AsTORIa

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/52780915.

Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Categories: F/F, Gen
Fandom: Victorious (TV)
Relationship: Tori Vega/Jade West
Characters: Tori Vega, Jade West, André Harris, Cat Valentine, Beck Oliver, Robbie
Shapiro, Rex Powers, Holly Vega, Trina Vega, David Vega
Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Sexual Identity, Internalized Homophobia, Mental Health
Issues, Angst, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Jori - Freeform,
Underage Drinking
Language: English
Series: Part 1 of Tode (Because I can't come up with something better)
Stats: Published: 2024-01-03 Completed: 2024-04-03 Words: 90,985 Chapters:
14/14
 AsTORIa
by TheAmazingS

Summary

The Platinum Music Awards should have been a night of triumph, and not just for Tori Vega.
Jade West finally did right by Tori and was ready to admit that, okay, they might be friends.
Potentially. Maybe. If you squint. But the night ends in tragedy and Jade is left reeling. Can
she find a way to right herself as she spends the summer far away from anything she knows?
What secrets about herself will she discover in Astoria?
 Chapter 1

Tori Vega died the night of the Platinum Music Awards.

It was only for two minutes, but still.

Tori died.

Jade was still trying to wrap her head around that months later.

It didn’t help that, not two weeks after getting out of the hospital, Tori disappeared. She had
sent Andre a message on The Slap saying that Los Angeles was too much, so her parents
were taking her to stay the summer at her grandparents’ place. The others may have taken
that at face value, but Jade could read the subtext from the complete radio silence that
followed.

By ‘Los Angeles,’ Tori really meant that they had been too much.

Not that she blamed her, really. If she had been through what Tori had, Jade wouldn’t have
been able to deal with how over the top their friend group could be, either. Though her way
of not dealing would probably be more ‘violence against puppets’ and less ‘running away.’

She didn’t have a lot of room to talk, though, considering she was in Astoria, Oregon.

It was for an internship that Sikowitz had set up, however. Jade was the assistant director for
some college classmate of his at a local theater, so it wasn’t like she had just up and bailed on
everyone. They also all knew where she was, and she was answering calls and texts. So it
was the opposite of what Tori had done.

Okay, so maybe she was feeling a touch bitter about Tori’s leaving.

Jade sighed and leaned back against the wood-paneled wall behind her bed in the cottage she
was renting. She knew she was bored if she was really dwelling on Tori and that whole…
thing this much.

Unfortunately, she was left to her thoughts quite a bit since coming to Astoria. The Bayview
Cottages had the benefit of being cheap, and Jade could pay monthly, which was helping her
budget. Her father had left her with an allowance for the summer that Jade had to make last.
While he would refill her account if she ran out, Jade really didn’t want to make that call. It
would interrupt ‘family time’ with wife number two in Colorado. And the interruption would
come with a lecture about artistic pursuits that would amount to nothing and something,
something, damn liberals.

Yeah. No thanks.

Among the many problems with Jade’s studio cottage was the mustard yellow carpeting. It
was like someone reached into her brain and pulled out three things she hated and found a
way to combine them. It was also old and modern amenities were sparse. Aside from a
kitchenette, it only had basic cable for one of those ancient, heavy TVs. That was as far as the
extras went. No ethernet access, much less wireless, not even a pool. Not that she would go
swimming here, considering ‘hot’ for these people was a cold day in LA. How anyone could
stand to be in a pool when it had yet to get above sixty-five, she couldn’t fathom.

The complex had been used in an Arnold Swartzenegger movie from the 80s, which Jade
took great pleasure in teasing Beck about, as he was a closet fan. At least once a day, she
would send something like ‘Do you think Arnold used my toilet?’ Not that she really cared
too much about that aspect of the motel. It was supposed to be haunted, though. It was what
drew her to pick the Bayview to stay at while in Astoria. The legend was that a wife caught
her husband with a prostitute in one of the units and murdered both before killing herself.
The wife’s ghost allegedly haunted the place, scaring off potential Johns.

As if on cue, the rhythmic thumping and loud grunting on the wall behind her dispelled that
particular myth.

“Oh, come on, Windi,” Jade said with an eye roll and loud enough that they could hear it
through the paper-thin walls. “It's not even nine-thirty yet.”

The only response was a series of thumps against the wall, as if someone was knocking.

Jade sighed, gathered up her bag and jacket and was out the door before the performance next
door really ramped up. Windi was…vocal. As an actress, Jade could tell when someone was
putting on a show for the benefit of the audience and could appreciate the effort put into the
act. Staying around for it was a different story.

Rehearsal for the play wasn’t until the evening, since it was a community theater and
everyone, including the director, had day jobs. Her own shift at her side gig was due to begin
in another forty-five minutes, and she had learned that it was a fifteen minute walk. So, off
she set, deciding that being early was better than the alternative.

Jade had found herself without much to do for a few days when she first arrived in Astoria
until one of the cast members took pity on her and offered her a job working at the coffee
shop he owned just down the highway from her. Jade jumped at the chance, both out of a
need for something to do and also to help pad out her allowance. Georgie was actually pretty
great to work for, outside of one tiny hiccup two days into her employment, and Jade got to
be around coffee, which made her happy.

About five minutes into her walk, breaking glass shattered the silence, coming from Jade’s
PearPhone. A elderly couple going the opposite way on the sidewalk jumped in surprise and
stared at her in horror. Jade smiled tightly and unlocked her phone, feeling her right eye
twitch at the text from the director of the play, Thaddeus.

Worst Director Ever ( 9:35 a.m.)

Brng my dry clnng w U 2 rhrsl. Dry Clnrs R Us.

She really hated people who used abbreviations when texting. It's not like he saved a lot of
time by not typing the 'i' in 'bring.'

Jade fought the urge to shoot back that he could get his own damn laundry, she wasn’t his
maid. This internship would look good on her college resume. That had been her mantra after
meeting the moron the week before. The internship would look good on her resume. It’s what
she told herself when Thaddeus had her hanging upside down from the lighting rigging the
night before to change a light bulb (the lighting technician was on an electrical emergency
and, for some reason, there was no ladder). And when he had her sniff his arm to try and
identify a weird smell.

Jade was pretty sure it was halibut.

Thankfully, Dry Cleaners R Us was on her way (literally next door to Bayview), so it wasn’t
too much of a hassle, exactly. Just endlessly annoying that she had to do it in the first place.
The door chimed as she pushed it open and the smell of the solvents hit her hard. A small,
balding man with huge Coke-bottle glasses emerged from behind a plastic curtain. “Can I
help you?”

“Yeah, I need to pick up the order for Thaddeus Wilkins,” Jade said, forcing herself to sound
completely bored and not pissed off.

Coke-bottles hummed to himself and shuffled to the computer at the front counter.
“Wilkins…Wilkins…ah. That one .”

Jade raised an eyebrow at the tone of the man's voice. “Do I want to know?”

“Most likely not, my dear,” he said and started walking down a row of bagged laundry. He
pulled a bag from the rack and laid it on the counter. “Three suede suit jackets and a wool
coat. The bill has already been paid. Oh, and please tell him to never use us again.”

This internship better get me a damn Oscar , Jade thought as she collected the clothes and
left the store. The rest of the walk to the coffee shop was unfortunately quiet, allowing Jade
to lose herself in her thoughts. As much as she loved Hollywood Arts, she was glad for the
break from the craziness. It had been pretty much nonstop since well before the breakup with
Beck, which felt like years ago, not months.

She missed him. Maybe not being in a relationship with him, because, holy crap, were they
toxic together. Distance and a lot of quiet time for thinking allowed her to see that. No, what
she missed more than anything was the companionship. He was still her first impulse to call
with news or to vent. Beck wouldn’t mind if she did, probably, but she still felt they needed
distance from each other. Unfortunately, there weren't a lot of others lining up to be Jade
West's best friend.

God, she wished she could take back the things she said the night of the break up. Jade
regretted it all almost immediately (except the part about nobody liking Trina), but something
in her wouldn’t let her swallow her pride and apologize. Robbie hadn’t said more than a
handful of words directly to her since, instead letting that loathsome fucking puppet do the
talking. Andre was a little friendlier, as was his nature, but there was still a distance. Cat, at
least, had carried on like nothing had happened and they had hung out like normal.

Of course, there was a better than average chance that Cat also had forgotten about the whole
‘basically a pet’ thing by the time the poker game at Tori’s broke up.

Tori also hadn’t really been fazed by her outburst and, in truth, had been the only one of them
to reach out to Jade that night. That single text message, coming while Jade was sobbing in
her dark bedroom, meant more than she would ever admit. It just wasn’t in Jade’s nature to
show it overtly, so she tried to let her appreciation come through in other ways. Mostly by
being a little less of a raging gank. Some things, however, were just as natural as breathing,
but she really did try to reel it in. Of course, everything changed because of what happened
surrounding the Platinum Awards…

Nope. Not going down that rabbit hole again.

Pushing any thoughts about Tori out of her head, Jade proceeded to march the rest of the way
to the coffee shop, her boots heavy on the sidewalk. The sun was weakly shining, probably
the first time in a few days, though there was a lingering fog that stubbornly refused to burn
off even as they got to mid-morning. Jade actually found herself not outright hating the
weather in Oregon, since it gave off something of a haunted, ghost-story vibe. She couldn’t
see herself moving here permanently, but it wasn’t the worst place to be for a couple of
months.

A small smile came to Jade’s lips as she caught sight of the sign for Georgie’s Fabulous Java
EmPOURium. The name was ridiculous, but then so was the owner. The sign was done in a
glowing red that resembled a diner out of the 1950s. Even the interior was designed to evoke
the aesthetic, with a checkerboard tile floor and booths with red vinyl benches. Jade was
thankful that Georgie didn’t make them dress up like 1950s waitresses for the uniform,
instead letting them roll in wearing whatever, as long as they ‘dressed like an adult.’

The combined aroma of muffins and coffee hit Jade as she pushed open the front door to the
shop. She loved the smell of coffee almost as much as actually drinking it. It was her favorite
aisle in the grocery store, and she hated going shopping. Too many sticky kids not being paid
enough attention to by parents, the workers would always follow her around because she
dressed ‘in a suspicious manner,’ and little old ladies would still try to use checks at the
register. It was 2012, Grandma. Get a debit card!

Ugh.

“Jade!” She looked up as her name was squealed in delight. Georgie, the owner of the
EmPOURium along with his partner Dusty, came around the counter at the back, arms held
wide and a huge grin on his face. He stopped just short of actually hugging her, though.
Boundaries had been established on the first day of rehearsal.

Georgie was a big man, and not just because he was fifty pounds overweight. Physically, he
was imposing, like a lineman on a football team. Personality-wise, however, he was a giant
teddy bear. Jade found herself liking the man almost immediately, despite herself. He was a
little flighty, at least when it came to outside the coffee shop pursuits. He would vamp it up a
lot during rehearsals, sometimes intentionally ruining a scene to get everyone to laugh and
decompress.

“You’re early.”

Jade smirked. “So was Windi with two i’s.”

The smile turned into a frown in a heartbeat. “Girl, you need to find somewhere else to stay.”

“I’m fine,” Jade bit out, shooting Georgie a glare.

He held up his hands in a placating gesture. “Just know Dusty and I have a spare room if you
decide otherwise.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Jade said with a sigh, trying to reign in her spiking temper. She had been
doing that a lot lately, trying not to let Vesuvius blow. She didn't want to dwell on the reasons
for that. Again.

Georgie shook his head and then took a step back and fluttered his hands up and down. “Oh,
you are rocking this outfit!”

Jade raised an eyebrow at the obvious topic change and looked down. She didn’t think she
was wearing anything really that spectacular. It was just a long-sleeved green top, black skirt
and tights, and her red combat boots. Now that she thought about it, it was nearly the same
outfit that she was wearing when she gave Tori her Christmas 'present’ and Vega got a little…

Damn it , Jade thought furiously. Why does my mind keep going back to Tori today?

She shook it off and said, “I know I’m early and all, but I might as well get started.”

Georgie nodded. “Well, it’s pretty slow this morning, so I think Aspen, Jean, and I can handle
the front. Would you mind helping Dusty in the back? I think he’s experimenting with his
fudge recipe again. You can put your dry cleaning back in my office.”

“Not mine,” Jade said mood darkening. The mention of the director also served to distract her
from the fact that Georgie still didn’t trust her up front. “Thaddeus’s.”

Georgie sighed. “That man. Such a drama queen. And that’s coming from me.”

Jade snorted and made her way behind the counter, where a paper cup of coffee was waiting
for her on the steel work bench by the espresso machine. Jade nodded her thanks to Aspen, a
University of Washington student home for the summer. They actually got along pretty well,
considering the age gap between them. It helped that Aspen was a music major, so they had
similar interests right off the bat.

She was about to push through the double doors to the employee only area of the coffee shop,
but stopped when Aspen called out. “We’re practicing tonight if you want to stop by and
hang out.”
Jade considered it for a moment. Aspen, along with her boyfriend and a couple of others, had
started a band a few years ago. They played together as much as they could, but Aspen had
said that really only amounted to the summers, since she and another girl, Meghan, both were
in college and, as such, weren’t around as much. Meghan, apparently, wasn’t even here at all
this summer, as she was doing the stereotypical ‘about to graduate to the real world, so let’s
backpack across Europe’ thing. Aspen had been trying to get Jade to come by since she
started at the coffee shop, though she always had an excuse to skip.

Mostly because they were a bluegrass band.

However, Jade found herself not wanting to put up with Windi and her ‘acting’ for another
lonely evening. “Yeah, sure. I’ve got nothing better.”

Aspen’s face lit up with a huge smile. “Awesome! Willa is coming by, also, so you can just
ride with her after rehearsal tonight.”

“Cool,” Jade said with a flat tone. “Looking forward to it.”

That got a dry chuckle. “Yeah. You really sound so enthusiastic.”

Jade rolled her eyes and pushed her way to the back, pausing only briefly to hang the dry
cleaning in the small office just off to the right of the swinging doors. The back was pretty
standard for a coffee shop, with plenty of storage, coolers, and shiny, silver machines. A
radio was softly playing a pop station, with a deep, rumbly voice singing along with…was
that Gotye?

Bold choice, Dusty, Jade thought with a snort.

Turning the corner into the “lab,” as Georgie teasingly called it, Jade found Dusty standing at
a counter, mixing bowl in hand, dancing and singing to the song. She smiled a little at the
scene. It was impossible to hate Dusty, even more so than Georgie, who could turn up his
more flamboyant tendencies to twenty on occasion. Dusty, however, had a calming presence
almost anywhere but in the kitchen, where he could be almost kid-like when he was baking.
Together, they balanced each other out well and made a great team.

If Jade believed in something so mushy, she would call what the two of them had
‘relationship goals.’

A laugh bubbled out of her when Dusty spun around, using the spoon in his hand as a
microphone as the song finished out, busting out the final words with a lot more gusto than
called for. Dusty looked up in surprise at suddenly having an audience. “Jade! I didn’t know
you were here.”

“Oh, I could tell,” Jade said. “Nice moves, old man.”

Dusty scoffed. “Old man? I’ll have you know I’m in the prime of my life.”

“By that you mean a prime number?”

“Ouch,” Dusty said, placing a hand over his heart. “Just for that, you don’t get to try my
latest experiment.”

Jade’s eyes widened. “NO! Dude, that’s not cool!”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Dusty said with a fond chuckle. “There’s plenty for everybody. That pan
over there is a rejected batch.”

Jade followed his gesture to a counter to her left, where a metal pan was sitting all by its
lonesome. She grabbed a spatula and cut out a chunk, shoving it in her mouth without
hesitation. Jade’s eyes lit up and she let out an embarrassing moan. “Holy chiz, man. This is
your reject batch?”

Dusty made a face. “Consistency isn’t right. Needs to be a little firmer.”

Jade took another bite. “Is this…gingerbread?”

“Good catch,” Dusty said with a grin. “I’m trying to get it perfected before the fall. Maybe
even have a whole holiday selection in December. Peppermint fudge, hot chocolate fudge,
that kind of thing.”

“What can I do?” Jade asked as she washed her hands in the nearby sink.

Dusy gave her an appraising look. “Georgie still doesn’t trust you with customers?”

“It was one time,” Jade said heatedly. “Once. That guy was being a dick and said some really
terrible things.”

“Jade,” Dusty said with an amused shake of his head. “You pulled scissors on him.”

“He called you…”

“I know what he said. We all were there.”

Jade frowned. “It doesn’t bother you?”

That got a weary sigh out of Dusty, who sat down on a stool at the work table. “I”m a gay,
black man, Jade. Believe me, I’ve heard variations on the same couple of themes all my life.
When I was younger, and angrier, yeah, I fought back a little more forcefully than I probably
should have. Now, I focus my energies on the people willing to learn and grow. Small-
minded, limp-dicked assholes like that guy? Ultimately, they’re not worth my time.”

Jade took that in with a nod, but felt the need to add, “I still don’t regret it.”

Dusty muttered something that sounded vaguely like, ‘California people,’ before saying
louder, “All right, my assistant, grab an apron. We need to replenish the muffins for the lunch
rush. I need a couple batches of each of the blueberry, the lemon poppy-seed, and the apple
going as soon as we can.”
Jade nodded and walked over to the big, walk-in cooler to the left, pulling out the giant bowls
of muffin mix that Dusty had pre-made early that morning. The coffee shop opened at six, but
Dusty and Georgie were both in at four to get prepared for the day. Jade had no idea how they
did that each morning and still had the energy for things like being in plays. Though Georgie
was the thespian of the two; Dusty apparently was more into the adult softball league. Really
into it, from what Georgie said.

They worked in companionable silence with only the radio providing any other noise as they
each filled the baking trays and slid them into the giant ovens. Jade took the opportunity to
put the mixing utensils into the sanitizing wash and then re-covered and replaced the muffin
mixes back into the cooler. She wouldn’t admit this out loud, but she actually liked working
in the back with Dusty more than being up front, despite the allure of coffee.

Part of it was exactly what forced her to be back there in the first place; Jade West just didn’t
play well with most people, no matter how hard she tried. There was also something soothing
about baking. It allowed her to shut off her mind a little and just focus on the next step of the
recipe. And, at the end, she got a tasty treat out of it. It was win-win.

Aspen popped back a couple of times to let them know when they were low on something up
front, which had Jade bringing up muffins, fudge, or any of the other treats that Dusty made
fresh each day. She got so wrapped up in what she was doing, losing herself in the
mindlessness for a change, that she nearly screamed when she felt a tap on her shoulder. Jade
spun around, holding the mixing spoon out in front of her like a sword, eyes wide and chest
heaving. Dusty took a small step back, hands raised, though with a big smile on his face.

“Easy, there, d’Artagnan,” he said. “You’re due for a break. Can you do me a favor and run
that thing of fudge cake up front when you go?”

“Sure,” Jade said with a huff, trying to get her breathing back under control. She looked at
the time and realized it was almost one, which meant the lunch rush had already come and
went. Jade shook herself a little to try and calm down some more before scooping up the
display stand that Dusty indicated.

As she approached the front, she could hear the buzz of the coffee shop a little better, though
there was one voice that was rising above the din. It tickled something in the back of Jade’s
mind; somehow it was familiar, but she couldn’t completely place it. She heard Georgie
laugh at whatever the person said, though Jade came through the swinging doors back first
and couldn’t see who it was. Definitely a woman. Aspen wordlessly opened up the display
case, allowing Jade to place the cake without having to put it down first.

She stood and said, “Thanks.”

“SHUT. THE. FRONT. DOOR.”

Jade froze at the screech, recognizing it immediately now that it wasn’t muffled from the
back. No way. There is no fucking way.

But, as she turned slowly, Jade couldn’t deny who she was seeing.
Trina. Fucking. Vega.

Trina Vega in all her over the top glory. She looked like she was dressed for the beach in a
tank top, shorts and flip-flops. And everything was a violent shade of pink. Even the
sunglasses perched on her head. It was the kind of pink you drink when your stomach is
upset. The kind of pink Jade hated with a passion reserved usually only for ducks and people
who talk during movies in the theater. And it was draped all over Trina.

Jade was shocked into silence as Trina stomped up to the counter, though the intimidation she
was going for was lessened by the smacking of her flip-flops. Trina jabbed a finger into the
middle of Jade’s chest and asked, “What are you doing here?”

The unwanted contact snapped Jade out of her shock enough to slap the finger away and
shoot back, “Don’t. Touch. Me. And I'm here for a hysterectomy. What does it look like I’m
doing, dumbass?”

Trina folded her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes. “Stalking, obviously.”

Jade rolled hers in annoyance. “Yeah, that’s exactly it. You caught me. I couldn’t bear the
thought of never seeing you again after you graduated. So I followed you to Astoria, rented a
room at a haunted motel-slash-brothel, and got a job at a coffee shop in the hope that you
would come in, see me, and realize our love is eternal.”

“Gank,” Trina said with a huff. “Though, let’s be honest, I don’t blame you. I am totally
stalkable.”

“You have got to be the most self-centered, clueless bit…”

Georgie cleared his throat to get their attention. “I, uh, take it you girls know each other,” he
said with a nervous smile. The last time Jade had been this worked up had been the scissors
incident with the bigot, so she understood his hesitation.

“Unfortunately.”

“God, I wish I didn’t.”

“J-Jade?”

The third voice had caught Jade completely off guard, as she had tunnel vision for her least
favorite Vega and didn’t see anyone else enter the shop. When she tore her gaze from Trina,
Jade’s heart stopped.

“Tori?”
 Chapter 2

Jade was staring. She knew she was staring. For some reason, though, her brain wasn’t
getting the message to the rest of her body that she needed to not stare at Tori as if she were
some science experiment gone wrong.

“J-Jade?” Tori said again, taking a step further into Georgie’s, letting the door swing shut.
“What, um…what are you…doing here?”

“Um,” Jade said, her mouth feeling dry. Why was it so hot in there all of the sudden? Say
something, idiot. “Hi?”

Moron.

Tori tilted her head in confusion. Jade felt her mind working in slow motion to take her in.
Tori was wearing her glasses and a Dodgers cap pulled as low as it could go. Almost as if she
were hiding like some celebrity. The rest of her outfit was out of character for Tori, as well,
with a muted gray, hooded sweatshirt that was at least two sizes too big and baggy, dark
jeans. Jade thought she kind of looked like a storm cloud. The lack of color was jarring,
actually. Even the ballcap was black.

“She’s stalking me,” Trina said, sending what was probably intended to be a withering glare
at Jade. Instead, it looked like she was constipated.

“T-trina,” Tori said with a weary sigh.

The lesser Vega huffed. “She could be.”

“A-are you?” Tori asked, the question directed at Jade. There was no real hint of amusement
behind the words, though. Almost a…resignation?

Jade was still thrown off by the sudden appearance of the Vega sisters, so the answer came
out sounding hesitant. “No?”

The door to Georgie’s opened again, this time revealing a pleased Holly Vega. “Jade! It’s so
good to see you!”

Okay, what the fuck is happening?

If her life had been a cheesy sitcom, this would have been the point where some sound effects
guy played a record scratch, since she realized belatedly her mental outburst was more
verbal.

Everyone in the coffee shop turned to her with varying reactions. A few of the customers and
Jean, an older woman that also worked at Georgie's, looked at her with disapproval, while
Aspen was obviously trying to keep from bursting out laughing. Georgie was giving her a
look that said ‘this is why I have you working in the back.’ As for the Vegas, Holly was
trying (and failing) to look stern, Trina was scowling, and Tori…

Tori was just standing there. Staring blankly.

Holly was the first to react. “Jade, language.”

She just shrugged unapologetically, the shock slowly receding. “Seriously, is there anyone
else I should expect? Mr. Vega? Sikowitz? Cat?”

“It’s just us,” Holly said with a small smile. She turned to Georgie and gave him a hug, which
blew Jade’s mind even more. “I see you’ve met my daughters.”

Georgie beamed. “Just the one formally. She’s absolutely delightful!”

Jade and Tori snorted in derision simultaneously. No matter what their differences had ever
been, they could always be united in mockery of Trina. Jade looked up to catch Tori’s eye
and smirk, but found the other girl was steadfastly looking at the ground. She frowned at the
gesture but was drawn back into the conversation going on before her at the mention of her
name.

“Jade and Tori are friends from Hollywood Arts,” Holly was saying.

Georgie shot her a look. “Jade, you didn’t mention anything about knowing the Vegas.”

“Why would I?” Jade asked. It came out a little harsher than she intended, but, at that
moment, her brain was still not running at full speed. “I didn’t know you knew them. Or they
were even here. Why are you all here?”

Holly frowned. “My parents’ house is down the highway off the beach. Tori? I thought you
told your friends.”

Tori just looked away, staring out the window to the street beyond. Jade narrowed her eyes at
the girl. “She neglected to fill in some details.”

That earned a sigh and a weary glance at Tori, who was still doing her best to ignore
everyone. Holly shook her head and turned her attention back to Georgie. “This is actually
kind of perfect. Can you spare Jade for a while? I need to run to the store for a few things and
Tori’s still getting her strength back up. I was just going to have her wait in the car, but…”

“Oh, it’s no problem at all,” Georgie said with a wave. “Anything for you, Holly.”

Jade bristled a little at having the decision made for her, and also at being volunteered to
babysit Tori. At the same time, after two months of silence, this was a perfect opportunity to
get some answers. She watched Holly go over and whisper something to Tori, who just
nodded briefly and went to an open booth by the front window. Georgie and Holly then
exchanged hugs and promises to catch up soon. Jade just received a parting smile and wave
from Holly, plus a glare and the ‘I’m watching you’ hand gesture from Trina.

Jade shot back with a gesture of her own. She just needed one finger for hers.
Georgie gave her a sly grin as he walked by and said, “I’ll let Dusty know.”

“This is punishment for the scissors thing, isn’t it?”

“Jade!” Georgie said with a shocked gasp, hand over his heart as if he were about to faint. “I
am appalled that you think I would hold onto a grudge like that. Tah!”

He walked off with a wave of his fingers and a cheesy grin. Jade tried to be angry, but only
managed mildly annoyed. The main target of her discontent was currently staring out the
front window, hat still on her head. Jade stomped up to the booth a little harder than was
probably warranted and crossed her arms over her chest as she stared down at Tori.

A thousand questions or scathing comments blasted through Jade’s mind and she couldn’t
decide which to lead with. Why didn’t she tell anyone where she was? Was she all right? Did
Trina’s head get stuck in a ceiling fan as a baby? How did the scar and the glasses make her
hotter? Weren’t they friends now? Didn’t she understand how much the sudden silence hurt?

What came out of her mouth was, “Can you have coffee?”

Tori turned her head slowly, again tilting her head in confusion. “Wh-what? Why?”

Jade threw her hands up in the air. “I don’t know. Some drug you’re taking might have a bad
reaction to caffeine?”

That got a sigh. She sounded so tired to Jade’s ears. “I can h-have…um…cof-coffee.”

Jade nodded stiffly and went behind the counter to start making a couple of cups. Jean
steadfastly ignored her, though Jade did hear a disapproving sniff. Aspen was at her side
almost immediately, a big grin on her face. “Thank you.”

Jade paused and raised an eyebrow. “For?”

“Today was actually pretty boring before whatever the hell that was,” Aspen said. “Which, by
the way, whatever the hell was that?”

“It’s a very long story that I’m not telling you. Ever.”

A wicked smile grew on Aspen’s face, along with a determined glint in her blue eyes that
made Jade a little nervous. “Really. That’s how we’re playing this?”

She just shrugged and went back to making the drinks for herself and Tori. Aspen huffed and
said, “I will get you to spill, Miss West. It won’t be today. It probably won’t be tomorrow,
either. But I’m patient. I know how to play the long game.”

Jade eyed her as she dumped two teaspoons of sugar into her black coffee. “You know you
sounded like some bad supervillain just now, right?”

Aspen rolled her eyes and groaned. “I blame Scott. He’s been binging all those movies lately.
A new one’s coming out next month and he says he needs to ‘have them fresh in his mind.’”
“That sounds…terrible,” Jade said as she finished up the mocha for Tori. “Like the absolute
worst.”

“Yeah,” Aspen said with a sigh. “It’s a good thing he looks so good in Wranglers. And can
sing. And his fingers are so dexterous.”

“And I’m done,” Jade said with a scowl.

“What?” Aspen asked, feigning innocence. “His guitar playing keeps his fingers nimble. So
very nimble.”

Jade rolled her eyes with a disgusted groan and picked up the mugs. Jade noticed Tori was
back to staring out the window, chin propped up on her right hand. It almost looked like she
couldn’t keep her head up on her own. Jade placed the mocha in front of Tori and then slid
into the other side of the booth with her own black coffee.

Tori glanced down at the mug and then up at Jade with a confused look on her face, as if she
didn't understand what it was. Jade just raised her pierced eyebrow and asked, “What?”

“N-nothing,” Tori said after a long moment. She reached for the drink and took a sip, making
an appreciative sound. “This is…um…good?”

Jade gave her a look over her own coffee. “Did you think I was going to do something to it?”

Tori just shrugged in answer, which had Jade narrowing her eyes. “You did . Give me some
credit, Tori. This is where I work. I have a professional reputation to maintain.”

“Don’t listen to her,” Aspen cut in from where she was cleaning up a table nearby. “She
pulled a pair of scissors on some guy last week.”

“Traitor,” Jade muttered. Tori just gave a small grunt of what she assumed was amusement. It
was only the second such show of emotion that Tori had displayed since she came into the
coffee shop. “And he deserved it.”

Aspen made a face. “He really did.”

Jade smirked and turned back to her coffee, finding Tori had kept her head turned toward
Aspen. That allowed her to see the angry, jagged scar that ran from her jaw up to the bridge
of her nose. It was still vividly red, though it definitely looked better since the first time Jade
had seen it. That had been a couple of weeks after the car accident.

The hospital had strict visiting rules, even after Tori had been moved out of ICU, so they had
taken to visiting in shifts to allow her parents to run home and get some sleep or a shower.
Beck would bring Robbie or Cat, while Jade would always come with Andre. Most of the
time, they just sat in silence, maybe working on homework. On the rare occasion she was
awake, Tori barely talked. Andre would really do the talking for all three of them, since Jade
often found herself terrified of saying the wrong thing and breaking Tori even more.

When Tori was discharged, nearly a month after that horrible night, the others would come by
after class to try to keep her company, trying to hang out like nothing had happened. Jade
would always wait until Holly finally chased them out before coming by herself. She knew
what would happen if she was there when the rest were.

Cat would get hyper and start running around, Robbie would break something in his flustered
state, and Andre would attempt to calm things down, but instead get overwhelmed and start
freaking out. Beck would sigh and try to play peacemaker, before Jade would finally blow
her top and scream at them all, thus upsetting Tori even more. So, she decided to remove
herself from the equation.

Jade had found herself enjoying the quiet of it just being her and Tori on the couches in the
living room. Jade would do her homework, Tori staring blankly at the TV, next to no
conversation needed between the two. Tori would even look a little more relaxed when it was
just them.

That last day she came over, though, Jade remembered now that Tori had been antsy. Unable
to wind down and just sit. She didn’t volunteer what was bothering her, nor did Jade push for
an answer. Their friendship was tenuous, still really in its infancy, and she didn’t want to do
anything to break it before it strengthened more. Instead, Jade packed up and called it an
early night. Two days later, Andre called and Tori was gone.

Jade sighed into her coffee and looked up at Tori, again biting back the urge to start
peppering her with questions. Tori looked away from Aspen and caught Jade’s gaze. “What?”
she asked.

“Nothing,” Jade said wearily. Being a better person was tiring. “How are you doing with…?”

She trailed off with a vague hand wave in Tori’s general direction. The only reply received
was a non-committal lift of a shoulder, which didn’t really tell Jade anything, but she let it
drop. Instead, they settled into their routine, even if the location was different. They sat and
drank their coffees, Jade at one point going for a refill, while Tori just watched the road
beyond. Aspen occasionally stopped by and talked to Jade, and Tori would turn her head to
show she was paying attention, but otherwise wouldn’t engage.

After almost an hour, Holly came back in, thankfully sans Trina, and smiled brightly when
she caught Jade’s eyes and made her way over. “Girls. How was everything?”

Jade understood the unspoken question. “Are you okay, Tori?”

Tori sighed and showed she got it, as well. “I’m…f-fine. It was, um...it was Jade.”

What did that mean? Jade thought with a slight frown.

Holly held her hands up with a small smile. “I know, I know. I can’t help but worry, though.”

Tori shook her head and turned back to Jade. She reached out and grabbed Jade’s wrist
lightly. “Th-thanks for the, um, coffee. And for…for not…p-pushing.”

Jade just dumbly nodded, her brain not firing properly at the contact. Tori squeezed her wrist
and turned to leave. Holly watched her exit before turning back to Jade. “She really needed
this. You are a bit of a godsend right now, Jade.”

“Oh,” Jade said dumbly. She could rack her brain for days and not come up with another time
that someone had ever said that about her. “You’re welcome?”

Holly chuckled and squeezed Jade’s shoulder briefly. She tried (and failed) not to recoil from
the touch. “Where are you staying?”

“I’ve got a room at a motel,” Jade said, voice hard and daring the older woman to argue.

Thankfully, Holly backed off without insisting on either more details or that she stay with the
Vega clan. That would have been…a lot right then. “Well, you will at least come by for
dinner.”

“I’ve got plans for after rehearsal tonight,” Jade said. “But I can do most nights. We’re done
by seven usually. Unless Thaddeus gets inspiration. ”

“I’ll have Tori let you know,” Holly said and then left with a wave.

The shop immediately got almost oppressively quiet. Jade hadn’t noticed that the place had
pretty much emptied out, save for an elderly couple at a table in the middle and what looked
like a college student working on a paper. It was only Jean and Aspen up front at the moment,
Georgie probably in his office. Jade shook herself and made her way to the back, pausing
only to shoot a dirty look at Aspen when the older girl gave her a knowing smirk.

She poked her head into Georgie’s office to find him sitting at the desk, order forms spread
out before him. He looked up and smiled, pulling the granny-style reading glasses off his
nose and letting them hang from their chain. “Holly’s daughter gone?”

“Yeah,” Jade said and leaned against the door frame. “Thanks for letting me…y’know.”

Georgie just waved it off. “Holly’s a dear friend from back in school. And with all that poor
girl has been through…well, I suppose I don’t have to tell you.”

Jade nodded her agreement, trying to fight back sudden memories of that night in the ER
waiting room, of nearly losing her mind in worry. “You ready for rehearsal?”

It was an awkward topic change that, to his credit, Georgie went with. “Girlfriend, I was born
ready for the stage. We’ll leave here as soon as I finish ordering these supplies.”

They were out the door not twenty minutes later and on their way to the small, downtown
theater that was home to Arts and Humanities Astoria. A.H.A. did a lot of work to keep the
arts viable in the community, which Jade thought was kind of cool. It’s easy to take for
granted the support theater gets in a place like Los Angeles. The building also had a small
gallery off the lobby that, each month, featured a different local artist.

The theater, itself, had a neat, 1930s aesthetic, with rows of red-cushioned seats rising up
from the stage. According to some literature that Jade had been bored enough to read one
night, the Gloria Reed Theater had been restored a few years back, though some modern
amenities had been added, including a bar in the lobby that served wine and select liquors. It
also had a built-in, roll down screen for showings of movies, which was done on special
weekends that didn’t have a play production going on. A balcony level had a few rows on
either side of the sound and light booth, which had been refitted with somewhat modern
equipment in the remodel, as well.

Gloria Reed had really, really liked A.H.A.’s mission to promote the arts before she kicked
the bucket.

No one else had arrived yet, though that was because Jade wanted to be there early to get
everything organized. It’s not like the actual director would take the time to make sure that
the lights were working, the set pieces were still in one piece, and to unlock the dressing
rooms. Georgie, who also served as the costumer for the production, needed to be there early
to start putting the pieces together, so they started riding together. Jade also knew that was his
subtle way of trying to help her save money on cabs, since both the Bayview and the coffee
shop were on the outskirts of Astoria. Not that she called him out on it. Anything to avoid
having to call her father.

The rest of the cast and crew started filing in after a couple of hours, though the ‘director’
had yet to show. Thaddeus was almost always the last to arrive. Jade was in the soundbooth
going over the board with the audio engineer, Caleb, when the door swung open and a
boisterous greeting rang out.

“Hello, my favorite mentee!”

Jade rolled her eyes and turned to the new arrival. Willa was the female lead of Cyrano de
Bergerac , Roxane, and had decided Jade was to be the little sister she never had. Jade had
initially fought it very vocally. Aspen, who had apparently grown up with Willa, told her it
was better to just roll with it. Once she got an idea in her head, Willa was like a dog with a
bone.

Not that Jade minded too terribly much. Willa was a tad touchy-feely for her taste, but, again,
boundaries had been established early. She took it in stride, to her credit, and ever since had
been respectful of Jade’s personal space. Her fashion sense also was a point in her favor, as
Willa favored worn band shirts and Chucks. She kept her obviously-dyed blonde hair short
and shaved on the sides, letting it sweep over to the right most of the time. If Jade were to
picture what a big sister would look and be like, Willa would come pretty damn close.

“Hey,” Jade said with a put-upon sigh. “Now beat it. I’m trying to make sure Caleb doesn’t
screw up again.”

Caleb pushed his shaggy bangs out of his eyes and said, “Hey! It wasn’t my fault Thaddeus
decided to play with the settings. There isn’t even supposed to be a cow moo on here at all.”

Jade just shot him a look and blindly pushed a button on the pad beside the soundboard, a
rooster’s crow suddenly ringing out in the theater. A few of the people loitering on the stage
jumped and turned their heads toward the booth in confusion. “Go through and reset them.
We’ll work without the effects tonight,” Jade said.
She pushed past Willa and started making her way through the balcony rows to the stairs.
Jade was almost impressed that Willa made it a whole thirty seconds before talking. “I hear
you had an interesting day.”

“Aspen has a really big mouth,” Jade said with a slight growl.

Willa shrugged. “Can you blame her? A piece of the mysterious Jade West puzzle drops in
her lap and you think she’s not going to immediately call me?”

“I’m not a puzzle to solve.”

“We disagree,” Willa said cheerfully. “You magically appear in town, practically take over
the play from Le Directeur , threaten to stab a guy with scissors for calling Georgie a slur,
and then disappear back to your den of iniquity, leaving all of us mere mortals’ heads
spinning in your wake.”

“I don’t have a den of iniquity,” Jade said, putting her best glare on her face.

Willa was unphased, unfortunately. “Jade, it’s a small town. Everyone knows about ‘Windi
with two ‘I’s’ and the Bayview. It’s Astoria’s only den of iniquity. Now, tell me about
Cheekbones.”

Jade stopped in her tracks and turned to face Willa as they reached the lobby. “Cheek.
Bones?”

“Asp didn’t know her name,” Willa said unapologetically. “But, apparently, and I quote, she
has amazing cheekbones and a wicked scar on one of them.”

“Did Aspen also mention that I’m not talking about it?” Jade asked, eyes narrowing
dangerously.

“It might have come up.”

“And you thought you would have a better chance of getting the story out of me.”

Willa grinned. “I am your mentor, after all.”

“You’re really not.”

They had made their way back into the theater by this point and were most of the way to the
stage when Thaddeus Wilkins finally burst in with a rush of almost manic energy. Jade could
see how he and Sikowitz were friends back in college; they were very similar in personality.
Eccentric would be the word Sikowitz would probably claim. Thaddeus had a bit more hair
on top, or at least kept it a little more tamed so the baldness wasn’t as glaring. He was also
very fond of suede suit jackets; Jade hadn’t seen him wear anything else in the week and
some change she had been in Astoria and Thaddeus definitely had several options. He
sported a pointed goatee, with almost a handlebar mustache.

Jade hated handlebar mustaches.

“Oh, joy,” Willa muttered under her breath. “I was kind of hoping he got lost again.”

Jade smirked. “We couldn’t be that lucky twice.”

Thaddeus took center stage and clapped his hands to get everyone’s attention. “Hello, my
fellow thespians! Are we ready for another exciting journey through the Kingdom of
France?”

At the less than stellar response from the gathered cast and crew, he frowned and stomped his
foot petulantly. “Well. Let’s hope you are more enthusiastic about your scenes. Jadelyn!”

“That’s still not my name,” Jade said acidly. She had no idea where he came up with that
ridiculousness, since Lynn wasn't even her middle name. And the moron hadn't taken the
hint, despite multiple warnings. Jade was seriously considering the scissors as the next resort.

“Where is my dry cleaning?”

Sigh. This will look good on my resume. “On the chair in front of you. And I have a message
from Dry Cleaners R Us.”

Thaddeus hopped down from the stage and came up hobbling a little from the drop. “Oh?
Pray tell.”

“You probably don’t want everyone hearing it.”

“Pish. Go ahead. I have no secrets from my stage family.”

Jade shrugged and said, “Don’t ever use them again.”

Thaddeus’ face froze in an ‘oh’ expression. “That’s the third one this year.”

Willa turned away from the stage and whispered, “What was on it?”

“The guy who runs the place wouldn’t tell me,” Jade said softly. “And I’m pretty sure I don’t
want to know.”

Their attention was redirected back to the stage as Thaddeus once again cleared his throat.
“Let’s work on act two, starting from the confrontation between Christian and Cyrano.”

As not everyone was needed for the scene, Georgie redirected a few of the cast back to
costuming, to work on fittings, including Willa. Jade went up to the balcony, where a video
camera was set up to record rehearsal. This was her idea, not Thaddeus’s, as he didn’t seem
to care about notes from their performances after the fact. He was a more ‘in the moment’
kind of director. After the third day of the understanding process, where the instructions were
vague and confusing, Jade borrowed a camera from one of the tech guys and started making
notes afterward. It was well received by just about everyone, to the shock of exactly one
person.

As Kellis, who was playing Cyrano, and the guy playing Christian took their places, Jade
fired up the camera and grabbed a notebook from her messenger bag, making a few on the
spot notes about blocking. The stage hands would need the info when it was time to start
incorporating props, such as tables and whatnot. For now, it was all about getting a handle on
their characters.

Jade was a theater nerd. She knew this from how excited she was for this part of the play
process, watching everything start to come together. She had gotten bit by the directing bug
hard during Well Wishes , even as messed up as that production had ended up being thanks to
Mrs. Lee. Of course, Tori had gone above and beyond to make sure at least opening night
went how she envisioned it.

Jade quickly redirected her thoughts away from there.

Whether it was embarrassment over the dry cleaning incident or not, rehearsal went
somewhat smoothly. It was almost as if Thaddeus wanted to get out as soon as possible,
because he called it a night barely an hour and a half after they started. No one was
complaining, however, as they gathered up their things and filed out of the theater. Jade
grabbed the camera and shoved it into her bag, intending on watching it later in her motel
room.

Willa was waiting by the lobby doors, twirling her keys around her finger. “Ready?”

“Get me out of here,” Jade said as she sped past her and into the cool, Oregon evening.

She made sure the doors were locked before they hopped in Willa’s beat up blue Mustang
that was almost older than Jade was. After a quick stop at a drive-through for food, they were
on their way to Aspen’s boyfriend’s place. Jade just watched the houses as Willa wove her
way into a residential area, content to let her mind space out. It had been a long, emotional
day, after all. She was so zoned out, she didn’t notice when they had parked until she felt a
jab on her shoulder.

“What?” she asked harshly.

Willa just smirked and gestured out the windshield. “We’re here, Spacey.”

“Oh.”

She followed Willa and, probably more importantly, the bag of food up to the front door,
which was opened by an overly enthusiastic Aspen. “You came!”

Jade raised an eyebrow as she entered the house. It was very much ‘college dude chic,’ with
furniture that was worn down and completely mismatched situated around a fairly big flat-
screen television that was probably the nicest thing in the living room. Maybe the whole
house. The carpet was stained in multiple places and there was stuff everywhere. It smelled a
little of stale beer and Chinese take out.

“I said I would,” Jade said, not bothering to hide her annoyance.

Aspen shrugged. “I half expected you to weasel your way out. Especially after Cheekbones.”
Jade made a face that could best be described as ‘displeased.’ “Her name is Tori. And still not
talking about it.”

“Long game, West,” Aspen said with a smile. “Long game. Now, come on. It’s time you were
introduced to real music.”

She led them through the kitchen and into the basement, which was mostly unfinished,
though there was a separate room with a washer and dryer. Efforts had been made to
soundproof the room, however. A large area rug was placed under where the band would sit,
with a couple of couches angled in front of them on either side, with more area rugs under
those. Thick blankets had been hung along the walls.

Aspen made quick introductions of the other band members. Scott, her boyfriend, was a wall
with legs, a long, bushy, ginger beard, and an old straw cowboy hat. He greeted her with a
nod and a ‘ma’am’, which made Willa roll her eyes. Billy, who was ridiculously tall, like
‘NBA player’ tall, saluted as he plucked at his banjo. Nick gave her a nod from where he was
sitting on a stool, a mandolin and a Dobro on either side of him.

“It’s great you guys both got the night off at the same time,” Aspen was saying as Willa and
Jade lowered themselves onto one of the couches and divided up their food.

“Danny wants me more for Thursday through Saturday when we’re busier,” Willa said
around a mouthful of French fries. “Especially Thursday, since that’s karaoke night.
Apparently, I’m his ‘most competent server.’”

“You are,” Scott said as he strummed an acoustic guitar. His voice was low and a little
gravely, which had Jade intrigued as to what he would sound like when he started singing.

“He wouldn’t say that if he knew how often I showed up still hungover,” Willa said.

Scott barked out a laugh. “Oh, he knows. That’s just how bad the others are.”

Aspen leaned closer to Jade from where she was perched on the arm of the couch. “They
work at the same bar. Scott’s a bouncer.”

Jade raised an eyebrow. “Do you follow the three simple rules?”

Scott’s eyes lit up in delight. “Never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected.
Take it outside. Never start anything in the bar unless it’s absolutely necessary. And be nice.”

Willa turned to Jade with a shocked expression. “You know Road House ?”

“Patrick Swayze rips a dude’s throat out bare-handed,” Jade said. “Of course I know Road
House. ”

“I like her,” Scott said, his face breaking out in a wide grin.

Jade leaned back into the couch cushions and crossed her arms over her chest. “My life is
now complete.”
“Well, now that we’ve established that Jade is great and she’s completely thrilled to be here,”
Aspen said as she stood from the couch. “How about we actually play some music?”

Billy nodded enthusiastically. Jade decided he was a little socially awkward, reminding her of
a much, much, much taller Robbie. “Want to warm up with ‘Man of Constant Sorrow?’ We
don’t need Meghan and her bass for that one.”

What followed was a solid hour of an eye-opening experience for Jade. She only knew the
country music that was played on the radio. And she hated it. She just assumed it was all like
that, and that bluegrass music was just an even more hick version of that crap. But what
Aspen and the guys, whom she learned called themselves Saddle Mountain, played was
nothing like what she thought of with the phrase ‘bluegrass.’ Sure, it was twangy, but some of
the lyrics were down right dark. The harmonies from the band reached out and snagged
something in her soul that drew her in.

Jade's revelation must have been obvious from the look on her face. Willa bumped their
shoulders together and gave her a grin.

“Admit it, you love this.”

She wanted to be cool and nonchalant, but Jade found herself nodding enthusiastically. Aspen
laughed and perched herself again on the arm of the couch, her fiddle still in hand. “You want
to do a song?”

“I don’t know any of what you play,” Jade said in protest.

“So do something you know,” Aspen said simply. “Can you play guitar?”

When Jade answered affirmatively, she turned to Scott and asked, “Hey, baby, can Jade
borrow your guitar?”

He shrugged and handed it over, then went over to a fridge that was tucked in the corner and
pulled out a beer, handing one to Willa, as well. Jade settled the instrument on her knees and
strummed it a bit, getting a feel for it. She tried to remember the last time she actually played,
coming up with maybe before Christmas for a class she was in. Just because Hollywood Arts
required students to know how to play an instrument didn’t mean you regularly used it if your
focus was acting and not music.

Her fingers started finding the right chords quickly enough, however, for “Yesterday” by The
Beatles. It was the first song she had learned when her father had actually cared enough to
pay for guitar lessons when she was ten. Jade tried not to dwell on how quickly that had
changed as she started singing, losing herself in the music.

The final chord rang out in the basement to silence from the others. She opened her eyes to
find them all staring at her in disbelief. “Holy shit,” Willa said with a laugh. “I know you said
you could sing, but…holy shit.”

“We are totally teaching her a song,” Nick said from his stool. “I don’t care if we don’t even
perform it anywhere but down here, Jade is singing with us.”
“No arguments,” Scott said. Billy and Aspen both echoed their agreements.

Jade rolled her eyes. “Fine. But only because I’m bored and I don’t have Wi-Fi in my room.”

As the others conferred on what songs they wanted her to learn, with Willa offering
completely unhelpful suggestions, Jade leaned back into the couch again. As she let the
conversation wash over her, she realized that she had gone two whole hours without thinking
about Tori.

It might have been a new post-accident record.

 Chapter 3
Chapter Notes

Hey. Thanks for reading this. I appreciate it. Really.

Can y'all do me a favor? I'm editing this myself, and have been staring at some of these
chapters for the better part of a year. If you notice typos, let me know. After a while, it
all looks right, even if it's gibbialdanlgiacalic.

Thanks.

Tori came back to the coffee shop the next day. In fact, it became something of a routine over
the next few days that Tori would be dropped off by Holly or Trina around the time of Jade’s
lunch break, for which she got thirty minutes. It didn’t matter if Jade was opening or started
work mid-morning; when she came up front, Tori was sitting in what became ‘her’ booth.

After months of nothing, it was almost overwhelming to suddenly have Tori around all the
time. Jade’s emotions were a little scattered while they sat there the first couple of days in
complete silence, save for the occasional interruption from Aspen or Georgie. The most
obvious emotion was happiness that Tori was visibly doing better, even if there were small
signs of physical discomfort. She limped slightly on her right leg, where everything had
apparently been torn in her knee. Every once in a while she would turn in the booth and hiss,
showing her broken ribs weren’t quite healed.

Sadness was also prominent as Jade took her in during their coffee dates. This wasn’t the Tori
that Jade knew. Tori was bright; even when she was down, it didn’t last long before her
natural sunshine came through. And, Christ, did Jade try a lot in the beginning of Tori’s time
at Hollywood Arts to bring her down. Jade’s first impression of this Tori as a storm cloud was
not quite right. She was more a gray, rainy day. She had no spark of life. Even her wardrobe
was lifeless, mainly consisting of dark grays or blacks. Jade didn’t know Tori owned that
much black clothing; though it was all so ill-fitting that she also wondered whose clothes she
was wearing, exactly.

Jade also had to admit to feeling hurt. Their friendship, the one that Tori had seemed to want
so badly almost since day one at Hollywood Arts, had been getting on sturdier ground ever
since the breakup with Beck. She wouldn’t be caught dead saying it where anyone else could
hear, but Tori had become probably her closest friend outside of Beck. And that was tainted
because of their failed relationship. For Tori to just abandon them all (but especially Jade)
with no word…it hurt. Badly. Not that Jade was saying that to Tori, of course. She had some
common sense.
Sure, there was also Cat, but her emotional maturity had stunted in the sixth grade and Jade
didn’t really count what they had as a true friendship. Not at least until after Tori’s accident
and Jade needed someone who wasn’t her ex-boyfriend to hang out with. Andre and Robbie
were out for various reasons (mostly puppet-related on Robbie’s end). So, from a sheer lack
of options, Jade found herself more and more with Cat. It wasn’t the worst thing in the world,
but it reminded Jade uncomfortably of middle school, when they had more of a relationship
than they had fallen into in high school. She did her best to shove any thoughts of that time of
her life (pre-Beck, anyway) to the back of her mind, locked away tightly.

Willa stopped by on the fourth day and immediately zeroed in on them. Jade glared at her as
she slid (uninvited) into the booth on Jade’s side and Tori gave her a slight frown, but
otherwise said nothing.

“What do you want?” Jade bit out.

“Hello to you, as well, my mentee,” Willa said with a chipperness that was grating.

“You’re not my mentor.”

Willa rolled her eyes with a fond smile and turned her attention to Tori. “She denies it to save
face, but she’s come so far under my tutelage. When we first met, all those weeks ago…”

“I’ve known you for a week,” Jade interrupted.

“She was lost,” Willa continued to Tori without pause. “Rudderless. I’ve shown her what it
means to be part of the world. To find joy in the little things. To seize life by the udder and
squeeze all the milk you can out of it.”

Tori blinked at Willa in confusion and then turned to Jade. “Who…um…w-who…is this?”

Jade sighed and gestured at the older woman. “Tori, Willa. There, you’ve met. Now go annoy
someone else. Preferably Aspen, since I’m guessing that’s how you knew we would be here.”

“She’s got one of her violin students,” Willa said with a put-upon sigh. “I’m no longer
welcome when she’s teaching. Apparently, I’m a distraction.”

“No,” Jade said deadpan. “You? A distraction? Wherever does she get that idea?”

“Right? I don’t know what her problem is. I’m delightful.”

“H-how…do you, um…uh…kn-know each other?” Tori asked, face scrunched up in

concentration. Jade felt a pang at the question. More like at the effort the question had taken
to get out. Her speech difficulties were just another layer of the damage done that fucking
night. At least, Jade assumed so, since she was not, under any circumstance, bringing it up
first.

Willa didn't seem to notice Tori's struggles. “I’m in the play. Roxane.”

Tori looked at Jade, something close to a frown on her face. “Play?”

“ Cyrano de Bergerac ,” Jade said. “That's why I’m in Astoria. Sikowitz set me up with an
internship with some old college buddy of his. I’m his assistant director.”

Willa scoffed. “Assistant. Don’t act like you didn’t take over on day one.”

“That s-sounds…um…sounds…right,” Tori said. Jade wasn’t sure, but she thought she saw
the slightest hint of a smile pull at her lips.

“I don’t think I like what you’re insinuating, Tori,” Jade said, eyes narrowed dangerously.

It was an act, mostly. Tori apparently recognized that, because she said, “B-bossy.”

“Oh,” Jade said with a hard glare. Tori just gave an bland look and sipped her coffee.

“She’s not wrong,” Willa chimed in happily.

“I’ve got to get back to work,” Jade said after a long pause. She nudged Willa possibly harder
than she needed to in order to get her to move and slid out.

Tori reached out and grasped her wrist before she could walk away. “Mom, um, wants you…
uh…uh…f-for dinner. Soon.”

“Oh, okay,” Jade said, blinking. She had assumed Holly was just being polite when she made
that comment and hadn’t really considered actually going. “I’ve kind of promised Aspen and
her band I would learn a few songs with them. I think I’m free Sunday?”

“I’ll let her, um…know,” Tori said. “Thanks for…th-the coffee.”

Sunday spaghetti and meatballs at Tori’s grandparents’ beach house turned into Monday
Mediterranean, which turned into Tuesday tacos. Apparently, the Vegas did theme food days
on the regular. It was a Tori favorite pre-accident, so Holly was trying to keep it going to help
her engage. Or something. It sounded very therapist-esque and by default Jade tuned it out.

She took Wednesday off from Tori’s family, partly to give her wallet a break. She hadn’t
realized how much of a daily commitment Tori was making to get to the coffee shop. The
beach house was ‘just down the highway,’ as Holly had said. Ten miles down the highway.
Three straight days of taxis to get out to Sunset Beach added up quickly. Instead, she spent
the evening with Saddle Mountain.

Thursday, though, she was back at Tori’s, since the band wasn’t practicing. After a meal of
Chinese take-out (apparently, it was Take-Out Thursday), Jade and Tori had taken up
residence on the couch in the upstairs living room, Tori curled up under a knitted blanket.
Trina had disappeared to her basement room after making her displeasure over Jade's
frequent presence well known. Holly, meanwhile, was sitting out on their back deck with a
glass of wine, leaving Jade and Tori alone.

Vaguely, Jade was aware that she was staring again. At some point, Tori had gotten warm and
removed the green stocking cap that she had taken to wearing instead of the ball cap from the
first time she appeared at Georgie’s. It was really the first time Jade had seen Tori without
some sort of covering on her head since the hospital.
Her formerly long, brown waves were completely shorn off, nothing more than stubble, and
barely that. Jade’s eyes immediately went to the puckered scar on her scalp above her right
eye, which she had to admit looked better than she imagined it would when she heard a piece
of glass had embedded itself in Tori’s head during the accident.

She had never actually seen the wound, as it had been bandaged in the hospital and Tori had
kept it covered even after being released. In her mind, Jade had pictured a large, jagged piece
of window sticking out of the forehead like a knife, blood spurting everywhere. The reality
was that the chunk of glass had been no bigger than a dime and hadn’t even pierced the skull
that deeply. It still had left a scar, but in another month Jade figured it wouldn’t even be
noticeable as her hair regrew.

“I th-thought, um, you…you hated, um, haircuts.”

They had been silent for so long that Jade had zoned out a little staring at her lack of hair. At
Tori’s words, Jade was startled out of her mindlessness and blinked at the other girl. “What?”

“Your hair,” Tori said. “You…uh…c-cut it.”

