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Modern World History-Based

Writing Lessons
Implementing the Structure and Style® Writing Method

Student Exemplars

by Lori Verstegen

Second Edition © January 2020


Institute for Excellence in Writing, L.L.C.
Also by Lori Verstegen

Advanced U.S. History-Based Writing Lessons Dress-Ups, Decorations, and Delightful Diversions
All Things Fun and Fascinating Writing Lessons Medieval History-Based Writing Lessons
Ancient History-Based Writing Lessons U.S. History-Based Writing Lessons
Bible Heroes Writing Lessons

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Modern World History-Based Writing Lessons: Implementing the Structure and Style® Writing Method
Second Edition, January 2020
Copyright © 2020 Institute for Excellence in Writing

ISBN 978-1-62341-331-6

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Students’ Sample Compositions
This is a collection of student samples for each of the IEW units. These samples should not be
shown to a student prior to an assignment but are mainly for the purpose of guiding the teacher by
modeling correct structure and style.

Unit Lesson Title Page


2 Writing from Notes 2 The Age of Exploration 4
3 Retelling Narrative Stories 5 The Stone of Good Fortune 5
4 Summarizing a Reference 9 Free at Last 7
5 Writing from Pictures 13 Pine Valley’s New Telegraph 8
6 Summarizing Multiple References 17–18 Communism around the World 9
7 Inventive Writing 22–23 Great Things 11
8 Formal Essay Models 25 A Failed Experiment 13
8 Formal Essay Models 26–27 The Champion Scores 16
9 Formal Critique 28–29 Entertaining and Instructive 19
Response to Literature 30 An Appalling Story 22

Note: When adding vocabulary words, students may use words from past, current, or future
lessons. Any derivative of a vocabulary word is also acceptable (ex. flee/fleeing).

3 Modern World History-Based Writing Lessons: Exemplars Institute for Excellence in Writing
UNIT 2 SAMPLE

Lesson 2

The Age of Exploration

Between 1400 and 1600 Europeans became more aggressive in seeking wealth around

the globe. (voc) Asia was particularly luring because of its gold, silk, and spices. Unfortunately,

reaching Asia by land was no easy task. To avoid the perils of such a trip, explorers took to

the sea. The Portuguese began to develop better ships, so they became the first to reach Asia.

They did so by navigating all the way around Africa. Along the way they found and took new

lands around Africa. Christopher Columbus, who sailed for Spain, tried a different route. He

sailed west hoping to circle the globe to reach the East. Before he reached the East, though,

he inadvertently encountered unknown lands—North and South America. (voc) His discovery

caused much excitement that further emboldened explorers in their quest for land and riches.

(voc) The Age of Exploration was in full force.

Note: Students may look ahead on their vocabulary chart and use words from future lessons if
they so desire. Embolden, used in this paragraph, is a vocabulary word from Lesson 9.

4 Modern World History-Based Writing Lessons: Exemplars Institute for Excellence in Writing
UNIT 3 SAMPLE

Lesson 5

The Stone of Good Fortune

In China, long ago, there lived a humble but wise craftsman. His name was Bian He.

He enjoyed hiking and exploring in the mountains, which is where he was on this fine day. As

he walked contentedly, the morning sun gently warmed his back, and a cool breeze refreshed

his spirit. The delightful fragrance of myriads of mountain flowers filled the air while birds

sang sweetly. As he turned a corner in the trail, he could not believe what was before him. A

magnificent, shimmering phoenix was resting on a rock. It flew away when it spotted him, but

Bian He knew that something of extreme value must be nearby. It was the rock. The craftsman

immediately recognized it as a precious jade stone. He knew he must take it to King Li.

Bian He hoped the king would accept his valuable treasure. However, the king only saw

a plain rock and scoffed at the gift.(voc) Then he became furious because he thought Bian He

was trying to trick him. He had Bian’s left foot cut off; then, he had the guards toss him onto

the street. After many years this foolish king died, and his son, King Wu, took over. Bian He

boldly brought his precious gift to the palace again, but the new king was no different than his

father. (voc) He had Bian’s right foot cut off. Bian retreated to the mountains where he lamented

haplessly. (voc x 2) After many more years this king died. His son Wen, who was a wise man,

took the throne.

