UNLOVED

a bay falls high novel

JAXSON KIDMAN
 Contents

Welcome to
UNLoved
prologue
one
two
three
four
five
six
seven
eight
nine
ten
eleven
twelve
thirteen
fourteen
fifteen
sixteen
seventeen
eighteen
nineteen
twenty
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More from Jaxson
 Welcome to

Slowly, I lifted my middle finger. With my other hand, I gently kissed my fingers and blew them a
kiss.
One by one, they each smiled at me.
I turned so they wouldn’t see my cheeks burning red, again.
I was pretty sure I was in over my head.
And once I got too far, there was no coming back from it all.

Written by Jaxson Kidman

 UNLoved

I was the dirty, poor girl …

… now I don’t have a care in the world.

The ‘new girl’ vibe is wearing off, finally.

I’m settling into BFH and what I have over ‘the Rulz’ is going to make them look stupid.
I agree on a date with each of them.
One by one.
Barr first.
Then Kip.
Finally, Pres.
I’m setting them up in a way I never thought possible…

… until I end up getting too close.

It’s never ‘just a kiss’ with one of them. Or for me.

I feel my heart racing, shaking, wondering what to do next.
I need to end everything. And in a hurry.

Everything I know and have in my life is fake.

And if that goes away, I’m right back where I started.

With nothing.
Except for a broken heart.
 prologue

(all your fault…)

i can smell the air

i can smell the gas
now nobody gets what they want
so now they can kiss my ass

T hey’d probably think I was running, right? Well, not running. The only thing my feet - well,
foot - did was press the gas pedal and watch what could happen. Somewhere in my head
there had been an idea of a place or two to go. Just to actually get away.
So, fine, they were right. For about a split second.
Because maybe even though everyone was okay with their secrets being spilled, they were so
quick to assume. Not exactly judge, but assume. Which was crazy in itself. I could deal with secrets.
And rumors. And little stories that grew legs and ran through the halls of BFH faster than those
messing around and hearing the second bell, knowing they were going to get into trouble if they didn’t
get to class on time.
That was the easy stuff.
The typical stuff.
But that wasn’t it for BFH.
It never was.
And when you’re living fake… living a different life… not even a lie because you’d become used
to it…
Maybe for a second I forgot that I was balancing on a chair with three broken legs.
Think about it. And if you can’t, then oh fucking well to you.
It’s like when Mom would try to hide her problem from me. When we were living in the
apartment that Claire owned. She would always come home super late from work. And most of the
babysitters would just leave. They figured Mom wasn’t showing up and they weren’t going to get
paid. Not that I could blame some teenage girl wanting to get away from me to go spend the night with
her boyfriend. Funny how I never understood why that sounded so fun… until now. Or when Mom
would leave money, the babysitter would time out the hourly wage and then bolt. So I was used to
being alone and waiting for Mom. And she’d come home and tell me she had to take her medicine.
It was all one giant coverup.
It took me a little while to figure out what that was and what it meant.
I actually thought Mom was a doctor… or at least a nurse… because of the stuff she had in the
bathroom. The way she knew how to administer the… medicine…
It made me laugh.
I laughed through the pain as the echoing sound of the SUV kissing the tree replayed over and over
and over in my head. Like this constant whirring in my brain. It made everything really dizzy one
second, then super clear the next. And on the super clear moments, when I put my head back, I looked
through the open, crooked, crunched sunroof and could see the stars shining through the trees.
It made me laugh even more.
Mom told me you could travel to the stars then through the stars and find new galaxies and meet
new friends and hear new music and… and… and…
All lies.
All bullshit.
Just like everything else.
Including where I was…
Waiting for the faint cry of a siren.
To come save me.
Or maybe nobody would show up at all…
 one

“NI putever?”
my head back and let the sun brush against my face. Which was really the only thing I had
going for me at the moment.
Because now I was apparently a fucking science project to Gi and Iris.
All because of something that wasn’t exactly a secret but I guess to them it was. And I guess it
was big enough news to the Rulz that they wanted to have fun and bet on who would get me first.
The get something from me that was already gone.
“Never, what?” I asked Gi with enough attitude that it warranted a head nod from Iris.
“I mean, it was just with Devin?” Gi asked. “Never anyone else?”
“Why does that matter?” I asked. “It’s not like you need to screw ten guys to actually lose your…
whatever.”
“You had us all fooled,” Iris said.
“Fooled? How?”
“You never… I mean, you always…”
I pulled my sunglasses down the bridge of my nose. “Exactly. I don’t brag. I don’t need to brag
about what I’ve done. Or who I’ve been with.”
“One guy,” Gi reminded me.
“Just for that,” I said.
“Oh, dirty,” Iris said. “Well, we know you’ve been swapping spit with the Rulz like crazy.”
“Like crazy?” I asked. “Please. It was one kiss. For each. And now I know what it all was for.
Why they suddenly had a change of heart for the dirty, poor girl.”
“They want your dirty, poor innocence,” Iris said.
I laughed. “Innocence. What innocence? I haven’t had anything that resembled that since I was a
kid.”
I looked between Gi and Iris.
They knew better than to challenge me there.
Their lives were nothing but pampered moments laced with drama that made it seem oh-so-
fucking-bad when in reality it was never bad.
For me…
I shook my head.
I lifted my toes out of the water and stared at them.
They were the nicest I had ever seen my toes. I had only ever painted my toes myself. So to go to
some fancy place and have someone take care of my feet, that was new. And it was actually kind of
fun. Sitting in a big, comfy chair without a care in the world.
Other than the hottest and baddest three guys in BFH were throwing money at each other
because they wanted to have me.
I still hadn’t figured out all of that yet.
But I would.
I would dig into them, lead them on, and find a way to hurt them.
At the very least, I would use them the way they wanted to use me.
So now the name of the game was to fake it, lie, adapt, and see where this entire thing ended up.
As long as I kept the truth to myself, I would be fine. And not the truth of whether I was untouched or
not. The truth that I didn’t belong in BFH. And I wasn’t going to be in BFH for forever. This was all
temporary. For the sake of Mom. And if the Rulz wanted to mess with me, I was going to mess back.
Because I’d eventually be gone and they would move on to someone else.
“So what are you going to do?” Gi asked.
“I don’t know,” I said. “Beth wasn’t lying. She could have not told me. You know?”
“Don’t even try it,” Iris said. She stood up and walked away from the pool leaving wet footprints.
“That fucking bitch always has an agenda.” Iris looked back. “Even with this.”
“Yeah, but what’s the purpose of telling me then?” I asked. “It’s kind of stupid. I mean, everyone
could think what they want about me. Including them. I’m the one who knows the truth. Well, me and
you two.”
“And Devin,” Gi said.
“Shit,” I whispered. “I bet that’s how it happened.”
“What?” Gi asked.
“Devin,” I said. “That fucking moron.”
“Why?” Iris asked.
“When we broke up, he told everyone I refused to do anything. Call it backward or whatever, but
where I’m from, you’re looked down on for being a prude. Like if you’ve hooked up with a bunch of
guys…”
“It’s cool,” Gi said. “Being a whore is a rite of passage.”
“There’s a tattoo for you,” Iris said with a laugh.
“Better suited for you,” Gi said to Iris with a wink.
Iris showed both her middle fingers and gave a fake laugh.
“The point is,” I said, “Devin spread it around that I wasn’t willing to do anything with him.
Which wasn’t true. We were together and broken up like three or four times… and each time we got
back together…”
“Oh, you got back together,” Gi said slowly lifting her arms dancing to no music.
“Right,” I said. “So something must have spilled from there to here. I don’t get how though.”
“Don’t underestimate the Rulz,” Gi said. “I mean it. You never know what they’re up to. What
they know. How they know it. Or what they’ll do.”
“Makes me wonder if I should just tell them,” I said. “Honestly. At first, I was so pissed… so
fucking pissed. But I knew something was up, right? I knew there had to be a reason for what they
were doing. I found the reason. Why not just expose it. Laugh in their face?”
“I don’t know, Ti,” Gi said.
“Screw that,” Iris said. She hurried back to the pool and towered over me. She blocked the sun
and looked down at me. “I will drown you in this pool if you do that.”
 “Oh? Love me that much?”
“You tell them that… or laugh at them over it… they’ll destroy you. I’m saying that as a friend.
Okay?”
“Iris is right,” Gi said. “I mean, if you wanted to tell them, you probably can. But not in a bitchy
way.”
I swallowed hard.
I guess I forgot about their power for a second there.
My memory reminded me of what Barr did. Just for a kiss. Or the fact that they always seemed to
appear at the worst possible times.
“You should just ride it out,” Iris said. “And I’m saying that as a bitch who doesn’t care if you get
hurt.”
“Ride it out,” Gi said. She laughed. “I’m sure there will be a lot of riding…”
“I’m not riding anything or anyone,” I said. “Ever.”
“Never ever, girl?”
I gasped and turned.
Speaking of worst possible times…
The Rulz were here.

“Y“Didn’t
ou don’t knock, huh?” I asked.
need to, sugar,” Pres said. “Just walking the beach.”
“Three guys walking the beach?” I asked. “Holding hands?”
Gi and Iris giggled.
Barr lit a cigarette and looked at Gi.
She quickly went quiet. Her face turned red.
“Something you want to say?” he asked her.
She shook her head.
“Are you sure? You were easy to laugh there.”
“It was a joke,” I said.
“No, it’s okay,” Barr said as he stepped toward Gi.
She stiffened. She reached for the railing of the pool and pulled herself up. She hurried to get
away and grabbed her towel. She wrapped it around herself, like she did the last time they were here.
I just gently splashed my feet in the water.
It was nice to feel like I had some kind of power at the moment.
Barr closed in on Gi.
He took a drag of his cigarette and exhaled the smoke in her face.
Then he turned and grinned at me. “How are you today, love?”
“Was having a great day,” I said. “Then you three showed up.”
“To make it greater-er,” Kip said.
“That’s not a word,” Iris said.
“I just fucking invented it,” Kip said. “Do you have a problem with that?”
Iris curled her lip. “Nope.”
“Good,” Kip said. He looked at me. “Mind if I cuddle up next to you, girl?”
 “You’re wearing…”
Kip stepped right into the water. Socks and shoes. All the way up to where his shorts ended. He
plopped down next to me and gently elbowed me.
The smell of Barr’s smoke hung in the air and flirted with my nose.
That was only matched by the smell of Pres’s cologne as he moved closer to me.
I put my hand flat to the warm pavement and tilted my head back to look up at him. He was so
gorgeous it wasn’t fair. At all. They all were gorgeous. In their own way too. But I knew who they
really were. Everything I heard about them was true. And I knew what they were doing to me. Or
wanted to do to me. Or whatever.
But I had the power… the power of the truth. Of a truth they couldn’t get away from or change.
“Can I help you?” I asked Pres.
“Oh, I’m sure you can, sugar,” Pres said. “Just wanted to check up on you. Make sure you weren’t
running back to that shithole you once called home.”
“Nope,” I said. “I’m right here. My new home.”
“Good,” Kip said. “Thought we were going to need a new set of wheels after driving through that
other town. Smelled like shit.”
“Looked like it too,” Pres said. “Plus, your old BFFs don’t like you anymore. You’re too rich for
them now.”
He slowly smirked.
I curled my lip. “Anything else you want to say?”
“Also needed to make sure you were home for tonight, love,” Barr said.
I sat up straight and looked at Barr.
“Damn,” Pres said. “There goes my view.”
I swallowed even harder than before and tried to casually cover my chest. Which was impossible
to do casually or at all since I was in a two piece bathing suit.
“Dinner tonight,” Barr said.
“Us?” I asked.
“I’m going to cook you a gourmet dinner, love,” Barr said. “Then I’m going to treat you to
dessert… well, you’re the dessert…”
My cheeks turned red.
“Not if I can help it, girl,” Kip whispered at me.
He brushed his lips to my shoulders.
I shivered everywhere.
Before I could say a word, Pres crouched behind me. His knees gently touched my sides, putting
me sort of between his legs.
Right in front of everyone.
My eyes moved to Iris and she was blushing too.
She was blushing and they weren’t even touching or talking to her.
Pres pressed his lips to my other shoulder. “We need you here, sugar. Right where you belong.”
I sucked in a breath. “Are you cooking me dinner too?”
Pres laughed.
“I’m not cooking a thing, love,” Barr said. “I’m just messing with you. Another fancy business
dinner.”
“Oh,” I said. “With your parents. And Claire.”
I thought about asking about Pres’s father but I didn’t want to start that again. I still couldn’t
believe that Claire was sleeping with Pres’s father (who was married, by the way).
“We weren’t invited,” Kip said.
“Too bad for you,” I said.
“Not at all,” Pres said. “That’s the other reason we’re here. There’s a little gathering down on the
beach later. Once the sun goes down. Everyone who is here right now will be there.”
I looked at Gi. She looked ready to just turn and bolt.
“Fine by me,” I said. “As long as I don’t have to hear about real estate deals.”
“The only real estate you need to worry about is the beach right behind us, girl,” Kip said.
He stood up and walked out of the pool with heavy, splashing steps as the water bounced from his
socks and shoes. When he walked his feet made a slush type sound.
“Do I need to even say what would happen if you all aren't there?” Pres asked, looking right at
Iris. Then Gi. Then back to Iris.
And as though they were obedient students dealing with a dickhead teacher, Gi and Iris shook
their heads.
“We’ll be there,” Iris said.
“Yeah,” Gi said. “We will.”
“Let’s hope so, giggles,” Barr said to Gi.
He took one more drag of his cigarette and dropped it on the concrete.
Of course he didn’t step on the cigarette.
“See you tonight, sugar,” Pres said to me.
“I’ll be here early, love,” Barr said.
Pres, Barr, and Kip all walked away, disappearing down to the beach. The only thing left behind
of them was Kip’s wet footprints. But those faded quick.
Oh.
And Barr’s lit cigarette.
Just resting on the concrete, smoke curling into the air.
“That was fun,” Iris said.
“That was terrifying,” Gi said.
“I guess you both will be at the beach thing tonight then?” I asked.
They didn’t answer.
They didn’t need to.
I knew they would be there.
They had no choice.
Gi motioned toward the door and Iris was quick to run toward it.
They were done with the pool.
They were done outside for now.
Not that I could blame them.
I was left alone, watching Barr’s cigarette on the ground.
I slowly moved toward it and crouched and reached for it.
As I picked up the cigarette, I curled my lip.
It was gross.
Yet somehow it tasted good on his lips.
I leaned forward a little and shut my eyes and took a deep breath to smell the nasty smoke. But
that nasty smell was the smell of Barr. And it did something to me.
I licked my lips, thinking about his kiss.
Thinking about all their kisses.
When I opened my eyes, I caught myself almost tempted to take a drag of the cigarette.
“No,” I whispered. “Fuck no.”
I stood up and carried the cigarette to a glass of freshly made lemonade and dropped it into it.
It sizzled and died a quick death.
I wiped my hands on a towel and shook my head.
I wasn’t going to be theirs… not anymore.
They were going to be mine.
 two

I was going to meet Gi and Iris down on the beach.

I showered, grabbed a change of clothes, and actually spent more than thirty seconds putting
myself together. This was unheard of. Me… brushing my hair. Fighting with my hair. Peeling my
cheeks down to look at my eyes. Wondering if I was getting enough sleep. Or if I was getting bags
under my eyes. Like any of that actually mattered.
But here… it did.
If I was going to be BFH fake, I needed to do it the right way.
Then again, what did that even matter?
The Rulz didn’t care about my hair, my eyes, or my smile. They cared about one thing. And that
was the fake thing. Hell, I could stop washing my hair for two weeks, wear a baggie hoodie with
mustard stains on it, and not brush my teeth for days, and they would still be placing their stupid bets
on getting me.
I shut the bathroom light off and since I was thinking about a hoodie, I went and got my favorite
one to wear tonight. I put it right over my tank top and it was like a blanket. It smelled like sleep
because I had slept in it for the last two nights. The sleeves were extra-long and the edges were
ripped from wear and tear. And it was so long that it covered my shorts.
I walked down the super-giant staircase as though I were a princess in a pink gown. Throwing my
arms out, putting my head back, taking each step gracefully, laughing as I did so because it was all
bullshit. The dirty poor girl coming to town to ruin the rich boys. Take that for a fairy tale.
My fingertips touched the smooth railing and I pretended someone was waiting for me at the
bottom of the steps. My prince charming. The handsome man ready to whisk me away into a life of
luxury and ease.
“Do you like my dress?” I asked in a horrible English accent.
“I’ve seen better, love,” a voice said.
I let out a yelp and missed the third to bottom step.
And as graceful as I would have been as a real princess, my ass hit the steps and I slid the rest of
the way down.
“Oh, shit, love,” Barr said as he rushed to my aid.
I was on my ass, my legs open, hoodie pulled up, revealing that I was actually wearing shorts.
Which was a good thing. A great thing. Because Barr would have had a full view.
“I guess I missed a step,” I said.
“I guess so,” Barr said.
 “Are you going to help me?”
“I prefer you on your ass right now, love,” he said with a cocky grin.
“Oh my! Barrington! What happened?”
My cheeks burned red as I heard the squeal of Barr’s mother’s voice.
“She fell down the steps,” Barr said. He dropped to one knee and grabbed my hand. “I was just
checking on her.”
“Fucking asshole,” I whispered.
“It’s okay,” Barr said. He put his other hand to the back of my head. “Just don’t move for a
second. Okay?”
“Are you okay, Tinsley?” Cathy squealed at me.
Right behind her walked Sylvester.
He touched Cathy’s shoulders and she wiggled him away.
“Falling for my son?” Sylvester asked as a joke.
I gave a weak laugh, not sure how to answer that.
“I’m fine,” I announced. “Just missed a step. That’s all.”
“Shall I get some ice?” Cathy asked. “I’ll get someone to bring ice. Or maybe we should call a
doctor…”
“Why don’t you go back into the kitchen?” Barr asked. “Let me help her up. See how she does
walking.”
“What happened?” Claire’s voice asked as she now entered the scene.
I shut my eyes.
“Tinsley?” Claire asked.
She rushed toward me as Cathy and Sylvester went back into the kitchen.
“I fell,” I said to Claire. “I hit my ass and here I am.”
“I’ll take care of her,” Barr said. "I think the hoodie weighed her down.”
Claire laughed. “What are you doing wearing that thing?”
“It’s comfortable,” I said. “We’re going down to the beach anyway. I don’t need to be fancy.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Claire asked.
“Trust me, I’m okay,” I said.
I shook away Barr’s hand from my head. He helped me to my feet and I pulled my hand away in a
hurry.
“Tinsley, look at me,” Claire said.
I looked at her.
She was studying my eyes.
I crossed my eyes for a few seconds.
“Yeah, just checking,” Claire said.
“I’m not drunk or high,” I said. “I literally fell.”
“Literally,” Barr said.
“I hate you,” I said to him.
“You two figure out what you’re doing and then disappear,” Claire said. “Take your angst
somewhere else. I’m trying to close a deal here.”
Barr looked right at me and grinned.
I could hear his voice… I’m trying to close a deal here too…
“I’ll be back,” I said.
I turned and Barr’s hand touched my arm. “Careful. No steps.”
 “Fucking funny,” I whispered.
I ripped my arm away and walked to the bathroom to actually make sure I was okay.
Other than embarrassed I was fine.
I adjusted my old hoodie and just wanted to get to the beach. At least there I had some space. And
the ocean. And Gi and Iris. Not that they were much help around Pres, Barr, and Kip. They were
deathly afraid of them.
When I left the bathroom, Barr was missing.
I looked up and thanked whatever I could think of.
Then I heard the dun of a piano key.
Gritting my teeth, I walked into the piano room and Barr folded his arms.
“Now that you’ve fallen for me, let’s just seal the deal and be done with it,” he said.
“Oh… wow… that kind of talk… I’m so hot right now…”
Barr pushed from the piano. “Right here on the piano. Make our own music. Or maybe right on the
beach. You tell me.”
“Don’t you have a song to play?” I asked. “So you can make Mommy and Daddy proud? Show
them what a good little boy you are?”
Barr cracked all of his knuckles and curled his lip. His honey gold eyes tore through me.
“I’d rather do something else with my fingers tonight, love,” he said.
He walked up to me and when I stepped back, I hit the wall, missing the opening to get out of the
room.
Barr was right there, his body against mine.
He took a deep breath in and when he exhaled, he groaned.
“I better walk you down to the beach… just in case you fall and get hurt.”
“Why? Are you going to be there to catch me?”
“If I catch you, love, I’m never letting you go.”
Barr closed in on me, his smoky lips gently brushing against my lips.
My eyes shut as my toes curled against my flip-flops.
And then he was gone.
I reached up and wiped my lips.
I almost wished I had fallen down the stairs and knocked myself out.

I walked down to the beach party and found Gi and Iris already enjoying themselves. A drink in
their hands, they stood right behind the same two guys from other parties who were strumming
guitars. That must have been their thing. To sit around a fire, playing songs, hoping to find someone
willing to fall for that pretend hippie crap.
And judging by the way Gi was already swaying her hips, it was working.
“Where are your bodyguards?” Gi asked with a giggle.
“Oh, look,” I said to Iris, “giggles is back.”
“Gina,” Iris whispered with a wink.
I laughed at the notion of Gi’s alter ego when she drank too much.
But at least she was fun about it all.
“Barr was just in my house,” I said.
 “Bet over?” Gi asked, lunging at me.
I lunged at her. “Not even close.”
“Too bad,” Iris said. “You should just pick one and let it happen. See what the fallout is. Oh, and
then tell them you knew about the bet and that you weren’t a-”
“Shut up, Iris,” Gi said.
I saw the way their eyes changed.
I turned my head and the first thing I thought of… my dream.
The one where Pres, Barr, and Kip turned my ice cream into gold, gave me perfume, and then
turned into vampires.
That’s what it reminded me of.
The entire beach came to a stop.
For a second I literally thought the waves were going to stop too.
But everyone turned their heads to watch the Rulz.
One of the guitar players stopped right away. The other guy kept strumming until the first reached
across and put his hand over the guitar.
“They like to make an entrance, huh?” I asked.
“Yes, they do,” Iris said.
Pres, Barr, and Kip all walked down from the spot where I had come from Claire’s house. Pres
was dressed all in black, thick with muscle, looking viciously good. And Barr strutted like he knew
every secret about the world, sucking on his cigarette, the beach breeze playing with his forever
messy hair. And then Kip… bare foot, light tan board shorts, and his forever needed sleeveless shirt.
His long arms pouring from the no sleeves with toned muscle. And it all matched his perfectly cut jaw
and the cocky grin on his face when he looked my way.
Of course when Kip looked at me, everyone else did too.
Heat raged through my body.
I wasn’t sure what anyone else knew. Truth or not.
“They are all locked on you, Ti,” Gi said.
“Shut up,” I said. “I don’t really care.” I turned and faced Gi and Iris again. “Just start talking to
me.”
“About what?” Gi asked.
“Anything.”
“So you’ve only been with one guy?” Iris asked.
“New subject,” I said. I looked at the guitar players. “Hey. You. Guitar dude.”
The guy turned his head. “Me?”
“No. The other twenty-five guitarists on the beach. Start strumming.”
“No way,” he said.
“I said to.”
“I’ll wait until they’re here,” he said.
“I said to fucking play the guitar,” I growled.
“You can sit down and wait your turn to bark orders,” he said.
“Want me to go get my screwdriver?” I asked.
“What’s the problem, sugar?” Pres asked.
Of course they came right to me. Just to make things even more obvious.
I shook off the annoyance. “Nothing. Just wanted to hear a song.”
“Play for her,” Pres said to the guitarist.
 “No problem,” he said.
He strummed one chord and Barr jumped forward and kicked the guitar so hard, his foot broke the
wood. He was then standing on the guitar, fighting to get his foot out. The guitar player fell back to the
beach, a shocked look on his face.
Barr then grabbed the broken guitar and tossed it into the fire.
“That’ll work,” Barr said.
“Holy shit,” Iris said.
My head whipped around to her. “They do this before?”
“No,” she whispered.
“You better play your heart out,” Barr said to the other guitarist.
“I can go get another guitar,” the first one said. “Not a big deal.”
“What do you think, Pres?” Barr asked.
“Fair enough,” Pres said. “Go get a guitar. Keep everyone happy.”
The guitarist stood up and Kip grabbed him by the shirt. “If Tinsley ever asks you to play her a
song… what are you going to do?”
“Play her a fucking song,” the guitarist said.
“Now that’s music to my ears,” Kip said.
He winked and let the guy go.
The rest of the party was in silence.
Pres looked around. “Give me a bottle of something. Now.”
Five hands shot out at him.
Pres grabbed a bottle and stepped up on a log. Not that he needed the height to be taller or more
powerful.
“You were invited to be here,” he said. “But I really don’t give a shit that you’re here. Enjoy
yourself. Just make sure you always… follow… the Rulz.”
Pres took a drink, stepped down and smashed the bottle off the log.
Everyone broke out into a cheer and just like that the party was back to what it was before they
arrived.
My eyes scanned the beach and I saw the guitar player walking with his arm around some girl.
They were talking, smiling, looking back, making hand gestures that mimicked what Barr had done to
his guitar.
But what the hell did that guy care?
He probably had two hundred guitars. And he probably could afford another two hundred and not
blink twice.
“Let’s go down to the water,” I said.
When I turned my head, expecting to see Gi and Iris, they were gone.
It was Kip. With his knees bent so he was eye level with me.
“Sure thing, girl,” he said.
I sidestepped and crashed into a waiting Barr.
“You want to get wet tonight, love?”
“The only thing you’ve done is make me dry,” I said.
“I saved your ass when you fell down the stairs,” Barr said.
“She fell down the stairs?” Pres asked.
“Three steps.”
“Boom, boom, boom,” Barr said. “Her pretty, little ass is probably all bruised up.”
 “Want me to kiss it and make it better?” Kip offered.
I laughed. “Actually, yeah. You all can totally kiss my ass.”
Kip made a playful move at me and I ran.
He chased me through the sand, smiling.
My mind almost forgot everything that was happening. Or was supposed to happen. Or would
happen.
I had no traction in the sand. My small and stubby feet were like weights hitting the sand. Yet
Kip’s giant surfer feet glided over the sand and he caught up to me in no time.
The dry sand became wet sand and I went right into the water.
I scooped up a handful of water and threw it at him.
Kip screamed. “No! Not water! I can’t get water on my skin!”
“What?” I asked.
Stupid me for falling for that for a split second.
Kip ran at me, wrapping his arms around me and ran into the chilly ocean.
I screamed and laughed, feeling the water creeping up my legs.
“Cellphone rule!” I cried out.
“Fuck your cellphone, girl,” Kip said.
I growled. “I’m the dirty poor girl. I don’t have the same luxuries as you.”
Kip stopped. A wave rippled along the back of my legs.
“Fuck that,” Kip said. “Your new Mommy will get you a new one.”
“Don’t say that,” I said. “Claire is not my mother.”
“I bet you want her to be. No way you want to leave this place. Admit it.”
“I’m still here, right?”
“Because we told you to stay,” he said.
Our faces were super close. I could somehow see the blue of his eyes even in the darkness. And
my body lined up to his body in a very certain way…
“I stayed because I wanted to,” I whispered.
“You’re here for me, girl. You can admit it. It’s just us.”
“Nothing to admit,” I said.
“You say that now.”
“I’ll say it forever.”
Kip stepped forward into the water.
“Don’t,” I said.
“Tell me you want me.”
“No.”
He stepped again.
“Kip…”
“I love the sound of my name on your lips,” he said. “Just tell me you want me.”
“No,” I said again.
Kip took another step.
I opened my mouth to tell him I wanted him when a wave smacked against my back.
It was so cold I froze up and tried to gasp but had no breath.
“I’ll take that as you wanting me, girl,” Kip said.
He turned and hurried back toward the shore.
When he let me go, but kept my hand, and I ended up spinning like we were dancing.
 Back to the princess crap, huh?
Kip let me go and I stumbled back.
He put his hand to his mouth and blew me a kiss.
I hurried to turn and get out of there before my mind and heart and other parts simply exploded.
I made it two steps before someone bumped into me.
It was some guy trying to snag a ball out of the air.
“Oh, fuck, are you okay?” he asked, eyes wide.
He was holding my arm.
“You barely touched me,” I said to him.
“Shit. Still. Sorry about that. Are you sure…”
I saw movement from the corner of my eye.
It was Pres.
With a fist.
Aimed for the guy who bumped into me.

I jumped back as Kip got out of the water.

“You okay?” he asked me.
“I’m fine. The dude bumped into me.”
Pres swung his foot and kicked the guy while he was down.
The guy started to thrash his arms and legs.
“Fuck you, Pres,” the guy yelled.
“Oh, shit,” Kip said.
I stepped forward and Kip grabbed my wrist. “Don’t.”
Barr joined the fun and kicked the guy in the ribs too.
“How’s that feel, Malcolm?” Barr yelled.
Pres stomped down on the guy - Malcolm’s - stomach.
Malcolm rolled into the sand, face down, but they weren’t done yet.
Barr pulled Malcolm to his feet and shoved him back.
Malcolm put his hands out. “Fine. Whatever. I didn’t do anything.”
“You ran right into her,” Pres yelled. “Look where the fuck you’re going.”
“It’s dark,” Malcolm said. “I was trying to catch a fucking ball.”
“Talking back, Pres,” Kip called out.
I elbowed Kip. “Seriously? The dude didn’t do anything wrong.”
Barr and Pres went after Malcolm again.
Pummeling him down into the sand with their fists and then using their feet to finish the job.
Kip touched my jaw and made me look at him. “He did something wrong. He touched something
that wasn’t his. Mistake or not, girl. It doesn’t matter with us. Now you stay put here, I’ll be right
back. I have to go join the fun.”
When Kip moved, I grabbed his arm. “I want you.”
“What?”
“I want you,” I said. “Stay here with me. I want you.”
I was doing anything to stop him. And to protect Malcolm. Who was someone I didn’t know at all.
 Kip winked. “Knew I’d get you to say it.”
He pulled away, much stronger than me.
He got away and pushed between Pres and Barr.
“Oh, let me have my turn, fucker,” Kip said.
He let out a loud cheer and started to stomp on Malcolm too.
It was pure violence.
That was the only word that came to mind.
Violence.
Because of me.
Because some guy casually bumped into me by accident. And not only that, Malcolm stopped and
asked if I was okay. And apologized. Totally harmless. But not to them.
They were the Rulz.
The beating lasted only a handful more seconds before as fast as it started it stopped.
Pres walked to me and stood tall over me.
“Don’t even ask if I’m okay,” I said to him.
Pres took my chin between his fingers like he always did. “I wasn’t going to.”
“I need a drink,” I said. “Am I allowed to do that or are you going to punch the person who gives
me the drink?”
With a grin, Pres said, “That’s why I’ll get you your drink, sugar. You just relax. And enjoy the
rest of the night. As you can tell, you have nothing to worry about tonight. Or ever.”
Pres winked and went back to the beatdown.
I had nothing to worry about?
No.
Pres was wrong again.
I had everything to worry about.
 three

