Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Who Is Podcast Guest Turned Star Andrew Huberman, Really?
Who Is Podcast Guest Turned Star Andrew Huberman, Really?
Andrew Huberman’s
Mechanisms of
Control The private
and public
seductions of the
world’s biggest pop HUBERMAN
neuroscientist. LAB
By Kerry Howley, a features writer for New
York Magazine since 2021.
2550
1x (รี
Photo-Illustration: New York Magazine; Source image: Sciocomm Media
This article was featured in One Great Story, New York’s reading recommendation
newsletter. Sign up here to get it nightly.
F
or the past three years, one of the biggest podcasters on the planet
has told a story to millions of listeners across half a dozen shows:
There was a little boy, and the boy’s family was happy, until one day,
the boy’s family fell apart. The boy was sent away. He foundered, he found
therapy, he found science, he found exercise. And he became strong.
“The thing that really saved me,” Huberman tells Peter Attia, “was this
therapy thing … I was like, Oh, shit … I do have to choke back a little bit
here. It’s a crazy thing to have somebody say, ‘Listen,’ like, to give you the
confidence, like, ‘We’re gonna figure this out. We’re gonna figure this out.’
There’s something very powerful about that. It wasn’t like, you know,
‘Everything will be okay.’ It was like, We’re gonna figure this out.”
The wayward son would devote himself to therapy and also to science. He
would turn Rancid all the way up and study all night long. He would be
tenured at Stanford with his own lab, severing optic nerves in mice and
noting what grew back.
Huberman has been in therapy, he says, since high school. He has, in fact,
several therapists, and psychiatrist Paul Conti appears on his podcast
frequently to discuss mental health. Therapy is “hard work … like going to
the gym and doing an effective workout.” The brain is a machine that needs
tending. Our cells will benefit from the careful management of stress. “I love
mechanism,” says Huberman; our feelings are integral to the apparatus.
There are Huberman Husbands (men who optimize), a phenomenon not to
be confused with #DaddyHuberman (used by women on TikTok in the
man’s thrall).
A prophet must constrain his self-revelation. He must give his story a shape
that ultimately tends toward inner strength, weakness overcome. For
Andrew Huberman to become your teacher and mine, as he very much was
for a period this fall — a period in which I diligently absorbed sun upon
waking, drank no more than once a week, practiced physiological sighs in
traffic, and said to myself, out loud in my living room, “I also love
mechanism”; a period during which I began to think seriously, for the first
time in my life, about reducing stress, and during which both my husband
and my young child saw tangible benefit from repeatedly immersing
themselves in frigid water; a period in which I realized that I not only liked
this podcast but liked other women who liked this podcast — he must be, in
some way, better than the rest of us.
Huberman sells a dream of control down to the cellular level. But something
has gone wrong. In the midst of immense fame, a chasm has opened
between the podcaster preaching dopaminergic restraint and a man, with
newfound wealth, with access to a world unseen by most professors. The
problem with a man always working on himself is that he may also be
working on you.
S
ome of Andrew’s earliest Instagram posts are of his lab. We see
smiling undergraduates “slicing, staining, and prepping brains” and a
wall of framed science publications in which Huberman-authored
papers appear: Nature, Cell Reports, The Journal of Neuroscience. In 2019,
under the handle @hubermanlab, Andrew began posting straightforward
educational videos in which he talks directly into the camera about subjects
such as the organizational logic of the brain stem. Sometimes he would talk
over a simple anatomical sketch on lined paper; the impression was, as it is
now, of a fast-talking teacher in conversation with an intelligent student.
The videos amassed a fan base, and Andrew was, in 2020, invited on some
of the biggest podcasts in the world. On Lex Fridman Podcast, he talked
about experiments his lab was conducting by inducing fear in people. On EDITOR’S PICKS
The Rich Roll Podcast, the relationship between breathing and motivation.
On The Joe Rogan Experience, experiments his lab was conducting on mice.