King Wen, who had heard stories about the grieving craftsman, became curious. He

had his guards find Bian He and bring him to the palace. “Why do you mourn night and day?”

inquired the king. Bian He told him that both the king’s father and grandfather could not see the

value in the precious gift he earnestly desired to present to the palace. Wen ordered the stone to

5 Modern World History-Based Writing Lessons: Exemplars Institute for Excellence in Writing
be brought in. He prudently had his craftsman meticulously chip away at the outer crust. (voc)

Soon a dazzling green stone was revealed. Its beauty radiated and filled the room. The king was

amazed and accepted the gift. Ultimately the stone brought good fortune to the kingdom for

generations. (voc)

6 Modern World History-Based Writing Lessons: Exemplars Institute for Excellence in Writing
UNIT 4 SAMPLE

Lesson 9

Free at Last

The American Revolution was a war fought because American colonists desired to be

free from British rule. The colonists detested King George and called him a tyrant. (voc) He

made them pay too many taxes, and he did not let them have a representative in Parliament.

The soldiers he sent to control them inflamed them further. (voc) Many of the colonists, called

Patriots, protested in many ways, which caused the animosity between the king and the colonists

to increase. In 1775 British soldiers tried to take ammunition that the Americans had stored

in Concord. The colonists defended their ammunition and shot at the soldiers. Their first shot

was later called “the shot heard round the world” because it was the shot that started the war.

Soon thereafter the Declaration of Independence was written, and George Washington and his

Continental Army fought the British for eight grueling years. America finally won the war and

became free from British rule.

7 Modern World History-Based Writing Lessons: Exemplars Institute for Excellence in Writing
UNIT 5 SAMPLE

Lesson 13

Pine Valley’s New Telegraph

John and several of the men of Pine Valley were busily laboring at building a telegraph

station. The entire town was buzzing with excitement because they would be the first town

within one hundred miles to have a coveted telegraph system, which would allow them to

communicate quickly over long distances. (voc) [2] In two weeks the telegraph company would

dispatch workers from the big city install the wires, so they had to build diligently. Clouds

began to form overhead while they worked. “Looks like a storm in heading our way,” John

commented. The men hurried to build the telegraph station as much as possible before it did.

The storm was suddenly upon them, and as thunder boomed, a bolt of lightning stuck

a nearby tree, which caused it to catch on fire and topple over right on the building. “Oh,

no! We must put the fire out quickly. The rain will help, but it is not enough. Run for help!”

John ordered. Men from everywhere responded to thwart the fire. (voc) They put the fire out

by relaying buckets of water. It did not take long because the rain was their ally. [2] After the

storm, the men worked together to lift the tree and examine the burnt building.

[2]After another eight days the building was completed. The entire town gathered to

celebrate. The mayor gave a speech in which he commended the men’s hard work and their

valiant efforts during the storm. (voc) He thanked the telegraph company for hooking up the

wires. Then he announced that John, who had organized the building effort, had been selected

to train as the telegraph operator. Everyone cheered jubilantly when they heard this because

they were all eager to try out the new telegraph system. (voc) The ceremony ended with the

posting of the sign on the newly finished building: Pine Valley Telegraph.

8 Modern World History-Based Writing Lessons: Exemplars Institute for Excellence in Writing
UNIT 6 SAMPLE

Lessons 17–18

Communist Countries

Communists took over Russia in October of 1917. It was the first communist country.

[2] Before this, the peasants had revolted against the tsar. Vladimir Lenin, along with his

Bolsheviks, ceased control. Lenin harshly executed the royal family because they wanted to

show their complete power. Lenin claimed he would make a better life for the people. [6] Many

believed him. He was following the ideas of Karl Marx, who taught that the only way to have a

fair society is for the government to own and control everything. Lenin spread communism to

nearby countries when he formed the Soviet Union (USSR). He and his successor, Joseph Stalin,

were ruthless tyrants. (voc) They had secret police everywhere to subdue the people by instilling

fear into them. (voc) Millions of people were killed under Stalin. [3] Ultimately communism

was overthrown in Russia in 1991.

After World War II Communists swiftly took over Eastern Europe, which had been

ravaged by the war. (voc) Joseph Stalin, who was the dictator of the Soviet Union, coerced

the countries along its western border to become communist. (voc) The countries were called

satellite states because they aligned with the USSR. They were also known as “the communist

bloc” and “the Iron Curtain.” [6] They were named “people’s republics.” However, the people

did not have freedoms. [2] Under communism, the people could not own property or businesses.