Jade frowned and fingered said locks, which, yes, she had trimmed to shoulder length and
thinned out considerably back in April. She had also changed up the streaks to purple, though
she kept the coloring her natural dark brown. Tori’s comment, though, was still confusing,
and she mentally started running through her old Slap videos to see if she had mentioned
haircuts.

Her confusion must have shown on her face, because Tori prompted, “Slap. October.”

Jade gaped at Tori in disbelief. She barely remembered her posts from last week, much less
months ago. Shaking off her shock, she shrugged and said, “I got sick of how heavy it was.
Plus it took forever to dry. I hate waiting.”

Tori hummed in acknowledgement and rested her head on her arm, which was on the back of
the couch. “Looks…good.”

“Thanks?”

“Welcome,” Tori said, toying with a loose thread on the blanket. “Never, uh…never…l-liked
the…black. Your, um, hair…uh…w-when I…”

Tori let out a frustrated huff and turned her head to stare out the French doors leading to the
back deck. Jade panicked a little, not knowing exactly what was going on. She was halfway
out of her seat to go get Holly when Tori, voice thick with exhaustion, said, “Hate this.”

A tiny voice in her head that sounded something like Beck told Jade she should say
something comforting. Unfortunately, Jade defaulted to her normal reaction to most anything:
being a gank. “You do sound like an idiot.”

Tori didn't say anything in response, instead staring at Jade with a dumbfounded look that
was probably mirrored by her own.
What the absolute fuck, West?

The air in the living room had grown thick with awkward tension, to the point Jade would
have welcomed Trina barging in with a ridiculous request or demand for attention. She knew
she should apologize, but there was this block between her thoughts and her mouth. Instead,
Jade tried to convey her sorrow for being herself through a grimace that she hoped Tori
understood.

Thankfully, the shattering glass of her text notifications broke the silence.

Worst Director Ever (7:15 p.m.)

Mrgncy cm up. Rhrsl cnclld 4 rst of wk. C u Mon.

"Thank the zombie Jesus," Jade said with a harsh exhale.

Tori cocked her head in question, unspoken apology apparently accepted. Instead of
answering, Jade just passed the phone to her. After reading the text thread for a solid minute,
Tori said, “Texts like, um…like…R-robbie, uh, before…"

Jade rolled her eyes as she got the reference. "Before I yelled at him last year? He does and
it's driving me insane. If I didn't need this internship for college applications, I would have
found the nearest abandoned stretch of road and pushed him out of a car."

Before Tori could respond, another text came in. She looked at the phone in her hand and
said, “Willa. Says thank, uh, fuh-fucking God.”

Jade decided not to mention how weird it was to hear Tori actually use the f-bomb, even
though she was dying to tease her about it. Jade was trying to be better, insulting comments
about speech impediments notwithstanding. “She’s just happy because now she gets to go get
drunk all weekend.”

“What…um…what uh-about…you?”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you," Tori said, sounding somewhat exasperated.

Jade blinked. What was she going to do with only one shift at Georgie’s and no play to
distract her. “I don’t actually know.”

Tori handed the phone back and apologetically said, “We’re, uh, gone. Back to…LA."

"Oh, yeah," Jade said. She had forgotten that Holly had mentioned something about the trip
earlier in the week and immediately felt both jealous and sad. "Your check up."

"A-and Dad.”

“Why isn’t he here with you guys?” Jade asked. She realized belatedly that she needed to
stop asking questions that required Tori to talk more. It just seemed mean.
“No, uh, vacation. Burned it…um…while I was…um…w-while…y'know,” Tori trailed off at
the end. “Maybe the f-f-fourth.”

“So, you are coming back,” Jade said, wincing a little at how bitchy that sounded. Why? Why
can’t I just be nice?

“Of course,” Tori said with a frown. “Why…um…wouldn’t I?”

What she really wanted to say nearly came out before Jade caught herself and swallowed it.
Instead, she huffed a little in frustration. “Nevermind.”

“Jade…” Tori began. She let out a long breath and Jade half hoped she would drop it, but
then Tori said, “Just…say it. Please?”

It was the ‘please’ that broke her. It was small and pitiful and felt nothing like Tori and it
pissed her off. “YOU LEFT! You left me without even a goodbye, Tori. What the hell?”

Tori looked away, but Jade didn’t miss the unshed tears glistening in her eyes and it only
fueled her rage. “I…just needed…”

“Oh, I know,” Jade spat out. The part of her that had been trying for the last few months to be
better was screaming at her to stop, but Angry Jade was at the wheel and wasn’t letting go. “I
read the vague bullshit you had Andre tell us. You could’ve at least put it in the group text.
You know, the one with the friends that have been worried fucking sick about you for
months? And maybe let us know you weren’t fucking dead.”

The tears were definitely falling now. “J-Jade, I-I’m…”

She wasn’t really listening, though, and kept talking over Tori. Months of built up anxiety
was pouring out like someone had taken an ax to the side of a rain barrel. “Like, I get that we
are probably the worst group of people to be around with what you went through, but fucking
hell, Tori! I thought we were…that you and I were…are…”

Jade trailed off with a frustrated scream and she pushed herself up off the couch, pacing the
living room to burn off her anger. She at least had plenty of space to do so. The TV room was
downstairs, so really, it was just the couches that faced the french doors and led to the deck, a
pair of matching chairs facing the couch, a coffee table and an old, upright piano against the
far wall. The kitchen was to the right, up a small step, with an attached dining room.

Holly had come rushing in at some point and Jade was vaguely aware of a sobbing Tori
saying something to her mom, who gave Jade a level look before returning back outside. Jade
barely paid any attention, as she was struggling to get herself back under control. Tori seemed
content to let her pace without comment, which Jade was thankful for. She already felt bad
enough and didn’t want to make it worse by snapping at her again.

“I’m sorry,” she said tiredly, dropping down onto one of the chairs after all her anger finally
burned itself out. “I didn’t mean to…”
“It’s o-okay,” Tori interrupted. Jade noticed the tears were still there, but weren't falling
anymore.

She shot Tori an incredulous look and received a small shrug in response. “It, um, was as
close to…um, n-normal…as anyone, um, has treated me…since…since…y'know.”

“You have a fucked up concept of normal,” Jade muttered.

“No k-kidding,” Tori said, sounding just as tired as Jade felt. “Everyone acts, um, like I'm...b-
broken.”

Jade started to point out that she kind of was, but Tori cut her off. “I get it. I’m…not okay.
But I just…I want to feel…like, um, me again, y’know?”

She didn’t, not really. Jade had no point of reference for actually dying, not to mention
whatever Tori had been going through in the months since she left LA. It made Jade feel even
worse for the outburst as she watched Tori shrug off the blanket and lean forward until she
held her face in her hands, elbows on her knees, glasses askew, and not fighting the tears
anymore.

Jade felt like she should comfort the girl somehow, but she wasn’t sure exactly what to do.
She settled on moving to the couch next to Tori, but not too close. Just enough to awkwardly
pat her back. Tori’s back hitched at the contact, though Jade wasn’t sure if it was from the
crying or laughing at her pitiful attempt at being consoling.

“It wasn’t…um…it wasn't you.”

Jade wasn’t sure she heard correctly, as muffled as Tori’s words were. “What?”

Tori let out a shaky breath and leaned back, decidedly not looking at Jade, instead keeping
her gaze on the ceiling. “Why I left. You weren’t…it wasn’t, um, you."

Jade really didn't know how to respond to that, so she settled on, "Oh."

"I just needed…” Tori trailed off and shook her head. “Too much.”

“Sure. Cat alone…” Jade said, trying (weakly, even she recognized that) to make a joke.

Tori shook her head emphatically. “Not any of, um, you. Uh…everything…was too much. F-
freaked out at a, um, blender. Just thinking about…the 405, um...is terrifying.”

“It’s that bad?” Jade asked, feeling a little horrified. Being afraid to go anywhere, to do
anything, because you could get set off? That sounded worse than being stuck in a Yerbanian
prison.

“Getting better,” Tori said with a waggle of her hand. “Needed…sleeping pills…to get here.
Can, um, can barely handle…um…the ride to, uh, uh, Astoria. Already hate, um, tomorrow.”

“Cramming into a giant, pressurized, metal tube with dozens of grumpy people packed in as
tight as possible, and traveling thousands of feet in the air?” Jade asked. She realized her
mouth was moving without input from her brain, but it was too late to stop. “Maybe I can get
a ticket. It may be worth it to see you freak out.”

Tori lifted her head and Jade saw her eyes watering again a little, leaving her feeling like dirt.
“Okay, we’re definitely not ready for full normal, yet.”

“Nope,” Tori said, wiping at a stray tear that was trailing down her cheek. “Maybe, uh, the
movie…um…movie star voice?”

Jade shook her head. “We’re going to work our way up to Sweet Sally Peaches.”

That at least got a tiny, watery chuckle, which made Jade’s insides light up in warmth. The
deck doors opened, drawing Jade’s attention, though Tori was back to staring at the ceiling.
Holly entered, eyes sliding between the two girls for a moment before she asked, “Everything
okay?”

“Y-yeah,” Tori answered. “Heart to...heart.”

Holly shot a level look at Jade. “That didn’t sound like a heart to heart.”

“We’re fine,” Jade said and started awkwardly rubbing the back of her neck while trying to
avoid Holly’s glare. “We’re all fine here, now. Thank you. How’re you?”

Seriously, how do you function in society, West?

Holly rolled her eyes and walked behind the couch to place a kiss on Tori’s forehead. “You
need to get some rest. We’ve got to be up early to catch the flight.”

Tori gave a small mock cheer. “Yay.”

Jade chuckled as she stood and pulled out her phone to order a cab. “I should get going,
anyway. Georgie has me opening. And, by opening, I mean hiding me in the back away from
people.”

“See you, uh…Tuesday?” Tori asked, though the look in her eyes told Jade she meant
something else.

“Yeah, I’m not going anywhere,” she said in answer to both questions. Tori nodded and
trudged up the stairs to the bedrooms, giving her a small wave as she did.

Jade made her way to the front door, as her ride was a few minutes out. Holly followed her
onto the porch and said, “I don’t need to tell you that she’s still fragile.”

“I know, I know,” Jade said. She folded her arms across her stomach and closed her eyes.
“Tori just…found the right button to push. I feel like shi…er…crap. I knew what was
coming, but I couldn't stop it.”

Holly hummed in response. “You seemed to pull yourself back quickly.”

“She was crying,” Jade said simply. And she realized it was as simple as that. Just a few
months ago, Jade told Tori that she liked it when the other girl was sad, but that wasn’t
necessarily the case anymore. She wasn’t sure when the shift happened, either.

Her statement drew a raised eyebrow, but no further comment. Jade figured Holly understood
where she was coming from, probably more so. Tori’s family had no doubt seen much, much
worse than any of the rest of them.

“Don’t beat yourself up too much, Jade,” Holly said after a quiet couple of moments. “Tori
has a lot of landmines around her. You never really know when you’re going to step on one.”

“She told me she broke down because of a blender.”

That got a small, humorless laugh. “God. That wasn't long before we came here. David felt so
horrible for days.”

Silence fell over them again and Jade checked her phone. She realized she never did answer
Willa’s text from earlier and typed out the response she had given Tori. As the headlights of
the cab came into sight, Holly squeezed Jade’s shoulder and said, “I could have had Trina
drive you home.”

“I would rather swim in acid,” Jade said without a moment’s hesitation.

Holly smiled and shook her head. The cab pulled into the driveway and, as Jade started to
make her way to it, Holly called out, “Jade, you have been good for her. I can already see the
difference. Just…try to remember patience.”

Jade nodded and offered up a pained smile as she slid into the backseat of the cab. They both
were aware that, no matter how much she was trying to change, Jade could still be as gentle
as a rampaging elephant and the landscape around Tori was still very explosive.
 Chapter 4

Friday brought not only the change of Georgie letting Jade work up front, it also gave her the
gift of a severely hungover Aspen.

“You look terrible,” Jade said gleefully as soon as the older girl stumbled into the coffee shop
a few minutes before opening. Her golden brown hair, usually pulled into a tight ponytail,
framed her face limply. Her clothes, a University of Washington hoodie and some baggy
jeans, were wrinkled, as if she pulled them out of the hamper. Dark circles ringed her eyes,
which were somewhat squeezed shut at the assault from the lights.

“I feel terrible.” Even her voice was scratchy, as if she had spent the night screaming. “Scott
and Willa wanted to play shot pong after they got off last night. Willa is convinced I’m her
good luck charm, so I got dragged in.”

“And you weren’t.”

“And I wasn’t.”

Jade grinned and waited until Aspen was leaning on the counter, head pillowed in her arms,
before loading up the grinder with beans and turning it on. Aspen’s jump and sudden clasping
of her hands over her ears was more than enough to keep Jade in a good mood through at
least mid-morning.

She could potentially milk this into the afternoon.

Aspen leaned back on the counter and groaned. “Never again.”

Georgie chose that moment to sweep through the double doors to the back. He took one look
at Aspen and an evil grin spread on his face. “Jade, honey, I’m feeling a little hungry. Would
you mind running over to the diner down the road and getting me some eggs.”

“Sure!” Jade said more perkily than she probably ever had, even when she was playing Tori’s
always happy Alabama farmgirl. “You want them runny?”

“Oh, absolutely,” Georgie said. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Aspen’s face visibly get
a green tinge to it. “I want them so slimy, they may as well not be cooked. And make sure
they pour a bunch of hot sauce on it.”

“I know what you two are trying to do,” Aspen said with a weak glare. “I’ll have you know I
have a cast iron stomach. This won’t work.”

Jade raised her pierced brow and leaned in closely. She started whispering, “Cat food that’s
gone bad, maggots writhing on the top, the rancid smell oozing up like a toxic cloud. A
raspberry jelly donut, the innards squirting out like it was bleeding when you bite into it.
Pepperoni pizza, so greasy the napkin underneath is drenched…”
“Excuse me.” Aspen bolted to the back with a hand over her mouth. Jade gave a happy
bounce before turning to the front counter and greeting the first customer of the day. The rest
of the morning passed in similar fashion, with both Jade and Georgie taking turns trying to
get Aspen to break again. To their continued disappointment, she only threw up the once.
Jade considered going to her collection of short films she’d made, but decided to hold off on
that. She needed to pace herself; there was the whole summer to consider, after all.

The entrance bell chimed mid-morning, when her break normally was, and Jade
automatically looked up and felt a wave of disappointment wash over her that it was just
Willa. She frowned at that but didn’t have time to dwell before she was confronted by a
decidedly not-hungover lead actress. “Hello, my mentee!”

Jade rolled her eyes. “You’re not my mentor.”

“Yeah, I am,” Willa said with a smirk. “You’ve come so far from the wilting flower that I
took under my wing all those months ago.”

“It’s been three weeks. And I believe my first words to you were, ‘Don’t touch me.’”

Willa scrunched her face up in feigned deep thought. “I remember it differently.”

“Of course you do,” Jade said, fighting a smile. Instead, she jerked her thumb at Aspen, who
was still looking very worse for wear as she sluggishly made an Americano. “You broke her,
you get to fix her.”

“Seriously, Asp,” Willa said with an exasperated huff. “We didn’t drink that much.”

“We didn’t drink that much for you ,” Aspen grumbled as she placed the drink on the counter.
She shot Jade a pleading look, who rolled her eyes and called out the name of the customer.
Aspen mumbled a ‘thank you’ and went to work on Willa’s chai latte without even bothering
to ask what she wanted.

Jade moved out from behind the counter to clean off a couple of tables with Willa following
behind like an excitable puppy. “Did she tell you?”

“Tell me what?” Jade said as she placed the used coffee mugs and plates into the dish carrier.

“Asp!” Willa said loudly, drawing a few displeased looks from the customers in the shop.

“I’ve been busy not dying,” Aspen said, irritation plain in her voice. “You tell her. It was your
idea, anyway.”

Willa scowled, though the bright smile returned almost immediately. “It was our idea that,
since you and I are suddenly free from a certain play this weekend, you’re going to join the
band and me camping.”

Jade raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “Camping?”

“Yep,” came the happy reply.

“I don’t camp.”

“You do now.”

"I really don't."

"You really do."

“I don’t have any camping stuff.”

“I do,” Willa said. “Got a tent and a couple of sleeping bags.”

Jade sighed, knowing she was losing, but still tried, “I have to work tomorrow.”

Georgie picked that moment to come back up front and Willa’s face broke out into an evil
grin. “Can we steal Jade this weekend, Georgie?”

He looked from Willa to Aspen, who was decidedly trying to stay out of the conversation.
Finally, he shrugged and said, “Yeah, sure. I was going to have her in the back with Dusty
tomorrow, anyway.”

“Oh, come on,” Jade exclaimed. “Do I get any say in this?”

Willa lightly punched her shoulder, drawing a sharp glare. “Nope.”

“Fine,” she said, throwing her arms up in frustration. “But I’m only going because I want out
of this conversation.”

“Noted,” Willa said. “Pick you up bright and early at eight.”

The next morning found Jade outside her cottage with a duffel bag for the weekend. She had
decided to skip make-up, since it seemed pointless, and only packed her flannel shirts, a
couple of T-shirts, a pair of warm sweats, and jeans. The number on her door swung loose
and fell to the ground as she slammed it shut. That probably wasn’t a great omen for the
weekend.

Jade picked it up with a sigh and turned to take the number to the front office, finding herself
face to face with a woman who plainly was ‘working,’ judging by the short, tight skirt and
skimpy tank top. Oddly, despite sharing the duplex for the better part of the last month, this
was the first time Jade had actually laid eyes on Windi. She was probably in her early thirties,
though her pale blue eyes and overly tanned skin made her look far older. The hair was dyed
red, though not red velvet like Cat’s. This was more ‘fire engine’ red. Her lips, painted pink,
quirked a little at seeing Jade.

“Howdy, neighbor,” Windi said. Her voice was raspy, definitely damaged by smoking. What
she smoked, Jade didn’t venture to guess. “Finally checking out?”

What was with literally everyone trying to make her leave the Bayview? “Just away for the
weekend. Camping.”
“Not a fan?” Windi asked, leaning against her door.

“Not really,” Jade said with a shrug. “Closest I’ve ever come was the RV my ex lives in.”

“He lives in an RV?”

“On his parent’s property,” Jade said.

Windi made a noise in her throat that may have been amusement. Or emphysema. “So, his
parents let their teenager not only live in an RV, but have his girlfriend stay the night, also?”

“We’re both seventeen,” Jade said, not pointing out that the sleepovers started when she was
fifteen. She also felt this conversation was getting entirely too judgmental, considering the
other party’s occupation. “And so, what?”

“Nothing,” Windi said, digging into her purse for a pack of cigarettes. She mumbled
something that sounded like, “California people.”

Jade rolled her eyes. “Okay, I’m leaving. Have…um…good sex.”

“Not likely, but thank you,” Windi said with a laugh. “Enjoy the wilderness.”

“Not likely,” Jade echoed. She scooped up her bag and went to the front office. The clerk, an
older man with only wisps of white hair on the top of his head, barely looked up from the TV
to acknowledge her when she placed the room number on the counter. Jade doubted it would
get put back up on her door anytime soon.

Willa was waiting when she came back outside, the excitement rolling off her. She grabbed
Jade’s bag from her and threw it in the backseat on top of a long one containing the tent,
which apparently was too awkward to fit in the trunk. The sleeping bags and a chest filled
with wine coolers were currently back there. Scott and Aspen were in charge of the food,
while Nick and Billy were bringing more alcohol. Their girlfriends, whom Jade had met a
few times at Saddle Mountain practices, were also coming.

After a much needed coffee stop at Georgie’s, since it was literally right there, Willa pointed
her Mustang south and they made their way along the coast, at one point passing the dark
Vega beach house. Jade realized she hadn’t heard from Tori since they had left and she felt a
surge of concern. Hopefully, Tori hadn’t freaked out as badly as she feared she would. She
debated texting, though Jade wasn’t sure if she should bother. Tori hadn’t exactly been
answering any of them since she ran off. But they were in a better place now, she felt like,
after their ‘heart-to-shared freak out’ the other night.

Jade opened up the barely-used message thread with just the two of them and fired off a
quick text before she talked herself out of it. The response came within moments, to Jade’s
surprise.

Vega (The Tolerable One)(8:30 a.m.)

Flight sucked. Ride home was worse. I was right about being on the 405.
(8:30 a.m.)

Lame. You ok?

Vega (The Tolerable One) (8:31 a.m.)

Eh. Dr adjusted my dosage. Kind of out of it. What r u up 2?

(8:31 a.m.)

Finding out if bears want to eat me.

Vega (The Tolerable One)(8:33 a.m.)

What?

(8:33 a.m.)

Willa and Aspen are making me go camping.

Vega (The Tolerable One)(8:34 a.m.)

You don't camp.

(8:34 a.m.)

And yet.

There was a bit of a delay before Tori shot back, Pills have me zonked out. Please don't get
eaten by a bear.

(8:40 a.m.)

Miss me if Yogi gets his filthy paws on me?

Vega (The Tolerable One)(8:40 a.m.)

Yes.

Jade blanched in surprise at the speed in which the answer came. That was emphatic as a text
message got. Willa must have noticed the stunned look on her face, because she asked,
“What's up?”

“Texting Tori,” Jade said. Even she could hear the shock in her voice. Broken glass signaled
another text.

Vega (The Tolerable One)(8:42 a.m.)

Passing out soon. Try 2 have a gr8 time. No bears! See u Tuesday.
Jade forced her fingers to work and responded, No promises. See you Tuesday.

“Cheekbones all right?”

Jade gave her a look. “ Tori is back in LA for the weekend.”

“And that caused you to look like you saw a ghost because?”

“It's nothing,” Jade said. In an effort to change the subject, she asked, “Where are we going,
anyway?”

“Tillamook National Forest,” Willa said with a look that told Jade she was aware of the
forced topic change. “Nehalem Falls, specifically. We’ve done this for a few years now. Get
away from all the shit in our lives for a few days, turn off the phones, and just be, man.”

“Hippie.”

“This weekend? Absolutely. We’re not savages, though. There are restrooms. We did the
public, no amenities thing the first year. Never again.”

They lapsed into a comfortable silence shortly after, each sipping their coffees. About twenty
minutes in, though, “Free Bird” started playing on the radio and Willa cranked up the
volume. That drew an annoyed glare from Jade, though she found herself singing along and
then doing air guitar to the solo. After that, the trip turned into radio karaoke for another half
hour or so.

The singing died down after a slower song started playing. Neither spoke for a few minutes,
Jade content in the quiet and glad that Willa was apparently someone who didn’t need to talk
at all times. It was…nice. Cat definitely couldn’t stand the silence. Beck even wasn’t really
comfortable with it, feeling the need to talk when they cuddled. The current version of Tori
liked the quiet, but Jade was certain that was because Tori was embarrassed about her speech
impairment.

“I am glad you joined us,” Willa said after about ten minutes.

Jade nodded but asked the question that had been rattling in her brain since the previous day.
“Why did you and Aspen want me to come so badly, anyway?”

“Well, for starters, you’re not terrible company,” Willa said with a small grin.

“Wow. Such high praise.”

“Seriously, Jade,” Willa said. “You’re kind of a blast when you stop being so grouchy.”

Jade shot her a glare. “I just happen to have a low moron tolerance.”

“You don't fool me or Asp," Willa said with a grin. "You’re like a cactus. All prickly on the
outside but soft and squishy on the inside.”

“You do know cactuses can be poisonous, right?”

Willa just laughed. “The other reason is that, for as terrible as we are at being adults, even we
recognize that leaving a teenage girl alone all weekend in a den of iniquity isn’t good.”

Jade stared at her for a moment before smirking. “It was Georgie’s idea, wasn’t it?”

“Maybe,” Willa said, drawing out the word comically long. “We would have thought of it.
Eventually.”

After a brief stop off in a small town for a few forgotten supplies that Aspen asked they get,
since the band had come up the night before, they were pulling into the campground. Jade
had been in a forest before, but it had been years and, even then, she vaguely remembered
just driving through it with her parents. They didn’t stop.

She took in the tall trees surrounding the road, thicker than any woods that may be found in
or around Los Angeles. Definitely a lot more green than LA. Campsites dotted the road here
and there, some filled with tents, a few with campers. A parking lot for a trail was visible on
the right, with a few people already taking advantage of what was a nice, sunny day. Willa
kept going past the trailhead toward a larger campground that Jade could see up on the left.

A pair of trucks were parked in the clearing, with three tents already set up. Jade could see
Nick’s girlfriend, whose name she could never remember, sitting near the firepit, which was
smoking slightly. She offered up a small wave as Willa parked and shouted something that
brought Scott, Aspen, and Billy from the tents. A few muted greetings (everyone was plainly
hungover) preceded a flurry of activity as they all worked to unload the Mustang.

The tent took even shorter time, as Scott and Billy worked together seamlessly. It helped that
Billy was so tall, he could reach the middle and pull it up into shape by himself. Jade took a
moment to take in her surroundings, as they were closed in by trees, but not oppressively so.
She could hear activity from the other campsites, but they were far enough apart from each
other that it didn’t feel like someone was immediately next door. The soft roar of water was
also present, though Jade honestly couldn’t tell how close it was.

Scott came up beside her and gave her a brief nod. “Glad you could come, Jade.”

“I wasn’t really given much of a choice,” she said with a derisive snort. “Georgie was even in
on it.”

“Doesn’t surprise me,” he said, giving a small chuckle. “Those three together scare me a bit.”

Jade raised an eyebrow. “Should you be admitting that about your girlfriend?”

“I won’t tell if you won’t,” Scott said and, with a tip of his hat, walked off to the fire pit,
where he started building back up the fire. To the camp at large, he called, “Makin’ burgers
for lunch.”

The rest of the afternoon passed with food, beer, and some decent conversation. One of Jade’s
major insecurities once she had started being dragged to Saddle Mountain practices was that
the others would treat her like a kid. Thankfully, while there were a few times when she felt
the age gap between them (mostly the drinking), the others never really made a deal out of it.
That extended to Billy and Nick’s girlfriends, as well. She wouldn’t call them friends, but
Jade definitely wasn’t hating her time with them.

When evening encroached, they all worked together to make a stew over the fire, which
turned out to be excellent. Of course, being musicians, their instruments made the trip, which
led to an impromptu concert that brought over a few of the other campers. Jade had been to
enough Saddle Mountain practices by that point to learn a few songs and joined in on
harmonies. She also sang lead on a couple of the songs the band had asked her to learn. If
pressed, Jade would grudgingly admit that, thus far, she was enjoying herself, even if she
doubted she would ever get the campfire smell out of her clothes.

That changed as the sun went down behind the trees, the instruments were put away, and the
hard alcohol came out.

“We’re playing Never Have I Ever,” Willa proclaimed as she passed Jade a wine cooler from
the shockingly large supply in the ice chest that had been in her trunk. They were all circled
around the fire, with Jade next to Willa in camp chairs. Billy and his girlfriend were to their
immediate right, while Nick and his were next to them.

Aspen groaned from directly across the fire from Jade. “We’re not playing drinking games,
Wills.”

“What’s the matter?” Willa asked. “Afraid of showing Jade just how lame you really are?”

“She’s already aware of how lame I am.”

Willa glared. “All in favor of Never Have I Ever raise their hand.”

Both of the other girls gave their assent, with Nick and Billy following their lead. Scott didn’t
care either way, but Aspen gave Jade a pleading look. She shrugged and said, “We’re kind of
outnumbered, here.”

“Fine,” Aspen huffed. “Just, let’s not get too crazy.”

“That’s not possible,” Willa said with an evil grin. “I’ll start. Never have I ever smoked up.”

Everyone, including Jade, tipped back their drinks. Jade noticed that Billy and Nick were
both drinking straight from whiskey bottles. She would be shocked if they weren't flat on
their asses inside of thirty minutes. Willa cocked an eyebrow at Jade and said, “This could get
interesting.”

“I’m not a nun,” Jade shot back.

“Apparently not. Your turn.”

Jade thought for a moment before saying, “Never have I ever dated someone at least ten years
older.”

That time, only Billy’s girl, Susan, took a drink. At Billy’s look of surprise, she grinned and
said, “That summer in Italy before we met. His name was Tommaso.”
The game went like that for a while, with Jade surprisingly finding herself drinking quite a
bit. The questions weren’t all that bad, either, and most of the drinks came from non-
relationship ones. As young as she and Beck were, and inexperienced in certain areas, Jade
shouldn’t have been completely surprised. There were a few occasions that had her taking a
swig, but the non-sexual relationship questions and resulting stories really threw a light on
how bad hers with Beck had been. Even Nick and Ashley, who had been together for less
than six months, seemed to be on steadier ground than they had managed in nearly three
years.

No, most of the questions that led to her status of ‘not quite drunk, but getting there' revolved
around the antics she and her friends got into, usually with Tori leading the charge.

“Never have I ever been in jail,” Scott said on his next turn.

Willa gave a shocked laugh when Jade and Nick were the only ones who tipped back their
drinks. She tilted her head, but Jade didn’t answer the silent question. That prompted Aspen
to say, for her turn, “Never have I ever been arrested in a foreign country.”

Nick drank again quickly, to everyone’s delight. “Screw you, Aspen. Tijuana wasn’t my fault.
And the charges were dropped.”

“Uh, guys,” Willa said, pointing at Jade, who chugged the rest of her wine cooler.

The rest of the group burst out in shouts, begging to hear the story. Jade tried to deflect and
said, “Just…don’t ever go to Yerba.”

“Where the hell is Yerba?” Scott asked.

“And how did you get arrested there?” Nick added.

Jade sighed wearily and cracked open a new wine cooler. “It’s…complicated. Tori…”

“ Cheekbones got you arrested?” Aspen blurted out.

“Cheekbones?” Scott asked.

Aspen sighed in annoyance. “Baby, we talked about this. Some girl Jade knows. Comes into
Georgie’s everyday. Just about. Scar? Shaved head? Amazing cheekbones? Anything?”

Scott grunted. “I vaguely remember.”

“How did Cheek…” Willa began, but stopped herself at Jade’s glare. “How did Tori get you
arrested?”

“She got us a gig playing for the Chancellor of Yerba in exchange for a free vacation,” Jade
said with an eye roll. “Turns out, Yerba is a hellhole that’s in a civil war. Tori ended up in
prison for attacking the Chancellor.”

“How did you end up in jail, then?” Ashley, Nick’s girlfriend, asked.
Jade stalled by taking a big pull from her bottle. “One of the guys with us kind of, sort of,
killed the Chancellor’s pet octopus.”

Silence followed that proclamation, with everyone staring at Jade with varying looks of
disbelief. Finally, Scott said, “So, you were a political prisoner, in a war-torn country, at
what?”

“Sixteen,” Jade muttered, though it was loud enough that everyone heard.

“When I was sixteen, I thought I was badass because I snuck some wine from the liquor
cabinet,” Susan said with a laugh. “Meanwhile, Jade did time. Were you in a gang?”

Jade shook her head. A wave of dizziness accompanied the movement. “Cat was, though. I
think she sent them T-shirts after we busted out.”

“Pause,” Billy said, actually making a ‘T’ with his hands. “You busted out?”

“Did I not mention that?”

“You did not.”

“Oh.” Jade, however, didn’t elaborate and, instead, drank more from her wine cooler.

“Yeah,” Aspen said slowly. “I think we’re done with Never Have I Ever. No one’s topping
that.”

The game did, indeed, wind down after Jade told them about Yerba. Which was just as well,
since it was getting late and everyone was starting to feel the effects of the alcohol. Jade was
pleasantly buzzed off the wine coolers, though Billy and Nick were obviously hammered
from the whiskey bottles they had been slugging. She honestly wasn’t sure how they were
still upright, much less engaging with their girlfriends. Aspen and Scott were lazily making
out, which was nauseatingly cute. Jade had to force herself a couple of times not to perv and,
instead, watch the fire.

She must have zoned out, because she was jolted out of wherever her mind had gone by a
gentle nudge in her ribs to find Willa smirking at her. “What?”

She nodded her head towards Aspen, who was also grinning. “Lightweight.”

“I’m not that drunk.”

“You were staring into the bonfire like it would give you the meaning of life,” Willa said.
“You’re either drunk or you’re high. And if it’s high, dude. Share.”

Jade couldn’t fight the small giggle that came out. Okay, maybe she was a hair more than
pleasantly buzzed. “Shut up.”

Willa just laughed in response, carelessly throwing an arm around her shoulders. Jade bristled
and tried to shrug it off, but couldn’t quite bring herself to threaten bodily harm.
“To repeat my question,” Aspen said from across the fire, “what’s the deal with you and
Cheekbones?”

Jade froze in her struggles to get out from under Willa’s unwanted embrace. “Did you
seriously get me drunk so that I'll talk about Tori?”

Aspen waggled her eyebrows at Jade. “Told you, West. Long game. Now, spill.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Bullshit,” Willa coughed out. Jade shot her a glare that was laughed off. “Jade, you actually
let her touch you without biting her head off. And we’ve both seen you two together. There’s
something going on.”

“I’m not talking about it.”

“That just means we’re going to make up wild stories until you do,” Aspen said. “Wills, want
to start?”

Willa narrowed her eyes thoughtfully at Jade, tapping her finger on her chin. “A childhood
friend you haven’t seen since you were, like, eight. You were once as close as sisters, but she
tragically moved away and you lost contact with her until she walked into the coffee shop
and back into your life.”

Jade rolled her eyes. “No. Not doing this.”

“Cheekbones is a recently released mental patient,” Aspen said, her grin huge. “She’s trying
to get back with the love of her life and you volunteered to help, but Cheekbones has to join
you in a dance competition as payment.”

Willa frowned in drunken concentration. “Isn’t that the plot of Silver Linings Playbook ?”

Aspen glared. “Okay, Miss ‘I’m an Actress.’ You do better.”

“Gladly,” Willa said, sitting up straighter. “Jade is a vampire assassin, while Cheekbones is a
mortal with a bloodline that traces back to…

“That’s Underworld ,” Nick interrupted, drawing laughter from everyone around the fire.

“How much longer is this going to keep going?” Jade asked with a sigh. A small part of
herself, which she will never, ever admit to, was enjoying the back-and-forth.

“We haven’t even started on bad fanfiction plots,” Aspen called out. “Maybe you’re two
witches who attend a magic school and an accident in one of your classes resulted in a soul
bond…”

“Fine,” Jade interrupted with a growl. “You win. It’s…complicated.”

Willa tilted her head and asked, “How so?”

Jade didn’t want to answer, really. She didn’t know any of these people that well. Plus, it
wasn’t really her story to tell and the person who should be telling it was hundreds of miles
away. Also, Jade still wasn't sure if the other night had been an aberration and Tori just
happened to be in the mood to get a few things off her chest. That didn’t stop Jade from
feeling an uncomfortable urge to spill her guts, though.

She hadn’t really talked to anyone about what had happened. None of Tori’s friends had, as
far as she knew. Even immediately after the accident, the conversation was more about their
concern for Tori and less how they all were dealing. Cat, in particular, seemed content to
pretend everything was normal and that Tori was just out a few days with an illness. Lane
tried to get them into counseling sessions at school, but, for Jade at least, she just set her jaw
and refused to speak. Therapy and her didn't exactly have a good track record. But…

Maybe spilling her guts to strangers wasn’t the worst thing in the world. They wouldn’t have
the baggage that came with their friend group. That could also be the alcohol talking,
though.

“She died.”

“Wait, what?” Aspen sat up so fast, she nearly fell out of Scott’s lap. “Like…”

“It was just for two minutes,” Jade said softly. “But, yeah.”

“Christ,” she heard Scott mutter, followed by a few agreeing murmurs from the others.

Willa laid a hand on Jade’s arm, which was quickly shrugged off. Willa, to her credit, seemed
to get it. “How?”

“Car wreck,” Jade said, surprised by how toneless her voice sounded. “Rideshare she was in
got t-boned by a drunk shitbag. I guess she…y’know…on the way to the hospital. They were
able to…but, Tori…”

Jade’s voice finally hitched a little. “She was fucked up. Bad. Was in the hospital for a month.
Had to have multiple surgeries. When she got out, she lasted two weeks at home. Said being
in LA was too much, so she went to her grandparents' place to…I don't know. Screw her head
back on right?”

“Were you guys close before the wreck?” Aspen asked.

“She’s my best friend,” Jade said without thinking. Oh, god, the distant voice of Sober Jade
started screaming out. Stop now, you idiot . Drunk Jade ignored her. “But I’m not really good
at the whole people…thing. Shit, I’ve been such a complete gank to her, I’m shocked she’s
stuck around.”

“What the hell is a ‘gank?’” Nick asked, his voice heavily slurred.

A chorus of responses came from all the girls around the fire. “Total bitch.”

Nick shook his head slowly, as if it were underwater. “Sorry I asked.”

“But that’s changed,” Susan said. At Jade’s nod, she asked, “How?”

NO!

“We went on a date.”

Gank.

Willa shifted her camp chair around to fully face Jade with a raised eyebrow that was not at
all sexy. “Really.”

Jade groaned and shook her head, trying in vain to clear it. “It was for a play at school.
Sikowitz is insane and decided the only way to work on our chemistry, y’know, since we
were ‘married,’ was to force us to date. Sucked at first, but then she called me pretty and
these two chodes started getting up in our faces. So we sang a song to get them to back off.”

Aspen let out a disbelieving laugh. “You…sang?”

“Karaoke sushi bar,” Jade said as if that explained everything.

“And that worked?” Aspen asked incredulously, drawing a shrug from Jade. She looked over
to Willa. “We have got to party in Hollywood.”

“What song?” Nick’s girl…Ashley? Ashley asked.

“Take a Hint.”

“Nice,” Willa said and offered up a fist. She kept wiggling it with a big grin that in no way
reminded Jade of Tori until she tapped it lightly. After that, couples started drifting off to their
tents, starting with Aspen and Scott. Jade found she really had no idea how late it was, with
her phone forgotten in Willa’s Mustang. The group was really serious about the ‘no phones’
edict.

Jade found herself reflecting on all she had learned about them over the course of the day,
more than she had even hanging out at practice. Willa, she knew, had also been at the
University of Washington with Aspen, but had dropped out after a semester, much to her
father's dismay. She worked the bar and a couple of other side gigs, including starring in
Cyrano , while she tried to figure out ‘what she wanted to be when she grew up.’ Nick was a
mechanic and loved it, while Billy was working in IT for a local company. Apparently, it paid
really well.

Scott was the only one of them that wanted to pursue making music as his career, as even
Aspen wanted to use her music degree to eventually be a teacher.

They were learning about her, as well. As drunk as Jade had apparently gotten, she couldn’t
shut up and Willa was more than happy to encourage it. The only topic that even Drunk Jade
would stay away from was her parents, but other than that, she was goaded into talking about
Beck, her writing, the short films she had made. Mostly, though, her stories kept coming back
to one topic.
“You did what?” Willa asked quietly, as everyone else had finally gone to sleep and the two
of them had moved to their own tent.

“Canceled the band,” Jade said without a hint of shame. “And then hired Doug the Diaper
Guy to crash her ‘prome.’”

The last bit was said in the Sweet Sally Peaches voice. Willa giggled. “I’ve seen videos with
that guy. He’s hilarious.”

“Yeah, well, you didn’t get your dress ruined by his sweaty, hairy chest,” Jade mumbled. At
Willa’s questioning look, she added, “Tori claimed I was prom queen, with Dougie boy as the
king. I still can’t get her to admit she rigged it.”

“Your school sounds insane,” Willa said, propped up on her elbow after settling into her
sleeping bag.

Jade frowned, trying to figure out if it was an insult or not, but quickly shrugged it off.
“Whatever. I love it. Nowhere else would I have gotten to work with Dale Squires.”

“No shit? That’s awesome,” Willa said. “Too bad he’s apparently such a terrible douchebag.”

“Um,” Jade said with an embarrassed blush. “Yeah. Terrible. Awful.”

“Jade?” Willa asked with narrowed eyes.

She shifted uncomfortably as she sat on her own sleeping bag. “That whole…thing may have
been…hypothetically, speaking…not exactly…true.”

“What did you do?”

Jade sighed. “Tori…”

Willa didn’t let her finish before bursting out laughing. Jade swatted at her with a pillow.
“What’s so damn funny?”

“Jade…” Willa began but paused, obviously trying to figure out how to word something.
“You don’t even realize how often you talk about her, do you?”

Jade shot her a scowl. “I don’t, either.”

“You really do,” Willa said smugly. “And you’re around her a lot. I mean, you have a
standing date. Every day. And then you eat dinner with her family several nights a week.”

“I’m kind of her only friend here…”

Willa sighed. “Fine, just make me ask it outright. Do you like Tori?”

“I mean, she kind of grows on you after a while.” Even Drunk Jade was well aware she was
deflecting and trying to fall back into an old role that didn’t quite fit her anymore. “It’s a bit
like a fungus.”
Willa shot her a glare. “An hour ago you admitted to her being your best friend, so don’t try
to feed me that bullshit. You know exactly what I meant.”

Jade huffed. “I don’t…I’m not…I’m…I’m…”

Straight? a tiny voice that sounded a little like Beck rang in her thoughts. We know that’s not
entirely accurate, don’t we?

Jade tried to shut out that traitorous thought, but Willa’s question took root in her mind. Sure,
at first, everything about Tori pissed her off, beyond even the kiss with Beck ( stage-kiss, my
ass ). Tori was whiney, and self-centered, and kept somehow getting opportunity after
opportunity thrust at her, whether she deserved it or not.

She had managed to slide into Jade’s friend group (not that she ever admitted they were all
friends) so easily, it was like they had been waiting for Tori to join them the entire time.
Which, yes, royally pissed Jade off at the time, since she had to work so hard to just be civil
to anyone. Even Cat, who was essentially a living Disney character.

One of the side characters. The ones that didn’t have much in the way of common sense and
you wondered how they didn’t end up electrocuted on a daily basis because they wanted to
make toast in the shower.

Jade wasn’t sure, exactly, when the hostility transitioned into begrudging respect, and further
from there into something akin to friendship. Perhaps when Tori took the detention without
complaint after Jade faked her injury? Maybe Well Wishes ? Yerba? Definitely well before
their ‘date’ at Nozu. All Jade knew was that her vitriol for Tori had slowly morphed from true
hatred to just Jade being Jade and not really being able to be nice to anyone, even those she
cared about.

But now? Now, Jade could admit that Tori may be one of the best human beings she’s ever
met. How else could someone not only continuously put up with her bullshit, but keep
coming back for more?

Tori was adorably naive, in a way, because she would set herself up for one of Jade’s biting
retorts or pranks and somehow not ever see it coming, getting this adorable pout on her face
each time. Jade loved drawing out that pout, because…

Oh. Realization struck her like a gong. Oh, shit.

Jade had said it, herself, months ago. She liked it when Tori was sad. Because that pout was
fucking sexy.

“Jade?” Willa’s voice cut into Jade’s internal freak out. Jade held up a hand and shook her
head to get Willa to shut up and let her think.

Tori. Caring, kind, definitely nerdy Tori. The girl with the patience to handle Jade's mercurial
nature. Boundless tolerance for Robbie and his weirdness. Who accepted Cat without
hesitation. Who had made Jade jealous with how easily she got along with Beck. Andre’s
fucking muse. Tori, who sang so damn well without training that it was kind of sickening.
And was more talented at acting than Jade had really ever given her credit for.

Who wasn’t just pretty from a certain angle.

No, Tori was fucking hot.

Am I…am I…gay? Jade tested the label out in her mind. She fought a recoil at the thought,
hating herself a little for it. Jade wanted to believe she was open-minded; who someone loved
was their business and no one else's. That hesitation, though, was telling. Apparently, it was
okay for everyone but herself. But why? Why wouldn’t it be okay if she were…that?

A memory, long buried, rose to the surface of Jade's mind. Another new girl, this time in
seventh grade. Oh, God. Ali. Something about her had captivated Jade the moment she
walked into their science class. Ali hadn’t been put off by Jade’s acid tongue, finding most of
her comments hilarious. They had grown closer over the course of that semester, spending
almost all their free time together. Ali was the first person Jade considered her best friend.

And she ruined it by kissing Ali the summer before eighth grade.

Well, more like her father ruined it by walking in on them making out on Jade’s bed just
before Halloween that year.

“Fuck,” Jade breathed, suddenly remembering that horrible day.

“Hey, you okay?”

Willa’s voice sounded distant, almost like it was underwater. Jade shook her head quickly and
started breathing rapidly. She could hear the rage in her father’s voice, the screaming about
her being an abomination. How it was all that whore’s fault ( Who calls a fourteen-year-old
girl a whore? ) his daughter was ‘unnatural.’

“He threatened to kick me out,” Jade said out loud without realizing it. The tent was suddenly
too confining and she felt a strong need to runfuckinggetoutairIneed…

A hand was on her back and rubbing in a soothing manner. Instead of recoiling from the
touch, as she did for just about anyone but Beck’s and ( Goddamn it, Willa was right ) Tori’s,
Jade leaned into it, letting it ground her. “What are you doing?”

“Something my mom used to do to help me calm down,” Willa said gently. “I used to get bad
panic attacks as a kid. I know you don’t like…”

“Don’t stop,” Jade interrupted. She was kind of glad she was drunk, because Sober Jade
would never have allowed the comfort she sorely needed at that moment.

“Not planning on it,” Willa reassured. “Who threatened to kick you out? Your dad?”

“Yeah,” Jade said after a moment to try to gather her wits, made more difficult because of the
alcohol still in her system. “I, uh…he, he caught me with a…a girl a few years back. Eighth
grade. Called me…things. Said if I didn’t…if I insisted on being…he wouldn’t stand for it
under his roof.”

Willa let out a hiss. “Holy shit. Would he actually…?”

“Yeah,” Jade whispered. “Yeah, he would. Can’t have anything ‘unnatural’ around. Have to
keep up the ‘American-as-Apple-Fucking-Pie’ facade for his clients. It’s bad enough I’m
artsy and have piercings.”

“What about your mom?” Willa asked after a moment. “Is she an option if he does kick you
out?”

“I’ve talked to her twice in the past year,” Jade said, the words bitter on her tongue. “My
birthday and Christmas. I can count the number of minutes we talked on one hand. Fuck, I
don’t even know where she’s living right now. Miami, maybe?”

“So, not an option.”

Jade let out a laugh that was utterly devoid of humor. “I’m a court-ordered obligation, not a
daughter. So, no, not an option.”

Silence fell over the pair, heavy and near-suffocating. Jade couldn’t stop replaying the Ali
incident and its fallout over in her mind. God, she became a bitch almost overnight. The look
of devastation on Ali’s face when Jade told her to stay the fuck away from her…

Jade almost wanted to go back to drinking so she could forget it.

She sighed and laid back fully onto her sleeping back, staring up at the canvas ceiling of the
tent. “I’m not even sure if I am…y’know.”

Willa hummed beside her. “You don’t have to figure it all out tonight. And, for what it’s
worth, I don’t care if you’re gay, bi, or otherwise. No one here will.”

“Thanks,” Jade said softly. She wanted to leave it there, she really did, and just go to sleep.
The shock of the memories had sobered her up a little, enough that Sober Jade should have
been back in control of her mouth and emotions, locking that shit back down. It seemed,
however, that Drunk Jade wasn’t quite ready to turn over the keys, quite yet.

“I think I do.”

“Do what?” Willa mumbled, already halfway to sleep.

“Like Tori.”
 Chapter 5

By the time Monday rolled around, Jade had her emotions back under control, at least
outwardly. Inwardly, she was a mess, but it wasn’t obvious when you looked at her.

Thankfully for Jade’s ego, no one gave any indication that they had heard her freak-out on
Saturday night. She wasn’t even sure that Billy and Nick were aware anything had happened,
as heavily as they had drunk. Aspen watched her a little closely, but said nothing. Jade had a
suspicion that Willa had cut her off when they had gone to the restroom after waking up.

Jade wasn’t going to argue with a little bit of coddling in this case. She also was never
drinking again.

Willa laughed when she relayed that last bit as they sat in the theater seats waiting for
Thaddeus to show up. “Wait until college. That’s going to be your mantra every Sunday for
your freshman year.”

“You went one semester,” Jade shot back. “That hardly qualifies you as an expert.”

“Yeah,” Willa agreed. “And I pretty much flunked out because, every Sunday, I swore I was
never drinking again.”

“The whole ‘not going to class’ was probably a bigger factor.”

Willa waved her off. “Details.”

They settled in to watch Kellis and Jaxon, who was playing Raguneau, run through some
lines. Kellis wasn’t terrible, though Jaxon kept trying to do a horrible French accent. Every
time he started using it, Jade shouted out a loud, “No!” She hoped it would be like training a
puppy and the message would sink in without resorting to having to use a rolled up
magazine.

Jade’s focus was on the duo on the stage and she vaguely heard Willa say something. She
absently responded with, “Yeah, sure. Whatever.”

“Really?” Willa asked. “I expected to have to fight you a little more.”

Jade turned her head and raised her eyebrow. “What?”

Willa smirked. “You didn’t actually hear me, did you?”

“Of course I did,” Jade said, knowing full well Willa was aware she was lying. “You were
wanting to go to Scott’s after, right?”

“No, no I wasn’t,” Willa said. Her gray eyes sparkled with humor. “I think we had a bit too
much ‘togetherness’ this past weekend, don’t you?”

Jade nodded slowly. “I could use a break, sure.”

“I said you should come to karaoke at the bar on Thursday.”

“Oh.” It actually didn’t sound horrible. The last time she had actually done any performing
was more of an apology to Cat than anything. Fucking Canadians named Moose. Fucking
Tinkle Aid.

Inevitably, because Tori really never did seem to be too far from her mind, Jade’s thoughts
turned to the night of the Platinum Music Awards. Needless to say, Jade and Tori weren’t
exactly welcome at the official after party, so they had all met up at Karaoke Dokie. It had
been a good night celebrating Tori’s big moment, right before everything went to hell. Jade
hadn’t even minded that her selfless gesture to step aside went unmentioned. Especially when
Tori wouldn’t stop giving her a blinding smile every time their gazes caught on one another.
Which Jade, knowing now what she had buried in her subconscious, realized had happened a
lot.

“Yeah, sure. Whatever.”

Willa shook her head and rolled her eyes. “And bring Tori along.”

Jade froze and fought to keep her panic from showing on her face. Yes, she realized she had
feelings for Tori, but that didn’t mean she was going to act on them. She had a thousand
reasons not to, starting with not being ready to fully admit to also being into girls and going
all the way up to the whole disowning thing. Plus, mentally, Tori was a mess and there was
no fucking way she was ready for the hell that was dating Jade West.

Her mask must not have been good enough, because Willa leaned closer and whispered,
“Jesus, Jade. I just meant it as a way to get her out of her house.”

Jade nodded and took a few deep breaths. She should have known better, really. Willa had
been surprisingly understanding of the whole thing, not pushing Jade to do anything she
wasn’t ready for. Weirdly, considering their usual personalities, Jade was more worried about
Aspen than she was Willa.

“Not a word,” Jade said, pointing her finger so close to Willa’s face she could see her eyes
cross. At the assenting nod, she leaned back and added, “I don’t know if she’ll be up for it.
The trip down to LA kind of wrecked her.”

That wasn’t even an exaggeration. They had exchanged brief texts on Sunday night, Tori
wanting reassurance that there had been no bear encounters. She had apparently spent the
entire weekend on the couch in her living room, not really feeling up to moving much. Jade
agonized over each text, trying to make sure she gave nothing away and realizing as she did
that she was being ridiculous.

She was a little concerned about coming face to face with Tori when the Vegas returned the
next day. Were it anyone else, Jade felt confident her mask would hold up to scrutiny. Tori,
like Beck, seemed to be able to read her well enough to know when something was up,
though pre-accident Tori was much less likely to call her out on it. Post-accident, she was a
riddle Jade was struggling to solve.
Jade turned her attention back to the duo on the stage and immediately shouted, “NO.”

“Oh, come on, Jade,” Jaxon said, throwing his hands up. “How is the audience supposed to
believe I’m a French baker if I don’t sound French.”

“You sound like you’re trying to cough up a hairball.” She stood from her seat and stomped
up the stairs. Jaxon was a good several inches taller than her, and beefy, but he still backed
down at the fierce look she had plastered on her face. The gleaming handle of her scissors
sticking out of the waistband of her skirt probably didn’t hurt either. “Kellis isn’t using a bad
accent. Willa isn’t, either. No one else is trying to ‘sound French.’ Don’t over think it and just
say your damn lines.”

She turned to leave but hesitated when she saw Kellis. “I need a little more nervous energy
from your delivery, Kellis. Cyrano is going to see Roxane for the first time since the duel and
is kind of a wreck. You need to be exasperated at everything around you until you can’t take
it anymore and have to write to calm yourself.”

“You got it, boss,” Kellis said with a thumbs up.

Jade didn’t have a chance to respond before the doors to the lobby were thrown open
aggressively. Thaddeus came striding in, an hour late and with an excited bounce in his step
that was matched by a manic grin on his horribly-mustachioed face. “I was struck by
inspiration over the weekend!”

Jade rolled her eyes and muttered just loud enough for Jaxon and Kellis to hear, “Ten bucks
says he wants to change the play.”

“No bet,” Jaxon responded.

“I’ll say he wants to change the setting but keep the play,” Kellis said.

Thaddeus nearly ran up the aisle and tripped coming up the stairs, causing a few snickers
from the gathered cast and crew. “There I was, sitting in my great aunt’s hospital room,
listening to the rhythmic beeping of her life slipping away, when it came to me…”

Jade couldn’t help herself. “Early onset dementia?”

Thaddeus glared at her. “No, Jadelyn.”

“That’s. Not. My. Name.”

He waved her off and spread his arms dramatically, a huge grin on his face. “Blue Lagoon.”

Silence met the proclamation, though Thaddeus kept the pose for a long moment. Jade closed
her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, letting out a huff of frustration, but keeping the
long string of curse words she wanted to unleash to herself. The strained silence was finally
broken by a groan of “damn it” and Kellis pulling out his wallet to hand Jade a ten dollar bill.

Georgie stepped forward, hands wringing nervously. “Thad, we can’t change the play now.
We’re a month out from opening night.”
Thaddeus made a buzzing sound and flapped his hands. “Nonsense. That’s plenty of time.”

“No, it’s not,” Jade ground out. “We’ll have to recast, which means opening back up
auditions. Then we have to go through the whole process of rebuilding sets, getting everyone
comfortable with their characters, making the costumes…”

“Oh, that last one is easy,” Thaddeus said dismissively. “They just wear loincloths.”

“I do look fabulous in a loincloth,” Georgie said.

Jade rounded on him and, without realizing it, pulled her scissors. She pointed them at
Georgie and growled, “Do. Not. Encourage. Him.”

He held his hands up and backed off, though she could see him fighting the grin. She turned
back to Thaddeus and said, “We’re doing the play we’ve been rehearsing for the last three
weeks.”

Thaddeus looked like he was going to argue, but, instead, turned on his heel and marched off
into the seats, glaring at the wall petulantly. Jade rolled her neck to try to ease the creeping
stiffness and snapped her scissors at Kellis. “We’re doing a full run of act two, scenes one
through six. Willa, get your skinny ass up here.”

Rehearsal went fairly smoothly after that, though Jade was constantly fighting to keep her
temper in check. It slipped a couple of times, but she reeled herself in quickly and, thankfully,
everyone seemed to brush any outbursts off easily enough. Thaddeus just sat quietly in his
seat and Jade found herself reminded of working with Dale Squires.

She honestly wasn’t sure who was more worthless.

Willa kept giving her a knowing smirk that Jade couldn’t decipher, so she pushed it away and
focused, instead, on the scene they were working on. Kellis still had trouble conveying the
right amount of anxiety, so Jade stepped up and acted it out for him, showing how the scene
should go, which she realized afterward was probably overstepping. He didn’t seem to mind,
so she didn’t worry about it. Jaxon also seemed to get the message about the French accent
finally, so that was one less thing she had to worry about.

All in all, it was a good evening.

“Not bad tonight,” Jade said as they wrapped up. The cast murmured their thanks as they
collected bags or jackets and began to file out. Thaddeus had bolted as soon as she had
declared them done for the night. “Jaxon, seriously, you didn’t suck after you stopped with
the cartoon skunk accent.”

He nodded and grinned sheepishly before waving goodbye. Willa slid up beside her as she
collected her own belongings and said, “Your biggest fan is here.”

Jade frowned. “My what?”

Willa just gestured with her chin toward the back of the theater. Jade turned and froze in
place as she saw Tori sitting there. She also noticed, but didn’t really register, Trina next to
her, looking uncomfortable and ready to bolt at any moment. Jade’s whole body felt like lead
and her mind completely shut down, not knowing what to do. It wasn’t until Willa pushed her
in the back that Jade jerked in motion, feet heavy as she made her way up the aisle. It never
occurred to her to be upset at the unsolicited contact.

Tori looked tired. There wasn’t another way to put it, really. The glasses on her face
seemingly magnified the dark circles under her eyes, the brown irises surrounded by red. She
was wearing the olive green stocking cap that had become standard, with a light gray hoodie
that had the Hollywood Arts logo in red and white on the chest. Jade didn’t even know those
existed, but, then, she also didn’t go out of her way to check out the school shop.