E AR LY AND OF T EN
What Explains
He was a fluid, engaging conversationalist, rich with insight and informed
Tammy Murphy’s
advice. In a year of death and disease, when many felt a sense of agency
Curiously Early Exit?
slipping away, Huberman had a gentle plan. The subtext was always the
same: We may live in chaos, but there are mechanisms of control.
G R E AT R O O M S
By then he had a partner, Sarah, which is not her real name. Sarah was A Tree House for Two
someone who could talk to anyone about anything. She was dewy and strong
Architects in Carroll
Gardens
and in her mid-40s, though she looked a decade younger, with two small
kids from a previous relationship. She had old friends who adored her and
L I F E A F T ER R O E
no trouble making new ones. She came across as scattered in the way she
jumped readily from topic to topic in conversation, losing the thread before
The Supreme Court
Conservatives’
returning to it, but she was in fact extremely organized. She was a woman
Victorian Abortion
who kept track of things. She was an entrepreneur who could organize a Fantasy
meeting, a skill she would need later for reasons she could not possibly have
predicted. When I asked her a question in her home recently, she said the
answer would be on an old phone; she stood up, left for only a moment, and
returned with a box labeled OLD PHONES.
Sarah’s relationship with Andrew began in February 2018 in the Bay Area,
where they both lived. He messaged her on Instagram and said he owned a
home in Piedmont, a wealthy city separate from Oakland. That turned out
not to be precisely true; he lived off Piedmont Avenue, which was in
Oakland. He was courtly and a bit formal, as he would later be on the
podcast. In July, in her garden, Sarah says she asked to clarify the depth of
their relationship. They decided, she says, to be exclusive.
Both had devoted their lives to healthy living: exercise, good food, good
information. They cared immoderately about what went into their bodies.
Andrew could command a room and clearly took pleasure in doing so. He
was busy and handsome, healthy and extremely ambitious. He gave the
impression of working on himself; throughout their relationship, he would
talk about “repair” and “healthy merging.” He was devoted to his bullmastiff,
Costello, whom he worried over constantly: Was Costello comfortable?
Sleeping properly? Andrew liked to dote on the dog, she says, and he liked to
be doted on by Sarah. “I was never sitting around him,” she says. She cooked
for him and felt glad when he relished what she had made. Sarah was
willing to have unprotected sex because she believed they were
monogamous.
When Carney got there, the two did not go camping. Huberman simply
disappeared for most of a day and a half while Carney stayed home with
Costello. He puttered around Huberman’s place, buying a juice, walking
through the neighborhood, waiting for him to return. “It was extremely
weird,” says Carney. Huberman texted from elsewhere saying he was busy
working on a grant. (A spokesperson for Huberman says he clearly
communicated to Carney that he went to work.) Eventually, instead of
MOST VIEWED STORIES
camping, the two went on a few short hikes.
1. Andrew Huberman’s
Even when physically present, Huberman can be hard to track. “I don’t have Mechanisms of Control
total fidelity to who Andrew is,” says his friend Patrick Dossett. “There’s
always a little unknown there.” He describes Andrew as an “amazing thought
2. Who’s Behind All the ‘Pussy
partner” with “almost total recall,” such a memory that one feels the need to in Bio’ on X?
watch what one says; a stray comment could surface three years later. And
yet, at other times, “you’re like, All right, I’m saying words and he’s nodding
or he is responding, but I can tell something I said sent him down a path that
3. What the Polls Say Today:
RFK Jr. Now Hurting Biden,
he’s continuing to have internal dialogue about, and I need to wait for him to
Helping Trump
come back.”
A
Ohtani, and That’s Not
ndrew Huberman declined to be interviewed for this story. Through
Helping Him
a spokesman, Huberman says he did not become exclusive with
Sarah until late 2021, that he was not doted on, that tasks between
him and Sarah were shared “based on mutual agreement and proficiency,” 5. Trump Sells $59.99 Bible
that their Thanksgiving plans were tentative, and that he “maintains a very That Isn’t Even Gold
busy schedule and shows up to the vast majority of his commitments.”