I was never good at math. And I was never good at magic. Trust me on both. The point of math
was, well, pointless because everyone had a calculator on their phone or their phone itself could
be used to look up anything. As far as magic went, there was a brief moment when I wanted to be
a magician. So I saved up for a magic kit, got it, and tried out the tricks on Mom. She called out every
secret of each trick and told me to find a new career.
But tonight… math and magic…
Somehow.
Someway.
I turned one little drink from a plastic cup… into… a lot.
A lot, a lot.
So much, so soon that what I had done at that other party (the one where Pres kissed me) looked
like nothing.
I was feeling it.
Really feeling it.
Only because the images of the Rulz attacking Malcolm played through my head. And I couldn’t
figure out why. Why it hit me the way it did. I had seen fights before. I watched as they beat up Denny
because Denny made a few passing jokes about being with me. I even watched Kip fight up at the
ditch. This was nothing new. This was nothing shocking.
But…
“Why don’t you let me take this?” Iris asked as she lifted the cup out of my hand.
“Hey,” I said. “That’s my drink, bitch.”
“Yeah, it is,” Iris said. She tossed the cup away. “Now it’s gone.”
“Hey, fuck you,” I said.
“You’re getting too far along here, Ti,” Iris said.
“What the fuck do you care? You love it like this, right? You want to see me like this.”
“Not like this,” Iris said. “Bad enough I’ve got Gi dancing around the fire like she’s never seen
fire before.”
I giggled and snorted.
I stepped back and missed a step, which seemed to be impossible to do, but this fake wannabe
princess was once again toppling down to her ass. Right down to the sand, falling to my back.
Distance was sort of my only friend.
Anytime one of the Rulz tried to come near me I casually found a way to slip away. Not that I
could actually stay away from them for long. They would always catch up. And if they really wanted
me for any reason, it would happen.
There was no escaping it.
But I tried.
Which went against my plan all the way.
I pointed to the sky and laughed.
“What are you doing?” Iris asked as she stood over me.
Making a quick move, I grabbed the inside of her left leg and squeezed. She let out a yell and tried
to kick at me, laughing, but I had her.
Her leg bent and she was falling down to the sand too.
Of all people, right?
Me and Iris just hanging out.
Me tickling her.
Of course the douchebag perv guys at the fire were watching, praying for that moment when Iris
and I would start to make out which would make all their stupid wet dreams come true.
Iris sat next to me, shaking her head. “You must be really wasted to want to be my friend like
this.”
“You saw what they did, right?” I asked.
“Of course,” she said.
“That was because of me. That guy… Malcolm… he got his ass kicked…”
“That guy is a loser,” Iris said.
“Loser or not, be real…”
“I am real,” Iris said. “Look, when you’re dealing with the Rulz you need to pay attention. This
isn’t a drink fest party. Or a find someone to hook-up with party. Or throw a ball around and jump in
the sand party.”
“Then what is it?” I asked.
“An excuse to have you near them,” Iris said. “Or just to see who would listen to them. Nobody
knows what they’re thinking. Or why they do what they do.”
“Oh I know why they’re doing what they’re doing,” I said.
Iris and I stared at each other.
She let out a sigh. “What were you pointing at in the sky?”
“You have to get next to me,” I said. “On your back.”
“We’re going to make all those guys hard,” Iris said.
“Good. Then they can go into the water and chill the fuck out.”
Iris laughed.
When she was next to me on the sand, I pointed up to the same spot. “Right there.”
“What?”
“Those stars.”
“Seriously? We’re watching stars together? Exactly who do you want to sleep with?”
“Actually… nobody. How’s that for an answer?”
“That’s bullshit, Ti,” Iris said.
“Just shut up. I thought it looked funny.” I waved my finger like I could draw and connect lines
between the stars. “It looks like…”
“Wow,” Iris said. “That’s where your mind is? You’re looking at that in the sky when you have
three of those that want you. Instead of drawing a line with your hand, you could touch the real thing.”
 “It was a joke, Iris,” I said as I hurried to sit up.
“It never is,” she said.
“Oh, look, I suddenly feel sober enough to tell you how much I don’t like you. You can never just
turn the stupid bitch meter down, can you?”
“It ran out of batteries two years ago and I never changed them.”
“I’d rather dance around a fire with Gi.”
“Only because you’re afraid of the truth.”
“Fuck you,” I said.
I tried to get to my feet gracefully but that wasn’t happening. Taking a ten minute breather from
drinking didn’t make the rest of the night go away.
Iris was able to stand up much quicker.
“Don’t play that fucking game with me,” she said.
“What game?”
“You know it’s going to come down to one of them,” she said. “There’s no other choice. You think
you’re going to lead them on and fuck with them? I don’t believe it for a second. I never did. You’re
not an attention whore but you like what’s happening here.”
I laughed. “Wrong again, Iris.”
“Why?”
I shook my head and backed away.
I waved a middle finger at her and turned to go back to Claire’s.
Fuck this fake party thing.
Iris wasn’t having it though.
She chased me right down and got in my face.
“Don’t walk away, Ti.”
“Too late.”
“Don’t be weak.”
“Weak? You and Gi freeze up when they’re around. Why’s that? Huh? What makes you so afraid
of them?”
Iris curled her lip. “Where’s the bitch who owned those assholes earlier?”
“You saw what they did,” I said. “I’ve been trying to get that out of my mind. And it’s not
working. So now I’m drunk and I still can’t stop picturing it. All because someone bumped into me.
They’re crazy. Fucking crazy.”
“So are you,” Iris said.
“Get out of my face,” I said.
I pushed Iris.
“Fight!” someone yelled.
Which was the last thing I needed.
Iris grinned and shoved at my shoulders.
I stumbled more than I should have.
“Bring it… bitch,” Iris said.
I grinned too.
Everyone wanted to see a fight.
I wasn’t going to fight her. She wasn’t going to fight me.
But since everything else was all forced and made up… why not this?
When I made my move to run after her, Kip appeared between us, his hands gently touching my
shoulders.
“Whoa, girl,” he said. “What the hell is this?”
I sidestepped and saw Pres and Barr standing on each side of Iris.
“We were just messing around,” I called out. “Having fun. It’s a fucking party.”
Iris stepped back to get away. The bitch went back to the fire, back to Gi, who grabbed her hands
and started making her dance.
“Fighting your own friends now, sugar?” Pres asked.
“Hardly a friend,” I said. “Were you going to beat her up too?”
Pres smirked. “Worried about Malcolm, huh?”
“I just don’t get it.”
“You don’t have to, girl,” Kip said. “Now… how about another drink?”
“Fine,” I said.
“I’ll get it for you, love,” Barr said. “Then maybe we can all go for a walk along the beach. Show
you some places that are secret around here.”
I laughed. “Sure thing. You know all the right things-”
One step forward and I felt like my ankle jumped out of the side of my foot.
Who the hell twists their ankle trying to walk in the sand?
Me.
So for the night I had fallen down the stairs at Claire’s. Fallen down into the sand. And now
twisted my ankle.
More than that, when I twisted my ankle, the pain that went through my entire leg was enough to
make me scream and claw for help. My left hand grabbed Kip’s right hand. My right hand grabbed for
Pres’s shirt.
“What the hell just happened?” Barr asked.
“Twisted my ankle,” I said.
“Broken?” he asked.
“I don’t know. I’m not a fucking doctor.”
Barr lunged forward. He put his hands to my hips and I sucked in a breath.
Heat flooded my entire body.
Surrounded by them… the Rulz…
All the drinks I had had were now playing deadly games with my mind and my heart.
“Here, lower her down to the sand,” Barr said.
He bent his knees and pulled at my hips.
His grip so tight. His grip so commanding. His grip so protective.
Kip and Pres held my arms as I slowly sat back down to the sand with my right leg sticking out.
“Hey, sorry, uh, mind if we talk now?”
I looked up and saw Brando and Maverick standing near Kip.
“Shit, what happened to her?” Maverick asked.
“I’m asking her to fucking marry me,” Barr said. “You’re ruining my moment?”
“Uh…,” Maverick’s eyes were wide.
“He’s fucking around,” Kip said. “What the fuck do you want?”
“You said to come find you,” Brando said.
“We did say that,” Pres said. “Fair enough.”
“I’m good here with her,” Barr said. “You know my take on the game. I don’t give a shit. Pick
somewhere everyone agrees on.”
 Pres crouched down and touched my chin. “I think you’re better off your feet tonight, sugar.”
“Very funny.”
“I wasn’t being funny.”
Pres leaned and brushed his lips to my cheek.
The smell of his cologne washed over me heavier than the ocean waves.
He stood up and stepped over me.
Kip looked down at me and blew me a kiss.
They walked away with Brando and Maverick.
Leaving me alone with Barr once again.
“I’m always saving your ass, aren’t I?” he asked me.
“I can walk home just fine,” I said. “In fact, I’m done with this party.”
“Yeah, me too,” he said. “Let me help you home.”
“Not a chance,” I said.
Iris’s voice went through my head. Saying I had to choose one of them. Which was a lie. There
was no choosing at all. This wasn’t a game for me. For them, it was. They wanted to get something
from me that wasn’t there. Something they couldn’t see, touch, taste, and something no amount of
money could buy.
“Let’s see this, love,” Barr said.
He stood up and lit a cigarette.
I was screwed.
My head swirled and the beach was wavy thanks to the drinks. And now my right ankle was a
little messed up. But I had to do it. I have to prove to myself and to Barr that I could walk my ass
home and end this night.
In repeat fashion I climbed to my feet again.
I stood there, hiding the fact that I wasn’t putting any weight on my right ankle yet. I knew I was
swaying. I hated myself for drinking what I did. All because of them.
“See?” I asked. “I’m better than perfect.”
I turned and put weight on my right ankle.
“Nope,” I whispered as I put my right hand out as though there was some magical wall waiting for
me.
There was no wall.
Just the open beach.
Which meant I was going to fall into the sand again.
Except…
Barr caught me.
The smell of his smoke wrapping tightly around me. His hands with a firm grip as he swung me
off my feet, cradling me in his arms.
I looked at his honey gold eyes.
He had caught me.
And his warning from earlier played in my head.
If he caught me… he wasn’t going to let me go.
“T“Ohhey’re still having drinks, love,” Barr whispered to me. “That’s how these deals go down.”
yeah?” I asked as Barr carried me along the side of Claire’s perfectly manicured shrubs and
long house.
“Yeah. You try to out drink the person,” Barr said. “Get them loosened up to agree to something.
There’s a loser in every deal. No matter what. Nothing is ever equal. There is no fair when it comes
to this stuff.”
For a second I wasn’t sure if Barr was talking about his parents or about me and the Rulz.
Which proved the point home even more.
They were powerful. All three. I was just some girl. The new girl. The dirty, poor girl. The girl
with the junkie for a mother.
“I think I can take it from here,” I said as Barr finally reached the front of the house.
Him carrying me was kind of nice. I put my arms around his neck just to make sure I didn’t fall out
of his arms. Not that it was possible. He was big, strong, with a tight hold on me.
“I’m taking you to bed, love,” he said.
He spoke so casual, knowing exactly what he had just said.
My cheeks turned red because I couldn’t help it.
Barr swung me around so I could punch in the code to open the front door.
I laughed.
I didn’t mean to laugh. But I laughed.
“What’s so funny?” he asked.
“This entire thing,” I said. “This is all fucking crazy, Barr.”
“Yeah, it’s one hell of a moment here, huh?” he asked.
“Something like that,” I said.
The front door was unlocked and Barr walked right to the grand staircase.
“I can make it up the steps,” I said.
“Maybe. Maybe not. Why chance it?”
“Why help me?” I asked.
“Why not?”
“Because you’re an asshole,” I said. “But now suddenly you’re not?”
“Oh, I still am, love. This is a cheap excuse to get me into your room. And you’re drunk.”
“So you think that means I’m suddenly easy?” I asked.
“You can be easy and I’ll be hard,” Barr said.
“Gross,” I whispered.
“Yet you’re the one blushing over it,” he said.
I shut my eyes.
Which was a bad idea.
The movement and bouncing from the steps instantly made me feel sick. I opened my eyes but felt
like my face was now green. My stomach was talking back, mad for everything I had to drink.
Last thing I needed was to get sick in front of Barr.
That would be a total disaster.
As Barr kept walking I realized something beneficial about being poor. If you were sick or drunk
or had a twisted ankle, getting to your bedroom didn’t take a fucking year to get there.
I laughed again.
“What’s funny again, love?” Barr asked.
 “Nothing. Just stupid thoughts.”
“Like what?”
“Me being poor. That’s what.”
Barr stopped walking. “You’re not poor anymore, Tinsley.”
Oh. Serious voice.
“Yes I am. This is all fake.”
“So what? Let it be fake. But you’re not poor. Don’t ever say that again.”
“Are you going to whisk me away, Barr? Give me all your money so I could live happily ever
after?”
Barr curled his lip. “I better get you to bed, love.”
We were silent the rest of the walk to my bedroom.
And even there, Barr had no care in the world as he opened the door and walked in like he owned
it.
Now, it was my bedroom.
My eyes looked to the clothes on the floor.
My panties.
And of course there was a bra hanging off the side of the messy bed.
Barr didn’t say a thing though.
He walked me right to the bed and lowered me down.
“Thanks,” I said.
“Are you going to get sick?”
“From being so close to you? Maybe.”
“Yeah? How close is too close?”
“You tell me.”
Ohgod, I’m flirting… drunk and flirting…
Barr put his lips to mine. But he didn’t kiss me.
“How’s this?” he asked, his lips dancing against mine.
I tasted him.
I hated it. But I loved it.
“Maybe,” I whispered.
“Then… maybe this…”
Barr kissed me.
Like full on kissed me.
Lips, tongue, a real kiss.
My hands grabbed at his arms, not sure if I wanted to push him away or invite him into my bed.
The make out session was short lived when he pulled back.
The sound of our kissing echoed around the bedroom.
He had his right hand on the nightstand and his left hand on the bed over me.
We just stared for a few seconds before Barr lowered me back down.
This is it… I could end this stupid bet thing right now.
“What’s the game about?” I asked.
Barr was just a few inches from me. “What?”
“Pres. Kip. They went to talk to Brando and Maverick.”
Barr grinned. “Right. The game.”
Barr stood up and folded his arms.
 “Well?”
“Just bullshit stuff, love,” he said.
“Like what?”
“A football game,” Barr said. “BFH against HCH.”
“HCH? That’s that other school?”
“Yeah.”
“Where Weslee Jackson goes to?”
“Yeah.”
“You guys beat up that one guy… well, he was already beat up…”
“Yeah,” Barr said for a third time.
He was getting annoyed.
“Why’s it such a big deal? The football game, I mean.”
“It just is,” Barr said. “They can fight each other. Or they can play each other. It’s for bragging
rights. It’s not during the season.”
“Bragging rights…”
“Yeah. They play without equipment. So the hits are hard. There’s no refs either. So you play dirty
and hope for the best. It’ll probably end up in a big fight. That’s what happens. Tension boils over…
and like I told you, love, someone loses. Always.”
“Why did Brando have to talk to you?” I asked.
“Because we fucking said so,” Barr said.
I opened my mouth but Barr turned and made the move I expected.
He hooked his finger under my bra on the bed and lifted it.
“First time you’ve seen one?” I asked.
Barr laughed. “You really want to talk about first times, love?”
I swallowed hard. “Goodnight, Barr.”
He dropped my bra to the bed.
He took out a cigarette and lit it.
Just to be an asshole.
“Night, love,” he said.
He walked out of the bedroom, shutting the door behind him.
Leaving me with the smell of his cigarette smoke.
Leaving my heart racing.
I shut my eyes and just wanted to sleep everything away.
Not the drinks.
Not the pain in my ankle.
Not the night.
But everything.
Part of me said to just tell the truth. Because whatever the Rulz knew about me, it was wrong. Yet,
if I did that, then what would happen? Would they just suddenly leave me alone forever and pretend
like I didn’t exist?
The answer was simple… no.
This entire thing wasn’t going to end calmly at all.
 four

I
away.
n some crazy twist of fate, my hangover didn’t linger more than one day and my ankle wasn’t
broken, sprained, or even hurt. It was like the night at the beach didn’t even exist. And just by
brushing my teeth and taking a shower, I washed Barr away. I washed Pres away. I washed Kip

And that was that.

I hung out at Gi’s house with Iris there too.
We went to the beach, walked to get insanely expensive frozen yogurt, then went back to Gi’s
house and did nothing but talk shit on everyone we didn’t like. My list was a little shorter than theirs,
but it was a crash course into how intense and fake BFH really was.
Maybe there weren’t many secrets floating around, but it was clear everyone hated each other.
And the crazy part was that it seemed to start with the parents. Old fights and bullshit that bled into
the kids that bled right into the hallways of Bay Falls High.
Another thing about being poor… we didn’t have time or care to worry about gossip and drama. If
there was a problem, we took care of it. And if that meant meeting at a park to settle things, we did it.
Or if it meant meeting right in the middle of the street and throwing punches, so be it.
But these people… these rich fuckers… they held grudges for years with the hopes of turning it
into some kind of money power play much later on in life. Or just use their own children to keep the
fight going.
That was really messed up.
It was actually a little bit of a relief to not see the Rulz for once.
To almost forget about them.
Almost.
Because as I drove back to Claire’s, my eyes kept looking to the mirrors, expecting to see them
following me.
But that didn’t happen either.
It was a normal day.
The kind of day that made me bite my lip and wonder if I could indeed live and survive in the
world of BFH. All I had to do was talk to Claire. Like a real conversation. Find out what was going
on with Mom since I hadn’t heard from her after Barr threatened to shut the rehab center down. I
could see what Claire’s intentions were, find out why she made comments about wanting to raise me
when I was a kid, and maybe make a plea to stay.
As Claire’s black gates and massive driveway appeared from the horizon, I saw something
familiar.
It was a car coming in my direction.
The same car I saw that one day when Claire was at the end of the driveway. When she gave me
her famous speech about adapting to my environment.
The same car.
The same guy behind the wheel.
And he did the same thing.
Slowing down as he passed me by, looking right at me.
He was maybe a middle aged man with black sunglasses, black hair, and messy scruff on his face.
And when I started to stare back, slowing down, he took off.
The car went around a bend and was gone.
For some reason it made my heart sink as though something was wrong.
A little bit of panic set in and I drove fast up the driveway to go check on Claire. Not that I could
imagine anything bad ever happening to her. She was filthy rich. There was always someone at the
house. And she worked in real estate. Worst thing that could happen to her was, what, not make a
deal?
Even still, I hurried through the house into the kitchen.
“Claire?” I called out.
“Right here!” she yelled back.
I found her in the piano room holding a martini glass.
“Claire? Are you okay?”
“Perfect,” she said. “I was just thinking about this piano. I got it at an auction. On a whim. I told
myself I was going to learn to play. Never did.”
“Okay,” I said, catching my breath. “There was someone leaving the driveway…”
“Good,” she said. “Leaving is good.”
“It is?”
“Do you know why I never learned piano?”
“No. Why?”
“Fear,” Claire said. She put the martini glass down on the top of the piano. “I mean, I can lie to
myself all I want. That I’m too busy. That I’m not talented. But it was fear. Something new. The
unknown. Now this thing sits here, wasting away. An entire room for something I have, but never truly
have.”
I licked my lips.
I needed water.
Or a drink.
Or to get out of this house and go back to Gi’s where that whole feeling of normal existed.
“I was worried for a second,” I admitted. “Seeing that same car. That guy in the car. He works for
you?”
“Nothing to worry about here,” Claire said. “This isn’t back home.”
“Oh, I know that.”
Claire swiped the martini glass off the piano and walked out of the room.
I eyed the piano and all it did was make me think of Barr.
I had to get out of the room.
And I went right up to bed.
I didn’t feel like having a decent day turn into shit because the sun was about to go down on BFH.
 And that was when all the things seemed to want to happen.

I opened my locker and there was a tan, cloth bandage half unrolled waiting for me.
“Asshole,” I whispered, knowing that was from Barr for my ankle.
I slammed the locker, shaking my head.
Beth came to her locker and for a second, she acted as though I wasn’t even there.
Screw that.
“Hey,” I said to her.
She nodded. “Hey.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“That’s a lie.”
“Probably.”
She opened her locker and I put my hand to it, shutting the door. “Talk.”
“Nothing to talk about.”
“Are you going to keep the eighth grade bullshit act up all day then?”
“Not sure yet,” Beth said.
I slid to block Beth’s locker. “Then I’ll just stand here and wait. And miss class. And get into
trouble.”
Beth’s eyes filled with tears.
She shook her head and backed up.
I reached for her but missed her by an inch before Vicky threw a shoulder at her, knocking her
forward into my arms.
Beth burst into tears.
“Oops,” Vicky said.
“Whore,” I said.
“At least I know how to have fun,” Vicky said.
“Yeah… with a pack of hotdogs,” I said.
“Don’t bother replying, Vicky,” Blair said. “That’s how those street scums act. Looking for a
fight. It’s really sad.”
The two bitches walked away as I held a crying Beth.
I put my head back against Beth’s locker and sighed.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m sorry. So sorry.”
“What are you sorry for?” I asked.
Beth looked at me, her chin quivering. “What are you going to do?”
“About what, Beth?”
“This entire thing. I thought I was telling you to protect you.”
“You’re talking about the Rulz?”
“Yes.”
“Don’t worry about them.”
“I don’t know why I told you,” Beth said.
I wasn’t sure what she wanted me to say. Feel sympathy for her? That wasn’t going to happen.
 “What else is wrong?” I asked.
“Denny,” she said.
“What about?”
“What the Rulz did to him…”
“I’m so sorry for that, Beth,” I said. “That’s been eating me up since it happened.”
“No, no, no, listen to me, Ti. They were right. They did good. I kind of want them to do it again.”
“Break his hand?”
“Break his other hand.”
“What happened?” I asked.
“He’s just a piece of shit,” Beth said.
“He hurt you. What did he do?”
“What all guys do.”
“He fucked someone else.”
“Big shock, right?”
“You thought you two were exclusive though.”
“Stupid me,” Beth said, her eyes welling up again.
“Shit. Come here.”
I hugged Beth again.
I saw Gi and Iris walking the hall. They both stopped and both lifted their eyebrows at me.
I mouthed fuck off to them.
Iris put her hands to her eyes and twisted them, pretending to cry.
Damn, she really didn’t like Beth at all.
That was a story I needed to get to the bottom of.
They kept walking, leaving me standing there with Beth.
“Let me walk you to the bathroom,” I said to Beth. “So you can get cleaned up.”
“We’re going to be late,” she said.
“Someone once used period cramps to get out of trouble,” I said with a grin.
“Works every time,” Beth said, her chin still quivering.
I took her to the bathroom and she stood over the sink, cleaning her face. I’m talking her bag on
the counter with full cleaning stuff out. Like she was scrubbing herself before bed.
“What did he actually do?” I asked her.
She finally calmed down. Her eyes reflected to my eyes. “Some rotten cunt from East. I think I
know who too. I’ll get my hands on her. Trust me. I will.”
“Good,” I said. “Or better yet… let him have her. It’s his loss. And if he goes near you again I’ll
stab him with a screwdriver.”
“Or maybe we can do something else,” Beth said.
She turned and offered a wicked grin.
“Like what?” I asked.
“I was thinking… remind Denny of the Rulz.”
“Excuse me?” I asked.
“Hear me out,” Beth said, eyes wide. “You go tell them that Denny did something again. They’ll
believe you. Then we sit back and wait and watch. They’ll destroy him. I heard that Malcolm bumped
into you at the beach and they damn near took him out for good. He told his parents he was jumped.
Did you know that? He told them he was over near East and things got tense. They have police
looking over there for clues. All because Malcolm knows better than to say a word about Barr, Pres,
or Kip.”
“Are you kidding me?” I asked.
“Not at all. That’s the power… of you.”
“Me?”
“You, Ti,” Beth said. “You’re not the puppet anymore to them. They are to you. You point and shit
happens…”
I looked away.
I didn’t want to believe that for a second.
But it was true.
The thing with Malcolm. Oh, and then before that… the guitar dude. Barr put his foot through the
guy’s guitar. Then they made him go get a new one. Because of me.
I shook my head. “No.”
“No? Fuck that, Ti. It’s a yes. You know it. That’s how I get him back.”
“Get him back? Come on, Beth…”
“What? I just told you what he did to me. You don’t even give a shit, do you?”
“Give a shit? Of course I give a shit. We can handle it together. Plus, if I do that and they get
Denny and he says I’m lying, then what?”
“They’ll beat him even harder,” Beth said.
“Or they find out I was lying.”
“And you tell them you were testing them,” she said. “You were testing their loyalty to you. Oh,
it’s perfect. They’d do anything for you right now. All because they want you.”
“Stop,” I said.
“Ti, listen to me.”
“I said stop!” I yelled.
My voice smashed against the walls.
Beth stepped back.
“This isn’t a fucking game for me, okay? Is that why you told me what you did? To use it? To use
me? I’m not some fucking hit woman or whatever. I’m not going to stand there and point at a person
and watch them get hurt. What happened to Malcolm was wrong. And it’s still bothering me.”
“So, that’s a no…”
“Screw you, Beth,” I said. “I can’t believe you just asked me that.”
I walked toward the door and ripped it open.
“I loved him,” she called out. “I’ve always loved him.”
I let the door shut but I didn’t turn around.
“Who?” I asked.
“Denny,” she said. “He was the one I really liked. And loved. I watched him flirt with so many
girls. And I heard of him fooling around with some. When he was flirting with you that day, I got
really jealous. But then he got beat up and he came to me for help. I thought we were finally going to
have our chance together. Yeah, maybe that was bad thinking, but oh well. He hurt me, Ti. And with
some trash from East? I’d rather him go down to HCH and fuck one of their whores.”
I swallowed hard. “I almost wish you never told me what you did, Beth. My entire world is
upside down again because of it. I thought I was going to have the power over them but I don’t. At
least not in the way I want.”
“Then set them up,” she said. “Use Denny and set them up. I have another idea but it involves you
and Denny in bed together. Nothing is going to happen…”
 “Goodbye, Beth,” I said.
I opened the door and left this time.
I turned left around the hall and was met with a wall of… them.
I let out a yell and covered my mouth.
“She okay?” Kip asked.
“Beth? Yeah. Denny slept with someone.”
“Did he come near you?” Pres asked, his lip curling.
“No. But she wanted me to tell you he did. So you’d beat him up.”
“That’s pretty devious, love,” Barr said.
“Maybe you should set your attention on Beth then,” I said. “She’s more your type.”
I tried to step around them but they moved with me.
Each one finding a subtle way to gently touch me.
“You’re all we see and want, girl,” Kip said. “Never doubt that for a second.”
“Oh, I don’t,” I said.
“And we don’t need an excuse to take out Denny again,” Pres said. “He’s a piece of shit. He
obviously didn’t learn his lesson from before.”
“When there wasn’t a lesson to be taught,” I said.
“Nobody touches what’s ours,” Barr said.
“And he’s upset you again, sugar,” Pres said.
He flexed his fists, making his knuckles crack.
“No,” I said. “I can’t stomach that anymore. No more violence.”
“That’s never going to happen, girl,” Kip said.
“Unless we find another outlet for our pent up frustrations,” Barr said.
I knew what he meant.
I squinted my eyes. “Go fucking smoke something then.”
“And me?” Pres asked.
“Go pick out a new cologne.” My head snapped over to Kip. “And go catch a wave.”
I turned and Kip had my arm, pulling me close to him.
“I’d rather catch you, girl,” he whispered.
“We all would,” Barr said.
“You tell pretty little Beth that if she has a problem and needs us, to come talk to us,” Pres said.
I looked at Pres.
Jealousy hit me and I didn’t like that at all.
Jealous thinking about any of them with someone else.
That wasn’t a good thing.
That was a very bad thing.
“What do you want?” I asked.
“Just checking up on you, love,” Barr said. “Like we always do.”
“And to let you know about the football game,” Kip said. “You’ll be there. You can stand with us.
Watch these jock assholes rip each other apart over nothing.”
“Bring your pom poms, girl,” Kip said.
“I can give you something to really cheer for, sugar,” Pres said.
I shook Kip away and backed away.
“Football game, huh?” I asked. “I’ll check with my friends and see what we’re doing.”
“Funny,” Barr said.
 “Is it?” I asked.
“Very funny,” Pres said.
“Hilarious,” Kip said.
“Maybe I’ll see you around,” I said.
“You will,” Pres said. “I’ll text you where to be.”
“I’ll figure it out myself,” I said.
“Come on, let’s go,” Barr said. “All this talk about kicking Denny’s ass again has me ready for a
fight.”
“Me too,” Kip said. “Should we break his other hand?”
“Definitely,” Pres said.
“Just stop it,” I said. “Don’t go near him. I’m not being part of any of this.”
“Far too late for that, girl,” Kip said.
“Just tell us what we want to hear, love,” Barr said.
I gritted my teeth.
I want you… I want all three of you… and I don’t know what that means…
Slowly, I lifted my middle finger. With my other hand, I gently kissed my fingers and blew them a
kiss.
One by one, they each smiled at me.
I turned so they wouldn’t see my cheeks burning red, again.
I was pretty sure I was in over my head.
And once I got too far, there was no coming back from it all.
 five

I wanted to get up early and go down to the beach just after the sun came up. I pictured it as quiet
and lonely. The waves just crashing to the shore. Nothing and nobody but me. All the ghosts that
hung around wouldn’t be there yet either. That part though was probably a lie. There weren’t
ghosts. Anything I would let creep into my mind would be that. My mind.
The spot where I fell on my ass after twisting my ankle.
The spot where Pres, Barr, and Kip insisted on having a party.
The spot in the water where Kip took me out, flirting with me, wanting a kiss, wanting more,
leaving my heart wanting to believe him even though I knew it was all part of a game or bet or
whatever.
And of course the spot where I first met Pres. When he was beating the crap out of some guy and I
thought he was going to drown him.
So I ended up waking up too early and standing at my window. That way I could look at the beach
from a distance. Which felt kind of stupid. But whatever.
There wasn’t anything exciting about it either. Unless I was right on the beach. Which was
somewhere I had always wanted to go. Or wanted to live. Those dumb kid thoughts. When life was so
bad at home, the greatest freedom was the beach. It was where the world ended to me. All this water,
deadly yet protective.
Now I had it.
Whether it was going to last another day, another week, or last a year, it was right there.
I threw on my favorite hoodie and went downstairs to grab a coffee and go to the beach. I wasn’t
sure if Claire would be awake at this hour or not. I’m sure for those with careers it was normal
waking and functioning hours. Even though I was an adult according to my age, I still appreciated the
notion that I had time to sleep. And even if I skipped a class here and there it really didn’t mean a
thing. First off, I was a transfer student to BFH. And it was obvious Claire had a hell of a hold over
Jacobson.
Which meant… I was rich. I had power.
I was fitting right in.
But my plan with the Rulz felt way off base.
I thought I had a step up on them but their violent streak proved me wrong.
Which explained my restless night of sleep and the real reason I was working my way to the
beach so early.
I needed a new plan.
 Or a better plan.
Or to make some changes to the current one.
As I shuffled my feet across the cool kitchen floor, I yawned.
The giant house felt so calm, as though it were sleeping itself.
The big fancy coffeemaker on the counter had fresh coffee in it. Everything in the kitchen was
bright, stainless steel, that aura of holy fucking shit I’m loaded with cash and you aren’t! which
seemed to be everywhere in this town.
I poured a cup of coffee and heard a gentle metallic clank from behind me.
“Pour me one, my Claire kiss,” a voice said.
My muscles stiffened and I slowly turned to see a man in black pants, a white shirt - unbuttoned -
looking down as he started to put a belt on. His hair was really messy and my jaw dropped when I
realized it must have been someone Claire had over for the night.
“Uh, I’m not Claire,” I said.
The man lifted his gaze and stepped back. “Jesus. You’re Tinsley. I’m sorry…”
If my jaw could drop more, it would.
Because who I was staring at was not just any man.
I was staring at Pres’s father.
My mind thought back to the night I first saw Claire with Will. And then the stuff Gi and Iris told
me about him. And then when I tried to use that information against Pres, he simply didn’t care. He
knew about his father’s habits and that was that.
“Do you want some coffee?” I asked, not sure what I was supposed to do or say in that moment.
“I’ll get it myself,” Will said with a smile that almost resembled Pres’s. “No need for you to do
that. And what are you doing up so early?”
“Thought I would catch a walk on the beach,” I said. “Before the day got crazy.”
“Now that’s smart thinking.”
I swallowed hard. The uncomfortable feeling in my stomach wasn’t going to go away anytime
soon.
So I nodded.
I smiled.
I had a lot of questions in my head. Wondering what kind of man could just freely cheat on his
wife like this. Or if Claire knew… she had to know. There was no way she could play stupid. Unless
maybe Pres’s parents were separated. Not together but still legally married? For money reasons?
Or…
I shook my head.
None of it really mattered.
Unless of course there was something I could use to break Pres down a little.
Ohgod, Tinsley, listen to yourself…
“You’re the new girl,” Will said.
“New girl?”
“Yeah. You just moved in with Claire.”
“Right. I guess I’m well known, huh?”
“You know my son, right?”
“Pres. Yes.”
“Pres,” Will said with a laugh. “Preston never liked his name. He always was after me to change
it. I would never let him. But he found a way to shorten it anyway. Make it sound cooler, huh?”
 I nodded some more. “Yeah. Exactly.”
There was awkward silence which was topped by more awkwardness when Claire walked into
the kitchen.
She came from a different entrance and froze when she saw me and saw Will.
“Morning,” I said to Claire.
“What are you doing awake?”
“Studying hard,” I said. “Got to get those grades so I can become big and rich like you, right?”
Will laughed. “She’s got attitude.”
“This is Will,” Claire said. “He’s, uh, a colleague of mine.”
“Right,” I said.
“He slept in the guest wing,” Claire said, her tone defensive.
“Okay,” I said. “I was just getting some coffee.”
“She was going to walk the beach,” Will said.
“How long have you two been talking?” Claire asked.
“Not long,” Will said in a commanding tone.
Claire seemed to instantly back off.
“I’m going to go back to bed,” I said. “This whole walk early in the morning thing wasn’t a good
idea.” I looked at Claire. “At all.”
I hurried to get out of the kitchen, coffee in hand, and went back to my room.
I knew I wasn’t going to go back to sleep.
And it had nothing to do with the coffee either.

T he Rulz put a football in my locker.

That was today’s prize.
Which was a stark reminder of the football game between BFH and HCH, and that I was to attend.
Funny thing I had already planned on going to the football game because it intrigued me. Where I used
to live, there were no sports. Maybe basketball, but most of the hoops were bent and crooked, or just
knocked down completely all together. Some kids played street hockey, but that wasn’t all that
exciting because they had to keep an eye out for cars coming down the road.
So this town embracing football the way it did… I mean, the stadium alone was insane. Like a
professional football team stadium.
And that’s where I sat.
The first row of bleachers, my right leg bouncing like crazy.
I waited for Gi to show up to talk to her.
It was supposed to be just Gi.
When I saw Iris walking with her, I felt like screaming.
Those two were attached at the hip.
No, Ti, they’re best friends. True best friends. Like the way you and Ruby used to be.
My heart sank a little.
I hated that my old friends hated me for where I was now.
But in a way I couldn’t blame them.
I grabbed the railing and forced myself to stand.
 Gi and Iris walked up the bleachers.
“Why the secret meeting?” Iris asked.
“You’re not even supposed to be here,” I said.
“I know,” Iris said.
“You told her?” I asked Gi.
Gi shrugged her shoulders. “What was I supposed to say?”
“Make something up,” I said.
“We don’t lie to each other,” Iris said. “So what’s the big news? Did you finally do it? Who’d you
pick?”
“First off, fuck you,” I said to Iris.
She blew me a kiss.
“What’s going on, Ti?” Gi asked.
“I saw something,” I said.
“Oh, that monster looking back from the mirror?” Iris asked. “Don’t worry, Ti, that’s just your
face.”
“And you wonder why I didn’t want you to bring her,” I said to Gi.
“Iris, cool it,” Gi said.
“I got up early to go down to the beach,” I said. “And there was someone in the kitchen. Pres’s
father. He was… getting dressed.”
“Oh, that’s good,” Iris said. “What exactly did you see?”
“Shut up,” Gi yelled and slapped Iris’s arm. She looked at me. “What’s your point?”
“I know what we saw before… but this… I mean, Claire came into the kitchen too and said he
slept in the guest wing.”
“Guest wing?” Iris asked.
“Yeah,” I said. “I call bullshit on that.”
“What’s your point?” Gi asked again.
I shook my head. “Who the hell is Pres’s father? I told Pres about it that night of Roman’s party
and he didn’t care.”
“Nobody cares,” Iris said.
“Why not?”
“They just don’t,” Gi said.
“So that’s how you rich people act?” I blurted out. “You just count your money and fuck each
other’s spouses.”
“Um, I’m not married, so I don’t know,” Gi said.
“And why does this matter to you?” Iris asked. “You worried about Pres’s feelings?”
“No,” I said. “I’m trying to figure out who Claire is.”
“Don’t bother,” Gi said. “You might not like the truth.”
“Truth?” I asked.
“Look, it’s simple,” Iris said. “Everyone knows how Pres’s father is. What he does. Why he does
it. He's the typical asshole looking to close the deal and get a little action on the side.”
“What about Pres’s mother?” I asked.
“Nobody has seen her in a long time,” Gi said. “So either she just enjoys herself at home. Or she
travels.”
“Or she has her own thing on the side too,” Iris said.
“Really?" I asked.
 “Why do you care so much?” Gi asked.
That was a question I couldn’t answer.
Maybe part of me thought these rich people lived happy and easy lives. Which wasn't true. Or
maybe I did care about Pres. At least in the sense of him having to deal with that kind of thing. His
father sleeping around. People knowing about it. Maybe that was part of the reason why Pres was the
way he was.
Which then made me wonder what the truths were of Barr and Kip.
“I thought you grew up in a shithole,” Iris said.
“Iris!” Gi snapped.
“What?” Iris asked. “I’m just saying… people cheating…”
“Iris is right,” I said. “I was just surprised this morning. That’s all. Just a lot going through my
mind. This entire thing is…”
“Fucked,” Gi said.
“Fucked,” I said. “I don’t even know what I want anymore.”
“I don’t feel bad for anyone,” Iris said.
“Of course you don’t,” I said. “Feeling bad would require a heart.”
“Funny,” she said. “You can’t imagine the things the Rulz have done.”
“Like what?” an outside voice asked.
There was a grunt sound and next thing I knew Kip was pulling himself up over the railing.
Swinging like a ninja monkey or something, his muscles flexed tight as he jumped the railing and
landed hard on the bleachers.
Pres walked up the steps from the right.
I smelled Barr’s smoke before seeing him on the left.
“What have we done to you?” Barr asked Iris.
Again, the way she and Gi just backed down surprised me.
“Hey, sugar, how was your day?” Pres asked me with a grin.
His father flashed into my mind which was kind of weird and gross at the same time.
“We’re trying to talk here,” I said.
“So talk, girl,” Kip said. “I love good gossip. Who is sleeping with who… right? Isn’t that what
you talk about? Or are you planning your next sleepover? Pillow fights in your panties.”
“Or maybe we can just collect what we came for,” Barr said.
“Which is what?”
Barr took a drag off his cigarette and blew the smoke all around us. “You, love. We’re here for
you.”
“Which means, you leave,” Kip said as he made a quick move and hooked his hand around Iris’s
bag, stealing it.
“Don’t,” Iris said.
“Fetch,” Kip said as he tossed the bag off the bleachers.
Somehow he managed to get her keys though, which dangled from his middle finger on his right
hand.
“Why’d you do that?” I asked Kip.
“Felt like it,” he said.
“You’re next,” Barr said to Gi.
“I don’t have a bag with me,” she said.
“So we’ll just toss you over then,” Barr said.
 Gi turned pale.
“No you won’t,” I said. “Come after me. You have no business with my friends.”
“Friends,” Pres said. “The new girl making friends. It’s so sweet.”
I looked around at them wondering why they were suddenly back to being their old asshole
selves.
My nerves started to shake, wondering if they knew the truth about me. That their bet meant
nothing because there wasn’t nothing to bet on. There was nothing to win from me or because of me. I
was simply just back to what I always was…
The dirty, poor girl with the junkie mom.
“What do you think?” Barr asked Gi. “Feel like learning how to fly today?”
“No,” Gi said.
“Then you should make your exit,” Kip said.
Gi locked eyes to me.
I gave a nod. “Just go. I’ll be fine.”
“Of course you will, sugar,” Pres said as he closed in on me. “We’ve got you. Nothing bad can
happen now.”
Gi and Iris started to walk away when Kip let out a whistle.
“Forgot something,” Kip said as he dangled Iris’s keys.
She walked back with fear in her eyes and swiped the keys from him.
Then Iris looked at me. “Text me. Please.”
“I’ll see you later,” I said. “Football game.”
“Right,” Iris said.
She walked two steps and Barr took the cigarette out of his mouth and flicked it at her feet. Iris
jumped over it and ran away.
“What was that about?” I asked.
“Just for fun, girl,” Kip said. “Making it known things are exactly the way they should be.”
“And what does that have to do with me?” I asked.
“It just does, love,” Barr said.
“Plus, we wanted to give you something,” Kip said.
“Oh?”
“A little gift, sugar,” Pres said.
He reached behind him and tossed something at me.
I stepped back and cringed, thinking it was something heavy or deadly.
It was…
Cloth.
It was a hoodie.
A very large hoodie.
With the BFH name and colors on it.
“Just to make sure you’re on the right side tonight,” Barr said.
“Last thing we would ever want is to lose you to those HCH assholes,” Kip said.
“Oh yeah? Will they be trying to sway me to their side?” I asked.
“You never know,” Pres said.
“I don’t know… I keep hearing a lot about this Weslee Jackson. I wonder what he’s all about.”
Barr got closer to me and put his hand to my back.
Instant shivers.
His smoky breath danced along my cheek as he crouched down to whisper to me.
“Wear the fucking hoodie, love,” Barr whispered. “And enjoy the game.”
“But stay close to us,” Kip said.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because we said so,” Pres said.
He motioned with his head and the three of them slowly walked away.
I sat back down on the bleachers, alone again.
I tossed the hoodie over the railing and stared at the name on it.
They came here to harass Gi and Iris just to give me a hoodie?
I only wished it were that simple.
 six

“W here exactly are we going?” I asked Iris as she drove.

