you oughta know

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/38853399.

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: F/F, F/M
Fandom: Yellowjackets (TV)
Relationship: Shauna Shipman/Jackie Taylor, Jeff Sadecki/Shauna Shipman, Jeff
Sadecki/Jackie Taylor, Vanessa "Van" Palmer/Taissa Turner, Lottie
Matthews/Natalie Scatorccio
Character: Shauna Shipman, Jeff Sadecki, Jackie Taylor (Yellowjackets), Taissa
Turner, Vanessa "Van" Palmer, Natalie Scatorccio, Misty Quigley, Lottie
Matthews, Laura Lee (Yellowjackets), Akilah (Yellowjackets), Mari
(Yellowjackets), Ben Scott, Travis Martinez
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon, Fluff and Angst, Slow Burn, Friends to
Lovers, Compulsory Heterosexuality
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2022-05-07 Updated: 2023-01-20 Words: 301,589 Chapters:
32/35

you oughta know

by checkeredvans

Summary

Shauna gawks at her, then stubbornly shakes her head. Like, why the fuck is Jackie pushing
her so much? Usually, Jackie is a fun, cuddly drunk. She’s not prone to act like a stone-
cold, annoying-ass bitch after a few drinks. And, well. Shauna’s so not equipped to deal
with this, which is why she quickly decides that her best option is to just make a beeline
straight out of Lottie's massive house. “Jackie, no. I’m leaving. And you’re going to go
outside and have fun with your awesome boyfriend,” Shauna snarks, in a somewhat squeaky
voice. And, of course, Shauna’s pathetically nimble voice just spurs Jackie to shake her
heavy head in response. There’s a sly smile creeping onto her lips, which just makes
Shauna’s aggravations triple. “Jesus Christ, Jackie. You made such a big deal about getting
with Jeff tonight. So– so why don’t you just leave me the fuck alone!”

Or: The plane crash and the Shauna/Jeff thing still happen (eventually), but Shauna and
Jackie start sneaking around months before both occur. This fic will track the events
leading to Shauna's decision to join the cult.

Notes

ok so... this fic basically assumes that the flight went down in early june, and the crash/the
wilderness (up until shauna joining the cult) will be covered.
See the end of the work for more notes
 killing me softly
Chapter Notes

s/o to users @sappysappho and @woodenpicador for the inspo to re-write and the
locker room vibes. go read both of their fics they vibe

March 16th, 1996

A surge of water droplets trickles out of each and every rust-covered showerhead, which
effectively drones out the notes of whatever song is currently whirring out of the beaten-up
boombox that Lottie always hauls to Coach Martinez’s mandated practices. The soft dribbling
sounds also ricochet off of the blue and yellow-tiled walls and echo around the mold-infested
locker room, creating a staccato beat that rings in Shauna’s ears like a brutal fire alarm.

After three straight years of spending her evenings in the purgatorial nightmare that is Wiskayok
High’s girl’s locker room, Shauna has finally managed to pin down a routine to get her out of there,
as soon as humanly possible. Each and every time she ends up here— whether it be after a
particularly grueling practice, or some long-fought home game— Shauna deliberately keeps her
head tilted downward, while the heavy stream of water pounds against the back of her skull. She
also keeps her brown eyes glued to the exact same cracked tile on the ground, just to avoid
catching Jackie’s gaze or… well.

For whatever reason, Shauna’s meddling eyes have a tendency to freely roam towards places they
shouldn’t. Places that make her skin turn bright red and force the tip of her ears to bloom into this
horrifically vibrant pink hue, once she trains her sights on them. Places that she knows she
shouldn’t be glancing at, thanks to a brief stint of half-baked Catholic worship and years upon
years of listening to Mrs. Taylor’s conservative-minded tirades. And, well. If Jackie ever actually
caught Shauna gawking at these specific places, she would honestly probably kill her, or, at least,
drop her as a friend altogether. Like, Shauna swears that if Laura Lee ever caught on to where her
eyes have been consistently drifting off to for the past few years, she would’ve dropped to her
knees and recited the Catholic rosary by now.

So, yeah. Instead of actually ruminating over why she might consistently feel the urge to glance
over at Jackie’s fully-nude body, Shauna just glares down at her toes and decides to zone the fuck
out. Like, it’s honestly so much easier to avoid the magnetic pull radiating off of Jackie’s body, if
Shauna just pretends that Jackie simply isn’t there.

But, of course, there is nothing that Jackie loves more than letting her presence be known to
Shauna.

Legitimately right as Shauna reaches a blind hand towards the small ledge that houses her Dove
soap bar, Jackie decides to clap a hand onto her bare shoulder and squeeze it tightly. The somewhat
innocent gesture manages to make Shauna’s resolve dissolve beneath the cold shower spray,
almost like she’s the Wicked Witch of the West or something. She honestly feels like she just
might slip through the cracks in the tiled floor, as she reluctantly swivels her head up. And, well.
As soon as Shauna meets Jackie’s gaze, she begins to wish that the shower drain would just suck
her up and ship her far away from Wiskayok High.
Jackie’s lips are currently pursed in this absolutely sour pout and her eyebrows are scrunched
tightly together, while her narrowed eyes wander across Shauna’s reddening face. Her wet bangs
threaten to obscure her vision by looming dangerously close to her eyes, but Jackie manages to bat
them away with a curt hand swipe. She then huffs out an annoyed sigh and plants a palm onto her
own bare hip, while Shauna desperately resists the urge to track that particular motion.

Shauna’s skin stings and itches all over, almost like she has just been bestowed the worst sunburn
known to man. Even though it’s tough, Shauna manages to keep her eyes trained on Jackie’s
aggravated face and not on regions that should be left unexplored. She then begins to bounce on
the soles of her feet and anxiously pick at her nails, right as Jackie decides to flood the shower stall
with her irritated voice.

“Jesus, Shauna. Were you even listening to me? You look like… totally out of it!” Jackie exclaims,
while running a hand through her conditioner-clad locks. A lethal mixture of suds and hot water
suddenly drips down her lean back, which just prompts Shauna to audibly gulp and jerkily nod. It’s
the only response that Shauna can conjure up right now, due in part to the static electricity that has
filled her brain and the sandpapery texture arising in her throat. But, of course, that non-answer is
not enough for Jackie. “God. This is our last Saint Patrick’s Day in Wiskayok and it’s like— it’s
like you don’t even care! Don’t you wanna dress to impress? Or do you—”

“I— I don’t really wanna go. I’m exhausted,” Shauna automatically blurts out, as per fucking usual.
She has pulled that particular card so many goddamn times, that she honestly isn’t all that
surprised when Jackie’s face instantly falls flat. Shauna also isn’t all that surprised when Jackie
lets out a scoff, before instinctively crossing her bony arms over her bare chest. The sight of
Jackie’s boobs all pushed up and drenched with water droplets makes something deep within
Shauna ache, but she somehow manages to suppress that weird-ass feeling by digging her nails into
her palm. “Plus, we have another practice tomorrow, at the ass-crack of dawn. Don’t you think we
should… I don’t know. Rest? By, um. Staying home and watching a movie… or something?”

Jackie’s eyes bulge comically wide, which allows her to gawk at Shauna like she has just sprouted
a second head. She then twists her dainty hands through her own hair and wrings out all the water,
before wrenching the rusty faucet to the side. Shauna huffs out a breath of relief, right as the
showerhead stutters to a standstill and a few stray water droplets sprinkle down onto the tiles. Now
that there isn’t a trail of water cascading down Jackie’s back like she’s starring in a Victoria’s
Secret commercial, it’s much easier for Shauna to keep her eyes directed to where they should
always be. So, yeah. Shauna stares deeply into Jackie’s hazel eyes, even as she reaches out a shaky
hand and twists off her own faucet.

“Shauna, no. We cannot skip Lottie’s party! Are you serious?” Jackie cries, almost like she has just
been completely scandalized. She then reaches around Shauna’s back and grabs both of their
towels, which have been neatly hung up on one of the rungs right outside of their jail-like shower
cell. In a matter of seconds, Jackie tosses Shauna’s raggedy gray towel in her face and wraps her
own scrap of fabric around her body in a haphazardous heap, before stepping out into the never-
ending sea of blue lockers. Shauna scurries after her and ends up right in front of their neighboring
lockers, while Jackie continues to scold her like she’s some sort of mischievous dog. “That’s like…
a war crime. It’s a serious betrayal, Shauna! Like, she literally used her own money to buy three
kegs. Not one keg, or two kegs… but three kegs. Do you even realize how expensive that is?”

Before Shauna can even attempt to stutter out another lame excuse, Jackie is tearing her towel off
of her tan frame and tossing it onto a neighboring wooden bench. It’s so casual and careless, that
it’s almost like Jackie has no qualms about the entire world seeing her naked. And, of course, that
automatically means that Jackie doesn’t give a flying fuck about Shauna seeing her naked. She
clearly isn’t fearful of Shauna accidentally ogling at her boobs or her ass, which just leads Shauna
to come to one singular conclusion.

Any weird or abnormal tension is clearly just her one-sided problem to deal with, as per fucking
usual. It’s just that… well. None of these weird urges that Shauna has been plagued with for the
past few years, have made any sense. She’s not like… well. There are some boys that she finds
cute, which basically negates any nasty rumors that might fly around if Mari or Lottie were to
detect her wandering eyes.

Maybe she’s just… jealous. Of Jackie’s beauty, of her body, of her everything.

Yeah.

That has to be it.

Jackie quirks up an eyebrow and slips on a fresh pair of underwear, while Shauna stares into the
dark abyss that is her wide-open gym locker. She gulps and reaches for the little string bag carrying
her change of clothes, before finally speaking up. “I mean, yeah. But… c’mon. There are gonna be
bigger and better parties, Jax. And we’ll be— we’ll be able to actually enjoy those. ‘Cause we’ll
be… uh. Way less busy.”

Shauna tears her bag of clothes out of its little blue holding cell, before cautiously removing her
towel. She shoves the thin strip of fabric into her locker rather haphazardly, right as Jackie begins
to bitch and moan like Shauna has just committed some kind of Cardinal Sin. “Shauna… please.
You know how much I love Saint Patrick’s Day,” Jackie whines, while slipping on a pair of jeans.
She then tosses her bra on and shoves a shirt over it, while Shauna puffs out a sigh of relief.

Crisis averted, yet again.

“I know, Jax. But I really don’t wanna go. Plus I— I just went to that baseball party with you, last
weekend,” Shauna mumbles, while frantically jumping into her own pair of jeans. And, well.
Shauna knows Jackie’s pouty routine so well at this point, that her lips instinctively twist into a
sympathetic frown and her softened eyes immediately dart over to Jackie’s face. She honestly
expects to find Jackie already staring back, with either some kind of scowl or frown marring her
delicate features. But, nope. Instead, Shauna finds a bright pink dusting on both of Jackie’s cheeks
and a flash of alarm in her eyes. And, as soon as Shauna catches them, they dart right to some
crack in the cinderblock wall. Weird. “So… yeah. Might sit this one out. And, besides. You don’t
need me there. The rest of the girls are gonna be there. Jeff is gonna—”

Somehow, Shauna manages to pull her sports bra over her head, seconds before Jackie practically
lunges at her. She plants her palm onto Shauna’s locker door and slams the metal slab shut, then
inches even closer to Shauna. They’re practically standing forehead to forehead at this point, but
Jackie still decides to lower her raspy voice to a whisper. “Exactly. Jeff is gonna be there…” Jackie
murmurs, while peering around the locker room with anxious eyes. Shauna’s head spins in
confused circles and she studies Jackie carefully, up until the moment that Jackie finally seems
satisfied with the lack of racket or damp bodies filling the cramped space. She leans in closer to
Shauna and tips her lips into her ear, which just causes Shauna to shiver all over. “I think I’m going
to… y’know. Seal the deal with him… tonight. And— um. I might need— I might need some
moral support.”

Something sours and curdles in Shauna’s stomach, as soon as those god-awful words spew out of
Jackie’s mouth. On the flip side, Shauna’s mouth fills with this disgustingly tart taste, right after
Jackie decides to crane her neck back and offer Shauna this sheepish little grin. And, although it
takes a lot of effort, Shauna manages to plaster a weak smile onto her face. She also manages to
grit out a medley of blunt words, even though her sharp jaw is now fully clenched into a taut line.
“So, you spent all this time saying that you want your first time to be special. And now you’re—
you’re going to fuck Jeff at a motherfucking Leprechaun-themed—”

“Alright, so… who wants to drive me to Lot’s later?”

Natalie claps one hand onto Shauna’s bare shoulder, then slaps another palm across the thick fabric
of Jackie’s argyle sweater. The proximity of Natalie’s husky drawl spurs Jackie to cringe, while
batting Natalie’s wet hand away. Shauna just shoots Nat a forced smile, before casually shaking
her hand off of her naked shoulder. “Not me. I’m, uh…” Shauna mutters, while glancing between
Jackie’s exasperated face and Natalie’s slight eyebrow raise. She then huffs out an irked sigh,
before pulling her tee shirt over her soaking wet locks. “I’m not going.”

The entire locker room falls so eerily silent, that Shauna swears that the sound of a pin dropping
against the linoleum floor would echo like cannon fire.

Mari picks herself up off of the end of the wooden bench, then crosses her arms over her chest and
aims a dangerous glare in Shauna’s direction. Laura Lee and Lottie both freeze mid-dance step, but
it’s actually Laura Lee who pounds on the little red button covering the top of the dinky boombox.
The song playing— which Shauna finally registers as “Killing Me Softly,” thanks to Jackie’s
constant desire to blast it in her car and over her attic speakers— ends up fizzling to an electronic
hum, which cuts through the silence like a lightning bolt. Tai and Van then peer over at Shauna
with these weirdly dubious expressions, which Shauna simply cannot quite place.

As the entire room gawks at Shauna like she is some sort of five-star celebrity, stupid fucking Allie
traipses out of the heavy doors and right into the safety of the Wiskayok hallways.

Like, of course, the stupid fucking freshman gets to skip away from this goddamn dumpster fire…
completely unscathed.

“Jesus, guys. Stop acting— stop acting so fucking weird. You all look like Misty fucking Quigley
right now. So like— stop it,” Shauna admonishes, while threading her anxious fingers through her
dampened hair. From across the room, Van responds to Shauna’s simple pleas by wheezing out a
genuine chuckle and pressing her locker shut. The rest of the Yellowjackets keep their stunned
faces pointed directly at Shauna, who has seriously begun to wilt under the burning spotlights.
“Look. I’m really not in a party mood. Plus, it’s not like any of you really need me there—”

“I ordered way too many kegs, Shauna. And my parents are coming back from that business
conference in Scranton… tomorrow…” Lottie trails off, while bending over a bit. She begins to tie
up her brand-new pair of Sambas, right as Laura Lee plucks up her bag and the weathered
boombox. “It’s all hands on deck to down those things and chuck them before I end up grounded
for the rest of the fucking season. Unless… y’know. You actually want me jailed up in my house
for the rest of the semester. Like… is this your way of saying that you want to deal with another
freshman in here?”

Shauna sighs and grabs her practice gear out of her locker, before shoving it all into her Adidas
bag. She slings the somewhat heavy strap over her shoulder, then glances over at Tai for some
moral support. Like, if anyone was going to agree with Shauna on this, it would be her.

But, nope. Of course, Shauna has no fucking luck convincing anyone to let her do her own damn
thing. Maybe it’s because she's not wearing green or whatever… but still. It’s not like luck is ever
in her damn corner, so it’s not too surprising that it decided to ditch her on Saint Patrick’s Day
weekend.

When Shauna raises an eyebrow at Tai and tilts her head like a beckoning dog, Tai just shrugs and
grabs her things off of the splintering bench. She tosses her backpack over her shoulders, before
allowing her eyes to bounce around the locker room. Her gaze continues to jump primarily between
Shauna, Jackie, and Lottie, until she eventually decides to roll her eyes and clear her throat.
“Shauna, it’s one night of the year. It’s the last big party we’re gonna have unless we qualify for
States. Even I’m going. So, maybe just—”

“See, Shipman?” Jackie practically squeals, while waving a hand behind her back. It’s directed
right at Tai, who is now shaking her head and mumbling something to Van at an almost inaudible
volume. Van then glances over at Jackie and Shauna, before raising an eyebrow at a smirking Tai.
It’s a weird-ass exchange, but Jackie’s vehement excitement for this stupid green-themed
extravaganza easily overshadows Shauna’s concerns about Van and Tai. “Literally everyone
agrees. You have to come tonight. It’s not even up for debate!”

Shauna glances around the room and meets all of the Yellowjackets’ expectant faces, before
allowing her icy resolve to crumble like a sandcastle. “Fine. I’ll go,” Shauna eventually announces,
which tears a literal squeal from Jackie’s glossy lips. She then wraps her bony arms around Shauna,
encasing her in a tight hug that basically blocks Shauna’s view of the rest of the girls.

Natalie pounds a light fist into Shauna’s back and shoots her a sloppy half-smile, then wiggles a
finger between Lottie and Laura Lee. “Alright… do you wanna head out now? I need to grab some
more smokes before this… shindig.”

Jackie loosens her grasp on Shauna’s wet tee shirt and spins around, right as Tai begins to roll her
eyes and click her tongue. Unsurprisingly, Natalie pays her no mind and opts to keep her red-
rimmed eyes on Lottie and Laura Lee. They both offer her matching head bobs, while they
robotically lean down and collect their things. It’s like everything the Yellowjackets do is routined
and meticulously planned out, at this point. Whether it’s a party or a practice or a game or a stupid
team shower-fest, everyone moves in goddamn sync.

And, honestly, Shauna is so sick of continuously maintaining the same monotonous routine. It’s
like she’s living the same day over and over again, in New fucking Jersey, of all goddamn places.
Like, Shauna really doesn’t even get why Jackie wants to stay in-state and go to Rutgers. It’s not a
lucrative or exciting future, in Shauna’s eyes.

Too bad Shauna just like, can’t tell Jackie that she feels that way. Or like, admit that she applied to
an array of out-of-state schools.

It’s not like she’ll get into any of them, anyways. Actually competing when she wants something,
has never really been her schtick. She’s not hell-bent on getting what she wants, like Tai or Jackie.
If anything, Shauna just gives up and folds under pressure like a bent-up playing card.

Case in point: Jackie is now rambling on about what Shauna should wear to this stupid function,
while the rest of the girls begin to march out of the locker room in a single-file line.

“So, like…” Jackie murmurs, while pushing her little locker shut. Shauna bites her lip and nods at
her to continue, before looping a dinky yellow lock through a thin divot on the door to her own,
metal cell. Shauna clamps it shut and tugs on the corroded metal to make sure it’s locked, right as
Jackie decides to mirror her behavior. She re-locks her own locker, while prattling on and on about
Shauna’s wardrobe (or, lack thereof). “I’m going to wear that flowery, green dress I just got from
Calvin Klein. And I think that you should borrow that light green halter top my mom got me for
Christmas. Y’know which one I’m talking about, right? It’s the—”

“It’s the one from Guess that you hate, Jackie. You said it made you look fat about nine hundred
times,” Shauna exasperatedly murmurs, with a heavy sigh. Jackie always pulls shit like this, but
Shauna’s not quite sure if Jackie does it to fish for compliments or just set her gullible ass up for
disaster. Either way, Jackie’s propensity to toss back-handed comments in Shauna’s direction is
really starting to grate her nerves. “So, maybe I should just wear that green flannel and one of my
white—”

“No, Shauna. No flannels. You always wear them and they’re not like… sexy. Don’t you wanna
spruce things up a bit?” Jackie declares, while wiggling a suggestive eyebrow. Her trademark
smirk is missing from her face and there are traces of nervousness, flickering within her hazel eyes.
Shauna squints at her and studies her face in confusion, until Jackie suddenly decides to perk up.
Whatever weird funk she was just in instantly melts away, in a matter of seconds. “And you’re—
you’re totally thinking of the wrong shirt. That’s the one from Tommy, Shauna. I'm talking about
the light green shirt I bought at the mall. It's way different than that weird, dark green shirt. Plus...
you know that my mom doesn’t shop at Guess. She thinks it’s… tacky. Or whatever.”

Shauna pinches the bridge of her nose and sucks in a deep breath, before making the valiant
decision to just… give up. It’s not like Jackie is going to cave anytime soon and Shauna would
really like to pre-game this event by laying on her sunken-in mattress, if only for a little bit.

“Yeah… right. I… um. Must’ve forgotten,” Shauna absently states, while glancing around the
now-empty locker room. As per fucking usual, the rest of the Yellowjackets have escaped Jackie’s
wrath relatively unharmed. They’re all probably sitting in their cars— or, laughing away in the
comfort of their friend’s car, in both Natalie and Laura Lee’s cases— and listening to music, while
Shauna remains under the heat of Jackie’s frighteningly intimidating gaze. Fuck. “I guess I’ll, uh.
Borrow the Guess shirt.”

In a matter of seconds, Jackie begins clapping like she’s just won the fucking jackpot. Her face
splits into this shiny smile, which shows off all of her picture-perfect, pearly whites. “Perfect. It’s
going to look so good on you,” Jackie proclaims, while allowing her eyes to drift downward. They
land on Shauna’s chest for a split second, before instantly darting back up to her rapidly reddening
face. Jackie’s smile suddenly turns sheepish and she huffs out this slew of nervous laughter under
her breath, while Shauna attempts to calm the fuck down. Like, her whole body has suddenly begun
to tingle, for no fucking reason. It doesn’t make sense for her to react this way, because it’s not like
Jackie would ever actually look at her like that. Jackie isn’t weird, or confused, or messed up…
unlike Shauna. And, well. Of course, Jackie’s next statements basically bolster Shauna’s claims in
record-breaking time. “That shirt is meant for someone with boobs… y’know?” Jackie mumbles,
while gesturing a shaky hand toward Shauna’s aforementioned boobs. There’s a tight grin on her
face and her nose scrunches up a bit, even as she begins to nervously rattle off more boob-centric
comments. “And, like… you’re boobs are so much bigger than mine. It’s actually annoying.”

The words hit Shauna like a brutal slap across the face, but it’s not like she isn’t used to Jackie’s
back-handed remarks. Like, Shauna has received so many of them over the past few years alone,
that she’s starting to build up this massive pile of sizzling resentment. It’s almost mountainous at
this point, thanks to the number of times Jackie has guilt-tripped her into wearing the boob dress
with well-timed quips and two-edged compliments.

So, yeah. Instead of actually calling Jackie out on her shit or standing up for herself, Shauna just
nods her head in agreement. She’s really not in the mood to pick a dumb fight right now, even
though she knows that Jackie’s snarky comments will be rolling around in her head for the entirety
of Lottie’s stupid Saint Patty’s kegger. Plus, the dazzling smile that Jackie suddenly decides to
flash Shauna, kind of melts most of her anger down into steaming goo.

“Right… yeah. Um, thanks?” Shauna manages to squeeze out, while bending over to re-tie her
Converses. She then whips her car keys out of one of the front pockets of her Adidas bag, before
peering over at Jackie and pulling herself upright. “Do you wanna…” Shauna trails off, while
jingling her keys with a forced grin. Jackie eagerly nods and slings her own bag over her shoulder,
then practically skips towards the exit door. Shauna quickly trudges after her, while huffing out
question after question. “So, what time do you want me to pick you up? And, do you wanna try and
use our fakes to get something other than beer? Or, should I just raid—”

Jackie whips open the heavy door and then swivels her bony body around so fast, that Shauna
nearly topples over from the abruptness of it. She manages to catch herself before she falls, but she
does stagger backward, just a little bit. “I don’t need a ride. Just like… meet me there at eight-ish.
Jeff’s driving me,” Jackie suddenly proclaims, legitimately right as Shauna regains her footing.
And, well. For whatever reason, those words instantly crater Shauna’s heart and mash her guts into
smithereens. That sour taste is back, but, this time, Shauna is unable to hide her sour look. But, of
course, Jackie seems none the fucking wiser. She pulls the door open wider and steps through it,
while buzzing with an almost overwhelming amount of glee. “Tonight is going to be so perfect.
Jeff’s being so sweet about it. And, honestly? This is going to be the best party of the year, for
sure!”

As Shauna reluctantly trails Jackie into the massive hallway, she nibbles at her lip and buries her
nails into the thick fabric of her bag’s shoulder strap. There’s this knot of anxiety twisting and
turning around in her abdomen, but she’s not quite sure why.

All Shauna does know, is that this stupid Saint Patrick’s Day party at the Matthews’ McMansion is
not going to be all that great. Or, well. At least, not for her.

Unsurprisingly, Shauna’s previous speculations about this green-themed party are proven
completely right, within approximately five seconds. She enters Lottie’s humble abode all by
herself and inches through the extensive entryway, before entering into the sticky and sweaty space
that once was the Matthews’ pristine living room. The place is over-packed with an assortment of
drunken teenagers, but it doesn’t take long for Shauna to spot Jackie amongst the throng of green-
clothed bodies. There is a red-solo cup in her hand and a lazy smile on her face, while she sits on
Jeff’s stupid lap. And, well. Jeff is currently sitting on Lottie’s leather couch and peering up at one
of his little baseball cronies, while paying Jackie absolutely zero fucking mind. It’s not a rare sight
in any shape or form, but it still makes something inside of Shauna itch with annoyance.

And then, Jackie’s glassy eyes are suddenly swiveling upwards, which allows her to meet Shauna’s
clear ones. Her half-smile instantly splits into this toothy grin and she quickly clambers off of
Jeff’s lap, in a matter of seconds. But, well. Of course, Jeff doesn’t spare a glance in Jackie’s
direction or ask her where the fuck she’s going. He just keeps talking to Chad or Brad or whoever
the fuck that blonde-haired kid is, without a care in the goddamn world.

Stupid asshole.

Jackie staggers towards Shauna with as much grace as a hurricane, then wastes no time in shoving
her bent-up cup in Shauna’s bewildered face. “Drink up. You’re late. I said– I said eight sharp,”
Jackie slurs, while Shauna nudges the red solo out of her face. She fights against the urge to gasp
out an irritated huff, right as Jackie begins to pout and bat her puppy dog-like eyes. “Don’t you
wanna– don’t you wanna have some fun with me?”

It’s honestly kind of pathetic that Shauna still hasn’t garnered up the ability to resist Jackie’s
trademark pout, but it’s seriously whatever, at this point.

She grabs the cup out of Jackie’s hand and downs it in one fast gulp, before cringing at the pungent
taste of orange juice mixed with Smirnoff. And, although Shauna’s face is currently twisted into
this sour pucker, Jackie’s features instantly light up like a goddamn Christmas Tree. Jackie then
snatches the empty cup from Shauna’s grasp and grabs ahold of her other hand, before tugging her
out onto Lottie’s crammed porch. The opening chords of “Killing Me Softly” burst through
Shauna’s ears all over again, but, this time, Lauryn Hill’s harmonies aren’t accompanied by an
annoying slew of whirring sounds. Unlike the beaten-up system that permanently lives in Lottie’s
souped-up car, this brand-new boombox shoots out harmonies and melodies with an absurd
amount of clarity.

But, well. It’s getting harder and harder to discern the steady beats shooting out of the boombox,
thanks to the molten hot Vodka currently coursing through her veins. Like, Shauna honestly
doesn’t understand how Jackie is still so bubbly, especially since her own head is practically
pounding from one single glass of that bitter-tasting mixed drink. Unfortunately, Shauna isn’t
actually able to ask Jackie how much booze she’s chugged or what her secret is to maintaining her
drunken composure.

Before Shauna can even think to ask Jackie where they’re heading, she is being lugged toward the
can-covered and overly-cramped beer pong table. There is a massive congregation of green fabric
looping around the congested area, which makes it nearly impossible for Shauna to spot any of the
Yellowjackets’ faces. But, well. After stepping up on her tippy-toes, Shauna does manage to spot
Van and Tai across the way. They are leaning up against a secluded portion of the porch railing
and chatting profusely, while Jackie hauls her toward the other side of the sticky table. She drags
her right in front of Lottie and Natalie, then loosens her grip on Shauna’s hand with a bright smile.

“Shipman just got here and she is super sober. So… I was thinking… pong?” Jackie slurs, while
running a hand through her somewhat frizzy hair. She then waves a limp hand in front of Shauna’s
face, before gesturing toward Natalie and Lottie’s stunned faces. “Me and Shauna. Versus you two.
How’s that sound?”

Lottie and Natalie glance over at each other and grin, then nod their heads in implicit
understanding. And, well. Weirdly enough, Natalie plants a hand on Jackie’s shoulder and snatches
the smashed cup right out of her hand. “Sounds like you should stop drinking. You’re slurring like
an idiot, dude…” Natalie trails off, with a smirk. Jackie just huffs and flips the finger, before
stumbling into Shauna’s side. Shauna instinctively loops a steady arm around her waist and
stabilizes her, but that gesture just spurs Natalie’s cocky grin to grow even wider. “Uh-huh, yeah.
Slow your roll there, ‘Cap. I don’t really wanna see you blow chunks on the sidelines tomorrow.”

Jackie sputters out a series of indignant huffs, but Lottie manages to beat her to the punch by
spitting out a slew of actual, enunciated words. “Besides… Nat and I just played. We absolutely
killed Van and Tai. And, uh…” Lottie murmurs, before peering over at Natalie. There’s this
indescribable flicker in her eye that Shauna has never seen before, but it makes something akin to
understanding bloom on Natalie’s face. “I really have to pee.”

“Ok, same. Yeah,” Natalie frantically states, while slamming her half-empty Budlight can onto the
plastic table. A bit of liquid spills out of the top of the can and splatters onto the expanse of white
material, but Natalie does absolutely nothing to clean it up. And, well. Natalie isn’t attempting to
wipe up any droplets of loose beer, because Lottie is already tugging her back through the sliding
doors that lead to her living room. “So… see ya guys!”

The door slams behind them with a loud clink, which echoes in Shauna’s ears like machine-gun
fire. Jackie suddenly wiggles her way out of Shauna’s grip and twirls around, just so that she can
stand right in front of her. And, well. Of course, Shauna automatically studies her face like she’s
some kind of live specimen in a lab. There’s a sheen of sweat clinging to her brow and her pupils
are blown wide, which forces Shauna to come to a scientific conclusion really fucking fast.
Jackie is plastered out of her fucking mind. Like, honestly, this might be the drunkest Shauna has
ever seen her.

But… why?

Shauna isn’t granted the opportunity to vocalize that question, because her jaw suddenly decides to
drop to the wooden floorboards that make up the Matthews’ well-crafted porch. She spots Jeff
moving towards her and Jackie on shaky legs, which just makes her stomach churn and lurch like
she’s just gotten off of one of those Six Flags roller coasters. And, well. As soon as Jeff manages to
reach where they’re standing, he clumsily wraps both of his muscular arms around Jackie’s thin
waist. And, of course, Jackie immediately begins to giggle all innocently.

Something in Shauna’s chest seizes up, which leads her to wish that she had drank way more than
half of an absolutely vile Screwdriver. So, yeah. Instead of lingering around like an awkward idiot,
Shauna decides not to be a cock-block to whatever stupid shit that Jackie has planned. She backs
away from Wiskayok’s power couple of 1996 and turns on her heel, just so that she can finally
make her grand escape. She's fully prepared to make a break for it and hide in Lottie's oversized
bathroom, but then Jackie's hand is circling her wrist from behind. As if on instinct, Shauna wheels
back around, shooting the lighter-haired girl with the levelest look she can muster.

“Hey, where are you going?” Jackie asks, rather warily. Shauna then glances over Jackie’s bony
shoulder and spots Jeff, who is currently nursing a beer and watching their interaction with a tight
smile on his face. Fucking dickhead. But, well. Shauna quickly tunes out that mental note and
focuses her attention back onto Jackie’s flushed face, right as she begins to dish out half-coherent
orders. “So… I was thinking. How about you go find Randy? Then, me and Jeff could play you and
him–”

Shauna violently wrings her wrist from Jackie’s grasp, before letting out an exasperated sigh and
rolling her tired eyes. “Hard pass. Just– just have fun with your boyfriend. I’m not in the mood to
get in your way tonight, alright?” Shauna spits, with a sharp edge to her voice. She’s suddenly so
fucking angry, even though she knows that she shouldn’t be. And, well. Jackie seems to recognize
that too, because she just stares at Shauna like a deer caught in Kevin Carnold’s headlights. “Look.
Go fuck him, go flirt with him, go fight with him, go dump him for the one-millionth time. I don’t
care, Jackie. I didn’t even want to come to this and I sure as hell don’t wanna be your third fucking
wheel all night!”

Before Jackie can even say anything in response to Shauna’s violent outburst, Shauna is twisting
back around and charging through the Matthews’ glass doors with the power of a full-fledged,
category-five hurricane. She doesn’t even bother sparing another glance in Jackie’s direction,
because there really is no point in looking back. Like, Shauna doesn’t want to catch a glimpse of
Jackie back in Jeff’s embrace. She also doesn’t want to see Jackie and Jeff full-on macking it in
front of everyone, without a care in the world. And, well. There is seriously no point in peeking
over at Wiskayok High’s golden couple, mainly because Shauna (unfortunately) already gets front-
row seats to their little displays of affection every single fucking day.

After pushing her way through a throng of her drunken classmates in the downstairs hallway,
Shauna finally manages to make it to the coveted bathroom door. She pounds her fist against it a
few times in warning, just to make sure that one or two of her classmates aren’t already in there
puking, peeing, or— God forbid — fucking in there. But, after receiving absolutely zero verbal
responses after the fifth knock, Shauna decides that the space is probably safe to enter. She shoves
her clammy hand onto the golden doorknob and makes to twist it, right as Lottie and Natalie decide
to wring the rickety door open from the other side. They stumble out of the neatly tiled bathroom in
absolute disarray, which just makes Shauna’s eyebrows perk up in complete confusion. Like,
Lottie’s black hair is an absolute mess and Natalie’s mascara is smudged beneath her eyes. It’s an
odd sight to behold, which is why Shauna stares between them with scrunched-up eyes. Natalie
gazes at Shauna warily and Lottie plays with the sleeve on her jean jacket, right as Shauna finally
musters up the energy to speak.

“What were you guys–”

“Natalie was helping me fix my makeup,” Lottie quickly states, before running a finger over one of
her lips. After a bit, Lottie pulls it away from her mouth and shoves her gloss-covered fingertip in
Shauna’s face. “See? I needed to borrow–”

“Yeah… yeah. Whatever, cool…” Shauna murmurs, while slapping Lottie’s hand out of her face.
She then pushes right past them and slides into the doorway, before twisting back around. “I’m just
gonna…” Shauna trails off, while gesturing towards the bathroom sink. Natalie and Lottie share a
glance and then nod, before shuffling off and disappearing into the sea of drunken teens.

Weird.

In an odd twist of fate, Shauna decides not to analyze Natalie and Lottie’s somewhat bizarre
demeanors. Instead, Shauna glances behind her, just to make sure that Jackie hasn’t miraculously
decided to ditch her amazing boyfriend to follow her best friend inside and check up on her. Once
she notes that the coast is clear and that Jackie would never do such a thing, Shauna swings the
bathroom door closed. She doesn’t even bother flipping up the bathroom door’s lock, because it’s
not like she plans on doing anything scandalous.

All Shauna wants to do is douse her face with some water, so she closes her eyes and leans her head
into the sink. She reaches blindly for the sink handle, right as she hears the bathroom door swing
open and then immediately slam closed. And, well. Shauna really doesn’t have the energy or the
willpower to have a full-on conversation with one of her drunk classmates, so she just keeps her
eyes closed and finally twists the water on. She cups her hands and collects copious amounts of
water, before splashing her face with the room-temperature liquid. “Occupied,” Shauna manages to
murmur out, between splashes, “use the one upstairs.”

“What the fuck crawled up your ass tonight, Shipman?”

Jackie.

Shauna sucks in a shaky breath and grits her teeth, before pulling the hand towel next to the sink
off of its rung. “Nothing,” Shauna breezily replies, while keeping her eyes glued to the towel in her
hands. She uses it to pat all of the little water droplets off of her face, then finally spins around to
meet her best friend’s venomous face. And, well. Unsurprisingly, Shauna finds Jackie glaring at
her, with her arms wrapped tightly over her chest. The angry look etched onto Jackie’s face just
makes Shauna’s blood boil even more, which spurs her to launch into a snarky tirade. “Sorry. I’m
just not in the mood to sit around and third-wheel all night. My bad for having some self-respect,
for fucking once…” Shauna murmurs, with a scoff. Jackie’s eyes narrow even further, right as
Shauna tosses the accent towel back onto its copper-toned rung. “It won’t happen again… don’t
worry.”

“Oh… fuck you,” Jackie instantly snipes back, before twisting around to lock the stupid bathroom
door. She then swivels around and shoots Shauna the stink eye, in a matter of seconds. “Don’t act
like you don’t do this shit… all the fucking time!” Jackie practically screeches, in an abnormally
shrill voice. Shauna flinches at the scratchy sound of it, then clenches her hands into fists. She can
feel her face contouring into this angry shade of red, but Jackie’s loose lips refuse to stand still.
“It’s getting ridiculous. I shouldn’t have to choose between my best friend and my boyfriend, at
every fucking party. Like– like why do you hate him so much? Do you– do you just want me to
dump him? It’s like– it’s like you don’t want me to be happy, Shauna. And– and I’m sorry I don’t
wanna be single like–”

“Are you serious right now? He doesn't make you happy, Jackie! All you do is bitch and complain
about him! You’ve– you’ve dumped him so many goddamn times! And you– and you just keep
taking him back! It’s so stupid!” Shauna automatically wails out, like machine-gun fire. Jackie just
rolls her eyes and continues to stare at her, with a defiant look on her face. Her chin is cocked up
haughtily and her lips are twisted into this smug little grin, which just makes Shauna’s irritation
skyrocket through the damn roof. “Fuck this. I’m– I’m not dealing with the aftermath of you
fucking him, Jackie. I’m done listening to you talk about him and cry about him. Like… it’s getting
so goddamn old.”

As soon as she manages to catch her breath, Shauna attempts to push past Jackie and re-enter the
party. But, of course, Shauna doesn’t actually get very far. Jackie quickly lunges closer to her and
pushes Shauna roughly, which forces her back to smash right up against the edge of Lottie’s sink.
The cold granite countertop juts into her sore lower back, which just makes her cringe way more
than Jackie’s actual words. “So, what the hell do you want me to do, Shauna?” Jackie spits, while
thrusting her hands toward the sink. She grips the countertop with tight fingers, in order to
effectively pin Shauna’s back up against it. “Just– just wait around for the perfect guy? That’s
fucking stupid. And that’s– that’s just never going to happen. I mean… look how well sitting
around and moping has worked for you.”

“Jesus. What the fuck is your problem? Like, I'm not the one being a total bitch. You are!” Shauna
manages through gritted teeth, before shoving Jackie back with just as much force. She drunkenly
stumbles back a bit, then instantly thrusts herself back into Shauna’s face. And, well. At this point,
Shauna’s anger is threatening to burst from the seams. “Let me fucking leave, Jackie. Alright? I’m
doing you a fucking favor. Stop wasting your time in here and go find–”

“Miss me with that whole 'Shauna Shipman, perfect Saint and Martyr' bullshit. How dumb do you
think I am?” Jackie announces, before gripping the countertop so tightly that her usually tanned
hands contort into this ghostly shade of white. She then begins to stare so deeply into Shauna’s
eyes, that it is almost like she is searching for something in her dark-brown irises. “Every single
time me and Jeff do anything, you flip your fucking lid. And… I don’t get it. So… explain it to me.
Now.”

Shauna gawks at her, then stubbornly shakes her head. Like, why the fuck is Jackie pushing her so
much? Usually, Jackie is a fun, cuddly drunk. She’s not prone to act like a stone-cold, annoying-
ass bitch after a few drinks. And, well. Shauna’s so not equipped to deal with this, which is why
she quickly decides that her best option is to just make a beeline straight out of Lottie's massive
house. “Jackie, no. I’m leaving. And you’re going to go outside and have fun with your awesome
boyfriend,” Shauna snarks, in a somewhat squeaky voice. And, of course, Shauna’s pathetically
nimble voice just spurs Jackie to shake her heavy head in response. There’s a sly smile creeping
onto her lips, which just makes Shauna’s aggravations triple. “Jesus Christ, Jackie. You made such
a big deal about getting with Jeff tonight. So– so why don’t you just leave me the fuck alone!”

Jackie seems to recognize the shaky timbre hidden beneath the veil of Shauna’s brash comments,
because her eyes quickly dart away from her face and towards the leaky sink. And, well. Shauna
thinks that maybe, just maybe, Jackie is conjuring up some kind of apology or an explanation for
her sudden bitchiness. But, nope.

Instead, Jackie does something so completely ludicrous, that Shauna swears her entire world will
never, ever be the same again. She shifts her attention back to Shauna and gazes at her with
darkened eyes, then slides her sweaty hands off of the granite countertop. And then, before Shauna
can use this sudden maneuver to her advantage and escape through the bathroom door, Jackie is
roughly grasping her face between her clammy hands. Shauna swears that her brain is short-
circuiting— swears that her heart is thrumming so fast she might have a heart attack, swears that
somebody’s just sucker-punched her in the stomach— as Jackie violently thrusts Shauna’s face
towards her own.

Their mouths crash together hard in a kiss that Shauna can only describe as absolutely bruising. It’s
so rough and it surprises Shauna so much, that she doesn’t even have the brainpower to kiss Jackie
back at first. Her mouth remains absolutely frozen for what feels like an eternity, while Jackie
continues to move her lips against Shauna’s in an even faster and more frantic pace. It honestly
isn’t until Shauna can feel one of Jackie’s hands slipping off of her jaw and weaving into her dark
hair, that her stagnant brain finally decides to boot back up.

She reaches both of her shaky hands out, grabbing Jackie’s waist roughly with one and Jackie’s
own jaw with the other. Jackie gasps and Shauna instinctively grips her waist even tighter, which
allows her to dig her nails into the fabric of the lighter-haired girl’s flowery green dress. In a matter
of seconds, Jackie’s eager tongue roughly nudges against Shauna’s lips. Of course, Shauna wastes
no time in opening her mouth to her. They both groan as soon as their tongues tangle together,
which seems to egg Jackie on even more. she removes her other hand from Shauna’s jaw and slips
it underneath her shirt, just so that she can scratch at the skin right above Shauna’s jean-covered
hip.

The whole thing is so feverish and frenzied— like, it’s so less than perfect— but Shauna still feels
like she’s in fucking Heaven. And, honestly, Shauna finally understands why she hates Jeff so
goddamn much. She also gets why she’s spent the last three years secretly pining over Jackie, in
the tight confines of Wiskayok High’s locker room.

With that thought in mind, Shauna pushes off of the sink and grasps Jackie’s waist even tighter.
She blindly guides her toward the bare wall opposite them, which causes Jackie’s head to smack
against it with a loud thunk. But, well. Jackie doesn’t even react to the slight mishap, at all. She
doesn’t stop kissing Shauna and she actually moans right into her mouth, instead. And, at this
point, Shauna legitimately feels like she’s on fire. Like, Shauna figures that she could
spontaneously combust at any possible second, after that fucking sound graces her eardrums.

Consequently, Shauna really can’t stop herself as she slips her hand off of Jackie’s waist, just so
that she can move it even lower. She begins to play with the hem of Jackie’s dress between her
fingertips, right after she moves her lips away from Jackie's mouth and latches them onto the
delicate skin lining her neck. And, well. Jackie doesn’t react— doesn’t say anything, doesn’t pull
away— so Shauna takes that as a sign to keep going. Her bruising lips nip and suck at the slope of
Jackie's throat, even after she places a firm palm on Jackie’s bare thigh. Shauna's fingertips quickly
trail upward and slide beneath the thin fabric of Jackie’s dress, until they eventually brush up
against Jackie’s underwear.

And, unsurprisingly, that’s where it ends.

In seconds, Jackie is thrusting a palm into Shauna’s chest and shoving her backward. She stumbles
right back into the sink and leans against it, while she attempts to catch her breath. And, of course,
Jackie just stares at her in utter confusion. She almost looks like she’s caught in some kind of drug-
incuded daze, as she rubs at her now kiss-swollen lips. It’s almost like Jackie doesn’t even
recognize that she was the one who initiated whatever the fuck that was, instead of Shauna.

Jackie attempts to slow down her own erratic breathing, by gasping and swallowing for air. The
sound of Jackie’s pants cuts through the painful silence, but her huffs and puffs also ring in
Shauna’s eardrums at an almost unbearable volume. So, Shauna tries to cut through them and get a
read on where Jackie is at, because she currently looks like she’s been totally shell-shocked.
“Jack—”

“Jackie, Shauna?”

Jeff’s booming voice rumbles from behind the bathroom door, right as the dinky doorknob begins
to jiggle. And, well. Jackie’s eyes fly open so wide, that they bulge out of their fucking sockets. She
rubs at her lips and spares Shauna one last glance, before striding toward the door on shaky legs.
It’s like, painfully obvious that Jackie is freaking the fuck out, which just makes Shauna's own
stomach flood with even more anxiety.

“You guys in there?” Jeff asks, after raising his voice an octave. Shauna shivers all over and covers
her face with her hands, right as Jackie plants a reluctant hand onto the doorknob. “I’m thinking we
head out now, a lot of people just dipped.”

“I— um. Yeah,” Jackie shakily admits, before unlocking the door and whipping it open. Shauna’s
heart instantly sinks, as soon as she spots Jeff leaning drunkenly against the doorframe, on his
stupidly muscular forearm. Jackie offers him a sheepish smile and inches closer to him, just so that
she can plant a hand on his chest. “I— I think we’re ready to leave too.”

“Good,” Jeff mumbles, while pulling himself upright. He places both of his hands on either side of
Jackie’s waist, then pulls her in for a clumsy kiss. Shauna’s blood boils as Jackie weaves a hand
into his tee shirt, before slowly craning her neck back. Their lips part with a loud smack and there
is a painfully awkward smile on Jackie’s face, which just makes Shauna’s head pound like a damn
snare drum. “Let’s get you home,” Jeff adds, before placing another quick peck on Jackie’s lips.
Then, fucking finally, Jeff’s blue eyes dart over Jackie’s shoulder. His eyes skip over Shauna’s
body and a boyish grin worms its way onto his features, right as he decides to address her like a
complete afterthought. “And I can drive you home too, Shauna. Don’t you even worry about it.”

Shauna forces the most realistic-looking fake smile that she can muster onto her kiss-swollen lips,
right as Jackie twists around to look at her. Jackie sucks in a breath, while allowing her unreadable
gaze to linger on Shauna for a moment. And then, Jackie is turning back around just as quickly, in
order to face Jeff. She runs a hand through his dirty-blonde hair, with what looks like a genuine
smile on her face. “Thanks, baby. You’re the best.”

Those words are laced with so much saccharine sweetness, that Shauna honestly wants to puke up
the meager amount of alcohol that she chugged. But, well. She isn’t granted the opportunity to,
because Jeff is suddenly reaching into the back pocket of his jeans. He clumsily whips out his car
keys, which earns yet another bright smile from Jackie. And, of course, Jackie then leans up on her
tip-toes to kiss him. As soon as she pulls back, Jackie tangles their hands together and they venture
off into the hallway.

Unsurprisingly, Shauna is back to following behind them like the lapdog that she is. It’s almost
like nothing has changed, at all.

“So, should I just drop you guys both off at yours babe?”

Jeff’s hands are gripped tightly around the wheel of his truck, as he continues to slur his words like
a drunken sailor. And, well. Shauna honestly cannot believe that the whole kiss thing has her so
fucking fucked up, that she allowed Mr. Alcohol to drive her and Jackie both home.
“Or does Shauna want to sleep at her own house?”

Shauna seethes in the backseat, while she listens to Jeff and Jackie debate about her own fucking
life. It's almost like Shauna shouldn't have a say in the matter, as per fucking usual. Initially,
Jackie's effortless ability to commandeer her life— without even bothering to ask Shauna for her
input— upset her. But now, Shauna can't help but find it kind of funny, in like, a sad, twisted, and
kind of pathetic way. Besides, how could she not find humor in the situation? Like, even Jeff– with
his pea-sized brain– seems to recognize the control that Jackie has over her life. But, well. Shauna
not only wants to talk to Jackie about the kiss, but she needs to talk to Jackie about it. So, instead of
allowing Jackie to make the decision for her, she opens her mouth. “I can just sleep at Jack—”

“It’s probably a better idea if Shauna goes home,” Jackie quickly blurts out, in a matter of seconds.
She speaks so fast, that she cuts Shauna off before she can even finish her sentence. And, well.
Shauna’s heart instantly sinks, because it’s so abundantly clear that Jackie regrets everything that
they just did. And now, Shauna’s best friend can’t even fucking look at her, as she barrels on with
an assortment of lame excuses. Like, Jackie’s reasons for banning Shauna from sleeping over are
so unrealistic, that Jeff probably wouldn’t even fall for them if he wasn’t so fucking drunk. “My
mom— um. She’s like… probably still up. I’m pretty sure she’s on some new medication or
something. And it like… keeps her up. Plus, I know I reek of booze…” Jackie mumbles, before
finally twisting around to look at Shauna. Shauna instinctively lifts her head from where it has been
resting on the window to study Jackie, whose eyes suddenly look a bit glazed over. And, well.
Shauna can’t really tell if the glassy look in Jackie's eyes is from the alcohol or from legitimate
tears, but it's not like she's granted much time to figure it out. In seconds, Jackie is shifting back
around to stare out the windshield again. Her eyes dazedly drift off into space, as she rambles on.
“So, I think I should just go in there by myself. I can definitely deal with her. But like, if I try and
sneak you in too, Shauna, she might ground me.”

“Oh, ok,” Shauna manages to mumble out, even though it currently feels like a boulder-sized lump
has found refuge in her throat. She plays with her hands in her lap, before leaning her head back
against the cold window. “That’s fine. Just… drop me off first then.”

Out of her peripheral, Shauna notices Jeff obediently nodding, so she doesn’t say anything else.
She opts to stare blankly out the window and watch the trees sail by, as Jeff’s truck careens through
her neighborhood. But, of course, Jeff can’t even allow Shauna to stew in her own feelings of self-
hatred for very long. He begins to fiddle with his radio and ends up landing on some alt-rock
station, which is currently blasting Nirvana’s “Lithium.”

In a matter of seconds, Jeff is twisting around in his seat and flashing that charismatic grin in
Shauna’s face. It honestly feels like a sucker punch, but Jeff seems none the fucking wiser. “You
like Nirvana too, right?” Jeff asks, while Jackie huffs from her place in the passenger’s seat.
Shauna nods her head rather reluctantly, then scrubs her hand over her forehead in agitation. “Sick.
So... what’s your favorite–”

Jackie smacks the radio off and shoots a death glare in Jeff’s direction, which spurs him to shut up
and swivel his head back around. Jeff then shrugs at Jackie in confusion, before passing by rows
upon rows of one-story houses. Thankfully, they eventually reach the crumbling curb in front of
the Shipman residence. Jeff puts the truck in park and Jackie remains absolutely rigid, even as
Shauna pulls her head off of the window with a heavy sigh.

“Guess I’ll see you guys tomorrow…” Shauna numbly mutters, while rubbing at her glassy eyes.
She then shifts to pop open the back door, right as Jackie decides to cross her arms over her chest.
“For the uh… Belmar parade. And practice. Right?”
“Yeah, of course!” Jeff excitedly announces, while shifting around to gaze between Shauna and
Jackie. They both offer Jeff these obscenely awkward smiles, but he’s apparently too stupid to read
between the lines. He honestly looks like an eager puppy, as he glances over at Shauna with a
toothy grin. “If you want… I can drive you.”

Shauna unbuckles her seatbelt and fights the urge to roll her eyes, because she can just tell that this
is some desperate attempt to win some more brownie points with Jackie. Like, for whatever
reason, Jeff seems to think that driving his girlfriend’s best friend places without complaining
makes him the best guy in the entire world.

But, well. It’s not like Shauna enjoys spending her hard-earned money on gas for Kevin Carnold,
so she accepts the free ride rather quickly. “No, that sounds good. Thanks... Jeff,” Shauna
announces, while gazing at the back of Jackie’s seat. She sucks in a deep breath and clears her
throat, before uttering the most pathetic sentence… ever. “And… love you, Jax. See you
tomorrow.”

A brief silence falls over the car, in a matter of seconds. And, well. Shauna swears that her heart is
beating so loudly in her chest, that there is no way that Jackie and Jeff both don’t hear it. It’s like
Shauna’s entire life has crumbled into pieces, just like the aforementioned cracking curb in front of
her own house. So, yeah. In conclusion, Jackie hates her. She regrets what they did and she clearly
doesn't want to be best friends with Shauna, now or ever again.

And, the assortment of emotionless words that spew from Jackie’s mouth, only confirm Shauna’s
deepest fears over their transgression. Jackie doesn't bother shifting in her seat to spare a glance at
Shauna and opts to speak all numbly, right into the air in front of her. “Yeah. See you tomorrow…”
Jackie stoically mutters, with a voice so cold and so unlike her normal one, that Shauna
legitimately shivers at the sound of it. Jackie then clicks her tongue and nibbles at her lip, before
delivering the killing blow. “Like… I guess.”

With that, Shauna violently whips the car door open. She stumbles her way out of the backseat and
stomps through her lawn, just so that she can make a straight beeline for the front door to her
house. And, well. Although it takes all of her willpower not to do so, Shauna keeps her eyes trained
on the peeling paint lining her rusty front door. She quickly deduces that her decision not to swivel
around and shoot a pathetic glance over at Jackie was the right one, because she suddenly hears the
tell-tale sound of Jeff’s truck’s wheels thundering down her block.

Jackie didn’t say “I love you” back to Shauna like she usually does, whenever they leave each
other’s company. Jackie didn’t help Shauna get to the front door of her house, which is one of their
standard, post-party routines. And, clearly, Jackie didn’t wait for Shauna to get into her house
safely, before giving Jeff the greenlight to speed away.

As Shauna shakily shoves her house key into the lock on her front door, she suddenly feels like she
could collapse. It’s like all of her bitterness and resentment towards Jackie finally made sense to
her, honestly. Shauna hated Jackie because she loved Jackie. She secretly despised her for actively
choosing to love Jeff’s annoying-ass, each and every goddamn day.

But, well. Apparently, Shauna wouldn’t get to feel any of Jackie’s love and affection, ever again.
Like… even the platonic kind.

As Shauna lays in her rickety old bed crying over that thought, waves of anger begin to course
through her body. Like, Jackie had started this shit. She was the one that initiated the kiss, not
Shauna. But, then, Jackie decided to get mad at Shauna about it. Which like... doesn't make sense.

After crying a bit, Shauna manages to convince herself that she might get lucky at that stupid Saint
Patrick's Day parade in Belmar. Like, maybe Jackie will explain to her why she did what she did,
tomorrow. Maybe Jackie will randomly decide to turn into an open book, while she stares at parade
floats in a bright green outfit.

But, well.

Since Shauna has to wait until tomorrow to potentially get some answers, she continues to daze up
at her wooden ceiling in complete and utter confusion.
 saint patrick died... for this?
Chapter Summary

So, Shauna really can’t help herself as she shoots up in Jackie’s bed, meeting Jackie’s
gaze in the mirror of her vanity. Shauna just really can’t help herself from testing
Jackie’s resolve, just like Jackie’s done countless times to Shauna, in the last twenty-
four hours. “What do you mean when you say, ‘that,’ Jax?” Shauna asks, as
innocently as she possibly can. It’s not like she doesn’t know what Jackie means—
like, of course, Shauna does. But, she wants to hear Jackie say it. She wants Jackie to
stop acting like it’s such an impossible thing. She wants Jackie to stop acting like it’s
the worst thing in the entire fucking world— the prospect of being gay.

“You know what I mean, Shauna,” Jackie says, sounding all frustrated, as she stares at
Shauna with pleading eyes— through the mirror’s reflection. Like she’s begging
Shauna not to make her say it. “Like… like how Tai and Van are, Shauna.”

Or: The kiss aftermath.

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

March 17th, 1996

When Shauna wakes up the next morning, a fierce wave of nausea hits her so hard that she feels
like she might hurl all of her guts out. And in typical Shauna Shipman fashion, she tries to fool
herself, because accepting what she knows is the undeniable truth might destroy her. So, she tells
herself it must be all of the alcohol she consumed the night prior that's making her feel this shitty.
A fierce hangover that somehow manages to avoid giving her a searing headache— but somehow
makes her feel like somebody has booted a soccer ball right into her abdomen. A fierce hangover
that she somehow acquired after drinking less than two cups of a mixed drink— a mixed drink that
Jackie had reprimanded her for drinking because it was apparently so disgusting.

Well, that last thought demolishes the entire carefully-constructed charade Shauna has
manufactured about why she feels so sick to her stomach, in milliseconds. It’s not the disgusting
drink itself that is to blame for this. No, it’s the mixed drink’s harshest critic that is to blame.
Jackie fucking Taylor. Shauna’s tenured (former?) best friend, who drunkenly decided to open up a
can of worms, just to freak out once those metaphorical worms touched her. Ugh. That thought
makes Shauna shiver all over. Makes her feel even sicker to her stomach. She really cannot believe
she just compared her own lips to a pair of slimy fucking worms.

But, well, maybe Shauna’s onto something with that line of thought. Maybe that’s why Jackie
freaked out so much the night prior— why she was unable to look Shauna in the eyes after their
little rendezvous in Lottie’s bathroom. Maybe Shauna’s just a bad kisser— and Jackie doesn’t hate
Shauna— just feels bad for her and her lack of kissing skills. Shauna knows it's a ludicrous thought
— the idea that Jackie would be acting so weird and regretful for that mundane, simple reason.
But, she allows herself to indulge in some wishful thinking, because she knows it’s the only thing
that will help her power through the day. It’s the only thing that will help her muster up the
courage to face Jackie— and their potentially wrecked friendship— at this stupid Saint Patrick’s
Day parade. It’s ironic, honestly. How everyone’s celebrating a dead guy who lived hundreds of
years ago, while Shauna— who is still very much alive— slowly dies a bit inside.

And then, Jackie’s words from the night before are replaying over and over again in Shauna’s head
like a broken record. “He like… died for this.” Did he, though? Did Saint Patrick die, just so Jackie
had an excuse to get drunk enough to break Shauna’s heart? Shauna didn’t know the answer to that
one. She might have been interested in becoming a practicing Catholic for a bit when she was
younger— around the time her parents split up for the first time— but she wasn’t Laura Lee. She
didn’t know everything there was to know about the Saints, and her little “I want to be Catholic
and go to church” stint was pretty short-lived. And, it was Jackie herself that had decided to cut
that whole stunt off, way before Shauna could allow herself to become a full-fledged copy of Laura
Lee. Apparently, Jackie couldn’t be best friends with a Jesus freak, because she already hated
going to church with her parents enough. So, Shauna quickly severed ties with Jesus right after that,
inadvertently replacing him with another J-named individual to worship and take advice from.

And, (somewhat?) thankfully for Shauna, she’s freed from ruminating on that downright pathetic
concept by a slew of harsh car honks. Like the obedient and trained dog she’s become, Shauna
reluctantly pulls herself out of her little bed cocoon. Jeff continues laying the fist down on his
truck’s horn as Shauna makes her way to her closet, whipping out a fresh pair of jeans and an old
green sweatshirt she’s had since freshman year. She tosses both items of clothing on in a flourish—
and God, Shauna’s suddenly happy she’s not actually hungover and that both her parents aren’t
home— because Jeff just continues on and on with his relentless honking onslaught.

It isn’t until she’s stumbling out of her front door and towards Jeff’s Ford-150— parked right in
front of Shauna’s curb, just like it was less than ten hours ago— that he finally stops pounding his
stupid fist against the stupid horn. And, if all that honking didn’t drive Shauna absolutely fucking
insane, then it's Randy fucking Walsh sitting in the backseat that does. Shauna fights the urge to
roll her eyes as he and Jeff both wave dumbly at her— an action that Jackie, in the passenger seat,
doesn’t seem to feel the need to mirror. She doesn’t even spare Shauna a glance, just keeps her
head down and picks at her nails, as the darker-haired girl approaches the vehicle.

Unsurprisingly, Shauna wrings the truck’s backdoor open without much fanfare from Jackie—
who looks up from her nails just to gaze at Jeff like he’s the sun, the moon, and the stars— then
slides right into the backseat. Shauna's jean-clad ass barely even manages to skim the rough leather
interior of Jeff’s truck before Randy’s got one of his slimy hands on her knee, gripping at it like he
knows she would rather run away than deal with any of this shit. She knows that it's absolutely not
about that, though. It never is with Randy— who's been trying to get into her pants since Jeff and
Jackie started dating, during freshman year. And, of course, she can always count on Randy to
prove her suspicions right. God forbid he ever prove her wrong, and show her that maybe he is
worthy of her affection— like she would ever give it to him, anyway.

“Heard from Jackie that you had a rough night. Huh, Shauna?” Randy mumbles, as Shauna grabs
his hand off her knee and drops it back onto the empty stretch of leather between them. “Had too
much to drink… totally been there myself. If you know what I mean,” he adds, shooting Shauna a
suggestive eyebrow.

Shauna scoffs and turns her attention from Randy’s suggestive look to the passenger-side headrest
in front of her, hoping that Jackie can somehow feel the lasers that Shauna’s trying to shoot at her
— with her eyes— through the thick fabric of the seat. And, maybe Jackie actually does feel the
sweet sting of Shauna’s brutal eye lasers scorching her, after all.

Because as soon as Shauna begins to open her mouth— ready to tell Randy that no, she didn’t drink
that much last night, she can’t relate to him, and Jackie’s a big huge liar (amongst other things)—
the previously quiet lighter-haired girl is suddenly talking a mile a fucking minute.

“Yeah, but you know what? I think we both had way too much to drink last night,” Jackie abruptly
announces, before finally shifting her body around— in her seat— to face Shauna. Of course, much
to the darker-haired girl’s dismay, Jackie’s eyes on hers melt Shauna’s temper down like an ice
cream cone from Hoffman’s on a hot summer’s day. She’s staring at Shauna with this dark look in
her eyes— half-stern, half desperate— like she’s both commanding and pleading with Shauna to
just keep her mouth shut. “Right, Shauna?” she sharply adds, and it comes out more like a demand
than a genuine question.

And, suddenly, Shauna’s entire desire to fight is sucked out of her in an instant. It’s like all of the
life has just been completely sucked out of her— as a result of Jackie’s words— too. But honestly,
maybe Shauna should be happy about Jackie’s desire to just drop the entire subject of Lottie’s Saint
Patrick’s Day party from hell, altogether. Shauna figures that it’s better not to pry, better to not
make things weirder between her and Jackie. If Jackie just wants to drop the subject entirely— so
that they can just move on and pretend like nothing happened— Shauna thinks she can live with
that. As long as it means Jackie’s still her best friend and Jackie doesn’t hate her, Shauna can stew
in whatever it is she’s feeling right now— this icky combination of resentment, of jealousy, of the
feeling of being used. Besides, Shauna knows she’ll get over this and stop thinking about the kiss
eventually… right?

“Yeah. Right,” Shauna eventually concedes, voice coming out all quiet and squeaky— kind of
mouse-like. Pathetic. “Too much Malibu… for the both of us,” she quickly adds, after clearing her
throat of whatever it was that had made her sound so miserable at first.

Shauna can feel her own heart pulsing erratically in her chest as she waits for some kind of
response from Jackie— legitimately anything, verbal or nonverbal, she doesn’t really care— to
confirm that she’s said the right thing. That she’s done exactly what Jackie wanted her to, and that
Jackie can just let them move past this.

Apparently, Shauna did say the right thing, because it isn’t long before Jackie’s treating her with
both a verbal and a nonverbal response. Her eyes soften and revert back to that light hazel color
that Shauna’s become so accustomed to over the years, and then she’s grinning at Shauna with that
jaw-dropping Jackie Taylor smile— white teeth shining brightly, dimples on full display, nose
slightly scrunched up. It prompts a matching smile to make its way onto Shauna’s face— so
instinctively that Shauna doesn’t even initially realize that she is, in fact, smiling back— as Jackie
excitedly rambles on.

“Ugh, yeah. No more rum for us, I guess!” she proclaims, before leaning out of her seat further and
stretching one of her arms towards Shauna. She places a hand on Shauna’s knee, just like how
Randy had earlier. But, unlike Randy’s touch, this one sends shivers down Shauna’s spine. So,
Shauna says a silent prayer that Jackie somehow can’t feel the goosebumps prickling on the skin of
her knee beneath the lighter-haired girl’s touch, as Jackie continues chattering away. “I am so
happy you agreed to drive with us instead of meeting us at the parade, Shipman. Don’t think I
could deal with these two idiots on my own,” she playfully teases, resulting in a light swat on the
shoulder from Jeff.

And, just like that, Jackie’s turning around and her hand is slipping right off of Shauna’s knee like
she’s an afterthought. Then Jackie’s eyes are back on Jeff, and she’s smiling so brightly at him that
Shauna suddenly finds the lighter-haired girl’s smile blinding rather than comforting. So, rather
than allowing Jackie and Jeff’s blatant PDA to spin another whirlpool in her stomach, Shauna
gazes absently out the window. Shauna also ignores whatever bullshit Randy’s attempting to spew
at her— just nods her head along absently, every so often— as she surveys all the restaurants,
houses, and little businesses they pass by on their way to Belmar.

Because God, if there is one thing somehow worse than watching Jackie stick her tongue down
Jeff’s throat, it’s listening to Randy Walsh talk about the Jets’ offseason trades.

Shauna mentally checks out halfway through the Saint Patrick’s Day parade, right after a float—
carrying a bunch of people in matching, green Jets jerseys— passes by. Although it’s this specific
float that pushes her over the edge, Shauna knows she’s been dangerously close to teetering over it
all god damn day. And, honestly, she really is kind of proud of herself for managing to last this
long without full-on snapping.

Randy’s been chattering in her ear about some of the most nonsensical things in the world for the
last hour and a half— think beers, boobs, and football— while Jackie and Jeff switch between
making out and arguing, right next to them. So, yeah. Shauna’s already a little on edge when the
Jets fans pass by, and Randy says something that just… completely sets her off.

He spots the Jets float driving towards them way before Shauna does, so it’s not like Shauna has
the time to mentally prepare herself for the amount of fanboying she is about to endure. But, it isn’t
even Randy’s downright obsession with one of the worst football teams to exist that has her
clenching her fists with rage. Instead, it’s something he discloses to Shauna so casually and so
frivolously, that has Shauna absolutely reeling.

“Hey, Shauna! Look at that Jets float. That’s fucking sick,” he giddily announces, looking and
sounding like an oversized kid as he points a chubby finger at the Jets-themed float. Shauna just
nods and plasters a fake smile on her face— in an effort to keep the peace, for Jackie’s sake. But
then, Randy’s spewing a load of bullshit that basically confirms all of Shauna’s suspicions as to
why he’s even there in the first place, and Shauna no longer feels the need to keep the peace. “I
think it’s really cool you like football. Not a lot of girls out there that do, so I’m really glad that
Jackie decided to set us up on this double date. We like… work, yanno?”

The fake smile on Shauna’s face immediately melts right off of her lips, and a deep scowl quickly
replaces it. For a moment Shauna just stands there, automatically clenching her hands into tight
fists, as she interprets the gravity of what Randy’s just admitted to her. Apparently, Randy didn’t
receive a last-second invitation to this little parade hang-out just so that Jeff would have a guy
friend to talk to, after all. Evidently, Jackie had lied to her about why Randy was invited, because
that was the bullshit explanation she fed Shauna with— as soon as the darker-haired girl began to
whisper complaints about him into Jackie’s ear. No, Jackie didn’t tell Shauna that Randy was
invited under the pretense that this was some sort of fucked-up, double-date from hell. She
apparently made sure to purposely withhold that piece of information from Shauna, who Jackie
knew would never agree to go on a date with Randy fucking Walsh.

And, suddenly, Shauna can no longer stand putting up with this bullshit for even a second longer.
Less than twenty-four hours ago, Jackie was practically throwing herself at Shauna in Lottie
Matthews’ bougie bathroom. Now she was unabashedly making out with Jeff in public— which
was always a rarity, even when Jackie was drunk— and attempting to covertly set Shauna up with
Randy fucking Walsh. Well, fuck that. And fuck Jackie and her fucking bullshit.

As Shauna abruptly pushes right past a perplexed Randy Walsh, something happens that makes the
darker-haired girl second-guess her newfound belief that she’s secretly cursed (or, something).
She’s hauled it about three or four feet away from Randy and the stupid J-name lovebirds when
Shauna suddenly feels a cold hand on her shoulder. At first, she automatically winces, fully
believing that it’s Jackie coming to collect her. So, as Shauna wheels around, she mentally prepares
herself to engage in yet another screaming match. And, Shauna knows it’s not like this one will
have a “happy ending.” There sure as hell won’t ever be another Lottie’s bathroom incident—
especially not in public, like this.

But, miraculously enough, it isn’t Jackie that Shauna comes face-to-face with when she whips
around. It’s Van, beaming at Shauna with a four-leaf clover drawn on her cheek and a shamrock
shake from McDonald’s in her hand. Honestly, Van’s such a sight for Shauna’s sore and tired eyes,
that Shauna can’t help but let out a deep sigh of relief.

“Damn, guess somebody’s really excited to see me,” Van cheekily proclaims, and then Shauna’s
shyly smiling along with her. “How’s your day been, Shipman? You paying respect to my
heritage?” she teases, before waving her shake in Shauna’s face. Shauna playfully taps it out of her
face and laughs, so incredibly excited about talking to somebody other than Randy, for the first
time in hours.

“Of course, yeah… but um. Apparently, I’m here for other reasons too,” Shauna pronounces, with
a reluctant head shake. Van shoots her an inquisitive look and then nods at her to go on, so Shauna
continues. “Well, Jackie decided that the parade was the perfect place for her and Jeff to go on a
double date with me…” she pauses for a second, just to suck in a deep breath. “And Randy
Walsh.”

Van’s free hand shoots up to cover her mouth as she breaks out into the loudest, most infectious
laugh in the entire world. Like, Van’s eyes legitimately begin to tear up because she’s laughing that
hard, and Shauna can’t stop herself from joining in on the laughter. Because, honestly, the whole
situation is funny— ridiculous, but funny.

And then, Shauna spots Tai over Van’s shoulder, pushing past swarms of people dressed in green
to get over to where they’re currently standing. When she finally manages to make her way through
the crowd and sidle up beside Van, both she and Shauna are still cackling over the fucked-up
hilarity that is Shauna’s entire life.

“Alright, I wasn’t in the bathroom that long. What the hell did I miss?” Tai questions. Shauna and
Van look between each other, and then at Tai, before bursting into another fit of laughter. “Jesus. I
was gone for what… ten minutes? Spill, you big idiots.”

“Shauna,” Van manages between laughs, rubbing at her watery eyes. “This one’s all yours to tell.
Tai, you are gonna love it,” she adds with conviction, before breaking down into heavy laughter,
again.

Shauna lets out one last chuckle before calming down her erratic breathing by sucking in a deep
breath. Once Shauna lets her breath out, Tai gestures for her to speak with a wave of her hand. So,
Shauna does. “Well, I just told Van that I uh… I came here with Jackie and Jeff…”

“Ok?” Tai grumbles, accompanied by an eye-roll. “How is that funny? Isn’t that like, a thing you
normally do?” she adds, glancing between Shauna and Van— clearly perplexed by what exactly is
so humorous about the situation. “Hanging out with them, I mean.”

“Well yeah,” Shauna concedes, shrugging. “But, usually, I don’t go on double-dates with them…
and Randy Walsh.”

The response is instantaneous. Tai clutches at her stomach and legitimately keels over, because
she’s laughing that hard. Van chuckles just a little bit again, and then begins to rub a hand up and
down Taissa’s back.

“Oh my God,” Tai chokes out, before pulling herself upright. She holds a hand to her heart as she
sucks in a few steady breaths. Van continues stroking a reassuring hand up Tai’s back, until Tai
eventually recovers from her laugh attack. “Shauna, what the hell? Why the fuck would you agree
to that?”

“Do you seriously think I agreed to it?” Shauna declares, with so much conviction, that Tai places
a hand over her mouth— in both shock and disgust. “Everyone knows Randy sucks! And he’s
weird and gross! Jackie set us up… then lied to me about it,” she loudly announces, verging on
hysterical. She throws up her hands in defeat as she just barrels on, so wound up over everything
that she just can’t stop. “Oh… and that’s not even the best part. You know what— fuck it. I
probably shouldn’t even be telling you guys this, but—”

“Shauna!”

Shauna winces as she spots Jackie marching over, and she can't stop herself from automatically
closing her eyes. She hopes that somehow, when she opens them, Jackie will have magically
disappeared. However, by the time Shauna wrenches her eyes back open, Jackie has managed to
wedge herself between Van and Tai. She stares at Shauna with concern riddled all over her tanned
features, almost like Jackie feels like she has the right or reason to be worried about Shauna’s well-
being, after all the shit she’s done to her in the last twenty-four hours. Maybe the whole Randy
Walsh surprise date thing was Jackie’s revenge for the shit at Lottie’s, and she regrets being that
much of a bitch to her. Maybe she’s here to apologize to Shauna for going too far with her revenge
plot. At this point, considering how weird Jackie’s been, Shauna fully believes that anything’s
possible.

“Hey, so Jeff wants to leave now. So we can beat all the traffic,” Jackie cautiously states, reaching
for Shauna’s hand. Shauna instinctively pulls it away before Jackie can link their hands together.
“Jesus, what the hell—”

“I don’t feel like leaving,” Shauna stoically mutters, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’ll find
another ride,” she adds, before gazing over at Taissa with pleading eyes.

Thankfully, Taissa seems to understand Shauna’s silent plea, and accepts it without much of an
afterthought. Apparently, Tai’s really sympathetic about the whole Randy Walsh thing. “Yeah… I
can drive you home, Shauna. That way you can stay and watch the rest of the parade, it’s really no
big deal,” Tai says, shooting Shauna a soft smile.

“Ok… but I really wanted to talk to you, Shauna,” Jackie admits, crossing her own arms over her
chest. Shauna just shakes her head and waves a hand out dismissively in response, prompting Van
and Tai to exchange a curious side-glance. Jackie doesn’t seem to notice how confused and
invested Van and Tai seem in their little verbal spar, as she just continues on, without a care in the
world. “Seriously, Shauna. It’s important… it’s…” she breaks off, taking in a deep breath. “It’s
about last night.”

Tai and Van exchange another look, but this time it’s kind of weird. They’re looking at each other
incredibly intensely— almost like they’ve both managed to figure something out. But, Shauna
doesn’t really bother trying to interpret their weird, telepathic form of communication.

Instead, she sucks in a deep breath and loosens her arms, dropping them to her sides. Jackie’s still
staring at her, half-expectantly and half-pleadingly, and Shauna finally relents. “Fine, Jackie,” she
sharply announces, thrusting her arms back up into the sky. “And then maybe once we're done
talking about that... you can tell me why you felt the need to try and whore me off to Randy Walsh
today.”

Jackie scoffs and gawks at her— like she almost can't believe Shauna's airing their dirty laundry
out, like this, in front of Tai and Van— and then she roughly seizes Shauna’s wrist. “See you guys
at practice tomorrow, enjoy the rest of your holiday!” she exasperatedly mumbles to Tai and Van,
before turning around. She doesn’t even look at Shauna or ask Shauna if she's done talking to Tai
and Van. Instead, Jackie just begins to march away and drag Shauna along behind her, like a dog
on a leash.

“Yeah, ok! Bye, Shauna! Bye, Jackie! Have a good talk!” Shauna hears Van call after them, and
Shauna swears she can hear Tai and Van break off into laughter. Either Jackie doesn't hear it or
Jackie doesn't care, because she doesn't stop or turn to look back at the two of them. Instead, Jackie
just continues to roughly tug Shauna through the crowd— back towards Jeff and Randy.

Her wrist might have hurt like hell from Jackie’s tight grip on it, but Shauna thought that was a
pretty small price to pay. Like, Shauna would allow Jackie to twist her arm backward and break it,
if that’s what it took to convince Jackie to discuss the whole kiss thing. Maybe Shauna would
finally get some answers from her best friend, who had managed to send Shauna on a never-ending
emotional whirlwind for the past twenty-four hours. Hell, maybe Jackie would admit that the kiss
was good and that she secretly didn’t regret it, either.

“I mean, I think we should just forget about it. We were both really drunk.”

Shauna lays on Jackie’s queen-sized bed, staring blankly at the smooth white ceiling, as Jackie
paces nervously around her oversized bedroom. For the second time in less than twenty-four hours,
she fights the urge to correct Jackie. They weren’t both really drunk— maybe Jackie was really
drunk, but Shauna herself was just barely tipsy. But, how would that help Shauna’s case? That
would just make Shauna look worse— would make it look like she took advantage of Jackie. So,
she keeps her mouth shut, and pretends like she’s on the same page as her best friend.

“Plus I’m not… I’m totally not like that. Like, I’m so into Jeff. And you’re… you’re not like that,
either,” Jackie continues, voice pitching an octave higher as her shoes squeak faster and faster
against the wooden floor. “We’re not like that,” she then breathlessly announces, stopping in front
of her vanity. Shauna can hear Jackie suck in a deep breath, can almost sense Jackie staring at
herself in the mirror, before she’s starting up again. “We were just drunk, we’re not like that.
We’re not like that, Shauna.”

And God, fine. Shauna’s fine with Jackie regretting the kiss, it’s whatever. She can get over
whatever it is that she’s begun to feel towards Jackie— this like, chaotic mixture of longing and
hate and love— but she physically cannot listen to her continue to say the word “that.” It’s almost
like the words lesbian and gay are absolutely vile to Jackie. She’s legitimately acting like Laura
fucking Lee does whenever one of them says something worse than shit or crap in front of her, at
practice. It’s like the mere concept of being gay is just… incomprehensible to Jackie.

So, Shauna really can’t help herself as she shoots up in Jackie’s bed, meeting Jackie’s gaze in the
mirror of her vanity. Shauna just really can’t help herself from testing Jackie’s resolve, just like
Jackie’s done countless times to Shauna, in the last twenty-four hours. “What do you mean when
you say, ‘that,’ Jax?” Shauna asks, as innocently as she possibly can. It’s not like she doesn’t know
what Jackie means— like, of course, Shauna does. But, she wants to hear Jackie say it. She wants
Jackie to stop acting like it’s such an impossible thing. She wants Jackie to stop acting like it’s the
worst thing in the entire fucking world— the prospect of being gay.

“You know what I mean, Shauna,” Jackie says, sounding all frustrated, as she stares at Shauna with
pleading eyes— through the mirror’s reflection. Like she’s begging Shauna not to make her say it.
“Like… like how Tai and Van are.”
“Like Tai and Van are what, Jackie?” Shauna fires back, and Jackie’s finally turning around to face
her— head-on. “They’re what, Jackie. What are they?” she persists, and Jackie’s clenching her
hands into fists. Jackie looks like she might explode at any moment— her face has turned a tomato
shade of red— but Shauna wants Jackie to say it. Shauna needs her to say it, because she doesn’t
understand why Jackie just can’t bear the idea of even saying the words gay or lesbian. “Just say it.
Say the word, Jackie. It’s not like it’s a derogatory term, Jackie. Just say—”

“Fine! Fuck! They’re gay! They’re gay for each other, Shauna!” Jackie wails, so loudly that
Shauna’s so incredibly glad that both of Jackie’s parents are still at some Yacht Club party.
“They’re lesbians and we’re not!” Jackie continues on, and then Shauna’s sinking down— so she’s
laying flat on the mattress again. And then, Shauna just entirely freezes— she’s in that much
complete and utter shock— when Jackie finally sidles up beside the bed. Shauna doesn’t move a
singular muscle as Jackie looms over her, with her arms crossed over her chest, staring down at
Shauna with glassy eyes and a flushed face. “There, are you fucking happy now?” she questions
sharply, before leaning her head further down— so that their faces are mere inches apart. “I said it,
Shauna,” she spits, and Shauna swears Jackie’s hazel eyes drift to her lips for just a second.

But then, before Shauna can even say anything, Jackie’s jerking her head away and pacing back to
her dresser. Shauna scrambles to sit up— tries desperately to calm her now erratic breathing— as
she notices Jackie glaring at her through the mirror. And God, Shauna really cannot believe that
Jackie got that mad over having to say two fucking words. Like, Shauna expected a bit of backlash,
but she didn’t expect Jackie to flip absolute shit on her. So, Shauna decides it’s best if she waves
the white flag. Besides, she really needs this conversation to continue, because she wants to know
why Jackie had decided to try and pair her off with Randy fucking Walsh.

“Hey, look. I’m sorry, ok? I didn't mean to make you all upset," Shauna lies, right through her
teeth; she's not sorry, not sorry at all. But Jackie’s eyes instantly soften, her face returns to its
normal hue, and she turns back around to face Shauna. It’s like Jackie’s entire meltdown didn’t just
happen, at all. “And yeah… ok. Now that the whole thing at Lottie’s has been dealt with…” she
cautiously adds, expecting some kind of face or wince from Jackie. Jackie does neither, so Shauna
takes that as a sign to continue. “I um… I just want to know why. Like, why’d you try and set me
up with Randy? You know I don’t like him… and it, it kind of caught me off guard today.”

Jackie deeply sighs— like she’s suddenly feeling all put-upon— before rubbing gently at her hazel
eyes. “I… I dunno. Yesterday at Lottie’s party, you seemed um… sad. When Jeff came over and
hugged me,” she mumbles, pulling her hands away from her eyes. And now Jackie’s staring at
Shauna with this weird look in her eyes— like she feels guilty, but she’s also sad too— leaving
Shauna even more confused. “I figured it was because you were lonely and I thought… maybe if
you hit it off with Randy, you wouldn’t be.”

Shauna really doesn’t know how she feels about that statement. Sure, it’s kind of sweet that Jackie
cares— that Jackie can tell when Shauna’s feeling lonely, and tries to fix that for her. But, does
Jackie really think that Randy Walsh is the one who can fix Shauna’s loneliness? Does she think
Shauna’s some boy-crazy girl, who's desperate for any guy’s affection? Like, Shauna wasn’t even
sad over not having a boyfriend. She was sad that Jackie preferred hanging out with hers, over
hanging out with Shauna.

But, obviously, she wasn’t about to admit to her own feelings of jealousy. So, instead, she just
fakes yet another smile— her probably like, one-hundredth one of the day. “Jax, I appreciate you
trying to help me,” Shauna mumbles, trying desperately to sound reassuring. “But I don’t need you
playing matchmaker for me, ok? I’d rather just… wait. Wait for the perfect guy to come along…
like how Jeff did for you.”
 Jackie nods at that statement, albeit slightly hesitantly, and Shauna tries to pretend like she doesn’t
notice it. She really doesn’t want to read that far into it, because she’s clearly been overthinking
everything that’s gone on in the last day or so. Thankfully, Jackie also seems to just want to move
past the last twenty-four hours, too.

“So um… my parents won’t be home for like, another hour,” she announces, after a brief stint of
silence. “We could like, start a movie? Before they get home?”

Shauna practically leaps off of the bed, a genuine smile already tugging at the corners of her lips.
Fucking finally. “Sure yeah, sounds like a great idea,” Shauna answers, heading for the bedroom
door. She pauses though, leaning her back against it— so she can face Jackie. “I’m really glad we
uh… we had this talk,” she admits, voice laced with sincerity. “Seriously, I just. I just don’t want
things to be weird between us like this, ever again.”

Jackie nods, a sparkling smile engraved into her own mouth. “Me too, Shipman. Me too,” she
murmurs, and Shauna swears she can see the gears churning in Jackie’s head. “Now let’s get a
move on, we’re cutting into movie time,” Jackie proclaims, clapping her hands rapidly.

Shauna follows her command, as she always does, and they end up watching Beaches in Jackie’s
little basement theater— for what feels like the one-thousandth time. But, Shauna can’t find it in
herself to care. Not when the weird tension that has festered between her and Jackie within the last
day has finally cooled down.

So, Shauna actively chooses to ignore the fact that Jackie seems to purposely keep some space
between them on the couch, instead of cuddling up into Shauna— like she usually does. She
decides that, for what feels like the one-millionth time in the last twenty-four hours, she’s just
overthinking it. Consequently, Shauna just decides to shut her goddamn brain off, and enjoy the
movie. She decides to enjoy this time with Jackie, because she knows that they very well could be
running on borrowed time. She knows that a little envelope from Brown could arrive in her
mailbox on any given day, altering their conjoined college plans in the blink of an eye.

Besides, whenever she gets to spend time with Jackie like this, Shauna forgets about all of the
stupid shit that’s been weighing on her conscience. It isn’t long before she forgets about the letter,
and about how jealous she is of Jeff, and about how much the kiss actually did mean to her. Well,
maybe she didn’t forget about that last one, although she wishes she could.

Chapter End Notes

this update was hella quick cuz i wrote the first two chaps together... idk if my
turnaround rate will always be this fast but I do hope to update this around once or
maybe twice a week?? anyways, hope yall are enjoying so far.

and... coming up in next week's chapter: Mari's party. where history repeats itself,
jackie starts to recognize she's lying to herself, and shauna makes a big mistake.
 i love you, jackie
Chapter Summary

Deep down, Shauna knows these factors aren’t to blame for the words she allows to
slip from her mouth. Maybe they help expedite the process, but they’re not the sole
cause. She’s drunk from the alcohol, she’s drunk with lust; but she loves Jackie when
she’s not under the influence of either, too. So, before Shauna can even identify what
exactly it is that she’s saying, the words are spewing out of her mouth like rapid
machine-gun fire. Once they’re out in the open, she knows that she can’t take them
back; not now, not ever.

“I love you, Jackie,” Shauna manages to pant out, between kisses. “I love you, so
fucking much.”

Or: Jackie's erratic behavior drives Shauna so insane at Mari's party, that Shauna ends
up making a colossal mistake on the way home.

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

April 6th, 1996

In moments like this, Shauna really wishes that she had the power to completely shut her brain off.
It’s like her mind loves to play tricks on her; almost like it legitimately loves to set her up for
failure, for pain, for suffering. And Shauna’s really fucking sick of it, she’s tired of it. All she ever
does is overthink things, and it constantly gets her into trouble.

Case in point: Shauna’s sitting on Mari’s floral couch— chugging down her fourth Budlight of the
night— and is currently trying to psycho-analyze Jackie’s amazing, albeit slightly jarring, change
in behavior. Ever since they discussed the whole kiss thing after the Saint Patrick’s Day parade,
Jackie seems to be prioritizing hanging out with Shauna over hanging out with Jeff. And yeah, it’s
great. Shauna loves that Jackie suddenly doesn’t feel all that obligated to split her time equally
between her best friend and her boyfriend, but Shauna can still admit that the drastic change is
weird. It’s like Jackie’s been purposely going out of her way— like Jackie’s been doing everything
in her power— to be alone with Shauna, every waking moment of the day.

Like, Jackie’s been inviting Shauna over to her house for dinner after every soccer practice for the
last week— much to Mrs. Taylor’s chagrin. She’s also suddenly so interested in having Shauna
tutor her in English— which is ironic, because Shauna’s been offering to help Jackie improve her
writing skills for years. However, Shauna swears that the most shocking change in Jackie’s
behavior is the lighter-haired girl’s sudden attraction to the music Shauna’s listening to. All of a
sudden, Jackie’s enthusiastically bobbing her head along to Nirvana— to Liz Phair, to The
Smashing Pumpkins, to fucking Alice in Chains (for god’s sake)— instead of swapping the cassette
in Shauna’s boombox to one of her irritatingly upbeat pop cassettes.

Plus, Shauna swears she hasn’t heard Jackie utter a single word about Jeff in weeks, even though
Jackie usually loves to divulge every single minor detail about their relationship and its problems to
Shauna. So, although Jackie’s sudden behavioral changes are to Shauna’s benefit, she still finds
Jackie’s sudden disinterest in Jeff so… odd. Usually, Jackie attends all of Jeff’s baseball games—
sitting in the crummy bleachers every Saturday afternoon, even when he’s sitting his ass on the
bench. But, suddenly, Jackie’s more than willing to forego supporting her boyfriend’s athletic
endeavors— if it means she can go shopping at the Monmouth Mall with Shauna, or go get ice
cream with Shauna, or just sit and do nothing in Shauna’s car… with Shauna.

Therefore, Shauna’s really not all that shocked when she finally registers that Jackie has barely
even looked in Jeff’s general direction all night. It’s weird— especially since he was the one who
drove them to this party— but maybe Shauna’s just overthinking it. Maybe this is Jackie’s new
normal, and that was perfectly fine with Shauna. She was fine with not having to discreetly
compete with Jeff, for Jackie’s attention. She was fine with Jackie basically hardcore friend-zoning
her, as long as it meant that they were still, actually best friends. She was fine with the kiss getting
written off as an alcohol-induced mistake, and was content with just… suffering through the
emotional consequences of it in private.

So, when Shauna spots Jackie stumbling out of Mari’s kitchen with two new bottles of Budlight in
her hands, she decides to stop trying to play the role of the crooked psychologist. She decides that
whatever’s going on with Jackie and Jeff is their problem to deal with, not hers. As a result, when
Jackie plops right down into Shauna’s lap not even a second later, Shauna doesn’t even bother
attempting to ask Jackie where Jeff currently is. She doesn’t even bother attempting to ask Jackie
why she’d rather be sitting here, in Shauna’s lap, rather than in her beloved boyfriend’s. Instead,
she just tosses her empty onto the floor, before snatching one of the beers from Jackie’s grasp and
popping open its cap. She should slow down— her tolerance really is shit, a fact Jackie knows all
too well— but she’s feeling amazing tonight. Shauna feels on top of the world— has felt on top of
the world for weeks— and she knows it’s because of the way she’s been able to just bask in
Jackie’s attention.

Besides, considering how cuddly Jackie is right now, Shauna knows that Jackie must be on the
same level as her, in terms of drunkenness. She’s sitting on Shauna’s lap like Shauna’s the mall
Santa Claus they used to visit when they were kids, and she’s running her fingers through Shauna’s
dark locks absent-mindedly. Shauna instinctively wraps an arm around Jackie’s waist, because she
loves when Jackie gets like this— all giggly, cute, and innocent. This is the drunk Jackie that
Shauna loves so much— the one that’s all carefree, cheery, and cuddly— not the kind of bitchy,
reckless, and shit-starting one she had the (dis)pleasure of encountering at Lottie’s.

“I’m so glad I convinced you to come tonight, Shipman,” Jackie drunkenly admits, slurring on all
of her words. She basically confirms all of Shauna’s previous suspicions, because Shauna can tell
— by the raspiness of her voice, by the way she’s stumbling over her words— that Jackie must be
as drunk as she is right now. “You’re like… my favorite person in the world. And I promise you, I
am not just saying that because I’m—” she trails off, twisting around and staring intensely into
Shauna’s eyes. And God, if Shauna already can’t breathe from the power of Jackie’s gaze alone,
the way Jackie suddenly leans in closer must suck all the air right out of her lungs. The arm Shauna
has slung around Jackie’s waist tightens its hold as Jackie leans in— so close that Jackie’s basically
whispering right into Shauna’s ear. “I’m not just saying that because I’m drunk. I mean it…
Shauna. I swear I always mean it, even when I’m drunk.”

It was like somebody had dumped the gigantic bucket of ice water that Misty fucking Quigley
brought to their soccer practices over her head. Shauna feels a shiver wrack through her entire body
— one that only manages to sting even more intensely— when Jackie pulls away and stares down
at Shauna with twinkling eyes and a blindingly white, toothy smile.

Suddenly, Shauna cannot physically handle being this close to Jackie, like this. It’s almost like
Jackie’s suffocating her— like Jackie’s got her in a chokehold and just, won’t stop squeezing— just
by being this close. Maybe it’s the enticingly intoxicating scent of Jackie’s strawberry-flavored
chapstick that renders Shauna physically unable to breathe. Or maybe it’s the faint traces of vanilla,
from Jackie’s favorite shampoo, that tickle Shauna’s nostrils and leave her gasping for brief waves
of air. Whatever the case may be, Shauna decides to not even bother attempting to solve it. She
knows better than this— she’s so much smarter than this.

And then, Shauna’s unceremoniously shoving Jackie’s thin frame right out of her lap. She
inadvertently shoves Jackie down onto her back, allowing her to flop onto the empty expanse of
floral fabric next to where Shauna is sitting. Her light-brown hair splays all around her on the
sunken-down cushions— almost like a halo— and Shauna’s breath constricts even more.

So, Shauna quickly pulls herself upright, so quick that it barely even registers in her mind that she’s
standing up— almost like she’s running on auto-pilot. She fights the urge to look at Jackie again
desperately— like, she really fucking does. Shauna tries to keep her brown eyes trained on her
beat-up Converse, but of course, she fucking can’t. So, Shauna’s not all that shocked when her eyes
gravitate upwards— to meet Jackie’s gaze, head-on.

Jackie looks shocked— almost downright offended— with her lips all puckered up and her
eyebrows knitted tightly together. “Shauna, what the fuck?” she admonishes, scrambling to sit
upright on the couch. “Are you mad at me, or something?” Jackie questions, tone verging on
incredulous— almost like she can’t believe Shauna would do something like this. Almost like
Jackie can’t believe Shauna would purposely push her away, purposely reject her.

“No— no. Of course not, Jax,” Shauna manages to stutter out, through the newly hardened stone
wedged painfully into her esophagus. “I um—” she adds, scrambling to place her Budlight bottle
on a neighboring end-table. Jackie continues to stare Shauna down— adding a little eyebrow raise
to the mix— and Shauna feels the heat of it in seconds. “I— I,” she stutters, watching as Jackie
smirks over her sudden ineloquence. “I— I have to… bathroom.”

Before Shauna can make her grand escape to Mari’s beach-themed bathroom, Jackie’s got a bony
hand wrapped around Shauna’s wrist. She uses it for support as she pulls her lethargic, drunken
frame off of the couch, then immediately loosens her grip around it— allowing Shauna’s arm to
fall limply at her side. Shauna doesn’t say anything— honestly couldn’t say anything, even if she
wanted to— as Jackie extends out a hand and tucks a few wayward strands of Shauna’s hair behind
her ear.

“I’ll come with you,” Jackie firmly states, before abruptly wringing her hand out of Shauna’s dark
locks— almost like they’ve suddenly scorched her. Shauna tries to open her mouth to speak— tries
to tell Jackie that she’s going to the bathroom just to escape her tempting presence— but then
Jackie’s shoving her hand into Shauna’s. “C’mon, I gotta fix my makeup, anyways,” she drunkenly
murmurs, tugging Shauna along with her as she makes a beeline for the bathroom.

Of course, Shauna knows she’s overthinking this whole situation, yet again. She can feel her blood
pressure rising— can legitimately feel the alcohol coursing through her veins— as Jackie leads her
through the sea of drunken teenagers, and toward the bathroom. Shauna’s terrified of the prospect
of this; she’s petrified of being drunk, and then shoved into another small bathroom with Jackie.
But then Shauna reminds herself that Jackie would never, ever, make that mistake again.
Especially not after the visceral reaction she had over merely saying the word, gay.

So, Shauna lets Jackie shove her through Mari’s white, bathroom door. She also allows Jackie to
flip the door’s lock on, without much of an afterthought. It’s like, for the first time all night,
Shauna has successfully managed to shut her fucking brain off. Has finally managed to just… stop
overthinking things. Fucking finally.
Unfortunately for Shauna’s resolve, her brain doesn’t remain shut off for very long. Like, Shauna
knows she shouldn’t be thinking about the shit that went down at Lottie’s— she knows it’s really,
really wrong to. She knows she should just try to forget about it, should just accept Jackie’s bullshit
excuse that they were both really drunk, if not for Jackie’s sake but for her own sake. But she
physically cannot stop thinking about it sober, and she definitely cannot stop thinking about it now
— while they’re both frat-bro level drunk, in this stupid cramped bathroom.

It’s like freeze-frame images of Jackie— with her hands on Shauna’s jaw, with her tongue shoved
down Shauna’s throat, with her fingers tugging roughly at Shauna’s hair— are just playing on a
never-ending loop in Shauna’s brain.

And Shauna swears Jackie must be able to see right through her— must be able to read all of the
sick thoughts swirling through Shauna’s filthy mind— because she’s suddenly turning to face
Shauna with a sly smirk on her face. Jackie rakes her eyes over Shauna’s entire body, from her
head to her Converse-covered toes, and Shauna freezes where she’s standing. She doesn’t flinch,
doesn’t speak, doesn’t even breathe— it’s like Jackie’s gaze has her stuck.

“Want some, Shipman,” Jackie slurs, waving her mascara wand around— right in front of Shauna’s
glazed-over, brown eyes. Shauna absently shakes her head to the side— and it’s so swift, so
nonchalant— that Jackie must not notice her non-verbal rejection. “Here, let me do it for you,” she
quickly supplies, shuffling closer to Shauna and reaching her free hand upward— in an attempt to
cup Shauna’s jaw.

But, Shauna knows better— knows, from previous experience, that it’s not a good idea (or within
her best interest) to allow a drunk Jackie Taylor to put her hands on her face. Shauna won’t allow
herself to fall for this again, because she knows damn well that if she ever gets to taste Jackie’s lips
again— especially when she’s this level of drunk and feeling all loose-lipped— she might say
something she regrets. Something she can’t take back, unlike the kiss at Lottie’s, which Jackie was
easily able to take back.

Shauna’s smart, she knows herself well enough. She knows she’ll say something that she won’t be
able to easily write off as some stupid, ridiculous thing that alcohol coaxed her into admitting.
Shauna’s not like Jackie: she lacks the failproof charisma, she isn’t able to talk her way out of
things, and she’s not confident enough to escape awkward situations completely unscathed. Unlike
Jackie, Shauna is always the one that ends up leaving their verbal squalls, dramatic onslaughts, or
physical altercations looking like a complete fool. She is always left ruminating over her mistakes,
while Jackie powers through and moves swiftly past them in record time. So, Shauna decides to
take a page out of the Yellowjackets’ team captain’s playbook; Shauna decides to play nice,
decides not to let Jackie inadvertently make a fool out of her again, too.

“I’m fine,” Shauna mutters, before sloppily shoving Jackie’s hand away— right before she can
grab the edge of Shauna’s jaw. Unsurprisingly, Jackie looks downright offended by Shauna’s
rejection, so Shauna quickly tries to cover her tracks. All Shauna really wants to do is keep the
peace— make the way things have been between them for the last couple of weeks permanent.
“Thanks, but I just… I’m not a big makeup person.”

Suddenly, Jackie’s gazing at Shauna in a way that’s eerily similar to how Jackie looked at all the
priceless pieces of art at the Metropolitan Museum— when they visited together, over the summer.
Her eyes are all twinkly— kind of glassy, but still intense— and Shauna unexpectedly feels like she
is a house being appraised by a realtor. The next words that fly out of Jackie’s loose lips only
strengthen this sentiment, too.

“You don’t need it anyway,” Jackie firmly states, before shoving the wand into the back pocket of
her jeans. “You already have really pretty, long eyelashes. Natural beauty,” she mumbles, as a cute
drunken smile plays at the corners of her lips.

“Thanks, Jax,” Shauna manages to spit out, although it takes nearly all of her drunken brainpower
to do so. The compliment worms its way right into Shauna’s chest, and the darker-haired girl
swears she can feel those words clench around her heart and squeeze it, like a hardened fist.

“So, so pretty,” Jackie fiercely adds, before reaching one of her hands out— right towards Shauna’s
eye. And, this time, Shauna doesn’t have the willpower to bat Jackie’s hand away. Not with Jackie
this close to her, and especially not with Jackie flattering her and showering her with compliments.
So, she says nothing— does nothing— as Jackie’s fingertips brush lightly against her eyelashes.
“And it’s not just your eyelashes. Everything about you is so beautiful. You’re so, so beautiful,
Shipman,” Jackie declares, as her gaze drifts down to Shauna’s lips, then right back up to Shauna’s
eyes.

It all clicks in Shauna’s brain, right then; the truth finally dawns on her, almost like an epiphany.
Jackie’s been overly nice and clingy with Shauna for the past couple of weeks since the kiss,
because Jackie feels bad for her. She’s been showering Shauna with attention and praises— has
been opting to spend less time with Jeff just to do so— because she pities Shauna. Jackie must
know about her stupid, secret little crush, and she must be trying to let her down gently. Or maybe,
Jackie was purposely fucking with her; maybe she was being extra affectionate, just to coerce
Shauna’s secret out of her.

Well, Shauna wasn’t about to fall for Jackie’s manipulative tactics. She seizes Jackie’s wrist,
pulling it away from her eyelashes. Jackie gapes at her like a deer in headlights— all doe-eyed,
with her mouth parted in a surprised ‘O’ shape. Shauna legitimately wants to slap that clueless look
right off of Jackie’s face, but resists the urge by verbally snapping at her instead.

“I know what you’re doing, alright? So just— just shut the fuck up, Jackie. Stop— stop pity-
complimenting me. Everything about you is better than me— prettier than me— and you fucking
know it. So fucking stop it,” Shauna wails, so loudly, that Jackie instinctively wrings her hand out
of Shauna’s grasp.

Once her hand is freed, Jackie immediately crosses both of her arms over her chest. She scoffs at
Shauna, and narrows her eyes at her— almost like she’s never heard something so ludicrous in her
entire life. “I’m not doing anything, Shauna. It was a fucking compliment. You’re so beautiful and I
don’t get why— why you can’t just believe me when I say it? Why…” she pauses, just to roughly
swallow. Shauna watches as Jackie does so— eyes trained to the column of Jackie’s delicate throat
as it shakily bobs. “Why do you think I always have some sort of ulterior motive for everything I
do? Do you really think I’m this like, fucked up, evil bitch genius?” she asks, and Shauna waves a
hand dismissively into the air. And, apparently, that movement and lack of verbal respondence are
what set Jackie off, because then Jackie’s voice is pitching higher and higher. “Really?” Jackie
questions, shaking her head as she breaks down into sardonic laughter. “Jesus Christ, Shauna.
Learn how to take a compliment.”

Before Shauna can really even register what she’s doing, she’s thrusting her hands up and shoving
Jackie backward— hard. Jackie’s lower back hits the edge of Mari’s bathroom sink, and Shauna
barely even gives her best friend time to wince before she’s all up in Jackie’s face— her eyes lit
with fire, her lips loose, her heart filled with unadulterated rage. “That’s not what this whole thing
has been about, and you know it,” Shauna caustically hisses, as Jackie just stares at her— looking
completely appalled at the mere suggestion that she’s been anything but completely genuine. “Oh
come on. Just admit it. Admit why you suddenly give a shit about me, again, after ditching me to
shove your tongue down Jeff’s throat— for years. Admit how dumb and pathetic you think I am,
Jackie. Tell me the real reason why you kissed me, Jackie. I’m not stupid.”

Shauna registers how glassy Jackie’s hazel eyes now look, even as Jackie flings her hands up to
push roughly against Shauna’s chest. It’s clear that this is some desperate attempt to shove Shauna
out of her face, to get out of this situation unscathed. But, considering Jackie’s lack of upper-body
strength and her comically frail frame, it doesn’t work; Shauna stumbles back, maybe an inch—
and then she’s immediately lunging back into Jackie’s face. And then she’s… she’s—

She swears her entire body is running on auto-pilot as she roughly clutches a fistful of Jackie’s
light-brown locks and practically shoves their lips together. And fuck, if Jackie wants to get mad at
her tomorrow, then fine. This is all her fucking fault, anyway. Jackie shouldn’t have kissed Shauna
the first time, at Lottie’s. Jackie shouldn’t have spewed all of those bullshit compliments to
Shauna, in an attempt to fulfill her own hidden agenda. So, it’s Jackie who is to blame for this
bullshit, because Shauna was doing so well at controlling herself— until Jackie had decided to
fucking provoke her.

So, Shauna yanks down even more harshly on a few strands of Jackie’s wavy hair, and then grasps
Jackie’s waist roughly with her other one. Her lips move against Jackie’s at a brutish, frantic pace
because she knows from previous experience that Jackie can— and definitely will— shove her
away at any given moment.

And of course, Shauna’s right— just like she always is, about all things Jackie Taylor. Less than
two seconds after that initial thought, Jackie is slithering her hands between their close-knit bodies
and shoving Shauna back hard. It’s fairly similar to the one before, from when they were arguing,
and Jackie was weakly attempting to get the fuck away from her. However, unlike Jackie’s
previously weak shove, this one sends Shauna tumbling backward and downward.

Shauna vaguely registers the dull pain that shoots through her ass once she lands down hard, on
top of the closed toilet lid. Before she can really register the ache— can allow herself to worry
about how much of a massive, purple bruise this will leave on her backside— Jackie’s shuffling
towards her. And then Shauna’s focus is entirely on Jackie again, almost like the physical pain is
nothing compared to the emotional pain she knows Jackie is about to wreak upon her. So, Shauna
waits with bated breath for some kind of bitchy insult, or a self-righteous laugh, or— even worse
than all the other possible scenarios rushing through Shauna’s mind— a slap across the face.

Shockingly enough, Jackie does none of those horrific things to Shauna. Instead, Jackie does
something that Shauna honestly considers even more outrageous. She climbs into Shauna’s lap—
kind of similar to how she climbed on top of Shauna, on Mari’s couch, only an hour earlier—
except this time, she’s straddling Shauna’s waist. Then Jackie’s gazing hotly down at her— eyes
dark, lips curled into a smirk— right before weaving a hand into Shauna’s hair and yanking so
hard on it that their lips connect.

And then it's just like the first time; all feverish and wild. Shauna bites down on Jackie’s lower lip,
eliciting a strangled groan to escape from the back of the lighter-haired girl’s throat. Then Jackie’s
yanking on Shauna’s hair rougher, and she’s slipping her tongue right into Shauna’s mouth. As
their tongues duel for dominance, Shauna lets her hands wander across Jackie’s entire body.
Eventually, she settles them onto Jackie’s lower back— where Jackie’s shirt has ridden up a bit—
just so that she can run her fingertips along the expanse of bare, tanned skin there.

But then Jackie’s rolling her hips down hard against Shauna’s, in a way that makes them both
gasp. In a way that has Shauna scrambling to grab ahold of Jackie's hips, just so that she can guide
Jackie into doing that again. Once she manages to get a near-bruising grip on Jackie’s hips, Shauna
guides Jackie into another rough grind against her lap. Jackie lets out this high-pitched, needy little
moan into Shauna’s mouth— and it snaps Shauna right back into reality.

Shauna makes to pull away, and then Jackie’s grip on her hair is tightening— like she won’t let her
get away, or like she doesn’t want her to get away. Whichever the case may be, Shauna knows this
isn’t going to end well— for either of them, honestly— and removes one of her hands from Jackie’s
hip. She sticks her free hand out and pushes roughly against Jackie’s chest, separating their lips
with a near-deafening wet sound.

“Jax… Jackie,” Shauna gasps, letting the hand on Jackie’s chest slip down— so it's resting on
Jackie’s thigh. With Shauna’s singular defensive measure down for the count, Jackie leans right
back in— eyes shut and lips puckered up— fully prepared to reconnect their lips. Shauna sees it
coming and cranes her neck back, successfully evading kissing range. Unfortunately for Shauna,
this little maneuver just seems to get her into more trouble— exposing her neck to Jackie’s brutal
lips. “We can’t— why do we keep doing this? What about Jeff? What about what you said—” she
breaks off into a whimper, as Jackie nips at the pale, delicate skin on her neck. “Fuck— Jackie,
just… stop. Please— just— just stop fucking with me,” Shauna pleads, as Jackie places a light kiss
on the area she just grazed with her teeth.

Finally, for the first time in what feels like ages, Jackie listens to Shauna. She pulls back, staring
down intensely at Shauna, with slightly parted lips and a flushed face. “For once in your life,
Shipman,” Jackie murmurs, leaning back in— until their lips are just mere inches apart again, and
their noses are nudging together. “Stop fucking overthinking everything,” she whispers against
Shauna’s mouth, and then Jackie’s kissing her again.

And, well. Shauna’s resolve is now shot to hell— all inhibitions tossed out of Mari’s bathroom
window in the blink of an eye— as a result of Jackie’s words. She’s been trying desperately not to
overthink everything all fucking night, has legitimately spent half this party attempting to shut her
brain off. It’s honestly funny— that, after all of Shauna’s previous, solo efforts— all it takes is
Jackie's command for her to finally accomplish the goal she’s been chasing all night long.

So, Shauna’s hands slip down to Jackie’s ass of their own accord, gripping hard onto it as she
guides Jackie into a rough grind against her. Jackie’s kissing her brutishly again— all frenzied and
desperate— with her hands fisting into Shauna’s dark brown hair. It’s like she can’t get enough,
like she can’t get close enough to Shauna, and Shauna swears she understands the feeling. She
wants this to go on forever; Shauna just wants to be able to kiss Jackie like this, to have Jackie like
this, forever.

But, Shauna knows better than anyone that all good things must come to an end. And, of course,
it’s all her fault that it reaches a finale when it does. Shauna swears it's the alcohol that makes her
do it— or that, maybe, it's just the feeling of Jackie rutting desperately against her. It could just be
the smell of Jackie’s hair— or maybe all of the desperate little noises she’s making— but, who
really knows.

Deep down, Shauna knows these factors aren’t to blame for the words she allows to slip from her
mouth. Maybe they help expedite the process, but they’re not the sole cause. She’s drunk from the
alcohol, she’s drunk with lust; but she loves Jackie when she’s not under the influence of either,
too. So, before Shauna can even identify what exactly it is that she’s saying, the words are spewing
out of her mouth like rapid machine-gun fire. Once they’re out in the open, she knows that she can’t
take them back; not now, not ever.

“I love you, Jackie,” Shauna manages to pant out, between kisses. “I love you, so fucking much.”

