This is a letter to Sihyun or Sean I have no idea if you will ever read this but i

just felt like writting a letter to you and maybe one day we will be tgt and ill
show you this. Maybe? It all started around Halloween or at 철야 i dont know why i
just randomly was interested in you but i felt like liking someone from the church
was definitly not the best idea so i just kinda wanted to stop. it wasnt that hard
until i saw that pic from holywin where youre basically looking at me i dont know
if im tripping but i was so crazy excited when i saw that i was like wait sean
liking me?? theres no way but at the same time the way you acted that day after
everything basically the chip thing or the tteokbokki made me soo delusional. i
literally remember everything that happened to us or i dont know me..? I dont think
i ever liked someone this much like actually i have never gotten attention like
that so i definitly went crazy so i could say my love towards you officially
started at holywin i guess...?? So the following days of the week i am telling you
i couldnt pass a single day without thinking about you. Some how i "survived" that
week and friday came i think i said hi and nothing really big happened since youre
always with like the elders and im not like that close but i didnt mind even tho i
was kind of disappointed. oh and i think thats the night where my mom dropped ur
mom and u at ur house. saturday passed, its sunday. There was a rumor about
everyone going to cheolwoo's house, so i was like since my mom is going and so does
jiwoo's mom, i was pretty sure that your family will come too. I had this kind of
plan where i would just go talk to my mom about it and since i know that ur mom and
mine are close, i was like she will hear me and say something ig if u guys are
invited. So the plan worked heh.. your mom told me to like change ur mind and she
said "너가 시현이 좀 꼬셔봐" i was like what a good opportunity to talk to you. so i
did. i came up to you and my dumbass said "너네 어머니가 너 꼬시래" just like that
basically saying "your mom told me to flirt w you" ygwim as like flirt😭. anyways
after i heard what i said and u were like "what..?" i was like fml but i like
stuttered really bad idk if u remember but i was like explain every word like "your
mom told me to 꼬심 you to come to cheolwoo's house" and very very luckily or god
did you were like yea i heard theres was gonna be sushis so im thinking if i should
or not and after i was like yeah you should!! and it just ended like that. i had
그리스도 확신 that day and after that my friends told me that they were going to
bowling with some of ur friends and i had absolutely no idea if u were going or
not. i was like since hes not going id rly want to. but when i came back u were
rushing to join them..lol anyways so i was like why wouldnt i not join so i even
asked my mom for money since i was broke(still am) and she gave the money and i was
on call w jiwoo and she told me that apparently when u heard that i was otw u were
interested in somehow idk im prob delulu, anyways so i joined yall we went to
bowling and i realise that the strike i got was actually not mine but u just faked
it...its fine i was so happy back then oh and i really liked the fact we had
similar taste (the salami). I kinda tried to have interactions with you but it just
like didnt work...so after that since my mom asked ur mom if she could pick me up
we had to go tgt so otw since like taeyoung was there nothing big but i remember
just asking random questions about an artist. anyway so after that i got in the car
and we were talking with sophie, your sister and just debating abt dog vs cat u and
i were like dogs on top and we dabbed up it was rly nice. so after we arrived we
ate and played mafia not just bc i like u but it was SO FUN like u and i just like
playing with ynuho i srs loved it. anyways after we went outside and otw i was
trying to take a pick of you guys and i saw u taking a picture of me not like
secretly but yk just as memory when me and jiwoo and we were jst behind. i just
think of every single thing youve done to me. so while playing tag i remember
having so much interactions with you especially when we were only us on the chairs?
you came up and sat beside me and we dabbed again it was really nice, after we just
said bye and that week, im telling you i was obessvely in love with you i barely
couldnt pass a day without thinking you. So i texted you. i replied to ur notes
"frll" and thats how it started. After i texted you, i was probably delivered for
like 20 minutes? so i was really like stressed and yk like i kinda made the first
move so i was rly anxious and after you replied u were like "yea i cant wait for
christmas too" i was kinda like the fact u left me on delivered kinda like made me
do the same thing so i answered 15min later and it was kinda late so u answered
like the next day. i was disappointed but i dont blame u cus it was my fault i
guess. Im really bipolar so like every single thing u do to me will change my mood
that day and still today. so what i replied and u left on delivered the WHOLE night
was like "would u join if we do anything on christmas" and u were like "ig if we do
the dance" so i was like "oh okok" as like ayt yk and after that days passed and it
was friday i accidentally forgot my airpods that day at church and told my mom
about it and since she was going to the early morning services she told me taht she
would get it for me. i guess she said that to the pastor and you were probably
close to him and u heard him. after u texted me and told me that 애숙 권사님 found my
airpod i woke up with a text from you and that literally made my day i was so
happy. anyways our convo continued a little and t