A tiny smile, barely more than a quirk of her lips, greeted Jade as she came closer. “Hey.”

In typical ‘can’t function in society’ manner, Jade’s response was a curt, “Why are you here?”

Trina scoffed and Jade was now fully aware that she was there. “And why did you bring that
?”

“Well, someone can’t drive,” Trina said with a laughable attempt at a glare at Tori. “And,
besides, Spooky, we both know you’re secretly thrilled. What with you being madly in love
with me and all.”

“I don’t know where you get your delusions…”

“Guys,” Tori cut in with a heavy sigh. “Stop. Please?”

“She started it,” Jade and Trina said simultaneously and then shot each other venomous
looks.

Tori let her head drop back onto the back of the chair she was sitting in and let out a weary
groan. “Treen, why don’t you…go give Willa your, um, notes…on her performance?”

Trina shot Jade one more (weak) glare and strode off toward the stage with a shout of, “Hey,
beanpole!” Jade narrowed her eyes at Tori. “What did Willa do to deserve that?”

Tori shrugged. “She wouldn’t stop, um, bugging me about you.”

Jade felt her cheeks heat up and turned her head, hoping it wasn’t noticeable in the dim
theater. She shifted on her feet, unsure of what, exactly, she should be doing and kind of
hating herself for it. Tori didn’t need her being an awkward, lovestruck teenager; she needed
her friend to not be a spaz.

Can I please rewind my life back to Friday when I didn’t know I was crushing on her? Jade
pled silently. Or at least to Saturday night so I could drink the harder stuff and blackout and
not remember?

“Jade, you can, um, sit down,” Tori interrupted her mental freakout.

“Oh, right,” Jade muttered and dropped heavily into the chair next to the aisle that Trina had
been in. She fidgeted with the hem of her skirt for a second and said, a little more gently this
time, “So, uh, why are you here? I didn’t think you were back until tomorrow?”

“Mom got, um, us a flight out…early this, um, this morning,” Tori said. “I’m…not ready for
LA yet.”

Jade winced. “Still too much?”

Tori nodded sadly. “I feel so, um, claustrophobic. Like I can’t...really breathe.”

“That sucks,” Jade said. She tried to imagine what it would be like to not feel comfortable in
the only city she’d ever called home, but couldn’t, not really. Knowing, though, that Tori was
struggling so much actually helped Jade to shove down her wonky feelings. She wasn’t about
to add more to her plate that she already couldn’t handle, if she could at all help it.

Was it healthy? Probably not. That didn’t matter to her, though. She would cross her own
mental health bridge later.

“You sound better, though. Like, the stutter isn’t as bad as Thursday.”

Tori gave a small, shy smile. “Thanks. My doctor says that…um…the, uh, aphasia should
clear up…on it’s own. Just have to stick with, um, the speech therapy.”

“The rest go okay?” Jade asked as she kicked her feet up to rest on the back of the seat in
front, her skirt sliding down a little on her thighs before she caught it and pushed it back
down.

“As it could,” Tori said.

Jade noticed just a slight hesitation before she answered and thought she caught Tori’s head
snapping up as Jade turned her head to look at the other girl. Was she…she wasn’t staring at
my legs, was she? No, don’t be stupid. You’re just projecting. Stop it, West.

Heedless of Jade’s inner turmoil, Tori continued with her update. “Need to do more…um…
physical therapy now that my knee and…ribs are mostly healed. My therapist is upping my
sessions…back to, um, three times a week now that I can, um, talk a little better. We’re video
chatting. And I’m supposed to get out, uh, of the house more. Small things. Short trips…to
the store, maybe a restaurant that isn't, um, too crowded. She was encouraged that I, um, was
going to the coffee shop and wants to expand…that slowly.”

Jade opened her mouth to respond, but was interrupted by an obviously annoyed Willa
stomping up the aisle. “Thanks, ever so much, for introducing me to your sister, Cheekbones.
She’s so delightful.”

Tori blinked in confusion. “What?”

Jade didn’t bother fighting the wicked grin at seeing how flustered Willa was. Trina was
sauntering up from behind, a satisfied smile on her face, as if she had just done Willa the
world’s biggest favor by imparting her knowledge upon her. In Trina’s warped version of
reality, that probably was the case, Jade mused.
Willa growled and leaned in across Jade, getting close to Tori’s face. “You’re coming to
karaoke on Thursday. And you’re doing a song. My pick.”

“O-okay?” Tori said, looking to Jade for clarification.

Jade rolled her eyes and shoved Willa back a few steps to get her clear of her personal space.
“I didn’t have a chance to bring it up, yet. We’ve been cordially invited to the bar Willa
works at for karaoke night.”

“Oh.”

“Thursday,” Willa said with a snap and a point at both of them. “Seven.”

Tori frowned. “Can we, um, even be in a bar?”

“You can until ten,” Willa said. “Cheekbones. Jade, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

With that, she stormed out of the theater, leaving just Jade and the Vega sisters. “There goes
my ride,” she said, directing a scowl at the elder of the two.

Trina huffed and said, “So ungrateful. You would think she would be thrilled for any
constructive criticism.”

Jade knew she would regret asking, but found herself incredibly curious. “What did you tell
her, anyway?”

“To get a boob job,” Trina said simply. “No one in Hollywood is going to give her a second
look as an A-cup.”

“Christ, Vega,” Jade bit out and pulled out her phone from her back pocket, opening up the
text thread with Willa.

“Go get the car, Trina,” Tori said, her voice hard. Jade raised an eyebrow in amusement at
Tori’s tone as she typed out a quick apology. She knew she was going to have to repeat it
tomorrow and assumed Tori would, also. It then hit Jade that she felt the need to apologize
for Trina and wondered where the hell that impulse came from.

Trina spun and stomped off, her high heels clicking on the marble flooring in the lobby
before the door swung shut. “I swear, I don’t know how…we’re related sometimes,” Tori
said.

“Ever see that old movie Twins?” Jade asked as she stood and gathered up her messenger bag
and leather jacket. Tori nodded, then paused and tilted her head with a quirked eyebrow in
question. “Beck loves Schwarzenegger. When he’s sick, that’s all he wants to watch. Doesn’t
matter what movie.”

Tori gave a small grin. “Never would have guessed…guessed it.”

“Yeah, it’s one of his guilty pleasures,” Jade said. “That and drag racing. He’s always trying
to get me to go with him. Anyway, of the two of you, Trina’s the DeVito. You got all the
talent and good looks. Trina got the leftover genetic crap.”

That got a small laugh and Jade had to fight back a mushy smile. God, this is ridiculous, she
thought with an inner eye-roll. At least, she hoped it was inner. Tori didn’t give her a
questioning look, so it must have been.

“Well, if Trina’s…the leftovers, we have some pretty good, um, genetics going for us,” Tori
said as she and Jade walked through the lobby.

Jade gave her a raised eyebrow. “Have you seen your parents? Yeah, you have some ‘pretty
good genetics’ going for you.”

Tori ducked her head and Jade was pretty certain she saw a blush. After a moment, Tori
cleared her throat and said, “I was supposed to invite you to, um, dinner tonight, anyway. So
Willa leaving…without you kind of means, um, you’ve got no choice.”

They stepped outside and Jade turned to lock the doors, since they were the last to leave.
Over her shoulder, she said, “That depends. You aren’t cooking, are you?”

“Mom’s making enchiladas.”

“Then I accept.”

Tori gave her a dirty look, though Jade could tell it was teasing. Trina pulled up shortly after
and Jade slid into the backseat. Surprisingly, Tori did the same on the driver’s side. She gave
an embarrassed smile at Jade’s questioning glance and shook her head. Jade understood then
that she wasn’t comfortable in the front seat. Tori let out a shaky breath as Trina put the car in
motion and Jade found herself reaching over and gripping her hand. Tori looked down at their
joined hands blankly, as if she couldn’t believe what she was seeing.

In truth, Jade couldn’t believe she had done that, either. At her best, she wasn’t exactly
nurturing. She had moments during her relationship with Beck, some even with Cat, though
those were rarer. Tori was bringing something out of her that Jade hadn’t realized existed and
it frightened her a little.

It also felt kind of good, which scared her even more.

She held on, though, through the rest of the drive to the Vegas’ place. Holly had already
started cooking, as the smell of the enchiladas hit her as soon as she stepped in the front door
and it was mouth-watering. Trina stomped down to her basement bedroom, leaving Jade and
Tori to sit down on the stools at the breakfast bar in the kitchen while Holly cleaned up some
of the unneeded dishes.

It was a weird experience for her, as Holly peppered her with questions about the play. Tori
interjected a couple of times about things she had seen that afternoon, but it was mostly just
Jade and Holly carrying the conversation.

Her father paid the bare minimum of attention to her life; Jade wasn’t sure if he even knew
she and Beck had broken up months ago. The two conversations with her mother had boiled
down to “Happy birthday/Merry Christmas. Are you well? Good to hear. Talk to you again
soon.” To have a parental figure actually take an interest…Jade didn’t really know how to
deal. She did her best to keep from her default response to being in an unfamiliar situation,
namely becoming a raging gank.

After dinner, Tori talked her into walking with her along the beach, which was part of her
therapy, both physical and mental. Something about physical exercise helping with her
mental health. They didn’t talk much, thankfully, allowing Jade to enjoy the sound of the
gulls and the soft crashing of the waves nearby. It was actually pretty soothing, she had to
admit.

And it was quickly ruined by glass shattering.

Jade pulled her phone, finding a new message from Beck in the group text. Apparently, he
had an audition that went really well for some bit part in a TV show. That triggered a series
of texts from the others, mostly Cat, who was rapid-fire sending a bunch of cat memes to
show her excitement. Jade just congratulated him on potentially playing dead body number
three on Crime Scene Psychic .

A snort to her right drew Jade’s attention. She looked over to see Tori on her phone, scrolling
through…wait. “Is that the group text?”

Tori’s cheeks colored in embarrassment. She gave a small nod. Jade narrowed her eyes. “So,
you’ve been seeing what we’ve been texting this entire time?”

“No,” Tori said emphatically. “My old phone was, um, destroyed in the…uh…y’know. I just
got this, um, Friday night. Mom kind of insisted. You were, um, actually the first person I
texted with…on it.”

Jade folded her arms over her chest and gave Tori a pointed look. “And you haven’t checked
in with the others yet because?”

Tori winced. Jade was relieved to note that tears were not present. “This is going to sound,
um, stupid.”

Jade bit back the remark that she wanted to make, knowing that it would make the tears show.
Instead, she said, “I’ll…try not to laugh.”

“I’m a little…afraid to.”

That…was not what Jade expected to hear. “Afraid? Of us?”

“No,” Tori said with a shake of her head.

“Tori.”

“Um…kind of.”

“Tori.”
That got a shameful pause. “Yes.”

Jade let her eyebrow raise slowly, forcing a stone-faced glare onto her face. Tori visibly
gulped and tuned her head away before she stammered out, “It’’s…it’s been, um, s-so long.
What if…what if they…um…they don’t…”

Tori trailed off, her face awash in both sadness and frustration. Finally, she whispered, just
loud enough for Jade to hear, “What if they, um, hate me?”

“Seriously?” Jade exclaimed. She couldn’t stop herself from adding, “That is stupid.”

An offended noise came from Tori. Jade threw her arms up in exasperation and said, “We all
love you, you idiot. We know you’re going through something and just want to be there for
you.”

“All of you?” Tori asked, mirroring Jade’s raised eyebrow in challenge. It made Jade’s breath
catch and not because it was attractive as hell. No, it took the air from her lungs because it
was a very Tori look. One that she wasn’t sure she would see again.

Jade swallowed and managed to get out, “I’m walking this close to the ocean with you, Tori.
You know how much I hate the ocean. So, yeah, even me.”

Tori turned her head to look out over said ocean, though Jade saw the smile. It was bigger
than any she had seen yet since the accident and Jade wasn't exactly sure what she said that
caused it. She just knew that she wanted to say it again if it meant keeping that smile in
place.

After a moment of companionable silence, Jade sighed and said, “Look, if you’re still
worried about the full group, maybe just call Andre.”

“Maybe,” Tori said slowly. She took a steadying breath and nodded to herself at whatever
internal conversation had just gone on within her head. “Okay.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” she said with a confirming nod. “Yeah, I’ll call him. But…”

Jade groaned. “Seriously? You’re putting a qualifier on calling your best friend?”

“Yep,” Tori said. “I’ll call Andre, if you…um…apologize to Cat.”

Jade frowned. “For what?”

“And Cat’s...basically a pet,” Tori quoted with that challenging eyebrow.

Guilt bubbled up at the words so casually thrown back in her face. It was a sore spot, a scab
that had become infected and never properly healed. Part of Jade also kind of hated that Tori
knew her well enough to know that she hadn’t actually gotten around to apologizing.
Jade ground her teeth together, because she knew that they both needed these calls to happen,
even if every fiber of her being was telling her to flip Tori off and storm back up to the house.
Maybe all the way back to Astoria.

“Fine,” she bit out. “Only because I’ve been meaning to anyway. But you’re calling first.”

Tori smirked and thumbed through her contacts before hitting dial. She even turned the phone
around to show Jade the screen, where, sure enough, Andre’s contact photo was grinning
back at her. Tori didn’t get the phone brought back up to her ear quick enough before he
picked up, because Jade heard a small, “Tor? Please tell me this is you.”

“Hey, Andre,” Tori said, her earlier bravado fading. Jade frowned a little at how Tori
retreated back into herself, but didn’t have much time to dwell before Tori shot her a pointed
look.

Rolling her eyes, Jade turned back out to face the ocean, giving Tori a little bit of privacy
while she went into her own contact list. Cat was, unfortunately, not hard to find, being so
close to the top, but Jade still held off, staring out into the ocean in the dying sunlight. It was
a pretty spectacular view. If you were into oceans. And views.

Dammit, West, you’re stalling. Just call.

Forcefully, she pressed send and waited for the call to connect.

Maybe it won’t go through.

The Waggafuffles theme started playing through the phone speakers. The promise to kill
whomever taught Cat how to set up a ringback ran through her mind.

Cat picked up with a squeal. “Hi, hi Jay-Jay! How’s Texas?”

“That’s your one, Cat,” Jade said as patiently as she could. She hated that nickname, but Cat
was so fucking hard to deny. “And it’s Astoria , not Austin. Still in Oregon.”

“Really?" Cat asked, confusion plain in her voice . "One time my brother went to Oregon.
We’re not supposed to bring that up, though.”

Jade sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Cat…”

“ Jade…” Cat responded in a shockingly good imitation. It was ruined quickly by the girlish
giggle that followed.

Just do it, West. Before you get a migraine. “Cat, I just wanted to, y’know, kind of…maybe…
say that…um…sorry.”

“For what, Jade?”

“For calling you a pet when Beck and I broke up,” Jade mumbled quickly. The silence on the
other end went on long enough that she thought Cat hadn’t heard her and was psyching
herself up to repeat the apology when she got a response.
“Oh! I forgot about that. No worries.”

“You forgot,” Jade said with a resigned sigh. “Of course you did.”

Admittedly, she felt a little lighter, the guilt somewhat alleviated. Not completely, but it was
enough for now. Jade hadn’t realized how much it was weighing down on her until she had
apologized. She let the peace of the moment wash over her, closing her eyes and basking in
the sound of Cat’s voice rapid fire updating on any and everything that had happened to her
since they last talked (which had only been the Thursday previous) along with the rush of the
waves and the birds in the sky.

Her peace was shattered by a high-pitched squeal over her phone. Jade winced at the sudden
attack on her eardrums and noticed out of the corner of her eye that Tori had a pained look on
her face. Jade’s feet started moving that direction without her brain consciously engaging
them when the reason behind Cat’s outburst was revealed.

“Jade! You’ll never believe it!”

She let out a slow breath before saying, “Cat, your voice gets any higher and dogs are going
to come running at me.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Cat whispered, the excitement still obvious in her voice. “It’s just that…Jade,
Andre’s on the phone with Tori!”

“Oh,” Jade said, her mind going a little blank and looking over at Tori, who was staring
blankly ahead, eyes wide in fear. Shit, shit, shit. Jade tried to shut down her own rising panic
and hurried over to Tori’s side, plopping down unceremoniously in the sand.

Her hand went to Tori’s back and started scratching lightly, remembering what Willa had
done for her the other night in the tent. Tori tensed slightly at the sudden contact, but quickly
relaxed back into Jade’s hand. She looked over and mouthed a thank you before refocusing
on the phone in her hand, which Tori had lowered from her ear.

“Tor, you still with us?” Andre’s voice came from the phone. “Tori, girl, please say
something.”

She took a deep, shaky breath and nodded at Jade, who stopped her scratching, but didn’t
remove her hand. “Yeah. I’m, um, I’m here. Sorry. Sorry. Just wasn’t expecting…Cat’s
scream.”

“Jade, I’m putting you on speaker,” Cat’s business-like voice came from Jade’s phone.
“Andre, Robbie, and Rex are in the room, and Tori is on Andre’s phone. Which is also now on
speaker.”

Jade closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. For whatever reason, Tori had
wanted to keep where she was quiet, but that was about to be blown up as soon as either one
of them talked. She turned her gaze on Tori, who was looking at her helplessly, her lower lip
sucked in between her teeth. Great, she was leaving this decision up to Jade.
“Do any of you have your Pearbooks?” she finally said with a put upon sigh.

“I do!” Cat said happily. There was a prolonged silence on the other end while Jade was
certain she was processing what just happened. And in five, four, two, one…

“Jade, why did you just come out of Andre’s phone, too?”

“Muchacha?” Andre asked Tori, though Jade heard it through Cat’s phone.

“Just get your Pearbook,” Jade said shortly. “And give us a few minutes.”

“Us?” Robbie’s voice came in the background. “What does that mean?”

“It means they’re in the same place, chiz for brains,” Rex said. “How you get good grades
I’ll never understand, man.”

“Robbie,” Jade growled out. “Rex goes in time out.”

“Hey, now, you witch…”

Andre cut in. “Man, maybe listen to her. She ain’t that far away. We’ll be waiting, Jade.”

“Bye, Jade!”

Jade shook her head fondly and pushed herself up off the beach. She brushed her hands and
the back of her legs off, instantly regretting the tights she had worn that day. Jade reached
down unthinkingly to help Tori up, though the other girl just stared blankly at the offered
hand.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Jade said. She couldn’t help feeling a little offended, since she
thought they were well beyond the point where Tori was afraid of Jade.

Tori blinked up at her. “What?”

Jade rolled her eyes and reached down to grab her by the arms to pull her up. “Come on,
Vega.”

“Oh.” Tori shook her head as if to clear it and tried to match Jade’s stride back toward the
beach house, though her limp was starting to show. “I’m sorry. I just wasn’t…expecting…
ready for…”

“Can I ask something?” Jade cut in. She received a tentative nod in return, so she took a deep
breath and asked, “Why didn’t you want any of us to know where you were?”

Tori frowned in thought. “I…don’t really know. It made sense to me, um, at the time, but my
mind wasn’t really…working right? It still isn't. Obviously.”

Jade nodded in response, though she didn’t really know what to say because, like many
things with Tori, she didn’t understand. A thought occurred to her as they got closer to the
stone stairwell that led back up to the back patio of the Vega house and she pulled out her
phone again. At Tori’s questioning look, she simply said, “Beck.”

The phone rang twice. “What’s up, Jade?”

“You in a place to video chat?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess,” he said. She heard shuffling in the background and figured he was
laying on his bed in the RV. “What about?”

“Tori.”

“What?” She could feel his anxiety spike through the connection. “Have you heard
something? Is she okay?”

Jade mentally kicked herself. She probably should have led into that better. “Not about Tori.
With Tori.”

There was a pregnant pause over the line. It was so long, Jade actually looked down at the
screen to make sure the connection hadn’t dropped. Finally, Beck said, “I’m very confused.”

You’re not the only one, Oliver. “We’ll get into it here in a bit,” Jade said. “Just be online.”

Another pause. “Okay.”

“Five minutes,” she said, hanging up the phone. Together, she and Tori climbed the stairs to
the lower patio area. A sliding door opened up into the basement TV room, where a huge
sectional couch created a ‘U’ in front of a 75-inch flat screen. After a few weeks where the
only TV she was exposed to was the ancient one in her motel room, Jade had almost cried at
the sight of the monster in the basement. She was itching to put The Scissoring on it, but had
held off thus far, knowing Tori wouldn’t react well. Trina’s room was just off to the side
opposite the staircase leading up to the main floor.

The patio area, itself, was also pretty awesome. It was entirely concrete and had a pretty big
fire pit built into it, along with a brick grill station along the far side. Chairs and outdoor love
seats were positioned around the fire pit, with a set of stairs to the right that led up to the
wood deck, where more chairs and a table were placed. Apparently, Holly’s parents had done
well for themselves with whatever it was they did before they passed and built their dream
home.

Tori led Jade up the stairs to the deck, where they both removed their shoes before entering.
Holly looked up from the book she was reading, the welcoming smile on her face freezing as
she took them in. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” Tori said with an air of frustration. “Everything’s fine.”

“Tori,” Holly said warningly.

Jade cut in quickly, heading off a brewing argument since Tori was plainly on edge. And, holy
crap, when did I become the level-headed one? “I talked Tori into calling Andre. And that led
to him and the others finding out we’re here. Together.”

At Holly’s raised eyebrow, Jade stammered, “I mean, not together, but here. In the same
place. At the same time.”

Inwardly, she cringed. I am an idiot.

Jade nearly missed the quirk of amusement on Holly’s lips, but that’s only because Jade was
steadfastly avoiding looking at Tori at that moment. “Right. Together. But not together. Got
it.”

Tori let out a huff of either frustration or amusement, Jade wasn’t sure. “We’re going to, um,
video chat with everyone. Mind if we use the, uh, desktop?”

“Go for it,” Holly said, waving dismissively in the general area of the stairs to the second
floor. A spare bedroom had been converted into a home office years ago, which, apparently,
Holly had taken over, since she was still working, just remotely. Jade still wasn’t exactly sure
what it was that Holly did for a career. Just that it paid well. “Oh, and Tori? I’m glad you’re
reconnecting with your friends.”

Tori nodded stiffly and trudged up the stairs, Jade following in her wake. She took in the
wood-paneled, narrow hallway, with various pictures hung on the walls that Jade hadn’t
really had a chance to examine. In the brief glimpse she got, it looked like old family photos
of Holly and a sister or cousin. Jade dimly remembered something about an aunt from the
disaster that was filming The Wood, but Tori didn’t really ever talk about her family much
outside of Trina and her parents.

Jade sensed Tori’s nerves even without having to look at her, but the way she was standing in
front of the computer, staring at it like it was a snake coiled to strike, confirmed it. It was
maddening, almost, trying to keep up with Tori now. One moment, they would nearly be
normal (stuttering aside), bantering lightly. But, in the blink of an eye, she’s afraid of the
people she loved and retreating into herself.

“Hey,” Jade said gently, coming around the desk and placing her hand on Tori’s shoulder.
Every movement, every touch, was much lighter than she normally would make, trying to
head off the coming breakdown. “I know I kind of pushed you into this, but you don’t have
to. I can handle the questions however you want.”

Tori shook her head, though her eyes were shining. “No. I want…they deserve…”

She paused, taking a deep, shaky breath. Tori’s voice was noticeably stronger when she said,
“I miss them.”

“They miss you too, dork,” Jade said with a small smile, punching Tori on the shoulder. “Just
let me know if you need to bolt, okay? Say butternut or something.”

That got the desired laugh, even if small, out of Tori. “God, that seems so, um, long ago.”
“Right?” Jade said, mind flashing back to fake bruises and disgusting mac-and-cheese. “You
ready?”

The computer chimed that it was booting up after a curt nod from Tori. A few quick clicks
and Jade opened up PearChat and pulled up Beck’s and Cat’s usernames. Tori went to pull up
a chair, but Jade held up a hand and shook her head as their chat windows opened up. Beck
was obviously in his RV, but Cat’s window was full of faces as all three of the others tried to
crowd in.

“Fuck’s sake, back off the screen,” Jade snapped, having already expected something like
this. “I can count your nose hairs.”

“Yeah, that is a little much, guys,” Beck added.

Andre chuckled as he pushed Cat and Robbie back from the camera and situated them on the
ottoman in Cat’s living room. “Sorry. Got a little too excited.”

Beck nodded. “All good, man. I get it.”

Jade rolled her eyes at Tori offscreen, who grinned. “Which brings up some ground rules
before I bring her in. She freaks out easily…”

“Jade!”

“What? You do,” Jade said with a raised eyebrow, challenging her to contradict the statement.

Tori leaned back in her chair and folded her arms over her chest. “You didn’t have to, um, say
it, though.”

Jade let out a frustrated groan. “Fine. Tori gets overstimulated easily. Better?”

“No.”

“This is comfortingly familiar,” Andre said as a big grin split his face.

That received a chorus of agreements from everyone else. Jade noticed Robbie lean forward
until his face took up the entire camera. “So, you guys are really there together?”

“No, Robbie,” Jade said, unable to keep her frustration in check. “I’m actually channeling her
dead spirit right now. She says…dude! In her bedroom ?”

Robbie’s face went bright red and Tori smacked her on the arm, though there wasn’t a lot of
power behind it. “Jade!”

She scooted the extra chair into the frame and leaned into the camera. “I’m not dead and, um,
we’re both…both in Astoria. Seriously, what is, uh, wrong with you?”

Jade muted the mic quickly and gave Tori a pointed look. “Are you about to crawl out of your
skin anymore?”
“Well, no, but that’s just because…” Tori’s face froze as understanding hit her. “Oh. That’s
just evil.”

“But it worked,” Jade said and unmuted the connection. “Okay, here’s the deal. She really
does get overwhelmed easily, so try to keep the energy levels dialed back. Cat, that means
you.”

“Kay kay, Jade.”

“If she has to take off, don’t get offended,” Jade continued. “And don’t ask about the murder
room in the basement. This connection isn’t safe.”

“Wait…murder room?”

“What did I just say, Robbie?”

“You said ‘and don’t ask about the murder room in the basement. This connection isn’t safe’”
Cat responded, complete with her ‘Jade’ voice.

Jade closed her eyes and sighed. “Thanks, Cat.”

“You’re welcome!” she chirped happily.

A sniffle to her right caused Jade’s eyes to snap open and her head to whip around. Tori was
wiping a steady stream of tears out of her eyes and obviously trying not to start sobbing.
“Tori? Butternut?”

She shook her head quickly and waved her hands at her face. “Happy tears. Happy tears.
Just…give me a moment.”

“Take your time, Tor,” Andre said.

While Tori tried to get herself back under control, Jade updated the others on her summer
thus far, including Tori appearing out of nowhere in the coffee shop. Cat had a million
questions, predictably, though only half made sense as she kept asking about Texas. Jade had
to reassure her that no, she wasn’t riding horses without her. Or ever, if she could help it.

When Tori was finally ready to talk, she started slowly, the speech impediment obviously
embarrassing her. Jade knew the others wouldn’t care, but didn’t push it. Tori got into just
how badly her injuries, especially the ones to her head, had messed her up. Jade noticed that
some details were being omitted, primarily how badly her panic attacks incapacitated her. Not
that Jade had fully seen one in person. Tori had managed to keep herself mostly together
when Jade was around. She had a sneaking suspicion that Tori was trying to spare them by
keeping it away. The fact that she had been in LA not a day earlier had also not been brought
up.

The rest of the gang kept the interruptions to a minimum, though Jade could tell Cat was
almost vibrating from the effort to keep herself from…well, being Cat. Tori seemed to be
handling it all fairly well, though a few of her smiles were watery. She finally had to call
‘butternut’ about an hour and a half in, and Jade could see how worn out Tori was. The dark
circles under her eyes were even more pronounced than they had been at the theater. Jade
signed off quickly after that, though not without both Beck and Andre making Tori promise
to not disappear again.

Tori let out a long breath after Jade closed the browser and leaned back in her chair, staring
blankly at the ceiling. “I can’t believe how…draining that was.”

A tap at the door interrupted the question Jade was going to ask. “Hey, sweetie,” Holly said
after pushing the door open. “How did it go?”

“It was good,” Tori said with a small smile. “I needed that. Them. I’m, um...so damn tired,
though.”

“Tori, language,” Holly chided. Tori just lifted her shoulder unconcernedly. “Go get cleaned
up and go to bed. Jade, we have a spare room, if you’d like to stay.”

With a frown, she looked down at her phone and realized it was past ten. After thinking about
the pros and cons of going back to the Bayview, Jade shrugged and said, “Uh, yeah. Sure. I
don’t open tomorrow, so that’s not a problem.”

Holly nodded. “I’ll have Trina take you back into town in the morning. And the bed is always
yours whenever you need it.”

“Thanks,” Jade mumbled. It was, by far, the least pushy offer to stay that she had received yet
that summer and she wondered if Holly actually knew where she was living. She had half
expected Georgie to stooge on her, since they were apparently childhood friends and all.

It wasn’t until she was alone in the spare bedroom, dressed in sleepwear of Tori’s that
shouldn’t have fit her as well as it did, that Jade really let herself feel the emotions of the day.
Exhaustion, mentally and physically, had her sinking into the deepest sleep she’d probably
had since the trip up to Oregon. As the blackness started to claim her, her last conscious
thoughts were of Tori’s bright smile as she talked to their friends.
 Chapter 6
Chapter Notes

Things get heavy for the next couple of chapters. You are forewarned.

Holly, it turned out, was not a fan of the idea of Tori going to a bar.

“I told you absolutely not,” she said the next night when Jade came by for dinner. From the
way both Holly and Tori had their arms across their chests and their set jaws, this argument
had apparently been going for a while.

Tori huffed. “You still haven't told me, um, why not.”

“You want one particular reason, or the whole list?”

“I’m feeling better,” Tori tried next. “You said it yourself I’m, um, doing better.”

Holly let out a heavy sigh and stood from the table, gathering her used dishes. “Yes, you are.
But that doesn’t mean you are ready for a noisy, crowded bar. Tori, honey, you couldn't
handle being in LA at all and that was mainly just at our house.”

“Jade will be, um, will be there,” Tori said. Jade felt her eyes widen and she slid down her
chair a little, trying to become invisible. It didn’t work at all, as Trina snickered from across
the table. Jade shot her a glare that stopped it cold, but her least favorite Vega still wore a
smirk on her face. “She’ll keep an eye on me and, um, pull me out of there if I can’t…can’t
deal.”

“Honey, that’s a lot to put on Jade,” Holly said with a sigh. “She hasn’t actually seen…”

“She can, um, handle it,” Tori cut in with an absolute certainty in her voice. “Can’t you?”

Jade shifted uncomfortably. “I’m staying out of this.”

Tori glared at her, then turned back to her mother. “She can. And Trina can, uh, drive us, so
she’ll, um, be there.”

Trina made a noise of protest. “Hey! I haven’t agreed to anything.”

“You’re turning down a chance to, um, check out hot, college-aged guys?” Tori shot back,
eyebrow raised. “And impress them with your…talent?”

“Of course not. It would have just been nice to have been asked.”
That was kind of diabolical, Jade thought, trying to keep her face impassive. And weirdly hot.

Holly shook her head. “The answer is still no.”

“Damn it, Mom!”

“Tori! Language!”

Trina stood abruptly. “I’m going to drive Jade home.”

Jade snapped her gaze up and was met with a pleading look. As much as she wanted to leave
Trina looking like an idiot, Jade decided that she didn’t want to be in the middle of an
argument, either. “Uh, yeah. Sure. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Tori nodded tightly but didn’t say anything. Holly kept her eyes on her younger daughter
while she addressed her eldest. “While you’re going, Trina, could you pick up some coffee
and eggs?”

“Sure,” Trina said, gesturing for Jade to follow.

“My card is…”

“Already got it,” Trina called as she rushed to the front door. Neither said anything until
Trina had started her car and had it on the highway back toward Astoria. “They’ve been
going at it all day. I couldn’t take any more.”

“So I’m just a cheap excuse?” Jade said with an arched eyebrow.

“Absolutely,” Trina confirmed with an emphatic nod. “Besides, I wanted to talk to you about
your crush on me.”

Jade growled under her breath. “For the last time, I’m. Not. Crushing. On. You.”

Trina scoffed. “Please. And, look, Jade, I’m flattered. Really. But, even if I were into girls,
you’re in high school. I’m a woman of the world. It would never work.”

Deep breaths, West, Jade thought. Just take deep breaths. Even if you’re ninety-nine percent
sure Tori wouldn’t miss Trina, she is driving.

Instead of reacting, she pulled out her phone and started scrolling The Slap, only speaking to
direct her to the Bayview Cottages. Trina, thankfully, followed her lead without comment,
though she gave Jade a side-eye when she pulled into the parking lot. Jade could see Trina
working her jaw, obviously wanting to say something. Jade rolled her eyes and decided not to
give her the chance to open her mouth, so she hopped out as soon as the seat belt was
undone.

“Jade, wait.” Damn it.

“What?” she responded harshly.

“I just,” Trina started, but stopped and leaned her head back on the headrest. Jade waited for a
moment before huffing and going to shut the door again, this time succeeding. As she started
walking toward her room, she heard the window roll down. “Thank you.”

That stopped Jade in her tracks. She turned and regarded Trina curiously. “For what?”

“Tori. It’s good to have my sister even somewhat back, and not that emotionless robot.”

Jade felt her cheeks heat up. What is it with Vega women praising her? “Whatever. I haven’t
done anything.”

“Yeah, bullshit,” Trina said with that annoying fake cough thing. “You’re weirdly in tune
with what she needs. Like yesterday. She would have kept avoiding Beck and the rest all
summer if you hadn’t forced her to do that video chat.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say Tori was the one you were in love with.”

Jade turned her head and tried to fight the panic rising up in her. Trina was giving voice to
something she, herself, had wrestled with most of the day, almost to the point of distraction.
Dusty had even chided her a couple of times in the kitchen. It had really come into focus
when she reflected back on the video chat, how she kept distracting Tori from freaking out.
She hadn’t even made a conscious decision to do that, it just happened, because she really
was that in tune with Tori.

Yes, she had a crush on Tori and it was still weird to her for many reasons. The chief among
them is that, after years of not acknowledging that part of herself, Jade found herself attracted
to a girl. And, holy fuck, had that opened some floodgates. Now she was acutely aware of
Willa’s rocker girl aesthetic, the way Aspen’s ass looked in jeans, Cat’s damn short skirts she
always fucking wore. Jade hoped that it was just, like, hormonal backwash or something and
it would even out as she adapted to it.

But, yeah, she was definitely…not straight.

It was different with Tori, though. She was gorgeous, yes, even with the buzzed hair and the
scarring. Actually, probably more so with, as the look pushed buttons Jade didn’t know she
had. She had realized after reflection, though, that, beyond her looks, she was drawn to Tori’s
whole being. Her normal damn sunny disposition, the never-say-die attitude, her talent, all of
it. Pre-accident Tori was a day at the beach to Jade’s thunderstorm. And, fuck, was it scary
how much that appealed to her.

“But that’s ridiculous, because you’re in love with me.”

That startled Jade out of her inner-turmoil. She had almost forgotten Trina was there, to be
honest. “Fuck off, Vega.”

“That’s no way to talk to the love of your life.”

“I have scissors.”

“Whatever,” Trina said with a roll of her eyes. “Dream of me.”

Trina waggled her fingers and hit the gas, squealing the tires a little as she peeled off. Jade
tilted her head back and let out a frustrated scream that anyone with a room at the motel
surely heard. She found she didn’t really care, though. It’s not like anyone was really going to
call the cops, considering.

Jade spent the rest of the evening trying to distract herself with video from that evening’s
rehearsal. Thaddeus had, unfortunately, recovered from his temper tantrum at not being
allowed to change the play and was more active with the instruction of the actors. That was
more of a curse than a blessing, as he gave nonsensical advice, including asking Georgie to
play the duenna as a duck. Georgie took Thaddeus at his word and, for the rest of the night,
any scene worked on with him in it, there was quacking.

If Jade edited that part out of the rehearsal video on her Pearbook and uploaded it to The Slap
later on at Tori’s with a caption of “This is what I have to put up with,” none of them were
ever the wiser.

Wednesday morning found her back in the EmPOURium kitchen, hand-mixing some brownie
batter. The mindlessness of the activity gave Jade yet another opportunity to dwell on her
problems and how the hell did she even get here? She was coming up on her senior year. Her
biggest concerns should be filling out college applications and maybe writing and shooting a
short film for her portfolio.

In an ideal world, the gang would all be at Tori’s, because that’s just where they went, and
lounging around the pool in the backyard. Maybe there would be nights at Karaoke Dokie.
Hell, she would even take a Disney trip. Though it would be under extreme protest.

Tori would be there, whole, smiling brightly, probably wearing some ridiculous mouse ears
with an arm hooked through Cat’s, who would look equally stupid. Andre and Beck would be
trying to keep Robbie upright after he went on some ride too soon after eating a bunch of
overpriced food. Jade would trail behind, rolling her eyes in annoyance at everyone but
secretly enjoying every moment of it. She wouldn’t even object if Trina tagged along, as she
seemed wont to do on most of their adventures.

She would get something in return, though, making them visit a haunted asylum or that
abandoned mall she never did get around to checking out. In her mind, Tori would be stuck to
Jade’s side and, with each spooky happening, would grip Jade’s arm tighter in fear. Finally,
Jade would just latch onto her hand, fingers intertwining like they were puzzle pieces
perfectly cut for each other. Tori would give Jade a challenging look, eyebrow raised in that
sexy way that drove her wild, and Jade would lean in...

“I’m pretty sure that batter is mixed as well as it’s going to get.”

Jade started at the sudden intrusion into her fantasy and nearly dropped the mixing bowl. Her
heart thudded loudly in her chest and she struggled for a moment to regain her composure.
Dusty was leaning up against the island work table, apron smudged with various baked goods
and a smirk on his face. Wordlessly, he reached for the bowl, which Jade let go of very
reluctantly, still not fully back to Earth yet.
“That must have been some daydream,” he said as he poured the mixture into a baking pan.
His hands worked swiftly to smooth the batter before walking it over to the oven. “I called
your name three times.”

Jade blinked slowly. “Yeah. Daydream.”

Dusty regarded her for a moment after setting the timer and leaned back against the counter.
“May I ask what’s had you so distracted the last couple of days? I know I don’t know you
that well...”

“Yeah, you don’t, so butt out.” Jade didn’t even realize the words were out of her mouth
before she saw the shock on Dusty’s face, followed quickly by disappointment as he turned
away to collect some dirty dishes. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, folding her
arms around herself protectively.

He meant no harm in his question. Jade knew that. She had been obviously distracted and
that wasn’t usually the case. But the days following the camping trip had obliterated her mind
and, really, it was taking everything she had to keep it together for Tori and the play and her
friends and...

“I’m gay.”

Jade’s eyes widened and she slapped her hands over her mouth. She saw Dusty’s shoulders
tense a little before he put down the bowls in his hand and turned to face her. He kept his
hands on the sink behind him as he leaned back as casually as he could. They regarded each
other for a long moment, which, honestly, did nothing to calm the panic that was rising in
Jade.

Finally, he let out a long breath and said, “Okay. I can tell from the look on your face that you
weren’t planning on saying that, so just know that I am absolutely the last person that will
judge you right now. Consider the kitchen a safe space, Jade. All right?”

She nodded but still didn’t relax. Mentally, she was screaming at herself for the slip. It
wouldn’t have happened if she could just get her mind off Tori and rebury all these damn
feelings and they could go back to the way they were, which, yeah, would kind of suck, but
she could handle friendly rivals, and it would mean Tori wasn’t…

“Jade, honey, you look like you’re about to have a panic attack,” Dusty’s deep voice cut into
her mind’s ramblings. “Come and sit down. That’s it. I’m going to grab a coffee up front for
you and then we can talk if you want, or just wait for the brownies to finish in complete
silence. Whatever you need. Okay?”

At her mumbled agreement, he took off his apron and walked around the corner. Jade spotted
a pair of kitchen shears on a nearby peg board and walked over to grab them. She also
unspooled a length of wax paper before sitting back down on the stool and snipping away.
The nervous habit allowed her to focus past her freak out and onto the sound of the blades
snapping, the way the bits of paper floated to the counter and piled up like brown snowflakes.
Jade wouldn’t call it meditation, exactly, but the mental calmness she sought made it apt.
Dusty came back a few minutes later with two mugs, placing one down in front of her.
“House blend, black. Two sugars.”

At her questioning look, he smiled slightly. “Aspen. I think she has all the regulars’ orders
memorized. How are you doing? And that isn’t all of our wax paper, is it?”

Jade looked down at the pile blankly, then back up at Dusty. “I don’t think so?”

Dusty shook his head and sat down across from her at the work island, hands folded around
his own mug. Jade took a sip of hers, savoring the flavor of the blend. The two sat in silence
long enough that the brownies finished baking. Dusty motioned for Jade to stay put and went
about pulling the tray from the oven. He set them on a cooling rack and retook his stool
across from Jade.

“I’m sorry for snapping,” she mumbled finally, staring at the bottom of her now-empty mug.

Dusty waved it off. “It’s fine. You want to talk about it?”

Jade jerked a shoulder. It wasn’t so much that she didn’t want to talk, Jade just wasn’t sure
which of the two main concerns she wanted to focus on. On the one hand, there was her crush
on her best friend, who happened to be a bit of a basket-case after FUCKING DYING and,
holy fuck, could Jade not handle it if she was the one who broke Tori for good. Then there’s
the homophobic father who controlled Jade’s life because she had nowhere else to turn if she
came out, thanks to her absentee mother who only cared about her little brother.

“That’s…a lot.”

She looked up at Dusty’s words and it sunk in that she had spoken that whole rant out loud.
The tears came soon after, followed by the sobbing. Giant, body-wracking sobs that almost
physically hurt. Jade tried to stem the tide, but it was far too late and she had way too much
built up inside to slow it down. A nudge on her shoulder drew her attention to an offered dish
towel, which she pressed to her eyes. It was even dampened with warm water, which was
much appreciated.

Time lost a little bit of meaning as she cried into that towel. She was vaguely aware of
someone, possibly Aspen, coming back and saying something, but she didn’t register the
words. A hand, big and heavy, was on her shoulder and she immediately shook it off. A few
more moments passed before different, smaller hands gripped her elbows. Jade recognized
the light touch immediately and didn’t feel the repulsion that normally came with unsolicited
contact.

“Jade? What’s…what’s wrong?”

She tried to answer but, as soon as she drew breath, another body-wracking sob escaped.
Words followed, but Jade was fairly certain they weren’t directed at her, as a deeper, but no
less gentle, voice responded. The hands, so soft and so caring, still pulled at her own
insistently, coaxing Jade to her feet.
“Come on, Jade,” the voice, Tori’s, said softly, as if she were whispering in Jade’s ear. “We’re
going to…um…Georgie’s office to, uh, get you some, um, privacy. Just…work with me.”

Jade felt herself nod and began to follow along behind Tori, who hadn’t let go. Her feet felt
leaden and she took slow, awkward steps. The tears hadn’t subsided and Jade had no idea
where they were still coming from. She wondered briefly if she would desiccate, wither, and
die just from crying and what that would feel like.

Quickly enough, though, Jade felt herself being gently shoved into a chair. The dish towel,
now thoroughly soaked with tears, was replaced by a water bottle. A slight push from below
helped guide it to her lips. When the cool liquid splashed the back of her suddenly parched
throat, Jade greedily kept drinking until the bottle went dry. She took a few deep, gasping
breaths and leaned back in the chair, taking stock of where she was.

Georgie’s office wasn’t necessarily that big, with the cheap desk taking up most of the space.
A couple of filing cabinets were placed along the wall to the right of whomever would be at
the desk, a bookshelf to the left. There was a corkboard to Jade’s right, filled with pinned
papers and other things that she didn’t really care to examine that closely. Georgie, himself,
was perched on the edge of the desk, a look of concern on his face that Jade had never really
seen before.

Jade felt a squeeze of her hands and looked down to see Tori knelt before her. The green
beanie was present, as always. It was one of those baggy ones that were stylish. She was also
dressed in a red-and-blue flannel shirt and blue jeans, both still comically large on her. The
glasses on Tori’s face once again seemed to magnify her brown eyes, showing Jade the
concern and worry that she felt at the moment.

A shaky breath escaped as Jade sucked in, testing to see if the sobbing would start again.
“Hey.”

Tori let out a brief laugh. “Hey, yourself. You okay?”

Jade shrugged. “Would you believe me if I said yes?”

“Not really, no.”

“Then, no.”

Dusty cleared his throat and said, “Georgie, hon. Let’s give them some privacy.”

Georgie visibly hesitated. Jade gave him a reassuring nod, which he answered and stood.
Before he left, though, he said, “We’ll be just outside, Jade. I think, considering, today would
be a good day to take off from the play. I’ll handle Thad.”

“Yeah, probably a good idea,” Jade said, her voice shaky. “Thanks.”

He nodded again and followed Dusty out, shutting the door behind him. An echoing silence
fell between the two, Jade taking the time to get herself back under control. Tori ended up
sitting directly on the floor, not letting go of her hands.
After she was sure the tears were finished, at least for now, Jade sniffed and asked, “How
long were you there?”

“Couple of, um, minutes,” Tori said. “Can I…can I ask what,uh, what caused…?”

Jade let out a long, shaky breath. “I don’t know where to start.”

“The beginning is, uh, usually good.”

“Did you just dad joke me, Vega?” Jade asked, disgust plain in her voice.

Tori just waggled her eyebrows with a small grin. “I’ve got worse.”

“Don’t even think about it.”

“How many, um, narcissists does it take to, uh, screw in a lightbulb? One. He holds it, um,
while the rest of the, um, world revolves…around him.”

“God, that was terrible.”

“I’m afraid for that, um, calendar over there. Its days are numbered.”

“Why do you know these?”

“Have you heard about…about the chocolate record player?”

“Don’t finish that.”

Tori grinned even wider. “It sounds pretty sweet.”

Jade groaned. “If I talk, will you stop?”

“Maybe,” Tori said, tapping her chin in thought. “Wait. One more?”

“Tori,” Jade said half-threateningly, half-whining.

Brown eyes, wide and pleading, stared back. “One more. Promise.”

Those damn doe eyes would be the death of her. “Fine.”

Tori bobbed happily from where she was sitting on the floor. “This, um, graveyard looks
overcrowded. People must be, uh, dying to get in.”

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t,” Tori said.

Jade rolled her eyes, though a grin was tugging at the corner of her mouth. “No, I don’t.”

Tori wiggled her eyebrows again and reclaimed Jade’s hands. Her thumbs started lightly
caressing Jade’s knuckles, drawing a small shudder at the contact. “You ready to talk?” Tori
asked.

“Yeah. Just…bear with me.”

“Take your, um, time.”

Jade nodded and took a deep breath. “So, I, um, had a bit of a…re-awakening over the
weekend while camping. About me. And, um, my…preferences.”

Tori frowned. “Preferences? What does that…” Jade could see the moment the realization hit
her. “Oh. Oh! You’re…”

“I hate labels,” Jade cut in softly, not meeting Tori’s gaze. It made it easier this way.

“Fair enough,” Tori said, giving her an understanding smile. “Can I, um, can I ask how you,
uh, figured it out?”

“I kind of knew when I was in eighth grade,” Jade said after a slow breath. “But I repressed
it. Deep down. Way deep down.”

“Why?” Tori asked. Jade looked up and searched her face for judgment, but only found
sincere curiosity.

Jade sighed. “You remember my dad?”

“Sure,” Tori said. “Cold. Judgmental. Really thin nose.”

“Yeah that’s…” Jade trailed off as she pictured her father. “Damn, he does have a really thin
nose.”

Tori laughed lightly and squeezed Jade’s hands. “So, your dad?”

“Right,” Jade said with a nod. “Um, Dad may have walked in on me making out with a
friend. A female friend. Ali. That was her name. And, um, he didn’t react well.”

“Oh, Jade,” Tori said. Her eyes were full of compassion and Jade had to turn away, both out
of embarrassment and because she didn’t want to cry anymore. “What did he, um, do?”

Jade shook her head a little. “There was a lot of yelling. And then he…he threatened to kick
me out if I didn’t ‘forget my abnormality.’ Since mom’s not an option, I repressed.”

Tori nodded and let out a heavy sigh. “God, Jade. I’m so sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?” she asked with a frown. “Dad’s the one who’s the homophobic
dickbag. Unless you have something you need to tell me.”

It had been meant as a joke, but Tori suddenly withdrew her hands and wouldn’t meet Jade’s
gaze. She narrowed her eyes suspiciously and felt a wave of disappointment crash over her.
Sure, Jade was struggling with her own identity, but she still believed everyone else should be
able to live their lives.
Jade had to admit she was a little confused by the other girl's sudden silence. Tori had never
before expressed any views other than support for any of the gay students at Hollywood Arts.
True, Jade had no idea what her parents’ views were, but she couldn’t imagine Holly, at least,
sharing her own father’s views.

“Tori?” She could plainly see the struggle on Tori’s face as she leaned back against the front
of the desk. Jade forced herself to stay calm, though the storm of emotions she had been
riding out that afternoon was threatening to build back up. Instead of screaming, or whatever
impulsive thing came to mind, Jade forced herself to breathe deeply. Her fingers itched for a
pair of scissors, though.

Finally, Tori shifted uncomfortably and said, “This wasn’t…how I, uh, wanted to do this.”

“And how, exactly, did you want to do this?” Jade asked with a bit of an edge to her voice.

“Well, ideally, I was going to, um, test run it by Andre first,” Tori said with a small,
embarrassed smile. “Or, um, possibly wait until…the twenty-year class reunion. Or never.”

Jade let out a slow breath through her nose. “Tori. What. Are you. Talking about?”

“You’re, uh…” she trailed off and abruptly stood. Jade felt the nervous energy rolling off Tori
as she paced the tiny office. “I…that is…you see…I…just…”

Tori stopped and looked up toward the ceiling, letting out a frustrated groan. Jade watched as
she seemed to come to a decision, determination suddenly hardening her face.

“Fuck it.”

Before Jade could make a comment about Tori’s cursing, which she so rarely did, lips crashed
against her own. Jade’s mind short-circuited, going blank as the soft lips held firm against her
own. Her eyes had widened in the shock of the unexpected contact, her body paralyzed
because Holy shit, Tori is kissing me. But then one of them deepened the kiss (it was totally
Tori) and Jade focused only on the lips currently dancing with her own. They tasted vaguely
of chocolate and coffee and…right. The thought had just barely crossed her mind when the
kiss ended abruptly.

Jade stared blankly at nothing, mind reeling. That hateful place in her mind, the one that
sounded so, so like her father, screamed at Jade to deny she enjoyed the kiss and to put
distance between her and Tori. Erect walls so thick she can’t get through, ratchet up the
nastiness she was capable of to drive Tori away. Maybe for good this time. The urge to
protect herself from her father’s wrath was strong and Jade had a hard time fighting it.

But…

The kiss was good. Really good. Fuck, but Tori knew her way around a kiss. Trembling
fingers touched her lips, still tingling from the brief, but intense, contact. A startling thought
flicked through her consciousness; It never felt that good with Beck. This was…this was…

“Fuck.”
“I’m s-so, so, um, sorry, Jade,” Tori said. Jade looked up to see Tori leaning against the wall
on the other side of the desk, seemingly trying to put as much distance between them as
possible. Was she afraid Jade was going to physically lash out? From the look on her face,
Tori was the one now near tears. “I just…my brain locked, um, up. I knew…knew what I, uh,
wanted to say, but it was…just…just s-stuck.”

“Tori,” Jade tried to interrupt, but the other girl either didn’t hear or ignored her.

“And after, um, what you…uh…told me. I shouldn’t have, uh, have done…done that.”

“Tori.”

“I’m really, really, um, sorry. Seriously, I would, um, com-completely understand if you, uh,
didn’t…didn’t want anything to, um…do with…”

Jade rolled her eyes and picked up a purple stress ball that Georgie had on the desk. She
chucked it at Tori, hitting her on the forehead. Tori immediately shut up and blinked, rubbing
the spot where the ball had struck her. At her offended scoff, Jade shrugged. “You looked like
you needed something to help with your anxiety.”

“You could have…have just handed it to me,” Tori said, lips pursed in a pout. Jade did notice
she bent down to pick up the stress ball and started squeezing it in her right hand.

“Yeah, but that wouldn’t have made me feel better,” Jade said with a smirk. Despite being
well aware it wasn’t who either of them were anymore, something about retreating into their
Hollywood Arts roles was comforting. Like a well-worn pair of sweats.

Tori obviously felt the same, because she huffed and said, “Gank.”

“Well aware,” Jade said, leaning forward and clasping her hands as her forearms settled on
her knees. Keeping her eyes on the desk and not Tori, she added, “I’m not mad. Just…really
fucking confused.”

“I didn’t, um, help.”

No, you didn’t. But you weren’t to begin with, so… Thankfully, her inner monologue stayed
that way for once. “It’s just…I’m trying to…I’ve got a lot of baggage from my parents and I
can’t even think about being…y’know, without going all blue screen of death.”

Tori cautiously took a step forward, as if she were afraid of spooking Jade and her bolting
like a rabbit. When Jade didn’t flinch, she lowered herself into the chair at the desk. Jade
couldn’t help but chuckle at the enforced distance Tori kept between them. “Sorry. Again.”

Jade nodded in answer and watched as Tori took her glasses off, looking down at the desktop.
She started rubbing her temples with long fingers, eyes squeezed shut in either pain or
frustration. Jade felt a swell of pity and cleared her throat. “So, uh, you’re also…y’know?”

Tori looked up blearily, a small smile on her (very kissable) lips. Jade felt a surge of…
something that she wasn’t ready to deal with . “Gay, yeah.”
“Like full on?”

Tori hummed in confirmation. “Had a…moment around, uh…Christmas. Kind of, um,
explained a few…few things about why I, uh, had…a hard time…uh…connecting with
boys.”

Jade nodded and leaned back in the chair, feeling a little more steady now that the focus was
off of her. She really hated that she locked up when trying to confront her more-than-platonic
feelings toward Tori. Granted, Tori obviously wasn’t in the best head-space, either, so maybe
it was a good thing neither one of them were ready to talk about the rainbow-colored elephant
waving happily in the corner.

A thought snaked across Jade’s mind. It was traitorous and left her feeling cold as an image
came to the forefront of another time Tori was in a position to kiss someone. Just days before
everything changed, a hidden moment that none involved knew she witnessed. One that she
swore to take to her grave.

“Is that really why you refused to kiss Beck?”

The words were out of Jade’s mouth before she realized it. Immediately, she wished she
could take it back, to rewind time and prevent her broken fucking filter from blurting out the
first thing that came to mind. Tori’s head shot up from the desk, brown eyes narrowed behind
her glasses in confusion and then widened in understanding.

“How…um…how do…how did…Jade?”

Shit. Shit. Shit shit shit shit. I have to answer. Woman up, West.

“Cat left her video chat open,” she answered softly. “I, um, saw. Everything.”

“Oh, crap,” Tori whispered. “Jade…”

She waved her off, keeping her gaze down at the floor. Maybe if she didn’t look at Tori, she
wouldn’t cry. Again. “It’s fine. I get it. You weren’t ready to tell him the truth. I can’t blame
you, really.”

“Jade,” Tori said. There was a huff of frustration, followed by the scuffing of a chair. Tori’s
purple Converse appeared in Jade’s line of sight seconds later, followed by the girl herself
sitting on the floor, forcing their eyes to meet. “I didn’t, um, didn’t lie to him. Gay or straight,
I couldn’t, um…do that to you. I just, uh, left out a, um, small detail.”

“Really?” Jade hated how small her voice sounded at that moment. She felt like a child
asking a parent to reaffirm that Santa Claus was real.

“Promise,” Tori said, adding an ‘x’ over heart for good measure. Jade let out a bark of watery
laughter at the gesture. “Is that why you, um, gave up…y’know? Because you saw…?”

Well, I guess we’re laying out all the cards on the table. “Yeah,” Jade said, fingers finding a
stray thread on her jeans and picking at it. “At the very least, I realized how much of a bitch I
was being.”
“It wasn’t…you weren’t…” Tori sighed from the floor. “I would have…”

“No, you wouldn’t have,” Jade interrupted with an eye roll, knowing where she was going.
“Let’s be honest, Tori. It would never have crossed your mind to steal the Platinum Music
Awards from me.”

Tori’s face fell into a ( stupid sexy ) pout. “You don’t know.”

Jade snorted. “Right. You would have looked me in the eye when Mason offered you the spot
and said yes?”

“Okay,” Tori said, deflating. “Maybe, um, not. I would have, uh…uh…thought about it for a,
um, second, though.”

“Sure,” Jade said, not believing a word of it. Tori’s desire to be a pop singer had always been
counterbalanced pretty heavily by her desire to help those she cared about (and Trina).
Whether they wanted it or not. Or she actually helped or not.

“Oh,” Tori said, perking up and grinning widely. “I, uh, almost forgot the reason I came in.”

“Other than the fact you’re here almost every day, anyway?”

“Well, yeah, okay, uh, that too,” Tori said with a shrug. “Mom said I, uh, can go to karaoke!”