Everything turns cold then; Shauna swears she hasn’t felt this freezing since her junior year, when
the entire team decided to do the annual Polar Plunge in Seaside Heights. Jackie’s lips stop
pressing against hers— and they just lay still, on Shauna’s, for a moment. But then— before
Shauna can even say a silent prayer that maybe, just maybe, Jackie won’t let her little admission
ruin whatever this is— she’s pulling away from Shauna. Jackie doesn’t say a single word— just
blinks down at Shauna, with comically wide eyes and her jaw hanging open.

“Jack— Jackie,” Shauna manages to stutter out, even though the sticky feeling that has arisen in
both her throat and stomach makes it a near-impossible task. “I didn’t— I didn’t mean… well I
um—”

“We should probably get going,” Jackie stoically states— her usually warm and cheery voice
coming out uncharacteristically cold— sending another wave of shivers down Shauna’s spine.
Shauna’s so cold she swears she might get hypothermia, a potential threat that she swears only
exacerbates once Jackie clambers right out of her lap. Not only is the warmth in Jackie’s voice
gone, but now her body warmth is too, leaving Shauna to hyper-fixate on the cold seeping through
her clothes— from the frigid, porcelain toilet she’s practically glued to. “Jeff’s got practice
tomorrow. Early.”

Shauna opens her mouth to speak— is fully prepared to beg and plead with Jackie to just let her
explain herself— but Jackie’s already slamming the bathroom door shut behind her with a loud
thud. Thus, for the second time in less than a month, Shauna is left by Jackie— in one of her
teammate’s bathrooms— drunk and dazed. Drunk, dazed, and heartbroken— if she’s being
completely honest with herself. She was dumb for saying it— so incredibly stupid, for admitting
something so earth-shattering. So friendship-shattering.

As Shauna pulls herself off of that toilet seat— struggling to support the weight of her own,
shaking body— she lets her mind ruminate over that last thought. Shauna had Jackie where she
wanted her, and then had blown it, all by herself. Now, she would get to sit in the car with Jackie
and Jackie’s boyfriend— who she did probably say I love you, back to— for the next half hour,
pretending like her best friend didn’t shatter her heart into two. Pretending like she herself didn’t
just implode their friendship, with her own stupidity. But, whatever. Maybe she could hit Jackie
with the UNO reverse card; she could lie through her teeth, could tell Jackie that the love
admission and this hookup were just like the kiss as Lottie’s— they were just alcohol-induced
mistakes. Shauna wasn’t sure if Jackie would buy it, but, might as well try. Desperate times did
call for desperate measures, didn’t they?

But, Shauna will admit— she’s really starting to hate how good she’s gotten at pretending. She’s
also really starting to hate how comfortable she’s gotten with lying— particularly to Jackie and
herself— too.

Shauna tugs roughly at Jeff’s dirty blonde hair as she kisses him, pretending she’s weaving her
hands back into Jackie’s light brown waves. She desperately ruts against him as she allows images
of Jackie— from earlier on in the night— to replay on an endless loop in her mind. Some of her
current favorites include: Jackie climbing into her lap, Jackie looking down at her with parted lips
and a flushed face, and Jackie whispering against her mouth. But, Shauna won’t lie. Her absolute
favorite image is the one of Jackie grinding harshly against her— with Shauna’s own hands on her
ass. That one keeps trying to creep into the forefront of her mind, but Shauna keeps fighting against
it. Even though she knows what she’s doing is already wrong, the idea of getting off to images of
Jackie grinding on her while she grinds on Jeff is just… way too much-added weight on her
already crumbling conscience.

And, yeah. It’s kind of ironic that Shauna’s so willing to let those images spiral in her mind now,
especially since she tried so hard to dispel them from her mind earlier. But, that was when she was
trying to behave herself around Jackie; that was when she was trying not to give in to temptation.
Of course, Shauna ultimately did, and now she was paying the price for it. Now, she needs those
images to relieve the ache that Jackie has caused— the emotional one, and the one between her
legs. Now, she needs those images to help her get off, because God knows Jeff won’t be able to do
it on his own.

She knows she’s a terrible person for doing this, but Shauna can’t help it anymore. Shauna knows
it's wrong to fuck her best friend’s boyfriend, knows it's wrong to steal his virginity from him while
also handing him hers. And then there’s the even more fucked-up, additional element of her
thinking about her aforementioned best friend, while her best friend’s boyfriend is clumsily trying
(and failing) to get her off. It’s warped, it’s so fucking twisted. She honestly hates herself for this,
but after tonight, Shauna’s decided that she can’t take it anymore. Shauna knows, deep down, that
this is the closest she's ever going to get to being with Jackie— like this. Jeff's the closest thing to
Jackie, besides Shauna herself, and she thinks that's why she's doing this with him. Because if she
can't have Jackie, she might as well have the second closest thing to her.

Plus, Jackie left her in that bathroom— high and dry— with no “I love you” back. Jackie left
Shauna in Jeff’s car— by herself— after convincing Jeff that she desperately needed to make
curfew and had to get dropped off first. And, deep down, Shauna knows that Jackie might not ever
speak to her again after the shit that occurred earlier. So, if she sleeps with Jeff, who the fuck
cares? It’s not like Jackie isn’t already probably planning to sever the ten-year-long friendship rope
she’s had wrapped around Shauna’s neck— that’s suddenly beginning to feel noose-like—
anyways. Shauna’s legitimately given Jackie about a hundred reasons to cut her off, at this point.
Like, in the off chance that Jackie doesn’t cut her off after the love admission and their most recent
bathroom incident, she sure as hell would do it after hearing about Brown and about what she’s
doing with her boyfriend.

“Jesus, Shauna,” Jeff groans, stealing Shauna’s attention back. She instinctively rolls her hips
harder down and leans in, kissing him as deeply as she can muster. Shauna’s careful, almost calm,
with Jeff. It’s nothing like it is with Jackie— was with Jackie. Hooking up with Jackie drove her
insane— made her spin out of control, made her reckless. But with Jeff, it feels like she’s just
running through the motions. She’s doing exactly what she did with Jackie, but it doesn’t feel
anywhere near as good— doesn’t feel right.

In an especially rough grind, Shauna feels Jeff’s erection rub against her— through the fabric of her
panties and his boxers. He seems more than ready— almost giddy, if she’s being honest— so
Shauna decides to just get this over with. And, honestly, if this entire situation wasn’t so fucked up,
Shauna would probably laugh over her own stupidity. Like, half the reason she decided to do this
was just so she could see what made Jeff so appealing to Jackie. Shauna wanted to know what Jeff
had that she didn’t— wanted to know how good Jeff was with his hands, with his mouth, with his
tongue.

Now that she’s got him, Shauna really doesn’t understand the hype, at all. He’s not a good kisser—
a slobberer, at most. He’s not clever with his hands— doesn’t know how to guide her hips into a
steady, smooth rhythm. He doesn't really know how to use his tongue— just like, sticks it in way
too far. And like, Shauna knows Jackie and Jeff have never actually fucked— like, fully fucked—
so it's not like it's Jeff's dick that keeps Jackie on the hook. So, Shauna assumes that maybe Jeff’s
good with his fingers, and that’s what keeps Jackie coming back for more. It’s not like he’s giving
her any of that action right now, so Shauna decides that it has to be that. Otherwise, there would be
no reasonable explanation as to why Jackie continues to stay with him. Because honestly, Shauna
doesn’t want to sound cocky, but Shauna knows she’s better than Jeff in the kissing and grinding
departments.
It’s whatever, though. Jeff could honestly be a blow-up sex doll at this point, that’s how fucking
desperate she is to relieve this ache coursing through her body. So, she sits up a little higher on her
knees, and pulls her panties to the side. Jeff smiles boyishly at her as he follows suit— hastily
sliding off his checkered boxers. Somehow, Jeff’s giddiness and quickness to agree to this make
Shauna even more aggravated. Like, how could he do this to Jackie? Sure, Shauna knows Jackie’s
been a prude— has been denying him sex since their freshman year of high school. But, still. Jackie
seems to think he loves her— seems to think that they’re a match made in Heaven— and that
they’re destined to be high school sweethearts. A sick part of Shauna wishes that Jackie could see
her beloved boyfriend now; just to prove to Jackie that Jeff’s not all that. But— then again— if
Jackie were to ever see or even hear about this, she would hate Shauna too.

“Shauna, are you sure?” Jeff breathily murmurs, cutting into Shauna’s daze. Right, the task at
hand.

“Yeah just,” she whispers, pulling her lips an inch away from his. She rises a bit more in his lap,
before wrapping a hand around his length. He groans, deep in his throat, and Shauna is instantly
reminded of all the sounds Jackie makes— made. “Just…” Shauna mutters, before lowering herself
onto his length, with a wince. “Don’t fucking talk,” Shauna commands, holding back tears. She
knows it’ll be so much easier to pretend it's Jackie if Jeff just keeps his fucking mouth shut— and
God, Shauna just needs him to stay silent.

“Ok, but—” he manages to stutter out, right before Shauna’s covering his mouth with one of her
hands. And then she shuts him up even further, reduces his vocabulary down to just moans and
broken curses, by immediately bouncing up and down in his lap. She closes her eyes and fights
against the tears attempting to spring from them, prompted by the pain of losing her virginity. It
stings so bad— hurts so bad. But, she deserves it and she knows she deserves it.

And then one of Jeff’s callused hands is running through her dark locks, and she’s imagining that
it’s one of Jackie’s daintier hands. Then he’s pressing his chapped lips against hers, and she’s
imagining that she’s kissing Jackie’s smooth, strawberry-chapstick-flavored lips. After that, he’s
grabbing roughly at her hips— sloppily thrusting upwards— and Shauna’s imagining how she
clutched Jackie’s ass. He’s letting out moan after moan, and Shauna’s thinking about all the noises
Jackie made.

Then, while Shauna’s thinking about all of the noises Jackie made, she thinks about the words
Jackie couldn’t say. The unanswered “I love you," that Jackie left hanging in the air of Mari’s
bathroom like the kites they used to fly as kids. And, fuck. She needs to hear it, really bad, so she
uncovers Jeff’s mouth. Shauna kisses him rough— believes that this might persuade him to do
what she needs him to do— and then pulls her lips off of his mouth to lean them into his ear. “Tell
me you love me, Jeff… I don’t care if you mean it. Just say it— please,” she pleads, whispering
right into the shell of his ear. She barely even recognizes her own voice at this point— that’s how
desperate and downright pathetic she sounds.

“I love you, Shauna,” Jeff roughly states, without much of an afterthought. It’s like the words were
already on the tip of his tongue— like he’s been waiting to say them— and now they’ve just shot
out of his mouth automatically.

God, why couldn’t Jackie be more like Jeff? Why couldn’t she just say it back? Shauna wishes she
didn't crave those words from Jackie, so much. Shauna wishes she didn't mean them towards
Jackie, too. Maybe if she didn't love Jackie, this whole situation wouldn't be so astronomically
complicated. Maybe they could just be two friends that make out at parties for fun, when they're
drunk. But, it would never be like that for Shauna, because it meant something to Shauna. Maybe
not to Jackie, but definitely to Shauna.
Chapter End Notes

i swear next chapter they'll love each other and be cute

coming next chap: shauna feels bad about fucking jeff (surprising!!). and jackie kinda
admits to "maybe???" being gay (yay!!), and they finally begin a real fwb endeavor.
 mono girl
Chapter Summary

“Ok, but that’s like… that’s the thing,” Jackie hesitantly announces, reeling Shauna
right back in again. Shauna stares at Jackie— her eyes rapt with full, unadulterated
attention— as she waits for whatever her best friend is about to say next. And the
subsequent words that come out Jackie’s mouth… well. “I don’t like… want to stop,”
Jackie sheepishly admits, sucking her lower lip between her teeth. “And I— I don’t
think it’s only when I’m drunk that I want to… that I want to kiss you, either.”

Or: Jackie visits Shauna while she's sick with Mono— bringing Shauna's missed
schoolwork and an interesting proposition with her.

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

April 15th, 1996

Ever since she was a little kid, Shauna’s never really been a firm believer in Karma; hell, if
anything, she’s been the concept’s harshest critic. It just, never made sense to her— the idea that
the universe would automatically punish those who were bad, and reward those who were
good. Being the deep thinker that she was, Shauna always felt like it was all just a load of bullshit.
Always felt like Karma was just some overly-ambitious coping mechanism created by a group of
hopeless, wishful thinkers that yearned for universal fairness. A group of hopeless, wishful
thinkers that wanted good people to succeed— and bad people to suffer.

But, as Shauna lays in her twin-sized bed— hacking up a lung, surrounded by used tissues, and
feeling so feverish that it’s almost like someone’s doused her with kerosene and tossed a match at
her— she suddenly finds herself willingly subscribing to the whole concept of Karma.

She’s felt like shit— like, both emotionally and physically— ever since the Jeff thing. Initially,
Shauna thought that the dull aches coursing through her body— that had legitimately begun the
morning right after she let Jeff have his way with her— were just physical manifestations of the
guilt she felt. She also thought that her immense guilt over the Jeff thing— combined with the
massive feeling of dread and stress she felt over her stupid, drunken love declaration— was to
blame for her sudden loss of appetite and desire to sleep the entire weekend away.

Having convinced her mother that it was probably just some stupid cold and that it would go away
on its own, Shauna then skipped two days of school without much fanfare. And honestly, Shauna
genuinely did expect Jackie to at least attempt to reach out, even though she really did not know
where she and Jackie currently stood. She expected Jackie to come over and check up on her— or
call her, or bring over her missed work, or bring her soup— or just, do something to make sure that
Shauna was still alive. Shauna would’ve accepted any gesture— something, literally anything—
because it would allow Shauna to believe that Jackie still cared about her, at least a little bit. But as
soon as day three of skipping school hit— bringing with it absolutely zero attempted
communication from Jackie and a worsening, sky-high fever— Shauna painfully conceded to her
mother, agreeing to go see a doctor.
And yeah, here’s where Shauna’s whole switch-up in regards to Karma comes in. After running a
couple of quick tests— throat swabs, nasal swabs, and a cursed blood test— Dr. Klein comes back
into Shauna’s examination room to deliver his earth-shattering diagnosis. Apparently, emotional
turmoil and immense guilt aren’t the only things that Jeff gave her during their virginity trade-off—
he also gave her a nasty case of Mono, too. Jeff couldn’t make her finish— couldn’t give her the
orgasm she needed after the whole bathroom incident— but he could give her the worst illness
she’s ever had in her entire life.

So, yeah. Since sleeping with Jeff and fucking up her friendship with Jackie, Shauna’s spent the
last nine days from hell alternating between sleeping, stewing in her emotions, and feeling like her
entire body might be actively deteriorating. It sucks— but, honestly? Shauna feels like she deserves
it, especially after all of the fucked-up shit she’s done. She reasons that— maybe, just maybe—
those firm Karma believers are onto something with their whole cause-and-effect reward system.
Shauna knows that she deserves to suffer for what she’s done, so she’s really not that bitter or
angry about the whole Mono thing.

It feels like a pretty small price to pay after betraying Jackie the way she has— and it’s not like
Shauna hasn’t somehow reaped some benefits from her sickness, either. She’s been able to skip a
bunch of monotonous soccer practices, which has granted her a lot of time to catch up on all the
episodes of The X-Files that she’s missed. Plus, considering the fact that Jackie undoubtedly must
hate her, it’s not really like Shauna’s in any rush to return to school and see her face. Besides, if
Shauna’s being completely honest, the mere idea of seeing Jackie after the whole unreciprocated
love confession has her feeling worse than her case of Mono does.

Rather than ruminating on that final (and heart-wrenching) thought, Shauna decides to take yet
another nap. Her mom won’t be finished with work for another hour, which means Shauna’s got a
completely empty and silent house all to herself for the time being. So, Shauna quickly pops two
more ibuprofens into her mouth, chugs down the glass of water on her end table, and slips back
underneath the thin blanket on her bed. After saying a quick, silent prayer that the little tablets will
dilute the headache— that currently has her feeling like someone’s rammed a bat into the front of
her skull— she allows her eyes to slip closed.

As she drifts off to sleep, Shauna secretly hopes that her dreams will be filled with all things
Jackie— just so that she can relive all of the memories that proved how amazing their friendship
used to be.

The ladder leading up to Shauna’s attic bedroom creaks loudly, waking her up from her nap and
removing her from her most recent dream about Jackie. This one was a really good one— an
earlier memory, from when their friendship was practically brand new and times were easier. It
was a dream about the time Mr. Shipman brought both her and Jackie to the Jenkinson’s
Aquarium, during the summer before third grade. They were both so excited to see the penguins—
and Jackie looked so cute with cotton candy ice cream smeared all over her face— that Shauna
didn’t even feel the need to ask her father why he hadn’t been sleeping at home for almost a week.
She was too distracted by Jackie patting the glass separating them from all of the penguins,
giggling and bouncing around, to ask her dad why he decided to leave their family. Maybe that was
the first sign— the first indicator that Shauna would eventually value Jackie’s affection over her
mom and dad’s affection.

Considering how invested Shauna had become in that dream— and how desperate she was to
reminisce over the past— she tries her best to pretend like she’s still asleep, so her mother will just
leave and she can return to her perfect dream world. So, Shauna quickly turns to lay on her side—
curling up into the fetal position and tucking her hands into the space between her face and the
pillow— before shutting her eyes again. With her back turned away from the ladder, Shauna tries
to focus on steadying her breathing— rather than the pitter-patter of feet inching closer and closer
to her bed. But then, Shauna’s breathing quickens more than it ever has before; suddenly, there is
no reason to return to her dream world, too.

“C’mon, Shipman. No need to fake being asleep. I’m not your mom… and I’ve got none of that
shitty, cherry cough syrup that she loves to shove down your throat with me. I promise.”

“Jackie?” Shauna asks aloud, scrambling to shift onto her back and sit up straighter in her bed.
And, sure enough, there Jackie was— standing at the end of Shauna’s bed, with a backpack slung
over her shoulder. “What are you— I could… could get you sick, Jackie. You shouldn’t be up
here.”

“Ok, well. I had to check up on you. Seven missed days of school? Really?” Jackie mock-chastises,
sliding the backpack off of her shoulders. Shauna just nods in response, roughly swallowing down
the lump in her throat as Jackie continued on. “Next time… please warn me,” she begs, unzipping
the backpack with a smile on her face. “I’ve been sitting with Mari at lunch for the last week, and I
swear I might need a hearing aid now," she laments, sounding all put-upon. "Like, does that girl
ever stop talking?”

“Why didn’t you just sit with Jeff at lunch, then?” Shauna rasps, in between a coughing spell.
Jackie gazes at her sympathetically— all soft eyes with a slight pout— and that has the guilty
feeling rising in the pit of Shauna’s stomach all over again. Does Shauna want to make herself feel
even shittier? Why the fuck would she ask Jackie about Jeff? Well, Jackie seems to have that same
question, because the smile drops from her face and now she’s looking at Shauna all warily.

“He’s really sick too,” Jackie slowly admits, while scrutinizing Shauna’s face. Shauna swears she
can see the gears in Jackie’s head churning— like she’s starting to see the potential connection
between Shauna being sick and Jeff being sick. But, maybe Shauna’s just overreacting, because
then Jackie’s pulling out an array of manila folders from her backpack and smiling at her again.
“So screw you guys for not getting me sick, and leaving me to face the ugly yellow hallways of
Wiskayok all alone,” she teases, lightening the mood and relieving the brief moment of tension.

“If it makes you feel better, I feel like absolute shit,” Shauna mumbles, as Jackie tosses the folders
onto her bed. “I’d actually kill to be sitting in Mr. Fisher’s class, doing trig equations, as long as it
meant that I could get the fuck out of this bed.”

As soon as those words fly from Shauna’s mouth, Jackie is rushing over to Shauna’s side of the
bed. She plops down on the edge of it and immediately leans closer to Shauna, frantically holding a
hand to Shauna’s forehead— similar to how Dr. Klein did, not even a week earlier.

“Sorry, just had to see for myself how bad your fever is. You must be really sick, Shipman…”
Jackie teases, pulling her hand away. “Because, number freaking one: in what world would you
feeling like shit ever make me feel better? If anything, it makes me feel worse. I hate seeing you
like this,” she states, voice laced with so much sincerity that Shauna can feel her cheeks burning up
— and it’s definitely not from the fever, this time. “Number two: that fever must really be screwing
with that big brain of yours, because you are not missing anything fun or fresh in Trig.”

Shauna laughs at that, but then her laughter slowly shifts into a coughing spell, leaving Jackie
grimacing and shifting to pat reassuringly at her back. As soon as the coughing stops, Shauna
attempts to revive their conversation. Shauna doesn’t know why Jackie’s acting like the whole “I
love you” thing didn’t happen, because she knows that there's no way in hell Jackie wouldn’t
remember it. But, if Jackie just wants to move past it, Shauna’s totally ok with that; at least now,
she wouldn’t have to worry about getting burned.
“It’s not that I’m missing Trig, per se,” Shauna murmurs, prompting an eyebrow quirk from Jackie.
“I’m just… so fucking bored. I’ve literally just been sleeping and watching The X-Files all day,
every day. I feel like the grandparents in Willy Wonka.”

Jackie giggles all girlishly at that one, and then resolutely claps her hands against her thighs. “Well,
Shipman,” she announces, standing up. “I’ve got the perfect cure for that, don’t you worry,” Jackie
deviously adds, pacing back over to the stack of manila folders scattered around the bed. Shauna
eyes Jackie curiously, as she collects all of the folders and marches back over to the edge of the bed
— next to Shauna. “Here’s seven days of missing work to keep you entertained,” Jackie teases,
shoving the manila folders into Shauna’s awaiting hands. “Oh, and don’t worry. Fisher threw in a
ton of worksheets for you to do. You’ll probably be solving trig equations till you die.”

Shauna mock-glares at Jackie, before turning her attention to the stack of manila folders in her
hands. She rifles through them, glancing at all the different assignments she’s missed, as Jackie
just… watches her do it. Shauna continues to scan over all the papers, but she does spare a few
covert glances at Jackie every so often. And, Shauna swears that Jackie looks a bit… nervous?
She’s watching Shauna closely, too closely; it’s almost like Shauna’s a predator, and Jackie’s the
prey. But, why would Jackie be nervous? Shauna was the one who royally fucked up— not once,
but twice. Well, Jackie didn’t know about the second fuck up, but still.

“Thanks for bringing all the work I’ve missed,” Shauna says, hoping that it’ll help soothe Jackie’s
mysterious nerves. “Now at least I know how behind— and completely fucked— I really am,” she
adds, tossing the manila folders down onto the empty expanse of black fabric to her right.

Thankfully for Shauna, the words do seem to alleviate whatever is currently stressing Jackie out,
because then Jackie’s treating her with a slightly sheepish, cute little smile. “Yeah, well. No need
to thank me, just remember that I’m basically the best,” Jackie confidently states, spurring a
playful eye-roll from Shauna. But then, in the blink of an eye, Jackie’s entire demeanor shifts. “I
um— I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner,” Jackie mumbles, sounding way less confident than before.
“I just—” she pauses, just to take a deep breath. Shauna sits up in bed a little more, like she
instinctively knows that Jackie’s going to say something incredibly important. “I’ve just been really
busy, lately. With States coming up, I’ve just been like… so focused on all things soccer. Team
chemistry, games, drills, practice… figuring out how to get Nat to come to practice,” she mumbles,
prompting a head nod and smile from Shauna. Then, Jackie’s rambling on even more; it's so
desperate, that it's almost like Jackie needs Shauna to believe that one of these excuses is the sole
reason for the distance she’s been keeping between them. “Plus my mom’s been a real pain in my
ass… and the Rutgers financial aid department has been so unhelpful… and Jeff—”

“Jax,” Shauna firmly states, spurring Jackie to immediately shut her mouth. “It’s ok, seriously. I
get it.”

“So… you swear you’re not mad at me?” Jackie shakily inquires, eyes darting down to look at the
floor. Now, Shauna is more confused than ever. Why the fuck would she be mad at Jackie? Jackie
wasn’t the one who fucked up— wasn’t the one who said “I love you” amidst a meaningless,
drunken hookup with her best friend. No, Shauna did that; Shauna was the one who made
something so inconsequential in Jackie’s world, into this massive thing.

“Why would I be mad at you, Jackie?” she spits out, rubbing vigorously at her temples in
bewilderment. “I— I fucked up. Not you. You have every right to… to keep your distance. To—”
she pauses, just to swallow down a lump in her throat. “To not want to be friends with me,
anymore.”

Jackie stares at her in complete shock, like she’s never heard anything more ludicrous in her entire
life. It’s kind of comical, especially since Shauna can’t help but recognize how this face is eerily
similar to the one Jackie made after Shauna’s love declaration. Then, Jackie’s quickly opening her
mouth— like she’s so confident and so prepared to speak— right before abruptly shutting it closed
again, without uttering a single word.

After stewing in awkward, stale silence for what feels like years to Shauna, Jackie seemingly
figures out what she wants to say. Shauna watches closely as Jackie sucks in a deep, shaky breath,
then slowly releases it. “I haven’t been keeping my distance because I am mad at you, Shauna,”
she softly murmurs, so quietly that Shauna can barely even hear her. “I’ve been keeping my
distance to— to figure my shit out.”

And now, Shauna’s more confused than ever. More pissed than ever. What “shit” does Jackie
Taylor need to figure out? What cute outfit she’s going to wear to school the next day? What to get
Jeff as an anniversary gift? What time to get to the party pre-game, in order to maximize
drunkenness? She’s left Shauna reeling for days— left Shauna thinking that she destroyed their
friendship— to figure her “shit” out. Her “shit,” that Shauna could not figure out for the life of her.

“What ‘shit’ are you even talking about, Jackie?” Shauna scoffs, although she doesn’t mean to
sound like a complete bitch. But, she can’t help it— not when Jackie just, keeps confusing her
more and more with her erratic behavior. “Feel free to clue me in, because I’ve been hanging by a
thread for more than a week. I thought I fucked shit up, Jackie. And now you’re telling me that
you just needed a little ‘break’ to figure your ‘shit’ out? What does that even mean?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Shauna,” Jackie retorts, unceremoniously arising from the bed. “Maybe I
needed to figure out why, as soon as one drop of alcohol enters my system, I feel the need to shove
my tongue down your throat,” she fiercely states, throwing her hands up in the air in mock defeat.
Shauna just gapes at her from the bed, and she swears her mouth is probably hanging so wide open
that she could squish a soccer ball into it. “Maybe that’s what, how about that!”

“What did you um—” Shauna shakily murmurs, watching as Jackie began to rub furiously at her
temples. Almost like she was the one who was debilitatingly ill— like Jackie was the one who had
the resounding headache to end all headaches— instead of Shauna. “Did you… did you figure out
why?”

“I don’t know— I think, um… kind of?” Jackie hastily declares, almost like she’s becoming
increasingly frustrated with herself. “I think I just— just, like,” she stammers, prompting a gesture
to go on from Shauna. The darker-haired girl knew that she really needed to hear this, whether
whatever Jackie said would break her heart or not. So, as Jackie took her fucking time getting to the
point, Shauna’s heart began to beat increasingly faster. “It’s like, fun. And different… kissing you.
I guess.”

“So you kiss me when you’re drunk, because it’s ‘fun?’ Because kissing your best friend is just…
so ‘different’ and not a drunk sorority girl cliche?” Shauna numbly states, trying to hide her
disappointment. “It’s fun to kiss me, ‘you guess?’ That’s it?” she scoffs, watching Jackie shrug at
her words. “That’s the explanation I get?”

“What the fuck do you want from me, Shipman?” Jackie exasperatedly proclaims, face contorting
into a pale shade of red. “That’s the explanation you’re getting, because it’s the truth!" she
declares, voice pitching higher and higher. "We’re not gay, Shauna. You’re not gay. I’m not gay, I
—” she practically screeches, right before pausing to find the right words, again. “Well… I have
Jeff, Shauna.”

Does she? Does she have Jeff? Does Jackie really give a fuck about Jeff, if she’s kissing Shauna
behind his back? Maybe Jackie doesn’t consider it cheating— probably thinks it doesn’t count
because Shauna’s a girl— but, Shauna knows that it still is. If Jackie’s just not feeling it with Jeff
anymore— if Jeff’s kissing skills just aren’t doing it for her, anymore— why the fuck can’t she just
break up with him, instead of fucking with Shauna? Besides, it’s not like Jeff is some perfect Saint,
either. If Jackie were to dump Jeff, Shauna reasons that her best friend wouldn’t have the
obligation to feel bad for him. He’s a cheater too, maybe an even worse one than Jackie is.

So, does Jeff give a fuck about Jackie, honestly? Shauna doesn’t think so, not after how quickly she
was able to persuade him to take his pants off in the front seat of his car. She really doesn’t think
so, especially not after how he let his girlfriend’s best friend ride his dick— probably less than
twenty-five minutes after dropping his aforementioned girlfriend off, at home. But, obviously,
she’s not going to tell Jackie that; Shauna’s never going to tell Jackie that, ever. Unfortunately for
Shauna, that was one of the secrets she would undoubtedly be taking to the grave. A secret she
would be taking to the grave, alongside the big “I love Jackie Taylor, even when I’m sober,”
secret.

“You’re right,” Shauna eventually manages to blurt out, because she knows it’s what Jackie
wants— or maybe even needs— to hear. “It’s all just been… just been drunk fun. It’s not a big
deal,” Shauna murmurs, dropping her gaze to her hands, clenched tightly in her lap. She knows she
can’t let Jackie see the look on her face, because the sheer amount of disappointment riddled across
her pale features would be a dead giveaway. “We can just… just forget about it.”

“Ok, but that’s like… that’s the thing,” Jackie hesitantly announces, reeling Shauna right back in
again. Shauna stares at Jackie— her eyes rapt with full, unadulterated attention— as she waits for
whatever her best friend is about to say next. And the subsequent words that come out Jackie’s
mouth… well. “I don’t like… want to stop,” Jackie sheepishly admits, sucking her lower lip
between her teeth. “And I— I don’t think it’s only when I’m drunk that I want to… that I want to
kiss you, either.”

“I— you— you… you what?” Shauna sputters out, earning a sly grin from Jackie. She’s honestly
shocked she can even formulate a sentence right now, especially with how her brain currently feels
like it has been melted down into goo. Not to mention, the sudden feeling of butterflies in her
stomach didn’t really help her case all that much, either; it was like their wings were clattering
haphazardly against the inside of her ribcage, begging to get out. And then, this searing ache shot
right through her chest, pushing the darker-haired girl to let out a few labored breaths. “Jax, what—
what are you trying to say,” she shakily adds, while trying to compute the gravity of Jackie’s words
in her mind. There was no way Shauna had misheard her, was there?

“Well, we already like… hang out a lot,” Jackie murmurs, before finally sitting back down on the
edge of the bed. “It would just be like, another thing we do. On top of like… all the stuff we
normally do.”

“And you think that’s a good idea?” Shauna breathlessly asks, because she knows it's not. Shauna
knows that this will end up burning her; but, she also knows if Jackie’s serious, there’s no way she
can say no to this. It didn’t matter if Jackie didn’t love her back. It didn’t matter if she felt guilty
over the Jeff thing. There was absolutely no way she could say no to this— to getting to kiss
Jackie, all the time. Like, how could she ever say no to getting to kiss Jackie Taylor, sober?

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?” Jackie questions, raising an eyebrow. Shauna doesn’t answer—
knows that if she does, she’ll find a way to ruin this. Jackie seems to misread her silence as
disinterest, because then she’s scrunching up her eyebrows and picking at her fingernails— two
clear indications of a Jackie Taylor in distress. “Do you… do you not want to? Am I like— is it
because I’m like, a bad kisser, or something?”
“No— no, Jackie you’re… you’re not a bad kisser. Trust me,” Shauna quickly supplies, prompting
a smirk to materialize on Jackie’s face. “And um… you’re right. It’s just like… hanging out. Just
an added element.”

“So, is that a yes, Shipman?” Jackie giddily asks, shifting higher up the edge of the bed— so she’s
practically looming over Shauna. “Because that sounds like a yes to me,” she adds, quirking an
eyebrow.

Shauna bites her lip and nods, figures she can’t formulate a sentence if she even tried to at this
point. She really can’t believe this is happening, at all. Like, less than two hours ago, Shauna was
convinced that Jackie would never want to speak to her again. She’s been convinced for more than
a week that she destroyed their friendship— and now, here Jackie was, asking her to basically be
the other woman in Jackie’s relationship with Jeff. Honestly, maybe she just needed to pinch
herself; Shauna was definitely still dreaming, she had to be.

But then, Jackie reaches out and playfully pinches the skin of her arm between her pink-painted
fingernails, and it stings so much that Shauna knows this can’t all just be a dream. This isn’t just
wishful thinking— somehow, someway, this is Shauna’s reality.

“Don’t tell me you’re so sick that you’re zonin’ out on me, Shipman,” Jackie murmurs, leaning in
to cup Shauna’s cheek. “And please don’t think this is me trying to take advantage of you while
you’re like… my mom’s level of faded. I just… didn’t want to wait any longer to ask.”

“First of all, I’m nowhere near your mom’s level of ‘out of it.’ Second of all…” Shauna mumbles,
trying (and failing) to suppress the dopey grin working its way onto her face. “I’m glad that you
didn’t wait any longer to ask… I probably would’ve gone into full-on panic mode if you went
another day without contacting me.”

Jackie scrunches her nose and giggles a bit at that— her genuine, girlish laugh— then leans in
closer, rubbing her thumb over Shauna’s cheek. “Mhm, good thing then,” she absently mumbles,
gaze drifting from Shauna’s eyes to Shauna’s lips. “You know I’m not good in crisis situations,”
Jackie adds, biting down on her lip.

Shauna lazily nods, too focused on the way Jackie’s sinking her teeth into her lip to even register
what it is that Jackie’s actually saying. And maybe, Jackie’s right; maybe Shauna really is at Mrs.
Taylor's level of faded. Because, before Shauna really even notices that it’s happening, Jackie’s
closing her eyes and leaning in. Oh fuck.

“Mono,” Shauna shrieks, placing a firm hand on Jackie’s chest and shoving her away. “We can’t.
Not right now,” she hurriedly adds, in a desperate attempt to wipe the perplexed and disappointed
look off of Jackie’s face. “I have Mono, Jackie.”

Apparently, that isn’t the right thing to say, because then Jackie’s narrowing her hazel eyes and
frowning at Shauna. Her hand freezes on Shauna’s cheek, and Jackie’s posture goes so rigid that
Shauna suddenly feels so small. Now Shauna feels like she’s the prey and Jackie’s the predator,
with the way Jackie’s unblinking eyes are trained right on her. Now Shauna feels like she’s some
sort of defenseless zebra— slumped weakly against her pillows— while Jackie looms over her, all
lion-like. It’s almost like she can smell all of the fear radiating throughout Shauna’s body, and
she’s just waiting for the perfect time to strike.

“Jeff has Mono, too,” Jackie flatly states, studying Shauna’s face closely. And now, Shauna really
does feel like prey— feels like she can’t make any sudden movements. She knows better than to
sigh, knows better than to swallow, knows better than to look away— all tell-tale signs that she’s
guilty. It’s like she’s getting polygraph tested by some FBI agent— and, honestly— that might be
less stressful for Shauna, than this.

The heat of Jackie’s gaze has her feeling like she’s scorching— burning up alive— from the inside
out. It’s worse than the fever that she’s had for days. But, somehow, she powers through it. She’s
really become quite the expert at lying, hasn’t she?

“Yeah, well, I drank out of his solo cup at Mari’s,” Shauna confidently states, adding in a fake
chuckle for extra manipulation points. “Guess Smirnoff and orange juice isn’t strong enough to kill
Mono germs.”

Jackie gives her another hardened once-over— like she knows it’s total bullshit — but then she’s
softening her gaze just as quickly. Then she’s leaning in closer and cupping Shauna’s face between
both of her hands, looking at Shauna like she’s some precious gem— or like she’s some sort of
injured animal.

“I’m sorry he got you sick,” Jackie hums, rubbing one of her thumbs over the apple of Shauna’s
cheek. “Especially since I’m pretty sure you actually got it, like, second-hand. From me,” she
mutters, prompting an eyebrow raise from Shauna. Oh, if only Jackie knew the truth. “Ok, well.
You can’t get Mono twice, and I got it in the fifth grade after kissing Pete Braxton…” she
grumbles, grimacing over the memory. “But like, obviously I kiss Jeff— and then I kissed you.
And like, I probably still had his Mono germs in my mouth when I kissed you, or something.”

And God, those words have Shauna feeling like her heart has managed to sink all the way through
the attic floor and to the first story of her house. Of course, Jackie’s unknowingly taking the blame
for something that Shauna did to herself. Jackie’s inadvertently taking the blame for the aftermath
of what Shauna did with Jackie’s own, fucking boyfriend. Shauna’s Mono is the ultimate sign of
betrayal— a mark of high treason against their friendship— and yet, Jackie’s more than willing to
make it her fault. It makes Shauna’s heart melt— makes her feel even guiltier— even though she
knows that there’s no way in hell Jackie knows how Shauna really got it. Jackie’s lack of basic
biology knowledge really set that fact into stone, to be honest.

“I dunno, um… maybe?” Shauna breezily lies, almost like it has become second nature to her—
like it’s suddenly her natural instinct, to lie to Jackie’s innocent face. “Like, yeah. Probably. That
um… that makes sense, Jax.”

“Mhm,” Jackie murmurs, squishing Shauna’s cheeks up. “And since I already had Mono…” she
trails off, pausing to shoot a sly smirk Shauna’s way. “You have to kiss me. No excuses,
Shipman.”

“One kiss,” Shauna commands, earning a little pout from Jackie. She tries to ignore the way her
throat constricts right after she says it. Shauna swears her entire body is trying to give her away—
trying to snitch on her, about the Jeff thing. “I’m serious, Jax. I don’t— don’t want to risk it. Being
this sick fucking sucks.”

“Fine,” Jackie whines, right before letting out a deep sigh. “You know, I really hate it when you
worry about my well-being,” she teases, prompting an eye-roll from Shauna.

Shauna wants to say something kind of snarky in return— like, she swears she’s got the perfect
comeback skirting dangerously along the ridge of her tongue— but then Jackie’s closing her eyes
and leaning in.

This kiss is so unlike all of their previous kisses, and it almost makes Shauna want to cry. It’s not
frantic or rough— it’s soft and slow. It’s happening in Shauna’s bedroom and there's no rush— no
potential of getting caught by one of their drunken classmates, making out in some party bathroom.
Everything about it is sweet— innocent, almost— and it has the butterflies taking off in Shauna’s
stomach, all over again. Jackie's being so careful and gentle with her— almost like Shauna's made
of glass, and could shatter into pieces at any moment. So, Shauna quickly decides that this is her
favorite kiss with Jackie yet.

But, for the first time in what feels like forever, Jackie actually seems to be listening to what
Shauna tells her. She swiftly pulls away— so promptly that Shauna’s still got her eyes closed and
lips puckered up— and then Jackie’s pulling her hands off of Shauna’s face, just to run them
through Shauna’s hair.

“You should really try and go back to sleep,” Jackie practically whispers, tucking a few strands of
messy hair behind Shauna’s ear. “That way you can get better… and we can do more of that,” she
adds, pulling her hands out of Shauna’s tousled hair and standing up— with a smirk on her face.

“Mhm,” Shauna mumbles in agreement, because, suddenly, she really does feel extra tired. It
finally hits her that this is like, the first time she’s been awake for this long in days, and she must
be feeling the effects of it. “You’re right,” she whispers, unceremoniously shoving the manila
folders further down the bed before rolling onto her right side. “Sleepy,” Shauna admits on a yawn,
closing her eyes.

With her eyes closed and her back turned to her, Shauna cannot see Jackie at all. But, she sure as
hell can hear Jackie, and the deep sigh she lets out is louder than any alarm clock Shauna’s ever
had the (dis)pleasure of owning. Before Shauna can whip around and ask her what’s wrong,
Shauna can feel the bed dip beneath Jackie’s weight again. Then Shauna feels the blanket wrapped
around her loosen a bit, and Jackie’s head hit the vacant space behind her— on her pillow. And, if
Shauna had any real confusion over what Jackie was doing, she got a resounding answer in the
form of Jackie’s hot breath— puffing against her cheek.

“Jax—?” Shauna gravelly murmurs, over her shoulder. She attempts to shift around, to spare a
glazed-over glance at Jackie, but Jackie stops her dead in her tracks.

Jackie flings an arm around Shauna’s stomach, scooting closer and closer to her; at this point, she’s
practically spooning Shauna from behind. So, Shauna instinctively lifts one of her hands up, just to
place it over the hand Jackie has loosely wrapped over her abdomen. Jackie hums a bit, and Shauna
swears she can both hear it and feel it— against the shell of her ear. She can practically feel herself
blushing all the way through, and she feels so warm and fuzzy— in a way that she knows can’t
possibly be because of her fever.

“Go to bed, Mono girl,” Jackie grumbles, tucking her chin against Shauna’s shoulder. “Need to get
you better,” she whispers, with a huff.

Shauna decides there’s no need for arguing and obediently follows Jackie’s command— without
much of an afterthought, for once. She allows herself to drift off to sleep, coaxed into it by the
sensation of Jackie running a soothing hand through her hair.

And, right before Shauna knocks out completely, she swears she can feel Jackie press a tentative
kiss to the crown of her head. But, in the blink of an eye, the feeling is gone; Jackie’s chin is
tucked against her shoulder, all over again. So, maybe she imagined that one.

Whatever the case may be, Shauna swears she hasn’t slept this soundly in weeks. The guilt seeps
out of her— the whole Jeff thing just, disappears from the forefront of her brain— and it’s like she
can finally relax again. And, if Shauna’s being completely honest, she swears that she’s never slept
this well in her entire lifetime. Wrapped up in Jackie’s arms like this, Shauna convinces herself that
everything will work out. Someway, somehow … everything would be alright.
Chapter End Notes

this is so dialogue-heavy i am so sorry if u r not ab that. next chapter- cute date things
that jackie refuses to admit are date things.
 full-fledged date
Chapter Summary

“Here, Now you can’t say I’ve never given you anything,” Shauna teases, immediately
passing the bunny over to Jackie— who squeezes it so tightly that Shauna swears its
seams might burst and stuffing might come spilling right out of it. “So I’m assuming
this means you like it?” Shauna dubiously asks, as Jackie practically leaps at her—
wrapping her skinny arms around Shauna’s neck.

“I love it,” Jackie firmly states, accidentally hitting Shauna in the neck with the little
plush still in her hand. “And I…” she confidently starts, before abruptly halting. “I
don’t want this day to ever end,” Jackie finishes, albeit somewhat weakly. Weird.

“Me too,” Shauna agrees, nodding her head and instinctively reaching her hands up to
grab Jackie’s waist. And, somehow, it’s like their bodies have instinctively shifted
closer together— because their foreheads are practically touching at this point. If
Shauna were to move forward an inch, their lips would be touching, too. “It was a
great plan,” she sheepishly admits, prompting a girlish giggle to escape Jackie’s throat.

Or: The girlies act all couple-y.

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

April 20th, 1996

The sudden, piercing shrill of the fire alarm cuts through the air like a sharpened hunting knife—
startling Shauna from her deep sleep in seconds. It scares the absolute shit out of her— like, she
legitimately jolts awake— but she still struggles to pull herself out of bed. Coach Martinez had
them running more wind sprints than an Army drill sergeant at practice the night before, and
Shauna’s still so fucking sore from the ordeal that she takes her sweet time getting out of bed—
potential fire be damned.

It’s only then, as Shauna begins to lazily rub at her sleepy eyes, that she remembers that Jackie had
decided to stay the night. It wasn’t like it was a big deal, or out of the ordinary. Shauna’s eyes were
practically drooping by the time they made it to the car— like, that’s how tired she was, thanks to
Coach Martinez’s power trip— so, she didn’t really want to drive more than she had to. Plus,
Jackie was more than thrilled at the prospect of sleeping over and making up for lost “hanging out”
time, especially since Shauna had just returned to school after her little mono stint from hell that
Friday.

Both of them were so worn out after soccer practice, that Shauna wasn’t all that surprised when
Jackie practically collapsed into Shauna’s bed upon arrival at the Shipman residence. So,
considering how tired Jackie was the night prior, Shauna’s honestly shocked when she blindly
reaches behind her and touches nothing. All she feels is a cold, empty mattress— the complete
opposite of Jackie’s constantly warm, skinny frame. She frowns at the discovery and instinctively
peaks over her shoulder, finding all of her suspicions proven right in seconds.
It’s extremely out of character and odd that Jackie isn’t here— cuddled up in bed with her— still.
There’s nothing on the agenda today— it’s a Saturday, and Coach Martinez had prematurely
decided to cancel practice after checking the weather forecasts— so, it’s not like Jackie had to
wake her ass up early. So, where the fuck was she?

Before Shauna can let her mind spin up a list of potential scenarios to account for Jackie’s behavior
— which, honestly, she’ll admit has become a detriment to her health at this point— the fire alarm
starts ringing all over again. Thus, with a bit of confusion and apprehension, Shauna tears the
blankets off of her sore body, slips out of her small bed, and makes her way down the cold rungs of
the attic ladder.

As soon as she makes it to the first floor of her house, Shauna’s nostrils are practically attacked by
the offensive smell of something burning— actually, more like charring. Instinctively, Shauna
shuffles towards the kitchen— desperately attempting to rub the remnants of sleep out of her
brown eyes, as she strides through the entryway.

And, that’s where she finds Jackie: in the kitchen, next to the pan-covered stove, and wielding a
spatula. With Jackie’s back to her and completely unaware of her presence, Shauna just leans
against a far wall, admiring the view. Although it’s not like, a brand new concept, Shauna can’t
help but smile over the fact that Jackie is currently wearing one of Shauna’s many flannel shirts.
Obviously, Jackie’s borrowed clothes from Shauna before— she’s a world-renowned clothing thief,
who has somehow managed to “forget” to pack a change of clothes nearly every single time
they’ve had a sleepover (even since they were kids)— but it’s like, different now. It feels different
to Shauna, primarily because of their whole “friends with benefits” pact— which, Jackie still
refuses to refer to it as, by the way.

But, Shauna knows that what they’re currently doing is literally the textbook definition of “friends
with benefits,” so now she finds the most like, stupid and derisive shit meaningful. So, yeah. Sue
Shauna for appreciating the image of Jackie with her flannel shirt on, looking all cute while she
made something in her kitchen so calmly— like this was just, something Jackie did regularly. Ok,
well. Shauna isn’t lying about all the other stuff, but maybe the whole “calmly” part was a bit of a
stretch, because…

“Shit,” Jackie announces, frantically waving her spatula-free hand over the pan— which has begun
to smoke up. Shauna tries to hold back laughter as she tentatively approaches, watching closely as
Jackie scrambles to open up the window right above the sink— in what Shauna figures is some
desperate attempt to let some of the smoke out.

“Coal for breakfast?” Shauna teases, prompting Jackie to freeze immediately. She slowly pulls her
hand away from the window and spins around, a bashful smile on her face. For a second, Jackie
looks like a criminal who has been caught red-handed, but then she cooly shrugs. Shauna can’t
help but laugh at Jackie’s attempt to feign an air of confidence, sidling right up next to her. “Or, I
guess really burnt pancakes?” she quickly amends, peering into the pan on the stove.

“Oh fuck you,” Jackie mumbles, although there’s no real malice behind it. “I was trying to surprise
you, but I guess I ruined it by… burning the surprise and also waking your ass up.”

Shauna laughs, gesturing for Jackie to hand her the spatula. After a bit of pouting, Jackie
eventually relents— handing Shauna the spatula with an overly dramatic, heavy sigh. “Ok well, I
still appreciate the attempt,” Shauna sincerely states, as Jackie shifts a bit out of the way— just to
let her in front of the pan. Shauna flips the pancake that’s currently in it, finding that the bottom is
a little bit dark. “Even though the wake-up call was an interesting one,” she adds, lowering the heat
a bit.
“So, you’re telling me you don’t like waking up to the sound of the smoke alarm on a Saturday
morning?” Jackie asks, quirking an eyebrow. Shauna grins and shakes her head, dumping the half-
burned pancake in the trash before spooning some more batter into the pan. “Well, don’t worry. I
have the perfect plan to make it up to you.”

“Right, ‘cause you always come up with the best ideas… pancake burner,” Shauna teases, earning
a light swat on the shoulder from Jackie. “Wow, this plan of yours better be really fucking good.
Now you have to make up for waking me up, nearly burning my kitchen down, and assaulting
me,” she adds, flipping the pancake over. It’s literally the perfect color— all fluffy and golden-
brown-looking— and Shauna can’t help but get slightly cocky. “Oh, would you look at that?
Managed to make a perfect pancake… swat and all.”

“You’re such a drama queen, Shipman,” Jackie childishly laments, swaying over to the dining
room table. She plops down in a seat, then places her elbow down onto the table— just so she can
tuck her hand underneath her chin. Shauna spares her a side glance, smiling at how cute Jackie
currently looks— all messy-haired, sleepy, and kind of pouty. “And yeah, this plan is like… totally
fool-proof,” she wistfully mumbles, as Shauna finishes up making the rest of the pancake batter
into edible (and totally not burned) pancakes. “It’s so perfect… you’re just going to have to love
it.”

Shauna laughs a bit at that, before striding over to the table with the plate of pancakes— as well as
two extra plates, some utensils, and a bottle of syrup. “Jax, you keep going on and on about this
master plan of yours, but I haven’t heard anything about it yet…” Shauna states, placing all the
plates and utensils onto the table. Jackie shoots Shauna a glare as she reaches across the table to
grab a plate, some utensils, and a pancake. “So, honestly, I’m starting to feel like this ‘master plan’
doesn’t actually exist,” Shauna confidently announces, watching Jackie douse a childish amount of
syrup onto her pancake.

“Fine, you wanna hear my plan?” Jackie murmurs, waving around a forkful of pancake. Shauna
giddily nods, scooping a pancake onto her own plate as Jackie smirks. She cuts into it, placing the
piece up to her mouth, but then freezes at Jackie’s next words. “You, me. Six Flags. All-day, today.
No parents, no interruptions,” she confidently states, right before shoving her bite into her mouth.
Shauna automatically drops her pancake-covered fork to her plate— bite completely forgotten— as
Jackie just smirks all deviously at her. “You’ve been bitching about how bored you are over not
getting to leave the house in weeks— except for like, soccer practice and school. This is your first
free weekend out of Mono hell, I just… figured we should celebrate.”

“Doesn’t Jeff have a game today? It’s Saturday, Jackie,” Shauna finds herself automatically
blurting out— before she can even attempt to stop it. As soon as the words spew from her mouth,
Shauna wants to chastise herself. Like, obviously she doesn’t give a fuck about Jeff or his stupid
baseball game. But, ever since the whole secret betrayal thing, it’s like Jeff’s constantly on
Shauna’s mind. Not in like a romantic way (obviously), but in this like… super hyper-aware way.
It’s like she’s afraid that Jackie somehow knows about the Sadecki-Shipman betrayal, and that’s
why Jackie isn’t being all that attentive to Jeff. Shauna just… refuses to believe Jackie would
actually choose her over Jeff, even after everything. Like, there has to be some other reason why
Jackie keeps choosing her over Jeff— right?

“Um… yeah,” Jackie hesitantly states, shoving the last piece of her pancake into her mouth. “But
they’re playing Monmouth Regional, so it’s like… no contest,” she adds, slightly more
confidently. Shauna nods, chewing the last piece of her pancake as Jackie continues to ramble off
excuses. “Wiskayok’s going to get their asses handed to them… plus Jeff’s not even starting today.
Says his arm is sore or some shit, so why bother,” Jackie mumbles, standing up and collecting all
the dirty plates and silverware.
Shauna was at a complete loss for words; it was like Jackie didn’t give a fuck about Jeff anymore,
like, at all. It had been this way for weeks— even before their little “agreement” and the whole
Mari’s bathroom thing— but Shauna still found it so weird. It just didn’t make sense— the idea of
Jackie Taylor choosing to “hang out” with Shauna Shipman over her perfect, textbook high-school
romance with Mr. BMOC. So, of course, Shauna decides to pry further. “Right, yeah. I just figured
you might’ve wanted to—”

“Sit in some cold-ass bleachers all day? Hard pass, Shipman,” Jackie resolutely states, dumping all
of the dishware into the sink. Shauna opens her mouth to speak— totally prepared to ask Jackie
why she seems so completely over Jeff— but then Jackie manages to render her completely
speechless. Honestly, Jackie manages to melt her heart down into syrup— almost like the kind she
just enthusiastically doused her pancake with. “Plus, I’d honestly rather spend my day off of
practice with my best girl, riding roller-coasters and playing those little arcade games,” Jackie
declares, spinning away from the sink to grin at Shauna. “So, whataya say?”

Shauna wants to say a whole lot of different things, in response to that most recent remark. She
wants to tell Jackie about the whole Jeff thing— and about the potential Brown predicament, too.
She wants to tell Jackie that she meant what she said in Mari’s bathroom— that she really does love
her— and that she wishes Jackie could feel the same way. Shauna wants to tell Jackie that she
wants to be more than some stupid, little “fun” fling that Jackie can talk about in twenty years with
her kids— while reminiscing over her “rebellious” stage.

But, instead, Shauna simply says: “Yeah, sounds like a great idea, Jax. I can drive.” Because,
honestly, what the hell else could she say? None of that shit, obviously. Shauna’s barely had Jackie
like this, and it’s like Shauna’s already thinking of ways to implode this whole… thing.

And then, Jackie’s enthusiastically clapping her hands and rushing over to Shauna’s chair, hugging
her tightly from behind. “We are going to have so, so much fun,” she practically squeals, placing a
quick kiss on Shauna’s cheek before unraveling her arms and pulling away. Shauna can
legitimately feel her cheeks beginning to blush after the kiss, even as Jackie shifts so she’s standing
in front of Shauna. “Ok, but like… ground rules,” Jackie announces, and— before Shauna can
even think to open her mouth— Jackie is already rattling shit right off. “We totally can’t kiss in
public, that’s for after. You know how people are around here… super nosy. Plus, my parents
won’t be home till Monday, so…” she quickly asserts, taking a deep breath before continuing.
“And, maybe we should like, watch the hand-holding, too? I don’t know… I feel like it could be a
risk. But like, do you think it could be a really big risk factor? Like, we used to hold hands before
this and nobody said—”

“Jesus, Jax. I know— I know how to behave in public. I’m not some like, fucking five-year-old,
alright?” Shauna snaps, prompting Jackie’s mouth to shut in an instant. She suddenly feels like her
head might explode if Jackie continues spewing this bullshit, and yet Jackie is the one looking all
offended. Jackie’s got her patented, disappointed frown on— the one Shauna figures Jeff knows a
little too well, considering all the times Jackie’s bitched about him— and Jackie’s crossing her
arms tightly over her chest. And, honestly? Shauna’s really not in the mood for a verbal spar right
now. Not when she could be spending her day having fun at Six Flags with Jackie— ground rules
included (unfortunately). So, Shauna decides it’s her turn to wave the white flag, for once. “Look,
I’m um— I’m sorry, ok? It’s just… Jackie, I know how nervous all of this makes you. I’m not
gonna do anything to fuck this up, or make you upset.”

“I am so not nervous… this whole thing was my idea,” Jackie huffs, as Shauna levels her with a
look. “Ok, fucking fine,” she exasperatedly concedes, throwing her hands up in the air. “I’m a little
nervous. Like, if Jeff or— or my parents were to ever—”
“Jackie,” Shauna sighs, arising from her seat. “It’s gonna be fine,” she firmly states, inching closer
to Jackie. “I promise I’ll be well-behaved,” she teases, prompting a smile to replace the frown on
the lighter-haired girl’s face. “And I swear…” Shauna mumbles, cupping Jackie’s face in between
both of her hands. “Nobody’s gonna find out. It’s just for ‘fun,’ anyways. Remember?”

The words taste bitter rolling off of Shauna’s tongue, but they’re apparently— and, unfortunately
for Shauna— exactly what Jackie needs to hear. Jackie automatically relaxes, sighing a bit over
Shauna’s words. “Yeah, you’re right. Figures… you’ve always been the brains, anyways,” Jackie
mumbles, provoking a smile to materialize on Shauna’s own face. “We should get going, though.
Traffic might get bad soon,” Jackie adds, as Shauna makes to pull her hands off of Jackie’s face.
“One kiss for the road though,” she firmly states, covering Shauna’s hands with her own— right
before Shauna can remove them.

Shauna can’t bite back the smile on her mouth as she leans in closer to Jackie, finding herself
grinning into the kiss. Jackie doesn’t seem to mind, smiling right back into it— before abruptly
pulling away. She removes her hands from Shauna’s, and Shauna instinctively slips her hands off
Jackie’s face, too.

“Ready to go, then?” Shauna questions, prompting an enthusiastic nod from Jackie. “Alright, let’s
go get changed and then—”

Jackie cuts her off, abruptly cupping Shauna’s face between her hands, before placing another
quick peck against her lips. As soon as Jackie pulls back, Shauna knows she’s shooting her an
inquisitive look. It’s like all Jackie’s been doing recently is surprising her— keeping Shauna on her
toes, all the time.

“What? I decided we needed two for the road. Shoot me, I guess,” Jackie says, in between a string
of little giggles. She slips her hands off Shauna’s face and twirls around, marching towards the
ladder to Shauna’s bedroom. Shauna all but sprints after Jackie, so fast that her socks glide against
the floor and she almost slips.

And then it takes them a little longer to get into the car than expected — whether from the little
impromptu makeout session in Shauna’s bedroom, or the amount of time it takes Jackie to simply
pick an outfit, Shauna doesn’t know— but, eventually, they manage to get onto the Garden State
Parkway.

Jackie fearlessly kisses her in the car— multiple times— on their way to the park, but Shauna
figures that it’s because Jackie doesn’t count Kevin Carnold as a public space.

By mid-afternoon, Jackie and Shauna had already ridden on half the rollercoasters, consumed their
fair share of cotton candy, and successfully avoided seeing a single person they knew.

Although all of the weather forecasts had predicted rain— which was why soccer practice got
canceled, in the first place— the New Jersey sun was beating down hard. So hard, that Jackie’s
cheeks got a little bit sunburnt— highlighting the smatter of light brown freckles on her nose and
cheeks. This, combined with the way Jackie was practically skipping towards the boardwalk area,
made Shauna’s heart melt.

Shauna’s heart melted even further when, suddenly, Jackie decides to break one of the stupid
“ground rules” she had created. Before Shauna could alert Jackie to the fact that she was actively
breaching her rules, Jackie was linking their hands together and tugging Shauna towards the ring
toss booth.
"Oh my god. Jeff sucks at this game,” Jackie bemoans, although she’s smiling so widely Shauna
swears she can see all of her teeth. Shauna swears Jackie’s radiant smile is the only thing keeping
her stomach from churning at merely hearing the word Jeff. “Which is funny because he like…
literally pitches,” she adds, pointing to one of the stuffed prizes hanging on the booth’s wall. “He
tried to win me that bunny… and missed literally every bottle by like a foot.”

Shauna doesn’t know what it is, but she suddenly feels like she needs to upstage Jeff— needs to
win Jackie that overpriced, stuffed bunny. Like, Shauna knows she’s not the most competitive
person on the planet— if anything, she actually avoids conflict and going up against people like
the plague— but now she needs to beat Jeff. She knows she’s being absolutely ridiculous. Like, it’s
so stupid and so inconsequential— that fucking bunny. But, for whatever reason, Shauna fully
believes that this will somehow set her apart from Jeff. Like this stupid bunny will somehow prove
how much she really does love Jackie, to Jackie.

So, in mere seconds, Shauna’s whipping her wallet out of her back pocket and pulling out a five-
dollar bill. Jackie just watches her do it— her eyebrows and nose all scrunched up— like she has no
idea what Shauna is up to. “Well, maybe I can do it,” Shauna states, feigning an air of
nonchalance. Obviously, she feels anything but calm or collected about this entire thing— for
whatever reason, Shauna feels like everything is riding on this. “My dad always said I had a good
arm… I’m pretty sure he’s still bitter that I chose to play soccer over softball,” she murmurs to
Jackie, while passing the bill over to the game’s attendant. He hands Shauna five red-colored rings
in return, and then Shauna spares a quick glance over her shoulder at Jackie— standing behind her,
gazing at her weirdly. “What? You don’t think I can do it?” Shauna asks, raising an eyebrow
incredulously at her.

“No— that’s not,” Jackie stammers, but then quickly changes gears. “Nevermind, it’s… it’s
nothing,” she murmurs, gesturing for Shauna to turn around.

Although Shauna’s a little confused— to say the least— she takes the hint, spinning back around.
Jackie sidles up beside Shauna at the counter— grinning softly with appreciative eyes— as Shauna
begins tossing rings at the little green bottles, saying a silent prayer to God above that at least two
of them snag.

Maybe Laura Lee’s onto something with her whole Jesus-freak thing, because somehow Shauna
manages to nail four bottles in this usually rigged-ass game. And, honestly, Shauna swears she’s
never seen Jackie so excited in her life. She’s jumping up and down, clapping her hands, and
squealing like a schoolgirl as the game attendant quickly asks Shauna what prize she wants.
Shauna doesn’t even spare Jackie a glance before automatically pointing to the esteemed brown
bunny stuffed animal, and then he’s extending a hand over the counter to hand it to Shauna.

“Here, Now you can’t say I’ve never given you anything,” Shauna teases, immediately passing the
bunny over to Jackie— who squeezes it so tightly that Shauna swears its seams might burst and
stuffing might come spilling right out of it. “So I’m assuming this means you like it?” Shauna
dubiously asks, as Jackie practically leaps at her— wrapping her skinny arms around Shauna’s
neck.

“I love it,” Jackie firmly states, accidentally hitting Shauna in the neck with the little plush still in
her hand. “And I…” she confidently starts, before abruptly halting. “I don’t want this day to ever
end,” Jackie finishes, albeit somewhat weakly. Weird.

“Me too,” Shauna agrees, nodding her head and instinctively reaching her hands up to grab Jackie’s
waist. And, somehow, it’s like their bodies have instinctively shifted closer together— because
their foreheads are practically touching at this point. If Shauna were to move forward an inch, their
lips would be touching, too. “It was a great plan,” she sheepishly admits, prompting a girlish giggle
to escape Jackie’s throat.

“Oh yeah?” Jackie murmurs, eyes drifting downward to Shauna’s lips. “Guess that means I really
do know you well,” she adds, tightening the arms she has looped around Shauna’s neck.

And yet again, before Shauna can even warn her, Jackie’s breaking her own rules all over again.
Jackie closes her eyes and leans in, standing on her tippy-toes to bridge the small gap between
them. Shauna closes her eyes too— mind reeling over why Jackie might not give a fuck about her
rules anymore at all. But, in the cruelest fucking twist of fate, they somehow finally manage to run
into somebody they know.

“If it isn’t my two favorite people in the world. Six and nine.” Natalie fucking Scatorccio.

Both of their eyes fly wide fucking open at the sound, as they practically jump apart. Jackie begins
anxiously toying around with the bunny in her hand, as Shauna instinctively shoves both of her
hands in her front pockets— trying (and probably failing) to look casual.

Thankfully, Jackie decides to take one for the team and speak for the both of them, as Nat
approaches. Besides, it isn't like Shauna can even find the ability to speak at this point, anyways.
Like, that’s how dry her mouth suddenly feels from their little close call.

“Nat, always a pleasure,” Jackie mumbles between gritted teeth, with an accompanying eye-roll.
“Guess we had the same idea on how to spend our day off, huh?” she weakly adds, as Nat’s eyes
linger between the two of them. She grins a bit as she does so, and Shauna can’t help but feel like
Nat has definitely put two and two together. Like, there's no way she didn’t think anything of that
little moment she and Jackie just had… right? But then again… maybe she doesn’t.

“Yeah, me and Pudge decided to pack a bowl and then hit some coasters. It’s a real fucking trip,”
Nat lazily states, grinning widely. “I have some extra joints rolled and he’s in the bathroom, so I’d
offer you guys some hits but uh… not sure if your lungs can handle it ‘Cap,” she admits, breaking
off into an incoherent laughing fit.

“Oh fuck you,” Jackie spits, as Shauna begins to giggle a bit to herself, too. It’s always funny when
somebody teases Jackie over her weed tolerance (or lack thereof), especially since she has
legitimately coughed after every drag of a joint that Jeff’s ever given her. “I can totally handle it, I
have before. I’m just… not in the mood, anyways,” she weakly adds, spurring the grin on Nat’s
face to grow even wider.

“Fine, maybe Van and Taissa might want some,” Nat mutters, spurring Jackie’s face to screw up a
bit. “Guess you two had the same idea as them and—”

“What?” Jackie sputters, eyes growing wide. Shauna both internally and externally cringes. Oh no.
“What the fuck are you trying to imply right now, Nat—”

“Um… that they also went to Six Flags. Just like us three?” Natalie says, glancing over at Shauna
in confusion. “Jesus, all I was trying to say was that we basically all had the same idea. I ran into
them earlier, and all I’m sayin’ is that we’re just missing like… Coach and Lottie. Take a fucking
chill pill, Jackie.”

“Oh,” Jackie numbly states, deflating a bit. Natalie just stares at her in utter astonishment, eyes
narrowed right at her. “I just thought… never mind.”

“Right…” Nat slowly says, looking cautiously between the two of them again. Honestly, Shauna
swears she can see the gears churning behind that clump of bleach-blonde hair on her head. “Well,
Pudge is probably done by now so… guess I’ll see you guys at practice tomorrow?”

“For sure,” Jackie enthusiastically states, so sickly-sweet that Shauna knows it’s fake as hell. It’s
the voice Jackie usually uses on her parents, whenever she wants something— like a car, or a
personal landline, or the newest edition of Sassy. “Have the time of your life, Nat!”

Nat rolls her eyes and chuckles a bit at that, throwing them both a two-finger wave. “Bye Jackie…
and uh,” she trails off, smirking right at Shauna. “See ya, Shipman,” she casually states, through
the devious smirk on her face. And, with that, she stumbles right off— before Shauna can even get
a word in.

For a second, she and Jackie just stand there— legitimately frozen in place— in what Shauna
figures is complete, and utter shock. But then, of course, Jackie immediately begins freaking the
fuck out— once Nat is completely out of view.

“Do you think she saw us?” Jackie quickly asks, voice pitching higher as she turns to face Shauna.
Her usually tanned face is now a ghostly shade of white, and Shauna swears she’s never seen
Jackie this spooked in her entire life. “She had to have, right? And the Van and Tai comment… oh
my God. We are so completely fucked, Shauna. So completely fucked. I am so fuck—”

“Jackie,” Shauna firmly states, placing a hand on Jackie’s shoulder. Jackie tenses up a bit
underneath her touch, but then relaxes once Shauna starts rubbing reassuringly at the skin there.
“She’s legitimately higher than the Empire State Building right now,” Shauna quips, resulting in a
tentative smile breaking onto Jackie’s face. “And… c’mon. It’s Nat. If she had seen something…”
Shauna trails off, sucking in a deep breath. “She definitely would’ve said something.”

Jackie sighs, sounding all put-upon, and then reluctantly nods her head. “Yeah… you’re right. She
would’ve said something like, so bitchy,” Jackie concedes, prompting Shauna to grin and nod at
her. Shauna just keeps rubbing circles on her shoulder, and then Jackie finally decides to speak
again— after a brief, moment of awkward silence. “We should uh— probably go, though. Looks
like it’s gonna rain,” Jackie numbly states, pointing up at the sky.

Before Shauna can even open her mouth to notify Jackie that there is not a singular cloud in the
sky, Jackie’s grabbing her hand and tugging her towards the nearest park exit. Yet another instance
of Jackie breaking one of her own ground rules in two, Shauna thinks.

“Fuck, no hickeys,” Jackie manages to gasp out, even as Shauna plants kisses against the slender
column of her neck. Shauna smirks against it in response, and Jackie lets out another frustrated huff
— fisting a hand into Shauna’s hair. She uses the leverage to pull Shauna’s head back— forcing
Shauna to look her in the eyes. “I mean it… that’s like, a total dead giveaway.”

“Mhm. I promise I won’t leave any bruises,” Shauna innocently states, provoking an eye roll from
Jackie. “I swear, Jax,” she affirms, and Jackie bites her own lip and grins all sweetly up at Shauna.
So, Shauna instinctively leans back down, capturing Jackie’s lips in a searing kiss.

It’s different than the two times they’ve hooked up at parties— and Shauna feels like it’s a good
different. First of all, they’re in Jackie’s bed this time— which is far more comfortable than some
bathroom wall or a frigid toilet seat. Second of all, Jackie is completely fucking sober this time—
so it shocks Shauna a bit, how much she’s still into this. Third of all… well. Maybe she just likes
the feeling of Jackie squirming and panting underneath her, pinned beneath her body weight.
Whoops.
Jackie fists her other hand into Shauna’s hair as Shauna slips her tongue into Jackie’s mouth,
swallowing a little gasp from the lighter-haired girl. Then, Jackie’s lazily swinging a leg over
Shauna’s hip, forcing them even closer together. Before long, Jackie starts desperately bucking her
hips up against Shauna’s— letting out these little whines that have Shauna’s head spinning.

Not only do they have Shauna’s head spinning, but they also have her growing bolder. She
instinctively snakes a hand between their bodies, and reaches for the button on Jackie’s jeans. As
soon as she manages to pop it open— without much opposition from Jackie— Shauna swears she’s
home free. Like, Jackie’s bucking her hips up and making all these little noises. She wants this…
right?

Wrong.

Jackie snatches Shauna’s wrist, right as she begins to sneak her hand beneath the fabric of Jackie’s
jeans. She tugs Shauna’s hand away from the waistband, and Shauna instinctively breaks the kiss,
peering down at Jackie’s blushing face— while shakily supporting herself on one arm. “I thought
—” Shauna nervously starts, fearful that she has somehow already managed to ruin this new
fledgling thing they’ve got going on.

“It’s not—” Jackie breathlessly cuts her off, running a hand through Shauna’s messy hair. “I— Jeff
wouldn’t like it. If I did that… with someone else. That’s like… going over the line. Cheating
territory. I um… think?”

Shauna opens her mouth to speak, because she cannot believe the words spewing from Jackie’s
mouth. Literally, what? Apparently, them making out isn't cheating… no, that was fair fucking
game. It made no sense, literally at all. Besides, it isn't like Jeff has never cheated. He has done
way fucking worse than allowing someone else’s hands— besides his fucking own and Jackie’s—
down his pants. Part of Shauna wants to tell Jackie that, wants to ask Jackie if she knows where
else her boyfriend’s dick has been, but then—

“Jackie, sweetheart. We’re home early from Grandma’s!”

“Shit!” Jackie proclaims, unceremoniously shoving Shauna right off of her. “I’m um… coming!”
she screeches, scrambling off of the bed and pacing over to her vanity.

“Is Shauna here?” rings the tell-tale deep voice of Mr. Taylor, from downstairs. “Her car is in the
street.”

“Yeah!” Jackie screeches back, brushing out all the knots in her hair— at neck-breaking speed.
“Can she stay for dinner?” she calls back, before finally sparing a glance back at Shauna. Shauna
just gapes at her, rendered practically speechless by this whole fucking encounter. Literally, what
the fuck?

“Jackie, are you sure that’s a good—”

“Fine,” rings the unenthused voice of Mrs. Taylor. “Hurry up though, we got takeout from
Sonny’s. You girls don’t want it to get cold.”

“Of course! Be down in five!” Jackie states, using her aforementioned, fake-nice voice. Then she’s
pacing back over to the bed, and grabbing Shauna by the hands. “C’mon, stay for dinner,” Jackie
pleads, pulling Shauna up and off the bed. “Pretty please,” she pouts, dropping Shauna’s hands—
just so she can thread one of hers through Shauna’s tousled locks.

“Fine,” Shauna relents, and then Jackie’s planting a sweet, little kiss on her lips. “But I think we
 should talk about—”

“Later. My mom will kill me if we’re not down there in the next five seconds,” Jackie firmly
states, pulling her hand out of Shauna’s hair. Then, before Shauna can say much else, Jackie is
spinning around and whipping open her bedroom door. She stalks right out of it, and Shauna has no
choice but to follow.

As she inches down the Taylors’ winding staircase, all Shauna can think about is how much their
day felt like a full-fledged date.

Chapter End Notes

coming up next: NY trip where Jackie actually lets shauna kiss her in public and
shauna somehow successfully manages to get to second base. Also some drama with
the rutgers/brown dilemma.
 new york minute
Chapter Summary

“I— I don’t,” Shauna says, turning her attention back to the windshield— and away
from the heat of Jackie’s fiery gaze. “I just— I guess I’m confused why you don’t just
like… break up with him,” she murmurs, fighting the urge to gaze over at Jackie
again. “It just, doesn’t seem like you’re all that—”

“Look. I am so not in the mood to talk about this today, ok?” Jackie firmly states,
turning the car radio back on. Shauna instinctively rolls her eyes, which apparently just
fuels Jackie’s fire even more. “It’s not every day that my Aunt can’t find a fucking
dogsitter and we get a New York apartment to ourselves for half the day. So like, can
you calm down so we can have fun?” Jackie resolutely proclaims, scowling in
Shauna’s direction.

Or: Jackie and Shauna go on an interesting trip to New York

Chapter Notes

this one gets rlly smutty by like section 3 so if you're not into that I am sorry but the
rest is like G-rated I swear

See the end of the chapter for more notes

April 27th, 1996

In typical Jackie Taylor fashion, the whole topic of what constitutes as cheating on Jeff is
completely glossed over. Of course, they don’t talk about it later. Shauna attempts to bring it up
immediately after dinner— and, probably around a hundred times during the week— to absolutely
no avail. With her stupid charisma and confidence, Jackie always manages to dodge the subject
altogether. She either conveniently switches the conversation topic, kisses Shauna to shut her up, or
— in classic Jackie fashion— rolls her eyes and commands Shauna just to let it go.

So, of course, Shauna’s not all that shocked when she ends up asking Jackie yet again for some
kind of explanation for her thought process… and the response she gets is Jackie cranking the
radio in her car all the way up.

“You do realize it makes zero fucking sense, right Jax?” Shauna practically screeches, as the
opening chords of INXS’ "Never Tear Us Apart" fill her car. Great song, but still— the task at hand
was more important than an impromptu sing-along. “Everything we’ve done can be considered
cheating. Like, I get that I’m a girl, but it still fucking counts,” she spits, tightening her grip on the
steering wheel— and literally going white-knuckled.

Don't ask me, what you know is true. Don't have to tell you, I love your precious heart.

“Jax, seriously. Are you even listening to me right now?” Shauna questions, glancing at Jackie—
sitting in the passenger seat. And, honestly, Shauna quite nearly flips her shit at the sight before
her. Shauna finds Jackie carelessly singing along to the song’s lyrics and twirling her light-brown
hair between her fingers— not even close to listening to the words pouring out of Shauna’s mouth.
“Seriously?”

I was standing. You were there. Two worlds collided, and they could never tear us apart.

“You know what? Fuck this,” Shauna exclaims, taking one hand off of the steering wheel— and
jabbing the radio off. In an instant, the lighter-haired girl is practically gawking at her— like,
Shauna swears she’s never seen Jackie look this scorned in her life. “Don’t give me that look. I
deserve some kind of an explanation, Jackie. Literally, everything we have done could be
considered cheating. I just don’t understand—”

"Oh my God,” Jackie exasperatedly cries, rubbing at her eyes in clear distress. “Can we just drop
it? Seriously, since when did you start giving a fuck about Jeff? Are you like, a member of some
Jeff Sadecki fan club now?” she adds, crossing her arms over her chest and staring at Shauna with
narrowed eyes. Shauna can legitimately feel her stomach drop in response to her words— and she
swears it sinks all the way onto the grimy floor of her pre-owned car.

“I— I don’t,” Shauna says, turning her attention back to the windshield— and away from the heat
of Jackie’s fiery gaze. “I just— I guess I’m confused why you don’t just like… break up with him,”
she murmurs, fighting the urge to gaze over at Jackie again. “It just, doesn’t seem like you’re all
that—”

“Look. I am so not in the mood to talk about this today, ok?” Jackie firmly states, turning the car
radio back on. Shauna instinctively rolls her eyes, which apparently just fuels Jackie’s fire even
more. “It’s not every day that my Aunt can’t find a fucking dogsitter and we get a New York
apartment to ourselves for half the day. So like, can you calm down so we can have fun?” Jackie
resolutely proclaims, scowling in Shauna’s direction.

Shauna sucks in a deep breath, and instinctively loosens her grip on the steering wheel a little bit.
Jackie was right— this was like, their day to explore the city. Obviously, Shauna didn’t want to
spend the majority of the day fighting with Jackie, even though Shauna still wanted (and needed)
an explanation from her. So, she decides to follow Jackie’s advice and just let it go… for now.

“Fine, you’re right,” Shauna concedes, sparing a quick glance at Jackie— who is, of course, now
suddenly smiling so brightly. It takes every ounce of Shauna not to roll her eyes; this is typical
only-child Jackie Taylor behavior— always so irritated and pouty until she gets her fucking way.
“Besides, I should be focusing all of my attention on making sure that Lulu gets pampered like
she’s a human fucking being.”

Jackie throatily laughs at that one, wincing a bit at Shauna’s incredibly accurate— albeit cringe-
worthy— words. “Alright, Shipman. I get that the list of instructions she gave us is kind of…
ridiculous,” Jackie admits, spurring a pointed look from Shauna. “But, we should be thanking Aunt
Susan for not having any kids— or like… a life. If she did, she wouldn’t care so much about that
stupid white-crusty, and then we wouldn’t get to live out all of our big city dreams.”

Shauna shakes her head in disbelief over Jackie’s weird logic and her brutal words, but can’t help
matching the grin on the lighter-haired girl’s face. “Can’t believe we’re thankful for that fucking
rat dog,” Shauna mutters, tapping her left blinker on. “Every time she brings that thing to your
house for Thanksgiving, it literally attacks me.”

“Well, maybe Lulu knows how much you hate her,” Jackie admonishes, and Shauna fights the urge
to look at Jackie instead of at the bumper of the car ahead of her. “Dogs can like, read people’s
emotions. Can’t believe I know that and you don’t, with all the books that you read. Guess you’re
not the brainiac I thought you were, after all.”

That one earns Jackie a light swat to the shoulder, which results in Jackie’s airy giggle filling the
confines of Shauna’s shit-box car. However, as soon as Jackie’s laughter dies down, an awkward
silence fills it in seconds. Shauna wants to say something— literally just to keep the upbeat mood
going and avoid any tough conversations— but then Jackie’s speaking all over again. And, this
time, her tone is deathly serious.

“Speaking of being a brainiac… have you gotten your letter from Rutgers yet?” Jackie smoothly
segues, and Shauna suddenly wants to bash her head against the steering wheel. Of course, she
should have seen this one coming. Fuck. “Mom says they’ll probably come today, and I swear I
checked my mailbox like… one-hundred times before you picked me up. But, mine didn’t come
yet. Did yours?”

Shauna tries not to blanch— or, at least, tries hard to hide how much paler her face has gotten—
over the words spilling from Jackie’s mouth. Ever since their whole friends with benefits thing
started, Shauna refused to think about college. It always made her feel like absolute shit, especially
since Jackie was so excited about sharing a room at Rutgers. Initially, Shauna wasn’t all that
thrilled about staying in New Jersey for college— and then being stuck in Jersey for like,
presumably her entire life afterward. But now, Shauna is suddenly perfectly fine with it. Hell, she’s
honestly more than thrilled at the prospect, so long as this whole thing with Jackie just… keeps
going on.

But, obviously, Shauna knew something that Jackie didn’t. Shauna knew that next to that Rutgers
envelope on her kitchen table, there would be one from Brown University, too. And, well. Shauna
didn’t want to think about that, especially not right now. It wasn’t like she was going to get in,
anyways. Shauna would definitely end up at Rutgers, so there was no point in even mentioning the
fact that she applied to another school to Jackie. The whole thing would just stir up unnecessary,
stupid drama during their big day in New York City. So, Shauna decides to just move past the
topic, as quickly as humanly possible.

“Nothing yet. Hopefully, they’ll be there by the time we get back,” Shauna breezily states, and she
can feel Jackie closely scrutinizing her face. Although Jackie seems slightly pensive— almost like
she can tell that Shauna’s being a bit too nonchalant about the topic— she doesn’t actually say
anything. Shauna sees Jackie lackadaisically nod out of her peripheral, so Shauna chooses to just…
swiftly move past the subject altogether. Then, Shauna decides to steal a play from the team
captain’s playbook— decides that it’s her turn to shift this discussion in her favor. “So um… any
‘ground rules’ I should know of? Like, what are we allowed to do and not allowed to do in New
York?” Shauna asks, peeking over at Jackie.

She finds Jackie gazing back at her, a little mischievous smirk playing at the corners of her lips. It
was the kind of grin that never failed to ignite a fire in Shauna’s chest, and it was also the one that
always meant there was some kind of trouble ahead. So, based on that look alone, Shauna
should’ve known that the next words to fly out of Jackie’s mouth would make her want to throw
caution to the wind. Not only do they make her want to say I love you all over again, but they also
almost make Shauna lose complete control of the steering wheel. And, it’s not like Shauna wants to
crash her car and kill them both; she definitely does not want to die before she can take advantage
of what it is that Jackie’s hinting at.

“There are no ‘ground rules’ in place for New York, Shipman. Anything and everything is fair
game,” Jackie coyly states, sucking her lip between her teeth. In seconds, Shauna swears her heart
rate has increased so much that she can feel it beating all the way through her entire body. She also
figures that her mouth must be hanging wide open or her pupils must have comically blown up in
size, because then Jackie’s describing her whole thought process in detail. "Jesus, don’t act so
surprised. We don’t live there, Shauna. Plus, the city’s like… big. We’re not gonna run into
anybody there. It’s like… completely fine.”

“And you’re— you’re totally sure?” Shauna stammers, instinctively looking away from Jackie as
she begins to feel her face heat up. Although she keeps her eyes trained on the windshield, Shauna
could still see the mischievous smirk on Jackie’s face out of the corner of them. It was like Jackie
had become a master at working her up— and she did it so fucking effortlessly. Honestly, it drove
Shauna legitimately crazy; Shauna was so used to Jackie having control over her and their
friendship, but it never felt quite like this. So, she swallows thickly, attempting to feign casualness
as she continues. “It’s fine if you like, don’t want me to kiss you in—”

“Shipman,” Jackie resolutely states, as she begins to play with the ends of Shauna’s hair. Shauna
instinctively tightens her grip on the steering wheel as some sort of anchor; she swears it’s the only
thing keeping her grounded, right now. “This is our day to… I don’t know. Not worry about
anything, I guess,” she murmurs, fingers working through Shauna’s dark locks. “Well, besides the
dog. Obviously,” Jackie says around a sigh, and then Shauna’s peeling her eyes from the road
again— just to look at Jackie.

“Obviously,” Shauna repeats, with a wide grin matching the one on Jackie’s face. “Lulu’s about to
go on the greatest walk of her entire dog life. Maybe after today, I’ll… I don’t know. Not hate
her?”

Let it be known, Shauna Shipman is a self-proclaimed dog person. Her cousins had a golden
retriever growing up, and Shauna was so jealous of them for it. Whenever she went to their house
for some holiday or some birthday, she always spent the majority of her time there playing with
Charlie the dog— rather than her actual, human cousins. Both Shauna and her older brother spent
years practically begging for a dog of their own, and of course, they never actually got one.
Instead, they got gifted with a bunch of broken promises, a divorce, family therapy sessions, and
two separate houses. It was Shauna’s singular childhood wish to have her own dog, and of course,
her parents’ divorce managed to smash that infantile dream to smithereens too. So, as a result,
Shauna’s always had a soft spot for all kinds of dogs. She loves petting random dogs on the street,
and she loves watching them roam around the dog park near her house. It’s like she finds them all
kind of cute— regardless of their breed, shape, or size.

Well, she finds all dogs cute except for fucking Lulu. But, then again, Shauna figures that Lulu
would be best described as an annoying, yapping little rat. She’s nowhere near a dog, in any shape
or form.

Case in point: Lulu is currently commandeering their entire fucking trip to New York City, much to
Shauna’s chagrin. She and Jackie legitimately had to rush through all of the exhibits at the
Metropolitan Museum— and had to forego standing on the top of the Empire State Building— just
to make sure that Lulu got her fucking pre-lunch walk in.

Apparently, Jackie is terrified at the prospect of her psychotic Aunt Susan somehow finding out
that they didn’t follow every single one of her instructions. Besides, considering how much Lulu
barks, Shauna’s fully starting to believe that she might actually be able to communicate with her
owner. And, if that were the case, Shauna knew she would be in big trouble. She’s basically been
berating Lulu all fucking day— within her ear-sight— while Jackie’s been the dog’s fervent
defender.

“I just… don’t get why you hate her so much,” Jackie teases, gripping onto Lulu’s gem-studded
leash for dear life. “She’s really not that bad, and walking her is a good excuse to see Central
Park.”

Shauna half-heartedly nods in response, wishing that they were walking through Central Park
without having to stop every five seconds for Lulu to sniff the ground or chase after a stupid
squirrel. “Yeah, guess you’re right,” Shauna mumbles, covertly shooting Lulu the death glare.
“Besides the fact that she barked at me as soon as we entered the apartment, tried to eat my extra
pair of shoes, and decided she needed to go pee right when we were about to leave for the Empire
State Building… she’s pretty fucking great.”

“Hey, maybe it’s a good thing we couldn’t go on a tour today…” Jackie coyly states, prompting
Shauna to perk up a bit. “That just means we have to come back again. And you know what?” she
asks, and Shauna’s smiling all giddily because… how could she not? Apparently, Jackie was
already planning out little excursions for them to go on in the future; obviously, this doubled as
proof that Jackie wasn’t planning on ending their whole arrangement anytime soon. “Rutgers is so
close to here. We could like… make going to New York a weekend thing.”

And, God, if that doesn’t make Shauna’s heart squeeze. It almost makes Shauna completely forget
about the fact that Brown is still an option on the table— an option probably laying on her kitchen
table by now, to be exact.

But, again. It almost makes Shauna forget about the fact that she might end up getting into Brown
— not fully, just almost. And, the part of her that remembers wins out, because a violent shiver
wracks through her body in response to Jackie’s words.

Jackie must notice, because then she’s reaching for Shauna’s hand with her free hand and rubbing
her thumb reassuringly over the back of it. Then she’s looking up at Shauna all concerned, pulling
them both— and fucking Lulu— to a complete stop. “You okay?” she asks, voice laced with
concern. “Fuck. Did I just like… totally freak you out?” Jackie nervously rambles, dropping
Shauna’s hand— just to brush a piece of Shauna’s hair out of her face. “I didn’t mean— didn’t
mean to like, make it feel like I was locking you down or—”

Shauna decides that she simply can’t listen to this— especially when the idea of Jackie “locking
her down” was like, a dream come true. So, rather than letting her dream die out by allowing
Jackie to actually explain what she meant, Shauna closes her eyes and shuts Jackie up with a kiss.

And, initially, Shauna thinks that maybe she’s made a big fucking mistake. She should’ve known
that Jackie still wouldn’t be all that confident about kissing in public— even after her whole
“ground-rule-free New York trip” tirade in the car earlier. Because, well. Jackie makes no effort to
move her lips, so Shauna doesn’t even try to deepen the kiss further. Instead, Shauna opts to pull
away fairly quickly; she also cracks her eyes open rather reluctantly, finding herself a bit nervous
over how Jackie might react.

Shauna doesn’t get much time to gauge Jackie’s reaction, though. In seconds, Jackie’s pulling her
in by the neck and slamming their mouths back together. Shauna instinctively slides her hands all
the way down Jackie’s spine, before stopping at her waist. She clutches onto Jackie’s hips for dear
life as Jackie’s tongue nudges against her mouth. Shauna swears she’s can feel her heart clattering
roughly within her ribcage as she slowly opens her mouth to Jackie and—

Fucking Lulu.

The rat dog from hell pulls on its leash, to sprint ahead— forcing Jackie to break the kiss and
reluctantly stumble after it. As soon as Shauna opens her eyes and spots what Lulu chose to wreck
her and Jackie’s kiss over, Shauna quite nearly loses her mind.
There’s Lulu, jumping all over some stereotypically attractive, college-aged guy in a Columbia
sweatshirt. He’s kneeling down on the ground to pet her and is already excitedly chatting with
Jackie, matching smiles on both of their faces. Of fucking course.

Shauna reluctantly trudges over towards the trio from hell, desperately attempting to hide her scowl
as she inches closer and closer— hearing bits and pieces of their conversation.

It makes Shauna’s stomach completely drop, in a way that legitimately pulverizes all of the
butterflies flying in it during her and Jackie’s kiss.

“So you’re both from Jersey?” Columbia guy asks, prompting a quick head nod from Jackie. “Oh,
Jersey girls are the best. My sister’s girlfriend is from Colt’s Neck. She’s awesome and really good
at beer—”

“Hey!” Jackie cheerily states to Shauna, as she finally sidles up beside Jackie. Columbia guy looks
up and offers her a grin, before focusing his eyes downward— watching Lulu as he rubs her ears.
“So, this is…” she trails off, gesturing a hand at the guy.

“Josh,” he breezily replies, glancing back up— with a cocky grin plastered on his tan face. Of
course, yet another J-name guy who looks like he was made just for Jackie to swoon over. “And
you are?” Josh asks, extending a hand. Jackie firmly shakes it, while Shauna all but seethes at the
sight.

“Jackie,” she confidently states, before dropping his hand. “And this is Shauna,” she adds,
gesturing to Shauna with a smile on her face. “And uh… well, that’s Lulu,” she bitterly mumbles,
waving her hand indifferently in the dog’s general direction.

“Lulu,” he states, combing his fingers through the fur on Lulu’s head. “She’s so energetic. Makes
me want to force my roommates to get a dog… just so we always have something to do,” Josh
adds, scratching near Lulu’s tail. He literally looks and sounds like a carbon copy of Jeff— well,
besides the presumed fact that he is actually smart and actually does go to Columbia— and it
makes Shauna want to hurl.

“You can have her then,” Shauna bitterly declares under her breath, prompting a light shoulder
nudge and a quiet giggle from Jackie.

“What?” Josh dubiously asks, glancing between Jackie and Shauna with a stupid lopsided grin on
his face.

“Nothing, she was just joking…” Jackie quickly supplies, gazing over at Shauna with a smile on
her face. “Shauna and Lulu don’t really mix all that well,” she states, and Shauna swears she might
deck Josh if granted the opportunity. Of course, Jackie is attracted to some random guy who her
Aunt’s stupid rat dog actually likes. And, not just any random guy. A random guy with a J-name,
who goes to an Ivy League school, and is apparently a dog-whisperer.

“Well, she’s really cute,” Josh firmly states, patting Lulu on the head one last time— right before
standing up. Shauna can literally feel her blood simmering as she realizes how fucking tall he is in
comparison to both her and Jackie. “And you guys are a really cute couple, thanks for letting me
pet her,” Josh states, smiling between the both of them.

Shauna’s eyes instinctively widen, as she stares between Josh and Jackie in complete and utter
confusion. Was he not flirting with Jackie? Was she not flirting with him? Why did he think they
were a couple— like, an actual couple? It didn’t make sense, and Shauna knew that Jackie would
undoubtedly correct him. She knew that there was no way Jackie would ever let this cute guy get
the wrong impression of her. So, Shauna attempts to beat Jackie to the punch, in an attempt to
protect her own dignity. “Well, we’re not actually—”

“Yeah, of course!” Jackie basically hums, linking her arm with Shauna’s. The darker-haired girl
turns to gawk at her, even as Jackie leans in closer to her. It was almost like Jackie didn’t even
want to correct him, which confused Shauna even more. “Have a good one!” she adds, as Josh
begins striding away.

“You too!” he calls after them, before getting sucked into the mass of people gallivanting around
Central Park. Shauna just watches him as he disappears, attempting to dissect what exactly just
happened.

But then Jackie’s unlinking their arms, just to reach for her hand again. “Alright, Shipman,” she
murmurs, tugging at her hand all impatiently. Shauna finally tears her eyes away from where Josh
disappeared, turning her attention toward Jackie. She smiles brightly at Shauna in return, before
licking her lips. “Let’s go back to the apartment and drop this bitch off…” she murmurs, before
leaning in to whisper the rest in Shauna’s ear. “And while we’re there we can finish what we
started before she… interrupted,” she whispers, then pulls back.

Jackie’s words, and the smirk now playing on her lips, have Shauna’s blood simmering all over
again— but, this time, it’s in a good way. So, in a matter of seconds, the only thought in Shauna’s
brain is how they’re going to get back to Jackie’s Aunt’s apartment as soon as humanly possible.

She refuses to think about Josh or the implications of what just happened anymore. Shauna figures
that Jackie probably just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible, and not spend any extra
time explaining their incredibly confusing situation to a literal stranger.

Besides, they only have like… an hour or two left in the city. It’s not like Shauna wants to spend
the rest of their time grilling Jackie on her behavior, or why she didn’t feel the need to correct Josh.
Plus, there are way more pressing matters to attend to. And for Shauna, they all revolve around
making Jackie happy… not the fucking dog.

The door of Aunt Susan’s apartment slams shut loudly behind them as they stumble inside,
entering in a messy tangle of limbs and lips. They slip off their shoes as Jackie unceremoniously
drops the dog’s leash to the floor; it’s almost like the dog is suddenly an afterthought, which
Shauna definitely does not mind. If Jackie were to worry about hanging the leash back up and
situating Lulu back in her bed, they would be required to break their kiss— and Shauna was totally
not in the mood to do that for the fucking dog, again.

“Guest bedroom,” Jackie manages between kisses, prompting a shaky nod out of Shauna. The hand
Jackie has threading through Shauna’s hair tightens as she steers them in the direction of the
bedroom door. Jackie blindly walks them backward until Shauna feels her back hit the door, the
brass knob jabbing uncomfortably into her lower back. She must wince or something, because then
Jackie’s frantically pulling away and smoothing her hair down instead of pulling at it. “Shit. Sorry
did I—”

“No, Jackie. I’m— I’m fine. More than fine,” Shauna mumbles, reaching behind her to grab the
doorknob. Jackie smiles and then immediately reconnects their lips, frantically fisting both her
hands into Shauna’s hair. Somehow, Shauna manages to twist the knob and lean backward,
popping open the bedroom door without having to separate herself from Jackie all that much. She
quickly grasps Jackie’s hips with both her hands, tugging Jackie with her as she shuffles backward.

Jackie willingly follows, kicking the door shut behind them as Shauna pulls her toward the queen-
sized bed. As soon as she feels the backs of her legs hit it, Shauna allows herself to flop back onto
the mattress— dragging Jackie down on top of her.

If Jackie had any issues with the way things were progressing, she definitely didn’t actually make
them known. She’s leaning down to kiss Shauna feverishly, and is quickly shifting to straddle one
of Shauna’s thighs. Shauna instinctively sits up, moving her lips from Jackie’s mouth to her neck.
Her hands drift higher up Jackie’s thin frame of their own accord, slipping beneath the thick fabric
of her striped, Polo crewneck.

As soon as Shauna begins tracing circles over one of Jackie’s hipbones with her thumb, Jackie’s
grinding down hard against the thigh between her legs. Jackie leans her head forward— sticking
her head into the crook between Shauna’s neck and shoulder— and Shauna desperately tries to
hold onto the small bit of self-control she has left as Jackie pants practically right into her ear.

Shauna focuses all her attention on Jackie’s neck, kissing it roughly— but lightly enough that
there’s no possibility for any hickeys— in an attempt to distract herself from the way her head is
currently spinning. She stops drawing shapes above Jackie’s hipbone and drags her fingertips up
and down the sides of her ribs, relishing in the strangled groan that escapes Jackie’s mouth.

“Shauna,” Jackie pants, right into her ear— sounding absolutely wrecked. She fists her hands
deeper into Shauna’s hair, holding onto it like it’s a lifeline. “I need—” Jackie trails off, gasping
into Shauna’s neck as she rolls her hips harder against Shauna’s thigh. “I want you to touch me.
Really bad. Please,” she whines, as Shauna cranes her neck back— just to get a good look at her.

“I thought— what about the whole ‘cheating on Jeff’ thing,” Shauna practically rasps, staring at
Jackie’s flushed cheeks. “You said we couldn’t because—”

“I know what I said… but it wasn’t— it wasn’t because of that,” Jackie breathlessly states,
prompting Shauna to raise an eyebrow at her. “It’s just... whenever Jeff and I do that…” she trails
off, looking past Shauna like she’s all embarrassed. “It like, hurts. A lot. So I like… actively avoid
doing it,” Jackie says, with a grimace. Shauna swears the words tug right at her heartstrings; she
unfortunately knows, from personal experience, how bad Jeff is at sex-related things. “But I— I
want to try it. With— with you. Just to see if… if maybe—”

“Ok,” Shauna firmly states, shifting both of her hands up— just to cup Jackie’s face. She uses her
hold on Jackie’s jaw to move her head, forcing Jackie’s eyes back onto hers. “Yeah, ok. We can—
we can try it,” Shauna repeats, provoking a smile to formulate on Jackie’s lips. “But if it starts to
hurt you have to tell me as soon as—”

Jackie cuts her off with a firm kiss, then pulls away to tug her crewneck over her head. Shauna
instinctively reaches out and clumsily paws at Jackie’s bra-clad breasts. She doesn’t say anything,
just jolts forward a bit on Shauna’s thigh and whines in the back of her throat. Shauna takes it as a
good sign, removing her hands from Jackie’s breasts to wrap them around her back. She
confidently reaches for the clasp, completely ready to undo Jackie’s bra, until Jackie’s pushing a
hand roughly against Shauna’s own chest.

Shauna instantly freezes, tearing her eyes away from Jackie’s floral bra to meet her gaze.
“Underwear stays on… because um. Boundaries,” Jackie weakly states, and Shauna obediently
nods her head. She doesn’t want to make Jackie uncomfortable, and she doesn’t want to ruin this
before it even begins. So, she unfurls her arms from around Jackie’s frame, and pulls her own shirt
over her head.

Jackie unabashedly rakes her eyes over Shauna’s chest, before clambering out of Shauna’s lap and
moving higher up the mattress. She leans against the pillows and lifts her hips up, moving to
unbutton her pants and slide them down her legs.

“Here, let me do it,” Shauna hears herself saying, before she even realizes that she’s saying it.
Jackie just smirks at her and freezes— almost like this is exactly what she wanted to happen— as
Shauna shifts closer to her and bats her hand away. “And you’re sure about this,” Shauna says, as
she unclasps the button of Jackie’s jeans. “We can— we can stop if you want to,” she adds,
unzipping the zipper before slowly dragging the pants down Jackie’s legs.

Jackie bites her lip as Shauna pulls them completely off, smirking a little as she watches Shauna
struggle to tear her eyes away from the matching, floral pair of panties she’s wearing. “I don’t
wanna stop,” she whispers, pulling Shauna back in by the back of her neck— and slamming their
lips back together.

Shauna instinctively leans her weight against her elbow for balance— fearful that she might fall on
top of Jackie— as Jackie licks into Shauna’s mouth. Shauna pulls away a bit— nose still nudging
Jackie’s own— as she cautiously runs a hand up Jackie’s bare thigh. “You’re… you’re sure?”
Shauna asks on a swallow, inching closer and closer to the edge of Jackie’s underwear. “It’s not— I
won’t be mad if you want to stop,” Shauna murmurs, fingertips finally meeting the fabric’s edge.

She can feel Jackie let out a puff of warm air against her lips, and Shauna swears she can feel her
heart rattling around in its cage. Honestly, at this point, she can legitimately hear it reverberating
within her own eardrums. “I’m sure,” Jackie says after a moment, bucking her hips up into
Shauna’s hips for emphasis. “Touch me," she practically begs, and Shauna instantly complies.

Shauna inches her fingers further up, tentatively grazing her thumb over the front of Jackie’s
soaked underwear. Jackie immediately gasps, and Shauna has to bury her head into the crook of
Jackie’s neck to prevent herself from saying something absolutely reckless and stupid.

“Fuck,” she allows herself to say, as she harshly rubs circles against Jackie’s underwear. Jackie
groans, pulling Shauna closer to her as she thrusts her hips up desperately— attempting to match
the rhythm of Shauna’s thumb. “Jesus— Jackie,” she adds, as Jackie’s whimpers grow louder and
her hand flies down to grab Shauna’s wrist.

Shauna instantly freezes and pulls back, thinking that she’s done something wrong. Like, maybe
she’s hurt Jackie somehow. But then Jackie’s shakily brushing a wayward hair out of her face with
her other hand, and staring at her with dark, lust-filled eyes. “You can do it— under um,” she
breathily says, cheeks blushing as she gestures toward her underwear. “If like… you want to. I
want you to, but you don’t… you don’t have to.”

“I want to,” Shauna rasps, and Jackie bites down hard on her lip at the words— almost like just
hearing them come out of Shauna’s mouth is enough to work her up. “Tell me to stop though, if—”

Shauna’s words die in her throat as Jackie uses her grip on Shauna’s wrist to guide her hand
underneath the waistband of her underwear. She and Jackie both moan as she strokes her fingers up
and down Jackie’s folds and the sound— combined with how wet Jackie is— floods Shauna’s
abdomen with warmth.

“Shauna,” Jackie whimpers, sinking her nails into Shauna’s wrist as she began to circle Jackie’s clit
with her thumb. Shauna dips her head back down, kissing roughly at Jackie’s neck as Jackie’s other
hand wound its way into Shauna’s hair. “Don’t stop,” Jackie breathily murmurs, bucking her hips
haphazardly— like she still wanted more.

“I won’t. I promise,” Shauna pants, dipping a finger inside of her. Jackie’s nails dig deeper into
Shauna’s skin, and Shauna swears if she wasn’t so drunk on lust right now she’d probably feel the
sting immensely. “I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” she hears herself saying, and fuck. Shauna’s
glad she can’t see Jackie’s face right now— glad she has her head buried in the crook between
Jackie’s neck and her shoulder— because she knows what kind of face Jackie’s probably making.
Her stupid little grimace, which Shauna’s sure will soon be accompanied by a plea for Shauna to
stop. And, honestly, maybe Shauna deserves it; she shouldn’t have been so fucking reckless with
her words, yet again.

But then Jackie’s surprising her, all over again. She makes no effort to stop Shauna, and just seems
to purposely egg her on instead. “For how long,” Jackie whispers, breaking off into a moan as
Shauna slid her finger out and right back in. “How long have you been— have you been thinking
about this?” she breathlessly asks, as Shauna circles her clit and continues sliding her finger in and
out— over and over again.

“ Since Lottie’s,” Shauna murmurs, kissing Jackie’s neck. Jackie lets out a low moan, and Shauna
seriously cannot tell whether it’s because of what she’s just said or how she’s been touching her.
Either way, it sends a spark down to Shauna’s own core, and she suddenly feels like there’s a
current of energy flowing through her body. “Maybe even before then,” she sheepishly admits,
curling her finger and dragging it along Jackie’s walls.

“Shauna,” Jackie gasps, using her grip on Shauna’s hair to force her head back up. As soon as their
eyes meet, Shauna quite nearly loses it over the pleasured expression on Jackie’s face. She’s all
flushed, mouth wide open, with a little bit of sweat at her hairline. So, Shauna decides to move her
fingers even faster, watching closely as Jackie struggled to keep her eyes open. Her hips began to
stutter out of rhythm, and Shauna could feel her tightening around her fingers. “Shauna, I—” she
practically sobs, as Shauna leans in to kiss her roughly.

Apparently, that’s what tips Jackie right over the edge. In seconds, Jackie’s whining against
Shauna’s mouth, before tearing her lips away. Her whole body stiffens as her back arches right off
of the mattress, and then a wave of shudders rolls right through her body. She clenches around
Shauna’s finger so tightly that Shauna physically can’t move— leaving her to stare down in awe
until Jackie’s breathing slowly evens out.

Shauna gently slips her finger out, propping herself up on both elbows as she waits for Jackie to
open her eyes. As soon as she does, Jackie’s immediately smiling at Shauna with the cutest, shyest
little grin Shauna’s ever seen. It makes her heart melt.

“Hi,” Jackie breathily says, sounding absolutely wrecked. Shauna smiles back at her, right before
leaning in to kiss her again. As soon as she pulls back, Jackie’s using the hand she still has in
Shauna’s hair to smooth it over. “I guess that’s what it’s supposed to feel like, huh?” she huffs out
a flustered laugh, face blushing all over again.

“What is?” Shauna asks, as Jackie unwinds her hand from Shauna’s hair and begins to trace one of
her fingertips over Shauna’s features.

“You know… that,” Jackie murmurs, running her finger over the ridge of Shauna’s nose. “I’ve
never… with Jeff. Not once,” she adds, and Shauna can’t help but grin. Oh. Apparently, Jeff really
is bad at everything sex-related. When Shauna slept with him, she figured that he had to be good at
something to keep Jackie on the hook. But, evidently, Jeff wasn’t skillful in any sex department.
He wasn’t good for anything. “Usually he um… I don’t know. Just like… jabs his fingers in. I
guess,” she mumbles, a little sheepish. It makes Shauna glow with pride— the fact that she was
able to get Jackie there— but it also leaves her feeling a bit more confused. Why the fuck would
she stay with him, if he never took the time to make her feel good?

Shauna wants to ask that question aloud, but unfortunately isn't granted the opportunity to; before
she can, Jackie immediately rolls them over so that she’s on top. Jackie props herself up on both of
her elbows, staring down at Shauna with a bright smile on her face. She leans in closer, so close
that her heart necklace and light-brown hair dangle right in Shauna’s face. And then she’s pressing
a light kiss to Shauna’s lips, pulling back so abruptly that Shauna can’t help but chase after her.

Jackie looks down at her with a dark expression on her face, biting her lip as she trails a hand
downward. Shauna freezes as soon as she feels Jackie’s fingertips on the button of her jeans, and
instinctively grasps Jackie’s wrist before she can pop it open. The lighter-haired girl’s face
immediately softens, as she gazes at Shauna with a mixture of confusion and hurt in her eyes.

“Do you— do you not want me to?” Jackie asks, voice suddenly so small. God, of course, Shauna
wants her to. Shauna just— Shauna just doesn’t want to be anything like Jeff. She doesn’t want to
force Jackie to do something, just because Jackie knows it’ll make Shauna happy.

“No, Jackie… trust me. I really, really do,” Shauna admits, and Jackie’s smirking all devilishly at
her again. Fuck. “But I— I don’t want you to think this is like… transactional,” Shauna murmurs,
and then Jackie’s looking at her in both awe and adoration— like Shauna’s just said some kind of
magic set of words. “If you don’t want to, you don’t have to. I um… I did that for you because I
wanted to, too. You don’t have to do it for me, just because I did it for—”

“I want to,” Jackie firmly states, prompting Shauna to bite back the whimper threatening to spill
from her lips. Then Jackie’s staring at Shauna with twinkling eyes as she unbuttons her pants, and
slowly drags them down her legs. “I want to make you feel good too, Shauna,” she adds, and
Shauna swears she might pass out if Jackie doesn’t stop talking like this.

Thankfully, Jackie moves pretty fucking fast. She stops talking, and immediately skims her
fingertips against the waistband of Shauna’s underwear. Jackie glances up at Shauna for
permission to slide her hand inside, and Shauna gives it to her by vehemently bobbing her head.

As soon as she feels Jackie’s fingertips press against her, Shauna knows she isn’t going to last very
long. She was already on edge after touching Jackie and watching Jackie, so Shauna knows it isn’t
going to take as much build-up to push her over— unlike with Jackie.

So, as soon as Jackie brushes a thumb against her clit, Shauna voices words of encouragement and
thrusts her hips up to meet the rhythm of Jackie’s rubbing. “Just like that,” Shauna groans, as
Jackie presses down harder and begins to move her thumb in a circular motion. “Fuck, Jax. Just
like that,” she moans, as Jackie leans in to roughly kiss her on the lips.

Jackie doesn’t stop kissing her, even as she slips in a finger— sliding it in and out, like Shauna did
to her earlier. Shauna bucks her hips up to meet her thrusts, moaning against Jackie’s mouth as she
feels the knot in her abdomen loosen and loosen.

Then Jackie’s pulling away from her lips, just to whisper in Shauna’s ear. “I love you, Shauna…
you’re the bestest friend I’ve ever had.”

It’s not the way Shauna wants Jackie to love her, but hearing the first part of that sentence manages
to push Shauna right over the edge in seconds. She lets out a guttural moan as her hand flies down
to grab Jackie’s wrist, halting her from continuing with her ministrations. Shauna swears she sees
stars behind her eyelids as they close of their own accord, and her entire bone integrity melts down
into goo once a violent wave of shivers wracks through her entire body.

She keeps her eyes closed as she focuses on slowing down her erratic breathing, feeling Jackie pull
her finger out of her as she does so. As soon as she begins to feel a little less breathless, she cracks
her eyes open— finding Jackie staring down at her, with a nervous smile on her face.
“Was that okay?” Jackie tentatively asks, worrying her lip between her teeth. Shauna thinks she
might be the cutest person ever.

“More than okay, Jax,” Shauna confidently murmurs, spurring a bright smile to develop on
Jackie’s face. She then leans in to press a quick kiss to Shauna’s lips, before flopping down onto
the empty expanse of the mattress— beside Shauna. “It was really good,” Shauna adds, shifting
onto her side. She mirrors Jackie’s position— tucking a hand beneath her cheek to study Jackie’s
face.

“Good…” Jackie murmurs, breaking off into a little yawn. She shifts a bit forward, wrapping an
arm around Shauna’s stomach and placing her head on Shauna’s shoulder— preventing Shauna
from seeing her face. “But it's not like you have anything to compare it to… no guys have
disappointed you, yet,” Jackie absently murmurs, and Shauna fights the urge to shiver. Oh, if only
Jackie knew.

