
reframed, replanked', and redesigned. l'-(,'egutted boats. installed ing it," argues Simplicity guru Elaine St. James, whss: l:l9~:~,tqW9ks
~;-.: . .'
/ "People tend to confuse their purpose (\Vhat do I love to do?),
their ideals (1--low 3m I comfortable behaving?),
and their desired results (What can I achieve?),"
warns C3reer expert HOBIN HIRSCHBERG.

havescild more than 1.4 million copies-and have helped shape a

growing movement. "As long as our work is so vital that we ,.an't IN AN AGE WHEN WORK IS MORE PERSONAL THAN EVER-WHEN

slow down, we don't have to look at our own lives: a marriage that who you are is what you do-work is a deeper source of personal
isn't working, a career that isn't satisfying, children we're out of sat~faction than ever. And it's not just about discovering some in-
touch with, friendships we've outgrown. There's nothing more ner truth. It's about solving a math problem. William B. Gartner, a
'dangerous' than having a little time on your hands." (See the com- professor of entrepreneurship at the University of Southern Cali-
panion article, "Keep It Simple," page 152.) fornia's Marshall School of Business, offers this simple calculation:
Personal-productivity guru David Allen, 52, who coaches and Say (conservatively) that you work 40 hours a week, 50 weeks a
trains executives at Microsoft, L.L. Bean, the U.S. Navy, and other year, for 50 years. That's 100,000 working hours over the course
high -performance organizations, is eq ually direct: "Change-even of a career. Do any of us want to spend 100,000 hours on work that
change meant to improve our lives-creates stress. That's why we we don't find satisfying?
avoid new experiences and tough choices, They're outside our com- '\~You h"ave one thing of value, and that's your time/!argues"
fort zone. We get comfortable with our problems" Gartner. "This is one of the first challenges I pose to my students:
So get ready to get uncomfortable-and get a life! 'You have 100,000 hours. What are you going to do with them?'
That is the one real limitation that all

vf So-Called Life
-"':J\T
~ "'-" ~ -' ._ -_ ., .._ .-.... # •• ,_•••. _ •••• _~. ~.- ••••••• ' -'"
11
._-~~
<~:\;,
•••• _ •• ,'.,,-.
people face. Not money-timc.
people underestimate
Too many
the opportunity
OLD LIFE United States Secretary of Labor cost of their time"
HEW LIFE University Professor of Social and Economic Policy. Brandeis University
Or they underestimate their ability to
change how they spend it A recent \\la 'll
My job in Washington was exciting FOI'fOlJl'years, Illy days were broken into 15- or 20-minute
Stred JOllrllal / ABC News poll reported
segments..Each segment involved stress. fun-and sometimes both The adrenaline was always
pumping. And you get addicted to it that half of all Americans would choose a
But eventually you see the costs of the addiction I have two boys Frolll the beginning, Illy new line of work if they had the chance
biggest qualm about taking the job was that a Cabinet secretary's lif~ wouldn't allow me enough The obvious follow-up question: \Vhat's
time to be with them I was right. One time. I had promised the boys that I was going to be holding them back from iakillg the
home for dinner But the president called a meeting. [ phoned to say I wouldn't be home until
chance 7 The just-as-obvious response: If il
midnight. My younger son, Sam, who was then nine. said. "Can you wake me up when you come
were an easy question, more people would
in? I just want to know you're home," There was
something about the way he said it-a combina· have the answer. Experts write books 011