“To a football field,” Iris said.
“It’s halfway between the schools,” Gi said.
“Why not use BFH?” I asked.
“This isn’t the kind of football game you’re thinking of.”
“Of course not,” I said. “Nothing ever is.”
“That’s a nice hoodie, Ti,” Iris said. “Where’d you get it?”
“Where do you think?” I asked. “I’m sorry for what they did to you.”
“It is what it is,” Iris said. “I warned you. They do what they want. They take what they want.
They don’t care about anything. There’s no way around it either.”
I sighed. “Yeah.”
“Let’s just have fun tonight,” Gi said. “Cheer on Brando and Maverick. Laugh at the stupid stuff as
it happens. Avoid the fights.”
“Fights?” I asked.
“Putting BFH and HCH together is not a good thing,” Iris said. “There will be fights.”
“Which means we need an escape plan,” Gi said.
“An escape plan? For real?”
“For real,” Gi said.
“Just remember where I park,” Iris said. “I’ll leave the doors unlocked too. So we can just meet
up here and take off.”
“You’re really painting this game to be something,” I said.
“Trust me, Ti, you can handle it,” Gi said. “After all you’ve dealt with so far. This is nothing.”
She looked at Iris and they both laughed.
I hated that feeling.
I sat back in the middle of the backseat and kept my mouth shut for the rest of the ride.
And when we got to the field, it sort of reminded me of the ditch.
The look and feel of it.
There were a lot of cars, SUVs, even motorcycles parked everywhere. But there was this
imaginary line that made it very obvious who was from Bay Falls High and who was from Hidden
Creek High.
As I climbed out of Iris’s car, I saw Gi standing with her arms crossed. I followed her stare and
she was locked on some other girl.
 “Who’s that?” I whispered to Gi.
“Bitch,” Gi said.
“That’s her name?”
“Emma.”
I turned my head and saw a girl so ridiculously beautiful she looked like a runway model. And
even with her face twisted into a wicked bitch face she was still breathtaking.
“Hate her,” Gi said.
“I can sense it. She’s from Hidden Creek High?”
“Yeah. So are the others.”
There was a group of girls there.
And guys.
A tall girl with big boobs touched Emma’s shoulder, pulling her attention away from Gi. Miss big
boobs was then pulled away by some guy who put his arms around her. She fought him off then turned
only to start kissing him.
“Charlotte and Flynn,” Gi said. “Dumbass couple. She’s in it because he’s tight with Wes and he’s
in it because she’s got an amazing chest.”
“At least they both have something they like from each other,” I said with a smile.
“Don’t,” Gi said.
“What’s wrong over here?” Iris asked as she walked around her car.
“Gi is catching up with old friends,” I said.
Iris lifted her eyebrow and turned her head. “Oh. Say no more.” Iris gave a wave. “Hey there
Kailey! Still didn’t get your tits yet, huh?”
“Holy shit,” I said. “Iris…”
“Come on, let’s get out of here,” Gi said.
She grabbed for Iris’s hand. Then she grabbed for my hand.
We walked away fast and I looked back.
The group from HCH were already gone.
I was starting to understand why this was such a big deal.
The tension was unbelievable. Like everyone was one breath away from throwing a punch.
And the football game hadn’t even started yet.

I t was intense.
And intense wasn’t even a good enough word for it.
They were playing with no football pads or helmets. The really built and fit guys weren’t wearing
shirts. And they were playing hard. Running at full force. Hitting each other with purpose. They
weren’t really even tackling each other. They were out for blood. For injury.
And they were all cheating.
It wasn’t just HCH either.
Actually, it was mostly BFH playing dirty. Like really dirty.
The sidelines for HCH screamed and argued. Everyone looked ready to storm the field.
I was just a foot or two away from the sidelines.
My eyes had no idea what to look at first.
 I scanned the other side of the field.
Gi and Iris pointed out anyone that seemed important to them.
I finally got a look at the ever so popular Weslee Jackson.
He was tall, built, with messy dark hair, and had the appeal of a young biker dude ready to pull
out a gun or a knife. And the girl he was with - Aira - was pretty. And Weslee had his hands all over
her, making it damn well known she was his.
It actually made me casually look left to right, knowing I was standing alone. Yet at the same time
knowing I had three guys who wanted me. Except they wanted me for the wrong reasons. Not the
same reasons Weslee wanted Aira.
Great.
Now I stood there feeling jealous.
Maverick came running to the sidelines and got a drink of water.
Brando was right behind him.
“Fuck this,” Brando said. “I’m putting the ball in the air this time. You good with it?”
“About fucking time,” Maverick said. “Open the field and show them speed.”
“They’re going to crush you,” Roman said.
“Then we better stop that from happening,” Brando said. “I don’t give a shit what it takes.
Maverick is scoring on this play. Everyone on the field if need be. Fuck these pussies. I want them
pissed off.”
“I think they’re plenty pissed off,” Iris said.
Brando looked at Iris. “You going to run out there? Throw some hits?”
“I bet I can dance on your face,” Iris said.
“Oh, I’d love that,” Brando said. “Save it for after the game. I’ll need a snack.”
Iris threw him the middle finger.
Maverick pulled at Brando. “Let’s go.”
“Oh, that was hot,” I said to Iris.
“Been there, done that,” Iris said.
“Brando?” I asked.
“And Maverick,” Gi added.
“What? You’ve got a soft spot for football players?”
“Just a wild rebound,” Gi said.
“Hey,” Iris growled. “You want to spill my history here? Why don’t you tell your new BFF what
you did with your hairbrush that one time?”
I turned my head to Gi.
“Brushed my hair,” she said.
Iris snorted. She was ready to spill something else, but then she grabbed my arm. “Oh. Shit.”
I looked at the field and watched as Brando ran backwards, his feet moving fast and smooth. He
threw the ball as someone hit him. He fell to the ground hard but quickly got up.
Everyone’s eyes followed the ball.
There was Maverick running along the side of the field.
Someone came running across, ready to hit him.
Maverick made some kind of spinning move and tripped the guy, sending him down to the ground
with force. The guy rolled right toward us and we jumped back, laughing.
Iris swung her foot. “Go to your side of the field, asshole.”
“Fuck off, cunt,” the guy said as he got up.
 “Whoa,” I said.
“I hate them all,” Iris said.
There was a loud cheer from our side of the field as Maverick made the catch and ran in for a
touchdown.
It was now HCH’s turn with the ball.
Their quarterback Ryder huddled with his team and then quickly ran a play.
“Fuck that,” Gi said.
It was a pass to Kyle who was quickly walloped by Roman.
That caused Ryder to go after Roman.
Brando and Maverick then ran onto the field.
“Here we go,” Iris said.
“Nah, it’s too soon,” Gi said. “Plus, it won’t be them. It’ll be Wes.”
“Wes?” I asked.
“He started this shit,” Gi said. “It’s going to go down. Just wait and watch.”
The scuffle on the field ended as fast as it started.
Ryder grabbed the ball and called a play.
Kyle took off down the field and caught a really good pass to score.
HCH cheered and pointed and laughed at us.
Everyone on the BFH side booed and yelled back.
My heart was racing a little as I was starting to get caught up in it. And I knew nobody across the
field. Hell, I really didn’t know anyone on the side of the field I was on. Yet I was feeling it. Getting
swept up in the fun of it.
Brando grabbed Maverick by the back of the neck and pulled him close. They looked ready to
kiss but they were talking about a play.
They nodded and took to the field.
Brando called out the play and everyone started pushing and shoving each other again.
Maverick tried to keep getting away from two guys but it was hard to do.
Brando darted all over the field trying to make a play.
With no choice, he threw the ball toward the sidelines to end the play.
That didn’t end the play though.
Roman stood a foot away from me.
Someone from HCH then came running toward him.
Before I could say a word, Roman was hit and came flying in my direction. Him hitting me was
going to kill me. Or at the very least, knock me down, knock me out, break some bones.
I couldn’t even scream.
I shut my eyes and felt myself fly back… but without pain.
When I opened my eyes, I was surrounded by the Rulz.
Kip had his strong arms around me while Barr and Pres were in front of me to make sure they
didn’t accidentally kill me.
Roman got to his feet and looked around for me. “She okay?”
“Get the fuck out there,” Pres ordered. He quickly turned and looked at me. “What the fuck were
you doing so close?”
“It’s okay, girl,” Kip whispered. “He’s just nervous about you getting hurt.”
“Listening to your friends again,” Barr said.
I shook to get out of Kip’s grip. “It was an accident. Who cares? I’m only here because you said
to come.”
Pres’s dark eyes flared. “You take commands on when to come, sugar?”
I rolled my eyes as I blushed.
Of course he would go there…
“Can I just watch the game?” I asked.
“With us here, sure, love,” Barr said.
And that’s what they did. They stood right behind me, lined up, making sure I was safe.
I could feel Iris and Gi already becoming distant. They were now standing next to each other, arm
in arm, probably as a way to remind each other they had each other.
All the while I had the Rulz.
Which wasn’t the worst thing in the world because the football game was getting more and more
tense. I kept my eyes across the field and watched as Weslee looked ready to explode.
And then it happened.
Weslee walked out onto the field.
And he wasn’t alone.
“Now it’s happening,” Gi said. She reached for me. “We better get going.”
“No,” Iris said. “I want to watch.”
“Your friend is right, girl,” Kip said from behind me. “Time to leave.”
I looked back. “I have a ride. No need to-”
Barr pulled me toward him and turned.
It was like the entire field exploded.
People started running everywhere and anywhere they wanted, trying to get near the field.
It was a giant fight.
Like a real fight.
“You’re with us, love,” Barr said.
I looked and tried to find Gi and Iris but they were lost in the crazy shuffle.
“I’m fine on my own,” I said to Barr.
“Shit, we’re out of here,” Pres said. “Kip, take the side. We’ve got eyes.”
“Eyes?” I asked.
“Nothing you need to worry about,” Barr said.
Kip took off in a hurry. I tried to see where he was going.
For a split second I thought I saw someone familiar.
The guys from the fight at the ditch. The ones wearing leather jackets.
But I couldn’t be sure.
Barr and Pres led the way and when I started dragging my feet just a little, Pres swept his arms
around me and tossed me to his back. Like… literally…
I put my arms around his neck and my hands down to his chest.
He reached back and gripped the back of my legs so tight it did things to me that I wasn’t proud to
admit.
“No time for this shit, sugar,” he said to me as we approached his giant SUV.
He walked to the driver’s side and put me on my feet. He turned really fast and grabbed my chin.
Those wild dark eyes of his just ripped through me.
“We’ll get you home safe,” he whispered.
And he lowered his mouth down to mine.
Pres kissed me like we were never going to see each other again. And that he wanted to make sure
I would never kiss another guy again because nobody could match his kiss.
He kissed so perfectly, I slapped my hands to the SUV door.
The smell of his cologne and the taste of his mouth made me want to rob a bank and become a rich
bitch just to stay in BFH forever.
Tinsley, no! They’re just trying to use you. You can’t… fall for… this…
Pres pulled away and I stupidly kissed the air for a second, wanting more.
That just gave him even more power.
He opened the door for me and nodded to get inside.
I slid across the smooth leather seat and watched as Barr lit up a cigarette.
He had his head turned, grinning at me.
Like he knew Pres just kissed me.
Which wouldn’t have surprised me at all.
But still… it left me feeling weird.
Pres got into the driver’s seat.
“What was that?” I asked.
“Bullshit, love,” Barr said.
“No…”
“Yes,” Pres said. He looked in the mirror at me. “They want to fight like that? That’s on them. I
don’t care. No time for it.”
“Pres is right, love,” Barr said. “That’s an old war that will never end. Every once in a while it
gets kicked up. And with what happened to Wes’s girl, he needed tonight.”
I swallowed hard. “So you’re okay with Brando and Maverick getting beat up…”
“You want a fight, you get it,” Pres said. “And this way HCH can feel like they got something up
on us. But they don’t.”
“Not even close.”
“What does that-”
The passenger back door opened.
It was Kip.
He climbed into the SUV and I saw blood.
I gasped.
“Kip…”
He showed me his hands. “Not mine, girl.”
“Clean yourself up, man,” Barr said. “You’re scaring Tinsley.”
“I’m not scared,” I said.
“It’s okay, girl. You were worried about me. That’s sweet of you.”
“Who did you fight?” I asked.
Kip turned and reached into the back of the SUV.
I could smell the sweat on his skin. Like the ocean water. Like the moisture in the air from the
ocean breeze.
My toes curled in my shoes.
They were all so much to handle. Especially at once.
“It wasn’t a fight,” Kip said. He sat back down and rubbed a black towel over his hands. “Just
had to keep things safe for you.”
“For me? Is someone after me?”
“Nobody is after you, sugar,” Pres said.
 “Well, that’s a lie,” Barr said. He took a drag of his cigarette. “I’m after you, love.”
I looked at Kip. “You going to punch Barr to save me?”
“I’ll take him out to get to you, girl,” Kip said.
All three of them started to laugh.
I wasn’t laughing at all though.
It was all scary. And serious.
Kip clapped his hands together, scaring me. “How about that football game, huh?”
They kept laughing.
I looked out the window and saw nothing.
It was just darkness.
Darkness everywhere.

“I have to make a quick call,” Pres said. He gently touched my chin again. “You get some rest,
sugar. Sleep tight.”
He kissed my cheek.
I walked around the SUV and Kip threw his door open and hung out toward me.
“Hey, girl.”
“Hey, Kip,” I said.
“Want to kiss my boo boos?” he asked and made a fist, showing me his knuckles.
“No,” I said. “Those boo boos are your fault.”
“Damn. Then what do you want to kiss?”
“How about your apology to Iris for what you did to her?”
“You’re still worried about that?” Kip asked. “Damn, girl, you hold a grudge like you’ve lived
here all your life.” He turned his head and pointed to his cheek. “Plant one right here and I’ll think it
over later. When I’m in bed. Wishing you were there with me.”
I leaned in and kissed Kip’s cheek.
He shut the door and Barr opened his door.
It was like a fucking routine for them. Or something they all practiced when I wasn’t around.
Barr got out of the SUV and flicked a cigarette to the ground.
“I’ll walk you to your door, love,” he said.
“Really? It’s a gated driveway. Nobody is going to be here that I don’t want here.”
“Then it shouldn’t be a problem,” he said.
Barr started walking, leaving me no choice. As always.
I caught up to him and he put his arm around me.
He smelled like smoke.
And I was still really pissed at myself for liking it as much as I did.
When we got to the door, he pulled me close for a hug.
It was a little bit surprising to me.
So I hugged him back.
I rested my head to his chest.
“Something I want to show you, love,” he said.
“What? Or better yet… is this where you slip in something sexual?”
 “No,” he said. He looked down at me and grinned. “Although…”
“Barr…”
“You have to come somewhere with me.”
“Right now?”
“Not tonight, love. I’ll let you know when.”
“You want me to go somewhere with you? Alone?”
“Just us,” he said.
“What about Pres and Kip? Won’t they get jealous.”
“Good point,” he said. “Maybe we can make it our filthy little secret together.”
“You’re not really that good of a friend then.”
“The word friend is used loosely in this town.”
“That much I can agree with,” I said.
Barr stroked my cheek with the back of his hand. “What do you think, love?”
“I think I’m tired. And annoyed. I’m going to go inside and be done with this.”
“You can text me,” Barr said. “You’re not going to want to say no.”
“Right,” I said.
I reached for the door and Barr swiped my hand. He brought it to his mouth and kissed the back of
my hand. Then he rubbed my fingertips in his hand.
“You ever play piano?”
“Me?” I asked. “No. Those kinds of things…”
“Maybe someday I can teach you,” he said.
“Okay. Sure thing, Barr.”
“Goodnight, love.”
“Goodnight,” I said.
I opened the door and tripped over my own two feet as I went inside.
That made Barr laugh.
I looked back to say something nasty to him but he was walking away. Lighting up another
cigarette.
I stood there and watched them.
Kip put his window down. Barr smoked. Pres stood a few feet away from the SUV on his phone.
I bit my bottom lip and slowly shut the door.
I was more than lost.
My entire plan screwed up.
But the plan was still there.
They may have been the hottest guys in BFH. They may have been the most feared. They may have
been horrible for what they wanted from me.
But I was the one with the truth.
The truth that would leave them looking stupid and weak.
 seven

I walked to the piano room but didn’t enter.

I stared for a few seconds and shook my head. The game was officially a push and pull kind
of thing. In some way I felt like Claire. Trying to close a big real estate deal. Except this wasn’t
over a house or land. This was over… me.
Me?
Was it really over me?
“Tinsley, I’m so glad you’re home.”
I hadn’t realized Claire was standing at the other entrance to the piano room.
Yeah.
This room that never got used for a piano that never got played had two entrances.
“Just walked in,” I said. “Everything okay?”
“Not so sure. Come talk with me.”
I didn’t like that at all.
Actually, I didn’t like anything.
I had gone to the football game with Gi and Iris and came home with the Rulz.
I hurried to grab my phone and text Gi.
u ok? I’m home
The three dots appeared right away as I slowly walked toward the kitchen.
Gi’s reply buzzed through my phone.
fine. Heard the fight didn’t last long. Worried about cops. The bet still on? ;)
I rolled my eyes.
That was probably Iris chirping in her ear to type that to me.
I replied with X$X$X$ lol - still a good girl
“Tinsley?” Claire’s voice echoed.
“Right here,” I said in the best fake happy voice I could find.
Gi replied back with another wink emoji and that was the end of our conversation.
As long as I knew she was home safe, I was okay.
My phone buzzed again.
My eyes did a quick look.
It was Barr.
The answer is always yes, love.
I swallowed hard.
 He wanted me to go somewhere with him.
For what?
So he could get me alone and try all his slick and stupid moves on me? Say all the sweet things
that worked on other girls. But they wouldn’t work on me. I knew the intentions and knew the ending.
Or at least I could control the ending.
Or just stop the entire thing all together.
Tell the Rulz they were fucking idiots for what they were doing. That I wasn’t the pure good girl
they thought I was. Make a fool of them and then give the peace sign to BFH before they could do
anything back to me.
“Tinsley, I know your generation has their phone glued to their hand,” Claire said, “but I need you
to look at me.”
I slid my phone away. “Look. Nothing glued. Sorry. Just checking up on friends. Making sure
everyone got home safe.”
“Safe?” Claire asked.
“There was a fight.”
“A fight?”
“Boys. Right?”
“Right,” Claire said.
“I’m still trying to figure things out around here. The whole Bay Falls High versus Hidden Creek
High thing…”
“Oh, that,” Claire said. “You need to stay away from that. You understand? That’s not just a
typical fight. That’s something much bigger than that.”
“I’ve heard.”
“You’ve heard, but you don’t know,” Claire said.
“Why don’t you tell me a little then?”
Claire laughed. She looked at a wine glass next to her. She downed the entire glass and smacked
her lips together. “Four of these and I’m spilling the beans to you, Tinsley.”
“What happens after five?” I asked.
“That attitude of yours… it’s never changed.”
I shrugged my shoulders.
“The Jackson family owns a lot of undeveloped land in Hidden.”
“Jackson,” I said. “As in Weslee Jackson?”
“His family, yes. And for years there’s been offers, fights, just… craziness over the land. His
grandfather refuses to sell. His father would sell his soul for a dollar but he doesn’t have access to
the land. I don’t even think when the old man dies his kids get the land. The one son is worse than the
one who would sell his soul.”
“Sounds nice and messy,” I said.
“You bet,” Claire said. “There have been groups who tried to buy, sue, force the land… nothing
works. That’s where a lot of it comes from. So you have these adults with their kids growing up,
hating each other…”
“Ah, right,” I said. “Parents teaching their kids how to hate and who to hate.”
“Maybe this rich life isn’t so rich after all,” Claire said with a grin.
I leaned toward her. “Try not having power in the middle of a heatwave and not eating for two
days all the while your mother is strung out, high, pacing, convinced the government is after her which
is why she won’t leave the apartment to get some food.”
 Claire turned her head away and looked ready to cry. “Jesus Christ, Tinsley.”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “That was only a one-time thing.”
“I’m sorry that happened to you,” Claire said. “It’s my fault.”
“No it’s not. You did your job.”
“There’s a reason I wanted to talk to you tonight.”
“And here I am sitting waiting to talk to you.”
Claire grinned. “She’s not doing good.”
“Who?”
“Your mother.”
“What?” I asked, standing up.
Claire put her hand out. “It’s okay, Tinsley. I wanted to be honest with you. She’s been having a
hard time there. She’s been asking to talk to you. I said no. Because I know what she says to you. Last
thing I want is her to get in your head and get you confused or feeling guilty over anything.”
“Yeah, that’s sort of her specialty.”
“No more then,” Claire said. “If you do want to talk to her, I can arrange that. I’m not trying to
hide her from you. Or you from her. Please don’t even think that.”
“I’m not thinking that at all.”
“Okay. Good. You’re here, Tinsley. Maybe this isn’t perfect, but you’re here. You just got done
saying you were checking up on friends. That makes me happy. There’s been a few bumps in the road,
but I think this is working.”
I swallowed hard. “You know, Claire, I can figure things out on my own. I mean, if I’m in the way.
I mean, when I got coffee and was going to go down to the beach…”
Claire shook her head. “Why don’t we just forget about that?”
“Fine by me.”
“I’m not going to talk about that either.”
“I didn’t ask.”
“Good,” Claire said. “I respect you for that.”
“It’s not just that, Claire. I mean you have people over for dinner and drinks. Working on deals. I
saw that guy in the car again. He looks at me weird and then speeds off. I don’t want to ask
questions…”
“Tinsley, stop,” Claire said. “If you want to leave, you can leave. Your mother is never going to
get better if she doesn’t know you’re safe. You want me to lie to her? I will. You want me to give you
some money to get started on your own? I’ll do that too. But she’s not doing good. I don’t know what
else I can do for her. So right now at the very least I’m hoping I can just take care of you. My offering
to her. And to you.”
Claire stood up and walked her wine glass to the sink.
I glanced at my phone.
Everything rushed through my head.
I didn’t want to go back to that shithole apartment and shithole town. Not that the apartment would
still be waiting. And it wasn’t like I had friends waiting for me either.
“Claire, is she going to make it?” I asked. “I mean, for real.”
“I don’t know,” Claire said. “I wanted to be honest with you though. I know you haven’t talked to
her in a while. And just in case she manages to get in touch with you…”
“She’s still there, right?”
“Of course,” Claire said. “I told her she has no choice. If she doesn’t stay there and get clean then
I’ll go after her.”
“After her?”
Claire looked at me. “Forgive me for saying this, Tinsley. I’m not proud of this. But I will put her
in jail. She will have no choice but to cut this shit for good.”
“Why does it matter so much to you? I mean… no offense… but why now?”
“That’s a fair question,” Claire said. “And in the spirit of telling the truth, I can’t answer that. I
don’t know. Maybe I figured she would take care of herself. Or maybe I thought she would… kill
herself. But that didn’t happen. And you being you, Tinsley, I owe it to you.”
I let out a long breath.
Wow. What a heavy conversation.
“Claire…”
This time when she looked at me she looked almost ready to cry.
“I’ll spoil something for you,” she whispered. “What happens after the fifth glass of wine? I
actually sleep.”
She left the kitchen with her empty wine glass.
I sat there just feeling empty.

I sat on the beach, alone.

It was dark.
Windy.
Not quiet at all.
But the noise was a sense of quiet.
The waves slamming to the shore with force, the water almost flirting with me as it crept up near
my toes. Getting closer by the minute as the tide did its thing. Funny how that was something I was
supposed to have learned at some point in school but didn’t remember.
Of all things, my mind thought of Devin.
That stupid prick.
He was the scummy poor kid who could throw a punch and wasn’t afraid of anything. We clicked
when we clicked and we fought when we didn’t click. It was nothing but cliché for the two of us.
But yet somehow, someway his crap rumor about me being untouched spread all the way to BFH.
That amazed me. From poor to rich. And I was somehow sitting in the center of it all.
The real reason why Devin told everyone I was a good girl prude was because he was making
moves on plenty of other girls. Even when he and I were together. His eyes never stopped looking.
Not for a second. And he would say or do anything to get what he wanted.
Who does that sound like?
I laughed to nobody and looked down at my phone.
Barr being Barr, he hadn’t given up on me.
My phone buzzed with a new text message, him waiting for me to reply with one word.
Yes.
That’s all he wanted.
In a way it was kind of cute to watch him beg through text messages.
It gave me a sense of power over Barr.
 And the rest of them.
Which meant I had to go forward with my plan. String them along. Find a way to break them. And
maybe this was the way to do it… one by one. Alone. See how far they’d go for something from me.
My phone buzzed again.
I laughed.
“You don’t know when to shut up, do you, Barr?” I asked.
“Not when it comes to you, love.”
I screamed and dropped my phone.
Then I whipped my head around and saw Barr standing a few feet behind me.
I saw the flicker of fire from his lighter and watch him light a cigarette.
I climbed to my feet, grabbing my phone from the sand.
“What are you doing?” I asked him.
“Waiting for an answer,” he said.
“I’ll text you when I have my answer,” I said.
“Then I’ll just wait here all fucking night for you, love,” he said.
I shook my head. “How do you all go from complete fucking assholes to this?”
“I can still be a complete fucking asshole,” Barr said.
“How? Are you going throw sand at my face?”
Barr crouched, the cigarette balanced between his lips. He took a handful of sand and stood up.
I put my hand out. “That was a joke.”
He half grinned.
That made him look somehow hotter. The half smirk. The cigarette. The honey gold eyes. The way
he looked at me.
He took a drag of the cigarette and took it out of his mouth with his other hand.
“This isn’t a joke to me, Tinsley,” he said in a deep voice.
“Then just throw the sand and see what happens,” I said.
“Nah, love. That’s not my style.” Barr slowly opened his hand, letting the sand gently fall and
blow away in the beach breeze. “I prefer things slow and controlled. Watching it all blow away.
Time. Life. Whatever it is…”
Barr lifted his eyebrow and opened his hand to show me there was no more sand.
Then he took a drag of his cigarette leaving that nasty smell I loved so much blowing into my face.
My heart was racing. My body started to ache.
It was that kind of ache too.
The one where I could have jumped at him and ended the bet right there on the beach.
I managed to collect myself and slowly walked away.
“Should have thrown the sand at my face,” I said.
Barr laughed. “Next time, love.”
I walked away from Barr and looked back a few times to see him still standing there. Enjoying his
cigarette.
Whatever I was even thinking about feeling needed to get squashed.
I grabbed my phone and knew exactly what to do.
I opened the barrage of text messages from Barr.
And I finally answered his question.
But I didn’t say yes.
I said something else.
Just to be a bitch and just to make sure I could convince myself I could take the Rulz down.
I wrote back one word.
YUP
 eight

“W e need to talk.”
I opened my locker and saw what was waiting and quickly shut it.
Now I had no choice but to talk to Beth.
“What?” I asked her.
“Will you slap me?”
“What?”
“Like right across the face. As hard as you can.”
“I’m not slapping you, Beth,” I said.
“Fine. I’ll find someone who will.”
She moved fast and when I spotted Blair and Vicky I rolled my eyes.
Beth hurried right up to Vicky and pushed her.
“Shit,” I whispered.
Beth nodded and tried to push Vicky again.
Vicky wound up and smacked Beth right across her left cheek. She hit Beth hard, Beth fell against
the lockers. Grabbing her face, she turned and faced the lockers, slowly bending her legs.
Of course both Blair and Vicky looked at me.
Blair pointed at me and then offered up a perfectly manicured middle finger.
Vicky stared down at her hand, smiling.
I just stood there and let them pass by.
Beth slowly turned and came back to me.
“What the hell was that?” I asked her.
“My apology,” she whispered.
“For what?”
“For what I asked you to do,” she said. “I was caught up in the moment of everything. I deserved a
slap across the face.”
“Well if I knew that’s what it was for I would have slapped you,” I said.
“I have another cheek,” Beth said.
She moved her hand from her face and there was a pretty nice handprint on the left side of her
face.
“You’re crazy,” I said.
“Maybe,” she said. “But I was even crazier to ask you to do what I did.”
“I agree with that,” I said.
 “In my head it made sense. Something quick and easy to get back at Denny.”
“I get it. He hurt you. And I’m sorry he did that. We can find another way to get back at him. I can
get a screwdriver and-”
“Or just put some of that super strong glue in his shampoo bottle,” Beth said.
“No way,” I said.
“Or tell everyone the truth about what he isn’t packing,” she said.
“Keep going.”
“Slash his tires. Invite him over for a little fun and then wait for him to drink himself to sleep and
do all kinds of things to him. Shave his head.”
“Or his eyebrows,” I said.
“Glue his hand to his-”
“You like the glue thing, huh?” I asked.
“I’m not going to do anything though,” Beth said. “Not my style. That’s why I asked you. You’re a
fucking badass, Ti. I’m nothing compared to you.”
“Don’t say that.”
“I have one trick. Period cramps. And it worked maybe three times.”
“My advice then is to forget about Denny,” I said. “Whatever he did to you he’ll do to someone
else.”
“Maybe some other bitch will cut his dick off.”
“Or maybe I could tell Kip he made a pass at me.”
“No,” Beth said.
“It wasn’t the worst idea. I mean, if I’m going to use them, use them as much as I can, right?”
“I’m not getting involved in that,” Beth said. She touched her cheek. “Fuck, this stings. That bitch
has a hard slap.”
“Go tell Jacobson what happened,” I said. “It’ll get you out of class.”
I opened my locker, forgetting what was in there.
My eyes went wide and Beth grabbed the locker door. “What is that?”
“Nothing.”
“That looks like a shoelace,” Beth said. “Is that from…”
“Yeah,” I said.
It was some kind of skimpy gross looking bikini. A top and bottom that was not a top and bottom
at all. Combine all the cloth together and it wouldn’t even cover one of my boobs. And that was
probably exactly what Barr wanted. Me to wear this stupid thing.
I slammed my locker closed, my cheeks red.
“Wow,” Beth said. “I think if you wore that, all three of them would… explode…”
“Gross,” I said. “Stop.” I pointed to Beth’s cheek. “Go get ice or something for that.”
“So you accept my apology then?”
“Yes,” I said. “You crazy bitch.”
Beth walked away and I refused to open my locker again.
I walked the hallway alone, feeling weirded out.
Of course the first turn I made, Barr was standing there.
“Hey, love,” he said.
“I’ll never wear that,” I said.
He grinned. “Hey. All I know is that I saw a pretty girl down on the beach fully clothed. Figured I
would get you something to wear. Beach attire.”
 “That’s not beach attire. That’s… strip club attire.”
Barr looked up and rubbed his chin. “Well, now that you mention it…”
I threw a punch at his chest.
Rock. Fucking. Hard.
“I hate you,” I said to him. “Don’t make me cancel tonight.”
“Can’t cancel,” Barr said. “Things are already in place.”
“Watch me.”
Barr moved toward me. “No, love, you’re going to watch me.”
“Are we deaf today?” a voice called out.
It was Jacobson from down the hallway.
“No,” Barr called out without looking at him.
“Last I heard, all bells had rung,” Jacobson called out. “Miss Ditkiss, is there a problem here?”
“No,” I said. “Sorry.”
“Get moving,” Jacobson said.
Barr walked by me but paused. He leaned toward me. “See you later for our date… Tinsley
Ditkiss.”
He laughed.
My cheeks burned again.
Jacobson was still staring at me. Except he was shaking his head.
As though he knew I was already in way too much trouble to be saved.
But that was just the saga of my life.

T here was a giant SUV blocking my way to the driveway.

It was Pres.
I had to park my SUV and get out.
He put the window down and pulled his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose with a cocky grin
on his face.
The word perfect flirted in my head and that was not a word I wanted to associate with any of the
Rulz.
But the way Pres was put together… head to toe…
“Hey, girl,” Kip said from the passenger seat.
I looked for Barr but he wasn’t with them.
“Where are you off to tonight?” Pres asked.
“I thought I smelled something other than cologne,” I said. “Jealous, huh?”
“Never,” Pres said. He reached out the window and stroked my chin. “Never, sugar.”
“I don’t know where I’m going,” I said. “Barr wants to show me something.”
“I bet he does,” Kip said.
“He can show anything he wants,” I said. “Nothing is going to impress me.”
“That sounds like a challenge,” Pres said.
I climbed up on the running board on the side of the SUV so I could be eye level for once with
Pres.
“What are you doing here?”
 “You always ask us that, sugar,” Pres said.
“And the answer is always the same,” Kip said. “To check up on you.”
“And once again, here I am. Me being me.”
“Stay safe tonight,” Pres said. “If you need anything, let us know.”
“Yeah? You think Barr is going to be putting my life in danger?”
“You never know what Barr is capable of, girl,” Kip said.
Pres touched my chin again, this time gently gripping it and pulling me toward him.
I realized he was trying to get a kiss from me.
And I wasn’t stopping it.
Ohmygod, Ti, you’re going to kiss Pres and then go on a date with Barr. What the fuck are you?
Pres put the tip of his nose to mine. That same sly grin crept across his face.
“Need anything else?” I asked.
“I’ll let you know when I do, sugar,” he said.
His lips brushed the tip of my nose.
And even that small gesture set my body on fire.
My eyes looked to Kip’s bright blue eyes and he winked.
How the fuck can a wink make this worse?
I stepped away from the SUV and Pres drove off.
They were messing with me worse than before.
My phone buzzed and it was Barr texting me.
See you soon love. Wear the bikini.
I curled my lip and texted back the middle finger emoji.
Which was stupid to do.
Barr would take that to heart.

B arr showed up in a sleek, long black car with the windows all blacked out. It was low to the
ground but not done in a custom way like guys used to do in my old town. When they’d buy a
piece of shit car and then try to customize it so much it looked stupid and sounded like someone was
passing gas as they drove by.
Not this car.
This car was made this way.
It was the darkest black I had ever seen. Yet it was so pristine and shiny. There wasn’t a logo or
name anywhere on it which made me assume it was probably worth more than anything I had ever
owned in my life added up together. Or ever would own for that matter.
Barr climbed out wearing a black buttoned down shirt with the top few buttons undone. Looking
killer handsome that it made me pause for a second. He helped himself to a cigarette as I walked
toward the car, casually inspecting it as though it wasn’t good enough for me to sit in.
In reality I was shaking on the inside.
He leaned against the car knowing it was a badass ride. You didn’t have to know a thing about
cars (hello, me) to know this was a cool vehicle.
“You look fucking amazing, love,” he said.
I snorted. “Yeah, right.”
 Barr threw his right hand out and touched my side. “Hey. You do.”
“Barr. These are cheap, shit clothes that I brought with me from the shithole I grew up in. These
are dirty, poor girl clothes. I’m afraid to sit in your car.”
“Well, it all works on you, love,” he said.
He moved his hand to my face for a quick second before he opened the car door and reached
inside. He moved smooth and cool, his eyes never leaving my eyes.
I reminded myself I wasn’t the first girl he had ever taken out on a date. Or whatever this was. So
I needed to be ready for all the moves and tricks and whatever else he had in store.
That included handing me a single red rose.
A long, thorny stem with a beautiful red, velvet petal laced rose at the top.
Honestly, it was the prettiest flower I had ever seen in my life.
There was a smell to it too. Just so fresh. So perfect.
So Barr.
And not just Barr either.
All three of them.
They had ways of always surprising me, even with little things.
Barr dropped his cigarette and left it smoking on the ground.
He took my hand and walked me around to the other side of the car. Pretending to be a gentleman,
he opened the car door and helped me inside.
The seats were a black leather that were super big and super comfortable.
I sat there trying to keep my breathing in check.
Barr got into the car, revved the quiet yet deadly engine, and looked at me.
“Ready, love?” he asked.
“I’m sitting here, aren’t I?” I asked, trying to offer a snotty bitch tone.
That only made Barr smile even more.
He loved when I was mean.
He loved when I was nice.
When he put his foot to the pedal, the car took off.
And I mean… took off.
I grabbed for the door and the seat, my body pushed hard to the seat, almost making it hard to
breathe.
He sped down the driveway and I thought about shutting my eyes because there was no way in
hell he was going to make it through the gate opening without killing us. The car flew through the open
gates and Barr cut the wheel, turning right with smooth precision. Any other car would have fishtailed
and the tires would have squealed. Not this car. It was made for this kind of driving.
And once we got on the main road where it was nothing but straight road, he sped up even more.
“You okay over there, love?” Barr asked.
“Just fine,” I said. “You wanted to pick me up in an expensive car and show me you could drive
fast?”
“No. We have somewhere to go.”
“Where?” I asked.
Barr glanced at me. “That’s the fun part. You’ll see.”
I rolled my eyes.
Barr sped through town and then left town.
That’s when even more of my nerves started to act up.
 BFH had become a sense of home to me. Even if it was temporary, it was still something. Anytime
I had to leave, it left me uneasy. Especially when I wasn’t in my own vehicle.
“I’m going to ask you something, love,” Barr said. “You’re going to hate me for it.”
“You really know how to charm a girl on a date, huh?” I asked.
“Not really a date when you already know the ending,” Barr said with a wink.
My cheeks warmed up.
Oh, really? You think you’re getting what you want tonight?
“What do you have to ask me, Barr?”
“How’s your mother?”
I turned my head and looked out the tinted window.
There was silence for a few seconds.
“See, I’m not afraid to ask questions, love. And keep asking questions. You know that though. So
you either tell me the truth or what you think I want to hear.”
I curled my lip.
“Why the hell do you care?” I asked. “You tried to hurt her worse than she already is.”
“Nah,” Barr said. “That was just me making sure we were on the same page.”
“Yeah? How about you just take me back home then. I don’t give a damn what you have to show
me.”
“You do,” Barr said. “I kind of hit home with the whole Mom thing, huh?”
I swallowed hard. “What is this? You want the truth? She’s a mess. She’s always been a mess.
And I have no idea what’s going to happen to her. The only reason I’m here is because me looking
safe makes it easier for her to deal with her own life.”
Barr nodded. He reached across the car to take my hand.
I wasn’t playing that game though.
I ripped my hand away.
“So I hit a nerve,” he said. “Rightfully so. It’s the same nerve to hit with me.”
“What?” I asked.
Barr looked forward, put both hands to the wheel, and smirked.
He sped up and then suddenly slowed.
He took a few random turns and we were then on some back street. Almost like an alley but
wider. There was a single light hanging above each door. It almost reminded me of some fantasy story
or whatever. Where you’d pick a door to another world or open a door to get a superpower.
Barr made one more right, and stopped.
“Here we are,” he said.
“What is this?”
“Are you afraid of dark alleyways, love?”
“Not even close,” I said. “This is like home to me.”
Barr laughed. “Ah, Tinsley… you’re making me love you. That’s dangerous.”
My eyes went wide as Barr opened the door and got out of the car.
I hurried to join him as he lit up another cigarette.
“You probably have a lot of questions,” he said. “We’ll get there. Now come with me.”
Barr put his hand out.
And this time I really had no choice but to take it.
 nine

B
winked.
arr made a fist and pounded on one of the black doors. It was a heavy, metal door, looking
damp and rusted.
He flicked his cigarette as far down the alley as he could and then looked at me and

The door opened a little.