Shauna could confidently say that Jackie was about four hundred times better in the sack than Jeff
was. And, honestly, the fact that Shauna knew how both halves of Wisayok’s golden couple
performed in bed made her physically sick. Jeff’s less than five minutes of bullshit foreplay right
before they fucked in a cramped car definitely did not compare to that experience with Jackie, in
any shape or form. God, why couldn’t she have waited before doing something so fucking stupid?

“What are you thinking about?” Jackie murmurs, stroking the back of Shauna’s head before kissing
the side of it. Shauna swears it’s a miracle Jackie can’t see her guilt-ridden face right now. “You’re
so quiet.”

“Just that…” Shauna says, running her fingers along the expanse of bare skin on Jackie’s back. She
smiles a bit at the goosebumps that arise underneath her fingertips. “Instead of going out again,
maybe we could just… stay here? We can just nap for an hour, then head home. I think I’m a little
too tired to do more sightseeing, and your aunt won’t be home for a bit longer.”

“Perfect,” Jackie whispers, and Shauna can feel her nodding against her shoulder. “Always so
smart,” she hums, somehow pressing her body even closer to Shauna’s. “Goodnight, Shipman. See
you behind the wheel in an hour,” Jackie mumbles, and Shauna can’t help but giggle.

“Goodnight, Jax,” Shauna murmurs, rubbing her fingers down Jackie’s spine.

Shauna closes her brown eyes, and dreams that she ends up re-awakening in a world where the Jeff
thing never happened.

By the time Shauna arrives back at her house, the sun has almost completely set. So, she enters her
house with a bright smile on her face, reliving the whole memory of being with Jackie all over
again. Her mom was surely at work by now— she was on the night shift this week, attempting to
make some extra cash to put aside for Shauna’s impending college bills— so it wasn’t like anyone
was going to catch Shauna smiling like a goddamn clown at the Ringling Circus.

“How was New York? Did you and Jackie have fun?” rings the telltale voice of her mother, as soon
as she shuts the front door closed with a loud thud.

Well, scratch that.

Shauna saunters into the kitchen, attempting to conceal the wide smile on her face— to absolutely
no avail. Her mother sits at the kitchen table in her scrubs, bouncing her knee and holding two
envelopes in her hand. Fuck.
“I assume it was fun… based on how smiley you are,” she says, prompting Shauna to nod. Her
mom immediately relaxes a bit, allowing her shoulders to drop. “That’s great, sweetie. You know,
it really was nice of Jackie’s Aunt to let you guys use her apartment for the day.”

“Yeah,” Shauna murmurs, sidling up beside her mother— at the kitchen table. “So, are those my
—”

“College letters? Yes. The mail guy just delivered them… about an hour ago,” her Mom states,
handing the letters to Shauna. “I didn’t want you to get home and have to open them without me,
so I told Doctor Ryan that I’d be a little late to my—”

“Hey, Mom. It’s ok, I can open them by myself,” Shauna firmly states, rubbing at her mom’s
shoulder. Her mom just looks up at her from her seat at the table, all gratified. “My guidance
counselor says I’m a shoo-in for Rutgers… I’m not really that worried about it. You should… head
to work. I don’t want you to get in trouble, or something.”

“Are you sure? What about your letter from—”

“Brown was a reach… and kind of an afterthought. I know I’m going to get into Rutgers, and I
want to go to Rutgers,” Shauna confidently states, although her mom looks a bit unconvinced.
“Seriously, Mom. I’m totally fine.”

“Ok…” her Mom mumbles, standing up from her seat. “But if you need anything or get upset by
anything in either of those envelopes, you call the office. Alright?”

Shauna obediently nods, gives her mom a tight hug, then waves at her as she bustles out the front
door.

It isn’t until her mom’s car has completely disappeared down the street that Shauna’s delving her
black-painted fingernails under the flap of her envelope from Rutgers. She tears it open so fast that
she swears she probably looks like a kid on Christmas, pulling the white piece of paper out with
equal parts terror and excitement.

She unfolds it haphazardly, skimming over the first line without much mental strain. As soon as
her eyes land on the word, “congratulations,” Shauna grins. She immediately shoves the letter
right back into its envelope, trying to contain her excitement. It wasn’t like she needed to read
anything else after that. She was in. She was a future Scarlet Knight. Shauna and Jackie were going
to go to Rutgers together and be roommates— without a doubt. There was no way in hell that
Jackie wasn’t going to get into a state school, especially with her double-legacy status.

So, Shauna suddenly feels the urge to call Jackie, in order to break the big news to her. Jackie’s big
college dreams and plans— the ones that she created for both of them— were about to come to
fruition. They’d spend weekends frolicking around in New York, going to frat parties, and teaming
up to play club soccer. It was perfect.

But then, Shauna remembers the other envelope. The one from Brown, that she nonchalantly
tossed back onto her kitchen table as she practically ran her mother out the front door. Fuck.

She creeps back into the kitchen— gripping onto the Rutgers envelope for dear life— as she plops
down into a seat at her kitchen table. With shaky hands, she drops the Rutgers envelope down and
scoops up the envelope from Brown. Shauna swears that it must be on fire or something, because
she can feel her hands burning and tingling as she hesitantly rips open the flap.

She closes her eyes as she pulls out the folded, white piece of paper nestled within the envelope—
 opening them once she manages to unfurl it. As soon as her eyes readjust and focus on the paper,
Shauna feels her stomach drop. She blinks a few times, hoping— no, praying— that she is
misreading the words typed onto that thick piece of paper. But, no matter how many times she
closes her eyes and reopens them, the opening sentence doesn’t change.

Dear Ms. Shipman,

Congratulations! On behalf of the Admissions Committee, we are delighted to inform

you that you have been admitted to Brown University's Class of 2000.

Shauna lets out a guttural scream, and it is so loud that Shauna swears that all of the residents of
New York City— particularly Lulu, Aunt Susan, and Josh— can hear her from her kitchen in
Wiskayok, New Jersey.

Chapter End Notes

gonna submerge myself w holy water after this one but next chap: Shauna commits to
brown and feels guilty af about it, so she avoids jackie who flips out :// also shauna is
finally forced to talk to jeff about their whole thing.
 close encounters of the taylor kind
Chapter Summary

Jackie looks at her in complete and utter confusion, almost like Shauna’s suddenly lost
her mind. She shrugs Shauna’s hand right off of her, and narrows her eyes at Shauna in
clear bafflement. “Um… ok? Why are you fucking yelling all of a sudden?” Jackie
questions, crossing her arms firmly over her chest. Shauna says nothing, clenching her
hands into fists at her sides. Jeff really better have jumped out of her fucking window
by now. “Alright. You know what? I’m just gonna come out and say it. I just feel like
you regret what we did in New—”

A loud thud suddenly rings from outside, followed by a quick spurt of rustling noises.
Shauna winces, knowing damn well that Jeff’s probably taken out her mother’s newest
addition to her little garden. Oh well.

Or: After committing to Brown, Shauna ignores Jackie for days out of guilt. So, when
Shauna accidentally skips school, Jackie shows up at Shauna's house all worried—
resulting in a really close call.

Chapter Notes

Shauna's real messy in this one fair warning. love her to death but my girl be making
mistake after mistake smh.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

May 1st, 1996

If someone were to approach Shauna during her freshman year of high school and ask her where
she’d end up going to college, the words "Rutgers University” would fly right off of her tongue in
seconds. Fast-forward three years to Shauna’s senior year and the answer was still the same:
Rutgers University. It was practically a no-brainer; Rutgers was, and always would be, her only
viable option.

Sure, Shauna knows that it isn’t necessarily prestigious or impressive to stay in-state for college,
especially when she has the grades and scores to go elsewhere. But, Shauna knows that it is all her
parents can afford. Besides, Rutgers is definitely the best option in New Jersey. It is a way better
school than Montclair fucking State— which is where her brother, Matt, had basically majored in
binge drinking. Plus, Rutgers would have something that all the other schools wouldn’t be able to
offer Shauna; they’d have double-legacy and Scarlet Knight-enthusiast, Jackie Taylor.

But, well. Apparently, little baby freshman Shauna was completely oblivious to these two things
called financial aid and scholarships. And now, senior Shauna got to suffer the consequences of
her own cluelessness. Shauna had applied to Brown on a whim, after being spurred on by the
support of her overzealous guidance counselor and her incredible SAT scores. She had applied to
Brown when she was still bitter over the prospect of being trapped in New Jersey, spending the rest
of her sordid life rotting away in Wiskayok. It was a last-ditch, make-shift effort to escape the fate
that she initially did not want; one final, desperate stand against homecoming queen Jackie
Taylor’s agenda and authority.

However, Shauna suddenly wants to stay in New Jersey, just to be with Jackie. Initially, Shauna
found the college plans Jackie had meticulously created for the both of them absolutely stifling. It
was like Jackie had planned out Shauna’s entire life so that it would revolve completely around
Jackie’s own, and it left Shauna feeling so resentful. But now, Shauna is more than thrilled at the
idea of a combined college experience and a shared future with Jackie. Like, did it really matter if
she was meant for better things— meant for greater things outside of Wiskayok, New Jersey— if
Jackie wasn’t there beside her?

Shauna might have thought being with Jackie was more important than going to Brown, but
evidently, her parents sure fucking didn’t. And, unfortunately for Shauna, she wasn’t the only party
involved in the college decision process. Her parents were bankrolling the whole endeavor, so of
course, they got their say. Well, they honestly wouldn’t even have to bankroll Shauna’s college
education all that much; the scholarship Brown had offered her lowered her tuition costs to an
extreme, making it just slightly more expensive than Rutgers.

And, that’s why Shauna would be a Brown Bear come next fall— not a Scarlet fucking Knight. She
would be receiving an Ivy League education, for only a couple grand more than a Rutgers
education.

Of course, to make matters worse, Shauna has no idea how to make that fact known to Jackie. She
didn’t even know that Shauna was applying to other schools besides Rutgers— let alone putting a
deposit down on a school in Providence, Rhode Island.

And, legitimately two hours after they got home from New York, Jackie rushed her ass over to the
Shipman residence to wave her Rutgers acceptance letter in Shauna’s face. Then Shauna showed
Jackie hers, which led to Jackie squeezing her so tightly that Shauna felt like she might explode
into a pile of blood, guts, and… lies. Like, Jackie was so fucking thrilled that she legitimately
looked like a kid visiting Disney World for the first time. How the fuck could she break her heart,
then and there?

So, instead, Shauna decides to keep her mouth shut. There was no way that she was going to allow
the fact that she wasn’t going to college in New fucking Brunswick to destroy their entire
friendship… and situation. She swears she’ll tell Jackie eventually, but for now, she’ll add it to the
long list of lies she’s told Jackie over the last couple of months. Right under the Jeff thing, the
Mono thing, and the whole hooking up with no feelings thing. God, her conscience is practically
crumbling at this point.

And, just to avoid losing Jackie completely, Shauna determines that the best course of action is to
just pretend like she’s going to Rutgers for as long as possible. She’ll continue to lie, and say she
put her deposit down at Rutgers instead of at Brown. Jackie will go on and on about the color
palette for their dorm room and Shauna will just nod along, pretending like they are actually
rooming together— at the same school. And then, right before summer hits, Shauna will announce
that a waitlist spot at Brown opened up. Jackie would totally understand and support Shauna’s
decision to go to an Ivy League school, as long as Shauna made it apparent that it wasn’t her goal
to ditch Jackie… wouldn’t she?

Besides, Shauna’s been actively dodging Jackie as much as possible for the past few days…and
she knows Jackie must find her behavior suspicious by now. Lying to Jackie’s face was much more
ethical than completely avoiding her out of guilt… right?
Well, instead of allowing her mind to spiral over the excruciatingly obvious answer to that horrific
question, Shauna finally decides to force herself to go to sleep. The alarm clock radio on her
neighboring nightstand reads "2:00 AM," so it’s not like she has to be up for another five hours.
Besides, Shauna recognizes that she definitely needs her rest— especially if she plans on ditching
her current strategy of avoiding Jackie. She knows— from previous experience— that it is going to
take a shit-ton of willpower and energy to lie straight to Jackie’s pretty face… yet again.

So, after spending what feels like years staring up at her attic ceiling and agonizing over the twisty
feeling in the pit of her stomach, Shauna shuts her eyes. Maybe five hours of sleep and self-
reflection will make her feel less like an absolute traitor.

Unfortunately for Shauna and her guilty conscience, she doesn’t actually make it to the five-hour
mark. She only manages to squeeze two fitful hours of restless sleep into her lie-filled schedule,
before the sound of a fist banging heavily against her front door wakes her up. Considering how
lightly she was sleeping, Shauna initially doesn’t find herself all that annoyed or grumpy over
being woken up so abruptly.

So, she cracks a single eye open and props herself up on her elbow, just to sneak a glance out the
window. Shauna expects to see the glimmer of spring daylight outside— figures her mom decided
not to sleep in late at her new boyfriend’s house and must have forgotten a key again— but all
she’s met with is pitch black darkness. Weird.

Shauna gazes over at her alarm clock, blinking a bit to allow her drooping eyes to readjust to the
darkness. Her mom never comes home from her boyfriend’s earlier than six o’clock in the
morning, so that’s the time Shauna expects to see glaring back at her. But, nope. The red LED
numbers on the display read: “4:24 A.M.”

Before Shauna can even really register how odd this whole situation is, she hears an extremely
familiar male voice full-on screeching her name. He is so fucking loud that Shauna can hear him
on the front porch, even from her bed all the way up in the attic. God, she legitimately cannot
believe that her life has come to this. The owner of the voice coming from her porch— the person
standing on her doorstep and knocking at the literal ass-crack of dawn— was Jeff fucking Sadecki.

As soon as she recognizes who it is, Shauna groans and buries her head in her pillow; honestly, a
sick part of her hopes that maybe she’ll accidentally smother herself to death, just so that she
doesn’t have to deal with Jeff. Like, seriously? Why the fuck is Jeff at her house, while it’s pitch
black outside? Why the fuck would he even be at Shauna’s house, in the first place?

Although Shauna really did not want to deal with Jeff’s bullshit at four o’clock in the morning— or
legitimately at all, honestly— she begrudgingly pulls herself out of bed. As she makes her way
down the rungs of the attic ladder and toward her front door, Shauna decides that she deserves the
neighbor of the year award for putting up with this bullshit.

Even though Shauna knows what she is doing is for the greater good of the entire neighborhood,
she is obviously still extremely irritated as she places a trembling hand on the doorknob. She really
cannot believe that Jeff has the audacity to wake her up this fucking early in the morning; honestly,
Shauna also just cannot believe that he has the nerve to show up at her house at all, especially after
what they did to Jackie. Like, Jeff showing up at her house uninvited— while it’s still pitch fucking
black outside— makes Shauna feel even guiltier. It’s like they’re sneaking around behind Jackie’s
back, all over again. And, Shauna refuses to ever make that mistake again.

But, as soon as Shauna reluctantly whips open the front door, all of her annoyance and irritation
towards Jeff practically vanishes in the blink of an eye. She swears he probably looks even more
sleep-deprived and disheveled than she presumably does; his dirty-blonde hair is sticking up
haphazardly and there are deep, dark shadows beneath his red-rimmed eyelids. So, Shauna can’t
help but feel a little bit sympathetic, even if he interrupted her sleep.

“Hey,” Jeff quietly mumbles, with a faint, apologetic smile on his lips. “I um… can I come in, real
quick? I just… I think we need to talk,” he adds, sounding a bit desperate. Part of Shauna wants to
say no, there’s absolutely no reason for us to talk, especially not right now. But, instead, she opens
the door wider and gestures for him to enter. He graciously nods and takes the hint, shuffling
through the front door and into the living room without much hesitation.

“So, um…” she trails off, slamming the door shut without re-locking it. As soon as she twists back
around to face Jeff, she finds him surveying her living room— looking a bit dazed. “What’s so
important that you decided to come here, right now?” Shauna asks, sounding a bit bitchier than she
intended to. “You do realize what time it is… right? People are still asleep, and if my mom wasn’t
still at her boyfriend’s, I’d be so—”

“Did something happen in New York?” Jeff bluntly asks, prompting Shauna’s mouth to snap
closed in an instant. He runs one of his shaky hands through his tousled hair, and shoves the other
one into the front pocket of his faded jeans. Shauna roughly swallows, desperately attempting to
ignore the newly-formed lump in her throat. She really doesn’t know what he’s alluding to exactly
— like, Shauna obviously knows it could be a number of things— so she just blankly stares at him.
Thankfully, Jeff doesn’t wait long to fill her in on what he thinks happened in New York, though.
“Shauna, when you guys… when you went to New York. Did you… did you tell Jackie about what
we—”

“No,” Shauna deadpans, crossing her arms over her chest. “No, why…” she trails off, watching
intently as Jeff covered his face with his hands. Literally, what the fuck was going on? Like,
obviously she would never tell Jackie about the whole sleeping with Jeff thing… at least, definitely
not willingly. So, of course, Shauna is suddenly more confused than ever. “Why would you even
think that?” she questions, sucking in a shaky breath. “Seriously? Why the fuck would I choose to
tell Jackie, my best friend in the whole world, that I slept with her boy—”

“She dumped me last night,” Jeff flatly states, pulling his hands off of his face— to reveal bright
red skin underneath. What? “It was out of nowhere. She said she needed to take a ‘break’ to focus
on soccer,” he adds, looking down at the floor in clear embarrassment. “I just… I thought maybe
you told her. But, if it’s not that, then—”

“Wait,” Shauna abruptly declares, brows furrowed in confusion. Jeff immediately shuts up, gazing
at Shauna with glassy eyes. He slumps his shoulders a bit in defeat, and Shauna can’t help but
like… kind of feel bad for him? “She dumped you? Last night?” she asks, unable to believe the
words that just spilled directly out of his mouth.

“Yeah… she um. She was really weird about it,” Jeff murmurs, running a shaky hand over his jaw.
Shauna impatiently gestures for him to continue, prompting a deep sigh to escape from Jeff’s lips.
“Well, Jackie just… Jackie just showed up at my house last night. Like, without calling or
anything. And then she basically said that our relationship was a distraction… and that she needed
to focus all of her free time on getting the team to Nationals.” He pauses to fidget a bit, swaying
uneasily on his heels. “It was just… completely out of nowhere. I thought things were going well
this time around, you know?” Jeff announces, prompting Shauna to bite back a snicker.

Like, totally. Jeff and Jackie’s one-hundredth relationship attempt was going so well. He cheated
on Jackie with her best friend, but this time was totally different. Things were really going great in
their relationship, with Jackie literally avoiding him like the fucking plague and complaining about
how bad at sex he is. God, he was so fucking clueless. And, honestly, Shauna can’t help but get
just a bit irritated that he woke her ass up for this. It wasn’t even like they were permanently
breaking up; Jackie had apparently decided to put their relationship on hold, just for a little bit. So,
Jeff basically came over with his guns blazing, accusing Shauna of breaking him and Jackie up…
even though they weren’t actually broken up.

“Ok, so let me get this straight. You didn’t want to believe your girlfriend would choose soccer
over you…” Shauna spits, prompting Jeff to hesitantly nod his head. “So you… so you tried to
place the blame on me?” She clenches her jaw, but somehow manages to keep her voice consistent,
even as she continues on. “You woke me up at the ass crack of dawn, to accuse me of telling
Jackie that we slept together? In what world would I do that? You do realize I’d be fucking myself
over too, if I—”

“That’s not— that’s not the only reason I came over here,” Jeff shakily declares, looking past
Shauna with glazed-over eyes. “You’re her best friend, and you know her better than anyone, so
um…” Jeff trails off, before finally meeting her gaze again. “Do you think there’s somebody else?
Do you— do you know if there’s somebody else?” Oh no.

“No… no,” Shauna manages to choke out, tightening the arms she has over her chest. She stiffens,
posture going absolutely rigid, under Jeff’s intense gaze. “I um— of course not. Why would you…
why would you think—”

“Because she had like…” Jeff trails off, gesturing to his neck. “This huge fucking mark on her
neck,” he huffs, prompting Shauna’s entire body to tense up even more. Fuck. “She said it was
from a curling iron but…I don’t know girl shit. I don’t know how curling irons work. And it
looked a lot like a fucking hickey to me,” Jeff rambles on, and Shauna swears she must be
drenched in sweat— that’s how scorching hot she suddenly feels. “Was it a hickey, Shauna? Do
you know if it was?”

“It wasn’t a hickey,” Shauna weakly assures, attempting to conceal the blush she knows is creeping
onto her face. “Jackie um. I remember her burning herself when she was curling her hair in New
York. She wasn’t— she wasn’t lying to you.” Liar. You’re both fucking liars. “Plus she said it was
a break. Not a break-up. Once the season’s over… I’m sure you guys will be fine. There’s
definitely nobody else, Jeff.”

Although Shauna doesn’t think that she sounds all that believable, Jeff’s apparent lack of
knowledge when it comes to female hair-styling tools makes him the most oblivious human being
on the planet. He lets out a deep sigh of relief, before reaching out and wrapping his arms tightly
around Shauna’s middle.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Jeff whispers into Shauna’s ear, clutching her tighter. “I was just… freakin’
out. Thanks, for listening to me. And dealing with my bullshit… I uh—” he breaks off, with a deep
sigh. “I was driving myself crazy… thinking she was cheating,” Jeff mumbles, voice suddenly so
thick with emotion. God, if he cries Shauna might lose it. “I’m such a fucking jackass.”

It’s awkward as hell that he’s hugging her— for a variety of abundantly obvious reasons— but
Shauna feels so fucking guilty that she just goes with it. She knows she isn’t the actual reason Jeff
and Jackie were taking a break— like, it legitimately probably was because of Jackie’s insane
obsession with winning Nationals— but she still felt kind of bad for Jeff. So, Shauna rubs a
reassuring hand along his back and hesitantly leans her head onto his shoulder, breathing in the
faint smell of Old Spice cologne and…

“You smell like whiskey,” Shauna mumbles, feeling and hearing him wince right near the shell of
her ear. She instinctively pulls away, holding him at an arms-length, as she squints at him. Now
that Shauna’s studying him up close, she recognizes all the tell-tale signs of a drunken Jeff
Sadecki: the misty eyes, the lack of balance, the rambling. “Did you… were you drinking? What
the fuck, Jeff?”

“I needed liquid courage… to— to come here,” Jeff roughly stammers, before shoving his face
deeper into the crook between her neck and shoulder. “I fucked so much shit up. I’m sorry, Shauna.
I’m sorry,” Jeff practically sobs, clutching the back of her t-shirt between his fist.

Shauna instinctively runs a soothing hand through his hair because… what the fuck else is she
supposed to do? Just let him fucking cry? “You… you didn’t,” Shauna virtually hums, because if
anything she is the one who has managed to fuck everything up. “We both made a mistake. It’s
over and done. We can’t take it back, we just have to… to live with it,” she adds, voice coming out
slightly shaky. “But I— I can’t let you drive home like this.”

“I didn’t drive here,” Jeff whispers, between a series of sniffles. “I walked here. Kind of stumbled
and ran too,” he states, spurring Shauna to grin a little bit. Jeff then pulls back, allowing Shauna to
take him in. Shauna gazes at him softly, feeling like she’s been sucker-punched as she stares at his
teary eyes and bright red face. “I can just… walk home, too.”

“No, you can’t. Just… fuck. You can just sleep here,” Shauna hears herself automatically saying,
before she even registers that she’s saying it. Fuck. How is she so goddamn stupid? Well, it’s not
like she can take it back now. “It’s whatever,” she deadpans, as he unwinds his arms from her
body. “Just… just be quiet. And… and don’t leave my room at all. Like, not even for the
bathroom,” Shauna grumbles, before breaking off into a heavy sigh. “My mom seriously can’t see
you here, and I don’t know what time she’ll be back from her boyfriend’s.”

Jeff obediently bobs his head in agreement, as Shauna snatches his hand and leads him toward the
attic ladder. “Yeah… yeah. Ok,” he gravelly mumbles, breaking off into a yawn. “I got it. No
peeing,” Jeff says with a boyish grin. Shauna fights the urge to roll her eyes at his words, but still
helps him clumsily climb up the rungs of the attic.

As soon as they make it into Shauna’s bedroom, Jeff lets out a deep sigh and immediately begins
fumbling with his belt. Shauna instinctively darts her eyes away, distracting herself by peeling back
the covers of her bed and slipping back into it. By the time Shauna manages to get comfortable,
Jeff’s apparently done tugging his pants off; he clambers into the empty side of the bed, with a loud
huff.

For a few seconds, they both just lay there in complete silence; Shauna’s completely fine with it,
staring up at her ceiling— in a daze. She knows damn well if Jackie were to see this, she’d never
forgive her. There would be no explaining this away, ever. It was like all Shauna ever did was fuck
shit up and secretly betray Jackie’s trust, whether it be by committing to Brown or sneaking around
with Jeff like this. She didn’t deserve Jackie's love— in any shape or form.

And then, of course, Shauna feels Jeff shift around on his side— just to face her. She blinks up at
the ceiling, just so that she doesn’t have to look in his direction. Somehow, just seeing him like this
makes her stomach twist. But, obviously, Jeff doesn’t fucking know that; so, as usual, he makes her
feel about twenty-times worse by opening his mouth.

“Thanks for letting me sleep here tonight,” Jeff sleepily rasps, as Shauna cautiously glances at him
out of her periphery. “I know I shouldn’t have come here, because uh… yeah. You know."
Unfortunately, she did fucking know, although she was kind of thankful that he didn’t say the
words out loud. Then, he scooches a bit closer to her, and Shauna finds herself automatically
rolling onto her side— just to face him. “But I knew you were the only person who could… I
dunno. Answer my questions and make me feel a little less worried.”
“Yeah,” Shauna murmurs, reaching a hand out and rubbing at his shoulder in encouragement. “It’s
ok… Jackie can be confusing. I get it.” Wasn’t that the biggest understatement of the fucking
century?

“Do you think…” Jeff trails off, blinking at Shauna all imploringly. “Do you think it’s completely
over? Or uh— is it actually just a little break? With Jackie, I mean.”

“If Jackie wanted to break up with you, like, for real…” Shauna starts, breaking off into a bitter
grumble. “She would’ve just broken up with you, without asking for a break. Trust me, she really
likes you.” The words taste sour on her tongue, but Shauna knows they’re the truth. Considering
how much of Jeff’s bullshit Jackie’s put up with, it had to be the truth.

And, those words seem to soothe Jeff’s nerves, because then he’s nodding at Shauna with a barely-
there smile. It’s soft— sort of innocent, sort of shy— and it kind of tugs at Shauna’s heartstrings.
Like, maybe Jeff isn’t such a bad guy after all; if anything, Jeff’s kind of a softie. Plus it’s like, not
Jeff’s fault that they’re both in love with the same girl. He’s kind of sweet, and he’s—

He’s lackadaisically planting a sweaty palm on Shauna’s cheek, leaning in, and kissing her
tenderly.

Shauna pushes against his chest and he immediately pulls back, gaping at her like a deer in fucking
headlights. It’s honestly almost comical— the fact that Jeff’s looking at her, like he has absolutely
no clue what he’s just done. And, honestly, Shauna’s so shocked that she feels the exact same way.
“What— what was that?” Shauna manages to sputter out, eyes blinking wildly in Jeff’s direction.

“I don’t— I don’t know,” Jeff finally croaks out, the words rushing from his mouth forcibly—
almost like someone’s punched them out of him. In seconds, he’s tearing up all over again, and
wrapping a muscular arm around Shauna’s abdomen. Then, he shoves his head into the crook of
Shauna’s shoulder; it’s so eerily similar to the way she and Jackie cuddled in New York, that it
makes Shauna want to hurl. “I love Jackie. I really… I do. I don’t… I don’t know why I—”

“Just go to fucking sleep, Jeff,” Shauna deadpans, running a hand through his dirty-blonde hair.
She can’t bear to hear this, especially not right now. “You’re hammered. Go to bed,” she firmly
commands, prompting him to sniffle and nod against her shoulder.

The attic falls silent as Shauna continues to run her fingertips through Jeff’s mussed hair, and she
thinks that maybe she’s finally managed to soothe him to sleep. Like, maybe Shauna can finally
catch up on some shuteye of her own. Maybe she can gather enough energy to make it through her
school day without letting the details of this little fiasco— as well as all the other lies she’s been
meticulously crafting— slip out of her mouth and right into Jackie’s ears. God, she really is
nothing like all of those Saints she used to be obsessed with in middle school.

“I promise you… I really do love her.”

Jeff’s words cut through the room like sharp daggers, and Shauna swears she can feel the sweet
sting of them as they stab her directly in the heart.

She shuts her brown eyes, willing back tears, as she roughly swallows down the words: “I love her
too."

When Shauna’s eyes flutter back open, she finds sunlight seeping through her attic window and a
muscular arm draped over her waist. Her brain is clearly still a bit scrambled from the lack of sleep
and stress, so it takes Shauna a few seconds to register who the owner of the arm actually is.
She knows it isn’t Jackie— that it logistically can’t be Jackie— although a sick part of her sure
wishes it was. Shauna knows it’s Jeff who is cuddling into her right now, huffing deep breaths into
her dark hair. But, for a few minutes, she convinces herself it’s Jackie; she pretends that Jackie’s
the one holding her tightly right now, with her head buried deep in Shauna’s hair. She’s clearly
absolutely delusional; Jeff says he loves Jackie, so that means Jackie has probably told him that
she loves him back. Jackie will never choose Shauna over Jeff, no matter how far this thing with
them progresses; she’s never going to love Shauna, at least not like that. So, Shauna will take what
she can get from her little dream world.

Shauna knows that her alarm clock will probably start blaring any second now— ready to alert her
that she’s got another big day of lying to Jackie ahead of her— but her far-fetched fantasy has her
feeling a bit reluctant to escape Jeff’s embrace. It’s absolutely ridiculous and fucked-up, but the
sleep-induced haze somehow allows her to believe it. So, Shauna shuts her eyes again and nestles
closer to Jeff, pretending that it’s Jackie letting out a slew of sleepy sighs. It’s easier than Shauna
expects— sinking into this. But, then again, Shauna’s always been really good at lying; she’s great
at doing to Jackie, but she’s also great at doing it to herself, too.

Honestly, Shauna doesn’t really know how much longer she sleeps for; her alarm still hasn’t gone
off by the time she reawakes, but she knows a somewhat significant amount of time has to have
passed. Like, there’s physically no way she just drifted back off into a light nap, primarily because
of how well-rested she feels. Plus, she had at least like, three fairly long and action-packed dreams
about Jackie. Weird.

She slowly props herself up on her elbows— careful not to wake up Jeff with any sudden
movements— as she takes a peek at the time on her alarm clock. Of course, she expects to see
something close to “6:00 A.M." flashing back at her; it had to be around that time, because her
seven o’clock alarm would’ve gone off by now if it was later in the day. But, nope. Shauna’s
stomach nearly drops at the little red digits blinking brightly back at her, almost like they’re
mocking her for her own stupidity. “2:37 P.M.” Fuck. She was so fucking stressed out over lying
to Jackie about Brown, that she forgot to set her alarm for school.

God, Jackie was going to fucking kill her. Not only did Shauna apparently miss the big physics test
that Jackie claimed she needed emotional support for, but by skipping school, she automatically
wasn’t allowed to attend practice later in the day. And, to make matters worse, Shauna accidentally
skipped school to cuddle with Jackie’s boyfriend. Sure, she was thinking about Jackie the whole
time, but still.

Before Shauna can really even begin to allow herself to panic, she hears the front door swing open.
Shauna figures her mom must finally be back from her boyfriend’s, so she makes a mental note to
sneak Jeff out the window before her mom’s six o’clock shift at Hackensack Meridian. It’s not like
Shauna’s mom expects her to be home, so Shauna’s not too worried about her mom just randomly
creeping into her room and catching them. Like, her mom barely comes into the attic because of
how cramped and dusty she claims it is, even when she legitimately knows Shauna’s home.

But, of course, it’s not actually her mom. Nope, that would just be way too convenient for Shauna.
God forbid the universe ever work in her favor, for once.

“Knock, knock, Shipman. You home? Decided to play hooky without me?”

As soon as she hears Jackie’s voice ring from downstairs, Shauna instantly stiffens. She swears she
can feel her own heartbeat thumping away in her eardrums, as she practically goes light-headed. Oh
no.

Just then, Jeff decides to let out a groggy huff beside her, and somehow it’s enough to kick
Shauna’s instincts right into over-drive. She practically peels Jeff’s limp body off of her, right
before leaping out of the bed on shaky limbs. Jeff is apparently the deepest sleeper in the entire
Garden fucking State— a fact Shauna suddenly wishes she didn’t have the privilege of knowing—
because he barely even moves. All he does is let out a little groan as soon as he feels Shauna
unwind herself from his embrace, before nestling into the now empty pillow.

“Shipman, seriously? I know you’re here… your car is in the driveway. And the door was
unlocked. Why the fuck did you ditch school? Coach is going to shoot you for missing another
practice after the whole Mono thing.”

Shauna’s heart haphazardly pounds against her ribcage, so wildly that she swears she must be going
into cardiac arrest at this point. But, Shauna knows that she really does need to say something; she
knows that she needs to give Jackie some kind of excuse, just to make sure Jackie doesn’t stumble
up here and catch her and Jeff like this. “Yeah! I’m here! Just um…” Shauna screeches, shaking
Jeff’s body forcibly. He gasps a bit in shock as Shauna finally manages to jolt him awake, and she
instinctively places a finger over his mouth to prevent him from speaking. Shauna serves Jeff with
the most menacing look she can muster, clenching her jaw and narrowing her eyes at him. “I’m
just… just getting changed. Be done in a sec, Jackie!” she screams, staring directly into Jeff’s eyes
as she says Jackie’s name. She watches as his face lights up in realization and horror, his eyes
bulging comically wide.

“Shauna, are you like… ok? You sound a bit… I don’t know. Breathless.”

Jeff shoves Shauna’s hand off of his mouth, right before cautiously pulling himself off of the bed.
“I’m fine, Jax. Just um… just didn’t get a lot of sleep last night!” Shauna replies, watching as Jeff
tugs his jeans back onto his trembling body.

“Jesus. I told you to stop stressing about all your AP exams… there are way more important things
in life than getting a perfect score.”

“You’re right, Jax. You’re right,” Shauna concedes, as Jeff buckles his belt. As soon as Jeff’s done
readjusting his jeans, he looks at Shauna expectantly. She unceremoniously gestures a hand at the
window, which prompts a confused look to materialize on Jeff’s face. Fucking idiot.

“Is that why you’ve been distant lately? I thought maybe it had something to do with… you know.
New—”

“It’s just been because of exams!” Shauna practically wails— cutting Jackie off before she can say
anything that might accidentally bring her culpability to light. She then lunges at Jeff, before
basically shoving him against the attic window. Jeff suddenly looks even more stupefied, so
Shauna leans into his ear to scream-whisper at him. Of course, now all of his suspicions about
New York are back in full force, and he’s unable to focus on the task at hand. “She’s talking about
this stupid fight we got into over her trying to pair me up with Randy. Nothing happened in New
York that would ruin your relationship,” Shauna hisses, and her voice must be terrifying because
Jeff’s quickly nodding his head in understanding. “But if you don’t jump out that window in five
fucking seconds, Jackie is going to come up here and catch us. And trust me… that will ruin your
relationship.”

Jeff nods in agreement, before whipping around and tugging the window open. Shauna lets out a
quick sigh of relief, but then Jeff’s eyes are back on her and he’s opening his fucking mouth.
“Don’t you think we should—”

“Shauna, why is it taking you so fucking long to get dressed all of a sudden?”
“I’m just— just trying to find this flannel I think I might’ve lost in the wash,” Shauna replies,
before pulling Jeff in by the shirt. “Listen to me. I’m going to go down there and distract her, so
you can get out of here. As soon as you hear me say the words ‘soccer practice’ you jump,
alright?”

He shakily nods in agreement, and Shauna unceremoniously lets go of his shirt. Jeff stumbles back
a bit as a result, but straightens up as soon as Jackie’s voice rings downstairs… again.

“Just… Jesus. Shauna, it’s a fucking shirt. Forget about it and come downstairs. I think we like,
need to talk.”

“Yeah, ok! Coming!” Shauna quickly replies, firing a pointed look in Jeff’s direction. He seems to
get the memo, as he quickly swings one leg through the open window— basically straddling the
frame. Shauna bites back a laugh as she whispers into his ear, “Remember what I said. ‘Soccer
practice.’ Got it?”

Jeff nods in agreement, prompting Shauna to pull away from him and quickly rush down the cold
metal rungs of the attic ladder. As soon as her feet hit the wooden floorboards, Shauna is
practically sprinting out of the hallway and into her living room. She tries to ignore the way her
head is currently pounding against her skull as she strides through the entryway, a feeling that only
exacerbates when Jackie immediately begins to scream at her.

“Why the fuck did you skip school? I assumed you were like… sick or something. So I— I came to
check on you. But you look fine, Shipman. And I feel like you’ve just been... looking for any
excuse to avoid me ever since—”

“Jackie,” Shauna firmly states, rushing closer to her— just to rub a reassuring hand up and down
her arm. “I um— I was up studying all night. I overslept, and decided to just skip. I didn’t want to
have to go to… uh. Well, there’s no way I have the energy to keep up with you or Tai at…” she
calmly murmurs, before pausing. Well, here goes nothing. Hopefully, Jeff actually listens to her.
“Soccer practice,” Shauna practically yells, voice pitching an octave higher.

Jackie looks at her in complete and utter confusion, almost like Shauna’s suddenly lost her mind.
She shrugs Shauna’s hand right off of her, and narrows her eyes at Shauna in clear bafflement.
“Um… ok? Why are you fucking yelling all of a sudden?” Jackie questions, crossing her arms
firmly over her chest. Shauna says nothing, clenching her hands into fists at her sides. Jeff really
better have jumped out of her fucking window by now. “Alright. You know what? I’m just gonna
come out and say it. I just feel like you regret what we did in New—”

A loud thud suddenly rings from outside, followed by a quick spurt of rustling noises. Shauna
winces, knowing damn well that Jeff’s probably taken out her mother’s newest addition to her little
garden. Oh well.

Plus, Shauna really doesn’t have the time to worry about the condition of her mother’s hydrangeas
right now. Instead, she has to worry about Jackie, who instantly snaps her mouth shut after hearing
the sound. She squints her hazel irises at Shauna, brows furrowing a little bit, right before
attempting to turn around and follow the noise. But, nope. Shauna can’t let that happen.

In seconds, Shauna’s instinctively grabbing Jackie’s arm roughly and using the leverage to twist
her back around. Jackie practically gawks at her before thrashing her arm around, in a clear but
desperate attempt to escape Shauna’s tight grip. “It was probably just a squirrel," Shauna lamely
says, prompting a disbelieving look to materialize on Jackie's face. Right, because squirrels make
that much noise when they hit the ground. Good one, Shauna! "C’mon. Let’s go to my room and
talk—”
“Fine,” Jackie snaps, prompting Shauna to loosen her hold on Jackie’s arm. Jackie immediately
takes advantage by shrugging Shauna right off of her, before practically storming towards the attic
ladder. “You have a shit-ton of explaining to do,” Jackie angrily announces, then climbs up the
ladder with a huff.

Shauna understands that Jackie wants and deserves an explanation for why she’s been so weird the
last couple of days. But, Shauna knows that Jackie’s just going to get a bunch of lame excuses,
instead. Hopefully, some of them will actually stick, because Shauna hates it when Jackie starts
asking questions. It just… makes her feel even guiltier. And, yeah. She’s really fucking guilty…
like, of probably everything Jackie’s about to accuse her of.

“Ok? But this hasn't been like, a one-day thing. You’ve been acting weird since Saturday night,
Shauna. It’s like… like you’ve been purposely avoiding me. And I just— I can’t help but feel like
it’s because of what happened in New York.”

Jackie sits on the foot of Shauna’s twin-sized mattress with a scowl on her face and her hands
clasped together in her lap— basically looking like the textbook definition of getting down to
business. Although Shauna’s been trying to convince Jackie that she hasn’t been keeping her
distance because of their little rendezvous in New York— which is like, actually the truth— Jackie
refuses to believe that it’s because of Shauna’s desire to do well on her AP tests (which is a lie, but
still).

So, Shauna runs a shaky hand through her tousled hair, then approaches Jackie— still sitting up
pin-straight, on the bed. The fact that Jeff was snuggled up in that bed with her less than an hour
ago makes Shauna shiver, but she knows she needs to suppress that thought for now. So, Shauna
bends down a bit in front of the bed— just so that she and Jackie are almost the same height—
before placing both of her palms on Jackie’s cheeks. “I swear it’s because I’ve been stressed out
about AP exams, Jax. I’ve just been studying non-stop … like, before and after practice.” Liar. “I
don’t regret anything that happened in New York, trust me,” Shauna then sincerely states, because
it’s the only genuine thing she’s said to Jackie this entire time. “I just… I really don’t know how
many times I can tell you that before you finally believe me.”

“I want to believe you… but it’s just…” Jackie trails off, looking away. “There’s so much stuff we
need to talk about, you know? Like… we need to start figuring out Rutgers stuff. Dorm color
scheme, what football games to buy tickets to, what sororities to rush,” Jackie rambles, as Shauna
holds back the urge to cringe. God, every time she hears the word ‘Rutgers’ she feels like
somebody’s taken a baseball bat and rammed her right in the stomach with it. “And… I don’t
know. It’s like every time I bring up college stuff, you freak out. Which makes me feel like— like
you don’t want to do any of this anymore,” she quietly says, almost like she could cry at any
moment. So, Shauna decides to use her hold on Jackie’s cheeks to force Jackie to meet her gaze
again, which results in Shauna’s heart squeezing. She finds Jackie all teary-eyed and frowny, so
emotional that her words are practically incoherent at this point. “And like… if you don’t want to
do this anymore, we don’t have to. But like, I need you to tell me if it’s making you uncomfortable.
I don’t want to lose you, Shauna. You’re my—”

Shauna surges forward and kisses Jackie roughly, in a desperate attempt to relieve the pounding in
her head and the ringing in her eardrums. She can’t listen to Jackie anymore. She can’t lie to Jackie
anymore. It all hurts way too fucking much, and Shauna desperately needs it to stop. She needs to
prove to Jackie that she doesn’t regret New York or this stupid situationship that she’s agreed to.
Shauna needs to prove to Jackie that she loves her, in the only way she knows Jackie deems
acceptable. Like, Shauna knows— from previous experience— that there's no point in saying the
actual words; Jackie doesn't feel the same way, so she apparently doesn't like hearing them.
So, Shauna immediately slips her hands off of Jackie’s face to grab fistfuls of light brown hair,
right before nudging her tongue against Jackie’s mouth. Jackie obliges without much hesitation,
opening her mouth to Shauna and groaning as soon as their tongues meet. And then, Shauna’s
abruptly pulling away, leaving Jackie flushed and confused on the bed.

“I what— what was…” Jackie sputters, looking like she might cry again. Shauna pulls herself
completely upright and plants a hand on Jackie’s chest; she roughly shoves her downward, forcing
her back against the pillows. “Shauna?” Jackie murmurs, looking up at her in utter confusion.

“I don’t regret New York,” Shauna firmly proclaims, climbing onto the mattress and Jackie. She
props herself up above Jackie, by placing her hands on both sides of the pillow behind Jackie’s
head. “And I’m gonna prove it to you, because you don’t fucking believe me,” Shauna rasps,
prompting Jackie to fist her hand into Shauna’s shirt and tug her in for another kiss.

She indulges Jackie for a bit, before pulling her lips away from Jackie’s mouth and immediately
latching them onto Jackie’s neck. For whatever reason, Jackie still hasn’t told Shauna about her
little “break” with Jeff, so she decides that this is probably the best way to coerce that information
out of her. So, Shauna frantically fists her hands into Jackie’s hair and nips the delicate skin of her
neck, thinking that Jackie will freak the fuck out and tell her about the Jeff situation. But, nope.
Jackie just moans in response, right before reaching up and tangling her own hands in Shauna’s
hair.

What the fuck? Like, was Jeff lying to Shauna? She thinks he wouldn’t— thinks it would be weird
for him to come to her house drunk and crying over nothing— so Shauna pulls back a bit. She
surveys the other side of Jackie’s neck— the side she was roughing up in New York— and, sure
enough, Shauna spots a purple bruise right underneath the shell of Jackie’s ear.

Shauna thinks it’s really fucking bizarre that Jackie is suddenly so careless about hickeys,
especially since Jeff literally noticed one on her neck. But, whatever. She still thinks that maybe
she can get Jackie to tell her about the “break” if she just… keeps leaving obvious marks on her tan
skin. So, she grazes Jackie’s neck with her teeth again, before sucking that spot between her lips.

But, to Shauna’s amazement, she receives absolutely zero pushback. Instead, all Jackie does is
buck her hips up and groan, running her hands through Shauna’s hair excitedly. Shauna sucks
harder in return, and then Jackie’s finally opening her mouth to speak. She’s evidently finally had
enough of Shauna’s antics; like, Jackie’s undoubtedly about to rip Shauna a new one for nearly
blowing up her tenured relationship by being so careless… right?

Wrong.

“Rutgers deposits… are due today,” Jackie pants out, prompting Shauna to legitimately freeze
against the side of her neck. It takes every ounce of Shauna not to literally cringe— like, she has to
dig so deep into her shallow supply of energy in order to not give herself away. “You— you put
yours down, right? Made sure to do that… even though you skipped school?” she breathlessly
adds, as Shauna pulls away to look her in the eyes.

“Yes, Jackie,” Shauna spits, suddenly so fucking angry. But like, she’s not even mad at Jackie. No,
Shauna’s absolutely furious with herself; she’s mad at herself for lying, for betraying Jackie’s trust,
for not actually going to Rutgers with Jackie. And, Shauna hates herself for all of it, especially
since she knows what will happen if Jackie ever finds out about all of the awful things that her best
friend has done behind her back. So, Shauna decides to return to her quest of proving her love for
Jackie, in a desperate attempt to dispel of the guilt churning a hole in her stomach. “Let’s… let’s
talk later. I promise we can talk later about Rutgers. Just— just please not right now,” Shauna
quickly mutters, before immediately shoving her lips back onto Jackie’s.
Shauna doesn’t give Jackie a chance to speak— can’t give her a chance to speak— because if she
hears one more thing about Rutgers, Shauna might legitimately disintegrate. One more blow to her
crumbling conscience, and Shauna knows she’ll spill everything to Jackie.

So, Shauna kisses her with a sense of urgency, knowing damn well that they’re running on
borrowed time. Although Jackie’s none-the-wiser, she matches Shauna’s frantic pace without much
hesitation— melting into it and humming against Shauna’s mouth. Then, Shauna is rushing to lick
into Jackie’s mouth, before reaching one of her hands down to tear open the button of Jackie’s
khaki shorts. Jackie puts up no resistance— bucking desperately into Shauna’s hand— as Shauna
eventually undoes it and immediately shoves her hand down Jackie’s shorts and underwear.

It’s nothing like the first time they did this— like, there’s absolutely no preamble or debating
involved— and Shauna’s honestly kind of thankful for that. She moves to kiss Jackie’s neck as she
instantly begins rubbing her clit furiously, smirking against the column of Jackie’s throat as she
gasps and moans.

“Shauna,” Jackie moans, pulling roughly at Shauna’s dark locks. Shauna nods against her neck,
easing a finger into her before slipping it out. “I… I missed you,” she raggedly murmurs, as
Shauna’s movements pick up in speed. Shauna thrusts her finger in and out, curling it to drag
roughly against Jackie’s walls, as she attempts to ignore how dizzy she currently feels. “Fuck… I
missed you. So much… and…” Jackie breaks off into a breathy moan, thrusting her hips up to
meet Shauna’s rhythm. “And not just like this.”

“I know. I missed you too,” Shauna murmurs, kissing lightly at Jackie’s neck as she slips in a
second finger. “And not just like this either,” she adds, because it really is the truth (for once).
Jackie whimpers, before using her grip on Shauna’s hair to pull her in for a kiss. But, Shauna pulls
back fairly quickly and nudges her nose against Jackie’s, just to watch Jackie struggle to keep her
eyes open. God, she suddenly needs Jackie to look at her. “Hey, Jax,” Shauna rasps, rubbing her
thumb incessantly over her clit. Jackie weakly nods, eyes drooping open and closed of their own
accord, as Shauna began speeding up her thrusts. “Look at me,” Shauna commands, thrusting her
fingers in and out faster. Jackie bites down hard on her lip, face blushing a deeper shade of red at
Shauna’s words. “Jax. Look at me,” she repeats, and then Jackie is hesitantly meeting her gaze.
Instantly, Shauna is grinning at Jackie’s flushed face, messy hair, dark eyes, and parted lips— like,
Shauna swears Jackie’s always pretty, but somehow this is the prettiest she’s ever looked. So, of
course, Shauna tells her that. “You’re so beautiful Jackie,” Shauna murmurs, prompting Jackie to
whimper and fist her hand deeper into Shauna’s hair.

They hold eye contact like that, for what feels like maybe five seconds to Shauna, and somehow
that manages to push Jackie right over the edge. In seconds, Jackie is clamping her thighs shut and
trapping Shauna’s hand between them, moaning loud. “Shauna— Shauna— Shauna— Shauna,”
she gasps like a prayer, eyes automatically rolling closed. Shauna tries to ignore the way her
heartbeat thumps in her ears at the words, in order to focus on the way Jackie completely crumbles
before her eyes. She tightens her grip on Shauna’s hair— pulling on her dark locks so roughly that
it practically burns Shauna’s scalp— as her back arches right off of the bed.

But, unlike in New York, Shauna keeps her fingers inside of her— thrusting in and out as Jackie’s
legs start to shake in aftershock. She doesn’t give Jackie any time to recover— like, absolutely zero
rest to catch her breath— and Jackie reedily whines as her hand flies down to loosely grab
Shauna’s wrist. It’s a weak attempt to prevent Shauna from continuing, but with all of the guilt
pooling inside of her, Shauna just can’t stop. “Fuck, Shauna,” Jackie raggedly whimpers, as
Shauna circles her clit roughly. “Shauna… I just— I just did,” she weakly rambles, unwinding her
other hand from Shauna’s hair. Then, Jackie uses her newly-freed hand to push roughly at
Shauna’s chest, right as Shauna leans in to kiss her hard on the lips.”I— I can’t again,” Jackie
pants, pulling away to whisper against Shauna’s mouth. Shauna just shakes her head and moves her
fingers faster, prompting Jackie to loosen her grip on Shauna’s wrist and dig her nails into
Shauna’s arm. She winces a bit at the pain, but she’s so drunk on lust that she just… keeps going.

Shauna needs to make her come undone again, fast.

It’s desperate and it’s frenzied, just like Shauna needs it to be. Like, Shauna needs Jackie to enjoy
doing this with her. Shauna needs to be good at this— needs to be better than Jeff at this— in order
to prove to Jackie that she’s worth keeping in her life. It’s fucked up and insane thinking, but
Shauna figures that she needs to show Jackie that she’s good for something, just in case all of her
lies were to ever come out.

Thankfully, it doesn’t take very long for Jackie to come undone again, sustaining Shauna’s mission
to prove her worth to Jackie. Shauna refuses to stop— just continues to circle Jackie’s clit and thrust
into Jackie at a blindingly high speed— so Jackie eventually gives up on trying to thwart her
ministrations. Rather than attempting to scratch and bat Shauna away, Jackie unlatches her nails
from the meat of Shauna’s arm and holds her close, clinging onto her like a boa constrictor. She
tucks her head into Shauna’s shoulder, muffling her whimpers and sobs, as her body began to
stiffen.

And, that’s exactly how Jackie comes undone again, less than a few seconds later. They’re so close
that Shauna can legitimately feel Jackie’s heart racing and her body shaking against her, which
sends an electric current buzzing straight through Shauna’s own body. Then, Jackie’s gasping in a
way that’s eerily similar to how she sounds after Coach Martinez forces them to run wind sprints,
before jerking against Shauna so haphazardly that Shauna instinctively pulls her fingers out of her.
She then wraps her own arms around Jackie’s thin frame, grasping her tightly, while Jackie
practically sobs. After a few seconds of embracing her back, Jackie’s entire body goes completely
limp, and Shauna holds onto her for dear life— desperately attempting not to lose her mind over
the little noises that start escaping Jackie’s mouth.

For a few minutes, Shauna just continues to clutch her like that, kissing Jackie’s neck and relishing
in the way she shivers under her lips. But, as soon as Jackie’s ragged breathing evens out a bit,
Shauna feels Jackie untuck her head from Shauna’s shoulder. So, Shauna pulls back too, in order to
get a good look at her.

And, well. Jackie looks thoroughly debauched; her hair is a complete mess, her face is flushed, her
eyes are heavy-lidded, and she’s got this sheepish smile playing on the corners of her swollen lips.
Shauna can’t help but grin a little bit at the image, before running a shaky hand through Jackie’s
tousled hair— just to smooth it out for her. “Was that good?” Shauna murmurs, drawing a flustered
croak out of the back of Jackie’s throat.

“Yes, Shipman. Jesus Christ… I feel like I just had an exorcism,” Jackie playfully admonishes,
sucking in a deep breath. She strokes both of her hands up and down Shauna’s back, fighting to
keep her eyes open. “Were you like… were you trying to kill me, or something? God, Shauna.
What the fuck,” she mumbles, prompting a smirk to formulate on Shauna’s lips. Her plan worked.

“Just had to show you how much I don’t regret New York,” Shauna teases, prompting Jackie to
gaze at her with a heady look. Jackie’s eyes somehow darken even more, as she absently licks at
her own lips. Fuck. “Did I get that point across?” Shauna breathlessly states, voice catching in her
throat as soon as Jackie leans in to kiss her.

“Mhm,” Jackie murmurs against Shauna’s lips, before unwinding her arms from around Shauna’s
back. “But like… here’s the problem,” she coyly states, and Shauna’s suddenly a bit fearful of
where this is going. “Now I need to make sure that you know that I don’t regret New York,
either.”

Before Shauna can even react, one of Jackie’s hands is slithering between their bodies, toying at the
tie of Shauna’s sweatshorts. In seconds, Jackie’s teasing her fingertips beneath the waistband, and
then it’s like Shauna’s brain is running on auto-pilot. She frantically grasps Jackie’s wrist and pulls
her hand away, desperately trying to ignore the throbbing ache between her legs as she does so.
But, she can’t let Jackie do it. Not after lying to her, all fucking day.

And then, of course, Jackie’s pulling back and gazing at her in utter confusion. Like, of course,
nothing can just… go Shauna’s way. She’s going to have to lie to appease Jackie, yet again. “I um
— I know my mom’s gonna be home soon,” Shauna stammers, voice catching as Jackie shoots her
a haughty look. “Her shift is starting soon… which means she’s going to come back here to grab
her scrubs.”

“Guess I’ll just have to make it quick, then,” Jackie flirtily states, voice dropping an octave lower.
Shauna legitimately has to bite back a groan at Jackie’s words, feeling like her resolve might
disintegrate into a pile of ashes at any given moment. “You don’t think I can do it?” Jackie asks,
quirking up an eyebrow and smirking at her. God, Shauna feels like someone’s lit a fucking match
inside of her stomach.

“No, no… I do…” Shauna trails off, as Jackie attempts to wrestle her hand out of Shauna’s grip.
“But I really don’t want to risk it,” she firmly states, tightening her hold on Jackie’s wrist. “And…
and I just wanted you, anyway,” Shauna confidently declares, because it’s the truth. It’s basically
one of the only genuine things Shauna’s said to Jackie, all fucking day.

That’s why it stings Shauna’s heart— like, so bad— when those words arouse a shy, tiny smile
onto Jackie’s face. “You’re so…” Jackie trails off, shaking her head with a grin and twinkling eyes.
Shauna raises an eyebrow at her, curious to see where she’s going with this one. “I just— God. I
always knew you had the brooding writer thing down, but who knew you were such a flirt?” Jackie
teases, earning a pinch on the wrist from Shauna. “Ow!”

“Well, I guess now you do,” Shauna says, releasing Jackie’s wrist from her grasp. She plants a
quick, chaste kiss on Jackie’s lips— right before clambering off of Jackie and the bed. “But um…
seriously. My mom’s gonna be home soon, so uh—” she trails off, running a nervous hand through
her hair. Like, obviously she doesn’t want Jackie to leave, but she knows if Jackie stays she’s going
to inevitably bring up Rutgers. It’s all she’s been talking about recently, and Shauna’s already
teetering on the brink of losing her mind. “Plus I know you have to be at practice by—”

“Alright, alright. Message received,” Jackie mumbles, buttoning her khaki shorts back up and
rolling off of the bed. She saunters toward Shauna, wrapping her arms loosely around her neck.
“You’re probably right, anyways. Definitely wouldn’t be a good look… having your mom walk in
on us,” she teases, pressing a quick kiss to Shauna’s lips— before pulling back. “And don’t worry.
I’ll make sure to convince Coach Martinez that you are deathly ill,” Jackie deviously adds,
unwinding her arms from around Shauna’s neck.

“Much appreciated,” Shauna says, reaching a hand out— just to smooth Jackie’s bedhead. “I
seriously hope he buys it… I’m not really in the mood to run extra sprints tomorrow,” she
sheepishly admits, spurring a little giggle to spill from Jackie’s throat.

“Oh so fair, Shipman. So fair,” Jackie breezily replies, a little glint in her hazel irises. “Just make
sure that you actually wake up for school tomorrow, and I’m sure all will be forgiven.”

“Won’t happen again,” Shauna bitterly mumbles, jaw clenching a bit at the memory of Jeff. Shauna
internally cringes, finally registering that she had both Jackie and Jeff in her bed today. Jesus
Christ. “Trust me." Honestly, Shauna really doesn’t know if she’s reassuring Jackie or herself with
that statement.

Jackie tentatively rakes her eyes over Shauna in confusion, almost like she knows that Shauna’s
fucked up yet again. Although Shauna realizes that’s basically impossible, her heart rate picks up
anyway. But, thankfully, Jackie doesn’t study her like she’s some kind of zoo animal for very long.
“Good, because whenever you’re not at practice I have to deal with Tai being a bitch all by
myself,” Jackie huffs, running a hand through her hair. “Plus, I swear the best ideas pop into my
brain during warm-ups. Like, yesterday, I realized that we should totally switch to the cheapest
meal plan that Rutgers offers. That way, we can go to the city and eat without feeling guilt—”

Shauna grasps Jackie’s face between her hands, kissing her hard; Jackie squeaks a bit in surprise,
but then eventually sinks into it. Once Shauna feels her own breath leaving her, she pulls away—
finding Jackie gaping at her, doe-eyed. “Sounds like a good idea, Jax. We should talk more about
it— Rutgers, I mean— later. I don’t want to make you late for practice.” Liar.

“So chivalrous of you, Shipman. But… I kinda wish I overslept too. Just so we could stay here in
your bed… and plan out some of our Rutgers stuff,” Jackie excitedly chirps, stepping up on her
tippy-toes and planting a kiss on Shauna’s cheek. Shauna just nods in response, swallowing down
the quickly-hardening lump in her throat. “Next year is going to be so perfect.”

“Yeah, it is,” Shauna manages to say, forcing a tight-lipped smile onto her face. Liar, fucking liar.
Like, she swears she can feel her heart shatter into smithereens as Jackie practically beams at her.
“But… seriously. Go to practice, Jackie. One of us has to, and it can’t be me.”

Jackie rolls her eyes, shoving Shauna away playfully. “Fine. Guess you’re right… as usual,” she
says with a huff, practically skipping over to the attic ladder. Shauna sighs, rubbing her hands over
her throbbing temples, as she paces over to her bed and begins to re-make it. She can’t bear to look
at Jackie again, so she focuses on readjusting her comforter— instead of the sound of Jackie’s
sneakers against the metal rungs of the ladder.

The tell-tale squeaking sound of Jackie’s sneakers against the ladder stops, so Shauna whips around
to see if Jackie’s gone. Like, Shauna really thinks that she’s finally home free— thinks she can
finally recollect and recharge before another big day of lying tomorrow. But, nope.

Jackie’s sticking her head out of the little trapdoor, her body halfway down the ladder, with a wide
smile on her face. “I can’t wait to spend another four years with you… I love you,” Jackie shyly
states, almost like she’s afraid Shauna won’t say it back. God.

It felt like a sucker punch to the gut. A bitch-slap across the face. Maybe even a soccer ball, drilled
right into her stomach, by Coach Martinez’s favorite little mid-fielder— Taissa fucking Turner.
Shauna swears Jackie has just delivered the knock-out blow in their emotional boxing match; the
one that Jackie doesn’t even know exists, and that Shauna’s been losing since the start.

“Me— me too. And I— I love you too.”

And, with that, Jackie climbs the rest of the way down the ladder.

It isn’t until Shauna hears her front door slam shut— a tell-tale sign that Jackie’s left— that she
realizes that she stopped breathing. That she hasn’t moved in probably like, five whole minutes.
That her heart is beating way too fast in her chest right now.

Shauna has no idea why Jackie didn’t tell her about her “break” from Jeff, or why Jackie's
suddenly all sentimental. She doesn’t know why she can’t just tell Jackie the truth about Rutgers,
 or why she’s so fearful of Jackie not supporting her Ivy League endeavors. All she knows is that
she wishes someone would just put her out of her misery and bury her in the middle of Rutgers
University’s football stadium, because she thinks lying to Jackie's face one more time might send
her to an early grave.

Chapter End Notes

wrote this chap while severely hungover and I feel like it shows but... anyways.
coming up next: shauna's bday, where all the alcohol gets jackie to admit that she and
jeff are on a "break..." amongst other things.
 happy birthday, baby
Chapter Summary

“I should go, anyways,” Jackie automatically says, sliding her jeans back on. Shauna
instinctively gapes at Jackie, but mirrors her behavior— tugging her own jeans back
on. “Practice is early as hell tomorrow… and as Team Captain, it is my duty to set an
example for everyone else. I can’t be late, Shipman.”

“But… the whole plan for tonight was for you to sleep—”

“This is probably a better plan, honestly. That way we won’t both be tired tomorrow,”
Jackie quickly supplies, zipping her pants back up. Then, right as Shauna begins to
open her mouth in retortion, Jackie closes the distance between them. She places a
quick kiss on Shauna’s lips, then books it for the ladder. “Hope you had a good
birthday, Shipman!” Jackie hurriedly proclaims, shimmying down the ladder. “Love
ya!”

Or: Jackie acts strange the entirety of Shauna's birthday, leaving her really confused.

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

May 18th, 1996

Unlike her insanely charismatic and skilled schmoozer of a best friend, Shauna has never really
been a massive fan of celebrating her birthday. Like, even when she was a little kid and her parents
were still pretending to love each other, Shauna just… never saw the appeal. And, it’s not like
something super tragic or awful occurred during one of Shauna’s previous birthdays to make her
unenthused about it, either. Honestly, it’s simply because Shauna loathes being the center of
attention, even if it is just for one day. Shauna has always hated the anxious feeling that churns in
the pit of her stomach whenever she’s thrust into the spotlight, so she avoids the heat of its rays at
all costs. And, of course, that means that Shauna always attempts to celebrate her birthday in the
most mundane ways— much to well-regarded extrovert Jackie Taylor’s dismay.

So, of course, Jackie always goes out of her way to surprise Shauna with some grand gesture on her
birthday. It’s basically been a tradition ever since Shauna’s tenth birthday; her parents split for the
first time that year, so Shauna vehemently refused to throw a birthday party at her house or even
celebrate turning double-digits. Fifth grade Jackie was absolutely appalled that her best friend
wasn’t planning on commemorating such an important milestone in her short life, so she begged
Mrs. Taylor to let her have a surprise party for Shauna at their house. Mrs. Taylor eventually
relented to the pleas of her perfect only daughter— which, Shauna figures that she’s still probably
bitter about to this day— by allowing Jackie to host a massive pool party in Shauna’s honor.
Although it was honestly really fun, Shauna would’ve also been perfectly content with floating
around the Taylors’ pool with just Jackie, and not their entire fifth-grade class.

But, well. That pool party set the precedent for all of Shauna’s future birthdays; ever since then,
Jackie’s managed to surprise Shauna on her birthday with a massive bash or a trip out-of-state. It’s
not like Shauna hates how over-the-top Jackie is with her birthday surprises— like, Shauna
genuinely does appreciate how much Jackie wants to celebrate her— but she would much rather
just go out to dinner or see a movie with just Jackie. Every year she begs Jackie for something low-
key, which somehow always ends up morphing into some huge birthday rager where someone
blacks out, someone gets cheated on, or someone’s boyfriend leaves them for their own cousin
(here’s looking at you, Mari).

So, as soon as Shauna feels her bed dip a bit on the morning of her eighteenth birthday, she knows
exactly who has come to wake her up. She doesn’t even need to open her brown eyes to check and
see; Shauna immediately registers that it’s Jackie, especially since she’s been forcing Shauna up
early on her birthday since the ripe age of eleven. Like, considering how giddy and impatient
Jackie gets over starting the festivities, Shauna swears that her birthday might be Jackie’s favorite
holiday of all time. Sure, Jackie’s thrown herself some fairly big and eventful parties on her
November birthday, but Jackie legitimately pulls out all of the party-planning stops for Shauna’s.
Shauna figures that it’s just because Jackie wants to take advantage of the warm weather that she
isn’t afforded on her own birthday, but Shauna still finds Jackie’s ambition and excitement kind of
adorable.

Shauna tries to bite back a grin as Jackie decides to further demonstrate how adorable she really is,
straddling Shauna’s lap with a little giggle. The sound makes Shauna feel warm and fuzzy all over,
diminishing the uncomfortable, guilt-induced knot in her stomach a little bit. Living with this
nauseating twist in her stomach has basically become Shauna’s new normal, ever since the close-
call with Jeff and the Rutgers thing. But, well. When Jackie’s all cute like this— while also
keeping her mouth shut about Rutgers for fucking once— Shauna feels her stomach settle down.

“Shipman,” Jackie hums, tracing her fingertips over Shauna’s nose. Shauna refuses to crack open
her eyes— refuses to wake up without a bit of a faux fight— so she keeps them closed and smiles
up at Jackie in a way that she knows will frustrate Jackie to no end. “C’mon birthday girl…” she
chirps, dragging her fingertips down— to trail them along Shauna’s jaw. “I know you’re awake…
and it’s your big day. Don’t you want to get a move on? ”

“Uh uh,” Shauna mumbles, shaking her head with her eyes still firmly shut. “You know what I
want from you for my birthday this year, Jax? The gift of sleeping in." Well, Shauna wants that, but
she would also love for Jackie to finally tell her about her “break” from Jeff. It’s been more than
two weeks since he came over crying, and Jackie still hasn’t divulged any information to Shauna.
But, of course, it’s not like Shauna can straight up ask her. That would be way too obvious— she
needs to wait Jackie out. “Hmmm, how’s that sound?” Shauna quickly adds, as she feels Jackie
trace a finger over her lips.

“I already let you sleep in an extra hour, Shauna,” Jackie playfully admonishes, leaning in to nudge
her nose against Shauna’s. “Usually, I wake you up at ten on your birthday. It’s eleven,” she
whispers against her mouth, before placing a chaste kiss on her lips.

“Wow, thanks for waiting a bit longer… before breaking into my house. Oh, and thanks for letting
me have an extra hour of sleep on my birthday and on a Saturday,” Shauna murmurs, feeling
Jackie’s head shift a bit. Jackie’s satiny hair lightly brushes against one of Shauna’s cheeks, as she
moves to kiss Shauna’s neck. “You’re gonna… gonna win the ‘best friend of the year ’ award for—
for that one,” Shauna breathlessly adds, while desperately attempting to hide how much of an
effect Jackie has on her. It clearly doesn’t work, because Shauna can legitimately feel Jackie smirk
against the side of her neck. Jesus.

Jackie moves her lips up a bit, brushing them over the shell of Shauna’s ear. “Trust me, with
everything I have planned for you today I will win the ‘best friend of the year ’ award,” she
whispers directly into Shauna’s ear, prompting a shiver to roll through Shauna’s entire body.
Jackie then pulls back just as quickly, letting out an indignant huff. “But if you don’t wanna wake
up, then I guess—”

Shauna pushes herself up on her elbows as her eyes immediately fly wide open, finding Jackie
grinning smugly at her. Of course, Jackie knew exactly what to say to get her to cave. Typical. “If
your big plan is to throw me a party…” Shauna unenthusiastically trails off, prompting an innocent
shrug out of Jackie. Of course, a classic big birthday rager. “I say we skip it and just have our own
fun in here,” Shauna murmurs, leaning in and laving her tongue over the slender column of Jackie’s
throat.

Jackie presses both of her hands against Shauna’s chest and shoves Shauna down hard, forcing her
back against her pillows. “Ok, as tempting as that sounds…” Jackie mumbles, biting down hard on
her lip. Shauna absently runs her hands up and down Jackie’s bare thighs— fighting the urge to flip
Jackie over and pin her to the mattress— even as Jackie continues speaking. “I really don’t think
you’re gonna wanna blow off my plans."

“Jax, are you sure?” Shauna asks, quirking an eyebrow. Like, Shauna genuinely cannot believe that
there might be a more ideal way to spend her birthday, that is somehow better than getting to
cuddle Jackie all day. “It’s my birthday, and I think we should just stay in here and—”

“Oh, so you’re saying that if I got us tickets to go see Alanis at PNC, you wouldn’t wanna go?”
Jackie haughtily asks, prompting Shauna to gape at her. Those tickets had legitimately sold out as
soon as they went on sale at the end of March, which drove Shauna nuts because she didn’t get
paid till the first week of April. And of course, by the time her paycheck came in the mail, the
entire show was sold-out. So, how the fuck did Jackie— who has never worked a day in her life
and constantly spends the small amount of money she has in her savings on clothes— manage to
purchase two of those highly sought-after tickets? “Let me guess, you don’t believe me?”

“Jax, those tickets have been sold out since like… Saint Patrick’s Day,” Shauna bitterly states,
recalling how she and Jackie were barely on speaking terms around that time. Well, things between
them were very different then… especially compared to now. “You would’ve had to have waited in
this like three-hour line at PNC to even get up to the ticket counter, and they were so expensive.
Like, even during the pre-sale they were—”

“Please. You know I always get my way,” Jackie scoffs, reaching into the back pocket of her khaki
shorts. Shauna just watches intently as she pulls out two purple and yellow tickets, waving them in
Shauna’s face with a smirk. Shauna instinctively snatches the tickets right out of Jackie’s hand,
raking her eyes over the words printed onto them in black ink. Sure enough, they were fucking
real, which prompted Shauna’s eyes to bulge comically wide. “Well, Shipman. I guess now you
can’t say that I’ve never given you anything, either,” Jackie teases, taking advantage of Shauna’s
stupor and plucking the tickets right out of her hands.

Shauna suddenly feels a bit light-headed over both Jackie’s big surprise and her choice of words.
Jackie’s teasing remark echoes exactly what Shauna had said to her after winning her that stuffed
bunny at Six Flags. But, that was just a cheap boardwalk prize, which Shauna only had to spend a
meager five dollars to win. These were tickets to go see Alanis Morissette, which Shauna knew—
from her own desperate attempts to secure a ticket in March— were at least ten times more
expensive than that stupid bunny.

“Jax,” Shauna sighs, rubbing both of her hands over her own face in sheer astonishment. Jackie just
raises an eyebrow at her, feigning nonchalance as she shoves the tickets back into her pocket.
“Those tickets must’ve cost you a fortune. Seriously, how much did you spend—”

“Shipman. Don’t worry about it,” Jackie firmly declares, voice so stern that it almost sounds like a
command. She then circles both of Shauna’s wrists and pulls Shauna’s hands off of her own face,
right before forcibly pinning them to the mattress. Shauna just lets out a huff, shaking her head in
disbelief. “It doesn’t matter how much the tickets were… as long as they make my best girl very
happy on her eighteenth birthday. That’s like, priceless to me,” Jackie quietly admits, with a shy
smile on her lips. And, of course, Shauna swears those words steal the air right out of her lungs.

Jackie’s so good and so genuine to Shauna, while Shauna continues to actively lie to her every
single day. Like, it kind of feels like somebody is slapping her across the face, every single time
Jackie does something nice for her— except the sting is sweet, rather than painful. Which,
honestly, somehow hurts worse.

“Jackie, I need to tell you something. I—” Shauna automatically blurts out, suddenly overwhelmed
by her feelings of guilt. She wants to tell Jackie the truth, and free herself from the sticky web of
lies she has meticulously spun. But, of course, Shauna can’t find the proper words to convey how
truly awful she’s been as a best friend. Even though she is legitimately planning on majoring in
English, Shauna doesn’t know how to express to Jackie how sorry she is. Shauna is going to an Ivy
League school next fall, but lacks the brain-power and critical thinking skills to tell Jackie the truth
about everything. “I… um. I—”

But, then again, maybe it is better to live a lie… instead of losing Jackie forever.

“Yeah? What is it, Shipman?” Jackie impatiently questions, squirming a bit in Shauna’s lap. She
lets go of Shauna’s wrists, staring down at Shauna with this huge smile on her face. Honestly,
Shauna can’t help but feel like Jackie looks and sounds a bit… expectant. However, Shauna figures
that it’s probably just because she’s acting so weird, which is presumably freaking Jackie out. Plus,
it’s not like Jackie’s the most patient person, anyways; she’s probably just waiting for Shauna to
spit it out. Case in point: “Earth to Shauna… hello?”

She gently taps on Shauna’s head with her fist, prompting a flustered laugh to escape from
Shauna’s mouth. Well, looks like Shauna wouldn’t be purposely ruining her friendship with Jackie
on her own birthday, after all. “Nothing. I was just uh— just wondering how we’re gonna get to
PNC, that’s all. Like, I’m assuming we’re both gonna drink before we go, so…”

Jackie’s smile immediately slips off of her tanned face, as she instantly begins to blink at Shauna in
mild frustration. Shauna thinks it’s kind of strange, but thankfully, Jackie’s random bout of
irritation doesn’t last very long. “Shit, you’re so right. I didn’t even think about that,” Jackie
eventually concedes, running a gentle hand through Shauna’s bedhead. “Thank God we’ve got that
big brain of yours… otherwise we’d be hitch-hiking up the fucking Parkway at eight o’clock at
night.”

Although Shauna wishes that she didn’t have such a big brain— just so that she could’ve been
gifted with a Brown rejection letter— she still smiles and nods at Jackie’s words. And, well. Since
she already has it and can’t just get rid of it, Shauna decides that she might as well use her
wretched Ivy League-level brain to her advantage. “Hey, why don’t you ask Jeff if he can drive
us?” Shauna innocently asks, studying Jackie’s face closely. Sure enough, Jackie winces a little bit,
giving herself away. Check. Mate. “What? He’s your boyfriend, isn't that like his entire—"

“Well, um… Jeff and I are kind of on a little ‘break’ right now,” Jackie practically whispers,
almost like she’s afraid that somebody else besides Shauna might hear her. “So I’m like, not sure if
he would really be down to drive us to—”

“Wait, you and Jeff broke up?” Shauna asks, feigning complete shock. Jackie cringes a bit before
hesitantly nodding her head, and it takes all of Shauna’s willpower not to smirk. Somehow, Shauna
has finally managed to pry this information out of Jackie, who has been withholding it from Shauna
for weeks. And, to be completely honest, Shauna doesn’t really understand why Jackie’s been so
secretive about it. It’s been driving Shauna completely insane— essentially forcing Shauna to
conjure up a plethora of potential explanations for Jackie’s strange behavior. Like, usually, Jackie
is so quick to tell Shauna about everything that goes on between her and Jeff; so, why didn’t she tell
Shauna about this? “What? When?”

“Um… a couple of weeks ago,” Jackie reluctantly murmurs, like it physically pains her to say it.
And then, Jackie is sighing so deeply that it is almost like she’s being put upon, right before
continuing. “And we’re not like… broken up. It’s uh— just a little break…” she trails off, looking
away from Shauna— briefly. “That’s why I didn’t… tell you sooner,” Jackie weakly finishes,
gazing back at Shauna with a bit of apprehension in her hazel irises.

“Oh,” Shauna murmurs, slightly disappointed. A sick part of Shauna really wishes that Jackie and
Jeff were done for good, although she knows that it would never actually happen; Wiskayok’s
golden couple would never break up, especially not because of her. “So… why are you taking a
break, then?”

“Because Jeff’s like…” Jackie puffs out a frustrated breath, clearly struggling to find the right
words. “He’s just so… needy. And I seriously don’t have time to entertain him like, every single
day,” Jackie says, sounding a bit pensive. Part of Shauna wants to open her mouth and remind
Jackie that she’s been blowing off Jeff just to screw around with her for over a month, but Shauna
decides it’s better to just… keep her mouth shut. “Plus like… I need to focus all of my free time
and energy on soccer right now. We are literally so close to winning States and qualifying for
Nationals, that I can literally taste the Seattle air from here. Can’t you taste it, Shipman?”

“Mhm. Yeah,” Shauna murmurs, breaking off into a flustered laugh. “But, your mission to get us to
Nationals better not make you put me in time-out, too. I don’t feel like sitting on the sidelines with
Jeff for the next month,” Shauna teases, prompting Jackie’s jaw to drop in mock offense.

“Yeah, right. Like I’d ever put you in time-out, Shipman,” Jackie playfully admonishes, slapping
Shauna weakly on the shoulder. Shauna laughs along until, in the blink of an eye, Jackie’s tone
turns all serious. “I promise I would never… I don’t know. Like, ditch you, or something. You’re
always going to be my number one… you know that, right?” Jackie states, sucking her lip
nervously between her teeth.

Shauna’s throat instantly dries up, probably faster than the Sahara Desert.

She wants to say something— literally anything, just to prove to Jackie that she feels the exact
same way— but she can’t. Shauna is literally ditching Jackie for Brown; she’s leaving her best
friend in the dust, for a degree. She’s trading in a ten-year friendship, for a piece of printer paper.
It’s pathetic— downright horrific, too.

So, rather than attempting to use that Ivy League brain of hers to find the words to express to Jackie
how awful she is, Shauna quickly props herself back up on her elbows. Shauna responds to Jackie’s
words with a passionate kiss, hoping that it’ll somehow convey everything she wants to say.
Because, ironically enough, Shauna was probably the only English major in the world who
struggled to articulate her feelings through words. Sure, when Shauna was describing her emotions
in her journal, she could find the right words to express how she was feeling; but, Shauna could
never find the right way to voice them out loud. And, honestly, that struggle probably had all of the
great writers reeling in their graves.

“Do you have anything planned… during the day,” Shauna pants, in between passionate kisses.
Jackie vehemently shakes her head in response, frantically fisting her hands into Shauna’s hair. It
takes every ounce of Shauna not to say the words ‘thank God’ out loud.
“We just— we should start pre-gaming and getting dressed at five,” Jackie murmurs, rolling her
hips down into Shauna’s lap with a gasp. “So that we can uh— can figure out a ride. Jeff’s off the
table, I don’t want to deal with him,” Jackie pants, as Shauna drags her lips to Jackie’s jaw. “So,
maybe we can convince Lottie to drive us… or something. I think she’s going, too,” Jackie
whispers, as Shauna trails biting kisses towards her neck.

“Ok, ok,” Shauna automatically complies, although she’s way too distracted to even register what it
is that she’s actually agreeing to. “But can we just…” she trails off, as she feels Jackie’s hand slide
down her chest and toward the waistband of her sweatpants. “Table the whole car ride situation till
later? Please,” Shauna breathlessly begs, sounding so pathetic that it’s actually kind of
embarrassing.

“Mhm. We can do that,” Jackie whispers, finally slipping her hand beneath the waistband of
Shauna’s sweatpants and underwear. “Anything for the birthday girl.”

It only took eight years, but Jackie’s finally complying with Shauna’s introverted wishes and
dreams; there is no huge party or vacation to celebrate Shauna, this year. It’s just them, alone
together, like Shauna’s always wanted. And, even though they haven’t even gone to the concert
yet, Shauna quickly determines that her eighteenth birthday might be her greatest one ever.

Even as the opening chords of “You Oughta Know” begin to echo loudly through PNC Bank Arts
Center, Shauna makes no effort to look away.

She’s super fucking drunk and has been for a few hours, thanks to the random assortment of
alcohol Jackie stole from the Taylors’ fully-stocked liquor cabinet. Shauna swears she can feel all
of it— the rum, the whiskey, the cheap wine that stained Jackie’s lips slightly red— coursing
through her bloodstream, channeling right to her head. She feels dizzy and hazy, almost like that
usually sharp-witted brain of hers has been replaced by a clump of cotton. It’s like Shauna’s in a
whole different dimension, on the verge of floating away and out of this one, at any given
moment.

But, in a twist of fate, Jackie is the anchor keeping her grounded. For the first time in months, the
tables have turned. Jackie is steady as she rubs a reassuring thumb over Shauna’s hand, eyes glued
to the stage in equal parts fervor and astonishment. She thinks it’s kind of weird— this sudden shift
— especially since Shauna is so used to having to keep Jackie grounded. Usually, Jackie’s behavior
has Shauna feeling like she’s sitting in the front row seat of some bumpy, never-ending Six Flags
roller coaster. It’s like Shauna is always on high alert, waiting with fear and trepidation for the final
drop— waiting for Jackie to abruptly decide she is over this, and terminate this whole thing.
Shauna knows it is bound to happen eventually, whether she wants it to— she doesn’t want it to—
or not.

So, Shauna keeps her glazed-over eyes on Jackie, watching as she enthusiastically bobs her head to
the only Alanis Morissette song she knows. It’s kind of funny— or, at least to drunk Shauna, it is—
especially since Shauna knows that if Jackie had access to a mirror right now, she would be too
busy knit-picking her own appearance to have any fun.

Whenever they went to parties, Jackie would spend at least a fourth of the night traveling in and
out of the bathroom, checking herself out and making adjustments to her appearance. Apparently,
she couldn’t handle the idea of someone seeing her with a bit of crumbly mascara on her eyelashes,
or Jeff somehow miraculously noticing how her concealer would start to look a bit too shiny after a
few beers. So, while everyone else— including Shauna herself— was busy drinking, dancing, and
acting carefree… Jackie would be worrying about smudged makeup, frizzy hair, and alcohol-
stained teeth.
Consequently, Shauna always thought Jackie was way too hard on herself— way too focused on
adhering to her mother’s concept of beauty and perfection— to ever actually have any fun at those
events. It was like her guard always had to be up, just to make sure that nobody caught her with an
errant strand of hair on her head or a bright red pimple on her face.

But, right now, Jackie’s guard appears completely down. She doesn’t seem bothered or worried
about the small sheen of sweat on her forehead, or the speck of shine on her cheeks. Her mascara is
a bit smudged around her eyes, but she makes no effort to rub the remnants of it away. And, even
though she spent an ungodly amount of time straightening it in Shauna’s bathroom, Jackie doesn’t
run a hand through her hair to tame the fresh frizz or slightly curled ends. For the first time in a
long time, Jackie just seems… completely relaxed.

The realization has the corners of Shauna’s mouth twisting upward— so reflexively that it takes a
while for her to even register that she is, in fact, smiling.

And, Jackie must somehow catch her in her periphery, because then she’s tearing her eyes away
from the stage to gaze back at Shauna. Her eyes are twinkling just like the bright summer stars they
used to sneak out of Jackie’s bedroom to see, during their elementary school sleepovers. She has
this gigantic, toothy grin on her face that practically blinds Shauna’s already tired eyes— probably
because of how white and perfect her teeth are.

“What?” Jackie innocently asks, playfully bumping her shoulder up against Shauna’s. Shauna
shrugs in response, but maintains the drunken grin on her face; like, with Jackie this close, she just
can’t help it. “You look like you’re thinking real hard about something, Shipman. I think I can see
the gears churning in that big brain of yours,” she acquiesces, shaking her head with a giggle.

“Not really…” Shauna mumbles, prompting Jackie to purse her lips and squint at her in mock
suspicion. “Well, maybe I am thinking…” she trails off, as Jackie impatiently gestures for her to go
on. God. “About you, I guess,” Shauna weakly finishes, darting her eyes away quickly. For once,
she wasn’t lying to Jackie, but maybe telling the truth really was harder than stewing in guilt all the
time.

“About me?” Jackie practically gushes, like the idea of Shauna thinking about her is some brand
new concept. But, completely unbeknownst to Jackie, she lives in Shauna’s mind— rent-free—
every goddamn second of the day. “Well, what are you thinking about? You know… about me?”

Shauna can feel her blood rushing right to her skull; the alcohol pulsing through her is much louder
in her ears than the sound of the music engulfing them. Her heart thumps like a jackhammer in her
chest, urging the stupid words that she’s wanted to say to Jackie for months— for years, honestly
— to spill out of her mouth, all over again. She really must have left her inhibitions at her house,
right beside that bottle of Malibu Rum, on her nightstand. “Just how much I—”

And I'm here, to remind you, of the mess you left when you went away.

“What?” Jackie screams, attempting to speak to Shauna over Alanis’ booming vocals. She holds
her palms over her ears, wincing a bit at the volume of the music. “What did you say?”

“I just wanted to say that I lo—”

It's not fair, to deny me, of the cross I bear that you gave to me. You, you, you oughta know.

As soon as the song drifts off, the entire amphitheater erupts into thunderous applause and cheers
of excitement. Plenty of people jump around them, spilling their beers and clapping their hands
wildly. Jackie doesn’t move to clap her hands or squeal like the rest of the rambunctious girls
around them, though. She doesn’t move at all— almost like she’s suddenly rooted in place— as
she continues to stare at Shauna, expectantly.

“Well?” Jackie impatiently asks, verging on sounding overly frustrated. She quirks an eyebrow up
at Shauna, as she places her hands on her hips. “Couldn’t hear you, so you’re gonna have to repeat
what you said, Shipman.” She tentatively rakes her eyes up and down Shauna’s entire body,
shifting her weight from one leg to another. For whatever reason, Jackie is the one that seems the
most nervous right now, out of the two of them.

“I uh—” Shauna murmurs, looking past Jackie at the sea of people behind them. She suddenly felt
completely sober, beneath the heat of Jackie’s intense gaze and the bright lights of PNC Bank Arts
Center. Maybe Alanis was doing her a favor, by shutting her ass up, after all. “I think we should
probably find Lottie. You know… so we can get out of here. And beat all of this traffic,” she
rambles on, gesturing her arms around— at the assortment of people, surrounding them.

"Oh. Yeah, you’re um… probably right,” Jackie reluctantly admits, sounding a bit… pensive. She
gnaws on the inside of her cheek, blinking at Shauna with a wary look on her face. “Let’s uh… go
find Lottie,” she murmurs, with an eye roll. “I guess.”

And, with that, Jackie extends a manicured hand out toward Shauna. She can’t help but notice how
agitated Jackie suddenly looks, but she takes Jackie’s hand without much afterthought, anyways.

As they walk hand in hand around the lawn area of the PNC Bank Arts Center, searching far and
wide for Lottie fucking Matthews, Shauna finds her mind lingering on something that happened
earlier.

When Shauna told Jackie that she needed to tell her something earlier— but then struggled to say it
— Jackie reacted in the exact same way. She got all frustrated and impatient, apparently pissed off
at Shauna for not admitting to… something. It was almost like she had been expecting some kind of
confession from Shauna for a while, and was patiently waiting for Shauna to deliver it to her.

Although she thought it was kind of odd, Shauna decides to just let it go. Like, if Jackie really felt
like Shauna needed to tell her something, she would just bring it up to Shauna on her own… right?

Besides, it was probably something Rutgers-related, anyways. Like, Jackie was definitely just
waiting for Shauna to finally sit down and discuss their college plans. She was definitely waiting to
hear something totally frivolous come out of Shauna’s mouth— like, maybe Jackie was waiting to
hear which sorority Shauna planned on rushing. Or, maybe she was waiting for Shauna to tell her
what color bedspread she liked.

So, yeah. Whatever Jackie wanted Shauna to tell her, definitely was not that important, anyways.

“I have one more, big birthday surprise for you,” Jackie murmurs with a smirk, before bending
over and sliding her jeans the rest of the way down her legs.

Shauna ogles Jackie’s half-naked frame from the edge of the bed, watching intently as her jeans hit
the floor, in a disregarded heap. “Can it— can it wait?” Shauna murmurs, tugging her shirt over her
head— before tossing it next to her own pair of discarded jeans, on the ground.

“No, Shipman. And I don’t think you’re going to want to wait for this one,” Jackie tuts, tugging her
shirt over her head as she approaches the bed. She unceremoniously tosses it to the floor— with the
rest of their discarded clothing— before straddling Shauna’s hips. “Trust me,” she murmurs, as
Shauna instantly shoves her head into the crook between Jackie’s neck and shoulder.
“I just want this right now, Jackie. The surprise… it can— it can wait,” Shauna rasps, right before
latching her lips onto the delicate skin of Jackie’s neck. "I just want you."

Jackie indulges her for a second, allowing Shauna to plant rough kisses against the column of her
slender neck, before she’s fisting a hand into Shauna’s hair. “It can’t wait, Shauna,” Jackie roughly
declares, yanking on Shauna’s hair— just to pull her head back.

As soon as Shauna’s eyes are back on hers, Jackie unwinds her hand from Shauna’s hair, smirking
devilishly at her. “Jax, seriously. Can you just… wait till after?” Shauna whines, tracing shapes
over Jackie’s hipbones with her thumbs. “Please.”

Jackie bites her lip and shakes her head, staring down at Shauna with dark, lust-filled eyes. “Like I
said…” Jackie whispers, before reaching behind her back. Fuck. “I don’t think you’re gonna
wanna wait for this one,” Jackie quickly adds, feigning nonchalance— although the blush creeping
onto her cheeks gives her away. But of course, Shauna can’t take her eyes off Jackie’s own, even as
she hears Jackie fiddle with the metal clasp on her bra. “Was I right, Shipman?” she asks, finally
unhooking her bra.

Shauna gasps and leans in closer, pressing her forehead against Jackie’s own. “Jax,” she practically
whimpers, nose nudging against Jackie’s— as she stares down at Jackie's loosened bra. The red
fabric barely covers her chest anymore— hanging loosely over her boobs, by the straps dangling
around her shoulders. Shauna feels dizzy all over again— but knows, full well, that it isn’t because
of the alcohol this time. “Are you sure?”

Jackie releases a hot puff of air onto Shauna’s lips, then slowly nods her head against Shauna’s
forehead. “Yeah,” Jackie breathily huffs, leaning back and pulling her forehead away from
Shauna’s. She immediately gazes back up at Jackie, maintaining eye contact as the lighter-haired
girl nervously nibbles on her lip. “I trust you,” Jackie then firmly announces, eyes gazing intensely
into Shauna’s own. And, before Shauna can even say anything to that, Jackie is sliding her bra off
her arms and tossing it onto the floor.

Shauna swears all of the air leaves her lungs.

It’s not like she hasn’t seen Jackie’s boobs before; Shauna’s seen plenty of hints of them, between
changing together in the locker room and changing together before parties. But, she’s never seen
them like this before. Never up-close and personal, practically right in her face. Never with Jackie
sitting in her lap, blushing at her all adorably. Like, this was so different— so brand new.
Everything between them has drastically changed, but to Shauna, it feels like they were always
meant to be like this. Whatever like this really even meant.

“You’re so beautiful,” Shauna whispers— gaze flickering back up, to meet Jackie’s. She grins
down shyly at Shauna, then leans in and kisses Shauna heatedly. Her hands quickly dart upward to
cup Shauna’s jaw, as she groans lightly into Shauna’s mouth.

“You can touch me,” Jackie pants, pulling away from Shauna’s mouth a little bit. The words
immediately send Shauna’s pulse racing, her heart clamoring in its cage faster than it ever has
before. Shauna swallows down the lump in her throat and slowly bobs her head in response, just to
prove to Jackie that she heard her. “I want you to.”

Shauna practically moans over Jackie’s words alone, before trailing her lips down the side of her
neck. She swirls her tongue right beneath Jackie’s jaw as she tentatively reaches a hand up,
clumsily cupping one of Jackie’s breasts. They’re so close that Shauna can legitimately feel a
shiver shoot up Jackie’s spine, which only encourages Shauna to continue on with her
ministrations.
She grazes Jackie’s peaked nipple with the pad of her thumb, eliciting a soft moan to involuntarily
escape from Jackie’s mouth— before Jackie could even attempt to bite it back. The sound sends a
wave of heat coursing through Shauna's entire body; so, Shauna decides to trail her lips down
further, kissing towards Jackie’s chest. She pinches Jackie's nipple roughly as she nips and sucks
on flawless tan skin, leaving purple bruises all over Jackie's slender collarbones.

“Fuck,” Jackie whines, desperately fisting a hand into Shauna’s hair. She practically wheezes as
Shauna drops her hand from her chest, just so she has room to trail her kisses even lower. So,
Shauna nips at the sensitive skin near the top of Jackie’s breasts, before dipping her head down and
latching her lips fully around a nipple— sucking on it hard. Jackie tosses her head back, moaning
loud, as her hips automatically jolt forward. Of course, in seconds, Shauna’s scrambling to grab
ahold of them— guiding her into another grind. “Shauna,” she gasps, rolling her hips harder into
Shauna’s lap. Shauna nods against her boob in response, even as she continues to suck roughly on
Jackie’s nipple. “I want to try… want to try something. I’ve only ever wanted to try this with—
with you… baby.”

Baby?

Shauna quickly pulls back, desperately attempting to ignore the newfound ache that has arisen in
her chest, in response to Jackie’s words. She squints her brown eyes at Jackie’s flushed face in
complete and utter confusion, searching desperately for an answer to the question that had wormed
its way into the forefront of her mind.

Does the pet name thing mean something?

Jackie just stares back at Shauna with a blank expression on her face, as she anxiously gnaws at the
inside of her cheek. Clearly, Shauna was not going to get an answer to that question without
legitimately prying it out of Jackie. “Jax, why did you—”

“Shauna! Your father is here to wish you a ‘happy birthday!’ Come downstairs, please!”

She can literally feel Jackie outwardly cringe against her, as soon as she hears her mother’s words
float upstairs. Perfect fucking timing.

“Yeah, alright Mom! Coming!” Shauna yells back, sounding way more agitated than she means to.
God, even without purposely trying to, her fucking dad manages to ruin everything. Like, of course,
Jackie is quickly clambering right out of her lap and getting dressed. “Hey,” she murmurs to Jackie,
rolling off the bed. “I’ll be right back. Just stay here for a few,” Shauna says, snatching her own
clothes off the floor. She tugs her shirt over her head as Jackie reclasps her bra and throws her own
shirt on. “I just really want to talk to you about—”

“I should go, anyways,” Jackie automatically says, sliding her jeans back on. Shauna instinctively
gapes at Jackie, but mirrors her behavior— tugging her own jeans back on. “Practice is early as
hell tomorrow… and as Team Captain, it is my duty to set an example for everyone else. I can’t be
late, Shipman.”

“But… the whole plan for tonight was for you to sleep—”

“This is probably a better plan, honestly. That way we won’t both be tired tomorrow,” Jackie
quickly supplies, zipping her pants back up. Then, right as Shauna begins to open her mouth in
retortion, Jackie closes the distance between them. She places a quick kiss on Shauna’s lips, then
books it for the ladder. “Hope you had a good birthday, Shipman!” Jackie hurriedly proclaims,
shimmying down the ladder. “Love ya!”
 It’s nothing like the last time Jackie said it, in any shape or form. This time, those words rush out of
Jackie’s mouth so hastily, that they almost sound like they’re a complete afterthought. Almost like
she just tacked them onto a sentence, because she felt like she had to. It was almost like Jackie felt
like she owed it to Shauna— like she had to say those words out of moral obligation— even if she
didn’t actually mean them.

“Love you too,” Shauna automatically blurts out, into her now empty bedroom. She glances around
it in a daze, making no effort to chase after Jackie, even though she can hear her briefly chatting
with her parents downstairs.

The sound of the front door slamming closed snaps Shauna right out of her daze, and also alerts her
to the fact that Jackie has left. Shauna takes a deep breath, before rubbing her hands over her foggy
eyes.

Even though she is officially a year older, Shauna doesn’t feel any wiser. If anything, Shauna
suddenly feels stupider, which she can thank Jackie for. Like, honestly, what the fuck was that?
Shauna was legitimately so fucking confused by Jackie’s weird-ass behavior, that she didn’t know
how or where to begin even attempting to decipher it.

So, yeah. Maybe her eighteenth birthday wasn’t her best birthday of all time, after all.

Chapter End Notes

we are getting so so close to the day before the plane crash/the plane crash ladies and
gents...

up next: winning nationals/a celebration at lottie's house, which leads to a fun little
l*** c*********.
 i think i'm in love with you
Chapter Summary

“Because I— I just…” Jackie stubbornly murmurs, huffing against Shauna’s chest.

Shauna can feel how frustrated Jackie is with herself— can sense how much she is
struggling to say what it is that she wants to say— so Shauna plants a reassuring kiss
on the crown of her head. “I didn’t want to have to split my free time between the two
of you, anymore. I’d rather… I’d rather just be with you, all the time. Instead of
having to— having to split my time equally… between you and Jeff.”

“Oh," Shauna dumbly states, like that is the correct response to Jackie admitting that
she prefers hanging out with her over hanging out with her long-term boyfriend. Like,
as soon as that word escapes Shauna’s mouth, she literally wants to punch herself. “I
um— thank you?” Shauna quickly supplies, right before immediately regretting it.
Right, because that’s a more suitable response. Good one, Shauna!

Or: Jackie finally confesses her true feelings.

Chapter Notes

had to get this one out today, in honor of sisterly love. bless.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

May 31st, 1996

Cleats scuffle against the notoriously shoddy grass blanketing Schaeffer Field, churning up clumps
of soil in their wake. Parents scream from the bleachers, chanting a hodge-podge of different
names. And, lingering even closer to Shauna’s eardrums, rings a cacophony of frustrated grunts
and huffs. Everything around her is so overwhelmingly loud and disjointed, that Shauna swears she
can’t even hear herself think.

But then, it suddenly all just… stops.

Shauna swears that time completely slows down— swears that everything practically freezes— as
soon as Tai sends that black and white speckled ball hurtling towards the net. It’s almost like she’s
watching that soccer ball soar through the air in slow-motion, frame-by-frame. And, Shauna
suddenly realizes that she can’t hear anything, besides her own heartbeat thumping loudly in her
ears.

Time basically stands still for Shauna… until that ball flies straight into the side of Jackie’s skull
with a loud smack. It skillfully ricochets right off of her head, landing directly into the corner of the
goal.

And, just as suddenly, Shauna’s entire world rushes back to life.

Cheers and applause erupt from the bleachers behind her, at a near ear-deafening volume. Misty
fucking Quigley is jumping around like a jack-rabbit on the sidelines, while Coach Martinez and
Coach Scott embrace with smiles on their faces. Jackie is covering her mouth with her hands,
staring at the goal in equal parts excitement and shock.

Before Shauna even really registers that she is doing it, she’s practically sprinting right at Jackie.
It’s like her legs somehow instinctively know what they need to do, leaving her literal Ivy League-
level brain to play catch up.

Of course, Shauna’s brain eventually does manage to catch up. Once she gets closer to Jackie, it’s
like all of Shauna’s synapses are suddenly working in overdrive, encouraging her to wrap Jackie up
in a literal bear hug. Shauna swears she can feel her cheeks starting to sting— like, that’s how hard
she’s smiling— as she squeezes Jackie so fucking tightly.

“Told you I could smell the Seattle air from here,” Jackie murmurs with a giggle, directly into
Shauna’s ear. She wraps her own arms around Shauna’s back, before trailing her hands up and
down Shauna’s sweat-covered jersey. “How’s it feel? You know… being a New Jersey state
champ?”

Shauna huffs a quiet laugh through her nose as she pulls back a bit, just to sneak a peek at Jackie’s
face. She keeps her arms wrapped tightly around Jackie’s lean frame, automatically smiling even
harder as she gazes into twinkling hazel eyes. Of course, Jackie is matching her enthusiasm
tenfold, beaming up at Shauna with her cute little nose all scrunched up.

And, fuck. Jackie is so overwhelmingly beautiful with her flushed face, messy ponytail, and toothy
grin. Like, obviously, Jackie is always so cute and so pretty all the fucking time— but there’s just
something about how exhilarated Jackie currently looks that makes Shauna’s heart melt. Well, not
only does it make her heart melt, but it also makes Shauna want to kiss her… like, really fucking
badly.

It’s probably the worst, most irrational idea that Shauna’s ever had in her eighteen years of life;
like, somehow, Shauna considers kissing Jackie in public to be more destructive than sleeping with
Jeff or lying about Brown. If Shauna was to give in to her urge to kiss Jackie right now, she would
be doing it in front of legitimately everyone; her parents, Jackie’s parents, Jeff, their teammates,
half of their classmates at Wiskayok, and the entire NJSIAA would all bear witness to the most
earth-shattering kiss ever. And, well. Jackie would probably kill her for exposing their dirty little
secret so frivolously, to half their town.

Usually, Shauna’s so refined— so adept at hiding her innermost feelings— that she hardly ever
acts on impulse. It’s only when she’s got some liquid courage in her that Shauna starts to make
decisions impulsively and explosively, leaving tremendous damage in her wake.

But, Shauna isn’t drunk at some random house party right now; Shauna is currently standing on a
soccer field, completely sober.

She brushes a wayward piece of sweaty hair out of Jackie’s face, right before tucking another
errant strand behind her ear. Jackie practically hums.

Well, apparently, even sober Shauna lacks the willpower to fight this massive itch. Like, maybe
Jackie Taylor is somehow more intoxicating than all of the different types of liquor that Shauna has
had the (dis)pleasure of drinking.

She closes her eyes and leans in, actively choosing to ignore the little voice in her head that seems
to be begging her not to do this. Shauna swears it sounds an awful lot like Jackie’s actual voice.
But, well. Fortunately— or unfortunately, depending on who you ask— Shauna is rendered
physically unable to kiss Jackie, in the blink of an eye.

Lottie leaps at Shauna’s back and wraps her arms around her from behind, right before Shauna can
bridge the small gap between her and Jackie’s lips. The rest of the team follows right behind her,
entrapping both her and Jackie in a circle of enthusiastic chants and cheers.

“Buzz buzz buzz!”

"We’re going to Nationals!” Shauna hears herself shout, as the rest of her teammates begin to jump
and twirl in sheer joy.

But, Shauna’s eyes linger on Jackie, who remains frozen in place. Jackie’s face is blank and her
eyes are glued to Shauna’s own, almost like she doesn’t even register the cheerful chaos erupting
around them. It’s like they’re the only two people at Schaeffer Field, standing on patchy grass and
relishing in today’s gorgeous weather.

Maybe if Shauna didn’t instinctively close her eyes, she could have seen Jackie’s reaction to their
almost-public-kiss. Like, maybe she was gearing up to close her eyes and lean in, too. Maybe
Jackie was ready to act with reckless abandon, just like Shauna was.

Well, based on the shell-shocked look still covering Jackie’s face, Shauna deduces that the answer
to that last one was probably a resounding no. And, Shauna also reasons that Jackie probably didn’t
close her eyes and lean in, either. If anything, Jackie probably grimaced and moved her lips away
from Shauna’s, in an attempt to save both of their asses.

It was such a stupid (near) decision, and Shauna was supposed to know better. She’s suddenly
thankful for Lottie fucking Matthews, who inadvertently saved both her and Jackie’s asses from
public scrutiny. Like, ever since the whole baby debacle, Jackie has already been keeping her
distance. They’ve barely hung out in the last two-ish weeks and— during the few times Shauna’s
managed to convince Jackie to come over— they haven’t progressed past making out. It’s like ever
since Shauna’s birthday, Jackie has been purposely avoiding her like the plague; Jackie always
makes up some bullshit excuse to pretend like she’s busy whenever Shauna asks to hang out, or—
on the off chance that she actually does come over— Jackie just sits near Shauna in complete and
utter silence.

And, well. If Jackie was already slowly losing interest and attempting to gradually let Shauna down
gently, she figures that this near incident probably pushed Jackie right over the edge.

So, Shauna figures that she’s going to get an absolute earful from Jackie at Lottie’s victory party,
later. And, honestly, Shauna would not be all that shocked if Jackie decided to end their little
arrangement— once and for all— after Shauna’s near mishap.

God, what if she never got to kiss Jackie again?

Well, that sure was starting to look like a genuine possibility to Shauna.

Case in point: Shauna’s nursing her third Bacardi Breezer of the night in Lottie’s packed living
room, while debating the Yellowjackets’ chances at winning Nationals with Tai. She’s been talking
to Tai— for the past hour and a half— about an assortment of different things, in order to combat
her newfound urge to search the Matthews’ entire McMansion for Jackie.

Although Shauna literally drove her here, to their state championship victory party, Jackie has
somehow managed to avoid running into Shauna all night long. Of course, Lottie’s house is
gigantic and currently packed to the brim with an assortment of drunk teens, but Shauna still
considers it an impressive feat.

Like, literally as soon as they stepped through the Matthews’ mahogany front door two hours ago,
Jackie was off and running. Shauna watched— in equal parts astonishment and anger— as Jackie
made a direct beeline for Natalie fucking Scatorccio… of all people.

It was so odd, especially since all Jackie ever did was bitch about Nat and her “lack of team
spirit.” But, apparently, Jackie suddenly no longer gave a fucking shit about Nat’s horrendous
habit of skipping soccer practice just to go smoke a bowl. Nope, evidently, Nat was Jackie’s brand-
new, most favorite person in the entire world.

This little theory was supported by the way Jackie unceremoniously ditched Shauna— leaving her
to awkwardly stand there, in the Matthews’ obscenely large entryway— just to go excitedly
whisper something into Natalie’s ear. And then, just as suddenly, Natalie was glancing over
Jackie’s shoulder and shooting a sly grin in Shauna’s general direction.

Shauna could literally feel her face burning bright red as Nat kept her eyes trained on hers, almost
like she was challenging Shauna to do something. It was almost like Nat wanted Shauna to storm
over to where she and Jackie were standing, just to make a scene and lay some kind of weird claim
on Jackie.

But, Shauna figured that she was just imagining it; like, Shauna was obviously just allowing her
feelings of jealousy to get right to her head, granting them permission to manipulate her beliefs. It
wasn’t like Natalie actually knew about Shauna and Jackie’s whole friends with benefits thing,
because Natalie definitely would’ve made some snide comment by now if she actually did.
Natalie’s snarky nature was notorious around the hallways of Wiskayok High School, making it a
fairly well-known facet of her personality. So, Shauna knew that if Natalie did genuinely know the
truth, she would’ve definitely said something by now. As a result, Shauna’s ridiculous theory that
Natalie was challenging her was rendered practically impossible, in the span of five seconds.

Consequently, instead of approaching Natalie and Jackie with fire coming out of her ears, Shauna
opted to just glare at Natalie in return. But apparently, that was also the wrong fucking move,
because that just led to Natalie winking right at Shauna with this shit-eating grin on her face. And
then, before Shauna could even begin to consider her next move in their weird game of
psychological chess, Natalie was snatching Jackie’s wrist and tugging her down the hall.

And, well. Shauna hasn’t seen Jackie— or stupid fucking Natalie— since then. So, of course, the
fact that Jackie’s been missing with fucking Natalie for nearly two hours makes Shauna’s mind
absolutely spiral. Like, what the fuck were they up to?

“So, yeah. I don’t think we have a shot if Allie continues playing like she has money down on our
opponents. What do you think, Shauna?” rings the exasperated voice of Tai, snapping her right out
of her Jackie Taylor-induced trance. Fuck. She just completely zoned out, way too busy
contemplating Jackie’s bizarre behavior to actually concentrate on her conversation with Tai.
“What’s your take on our little freshman from Hell?”

“I think Allie, uh—” Shauna mumbles, taking a sip from her drink. “I think she’s good… for a
freshman…” she trails off, earning an eager head nod from Tai in response. So, she rambles on,
laying the hammer down on Allie. “But, I don’t get why Coach Martinez put her on varsity. We
have enough juniors on JV waiting to get spots on varsity… it just doesn’t make any sense.”

“Jesus Christ,” Tai proclaims, smiling widely and holding her arms up to the sky. “I’m so glad
somebody finally agrees with me. I was telling Van earlier that if we lose Nationals, it’ll definitely
be Allie’s fault, and she got so pissed at me. Like, it’s not my fault that little miss desperate to be
popular has absolutely zero ball control skills.”

“She just… she shouldn’t be starting,” Shauna admits with a deep sigh, surveying the room for
what feels like the one-hundredth time tonight. Yet again, still no sign of Jackie, though. “If
anything, she should be on the bench, paying her dues. Carrying equipment, refilling the water jug,
setting up cones…” Shauna trails off, meeting Tai’s delighted gaze. “You know… like all the
stupid shit we did as freshman.”

“This is exactly what I’ve been saying!” Tai states, playfully shoving Shauna’s shoulder. Shauna
smiles around the rim of her Bacardi Breezer, taking a long sip in response to Tai’s words. “Hey,
you should talk to Jackie… maybe she could convince Coach to put Allie on the bench,” Tai
proclaims, spurring Shauna’s stomach to drop. Like, at this point, Shauna didn’t even know if she
and Jackie were actually on speaking terms. It felt like their entire friendship was suddenly
hanging by a goddamn thread, all over again. “What?” Tai exclaims, clearly misreading the
grimace that had worked its way onto Shauna’s pale face. “She’s got the charm and I know he’ll
listen to what his favorite little team captain has to say.”

“Ok, but like… Jackie and I are kind of…” Shauna trails off, provoking an impatient gesture to
continue from Tai. “Everything is just… really fucked up, right now. She’s just been super weird,”
Shauna adds, watching as Tai’s face screws up in utter bewilderment. Like, Tai suddenly looks so
frazzled and confused, that it’s like she has no idea where Shauna could be going with this one.
“It’s like… fuck. I just— I really don’t know what Jackie wants from me, anymore. I don’t even
know if we’re really even friends any—”

"Shauna!”

Speak of the devil.