tion of sadness and fear-that stopped Ille shalt tbe su,bjecL Professors teacb courses OIill.,
There was a second problem I Illissed being "This is complicaled." says Robli{
able to call my own shots That may sound curi- Hirschberg, a faculty member at Ne"
ous: How many people have more authority than York University and the founder of Not
a Cabinet officer7 But I was very constrained My
So New Age Consulting. Hir~~hberg, a
time wasn't my own. My selfwasn·t my own I
former director of training at Lehman
had to be extremely careful about what J said
and to whom I said it. I was in a bubble Brothers in London, coaches executives
FOI' me, getting a life meant getting back the who want to redirect their careers "Peo·
things I had lost And that meant leaving the best pie tend to confuse their pllrposc(What do
job I ever had. I was lucky Very few people love I love to do?), their ideals (How am! com:
their job so much that they can't get enough of iI, forta6le behaving?), and theidesired'rc:
and love their family so much that they can't get
5ult5 (What can I achieve?). If you untan'
enough of them, But to me, all of the popular talk
gle those questions, and compare the
about "balance" was rubbish. There's no such
thing as work-life balanc.eif you can't get enough answers' with. your natural talents and
of both work and life. abilities, you'll start down the path to suc,
 "Without
S01l1e kind of personal vision, yOLI have no direction,"
ca reel' coach DON HUT C H E SON says. "You follc)\v the herd.
lnd you may not find out until it's too late
that the herd is leading you right off a cliff."

lpo,rtantr<;crl1iting trip. Phillips volunteered, and did well. She Hutcheson, now 5r, just wasn't enjoying his work as much as
as sent on more recruiting trips. Eventually everyone agreed that he thought he would. He launched a personal initiative to rethink
e had a chance to be a star in HR. his career priorities. He even gave it a name: Project New Vision.
"Today I'm able to match what I want to do with what I'm good "I had a little freedom and a little money, so I took the opportuni-
, in an organization I want to be part of:' Phillips says. 'Tm do- ty to figure out what I really wanted."
g what I love to do, rather than what I'm 'supposed' to do." First, as Larry Smith would suggest, he interrogated himself. He
Unfortunately, most answers aren't that apparent. So how do wrote a set of personal guidelines-II qualities that described the
lU find them 7 One way, simple as it sounds, is to ask the people who kind of work he wanted to do. "Balance was a big one," he says. "I
lOW you best. That's what Don Hutcheson did. Eight years ago, wanted an enterprise where I didn't have to be the interface with
U tcheson was running a $ 60 million ad vertising agency and en- clients all the time. I wanted to work with really bright people. And
ying a degree of professional success that he had worked his entire [wanted my work to be something that gave back some of my learn-
reef to achieve. "I felt blessed:' he says. "I had always done what ing and experience, that mad.~Jhe world.a little bett~r.':·_~,.,,-" :,,}
hought' was the right thing, and I had managed to get where I Then Hutcheson invited half a dozen of his clQses'i: friends to a
anted to go. But when I got there, it didn't feel like enough." series of dinners. He asked them to help him refine his goals- "I want-
ed to get feedback from people who cared
about me," he says. "I already had an in-
ternal perspective. Now I wanted an ex-
.0 1I FE Director of New Product Development, Dannon Co ternal perspective"
'w lifE Founder and Managing Director. Venture Stl'ategy Group Deborah Lee endorses this approach.
"[t'sreally important to talk to other peo-
y first -stepsalb"n'g a career path were right for the fast track I gotan important/ob with a
ple." she says "That's the only way to find
~II-known company when I was still in Illy twenties I was responsible fOl"a $190 million
and I was planning to move to eorpol'ate headquarter's in France. Then I man'ied the vice out which issues are internal-which ones

esident of sales Then I had a baby Well. so much for France Instead, I got my MBA-and I are YOll-and which are the inGuences and
j the program in a year and a half distractions around you that make it
That was typical I did everything as if I were running a race. Eventually, though, it felt like a tough to ftgure out what you want. It's
ce to nowhere, My husband had urged me to find a job that would let me spend more time great when you discover that issues you
th OUi son So [ agreed to run a counl,'y inn that my family owned It sounded like a great
thought were unIque to you are shared by
:a But a monlh after we began our' new life.
lots of the people around you. [t validates
y husband left It was the first time that any·
ing had failed for me, and it forced me to ask your feeltllgs
yself some questions' Whalls this race really flints whnt happenedto Hutcheson
,out') What am I trying lo win? One of the friends he brought into Project
later I got married again and moved to San New Vision was psycholqgist and coun-
3r1cisco I had another baby And in 1996. I se~or Bob McDonald. Th;~ two m~n had
Jnded Venture Strategy Group We invest in
known each other since their days in the
ecialty-retail. consumer-products, and electronic-
army. where they had worked as Russian
mmerce companies Sure, I'm still committed
success, but now it's a different kind of suc- lingUIsts Hutcheson's search start,e~
ss It has to include my husband, my children, McDonald, now 51, on orrc of his own,
d my service to the community Evcntually the friends joined ',)[ces.
I was interviewing a job candidate the other ""'Hutcheson sold his agency, and he and
y, and she asked Where [ had gotten the "guts"
McDonald cofounded the Highlands Pro-
start my own company What a question! I re-
gram, based in Atlanta Highlands i;; a ca-
y don't think about it in terms of guts anymore,
s just a matter of follOWing my own vision and reer-counseli.ng seryicethat-surprise!-
3ying true to my values. htlps people discover what they want to-
 \\