“Yeah?” a deep voice said.
“Here to play,” Barr said.
The door shut, locks popped, and then it opened all the way.
A very tall man held the door and nodded to Barr. Then he nodded to me.
“She’s my guest,” Barr said. “She’s cool. No need to worry about us.”
I grabbed Barr’s hand with both of my hands. I got really close to him. My heart was racing.
“What is this?” I whispered.
My mind raced.
Was this some kind of poker thing? Gambling thing? Or worse?
The hallway was narrow and there was only one way to go.
Down.
As we walked down a set of steps, I heard what sounded like a trumpet.
And when the steps ended I turned and let out a gasp.
It was an underground music bar thing. Like a club. With small tables in the middle of the floor.
Booths on the walls. An actual bar at the bar. And then a stage on the opposite end of that.
Barr slipped his arm around me and pulled me close. “I get what you feel, love. You’re doing all
you can for your mother. Carrying that shit. Thinking if you could just give her one more chance, right?
And then she’ll be okay and you’ll be okay.”
“Barr…”
“I’ll get you a table,” he said.
“Me? What about you?”
Of course all Barr did was fucking smile at me.
He walked me to a table just to the left of the stage.
There were four chairs and a candle burning at the center of the table.
He pulled out a chair for me.
The man playing the trumpet hit one last note and held it.
And he kept holding it until everyone started to clap for him.
 Barr smashed his hands together like thunder and then stuck his fingers into his mouth and
whistled.
The trumpet playing stopped and a short, fat guy smoking a cigarette ran up on stage and grabbed a
microphone.
“Give it up for Benny,” he said.
Everyone cheered again.
Benny the trumpet player stepped off the stage and went right to Barr.
They hugged.
Benny was at least twice, maybe three times Barr’s age.
He was tall, skinny, messy hair, and had baggy clothes.
“How are you, my brother?” Benny asked.
“Good,” Barr said. “Sounded good up there.”
“Who is this here?” Benny asked.
They looked at me.
“Someone special,” Barr said.
“You’ve never brought anyone here before, Barr,” Benny said.
Now that was news to me.
I raised an eyebrow at Barr.
He winked.
Fuck.
Benny laughed a deep, frog sounding laugh and patted Barr’s shoulder.
He walked away and Barr pointed to someone.
I looked and saw a tall, beautiful woman rushing toward us.
“Haven’t seen you in forever,” she said, hugging Barr.
Kissing his cheek.
My hands went flat to the table and I was ready to stand up and throw a punch.
Calm down, Tinsley… this isn’t real. None of this is real.
“What do you want to drink, love?” Barr asked me.
“We have everything possible,” the woman said. “I’m Alex, by the way.”
“Tinsley,” I said.
We shook hands.
“Your name is cool as shit,” Alex said.
“Thanks.”
“So what are you drinking?”
“Soda is fine,” I said. “Cherry…?”
“You got it,” Alex said. “I’ll make something nice for you.”
Alex walked away and I looked up at Barr.
“Never brought anyone here before?” I asked.
“We’ll talk later, love,” Barr said. “I have something to do.”
He walked away.
My jaw dropped.
He brought me here to just ditch me?
I casually looked at my phone and saw I had zero service. Of course not, right? I would have to
walk out of this place and stand in a dark alleyway to call for help.
Better yet, who would I call?
 Gi? Beth?
Pres? Kip?
Or…
I had no idea where I was.
Of course I could find out on my phone.
But only if I went outside.
My eyes moved from my phone to Barr.
Wherever he walked, people talked to him. Yelled for him. Men shook his hand. Women hugged
him. He bumped into someone and the guy turned and they went chest to chest.
That’s when Alex appeared at the table.
“Here you go, Tinsley,” she said. “You’ll love it. Sweet and bubbly.”
“Is Barr okay?” I asked.
She looked and waved her hand. “Don’t worry about that. Just enjoy the drink and the music.”
“Okay,” I said. “Is it just trumpet players?”
“No,” Alex said. “Anyone who wants to play. Or sing. Or even read something.”
“What is this place?”
Alex laughed. “It doesn’t need a name.”
“Right,” I said. “Is Barr coming back?”
“Yeah,” Alex said. “Once he’s done.”
“Done?”
Alex half smirked. “He’s playing next.”

T he drink was excellent.

But I only took a sip when I was able to pick my jaw up off the table.
I stupidly didn’t even really look at the stage to realize there was a piano there.
When Barr walked up on the stage, he lifted a drink into the air and everyone clapped for him. He
looked right at me and winked.
Barr then sat behind the piano and hit a few random notes.
He put his drink on top of the piano and cracked his knuckles.
Then he started to play.
It was the same song he had been playing that night at Claire’s. Note for note, played to
perfection, the classical piece silenced the entire crowd. He kept his head down as he played, sitting
sideways so I was able to see his fingers touching the keys.
This wasn’t something you learned in a week or even a year.
This was something you did for a long time. Something you worked your ass off to learn. And
beyond just being able to play the piano there was something about the way he did it…
Barr walked his left hand down the piano keys where the sound was deep and growling. He took
a drink with his right hand and quickly changed the song. It went from this slow, masterful classical
piece to this fast, choppy, jazz sounding thing. So fast and so brutal on the keys, it was impossible to
not bob your head up and down, following the notes, secretly waiting for him to lose the song or lose
a note, but he never did.
Then Barr started to nod his head, getting into it.
 Playing faster. Making sounds from the piano that I wasn’t sure could happen.
He then started crossing his hands back and forth over one another.
And if that wasn’t enough, Barr stood up, sending the piano bench over on its side.
Everyone erupted into cheers and claps for him.
Then he stopped.
Just completely stopped.
“Benny!” he yelled. “Bobby!”
Barr picked up where he left off.
I watched then as Benny got back up on stage with his trumpet. And another guy - Bobby - carried
a gigantic bass or cello or whatever.
Barr slowed the song down and nodded to them.
The three started to play a wildly catchy jazz song like they had been playing together all their
lives.
People clapped again.
My jaw dropped again.
I couldn’t catch my breath at the sight of this.
Barr… the badass dickhead who was part of the Rulz. The guy who had people fearing him on a
daily basis. The guy who put his foot through a guitar because the guitar player didn’t play a song fast
enough. The asshole who threatened to close down Mom’s rehab center because I wouldn’t kiss him.
That same guy was on stage at an underground music club, playing piano.
And he wanted me to see this.
He brought me here to show me.
And it was really cool.
The jazz song came to an end and Benny and Bobby left the stage to applause.
Barr kept playing with his right hand as he crouched, reached back, and picked up the piano stool.
He sat down and segued back into the classical sounding music.
His fingers worked up the piano to the higher notes and then back down to the other side.
Barr hit one last note and stopped.
He stood, grabbed his drink, and nodded.
The place exploded one more time with applause.
Everyone stood up.
So I stood up.
Barr didn’t walk off the stage either. He simply stepped off the front of the stage and walked right
to me. I was so caught up in the moment I reached for his face and grabbed him. His hands grabbed
my sides and he lifted me off my feet.
My heart pounded inside my chest as I stared into his honey gold eyes.
I was lost in them.
Not far.
But enough.
Barr pressed his lips to mine and my heart felt like it exploded worse than the applause in the
underground club.
All I could think about was Barr carrying me away to some secret room to do whatever he wanted
to do. Everything about him oozed a sense of coolness that he tried to hide for whatever reason. What
I had seen with the piano, the music, and the underground club made the smoking make more sense.
On top of everything else about Barr.
 He kissed me harder.
I kissed him back even harder.
But then Barr was suddenly gone.
I dropped down and missed the ground somehow and fell back.
I hit the table and pain shot through my hip.
I spilled my drink, stepped on an ice cube, and ended up on my ass again.
Barr wasn’t there to save me.
Because Barr was now in a bar fight.

I t was the guy he had gone chest to chest with before.

He had Barr pressed against a wall and landed a punch to Barr’s jaw.
I hurried to grab at the edge of the table to get back to my feet.
Barr grabbed the guy by the shirt and threw him back. The guy tried to throw another punch but
Barr blocked it. Barr punched the guy in the gut, making him bend over. Then Barr grabbed the guy by
his shirt and jeans and threw him at the wall. The guy hit with a hard thud and stumbled back. He
turned and wasn’t done fighting yet. Offering another punch, he clipped Barr on the cheek. That only
pissed Barr off even more. He went after the guy again.
“Let me clean that up,” a voice said.
It was Alex with a towel, wiping up the spilled soda.
“What is this?” I asked her.
“Typical,” she said. “You better get ready to go, though. Hank won’t let him hang around after
this.”
“Hank?” I asked.
“The guy who owns this place.”
“Oh. Right. How much for the drink then?”
“Nothing,” Alex said.
“What?”
“Just get Barr and get him out of here.”
Barr and the guy were still tangled up as I took a few steps.
How the hell could I break up a fight like this?
I stood a few feet away from Barr and the guy as they traded more blows. Finally, Barr got a hold
of the guy’s shirt and threw him toward the stage. The guy landed on the stage and stayed there, taking
deep breaths.
Barr looked at me and smiled.
“Barr?” I asked.
“I think we should go,” he said.
“You think?” I asked.
“I think so,” Barr said. “Come on, love, let’s get out of here.”
He reached for my hand.
I heard someone scream his name and that made Barr move faster.
I could only assume that it was Hank yelling.
We ran together, hand in hand, Barr looking back at me, smiling and even laughing as we made our
way back up the steps toward the door to the alley.
Barr pointed to the door. “Hey, Tommy, open that for me?”
The tall guy who opened the door for us shook his head as he opened it again.
“See you around, Barr,” his deep voice growled.
We blasted through the open door and into the alley, Barr laughing his ass off while I couldn’t find
a breath to talk. The door behind me shut and locked.
“What the hell was that?” I yelled at Barr.
He let my hand go and reached for my face.
Our lips smashed together, led by him as he drove me back until I was against whatever building
it was that stood there in the alley with the underground club.
Barr kissed me hard and fast again.
But it was short lived.
When he pulled away I licked my lips and tasted blood.
It wasn’t my blood though.
It was his blood.
I wasn’t sure if I had ever been so turned on in my life before.
My chin started to quiver and I forgot all about what tonight was really about.
“Richy will come after me if we don’t leave, love,” Barr said.
“Okay,” I said.
“It’s fine, Tinsley,” Barr said in the sincerest voice I ever heard him speak in. “It’s all fine.”
He took my hand, his fingers interlocked into mine, and we got the hell out of there.
We didn’t run but we walked pretty damn fast to get back to his car.
He opened the passenger side door for me and stopped me before I could get into the car.
“I’ve never brought anyone here,” he whispered. “Not even Pres or Kip. Nobody knows about
this place. Except you.”
I swallowed hard.
I didn’t know what to say.
Barr kissed my cheek. I smelled sweat, smoke, and blood.
This guy was a total badass.
Dangerous in a way that was too wild to be real.
But it was all real.
I climbed into the car and waited for Barr to do the same.
He quickly took off from the alleyway and got onto some main roads, checking his mirror a few
times.
“You think we’re being followed?” I asked, my heart fluttering at the sense of danger.
“Nah,” he said. “Richy wouldn’t go that far for it.”
“Why did that guy hit you?” I asked.
Barr smirked and didn’t answer me.
“Are you hungry, love?” he asked.
“Actually, I am.”
“Good.”
Barr hit the gas pedal harder and the car sped up instantly. I lived through that whole pressure on
my chest feeling from the speed. But I also had to endure Barr reaching across the seat, touching my
leg, making it well known there were thoughts and intentions on his mind.
I reminded myself a hundred times of their stupid bet.
 Even still…
I glanced down at Barr’s hand dancing up and down my leg. Gently flirting as it moved a little bit
more toward my inner thigh again and again.
He took his hand away when we cruised through some drive-thru place to get food. He ordered
cheeseburgers, fries, sodas, and milkshakes.
He didn’t even ask what I wanted.
After paying, he drove another minute or so before pulling over into a parking lot to a building
that stood tall and wide against the night sky, not a single light on in the place.
“Trespassing?” I asked.
Barr turned his head. “I own it.”
“What?”
“One of my buildings.”
“Your buildings?” I asked.
“Call me whatever you want, love, but I’m not living on my parents dime forever,” Barr said with
a wink.
He got out of the car and I joined him. He lit up a cigarette and put his food on the hood of the car.
The way he parked, the headlights reflected just enough to give us light to see each other and our
food.
I dug into my food because all the adrenaline had left me starving. Not to mention the way Barr
made me feel. My mind and body were tired already.
“My mother had a drinking problem,” Barr said. He took one last drag of his cigarette and tossed
it. Then he grabbed a milkshake. “A bad one.”
“Oh?”
“She was in show business when she was young,” Barr said. “Was smart, funny, pretty, and
talented as hell. She threw it all away.”
“Wow.”
“It was her own fault. Getting tied up with my old man the way she did. He was at one of her
shows and he approached her. Rich, handsome dude with the beautiful artist. So fucking cliché,
right?”
“Maybe.”
“She got knocked up and here I am,” Barr said.
“How family friendly.”
“Yeah right,” Barr said. “My old man wanted a trophy. And the second I popped out, my mother
started drinking. And her only dream was to make me into the star she never became. My old man
liked the idea of me being beaten and tied to a piano.” Barr took a big gulp of his milkshake. “I guess
you could say I was a wild child.”
“Was?” I asked.
“I was tossed into that shit and never wanted it,” Barr said. “But I did it. And my mother swears
the first time she heard me play an actual song without needing help or needing the music, it made her
want to get sober. So she did.”
“She was drinking…”
“There’s a difference between her having a few drinks with Claire and what she used to do,” Barr
said.
“Right. Sorry.”
Barr put his empty milkshake cup on the ground. “She gave up anything related to her past life and
dove head first into my old man’s real estate gig. She could act her heart out to close deals and that
made her filthy rich.”
“And you stuck with the piano?”
“Something to kill the time, love,” Barr said. “But I let my parents down when I told them to go
fuck themselves when they wanted me to go to some music school. I’m doing this shit on my own
terms now.”
“So that’s where the underground thing came from?”
Barr nodded. “I got into some trouble at one point and had to attend a different school. Don’t ask.
Met some guys and through some friends of friends I hooked up with Benny. Poor as shit, blowing on
his trumpet on a street corner, hoping to make enough for a meal. He knew Hank and he would play
underground just for the sake of music. That’s how I got tied into it.”
I shook my head.
I was in disbelief.
This kind of story hiding behind those honey gold eyes. And yet on the outside he was such a…
a… fucking asshole.
“So I guess my point, love, is that I get how the parent thing goes,” Barr said. “Leaning on you.
Pushing at you. Whether you’re rich or poor. But sometimes you have to make your own decisions and
path.”
“I’m sure it helps when you have some money in your pocket first though,” I said.
Barr reached into his pocket and then threw money across the hood of the car at me. It was a lot of
money. More than I had ever seen before in my life.
I lifted an eyebrow. “No thanks, Barr.”
I turned and let out a deep breath and got back into the car.
Barr collected the cash and swept the bags of food and drinks off the hood of the car.
Littering in the parking lot that he owned.
How fitting.
When Barr got into the car, I reached for his hand.
“Look at me,” I said.
He turned his head. “Yeah?”
“Your face okay?”
“I’ll never be as pretty as you, love, but I’ll be fine.”
Barr leaned toward me.
I hurried to meet him.
This time when we kissed it was different.
It was that kind of kiss. The one where you knew things were going to lead somewhere else. And
Barr had a nice backseat. And we were in a private spot that he owned. Nobody could bother us.
Nobody could stop us either.
His left hand touched my face and moved down. As he moved over my chest, I let out a sighing
breath into his mouth. His hand then moved down, playing with the bottom of my shirt. I slowly
shifted myself, putting my butt flat against the seat of the car and leaning back, lifting my hips.
The kiss broke and Barr ran his lips along the curve of my neck.
I let out another breath and felt his fingertips at the top of my pants.
My phone started to ring.
No, no, no, no…
And I couldn’t ignore the ring tone.
 Because it was Claire.
But I couldn’t reach for my phone.
I was frozen in place, trapped in this crazy moment with Barr.
The phone stopped ringing.
But a few moments later, a text came through.
I managed to lean forward enough and read the screen.
“Oh, shit, Barr,” I said. “I have to get home right now.”
“No you don’t, love,” he whispered into my ear.
“Yes, I do.” I turned my head and locked eyes with him. “Claire was in a car accident.”

B arr drove faster than he had all night.

We were back at Claire’s in no time. My stomach was in a tight knot for about fifteen
reasons, including the way Barr drove. That car was fast and dangerous… almost like Barr tonight.
He sped up the driveway to drop me off and I reached for his hand again.
“Sorry about this,” I whispered.
“No worries, love,” he said. “Hope Claire is okay.”
“You mean that?”
“Fifty-fifty,” he said with a grin.
“Hey. You never told me why that guy went after you.”
“You really want to know why, love?” Barr asked.
“Yes.”
“I fucked his girlfriend.”
“What?”
“You heard me. He’s a lowlife bartender. I think he deals weed too. His girlfriend is gorgeous.
Can sing for days. She deserved better.”
“And you were better?”
“No. I was the excuse she needed to get away.”
“So you slept with some beautiful woman so her boyfriend would dump her?”
“And people think I’m not charitable, huh?”
I pulled away from Barr. “That’s disgusting.”
“I don’t know about that, love,” he said. “You were pretty close to giving me the same thing she
did…”
I thought about punching him.
But he’d only like that.
“Never,” I said. “And just when I thought you could be human…”
“You better go check on Claire,” Barr said with a wink.
I got out of his car and slammed the door as hard as I could.
For a second, I wished I had a screwdriver so I could leave him a little love letter of fuck you
scratched into the side of his six figure ride.
Barr took off, leaving me standing there breathless one more time for the night.
I heard the front door to the house open and I turned to see who it was.
When I saw Claire, I almost let out a scream.
 ten

C laire looked terrible.

And I meant that in the nicest way possible.
There were cuts and bruises all over her face.
Yet she found a way to stand in the doorway elegantly, wearing a silk robe, holding a gigantic
glass of wine.
“Claire…”
“Sorry to ruin your night,” she said.
“Nothing was ruined,” I said.
In fact, in a way, Claire had saved the night. She had saved me.
I had been seriously thinking thoughts about Barr… and if my cell hadn’t rung…
For me to only find out the truth as to why that guy wanted to fight him. And you know what? Barr
deserved to get his ass kicked. I almost wished the fight hadn’t stopped. I regretted worrying about the
hits he took. And kissing him. And letting him touch me.
I shook the thoughts away and caught myself needing to hug Claire.
My arms wrapped around her and she hugged me back.
“It’s okay,” she whispered. “I just needed to know you were safe, too.”
“Me? Why me?”
“Paranoia,” she said. “Anxiety. I got into an accident and all I could think about was you getting
into an accident.”
“Oh, Claire,” I said.
She smiled. “I feel like a mother.”
“Well, you kind of are to me right now,” I said.
My chin started to quiver again.
Stupid, Ti…
“Oh, Tinsley,” Claire said.
She touched my cheek and I started to cry.
She wrapped her arms around me again.
She then walked me into the dimly lit kitchen.
There was a wine bottle on the counter.
“You can have a glass,” she said.
“No, thanks,” I said.
“Right.”
 “Claire, what happened?”
“I took the convertible out,” she said. “Nice day and night for a little ride. Met up with two
friends for a drink and something to eat.” She put her hand out. “Just one small glass of wine. Before
you also question me.”
“Also?”
“The police always ask if someone has been drinking,” Claire said.
“Oh. Right.”
“It wasn’t that at all,” Claire said. “I respect what they have to do though. I know most of the cops
anyway. They know me.”
“So what happened?”
“It was just an accident, Tinsley,” Claire said. “Nothing exciting.”
“Your face suggests a different story, Claire,” I said.
“Well, that’s the worst of it. I mean, this looks so much worse than it really is. I guess being in the
convertible… getting hit and getting smashed around. With the top down. The wind. Glass. You
know?”
I nodded, but I really had no clue what she was talking about. I was never in a car accident before
(knock on wood) so I wasn’t sure if being in a convertible would make things worse or not.
“I’m so sorry, Claire,” I said. “I mean… I’m just trying to absorb this right now.”
“Don’t. I’m almost sorry for calling you. Bothering you. I just… panicked.”
“No, I’m glad you did call,” I said. I approached her again. My eyes filled with tears. “I don’t
think I can lose you.”
“Oh, Tinsley,” Claire said.
She grabbed my arms and we hugged again.
And we actually cried together.
Claire holding me.
The thought of her… dying… I couldn’t imagine it. Losing her. And then losing everything in
BFH. I’d be tossed to the street in a heartbeat, left with nothing. Without Claire paying for the rehab,
Mom would get right out and go right back to the stuff she swore she’d never go near again. It would
be a giant, black hole of spiraling sadness.
And that’s why I cried on Claire’s shoulder.
Until she finally broke the hug and held my face. “I should have taken you, Tinsley. I should have
taken you and kept you for myself.”
I laughed. “What?”
“When your mother left… she was so lost and we got so close. I really thought about it. But then
something in me…” Claire took a breath and sighed. “Wow. I never talk like this.”
“A car crash and wine will do that to you,” I said.
“I suppose so. But, hey, tonight… we’re alive. And well. Cuts will heal. Bruises will fade. It’s
what’s in our eyes that matters.”
That right there was more sound advice and wisdom than anything my mother had ever said to me.
Ever. In my entire life.
“If you need anything, Claire…”
“It’s okay. I already made a call and got checked out. They wanted me to get into a goddamn
ambulance. Like hell. I’m not showing that kind of weakness. I’ll walk my ass home if need be.”
“I don’t know if that means you’re strong or stubborn.”
“Neither do I,” Claire said with a smile.
 She kissed my cheek and walked away.
My heart didn’t know what to do. Race. Pound. Sink. Swim. Explode.
But everyone was okay.
Claire was okay.
I was okay.
Close calls, sure, but we were still standing.
For some reason I never felt so close to Claire as I did then.
I went out back and stood at the pool, watching the water gently dance. I sent Gi a text that my
date with Barr was a bust.
She wrote back a letter V with a question mark.
I wrote back with a X.
Meaning nothing had happened between Barr and me.
Iris said ur a prude 4 real!
I laughed.
I bit my lip.
Tell Iris I said she can go screw a screwdriver
I walked from the pool to the side of the house.
There was a side door that went into the garage.
This wasn’t some normal garage though.
It was a fucking house in itself.
And Claire had herself a nice little collection of cars.
Well, now it was minus one.
I put my hand to the door when my phone buzzed again.
Iris said at least she was still gettin sum. lol
“Bitch,” I whispered.
I didn’t bother responding.
I’d catch them tomorrow.
I opened the garage door and stepped inside.
I heard the click and a light turned on.
That was followed by a series of lights.
It was a breathtaking sight.
But when I lost my breath, it was for a totally different reason.
I pointed as though someone was with me.
And I pointed right to a convertible.
The convertible.
The one Claire said she had crashed.
Better yet… there wasn’t a missing car from the garage at all.
I swallowed hard, closing my eyes, opening them again, making sure my mind wasn’t messing
with me.
It wasn’t.
Every single one of Claire’s cars were in the garage.
Yet her face looked the way it did.
Which meant one thing…
Claire looked me in the eyes, cried, and lied to me.
I realized how much I really enjoyed sleep only when I wasn’t able to sleep. Even in that huge bed
in the huge bedroom. With every possible blanket, sheet and pillow, leaving me feeling not too
warm, not too cold, almost like sleeping on a cloud or whatever stupid thing rich people would
describe it as… it still wasn’t enough.
Hours ticked by and when I did shut my eyes I heard the sound of Barr playing piano. And I
pictured Claire getting into a car accident. Both things did not make sense to me. That Barr had so
much hidden talent like he did. And somehow that underground music club was his outlet in a way.
Then he still fooled around with someone’s girlfriend. Which wasn’t my business. Richy should have
kept punching him in the face. What bothered me was the sense of jealousy that I went through. I
didn’t want to be jealous of Barr and someone else together. It had been just tonight.
Just the night.
Getting caught up in the whole scene.
Caught up in Barr showing himself to me in a way he hadn’t done with anyone else.
And in the same breath, Claire too.
She wasn’t one to reveal herself as hurt. Being hurt for Claire was a weakness. That much I
always knew about her. Even when I was little, I could remember her always being this super cold
bitch in front of people but then if it was just her, Mom, and me in the apartment Claire owned, her
tone would change. She’d become sympathetic. A little.
But seeing Claire after the car accident tonight…
Or whatever it was.
That made me roll over, groan, and pull the covers over my head all the way.
The convertible was perfectly intact.
I saw it with my own eyes.
And on top of that, I came so close to doing something with Barr. Something that would have
changed all of our lives. Not my first time, but the time that would shake the world inside of BFH.
I eventually did sleep but not nearly long enough.
My eyes opened again and I was in the exact same position.
My typical morning routine included walking to the window to look at the ocean for a second. My
subtle way of reminding myself all of this was actually happening and not some kind of crazy dream.
Downstairs, there was fresh coffee, fresh fruit, and the sweet and salty smell colliding of
pancakes and bacon. A massive breakfast, as always.
Claire walked through the kitchen, dressed like a calculated bitch ready to take down an entire
company. Complete with large, black sunglasses on her face which helped to cover up some of the
marks. She had a bag hooked on the bend of her elbow as she walked by me.
“Morning,” I said.
“Help is here if you need anything today,” she said in a monotone voice. “I’ll be busy today and
late tonight. You’re on your own.”
She breezed right by me.
I wiped crusted sleep from the corners of my eyes and asked for coffee.
It was like being at a restaurant.
I wasn’t allowed to go near the coffee, the fridge or the stove.
People were paid to do that for me.
 Still very weird to experience.
I took my coffee to the front door and opened it a little.
There was a white SUV waiting for Claire, the back door open.
She stood at the front of it though, looking toward the garage.
I stepped out of the house and couldn’t believe my eyes.
There was a beat up tow truck sitting there.
With a car on the flatbed behind it.
The convertible.
Except the car now was beat up. Heavily beat up. The driver’s side was all smashed in. The
windows taken right off. The top down. The windshield smashed a little bit and crooked. The airbags
deployed, looking like off white blankets hanging from the inside of the car.
“What the…”
Claire started to turn and I quickly moved back into the house.
I held my breath as long as I could.
Which wasn’t very long.
I sipped the ultra-delicious coffee.
I peeked back outside and the white SUV was gone.
Which meant Claire was gone.
The tow truck was gone too.
I snuck to the garage and saw that the convertible was indeed gone.
I had no idea what Claire was up to.
She looked like she had gotten into an accident. Or something of the like. She lied to me about her
car. Then she had the car towed. But the car now did look like it had been in an accident.
So either Claire was really good at lying or my eyes were playing tricks on me.
One truth I could hold onto though…
BFH was starting to make living dirty and poor feel like normal and okay.

“T“See
here she is,” Iris said with a big grin. “Let’s see it.”
what?” I asked.
“Your V-card,” Iris said. “See if that hole got punched. Get it?”
“Is she really dumb or what?” I asked Gi. “Does she not get that it’s already been punched?”
“I’m not dumb, Ti,” Iris said. “But if you don’t use it, the hole closes back up.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I yelled at Iris.
Her eyes went wide and she stepped back.
A few people around us started looking.
Gi touched my arm. “Whoa. Are you okay?”
“No,” I said. “Last night… this place…”
“Eating you alive,” Iris said. “That happens when you get too involved.”
“Iris, just shut up for a second,” Gi said.
“Let me ask you something,” I said. “What do you know about Claire?”
“Claire?” Gi asked. “Not much. You probably know more. You live with her. And you’ve known
her since you were little. Right?”
 “Not much about her from when I was little,” I said. “Other than her kicking us out. Which was my
mother’s fault. I’m just talking right now. Who she is. What she does.”
“Everyone knows what Claire does,” Iris said.
“Yeah,” I said. “Right.”
“Did something happen?” Gi asked.
“I don’t know. I’m freaking myself out. Claire got into an accident last night. That’s why my night
with Barr ended when it did. Which was a good thing.”
“You were totally going to screw him,” Iris said.
“I don’t know,” I said.
“Wow,” Gi said. “That would have made today really interesting.”
“It didn’t happen,” I growled.
“Hey, it’s okay,” Gi said, rubbing my arm. “I mean, I know what you’re trying to do here, Ti. What
you want the Rulz to feel. Make sure you protect yourself too though.”
“I am,” I said. “I just didn’t expect to see Claire like that. Maybe this sounds greedy but if
something goes wrong with Claire, I’m gone.”
“Aw, you don’t want to leave us,” Iris said. “You love us.”
She put her arms around me from behind and hugged me.
I gritted my teeth.
Gi started to smile.
“We love you so much, Ti-bug,” Iris said.
She started kissing my hair, hugging me tighter.
“Our little Ti-bug almost lost her cherry,” Iris teased.
I started to laugh. “Can I hurt her?” I asked Gi.
“Be my guest,” Gi said.
“Oh, come on, Ti-bug, don’t be like that,” Iris said.
Iris finally let me go and I turned to put my back against the locker.
“Maybe you’re right,” I said. “Maybe I secretly love it here. But I know I don’t belong here. That
I’m only here as a favor to my mother. So I never know when my last day will be.”
“That’s deep,” Gi said.
“Kind of what Barr could have been,” Iris said. “Deep.”
I looked at Iris. “Why don’t you just go and be with him then?”
“Maybe I already have,” Iris said.
“What?” I asked, jumping from the locker.
“She’s messing around,” Gi said.
“Am I though?” Iris asked.
The same sense of jealousy hit me as it did in Barr’s car when he told me about Richy’s
girlfriend. Which meant what? That I was actually starting to like Barr? That I had real feelings for
him?
No way, Ti. No way in hell…
“Ignore her,” Gi said. “She’ll say anything to get you pissed off.”
“Looks like it doesn’t take much,” Iris said. “My little Ti-bug.”
“Watch yourself, my little I-don’t-know-when-to-shut-my-fucking-mouth-so-I-got-my-jaw-
wired-shut-for-free…”
Iris grinned. “Nice.”
“You two are too much,” Gi said.
 “No,” Iris said. “What’s too much is the way a certain someone is staring Ti down right now.
Don’t turn around too fast, you might get dizzy.”
I tried to do the casual turn your head thing to look, but whatever.
The Rulz were waiting for me.
“See you later,” I said to Gi and Iris.
“Want me to come with you?” Gi offered.
“Why? So you could pee yourself when they talk to you?” I asked.
“Cold,” Gi whispered.
“And that ain’t pee either,” Iris said.
“Ew, no way,” Gi said to Iris. “I’m not you.”
I had to walk away from them. I had no idea if Iris was just messing with me or if she really had
messed around with Barr or maybe even all three.
My eyes went right to Barr.
That honey gold stare that almost won me over last night.
Fucking jerk.
“How was your night, sugar?” Pres asked.
“Not bad,” I said. “Nothing quite like watching Barr getting his ass kicked.”
“I didn’t get my ass kicked,” Barr said. “Just a minor scuffle.”
“Because you slept with someone’s girlfriend,” I blurted out.
They all laughed.
“Well, damn,” Kip said, “I think we’re all guilty as charged there.”
Anger attacked my gut.
I felt sick.
I missed home. My real home. Not my fake home.
Dammit… I was starting to miss Mom.
It was almost easier to live with her drug problem than live with the Rulz.
“Glad you made it here safe, love,” Barr said.
“Why wouldn’t I make it here safe?” I asked.
“Figured you would have been up all night dreaming about what could have been,” he said.
“Or maybe celebrating an avoided mistake,” I said.
Barr laughed.
It was like nothing could get to him.
For a second I thought about telling Pres and Kip about Barr’s secret place to play piano. But
would that really matter?
No.
Not to them.
“Maybe soon we can finish what we started,” Barr said. “Take you out for another night.”
“I’ll check my schedule,” I said.
“You better get to class, sugar,” Pres said. “Hate to see you late and in trouble.”
“Yeah, right,” I said.
“No, I mean it,” Pres said. “Staying out late with Barr. Getting too close to fights. Sipping a little
too much on the beach. Getting extra attitude with us today. You’re changing right before our eyes,
Tinsley Ditkiss.”
“Is that a problem?” I asked.
Pres touched my chin. “Never. Change is good. But what doesn’t change is what I want.”
 Pres pushed from the wall and walked away.
Barr followed him, looking at me, winking with that cocky grin that made me angry in my mind
and turned me on somewhere else.
When Kip walked by, he leaned down toward me.
His bright blue eyes and bad boy smile made me feel safe and excited. Which wasn’t the truth at
all.
“My turn, girl,” he whispered.
“What?”
Kip brushed his lips to my cheek and laughed.
He walked away, casually looking back a few times.
His turn?
For what?
To try and close the deal with me?
I laughed as the hallway emptied for good.
Then I started to jog to get to class on time.
They could keep pushing at me all they wanted.
But each time they spoke I got a little more truth.
And soon enough, my truth would out do anything they had to offer.
 eleven

bleachers
super important
don’t tell anyone else
please
i trust you with this

T hat was the note left in my locker after class one day.

Iris.
I…?
Then it hit me.