“Wait…what?” Jade blinked. “How did you make that happen?”

“Persistence,” Tori said smugly.

Jade narrowed her eyes. “She insisted on coming, didn’t she?”

Tori huffed. “Yes. But I still, um, get to go, so, Tori, for the win!”

“You are such a dork.”

Laughter greeted that. Tori pushed herself off the floor and nodded toward the door. “Want to
get out of, um, here?”

“Yeah,” Jade said and stood. She paused, though and regarded Tori. There was so much both
of them should be saying. For instance, Jade wasn’t sure if the kiss was really just Tori’s
frustrated way of coming out, or if she was trying to say she liked Jade, specifically. For her
part, Jade wasn’t ready to go there at the moment. Her paternal hang ups hadn’t magically
disappeared because the girl she really, really liked was apparently talented at kissing. Really,
really talented.

Shit, I’m going to end up buying some shrink their first yacht, Jade thought acidly.

At Tori’s confused head tilt, Jade cleared her throat and said, “For the record, we’re not going
to talk about…”
She trailed off and just awkwardly gestured between the two of them. Tori’s eyes widened
and shook her head frantically. “Oh, no. No. I’m not ready for…um…unless you are?”

“God, no,” Jade said and let out the breath she didn’t realize she was holding in. “I’ve got a
lot to sort through before…anything. Give me time to process?”

“Sure,” Tori said and reached out, gripping Jade’s shoulder with a light squeeze. “I do know
a, uh, decent therapist. Oh! We can do, um, joint sessions.”

Jade raised her eyebrow. “You want to do couples therapy?”

“Oh, yeah, no,” Tori said, eyes widening and cheeks blazing in embarrassment. “Let’s just…
forget I said that.”

“Done,” Jade replied quickly. “Oh, and Tori?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for…y’know.”

Tori smiled softly, causing a rush of warmth in Jade. “Anytime.”

 Chapter 7
Chapter Notes

Tori is not okay. Just fair warning.

Thankfully, Jade’s mental breakdown wasn’t mentioned when she came back to the
EmPOURium the next day, outside of a couple of questions from Georgie and Dusty on if she
was okay. It was easy enough to say she was fine and for them to take her at her word; or at
least not push the issue. To her relief, Aspen wasn’t scheduled for Thursdays, so that was a
confrontation she could put off until later. Avoidance, thy name is Jade West.

No, it was rehearsal she was the most worried about, because Willa knew . Georgie and
Aspen both had an idea, but they weren’t in on the conversations with Willa, Dusty, or Tori.
While Tori would, normally, be all about trying to ‘fix’ Jade’s issues, she had enough on her
plate to be worried about Jade. Willa, meanwhile, seemingly had nothing better to do with her
spare time than antagonize Jade.

There was also the unspoken, but mutually understood, attraction that Jade and Tori shared.
At least, Jade hoped it was mutually understood. She replayed their conversation in her head
later that night over and over, realizing that, in their shared awkwardness, they never clarified
what they weren’t ready to talk about. Jade assumed it was the possibility of them dating, but
Tori could have meant coming out to the rest of their friends. Which Jade was also a hard no
on. Not that she didn’t think they wouldn’t be supportive; the more people that knew, the
harder it would be to keep it from her dad. It wasn’t anyone’s business but hers.

And Tori’s. And Willa’s. And Dusty’s. Most likely Georgie and Aspen.

Okay, so that circle was a bit bigger than Jade would have liked.

Work passed quickly enough, though Jade had opened so she was off earlier than usual.
Normally, she would have just stayed at the coffee shop and worked on play stuff or on a
short film idea that had come to her in the middle of a sleepless night a week or so ago. That
day, however, Jade still felt emotionally drained, so she went back to the Bayview and took a
nap. Not even Windi working next door woke her up before her alarm did.

Trina’s car was parked outside her cottage when Jade emerged, feeling somewhat refreshed.
That caught her a little off-guard, as she braced herself for Holly when Tori had texted that
they would pick her up. Both Vega sisters were waiting on the hood of the car and they
couldn’t have looked more different at that moment, at least from their clothing. Trina had
finally adapted to the cooler Oregon weather, though that meant overpriced designer jeans, a
white tank top, a black-and-silver vest, and pink pumps.
Tori, meanwhile, was still in her grunge phase, with a purple flannel shirt and baggy jeans.
Plus the knit hat. The look was working for her, though Jade was beginning to wonder why
all the clothes Tori wore now were big enough to also hide Cat in them. She let it go, though,
when Tori gave her a shy smile and Jade felt her heart speed up.

“Hey,” Tori greeted. “Mom was tied up with work stuff, so she’s going to meet us at the bar
later.”

Jade nodded and joined the sisters against the hood. If she was a bit closer to Tori than she
normally would have been, neither of them acknowledged it. “What does she do, exactly?”

“She’s a financial manager with some aerospace company,” Tori said.

That made sense, actually. Jade didn’t know, exactly, what a financial manager did, but it was
also obvious that the Vegas couldn’t afford the lifestyle they had on only an LA police
officer’s salary. Even if he was higher up on the food chain, which she assumed he was. Their
frequent weekends to “Santa Barbara,” alone, would be costly, much less the house they lived
in and having two children in a private school.

Jade was about to make some comment about Holly’s job that was, most likely, going to be
rude, but something clicked in her head. “Hey! You’re not stuttering.”

Tori’s smile brightened. “It cleared up last night while I was talking with Andre. I didn’t even
realize it at first.”

Trina huffed in annoyance and hopped down from the car hood. “Yeah, great. Tori can talk
again. She hasn’t stopped all day. Are we going or not? If I have to sit through two hours of
boring play practice, I’m going to need snacks.”

“NO,” Jade shouted. At Trina’s glare, she added, “I’ve seen you eat, Vega. You are not
allowed anywhere near that theater with food. Or drinks. Or at all.”

“Or what, Spooky?” Trina said, planting her fists on her hips. “You won’t hurt the love of
your life.”

Jade felt her anger spike and pushed off from the hood. “Want to bet?”

A flash of triumph sparked in Trina’s eyes and Jade didn’t understand why immediately. “So,
you admit it.”

“Admit what, you psycho?”

“That I’m the love of your life,” Trina said with a jab of her thumb at her own chest. Jade felt
her face flush in horror as she realized she walked into a trap. “I knew it! That whole thing
with Beck was obviously him bearding for you. And, of course, you became friends with Tori
to get close to me.”

Jade bit down the rising panic, telling herself that Trina really didn’t know and was just being
Trina . Instead, she let her head loll back as she let out a frustrated groan. “Tori, if I stab your
sister, would you really miss her that much?”
“Eh,” she replied with a flutter of her hand. Trina let out a scandalized cry and went to punch
Tori on the shoulder, but Jade stepped in front to intercept her. It wasn’t the smartest thing
Jade had ever done, as she remembered late that Trina actually was good at karate or
whatever it was she was into. Thankfully, the lesser Vega pulled up short and, instead, just
glared before stomping around the car and slamming the door shut behind her.

“That was sweet,” Windi cut in from behind. Jade squeezed her eyes shut at the intrusion.
Please let the earth swallow me, she thought.

Jade turned and opened her eyes, taking in the older woman. Windi was, thankfully, dressed
down, in a tight University of Oregon T-shirt and sweats. Her hair was pulled back into a
tight ponytail, and she was make-up free. Jade thought she would almost be pretty, if not for
the haggard look in her eyes.

“Windi,” Jade greeted wearily. Beside her, Tori tilted her head and raised that stupid, sexy
eyebrow. Jade tried to tell her to leave it with a look, but, of course, Tori either ignored it, or
didn’t get what she was trying to say.

“Hi, my name’s Tori,” she said, pushing off the hood of the car and extending her hand.
Windi gave her an amused smirk and took the offered handshake. “Do you live here, too?”

That got a bark of laughter from Windi and a groan from Jade. “Oh, no. This is my office.”

Tori frowned. “Your office? I don’t…”

“Okay,” Jade interrupted with a loud clap. “We need to get to rehearsal and Windi needs to
get to…things.”

Windi laughed again as Jade forcefully turned Tori around and pushed her toward the car.
Trina already had the engine going and was pulling out of the Bayview’s parking lot before
either girl had buckled in, causing both to shout at her. Trina just shrugged it off and groped
for her purse in the empty passenger seat.

They were a few blocks away before Tori brought Windi back up. “Was she a maid?”

“What?” Jade asked, not fully listening as she took in the sights along the road into
downtown Astoria.

“That woman back at your motel. Was she a maid? She said it was her office.”

Jade rolled her eyes. “No, Tori. She isn’t a maid.”

Tori frowned. “Does she work the front desk?”

“No.”

“Well, then what does…”

Trina interrupted with a loud groan of frustration. “For God’s sake, Tori! She’s a hooker.”
Tori’s eyes got impossibly wide as she turned to look at Jade. “She’s…she’s a…?”

“Yep,” Jade said with a careless shrug.

“But…but,” Tori stammered. Jade found it kind of adorable how flustered she was. “Isn’t
that, y’know, illegal?”

“So is driving without a license, but Trina’s doing it,” Jade said.

“Hey,” Trina said, turning to look in the backseat. “I have a license.”

The car swerved slightly as she did, and Jade glanced over at Tori, who was suddenly very
pale and visibly shaking. Jade growled and then leaned forward to push Trina’s forehead.
“Then drive like it, you psycho. Eyes front, both hands on the wheel.”

“Don’t tell me how to drive, Spooky.” She did what she was told, though, to Jade’s
satisfaction. She then turned her attention to Tori, who looked frozen almost. Jade could see
the fear in her eyes and the way her lips kept moving, though no sound was coming out. Not
knowing what else to do, Jade unbuckled her seatbelt and scooted closer until her body was
pressed up against Tori’s side. The contact was barely acknowledged, though when Jade pried
the balled fist of her right hand open and laced their fingers together, Tori squeezed hard
enough that Jade winced in pain.

She didn’t complain, though.

Tori had somewhat come down from her internal freakout by the time they had reached the
theater. Jade gave her hand one last squeeze of reassurance and followed her out of the car.
The shuddering breath was about the only sign that Tori wasn’t as okay as she was pretending
to be, though Jade didn’t call her out on it. Instead, she led the way into the theater, proper. A
few people, including Willa, were already there, some reading lines, others just talking while
they sat around in either the audience seats or on some of the prop chairs on stage.

Some of the cast and crew waved to her as she made her way toward the stage, which she
acknowledged with a quick nod of her head. About halfway down the aisle, she turned and
pointed at a chair, looking sternly at Tori.

“Sit.”

Tori frowned. “I’m not a dog, Jade.”

Her voice was still plainly shaky, though, and she didn’t argue further when Jade just raised
her eyebrow in challenge. “I’m sitting because I want to,” Tori said petulantly.

Jade couldn’t help the small chuckle that came out. “Fine. Do what you want.”

At that, she turned on her heel and made her way to the stage. Thankfully, Trina stayed
behind with Tori, otherwise Jade may have committed a couple of felonies. Willa waved as
she approached and hopped down from the stage. Jade could see the concern on her face and,
yeah, Aspen had told her about the panic attack.
“Hey,” Willa greeted with much more reserve than usual. “You okay?”

Jade waved her off. “I’m fine. I need a favor.”

“Depends,” Willa said cautiously. “If you’re going to ask me to bury a body, I need
reassurance you won’t bury mine next to it.”

“Distract Tori,” Jade said with an eye roll. “I need to talk to her asshole sister.”

Willa glanced back at the Vega sisters. “Does it have anything to do with why Cheekbones
looks like she’s seen a ghost?”

“Yes,” Jade growled, ignoring the use of the nickname.

“Kellis, toss me my book,” Willa called up to the stage. Kellis didn’t even blink before
complying, passing off her copy of the script for Cyrano. The two women made their way
back up the aisle to where Tori and Trina were waiting, the latter of whom was already
looking bored and ready to leave.

“Hey, Cheekbones,” Willa said as they got closer. Tori gave a half-hearted chuckle, not
finding the nickname near as offensive as Jade did, apparently. “They’re working on scenes
I’m not in today, so I need someone to run lines with. Care to help?”

“Me?”

Willa shrugged and said, “Why not? Jade says you’re not a half-bad actress.”

Tori’s eyes slid to Jade and she raised that damn eyebrow. “Did she?”

“I admit to nothing,” Jade said and folded her arms across her chest defiantly. She was
pleased to note that Tori's voice sounded a little steadier than it had even a few minutes ago,
though she still looked tense.

Trina sighed heavily and said, “I’m bored. I’m going to go do…anything else.”

“I’ll walk you out,” Jade said sweetly. That got a sharp look from Tori that she ignored.

The lesser Vega, however, didn’t seem to catch the obvious warning sign and shrugged. The
pair made their way back out to the lobby, which Jade did a quick check to make sure was
empty. Just before they reached the doors, she reached out and yanked Trina’s arm back
around to face her.

The murderous look on her face that must have been on her face stalled out any protest from
Trina. “I’m only saying this once, psycho. You ever, and I mean ever , drive like that again
with Tori in the car, we will have a discussion you won’t enjoy.”

Trina gave a scoff. “I don’t…”

“Did you even notice how close she was to a full freak out?” Jade interrupted. She stepped
closer into Trina’s personal space so that their noses were nearly touching. The older girl
flinched back a step, but didn’t completely cower.

“Like you know what that looks like,” Trina said with a bit of a sneer. “You haven’t been
around when she goes full basket case.”

Jade growled. “I know that she can barely stand being in a car at all. I know that all it takes is
one wrong word and the waterfall starts. I know that she’s desperately trying to pretend that
she’s fine, when she plainly isn’t. And I know that she’s probably the strongest person I’ve
ever met, because I would have fucking caved in on myself having to deal with what she’s
going through.”

Trina blinked in surprise and took a couple more steps back, though this time not out of a
need to put more space between the two. Jade could see the contemplative look on the
normally vapid face before her. A weird feeling rolled over her; it was a vulnerability, like
she had somehow just bared her soul and Trina was seeing who she really was deep down.

Jade didn’t like it. She didn’t like it at all.

“Holy chiz,” Trina breathed. “I was kidding the other day, but you really are, aren’t you?”

“I really am what, Vega?” Jade bit out.

“In love with Tori.”

She felt like Trina had just punched her in the gut and driven the air from her lungs. Jade
opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. How? How was she this Goddamn
transparent all of the sudden? It used to be a point of pride for Jade that no one could really
tell what she was thinking at any given time, though she did have moments where she wished
Beck had been able to during their time dating.

But now people she barely knew were able to read her like a book. Worse, it seemed, a
children’s picture book, because adult books at least had subtlety. Jade, apparently, was
walking around with a damn neon sign above her head that said, ‘I’m In Love With Tori
Vega, Ask Me How.’ At least none of their friends were around. Andre and Beck, especially,
wouldn’t even need five minutes to figure her out. And then there would be disappointed
looks and lectures and…

A sharp stinging on her cheek. What?

Stunned, Jade rubbed her cheek, feeling the afterburn of a slap? She narrowed her eyes and
looked up to see a very smug Trina a few steps away. She shrugged and said, “You looked
like you needed that.”

“You…” Jade trailed off and lunged forward, but Trina danced out of the way. She was
surprisingly agile.

“Easy, there, lover girl,” Trina said. She held up her hands in surrender before Jade could
advance again. “Look, Spooky, I know my reputation, but I do love my sister and she, for
whatever reason, likes you and wants you around. So, in the interest of protecting someone
we both care a lot about, how about we do a ceasefire?”

Jade let out a huff and folded her arms across her chest. “Ceasefire. Right. Because we’re
capable of getting along.”

“I didn’t say we had to suddenly be besties,” Trina said with a huff of annoyance. “But how
about we agree to keep it away from Tori?”

Jade considered that for a long moment before giving a sharp nod. “Fine. But I was serious
about the driving. Don’t ever do that fucking shit again.”

Trina frowned. “Was she really…?”

“Yes,” Jade cut in. “When you swerved, I’m pretty sure she had a flashback to the wreck.”

“Shit,” Trina said under her breath. “She’s been so close to Tori lately that I guess I let myself
forget. Mom’s gonna kill me.”

Jade nodded in agreement. While normally, she would take great joy in ratting Trina out, just
to see the chaos that would result, she didn’t feel like that was worth the probable pain it
would cause Tori. Plus, Jade thought she knew Holly well enough by then to know that
Mother Vega would be able to tell what had happened just by looking at her daughters.

After agreeing that Trina really should leave, since Willa hadn’t quite forgotten the boob job
comment from earlier in the week, rehearsal went fairly smoothly. Even Thaddeus was only
his annoying self a handful of times. Willa and Tori stayed huddled together, though Jade was
certain they didn’t run lines for the whole two hours. Tori did, however, look much more
collected by the time they wrapped up at just before seven.

Willa waved as Jade approached once they called it a night and said, “I gotta get to the bar.
We’ll see you in a bit?”

“Yeah,” Jade said. “Just got to wait for the other Vega to come back.”

“She has a name, you know,” Tori said after Willa left, her laughter trailing behind.

Jade just shrugged as they made their way out of the theater, making sure that all the doors
were properly secure. She turned around after locking the outer doors to find Tori leaning
against a parking meter, not putting any weight on her right leg and wincing in pain. Jade
frowned in question when she caught Tori’s attention.

“My knee,” she said. “It still aches.”

“Don’t you have, like, physical therapy or something you’re supposed to do?”

That got an embarrassed blush. “I haven’t…exactly kept up with it. And before you say
anything, I know. That’s why Cindy wanted me to start taking short walks along the beach.”

“So it’s not just to help your online dating profile?” Jade asked with a smirk.
Tori laughed. “No. Gank.”

They grew quiet as they waited for Trina to come back from wherever the hell she had gotten
to. Jade could feel Tori studying her and shifted slightly under the scrutiny. “What?”

Tori shrugged. “It’s just…that would have been a perfect time for the 1940s movie star
voice.”

In truth, it hadn’t even occurred to Jade. Instead of admitting that, though, she deflected.
“You really miss Sweet Sally Peaches that much?”

“Kind of, yeah,” Tori said with a small smile. “It’s something normal. It’s…us, I guess.”

Us. That was a loaded word now. Tori seemed to realize it, as well, because she blanched a
little and awkwardly turned to the street to watch for Trina. Jade was thankful when the lesser
Vega finally showed up, going on about some boutique she found with the cutest shoes. Or
clothes. Possibly lamps. She didn’t really pay that close of attention, but the distraction from
the tension between her and Tori was welcome. Even if they were still both sitting side-by-
side in the backseat.

Jade pulled up the directions that Willa had texted to the bar, which really just consisted of
simply, ‘Off West Marine Drive by the Megler Bridge. You’ll know it when you see it.’

“What the hell does that mean?” Trina complained as she made her way along the road in
question. “There’s, like, a million places to eat along here.”

“I think that’s it,” Tori said and leaned forward, tapping Trina’s shoulder and pointing to a
sign just down the road. Jade followed where she was indicating and, damn it.

The bar was called Rex’s.

All three girls stared blankly for a long moment after Trina parked, none of them exiting the
vehicle. Finally, Jade sighed and said, “If that fucking puppet is behind the bar, we are
leaving the state.”

“How does Willa even know about Rex?” Tori asked as she swung open the door. Jade and
Trina followed suit slowly.

Jade groaned. “Fucking camping.”

Both Vegas gave her looks that reminded Jade, despite their differences, they were still
sisters. “Drunk Jade has a hard time keeping her mouth shut,” she answered the unspoken
question.

“How have I never seen you drunk?” Tori asked with that damn eyebrow raised.

Jade tried to feign nonchalance, though she wasn’t sure how successful she was. “Who says
you haven’t?”
Tori’s nose scrunched up adorably as she obviously started playing back the few parties they
had been to together. There hadn’t been many; that wasn’t really Jade’s scene, with all the
people and loud (mostly terrible) music and cheap, shitty beer in kegs. Beck, social butterfly
that he was, loved them, so she was dragged along to a few during their relationship. Not
without loud complaints that led to fights, but she still went.

“Okay, I give,” Tori said, breaking into Jade’s thoughts. “When?”

She considered leaving Tori hanging, but decided to magnanimously throw her a bone.
“Kenan Thompson’s.”

Tori’s eyes nearly bugging out was worth the revelation. “Wait, seriously?”

Jade gave an exasperated sigh. “Tori, I willingly gave you a piggyback ride. Is that something
you see me doing sober?”

“Oh.”

Jade laughed at the stunned look on Tori’s face and followed Trina inside, since the lesser
Vega decided not to wait for them. Her eyes slid immediately to the right, where the bar was,
and noted that Rex wasn’t, in fact, bartending. From the exhale beside her, Tori had
apparently done the same thing. Jade took a moment to look around the rest of the area,
finding it more brightly lit than she was expecting. Her perception of a bar, however, may
have been skewed by a certain bouncer movie.

Everything was done in a light wood, from the walls to the tables and booths. It helped a lot
with the illusion of a brightly lit room. Various pictures of Astoria and knickknacks dotted the
walls. A stage was opposite the entrance, with a DJ booth stage right and big speakers hung
on either side. For tonight, a karaoke monitor was set up center-stage and someone was
already butchering Journey on the mic.

A big shadow fell over the three of them as they stood in the entrance, trying to figure out
where to sit. They all turned to find Scott towering over them, eyes slightly hidden behind the
ever-present cowboy hat. To anyone else, it might have been a little menacing, and Jade was
sure it would be to someone being a dick in the bar, but she also knew how big of a teddy
bear he could be.

“Howdy, partner,” she chirped with the Sweet Sally Peaches voice. Tori gave an offended
scoff behind her that had Jade rolling her eyes and turning back to her. “When you’re ready,
Tori. And not a moment before.”

Scott grunted and said, “Willa said you’re to sit over there. And order the buffalo burger.”

Jade followed where he gestured to an open high-top table at the back of the room. It was out
of the way and not as crowded as the front of the bar near the stage was bound to get. Perfect,
really, considering she wasn’t convinced this was at all a good idea. Jade nodded her thanks
and made to move that way when Trina slid forward with what was probably meant to be a
flirty smile.
“No,” Jade growled and grabbed her arm, dragging the older girl away. She didn’t bother to
check if Tori followed, but assumed she did after first apologizing to Scott for her sister. It
was just a very Tori thing to do.

Trina finally wrenched her arm from Jade’s grasp as they reached the indicated table, which
seemed almost too big for three, eventually four, people. “What is your problem, Spooky? I
thought you were into…”

“My problem,” Jade interrupted, casting an eye to where Tori had lagged behind enough that
she couldn’t readily overhear her dumbass sister. “Is that Scott is kind of cool and dating
someone also kind of cool, so he doesn’t need to be subjected to your eau de désespoir. ”

“Did you just insult me in German?” Trina asked, eyes narrowed and hands on her hips.

“No, Vega, I didn’t just insult you in German,” Jade said with a frustrated sigh.

“Oh, okay, then…”

“I insulted you in French.”

Trina scoffed as Tori joined them finally at the table, taking a spot facing the stage. “I thought
we were doing a ceasefire because of…you know who.”

Tori paused as she tried to get settled in the stool. “Treen, if you’re trying to hide the fact
you’re talking about me, maybe don’t point at me. And what’s this about a ceasefire?”

“It was decided that we would try to keep our arguing to a minimum while you’re around,”
Jade answered, not taking her glare from Trina.

Tori slid her eyes between the other two girls before snorting. “Good job.”

“It’s a work in progress,” Jade said, hopping up in the stool to Tori’s right and scooting up to
the table.

Jade idly picked up a menu that was on the table and started looking through it. Normal bar
food, nothing special. Though the buffalo burger did catch her eye. It wasn’t a burger lathered
in buffalo wing sauce, but made from bison meat. After deciding on her order, she leaned her
forearms on the table and listened to the Vega sisters bicker lightly over whatever. Jade
wasn’t really paying that close of attention, though she thought it might be over what song
Trina was going to murder for karaoke.

It wasn’t long before Willa made herself known, bringing five waters to the table. “Hello! My
name is Willa and I’ll be serving you this fine evening. Our special is grilled salmon on a bed
of wild rice. If you’d like to sing something, D.J. Spinz-A-Lot will put your name down on
the list.”

Jade raised her eyebrow and even Tori was giving her a confused look. “What are you
doing?”
With a smile that didn’t quite meet her eyes, Willa leaned forward and pointed at the menu.
“So, the boss’s boss is here tonight and he’s a dick. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s got a
stopwatch on me right now. Just roll with it until he gets bored and leaves.”

“Fine,” Jade said after a groan. “Buffalo burger.”

“Excellent choice, ma’am,” Willa said brightly, and slightly louder than necessary. Tori
ordered a chicken wrap, while Trina went with wings, which Jade was already dreading
having to watch be consumed. Trina Vega was many things, a disgusting eater chief among
them.

Jade felt Tori nudge her in the side as Willa turned to leave. A nod of her head toward a
severe looking man in an ill-fitting suit and closely cropped hair revealed he did, indeed, have
a stopwatch out. Jade could see Willa’s shoulders tense up from across the room as the man
said something to her.

“What a jerk,” Tori muttered and Jade found herself nodding along. After he finished
whatever he was saying to Willa, he turned his attention to another of the servers, who looked
like she was about to start crying.

A loud thump and the sound of a stool being dragged across the floor startled them and they
both jumped a little. Jade turned to find Aspen and Susan both pulling up stools, having
dropped their bags on the table first. Aspen was definitely dressed for a bar in a T-shirt and
jeans, though Susan looked like she came from working at a bank, as she was in a cream-
colored blouse and slacks. Her black hair was curled into waves and the makeup she had on
made her look older than twenty-three.

“Don’t you have friends your own age to hang out with?” Jade said in lieu of a greeting.

Aspen shrugged. “This is our normal table. You’re the ones trespassing. Jade. Cheekbones.
Cheekbones’ sister.”

Jade sighed and turned to Tori. “You know Aspen. That’s Susan, she’s Billy’s girlfriend. He’s
the banjo player that can dunk. Susan, Tori.”

“Hey,” Trina exclaimed. “What about me?”

“What about you?”

“Aren’t you going to introduce me?”

“No.”

“Gank,” Trina said loudly and excused herself to go sign up for a song. Aspen and Susan
both settled in, with Willa coming back quickly and repeating the awkward, over the top
greeting. The two newcomers both looked at each other and started laughing, leaving Willa to
grumble and walk off, having taken their orders.

Aspen shook her head as they watched the uptight douchebag boss pounce on Willa again as
soon as she got to the bar. “God, I hate it when Stevie is here. Everyone’s on edge. I bet
Danny has been pounding the antacids like they were candy.”

“Does he come in often?” Tori asked.

Aspen shook her head. “Like, once every six months. Basically, he wants to play owner for a
night, before he fucks back off to wherever he goes.”

“I’m kinda glad Ashley and Nick had dinner with her parents,” Susan said. At Jade’s
questioning eyebrow raise, she added, “Ashley used to work here, too. She quit during a
Stevie visit. Loudly. With a lot of cursing. A lot of cursing.”

“Where’s Billy?” Jade asked. She was somewhat surprised by her own curiosity, as she
wasn’t super close with either him or Nick, or even Susan and Ashley, for that matter. It was
weird seeing Susan without her very large shadow, though.

She made an annoyed sound in the back of her throat. “LAN party.”

“A…what?”

“Nerd thing,” Susan said with something of a growl in her voice. Jade shrugged and backed
off, not really caring enough to press.

Willa came by with a tray of drinks after a few moments, handing Susan a large margarita
glass filled to the brim. She took a long drink out of it and sighed. “That’s the stuff, right
there.”

“Bad day?” Willa asked just low enough that Stevie the Dick would have had to have been
standing at their table to hear.

“The fucking worst,” Susan said with a dramatic groan. “Seriously, girls, never leave high
school. Being an adult sucks.”

Tori mumbled something that Jade didn’t quite catch over a Ginger Fox song. The singer was
doing a passable job, though she felt Cat would have killed it. “What was that?”

“I may not ever leave, if I can’t get caught up,” she said louder. Her cheeks went red in
embarrassment.

Jade raised an eyebrow. “They’re making you finish your classes?”

“It was a compromise,” Tori said heavily. “It was either try to get everything done this
summer and make up the three months I missed or repeat the semester. I’ve got so much to
do, but I’ve had some…issues focusing enough to do any of the make-up assignments. And
then there’s Sikowitz. His assignment is just ‘act somewhere and email me a video.’”

“Well, that one is easy,” Jade said. “I can probably find a background player part for you on
Cyrano. As for the rest, between Trina and me, we can probably get you through it.”

Tori smiled wide and threw her arms around Jade’s neck, taking her off guard. She felt the
heat climb her cheeks as she awkwardly returned the embrace and turned her head, which is
when she remembered that they weren’t alone. Aspen was doing her damnedest to keep her
face straight, though Susan was openly grinning at the scene. Even a glare at her couldn’t get
the smile off her face. When Tori finally relented, Jade realized her shirt was wet at the
shoulder.

She turned to Tori and leaned into her closely to whisper. “Happy tears?”

That got a vigorous nod. “I can’t stop, now. Oh, God, this is kind of embarrassing.”

Jade smirked. “On a scale of one to ‘dumping ravioli down a national hero’s pants,’ where
does this rank?”

“Shut up,” Tori choked out, though it was with a small laugh. “And a four. Pushing five.”

Susan’s eyes widened and she snapped quickly. “Holy shit. I recognize you now. Holy shit.”

Aspen frowned at Susan and then at Tori. “I’m missing something.”

“Dude,” she said, slapping Aspen on the shoulder. She turned to Tori, who’s eyes were wide
in shock, even as the tears kept falling. “You're the chick that performed at the…”

“Susan,” Jade cut in. Her hand slipped under the table to grasp Tori’s. The grip in response
was tight, but it wasn’t as desperate as earlier in the car, which made Jade feel slightly more
relaxed. “Shut. Up.”

That got her attention, as Jade hadn’t really gone full Jade West with any of them, but she
tapped into that well of anger to get her point across. Susan blinked and really looked at Tori,
who, because it’s Tori, just gave her a shy smile. Thankfully, Susan was a smart one and
pivoted quickly.

“Sorry,” she said with a small, apologetic smile. “You were fantastic. And Aspen was right,
your cheekbones are amazing.”

“Thanks,” Tori said around a watery laugh. She wiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt
and let out a long breath. “That night is, um, complicated. I’d rather not talk about it, if you
don’t mind.”

“No problem,” Susan said. Aspen was still confused, if her bewildered look was anything to
judge by. Jade had to wonder at that. Tori was kind of everywhere in the week or so leading
up to the Platinum Music Awards. The ravioli video, alone, had gone viral by several million
views. Honestly, the fact that neither Willa nor Aspen had ever put two-and-two together was
a minor miracle, considering the amount of time they spent around Tori. Jade had never
outright volunteered the information, but she had thought it was pretty obvious. She did
admit she was a little too close to see clearly, though.

Thankfully, the subject was dropped with the arrival of their food, carried in waves by Willa.
She plastered on her fake smile as she stood at the head of the table and asked, “Is he still
watching?”
Tori rested her head in her palm so that she was supposedly looking at Willa. “Nope. He’s
yelling at some guy with gauges in his ears behind the bar.”

“That would be Danny,” Willa said, letting the smile fall with a sigh of relief. “Stevie is being
really dickish tonight. Not sure what his deal is.”

“Maybe he needs to get laid?” Aspen offered.

Willa snorted. “Not it.”

“Well, no one else at this table is available,” Susan said with a smirk. “If anyone is going to
have to throw themselves on that sword, it’s gotta be you.”

“Well,” Jade said slowly as an idea came to her. “I can think of someone…”

Tori cut in almost immediately. “We are not using Trina like, like…”

“Like Windi with two ‘i’s?’”

“Jade!” Tori slapped her shoulder. “And yes, exactly. We’re not using Trina like your
neighbor.”

Susan sputtered around the mouthful of alcohol. “You live in the Bayview? Seriously?”

Jade shrugged. “It’s not that bad.”

“I have…” Susan started, but Jade cut her off.

“I’m fine where I’m at.” Out of the corner of her eye, Jade saw Tori open her mouth and she
shook her head. “I’m fine.”

“Yeah, don’t bother,” Aspen said, tipping her beer toward Susan in a salute.

Willa nodded in agreement. “Everyone has tried to get her out of there. She won’t budge.”

“She is probably the most stubborn person I’ve ever met,” Tori said, though she softened it
with a small, teasing smile and a bump of their shoulders. The mention of the Platinum Music
Awards seemed to have been shrugged off easily enough, which seemed like it was good
news.

Jade scowled. “I’m not stubborn.”

“Jade, if you were a river, you would be de Nile ,” Tori said with a grin and an
overexaggerated wiggle of her eyebrows.

That got a round of groans at the table. “You’re the worst,” Jade said.

Whatever follow up dad joke that Tori was about to follow up with was cut off by the
announcement of the next attempt at karaoke. “Hey, hey, it’s DJ Spinz-A-Lot,” the voice of
the DJ echoed over the loudspeakers. “Up next, we’ve got the fabulous Ms. Trina Vega
making her Rex’s famous karaoke debut.”

Willa turned around and said, “This ought to be terrible.”

“Hey,” Tori exclaimed. “You’ve never heard her sing.”

Jade shook her head fondly. “Tori, it’s okay to admit your talentless sister is, in fact,
talentless.”

“She’s not entirely…” Tori began but trailed off as “Rolling in the Deep” started up. “Oh. No,
Trina. No.”

Jade knew it was going to be a typical Trina performance just from the way she cleared her
throat. When the screeching started, both Tori and Jade winced in pain from the assault on
their ears. Aspen and Susan, who had never really been exposed to Trina, both stared in
disbelief at the stage. Willa just shook her head and walked off to check on another of her
tables before Stevie could start screaming at her again. Jade glanced around at the rest of the
people trying to enjoy the evening and wasn’t disappointed to see so many horrified stares at
the stage.

“I feel I should find a way to contact Adele and apologize,” Tori said, a mixture of
amusement and embarrassment on her face. She spoke low enough that Jade realized she
meant the comment for her and her alone.

Jade huffed a quiet laugh. “You know the saddest thing?”

Tori shook her head and Jade said, “She’s going to end up more famous than anyone else at
Hollywood Arts.”

“How do you figure?” Tori asked before taking a sip of her Wahoo Punch.

Jade scooped up her buffalo burger and gestured angrily at the stage with it. “That is exactly
the kind of delusional idiot that thrives on reality TV. She’ll do one season of some dating
show and get a spinoff that runs for-fucking-ever.”

Tori blinked and watched her sister continue to butcher the song for a moment, complete with
an awkward dance routine that looked more like someone who had read a description of
dancing, before saying, “Damn it.”

“Language, Tori,” Jade said in an impression of Holly that she knew was nearly dead-on.

Tori’s face scrunched up in disgust. “Jade, never, ever, do that again.”

“What’s the matter, Tori? Don’t want to call me mommy?”

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Jade felt gross. From the look on Tori’s face,
she agreed, and she actually backed up a little to put some distance between them.
Thankfully, neither Susan nor Aspen were paying them any attention, as enthralled as they
were with how bad Trina was.
Jade cleared her throat and awkwardly said, “Can we just…”

“Already forgotten.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

“You two look like that time I woke up naked next to my chemistry partner,” Susan’s voice
cut into their awkward stare down. They both jumped at the sudden intrusion, having
completely forgotten they were in a crowded bar. Jade schooled her features quickly, the only
sign of her discomfort the turn of her head from Tori. She was proud of her poker face; it let
her be nearly unbeatable at card nights at the Vegas’. The only person she could never best
was Trina. She was convinced that was because the lesser Vega knew nothing about strategy,
which made her tough to read.

On the other hand, Tori had a difficult time keeping her emotions under control even before
the accident. Sure, she had withdrawn into herself after the wreck, becoming the emotionless
robot Trina accused her of being. Since Jade screamed at her the week before, and especially
since she got back from LA, it felt like Tori’s emotional spigot was stuck on full. Jade could
practically feel the heat coming off her face without looking. Susan might not read anything
into it, not really knowing anything about their situation. Aspen would probably pick up on it.
If she happened by, Willa definitely…

“Why is Cheekbones lit up like a stoplight?”

Damn it.

“Willa, drop it,” Jade hissed desperately.

Unfortunately, Willa didn’t listen. A glint appeared in her blue eyes, followed by a slow
smile. “Jade. Is there something you’d like to share with the class?”

“No.”

Willa narrowed her eyes and then turned to the rest of the table. “Asp? What did I miss?”

“Aside from the Sister of Cheekbones absolutely destroying my desire to ever hear Adele
again?” Aspen asked. “Not sure. They were whispering, then they were staring at each other
like they had been caught making out by one of their parents.”

That hit way too close to home for Jade’s comfort. Her fight or flight was kicking into
overdrive, and, at that moment, she was leaning toward ‘fight.’ Just before she let loose with
a tirade that would have drawn the attention of everyone at the bar, a hand was suddenly on
her thigh, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Jade’s eyes slid to the left, trying not to give too
visible a reaction, and she could see Tori stiffly trying not to react, as well. Her anger
dissipated a little, though she was still twitchy and uncomfortable.

Someone up there hated Jade West, because Trina picked that moment to come back to the
table. “You Oregon people just don’t appreciate talent…Tori, why do you look like you spent
six hours in a tanning bed?”

Jade groaned and glared at Tori. “Remember a couple of weeks ago, when you had trouble
showing emotion?”

Tori frowned. “Yeah?”

“Those were good times.”

That got an offended 'well,' but, thankfully, no more tears. Jade turned to the others and
leveled her best glare. “It’s none of your business.”

“You’re my mentee,” Willa said pompously. “That makes it my business. I have to make sure
no one is leading you astray.”

“You’re not my mentor,” Jade said with a scowl.

“Stop fighting it,” Willa said. Her eyes lit up and a huge smile grew on her face. “I know how
we resolve this.”

Aspen groaned. “Wills, no.”

“She’s not going to…” Susan began.

“Yeah,” Willa said with a waggle of her eyebrows. “Yeah, I am.”

“Dude, not with Stevie here,” Aspen said. “He will fire you.”

Jade and Tori exchanged confused looks. “What are you talking about?” Jade asked.

“Blind karaoke challenge,” Willa, Aspen, and Susan said simultaneously, though with
differing levels of enthusiasm.

“Blind…what?”

“Blind karaoke challenge,” Willa repeated as she bobbed on the balls of her feet. “It’s a Rex’s
tradition.”

“It’s not when your very tightwad owner is in the building,” Susan said. She emphasized her
words with a punch on Willa’s shoulder. “You know he hates the challenge.”

“What’s involved?” Tori asked.

“You sing a randomly selected song that you don’t know until the music starts,” Willa said
with a tone that suggested this was the greatest idea ever. “If you’re able to successfully sing
it without needing the words on the screen behind you, any food you order is on the house.”

“That’s it?” Jade asked.

Willa grinned. “Yep. You in, West?”

“What’s in this for you?”

“When you have to take a peek at the screen, and you will,” Willa said. “You’ll spill why you
and Cheekbones look like you were picked for Seven Minutes in Heaven at a seventh grade
party.”

“Fuck’s sake,” Jade breathed. Beside her, Tori hadn’t stopped blushing since Susan had called
them out and she was starting to worry that Vega was going to combust.

“I’ll do it,” Trina said. As one, everyone turned and shouted ‘no!’ “Rude.”

The lesser Vega stomped off, leaving her buffalo wings untouched. Willa shook her head and
said, “It’s either you or Cheekbones. But one of you is singing.”

Jade once again exchanged glances with Tori, who had gone from bright red to ghostly in a
heartbeat. The look of terror on her face left Jade saying, “Fine. I’ll do your stupid challenge.
And then I’m ordering all of the mozzarella sticks. All of them.”

“Excellent,” Willa said. She clapped her hands and motioned for Jade to follow. When they
reached the stage, Willa jumped up to talk to the DJ, who gave her a look and said something
Jade couldn’t hear over the bar crowd. Finally, Willa slid up to the microphone and said,
“Good evening Rex’s!”

A cheer erupted from the gathered. Jade raised her eyebrow and turned her attention back to
the stage. “Tonight, we have a brave soul that thinks she’s up for Rex’s Famous Karaoke
Challenge!”

That got an even bigger cheer, as well as an angry, “WHAT?” from what Jade assumed was
Stevie. Willa gave a big grin and motioned for the crowd to quiet down. Jade chanced a
glance at where she thought Stevie was standing while Willa repeated the rules for the bar
crowd and, Oh, that vein is definitely trying to burst out of his temple.

“Now, as the regulars know,” Willa continued. “We have not had a winner in Rex’s Famous
Karaoke Challenge in two years.”

“Oh,” Jade breathed. She looked back at Tori, who shot her a small shrug and mouthed, ‘You
got this.’ She wished she shared Vega’s confidence.

“Jade West, come on up!”

She took a deep breath and stepped up onto the stage. “Challenger, are you ready? Don’t
bother answering, I don’t care,” Willa said to laughter. “DJ Spinz-A-Lot, randomize her!”

Before Willa stepped off the stage, she leaned in and whispered, “Good luck. When you mess
up, you’re going to tell me all about how you and Tori made out.”

Jade leveled her with a glare, though she felt her cheeks heat up. “Not gonna happen.”

“But you did make out,” Willa said with a triumphant grin. “That wasn’t a denial.”
Jade didn’t get a chance to respond before cheesy casino slot machine sound effects came
through the speakers. It felt like it would never end, either, and Jade was getting more and
more nervous for her song, figuring it was going to be something completely obscure that she
had never heard of or something in a foreign language. After all, these things were always
rigged for the house.

Laughter bubbled up, then, when the moronic DJ finally hit play and the opening riff of
Paramore’s “Misery Business” came through. She shot Willa an evil grin and then a bigger,
more genuine one to Tori in the back. Both of them knew immediately that she had this in the
bag. Of course, she knew Paramore. It was a gateway band to the harder punk stuff she had
come to love as she had gotten older.

She ripped the mic out of the stand and whipped her hair in a head banging motion before
launching into the first verse. A cheer rang out in the bar, though Jade tuned them all out and
focused on her performance. Her voice was strong, of course, but she owned the stage as
well, moving about and singing to random people at the tables nearby. Not that she registered
any faces, really. They were just fleshy blobs as she put her whole soul into the song. She did
make sure to never turn around toward the big screen, however.

Willa was going to regret trying to mess with her. So many mozzarella sticks. And Tori’s
dinner. Holly’s, as well, when she got there. Maybe the lesser Vega’s, though Jade was half
tempted to make her pay her own way. Just on principle.

As she belted out the last “It just feels so good,” Jade made sure to look straight at Willa. She
also flipped off the screen with her free hand, which got a huge cheer from the crowd. The
DJ, whose ridiculous name Jade refused to even think, started shouting about a new winner
and praising the performance. He rushed forward, reaching for her hand, presumably to raise
it, but Willa intercepted and pushed him back to the booth.

Jade took a bow before hopping down from the stage. Willa followed and gave her a small
grin. “You got lucky.”

“Don’t be a sore loser,” Jade said as they made their way to the bar so she could get some
water. “You owe me mozzarella sticks. And buffalo nuggets. And Tori’s dinner.”

Willa shook her head and started to say something when the DJ spoke out again. “All right,
all right. Next up, Tori Vega. She swears she’s not as bad as her sister.”

Jade snapped her head up to the stage in shock. There was no fucking…but, yet, there Tori
was, timidly making her way onto the stage. Jade had a sudden flash of memory back to the
first time she had ever laid eyes on Tori, at the Big Showcase that had been her impromptu
audition to Hollywood Arts.

Jade had barely been paying attention that night, only in the audience at all because it was a
requirement to attend from one of her teachers. She’d had to fill out a worksheet about details
of each act to prove she was there. When the then-unknown Tori was shoved out on the stage,
looking completely awkward in a dress that wasn’t meant for her and with obviously no idea
what she was doing, Jade assumed it was going to be a trainwreck and perked up. She loved
trainwrecks, both the people and the literal versions.
And then it wasn’t.

It was actually pretty damn good. Not that she ever said as much to anyone.

As Tori stood there in the here and now, however, Jade wasn’t rooting for the trainwreck. She
was praying, actually, for this to not blow up in their faces. A sudden presence at her left
elbow made her turn her head to see Trina there, who was gaping at the stage with just as
much disbelief as Jade felt.

“Did you…?”

Jade shook her head. “She didn’t say anything about...she looked terrified of it after you
threw a tantrum and stomped off.”

“Is she ready?”

The intro to the song tickled the back of Jade’s mind before it clicked that it was “Your Love
is My Drug” by Kesha. Not a bad choice for Tori, she supposed, and one that she had done a
few times at…

“Oh, shit.”

Willa looked over. “What?”

But Jade wasn’t paying attention. She looked at Trina, who had come to the same realization
and they both looked up at the stage. The verse was supposed to have started by now, but Tori
was just standing there, rigid as a statue. In fact, her face had taken on the color of one, also.
Her mouth was moving, but nothing was coming out except for the occasional squeak over
the speakers. At the same time, Jade and Trina started rushing toward the stage to get to Tori.
They didn’t get there in time, however, before she collapsed to her knees and let out a loud,
horrifying scream.

The bar patrons had started to stand in concern, a loud murmur rippling through them at the
girl having a mental breakdown on the stage. Jade paid them no mind, however, as she
hopped up in front of Tori, whose brown eyes were wide with terror. The microphone had
dropped to the stage with a thud and Jade could just barely make out her whispering the word
‘no’ over and over.

“Tori, come on,” Jade said and cupped her cheeks. Dimly, she recognized how clammy Tori’s
skin was. “Tor, please, snap out of it.”

Jade felt more than saw Trina’s ridiculous high heels come up beside her. “Shit, shit, shit,”
the older Vega kept repeating. “What do we do?”

“Call Holly and tell her to get here now,” Jade snapped. When she didn’t move, Jade yelled,
“NOW, VEGA!”

Trina started and ran back to the table, where Jade assumed she had left her phone. Beside
her, Willa crouched down. “Let’s get her outside.”
Jade nodded. “Tori, can you walk? We need to get you some air.”

“What’s the meaning of this?” The new voice was gruff, angry, and Jade was in no mood for
it.

“Back the fuck off, Stevie.” Apparently, neither was Willa. “Can’t you see she’s having a
panic attack?”

“She’s causing a scene in my bar,” the owner said.

Jade was up and reaching for scissors in her jeans pocket. “I’ll show you a scene, you
insensitive…”

“Jade!” Willa barked out and grabbed her elbow before the cutting implements could be
pulled. “Focus on Tori. SCOTT! A little help!”

With one last glare at the owner, Jade knelt back down to Tori. Her breath was coming out in
short bursts, like she was hyperventilating. Jade kept talking to her in as soothing a manner as
she could, but was getting no response. Her own panic was starting to rise and Jade was
quickly coming to the realization that she couldn’t, in fact, handle it, as Tori had insisted. She
had finally done it. Jade had managed to break the girl she cared so much for, just as she had
feared since the accident.

“Jade, let me get her out of here,” Scott interjected into her self-loathing. She looked up to
see him kneeling beside her, a kind, understanding look on his face beneath the hat and the
beard. She sniffled slightly, not realizing she had started crying and moved out of the way.
Gently, as if he were handling the most fragile of glass, Scott wrapped his arms around Tori
and scooped her up bridal style. Stevie started to say something, but was silenced with a look
from Scott that would have stopped an elephant dead in its tracks.

Somewhere through her own panic, Jade thought she maybe needed to switch mentors.

Scott pushed his way through the crowd, Jade and Willa trailing in his wake. They were
quickly outside and in the parking lot. Aspen, Susan, and Trina were there in seconds, with
Trina’s phone glued to her ear and updating her mother. Scott placed Tori on a nearby park
bench and Jade was beside her in an instant, lacing their fingers together. She felt Tori
squeeze them, almost painfully so, but, otherwise, Tori gave no indication that she was aware
of what was going on around her. Her eyes were shut tightly and Jade could feel her
trembling through their contact.

Jade looked up at Willa and said, “Do something.”

“Me? What makes you think I know what to do?”

“You had panic attacks as a kid,” Jade bit out. “Don’t you know something to deal with this?”

“Panic attacks, yes,” Willa shot back. “This is…holy shit.”

Jade hated how her voice sounded so small when she said, “Please.”
Willa took a deep breath and said, “Okay. I-I may know something. I don’t…it might not
work…”

“Just try.”

“Mom’s on her way,” Trina said as she sat down on Tori’s other side. “She’s, um, not happy.”

“That makes two of us,” Jade said.

Trina sighed wearily. “Three.”

Jade felt Aspen sit down next to her and didn’t shrug off the arm that went around her
shoulders. “We grabbed your stuff.”

“Thanks,” she said and turned her attention back to Willa, who was now kneeling in front of
Tori.

“Hey, Cheekbones,” she said softly. It was as if she was talking to an easily spooked rabbit
and not a human being. She reached for Tori’s free hand and gripped it in both of her own. “I
want you to try something, if you can hear me. Squeeze if you can. Good. Good. I know
whatever you're seeing is scary and you feel lost in it, but we’re going to try grounding you,
okay? Try to get beyond the fear and tell me five things you can see. Can you do that,
Cheekbones?”

Tori shook her head quickly, but Willa persisted. “You have a lot of people scared for you
right now, Tori. You’re scaring the shit out of Jade. Think about that. I need you to try for her.
Just five things you can see. That’s it.”

Jade felt the deep, shaky breath and saw Tori force her eyes open. Her voice was strained as
she said, “J-J-Jade’s eyes.”

“Good,” Willa said, her voice still soft. “Four more things. Come on, you can do it.”

“Y-y-your Rolling S-stones shirt. Cowboy hat. T-trash can.”

Willa gave her a smile. “One more.”

“Bus.”

“Good job,” Willa said. “Okay. Now, give me four things you can feel.”

“Jade’s hand,” Tori said after a long moment. “B-Breeze on my f-face. The s-scar on my, my
head itching. Embarrassment.”

“Well, that last one isn’t what I meant, but we’ll count it,” Willa said with a small, relieved
chuckle. Jade could practically see the terror that Tori was experiencing start to slowly recede
as she came back into her mind again and squeezed her hand, receiving one in return. “Three
you can hear.”

Tori nodded. “Music. T-traffic. Trina on the ph-phone.”

“Now two things you can smell.”

“Um, the river. Apples?”

Jade blushed a little. “That’s my body wash.”

“It, it smells good,” Tori said. She leaned wearily against the back of the park bench and
Jade’s shoulder. “I’m so tired.”

“We’re almost done,” Willa said, squeezing Tori’s knee. “Just give me one thing you can
taste.”

There was no hesitation. “Chicken,” she said. Tori returned the squeeze on Jade’s hand. “I’m
here.”

Willa let out a slow breath and sat back on the ground. She ran a shaky hand through her hair
and said, “I can’t believe that fucking worked.”

Jade lowered herself to the ground next to her and wrapped her arms around Willa’s neck
with no hesitation. “Thank you,” she whispered.

“I couldn’t let my mentee down,” Willa said. Jade could hear the relief in her voice.

“Tori! Trina!”

They all looked up to see Holly running their way from where she had parked in a fire lane.
She went straight to Tori and cupped her face. Jade could see the fear there as she asked,
“What happened?”

“I thought…I could, um…handle it,” Tori said softly. Her voice sounded tired, almost dead,
much like it had when she had first appeared in the coffee shop.

“Handle what, Tori?” When she didn’t answer, Holly looked at both Trina and Jade.

After a silent conversation (and when did that become a thing she could do with the lesser
Vega?), Jade sighed and said, “She tried to sing. Kesha.”

Understanding washed over Holly’s face and she sighed. “Oh, Tori.”

“I don’t get it,” Susan said. “What’s…?”

Trina cleared her throat. “That was the last song she did before, um, before…”

“The wreck,” Jade finished. Susan winced but let it be. She really was the smartest one out of
the group.

Holly looked around and asked, “Which one of you talked her down?”

“Me,” Willa said and gave a small wave.

“Thank you,” Holly said. She reached out and clasped Willa’s hand. “Sincerely. Thank you.”
Willa nodded and pushed herself up. “Scott and I probably should get back inside. See if we
still have jobs.”

“We do,” Scott said with such reassurance that Jade had no doubt they would, even if Stevie
tried to fire them. “Ma’am. Tori. Jade.”

Holly watched them walk back to the bar, followed by Susan and Aspen after receiving
reassurances that they could handle it from there. “You’ve surrounded yourself with good
people, Jade.”

For once in her life, she readily admitted the truth about having friends. “I don’t know how.
But, yeah, they’re kind of great.”

“Can you walk to the car, Tori?” Holly asked.

That got a nod. “Y-yeah.”

“Okay. Trina, go ahead and head home. I’ll take Jade back to her motel.”

That made Jade frown a little. She really didn’t want Holly seeing the Bayview. “You don’t
have to…”

“Of course I do,” Holly insisted. “Come on, girls.”

Tori was able to walk to Holly’s SUV, but it was slow and a little stumbly. It was clear that
she was physically and emotionally empty. Jade wondered if Tori would even make it to the
Bayview before she passed out, but, somehow, she managed. Holly didn’t seem surprised
when Jade gave her the name of the place she was staying, nor did she need directions.
Which, yeah, Georgie had totally ratted her out.

After killing the SUV’s engine upon parking, Holly fixed Jade with a look. “Do your parents
know where you’re staying?”

“Not…exactly,” Jade said, shifting uncomfortably in the seat. Part of her, a larger part than
she would like to admit, wanted to just snap that it wasn’t any of her business and slam the
door on her, but Jade reeled that impulse in, if only for Tori’s sake.

“Jade,” Holly began but paused and let out a long breath. “Please tell me they are at least
aware that you are in Astoria.”

Jade looked out the side window of the car and muttered, “Dad knows I have an internship.”

“And your mother?”

“This isn't any of your business,” Jade snapped, giving into her worst instincts. She hated
herself even as the words were coming out, though she felt as if she was watching from
above herself and couldn’t stop them. “You’re not one of my parents and neither of them
really give a shit.”
Holly just blinked and then stared blankly at Jade, who started becoming self-conscious and
very guilty. That caused her to start mumbling, “Besides, daddy dearest and his latest wife are
off in Colorado for the summer. And mother hasn’t checked in since Christmas.”

The icy look melted almost immediately and Holly sighed. “Tori, stay in the car.”

“Mom…”

“Just wait here, please,” Holly said. “Jade, let’s go.”

Holly was out of the SUV and stalking toward the cottages before Jade realized what was
happening. She scrambled to undo the seatbelt and nearly tripped over her boots getting out
of the car. “Um, Holly…what…?”

“I wouldn’t be much of a responsible adult if I didn’t at least make sure where my daughter’s
best friend is staying is safe,” Holly said. “Which one is yours?”

Jade weakly pointed at the door a few down to their right, the 9 hanging only by the duct tape
the manager had used that morning. Even as Holly started marching them toward it, Jade’s
mouth again automatically responded with, “I’m not Tori’s…Cat and Andre…”

“Jade,” Holly interrupted and turned to face Jade with a small smile. Jade went up on her tip-
toes to avoid crashing into the older woman. “You’ve all tried to be there for her, and I love
you all for that. Even the puppet boy. But I’m not blind.”

Jade’s brain short-circuited a little, so she had no idea how to respond. Instead, she stomped
past Holly, knowing how immature it probably looked, and up to her door. As always, she
had to jiggle the key a couple of times to get the lock to budge and pushed open the door with
a sour flourish.

“Ta da,” she said with little to no life behind it. “Welcome to Casa De West. ”

Holly raised an eyebrow and took in the tiny studio cottage. Jade could see the judgment
plainly on her face and found herself trying to defend the shithole. “I know it doesn’t look
like much, but the sheets are clean. I think. The water’s not rusty and the door does have both
a deadbolt and a chain. It’s also supposed to be haunted, something about a murder-suicide,
which would be awesome but so far the only moaning I’ve heard…”

Almost as if it were on cue, sounds that were not appropriate to hear around any parental
figure started coming through the wall Jade shared with Windi. She closed her eyes and
pinched the bridge of her nose. “Yeah. That.”

“Jade, pack,” Holly said, her voice level and giving Jade the impression that she was not to
be argued with.

She was checked out of the Bayview within a half-hour.

I never got to find out if it was really haunted, she thought mournfully as they headed for
Casa de Vega.
 Chapter 8

Jade was barely at the Vegas’ a full day before the screaming started.

It wasn’t even her fault.

A pained whimpering woke Jade with a start. Since she normally slept pretty deeply, she was
willing to write it off as perhaps an echo from her dreams. Jade listened closely, waiting for it
to happen again, but it was pretty quiet in the house. Even Trina’s snores were a non-issue,
since she had claimed the downstairs bedroom. A glance at the clock put the time at roughly
‘way too fucking early’ and the pull to get a few more hours was strong, but Jade decided to
use the bathroom first.

She blurrily went through the motions and was two steps toward her bedroom when a scream
rang out in the night. Jade felt adrenaline burn away the vestiges of grogginess and she
whipped her head up and around, trying to figure out where it came from. Another pained
shout drew her eyes to Tori’s door, just next to her own. Jade hesitantly took a step toward it,
not entirely sure what she was going to do, when Holly’s door at the end of the hall slammed
open and she came running, dressed in an oversized T-shirt. Jade wasn’t sure Holly had even
seen her before shoving her way into Tori’s room.