Shauna hesitantly gazes over Tai’s shoulder— outwardly wincing a bit— as she watches Jackie
drunkenly stumble towards her. She has this huge dopey grin on her face and is looking at Shauna
with her patented puppy-dog eyes, confirming all of Shauna’s suspicions about her current
intoxication level in seconds. Jackie is absolutely fucking trashed— like, she’s worse than
Shauna’s ever seen her before— with glazed-over eyes and a drunken gait. Jesus Christ.

Before Shauna can even really react, Jackie is flinging herself right at her, wrapping her bony arms
around Shauna’s neck and hanging onto her like a baby monkey. “I was looking for you
everywhere, Shipman,” Jackie drunkenly slurs, tucking her face right into Shauna’s neck. Shauna
knows it’s absolute bullshit— knows if Jackie really wanted to find her, she definitely would have
— especially since she hasn’t moved from her current spot in nearly two hours. But, whatever. “I
missed you,” Jackie quietly murmurs, somehow pressing her lethargic body even closer to Shauna’s
own.

And, that’s when Shauna smells it, as clear as fucking day. Her stomach tightens a bit, as the lethal
mixture of weed and Aftershock on Jackie’s breath wafts right into her own nostrils. Now, Shauna
at least knows what Jackie and Natalie were up to, exactly.

“You’re fucking crossed,” Shauna mutters with a sigh, pulling back to study Jackie’s face. And,
sure enough, all the signs are there; her eyes are bloodshot, her grin grows wider, and she just
giggles in response to Shauna’s words. And just as suddenly, Shauna wants to slap Natalie fucking
Scatorccio in the face, all over again. Shauna instinctively loops her arms around Jackie’s waist,
tightening her grip to keep Jackie standing upright, as she bitterly shakes her head. “Why— why
are you acting like—”
“I can drive you guys home if you want, Shauna. I was gonna leave soon, anyway. Plus… good old
‘Cap looks like she could use some rest.” Right… Tai.

Jackie instantly straightens up in Shauna’s arms, limp body going absolutely rigid as Tai’s words
finally seem to alert Jackie to her presence. She slowly unwinds one arm from around Shauna’s
neck and shifts around a bit, just to offer Tai a bitter side-eye. “I’m fine, Taissa. Shauna and I are
actually in the middle of something, right now,” Jackie rasps with narrowed eyes, prompting a
scoff to escape Tai’s lips. She then makes a vague gesture at all the drunk party people, stumbling
a bit over Shauna’s feet as she does so. Shauna’s grip around her waist tightens to keep her from
falling, while Tai makes absolutely no effort to see what it is that Jackie is motioning to. Instead,
Tai simply crosses her arms over her chest, aggravated gaze alternating between Jackie and Shauna.
“So, maybe you could like… I don’t know. Leave us to talk?”

“Hey, Jackie. Wanna hear a really fun fact?” Tai sharply states, jaw clenching as Jackie responds
to her with a sneer and an obnoxious head nod. Shauna sighs, before hesitantly removing one of her
hands from Jackie’s waist. She rubs at one of her temples viciously, in an attempt to soothe the
throbbing ache that has made its way into her head. But, of course, Tai seems to exacerbate
Shauna’s headache— and Jackie’s arbitrary bout of annoyance— with her words. “Shauna and I
were actually in the middle of something… before you decided to come over here,” Tai spits,
provoking a scowl to formulate on Jackie’s tanned features. Then, Jackie is twisting back around
and glaring at Shauna, teeth clenched in a clear display of misplaced anger. Shauna awkwardly
smiles at her in response— totally flustered by Jackie’s sudden mood swing— which just seems to
piss Jackie off even more. “So, how about you wait for me and Shauna to finish talking, and then
you two can talk once I drop you off… at your fucking house.”

“Yeah, alright,” Jackie grumbles, right before unlooping her arm from around Shauna’s neck. She
then bats the hand Shauna still has planted on her waist away, stumbling a bit over her own feet, as
soon as her sluggish body is left unsupported. “Have a great talk,” Jackie bitterly hisses, glowering
right at Tai. Before Shauna can even attempt to open her mouth and ask Jackie what right she has to
be pissed at her, Jackie is twisting back around and flipping Shauna the bird.

Not even a moment later, Jackie is drunkenly stumbling away, attempting to make a break for the
kitchen. But, thankfully for Shauna, the alcohol has apparently slowed down Jackie’s synapses to
an extensive degree— preventing her from getting very far, very fast. So, it doesn’t take much time
or effort for both Shauna and Tai to catch up to Jackie, carelessly pushing sweaty bodies out of
their pathway toward her.

As soon as Shauna manages to reach her, she immediately slides an arm around Jackie’s shoulders
— pulling her limp body snuggly against her side. She presses her face to the side of Jackie’s head,
burying her nose in light brown hair, as she lets out a deep sigh. “Jax. Please can you just let Tai
drive us home?” Shauna whispers, feeling the tell-tale shake of Jackie’s head— in response. She
pulls her head away to get a look at her, right as Jackie decides to wrap her arms loosely around
Shauna’s waist. “C’mon, Jax. Let’s just go to yours and go to bed,” Shauna pleads, prompting a
pouty little look to develop on Jackie’s face.

With absolutely zero patience or energy left for Jackie’s bullshit, Shauna glances over her shoulder,
gazing at Tai with pleading eyes. Tai immediately rolls her own and inches closer to Jackie and
Shauna, whipping out her car keys without much hesitation. “Jackie…” Tai practically hums,
jangling her keys near Jackie’s ear. Shauna shoots Tai a level look, ignoring the disgruntled little
whine that escapes Jackie’s throat. “Time for you to go to your house and talk to Shauna all you
want…” Tai sing-songs, which finally seems to get Jackie to perk up a bit. “All you need to do is
stop being a gigantic pain in the ass, and get in my car. Can you do that? ”
Jackie turns to her right, staring directly into Tai’s eyes, as she obediently bobs her head. “Mhm…”
Jackie slurs at Tai, before turning to face Shauna again. “I want to talk to you… really bad,” Jackie
mumbles, a shy smile playing at the corners of her lips. Shauna bobs her own head reluctantly at
Jackie, desperately fighting the urge to ask Jackie why she just decided to give her emotional
whiplash.

Thankfully, Tai doesn’t grant Shauna much time to ruminate on that thought, pacing forward and
whipping her keys around in the air. “Alright, troops. Let’s get out of here,” Tai announces,
twisting back around to haughtily grin at Shauna. Shauna rolls her eyes, before tightening her grasp
on Jackie’s shoulder. She holds Jackie close to her side as she guides her toward the front door,
shouldering a bit past Tai in the process.

As soon as Shauna successfully manages to haul Jackie’s lethargic body through the entryway and
to the front door, Tai strides up behind Shauna and pops it open for them. “Thanks for everything
Tai,” Shauna mumbles over her shoulder, hoping Tai can hear her over the music blaring in the
living room.

“Yeah. It’s no problem,” Tai breezily states, as Shauna freezes in the doorway. Shauna readjusts
her hold on Jackie, mentally preparing to navigate her deadweight to the car, right as Tai leans in to
whisper in Shauna’s ear. “Now… what were you saying earlier about her acting weird as fuck? She
seems to be her normal, annoying self to me...” Tai snarks, pulling back with a smirk on her face.

Shauna lets out a dejected huff, ignoring the way Jackie conveniently leans her face into the crook
of Shauna’s neck and burrows herself further into Shauna’s side, as soon as those words pour out of
Tai’s mouth. “Just… forget it,” Shauna mumbles, steering Jackie’s drunk ass right out of the
Matthews’ front door. “We just need to get her wasted ass home.”

And of course, as she and Tai struggle to heave Jackie’s limp body into the backseat of Tai’s Jeep
Wrangler, Shauna finds her mind spiraling.

It wasn’t like Jackie explicitly indicated to Shauna what she apparently needed to discuss with her,
but Shauna wasn’t stupid. Shauna has enough brain cells to infer what she and Jackie will be
talking about, as soon as they arrive at the Taylors’ picturesque colonial.

If Jackie’s sudden need to get absolutely crossed out of her fucking mind— before speaking to
Shauna, or even looking in Shauna’s general direction— was of any indication, their upcoming
conversation was definitely going to be a tough one.

So, yeah. Shauna could feel her heart sink— all the way into her Converse-covered feet— at the
painful realization of what was certainly waiting for her— in Jackie’s pastel bedroom.

Jackie would undoubtedly be announcing to Shauna that they would never, ever be sharing a kiss
again.

“I am so not going to bed yet,” Jackie firmly announces, crossing her arms over her chest and
jutting her lip out like a petulant, pouting child. “I think we should…” Jackie slurs, glancing
around her room in a daze. As soon as her hazel eyes land on the boombox on top of her dresser,
Shauna internally cringes, knowing damn well what’s next. “Dance!”

Shauna deeply sighs and rubs at her tired eyes in annoyance, but makes absolutely zero effort to
stop Jackie. Instead, she remains perched on Jackie’s queen-sized bed, watching as Jackie giddily
darts across her bedroom— straight for the boombox. “You’re trashed, Jax. And I think you
should… sleep it all off,” Shauna grumbles, as Jackie whips a brand-new cassette tape out of an
unmarked case. She puts on this over-the-top, dramatic display while presenting it to Shauna—
grinning wildly and irritatingly waving it right in Shauna’s face— before finally popping it into the
boombox. “The sooner you go to bed, the sooner we can talk about whatever it is we need to talk
about,” Shauna trails off, watching as Jackie jabs a button on the boombox. “You’ll sober up faster
if you just—”

Don't ask me, what you know is true.

“See? It’s our song,” Jackie excitedly announces, prompting Shauna’s head to spin in utter
confusion. Like, Shauna swears she can feel her brain doing somersaults, as she attempts to analyze
Jackie’s words. She had legitimately no idea that she and Jackie even had a song, let alone that
their song was “Never Tear Us Apart.” Like, Shauna really could not believe that Jackie felt like
their little arrangement was meaningful and special enough, to be worthy of commemorating. And
evidently, her confusion must be abundantly apparent on her face, because Jackie is quick to open
her mouth and fill in all of the blanks for Shauna. “Remember? In the car, on our way to New
York…” Jackie exasperatedly states, like she can’t believe Shauna has somehow forgotten their
song.

“I um— yeah. I remember… Jax,” Shauna manages to stammer out, because she does remember.
She vividly recalls Jackie cranking up her car radio and blasting this song at maximum volume, in
order to avoid a Jeff-centric debate. “But I didn’t— didn’t know you…” Shauna trails off, cheeks
heating up as Jackie paces back over to the bed.

Don't have to tell you, I love your precious heart.

“You literally have to dance with me, Shipman,” Jackie firmly declares, grabbing Shauna by the
hands. Somehow, Jackie’s drunk ass manages to pull Shauna upright and off the bed, which
probably would have shocked Shauna more than it does— if her brain wasn’t already completely
occupied. Like, Shauna genuinely believed that Jackie wanted to talk to her about ending their little
arrangement, especially because of how weird things had recently been between them. But now,
apparently, Jackie and Shauna had a song; they had a song, which Jackie currently wanted to
dance to, with Shauna. It didn’t make any sense, in any shape or form. “C’mon… get into the
groove.”

“I— I… what?” Shauna stutters, staring at Jackie in complete disbelief. Jackie says absolutely
nothing in response, simply choosing to answer Shauna’s question by smiling and dropping
Shauna’s hands. Then, in seconds, she is wrapping her arms loosely around Shauna’s neck and
resting her head against Shauna’s chest. “Jax, I thought… I thought you wanted to talk.”

I was standing. You were there. Two worlds collided. And they could never tear us apart.

“Mhm…” Jackie hums, before burrowing her face even further into Shauna’s chest. At this point,
Jackie’s face is completely hidden from Shauna’s view, in a way that almost feels purposeful. “I do
want to talk… but you think that I’m too drunk to talk. So, which is it, Shipman?” Jackie rasps,
slowly swaying them side-to-side— in rhythm to the beat of the song. “Do you want to wait until
the morning… or are you gonna let me fucking talk?”

“If you’re ready to talk and want to talk, right now…” Shauna murmurs, instinctively placing her
hands on Jackie’s waist. Jackie just hums in response, and Shauna swears she can feel Jackie’s lips
upturn into a little smile against her chest. “Then, yeah. Talk, Jax. I just didn’t know if you would
be… sober enough. Like, to get your point across, I mean.”

We could live, for a thousand years. But if I hurt you I'd make wine from your tears
“Well…” Jackie drunkenly slurs, continuing to lackadaisically sway her hips. “I just wanted to tell
you… that I lied to you,” Jackie cautiously admits, prompting Shauna to tighten her hold on her
waist. She sinks her nails into Jackie’s jean-covered hips, attempting to bite back the bile rising in
her throat. Shauna knew she was a hypocrite— knew it was so ironic that those simple words
managed to make her so unreasonably angry— especially since all she ever did was lie to Jackie’s
face. But they did, anyway. “And I’m really sorry.”

“About… about what?” Shauna breathlessly asks, sounding absolutely desperate. This had to be
about why she was so quick to leave Shauna’s house on her birthday, right? Like, Jackie was
finally going to come clean as to why she ditched Shauna, leaving her high and dry with some
lame-ass excuse. Maybe, Jackie was finally going to come clean about why she had been so distant
lately, too. “What did you lie to me about, Jackie?”

I told you, that we could fly. 'Cause we all have wings… but some of us don't know why.

“I didn’t…” Jackie trails off, sucking in a deep breath. She seems really stressed out all of a
sudden, so Shauna instinctively trails her hands upward, rubbing reassuring circles along her spine.
“I didn’t tell you the truth— well, like, the whole truth— about why I decided to take a break…
from Jeff. It wasn’t— it wasn’t just because I wanted to focus on soccer.” Oh.

“Well, if it— if it wasn’t just because you wanted to concentrate all of your free time on getting us
to Nationals…” Shauna trails off, automatically pressing her lips to the crown of Jackie’s head.
“Which uh… you literally did, by the way,” Shauna teases, feeling Jackie smirk against her chest in
response. “Then um… why else did you decide to take a break from Jeff?”

I was standing. You were there.

“Because I— I just…” Jackie stubbornly murmurs, huffing against Shauna’s chest. Shauna can feel
how frustrated Jackie is with herself— can sense how much she is struggling to say what it is that
she wants to say— so Shauna plants a reassuring kiss on the crown of her head. “I didn’t want to
have to split my free time between the two of you, anymore. I’d rather… I’d rather just be with
you, all the time. Instead of having to— having to split my time equally… between you and Jeff.”

“Oh," Shauna dumbly states, like that is the correct response to Jackie admitting that she prefers
hanging out with her over hanging out with her long-term boyfriend. Like, as soon as that word
escapes Shauna’s mouth, she literally wants to punch herself. “I um— thank you?” Shauna quickly
supplies, right before immediately regretting it. Right, because that’s a more suitable response.
Good one, Shauna! “But like… why?” Shauna hears herself instinctively asking, although she
doesn’t actually mean to. But of course, now that she’s opened her mouth, she can’t fucking close
it. “I thought— don’t you really like Jeff? You don’t— you don’t have to hang out with me more,
just because you feel guilty or something. It’s not… like if you got back together with—”

“Shauna… I think I love you. Like… I think I’m in love with you.”

Two worlds collided. And they could never, ever tear us apart.

Oh.

Shauna is physically unable to bring herself to speak; like, it’s almost like her notoriously
problematic, Ivy League-level brain has suddenly short-circuited. She can feel her heart pulsing
erratically within its cage, beating so loudly that she figures Jackie must hear it, especially with
how Jackie's head is still tucked against her chest. Her ears are ringing, similar to how they did
after seeing Alanis Morissette at PNC with Jackie, for her birthday.
I (Don't ask me). I was standing (You know it's true).

And of course, Jackie misreads her silence, presumably assuming that Shauna suddenly doesn’t
feel the same way. Although Shauna was the one who said it first— literally months ago, in Mari's
bathroom, to absolutely zero fanfare— Jackie is the one suddenly freaking the fuck out and
incoherently rambling in pure panic.

“I— you don’t… you don’t have to feel the same way, Shauna. I just— I just thought maybe…
maybe you did. Because of um… well. You said it, at Mari’s,” Jackie incoherently stammers, voice
squeaking higher and higher as she goes on. “But like… I know that was months ago, and I know
that you were drunk when you said it. So if you don’t— if you didn’t mean it, um. If you didn’t
mean it, it’s… ok,” Jackie stammers, and Shauna swears she can feel the fabric of her shirt
dampening— right near where Jackie’s face is.

Mm, you were there (Worlds collided). Two worlds collided (We're shining through).

“And I— I know I’m drunk… like, right now— but, Shauna. I mean it. Like… I really think I love
you, Shauna. I didn’t— I didn’t mean to, though. I promise you,” Jackie wails, unlooping one of
her arms from Shauna’s neck before fisting her hand right into the fabric of Shauna’s shirt. Oh.
Shauna finally gathers that Jackie definitely is crying, if the muted sob she suddenly lets out is any
indication. “Shauna… I didn’t mean to be like this. I don’t want to be like this. I’m so, so sorry.
Shauna, you don’t even know how sorry I am… for everything. For being weird on your birthday,
for ditching you for the last few weeks, for trying to coerce you into saying it first. I— I just
freaked out, Shauna. I didn't know... how to say it. I didn't... I wish I didn't say it or— or feel it. I’m
sorry, Shaun—”

“I know I love you, Jackie.”

And they could never tear us apart.

In seconds, INXS’ vocals and Jackie’s muted sobs both cease to continue, filling her pastel
bedroom with a stale silence. Besides a few sniffles here and there, Jackie remains absolutely
silent, similar to how Shauna reacted to Jackie’s earlier confession. Then, Shauna feels Jackie
loosen her grip on Shauna's shirt, which encourages Shauna to press a reassuring kiss on the crown
of her head again.

“You— you do?” Jackie hoarsely murmurs, face still hidden against the fabric of Shauna’s shirt.
Shauna nods in response, right against the top of Jackie’s skull, knowing that Jackie must feel it.
“And you’re— you're sure? Like… positive?”

“Yes, Jackie. I’m really sure. Totally positive,” Shauna states, giggling a bit in disbelief. She
cranes her neck back a bit, running a hand through Jackie’s hair. “Jax… look at me, real quick,”
Shauna murmurs, prompting a little whine out of Jackie. But, sure enough, Jackie lifts her head
from Shauna’s chest. Her eyes are all red-rimmed, there are some tears still lingering on her
cheeks, and her entire face is bright red. Shauna thinks Jackie might look even more beautiful right
now— with her glazed-over eyes, tear-stained face, and stuffed-up nose— than she did earlier, after
literally winning the Yellowjackets a state title. So, yet again, Shauna feels the sudden urge to kiss
her. “I love you, Jackie,” Shauna firmly states, provoking a teary grin to formulate on Jackie’s
face.

Shauna grins back, before abruptly screwing her eyes shut and leaning forward, so eager to do what
she’s wanted to do all fucking day. But, as soon as their noses nudge together, Jackie is planting a
firm hand on Shauna’s chest and gently pushing her away.
 Of course, Shauna is confused all over again, furrowing her eyebrows and gaping at Jackie in utter
bewilderment. Thankfully, Jackie is quick to fill her in, yet again. “I um—” Jackie sniffles, wiping
her nose with the back of her hand. “I’m all like— gross… right now,” Jackie adds, gesturing to her
nose and her cheeks. “Just… give me a few minutes to clean up all my snot, Shipman. That way…
you won’t have to kiss someone who looks like a drowned rat.”

Shauna vehemently shakes her head, grinning so widely at Jackie that her cheeks legitimately
begin to sting. “Jackie…” Shauna murmurs, quickly moving her hands to cup both of Jackie’s
cheeks. “I seriously don’t care. I want to kiss you, right now. So fucking badly,” Shauna firmly
states, brushing away the leftover tears on Jackie’s cheeks— with her thumbs. Jackie loosely
grasps both of Shauna’s wrists, smiling up at her and shaking her head in amazement. “Seriously,
Jackie. I love you… I don’t care. Just let me—”

Jackie leans in, cutting Shauna off by covering Shauna's lips with her own. Shauna smiles right into
it, tightening her hold on Jackie’s cheeks, as she shuffles them both backward. And then, Jackie’s
flopping back onto the mattress with a giggle, dragging Shauna on top of her. They leisurely make
out, holding onto each other for dear life, until Shauna has to break away for air.

“Fuck… Jackie. I love you…” Shauna trails off, propping herself up on her elbow. Jackie gazes up
at her expectantly, quirking up one of her eyebrows, right before running a hand lazily through
Shauna’s hair. “But you need to go to bed. I can literally taste all the weed you and Nat smoked…
and all the Aftershock you drank. Fuck, how do you even drink that cinnamony stuff, anyway?”

“Shauna…” Jackie mumbles, freeing her hand from Shauna’s hair. She moves it to cup the back of
Shauna’s neck, biting down roughly on her own lip. “I love you, too… but shut the fuck up.”

And with that, Jackie pulls Shauna in by the neck, slamming their mouths back together.

So, Shauna clearly didn’t have to worry about never kissing Jackie again, anymore. But, of course,
Shauna still had plenty of other things to worry about...

Consequently, Shauna figures that this somehow makes everything at least two hundred times
more complicated for her, unfortunately.

Chapter End Notes

coming next: the day before the plane crash/the kegger. Jackie does so much fucked
up shit that Shauna snaps, and then goes full-on Regina George burn book-style in her
journal.
 is there so much hate for the ones we love?
Chapter Summary

Shauna yanks the bottle from behind her back, taking another long sip out of it, at the
mere mention of Jackie's name and college plans. She relishes the way the alcohol
stings her throat going down, numbing her mind and her heart from all the bullshit
she’s endured today. “I’m going to Brown,” Shauna nonchalantly says, as soon as
she’s done wincing over the Scotch.

“Like the— like the Ivy League school?” Jeff stupidly asks, looking doe-eyed and
dumb-founded. Almost like he cannot believe that anyone would ever want to— or,
maybe, even have the guts to— leave Wiskayok, New Jersey.

“Yeah. Like the Ivy League school, Jeff,” Shauna murmurs, leaning forward and
thrusting the bottle straight into his chest. He instinctively cradles his arms around it,
allowing her to completely let go of it. “No more New Jersey for me,” Shauna hums,
leaning back on her elbows.

Or: Jackie's indecisiveness leads to Shauna hitting the self-destruct button... hard.

Chapter Notes

this chapter is actually so unhinged im sorry.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

June 1st, 1996

The bedsheets are soft against her hand as she absently runs it across the mattress, seeking out
Jackie’s familiar, smooth skin. But, instead of being greeted by Jackie’s welcoming and warm skin,
Shauna’s palm simply meets the cold and coarse fabric of Jackie’s blue bedsheets.

Consequently, this incredible sense of unease automatically worms its way into the pit of Shauna’s
stomach, tugging roughly at her gut. Jackie is unexpectedly gone— legitimately missing, from her
own bed— literally less than twenty-four hours after telling Shauna that she loves her. And, of
course, this realization sends Shauna’s mind spiraling; like, her brain immediately begins to twist
and turn, probably as fast as the winds of a category five tornado.

Jackie had told Shauna that she loved her while she was crossed out of her fucking mind, a clear
indicator that Jackie was just taking advantage of her lowered inhibitions. Like, maybe Jackie
didn’t actually mean it, but the lethal mixture of substances in her system forced it out of her.
Maybe Jackie merely said it to soothe Shauna’s nerves, attempting to dispel all of Shauna’s
theories about Jackie not wanting to be her friend anymore. Or, maybe— and, this was probably
the worst-case scenario, in Shauna’s opinion— Jackie did purposely say it, but immediately
regretted saying it.
So, with that last thought lingering at the forefront of her exasperated mind, Shauna reluctantly
blinks her eyes open. As she props herself up on her elbows— while desperately attempting to bite
back the bile rising in her throat— Shauna mentally prepares herself to be met with an empty
bedroom.

However, much to Shauna’s shock and amazement, her droopy eyes immediately land on Jackie.
Jackie isn’t laying in bed with her anymore, but she’s still here, fixing her hair in front of her
vanity. Shauna immediately lets out a sigh of relief— her mouth curling up into a smile— as she
realizes that Jackie must’ve deliberately peeled herself out of bed extra carefully, in order to avoid
waking her up.

Jackie must hear Shauna’s loud sigh echo through the quiet morning air, because then she is
whipping her head upward. She holds Shauna’s gaze through the mirror, hazel eyes piercing into
Shauna’s own, even as she continues brushing out her light brown hair.

“Hey,” Jackie quietly murmurs, offering Shauna a shy smile. Shauna matches her grin, rubbing
some of the sleep out of her eyes, as Jackie robotically twists around to face her. “Sorry if I woke
you up. I um…” Jackie trails off, absently licking her lips in thought. “I have a few errands to
run… before we head to practice,” Jackie proclaims, dragging her hairbrush viciously through her
hair— almost like she’s stressed, all of a sudden. “You know… I’ve just gotta— gotta grab some
last-minute shit for Seattle. I definitely won’t have time to go to the store after practice— because
of the fucking kegger— so it’s like… now or never. And uh— I’ve gotta drop by my grandparents’
house, to say bye, real quick. Plus I—”

“Alright, yeah. I mean… I still have to grab all my practice stuff from my house, too,” Shauna
firmly states, in an attempt to soothe Jackie’s nerves and her incoherent rambling. Jackie does
immediately quiet down, shoulders slumping a bit, as she offers Shauna a somewhat dubious smile.
Weird. “So… how about I drive you around? We can drop by my house, and I can grab my stuff.
Then we can make all of your little pitstops… and maybe we can talk about—”

“I think I should probably just… drive myself. I know you still have to pack, and these errands are
gonna take forever,” Jackie firmly states, like it's not even up for debate. Almost like she wants to
get away from Shauna, as soon as humanly possible. “Like, I’ll probably be stuck talking to my
grandma for an hour, and that’s honestly a lowball estimate. Plus, you should totally hang out with
your mom before practice,” Jackie states, a little too smoothly. Her sudden behavioral shift is so
odd, that Shauna can’t help but anxiously gnaw on her lip, gazing at Jackie in utter bewilderment.

“But, Jax,” Shauna says, around a sigh. She desperately tries to ignore how evasive Jackie is
currently acting, in order to prevent the anxiety-ridden, gaping pit in her stomach from growing
even larger. But, of course, it doesn’t fucking work. “I really want to talk about—”

“Like, isn’t she working the night shift today?” Jackie inquires, prompting a hesitant head nod out
of Shauna. “And we’re going straight from practice to your house, just to get changed. Then we’re
probably going to leave your house super quickly, to get to the party. Which like, obviously, is
going to go basically all night long…” Jackie trails off, placing her hairbrush onto the top of her
vanity. “So… you need to go see your mom, right now, Shipman. I will not be the one responsible
for stealing her daughter away from her, right before said daughter heads off to Seattle for a whole
fucking week.”

“I mean, I guess. But um…” Shauna murmurs, slowly arising from the bed. She hesitantly staggers
toward Jackie, feeling her heart sink a bit, as she watches a frown slowly creep onto Jackie’s face.
With a bit of reluctance, Shauna reaches her hands out to grip the edges of the white vanity,
effectively trapping Jackie against it. “Jackie. We really need to talk about what you said last night.
Can we please talk—”

Jackie tentatively lets out this little huff— this like, semi-flustered, semi-self conscious little thing
— before cupping Shauna’s face between her hands. “I promise you…” Jackie starts, tentatively
rubbing her thumbs over the apples of Shauna’s cheeks. “That we will talk about last night…”
Jackie trails off, prompting a wide smile to develop on Shauna’s lips. Thank God. Clearly, Jackie
wasn’t planning on taking it all back; like, Jackie actively wanted to talk about it, instead of
avoiding the topic altogether. “Later.”

Shauna’s smile instantly drops, and so does her stomach. Why couldn’t they just talk about it,
now? Why did something so important to Shauna— and, presumably significant to Jackie, too—
have to wait? Like, considering the fact that they both shared the same feelings, didn’t that
automatically make them like… a couple? Although Shauna felt her own heart squeeze a bit at that
concept, she couldn’t help but wonder if Jackie’s did, too.

Obviously, there were plenty of questions lingering in Shauna’s mind, that she desperately craved
all of the answers to. She wasn’t about to wait— plus, Shauna’s brain physically would not allow
herself to wait— half a day to get them. Like, their entire thing had— up until this point— entirely
revolved around what Jackie wanted: Jackie made the rules, Jackie called the shots, Jackie was in
charge of deciding when their situationship could be considered meaningful. And, honestly,
Shauna was sick of it. So, Shauna quickly decides that she is going to get her answers, right now;
regardless of whether or not Jackie wants her to.

“But— but I—”

Before Shauna can even voice what it is that she wants— no, needs— to discuss with Jackie, she is
shut up by Jackie’s lips on hers. And, Jackie’s lips aren’t gentle or tender like they’ve been as of
late, at all. They’re bruising— punishing, almost— as Jackie thrusts a hand into Shauna’s hair and
nips roughly at her lip. The hand Jackie still has on Shauna’s cheek glides downward, allowing her
to grip roughly at Shauna’s jaw, as she slips a leg between Shauna’s.

Although it isn’t gentle or affectionate— like, this kiss is probably in the same vein as their
drunken, bathroom hookups— Shauna still finds herself melting into it. It’s honestly kind of
pathetic, like, almost downright embarrassing— how easily Jackie can play her body like a fiddle.
So, for once, Shauna chooses not to fall for it; Jackie isn't automatically stealing the upper hand,
for fucking once.

It takes literally all of Shauna’s willpower to plant a firm hand on Jackie’s chest, unlatching their
lips by pushing her away. But, as much as Shauna wants to continue kissing Jackie— rough, gentle,
light, hard, fast, slow, (any which way)— she desires answers to her life-altering questions, much
more.

“Jax,” Shauna pants, brushing a finger over the little cut that Jackie apparently left on her bottom
lip. “I am begging you… can we please talk about last night? I can’t wait until later, because I
really do lo—”

Jackie plants a quick kiss on Shauna’s mouth, spurring Shauna to just stare at her in an absolutely
confounded daze. And, of course, Jackie takes advantage of Shauna’s sudden stupor. She ducks
right underneath one of the arms that Shauna is utilizing to trap her against the dresser, before
briskly striding toward her bedroom door.

Shauna remains frozen in place, brain operating in over-drive, as she looks for a way to justify
Jackie’s erratic behavior. So, as Jackie places a firm hand on the doorknob and pops her bedroom
door wide open, Shauna just gapes at her. Her brows furrow and her eyes narrow in visible
confusion, which just provokes a reassuring grin to play at the corners of Jackie’s mouth.

“Come back at like… twelve o’clock. We can drive to practice together…” Jackie trails off,
gesturing toward the door. Oh, wonderful. Jackie is ushering Shauna right out of her house, the
morning after telling Shauna that she loves her. “And we can talk, then,” Jackie adds, a tight smile
on her face. It looks so stiff— so forced, so fake— that Shauna figures that it must hurt her cheeks.
“I promise, Shauna.”

And, as usual, Shauna reluctantly and bitterly follows Jackie’s command. She shakes her head in
bafflement and paces for the door, letting out a deep huff, as she feels tears begin to well in her
eyes. So, Shauna keeps her head down— actively attempting to avoid Jackie’s gaze— as she
stumbles through the doorframe.

As soon as Shauna enters the Taylors’ manicured hallway, she instinctively feels the need to say
it… all over again. But, she knows better than to face Jackie, especially when she’s all combative
like this.

So, Shauna opts to say it over her shoulder, hoping that Jackie will still hear it. She hopes that the
words will still register, just like they did the night prior. Maybe, just maybe, Shauna also hopes
that Jackie’s attitude will suddenly shift. She hopes that this statement will serve as some kind of
switch in Jackie’s brain, prompting her to explain to Shauna where her head— or, maybe, even her
heart— is currently at.

“I love you, Jackie.”

Instead of verbally responding, Jackie simply lets out a loud, exasperated sigh right behind
Shauna’s back. Like, Shauna can literally feel Jackie’s hot breath hit the back of her neck, spurring
goosebumps to prickle all over her pale skin. And, right before Shauna can give into her sudden
urge to turn back around and legitimately force Jackie into communicating, her bedroom door
slams shut with a resoundingly loud thud.

The sound continues to echo and reverberate on an endless loop in Shauna’s ears, even as she gets
into her car and drives home.

Of course, just like the perfect little sidekick that she is, Shauna pulls up to Jackie’s curb at twelve
o’clock sharp. And, as Shauna (im)patiently waits for Jackie to burst through the Taylors’ front
door, she finds herself restlessly fidgeting her hands against her steering wheel. Shauna taps her
fingertips against the cool plastic to an imaginary beat— opting to forego music, for the time
being, knowing Jackie’s history of evading conversations with it— while her leg anxiously
bounces up and down. She allows her brown eyes to wander, gazing directly out of the dirty
windshield of her car, at all the immaculately manicured lawns lining Jackie’s street.

She’s anxious, but she’s also ridiculously excited. Sure, Jackie was weird this morning— tense, on
edge, borderline stand-offish— but Shauna figures that she must just be… freaking out. Like, the
entire situation is complicated— especially when you also consider all of the components that
Jackie didn’t even know— so, it makes sense that she would act all worried. It was fine; Jackie was
fine, Shauna was fine, their thing was going to be fine. If anything, considering the fact that they
both clearly love each other, their thing was about to warp from fine to… amazing.

Or, that’s at least what Shauna thought, while she was still assessing the situation through a pair of
rose-colored glasses. Jackie’s behavior earlier probably should have been a glaring red flag—
should’ve clued Shauna right in, forcing her to notice and prepare for the kind of bullshit that
Jackie was so clearly prepping, to spew right at her— but Shauna refused to see it.
It’s also ironic that the one time Shauna decides to be optimistic— decides to be more like always
cheery Jackie Taylor, rather than her usual, brooding self— it comes back to bite her in the ass.
The one time Shauna doesn’t mentally and physically prepare herself for disappointment, the worst
thing in the world happens to her.

When Shauna hears a loud creak coming from the direction of the Taylors’ residence, her eyes
immediately dart to the front door. She expects to see Jackie approaching her beat-up car— smile
on her face, practice clothes on, hair immaculately tied up with a cute little ribbon— but the front
door is still sealed shut. There’s no sign of Jackie — practically no sign of life, at all, in that
mausoleum of a home— until Shauna’s eyes instinctively glance upward.

It almost feels like somebody’s shot Shauna directly in the heart, pointing at her and laughing at
her mercilessly, as they watch her bleed out. Shauna’s hands immediately tighten around her
steering wheel, her knuckles twisting into a ghostly shade of white, as she grips onto it like a
lifeline. Her head is pounding, her heart is pounding, and her fists are literally unconsciously
pounding against the steering wheel— in sheer anger.

She watches— with narrowed eyes— as Jeff inelegantly wriggles his way out of Jackie’s bedroom
window. It’s honestly kind of funny— in this sad but twisted sort of way— prompting Shauna to
chuckle a bit to herself, in sheer disbelief. Like, Shauna is instantly reminded of that one time Jeff
crawled out of her own bedroom window, as she watches him creep onto a piece of the Taylors’
black tar roof. It was the one time— in Shauna’s entire eighteen years of life— that she felt bad for
Jeff.

But now, Shauna no longer felt bad for Jeff, in any shape or form. Now, Shauna just absolutely
fucking despises Jeff, watching with fiery eyes as he climbs down Mrs. Taylor’s trellis. And, right
as Jeff hits the ground running, his blue eyes somehow land on Shauna’s brown ones.

It’s like she is watching him move in slow motion— like she’s viewing some cinematic, dramatic
chase sequence, frame-by-frame— as he races away from the Taylors’ house. She feels anger and
shame creeping up her esophagus, both tasting incredibly bitter and acidic, like potent venom. But,
somehow, she can’t tear her gaze away. Her eyes are so fixated on Jeff— like, so completely
enthused with him in a morbidly curious, sort of way— that she barely even registers Jackie quietly
slip out of her front door.

She’s too busy watching Jeff sprint in front of her car, eyes glued to his muscular body and
unzipped jeans, to even acknowledge the tell-tale sound of Jackie wringing open her car door.

But, as soon as Shauna hears the door slam shut and Jackie’s ass hit the polyester fabric of her car’s
passenger seat, she immediately bursts into another fit of caustic laughter. Although Shauna can
feel Jackie’s fiery eyes studying her profile— gaze so scorching hot that Shauna swears Jackie
might burn a gaping hole in the side of her head— she just can’t stop laughing.

There are tears dancing at the corners of her eyes— like, that’s how hard she’s fucking laughing, at
the ridiculousness that is her sordid life— prompting her to rub at them and shake her head in sheer
disbelief. Jackie just sighs, a huff of sharp air that cuts right through Shauna’s laughing spell like a
serrated knife.

It’s only then that Shauna finally decides to speak up, taking a deep breath to collect herself, right
before gunning straight to the point. “So is this like, your fucked up way of telling me that you
didn’t mean it?” Shauna bluntly asks, putting the car in drive. She keeps her eyes glued straight
ahead, finding herself physically unable to look at Jackie, especially with how Jackie’s eyes feel
like they’re scorching blisters into her skin. “What?” Shauna furiously asks, noticing Jackie’s
dejected head shake in her periphery. “Can’t say it to my face so you— you fuck Jeff, basically
right in front of me?”

“I didn’t… I didn’t fuck Jeff,” Jackie cautiously murmurs, eyes softening a bit. But, Shauna can
still feel Jackie’s gaze lingering on her side profile, prompting Shauna’s jaw to clench in pure rage.
“Shauna, it’s not like—”

“It’s not like what, Jackie?” Shauna snaps, lashing her face toward Jackie. In seconds, Jackie is
slumping into her seat and dropping her head down, viciously picking at her suddenly bloodied
cuticles. “Because I’m not a fucking idiot, Jackie. I have two fucking eyes, and I literally just saw
him sneak out of your bedroom. So, just fucking say it, Jackie. Say that you were just fucking
crossed last night, and it was a big mistake. Just, grow a pair, and tell me that you don’t actually
—”

“I do love you, Shauna,” Jackie squeaks, which somehow infuriates Shauna even more. It’s a load
of bullshit— she can’t love Shauna and definitely doesn’t love Shauna— especially if she’s back
together with Jeff. And, Shauna knows she’s a hypocrite for being this mad— like, Shauna’s done
fucked up shit to Jackie in the name of love, too— but, that doesn’t stop her anger from festering
like a blister. If anything, it makes it sting even worse. “It’s just— everything is so complicated.
Like, Shauna, I really wish it wasn’t. But—”

“But what, Jackie?” Shauna bewilderedly asks, cheeks scorching hot as she grinds her teeth. “You
love me, I love you. How the fuck is that complicated?” Shauna inquires, jerking her head side-to-
side. “Like, how can you even say that you fucking love me, when you force me out of your
house… to go hook up with Jeff?” Hypocrite.

“Do you think I enjoy doing this, Shauna? Do you really think that I like living like this?” Jackie
caustically spits, prompting Shauna’s grip on the steering wheel to tighten even more. Shauna says
nothing— just continues to bitterly shake her head in utter disgust and bafflement— which seems to
infuriate Jackie, too. “You should be thanking me, Shauna. I’m doing this for you— for me— for
us.”

It takes all of Shauna’s willpower not to bash her face straight into the steering wheel in front of
her, as soon as those twisted fucking words tumble out of Jackie’s mouth. “Oh, you’re doing me a
favor? By getting back with your ex-boyfriend?” Shauna fires back, turning to briefly glare at
Jackie. “Makes so much sense!” Shauna adds, gaze drifting back to the bumper of the car ahead of
her.

“Shauna, I literally told you, straight up, that he and I were on a break. We’re going to Nationals,
so I don’t have a valid excuse not to be with him, anymore,” Jackie declares, rubbing at her
temples. Shauna knows she could easily give Jackie a reason to dump Jeff— like, the fact that he
cheated on her with her best friend, felt like a fantastic excuse— but that would just bite her in the
ass, too. “And… do you even realize how sketchy it would look… if I didn’t get back together with
him? Do you understand how quickly all of the bullshit rumors would spread around? Like, he and
I were homecoming king and queen, Shauna. If we were to break up— like, for good— it would
be the talk of the town. Everyone would be all up in my business, Sh—”

“And you care, that fucking much, about what everyone around here thinks?” Shauna scoffs,
shutting Jackie up in seconds. “We have three fucking weeks left at Wiskayok, and then we’re
going to college, Jackie. Your stupid, fucking social status and your stupid, fucking popularity isn’t
gonna matter any—”

“Practically half of our grade is going to Rutgers next fall, Shauna,” Jackie laments, almost like
she’s offended that Shauna somehow hasn’t accounted for this. “It is the state school. Literally, off
the top of my head, I can list like… thirty people who are going to Rutgers. Jeff, Randy, Laura Lee,
Mari… even Kevyn fucking Tan…” Jackie trails off, gesturing her hands wildly. “And, the list
goes on and on, Shipman. Obviously, that means that our reputations are going to carry over to
Rutgers, whether we want them to or not. Things would be different if we were leaving New
Jersey, but we’re not, Shauna. And… and I don’t want people getting the wrong idea about us.
Like, do you want to start college, with everyone thinking we're gay? Do you want that, Shauna?”

Shauna bites down roughly on her tongue, the metallic taste of blood creeping into her mouth, as
she fights the urge to scream at Jackie. She wants to wail— on the top of her fucking lungs— that
she isn’t even going to Rutgers. Shauna is going to Brown— she is, in fact, going out of state—
although Jackie is none the fucking wiser. But, she can’t blow up, especially not right now. “So,
what’s your fucking plan, then?” Shauna seethes, attempting to ignore the tears welling in her eyes.
“Am I just gonna be your side-piece forever and ever, while you screw around with Jeff? Are you
gonna have me be the maid of honor at your guys’ fucking wedding, just so that you can keep your
picture-perfect reputation intact? Is that it? ”

“Seriously, Shauna? Come on,” Jackie scoffs, like Shauna’s suddenly acting so insane. “Why does
shit between us have to change, just because of what I said? Like, everything was totally perfect,
before I opened my stupid mouth,” Jackie placatingly says, with a heavy sigh. “So like… why
can’t we just continue doing what we’ve been doing? I was with Jeff, when we started this thing,
so I don’t get why—”

“Because— because I love you, Jackie. I don’t want to just be your dirty little fucking secret,”
Shauna practically screeches, words coming out between sobs. “I want to be with you, Jackie. Like,
as an actual couple,” Shauna whines, batting away tears. “You love me, and I love you. Doesn’t
that— doesn’t that mean more than your stupid reputation? There’s no reason— there’s no reason
to use Jeff as your stupid fucking cover-up beard.”

“Beard?” Jackie flusteredly asks, like that’s the key takeaway from what Shauna’s just said.
Shauna just poured her fucking soul out to Jackie, but, somehow, that’s the only thing that really
resonates in Jackie’s pretty skull. It makes Shauna’s heart sink and shatter, like it's made out of
cheap glass. “What? Jeff doesn’t even have a beard, Ship—”

“You know what?” Shauna growls, rapidly blinking her tears away. “Just… just never mind.
Fucking forget it, Jackie. Just… just forget all of it,” Shauna stoically states, feigning indifference.
And, her sudden calmness must spook Jackie, because she immediately freezes in her seat. She
doesn’t move a muscle, even as Shauna takes one of her hands off of the steering wheel, jabbing a
button on the car radio.

And, of course, what song chooses to come on? What song decides to blast through Shauna’s janky
radio system, almost like it’s laughing at her? INXS’ hit tune and what Jackie has deemed as
“their” song: “Never Tear Us Apart.” The fucking nail in Shauna’s coffin.

“So we’re… we’re ok? You’re not— you’re not mad at me?” Jackie murmurs, attempting to catch
Shauna’s gaze. Shauna won’t give her the satisfaction, though; she won’t allow Jackie to see how
teary-eyed she is, or how fucked-up she currently looks. So, Shauna gazes ahead, eyes glued to the
bumper of the truck in front of them. “I love you… ok? This doesn’t like… change that, obviously.
It’s just… you know how people are around here, Shipman. I don’t want people calling us names
and spreading lies about—”

“It’s fine, Jackie,” Shauna manages to stammer, through her suddenly clenched-up jaw. “We can
just… continue what we’ve been doing. Let’s just— let’s just forget about this. Forget about this
whole argument…” Shauna lies, sinking her nails into the rugged plastic of the steering wheel.
“And just… focus on doing well at practice. Alright?”
Jackie hesitantly nods her head, gazing at Shauna with an unreadable expression scrawled across
her tan features. Shauna catches Jackie open her mouth and abruptly closes it once— then twice—
out of the corner of her eye, but she ends up saying nothing.

Instead, all Jackie does is jab a button on Shauna’s radio, switching the station to something more
upbeat. Shauna can barely hear what song it is— can only register some drums and some cheery
vocals— over the ringing that has made its way into her eardrums. It’s also hard to make out what
song it is over her own labored breaths, which she begins to carefully and quietly heave.

And, the stale silence— the tight tension, the lingering gazes, the shutting and opening of mouths
— remains constant, even as they eventually make it to Wiskayok High School’s parking lot.
Shauna puts the car in park, they both grab all their soccer gear, and they awkwardly march onto
Wiskayok’s practice field together.

They sit on the bench side-by-side, slipping on their cleats and tying them up, in absolute silence.
Then, Jackie is awkwardly slinking away to talk to Mari on the other side of the field, leaving her
spot on the cool metal vacant. Shauna sighs— trying desperately not to let the tension get to her—
as she slips on her pinny. However, it isn’t long before Taissa’s plopping down into Jackie’s
previous seat, gazing at Shauna like she’s here to talk business.

Shauna quickly deduces that this practice was about to be an absolute joy.

As sick and twisted as it may seem, Shauna can’t help but notice the horrifying— yet absolutely
glaring— parallels. She figures that it must be the inner writer in her— or maybe even the tragic,
broody hero in her— that somehow recognizes the similarities between two extremely different
incidents.

Taissa inadvertently snapped Allie’s leg during practice, after successfully convincing Shauna to
lie to Jackie and go along with her stupid plan. She said she was doing what was best for the team
— claimed freezing Allie out of the Yellowjackets’ offense would allow them to win Nationals—
but all Tai managed to do was cripple a girl. The absolutely ridiculous pretense that this was what
the team needed to do to win, allowed Tai to get what she wanted. Allie wouldn’t be able to fuck
shit up during Nationals, because Allie wouldn’t be going to Seattle with them, after all. Instead,
Allie would be staying in Wiskayok, crying over her inability to kick a soccer ball around or dance
at the prom she got invited to. Allie would be spending her week in the hospital— dealing with
doctors and an itchy leg cast— while the rest of the Yellowjackets partied it up in Seattle.

And, well. As sociopathic and self-centered as it may sound, Shauna thinks that the whole Tai and
Allie situation echoes her little situation with Jackie. Sure, Jackie didn’t shatter Shauna’s bone into
a million pieces, but she did absolutely shatter Shauna’s heart. She also didn’t provoke blood to
spurt out of Shauna’s leg, like water out of a fucking geyser; but, it sure felt like Jackie did, with
how dizzy Shauna felt after their little discussion in the car. And, fine. Jackie didn’t cause
Shauna’s bone to protrude right out of her leg— flesh ripped to shreds around a white jagged edge
— but her words cut through Shauna like a knife. Each time Jackie opened her mouth in the car, it
felt like she was thrusting a knife into Shauna’s heart, twisting it deeper with each pass.

Plus, just like how Taissa put up a front to defend her strategy, Jackie meticulously crafted a
fucked up veneer to justify her decision to get back together with Jeff. Similar to Taissa’s strategy,
Jackie’s reasoning to get back with Jeff was incredibly stupid. Both of them claimed they did what
they did for the greater good— Tai was doing it to ensure a Yellowjackets victory, Jackie was
doing it to “protect” her and Shauna’s reputations— but it was all a load of bullshit. Completely
self-centered, completely unjustified, utter bullshit.
So, yeah. Not only were the parallels apparent, but they also validated Shauna’s own, terrible
decisions. Maybe Shauna’s decision to lie to Jackie— to simply leave her in the dark, about
Taissa’s little plan— was justified. Like, if Jackie was apparently so careless with Shauna’s heart
and feelings, would she even give a shit about Allie? Shauna figures the answer to that question is a
resounding… no.

Consequently, Shauna doesn’t feel all that guilty about withholding Tai/Allie information from
Jackie, as she tries on clothes for the stupid kegger. Like, Shauna barely even wanted to go to this
thing before everything went down, but… nope. Jackie is still forcing them to go to this stupid
kegger— with Jeff himself as their fucking chauffeur— even after breaking Shauna’s heart into
pieces. She is also forcing Shauna to go get drunk and pretend like she didn’t see a fucking war
scene unfold at practice earlier, too.

And, not only is Jackie practically holding Shauna hostage and forcing her to attend this thing with
her, but she is also commandeering Shauna’s outfit planning process.

Case in point: “Shauna… c’mon. We all know what you need to wear to this little shindig. The red
dress I gave you… you look so good in it. Boob dress, Shipman. Boob dress.”

Shauna audibly scoffs, tugging the black tube top she has on right off, before tossing it onto the
pre-existing mountain of clothes at the bottom of her walk-in closet. She’s honestly somewhat
thankful that Jackie’s out of her eye-view— that she doesn’t have to watch as Jackie unabashedly
appraises her half-naked body— right now. Like, Shauna knows she would cave in an instant, and
she’s really not in the mood to feel even more pathetic than she already does.

Instead, Shauna decides to put up some defensive measures, just to keep Jackie from wounding her
pride and her heart even further.

“Not really in the mood to wear a dress tonight, honestly,” Shauna mumbles, before tearing another
one of her ‘going-out’ tops off of a hanger. “I’m just… not in the party mood at all tonight, either.
Like, I don’t know. It feels weird to just go to this… like nothing even happened,” Shauna states,
attempting to sneak her way out of this. But, of course, the guilt trip tactic doesn’t work on Jackie
fucking Taylor. Shauna should’ve known better— should’ve known that Jackie would pick going
to a party over staying home and feeling bad for her crippled teammate— especially since she
literally just chose to protect her own reputation, instead of Shauna’s feelings.

“I mean, it’s not like skipping the party is going to un-fuck Allie’s leg,” Jackie breezily replies,
from her seat on Shauna’s bed. Shauna rolls her eyes in anguish, tossing on the red-striped crop top
in her hand, before hesitantly stumbling out of the closet. Jackie’s eyes meet hers for just a brief
second, before she is unabashedly raking them up and down Shauna’s entire form. “I mean… you
look sexy, Shipman. As usual. But like… don’t you want to dress to impress?” Jackie asks,
playfully quirking up an eyebrow. Shauna clenches her fists and shakes her head, earning a scoff
from Jackie. “You know… Randy is going to be at the party tonight. And he uh… he asked Jeff to
ask me if you were gonna be there. So, I don’t know. I just thought—”

“Randy? Really?” Shauna caustically spits, crossing her arms over her chest. His name sounds
bitter rolling off of both of their tongues, and Shauna can’t help but feel like she’s missing
something here. “Jax, why—”

“Would you like… ever consider dating him?” Jackie hesitantly asks, tilting her head a bit. Shauna
can legitimately feel her stomach drop at Jackie’s words, almost like she’s in the front seat of a
roller coaster at Six Flags. She swears she must be losing her mind— like, this entire day had to be
some kind of ultra fucked up nightmare— because… what the fuck? “He’s like, Jeff’s best friend,
and he’s not—”
“Jackie, no. Why the fuck would you even ask me that? Seriously, are you kidding me right now?”
Shauna practically snaps, prompting Jackie to cringe a little bit. She then frowns and lets out a deep
sigh, provoking Shauna to roll her eyes in Jackie’s general direction. “You’re really going to ask
me that? Like, with a straight face?”

“What?” Jackie innocently asks, pacing over to Shauna’s vanity. She plops herself down into the
chair tucked against it, gazing at her reflection in the mirror, as she wipes at her lip-gloss-covered
mouth. Shauna just glares at the back of her head, desperately attempting to ignore the re-emerging
ache in her heart. “I just thought… I don’t know. Like, after our conversation today—”

“Jackie, if you of all people seriously think I would date Randy fucking Walsh, after everything
that’s gone on…” Shauna bitterly grumbles, violently ripping her top off. She tosses it to the floor
without much grace, heaving it onto the weathered wood like an angry toddler, as Jackie just
watches on like a deer in headlights. “Then go to fucking hell,” Shauna announces, marching right
back into her closet.

She sniffles as she angrily rips yet another top off of another hanger, desperately fighting the urge
to grab Jackie by the shoulders and shake her. And, of course, Jackie decides to test Shauna’s
resolve even further; Shauna can hear her chair scrape against the floor, and Jackie’s tentative
footsteps inching closer to her.

“Hey…” Jackie weakly murmurs, wrapping her arms around Shauna’s bare torso— from behind.
Of course, Shauna’s body instinctively melts right into Jackie’s, fighting against her better
judgment. “I’m sorry, ok?” Jackie whispers right into the shell of Shauna’s ear, causing her to
shiver. She then presses a light kiss to the side of Shauna’s neck, as she trails her fingertips upward.
“I love you, Shauna. And I just— I just want you to be happy,” Jackie laments, sounding
remorseful.

Shauna lackadaisically bobs her head in response, way too entranced and dizzied by the
intoxicating smell of Jackie’s perfume to say anything. The scent also seems to decimate Shauna’s
resolve completely, as she automatically tilts her neck further to the side, granting Jackie’s lips full
access to her delicate skin. Jackie immediately takes advantage by sucking on the side of Shauna’s
neck, trailing her fingertips further upward.

“I um—” Shauna breathily mumbles, after finally rediscovering her voice. But, Shauna
immediately loses it again— articulate vocabulary replaced by a series of whimpers— once
Jackie’s hands trail even farther up, cupping her bra-clad boobs. “Jax… if you— if you want me to
be happy…” Shauna trails off, breaking off into a moan. Jackie rolls her thumbs over Shauna’s
nipples— her touch is still scorching hot, even through the bra’s thin fabric— which distracts
Shauna from her train of thought, all over again. “Then, just… just forget about—”

A loud car honk rings from outside, spurring Jackie to whip her hands off of Shauna and jolt away
from her, in sheer panic.

“Jeff,” Jackie starts, backpedaling straight out of Shauna’s closet. Shauna abruptly twists around to
face Jackie, finding her absolutely pale-faced and distraught-looking. “I think that’s Jeff... outside,”
Jackie quickly blurts out, probably prompted by the look of confusion on Shauna’s own face. Then,
before Shauna can even open her mouth, Jackie’s eyes are drifting downward. “So… we should uh,
probably go,” Jackie murmurs, marching back into the closet. Shauna remains frozen, still
incredibly flustered, even as Jackie confidently snatches a hanger right off of the metal rod in her
closet. It’s the fucking boob dress, which Jackie obnoxiously waves around, right in front of
Shauna’s face. “Alright… we know you can never go wrong with this dress, Shipman. And we’re
uh— on a bit of a time crunch…”
Of course, that’s when Jeff decides to lay down the horn again, supporting Jackie’s whole “time
crunch” theory.

And, well. Shauna does decide to throw on the boob dress, but it’s not just because she wants to get
out of her house and shut Jeff’s incessant honking up, as quickly as humanly possible.

Maybe Shauna also wears it, in some last-ditch effort, to seduce Jackie away from Jeff.

Of course, Shauna’s desperate attempts to steal Jackie’s attention away from Jeff are practically
fruitless. But, in contrast, Jackie manages to hold Shauna’s attention all night long. It’s irritating—
downright infuriating, practically heart-wrenching— to watch Jackie openly flirt and act all cutesy
with Jeff. She’s allegedly doing it just to maintain her reputation and keep up appearances— or, at
least, that’s what she implied to Shauna— but it’s really starting to feel like more than that. Like,
maybe, Jackie still has actual feelings for Jeff.

And, as Shauna watches this current scene unfold from afar, she genuinely believes that might
actually be the case.

Shauna watches— well, more like glowers, honestly— as Jeff twirls Jackie around to the beat of
some stupid pop song. She giggles and— although Shauna can’t exactly hear it from where she’s
standing— Shauna knows that laugh well enough to infer what it sounds like. It’s almost like she
can hear that sweet, familiar giggle rattling around in her eardrums, repeating and repeating on a
never-ending loop, like a marble that just won’t stop rolling.

Somehow, it’s not just the hypothetical sound of Jackie’s laugh that makes Shauna’s blood boil,
either. It’s the way Jackie leans her back right into Jeff’s chest, after he successfully spins her
around. It’s the way they both smile and gaze at each other, as his muscular arms wrap loosely
around her hips. It’s the way he tucks his face into the crown of her head, hiding his cocky, boyish
grin behind Jackie’s light brown hair. And, worst of all, it’s the way in which Jackie unexpectedly
matches Shauna’s gaze. She’s gazing at Shauna with this wistful smile on her face, while
rhythmically swaying her hips against Jeff’s muscular frame.

Shauna downs the rest of the cheap liquor in her red-solo cup, desperately attempting to not let her
anger show. Her strategy must fail— or, maybe, Jackie’s just too into Jeff to waste her energy on
Shauna — because then Jackie’s leaning her head back against Jeff’s shoulder and smiling brightly
up at him. It makes her physically sick, but Shauna still can’t seem to tear her eyes away.

So, she unconsciously grips her now empty red-solo cup tighter instead, fingers wrapped so tautly
around the cheap plastic that her knuckles turn white and the cup cracks beneath her grasp.

And, of all the people in the world, it is Randy fucking Walsh who somehow manages to piss
Shauna off even more than Jackie; like, somehow, his childish stupidity tears her eyes away from
the heartbreaking scene unfolding in front of her.

A series of drunken chants ring out from behind where Shauna’s standing, briefly stealing her
attention. She peers over her shoulder, catching a glimpse of Randy hitting the beer bong; he’s all
sweaty, his shirt is soaked with beer, and foam spews right out of his mouth. The vile image has
Shauna’s head pounding and her fingers clenching her red-solo cup even tighter, since this is
apparently what Jackie believes that Shauna deserves. Disgusting.

“I dedicate that to you…” Randy slurs, pointing a stubby finger at her— as soon as he finishes
chugging. “Sexy lady.”
Shauna rolls her eyes and scoffs, fighting against the urge to march over there and slap him straight
across the face. She knows Jackie wouldn’t like it— knows Jackie probably isn’t in the mood to
deal with her bullshit tonight— especially since she’s clearly having such a good time with Jeff.
Plus, it would simply be way too obvious to take her anger out on Randy, anyways.

So, rather than picking a dumb fight with Jeff’s best friend, Shauna decides to distract herself by
heading to the keg. She could use another drink— honestly, Shauna figures she could use about
thirty more drinks— with the way that her night has been going. Maybe the alcohol would dilute
Shauna’s bitterness, as well as her sudden desire to scream at Jackie in front of literally everyone.

But, as Shauna drunkenly stumbles towards the keg, she finds the perfect candidate to take her
anger out on. Right there, leaning in front of the keg, is the culprit responsible for Allie’s horrific
leg injury. She’s blissfully unaware of Shauna’s presence, refilling her own red-solo cup without a
care in the world, almost like she didn’t involve Shauna in her fucked-up little plot earlier. Taissa
fucking Turner.

“I admire your resilience, Tai,” Shauna slurs, storming closer to Tai with as much grace as a
category five hurricane. Tai doesn’t even look up, barely even acknowledges Shauna’s presence, as
she focuses on pouring herself another drink. So, Shauna decides to power on, although she knows
this isn’t actually about Tai. “It can’t be easy… knowing you fucking crippled somebody today.”

“Cool,” Tai breezily states, pulling herself upright and meeting Shauna’s gaze. She takes a quick
sip from her cup, piercing eyes glued to Shauna’s in a clear, unspoken challenge. “Good talk,” she
casually adds with a jerk of the head, right before twisting around to walk away.

But, Shauna can’t let that happen, especially not with the sheer amount of rage coursing hotly
through her veins. None of this is really about Tai— like, deep down, Shauna knows this is all just
misplaced anger— but she still needs a release for all of this rage bubbling inside of her, like a
powder-keg ready to explode.

Even though Jackie is undoubtedly the root cause of it— just like she almost always is, whenever
Shauna feels this shitty— unloading it all out on Tai, rather than Jackie herself, feels easier.
Shauna’s never really had the guts— the balls, the bravery— to ever admit to Jackie how awful she
sometimes makes her feel. And, well. Shauna sure as hell didn’t have the courage to face Jackie
head-on right now, either. So, her bullshit was Tai’s problem to deal with, for now.

“Just admit you did it on purpose,” Shauna shouts after her, words pouring out of her mouth like
venom. And, her meticulously crafted comment seems to strike a nerve, just like Shauna intended
it to. Tai twists back around, face contorted into a scowl, as she cautiously reapproaches Shauna.

“Excuse me?” Tai practically screeches, sounding genuinely offended. It’s almost like she can’t
believe Shauna’s blaming her for Allie’s leg injury, even when it was literally all her doing.

“You heard me,” Shauna firmly fires back. She keeps her eyes narrowed on Tai’s scowl, in order to
purposely ignore Lottie, Van, Nat, and Laura Lee approaching.

“You’re wasted,” Tai says around a sigh, which somehow enrages Shauna even more. Sure, she
was drunk, but that didn’t change anything. It didn’t alter the fact that Tai broke Allie’s leg, and it
sure as hell didn’t alter the fact that Jackie broke her heart.

“And you’re a fucking sociopath!” Shauna wails, crushing the plastic cup between her fist even
more. This line really seems to do some extensive damage, because Van is cautiously reaching for
Shauna’s shoulder and Tai is glaring at Shauna like she’s just broken some unspoken agreement.
Shauna thinks it’s bold of Tai to assume that she would automatically keep her fucked-up plan
under wraps, so she decides to go right for the jugular. “Good news, you guys!” Shauna
announces, shrugging Van’s hand right off of her. “We don’t have to worry about Allie fucking up
at Nationals, just like she did at States. Taissa took her out for us!”

“What the fuck is she going on about?” rings the confused voice of Nat, from behind Tai. She
inches closer, squinting her droopy eyes at Shauna. Of course, Nat looks blazed as fuck, as usual.
Classic. “Tai, did you purposely—”

“Please. This shit doesn’t concern you,” Taissa exasperatedly states, wheeling around on Nat.
“And since when do you give a shit about the team or literally anything, anyway?” Tai spits, beer
spilling right out of her cup, as she gets all up in Nat’s face. “Don’t you have a bong to hit or a dick
to suck, or something? Stay out of it.”

“Hey,” Shauna drunkenly shouts, regaining Tai’s full attention. The rest of their teammates just
watch on in equal parts horror and amazement, as Shauna weakly plants her hands on Tai’s chest.
“Don’t talk to her that way,” Shauna announces between gritted teeth, feebly shoving Tai back an
inch.

Of course, her weak attempt to defend Nat doesn’t go over all that well. Tai just lets out this wry
laugh, glancing between the worried faces of Van, Lottie, and Laura Lee. Nat just rolls her eyes at
Shauna, shaking her head in disdain. “Oh fuck off, Shauna. I don’t need you to defend me,” Nat
adds with a sardonic laugh, lips twisting into a smirk. “Shouldn’t you be over there…” Nat trails
off, thrusting her cup into the air and pointing it at something. The gesture feels purposeful,
especially with the sneaky grin on Nat’s face, so Shauna’s eyes follow the cup. And, Shauna’s
stomach automatically drops, as she registers that Nat is motioning to Jackie and Jeff. “Defending
your actual girl's honor, instead?” Nat asks, feigning innocence by quirking up an eyebrow.

Shauna swears she could spontaneously combust into flames, as the realization slaps her right
across the face. Natalie fucking Scatorccio had her and Jackie figured out. And, Shauna's cheeks
burn even brighter, as the rest of her teammates begin to glance uneasily between her and Nat.

Before Shauna could even think of anything to say— words that could somehow assuage the
confused looks on the rest of her teammate’s faces, or, even the stupid smirk on Natalie’s— Laura
Lee is piping up and inadvertently saving her ass. Her ass, and Jackie's ass, too.

“Seriously, what are you guys talking about?” Laura Lee innocently asks, cutting into the tension
with her sweet voice.

And, somehow, her innocent and confused little voice just sets everybody off. Like, if Shauna’s
heart wasn’t beating through her chest over the whole Natalie revelation, she probably would’ve
felt really bad. But, nope. The utter hell that breaks loose, prompted by Laura Lee’s naivety, steals
everyone’s attention and interest away from Natalie’s menacing words.

“Shut the fuck up, Laura Lee,” shoots out of everyone’s mouths like rapid gunfire, the words
scrambling messily in the nippy air.

Then, before Shauna’s alcohol-stilted brain can really even recognize what’s happening, everyone
is incoherently yelling over each other. Tai and Natalie are all up in each other’s faces, while Van
and Lottie— respectively— attempt to pull them apart. Laura Lee is crossing herself, watching the
entire scene unfold. And, Shauna… well. Shauna is just awkwardly standing there, rubbing harshly
at her temples, as her blood pressure soars. Like, it’s all so chaotic, that Shauna can hardly even
decipher the words jumbling out of anyone’s mouth.

Eventually, an overly-familiar voice cuts into the jumble of curses and shouts, grabbing Shauna’s
attention in seconds. Of course, this confident voice also manages to grab everyone else’s attention,
shutting them all up just as fast.

“That’s it! Enough!” Jackie screeches at the top of her lungs, as she marches right into the middle
of the chaos. She crosses her arms firmly over her chest, gaze alternating between each and every
one of them, before letting out a deep sigh. “Yellowjackets… with me!” Jackie eventually
announces, jaw clenching in anguish. She spares Shauna one last lingering glance, looking at her a
bit uneasily, before pointedly looking away.

Then, Jackie is stomping off into the woods in her high heels, without even bothering to check if
any of them are actually following her. But, of course, they all fucking do. One-by-one, each
Yellowjacket hesitantly trails after Jackie, like she truly is the Queen Bee of their stupid hive.

And, of course, Shauna eventually does too. Although she’s the last hold-out— the only one to
make a snooty scene, throwing her red solo cup onto the ground like a petulant child— she still
ends up following Jackie right into the fucking woods.

Just like usual, Shauna Shipman is blindly following Jackie Taylor’s brash commands.

“Turn on Port Monmouth,” Jackie tersely announces, from the passenger seat of Jeff’s truck. Jeff
lets out an annoyed, grumpy huff from the driver’s seat, prompting Jackie to continue. “Jeff… it’s
way faster.”

As per usual, Shauna is relegated to the backseat of Jeff’s truck, listening to Jackie and Jeff bicker
like an old married couple. She leans her head against the window with a sigh, allowing her foggy
mind to wander. Like, Shauna finds it kind of funny— in this weird, sort of tragic way— how
eerily similar this feels, to the night after her and Jackie hooked up for the first time.

Honestly, it just goes to show that nothing between them has really changed, since that night. Even
though everything arguably has, everything is also still exactly the same as it was back then. Jackie
and Jeff are back together, playing their roles as the golden girl and the golden boy to perfection.
Meanwhile, just like last time, Shauna is left to seethe in the backseat like a scorned third wheel.

It’s all kind of sad, but, then again, Shauna’s always had a real soft spot for tragic stories… and
tragic people.

“Shauna’s house is on the way,” Jeff laments, thrusting Shauna right out of her daze… and back
into reality. And, unfortunately for Shauna, the bitter reality was that Jackie had chosen her
reputation and Jeff over her.

“C’mon,” Jackie irritatedly mumbles, eyes still fixated on Jeff. “I’m past curfew.”

“I have a curfew too…” Shauna bitterly grumbles, from the backseat. It’s a stupid argument— a
really stupid, minute point of contention— but Shauna decides to latch onto it, anyway. She’ll rebel
against Jackie by forcing Jeff to drop her off first, then pretend like she’s just won a battle in their
stupid proxy war. Maybe it’ll grant Shauna the opportunity to bolster her defenses— allow her to
mentally prepare for Jackie’s next emotionally-draining onslaught— before Shauna is left critically
wounded. “You know that, right?”

“Yeah, but…” Jackie trails off, catching Shauna’s gaze in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes are soft, a
little bit glassy, which throws Shauna right off. Like, maybe, Jackie feels… guilty? Maybe Jackie
feels bad for breaking her heart? But then, Jackie pointedly looks away, glancing back at Jeff. “I
mean, you know what my parents are like,” she firmly finishes, like it isn’t even up for debate.
Never mind. Scratch the whole, ‘Jackie feeling guilty’ thing.

So, Shauna just sighs in response, rolling down her window without much hesitation. She closes
her eyes, basking in the cool night air, as Jeff obediently speeds to the Taylors’ colonial.

It isn’t until Shauna registers that the truck is suddenly stationary that she reopens her brown eyes,
finding Jackie awkwardly leaning toward Jeff. Jackie plants a quick peck on his lips— which,
obviously, makes Shauna want to vomit— before unbuckling her seatbelt and popping open her
door. Shauna mirrors her behavior, unbuckling her own seatbelt— albeit, less gracefully, due to the
fact that her brain is currently half-beer— before wringing open the backdoor.

They both climb out of their respective seats, exiting the truck and stepping down onto Jackie’s
perfectly paved street. Within seconds, Jackie’s wrapping her arms snuggly around Shauna’s waist,
pulling her in close. It makes Shauna’s heart squeeze, just like it always does.

“I love you,” Jackie firmly whispers, right into the shell of Shauna’s ear. The words prompt a
violent shiver to wrack through Shauna’s body, and they’re so close right now that Shauna knows
Jackie must feel it. “I meant what I said… when everyone was fighting, earlier. You’re the only
person who’s always been there for me. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had,” she murmurs,
pulling back a bit. And now, Jackie’s looking at Shauna like she’s the sun, the moon, and the stars,
instead of Jeff. “You know that, right?”

“I know,” Shauna whispers, offering Jackie a shy grin. Jackie’s quick to match it, squeezing her
even tighter. It makes Shauna want to kiss her, even after the absolute emotional hell Jackie’s put
her through today. It makes Shauna want to kiss her, even with Jackie’s stupid boyfriend sitting in
his idle truck, right beside them. It makes Shauna want to kiss her, even with Jackie’s absurd desire
to protect her reputation.

Jackie loosens her arms from around Shauna’s waist and backs away, right before Shauna gets the
chance to lean in. So, Shauna climbs into the front seat of the truck, clambering into it as Jackie
inches up her manicured lawn. And, right as Jeff twists the keys in the ignition and puts his truck
back in drive, Shauna instinctively gazes out the window at Jackie. She doesn’t purposefully or
consciously look back in her direction, but it just… happens. It’s almost like there’s some sort of
gravitational pull between them, which Shauna gives into, rather quickly.

And, honestly, Shauna’s really glad she does.

Jackie looks so beautiful right now, with the moonlight glistening across her tanned features. It
crowns the top of her head in this ethereal glow, making her look like some sort of angel. She
scrunches her nose up and beams at Shauna, white teeth so glossy that it nearly blinds Shauna’s
already tired eyes.

Shauna instinctively smiles back, this barely-there little grin. She quirks the corners of her mouth
up as she watches Jackie turn around, her light brown hair swaying with the breeze, as she strides
toward the front door of her house.

Then, Jeff is pulling away from Jackie’s curb, slamming the gas pedal hard. Shauna eventually
does tear her eyes away from the window to glance at him, but it’s only after she acknowledges
that there is absolutely no feasible way to catch another glimpse of Jackie. It only takes about five
minutes of them driving down the backroads in complete silence for her to realize this, so she side-
eyes him and jabs a button on the car’s radio.

As soon as the radio sputters back to life, The Smashing Pumpkins’ “ Today” fills the truck—
slashing right into the awkward silence with its hypnotic guitar riff. Shauna leans back in her seat
and trains her eyes ahead, gazing at the dimly-lit road in front of her.

But then, she can sense Jeff’s blue eyes on her out of her periphery, so she hesitantly glances back
at him. He’s smiling widely at her, shaking his head in minor disbelief. But, Shauna has no idea
what she has done to surprise him, like… at all.

“What?” Shauna hesitantly asks, narrowing her eyes at him in confusion. “If you’ve got something
to say, Sadecki… just say it.”

He licks his lips and lets out this little chuckle, tightening his grip on the steering wheel. “You like
this song?” Jeff asks, prompting a head nod out of Shauna. Sure, she likes this song. How the hell
does he find that so unbelievable? “Every time I hang out with you, I wonder more and more how
you and Jackie are best friends. I swear you guys are like… polar opposites.”

“What?” Shauna asks, like that’s the most shocking statement she’s ever heard. Almost like
Shauna can’t wrap her head around the idea of someone actually noticing that Shauna and Jackie—
who have been glued to the hip since they were like, eight— aren’t actually all that similar,
fundamentally. “What do you—”

“Jackie hates this song… says it’s whiny. Or some shit like that,” Jeff murmurs, gazing over at
Shauna with this grin on his face. “Plus, when you let me sleep over that one time, I clocked the
Cobain poster. She hates Nirvana, too.”

Shauna attempts to mask the way her body automatically cringes at the mere mention of their
fucked-up little sleepover. She knows she doesn’t really do a good job at hiding it, but, if Jeff does
notice it, he doesn’t make any snide comments about it. “I know,” Shauna instinctively bemoans,
because Jackie’s turned off a Nirvana song on her— one too many times. “Trust me.”

That one earns a boyish laugh from Jeff, which Shauna can’t help but feed into. She laughs along
with him, regarding him with a faint smile on her lips, until he decides to bring up what Shauna’s
been trying to forget all night long. “Oh yeah. I trust you, alright. More than anyone. I mean… you
were right about there being nobody else. You were right about the whole ‘break’ thing, too,” Jeff
cheerily proclaims, spurring Shauna’s smile to fade into an artificial one. “As of today me and
Jackie are officially back together… and uh. We’re better than ever if you know what I mean,” he
adds, quirking up a suggestive eyebrow and dropping his voice an octave.

Those words send Shauna’s stomach twisting and turning, somersaulting like a fucking seasoned
gymnast looking for their Olympic gold medal. She doesn’t exactly know what it is that he’s
referring to, but she sure has enough common sense to guess. And, Shauna is guessing that
whatever it is that Jeff’s referring to, isn’t going to be good for her.

“No, I uh… don’t know what you mean. Jax um… she just told me you guys got back together,”
Shauna murmurs, before pointedly darting her eyes away from Jeff’s. “She’s barely filled me in on
anything yet.”

“Well… I feel like she’s gonna tell you this eventually. So, lemme just… fill you in now,” Jeff
confidently states, while Shauna mentally prepares for the absolute worst. And, of course, the
words that spew out of Jeff’s mouth are exactly what she anticipated hearing. But, obviously, that
doesn’t make them hurt any less. “She told me that— once you guys get back from Nationals—
she’s ready to… do it. And uh, figured I should tell you that. You know… all things considered.”

Shauna immediately bites the inside of her cheek, fighting against the urge to just start… sobbing.
It’s not like Shauna didn’t expect this— it’s not like this is coming completely out of left field.
Like, honestly, it just proves her entire theory about Jackie still being into Jeff completely right.
Jackie’s refusal to be with Shauna— like, actually be with Shauna, romantically— wasn’t just
because Jackie was fearful of her reputation crumbling. No, it was because Shauna was just some
stupid plaything. The side-piece, to Jeff’s main piece.

“Right, yeah. I’m uh… happy for you guys. And I'm not gonna say anything to her. Like, about us,
if you’re worried about that,” Shauna unconsciously states, feeling about two hundred worlds
away from this one. And, maybe if Shauna really was in a world far away from this cursed one, the
next words out of her mouth wouldn’t be so fucking thoughtless. Maybe if he wasn't smiling at her
all happy-go-lucky, bobbing his head giddily like a man who has just gotten off of death row, she
would've just kept her lips sealed. But, nope. “Hey, so… um. I don’t really want to go to bed yet,
and my mom’s working the night shift. Wanna just… drink some more? Listen to some music?”

The words fly right out of her mouth, before she can attempt to take them back. Besides, at this
point, Shauna doesn’t even have the energy to take them back. She doesn’t care anymore— about
Jackie, about their thing, about literally anything. Shauna feels numb, almost shell-shocked. And,
Shauna figures that eighteen is way too young of an age to be completely jaded and cynical, but it’s
whatever. She already is, thanks to Jackie and all her bullshit lies.

Plus, Shauna really just can’t stand the idea of being alone tonight, especially after everything
that’s gone on today.

“Isn’t your guys’ flight like… really early tomorrow?” Jeff asks, clearly looking for an out. Ironic,
Shauna thinks, especially since he was previously so willing to sleep at her house and have sex
with her. “Jax said—”

“I mean… yeah,” Shauna concedes, before plastering an assuaging smile on her face. “But, who
cares? If I’m a little hungover on the plane, I’ll just sleep right through it.”

Jeff remains eerily quiet for a couple of seconds, almost like he knows this is the worst idea in the
world. Shauna can see the gears churning in that thick skull of his, eyebrows furrowed in deep
concentration. So, when he opens his mouth again, Shauna expects a rejection. But, nope.

“Screw it. Why not?” Jeff says with a grin, glancing back over at Shauna. She offers him a taut
smile, instinctively clenching her fists in her lap. “I promise I won’t turn off any of the Nirvana
songs you put on.”

Jeff keeps his promise to Shauna, because he’s apparently nothing like his other half. Unlike Jackie
Taylor— Shauna’s childhood best friend, Shauna’s favorite person in the entire world, Shauna’s
first real love— Jeff Sadecki isn’t a big fat liar. Like, he’s probably just way too clueless and dense
to lie, but… still.

Nirvana’s “The Man Who Sold the World” reverberates off of the wooden walls of Shauna’s attic
bedroom, while she and Jeff take turns sipping from a bottle of Scotch she found in the bottom of
her fridge. She figures her mom won’t miss it, if the thick layer of dust still covering the body of it
is any indicator.

“This kind of feels like practice… for next fall,” Jeff randomly says, from his seat on Shauna’s
floor. She sits on the edge of her bed, attempting to pretend like the entire world isn’t spinning
around her, as she gapes down at him in confusion. Although Jeff is undoubtedly as drunk as she is,
he somehow recognizes the puzzled look scrawled onto her pale features. He hoarsely laughs,
taking a long sip from the bottle of Scotch. “Me, you, Jackie, Randy… all together, at Rutgers.”

Shauna rolls her eyes, gesturing for him to hand the bottle to her. He immediately does, passing the
bottle of bitter liquid up to her, without much hesitation. “Wanna hear something really funny?”
Shauna slurs, around the rim of the bottle. Jeff quickly bobs his head, while Shauna tries to ignore
the way his heavy-lidded eyes are currently glued to her mouth. She takes a long sip from the
bottle, gulping down the bitter liquid with a wince. “I’m actually not going to Rutgers next fall,
Sadecki,” Shauna casually states, wiping the left-over Scotch from her lips.

Jeff raises his eyebrows at her, an incredulous look on his face. “Yeah… uh-huh,” Jeff slurs,
sluggishly pulling himself upright. He shifts to loom right over Shauna, gesturing for her to hand
him the bottle. “Think you’ve had a bit too much to drink there, if you think I’m dumb enough to
fall for that.”

“It’s true,” Shauna mumbles, hiding the bottle behind her back when he lunges for it. Jeff then
slowly pulls back, unsuccessful in his attempt to steal the Scotch away from her. “I swear, I am not
going to stupid Rutgers next fall.”

“Where are you goin’ then?” Jeff asks, piercing blue eyes staring deeply into hers. He tilts his head
to the side a bit, looking at her like a confused puppy. “Because Jackie was going on and on at the
kegger about her plans for your guys’ room. Something pink and green… I don’t know.”

Shauna yanks the bottle from behind her back, taking another long sip out of it, at the mere
mention of Jackie's name and college plans. She relishes the way the alcohol stings her throat going
down, numbing her mind and her heart from all the bullshit she’s endured today. “I’m going to
Brown,” Shauna nonchalantly says, as soon as she’s done wincing over the Scotch.

“Like the— like the Ivy League school?” Jeff stupidly asks, looking doe-eyed and dumb-founded.
Almost like he cannot believe that anyone would ever want to— or, maybe, even have the guts to
— leave Wiskayok, New Jersey.

“Yeah. Like the Ivy League school, Jeff,” Shauna murmurs, leaning forward and thrusting the
bottle straight into his chest. He instinctively cradles his arms around it, allowing her to completely
let go of it. “No more New Jersey for me,” Shauna hums, leaning back on her elbows.

He gapes at her for a second, before twisting around and placing the emptied bottle of Scotch on
her vanity. Then, Jeff’s turning back around to face her, rubbing a hand over his jaw and smiling in
wonder. “So… you’re going to Brown?” Jeff asks again, voice laced with disbelief. Shauna
playfully rolls her eyes and then nods, prompting a hoarse laugh to croak out of the back of Jeff’s
throat. “Then why does Jackie think you’re going to—”

“Because… the situation’s complicated,” Shauna slurs, sweaty palms sliding across her bedsheet.
She instinctively grips onto it as soon as Jeff narrows his eyes at her, challenging her to go on.
“You know how Jackie is… when she doesn’t get exactly what she wants. It’s always her way or
the highway.”

And, well, that seems like a reasonable and valid explanation to Jeff. He bobs his head, a
sympathetic smile engraved on his face. “Yeah. I get that. And I uh. I promise I won’t tell her,”
Jeff ensures, eyes softening. “Although honestly…” Jeff trails off, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Will not lie. Bit offended... because I was kinda looking forward to going to college with someone
that listens to good music.”

“Oh—?” Shauna scoffs, playfully squinting her eyes at him. “So… does that mean my little suitor
has shitty music taste then?” Shauna asks, stirring Jeff to blink at her in confusion. Looks like
Shauna would have to spell it out for him. “Like… Randy. You and Jackie have been purposely
trying to set me up with him, even though you know that he has a shitty taste in music? That’s
really fucked up, Jeff,” Shauna declares, and it’s meant to be a joke. But, for whatever reason, Jeff
isn’t laughing. No— Jeff’s blinking down at her, in utter confusion. “What? He’s your best friend,
you should know what kind of—”

“Yeah… Randy has shitty music taste,” Jeff concedes, still looking at Shauna with furrowed
brows. “But— but I’ve never tried to set you guys up. Trust me, Shauna. And yeah, I am his best
friend… so I know how annoying he is. Totally would not do that to you.”

Shauna swears she can feel smoke coming out of her ears, her face quickly reddening due to the
lethal mixture of panic, anger, and alcohol. “You… you did, though—? Like, Jackie told me today.
She said that Randy asked you to ask Jackie about me. And Jackie made sure to let me know about
that, so I—”

“Well, yeah. I did tell Jackie to tell you that Randy asked about you, but uh…” Jeff trails off,
frowning a bit. “I told her so that she could warn you. You know, so that you knew he was going to
try and go after you.”

“So you— you didn’t try and set me up with him?” Shauna stammers, prompting a head nod from
Jeff. Her stomach automatically clenches, which she knows isn’t just from the alcohol— although
she sure wishes that it was. And then, Shauna’s voicing her worst fear out loud, even though she
knows that Jeff will undoubtedly confirm it. “So… it was all Jackie’s idea? Tonight and Saint
Patrick’s Day? Like, she didn’t try and set me up with Randy, as a favor to you?”

“Shauna, I would never— never even think to do that,” Jeff declares, scoffing a bit. He sucks in a
deep breath, shooting Shauna with the levelest look of all time, before going on an absolute tirade.
“You’re… I don’t know—? You’re cool, cooler than most of the Wiskayok chicks. Nirvana? I
mean, the music taste… speaks for itself…” Jeff trails off, face blushing red. “Plus you’re hella
smart. Won’t lie to you… I did cheat off all of your tests in APUSH last year. But, that’s just
‘cause I know how smart you are, which I’m… you know. Not. And… uh, I always thought you
were pretty. So, basically what I’m tryna say is that I would never try to hook you up with Randy.
You’re way out of his league… which I know is fucked up to say. Kinda breaking the bro code
with that one, considering I’m his best friend, but—”

Shauna is quickly clambering off of the bed and launching herself at him, fisting a hand into his
shirt as she shuts him up with a rough kiss. His hands instinctively find her hips, right as she lets
her free hand drift downward. She keeps kissing him, unbuckling his belt and tugging it out of the
loops of his pants, before pushing his jeans down without much effort. Jeff’s hands glide upward,
skimming up her back, clumsily searching for the zipper to her dress.

She then pulls her lips away from his, latching them onto his neck instead. Shauna immediately
regrets leaving his mouth uncovered, though, because then he’s fucking opening it. “Whoa, hey,”
Jeff roughly says, as Shauna pulls back. “I thought we weren’t doing this again… ” Jeff adds, like
suddenly he doesn’t want this. Like he isn’t currently dragging the zipper of Shauna’s dress
downward, eyes lit with fire. It quickly meets the end of its track, so Shauna shrugs the stupid boob
dress right off, without much effort.

“We’re not…” Shauna murmurs, eyes drifting to a framed photo of her and Jackie— right next to
the bottle of Scotch, on her fucking vanity. “Again,” she weakly finishes, gripping the hem of his
shirt and tugging it over his head.

She fists a hand into his hair as she recaptures his lips, sliding their tongues together. Jeff is
apparently over the whole morality aspect of this thing, too, because then he’s lifting her up and
hitching her legs around his hips.

Jeff drops her down, onto the bed, right before covering her body with his own. And, Shauna
knows this is wrong, obviously. It's not the same with Jeff as it is with Jackie; she and Jackie fit
together, perfectly, like a match made in Heaven. She and Jeff, on the other hand, don't particularly
slot together in flawless harmony. Instead, Shauna likens herself and Jeff to two somewhat similar-
shaped, puzzle pieces. They're not a perfect fit, but they're close enough to what they actually need
to be, so it's easy to force them to connect; all you need to do is bend them a little bit, before
jamming them together, and then they kind of fit.

He leans down to suck on her neck, purple and blue marks blooming across pale skin, while
Shauna desperately attempts to get lost in the feeling. As previously mentioned, it’s nothing like it
is with Jackie— but, she still needs this. Shauna needs to feel wanted, after finally recognizing that
Jackie doesn’t actually want her. Shauna needs to feel needed, after finally recognizing that Jackie
doesn’t actually need her.

And, yeah. Jeff could’ve been bullshitting her before— could’ve been feeding her lies and
compliments to get her naked— but he seemed completely genuine. He's also looking down at her
with this open expression on his face— an easy smile on his lips, his blue eyes gentle— radiating
this feeling of transparent adoration and honesty. So, Shauna decides to just sink into this,
regardless of how much she’ll regret it in the morning. Regardless of how heartbroken she is, over
Jackie choosing the boy kissing Shauna’s neck right now, instead of Shauna herself.

So, Shauna slings a leg over one of his hips and grips at his shoulders, rolling her weight to be on
top. “If you cum inside me…” Shauna murmurs, unclasping her bra and tossing it onto the floor. “I
will raise the baby out of spite and train it to be a killing machine that eventually hunts you
down…” she adds, biting her lip. He gazes up at her with dark eyes, as she shifts to slide her
panties off her legs. It's kind of ironic, the fact that Jackie is so afraid to be naked in front of both of
them, while she and Jeff strip in front of each other without a care in the world. Like, as soon as her
panties are off, Jeff is instinctively lifting up his hips without much of an afterthought. He slides
his boxers down his legs, gazing up at her, as she positions herself above him. “Got it?”

“Uh-huh,” Jeff breathily moans, as Shauna lowers herself onto him. She immediately begins
moving her hips, leaning down to kiss his neck. Shauna swears she can smell Jackie’s perfume on
him, still, so she holds onto the scent and focuses on it, even as Jeff grasps her hips. Then Jeff is
sloppily thrusting upward, moans growing louder and louder, as Shauna pulls back to look at him.

Maybe it’s the intoxicating scent of Jackie’s perfume, or, maybe it’s the way she’s imagining it’s
Jackie’s hands— instead of his— gripping roughly at her hips. Actually, never mind. It’s most
likely the framed picture of her and Jackie from last summer on her nightstand— the one she's been
staring at, this entire time— that prompts her to ask him to say it… again.

“Tell me you love me,” Shauna begs, eyes glued to the picture of her and Jackie. It's a nice
memory— a little keepsake photo reminding her of when they went to Great Wolf Lodge, taking
turns tubing and laughing, on Mr. Taylor's dime— so Shauna latches onto it. Latches onto the
smile on Jackie's face, the way she laughed, how carefree and happy they were that day— so
dissimilar to how they've been, today. And her hips continue moving of their own accord, as she
registers him glancing up at her uneasily, in her periphery. Only then does she meet his gaze,
fisting a hand into his hair, as she speeds up her movements. "I’m not going to hold you to it. Just
say it,” Shauna breathlessly commands, sounding so desperate that it’s actually pathetic. Honestly,
this entire situation is pathetic. She is pathetic.

But, in the end, she gets what she needs. Not what she wants— not Jackie herself— but she’ll settle
for close enough. Shauna will settle for the guy Jackie chose, over her.

“I love you, Shauna.”

Jeff remains naked in her bed, snoring and grunting heavily in his sleep, as Shauna takes a seat on
her bedroom floor. She places her leather journal in her lap— the one Jackie gave her, as a
Christmas gift, two years ago— before uncapping a brand-new, blue pen.

A bit of sunlight manages to creep through the fabric of her curtains, which allows Shauna to write
and re-read her own words without having to squint. But, she kind of wishes that it was possible to
write in complete darkness, though. That way, she wouldn’t have to look at all of the awful things
she has written, even though every word is engraved in both her journal and in her heart. She means
every word, although she doesn’t, at the exact same time. Like, is that even actually possible?

Jackie is the most insecure person I’ve ever met. She cares so much about her high
school reputation, about being popular, about people thinking she’s so perfect and
straight-laced. It’s like she’s the definition of ‘peaked in high school.’ Like, Nat knows
we hook up, I think. And… nothing bad has happened. Is it that big of a deal? Is the
possibility of being… I don’t know… into girls, that awful? Or, is it just the possibility
of being seen with me? Maybe that’s the issue… maybe it’s just because it’s me. I’m
not as popular as her, or as cool as her. Jeff is her equal, in terms of popularity. So,
maybe that’s it. I’m the problem, as usual. I'm ok to have as a best friend, but not a
public love interest.

And, I can’t believe I almost gave up going to an Ivy League school to follow Jackie.
She has never, in her life, put me first. I almost willingly gave up a full scholarship to
Brown, to follow Jackie to Rutgers. I almost gave up a free trip out of this fucking
state, to wear red at tailgates and rush a stupid sorority. It’s not like I’ve ever been her
first choice, as a person, so why the fuck would I give up my first choice school… for
her?

Plus, I fucked Jeff. Not once, but twice. The picture-perfect, reputation-preserving
boyfriend, is actually a big fucking cheater. The Wiskayok High rumor mill would
absolutely love that one, which is the real irony. The best friend, and the boyfriend.
The homecoming king, cheats on his queen, with her best friend.

At this point, I don’t even know if I love Jackie or hate her, more. Maybe they’re the
same exact thing. Maybe I love her so much, that I hate her. Maybe I love her so
much, that I hate the fact that she clearly doesn’t love me back. Maybe I love her so
much, that I can’t just be some stupid side-piece, anymore. Maybe I don't wanna be
anything to her, anymore.

A few stray tears drip from her brown eyes, onto the white piece of paper, mixing with the blue ink
scrawled across it. The water smears a few of her words, but Shauna doesn’t care. It’s not like it
really matters— like, none of what she’s said matters to anyone— anyways. Nobody’s ever going
to read her diatribe, or the specifics of her Jackie-Taylor-induced mental breakdown.

So, Shauna abruptly shuts her journal, before stuffing it into her freshly-packed suitcase. In a few
hours, Jeff will be out of her bed and she’ll be off to Seattle, as well as one step closer to leaving
Wiskayok for good.

Well, she could thank Jackie for something. If it wasn’t for Jackie breaking her heart, she probably
would’ve found a way to go to Rutgers, instead of Brown. Shauna would've found a way to stay in
New Jersey, playing fake house with Jackie, forever and ever.

But, now, Shauna couldn’t wait to be freed from New Jersey. She could not wait to be freed from
being eternally recognized as Jackie Taylor’s designated sidekick and side-piece.
Chapter End Notes

coming next: the plane crash (dun dun dun), maybe jackie gets her shit together (who
knows).

this is also kinda random and I might be like... grasping for straws but while reading
the OG pilot script (not the deadline one but the first script leaked) I noticed a parallel
between jeff/shauna/jackie's convos. like... when jackie was (you know) with jeff, she
said "we're gonna be late" and then he said "it's fine relax." then in the car like... not
one scene later... shauna says: "we're gonna be late," and then jackie's response is: "it's
fine. relax."

yeah I'm insane and it's a bit of a mf leap but i swear ashley lyle and bart nickerson did
that shit on purpose. there's a parallel now they should lmk why.
 hell is a place on earth
Chapter Summary

Jackie licks her lips as she studies Shauna’s face, then trains her twinkling hazel eyes
onto Shauna’s brown ones. It’s like Jackie is radiating unadulterated adoration, a
dimply smile tugging at the corners of her lips, as she snakes her hands behind her
neck. “And uh… here,” Jackie says, voice so low that it’s almost a whisper. Shauna
simply gazes at her, mouth going dry, while Jackie fumbles with the clasp of her heart
necklace. As soon as Jackie manages to undo the little gold clasp, she slips the chain
right off her neck. “It’s a good luck charm,” Jackie murmurs, gesturing for Shauna to
lean forward. Shauna instinctively does, biting down hard on her lip, while Jackie
fastens it around Shauna’s neck without any preamble. Once Jackie successfully clasps
the gold chain around Shauna’s neck, she pulls back and gazes at Shauna with a loving
smile. “You’ve got my heart, which means that nothing can touch you. I won’t allow
it.”

Or: The plane crash.

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

June 2nd, 1996

Although Shauna’s entire venture into Catholicism ended as quickly as it started, elements of its
core doctrine have somehow stuck with her. Like, Shauna has always found the Saints fascinating,
primarily because most of them actively chose to die tragically. The mere concept of dying just to
protect something always interested Shauna, especially since she could not think of anything worth
giving her entire life for. And, oddly enough, maybe a sick part of Shauna wishes that she could be
that passionate about something.

Furthermore, Shauna has also just been kind of intrigued by the whole concept of Confession, too.
Recently, that interest has expanded— like, Shauna has literally thought about sitting in one of
those Confessionals and crying to a Priest— which is probably due to the number of egregious lies
she’s told as of late.

But, the tenet of Catholicism that has really stuck with Shauna the most is the concept of
Purgatory; allegedly, it is this in-between place, sandwiched between Heaven and Hell.
Apparently, some people are sent to this place right after they die, where they are immediately
forced to admit to their sins and receive punishment for them. Then, after suffering through their
sins for a little bit, these lost souls eventually get carted right off into Heaven.

Well, with this definition in mind, Shauna determines that Newark Liberty International Airport is
her own, personal Purgatory. Honestly, it might actually be her own personal Hell, at the rate
things are going.

Case in point: Shauna is trudging— no, honestly, more like straggling— through the TSA security
line, desperately fighting the urge to hurl. She is also wearing the most heavy-duty pair of
sunglasses that she owns, futilely attempting to diminish the throbbing sensation that’s taken up
residence in both her temples and her eyes. Her entire body feels achy— sluggish, so fucking weak
— and there is a sheen of sticky sweat clinging to her entire body. Shauna feels like she’s
suffocating from the inside out, trapped in a deteriorating body, with no means of escape.

And, well. Maybe Shauna deserves to feel this fucking shitty after actively choosing to down half a
bottle of Scotch, mere hours before the team’s flight to Seattle. Like, Shauna kind of deserves to
get blinded by the harsh glow of some horrid white lights, right now. She deserves the churning
ache in the pit of her stomach, as well as the lethargic feeling that has crept into each and every one
of her muscles and bones.

Honestly, maybe this was all part of Shauna’s purgatorial punishment. She legitimately deserves to
feel worse than this— deserves to go to actual Hell— for sleeping with her best friend’s boyfriend.
Shauna slept with Jeff— not for the first time, but for the second time — behind the girl who she
claims that she loves the most in the entire world’s back. And, yeah. Jackie broke Shauna’s heart
by getting back together with Jeff, but did Shauna really have to hit the self-destruct button? Like,
did sleeping with Jeff somehow fix the situation, repairing Shauna’s Jackie-Taylor-induced
heartbreak?

The answer to that question was a resounding, ubiquitous: no. Like, not only did it make the
situation twenty times more horrifically complicated than it already was, but it also lead to Shauna
having the worst hangover in New Jersey state history. And, considering the fact that it’s Dirty
fucking Jersey, Shauna considers that a tremendous feat.

But, well. Shauna somehow miraculously does make it out of her own personal Purgatory—
otherwise known as Newark Airport’s notoriously slow security line— without hurling, passing
out, or literally dropping dead.

However, as soon as she manages to trudge over to their private flight’s gate, Shauna immediately
wishes that she did die in that TSA line. Like, honestly, she would’ve preferred actual Hell—
would’ve favored flames, a fiery pit, and having to interact with the Devil himself— over this shit.

And, by this shit, Shauna means having to listen to the entire fucking team teasingly hoot, howl,
and whistle over her horrific appearance. Like, Shauna literally feels like a dead woman walking,
as she limply shuffles toward the rest of the Yellowjackets. At this point, Shauna figures that she
might as well have saved everyone some time and just written I’m hungover and a complete
dumbass, on her fucking forehead.

Her sunglasses remain on— indoors, in an airport, by the way— which surely does not give away
her current condition, at all. There is sweat pooling at the edge of her hairline and brow, almost like
she’s already on the field competing, in fucking Seattle. So, yeah. Legitimately everyone—
including Coach Martinez and Coach Scott— acknowledges her with a knowing frown, as soon as
she stumbles toward the empty seat next to Jackie.

She practically flings herself right onto the shoddy seat, barely even sparing Jackie a glance, as she
instinctively tears her sunglasses off. Like, Shauna knows— from personal experience— that
Jackie is definitely making her disapproving Team Captain look right now, which Shauna is really
not in the mood for. Honestly, if Shauna were to catch Jackie staring at her with her sharp eyes and
repulsed grimace right now, she would probably confess to all of her sins in a heartbeat. Her brain
is already short-circuiting from the effects of her binge-drinking reverie with Jackie’s boy toy of
the year, so she’s practically ripe to make yet another terrible choice.

And, even though Shauna currently wants to scream at Jackie for a bunch of reasons, she opts to
just ignore Jackie. It’s better to ignore Jackie right now— better to avoid causing a scene in front of
all of their teammates— instead of yelling at Jackie, for trying to set her up with Randy. Like,
Shauna also wants to cry and wail at Jackie for getting back together with Jeff and agreeing to sleep
with Jeff, but that wouldn’t actually do anything. Shauna would simply look like a jealous freak—
plus, she would probably get her ass kicked right out of Newark Airport— while Jackie just faked
innocence.

Besides, after sleeping with Jeff, did Shauna really have the right to yell at Jackie? Sure, Jackie
broke her heart into pieces, but maybe Shauna took her covert retaliation… a little too far. And,
yeah. Jackie’s whole love confession to Shauna was a clear-cut, substance-induced lie— if Jackie's
fucked up actions were any goddamn indicator— but Jackie still didn’t deserve to get betrayed, so
goddamn badly. No, they both royally fucked up, but Shauna was supposed to be the bigger
person. Shauna was supposed to forget that the whole love confession thing ever even happened, so
that she and Jackie could continue on as friends with fucking benefits. Shauna was supposed to act
like the perfectly obedient sidekick, opting to quickly forgive Jackie for her mistakes and swiftly
move past them, instead of secretly ruminating over them. Like, Shauna was supposed to act like
she didn’t hear the words that she’s been craving to hear out of Jackie’s mouth for months, finally
come out of it it.

But, of course, Shauna commits friendship treason— at the drop of a hat. Jeff was literally in her
bed less than an hour ago, blissfully snoring the night away, until Shauna woke his ass up and
forced him to drive her to the airport. She knows that Jackie easily could’ve seen them— knows
that their whole ruse could’ve been discovered— but, maybe a sick part of Shauna wanted Jackie to
see them. Maybe Shauna just wants to be free from this hell— this web of lies, this stifling one-
sided relationship— which seems practically impossible to escape, at this point. It was honestly
starting to feel like there was no escape from Jackie— almost like Shauna is just, suffocating every
which way, under her thumb— which is starting to drive Shauna insane. And, Shauna knows that
if Jackie caught her and Jeff together, the reaction would be instantaneous; Jackie would probably
cut them both off, freeing Shauna from the shackles of her one-sided love, once and for all.

Unfortunately, Shauna is nowhere near freed from Jackie Taylor’s authority, though. If anything,
Shauna is still under her direct control; a fact that is quickly proven by the way in which Shauna
immediately shifts to meet Jackie's eyes, as soon as Jackie lets out a calculated sigh.

“Hey,” Jackie shyly murmurs, as soon as Shauna meets her gaze. And, Shauna is shocked to find
that Jackie isn’t making her arrogant Team Captain face, in any shape or form. Instead, Jackie’s
looking at her with soft, puppy-like eyes. She also has this faint little smile on her face— both
corners of her mouth nervously twitching upward— which disarms Shauna in seconds. “I um— are
you ok? Our flight leaves in like, twenty. I was starting to get worried that—”

“Yeah,” Shauna tersely states, anxiously fiddling with her hands— in her lap. “I just… slept
through my alarm, for a little bit. Hangover brain, I guess,” Shauna placatingly adds, attempting to
assuage Jackie’s uneasiness. But, if anything, her words just make Jackie look at her with even
more concern. Her crooked half-smile drops right off of her face, right before a pouty frown
quickly replaces it.

“Oh,” Jackie timidly says, gazing at Shauna all forlornly. Then, Jackie tentatively slips her hand
into Shauna’s, almost like she’s afraid that Shauna might scream at her for doing so. Jackie’s touch
immediately soothes one of Shauna’s anxious hands, especially as Jackie begins to rub her thumb
along its side. “I’m really sorry for making you go to that dumb kegger. It was such a stupid idea to
drink, especially since we’re gonna be like, ten thousand feet in the air soon,” Jackie contritely
states, practically scolding herself. And, Shauna— with her tremendous fear of heights and literal
metal deathtraps— must outwardly wince at the mere reminder that she will be up in the air in less
than twenty minutes, because then Jackie’s squeezing her hand and cooing at her like she’s a baby.
“Fuck. I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have—”
“Jackie. It’s fine,” Shauna snaps, although she doesn’t actually mean to sound like such a bitch. It’s
just that her head is still pounding and her heart is still shattered into pieces, which prompts Shauna
to find legitimately anything and everything irritating. And, of course, Shauna’s abrupt mood swing
sends Jackie reeling. Her frown deepens, her eyebrows furrow together, and her thumb abruptly
freezes on Shauna’s hand, mid-circle trace. So, Shauna quickly turns apologetic, just to avoid any
more awkwardness or tension to fester between the two of them. “Shit, Jax. I didn’t mean it like
that, I just—

“No, yeah. I uh… I know…” Jackie trails off, feigning an air of nonchalance as she sticks a fake
smile onto her face. She begins absently tracing her thumb over Shauna’s hand again, generating a
sensation that Shauna wishes she didn’t enjoy, as much as she does. Then, Jackie is swallowing
hard, right before casually steering the conversation in an entirely different direction. And,
somehow, this new conversation topic hurts Shauna even worse. “Ok, but like… back to the stupid
kegger. I’m really sorry that I made Jeff drop me off first, and that I didn’t help you get back into
your house. It’s just that… you know how annoying my mom is. I didn’t wanna piss her off, right
before hauling ass to Nat—”

“I know, Jax. It’s all good,” Shauna supplies, way too quickly— way too nonchalantly. She needs
to escape this conversation topic— needs to prevent another Jeff Sadecki name drop— as soon as
humanly possible. But, of course, Jackie refuses to let this horrifically complicated conversation
topic die. In seconds, Jackie is furrowing her eyebrows and opening her mouth again, so Shauna
quickly decides that it is in her best interest to shut Jackie up. “Trust me, everything’s fine. I made
it here in one piece… just a little bit more hungover than usual.”

“Yeah, ok. I just…” Jackie trails off, eyeing Shauna suspiciously. It’s almost like Jackie just
refuses to let sleeping dogs lie, at this point. And, honestly, it’s starting to irritate Shauna to an
extensive degree. “I guess I didn’t realize how much you drank last night. And, if I had known, I
wouldn’t have left you alone with Jeff,” Jackie laments, guilt oozing into her normally cheerful
voice. Of course, this only makes Shauna feel even worse, heart and head pounding at the same
erratic speed. Then, without even knowing it, Jackie delivers a fatal blow right to Shauna’s guilty
conscience. “But, hey. At least he got you home in one piece,” Jackie murmurs, looking absolutely
relieved. Fuck.

Shauna swears she can feel the bile rising in her throat, right alongside the horrific words that
suddenly wanted to spew directly out of her mouth. Like, yeah. Jeff definitely got her home safely
the night prior, in more ways than one. He did obediently drive Shauna home and helped her get
back into her house… right before binge-drinking with her and having sex with her.

And, Shauna must be making a face over her painful recollections of last night— like, she must be
visibly cringing or something— because then Jackie is incoherently rambling. It’s like Jackie’s
concerns for Shauna— plus her stupid hangover— have tripled in a mere matter of seconds,
honestly.

“Which like… God. I’m so thankful that he did, because I was kind of… freaking out. Shauna, you
were so late to get here, and um. I just thought that— that maybe something bad happened,” Jackie
says, worriedly chewing at her lip. Shauna swears she can suddenly feel her blood pressure
skyrocket, scorching hot liquid rushing right through her veins, like a volcano ready to erupt. “Like,
I was kinda worried that you guys got into an accident or something last night, because neither of
you answered my calls this morning,” Jackie adds, prompting Shauna’s temples to sharply throb.
At this point, Shauna swears the sweat is just dripping right off of her body, almost like Jackie is an
FBI agent and she’s a five-star criminal getting interrogated. But, this isn’t an FBI agent, it’s just
Jackie. This is Shauna’s best friend, who claims that she loves Shauna more than anyone in the
entire world. “So, for the past two hours, I’ve just been… imagining the worst. Blood, guts… the
whole nine yards. And I just… wow. I literally sound insane. So uh… scratch all of that. I’m just
so glad you’re ok, Shipman. I guess I just went into… panic mode, or something.”

By the time Jackie finally decides to screw her fucking mouth shut, Shauna’s head and heart are
both already fully reeling. This immense feeling of shame shoots through her body like an
electrical current, zapping her insides and leaving a lingering, painful sting. It must scramble
Shauna’s fucking brain too, because she is opening her mouth, before she even realizes it. She is
opening her mouth, fully prepared to disclose all of her lies and traitorous actions to Jackie, in a
desperate attempt to relieve the pangs of guilt coursing through her sluggish body.

But, right before Shauna can reveal her deepest and darkest secrets to Jackie, a female voice booms
over the airport’s shitty intercom. It prompts Shauna’s mouth to snap shut, while also
simultaneously hyping up the entire goddamn team, to an almost embarrassing degree. Well, all of
Shauna’s teammates besides Jackie seem to get excited over the announcement, because Jackie
stays silent and begins to study Shauna’s face with narrowed eyes.

“Now boarding, Flight 2525 to Seattle. Once again, we are now boarding chartered Flight 2525, to
Seattle, Washington.”

In mere seconds, the entire team erupts into a cacophony of claps, chants, and cheers. And, not
only does the Yellowjackets’ racket probably piss off every single commuter currently in Newark
Airport, but it also causes Shauna’s head to pulsate like a bomb’s just gone off in it.

So, while the rest of her teammates giddily charge right for the open doors of their flight’s gate—
bags in hand, giggling, chattering away— Shauna just slumps down even further, in her sunken-in
seat. She closes her eyes and rubs furiously at her temples, like that is somehow going to dispel the
pain and guilt rushing through her entire body. Jackie also remains seated, continuing to eye
Shauna skeptically for a moment, right before hesitantly standing up.

“Alright, Boozey,” Jackie murmurs, slinging her backpack over her shoulder. She grabs the handle
of her purple suitcase with one hand, before extending the other one to Shauna. “I’ve got a few
surprises for you, that might make this plane ride a little more bearable,” Jackie announces,
quirking up a playful eyebrow. “And uh… one of them might help with the hangover a bit, too.”

And, just like that, it’s like the entire mood has completed shifted in the blink of an eye. Shauna is
so incredibly thankful for the sudden shift too, primarily because she could legitimately feel the
bile and the word vomit threatening to erupt from her throat.

So, Shauna grabs Jackie’s hand without much hesitation, allowing the lighter-haired girl to pull her
dull body upright. Jackie smiles at her affectionately as she does so, dimpled cheeks and scrunched
up nose on full display. It makes Shauna’s heart melt, but it also makes that pit in her stomach
deepen a little bit more.

Shauna swears by the time this tournament is over— like, after having to spend a week in the same
hotel room as Jackie, actively lying to her face— that pit might become as deep as the Taylors’ in-
ground pool.

She doesn’t let herself ruminate on that thought for long, though. Instead, Shauna focuses on the
feeling of Jackie’s hand in hers, in a desperate attempt to decimate the recent memory of Jeff’s
hands all over her. Shauna tries to forget the way Jeff touched her last night, right after running his
calloused hands all over Jackie, at that stupid kegger.

As Jackie leads Shauna through the doors of their flight’s gate, squeezing Shauna’s hand with the
enthusiasm of a kindergartner on their first day of school, all of Shauna’s problematic thoughts
completely melt away.

She decides to leave her problems in New Jersey, vowing to come clean to Jackie, once they re-
enter the Garden State. Shauna is not in the mood to implode her friendship— or their somewhat
muddled friends with benefits agreement— while they're at Nationals. Like, that would
legitimately destroy the Yellowjackets’ chances at winning the title, as well as Jackie’s stupid
childish dream.