Which was weird. Iris and I had never had a private conversation. Or even a really serious
conversation. Sure there were times when things teetered on being serious or whatever, but it wasn’t
like we were trading off our deepest and darkest fears.
We weren’t best friends. I wasn’t even sure if we were regular friends.
She was close with Gi and I was a friend of Gi’s.
I looked around the hallway after I read the letter.
Maybe something was going on with Gi and Iris didn’t know what to do. Or maybe there really
was something important with Iris and she felt safe with me? Maybe because I was the new girl or the
temporary girl or whatever my title actually was in the social world of BFH.
“Another present?”
I shut my locker and tucked the note into my pocket.
“Hey, Beth,” I said. “No presents today.”
“No thongs or dirty toys?” she asked.
“Hardly,” I said. “What’s up with you?”
“Nothing. What are you doing after class today?”
“I, uh, I don’t know,” I said. “I mean, I’m meeting up with someone.”
“Someone? Does this someone have a name?”
 “Not what you think,” I said. “But, hey, I know it’s not my business, but what is the deal with you
and Gi and Iris?”
Beth’s face dropped. “Look, Ti, I would never put you in position to choose your friends. That’s
not me. But I’ll never be friends with those two ever again.”
Ever again?
“I was just…”
“No offense, but you were right when you said it’s not your business. Because it isn’t.”
“Okay,” I said. “Sorry I asked. I will never bring it up again.”
“Yes, you will,” Beth said. “I don’t blame you. Someday you’ll get the story. And then I’ll tell you
the truth.”
She winked and turned on her heels and took off.
I gave a quick wave and my eyes went right for the door.
I touched my pocket, feeling the note.
Iris wants to talk to me?
It was way too weird to not go to the bleachers and figure out what this was.
Even if she was playing some stupid joke on me just to be a bigger bitch than she already was.
Because if that was the case, I could do a little note slipping of my own into her locker.
I walked alone to the bleachers, keeping my eyes out for Gi.
The note said nothing about Gi so I didn’t want to run into her and screw up whatever Iris wanted.
Which made me wonder if it was Gi’s birthday soon or something.
And Iris wanted to plan a party.
All that did though was make my stomach flip and my heart hurt.
I didn’t know their birthdays. They didn’t know mine.
But I knew Ruby’s.
September 17th.
I knew Amelia’s.
March 3rd.
And I even remembered Devin’s (of course)… December 27th.
Those were locked in my memory probably forever.
Yet my new best friends… I had no clue when their birthdays were.
I climbed the bleachers feeling sad and alone.
I sat about halfway up and looked around at the perfectly manicured football field. There were
two guys throwing a ball in the one end zone. I didn’t recognize them. I hadn’t heard much from the
fallout over the HCH vs BFH football game turned fight. In fact, things were really quiet about HCH
lately. I wasn’t sure if that was normal or not.
I chewed on my lip until it hurt.
I chewed on my fingernails but that was boring.
I scrolled through my phone.
I felt like texting Iris just to see where she was.
As my thumb moved over her name, I heard a thud and looked down.
I stood up.
I touched the note in my pocket.
“Hey, you showed up…”
I swallowed hard.
It wasn’t Iris who wanted me to meet her at the bleachers.
I pulled the note out of my pocket as Kip walked up the bleachers toward me.
My heart raced and sank at the same time. That made my stomach tingle. Not butterflies. Not
fear. Not worry. But a feeling.
It was the way Kip always looked at me.
The bright color of his blue eyes and the way he always casually smirked at me. Like he knew
something about me. Or he was just that confident about me and him together. Like he wasn’t worried
for a second about Pres or Barr.
That made him hotter.
It also helped that he wore sleeveless shirts and his arms were tanned and toned. Everything about
him screamed surfer boy and maybe that was wrong just to assume something about Kip like that
considering I had never seen him surf. In fact the only time I saw him in the ocean was the night of
their party and when he carried me into the water.
“What is this?” I asked, waving the note. “I thought something was wrong. I thought it was
serious.”
“Whoa, calm down, girl,” Kip said. “It is serious. And there is something wrong.”
“You really wrote this?”
“Typed it up, yes,” Kip said.
“What is the i for then?” I asked.
Kip was one row down from me. He was eye level with me.
Damn his eyes.
Damn his smile.
The world of Pres and Barr was dark and scary.
Kip’s was bright and freeing.
That made him worse because I knew Kip had a dark side too. I had seen him in the ditch. I had
seen what he was capable of doing.
Which meant more than with the others I couldn’t fall for the look of the pretty boy surfer.
“Oh, that,” Kip said. “The i was for… I. As in me. Me being Kip.”
“What?” I yelled.
“Or… I fucked up,” Kip said. “Got a pen?”
I stupidly dug through my bag for a pen.
Kip took the pen and the note and plopped down on the bleachers.
He put a K in front of the i and then a p after it.
“There,” he said. “It’s fixed now.”
He looked up at me with that smirk.
I ripped the note out of his hand. Now the note said it was from Kip.
“So funny,” I said. “You set me up. You tricked me to be here.”
“And here you are, girl,” he said. “Here I am too.”
“Like fate, huh?”
“I love fate,” Kip said. He stood back up and stepped up to my level, now taller than me. “I
fucking love fate.”
“So what’s so super important you needed me here?” I asked. “Or what’s so serious? What’s
wrong with you?”
 Kip started to walk up the bleachers. “Come for a walk.”
I turned my head and saw how tall the bleachers went.
Fun fact - I hated heights.
And that meant knee shaking, sweating, thinking the worst thoughts ever kind of fear. Now, on a
set of bleachers all I could picture was the bleachers falling. Some kind of freak accident, collapsing
to the ground in a wreck of twisted, deadly metal. Dying that kind of death at BFH.
Kip paused and looked back at me. “I’ll just start talking. Whether you’re here or not.”
I slowly shook my head.
Jerk off. Moron.
I climbed the bleachers, slowly, but at least I was doing it.
Kip went right to the top.
Of course he did.
He turned and leaned against the railing.
It made my body tingle with panic for him.
Now, these weren’t normal bleachers. This place - the field and bleachers - could probably
withstand a hurricane, tornado, earthquake, or whatever else Mother Nature could muster up and
throw at it.
Even still, these reminded me of cheap bleachers that made that echoing ping sound when you
walked on them.
I climbed to one level lower than Kip and folded my arms.
“Now what?” I asked. “You going to jump.”
“If it gets me alone with you, I would.”
“What?”
“You and me, girl. I can’t have Barr walking around bragging about taking you out. It’s driving me
crazy.”
“Jealous?” I asked.
Kip stepped down and put his fingertips to my arms like he had done before. My skin tightened
and broke out in goosebumps.
He lowered his mouth toward mine but stopped with a few inches to spare.
“One thousand percent fucking jealous, girl,” Kip whispered.
He brushed his lips to mine and then slowly sat down. Still reaching for my arms, fingertips
moving up and down.
My lips ached for more.
My mind raced as fast as my heart.
I’m this girl now? Freely kissing them whenever I want? Making out with Barr in his car.
Kissing Kip on the bleachers. Wonder what I’ll end up doing with Pres then…
Kip moved his fingers to my hands and curled his fingers around mine and pulled me toward him.
It was in such a hot and commanding position.
Holding hands.
Me towering over him.
His legs open.
Knowing that in one quick move I could be straddling him right there on the bleachers.
I was on fire.
Maybe worse than with Barr.
Which made me want to feel wrong about it but I didn’t.
 Nothing really made me feel wrong anymore.
Not since coming to BFH. Not since getting involved with the Rulz.
Kip slid his hands from mine and put his elbows on the seats above him and leaned back.
“Why don’t you sit somewhere, girl?” he asked. “So we can chat.”
He wanted me to do what was going through my head.
Instead, I sat down right where I was.
Keeping my legs closed super tight, my elbows on my knees, casually trying to bite my bottom lip
because everything inside me was going crazy.
“I don’t really give a shit about you and Barr hanging,” Kip said. “There’s no beef there with us.
Just know that. No jealousy within our group. We don’t roll like that.”
“Okay,” I said.
“But that still doesn’t take away the fact of what I want.”
“Which is what?”
Kip pushed from the bleachers and leaned toward me. He put his hands to my legs.
“You, girl. I want you.”
“Want… me…?”
“Have something to show you,” he said.
“Oh?”
“See, I could lie to you right now. I could tell you something sweet. Like what you think you know
about me… about us… that you’re wrong. That it’s not what you see or what you think. That it’s all
different. Okay?”
I nodded. “Okay… but that’s a lie.”
“Exactly. Because what you see is the truth. The fucking truth, girl.”
“And that doesn’t scare me as much as you think it does,” I said.
Kip booped his pointer finger on my nose. “Now look who’s the one lying.”
I pulled back. “I’m not lying.”
“Right. Convince yourself of that. So here’s the deal. I want to show you something. Take you
somewhere. Just you and me, girl.”
“So you want to take me out on a date too?”
“Not a date,” Kip said. “I don’t date.”
“You don’t date?” I asked, laughing. “Then what do you do?”
Kip leaned closer to me again. “I like to surf and I like to fuck.”
Before I could come up with anything that resembled a response to that, Kip kissed me.
His lips tasted so fucking good.
I shut my eyes and begged my heart to tell my mind and my body to pull away.
But I didn’t pull away.
I grabbed Kip’s shirt – wanting more.

H is hands touched my sides, his thumbs pressing hard just under my breasts, over my shirt. My
back was so straight and stiff that it started to hurt. And the sound of our lips and tongues
enjoying themselves was almost too much for me to handle. I felt ready to explode. Or pass out.
Now there would be an embarrassing story to spread around BFH.
The dirty, poor girl makes out with Kip and passes out.
 I kissed Kip so aggressively. In a way I had never kissed someone before.
I had no idea what was going through my mind.
His hands moved up over my chest and I broke the kiss, sighing, putting my head back. His hands
kept going though, up to my neck. He was strong and gentle at the same time. His thumbs touched my
bottom lip and he forced me to look at him.
There was something about the look in his eyes.
It was…
It was like he was in love with me.
The thought hit me hard and made me lose my breath for a second.
There was no way Kip loved me. He probably didn’t even really like me. I was a goal to him.
That was it. Just like with Barr. And just like with Pres.
But his eyes…
He just stared.
Almost like he was confused.
“Kip…”
“There’s a reason I brought you all the way to the top. I know you’re afraid of heights.”
“Who said I was afraid of heights?” I asked.
“I can read it on your face, girl. Stand up and hold my hand. It’s worth it.”
Kip stood up and offered his hand to me.
I took his hand and moved to my feet.
I took a shaky step or two to get to the top of the bleachers to stand next to him.
My right hand clamped down on the railing really hard.
Kip put my left hand to the railing. He put his right hand to my waist, holding tight.
Protective.
“Just look out there,” he whispered. “Look at the view.”
My eyes focused as I stared forward.
And, fine, I had to give it to Kip.
The view was… wow.
That was the only word.
Being so high up in the air, I could see over everything and see right to the ocean.
I couldn’t see the beach or the waves, but I could see the long horizon that was a dark bluish
color. Where the land met the water.
“Wow,” I whispered, still reduced to just one word to describe what I was looking at.
“That’s my reaction when I see you, girl,” Kip said.
I turned my head. I pretend to choke. “Now that’s cheap. Sweet. Weak.”
“And it works,” he said. He reached for my cheek and acted as though he was moving a piece of
hair out of my face. “Always works.”
“Okay, Kip,” I said. “You lured me here. We’re alone. You showed me what you wanted to. Now
what?”
“First off, lured you?” he asked. “That makes me sound bad.”
“Your point?” I asked with a wink.
He laughed.
“Second, that’s not what I wanted to show you. What I have in mind is much… different. It’s
perfect. Big. Long. And whether you believe it or not, it’s something I don’t share with many chicks.”
Chicks. How fucking cliché.
 Yet his words were burning me up inside.
I felt my cheeks turning red.
“Now… this was just to say hey,” Kip whispered. “See if you would listen to me. And you did.”
“You tricked me.”
“It worked. What’s the difference?”
“There’s a big difference, Kip.”
“Then you can tell me about it. When I steal you tomorrow. Late afternoon. Meet me at the end of
your driveway.”
“Are you asking?”
“Fuck no, girl,” Kip said. “I don’t ask. I do. I take. I get. I enjoy.”
Kip stepped back and down a step. Then another. Then another.
“Hey, be careful,” I said, worried he was going to fall.
“See?” he asked with a grin. “Shows how much you care.”
“No,” I said. “I hope you fall. I hope you smash your head and forget who you are. I hope you
break your neck!”
“Lies, girl,” Kip said.
He turned and trotted down the bleachers, leaving me up there alone.
When I looked out to the ocean again, my knees started to shake and hit together.
I hated heights.
I hated being alone at such a height.
And I hated that I missed Kip being next to me.
There was just something about the way he looked at me…

I t was embarrassing how long it took me to walk down the bleachers. And it also included me
texting Gi so I had some kind of distraction. Or at least the knowledge that someone knew where I
was in case I fell and hurt myself.
I didn’t fall.
I didn’t hurt myself.
And that was with Gi responding.
I gave her the quick story of why I was alone on the bleachers and she text me back an eggplant
emoji. Which was well known for representing a certain part of a guy. For a second, I felt jealousy,
wondering if Gi – or Iris – had seen Kip’s… eggplant.
I told myself not to ask a question where the answer would hurt me.
See, Ti, you can do this without self-destruction. Good job!
I walked out of the stadium and toward my SUV only to find it being blocked by another SUV.
I stopped and put my head back, laughing.
“Here we go again,” I whispered as I watched the window roll down.
Pres looked at me and pulled the same sunglasses down the same nose.
I stood there, defiant, curling my lip, not impressed.
He slowly drove forward to show me that someone was in my SUV.
I started to run only to realize it was Barr.
He climbed out of the driver’s seat and shut the door.
He was smoking which meant my SUV would stink like cigarette smoke.
“Jerk,” I called to him.
“Beautiful,” he said back. He dropped the cigarette and walked toward Pres’s SUV.
“What did you do?” I called out.
“Nothing,” he said, without looking back.
He was big, tough, sexy, burly… dammit.
I had Barr and Kip in my head fighting each other.
Honey gold eyes versus bright blue eyes.
And then to make it worse, there was Pres, staring at me through the side mirror of the SUV.
His dark, cold and evil eyes just pushing at me.
He half grinned when Barr got into the SUV.
Then he sped off.
I ripped open the door to my SUV and there was a rose waiting for me on the seat.
Except all the petals had been ripped off and scattered along the seat and the floor.
What did that mean?
Beauty destroyed? Untouched being ripped apart?
I reached for the rose and pricked my finger.
“Fuck,” I growled.
I swiped the rose to the ground, along with any of the petals I could grab.
I got into the driver’s seat and took a deep breath.
This game was getting more and more intense by the minute.
But that was okay.
I still had the biggest surprise of them all just waiting to be revealed.
 twelve

T here was something to be said when the Rulz were the ones waiting for you.
And I didn’t need anyone to tell me how amazing it was. I could sense it on everyone’s
face and I could feel the whatever in the air as I approached them outside BFH.
Barr was finishing his cigarette while Pres leaned against a railing with his arms crossed.
Kip stood forward a couple feet, staring at me as though he had already won their little fucking
bet.
The reminder of that bet took my mood and flushed it down an old, stained toilet.
Which was probably a good thing.
I needed the reminder on a daily basis now.
“You broke my heart, love,” Barr said as he dropped the cigarette. And for maybe the first time
ever, he stepped on the cigarette. “The fire is out.”
“Just like that, huh?” I asked. “No more fight in you?”
Barr slowly grinned. “You know me. Damn, love, you really know me.”
My eyes moved to Pres. Wearing the same sunglasses, like he did the last couple times I saw him.
He just started wearing them too. I had no idea what that meant.
“And you’re so silent,” I said to Pres.
“Thinking, sugar,” he said.
“About what?”
“Moments,” he said. “Just collecting them. Sorting them out.”
“Wow, the badass is tamed,” I said with a laugh.
That was the wrong thing to say.
Pres pushed from the railing and took off his sunglasses. A look in his eyes almost flashed at me
and then he was on the move. He stood at the top of the steps, blocking the way for some guy who had
his head down.
Shit.
The guy walked right into Pres.
“Bad move, Cade,” Kip said.
The guy – Cade – looked up at Pres. “Fuck.”
“Fuck is right,” Pres said.
He grabbed Cade by the shirt and lifted him. He turned and walked Cade to the railing and threw
him against it.
Cade dropped down to one knee and put his hand up. “I’m sorry, Pres. I was checking something.”
 “Give me the phone,” Barr ordered.
“Seriously?” I asked.
Pres glanced at me and curled his lip.
“Give him the fucking phone,” Kip growled.
Cade reluctantly held his phone out.
Kip kicked Cade’s wrist so the phone fell to the ground.
Barr stepped forward and slammed his heel down on the screen.
“Oh, shit,” Barr said. “I wasn’t paying attention. Look what I’ve done now.” Barr lifted his foot
and slammed it down again. “Oh, I did it again…”
Barr did it three more time before kicking the phone off the steps into the bushes.
“That’s supposed to impress me?” I asked Pres.
Pres closed in on me, putting his body right against mine, but he didn’t touch me. His hands stayed
away.
“He’s friends with Jacob,” Pres whispered. “And I think you know what Jacob did. So I’m going
to just assume he played a role in that night. And if he did, then we’re taking care of a problem. If he
didn’t, then we’re sending a clear message.”
Pres walked toward Cade.
I wasn’t sure how to feel.
But I guess my feelings didn’t mean a thing.
Kip wound up and came down with a hard right fist to Cade’s face.
Cade curled right up and rolled under the railing but not off the steps.
The Rulz then set their sights on me as a bell rang.
Pres grabbed Barr’s shirt and tugged and they walked away first.
Kip touched my cheek with the knuckles that had just smashed against Cade’s face.
He leaned down toward me and kissed my cheek. “I’ll see you later, girl. Can’t wait for it.”
Kip went to tag along with Pres and Barr.
I glanced to my right and saw Cade reaching for the railing. His cheek was bright red and
swollen. He looked at me but hurried to turn his head and cover his face.
“What was that about?” Gi asked from my left side.
I hadn’t even seen her show up.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey to you,” Iris said. “Cade got his ass kicked, huh?”
“He bumped into Pres,” I said.
“Typical,” Gi said.
“Forget Cade,” Iris said. “I want to talk about Kip hitting his lips to your cheek.”
“What about it?” I asked.
Gi motioned toward the door to BFH and we started to walk.
“Nothing to talk about,” I said.
“Bullshit,” Iris said.
“He’s picking you up today, right?” Gi asked.
My stomach did a backflip. I sort of hated that I panicked on the bleachers and ended up texting Gi
everything about Kip. So she knew what happened with the note, the bleachers, that Kip wanted to
take me somewhere…
“You’re going to fall hard for those blue eyes,” Iris said. “I can sense it on you.”
“Shut up,” I said. “I’m not falling for anything.”
 “He’ll probably want to show off his surf moves,” Gi said.
“Then his bedroom moves,” Iris added.
“Have you been there before too?” I snapped at Iris.
Iris hurried to cut me off and grinned. “What if I said yes?”
I stared. I kept the jealousy under control.
I shrugged my shoulders. “Whatever.”
“Yeah, whatever,” Iris said.
“Okay, I have to ask something,” Gi said.
“Ask away,” I said.
“What’s the plan?”
“The plan?” I asked. “I don’t know. Kip said he’s-”
“No, not with Kip,” Gi said. “With you, Ti. I get what you’re thinking here. Going out with them.
Thinking you’re messing with them. But they don’t get jealous. You see that, right?”
“Yeah, I see it,” I said.
“Okay… so what happens after you go out with all three? Then what? Just repeat the cycle over
and over? How long do you think this could last?”
“I don’t know,” I said.
“I think Gi is right,” Iris said. “I mean that too. Seriously. I figure it this way… you either give it
up to one of them or they leave you be. But if they do that, they’ll ruin your reputation.”
“And what reputation is that?” I asked. “I’m just here for a little bit.”
“Are you though?” Gi asked.
“Yeah,” I said. “When my mother…”
I actually thought about that sentence before the rest of it came out.
“Face it, Ti, you’re settled here,” Gi said. “You like it here. You like everything that Claire has
given to you and can keep giving you.”
I shook my head. “No. That’s wrong. Because with one breath, I’m gone. And I’m not entitled to
anything. Claire isn’t family. So nothing changes.”
“Meaning what?” Iris asked. “You’re going to do what to the Rulz? Make them look stupid for
following you around for nothing?”
“Where is this coming from?” I asked. “I thought this was okay.”
“Beth told you it was okay,” Gi said. “You really want to follow her lead?”
“There is no lead to follow,” I said. “I know what I’m doing. Those three assholes are used to
getting anything they want. No matter what. I have something they want that they literally can’t have
or get. There’s no undoing it. And they can’t hurt me. I’m poor. My mother is a mess. My entire life
and world is a mix of lies and broken memories.”
Another bell rang.
We were all officially late.
Which was the norm.
I really didn’t care.
“We sort of like you here,” Gi said. “You fit. This works. I kind of don’t want you to leave.”
“Shit,” I whispered.
I looked at Iris.
“Don’t look at me,” Iris said. “I’ll pack your bags for you. Well, bag… clothes in a shopping bag,
right?”
I threw Iris the middle finger.
 “Just think about it,” Gi said. “What you’re doing here.”
We all split up to go to class.
That kind of stuff was the last thing I wanted on my mind.
Making friends.
Making best friends.
Thinking about what would happen if I stayed in BFH. Thinking about what would happen if I left
BFH. And the harsh reality of what life would be like when Mom got out of rehab. She would need to
finish first. And then…
I shut my eyes.
There were too many unknowns to deal with.
I preferred to stick with what I knew.
Kip wanted to take me somewhere private.
And I wasn’t going to turn down the chance to spend time with a blue eyed surfer boy with a crazy
bad attitude, who looked at me the way he did.
I just needed to keep my heart protected.

T here was now a strange feeling that went through me when I went home. Home of course was
still Claire’s house. But it got exhausting to call it that in my head. And truthfully if I didn’t call
Claire’s house home then I would be homeless. And I really didn’t want to be the poor, dirty girl with
the junkie mother who was now also homeless.
I had no idea how to approach Claire. Or deal with her.
She lied to me.
And it wasn’t some little lie either.
It was a big lie.
She lied about a car accident.
She told me she was in a car accident.
Her face looked like she was in a car accident.
But her car had been untouched… until the next morning…
So I tiptoed through the house only to find Claire in the kitchen.
Sitting with a large cup of coffee in front of her, along with two laptops and a tablet.
She looked at me and smiled. “Hey there.”
“Sorry,” I said. “Am I interrupting?”
“No,” she said. “Just finished a conference call. Bullshit developers. They think me being a
woman means I lost my cock and I’m forever trying to find it and lack the same brain power as they
do.”
My eyes went wide. “Wow.”
“Yeah,” Claire said. “Come here. Look at something with me quick.”
I approached Claire slowly.
Her face was still roughed up but much better than that first initial shock of seeing the cuts and
bruises. Of course she had the help of makeup.
“Sylvester pointed me to this,” Claire said. “But there are no favors in life.”
“What about me?”
“What about you?”
 “This is a favor,” I said. “Me being here.”
“No,” Claire said. “It’s my responsibility. I owe you.”
For what, Claire? For what…
Claire pointed to the screen again. “So this building needs to be knocked down. Then we can
build on it. I asked Sylvester why he wasn’t interested and he said he had taken on enough for the
year. I looked into it. It’s bullshit. He wants to dump this on me. Why? Because there’s background
noise to it and he promised someone he’d help. So if I take this, it would get held up and just sit there,
draining me little by little.”
I really didn’t know what Claire was talking about.
I nodded anyway.
“Sorry about that,” I said.
“I’m not. That’s how they all are. Parents to kids. Father to son.”
My heart raced a little.
Was she talking about Barr?
“That’s why you have to know who you’re talking to, Tinsley,” Claire said. “No matter what it is
in life.”
“Makes sense,” I said. “Hey, did you get your car fixed yet?”
Claire laughed. “Fixed?”
“From the accident…”
“Oh, I’m not getting that fixed,” Claire said. “I just ordered a new one. No big deal.”
She shut the laptops and the tablet and stood up.
My mother had never owned a new vehicle in her entire life. Everything was always one piece of
shit car to another. If we didn’t break down on the side of the road at least once a month something
was very wrong in life.
Claire must have picked up on my shock.
She started to laugh. “It’s okay, Tinsley. Sometimes it can be a lot to understand.”
“I’m just not used to it,” I said. “Any of this actually. I still wake up in bed and look around
thinking it has to be a mistake.”
“Enjoy it,” Claire said. “I still stand by what I told you the first day you were here.”
“And I still thank you for having me here,” I said.
“No need for that.”
Claire left the kitchen.
I went upstairs to get changed.
And I paced my room.
My eyes looking to my phone.
A sense of logic told me to text Kip and tell him I wasn’t going anywhere. It was easy to lie.
Especially through texts.
I couldn’t bring myself to do it, though.
And then my screen lit up with a text from Kip.
Outside girl
I swallowed hard.
Too late to back out now.
 e was dreamy.

H And that was a problem.

He sat in the driver’s seat of some vehicle that had no doors on it. It wasn’t some fancy six
figure car like Barr had picked me up in. This was like an off road kind of vehicle. It was black and
teal but looked roughed up.
With the engine running, Kip jumped out of the driver’s seat and ran to me.
He grabbed my hand and hugged me.
“This is my beach ride, girl,” he said. “Only way to get where we’re going.”
I saw a surfboard strapped to the top.
Kip was taking me to the ocean.
Of course he was.
But at least I’d get to see him surf.
As Kip walked me around the front of the ride, he slapped the hood.
“Don’t mind the way she looks,” he said. “She’s a beast. I’ve got her customized to outrun
anything new off a lot.”
I smiled and nodded.
Kip held my hand as I stepped up into the passenger seat.
The seats were a comfy cloth.
Everything inside the ride was stripped down and basic.
It was definitely something you’d see near a beach or even on a beach.
Kip ran to get into his seat and without hesitation, he backed up and around, and then took off.
I grabbed from the metal frame of the ride and held tight.
“Don’t worry, I won’t flip her,” Kip called out and laughed.
Great. Thanks for that thought now too.
Kip drove fast but as the wind ripped across my face and through my hair, I started to relax. I
fought with my hair and Kip laughed at me. Something about his laugh was amazing. It was soothing
and made me forget way too much.
I wrestled even harder with a hair tie to pull my hair back.
That helped, but not much.
Kip took the turns too fast and yelled when he did so.
He pissed me off yet made me smile at the same time.
And there wasn’t more than three seconds that went by without him turning his head to check on
me.
We ended up on some road where the ocean was on my right.
I put my left hand to the dashboard and turned to stare.
Watching the white caps of the waves speed by in the blink of an eye, moving more and more
away from BFH and all the stuff that waited there.
The drive only lasted a few minutes after that and Kip turned off the paved road to a rockier path.
His ride jumped as he drove.
My heart raced but at least we were going really slow.
That path turned into sand and he just kept going.
“Kip?” I asked.
“No worries, girl,” he said. “We… are… here.”
At the word here, Kip put the ride into park and shut the engine off.
I jumped forward and put my hands out so I didn’t smack my face off the dashboard.
 Kip stood on his own seat and was already unstrapping the surfboard.
Damn, he moved fast.
It was like he had a plan and that was that.
Kip jumped down to the sand and had a surfboard with him.
“Ready, girl?” he asked.
“Always ready,” I said.
He was ready to surf and I was in shorts and a hoodie.
There was no way in hell I was going into the ocean.
So I was here to watch Kip surf.
I caught myself ready to compare what Kip was doing to what Barr had done.
Kip took off down to the ocean and I slowly followed.
I took off my flip flops and enjoyed the feel of the sand on my feet.
Kip paused for a second to take off his shirt.
Well, hello…
He used one hand to take off his shirt.
He stepped out of his shoes.
He wasn’t wearing any socks.
The sight of his back was just…
By the time I got down to the wet part of the sand, Kip was already in the water.
Belly down on the surfboard, he kicked and paddled his way out over the waves to get deep into
the ocean.
I stood next to his stuff and picked up his shirt so it wouldn’t get soaked.
The typical sleeveless shirt.
And it smelled like him.
I held it tight in my left hand and watched him get ready to ride a wave.
Now, watching someone surf was actually really cool.
I couldn’t imagine how much work it took to be able to jump up and balance on a surfboard only
to then have to stay on the board as a wave tried to knock you down.
Off of that… cool.
But my eyes were glued to his body.
His tall, tone frame.
Long arms, bent legs, feet planted flat to the board. His stomach crunched a little but still showing
off a set of abs that were drool worthy. His body worked hard to keep its balance and my eyes
worked harder to study every inch of him and lock it away in my memory. Probably for forever.
Kip rode the wave to shore and swiped his surfboard up in style as he looked at me.
I nodded.
“That’s it?” he called out.
I threw his shirt over my shoulder and gently clapped my hands together.
“Better?” I called back.
“A little,” he said.
He smiled. He winked.
His blue eyes made more of those promises that could never be kept.
Kip turned and ran back into the water.
I simply just tried to catch my breath.
 thirteen

I sat on the beach and watched Kip surf.

I figured at some point I would get bored but I didn’t. Each time he surfed it was different. A
different wave. A different set of risks, if that made any sense at all. My heart never truly calmed
down either. There were a few times when the wave got the best of him, throwing him hard into the
water. And I simply just held my breath, waiting to see if he would pop up and be okay.
Each time, he did so.
Kip rode another wave and looked at me, smiling. He then opened his arms and fell back on
purpose. He smacked the water and somehow was able to plant his feet and stand right up, the ocean
forming around him as though he controlled the water.
Grabbing his surfboard, he walked out of the water.
To say the words wet and dream together felt too cliché. Yet way too accurate too.
The water dripped from his messy blonde hair. His blue eyes had a way of shining brighter with
the reflection of the water.
And he was walking toward me.
I wasn’t just some girl gawking at him.
He was there for me. Or I was there for him. Or we were there…
Kip offered his hand.
I took it and he pulled me to my feet.
“Ready?” he whispered.
“For what?”
Kip let his surfboard hit the sand.
He grabbed the bottom of my hoodie with both hands and lifted.
My heart raced and butterflies flew everywhere inside of me.
There was no way my mind was going to stop this either.
I was too far gone now.
I shut my eyes and sucked in a deep breath as Kip took the hoodie up over my head. I tilted my
head back as the top pulled against my chin.
My body shivered even though it wasn’t cold at all.
Kip tossed my hoodie to the sand.
I stood in a tank top.
His fingertips touched my shoulders.
That created a whole new set of shivers. Like each part of my body had its own reaction to his
touch. Or their touch.
I looked up into his blue eyes and he smirked.
“Are you ready, girl?”
“For what?” I asked again.
“To surf,” he said.
“What?” I asked.
Kip stepped back and moved his hands down my arms to my hands.
He laughed, sensing my disappointment.
Just another little offering of proof that the games they were playing were hard to handle at times.
“I don’t know how to surf,” I said.
“I can teach you.”
“I’m not in the learning mood.”
Kip pulled me against him.
I let out a scream at the feel of his wet body against mine. I was instantly wet. Wet. Dammit.
Kip slapped his hands to my ass and picked me up.
I screamed again, laughing, knowing I was slipping into the moment too deep.
He turned and started to run for the water.
“Kip. Shit. No.”
“Here we go, girl,” he said.
I shut my eyes and felt the water splashing all around us.
My feet and legs were wet, the water creeping up to the bottom of my shorts.
That was solved when a wave crashed, making it impossible to avoid getting even wetter.
Kip held me at eye level with him.
“How much do you hate me right now?” he asked.
“More than anything in the world,” I whispered.
“I can make you hate me more.”
“Try me.”
He put the tip of his nose to mine. “I didn’t bring you here to watch me surf.”
“No?”
“No. But when we got here, I saw a few waves… the ocean is really moving today. Had to grab a
few.”
“So what are we doing here, Kip?”
“I told you I wanted to show you something,” he said.
“Yeah, Barr used that same line on me,” I said. “Do you all recycle lines like that?”
“Only if it’s a good one.”
I laughed. “Smooth, Kip.”
He started to walk out of the water. “I have towels, girl. You can get dried off. Unless you like
being wet and with me.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m not laughing at that.”
“Nobody said you had to,” Kip said.
He put me back to my feet and grabbed his surfboard and walked it back to his ride.
I stood there, wet from the waist down (yeah, I know how that sounds) and watched him some
more. I felt like that’s all I could do with Kip. Just watch and marvel. Because the side he showed me
was not the side he showed the world. The guy holding me in the water, staring at me like he loved
me was not the same guy who punched Cade. Or fought at the ditch.
 It made him almost mysterious.
And super fucking sexy.
Kip returned with two blue towels that were bigger than me.
They were like soft blankets and smelled like they had just come out of the dryer.
I let out a stupid sounding sigh and hugged the towel without realizing I was doing it until Kip
pointed it out.
“Don’t fall asleep on me, girl,” Kip said. “At least not yet.”
“Are we going to sit on the beach together and talk about our lives?” I asked.
“Nah,” Kip said. “Just follow me.”
Kip had his towel over his right shoulder. He didn’t need it to cover his body. Not like me. I
wasn’t going to give up the warm and blanket like feel of the towel.
We walked the beach toward a set of large rocks. I thought we were going to climb the rocks and
take in another beautiful view of the ocean.
Instead of climbing the rocks, Kip walked to the front of them. Near the water.
“What is this?” I asked.
“Secret spot,” he said.
As we came around to the front, I realized it was some kind of cove or something.
There was an opening big enough to crouch to get under.
Well, Kip had to crouch.
I didn’t.
“This is my place,” he said. “Where I come to hide when need be.”
The sand was sort of dry and extra crumbly. It was rock and sand mixed together. It smelled wet
and salty but was completely cozy. The ocean waves crashed in front of us but never got too close.
Kip put his towel down and sat down first.
I sat next to him, still wrapped in my towel.
“This is really nice,” I said.
“Of course it is.”
“So what’s your deal? The cool guy surfer is also the guy who throws punches and acts like a
douchebag?”
“Depends on your definition of douchebag, girl,” Kip said so coolly. “You know damn well why I
hit Cade. And the same for the others.”
“Like Denny?”
“That was something building up,” Kip said. “And if you put your hands anywhere near something
that’s mine, I’m going to defend what’s rightfully mine.”
“So you three just decided I was yours?” I asked.
Kip grinned. “Why does that surprise you?”
I shook my head. “What about your parents?”
“What about?”
“What do they do? What kind of massive fortune have they left their son?”
“They do what they do,” Kip said.
“Really?”
“Really,” he said. “What’s up with your life? How’d you fall so far to the side?”
I laughed. Not a happy laugh. “So let me get this straight. You were born with everything you
could ever ask for waiting. Right? I was born with nothing. And you’re asking me how I fell? Imagine
you and I are swimming to shore, okay? You are only five feet out in the water. With a surfboard. And
a rope. At the end of the rope is a truck, pulling you forward. That’s your life, Kip. Me? I’m a mile
out in the water. With nothing. Better yet, there are giant rocks tied to my feet, pulling me down.
That’s us.”
“As long as I have my surfboard, I’m cool,” Kip said.
“Fucking asshole,” I growled.
I kicked my feet to stand up.
Kip made a move and pulled me down so I landed on top of him.
I pushed back, realizing I was then straddling him. Positioned right over him, my hands flat,
spread wide over his chest.
He causally put his hands behind his head.
“Hey, girl,” he said. “I can deal with this.”
“I can’t,” I said.
I moved an inch and Kip said, “My father’s a lawyer.”
I stopped moving. “Go on.”
“Big time corporate lawyer. Hate watching what he does. Nothing he says is the truth. His entire
existence is based on a collection of lies. Yeah, he makes a fucking fortune but he’s not even a real
person.”
“And your mother?”
“She works in fashion. Makes way more than my old man. And he fucking hates that.”
Kip grinned.
“What’s so funny about that?” I asked.
“There’s just something cool about a chick who takes charge and doesn’t give a shit.”
“That’s why you look at me the way you do?” I asked.
“Not sure,” Kip said. “Something about you, girl… something just sticks…”
“You know everything you say is all bullshit, right?”
“Pick and choose what you like to hear,” Kip said.
I shook my head. “Why do you act like this?”
“I’m myself, girl. You’re the one who’s judging.”
“Excuse me?”
Kip propped himself up on his elbows.
I was still on top of him.
What the hell are you doing, Tinsley Ditkiss? Get off him. Unless you’re going to get off on
him…
“You look at me and judge me, girl,” Kip said. “You see my hair, my eyes, the way I dress… and
it’s instant opinion. You look at Barr and he looks like a miserable prick. And he is. You look at Pres
and he looks cold and calculated. And he is. But me? You see me as… what? A hippie surfer guy?
You think I’m going to share a joint with you? Talk about the universe and fucking energies and shit?”
“I didn’t say that,” I said.
“You think it. You imply it. So maybe that’s why I am the way I am. In fact, get the fuck off me.”
Kip sat up some more.
I had my out.
My chance to actually get away.
Except I did the opposite.
I put my hands to his shoulders and pushed at him to keep him in place.
“My mother is in rehab for drugs,” I said in a low voice.
 “I know that, girl,” Kip said.
“So that’s my life.”
“Your entire life?”
“Mostly,” I said. “She has moments when she’s good. Then when she’s bad. And then in
between.”
“What about this time?”
“Claire showed up.”
“She showed up?”
“Yeah. She showed up. That’s it. I was at the hospital and Claire showed up.”
“And you knew her, right?”
“Yeah. She helped us as much as she could. Then I guess my mother stole some stuff from her and
that was the line. I can’t blame Claire for that.”
“So you’re a mile out in the ocean, huh?”
“Exactly, Kip.”
Kip quickly sat up.
Inches from me. “Now look how close we are.”
“Yeah, I can see that,” I said.
“No more mile out there, girl,” he whispered.
We stared at each other for a few seconds before Kip moved back down.
Me on top of him felt good. It was comfortable. Like the towel. Like the ocean. Like the way BFH
had started to feel.
Digging its damn way into my heart.
Like Kip’s eyes.
“Do you hope your mother gets better?” Kip asked.
“What kind of question is that?”
“A real one.”
“Of course I do.”
“Bullshit,” Kip said.
“What?”
“Why would you want her to get better? If she’s only going to hurt you?”
“Maybe I’m used to being hurt,” I said.
The answer came out so sudden and so honest, I gasped.
“Fuck, girl…”
I swallowed hard and blinked fast.
A tear fell from my eye and landed right on Kip’s chest.
Fuck.
That wasn’t part of the plan or whatever this was.
“Tinsley,” Kip said, actually speaking my name.
I jumped back and jumped up.
I turned – without the big, comfy towel – and I ran.