W~henDoing Better
DO you FEEL LI KE A SUCCESS?

Answering that question meanS reckoning with what YOLl've

achieved, with the price you've paid, and with the balance between
the two. Many people's lives feel out of control because the cost of
their success is too high They work on assignments they don't like,
cess. [t takes experimentation, You don't know the answers until . they Work witl1"jefks,or they're just always working
you know the answers," Victoria Husted Medvec, assistant professor of organizational be-
Deborah Lee, a social psychologist based in San Francisco and havior at Northwestern University's Kellogg Graduate School of Man-
agement, focuses on the other half at the equation: Why do so many
the author of Havi"g It All/Having Elto<Lgh(Amacom, 1997), is less
people feel dissatisfied not with the price they've paid but with the
forgiving: "Lots of people don't want to sit down and look them-
p a y o ff? "Most people assume that the more they achieve, the happier
selves in the eye, because then they'll feel a responsibility to act on they'll be." Medvec says "nlat's not always the case. People deter-
what they learn, And that can be very frightening." Atlanta-based mine how satisfied they feel by the comparisons they make. And
career counselor Bob McDonald is even tougher: "People have more achievement-oriented people tend to make one-sided comparisons
H o w . c o u ld [ have done b e tte r r
options than they think they do. But most people spend more time
Medvec's best-known research involves the Olympics, She and
planning their vacations than thinking about what they want to do
some colleagues studied the reactions of U.S athletes to the medals
with their lives."
they had won Her conclusion. Silver medalists tend to be less satis-
No one would lodge tbat charge against Larry Smitb., Q2,.who,. fied with their performance than bronze medalists are. Doing better
reaches public management at Harvard University's John F. K~n~ed y . can actually mean feeling worse .."Silver medalists think about what
School of Government. Smith·has led an accomplished ~nd wide- might have been: Medvec says "Bronze medalists think about how
ranging career. He's served as counselor to two secretaries of defense lucky they are to have a medal at all"
and to the chairman of the House Armed Services Committee. He's It's an all-too'human reaction. All success is relative-especially in
competitions with clear cutoff points. Did [ win the lOo'meter dash'
managed political campaigns, and helped design Gary Hart's run for
Did I get the promotion to executive vice president7 Thinking about
president in 1984' He's taught college, He's painted houses.
t.hese cutoff points can wreak havoc on our sense of self-worth "Let's
"[ think there is a 'sweet spot' that each of us has," he says. "It's say you get paid a bonus at work based on a point system." Medvec
the kind of work we want to perform, the kind of work that makes says. "You get no bonus for less than 25 points ..a certain bonus for
us proud But finding that sweet spot re- 25 points, and a bigger
quires deep self-knowledge. You statt by bonus for 30 point.s, People
will tend to feel happier wit.h
looking at the work you're drawn to. You
25 points t.han with 28 At
try it, you evaluate t.he experience, and
25, they qualify for the first
you evolve as you discover more about it, bonus pool At 28, they feel
I think of this process as developmental they could have made the
sdf-interrogation. You're working on a bigger pool"
mental model of yourself-always," Consider a related exam-
ple A cOmpany is l1iringa
Somet.imes the answer is staring you in
newCEO ..'The board,wants
the face-literally. At the 5egim'llng'of'::
to show it'5respect fOI'a tal·
her career at Ernst & Young, Annette ented young vice president.
Phillips was meeting with an HR staffer so it considers her for the
w hen she faced the most dreaded of inrer- job-but then chooses a
view questions: What do you wa,,;t to be " more seasoned executive.
The directors thinkthat they've offered the VP a vote of confidence.
doing in live years? Her honest anSwer (which she kept to herse:lQ:
Medvec's conclusion: "She's more likely to leave the company than the
<01 want to be doing what you're d~ing."
vice p,-lsiclents WllOwcrent considered at all Pepple who are con,
Indeed, it took Phillips about live years to move from her orig- tenders. but who don't finish first. are more likely to be dissatisfied
inal path-the conventional road to partner-to the more re- than people wilo were never contenders ..
warding path that she's on now: AnthIS' Deborah Lec'would point This reaction to less-than-total success is natural-and destruc-
out, it required some direct action. Phillips stayed close to the peo- tive, "The trick is to shoot fqr the top but to know how to deal with it
when you don't finish on top:' Medvec urges' "Our inclination, when
ple in HR and kept. dropping hints that. she liked what she saw in
we just miss something, is to think about how things coult:lrave been
the department, Then came the break she had been looking for. HR
better. Think instead about how they,could have been r iitt.e fe n t And
needed a stand-in for an ill staffer who was scheduled to make an qan't foi-get to think about how they could have been worse'~i':' .
-------=---- -------=,~------~---~-~--------.---.--------.--.
-------------.~-~~--'-
--··----·-1