So, yeah. Shauna chooses to keep her mouth shut— elects to just hurt inside, over her mistakes and
unshared feelings— for the time being.

Jackie barely gives Shauna time to (un)comfortably settle into the worn-out leather seat of Mr.
Matthews’ chartered plane, before she’s unzipping her backpack and smirking at Shauna. It’s
almost like Jackie knows exactly what Shauna is currently thinking about, just from the deep sigh
she releases. Like, Jackie seems to automatically register that Shauna is currently freaking the fuck
out, based on her wandering eyes and slight fidgeting, alone. And, well. Shauna quickly infers that
Jackie’s ability to read her like a book is simply a consequence of their tenured friendship, rather
than anything else.

“Hey… you ok?” Jackie murmurs, soft eyes glued to Shauna’s own. Shauna absently bobs her head
in response— way too distracted by her own, growing unease over the plane’s takeoff— to even
register the fact that Jackie is now digging for something in her striped backpack. But then, Jackie
quickly regains Shauna’s full attention, luring Shauna’s meandering eyes right back to her own.
“Remember when you went to Hilton Head with us, way back, in the second grade? You cried
like… the entire flight,” Jackie murmurs with a reminiscent giggle, prompting a shy smile to work
its way onto Shauna’s face. And, before Shauna can even ask Jackie why she is suddenly bringing
up their beach-filled— as well as ice cream-filled— childhood vacation to South Carolina, Jackie
is filling in all of the blanks. “Here,” Jackie quietly says, finally locating what she has been
searching for in her backpack. She wrings a crumpled-up tissue out of it, glancing around the cabin
to check if the coast is clear, before slowly opening it. Shauna eyes the little blue pills on it for a
brief moment, gaze shifting between them and Jackie. “Swiped these from my mom’s medicine
cabinet. They’re um… Valium,” Jackie declares, scooping the pills into her palm and passing them
to Shauna. “She’s got, like, a never-ending supply, so I doubt she’ll even notice.”

“Thanks, Jax,” Shauna shyly says, heart-warming a bit. She tries to bite back the little grin
attempting to work its way onto her face, although she ultimately fails to thwart it. Like, it’s
honestly kind of pathetic— kind of weird, kind of a stretch— to interpret Jackie stealing and giving
her drugs, as a loving gesture. But, of course, Shauna’s pathetically whipped-ass does… anyways.

“Yeah, I uh… figured they would help like, calm you down. And, I guess they'll probably make the
hangover less awful, too,” Jackie states, as Shauna slips the pills into her mouth. She dry swallows
them with a quick wince, while Jackie shoves the tissue back into her letterman jacket. “Didn’t
really plan to help with that… but let’s just pretend that I did. It makes me look even better,” Jackie
adds, a playful smirk playing at the corners of her lips. And, if Shauna actually knew where they
currently stood and wasn't still kind of mad at Jackie, she probably would’ve somehow found a
way to sneakily kiss that grin right off of Jackie’s mouth.

“Mhm. You’re the fucking best. But, it’s only because you illegally drugged me up,” Shauna
teases, playfully rolling her eyes. That one earns a light swat on the shoulder from Jackie, who
airily giggles, right before abruptly turning all serious.

Jackie licks her lips as she studies Shauna’s face, then trains her twinkling hazel eyes onto
Shauna’s brown ones. It’s like Jackie is radiating unadulterated adoration, a dimply smile tugging
at the corners of her lips, as she snakes her hands behind her neck. “And uh… here,” Jackie says,
voice so low that it’s almost a whisper. Shauna simply gazes at her, mouth going dry, while Jackie
fumbles with the clasp of her heart necklace. As soon as Jackie manages to undo the little gold
clasp, she slips the chain right off her neck. “It’s a good luck charm,” Jackie murmurs, gesturing
for Shauna to lean forward. Shauna instinctively does, biting down hard on her lip, while Jackie
fastens it around Shauna’s neck without any preamble. Once Jackie successfully clasps the gold
chain around Shauna’s neck, she pulls back and gazes at Shauna with a loving smile. “You’ve got
my heart, which means that nothing can touch you. I won’t allow it.”

Of course, the adorable gesture and Jackie’s words make Shauna practically swoon, her previously
broken heart suddenly feeling overfull with an abundance of love for Jackie. But, as per usual,
Shauna lets her mind get in the way of things. Like, Shauna finds it odd that Jackie would trust her
with this necklace, especially since it’s been Jackie’s most prized possession for years. It was a
heartfelt, middle school graduation gift that Jackie jovially received, from her loving grandma. The
golden heart necklace came from Jackie’s grandma on Mr. Taylor’s side— rather than the
horrifically bitchy one on Mrs. Taylor’s— who then, unfortunately, died two weeks after their
middle school graduation. And, considering the fact that she was the only relative that was ever
genuinely loving toward Jackie— like, she was literally the only family member to never make any
snide comments about Jackie’s weight, skin, or relationship with Jeff— her death crushed Jackie
into pieces.

So, yeah. Ever since her grandmother’s funeral, Jackie has kept that little golden heart necklace
looped around her skinny neck. Like, Shauna legitimately swears that Jackie has never taken it off
or worn a different necklace in its place, so Shauna knows how important it is to her. And, the fact
that Jackie entrusts Shauna with an item that is so priceless and important to her, literally scares
Shauna to death.

“Jax… Jackie. I know how important this necklace is to you. I don’t want to like… lose it or break
it,” Shauna says around a deep swallow— fighting against the thick swell of emotion— deep
within her chest. She reaches behind her neck, struggling horrendously to grasp the necklace’s
small clasp, with her suddenly shaky fingers. “Here, why don’t you take it—”

“No,” Jackie firmly states, placing a hand on one of Shauna’s forearms. Shauna immediately
freezes, taking in the faint blush that has crept its way onto Jackie’s cheeks, before hesitantly
placing her hands back into her lap. As soon as Jackie acknowledges that Shauna is done
attempting to remove the necklace, she lets out a sigh of relief. Then, Jackie is tucking a strand of
Shauna’s hair behind her ear, right before whispering right into it. “I trust you with it, Shipman.
You’re not gonna break it.”

Shauna swears all of the breath leaves her lungs at the implication, although she feigns an air of
nonchalance, as soon as Jackie pulls back. Like, Shauna had to be overthinking the significance of
Jackie’s words, right?

“Yeah… I— ok,” Shauna eventually manages to stutter out, sounding anything but casual. It makes
her cringe inside, but, Jackie seems to find it amusing. She giggles a bit and slips a hand into
Shauna’s, immediately squeezing it tightly.

“I love you, Shipman. We’re gonna get through this flight and kick some serious ass at Nationals
together, alright?” Jackie murmurs, prompting a lackadaisical head nod out of Shauna. It’s like her
head suddenly weighs about a hundred pounds, basically sitting on her neck like deadweight. And,
Shauna swears she can suddenly feel her brain swirling all over the place, unable to focus intently
on one particular thing. She manages to maintain eye contact with Jackie for a few more seconds,
noticing that Jackie is suddenly squinting at her. Then, Jackie is breaking off into this knowing
little laugh, shaking her head and turning her gaze toward the window.

Of course. Leave it to Jackie to recognize that the Valium has kicked in, slowly numbing Shauna’s
entire nervous system, before Shauna herself even realizes it.

Like, Shauna barely even registers the plane beginning to speed down the tarmac, with the way
that her legs suddenly feel all Jello-y. The cheers and laughs of her teammates warp and fade into a
dull throb, until the only sound echoing in Shauna’s ears is the thrumming of her own heartbeat.
And, Shauna decides to let her brown eyes wander aimlessly around the cabin, which just conjures
up a bunch of hazy and smudged visuals. Plus, her entire body feels light and airy, almost like she’s
stuffed to the brim with cotton— instead of bones and muscles.

She lolls her incredibly heavy head to the side, smiling widely and sloppily at Jackie, whose eyes
are suddenly back on hers. Then, Jackie is matching Shauna’s grin, watching as Shauna
desperately fights against the urge to close her heavy-lidded eyes. She rubs the back of Shauna’s
hand with her thumb— just like she did, earlier, while they were waiting to board— which just
makes Shauna feel even sleepier. Eventually, Shauna’s sleepy eyes manage to defeat her,
prompting her to close them and drift right off.

And, Shauna swears she can still feel Jackie tracing a variety of shapes on her hand, welcomingly
soft skin gliding across Shauna’s knuckles. Shauna also swears that she can feel the light press of
Jackie’s pillowy lips against the top of her forehead, but maybe she’s just imagining that one.

It had to be wishful thinking on Shauna’s end, for three specific reasons: Jackie legitimately didn’t
love her, Jackie was literally back together with Jeff, and Jackie wanted to pair her with Randy
fucking Walsh.

So, considering all of the bullshit that Jackie put her through the day prior, the forehead kiss had to
be a drug-induced hallucination. Like, future Ivy Leaguer Shauna Shipman would not allow herself
to get her heartbroken and be played for a fool by Jackie fucking Taylor, ever again.

Her eyes slowly flutter open as a sudden rush of sharp air infiltrates her lungs, cutting through her
windpipe like a knife. Shauna’s eyes remain at half-mast, ears randomly ringing, as she realizes
that something is suddenly wrapped tightly around her face. Even in her drug haze, Shauna
manages to sluggishly reach her hand upward and touch whatever it is, feeling something eerily
similar to a zip-loc bag beneath her fingertips.

The realization dawns on her then, sharpening Shauna’s mind and sobering her right back up, in a
matter of seconds.

Shauna’s eyes fly the rest of the way open, registering the dim cabin, as well as the sudden flickers
of light that seep quickly through the windows. She can no longer hear the soothing thrum of her
own heartbeat in her ears, finding that peaceful noise replaced by an ear-deafeningly loud
cacophony of wails and beeping.

The plane jerks and jolts beneath her feet and all around her, stirring Shauna’s entire stomach to
drop. All of Shauna’s theories and fears about airplanes are instantaneously proven right; planes
are deathtraps, planes are dangerous, and planes are scarier than any horror movie playing in
theaters. Second grade Shauna was clearly onto something when she cried and courageously fought
against getting on that stupid plane to Hilton Head, alongside…

Jackie.
Her eyes dart to her left, sheer panic setting in, as soon as they land on Jackie’s slumped-over body.
Shauna instinctively reaches her hands out to shake her, grabbing her by the shoulders, before
jolting her limp body back and forth. She doesn’t startle— doesn’t move, doesn’t make a noise—
prompting tears to accumulate at the corners of Shauna’s eyelids.

So, Shauna keeps desperately shaking her, while allowing her eyes to zip around the rest of the
cabin. Shauna discovers Laura Lee saying a prayer across the aisle and she briefly studies her, until
Shauna’s own seatbelt begins to cut painfully into her stomach and the plane lurches into a
complete nosedive.

It’s clear that their plane— the one that Mr. Matthews’ rich ass chartered, the one that everyone
was so excited to climb aboard— is going down, hard. As soon as that realization settles in the pit
of her stomach, Shauna swears she can feel her intestines tying themselves into tight knots. The
fear is vehement, so pure and unfiltered that Shauna swears that she has never been this scared, in
her entire life. They are all going to die in this stupid heap of metal, which most of her teammates
eagerly climbed right onto, in order to fulfill their stupid childhood dreams of winning a National
championship. A sport that involved kicking a black and white speckled ball into a goal was going
to be the root cause of Shauna’s death, whether she wanted it to or not.

As the fear courses its way through her veins like a poison, Shauna reluctantly tears her hands off
of Jackie and reaches over her body, in order to frantically throw open the window shade.

Her wide eyes immediately fall on a cluster of huge mountains, whose peaks Shauna can no longer
see, due to how low their plane has managed to plummet. There is also an impenetrable amount of
trees, whose green leaves flutter and shake like they’re being beaten by the winds of a massive
hurricane, as their flight careens closer and closer to the ground.

The only thought that manages to cut through all of Shauna’s fears and find purchase at the
forefront of her mind, is her lingering theory about Newark Liberty International Airport. That
place really was Purgatory on Earth, only, Shauna wasn’t granted permission into Heaven after
suffering within it. No, Shauna received an exclusive pass right into the depths of Hell on Earth,
probably due to her insatiable ability to lie.

A flash of green, as well as the sound of hissing and whirring, are the last things that Shauna
registers… right before blacking out again.

“Shauna… Shauna! Get the fuck up!”

A dull ache pulses throughout her entire body, leaving not a singular muscle or bone free from its
wrath. Sure, her body was sore and sluggish from the hangover, but this is real pain. The kind that
stings, like pricks and needles against your skin. It is the kind of pain that radiates throughout your
entire body, generating a soreness that makes waking up and moving an almost unbearable thought.

She feels firm hands grasping onto her sore shoulders, right before her slack body begins to
frantically jerk to and fro. Then, Shauna feels the sweet sting of a palm against the side of her
cheek, right before she is hit with another one.

Shauna Shipman finally opens her brown eyes, quickly deducing that she really is trapped, in Hell
on Earth.

It’s smoky and dark, as well as so swelteringly hot, that Shauna can feel the heat radiating within
herself. All Shauna can hear is a cacophony of girlish shrieks and the tell-tale sound of aluminum
getting punched, kicked, and beaten down. She also clocks the hissing noise, as well as the
blindingly white rush of heat and light, that comes from a severed electrical wire.

Her brain is so foggy and slow, but whether her sluggish brain is a consequence of her drug usage
or the crash’s impact, Shauna’s not quite sure.

Like, it takes Shauna’s regularly sharp mind a moment, to even register that Jackie is standing in
front of her. And, Jackie looks downright terrified— almost shell-shocked— as she immediately
pulls Shauna out of her seat and upright.

Then, Jackie’s pushing her into the aisle and placing a guiding hand on her lower back, attempting
to steer her towards the emergency exit door that’s been propped open. Only, as soon as Jackie
limps into the alcove of the exit, a slew of frantic screams fills Shauna's punctured eardrums.

“Help me, help me! I’m stuck! ” Van.

Shauna’s sore eyes dart past Jackie’s shoulder, landing on Van.

Van, who is trapped within her seat, desperately thrashing her body around as a means of escape.
Van, who is wedged into her seat, as a roaring fire grows behind her. It threatens to lick even
closer, filling the cabin with thick, black smoke.

“I’m stuck! I can’t leave!” cuts through the plane like a piercing shard of sharpened glass, so shrill
that Shauna’s ears sting with it.

And then, Shauna’s sore legs are moving of their own accord, limping past Jackie and the
emergency exit doors. “It’s Van,” Shauna hears herself screeching, almost like she has gone
completely out of her own body. Then, Shauna registers Jackie wailing her name behind her, panic
apparent in her timbre and breathless delivery. But, Shauna ignores her pleas, in favor of saving
Van. “We have to help her,” Shauna announces, hazy mind working in overdrive. Shauna is then
shuffling through the aisle, haphazardly gripping onto seats to keep her body from teetering, as she
inches closer and closer to the blazing heat.

“I can’t get out!” Van wails, as soon as Shauna manages to lug herself to her. Then, Shauna is
gripping Van’s seatbelt, desperately attempting to ignore the scorching heat radiating from the
flames and right back onto her. Shauna tugs at it hard, actively choosing to ignore the flames,
surging higher and higher behind them. She tugs at the leather fabric frantically, disregarding the
electrical short circuits, that send sparks shooting around them. Her lungs fill with smoke, her eyes
water, and her skin burns. But, Shauna refuses to give up, or allow Van to burn alive in this death
trap.

“Hurry up!” rings the piercing voice of Jackie, from behind them. But, Shauna can hardly even
hear it, over the sound of the roaring fire and Van’s desperate screeches. Then, Jackie’s voice is
drifting even closer, while Shauna determinedly pulls and pulls at Van’s wretched seatbelt.
“Shauna. We gotta go,” Jackie frantically says, right before she feels Jackie’s arms looping around
her abdomen. And, before Shauna can even attempt to fight against Jackie’s tight hold on her,
Jackie is dragging her body backward. Van is screaming— begging, pleading— for her life and for
their help, as Jackie pulls Shauna’s body toward the emergency exit. Shauna attempts to fight
against her hold— attempts to escape Jackie’s grasp— but it’s iron-tight.

There’s no use fighting against Jackie or her tight hold, a fact that is immediately proven by the
way in which Jackie shoves Shauna right through the emergency exit doors. Shauna hears Van
screech her name one more time— the sound echoing and slicing through her eardrums— as she
lands face-down, on a patch of dirt.
And then, as Shauna slowly lifts her sore body up, it’s like the entire world around her is spinning
in slow motion. Ash and smoke flutter around her, encasing her in a cloud of suffocatingly thick
smog. Scattered debris line the forest floor, some of them still covered in flames. Her teammates
shuffle erratically around— some covered in blood, some covered in burn marks, some covered in
both— as they also attempt to make sense of what has just got on. And, Shauna can hardly hear
their screams and cries, over the ringing sound in her ears.

But then, Shauna snaps right back into reality, just as quickly. Van is still trapped in that plane,
mere inches away from burning alive. “We have to go back inside,” Shauna resolutely says,
twisting around and booking it for the plane’s emergency exit doors. Yet again, Jackie thwarts her
rescue attempts, trapping Shauna in a bear hug.

As Shauna attempts to thrash her way out of Jackie’s tight hold, an explosion rips through the end
of the plane, right near where Van was. Fire soars into the air in its wake, prompting Shauna’s
heart to shatter even more, in seconds. The explosion must shock and upset Jackie too, because
then she is loosening her grip and allowing Shauna to easily slip through her arms.

And then, Shauna is angrily marching away from Jackie and attempting to ignore the way her
stomach sinks, as soon as she hears Tai frantically asking people if they’ve seen Van. She makes a
direct beeline for the rest of her teammates, hearing their frantic screams and cries from afar.

It’s not long before Shauna hears Jackie’s quick footsteps trailing after her, pristinely white
sneakers crunching against the dirt-covered forest floor. “Shauna,” Jackie frantically says, reaching
for Shauna’s flannel-clad arm. She immediately shrugs Jackie right off, refusing to look her in the
eye, as she rounds a massive tree. “Please,” Jackie pleads, voice dripping with desperation. But,
nope. Shauna can’t deal with Jackie’s bullshit right now, especially with the guilt slicing through
her heart like a blade. Like, there was absolutely nothing that Jackie could say or do, in order to
rationalize her decision to leave their teammate to burn to fucking death. “Swe— Shauna. There
was nothing we could do,” Jackie stammers, as Misty fucking Quigley marches past them with a
glint in her eye. “I was trying to save you, Shauna. Because I—”

Jackie’s mouth screws shut and Shauna’s anger instantly warps into terror, as soon as they round
another tree. On the forest floor, slightly wedged beneath a fractured airplane wing, is Coach Scott.
His leg is fucking mangled to an irreparable degree— bone completely shattered, blood leaking
from lacerations, muscles torn to shreds— giving Allie’s leg injury a real run for its money.
“Holy,” Shauna hears herself mumbling, unable to look away from Coach Scott’s absolutely
butchered leg. For the first time ever, Shauna swears that she suddenly understands the whole
concept of morbid fascination, because she physically cannot tear her eyes away from the horrific
sight in front of her. It makes Shauna’s stomach twist and turn, spurring acidic bile to rise in her
throat, which she quickly wills away.

“Jesus…” Jackie murmurs beside her, sounding downright disgusted and horrified. Shauna can
hear her deeply swallow and wince, voice all crackly and uneven as she continues on. “What the
fuck… Coach.”

And, Shauna is apparently so hyperfocused on Coach Scott’s pulverized leg, that she manages to
miss Van stumbling out of the plane. It is only when Van is standing legitimately right in front of
Coach Scott, completely obstructing Shauna’s view of his leg, that Shauna acknowledges her
presence. Shauna swears she can feel her jaw drop to the ground as she gawks at Van in complete
bafflement, brown eyes lingering over the assortment of singe marks and cuts lining Van’s face.

“Surprise,” Van snarls with a scowl, pointed right in Jackie’s general direction. Shauna swears she
can hear Jackie’s breath stall beside her in response, although neither of them is granted the
opportunity to say anything to Van. Tai— who has been crouched down beside Coach Scott, this
entire time— practically sprints at Van, hugging her tightly from behind.

“Van,” Tai exasperatedly yells, clinging onto Van for dear life. Shauna smiles a bit at their little
reunion, eyeing the pair as they shift into a full-frontal hug, right before creeping closer to Coach
Scott.

But, before Shauna can get closer to Coach Scott and really assess the damage inflicted on his leg,
Misty fucking Quigley is pushing her to the side. Misty fucking Quigley is unceremoniously
shoving Shauna right out of her way, while wielding a massive fucking ax. Misty fucking Quigley
is lifting said ax high into the air, right before swinging it back down to Earth. And, well.
Psychopathic Misty Quigley chops Coach Scott’s mangled leg clean off with an ax, blood spurting
all over glasses and face, from the impact.

Shauna is so fucking shocked by the sudden carnage, that she hardly even moves. She hears Mari
gagging and screaming behind her, as well as a few broken curses from Natalie. Shauna also feels
Jackie burrow her face right into the crook of her neck, her entire body flinching and shaking
against Shauna’s. So, Shauna instinctively loops her arms around Jackie’s skinny waist, fighting
against the urge to cry over the insanity of the situation. And then, Jackie’s sharp gasps and
desperate swallows for air reverberate through Shauna’s eardrums, prompting Shauna to rub a hand
reassuringly at the small of Jackie’s back.

“Help me move him,” Misty screeches, tearing her belt clean out of its loops.

Oh, man. Shauna really was stuck in Hell, on Earth.

“Here, Misty. Let me use some of the Sea Breeze. I’m still bleeding… and so is Shipman.”

After pouring an absolutely insane amount of that skin-scorching liquid onto Coach Scott’s severed
leg, Misty began to pass that vile bottle of toner to each girl, allowing everyone to disinfect their
bloody cuts. Somehow, Jackie— the rightful owner of that stupid beauty product, who almost
verbally sparred with Van over having to share it— still hasn’t had her cut-cleaning turn, just yet.

But, apparently, it is finally Jackie’s turn to use the most painful skincare product in the world.
Misty immediately hands Jackie the bottle without putting up much of a fight, shooting Jackie an
unsettling grin. It’s almost like Misty is getting off on this survival bullshit— almost like she is
having the time of her life, living out this fucking Lord of the Flies- adjacent nightmare— which
somehow manages to piss Shauna off even fucking more.

Of course, Jackie is blissfully unaware of— or just, completely disinterested in— Misty’s
sketchiness, because she snatches the bottle right out of her hand with a matching smile. Then,
before Shauna can even attempt to evade Jackie and another grueling conversation with her, Jackie
is snatching her by the hand. She pulls Shauna right off of the log she’s been sitting on with Mari
and Natalie, prompting a leering grin to formulate on the bleach blonde’s face. Way to make it
obvious, Jax!

“We’ll be right back…” Jackie states, spurring the rest of their teammates to look at her confusedly.
Like, literally everyone who has cleaned their cuts thus far has done it here, in this makeshift
trauma-bonding circle from hell. So, Jackie comes up with probably the lamest excuse ever, in a
desperate attempt to covertly sneak Shauna away. “Jesus. I love you all, like seriously, but… uh. I
know that shit is gonna sting so bad, and I’m really not in the mood to cry in front of literally all of
you… especially not right now. ”
That horrid excuse warrants a variety of reactions from the rest of the Yellowjackets, including: a
few understanding smiles, a couple of giggles, an innocent eye-roll from Tai, and an authentic
scowl from Van.

But, if anyone has any actual qualms about Jackie stealing Shauna and the bottle of Sea Breeze for
a little bit, nobody actually voices them. Consequently, Jackie is dragging a reluctant Shauna
deeper into the woods, covertly peeking over her shoulder a few times.

And then, as soon as the rest of their teammates are out of eyesight, Jackie is shoving Shauna flush
against an overly-secluded tree. The tree bark cuts into Shauna’s back, but the sting is softened by
her thick flannel shirt. Her body already aches all over— from the crash, from the hangover, from
the drugs, from the guilt— so, this somewhat sharp tree bark feels like nothing.

Plus, Shauna honestly couldn’t care less about the scaly bark pricking at her back, preferring to
place all of her focus on the way Jackie is currently looking at her. Her eyes are stormy, her lips
are parted, and her cheeks are blushing a light shade of pink. And, God. Shauna wants to kiss her
right now— needs to kiss her right now— honestly. She wants Jackie to bridge the gap between
them, merging their lips together, even after everything that’s gone on in the last forty-eight hours.

And, here’s a quick run-down of all the fucked up, soap opera-level shit that’s gone down in the
last two days: Jackie is back with Jeff, even though she loves Shauna. She claims it’s because she
needs to maintain her reputation, but Shauna thinks that Jackie still likes Jeff and her whole love
confession was a lie. Shauna then slept with Jeff out of spite, immediately after finding out that
Jackie wanted to hand her off to Randy. Then, after all that drama went down, their fucking plane
also went down. Now, they’re trapped in the goddamn wilderness, with one Coach completely
missing and the other missing a fucking leg.

Like, honestly, what a ridiculous turn of events.

So, all things considered, Shauna figures that her long withstanding desire to kiss Jackie is also
incredibly fucking ridiculous.

It seems like Jackie might share Shauna’s sentiment, because Jackie makes absolutely zero effort
to merge their lips together. Instead, Shauna watches with equal parts disappointment and
confusion, as Jackie wrings a tissue out of her pocket. It’s the same one from earlier, the tissue that
Jackie hid both of those cursed Valium pills in.

Shauna is initially confused as to why Jackie is pulling this tissue out of her pocket, but the penny
quickly drops, right as Jackie begins to douse it with a thick supply of Sea Breeze. Oh no.

“Jax… Jackie. I’m fine,” Shauna sternly states, instinctively batting Jackie’s hand away from her
face. Jackie shoots her a level look, while continuing to search for covert ways to bypass Shauna’s
defenses and swirl the tissue against the cuts on her face. “I’m— I’m bleeding the least out of
everyone. I swear I’m completely—”

“Shipman,” Jackie reprimands, almost like she’s Shauna’s fucking mother. Her tone shocks Shauna
so much, that she allows her defenses to slip for just a split second. And, of course, Jackie takes
advantage of Shauna’s disarmament. She lightly blots the cut on Shauna’s nose with the tissue,
which prompts Shauna to flinch and suck in a breath through gritted teeth. “I’m so sorry, Shauna. I
know it stings,” Jackie murmurs, voice suddenly turning all mushy and soft. Once she finishes
disinfecting the cut on Shauna's nose, Jackie places a quick kiss on it, causing the skin on Shauna's
cheeks to sear with a burning blush. And then, Jackie starts to clean out the rest of Shauna’s bloody
cuts, until Shauna realizes that Jackie’s hand is shaking.
“Hey, Jax. Are you… are you ok?” Shauna tenderly asks, circling Jackie’s wrist with her fingers.
The gesture makes Jackie completely freeze, while also spurring tears to flow from her hazel eyes.
And, as soon as the tears begin to stream down her ash-coated cheeks, Jackie pointedly shifts her
gaze downward. She refuses to meet Shauna’s eyes, staring intensely at one of the stripes on
Shauna’s newly-stained t-shirt. “Jax, c’mon. Look at me. It’s ok… everything is going to be ok,”
Shauna assures. Would it be, though?

Jackie really doesn’t seem to think so, if her absolute refusal to meet Shauna’s gaze is of any
indication. But, Shauna desperately needs Jackie to look at her, primarily because of how much
Jackie’s sobs are breaking her heart. So, Shauna releases Jackie’s wrist from her grip and deeply
sighs, right before using her newly freed-up hand to curl a finger beneath her chin. She desperately
attempts to tilt Jackie’s chin up, but Jackie stubbornly jerks her head away with a whine.

So, instead of trying to force Jackie to meet her gaze, Shauna decides to wrap her arms around
Jackie. After a few seconds, Jackie eventually eases into Shauna’s embrace, slumping her
previously tensed-up shoulders. Then, Jackie tucks her face into Shauna’s neck and wraps her own
arms around Shauna’s torso, before weeping into her pale skin. And, they are so fucking close that
Shauna can legitimately feel Jackie’s entire body quivering against hers, which prompts Shauna to
stroke Jackie’s back and whisper reassurances into her ear.

Eventually, Jackie does manage to open her mouth between sobs, voice coming out coarse and
rough. It sounds like gritty sandpaper, scratching against Jackie’s throat and Shauna’s heart. “You
almost died today, Shauna. You could have died,” Jackie wails, spurring Shauna to clutch her
tighter. She plants a kiss on the crown of Jackie’s head, while desperately attempting to blink away
the tears now threatening to spill from her own eyes. “Shauna… Shauna. You almost—”

“Jackie. Some people literally did die today. And— and you almost died today, too,” Shauna
shakily murmurs, suddenly overcome with so much emotion. She loves Jackie, who almost died.
Jackie could have died today, and Shauna was too busy resenting her— for a variety of reasons—
to even acknowledge that horrifying fact. But now, that realization hits Shauna like a freight train,
prompting her stomach to twist and turn again. But, of course, Shauna needs to remind herself and
Jackie that they could’ve lost literally all of their teammates today. "Everyone almost died today.
Mari, Tai, Natalie, Van—”

“But you’re not just like everyone else, Shauna. You mean more to me than everybody else,” Jackie
sobs, clutching onto the fabric of Shauna’s shirt for dear life. “I love you, Shauna. I love you, so
much," she whines, brushing her lips against the sensitive skin on Shauna's neck. Jackie then
begins to frantically press light kisses on it, which— combined with her words— makes Shauna
shiver all over. "Like, I love you so much, that it actually hurts. And— and you almost died,
Shauna,” Jackie frantically rambles on, her entire body now shuddering. Shauna can feel her own,
rapidly pounding heart radiating in her chest and throat as she opens her mouth to speak, but Jackie
immediately shuts her up. “You could have died… and I— I just got back together with Jeff,”
Jackie bitterly mumbles, voice filled with so much contempt. “Which, like, I care about him...
obviously. But I don’t like... love him, Shauna. And I— I didn’t mean for you to see him, crawling
out of my bedroom window. He just showed up, Shauna. It wasn’t planned— I swear it wasn’t
planned. Because I... I only got back together with him because I was scared. I’ll break up with
him, as soon as we get home, I promise. It’s just that… I don’t want people calling me the d-word,
like they do to Tai and—”

“Please, Jax. Please… slow down,” Shauna whispers, pulling back— in order to get a good look at
her. Her eyes are red-rimmed, dried blood remains on the edges of her hairline, and she has tear
trails cascading down her ash-covered cheeks. The sight spurs a crooked smile onto Shauna’s lips
and Shauna’s own eyes to begin to water, right as Jackie finally meets her gaze. “So… um. What
were you saying… about Jeff?” Shauna breathily asks, peering into Jackie’s eyes. She then tucks a
wayward strand of hair behind Jackie’s ear, while she patiently awaits a response.

“I uh…” Jackie shakily starts, biting down on her trembling lip. “I got back together with him
because I was scared. He randomly came over, right after you left. It wasn’t planned… and I was
freaking out. I only got back together with him because…” Jackie pauses, sucking in a deep breath.
Shauna brushes her thumb along the edges of Jackie's face, rubbing away at the layers of dried
blood, caked into her usually flawless skin. “I just… I don’t want people talking shit, Shauna. Like,
I don’t want people calling me a— well, you know— while I go to my fucking locker. And… I
don’t want that to happen to you, either. So, I thought that I could stop that from happening, by
convincing you to date—”

“Randy Walsh,” Shauna painfully finishes, desperately trying not to sound absolutely mortified.
Jackie sheepishly nods her head, sniffling a bit. And, just as suddenly, it feels like there is a pile of
bricks laying on Shauna’s chest. She misread the situation entirely, allowing her Ivy League brain
to jump to conclusions, overthink, and spin wild theories. Shauna slept with Jeff because she
thought that Jackie didn’t actually love her. But, Jackie does love her, she’s just scared.

Shauna deserves to burn, in actual Hell.

“Yeah. And I’m— I’m so sorry, Shauna. For everything. I really fucked things up,” Jackie laments,
on the verge of tears again. It takes every ounce of Shauna’s willpower not to tell Jackie that she is
the one constantly fucking things up, behind the scenes. “But… I— I love you, Shauna. And I do
want to be with you, like, really badly. So… if you can forgive me, maybe we could try?” Jackie
shyly asks, this sheepish grin playing at the corners of her lips. “I— we would have to take it slow.
Like, we would have to keep it between us for a bit, but I promise—”

Shauna cups Jackie’s face between her hands, capturing her lips with her own.

And, Shauna pours her heart and her soul into this kiss, desperately fighting to prove her undying
devotion to Jackie through it. The faint, metallic taste of blood lingers between both of their
mouths, but Shauna doesn’t care. She also kisses Jackie through the salty flavor of their combined
tears, ignoring the way it stings her tongue.

It’s a delicate kiss, sharply contrasting the grave situation they’ve found themselves in. And,
Shauna isn’t just referring to the plane crash, either. No, Shauna is referring to the lies and the
betrayals that she has committed behind Jackie’s back, too.

Maybe they’re already doomed, and have been, since Jackie decided to kiss her in Lottie Matthew’s
manicured bathroom.

Before Shauna can ruminate on that thought further, Jackie is breaking the kiss. She slowly pulls
away, grinning shyly at Shauna, while running a shaky hand through Shauna’s disheveled locks.
“Is that a… yes?” she tentatively asks, detangling a few of the knots in Shauna’s tousled hair for
her.

"Yes, Jackie. I want to be with you too… and we can take things as slowly as you need,” Shauna
murmurs, prompting Jackie’s smile to grow even bigger. The sight makes Shauna’s heart swell, but
also amplifies the pangs of guilt that continue to shoot straight through her stomach. “I love you,
Jackie. We can do everything at your pace. I don’t care, I just want—”

Several loud screeches, as well as a loud bang, abruptly cut Shauna off.

Jackie jolts away from Shauna, so fast that it’s almost like she’s been zapped by one of the frayed
wires, hanging from the ceiling of their crashed plane.

“Shit. We should go back,” Jackie states, scrambling to grab the Sea Breeze off of the ground.
Shauna just lackadaisically nods her head in agreement, trying not to look apprehensive. It’s like
Jackie is using any excuse in the book to escape her again, which freaks Shauna out. But, Jackie
must sense Shauna’s uneasiness, because then she is pressing a firm kiss on Shauna’s lips and
explaining herself. “Ok. I swear this isn’t me like… copping out. That was a loud-ass bang and a
bunch of screams. Once we’re out of this shit-hole, we’ll discuss logistics. I promise, baby.”

Baby.

That simple word sends Shauna’s heart racing, just like it did on her birthday. And, right before
Shauna can even attempt to fulfill her sudden urge to pin Jackie against a tree, Jackie is hauling her
back toward the rest of the fucking Hive.

As they make their way through the seemingly never-ending sea of trees, Shauna vows to also tell
Jackie the truth during their logistics meeting, once they're back in good old New Jersey.

Coach Martinez is dead, Coach Scott is unconscious, Laura Lee thinks she crashed the plane by
calling her piano teacher a cunt, and Lottie has over a thousand dollars in TJ Bucks.

They’re all sitting by a dwindling fire, revealing their deepest and darkest secrets to one another, in
what Shauna considers to be an actual trauma-bonding circle. Shauna sits beside Jackie on an old
log, a blanket wrapped loosely around her shoulders, as Jackie sneakily entwines their hands
beneath the safety of it.

Jackie grins at Shauna, scrunching up her nose and blinding Shauna with those perfect teeth of
hers. The soft, orange glow of the fire highlights the edges and curves of Jackie’s delicate features,
making her look like a complete vision. Her thick lips, her big round eyes, and her little nose are all
on full display— which warms Shauna’s heart, more than the actual fire does.

Shauna’s so overwhelmed by her love for Jackie, that she hardly even registers Natalie beginning
to speak.

“I used to sell dime bags of oregano to some of the guys in our grade for like… thirty bucks a pop.
Easy fucking money… almost like stealing candy from a baby,” Natalie haughtily admits, earning
a swell of laughter from the crowd. Then, Shauna watches in equal parts terror and anger as
Natalie’s eyes glide right towards Jackie, shooting a smirk in her direction. “And, sorry to say
‘Cap, but your stupid boyfriend was one of my most loyal customers. Hope he never rolled you a
joint with that shit in it.”

As the circle erupts into another fit of harmonious laughter, Shauna notices Jackie squinting her
eyes and pursing her lips in astonishment, out of the corner of her eye. It makes Shauna grin to
herself, even though the mere mention of Jeff's name kind of makes her stomach do a dolphin dive.
But, Shauna doesn't allow herself to grimace or frown— fighting to maintain her composure—
while keeping her eyes trained on Nat. Like, she’s so hyper-focused on Natalie, that she hardly
even notices Misty fucking Quigley creeping away from their makeshift bonfire.

Natalie fucking Scatorccio, who could prove to be a bigger threat to Shauna and Jackie’s
burgeoning relationship than Shauna self-imploding Shipman, herself.

“Oh. Well, thanks for finally letting me know that I’ve smoked a pizza topping, on several
occasions,” Jackie acquiesces, prompting Natalie’s sly smile to grow even wider. “Much
 appreciated, Scatorccio.”

Natalie winks at Jackie in response to those words, causing Shauna’s blood to simmer and
overheat. And, Shauna must accidentally scowl at Natalie or something, because then her piercing
blue eyes are shifting to meet Shauna’s brown ones. Natalie furrows her brow and licks her lips,
devilish gaze alternating between Shauna and Jackie. Oh no.

“What about either of you—?” Natalie nonchalantly inquires, taking a sip from the bent can of
Coca-Cola in her hand. Shauna’s blood boils even more, temperature rising so high that she swears
she can feel steam coming out of her own ears. “Any secrets big enough to bring down an entire
goddamn plane?” she asks, waggling a suggestive eyebrow.

Shauna feels the heat of Jackie’s gaze on her, but deliberately chooses to avoid making eye contact.
It would be a dead giveaway— proving whatever theory or belief Natalie has about them,
completely right. Plus, Shauna's not in the mood to allow Natalie to destroy this unexpectedly real
thing that has formed between her and Jackie— before it has even really started— at all. And,
Shauna knows that if she were to merely gaze at Jackie's innocent face while currently sitting on
the hot seat, she would suddenly feel inclined to admit to all of the treasonous shit she's done. So,
rather than allowing herself to fuck up, Shauna keeps her eyes fixed on Natalie’s. It's a deliberate
challenge, with Shauna practically daring Natalie to open her fucking mouth.

And, Shauna swears that she catches Natalie’s lips slightly part, right before a deep— and
distinctly male— scream rips through the peaceful woods. It echoes and reverberates all around
them, disrupting their bonding session and Natalie’s opportunity to expose Shauna and Jackie’s
asses.

Both Jackie and Shauna make absolutely no effort to investigate what caused the ear-piercing
scream, choosing to keep their asses glued to the smooth log beneath them.

Only Van, Tai, Lottie, and shit-starter Natalie ditch the bonfire, in order to pursue that horrific
sound. They rush through several trees, leaves crunching beneath their heavy sneakers.

Shauna finally meets Jackie’s gaze and offers her a nervous smile, right before squeezing her hand.
Jackie smiles back all sweetly, completely oblivious to Natalie’s outward threats and Shauna’s
inward ones. Then, Jackie is running her thumb up and down the length of Shauna’s hand all over
again, allowing the fabric of the blanket to shield the action from the rest of her teammates.

Maybe Shauna wasn’t actually in Hell, after all. Like, there was no way that an Angelic person like
Jackie would be sent to such an awful place, anyways.

Chapter End Notes

coming up next: the lake/cabin situation, which makes jackie and shauna fight like a
divorced couple.
 a thin line between shauna and jackie
Chapter Summary

“Oh? Wanna tell me why?” Shauna asks, waggling an eyebrow and nudging her
shoulder against Jackie’s. She considers Shauna beneath lowered lashes, jutting her lip
out in a pout. Then, Jackie vehemently shakes her head and crosses her arms over her
chest, like a stubborn child. “Fine. Guess I’ll just… sit here and bug you. Y’know…
until you finally decide to tell me why I’m not allowed to be funny.”

Jackie lets out this flustered little huff, almost like she didn’t anticipate Shauna caring
this much. It’s almost like Jackie expected Shauna to just trapse back inside, spooked
off by her relatively modest meltdown. “You’re just…” Jackie whispers, darting her
eyes away from Shauna’s face. Shauna instinctively nudges her shoulder again, in an
attempt to get her to continue on. “You’re just— so fucking annoying. You’ve been
annoying me, all fucking day,” she grits out, clenching her jaw.

Or: Shauna sides with Tai over the whole lake/staying with the plane debate, so Jackie
acts like a little jealous freak.

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

June 5th, 1996

Three excruciatingly long and inconsequential days have come and gone since the Yellowjackets
were unwelcomingly ushered into the depths of Hell, daylight hours continuously ticking by
without any sign of rescue or relief. Consequently, days and nights have begun to bleed right into
each other, eerily similar to the way in which blood oozes freely from Coach Scott’s severed leg
and the open wounds on practically everyone’s faces. At this point, Shauna reluctantly awakens
each morning, then immediately starts longing for the sun’s rays to disappear behind the sea of
green. Shauna wakes up each morning with less and less hope, allowing sleep to be her fleeting
source of happiness and temporary escape from her horrific reality.

But, so far, today has been slightly different from all of the other days they’ve spent trapped in this
seemingly never-ending and impenetrable forest. Instead of just sitting around and complaining
about the food supply, her teammates decided that it was time to bury the dead. So, an hour earlier,
Shauna had the undeniable privilege of attending a massive funeral. And, Shauna swears that as
she watched Van struggle to pour chunks of dirt over the bloody bodies of Rachel and Coach
Martinez, a part of herself died with them. It’s like a piece of her soul had been forcibly torn right
out of her aching body, then immediately buried beneath a clump of shoddy soil and crunchy
leaves.

And, the rest of Shauna’s teammates seem to share this sentiment too, if their tired eyes, grumbling
stomachs, and deep frowns are of any indication. So, yeah. Shauna isn’t the only one sulking away
under the beating hot sun, suddenly wishing she was back in shitty New fucking Jersey. Group
morale has undoubtedly withered to the bone at this point, fading away— in perfect unison— with
the rise and fall of the sun.
Unsurprisingly, it somehow manages to decrease even more, as soon as Van begins rationing what
is left of their meager food supply.

The make-shift funeral is long over, leaving most of the team to mope around right near the hull of
their shattered plane and the graves of those lost. It kind of feels similar to their first night trapped
here, except their original fire’s long since gone out. And, well. Unlike their first night here, a
resounding silence permeates over their circle, instead of laughter and chatter. Shauna swears she’s
never heard silence quite this loud in her life, although she tries desperately to ignore it.

So, in order to busy herself and her mind, Shauna clambers right off the tree log she’s been sharing
with Jackie and fucking Natalie. Jackie shoots Shauna this sidelong glance— this like, lingering
little doe-eyed pout— as she watches Shauna kneel down beside Van. Shauna’s maybe like, a foot
length away from Jackie now, so there’s no legitimate reason for her to get this upset. And,
Shauna’s seen this look so many times over the past few days, that she swears she is slowly
becoming a bit desensitized to it.

Like, ever since their delightful crash landing into the middle of fucking nowhere and her egregious
cut-cleaning mental breakdown, Jackie has not let Shauna out of her sight. And, sure. Shauna finds
it kind of cute— views it as visual proof that Jackie really is in love with her— but she also is
starting to find it deathly irritating. She’s been following Shauna around like a lost puppy day in
and day out, legitimately trailing behind Shauna whenever she ditches the group’s makeshift camp
to pee.

So, although Shauna wasn’t initially all that bothered by Jackie’s clinginess, it really is starting to
take a toll on her. It’s beginning to make Shauna feel all sweaty and sticky with claustrophobia,
primarily because Jackie’s refusal to leave her alone also serves as this constant and pesky
reminder. Jackie is up Shauna’s ass during every waking moment of the day, but still avoids
discussing the “logistics” of their relationship. Plus, Jackie somehow manages to attach herself to
Shauna’s hip during sleeping hours, too. Jackie snuggles up against Shauna’s back every night,
wrapping herself around each of Shauna’s achy limbs, in a downright smothering embrace. And,
the Jackie-related fun doesn’t even stop there, either. Jackie has even begun to sneak her way into
Shauna’s dreams, prompting Shauna’s own sub-conscience and resting hours to become absolutely
suffocating, as well.

Consequently, as Van hands Shauna a box of Snackwell’s cookie cakes to split up and pass out to
the remaining Yellowjackets, she refuses to spare Jackie another glance. Instead, Shauna focuses
all of her attention on chopping the rest of the Devil's Food cookie cakes in half, while fighting
against the urge to make a snide comment about the snack’s ironic name. Like, Shauna figures that
the rest of her teammates aren’t really in the mood to laugh over the way everything seems to imply
that they really are trapped in Hell on Earth, so she bites her tongue.

“Here,” Van murmurs, before handing an extremely bent-up bottle of water to Akilah. “Split this
water. We only have four more of those bad boys, so I better not see any of you spill that shit,” she
adds, in a clear— but desperate— attempt to revitalize the group a bit. But, even Van’s cheeriness
fails to liven the Yellowjackets up, which just makes Shauna even more grateful that she decided to
just… keep her own fucking mouth shut.

But, Shauna isn’t granted the opportunity to focus on the incredibly flat looks that Lottie and Mari
offer Van for very long, because then she feels Jackie’s smoldering gaze on her— yet again. So,
Shauna shoots Jackie a small smile and passes her one of the ironically-named cookies, in the
name of appeasement. “Close your eyes… and pretend like it's a fresh piece of bacon,” Shauna
jokes, prompting a barely-there grin to materialize on Jackie’s lips. And, even though Shauna’s
kind of annoyed at Jackie right now, she can’t help but match her smile. Before Shauna even knows
it, her smile is automatically growing even wider, as she watches Jackie nibble away at that cookie
like a little mouse. She looks so cute and soft right now— gripping that small cookie with two
hands and wearing her stupid, little striped sweater— which briefly alleviates all of Shauna’s
annoyance.

Unsurprisingly, it doesn’t take very long for Jackie to start pissing Shauna off again, though. As
soon as Jackie begins to chew on her cookie— all thoughtfully and slowly, like it’s a gourmet
meal, at some five-star restaurant— Shauna turns her attention back to splitting the rest of them.
She drops her head and manages to slice two more of the little snacks in half, attempting to help
Van out a little bit. But, of course, Jackie quickly steals her attention away from her goddamn
cookie chopping in seconds.

Several quiet whines and whimpers float through the air, all of them coming from Jackie’s general
direction. Shauna keeps her head down and continues cutting, but sneaks a quick glance at Jackie,
out of her periphery. And, of course, Shauna finds Jackie violently scratching at her leg. She digs
her manicured nails right into her tanned flesh, furiously itching at the bright red rash that has been
tormenting her since yesterday morning. Jesus Christ.

“Hey,” Shauna murmurs, lightly batting Jackie’s hand away from her own leg. With Jackie’s leg
now uncovered and on full display, Shauna is quickly able to assess the additional damage Jackie’s
done to her skin. It’s blistering and raw, little red bumps covering usually smooth skin. The sight
immediately worries Shauna, mainly because there isn’t a fucking clinic that can just easily hand
Jackie an antibiotic, in the middle of fucking nowhere. And, just simply seeing Jackie this
uncomfortable upsets Shauna, although some of the other Yellowjackets definitely have more life-
threatening wounds to deal with. So, even though Shauna hates seeing Jackie wince over her itchy
leg, she still finds herself annoyed that Jackie continues to make her minuscule injury worse.
“Misty said don’t scratch,” Shauna instinctively says, although the hardness of her voice makes it
sound like a command. Jackie’s eyes glaze over a bit in offense, probably due to Shauna’s
somewhat bitchy delivery, so Shauna quickly attempts to console her. “Jackie, if you keep
scratching, it might get infected. And I don’t want you to actually get like… sick from it, or
something.”

“If poison ivy is what kills me out here, Shipman…” Jackie mutters, playfully tossing a hand up.
“Then maybe I deserve to die,” she casually finishes, a little grin playing at the corners of her
mouth

And, yeah. Shauna knows that Jackie meant for that statement to come across as a joke, but Shauna
sure as hell doesn’t find it funny, in any shape or form. So, instead of laughing at Jackie’s horrid
comment, Shauna immediately finds herself shaking her head and biting the inside of her cheek.
Considering the fact that Jackie almost did die, less than three fucking days ago, Shauna’s really
not in the mood to think about the possibility of her actually dying. Like, Shauna has barely even
begun to stomach the plane crash, while Jackie is already blabbing about potential ways she could
croak in the fucking wilderness.

But, before Shauna can scold Jackie for causing her blood pressure to spike higher than the
goddamn mountains in the distance, Travis is storming towards them. He unceremoniously bends
over and angrily seizes a bag of chips, completely ignoring everyone else’s verbal complaints,
before sauntering right past the Yellowjackets’ campsite.

“Uh—? Maybe you didn’t notice… but we’re kind of in a situation here, Flex,” Lottie yells after
him, scowling at his back. Travis pays her legitimately no mind, walking deeper into the forest,
until he fades completely out of view. “Who the fuck died and made him king of snacks?” Lottie
then exasperatedly spits, shaking her head in sheer disbelief.
“His dad, Lottie,” Natalie spits, gaze rotating across their little circle. She looks pissed— like,
almost downright offended— with her eyebrows narrowed and her mouth slightly open. “Literally,
his fucking dad,” she asserts, her gaze eventually circling back to Jackie.

And, much to Shauna’s confusion, Natalie is looking at Jackie all expectantly. Her entire body is
turned towards Jackie, who is sitting to the left of Natalie, on that stupid log. Natalie’s blue eyes
are also legitimately glued to Jackie’s hazel ones, unblinking and unrelenting. Shauna finds their
little staring match so fucking odd, especially since it suddenly feels like there’s some sort of
weird, tacit agreement between the two of them.

And, Shauna’s brand-new theory is only perpetuated by the curt nod Jackie gives Natalie, right
before speaking. “Nat’s right,” Jackie casually asserts, bobbing her head and glancing around the
circle. But, weirdly enough, Jackie doesn’t even attempt to shift her gaze towards Shauna. Natalie,
on the other hand, does spare a glance at Shauna; she shoots her this leering look, all crooked and
haughty. Bitch. “We should cut him some slack,” she adds, offering Natalie a small grin. Then,
Jackie’s bumping Natalie’s shoulder like they’re best fucking buddies, prompting Shauna’s
stomach to drop. Natalie clearly knows about her and Jackie’s little secret, choosing to fuck with
them instead of outting them, for some kind of sick and twisted thrill. And, of course, terminally
sociable Jackie fucking Taylor is too oblivious to realize that.

“Well. I guess it’s fine if we all starve to death. Y’know, as long as poor Travis’ feelings are okay,”
Mari snidely says, scoffing right at Natalie and Jackie. “And, since when are the three of you all…
chummy?” Mari mock-whispers, earning matching eye-rolls from Jackie and Natalie. And, Shauna
swears she has never truly liked Mari— or, specifically, her pettiness and passion for drama— all
that much, but Shauna’s currently kind of thankful for her. She’s a fucking bitch, through and
through, but she’s also outwardly voicing what everyone is probably thinking. “Did I somehow
miss something? Ooh… wait. Let me guess,” Mari murmurs, waggling an eyebrow all
suggestively. “The two of you had a little threeway with Mr. Flex, in the plane’s bathroom. You all
joined the mile-high club… and that’s why our plane crashed.”

And, as soon as that vulgar comment gracefully escapes Mari’s loud and big mouth, the entire
group erupts into a cacophony of heavy laughter. Well, everybody— besides Natalie, Jackie, and
Shauna— enthusiastically giggle away. Instead of partaking in the group’s laughing session,
Natalie is cooly rolling her eyes and shaking her head. Jackie, on the other hand, is tomato fucking
red and feigning indifference by furiously rubbing at her rash again. And, Shauna, well. Shauna is
on the verge of bitch-slapping both Natalie and Mari across the face, her self-restraint completely
shot to hell, at this point.

But then, Jackie is speaking up, cutting right through the group’s booming laughter. “First of all…
no,” Jackie declares, nose scrunching up in pure disgust. “Me, Nat, and Travis did not have— we
didn’t have a fucking three-way. You’re all a bunch of fucking sickos,” she scolds, although her
voice is way too squeaky to sound intimidating. And, of course, that statement and the mere
concept of that ever taking place has bile rising in Shauna’s throat. “Second of all…” Jackie starts,
sucking in a deep breath and sounding way more confident. “It’s fine if Travis takes some extra
food, because once the rescue team gets here—”

“If it gets here,” Van bitterly grumbles, under her breath. It’s loud enough that everyone—
including Jackie herself— hears it, though. And, as soon as those words cut through the air, the
group falls completely silent again. It’s like the team’s little laughing session never even took
place, with how quickly everyone’s faces turn sour and solemn. Van is the first brave soul to say it
out loud, but Shauna’s pretty sure that everyone— except Jackie— has been thinking the exact
same thing.
Case in point: Jackie lets out this flustered and uncomfortable little laugh, wide eyes darting around
the circle, like everyone besides her has lost their mind. Then, of course, incurably optimistic
Jackie is shaking her head at Van for speaking the (unfortunate) truth.

“Don’t say that,” Jackie firmly states, before looking to Shauna for backup. She’s got this timid
little smile on her face, that looks absolutely forced. Her eyes are big and pleading as she gazes at
Shauna all doe-eyed, almost like she is begging for her reassurance. It’s like Jackie needs Shauna
to tell her that the rescue team is definitely on their way, so incredibly close to saving them from
this hellhole. It’s like Jackie needs Shauna to tell her that they’re going to be back in New Jersey
really soon, eating pork roll, egg, and cheeses at the beach. To put it simply, it’s like Jackie needs
Shauna to tell her that everything is going to be alright, even if it’s a blatant lie.

And, yeah. Shauna wants to reassure Jackie that she is right— that rescue is coming, that they’re
going to be home soon, that they’re not trapped here— but she can’t. Suddenly, it’s like Shauna has
met her lie limit, which she simply cannot exceed. After months of ruthlessly lying to Jackie’s
innocent face, Shauna somehow can’t find it in her heart to tell Jackie another one. Like, even
though Shauna knows that this lie will make Jackie feel better instead of worse, she still cannot
bring herself to tell it.

So, instead of shoving another lie down Jackie’s throat and forcing her to choke on it, Shauna
chooses to tell the truth.

“I mean… it has been three days,” Shauna stoically states, prompting that forced smile to melt right
off of Jackie’s mouth. She instantly replaces it with a frown, right before allowing her entire body
to slump a bit. And then, Jackie is staring at Shauna with sharp eyes, her intense stare cutting deep.
Clearly, that wasn’t the answer Jackie was looking for, at all.

But, of course, Jackie refuses to relent. She’s not prone to listen to the advice or opinions of others,
often way too hyper-fixated on getting her way. Shauna should’ve known she’d continue trying to
stubbornly push her far-fetched hopes and expectations onto everybody else, regardless of how
bleak their current reality really is.

“They’re coming,” Jackie resolutely announces, glancing around the circle. She smiles with her
teeth this time, all upbeat and hopeful. It makes Shauna’s heart shatter a little bit, which just allows
all of her guilty feelings to seep right through those cracks and into her already fractured soul. “I
swear guys… they’re coming.”

Natalie gazes up all wistfully at the sky, almost like she’s waiting for some kind of sign to just
drop from thin air. Laura Lee just lackadaisically nods her head, a barely-there smile on her lips.
Lottie blankly stares straight ahead, almost like all of her thoughts are somewhere else. Mari
resolutely shakes her head, taking a dramatic sip of her water. Akilah picks at her nails, avoiding
Jackie’s gaze. Van bites down on her lip, refocusing her attention on rationing the food.

And, last but not least, Shauna says and does absolutely nothing. She pointedly darts her eyes away
from Jackie and her hopeful little face, desperately fighting the urge to not accidentally say
something that absolutely crushes Jackie.

The stale silence that re-emerges amongst the group is oddly comforting to Shauna, this time.

“Guys, guys!” Tai excitedly proclaims, emerging from the forest. Her regularly level voice drips
with excitement and vigor, immediately catching Shauna’s attention. She plows through the trees
and towards the campsite, running even faster than she usually does on the soccer field. And,
considering Tai’s tremendous work ethic and sheer determination, Shauna considers that to be a
truly remarkable accomplishment. “There’s a lake! There’s a lake!” she announces, all breathless
and frantic. And, those words drip from Tai’s mouth with such an incredible amount of
enthusiasm, that they encourage everybody— well, everybody besides Jackie— to slowly rise to
their feet. “I saw it from that hill,” she confidently adds, gesturing to her left. Everybody’s eyes
instinctively follow the motion, except for Jackie’s hazel ones, which are currently too busy
studying Shauna’s face. “It looks about… four or five miles away.”

“Do you— do you think we could hike it?” Shauna finds herself instinctively asking. She catches
Jackie’s eyes alternating between her and Tai, mouth agape and eyes crinkled up in bafflement.

“It’s pretty rocky… but yeah,” Tai confidently states, bobbing her head and smiling widely.

Shauna notices Jackie nervously tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, right before watching
Jackie reluctantly stand up from her seat on the tree log. “Uh, we uh— we can’t,” Jackie
incredulously stammers, crossing her arms over her chest. She looks to Shauna for backup, but
Shauna chooses to immediately dart her eyes downward. So, Jackie lets out a deep sigh, before
gesturing a hand toward the wreckage. “We can’t just… leave.”

“We’ve got two days of water, tops,” Tai asserts, eyes swiveling amongst the group. Jackie just
shakes her head in response, letting out this impatient huff. “And then what are we gonna do, once
we’re out of water? Just… sit around and die?”

“What if the rescue team comes?” Jackie animatedly says. She sounds so desperate— almost like
she is just grasping at straws, at some sense of control— at this point.

“Do you think they’re taking their time on purpose?” Tai asks, squinting her eyes right at Jackie.
It’s a clear challenge, which Jackie instantly shrinks away from. Instead of responding to Tai or
offering up any real counterargument, Jackie just lamely shrugs her shoulders up. “If they knew
where we were…" Tai confidently starts, glancing directly at Shauna. “They would be here,
already.”

“You don’t know that,” Jackie instinctively retorts. She sounds exactly like a little kid who has just
gotten into some stupid argument with their fucking mom, which definitely does not help her case,
at all. And, Shauna must not be the only one who makes this connection, because Tai is now
staring at Jackie with her mouth agape.

“What do you think, Coach?” Laura Lee suddenly asks, slashing through the tension. Everyone’s
attention then darts to Coach Scott and his bloody leg, wrapped in a t-shirt from Coach Martinez’s
luggage. And Misty is right beside him, just like she has been, for the past few days. It’s kind of
far-fetched and fucked-up, but Shauna can’t help but notice a bit of a connection between Misty
and Jackie. Like, Jackie’s been following Shauna around like a lost puppy, while Misty’s been up
Coach’s ass like she’s a seagull and he’s a piece of bread.

“I don’t— I don’t know,” Coach Scott says, gripping onto the calf of his butchered leg. Misty grins
and gazes at him all wantonly, which makes Shauna instinctively gag. Like, Shauna swears she
finds Misty fucking Quigley’s constantly bizarre behavior more ridiculous, than the fact that she is
now a plane crash survivor. “Uh, I mean, you’d have to leave me behind. I guess,” he admits,
earning a little head shake from Misty. “But it’s whatever.”

“We could make you a stretcher,” Tai confidently states, prompting an incredulous laugh to spill
from Jackie’s mouth. “Seriously,” she sharply states, talking right at Jackie. “If we take turns
carrying it, then—”

“No!” Jackie abruptly shouts, flinging her hands up. “This— this is bullshit. I say no,” she
stubbornly huffs, stomping her foot. She sounds and looks like a petulant child, on the verge of a
full-on temper tantrum. Part of Shauna wants to tell her to calm down, but she really is not in the
mood to provoke Jackie into biting her head off. “We’re not leaving this fucking plane. There’s no
fucking way,” Jackie commands, glancing around at the rest of the team. “Okay?”

The resounding silence is back, except it is absolutely painful this time. Everyone is awkwardly
gazing between Jackie and Tai like they’re divorced parents, actively fighting in front of their
children. And, for some strange fucking reason, Tai and Jackie are both staring intently at Shauna.
It instantly reminds Shauna of when her actual parents would fight, but like, pre-divorce. Like,
whenever her mother and father would verbally spar, they would always use Shauna as some kind
of weird pawn. They would take turns strategically gaining Shauna’s full support and affection,
right before parading her around like she was some kind of trophy. It almost felt like they used
Shauna to stick it to one another, attempting to make it seem like she loved one of her parents, way
more than the other.

Thankfully, Tai decides to free Shauna from her sudden placement on the hot seat, clearly sensing
the discomfort on her face. “Let’s put it to a vote,” Tai murmurs, nodding right at Shauna. She
instinctively looks away, catching Jackie glowering, in her periphery. “All in favor of waiting
here?” Tai asks, somewhat cloyingly.

Jackie’s hand immediately shoots up, quick as lightning. Then, Jackie is glancing around the circle,
watching as some of the girls gradually lift up their hands. Lottie, Laura Lee, and Mari all
hesitantly raise their hands up, prompting a little grin to materialize on Jackie’s lips. And,
thankfully for Shauna, Jackie is way too busy counting up the rest of her votes to even notice that
she didn’t raise her hand. It’s almost like Jackie doesn’t even see Shauna voting against her as a
potential threat, whatsoever. Like, Jackie must think that she’s got Shauna’s automatic and
unanimous vote, because she doesn’t even spare Shauna a glance as Tai announces the other
option.

“All in favor of the lake?” Tai haughtily asks, glancing around the circle with a smirk. And,
unsurprisingly, Tai’s plan churns in way more votes than Jackie’s. Travis, Natalie, Misty, Van, and
Akilah all vote in favor of the lake; plus, their hands shoot up way more confidently and quickly
than Jackie’s voters’ hands did, for some reason.

And then, Shauna is gazing absently at the ground, slowly and shyly lifting her hand into the air.
Of course, right as Shauna manages to stick her hand up high enough for Tai to see it, she can feel
Jackie’s intense eyes on her. Her gaze is so scorching hot against the side of Shauna’s head, that it
sears her like the fire they almost left Van to burn alive in. Even without meeting her gaze or
glancing up at her tan face, Shauna knows that Jackie is absolutely fucking pissed.

Shauna thinks Jackie’s sudden anger towards her is kind of ridiculous and misplaced, honestly.
Like, Shauna is literally just doing what she thinks is best for the group, that’s all. It’s not
Shauna’s fault that Jackie misread this entire polling process as some sort of popularity contest,
either. Like, this isn’t the goddamn Wiskayok High School prom king and queen election, in any
shape or form. It’s also nothing like the Yellowjackets’ team captain election, in which Jackie
literally beat Taissa, by the way. Like, Shauna isn’t voting for Tai’s plan because she likes Tai
more than Jackie, as a person. She’s voting for Tai’s proactive survival strategy, over Jackie’s
passive one.

It’s not a personal attack, but Jackie seems to see it as one. Like, Jackie seems to view Shauna
voting against her— in Tai’s favor— as some sort of ultimate betrayal, for whatever reason.

“Then it’s settled,” Tai firmly announces, which finally prompts Shauna to gradually shift her gaze
upward. But, of course, Shauna’s eyes instantly gravitate toward Jackie and the scorned look on
her face. “Everyone… go grab your shit. We’re going swimming!”

And, with that command, all of the Yellowjackets quickly disperse. Everybody sprints for their
respective pieces of luggage, snatching up duffel bags, suitcases, and backpacks. Well, all of the
Yellowjackets do that, besides Jackie and Shauna. Rather than allowing Shauna to go grab her
stuff, Jackie decides to force Shauna to compete against her, in an icy staring match.

Shauna remains frozen in place, her lungs constricting and her heart thumping wildly in her chest,
as Jackie legitimately shoots daggers at her. Like, Jackie looks so fucking furious, that Shauna
swears she can see steam coming out of her ears. Her face is bright red, her eyes are practically
slits, and her lips are contorted in this leering grimace. Neither of them blinks, or breathes, or
moves a muscle. They just stare at one another, in complete and utter silence.

Well, that is until Jackie lets out this condescending laugh, shaking her head in disbelief. Shauna
instinctively parts her lips to speak, but before even a single word can spill from the back of her
throat, Jackie is shouldering right past her. And, of course, Jackie deliberately barrels her weight
right into Shauna’s already aching shoulder. It sends Shauna stumbling back an inch, the action
shocking her so much that she doesn’t even have the wherewithal to turn around and watch Jackie
storm off.

For the first time in days, Jackie is no longer clinging to Shauna like a stray dog, leaving her
completely alone. And, ironically enough, Shauna instantly misses having Jackie attached to her
hip.

Sneakers thump against the forest floor, crunching up clumps of leaves beneath their rubber soles.
Exasperated huffs and sharp gasps fill the silence, making the Yellowjackets’ hike toward the lake
all the more unbearable. Nobody speaks, as they trek across the uneven and rocky soil, toward the
alleged lake. It’s so solemn and silent, that it is almost like they’re on their way to another funeral.

Jackie bulldozes right past Shauna with her purple suitcase in hand, inelegantly forcing her way in
front of Shauna. She’s holding the suitcase so awkwardly, carrying it in her arms, instead of
dragging it along the forest floor. Jackie also refuses to just put its handle down, allowing the cold
plastic to jab into her face whenever she steps on a bumpy part of the ground.

She’s huffing and puffing all frustratedly, clearly annoyed beyond recognition, as she struggles to
carry her big-ass suitcase. Jackie’s teeth are gritted and clenched in irritation, even as she stumbles
over jagged rocks and small pebbles. Shauna thinks that Jackie looks kind of silly, especially since
that suitcase looks so incredibly over-packed with clothes that it probably weighs more than Jackie
herself. But, when Shauna offered to carry the suitcase for Jackie, she stubbornly refused the
proposal. Apparently, Jackie is so stubborn that she would rather bumble and groan over a stupid
suitcase, instead of simply accepting Shauna’s clear attempt at an olive branch.

Shauna thinks Jackie is acting fucking ridiculous, almost like a spoiled fucking child. It’s like
Jackie’s pride is more important to her than having water to drink, or water to rinse off her sweaty
and bloody body in. But, even when Jackie is all moody and aggravating like this, Shauna still
craves her goddamn attention and praise.

So, Shauna decides to extend another stupid olive branch, thrusting her half-full water bottle right
into Jackie’s strained face.

“You want some?” Shauna asks, immediately earning a sidelong glance from Jackie. She stares
right at the water bottle, right before shifting her gaze to Shauna. Her hazel eyes are harsh,
narrowed right at Shauna’s face, in clear-cut annoyance.

“Your backwash?” Jackie questions, with a scoff. She glares at Shauna for a little longer, then
pointedly shifts her gaze back in front of her, staring all intently at Mari’s stupid back. “Hard pass.”
She hurls the words right over her shoulder, oh so casually.

It drives Shauna to let out a deep sigh, while also prompting her brown eyes to roll in exasperation.

“Hey,” suddenly rings the hushed voice of Tai. Jackie lets out this wry little jeer, then shoves her
way past Mari, immediately sauntering closer to Natalie. And, Shauna isn’t granted much time to
react to Jackie’s dramatic exit or the fact that she is now talking to Natalie, because Tai is then
sidling right up to her. “Thanks for having my back… during the vote,” Tai murmurs, glancing
uneasily between Shauna’s face and Jackie’s back.

“I didn’t have your back,” Shauna automatically spits. The fact that both Tai and Jackie seem to
view her vote as some kind of indicator of where her loyalties currently lie has Shauna’s blood
boiling in her veins. Like, it literally was not that profound, or that fucking personal. And, if it ever
really came down to it, Shauna would instinctively choose to have Jackie’s back over Tai’s back. “I
just thought it was the better plan. That’s it,” she sharply adds. It comes out way less confidently
than Shauna intended it to, leaving her mind spinning.

Did she legitimately choose Tai over Jackie, after all? Like, was her vote some kind of weird
display of rebellion, driven by her slight aggravation toward Jackie? Was it a way to stick it to
Jackie, after allowing her to dodge their whole “logistics” conversation, for days?

Jackie vowed that they’d talk about their thing once they got back to New Jersey, but she made that
promise days ago. Didn’t Jackie recognize that their chances of making it back home swiftly were
practically vanquished, at this point? Like, couldn’t they just talk about it, out here?

Shauna didn’t have the answers to any of those questions, now lingering at the forefront of her
weary mind.

“Well, either way. It was the right call,” Tai firmly states, offering Shauna a quick grin.
Confidence practically drips right off of her as she says these words, but Shauna is still a bit of a
skeptic.

“You don't know that,” Shauna sharply fires back, which kind of derails Tai a bit. She looks struck,
almost like Shauna’s just shot her down a few pegs. But, considering the fact that she is already
clashing with Jackie, Shauna’s not really in the mood to pick another petty fight. “I mean… we
think we know what we’re doing,” Shauna calmly adds, gazing up at Tai all sincerely. Tai’s own
face has softened a bit at the edges, evidently a little less offended now. “But we actually have no
fucking clue what we’re doing, in this stupid situation. We’ve been acting on a fucking whim,
hoping for the best.”

And, as soon as those words tumble from her mouth, Shauna isn’t quite sure which situation she is
referring to. Like, Shauna genuinely cannot tell if she is referring to their survival mission, or to
more minute things.

Although those words definitely correlate with the group’s current and somewhat chaotic survival
strategy, Shauna can’t help but acknowledge how they also connect to her and Jackie’s relationship
stance.

After discovering one mutilated bear carcass and taking about a million aching footsteps, Shauna
has seriously begun regretting her decision to vote in favor of Tai’s plan. Like, at this point, Shauna
swears that this stupid fucking lake doesn’t even exist. She swears that this was all some sort of
sick scheme, designed to piss Jackie off. Or, maybe, this scheme was meticulously crafted just to
pit Shauna and Jackie against each other. And, if that was Tai’s goal, she has certainly
accomplished it.

Jackie refuses to even look in Shauna’s general direction, even though Shauna is literally trailing
right behind her, in the group’s stupid single-file line. But, of course, Jackie has already found a
Shauna stand-in to keep her entertained. She’s been chattering excitedly with Natalie for the past
hour and a half, their voices too low for Shauna to eavesdrop on their conversation (unfortunately).

But, although Shauna can’t necessarily hear Natalie and Jackie, she sure as hell can fucking see
them. And, it’s like Jackie has been putting on a goddamn show this entire time, just to piss Shauna
off. She’s been all flirty and weird with Natalie for the majority of this goddamn hike from hell,
legitimately right in front of Shauna’s face.

Apparently, Natalie is the funniest person in the entire fucking world, because Jackie keeps tossing
her head back and laughing at everything that spews out of her stupid mouth. She also begins to
graze her hand along Natalie’s shoulder blades— like, literally every single time they start to lowly
whisper— which prompts Shauna to frown so hard that it stings. And, when Natalie takes Jackie’s
luggage and begins to carry it for her, Shauna swears she’s just been sucker-punched in the gut.
Like, at this point, Shauna is one more giggle or touch away from clocking Natalie in the face.

This brand-new pseudo-friendship between Jackie and Natalie is giving Shauna whiplash,
especially since it feels like Natalie is doing anything and everything to maintain Jackie’s attention.
It honestly makes Shauna’s head throb, from both rage and confusion. What the hell is Natalie’s
angle with them? And, why the fuck has she been crawling up Jackie’s ass, all of a sudden?

Of course, that’s when Natalie decides to open her stupid mouth and begin complaining about
Tai’s plan, even though she literally voted for it. Yet another fucking instance of Natalie kissing
Jackie’s ass, solely to maintain her full and unadulterated attention.

“This shit is way longer than four miles,” Natalie complains, prompting a cloying little smile to
materialize on Jackie’s lips. Of course, Jackie is ecstatic that someone is outwardly complaining
about Taissa’s plan, besides her. Natalie is undermining Tai’s new-found leadership and
thoughtlessly supporting Jackie’s views, assuming the role that Shauna is usually supposed to fill.
It makes Shauna sardonically chuckle to herself a bit, earning a fleeting, sidelong glance from
Jackie. “What if we missed it?”

“From the angle of the sun, it looked just left of due north,” Tai announces, trucking forward. She
doesn’t turn around— just continues marching onward, without paying Natalie or Jackie any mind
— which Shauna knows is the wrong decision.

Case in point: Jackie lets out this wry little laugh, shaking her head and looking to Natalie for
support. Of course, Jackie’s brand-new bestie gives it to her, by covertly flipping the bird in Tai’s
general direction. Tai is none the fucking wiser, but Jackie seems to find it hilarious, if the girlish
giggle she lets out is of any indication. And then, in typical Jackie Taylor fashion, she is bitching
and moaning— yet again.

“Oh, great! It’s just… I don’t know. To our left,” Jackie leers, rubbing her palm over her sunburnt
face. “That’s a real precise way of doing it,” she adds, earning a resoundingly loud laugh from
Natalie. It’s so fucking forced and fake that it makes Shauna roll her eyes, teeth grinding in her
mouth. And, the sound of Natalie’s ear-piercing laughter also finally snatches Tai’s attention,
spurring her to spin around and glare at Jackie. “Great work, Tai!”
“Hey, Jackie. Sorry to tell you this, but I’m not a fucking cartographer,” Taissa deadpans. Jackie
begins to sputter a bit— clearly taken aback by Tai’s abruptness— right before offering her a little
scoff. Watching Tai and Jackie stand off has never been easy, especially since they’re both so
fucking stubborn. But, right now, Shauna swears it’s about five hundred times worse than it usually
is. It’s like they both have something to prove, to themselves and to the team. “We are probably
almost there, and you are the only person here who isn’t hauling around a fucking suitcase. If
anyone should be bitching right now, it isn’t—”

“Oh, hell yeah, bitches!” Van abruptly cheers, cutting Tai off. In seconds, Van is jumping up and
down, waving her arms around excitedly. Then, Van is hauling ass through this little clearing, right
toward—

An absolutely gigantic lake, masterfully concealed behind a never-ending curtain of green leaves
and thick tree trunks. It’s attached to this little beach, composed entirely of pebbly sand, way more
coarse than smooth. The water filling the lake looks a bit choppy and ripply, but the sun’s rays emit
this translucent glow upon its rippling surface, tinting it with this stunning shade of blue.
Unsurprisingly, as Shauna rushes down the pebbly shore, all she notices in the distance are trees.

Trees, that rise high into the air, like New York skyscrapers. Trees, that tightly envelop the solitary
lake and claustrophobically surround it, on all sides. Trees, that create an impenetrable and natural
boundary, between them and civilization.

It’s nothing like the overly-crowded and smooth beaches of the Jersey Shore, that Shauna has
become so accustomed to. Like, this feels nothing like the beach trips she and Jackie would take
during the summer, to Belmar or Ocean Grove. But, as Shauna and the rest of the Yellowjackets
shuck off their clothes and wade right into the blue water, she quickly concludes that none of them
would be seeing a New Jersey beach anytime soon. The stupid, suffocatingly thick forest would be
making sure of that.

So, rather than continuing to sulk over their horrific situation and Jackie’s current bitterness
towards her, Shauna allows herself to actually appreciate the lake. And, honestly, Taissa fucking
Turner really did pull through. The water is kind of freezing, but it is also super refreshing—
freeing her from the dirt, blood, and sweat clinging to her skin.

And, well. A majority of her teammates seem to agree with her, trudging into the water with
gigantic smiles on their faces. Like, Van is currently so upbeat and happy-faced, that it is almost
like she’s at some kind of five-star resort. She is legitimately splashing around the water like she is
a little kid, merrily wading around in Action Park’s infamous Tidal Wave Pool. Even Travis
terminally broody Martinez seems to be having a good time, diving straight into the lake, after
sending a few shallow waves careening at Mari, Natalie, and—

Jackie.

Jackie, who is now laying near the edge of the water, using her stupidly adorable striped sweater as
a makeshift blanket. Natalie and Mari sit on either side of her, babbling right into Jackie’s ears, but
Shauna pays both of them absolutely zero mind. Instead, Shauna trains her eyes on Jackie,
instinctively smiling a bit at the mere sight of her. Her light brown hair sways with the breeze, even
as she runs her hand through it. She’s basically naked— clad in a skimpy bra and matching floral
underwear— just like everybody else is. But, well. It’s Jackie, who isn’t just like everyone else, to
Shauna.

The sight of her sun-tanning— on, quite honestly, the most pathetic excuse for a beach, ever— in
matching lingerie, has her mind teetering towards pretty unethical places. And, yeah. Maybe
Shauna is staring a bit, particularly unabashedly. Like, Shauna will admit that she isn’t being all
that covert, raking her eyes over Jackie’s lean frame. It’s just, the sun’s rays are hitting her
perfectly right now. Her cheeks are slightly rosy from a minor sunburn, but the pinkish hue
highlights the smatter of freckles on her face. Sunlight reflects against the water, causing several
rays to slice right across her perfectly-toned abs. Honestly, Jackie’s entire tanned and toned body is
bathed in golden tones right now, leaving her glowing like some kind of beacon of hope against
this dreadful reality.

Shauna knows she’s ogling over Jackie right now, gazing at her like she’s the only girl— the only
person— in the entire world. But, to Shauna, she might as well be. Even when they’re fighting—
like they are, currently, for whatever reason— Shauna swears that Jackie is the only person she
really needs. Jackie is the only person Shauna ever wants— or, has ever, genuinely wanted— so
Shauna knows that it is going to sting, like a bitch, when she inevitably has to tell Jackie the truth.
And, not just bits and pieces of the truth, but the whole truth.

Jackie meets her gaze then, hazel eyes crinkled up and lips twisted in a sour pucker, almost like she
somehow knows what Shauna’s thinking about. It’s like Jackie can sense the guilt and the regret
currently gushing out of Shauna’s heart, similar to the way in which blood freely streamed out of
Coach Scott’s severed leg.

But then, Jackie is pointedly turning her attention back to Natalie, feigning complete enthusiasm in
the conversation that she just cooly zoned right out of. A syrupy sweet giggle erupts from the back
of Jackie’s throat, so artificial that it grates Shauna’s eardrums and her nerves.

Shauna’s eyes roll of their own accord, hands instinctively balling up into tight fists beneath the
water’s surface. It’s like the green-eyed monster has decided to take up residence in the pit of her
perpetually knotted-up stomach, pitching a tent right next to the guilt monster. Her already
teetering composure then withers away completely, as soon as she spots the unsettling look on
Natalie’s face. It provokes Shauna’s blood to boil, like a tea-kettle left on the stove for way too
long.

Natalie’s biting down thoughtfully at her lip, eyes flickering between Shauna and Jackie like she is
a spectator at a grueling fucking tennis match. Then, Natalie’s gaze freezes on Shauna, taunting her
with a sneer and a condescending wink. Shauna initially refuses to take the bait, focusing all of her
attention on sucking in and letting out a few calming breaths. That is, until Natalie begins to drum
her stupid little fingertips against Jackie’s thigh, breezily shrugging her shoulders up at Shauna in
mock innocence. And, somehow, the fact that Jackie doesn’t do anything about it— doesn’t stop
Natalie, doesn’t bat her hand away, doesn’t get all weirded out— makes Shauna even more
infuriated than the action itself.

Seriously, what the fuck?

If looks could actually kill, Natalie fucking Scatorrcio would be buried six feet under, body
wedged uncomfortably between Rachel’s and Coach Martinez’s. Shauna can feel her face twisting
into this uncomfortably dark shade of red, searing anger rushing through her like a tidal wave. The
vein on the side of her forehead bulges and throbs, probably because of how tightly she is
currently clenching her jaw. Blood rushes into Shauna’s ears, making her feel all light-headed and
hazy— the alarming image in front of her smearing and fraying, a little bit, at the edges.

Shauna is about to storm right out of this lake with as much grace as a category five tornado,
rushing toward where Natalie, Jackie, and Mari sit, faster than a roaring gust of wind. She’s about
to tear Natalie’s grimy little hand right off of Jackie’s skin, allowing her mind and body to be
viciously overtaken by the power of the green-eyed monster. Then, she is going to wind her own
hardened fist back, right before—
“Guys… look!”

Lottie’s voice scratches against Shauna’s brain, briefly relieving her carnal itch to deck Natalie in
the nose. She follows Lottie’s command, darting her eyes away from Natalie and Jackie, towards
whatever it is that she is currently wagging a finger at.

It looks like… like a cabin. A rickety wooden cottage, standing smack dab in the middle, of a tree-
covered hilltop. It looks straight out of a fairytale— this little house, eerily erect, deep within the
woods. Shauna swears it could be some sort of mirage, produced by a blend of the sun’s distorted
rays and everyone’s desire for some sort of shelter.

Either way, that eerie cabin is a sigh of relief, just like the lake was.

“There’s something on the hill!” Van yells, toward those laying on the shore. And, just like that,
Jackie is quickly scrambling upright. The movement causes Natalie’s hand to automatically fall
from Jackie’s thigh, which is another sigh of relief— but, well, just for Shauna. “Come on!” Van
excitedly adds, gesturing to Shauna and the rest of the girls, still wading in the water. Jackie’s
smile is brighter than the sun itself right now, gazing at the cabin like it’s her dream home. “Let’s
go check it out!”

And, with that, everybody is scrambling to rush out of the lake’s relieving water. Well, everybody
besides Lottie, who has this crooked little frown on her face. She remains frozen in the water,
glazed-over eyes still glued to the cabin’s visage. Lottie makes absolutely zero effort to trudge her
way back to the shore, seemingly way too busy gawking up at the cabin— all forebodingly, all
uncomfortably, all weirdly— to start throwing her clothes back on.

Shauna doesn’t have the energy or the willpower to even attempt to interpret Lottie’s bizarre
reaction right now, though. All of the energy has left Shauna’s body by now, liveliness and
patience sucked clean out of her, by Natalie and Jackie’s bullshit.

So, as Shauna grabs her flannel off of the beach and begins haphazardly buttoning it up over her
underwear, she actively chooses to ignore Jackie. She furiously shoves her t-shirt and shorts into
her backpack, desperately trying to ignore the sizzling feeling of sharp hazel eyes on her back.
Shauna shakes her wet hair off of her shoulders and allows it to cascade down her damp flannel-
covered back, hoping that it will serve as another barrier between her skin and Jackie’s fiery eyes.

It doesn’t.

“This. This is a fucking nightmare.”

So, the cabin in the woods isn’t all that fairytale-like and magical, after all. It’s lifeless and grimy,
covered in decades-old cobwebs and a blanket of dust. There’s a horrifyingly jarring deer skull
tacked above a crumbling fireplace, which is surrounded by a bunch of faded couches. The cabin
lacks its own personal landline— like, go fucking figure, there’s no phone service in the woods—
so it’s not like they can call for help, or something. And, there isn’t some endless buffet of food
waiting for them, like there would be if they had made it to their stupid hotel in stupid Seattle.

Instead, there’s a pantry filled to the brim with bent-up cans of expired food, all of which are long
since edible. And, that includes the can of watery and rancid spinach, that Jackie excitedly popped
open like it was a fucking Hershey bar. That can of spinach, which is now rolling around listlessly
on the cabin’s cracked floor, its mushy contents strewn around like vile puke.

Jackie barrels past the group and right out of the cabin’s dilapidated front door, slamming it shut so
forcefully behind her, that Shauna’s afraid it might fall right off of its hinges. Nobody really pays
her sudden outburst any mind, quickly resuming their aimless explorations of the cabin, as soon as
the door clangs shut with a loud creak. Like, there’s an eye roll from Van and a little snicker from
Tai, but that’s honestly it. Jackie’s apparent new best friend, Natalie, also makes absolutely zero
effort to calm her down or collect her. She exasperatedly rubs the heel of her hand into one of her
tired eyes, before disappearing into an unexplored, adjoining room.

Shauna, on the other hand, is rushing out the door and after Jackie in seconds.

She finds Jackie sagging on the splintering porch, elbows on her knees and palms covering her
face. There’s an open tube of lotion laying right next to her, which is now essentially flattened and
emptied, from the way Jackie has been vigorously rubbing the white cream into the blistering skin
on her leg.

Shauna sucks in a shaky breath, before instantly sidling up beside Jackie. But, Jackie is quite
literally out of it, failing to acknowledge the way the ground creaks and dips next to her. She pays
Shauna zero mind, hands practically glued to her sunburnt face, as she lets out a few sniffles and
sighs.

It’s only when Shauna places a tentative hand at the base of Jackie’s spine that the lighter-haired
girl startles, back stiffening and hands flying off of her face. She offers Shauna a fleeting and
puffy-eyed sidelong glance, before abruptly huffing and shifting her gaze forward. Her eyes are
wells of emptiness, gazing at the insurmountable forest surrounding them, in shuttering defeat.

Even though she’s still kind of mad at Jackie— can still feel the vehement jealousy blistering
uncomfortably hot, from all of her pores— it absolutely shatters Shauna’s heart seeing her like
this. Like, Shauna’s become so accustomed to Jackie’s unwaveringly peppy and bubbly personality
over the last decade, that it is absolutely jarring to see her so despondent. Jackie has never quite
looked this down and out before, looking worse for wear than she did right after her beloved cat
died, back in the fifth grade.

She’s crushing Shauna’s heart with a mallet— bashing it up into granulated dust, allowing bits and
pieces of it to float away with the wind— but she’s also scaring the absolute shit out of her.

“Jackie,” Shauna cautiously states, as she begins to slowly slide her hand up and down her back.
Jackie’s body quivers beneath her touch, but her eyes remain dazedly trained ahead. “Are you—
are you ok?”

As soon as those words instinctively fly out of her mouth, Shauna instantly regrets saying them
aloud.

“Am I ok?” Jackie splutters indignantly, breaking off into a scoff. She wrenches her head around at
a lightning-quick speed, so fast that Shauna is genuinely afraid that Jackie’s just given herself
whiplash. But, if Jackie is currently in any physical pain, she definitely does not allow it to deter
her. She’s too busy glaring at Shauna, face creased and lips bowed in an uncomfortably sharp
grimace, to seemingly worry about anything else. “What the fuck do you think, Shauna?”

“I— uh,” Shauna stammers, fighting the urge to wince. Jackie is literally shooting daggers at her,
piercing Shauna’s already aching body with her sharp eyes. Her hand freezes on Jackie’s back,
halting in its soothing motion. “I… Jack—”

Then, Jackie is totally breaking down, messily and ungracefully. Fury streams out of her like the
lava that erupts from volcanoes, all molten hot and ready to wreak havoc. Like, Jackie legitimately
goes balls-to-the-fucking-wall, ballistic.
“Are you fucking blind, all of a sudden? Like, do you need glasses now, Shauna? We are trapped,
in the middle of fucking nowhere!” Jackie exclaims, frivolously waving her hands around. “I’m
gonna die, you’re gonna die, we’re all going to die! There’s no food, there’s no actual water. We’re
living in a creepy cabin in the motherfucking woods, for the time being!” Her voice pitches higher
and higher, hitting a peak that Shauna swears is loftier than the tips of the mountains surrounding
them. “And, what? Misty fucking Quigley is our goddamn physician, nurse, and surgeon? All
combined in one?” She pauses, briefly, just to let out a deeply unsettling laugh. “Misty’s our
doctor… Tai’s our shiny new leader. Everything is totally copacetic, Shipman!” Sizzling tears
streak down her reddened face, as her hazel eyes go wide with faux excitement. “Y’know, this is
exactly how I wanted to cap off my high school experience. Who needs to compete in a National
tournament? And, fuck graduation and prom, honestly! Why waste money on a dress you’ll wear
once, when you could just… I don’t know. Be in a plane crash, for fucking free!” She grits her
teeth tightly, violently grinding and smacking them against one another. “It’s so much more fun out
here… way better than dancing around! God, I’m sure everybody back home is so jealous of all the
fun we’re having!”

“Allie is probably so mad that she broke her leg. She wasn’t able to be in a plane crash with us, so
now she has to wear that prom dress she wouldn’t shut the fuck up about. The horror,” Shauna
murmurs, dryly. The words breezily drip right off of her tongue, although she knows they’re not
appropriate. Like, Shauna knows Jackie is about to rip her a new one; Jackie’s in slapping range, in
punching range, in kicking range. Shauna is undoubtedly screwed, for attempting to crack a joke
and lighten the mood.

An awkward silence fills the air, as Shauna awaits some kind of verbal— or nonverbal— reaction,
from Jackie. Shauna expects a leering laugh or a disapproving eye-roll, in response to her
comment. She expects a verbal assault— a slew of insults, a series of screams, maybe even a few
sobs. She expects a physical assault, too— maybe a slap across the face, or a kick to the shin.

All Shauna gets in response, is a sneaky smile and a covert giggle. Jackie’s anger is momentarily
side-lined, as she desperately tries (and fails) to conceal the amusement creeping onto her face. She
fights to bite the smile back— rushes to contain it, before it spreads— but, Shauna has already
spotted it. So, of course, Shauna immediately matches it. Her own mouth splits into this cheeky
grin, teeth on full display and lips curled up so high that it kind of hurts.

“There she is,” Shauna says, smiling brightly. She uses the hand she has on Jackie’s back to her
advantage, playfully jostling her back and forth. “Welcome back, Jackie Taylor. No idea who that
was before, but she kinda reminded me of Misty on a good day.”

“Fuck off,” Jackie states, although there is zero malice behind it. She purses her lips in a last-ditch
effort to maintain her irritated veneer, but Jackie clearly knows her cover has already been blown.
She lightly rolls her eyes, then shoves Shauna’s shoulder in mock-offense. “You’re such an idiot.
And you’re so not allowed to be funny right now.”

“Oh? Wanna tell me why?” Shauna asks, waggling an eyebrow and nudging her shoulder against
Jackie’s. She considers Shauna beneath lowered lashes, jutting her lip out in a pout. Then, Jackie
vehemently shakes her head and crosses her arms over her chest, like a stubborn child. “Fine.
Guess I’ll just… sit here and bug you. Y’know… until you finally decide to tell me why I’m not
allowed to be funny.”

Jackie lets out this flustered little huff, almost like she didn’t anticipate Shauna caring this much.
It’s almost like Jackie expected Shauna to just trapse back inside, spooked off by her relatively
modest meltdown. “You’re just…” Jackie whispers, darting her eyes away from Shauna’s face.
Shauna instinctively nudges her shoulder again, in an attempt to get her to continue on. “You’re
just— so fucking annoying. You’ve been annoying me, all fucking day,” she grits out, clenching
her jaw.

The incredulous laughter that bubbles from the back of Shauna’s throat is involuntary, but it still
pisses Jackie off, all the same. “I’ve been annoying you all day? Seriously?” Shauna spits,
affronted. Jackie rolls her eyes, like she can’t believe Shauna is bold enough to ask her that. Almost
like Jackie thinks Shauna just woke up this morning, fully prepared and hell-bent, on pissing her
off. It makes Shauna’s blood boil, an immense feeling of resentment taking over her common
sense. “You’ve been ignoring me, literally all day long, so how the fuck could I even do anything
to annoy you?” Shauna wails, picking up more steam. “You’ve barely said one word to me, or even
looked in my direction, since this morning. And— and I’m not the one parading fucking Natalie
around like she’s a goddamn trophy.”

“Yeah, ok… Tai,” Jackie fires back, this saccharine sweet smile on her face. Shauna instinctively
rolls her eyes and scoffs, as soon as Jackie re-establishes eye contact. “How are things going,
between you and your new best friend? Did you have such a great time at the lake today, Shauna?”

Shauna sinks a tooth into her lip, preventing more incredulous laughter from spilling out of her
mouth. “That’s what this has all been about? You acting all buddy-buddy with Natalie, flirting with
her in front of my fucking face. It’s all just been because you’re mad that I voted for Tai’s stupid
plan?” Shauna snickers, arising from the porch. Jackie huffs in response, tensing the arms she has
folded over her chest. Shauna glowers down at her, shaking her head in disbelief. “Jackie. It didn’t
fucking mean—”

“Uh-huh. Yeah,” Jackie murmurs, glancing upward. She flattens Shauna with a level look, licking
her lips and laughing all cloyingly. “You siding with Tai over me. You choosing Tai over me. It
didn’t mean anything… to you. Glad to fucking hear, that it was such an easy decision for you.
Thank you, Shauna Shipman.”

In seconds, those words have Shauna’s blood pressure soaring, to a downright life-threatening
degree. She fists her hands into her own hair, gripping onto dark locks in frustration. “That wasn’t
— it wasn’t fucking personal. I just… voted for what I thought was best for the group. Now we
have a water supply we can use to bathe and drink— like, once we boil it,” Shauna firmly says,
straining to dissolve Jackie’s stubbornness. Jackie purses her lips, eyes dashing away from
Shauna’s. “Jackie… come on. I would never choose Tai over you. Like, maybe Tai’s ideas over
your ideas, sometimes. But… you’re my best friend, Jackie,” Shauna murmurs, softer now. Jackie’s
eyes flit upward, shyly meeting hers for a second, before darting away again. It has Shauna letting
out a deep sigh, before leaning down to whisper in her ear. “I love you, Jackie. Like, I really
fucking love you. I would never choose anyone over you… especially not Tai.”

But, didn’t she choose Jeff over Jackie? Not once, but twice?

Shauna pulls back then, focusing all of her attention on Jackie, instead of on that nagging voice in
the back of her head. And, Jackie finally meets her gaze again, a sheepish smile playing on her lips.
“Ok,” Jackie quietly acquiesces, sounding a bit embarrassed. “I believe you… it just sucked. Made
me feel shitty, a little bit,” she adds, earning a sympathetic nod from Shauna. Then, Jackie is
anxiously gnawing on her lip, looking like she could burst into tears at any moment. “And I’m—
I’m sorry, too. For… for trying to make you jealous, with Natalie. It’s— she’s—”

“It’s fine. Just… please don’t do it again,” Shauna whines, nearly begging. Her sudden shift in
demeanor has Jackie’s eyebrows raising in confusion, as well as her head tilting to the side. Either
she’s playing coy, or she really is clueless as to how much Shauna genuinely does love her. “Your
uh— Natalie thing?” Shauna sheepishly starts, provoking a head nod from Jackie. “It worked…
like, a little too well.”

“Hmmm,” Jackie murmurs, lips curling into a victorious smirk. Shauna’s stomach flips, filling with
butterflies. “So, I did make you jealous,” Jackie haughtily murmurs, unwinding her arms from
across her chest. She leans back, placing her palms on the porch, so she’s propped up on her
elbows. And, based on her casual demeanor, Shauna knows she is about to gloat. “Wow. I mean, I
thought you were just being all… broody. Y’know… with all the glares you shot in Nat’s direction.
Oh, and the way you’ve been frowning all—”

“You were jealous first,” Shauna deadpans, prompting that smirk on Jackie’s face to instantly melt
away. And, of course, Shauna instantly replaces Jackie’s smoldering grin with one of her own. “If I
didn’t vote for Tai’s dumbass lake…” Shauna trails off, leaning back into Jackie’s ear again.
“Then I wouldn’t have gotten you so worked up…” she whispers, dropping her voice an octave.
Shauna smirks against the skin of Jackie’s neck, noticing the shiver that wracks through Jackie’s
body in response to her words. “That you just… had to use Nat to piss me off.”

Jackie sucks in this incredibly sharp breath as soon as Shauna pulls back, almost like somebody’s
been tightly squeezing her lungs between their fists. She squints her hazel eyes at Shauna, then
twists around, glancing at the cabin. Then, before Shauna can even ask her what the fuck she’s
doing, Jackie is practically lunging at her. She wraps her dainty fingers around Shauna’s wrist— so
roughly, that her nails bite into Shauna’s skin— before hauling her off into the woods.

Shauna doesn’t really know how far into the woods Jackie drags her, but she does notice that the
cabin is suddenly way out of their view. She’s about to voice her concerns over that fact— about
the like, genuine possibility of them getting lost out here— when Jackie loosens her grip on her
wrist. But then, before Shauna can brace for impact, Jackie is planting her hands on Shauna’s chest
and roughly shoving her back against a secluded tree trunk.

Her head hits the hollowed-out wood with a loud thunk, scratchy tree bark chafing against the wet
flannel-clad to her back. And, maybe her body would hurt— like, maybe Shauna would feel the
sting— if she was given the time to register it, or fixate on it. But, Jackie is immediately slamming
their lips together, kissing her roughly. It’s all teeth and tongue, so messy that Shauna awkwardly
fumbles her hands upward, gripping onto the collar of Jackie’s stupid polo shirt for dear life.

Jackie’s hands, in stark contrast, move with an incredible amount of precision and ease. She shifts
her lips to Shauna’s neck, biting and sucking purple bruises onto her skin, as she moves her nimble
fingers down the buttons of Shauna’s flannel shirt. It makes Shauna ache, sending a wave of heat
flaring into her lower abdomen.

“Jax— Jackie,” Shauna groans, as soon as Jackie undoes the final button. Jackie gazes at her body
and hums, this appreciative little sound, before sliding one of her hands down the ridges of
Shauna’s bare stomach. “I think we should really talk about— talk about logistics,” Shauna says,
voice pitching higher on that last word. Jackie’s fingers inch closer to the waistband of her
underwear, until just the tips of them are teasingly creeping beneath the thin fabric. “So we can…
avoid another—”

“Sweetie,” Jackie cloyingly murmurs, prompting Shauna to let out a strangled groan. Her hand
slides even lower, dipping fully into Shauna’s underwear. Jackie purposely ghosts her fingertips
over where Shauna legitimately needs her touch the most, grinning so fucking smugly when Shauna
moans. “I’ve been thinking about this… all day long,” she says suggestively, voice dropping an
octave. Shauna automatically lets out this little whimper, her brain so unexpectedly swirly that
she’s unable to try and bite it back. It has her cheeks searing in slight embarrassment, right as
Jackie finally presses her fingertips against her. Jackie pulls back to gaze at her, this stupid little
smirk playing on her lips, which prompts Shauna to let out this needy little whine. “Let’s sideline
talking for later,” she commands, before strategically circling her fingertips roughly against
Shauna. It has Shauna fisting the collar of Jackie’s shirt even tighter, keeping her grounded, as
electric sparks shoot down her spine. “You’re so sexy when you’re angry.”

Shauna barely manages to choke back a guttural moan, which Jackie seems to take as a signal to
continue with her ministrations. She strokes her fingertips harder, pressing roughly against
Shauna’s center. It has Shauna tipping her head forward with a whine, pushing her forehead up
against Jackie’s own. And, even with the way her eyes are currently drooping open and closed,
Shauna manages to catch the satisfied little grin on Jackie’s face.

The sight sends another pang of arousal rushing through her, right towards that blindingly white
knot of heat, currently twisting within the pit of her stomach. She instinctively rocks her hips up
towards Jackie’s fingertips, the dizzying pleasure nearly making her sob. Then, Jackie is biting
roughly at her own lip, slipping a finger into Shauna and thrusting hard.

Shauna whines, screwing her eyes shut so hard that she swears she sees stars. She unceremoniously
tosses her head back, skull clanking against the tree’s bark, with a moan. Jackie wastes no time in
leaning back in, kissing Shauna’s neck roughly, before trailing her brutish lips higher. She crooks
her finger just right, prompting Shauna to let out this ragged moan, right as she begins to whisper
into her ear.

“I fucking love you, Shauna,” Jackie declares, panting a bit. She adds another finger, pistoning in
and out of Shauna faster, as she continues circling her with her thumb. Shauna just whimpers in
response, the pressure in her abdomen almost unbearable now— like a crushing weight on top of
her, preventing her from breathing. “I love you, so much. I don’t want to share you, with anyone.
Ever,” she rasps, sending Shauna’s hips bucking wildly into her fingers.

She’s so close that it almost hurts, blinding heat coursing through her and threatening to burst at
any moment. Shauna squeezes her already closed eyes even tighter and knits her eyebrows in
intense concentration, trying to focus on all things Jackie. But her mind fights back, conjuring up a
series of vile images: Jackie and Natalie, flirting throughout the day. Scorching hot jealousy spirals
within the pit of her stomach, fusing with the already muddled tangle of arousal.

Shauna is teetering on the precipice, waiting im(patiently) for one hard and final shove from
Jackie. She needs Jackie to put her out of her misery, sending her hurtling over this metaphorical
cliff. And, of course, Jackie does.

“You’re all mine, baby.”

Heat swells through her entire body, from her head to her Converse-covered toes. It’s almost like
she’s being ripped apart at the seams, waves of electric shocks shooting up and down her spine.
There are stars behind her eyes, so many that Shauna swears there must be a whole galaxy hidden
behind her eyelids. Her mouth instinctively droops open, hips stuttering uncontrollably. She
tightens her grip on the collar of Jackie’s shirt, nails threatening to tear at the white fabric, as she
clenches around Jackie’s fingers.

Her knees buckle as she lets out one final and guttural moan, but Jackie is there to catch her before
she falls. She wraps her arms tightly around Shauna’s midriff, keeping her wobbling body upright.
And, Shauna maintains her hold on Jackie’s collar, although she does lean forward to tuck her
sweaty face into the crook of Jackie’s neck. Then, Jackie is gliding a hand up and down Shauna’s
spine, whispering reassurances into Shauna’s ear.

It’s only when her breathing has finally leveled out a bit, that Shauna slowly pulls back. And, of
course, Jackie is already gazing at her all triumphantly. She’s got this arrogant grin on her face,
lips slightly parted and an eyebrow cocked up. It makes Shauna roll her eyes, but it also makes her
want to kiss Jackie… all over again.

“Wow. So, remind me again…” Jackie murmurs, unwinding her arms from around Shauna’s waist.
Shauna releases her grip on the collar of Jackie’s shirt, in favor of running a hand through Jackie’s
hair. “Why can't I keep purposely trying to make you jealous? That was so hot, Shauna.”

Shauna’s free hand darts upward, swatting Jackie lightly on the shoulder. “You’re nuts,” Shauna
mumbles, prompting an airy laugh to spill from the back of Jackie’s throat. “Seriously… like
clinical.”

“Oh yeah?” Jackie asks, waggling an eyebrow. Shauna is about to open her mouth and let a
sarcastic response spill right out of it, but then Jackie is stopping her dead in her tracks. She begins
to button Shauna’s flannel back up for her, fingers agilely working their way up the front of her
shirt. It’s such a sweet little gesture, pulling right at Shauna’s heartstrings. And then, once Jackie
gets to the final button, she abruptly pauses. But, before Shauna can ask her if something’s wrong,
Jackie is suddenly gazing up at Shauna all lovingly— eyes gooey and mushy. Her triumphant smirk
twists into this sheepish little grin, demeanor shifting in seconds. “Or maybe…” Jackie trails off,
slipping the final button back into its hole. “I’m just nuts about you.”

God. Jackie is so stupidly charismatic and charming.

Those words spur the butterflies living in Shauna’s stomach back into flight, wings clattering
haphazardly against her ribcage. A gigantic grin works its way onto her kiss-swollen lips, curling
into her sunburnt cheek. She automatically leans in closer, the tip of her nose bumping right against
Jackie’s. “You’re so—”

“Are you kidding me right now? A bad feeling?”

Tai.

Jackie’s eyes turn to saucers, flying comically wide open. Shauna instinctively jolts her face away
from Jackie’s, covering Jackie’s mouth with the palm of her hand.

“I don’t believe in that shit, and you’re not going to either. Ok, Lottie?”

Shauna and Jackie exchange a lingering look, riddled with shared confusion. Jackie’s eyebrows
knit tightly together and Shauna can feel Jackie frown beneath her palm, still firmly placed over her
lips. Then her eyes dart between the direction of Tai’s voice and Shauna’s face, silently asking
Shauna if she understands what is going on. Shauna automatically shrugs, because she’s genuinely
as lost as Jackie is, right now.

“So get your ass inside. Unless… are you suddenly in the mood to be a wolf’s fucking dinner? Do
you really wanna end up like that bear we saw, earlier today?”

Then, the tell-tale sound of a door slamming echoes through the woods, before an eerie silence fills
the air.

After a few moments of complete quiet— save for the sounds of crickets chirping, squirrels
scurrying, and leaves swaying in the breeze— Shauna figures that the coast is finally clear. She
removes her palm from Jackie’s mouth, exasperatedly rubbing the heel of her hand into her own
eye.

“That was weird,” Jackie firmly states, crossing her arms over her chest. She glances up at Shauna,
 all expectantly. “Like, don’t you think?”

“I mean… yeah,” Shauna absently murmurs. Like, Shauna recognizes that it is weird— Tai and
Lottie, mysteriously fighting over some unspoken topic. But, it’s none of her or Jackie’s business.
Besides, Shauna has much more personal matters to attend to, than Lottie and Tai’s bullshit. “But, I
think we should just… let them deal with it,” Shauna whispers, leaning back in. Her nose barely
grazes Jackie’s, before Jackie is reluctantly pushing her away.

Shauna must make a face or something— like, she must look absolutely scorned right now—
because Jackie is frantically offering her assurances. “Baby, I really wish we could… y’know. Keep
going. But… maybe Tai’s right. Like, about the wolf thing. Don’t you think we should go inside?
It’s getting dark.”

Although Shauna knows she could make some kind of snide comment about Jackie suddenly
agreeing with Tai, she keeps her big mouth latched shut. Shauna simply offers Jackie a reluctant
nod, knowing that Jackie is definitely right but secretly wishing she wasn’t.

So, Jackie offers her a lopsided smile, right before linking their fingers together.

On the way back to the cabin, Shauna ruminates over several unanswered questions— all of which
linger uncomfortably, at the forefront of her mind. Like… what is up with Taissa and Lottie? Why
the fuck is Natalie so willing to act all weird with Jackie? And, why the hell is Misty so obsessed
with Coach Scott, all of sudden?

If there is one question that Shauna is legitimately itching for an answer to, it’s that wretched
second one.

Chapter End Notes

dreams by the cranberries came on not once not twice but three times at my workplace
today and I was literally like brooooo I need to crank this chap out asap its a sign I
need to get it tg. also today was like... the actual song's anniversary so all signs said I
had to post today I guess?? also im thinkin of making a twitter just so I can announce
updates cuz I lowkey feel bad for just like... idk dropping these to and fro with
absolutely zero warning whatsoever

coming up next: jackie and shauna go on a cute wilderness date, natalie continues to
piss shauna off, and tai gets kinda nosy.
 tinted windows to shauna's soul
Chapter Summary

“You’re like…” Jackie murmurs, unwinding an arm from around Shauna’s neck. She
immediately utilizes her newly freed hand to lightly squeeze Shauna’s cheeks, in a
way that makes her lips automatically pucker up. “The cutest person ever,” Jackie
lovingly declares, leaning in and pressing a quick peck to Shauna’s squished-up lips. “I
love you, so much,” Jackie proclaims, before loosening her grip on Shauna’s face. She
then unloops her other arm from around Shauna’s neck, placing both palms on
Shauna’s chest. “Have I told you that, lately?” she asks, playfully quirking up an
eyebrow.

“Uh— uh-huh,” Shauna manages to grit out, voice coming out all scratchy— like a
piece of sandpaper. It’s a challenge, but Shauna somehow manages to swallow down
the massive boulder lodged into her throat. She then robotically bobs her head,
plastering a waveringly crooked smile onto her face. The sight prompts Jackie to tilt
her head and squint at Shauna in mild puzzlement, right before slowly opening her
mouth to speak. “I brought stuff for a picnic!” Shauna strategically (but clumsily)
announces, spurring Jackie’s mouth to latch closed.

Or: Shauna figures out what Nat knows, then goes into full-on panic-mode

Chapter Notes

i love you, bart nickerson.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

June 10th, 1996

A sharp pang of hunger shoots through Shauna’s empty stomach, sending an inelegant rumbling
noise soaring through the crisp nighttime air. She’s been out here for a while now, sitting on the
porch and absently staring out into the overwhelming darkness.

It’s better than staying inside the unbearably stifling and eerie cabin, gazing at all the cracks and
spiderwebs covering its wooden ceiling. Like, Shauna knows she isn’t going to be able to get any
rest tonight, especially with the way her concave stomach continues to relentlessly curl in on itself.
It’s an incredibly uncomfortable feeling, being this fucking hungry. Her stomach feels like this
ravenous and bottomless pit, completely unsatiated by the Devil’s Food Cookie-Cake and the
handful of Corn Nuts she’s provided it with.

Shauna has legitimately no idea how everyone else managed to discover a functioning way to
ignore their entirely empty stomachs, besides her. Like, when Shauna decided to escape the cabin’s
claustrophobic clutches, nobody fucking moved or made a sound. She ungracefully crept through
the massive heap on the floor— composed entirely of her teammates’ tangled limbs, scattered
blankets, and misshapen pillows— without eliciting so much as a weary huff or sleepy sigh. Even
Jackie— who is, legitimately, the lightest sleeper in the world— failed to stir, although Shauna had
to literally extract herself from her tight embrace. Like, considering the fact that Jackie had
practically wedged herself into every nook and cranny of Shauna’s body, Shauna expected to
accidentally startle her awake. But, nope. As soon as Shauna had managed to separate herself from
Jackie’s cuddly body, the lighter-haired girl immediately nuzzled her face right into Shauna’s
freshly vacated pillow, letting out a slew of sleepy sighs into the worn-out fabric.

So, yeah. Shauna is just sitting on this stoop, scratching her nails against the splintering edges of
wood right beside her, as she ponders her entire existence. It’s always a dangerous game— leaving
Shauna to stew in her own thoughts, like this.

And, just like usual, Jackie manages to worm her way right into the forefront of Shauna’s weary
mind. Ever since their jealousy-fueled rendezvous in the fucking woods, they’ve been sneaking
away from the cabin multiple times a day— just to hook up. Which, like, Shauna obviously has
absolutely zero problems with. But, as much as Shauna likes kissing Jackie, she would love for
Jackie to finally endorse an open discussion on the current status of their fucking relationship.