Jade’s own feet had carried her to the open bedroom door before she was really even aware
that she had decided against just slinking back into her room. Her inability to not snoop had
always been a character flaw.

Cautiously, she poked her head around the door frame, not wanting to draw too much
attention if, indeed, she was over-stepping bounds. Before everything, Jade wouldn’t have
cared and barged in with some sarcastic comment about bad dreams, but the incident at Rex’s
was still fresh in her mind. Even having seen Tori in the throes of a panic attack didn’t
prepare her for what she saw in the dim light of the bedside lamp.

It was almost something out of a movie, really. Tori was sitting up in bed, clinging to her
mother’s arm that was wrapped around her shoulder. Her eyes were wide and unseeing,
staring at some horror in the corner of the room to Jade’s left. Reflexively, she looked over
there to make sure there wasn’t some slasher monster ready to cleave her head in two with a
butcher’s knife. Choked sobs were coming from Tori, drawing Jade’s attention back to the
bed and Holly trying to soothe her.

“It’s okay, honey,” Holly said softly. Jade watched as she slowly started running a hand up
and down her back in what she assumed was meant to be a calming manner. “It’s okay. It was
just a nightmare. It wasn’t real.”

Tori didn’t seem to register that though, because the sobs kept coming and she had what
looked to be a death grip on Holly’s T-shirt. Jade began to feel uncomfortable and tried to
back out of the room, accidentally bumping into the dresser by the door in the process. Holly
flicked her eyes up to Jade, who mouthed, Sorry . In response, Holly nodded and asked her
silently for water, giving Jade an out to collect herself.
She took her time heading down to the kitchen and grabbing a bottle from the fridge. Seeing
Tori like that was…shit. Okay. Deep breath. How the fuck is Trina still asleep? Water. Right.
Get it together, West.

Mind back in some semblance of working order, Jade climbed back up the short flight of
stairs to the second floor. She could tell the sobbing had slowed in the brief time she had been
downstairs, but was still cautious as she approached Tori’s room. Holly waved her in after
Jade poked her head in and nodded to the bedside table before turning her attention back to
Tori.

Who was apparently trying to talk through her sobs. “Juh-Juh…

Holly frowned down at her daughter and asked softly, “What is it, honey?”

“Juh…J-Jade…she’s…she…oh, god…”

Jade felt herself freeze in place, once again, eyes wide and not knowing how to react. She
racked her brain trying to figure out what she had done in the past to warrant such a terrible
nightmare, only coming up with that whole thing with Robbie and Tori donating an
admittedly dangerous amount of blood. And that was a big maybe . Even six months ago, she
would have probably relished the thought that she caused someone this much fear, but now…
God, Tori looked so broken.

“What about Jade, Tori?”

“She’s…sh-she’s…dead…”

WHAT?!?

Holly closed her eyes and let out a long sigh, before meeting’s Jade’s terrified gaze and
gesturing to come closer. For her part, Jade really felt like running. “Tori, honey, Jade’s not
dead. She’s perfectly fine.”

Tori shook her head violently, “Suh-saw it. Saw…so…so much blood…”

“Jade’s alive, honey,” Holly said again as soothingly as possible. Once more she gestured for
Jade to come closer, which she finally, reluctantly did. “She’s right here.”

Holly gave her a significant look as Jade made to sit on the bed. Oh. Right. She cleared her
throat, which felt a little sticky from sleep still, and said, “I, uh, I’m here, Tori.”

Tori lifted her head slightly from where she had tucked it into Holly’s chest and took in Jade,
who felt awkward and needed to do something with her hands, so she gave a tiny wave. She
imagined it looked as ridiculous as it felt doing it. Tori just stared for a long minute or two,
eyes roaming over every inch of Jade. She must have decided that what she was seeing was
real, though, because she suddenly launched herself from Holly’s grasp and into Jade with
enough force that it knocked them over onto the bed.

“Tori, what the hell?” Jade wheezed out, the breath driven out of her briefly. Tori wasn’t
helping, as she was practically laying down on top of her, resting her head on Jade’s chest.
Holly let out a heavy breath and stood from the bed. “Tori, I’m going to go grab one of your
sleeping pills, okay?”

Tori nodded her assent but didn’t let up on her death grip around Jade. “Uh, Tori, you’re kind
of making it hard to breathe.”
She heard a mutter in response, but couldn’t quite make out what Tori was saying at first.
Jade forced herself to listen a little more closely, catching her saying, “She’s okay. She’s here.
She’s not dead.”

Jade realized then that Tori was laying on her the way she was to listen to her heartbeat. She
didn’t complain about the weight on her lungs after that. Holly came back up after about five
minutes with a pill in her hand, during which time Tori had calmed down significantly. She
was still using Jade as a body pillow, which, surprisingly, wasn't the worst thing in the world.
Holly made Tori sit up finally, though she just latched onto Jade’s right hand with her left as
she took the pill from her mother and sloshed it down with some water from the bottle that
Jade had brought up.

Tori settled back onto her pillow and let out a heavy sigh as Holly bent down to kiss her
forehead. “I’m…sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about,” Holly said. “Do you want me to stay until you get back
to sleep?”

“No,” Tori said. Jade couldn’t help but note her voice was devoid of life.

Holly nodded and squeezed Jade’s shoulder. “I’m going to put on a pot of coffee.”

Jade didn’t answer and didn’t make a move to follow, either. Partly because Tori hadn’t
relinquished her hand as yet, but also she felt a strong wave of protectiveness come over her
that left Jade feeling off-kilter. She had to make sure that Tori was going to be okay before
she left. It wasn’t exactly a new feeling; something similar had come over her that first night
in the hospital, though that had been a little more manic. Jade refused to examine why she
was feeling so strongly at the moment, deciding that there was nothing wrong with putting
that off for Future Jade to worry about.

Tori didn’t say anything more, just curling onto her side in almost a fetal position. To Jade, it
looked like she was bracing herself for more nightmares after the pill took hold and sent her
back into slumber. It gave her a chance to really take her in, since she was stripped of the
overly baggy clothes for once.

The hair was the first thing she noticed, as Jade always did when she saw Tori without a head
covering of some sort. The doctor had given her the go-ahead to grow back in her hair after
the visit the week prior, but that would take at least a month before it was more than fuzz.
Jade wondered briefly if Tori would grow it back to the length it had been before the
accident. She wasn’t sure she would bother, were their positions switched.

As Tori’s breathing began to even out, Jade was surprised at how small she looked. More
than just the way she was curled in on herself, Tori physically looked smaller than Jade
remembered. She had never been big, but Tori had been athletic. She’d had to be, the way she
was constantly dancing and moving, both on- and off-stage. Now, she looked…frail was
probably the right word. This definitely wasn’t the same girl who had beaten the gorilla at
The Gorilla Club.

Tori finally fell back asleep and the smell of coffee got Jade to leave Tori’s room. She found
Holly at the table, a steaming cup already waiting as she descended the stairs. “Thanks.”

Holly just nodded and took a sip from her own mug. The two sat in silence for a while. Jade
had a feeling Holly was doing the same thing she was; waiting to see if the sleeping pill had
truly worked. Finally, Holly let out a heavy sigh and said, “I was expecting that last night, to
be honest.”

Jade shifted uncomfortably and spoke into her coffee, refusing to look up at the other woman.
“I’m sorry.”

Holly’s head snapped up. “Whatever for?”

Jade gave a half a shrug and took a big drink of her coffee. She winced as the burning liquid
slid down her throat. “I dunno. I guess…I just…feel responsible. Y’know, with the whole
karaoke mess the other night.”

“Oh, Jade,” Holly said with a sigh and reached for Jade’s hand. Thankfully, it was just a brief
pat before she grasped her mug again. “It wasn’t your fault. I need you to understand that,
honey. Tori’s just gotten good at hiding when she’s not doing well until she can’t any longer.
Sometimes there aren’t any warning signs…”

“There were.”

Holly frowned. “I’m sorry?”

Jade made a face and blamed the lack of sleep for letting that slip out. “Warning signs. That
afternoon. A couple of times she started to freak out, but she pulled herself back together
before anything happened, so I just figured whatever drugs she’s on were doing their jobs.”

“I see,” Holly said. Jade steadfastly kept her gaze at the table top, not wanting to see the sure
disappointment and anger in the older woman’s face. She wondered if it was too late to get
her studio at the Bayview back when she was, inevitably, kicked out.

Maybe I can look at it as a test run for when Dad does it , Jade thought. Like building up a
callous or something.

“Jade, I’m not mad,” Holly cut into her wallowing. Jade snapped her head up and met warm,
brown eyes and, somewhat inappropriately, realized where Tori got hers from. “I do wish you
or Trina had said something sooner, though.”

“Trina was the cause of one,” Jade said softly, not getting the joy out of throwing the lesser
Vega under the bus that she should have.

“Her driving,” Holly said at once, getting a confirming nod from Jade. “I told her it’s a…”
she trailed off and took a deep breath. “And the other?”
Jade fiddled with the suddenly empty coffee cup’s handle. “One of the girls with us, Susan,
recognized Tori. From the PMA’s.”

“Oh,” Holly said, a stunned look on her face. “That…it didn’t even occur to me that could
happen. Has no one else said anything? Georgie knows, but he’s also good at being discreet.”

Jade let out an involuntary snort. At Holly’s confused look, she said, “We must be talking
about two different Georgies.”

Holly gave a small chuckle. “Yes, he can be over the top. But he was also a gay man in high
school, in a small town, in the eighties. He knows how to keep a secret. So does Dusty.”

That last was punctuated with a significant look. Jade shifted in her seat and cleared her
throat. “Yeah, they’re both pretty awesome. And no one else has said anything. I don’t think
Aspen even watched the show, or is aware of any of the crap Mason had her do.”

“That man,” Holly said, a dark look rolling over her face. “Sometimes I wish I had let David
punch him when he showed up at the hospital. It was the least he could do to cover her
medical expenses.”

That caught Jade’s attention. Holly probably hadn’t meant to let that slip out, though she
didn’t seem to notice she had. Mason Thornesmith didn’t seem the type to apologize, not in
the two days that Jade had worked with him for the show. That he felt guilty enough to have
Neutronium Records cover Tori’s recovery…wow. Especially now that it looked like a
recording career was years off, if it ever happened.

Don’t think about it like that, West, Jade chastised herself. She’ll be back. Tori’s too good to
not be in the damn spotlight.

Jade stood and refilled her coffee. A thought came to her while she was grabbing the sugar,
though she was hesitant to ask. “Um…Holly?”

“Yes?”

Jade swallowed. “Does she…are the nightmares…is that normal?”

A sigh. “It used to be nightly, especially right after the accident. That was probably the first
one in, oh, a week or two.”

“And…does…does she…?”

“Dream about you often?” Holly said, a hint of a smirk on her lips. “The nightmares usually
replace poor Anwar with someone she loves. Some of you do show up a little more often than
others.”

Jade blushed and stared down into her coffee. A companionable silence fell over them as they
sat there in the darkness of pre-dawn. Eventually, an hour before the sun would begin
bringing the world to life, Jade began to get ready for her shift at Georgie’s. She didn’t figure
she would see Tori again until later that evening, what with the late-night sleeping pill. Holly
did surprise her, though, by tossing the keys to the SUV, reasoning that it didn’t make much
sense for someone else to have to drive that far out of the way to pick Jade up and drop her
off. Also, Trina had nothing better to do, so she could play chauffeur.

The Saturday morning rush usually hit about eight, so Georgie had her opening with Aspen
and a guy named Marcus that she had only ever worked with a couple of times previous. He
rarely came to the back, where she had been banished, though Georgie had relented on that
over the last week. Marcus seemed chill, almost reminding her of Beck and his inability to
get ruffled.

Thankfully, they were busy enough that Jade didn’t have a chance to feel the unexpected
early morning. She knew she had a long way to go before a nap was possible, however, since
weekend rehearsals were held earlier in the day than the weekday ones. Basically because
Thaddeus didn’t want to give up whatever weirdness he got up to on the weekend evenings.

It wasn’t until about ten that they finally got a bit of a breather. Jade was making another
batch of dark roast, when she felt more than saw Aspen lean against the counter next to her.
“You look like death warmed over. More than usual.”

Jade shot her a glare. “Fuck you.”

Aspen feigned an offended gasp. “Such language. Willa would be so disappointed in her
mentee.”

“She’s not my mentor,” Jade said automatically.

“You’re pushing a boulder uphill with that one,” Aspen said with a fond shake of her head.
“And she’s got more free time, now, so she’s going to be extra…well, just extra.”

Jade groaned. Willa had, indeed, been fired by Stevie after they went back inside Rex’s.
Apparently, it had been a fairly impressive screaming match. Stevie couldn’t really fire her
over providing assistance to a customer in a dire medical situation, but he did over the
karaoke challenge. Jade had received the play-by-play the day before at rehearsal, which was
obviously played up, but she let it slide. Willa also went out of her way to make sure Jade
didn’t blame herself, including swiping a bag of the frozen mozzarella sticks from the freezer
as she was clearing out her locker.

Scott had also quit in solidarity, even though both Aspen and Willa tried to talk him out of it.
Aspen was somewhat mollified when he already had a job lined up the next day with a
roofing and construction company owned by an uncle or a cousin. Jade didn’t really care
enough to pay that close attention.

“Speaking of Wills,” Aspen said. “We were thinking about coming by and seeing Cheek…uh,
Tori, if you think that would be okay. Susan, too.”

Jade raised an eyebrow in surprise. “I can check with Holly, but definitely not today. Last
night, um, wasn’t good. She’ll probably be out of it all day.”

Concern washed over Aspen’s face. "Is she okay?”

A pair of customers came to the counter, giving Jade a moment’s reprieve to decide how
much she wanted to reveal. This really was Tori’s business and Jade wasn’t exactly sure what
she wanted others to know. It had been easy to pick up on some things that she wanted to
keep quiet; how bad her panic attacks got, the doctor’s visits to LA. The nightmares she was
left to assume were on the ‘Don’t Tell’ list.

After serving the elderly couple their coffees (black, no cream or sugar), Jade turned back to
Aspen and decided to answer as honestly as she could. “I really don’t know. I didn’t see her
much yesterday and she wasn’t in a talkative mood this morning.”

“Are you okay?”

Jade shrugged, but didn’t meet her eyes. “Sure.”

Aspen shook her head. “I’m not gonna push, because I know you just well enough to know
that’s counter-productive. But let me say one thing.”

“Fine,” Jade said with just enough menace to get the point across that Aspen was pushing it.

“Find someone you can open up to. Not saying it’s me or even Willa. But, Jesus, Jade, you
have way too much on your shoulders for a seventeen-year-old.”

Jade looked away and gave a stiff nod. It was something she had already been considering,
anyway. Tori’s recommendation for sharing her therapist had been reverberating in her mind
ever since the karaoke incident. A tiny part of her felt guilty for panicking during Tori’s
breakdown and not being the one to be able to bring her out of it, instead pushing it off on
Willa.

Mostly, though, Jade had come to realize over the last week or so that, mentally, she wasn’t
healthy. She was hoping to hold off until she got back into LA before exploring anything,
though. That was a fun conversation with her father that she wasn’t looking forward to, since
it would be his bank account funding it.

The rest of the morning went by somewhat slowly, as the traffic through the coffee shop was
strangely non-existent after the initial rush. About the only notable thing was that Aspen let
Jade know a reunited Saddle Mountain was performing an outdoor concert as part of
Astoria’s Fourth of July celebrations. Apparently, Meghan was back in town from her
European backpacking trip and they were practicing hard to get back up to show speed. Jade
felt an odd pang of regret that she hadn’t spent as much time with the band in the week since
the camping trip, but Tori had kind of taken up all her spare bandwidth.

Rehearsal, though, went fast. They were starting to go off-book for nearly all their scenes, or
at least attempting to. Some of the background players weren’t as competent, though Kellis
and Willa were both doing well. Jaxon, too, though he still had to sneak peeks every so often.
Georgie must have done nothing in his free time but memorize, because he had been off-book
since the second week.

Jade was standing off stage next to Thaddeus, trying not to gag at the fishy smell coming off
his coat, as they watched Kellis act out his death scene. It was the first time they were
working that one off-book and it was going well, Jade thought. She made a couple of notes
on blocking, but was otherwise pleasantly surprised that it didn’t…

“Stop!”

She sighed. Fucking jinxed it.

“Something isn’t right,” Thaddeus said, stroking his ridiculous mustache. He stalked forward
and circled around where Kellis was lying, head in Willa’s lap, Jaxon and a couple of others
in the scene spread around them. Willa visibly made a face at Jade and rolled her eyes. Jade
just smirked in response and waited for whatever nonsense she was going to have to shout
down this time.

“We should set it on a space station.”

“A…what?” Jade heard herself exclaim.

“Yes, Cyrano in Space!” Thaddeus said with a snap of his fingers. “That’s the take on this
production to make it unique.”

“You want to change the play to set it in space,” Jade said flatly. “Three weeks from opening
curtain.”

“I call Spock,’ Willa said.

“NO.”

“Come on. I could totally rock the pointed ears.”

“Not the point,” Jade ground out.

“Jadelyn…” Thaddeus began.

Jade cut him off as she boiled over. “That is not my name you goddamn asshole! You have
got to be the dumbest fucking excuse…”

“Okay, we’re taking a breather,” Willa interrupted. She popped up from the ground and
grabbed Jade’s elbow, before forcibly dragging her offstage and through the back exit. It
opened up to an alley that included a small loading dock for any big set pieces.

Jade let out a frustrated scream as she wrenched her arm free of Willa’s grasp and kicked the
first thing she saw. Which, unfortunately, turned out to be the very heavy, very metal
dumpster. While wearing combat boots that were more fashion than protection, especially as
loosely as she tied them. She felt her left ankle give as she awkwardly planted and kicked out
with her right. And, yeah, that fucking hurt, which lead to another round of loud cussing and
shouting as she hopped on one foot.

The pain at least distracted her from the anger that had suddenly bubbled up. She felt a little
ridiculous in retrospect, blowing up over something so trivial. Yes, it was extremely
annoying, but it didn’t warrant the explosion that had been building before Willa pulled her
outside. No, his smelling like a halibut didn’t help her frayed nerves, but she was better than
that.

Theoretically.

Stepping outside herself, Jade knew that her temper boiled over from just everything . Plus,
she didn’t have any good coping mechanisms outside of locking herself in a room and writing
for hours on end. The ability to do that had been non-existent, really, since she came to
Astoria. Jade had tried, but just everything had seemed to conspire to prevent her from
getting some fucking alone time, even when she was in her motel room.

Was it too much to ask for just sixty goddamn minutes away from people?

Willa was blatantly fighting back a grin as she leaned up against the wall beside the theater
exit. “You know that was out loud, right?”

“Shut up,” Jade huffed. She tried to rotate her ankle and let out a yelp of pain. Probably
sprained.

“Probably should have laced the boots up all the way.”

“No fucking shit,” Jade bit out. She gingerly put her foot on the ground and immediately
winced and started limping on it. Definitely sprained. “Thanks for the input, Catherine
Obvious.”

“Wait,” Willa said, a look of confusion on her face. “Did you say Catherine Obvious?”

Jade paused in her pained pacing and let out a loud groan toward the sky. “Damn it. It’s a Tori
thing.”

A smug look appeared on Willa’s face but Jade snapped her fingers and pointed angrily.
“Not. A. Word. We found out she says it like that, so I started saying it to make fun of her.
Now, it’s how I say it and it pisses me off.”

“Uh huh.”

“I hate you,” Jade said. She finally gave up on awkwardly walking and just dropped down on
the concrete next to Willa, letting her legs stretch out in front of her. At least she was in
jeans.

“No, you don’t,” Willa said. The smile on her face had only grown in smugness, and Jade
wished she really did hate her enough to wipe it off. You’re a marshmallow, West. “You get it
out of your system?”

Jade shrugged nonchalantly. “Sprained ankle kinda takes the wind out of the sails a bit.”

“Strange how that happens.”

“Seriously. Shut up.”

Willa held up her hands in a conciliatory manner and then reached down. “You ready to face
Le Directeur ?”

“I suppose,” Jade said, grasping the offered hand letting herself be pulled to her feet. “This
internship will look good on my college applications. I just have to keep reminding myself
that.”

“Great,” Willa exclaimed. “And, as your mentor, I expect a little more decorum. After all,
your actions reflect back on me.”

Jade grumbled under her breath and limped back into the theater, where, thankfully, the
others seemed to have managed to talk Thaddeus down from the Cyrano In Space angle. She
plopped down in one of the front row seats, though, for the rest of rehearsal. Her ankle
throbbed the entire time, which wasn’t helping her mood, but Jade managed to keep herself in
check well enough.

Mustn’t embarrass her mentor, after all.

It was late afternoon by the time she returned to the beach house. Willa had mentioned that
she was invited to the Saddle Mountain practice as they were leaving the theater and Jade
seriously thought about going. She wasn’t sure, however, about the new dynamic in living
with the Vegas. Holly hadn’t really laid out rules for her to follow, but Jade assumed she
couldn’t just come and go as she pleased. Especially being car-less and at the mercy of others
for rides. Which she hated, but her car was parked in her driveway back in LA, since she flew
up to Portland and then bussed to Astoria.

By the time she got back, though, her ankle was hurting badly enough that she just wanted to
stay off it with an ice pack. And potentially all of the aspirin. Holly took one look at her and
directed her to the couch, immediately making her take her boots off and putting the injured
foot up on a few stacked pillows. An ice pack followed and Jade was left feeling off-kilter at
the doting that she was receiving.

“This is weird,” she said.

Holly raised an eyebrow. “What? You put ice on a sprained ankle.”

“No, not that,” Jade said, waving her off. “This. You. Just…not used to…this.”

“Oh,” Holly said. Jade recognized the tone immediately, having used it frequently herself. It
was the voice you used when someone else said something either stupid or upsetting. Jade
felt herself recoiling slightly, and entirely unconsciously, when Holly shook it off and gave
her a warm smile. “Well, you’re just going to have to accept a little mothering while you’re
here. Now, I think we have a bandage around here somewhere.”

Jade watched as Holly walked up the stairs and felt a rush of conflicting emotions come over
her. She bristled at the doting, entirely too used to doing everything herself and not having to
rely on anyone else. Except those times where Tori and the others helped her out. She also
felt confused; why would this woman, who only kind of knew her by association with her
daughters, treat her with such kindness. Hell, she took her into her home. Demanded it, really.
In Jade’s, admittedly limited, experience, people didn’t do that.

She was lost in her thoughts and barely registered when Holly came back with the
aforementioned elastic bandage. With practiced hands, she removed the ice pack and began
wrapping the injured ankle, somehow knowing how tight it should be without being too
much so. Jade just watched in confusion as Holly finished up and attached the butterfly clips
to hold it in place.

Holly looked up and smiled at the look on Jade’s face. “When you have a daughter that’s into
martial arts, you quickly learn how to deal with sprains.”

Jade nodded and leaned back onto the couch arm and replaced her foot on the cushions. She
closed her eyes and felt it throb with each beat of her heart, the pain slightly comforting, in a
weird way. “Why are you so nice to me?”

Her eyes snapped open in panic. Shit. Didn’t mean for that to come out.

“I just mean, I’ve been terrible to Tori for, like ninety-nine percent of the time I’ve known
her.” Good. Word vomit always makes things better, West. “I literally dumped coffee on her
head the first day I met her. Yeah, it was iced coffee, but still. And I stole her blood…”

“YOU WHAT?”

Jade continued, not really registering the outburst. “And just so many damn things over the
last couple of years that she shouldn’t have wanted to be in the same state as me, much less
want to be my friend. But she was still there, and here you are, acting more like my mother
than she ever has, and I just don’t get you Vegas. Why are you so nice to me?”

When she finally ran out of steam, Jade dropped her gaze to her hands, as her fingers started
fiddling with the hem of her T-shirt. She could feel Holly’s stare and knew, absolutely
fucking knew, that she had screwed up this time.

A heavy sigh came from Holly before she said, “First off, we are going to circle back to the
‘stole her blood’ part. As for the rest, I know what both Tori and Trina have told me.
Especially Trina. And, yes, I have seen you be…less than pleasant on occasion at our house.”

Jade felt her face flush and turned her head. Holly continued, “However, I have also heard
how much you have helped Tori since she started Hollywood Arts. You know there are just as
many of those stories as there are that paint you in a bad light, right? Jade, you gave up the
chance of a lifetime for her.”

“Yeah, that ended so well,” Jade said bitterly. “Maybe if I had been more selfish…”

Holly reached out and brushed a strand of Jade’s hair that had fallen back behind her ears.
The gesture was so gentle, so…mom-like that she had to fight back the tears that wanted to
come. “Jade, honey, you can’t go down that road. Trust me. What if she had called her dad or
I to come get her? What if Anwar had taken a different route? What if you kids had gone
somewhere else to celebrate? The what-ifs are endless, and you’ll just drive yourself mad if
you dwell on them.”

Jade nodded stiffly. Intellectually, she knew that. Didn’t stop the thoughts from creeping in
every so often. And she recognized she had been a little all over the place, emotionally, since
that fucking camping trip. The two sat in a surprisingly comfortable silence for a while, the
only sounds that of whatever terrible TV show Trina was watching downstairs. Probably
Celebrities Underwater . Jade found herself staring out the back patio and out over the ocean
view. It really was nice. For the ocean.

“I heard you, you know.” Holly’s statement startled Jade, who had zoned out.

She frowned. “Heard what?”

Holly gave her a small smile. “That night. During the surgery for the bleeding in her chest.
We’re not the most religious family, but I decided it couldn’t hurt, so I made my way to the
hospital’s chapel. You and I apparently had the same idea, because there you were, in a pew
and begging God to save her life.”

“Oh,” Jade said dumbly. She felt her cheeks heat up in embarrassment. It had been an
impulse, as her search for a distraction during that surgery had carried her feet to the chapel.
Her family hadn't been religious in the slightest, at least as far back as she could remember.
Jade thought her dad went to church now with the new wife for appearances sake; she
seemed the type to care more about being seen at church than actually believing in a higher
power. But, at that moment, with Tori potentially dying, it made complete sense. “I, uh…”

“It’s okay, Jade,” Holly reassured her. “I won’t say anything to anyone else. I just want you to
know how much it meant to me that you cared that much. And I’ve seen you work to keep up
your end to…how did you put it? Be a less sucky human being? That’s what really brought
me around on you.”

A tear finally escaped Jade’s eyes, which triggered more. It wasn’t the body-wracking sobs
from the other day. A gentle shower to that raging storm, really. Damn Vegas, making her
feel things, anyway.

She sniffed and wiped at her face. “Okay, this is way too sappy for me. Can we change the
subject?”

Holly laughed. “Sure. I was thinking we make a couple of pizzas tonight for dinner.”

‘We’ turned out to be ‘Trina, with Jade providing little to no actual help’ later that evening.
Holly had a work thing come up suddenly, so she was in the home office dealing with
whatever financial crisis that had to be handled right at that moment. And there had been no
sign of Tori since Jade had come home from rehearsal, though apparently she had woken up
around noon before promptly going right back to sleep.

Hanging out with just Trina was…weird. There was an unspoken bonding moment over the
Karaoke Incident, as Jade was labeling it in her head. It wasn’t enough to keep them from
sniping at each other every chance they got, but some of the heat had been taken out of it.
Jade also discovered that Trina wasn’t entirely talentless; she actually had a decent singing
voice when she didn’t think anyone was paying attention. Jade was stunned into silence when
Trina started singing softly as she chopped vegetables up for the pizza. Apparently, the
spotlight brought out the worst in her.

Trina was also frighteningly good with a knife.

Jade, for her part, was sitting on one of the breakfast bar stools, her injured ankle propped up
on another. It was a handy excuse to get out of having to help out more than read instructions.

“Okay, Spooky, how much flour for the dough?” Trina was asking as she set aside the last of
the cut up toppings.

“Four pounds per pizza.”

Trina just nodded and went to the pantry without questioning it, much to Jade’s delight. “I
don’t think we have enough. I may have to run to that Wankos up the road. They have five
pound bags, right?”

“It’s Wankos,” Jade said with a feigned weary sigh. “Pretty sure they only sell them in fifteen
pounds and up.”

Trina groaned and scrunched up her face. “I suppose we’ll use it eventually.”

“Use what eventually?”

They both turned to see Tori shuffling slowly down the stairs. Damn, but she looked defeated.
That was the best way Jade could describe the air around Tori at that moment. She was back
in a way-too-baggy black T-shirt and gray sweatpants, though she wasn’t wearing her hat.
That almost enhanced, though, the sickly look to Tori. She was pale and Jade didn’t need to
be up close to see the dark circles under her eyes. Everything about Tori as she came up to
the kitchen screamed ‘listless.’

“Fifteen pounds of flour from Wankos,” Trina said.

Tori blinked for a moment, the only sign of a reaction, before turning to Jade with a blank
look. She just shrugged nonchalantly and said, “We’re making pizzas.”

“ I’m making pizza while you sit on your ass and act all ‘hurt,’” Trina said, complete with air
quotes.

Tori frowned at the ankle, bandage on full display thanks to the comfy sleep shorts Jade had
changed into, propped up on the stool as she finally reached the island. “What happened?”

“Got in a fight with a dumpster.”

“Why?”

“It looked at me funny.”

To Jade’s disappointment, she got no reaction from Tori, who instead just nodded, then went
to the couch and sat down, wrapping herself in the blanket that was draped over the back. It
was like she had reset back to the beginning of the month, when only a few emotions
managed to crack through the walls that Tori had erected around herself. Without thinking,
Jade caught Trina’s gaze, who had a similar look of concern on her face. Another of those
inexplicable silent conversations ensued, in which Trina made a bunch of faces that translated
into, “Do your thing and fix her, Spooky.”

Jade just flipped her off.

Trina scoffed and said, rather more loudly than necessary, “Well, I’m going to run to
Wanko’s. It will probably take me thirty minutes to drive there and back. Plenty of time for
talking. Or other things of a PG-13 nature.”

“Fuck’s sake, Vega,” Jade growled. She fought back the blush that wanted to rise on her
cheeks. She would not get embarrassed by Trina fucking Vega. “Just go get the damn flour.
And some licorice.”

A flurry of choked coughing came from the area of the couch, giving Jade some satisfaction
at a reaction from Tori. Trina eyed her suspiciously before shrugging it off and scooping her
keys off the counter. Jade hobbled over to the couch, grumbling curses under her breath, and
dropped down wearily next to Tori. The latter was curled up under the blanket as small as
possible, giving Jade enough room to kick her feet up onto the cushions and the pillows that
Holly had placed there earlier.

Tori was resolutely not looking at Jade, though she could see the quirk of lips as she fought a
smile. Jade felt that a good sign, that she hadn’t completely regressed in her emotional
recovery. They sat there in silence for several minutes, Tori staring out the back french doors
to the ocean beyond and Jade staring at Tori.

Jade knew she was being slightly creepy, but couldn’t bring herself to stop. Tori was a flame
and Jade a moth, constantly drawn to her. It had been that way since Sikowtiz’s first class,
when she had decided they were to be mortal enemies.

It would be easy to look at any one point and say, ‘That’s when she became tolerable.’
Perhaps when Tori took that detention for her, or when she helped Jade get back together
with Beck. Maybe the revenge plot against those catty bitches at Karaoke Dokie. Or Yerba.
Ryder. That creepy-ass clown on the way to Mona Patterson's. Really, it was probably all of
the little events that added up to chip away at Jade’s walls until Tori managed to make a hole
big enough to walk through.

A weary sigh from Tori cut into Jade’s thoughts. “Not talking about it.”

“Wasn’t going to ask.”

Tori nodded weakly and settled back into the couch a little deeper. Silence washed over them,
broken only by the faint murmuring coming from the office and whatever Holly was working
on. It wasn’t uncomfortable; they had lots of practice after all. Jade had hoped the last week
or so was a sign that Tori was coming back into herself, though.
Fucking karaoke.

Fucking Kesha.

Fucking shitbag drunk driver.

“Tom.”

Jade’s head snapped up, finding Tori looking at her blankly. Well, mostly blankly. There was
the spark of something there, but it was deadened. “What?”

“His name,” Tori said slowly. “The guy who hit…” She took a deep, very shaky breath. “His
name was Tom. He, um, he had a wife. Two kids. One of them is, um, is sick.”

“Are you…” Jade started, her face flushing in shock. And, holy shit, why could she not keep
her inner monologue inner ? “Are you defending …”

“No,” Tori cut in emphatically. “No. I just…I needed to know.”

Jade pulled a face. “If it were me, the only thing I would want to know is where he’s buried.
Y’know, so I could pay my respects.”

Tori turned her head slightly and narrowed her eyes. “That’s…mature of you.”

“With a sledgehammer.”

“And there it is,” Tori said with a sigh. Jade didn’t miss the slight quirk at the corner of her
mouth, however.

Her ankle gave a painful twinge and she sucked in a hiss through clenched teeth. It took a
moment for the pain to subside, and when it did, Jade pulled herself up and started to walk to
the kitchen. She didn’t make it but two steps before letting out a curse grabbing the back of
the couch.

Tori sighed. “Jade, sit.”

“I’m fine,” she insisted. “Just need the ice pack.”

“I’ll get it. Sit.”

Jade huffed and swung around the couch. “I’m only…”

“Doing it because you want to,” Tori finished and stood from the couch. “I know, Jade.”

Jade watched her make her way into the kitchen with slightly more spring in her step. She
was back in moments and applying the ice to the injured joint. The pain was soothed to a
tolerable level, though not completely gone. Tori lifted Jade’s leg and put it in her lap, then
kept her hand on the ice pack, a gentle pressure that Jade found comfort in.
They sat like that for several minutes. Jade could have honestly stayed like they were the rest
of the night, as Tori’s presence was soothing in a way that she found shocking. Her anxiety
melted away; not gone, but a mere background buzz. Manageable. Easily ignored. It was
strange; she never felt this way with Beck, even in their calmest moments. That she could
find it with Tori was so bizarre to her.

“Jade?”

Tori’s voice startled her out of the rabbit hole she had fallen down. Jade shook her head a
little to clear it and refocused. “Yeah?”

“Can you…I…um…I, uh…”

The frustration rolled off Tori so thickly that Jade felt agitated. “Is this a brain-glitchy thing
or an embarrassed ‘I played an ice cream cone in a viral kiddie band’ thing?”

“Brain-glitchy thing,” Tori said slowly. Her face was strained, as if she were physically
forcing the words out. “And we agreed to never speak about that… that other thing.”

Jade gave her the best evil smirk she could manage. “ I agreed to no such thing. That video is
getting played at every major milestone you all have for the rest of your lives.”

That got a flat look, though, again, something sparked in those chocolate eyes that Jade
thought could be amusement. “You’re in that video, also.”

“Am I?”

Tori’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “What did you do?”

Jade just bobbed her eyebrows and folded her arms behind her head causally. Tori shook her
head and turned back to French doors. “You’re a lifesaver.”

“Um, what?” Jade blinked and sat up a little straighter. She began to pull her foot off Tori’s
lap, but she put a little more pressure on it to keep it in place. Not enough to cause pain, but
enough to let Jade know it was okay.

The smallest of smiles ghosted Tori’s lips. “You keep pulling me back from a ledge. Like just
then. You distracted me enough to not think about my brain going weird. It helps to reset it.”

“Oh.” It was becoming commonplace for these damn Vega women to leave her unsure of
how to react to anything, and Jade wasn’t sure she entirely hated it. The praise kept giving
her warm fuzzies in her chest, which normally she hated.

Is this what personal growth feels like? Jade thought, then double-checked Tori’s face to
make sure that she didn’t say it out loud.

“It’s mostly on accident.” That she did mean to say.

“Still,” Tori said and squeezed Jade’s ankle lightly. “I, um…Thursday and, um, last night…”
Jade waved her off. “We don’t need to…”

“I know,” Tori said. “I just…I can feel myself trying to withdraw again. The meds are
helping, but, um, don’t let me pull away. Please?”

“No problem,” Jade said without hesitation.

Tori looked at her, eyebrows raised in surprise. “Really? That easily?”

Jade sighed dramatically and dropped her head back on the armrest of the couch. “Tori, I’m
about to say something that I will deny to anyone else for the rest of my days.”

“Okay?”

She leaned forward, grabbing both of Tori’s hands. Jade made sure to hold eye contact and
plastered the most serious, ‘doctor giving horrible news’ look on her face that she could
manage. She took a deep breath before saying, “You, Tori Vega, are my friend. So, yeah. I got
your back.”

Tori’s face immediately broke out into a huge grin. It was jarring, honestly, considering just
moments ago she was struggling to show anything other than frustration. It seemed to
surprise Tori, also, because she started tearing up and let out a breathy laugh. “Dude, I want
to hug you right now.”

“Don’t push it.”

“Fine,” Tori groaned, though the grin never left her face.

A door opening down the hall caught their attention and, moments later, Holly appeared at
the top of the stairs. She smiled at the pair and said, “You look like you’re feeling better,
honey.”

Tori nodded happily. “Jade called me her friend.”

The girl in question rolled her eyes at that, while Holly just shot them a confused look. “Um,
right. Did we give up on making pizzas?”

“Trina went to Wanko’s to get more flour,” Jade said.

“I thought we just bought flour.”

They all jumped simultaneously as the front door slammed open with a loud bang. Trina
followed moments later, a comically large sack in her arms. She hefted it up onto the
breakfast bar that she and Jade had been using as a prep station for the pizza and let out a
heavy breath.

“Wanko’s only had fifty pound bags,” she said between panting breaths.

Holly frowned. “Why do we need that much flour?”

“The dough recipe calls for four pounds per pizza,” Trina said as she stretched her arms up
over her head.

Jade smirked at Tori. “Did I say four pounds ? I meant four cups.”

“Damn it, Spooky!”

 Chapter 9
Chapter Notes

Happy Leap Day. That's why this is a day later than normal and not at all because I was
lazy

Operation: Keep Tori Distracted kicked off on Monday.

It started with Jade slipping into Tori’s room at five-fifteen in the morning with a pot and a
metal spoon.

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?” Tori shouted after the clanging stopped.

Jade couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up at the sight before her. Tori’s eyes were wild,
unfocused. She also couldn’t stop blinking, which Jade figured was in part because she hadn’t
put on her glasses and was struggling to actually see clearly. If she had hair, it probably
would have been sticking up in every direction. Drool glistened on her chin and her T-shirt
was hanging off one shoulder.

She would go to her grave before admitting it out loud, but Jade found the sight incredibly
adorable.

“Rise and shine, Tori,” Jade said. She, herself, had already been up for thirty minutes, since
she needed a bit more time to prepare for an opening shift at Georgie’s.

Tori dropped back onto her pillow with a groan. “Why are you doing this?”

“You wanted me to keep you distracted,” Jade said, holding up the fingernails of her right
hand for inspection. A chip was on her pinkie, which meant it was about time to repaint.
“This is me, keeping you distracted.”

“By waking me up at…what the hell time is it, anyway?”

“Five-twenty.”

That got a flat look. “I’m going back to bed. Distract me when the sun comes up.”

“No can do,” Jade said gleefully. “I’ve got to open at the coffee shop and you’re coming with
me.”

Tori rolled over so she was facing away from Jade. “Go away.”
With a roll of her eyes, Jade raised the pot and spoon, but Tori cut her off by suddenly
swinging back over. “Don’t even think about it.”

Jade shrugged and left the room, limping across the hall to the bathroom. She put the pot
under the faucet in the bath, filling it up quickly. When she turned around, a bleary-eyed
Holly was standing in the doorway. “Jade, what are you doing?”

“Waking up Tori to go to work with me.”

“Oh,” Holly said, nodding absently. “That’s nice. Can I get in here?”

“Sure,” Jade said and slid around the older woman. Just as the door started to shut, she heard
a faint, “Wait. What?”

As quietly as she could manage, while carrying a pot of swishing water, Jade made her way
back into Tori’s room. As she suspected, the girl had hunkered back down under the blankets
and was letting out soft snores. Which, again, kind of adorable. Jade almost felt guilty for
doing this, but Tori had asked for her help. She really should have seen this coming.

Jade was sometimes great at rationalization.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?”

“TORI! LANGUAGE!”

It only occurred to Jade after the pot was emptied on Tori’s head that this was probably a line
too far and that she might not react well. She held her breath as she backed away from the
bed a few steps. Tori was huffing and wiping water out of her eyes, but, thus far, it was just
water and not tears. She did have a murderous look on her face, which made Jade feel slightly
better.

“Oh, good. You’re up.”

Tori glared and it was a really good glare. Jade was impressed. “I hate you.”

“No, you don’t,” Jade said smugly. “We’re leaving in twenty minutes.”

Nineteen minutes later, they were in Holly’s SUV, which she had again given Jade permission
to use. The keys had come with a small lecture about being extra cautious, since Tori would
be riding with her this time, but Jade assured her that, yes, she understood the trust being
placed in her and that she wouldn’t do anything that would break it.

She was tempted to grab a shovel to put in the very back bench seat. Just for old time’s sake.

Tori surprised Jade by climbing into the passenger’s seat, but just shook her head at the
questioning look. Tension lined her face, belying her discomfort, but she placed a messenger
bag on the floor between her legs and settled back. Jade made sure to take turns slow as she
got out onto the highway to Astoria proper. At one point, as they were crossing the New
Youngs Bay Bridge, with just enough sunlight to make the world gray instead of black, she
felt Tori reach over and grab her arm tightly. She didn’t know what was freaking her out, but
Jade shook her arm slightly to get Tori to let go, only to grab her hand instead. They kept
their fingers threaded the rest of the drive to the coffee shop.

Georgie greeted them both warmly when they walked in with five minutes to spare before
opening. He pulled Tori into a big hug, which seemed to surprise her, judging by the wide-
eyed look on her face. Jade almost laughed, but then scowled as she was directed to the back
to help Dusty. Tori just pointed to her customary booth and Jade watched as she started to
pull out her schoolwork from the messenger bag.

“Haven’t I been behaving up front?” Jade asked and, wow, she could hear the whine in her
voice.

Georgie patted her head and it was very condescending. “You have. I’ve been proud. But
you’re also injured and you’ll just get grumpy the more you have to stand on that ankle.
Besides, my honey boo is working on more of his holiday fudge.”

Jade let out a huff. “Fine. I’ll work in the back. But only because there’s fudge.”

It wasn’t until mid morning that Jade was able to go back up front, when Dusty made her take
a break. She poured herself a cup of coffee and made her way over toward Tori, finding
Aspen and Willa both there already, which was odd, since Aspen wasn’t scheduled to work.
Marcus and Jean were the opening crew that morning, and a couple of others that Jade had
barely interacted with were working in the afternoon. Aspen was next to Tori and both had
their heads over some textbook.

Willa let out a dramatic sigh when she saw Jade coming. “We’re surrounded by nerds, my
dear mentee.”

Jade raised her eyebrow. “What?”

“They,” Willa gestured across the table, “have been geeking out over rebel cliffs for the past
five minutes.”

Aspen looked up with a glare. “You know damn well it’s treble clefs.”

“I know no such thing, Asp.”

“We had the same piano teacher, Wills.”

“And one of us is studying to be a music teacher,” Willa said, spreading her arms like she
was making some big revelation. “The other…”

“Is mostly unemployed and living in her dad’s spare room?”

Jade choked on a laugh as she took a drink of her coffee. “Damn, Aspen,” she said through a
coughing fit.

Willa stared daggers at Aspen for a long moment, then sighed and said, “Harsh, but fair.”
“What are you working on, anyway?” Jade asked, leaning over to try to get a look at the
music sheet on the table. There weren’t any lyrics written, though it was filled with chords.

“My piano class,” Tori said. “I have to compose an original piece and perform it for Mrs.
Younger to get credit for last semester.”

Jade nodded. “What else do you still have to do?”

Tori sighed and pulled a sheet out of her bag. “I have to sit the finals in Spanish…”

“Wait,” Jade cut in. “You took Spanish?”

“Yeah?” Tori said, a confused look on her face. “Why?”

“Isn’t that cheating? You’re already, like, fluent.”

“Being able to translate Sikowitz's terrible Spanish doesn't make me fluent,” Tori said with an
eye roll. “And Dad insisted. For both Trina and me. Something about keeping in touch with
our roots. I also have to take the finals in history and trig. For science, Sherman just wants
me to do a thousand word report on the importance of electricity.”

“That’s it?” Willa interrupted this time. “A thousand words on ‘the importance of
electricity?’”

Tori had the sense to look a little embarrassed. “I may have had the highest grade in our class
before…before…um…yeah.”

At the confusion Willa and Aspen’s faces, Jade added, “Performing arts school. We’re not
exactly churning out MIT candidates. Miss Overachiever here sets our curve in science.”

“Which one?” Aspen asked.

“Just general science,” Jade said. At Aspen's flat look, she shrugged and repeated,
“Performing arts school.”

“You already know about Improv,” Tori said to redirect the conversation.

“Which I’ve got covered,” Jade said and nudged Willa. “Meet your understudy.”

“Awesome,” Willa chirped. “What’s an understudy?”

Jade felt her right eye start twitching and her jaw clenched. Tori, meanwhile, was biting her
lower lip to keep from laughing. “It’s. Not. Funny,” Jade bit out.

“It’s a little funny,” Tori responded.

Aspen swiveled her head between the two and sighed. “This is one of those inside joke things
you have that will horrify us when we hear it, isn’t it?”

Tori frowned in confusion. “What are you talking about?’”

“Yerba,” Willa coughed out.

“Jade!” Tori exclaimed, drawing a few looks from some of the other customers in the shop.
She blushed in embarrassment and lowered her voice. “You told them about…you-know-
where?”

“It’s Yerba, not Voldemort, Tori.”

Tori made a sound that was halfway between a choke and a whine. “The State Department
said not to, um…uh…say we know about it. Plus, there’s still bounties on our heads.”

Aspen’s eyes widened comically. “You have bounties ?”

“Did I not mention that?” Jade asked innocently.

“You did not.”

“Oh.”

“How big are these bounties?” Willa asked. Jade raised her eyebrow and slowly turned her
head. “Hypothetically speaking, of course.”

Jade scrunched up her face in thought. “Tori’s is a lifetime supply of Yerbanian gravy.
Robbie, I think, is at twenty jars for killing the octopus. The rest of us are at six.”

Aspen and Willa exchanged incredulous looks. “What are your fucking lives?” Willa finally
asked.

Tori's eyes narrowed in suspicion. “What else have you told them?”

“Don’t worry, Tori. I haven’t brought up the Diddly Bops.”

“Jade…” Tori said menacingly. Or, at least, as menacing as she could get. Which, in fairness,
was more than Jade expected, but it was still like a puppy growling.

She made a show of looking at a watch that didn’t exist on her wrist and slid from the booth.
“Oh, look. My break’s over. Bye!”

The last thing Jade heard before crossing into the back was the opening strains of “Favorite
Foods” coming from Willa’s phone.

The rest of her shift went quickly enough, with Dusty’s energy in the kitchen infectious. His
continued holiday fudge experiments (always deemed just not good enough) helped as well,
since Jade was his unofficial beta tester. The only distraction, really, came from text messages
that came in sporadically, both in the main group thread and a separate, non-Tori one set up
for a surprise Jade was trying to organize. That thread had started blowing up not long before
she was due to leave for the day; enough so that Jade had to silence her phone, since the
continued glass shattering drew a stern look from Dusty.

B-ex (1:30 p.m.)

 The 4th looks like a no-go for me. Needed on set.

1:30 p.m.

Oooh, look at Mr. Big TV Star over here.

B-ex (1:31 p.m.)

That’s not fair, Jade. You know I want to be there.

1:32 p.m.

Chill, Oliver. I know. Just giving you shit.

B-ex (1:32 p.m.)

Just feel horrible for not being able to be there for her.

1:33 p.m.

Don’t. You know she’d feel worse if you skipped out on a role because of her.

B-ex (1:34 p.m.)

Yeah, I know.

Cat (1:35 p.m.)

I’M IN!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂🙂🙂

1:35 p.m.

Caps lock.

Cat (1:35 p.m.)

sorry, jade. i know u h8 that. i’m in!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂🙂🙂

i can’t wait to ride a horse!

1:37 p.m.

Still in Oregon.

But I can introduce you to a cowboy.

Cat (1:37 p.m.)

YAY!!!

sorry. yay!!!
 Robbie (1:39 p.m.)

Rex and I can’t make it. Mom decided we’re taking a family trip.

Jade let out a breath of relief and felt a tiny bit of guilt at that. She liked Robbie; it would be a
bit of a stretch for her to call him a close friend, but he was a friend. Get him away from the
loathsome fucking puppet and Robbie was more than tolerable; he could actually be decent
company and you had to be blind to not see how much he cared for Cat. More importantly, he
was Tori’s friend and she needed them more than she was admitting.

Unfortunately, with Robbie came Rex, and Tori was in no shape to endure that. All it would
take is one leering comment or one badly placed joke and Tori would start breaking down.
Jade would then go into rage mode and find another industrial fan to shove it into. Maybe
throw it into the ocean for a shark to eat. She didn’t even know if there were sharks this far
north, but she was determined to find one and feed Rex to it limb-by-loathsome-limb.

“Jade,” Dusty’s voice cut into her mental destruction of the puppet. “You squeeze your phone
any tighter and you’ll need a new one.”

She looked down and, sure enough, her knuckles were almost white around her PearPhone.
Jade forced herself to take a deep, calming breath and loosened her grip. She gave Dusty a
slight smile and said, “Just imagining committing puppetcide.”

He stared at her for a moment and then shook his head sadly. “I think I’m officially too old to
understand you kids anymore.”

“Oh, come on,” Jade said. “You’re not that old. You’re only, what? Sixty?”

Dusty let out an offended scoff. “I am nowhere near sixty, you whippersnapper.”

Jade raised an eyebrow. “Saying things like ‘whippersnapper’ isn’t helping to prove you’re
not sixty. In fact, it’s pushing my guess up toward seventy.”

“Get the muffins from the oven,” Dusty said blandly.

Jade grinned and put her phone in her back pocket, where she felt it vibrate several times
while she pulled the tins from the oven and placed them onto the wire cooling racks. That
completed, and with Dusty’s permission to go ahead and clock out, Jade pulled out her
phone, finding a few more messages.

Cat (1:40 p.m.)

awwwwwww ☹️ . ur going to miss out on tori! And texas! texas, robbie!

B-ex (1:41 p.m.)

Ur doing that on purpose now, aren’t you, Cat?

Cat (1:41 p.m.)

 doing what? o:-)

Robbie (1:42 p.m.)

Much rather be in Texas than Great Aunt Edna’s.

She smells like Sikowitz after that weekend coconut vision quest.

1:46 p.m.

Yeah, that wasn’t coconuts he was on.

Robbie (1:47 p.m.)

What was it?

1:48 p.m.

When you’re older.

Robbie (1:48 p.m.)

That’s not fair! I’m older than you by 2 months!

1:49 p.m.

Are you, though?

B-ex (1:50 p.m.)

I’ll tell you later, Rob.

1:50 p.m.

Just don’t give him any.

Without me there to film it for posterity.

Robbie (1:52 p.m.)

I’m so confused.

Wait…Is it Texas or Oregon?

Andre (1:53 p.m.)

It’s Oregon.

I think.

Cat! Now I’m not sure!

 Vega (The Intolerable One) (1:55 p.m.)

OMG We’re in Oregon u nerds

Robbie (1:55 p.m.)

Trina’s in this group text?

Cat (1:55 p.m.)

hiiiiiiiiiiiiii trina!!!!!!!!!!!

Andre (1:57 p.m.)

I’m down, btw. The ‘rents are springing for my plane ticket.

They coordinated with Tori’s dad to get the same flight.

Vega (The Intolerable One) (1:58 p.m.)

Hi, Cat

Cat (1:58 p.m.)

yay!

Cat (2:00 p.m.)

we need plane tickets?

2:00 p.m.

*sigh*

Andre (2:01 p.m.)

I’ll talk to my parents. You can pay them back, Lil’ Red.

Cat (2:01 p.m.)

🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂
Jade shook her head fondly as she emerged up front, finding Tori still at the booth, though
sans either Aspen or Willa. A frown was on her face as she stared blankly at a textbook that
was open before her. Tori had both elbows on the table, fingers massaging her temples,
glasses discarded. The pain was obvious on her face, and Jade felt a pang at the sight.

“Hey,” she said, making sure to keep her voice down and squeezing Tori’s shoulder slightly.
“You okay?”
Tori gave her a weak smile and reached up to place her hand over Jade’s. “Headache. Too
much trig.”

Jade nodded and reached over to put the worksheet into the book before closing it. She really
had gotten good at interpreting Tori, Jade thought. Short sentences like that generally meant
that her brain was misfiring and she didn’t want to talk much because the stuttering got worse
the more she did. Blank looks off in the distance were because Tori was dwelling on what had
happened and she needed a distraction. Unless she was outside on the deck; in which case,
she needed space because she felt smothered.

“You up for the ride home?” Jade asked.

Tori nodded and slid the book into her bag before standing. Jade waved to Georgie as they
left, though both were going to see him again in a few hours at rehearsal. The drive back to
the beach house was uneventful, though Tori immediately grabbed Jade’s hand. She had no
complaint about that, either.

Holly was working on a laptop at the dining room table, papers spread over the surface. She
waved absently as she clicked away. Tori got to use the office for her virtual therapy sessions,
which is why they had returned to the Casa de…actually, Jade had no idea what Holly’s
maiden name was, now that she thought about it. Regardless, Jade was left to her own
devices for about an hour, which meant she was pulling out the video from the previous day’s
rehearsal to make a few last-minute notes.

She did this downstairs on her laptop, headphones on while Trina watched some mindless
soap opera. Sitting quietly next to the eldest of the Vega sisters was still weird and it would
never not be to Jade’s mind. She was fairly certain Trina felt the same, because when Jade sat
down on the furthest part of the huge couch as possible, Trina still shifted to put even more
distance between them.

Jade would be lying if she said she didn’t think about moving closer just to mess with her.

Trina was forgotten quickly, though, as Jade focused on the tape from the night before. Even
with the crappy audio, she could tell the play was coming together nicely despite Thaddeus’s
attempts to derail it. Or maybe it was in spite of. Every time he tried to do something
ridiculous, the cast and crew seemed to come together stronger than before. Kellis and Willa,
in particular, were gelling well, though Jade felt there was something off about the death
scene at the end. She couldn’t put her finger on it, as Kellis’ performance was decent enough.

“He needs to be less melodramatic.”

The sudden voice in her ear made Jade turn her head and then fall off the couch with a yelp
because Trina’s face was RIGHTFUCKINGTHERE. “Shit, Vega!”

“Jade! Language!” Holly’s voice came from upstairs.

She winced and then shot a glare at Trina. “Sorry, Holly,” she shouted back.
Using the couch to push herself up, Jade rose and took a few deep breaths to get her heartbeat
back under control. When she felt she wasn’t going to start screaming, Jade gave Trina a look
that should have caused her to burst into flames and asked, “What. Do you. Want?”

“What’s his name, the dying guy, he needs to be less melodramatic,” Trina repeated herself
slowly, like Jade was a particularly slow student. “You’re doing Cyrano , right? Isn’t his
whole deal being, like, super brave? Your guy is doing more of a comedic fop.”

Jade narrowed her eyes and rewound the video to the beginning of Cyrano’s death. The idea
was that Cyrano, knowing the end is coming, wants to go down fighting, and, thus, battles to
his death against the last foes he has left; lies and compromise. His last words are to show
that, while he was dying and had lost nearly everything, he never lost his swagger.

Kellis, however, had taken the swagger and camped it up to a ridiculous degree. Now that she
was aware, Jade couldn’t unsee it. The scene went from a dramatic end to the main character,
much less the whole play, to a comedic one. It should be easy enough to correct, Jade
thought, since they still had the better part of a month before the curtain rises.

Her shock that Trina actually got something related to acting right must have shown on her
face, because the older girl positively swelled up in pride. “You’re welcome, Spooky.”

“How?” Jade said with a stunned expression on her face. “You’re absolutely terrible at
everything .”

Trina let out an offended scoff. “Rude. And I’m obviously not, because I graduated. Unlike
some people.”

It took a moment for what she meant to register. When it did, Jade looked at her with
disbelief. “I’m a year younger than you, idiot. Of course I haven’t graduated yet.”

Trina just shrugged and waved as she walked past Jade toward her bedroom. “All I hear are
excuses, Spooky. If you don’t mind, my millions of followers on SplashFace are waiting for
my next vlog.”

“You have fifty followers,” Jade called after her. “And forty of them are just creepers begging
you to show your tits. And that one dude with the foot fetish.”

Trina didn’t acknowledge Jade before shutting her door, though the younger of the two didn’t
miss the smirk as she did so. Jade groaned as she realized she just let Trina know she
followed her SplashFace account, otherwise how would she know exactly how many
followers it had. Damn Vegas. All of them.