11\ big part 01 sllcceeding

LA R R Y S 1\1 J T I-1. "Thot's
is te~lIlling," says
politiGJ! veteran
why I establish filters for who I work with.
-lat's not arrogance. It's confidence."

"'irh their livc:s. Alrnost7,ooo people-from blue-chip compa- pie oftefl overlook their environmental constraints," says Deborah
; such as IBM, Hewlett-Packard, and Northwestern Mutual Lee. "They tell themselves, 'If I just get more organized, if I strike
-have been through the program. Hutcheson and McDonald a balance between work and home, 'I'll feel better: But you can't
e also written a book Th, LWtlllillg COllspiracy: How to R,direct ignore the people around you. Not only can't we control how oth-
r Life frOll' Stress to BalallC<(Longstreet Press, 1.997). er people behave-we can't control our emotional responses to their
"Without some kind of personal vision, you have no direction," behavior. If you want more satisfaction from your work, you have
tcheson says. "You follow the herd, And you may not find out to negotiate better relationships with the people you work with."
il it's too late that the herd is leading you right ",ff a cliff:' Most everyone has suffered from an arrogant boss or a duplici-
taus colleague. That's not the issue here. It's something deeper: Do
you have the confidence to make choices-about the compan y you
work for, about the projects you work on-based on th~ caliber of
the people you'll9<:!,~o~.kil)-g,witr? p.g ~RH.h,~~~.,:he,?i~ijJline. to
{AFFY WITH YOUR JOB? MAYBE THE PROBLEM ISN'T WHAT turn downa plum assignment ifit would mean w(jrking with jerks?
,'re working on. Maybe it's whom you're working with. "Peo- Larry Smith, ';':;hose years of service in W;shington required
navigating lots ofjerk-6.lled waters, argues
that it's impossible to define satisfying
work without considering the people you
, liFE CEO of Perot Systems Corp do it with "A big part of succeeding is
~ L I F E CEO of 2M Companies Inc. his pl-ivate investment firm teaming," he says "An y work that creates
satisfaction .require~ partnering with
- ·ru-ri-C-ompaniesthree times Each time, it felt fun. satisfying, ancriileaningful I also felt that I
someone else That's wh y I establish filters
. dealing well with my obligations outside the company That part feels different now
for whQ I work with That's not arrogance.
4t Perot Systems, I worked 16- to 18·hour days. six or seven days a week. [ traveled on busi-
; an average of four days a week It sounds crazy, but once [was essentially out of the coun- It's confIdence If you've found the sweet
for 12 months. working on a nk1jordeal ill Switzerland Needless to say, that schedule didn't spot in you r \~'ork. you' re good a t it. And
e much time for a "Iife" if you'r{good at it, you have the freedom
No wonder most CEOs give IJp on ft iends. hobbies-even family_Work becomes ail adqiction. to decide who you want to do it with"
ertainly became one for me I stili conSIder myself a "recovering' CEO..How did I change?
Of course, freedom means making
·tir e d I couldn't figure out how to change
choices. and making choices means saying
Ie [ still held tha t job. [ now run Illy own
I-and have time to run my own life. no. "I worked my way through graduate
r·ve been surprised by which aSpects of my 'school as'a holJse ·p~lintet,"jSmith. say~-
J life [ enjoy most In high schOOland college. [ "When my wife and I arrived in Wash-
g in a cappella choirs I've started singing ington. I said to her, 'Let's put my brushes
in I rejoined the choir of my alma mater for a in the basement If the people I'm' ";o&ing
. of Europe. [ also joined the Dallas Symphony
with don't like my counsel, or if I don't
hestra Chorus
like what they become. I know [can al-
The emotional rcleilse [ get from singing has
Je a huge difference Ifl Illy life A singing ways go paint a hous~: That attitude has
up is the purest form of community I know allowed me to work free of rear"
['ve also joined the board of the Hebrew Union Unlike Larry Sm;',:l, Franc Ca~eY
ege, a seminary that tri]ins Reform rabbis doesn't advise politicians about military
! years ago. you would have never found me
strategy or matters of state. But like Smi.th.
jying the Torah on a Saturday morning Today.
he refuses to wor~ with jerks, Casey had
=n I discuss it with other people [ get the
1e satisfaction I got 30 years agO when I tack- always ",:,or~ed for people who ·were.
complex software problenls wealthy and successful Those were the
 \Vhy did superconsultant start working less? DAVID NADLER
"1 realized that a [0% difference in how much work I did
was not the difference between success and failure."