E verything Gi and Iris said ran through my head as I stood on the beach.
I wiped my eyes, feeling worse than I did before.
 The ocean could soothe the most achy soul or it could just add to it.
The same soft sound of the waves that proved things come and go was the same sound that
reminded you everything just kept changing and would keep changing.
I knew Kip would follow me.
He was my ride out of here anyway.
So if I could just take my tears with me and control myself, I’d be fine.
Of course, Kip being Kip, when he came after me, he turned me to face him and put his hands to
my cheeks.
His blue eyes made me want to cry even more.
And that was just fucking weird. And sad. And it made me want to go back to where I came from.
Fix things with Ruby and Amelia. Go back to being poor.
Then Kip kissed me.
A soft kiss.
For a second.
He kissed me harder, deeper, offering the same promises his eyes did. All of which would be
broken the second he touched me and took me.
I was ready.
Right there on the beach.
End the Rulz and their bullshit game once and for all.
And turn my stupid tears into laughter before I bailed on BFH.
There were too many racing thoughts as Kip kissed me.
It was impossible to make anything make any kind of sense.
His thumbs stroked a few tears and that was that.
There were no more tears.
My emotions were focused somewhere else.
My fingertips against the bare skin of his chest. Feeling the hardness of muscle. And the subtle
curves as muscle touched more muscle. All the way down to the top of his board shorts.
Kip pulled my hands from where they were going and moved them to his back.
He pulled my body against his and kissed deeper.
I felt something splash against my face and thought it was more tears.
But that wasn’t possible.
I wasn’t crying.
No fucking way.
Kip broke the kiss and looked up. “Oh shit…”
I looked up.
Water hit my face again.
And again.
It was starting to rain.
Well… it went from starting to rain to pouring rain in five seconds.
I darted from Kip to get my hoodie from the sand.
He took off the other way to get the towels from the little cove.
The rain poured so hard, I started to yell as I ran toward Kip’s ride.
I jumped into the passenger seat and tried to hide myself as though the rain was going to burn my
skin.
Kip strolled up the beach, getting soaked, looking right at me as he walked.
 When he got into the driver’s seat, he opened one of the towels to reveal the second one, which
was dry.
“Here, girl,” he said. “For you.”
“Thanks, Kip,” I said.
I wrapped the towel around my body and hugged my knees.
The rain came down fast but came down in a straight line.
It was actually kind of pretty.
In a sad way, I guess.
Kip leaned toward me and nudged his chin to my shoulder.
I looked back.
Those blue eyes were right there in my face.
“I don’t know what you think about yourself, girl, but you’re pretty damn special to me.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“And you’ve never brought anyone here before?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“So this is your spot, Kip. You take a girl up here and make your moves and then…”
“And then,” he said with a grin. His eyes looked to the backseat and then to me.
I moved my eyes to the backseat and then back to Kip.
He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine.
I started to open the towel.
In the backseat of his ride… in the rain… next to the beach…
A big crack of thunder shook the ground and I jumped.
The rain then suddenly started to go sideways, coming right through Kip’s ride. And there was no
stopping it because there were no doors.
A flash of lightning climbed across the sky a second before a bigger crack of thunder sounded.
“Fuck,” Kip said. “We have to get out of here.”
“I guess so,” I whispered.
I licked my lips and tasted rain and Kip.
He started his ride and took off, leaving me grabbing for the metal bars again.
He drove fast through the storm, the rain and wind and thunder and lightning doing whatever the
hell it wanted to do.
Honestly, it was fucking scary. And fucking dangerous.
But at one point, I looked at Kip and started to laugh.
“What’s so funny?” he growled at me.
“This,” I said. “Your ride is getting soaked. I’m getting soaked.”
“Laugh it up, girl,” Kip said.
And I did.
All the way back to Claire’s.
When Kip stopped, I jumped out of his ride. I tossed the towel to the seat and grabbed my hoodie.
“This isn’t over, girl,” Kip said as the rain continued to pound down.
“No?” I called out.
“Not even fucking close.”
He didn’t smile.
He didn’t laugh.
And his blue eyes were still blue but a different kind of blue.
Which was impossible but still…
Kip sped away, his tires skidding on the wet pavement of the driveway.
I stood there long after he was gone, getting wetter by the second.
Thunder rumbling overhead.
Thunder rumbling in my heart.
I could have been looking for my clothes in Kip’s backseat by then.
I grinned and turned, walking toward the house.
Toward home.
Maybe I could find a way to stay in Bay Falls High for as long as I wanted.
 fourteen

A s I sat up in bed, freshly awake, I thought about everything my life used to be. It was like
the sudden and giant rush of thoughts and memories that hit me all at once. I thought about
Ruby, I missed her. I told myself I would reach out to her - or at least try to - but I know I
probably wouldn’t. Not after what happened the last time I tried. She and Amelia made it very clear
that I was no longer welcome there.
But the years of memories just kind of sat there in my head.
Like, what was I supposed to do with them? Those memories were my life.
Just like the memories with my mother.
We had a game called fast monster.
You’d think being a kid hearing the word monster would scare me… and believe me, it did… but
I had gotten used to it because Mom knew how to take care of the monster. It was sad to think that in
some ways she was kind of a hero to me for always making the monster go away. The reality though
was that she was the monster.
No matter what I was doing in the apartment, if Mom said the words fast monster, I had to run. If
I was playing with toys in the living room, I had to run. If I was eating cold, crooked chicken nuggets
on a flimsy paper plate, I had to run. There was one time I was in the bath, making a white beard with
bubbles, and Mom opened the door and said the words.
That meant I had to grab a towel and run.
And by running, I had to go to my room and get under my bed.
All the way under my bed.
I wasn’t allowed to move. I wasn’t allowed to talk. I wasn’t allowed to make any noise at all.
Since it was so crammed under my bed, I would try to close my eyes and think about happy things.
I would write my Christmas list, knowing not a single thing on that list would show up from Santa. In
fact, the only time Santa actually brought me decent presents was when we lived in the apartment that
Claire owned. I always assumed Claire must have had a connection to Santa, but it was obvious when
I got older that she was the one helping to preserve something that looked like my innocence.
But that was the game.
Fast monster.
And the monster was always the person bringing Mom the stuff she needed. I was always told to
hide because if something went wrong, Mom could get hurt. Or I could get hurt.
All those memories just floated around in my head as I sat in the biggest bed I had ever seen in my
life. In the biggest house I had ever been in. Living for free. Eating for free. Driving a really
expensive vehicle. And there was no reason I couldn’t stay as long as I wanted to stay.
As if I needed more convincing I threw the covers off my body and walked to the window. The
view right from the window… the ocean…
“Damn,” I whispered.
Movement caught my attention and I leaned forward and looked down.
The pool water was crystal clear.
But that wasn’t what I was looking at.
It was Claire.
Standing next to the pool in a black work dress. Her hair pulled back tight. Looking devilish and
beautiful. I bit my lip, wishing she was my real mother.
She was on her cellphone, her left hand animated as she gave orders.
I loved her attitude. And her style. She held herself on her own and built herself a little empire.
Claire pulled the cellphone from her ear and shook it in the air.
Just like that the call was over.
But Claire wasn’t done though.
She started talking to someone.
I couldn’t see who the person was though.
She looked really irritated too.
Pointing. Yelling.
And then walking away.
“Rough morning,” I said to myself.
With Claire gone, the mystery person stepped forward toward the pool.
It was a man.
With his hands in his pockets.
Staring down at the water.
He took his right hand from his pocket and ran his hand through his hair.
When he turned his head and I saw the side of his face, I let out a gasp.
It was the man from the car…
I stared intently, trying to figure out who the man was. He didn’t look familiar to me at all though.
I couldn’t put him anywhere in my mind or memory.
The man looked left to right, then he started to nod.
Then he turned around and looked up.
Right at me.
Our eyes met.
I jumped back.

M y heart slammed so fast in my chest I could hear it.

I looked at the bedroom door and wasn’t sure if I should lock the door or go downstairs
and casually poke around and to see if I could figure out who that man was.
Option two was the crazier one, so I chose that.
Why not?
I threw a hoodie on to cover myself up and I shuffled my way through the giant house down to the
kitchen.
But there was no sign of the man.
At all.
Anywhere.
There was a man in the kitchen though.
Sitting with some financial newspaper up, covering his face.
“Coffee?” a woman’s voice asked me.
It was one of the morning chef’s.
A pretty young woman with bright blonde hair and brighter blue eyes.
She made me think of Kip.
Of course.
“Yes, please,” I said.
The newspaper fell and I guess I just assumed it was going to be Will.
It wasn’t.
Pres’s father wasn’t the man reading the newspaper.
And it wasn’t the man I had seen outside at the pool.
This was a different man.
He had short, black, curly hair. A thick, well-kept black beard. Really sharp and piercing eyes. A
smile that could sell you the worst car on a used lot.
He slowly folded the newspaper and set all of his attention on me.
He wore a white t-shirt that pulled tight to a well taken care of body.
“You’re Tinsley,” he said.
“Depends on who’s asking,” I said.
“Jeff.”
“Who’s Jeff?”
“I’m Jeff.”
“And what does Jeff want with Tinsley?” I asked.
“I’ve always wondered what Claire’s kid would be like.”
“Kid?” I asked.
“Excuse me,” Jeff said. “Teenager?”
“Adult,” I said.
“Daughter,” Jeff said.
“Daughter?” I asked.
Jeff laughed. “I’m out of words to keep that game going.”
He lifted a coffee mug to his lips and sipped it. His eyes never left me.
I took my coffee mug and did the same thing.
“So, wait a second,” I said. “You think I’m Claire’s daughter?”
“Oh, don’t tell me you’re one of these hippie universe ones that don’t believe in parents and all
that?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Well, then, yes, you’re Claire’s daughter.”
I wasn’t sure how to take that comment.
So I didn’t respond.
I just observed.
And by observing, that meant observing the look of shock on Claire’s face when she entered the
kitchen.
“There she is,” Jeff announced. “My black dress vixen.”
“What…” Claire pointed at me. “Are you okay?”
“Perfect,” I said. “Just getting coffee and chatting up Jeff here.”
“There is no real warning about me for her, is there?” Jeff asked Claire referring to me.
“Nope,” Claire said.
She walked toward Jeff and he quickly reached for her.
Jeff pulled Claire right to his lap. His hands around her waist, holding her possessively tight.
“I’m going to miss you,” he said to her, kissing her cheek.
I grinned, not sure what I was watching.
“Jeff is flying back to Seattle,” Claire said.
“And this one won’t come with me,” Jeff said. “I’ve been trying for years to get her to move up
there with me.”
“Years, huh?” I asked.
Claire smacked Jeff’s shoulder. “Stop. This is my home. Especially with Tinsley back home too.”
“Right,” I said. “Hopefully I won’t be here long and mess up anyone’s plans.”
“Oh, don’t say that,” Jeff said. “I’ll never get Claire out of here.”
“And you’ll never leave Seattle,” Claire said.
“Long distance must be tough,” I said.
“We make it work,” Jeff said. “Plus, I travel so much anyway… I’d never be home. It would
never work.”
Claire dug her hand into Jeff’s beard. “But we make it work, right?”
“Always,” he said. “I’m just happy to finally meet Tinsley.”
“Yeah,” I said. “I had no idea you were even here.”
“Surprise visit,” Jeff said.
“He showed up last night,” Claire said.
“Could only wait so long without Claire,” Jeff said.
“Must be hectic flying,” I said. “Grabbing last second flights and all that.”
Jeff laughed. “Ah, she’s humble. I have a private jet. I use that more than I use a car.”
“Oh,” I said.
“If you ever need to go somewhere, you let Claire know and I’ll arrange it,” Jeff offered.
How about a time machine so I can go back to my old life?
The voice that said stuff like that was getting smaller by the second.
“Well, I’ll let you two be,” I said.
“Stay and eat,” Jeff said. “In fact, I’m going to grab a shower. Coffee isn’t cutting it.”
“Long night?” I asked with a grin.
Jeff laughed.
Claire looked flustered.
She stood up and kissed Jeff.
He nodded to me and exited the kitchen.
Claire ran right at me, grabbed my arm, and dragged me to the piano room.
“Something wrong?” I asked with a playful smile.
“Don’t.”
“Daughter?”
“I said don’t.”
 “No,” I said. “You have to tell me something about that one.”
Claire sighed. “Jeff… he’s the one.”
“The one?”
“The one who gets to me. Okay? He’s the one who reduces me to nothing. In a good way.”
“You love him?”
“Yeah,” Claire said. “Okay? I love him.”
“Then what about Pres’s father?”
“Don’t say it like that,” Claire said. “His name is Will.”
“I know you two…”
“It doesn’t matter, Tinsley,” Claire said. “My life. My business.”
“I get it,” I said. “I’m not judging. I was looking at the ocean this morning and saw someone…”
Claire’s eyebrows tilted together. “Oh?”
“That man in the car,” I said. “And then he was standing at the pool. He works for you. But he
looks at me weird.”
“Don’t worry about him,” Claire said.
“My point is it startled me and that’s why I came downstairs. And then Jeff just started talking to
me.”
“That’s what he does. The gift of the gab, right?”
“Sure,” I said.
“He knows about you,” Claire said. “He has a way of… I don’t know. I just talk when I’m around
him. Sorry that kind of surprised you the way it did.”
“Well, I’m happy you have someone you love. Wish you two were closer. Or could really be
together.”
“Me too,” Claire said. “But we agreed to not let life get in the way. Not to think about what we
can’t have and all that.”
“Sounds romantic,” I said.
“It works. We’re both so busy anyway.” Claire shook her head. “And why am I telling you this?”
Claire frowned. “You don’t need to hear this. You need to go learn. Go kiss some boys or something.”
If you only knew, Claire…
I laughed.
Claire pointed at me. “I’ll give you one quick warning. On the day Jeff leaves I’m a raging bitch.”
“Warning heard,” I said.
“Good.”
Claire walked by me and I reached for her hand. “Hey. Quick question before the raging bitch
comes out.”
“Tinsley…”
“Are you really my mother?”
Claire looked at me. “No.”
“Swear on it?”
“Swear on it,” Claire said. “It was easier to just tell Jeff you were my daughter. I don’t know
why. There was a time when he was serious about us getting together and I said I had a daughter and
needed to be here. It was a cheap lie and it stuck. I think of you as a daughter and that’s that. If the
conversation ever came up and I had to tell the truth, I know how to cover myself.”
“Okay. I just wasn’t sure. With so much going on…”
“Believe me, Tinsley, I wish I could tell you I was your mother. But I’m not. I swear. And if you
don’t believe me, just find a picture of your mother when she was your age. Identical.”
I was disappointed.
A part of me hoped there was a big secret waiting about my life.
That I was Claire’s daughter.
That I was entitled to Claire’s wealth.
Ugh.
I hated myself for thinking that way.
I went back through the kitchen, grabbed my coffee (which was once again freshly poured because
rich people loved their coffee hot and fresh), and went out to the pool.
I stood in the spot where I had seen that man.
Those thoughts of him were quickly erased when I found myself no longer outside alone.
I smelled smoke.
And where there was smoke there was… Barr.
And with Barr came Kip and Pres.
They were all dressed in black.
“Look at you,” I said. “You look like you’re going to a funeral.”
Pres nodded. “That’s exactly where we’re going, sugar.”

“F“Don’t
uneral?” I asked.
worry about it, girl,” Kip said.
“I am,” I said. “Who died?”
“This is out of respect,” Barr said. “I don’t even want to fucking go. Fucking asshole playing dirty
games and got his ass caught.”
“Who?” I asked.
“Hidden Creek High,” Pres said.
“Weslee Jackson?” I asked.
“No,” Kip said. “Not him. But the way he lives though…”
“Doesn’t matter,” Barr said.
“Well, do you have the name of who died?” I asked.
“Sugar, let it be,” Pres said. “We just wanted to come see you.”
“Wanted to make sure you had dry clothes this time,” Kip said with a grin.
“Yeah, funny,” I said. “Let’s just pretend someone didn’t die.”
“It’s nobody you knew, love,” Barr said.
“He had it coming to himself,” Kip said. “Like Barr said.”
“Wait,” I said. “He had it coming? How did this person die?”
“By not breathing anymore,” Pres said.
He reached for my chin and I swatted his hand away.
“No,” I said. “I’ve had a weird morning. I don’t need this shit right now.”
“Feisty,” Kip said.
“I can handle feisty,” Barr said.
“When you put yourself into a position where you can get hurt… sometimes you get hurt,” Pres
said to me.
 “Meaning?”
“Murdered,” Barr said.
“What?” I called out.
“You heard him,” Pres said.
“Someone at Hidden Creek High was murdered?”
“That’s right,” Kip said. “Honestly, we don’t even want to go. What happened… he got what was
coming to him.”
“Then why go?” I asked.
“To show face, love,” Barr said.
“So we don’t get accused of anything,” Pres said.
My jaw dropped.
Accused? Murder?
“Why would…”
“Just the way this war goes, girl,” Kip said. “They’ll point at us for it.”
“But you didn’t…”
“No,” Barr said. “We didn’t kill anyone.”
“But the cops will look, right?” I asked.
“Who knows what they’ll do,” Pres said. “Just wanted to see you before we leave.”
“We’ll be back later,” Barr said. “Stay out of trouble.”
“Yeah, of course,” I said.
Pres touched my chin again. He made me look at him.
His eyes were so dark. So sexy.
Were they capable of murder?
Murder?
My body shivered and started to shake as they walked away.
I looked down at the pool and watched my own reflection rippling.
For every second I felt comfortable in BFH there was something there to surprise me.
These were the kinds of surprises I wanted though.
I would have rather been making out with Kip. Or Barr. Or Pres.
I looked over my shoulder and saw Claire and Jeff hugging each other. Claire looking up at him.
Jeff looking down at her. Knowing Claire spent time with Pres’s dad on the side. Maybe they had an
arrangement that when Jeff was gone it was okay to sleep around.
It was a lot to think about.
I should have just stayed in my fucking bed.
 fifteen

T he entire day felt way off.

All because of this funeral happening down in Hidden.
Nobody would speak the name of who was dead. It was just this big thing about someone
getting murdered. Everyone actually seemed scared by it. Making it a point to change the subject or
just point that that’s what happened in HCH and to stay away from that town, the school, and
everyone.
Between that, what happened with Claire (again), and not having the Rulz around, it was just a
strange day all around. Beth seemed really off and she was purposely distanced as she was following
Denny around. That pissed me off because of what Denny had done to her. And now she was going to
fall right back into that same old trap.
Not that I was one to talk.
I was still the prize of some made up bet.
My feelings getting all twisted up over nothing but fake, processed emotions.
There was nothing in my locker, which left me feeling let down. Or forgotten.
“Get it together, Ti,” I whispered with my head in my locker.
“Look, she’s talking to her imaginary friend.”
I shut the locker and turned to find Blair and Vicky standing there, arms crossed.
“Something you need?” I asked.
“Just making sure you understand what’s happening,” Blair said.
“That you two are wasting space and valuable oxygen?” I asked. “Or better yet… you two are
prepping for a life of begging some old guy with a big bank account to save you from realizing just
how useless you are?”
“Oh, she’s got attitude now,” Vicky said. “Must be the street trash version of herself showing
through.”
“Exactly,” I said.
“Let me make something clear,” Blair said. She pointed at me. “What happened at HCH was
because of a new girl. Just like you.”
“A new girl? I thought a guy was killed.”
“That’s true,” Vicky said. “But rumor has it that it happened because of a girl. A new girl.”
“Wes’s girl,” Blair said.
“She killed someone?” I asked.
“No. But Wes is in hot water.”
 “He didn’t do it though,” Blair said. “But it’s going to get messy. I heard…” Blair looked at me.
“Can you walk away now? I’d like to talk to my friend.”
“This is my locker, bitch,” I said. “You take a fucking walk.”
“Whatever,” Vicky said. “Just watch yourself. Don’t want to get anyone killed here.”
I curled my lip.
“We’re just trying to help,” Blair said. “Eventually, you need to leave. Hopefully soon.”
The two trotted away and I walked right for the door.
I was done with BFH for the day.
I wasn’t in the mood for anything else. No more rumors. No more drama. No more talking about
someone getting murdered. Or who did it. Or the funeral. And yet nobody wanted to speak any names.
Like it was some big, bad secret.
Yet the Rulz were at the funeral.
I found myself wandering into the large garden where I had first been treated to being surrounded
by Pres, Barr, and Kip. That was the day I tried to get away, ran into Kip, and he set me up to be seen
by the other two.
It was almost hard to imagine what had happened in my life since that moment.
And what was going to happen.
That answer appeared in the form of Pres.
Walking from the opposite side of the garden.
Hands in his pockets, head down, alone.
“Hey,” I said.
Pres froze and looked at me, surprised. “Sugar. What are you doing here?”
“Trying to get away from this place. Too much noise. And nobody wants to talk about what’s
happening.”
Pres nodded. “That’s because it doesn’t matter. Nothing to worry about here.”
“You sure?”
“Positive,” Pres said. He slowly inched toward me. “Anything happen while we were gone?”
“Three guys grabbed my ass,” I said. “I slept with two of them. I’m engaged to the third. And, I
might be pregnant.”
Pres’s lip curled. “Is that a joke?”
“Yeah, Pres, it is. Learn how to take a joke.”
Pres took his hands from his pockets. His right hand held my chin. “I don’t do jokes, sugar.”
“Then what do you do?” I asked, knowing I was flirting.
But screw it.
I needed it.
I needed the distraction.
I needed Pres.
He brought his lips down to mine.
The word whore flashed for a second in my head.
Here I was, back to kissing all three of the Rulz.
But they were good. So, so, so good.
Pres’s lips were soft and commanding. He gently pushed my chin away to make me break the kiss.
“Anyone fucking touches you and I will kill them,” he whispered.
“I feel bad for Barr and Kip then,” I whispered back.
“You know exactly what I mean, sugar.”
 “Yeah… and I would exactly love to know what your plans are here, Pres. The three of you… and
me…”
Pres looked around. “I think you’re right. This place is feeling a little crazy today. Let’s go.”
“Go? Where?”
“Away from here.”
“Just you and me?”
“Is that a problem?” Pres asked.
“Not at all,” I said.
“Good. I wasn’t going to give you a choice.”
“Where are we going?”
Pres pulled me close to him. “That’s a secret in life, sugar. Sometimes you don’t need to go
somewhere to be somewhere. You just go.”
His words eased into my heart in a dangerous way.
He was comfort, protection, power, and lust all swirled together into this rich bad boy.
And I was following him.
At least my tongue wasn’t wagging like I thought it was in my mind.

T he motorcycle was super sleek. Black with neon red stripes all along the body. It wasn’t a rough
and tough biker’s kind of motorcycle. It had a wide back wheel and looked built for intense
speed. The kind of motorcycle that was quiet and fast. Not the growling kind that you’d see in some
outlaw show.
“I’m getting on that?” I asked.
“Yeah, sugar, you are,” Pres said.
He handed me a helmet that would cover my head and face. With a flip-up visor.
I slowly put the helmet on, feeling almost claustrophobic for a second or two at the feel of it
constricting against my head and face. Obviously I wasn’t going to get on the motorcycle without the
helmet.
Pres put a similar all black helmet on his head.
He then climbed on the ride and waited for me to do the same.
I acted as though I was stepping over fire, moving awkwardly with my heart racing.
My hands grabbed his shoulders but I realized that wasn’t going to work. So I moved my hands
down to his sides and then around his body. I interlocked my shaking fingers as he started the
motorcycle and began to go.
The engine was quiet and powerful.
The twists and turns through the parking lot of BFH were enough to toss my stomach around,
leaving me feeling a little seasick and with butterflies everywhere.
The second Pres got the ride out on the road, he took off.
I tried to scream but lost my breath at the feeling of the sudden speed.
I knew if I moved my hands I could fly off the back of the motorcycle and that would be it for me.
He was going faster by the second with no intention of slowing down at all. The motorcycle screamed
with powerful force. All at the hands and command of Pres.
It was like going from zero to a thousand in seconds.
Which was dramatic.
 But I had never been on a motorcycle before.
When Pres took the first bend in the road, I thought we were going to fall. The motorcycle went
low to the ground. So low that I shut my eyes, waiting for the feeling of the road to start ripping apart
my clothes and skin.
That never happened.
Pres knew how to ride.
And it was obvious I wasn’t the first girl to be on the back of his ride.
My fear of the motorcycle was then replaced with another touch of jealousy.
There was nothing I could do about it though.
I was at the mercy of Pres and wherever our destination was.
We blasted far away from BFH and started to climb the twisty beach roads. With each bend, Pres
took the turn without slowing down. And with each bend, I kept feeling the sinking feeling that we
were going to crash.
On my right were mountains made of rock. On my left was a cliff that went down to the ocean.
My fingers had a death grip together on Pres’s shirt.
And he just kept going.
Cruising really fast along the coast.
We started a small descent and I felt our speed slowing down. Not enough that I felt safe but at
least it wasn’t the crazy, blinding speed.
Pres pulled to the side of the road and stopped.
Without hesitation, I jumped off the motorcycle and ripped off the helmet. I handed it to him,
tempted to slap him across the face for the way he had been riding. Instead, I turned and walked to the
guardrail and looked to the ocean.
I took deep breaths, reminding myself to calm down. To just focus on the water and relax. I was
alive. Everything was okay. At least in the sense of not being killed in a violent, fiery motorcycle
accident.
“Not a fan of the speed, sugar?” Pres asked me.
“Don’t know,” I said. “Wasn’t expecting that.”
“The way I see it… if you’re going to ride it, ride it.”
I looked up at him. “Yeah?”
“Problem?”
“You tell me.”
“Not anymore,” he said. “Want to do something fun?”
“Fun? You and the word fun don’t seem to get along.”
“Try me, sugar,” Pres said.
He offered his hand.
I took it.
I wasn’t sure how to feel about it.
It was like I was with a different part of the Rulz.
Pres walked from the side of the road to the thick rocks. He guided me down where the rocks
turned into sand and it was a much easier climb down to the beach than I thought it would be.
“Are we allowed here?” I asked Pres.
He looked back and grinned.
I wasn’t sure what that was supposed to mean.
There was no real choice but to just stay with him.
 When we got to the flat part of the beach, Pres slipped his arm around me and pulled me close as
we walked.
“You need to stop worrying so much, sugar,” he said.
“Have you seen the way my life has been, Pres?”
“And what’s that?”
“Games, Pres. Games. I don’t think BFH is worried about secrets or rumors. But you all love
games.”
“I think we prefer to deal with the truth on our own terms,” he said. “There’s a difference.”
“Yeah? Kind of like your father cheating on your mother? And it’s just totally okay? For the
record, Claire is in love with someone else. I met that guy too.”
“You think that’s love?” Pres asked with a laugh. “My old man has a thing in every goddamn city
across this country. And across the world. What’s it matter to you so much?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “Maybe because I never knew my father. I never had a normal family. And
then I see you… I mean, it’s not my business, but it just bothers me. Mother, father, son. Rich parents.
Rich kid. And you look the way you look…”
“Meaning?”
“Really? You need me to say it?”
“Say what, sugar?” he asked with a smirk.
“You’re fucking gorgeous, Pres. And you know it. I’m not the first to say it and I won’t be the
last.”
“So just because my parents are married and rich it’s supposed to be happily ever after?”
“No,” I said. “But in my mind it sure as hell makes sense.”
Pres stopped walking. “You know, you’re breaking the law right now, sugar.”
“How so?” I asked.
“This area here is private.”
“A private beach?” I asked.
Pres nodded to a sign that warned of what he said.
“How do you own the beach?”
Pres grinned. “You just do.”
“So now what? You going to call the cops on me? Set me up to get me in trouble?”
“No. I’m going to fix it.”
“Fix what?”
Pres touched my chin and brought his lips down to mine. With one soft kiss he stole my breath
away.
“This is my beach,” he whispered. “And as long as I invite you to join me, you’re not breaking the
law.”
“This is yours?”
“Yup.”
“And what’s the catch?”
“There is no catch, sugar.”
“That’s a lie,” I said. “There’s always a catch. You don’t need to be rich to know that.”
“Fine. You’re going to do what I say.”
“How cliché.”
“It works.”
“So I’ll ask you the same thing I asked Barr and Kip… is this your routine? You grab a girl, scare
her half to death on your motorcycle, then bring her to your private beach?”
“Why do you worry about that shit?”
“Answer me.”
“You answer me. You’re always worried about the surroundings. What’s the difference if I
brought a hundred girls up here or just one? You’re the one here now.”
I hated that he was right.
I hated that he could get to me and get through me.
“Whatever,” I said. “Show me what you’ve got then.”
Pres smiled. He stole another kiss. “Someday you’re going to regret saying that to me, sugar.”

“THehat?” I asked Pres.

handed me another helmet. “Yours.”
“What am I supposed to do with that?”
“Ride it,” he said.
“No.”
“Fine,” he said. “I’m taking mine out. It’s really fun.”
There were two black four-wheelers just sitting there on the beach.
To me Pres had this entire thing all planned out and already set up.
Duh, Ti…
“I’ll show you what to do,” Pres said. “You start it. Then kill the brake here…” Pres pointed.
“Then shift. Everything is automatic on it. And then press the throttle. Just be careful there so you
don’t get too much at once.”
“Pres…”
“I’ll see you around, sugar,” he said.
He put a helmet on and jumped on his four-wheeler. And in one smooth motion, he started the
thing and took off. Kicking up sand at me as he turned left to right, leaving a trail in the sand.
I knew he wasn’t going to stop either.
This was Pres.
“Shit,” I whispered to myself.
I hurried to put the helmet on my head and repeated everything Pres said to do.
And it worked.
I had the four-wheeler started and was slowly creeping forward on the beach.
It took me a few seconds to gauge the throttle but I was doing it. I was riding a four-wheeler on
the beach.
And damn if it didn’t make me smile.
The faster I went, the freer I felt.
I sped up to a point where my heart was racing really fast.
And I was able to catch up to Pres as he was waiting for me way down near the water.
We rode the four-wheelers side by side in the wet sand.
I darted forward and made him chase me down.
I cut into the dry sand and really hit the throttle, challenging myself.
It was probably one of the most fun times I could ever remember.
Eventually Pres had to cut me off and he yelled over the engines.
 “Follow me,” he said. “Trust me.”
He took off again and I was right on his tail.
Pres was so big… not just in muscle and strength either. But the way he acted, dressed, and
talked. I did not see this side of him appearing.
But here it was.
Pres finally stopped near a set of rocks that collected all the way into the ocean.
He turned off the engine and climbed off the four-wheeler.
I did the same.
“Now what?” I asked him.
“Now we get down to the reason we’re here, sugar.”
“Which is?”
Pres’s lip curled. “The fucking truth, Tinsley.”
 sixteen

M y heart sank way down into the sand.

I was really far from home now.
Far from BFH. Far from Claire’s house.
I was even far from the road.
It was just me and Pres.
He had masterfully lured me away from everything and everyone.
“What kind of truth?” I asked him, my voice shaking.
“Why you’re here. Why I’m here.”
I nodded.
Maybe this was his move. To tell me about the bet. To confess what he, Barr, and Kip had been
doing behind my back all along. Which then would allow me to confess to him that their entire bet
was based on bad information. There was nothing innocent about me and there was nothing to take.
Pres leaned against the back of his four-wheeler. “You said you never met your father. Is that why
you’re so worried about your mother?”
“What?”
“Answer me.”
I swallowed hard. “I don’t know. I mean, it’s… it was always just me and her. And I watched her
struggle for years. And if she struggled, I struggled. I guess in my mind it’s always me and her.”
“That’s why you’re living with Claire,” Pres said.
“Yes.”
“What do you want out of life?”
I laughed. “Are you serious? You bring me all the way out here for that? To ask me that kind of
question. I can’t answer that, Pres.”
“Nothing comes to mind?” he asked.
“Why? Why does that matter to you?”
“Because it fucking does, sugar. And maybe because you matter to me. How’s that sound?”
“I matter to you?”
“Yeah,” he said.
“I’m just something new,” I said. “Something different. That’s it.”
“That’s it, huh?”
“Trust me, Pres. It is. I can disappear tomorrow and you’d be off to someone else. You probably
have a list, don’t you?”
 “A list of what?”
“Names, Pres. You’re not the kind of guy that just goes after one. Barr and Kip? They probably do
it that way. Because they can laugh off anything that happens. But not you. You’re too calculated for
that.”
“So now we’re talking about me, sugar?”
“Appears so,” I said.
“Keep going then. I’d love to hear your thoughts and theories.”
“No thoughts and theories, Pres. Just the truth. Everything I just said.”
“And that’s that, right? You feel good now? That you’ve cracked me open a little?”
I laughed. “I’m not here to crack you open.”
“But you are here, sugar.” Pres pushed from the four-wheeler and stepped toward me. “You’re
thriving in this. The attention. No matter what we throw at you. Show you. You stand right there and
accept it.”
“Is that a problem?”
“No,” Pres said. “It’s cute. It’s sexy. In some ways, it drives me a little crazy for you.”
I swallowed hard.
Everything just took a sudden turn to oh-shit-this-is-serious.
“So now you’re asking me about my entire life,” I said. “What I want.”
“Maybe I understand what it feels like to see it get wasted away.”
“What get wasted away?”
“Life, sugar,” Pres said.
“Your life got wasted away? Or is?”
Pres touched my chin.
His face never looked so serious, which was saying something for Pres.
His eyes still so intense but maybe (just maybe) they were letting up a little. Showing me a
different side. The side of the guy who liked to ride four-wheelers on the beach.
Pres slowly shook his head.
“What?” I asked.
“Since you’re so worried about my father. And my family. Because we have to be the rich, perfect
family to you, right?”
“Pres…”
“It’s okay,” Pres said. “I’ll tell you exactly why my father does what he does.”
I shook my head. “You don’t have to-”
“Sugar… my mother is dying.”

