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Emotional Intelligence

Keeping Your Spirits Up

When You Really Need a
Win at Work
Seven strategies to lift yourself out of an ongoing slump.
by Anne Sugar

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Keeping Your Spirits Up

When You Really Need a Win
at Work
Seven strategies to lift yourself out of an ongoing slump. by Anne Sugar
Published on HBR.org / July 13, 2023 / Reprint H07PQQ

Giada Canu/Stocksy

Social media makes it easy to see everyone’s wins. But if you’re

in a period where you’re grinding away and it feels like it’s been a
while since you had any wins of your own, seeing happy LinkedIn
announcements from friends and colleagues can feel painful. Perhaps
you’ve had success in the past doing what you’re doing — but now
nothing is landing. If you feel like you’re not moving forward with your
work, it’s time to recalibrate, check your mindset, and focus on activities

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that make you happy, rather than on comparing yourself to others. Here
are tips for moving forward when you really need a win.

Remember that this is a season.

There will always be ups and downs; nothing is permanent, even if

it feels that way. Sometimes you’re on top and things are running
smoothly; other times, you struggle to stay afloat. There is no one
“right” season. Remember that this period is only a bump and won’t last
forever. If you’re having a hard time believing that the slump will ever
end and need to hear it from someone else, contact a friend or mentor
who can give your perspective. Remember that this will reverse, even if
you’re not sure when.

One client of mine kept pitching ideas to her client, but never seemed
to get traction. Everything she pitched was passed upon. My client felt
frustrated because it felt like she would never get an idea approved; yet
she kept taking action. My client decided that this was a “grind season”;
she learned to detach from the results and just keep moving.

Celebrate a (tiny) win.

You’ve probably heard it before: “celebrate the small wins.” But what
if you feel like you don’t have any wins, however small? In their
article “The Power of Small Wins,” Teresa M. Amabile and Steven J.
Kramer share this: “When we think about progress, we often imagine
how good it feels to achieve a long-term goal or experience a major
breakthrough.” These big wins are great — but they are relatively rare. If
you’re searching for a small win and coming up short, try this: go even
smaller. List out every detail that went into a recent work project. Which
of those went off without a hitch? Which went better than expected?
Recognizing even a tiny victory can change the trajectory of the work
and lift your spirits. One former colleague decided to keep track of his

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micro-wins. Over time, he saw how tiny wins built up. The net result
was that he felt more powerful and capable in his role.

Set firm boundaries around whom you allow into your space.

Even colleagues and friends with the best of intentions can cause you
to doubt yourself. Consider who among your colleagues makes you feel
good? Who takes the wind out of your sails? Set boundaries and be
ruthless about avoiding the people who bring you down. In his article
“The Emotional Boundaries You Need at Work,” Greg McKeown creates
a matrix by which people can determine their boundaries. McKeown
writes: “To develop meaningful and mature relationships at work or at
home we need to develop two filters. The first filter protects you from
other people. The second filter protects other people from you.” This
doesn’t mean you turn into a hermit; rather, it means you only spend
time with people who make you feel good (even if it’s just one person).
Remember — you don’t have to have such hard boundaries forever.
While you’re getting back on your feet, though, ruthlessly avoid people
who knock you down a peg. That may also mean staying off social media
for a bit.

Forget being grateful; look at your strengths.

Practicing gratitude makes you feel better and expands your view of
what’s going right. However, if your spirits are down, “being grateful”
may feel like too much of a stretch. Instead of making gratitude lists,
try this; at the end of the day, review your actions and appreciate what
you did well. This could be something as simple as “I smiled at the
barista today”; or, “I shared a valuable insight in the senior leadership
meeting.” Write at least three things a day. Over time, seeing your
positive actions accumulate will bolster your sense of self-confidence
and help to propel you forward.

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Appreciate what’s going right.

If you’re feeling ineffective, you may think you need to do something.

Yet often, action isn’t required. If you feel driven to do, check the
impulse; instead, try sitting and doing nothing. I coach many clients
to block off time on their calendars to do nothing. “Nothing” may mean
sitting and reading a fashion magazine to clear their mind. Or it might
mean sitting and thinking about a meeting that went well last week.

The key is to let your mind get quiet and try to notice at least one
thing that’s going right. If you’re not looking for the good, you’ll miss
it and stay in the negative belief that “nothing is working out for me.”
Throughout the day, it’s easy notice the “dings,” or things that don’t
seem to be moving in the right direction. Likewise, it’s easy to overlook
the quiet hum of everything that’s working as it should. Get in the
practice of noticing — and writing down — three things that are going
right, every day.

Look at other people’s wins, but never to shame yourself.

Sometimes you need to look outside yourself at other people’s wins. You
needn’t compare yourself and create a measuring stick for where you
want to be; rather, use other people’s wins to catapult yourself ahead.
Adopt this mindset: “If that person can do that thing well, then I can,
too.”

I worked with a client who likes to watch motivational YouTube videos.

He watches Tom Brady montages on YouTube when he needs to “win”
(i.e., close sales). My client uses Tom Brady’s drive, motivation, and
hard work to lift himself up and signal to himself: “I can win, too.”

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Expand your horizons.

If you’re feeling low, you may be inclined to hunker down and do the
least amount possible. A better idea is to look for paradigm-shifting
ways to challenge yourself. Nathan and Susannah Furr, authors of The
Upside of Uncertainty, share in their book the big ups and downs they
experienced when they moved to France and learned to thrive in a
new context, and how it’s important to stop attempting to control risks.
Instead, consider how you can create the conditions for positive change.
When the Furrs faced seemingly insurmountable challenges, they kept
moving forward and looking for new possibilities.

If you feel like you can’t catch a win or move ahead on a project, it’s time
to adjust your mindset. Remember that the tiniest win can catapult you
ahead. Lean on your mentors and colleagues and keep the naysayers at
bay. Over time, the cumulative effect of these positive actions will move
you forward, and those tiny wins will add up to big wins.

This article was originally published online on July 13, 2023.

Anne Sugar is an executive coach and speaker who works

AS with senior leaders in technology, marketing, and pharmaceutical
companies. She is an executive coach for the Harvard Business
School Executive Program and has guest lectured at MIT. You can
reach her at annesugar.com.

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This document is authorized for use only by FARHAD FORBES (fdf@forbesmarshall.com). Copying or posting is an infringement of copyright. Please contact
customerservice@harvardbusiness.org or 800-988-0886 for additional copies.