people who could afford his talents. But back in the '70S, when he
started, they were also real sailors. They cared about their boats and
appreciated the quality of Casey's work.
Then the '70S became the '80s-and more and more of Casey's
customers saw their boats as a possession rather than as a passion.
"I just hated coming to work," he says. "I was either going to shut
down my business or work only for people I liked working with.
It was a simple choice, really. I decided to tell potential customers
up front how I do business and what their involvement has to be.
l[ they agree, I'm happy to work with them. If they disagree. there
are plenty of other companies for them to do business with."

MAYBE YOU LOVE YOU WORK. MAYBE YOU RESPECT THE PEOPLE YOU

work with. Still, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing.
Consider this cautionary statement: "No one on their deathbed ever
wished they'd spent more timeat the office." We know what you're
thinking: "IfI see that line one more time, my deathbeds gonna look
pretty good" In fact, in the last year alone, these notable figures have
all uttered this all-too-familiar phrase: time-management guru
Stephen Covey. personal-success guru Tony Robbins. President Bill
Clinton, First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton-the list goes on
Q~estion: If so many famous people are promoting 'this correc-
tive to professional excess, why are so few of us listening? Why are
we moving ever closer to our deathbeds with ever more regrets
about how we spend our time? Because we're just businesspeople
who can't say no-especially at work
That's what David Nadle'[ realized seven years'ago. Nadler, 49,
is one of the most inlluential management consultants in the world.
He formed Delta Consulting Group in 1980. Since then, the firm
has worked with senior managers at big-name companies such as
Chase Manhattan, Xerox, and Lucent Technologies. Nadler has
written or edited more than a dozen books on business and change.
B IIS illc s s Week has labeled him "one of management's new gurus."
Nadler understands that success has its costs. "It's all-consum-
ing to create a company," he says. "It's !1otjust that you're always
working. It's that you'feel guiltJi'f'you'Te'ndr~V'orking" Buras
Nadler got more and more successful, the costs seemed more and
more severe. He built a thriving firm-at the expense of virtually
all other activities. He was divorced twice. "I like t.he work I do,"
Nadler says. "I like the clients I work with. But. gradually I real-
 ized that 1 had to put some balauce iu my life."
Creating balance meant saying uo. First Nadler desigued a uew
management structure at Delta, oue that made the firm less depeu-
dent on him.-Trn:-n he5!mpiystat't~ working less. "I realized that
a ro% difference in how much work I did was not the difference
between success and failure," he says. Indeed, Nadler now says no
at least 8 weeks out of eve~y 52: "I sit down at the begiuuing of the
year aud blqck out 8 or 9 weeks of time away fwm the office."
To his credit, Nadler understood that there is a difference be-
tween changing your attitude about work and chauging your
personality. He is, to put it mildly, a driven guy. And he still allows
himself to be driven-but by sailing as wellas by work.
Nadler attended the Annapolis Sailiug School, where he took
courses in cruising, piloting, aud navigation He worked his way up
to bigger boats and longer cruises, sailing around the British Vir-
gin Islands and Tahiti. He became as committed to uautical success
as he is to professional success "But it wasn't work" he says "I bnd
navigation satisfying. In consulting, it's not always clear what im'
pact you're having-you work with lots of people on very complex
tasks. Navigation is not ambiguous-you get there or you don't."
Talk with Nadler about his time away from his company, and
you won't detect an ounce of regret The same goes for former
Clinton official Bill Galston. whose professional sacrifice was much
more dramatic Galston was at a hlgh point lO his career, with
tremendous influence on the nation's domestic policy, when he
chose to walk away: "If I had stayed in that very demanding job for
auother few years, while my son became a teenager. l would have
missed some very important years to be with hlm ftold the presi-
de.nt.that he could replace mc-'my ..son couldn't"
-Today Galston talks morc excltcdly about hls son's bar mitzvah
thau about his days in the \Vhitc House "There were almost 250