It's like, every single time Shauna brings up the whole “logistics” thing, Jackie finds a way to
avoid the topic altogether; she’ll kiss Shauna, she’ll hug Shauna, she’ll shove her hands down the
front of Shauna’s shorts. It’s irritating as hell, especially since Jackie is the one who announced
that they needed to talk logistics. Shauna isn’t the one who wants to plan and organize every public
aspect of their relationship, almost like they’re fucking warehouse workers and their relationship is
some kind of big shipment. Nope, that’s all Jackie.

The game is kind of getting a little old, real quick. But, then again, Shauna’s never really been a
master at communicating either. Like, if anything, Shauna is a level one beginner when it comes to
speaking the fucking truth. So, maybe, Jackie does deserve to be cut some slack.

Right before Shauna can consider the most suitable modus operandi for her Jackie situation, she
hears the tell-tale creaking sound of the front door opening. She twists around to glance casually
over her shoulder, a bit curious to see which one of her teammates also can’t sleep. And, maybe
part of Shauna hopes that it's Jackie, coming to collect her. Like, maybe Jackie physically cannot
sleep without Shauna cuddling into her, so she needs to find Shauna and force her back into bed.

Unfortunately for Shauna’s already dwindling patience, she doesn’t find Jackie standing behind
her, on the cabin’s rickety porch. Rather, Shauna finds the person she currently despises the most in
the entire fucking world standing behind her, absently twiddling a pre-rolled joint between her
fingertips.

Natalie fucking Scatorrcio.

“Sup, Shipman,” Natalie cooly murmurs, sticking the joint in her mouth. She pulls an old zippo
lighter out of the back pocket of her plaid pants, as she nonchalantly plops right down beside
Shauna. “Lemme guess… cabin creaks keep ‘ya up?”

“No… uh,” Shauna trails off, watching Natalie flick the lighter. Part of Shauna wants to remind
Natalie that they’re supposed to be conserving lighter fluid— like, that was literally a direct order
from Tai— but she chooses to just bite her tongue. Like, this is the perfect opportunity to gain
some intel on Natalie and Jackie’s weird-ass dynamic, so why would Shauna actively choose to
piss Natalie off? “Just really hungry. Pretty hard to sleep on an empty stomach… I guess.”

Natalie bounces her head up and down, grinning toothily around the filter clenched between her
teeth. “Uh-huh,” Natalie absently mumbles, pressing the dull, orange flame to the end of the joint.
It catches, allowing her to take a hit. She shoves the lighter back into her pocket, right before
exhaling a smooth cloud of smoke into the night air. “Shit should get a bit better soon, though,”
Natalie breezily murmurs, joint pinched between her fingertips. “Kinda glad Coach Scott’s given
up, even if the whole gun training thing is a load of fucked up bullshit. But, hey. Hunting’s on the
table now, as long as one of us has an alright aim. So, maybe meat will be, too… if we’re lucky.”

“Yeah uh… hopefully,” Shauna mumbles, feeling a bit out of place. It’s so weird, just the two of
them sitting out here and casually chatting, like Shauna doesn’t still kind of want to rip Natalie’s
head off. “So, what about you? What are you doing out here?” she attempts to cooly ask, although
her words spill out of her mouth with an automatic edge to them.

The cherry at the end of Natalie’s joint glows right beside Shauna, the faint red glimmer serving as
the only source of light within the impenetrable darkness enveloping them. Shauna can just barely
make out the curves and edges of Natalie’s features, illuminated dimly by the sizzling embers.
And, of course, Shauna can make out a little smirk playing across Natalie’s lips.

“Fuckin’ Misty snores loud as hell. Like a middle-aged man, or something,” Natalie eventually
mutters, taking another hit. Shauna forces a fleeting laugh, attempting to play it cool. And, Natalie
seems to fall for it, shaking her head and letting out a raspy chuckle of her own. “Shit is ridiculous.
Fuck Tai and Van. Fuck Akilah and Mari. Fuck Lottie and Laura Lee. Fuck you and Jackie…”
Natalie pauses, smirking at Shauna all condescendingly. Shauna swears her breath catches in her
throat, glaring at Natalie as she takes another languid hit. The smoke billows smoothly out of
Natalie’s mouth, right before she finally continues her stupid train of thought, after leaving Shauna
hanging at the edge. “All of you partnered up so quick, and now I’m stuck sleeping next to the
fucking ‘Quigs. She’s so fuckin’ weird… like, weirder than I ever even thought.”

“Sorry,” Shauna says, slowly releasing a breath that she didn’t even know she was holding.
Hearing Jackie’s name rush out of Natalie’s fucking mouth, after all of the goddamn Twilight Zone-
level shit that’s gone on, still apparently has Shauna’s blood boiling.

“Nah, it’s cool. I’m not like… super close with any of you. But some of you guys are like ‘ride or
die’ with each other,” Natalie mockingly declares, peering over at Shauna with piercing eyes. She
flicks her finished joint off the side of the porch, before leaning back on her elbows. “I mean… you
and Jackie have been best friends for, what? A million years? Like, since you both rolled out of the
womb?”

“Since the second grade,” Shauna grits out, jaw automatically clenching. Her temples throb and
her pulse quickens in sheer irritation, monumentally pissed off over Natalie’s cool demeanor.
Stupid fucking sketchy and nonchalant Natalie is making Shauna’s drained brain cells whirl in
loops, leaving Shauna so fucking confused and completely lost. “Why does it fucking matter to you,
anyway?”

“Jesus, I was just wondering. Take a chill pill there, Shippy,” Natalie cloyingly remarks, palms
sliding along the porch. A sick part of Shauna hopes that Natalie gets a fucking splinter, aged
wood stabbing right into the meaty flesh of her hand. “It’s just… the two of you make me laugh,
that’s all.”

The words drip off Natalie’s tongue like potent venom, creeping into every single one of Shauna’s
pores— forcing Shauna's body to roast, from the inside and out. She automatically clenches her
hands into tight fists, right as Natalie lets out this snarky and arrogant little laugh. Shauna seriously
thinks she might clock Natalie in the nose right now, her famished brain allowing her to throw her
better judgment and inhibitions right out the fucking window.

Instead, Shauna manages to control herself— simply clenching her teeth and fists, even harder.
She grinds her teeth against one another, so roughly that she might genuinely whittle all of them
down into a pulp. But, with the way Natalie’s smirking all devilishly at her, Shauna doesn’t really
care about her own well-being. All she cares about is finally getting some fucking answers.

“Do you hate me, or something?” Shauna unexpectedly asks, so impulsively and ungracefully that
Natalie looks shell-shocked. She’s gazing at Shauna like a deer-in-headlights, right before
breaking down into another bout of vicious laughter. Shauna just shakes her head, digging the heels
of her hands into her tired eyes. “What the fuck did I ever do to you, huh?” she adds, pulling her
hands away from her face. She shoots Natalie the death glare, eyebrows narrowed and lips twisted
into a scowl. It shuts Natalie up and makes her freeze, compelling Shauna to internally gloat over
finally managing to crack that icy exterior of Natalie’s, just a little bit. “Seriously? Why have you
been such a fucking bitch to me, all of a sudden?”

“When have I been a bitch to you, Shipman?” Natalie coyly asks, feigning complete offense. She
holds one of her hands to her heart, then places the other one directly over her mouth. The gesture
is literally a case in point of her behaving like a condescending and headache-inducing, bitch from
hell. “I would never do such a thing.”

“You— you,” Shauna indignantly sputters, warranting a shit-eating grin from Natalie. Shauna is
really struggling to find an example of Natalie being an outright bitch to her, in a situation that
doesn’t also somehow relate to Jackie. But, as Shauna files through all of her recent mental
memories of Natalie, she just finds a bunch of subtle and well-placed looks. A smirk, while
drumming her fingers along Jackie’s thigh. A suggestive eyebrow, while asking Shauna and Jackie
about their deepest darkest secrets. A shit-eating grin, while stealing Jackie away, at Lottie’s
victory party. “You’ve been acting so fucking weird with— with Jackie. And I’m… I’m so fucking
sick of it. Stop fucking doing it.”

“Oh,” Natalie spits, squinting at Shauna. She yanks her hand away from her mouth, revealing yet
another shit-eating grin. “So I’ve been a bitch to you… by being nice to the Homecoming Queen in
there?” Natalie asks, cocking an eyebrow and gesturing toward the cabin. Shauna seethes,
suddenly thankful for the shroud of darkness and the way it hides her reddened cheeks. And, of
course, Natalie doesn’t wait for another lackluster response from Shauna to barrel on. “Kinda
weird and possessive of you, don’t ya think?”

“Fuck you,” Shauna sharply spits, unfurling her fists. She immediately sinks her nails right into the
wooden porch, clenching it like a lifeline. “You don’t know shit.”

“What I do know…” Natalie breezily trails off, arising from the porch. She towers over Shauna
now— looming over Shauna like she is a squashed ant, with her blood and guts inconsequentially
smeared across the weathered wood. “Is that Jackie is going to need all of the emotional support
that she can get out here. Especially with someone like you as her best fucking friend," she
confidently says, ripping an affronted scoff from the back of Shauna’s throat.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Natalie?” Shauna practically roars, blood curdling in her
flimsy veins. Natalie carelessly shrugs, sauntering right past Shauna. “Do you just— just get off on
fucking with people’s lives and friendships now?” Shauna growls, swiveling her entire body
around. She faces Natalie now, glaring right at Natalie’s stupid back, as Natalie pops open the
dilapidated front door of the cabin. “Stay the fuck away from me and Jackie, do you fucking hear
—”

“Shipman,” Natalie firmly states, shifting around to face Shauna. She keeps one hand on the
doorknob, gripping it tightly, as she scoffs. Shauna is kind of glad that she can’t make out the look
on Natalie’s face right now, especially with the way her anger is already burning a simmering hole
within her chest. “Hate to break it to you, but if anyone gets off on fucking up friendships… it’s
you," Natalie cryptically remarks, causing Shauna’s already empty stomach to twist. “It’s too bad…
y’know? That Jackie still thinks you guys are tight. That she doesn’t even know about all of the
fucked up shit her best friend’s been up to…”

“I— what?” Shauna stammers, mouth agape. Feelings of anger and confusion messily spiral
together within her brain, the brand-new tangle of emotions prompting a dull pain to rush through
her temples and forehead. Natalie lets out a resoundingly loud jeer, the sound of it grating
uncomfortably against Shauna’s ringing eardrums. “What are you—”

“When we get home…” Natalie announces, stepping halfway through the front door. She still has
her eyes fixed on Shauna, gaze so sharp that it still manages to cut into her, even through the thick
blanket of darkness. “You might wanna tell Sadecki to invest in some tinted windows… or, I don’t
know. Maybe not have car-sex with your best friend’s boyfriend, in a go-to smoking spot.”

Shauna’s stomach bottoms out, sending a wave of bile from her empty gut rushing through her
esophagus. It leaves a trail of fire in its wake, throat suddenly feeling so scratchy and tingly that
she’s unable to fully speak. “I— Natalie,” Shauna practically whines, temples throbbing and ears
ringing. She feels so light-headed and dizzy, almost like Natalie gave her a lobotomy and replaced
her brain with a cotton ball. “Natalie, please—”

“Have a nice night, Shipman.”

The door clangs shut as Natalie stumbles back into the cabin, but Shauna barely hears it close, over
the sound of her rapidly beating heart. She lets out a few shallow breaths, attempting to relieve her
presently shaky limbs.

Tears fill her eyes as she turns her gaze back to the massive clump of shadowy trees ahead, vision
blurred and watery at the edges. Shauna stares absently out into the distance for a few brief
moments, before angrily fisting her hands into her teary eyes.

Her stomach lurches, sending a gurgling sound careening through the fresh air. But, Shauna knows
that this brand-new ache isn’t a result of her hunger. The dull pang currently surging through her
gut is a result of her newfound feeling of dread, twisting and tying an assortment of fresh knots in
her stomach.

Somehow, Shauna is more anxious about Natalie telling Jackie the truth, than about being stuck in
the fucking wilderness. She’s more terrified of Jackie finding out that she slept with Jeff, over
getting mutilated by a fucking wolf. Shauna honestly wishes that Natalie knew about her and Jackie
hooking up, instead of about her and Jeff hooking up.

She’s so completely and utterly fucked, in the head and in the heart.

Sunlight creeps through the dusty windows of the cabin, sending sharp rays slicing haphazardly
through the living room. One of them lands on Jackie’s face, warmth and light encouraging her to
slowly blink one of her hazel eyes open. She lets out a little sigh and a yawn, stretching an arm out,
as her cloudy vision begins to focus.

She finds Shauna looming over her, backpack messily slung over her shoulder, which apparently
prompts Jackie’s other sleep-glazed eye to flash open in a flourish. Her hazel eyes look as big as
saucers, gazing up at Shauna in sleep-laced confusion. Jackie opens her mouth to speak, clearly
attempting to gauge the situation and uncover why Shauna’s face is currently creased with unease.

But, Shauna grabs Jackie’s wrist and pulls her upright, before even a single word can tumble out of
her pretty mouth. She maneuvers Jackie through the convoluted web of bodies on the floor, hauling
her straight out of the cabin and into the woods.

“Sweetheart, are you ok?” Jackie eventually asks, all uneasily. Shauna can hear Jackie let out a
series of ragged yawns from behind her, as Shauna robotically jerks her head up and down in
response. She tenses the iron-tight grip she has on Jackie’s wrist, pulling Jackie’s languid body
through the sea of trees, like a woman on a mission. Her heart rate picks up as she storms past a
tree bend, hell-bent on getting Jackie away from Natalie and the truth— as fast as humanly
possible. “Are you… are you sure? It’s so early, and you’ve barely said two words about where
we’re going or what we’re—”

“I just wanted to surprise you,” Shauna abruptly states, way too fucking flat and way too fucking
fast. But, thankfully for Shauna, Jackie is still a bit too groggy to think much of it. She just lets out
this little appreciative hum in response, blissfully unaware of Shauna’s secret and selfish
motivations for practically shoving her out of the cabin. It makes Shauna’s heart hurt, even more
than it already does. “We’re uh— we’re almost there,” Shauna shakily says, guilt scratching at her
vocal cords.

“As adorable as I find you and this impromptu date-thingy,” Jackie practically gushes, causing
Shauna’s guilty stomach to lurch. “Can you please wait until it’s not the literal ass crack of dawn
to wake me, next time? I need to get my beauty rest in, so I can keep up appearances, Shipman.”

Her tone is light and airy, so Shauna forces out a gravelly little laugh. She peers over her shoulder
at Jackie, finding her looking all vaguely concerned. Of course, after nearly a decade of friendship,
Jackie can easily tell the difference between her fake laugh and her real laugh. Like, Shauna
seriously cannot catch a break today, in any shape or form.

“I promise I’ll let you sleep in next time. I just— I didn’t want anyone to catch us… sneaking out,”
Shauna says, feigning casualness by bobbing her head. “Yeah… I uh— I didn’t want Tai to yell at
us for leaving,” she adds, gaze darting straight ahead. “She’s been crazy lately… like, about
keeping tabs on everyone. And I— I wanted to show you this spot I found.”

Shauna is so grateful that she can’t see Jackie’s face right now— grateful that she has her eyes
glued to the slopey path ahead of them— because she instinctively knows the type of look that
Jackie is giving her. Like, Shauna can legitimately sense the dubious frown materializing on
Jackie’s lips, even without peeking back at her. She also swears that she can somehow hear the
gears twisting and turning in Jackie’s skull, even with the slight amount of distance between them.

But, there also isn’t much additional distance between them and the little clearing Shauna found the
day prior, either. So, instead of turning around and fielding any of Jackie’s questions, Shauna
chooses to drag Jackie down the rest of the rocky incline before them. She grips Jackie’s wrist
tighter, in an attempt to keep her stable, as they traverse the rocky terrain.

“Shauna, are you positive that you’re—” Jackie suddenly cuts herself off, stopping dead in her
tracks. Shauna’s near bruising grip on Jackie’s wrist causes her to stop short with her, driving
Shauna to stumble backward and right into Jackie. She instinctively holds her free hand out to
steady Shauna, preventing her from tripping and falling, right near the bottom of the pebbly slope.

As soon as Shauna regains her balance, she unlatches her hand from Jackie’s wrist. She twirls
around, noticing the little sparkles glimmering in Jackie’s eyes, as she awkwardly lifts her hands up
to the sky. “Here’s what I wanted to show you… before anyone else found it,” Shauna announces,
a shy grin on her face. Jackie remains absolutely frozen, gaze alternating between Shauna and the
wildflower-infested field behind her. “I was— I was trying to find a shortcut from the lake back to
the cabin, yesterday. Like, when I was on water-bucket duty,” Shauna rambles, as Jackie just
continues to dazedly stare at her. “And I got uh, kinda lost? But then I stumbled across all these
flowers… and stuff,” she adds, vaguely motioning her arm behind her. “Which I thought— I
thought you would really like. So, I wanted to surprise you with a—”

Jackie surges forward, looping her skinny arms around Shauna’s neck. She kisses Shauna so
passionately, that Shauna nearly stumbles backward and trips from the force of it. Shauna’s hands
instinctively dart upward, finding purchase on Jackie’s jean-clad hips.

Then, Jackie slowly pulls back, their lips parting with a loud smack. Jackie’s mouth immediately
curls into this huge grin, causing her dimples to crease her cheeks and her nose to scrunch up. She
gazes at Shauna all gooey-eyed, hazel eyes misty and sparkly in the pale sunlight. The sight makes
Shauna’s heart feel overfull, unlike her grumbling and near-empty stomach. Like, Jackie’s
lovestruck face makes Shauna feel all warm and tingly everywhere, but it also makes her stomach
uncomfortably twist.

“You’re like…” Jackie murmurs, unwinding an arm from around Shauna’s neck. She immediately
utilizes her newly freed hand to lightly squeeze Shauna’s cheeks, in a way that makes her lips
automatically pucker up. “The cutest person ever,” Jackie lovingly declares, leaning in and
pressing a quick peck to Shauna’s squished-up lips. “I love you, so much,” Jackie proclaims, before
loosening her grip on Shauna’s face. She then unloops her other arm from around Shauna’s neck,
before placing both of her palms on Shauna’s chest. “Have I told you that, lately?” she asks,
playfully quirking up an eyebrow.

“Uh— uh-huh,” Shauna manages to grit out, voice coming out all scratchy— like a piece of
sandpaper. It’s a challenge, but Shauna somehow manages to swallow down the massive boulder
lodged into her throat. She then robotically bobs her head, plastering a crooked smile onto her face.
The sight prompts Jackie to tilt her head and squint at Shauna in mild puzzlement, right before
slowly opening her mouth to speak. “I brought stuff for a picnic!” Shauna strategically (but
clumsily) announces, spurring Jackie’s mouth to latch closed.

“Really?” Jackie giddily exclaims, confusion melting away in seconds. Her eyes light up like a
Christmas tree covered in string lights, as she jostles Shauna with the palms she still has pressed
against Shauna’s chest. Shauna lets out a slow breath, tersely nodding her head. “Again, you are the
cutest person ever.”

Shauna offers her a lopsided half-smile, knowing full well that Natalie might decide to ruin that
assessment at any given moment nowadays. “I uh— sure?” Shauna murmurs, tugging her
backpack off of her back and unzipping it. Jackie’s palms slide off of Shauna’s chest as she stands
up on her tippy-toes, peering nosily at the contents of Shauna’s bag. “It’s um… probably not like a
dream picnic,” Shauna mutters, pulling out a tattered blanket that Mari had found in the cabin. She
tosses it onto the ground, before scouring around the bottom of her bag. “Unless uh—” Shauna
mumbles, hand finally landing on what she’s been rooting around for. She whips out a crushed-up
bag of Peanut M&Ms— the ones that she had packed to eat on the plane, but didn’t because of her
horrific hangover— before quickly shoving the yellow pouch into Jackie’s hand. “You count that
as a gourmet meal.”

“Oh… shut up,” Jackie groans, although there’s no real malice behind her words. She shoves
Shauna’s shoulder playfully with her empty hand, gaze swiveling between Shauna’s face and the
candy bag. “This is better than any meal at any five-star restaurant. You’re so sweet…” Jackie
trails off, as Shauna gets busy unraveling the blanket. It almost feels like somebody’s jabbing a
knife into Shauna’s gut, every single time Jackie compliments her or gushes over her. Like, Shauna
physically cannot look Jackie in the eyes right now, at all. “And you are so full of surprises.”
And, well. That one feels more like a piercing bullet straight to the heart, than a sharpened blade to
the gut. Like, yeah. Shauna is so full of surprises— like, filled to the brim with a huge assortment
of them— in all fucking honesty. She’s like a goddamn retail store for surprises, offering up a
variety of them— good ones, bad ones, subdued ones… deranged ones. Of course, sleeping with
Jeff is definitely in the deranged category… obviously. So, it’s honestly ideal and fantastic, that
Natalie fucking Scatorrcio knows all about it!

“I uh— I’m happy you're happy!” Shauna eventually sputters out, right as she manages to fully
spread the blanket out onto the green grass. She then finally shifts her eyes back up, catching
Jackie staring back at her all apprehensively, lip sucked between her teeth. And, well. Shauna
knows she’s a terrible actor— like, she knows she isn’t keeping her cool, at all— but she really is
not in the mood to answer any of Jackie’s possible questions right now. So, Shauna quickly plops
herself down onto the frayed blanket, before wildly motioning for Jackie to take a seat. “Sit!”

She says that word so enthusiastically— like, it comes out saccharine sweet, which is so unlike
Shauna— that it sounds absolutely jarring, even in her own ears. Jackie seems to share the
sentiment, gazing uneasily at Shauna, before reluctantly sitting down beside her.

“Shauna…” Jackie murmurs, absently placing the bag of Peanut M&Ms on the stretch of grass,
behind her. She leans forward, running a slow hand through Shauna’s hair. “Are you sure you’re
ok? You just seem… I don’t know. Like, jumpy.”

“Yeah… yeah. I just uh— I didn’t sleep well last night, that’s all. Kind of feeling a bit… out of it,”
Shauna vehemently states. And, Jackie seems to believe that it’s the truth, offering Shauna a
sympathetic nod and a tight smile. Then, Shauna is laying back on the blanket, tucking one of her
hands behind her head. She peers up dazedly at the clear sky, wishing that an anvil would just drop
from thin air and crush her to death. Like, at this point, Shauna would rather die than have Jackie
find out about her tryst(s) with Jeff.

Of course, right when the guilt begins to jab at Shauna’s heart again, Jackie conveniently decides
to cuddle right into her. She rests her pointy chin on Shauna’s already tight chest— legitimately,
right on top of Shauna’s rapidly pounding heart— peering up at Shauna with sparkling eyes. It
somehow makes Shauna’s heart pulsate even faster, causing it to jackhammer against her ribcage at
an absolutely bruising pace. She honestly feels like she might be going into cardiac arrest, but it’s
not like Doctor fucking Quigley is currently on-call.

“Can I ask you something?” Jackie shyly asks, right as Shauna automatically begins running her
free hand through Jackie’s light-brown locks. It’s kind of soothing, threading her fingers through
Jackie’s wavy hair. Like, it somehow lessens the immense feeling of dread working its way
through her body, effectively slowing down the unbearable waves of dull pain that continuously
stab at her chest and her gut. So, now that she feels a bit calmer, Shauna offers Jackie a small smile
and nods her head in response to her question. “When did you figure out that you…” Jackie trails
off, beginning to lightly trace her fingertips along Shauna’s lips. “That you, uh. That you liked me.
Like, that you like-liked me. As um… more than a friend?”

It’s an interesting question, especially since Shauna isn’t quite sure that she has an exact answer to
it. Shauna thinks about all of the times that she caught Jeff with his hands on Jackie or his lips on
Jackie, which would then always prompt her head to throb in irritation or her heart to sink to the
floor. She thinks about all of the times that Jackie’s radiant smile or Jackie’s tight hugs spurred
butterflies to flutter their wings, deep within the pit of her stomach. Shauna thinks about all of the
times that Jackie held her hair back for her, reassuringly combing her fingers through her dark
locks, as she hurled up copious amounts of alcohol. She thinks about all of the times that she would
let her eyes linger on Jackie’s body for far too long, whenever they changed together, in the locker
room. Shauna thinks about their first kiss at Lottie’s, how messy and hurried it was, which was a
clear indicator of pent-up emotions finally being allowed to spring free.

“I think I always kind of knew. I guess I just… didn’t want to believe it,” Shauna murmurs, as
Jackie’s fingertips glide upward. She runs them along the ridge of Shauna’s nose, as Shauna plays
with the ends of her hair. “But then you kissed me at Lottie’s… and I guess I couldn’t lie to myself
anymore,” Shauna whispers, although there isn’t really any need to be quiet. Jackie hums, smiling
up at her all misty-eyed. “What about you?” Shauna asks, tilting her head to the side. Jackie’s
fingers skate down the edges of Shauna’s jaw now, pressing feather-lightly into sunburnt skin.
“When did you realize?”

“Do you remember…” Jackie whispers, face blushing a faint shade of pink. “Max Ratner’s pool
party? The one during the summer before freshman year?”

Of course, Shauna vividly remembers the events of Max Ratner’s elusive pool party. It was the
event of the summer, specifically for the kids in their grade. Max’s parents had gone out of town
for the weekend, which allowed him to raid his parents’ massive liquor cabinet without any issues.
It was the first drinking party for Wiskayok’s Class of 1996, making attendance practically
mandatory. Shauna didn’t want to go, but Jackie did. Jackie and Jeff were still in the talking stage
back then, so as soon as Jackie found out that Jeff was definitely going to Max’s, she decided that
she also had to go. But, of course, Jackie didn’t want to go by herself or just be stuck with Jeff all
night. So, after a bit of guilt-tripping and convincing, Jackie managed to persuade Shauna to go to
Max’s house party with her and Lottie.

“Jackie, I really—” Shauna warns, as memories from Max Ratner’s cursed party begin to flash
through her mind. And, Shauna is really not in the mood to dredge up either of their recollections
of this particular night, at all.

“That was the worst night of my life. Worst day too…” Jackie firmly states, cutting Shauna right
off. She continues trailing her fingertips along Shauna’s face, now stroking around the edges of her
hairline. “Well, until our plane crashed.”

“What?” Shauna asks, suddenly so incredibly confused. Jackie raved and roared about that party
for weeks after its conclusion, claiming that it pushed her and Jeff to take the ‘next step’ and begin
to actually date. “You used to talk about that party like it was the best night of your entire life. I
remember listening to you go on and on about how thankful you were for going, because you got
to talk to Jeff the entire night. And— and then the day right after the party, you guys went bowling
at Asbury Lanes and he finally asked you to be his actual girlfriend.”

Jackie sucks in a deep breath, lightly running her fingertips through Shauna’s long eyelashes. “You
had your first kiss that night,” Jackie shakily whispers, shooting Shauna a wavering smile. “With
Kevin McNamara, during spin-the-bottle. Do you remember that?”

Of course, Shauna remembers that. She wishes that she didn’t— like, Shauna wishes that she could
lock that memory behind a door in her brain and throw out the key— but Shauna vividly
remembers her first kiss… with Kevin McNamara.

Similar to how she didn’t even want to go to that stupid party in the first place, Shauna also didn’t
want to play a round of spin-the-bottle once she got there, either. But, of course, Shauna was
quickly convinced to play. Just like how Jackie was eventually able to convince her to go to the
party, Lottie was ultimately able to persuade her into playing spin-the-bottle. Lottie practically
begged Shauna to play with her, because she wanted to see if she could get the bottle to land on
Trent Clayton. Even though Shauna told Lottie that she really did not want to play, Lottie would
not fucking give up. She was absolutely relentless, pleading with Shauna to play that stupid game
with her, because she was too scared to sit there by herself.

And, of course, Jackie allegedly couldn’t fucking play. Lottie had asked Jackie to play spin-the-
bottle with her before she asked Shauna, but Jackie quickly waved her off. Apparently, Jackie
couldn’t play— wasn’t allowed to play, didn’t want to play— because of her burgeoning thing
with Jeff. She proclaimed that she didn’t want to waste her first kiss on a stupid game, and that she
was saving it for Jeff. So, of course, Shauna was forced into playing instead of Jackie.

So, yeah. Shauna played that stupid game with Lottie, who did end up getting to kiss Trent fucking
Clayton. Shauna also gave up her spin, allowing Lottie to take an extra turn. And, thankfully,
nobody’s bottle spin ended up landing on Shauna. So, it looked like Shauna wouldn’t be having her
first kiss during a stupid game, after all.

But, well. Shauna was almost home-free, until Kevin McNamara decided to join the circle late.
Like, the last person in the circle had legitimately just finished kissing the person that their spin
had landed on, so the game was virtually over. But, Kevin drunkenly sauntered over and practically
demanded a free spin, which was granted to him rather quickly. And, well. His spin landed on
Shauna, so they kissed.

It wasn’t memorable, or romantic. It wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t good. It was Shauna’s first kiss,
but it didn’t necessarily mean anything. She wishes that it was meaningful, but it wasn’t. And,
Shauna’s still kind of bitter and angry, that it wasn’t.

Just like when she lost her virginity, to Jeff.

“Uh— yeah. I remember that,” Shauna eventually spits out, memories of Kevin and Jeff now
uncomfortably whirling within her brain. “You didn’t want to play, so I got stuck playing with
Lottie,” Shauna states, with a slight edge to her voice. She doesn’t mean to get snappy— doesn’t
mean to sound bitchy, or bitter— but she is. Shauna played spin-the-bottle with Lottie, because
Jackie refused to play. Shauna slept with Jeff, because Jackie initially refused to love her back.

Everything in her life— the good and the bad— always somehow connects back to Jackie fucking
Taylor.

“I know,” Jackie absently says, suddenly sounding about a universe away. “But I watched you guys
play, the entire time. Jeff wasn’t there yet, so I just stood around… watching,” she says, starting to
run her hands through Shauna’s hair. “And… it was awful. Like, every single time it was a new
person’s turn, my stomach just… dropped. I didn’t know why— like, at the time— but I just… I
didn’t want anybody’s stupid spin to land on you,” she murmurs, before letting out a deep sigh.
“Then fucking Caroline Pollack spun, and she was the last person in the circle. I was like, ecstatic,
when her spin didn’t land on you. I thought— I thought it was over.”

“But it wasn’t,” Shauna states, smoothing out some of the knots in Jackie’s hair. “It wasn’t over.”

“Yeah… because stupid Kevin McNamara came out of fucking nowhere. And… I swear it was like
that bottle was moving in slow fucking motion or— or something,” Jackie bitterly grumbles, biting
down on her lip. “But then it landed on you. And I swear to God, my heart like… stopped.
Watching you kiss him— I literally wanted to die. Or throw up, or scream. Like, all I wanted was
to get him off of you.”

“Oh,” Shauna declares, unwinding her hand from Jackie’s hair. She wraps that arm around Jackie’s
back, slowly dragging her palm up and down Jackie’s spine. “And is that it? Like you realized
then?”
“Kinda,” Jackie says, around a sigh. “I like… went home and cried for hours after that stupid
party,” she concedes, cheeks warping from a light shade of pink to a deep shade of red. It makes
Shauna’s stomach twist— the mere thought of Jackie hysterically crying, for hours. “And… I don’t
know. I kind of convinced myself that I was upset because— because you had your first kiss,
before me. Like, I just kept telling myself that I was jealous of the fact that you got to kiss a boy…
before me.”

“But it— it wasn’t that?” Shauna inquires, earning a resolute head nod from Jackie in response.
Her bony chin juts right into Shauna’s aching chest as she does it, but Shauna doesn’t care. She
just wants to hear what Jackie has to say, more than anything.

“No— it um,” Jackie huffs, gnawing on the inside of her lip. Shauna traces shapes onto her back,
trying to soothe her nerves. It apparently works, because then Jackie is picking up steam again.
“Well… I ended up kissing Jeff. We kissed in Asbury, the day after the party. And like, yeah. We
started dating, too. I really thought it would make me feel better. That all the… all the jealousy
would go away. That I wouldn’t feel like throwing up, whenever I pictured you and Kevin kissing.
But it didn’t. I didn’t like… feel anything when I kissed Jeff. It didn’t make me feel better, just
worse.”

“And that’s when you realized?” Shauna inquires, cocking up an eyebrow. Jackie shakes her head,
again. Jesus Christ. “So, when—”

“I like… ignored it. Told myself I was just being an overprotective best friend, or something. So, I
kept dating Jeff… which was fine. It was whatever. Until uh— the end of sophomore year,” Jackie
says, with an eye-roll. And, considering how much time Shauna used to spend listening to Jackie
complain about Jeff, she quickly concludes that she might know where this is heading. “That’s
when he started getting… impatient and fucking annoying. Fucking Mia fucking Laimbeer decided
to give Randy a blowy, which he would not shut up about. So, because stupid Randy got some
action, Jeff started literally begging for it,” Jackie grumbles, causing Shauna to wince.

“I don't...” Shauna starts, letting out a deep sigh. She can’t bear to hear Jeff’s stupid name again
right now— like, in any dumb context— because it keeps making her empty stomach fucking twist.
Like, Shauna could kind of stomach it before, when he was just a minor detail in the recollection of
Max Ratner’s pool party. Jackie talked about him like he was an afterthought, while recalling that
particular memory. But this, well. Jeff was definitely going to be a key element of this memory,
unfortunately. “I’m not sure I—”

“So then I eventually gave him a blowjob,” Jackie inelegantly announces, prompting Shauna’s
hand to fly right off of Jackie’s back. She covers her face with it, trying to hide the grimace
working its way onto her mouth. “Hey, baby. Look at me,” Jackie murmurs, untangling her hands
from Shauna’s hair. She circles Shauna’s wrist, then slowly slides Shauna’s hand away from her
face. And, of course, Shauna listens to Jackie’s command. She finds Jackie gazing up at her, all
misty-eyed, with her lips twirled in a frown. “It was like, gross. I hated it… but I thought it was
normal that I didn’t enjoy doing it. All the soccer seniors used to talk about how gross it was… to
like, give a blowjob. So, I just… didn’t really think about it? I kind of just zoned out, like,
whenever I did it.”

Shauna huffs out a trembling breath, swallowing down the lump in her throat. Each and every
word that spills out of Jackie’s mouth feels like a sucker punch to the gut, pounding at her like
there’s no tomorrow. It fucking sucks— feeling this guilty, all the goddamn time.

“But then he like, eventually wanted to repay the favor. Obviously…” Jackie whispers, unlatching
her hold on Shauna’s wrist. She then begins absently playing with Shauna’s fingers, peering up at
her with that same slight frown. “And it hurt, every time. Like it sucked. Really bad. I thought I
was like… broken, or something,” Jackie quietly admits, sounding all embarrassed. It makes
Shauna’s heart catch, in her scratchy throat. “But then… um. There was this one time he was uh—
he was touching me. It was during junior year. I think it was after Lottie’s New Year’s party, so I
was like… kind of drunk,” Jackie murmurs, picking her head up— off of Shauna’s chest. She then
props herself up on one elbow, before leaning in to kiss along the soft edge of Shauna’s jaw. “And
— and you just… randomly popped into my head. Like, when he was in the middle of touching
me,” Jackie quietly confesses, and Shauna isn’t quite sure if it's the revelation or the way Jackie is
kissing her that makes her suddenly gasp. “I didn’t like… y’know. Finish, or anything. Obviously,”
Jackie mumbles, lips drifting lower. She presses light kisses against the column of Shauna’s neck,
prompting Shauna to shiver all over. “But it… it didn’t hurt, for once. So uh— whenever he
touched me, I just… I kept automatically thinking about you. And like, I tried to stop doing it. I
knew it was super fucked up… super weird. But I couldn’t get you out of my head.”

Shauna finds it kind of ironic— royally fucked, but also kind of funny— how they both thought of
each other, while letting Jeff touch them. It makes Shauna’s already crumbling heart crack a bit
more, especially because this all could’ve been avoided. Jeff— as well as all the unnecessary,
unspoken drama he has caused— could’ve easily been bypassed. But, of course, it simply wasn’t.

“What did you think about?” Shauna automatically blurts out, voice coming out all breathy. The
words spew out of her mouth in a sharp rush of air, almost like they’ve been forcibly punched right
out of her. “Like— like about me? When you were— when you were with Jeff?”

Shauna can hear and feel Jackie let out this shaky breath, right against the delicate skin of her own
neck. It makes goosebumps prickle on Shauna’s pale skin, while also prompting her to re-thread
her fingers through Jackie’s hair. “You kissing me… instead of Jeff,” Jackie stammers, nuzzling
her face even further into the side of Shauna’s neck. Shauna continues to twirl her fingers through
Jackie’s hair, trying to ignore how unbearably fast her heart is currently racing. “You’re um—
you’re fingers on me. Instead of Jeff’s,” she sheepishly adds, prompting Shauna’s blood to simmer.
Then, Jackie is letting out this loud huff— this extremely flustered half-laugh, half-breath— right
before dropping the metaphorical hammer down, on Shauna’s throbbing heart. “You’re mouth—
on me. Like… down there.”

Her hands freeze of their own accord, pausing limply in Jackie’s hair. She feels like all of the air
has been forcibly squeezed right out of her lungs, almost like somebody’s just tossed a plastic bag
right over her head and left her to choke to death. Jackie continues lackadaisically nipping at her
neck, humming against her skin. And, Shauna is kind of glad Jackie can’t see her face right now,
honestly. Like, Shauna knows she probably looks stunned right now, almost like a deer-in-
headlights. She probably looks like somebody’s just lobbed a flashbang in her direction, with how
far her eyes are currently bulging out of their lids.

“Is that when— is that when you realized? That you… that you like-liked me?” Shauna eventually
croaks out, voice all reedy. She feels Jackie’s head bouncing up and down against the crook of her
neck in response, chin lightly jabbing into her shoulder blade. “Then why didn’t you… why didn’t
you say anything?” Shauna gripes, bitterness seeping onto her tongue. Jeff could’ve easily been
avoided, which would’ve allowed all of Shauna’s lies and betrayals to be sidestepped, too. “Why
did you keep dating Jeff, then? For two fucking years, you kept dating Jeff. You had it all figured
out, you could’ve—”

“First of all, I didn’t think that you felt the same way, Shauna. Second of all, I didn’t want to like
you like that. I literally wished to be normal and for it to go away for so fucking long, but it just
never fucking did. And, third of all. I didn’t want people thinking… well, y’know,” Jackie states,
pulling back. She gazes at Shauna with a pout, her hazel eyes all glazed-over and unfocused.
Shauna scoffs, wringing her hand out of Jackie’s hair. She rubs her palm over one of her eyes,
fighting the urge to fucking scream. “So, I stayed with Jeff. It made me feel less fucked-up. Made
me feel less like absolute shit, for thinking about you… like that.”

“Why’d you finally decide to kiss me at Lottie’s, then?” Shauna spits, anger pulsating in her chest.
But, Shauna’s not mad at Jackie, per se. She’s furious about this absolutely stupid, as well as
incredibly avoidable, nightmarish situation. Shauna is mad that Natalie knows about the Jeff thing,
as well as the fact that she seems kind of eager to drop that bomb on Jackie. Like, part of Shauna
wishes that Jackie didn’t kiss her, because that kiss undoubtedly kick-started this entire chain of
unfortunate events.

“Because I was drunk…” Jackie mumbles, biting her lip. “And you were drunk. We were drunk,
stuck in that small ass bathroom… alone. Together,” she adds, reaching for the golden chain
looped around Shauna’s neck. Jackie absently twists it between her fingers, fumbling with the
heart-shaped pendant. She remains propped up on her other elbow, with her hand supporting her
head, which allows her to peer down at Shauna all mushy-eyed. “Plus… you were so pissed at me.
And, like. I already told you… you’re so hot when you're angry. Kind of cute and pouty, too,”
Jackie whispers with a grin, which makes Shauna’s skin tingle all over. Jesus Christ. “I guess I
just… couldn’t take it anymore. Like, I wanted to see if I was right. I had to see if I actually did like
you— like, as more than a friend— or not. And, well. Obviously, I did— I do,” Jackie admits, still
absently playing with the necklace. “I love you, Shauna. Like, so much. I’m sorry it took so long
for me to say it… or do anything about—”

“Jackie. I need to tell you something,” Shauna automatically blurts out, voice gravelly. Those
words spill out of her mouth of their own accord, rushing out like vile vomit. She swears she can
feel her heart pulsing throughout her entire body now— in her chest, in her ears, in her stomach, in
her head. It’s overwhelming, how dizzy and light-headed she currently feels, too.

Of course, Jackie is then instantly peering down at Shauna with a concerned look on her face. She
is frowning again, worrying her lip right between her white teeth. Her hazel eyes are half-lidded
and foggy, but remain glued to Shauna’s own. And, Jackie drops the heart necklace back onto
Shauna’s chest, in order to run a reassuring hand through Shauna’s hair.

“Yeah?” Jackie asks, voice kind of squeaky. “What is—”

An ear-piercing crack rips through the air, sending squirrels dashing up trees and birds
instinctively flying away from the sound. Both of them jolt upward into sitting positions as another
one bursts through the air, the sharp sound echoing against the trees.

Shauna knows that the sounds are gunshots, although she’s never actually heard a gun go off
before. The popping noises are eerily similar to the racket that fireworks make, but Shauna figures
that nobody decided to stuff rockets or sparklers into their goddamn luggage. So, with her AP
Literature deductive reasoning skills, Shauna immediately infers that somebody has finally fired
the gun that Coach Scott refused to let anybody touch.

“Was that the fucking gun?” Jackie abruptly asks, clearly a few cognitive steps behind Shauna.
And, Shauna jerks her head in response, before standing up. “Wait— wait,” Jackie frantically says,
leaning forward and reaching for Shauna’s hand. She snatches it roughly, before trying to tug
Shauna back down onto the blanket. “What were you going to tell me?”

“I um— I’ll tell you later. It’s… not that important,” Shauna murmurs, with a shrug. Jackie
immediately lets go of Shauna’s hand in response, almost catatonically. “We should… we should
go back, to the cabin. Just to check and see if everything’s ok. Plus, Tai’s probably awake and
freaking out by now.”
Jackie lackadaisically bobs her head, face still creased with bafflement and a hunger for answers.
But, Jackie eventually does reluctantly stand up, right before helping Shauna shove the blanket and
the forgotten Peanut M&Ms back into her backpack.

“Guess we’ll save the M&Ms… for next time,” Jackie murmurs, snatching Shauna’s hand. She
entwines their fingers together, as Shauna slings her backpack over one shoulder. “Good excuse to
come back here, don’t ‘ya think?”

“Mhm, yeah,” Shauna absently replies, shooting Jackie a wobbly smile. “It’s a… uh. A really good
excuse.”

As Jackie practically skips back to the cabin with her fingers still firmly locked into Shauna’s own,
Shauna realizes that all of her hunger pains have suddenly disappeared. There’s a dull ache that
randomly jabs at her stomach and at her chest, but she knows that it’s from guilt— that it’s not
from starvation, at all.

And, honestly. The mere idea of food makes her want to keel over and hurl, enabling her to belch
out the meager contents currently dwelling within her stomach. Her appetite is now completely
gone, thanks to a combined effort from Jackie and fucking Natalie.

So, at least Shauna will possibly be able to fall asleep tonight, after all.

“Where the fuck did you guys go? Antarctica? Everybody was worried as hell.”

Taissa is standing right inside the doorway with her arms crossed firmly over her chest, mouth
twisted into a tight scowl. She currently looks like the epitome of an exasperated mother, whose
child missed their curfew by a couple of hours. Her foot is tapping wildly, muddy sneaker
squelching against the wooden floor, as her hardened gaze alternates between Jackie and Shauna.

“We just went on a walk,” Jackie says with a nonchalant shrug. Tai scoffs, eyes now glued to
Shauna’s face— almost like she is patiently waiting for Shauna’s explanation. It’s like Jackie’s
words hold absolutely zero weight, in Tai’s eyes. “Like, Jesus Christ. What are you, everybody’s
fucking mom now? Are we not allowed to step foot outside this cabin without consult—”

“There are literally wolves and other wild fucking animals out there, just waiting to eat you for
dinner. Plus, what if one of you fell and broke something? Do you think you could carry Shauna all
the way back to the cabin, by yourself? Hmm, Jackie?” Tai snaps, gaze swiveling right back to
Jackie. And, of course, Jackie immediately shrinks. She rolls her eyes with a huff, before covertly
sidelong glancing at Shauna. Tai lets out this deep sigh, before continuing on. “It’s a safety
precaution, alright? Like, next time, please just tell somebody that you’re—”

Just then, an adjoining bedroom door swings open so fast that the walls literally shake from the
force of it. Travis comes barrelling right out of it like a freight train, pushing past Shauna, Jackie,
and Tai with steam practically shooting out of his ears. He hurls the front door open without much
grace, before immediately storming right out of it.

“Oh. So… he doesn’t need to check in, though?” Jackie snarkily says, waving over her shoulder.
“Travis can come and go as he pleases, but we need to tell you when we leave? Un-freaking-
believable,” Jackie scoffs, glancing between Shauna and the busted-up front door behind them.
She’s looking to Shauna for back-up, but Tai’s… Tai’s kind of right.

“We’ll let you know where we’re going… next time,” Shauna abruptly acquiesces, earning a scoff
from Jackie. Tai’s eyes swiftly dart to Shauna, a gracious smile covering her lips. “I’m sorry if we
 scared you… or anyone else. We’re both sorry,” Shauna states, nudging Jackie’s shoulder. Yet
again, Jackie scoffs, glaring right at Shauna in astonishment. Then, Shauna just shrugs in response,
which is clearly the wrong fucking move. Jackie mutters something under her breath— something,
that sounds suspiciously close to the word, kissass— right before pushing past Tai. She huffs over
to the couch, practically throwing herself onto the withered cushions.

“You know I’m just trying to look out for everyone, right?” Tai eventually murmurs, reclaiming
Shauna’s attention. Her eyes dart from Jackie— who is now cuddled up in a blanket, on the couch,
beside Van— right back to Tai. “I don’t want anybody… breaking a limb. Or getting lost, or
turning into fucking wolf bait. It’s easier to keep tabs on everybody, when—”

“Tai, I get it. You’re right,” Shauna firmly states, abruptly cutting Tai off. Like, Shauna
understands where she’s coming from. She knows that they’re in the middle of nowhere, which
means that they need to be careful. It’s common sense, so Shauna really isn’t in the mood to hear
Tai repeat herself or explain herself. Plus, Shauna has a lot of questions lingering in the forefront of
her mind, which she would love the answers to. “So um… quick question, though. Was that a
gunshot, earlier?” Shauna asks, spurring an immediate eye roll out of Tai. “Me and Jackie heard
this cracking nose, while we were walking around near the lake. I just figured—”

“Oooh yeah. It was that stupid gun,” Tai crabbily states, voice coming out all aggravated. She rubs
at her eye, before taking a frustrated breath. “Fucking Travis decided he was sick of not having
food. So, he tried shooting some squirrels out of that big-ass tree outside.”

Shauna automatically breaks out into a little laugh, because just picturing Travis’ unreasonably
whiny ass wielding a gun might be the funniest shit ever. “Let me guess, he didn’t hit anything?”

“Of course not. Both bullets ricocheted off the goddamn tree and nearly hit the living room
window. He’s lucky as fuck that he didn’t break anything or literally kill anyone,” Tai announces,
tightening her arms around her chest. “Coach talked to him, though. And I’m guessing Travis
didn’t really like what he said to say, considering his little… temper-tantrum.”

“But… Coach Scott is letting us all try using the gun tomorrow still, right?” Shauna asks, eliciting
a head nod from Tai in response. “So like, we’ll probably have food soon. Travis just… needs to
fucking chill,” she absently mumbles, gaze instinctively shifting back to Jackie.

Jackie, who is now curled up into a ball on the couch, eyes half-lidded and sleep-filled. Jackie,
who is now wrapped in this obnoxiously large blanket, yawning with her nose all scrunched up.
Jackie, who is now gazing absently at the fireplace, smiling all serenely at the orange flames.

It sucks, knowing that Natalie could burst Jackie’s bubble, at any given moment. And, well.
Shauna knows that she wields the power to absolutely crush Jackie, too. Shauna doesn’t want to
hurt Jackie, but she’s really starting to think that it might be the only thing that she’s naturally good
at.

She’ll tell Jackie the truth, eventually. Shauna will admit to sleeping with Jeff, to getting into
Brown, to all of the other egregious lies she’s told. When the time feels right, when the time is
right. Jackie will be force-fed the horrific truth, bitter betrayals shoved down her throat like sour
cough medicine on a silver spoon.

It’s all going to happen on Shauna’s terms, not Natalie fucking Scatorrcio’s.

Chapter End Notes

coming up next: the gun comp, things get steamy****, jackie nearly gets yeeted by
the dead guys plane which shauna flips shit over
 two weeks, then the bomb drops
Chapter Summary

“You— you did what? What the fuck, Jackie?” Shauna practically wails, her voice
coming out so incredibly shrill that it perforates her own eardrums. It also
instantaneously grabs the attention of literally everybody on the porch, prompting all
of the Yellowjackets to hesitantly spin around. Jackie is the last hold-out, visibly
wincing and cursing to herself, as soon as she rotates around and meets Shauna’s
bulging eyes. “What…” Shauna trails off, sucking in a few ragged breaths. She can
feel herself teetering dangerously close to the edge of a full-on mental breakdown, a
sensation only exacerbated by the guilty look on Jackie’s face. “What fucking plane?"

“Well, we—” Laura Lee confidently starts, before abruptly halting. Shauna quickly
thrusts a finger in her direction, silencing her in mere seconds.

Or: Shauna freaks out over the results of the gun competition, then freaks out over
Jackie nearly getting scalped by the dead guy's plane.

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

June 11th, 1996

It’s kind of funny— annoying, but like, hilarious— how Jackie and Tai’s catastrophic and all-
encompassing feud started out of virtually nowhere.

Shauna also finds it irritating as hell, especially since Tai and Jackie used to get along, pretty well.
Sure, sometimes they would argue on the field after a particularly disagreeable play call or an
avoidable turnover, but all teammates fight. It wasn’t like they were clashing all the fucking time
back then, attempting to undermine each other using any tactic possible. They would scream at
each other and then play the fucking silent game for a few days, before Shauna would eventually
play the mediator and force them to talk it out. Her involvement was always a foolproof fix, to the
neverending and inconsequential conflicts between inherently-stubborn Jackie Taylor and overly-
determined Taissa Turner.

Well, Shauna used to be able to negotiate agreements and comprises between the two of them, until
their messy fucking war over the “prestigious” title of Team Captain. It was filled to the brim with
petty arguments and off-handed remarks, as well as a bunch of kiss-assery towards Coach
Martinez. Like, Jackie was so fiercely determined to steal that title from Tai, for reasons that
Shauna’s never been able to fully understand.

She’s always found it odd— Jackie’s sudden interest in being the team’s leader— because she had
absolutely zero interest in playing college soccer. Most of the Yellowjackets’ previous Team
Captains went off to play Division II, a future that Jackie openly denounced, proclaiming that she
would rather go to frat parties than college soccer practices. Plus, Jackie would spend basically half
of their practices on the sidelines, complaining to Coach Martinez about the weirdest things in the
world. So, it’s not like Jackie’s ever really taken the sport all that seriously, in sharp contrast to
Tai’s hardworking ass. But then, suddenly, Jackie was so hell-bent on becoming the
Yellowjackets’ leader and star player during their senior season. And, initially, Shauna was quite
certain that Jackie wasn’t going to obtain that esteemed role.

So, to this day, Shauna isn’t quite sure how— or like, even why— Coach Martinez bestowed that
title upon Jackie, instead of Taissa. Although Shauna loves Jackie— like, so much— it’s pretty
fucking easy to recognize that Tai is better at soccer than her. It’s also fairly easy to admit that she
is undoubtedly the best player on their entire team, with a skill set so fully equipped that she might
as well start playing Division One soccer right now. So, yeah. Considering how good Tai is at
soccer— as well as the fact that she used to do all of Coach Martinez’s mandated workouts,
without whining first— it makes no sense that she wasn’t elected as captain of the Yellowjackets,
during their senior campaign. Like, if Shauna were in Coach Martinez’s position, Taissa fucking
Turner would’ve been automatically elected as the 1996 Yellowjackets’ leader.

And, of course, Tai seems to share the sentiment— if her open displays of contempt for Jackie are
of any indication. Back at home, Shauna was pretty understanding towards Tai, in regards to her
disdain for Jackie. Like, yeah. Coach Martinez handing Jackie the title over Tai— with all the hard
work she put in, all the goals she scored— was definitely a slap across the face. But, it’s honestly
starting to get a bit ridiculous at this point, that even out here— in the wilderness, in the middle of
fucking nowhere— Tai and Jackie both refuse to just let sleeping dogs lie. It’s not like they’re
kicking around a stupid speckled ball in Seattle, where tossing the illustrious Team Captain card
around would actually be valuable or significant. Out here in the woods, that stupid title bears no
weight, except to fucking Tai and Jackie.

They’re still fiercely competing with each other— undermining each other, one-upping each other,
insulting each other— all the fucking time, but Shauna’s not quite sure if it’s actually for a
leadership position out here, or not. It feels like Jackie and Tai are contending for way more than
just complete control over a group of teenage girls, currently trapped in the wilderness. Like,
Shauna swears they’re both acting like they’ve got something to prove, but to who— or, for what
reason— she’s not totally certain.

And, well. Although it’s aggravating as all hell, Shauna is not all that shocked when Jackie and Tai
decide to commandeer Coach Scott’s gun-training session, in order to make it yet another one-on-
one competition.

“Slow breath in… then full exhale, then go,” Coach Scott tells Taissa, as she steadies the gun. He
leans heavily against his makeshift cane— this gigantic, serrated tree branch— while Misty places
a quarter right at the end of the gun.

The entire team is currently stewing on the splintering porch, watching intently and with a renewed
sense of enthusiasm, as the last few people take their turns with the rifle. Nobody has managed to
keep that stupid quarter steady on that grimy gun yet, so practically everyone is on the edge of their
seat, quietly begging and praying for some sort of miracle. Well, everyone, except maybe for
Jackie.

Jackie is currently milling right behind Tai, waiting impatiently for her time to shine with the
hunting rifle from hell. She’s got this smug little look on her face, glaring at Tai like Shauna didn’t
just spend half of the morning practically begging her to be more lenient with Tai and her methods
of keeping everybody safe. But, of course, Jackie appears to have cast all of Shauna’s desperate
pleas right to the fucking wayside.

“Don’t fudge it, Turner. Some of us want to eat,” Jackie taunts, crossing her arms firmly over her
chest. She glances over at Shauna, shrugging her shoulders up in mock-innocence, before
swiveling her attention right back to Tai. The gesture makes Shauna roll her eyes in exasperation,
her patience for Tai and Jackie’s bullshit wearing thinner and thinner by the hour.

“Fuck off, Jackie,” Tai mumbles, shooting her a sidelong scowl. Jackie offers her a shit-eating grin
right back, eyes sharply glued to Tai's fingers— lingering against the trigger. “How am I supposed
to focus on my own breathing, when little Miss Sweater Vest is breathing down my neck?” Tai
spits, gazing all expectantly at Coach Scott.

Coach Scott lets out this resoundingly deep sigh, pleading eyes alternating between Tai and Jackie.
“It’s not a competition, ladies. No need to make it one,” Coach Scott quietly murmurs. He sounds
so fucking dejected— so weary, so completely over it— prompting Shauna to assume that Coach
Scott might actually be as tired of Jackie and Tai’s petty bullshit, as much as she currently is.

“Mhm,” Jackie cloyingly murmurs, gazing back at Coach Scott with innocent doe-eyes. “So sorry,
Coach. I pinky promise it won’t happen again,” she adds, all sugary-sweet. It’s her fake-nice voice,
the one that Jackie usually reserves for her horrifically absent parents.

Tai lets out this loud scoff, practically guffawing at Jackie’s words and the tone of her voice.
“Whatever. Just…” Tai breaks off, refocusing all of her attention on the quarter. Her sharp eyes
remain trained on that little coin, currently teetering on the barrel of the gun. Silence spikes into the
air as Tai sucks in a deep breath, spurring everybody on the porch to uneasily glance at each other.
Then, Tai sharply lets all of the air trapped within her lungs out, hissing like a deflating balloon.
Her brows are furrowed in concentration as her dirt-caked fingertips ghost against the trigger,
pressing down lightly with a sharp click.

The quarter instantaneously clatters to the forest floor, prompting a wave of disappointed sighs
from the group on the porch. Even Shauna can’t chew back the disgruntled groan that slips right
out of her mouth, rubbing the heels of her palms into her weary eyes. But, of course, Jackie finds
amusement in Tai’s open display of failure. The sight rips a derisive chuckle right from Jackie’s
throat, all reedy and raw. It’s a pesky and petty little noise, uncomfortably scraping right up against
the inside of Shauna’s ear canal.

“Wow. Way to keep it steady,” Jackie taunts, gesturing with grabby hands for the rusted-over rifle.
Tai angrily shoves it directly into Jackie’s clutches, with her lips twisted into a deep scowl. Then,
she’s ungracefully shouldering right past Jackie and plopping down all dejectedly onto the porch,
right next to Van. “Here, Tai. Let me show you,” Jackie murmurs with a grin, cocking her eyebrow
up all arrogantly.

Although Jackie is way too busy verbally sparring with Tai to even spare a glance in Shauna’s
direction, it doesn’t stop Shauna from gawking right at her. Like, sure. Tai wasn’t able to keep that
dirt-covered quarter balanced on the barrel of the gun, when she pulled its rust-covered trigger.
But, literally, none of their other teammates could either— including Shauna herself. And, if Tai
couldn’t do it— with her unwavering determination, competitive streak, and intense focus— the
possibility of Jackie managing to do it is even slimmer, honestly. So, the fact that Jackie is
currently acting so overly confident in her shooting skills, is kind of fucking weird.

She’s acting like she used to serve in the United States military, with years of gun training tucked
underneath her stupid Lily Pulitzer belt. So, yeah. Considering the fact that Jackie’s legitimately
never held a gun before— except for like, a laser-tag gun a few times— Shauna thinks her
cockiness is absolutely ludicrous. And, this is a sentiment that Tai also clearly shares, if the way
she’s currently shaking her head in disbelief is of any indication.

“Oh, for sure. I forgot that Wiskayok requires their homecoming court to take shooting lessons,
right before the big dance,” Tai spits, earning a little scoff from Jackie. The rest of the girls— well,
besides Shauna, obviously— immediately erupt into a fit of cacophonous laughter. Van chuckles so
ridiculously hard that she legitimately slumps over, clutching desperately at her stomach. Then, Tai
is waving her hand snappily at Jackie, impatiently gesturing for her to get on with it. “Well, let’s
see these so-called skills… Captain.”

The words stickily drip off of Tai’s tongue like venom, spewing out of her mouth with this
patronizing and bitter bite to them. Jackie lets out this indignant huff in response, rolling her eyes at
the brand-new smirk gracing Tai’s lips. Then, Jackie gets into a reasonable shooting stance,
keeping her fiery eyes pointedly trained on Tai as she does so. She’s got one set of manicured
fingers wrapped loosely around the rifle’s tarnished handguard, while her other fingers rest gently
on the trigger.

“Misty,” Jackie practically hums, still gazing over her shoulder— at Tai. Shauna’s own eyes flicker
between the two of them, observing their clandestine power struggle from afar. Like, at this point,
Shauna’s decided to just give up on trying to mediate their absolutely childish conflicts. Both Tai
and Jackie are way too stubborn to listen to Shauna, or even recognize how downright ridiculous
they are behaving. “I’m all ready to go. Put that quarter up here, please.”

Of course, Misty fucking Quigley is eager to do exactly what Jackie tells her, practically fawning
over the forced smile that Jackie blesses her with. Shauna’s eyes roll of their own accord, while she
watches Misty scramble to grab the quarter off of the ground and tentatively place it onto the barrel
of the gun.

“Alright Jackie,” Coach Scott placatingly murmurs, cautiously glancing between her and Tai.
Jackie lets out this quick huff— this like, small blast of air from the corner of her mouth— blowing
a few wayward strands of hair out of her hazel eyes. “Nice and steady…”

Jackie bobs her head up and down in his direction, while absently licking her lips. Then, Jackie is
immediately shifting her gaze right back to Tai, a haughty smirk stirring the corners of her mouth
up. And, it’s only then, that Shauna fully registers how fucking hot Jackie currently looks. She’s
got her stupid little sweater vest on, with a white collared button-up underneath it. The sleeves of
the undershirt are hiked up to her elbows, tan arms on full display. And, of course, Jackie is
currently wielding a gun all cockily. Her lips are arrogantly pulled back and her eyes are narrowed
right at Tai, in an obvious but unstated challenge.

And, well. Shauna isn’t really granted the opportunity to let her mind linger on Jackie’s current
appearance, because then Jackie is nonchalantly pulling the trigger of the rifle. Jackie doesn’t
bother shifting her gaze back around to focus on steadying the barrel of the gun, or to monitor the
fucking quarter hovering at the end of it. She presses down on the rusty metal with her nail-polish-
covered fingers, waggling a suggestive eyebrow at Tai as she does so.

Click.

The muddy quarter stays on the barrel of the gun, while Jackie’s piercing eyes remain glued to
Tai’s absolutely flabbergasted face. And, nearly everyone instinctively mirrors the look that Tai is
currently making, eyes bulging out of their sockets and jaws dropping to the muddied floor of the
forest. Even Shauna can’t hide the sheer astonishment worming its way onto her pale features,
mouth drooping open of its own accord.

“So, was that any good?” Jackie cloyingly inquires, abruptly tearing her gaze away from Tai and
training her eyes on Coach Scott. He also looks utterly stunned, mouth briefly opening before
quickly screwing shut. Then, Jackie is shrugging her shoulders up all casually, before peering past
Coach Scott and right at Natalie. And, of course, Natalie tosses her a thumbs up and grins all
sweetly at her. The gesture makes Shauna’s heart thump unbearably quickly, pushing her lips to
instinctively twist into a scowl. “Yes? No? Maybe-so?”
“I— yeah. Jackie… that was great. You’re our only contender for the second round of training, as
of right now,” Coach Scott finally manages to spit out, shaking his head in disbelief. Jackie’s eyes
dart away from Natalie and back to Coach Scott, prompting Shauna to let out a quick sigh of relief.
“Alright… uh. Martinez, you’re up next. Big act to follow.”

Travis sneers, strolling right up to Jackie without much hesitation. He wordlessly gestures for the
gun, which Jackie unceremoniously pushes right into his hands. Then, Jackie is sauntering toward
the crowded porch, shooting Tai a shit-eating grin as she climbs right over her. She flops down
next to Shauna, right before nudging Shauna’s shoulder with a huge smile on her face. And,
Shauna’s mouth must still be hanging open, because then Jackie is giggling all sweetly and
merrily.

“Jesus, don’t look so surprised,” Jackie mumbles, eyes quickly dashing between the faces of the
rest of the girls. None of them are currently paying Shauna or Jackie any mind, opting to focus on
Travis’ attempt with the gun, instead. And, Jackie must take that as some kind of sign to do
whatever it is that she wants, because she is then quickly leaning in to whisper right into Shauna’s
ear. “You of all people should know how good I am with my fingers, baby.” Jesus Christ.

Then, Jackie pulls back just as quickly, suggestively raising an eyebrow in Shauna’s direction.
And, of course, that gesture and those words have Shauna’s entire face heating up. She can
legitimately feel her cheeks scorching up, contorting into a deep shade of tomato red. But, Jackie’s
words also send Shauna’s brain twisting and turning, forcing the gears in her skull to screech up
against each other. Like, Shauna finds it somewhat odd, that Jackie— who has wanted to hide this
thing between them, since like, forever— is suddenly brave enough to say something incredibly
suggestive, with their teammates surrounding them. And, sure. She whispered it right into
Shauna’s ear, employing a voice so incredibly low that Shauna herself had to strain her ears to hear
it. But, although Shauna knows that the chances of any of her teammates clocking Jackie’s words
are slim to none, Jackie’s sudden boldness still surprises her.

“I— uh,” Shauna stammers, voice entirely gone to breath. Jackie grins at her in response, biting
down harshly at her lip. With the way her brain is currently all fogged up, Shauna is unable to
formulate an equally flirty phrase to throw back in Jackie’s direction. So, Shauna opts to switch
gears, just to save herself from continuing to incoherently and clumsily ramble. “How did you—
how did you do that? With the… the gun.”

“My dad used to force me to go hunting with him when I was like… super little,” Jackie laments,
around a sigh. “I used to tell him all the fucking time that I wasn’t really in the mood to shoot baby
bunnies, but he just… never got the memo,” she adds, rolling her eyes and scoffing. Of course,
registered Republican and Reagan-fanatic Michael Taylor used to make Jackie fire guns with him,
just for some good ole’ American fun. “Plus, he used to always like… bitch to my mom about not
having a son. Guess he decided that I could be a mediocre stand-in, like… when he needed me to
be.”

Although Shauna’s obviously known Jackie for years, it always astounds her whenever Jackie talks
so casually about all of the fucked up shit her horrific parents have done to her. The Taylors have
always been so ridiculously overbearing towards Jackie— controlling practically every aspect of
her life— in order to protect their picture-perfect image as Wiskayok’s resident nuclear family. It’s
kind of ridiculous that they’ve managed to keep the charade going for this long, especially since
the Taylors are literally downright cruel to their sole child, behind closed doors.

Like, every single time Shauna’s hung out at Jackie’s mausoleum-like house, Susan Taylor has
made at least a dozen off-handed remarks towards her only daughter. Shauna has overheard Mrs.
Taylor commenting on Jackie’s weight, on Jackie’s skin, on Jackie’s grades, on Jackie’s
relationship status with Jeff— more times than she can fucking count. Her bitchiness and
ruthlessness towards Jackie have always infuriated Shauna so fucking much, especially since
Jackie has never even attempted to fight back. Jackie would always shut her mouth and obediently
accept all of the criticism, pliantly allowing her mother to shove a series of ludicrous complaints
right down her skinny throat.

And, right as Shauna is about to let a series of insults aimed at Mr. and Mrs. Taylor’s parenting
skills spew out of her own throat, a roar of reluctant applause cuts her off. She abruptly tears her
gaze away from Jackie and glances at Travis, watching as he passes the gun off to Natalie. He’s got
this cheeky smile on his face— it’s somewhat reminiscent of Jackie’s, albeit less attractive—
which just stirs Shauna to assume that he managed to keep the quarter steady, too.

Coach Scott quickly proves her theory right, shooting Travis a tight-lipped smile, right before
opening his mouth. “Alright. Nice work, Martinez. Guess we saved the best for last…” Coach
Scott murmurs, as he turns his attention to Natalie. “Nat, you’re up. Let’s see if we can make it
three for three.”

For the first time in days, Shauna doesn’t feel a sharp pang of sizzling hot resentment course
throughout her bloodstream, at the mere sight of Natalie. It’s probably because Natalie suddenly
looks so small, her chronically cool demeanor replaced by an unexpected wave of timidness. Like,
even from her somewhat distant spot on the porch, Shauna swears she can see Natalie’s hand
trembling against the gun’s tarnished body. She looks absolutely petrified, already pale skin
twisting into a ghostly shade of white, as she attempts to steady the rifle. It looks incredibly
awkward and cumbersome in her grasp, almost like just holding the firearm is too much for her to
bear.

“You’ve got this, Nat!” Jackie cheerily proclaims, waves of enthusiasm pouring right off of her.
She’s got her patented Team Captain smile on, her toothy grin both reassuring and blinding at the
exact same time. The sight automatically makes Shauna’s heart swoon a little bit, but the fact that
it’s aimed right at Natalie also makes her stomach tangle up, forming a messy web of fear and
resentment.

It’s not like Natalie’s had the opportunity to tell Jackie the truth yet, but Shauna knows that she
can’t hide Jackie away from Natalie forever. Like, if Natalie is able to keep that wretched quarter
balanced, she knows that Jackie and Natalie will probably end up spending a lot of time together.
Sure, Travis would also be a member of their unlikely little hunting trio, but Shauna’s not fucking
stupid. Travis would end up being the third wheel in their conversations, which would allow
Natalie to privately pour all of the information that she has on Shauna and Jeff, right into Jackie’s
innocent ears.

The mere concept of that occurring has Shauna’s heart thumping erratically within her temples, a
searing headache working its way across her skull. So, as Natalie sucks in a deep breath and
mentally prepares to pull the trigger of the rifle, Shauna says a silent prayer that the fucking
quarter will plunge right to the forest floor.

“Come on… nice and easy,” Travis dryly states, looming right next to Natalie. Shauna knows it’s
sick of her— like, downright bitchy and astronomically fucked up— but she really hopes that
Travis’ jackassery manages to demolish Natalie’s focus. “Just like the man said.”

Natalie’s entire body deflates and sags a bit, as she lets out all of the air trapped within her lungs.
Then, Shauna is involuntarily sucking in and holding her own breath, while she watches Natalie
tentatively graze the trigger with shaking digits. Shauna’s eyes are practically glued to the peeling
black nail polish on Natalie’s fingers, her head pounding as she waits for Natalie to pull the trigger
and put her out of her misery.

Click.

Shauna immediately deflates, involuntarily letting out a deep sigh of relief— before she can even
attempt to bite it back. Thankfully, nobody is able to hear Shauna’s resoundingly loud sigh, over
the wave of reassurances that begin to stream out of the rest of the Yellowjackets’ mouths. But,
Natalie appears to completely disregard everybody’s attempts to assuage her, frantically shoving
the gun into Coach Scott’s awaiting hand. She does it so unceremoniously— so forcibly, so
quickly— that it’s almost like she can’t wait to get that rifle out of her hands. It’s like that warped
metal just burnt a pair of gaping holes into her flesh, leaving her skin to uncomfortably blister and
dully sting.

“That’s a shame,” Travis says, clicking his tongue all condescendingly. “Now… you know what?
Next time, we can just stick to something that you’re actually good at,” he snarkily adds, right as
Nat begins to numbly shuffle toward the porch. “You know, like... folding laundry. Or sucking
dick.”

Natalie freezes mid-step, right before abruptly spinning around and stomping back towards Coach
Scott. “I’m going again,” Natalie firmly proclaims, snatching the gun out of Coach Scott’s grip
without any preamble. She’s getting into her shooting stance all over again, practically dripping
with confidence and determination. Her fingers are steady instead of shaky against the trigger this
time, which makes Shauna’s stomach clench. Oh no.

“Can she do that?” Shauna instinctively blurts out, earning a hard shoulder nudge from Jackie.
Shauna’s eyes immediately swivel away from the scowl that Natalie is now aiming at her, darting
right towards the disappointed frown playing at the corners of Jackie’s lips. “It’s just…” Shauna
weakly says, as Jackie squints at her in silent reprimand. “Is that like, fair?”

“Yeah. I’ll allow it,” Coach Scott declares, a knowing smile playing at the corners of his lips.
Shauna shakes her head at him in sheer disbelief, a surge of anxiety pooling in the pit of her
stomach. “Let’s see it, Natalie.”

Of course, Natalie then lets out this raspy scoff in Shauna’s direction, darkened eyes flitting
between her and Jackie. She tosses Shauna a nonchalant wink, before whipping her head back
around. The off-handed gesture has Shauna clenching her jaw in irritation and unadulterated fear,
teeth grittily colliding against each other. And, Shauna catches Jackie’s eyes covertly lingering on
her, out of her own periphery. She keeps sparing sidelong glances in Shauna’s direction, hazel eyes
filled with a lethal mixture of unease and curiosity.

But then, Natalie’s narrowing her eyebrows and confidently pushing her fingers down onto the
trigger, immediately stealing both Jackie and Shauna’s undivided attention. And, Shauna swears
she can feel her heart pause mid-beat, even as she clasps her hands together and quietly begs for
that quarter to tumble into the soil again.

Click.

The quarter stays on the barrel of the gun, so Shauna’s stomach automatically sinks to the leaf-
covered forest floor, in its place. And, Shauna swears her brain must be short-circuiting, with the
way her body remains absolutely frozen on the splintering porch. She registers Jackie bolting
upright beside her, watching with horrified and slightly foggy eyes as she practically sprints toward
Natalie.

The rest of the Yellowjackets also slowly stand, clapping wildly and opening their mouths all
excitedly. But like, although Shauna can see everybody’s mouths moving, she can’t hear a single
fucking word coming out of any of them. All Shauna can hear is this intense ringing noise,
reverberating painfully, throughout her ear canals. Then Shauna’s hazy eyes are finally re-focusing
on the image in front of her, allowing her to watch Natalie and Jackie high-five in perfect clarity.
Her stomach instinctively lurches at the sight, though the dull pain shooting through Shauna’s
abdomen only worsens once Jackie decides to pull Natalie into a hug.

Bile burns a hot trail up Shauna’s throat, rendering her practically speechless. But, with the way her
jaw is currently hanging wide open and her brain presently feels like it is combusting, Shauna
acknowledges that she wouldn’t even be able to assemble any coherent sentences. Her mind has
gone absolutely blank, but Shauna can still feel the makeshift threads holding the pieces of her
cracked heart together, beginning to slowly unravel.

Just then, Natalie decides to drill Shauna with the levelest look of all time, resting her chin on
Jackie’s shoulder. She quirks up an eyebrow at Shauna, right before tightening the arms she has
wrapped around Jackie’s abdomen. Then, Natalie’s lips are contorting into a tight sneer, serving
Shauna with a look that silently conveys the words: It’s over, Shipman.

Shauna covers her pale face with her hands, blinking back the tears slowly creeping their way onto
her brown irises.

Natalie and Jackie are going to be hunting partners, left to freely traverse the woods and candidly
speak to one another, for hours on end. Shauna’s not going to be able to monitor their
conversations, rendered physically unable to steer Jackie away from Natalie or shield Jackie’s ears
from hearing Natalie’s horrifying words. So, Natalie is undoubtedly going to tell Jackie the
unfiltered truth, probably within the next couple of hours.

And, with the way Natalie is currently glaring at her, Shauna quickly deduces that she definitely is
going to be the first victim of Natalie’s ferocious hunting skills.

“I’m totally fine with being a substitute, Coach Scott. Travis and Nat hit more cans than me. Plus
I’m really not like… foaming at the mouth to kill some cute forest animals. Especially if I don’t
actually have to.”

After several excruciatingly long hours— well, to Shauna, at least— Natalie, Jackie, and Travis
have completed the final round of Coach Scott’s absolutely torturous gun-training session. Coach
Scott had announced— prior to the beginning of the last round— that they would only need two
people hunting at a time, which would force the person who hit the least amount of cans to be an
alternate.

And, well. Much to Shauna’s— plus, presumably Tai’s— delight, Jackie only managed to drill two
of the corroded metal cans with bullets. Travis pierced four of the five empty food cans, sending
them clattering off of the fallen tree long that Misty had placed them on. Then, Natalie went last in
the rotation, knocking three of the five cans off of the log without much mental strain.

So, Jackie is automatically an alternate hunter, which means that Natalie won’t have free access to
Jackie for hours on end. It also means that Shauna can finally breathe a sigh of relief, silently
thanking Michael Taylor for only taking Jackie on a handful of his hunting excursions.

But, in sharp contrast to Shauna, Natalie looks incredibly pissed off by the outcome of the
competition. She glances in Shauna’s direction, absently jerking her head to the side and rolling her
blue eyes unabashedly. Shauna just lackadaisically shrugs her shoulders in response, waiting
(im)patiently for Jackie to finish talking to Coach Scott. Of course, right before Shauna can close
the short amount of distance between her and Jackie, Natalie is huffing and puffing her way over
toward Shauna.

“You’re so fucking lucky, Shipman,” Natalie chastises, wildly gesturing an arm at Jackie’s back.
Shauna is so thankful that Jackie is way too busy enthusiastically talking about God knows what
with Coach Scott, to witness this little spat she’s currently having with Natalie. “I swear if she hit
all of those stupid cans, you’re ass would be grass. Count your blessings, because—”

“How about you mind your own fucking business?” Shauna growls, the volume of her voice so low
that she knows only Natalie can hear it. “Like, let’s be honest here. Do you really think she’d ever
believe you over me?” Shauna spits, jerking her head side-to-side. “I’m her best fucking friend.
You’re just one of her teammates… one of her least favorite ones, actually. She’s complained
about you, more times than I can even—”

Natalie cuts her off with a husky snort, licking her lips and crossing her arms over her chest. “Guess
that means I have less to lose than you do, Shipman. If I tell her and she doesn’t believe me… who
cares?” Natalie hisses, advancing closer to Shauna. And, of course, Shauna instinctively takes a
precarious step backward. She desperately tries to put some sort of distance between herself and
Natalie’s enraged face, to absolutely no avail. Natalie just follows Shauna’s lead, taking another
step forward, with her eyebrows narrowed and lips creased in a tight scowl. “But, if I tell her and
she does believe me…” Natalie trails off, shaking her head in mock-disappointment. “Then you
lose your best friend, and everybody here’s respect. Not that you even fucking deserved it in the
first place...”

“Why do you care so much, huh?” Shauna practically cries, vision turning blurry. She can feel the
tears beginning to twirl at the corners of her eyelids, but she blinks them away as fast as humanly
possible. “You don’t even like Jackie. You’ve never liked Jackie. Now all of a sudden, you guys
are all buddy-buddy? Please just… just stay out of—”

“You have two weeks,” Natalie stoically states, prompting Shauna’s entire body to go absolutely
rigid. “And, if you don’t tell her yourself, within the next two weeks…” Natalie pauses, leaning
her forehead up against Shauna’s. But, Shauna is suddenly so light-headed that she can hardly even
react to the discomfiting gesture, compelling her to just stare blankly into Natalie’s fiery eyes.
“Then I’m telling her about what I saw, the night after Mari’s party,” Natalie whispers against
Shauna’s lips, before lashing her forehead away from Shauna’s.“Got it?”

Shauna robotically nods her head, scorching hot blood rushing right into her skull. Although she
feels so fucking dizzy that she thinks she might legitimately pass out, Shauna still tries to open her
mouth, straining to wedge in a scathing reply.

But, of course, that’s when Shauna feels a familiar pair of bony arms loosely wrap themselves
around her shoulders. The gesture is so unexpected, catching Shauna so completely off-guard, that
her entire body twitches in a mixture of fear and surprise. Natalie, on the other hand, seems to find
the worry seeping into Shauna’s skin amusing as all hell. She’s biting down harshly on her lip,
resisting the sickly smile fighting to appear on her mouth, right as Jackie unwinds herself from
Shauna.

“Hey, what are you two dummies talking about?” Jackie inquires, shifting to stand between the
two of them. Her eyes eagerly flit between Natalie and Shauna, while a genuine smile creeps onto
her face. It’s clear that Jackie has egregiously misread the vibe of her and Natalie’s conversation,
to an almost embarrassing degree.

Shauna quickly opens her mouth to speak, desperately trying to get a word in, before Natalie can.
But, Natalie beats Shauna to the punch, cockily unfurling her stupid lips and spewing out a bunch
of smug bullshit. “Nothing important… don’t worry,” Natalie cloyingly says, sticking a fake smile
onto her face. “I was just telling Shipman how excited I am about catching all of us some dinner,
that’s all…” Natalie trails off, eyes darting away from Jackie and back to Shauna. “Right,
Shauna?”

“I—” Shauna sputters, catching the look of concern now prevalent within Jackie’s hazel eyes. It’s
enough to make Shauna roughly swallow down the lump in her throat, before propelling her to
plaster an artificial grin onto her own face. “Yeah, we were just uh… talking about hunting,”
Shauna robotically says, eyeing Natalie disdainfully.

“And, I’m gonna go ahead and do that, right now,” Natalie murmurs, throwing up a peace sign at
Jackie. “See ya, 'Cap…” Natalie cheerily says, backpedaling towards the tree log— where Travis is
currently brooding. “You too… Shipman. Don’t forget what I said.”

Shauna jerks her head up and down with a scowl, right as Natalie twists around. She confidently
marches over to Travis, clearly ignoring the daggers Shauna is shooting right at her back. And,
Jackie must not clock the biting nature of Shauna’s gaze either, because then she’s suddenly
giggling like a fucking schoolgirl.

“I am so happy you guys are finally getting along,” Jackie giddily announces, snapping Shauna out
of her anger-induced haze. Her mind is still a bit foggy, brain cells absolutely clobbered by
Natalie’s scathing words. So, instead of verbally responding to Jackie, she just smiles at her and
sheepishly bobs her head. “And… Akilah had this like, totally amazing idea. We’re all gonna go
look for berries to eat, while Travis and Nat are off hunting. Well, like, all us girls are. I don’t
know what Coach Scott or Javi are up to…” Jackie trails off, twisting a wayward strand of hair
around her finger. “So, I was wondering if you wanted to come with us? It’s an open invitation,
obviously.”

And, well. As much as Shauna absolutely adores spending time with Jackie, Shauna isn’t quite
sure she can physically handle being around her right now. Natalie’s ultimatum has Shauna’s
stomach flipping like a goddamn acrobat, somersaulting and cartwheeling like there’s no
tomorrow. Her head also feels incredibly fuzzy, preventing any real thoughts from formulating
within her brain. It’s like the only thought lingering in Shauna’s mind is the fact that she’s
basically become a ticking time-bomb, masterfully engineered by Natalie Scatorrcio. She is going
to detonate within the next two weeks, leaving a ludicrous amount of wreckage in her wake. And,
of course, innocent bystander Jackie is going to be the one that sustains the most damage.

“I think I’m gonna… go take a nap,” Shauna exclaims, rubbing at her temples. Images of Jackie
crying over the Jeff revelation begin to play on a never-ending loop in Shauna’s mind, each one
puncturing her heart— similar to the way in which the rifle’s corroded bullets just pierced holes
into all those cans. “I have a really bad headache, probably from all those stupid gunshots,” Shauna
expertly lies, almost like she’s been doing it for months. Which, of course, Shauna fucking has
been.

“Oh, ok. I’m sorry your head hurts… sweetie,” Jackie murmurs, sympathetically pouting at
Shauna. “I’ll see you later, though ok? And, like. Maybe you’ll feel better after your nap, and we
can…” Jackie trails off, dropping her voice an octave and suggestively raising an eyebrow. “Hang
out? Just the two of us… y’know.”

“Yeah. I uh… that sounds good, Jax,” Shauna says, with a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes.
“And I hope you guys find some berries.”

“Trust me, so do I. If Natalie and Travis don’t catch something tonight, they’ll make a good
backup meal,” Jackie states with a tight nod, before slowly backing away. “Bye, Shipman. I’ll be
seein’ ya,” Jackie shouts, continuing to backpedal further from Shauna. She’s shuffling toward the
rest of the Yellowjackets, huddled together, a few feet away from where Jackie and Shauna have
been conversing. So, probably because they’re still in earshot, Jackie keeps her back turned toward
the rest of the girls and opts to silently mouth the words ‘I love you’ to Shauna.

And, with the guilt seeping into her pores, Shauna refuses to allow herself to get agitated by
Jackie’s refusal to publicize their relationship. Thus, Shauna smiles widely in response, before
cupping her hands over her lips and silently mouthing them right back.

Then, Jackie is beaming right at Shauna, before twisting around and skipping the rest of the way
over to their teammates. Shauna watches as they all slowly disappear behind the curtain of green
leaves surrounding them, matching the cute little wave that Jackie throws her way, right before she
trails after Tai.

Shauna decides to relish in all of the little moments while she still can, knowing that there is an
unrelenting clock slowly ticking down the minutes and hours, right inside of her heart. She’s going
to savor the feeling of being with Jackie for the next two weeks, before intentionally allowing the
both of them to completely implode. Shauna is going to absolutely demolish Jackie’s heart, right
after spending two long weeks feeding it with unadulterated affection.

She is going to commit every single moment she spends with Jackie to her memory— the good
moments, the bad moments, the waking moments, the resting moments— because Shauna knows
that, after the Jeff revelation, Jackie will never grant her another one.

Shauna isn’t quite sure how long she dozes off for, drifting in and out of fitful sleep, on one of the
cabin’s stiff couches. It’s been an absolute struggle for her to fully fall asleep, due to a lethal
combination of reasons. Shauna’s so fucking hungry, which stirs her stomach to lurch and grumble
every five fucking seconds. She’s also kind of dehydrated, her throat uncomfortably tacky and dry.
And, of course, Shauna can’t shut off her stupid brain. All Shauna can think about— like, all
Shauna can have literal nightmares about— is Natalie’s horrific ultimatum. Like, every time
Shauna manages to close her eyes, snapshots of Jackie passionately screaming and hysterically
crying linger behind her eyelids.

It’s a terrible image to envision— Jackie, with hot tears cascading down her cheeks— especially
since Shauna knows it will warp into reality, in approximately fourteen painful days. Like, Shauna
wants— no, needs— to be the one to tell Jackie the truth, rather than Natalie. But, Shauna isn’t
quite mentally prepared to deliver an insurmountable amount of heartbreak, to the girl she’s loved
for nearly a decade. Shauna knows it’s all her fault— knows she cursed them, before they even
really began— which just hurts, even more.

Like, maybe Shauna has always been a ticking time-bomb, patiently waiting for somebody brave
enough to press the detonator. Perhaps Shauna’s always been inclined to self-implode, but just
recently decided to forcibly drag Jackie down with her.

Thankfully, Shauna isn’t allowed to ruminate over her self-sabotaging tendencies for very long, as a
loud thunk abruptly rings from outside. It captures her full attention, quickly spurring her to
clamber right off of the dusty couch she’s been laying on for the past few hours. Then, Shauna is
rushing toward the front door and slowly inching it open, just in case the noise’s creator is some
kind of agitated bear or a vicious wolf.

But, nope. She finds Jackie— as well as like, all of the other girls— separating all of the edible
berries they collected on their little excursion into different piles. And, with the way all of their
backs are currently turned to her, it’s apparent that none of them notice Shauna lingering in the
doorway. Well, that is until Jackie says something that prompts Shauna’s blood pressure to
skyrocket, causing it to shoot through the air like a missile.

“So like, for the record…” Jackie casually murmurs to Van, seated to the left of her. “We’re even
now? Right?”

Shauna’s stomach sinks in abhorrent dread, as her eyes begin to instinctively blink rapidly at the
back of Jackie’s head. What the fuck?

“I uh… yeah. Jackie…” Van trails off, patting her shoulder, lightly. “Pushing me out of the way of
a moving plane propeller— and nearly getting gutted instead— kind of makes us even, I think.”

“You— you did what? What the fuck, Jackie?” Shauna practically wails, her voice coming out so
incredibly shrill that it perforates her own eardrums. It also instantaneously grabs the attention of
literally everybody on the porch, prompting all of the Yellowjackets to hesitantly spin around.
Jackie is the last hold-out, visibly wincing and cursing to herself, as soon as she rotates around and
meets Shauna’s bulging eyes. “What…” Shauna trails off, sucking in a few ragged breaths. She can
feel herself teetering dangerously close to the edge of a full-on mental breakdown, a sensation only
exacerbated by the guilty look on Jackie’s face. “What fucking plane?"

“Well, we—” Laura Lee confidently starts, before abruptly halting. Shauna quickly thrusts a finger
in her direction, silencing her in mere seconds.

“Show me…. this fucking… plane,” Shauna frantically whisper-screams, in between gravelly
breaths. At this point, Shauna swears she might be hyperventilating, over the mere concept of
Jackie getting shredded up by a fucking plane propeller. And, of course, Jackie just continues to
stare at her like a deer-in-headlights. She keeps letting her mouth droop open, before abruptly
screwing it shut. The rest of the girls also match her demeanor, glancing uneasily between each
other, before looking down at the splintering porch. “Jackie,” Shauna practically wheezes, her
vocal cords painfully straining within her throat. “Get up. Get the fuck up, and show me this
fucking plane.”

“Shauna…” Jackie placatingly starts, tentatively leaning forward. She sits up a bit, reaching for
Shauna’s hand. But, Shauna immediately wrings her hand away from her reach, prompting Jackie
to slump back down all dejectedly. “I don’t really think it’s a good idea for you to see the—”

Before Shauna can even register that she is doing it, she is leaning down and looping her fingers
around Jackie’s bony wrist. She’s then pulling Jackie upright, actively ignoring all of her
incoherent complaints and the way she’s currently trying to jerk her wrist out of Shauna’s grip.

Then, Shauna is hauling Jackie right off of the porch, ignoring the slew of mumbles and murmurs,
coming from the direction of the berry-organizing peanut gallery. She tugs Jackie behind her as she
trucks into the woods, disregarding legitimately all of the desperate pleas that fly out of her throat.

“Shauna,” Jackie practically begs, batting leaf after leaf away from her face— with her free hand.
“I don’t think this is a good idea. Let’s just— let’s just go back to the cabin. Baby, I’m sorry for
—”

“No,” Shauna firmly states, abruptly pausing mid-step. Then, Shauna is rounding on Jackie, using
her empty hand to rub one of her pulsating temples. “You are going to show me this fucking plane
that almost killed you, Jackie. Which fucking way is it?”

And, Jackie must detect the sheer determination etched onto Shauna’s sullen features, because she
is then hesitantly pointing toward a clearing to their left. Of course, Shauna is then pulling a rather
reluctant Jackie right into that clearing in seconds, before abruptly freezing.

Shauna instantly drops Jackie’s wrist, fisting both of her hands into her hair, as she comes face to
face with the infamous plane.

It’s a weathered white color, covered in an assortment of dirt stains and mud. There's a faded blue
stripe covering its body, embossed by a thinner red stripe. The entire plane is wrapped in a thick
tangle of vines, encasing its hull and its landing gear in a green and brown web. But, of course,
Shauna’s suddenly glassy eyes remain fixated on the plane’s propeller. Its rusted-over propeller,
caked with years of weathering and grime, that nearly tore Jackie into smithereens.

Shauna doesn’t even realize that she is currently full-on wailing, until Jackie places a tentative
hand on her shoulder. Then, Shauna is uncomfortably curling right around, shoving her tear-
streaked face right into the crook of Jackie’s neck. She sobs right into Jackie’s tan skin, the force of
her cries racking her body with wave after wave of intense shakes. Jackie kisses the crown of her
head, right before running one of her palms up and down Shauna’s spine. Her other hand briefly
cradles the back of Shauna’s skull, until she begins to slowly trail her fingers through Shauna’s
hair.

“Shhh. Shauna, everything is ok. I’m ok,” Jackie murmurs, kissing the top of Shauna’s head again.
Shauna just instinctively nuzzles her face deeper into Jackie’s neck, breathing Jackie in, between a
series of sniffles. Everything is not ok, a fact that Shauna knows a little too well. Jackie almost died
today, nearly falling victim to the rusty blades of a virtually geriatric aircraft. She almost died
today, while Shauna was busy stewing in her immense feelings of guilt. She almost died today,
while Shauna was searching for ways to rationalize her decision to intentionally crush Jackie’s
heart. Shauna should’ve been there— could’ve been there— if she wasn’t a selfish fucking idiot.

“No, it’s not,” Shauna frustratedly screeches, scorching hot tears cascading down her face. She
fists a hand into the front of Jackie’s stupid sweater vest, gripping it like an anchor, as she
continues to bawl. “It’s not Jackie, it’s not. I should’ve been there, earlier. I almost let you fucking
die. Everything is not ok, everything is fucked up. I’m fucked up, Jackie. You don’t even know how
fucking awful I—”

“I love you, Shauna. You aren’t fucked up… you’re so perfect to me,” Jackie murmurs, prompting
Shauna to stiffen. Shauna knows that she’s the worst person in the world, a title that she’s now
prepared to accept. Jackie deserves better than Shauna, who has done nothing but covertly hurt her,
time and time again. She deserves to be with someone that doesn’t sleep with her boyfriend
whenever they get upset. She deserves to be with someone that doesn’t lie to her about the college
that they’re going to. “And, I promise you, everything is going to be ok.”

“No, it isn’t!” Shauna insists, thrashing her head against Jackie’s neck. She’s breaking down again,
verging on hysterical, as her words rush out of her mouth— all hoarse and scratchy. “I love you so
fucking much, Jackie. I don’t want to lose you— I’m gonna lose you forever, Jackie. I don’t want
you to hate me… but you should. I would hate me too, if I were you. I hate myself, every fucking
day. I fucked up, Jackie. I fucked everything up, so badly.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Shauna. Nothing is ever going to be able to take me away from you…
nothing,” Jackie vehemently states, sounding so confident that it’s absolutely jarring. She traces
shapes onto Shauna’s spine with her fingertips, burying her nose into the hair on top of Shauna's
head. “I could never hate you, Shauna. Ever. I love you so much, like… unconditionally. I don’t
care if you fuck up. I’m still going to love you… no matter what.”

Those words— as well as Jackie’s self-assured delivery of them— prompt Shauna to slowly pull
back. Jackie quickly begins to wipe all of the tears out of Shauna’s face, clearly fighting the urge to
 shed some tears of her own. “Do you promise?” Shauna asks, voice deepened by the amount of
mucus now straining her throat. Her heart is suddenly beating so quickly in her chest, that she is
legitimately fearful that it might find a way to fly right out of her body. “Jackie, do you promise?”
Shauna quickly asks again, verging on desperate. “You swear that you’ll love me, no matter what?
That you won’t hate me? That you promise not to—”

“Jesus… Shauna,” Jackie states, sounding absolutely stunned by Shauna’s lack of faith in her.
“Yes. I promise, like… to everything,” Jackie confidently says, sounding so sure that it makes
Shauna involuntarily whimper. Then, Jackie is unraveling her arms from around Shauna’s body,
right before cupping Shauna’s face between her hands. “I really fucking love you, Shauna. Nothing
is ever going to change that… I promise. And I’m sorry for scaring you today, ok? I’ll be extra
careful from now on, I swear,” Jackie firmly states, brushing her thumbs over the apples of
Shauna’s cheeks.

“It’s ok… I just. I just don’t want anything bad to happen to you,” Shauna shakily murmurs,
swallowing down the lump in her throat. Jackie nods her head in sympathy, gaze flitting to
Shauna’s lips, before darting back up to her eyes. Yet another instance of Jackie being a better
person than she is. When Jackie makes promises, she keeps them, unlike Shauna. “I love you too,
Jackie.”

Jackie tilts her head, smiling at Shauna all misty-eyed. Shauna fights to match her grin, although
the smile she manages to screw on strains her cheeks and probably looks a bit bizarre. But, Jackie
doesn’t seem to care, in any shape or form. She slowly leans in and kisses Shauna tenderly,
ignoring the salty tears and sticky snot currently coating her face.

And, as Jackie deepens the kiss even more, Shauna lets out a sigh of relief against her lips. Like,
maybe Shauna doesn’t have to worry about losing Jackie, after all. Maybe Jackie could love her,
even after finding out about the Jeff thing. Maybe they aren’t already completely doomed, with a
dreadful fate already pre-written, in the stars above.

Either way, Shauna is still going to commit every second of this moment, to her memory. Just as a
safety precaution, though.

Chapter End Notes

this took way longer than expected i am so so sorry yalllll its been a mf week thus far.
if this chap is bad i am so sorry have mercy LMAO.

also yeah i made jackie good with a gun, sorry to the actual YJ writers for thinking ella
purnells hot and taking advantage of it.

coming up next: shauna manages to get jackie to discuss their relationship status,
shauna starts thinking something is going on her with body, and tai finds the dead guy
in the attic.
 the first cut is the deepest
Chapter Summary

“Jax, what are we?” Shauna blurts out, words ungracefully tumbling over each other—
like dominos. And, just like all of the other times Shauna’s asked her a question
similar to that one, Jackie is goggling at her with doe-eyes. “I’m serious. You said you
wanted us to be together, but we haven't talked about what that actually means. So, we
need to talk about this. Like, logistics, or whatever.”

Jackie frowns, confusion creased on her tan forehead. “I— what?” Jackie awkwardly
states, nervously laughing under her breath. Shauna deeply sighs, shifting onto her
shoulder, in order to face Jackie head-on. And, Jackie’s head automatically slides right
off of Shauna’s shoulder and lands on the blanket, leaving Jackie completely
defenseless as Shauna searches her eyes. “What are you— what do you mean,
Shauna?”

Or: Things get steamy, resulting in Shauna and Jackie finally defining their
relationship. Elsewhere, tensions begin to rise between Tai and Lottie.

Chapter Notes

this is rlly smutty but also kinda fluffy? so if ur not into that i am sorry. next chapter is
an angst-filled, drama-filled mf mess so i thought shauna deserved a break I'm sorry
yall

See the end of the chapter for more notes

June 18th, 1996

Although a seemingly never-ending supply of sunsets and sunrises have come and gone since the
formation of Natalie and Travis’ unlikely hunting duo, not a single animal has fallen prey to their
lackluster shooting skills. It’s starting to get a bit ridiculous— like, it’s honestly verging on
unbearably aggravating— how unproductive the two of them have been, in the food-catching
department. And, well. Shauna’s not like, completely blind or utterly clueless. She’s born witness
to a handful of interactions between Travis and Natalie thus far, recognizing these weird
undertones of fervent resentment and well-established hatred, within each of their awkward
exchanges.

Their aversions to one another are painfully transparent to legitimately everybody, especially with
the way in which the two of them consistently scream at each other openly and frivolously, within
the cabin’s living room. Like, at this point, Shauna swears that Travis and Nat are like an old
married couple. It’s like they’re two middle-aged adults, arguing over kids and life expenses,
instead of two teenagers who met less than two weeks ago.

And, yeah. Shauna— with her Ivy League-level contextualization skills— thinks that there is an
inherent link between the group’s lack of food and their hunters’ inability to get along. She can
literally picture Travis and Natalie bumbling through the trees like idiots, yelling at each other so
fucking loudly that their deafening voices ward off all forms of wildlife. There’s no deer meat on
the table, because Natalie is too fucking arrogant to just shut her mouth. Jackie has been going back
to the clearing where that stupid plane is— has been tirelessly collecting and separating berries to
eat— all because Natalie is a wise-ass to Travis. Shauna’s empty stomach is clenching around
itself, guilt gorging away at the bits of berries she’s fed it, while Natalie carelessly prances around
the woods. Shauna is left to starve to death and stew in her guilt, all because of Natalie Scatorrcio’s
unmistakable sociopathic tendencies.

So, Shauna is currently at Natalie fucking Scatorrcio’s complete mercy, which is quite honestly the
worst feeling in the world. She has total authority over the goddamn hunting rifle, making her the
Yellowjackets’ only potential source for satiating meals. And, of course, Natalie also wields the
detonator to the catastrophic truth bomb. Her grimy little pointer finger inches closer and closer to
jabbing that red button, each time the sun sinks. It’s inevitable for Jackie to uncover the truth about
Shauna and Jeff, just like it’s inevitable for the group to starve until Natalie and Travis kill
something. But, even though Shauna acknowledges that Jackie finding out is completely
unavoidable at this point, it really doesn’t make the predicament any less heartbreaking.

And, Shauna knows that she only has a week to tell Jackie the truth, on her own terms. Shauna’s
literally been counting down the days until absolute disaster in her journal, similar to how a giddy
little kid might study their calendar and keep track of all the wintery days till Santa’s big arrival.
Like, Shauna has been painstakingly jotting down the details of every moment she’s spent with
Jackie during the past week, in her weathered journal. It’s the only thing Shauna can do, to keep
herself from imploding. Well, it’s the only thing Shauna can do to keep herself from imploding,
before she legitimately has to.

Fuck Natalie Scatorrcio, with her chronically cool attitude. Fuck Natalie Scatorrcio, with her
control over the stupid gun. Fuck Natalie Scatorrcio, for prioritizing fighting with Travis, over
feeding the team. Fuck Natalie Scatorrcio, for deciding to smoke a joint at the Inlet, right after
Mari’s party. Fuck Natalie Scatorrcio, for being nosy and catching Shauna in the act. Fuck Natalie
Scatorrcio, with her vicious talons, that she currently has Shauna and Jackie’s relationship trapped
in.

“Mmmm,” Jackie suddenly hums, cutting Shauna out of her irate haze. Then, Jackie is wrapping
her arms around Shauna’s middle from behind, right before dropping her head onto Shauna’s
shoulder. She huffs out this put-upon sigh, sharp chin digging uncomfortably into Shauna’s flesh,
as she tilts her head down. “Whatcha writing?” Jackie practically whispers, right into Shauna’s ear.
She places a quick kiss to the side of Shauna’s head, before squinting at the journal perched in
between Shauna’s crisscrossed legs.

Her words prompt Shauna to shiver all over, whilst also encouraging her to swiftly slam her journal
closed. “Nothing much…” Shauna abruptly states, angling her head to the side. She quickly meets
Jackie’s gaze, automatically detecting the mischievous glint flickering within Jackie’s hazel irises.
Of course, Jackie is incredibly interested in the incoherent word vomit Shauna has spewed onto the
flimsy pages of her journal, apparently fascinated by the smatter of blue and black ink coating its
previously blank sheets. “Just… random stuff,” Shauna weakly finishes, voice coming out all
squeaky.

Like, if Jackie were to ever actually see some of the sentences that Shauna has inelegantly carved
into this leather-back notebook, the wreckage would be insurmountable. Sure, there are plenty of
romantic interludes about Jackie, scrawled in Shauna’s messy handwriting. But, Shauna has also
written a lot of fucked up shit within those pages— freely ridiculing Jackie, for a variety of
reasons. So, Shauna figures that her trusty journal might somehow be a bigger threat to her and
Jackie’s relationship, than Natalie’s random craving for justice.

“Uh-huh,” Jackie playfully admonishes, starting to place kisses along Shauna’s neck. “I bet it’s
like, super random… romantic stuff,” she adds, voice all breath. Shauna automatically tosses her
journal and pen to the wayside, leaving both items to stew in the patch of grass next to their
blanket. It’s the same one Shauna stole the last time they came here, to this little flowery clearing,
existing amid the iron curtain of dark trees. “I better be like… your moose, or something.”

Shauna can’t bite back the airy laugh that bubbles out of her throat, which spurs Jackie to remove
her lips from Shauna’s neck and unwind her arms from Shauna’s stomach. Then, before Shauna
can ask Jackie what’s wrong, Jackie is flicking the side of Shauna’s head in faux reprimand. “Ow!”
Shauna wheezes, in between chuckles. She twists around at an awkward angle, snatching Jackie’s
wrist and thwarting any more flick attacks. “It’s muse,” Shauna manages to say, though the gigantic
smile on her face makes it kind of difficult. “Muse, not moose, Jax.”

“Yeah, well…” Jackie murmurs, nudging the tip of her nose against Shauna’s. She instinctively
drops Jackie’s wrist, letting it limply fall to Jackie’s side. “You’re the AP English nerd…” Jackie
trails off, hot breath against Shauna’s lips. “Not me.”

There’s an equally teasing remark lingering on the tip of Shauna’s tongue, but Jackie’s lips are
quickly covering hers, effectively locking that comment right up. Then, Shauna somehow manages
to find a way to twist around without breaking the kiss, cupping one of Jackie’s cheeks with her
palm. Jackie briefly tugs on Shauna’s lip with her teeth, before letting it go and pulling away a bit.

“How long do you think we’ve got…” Jackie starts, nose still pressed against Shauna’s. She runs a
gentle hand through Shauna’s dark locks, smoothing her hair out, instead of pulling on it. “Until
Tai sends out a search party for us?”

“My guess? Two hours,” Shauna mumbles, right against Jackie’s lips. “She seemed pretty
distracted, fighting with Lottie. Plus, I told her we were checking the rabbit traps, so if anyone
comes looking for us…” Shauna trails off, as Jackie fists her other hand into the front of Shauna’s
shirt. “They won’t actually find us.”

“You are so crazy smart,” Jackie mumbles, right before reconnecting their lips together. Shauna
smiles into the kiss, then darts her tongue right into Jackie’s mouth. Somehow, it’s like all of
Shauna’s guilty feelings have disintegrated into dust, blowing away from her and into the cloudy
sky above. Jackie is kissing Shauna and touching Shauna so lovingly, prompting Shauna to feel like
all of her brain cells have suddenly been melted down into a congealed mass of goo. But then,
Jackie is slowly pulling away, forcing their lips to break apart with a wet smack. Jackie’s regularly
hazel eyes are currently wells of darkness, while her cheeks are flushed in a cotton candy shade of
pink. “Do you want to—”

“Yes,” Shauna hastily blurts out, cutting Jackie right off. Her cheeks instinctively heat up a little bit
in embarrassment, but then Jackie is quickly soothing her nerves. She lets out this slew of girlish
giggles, loosening her grip on Shauna’s shirt, right before tugging off her own striped t-shirt.
Jackie frivolously tosses it into the grass, right next to their discarded sneakers, then grabs Shauna
by the neck and slams their lips back together. Shauna tentatively runs her palms over the bare skin
on Jackie’s back, fingers freezing at the clasp of her lacy white bra. Like, Jackie hasn’t done that—
hasn’t been like, half-naked in front of Shauna— since the awkward baby incident, on Shauna’s
birthday. Ever since then, touching has strictly taken place beneath a thick layer of clothes or a thin
barrier of underwear. But, of course, Jackie is always somehow finding new ways to keep Shauna
on her toes.

She breaks away from Shauna’s mouth for just one second, which compels Shauna to mentally
prepare for some form of rejection. But, nope. “Off,” Jackie inelegantly spits out, before
immediately shoving her lips back onto Shauna’s. She groans against Jackie’s mouth— at the
word, at the ragged delivery, at the urgency of it— before doing exactly what she is told.

It isn’t necessarily in a refined or confident way— it’s more like, in a messy and frantic way— but
Shauna does manage to hastily unhook Jackie’s bra. She basically pulls down all frustratedly on
the metal clasp until it snaps open, which makes Jackie giggle right into Shauna’s mouth.

“Easy Shipman,” Jackie breathlessly says, failing to execute the faux-chastising tone she was
clearly aiming for. But, in regards to Jackie’s words, it’s hard for Shauna to take it easy. It’s
basically an impossible task, with the way it currently feels like somebody’s running a live wire
straight through her body. Shauna also can’t just take it easy, when she knows that this might be
one of the last times she ever gets to have Jackie like this. “There aren’t any Victoria's Secrets out
here. I’ve only got like, two extra bras if this one breaks.”

“Good news for me,” Shauna instinctively murmurs, earning a light swat on the shoulder. Jackie
clearly isn’t like, actually mad, though. She’s biting down harshly on her own lip and shaking her
head in mock-reprimand, before tugging her bra clean off her shoulders. Jackie launches it into the
grass so quickly and so nonchalantly, throwing Shauna into a tailspin. Like, Jackie is usually pretty
fucking shy when it comes to sex stuff, forcing Shauna to take the steering wheel during their
hookups. But, recently, it’s like Jackie is suddenly the one leading the charge. Shauna has no
problem with Jackie taking control— like, obviously Shauna likes that Jackie is feeling more
comfortable— but she still wants to check on her. “Hey,” Shauna murmurs, desperately fighting the
urge to look at Jackie’s chest instead of at Jackie’s eyes. She rubs a thumb over one of Jackie’s
blushing cheeks, their foreheads smushed together. “We can slow down if you—”

Jackie snatches a fistful of Shauna’s Wiskayok ringer-tee again, forcibly connecting their lips back
together. She slithers her tongue between Shauna’s lips, right before sinking backward and using
her grip on Shauna’s shirt to take her down with her. They collapse onto the worn-out blanket—
which, of course, they stole from Tai’s laundry supply— in a messy heap of teeth, lips, and limbs.
Shauna instinctively props herself up on one arm, allowing a sweaty palm to slide against the
blanket’s prickly fabric, just to stop herself from literally laying right on top of Jackie.

“I don't want to slow down,” Jackie pants, reaching for the hem of Shauna’s shirt. So, Shauna
quickly sits up a bit and slips her shirt right off, carelessly tossing it beside Jackie’s. She’s about to
lean back in and kiss Jackie senseless, until a dull spike of guilt suddenly writhes right near the
base of her pelvis. Shauna’s done a pretty bang-up job at side-lining all of her remorse so far, which
is why this sudden stabbing sensation in the pit of her stomach has her a bit confused. And, she
must visibly flinch or something, because then Jackie is looking up at her all worriedly. ”Do you
want to slow down?” Jackie tentatively asks, clearly misreading Shauna’s sudden shift in
demeanor. “Because, like— like it’s fine. We can… trust me. We can slow—”

Shauna practically lunges back down, roughly shoving her lips onto Jackie’s. She braces herself
back up on one hand, then cups one of Jackie’s breasts with the other. “I don’t want to slow down. I
love you, Jackie. So much,” Shauna mumbles, right against Jackie’s lips. Jackie lets out this little
hum in response, which instantaneously shifts into a moan, as soon as Shauna drags her thumb over
her nipple. “I love you,” Shauna repeats— mouth leaving Jackie’s lips, in order to suck on her neck.
Jackie gasps and fists one of her hands into Shauna’s hair, before rocking her pelvis up into
Shauna’s.

“I love you too,” Jackie shakily states, voice so breathy that the words come out like a gust of air.
Shauna’s lips trail lower, wreaking absolute havoc on Jackie’s slender collarbones, before kissing
down to her breasts. Jackie is panting so loudly— breath puffing out of her lungs all serrated and
sharp— leaving Shauna to believe that Jackie might like, need an inhaler, or something. And, as
soon as Shauna fully latches her lips around a nipple and sucks on it hard, Jackie is all but
wheezing for air. “Shauna,” Jackie gasps, tugging roughly at her dark locks. Shauna alternates her
lips between both breasts, sucking and nipping, while her free hand plays with the button on
Jackie’s jeans. “Please, just—”

“Just what?” Shauna asks, pausing and peering up at Jackie’s face. Her mouth is slightly parted, a
few pearly whites chomping down, right onto her chapped lower lip. Her hair is messy as all hell,
spread out behind her haphazardly, light brown waves rippling against the blanket’s flannel pattern.
Her eyes are still all foggy and dark, glimmering with desire. Shauna gulps at the sight, once again
shoving down all of those guilty feelings slithering throughout her body. Like, if she only has one
week left of this, she might as well get her complete fill of Jackie. “What do you want?” Shauna
rasps, eliciting a soft whimper to trickle out of Jackie’s throat. “Tell me what you want.”