In the fall of 2020, Huberman sold his home in Oakland and rented one in
Topanga, a wooded canyon enclave contiguous with Los Angeles. When he
came back to Stanford, he stayed with Sarah, and when he was in Topanga,
Sarah was often with him.
When they fought, it was, she says, typically because Andrew would fixate on
her past choices: the men she had been with before him, the two children
she had had with another man. “I experienced his rage,” Sarah recalls, “as
two to three days of yelling in a row. When he was in this state, he would go
on until 11 or 12 at night and sometimes start again at two or three in the
morning.”
The relationship struck Sarah’s friends as odd. At one point, Sarah said, “I
just want to be with my kids and cook for my man.” “I was like, Who says
that?” says a close friend. “I mean, I’ve known her for 30 years. She’s a
powerful, decisive, strong woman. We grew up in this very feminist
community. That’s not a thing either of us would ever say.”
Sarah was not the only person who experienced the extent of Andrew’s
anger. In 2019, Carney sent Huberman materials from his then-forthcoming
book, The Wedge, in which Huberman appears. He asked Huberman to
confirm the parts in which he was mentioned. For months, Huberman did
not respond. Carney sent a follow-up email; if Huberman did not respond,
he would assume everything was accurate. In 2020, after months of saying
he was too busy to review the materials, Huberman called him and, Carney
says, came at him in a rage. “I’ve never had a source I thought was friendly
go bananas,” says Carney. Screaming, Huberman threatened to sue and
accused Carney of “violating Navy OpSec.”
In January 2021, Huberman launched his own podcast. Its reputation would
be directly tied to his role as teacher and scientist. “I’d like to emphasize that
this podcast,” he would say every episode, with his particular combination of
formality and discursiveness, “is separate from my teaching and research
roles at Stanford. It is, however, part of my desire and effort to bring zero-
cost-to-consumer information about science and science-related tools to the
general public.”
“I remember feeling quite lonely and making some efforts to repair that,”
Huberman would say on an episode in 2024. “Loneliness,” his interviewee
said, “is a need state.” In 2021, the country was in the later stages of a need
state: bored, alone, powerless. Huberman offered not only hours of
educative listening but a plan to structure your day. A plan for waking. For
eating. For exercising. For sleep. At a time when life had shifted to screens,
he brought people back to their corporeal selves. He advised a “physiological
sigh” — two short breaths in and a long one out — to reduce stress. He
pulled countless people from their laptops and put them in rhythm with the
sun. “Thank you for all you do to better humanity,” read comments on
EDITOR’S PICKS
YouTube. “You may have just saved my life man.” “If Andrew were science
teacher for everyone in the world,” someone wrote, “no one would have
missed even a single class.” E AR LY AND OF T EN
What Explains
Asked by Time last year for his definition of fun, Huberman said, “I learn Tammy Murphy’s
and I like to exercise.” Among his most famous episodes is one in which he Curiously Early Exit?
declares moderate drinking decidedly unhealthy. As MacKenzie puts it, “I
don’t think anybody or anything, including Prohibition, has ever made more G R E AT R O O M S
people think about alcohol than Andrew Huberman.” While he claims A Tree House for Two
repeatedly that he doesn’t want to “demonize alcohol,” he fails to mask his Architects in Carroll
Gardens
obvious disapproval of anyone who consumes alcohol in any quantity. He
follows a time-restricted eating schedule. He discusses constraint even in
joy, because a dopamine spike is invariably followed by a drop below L I F E A F T ER R O E
baseline; he explains how even a small pleasure like a cup of coffee before The Supreme Court
Conservatives’
every workout reduces the capacity to release dopamine. Huberman
Victorian Abortion
frequently refers to the importance of “social contact” and “peace,
Fantasy
contentment, and delight,” always mentioned as a triad; these are ultimately
leveraged for the one value consistently espoused: physiological health.
In August 2021, Sarah says she read Andrew’s journal and discovered a
reference to cheating. She was, she says, “gutted.” “I hear you are saying you
are angry and hurt,” he texted her the same day. “I will hear you as much as
long as needed for us.”