people there, including fami! y members from Israel and South

Africa," he says. "It was a magnibcent occasion" And it would have
been a very different occasion had Galston been in his old job "I
would havebeen a spectator at my son's bar mitzvah. Instead, [ was
able to heIp"putit together and participate"
And that, says use professor Willi"m Gartner, is what itmeans
,._,. ,. . .Jq get a life: "One of the great lies of o~ganiZJltionallife is that jobs
can be as big as the people who 6.11 them. It's not true. Teamscannev-
er be as big as our families Colleagues can nevcr be as big as our
friends. Companies can nevcr be as rich, as wonderful. as the people :
in them. Weare bigger thanourorganiiations Wcj~~~re:'0·~L~_~ ... "j,.:, ..

~ '_'W<'WAA'AAW"AA='''~~ """" ••• w,,"""',<".' . .

:>~:.;;":~'!::.:.-:-;; ;··<~,L'>'~~:':i,.:~j
 The article relates the experiences lived by successful people who decided not to
devote their entire lives just to work, but to get a life. Thus, they started doing what they
really enjoyed, instead of a more profitable activity.
. Experts agree that it is difficult to make changes in our lives as they create stress.
But in order to get a life, it is necessary to undergo them.
Firstly, as you have to do what you find satisfying, you must know what it is. Thus,
you have to figure out which your purpose is, which your ideals are and the results you
would like to achieve. People who know you best can be helpful to find these answers.
What is also important is the environment where you work and the people whom
you are working with. You need to maintain good relationships and be respected and
respect others so as to get a life.
Finally, it also of great importance to learn how to say no, work less and delegate
tasks, leaving time for other activities which may be as rewarding as a job you like.

