Flores1

Mia Flores

Professor Garcia

English 134

25 April 2024

Profile Essay Outline

To the left of the Performing Arts Center of San Luis Obispo lies a small building

dedicated to music, theater, and dance students. The Building consists of two floors: the bottom

floor for the music department, and the top floor for dance and theater. Its name is the Davidson

Music Center. Students of Cal Poly are constantly flowing in and out of the building to attend

class, rehearsal, or practice in the practice rooms. Upstairs in room 216, you’ll find the Cal Poly

Symphony rehearsing every Tuesday and Thursday. The Symphony is full of students from

different backgrounds and majors, who’ve all come together to create music. But the students

don’t run the symphony themselves; Dr. David Arivee is the director of the Cal Poly Symphony

who also teaches musicianship and music theory in the Davidson Music Center since 2004. Commented [RJ1]: I really like how you set the scene
in this paragraph and introduce the main subject. It
gives a good intro to the reader.
Dr. Arrivee has always been involved with music since he was very young. His mother

was a piano teacher and was a “big influence” on his path to a music career (Arrivee). He would

spend his time listening to her students while she taught them pieces like Fur Elise. Eventually,

he asked her for piano lessons. Music became a constant factor in his life from that moment on.

He was very involved in his school's bands and learned how to play different instruments like

french horn, jazz bass, harpsichord, and clarinet. But, he was still unsure if music was the path

that he wanted to take. When I asked him why he chose to pursue a music career, he said “I knew

it was going to be either architecture or music and it was no more defined than that” (Arrivee).

He continues, “I did a summer camp in architecture before I went to college, and I totally burned

out” (Arrivee). Dr. Arrivee then goes on to explain that the camp was too intense and he flipped
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his decision to clarinet performance. Throughout college, his intentions with his music career

“morphed” into pursuing a career in conducting.

Conducting is an art form, and the conductor guides and directs a musical performance to

create the best experience for the audience and the players (lumen). When Dr. Arrivee decided
he wanted to be a conductor, he approached the conductor of the Princeton University Symphony
Orchestra (where he attended as an undergraduate) and told him his decision. The conductor told
Commented [RJ2]: I think that this section would
benefit from a little more detail. What exactly does a
conductor do? Why is a conductor important? Providing
such details will help readers who aren't familiar with
musical conductors follow along better.

him “Is there anything else you can do with your life?” Dr. Arrivee and I had a good laugh at the

response (Arrivee). We laughed because even though the response was quite brash, we both

understand that a career as a conductor is very difficult. They must have extensive knowledge of Commented [RJ3]: This would be "understood" since
you are talking about the past tense. There are a
couple more minor grammatical errors in this
the music repertoire being played, as well as music history, theory, understand German and paragraph. I know it's a draft but just wanted to point
that out.
French, and have a good idea of how every instrument in the orchestra works; there are about 50-

80 instruments in a Symphony Orchestra (Colorado Symphony). They also must have unique

interpretations of the music and expressions that they can communicate to the Symphony. On top

of that, “being a professional conductor is a hard life because [they] just stay at a place maybe

five, six years and then [they] move on. [They] usually have a couple jobs, just in different parts

of the country, flying in between” (Arrivee). So a career as a conductor is challenging because of

all these criteria that need to be met and also the field itself is just very competitive. Commented [RJ4]: I think that this sentence here is
repetitive and not needed because it basically just
restates everything that you just said.

Figure 1. Dr. David Arrivee writing a dictation for Musicianship III.

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During his time studying as a graduate, he taught lecture classes and found his passion for

teaching as well. This is because “there are a lot of aspects of teaching. It’s kind of a collection

of skills in a way, and I just like a lot of them” (Arrivee). He enjoys the process of taking a

complicated idea and finding ways to help students understand more clearly. The interaction that

comes with teaching is also a huge plus for him because “[he] get[s] to watch people get it.

People who know zero [music theory] from the beginning of the quarter are asking questions

about why can’t we analyze this chord? Why not in this [music] key? [He’s] like ‘wow really

glad you asked that question’. And [he] get[s] to [explain why]. So seeing that growth is really

cool” (Arrivee). His love for conducting and teaching influenced his decision to teach here at Cal
Poly because this job allows him to be both a conductor and a lecturer. But the workload that
comes with being both isn’t for the weak. I asked him what his average day as a Cal Poly music
Commented [RJ5]: I think that this quote is a lot longer
than it needs to be. I think there are some extra
sentences that don't add any value, such as the last
sentence, and make it a little confusing. However, the
main quote is a great addition because it helps convey
why he loves teaching.

professor was like and he explained that “eighty-five to ninety percent” of his time as a professor

is occupied by preparation or grading for his classes, Music Theory 101 and Musicianship.

Musicianship especially because he has to plan out all of the course work for each class session

as it comes. The coursework includes dictations, prepared singing, prepared rhythms, and ear

training. He plays different musical intervals on piano to train our ears, and rewrites dictations on

the board after we take a dictation test (see Figure 1).

Figure 2. Dr. David Arrivee conducting the Cal Poly Symphony Orchestra during rehearsal
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Besides his lecture classes, Dr. Arivee also has to prepare music and administrative

things for the Cal Poly Symphony Orchestra. This summer, the Cal Poly Symphony Orchestra is

heading to France to embark on a tour and play in Paris and Normandy. So, he has to make sure

all the paperwork is filled out, payments are sent in, and everyone’s documents have been

collected. Commented [RJ6]: I really like what you have so far. I

think that you integrate your quotes very well and do a
good job of putting quotes and paraphrases only in
necessary areas. There are just a few grammatical
issues that I spotted, such as the one I marked that I'm
sure you can catch with a second look.