well i stopped writing here and too much stuff happened so id remember all in order
but ill write things that i remember recently

i remmber when we went to the cafe after the morning worship it was so awkward i
actually wanted kms but after ig it was alr? there was the cafe and the dance
practice the kantata practices and kantata the phone lost ill mostly talk about
karaoke. oh before theres the gift basically i think like 2 weeks ago from
christmas sophie told me that u bought gifts for ur friends and u got me two which
got me extremely excited and i absolutely love ur gift so ill talk abt the dance
practice we had the satuday tjat dau evertuomg was actually not normal it was a
long day so we had the morning worship so we bascailly stayed tgt the whole day til
afternoon and so much thing happened but theres the thing where yeongsu started
sayuing "아 티난다 티나" i for sure knew what he meant but i played dumb and iwas
shook that u liked me and the 24 this christmas eve will stay legit forever like at
first when we were otw to downtown in the metro was pretty normal but the one at
lionel groulx u sat next to me but u didnt have any choice so i was kinda happy
after that there wasnt much thing and the KARAOKE it was smtg like i was
disappointed that u were at my sisters friend group room for so long but at the end
u came and we sang some songs tgt. i was jealous that day if im being honest like
that sowon and u had like the small talk idk but like what can i really do and idk
i think it was that night where u sent me the video where it says to be friends
forever. i really love you so much as everything youre such a nice person like when
u sent me that my heart beated so fast and the christmas. it was nice we went to
momo it was just normal day oh and the day i gave my gift it was so hard to find
the good timing like i couldntt so the days passes and ITS 수련회!!!!! my sister
told me that she put me and u in the same team on purpose bc ykk and i was happy
and my mom told me to not follow u or like be ur shadow? yk so i did and u came up
to me and we stayed tgt for so long i loved it. i never thought you would sit
beside me but u diddd so i was so happy. id rly remember the ninja factory tbh
except that we stayed tgt for some time after the time ended. its the 2nd day i had
so much fun and something im really sad is that the fact i couldnt hug you when we
did the pray for eachother but i did hold your hands and it was so nice hehe. i
didnt have enough time but i really couldve if the pastor gave us more time. that
night/morning it was just normal we played 참참참 like infinitly but it was sooo
funnnn until 청년부 called me to ask questions like i was so unconfortable and i
dont blame you at all like 100% their fault. after that we talked and slept for
like max 30min i think and morning worship. after that we said bye and until sunday
basically 31 december like ntg BIG happened except some teas i think probably that
i heard from my sister. the 31 december was fun too. you came to my house we played
and it was so much funn. and basically at 송구영신예배 while waiting for the worship
we were at 영유아부실 with dodam and yall shipped us and it was so fun just in
general and that night jiwoo came to my house and we had a sleepover. during the
sleepover(?) yeongsu asked questions about us to jiwoo and she texted yeongsu
literally the whole night abt how we or you (hehe) is 답답함. i also found out that
you dont really tell much to yeongsu? and he even told me that im probably the one
u txt en dernier and i kinda 설렘 hehe. yeongsu even told jiwoo which i eventually
heard that u sent me snap first at the new year and i thought u sent it to everyone
but it was just me hhehehe SO its new year and we went to bowling today. it was fun
except at tim hortons you guys mentioned like ur exes etc. i was kinda annoyed so i
was kinda depressed but its all fine..i guess? so when i came back home jiwoo and
rumi talked abt it and they made a gc w/o me n u to talk kinda help us idk. and i
found that you care about me so much or like our relationship that youre too scared
to break up but WHAT ARE YOU SCARED AND WAITING FOR I LOVE YOU SO MUCH LIKE WHATTT
anyways so thats all for today and i just want to let you know i really sincerly
love you im going to write a letter? abt how i appreciate you because THANK YOU AND
THANK GOD. P.S. i asked ashley to ask yeongsu why u like me and u told me its bc im
cute, pretty, handsome(?), cool and confortable heheheheeh