Jade snapped her laptop shut and stomped up the stairs as much as her sprained ankle
allowed. It was more ‘stomp-gingerly put foot down-stomp,’ but the intent was there. Holly
barely acknowledged Jade as she shuffled into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of
water, muttering something about the market not doing what it was supposed to. Jade opted
to head out onto the back deck so as to not disturb her.
She was a little surprised to see Tori already in one of the loungers. A glance at her phone
confirmed that, theoretically, there was still twenty minutes left on her therapy session. Tori
didn’t make any indication she knew Jade was there even as she lowered herself into the next
chair; Tori’s gaze, instead, was locked on the ocean beyond. Tear streaks were on the cheek
Jade could see, the one with the scar, which suggested therapy didn’t go well.

Or maybe that was a sign it did. Jade really wasn’t sure what a normal reaction to therapy
was, since she always had just ended up pissed off when her parents had made her go right
after the divorce.

The silence between them stretched out for a few minutes, the only interruption being Holly
stating she was going back into the office, now that Tori was done in there. Jade was tempted
to try and engage Tori several times, but talked herself out of it each time, knowing that she
would open up on her own time and forcing it was counter-productive. She also took a
moment to mentally congratulate herself on her personal growth, because six-months-ago
Jade would have given zero shits about upsetting Tori, or anyone else, for that matter.

Finally, Tori took a deep breath and said, “Sorry. It got…intense today.”

“Thursday?” Jade asked. It had been the second session with her therapist since the Karaoke
Incident, but she had no idea how much Tori actually talked about it.

“Yes and no,” Tori said with a small shrug. “We got into it. But we also…I needed to talk
about that night.”

It took Jade a moment to understand what Tori meant. “Oh. The accident.”

“Yeah,” Tori said, voice barely above a whisper. “When I was talking with Andre the other
night, I, uh, realized how bad it was. Like it finally set in, if that makes sense.”

“Not…really,” Jade admitted, a pained expression on her face. “Can I be honest?”

“Sure?”

“I don’t understand any of what you’re going through,” Jade said in a rush. “It’s all so…
foreign? I don’t know if that’s the right word or not. But I am trying.”

“I know,” Tori said softly. “And I can’t tell you how much that means, Jade.”

“I’m terrified I’m going to break you. You know I’m not good at…people.” The admission
slipped out, but Jade didn’t freak out like she had when she accidentally came out to Dusty.
In truth, a small weight came off her shoulders.

Tori let out a deep breath and, after a moment, stood from her lounger and walked over to
Jade’s. “Scooch.”

Jade frowned up at her, but shifted over as much as she could. Tori lowered herself down and
suddenly they were touching everywhere . Shoulder to feet, they were connected. It wasn’t
unwanted, exactly, but it was overwhelming. Even more so when Tori laced their fingers and
leaned her head on Jade’s shoulder. The beanie scratched at her chin, but Jade forced herself
to not flinch away.

A war waged within Jade. She knew, intellectually, there was nothing wrong with cuddling
with someone you cared a lot about, someone who only wanted to provide reassurance. It
shouldn’t matter what gender that person was, if they even had one. Love was supposed to be
love; you didn’t have a say in what the heart wants. Intellectually, she knew that.

Seventeen years of conditioning didn’t go away overnight, however. Even when the second
prettiest girl in the school (after herself, of course) expressed interest in you and you knew
you were into her. Part of Jade, a bigger part than she wanted to admit, was uncomfortable
with Tori being close like this because it was definitely not in the way friends would lean on
each other. This was so much more. She wanted to embrace it, to lean into it, but that not-
insignificant fear held her back. It was cliche as all hell, but Jade felt like there was a devil
and an angel on her shoulders, whispering into her ears. The louder voice was her father.

Unnatural.

Abomination.

Unworthy of anyone’s love.

Disappointment.

Beck’s voice was the other she imagined, weirdly enough. Even after their breakup, he
remained her moral touchstone. As she struggled to be better thanks to a terrified promise
made to a deity she didn’t really believe in, Jade would ask herself frequently, ‘What would
Beck think?’ Would he say she’d gone too far with a scathing comment or some act of petty
revenge? In a way, she was still seeking his approval, Jade supposed. His voice on her
shoulder wasn’t as loud as her father’s, but it was persistent, offering a rebuttal for every
poisonous condemnation.

Love is love, no matter who with.

There is nothing wrong with you.

You have people who love and care for you.

Be proud of who you are fighting to become.

Even as her father and Beck waged their war in Jade’s head, Tori cut through the noise to
reach her. Somehow, Jade reflected, the other girl had always had that ability, getting her to
listen when others struggled to. “You’re not giving yourself enough credit. Yeah, you can be a
raging gank at times…”

“Oh ,” Jade said reflexively.

“You just admitted as much, so don’t give me that,” Tori chided. “But I’ve also seen the other
sides of you. You can be really caring and sweet."
"I am deeply offended you think I'm sweet."

"If you don’t want people to see your sweet side, take down the video with the bunny," Tori
said with a smug smile. "You’re definitely passionate. You protest otherwise, but I know you
care about all of us.”

She trailed off with a sniffle and Jade closed her eyes to fight her own tears. With a shaky
breath, Tori continued, “You didn’t have to help me actually perform Andre’s Christmas
song. You could have just given me the idea and been done with it. Then there was your
concern over Robbie’s mental health when Rex got sucked into that fan…”

Jade grunted. “Still say you should followed the plan and let that loathsome fucking puppet
die.”

“Hindsight, you’re probably right,” Tori said with a sigh. “And Cat told me you were the one
that got her to move in with her Nona.”

“It’s Cat,” Jade said weakly. “Someone has to keep an eye on her, otherwise she’ll lick laser
beams to see what flavor they are.”

Tori chuckled. “Doesn’t make it any less awesome of you to watch out for her. And me. I
know I’m all over the place. Especially after…” She swallowed. “After I…since I…died.”

Jade sucked in a breath and looked down at the top of Tori’s head. It was the first time that
she could ever remember Tori acknowledging how bad that night had been. The injuries were
one thing; it was hard to ignore the physical proof. Her two minute trip to the afterlife (or
whatever was beyond this world) was easily swept under the rug to be ignored, since Tori
didn’t walk around with a blinking neon sign above her head that read, ‘I died, ask me how.’

Tori shifted a little and looked up at Jade. With the cramped nature of the lounger, their faces
were so very close, and Jade’s eye unconsciously flicked down to Tori’s lips for a brief
moment. “You aren’t going to hurt me. Maybe a year ago, but not anymore. Have a little faith
in yourself, Jade. Because I do.”

A stray tear leaked out of the corner of Jade’s eye at that. Four days with the Vegas had
shown her what a real family dynamic looked like, one where everyone was supportive of
each other. Even Trina hadn’t been too horrible. And she had a sneaking suspicion that Holly
already had Jade filed under ‘surrogate daughter’ in her mental filing cabinet.

The thing was, Jade didn’t actively hate the thought like she thought she would, either.
Everyone needs to know that people care for them, even raging ganks. For the longest time,
Jade relied on Beck and only him for that. Sure, she was friends with Cat and was around
Andre and Robbie by association through Beck, but there was a distance between them and
her that, yes, was entirely self-enforced. Those walls were fated to come down the moment
Tori sang that damn song at that damn showcase for her damn sister.

Now she had, like, an actual support system. It was fucking weird.
Jade tilted her head back with a groan, giving her some space from Tori. “What is it with you
Vega women getting me all sappy and shit?”

“It’s a talent,” Tori said with a small grin.

“The foot archery was better,” Jade said.

“Well,” Tori scoffed.

“Why did you have that with you, anyway?”

“Just in case.”

Jade raised her eyebrow. “In case of what? You needed to defend us from an army of tiny
Orcs?”

At Tori’s confused nose scrunch (which wasn’t at all adorable), Jade let out an exaggerated
groan. “There is no way you haven’t seen Lord of the Rings . I’ve seen them and I hate
fantasy movies.”

Tori shrugged. “Why do you hate them?”

“Too predictable,” Jade said. “The bad guys always die, the good guys always survive. You
know what’s going to happen five minutes into the movie. It’s boring.”

“Life is not about the beginning or the end,” Tori said. She started playing with Jade’s fingers
a little which, yeah, wow. “The moments between are what matters.”

Jade frowned as the words tickled something in the back of her mind. “Why does that sound
familiar?”

Red flared on Tori’s cheeks. “It, um, was your fortune from Nozu. Y’know, our date.”

“You…remember that?” Jade tried to think back to that night, but her memory couldn’t even
pull up the fact that they received fortune cookies, much less what they said.

If possible, Tori’s face got even redder. Jade was worried she was going to combust. “I, uh…
you’re going to laugh at me.”

Jade nodded. “Oh, most likely.”

“Gank,” Tori muttered, though Jade could see the small smile on her lips. “I may have kept
them.”

Jade didn’t laugh, though she did roll her eyes. “Of course you did. You’re sappy like that.
What was yours?”

“Stop eating now. The squid came from the back of a Gremlin.”
Silence followed that for a long moment before Jade made a disbelieving noise. “No fucking
way.”

“It was handwritten, too.”

Jade stared blankly at Tori for a long moment before she shifted awkwardly in the tight space
to pull her phone out of her pocket. After some angry typing in the group text, Jade saw Tori
frown as her phone chimed with a notification. The laugh that followed might have been the
brightest sound that had come from Tori since the wreck.

3:55 p.m.

DO NOT EAT AT NOZU.

Cat (3:55 p.m.)

y?

B-ex (3:56 p.m.)

It must be serious. She’s using caps lock.

Andre (3:56 p.m.)

Why the code red on Nozu?

3:57 p.m.

THEY USE HATCHBACK SQUID

B-ex (4:00 p.m.)

Gonna need a little more than that, Jade.

Andre (4:00 p.m.)

Same. Is that an endangered species or smthn?

4:01 p.m.

NO, YOU IDIOTS. THEY LITERALLY USE SQUID FROM THE BACK OF A 1970S
HATCHBACK.

Cat (4:02 p.m.)

oh! gus! my brother buys all his seafood from him!

B-ex (4:02 p.m.)

…
 And RIP Nozu.

Andre (4:03 p.m.)

Oh, man. I just had squid sashimi from there a couple of hours ago!

Robbie (4:03 p.m.)

I did too!

Cat (4:05 p.m.)

r ur fingers tingling? web ER says that’s a symptom of seafood poisoning.

Andre (4:05 p.m.)

Oh, God. They are!

Robbie (4:06 p.m.)

My fingers are fine, though my tongue feels funny.

Like when I licked that outlet because Rex dared me too.

Cat (4:06 p.m.)

uh oh

Andre (4:07 p.m.)

Uh oh?

Why ‘uh oh?’

Andre (4:10 p.m.)

Don’t say ‘uh oh’ and leave me hanging Cat!

Robbie (4:11 p.m.)

Maybe it’s a good ‘uh oh.’ Like ‘uh oh, Spaghetti-Os.’

Please tell me it’s ‘uh oh, Spaghetti-Os’ Cat.

Cat (4:12 pm.)

we should probably get u guys to the er

Andre (4:13 p.m.)

This can’t be how I go out. I’ve got too much left to do.
 Too many girls I haven’t dated yet.

B-ex (4:14 p.m.)

I’m on my way.

Jade exchanged incredulous looks with Tori before both broke out in laughter. They settled
back into the lounger, with Jade wrapping an arm around Tori’s shoulders. To get more
comfortable, she told herself. That’s all it was. Tori didn’t seem to mind, though, as she
snuggled into Jade with a small sigh of contentment.

On her shoulder, Beck’s voice became just a little louder.

 Chapter 10

When the morning of July 3 dawned, Jade somehow found herself an oasis of calm in the
midst of Vega chaos.

“TRINA! WE NEED TO LEAVE IN TEN MINUTES.”

“I KNOW! I CAN’T FIND MY RED FAZZINIS.”

“WHY DO YOU NEED TO WEAR THOSE RIDICULOUS SHOES TO THE AIRPORT?”

“THERE MIGHT BE PAPARAZZI!”

“IT’S PORTLAND, NOT LA!”

Jade sighed into her coffee. Working at Georgie’s had given her the gift of getting used to
waking up ridiculously early, so she had been ready for the drive before even Holly. Neither
Vega sister, it turned out, were morning people, with Trina being the more difficult of the pair
to wake up only in that she was a puncher. Tori, at least, just wanted to burrow back under the
covers until she was ready to wake up on her own. Holly had forced her to set her alarm on
an actual alarm clock the night before and to put it across the room so that Tori had to
physically get out of bed to turn it off.

Jade respected the evil genius of the move.

The squeak of the third step leading upstairs drew Jade’s attention, finding Tori shuffling
through the living room and toward the kitchen. Thanks to her minimalist beauty regimen,
Tori had been the last to wake up, needing only a few minutes for the bathroom and to throw
on whatever clothes she happened to grab. It actually made Jade a little jealous and she
considered starting to put less effort into her own makeup, if only for those precious few
more minutes of slumber.

“Coffee,” Tori mumbled as she stepped up into the kitchen. Jade just wordlessly gestured to
the pot and the travel mug that Holly had already set out. She watched as Tori poured the last
of the precious liquid and then dumped enough sugar and cream into it that Jade doubted that
it actually tasted like coffee anymore. What a waste of a perfectly good house blend.

Holly came back upstairs and let out a breath of relief at seeing Tori leaning against the
counter. “Good, you’re ready.”

Tori just grunted and jerked her shoulders. Holly shook her head fondly and pressed a kiss to
her forehead, after which Tori pulled the beanie on. “We’re leaving as soon as Trina puts on
shoes that don’t have ten-inch heels. You girls might as well load up into the car.”

Jade downed the rest of her mug and rinsed it in the sink before following Tori outside and
into Holly's SUV. The third row bench seat had been set up earlier that morning by Holly and
Jade, though if Tori noticed she didn’t say anything. Jade hoped she just assumed it was to
have more room for the drive back so Trina didn’t have to practically sit in one of their laps.

Musical notes sounded in the cabin as they settled into the second row and Tori pulled out her
PearPhone, letting out a breathy laugh that managed to be both fond and exasperated at the
same time. “Cat’s at it early this morning. This is the third excited cat meme she’s sent me in
the last ten minutes.”

Jade rolled her eyes and shot off a text to Andre to take Cat’s phone from her before she
ruined the surprise. At Tori’s questioning, if not bleary, look, Jade fibbed, “Asked Andre to
check her for bibble.”

“She’s not still addicted to that stuff, is she?” Tori asked. Out the windshield, Jade saw Holly
finally almost shove Trina out of the house.

“She went cold turkey after…well,” Jade said, trailing off, not willing to break the mood by
bringing up the accident.

“Ah,” Tori said and turned her head to stare out the window. Jade cursed herself for causing
that thousand-yard look and searched for a way to get Tori’s mind out of wherever it was she
had retreated to. Thankfully, Trina and Holly arrived not long after and their bickering
provided enough of a distraction that Tori was able to pull herself out of her own mind.

The two hour drive to Portland International Airport went fairly smoothly, thankfully. With
the Fourth of July being mid-week, not as many people were traveling for it, which left traffic
moderately normal. Jade did find her hand occupied by Tori’s a few times, however; mostly
after a semi would pass and the turbulence would rock the vehicle slightly. And she had to
put up with Trina’s attempts at singing with the radio, which was back to terrible. Jade was
starting to formulate the theory that Trina did half the shit she did on purpose to get attention.

By the time they reached PDX, Jade was ready to be out of the SUV. The sun was shining
brightly, a welcome change from when they left Astoria, and the temperature had climbed
high enough that Jade shrugged off her jacket. She tossed it back into the SUV blindly,
drawing a shout of surprise from Tori when it hit her in the face. Jade just grinned at the glare
she received and shrugged.

The four women made their way into the terminal, with Holly immediately going to an
arrivals board to check the flight information. “Looks like the flight is on time for once.
Should be landing in about forty-five minutes.”

“You mean I had almost an hour longer to search for my Fazzinis?” Trina nearly screeched.
“Mom!”

Holly sighed. “I’m going to get some more coffee. Possibly with rum in it.”

“Mom!” Trina repeated as Holly turned and walked toward the Skybucks that was across the
concourse. Tori and Jade came to a silent agreement to avoid the argument, as Trina was hot
on Holly’s heels. Instead, they found a nearby bench and dropped down, Jade content to
people-watch.
It was a favorite pastime of hers. She would set up somewhere with a lot of people, like an
airport, and try to see how many different backstories she could come up with. For instance,
the hugging family by a souvenir store became a son returning home for the first time in
years from a mission trip to somewhere in Africa. He would say all the right words, smile the
right smile, but it would never quite reach his eyes. He was haunted by the horrors he saw.
Horrors he unknowingly brought home with him.

Damn, Jade thought and immediately reached into her messenger bag for a composition
notebook she always had on her. That actually has potential.

Bending over the notebook, Jade started scribbling as detailed a synopsis as she could. The
idea may not go anywhere; truth be told, most of the ideas in the notebook never came to life.
That didn’t mean it wasn’t worth keeping the record, as she may one day revisit it. A few of
her class projects had started from hastily jotted entries in the notebook, as had Well Wishes.

Time slipped by Jade as she tweaked the idea a couple of times, fleshing it out as much as she
could. It took her a long while to realize something was off. Jade looked up from her
notebook with a frown and to her left, cursing herself for not noticing Tori was on the verge
of a panic attack. She was fidgeting with her hands, wringing them constantly, and a slight
sheen of sweat was glistening on her face. Her chest was rising quickly as Tori kept taking
small breaths.

Jade immediately tossed aside the notebook and knelt down in front of Tori. “Hey, what’s
going on?”

“T-too…too many…” Tori stuttered.

Jade looked around and saw that, indeed, the terminal had gotten crowded. She sighed and
said, “You should have said something.”

Tori shook her head quickly. “Didn’t…didn’t w-want to…um…you were so…focused.”

Rolling her eyes, Jade stood up and looked around for Holly, spotting her still at the
Skybucks and facing the security checkpoint, where David, Cat, and Andre would be coming
from after deplaning. Telling Tori to stay put, she trotted over, explaining the situation
quickly and that she was going to take Tori outside to get some fresh air. Holly was plainly
torn between wanting to make sure Tori was all right, but also needing to wait for the others.

“We’ll just be outside the doors,” Jade said. “I’ll get her to do some of that grounding sh…
tuff that Willa showed us.”

Holly met Jade’s gaze for a long moment before nodding. “If it gets any worse, you run and
get me. Understand?”

“You’ll hear me scream,” Jade promised and spun on her heels to collect Tori. Without
thinking, she clasped hands and collected their bags, slinging both over her shoulder. Jade
kept a tight grip on Tori’s hand as she wove through the crowd toward an exit. A few people
did double-takes as she dragged Tori with her across the unloading zone toward the short-
term parking lot across the way, hoping that was open enough.
She paused by a bus stop bench and turned to face Tori, who had her eyes closed and was still
breathing shallowly. Jade squeezed the hand that was still gripped tightly and asked, “Do you
remember those exercises Willa had you do?”

Tori nodded with a jerk of her head. “Sh-she’s been…going…over…over them with me.”

“Well? What are they?”

“Five…five things I s-see,” Tori said after taking a deep breath. She forced her eyes open and
glanced around. “O-okay. Um…blue sky. R-red con…convertible. B-bird, um, poop.
Lawyer…ad on the…bus bench. Y-your eyes.”

Jade smirked. “Are you always going to say that?”

“They’re…they’re pretty eyes,” Tori stammered, but had a shy smile on her face. “Four, um,
four things I can feel. Sweaty. Warmth…from the…sun on my face. Rock in my shoe. Your
hand.”

“This seems like an inappropriate time to flirt. What’s next?”

“Who says…I’m flirting?” Tori said. Her voice was a little stronger. “Y-you’re the one…
holding my hand. Three I can h-hear. Horns honking. Someone on their ph-phone…”

“TORI!”

“Wait…what…Cat?”

Tori had just enough time to drop Jade’s hand and spin around before a red velvet missile
slammed into her. The impact was great enough that both girls stumbled back into Jade, who
found herself wrapping her arms around them both and taking a couple of staggered steps
back to keep from falling to the concrete of the parking lot.

“YAY!” Cat shouted. “It’s a Tori sandwich! Andre, you should be the other bun!”

Jade felt Tori stiffen in her arms and had to recoil a little to avoid a broken nose when Tori
snapped her head up. Jade followed her gaze and saw Andre jogging across the crosswalk,
followed by the rest of the Vegas. He had a duffel bag in one hand and a suitcase that was
garishly pink in the other, which meant either Cat hadn’t bothered with baggage claim or had
dropped hers when she saw Tori.

A soft smile was on Andre’s lips as he came up to the three of them. “Hey, Tor.”

Suddenly, another set of arms was encircling them. Jade was squirming in the embrace,
wanting to back out of it, but Andre’s body had trapped her arms against Cat’s back. Tori was
still stiff and Jade could tell she was still breathing rapidly thanks to how closely they were
all pressed together.

“Guys,” Jade said. When that didn’t get their attention, she repeated herself louder and a lot
more harshly than she maybe wanted. “Back off.”
Andre started and retreated a couple of steps, a look of hurt and confusion on his face. Jade
let go of Cat and stepped around her as the rest of the Vegas had caught up by then and Holly
was immediately in front of Tori, who was looking pale. She gave Jade a pointed look and
then glanced down at Cat.

“Hey, Cat,” Jade said softly, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Tori needs some space for a
moment.”

Cat gasped and jumped back, a guilty look on her face. “I’m sorry. You told me to not come
on too strong, but I forgot.”

Jade sighed and gently pushed Cat back toward where Andre and Trina were standing. David
gave her a small smile as he slid past and up to Tori, who let out a choked sob that sent a
pang through her. “It’s not your fault, Cat,” she said. Jade caught Andre’s eyes next.
“Seriously. She was already freaking out because of the crowd. That’s why we were outside. I
was trying to calm her down before you got in.”

Andre nodded at that and looked back to where Tori was being embraced by her parents,
concern plain on his face. The boy really never could keep his emotions to himself. Jade
glanced down at Cat, finding her wringing her hands and bobbing on her toes. With an eye
roll, Jade wrapped an arm around the smaller girl’s shoulders, and felt a warmth roll over her
as Cat leaned into the embrace. It wasn’t the same warmth as when Tori did it; this was more
affectionate than anything. Jade had to hide a smirk as she realized her hormones really had
evened out after admitting she was also into women.

The foursome waited by the bus bench for several minutes as Tori fought to get past her
panic. The entire time, Holly and David were talking to her just low enough that their
murmurs were lost in the buzz of the airport. Jade wanted to run over there and take over, but
let herself be anchored by Cat, who had her wrapped in a side-hug so tight Jade was certain
her rib cage was going to be bruised by the morning. Cat’s strength always caught everyone
off-guard, even those who should have known better.

Finally, Tori visibly let out a heavy breath and threw herself into her father’s arms. The
smallest, tiniest bit of jealousy flared in Jade, as it inevitably did when she saw any of her
friends’ fathers acting like, well, a dad. She stamped it out quickly lest she let it bleed out,
since that would most likely not end well.

Next thing Jade knew, Tori was throwing herself at Andre, who caught her with a surprised
laugh and a spin. They clung to each other for a long hug and Jade could feel Cat vibrating
with excitement next to her. The squeal coming from her was also starting to hit dog-whistle
levels, which caused both Jade and Trina to exchange pained glances. Finally, Tori and Andre
parted, a huge grin on both faces, even if hers was marred by tear streaks on her cheeks, and
Tori turned to Cat. The smaller girl didn’t hesitate to launch herself at Tori again.

“I can’t, can’t believe you’re here,” Tori said, her voice a little watery still, but much more
collected overall. A few stutters still leaked through, though. “I’m so, so sorry…I, uh…I
just…God, why, um…I c-can’t…”
Jade sighed and reached into her bag, pulling out a neon green stress ball. Which she then
threw at Tori’s head.

“JADE! STOP DOING THAT!”

Jade shrugged unapologetically. “It works, though.”

Tori glared, but Jade noted she bent to pick up the ball and started fidgeting with it even as
Cat reattached herself to Tori. “It’s still mean.”

“I could start doing percussive maintenance.”

“Percussive maintenance?”

“She means slapping you upside the head,” Trina said with a glare at Jade. Tori added an
offended scoff.

“Let’s refrain from potentially causing another head injury,” Holly said from behind the
group. Jade let out a melodramatic groan and threw her hands up in the air. Holly smiled
fondly and asked, “Are we ready to load up? I imagine you’re hungry.”

“Food!” Cat shouted and started walking, still attached to Tori, who laughed softly and
allowed herself to be dragged along. Andre trailed after, again lugging both his and Cat’s
luggage, which left Jade side-by-side with Trina. That wasn’t as repulsive as it used to be, she
reflected.

They piled into the SUV and headed to a chain restaurant close to the airport. Jade couldn’t
help the swell of jealousy when Cat took a seat on one side of Tori, while Andre claimed the
other. She had no right; it wasn’t like they were dating and Tori hadn’t seen either of them in
person in months. Just the same, Jade had gotten used to being the only one Tori leaned on
and a small, petty part of her didn’t want to give that up. It made her feel special, needed.

It was easy to let go of that feeling, however, when seeing how happy Tori was. Cat hadn’t let
up on touching her since the second hug; it was almost as if Cat was afraid Tori was going to
disappear the moment they weren’t in contact anymore. Andre kept sneaking glances when
he thought Tori wasn’t looking, which Jade took as him trying to take in the changes without
outright staring. She couldn’t blame him; she did the exact same thing when Tori first showed
up in Georgie’s weeks ago.

“Right, Jade?”

She blinked and realized she had completely zoned out the discussion that had been going on.
Andre was looking at her expectantly, his eyes trying to communicate something that Jade
couldn’t decipher. “Um…I…yes?”

Beside her, Trina laughed into her lemonade and muttered, “He’s trying to convince Tori she
didn’t miss anything crazy at school.”

“Oh,” Jade said. Weirdly, Tori hadn’t asked her about Hollywood Arts at all, outside of
questions about her make-up work. Jade had figured Tori would want all the details that she
missed. Stuff like Jade and Cat’s (embarrassing in retrospect) competition over Beck’s friend
Moose or the flour bomber. Or the picture of her ‘picking her nose’ on PearMaps. Or the
second, worse one that made it look like Robbie was making out with her against one of the
Asphalt Café tables and, now that Jade thought on it, maybe Andre had a point trying to
downplay things to Tori. “Right. Yeah, pretty boring.”

“Yep,” Cat agreed happily. “It was all normal. There definitely wasn’t someone named
Ponnie pretending to be you.”

Andre and Jade both groaned, with Trina letting out a frustrated, “Cat!”

“Whatty?”

Tori leaned away from Cat and gave them all searching looks. Andre was suddenly interested
in one of those stupid, random pieces of memorabilia that was on the walls, while Trina had
to go to the bathroom. Jade avoided Tori’s gaze by turning to the Vega parents, hoping they
would take the lead here. What she found, instead, were confused and angry looks from both
of them.

“Guys,” Tori said hesitantly. “What is Cat talking about?”

“Yes,” David added. “What, exactly, is she talking about?”

As Andre was still focused on a tin rendering of Marilyn Monroe and Cat was oblivious to
the sudden tension, the explanation apparently fell on Jade. Because fuck her life. “Uh. So,
about a week after you left LA, people started seeing your ‘ghost’ around the school.”

Tori’s face scrunched up. “My…ghost.”

“Yeah,” Jade said slowly. “Like, just flashes of what looked like you in the distance. Or your
locker flickered. It was even replaced with a door that said ‘Make It Rot.’ Stuff like that.”

David frowned. “And it was this Ponnie person?”

“Fawn,” Jade corrected. “She was a student at Hollywood Arts before Tori. Sikowitz said she
got kicked out for being a nutjob. I guess she decided if Tori could take her place, then she
could take Tori’s? I don’t know. Cat was the only one that talked with her.”

Cat perked up at her name. “What’d I do?”

“Talked with Fawn,” Jade said, frustration in her voice.

“Who?”

“Ponnie,” both Andre and Jade shouted.

Recognition flared in Cat’s eyes. “Oh! Yeah, she was weird. I thought we weren’t going to
tell Tori about that?”
Jade swallowed the impulse to yell. They were in public, after all. David turned to Holly and
said, “We should probably call Helen.”

“After the holiday, David,” Holly said with a significant look. “Try to remember you’re on
vacation, honey.”

“Fine,” David said with a pout. “Ah, food.”

It was such a dad move to announce the arrival of the waitress that it immediately broke the
tension. Tori caught Jade’s eye with a small, embarrassed smile and turned her attention to
her chicken wrap. Cat squealed and dug into her buffalo nuggets with a gusto that was,
frankly, terrifying.

Lunch passed quickly enough. As they were making their way back to the SUV, Tori made
sure to grab Jade’s hand and pulled her along with Cat to the back row. It was a tight fit,
helped along with the fact that Cat was tiny. Jade normally would have been nearly crawling
out of her skin at the close quarters, but knowing Tori still needed her, that she was still Tori’s
anchor, was like a balm over a burn.

They spent the drive back catching up, with Tori keeping a grip on Jade’s hand. Andre made
note of it when he first turned around in his seat to be in the conversation, raising his
eyebrows at Jade. She just shot him a glare, though he just grinned and held his hands up, as
if to say, ‘Not going to say anything’ and returned his attention to Tori describing her make-
up assignments. Jade thought Cat was going to explode with excitement at the mention of
Tori being Willa’s understudy.

“Senior year is going to be so great,” Cat said, dancing in her seat. “We’ll do so many plays
and we’ll sing all sorts of duets…”

Beside Jade, Tori stiffened again and Jade exchanged a glance with Trina before jumping in
to interrupt. “Hey, Cat, don’t those clouds look like cows?”

Cat gasped and leaned forward to look out the window beside Trina. Jade turned to Tori and
asked softly, “We okay?”

“Yeah,” Tori whispered. She emphasized her words with a squeeze of Jade’s hand. “Yeah,
I’m good. Just…don’t want to be a rain cloud on her senior year.”

“It’s Cat,” Jade said. “We’ll just keep her distracted with cereal and keys.”

Tori snorted softly and leaned her head on Jade’s shoulder. “I’m not waiting around in the
nurse’s office for her to pass your house key again.”

Jade pulled a face. “Never bring that up again. I had that key melted and just made a new
one. Several new ones, actually.”

That got a small chuckle from Tori. Jade noticed Andre was again watching them
contemplatively, but any comment he was about to make was interrupted by shattering glass.
Tori gave a fond scoff and said, “Must you have such an obnoxious notification sound?”
“Talk to me when yours isn’t ‘Make It Shine,’” Jade shot back. She pulled up the text and let
her head fall back with a loud groan. “They’re making me sing tomorrow.”

“Yeah, wow, that sounds so terrible,” Andre deadpanned. “To be forced to do the thing we’re
literally going to school to do. How horrible.”

Jade glared at him, then at her phone and the Saddle Mountain group text she somehow had
found herself in. Aspen was currently pestering her about performing with the band at some
music festival that was part of the county fair, in addition to coming to a ‘live practice’ that
night at Scott and Nick’s, whatever that meant. They had been negotiating for a few days
about Jade joining them on stage; by that, Jade was trying not to, and Aspen and Nick had
come down from ‘play the full set’ to ‘one or two songs.’ Scott wasn’t pressuring her, but she
knew he wanted at least one. And she knew which one, also.

“Tell them the band name,” Tori said, looking up at Jade with a mischievous grin.

“Tori,” Jade said warningly. She could already hear Cat’s squeal and Andre’s laughter and it
grated on her nerves. God, Trina was suddenly the only one on her side, and that’s just
because she was trying her hardest to ignore them and nap on the way home.

Andre’s face broke out into a wide grin. “C’mon, Jade. How bad can it be?”

Jade huffed and turned her head, muttering under her breath. Tori bumped their shoulders
together and said, “Didn’t catch that.”

“Saddle Mountain,” Jade said louder. “They're a bluegrass band. Happy? I’m a bluegrass
person now.”

“My brother was in a bluegrass band once,” Cat chirped. “He played the power drill.”

Jade wasn’t alone in giving Cat a look that was somewhere between ‘amused’ and ‘fucking
terrified.’ Andre cleared his throat awkwardly and said, “Uh, Lil’ Red, I’m pretty sure that
power drills aren’t part of bluegrass bands.”

“Oh,” Cat said, face scrunched up in thought. “Then he practiced a lot for nothing.”

A silent agreement was made to just ignore Cat’s brother and his (probably illegal, Jade
assumed) activities. They spent a good chunk of the trip back to Astoria with Andre
peppering Jade with questions about the band; how many musicians, what instruments did
they play, how many original songs did they have, that kind of thing. She was tempted to just
call Scott and have him talk to Andre, directly. That way she could possibly squeeze an
hour’s nap.

It wasn’t to be, however, as a particularly fast-moving semi buffeted the SUV pretty sharply.
Tori immediately latched onto Jade’s bicep tightly; so much so it actually hurt. Jade and Trina
both had to talk her down, whispering words of encouragement, with Jade prying the fingers
loose just enough for circulation to restart. Andre watched the whole scene play out with
sadness written on every inch of his face. Thankfully, Cat had passed out by that point.
Jade pulled out her phone and shot off a text one-handed. Andre frowned at her when his
phone signaled the notification. Stop staring at her like she’s a wounded puppy.

He glared and sent back, She’s not OK, is she?

Better than she was . Thankfully, Jade had turned her sounds off after the initial Saddle
Mountain text. Plus, Tori was doing her breathing exercises, so her eyes were shut and she
wasn’t aware of them having the silent conversation. But not nearly as OK as she wants
everyone to believe. Cars are still rough for her.

She almost added, so is singing , but held off. Jade didn’t want to tell more than Tori was
comfortable with. Her phone vibrated in her hand. What can I do?

Be there for her . The answer sounded simple, but Jade had seen enough to know that it
wasn’t. Tori’s fucking stubborn and keeps trying to do a lot of this by herself. So we just keep
reminding her that she’s an idiot and not alone.

Andre chuckled softly. I might skip calling her an idiot.

Suit yourself, Jade replied. It got through to her to call you finally.

That earned her a significant look that Jade couldn’t decipher, but Andre didn’t reply. Tori
had calmed down by that point, so he turned his attention to her and started talking about her
piano piece for class. With Tori distracted, Jade managed to extricate her arm and stretched it
over the back of the bench seat. Almost unconsciously, it seemed, Tori snuggled up to her
side and Jade felt her insides fucking flutter.

She bit back a groan. Jade West’s insides do not fucking flutter .

Her phone vibrated in her hand again, providing a handy distraction.

Aspen (Coffee Shop) (1:13 p.m.)

2 songs tmw, an appearance at the live practice 2NTE, and I won’t bug u again about
performing the rest of the summer.

Nick (Saddle Mountain) (1:14 p.m.)

3 songs tonight and tomorrow and I keep you stocked in wine coolers this summer.

Really Tall Robbie (1:15 p.m.)

Should we be talking about providing alcohol to a minor over text?

Nick (Saddle Mountain) (1:15 p.m.)

I trust you to delete this if I decide to run for school board.

Really Tall Robbie (1:16 p.m.)

 *sigh* I’ll add it to the list.

Unknown Number (1:19 p.m.)

Really feeling the love rn.

Aspen (Coffee Shop) (1:19 p.m.)

You’ll understand 2NTE, Megs.

(1:20 p.m.)

There is no ‘tonight.’

Or tomorrow.

Or ever.

Aspen (Coffee Shop) (1:22 p.m.)

Don’t make me call in Wills.

Unknown Number (1:22 p.m.)

Woah woah woah

Let’s not do something we’ll regret, Asp.

If she doesn’t want to perform, she doesn’t have to.

(1:23 p.m.)

Finally, someone intelligent.

Against her shoulder, Jade felt Tori’s silent laughter and looked down to find that she was
reading the message thread with the band. Well, Jade was practically holding the phone in her
face, so Tori would have had to close her eyes not to see it.

Nick (Saddle Mountain) (1:24 p.m.)

I want Jade to sing, too, but damn, Aspen. No need for the nuke.

Aspen (Coffee Shop) (1:25 p.m.)

2 l8. Kraken unleashed.

Unknown Number (1:25 p.m.)

I tried, Unknown Number. UR on UR own now.

Jade’s phone vibrated with a new incoming text separate from the thread. A tiny sense of
dread rose as she opened it.

Willa The Nuisance (1:27 p.m.)

Hello, my mentee! So, about 2NITE…

 Chapter 11

Jade made a mental note to terrorize Aspen.

Like ‘slowly drive her to madness’ terrorize. Possibly with clowns.

“Oh, come on,” Willa whined as they sat in the theater seats. Thaddeus was on-stage
‘directing’ Kellis and a few of the other players in how they should be portraying a scene.
Something about imagining they were all apples, fighting to detach themselves from their
trees. Jade made a face and sent a gesture at Kellis that said, “Roll with it.” She figured it
wasn’t worth getting upset over, which, holy fuck, was that a seismic attitude shift for her.
“You’ve got to come.”

Jade turned her attention back to her ‘mentor’ and said, “What part of ‘no’ was confusing?”

Willa made a show of thinking hard before saying, “The ‘n,’ I think. Tricky little fucker.”

A smile threatened to break out on Jade’s face, though she just managed to keep her scowl in
place. Willa had been at her, both in text and in person, ever since Aspen ‘unleashed the
Kraken.’ Eventually, Jade had just blocked her number, though that was harder to do face-to-
face.

“What’s so damn important about this ‘live practice’?” Jade asked. “And what the hell does
that even mean?”

“Dude, it’s only the best birthday party for America in Astoria,” Willa gushed, slapping Jade
on the shoulder.

“Because I strike you as a big birthday party person?”

Willa let out a scandalized gasp. “You don’t like birthday parties? Not even your own?”

“Obviously, I like my birthday,” Jade said with an eye roll. “For everyone else, it’s like ooh.
Your parents got busy one time and now you exist. Congratulations on doing absolutely
nothing to contribute to your own birth.”

Willa gave her an appraising look. “Such an only child.”

Jade shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “Actually, I, uh, have a brother.”

“Seriously?” Willa asked, blinking in surprise.

“Yeah,” Jade said reluctantly. She hadn’t really meant to bring it up, but, like what had been
frequently happening, it slipped out. “Noah. He’s a lot younger than me. Like ten.”

“Oops baby?”

Jade grunted. “That or a desperate attempt to keep a failing marriage together.”

The sad thing was, she wasn’t really even joking. Her memories of that time weren’t clear
(she was only seven at the time), but she knew even then her parents didn’t get along like
they should. It’s not that they screamed at each other in front of her, or ever, for that matter.
Evan and Stephanie West engaged more in a cold war than anything, making snide comments
if they talked to each other at all. The divorce a year after her brother’s birth wasn’t a surprise
to anyone, really. Not even adolescent Jade.

Her mother plainly wanted a boy, because as soon as Noah came along, Jade was
immediately pushed to the side. Oh, it wasn’t complete abandonment at first, but Stephanie
stopped showing up for things like recitals and parent-teacher conferences. By the time April
of her sophomore year came around, though, even the little contact they had ceased. Not that
Jade cared much by that point; she had Beck and all of the crap she was involved with at
Hollywood Arts, which meant Jade had skipped out on the court-ordered weekend visitations
more often than not. It wasn’t a big loss, in her opinion.

Jade was shocked, however, when she got a call on her birthday (which also happened to be
Thanksgiving, not that she cared about that holiday). When Jade got a second call on
Christmas Day, she made the mistake of asking why.

“Oh, it’s part of the amended custody agreement,” her mother had said carelessly. “Since we
moved out of state, I gave up visitation rights. Your father made sure I still have to pay for
your school and your car. Which I went ahead and paid off, you’re welcome. I also have to
call a couple of times a year, so I figured it was easiest to remember on your birthday and
Christmas.”

And that was how Jade found out her mother and brother no longer were living in Los
Angeles. And apparently hadn’t since the previous spring.

Willa broke through Jade’s momentary melancholy by leveling a huge grin at Jade. “Well,
regardless of your feelings on birthdays, you still need to show up tonight. Especially since
you’re in the band and all.”

“Not in the band,” Jade said with an eye roll. “I’m doing a song, if that, tomorrow. Besides,
I’m not just going to ditch Tori and the others. And there’s no way in hell Holly lets Tori
come to a party with grown-ass adults.”

“Challenge accepted,” Willa said with a huge grin on her face before standing and walking up
the aisle toward the lobby.

Jade gaped after her for a moment, too stunned to respond, before jumping up and shouting,
“Challenge? What challenge? Willa, I swear, whatever you’re planning on doing…”

Her threat was cut off by sudden machine gun fire over the theater sound system, followed by
a distant police siren. Jade glared up at the sound booth and threw her hands up in an
unspoken ‘what the fuck?’ at Caleb. The speakers crackled before his voice rang out, “That
was supposed to be the ambient street sounds. Someone messed with the settings. Again.”

“Someone’s mom messed with the wrong dude forty years ago,” Jade muttered, sending a
glare at the stage, where Thaddeus had his back turned to examine the painted backdrop
closely. She turned right at the lobby doors and stomped up to the booth, Caleb’s greeting
dying on his lips as Jade stormed in. “Is there a way to password protect that goddamn thing
to keep him out?”

Caleb pushed his shaggy bangs out of his eyes and let out a slow breath, then gestured at the
machine. “Not really. This thing is ancient. Like, ‘new when I was in diapers’ ancient. It’s
literally just a hard drive.”

“Great,” Jade said, jaw clenching. “So we’re going to have to check that fucking thing before
every show and reprogram it.”

“Well,” Caleb said, dragging out the word. “I could use my laptop and plug it into the
soundboard. There’s a few free theater programs I can use for the sounds. That way, I take it
home each night.”

Jade leveled him with a glare that had him wilting away. “Why haven’t you used this
before?”

She nearly broke her angry facade at the almost cartoonish bob of Caleb’s Adam’s apple.
“Never needed to?”

“Do it,” Jade bit out and turned on her heel, stomping out of the sound booth. She had just
reached the bottom when her phone vibrated in her back pocket. Frowning at the text
notification from Holly, she opened up the thread (which was becoming more frequently used
and it was fucking weird).

Holly Vega (5:46 p.m.)

Trina will drive Tori, Andre, and Cat to the BBQ. You can ride back with them.

NO DRINKING.

I can’t stress that enough, Jade.

Jade just blinked at the screen in shock. “What the fuck…?”

“Never doubt my powers, my mentee,” Willa said, appearing at Jade’s elbow from seemingly
nowhere.

“How?”

Willa’s grin grew even wider. “Also never underestimate a grateful mother and a chance to
have a house free of teenagers for some sweet, sweet lovin’.”

That shocked Jade out of her stupor enough to grimace. “Thanks for putting that image in my
head.”

“Oh, come on,” Willa said with a smirk. “Tori’s parents are freaking hot.”

Jade eyed her suspiciously. “How do you know what her dad looks like?”
“I followed her on TwitFlash. And then I did what any rational person does when they follow
someone new and snooped through her pics."

"Is that what you two are doing during rehearsal instead of helping Tori learn her lines?” Jade
asked, not bothering to hide her annoyance.

Willa waved her off. “Please. That girl already has a better handle on the character than I do.”

That, truthfully, didn’t surprise Jade in the least bit. One thing constant with Tori was her
inclination to throw herself headfirst into whatever challenge was before her. The bird scene,
the whole Kesha mess, revenge on cheating, asshole ex-boyfriends; whatever it was, Tori
attacked it with determination. The exception, it seemed, was her own recovery.

Rehearsal moved pretty quickly after the soundboard incident, and Jade found herself alone
with Willa in the theater locking up before she knew it. Willa promised food would be
provided at the party, which was apparently equal parts barbecue, so Jade didn’t push for her
to stop somewhere on the way. As Willa pulled her Mustang up to the curb a few houses
down from Scott and Nick’s, Jade realized that the ‘small gathering’ had been undersold.
Apparently, word had spread about the Saddle Mountain ‘practice,’ because more cars than
usual lined the street.

Jade had the fleeting thought that it might not be the best time to reintroduce Tori to parties,
but it was put out of her mind by Willa nearly shoving her down the sidewalk.

The house had a few people in it, but from the low rumble of sound from beyond the kitchen,
most everyone was in the backyard. Willa greeted a couple of people she knew that were
sitting around the coffee table and then practically pulled Jade through to the back. A good
couple of dozen people were spread out in the mostly-grass backyard. It did have a concrete
patio just big enough for a small grill, which was manned by Scott and a girl that looked
similar enough when they turned to greet them that they had to be siblings.

“Megs,” Willa exclaimed and threw her arms around the other woman. “Sorry I haven’t been
by to see you, yet.”

The apology was waved off. “No worries. I’ve heard you’ve been a little preoccupied. I’m
just sorry I missed you two quitting Rex’s. Did you really punch Stevie?”

Willa scoffed. “It’s like you don’t even know me.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. You’re a biter.”

“Damn right,” Willa said proudly. She turned to Jade and gave a low bow. “May I present the
first student of the Willa McEnroe Finishing School for Wayward Girls.”

Jade rolled her eyes. “There’s something wrong with you.”

“You say the sweetest things,” Willa said with a grin. “Meghan, this is Jade.”

“Ah,” Meghan exclaimed, green eyes lighting up in recognition. “My replacement.”

Scott grunted as he flipped a couple of burgers. “If she could play bass, probably.”

“You would kick out your little sister?” Meghan asked, eyes watering and lip quivering.

“Yep.”

“I’m telling mom.”

“She’ll agree with me when she hears Jade sing,” Scott said. Jade felt her face heat up and
turned her head to try and hide it. “Probably try to adopt her, too.”

“She’s already taken,” Willa cut in and turned to Jade. “Have you been taught the secret Vega
handshake yet?”

“It’s a ritual sacrifice,” Jade shot back deadpan, embarrassment having faded. “They follow
the old ways. Praise Zeus.”

Meghan snorted into her beer. “Yeah, I can see your influence, Wills.”

“She’s come so far,” Willa said wistfully. “When we first met, all those years ago…”

“It’s been a month.”

“Jade was but a babe in the woods,” Willa continued as if Jade hadn’t spoken. “Lost,
unwilling to be part of the world around her, afraid of her shadow. Look at her now. I’m so
proud.”

“I will replace you with Tori,” Jade growled.

Willa grinned. “That would be a poor look on you as the director. Suddenly dumping the lead
of the play weeks before opening night for the girl you’re dating? People would talk.”

Jade's stomach gave an uncomfortable flop that she tried to ignore, along with that voice in
her head that sounded like her asshole father. “Okay, two things. First, Kellis is the lead. The
play is called Cyrano de Bergerac , not Roxane . And, second, we’re not dating.”

“Who’s not dating?” Aspen’s voice interjected into the conversation. She leaned into Scott
and kissed him on the cheek. “People are getting hungry.”

“Five more minutes,” Scott said. “You know this grill sucks.”

“I know, babe,” Aspen said with a placating pat on his arm. She turned back to the others and
repeated, “So, who’s not dating?”

“Jade’s not dating someone named…Tori?” Meghan said, her voice going up in pitch at the
end.

“Ah,” Aspen nodded and tilted her head toward the red-head. “Cheekbones. And, Jade, you
can deny it all you want, but you two are totally dating.”
“Who’s dating?”

Jade nearly screamed in frustration as Susan joined them at the grill. Willa and Aspen
chorused, “Jade and Tori.”

Susan made a humming sound in lieu of an answer and, instead, asked, “How is she? I’ve
been meaning to check in, but I don’t have her number. Or yours, for that matter.”

“Fine,” Jade responded automatically. At Susan’s pointed look, she shrugged and amended,
“As fine as she can be, I guess. She’s supposedly coming.”

“Oh, awesome,” Susan said, dark eyes lighting up. That was quickly replaced with a
thoughtful frown. “Wait. If she didn’t come with you, does that mean her sister is bringing
her?”

“Great,” Aspen said sarcastically. “I noticed we were out of ‘over-the-top attention whore’ to
go with the burgers. ”

Jade glared at Aspen. “Hey! I know she’s too much sometimes. Okay, most times. All right,
any time she’s not asleep. And she’s a terrible actress, can’t sing when people are watching, is
deluded enough to think she’s God’s gift to men, don't even get me started on her disgusting
'beauty regimen…'”

“I’m confused,” Meghan cut in. “Are you defending this person or not?”

“I’m getting there,” Jade snapped loudly. That drew a few amused looks from the group
around the grill, rather than the feared cowering at Hollywood Arts. “Trina also loves Tori.
Almost as much as she loves herself. She’s…not completely horrible when she wants to be.”

Glass shattering ended the awkward defense of the lesser Vega. Speaking of the devils, she
thought as she opened the text.

“They’re here,” Jade announced. “Oh, that does include the two friends of ours from
Hollywood Arts that I told you were coming up.”

Scott nodded. “I remembered. Plenty of food. If it ever cooks. Should have bought a new grill
before this.”

“We’ll go out this weekend and look,” Aspen said, though at the others she rolled her eyes.

Jade wove her way back through the house, where a few more people had joined in the living
room, including Nick and Ashley, and emerged out into the front yard to find her group
walking up the street. Tori gave a small wave, while Cat skipped ahead to join Jade on the
front porch.

Jade looked down and said, “Hey, Cat?”

“Yeah, Jay-Jay?”
She inwardly cringed at the hated nickname from middle school. Memories of Ali being the
one to first call her that floated to the front of her mind, but Jade shoved them back. Not the
time or place for that particular brand of self-loathing, West .

“Keep Trina distracted, would you? She hasn’t made the best impression with some of…
um…”

“Your friends?” Cat finished, a small, knowing smile on her face.

“Um, yeah,” Jade said. It shouldn’t be that hard to admit out loud that the Saddle Mountain
crew were her friends, but she was still Jade West and feelings were hard. “Just try to keep
her from being Trina ?”

“Kay, kay, Jade.”

She nodded but had a thought and glared down. “Cat, don’t forget what we all said after that
one Northridge party. No getting her drunk.”

“Aw,” Cat said with a pout. “She’s a fun drunk.”

“She’s really not,” Jade responded. She cut their conversation off as the other three finally
caught up. “Hey. Party’s out back.”

After leading them through the house, Jade stopped by the grill (where Scott was just
finishing up with the burgers) and introduced Cat and Andre, the latter of whom immediately
struck up a conversation with Scott about the band. Cat followed Jade’s instructions and
dragged Trina off to some lawn chairs (“Let’s boy watch! And not be annoying to Jade’s new
friends.”), leaving Jade and Tori to wander off on their own.

Despite it being July, the temperature was still on the cool side, which meant a fire pit was set
up and going. Billy apparently had put himself in charge of it, as he was watching it like a
hawk scouting prey when they walked past. He barely acknowledged Jade’s greeting, which
got an exasperated, but fond, eye-roll from Susan, who had just sat down next to him with a
plate filled with food. She gestured to the seats beside her, which Tori accepted on their
behalf. Jade felt she should be annoyed by that, but couldn’t bring herself to be.

She tuned out the discussion between the two and allowed her stress to bleed out as she
relaxed, staring at the fire. Jade didn’t realize how much she needed a moment to decompress
until right then. Because Aspen was right; she was shouldering stuff no seventeen year old
should have to deal with. The Tori-related part was willingly; she cared deeply for her friend
and crush. The play was entirely due to her controlling nature; she couldn’t stand watching
someone incompetent do something she knew she could do better. Then there was the coming
to terms with her sexuality and how Jade definitely knew she wanted to get to a place where
she could be comfortable with herself without having to hide.

Which would mean dealing with her father. Eventually.

At one point, a paper plate filled with a hamburger, hot dog, and a pasta salad was thrust into
her hands. Jade looked up to see Tori settling in beside her with a similar plate of her own.
She grunted her thanks and took a big bite of the burger, realizing just then how famished she
was. Tori snorted in amusement beside her at the gusto with which Jade attacked the rest of
the food.

“And you make fun of how Trina eats,” Tori commented and took a more demure bite of her
hot dog.

Jade glared at her. “She gets wing sauce in her hair, Tori. I don’t even know how that’s
possible.”

Tori just laughed softly and turned to Andre, who had taken up the seat that Susan had been
in. Jade frowned at that, not realizing she had left. Or that the sun had gone down and it was
dusk. Jesus, how long was I zoned out?

“Welcome back to the land of the living,” Willa said from her right and Jade had to fight the
urge to jump.

“When the hell did you get here?” Jade bit out, chest heaving from the shock.

“About thirty minutes ago,” Willa answered. “You dozed off.”

“I did not doze off.”

Willa smirked and looked across the fire. “Asp! Was Jade asleep?”

“Dead to the world,” came the disembodied answer. “It was both impressive and adorable.”

Jade glared at both and then turned to Tori, who smiled and shrugged. “It’s been a long day. I
figured you needed it. I’m only functioning because I took a nap instead of watching Harry
Potter earlier.”

Any further attempts to deny she fell asleep at a fucking party were cut off by Scott’s
amplified voice. “All right, I think it’s time we get to the reason y’all are actually here.”

Jade turned her head to find the band had set up, complete with microphones and a few, small
PA speakers. God, please don’t ask her… “Jade, you want to rip the band aid off?” he asked.

She groaned loudly and felt hands on her back from either side shoving her out of her seat.
Jade spared a moment to glare at both Willa and Tori before stomping across the yard to the
band. “Fine, whatever,” she said as she came up to them.

Scott chuckled and said, “So, we’re going to start off with a guest. Jade here is from Los
Angeles, working with Willa on the play, and has a damn fine voice.”

Willa let out a hoot and a call of, “He said my name,” which got laughter from the party
goers. Jade noticed that she had dragged her chair, as well as Tori’s closer to the band. Andre,
Cat, and Trina were standing off to the side, Cat hopping in her excitement.

Pushing them out of her mind, Jade turned and said, “All right, let’s get this over with.”
Just as Billy plucked a couple of times on his banjo to check the tune on it, Jade heard Willa
say to Tori, “You ready to have your mind blown?”

“You know I’ve heard her sing plenty of times,” Tori said in confusion.

“Not like this, you haven’t.”

Jade tuned them out as Billy signaled he was ready. She took a deep breath and, acapella, let
loose with the opening verse of “You’ll Never Leave Harlan Alive.” Because of course she
was drawn in by a song that depressing.

“Wow,” Tori breathed as Jade waited for Scott and the band to really pick up the playing.
Something warm rose in Jade’s stomach at the thought that she took Tori’s breath away. She
tried to push it to the back of her mind as she went through the song, only pausing to give
both Nick and Aspen chances to have solos. Aspen, in particular, played her fiddle with more
intensity than she normally did. Jade smirked at Scott’s look of complete worship as she
pulled the bow across the strings.

They finished the song out to loud applause, including the neighbors that apparently were
listening through the fence. Jade ducked her head and smiled, uncharacteristically shy. Cat
and Andre were whooping loudly, even Trina was cheering. Jade then looked to Tori, who
was bent over her phone with a huge smile on her face. That smile made Jade’s insides do
somersaults.

The band started up with another song, this time an original, and Jade moved to reclaim her
seat. Her phone vibrated with a notification and she pulled it from her back pocket, seeing
that Tori had taken a video of Jade’s performance and posted it to The Slap, which,
admittedly, was…

Wait.

“Um, Tori?”

“Yeah?” she asked, still smiling.

Jade made a face and said, “You realize that you set that for everyone to see, right?”

“So?”

Jade sighed and thought, Poor, clueless idiot. She made a gesture to follow her over to the
side, where the others were waiting, to not detract from the band, and then asked, “When was
your last post?”

“Um.” Tori took a moment to reopen the app and went to her page. “Must have been right
after I performed. Y'know, at the...the PMA's. Just said, ‘Can’t believe that was real.’ and set
my mood to ‘feeling exhilarated.’ Why?”

If possible, Jade’s exasperation of her cluelessness grew. “Andre, help me out here.”
He grinned and said, “Tor, you’ve been completely off-grid for months. Everyone at school
has been speculating about you and how you’re doing. Your phone’s about to blow up.”

As if it had been waiting for someone to give it permission, the first strains of “Make It
Shine” rang out embarrassingly loud. And then cut off, only to start over with each
successive notification. Cat started giggling and humming along to the song, though Tori
scrambled to silence her phone quickly after some of the nearby party goers glared at them.
Jade glared back, which got the desired reaction of turning their attention away from Tori.
Then her phone vibrated in her hand, as well. Some notifications from The Slap, which
wasn’t unexpected, considering she had been tagged in Tori’s video, though she also had a
text from Beck.

Jade opened the thread and read, How badly is Tori’s phone going haywire right now?

I think we’re about to get kicked out of the party , Jade wrote back. Though I think I can find
a way to make it Trina’s fault.

There was a slight pause before Beck came back with, You didn’t get her drunk, did you?

Jade saw red at that. Fuck’s sake, Oliver. Do you really think I would put Tori through that?

You’re right, I’m sorry. That was a new aspect of their relationship. She and Beck had
achieved an understanding of each other in the wake of Tori’s accident that they never had
while they dated. It's amazing the perspective you gain when someone you care about
fucking dies.

Beck could still come across a little condescending toward Jade at times, but would walk it
back almost immediately when called out instead of getting defensive and arguing. And the
condescending comments were becoming fewer the more Beck realized he was doing it.