In 2021, she tested positive for a high-risk form of HPV, one of the variants
linked to cervical cancer. “I had never tested positive,” she says, “and had
been tested regularly for ten years.” (A spokesperson for Huberman says he
has never tested positive for HPV. According to the CDC, there is currently
no approved test for HPV in men.) When she brought it up, she says, he told
her you could contract HPV from many things.
“I’d be remiss if I didn’t ask about truth-telling and deception,” Andrew told ___
“Could you tell us,” Andrew asked, “about how men and women leverage
deception versus truth-telling and communicating some of the things
around mate choice selection?”
“Effective tactics for men,” said a gravel-voiced, 68-year-old Buss, “are often
displaying cues to long-term interest … men tend to exaggerate the depths
of their feelings for a woman.”
“Men who have affairs tend to have affairs with a larger number of affair
partners,” said Buss. “And so which then by definition can’t be long-lasting.
You can’t,” added Buss wryly, “have the long-term affairs with six different
partners.”
“Yeah,” said Andrew, “unless he’s, um,” and here Andrew looked into the
distance. “Juggling multiple, uh, phone accounts or something of that sort.”
“Right, right, right, and some men try to do that, but I think it could be very
taxing,” said Buss.
B
y 2022, Andrew was legitimately famous. Typical headlines read “I
tried a Stanford professor’s top productivity routine” and “Google
CEO Uses ‘Nonsleep Deep Rest’ to Relax.” Reese Witherspoon told
the world that she was sure to get ten minutes of sunlight in the morning
and tagged Andrew. When he was not on his own podcast, Andrew was on
someone else’s. He kept the place in Topanga, but he and Sarah began
splitting rent in Berkeley. In June 2022, they fully combined lives; Sarah
relocated her family to Malibu to be with him.
Sarah was, in fact, changing. She felt herself getting smaller, constantly
appeasing. She apologized, again and again and again. “I have been selfish,
2. Who’s Behind All the ‘Pussy
in Bio’ on X?
childish, and confused,” she said. “As a result, I need your protection.” A
spokesperson for Huberman denies Sarah’s accounts of their fights, denies
that his rage intensified with cohabitation, denies that he fixated on Sarah’s 3. What the Polls Say Today:
decision to have children with another man, and denies that he said being RFK Jr. Now Hurting Biden,
with her was like bobbing for apples in feces. A spokesperson said, “Dr. Helping Trump
Huberman is very much in control of his emotions.”
4. We Don’t Know Shohei
The first three rounds of IVF did not produce healthy embryos. In the spring Ohtani, and That’s Not
of 2022, enraged again about her past, Andrew asked Sarah to explain in Helping Him
detail what he called her bad choices, most especially having her second
child. She wrote it out and read it aloud to him. A spokesperson for
5. Trump Sells $59.99 Bible
Huberman denies this incident and says he does not regard her having a That Isn’t Even Gold
second child as a bad choice.
I
think it’s important to recognize that we might have a model of who
someone is,” says Dossett, “or a model of how someone should conduct
themselves. And if they do something that is out of sync with that
model, it’s like, well, that might not necessarily be on that person. Maybe it’s
on us. Our model was just off.”
“Is a postdoc working on her own funding, alone, a ‘lab?’” asks a researcher
at Stanford. There had been a lab — four rooms on the second floor of the
Sherman Fairchild Science Building. Some of them smelled of mice. It was
here that researchers anesthetized rodents, injected them with fluorescence,
damaged their optic nerves, and watched for the newly bright nerves to
grow back.
The lab, says the researcher, was already scaling down before COVID. It was
emptying out, postdocs apparently unsupervised, a quarter-million-dollar
laser-scanning microscope gathering dust. Once the researcher saw
someone come in and reclaim a $3,500 rocker, a machine for mixing
solutions.