Even the freedom of religion was taken away. The United States decided to help countries who

resisted the deplorable communism.(voc) [3] Unfortunately, though, many countries fell to the

aggressive communist push. (voc) However, many years later, as communism fell in the USSR,

it also collapsed in the rest of Eastern Europe as well.

9 Modern World History-Based Writing Lessons: Exemplars Institute for Excellence in Writing
After World War II communism also seized China. (voc) Joseph Stalin, who had spread

communism to Eastern Europe, was quick to help Mao Zedong oust the Chinese Nationalist

government. (voc) [2] In 1949 the People’s Republic of China began. The poor peasants had

hopes that Zedong would solve the country’s problems and promote their welfare if he took

control. (voc) Zedong was called “a true man of the people.” [3] Unfortunately, like other

communist rulers, he became a deadly dictator. He had secret police called the Red Guard.

Anyone who opposed Zedong was executed, exiled, or imprisoned. [6] He was brutal. (voc)

In fact, Zedong is known as the deadliest dictator in history because his government caused

millions of deaths in China. Zedong died in 1976, but communism endured. (voc) When the

people protested for a more democratic government in 1989, the military mercilessly slaughtered

thousands of the protestors in what is called the Tiananmen Square Massacre. China remains one

of only five communist countries in the world today.

Works Consulted (ficticious)

Doe, Jane. “The History of Communism.” World Politics, The Institute of World Politics,

5 June 2019, mrsv.edu/politics.

Verstegen, Lori. “The Rise of Communism.” Modern World History-Based Writing Lessons,

Institute for Excellence in Writing, 2020, pp. 161–162.

“Communism Today.” Verstegen’s Enclyclopedia, ABC Publishers, 2017, pp. 163–164.

10 Modern World History-Based Writing Lessons: Exemplars Institute for Excellence in Writing
UNIT 7 SAMPLE

Lessons 22–23

Great Things

Winston Churchill, who was the Prime Minister of Great Britain during World War II,

observed that “All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word:

freedom; justice; honor; duty; mercy; hope.” These are the kinds of things that embolden men.

(voc) They are the things that are worth fighting for and protecting if they are in jeopardy. [6]

They are universally esteemed. [2] For example, we all have an inborn desire to be free. [3]

Additionally, we realize that we have duties to ourselves and to those around us. [5] Although

difficulties will arise, hope gives the encouragement needed to persevere rather than become

disheartened. (voc)

One of the “great things” Churchill spoke of is freedom. People desire to live in a

country where they are free to choose the significant aspects of their lives. [2] In a free country,

citizens can choose their education and occupation, where they live, who they marry, and

where they worship. [6] These things matter. Just as importantly, in a free country people can

choose the leaders who will make the laws of the land. Being so highly valued, such freedom

is worth fighting to achieve. For example, when King George of England denied American

colonists many freedoms, they united and diligently fought the American Revolution. In so

doing they prevailed and established a new country with a new Constitution. (voc) [5] When

the founding fathers wrote the Preamble to this document, they stated that they purposed to

“secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity.” [6] They wanted liberty to

endure. (voc) [3] Clearly they recognized that freedom is a “great thing.”

11 Modern World History-Based Writing Lessons: Exemplars Institute for Excellence in Writing
[6] Another “great thing” is duty. Simply put, duty is meeting one’s obligations and

responsibilities. Both families and societies run more smoothly if everyone fulfills their duties.

[2] For example, one of my dad’s duties is to work to provide for us. [3] Faithfully he wakes up

at 6:30 each weekday morning and heads to work without complaint. [5] If he were to suddenly

decide to stop working, we might lose our house and become destitute. (voc) [6] That would be

devastating. (voc) Having a strong sense of duty, though, he will not let that happen. I admire my

dad, who has a great sense of duty.

Hope, which gives encouragement, is also a “great thing.” [2] With hope, we can trust

that events will eventually work out for the best. In the book War Horse, Joey, a horse, is taken

from his master Albert to be used by the Calvary. [5] As he struggles through World War I, he

gains strength by the hope of being reunited to Albert. He fights with a positive attitude while

other horses around him become frenzied and fall into despair. (voc) [6] He never gives up. [3]

Eventually the war ends. Having fought hard because of his hope, he survives the war and is

given back to Albert. Hope brings the will to keep going even through difficult circumstances.

Churchill was right when he called ideals such as freedom, duty, and hope “great things.”