“Just—” Jackie weakly starts, before breaking right off into a moan. Shauna’s sucking on her
breasts again, leaving Jackie to shudder and writhe beneath her. “Touch me,” Jackie finally
squeaks, rocking her hips up for emphasis. “Shauna, please,” Jackie whines, as Shauna
instinctively starts to slowly unbutton Jackie’s jeans. Shauna tugs down the little metal zipper,
ignoring the way her hands shake a bit, as she does so. “Just… touch me.”

“Yeah,” Shauna dazedly mutters, absent-mindedly trailing open-mouthed kisses down Jackie’s bare
stomach. Goosebumps arise on Jackie’s tan skin in their wake, prompting Shauna to descend even
lower. She hooks her fingers into the belt loops of Jackie’s unbuttoned jeans, slowly peeling the
fabric down her legs, as she sponges kisses right near her belly button. “Let’s— I want to try
something,” Shauna automatically says, lips incredibly loose. She tugs Jackie’s jeans the rest of the
way off, ignoring the little whine that Jackie lets out, once she’s left in just her panties.

“I— you— what?” Jackie sputters, as Shauna kisses her hipbone. She inches the fabric of Jackie’s
underwear down a bit, sucking a hickey right onto the skin of the slender bone. And, Shauna can’t
see her face right now, but she is almost positive that Jackie’s tan cheeks are warping into a dark
shade of red. “What are you—?”

Shauna really doesn’t know if it’s the lust clouding her brain, or if it's the insane amount of love
she has for Jackie, that unexpectedly emboldens her. She reasons that it could be a combination of
the two, but that stupid little voice in the back of her head is quickly reminding her that it’s neither
of those things. Like, Shauna knows why she is moving so ungracefully and frantically, kissing
Jackie like there’s no tomorrow.

And, that’s because there might not be a tomorrow, if Natalie wakes up in the morning and
randomly decides to retract her statement. Natalie could prematurely open her mouth at any given
moment, revealing the truth to Jackie, even before the two-week mark. There’s nothing stopping
her from doing it, except for the flimsy deal she unceremoniously tossed in Shauna’s direction.

Shauna’s running out of time with Jackie, creeping closer and closer to the truth explosion, every
minute and hour of the day. She’s crawling toward Natalie, valiantly fighting for control of the
detonator, to absolutely no avail. The bomb is going to drop, whether Shauna likes it or not. She
can’t do anything about it now, except relish in what she is undoubtedly going to lose, as soon as it
explodes.

She unlatches her lips from Jackie’s hip, shifting her head to rest right in between Jackie’s legs.
Shauna can literally hear Jackie shakily sucking in a breath, but chooses to focus all of her
attention on the way Jackie instinctively tightens her grip on her hair. Then, Shauna is peering back
into Jackie’s dark eyes, before pressing a light kiss to the front of Jackie’s underwear.
Jackie moans incredibly loudly, hips instinctively jerking right into Shauna’s mouth, even as
Shauna pulls her face back. “Shauna,” Jackie pants out, sitting up on her elbows a bit. Shauna’s
mouth continues to inadvertently graze against the wet fabric, provoking Jackie’s gaze to flicker
between Shauna’s eyes and Shauna’s lips. “You don’t— you don’t have to, baby. Just because…
just because I said a few days ago that I—”

“I want to,” Shauna confidently declares, tearing a ragged gasp out of Jackie’s scratchy throat.
Shauna quickly hooks her fingers into the waistband of Jackie’s panties, gazing up heatedly at her,
in order to silently ask for permission.

“Are you— are you sure?” Jackie asks, voice all breath. Shauna pointedly nods, then presses her
lips to the wet fabric of Jackie’s underwear, yet again. Jackie instinctively gasps, her eyes rolling
back in her skull a bit. “You don’t— you don’t think it’ll be… gross?” Jackie stammers, spurring a
quick head shake out of Shauna. But, of course, Jackie is fucking relentless and has about a million
questions. “But… but Jeff used to talk about it like it was gross—?”

It’s kind of fucking absurd— kind of unfortunate, kind of disgusting— that just hearing Jeff’s
stupid name spill out of Jackie’s mouth, instantly makes Shauna’s stomach drop. Hearing his name
makes Shauna burn all over, skin prickling and stinging worse than it does when she gets
sunburned. But, Shauna knows it isn’t Jackie’s fault. Jackie doesn't know she's pouring salt right
into a gaping wound on the surface of Shauna's heart, allowing Shauna’s guilt to continue to sting
and fester.

But, even though Jackie isn’t deliberately trying to hurt Shauna, it still does hurt all the same. And,
well. Bringing up Jeff is enough to make Shauna pissed and pained, beyond recognition.

“Ok? Well, last time I checked, my name isn’t Jeff fucking Sadecki,” Shauna snaps, empty stomach
clenching and churning. Jackie looks absolutely taken aback by Shauna’s sudden outburst, eyes
turning to saucers. “Like, if this is your way of trying to say you don’t want to fucking do it, then
just say you don’t want to do it,” Shauna rambles, rage and regret clawing at her heart. “I’m not
gonna be mad. Just be honest, Jackie.” And, well. That last statement makes Shauna internally
cringe, as soon as it exits her chronically lie-filled mouth.

“Shauna I— I want to,” Jackie quickly supplies, so fast that the words tumble over each other. Her
face is now beet red, while her tan chest is mottled with just a few traces of pink. “I want to,” she
says again, a little more firmly. And, well. Shauna is now sufficiently convinced, prompting her to
drop her head and focus all of her attention on slipping off Jackie’s panties. And, she has maybe
managed to slither the fabric down an inch, before Jackie is frantically tugging on the ends of her
hair. She instinctively pauses with a sigh, eyes cautiously darting up and meeting Jackie’s. “It’s
just… I’m like, worried. I’ve never done that, with like, anyone before. Not even Jeff. And I don’t
— I don’t want you to be grossed out,” Jackie incoherently rambles, voice pitching higher and
higher. “Like, what if you get so grossed out, that you stop liking me? I don’t want you to stop
liking me, or think that I’m uh… disgusting or—”

“Jax. That’s literally never gonna happen,” Shauna firmly cuts her off, kissing her inner thigh.
Jackie bites her lip and puffs out a sharp breath, while smoothing Shauna’s hair over. “Like, ever.”

“But, what if—”

“Nope.”

“Are you sure that—”

“Yes.”
Jackie dramatically sighs, jutting the palm of her free hand into her eye socket. “And you— you
promise?” Jackie sheepishly asks, eyes staring deeply into Shauna’s own. “Like, you swear this
isn’t going to fuck anything up? It isn’t gonna make things weird… or something?”

“I promise,” Shauna confidently states, eliciting a whimper from Jackie. “I love you, Jackie,”
Shauna adds, softly smiling up at her. “Nothing’s ever gonna change that. You do know that…
right?”

“I— I know,” Jackie stammers, running her hands through Shauna’s hair. “And I… I love you too,”
she adds, laying her head flat on the blanket. She combs through Shauna’s locks absent-mindedly,
before screwing her eyes completely closed. “I— I want to do it. I trust you.”

Those words cut through Shauna’s heart like a knife, prompting her to grimace. “Yeah—?” Shauna
absently murmurs, guilt boiling in her veins. Like, Shauna’s kind of glad that Jackie has her eyes
scrunched up right now, rendering her physically unable to see how pale Shauna’s face has gotten.
Jackie shouldn’t trust Shauna, but yet she does— blindly. “So you’re— you’re sure you want to?”

Jackie doesn’t verbally respond, opting to answer Shauna’s question by just jerkily bobbing her
head up and down. So, Shauna slowly tugs her panties down her legs, sucking on the expanse of
soft skin along Jackie’s thighs as she does so. As soon as the fabric has been torn off, Shauna gazes
up at Jackie, expecting to find some traces of discomfort etched onto her reddened face.

But, nope. Jackie has one of her tanned arms slung over her face, already panting against it like
she’s just run a bunch of suicides. Her erratic breathing encourages Shauna to continue on with her
ministrations, kissing back up her legs. She sucks on the delicate skin of Jackie’s inner thighs,
prompting Jackie to whimper and yank Shauna’s hair all impatiently. It sends a shock right into the
depths of her core, empty stomach now filled with sparkles and twinkles.

“You’re so beautiful, Jax,” Shauna murmurs, gripping roughly at Jackie’s bare thighs. Jackie
groans in response, toned legs trembling, as Shauna throws them over her shoulders. She still has
one of her slender arms obscuring her blushing face, so Shauna focuses on the erratic rise and fall
of her bare chest. Jackie is waiting with bated breath for Shauna to slide into home plate, chest
heaving and body shivering in anticipation. “I love you so much, baby.”

The whimper Jackie lets out in reply immediately twists into a resoundingly loud moan, right as
Shauna’s tongue swipes a torturously long stripe down her folds. And then, Jackie is quickly
pulling at Shauna’s hair so roughly that she might literally rip fistfuls of black waves out of
Shauna’s skull, before rocking her hips up against Shauna’s agile tongue.

“Shauna,” Jackie gasps, legs shaking on either side of Shauna’s face. Shauna nods against her
thigh, swirling and sucking around her entrance. She slips her tongue in every so often, peering up
at Jackie’s rosy chest. And, well. Shauna swears she’s never felt this light-headed— this faded, this
dizzy— in her entire life. Jackie is currently dominating legitimately all of her senses, scrambling
up her usually sharpened brain. “Oh my God… Shauna. What the fuck.”

Shauna clutches Jackie’s bony hips, chipped fingernails digging into taut and tan flesh. She holds
onto them for dear life, keeping Jackie’s body stable, as she haphazardly bucks and grinds herself
against Shauna’s tongue. Then, Shauna is dragging her tongue upwards, curling it around Jackie’s
clit.

The reaction is legitimately instantaneous, with Jackie letting out a series of ragged moans and
squeezing her thighs a bit tighter around Shauna’s head. “Just like that,” Jackie breathlessly begs,
sounding absolutely relieved. She sucks and licks with refined strokes, lustful instincts apparently
taking over. “Fuck, fuck…” Jackie mumbles, voice hoarse and wrecked. “I think— think I’m
gonna—”

Shauna automatically latches her mouth fully around her clit, sucking it harshly between her lips.
Then, Jackie is knocking her thigh all impatiently against Shauna’s ear, gasping desperately for air.
So, Shauna speeds up her movements, alternating between suckling on her clit and flicking it with
her tongue. Jackie, in turn, practically melts into the blanket. Her vocabulary is reduced to pitiful
whimpers and ragged moans, while her fitful hand finally tires and begins to pet Shauna’s hair
instead of pulling on it.

She continues on with her ministrations, waiting until she can tell that Jackie is teetering right on
the metaphorical edge. Then, as soon as Jackie’s spine begins to arch off the blanket and her mouth
slackens open in pleasure, Shauna abruptly tears her mouth away. She ignores Jackie’s desperate
pleas, pressing her lips against Jackie’s inner thighs, instead of where Jackie wants them to be. But,
Shauna wants— no, needs— Jackie to look at her, especially as she comes undone.

“Jackie,” Shauna hums, planting kisses right near the apex of her legs. Jackie just groans into the
arm she has covering her face in response, stroking Shauna’s hair with weak fingers. “Hey, baby.
Look at me,” Shauna whispers, prompting Jackie to hesitantly prop herself up on her lethargic
elbows. Jackie gnaws aggressively at her bottom lip, eyes drooping open and closed as Shauna
continues kissing the inside of her thighs. Then, Shauna freezes, peering back up at her. “I love
you.”

Jackie lets out this absolutely throat-shredding moan, right as Shauna puts her mouth back on her.
And, apparently, the sight of Shauna between her legs is just too much for her to bear. Shauna
barely even has to flick her tongue, before Jackie is clamping her thighs so tightly around Shauna’s
head, that her ears literally ring. “Shauna— Shauna— Shauna,” Jackie reedily gasps, staring into
Shauna’s eyes as she uncontrollably bucks her hips up. She holds Shauna’s head in place even as
she throws her own head back, laying it down on the blanket, as her entire body shakes against
Shauna’s lips. Then, Jackie lets out one final moan, before her entire body stiffens and her back
arches right off the flannel fabric.

Shauna slowly pulls away, leaning back to gaze up at Jackie’s closed eyes and listen to the sound
of her presently erratic breathing. She kisses her way back up Jackie’s goosebump-coated body,
even though each press of her lips against Jackie’s bare stomach causes Jackie to jerk and whimper
like she’s being zapped by an electrical wire.

She eventually trails her kisses all the way back up to Jackie’s neck, absently sucking on the
delicate and tanned skin there, until she feels Jackie’s fingers tugging on the golden chain around
Shauna's own neck. Shauna instantly pulls back, finding Jackie peering up at her, with blushing
cheeks and a sleepy smile on her face. The sight instantly pulls at Shauna’s heartstrings, while it
also simultaneously sends another wave of heat careening through her depths.

“How…” Jackie shakily murmurs, voice so hoarse that Shauna smiles a bit in victory. “How are
you so— so good at that?” Jackie asks, cheeks somehow contorting into a darker shade of red.
Shauna brushes away some of the errant strands of hair that Jackie has plastered to her sweaty face,
grinning so furiously that her cheeks ache. “Like, what the fuck, Shauna? Have you been like…”
Jackie trails off— breaking into this half-flustered, half-nervous laugh. “Have you been practicing
with like, other girls, or something?” Jackie seriously asks, although Shauna deduces that it was
supposed to come out all jokingly and light-heartedly. But, Jackie is worrying her lip between her
teeth again and peering up at Shauna all nervously, as her fingers twirl in the heart necklace’s
chain.

“Yeah,” Shauna deadpans, schooling Jackie with the levelest look she can muster. She purses her
lips to mask the dopey smile attempting to worm its way onto her face, dangerously assuming that
Jackie knows that she is joking. But, Jackie clearly thinks she is being truthful, if the way her eyes
dart painfully away from Shauna’s face is of any indication.

“Who,” Jackie asks, voice slightly watery. Jackie freezes, fingers unceremoniously slipping right
out of the necklace. Then, the hand she still has resting in Shauna’s hair goes slack, resting
precariously on top of some of Shauna’s waves. Shauna notices tears pricking at the corners of
Jackie’s eyelids, then instantly wants to punch herself. Instead, Shauna sighs, before leaning in to
press a quick peck on the corner of Jackie’s mouth. She rapidly pulls back, finding Jackie’s glassy
eyes fixated on some random tree behind Shauna's back and her arms now crossed firmly over her
bare chest. “Let’s hear some names.”

“Well,” Shauna cautiously murmurs, as Jackie grits her teeth. “There’s… Jackie One. Jackie
Two…” Shauna starts, spurring Jackie’s gaze to rush right back to Shauna’s face. “Jackie three…
Jackie four—”

Jackie unwinds her arms from her chest, cutting Shauna off by swatting her right across the
shoulder. It’s not playful or light, causing Shauna’s shoulder to literally sting and for her face to
uncomfortably screw up a bit. “So not funny,” Jackie reprimands, scoffing a bit. “You just scared
me, so fucking bad. Do not do that shit again.”

“Oh, yeah? Why’s that?” Shauna innocently asks, although she already knows the answer. She just
wants to hear Jackie say it out loud, provoking her to tilt her head and smile down at Jackie’s
flustered face. Jackie just glares up at her, fingers rehooking themselves into the necklace’s chain.
“Hm?”

“Because I don’t want you to do this with anybody else. Like, that’s how much I love you,” Jackie
gushes, with a saccharine-sweet smile. But, Shauna immediately falls right for it, closing her eyes
and leaning down for a kiss. Of course, right before Shauna can connect their lips together, Jackie
is flicking Shauna right across the forehead with a little giggle. Shauna immediately pulls back a
little bit, continuing to bump her nose against Jackie’s pinkish one. “I take back what I said earlier,
though. You’re a big huge idiot.”

“Well, even though I’m an idiot…” Shauna trails off, kissing the tip of Jackie’s nose. She
automatically scrunches it up in that cute little way of hers, making Shauna’s critically-wounded
heart absolutely gush. “I guess I’m smart enough to know that you’re the only girl for me. Only
person, too.” It's the truth, matching mistakes with Jeff Sadecki be damned.

“You are so corny,” Jackie mumbles, sliding the palm of her free hand up Shauna’s back. She’s
gazing up at Shauna and smiling so brightly now, as a result of Shauna’s words. Her dimples are
cutting right into her face, her nose is scrunched up again, and her forehead is adorably smushed
up. “Like, it’s next level,” Jackie practically whispers, her other hand fumbling with the gold chain
of the necklace.

“You love it though,” Shauna insists, prompting Jackie to squint at her in faux disbelief. She
nudges the tip of her nose against Jackie’s, a matching smile on her own face.

“I mean… I guess,” Jackie nonchalantly says, through the wide grin tugging at the corners of her
mouth. She shrugs her shoulders all casually, letting out this flustered little laugh.

“You guess?” Shauna asks, lips instinctively inching closer to Jackie’s. She can feel Jackie’s hot
breath against her own mouth, but focuses on the feeling of Jackie tightening her grip on the
necklace.
“Mhm… I guess,” Jackie murmurs, bobbing her head lackadaisically. But, before Shauna can think
of a comeback, Jackie is yanking on the golden chain of the necklace and reconnecting their lips
together. She kisses Shauna roughly, teeth nipping at Shauna’s lower lip, as her fingertips graze
against the clasp of Shauna’s bra. “Hmmm?” Jackie hums against Shauna’s lips, right before
earning a frantic nod of approval from Shauna.

Jackie smiles into the kiss, right before unclasping Shauna’s bra and slinging a leg over Shauna’s
hip. She uses the leverage to roll Shauna onto her back, seamlessly straddling her lap. Shauna
quickly sits up, brushing Jackie’s light brown hair back over her tanned shoulders. Then, Jackie is
wringing Shauna’s bra off and tossing it into the grass, before shuffling her lips to Shauna’s neck.

And, well. Shauna knows she isn’t going to last very long, heat and tension pushing at the base of
her pelvis, with Jackie fully naked and literally squirming in her lap. Their bare chests keep
pressing up against each other as Jackie nips at her neck, sending sparks surging down Shauna’s
spine. Then, Jackie is upping the ante, cupping one of Shauna’s breasts and kissing right below her
ear. Shauna groans, winding a hand into Jackie’s hair and tugging roughly, as the ache between her
legs starts to pulse to an almost crushing degree.

“I love you,” Jackie whispers, smirking against Shauna’s neck, once she hears her moan in
response. Shauna’s hips automatically jolt forward, prompting them both to raggedly gasp, as
Jackie circles her thumb over Shauna’s nipple. The brief touch pushes Shauna to snap her eyes
shut, sparkles flying behind her eyelids. Then, Jackie is pulling away and tearing her hand off
Shauna’s breast, placing both hands firmly on Shauna’s shoulders. Before Shauna can even say
anything, Jackie is shoving her back onto the blanket and trailing kisses down her collarbone. “I’ve
wanted to do this since your birthday,” Jackie hoarsely says, as one of her hands swiftly darts
downward. Shauna groans as Jackie kisses around the sensitive skin of her breasts, while blindly
undoing the button of Shauna’s jeans. She shoves her pants down rather quickly, leaving Shauna in
just a pair of underwear.

And, the surge of heat boiling in the pit of her stomach is almost unbearable now, the pressure
against her pelvis mounting. Her boobs have felt so heavy the past few days— kind of dull, kind of
sore— so Jackie’s mouth on them is absolutely obliterating Shauna’s stamina and ability to keep
this thing going. And, well. She wants to keep this thing going, as long as she possibly can.

“Jax. Jackie—” Shauna attempts to warn, although it sounds like a combination of a plea and a
whimper. She weaves a hand into Jackie’s hair and tries to shove Jackie’s head down, hoping that
she’ll get the memo to move further down with her ministrations. But, of course, Jackie doesn’t
fucking budge and continues focusing on Shauna’s boobs. “You need to— fuck. If you don't stop...
I’m gonna—” Shauna incoherently breathes out, before immediately cutting herself off with a
moan. Jackie latches her lips fully around one of Shauna’s nipples and sucks hard, causing
Shauna’s entire body to literally disintegrate.

She painfully scrunches her eyes further shut as the tension knot writhing in her pelvis instantly
snaps, causing all of the nerve endings in her body— from her head, to her toes— to fizzle up and
explode. Panic and pleasure mix together as Shauna’s hips buck up of their own accord, forcing her
to gulp desperately for air. Shauna vaguely registers Jackie unlatching her lips from her nipple,
although she is currently way too focused on calming down her breathing and her shivering body
to even look at Jackie.

But, as soon as Shauna does manage to gather up the willpower to open up her now drooping eyes,
she finds Jackie peering down at her with squinty eyes and furrowed brows. She looks so
completely confused— like, literally shell-shocked— which provokes Shauna to slide a sweaty
palm over her face in anguish. The sight is also enough to send a hot wave of embarrassment
careening through Shauna’s stomach, face flushing a bright shade of red and tingling with heat.
Like, Jackie barely even touched her, but still managed to get her off in a humiliatingly short
amount of time. Jackie literally didn’t even have enough time to get into Shauna’s pants, before it
was all over.

“Wait… did you just—?” Jackie cautiously asks, voice coming out all hushed. Shauna can’t bear to
look at her right now, with the thick swells of shame currently washing over her. So, Shauna just
weakly nods, grimacing behind the palm still latched firmly onto her face. Then, Jackie lets out this
quiet little hum, before circling Shauna’s wrist. “Hey… Shipman,” Jackie murmurs, tugging
Shauna’s hand away from her face. And, surprisingly enough, Jackie is now peering down at
Shauna with soft eyes and a sheepish smile. “It’s seriously not that big of a deal,” Jackie assures,
smoothing out Shauna’s sweaty locks.

“Ok… but Jackie. That was so…” Shauna cuts herself off, right as Jackie schools her with a level
look. Like, even with Jackie’s reassurances, Shauna still feels absolutely mortified. And, to make
matters even worse, the entire situation immediately reminds Shauna of her rather disappointing
hookups with Jeff. It’s really fucking awkward that Shauna used to internally cringe over Jeff’s
inability to last long in the sack, especially when she apparently also can’t. Plus, just being pushed
to think about Jeff in that context— with literally everything that’s been going on— makes
Shauna’s shame increase, tenfold. “That was so embarrassing.”

“Uh-uh” Jackie murmurs, tilting her head a bit. She traces Shauna’s thick eyelashes with her
fingers, watching with awe as they flutter a bit. “I’m taking it as a compliment…” Jackie whispers,
leaning in toward Shauna’s ear. Shauna’s breath hitches, goosebumps pricking on her skin all over
again, at Jackie’s next statement. “Plus, I thought it was really sexy.”

“I— uh,” Shauna stutters, as Jackie pulls back. She’s got this huge smirk on her face, eyes
glimmering with deviousness. “Yeah?”

“Mhm,” Jackie hums, with a smile. Then, Jackie is leaning down and pressing a tender kiss to
Shauna’s lips, before flopping down beside her on the blanket. She immediately cuddles right into
Shauna’s side, nestling her sweaty head onto Shauna’s bare shoulder. “And, don’t you think it’s
like, kinda crazy—” Jackie declares, breaking off into a flustered little laugh. “That we could’ve
been doing this for so long? Like, I really wish that—”

For some reason, hearing Jackie say those words makes a switch in Shauna’s mind flip on, driving
her to re-ask the question that she’s been craving an answer to… for weeks.

“Jax, what are we?” Shauna blurts out, words ungracefully tumbling over each other— like
dominos. And, just like all of the other times Shauna’s asked her a question similar to that one,
Jackie is goggling at her with doe-eyes. “I’m serious. You said you wanted us to be together, but
we haven't talked about what that actually means. So, we need to talk about this. Like, logistics, or
whatever.”

Jackie frowns, confusion creased on her tan forehead. “I— what?” Jackie awkwardly states,
nervously laughing under her breath. Shauna deeply sighs, shifting onto her shoulder, in order to
face Jackie head-on. And, Jackie’s head automatically slides right off of Shauna’s shoulder and
lands on the blanket, leaving Jackie completely defenseless as Shauna searches her eyes. “What are
you— what do you mean, Shauna?”

“You, and me,” Shauna exasperatedly declares, waving her hand between both of their bodies.
Jackie tucks her hand beneath her cheek, biting her lip and peering at Shauna all misty-eyed. “What
is this, Jackie?” Shauna begs, practically pleading for some kind of response. “What are we,
actually? Are we together... or are we just hooking up? What are we doing, Jackie?”
“I— I want us to be…” Jackie murmurs, sucking in a shaky breath. She’s clearly struggling to find
the correct words which, honestly, kind of scares Shauna a bit. Like, Shauna swears she can feel her
heartbeat hammering away in her skull, as Jackie reaches out and plays with the necklace around
Shauna’s neck— again. “Well, we’ve been um. We’ve already been doing coupley-things. Like,
since April…” Jackie whispers, eyes darting away from Shauna’s face. Her words prompt
Shauna’s pulse to kickstart, sounding so fucking promising. “So uh, I kind of just…” Jackie says,
scrunching up her nose and eyes a bit. “I guess I want us to be like, together-together. As um… as a
real couple. Officially, officially,” Jackie stammers out, kind of ramble-y. Shauna swears her eyes
must be bulging right out of their sockets right now, because she really cannot believe what she is
hearing.”But only if you— if you want to.”

“Yes, Jackie,” Shauna hears herself saying, suddenly feeling out-of-body. She’s never felt this
euphoric in her entire life, over legitimately anything. Shauna’s been waiting for this day for
months— has been dreaming about this day, has been yearning for this day— since Jackie kissed
her for the first time, at Lottie’s. “I want to be your girlfriend, too.”

It’s like all thoughts of Natalie and how much more complicated the situation has just become,
have completely evaporated from Shauna’s lovestruck mind. She’s too busy whirling and twirling
on Cloud Nine, staring into Jackie’s gooey eyes. Then, Jackie is leaning in and kissing her, cradling
Shauna’s face in both hands.

And, when she pulls back, Jackie still has that mushy expression on her face. “Can we just…”
Jackie murmurs, tugging her lip between her teeth. Shauna’s smile instantly falls, her entire body
clamming up a bit. Jackie’s going to take it all back, probably because she’s terrified of that fucking
label and all of its implications. Girlfriends. Now, Shauna suddenly wants to slap herself, for
opening her damn mouth so fast. “Just like, keep things between us though? For right now,” Jackie
starts, switching gears— as soon as she notices the pained expression on Shauna’s face. “I just… I
just need more time. With uh— with the idea of everyone knowing about us. And everybody
knowing that we’re like, y’know. Uh—”

“Attracted to one another?” Shauna mercifully states, earning a rather thankful head jerk from
Jackie. Clearly, Jackie is still not quite comfortable with the word gay, which Shauna can handle…
for now. And, well. Shauna’s so used to sneaking around with Jackie already, that she is willing to
wait for Jackie to become a little more comfortable before they go public. “And yeah, Jackie. I can
— I can wait. We can… keep it between us for now,” Shauna states, as Jackie practically beams at
her. “But do you… do you promise that you’ll be comfortable? Like, eventually?”

“I promise,” Jackie quickly supplies, nudging her nose up against Shauna’s. “I wish I wasn’t like…
I don’t know. Like this, I guess,” Jackie says with a sigh, practically squeezing Shauna’s heart.
“I’m just… I’m so used to my parents telling me that this kind of thing is really bad. Like, um. I
know my mom barely ever went to our games, but…” Jackie trails off, scoffing a bit. “After uh—
after every single one of them, she would always make a stupid comment about Van. How she’s
like, paid for a one-way ticket to Hell, and fucked-up shit like that. And it just… I don’t know. It
got to me— it still gets to me, I guess.”

“I’m willing to wait,” Shauna automatically says, smiling all softly at Jackie. She’s honestly really
fucking proud of Jackie for getting this far, even with all the Bible verses and Republican bullshit
that the Taylors have tossed in her way. “Take as long as you need, I get it,” Shauna murmurs, as
Jackie gazes at her all lovingly. “And, I’m really proud of you. It takes a lot of strength to uh… to
go against your parents and their way of thinking.”

Jackie shoots her this shy smile, lips just barely curling at the ends. “You made it worth it, though,”
Jackie confidently declares, swiping her thumb over Shauna’s cheeks. “Being with you, is so worth
it, Shauna. I love—”

Just like the last time they were here, the resoundingly loud crack of a gunshot pierces through the
forest, prompting them both to jerk up, right into sitting positions. They both stare at each other in
unspoken understanding, before scrambling to get their clothes on.

“Do you think they caught something?” Shauna asks, as she slips her pants back on. Jackie rehooks
her bra around her back, right before tugging her black and white striped tee over her head. “Like, I
seriously think I would literally eat anything right now.”

“Oh, yeah,” Jackie absently mumbles, pulling her jeans up. She buttons and zips them back up
quickly, before slipping her shoes back on. “They had to have caught something by now, right? It’s
been a literal week.”

Her stomach drops, as she is instantly forced to remember the terms of her and Natalie’s little one-
sided agreement. She’s done an absolutely fantastic job at pushing those thoughts out of her mind
thus far, but now they’re back and purchasing real estate at the forefront of Shauna’s brain. It’s an
awful feeling, knowing that she and Jackie have just managed to get their shit together, only for
Natalie to absolutely tear their hard work to shreds. A week has already passed since Natalie’s
initial warning, so Shauna only has a few more days to tell Jackie the truth.

Shauna's only got a few more sunrises and sunsets, until her brand-new girlfriend— Jackie fucking
Taylor, herself— finds out that Shauna slept with her ex-boyfriend, twice.

“Well, the first thing we gotta do… is bleed it out.”

Coach Scott is standing right in front of the bloody deer carcass with a knife in his hand, gaze
alternating between each member of the group. Well, each Yellowjacket, besides Lottie and Tai.
And, Shauna isn’t quite sure where the two of them could be, especially since she and Jackie just
got back to the cabin mere minutes ago. Nobody’s filled them in on the details of the Lottie and Tai
stale-mate that Jackie and Shauna ran away from earlier, apparently way too hyper-fixated on the
potential meal laying in front of them, for a gossip session.

Travis and Natalie have apparently managed to get their weird-ass tension in check, which
(unsurprisingly) resulted in them finally shooting a deer. Their little détente led to a successful
hunting session, signaling the end of the Yellowjackets’ starvation… for the time being.

“Who wants to try?” Coach Scott tries again, to practically zero fanfare. Everyone remains eerily
silent, looking between him, the deer, and the knife— in equal parts horror and morbid fascination.
But, of course, Misty fucking Quigley darts her stupid hand up. The sight makes Shauna
instinctively cringe and roll her eyes, before peering right back over to a presently anxious, Coach
Scott.

And then, Coach Scott is reluctantly pushing the knife in Misty’s direction, until Shauna
automatically opens her mouth. “I can do it!” Shauna announces, marching over to Coach Scott.
She grabs the knife right out of his hands, ignoring the confused look on Jackie’s face, as she does
so. Like, it isn’t like Shauna wants to do this, obviously. She just doesn’t want to see a clearly
sociopathic Misty Quigley in action, knowing damn well that Misty— with her weird-ass,
wilderness kink— would probably glow as she violently slashed that deer’s neck.

So, Shauna bends down with the knife, listening to Coach Scott’s words of encouragement. “Just
uh… right across the throat,” Coach Scott says, peering down at her with his teeth gritted. Shauna
nods, placing the blade right up against the creature’s furry neck. She slashes a line right across the
 throat, blood instantaneously spewing right out the wound, similar to how sugary juice would leak
right out of a half-bitten Fruit Gusher. And, man. Shauna would absolutely kill for a Fruit Gusher,
right about now.

The blood continues to trail out of the sharp cut, staining the forest floor with a crimson red color.
She can feel all of her teammates' gazes on her, their terror-filled eyes burning holes against the
side of her face. But, Shauna doesn’t really care about their opinions or feelings, at all.

All she cares about is Jackie, who is currently staring at her with an absolutely expressionless look
on her face. Her eyes are blank, her lips are tight, her arms are crossed firmly over her chest. She’s
staring between Shauna and the knife, but there are no tell-tale signs of horror or disgust etched
into her features. Jackie looks numb, almost like she’s been shocked so badly that she doesn’t even
know how to react. Like, Shauna can’t tell if Jackie is upset— if she’s mad, if she’s disgusted, if
she’s intimidated, if she’s impressed— or not, currently.

Right as Shauna is about to frivolously toss that knife down and check on Jackie, an ear-curdling
screech rings from inside the cabin. Everybody instantly freezes, gazing uneasily between each
other, as Tai comes speed-walking right out of it. Lottie trails a bit father behind, walking at a
normal pace and looking way less anxious, with a neutral expression on her face.

“There’s a— there’s a dead guy in the attic,” Tai announces to the group, bending over to suck in a
breath. Mari and Akilah both audibly gasp, while Natalie sidelong glances over at Travis in some
sort of wordless exchange. “It’s… he’s covered in cobwebs. And he’s a full-on skeleton, like the
ones they used to have in all of the anatomy classrooms,” Tai quickly adds, while Van pats her
back. “He’s probably been up there, for a while. A few decades, or—”

“I told you...” Lottie flatly starts, from behind Tai. Shauna and Jackie exchange a confused look,
before peering over at Lottie. She’s got her arms crossed over her chest, gazing right at Tai, with
blazing hot eyes. It’s like the rest of their teammates aren’t even there, with the way she is so
hyper-fixated on Tai. “That I had a bad feeling about this place, Tai. He definitely does not want us
here. I know he doesn't. I can feel it.”

Shauna gazes back over at the deer, watching some more of its blood gush from the slash mark she
created. She quickly looks back at Jackie, finding her picking at her nails and frowning at the
ground in front of her. Then, Shauna peeks back over at Tai and Lottie, publicly squared off in
some weirdly secretive battle. Finally, Shauna's eyes dart towards Natalie, finding her already
staring. She’s got a smirk playing on her lips, miming a ticking watch, by tapping on her wrist.

It’s only then, that Shauna realizes how fucking screwed she really is.

Chapter End Notes

soooo like.... happy pride month tbh. also my new boss fixed our work schedule so i
should be back to updating twice a week. s/o corporate America i guess!!!

coming up: the yellowjackets crack into the rest of natalie's alcohol supply and play
truth or dare, the night before the ultimatum's two week mark.
 jackie taylor is gay-ish?
Chapter Summary

“Alright… stop it. Stop it,” Natalie murmurs, waving her arm around. She is now
practically beaming beneath the Yellowjackets’ glowing praise, which just makes
Shauna’s blood pressure skyrocket. But then, the boisterous chatter and excitement
slow down, allowing the room to fall eerily silent. It’s only then, that Natalie’s
narrowed eyes reconnect with Shauna’s pleading ones. “So, uh. Shipman…” Natalie
cloyingly murmurs, allowing Shauna’s last name to drip off of her tongue like venom.
She smirks right at Shauna’s rapidly paling face, before going right in for the killing
blow. “Truth or Dare?”

“I— uh,” Shauna shakily says, suddenly feeling like there’s a crushing weight laying
on her chest. She uneasily glances over at Jackie, who appears absolutely none-the-
wiser. Jackie is smiling all sweetly at Shauna, winking at her with her nose scrunched
up. And, well. That sight is enough to make Shauna’s brain short-circuit, prompting
her to unceremoniously say the worst thing possible. “Um… um. Uh. Truth.”

Or: A game of Truth or Dare leads to several revelations.

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

June 24th, 1996

Waves of golden sunlight pour through the cracks within the living room’s shabby windows,
highlighting the almost disturbing amount of lint specks and dust particles swirling in the stale air.
But, the honeyed glow also accentuates the cluster of faint freckles splattered across the bridge of
Jackie’s tanned nose, which is currently scrunched up all cutely.

Jackie is laying flat on her toned stomach with her cheek smushed into the pillow that she and
Shauna have begun to share, humming a medley of sleep noises into the worn-out fabric. Her hazel
eyes are scrunched shut, her mouth is slightly parted, and her light brown hair is tangled up in an
absolutely wicked case of bedhead. She’s got one slender arm slung across Shauna’s stomach,
fingers gripping tightly at the fabric of Shauna’s shirt. And, well. Shauna wasn’t able to sleep all
night, probably because her stomach is currently knotted up way worse than Jackie’s wavy strands
are. So, instead of attempting to toss and turn her way into a fitful slumber, Shauna quickly
resigned herself to watching Jackie sleep.

Shauna’s got herself propped up on one elbow, a palm supporting her cheek, as she peers down at
Jackie’s sleeping form. And, Shauna can’t help but smile, over how innocent and peaceful Jackie
presently looks. It makes Shauna’s heart clench tightly in her chest, seeing Jackie so unguarded
like this.

Jackie is always so open and honest with Shauna, divulging all of her deepest secrets and long-
winded insecurities to Shauna, without much hesitation. Shauna, on the other hand, has been
egregiously lying to Jackie’s naive face for months on end. But, well. Shauna is going to reveal her
deepest— maybe even dirtiest, definitely also darkest— secret to Jackie, as soon as Jackie decides
to crack one of her eyes open. The mere thought of telling Jackie the truth makes Shauna’s stomach
uncomfortably lurch, almost like old cars do, whenever their shoddy brakes are slammed on way
too fast.

Although Shauna really does not want to crush Jackie’s heart today— or like, ever— she knows
that she has to. Grains of sand have slowly been trickling down into the lower chamber of the
metaphorical hourglass that Natalie flipped two weeks ago, allowing the mound at the bottom of
the device to pile up higher and higher each day. But, the sands of time have finally run out,
clotting at the base of the device and within Shauna’s heart.

Today is Shauna’s day of reckoning, which has been forebodingly lurking closer and closer to her,
throughout the darkened hours of nightfall. Jackie is going to find out the truth, with it inelegantly
pouring out of Shauna’s guilty mouth or Natalie’s chronically smirk-covered one. She’s going to
find out about Shauna and Jeff’s clandestine encounters, less than a week after sleeping with
Shauna and finally choosing to officialize their relationship.

Shit is undoubtedly about to hit the fan, whether Shauna’s mentally prepared for it… or not.

“Hey,” Jackie suddenly whispers, peering up at Shauna with one eye cracked open. Her voice is
hoarse and deep, laced with sleep and exhaustion. She still has her face half burrowed in the pillow,
even as she unloops her arm from Shauna’s waist. “Where is everyone else?” Jackie yawns,
cracking open her other eye and rolling onto her side. She turns her head and surveys the room,
before darting her hand upward and carding her fingers through Shauna’s messy hair.

“Off doing chores,” Shauna murmurs, leaning into Jackie’s touch. She’s soaking up the sensation
while she still has access to it, similar to how a cat might languidly bathe in the hot rays of the
summer sun. “You kinda slept in… but I didn’t wanna wake you. Seemed like you needed the
sleep.” Liar. Shauna didn’t wake Jackie up when the rest of their teammates left the cabin, because
she knew that Natalie wouldn’t be able to speak to Jackie, if Jackie was still conked out.

“How chivalrous of you,” Jackie murmurs, squinting at Shauna— with her sleepy, glassy eyes. She
smiles all drowsily at Shauna, chapped lips tugging up a bit at the ends, right before she breaks off
into another yawn. Then, it’s suddenly like Jackie has been hit with a wave of caffeine from a
Dunkin’ Donuts coffee, because she is eagerly springing right into a sitting position. “So, um.
Since we’ve got the cabin all to ourselves…” Jackie mumbles, waggling a suggestive eyebrow.
“Don’t you think we should take advantage?” Jackie lowly whispers, flirtatiously skirting her
fingertips along the bare skin on Shauna’s arm. Goosebumps instantaneously prickle wherever
Jackie touches, compelling Shauna to shiver all over.

“I— uh,” Shauna starts, her pulse immediately quickening. It’s not like Shauna is excited to tell
Jackie the truth, but Shauna needs to be the one to deliver it to her. Like, Shauna cannot believe that
she has to break Jackie’s heart, literally as soon as Jackie cracks open her hazel eyes. But, Shauna
needs to get this over with, in order to prevent Natalie from getting to Jackie first. “I— I need to tell
you something,” Shauna stammers, eyes going a bit misty. Jackie tilts her head at Shauna like a
fucking puppy would, gazing at her all curiously, with these big doe-eyes. Shauna’s stomach flips
at the sight, guts dolphin diving straight onto the cabin floor. She sucks in a painfully sharp breath,
air slicing right at her lungs, as she scrunches her eyes closed. “Jackie, I really—”

“Oh, look! The freeloaders are up!”

Jackie yanks her hand away from Shauna’s arm, moving so quickly that it’s almost like she’s been
burned. And then, Shauna’s eyes immediately flash open, darting right toward the doorway. She
finds Van with an elbow against the doorframe, leaning casually against the splintering wood.
“Sorry,” Jackie instinctively states, pulling back the blanket draped over her thin frame. She
sluggishly stands, right before stretching her arms over her head. Of course, her fucking sleep-shirt
rides up, putting her tan abs on full display. Shauna fights the urge to gape at them, literally
straining to keep her eyes focused on Van’s suspicious face, instead of on Jackie’s body. “I know
we slept in, but we can go get water or—”

“Jesus. I’m just messin’ with you,” Van says with a chuckle, a bright smile quickly bursting onto
her face. Then, Van is sauntering all giddily into the living room, movements so animated that she
basically dances her way toward Jackie and Shauna’s designated sleeping spot. She is somehow
filled to the brim with cheer, boisterous energy overflowing out of her short frame and flooding the
dreary cabin with some much-needed vibrancy. “Just wanted to tell you guys about our big plans
for later. Maybe it’ll bring some energy up in this bitch.”

Shauna’s eyebrows furrow in confusion, glancing between Jackie and Van in utter bewilderment.
But, Jackie seems just as lost as Shauna currently is, if the way she peers at Van like she’s
suddenly grown a second head is of any indication. “So uh… what is the plan for later, then?”
Shauna quickly asks, prompting Van’s smile to grow at least ten sizes bigger. “It’s not like there’s
that much to do out here.”

“Ah, see. That’s where you’re wrong, Shipman,” Van states, enthusiastically clapping her hands
together. Shauna raises an eyebrow right at Van, while Jackie just crosses her arms over her chest
and rapidly blinks at Van in befuddlement. “This morning, while you two sleeping beauties were
still conked in here…” Van giddily trails off, bouncing on the soles of her pink Converse. “God, or
whatever the fuck is in charge of the universe, delivered a motherfucking gift to us.”

Jackie practically guffaws at Van’s words, covering her mouth as she continues to hysterically
laugh. “I’m— fuck. Like, sorry,” Jackie says, in between giggles. She’s laughing so hard, that her
hazel eyes have literally begun to tear up. “I just— I’m so confused. Did God send us a fucking
rescue plane, while I was snoring on the literal floor?” Jackie mumbles, rubbing at her glassy eyes.
“Or, I don’t know. Did he send us some like, actual food?” Jackie adds, clumsily gesturing her
hands around for emphasis. “Don’t tell me that God hand-delivered us a pizza from Pete and
Elda’s… or a bunch of bagels from Joe’s… or—”

“Ok, Jackie. Shut it… before my mouth starts to water,” Van faux-reprimands, holding out her
palm. Jackie immediately shuts her mouth, then motions for Van to get on with it. “So, no. We
didn’t get sent our own personal buffet… or a one-way trip back to Jersey,” Van states, earning a
dejected head shake and tongue click from Jackie. “But, he did send us plenty of booze, courtesy of
—”

“My missing luggage,” Natalie announces, creeping right through the doorway. Shauna’s heart
immediately freezes in her chest, steady rhythm disrupted by the mere sight of Natalie. Then,
Shauna’s own lips instinctively twist up into a scowl, as Natalie casually prances over. Of course,
Natalie’s got her lips pursed in this haughty grin, while her blue eyes glow like a reptile’s. “Which
we should thank Lottie for finding. God didn’t send us shit…” Natalie trails off, sidling up beside
Van. She slings an arm over Van’s shoulder, patting it all cooly, with her grimy little hands. “The
rip currents in the lake did.”

“Alright, well. It doesn’t matter who or what sent it to us. All that matters, is that we’ve finally got
some shit to drink,” Van proclaims, grinning right at Natalie. She nods at Van in agreement, before
glancing over at Shauna, smirking at her like a fucking Cheshire cat. “So, considering the fact that
we’re all bored out of our goddamn minds…” Van murmurs, practically radiating with excitement.
“Natalie and I think that we should play a few rounds of Truth or Dare, as soon as everybody’s
finished with their chores.”
As soon as those relatively harmless words bubble out of Van’s mouth, Shauna’s entire body goes
rigid. She feels frozen in place, basically like she’s been cemented right to the cabin’s creaky
floorboards. A dull chill swells up her spine, almost like somebody has just dumped the Gatorade
cooler that Misty fucking Quigley used to fill with ice water and bring to their soccer practices,
right over her head.

Yet again, Shauna has been breezily outmaneuvered by Natalie fucking Scatorccio, in such an
unbeatable manner. Like, Natalie has undoubtedly won their tacit game of psychological chess,
cornering Shauna’s king and ensuring a checkmate. The entire group is going to play Truth or Dare
within the next half hour, rendering Shauna physically unable to privately tell Jackie about the Jeff
thing. So, Shauna figures that evil genius Natalie Scatorccio will probably ask her a Jeff-centric
question, which would effectively strangle the truth right out of Shauna’s throat. It’s fucking
horrifying, but Shauna can literally visualize the entire scenario in her muddled brain. She pictures
a drunk Jackie hysterically crying, violently shoving Shauna around and wailing at the top of her
lungs, right in front of all of their teammates.

Of course, Natalie does confirm all of Shauna’s sneaking suspicions, basically indicating that this
stupid party game is her final attack strategy in their war over Jackie. Once Van’s mouth latches
closed, Natalie is peering over at Shauna with fiery eyes, shrugging her shoulders up in
nonchalance. Then, Natalie’s eyes soften as her gaze switches to Jackie, who she is now smiling all
broadly. Natalie is purposely rubbing salt right into the gaping wound on Shauna’s heart, knowing
that she’s beaten her at her own game.

Then, Shauna catches Jackie grinning widely in her periphery, joyously clapping her hands together
like a kid at a candy store. The sight makes Shauna’s stomach swirl, probably because of how
clueless Jackie is. This isn’t just a simple game of Truth or Dare, filled to the brim with easygoing
fun and drunken antics. Natalie is using this typically amusing game as a twisted cover-up, in order
to freely expose Shauna’s dirty little secret. And, well. Shauna refuses to wave the white flag,
forcing herself to beg on her hands and knees for Natalie to show her some mercy. She isn’t going
to wilt like a dead flower, under the heat of Natalie’s gaze or the strength of Natalie’s underhanded
antics. Shauna is not going down without a bloody and courageous fight, because that’s how much
her relationship with Jackie is worth saving.

“Shouldn’t we be… I don’t know,” Shauna murmurs, feigning nonchalance. Natalie’s eyes
immediately dart back over to her face, scowling at Shauna with wrinkled eyebrows and a crooked
jaw. “Saving all that alcohol… for like, sanitation purposes?”

“I packed three bottles of Smirnoff in my luggage. Tai and Misty both said it's fine if we drink two
of them… because we’ve still got a shit ton of Jackie’s weird-ass makeup shit,” Natalie flatly
states, as Jackie instinctively lets out this girlish laugh. And, of course, the sound immediately
makes Natalie soften like a stick of butter. She whips her gaze back to Jackie, who is shaking her
head in clear astonishment. “What?” Natalie asks, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Jesus
Christ. “It’s true, ‘Cap. Pretty sure you packed enough Sea Breeze to last a fucking lifetime.”

“Ok, yeah. You’re one to talk about overpacking,” Jackie light-heartedly mocks, bobbing her head
all frivolously. “Three fucking bottles? Like, not that I’m complaining or anything, but…
seriously?” Jackie adds, acquiring a shrug and a bashful grin from Natalie in response. “What the
hell did you think that we were gonna do in Seattle? Go to a rave, or something?”

“Nah. I just knew that all of you dweebs wouldn’t pack anything,” Natalie cooly states, so fucking
confidently and charismatically. Like, even though Shauna currently feels like her entire world is
hanging by a thread, Natalie remains completely unbothered by the situation at hand. She is so
calm, cool, and collected— which just makes Shauna want to scream in sheer rage. “So… you’re
welcome.”

“Thanks… I guess,” Shauna placatingly spits out, right before Jackie can successfully open her
mouth again. “But, uh. I don’t know. I feel like it really isn’t a good idea to drink out here,”
Shauna murmurs, earning an exasperated eye roll from Natalie. Van just squints at Shauna, looking
completely taken aback. It’s almost like Van cannot believe that Shauna would turn down a sip of
alcohol, after weeks of forced abstinence. And, yeah. Shauna knows that she sounds absolutely
ridiculous, basically refusing the support of a fairly reliable numbing agent, which would probably
make being stuck in the wilderness temporarily less unbearable. “Like, what if somebody
drunkenly stumbles out of the cabin, then runs into a wolf? What if somebody breaks something or
blacks out, when there aren’t any hospitals around? It’s just… not safe. Getting drunk out here, in
the woods, feels like a dumb—”

“What the fuck are you? A Narc, or something?” Natalie exasperatedly states, with a scoff. Jackie
winces a bit at that comment, gaze uneasily alternating between Natalie’s outraged face and
Shauna’s pale one. “First of all, nobody’s gonna fucking die. We’re splitting two bottles between
like… eight people. There’s absolutely no fucking shot that somebody is going to black, or do
something that stupid…” Natalie counters, huffing and puffing like she’s the Big Bad Wolf or some
shit. “Second of all… I’m pretty sure that you were the only person who got absolutely shit-faced
at that kegger, right before we left,” she drawls, sounding all condescending. “And, maybe all the
beers you chugged fucked with your eyesight, but last time I checked… we were drinkin’ at
Allaire,” Natalie spits, tilting her head with a scowl. “Pretty sure a State fucking Park is filled with
trees, just like these woods are. And you didn’t bat an eye when you were drinking there, did ya…
Shipman.”

“Ok, but that— that’s different,” Shauna weakly stammers, feeling all of her power slipping away
from her. Natalie tilts her head even further, slowly shaking her bleach blonde head back and forth,
like Shauna’s a little kid who's just been put in time-out. “It’s not safe here. What if—”

“I mean, I’m all for it. We just… need to keep an eye on each other,” Jackie firmly states, cutting
Shauna right off. Shauna bites her tongue so harshly, that the metallic taste of blood creeps into her
mouth. Fuck. “I get why you’re worried, Shauna,” Jackie murmurs, smiling softly at Shauna’s
tensed-up face. “But, I think it’ll be fine… and fun. We all deserve a break, don’t you think?”

Shauna feels like she could explode at any second, her gut fizzling and bubbling up, like a pipe
bomb ready to burst. She remains still for an ungodly amount of time, body tense and rigid with
pent-up rage. Jackie has legitimately no fucking clue that she is agreeing to get her heart splintered
into pieces, in the shadiest and most egregious way possible. Plus, it’s not like Shauna can say
anything now, with the way her throat suddenly feels drier than the Sahara Desert. And, of course,
all eyes are suddenly on Shauna’s presumably screwed-up face. Van’s baby blues are glued to
Shauna’s face, a reassuring smile playing at the corners of her lips. Natalie’s snake-like eyes are
peering right into Shauna’s brown ones, practically daring Shauna to open her mouth or try to
make a move.

But, Shauna ignores Natalie and Van’s gazes, in favor of meeting Jackie’s. She’s peering at
Shauna all pleadingly, with her patented puppy-dog eyes. Her hazel irises are unusually larger and
glassier, while she thrusts her lip out in a childish pout. Shauna has seen this look about a thousand
times— has been on the receiving end of it, more times than she can count— so its power should
be rendered completely obsolete, at this point. Like, Shauna should be so accustomed to this stupid
face by now, but it still manages to work fucking wonders on her.

So, Shauna quickly crumbles like a dead leaf, within seconds of staring at Jackie’s pitiful face.
“Yeah, fine. Whatever,” Shauna bitterly grumbles, finally accepting defeat. And, although Shauna
sounds completely pissed, Jackie is apparently way too excited to notice the inflection of her voice.
She squeals like a schoolgirl, rushing over to huddle up with a smirking Natalie and a grinning
Van.

From her spot on the ground, Shauna can hear Jackie excitedly chatter with them about cleaning up
the cabin and setting it up for the Yellowjackets’ drunken antics later. She pays Shauna
legitimately zero mind, as she begins to describe potential decorating strategies in meticulous
detail, to Natalie and Van. And, hearing Jackie talk about this game of Truth or Dare like she’s
currently planning a wedding, makes Shauna internally cringe.

But, Jackie isn’t planning a stupid wedding. She isn’t picking out color-coordinated flowers, for a
handful of arrangements. Jackie isn’t picking out the perfect flavor combination, for a three-tiered
wedding cake. She isn’t trying on and selecting a stunning wedding dress, that would highlight her
natural beauty.

If anything, Jackie is unknowingly planning a funeral. And, not just any funeral, either. She is
unintentionally making plans and arrangements that will ultimately aid in the murder and
subsequent burial, of their burgeoning relationship. Jackie is unconsciously reacting just like
Natalie predicted she would, if the smug grin on Natalie’s face is of any indication.

Natalie is using this absurd drinking game as a cover-up, in order to freely expose Shauna’s dirty
laundry to Jackie and the rest of the Yellowjackets. Shauna waited way too long to tell Jackie on
her own terms, so now Natalie is apparently out for blood. She is showing Shauna no mercy,
gunning right for the jugular vein, for God only knows what reason.

And, well. Shauna gazes at Jackie’s pretty and happy-go-lucky face, soaking up Jackie’s last
moments of blissful unawareness and cluelessness. In less than a half-hour, Jackie will more than
likely be sobbing and screaming at Shauna. She’ll tearlessly rant about Shauna stealing her
virginity, instead of it being a romantic and mutual exchange. She’ll scream and cry over Shauna
choosing to sleep with Jeff first, instead of her. She’ll incoherently wail about how awful of a
person Shauna is, but all of the broken curses and horrific insults that Jackie will hurl at her will be
true. That’s because Shauna knows that she is a horrible person— a serial liar, a two-timer, a back-
stabbing bitch, a horrific friend— through and through.

That last thought suddenly has Shauna fighting the urge to chug all three of those Smirnoff
handles, on an empty stomach.

“Alright, Lot. Truth or Dare?” Van asks, taking a huge swig from one of the Smirnoff handles.

All of the Yellowjackets— well, besides Coach Scott— are sitting criss-cross on the living room
floor, giggling and drinking away. It’s kind of weird, but Shauna swears that if she just closes her
eyes, it’s like they’re all acting drunk and stupid on Lottie’s basement floor in Wiskayok, New
Jersey.

But, they are not chugging cheap wine coolers in the Matthews’ McMansion, back in Wiskayok.
The Yellowjackets are passing around a bottle of hard liquor in a dusty old cabin, desperately
attempting to ignore the fact that they are currently trapped in the wilderness. And, well. Based on
the smiles plastered across everyone’s faces, Shauna thinks that the Yellowjackets have been doing
a good job at pretending like everything is fine.

Well, everyone but Shauna herself has done a pretty bang-up job, at acting like everything is
perfectly copacetic. Although nobody has picked Natalie to answer a question or fulfill a dare yet,
Shauna knows that it is going to happen eventually. And, well. As soon as Natalie has
accomplished her chosen task, Shauna knows that Natalie will then utilize her turn to gun right for
Shauna’s lying ass.

It’s like Shauna is sitting in a burning building, patiently waiting for the fire to consume her,
instead of escaping. Shauna didn’t tell Jackie the truth fast enough or on her own terms, out of fear
of breaking Jackie’s heart and losing her completely. So, although Shauna will continue to blame
and hate Natalie fucking Scatorccio for exposing her, Shauna understands that she basically did all
of this to herself. Like, Shauna also knows that there is literally nothing she can do at this point,
except maybe say a silent prayer that Natalie will randomly decide to keep her mouth shut.

“Dare,” Lottie suddenly states, snapping Shauna right out of her daze. Then, Shauna peers across
the circle at Jackie, who is sitting right next to the shit-starter herself. Natalie fucking Scatorccio
stole Jackie away before she could even attempt to sit next to Shauna, dragging a reluctant Jackie
over to the opposite side of the circle. And now, they are passing the second bottle of Smirnoff
back and forth, taking swigs in between giggles and chitter-chatter. The sight makes Shauna’s
blood boil, simmering spurts of resentment and anger coursing right through her veins. Natalie is
acting all buddy-buddy with Jackie, just to prime Jackie for the heartbreak that she is about to
purposely unleash upon her. “Nothing too crazy though… I’m not trying to end up like the attic
corpse,” Lottie snarkily states, peering right over at Tai with a taut grin. And, of course, Tai just
exasperatedly rolls her eyes in response.

“Hmm…” Van murmurs, stroking her chin in a clear display of deep thought. “Looks like I’ve gotta
figure out a new dare then,” Van jokes, eyes shimmering with pure joy. Her happiness is basically
contagious, prompting most of their drunken teammates to giggle and chuckle a bit to themselves.
Like, basically all of the Yellowjackets lightly laugh and giddily slap their knees at Van’s joke,
besides Tai— and, of course, Shauna herself. But then, Van is animatedly wagging a finger in the
air, preventing everybody from recognizing Tai and Shauna’s party-pooping demeanors. “Ooh…
ooh… got it!” Van announces, a sly smile playing on her lips. “Lottie, I dare you to…” Van
pauses, glancing around the circle. She is clearly trying to play up the excitement, leaving all of the
Yellowjackets to squirm and writhe, right at the edge of their seats. “Go pinch Coach Scott’s ass!”

As soon as those words ungracefully spill from Van’s energetic lips, the entire circle erupts into
inharmonic laughter. Even Shauna can’t stop herself from laughing this time, wringing her eyes
away from Jackie and Natalie, just to point them at Lottie’s face. Lottie is playfully rolling her eyes
at Van, apparently unaware of the death stare that Misty is now aiming and firing, right in her
direction. And, well. Misty currently looks so fucking deranged, that Shauna figures that there
must be a demon currently living inside of her. There’s a vein-popping right out of her forehead,
her brace-covered teeth are clenched, and her eyes are narrowed into literal slits. Like, with all the
short-shorts he wears, Shauna kind of understands why Misty is so fucking enamored with Coach
Scott. But, Shauna will admit that she finds Misty’s possessiveness pretty goddamn weird,
especially since Coach Scott is ten years older than her and seems completely uninterested in
catching a case.

And, maybe Lottie is hyper-aware of the deep scowl plastered onto Misty’s reddened face, because
she is quickly twisting around and waving a finger in Misty’s direction. “So… I did say that I
didn’t wanna end up like that dead guy,” Lottie cheerily states, faux-grimacing a bit at Misty.
“Which is why I’m uh… gonna pass on that dare. I’m really not in the mood to get smothered in
my sleep, because of your never-ending love for Coach Scott… Misty.”

Yet again, a surge of mismatched cackling rattles the brittle cabin walls, prompting Misty’s face to
contort into an even deeper shade of red. “That’s not—” Misty weakly attempts, shoving her
glasses up higher, on the bridge of her nose. “I don’t— I don’t love Coach Scott.”
“Yeah… uh-huh,” Lottie murmurs, sounding entirely unconvinced. She then gestures with grabby
hands, for the bottle of Smirnoff that Van is currently sipping from. Van passes it off to Lottie
lightning-fast, almost like they’re playing a round of Hot Potato, instead of a round of Truth or
Dare. “Just… let me chug some of this in peace, so that I can get my turn and you can keep your
boyfriend all to yourself. Alright, Misty?”

Misty snappily bobs her head, huffing an agitated sigh out of her nose. “Whatever,” Misty
murmurs, watching as Lottie unscrews the bottlecap.

Then, Lottie is chugging down gulp after gulp of the clear liquid, before abruptly pulling the
Smirnoff bottle away from her lips. She wipes some of the remaining liquid from her mouth,
placing the glass bottle right onto the dusty floor. “Alright… my turn,” Lottie murmurs, squinting
around the circle. But, Lottie’s eyes immediately gravitate toward Tai, who is currently sitting right
next to Shauna. “Tai…” Lottie suddenly states, prompting an agitated scoff to spill from Tai’s
mouth. “Truth or Dare?”

“Truth,” Tai quickly spits out, eyebrows crinkled and jaw clenched. “I’m really not in the mood to
do any dares. Like, I guess I’m just…” Tai confidently pauses, licking her lips a bit. Then, Tai is
opening her mouth once more, allowing a series of condescending words to drip right off of her
sharp tongue. “Not in the mood to end up like the dead guy in the attic, either.”

Lottie takes another sip of the Smirnoff, glaring right at Tai, as she swallows it down with a wince.
“Right…” Lottie casually murmurs, placing the Smirnoff right back down. Her lips then upturn
into this mischievous smirk, as she taps her fingertips against the bottle’s glassy exterior. “So, Tai.
My question for you is…” Lottie trails off, clicking her tongue. Her eyes remain glued to Tai’s,
flames flickering within her dilated irises. “Why did you purposely break Allie’s leg?” Lottie
cloyingly asks, prompting everyone’s jaws to drop. Jackie’s eyes immediately rush to Shauna’s
face, but Shauna pointedly looks down. She exasperatedly juts the heel of one of her palms into her
eye, while desperately fighting the urge to screech. Of course, Jackie isn’t just going to find out
about Shauna’s secret affair during this game of Truth or Dare, but she is also going to hear about
Shauna’s involvement in the Allie situation. “Like, why would you purposely try to cripple a
fourteen-year-old girl?”

“I didn’t,” Tai fires back, between gritted teeth. Her back shoots rim-rod straight, while the rest of
her body also tenses right up. “That shit…” Tai trails off, sounding a little less confident. She
glances around the circle, finding that all eyes are currently narrowed right at her. And, of course,
Tai then immediately responds… by looking right to Shauna for backup. “It wasn’t on purpose. It
was a freak fucking accident,” Tai says, right as Van covers her mouth in shock. “Right, uh—
Shauna?”

Her eyes are pleading, practically begging Shauna to just go along with the bullshit that she is
spewing. And, although Shauna can legitimately feel Jackie’s alarmed eyes on her profile, she
decides to help Tai out. It’s better to just lie and cover up Tai’s mistake, especially since Shauna
knew about Tai’s plan and did absolutely nothing to stop it. Like, if anything, Shauna is as guilty as
Tai is. “Yeah… it was an accident,” Shauna murmurs, offering Tai a sidelong glance. Tai
immediately deflates a bit, offering Shauna a grateful smile. “That’s fucked, Lot.”

Lottie leans back, planting her palms onto the splintering floor. She clicks her tongue, shaking her
head in faux-bewilderment. “Alright… I guess,” Lottie snarkily says, sounding entirely
unconvinced. “The entire situation is just very… Nancy Kerrigan versus Tonya Harding,” Lottie
murmurs, throwing her hands up in faux-defeat. “That’s all.”

“It was an accident. I didn’t pull a Tonya. Trust me,” Tai placatingly murmurs, earning a rather
reluctant head nod from Lottie. She’s still snickering, while the rest of the Yellowjackets continue
to gape at Tai. And, well. They all still look entirely unconvinced, peering at Tai as if they have
just caught her committing some kind of egregious murder. “So, uh. Moving on…” Tai murmurs,
attempting to assuage the group. “Natalie. Truth or Dare?”

Shauna’s jaw all but drops, her bewildered gaze instinctively alternating between Natalie and Tai.
It’s like the entire universe is working against Shauna’s favor, attempting to make her suffer for all
of her misdeeds. Shauna just covered for Tai, who opts to pay Shauna back for her kindness… by
inadvertently fucking her over.

Natalie is going to get her turn right after this, which will grant her the opportunity to freely
decimate Shauna’s entire life existence.

“Truth,” Natalie states, pursing her lips and peering right at Shauna. And, that stupid look basically
proves all of Shauna’s theories about Natalie’s crafty scheme correct, in seconds. Shauna and
Jackie’s brand-new relationship is done for, all because of a childish game of Truth or Dare.

“Is it true that you and your friends egged Principal Berzonsky’s house last summer?” Tai inquires,
prompting a wave of giggles from the group. Of course, Tai’s already managed to earn their
fucking affection back, without even having to put in any real effort.

“Duh,” Natalie breezily replies, earning an enthusiastic round of applause from the group. Shauna
instinctively rolls her eyes, desperately fighting the urge to go whack Natalie across the face.
“Thank you, thank you…” Natalie says, gesturing her arm in a fake bow. “Hate to say it, but that
jackass deserved it.”

“You did the entire Garden State a real goddamn service,” Van proclaims, chuckling a bit to
herself. “You are Jersey’s finest. Like… Bon Jovi who?”

“Alright… stop it. Stop it,” Natalie murmurs, waving her arm around. She is now practically
beaming beneath the Yellowjackets’ glowing praise, which just makes Shauna’s blood pressure
skyrocket. But then, the boisterous chatter and excitement slow down, allowing the room to fall
eerily silent. It’s only then, that Natalie’s narrowed eyes reconnect with Shauna’s pleading ones.
“So, uh. Shipman…” Natalie cloyingly murmurs, allowing Shauna’s last name to drip off of her
tongue like venom. She smirks right at Shauna’s rapidly paling face, before going right in for the
killing blow. “Truth or Dare?”

“I— uh,” Shauna shakily says, suddenly feeling like there’s a crushing weight laying on her chest.
She uneasily glances over at Jackie, who appears absolutely none-the-wiser. Jackie is smiling all
sweetly at Shauna, winking at her with her nose scrunched up. And, well. That sight is enough to
make Shauna’s brain short-circuit, prompting her to unceremoniously say the worst thing possible.
“Um… um. Uh. Truth.”

Shauna only realizes the gravity of what she has just accidentally said, once Natalie’s lips twist into
this absolutely vile grin. But, right as Shauna begins to open her mouth to desperately beg for a
dare instead, Natalie is already blurting out her stupid question. “Are you a virgin?”

The entire circle immediately falls quiet, allowing the silence to uncomfortably ring within
Shauna’s eardrums. Natalie is smirking at her like she knows that she has won, lips twisting up so
high that the corners strain the pale skin on her cheeks. And, the panic Shauna is currently feeling
must be proudly displayed on her face, if the way the rest of the Yellowjackets are currently
squinting and frowning at her is of any indication.

But, Shauna blatantly ignores everybody else’s gaze, in order to focus on catching Jackie’s hazel
irises. And, well. Jackie is bright red, nervously picking at her cuticles and peering at Shauna like a
deer-in-headlights. Her eyes are blown so wide, that they basically bug right out of her eye sockets.
Her chapped lips are tensed up in a straight line, making her face look absolutely flat.

Jackie knows that Shauna is no longer a virgin, from personal experience. But, Jackie doesn’t know
that she wasn’t Shauna’s first, or even Shauna’s second. Jackie doesn’t know that Shauna lost her
virginity to Jeff, riding him in the front seat of his truck, less than an hour after telling Jackie that
she loved her for the first time.

And, well. Shauna is going to take advantage of Jackie’s cluelessness, in order to give Natalie
exactly what she wants.

“No,” Shauna firmly states, prompting an assortment of gasps and whispers to fill the room. And,
Natalie apparently wasn’t expecting this sort of reaction from Shauna, as her smirk immediately
slips right off of her face. “I’m not.”

“With who?” Mari blurts out, sounding completely peeved. “How the fuck did you lose it before
me?” she spits, letting out this wry laugh. She covers her heart with her hand, looking absolutely
scandalized. “I mean like, no offense. But… seriously? You literally sit and sulk in the corner at
parties, so… who did you fuck and—”

“Jesus Christ, Mari. How about you shut the fuck up, and wait your turn? Then, you can ask
Shauna as many stupid fucking questions, as you want!” Jackie grits out, jaw clenched. She’s got
her slender hands balled up into fists, glaring at Mari, like she might tackle her at any given
moment. “Like, maybe you should just… fuck off. For like, two seconds?”

And, of course, Mari immediately takes Jackie’s complete shift in demeanor as a sign to back
down. “Damn… somebody better take that bottle away from her,” Mari mumbles, bordering on
downright bitchy. “And uh… fine. You're safe, for now, Shipman,” Mari cloyingly remarks, eyes
raking up and down Shauna’s frame. “But I would love some answers, because I am a bit
confused. Like, how the fuck do you pull more than me.” Bitch.

“Hey, Mar. Let’s get you that turn,” Shauna snarks, although Mari is apparently too stupid to
notice the bitchy tone seeping into Shauna’s voice. She practically squeals at Shauna’s words,
clapping her hands together all merrily. “Truth or Dare?”

“Let’s go with… dare,” Mari says, with a bright smile. “But, please. Nothing Coach Scott related.”

“I dare you…” Shauna trails off, narrowing her eyebrows right at Mari’s face. Like, with how
much Mari has managed to piss Shauna off in such a short span of time, Natalie has basically
become a complete afterthought. “To go fuck off.”

A girlish giggle bubbles right out of Jackie’s throat, as she gazes at Shauna with a dopey grin.
Mari, on the other hand, appears to be a little less amused. She huffs a sigh out of her nose, before
snatching one of the bottles of Smirnoff, right out of Jackie’s hands. “Cheers to that,” Mari
announces, chugging a shit-ton of the bitter liquid down. And, once she is done drinking, Mari
unceremoniously pushes the glass bottle right back into Jackie’s waiting arms. “Alright… I’m not
about to let you rip my head off, Shauna. So, Jackie… Truth or Dare?”

“Hm,” Jackie murmurs, tapping her chin with her fingers. She’s still smiling all sweetly at Shauna,
admiration apparent in her hazel irises. “There’s been a lot of truths. So, I’m gonna change it up.
Let’s go with… dare.”

“I dare you and Natalie to kiss,” Mari automatically states, with absolutely zero hesitation. Jackie
just gapes at Mari in confusion, while Natalie confidently shoots Shauna a wink and a sly grin.

And, well. Shauna suddenly feels so claustrophobic, that it's like Natalie is smothering her with
Jackie’s stupid striped pillow. She can hardly breathe, gasping for air like she’s just run a
marathon. So, instead of watching this horrific situation unfold right before her eyes, Shauna
unceremoniously rises from her seat on the floor. "I feel kind of gross from the alcohol. So, I think
I'm gonna go get some fresh air," Shauna absently tosses over her shoulder, attempting to assuage
the group. Shauna doesn't even bother waiting for any responses, as she practically plows toward
the front door. She swings it open and rushes outside, purposely disregarding the cacophony of
pleas and comments, that begin to echo from the direction of her teammates.

As soon as the crisp air hits her face, Shauna huffs out a sigh of relief. It immediately rejuvenates
Shauna, simultaneously slowing down her pulsating heart and her throbbing temples. And, now
that she has calmed down, Shauna knows that she should go back into that cabin and attempt to
peel Natalie's dirty fingers off of Jackie's body.

But, instead of heading back inside and laying claim on Jackie, Shauna aimlessly charges straight
for the lake. Like, at this point, there’s not much Shauna can do to stop Natalie. Jackie is going to
kiss Shauna’s worst nemesis during a game of Truth or Dare, just to keep up appearances, within
the group. Then, Natalie is going to tell Jackie all about Shauna’s fuck-session with Jeff, which
took place immediately after Shauna’s initial love confession to Jackie.

Shauna really thought that she had managed to steal the upper hand away from Natalie, through the
confidence she displayed, during Natalie’s round of Truth or Dare. But, Shauna should know
better, by now. She should know that Natalie is absolutely ruthless, especially since she has
basically been jonesing to divulge the truth to Jackie, this entire goddamn time.

So, Shauna suspects that nobody is going to come looking for her, as she marches deeper into the
forest. Jackie isn’t going to come to collect her in a few minutes, because she’ll be too busy hearing
all about Shauna’s indiscretions, from Natalie. Or, maybe she’ll be too busy kissing Natalie on the
lips, to go find her actual girlfriend. But, well. Shauna suspects that Jackie will more than likely be
too busy crying over Shauna’s egregious lies and betrayals, to worry about her well-being.

Maybe Shauna should’ve stayed inside, after all.

Shauna is sitting on the pebbly shore of the lake, dipping her toes in the ice-cold water, while
desperately attempting to blink back all of the salty tears that keep pricking at the corners of her
eyelids.

She can’t stop thinking about Jackie, finally forcing herself to ruminate over how much she has
royally fucked things up. Like, Shauna knows that Jackie should hate her, especially after all of the
fucked up things that Shauna has done. She’s never deserved Jackie’s utmost love and affection, in
any shape or form. Shauna destroyed their relationship with her bare hands, before they were really
even granted a real shot. Her self-sabotaging tendencies somehow managed to severely burn
Jackie, in a fucked-up display of collateral damage.

Right before Shauna can mull over all of her self-destructive actions, she hears the tell-tale sound
of footsteps, creeping up behind her. So, Shauna instinctively twists around, hoping that Jackie is
the one currently kicking up clumps of pebbly sand and racing right toward her. But, nope.

Of course, Shauna’s bewildered eyes land right on Natalie fucking Scatorccio, frivolously
sauntering right toward her. She’s got this huge scowl splattered across her lips and her fists
clenched at her sides, as she quickly plops right down beside Shauna.
“You are un-fucking-believable, you know that… right?” Natalie spits, agitation seeping into her
gravelly voice. And of course, Shauna’s entire body instinctively shudders, at her downright
accusatory tone. She attempts to bat away the tears now freely leaking onto her cheeks, while
Natalie continues to pick up steam. “Two weeks. I gave you two whole fucking weeks to tell Jackie
about what you did. And you… what? Said nothing? Did nothing?” Natalie proclaims, earning a
bashful head jerk from Shauna in response. Then, Shauna is letting her head hang low in
embarrassment, glassy eyes fixated on the pebbly sand beneath them. “Unreal. You’re so fucking
—”

“Did you tell her?” Shauna manages to choke out, even with the hardened lump scraping at her
esophagus. She keeps her eyes trained on the ground, even as she hears Natalie let out this
resoundingly loud scoff, in response to her question. “Does she— does she know?”

“No,” Natalie murmurs, shaking her head with a wry laugh. Shauna’s eyes immediately dart up in
disbelief, quickly examining Natalie’s pursed lips and glazed-over eyes. But, Shauna doesn’t find
any malice or dishonesty within Natalie’s blue eyes, discovering a tinge of resentment instead. “I
didn’t tell her yet.”

“Why?” Shauna says, voice coming out all watery. The tears are violently flooding out of Shauna's
eyes now, violently cascading down her cheeks, almost like Shauna is a human version of Niagara
Falls. “I thought—”

“Do you even realize how lucky you are, to have somebody that loves you as much as Jackie loves
you?” Natalie grumbles, narrowing her eyes right at Shauna’s face. And, before Shauna can even
think of anything to say, Natalie is rambling on. “That chick loves you, unconditionally. And, it’s
not even like you guys are… related, or something. You’re just best friends, but she still cares
about you… so fucking much,” Natalie proclaims, shaking her head a bit. Then, Natalie whips her
head around and gazes wistfully at the lake, rubbing her eyes with her fists. Shauna sniffles a bit,
rubbing her nose and her tear-filled eyes. They are more than friends, but it's not like Natalie’s
wrong; like, Shauna doesn’t deserve Jackie’s unadulterated love, at all. “I don’t even think my own
mom loves me as much as Jackie loves you. My own flesh and blood— my fucking mom, who’s
got like, a biological incentive to love me— legitimately loves me less, than Jackie loves you. And
you— you what?” Natalie sputters, clicking her tongue. “You betrayed her? You took advantage
of her love for you? You lied to her? You slept with her fucking boyfriend, just because—”

“I love her too,” Shauna tearily proclaims, voice deep from all the mucus and snot. Natalie shakes
her head and laughs, grabbing a pebble off the ground and skidding it across the water’s surface. “I
— I made a mistake. There’s so much shit you don’t even know, Natalie. It’s… it’s so
complicated. I swear—”

“No, it’s not complicated. You’re just a self-centered bitch, who doesn’t deserve Jackie’s
friendship…” Natalie trails off, clenching her jaw. “I wish I had a friendship like that. Like, I wish
that somebody loved me and cared about me, as much as Jackie loves and cares about you. I’ve
never experienced that kinda love, in my entire fucking life. Not from my parents… not from any of
the guys that I’ve been with,” Natalie huffs out a sigh, rubbing her eyes again. “And you just— you
just threw that love away. You basically tossed your friendship with Jackie in the toilet… and for
what? For Jeff fucking Sadecki? Aren’t you supposed to be one of the smart ones… or something?”
Natalie rambles on, steam practically shooting out of her ears. Shauna just continues to silently cry,
covering her mouth with her palm. “I just don’t get it. I mean, seriously? What the fuck is wrong
with you, dude? Like… is Jeff packing a magic wiener? Did Jackie—”

“I fucking love her, alright? Like, I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love Jackie. I love her—
I’m… I— I’m in love with her,” Shauna tearily proclaims, with as much grace as a category five
tornado. Natalie just gawks at her, sharp jaw hanging by a thread, as Shauna incoherently rambles
onward. “We hooked up— we’ve been hooking up— for months. But I— I didn’t think that Jackie
loved me like that. I really didn’t think that she could ever love me like that. I thought she was
just… having fun and experimenting. So I— I fucked Jeff,” Shauna stammers, catching the grimace
on Natalie’s face. And, well. The disgusted look on Natalie’s face has Shauna grasping at straws,
searching for any sort of reasonable explanation for her horrendous behavior. “He was— he was
the closest thing to Jackie. It was never about him. It was always about Jackie. But then, Jackie
finally told me that she loved me back, so we started dating… which I—”

“You’re such a fucking liar. That bullshit sob story isn’t gonna make me keep my mouth shut,”
Natalie proclaims, holding her hand up in Shauna’s face. “Do you actually think I believe any of
that bullshit? Like, I know that everyone on the team thinks that I’m some kind of massive
dumbass. But, hate to break it to ya, Shipman. I’m actually fucking not,” Natalie spits, brows
narrowing and eyes flickering with flames. “There is no chance in hell that you’ve boned Jackie.
She’s a straight-laced prude, literally up there with Laura fucking Lee. There is no way that the
Human Chastity Belt has let a woman anywhere near her boobs or her mouth.”

“Why the fuck do you think we sneak out of the cabin so much, then?” Shauna fires back, through
a hot rush of tears. Natalie’s face immediately flattens, as she listens intently to Shauna’s words,
with a renewed sense of enthusiasm. Shauna swears she can see the gears churning in Natalie’s
skull, cogs uncomfortably grating up against one another. “Do you think we like… dance around in
the woods, for hours? I mean, seriously? Do you think we just… go on long walks and talk about
how boring our lives have become?” Shauna wails, digging her nails into the sand beneath her.
“It’s blatantly fucking obvious what we’re doing, but none of you have picked up on it. Just
because me and Jackie are good at hiding it, doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. We’ve been hooking
up, for months. It’s the fucking truth, whether you believe it or not.”

Natalie’s eyes are now trained on Shauna’s face, blue eyes unblinking and unrelenting. She looks
absolutely astounded, with her lips parted and her eyebrows all screwed up. “You’re… serious?”
Natalie mumbles, earning a sharp head nod from Shauna. “About the whole hooking up with
Jackie thing. About you guys like… dating,” Natalie states, sounding less inquisitive and more
matter-of-fact. Shauna nods again, letting out this exasperated sigh and rubbing at her tear-streaked
cheeks. “Holy shit,” Natalie proclaims, leaning back. Her eyes are blown wide, as she begins to
laugh in clear-cut amazement. “The Jackie Taylor is… gay? Or, uh… gay-ish?” Natalie announces,
as Shauna instinctively hides her face in her hands. Of course, Shauna’s just managed to out Jackie,
in a desperate attempt to save herself. “Holy fuck. That’s kinda nuts. I mean… I get the vibe from
you. But, Jackie is super—”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Shauna spits, angrily tearing her palms away from her
face. Shauna’s eyes are narrowed on Natalie’s presently glowing features, allowing her to
internally seethe over the smug grin playing on Natalie’s lips. “I don’t give off a fucking vibe.
What the hell are you even talking—”

“Shipman, you definitely do. All you do is wear fucking flannel, dude. That’s pretty gay,” Natalie
mumbles, grinning widely. Shauna grits out a resoundingly loud huff, before firmly crossing her
arms over her chest. “I mean, c’mon. How many flannels did you pack for Seattle?” Natalie asks,
quirking up an eyebrow and wagging a finger in Shauna’s face. Shauna just sputters in response,
unable to conjure up a statement that might decimate Natalie’s accurate observations. “Right…
yeah. Way to prove my point,” Natalie says, light-heartedly.

“Whatever,” Shauna grumbles, latching her eyes closed. She tips her head to the ground, avoiding
the heat of Natalie’s gaze, as she utters a desperate set of words. “But... uh. Back to me and Jackie.
Can you just— just not tell anyone?” Shauna starts, scrunching her eyes even harder shut. She can
see flowers blooming behind her eyelids, eerily similar to the ones that inhabit the little clearing
that she and Jackie consistently frequent. “About uh— about Jackie being… maybe gay? And,
about her and I, uh—”

“Shauna. I’m done involving myself in your guys’ weird-ass drama. Don’t worry… I won’t say a
word to anyone. I won’t even tell Jackie about you and Jeff,” Natalie firmly states, prompting
Shauna’s eyes to burst wide open. And, Shauna expects to discover some hints of malice and
deception, hidden behind the vibrant hue of Natalie’s baby blues. But, much to Shauna’s shock, all
she finds are traces of pity and understanding. “You guys need to figure shit out on your own,
honestly. I’m not gonna start shit,” Natalie states, throwing her hands up and rising from her seat on
the ground. “But, I think you need to tell Jackie about you and Jeff. You might be dumb as fuck—
and you might’ve royally fucked up— but if she loves you as much as I think she does…” Natalie
trails off, peering into Shauna’s eyes with a smile. Natalie’s sudden switch-up is absolutely jarring,
prompting Shauna’s body to remain glued to the grains of sand pooling beneath her. “Then I think
it’ll all be fine.”

“But— but… why—” Shauna stammers, shaking her flustered face back and forth. Natalie’s
sudden shift in demeanor makes absolutely zero sense, especially since she has spent the last few
months practically preying on Shauna’s downfall. “I just don’t get why you’re suddenly so
understanding and—”

“Shauna, I have been looking for you everywhere. What the hell was that? And, Natalie. Fuck
you… for ditching me. You knew that I was looking for Shauna!”

Jackie.

Shauna abruptly swings her entire body around, watching as Jackie drunkenly sways toward her
and Natalie. She’s got this crooked half-smile plastered onto her face, as her white sneakers
continue to ungracefully sink into the coarse sand, covering the lake’s shore. And, of course, once
Jackie does manage to successfully march her way over to Shauna and Natalie… she immediately
begins bombarding them with questions.

“What the hell have you guys even been talking about? I’ve been looking for you both for like, an
hour!” Jackie slurs, prompting Shauna to bolt upright. Then, as soon as Shauna’s got both her feet
replanted on the ground, Jackie is clutching onto Shauna’s shoulder like a lifeline. She seems
positively hammered, so Shauna considers it a miracle that Jackie didn’t end up getting lost or
eaten alive. “Oh… let me guess,” Jackie murmurs, pursing her lips in faux-thought. “Sad people
music.”

Natalie’s gaze alternates between Jackie and Shauna, a knowing smile carved right into the corners
of her mouth. “Yeah, Jackie. You caught us,” Natalie murmurs, nodding at Shauna in unspoken
understanding. “Sorry for hoggin’ her, but I needed to talk about how much I miss Mazzy Star with
someone. And, uh… Shauna’s the only one in that cabin with alright music taste.”

Jackie tosses a hand up in mock offense, then uses it to fling some of her hair out of her face.
“Yeah… oookay,” Jackie teases, grinning up at Shauna, with gooey eyes. She pinches Shauna’s
cheeks with her free hand, scrunching her face up. “Way to admit that you’re both sad weirdos.”

Natalie nonchalantly shrugs, backing away a bit. “Uh-huh… guess so,” Natalie breezily murmurs,
languidly waving a hand up. “Alright, I’m gonna just… head back to the cabin. Kinda wanna see if
Lottie and Tai have killed each other yet,” Natalie frivolously tosses out, warranting a drunken
giggle from Jackie. “See ya two later,” Natalie adds, before tossing Shauna a covert wink. Jackie is
too busy gazing up at Shauna like she’s a shooting star, to even notice the gesture.
And then, Natalie is marching up the beach and right through the wall of trees, disappearing into
the web of green leaves and brown trunks. As soon as she is gone, Jackie loosens her grip on
Shauna’s cheeks, right before sauntering directly in front of her. “So…” Jackie whispers, snatching
one of Shauna’s hands. She absently plays with Shauna’s fingers, gazing up at Shauna with a
twinkle in her eye. “Dare or dare, babe.”

“I uh—” Shauna flusteredly says, squinting her eyes at Jackie in confusion. Jackie’s got her lip
sucked between her teeth, fingers grazing Shauna’s own. Like, Shauna has just barely regained her
composure from dealing with the Natalie thing, so Jackie’s antics are kind of concerning her.
“Dare… I guess?”

“I dare you…” Jackie whispers, letting go of Shauna’s hand. She immediately loops her arms
around Shauna’s neck, bridging their minuscule height difference by standing up on her tippy-toes.
“To kiss me.”

“Hmmm… was kissing Natalie not enough for you?” Shauna half-teases, although she’s kind of
curious to hear if Jackie did kiss Natalie— or not. Like, Shauna would be more jealous and
concerned, but she figures that they didn’t. If Natalie did kiss Jackie, she probably would’ve told
Shauna, especially after their fairly intimate conversation. “Huh, Jax?”

Jackie nudges her nose against Shauna’s, right as Shauna’s hands instinctively grasp her slender
waist. “Why the fuck would I kiss Natalie…” Jackie practically hums, coyly biting at her lip.
“When I could just… kiss you? You’re the only person I wanna kiss, dummy.”

‘Hey!” Shauna proclaims, mimicking offense. “I’m not that du—”

Jackie presses her lips against Shauna’s, effectively shutting her right up. Then, Jackie is instantly
pressing her body closer to Shauna’s, poking her tongue against Shauna’s lips. Of course, Shauna
grants Jackie access, allowing Jackie to slip her tongue into her mouth and deepen the kiss.

Then, after several minutes of heavy kissing, Jackie pulls away to take a deep breath. “Truth or
truth?” Jackie breathlessly asks, unwinding one of her arms from around Shauna’s neck. She
begins to pet Shauna’s hair with her newly-freed hand, twirling strands of it between her fingers.
“What’s it gonna be, honey.”

“Guess I’ll go with uh…” Shauna murmurs, shutting an eye. She pretends to ruminate over the
question, bobbing her head from side to side. Jackie girlishly giggles, which just makes Shauna feel
all warm and tingly. “Truth.”

“Did you um…” Jackie shyly starts, nervously nibbling at her lip again. “Did you mean what you
said in there, earlier? Like…” Jackie pauses, huffing out a shaky breath. “I uh… I guess I didn’t
realize that you counted what we did as losing your virginity. We didn't... y'know. Really talk about
it,” Jackie practically whispers, face blushing a bit. And, well. After a short-lived vacation, the
guilt is back, wreaking havoc on Shauna’s heart and stomach. “I just— I didn’t know that it
actually counted, like… when it’s between two girls. But, um. I’ve been thinking about it, and
uh…”

Shauna literally wants to scream, guilt pricking at her insides like an irremovable thorn. Part of
Shauna wishes that Natalie had told Jackie the truth, just so that she didn’t have to listen to this.
Shauna lost her virginity to Jeff in the least romantic way possible… end of story. And, of course,
Jackie now thinks that Shauna is some romantic genius. Jackie thinks that Shauna counts their
most recent rendezvous as her first time, but Shauna already had her first time with Jackie’s ex-
boyfriend, months prior.
 “I think that… well. It counts to me, too. Like, it felt like I was losing my virginity, when it was
happening. And I— I’m just so glad that we lost it to each other,” Jackie practically gushes,
spurring Shauna to shiver all over. She wants to cry— wants to scream, wants to drown herself in
the lake— so fucking badly, all of a sudden. Like, it is taking every ounce of Shauna’s willpower,
not to claw her own eyes out. “I love you so much. It was so perfect. Like, I thought a lot about it…
and I just can’t imagine my first time with anyone else but you,” Jackie proclaims, smiling so
brightly that it literally stings Shauna’s dreary eyes. “I’m literally so glad that I waited and didn’t
force myself to fuck Jeff, just to keep up appearances. It wouldn’t have been special or meaningful
if I did that. And it was special… with you. Plus, now we're like, linked forever. Kinda poetic...
don't you think?”

Shauna bites her lower lip and nods, stifling the sob that is currently tickling the sides of her throat.
Like, Shauna suddenly feels like Jeff himself has rammed one of his double-barreled baseball bats,
right into her stomach. Her entire body aches, while her mind whirls around in figure-eights.

Then, Jackie is tugging Shauna’s lethargic body closer to her again, trapping Shauna in a tight
embrace. She plants a kiss on the side of Shauna's head, effortlessly cradling the back of Shauna's
skull and massaging it a bit. But, well. Even though Jackie is being so cute and wholesome, Shauna
feels all icky inside. For the first time in a long time, Shauna feels like she is being strangled within
Jackie’s arms, instead of comforted. Even though she feels incredibly uncomfortable, Shauna tucks
her bright red face into Jackie’s shoulder anyway, in order to conceal the tears that have begun to
plunge down her cheeks.

Shauna’s stomach has been pestering her for weeks, but she swears that this is the first time she has
really felt the legitimate urge to hurl. Bile creeps up her esophagus, burning a blistering path up the
length of her throat.

But, Shauna chokes it down, just like she chokes down the words that she’s wanted to say to Jackie
for months.

I slept with Jeff, Jackie. I lost my virginity to your boyfriend.

Even with Natalie no longer hot on her trails, Shauna still feels the crippling weight of her guilt,
crushing her into a pulp. But, well. At least now, Shauna can tell Jackie the truth about her and Jeff,
whenever she wants to… right?

Chapter End Notes

Again, day later than i wanted to finish this. work is kicking my #ass. so i appreciate
the comments and how much u guys like this fic. makes me want to quit my little desk
job like asap...

sorry for being wrong on the eta. i am praying that work stuff slows down as soon as
fourth of july is over.

coming up next: the seance. jackie gets her period, and shauna realizes that she is
probably pregnant, which makes her act like a prudish freak, which makes jackie think
that something is uh... going on.
 il veut toujours du sang
Chapter Summary

“Hungry,” Lottie whispers, in between pants. And then, it’s like some switch in
Lottie’s brain has short-circuited, because she suddenly begins to cackle like some
kind of deranged maniac. The demonic sound surges through Shauna’s eardrums in a
rush, instinctively twisting her stomach up in knots. But, Shauna isn’t granted the
opportunity to reduce the ripples of unease that have begun to bubble in her abdomen,
because Lottie is then wheeling around to face her. She wastes no time in placing a
rough hand right on Shauna’s stomach, sinking her sharp nails into the thin fabric of
Shauna’s t-shirt. “Does she know?” Lottie spits, leering at Shauna with fiery eyes. She
claws at Shauna’s stomach even more, nails now biting through Shauna’s shirt and
cutting at her skin. But, well. Shauna’s so confused— so freaked, so completely lost—
that she doesn’t have the wherewithal to push Lottie away. She’s gaping at Lottie
dumbly instead, her entire body trembling of its own accord. “It’s in you already,
Shauna. Does Jackie know?”

Or: Shauna realizes she is pregnant, then has to sit through the most cursed seance... of
all time.

Chapter Notes

im sorry this took forever i s2g I've been cursed the last 2 weeks or something. i pulled
a chap 4 shauna and got mono a few days ago LMAO. i swear i have like one
functioning braincell and I've basically been cosplaying as grandpa joe from willy
wonka for the past week.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

June 30th, 1996

A pair of sharp fingernails frantically claw at Shauna’s back, chunks of chipped pink nail polish
flaking against the red and white pattern of her flannel. Shauna groans right into Jackie’s mouth at
the rugged sensation, before somehow managing to find a way to press her body even closer to
Jackie’s. She has Jackie pinned up against an old oak tree, kissing the lighter-haired girl roughly, in
a way that has their breaths mingling and their tongues tangling together. Shauna’s hands squeeze
Jackie’s ass, eliciting a moan to escape from Jackie’s swollen lips. That little sound makes
Shauna’s blood sing, causing her to ache even more.

It’s been less than a week since Natalie promised to keep Shauna’s dirty little secret to herself, but
it feels like that pact was made lifetimes ago. Like, Shauna swears she has not felt this easy-going
or relaxed in months, enabling her to replenish her drained energy supply with loads of vital fuel.
Sure, Shauna still feels guilty for allowing Jackie to believe that they lost their virginities to one
another, but the remorse she feels is no longer absolutely crippling. It feels like the weight of her
guilt has been temporarily lifted right off of her straining shoulders, allowing Shauna to breathe
easily for a little bit. But, well. Shauna recognizes that this feeling of complete freedom is fleeting,
mainly because she understands that she has to tell Jackie the truth eventually.

But, now, there isn’t the weight of a rapidly ticking clock weighing down on her conscious and her
heart. Natalie has freed Shauna from the catastrophic time bomb that she was bound to for two
weeks, slashing at all of the little red fuses and chords Shauna was tangled up in, throughout their
incredibly personal conversation. Now, thanks to Natalie’s mercy, Shauna can tell Jackie on her
own terms. By gifting Shauna with an unlimited amount of time to tell Jackie the truth, Natalie has
granted Shauna the opportunity to bolster her and Jackie’s relationship further. And, well. Shauna
predicts that she can build up their relationship’s defenses, strengthening their romantic bond so
much, that the Jeff thing barely crumbles one of their walls.

Plus, ever since Natalie announced her sudden surrender, Shauna’s had this absolutely ravenous
craving for Jackie. Like, of course, Shauna obviously always wants to kiss and touch Jackie. But,
now, Shauna swears she suddenly cannot physically control her lustful instincts around Jackie—
like, at all. She’s been hauling Jackie out into the woods— multiple times a day, for nearly a week
— just to shove her hands down Jackie’s pants, or her tongue down Jackie’s throat. So, yeah.
Shauna is hungry for Jackie legitimately all the time, waking up cuddled into Jackie each morning,
with this simmering heat already swirling in the pit of her stomach.

And, of course, their excuses for leaving the cabin have become less and less convincing. Shauna
knows it’s probably because of how feverish and desperate she has been to get Jackie out of that
cabin, just to pin her against a tree and have her way with her. Like, at this point, Shauna thinks that
the lack of stress coursing throughout her system has allowed her to build up the sex drive of a
fifteen-year-old boy.

Case in point: Shauna is now clutching Jackie’s hip with one of her hands, while snaking the other
one toward the front of her shorts. There is this tight coil dwelling low in Shauna’s stomach,
looping around her insides like a venomous snake. It makes Shauna feel like there are butterflies
living within her abdomen, that only rouse and flutter their wings when Jackie is around. So,
Shauna keeps up her insatiable pace, jolting her hips right into Jackie’s. And, well. Jackie initially
puts up zero opposition, focusing all of her attention on fisting a hand into Shauna’s hair and
licking further into Shauna’s mouth.

But then, right as Shauna begins fumbling with the button on Jackie’s blue shorts, Jackie is circling
Shauna’s wrist and effectively halting her mission. It’s the first time Jackie has resisted Shauna’s
advances in nearly a week, which prompts Shauna to pull away in both dismay and confusion. So,
Shauna quickly begins to study Jackie’s flushed face, searching for any visible signs of discomfort.

All Shauna discovers are a pair of half-lidded eyes and a smirk, unabashedly displayed on Jackie’s
rosy cheeks. She quickly drops Shauna’s wrist, allowing it to hang loosely at the darker-haired
girl’s side. And then, Jackie is combing her fingers through Shauna’s dark locks, tilting her head
and squinting at the downright perplexed look on Shauna’s face. But, well. Shauna believes that
her confusion is fairly valid, especially since Jackie looks almost as keyed-up and turned on as she
currently feels.

“Slow your roll, Shipman,” Jackie rasps, letting out this flustered little sigh. Shauna bobs her head,
immediately swooping in for another kiss. She can go slow— well, she can like, try to go slow— if
that’s what Jackie wants from her. Like, Shauna will honestly do anything, in order to get Jackie’s
mouth back on hers. But, of course, Jackie plants a hand on Shauna’s chest and lightly shoves her
away. “Unfortunately… I’m out of commission for a bit, sweetie. Above the waist is fair game,
though.”
“What?” Shauna croaks, brushing her fingertips against Jackie’s kiss-swollen lips. They’re bright
red and chapped at the edges, a bit puffy from Shauna’s roughness and sense of urgency. “Jackie,”
Shauna literally whines, eliciting a sympathetic pout to formulate on Jackie’s face. She reaches for
the front of Jackie’s shorts again, brushing her fingers over the buttons. Jackie gasps, tossing her
head back and whacking it against the aged tree trunk. Her reaction and the slackened look on her
face make Shauna’s head spin, lust and puzzlement merging into a thick brain fog. Like, Shauna is
so out of it, that she is physically unable to put two and two together. She literally has no idea what
Jackie means, which drives her to continue to stare at Jackie with a frown and doe eyes. “I just
really want to—”

“I know, Shauna. But Auntie Flo decided to come for a visit this morning… and this whole rag
situation really isn’t all that sexy,” Jackie begrudgingly murmurs, tucking a piece of Shauna’s hair
behind her ear. Shauna immediately lets out a puff of relief, beyond thankful that Jackie isn’t
randomly sick of her or something. Jackie is just on her period, for the first time since they’ve been
here. But, wait. Shauna and Jackie’s periods have nearly been in complete sync since middle
school, with Shauna’s period always coming a day or two earlier than Jackie’s. It’s odd that
Shauna’s hasn’t come yet, especially since hers is meticulously consistent. And, Shauna’s current
sense of alarm must not be proudly presented on her features yet, because then Jackie is
unabashedly reinforcing Shauna’s current crisis out loud. “Oh, did you not get yours yet?” Jackie
breezily asks, right as Shauna slowly backs a bit away. A wave of anxiety-riddled pressure rushes
right to Shauna’s head, while her stomach plummets to the forest floor. “I just assumed that you
did, because… y’know. Yours always comes earlier than mine. And I kind of… figured that you’ve
been so handsy with me because you got yours. Like, I don’t know. I thought you didn’t want me to
touch you, because of how gross the whole rag thing is. It literally feels like I’m wearing a
diaper.”

Shauna notices Jackie’s lips continuing to enthusiastically move, although everything Jackie says
after the word diaper is inaudible to Shauna’s ears. She just blinks at Jackie with a blank face,
while her entire body burns up like she’s been engulfed by an inferno. Shauna also swallows down
the newly-hardened lump in her throat, ignoring the way it painfully grates against her dried-out
esophagus. Shauna suddenly wants to bawl her eyes out, hoping that maybe she can drown in her
own fucking tears. So, yeah. The realization finally hits, piling onto Shauna’s chest like a ton of
bricks, crushing her lungs and forcing her to let out a few ragged breaths.

She’s been a hormonal and emotional wreck recently, without even really noticing it. Like, Shauna
is usually not all that quick to anger, but she’s been struck with so many sudden spikes of red-hot
rage lately. And, it’s not like Shauna’s tumultuous temper has really been aimed at one person,
either. Shauna’s whirlwind fury has been stirred up by a variety of different culprits, but the most
prolific ones have definitely been Natalie, Tai, and Mari. And, well. Recently, Shauna’s felt the
carnal urge to whack anything that moves, whenever someone says or does something she doesn’t
particularly like. She wanted to smash Natalie’s nose in, while watching her flirt with Jackie at the
lake. She wanted to deck Mari during Truth or Dare, after listening to Mari hint that she is not all
that desirable. She wanted to slap Tai across the face, while listening to her childishly bicker with
Jackie during Coach Scott’s gun training session.

But, Shauna hasn’t just been acting like some kind of hot-tempered monster recently, either. Her
sex drive has literally been shifted into high gear as of late, prompting Shauna to constantly seek
Jackie out. And, well. Initially, Shauna thought absolutely nothing of it. She figured her increased
libido was directly provoked by her newfound shortage of stress, which effectively allowed her to
focus less on Natalie’s bullshit and more on her relationship with Jackie. But, nope.

Shauna quickly links her recent whirlwind of emotions and abnormally late period together,
allowing all of the dreadful puzzle pieces to click right into place. She was way too hyperfocused
on chasing her own orgasm, to make sure that Jeff pulled out of her in time. And, well. Now that
Shauna is really thinking hard about that hazy night, she vividly remembers the euphoric look
painted across Jeff’s face, right as Shauna’s own orgasm hit her. Fuck.

Shauna is pregnant, with her girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend's bastard child. She is pregnant with Jeff
fucking Sadecki’s devil spawn, while trapped in the fucking wilderness. Shauna undoubtedly
signed her own death warrant, right after that stupid kegger. She is going to die while giving birth
to this baby, with absolutely zero medical assistance. Or, well. Shauna figures that she might die at
the scorned hands of Jackie, before she even gets the chance to try pushing this big fucking mistake
out of her stomach.

Of course, Jeff’s ugly post-nut face isn’t the only damning piece of evidence that supports
Shauna’s heartbreaking theory. Her boobs have been so heavy and sore, which— according to like,
all of Wiskayok’s health textbooks— is one of the earliest symptoms of pregnancy. Like, Jackie
managed to get Shauna off in record-breaking time, just by paying attention to her tender fucking
boobs. Then there is also her hyper-active temper and her increased sex drive, which are both clear-
cut indicators of hormone changes within her fucking body. But, the cherry on fucking top of this
shitty sundae, is undoubtedly Shauna’s late period. It’s the most damning piece of evidence, so
indisputable that Shauna cannot even attempt to lie to herself.

She is pregnant with Jeff’s baby, and Jackie is going to hate her forever.

And, Shauna’s brain is currently so exhausted and drained from all of the rushes of crippling
anxiety that keep barraging it, that she hardly even registers Jackie flipping them around. Now,
Shauna is the one with her back pressed against the tree, while Jackie’s fingers brush against the
front button of her jeans. The sensation has Shauna squeakily sighing, until Jackie pops it open and
immediately drops to her knees.

“Hey… hey,” Shauna frantically pants, feeling so dizzy that she is genuinely afraid she could
knock out at any given moment. Jackie appears none the wiser, grinning up at Shauna and hooking
her fingers into the waistband of Shauna’s jeans. And, although Shauna knows that this baby is
currently just a clump of cursed cells, she is still genuinely afraid that Jackie will somehow feel it.
She’s afraid that her and Jeff’s mistake will magically kick at the sides of her abdomen, clueing
Jackie in on Shauna’s affairs. Shauna is terrified that Jackie will somehow feel this thing shift
around in her stomach, although it is definitely still the size of an M&M. So, as soon as Jackie’s
fingers reach for her zipper, Shauna is rigidly batting her hand away. “I um… I think my period is
just a little late. Because of uh— stress,” Shauna lies, voice pitching so high she hardly even
recognizes it.

“Ok…” Jackie trails off, biting her lip and batting her eyelashes. Jesus Christ. “How about I help
you relax, then? Y’know… by finishing what we started a couple of weeks ago?” Jackie flirtily
whispers, prompting Shauna to rub a palm over her own cheek in despair. And, of course, Jackie
takes advantage of Shauna’s momentary lapse in focus. Her hands dart straight for Shauna’s zipper
again, fingers seizing the cold metal in seconds. Shauna’s synapses quickly snap back into place,
allowing her to push Jackie’s hand away, yet again. But, well. Jackie now looks downright
offended, frowning at Shauna with scrunched-up eyebrows. “I— uh. Do you like, not want me to?”
Jackie tentatively asks, dropping her hands to her lap. “You’ve been taking care of me all week…
and um. I want to make you feel as good as I did, when—”

“I just— I don’t want to risk it. In uh, one of our old Biology textbooks, it said sex can like… kick-
start your period,” Shauna weakly remarks, sounding so entirely unconvincing. It’s a load of
bullshit, but Shauna knows— from like, all the times she used to help Jackie study for their tests—
that Jackie never bothered to open her Biology textbook, preferring to let it gather dust on her
vanity. And, due in part to her extreme lack of knowledge in the Human Biology department,
Jackie appears to fall for Shauna’s baseless assertion. She lets out this amazed laugh, before
rebuttoning Shauna’s jeans for her. So, Shauna decides to play along, letting out a forced guffaw of
her own. “Plus, I would love to avoid having to shove a rag in my pants, for as long as I possibly
can.”

Jackie slowly pulls herself upright, holding onto Shauna’s hips, as she stands up. She scrunches up
her nose in faux disgust, right before playfully grinning at Shauna’s words. “Oh, that’s a great goal
to have. It literally sucks,” Jackie murmurs, pinching one of Shauna’s cheeks. “Hmmm, maybe you
should talk to Laura Lee. She can probably ask the man upstairs if you can like, skip your period
for this whole month,” Jackie jokes, although the comment makes Shauna’s face fall flat. If
anything, Shauna is about to get down on her own hands and knees, begging for God to send a
crimson tide her way. “It’s not like I can knock you up, so it would literally just be a blessing.”

Shauna lets out a painful chuckle at that statement, the corners of her eyes crinkling up in agony.
And, well. Her horrifically strange reaction to Jackie’s clear attempt at a joke must confuse Jackie,
because Shauna swears she can suddenly see all of the gears turning in Jackie’s pretty skull. “Yeah!
Uh-huh! You’re so… right! No pregnancy scares for us!” Shauna cheerily announces, in a
desperate attempt to demolish Jackie’s puzzlement. Somehow, Shauna’s sickly sweet voice does
manage to do the trick, spurring a cute little smirk to formulate on Jackie’s tanned face. Then,
much to Shauna’s chagrin, Jackie is closing her eyes and leaning in to kiss her. Shauna quickly
cranes her neck to the side, dodging Jackie’s lips in probably the least suitable way possible.

And, of course, Jackie immediately pulls back and gapes at Shauna’s face. Her eyebrows are
narrowed in irritation, flaring in clear-cut bewilderment, as she lets out a deep scoff. “Shauna, I was
just trying to kiss you. What the fuck was—”

“We should probably head back,” Shauna quickly supplies, voice cracking a bit at the end. She
pulls herself off of the tree, brushing right past Jackie and the astounded look on her face. And,
well. Usually, Shauna would be mindful of Jackie’s feelings and worries, but Shauna really cannot
think at all right now. Her nerves have been literally shot to hell at this point, leaving her to feel so
incredibly light-headed and disjointed. She also feels incredibly queasy all of a sudden, but now
Shauna’s not quite sure if that’s a symptom of her anxiety or the fucking baby leeching onto her
insides. “C’mon!” Shauna cloyingly announces, whipping around to face Jackie. And, of course,
Jackie is currently studying Shauna like she is some kind of newly uncovered specimen. The
dubious look on Jackie’s face has Shauna plastering a sickly sweet smile onto her own lips, right
before she forces herself to excitedly motion for Jackie to follow her. “Race you to the cabin?”

Unsurprisingly, Jackie quickly falls for the bait, letting out a huff and reluctantly marching toward
Shauna. She still looks downright pissed, but Shauna figures that Jackie will get over it eventually.

Like, Jackie will get over Shauna literally swerving her advances, eventually. But, well. Jackie is
never going to recover from all of the other fucked up shit, that Shauna has done. Shauna initially
assumed that Jackie could find a way to forgive her for boning Jeff, not once, but two fucking
times. However, with the sordid Sadecki-Shipman spawn sprouting in the pit of her stomach,
Shauna deduces that there is no longer a chance in hell that Jackie will ever be able to forgive her.
Like, this latest development in the Sadecki/Shipman/Taylor love triangle, has basically
demolished all of Shauna’s hope.

Shauna knows that she can’t hide the literal fucking baby growing inside her, forever. She knows
that her baby bump will give her up and clue Jackie in on her past transgressions, eventually. And,
Shauna knows that if Jackie somehow goes completely blind and fails to recognize her rapidly
expanding stomach, a literal child popping out of her hoo-hah would probably fill Jackie right in.
Like, Shauna knows that there is no chance of hiding this or lying about this, leaving her completely
powerless and absolutely fucked.

A sick part of Shauna hopes that this stupid baby will kill her, before it gets the chance to butcher
her relationship with Jackie.

As soon as she and Jackie make it back to the cabin, Shauna instantaneously goes into cover-up
mode. Her clever brain switches right into high gear, as she desperately scours for ways to
successfully hide her condition from Jackie. Like, Shauna’s Ivy League-level brain is currently
conjuring up so many potential ways to disguise her pregnancy, that she literally feels like she is
concealing a murder. So, after instantly concluding that the most effortless concealment strategy is
to just fake her period, Shauna quickly crafts a plan and puts it right into action.

She chops a piece of fabric off of one of Coach Martinez’s polo shirts, feeling a bit apologetic and
ashamed, over choosing to use a dead man’s shirt to cover up her mistakes. But, well. Shauna
reminds herself that Akilah selected this shirt to become the entire team’s faux period pad factory,
so her feelings of shame temporarily slip away.

But, as soon as she covertly shuffles past her teammates and toward the carcass of Natalie and
Travis’ most recent victim, Shauna's shame kicks right back into full swing. She gazes up at the
dead deer, currently hanging from the wooden rafters of the cabin’s undersized stable, in
sympathy. Shauna feels bad for slashing the deer’s neck, allowing its blood to inconsequentially
seep into the rusty bucket, strategically situated beneath its corpse. Like, Shauna knows that if the
Yellowjackets never crash-landed in this hell-hole, that deer would still be alive. It would most
likely be thriving, granted permission to remain completely oblivious to the human race’s
existence. But, well. Now that deer is getting all of the blood ruthlessly drained out of its body, so
that a bunch of teenagers and their Coach can eat the meat off of its bones, for dinner.