W
henever Sarah had suspicions about Andrew’s interactions with
another woman, he had a particular way of talking about the
woman in question. She says he said the women were stalkers,
alcoholics, and compulsive liars. He told her that one woman tore out her
hair with chunks of flesh attached to it. He told her a story about a woman
who fabricated a story about a dead baby to “entrap” him. (A spokesperson
for Huberman denies the account of the denigration of women and the
dead-baby story and says the hair story was taken out of context.) Most of
the time, Sarah believed him; the women probably were crazy. He was a
celebrity. He had to be careful.
It was in August 2022 that Sarah noticed she and Andrew could not go out
without being thronged by people. On a camping trip in Washington State
that same month, Sarah brought syringes and a cooler with ice packs. Every
day of the trip, he injected the drugs meant to stimulate fertility into her
stomach. This was round four.
Later that month, Sarah says she grabbed Andrew’s phone when he had left
it in the bathroom, checked his texts, and found conversations with someone
we will call Eve. Some of them took place during the camping trip they had
just taken.
“Your feelings matter,” he told Eve on a day when he had injected his
girlfriend with hCG. “I’m actually very much a caretaker.” And later: “I’m
back on grid tomorrow and would love to see you this weekend.”
Caught having an affair, Andrew was apologetic. “The landscape has been
incredibly hard,” he said. “I let the stress get to me … I defaulted to self safety
… I’ve also sat with the hardest of feelings.” “I hear your insights,” he said,
“and honestly I appreciate them.”
Sarah noticed how courteous he was with Eve. “So many offers,” she pointed
out, “to process and work through things.”
As their relationship intensified over the years, he talked often about the
family he one day wanted. “Our children would be amazing,” he said. She
asked for book recommendations and he suggested, jokingly, Huberman:
Why We Made Babies. “I’m at the stage of life where I truly want to build a
family,” he told her. “That’s a resounding theme for me.” “How to mesh lives,”
he said in a voice memo. “A fundamental question.” One time she heard him MOST VIEWED STORIES
say, on Joe Rogan, that he had a girlfriend. She texted him to ask about it,
and he responded immediately. He had a stalker, he said, and so his team 1. Andrew Huberman’s
had decided to invent a partner for the listening public. (“I later learned,” Mechanisms of Control
Eve tells me with characteristic equanimity, “that this was not true.”)
2. Who’s Behind All the ‘Pussy
In September 2022, Eve noticed that Sarah was looking at her Instagram in Bio’ on X?
stories; not commenting or liking, just looking. Impulsively, Eve messaged
her. “Is there anything you’d rather ask me directly?” she said. They set up a
3. What the Polls Say Today:
call. “Fuck you Andrew,” she messaged him.
RFK Jr. Now Hurting Biden,
Sarah moved out in August 2023 but says she remained in a committed
Helping Trump
relationship with Huberman. (A spokesperson for Huberman says they were
separated.) At Thanksgiving that year, she noticed he was “wiggly” every 4. We Don’t Know Shohei
time a cell phone came out at the table — trying to avoid, she suspected, Ohtani, and That’s Not
being photographed. She says she did not leave him until December. Helping Him
According to Sarah, the relationship ended, as it had started, with a lie. He
had been at her place for a couple of days and left for his place 5. Trump Sells $59.99 Bible
to prepare for a Zoom call; they planned to go Christmas shopping the next That Isn’t Even Gold
day. Sarah showed up at his house and found him on the couch with another
woman. She could see them through the window. “If you’re going to be a
cheater,” she advises me later, “do not live in a glass house.”
