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Midas Curse
Cant Buy Me Love
Nick Yates 10/1/2011

Mission and Vision Dr. Mary Olson

The parents who leaves his son enormous wealth generally deadens the talents and energies of the son and tempts him to lead a less useful and less worthy life than he otherwise would. ~ Andrew Carnegie

Growing up my family always said that they had to walk several miles to school barefoot in the snow, uphill both ways. As a child I would always snicker at that comment thinking that they must be joking with me. I never really grasped the lesson to be learned until I had to start making my own money and paying my own bills. I was very fortunate that my parents were able to pay for all my activities throughout my childhood as well as most of my college. The one thing that I wish that they had done for me while I was growing up was to instill the value of money for me. Perry Cochell and Rodney Zeeb, explain this philosophy in their book Beating the Midas Curse. The book focuses primarily on affluent families and how they pass down their wealth to their inheritors. After comparing the lessons in this book with my own experiences, I have realized that money can be a valuable tool that pays for lifes comforts, but ultimately, it is the relationships we share with our families and friends that make life worthwhile. This book contains lessons that I can apply to my personal life. My parents had told me while I was growing up that they had difficult times when they were growing their family business. They iterated that my mother had made a lot my clothes when I was younger but they wanted my sister and me to receive all the things that they never had - education, nice clothes, etc. Looking back now, I feel I would have learned more if they would have told us more about what they went through in life to get to where they were. I also believe that if I had had to work during my college years, I would have appreciated what they provided me as well as learned how to manage money when I got my first job out of school.

Since I was raised with a since of materialism, I thought the money I would make after starting my career and climbing the corporate ladder would, essentially, buy me happiness. It would attract women, allow me to start a family, and retire happily one day. The authors recognize a similar trend in affluent families when they are passing down their wealth to their heirs (Cochell and Zeeb, 2005). There are examples of this in the media today such as Paris Hilton. To people without wealth, Paris looks ridiculous in her fancy clothes, toting around her dog in her purse and worrying about who she is going to party with during the coming weekend. They may also feel envious of her because they would love to live what seems to be an easy, carefree lifestyle. Paris could serve as a cautionary tale for wealthy youth- it seems she is squandering her inheritance before she even has it and possibly becoming another generational statistic that Cochell and Zeeb discuss in their book. Money can buy Paris and me anything we can afford. However, it cant buy virtue and values. The authors of this book work with many of the most affluent family advisors in America. They teach these advisors the Heritage Process, which is a conviction that real success as a family doesnt come just by planning for the future but also from recognizing and applying the lessons from the past (Cochell and Zeeb, 2005, pg 98). I realized from reading that it is more important to leave a legacy than oodles of money for my children, grandchildren, great-great children, etc. Cochell and Zeeb put a lot into perspective by illuminating my own personal reflection upon my life. I have asked myself many questions about how I view things in the present and how I would like as my legacy. I have asked myself Would having more money make me happier? What could I learn from my parents, grandparents and family from their

experiences as best practices for my life going forward? and How will I talk to my family in the present and my children in the future about strong core family values? The principal value that I received from this exercise and reading this book is that having strong core family values and a vision future is the path to long-term happiness. I wish my parents had talked with me throughout my childhood about the family money and how to use it as a tool, and only a tool, to succeed in life. I wish my grandparents had had the same conversation with them and us as grandchildren. Like many families, affluent or not, we have unfortunately had divisions due to the family business and wealth. However, this division has also strengthened my immediate family. We have developed new traditions that continually support our core values. Even though some of my family remains estranged that doesnt mean that they have been forgotten in my eyes. There are many things I can do to apply what I have learned from Cochell and Zeeb in my life. I want to start by focusing on my immediate family, the core group that attends family gatherings and holidays, by talking with them more freely about what I have accomplished in my volunteering efforts. I want to ask my grandmother what life was like when she was growing up and when she was raising her family. I realized, from reading this book, that even though I dont have a wife and children, I need to be planning my estate because someone will have to take care of it if I die unexpectedly. I have already started to think about what I want my legacy to be and the core values I want to instill in my future children. King Midas himself couldnt find true happiness in the riches he built for himself along with the gold he created. It wasnt until he lost the thing he cherished most, his daughter, did he realize that family is the most important and best legacy someone can leave behind.

References Cochell, P., & Zeeb, R. (2005). Beating the midas curse. Oregon: Heritage Institute Press, Inc.