[3] Certainly freedom, which allows us to make choices that impact our lives, is coveted by all

men. (voc x 2) [2] In both families and societies, we depend upon one another to diligently do

our duties. [5] While life brings hardships, hope helps us press forward. Knowing the value of

these ideals, we should strive to gain and keep them in our lives. This is most important because

they help make individuals noble and societies prosperous. They are worth whatever the cost is

to achieve and uphold them. [6] They are “great things.”

12 Modern World History-Based Writing Lessons: Exemplars Institute for Excellence in Writing
UNIT 8 SAMPLE

Lesson 25

A Failed Experiment

[1] What would a perfect government look like? [6] Karl Marx thought he knew. [1]

He was a German philosopher who introduced the idea of communism. [4] Desiring to create

a society in which all people were equal, he firmly believed that there should be no rich and no

poor people. [2] In order to accomplish this, he taught that people should not be allowed to own

property or businesses. Instead, the government should own and control everything. [5] After

Marx died, a fiery Russian named Vladimir Lenin studied Marx’s ideas and established the first

communist government in the world in Russia. [6] That happened in 1917. [2] After World

War II, Joseph Stalin, who was Lenin’s successor, spread communism to Eastern Europe. [3]

Eventually China, where Mao Zedong led a revolution, also succumbed to communism after the

war left the country in shambles. (voc)

Communists took over Russia in October of 1917. It was the first communist country.

[2] Before this, the peasants had revolted against the tsar. Vladimir Lenin, along with his

Bolsheviks, ceased control. Lenin harshly executed the royal family because they wanted to

show their complete power. Lenin claimed he would make a better life for the people. [6] Many

believed him. He was following the ideas of Karl Marx, who taught that the only way to have a

fair society is for the government to own and control everything. Lenin spread communism to

nearby countries when he formed the Soviet Union (USSR). He and his successor, Joseph Stalin,

were ruthless tyrants. (voc) They had secret police everywhere to subdue the people by instilling

fear into them. (voc) Millions of people were killed under Stalin. [3] Ultimately communism

was overthrown in Russia in 1991.

13 Modern World History-Based Writing Lessons: Exemplars Institute for Excellence in Writing
After World War II Communists swiftly took over Eastern Europe, which had been

ravaged by the war. (voc) Joseph Stalin, who was the dictator of the Soviet Union, coerced

the countries along its western border to become communist. (voc) The countries were called

satellite states because they aligned with the USSR. They were also known as “the communist

bloc” and “the Iron Curtain.” [6] They were named “people’s republics.” However, the people

did not have freedoms. [2] Under communism, the people could not own property or businesses.

Even the freedom of religion was taken away. The United States decided to help countries who

resisted the deplorable communism.(voc) [3] Unfortunately, though, many countries fell to the

aggressive communist push. (voc) However, many years later, as communism fell in the USSR,

it also collapsed in the rest of Eastern Europe as well.

After World War II communism also seized China. (voc) Joseph Stalin, who had spread

communism to Eastern Europe, was quick to help Mao Zedong oust the Chinese Nationalist

government. (voc) [2] In 1949 the People’s Republic of China began. The poor peasants had

hopes that Zedong would solve the country’s problems and promote their welfare if he took

control. (voc) Zedong was called “a true man of the people.” [3] Unfortunately, like other

communist rulers, he became a deadly dictator. He had secret police called the Red Guard.

Anyone who opposed Zedong was executed, exiled, or imprisoned. [6] He was brutal. (voc)

In fact, Zedong is known as the deadliest dictator in history because his government caused

millions of deaths in China. Zedong died in 1976, but communism endured. (voc) When the

people protested for a more democratic government in 1989, the military mercilessly slaughtered

thousands of the protestors in what is called the Tiananmen Square Massacre. China remains one

of only five communist countries in the world today.

14 Modern World History-Based Writing Lessons: Exemplars Institute for Excellence in Writing
[2] In 1917 communism aggressively assumed control of Russia because of the

shrewdness of Vladimir Lenin. (voc x 3) [3] Eventually his successor, who was Joseph Stalin,

brought communism to Eastern Europe. [6] Mao Zedong followed. [1] He led a revolution in

China. [5] While these leaders may have believed they were bettering their countries, they were

not bettering the lives of their people. Most importantly, communism has proven itself to be an

oppressive form of government because there are no checks on its leaders. [6] Power corrupted

them. [4] Knowing this, people have revolted and ousted communism in all but five countries.