O
n January 11, a woman we’ll call Alex began liking all of Sarah’s
Instagram posts, seven of them in a minute. Sarah messaged her: “I
think you’re friends with my ex, Andrew Huberman. Are you one of
the woman he cheated on me with?” Alex is an intense, direct, highly
educated woman who lives in New York; she was sleeping with Andrew; and
she had no idea there had been a girlfriend. “Fuck,” she said. “I think we
should talk.” Over the following weeks, Sarah and Alex never stopped
texting. “She helped me hold my boundary against him,” says Sarah, “keep
him blocked. She said, ‘You need to let go of the idea of him.’” Instead of
texting Andrew, Sarah texted Alex. Sometimes they just talked about their
days and not about Andrew at all. Sarah still thought beautiful Eve, on the
other hand, “might be crazy,” but they talked some more and brought her
into the group chat. Soon there were others. There was Mary: a dreamy,
charismatic Texan he had been seeing for years. Her friends called Andrew
“bread crumbs,” given his tendency to disappear. There was a fifth woman in
L.A., funny and fast-talking. Alex had been apprehensive; she felt foolish for
believing Andrew’s lies and worried that the other women would seem
foolish, therefore compounding her shame. Foolish women were not,
however, what she found. Each of the five was assertive and successful and
educated and sharp-witted; there had been a type, and they were diverse
expressions of that type. “I can’t believe how crazy I thought you were,” Mary
told Sarah. No one struck anyone else as a stalker. No one had made up a
story about a dead baby or torn out hair with chunks in it. “I haven’t slept
with anyone but him for six years,” Sarah told the group. “If it makes you feel
any better,” Alex joked, “according to the CDC,” they had all slept with one
another.
There was a day in Texas when, after Sarah left his hotel, Andrew slept with
Mary and texted Eve. They found days in which he would text nearly
identical pictures of himself to two of them at the same time. They realized
that the day before he had moved in with Sarah in Berkeley, he had slept
with Mary, and he had also been with her in December 2023, the weekend
before Sarah caught him on the couch with a sixth woman.
“Phone died,” he texted Mary, who was waiting back at the place in Topanga.
And later, to Eve: “Thank you … For being so next, next, level gorgeous and
sexy.”
“The scheduling alone!” Alex tells me. “I can barely schedule three Zooms in
a day.”
“I remember him saying,” reads the first comment, “that he loves croissants.” EDITOR’S PICKS
E AR LY AND OF T EN
W
hile Huberman has been criticized for having too few women What Explains
guests on his podcast, he is solicitous and deferential toward Tammy Murphy’s
those he interviews. In a January 2023 episode, Dr. Sara Gottfried Curiously Early Exit?
argues that “patriarchal messaging” and white supremacy contribute to the
deterioration of women’s health, and Andrew responds with a story about G R E AT R O O M S
how his beloved trans mentor, Ben Barres, had experienced “intense A Tree House for Two
suppression/oppression” at MIT before transitioning. “Psychology is Architects in Carroll
Gardens
influencing biology,” he says with concern. “And you’re saying these power
dynamics … are impacting it.”
L I F E A F T ER R O E
In private, he could sometimes seem less concerned about patriarchy. The Supreme Court
Multiple women recall him saying he preferred the kind of relationship in Conservatives’
which the woman was monogamous but the man was not. “He told me,” says Victorian Abortion
Mary, “that what he wanted was a woman who was submissive, who he
Fantasy
could slap in the ass in public, and who would be crawling on the floor for
him when he got home.” (A spokesperson for Huberman denies this.) The
women continued to compare notes. He had his little ways of checking in:
“Good morning beautiful.” There was a particular way he would respond to a
sexy picture: “Mmmmm hi there.”
The kind of women to whom Andrew Huberman was attracted; the kind of
women who were attracted to him — these were women who paid attention
to what went into their bodies, women who made avoiding toxicity a central
focus of their lives. They researched non-hormone-disrupting products,
avoided sugar, ate organic. They were disgusted by the knowledge that they
had had sex with someone who had an untold number of partners. All of
them wondered how many others there were. When Sarah found Andrew
with the other woman, there had been a black pickup truck in the driveway,
and she had taken a picture. The women traced the plates, but they hit a
dead end and never found her.
T
ell us about the dark triad,” he had said to Buss in November on the
trip in which he slept with Mary.
“The dark triad consists of three personality characteristics,” said Buss. “So
narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy.” Such people “feign
cooperation but then cheat on subsequent moves. They view other people as
pawns to be manipulated for their own instrumental gains.” Those “who are
high on dark-triad traits,” he said, “tend to be good at the art of seduction.”