P res being Pres, he planted a kiss to my lips and then walked away.
Leaving me standing there with his words echoing through my head.
His mother was dying?
What did that mean?
Are you stupid, Ti? It means his mother is dying.
I argued with myself in my head.
I know that! I’m asking, how is she dying?
 “Pres,” I finally managed to say. “What does that mean?”
Pres sat on the side of the seat to the four-wheeler and looked out at the ocean.
“They were I guess what you would call a power couple,” Pres said. “At least that’s what I heard.
They were vicious, ruthless, powerful. In fact, they met battling over a piece of land. My father took
everyone down involved in the deal, but my mother refused to back off. So he took her to dinner one
night. His plan was to warn her to back off. Kind of like being a friendly dickhead.”
Pres paused.
I laughed in my head.
At least I knew where Pres got his charm from then, huh?
“My mother refused to back down,” Pres said as he looked at me. “She ordered the most
expensive thing off the menu. Ate it. Then threw her wine at him. She walked out and he went after
her. I guess it was all cliché love at first sight from there. They ended up spending the night together.
They agreed to split the land deal. Made a good chunk of change off it. And they never looked back.”
Pres grabbed the handlebar of the four-wheeler that was closest to him and he squeezed it tight,
shaking his head.
“He legit knows Claire through real estate stuff,” Pres said. “Not that it makes it okay to be
playing in her panties. He probably used the same words and moves on Claire that he did my mother.”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“For what?” Pres asked. “You have nothing to do with it. Neither do I.”
“It’s still courtesy to say sorry.”
“Stop being fucking courteous then,” Pres said.
I stiffened and nodded. “Is your mother…”
“She’s alive,” Pres said. “But nobody talks about it. To my father, it’s a sign of weakness. Same
for her too.”
“Weakness?”
“She’s got ALS, sugar,” Pres said.
“Oh, Pres,” I said.
“Don’t do that to me,” he said as he stood back up. “I’m just telling you what you want to hear.
Not sure what you know about the disease, but it’s pretty fucked up to watch. She gets weaker by the
day it seems. And there’s no amount of money that could fix this. She’s done everything possible.
Every treatment. Traveled the world to see the best doctors. You can’t write a check to make
something like that go away.”
I nodded. “Wow.”
“Wow. And to them, the admittance of disease and dying is just too much for their reputation.
Which is why everyone sometimes wonders where my mother is. So they feed the rumors. Like
they’re the ones our age, sugar. I’ve heard all kinds of stories. That she’s traveling the world. That
she’s just enjoying life at home. Hell, it’s sometimes easier to just let people think my father is a
rotten prick. Or that they are secretly split up. I just ignore it.”
“To be fair, your father is a rotten prick,” I said. “He’s cheating on your mother.”
“He’s just taking care of himself,” Pres said. “And it really doesn’t matter to me.”
I didn’t understand how it didn’t matter.
Then again, I said those same words a hundred times.
It doesn’t matter what Mom does to herself. That’s her body. Not mine. If she wants to put that
crap into her arms then let her. I don’t care what happens. Even if she dies…
I didn’t say anything to Pres though.
 I just went to his side and reached for his hand.
My hand slipped into his.
I looked up at him.
He looked down at me, his lip curled. Almost the same look he gave me the first time we met.
“What?” he asked.
“Forget everything you think you feel, Pres. I’m sorry about your mother. That’s shit. And it’s
sad.”
“Are you sad right now?”
“Maybe.”
“Maybe you should toughen up then.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t be such an asshole then.”
“Not going to happen, sugar,” Pres said.
He tried to walk away but I didn’t let him go.
I gave a quick pull which was nothing compared to his strength.
He pulled me along, looking back, smiling.
I tripped and fell to the sand, still holding his hand.
Of course that was the moment Pres decided to laugh.
An actual laugh.
“Are you kidding me?” I called out. “You’re laughing at me right now?”
“Look at you, sugar,” he said. “Begging to know about my life. Falling in the sand. Refusing to let
my hand go.”
“Why’s that funny?” I snapped.
Pres laughed even harder.
I never heard him like that ever.
He then took a step toward me and dropped to his knees.
Right there in the sand with me, still holding my hand.
With his free hand, he skipped touching my chin like he always did. Instead, his strong fingers slid
to the back of my neck and he pulled me right to him.
“You okay?” he whispered. “Break your ankle or anything?”
“No, Pres,” I whispered. “Nothing is broken.”
“Yet,” he said with a sly grin.
He kissed me before I could ask what that comment meant.
The way he kissed was just so… something.
It was everything Pres was in real life.
Perfect, strong, commanding.
Yet there was a little playful side when he broke the kiss so he could just kiss around my lips. Soft
and gentle kisses that sent feelings throughout my entire body. To my right the ocean waves pounded
to the shore. In my head, I told myself we were on a private beach. One that Pres owned. Meaning
nobody would be coming here. Nobody would see us. I thought about the four-wheelers. What would
it be like for him to…
Pres kissed me again, stealing my thoughts.
I wanted him. I craved him. And I ached for him. In a way that actually scared me. As though I
were untouched and was making the decision to let everything happen.
I walked on my knees in the sand to get closer to him.
When my body pressed against his, I could literally feel him.
 His hand moved from the back of my neck to my face and he cupped my chin and pushed me away.
Our eyes locked and that was it.
Another one of those moments. My body and heart making the decision to scream yes to him. To
let him think he was winning what he wanted but it was me who was winning. He could command the
kiss or maybe make the next move, but I was the one who had the real power.
He kissed me again, forcing his hand away from mine.
He cupped my face with both hands, taking more control.
It was like he could sense something about me and wanted to make sure I knew who he was.
He was tall, strong, and had more power than I ever saw someone have in my life. His mother
was dying of ALS. All the while his father traveled as though things were normal, sleeping around,
enjoying his fortune.
My hands touched his chest.
So big and strong.
I hurried my hands down and had to touch skin.
Bare, hard skin.
I forced my hands under his shirt and felt just that. The ripples of his stomach muscles that acted
like a ladder for my fingertips to climb. Then my hands moved over his chest again, but kept going,
needing to feel and claw at his shoulders.
It probably looked awkward with his shirt forced up the way it was, but whatever.
Pres touched my wrists and forced my hands away.
He broke our kiss and put his forehead to mine and looked down.
I watched as he did the same thing to me.
His hands moving down over my chest.
Even over my shirt, his touch to my chest sent heat soaring throughout my body.
He touched the bottom of my shirt and his fingers peeled my shirt away from my body so his right
hand could go under it. His hand against my bare skin made me suck in a breath and forget how to
exhale it.
“Breathe, sugar,” Pres whispered. “I haven’t even started to make you lose your breath yet.”
That comment alone left me melting into the sand.
I actually touched my own shirt. Tempted to take it off.
There had to have been a better place though for this.
“Pres,” I whispered. “I want…”
His fingertips touched the edge of my bra. Digging to get under, going right for me.
I gasped and shut my eyes.
“Yes,” I whispered.
I was losing myself to him.
Fuck… I had already lost everything… to all of them…
I opened my mouth to tell Pres he had to make a decision. Take me there or take me somewhere
else to take me.
We both heard the sound of an engine.
It wasn’t a four-wheeler though.
And it wasn’t someone on the beach.
Pres quickly stood up, taking everything away from me. His lips. His hands. His body.
I looked up, feeling shaky and desperate.
“Pres…”
 “Fuck,” he growled.
The engine sound got louder and then took off.
It sounded familiar.
And when Pres looked down at me, I realized why.
“Sugar, someone just decided to steal my ride.”

P res had me get on the back of one of the four-wheelers, telling me he would have someone take
care of the other one later.
He sped along the beach to the spot where we could walk and climb to get back up to the road.
My heart raced like crazy.
For plenty of reasons.
Which seemed to be the trend when dealing with the Rulz.
Pres held my hand tight as we rushed to get back up to the road.
When we did, his motorcycle was gone.
“Fuck,” he whispered.
“Who would do this?” I asked.
It was kind of shocking.
Someone stealing from Pres? Whoever it was, was going to get their ass kicked. No, that wouldn’t
be good enough. Remember, the first time I saw Pres, he was trying to drown someone in the ocean.
Pres looked up and down the road. He slowly shook his head. “Nobody knows about this place.”
“Obviously someone does,” I said.
He looked at me, pissed off.
I heard a horn honking and turned my head and did a double take.
There was a SUV coming up the road now.
Window down.
A familiar face and set of blue eyes looking at us.
Kip was smiling ear to ear, beeping the horn like a fool.
He cut across the road and stopped.
He leaned out of the SUV and looked at Pres, then at me.
“Need a ride?” he asked.
“How did you…”
I let the question trail off.
The smile on Kip’s face told me everything.
“Where’s Barr?” Pres asked in a cold voice.
“I think he went for a ride,” Kip said.
Pres shook his head. “That’s the game you want to play right now?”
“Me?” Kip asked. “Don’t look at me, brother. I’m here to save your ass. Well, mostly Ti’s ass.
Hers is much nicer than yours.”
My jaw slowly dropped.
Brother? Kip saying Pres has a nice ass? Barr playing a joke on Pres?
My head started to swirl again.
It was like they wanted to show a different side of themselves to me.
 Like they weren’t complete and total bad ass dickheads all the time. That they could let loose for
a second and mess around with each other. As friends. True friends.
“Barr stole Pres’s motorcycle?” I asked.
“Appears that way, girl,” Kip said. “And last time I checked it’s a long damn walk home.”
“Come on, sugar,” Pres said as he put his hand to my back.
“This is crazy,” I said.
“You’ll see crazy soon enough when I get my hands on Barr,” Pres said.
He led the way to the SUV and opened the back door for me.
When I climbed in I didn’t expect him to follow me. I figured he would sit in the front seat next to
Kip.
“Move over, sugar,” he whispered. “I’m not done with you yet.”
I swallowed hard and inched across the seat to make room for Pres.
When I went a little too far, he put a hand to my leg and stopped me.
He wanted to be extra close to me.
My teeth chattered for a few seconds as I tried to catch my breath.
Kip looked in the mirror at me, that wicked bad boy grin on his face.
“Let’s go find Barr,” Kip said.
Pres moved his hand to my inner thigh on my bare leg.
I sucked in a breath.
Pres stared at me. “Hey, Kip… take the long way home…”
 seventeen

K
feel… relief.
ip drove fast.
Pres kept his hand on my inner thigh. He flirted in a way that was really unfair. Because
I wasn’t only falling for it, I wanted it. I didn’t give a shit about their bet. I just wanted to

In more than one way too.

When I looked up at Pres, his eyes stared down at me with intention.
So I stared forward.
I put my hands to the seat and felt my grip going tighter as Pres decided to flirt more by inching
up. His fingertips had no issue with cutting under my shorts. Reaching an area that was meant to be
covered for good reason.
I tried to take a slow breath.
But that was impossible to do.
I turned my head to the right and looked out the window. The sight of everything whipping by so
fast made my eyes hurt and my stomach feel sick.
So I had to stare forward again.
Pres’s fingertips brushed along the thin line of my panties. The only piece of clothing left that kept
him from actually touching me.
I told myself I was fine. Staying calm. Not giving anything away.
Except my lower back started to arch as my body decided to have a mind of its own. Wanting Pres
to touch me. Wanting Pres to give me the allusive sense of relief I was desperate for.
My cheeks warmed up as his fingertips began to move along the edge of my panties.
Kip quickly hit the brakes on the SUV, sending us forward.
I thought for sure that meant Pres was going to end up inside me. That thought alone made my
cheeks burn hotter.
Instead, Pres took his hand away and reached for the seat to keep from crashing into it.
Kip then turned his head. “Sorry. Thought I saw a bear.”
“A bear?” I asked.
“Fucking asshole,” Pres said in a deep voice.
My heart picked up more speed.
They were really messing with each other.
All for me.
Because of me.
 To get to me.
“Just fucking drive, Kip,” Pres said.
“You probably should sit over there, girl,” Kip said, nodding to the seat behind the passenger
seat. “Safer there.”
A car behind us beeped.
“You’re in the middle of the road,” I said.
“Exactly,” Kip said. “I won’t risk your life, Tinsley. I couldn’t sleep knowing something bad
happened to you.”
The car beeped again.
Kip looked at Pres and winked.
I let out a sighing scoff kind of sound and slid across the backseat.
Pres just stared forward, stoic and pissed off.
The car behind us beeped and kept beeping until they made a dangerous move and cut into the
oncoming lane and sped off.
“I hope he threw you the finger,” I said to Kip.
Kip laughed and looked back at me one more time. “I bet you like getting the finger, huh?”
I turned my head.
I was on fire.
Angry.
But not the kind of anger where you wanted to fight someone.
This was a whole new anger.
It was a… turned on anger.
I was so fucking turned on.
By all of them.
I could picture in my head Barr smoking a cigarette, speeding around on Pres’s motorcycle,
knowing he was messing up Pres’s chance with me. And then Kip just casually showing up to save us.
And knowing the exact moment when to slam on the brakes to make sure Pres didn’t go too far.
And Pres… he was just himself.
Not to mention the more human side of him showing really did something to me. Knowing he
wasn’t just rich and perfect. That there was something else there too.
The ride back to Claire’s was in silence.
Kip parked the SUV sideways just outside the black gates of the driveway.
“Home sweet home,” Kip said.
“Where’s my fucking ride?” Pres asked.
He opened the door and got out.
Kip and I did the same and there was no hint of Pres’s motorcycle or Barr anywhere.
Of course my mind went worst case.
Thinking Barr got into an accident and got hurt.
That was put to bed when we all heard the distant cry of the motorcycle.
It grew louder and then Barr appeared… but only for a second.
He was flying down the road and went by in a blue blur.
Pres walked right out into the street and stood there.
“Oh, shit,” Kip said as he inched toward me.
“You’re an asshole, Kip,” I said.
“Wasn’t my idea, girl. I think Barr got a little nervous. Worried about you seeing the other side of
Pres.”
“What for? You think I’m going to choose one of you? You’re going to be my boyfriend or
something?”
Kip laughed.
And didn’t say anything else.
Barr turned around somewhere up the road and came speeding back.
Pres had no intention of moving out of the way.
I watched as the funniness of everything was stripped away in a second.
Barr sped toward Pres. Pres refused to move.
“Move!” I called out.
Pres didn’t listen.
I looked at Barr and yelled, “Slow down!” even though I knew he couldn’t hear me.
I ended up grabbing Kip’s hand, thinking the other two were going to end up killing each other.
At what felt like the last second, Barr slowed and turned the motorcycle. It skidded sideways and
he spun around one full time before stopping completely.
Barr climbed off the motorcycle and took the helmet off, tossing it to Pres.
Pres caught it and dropped it.
Then he lunged at Barr.
“Ohmygod,” I said as Pres punched Barr right in the jaw.
Barr swung back, clipping Pres’s cheek.
They then got tangled up, pushing at each other, trying to win the fight.
“Stop it,” I said to Kip. “Make them stop.”
“I bet if you lift your shirt they will,” he said.
“Fucking asshole,” I said and broke away from Kip.
I ran out in the street but stopped.
What the hell was I going to do?
They were huge. Strong. And angry.
“You know what?” I called out. “Fuck you both. All three of you actually. I hope you kill each
other.”
I walked from the street toward the gates.
They made a click sound and started to slowly open.
I had to get out of the way.
When I saw the approaching car, I looked over my shoulder and realized something.
I needed the Rulz to protect me.

I ran to Kip and he quickly put his arm around me.

“Look, they’re fine now,” he said.
Barr was lighting up a cigarette. He took a drag and rubbed his chin.
Pres walked his motorcycle from the middle of the road.
I slipped to get in front of Kip.
“Trying to hide?” he asked. “Or rubbing on me?”
“The car that’s coming…”
 The car had to maneuver around Kip’s SUV.
Which it did.
I made the mistake of looking.
When I did, the man behind the wheel looked right at me.
Again.
And it was the same feeling as always.
This strange, creepy feeling.
He stared right at me, slowing down to get a good look at me.
“Who the fuck is that?” Kip asked.
“I don’t know, Kip.”
Kip looked back at Pres and Barr and nodded.
They forgot all about their fight and came rushing to my aid.
The three of them blocked me.
I could see between them as the car started to speed up.
The man behind the wheel must have realized who Pres, Barr, and Kip were.
“What the hell was that about, love?” Barr asked me.
“I don’t know who that man is,” I said. “But he scares the hell out of me.”
“He knows Claire?” Pres asked.
“He works for her I guess,” I said. “That’s what she told me. He’s never said anything to me
though. I’ve never actually met him either. But when he sees me…”
“He slows down like that?” Barr asked.
“Yeah. He slows down and stares at me. It freaks me out.”
“We’ve got you, sugar,” Pres said.
“You sure?” I asked. “You two were ready to kill each other a minute ago.”
“That was for fun,” Barr said.
“Always for fun,” Kip said with a wink.
“You’re all jerks,” I said.
“You hear that, Barr?” Pres asked. “She called you a jerk.”
“You too, Pres,” Barr said.
“And me,” Kip said. “That’s a lot of jerks.”
I backed away and shook my head.
They went from cool friends to douchebag rich boys in the blink of an eye.
“Fuck off,” I said to all three.
I walked away and walked up the driveway by myself.
I knew damn well they were following me too but I didn’t care. And I sure as hell didn’t look
back either.
I had a point to prove.
And I did so by folding my arms, staring forward, and focusing on the house.
Just as I was about to get to the steps, Kip made a daring move with his SUV and cut me off.
He had the window down, showing me that Barr was in the passenger seat.
The back window slowly went down and Pres was sitting there.
“You left without a goodbye kiss, girl,” Kip said.
“Very funny,” I said.
“We’re not laughing, sugar,” Pres said.
“I guess you’ll have to figure that out for yourselves then,” I said.
 I sidestepped and Kip inched forward.
“Seriously, love,” Barr said as he leaned over Kip. “That guy in the car…”
“What about?” I asked.
“You really don’t know who he is?” Kip asked.
“I swear on my life I don’t,” I said.
“Answer truthfully,” Pres said.
“I just did.”
“No, not to that. To this… when you asked Claire about him, did she seem off at all?”
“What kind of question is that?” I asked. “I don’t know how Claire acted. I’m the one on edge
around her most of the time. I’m crashing at her house.”
They all nodded.
“We never want you to feel the way you just did,” Kip said. “You were scared, girl.”
“I scared myself,” I said.
“Something about that guy bothers you though, love,” Barr said.
“Yeah? Your point?”
“We’ll make sure that doesn’t happen again,” Pres said.
“Oh yeah? How? Are you going sit outside the house and my bedroom window?”
“Something like that, girl,” Kip said.
He winked at me and started to drive away.
And he didn’t stop.
I laughed to myself.
So much for waiting and protecting me, huh?

“YI was
ou know, Ti, if you were any more distant you’d need a life raft to get home,” Iris said to me.
caught staring at my feet in the pool water.
Watching the water ripple and seeing how different my feet looked in the water.
Yet my mind was out to sea.
“She’s in love,” Gi said.
That got my attention. “Love?”
“I’m kidding,” Gi said, showing her hands. “Whoa.”
“Sorry,” I said.
“Don’t be,” Iris said. “If she’s acting like a bitch, tell her.”
Iris winked at me and nudged the bottle she brought toward me. It was fruity with a burn that went
from your throat to your stomach.
It was good.
The only flaw it had was that no matter how much of it I drank it didn’t chase away the Rulz.
How stupid of me to waste a perfectly good night with friends thinking about those assholes. The
thing was… each one had a certain something that just made me hooked. I loved that Barr had a
secret world of music. Watching him play piano and seeing the way people reacted to him… he could
do something with that. He could play shows. Or clubs. Or something.
And then with Kip.
Seeing him even more loose and flirty and funny. Surfing like he was competing. Oozing a sexy
confidence. Taking me to his favorite and secret place. Even when he pulled me on top of him and
was being goofy, it was still so hot. He was comfortable. Inviting. Warm. And the way his eyes
looked at me. Gi wanted to talk about love… I couldn’t help but seriously think that Kip loved me.
And Pres.
Oh, damn you, Pres. Damn. You. To. Hell.
“Hey, say something,” Iris said. “You look like you’re going to pass out.”
“Too many thoughts,” I said. “And this isn’t helping.” I waved the bottle at Iris before taking
another sip.
“Let’s go down to the ocean,” Gi said. “Run through the water and the sand. Maybe the sound of
the ocean will help.”
“Fuck that," Iris said. “The ocean sound?”
“I don’t know,” Gi said. She started to laugh.
I looked at Iris.
We both nodded.
Gina.
I pulled my feet out of the water and stood up.
The ground and the world started to move a little but I kept my balance.
“I want to know about them,” I said.
“Who?” Iris asked.
“The Rulz,” I said, wiggling my fingers. “Give me it all.”
“Like what?” Gi asked.
“Where did they come from? When did they become the Rulz?”
“I don’t remember,” Iris said. “They just did what they wanted. All the time. I could remember
Kip beating someone up in fourth grade.”
“Always in trouble,” Gi said. “One time, Barr was sent away. Remember that, Iris?”
“Yeah I do,” Iris said. “That was a big deal.”
“Sent away where?” I asked.
“A place called Brooks Crest,” Gi said. “That’s where really bad kids are sent. Scary place.”
“You never want to go there,” Iris said.
“Why did Barr come back?” I asked.
They both shrugged their shoulders. “He just did. And it was right around then that they were
called the Rulz. They didn’t make up the name either. Everyone else did. Just because of how they
were. Who they were.”
I shook my head. “I don’t get it.”
“You don’t have to,” Gi said. “They back up everything with action. You’ve seen it.”
“Why are we talking about this?” Iris asked. “It’s simple, Ti. You’re either going to fuck with
them or not. Everything they’re doing right now is to get your pants off. So whatever they are saying
or doing isn’t real. It’s a game to them. A joke. And trust me, if you decide to not do one of them,
they’ll move on. So fucking fast too.”
I swallowed hard and looked at Gi.
She nodded. “Iris is right.”
“Shit,” I said.
I walked away from the pool, hugging myself.
Iris was right.
Gi was right.
 My plan had been to mess with them and now I was too close. I was buying into it all. And I had
to stop. I had to remind myself it was all fake. Just like me being in BFH. It was fake. I wasn’t rich. I
was pretending to be rich. And Claire gave me the means to do that. And those means could vanish in
a second.
“I’m sorry, Ti,” Gi said.
“Yeah,” I said. “I don’t know what I was thinking when I got involved in all of this. I should have
stayed at the hospital with my mother. And then helped her from there like I always used to do.”
“No way,” Gi said. “You’re one of my best friends now. I can’t imagine you not here.”
“Stop saying that to me,” I said. “This isn’t my house. Claire isn’t my mother. Or family. I’m out
of here soon.”
“Then you might as well enjoy it,” Iris said, handing me the bottle.
“Hell yeah,” I said.
I put the bottle down and turned and ran for the pool.
As I dove into the air, I let out a scream.
I slammed into the water, fully clothed, and opened my eyes underwater.
There was a sea of bubbles dissipating that gave way to the super clear water.
I kicked my feet and popped up, throwing my wet hair behind my head.
I turned and waved to Gi and Iris.
They were standing near the edge of the pool.
“Come on,” I said. “Let’s swim.”
“You can swim,” Iris said. “I’ll stay dry.”
“Oh, come on, you love being wet,” I said. “I heard rumors about you.”
Gi laughed.
Iris looked at her. “I don’t see you swimming.”
“But you are,” Gi said.
She shoved Iris.
Iris let out a yell as she fell into the water.
Before she could pop up out of the water, Gi dove in head first.
And the three of us swam.
In our clothes.
Leaving our phones on the table on the patio.
Forgetting about everything in the world.
Splashing each other.
Laughing.
Just like friends would do.
Real friends.
True friends.
They were sort of now my best friends.

I told Gi and Iris to just sleepover.

But Iris was secretly pissed about her clothes and wanted to go home. She called for a ride
and Gi went with her. It stung a little because no matter what happened with the three of us Gi would
always take Iris’s side first. They had history. And that was cool.
It felt good to take a shower and get into fresh clothes.
I stood at my bedroom window and looked down at the pool.
A smile climbed across my face.
I tossed the towel to the floor and went downstairs to get water.
My buzz has mostly worn off by then.
We ended up swimming and forgot about drinking the rest of what Iris brought with her.
The house was dark and quiet.
I hadn’t seen Claire at all.
I wasn’t even sure if she was home.
Part of me thought about texting her but part of me wasn’t sure if it was worth it. She was either
home or away, right? Duh. And for all I knew, she could have been in a bed with Pres’s father. Which
was something I wanted to know nothing else of.
In fact, I wanted to know nothing else of the Rulz at all.
I wanted to show up to BFH and just be there. Deal with Beth and the hidden drama she had with
Gi and Iris. Deal with Blair and Vicky. And let everything else fall away.
I drank a glass of water.
As I reached for my phone, the screen lit up.
Outside. Now.
I shut my eyes.
It was a text from Pres.
I shook my head and replied.
No - tired - sorry
That was that.
Or not.
Pres wrote back.
You have to see this sugar. Now.
I groaned and didn’t bother replying.
Instead I went to the front door and opened it.
Pres stood at the bottom of the steps.
“What?” I asked.
“Have to show you something, sugar,” he said. “Get in.”
He opened the back door to the SUV.
I climbed into the back and Barr was waiting.
Kip was driving.
Nobody said a word to me though.
The mood was dark.
Dangerous.
Scary.
My heart started to race as Kip drove down the driveway.
The black gates were open and I didn’t want to know how they got up the driveway. Unless I
forgot to close the gates. Which was possible. I wasn’t used to being rich.
“What is this?” I asked.
“You’ll see, girl,” Kip said.
He didn’t drive all that far.
 But nobody would even look at me.
At least not until Kip pulled over and pulled up behind a car.
A familiar car.
“Don’t be afraid, love,” Barr said as he put his hand to mine.
I saw his knuckles were cut and bloody.
“What…”
My heart no longer raced.
I wasn’t even sure it was beating.
It was sinking, and sinking fast.
Kip and Pres got out of the SUV and Barr took his hand away from me.
He opened his door but didn’t get out. Instead he lit up a cigarette and sat sideways.
“Come on, sugar,” Pres said.
His voice was deep and vicious.
“What did you do?” I asked.
“Figured something out,” Kip said. “Tracked down the guy that made you feel threatened.”
“No,” I said.
“Yes,” Pres said.
He walked to the car and opened the back door.
I wasn’t sure what to expect.
The man who had been looking at me climbed out though.
His clothes were ripped to almost shreds. When he looked at me, his face was beat up. Busted
nose. Busted lip. Swollen left eye.
I turned my head away.
Oh, shit…
“We found him, girl,” Kip said. “And we made sure he won’t look at you again.”
“I told you I needed to talk to her,” the man said.
Pres stepped forward with a fist ready to explode again.
The man was so much older than the Rulz and yet they didn’t care.
“Don’t hit him,” I called out.
Pres grabbed the man by the shirt. “I told you already you don’t need to talk to her.”
“Who are you?” I asked the man.
He looked at me. “Teddy. Friends call me Tucker though.”
“Do you really work for Claire?”
“Yeah. I really do.”
“He won’t bother you anymore,” Kip said.
“Wait a second,” I said. “Who are you then? Why were you looking at me the way you did?”
“How can I not,” Tucker said. “You’re all grown up and beautiful, Tinsley.”
“What the fuck did I say about talking like that?” Pres roared.
He picked Tucker up to his feet and shook him.
“Let him go,” I ordered.
Pres let Tucker go and he fell to the ground.
He looked up at me, tired and beaten up.
“Who are you?” I asked him.
“It doesn’t matter, sugar,” Pres said.
“Yeah, who gives a shit?” Kip asked.
 “We wanted you to see this and know we are protecting you,” Barr added as he walked around the
front of the SUV and flicked his cigarette away.
The man looked up at me.
He slowly nodded.
“I was supposed to take it to my grave, Tinsley,” he said. “But I’ve got nothing left to lose now.”
“What does that mean?” I asked.
I sensed all three - Pres, Barr, and Kip - ready to unleash on Tucker again.
Tucker reached for me with a weak, worn, shaking hand.
“Tinsley… I’m… I’m your dad.”
 eighteen

I t had all gone too far.

And in a direction I never saw coming. In a direction nobody could have seen coming.
Or maybe that was a lie.
I thought about the moment I had been standing outside the hospital just to catch my breath for a
second. That was the moment Claire showed up. And she painted the picture for me to come live with
her. How easy it would be. I’d have a chance to taste the rich life and forget about my real life.
“Anything you want to say, you can say it, love,” Barr whispered.
His hand touched my hand.
I looked down at it again.
His knuckles were still swollen and still had dried blood on them.
Because the Rulz were out to protect me.
And by protecting me, they found the man who was my father and beat him up.
Just thinking that made me want to laugh because it seemed too farfetched.
“How do we know he’s telling the truth?” Kip asked. “He could have said that to get us to stop
kicking his lame ass.”
“Then we keep an eye on him,” Pres said.
“How about you two assholes shut up,” Barr said. “Think about Tinsley for a second.”
I heard their voices but had no intention nor desire to respond to them.
My head rested against the dark window of the SUV as Kip drove.
Tucker said he was my father. He insisted he was my father. And he knew things. He knew my
mother’s name. Anabel Ditkiss. He said his last name was Porter and he wished things had been
better so that I had his last name because Ditkiss was terrible. It was his attempt at a joke but nobody
laughed. Or even smiled. He knew things about places where we used to live.
It was convincing but it was everything Claire knew too.
And Tucker had been at Claire’s house how many times? At least three, four times I saw him. Let
alone how many times before I came to stay with Claire.
Barr’s hand moved along my hand.
Caring. Consoling.
Full of shit.
I pulled my hand away, the words on the tip of my tongue to end this thing between all of us. They
were out for something from me. I was out for something from them. And we’d never get it from each
other. So we were just wasting time. Wasting breaths. Wasting words. Wasting kisses that could have
been for someone we cared about. Wasting touches that could have been for a real moment.
“It’s your call, sugar,” Pres said from the front seat. “What you want us to do?”
I swallowed hard. “What would you do? Huh? Tell me. What would you do?”
Kip stopped the SUV right there in the middle of the road. Which he had done before.
Then I had all of them looking at me.
“Whatever you want us to do, girl,” Kip said. “You made it clear that guy made you feel uneasy.
So we tracked him down to figure out why he was looking at you.”
“And he kept saying he needed to talk to you,” Pres said.
“He wasn’t taking our message the way we wanted him to,” Barr added. “That’s why we came to
get you.”
“Just in case he was telling the truth about something,” Kip said.
“Now you tell us what you want us to do about it,” Pres said.
“You know what? I don’t know. I don’t have a fucking clue. Does that work for you?”
“That works,” Pres said.
“But if anything changes, you let us know, love,” Barr said.
My eyes scanned them.
It didn’t make sense.
Nothing made sense.
What was this?
Were they protecting me to keep me close so someone could win their bet?
“Just take me home,” I whispered.
Kip drove the rest of the way back to Claire’s in silence.
The SUV stopped at the front of the house and I opened the door.
“Anything you need, girl,” Kip said. “Remember that.”
I nodded.
I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to thank them or not.
In a way I probably should have.
If they hadn’t chased down Tucker, I would have never known who he was.
My dad? Tucker was my dad? And he worked for Claire?
I shivered as I walked the steps alone.
I didn’t bother looking back when I entered the house.
The truth was that I wanted them all.
I wanted Pres, Barr, and Kip.
But I wanted it to be real.
That was something it never would be.
Because that’s what Bay Falls High really was.
Nothing but fake.

I entered the house and wondered what I would say to Claire.

There wasn’t time to think or plan. Her house and BFH were really the only things I had in my
life. That was sad, but sometimes the truth was sad.
Like everything else I knew in life.
 Which meant… it didn’t matter what happened with Claire.
If Tucker was my father, then I wanted to know as much as I could about him.
I took the kitchen by storm and found a woman standing there.
“Where’s Claire?” I asked.
“She’s not home tonight,” the woman said.
“What are you doing here?” I snapped.
“This is my night to work here,” she said. “Prep food. Clean the kitchen. Make sure you have
something to eat too. Can I make you something?”
“Where is Claire?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Can you find out?”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t.”
“You can’t call her and tell her the house is on fire?”
The woman lifted an eyebrow.
I let out a breath.
“Sorry,” I whispered. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
“I’m sure you can get in touch with her better than I can,” the woman said.
I nodded. “Yeah. I just needed to talk to her right now. In person.”
“Are you okay?” the woman asked.
If I said No to her, then what? Would she magically have a way to contact Claire? Probably not.
She’d probably just help me use my phone to find Claire.
My lack of response didn’t stop the woman though.
“Let me make you something to eat,” she offered. “Anything you want.” She leaned forward and
smiled. Her cheeks were rosy and eyes brown. “I can even order a pizza. My treat.”
“No thank you,” I said. “I’m not hungry right now. Please do me a favor and forget everything I
just said to you. I’m fine.”
“I’ll be here if you need anything,” she said. “Well, food related. I’m good at advice too but I
don’t know how that would go over with Claire.”
I took a few steps and paused. “Hey. Is she hard to work for?”
“Claire? I’m not sure I’m comfortable answering that.”
“So she’s a real bitch to deal with,” I said.
“I didn’t say that at all,” the woman said. “I enjoy working here. And working for Claire. I prefer
to keep my professional opinions to myself. And just do my job.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Right.”
Claire wasn’t home.
So where was she then?
Maybe in Seattle falling more in love with Jeff. The guy she said was the one but yet did nothing
to actually turn it into something real. Or maybe she was out with Will. You know, the married man.
The man whose wife was home, dying of ALS.
My hands were tightly balled into fists by the time I made it to my room.
Excuse me, one of Claire’s five hundred bedrooms.
It wasn’t my room.
I was a guest in the room.
Nothing more.
Nothing less.
 Because the room had nothing of mine other than clothes.
I had my phone in my hand, wondering what to do next.
Text Claire?
Call Claire?
Fake an emergency to get her to come home?
“Or just do nothing,” I whispered.
I flicked my wrist and my phone went flying across the bed.
The fucking phone wasn’t even mine.
Because Barr threw my real phone into the pool.
The funny part was that my heart wasn’t even racing. It wasn’t even pounding.
I was cool.
Calm and cool.
I slowly sat down on the corner of the large bed.
The room was dark and quiet.
My thoughts the same.
My phone buzzed on the bed and I climbed back to check.
It was a text from Gi. She wanted me to come over. Her and Iris were going to do some midnight
swimming.
I didn’t bother replying.
Instead I let something happen that needed to happen.
I let myself fall into myself.
I let myself cry.
I thought about Mom. In the pantry closet of the apartment, almost dead. If I had walked around the
block one more time or stayed with Ruby for a little longer, then Mom would have… you know.
Would Claire have shown up then too?
Or would I have been just left to fend for myself for good?
I ended up hugging a pillow, crying, alone.
And I needed it.
Sometimes a good cry was the best kind of medicine.
But when the tears dried, they disappeared. Meaning there was no proof that I had been crying.
And with that out of my system, it came down to one thing.
My real feelings.
I was angry.
And everyone was going to know that really soon.

C laire wasn’t home in the morning.

That was fine with me.
I ate breakfast and left for BFH.
When I opened my locker, I let out a gasp. It had been a little while since the Rulz left me a
present.
This one was pretty intense.
A set of brass knuckles.
 The thick round rings were scary looking and I couldn’t imagine getting hit with those. It was
their way of telling me they were there. Ready to protect me. Ready to fight anyone for me. Even if
that included my father.
I shut my eyes and shook my head.
I should have stayed home and waited for Claire.
“Hey, stranger,” a voice said next to me.
“Beth,” I said. “Hey. How are you?”
“Better than you I think. What’s going on?”
“Too much,” I said.
“With the Rulz?” she asked in a whispery voice.
“That, and other things. Personal things.”
“Your mother? Is everything okay?”
I laughed. “Is everything okay? She’s a fucking junkie, Beth. Do you think she’s okay?”
Beth’s eyes went wide. “Ti…”
“You have no idea what it’s like.”
“I never said I did,” Beth said.
“Then don’t fucking ask about it.”
“Jesus, what’s your problem?” Beth asked. “I didn’t do anything to you.”
“I never said you did,” I mocked at Beth.
Her face dropped. “What the hell is going on with you?”
“This place,” I said. “Everything about it. Everyone is fake. Everything is fake.”
“So you’re saying I’m fake?” Beth asked.
“Take it for what it’s worth.” I slammed my locker door. “I don’t want to talk to anyone. That
includes you.”
“I didn’t do anything to you,” Beth said. “If anything I should be mad at you. For what you did
with Denny.”
“Denny? Seriously? You know what? This isn’t worth my time or my breath right now.”
“Yeah,” Beth said. “Because it’s all fake. Right?”
I turned and felt something slam into my chest.
It was so hard I lost my breath.
And it was so hard I went off my feet and fell to the floor.
The floor was hard.
My butt hurt.
I gasped to catch my breath.
I looked up at Vicky.
“Oops,” she said.
Blair pushed her out of the way and stepped toward me. “You want to scream about being fake,
bitch? You’re the most fake person I know.”
“Yeah?” I asked.
“You don’t have a dime to your name. You’re filthy poor. Your mother loves the needle more than
you. Then again, I don’t blame her. If I had to deal with you every single day of my life, I’d try to kill
myself too.”
I looked over my shoulder and Beth was gone.
I had chased her away.
Which was fine.
 I didn’t want anyone else getting hurt because of me.
I climbed to my feet and wasn’t going to back down from Blair. Or Vicky.
“Anything else you want to say?” I asked.
“Oh there’s plenty,” Blair said. “Whatever game you have with the Rulz, it’s over.”
“So that’s what this is?” I asked. “You’re hot for them? Jealous they’re after me?”
“Not even close,” Blair said. “I’m just helping you out. Think of me like a friend.”
“Friend?”
“Maybe it’s all you’ve got. Because you know you won’t be here much longer. Then you’ll be
back on the street with your mother. Holding up a sign, begging for food and change. Tell you what,
when that happens, let me know. I’ll be the first to give you twenty bucks. Just as long as I could take
your picture to remind everyone around here just how gross you really are.”
I nodded. “Keep going, Blair. I hope this makes you feel better.”
“Maybe I’ll knock you down again,” Vicky threw in.
“Face to face, let’s go,” I said.
Blair put her hand out. “Wait. She’s playing really hard. And that’s okay. She has to be hard.
Tough. Ready to fight. Nobody loves her. Nobody wants her. She’s all alone.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” I said
I turned and planned on walking away.
Then Blair pushed me.
I could feel her perfect fingernails gently push me.
And I knew what that was.
Her messing with me. Not giving me the time of day to really push me or attack me.
I hated her so much.
She suddenly represented everything BFH was.
If I turned, Vicky would have jumped in and fought me. If I kept walking, Blair would follow and
keep pushing at me.
So I did something else.
I turned and attacked.
Both of my hands raked at Blair’s face.
She screamed because that’s what she does.
I didn’t scream though.
I just started to swing.
My hands and fists landed a few times on Blair’s face before Vicky stepped in and grabbed my
hair. She pulled hard and my neck snapped to the side. My left hand swung, hitting Vicky in the face
next.
Now Vicky and I were tangled up, yet I was trying to break away to get back to Blair. I wanted to
put that bitch on the floor and show her what it felt like.
Time wasn’t on our side.
I gave it ten seconds before Jacobson would show up.
I didn’t bother counting because I was too busy fighting.
Jacobson did show up and called my name as loud as he could.
Tinsley. Fucking. Ditkiss.
Granted, he didn’t say the fucking part, but hearing my dumb name yelled so loud made me freeze
instantly. I jumped away from Vicky and she turned and grabbed Blair. They took off.
Jacobson turned and pointed but didn’t say anything.
 “I’ll deal with them later,” he said. Then he looked at me. “I’m going to deal with you first.”