(voc) [1] Communism has been a failed experiment.

Works Consulted (ficticious)

Doe, Jane. “The History of Communism.” World Politics, The Institute of World Politics,

5 June 2019, mrsv.edu/politics.

Verstegen, Lori. “The Rise of Communism.” Modern World History-Based Writing Lessons,

Institute for Excellence in Writing, 2020, pp. 161–162.

“Communism Today.” Verstegen’s Enclyclopedia, ABC Publishers, 2017, pp. 163–164.

15 Modern World History-Based Writing Lessons: Exemplars Institute for Excellence in Writing
UNIT 8 SAMPLE

Lessons 26–27

The Champion Scores!

[6] He was “the Black Pearl.” [3] Additionally many consider Pelé Brazil’s national

treasure and consider him the greatest soccer player of all time. [1] His parents named him

Edson (or Edison) Arantes do Nascimento because they admired Thomas Edison. [5] When he

was old enough to kick a ball, his father, who taught him to play soccer, instilled in him a love

for the game. [1] He had a natural talent for the game and played professionally at the age of

fifteen. [4] Retiring briefly, he inevitably returned to the game. [3] Ultimately, he did retire

from soccer, but he continued to work in many commendable roles to improve the sport of

soccer and to help children in need.

[2] In professional soccer in Brazil, Pelé achieved a stellar career. [1] He was born

to play soccer. [3] Remarkably he joined the Santos club, which was a professional team, and

scored his first professional goal while he was only fifteen years old. [1] He also led the entire

league in goals scored during his first full year of play. [1] All of Brazil noticed this rising

star. [6] He was unstoppable. [2] In 1969 he scored his thousandth goal, and even fans of the

opposing team cheered jubilantly. (voc) [2] After just one year of professional play, Pelé was

recruited to play on the Brazil’s national team. [6] He was only seventeen. [1] He led his team

to a World Cup championship in 1958 in Sweden. [1] He scored three of their five goals in

the semi-final and two of their five goals in the final game, becoming the most successful goal

scorer ever. [5] Although many European countries tried to recruit him, Brazil’s president

declared him a “national treasure,” so he stayed in Brazil. [4] Being such a prominent treasure,

he was paid well. (voc) [2] In fact, at one time, Pelé was the highest paid athlete in the entire

16 Modern World History-Based Writing Lessons: Exemplars Institute for Excellence in Writing
world. [2] With him, Brazil won two more World Cups, one in 1967 and the other in 1970. Pelé

is the only soccer player to have won three World Cups. [3] Eventually, after an extraordinary

career, he retired from professional soccer in Brazil in 1974.

[1] His retirement from soccer did not last long, however, because although he no

longer would play for Brazil, the New York Cosmos club recruited him almost immediately.

[4] Wanting to help promote soccer in the United States, he agreed to play. (voc) [6] He was a

superstar again. [1] His final public game, which was as an exhibition game between his New

York team and his former Brazil team, sold out six weeks beforehand. [3] Naturally Pelé played

half the game for the Brazil team and half the game for the New York team. [2] In line with

his character, before that game he gave a moving speech and told the crowd to “remember the

children.” He led them in a chant of “Love. Love. Love.” [5] After he played that memorable

game, he retired from the Cosmos and from playing professional soccer.

[1] Pelé’s life after soccer was also commendable. (voc) [4] Desiring to help children

in poverty, he worked with UNICEF. [2] In 1978 he received the International Peace Award for

his work. [1] He also served as Brazil’s Extraordinary Minister of Sports. [5] While he served,

he passed a law, which was called the Pelé Law, that helped reduce corruption in professional

soccer. [3] Additionally he served as a UN ambassador for ecology and environment. [2] In

1995 he received Brazil’s Gold Medal for Outstanding Service to Sport. [2] In 1999–2000 it

was no surprise when he was named “Soccer Player of the Century” as well as “Athlete of the

Century.” [1] He received many other honors and awards for both soccer and service. [1] Pelé

remained nobly active even after retirement.

[1] Pelé, who holds the record for youngest goalscorer, was a prominent figure both

on and off the soccer field. (voc) [2] At the young age of fifteen, he was a star in Brazil.

17 Modern World History-Based Writing Lessons: Exemplars Institute for Excellence in Writing
[5] Although he retired, he brought his talent to America where he was fondly admired.