The vast majority of them were men.
Andrew told one of the women that he wasn’t a sex addict; he was a love
addict. Addiction, Huberman says, “is a progressing narrowing of things
that bring you joy.” In August 2021, the same month Sarah first learned of
Andrew’s cheating, he released an episode with Anna Lembke, chief of the
Stanford Addiction Medicine Dual Diagnosis Clinic. Lembke, the author of
a book called Dopamine Nation, gave a clear explanation of the
dopaminergic roots of addiction.
“Just for the record,” Andrew said, smiling, “Dr. Lembke has … diagnosed me
outside the clinic, in a playful way, of being work addicted. You’re probably
right!”
MOST VIEWED STORIES
Lembke laughed. “You just happen to be addicted,” she said gently, “to
1. Andrew Huberman’s
something that is really socially rewarded.” Mechanisms of Control
What he failed to understand, he said, was people who ruined their lives
with their disease. “I like to think I have the compassion,” he said, “but I 2. Who’s Behind All the ‘Pussy
don’t have that empathy for taking a really good situation and what from the in Bio’ on X?
outside looks to be throwing it in the trash.”
3. What the Polls Say Today:
At least three ex-girlfriends remain friendly with Huberman. He “goes deep RFK Jr. Now Hurting Biden,
very quickly,” says Keegan Amit, who dated Andrew from 2010 to 2017 and Helping Trump
continues to admire him. “He has incredible emotional capacity.” A high-
school girlfriend says both she and he were “troubled” during their time
4. We Don’t Know Shohei
together, that he was complicated and jealous but “a good person” whom she
Ohtani, and That’s Not
parted with on good terms. “He really wants to get involved emotionally but Helping Him
then can’t quite follow through,” says someone he dated on and off between
2006 and 2010. “But yeah. I don’t think it’s …” She hesitates. “I think he has
such a good heart.”
5. Trump Sells $59.99 Bible
That Isn’t Even Gold
A
ndrew grew up in Palo Alto just before the dawn of the internet, a
lost city. He gives some version of his origin story on The Rich Roll
Podcast; he repeats it for Tim Ferriss and Peter Attia. He tells Time
magazine and Stanford magazine. “Take the list of all the things a parent
shouldn’t do in a divorce,” he recently told Christian bowhunter Cameron
Hanes. “They did them all.” “You had,” says Wendy Zukerman in her bright
Aussie accent, “a wayward childhood.” “I think it’s very easy for people
listening to folks with a bio like yours,” says Tim Ferriss, “to sort of assume a
certain trajectory, right? To assume that it has always come easy.” His father
and mother agree that “after our divorce was an incredibly hard time for
Andrew,” though they “do not agree” with some of his characterization of his
past; few parents want to be accused of “pure neglect.”
Huberman would not provide the name of the detention center in which he
says he was held for a month in high school. In a version of the story
Huberman tells on Peter Attia’s podcast, he says, “We lost a couple of kids, a
couple of kids killed themselves while we were there.” (New York was unable
to find an account of this event.)
What does seem certain is that in his adolescence, Andrew became a regular
consumer of talk therapy. In therapy, one learns to tell stories about one’s
experience. A story one could tell is: I overcame immense odds to be where I
am. Another is: The son of a Stanford professor, born at Stanford Hospital,
grows up to be a Stanford professor.
I
have never,” says Amit, “met a man more interested in personal
growth.” Andrew’s relationship to therapy remains intriguing. “We
were at dinner once,” says Eve, “and he told me something personal,
and I suggested he talk to his therapist. He laughed it off like that wasn’t
ever going to happen, so I asked him if he lied to his therapist. He told me
he did all the time.” (A spokesperson for Huberman denies this.)
“People high on psychopathy are good at deception,” says Buss. “I don’t know
if they’re good at self-deception.” With repeated listening to the podcast, one
discerns a man undergoing, in public, an effort to understand himself. There
are hours of talking about addiction, trauma, dopamine, and fear.