Meanwhile, Jade took a hard look in the mirror, admitting that she was overly clingy and
absolutely had jealous tendencies. And some impulse control issues. Maybe some lingering
rage. Definitely had trouble expressing positive emotions. Oh, and she, apparently, had some
internalized homophobia (thank you, worthless fucking parents).

So, yeah. When Jade finally got around to going to a therapist, she was going to end up being
their first book.

The end result of their mutual self-reflection was that her and Beck seemed to be in a better
place with each other. Mostly. Jade had gotten a little bitchy when he had gone out with some
gank back in May. Beck at least was considerate enough to give Jade a heads up first, so she
wasn’t completely blindsided. It still sucked more than she wanted to admit to see him
moving on.

To show she didn’t hold the comment against him, she joked, I left Cat in charge, however, so
who knows what she got into.

Beck responded with an ‘LOL,’ which he completely did on purpose to get under Jade’s skin,
but then softened that with, You sounded awesome, by the way.
Thanks, she sent after an awkward moment of trying to figure out the appropriate response.
Jade turned her attention back to Tori, finding her staring at her phone in stunned silence.
Sliding closer, she whispered, “You okay?”

Tori looked up and said, “Yeah. I’m just…this is…just…”

The look on her face was somewhat lost, which made Jade smile slightly. “I told you, we all
love you, dork. That includes, like, ninety-nine percent of the school.”

Tori nodded dumbly, then paused. “Wait, who’s the one percent?”

Jade just waggled her eyebrows and gave her an evil grin. Tori rolled her eyes and punched
Jade on the shoulder, but it lacked any power and didn’t make Jade do anything more than
lean back. “Gank.”

“Jade!” Aspen’s voice called out over the speakers. “If you’re done ‘not flirting,’ we could
use your voice on a song.”

If she could, Jade was relatively certain she would have melted solid steel with the heat of the
glare she shot up toward the band. She took a deep breath to start a tirade, but it died in her
lungs almost immediately as she felt a warm hand encircle her wrist. Her head snapped down
and then up to find Tori smiling softly at her.

“Just go sing, Jade,” she said, releasing her grip and turning her toward the stage with a little
push.

“Yay, Jay…” Cat began.

“No,” Jade said warningly.

“Am I already at my limit?” Cat said, pouting.

“Front porch.”

“Oh, boo,” she said sadly, then immediately perked up. “Can you sing the Waggafuffles
theme?”

“Absolutely not,” Jade said and turned to stomp toward the band. She shot Aspen a sour look
as she reached them. “I’m only here because I want to be.”

“Right,” Aspen said, grinning. “Cheekbones had absolutely nothing to do with it.”

“Shut up,” Jade growled. “What song was worth summoning me?”

“You know Fleetwood Mac?” Meghan asked, drawing a ‘No shit’ glare from Jade. “We’re
thinking ‘The Chain.’”

“We’ve never practiced that one,” Jade pointed out. She knew the lyrics well enough, but
knowing the lyrics and singing along with the album is completely different from doing it
with a band.
“I think we can make it work,” Aspen said. “The three of us harmonize. Each one takes a turn
with the running in the shadows part at the end. You do the emphasis. I can do the Christine
McVie ‘ooh.’”

“This is why we call it a live practice,” Scott added. “No one here will judge a song that
doesn’t work. Or if we have to stop and start a few times to get it right.”

Jade sighed and said, “Fine. Let’s just do this.”

“I just love your enthusiasm,” Meghan said sarcastically. Jade responded with a finger.

Freshman year, Jade had been part of a production of MacBeth at Hollywood Arts that just
clicked. It actually was the only production she had been part of at the school that did so.
Everything just flowed together so naturally, it was like they had done it a hundred times. No
tech issues, great chemistry with the cast, hell, not even petty, teenage drama. It was as close
to perfect as a group of fourteen- or fifteen-year-olds could manage.

It was the same thing when she sang with Tori on their date. Sure, they had performed
together a few times before that, most notably for Andre’s Christmas song, but they had
never done “Take a Hint” before together in their lives. Jade was pretty sure they hadn’t even
listened to it while in the same building. Without time to rehearse, they went entirely on the
fly and it was so easy. The back and forth, the instinctual knowing of what each other was
going to do so they could react properly, all of it. It felt like they had performed that song
thousands of times.

This was what Jade experienced with Saddle Mountain. From the moment Scott began
playing the opening riff, a feeling of rightness fell over her. And, holy shit, when Aspen and
Meghan joined her voice to harmonize the first verse…well, to say it clicked would be an
understatement. By the time they reached the bridge (which sounded unreal on Meghan’s
upright bass accompanied by Aspen’s fiddle in place of the electric guitar), she was well
aware that they had something special. The eruption after the last notes faded proved it.

Aspen and Meghan both rushed to embrace Jade, which was quickly and loudly shut down.
The backyard (and the neighbors) were giving them a standing ovation. Andre’s howl of
approval drew her attention to her friends, quickly scanning over his smiling face, then Cat
and Trina’s before landing on Tori. The smile on her face was huge and warmed Jade’s
insides as if it were a bright, Southern California sunny day. Tori waved her phone at Jade,
telling her that she had taken another video and posted it. The girl just didn’t learn.

She turned to find Aspen and the others looking at her expectantly. She rolled her eyes and let
out an exaggerated sigh.

“Fine. I’m in the fucking band.”

 Chapter 12

Tori's dad was waiting for Jade in the kitchen when she woke up to go to work early the next
morning.

That froze her up halfway down the stairs. David wasn’t even trying to be intimidating; he
was reading something on the laptop and was dressed in a pair of powder blue gym shorts
with a red T-shirt. And he had on reading glasses. He looked as innocuous as could be, but
Jade couldn’t shake the feeling that she had walked into an interrogation.

He looked up when she forced herself to continue down the steps, hitting the squeaky one,
and gave her a nod. “Morning,” he said softly, in deference to Andre sleeping on the couch
downstairs. “Figured I would save you from the pleasure of Trina’s company this morning.”

Jade blinked in surprise. “Oh. Thanks, I guess.”

“No problem,” he said, removing the glasses and shutting the laptop. “You need anything
before we leave? Breakfast? Coffee?”

“I, uh, just get it at the shop.”

“Makes sense. Ready?”

Still feeling off-kilter, Jade only trusted herself to nod before slinging her bag over her
shoulder. David followed her out, locking up behind them, and led the way over to the SUV.
Even with all the time she had spent at the Vega residence ever since Tori had joined
Hollywood Arts, Jade had never really spent that much time with David. He always seemed
to be either on-duty or out of town for some reason or another. Holly was around more
frequently, but, even then, that had been sporadic prior to the accident.

Jade fought back a yawn, since it was five-thirty in the morning, and wondered why she was
nervous around him. Was it just the unfamiliar? Jade would be lying if she said that she didn’t
hate sudden changes in routine. It made her tetchy and prone to lashing out. Part of it could
also be the fact that he was a cop, and that automatically can put someone on edge, even if
they did nothing wrong.

Or it could be that she kind of, sort of, maybe wanted to date his daughter. Potentially.

Had Tori even come out to him? Surely, she had. From Holly’s amused looks and smirks
when they did anything that remotely looked coupley, she obviously knew. Trina, she also
wasn’t sure of. True, she was aware of Jade’s end and holy shit…

Trina was on the growing list that was aware of Jade’s not-straightness (because she still
wasn’t labeling herself).

Maybe she should just take out a fucking ad on a billboard and get it fucking over with.
“So, how’s your summer going?” David cut into her inner-freak out.

Jade blinked and looked around, realizing they were already on the highway. “Um, good. I
guess. Busy.”

David nodded in acknowledgement. “You’re here for a play, right? And in a band? Tori and
Cat wouldn’t stop talking about it when you all got back last night.”

Jade had missed that, thankfully, as she had gone pretty much straight to bed since she had to
open up the shop in return for getting the rest of the week off. “Yeah. Assistant director for an
internship. The band thing kind of just happened.”

“Bluegrass, right?”

“Yep,” Jade said. Why? Why was he forcing her to do small talk? Did any Vega know when
to just keep quiet? “Didn’t even know I liked it until a few weeks ago. Now I’m singing in a
fuh…freaking concert on the Fourth of July.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Jade saw his small smile at her near-miss on cursing. “You
know, I arrested a musician the other day.”

Jade raised her eyebrow and turned her head to look more directly at David. “Yeah? Anyone I
would recognize?”

“Don’t think so,” he said, thoughtfully. “No one I knew, anyway.”

Jade shrugged and turned back to look out the windshield. “What did they do?”

“Oh, just got in treble.”

It took a moment, thanks to the early hour, but Jade let out a loud groan when she realized he
had just dad-joked her. “Oh, God. You’re where Tori gets it from.”

“I like to tell Dad jokes,” David said with a grin. “Sometimes he even laughs.”

That received an even bigger groan, mostly exaggerated, from Jade. David laughed lightly,
though he refrained from any more bad jokes. They rode in silence the rest of the way to
Georgie’s, with only a few other vehicles on the streets, which made sense since it was a
holiday. Jade found herself relaxing a little in the officer’s presence; not a lot, but enough that
she didn’t think he was taking her to jail anymore.

He pulled into a parking stall outside the coffee shop, which was already lit up from,
presumably, Georgie and Dusty having arrived to start getting prepped for the day. Jade
assumed it would be a busy one, especially later in the morning when the crowds started
coming out for Astoria’s big celebration. Technically, it was part of the county fair, which
was held at the fairgrounds south of town.

According to Willa, the music festival was a Fourth of July tradition on the final day of the
fair and was a big fucking deal. It seemed they always managed to pull in a somewhat big act
for the headliner. Jade had been told the name of this year’s, but, being it was some pop-
country princess, she neither recognized nor remembered it.

Jade cleared her throat before opening the door and said, “Thanks.”

“No problem,” David said with a nod. Just as she was about to make a hasty exit, he added,
“Holly loves you, you know.”

“Um, what?” Jade said, freezing in place.

David chuckled and nodded. “She’s done nothing but sing your praises since you and Tori
reconnected. Gives you a lot of the credit for bringing our daughter back to us.”

“Oh.” She sighed. This is going to turn into another of those conversations where I have no
idea how to react, isn’t it?

“Probably. Had a few of those recently?”

Damn it. “You could say that,” Jade said, trying not to cringe at her busted inner monologue.
Honestly, she was beginning to wonder why she bothered with one anymore. “It seems to be
a specialty with the women in your family.”

David raised an eyebrow at that. “Even Trina?”

“Yeah. It weirded me out, too.”

“Will miracles never cease,” he muttered. Louder, he said, “I’m not going to get sappy. Not
my style. But, um…look, Jade, my wife and I talk. And she told me some things you’ve let
slip, most likely unintentional, that does have me concerned.”

Jade’s eyes widened. “Oh. God. Look, I didn’t think taking the pint would be that big of a
deal, because I seriously just put it on a cart. Someone should have realized it was just
misplaced. I had no idea that fucking hospital was so incompetent that they would just keep
taking Tori’s blood. I, seriously, feel like shit about it now.”

David’s stare was blank and Jade fought the urge to start running. “You stole a pint of Tori’s
blood?” he asked finally. “Please tell me this wasn’t after the accident.”

“Oh, shit, no,” Jade said, eyes widening with a touch of fear, her words coming out in a rush.
“No. No. This was last year. Right before we went to Yerba. Officer Vega. Sir. Please don’t
arrest me.”

“Sargeant, technically.”

“What?”

“I’m a sergeant,” he said, straightening up in his seat. “I work in the Community Relations
Sector. I’m not a beat cop. Anymore.”

“Oh,” was all Jade could think to say.

“Can I ask why you stole a pint of my daughter’s blood?”

Jade couldn’t read David’s mood from the sound of his voice. She assumed he was pissed;
she would be if Jade was in his place. The thought of giving a vague answer crossed her
mind, but she decided the truth was probably the best option for self-preservation. “Um, so
she got the lead in a play over me. I, uh, got a little angry?”

He raised an eyebrow. “You’re not sure if you got angry or not?”

“No, yes,” Jade said quickly and David gave her a somewhat annoyed glare. Jade took a deep
breath and forced herself to slow down. “Yes, I got angry. There was some other shit going
on at the same time and I guess Tori just made a convenient scapegoat. And I went
overboard, because that’s what I do.”

“What else did you do?” David asked, still sounding a little flat.

Jade winced. “That particular time, or since I’ve known her?”

That got a deep, obviously calming breath. “Let’s go with that time first.”

“I tried to convince her that Lady Gaga wanted her as a backup dancer.”

“That’s not so bad.”

“And I, uh, sent her a, um, bouquet of…bush…daisies,” Jade said, trailing off at the end, face
flaming in embarrassment.

“WHAT?”

David shook his head and leaned back in the driver’s seat. Jade fight or flight was still in high
alert, with the ‘flight’ part winning at that moment. That tiny voice that sounded like her
father told her that ‘flight’ was all she was capable of, because she was a coward.

After a count of one hundred (exactly; Jade was counting in her head), David sighed and
asked, “Did you know…?”

“No,” Jade cut in quickly when he trailed off. “Well, I mean, I knew that she was allergic, but
not how badly. I’m a gank, but I just wanted her to have a bad rash for a day or so. Not,
y’know, kill her.”

“And this all happened last year?” he asked. At her confirming nod, David squeezed his eyes
shut and pinched the bridge of his nose. Quietly, almost too much so for Jade to hear him
properly, he muttered, “Maybe we have been too absent.”

An oppressive silence fell in the cab of the SUV. Jade wondered if David would notice if she
slid out quietly. Probably, but the risk seemed worth it. Just as she was about to reach for the
door handle, David sighed. “Okay. All right. Here’s what you’re going to do. It’s obvious
Tori doesn’t hold it against you, but I still expect a full apology to her. For everything.
Understand, Jade?”
“Everything?”

“Everything.”

The threat felt pretty clear. Apologize, or you’re back at the Bayview. Jade nodded weakly,
feeling about an inch tall. “Yes, sir, Officer. Sergeant. Sir.”

David gave her an annoyed look and shook his head. “Have a good day at work. The plan is
to meet up for sure after your concert, but Tori will probably text you if we get there early.”

“Sure,” Jade said and finally escaped the SUV. “Um, thanks. For the ride.”

“No problem.”

For the rest of the morning, whenever she had downtime from working the front counter,
Jade would pull out her notebook and scribble down a few more things that popped into her
mind that she had done to Tori. As she predicted, foot traffic didn’t pick up until closer to
mid-morning, so that left plenty of time to come up with all the wrongs over the last couple
of years.

And, holy shit, were there a lot of them.

By the time Aspen stopped by at noon to pick her up for the soundcheck, as they were
scheduled for the opening slot at the Clatsop County Sound of Freedom Festival ( What a
ridiculous name ), Jade had filled about three pages of the notebook. She included
everything, just as he said; from pouring the coffee on her head that first day to dumping the
water on Tori to wake her up the week prior. Jade didn’t want to take any chances, so she was
comprehensive.

Sometime around nine o’clock, and around the end of the second page, Jade had come to a
conclusion.

I am a terrible fucking person.

Reading down through the list (for the tenth time that morning), she couldn’t understand why
Tori gave a shit about her at all. Jade had known she had never been the nicest to her since
they had met, but seeing it in ink…fuck. Jade had no right to make any claim of friendship
with Tori. Or anyone, for that matter. The thought had occurred to her that if she were to do
the same with Robbie, for instance, she may need a new notebook.

“You’re pretty quiet,” Aspen commented as they left Georgie’s parking lot. “Nervous?”

“Hm?” It took a moment for the question to penetrate her own inner-turmoil. She shook
herself and said, “No. I don’t get nerves.”

Aspen gave her a side-eyed look of disbelief. “Bullshit. Everyone gets performance jitters.
I’d be worried if I don’t get a little nervous before going out on stage.”

Jade shrugged. “I don’t. Never have. I know how good I am.”

“Yeah, okay,” Aspen said, the eye roll audible even as she kept her gaze on the road. “I do
feel bad you’re going to essentially just be standing there. Sorry we don’t have a spare guitar
for you.”

“It’s fine,” Jade said, waving it off. “I haven’t exactly had time to learn anything beyond
vocals. Not with everything going on.”

When they finally reached the fairgrounds, which was farther south of Astoria than she
realized, Jade found herself a little impressed at the stage setup. It looked pretty professional
and not just the glorified platform she assumed it was going to be. The stage was on the edge
of a field nearest a big, white barn and a few metal buildings. A small carnival was sitting
dormant on the other side of the barn in another field, waiting for the crowds to start filtering
in for the final day of the fair.

Aspen pulled into the section of the grounds that was marked off for employees, parking not
far from a pair of large buses. A van with a trailer attached was parked beside them, giving
Jade the impression of a beach bum brother to a pair of lawyers. The sibling that they only
acknowledged at Christmas. A number of other vehicles were already in the lot, as well,
notably Scott’s truck. Jade had no idea what Billy or Meghan drove, though she did have the
(hilarious) fleeting mental image of the gigantic Billy cramming into the Mini Cooper a few
spots down from Aspen.

The warmth of the sun hit Jade as she stepped out of the green four-door Aspen drove. The
days leading up to the Fourth had been overcast and cool, so the change was welcomed, even
though it was going to be significantly cooler than what LA would be this time of year. Jade
had dressed the part that morning, grabbing her red flannel shirt and a black tank top,
complete with black jeans (tastefully ripped) and her red boots. More securely tied this time.
Her ankle had felt better after a few days, but she wasn’t taking any chances.

Jade trailed after Aspen once the older girl had retrieved her fiddle from the back seat. She
caught herself staring at the mesmerizing sight of Aspen’s swaying butt in the tight blue jeans
she was wearing a couple of times and snapped her gaze up to the golden brown ponytail.
She thanked her acting teachers over the years for giving her the ability to fight off the blush
that threatened to break out on her face.

An older man, probably in his sixties, in a neon yellow T-shirt that marked him as a Sound of
Freedom Fest worker stopped them at a makeshift entrance to the backstage area. “Names?”
he said, making a show of licking his fingers to page through the clipboard he was holding.

“Really, James?” Aspen asked. “I’ve been here just about every night for the last week with
Scott helping to get set up.”

“Rules are rules, ma’am.”

That got a sigh. “Aspen Danvers. I’m with Saddle Mountain.”

When Jade didn’t answer immediately, Aspen turned and gave her a look. With an
exaggerated sigh, she said, “Jade West. Don’t make me say the band name.”
Aspen glared. “Saddle Mountain is not that bad. We could be named Doodlewhack or
something.”

Both Jade and James gave Aspen curious looks. The worker was the one that said what Jade
was thinking. “You came up with that pretty quickly, Miss Danvers.”

“One of my students decided that was his favorite word yesterday,” Aspen said with an eye
roll. “He would not stop laughing anytime he said it.”

“Remind me why you want to be a teacher again,” Jade said. She tried to picture herself
standing in front of a group of kids, trying not to blow her top at them when they acted out
the way she and her friends were capable of. Yeah, teaching was a definite hard no.

Aspen shrugged. “They can be annoying as all hell. But it’s so worth putting up with the bad
when one of them finally gets a chord progression, or anything they’ve been struggling with,
and their face lights up. Best feeling ever.”

James laughed and said, “I understand. Wife was a fourth grade teacher for thirty years. All
right, you’re both good to go. Just wear these badges at all times. Gets you in the catering
tent and, more importantly, the good port-a-potties.”

They both dutifully slung the lanyards over their heads and entered the backstage area. A
buzz of activity surrounded them, as techs were rushing here and there to get everything set
for the start of the music festival. She noticed a couple of different band shirts, wondering
just how many acts were performing. Saddle Mountain, she knew, had forty-five minutes,
which, in truth, was plenty for them, considering they were the first act and a bluegrass band.
She imagined whoever the headliner was had a couple of hours.

Scott was waiting for them near the entrance to the stage. He gestured with his head to
follow, reaching out for Aspen’s free hand to walk with her up the ramp. The activity on the
stage was just as frantic, as equipment was being moved about and a drum set was being
assembled for the act after them. Billy was already waiting near the microphones, though
Nick and Meghan were nowhere to be found yet.

“Nick’s bringing Meghan,” Scott explained at Jade’s question. “Doesn’t have enough room in
her car for her bass. Should be here in a few.”

Jade nodded and decided to drop down on the edge of the stage, letting her legs dangle, and
pulled out the notebook again. A couple more things to apologize for had popped into her
head and she needed to write them down before she got wrapped up in the performance.
Should she apologize for antagonizing Tori into getting jealous over Cat and Danny? Sure, it
turned out fine (after Cat had punched Tori), but still. It wouldn’t have happened had she not
been a little bored and wanting to be entertained.

After a silent debate, she added it to the list. Along with that time she got rid of some gum in
Tori’s English textbook.

Nick and Meghan finally showed up ten minutes after they were supposed to have done their
soundcheck. Scott just shot them both a silent glare, which Nick shied away from while
Meghan just stuck her tongue out. It was such a little sister move. Thankfully, though, the
fact that they were a bluegrass band worked in their favor, as their set up was minimal. The
sound tech was still able to get everything calibrated properly in the allotted time before the
next band, Holy Highway Revival, was slated for their soundcheck.

With nothing else to do for another ninety minutes before the gates opened and they were
slated to start, Jade found herself sitting in the hospitality tent, yet again bent over her
notebook. She was up to four pages now and, seriously, why was she doing this to herself?
Surely she had enough by now to satisfy David and not find herself homeless. At this point,
Jade was just torturing herself with how terrible a friend she had been.

“Not sure I’ve ever seen anyone hate-write before.”

The sudden intrusion into her thoughts snapped Jade’s scowl up from the notebook to find
that she wasn’t alone at the table any longer. A smirking blonde in an orange baseball cap
was sitting across from her, a plate filled with eggs, bacon, and fruit. The girl looked to be
about Jade’s age and something about her was familiar, but Jade couldn’t place it.

“Whatever,” Jade muttered, trying to shut down any conversation. She checked her phone,
finding a text from Tori saying that they were on the way and a grumpy cat meme from Cat
that had something to do with Trina’s morning bathroom routine.

“And now she smiles.”

Jade let out an exaggerated groan and glared at the girl. “How about you choke on that
grape?”

In answer, the girl plucked said grape off her fruit pile and popped it in her mouth, making a
show of slowly chewing it. Jade felt her anger bubbling up and wasn’t sure just, what, exactly
was irritating her more about the girl. It could have been the unwanted intrusion, it could be
the bratty attitude. Maybe the ugly ass, burnt orange, University of Texas shirt and hat she
was wearing. Most likely it was the twang in her voice. Jade hated Texas.

Slamming her notebook shut and shoving it back into her bag, Jade started to stand when the
girl said, “Wow, temperamental much? You must be a blast to date.”

“Shove it.” It was petty and immature, but Jade really didn’t care at that point. She turned on
her heel and stormed toward the entrance to the tent, almost running into Scott.

“Gates opened. We’re on in twenty.”

“Great,” Jade bit out and jerked her thumb over her shoulder. “Anything to get away from
Redneck Barbie over there. I don’t know who that gank thinks…”

“Jade,” Scott interrupted, his voice low. “You seriously don’t know who that is?”

She glanced back over her shoulder at the girl, who, blissfully, was focused on her plate and
not them. “Not a fucking clue.”
“That’s Cassidy Hunter,” he said as if that should have been enough of an answer. At Jade’s
blank look, Scott sighed and added, “She’s about to become the biggest country artist of the
past decade.”

“You know that means less than nothing to me, right?”

“You’ve had to have heard her song, though. ‘Never Needed You’? It’s all over the place.”

That weird familiarity earlier clicked into place. Jade did know who she was and that song, as
well. Cassidy had performed it at the Platinum Music Awards and was around when Jade was
rehearsing in those two days she had replaced Tori. In fact, they had interacted a few times,
now that she thought back to it. Jade couldn’t remember a damn thing they said to each other,
though, since she was being rushed around to fittings and whatnot.

“Fuck,” Jade said a little too loudly. The few people milling about the tent shot her
disapproving looks, with one exception, who just let out a bark of a laugh. To Scott, she
asked, “What the hell is she doing here ?”

“We got lucky,” he said. He was part of the festival committee, apparently, that helped get the
acts. Or something. He explained, she dutifully retained only part of it. “We book a year and
a half out, so, when we signed her, she was still somewhat unknown. But that girl is going to
be selling out stadiums, not county fairs, in under two years.”

Jade let out a frustrated huff and knew what she had to do. She really didn’t want to, though.
But Beck would want her to, and so would Tori. “Give me a couple of minutes. I’ll meet you
onstage.”

Scott gave her a funny look, but nodded and turned to leave. Jade took a couple of deep
breaths to calm her temper and spun on her heels. Cassidy was still sitting at the table, now
engrossed in her phone, her half-full plate forgotten. Jade stomped over and stood impatiently
at the girl’s right elbow, arms crossed defensively over her chest. Cassidy didn’t acknowledge
her right away, instead tapping away at some inane Tweet or another. Jade didn’t really care.

Finally, Cassidy looked up and gave Jade a smug smile that she wanted to smack off her face.
“Can I help you? Did you want an autograph or something?”

Jade ground her teeth and forced herself to say, “Sorry I was a…”

“Bitch?” Cassidy finished when Jade didn’t. “It’s all right. Kinda used to it.”

“Right.” Jade worked her jaw and turned to walk away. “Well. Bye.”

All that got was a light laugh. “I’d say break a leg out there, but I remember the Platinum
Awards. You’d take that literally and injure some poor stagehand.”

That stopped Jade in mid-step. “You…remember me?”

“Jade West,” Cassidy said with a nod. “You were kind of unforgettable. Especially with that
whole ‘switching out at the last minute’ thing. Mason was so pissed. It was really funny.”
“Fuck that guy.”

Jade had said it reflexively, but it got a laugh out of Cassidy nonetheless. “No shit. What a
douchenozzle. I feel for that girl he made do all that stupid shit. Y’know, the astronaut thing
and them dumb outfits. Heard she had a mental breakdown over it and got put on a psych
hold. That’s why you replaced her.”

Jade’s outrage spiked. “Is that what that British asshole is telling people?”

“Don’t know,” Cassidy said with a careless shrug. “Just what I heard.”

“Well, it’s wrong.”

“Okay,” Cassidy said slowly, shooting Jade a weary look. Belatedly, she realized she was a
little louder in her correction than she maybe had intended to be. As in, everyone in the tent
was now openly staring at her.

Jade squeezed her eyes shut and forced herself to take a deep, calming breath. “Whatever.
I’m leaving now.”

“Hey, wait up,” Cassidy called, a grin evident in her voice, as Jade spun on her heels and
started marching out of the tent.

The loud groan that escaped from Jade drew a small chuckle from Cassidy as she stood from
her table and jogged to catch up with the taller girl’s strides. “Why are you following me?”

“Mostly because I can tell it annoys you,” Cassidy said. Jade caught the shit-eating grin on
the other girl’s face from the corner of her eye as they continued toward the stage. “I also
wanted to ask what was up with the switcheroo. I’m mean, first it was the second-hand Gaga,
then it was you, then it was some other chick who came out of nowhere.”

Jade stopped at the end of the ramp up the stage and ground out, “The ‘second-hand Gaga’
and the girl who performed were the same person.”

“Wait, seriously?” Cassidy blinked. “Well, son of a gun. Those outfits did a good job of
hiding who she was.”

“Yeah,” Jade said, not even trying a little to hide her annoyance. “It was some real Hannah
Montana bullshit. If you don’t mind, we’re about to go on. So, just go do whatever it is you
Texas people do for fun. I think there are cows over at one of those metal buildings you can
tip.”

Cassidy responded with the worst fake crying Jade had seen in a hot minute. “Are you
embarrassed to be seen with me? Is that it? And here I thought we were friends.”

Why? Why won’t this gank leave me alone? Jade thought. And then took a moment to verify
that she didn’t say it out loud. “We are not friends. We are not going to be friends. I am going
to forget we met as soon as I walk away from you.”
“Nah, we’re friends,” Cassidy said with a smirk, crocodile tears suddenly gone. “But you do
need to go get ready. I don’t know why you keep insisting on wasting time with little ol’ me.”

With that the girl turned and started actually skipping off. Jade watched for a long moment,
her right eye twitching slightly, before storming up the ramp. Meghan saw her coming and
raised a hand in greeting when Cassidy’s voice called out again. “Oh, and Jade West? Break a
leg!”

Jade didn’t look back and felt her shoulders climb up near her ears. “Who was that?” Meghan
asked.

“A fucking rash in human form,” Jade bit out.

Meghan’s eyes narrowed at the retreating back of the girl. “Wait. Was that…Jade, was that
Cassidy Hunter? You know Cassidy Hunter?”

Jade glared and thrust a finger in Meghan’s face. “Don’t say her name again.”

“Why not?”

“It probably summons her,” Jade growled. “Like a stupid poltergeist or something.”

“Pretty sure that’s just Beetlejuice.”

“I’m taking no chances.”

“You are an odd one,” Meghan said after staring at her for a moment.

Jade’s response died on her lips as someone started speaking into the main microphone on-
stage, welcoming people to the Sound of Freedom Festival. Jade risked a look out at the
crowd and was a little shocked at the several hundred that were already gathered. Allegedly,
up to ten thousand were expected by the end of the night for Cassidy, which, considering her
soaring popularity, did make sense. Scott had told her that a normal year brought out half that
number for acts that were either just barely known or fading stars desperately trying to hold
onto relevancy.

When they were called onstage, Jade allowed everything else to fade out. Tori, her own
crappy version of friendship, annoying pop-country ganks, her father; it was all shoved into a
box in the back of her mind labeled “Future Jade’s Problem.” She plastered a fake smile on
her face and waved slightly when Scott introduced her as a special guest vocalist and then did
her best to only focus on her parts of the music, mainly providing back-up vocals, though she
did have a couple of solos, “Harlan” included.

By consensus, they saved “The Chain” for their final song. Once again, it just clicked, and
the crowd showed their approval with a raucous ovation once they finished. Jade was a little
shocked at how it had grown during their forty-five minute set, as she had zoned them out.
Saddle Mountain took their bows, huge smiles on everyone’s faces (even her own), and they
shuffled off-stage quickly, since they had to make room. The applause backstage was just as
big as they came off, and even Holy Highway Revival took a moment to say they crushed it.
Jade wasn’t sure, but she thought she saw burnt orange on the other side of the stage.

The others packed up their instruments, while Jade stood off to the side, feeling somewhat
awkward since she only had her messenger bag to collect. Once they were finished, Jade
made a beeline for the courtesy tent and grabbed a bottle of water from the giant horse trough
filled with (mostly melted) ice. Greedily, she sucked it down. Aspen smirked as she followed
suit.

“Thirsty?”

“No,” Jade said shortly.

“You were great out there,” Aspen said, nudging her slightly with her shoulder. “I know you
hated every minute, but you were great.”

Jade rolled her eyes around a second bottle of water. “Thanks. It…didn’t suck.”

“Enough to do another show? We’re playing at a waterfront bar next week.”

“Don’t push it,” Jade said, though she didn’t outright hate the idea. Her phone buzzed in her
back pocket, letting her know that Tori and the others were at the back gate. “See you.”

“Tell Tori I said hi,” Aspen said teasingly.

Jade answered with her middle finger as she stalked out. She gave a short wave to Scott and
Meghan, who were standing by the stage talking about something or other. Neither really
paid her much attention. The next band up after Holy Highway Revival (whose name she had
no idea of) was filing in, looking weary as if they had just emerged from an all-night bender.
Which probably wasn’t entirely far off.

After exchanging a nod with James as she left the backstage area, Jade quickly located the
Vegas, Cat, and Andre. Well, more like Cat located her, as she squealed loudly and launched
herself at Jade in a crushing hug that staggered her back a couple of steps. Jade accepted it
stiffly, awkwardly patting the girl on the back and letting the hug go exactly fifteen seconds.

“Cat,” Jade said warningly. When the embrace wasn’t released, she let out a small growl.
“Three. Two…”

“I’m done,” Cat said, dancing back a couple of steps and giggling.

“Hey,” Tori greeted and stepped into Cat’s place. This hug went on a lot longer and Jade felt
no need to start counting down. “You were awesome.”

“Thanks,” Jade said softly. When the embrace finally ended, she accepted congratulations
from both Vega parents and Andre, who offered a fist bump in lieu of a hug. Trina even said
the band sounded great, though she would have made it sound better, which was pretty on-
brand for Trina.

“We’re going to the carnival,” Cat exclaimed, practically vibrating. “I’m going to eat cotton
candy and giant corn dogs and kettle corn and then go on all the rides…”
“Let’s maybe go on the rides first and then eat all those things, Lil’ Red,” Andre said with a
laugh.

“But I want a giant corn dog,” Cat said with a pout.

“How about that first, then some rides, and then we get you some kettle corn,” Holly said
with a fond smile.

“Kay, kay,” Cat chirped happily.

Jade shook her head fondly and started to follow the others across the fairgrounds. After a
few steps, though, a thought occurred to her and she stopped to grab Tori’s arm. At her
confused look, Jade said, “I need to talk to you about something. Privately.”

Tori looked in her eyes for a moment before nodding and turning to the others, who had also
stopped. “We’ll catch up.”

“Okay, sweetie,” Holly said with a nod and a smile at the pair.

After the others were a good distance away, Tori turned back to Jade and asked, “What’s up?”

“Okay, first, I wanted to warn you,” Jade said, leading the way over to where some bleachers
had been set up in one of the metal buildings. It smelled strongly of animals and hay was
everywhere on the ground. After sitting down, she continued, “Cassidy Hunter is here.”

“Yeah, I know,” Tori said, confusion on her face. “So?”

“She remembers us from the Platinum Awards,” Jade said. “Well, mostly me, for some
reason. She thought you were two different people.”

Tori made a face. “Oh.”

“I just didn’t want you to be caught off-guard like when Susan recognized you.”

“That was a little different, since I was already freaking out,” Tori said and grabbed Jade’s
hand, which had been fiddling with one of the rips on her jeans. She gave it a squeeze. “But
thank you for the heads up. What else did you want to talk about?”

Jade looked away and cleared her throat. “What makes you think there was something else?”

She was stalling. She knew she was stalling. Frustratingly, Tori also knew she was stalling.
“You said ‘first’ about Cassidy. Also, you wouldn’t have insisted on privacy for that.”

The notebook in her bag felt like it had a spotlight shining on it, drawing her attention. Jade
didn’t want to, didn’t want to risk the friendship that had built, that she had come to cherish.
The faint possibility of more if she could ever get her shit together. She also didn’t want to
cause a breakdown, because God knows how Tori would react. But she had promised David
and Jade really found she didn’t want to go back to the motel, or worse.
Jade had found she liked being around the Vega family. Even Trina. She didn’t want to give it
up.

It was very fucking weird to her.

Slowly, she opened her bag and pulled out the notebook. She thumbed through the pages until
she came to the list she had made and took a deep breath. “Read this.”

“What is it?”

“Just…read it,” Jade said with a frustrated sigh. “Please?”

Tori frowned and took the notebook. She pushed her glasses up her nose and Jade saw the
frown lines deepen as she started reading what Jade had titled at the top of the page “Things I
did to Tori and am sorry for.” Tori’s eyes flickered back and forth quickly, taking in each
entry on the page and, occasionally, up to Jade before going back to the notebook.

Jade could feel her anxiety spiking the longer Tori quietly read. At one point, she had
obviously started over and was going much, much slower. The only sounds between them
were the turning of a page, with the soundtrack to their tension the combined sounds from the
concert behind them and the carnival just getting underway before them. The fairgrounds,
themselves, were fairly silent, save for the chatter and laughter of people traveling from one
or the other.

Finally, Tori looked up at Jade with a mix of confusion, concern, and suspicion. “Jade…
what…um…”

She trailed off and frustration was plain on her face. Jade knew that look. It was a ‘brain
glitch’ look. “Why?” Tori asked finally.

“Can’t I just want to apologize for being a gank?”

“Yes,” Tori said. Jade winced at the shortened sentences. “But why?”

As in, What prompted this? Jade sighed and said, “Your dad may have suggested it after I
panicked and admitted to stealing your blood during that whole Steamboat Suzy shitshow.”

“Seriously?”

Jade shrugged awkwardly. “I mean, I probably should have done so a long time ago? But I
just…you know me. That’s why I wrote it down. I didn’t want to screw it up and, as weird as
this is to admit, I really didn’t want to have to go back to the Bayview…”

“Wait,” Tori interrupted and holy shit. Jade now knew that she had never seen Tori angry
before. The look of outrage on her face was so utterly foreign that Jade didn’t know what to
do and had to fight a recoil.

It was also kind of hot.

God, she was messed up.

“Dad told you he would kick you out if you didn’t apologize?”

Embarrassed, Jade looked away and gave a curt nod. She heard a faint, “Unbelievable,” and
turned around to find Tori already down the bleachers and marching across the fairgrounds.
Jade sat in stunned silence for a moment before collecting her things and trying to catch up
with Tori. She really didn’t want her doing anything stupid, especially on her behalf.
Shockingly, though, Tori was moving quickly, much faster than she had at all this summer, as
if her knee wasn’t bothering her at all.

She came across a bewildered Willa not far from the metal building, who reached out a hand
to grab her elbow. “What the absolute fuck is going on?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Oh, no,” Willa said with a pointed look. “That wasn’t nothing. That was a hell of a lot of
something. What did you do?”

That got a glare. “What makes you think I did something?”

“Someone doesn’t storm away that angrily if they’re the cause.”

“Fine,” Jade bit out. “Her dad made me apologize for all the crap I’ve pulled on her.”

Willa frowned. “Why would that piss her off so much? Unless you killed her dog and she
didn’t know about it.”

That got a suspicious narrowing of the eyes. “You didn’t, did you?”

“No!” Jade shouted. “Seriously?”

Willa shrugged. “You do threaten to stab people with scissors a lot.”

“Puppies are not people,” Jade ground out. “I hate dogs, but I’m not going to stab them. I’m
not a monster.”

“But people are okay?”

“People suck.”

A pregnant pause followed that. “Yeah, okay. I can get on board with that. Still doesn’t
explain what Cheekbones was so pissed about.”

Jade let out a frustrated growl. “Can you just drop this?”

“Nope. My sacred duty as your mentor and all.”

“Fucking fine.” The words came out in an angry shout that caused a few people nearby to
look over in shock. Not that Jade paid them much attention. “Her dad threatened to kick me
out if I didn’t.”
“WHAT?”

She wasn’t expecting the outrage on Willa’s face. A patronizing blow off of her concerns,
yes. Maybe, maybe , some indignation or a commiserating, ‘what an asshole.’ Not full-on
anger like with Tori. It was disconcerting; she had only seen Willa angry once, and that was
at Rex’s during Tori’s breakdown. It was as uncomfortable now as it was then, and didn’t fit
the other girl at all. She was supposed to be annoyingly cheerful and overbearing, not looking
like she was about to go to jail for assaulting a cop.

Jade didn’t think and reached out to grab Willa in a hug. “Hey. Whoa. Chill. I’m not worth
getting this upset over.”

Willa pushed her back a little and now the outrage was turned toward her. “The fuck, Jade?
Of course you are. In all these decades we’ve known each other…”

“It’s been a month.”

A slight smile curled Willa’s lips. “I care about you, all right? People are allowed to do that
and, y’know, not want to see you get hurt.”

“Jade?”

Both girls stiffened and turned to see a contrite David Vega standing a few feet away. Tori
was a few paces back, looking much calmer and even a little embarrassed. He glanced at
Willa and asked, “Would you mind if I talked to Jade alone?”

Jade gave a nod at Willa’s unspoken question and watched as she walked over to Tori, but not
without giving David the ‘I’m watching you’ gesture first. That got a small laugh at the
audacity from both Jade and the sergeant. He stood before her, awkwardly rubbing the back
of his neck, plainly not sure where to start.

Finally, at Tori’s loudly cleared throat, he sighed and said, “I gave you the wrong idea, I
think, and I’m truly sorry for that. I had no intention of kicking you out if you didn’t
apologize. Jade, you have a room with us for as long as you want it. That goes for after this
summer, also, okay? That’s what I was trying to get at this morning when I got derailed by
the whole stealing blood thing.”

Jade frowned in confusion. “Wait, really?”

David nodded solemnly. “Holly mentioned that you…don’t have the best home life.” Jade
snorted at the understatement, though she also recognized that he said it as a way for her to
save a little face. “We both want you to know if, for whatever reason, you need a place to go,
our home is open to you.”

“Oh.” Jade looked at the ground and kicked at a rock she saw on the ground. She didn’t know
what the appropriate response was here. A ‘thank you’ was obvious, but did he expect a hug?
A handshake? A manly punch on the shoulder? Jade settled for a nod. “Thank you.”
“Welcome,” David said shortly and she realized that he was just as uncomfortable as she was.
Which made her feel loads better and like they understood each other more than she realized.
Softer, so only she could hear, he added, “Thank you for apologizing. Even if you didn’t
mean it.”

“I did,” Jade said quickly. “All of it. Well, most of it. Like seventy, seventy-five percent of
it.”

At David’s raised eyebrow ( and, holy shit, did everyone in this family have the same damn
eyebrow? Freaky ), Jade shrugged self-consciously. “She’s fun to get a rise out of.”

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Jade…just…please tell me the blood was the
worst of it.”

“Are we counting the time I pushed her off a two-story building?”

“WHAT?”

“There was a stunt bag.”

“TORI!”
 Chapter 13
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Since they arrived, Jade’s focus had been taken up by the play, and work, and the festival, so
she hadn’t really had time for Andre and Cat. She didn’t feel overly guilty about it, though,
since their visit was for Tori’s benefit. Jade West wasn’t really essential to the equation, at
least as far as she was concerned.

Cat, it seemed, didn’t share that view point.

“Jade?” The not-quite-a-whisper was followed by a poke on the face that pulled Jade out of
her deep sleep just enough to register Cat sitting cross-legged on her side of the bed they
were sharing.

She rolled over to face the wall and pulled the covers tighter over her head. She didn’t have
to be up at the ass-crack of dawn for once and was taking advantage, damn it. “Go away,” she
mumbled into the pillow.

“But I’m bored.”

Jade groaned loudly. “There’s a million Vegas here. Go bug one of them.”

Cat let out a huff. “Tori’s dad isn’t any fun and Tori’s mom had a work emergency and we are
not to, under any circumstances, go into the office. She made sure to stress that several
times.”

“Trina, then.”

The bed shook slightly and there was another poke in the general vicinity of her cheek.
“Trina needs another two hours for her beauty sleep.”

“And I don’t?”

“Of course not, Jay-Jay,” Cat said with a giggle. “Come on. Let’s go feed the seagulls or, oh,
oh…

“It’s too early for The Little Mermaid ,” Jade said, deciding she was too tired to make a fuss
about the nickname. “What about Tori and Andre?”

“They went for a walk on the beach,” Cat said with a dejected sigh. “They left before I woke
up.”

“Oh,” Jade said and sat up, the blanket falling off of her. She scooted until her back was
against the headboard, folding her arms across her chest defensively. Her grumpy mood at
not being allowed to sleep in had suddenly spiked even further and, seriously, what the fuck?
She was well acquainted with the feeling that had suddenly bubbled up at Cat’s words.
Jealousy. For almost three years, Jade felt a jolt of it at least once per day. Hell, it happened
so often, there was probably that PearMaps pic of Jade picking her nose next to the entry on
Dictionary.com. Tori was even the cause of her jealousy flares more often than not, leading to
fights with Beck that, yeah, were a little over the top. Jade couldn’t stop herself, even if she
had wanted to, though. Something about him just drove her nuts, both in the best and worst of
ways.

Which, yeah. Totally toxic. They both could admit it, at least.

The fight that pushed the boulder over the edge that finally smashed her relationship with
Beck had actually been about Tori. Well, the way Jade had goaded Tori into fighting the
gorilla at The Gorilla Club and breaking both her arms. Afterward, Jade had felt a little guilty
about the whole thing (which had been new and unexpected and she hated the feeling), but
Beck wouldn’t leave it alone. Even after she kind-of apologized to Tori with a mocha. He just
kept picking at her, making little comments he knew were getting under her skin. And Jade,
of course, responded in kind; how could she not? It’s just how she was wired.

Most of the time, it came at Tori’s unfortunate expense, as Beck had seemingly made it his
mission to be helpful while she lacked both of her arms. They broke up twice that week,
actually, though they managed to smooth it over just enough both times. Ultimately, all they
accomplished was putting off the inevitable for a few more weeks until they imploded
completely.

“Why do you have resting Beck face?”

Cat’s voice startled Jade out of her thoughts and she snapped her head over to the smaller
girl. “What?”

“The look on your face just now,” Cat said, seemingly oblivious to Jade’s mood worsening.
“It’s the same one you got when you and Beck were you and Beck and girls flirted with him.
Or he would pay attention to Tori.”

That last part rankled and Jade felt her shoulders tense. “Oh.”

Cat watched her thoughtfully for a moment before hesitantly asking, “Are you into Andre?”

Jade tilted her head in confusion at the sudden question. “What? No. Where did that come
from?”

“Well, you’ve got your resting Beck face…”

“Stop calling it that.”

“And it only seems to come out when you’re jealous,” Cat continued. “So I just assumed you
were jealous of Tori spending alone time with Andre.”

“Well, I’m not.”

“Okay, Jay-Jay.”
Jade groaned and leaned her head back against the headboard wearily. “You know I don’t like
that nickname, Cat.”

“Sorry,” Cat said mournfully. “You’ve just been so much like you before Ali lately that…”

Jade tilted her head curiously as Cat gasped and slapped her hands over her mouth, eyes
cartoonishly wide. “Cat?”

“Shit. Jade, I’m so sorry. I know I’m not supposed to mention…You Know Who.”

“Ali, Cat,” she said with a huff. “You can say her name. She’s not Voldemort.”

It didn’t hurt anymore to think of Ali. Well, no, that wasn’t true. It did, but for a different
reason. Before, she was enraged at the girl for the way her father treated her, his hateful
words poisoning Jade against her. Was it rational? Probably not, but then, no one has ever
accused Jade West of being rational under normal circumstances. And what happened with
Ali wasn’t anywhere close to ‘normal.’

Now, however, Jade felt regret when she thought of her former best friend. Regret that she
threw away a relationship that had meant a lot to her. That she had been a raging gank to Ali
right after the incident, calling her terrible names and pulling mean pranks that, more often
than not, got Jade sent to detention. By the time the spring of eighth grade had come around,
Jade had bullied her so much that Ali changed schools. After that, Jade was content to
pretend the other girl never existed, buried deep in her subconscious, as she threw herself into
the relationship with Beck.

I should start an apology notebook for Ali, Jade thought. Not that she’ll ever see it.

Cat’s eyes got even wider at Jade’s words, somehow, before she started laughing that
ridiculous laugh of hers. “Ali, Cat. Alley Cat! Get it, Jade? ‘Cause she’s Ali, and I’m Cat! It’s
our ship name!”

That got a loud groan. “Cat, you’re not even into girls.”

“I know that,” Cat said, bouncing happily on the bed a little. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t
have one! You and Tori do.”

“We…what?”

Panic surged in Jade at Cat’s declaration. There was no way, absolutely no way, her feelings
for Tori had already made the rounds of Hollywood Arts. It was fucking impossible, since
Jade didn’t even realize they were there until that fucking camping trip three weeks ago . And
Tori was still (mostly) in the closet, as far as she knew, so it’s not like people knew to start
trying to put her with other girls at school.

Oh, God, Jade thought. Those Slap videos Tori took. That must be it. They were pretty
intimate, what with the fire and just being me singing. She didn’t even show up in her own
videos. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. Dad will probably have the locks changed by the
time I get back. Mom’s forced to pay my tuition, and my car’s paid for, so I’ll still have that.
Shit, I hope Sergeant Vega’s offer was legit and…

“The tech students came up with it during that weird play of Sikowitz’s,” Cat said, breaking
through Jade’s internal (she hoped) panic. “You know, the one where you and Tori were
married and she kept falling asleep in your boobs?”

Just as quickly as the panic swelled, it deflated, leaving Jade feeling a little whiplash. Dad
didn’t know. I’m okay. Okay. Okay.

Jade managed to find her voice at Cat’s prodding finger, realizing she hadn’t answered. “Yes,
I remember that stupid play. Hard to forget Tori drooling in my cleavage.”

“Do you want to know your ship name?” Cat said excitedly, again bouncing.

“No.”

“Tode!”

“Toad?” Jade said, eyes narrowing. “Our ship name is an amphibian that can give you
warts?”

“Of course not, silly,” Cat said brightly. “Toads are all cute and hoppy.”

“Cat,” Jade said, then let out a long, calming breath. “You named us, didn’t you?”

“No.”

“Cat.”

“No?”

“Cat.”

The girl in question looked down at the comforter and said dejectedly, “Yes.”

Jade sighed. “Can we change it to…anything else?”

“Nope,” Cat chirped and hopped off the bed, pumping her arms slowly like they were train
wheels. “The Tode train has left the station. Choo, choo!”

Jade tried to fight back the laugh that bubbled up at the sight, but a small giggle escaped
anyway to her utter dismay. Jade West does not giggle. “You’re insane. You know that, right?
Completely insane.”

“My brother was declared insane,” Cat said as she dropped back onto the bed. She paused
and frowned in thought. “It was by Gus, the seafood guy, though, so I don’t know if it’s
legally binding.”
“Probably not,” Jade said with a sigh. She chewed on the inside of her cheek for a moment,
debating with herself if she really wanted to ask the question that had been burning in her
mind since Cat had brought it up. Part of her wanted to rebury the whole thing, but she knew
she wouldn’t be able to, not if she really did want to eventually pursue something with Tori.
Or anybody for that matter.

“Do you…” She trailed off and cleared her suddenly thick throat awkwardly. “Do you ever
hear from her?”

The confusion on Cat’s face was plain. “Who?”

“Ali.”

“Oh,” Cat said. She refused to meet Jade’s eyes, instead focusing on a loose thread on the
comforter. “Yeah.”

“Oh,” Jade repeated lamely. Thankfully, the normal heat that would accompany that response
was missing. “How…how is she?”

“Okay,” Cat said. Her normal bubbliness was completely absent now. Even her voice lost the
high-pitched, little girl quality she had affected over the past year or so. Jade hated seeing Cat
be serious. It was weird and wrong and felt… icky . “Her dad had to retire, so he’s teaching at
Stanford’s medical school. They moved there last year.”

“Why?” Jade asked, confused because Ali’s dad should be way too young to retire. Daniel Xi
had been a surgeon, last she had known. Ali had bragged about how good he was frequently,
being headhunted by a number of different hospitals nationwide. He always turned them
down, though, because he didn’t want to uproot his family.

“His hands got shaky.” The answer was simple and heartbreaking at the same time. Even with
the limited medical knowledge that Jade possessed, she knew shaky hands and surgeons did
not mix.

She didn’t really know how to respond to that, other than to, again, say, “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Cat said. The petite girl took a deep breath, looking like she was bracing herself for
something, and finally looked up at Jade. “Can I ask what happened? We were all best friends
and then suddenly you wouldn’t even look at her. And neither of you would tell me why.”

Jade looked up at the ceiling, taking a few moments to work through her own thoughts. Her
immediate impulse was to correct Cat on her assessment of their friendship, but Jade
swallowed that. To her now-embarrassment, she really hadn’t considered Cat a friend so
much as an obligation after they met in seventh grade and Jade learned of her family
situation. Her unfiltered outburst at Tori’s on the night of the breakup wasn’t far off from how
she viewed Cat for the longest time; a pet that followed her around and, in return, she made
sure was fed and watered. Jade had gotten into arguments with both Ali and Beck over it.

And then Tori fucking Vega came along. Tori with her boundless optimism and her caring
nature that wore down even Jade. Which then bled over into (most of) her other relationships.
Beck was the exception, as he was for most things. But Jade really had started trying more
with Cat, especially after the accident.

Cat struggled the most of all of them, it seemed, and needed someone to be there for her,
since Tori couldn’t anymore. That led to sleepovers and that one Slap video where Cat tried
to tell a fairy tale. Jade couldn’t stop herself from being a gank, but she had to admit it kind
of felt good to be there for the smaller girl.

Jade sighed roughly. She really didn’t want to have this conversation, not before ten a.m. and
definitely not before she had any coffee. But Cat had been there and deserved an explanation,
since even Ali apparently didn’t offer one.

Damn it.

“We, um, we…” Jade trailed off, trying to organize her thoughts. Cat wasn’t her father, she
had to remind herself. The girl didn’t have a judgmental bone in her body. She’ll be okay with
it. Just tell her, dumbass. “We were slightly…more than friends.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Cat asked. Jade didn’t respond, letting Cat work it out for
herself. Contrary to popular belief, she wasn’t dumb, just unable to focus, which led her to do
dumb things. If Cat’s parents weren’t so distracted by her psychopath brother, they would
probably have had her on at least ADHD medication by now. As it was, she had to
concentrate really hard to break through the noise and focus. Most of the time, Cat didn’t
bother. The arts were the lone exception.

Jade saw the moment when Cat worked it out, as her brown eyes widened and she squeaked
out, “Oh. Oh! You and Ali…”

“Tongue wrestled, yeah.”

Cat gave an offended huff and slapped Jade's arm. “Gross. So, what does that mean?”

Jade gave her a confused look and asked, “Do I really have to explain French kissing to
you?”

“No,” Cat said, exasperation plain in her voice. “I meant, like, for you. Are you…?”

"I hate labels," Jade snapped, but then sighed at the hurt look on Cat’s face. It was fucking
impossible to say no to her. “Sorry. I’m still not comfortable with…it. Still trying to figure
shit out.”

“Okay,” Cat said, head bobbing comically. “So, what happened with Ali?”

She decided to give a heavily edited version. “Dad caught us.”

“I don’t like your dad,” Cat said automatically.

That got a snort of derision in response. “I don’t think anyone does. Not even Wife Number
Two. She’s more interested in his country club membership.”
“What is her name, anyway?”

Jade shrugged. “Never bothered to learn it. It’s probably Blythe or Daphne. Something
pretentious.”

Silence fell over them, which was rare enough with Cat that Jade decided to relish it while it
lasted. In the distance, she heard David and Trina talking loudly about something, followed
by Holly shouting at them to keep it down. Normal Vega chaos. God help her, but she
actually didn’t hate it.

Of course, the silence couldn’t last forever. “I have her number.”

Jade blinked in confusion. “What? Who’s?”

“Ali’s,” Cat said, hands absently playing with her phone. “I can give it to you. If you want
it.”

Temptation swelled, but Jade shut it down with a shake of her head. “I’m not ready. Not yet.
I’m…working on it. I think. Maybe.”

Cat’s face broke out in a giant smile. “Kay, kay. Ooh, do you think Tori and Andre are back
yet? Do you think they found a sea cow?”

And Serious Cat Time is over , Jade thought with a mental sigh. “Why don’t you ask them?”

“Tori!”

And with that, Cat jumped from the bed and slammed the door open, leaving Jade behind to
gather her thoughts. Cat was probably the best option to come out to, willingly anyway. Such
as it was. She didn’t really count Tori or Willa, since that had almost been by necessity to
explain her breakdowns. Andre also wouldn’t judge, though Jade could see his boy-brain
shorting out as he had a dozen different pervy thoughts roll through it. Beck would be the
toughest because of their shared history. Robbie was…no. Just…no.

Slowly, Jade unwrapped herself from the blankets and slipped on a pair of yoga pants before
making to follow Cat downstairs. Holly just happened to throw open the door to the office
across the hall at the same time, stopping short when she saw Jade standing in the doorway to
her own room. Frustration was plain on her face, though Jade was trying not to laugh at the
sight of the nice, cream-colored blouse she had paired with fuzzy, plaid pajama pants.

“Jade, can you do me a favor?” Holly asked, her voice low.

She shrugged. “Sure?”

“Get them out of the house,” Holly said. It was more of a plea, really. She stopped just short
of grabbing her hands. “I have a video conference call in an hour that I’m still trying to work
out the presentation for and I keep getting interrupted every five minutes. Please.”

Jade let out a sigh that was entirely for show. “Fine. I’ll figure out something.”
“And take Trina.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Jade said, holding a finger up. “That’s asking too much.”

“I’ll pay.”

“Let me shower.”

Forty-five minutes, a shower, and a hundred dollars richer, Jade led the way into Georgie’s. If
she was going to entertain, she was loading up on coffee. The shop wasn’t busy, thankfully,
just a few of the regulars. Apparently, she had made enough of an impression on some of
them, because Old Man Gregory (who always ordered an apple cinnamon muffin to go with
his black coffee with a dash of cream and DAMN IT, I’m turning into Aspen) waved. While
Jade gave a half-hearted jerk of her head in acknowledgement, Tori full-on beamed and
practically skipped over to him and began a conversation like they were old school friends.

Andre watched her (a little too closely for Jade’s liking, damn jealousy) and shook his head.
“Girl still has never met a stranger.”

“Yeah, fucking Pollyanna, that one,” Jade bit out. “What do you want?”

Jesus, West. It’s fucking ANDRE . Get a damn grip on yourself.

He backed up a little, nerves plain on his face. “Um, just a mocha?”