[4] Being a man of outstanding character, he captured the hearts of fans from around the

world. [5] Although he succeeded in many areas, his most significant achievement was seen

on the soccer field because he encouraged and inspired those around him. [3] Additionally, he

became an excellent role model for young people. [6] Pelé scored as a champion.

Works Consulted

“Pelé.” Kidsfront.com, 12 Mar. 2018, www.kidsfront.com/biography/Pelé_biography.html.

“Pelé Biography.” A&E Television Network. 25 Aug. 2016. www.biography.com/athlete/Pelé.

“Pelé Scores 1000th Goal.” History.com, A&E Networks, 2010, www.history.com/this-day-

in- history/Pelé-scores-1000th-goal.

18 Modern World History-Based Writing Lessons: Exemplars Institute for Excellence in Writing
UNIT 9 SAMPLE

Lessons 28–29

Entertaining and Instructive

[6] Everyone loves a great mystery. [1] Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, who created the

renowned detective Sherlock Holmes, was a master of mysteries. [2] In the late 1800s he wrote

fifty-six short stories and four novels featuring Holmes. [1] People became enamored with

the detective. [3] Consequently, when Doyle attempted to end the Sherlock Holmes series by

killing off the hero, there was an immense public outcry that ultimately coerced Doyle into

bringing him back. (voc x 3) “The Adventures of the Three Students” is one of Doyle’s short

stories. (4) Featuring the detective and his sidekick, Dr. Watson, it is classic Sherlock Holmes.

[5] Although this version was abridged by Lori Verstegen in 2020, the original wording has

been left intact. [1] Only some nonessential passages in Doyle’s original version have been

omitted in places where the storyline would not be impacted.

[1] The story is set in 1895 at the College of St. Luke’s. [3] Obviously the protagonist

is Sherlock Holmes, a master detective. [2] Throughout the story Dr. Watson, who is Holmes’s

assistant, is the narrator. [4] Bringing the problem to Holmes, Mr. Soames, a tutor and lecturer

at the college, begins the mystery. [6] He is distraught. [5] After he tells the brilliant detective

his problem, he relentlessly pleads for his help. (voc) [1] The villain is unknown until the end of

the story; however, some readers may solve the mystery before Holmes if they pay attention to

the clues.

[1] The problem is brought to Holmes by a frenzied Professor Soames. (voc) [4]

Explaining that someone has tampered with papers for an exam that is to be given the next

day, he insists that he must discover who it is or postpone the exam and bring scandal upon the

19 Modern World History-Based Writing Lessons: Exemplars Institute for Excellence in Writing
college. [2] In an effort to help, he tells Holmes the clues he noticed: the scattered exam papers,

pencil shavings, a scratch on his desk, and a small clod of clay. [5] Since the time Mr. Soames

relayed the first clue, Homes has become intrigued. [6] He accepts the case. [1] Holmes arrives

at the scene, and he immediately examines the window of the professor’s study. [1] Then, he

questions Bannister, the professor’s servant who had inadvertently left the key in the professor’s

door. (voc) [1] He had also been left in the room as the professor rushed out to find Holmes.

Bannister denies knowing anything. [3] Finally, Holmes asks about the three students who live

in the building. He discovers that one of them, named Gilchrist, is a long jumper. [1] Holmes

takes the mud clod and the pencil shavings and heads home for the night to contemplate.

[1]The climax occurs the next morning. [5] As Holmes heads back to the professor,

it is clear that he has ingeniously deduced the solution to the mystery. (voc x 2) [1] First, he

calls in Bannister and accuses him of lying because he was left in the room with the culprit.

[6] Then he calls in Gilchrist. [4] Having shown that the clay in the room came from the long

jump pit, and the scratch on the desk was likely made from the spikes on the jumper’s shoes,

Holmes implicates Gilchrist. [1] He is also the only one tall enough to have been able to notice

the papers through the professor’s window. [3] Tearfully Gilchrist confesses, but he reveals a

letter he has already written stating that he will not be taking the exam. [1] We then learn that

Bannister has guided him in the right path after finding him in the room. [1] Bannister, who had

been his father’s servant, has been looking after the boy since his father passed away. [6] So all

ends well. [1] Another case is solved by the cunning Sherlock Holmes. (voc)