Get a life!: used to tell someone that you think they are boring and should find more
exciting things to do.
In short: used when you want to give the main point of something.
Craft: (l) a job or activity in which you make things with your hands, and that you
usually need skill to do. (2) a small boat.
Yoll name it: used after a list of things to mean that there are many more you could
mention.
Wake-up call: an experience or event that shocks you and makes you realize that you
must do something to change a situation.
(Offer) of a lifetime: the best opportunity, experience etc that you will ever have.
To relish: to enjoy an experience or the thought of something that is going to happen.
Toll (on): a very bad effect that something has on something or someone over a long
period of time.
Pundit: someone who is often asked to give their opinion publicly of a situation or
subject.
Fallout: the results of a particular event, especially when they are unexpected.
To outgrow: to no longer do or enjoy something that yOll used to do.
A conservative estimate/guess: a guess which is deliberately lower than what the real
amount probably is.
To untangle: to make something less complicated.
Qualm: a feeling of slight worry or doubt because you are not sure that what you are
doing is right.
To stop short (of doing sth): to decide that you are not willing to do something wrong or
dangerous.
To lodge (a charge/complaint/protest): to make a formal or official charge, complaint
etc.
Stand-in: someone who does the job or takes the place of someone else for a short time.
Payoff: an advantage or profit that you get as a result of doing something.
 To wreak havoc on sth: to cause a lot of damage or problems.
Seasoned: used to describe someone who has a lot of experience of a particular thing.
To endorse: to express formal support or approval for someone or something.
MBA: Master of Business Administration.
To gut: to change something by removing its central parts.
To have the guts to do sth: to have the courage and determination you need to do
something difficult or unpleasant.
Blue-chip (company/shares): companies or shares that make a profit and are considered
safe.
Duplicitous: sb who behaves dishonestly, intending to deceive someone.
Plum Gob/assignment): a good job etc that other people wish they had.
CEO; Chief Executive Officer.
( to be sb's) alma mater: the school, college etc that someone used to attend.
To work (your) way up: to achieve something gradually by working.
Needless to say: used when you are telling someone something that they probably know
or expect.
To put it mildly: used to say that you could use much stronger words to describe
something.
To be drawn to: to be attraoted by.
To be staring sb in the face: sth that is very easy to notice but you have not noticed it.
So much for sth: used to say that a particular action, idea, etc, was not successful.
To follow the herd: to do the same thing that most other people are doing, without
really thinking about it for yourself - used in order to show disapproval.
To call the shots: to be in a position of authority so that yOll can give orders and make
decisions
Partner: one of the people who owns a business and share the profits, etc.
Up front: in advance.

To throw sb into sth: to start doing an activity with a lot of effort and energy.
To step into: to start doing something, or become involved in a situation (opposite: to step
off)
To get ahead: to be successful and do better than other people in a job or work
To take on: to agree to do some work or be responsible for something.
To walk away from: to leave a job, an organization, etc (opposite: to walk into).
To hold Csb) back from: to prevent someone or something from making progress.

Determined TO
(have/make an) impact ON
Based IN ( a company is based in a place)
Commitment TO
Assistant! counselor TO
ActON/UPON
Focus ON
Promotion TO
"There's little time for anything else": negative connotation (it's not enough).

"Having a little time on your hands": positive cOill1otation (it's enough)

" Not only can't we control how other people behave-we can't control our emotional
responses to their behaviour."

Type 0 (situations that are always true)

"If the people I'm working with don't like my counsel, I know I can always go paint a
house."
Type I (real situations in the present/future)
"IfIjust get more organized, ifI strike a balance between work and home, I'll fell better."
Type 2 (unreal situations in the present/future)
"If it were an easy question, more people would have the answer."
Type 3 (unreal situations in the past)
"If I had stayed in that very demanding job for another few years, while my son became a
teenager, I would have missed some very important years to be with him."
Type 3 with inversion (omission of "if')
"It would have been a very different occasion had Galston been in his old job."

Defming:
"1 wanted an enterprise where I didn't have to be the interface with clients all the time."

Non defming:
"But Casey is the first to admit that his company, which he founded with his brother 25
years ago, is much smaller than it could be.

"Most people assume that the more they achieve, the happier they'll be."
Corrective TO
Dependent ON
AT the expense OF
Work ON

To pursue studies/a goal/an aim

To drop off a check
To pose a challenge
Adrenaline (is) pumping
To drop a hint
To launch an initiative
To be true to your values
Not to have an ounce of regret
To face a question! a limitation
Do work! a project
Make sb proud

To label sthfsb as sth (The newspapers had unjustly labelled him a troublemaker)

To dissuade sb from (doing) sth (a campaign to dissuade young people from smoking)
(= persuade sb not to do sth)

To help sb to do sth (1 helped her to carry her cases up the stairs)

To heip sb do sth (She helped him choose some new clothes)

Even though
Actually
No wonder (less formal than: "It's no wonder. ..")
As long as
Eventually
Indeed
Instead
Unlike
In fact

Blue-chips
All-consuming
Self-knowledge
High-performance