“Fine,” Jade said and turned to the counter, only to let out a frustrated sigh. “Fuck’s sake. No
wonder Holly wanted her out of the house.”

Cat had her face pressed up to the display case for the baked goods. “...and three of the triple
chocolate brownies. Oh, and the lemon bars. Oh…”

“No,” Jade said loudly. Aspen, who was behind the counter, jumped at the sudden intrusion.

“But Jade…”

“No,” Jade repeated firmly. “I’m not being paid enough to deal with you bouncing off walls.
She’ll have an apple-cinnamon muffin and a small hot chocolate.”

Cat, who had been pouting, suddenly brightened at the order. “Yay! Hot chocolate!”

Jade watched her literally skip off to join Trina at Tori’s customary booth with Andre. Aspen
turned her attention to Jade and, wide-eyed, asked, “What the actual fuck?”

She punctuated her question with a vague gesture at the diminutive red-head and Jade gave
an eye roll. “You should meet her brother.”

“Fuck. There's two?” Aspen muttered and pulled the muffin from the case. “Anything else? I
assume you’ll make yours and Cheekbones’ drinks, like usual.”
“Like mine is so complicated,” Jade scoffed but rounded the counter anyway. “Andre wants a
mocha. The other Vega is suddenly worried about her teeth staining and ruining her perfect
smile, so is refraining from coffee.”

Aspen paused in making Cat’s hot chocolate. “Seriously?”

“I don’t pretend to understand Trina’s mind,” Jade said. Her hands were on autopilot,
essentially, as she put together Tori’s mocha. She made sure to give it an extra pump of
chocolate syrup. “Tori’s sent pics in our group text of her dipping her face in a giant fucking
bowl of mustard.”

“What, like the stuff you put on hot dogs?”

“Yep.”

Aspen just stared for a moment before hesitantly asking, “Does…that work?”

Jade shrugged and snagged a blueberry muffin for herself. “Fuck if I know. I’m not touching
that shit.”

Aspen let out a laugh and helped Jade carry the drinks over to the table. Jade tried not to let
her jealousy show at Andre having slid into the booth beside Tori. From Tori's confused look,
she failed at that miserably. Jade pulled up a spare chair from a nearby table and sipped her
coffee in grumpy silence, letting the others carry the conversation. Every time Andre opened
his mouth, she felt herself bristle and glare, which just put her in a worse mood because,
seriously? It’s just fucking Andre.

The plane was nosediving and Jade, for the life of her, couldn’t figure out the controls to pull
up. She never could, really. It’s not like she enjoyed being a clingy, jealous bitch. Well,
maybe slightly. But only when it was deserved. A therapist would probably tell her that it has
something to do with the lack of attention her parents’ paid toward Jade. Allegedly. Beck had
put up with it as long as he could, but he, ultimately, had given up.

With Tori, Jade was afraid she wouldn’t be able to even have the chance to crash and burn.
As much as she wanted to say fuck her old man, she was still so afraid of so many different
things. Jade knew she had gotten somewhat lucky that her bisexual reawakening had come
when she was surrounded by the best possible people for it. Not everyone would be so
understanding, she knew that and it was…daunting.

Plus, she wanted to break into an industry that was built around judging people; what they
looked like, what they sounded like, who they knew and didn’t know, and, yes, who they
dated. Jade wasn’t really sure she could withstand that, much less force Tori through it when
she could barely stand going to the store.

Oh, and Jade was just an asshole. That had to be taken into consideration, as well.

“So, what should we do the rest of the day?” Tori’s voice cut into Jade’s spiral.

“Have you done the Goonie tour yet?” Aspen asked, leaning against the booth.
“What’s that?” Tori asked.

“ The Goonies was filmed around here back in the eighties,” Aspen said. “There's, I think, ten
locations around town. And by the coast.”

“Sounds good to me,” Andre said.

“Oh, it sounds good to me,” Jade said in an overly deep, mocking voice. She refused to look
up from the tabletop.

“Okay, that’s it.” Her head snapped up to find Andre staring at her confusedly, obviously
trying to figure out what the hell he had done. Tori, however, looked pissed and was pushing
at Andre’s shoulder to get him to move. “Outside.”

Jade shifted in her chair. “Look, I’m…”

“No,” Tori interrupted. Jade was so shocked at having her ‘No’ thing thrown back in her face
her teeth clicked together painfully as she snapped her mouth shut. “Outside. Now.”

Free from the booth, Tori stalked outside the coffee shop. Everyone around the table
(thankfully, the shop had emptied out as they had drank their coffees) stared in stunned
silence for a long moment before Georgie, who was behind the counter, said loudly, “That’s
the same tone Dusty uses on me before I end up in the spare room for a few nights.”

“You’d better go, Spooky,” Trina said, a grin on her face. “You don’t want her coming back
in. She may have to punish you. Though, thinking about it, you’d probably be into that.”

“Fuck off, Vega,” Jade growled as she shoved herself to her feet.

“That wasn’t a no.”

Jade stalked off toward the entrance to the EmPOURium, flipping Trina off over her shoulder
as she did. As Jade reached the door, she heard Cat say, “I don’t get it.”

“Get what, Cat?” Andre asked.

“Why would Jade like getting punished by Tori?”

Thankfully, she didn’t hear the rest of the conversation as she stepped outside. Tori was
waiting at the side of the building, arms folded tightly across her chest. She gestured with her
head around the corner, where they wouldn’t be as in view of the front windows and the
highway traffic. Tori marched them down the grassy point toward Youngs Bay, stopping far
enough back from the water to not make Jade uncomfortable.

Neither spoke right away, both just watching the water. For her part, Jade didn’t want to make
things worse, since, yeah, she was being bitchy. So, instead, she fell back onto the habits
learned with Tori over the last few months and kept her mouth shut.

Finally, as if tired of waiting for Jade, Tori let out a small growl and said, “Wh-what is
your…your…"
Letting out a frustrated grunt, Tori turned away from Jade, who felt a swell of guilt. Well,
done. You've made her so angry her brain is glitching. You really are trying for Gank of the
Year today, aren't you?

Finally, after what felt like an hour, Tori asked, voice barely above a whisper, “What did he…
he do?”

Jade sighed, decidedly not looking at Tori. “Nothing.”

Tori threw her hands up in frustration. “Then what?”

Unfortunately, Jade's mouth didn't want to work, either. She worked her jaw, teeth grinding,
as she stared at some seagulls who had landed on some wooden poles sticking up out of the
water. With Beck, admitting she was jealous usually led to him giving some condescending
look, followed by a sigh and a somewhat hollow reassurance that there was nothing to be
jealous over.

She hated it. Every time, she hated it. Hated that she felt that way to begin with. Hated that
she couldn't just trust Beck to not be a cheating asshole. Hated that he never really did
anything to lessen her jealousy. Hated that condescending look. The hollow words. That she
forgave him every time.

With Tori, it was supposed to be different. For starters, Jade had no claim whatsoever; they
weren't even dating, no matter what Willa and Aspen said. Then there was the fact that Jade
was trying (God, how she was trying) to be a better version of herself. One that could let the
petty jealousy go.

Obviously, that still needed some workshopping.

“Jade?”

Right. Tori. I should probably answer. Truthfully. I should probably answer truthfully.

Jade let out a sigh. “Look, I know it's stupid, and I already hate myself for it, but, I guess you
can say that I'm maybe, kind of…jealous.”

That last bit was said in a mumbled rush. Jade hoped Tori caught it, though, because she
wasn't sure she could repeat herself. She risked a glance at the other girl and saw the shocked
expression on her face. Tori's mouth opened and shut a couple of times, with no words
coming out. It was as if she didn't know how to process the information.

Finally, she squeaked out, "Jealous? Of…me?"

Jade rolled her eyes and almost laughed despite the situation. “Of him , dork.”

“Huh?” Tori asked dumbly. Then her brain obviously caught up, because her brown eyes lit
up in understanding. “ Oh. ”

“Yeah.”
"So, that's why…"

"Yeah."

"Does that mean you’re ready to talk about…?"

Tori gestured between the two of them. Jade shook her head emphatically. “Nooooo. No.
No.”

It took a second for Jade to realize the way she responded could be taken the wrong way, and
Tori's face was on the verge of crumbling, so she quickly waved her hands. "Shit, sorry.
Sorry. I didn't mean that the way it…it's just…I can't even say that I'm…y'know without
panicking. I know you don’t really get it…”

“Wait,” Tori interrupted. Confusion was plain on her face and her head did that adorable head
tilt thing. “Why, uh, why don’t you think I would understand?”

“I just…” Jade trailed off, hugging herself. Once again, she turned her gaze to the ground
rather than see Tori’s face as she admitted the next part. “You’re much more comfortable with
it . And you’ve got awesome parents, who probably hugged you and promised to fly the
fucking pride flag every June. Mine are assholes who conditioned me to be an asshole. It’s
just not easy for me to accept… it .”

Tori let out a slow breath and took a few steps toward Jade, grabbing her bicep lightly. “Dad
doesn’t know.”

Jade’s head snapped up and she frowned at Tori. “He doesn’t?”

That got a head shake. “The only people I’ve come out to are you, Mom, and Andre.”

“ Oh .”

“Jesus, Jade,” Tori said, anger spiking back in her voice. “He’s my best friend. And you knew
before he did.”

“Sorry,” Jade said and meant it. She tilted her head wearily up to the blue sky above them. “I
really am trying to stop myself. Christ, no wonder Beck dumped me.”

Tori sighed and shuffled away to lean against a nearby tree. Jade followed and didn’t miss the
wince of discomfort as Tori took her weight off her right knee. “You okay?”

That got a nod, though it was a little slow. “Just…I may have tweaked it stomping off after
Dad yesterday at the fair. Didn’t feel it until this morning.”

“I’m sorry.” The words were out of her mouth before Jade realized what she was saying.
Christ, I’m doing that a lot lately.

“For what?” Tori asked. She wasn’t looking at Jade, though, instead keeping her eyes closed
as she kept the pressure off her leg.
“You hurt yourself because of me,” Jade said as if it were the simplest thing in the world. “It
wasn’t…you didn’t have to. I’m not worth that. Or you getting mad at your dad.”

Tori’s eyes snapped open, but her reaction to Jade’s proclamation was different than Willa’s
had been the night before. Whereas Willa was righteous indignation, Tori was looking at Jade
with a mixture of confusion and pity. That last, especially, grated on Jade’s nerves. She hated
being pitied.

“Jade,” Tori began, but paused and shook her head. What she said next was not at all what
Jade expected. “Your parents really did a number on you, didn’t they?”

A surprised bark of laughter left Jade. “No shit.”

Tori pushed off the tree and sucked in an audible hiss of pain as she put pressure on her leg.
Jade felt a wave of guilt and concern as she watched Tori squeeze her eyes shut and
grimaced. “Are you going to be okay if we do this Goonies thing?”

“Yeah,” Tori said softly. The strain was evident in her voice. “Just need to be off it for a
while. Maybe get some pain killers. I just…I thought I was past this.”

Jade realized she fell into the same trap that Trina had the night of the Karaoke Incident. Tori
had been…well, not exactly herself, but definitely close enough that Jade had let her guard
down a little. Enough that she had forgotten Tori was really just getting started with her
physical therapy. Sighing, Jade took the two strides to Tori’s side and slid her right arm over
Jade’s own shoulders. At Tori’s surprised look, Jade simply raised her eyebrow in challenge.

A silent conversation followed, which resulted in Jade helping Tori to the SUV’s middle row,
allowing Tori to stretch out and put her leg up. Popping her head back into the coffee shop,
she told the others they were leaving, standing aside as Cat and Trina made their way out.
Andre held back at a look from Jade, curiosity on his face.

If she had to put a word to her relationship with Andre, Jade would say ‘cordial.’ They were
only in the same circle because of Beck; those two had instantly bonded freshman year and
become the best of bros. So, it was only because she was dating Beck that Jade really got to
know Andre. It was impossible not to like him; he just had this way about him that
immediately put you at ease, despite the fact that the boy was almost as tightly wound as pre-
accident Tori. That didn’t mean they were particularly close; Jade’s nature meant that she
wasn’t really close to anyone.

Still, she considered Andre a friend. There was a reason he was the only one at Tori’s poker
table she didn’t mention when she and Beck broke up. Jade also wasn’t completely oblivious.
She had been well aware of his crush on her back last fall. She just had the decency to ignore
it, since Andre seemed to struggle with it so much. She was a bitch, but not that much of one.

“Hey,” she said as they faced off.

“Hey,” Andre repeated hesitantly, as if afraid she was about to lay into him again.
Jade sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m a gank. You didn’t deserve any of my
crap.”

He nodded and gave her a small grin. “Apology accepted. You ready to go be a Goonie?”

Jade frowned. “That’s it? You accept my apology? Just like that?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” he asked with a shrug. “This is kind of part of being friends with you.
You blow up at us, we wazz ourselves in fear. Then you do something to make up for it, we
forgive you, and move on.”

It hadn’t been mean-spirited at all, but the casual way Andre threw out his assessment of
being friends with her still felt like a gut-punch. Jade dropped down heavily in the booth
beside her, eyes staring blankly at the floor. Intellectually, she knew how she came across
from the outside. Others feared her at Hollywood Arts; Jade, at one point, reveled in that
perception. The way even upperclassmen would scatter when she stormed through the halls
gave her a bit of a rush. Here comes the Big, Bad Wolf. Everyone run.

Four months ago, that would have been enough. Before the Platinum Music Awards, Jade
would have been content in that and would have drawn strength from it. It was her armor.
Now, though? Now, that armor had cracked and Jade realized how little she truly had in her
life. Acquaintances, not friends. A house that sat mostly empty thanks to a broken family that
preferred being around others to herself. Even the one relationship she had to cling to slipped
through her grasp because Jade tried to hold on too tight, putting all her emotional needs into
that one person.

Maybe I should have taken Tori up on couples’ therapy.

“You…what?”

Jade’s head snapped up to find Andre and Aspen standing in front of her. Andre was staring
at her wide-eyed, jaw dropped comically. Aspen, meanwhile, was trying, and mostly failing,
to hold in a laugh.

“God fucking dammit,” Jade fumed. “Why can I not keep my internal thoughts fucking
internal anymore?”

“I don’t know,” Aspen said, her grin a mile wide. “But it is really entertaining.”

“Shut up,” Jade said, trying, and failing, to put a glare on her face.

“Did she really suggest couples therapy?” Andre asked. “Like, because you two…?”

Jade groaned and stood from the booth. “Dude, you know Tori. Half of what comes out of her
mouth is unintentionally dirty.”

Andre’s face scrunched up in thought. “That’s true. That or a dad joke. You ready?”

“Yeah,” Jade said and began walking toward the door. “I’ve had enough heavy conversations
for the rest of the week. Let’s go be fucking Goonies.”
“That’s the spirit,” Aspen called, voice thick with sarcasm.

If she were to be honest with anyone, Jade would admit that she enjoyed the day. She did find
herself thankful that she had limited Cat’s sugar intake. She was, of course, still hyper to the
point of Jade wanting to commit bodily harm, but it was not as bad as it could be. And, when
she felt her frustration and anger starting to boil over, a warm hand would slide into hers and
give a reassuring squeeze.

The first time it happened, Jade’s head snapped over to see Tori standing beside her, acting as
if nothing was amiss. The only indication was a small, soft smile that Jade took for support
more than amusement. It was so shocking, right there in front of their friends and anyone else
to see as they stood in front of a house that had been used in the movie, that Jade’s growing
displeasure at Cat’s…Cat-ness just dissipated instantly. A questioning look only got a bigger
grin and another squeeze before their hands parted and Tori limped forward to join Cat in
snapping a selfie.

It happened again in the Oregon Film Museum, which used to be the county jail. Jade had no
idea so many movies and shows were filmed not just in Oregon, but Astoria. That included a
silent film from 1909, which caused the film nerd in her to come out. She also made sure to
send Beck a pic of the Kindergarten Cop display. Right after hitting send, though, Trina
loudly started proclaiming how bored she was and that they should go where the boys were.
And, again, the building diatribe was immediately cut off when Tori’s hand found her own.

The third time Tori grabbed Jade’s hand had nothing to do with anything any of the others
had done. The final filming location they decided to visit was Cannon Beach, which was
forty minutes down the coast. The sun was sinking lower, though sunset was hours away yet,
but just something about the soothing way the waves crashed on the beach was perfect. Even
Cat was subdued as she sat in the (wet) sand next to Trina. Andre, Tori, and Jade were sitting
a bit back, on a drier patch, when Tori’s hand slipped into Jade’s again. That was followed by
the girl leaning her head on Jade’s shoulder.

Jade waited for the panic to rise. It was one thing to do this alone at the Vega house, or even
the quick squeezes to calm her down, but this was in full view of everyone. And the position
they were in could be only construed as intimate. Jade should be a mess, considering, but it
never came. She looked down at Tori, that green beanie obscuring most of her face, but she
could see the content smile. Her eyes slid toward Andre on her left, who plainly saw what
was happening, but the only sign he gave was a grin.

Cat did turn around at one point and start to squeal, but Trina forcefully turned her around
and made the younger girl look for sea cows. Once more, Jade found herself feeling
something other than hatred for Trina.

So, instead of the panic that she expected, Jade found herself looking around at those that
surrounded her. A warmth bubbled up in her chest that took her a while to put a word to; safe.
She felt safe and accepted around her friends. And they were definitely her friends; even
Trina. It led her to think that maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t be so bad to follow her heart.
And that maybe her life wasn’t as empty as she had thought it was.

So fucking weird.
Chapter End Notes

Did that feel like the end?

'Cuz that totally felt like the end.

But there's one more chapter listed. Weird. I wonder what's left in this stori?
 Chapter 14
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Something shifted with Jade that day at the beach.

Tori didn’t really notice it at first; she had always been granted special privileges by the
mercurial girl that Jade, herself, probably didn’t realize. Tori didn't appreciate that until
sophomore year was just about over. Specifically, when she stuffed Raisin Bran in Jade's
mouth at Sikowitz's and didn't even get a flinch.

Tori was certain that, had anyone else aside from Beck tried it (and, honestly, probably even
Beck), Jade would have been eliminated quickly. So, yes, Tori was allowed touching
privileges, though that never seemed to flow the other way. Not without prodding. Or Tori
was plainly about to have an anxiety-fueled meltdown.

Post-Cannon Beach, however, Jade would squeeze her hand quickly in reassurance when Tori
would struggle with her make-up homework (that she really needed to finish, since it was
somehow now August and they were returning to LA the next week). Or Jade would trail her
fingers across Tori’s shoulders as she walked behind the downstairs couch to get a refill on a
drink while they watched a movie. But, because they did regularly touch, Tori didn’t think
anything of it.

No, what made her realize that something was different was when she came downstairs after
a video chat with her therapist about a week after everyone, including Trina, had returned to
LA and saw her mom comforting Jade. Like, full-on comforting, with an arm across Jade’s
shoulders and the other rubbing her arm. Tori paused before the squeaky step on the stairs,
not wanting to interrupt whatever moment was happening. She was pretty sure she wasn’t
meant to see it. Instead, Tori retreated back up to the office and made a show of opening and
closing the door loudly. By the time she made her way back downstairs, Jade and her mom
had separated.

After that, she had kept a close eye on Jade’s interactions with others. Observing was
something that Tori had gotten good at since the…thing. Those months that she struggled to
get out any words at all, much less full thoughts, had pushed her to withdraw into herself.
When you don’t talk, when you don’t interact, when you really are nothing more than the
‘ghost’ that people thought that Ponnie person was, people tend to forget you are there. And
then they say things they wouldn't normally say in front of you.

That’s how she found out Neutronium Records had paid for a lot of her medical expenses.
Her parents had forgotten she was buried under blankets on the couch (she just couldn’t ever
stop shivering) when the messenger showed up with the certified check. The (very angry)
discussion that followed nearly had Tori falling into a panic attack. That she didn’t draw their
attention with her whimpers while she tried to get herself under control wasn’t entirely a
surprise. Tori loved her mom and dad, but one of the things they had needed to relearn after
the…thing was how to be parents.
Tori’s observation of Jade told her that the other girl was still touch averse with almost
everyone else. She didn’t react quite as strongly as she used to, when even the tiniest
accidental bump in the halls would result in a scream of rage. A curt ‘please don’t touch me’
was still uttered when someone would make unwanted contact, but it was definitely muted.
And Jade never initiated with anyone other than Tori.

She wanted to talk about it with someone, to get the thousand and one thoughts that were
buzzing in her head (buzzing, always buzzing) out, but Tori didn’t really know where to turn.
Andre was her best friend, but this was a bit beyond his capabilities. She loved Cat, but this
was also well beyond her. Beck was probably the most obvious choice, but Tori felt awkward
and guilty for even thinking about going to him to talk about her infatuation with his ex-
girlfriend. And the reason she gave for not kissing him.

God, my life is like some bad TV drama, Tori thought with a groan as she dropped her head
(carefully, always carefully) on the table of ‘her’ booth at Georgie’s.

“Something vexes thee?”

Tori’s head snapped up to find Willa in the booth across from her, innocently sipping
whatever it was that she drank. Aspen was working behind the counter (Jade was in the back
as nearly always), so that meant Tori never actually heard what the order was. You only
needed to order once with Aspen, it seemed, because she then remembered it if you came
back in again. Unless you threw a curve-ball and wanted something else, of course, but that
rarely happened.

Also, Willa. Why did she not think of Willa? She was Jade’s mentor, after all.

“Maybe,” Tori said, casting a glance back toward the swinging doors that led to the back.
Jade wasn’t due for a break for another hour, during which Tori was supposed to have her
trigonometry homework finished. Like, completely finished and ready to turn in. It was the
last of her make-up work she had to wrap up and it needed to be soon, since she had to sit her
finals after they got home to get cleared for her senior year.

The piano piece had been completed, thanks to Aspen and Andre’s help. She just had to
perform it when she got back to LA, as well as sit the finals in trig and Spanish. The paper on
electricity had been the easiest (relatively speaking; schoolwork didn’t seem to come to her
as easily anymore) and had been turned in before Andre and Cat had surprised her. As for
Sikowitz, Jade had already shot plenty of footage over the run of the play to satisfy that
requirement.

She hoped, anyway. Trying to anticipate Sikowitz was an exercise in madness at times.

The only other class that she hadn’t really brought up, and no one knew or thought to ask
about, was R&B Vocals. That one was a non-issue, thankfully, as Anthony took pity on Tori
due to her speech difficulties and said the performance at the PMA’s was good enough. After
all, he reasoned, a couple million ( Oh, God. Deep breath. Don’t think about it. ) people saw
her knock it out of the park.
Willa glanced down at the open textbook and made a disgusted face. “I’m no good with trig.
There are too many numbers and angles and numbers.”

“You said numbers twice.”

“I really hate numbers.”

The snort of laughter that escaped Tori felt good. It felt good to smile and laugh, even if,
sometimes, it was for show. She put pressure on herself to be Tori , especially once she
finally started showing signs of improvement. Her therapist, Cindy, had chided her when Tori
had brought that up in a session after Andre’s and Cat’s visit. She had tried, so hard, to be
upbeat and okay for them, but she couldn’t keep it up constantly. At least their presence was
welcome and didn’t feel like ants crawling on her skin, like it had those two weeks before she
fled (fleeing, always fleeing) from LA.

No, her main concern shouldn’t be making others happy, Cindy had said. Focus, instead, on
just getting healthy. Those who love her will understand that her recovery is a continuous
work in progress. Tori, however, was stubborn, so that message hadn’t quite sunk in yet.

“Seriously, though,” Willa continued. “What’s up?”

Tori bit her lower lip in thought. Willa obviously knew about Jade and her bisexuality (that
she totally wasn’t labeling herself as). Jade had told Tori about the camping trip from hell
(Jade’s words) and how Willa had helped her work through her panic at the realization she
wasn’t straight. So, maybe, she wasn’t the worst person to talk to about Tori’s…situationship
with Jade.

Georgie picked that moment to walk by the booth, though, which stopped Tori from voicing
her thoughts. It’s not that she didn’t like him. No, Tori just found she had a hard time opening
up to anyone, much less people she had barely known for two months. She was finally
talking to Cindy after four months. Really talking and not just giving shrugs and one-word
answers. The first time she video chatted with Andre one-on-one, without Jade there to act as
a safety net, it had taken Tori nearly an hour before she felt comfortable with her own best
friend. That she was even considering opening up to Willa was a sign of how much the older
girl had come to mean to Tori in such a short amount of time.

“Hello, girlfriends,” Georgie exclaimed happily. He slid into the booth next to Willa, nearly
crushing her into the window looking out onto the street. Tori had no problem believing he
had been a football player in his younger days. “You two ready for the last run this
weekend?”

Willa gave a big thumbs up, complete with a comically cheesy grin. “Absolutely! I am going
to Roxane the hell out of these last two performances.”

Another snort and a more genuine grin spread over Tori’s face. “You will, anyway. I’m just a
background player.”

“Oh, pish,” Georgie said with a fluttery handwave. “There are no small parts.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Tori said, feeling suddenly nostalgic. Sikowitz had said something similar to
Jade when she was complaining about Tori getting the lead in Sofia Michelle’s play back in
her first semester at Hollywood Arts.

Sure, brain, that you can pluck out of thin air, Tori thought with a small scowl. But when I
need you for this trig homework, you decide it’s time to watch the cars passing by.

“You’re moving back to Tinseltown next week, right?” Georgie asked, pulling Tori out of her
head. At her answering nod, he let out a wistful sigh. “Oh, how I wish I could join you. The
lights, the cameras. The hotties who decided to save money on T-shirts by never wearing
them.”

“Right on,” Willa said, offering a fist up. Georgie grinned and tapped it daintily.

Tori just rolled her eyes. “People don’t just walk around all the time in bathing suits, you
know. We actually do get a little chilly in the winter.”

Willa fixed her with a raised eyebrow and Wow, did she learn that from Jade? “It’s August
and currently seventy-five. That’s a heat wave for us. You can take your average of the
seventies in December and shove it, Cheekbones.”

Both Tori and Georgie turned their heads to give Willa confused looks. Georgie was the one
who asked the question they both were wondering. “Why do you know that?”

Willa’s face lit up in, maybe, the first blush Tori had ever seen on her face. She honestly
wasn’t sure Willa knew how to feel embarrassment. “Um, so, I may have, possibly, been
lookingintoschools.”

It took a moment for the rushed words to decipher themselves, but when they did, Tori let out
a gasp. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah,” Willa said with a small shrug. “I, uh, kind of realized what I want to do when I grow
up.”

“Oh?” Georgie asked. He twisted as much as he could in the booth to better take in Willa,
though Tori thought he would have been better off just pulling up a chair.

Willa nodded, but didn’t elaborate. Instead, she picked up a sugar packet from the dispenser
and pushed it around on the table with a finger, decidedly not looking at either of them. Tori
was confused about it until Aspen ( Holy chiz, when did she get here? ) sighed and said,
“Wills, she’s not going to be upset.”

That got a frown out of Tori, but Aspen just rolled her eyes and nodded toward Willa,
followed by an exasperated shake of her head. Willa finally let out a loud, slow breath and
said, “I’m thinking about counseling. Trauma counseling.”

The words had barely registered before Tori felt the tears bubbling up. Truthfully, they were
never too far from the surface. Most days, especially since the Fourth, she had enough control
that she didn’t break down sobbing at every little thing, but it still happened more frequently
than Tori really wanted it to. She had sobbed at the spaghetti scene from Lady and the Tramp
two days previous. After confirming that Tori wasn’t having a panic attack, Jade proceeded to
tease her mercilessly about it.

Dimly, she heard Willa’s frustrated exclamation, “See? I told you.”

A warm presence immediately pressed against Tori in the booth, one she leaned into, even as
her chest started aching from the sobs. God, she was a mess. An arm snaked around her
shoulders, followed by a hand rubbing her arm over the long-sleeved T-shirt she was wearing.
Aspen’s voice, soft and gentle, said, “She’s not upset. Are you, Tor?”

She shook her head quickly against Aspen’s shoulder. Tori tried to speak, to reassure Willa,
but all that came out was another choked out sob. Aspen squeezed her shoulder. “These are
happy tears, right?”

Tori’s breath hitched as she nodded, which was all she trusted herself to do at that moment.
She felt like she was on the verge of hyperventilating, but Aspen resumed her comforting
rubbing of her arms. The motion helped to ground Tori, paired with the gentle reassurances to
both her and Willa that everything was okay.

It took a few minutes, during which Georgie had excused himself to deal with a customer
after a reassuring pat on Tori’s hand, but she finally managed to get herself back under
control. She dabbed at her eyes with a napkin from a dispenser against the window, thankful
that she still wasn’t to the point of wearing makeup. Tori could only imagine the mess that
would be on her shirt if she was wearing even what she had before…everything.

After a last shaky breath, Tori reached across the table and grabbed Willa’s hands, giving her
a sincere, but still very watery, smile. “You are going to be awesome at it.”

Willa grinned slightly and squeezed Tori’s hands. Suddenly, her normal bravado was back as
she said, “Yeah, I am. I mean, look at the work I’ve done with Jade. It’s taken years of
effort…”

Aspen sighed. “We’ve known her two months.”

Willa dismissed her with a hand wave. “But she’s finally blossoming into her own woman.
Strong. Unafraid to speak her mind. Bold.”

Tori let out a small snort. “Yeah, because she was so timid before.”

“I know,” Willa said with a solemn nod. “It was so sad.”

Aspen rolled her eyes and excused herself, returning to work. Tori packed up her homework,
knowing it was pointless to even try to finish at that point. Her mind was just too jumbled.
She was also getting a little antsy, so Willa took pity on her and suggested they enjoy the
sunshine. After grabbing refills to go, Willa drove them ( It's fine. I'm fine. Deep breath. No
reason to freak out. Willa is at least a better driver than Trina. ) over to a nearby park and led
the way toward a picnic shelter. They just sat there at first, with Willa providing a
commentary of the various things she had dragged Aspen into at the park when they had been
Tori’s age.

Tori tried a couple of times during lulls to start the conversation that she wanted to have, but
didn’t know quite where to start. She knew that Jade had talked a little about her with Willa,
but just wasn’t sure what had and hadn’t been brought up. Tori knew that Jade wouldn’t have
outed her without checking first. For as much as she struggled with her own identity, Tori had
no doubt that was a line Jade would not cross. Even at her gankiest, that wasn’t who Jade
was.

“So, I got the distinct impression that you had a non-math problem to talk about before we
got distracted.”

Tori let out a slow breath and slid her eyes toward Willa, who was casually leaning back on
her forearms on the top of the picnic table they were sitting on top of. She kept her gaze away
from Tori and out toward the bay across the way from the park, giving Tori the chance to
either open up or back down. Part of her, a large part that found…well, everything a little
overwhelming now, wanted to do just that; retreat and not deal with the confusing swirl of
emotions that surrounded Jade in her heart.

“How, um, how much has Jade told you about…us, I guess?” Tori asked, trying to get a feel
for how much Willa already knew.

Willa straightened and wiggled her hand. “Mostly just the crap you all have gotten into at
school. Like Yerba.”

Tori repressed a shiver. “Let’s…not talk about that.”

“Fair enough,” Willa said with a grin. She sat up and looked around quickly. “Never know if
Yerbanian agents are lurking behind the playground equipment.”

“Don’t even joke about that.”

Willa laughed and then nudged Tori with her shoulder. “As for the personal stuff, I know a
bit, but not everything.”

Okay. She was just vague enough that it hinted Jade had opened up, whether willingly or not,
and that Willa had kept her confidence. Tori could work with that. Hesitantly, pushing past
the voice in the back of her mind that tried telling her that opening up was only going to end
up with her hurt even more, Tori began talking about her and Jade.

Their relationship had always been a difficult one to explain, even before the…thing. From
day one, Tori had felt like she was stuck on a roller coaster thanks to the other girl. She never
knew, day to day, if she was going to get the Jade that melted at the sight of bunnies or if it
was the Jade that took joy in making that one random dude she kept pulling into her Slap
videos pee himself.

( Who is that guy, anyway?)

Multiple times, after some over the top act of bullying, Tori had decided she was done. That
she wanted off the ride. But then Jade would seemingly realize she had gone too far and do
something to make up for it. She often wondered if Beck had been the one to get Jade to see
that she actually had hurt Tori and to apologize. In Jade’s way of apologizing, anyway. It
usually involved a mocha (with an extra shot of chocolate syrup) thrust wordlessly into her
hands the next morning.

Jade brought one each morning for a whole week after that mess with Steamboat Suzy .

So, yeah. Jade West had always been a frustrating enigma. A puzzle that Tori could never
find all the pieces to, so it was, at best, three-quarters finished. She used to love puzzles. It
was the thrill of figuring out something from the many different parts that were laid out
before her. Now, puzzles just made her head hurt.

In fairness, everything made Tori’s head hurt since the…thing.

Her friends had never really been able to help solve the Jade puzzle, either. It took most of
her first semester at Hollywood Arts before Tori realized that was because Jade kept a canyon
between herself and others. Even Beck and Cat, both of whom were closer to her than anyone
else. They, like Tori, had pieces, but not enough to finish the puzzle.

That seemed to change, though, after the… that night. When the world was too loud, when
everything threatened to overwhelm her, Jade was an oasis. It was, honestly, the closest Tori
felt to anyone else, ever. Jade somehow just seemed to know that she needed quiet. To just
exist, with the minimum of engagement. Tori had believed she had ruined it by running away
to Astoria. She didn’t think they would ever be able to reach that level of understanding
again. That’s if she ever returned to Hollywood Arts.

But then.

But then Jade showed up in a random coffee shop when Tori was at her lowest. Even
surrounded by her mom and Trina, she felt lost. Adrift. Nothing mattered. Not returning to
Hollywood Arts, not a potential music career. Not seeing her friends. Nothing. She had given
up. These were thoughts she wouldn’t express at the time, even if she could have, because
Tori understood what they sounded like.

It was a dark time.

Jade was sunshine breaking through storm clouds. A beacon to start finding her way home.
Tori wasn’t religious (no one in her family really was), but maybe, just maybe, some higher
power was watching out for her. Cindy had suggested as such, but Tori blew it off. If there
was a God, he definitely hadn’t been looking out for her the night of…well. Yeah.

And yet, Jade had somehow made her way to Astoria. To Tori, when she needed someone the
most. That had to be a sign of something.

Willa listened dutifully, only interrupting here and there for clarification on something
Hollywood Arts-related, since, yeah, their school was weird. By the time she finished, Tori
knew she had missed Jade’s break and was dangerously close to ending up without a ride
home. She pulled out her phone and…yep. She had a few texts.

Jade (1:05 p.m.)

Hey, Aspen told me you and Willa went off somewhere. You ok?

Jade (1:10 p.m.)

I’m going to assume by the lack of response you’re just not paying attention to your phone
and it’s nothing worse.

Jade (1:15 p.m.)

Tori.

Jade (1:17 p.m.)

Tori.

Jade (1:20 p.m.)

TORI.

Jade (1:22 p.m.)

Don’t make me have Holly turn on the creepy stalker function on these things.

Tori rolled her eyes at that and shot back, I’m fine. Mom. Just needed a break. We’re at that
park down the road.

That got the intended reaction, because, after a few moments, Jade responded with, TORI. We
agreed never to bring up the mom thing. EVER. AGAIN.

Then stop acting like it. Tori may have jabbed the keyboard on her PearPhone a little harsher
than intended in her answer. We'll be back in a bit.

That seemed to placate Jade, because she responded with, You better, or I upgrade Trina from
my least favorite Vega.

“What did that poor phone ever do to you?” Willa asked, the grin plain in her voice without
Tori having to look up from her phone.

Tori let out a frustrated groan. “Jade freaked out a little because I didn’t respond right away.”

Willa hummed slightly and again turned her attention out toward the bay. “I get it.”

“Get what?” Tori asked, frowning at her profile. Idly, she thought, I really like that undercut.

“Her response,” Willa said. “If what happened to you happened to Asp, I would absolutely
not be chill if she went completely incommunicado.”
Tori just glared at the side of her head in response, though it lacked a lot of heat. In the
immediate aftermath of…it, Tori didn’t really spare much thought about how those around
her were affected. Mostly because it was hard to really think beyond the constant pain, but
also, yeah, she was depressed.

Even as she came out of the fog thanks to the anti-depressants, she hadn’t really faced how
much those she cared about had suffered. It had just been Tori and her mom for so long by
the time Trina showed up after graduation, that she had no reference for how anyone else was
handling it. The realization that the answer was ‘not well’ hadn’t set in until Jade had blown
up at her just a few days after reconnecting.

Sighing, she went back to her text thread with Jade and sent, I’m sorry for being snippy. And
for making you freak out.

The dots indicating a response started and stopped a couple of times before Jade finally
responded with, I did *not* freak out. And you better be. You’re making it up to me.

(1:27 p.m.)

Fine. We can do a scissor party tonight.

Jade (1:28 p.m.)

TORI.

(1:28 p.m.)

What?

Jade (1:29 p.m.)

Re-read that last text.

Her face flamed red as she flicked her eyes up and frantically started typing. GAH! Stupid
autocorrect. Scissor-ING party.

A long pause followed before the dots came back. That’s not any better.

Tori huffed in frustration. Okay, you are well aware of what I mean.

Jade (1:33 p.m.)

Am I, though? You *are* gay and I’m hot. So…

Her eyes widened at that. Willa, who had been patiently quiet during their whole texting
exchange, tilted her head in curiosity. Tori just wordlessly passed her phone over, not even
thinking twice about letting Willa see the thread. She read for a moment before bursting out
laughing. “Oh, God. You two are the best entertainment. I don’t even need Cinema Net.”
“Shut up,” Tori said with a whine. “I didn’t mean… that . Jade loves The Scissoring , so I
was just offering to let her watch it, since she hasn’t all summer.”

Willa closed her eyes and was plainly fighting back even more laughter. “Girl loves a movie
called The Scissoring and didn’t realize she was queer. I mean, come on.”

“It’s a horror movie.”

“Sure it is.”

“It is!”

“Do you like scissoring, Tori?”

“Will you stop talking about scissoring?” she burst out loudly. Loud enough that a few
mothers sitting on park benches by the playground snapped their heads around, staring in
disapproval. Tori was certain her face could lead Santa’s sleigh at that moment. “We need to
leave. Now.”

Willa chuckled, but hopped down off the picnic table. “All right, all right. Wouldn’t want to
make you late for your scissoring party with Jade.”

“Wills.” Tori hated how her voice got even whinier. She also didn’t expect the hug from
Willa that nearly knocked her over. “What…?”

“You called me ‘Wills’,” she said, complete with incredibly fake sniffling. “That means we’re
practically sisters now.”

Tori awkwardly patted Willa’s back. “I’m not sure that’s how that works.”

“Sure it is,” Willa said. “It’s legally binding. And much more sanitary than exchanging blood.
You’re stuck with me now. Forever.”

“Yay?”

“You need a big sister in your life,” Willa said, looping her arm through Tori’s and started
walking toward the parking lot. “One that can help guide you through your burgeoning
lesbianism with sage advice.”

Tori narrowed her eyes. “Aren’t you straight?”

“Details,” Willa said with an airy wave. “I have, however, dated. A lot. And I’m a chick, so I
have valuable insight into how we think.”

A grin, genuine, was threatening to spread on Tori’s lips, though she was stubbornly holding
it back. “You know I already have a big sister.”

Willa stopped them beside her Mustang and turned Tori so that they were face to face. With a
serious expression on her face, Willa said, “Tori, I need you to close your eyes. Imagine, if
you will, going to Tina…”
“Trina.”

“I don’t care,” Willa continued without pause. “Going to her with that text exchange between
you and Jade. Of trying to talk to her about scissoring with Jade…”

“Oh, God. It’s a movie!”

“I have the internet and a healthy curiosity,” Willa said. “I am well there’s a lot of movies
about scissoring. Pro tip, avoid the Co-Ed Insanity stuff. The guys behind it are skeezy as
fuck.”

Tori shifted uncomfortably and turned her head. “That, um, that’s not really an issue right
now.”

Willa frowned. “What? Looking up porn?”

Tori shook her head and said softly, “Wanting to.”

She heard the sharp intake of breath and then arms were again wrapped around her shoulders,
pulling her into a hug. “Oh, Tor. I’m so sorry.”

“For what?” Tori said, trying to fight back the tears that were threatening to fall. “It’s my
messed up head. I just don’t…I haven’t felt…I’m…not pretty.”

“Oh, honey,” Willa said, squeezing her tightly. “That’s absolutely not true. You are unfairly
gorgeous.”

Tori snorted, though it was also half a sniff. “Right. Giant scar on my face, another one on my
head, plus there’s the one from the surgery on my chest. I’ve lost so much weight I don’t have
boobs anymore, my hair…”

The sobs interrupted her train of thought. Tori buried her face into Willa’s shoulders, trying to
hide her breakdown. She had talked with Cindy a bit about how insecure she was about her
looks. It was why her wardrobe was huge on her now; a defense mechanism is what Cindy
had called it. A way to hide her perceived insecurities.

Dimly, she was aware of Willa stroking her back, which was helping to ground her a bit.
Even beyond not feeling attractive, Tori just hadn’t felt any urges like that , since the…thing
that happened. The closest was when she had kissed Jade in Georgie’s office, for as messed
up as that whole situation was. It wasn’t full-on arousal, but butterflies did erupt in her
stomach, which was something. Cindy assured her that her lack of interest wasn’t unheard of
for someone dealing with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Which Tori plainly was.

Finally, Tori calmed down, hating herself for breaking down for the second time in as many
hours. One day, Tori swore she was going to get her emotions back under control and not cry
(crying, always crying). Willa pulled back slightly and gave her a searching look, to which
Tori nodded once to say she was okay.

Silently, they piled into the Mustang and made their way back to Georgie’s, where Jade was
waiting out front. Tori assumed she looked like she had been crying, because Jade shot a
nasty glare at Willa, who just rolled her eyes and whispered something to Jade that caused
her to relax. Wordlessly, she opened the passenger door of the SUV for Tori, before hopping
up behind the wheel. The drive home was completely silent, though Jade did reach over to
lace their fingers together.

The rest of the week after that passed in a haze of packing up the beach house and finishing
her trig homework. A weight that Tori didn’t realize was there lifted as she slammed her book
shut for the final time. Holly was so happy for Tori that she made Family Pot Pie for the three
of them to share, the significance of which had to be explained to Jade. Tori turned her head
to give Jade some privacy as she wiped a couple of tears that leaked out away and, once
again, silently cursed Jade’s shitty parents.

For the final run of the play, Thaddeus had only booked them for Saturday night and a
Sunday matinee. Apparently, it was tradition, though Willa did cough out something that
sounded a little like “liar” when he made a speech on the Thursday before those last shows.
Even Jade laughed at that, considering she looked about a second away from needing legal
representation.

Saturday’s show went smoothly; not at all surprising, since they were three weeks into the
actual run of the play and the cast had been rehearsing together since the end of May. Tori
had been satisfied to be a small part of it, especially because everyone had been so nice when
Jade announced she was going to be Willa’s understudy. Thaddeus had plainly recognized
her, though Jade thought it was because of Sikowitz more than because of the awards. Or
the…well, yeah.

Sunday, then, should have been nothing. It was the last show, and a matinee at that, so the
crowd was expected to be just a few friends and family. Maybe one or two of the A.H.A.
patrons who came to nearly every performance. That’s what Georgie and Kellis had told her
and, looking out from behind the curtain, it looked to be about right. She did see her mom
sitting a few rows back from the front and waved to her.

“Where the fuck is Willa?” Jade’s voice carried above the noise from the actors and crew
getting ready for curtain.

“I don’t know. Have you tried to call her?”

Tori turned and saw Jade stomping toward Kellis, fierce look on her face. Tori blanched and
hurried over to intercept. “Easy, Jade.”

“Don’t tell me to take it easy,” Jade snapped, blue eyes (so very blue) flashing toward her.
“We’re an hour from curtain and one of our fucking leads isn’t here, much less in costume.”

Kellis pulled off his (admittedly ridiculous looking) hat. “Maybe she overslept. We were out
late last night.”

Jade’s head turned slowly to glare at him. Tori reached out and placed a hand on her left
bicep, giving it a slight squeeze. “Before you end up needing to replace both leads, why don’t
you just call her?”
“Fine,” Jade said with an angry huff.

As she stomped off, Tori turned to Kellis and whispered, “Maybe you should…”

“Yeah, probably,” he said, pivoting on his heels and making his way further backstage and
out of Jade’s sight.

Tori looked back at Jade, noting the tenseness of her shoulders suddenly leaving. Frowning,
she made her way across the stage, catching just the last few words of the conversation. “...to
call Aspen? Because you shouldn’t be alone, dumbass. Okay, good. Yeah, just…yeah.”

Jade turned suddenly, her eyes meeting Tori’s and she could immediately tell something
wasn’t right. Worry was plain on her face, from the frown to the sadness in her eyes. “Yeah,
she’s right here.”

Tori frowned and took the offered phone. She received no indication from Jade of what was
going on, just a quick squeeze of her forearm and a whispered, “Be right back. Need to grab
Georgie.”

A sniffle from the PearPhone drew Tori’s attention. “Willa?”

“Hey, Tor.” Her heart squeezed painfully because, yeah, something wasn’t right. “I’m, um,
not going to make it today. Um…my dad, he, uh, had a heart attack this morning.”

Tori’s blood went cold. Death, always close (close, too close). She took a deep, ragged
breath, her mind going to that night. Or, at least, what she imagined that night was. Truth be
told, she didn’t remember a whole lot of it; just the awards and a little bit after, though not
being at Karaoke Dokie. Anything she ‘remembered’ about the…thing were images from her
nightmares, which she knew were less than reliable.

Unless it really had been Andre driving her home that night, like the dream she’d had over
the weekend had shown her.

Willa continued, oblivious to Tori’s rising panic. “It was, um, about as minor as something
like this could be. I guess. Fuck, it was all doctor speak, so I didn’t understand half of it.”

Tori focused on her breathing, trying to force the anxiety back. Come on, Vega. Wills doesn’t
need you breaking down on her right now .

After a few moments, Tori felt she was back in control enough to ask, “He’s going to be okay,
though?”

A sniffle. “They think so. He’s in surgery now. We’re in Portland, though. I’m so, so sorry I
didn’t give you more notice.”

“I mean, it’s not like you don’t have a lot on your mind, Wills,” Tori said. She was hugging
herself with her free arm and pacing a little. “Can I do anything?”

“Just crush it out there today.”

“Crush it? What…?” Tori’s confusion cleared up quickly as she saw Jade and Georgie
coming toward her, a dress in the latter’s hands. “Oh. Oh, no. I-I can’t…”

“Tori,” Willa’s voice cut in stronger than it had been to that point. “You got this. You know
the lines better than I do, for fuck’s sake.”

A muted voice came over the phone and Willa sighed heavily. “Hey, I’ve got to go. They
need me for some paperwork. Break a leg.”

Tori muttered a quick goodbye and let the phone drop from her ear. She felt the shock rolling
over her and was just staring blankly at the door that led to the stairs down to the theater
floor. Okay, this was happening. She could do this. Maybe. Could she do this?

A tiny voice in her head said, Of course you can’t. Remember what happened the last time
you tried to perform? You can’t even sing in the shower. You can’t be a lead in a play.

“I can’t do this,” Tori muttered out loud. Jade was standing in front of her suddenly, eyes
concerned and a frown on her face. She was vaguely aware of Georgie measuring her
shoulders with tape behind her.

“You don’t have a lot of choice, here, Tori,” Jade said. “Show must go on and all that shit.”

“Language,” Tori said unconsciously. She snapped her head up, mind clearing from being
stunned a little. “Jade. I…I can’t do this. What if…what if…” She sighed and sagged a little,
and just said one word softly. “Karaoke.”

To her credit, Jade got it immediately. “Hey, this is nothing like that, okay? No singing’s
involved and you’ve pulled off much worse roles than this. Walter . You can do this.”

“Arms out, honey,” Georgie murmured. Tori lifted without thinking, but still couldn’t get her
mind to stop. Jade’s attention was drawn to her phone, the breaking glass of her text
notifications sounding horribly loud in the backstage area.

“But…the dress is a bit…and…and my scar…”

Jade didn’t even look up from her phone as she retorted, “Oh, no. With this scratch on my
cheek, I’ll never get asked out for a soda pop.”

Immediately, both girls froze, eyes seeking out the other. Jade was the first to shake off her
shock, hesitantly saying, “Tor…”

A choked sob escaped from Tori’s throat and she surged forward, cutting off whatever Jade
was about to say with a crushing hug. A surge of warmth spread over Tori at hearing that
once-hated voice. It had been a long time, really, since it bugged her. She still reacted as
expected, though, because, well, it was just what she and Jade did. It was their thing .
Truthfully, Jade didn’t even use it as much as she used to. Tori couldn’t really remember the
last time she heard it.

An awkward pat on Tori’s back made her laugh, feeling lighter than she had in a long time.
Jade never had been good at people.
“Tori, honey, are you okay?” Georgie’s voice cut in gently from behind.

Tori nodded against Jade’s neck and was a little embarrassed at the fact that she couldn’t get
the tears to stop. “I…I don’t talk like that.”

“Of course you don’t?” She could hear the confusion in his voice and let out a small chuckle.

“It’s an inside joke,” Jade said. Tori snorted a little at that. Yes, it was now , but it sure didn’t
start that way. Which, when she thought about it, Sweet Sally Peaches was a good metaphor
for their relationship.

Tori let go of Jade and took off her glasses to wipe at her eyes. She took a few deep breaths to
get herself under control (again). “You really think I can do this?”

Jade rolled her eyes, but Tori caught the small smile. “I mean, you’re not my first choice…”

“Ah, Miss Vega.” They all turned to find Thaddeus striding up to them. His jacket was an
obnoxious blue suede and he was wearing a purple bow tie that had Tori fighting an eye roll.
She didn’t have the pure hatred for the director that Jade did, but the man’s fashion sense was
atrocious. “Jadelyn tells me you will be our Roxane this afternoon.”

“For fuck’s sake, that’s not…” Jade cut herself off and stomped away a few paces. Tori was
actually pretty impressed at the restraint that the other girl showed. She turned and caught
Thaddeus’ mischievous grin underneath the handlebar mustache and he gave her a wink
when he noticed her.

“I understand this is under less than ideal circumstances,” Thaddeus said. “But Erwin has
spoken very highly of your skills as an actress. I have no doubt you will do the role and Miss
McEnroe justice.”

Tori felt her cheeks flame red and muttered a thank you before Thaddeus exclaimed that he
must check in with the sound booth. That caught Jade’s attention, who stalked off after him.
Georgie let out a sigh and said, “This is the sixth production I’ve done with him and I have
yet to figure Thad out. Are you ready to get fitted into costume?”

The next half-hour flew by in a bit of a haze as Georgie, Jade, and an older woman named
Betty worked to get Tori ready by curtain. The whole time, her anxiety was spiking, though
this time it felt a little different. It wasn’t the overwhelming panic Tori felt when she tried to
sing at Rex’s. No, this was more the pre-show jitters she always associated with a
performance. She was ready.

Maybe.

Potentially.

She wasn’t ready.

Tori was standing just off stage, waiting for her cue to make her first appearance and the ants
were crawling over her skin. What was she thinking? She couldn’t do this. All that was going
to happen was that she would see the people and freeze up. Tori didn’t want to ruin all the
 hard work everyone involved had put into the production over the last few months. They had
all treated her so well, welcomed her readily. She was just going to…

A hand slid into hers. Warm and, more importantly, grounding her, pulling Tori out of her
head. A glance to her right found Jade, decidedly not looking at her, but a small smile on her
full lips (full, so full). Tori took a few deep breaths, working to get her panic back under
control. It took a couple of minutes; thankfully, they were only in the first scene and Tori
didn’t make an appearance until the second. Even then, she had no lines.

Okay. I’m good. I’ve got this. Chiz, this wig is itchy.

Jade gave her hand a brief squeeze and whispered, “You okay?”

Tori nodded. “Yeah. Thanks.”

“No prob,” Jade said. She let go of Tori’s and the contact was immediately missed. “I’ve got
to go make sure Kellis is ready. Georgie had to try a new adhesive for his nose.”

Tori nodded and closed her eyes, trying her best to focus on slipping into character as
Roxane. It was a little harder, since she hadn’t really been playing the part, just learning the
lines with Willa. A stagehand called out markers for Tori and James, who was playing the
Comte de Guiche. She took a deep breath and felt a presence to her left, which felt weird,
since James was supposed to be on her right. Suddenly, lips were on her cheek. Tori’s eyes
snapped open and she turned her head, finding Jade right there , a sly grin on her face.
Butterflies erupted in Tori’s stomach and a burst of something that she hadn’t felt in a long
time washed over her.

Her face flamed red and Jade chuckled softly before leaning in and whispering, “Make it
fucking shine, Vega.”

The smile that erupted on Tori's face was huge. Jade pressed her lips to Tori’s cheek one last
time, then shot a glare at James, who had materialized out of nowhere. He merely smiled and
offered his arm for Tori to loop hers through.

Tori took a deep breath and stepped out on stage and into the spotlight. As they made their
way across the stage to their ‘box,’ Tori felt an exhilaration come over her. It was a bit
foreign, since she hadn’t felt anything like it since that night. She couldn’t keep the grin off
her face, even as she was supposed to be somewhat somber in character.

Finally, Tori Vega felt alive again.

Chapter End Notes

So.
Here we are, at the end of a journey that began well over a year ago. I would like to
thank all of you who have read...

I'm...I'm sorry. Someone's on the...hold up.

What do you mean, 'there's more?' Oh, yeah. *That*. That it isn't...but...okay, fine.

*Sigh*

The things I put up with in my own head.

Coming soon: ghost sTORi...

With a sly grin, Andre grabbed Cat’s arms and said, “Hey, Lil’ Red. Let’s not suffocate
Tori on her big night. Her dad may never forgive me.”

“Oops,” Cat said with a laugh. She danced back a few paces and then gasped. “We
should do a duet with Jade! Would that be a triet? Ha ha. Try it. That's what she said.”

Tori shook her head immediately. “Not tonight, Cat. Everything is just starting to catch
up to me. I’m going to head out, I think.”

Cat pouted. “Aw. That’s no fun.”

“Sorry, Cat,” Tori said with a grimace. No one liked making Cat sad. “I’m just…I’m
starting to feel dead on my feet.”

“No worries, Chica,” Andre said, wrapping her in a hug (for the thousandth time). “You
want a ride? Beck or Jade can probably get you hooked up.”

Tori flicked her gaze over to the table, where the duo in question had their heads bent
together and were talking intently. Something that wasn’t jealousy (nope, not jealousy at
all) bubbled up in her gut and Tori found herself shaking her head. “No, you all stay and
have fun. I’ll just order a SuperRide.”

“If you’re sure,” Andre said searchingly.

“Absolutely.” She leaned in to hug Cat goodbye and then waved vaguely at the others at
the table as she moved past. She felt Jade’s eyes on her the entire walk across the
restaurant, and gave her a bright smile just before she exited. The night was pleasant; it
wasn’t too cold, considering it was still early March, and the rush of traffic nearby was
somewhat soothing. The app on Tori’s phone beeped that her driver was five minutes
away, giving her enough time to close her eyes and savor.

Because, holy crap. The night, from Jade’s friendship confession to performing on
international television to hanging with her friends afterward, was as close to perfect as
Tori could imagine. Like, if her life ended tomorrow, at least she had this night.

She heard the crunch of wheels pulling up to the curb next to Karaoke Dokie. A silver
four-door was waiting, which matched what her SuperRide app said to expect. The front
passenger window rolled down and a slightly accented voice called out, “Tori Vega?”

“That’s me,” she answered happily and hopped in the back seat. “Thanks for the ride.”

“My pleasure,” her driver, Anwar according to the app, said. “How’s your night been?”

Tori couldn’t help the smile that blossomed, even for as tired as she was feeling.
“Amazing. Like, dude, I can’t begin to explain how awesome tonight was.”

Anwar laughed. “I must admit, I’m a little jealous. Mine has been fairly boring.”

A rare, one-on-one text from Jade distracted Tori from continuing the conversation, not
that Anwar seemed to mind. 'You left suddenly. You Ok? Not that I care. Cat just won’t
shut up about it.'

'I’m fine,' Tori responded with an eye roll and a grin. 'Just exhausted. U have to be, too.'

The three dots appeared and disappeared a couple of times before Jade finally responded
with, 'Maybe. I guess I’ll see you Monday? Or whatever.'

Tori chuckled fondly. Bless her, Jade really was trying. 'Absolutely. Tell the gang bye for
me.'

She didn’t get a response, not that she expected one. Jade wasn’t ever really one to keep
a text conversation going if she didn’t have to. Tori settled back into the seat and shut
her eyes, not really intending to sleep in a stranger’s car, but definitely feeling the events
of the night catching up to her. The drone in the background from whatever Anwar was
listening to helped to lull her into a light doze. Thankfully, her driver was content to just
leave her be and didn’t try to engage beyond their initial discussion.

That’s why Anwar’s loud exclamation followed by the squealing of tires was so jarring.
Tori jerked up in the seat and turned her head just in time to see bright headlights.
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