[1] “The Adventure of the Three Students” is an intriguing mystery that will keep

readers puzzling over the clues, which are gradually revealed throughout the narrative. (voc) [5]

Although the problem is not a dramatic one—no one is killed or kidnapped—Doyle masterfully

20 Modern World History-Based Writing Lessons: Exemplars Institute for Excellence in Writing
keeps readers engaged by providing clues sufficient enough to make a solution possible while

not giving so many that the solution is obvious. [2] Because of this, readers can match their

wits against those of the famous detective. [5] When the culprit, Gilchrist, is revealed, the

fact that he has previously determined not to take the exam adds a pleasing element. [6] His

remorse is evident. (voc) [6] Integrity is championed. [3] Additionally, the story reminds

readers that cheating is a crime that will most often be found out, bringing the story to a

satisfying ending. [4] Being both entertaining and instructive, “The Adventures of the Three

Students” is a must-read.

21 Modern World History-Based Writing Lessons: Exemplars Institute for Excellence in Writing
SAMPLE

Response to Literature

An Appalling Story

[6] Beware the Pied Piper. [3] Clearly he is the main character of the classic medieval

story entitled “The Pied Piper.” [2] Throughout the years this story has been cleverly retold by

many people. [1] It became famous since the Brothers Grimm published it in 1816. [1] Lori

Verstegen has retold this story, and it was published by the Institute for Excellence in Writing in

2020 as part of the Medieval History-Based Writing Lessons. [4] Being a legend, it is based on

the real mysterious disappearance of more than one hundred children from the town of Hamlin,

Germany. [5] Although it is an intriguing story, the Pied Piper, who is supposed to be the hero, is

greedy, vengeful, and evil.

[1]The tale is set in the bleak town of Hamelin, Germany, during the Middle Ages.(voc)

[6] Rats are everywhere. [1]The people, who are angry, insist that the mayor do something. [1]

He is the first main character of the story. [6] He is desperate. [5] When the other main character

arrives, it appears that there may be hope. [1] He is the Pied Piper, an odd fellow with a magical

flute. [3] Desperately the mayor offers the Piper a thousand guilders to remove the rats, which

begins the conflict. [6] They agree. [2] At the crack of dawn the Piper is up and begins to play his

flute. [5] As he does, all of the rats scurry out and follow him to a cliff where they bound into a

river and drown. (voc) [4] Having completed his task, the Pied Piper heads to the mayor’s office

to collect his pay. [1] The climax occurs when the mayor refuses to pay one thousand guilders.

[3] Stubbornly he insists that it is an excessive price. [6] He pays only two hundred guilders.

The next morning the Piper is heard playing his flute again. [5] When he does, all the children

immediately dash out and follow him. [4] Dancing down the street behind the Piper, the children

disappear. [1] The resolution occurs when the town’s children are never seen again.

22 Modern World History-Based Writing Lessons: Exemplars Institute for Excellence in Writing
[2] In the story, the Pied Piper is greedy and vengeful, which makes him evil. [2] First

of all, he expects too much for the simple task of ridding the town of the rats. [1] He shrewdly

takes advantage of a dire situation. (voc x 2) [5] Because the mayor pays him less than was

agreed upon, the Piper’s greed makes him vengeful. [6] He begins to plot revenge. [1] He warns

the mayor, “Will you keep your word, or will you see what else I can play on my flute?” (voc)

[3] Clearly the Piper does not help the town while it has a rat problem for noble reasons. [1] He

just wants to profit from their misfortune. [4] Having failed at acquiring the thousand guilders,

he then kidnaps the town’s children—a deplorably evil act. (voc) [1] This avaricious, vindictive,

and evil Pied Piper is not someone to admire.

[4] Being greedy, the Pied Piper of Hamelin portrays greed, vengeance, and wickedness.

[1] His character should cause us to reflect upon what makes a character a hero in a story. [3]

Admittedly the Piper helps the town when he disposes of the rats. [6] However, his motives are

selfish. [1] He is simply seeking riches for himself. [6] That is not admirable. [2] In addition, and

most importantly, retaliating so cruelly for not being paid an extravagant amount for a simple

job is deplorable. (voc x 2) [5] Even if he was wronged, there is no justification for kidnapping

children who are not at fault. [5] As the saying goes, “Two wrongs do not make a right.” [1] The

Piped Piper is no hero in this appalling story.

23 Modern World History-Based Writing Lessons: Exemplars Institute for Excellence in Writing

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