T here was a leather couch at the back of Jacobson’s office and he told me to sit there.
So I did.
He sat in his chair which was way across the room from me.
Sideways, his right hand on the desk, fingers tapping away.
“Do I even want to ask?” he asked.
“I’m not sure what you want me to say here,” I said. “We were handling it.”
“That is not how we handle things. Not when I’m here.”
“But outside of BFH, it’s okay?” I asked.
Jacobson turned and looked at me. “Outside of this building you can deal with the police. And
quite frankly, Miss Ditkiss, I’m debating on whether I should call the police right now.”
“For what?”
“Fighting.”
“Then bring those other two in here and make the call,” I said. “I was defending myself.”
“You looked quite engaged.”
“Yeah. Engaged in defending myself. In case you missed it, there were two of them. And one of
me. Think about that for a second. What would you have done?”
“You know, I really think the best thing for you right now is silence.”
“Or what? You’re going to kick me out? I don’t belong here. I’m here as a favor. It won’t matter to
me what happens.”
Jacobson nodded. “So that’s how you feel?”
“That’s how I feel.”
“Then maybe we don’t have to have a conversation,” Jacobson said. “You can just freely leave.
Go back to your old town. Do whatever you want, Miss Ditkiss. How’s that sound? Because
obviously anything I say here doesn’t matter to you. And while I can tell you I feel bad about your
home life, I’m not so sure that matters to you either.”
I looked down at the floor.
Then I stood up.
I walked across the office and put my hands to the back of one of the chairs on the other side of
Jacobson’s desk.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “Okay? I’m sorry that I walked into this building and broke your rules. I really
am.”
“I feel like there’s a but coming next.”
I nodded. “But… I won’t be sorry for anything I’ve done. I don’t belong here and they know that.
So what am I supposed to do?”
Jacobson pursed his lips as he stared at me.
This was a moment for him to say something important.
That moment never came because the door opened and in walked Claire.
I looked at her.
Well, you’re alive at least…
“I see you’ve forgotten how to knock, still,” Jacobson said as he stood up.
 “Again?” Claire asked.
“Are you asking me or Tinsley?” Jacobson asked.
“Both,” Claire said. She looked at me. “Another fight?”
I shrugged my shoulders.
“This isn’t where you used to live,” Claire said. “You don’t need…”
She trailed off.
“Don’t need to what? To live like a poor girl anymore?” I asked.
“Maybe we can transition this conversation to something else,” Jacobson said.
“No,” Claire said. She pointed at him. “What’s going to happen now?”
“I’m not sure yet,” he said.
“Well, until then, Tinsley can stay home with me.”
“We really should talk-”
“Then call and make arrangements for that,” Claire cut in. “Tinsley, let’s go.”
Claire still had her power over Jacobson.
I exited the office but refused to look at her.
And I refused to talk to her.
She didn’t bother to talk to me either.
We left BFH and when the point came for us to split up to go to our separate vehicles, Claire
touched my arm.
“You’re coming with me,” she said.
“What about…”
“Someone is coming to get it.”
“What?”
“I think you and I need to have a long talk.”
 nineteen

“Y ou really weren’t in a car accident,” I blurted out before Claire could even get out of the
parking lot.
“And you got into another fight,” she threw back at me. “Where would you like to start?”
“Anything that resembles the truth.”
“Okay,” Claire said. “We can do that. You go first, Tinsley.”
“Me? I think what I know or think I know is way more important than some fight.”
“You’re living in my house,” Claire said.
Which was the one thing I had hoped she would never say to me.
But there it was.
Slapping me in the face harder than Vicky’s fist.
“It’s really nothing,” I said. “These two… whatever you want to call them… they won’t leave me
alone. So what?”
“The same ones you tried to stab with a screwdriver? The same ones that had their car
vandalized?”
“Same ones,” I said.
“So when does that end?” Claire asked.
“When I’m not here anymore.”
“Real nice to say.”
“Well, it’s the truth, right? I’m not here forever. When Mom gets out, I’m gone.”
“Who told you that?”
“You’re going to let Mom live with you too? Take someone recovering and give her the biggest
excesses in life?”
Claire laughed. “Do you think I’m going to serve her fresh drugs on a platter?”
I looked over at Claire. “Wow. Thanks for that.”
“You wanted the truth. There it is. And also, I have no idea what’s going to happen with her when
this is done. She’s got to get through it first. And you know what, Tinsley? You’re on your own now.
You don’t need to take care of your mother. Or have her take care of you.”
“But you can take care of me?” I asked.
“Maybe I’m making a big mistake too then. Okay? Maybe I should drop you off right here on the
side of the road. Let you figure out what to do. All I want is for you to have a shot at life.”
“Then teach me how to sell houses or buildings or whatever,” I said. “It worked for you.”
“That’s not how you pick a career.”
 “So you just always knew what you wanted to do?”
Claire laughed. “That’s what you want to talk about?”
“When you’re poor, it’s amazing to see those who have money. And you always want to ask what
they do for a living.”
Claire gripped the wheel tighter. “So what do you think the solution is to this problem you’re
having?”
“Problem?”
“These fights.”
“Oh. We’re still talking about that.”
“Yeah, we are. You can leave here right now but that’s still a problem. I don’t like leaving
problems behind. I like solving problems.”
So many words and questions went through my head.
I took a deep breath.
“Okay, fine,” I said. “The only thing I can do is what I did today. Stand up for myself. Just because
they have money… well, their parents have money… that doesn’t mean they can mess with me. Call
me names. Threaten me. And then attack me. They hit first.”
Claire slowly nodded. “But fight after fight after fight gets nowhere.”
“I understand. What would you do then?”
“Truth? Find a weakness and exploit it. Break the bitches down with fear. That’s where the power
is. Not in a fist.”
“Wow,” I said. “I take it you’ve been through this before.”
“I’ve had my fair share of fights,” Claire said.
“So I guess I need to stick around then. Get into their minds, huh?”
“Up to you,” Claire said. “The offer still stands.”
“And what offer is that, Claire? It’s my turn to talk now. My turn for you to answer my questions.
And no crap.”
“Okay. You want to know about my car accident.”
“Actually, I don’t,” I said. “I know what I saw. And, yeah, I don’t understand it… but oh well. I
want to know something else.”
“And what’s that?” she asked.
“Tucker,” I said.
Claire looked at me quick. “What’s that?”
“Liar,” I said. “Tucker said he’s my father. And you’re lying to me about it.”
Claire drifted to the side of the road.
For a split second I had this vision of her purposely crashing the SUV to silence me.
But she slowed right down and put the SUV into park.
“What did you just say to me?” she asked.
“You heard me. The way he kept looking at me. I found out the truth.”
“The truth?”
“He’s my father. Just say it, Claire. Say it! You’re involved with my entire life. From the time I
was a baby. You helped my mother the best you could. Now you’re doing it again. And you have my
father working for you. Just tell me the truth.”
A tear slipped from my eye.
I didn’t want to cry in front of her.
Dammit.
 Claire reached across the seat and slowly wiped away that tear.
She nodded. “Yes… Tucker is your father.”

M y mouth was open.

“It’s okay,” Claire whispered. “I’ll explain everything to you. I promise.”
“Tucker… Teddy…Ted…”
“Stick with Tucker,” Claire said. “That’s how everyone knows him. Has always known him.”
“Who is he?” I asked. “And he really works for you? In real estate?”
“Let’s go for a quick ride first,” Claire said.
That was not what I wanted to hear.
I feverishly played with my nails, trying to hold back tears. Lots of tears. And the anger. And the
confusion. Not to mention everything else that had been happening all at once in BFH.
I didn’t come here on a fun fact finding mission to find my father.
This was supposed to be me ruining the Rulz.
It was supposed to be me showing them I wasn’t some throwaway toy.
Now everything was upside down.
Completely upside down.
Claire drove to the opposite end of town where the houses were much smaller. Where there were
apartments and condos.
She got as close to the beach as she could and pointed to a little, brown house right on the beach.
It almost looked like a cabin you’d find in the woods.
“That's where he lives,” Claire said. “That’s where your father lives. And before you get mad at
me or yell at me or want to runaway… can I tell you something?”
“Sure,” I said.
“I planned on telling you,” Claire said. She looked at me. “You don’t have to believe that. But it’s
the truth.”
“What were you waiting for?”
“The right moment.”
“When? Before or after you let Barr into the house? Or showed me you were sleeping with a
married man? Or showed me the man you actually love?”
Claire laughed.
A really deep and hard laugh.
“What is so funny?” I yelled to her.
Claire grabbed my hand. “Tinsley. Rich isn’t perfect. Money doesn’t make you happy. I can list
ten thousand clichés about wealth. You’re seeing it. So, yeah, I have to tiptoe sometimes with the
Richter family. And I’m sorry if you don’t like Barrington. He’s a pompous asshole. But their perfect
little boy has a dark side.”
Yeah, I know that, Claire.
“As far as my personal relationships go, that’s my business. I love Jeff dearly. And when I miss
him so much it hurts, I have other arrangements. Those are ones that I will not allow my heart to get
hurt. If that’s wrong, then fine, I’m wrong. Now, you wanted to talk about your father.”
“So talk,” I said.
 Claire nodded to the house. “Yes, he does work for me. That’s the truth. I helped him get set up
down here when I settled down here. I wanted him to have something that looked like a decent enough
life. He’s had a tough life.”
“Wait a second,” I said. “You’re helping the guy who got my mother pregnant and left her? I’m
supposed to feel bad for this guy?”
“No,” Claire said. “I’m telling you the truth. The truth you’re determined to hear. I knew him
before I knew your mother. I kicked him out of a few places. Felt bad. And then I did something I
can’t figure out if it was good or bad.”
“Which is what?” I asked.
“I introduced Tucker to your mother,” Claire said. “This is all my fault. Yet how can I say that
when I look at you, Tinsley? Look at how beautiful you are. Look at how perfect you are. How smart
you are. Not just book smart. Street smart too.”
I swallowed hard. “They met because of you. That’s why you feel so guilty. That’s why you
helped me.”
“No, Tinsley,” Claire said. “I don’t feel guilt. I told you everything I could say about why you’re
here. And that’s the truth. You deserve more. Better. I’ve done a lot for Tucker. I’ve done a lot for
Anabel. Now I’m doing a lot for you.”
A side door opened on the little, brown house and out walked Tucker.
With a lit cigarette between his lips.
“Jesus,” Claire said when she saw his face.
She reached for her phone.
Really fast.
Like she was scared.
“I know who did that,” I said.
Claire whipped her head to me. “What?”
“His face. I know who did that.”
Claire took a deep breath and put her phone down. “Okay. Who did that to him?”
“Me.”
“What are you talking about?”
“He was looking at me. He made me uncomfortable. So someone went and took care of it. Three
of them actually.”
Claire’s eyes went wide. “You had your own father jumped?”
“I didn’t know he was my father. And it’s like you said… about solving problems. Right?”
“That’s how you found out then?” Claire asked.
“Yeah. It was supposed to be a warning message to stay away from me. But then Tucker said he
was my dad.”
“I guess I won’t get mad at him then,” Claire said.
She then started to drive.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“We’re going home to finish this conversation.”

laire met me out near the pool.

 She handed me a drink that was red and when I sipped it, there wasn’t booze in it. Not that I

C expected Claire to offer me some.

Her glass was full of wine.
Of course.
“Do I want to know who you put up to attacking Tucker?” Claire asked.
“No, you don’t,” I said.
“Okay.”
“When were you going to tell me?”
“I already said…” Claire nodded. “I don’t know. Okay? You’re here. You’re happy. I think you’re
happy. I know you’re not a fan of me right now. Or ever. But I just wanted you to find happiness. I
wanted to make up for everything I screwed up.”
“So much for not feeling guilt, huh?” I asked.
“There’s all kinds of guilt, Tinsley. I feel guilty for how things turned out for you. For what I had
to do with your mother. And I wanted to make it up to you.”
“With money.”
Claire shrugged her shoulders. “Again, I’m not perfect.”
“So you got Mom and Tucker together and then she got pregnant.”
“Basically,” Claire said. “I thought they could clean each other up. Love each other.”
“Clean… you mean Tucker…”
“Nothing like your mother though,” Claire said. “He’s had himself under control for a long time.
Your mother never could get a grip on it.”
“So she got pregnant and he left.”
“Not exactly like that. But the story of them together is for him to tell. Not me. I won’t do that,
Tinsley. I wasn’t in the middle of their relationship.”
“So you got two messed up people together and out popped me.”
“Don’t say it like that.”
“It’s the truth. And then you felt bad about it. You knew Mom wasn’t cut out to be a mother. So you
tried to take care of me. Then what? She got jealous, didn’t she? She had the one thing you didn’t
have. Something money couldn’t buy. Which was me.”
“Tinsley…”
“No, let me keep going,” I said. “This is fucking perfect, Claire. I was nothing but a pawn my
entire life. Mom had something over you. You had something over her. As long as she kept me close
she would win. So you threw us out. You walked away. And let me guess… that’s when you found
Tucker. You wanted him to get sober and work for you so he could come get me. He could sweep in
as this father hero.”
Claire sipped her wine. “You have an imagination, Tinsley.”
“Am I wrong?”
“What do you want me to say to that?” Claire asked. “You’ve obviously written this tale in your
mind.”
“So, edit it.”
“Any questions you have about your parents, take it to your parents, Tinsley. I’m sure you’ve
heard plenty from your mother…”
“Oh, right. So now I’ll just go knock on Tucker’s door. Apologize that he got his ass kicked. And
then sit down and have a glass of iced tea and listen to him?”
“That’s up to you.”
 “Up to me?” I asked.
“Up to you. I think that’s why I didn’t want to tell you. I didn’t want to confuse you. Hurt you.
Make you paranoid.”
“Like I am right now?”
“Yes,” Claire said. “I know how your mother can be with stories. Make people feel things…”
“So this is all up to me,” I said. “Whether I talk to him or not.”
“I had been sworn to secrecy, Tinsley,” Claire said. “I made sure he was here when you weren’t.
I’m sorry for the way he looked at you. And that he made you feel uncomfortable. But… he took a
chance by telling you.”
“He didn’t take a chance,” I said. I laughed. “He was getting beat up and blurted it out to stop the
beating. He sounded like a pervert. Saying how beautiful I was. How big I was. It was creepy.”
Claire rubbed her forehead. “I don’t know what to say then. I obviously fucked this all up for you.
His reaction though just proves…”
“Proves what?” I asked.
“That he loves you, Tinsley. He cares about you. That doesn’t make him father of the year. I
would never suggest that. And I would never suggest you go talk to him. In fact, if you want me to, I’ll
fire him. I’ll tell him to stay away. I’ll make him sell his house and leave the state.”
I swallowed.
In a way, Claire was strong, beautiful, and a good protector for me and of me.
In a whole other way, she was fucking clueless.
“Just what I need,” I said. “More to think about.”
“You have the truth, Tinsley. I’m sorry it came out the way it did. I didn’t intend for it to happen
this way.”
“I believe that,” I said.
“Anything else you need to ask me, I’m always here,” Claire said. “I know there are things I
won’t answer, but I won’t push you away. We’ll take care of the issue at Bay Falls High. Don’t even
worry about it. And anything you need that involves Tucker, let me know.”
I nodded. “I think I want to be alone.”
“I understand,” Claire said.
She took her wine and went back inside.
I stepped to the edge of the water.
I could literally do anything I wanted right then.
Stay. Leave. Get Tucker fired. Start a relationship with him as my father. Call my mother and send
her sliding deeper by confessing I knew who my father was and that I could talk to him. Go ask Claire
ten thousand more questions. Like what the fuck really happened with your car and that accident?
It was all there, floating around in my head.
And there was one thing that stuck out the most.
This fucking bet.
That I was some kind of fucking prize.
I grabbed my phone and looked at the screen.
One text message later and I had plans to end the bet for real.
 twenty

K ip stood on the beach flexing his fists with a wicked grin on his face. Knowing exactly why
I texted him and what I wanted him to do. It was time to end their bet and time to expose
the truth. Not the fake shit they believed in when it came to me. I didn’t want any more fake
in my life.
And out of the three of the Rulz… something about Kip…
“Hey there, girl,” he said.
I opened my mouth to say hey in a flirty voice but it came out as a gasp when I saw his hand.
I pointed. “Fight?”
“I think it’s only a fight if someone punches back, love.”
I turned and saw Barr and Pres walking down the beach.
My heart jumped a mile in the air.
My body flushed with a sense of guilt.
But there was no guilt.
I tried hard to fight that off.
Barr lit up a fresh cigarette and Pres looked intense. More intense than normal.
“What happened?” I asked.
“Nothing worth talking about, sugar,” Pres said.
“Say that to Kip’s knuckles,” I said.
Kip brought his fist near his mouth. “Hey there, knuckles. How you feeling? A little rough? But
fun, right? Oh, what’s that? You want to do it again? Already?”
Kip winked at me.
“That’s pathetic,” I said. “Super tough guy talking to his hand.”
“Don’t worry, love, we didn’t hurt anyone else in your family,” Barr said.
“That’s not funny,” I said.
Barr smirked.
“Are you okay, sugar?” Pres asked.
“You tell me,” I said to Pres. “You know everything about me. You find ways to figure things out
about me.”
Pres curled his lip. “Yeah, I think everyone heard about your little fight today.”
“Yeah,” Kip said. “And your freaking on me over my fight? You’re crazy, girl.”
“Defending myself,” I said.
“Me too,” Kip said.
 I laughed. “I really doubt you three ever have to defend yourself. You’re way above that. You
make others defend themselves. They’re at your mercy.”
“Is that a wrong thing?” Barr asked.
He took a drag of his cigarette and blew the smoke at me.
I secretly inhaled it.
That stinky smell that I had weirdly become addicted to. I had no desire to ever smoke a cigarette
or ever get involved with someone who did smoke, but the smell of Barr’s smoke… it was different.
Not really. But it was.
“What are you all doing down here?” I asked.
“Finding a little Zen, girl,” Kip said.
“Zen?”
“After a fight,” Kip said. “Check out the waves. Appreciate that I was able to fight. That whole
thing.”
“You beat someone up and you’re finding Zen over it?” I asked.
“How did you feel dancing on Blair’s face, love?” Barr asked.
I turned my attention to Barr but didn’t reply.
“If you need anything from us about Tucker…,” Pres said and trailed off.
“If I need you to beat him up for missing another birthday of mine, I’ll let you know,” I said.
“That’s not funny, sugar,” Pres said, mocking me.
“You all are killing my moment,” Kip said.
“We’ll be waiting then,” Pres said.
He walked right toward me like we were a couple and he grabbed my chin - gently, of course -
and he lowered his lips to mine.
The kiss was quick. Just a goodbye kiss.
But it was laced with even more guilt.
When Pres walked away, Barr took his place. Cigarette smoke dancing around his head as he
pressed his lips to my cheek.
I again found myself inhaling that gross smell.
My brain couldn’t figure out what to do.
I looked at Kip. “What about you?”
He smiled and looked back at Pres and Barr.
Once they were far enough away, he winked at me.
“I’ll wait to get more than a kiss, girl.”

I waited for Kip to text me.

That meant I paced the front of my SUV for a while. And then I sat behind the wheel. My legs
kept jumping so I’d get back out again.
My phone went off and it was a call.
It was Mom.
I sucked in a breath.
She wasn’t supposed to be calling me.
I hadn’t talked to her in a while.
 “Hello?” I asked in a shaky voice.
“There she is,” Mom’s voice said. “My baby. Oh, god, listen to your voice.”
Right then and there, Mom burst into tears over the phone.
All these feelings I was having for Kip, wrapping my mind around about finally having one of the
Rulz to myself… I did not need crying to take that away from me.
“Are you okay, Mom?” I asked.
She cried and sniffled and gasped for a breath. “Tinsley…”
“Mom?” I yelled into the phone.
“I’m sorry,” she said. She cleared her throat. “I’m sorry for that. Wow. I didn’t expect that.”
“How are you?” I asked.
“I’m here,” she said. “I’m really here, Tinsley. I’m still here.”
“That’s good.”
“I think so. I’m starting to feel it.”
“Feel what?”
“Better.”
“That’s good,” I said.
“It really is. I want to leave. I want to come home so bad, Tinsley. I want to hug you. I want to
take you to the beach. Just you and me. And pack junk food. And drinks. And talk about life.”
My throat closed a little.
I blinked fast.
I nodded. “Okay, Mom. We’re going to do that. But you have to stay there. You know that, right?”
“I know,” she said. “No fucking around this time. Claire has been such a help to me. And you.”
You don’t know the half of it, Mom.
“Yes, she has,” I said.
“Tinsley, tell me you’re okay there.”
I licked my lips.
My phone buzzed with a text from Kip.
All alone girl ;)
My heart started to race.
It was time to go.
“I’m okay here,” I said. “I made some friends. I get to swim. I get to go to the beach whenever I
want. I’m actually a little spoiled right now.”
Mom laughed. “You deserve it so much. I was a shitty mother to you, Tinsley.”
I shook my head.
No, Mom, not this... not now…
My phone buzzed again.
Kip.
If I start on my own I’ll have to have someone else finish it
I swallowed hard.
My cheeks flushed.
I knew what Kip’s body looked like. I had seen him surf. I knew all the lines and cuts of muscle
and how he moved. Not to mention he smelled like the ocean and those blue eyes were worth the
trouble right away.
“Mom, we can do this later,” I said.
“I just need you to know that,” Mom said. “I have so much going through my head. All these
things. These moments. And each one hurts worse than the previous one.”
“I know,” I said. “That’s why you’re there. To go through all of that stuff. Hey. Leave all that shit
behind.”
Mom laughed. “Watch your mouth, young lady.”
“Make me, Mom,” I said.
We both laughed.
“Oh, Tinsley…”
“I kind of have to go now,” I said.
“Oh, sure. Big plans with your friends?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Big plans.”
“Good. Stay busy. Have fun. But not too much fun. Don’t want you to forget about me. I know
Claire is rich and can give you so much more than I can… but I’m still your mother.”
“I know, Mom. I love you.”
“Love you too, Tinsley.”
I ended the call and wanted to scream.
My heart was going in thirty-five directions at once.
I shut my eyes and took a deep breath.
I sorted through everyone at once.
Then I sent Kip a text and told him I was on the way.

H is house was giant, which wasn’t a surprise. And whoever built the house loved arches. There
were arches out front and inside and all throughout the house. The floors were made of thick
tiles and had the same kind of feel that Kip gave off. That’s when it hit me that his mother probably
designed the house herself. After everything he told me about his parents, it made sense. The house
was instantly comfortable. It wasn’t some gigantic house that made you feel like you were in a
museum or something.
It was welcoming.
It was cool.
It was Kip.
He held my hand as we walked through the house.
There was a back set of stairs just off the kitchen.
As we walked the steps, I ran my thumb over Kip’s knuckles. They were still crusted with blood.
“Who did you fight, Kip?”
“Nothing to worry about, girl,” he said.
“I’m asking.”
“Just some clown from out of town,” he said. “Big mouth.”
“Did it have anything to do with me?”
Kip laughed. “Not everything revolves around you.”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” I said.
We got to the top of the steps and he turned left.
I went with him.
The second door on the right, he opened and nodded for me to go first.
 Again, it was typical Kip fashion.
The bedroom was big, bright, large windows open with sheer curtains blowing in the beach
breeze. His room faced the ocean and the view made me stop.
I looked around the room.
The bed was big.
Comfortable.
Messy from him sleeping in it last night.
There were surfboards in the corners of the room.
Kip stepped up behind me and slid his arms around my waist.
“What do you think, girl?” he whispered.
“I think I like it.”
“Yeah, I think I like it too,” he said.
His lips touched my neck.
I jumped and shivered.
Kip kissed again… and again…
His hands moved up my body, over my shirt.
I started to sink back into him, feeling him. The reaction his body had to kissing and touching me
made me ache more for him.
His hands helped themselves to my chest and he put his cheek to my cheek.
I turned my head the same time he did.
When he kissed me - from that angle - I reached back and grabbed at his shorts. My right hand
nuzzled its way between our bodies. My hand touched him. And even over his shorts… wow.
Kip then backed away.
I hurried to turn around and watched as he grabbed his shirt with one hand and stripped it off his
beautifully cut body. He rolled it up with one hand and flung it across the room.
Then he looked at his hands.
“I better go clean myself up, girl,” he said. “I don’t want you to get too dirty.”
“Whatever you want to do, Kip,” I said.
“I’m going to grab a quick shower. Care to join?”
“I’ll wait right here for you,” I said. “You better hurry. If I start on my own I’ll have to have
someone else finish it.”
“Using my own text against me,” he said. “You’re wild.”
“You haven’t seen wild yet,” I said.
“Is that so?” he asked.
I shrugged my shoulders. “I guess you’ll find out.”
Kip grinned.
And then his eyes seemed to change. Which was impossible. But there was that look on his face.
That deep and intense look. The one that hinted to me that he loved me. Which wasn’t possible.
He didn’t love me.
He didn’t love anyone.
He was excited. And not just because of kissing and touching me.
He was excited because he thought he was going to have something to throw in Pres and Barr’s
faces. And whatever amount they had bet together, he would get.
Only until I ruined it all…
I smirked and stepped forward. “Fuck it, Kip.”
 “Fuck it?” he asked.
I slowly reached for his chest.
When my fingertips grazed his hard skin, I closed my eyes for a second.
There couldn’t be any feelings.
Or, if there were, they were fake. Completely and totally fake.
I stripped my feelings away the same way I wanted Kip to strip me.
I put my hands flat to his chest.
I looked into his eyes.
“Don’t shower,” I whispered. “Why bother?”
“I always figured you to be dirty, girl,” he said with a wink.
I slid my hands up to his neck and then to his face. As I cupped his face, my heart raced faster, but
I stayed steady, leaning forward, kissing his chest.
He smelled so good.
Just like the beach… but with a mix of sweat and violence.
There was no way I was going to be mad at myself for liking it either.
This was wild and hot.
And I wanted it.
I needed it.
Kip grabbed my hands and peeled them from his face. He interlocked his fingers to mine and
squeezed tight. The burning look in his eyes made all those feelings start to bubble again.
I opened my mouth to ask him why he looked at me the way he did but I stopped myself.
Kip put his forehead to mine.
He then stepped at me, making me step back.
He laughed.
I smiled.
“Keep going, girl,” he whispered.
Kip walked me to the bed with his forehead to mine, our fingers interlocked.
There was a sense of fun and innocence to him.
It made it easy to fall into him.
When I got to the edge of the bed, Kip gave a playful nudge with his head and I fell down to the
bed. He moved with me, his hands still holding mine.
He lowered his mouth down to mine for a kiss that could have shaken the ground and reduced his
mansion to rubble.
Powerful and commanding, trying to guide the wicked kiss, but I knew how to kiss right back.
Maybe I was giving myself away a little but I couldn’t help it. I matched every move he made with his
tongue until he pulled away and went for my neck again. I turned my head and let out a long breath. I
stared at his hand holding mine. I felt the tip of his tongue caressing and gently tickling my neck as he
kissed again and again.
I saw his knuckles.
The crusted blood.
A stark reminder that this blonde hair blue eyed surfer boy was dangerous.
Very dangerous.
As though I was giving my good conscious the middle finger, I wrapped my legs around Kip and
pulled at him.
His lips traveled to my throat and I put my head back.
 His hands finally moved from my hands.
That allowed me to slap his back. Literally.
He pushed his body harder against me.
I didn’t need any more of a hint or proof that he was ready.
Kip put his hands flat to the bed and pushed himself up.
He looked down my body and back up.
Without saying a word, I took my hands from his body and grabbed the bottom of my shirt. As I
lifted it up, he inched down and kissed my belly.
I let out a whimper and bit my lip.
“Kip…”
My heart raced and ached and wanted more but wanted the truth and everything else lingering in
the room.
“Oh, Kip… oh, baby, Kip…”
I jumped up to my elbows and turned my head.
Barr stood in the doorway, a lit cigarette between his lips.
Right behind him… Pres.

I jumped back on the bed and kicked Kip away.

He was on his knees, now looking pissed off.
“What the fuck is this about?” Kip snapped.
“We have business to discuss,” Barr said.
“The fuck we do,” Kip said. “Get out. Now.”
“Not sure about that,” Pres said.
He stepped into the room and walked right to the edge of the bed.
His eyes were so beautifully dark and evil.
“You think I’m stupid, sugar?” he asked.
“No,” I said. “Are you jealous because I picked Kip?”
Pres grinned. “Not even fucking close.”
Barr stepped up next to Pres.
Kip climbed to his feet, his hands balled into tights fists. “You better start talking, assholes. I’m
hard as a rock and you two are fucking up my moment.”
“There is no moment here,” Barr said. “There never was going to be a moment here.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked. “Last time I checked, my lips taste like Kip’s.”
“She knows about our little bet, Kip,” Pres said, his eyes still locked to mine.
My face dropped. Along with my heart and my stomach.
“What?” Kip asked.
“Don’t play stupid,” Barr said to Kip. “It’s all in the open now. No more fake playing, right? She
knows our game. How much fun we had. At least until now.”
“Oh, we’re still having fun,” Pres said.
“Who told you…,” I said. “I mean… a bet… I…”
I couldn’t find the words.
I couldn’t even breathe, even though the bedroom was so big.
 My eyes looked to Kip.
“Doesn’t bother me,” he said. “She knew. She picked. I’m good with it.”
Barr took a deep drag of his cigarette. “Yeah. We’re all good with it. Except there’s only one
problem here.”
“Which is what?” Kip asked.
“She’s been playing her own game too,” Pres said. “Right, sugar?”
“And what game is that?” I asked.
Pres put his hands to the bed and inched forward until he touched my legs.
“You’re not so innocent after all,” he said.
“Is that true?” Kip asked.
I swallowed hard and nodded. “It’s true. Whatever you all thought was wrong. You wasted your
time on nothing. So fuck you.”
“Oh, that’s where you’re wrong, love,” Barr said. His honey gold eyes melted through. “So very
wrong.”
“Wait,” Kip said. “She’s not…?”
Barr elbowed Kip.
Pres walked around the bed to get closer to me.
His right hand touched my chin.
“No more fake, Pres,” I said to him. “I know everything about you three. And now you know
everything about me. So now you can leave me alone for good.”
Pres laughed. He lowered his mouth to maybe an inch from mine.
“You’re wrong, sugar… this thing… is far from over between all of us.”
 Want more #bfh?

BAY FALLS HIGH continues with UNTamed and it’s AVAILABLE … just go to Amazon.com and
type in ‘Jaxson Kidman Bay Falls High UNTamed’ to order your copy today!

But… here’s a little preview of the book before you order!

UNTamed
one

I just might actually miss you, girl. Damn.

I dug my toes into the sand and hugged myself. The breeze was cold. Not like winter cold but chilly
cold. Even in my favorite hoodie, I was still shivering from the outside in. My legs felt like icicles.
Just like the layer of thick ice around my heart.
Cliche, Ti.
Kip’s words played through my head.
I had set them all up and while things didn’t go exactly to plan, my plan happened. They thought they
were going to mess with me and I was the one who messed back. Harder, too. And I got to them.
The look in their eyes, that look of shock and disappointment. Maybe even some sadness too.
But that was a coin with two different sides.
Their interest was solely based on the rumor that I had been an untouched, good girl. (Which I still
needed to really dig into, by the way.) So all the sweet words and casual moves and stolen kisses…
were all bullshit.
Which I knew. That wasn’t a surprise to me at all.
The surprise was how dirty I felt.
Not the dirty, poor girl with the junkie mother.
No.
That title went out in the waves a while ago.
Now it was just dirty.
Dirty.
Meaning my appeal was gone because I had given myself to someone else. Not that it was anyone’s
busy who, why, where, or how many times… or how many people I gave myself to.
As though I did something wrong.
Even though it was well known around BFH that the Rulz slapped their friends wherever they felt
like it.
I hated them.
Pres. Barr. Kip.
All three.
On top of that, I had gotten into trouble at BFH once again.
Blair and Vicky played their rich girl cards and everyone came to the agreement to just stay away
from each other. That was the only way Jacobson could keep everyone happy. Including Claire. It was
agreed upon that I would take a long weekend from BFH so I could regroup and calm down. Because
it was obvious tensions were high.
Everyone could take their tension and shove it up their ass.
Tension?
I shook my head.
Yeah, it was my fault for messing with the Rulz.
But then to find out Claire knew my father all along, had him working for her, and then to top it off,
the Rulz beat my father up thinking he was some creepy guy looking at me weird… it was a disaster.
More than a disaster.
I phoned buzzed in my back pocket.
Another text from Gi.
Bitch you need to call me! Need to kno ur ok
I tucked my phone away without replying.
Gi had been driving me crazy with texts.
It got bad enough that Iris texted me too.
They were really worried about me. Which I appreciated. But they were best friends. True best
friends. Like what Ruby and I used to be. They would always each others back first. Before anything
and anyone else. I would always be the third in line. The afterthought. If we got into a car accident
and Gi could save one of us, she’d instinctively grab Iris. And the same for Iris to Gi.
That was no fault to either.
It was just ingrained in them.
And that was okay.
Everything was okay.
Even though it wasn’t.
The cold breeze pushed at me some more as I swallowed a breath, tasting the salty air.
I slowly turned my head and looked at Claire’s house.
The giant house full of truths. But not secrets. Nothing was hiding. It was all in the open, it just needed
to be found. Kind of like the rest of BFH. Everything just waiting to be found.
I told myself I was done exploring.
No more digging.
Time to retire the shovel and do what was right.
What should been done a long time ago.
It was time to leave this place for good.
READY TO READ UNTamed GO HERE RIGHT NOW AND LOOK FOR THE TITLE:
Jaxson’s Amazon Page
IF THAT LINK DOESN’T WORK THEN JUST GO TO AMAZON.COM AND TYPE IN
‘JAXSON KIDMAN BAY FALLS HIGH UNTAMED!
 What is #bfh vs #hch?

Darlin’ … DO NOT STOP READING YET!

You may have about HCH in this book or read about #hch on social media… well, that’s the rival
town for Bay Falls High. And I’m inviting you RIGHT NOW to start reading Hidden Creek High!
Trust me, you’re going to want to know the story of Wes & Aira (and Nova & Elijah… and more). It’s
simple. How? Check this out here: bit.ly/hch1-us

I have a couple important things for you…

First off, THANK YOU for taking this journey with me. I know how busy life can be, so if you want
to stay up to date with any #bfh books (or my other books) then I need you on my readers list RIGHT
NOW. It takes two seconds to sign up here: bit.ly/jk-readerslist

Also, there is a private Facebook group just for #bfh where you can talk SPOILERS. I created this
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Finally, there’s nothing more powerful than YOUR WORDS. So please jump over to Amazon and
leave a review. It takes a minute to do and it means the world to me. Whether you loved or hated the
book, let me know. And if you have any questions or need anything darlin’ my personal email is
JaxsonKidman@gmail.com
 More from Jaxson

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Look for more heart wrenching, emotional upcoming novels including:

A LETTER TO DELILAH
THE WRONG SIDE

Other bestselling novels by Jaxson include:

5 Years Later
Somebody Else (& Nobody Else)
Dear Everly,
Imagine Us
Anna’s Dress
Let You Go
When I’m Gone
What You Don’t Know
Every Other Weekend
 Check out the books here:

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PLEASE NOTE DARLIN’ - DEPENDING YOUR DEVICE, SOME OF THE LINKS ABOVE
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 This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real locales are used fictitiously. Other names,
characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons,
living or dead, is entirely coincidental. (This also includes the cover image and/or cover model(s) appearing on the cover. The context of
this book does not in any way depict the personal life of said cover model(s). Image is licensed and used purely for fictional purpose
only.)

First electronic edition July 2019

Copyright © 2019 by Jaxson Kidman

All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part of any form.

Copyright image iStock/DepositPhotos

Copyright cover Cosmic Letters