Narcissism comes up consistently. One can see attempts to understand and
also places where those attempts swerve into self-indulgence. On a recent
episode with the Stanford-trained psychiatrist Paul Conti, Andrew and
Conti were describing the psychological phenomenon of “aggressive drive.”
Andrew had an example to share: He once canceled an appointment with a
Stanford colleague. There was no response. Eventually, he received a reply
that said, in Andrew’s telling, “Well, it’s clear that you don’t want to pursue
this collaboration.”
“I remember feeling like that was pretty aggressive,” Andrew told Conti. “It
stands out to me as a pretty salient example of aggression.”
EDITOR’S PICKS
“So to me,” said Huberman, “that seems like an example of somebody who
has a, well, strong aggressive drive … and when disappointed, you know, E AR LY AND OF T EN
lashes back or is passive.” What Explains
Tammy Murphy’s
“There’s some way in which the person doesn’t feel good enough no matter Curiously Early Exit?
what this person has achieved. So then there is a sense of the need and the
right to overcontrol.” G R E AT R O O M S
A Tree House for Two
“Sure,” said Huberman. Architects in Carroll
Gardens
“And now we’re going to work together, right, so I’m exerting significant
control over you, right? And it may be that he’s not aware of it.”
L I F E A F T ER R O E
“In this case,” said Andrew, “it was a she.” The Supreme Court
Conservatives’
This woman, explained Conti, based entirely on Andrew’s description of two Victorian Abortion
emails, had allowed her unhealthy “excess aggression” to be “eclipsing the Fantasy
generative drive.” She required that Andrew “bowed down before” her “in the
service of the ego” because she did not feel good about herself.
“There’s so much pain,” says Sarah, her voice breaking. “Feeling we had
made mistakes. We hadn’t been enough. We hadn’t been communicating. By
making these other women into the other, I hadn’t really given space for
their hurt. And let it sink in with me that it was so similar to my own hurt.”
Three of the women on the group text met up in New York in February, and
the group has only grown closer. On any given day, one of the five can go
into an appointment and come back to 100 texts. Someone shared a Reddit
thread in which a commenter claimed Huberman had a “stable full a hoes,”
and another responded, “I hope he thinks of us more like Care Bears,” at
which point they assigned themselves Care Bear names. “Him: You’re the
only girl I let come to my apartment,” read a meme someone shared; under
it was a yellow lab looking extremely skeptical. They regularly use Andrew’s
usual response to explicit photos (“Mmmmm”) to comment on pictures of
one another’s pets. They are holding space for other women who might join.
“This group has radicalized me,” Sarah tells me. “There has been so much
processing.” They are planning a weekend together this summer.
“It could have been sad or bitter,” says Eve. “We didn’t jump in as besties, but
real friendships have been built. It has been, in a strange and unlikely way,
quite a beautiful experience.”
Want more stories like this one? Subscribe now to support our journalism and get
unlimited access to our coverage. If you prefer to read in print, you can also find this
article in the March 25, 2024, issue of New York Magazine.
3/26/2024 DISASTERS
SP O NS ORE D
Get closer to what you love with up to $300 to spend onboard your
next P&O cruise
B O OK N O W
MOST POPULAR
3. What the Polls Say Today: RFK Jr. Now Hurting Biden, Helping Trump
By ED KILGORE
3/26/2024 POLITICS
3/26/2024 GAMES
3/26/2024 MAGA
SP O NS ORE D
Get closer to what you love with up to $300 to spend onboard your
next P&O cruise
B O OK N O W
3/25/2024 POLITICS
SP O NS ORE D
Get closer to what you love with up to $300 to spend onboard your
next P&O cruise
B O OK N O W
ABOUT INTELLIGENCER ABOUT NEW YORK MAGAZINE NEWSLETTERS HELP CONTAC T PRESS MEDIA KIT WE’RE HIRING P R I VA C Y
INTELLIGENCER IS A VOX MEDIA NETWORK. © 2024 VOX MEDIA, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.