And, not only is that deer going to provide the Yellowjackets with a somewhat filling meal, but it is
also going to help Shauna lie to Jackie. So, Shauna quickly puts her plan into action, bending over
next to the rusty bucket. She grimaces as she dips her untainted rag into the congealed blood,
fighting the urge to gag at the metallic scent of the deer’s blood and the tarnished bucket.

But, right as Shauna begins to notice a thin layer of blood seeping into the thick fabric, the tell-tale
sound of a twig snapping has her springing upward. She instinctively hides the bloodstained rag
behind her back, face paling to a near ghostly shade of white, as she finds Tai standing in front of
her. She is gripping onto the ax in her hand for dear life, peering at Shauna with narrowed eyes.

“Sorry if I like, scared you. I was just gonna…” Tai slowly trails off, lifting the ax into the air. She
continues to uneasily goggle at Shauna, almost like Shauna is a seasoned criminal that has just
been caught in the act. Then, Tai cautiously sidesteps towards the mutilated tree stump next to the
stable, which she and Van have been using as a chopping block. “Chop up some more firewood.”

“Yeah, sure. No problem. You’re totally good,” Shauna breezily announces, rushing right past Tai
at breakneck speed. She doesn’t spare Tai another glance, opting to keep her eyes trained on the
ground in front of her, as she robotically marches back toward the fire pit.

Shauna finds Jackie sitting on a fallen tree log, right next to the dwindling blaze. Her head is tilted
downward, which causes her light brown waves to form a curtain around her tanned face. A few
pieces of hair directly obscure Jackie’s eyesight, so Shauna isn’t all that shocked as she watches
Jackie blow them right out of her face, with this cute little huff. And, after covertly fawning over
Jackie for a few seconds, Shauna’s eyes glide toward the object that seems to be holding all of
Jackie’s attention.
And, well. She is absolutely shocked to find her butcher’s knife, resting in Jackie’s dainty hands.
Shauna grins as she watches Jackie vigorously rub a smooth stone along its serrated blade,
apparently attempting to sharpen it for Shauna. Like, Shauna recognizes that it’s kind of weird, but
she honestly finds the gesture really cute and endearing. And, sure. Shauna uses that knife to
butcher up dead animals, which is like, the least romantic thing ever. But, Jackie’s selflessness and
desire to assist Shauna is romantic, even though she is inadvertently helping Shauna improve her
literal butchering technique.

Just then, Jackie lifts her head up, catching Shauna’s gaze and grinning right at her. She animatedly
pats one of her palms on the log, prompting Shauna to bolt right over to her. Shauna plops down
next to Jackie in a flourish, right before dramatically waving her blood-stained rag in the air. “Hey!
Thanks for jinxing me,” Shauna proclaims, as Jackie playfully knocks their shoulders together.
Then, Shauna unceremoniously launches the blood-covered fabric right into the pot of boiling
water, that Akilah has situated right above the blaze's dwindling flames. “God, having to wear that
thing fucking sucks.”

“Mhm. Tell me about it,” Jackie murmurs, biting back a grin. But, Shauna briefly tears her eyes
away from Jackie’s smiling face, just to meet Tai’s stunned gaze. She is now standing on the porch
with the ax still in her hand, grimacing and gaping directly at Shauna, like she’s got her all figured
out. The sight prompts Shauna to let her head hang low in shame, her skin uncomfortably itching
and crawling, as Tai’s piercing gaze shifts to her stomach. “But, at least we can shake Misty down
for some Motrin, together. I would definitely love some back-up,” Jackie quips, before abruptly
squeezing Shauna’s upper thigh. Shauna finds the gesture incredibly daring, especially since half
of their teammates are currently milling around outside. So, Shauna lifts her head up, meeting
Jackie’s emboldened gaze. “And, uh. Here. Figured I’d do you a solid and sharpen this bad boy,”
Jackie says, handing Shauna the knife. Then, she gently pats Shauna’s thigh instead of squeezing
it, scrunching up her nose in faux disgust. “I’m still gonna have to pass on watching you use it,
though. Me and deer guts still don’t really mix.”

“Thanks, Jax,” Shauna states, although the smile on her face makes it kind of hard to speak. Jackie
is like, inarguably the cutest person ever. She’s so loyal, so honest, so loving, so endearing. Shauna
knows, deep down, that she doesn’t deserve Jackie. Like, after all of the fucked-up shit she has
done, Shauna understands that she isn’t worthy of Jackie’s love or Jackie’s trust— in any shape or
form. And, the Sadecki-Shipman love-child currently developing in her stomach, is an absolute
testament to that fact. “I uh. Jackie…” Shauna shakily says, hand instinctively darting toward her
own abdomen. She tentatively places it directly over her lower stomach, right on top of her belly
button. And, well. Jackie apparently thinks nothing of the suspicious gesture or the pale look on
Shauna’s face, continuing to smile at Shauna from ear-to-ear. It makes Shauna’s stomach twist,
although Shauna isn’t quite sure if her urge to hurl is from guilt or from the baby leeching off of
her. “Jax. I need to tell you—”

“Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!” Mari suddenly wails, rushing out of the cabin in anguish. She is
anxiously scraping at her own back, squirming like there are a bunch of spiders crawling along her
body. “Please! Get it off!”

Shauna practically leaps right off of the tree log, rushing right toward Mari.”Hang on!” Shauna
reassures, as she pats down the back of Mari’s button-up shirt. She’s still fidgeting around, jerking
her head back and forth in discomfort. “Hey! Hang on,” Shauna repeats, right as Akilah hurries
over. They both begin to air out and pat down Mari’s clothes for her, searching for whatever is
causing Mari so much discomfort.

“I— I was standing under the trapdoor… and I swear I felt something crawl up my shirt. Please…
just get it off of me!” Mari practically begs, on the verge of tears. But, Shauna is unable to find a
singular insect, creeping across Mari’s tan skin or crawling beneath her clothes. “Please!”

"Mari. I don’t see anything,” Shauna soothingly states, prompting Mari to calm down a bit. Mari
peers back at the cabin’s wide-open front door in absolute fear, while frantically wringing out her
sweater. “There’s nothing there. I can’t find anything, I swear.”

“Hmmm. Must have been the ghost,” Tai snarkily announces, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Where’s Lottie?” Tai adds, dramatically swiveling her eyes around the group. Legitimately
everyone shrugs, completely unaware of Lottie’s current location. “Well, we should go find her!”
Tai cloyingly says, voice pouring out all saccharine sweet. She clicks her tongue, while Van frowns
at her in reprimand. “Maybe she can talk to him for us. Y’know, because Lottie spends so much
time shit-talking with a fucking—”

“Don’t say that,” Mari firmly states, sounding entirely offended. “That’s not fucking funny, Tai.
Don’t joke about shit like—”

“Wh— you guys!” Jackie states with a gasp, practically jumping off of the tree log. She stumbles
over toward Shauna and the rest of the girls with so much unbridled energy, that she almost trips
over her own feet. “Okay! Like, you guys…” Jackie trails off, glowing brighter than the sun. Tai
glances at Jackie uneasily, while the rest of the girls listen to her intently. “I just had a brainstorm,”
Jackie confidently announces, prompting an eye roll out of Tai. In sharp contrast, the statement
makes Shauna grin so fucking hard, that her cheeks sting. Like, Jackie is literally so excited over
this ‘brainstorm,’ that she is wiggling around and tapping her foot like a child. “We should have…
a seance.”

Tai and Van both let out matching guffaws, staring at Jackie like she has just grown two heads or
something. “That…” Tai starts, before pausing to let out another sardonic chuckle. “Is a terrible
idea. And, last time I checked, we’re not in middle school anymore.”

“But remember how fun this shit used to be?” Jackie murmurs, waving her hands around all
excitedly. Tai just shakes her head, gazing around the group for backup. “I mean, c’mon. We
literally played Truth or Dare last week… and that screams middle school. A seance is no—”

“Yeah, exactly. Truth or Dare was a complete shit show. Everyone fought and guilt-tripped each
other, for like an hour. Why the fuck would we do something like that again?” Tai sardonically
asks, cutting the air with her hand. “So, sorry. Hard pass on this stupid seance idea. I’m not in the
mood to listen to Lottie spew anymore ghost-related bullshit.”

“Ugh,” Jackie scoffs, rubbing at her face in anguish. “Tai, seriously? This could like, make things
better and less awkward,” Jackie states, prompting Tai to raise an incredulous eyebrow at her.
“Alright. So I know that the skeleton that used to live in the attic is like… a super sore subject for
some people,” Jackie announces, earning a few sidelong glares and scoffs. Shauna herself, can’t
help but wince at Jackie’s frivolously casual demeanor. “Ok, and like, rightfully so…” Jackie
assuages, eyes swiveling amongst the group. “But, I think that if we laugh and joke about it…
maybe we can all start to move past it. Or uh, shit. Him— move past him.”

“The occult is no laughing matter,” Laura Lee grimly declares, with a fully flat face. She sounds so
deathly serious, so downright offended. And, well. Her rigid demeanor warrants a synchronized,
communal eye roll from all of the other Yellowjackets. “I will not be participating in something
that revolves around summoning departed spirits. Sorry, but it goes against all my—"

“It’s not the occult, Laura Lee…” Jackie admonishes, with an exasperated huff. She pauses, for a
brief second, just to cross her tan arms over her chest. “It’s a game,” she then weakly finishes, right
as her eyes dart toward Shauna. And, of course, Jackie whips out her signature wounded puppy
look. She juts her lip out in a pout, tilting her head and going all gooey-eyed. “Come on, Shauna.
Tell them it will be fun.”

And, well. Shauna always falls for that sweet face, consistently struggling to say no to Jackie. Plus,
Shauna’s guilt has only exacerbated her desire to make Jackie chronically happy. If this seance is
this important to Jackie, then the Yellowjackets are going to fucking do it. Shauna refuses to let
Jackie’s child-like joy get absolutely wrecked, by Tai’s bullshit and Laura Lee’s lame excuses.

“Guys. We have literally nothing else to do,” Shauna starts, peering over at Jackie with a soft
smile. “And, I don’t know. Maybe this dead guy can give us all some… life advice.” And, yeah.
Shauna could really use some of that, right now.

The group bursts into synchronized laughter, matching grins manifesting on everyone’s faces. Even
Tai can’t help but smile at Shauna’s words, icy exterior finally thawing a little bit. And then, a
majority of the Yellowjackets bob their head in agreement, peering over at Jackie with renewed
interest. “Ok. So it’s settled,” Jackie states, beaming ear-to-ear. She claps her hands together in
finality, right as Laura Lee storms away in disdain. “Tonight. The attic…” she lowly whispers,
clearly for dramatic effect. “We make contact,” Jackie suggestively finishes, pouting her lips and
quirking up an eyebrow.

Although Tai and Laura Lee still seem incredibly irritated by Jackie’s plans for the evening,
Shauna decides that they can literally suck it up. Like, at this point, Shauna will do anything to
make Jackie happy, even if that happiness is incredibly fleeting. Shauna would literally haul ass to
Hell just to warm up a pizza, as long as Jackie asked her to. She would pull a Tarzan and climb
right up one of the gigantic ass trees surrounding them, if Jackie said it could be funny. Like,
Shauna would legitimately leap right off of a snow-covered mountain’s peak, if Jackie told her to.

It’s kind of sick and twisted, but after all of the fucked up shit Shauna has done, she legitimately
needs to please Jackie. Shauna needs to show Jackie how much she loves and cares about her, just
in case Jackie begins to second-guess Shauna’s devotion. She needs to prove to Jackie that their
romance is real and unbreakable, regardless of the literal fetus swimming around in her stomach.

And, well. Shauna hopes that Jackie’s pledge to forgive her for legitimately anything and
everything, also miraculously covers her unplanned pregnancy with Jackie’s own fucking ex-
boyfriend.

“No, no, no. Babe, not like that,” Jackie murmurs, waving her hand around. Shauna immediately
freezes, snatching the candle she literally just placed on the ground, right back up. Then, Shauna is
shrugging at Jackie all innocently, patiently waiting for Jackie to come over and show her what she
wants. So, Jackie shuffles across the attic on her knees, before looping her arms around Shauna—
from behind. She places her hands over Shauna’s own, guiding Shauna into placing the candle over
one of the weird symbols, etched onto the wooden floor. “This symbol thing is totally seance-y,”
Jackie heartily whispers, dropping a kiss on the sensitive skin beneath Shauna’s ear. Shauna has to
chew back a small whine at the gesture, right as Jackie decides to squeeze Shauna in her arms.
“Don’t ya think?”

“Uh-huh,” Shauna absently agrees, biting her lip. Jackie has begun to pepper light kisses along the
side of Shauna’s neck, which basically melts Shauna’s brain into a pile of liquefied butter. And, of
course, Shauna instinctively leans back and presses herself closer to Jackie. She reaches backward
and runs a hand through Jackie’s hair, while her back remains pushed up against Jackie’s front.
“Yeah.”

This girlish sound bubbles right out of Jackie’s throat, sweet and airy like Jenkinson’s Boardwalk’s
signature cotton candy. Then, Jackie is latching her lips around Shauna’s earlobe, lightly tugging
on it with her teeth. “Yeah?” Jackie croaks, earning a jerky head nod from Shauna in return.
Suddenly, before Shauna can even really react, Jackie is planting her palm on the middle of
Shauna’s chest. And, much to Shauna’s dismay, Jackie’s hand immediately begins to slide
downward. She’s inching toward the waistband of Shauna’s jeans, which means she is also moving
closer and closer to Shauna’s fucking baby-infested stomach.

But then, in an incredibly odd twist of fate, Natalie Scatorccio is rescuing Shauna from having a
literal tier-ten panic attack.

“Heyo! Shipman!” Natalie abruptly drawls, feet smacking against the rusted rungs of the attic
ladder. In seconds, Jackie is tearing her arms away from Shauna and bolting upright in an absolute
panic. And, right as Jackie manages to scramble to her feet, Natalie’s head bursts through the
trapdoor’s frame. She literally looks like a turtle peeking out of its shell, with the way her mop of
bleach blonde hair is currently poking right into the dusty attic. “I uh—” Natalie awkwardly says,
eyes flickering between Jackie’s anxious face and Shauna’s relieved one. Then, Natalie is climbing
the rest of the way up the ladder, clambering into the attic in clear disarray. “Sorry if I uh,
interrupted something. Trav and I just—”

Before Natalie can finish her sentence, Jackie is abruptly cutting her right off, by practically
launching herself at her. Then, Jackie is quickly wrapping Natalie up in an incredibly tight
embrace, squeezing her so hard that Natalie’s eyes legitimately bulge right out of their sockets.

“Natalie! Long time no see!” Jackie cloyingly rambles, voice so high that it literally grates
Shauna’s eardrums. She is clearly attempting to play it cool, in order to decimate any of Natalie’s
potential suspicions. But, well. Natalie already knows about their secret relationship, so Jackie’s
horrific acting chops aren’t all that necessary. “God, how was hunting? Did you guys catch
anything?” Jackie adds, clutching Natalie tighter. Shauna just rolls her eyes and stifles a laugh,
shrugging right at Natalie’s exasperated face. And, Natalie just mouths the word ‘sorry’ over
Jackie’s shoulder in response, grimacing at Shauna in clear-cut discomfort.

Shauna throws her a lopsided thumbs-up and a smile, right as Jackie pulls back a bit. She pushes on
Natalie’s shoulders, impatiently waiting for some kind of verbal response. “Yeah… uh. It was a
good trip. We caught a deer,” Natalie says, spurring an excited squeal out of Jackie. She finally
frees Natalie from the binds of her uncomfortably tight embrace, in order to clap her hands with an
absolutely absurd amount of frenetic energy. And, of course, the overjoyed look on Jackie’s face
has Shauna grinning from ear to ear. “And that’s why I came up here to get uh… Shauna,” Natalie
then weakly admits, gesturing a floppy hand in Shauna’s direction. “We need her to… y’know.
Hack its neck, like she’s a badass female Freddy Krueger. Or, uh, slash its throat like she’s—”

“Ok, ok!” Jackie frantically states, sounding a bit frazzled. Her eyes swivel between Natalie and
Shauna’s faces, as she sucks in a deep breath. “I don’t need all of the bloody details! Not big on
gore, thank you very much,” Jackie murmurs, playfully jabbing a finger into Natalie’s shoulder.
Then, Jackie is immediately spinning around, gazing down at Shauna’s crisscrossed form. “Go
help them, Shipman. I can finish up here, no worries.”

“You sure?” Shauna asks, raising an eyebrow. Jackie immediately responds with a confident nod
and a smile, spurring Shauna to hop up onto her feet. “Alright… but uh. If you need me, you know
where I’ll be.”

“Mhm,” Jackie hums, biting her lip a bit. She shoots Shauna a wink, provoking a faint blush to
creep onto Shauna’s pale neck. And, well. Natalie is still standing right behind Jackie, a knowing
smirk playing on the corners of her lips. She teases Shauna with a kissy lip, pursing her mouth up
in a pucker. Shauna bites the inside of her mouth, fighting the urge to laugh, right as Jackie
abruptly whips around to face Natalie. Of course, Natalie’s face immediately falls flat, skin paling
like she knows she has been caught. “And, Nat…” Jackie trails off, gazing between Shauna and
Natalie all over again. “We’re having a seance later, if you want to come. It’s an open invite,
obviously. So um… bring some guests. Travis? Javi? The dead deer out—”

“Alright… alright,” Natalie mumbles, with a laugh. Shauna shuffles past Jackie, sidling up beside
Nat. And, Jackie suddenly has this gaping smile on her face, almost like just seeing Natalie and
Shauna together pleases her. “I got it. I’ll make those losers come, jeez.”

“Awesome,” Jackie beams, practically oozing with excitement. She claps her hands together, before
unceremoniously gesturing toward the ladder. “Now go, losers. I have candles to set up, and a
seance ritual to plan.”

Natalie and Shauna share a look, before clambering down the tarnished ladder with twin huffs.
And, as soon as their sneakers land on the cabin’s rickety wooden floor, Natalie is leaning in to
whisper in Shauna’s ear. “Sorry for the cock block… or uh. What do you call it, if there’s no dick
involved?” Natalie teases, earning a light swat from Shauna in return. “Oh, fuck…” Natalie
murmurs, abruptly shifting further from Shauna. Then, Natalie dramatically juts a finger into the
air, almost like she’s just had some kind of light-bulb moment. “I got it… clam jam.”

Shauna nails Natalie with yet another light swat, airy chuckles overflowing from her mouth.
Natalie light-heartedly flips her off in reply, before sauntering straight for the flimsy front door. So,
yeah. Shauna will admit that it’s kind of weird that she and Natalie are so buddy-buddy now,
especially with all of the fucked-up shit that Natalie knows. Like, it’s odd how quickly Natalie and
Shauna’s dynamic has switched up, particularly because of all of the drama that has transpired.

But, well. Jackie seems to value her newly-minted friendship with Natalie a lot, for whatever
reason. So, of course, Shauna is more than willing to give Natalie a chance. If Jackie likes being
friends with Natalie, then maybe Shauna will too.

And, honestly, Shauna just can’t help but acknowledge how similar she and Natalie are. The
similitudes are literally transparent, to legitimately anyone and everyone with fully-functioning
eyes. They have the same music taste, the same introverted tendencies, the same grunge-ish style.
And, well. They’ve also got the exact same self-destructive tendencies, making them both corrosive
and earth-shattering powder-kegs.

Shauna wonders, then, if Jackie likes Natalie because she’s eerily similar to Shauna. Or, well.
Maybe Shauna is just being some weird, narcissistic freak.

“O keeper of this wild and hidden place…” Jackie whispers, all dramatically. Shauna’s got a
blindfold wrapped around her brown eyes, rendering her physically unable to see what Jackie is
doing. But, Shauna can still feel Jackie’s fingers grazing her forehead, running something warm
and gooey over her skin. “We anoint ourselves…” she continues, re-tracing an X with her
fingertips. “With blood and earth.” Oh… it's deer blood.

Then, Shauna feels and hears Jackie pulling away from her, footsteps clicking toward the other
side of the room. She fights the urge to remove her blindfold when she hears one of Jackie’s
patented scoffs, as well as a series of Natalie-centric chuckles. But, thankfully for Shauna, Jackie is
immediately clueing her presently blind ass right in.

“Trav. It’s literally just dirt and deer blood,” Jackie admonishes, with a huff. And, well. Shauna
can legitimately sense the exasperation rolling off of Jackie’s shoulders, even from her spot across
the attic. “Classic witch recipe. Relax.”

And, Travis must go along with it, because Shauna then hears Jackie clamber right onto the attic
floor. Then, Jackie is sucking in a sharp breath, before letting all of the stale air out of her lungs
with a loud hiss. A few ineligible snorts slice through the air, right as a string of rustling sounds fill
Shauna’s ears.

“O, spirit. We offer our sister as your instrument…” Jackie announces, prompting Shauna to get
into full-on seance mode. She dangles the pendulum between her fingertips, biting on the inside of
her cheek, to prevent a smile from gracing her lips. Jackie seems really serious about this whole
thing, so Shauna fights to stay solemn.

“It is I… Jacques,” Shauna announces, earning a wave of mismatched giggles in return. And, well.
Shauna doesn’t sound all that convincing, so she decides to put on a larger spectacle. She abruptly
clears her dry throat, before lowering her voice an octave. “Sorry... Jacques,” Shauna booms,
employing her deep voice. She pinches the pendulum’s string tighter, as yet another wave of
laughter flows through the cramped attic. “Ask your questions. The pendulum will answer them.”

“Okay…” Van murmurs, huffing out a deep breath. “Dear dead hunter guy…” Van trails off,
sounding oddly earnest. But, well. It is terminally comical Van, after all. “Did O.J. do it?”

Inharmonic laughter seeps through the dilapidated walls of the cabin’s attic once again, prompting
Shauna to shimmy her blindfold up a bit. She notices the annoyed look on Jackie’s face, before
immediately tugging the scrap of fabric right back down. “C’mon guys…” Jackie murmurs,
sounding slightly desperate. Shauna isn’t quite sure why Jackie suddenly seems so intent on
making this seance a serious thing, especially since she was cracking so many death-related jokes
earlier. “Real questions.”

“The veil is thin between our two planes,” Shauna murmurs, swinging the pendulum a bit for
emphasis. The rope is taut beneath her fingertips, while Shauna’s newly-sharpened butcher’s knife
dangles haphazardly from the end of it. “Ask what is in your heart.”

“Ooh! Ooh! I’ll go!” Mari excitedly announces, squirming a bit in her seat. “Is Principal
Berzonsky…” Mari starts, before sucking in a shaky breath. Shauna quickly deduces where Mari is
going with this one, primarily because of her penchant for gossiping. “Screwing Ms. DeWine?”

Shauna rolls her eyes beneath her blindfold, before absently swinging the rope around. A bunch of
scattered and mismatched oohs overload her eardrums, while the pendulum continues to sway
through the air. “It is certain,” Shauna firmly announces, earning a bluster of laughter and claps.

“Hey! Hunter guy… if we hadn’t crashed,” Akilah excitedly murmurs, slapping her own thighs a
bit. “Would we have won Nationals?”

A faux wince creeps onto Shauna’s face as she swings the pendulum, shaking her head in response
to Akilah’s question. And, well. Jacques’ answer to that particular question isn’t all that well-
received, if the round of feverish boos that fill Shauna’s eardrums is of any indication.

“Ok! Ok! Guys, focus. Focus,” Jackie commands, instantaneously quelling the uproar of boos.
“Next question?” Jackie asks, right as Shauna hears a bunch of hands dart into the air. “Misty? You
go!”

Of course, Misty huffs out this resoundingly loud breath, almost like she has been patiently
awaiting this moment for years. “Dear Spirit…” Misty murmurs, clapping her hands together a bit.
“I need to know the truth,” Misty basically squeaks, sounding like a lovestruck schoolgirl. “Does
the person I like… like me back?”

Shauna swings the pendulum again, but she cannot resist the sudden urge to lift up her blindfold
and peek at Jackie. She finds her already gazing at Shauna, with mushy eyes and a scrunched up
nose. And, well. Shauna grins like a complete idiot at the adorable look on Jackie’s face, before her
eyes swivel to the left of Jackie. She finds Tai sitting next to Van, even after all of her staunch,
anti-seance demonstrations.

But, Shauna immediately yanks her blindfold right back down, as Misty lets out a series of shrill
squeals. The sound literally makes Shauna’s head pulsate, scraping against her brain like
sandpaper. And, Shauna’s irritation only grows larger, as Misty begins to fidget around in her seat
and practically scream. “Is that… is that a yes? I can’t tell,” Misty inquires, sounding like a literal
middle schooler. She hears Van let out a hum, as well as the sound of a few heads jostling in
response. “Oh my God! He likes me!” Misty squawks, spurring Shauna to visibly wince. Like,
Shauna can literally picture the creepy smile that is most likely plastered across Misty’s face,
presently.

“Okay. Congrats Misty! But um, next question?” Jackie declares, prompting the squeals and
giggles to die down a bit. Shauna then hears a hand slowly drift upward, the rustling sound of a t-
shirt pervading within the quiet attic. “Yeah! Javi, you go!”

“Are we all gonna die out here?” Javi numbly asks, gunning straight for the point. And, Jesus. The
silence that falls over the attic is so resoundingly loud, that all Shauna can hear is the wind
whirling outside and the clicking of eyelids. Like, Shauna doesn’t have to remove her blindfold to
recognize that everyone is currently blinking at Javi, in total shock. And then, Shauna can suddenly
feel the pendulum swaying in her grasp, although she has remained frozen this entire time. Shauna
thinks it's kind of weird that this somewhat heavy knife is now rocking around of its own accord,
especially since she knows that she didn’t swing it. But, well. A huge gust of wind must’ve
knocked it around… or something.

“Okay… an eight?” Van suddenly asks, right as a gust of wind hits the window with a loud clang.
A deep wolf howl then reverberates through the woods, causing Shauna to instinctively jerk, just a
little bit. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s not an eight,” Mari murmurs, sounding a bit dazed. “It’s an infinity sign.”

“Yeah, ok… Aristotle,” Van teases, with a giggle. “Care to tell me what that—”

A sharp screech pierces through the stale air, so shrill that Shauna swears it could probably shatter
a sheet of glass. She wrings her blindfold right off of her face in a haze, eyes immediately widening
at the chaos erupting around her. The attic window flies open, allowing a howling gust of wind to
blow out all of the candles. And, well. Lottie is apparently the one responsible for the earsplitting
wail, if the way she is currently rocking back and forth on the attic floor, is of any indication.

Lottie continues to wheeze and moan, her entire body trembling erratically. She looks and sounds
like she is hyperventilating, chest haphazardly heaving and panting. Van and Akilah are already
rubbing at Lottie’s shaky shoulders, fear splattered across both of their faces. “Guys… something
is really wrong with her!” Van murmurs, absolutely frazzled. Lottie continues rocking back and
forth, face paling and eyes twitching. She literally looks like she is auditioning for The Exorcist,
leaving everyone to gape at her in shell shock. Even Tai looks absolutely spooked, eyes wide and
flashing with traces of horror.

“It wants…” Lottie absently mumbles, in between sharp breaths. She looks and sounds like she is
in a completely different dimension right now, with a vein popping out of her forehead and her face
twisting up into a scowl. And then, Lottie’s eyes are bulging out of their sockets, prompting
Shauna to practically sprint over to her. “It wants! It wants!”

“Misty! What do we do?” Van frantically asks, goggling at Misty with pleading eyes. Of course,
Nurse Misty then instantly rushes over to Lottie, placing her palms on her heaving back. She rubs a
hand up and down the expanse of it, before shifting around to shut the window.

“It wants! It wants!”

“Lottie…” Mari practically sobs, voice coming out all stuffy with mucus. She slides backward and
away from Lottie, her face contorted in a fearful grimace. “I swear to God if you’re just fucking
with us…”

“I think she’s like… possessed. Or something,” Akilah shakily states. She rubs at Lottie’s
shoulders a little more frantically now, her own fingers trembling a bit.

“Listen, Lottie!” Shauna rigidly declares, snapping her fingers in front of Lottie’s face. She hardly
even reacts, dark eyes still trained on the attic floor, as she continues to mutter nonsensically.
“Lottie!” Shauna tries again, shaking her shoulders a bit this time. “Sweetie, what’s going on?
What is ‘it?’ And what does ‘it’ want?”

“Hungry,” Lottie whispers, in between pants. And then, it’s like some switch in Lottie’s brain has
short-circuited, because she suddenly begins to cackle like some kind of deranged maniac. The
demonic sound surges through Shauna’s eardrums in a rush, instinctively twisting her stomach up
in knots. But, Shauna isn’t granted the opportunity to reduce the ripples of unease that have begun
to bubble in her abdomen, because Lottie is then wheeling around to face her. She wastes no time
in placing a rough hand right on Shauna’s stomach, sinking her sharp nails into the thin fabric of
Shauna’s t-shirt. “Does she know?” Lottie spits, leering at Shauna with fiery eyes. She claws at
Shauna’s stomach even more, nails now biting through Shauna’s shirt and cutting at her skin. But,
well. Shauna’s so confused— so freaked, so completely lost— that she doesn’t have the
wherewithal to push Lottie away. She’s gaping at Lottie dumbly instead, her entire body trembling
of its own accord. “It’s in you already, Shauna. Does Jackie know?”

“Cut the fucking crap, Lottie!” Jackie roars, marching toward her with steam coming out of her
ears. She snares Lottie’s wrist and practically wrenches her hand off of Shauna’s stomach, glaring
down at her with her eyebrows narrowed. “This isn’t a fucking game… like, literally no one is
laughing. And I— I swear to God,” Jackie rasps, jabbing her finger straight into Lottie’s forehead.
“If you touch Shauna one more fucking time, I’ll—”

“Il veut toujours du sang. Il a faim de plus de sang. Répandre. Répandre. Répandre,” Lottie
chants, voice dropping an octave. She wraps her arms around her knees, rolling back and forth, in a
trance-like state. Jackie immediately backs away, throwing her hands up as a sign of retreat. And,
Shauna’s stomach instantly drops as Lottie barrels on, anxiety and dread needling right at her
blood-filled veins. “Il a besoin de manger, donc nous pouvons manger. Donnez-lui du sang.
Donnez-lui du sang.”

“Guys… is that. Is that… French?” Van slowly asks, voice wavering a bit at the end. She gapes
right at Lottie, before allowing her worried eyes to swivel around the rest of the group.

“Ok… but, uh. Since when does Lottie speak French?” Nat inquires, face falling completely flat.
Lottie continues mumbling to herself, grinning like Jack fucking Nicholson in The Shining. “I’m
really not likin’ the looks of this, guys.”

“Wait! Jackie, Jackie!” Shauna bumbles, placing a hand on Lottie’s back. Shauna knows that it is a
graduation requirement at Wiskayok, to take at least three language-oriented classes. And, well.
Although Shauna chose to fill that requirement by taking AP Spanish courses, Jackie decided to fill
hers by taking French classes with Lottie. She always raved about how even the most basic words
sounded sexy and romantic in French, basically implying that she only took those fucking classes to
learn how to flirt in a more seductive language. “Wasn’t she in all of your French classes?

“I mean yeah but she— she,” Jackie stammers, throwing her hands up in bafflement. Her eyebrows
are knitted together, forcing her forehead to crinkle up in a clear-cut stupor. “She fucking sucks at
French. Like, I’m pretty sure she failed out of French II, and had to take it over the—”

“Oh my God, I don’t need a run-down on Lottie’s report card!” Mari spits, glaring at Jackie in
vexation. She lets out this squeaky scoff, voice pitching higher in terror. “Just… translate! What
the fuck is she saying, Jackie?”

“I don’t know!” Jackie cries, right before reaching out and grasping Lottie’s shoulders. She shakes
her a few times, desperately attempting to snap Lottie right back into reality. But, of course, Lottie
just continues to act like she’s fucking possessed. “God! I suck at French too, alright!” Jackie
admits, earning a wave of groans and sighs from the group. Shauna instinctively runs her free hand
over her face, secretly grimacing behind the veil of her sweaty palm.

“Well, damn it, Jackie!” Van bellows, right eye twitching at the blank look on Jackie’s tan face.
Then, Van is smacking the ground with her fist, huffing and puffing like she just ran a bunch of
suicide sprints. “Try fucking not to!”

“Le sang doit être versé. Nous devons choisir qui saignera ensuite. Il a besoin d'un sacrifice,
sinon,” Lottie pants out, while continuing to sway. She is still staring blankly at the floor, eyes
devoid of legitimately any brio. “Il a besoin de sang, il faut lui donner du sang tout de suite.
Maintenant maintenant. À l'heure actuelle.”

“Uh. I think she’s saying that he— or um, maybe it— wants something?” Jackie flusteredly says,
waving her arms around in distress. “It wants… blood? I— I think she’s saying… blood?”

“That’s so not the word I want to be hearing right now!” Mari whines, jutting her palms into her
eye sockets. She’s rubbing at her eyes so roughly, that Shauna swears they might literally start
bleeding. But, well. Maybe that’s exactly what Lottie wants. “God! What the fuck!”

“Je vais verser du sang, tout de suite. C'est mon tour,” Lottie gasps out, abruptly standing up. She
stumbles toward the attic window with as much grace as a drunken zombie, sluggishly batting Van
and Shauna’s hands away. "Je vais le faire ici. À l'heure actuelle. Ici. Ici. Le sang sera versé, ici
même,” Lottie proclaims, tapping the window with her fingers. She’s goggling at the foggy glass, a
smirk playing at her lips.

“Shit… so um, more blood stuff? I don’t know,” Jackie murmurs, sounding remarkably
unconfident. “Wait, wait. I think she said ‘here.’ Like… there’s blood here,” Jackie tacks on,
pointing at the window. “Maybe she’s talking about the window, or maybe—”

“There’s blood where… Lottie?” Van nervously inquires, prompting an eye roll and an exasperated
scoff out of Tai. “In here… or out there?”

“Do you really have to fucking encourage this, Van?” Tai caustically spits, crossing her arms firmly
over her chest. Van reels around and raises a finger at Tai in reprimand, before immediately
shifting her attention back to Lottie. “Are you serious, right now? Guys, if we just ignore her, she'll
cut the dramatics and—”
“You must spill blood…” Lottie shakily reveals, an absolutely despicable smirk tugging at her lips.
She’s sliding her palms up and down the window’s glassy exterior, humming and panting to
herself. “Or else.”

“Or else… what?” Jackie asks, tremors filling her vocal cords. She glances at Shauna in pure
terror, eyes glazed over and wide like saucers. “Hey, Lottie? What’s going to happen if—”

Lottie abruptly whips her head backward, before instantaneously slamming it right through the attic
window. The glass shatters with a loud crack, blood-covered shards spilling onto the attic floor.
And then, an uproar of screams and cries immediately echoes off of the attic’s walls, shaking the
deteriorated wood like an earthquake. Lottie whips right back around, facing the group with her
blood-covered forehead. Shauna thinks she might gag, watching in horror as Lottie presses her
fingers against the blood oozing out of her flesh. A few pieces of glass protrude from the wound,
but Lottie appears numb to the pain they are most definitely causing.

She continues to jab at the gash on her head as she plunges to her knees, hitting the floor with a
loud thump. Then, Lottie lets out a series of ear-piercing howls, smearing the blood all around her
face with her fingertips. Shauna instinctively bends down beside Lottie, right as Van and Akilah
also do. They all attempt to console her, whispering desperate reassurances to her and frantically
rubbing at her stiff shoulders.

And, well. Shauna is so hyper-fixated on the real-life reenactment of Carrie going on in front of
her, that she barely even catches Laura Lee storming into the attic. “The power of Christ compels
you! Begone, Satan!” Laura Lee screeches, holding a Bible in her hands. She shakes it in front of
Lottie’s face, prompting Van to shake her head and clench her jaw. “Lottie!” Laura Lee wails,
voice quivering. Her fingers tremble around the book, as tears begin to play at the corners of her
eyes. Jesus Christ— like, both figuratively and literally. “Lottie, stop! Please just—”

Laura Lee hurls the Bible right at Lottie, decking her straight in the boobs. And, well. Shauna
winces in sympathy, her own boobs hurting at the sight, right as Lottie begins to swivel her head
around the room. “Ow!” Lottie wails, rubbing at her chest. She stares at the confused looks on
everyone’s faces in a daze, before her eyes land right back on Laura Lee. “What the hell was that,
Laura Lee?”

Legitimately everyone goggles at Lottie with bug eyes, jaws dropping straight to the dusty floor.
But, of course, Mari’s big-ass mouth is the only one capable of formulating words right now.
Typical. “Seriously?” Mari blurts out, eyes on high alert. “What the motherfuck just happened?”

Shauna watches closely as Lottie reaches up to her forehead in a daze, slowly running her fingertips
over the sheen of blood coating her skin. She then whips her hand right back down, peering at the
sticky red substance in utter disarray. Lottie is acting like she has no idea what just happened,
almost like she really was possessed by the spirit of that weird, dead hunter guy.

Jacques is honestly like, the most typical French name of all time. So, maybe Shauna jinxed Lottie,
by selecting that stupid fucking fake name. Maybe some like, weird French-speaking demon bolted
into her body, because of Shauna’s frivolity. Like, honestly, that is the only somewhat reasonable
explanation for what Shauna just witnessed. And, well. That theory definitely is not all that
believable, either.

And, like a moth drawn to a flame, Shauna’s eyes then instinctively flit to Jackie’s. She is staring at
Shauna with a wary look on her face, eyebrows wrinkled and lip sucked between her teeth. The
gears are clearly turning in Jackie’s head, which compels Shauna to begin to think about the words
that Lottie aimed directly at her, a little bit earlier.
It’s in you already, Shauna. Does Jackie know?

Shauna is quite positive that Jackie doesn’t know about the baby taking up residence in her body,
especially since she has been doing everything in her power to keep Jackie away from her stomach.
So, yeah. The questions suddenly lingering at the forefront of Shauna’s mind, have absolutely
nothing to do with Jackie. Like, there is no way that Jackie knows, especially since nobody but
Shauna herself knows about her skipped period.

But, well. Shauna’s begun to wonder if Lottie really can speak to the dead. She wonders if
somehow, the dead cabin guy can sense when a stupid and reckless teenage girl ends up knocked
up, with the child of the worst potential candidate for the Father of the Year award.

“Hey. Don’t you think we should go up there, and uh. Y’know…” Shauna whispers, right into the
shell of Jackie’s ear. She is propped up on one elbow, peering down at the frown, now playing on
Jackie’s lips. “Sleep in the attic, with Tai?”

Of course, right after the weird string of events that occurred during the seance, basically everyone
has been jumpy and on edge. And, well. Right when everyone began to tuck themselves into their
sleeping spots, this loud-ass creak shot right out of the attic. It freaked legitimately all of the
Yellowjackets out, except for Tai. After hearing a bunch of gasps and whimpers, she went on this
huge tirade about everyone overreacting. She ranted about how Lottie has been acting insane for
weeks, before storming right up the ladder. Like, Tai did ask if anyone would go sleep with her up
there, but obviously there weren’t many eager takers.

But, now that Shauna’s really thinking hard about it, she figures that she and Jackie owe it to Tai
and the rest of the girls to sleep up there. Like, the whole seance thing was their idea, so they
should be the ones to prove to the rest of the Yellowjackets that the attic isn’t legitimately haunted.

Well, Shauna thinks that way, but Jackie clearly does not.

“In the attic?” Jackie incredulously inquires, with a scoff. She tucks her elbow behind her head,
squinting up at Shauna, with sleepy eyes. “No fricken’ way, Shauna. We are staying down here.”

“Well, she shouldn’t be up there by herself. Jackie… c’mon,” Shauna fires back, earning a head
shake in response. Jackie then shrugs up a shoulder, prompting Shauna to roll her eyes a bit. Of
course, Jackie is being stubborn, about literally the most inconsequential thing… ever. Like, God
forbid they do what Shauna wants, for fucking once. “Like, if it weren’t for us—”

“Woah, hey…” Jackie murmurs, reaching out her other hand. She tucks a stray piece of hair behind
Shauna’s ear, pouting at her in slight offense. “Shauna whatever the fuck happened tonight, was
not because of our dumb seance,” Jackie states with a huff, rolling her eyes. “We are not
responsible for that shit show… Lottie is.”

“Okay, but—”

“No buts, Shauna. You’re staying down here with me. End of story,” Jackie commands, voice terse
and biting. It makes something inside of Shauna snap, hearing Jackie speak to her like she’s a
disobedient dog. And, well. Shauna’s newfound feelings of irritation only increase, when Jackie
decides to fling her other arm over Shauna’s stomach. “C’mere. Let’s just go to bed, Ship—”

“I’m going upstairs,” Shauna abruptly declares, tearing Jackie’s arm right off of her. She clambers
right out of her and Jackie’s makeshift bed, batting Jackie’s voracious hand away from her arm. Of
course, Jackie keeps trying to tug Shauna back into their bed, to absolutely no avail. So, Jackie
resigns herself to whining, watching in horror as Shauna snatches her pillow and her blanket in a
flourish. “You’re free to join me if you want,” Shauna coldly states, right as Jackie scrambles to sit
up a bit.

Jackie immediately reaches a hand out and sinks her nails into Shauna’s wrist, yanking desperately
at her arm. “Shauna, please. You know I can’t sleep without you. I’ll get cold,” Jackie whines,
whipping out the patented puppy-dog face. She juts her lip out in a pout, gazing up at Shauna
beneath lowered eyelashes. “C’mon, Shipman. Don’t you wanna cuddle with me?”

But, nope. Although that maneuver usually works wonders on Shauna, she refuses to fall for it, this
time. She wrings her hand out of Jackie’s grasp, before pointing to the attic. “We can cuddle up
there. Or… you can just stay down here. I’m sure you can borrow an extra blanket if you get
cold,” Shauna cloyingly remarks, prompting Jackie to gape at her like a woman scorned. “It’s your
choice,” Shauna states, before marching right toward the rusty ladder.

Shauna doesn’t spare Jackie another glance, even though she can feel the heat of Jackie’s gaze,
currently burning a gaping hole right into the back of her skull. And, well. As Shauna creeps up the
rusty rungs of the ladder, she finds herself growing even more pissed off at Jackie. Like, fuck. Is
Jackie really mad at Shauna for doing the right thing, for fucking once in her life? It’s not Shauna’s
fault that Jackie has resigned herself to acting like a whiny child, forcing Shauna to clean up their
combined mess, all on her own. But, whatever. Shauna will do damage control for Jackie, because
God knows she has become a seasoned veteran at it.

And then, as soon as Shauna makes it into the attic, Tai is bolting upright in her make-shift
sleeping bag. Tai is staring at Shauna in disbelief, almost like she cannot believe Shauna is actually
there. It’s almost like the sight of Shauna standing there— with her sleeping supplies, sans Jackie
Taylor— is a more stunning sight, than Lottie bashing her head through a window.

“What… what are you doing?” Tai dumbly asks, right as Shauna begins to pad over.

“I was uh, just gonna keep you company…” Shauna trails off, peering at Tai with a wavering
smile. Tai shoots one right back, eyes softening a bit. “If that’s, y’know. Ok with you?”

She nods her head in response, so Shauna begins to lay out her sleeping stuff, right beside Tai’s
sleeping spot. Then, after tossing her pillow and sheet onto the floor, Shauna plops down onto her
faux mattress. She pulls her dusty blanket up to her chin and sinks her head into her pillow, letting
out a deep sigh of relief. The sound reverberates through the wooden walls, briefly cutting into the
stale silence.

But then, Tai is asking Shauna a question, that causes her anxiety to spike higher than it ever has in
her entire lifetime. “How far along are you?” Tai cautiously asks, with absolutely zero malice
behind her words. Shauna’s head suddenly feels all fuzzy, even as she swivels it to face Tai, instead
of the ceiling. She then sucks in a shaky breath, peering right into the depths of Tai’s sympathetic
eyes. “You uh— you are pregnant, right?”

“You won’t tell anyone, will you?” Shauna starts, fighting the urge to cry. It just, suddenly feels
real, all of a sudden. Like, Shauna has basically been looking for ways to hide her pregnancy all
damn day, but it’s not like her make-shift disguises can stop this baby from eventually popping
right out of her. Shauna is fucked, although she’s done a pretty bang-up job at avoiding that
realization, until now. “Like… can you please not tell Jackie?”

“I promise I won’t tell anyone,” Tai quickly supplies, rubbing a gentle hand over Shauna’s
shoulder. Shauna leans into it, feeling the tears beginning to prick right at the corners of her
eyelids. “Especially Jackie,” Tai adds, wiping at Shauna’s eyes for her. She frowns in sympathy,
 biting her tongue, right before delivering the most damning string of words. “But uh…if we're
stuck out here long enough, I have a feeling it'll come out. One way… or another.”

Shauna juts her palms into her teary eyes, fighting the carnal desire to wail. She wants to screech
like Lottie did earlier, leaving her lungs all scratchy and stuffy. And, honestly, Shauna also wants
to just… smash her head through a glass window.

Legitimately anything and everything sounds more ideal, than ever allowing Jackie to find out
about this.

Chapter End Notes

do not fear!! i did not forget the necklace exchange or shaunas little speech. i didn't
think it made sense in this fic yet, since jackie's kind of happy rn and active within the
group. I'm sorry, but she has to be miserable for both of those things to happen. its
coming tho, promise.

made a twitter where ill be posting updates on potential chap ideas and updates while
I'm writing so I'm not just dropping these like bombs. its: checkeredvans3 if interested.

coming up next: jackie and shauna begin to discuss the future, which results in shauna
making an incredibly rash and dangerous decision.
 dreams and harsh realities
Chapter Summary

“So, ok. Let me get this shit straight,” Jackie spits, puffing up her cheeks in
annoyance. She lets out this little scoff, gazing at Shauna with her lips stretched into a
taut line. “You don't wanna do anything, because you're tired? And, you’re tired,
because you can’t fall asleep in that creepy fucking attic? Y’know, the attic that I
specifically asked you not to sleep in? Is that correct?” Jackie sardonically inquires,
crossing her arms over her chest. And, Jackie looks so goddamn intimidating right
now, that Shauna instinctively bows her face down and nods. “Right… yeah. I think
maybe the next logical step is to— I don’t know— come back downstairs, and sleep
next to your girlfriend? Unless you like, enjoy sleeping up there with all the dead
spirits and Taissa fucking Turner, more than you like cuddling with—”

Or: Shauna begins to really freak out over the whole pregnancy thing, after a
nightmare and a conversation with Jackie.

Chapter Notes

tw: the abortion scene is in this, but I'm hoping its not too graphic. i just described the
pain after tai pulls the underwire out, but not in a lot of detail. shaunas nightmare also
shifts into something pretty violent, too, so yeah.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

July 7th, 1996

Shauna is laying on the attic floor with her knees drawn up, drenched in layers upon layers of cold
sweat. These absolutely crushing waves of searing hot pain lance right through Shauna’s lower
abdomen, causing her to writhe and scream in discomfort.

“Shauna. Baby…” Jackie murmurs, lacing her fingers with Shauna’s. She uses her other hand to
smooth out Shauna’s damp waves, brushing wayward pieces away from her sticky forehead.
”Breath with me,” Jackie legitimately commands, peering down at Shauna with worried eyes. Her
voice comes out steady and sure, vocal tone eerily similar to the one that she used to always
employ on the soccer field. Jackie is practically dripping with team captain-y confidence right now,
so it’s kind of oddly fitting that she has apparently decided to wear her entire Yellowjackets get-up.
And, well. Shauna instinctively abides by Jackie’s order, just like she always used to listen to her
play-calls on the turf. “That’s it, sweetie…” Jackie coos, smiling a bit in adoration. “There we go…
there we go.”

And then, Misty fucking Quigley just like, materializes right out of thin air. Like, Shauna has no
idea how long she’s been there, but Misty is currently sitting right in front of her slightly open hips.
There’s a blanket draped over Shauna’s lower half, which Misty unceremoniously dips her invasive
hands right beneath. “Okay!” Misty murmurs, using one hand to hold back the blanket and the
other to push her glasses back up her nose. “It’s crowning!” Misty giddily announces, glowing like
the summer sun. She looks absolutely enthralled and amused, seemingly blessed to be granted the
opportunity to fill the mock doctor role. “Push!” Misty enthusiastically proclaims, patting Shauna’s
thigh. “Push, Shauna! Push!”

Shauna bears down hard, allowing a sizzling ache to boil throughout her entire body. The pressure
stings and burns, compelling her to shriek and wail in immense agony. Then, Shauna is squeezing
Jackie’s hand so tightly that she virtually crushes Jackie’s fingers, spurring Jackie to wince and
wheeze in distress.

“Ok, Shauna. C’mon. You’ve got this… you’ve got this,” Jackie shakily states, breathing
erratically. She continues to run a hand through Shauna’s hair, before leaning down to press a kiss
to the sweaty crown of it. “Keep pushing, baby. One more. Push, honey, one more—”

Shauna pinches her eyes shut, so hard that they literally sting. She uses legitimately all of her
strength to bear down again, roaring loudly in misery, until she feels something slip free.

A series of squeaky cries rips through the attic, the high-pitched sound uncomfortably scraping
against Shauna’s eardrums. “Oh!” Misty declares, smiling so brightly. She lifts up her arms slowly,
almost like she’s holding something sacred. “Welcome to the world, little guy,” Misty coos,
cradling a literal rotisserie chicken against her chest.

Shauna’s mouth instinctively waters, as she watches Jackie cut the umbilical cord with a wide grin.
“He’s so beautiful,” Jackie murmurs, right as Misty plops the chicken right into Shauna’s awaiting
arms. Jackie gazes between it and Shauna, reverently smiling with legitimately worshipful eyes.
She then leans in and presses a kiss to Shauna’s lips, before pulling back and running her fingertips
along one of the chicken’s legs. “Just like his dad…” Jackie whispers, all wistfully. But, then,
everything suddenly shifts.

Now, Jackie is suddenly glowering down at Shauna, lips pursed and eyebrows narrowed. Her face
is contorting into a deep red, while a vein pops right out of her forehead. “Jax— Jackie?” Shauna
breathily stammers, dread cutting at her vocal cords. “Babe, what’s—”

“How could you do this to me?” Jackie raspily screeches, jaw locked and teeth gritted. She angrily
tears her hand out of Shauna’s grasp, before whipping the other one right out of Shauna’s sweat-
drenched hair. Then, Jackie is clutching Shauna’s shoulders so roughly, that her nails cut right
through the thin fabric of Shauna’s soccer jersey. “You’re a liar! You’re a cheater!” Jackie sobs,
sending red-hot tears cascading down her cheeks. She shakes Shauna’s shoulders so roughly, that
Shauna’s entire body jerks around haphazardly. And, well. Shauna unceremoniously drops the
chicken right onto the ground, right as tears begin to cloud her own vision. “You never actually
fucking loved me,” Jackie caustically spits, right before immediately shoving Shauna down.
Shauna’s head slams against the floor with a painfully loud thud, but Jackie wastes no time in
wrapping a firm hand around Shauna’s neck. “I hate you, Shauna.”

“Jax,” Shauna gasps, as Jackie tightens her hold. She squeezes her fingers around Shauna’s throat,
nails sinking into the delicate flesh. Shauna gags, the crushing pressure making it way too difficult
to breathe. “Please… Jackie. Stop,” Shauna pantingly pleads, writhing beneath Jackie’s weight.
She claws at Jackie’s callous hand with one of her own, attempting to fight against her cruel hold.
And then, Shauna’s brown eyes are bulging right out of their sockets from the force of Jackie’s
grip, which just makes Jackie sneer. “I’m sorry, Jackie. I’m sorry. I love you, I swear…” Shauna
chokes out, as she begins to feel a bit light-headed. She continues to gag and squirm in discomfort,
as Jackie just leers down at her.

Jackie presses down harder, basically smashing Shauna’s wind-pipe into smithereens. Shauna’s
chest heaves as she frantically gasps for air, legitimately suffocating under Jackie’s typically gentle
hand. “You’re dead to me,” Jackie suddenly grits out, hazel eyes lit with fire. Shauna’s throat burns
like a molten volcano, while all of the blood rushes from her face. “I hate you, so fucking much.
You’re dead to me, Shauna,” Jackie roars, ignoring Shauna’s desperate cries and rapidly paling
face. Shauna is fighting for air, frantically kicking and thrashing against Jackie’s hold, as tears
stream from her eyes. “Dead to me, dead to me, dead to—”

Shauna bolts upright in her make-shift bed, desperately gasping and panting for air. She is
legitimately drowning in sweat, hair sticking to her forehead and clothes drenched right through.
And, well. Tai is currently nowhere to be found, leaving Shauna to shudder and wheeze all alone,
within the eerie attic. So, without Tai here to interrogate her, Shauna allows herself to stew over the
implications of her weird-ass nightmare.

Like, Shauna knows it's just a manifestation of her guilt, but that nightmare felt uncannily real. It’s
so fucking weird, but Shauna’s entire body is covered with these dull phantom pains, that
seamlessly connect right back to her dream. She can still hardly breathe, air flowing in and out of
her battered lungs, all serrated and sharp. Her throat continues to burn and constrict, almost like
there is still a crushing hand looped around it. And, Shauna swears that she can still feel the
phantom imprint of Jackie’s fingertips, slashing and slicing at the delicate skin of her neck.

But, of course, Shauna isn’t really granted the opportunity to ruminate over how strange this entire
situation truly is. Like, legitimately right as Shauna has finally managed to straighten out her
breathing a bit, Tai abruptly climbs back into the dimly-lit attic.

And, well. Apparently, Shauna’s current feelings of discomfort are etched right onto her face,
contorting all of her features. Moonlight slices through the stale air of the attic, oozing into the
dusty space, through the array of holes in the window. A beam of solid white light hits Tai,
highlighting the wary look she is currently shooting in Shauna’s general direction. Her eyebrows
are narrowed and her lips are currently downturned in a frown, eyes meticulously ticking over
Shauna’s sweat-covered body.

“Hey. Are you… ok?” Tai quietly asks, so softly it comes out like a gust of air. She tip-toes back
over to her sleeping spot, right before plopping down onto the gritty fabric of her blanket. Shauna
scrambles to sit up in her own makeshift bed, mirroring Tai’s current, criss-cross applesauce pose.
“I uh… I’m sorry I dipped for a few. I just had to use the bathroom, real—”

“It’s fine. I’m fine,” Shauna blurts out, way too quickly. Her words awkwardly stumble over each
other, prompting Tai’s face to crease with even more concern. Like, of course, Shauna has to admit
to having another bizarre nightmare. “It was just a bad dream, Tai…” Shauna says, sounding
slightly more confident. And, Tai apparently believes her, face immediately slackening at Shauna’s
words.

But, honestly, that might be the biggest understatement— of all time. The downright terrifying
vision of Jackie legitimately strangling her to death, is still lingering on the forefront of Shauna’s
mind. And, well. Shauna figures that she isn’t going to be able to get that disturbing image out of
her head, anytime soon.

“What was it this time?” Tai murmurs, a slight smirk now tugging on her lips. She bumps
Shauna’s shoulder with her own, which instantly provokes a small smile to formulate on Shauna’s
mouth. “A cheeseburger baby?”

Shauna huffs out a faint giggle, while rubbing the sleep out of eyes. “I never should’ve told you
about that,” Shauna murmurs, shaking her head and clicking her tongue in mock regret. Tai lets out
this hushed chortle of her own, silencing herself once Shauna’s face abruptly falls completely flat.
This crushing swell of anxiety jets through Shauna’s stomach, decimating her playful demeanor in
seconds. Like, the severity of the situation is not lost on Shauna or Tai, in the slightest. So, of
course, Shauna is quickly asking the most glaringly obvious question in the entire world. “What
am I gonna do, Tai?” Shauna blubbers, tears suddenly pricking at her eyelids. It isn’t long before
they are leaking down her cheeks, leaving a salty trail in their wake. Tai instinctively reaches out a
gentle hand, brushing Shauna’s tears away, with the pads of her fingertips. “I— I heard Katie
Lindstrom did it…” Shauna trails off, with a hiccup. She chokes on a watery sob, which causes her
voice to become all thick with mucus. “With the… with the underwire of her bra, last year.”

Tai’s hand freezes on Shauna’s cheek, right as a purse-lipped grimace materializes on Tai’s face.
“Are you fucking insane?” Tai accuses, sighing in clear-cut disbelief. Her eyes are wide and rapt
with attention, peering at Shauna with an incredible amount of worry. “Like, have you lost your
fucking mind, Shauna? You’ll die.”

“Well, I’ll probably die either fucking way!” Shauna sputters indignantly, voice all reedy and raw.
She juts her hands into her eye sockets, desperately attempting to thwart another tide of heavy tears,
to no avail. “I’m in the middle of fucking nowhere,” Shauna tearily proclaims, as her entire body
shakes through a deep sob. Tai carefully pulls Shauna’s hands away from her eyes, forcing Shauna
to gaze at the blank look engraved on her face. “And— and the ob-gyn on call… is Misty fucking
Quigley,” Shauna wails, wringing both of her hands out of Tai’s grasp. And, before Tai can even
try to stop her, Shauna begins to rapidly pound the rotten attic floor with the meat of her fist. “But,
hey!” Shauna caustically spits, forcing a crooked smile onto her tear-stained face. She’s verging on
hysterical now, lips incredibly loose and mouth crammed to the brim with word-vomit. “At least
this way, I won’t die having the love of my life’s—”

Shauna’s entire body instantaneously stiffens, right before she zips her mouth fully closed. But, of
course, Tai is already gaping at her with narrowed brows and a frown. “Shauna…” Tai tentatively
starts, cupping Shauna’s fists with her palms. And, the sympathetic gesture has Shauna biting
down on her tongue so harshly, that the metallic taste of blood seeps right into her mouth. Like,
Shauna doesn’t deserve Tai’s compassion— or like, legitimately anyone’s— right now, or ever
again. “What… what were you about to say?” Tai shakily asks, tipping her head to the side. Her
blazing eyes are trained on Shauna’s paling face, but Shauna currently cannot bear the heat. So,
Shauna lets her head hang low with shame, which also seamlessly allows her gaze to dart to the
floor. “Shauna… what were you gonna say?” Tai repeats, a little more rigidly.

“I was gonna say, that at least this way…” Shauna pauses, sucking in a shaky breath. Her entire
body is trembling, lip now quivering between her teeth. She wants to cry— wants to scream, wants
to lie, wants to run for the hills— but Shauna knows she’s in way too deep, rendering her
physically unable to continue covering this up. “I won’t uh— I won’t die having the love of my
life’s boyfriend’s baby.”

Tai’s eyes rapidly blink at Shauna’s pale face in confusion, before she audibly swallows down a
rigid lump in her throat. Then, Tai is sucking in a sharp breath, before smoothing down a few
pieces of Shauna’s hair for her. “It’s…” Tai murmurs, lowering her voice to a whisper. She
continues patting down Shauna’s hair, absently carding a hand through thick waves. “It’s Jeff’s
baby?”

Now, it’s Shauna’s turn to blink at Tai in bewilderment, eyebrows narrowing and wiggling in
intense shock. Shauna instinctively draws her knees up to her chest, face contorting into a ruddy
red, as she loops a sluggish arm around her legs. Like, even though Tai is easily one of the smartest
people she’s ever met, Shauna seriously cannot believe that Tai somehow managed to jump to that
conclusion. “I— what? It’s not… Jackie’s not,” Shauna stammers, eyes watering all over again. She
sinks her nails into the skin of her legs, clawing desperately at them, in search of an emotional-
support anchor. “I’m not— not in love with Jackie,” Shauna feebly lies, voice coming out so
squeaky that she sounds like a fucking mouse. “It’s— um, it’s—”

Tai pins her with a pointed look, eyebrows shooting upward and lips smacking in disbelief.
“Shauna,” Tai sternly says, slowly shaking her head back and forth. She reaches forward and
smacks Shauna’s hands away from her legs, preventing her from continuing to tear at her own skin.
“I’m gay… and easily one of the most judgemental bitches on the planet. Do you know what that
means?” Tai asks, tilting her head a bit. Shauna shakes her head slowly, a confused frown gracing
her face. “It means that I have one of the greatest gaydars on the planet,” Tai softly says, gently
rubbing at the fresh cuts on Shauna’s legs. “You’re really fucking obvious— like, you do realize
that— right?”

“I don’t… I’m not in love with Jackie. We’re uh, just friends. I swear,” Shauna feebly stammers,
scratching at the sizzling skin on her neck. Tai shoots her another dubious look, clearly unmoved
by Shauna’s horrifically unpersuasive words.

“Shauna, everyone else around here might be blind, but I’ve got two eyes. You eye-fuck her,
literally every single time we’re at the lake. And, c’mon. It was so painfully obvious during that
fucking seance. Like, when Misty was going balls-to-the-wall over her stupid crush, I saw the way
you were looking at Jackie…” Tai murmurs, a barely-there smile creeping onto her lips. She
continues to gently stroke her fingertips against the little scratches on Shauna’s legs, biting her lip
all melancholily. “And, I’ve been there, y’know. I think uh, I think it’s kind of a… gay rite of
passage,” Tai adds, sounding a bit pensive. Then, Tai pauses, before sucking in this painfully long
breath. She looks so sympathetic right now, almost like they’re at one of Shauna’s relatives’
funerals, or something. “Like… being in love with your straight best friend. It sucks, but we’ve all
been there.”

Shauna bites down harshly at her lip, in order to prevent a swell of sardonic laughter from
splashing out of her mouth, Like, apparently, Tai’s gaydar really isn’t all that strong— after all. Tai
thinks Shauna is hopelessly in love with Jackie, secretly harboring a one-sided and unrequited
crush on her best friend. She believes that Jackie is as unequivocally straight as a pointy plastic
ruler, or something. And, well. Shauna decides to roll with Tai’s painfully inaccurate theory, just to
avoid yet another painfully awkward and accidental, Jackie Taylor outing.

“Please, just— just don’t tell anyone about this. Like, not even Van,” Shauna begs, eyes round and
pleading. Tai nods in agreement, before snatching one of Shauna’s hands. She squeezes it lightly
and smiles at Shauna softly, practically dripping with compassion. “It’s uh… embarrassing,”
Shauna lies, hiccuping a bit at the end.

“Okay… yeah. I— I won’t, obviously. But, Shauna…” Tai murmurs, tilting her head to the side.
She gently glides her thumb over the dry skin covering Shauna’s hand, silently reassuring her in a
way that Jackie usually does. “Is it really Jeff’s baby?” Tai reluctantly asks, with a wince. And,
well. Shauna can’t hold back the tears anymore, allowing them to freely sprinkle out of her brown
eyes, all over again. She jerkily bobs her head in response, finding herself unable to speak, with the
mucus-filled lump in her throat. “Wow… uh. That’s— I don’t even wanna— wow…” Tai
murmurs, grimacing a little bit. And, of course, Tai’s lackluster reaction spurs Shauna’s infectious
guilt to spread throughout all of her aching limbs. The dull pain currently pouring throughout
Shauna’s entire body must press her to make some kind of grimace of her own, because then Tai’s
face is instantly softening. “Ok, I get that the situation is… super complicated. To uh, say the
least,” Tai states, eyes bulging a bit. Shauna’s grimace grows, frown lines creasing her cheeks and
forehead. “And, I know that having a crush on Jackie makes things even messier, but um. Shauna,
it’s not worth dying, just to keep Jackie from finding out.”
And, well. Shauna instinctively nibbles on her lip, because she is not quite sure that she agrees
with Tai on that one. Like, Shauna honestly would prefer dropping dead, over having to tell Jackie
that she’s currently knocked up with Jeff’s devil spawn. Truthfully, Shauna would rather be buried
in a shallow grave, than be forced to listen to Jackie crying and screaming over her indiscretions.
It’s sick and twisted, that Shauna would prefer dying over telling Jackie the truth. But, Shauna isn’t
all that eager or thrilled to grant the mistake currently living rent-free within her abdomen full
permission, to wreck her brand-new relationship with Jackie.

But then, in an odd twist of fate, Tai is offering Shauna a potential way out of her current
predicament. It’s just a small little thread of hope, but Shauna still decides to tug roughly on it.
Like, maybe Tai will be able to help Shauna unspool the ball of guilt-ridden yarn ensnaring her
heart, after all.

“Look, Shauna. I have a plan, alright?” Tai assuages, squeezing Shauna’s hand again. Shauna
offers her an awkwardly shy smile in return, forcibly smacking it right onto her face. “I’m gonna
head South and find help, I swear…" Tai proclaims, voice practically dripping with confidence.
And, God, Shauna wants— no, honestly needs— to believe her. So, Shauna is going to force
herself to trust Tai’s instincts, no matter how far-fetched this little plan seems. “So just… wait.
Please, just wait,” Tai practically begs, her own eyes watering a bit. And, well. Shauna swears that
she has never seen Taissa fucking Turner this emotional, in her entire life. Tai is usually so stoic
and reserved, consistently putting up this carefully-crafted icy exterior. But, now that she’s seeing
Tai’s frosty shell cracking before her eyes, Shauna feels even more inclined to listen to her
directions. “Just wait, and promise me that you won’t do anything stupid.”

Shauna reluctantly jerks her head up and down in response, while allowing another viscous swell
of tears to cloud her brown eyes. “I— I,” Shauna shakily starts, panting desperately for air. She can
feel her face burning up under the heat of Tai’s intense gaze, pale skin twisting into a tomato red
color. And, well. It’s not like Shauna has that many alluring options on her dinner plate, right now.
She can either tell Jackie about her unexpected pregnancy, literally sign her own death certificate,
or patiently wait for Tai to get some type of expedition trip together. So, of course, Shauna chooses
to go with the most improbable— but, well, partially harmless— option. “I promise… I’ll wait.”

And, well. Somehow, Tai seems thoroughly pleased and completely satisfied with Shauna’s
downright unconvincing delivery, if the bright smile tugging on her lips is of any indication. Then,
Tai is quickly dragging Shauna into a bear hug, squeezing Shauna’s limp body against her chest.
Shauna is so emotionally drained that she instinctively melts right into the warm embrace,
dropping her heavy head onto Tai’s shoulder. She huffs out a breath against Tai’s neck, right before
painfully pinching her eyes shut.

Shauna isn’t entirely cajoled by Tai’s fairly bare-bones plan, but… whatever. It’s not like Shauna’s
well-known for consistently keeping her promises, anyway.

“Can I tell you something like… kinda fucked? And l swear to God if you tell anyone I said this,
I’m gonna have to beat your ass, Shipman.”

Shauna is leaning her aching back against a tree, gazing right into Jackie’s sparkling, gooey eyes.
Jackie is smiling all toothily, merrily twirling around the clearing, from leafy bush to leafy bush.
She shakes each bush rather clumsily, scouring through green leaves for any ripe or tart berries.
There’s a rusty bucket in her delicate hand, which she lackadaisically swings around at her side.
And, well. Before Shauna knows it, she’s instinctively matching the glittery grin on Jackie’s face,
tenfold.

“Uh-huh,” Shauna murmurs, sliding down onto the forest floor. The tree bark lightly scrapes
against her flannel-clad back, until her ass hits the lumpy mud-covered ground. It’s cold and wet,
but Shauna is unable to feel the chill seeping through the fabric of her jeans. Jackie’s adorable little
smile is keeping her warm, effectively mitigating the potency of the frigid forest floor. “Shoot,
baby.”

Jackie lets out this soft hum at the word baby, chewing at her chapped lip and grinning in approval.
“Well, I was just…” Jackie trails off, scrunching her nose up a bit. Then, Jackie is strolling over
toward Shauna, right before dropping down next to her. The corroded bucket rattles a little bit
when Jackie scoots it in front of them, in order to allow her and Shauna to sit completely side-by-
side. Jackie then drops her head to Shauna’s shoulder, right before slotting her fingers between a
handful of Shauna’s. “Thinking,” Jackie pauses, with this wistful little sigh.

“Oh no. That’s always pretty dangerous,” Shauna teases, biting back a grin. Jackie turns her head
and peers up at Shauna with a one-eyed glare, but the look is softened by the glints of playfulness
currently dashing across her hazel irises. Then, Jackie lets out this overdramatic huff, which ends
up being muffled by the thick fabric of Shauna’s shirt. “Let’s hear it, though. I’m on the edge of
my seat, Jax.”

“Ok, so. I swear I like, feel super fucking shitty for thinking this way, but uh…” Jackie whispers,
although there is absolutely no need for her to be so quiet. She seems slightly timid all of a sudden,
almost like she’s afraid that Shauna will judge her for what she’s about to say. So, Shauna brushes
her thumb up against Jackie’s bony wrist, while studying the sheepish look on her face. “I just… I
don’t know. I’m sorta— sorta glad we’re stuck here?” Jackie hesitantly proclaims, with a wince.
And, well. Shauna’s eyebrows immediately raise in confusion, while her eyes begin to blink at
Jackie’s rapidly blushing cheeks. “Fuck, that sounds so bad. Uh, let me… explain,” Jackie
frantically says, voice all pitchy and breathy. “So like, obviously I’m not happy that people died or
that we’re all currently starving, but um. I’m just… kinda happy to be away from all the bullshit. I
know it’s weird but I just— I just feel freer, out here. Like, now I don’t have to deal with pleasing
my parents, all the fucking time. I don’t have to worry about my weight— or my skin, or my hair—
or my clothes. I can just be me, without worrying about what my parents— or like, everyone else—
might think,” Jackie squeakily blabs, with as much grace as a drunken sailor. And, well. Jackie’s
admission has Shauna so completely shocked, that she honestly doesn’t have the brain power to
conjure up any sort of reaction. Of course, Jackie apparently misreads Shauna’s silence as disgust,
because she is immediately letting out this awkward and forced laugh. “I uh… I sound crazy, huh?
Like, so completely off the rails. So um, can we maybe just, forget about—”

Shauna quickly shakes her head to and fro, before leaning down and pressing a kiss on the crown
of Jackie’s head. “Nuh-uh. You don’t sound crazy, Jax. I understand… y’know? It uh… it makes
sense,” Shauna reassuringly murmurs, burying her nose in Jackie’s hair. She relishes in Jackie’s
smell, picking up faint whiffs of the flowery-scented Herbal Essences shampoo, that she has
always associated with Jackie. “You’re not crazy or awful. And… I’m just happy that you are
happier. I’m glad that you’re feeling more comfortable with yourself, even if it took a plane crash
for it to happen. Trust me.”

“Really?” Jackie giddily whispers, squinting up at Shauna in disbelief. And, fuck. Jackie looks so
fucking cute right now, with her nose all scrunched up and her feet tapping around excitedly. So,
Shauna instinctively bounces her head with a smile, leaning down to press a quick kiss right to her
forehead. “I thought you’d be like… weirded out, or something.”

“No, I uh. I’ve been kinda… thinking the same thing,” Shauna absently states, with a thin smile.
And, for once in her life, Shauna is telling Jackie the truth. Like, for the past few days, Shauna’s
been brooding over how different things would be if they made it back to Jersey. There definitely
wouldn’t be a freeloading Sadecki spawn swimming around in her stomach, if they were back in
the Garden State. But, well. If they had made it back to New Jersey, Jackie would presumably
continue dating Jeff, opting to protect that picture-perfect reputation of hers. So, Shauna would
automatically continue to be relegated to the side-kick and side-piece positions, rather than playing
the starring role in Jackie’s love life. But, of course, their plane literally crashing in the middle of
fucking nowhere… changed things. “Like, I think without… y’know. All of this…” Shauna
murmurs, jerkily waving a hand around. The movement pushes Jackie to pull her head off of
Shauna’s shoulder, with a little frown. “Things would be… really different. Especially between us.
But uh, I think that the plane crash really helped us out,” Shauna adds, before looping an arm
around Jackie’s shoulder. And, well. Jackie takes it as an invitation, squishing herself even closer to
Shauna, before dropping her head right back onto Shauna’s own shoulder. “So, yeah. I’m not
happy that it happened, or that like, any of this shit happened. I’m just… happy that it somehow
gave me you.”

Shauna lifts the hand she has resting on Jackie’s bony shoulder, using it to comb through the ends
of Jackie’s light brown locks. “Me too…” Jackie mumbles, peering up at Shauna with misty eyes.
She pinches Shauna’s cheek and bites her lip, clearly fighting back a sudden wave of tears. “I
promise that things are gonna be so different when we get home.”

“Yeah?” Shauna shakily says, anxiety seeping right into her voice. She chokes down a ragged
swallow, while envisioning herself carrying Jeff’s fucking baby off of their rescue plane. Jesus
Christ. “How uh— how so?”

“Well, I’ve got it like… all figured out,” Jackie giddily proclaims, clapping her hands together.
And, in typical Jackie Taylor fashion, her entire demeanor has abruptly shifted. She’s smiling from
ear to ear, filled with this renewed sense of vigor and vibrancy. “Do you wanna hear about my…
big plans? For the um, future?”

“Sure?” Shauna reluctantly says, half-petrified, half-curious. Jackie looks and sounds like she
suddenly has more energy than the Energizer Bunny, as she clumsily extracts herself from
Shauna’s embrace. She shifts to sit right in front of Shauna, legs crisscrossed and eyes filled with
sparkles. And, considering how gung-ho Jackie went while planning out her entire Homecoming
campaign, Shauna figures that her growing anxiety over Jackie’s big plans is fairly valid. “Yeah,
tell me—”

“Ok, so… picture this,” Jackie proclaims, practically dripping with enthusiasm. She’s fidgeting
around and beaming at Shauna, before lifting her delicate hands and talking with them. “We’re
like, five years out of college. No more school, but we’ve both got our degrees from Rutgers…
obviously,” Jackie says, prompting Shauna’s stomach to twist. Unbeknownst to Jackie, this plan
already has a major fucking setback; when— well, more like if— they get home, Shauna’s parents
are still probably going to force her to go to Brown. “And, you’re this like, big-time author. Lots of
best-sellers, probably a Nobel prize… a whole lotta dough,” Jackie practically sings, waggling an
enthusiastic eyebrow. Shauna nervously laughs over Jackie’s overzealous faith in her, attempting to
bite back the smile now fighting to worm its way onto her face. “Like, the whole nine yards.

“Oh… yeah?” Shauna inquires, earning a super animated nod from Jackie. She squints at Jackie
for a second, studying all of her little freckles and beauty marks. Then, Shauna clasps her own
hands together, in an attempt to act fake-serious. “Sounds like a dream, Jackie,” Shauna admits,
which makes Jackie squeal. She drums her fingers up Shauna’s leg, while thumping her own feet
around. “But uh… what are you gonna do?” Shauna inquires, tilting her head a bit. And, well.
Jackie lets outs this overdramatic guffaw, gaping at Shauna in mock bewilderment and offense.
“You just told me what I’m gonna do… like, as a job. So, what are—”

“Well, no offense or anything, but you are a horrific planner,” Jackie declares, clicking her tongue
and sighing a bit. Now, it’s Shauna’s turn to look and feel vaguely confused, pushing her to lift an
inquisitive eyebrow in Jackie’s direction. “Shauna, seriously? C’mon. You’re gonna be so busy
doing all of your book-nerd stuff, that you are going to need someone to schedule all of your
meetings and plan all of your little events…” Jackie trails off, dramatically thrusting a hand over
her heart. “I am more than willing to take one for the team, especially since you are gonna need to
impress all of those big wig publishers. And, trust me. With all of the outfits I’m picturing myself
in…” Jackie murmurs, batting her lashes and biting her lip a bit. Jesus Christ. “They are all gonna
be so jealous of you.”

“So, in the future, you’re my… secretary?” Shauna lightly asks, earning a quick head nod and grin
from Jackie, in response. Then, Shauna is pursing her own lips, tapping her chin in mock
reflection. “I hear it’s like, bad for couples to work together. So, is this your way of… letting me
down gently?” Shauna teases, earning a light slap across the leg in reprimand. And, then, Jackie is
messily scrambling right into Shauna’s lap. She straddles Shauna’s hips, which just pushes Shauna
to sink her nails into Jackie’s jean-clad waist. “Do you really wanna trade in the girlfriend title…
for the secretary title?”

Jackie vehemently shakes her head, nose crinkling a bit. “Who says I can’t be both?” Jackie asks,
tilting her head a bit. She wiggles a suggestive eyebrow, pinning Shauna with a heady look. “I’m
really flexible, babe,” Jackie then murmurs, dropping her voice an octave.“You should know this
by now.” Fuck.

“Tell me more then,” Shauna automatically blurts out, hands gripping Jackie’s hips tighter. Then,
Shauna instinctively leans forward, burying her face in the crook of Jackie’s neck. She nips at
Jackie’s delicate skin, causing her to squirm a little in Shauna’s lap. “What else is in the cards for
us?”

“Mmm… big house. We’re staying in Jersey, but not in Wiskayok. I’m thinking somewhere
actually pretty, like… Ocean Grove. That way, it’ll be really easy for you to commute to the city
for work…” Jackie mumbles, cradling the back of Shauna’s head. Shauna grins against the side of
Jackie’s neck, bobbing her head in between kisses. “And… we’ll get to live like, right on the
beach…” Jackie wistfully adds, running her hands through Shauna’s hair. “The dog and the kids
will love it.”

Shauna’s entire body goes stiff, while her heart begins to erratically thump in her chest. She pulls
away from Jackie’s neck then, peering at her with wide eyes. “The what?” Shauna asks, as pure
panic begins to crease her face. One of her now sweaty palms instantly slips from Jackie’s waist,
miraculously landing right onto her own abdomen. And, Shauna knows she’s just imagining things
— knows that the baby is way too underdeveloped to move— but she swears she can somehow feel
that stupid mistake, wiggling around in there. “Jax, what—”

“Um… well. You literally always used to talk about how much you wanted a dog. Like, when we
used to write out our Christmas lists together, I’m pretty sure ‘Golden Retriever puppy’ was at the
top of your list… for years,” Jackie excitedly asserts, twirling a strand of Shauna’s hair around her
finger. She’s still so fucking blissed out, that she somehow can’t hear Shauna’s pulse beating like a
goddamn snare drum. “Plus, you always used to talk about your cousins’ dog, so I figured we
could name it Ch—”

“Kids?” Shauna abruptly exclaims, vocal cords straining from how high-pitched it comes out. Her
mind is legitimately reeling, making it nearly impossible for her to focus on the exasperated look
on Jackie’s face. “What are you—”

“Two girls, one boy. Duh,” Jackie confidently remarks, like it’s the most obvious thing in the entire
world. She knocks her fist against Shauna’s forehead, letting out this overdramatic sigh. “C’mon,
Shipman. Keep up!” Jackie adds, furrowing her brows a bit. Shauna just continues to stare at her
like a deer in headlights, jaw instinctively dropping to the forest floor. But, well. Jackie seems too
enthralled in describing her ideal future, to notice the apprehensive look on Shauna’s face. “Why do
you think I need to work from home? " Jackie asks, unironically placing her hand over her chest.
"Like, do you expect them to… I don’t know. Walk to their soccer practices? Make all of their own
school lunches? Take the school bus… every single day?” Jackie questions, with a wince. This
little grimace then creeps onto Jackie’s face, almost like the mere idea of any of those things
happening to their hypothetical kids, makes her sick. “Plus, like, what if they need help with home
—”

“We’re having kids?” Shauna ungracefully blurts out, prompting Jackie’s mouth to zip closed. And
now, Jackie is squinting at Shauna in offense, before wringing her hand right out of Shauna’s hair.
She crosses her skinny arms over her own chest, letting out this resoundingly loud and frustrated
huff. “Look… Jackie,” Shauna mumbles, using her other hand to rub at her pounding temple. And,
well. The hand still resting on her stomach is practically burning at this point, almost like she is
laying it on a fucking stovetop. Jackie is describing a future where she and Shauna have kids
together, while Shauna is currently pregnant, with Jeff's baby. “There’s um. There’s something I
really need to—”

“You’re telling me you don’t want a bunch of little Shipmans running around?” Jackie shyly asks,
face falling flat. She looks like she could cry all of a sudden, with the way her cloudy eyes
painfully drift away from Shauna’s face. “Or did I like… scare you?” Jackie inquires, eyes still
trained on a sliver of mottled tree bark. She lets out this nervous little laugh, jutting her palms into
her eye sockets. “Too much too fast, huh?” Jackie shakily admits, audibly swallowing. Her voice
sounds slightly watery now, but her palms are hiding her eyes from Shauna’s sight. “Like, how
could you even picture a future with me, when I’m too afraid to even tell people we’re—”

“Woah… woah,” Shauna frantically says, looping her hands around Jackie’s wrists. She tugs
Jackie’s hands away from her tanned face, while attempting not to frown at the tears now plainly
pouring from Jackie’s eyelids. Then, Shauna drops her wrists, allowing Jackie's hands to hang
loosely at her sides. “Hey, hey… Jax. It’s not— it’s not like that,” Shauna murmurs, cupping
Jackie’s cheek. She rubs her tears away with her thumb, ignoring the guilt tugging at her gut. “I
want all the same things you do, ok? And, we have like, all the time in the world. I’m in no rush to
tell people, especially if you’re still uncomfortable… ok?” Shauna whispers, pressing a kiss to
Jackie’s cheek. Jackie sniffles, reluctantly jerking her head up and down. She still seems a bit
skittish, apparently unconvinced by Shauna’s words. So, Shauna decides to try a new approach,
instead. “Plus… uh. Wouldn’t they be like, little Shipman-Taylors?” Shauna prompts, which
immediately makes Jackie perk up a bit. Thank fuck. “I’m pretty sure it’s like, automatically
hyphenated, when—”

“Ok, no…” Jackie confidently declares, a small smile working its way onto her tear-stained face.
The sight makes Shauna grin from ear to ear, as she continues to caress Jackie's cheek. “Shipman-
Taylor is like, such a ridiculously long last name. Can you imagine how much time they would
waste on their SATS, by having to bubble all of those letters in?” Jackie states, bubbling with a
restored sense of joy. Shauna rubs her hands up and down Jackie’s jean-clad thighs, desperately
fighting the urge to giggle, by biting the inside of her cheek. “We’re going with Shipman. Just
Shipman. I’m taking Shipman, they’re taking Shipman. We’re all rolling with Shipman.”

“Yeah?” Shauna manages to ask, before breaking off into a fit of laughter. Jackie slowly bobs her
head, biting her lip a bit. Then, Jackie is tapping her fingers against Shauna’s chest, gazing at her
with a mischievous glint in her eye. “So… I guess that means we're getting married? And uh, I’m
the one who has to propose then, huh?”
Jackie winds her hand into the necklace looped around Shauna’s throat, before squeezing herself
even closer to Shauna’s body. “Mmm guess so,” Jackie absently mumbles, nudging her nose
against Shauna’s. Shauna’s hands instantly dart right back to Jackie’s hips, gripping them roughly.
“If you ask me in ten years… maybe I’ll say yes.”

And, well. Shauna’s got a terrific comeback for that one, but Jackie’s mouth is already on hers. So,
Shauna swallows down her own words, focusing all of her attention on moving her lips in sync
with Jackie’s. Shauna manages to keep things fairly tame for a little bit, keeping Jackie occupied
by just leisurely making out. But, of course, Jackie Taylor is nothing if not impatient. She begins to
thrust her hips into Shauna’s lap, panting and groaning right into her mouth. Shauna attempts to
slow her down, legitimately fearful of getting hot and heavy, with this stupid baby resting between
them like a hidden roadblock.

But, much to Shauna’s horror, Jackie begins to frantically tear open the buttons of her flannel shirt.
Her deft fingers make it halfway down the flap of button-covered fabric, before Shauna is
practically shoving Jackie’s hand right off of her. Of course, Jackie then rips her mouth off of
Shauna’s, shooting her the dirtiest death glare Shauna has ever seen. Like, somehow, Jackie looks
scarier right now... than she did in Shauna's nightmare.

“I— I’m still… on my period,” Shauna weakly lies, rebuttoning her shirt with shaky fingers. Jackie
squints at her in sheer confusion, eyebrows furrowing and forehead wrinkling in doubt. “Maybe in
a few days, I’ll be—”

“Shauna, you told me two days ago that your period ended. Remember?” Jackie murmurs, mouth
downturned in a frown. Fuck. Shauna’s crafted so many lies, that she can barely even keep up with
them, at this point. That realization, combined with the slightly irritated look on Jackie’s face,
makes Shauna’s blood pressure peak. “I literally asked you if it was over, once I noticed that you
stopped washing rags in the—”

“Ok, yeah. My period’s over…” Shauna breathily admits, prompting Jackie to raise a confused
eyebrow. Jackie’s entire body also stiffens, back shooting rim-rod straight. And, yeah. Shauna’s
cheeks instinctively burn, knowing that Jackie’s finally caught her in a lie. “But um, I’m really
fucking tired. I barely got any sleep last night, so I’m kinda—"

“So, ok. Let me get this shit straight,” Jackie spits, puffing up her cheeks in annoyance. She lets out
this little scoff, gazing at Shauna with her lips stretched into a taut line. “You don't wanna do
anything, because you're tired? And, you’re tired, because you can’t fall asleep in that creepy
fucking attic? Y’know, the attic that I specifically asked you not to sleep in? Is that correct?” Jackie
sardonically inquires, crossing her arms over her chest. And, Jackie looks so goddamn intimidating
right now, that Shauna instinctively bows her face down and nods. “Right… yeah. I think maybe
the next logical step is to— I don’t know— come back downstairs, and sleep next to your
girlfriend? Unless you like, enjoy sleeping up there with all the dead spirits and Taissa fucking
Turner, more than you like cuddling with—”

“It’s not— Jackie… no,” Shauna announces, rubbing at her temples again. Like, Shauna wishes
that she could go back downstairs and sleep with Jackie, but she can’t. She knows how handsy and
cuddly Jackie gets, especially in her sleep. And, well. Shauna understands that she is one false
move away, from eventually allowing Jackie to sling her arm over a tell-tale baby bump. So,
Shauna is going to stay in that fucking attic, no matter what. “I just— I need to show the rest of the
girls that it’s not… haunted. Once somebody else goes up there to sleep, I’ll come back—”

“Ok? Then I’ll just come upstairs and sleep in the attic with you tonight… Shauna,” Jackie sternly
states, prompting Shauna’s eyes to swell in terror. And, Jackie must notice the stunned look on
Shauna’s rapidly paling face, because she quickly lets out yet another scoff. “Jesus Christ. What
the fuck is up with you, lately? Anytime I try to touch you, I swear you flip shit. Now you’re like…
freaking out over me sleeping upstairs? What the hell is going on?”

“Nothing! Nothing’s going on, alright? I’m just— I’ve just been so tired, Jackie. And I— I want
you to sleep downstairs. I just, I want you to be comfortable…” Shauna trails off, voice frenzied
and squeaky. Jackie blinks down at Shauna, while the gears definitely begin to churn in that head of
hers. “Tai said that uh… Van might come sleep upstairs, soon. So, once she goes up there, I’ll
come back down. I swear.”

Jackie pins her with this dubious look, while she gnaws at the inside of her cheek. She opens her
mouth like she wants to say something, but then swiftly zips it closed. And then, a few more
moments filled with stale silence and awkward stares pass, before Jackie finally decides to re-open
her mouth. “Fine,” Jackie spits, shaking her head a bit. She still looks beyond suspicious, but
Shauna’s not quite sure what Jackie is currently so worried about. “Hopefully she moves up there
soon… I miss getting to cuddle with you.”

Shauna bobs her head in response, a little excessively. “Me— me too,” Shauna murmurs, forcing a
huge smile onto her mouth. So, Shauna holds her arms out toward Jackie, wriggling her fingers and
motioning for Jackie to come snuggle into her chest. "C'mere," Shauna whispers, biting her lip.
And, Jackie quickly accepts the invitation, by tucking her face into Shauna’s neck.

She loops her arms around Shauna’s back, right before letting out this contented sigh into the fabric
of her shirt. Then, Jackie’s tense body relaxes even more, once Shauna begins to run her hands up
and down her back. Shauna automatically kisses the top of Jackie’s head again, once she hears
Jackie yawning and feels Jackie nuzzling even further into her neck.

As Jackie begins to drift off to sleep, Shauna gradually begins to acknowledge that her love-child
with Jeff does not fit into Jackie’s picture-perfect vision of the future. And, now that she is really
thinking hard about it, Shauna realizes that she definitely wants that future. Like, honestly, Shauna
figures that she might actually want it more than Jackie does.

So, well. Shauna decides to break her promise to Tai, then and there. It’s like Jackie’s little speech
provided Shauna with a brand-new sense of urgency, pushing her to nip this thing right in the bud.

Shauna doesn’t want to die, but she truly does believe that her future with Jackie, might be worth
the risk.

“God! Stop! Stop! Take it out, take it out, take it out!”

Tai immediately draws the scorching hot piece of metal underwire out of Shauna’s body, dropping
it onto the blanket beneath them both, with shaking fingers. Her eyes are filled with almost as
many tears as Shauna’s brown ones presently are, although Tai seems to have the wherewithal to
wipe hers away.

But, well. Shauna doesn’t have the energy to worry about her tears, with the way her entire body
continues to sting and burn. She’s never felt pain as intense as this before, even with all of the
soccer injuries she’s endured. Shauna literally survived a plane crash, but she swears her injuries
from that hurt way less than this.

She feels like her body is sizzling from the inside out, while she desperately gasps and pants for air.
Her body continues to shudder in aftershock, while searing hot pangs roll through her lower
abdomen. Shauna feels so dizzy and light-headed from the all-encompassing pain, that she hardly
 even registers Tai tugging her limp frame into her arms.

It’s only when Tai begins to whisper reassurances into her ear, that Shauna completely loses it. She
buries her head into Tai’s shoulder and weeps, while picturing Jackie’s face behind her closed
eyelids. Shauna really wishes that she had managed to ignore the pain, as Jackie’s words begin to
play on repeat in her brain. They skip and dash around the forefront of Shauna’s mind like a broken
record, replaying over and over again.

Shauna blew their future together, before even granting Jackie the opportunity to tell her all about
it.

The realization makes Shauna sob even harder, propelling her to drench the fabric of Tai’s shirt
with her never-ending supply of tears. “It’s ok… it’s ok…” Tai murmurs, petting Shauna’s hair
with one hand. Shauna shakes like a leaf in her arms, instinctively grimacing once she peers over
Tai’s shoulder. She catches sight of that wretched strip of metal, which propels bile to shoot up her
esophagus. It makes her throat burn, almost as much as her lower body currently does.

“I can’t do it, I can’t do it!” Shauna incoherently whimpers, fisting her hand into the back of Tai’s
shirt. She feels Tai bobbing her head against the crown of her own skull, chin jutting right into a
clump of Shauna’s wavy hair. “I don’t want to die… I don’t want to die!” Shauna wails, so loudly
that she swears Jackie might be able to hear her, all the way from the fucking cabin.

And, well. Shauna thinks about Jackie yet again, recalling how effortlessly she snuck away from
her. She left Jackie asleep in front of the fireplace, before quietly tip-toeing right into the attic.
Shauna tore the underwire straight out of her lavender-colored bra, then slinked down the ladder
and right past Jackie’s curled-up form. She made her way into the woods without alerting Jackie of
her secret mission, by quietly opening and closing the cabin’s front door behind her. It was like
Jackie waking up and catching her hadn’t even crossed Shauna’s mind, as she allowed her body to
move on auto-pilot.

She figures that Jackie is still asleep, completely oblivious to what Shauna’s been up to. Jackie is
probably dreaming about their shared future— adding more details and elements to it— while
Shauna desperately attempts to protect it. And, Shauna is honestly thankful that Jackie is still
asleep, instead of scouring the woods for her. She’s grateful that Tai is the one who found her out
here, laying across this woolen blanket, in shambles.

As she continues to frantically hold onto Tai’s body, Shauna wishes that she was more like all of
those Saints she used to read about. She figures it would’ve been worth dying a martyr, for Jackie
Taylor’s love.

Now, Shauna’s not quite sure how much longer she is going to be blessed with it.

Chapter End Notes

coming up: tai goes on her mission for help, so jackie sleeps in the attic with shauna,
where she begins to start uh... breaking down.
 things are going... south
Chapter Summary

“Wowza, Shipman!” Jackie proclaims, clapping her hands together. Tai scoffs at the
gesture, rolling her eyes right at Jackie’s absurdly fake smile. “Way to steal one right
out of my playbook!” Jackie adds, widening her eyes in mock surprise. And, fuck.
Shauna pales, right as the realization hits her like a slap across the face. Fuck. The
whole butcher’s knife thing.

“Jax…” Shauna placatingly murmurs, before reaching out to grab one of her hands.
Jackie instinctively jerks away, prompting Tai to gape between the two of them in
confusion. “It’s— I was just. Jackie—”

Or: Tai leaves for her expedition and Shauna acts like a completely clueless idiot.

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

July 19th, 1996

A horrifically vile mixture of decomposing guts and ravenous maggots trickle out of the deer’s
lacerated stomach, rotten entrails leaking right onto the forest floor. Its blood-coated antlers glisten
in the sunlight, golden rays highlighting flickers of the wet, velvety red substance. It’s such a
disgusting sight, that it effectively doubles as yet another critical hit to the group’s morale.

Virtually everyone is huddled around the gruesome deer carcass, groaning and gagging at both the
sight of the maggots and the smell of putrid entrails. Shauna finds it kind of full-circle and oddly
fitting, that the Yellowjackets’ reaction to this sickly deer is similar to how they responded to Allie
and her mangled leg. It pushes her to stand up and back away from the deer with a sigh, while also
compelling her to latch onto the hunting knife like a lifeline. She peers around the soccer-like
huddle that the group has formed, noting the hodgepodge of rapidly paling faces and sour
lip-puckers.

Like, the entire team currently looks like they’ve just walked out of Count Basie Theater’s latest
showing of The Silence of the Lambs, besides Lottie. She’s sitting next to Laura Lee on one of the
mottled tree logs, with her hands clasped in her lap and her absent eyes trained on the deer’s bloody
antlers. “I saw it,” Lottie abruptly murmurs under her breath, right to Laura Lee. Her voice is
low— barely above a whisper— so Shauna legitimately has to strain her ears a bit to hear it. “I’m—
I’m not crazy,” she adds, prompting Laura Lee to rub a reassuring hand down the expanse of her
back. Shauna thinks Lottie currently looks a bit ghost-like, with her pale face and empty eyes. She
remains so stoic— so completely devoid of any emotion— in a way that is entirely unsettling.

“No…” Laura Lee flatly states, her mouth a thin line. She looks between the dead deer and Lottie’s
blank face, forehead nervously crinkling. And, well. The ominosity behind their words and their
demeanors makes Shauna feel uneasy, pushing her stomach to flip and twist a bit. “You have a
gift,” Laura Lee then absently murmurs, her puerile little voice raising slightly higher.

And, Tai somehow manages to overhear it, if the legitimate snarl she lets out is of any indication.
“We cannot keep fucking doing this, you guys!” Tai bellows, fisting both of her hands into her hair.
She glares between Lottie and Laura Lee, casting flaming rays of fury in their direction, before
going on an absolute tirade. “Ghosts don’t exist. The cabin isn’t haunted. So, why don't you two
just… cut the crap?” Tai spits, earning a scoff from Lottie and a dejected head shake from Laura
Lee. Then, Tai is angrily pacing back and forth, kicking up clumps of soil and heaps of leaves.
“And— and you know what else?” Tai squawks, freezing in front of the rotten deer carcass. She
wildly waves an arm at it, with a scowl imprinted on her lips. “If we keep this shit up, we’re all
going to starve to death! Rescue isn’t coming, but winter fucking is. So, guess what?” Tai snarkily
proclaims, shrugging her hands and shoulders. She spares Shauna a quick glance, before sucking in
a sharp breath. “We need to be proactive and save ourselves. Like, we need to at least try to do
something…” Tai murmurs, peering around the crowded semi-circle. Everyone is currently nailing
the deer in headlights look, peering at Tai with furrowed brows and saucer-like eyes. “And, that’s
why I am going to go look for help. It’s better to go out and look for rescue, instead of just sitting
around here and—”

“What do you think we should do, Lottie?” Laura Lee interjects, provoking legitimately everyone
to gape at her. Even Shauna can’t stop her own jaw from dropping, right when she hears Laura
Lee’s soft voice, abruptly cut Tai right off. It’s such a bold maneuver, that Shauna can’t help but
chuckle in astonishment and squint at Lottie and Laura Lee’s interlocked hands.

Laura Lee gently squeezes Lottie’s fingers, in a clear attempt to nudge her into speaking. But,
Lottie remains absolutely silent and bone-chillingly rigid, glancing between Tai’s hardened
features and Shauna’s confused countenance. “I don’t— I don’t know,” Lottie eventually murmurs,
eyes darting away from Shauna’s. She stares at the ground in front of her, digging the toe of her
Adidas Samba shoe right into a clump of mud. Weird.

“Look… guys. I don’t have time for this bullshit,” Tai announces, breaking off into a little bout of
incredulous laughter. She clenches her jaw and rolls her eyes, while peering between Lottie and
Laura Lee. “Anyone who wants to come with me, is welcome. But I’m definitely going… like, right
now.”

“Ok… but you’re gonna want to take stuff with you, right?” Akilah asks, prompting all eyes to dart
straight to her. She crosses her arms over her chest, sucking in a timid breath. “Like, I’m assuming
you’re planning on bringing some food and supplies?” she amends, earning a sharp head nod from
Tai. The gesture prompts all of the Yellowjackets to glance uneasily between each other, stirring
bodies to nervously twitch and wary eyes to roam. “That’s like, not just up to you…” Akilah states,
gesturing toward each group member. “Don’t you think—”

“Well, you can’t just… send her out there with nothing,” Shauna automatically bites out, words
spewing out of her mouth like rapid gunfire. Her voice comes out so uncharacteristically corrosive
and sharp, that it inadvertently needles at each of her teammates. They’re all glaring at Shauna with
narrowed eyes and pursed lips, evidently exasperated by both Tai and Shauna’s antics. But, even
with legitimately all eyes on her, Shauna’s senses instinctively hyper-fixate on the distinct heat of
Jackie’s gaze. Shauna can feel Jackie’s smoldering eyes on her, hazel irises meticulously ticking
over the details of Shauna’s side profile. Jackie’s vigilant eyes are dissecting Shauna piece by
piece, leaving her to feel a lot like that maggot-infested deer, with its body cavity sliced open and
its guts on full display. “And she’s— she’s trying to find help. It’s not like she’s wasting supplies
on something fucking stupid,” Shauna reluctantly adds, voice slightly shaky. She keeps her eyes
trained on Tai’s half smile, fighting against the urge to meet the suspicious look on Jackie’s rapidly
reddening face. “We should be… thankful for her,” Shauna murmurs, matching Tai’s shy grin.

Van and Jackie let out a pair of resoundingly loud scoffs, effectively bursting Shauna and Tai’s fun
little friendship bubble. In seconds, Tai and Shauna are both turning their attention to Van, who is
now dramatically clearing her throat. “Alright… not to ruin your, uh. Little moment…” Van
mumbles, waving a dismissive hand between Tai and Shauna. And, of course, Shauna looks up and
finds Jackie’s perceptive eyes tracking the gesture. She clenches her jaw and narrows her hazel
eyes into slits, right as her gaze immediately darts from Van’s hand to Shauna’s face. And, well. If
looks really could kill, Jackie’s scowl would have Shauna buried six feet under. “But, fuck… Tai.
This is absolutely insane,” Van scolds, recapturing both Jackie and Shauna’s attention. Shauna
reflexively lets out a deep sigh of relief, as soon as Jackie’s sharpened eyes shift back to Van. “We
don’t know where we are, just that we’re surrounded by big-ass mountains. Like, who are you
now?” Van asks, raising her voice a bit. She slaps her own knee and screws on a crooked grin,
before letting out a cutting chuckle. “Edmund fucking Hillary?”

An outbreak of awkward silence pollutes the crisp morning air, leaving everyone to blink at Van in
muted confusion. But, of course, the silence doesn’t last very long… with Mari around. “Um…who
the fuck is Edmund Hillary?” she asks, peering around the circle. Her squinty eyes eventually land
on Jackie, who is now gnawing anxiously at her lip. “Wait, Jackie. Is that the kid who hooked up
with Maggie Mackenzie at your Halloween—”

Tai groans in annoyance, scrunching her eyes closed and shaking her head. “Ok, so back to what I
was saying,” Tai wearily mumbles, cracking an eye open and leering at Mari. “We’re not on an
island. If we go South, we’ve gotta run into something eventually. A road, a town, a—”

“Look, Tai. I’m all for what you’re tryna’ do,” Nat cooly states, flipping her hair out of her face.
She shakes her head a bit, flattening a few errant strands of bleach blonde hair with her palm. “But
the gun has to stay here. I’m fuckin’ serious.”

“Okay… okay. Fine,” Tai assuages, tossing her hands up in resignation. And, well. Shauna can feel
her lips reflexively twist into a deep frown, as Tai’s weak plan continues to barrel past roadblock
after roadblock. Like, at this point, Shauna kind of wishes that Tai would just stay here and
abandon her unsustainable rescue mission. Without the rifle or a meager portion of the group’s
food supply, this expedition sounds like a fucking death wish. “I could bring some of the stuff we
don't use every day. One of the axes, the compass—”

“There's a flare gun in the dead guy's plane,” Jackie cloyingly states, perking up a bit. She taps her
chin with her finger and pouts her lips a bit, pretending like she’s just had this sudden realization.
But, well. Shauna can tell that Jackie’s been sitting on this piece of information for a while— can
tell that this announcement is purposeful, that it’s premeditated.

But, before Shauna can even attempt to wrap her head around why Jackie seems so interested in
shipping Tai off to her own death, Van is basically asking Jackie that question aloud. She’s gazing
at Jackie all uneasily, eyebrows furrowed and lips twisted into a straight line. “Jackie… what?”
Van asks, gaping at Jackie’s casual shrug. “Do not tell me that you, of all people, are on board with
this stupid-ass—”

“What she’s saying makes sense,” Jackie declares, crossing her arms over her chest. She glances
askance at Shauna, munching on her lip a bit, before slowly flitting her eyes back toward Van.
That gesture, combined with Jackie’s sudden support for an exploration of the woods, prompts
Shauna’s chest to sting. Like, Jackie usually goes out of her way to destroy Tai’s plans and
endeavors, instead of staunchly supporting them. “I mean, if she's willing to go…” Jackie
mumbles, gaze dropping to a pebble on the ground. She kicks it around like a mini soccer ball,
toeing at it with one of her dirt-caked white shoes. “Then…” Jackie trails off, abruptly peering up
at Shauna. Her hazel eyes are unusually intense, gaze so steady that it pricks right at Shauna’s skin.
And, well. Shauna knows what this specific look means, from years upon years of falling victim to
it. Jackie is challenging Shauna, tossing an unspoken dare right in her direction. “Who the fuck are
we to stop her?”

Shauna’s blistering heart can’t handle another pair of guilt-laden talons, clawing and scratching
right at it. Shauna can’t let Tai die in the woods alone, especially since her fucking pregnancy— as
well as her own, daring strategy to free herself from it— initially fueled Tai to set up this whole
expedition. It’s not fair, that Tai is willing to die for Shauna’s mistakes. It’s also not fair, that
Jackie is intentionally going out of her way to egg this shit on.

So, Shauna takes Jackie up on her dare, choosing to speak up against her. She decides to employ
one more last-ditch effort, to guilt-trip Tai into staying at the cabin. Shauna figures it’s more
important to focus on keeping Tai alive, than searching for ways to protect Jackie’s ostensibly
fragile feelings.

“What if you’re wrong?” Shauna cries out, abruptly swiveling around. She spins around to face Tai
so fast, that she nearly tumbles right off of the tree log she is currently sitting on. Jackie lets out
this obnoxious guffaw at the spectacle, glaring at the side of Shauna’s face and thumping her foot
around wildly. “What if there’s just nothing? You’ll just— you’ll just die out there!” Shauna
practically wails, prompting Tai’s face to fall flat. But, of course, Shauna’s mental breakdown is
currently playing for an audience much larger than just Tai. Like, Shauna swears that she can
somehow hear her teammates blinking in confusion, peering around at each other in unanimous
bewilderment. But, well. Shauna can’t find it in her to care, especially with Tai’s foot and absurd
ego halfway out the metaphorical cabin door. “And we— we need you, Tai,” Shauna all but
blubbers, vision misting over with unshed tears. “I don’t— I don’t want you to die.”

Tai frowns, eyes swiveling between Shauna’s face and Shauna’s stomach. She lets out this sigh of
resignation and runs a hand through her hair, right as she remeets Shauna’s foggy eyes. “I'm
leaving in an hour,” Tai resolutely says, voice so stern that Shauna can’t help but gulp. And then,
Tai is marching right past the group and toward the cabin, ungracefully shoving Mari out of her
warpath

Shauna twists around on the dilapidated tree log, watching closely and with an absurd sense of
dread, as Tai disappears behind the cabin’s rickety door. It slams shut and wobbles on its hinges,
filling the awkward silence with a string of squeaky noises.

But then, Jackie clears her throat, slashing through the silence in a calculated manner. The sound
grates at Shauna’s eardrums, stomach bottoming out in fear. Her stomach is clenching and
churning so much, that she honestly feels like she just finished riding Six Flags’ nausea-inducing
Ultra Twister roller coaster.

But, the sound still prompts Shauna to hesitantly swivel back around, her face all screwed up with a
wince. She finds the Yellowjackets beginning to stir again, excitedly whispering and chattering
about Taissa’s audacious plans.

Laura Lee and Lottie chat all covertly to themselves, heads bowed closely together and words
barely above a whisper. Natalie’s eyes are on a never-ending roll, as she listens to Misty rave and
roar about Tai’s courage. Akilah and Mari animatedly chitchat with a forlorn-looking Van,
completely oblivious to the heartbreak currently swimming within her blue irises. And then, after
quickly surveying the rest of the group, Shauna’s eyes instinctively gravitate right toward Jackie’s.

Jackie is standing on the outskirts, about a foot away from the fire pit and the group’s weak excuse
for a huddle. She’s got her scrawny arms wrapped across her chest and her nails digging into her
biceps, hugging herself tightly. There’s a frown playing at the edges of her mouth, chapped lips
curling slightly downward. Her forehead is scrunched up in deep thought, tan skin marred with
shifting crease marks. And, of course, Jackie’s unwavering and unblinking eyes are practically
glued onto Shauna’s brown ones. Flickers of annoyance dance right across her hazel irises, which
are now raking over Shauna’s entire body.

Shauna audibly swallows, desperately fighting against the urge to look away from Jackie’s
goosebump-inducing gaze. Like, Shauna knows that breaking eye contact will probably make her
look guilty of whatever the fuck it is, that Jackie seems to be quietly accusing her of.

So, Shauna matches Jackie’s fiery gaze, trying not to crumble and melt under the blazing glow of
her captivating eyes. It’s a secret stand-off for the ages, so eerily reminiscent of their constantly
underhanded, back-and-forth battles back in Wiskayok.

And, just like their little quarrels back at home, Shauna knows that this one is probably going to
end with her begging stubborn-minded Jackie Taylor for her forgiveness.

Shauna is sitting on the splintering porch, legs danging right off the side of it. Her fingers are
wrapped around the handle of the ax that Van and Tai consistently use to chop firewood, grip so
tight that her knuckles contort into a ghostly shade of white. There’s a gigantic stone in her other
hand, which she is currently scraping the steely edge of the ax against.

Tai is leaving for her expedition in a bit, apparently unpersuaded by Shauna’s desperate pleas. But,
well. Shauna’s reasonable fear of Tai’s outrageous plan has diminished slightly, due in part to her
successful recruitment mission. Miraculously, Tai has somehow managed to convince Mari,
Akilah, Misty, and Van to accompany her on this little trek from hell.

Like, Shauna obviously understands why Van opted to go with Tai, on this suicide mission. She
also supposes that Misty probably agreed to go, in a desperate attempt to impress Coach Scott. But,
Shauna genuinely can’t wrap her head around Mari and Akilah’s decision, whatsoever. It’s so bold
and out of character for Mari, who allows legitimately anything and everything to scare her
shitless. And, well. Akilah is honestly pretty gutsy— but Shauna believes that her decision to go
with Tai has more to do with babysitting Mari, than making sure that Tai stays alive.

Either way, Shauna’s just glad that Tai has some helping hands accompanying her on her
impromptu search for rescue. Like, before the other girls agreed to go with her, Shauna legitimately
begged Tai to let her come on the expedition. But, of course, Shauna’s desperate pleas were met
with a disapproving head shake from Tai and a venomous glare from Jackie. So, instead of going
on the actual journey herself, Shauna figures that she can support the mission by sharpening the
group’s sole weapon.

And, that’s what Shauna is currently doing, while Tai stuffs a hodgepodge of supplies into her
muddied backpack. They are sitting side-by-side in silence, bodies so close that their thighs keep
brushing up against each other. Tai has her head tilted downward, eyes trained on the dinky
compass in her hands. Shauna, however, suddenly feels the urge to look up from her current task.

She spots Lottie and Van across the way, engaging in a fairly intense conversation. They are both
wearing these weirdly solemn faces, as Lottie slips some kind of animal bone into Van’s awaiting
hands. The sight has Shauna lifting an inquisitive eyebrow, while she instinctively bumps her
shoulder right against Tai’s, in a lackluster attempt to get her attention.

“Huh?” Tai mumbles, slowly meeting Shauna’s gaze. Shauna dramatically thrusts an arm toward
Lottie and Van, keeping her eyes trained on Tai’s face. Tai sighs and then reluctantly heeds to
Shauna’s gesture, twisting her head around to face forward. But, of course, Shauna isn’t granted
the opportunity to gauge Tai’s reaction to Lottie and Van’s bizarre exchange. “Jesus… what now,
Jackie?” Tai mutters, rubbing a palm over her face.
Shauna blinks at Tai in confusion, a sudden fog clouding up her brain cells. It’s only when she
suddenly hears the tell-tale sound of Jackie scoffing, that her synapses finally click back into place.
Shauna rips her gaze off of Tai’s side-profile and whirls around, brown eyes unconsciously
swelling right out of their sockets, as soon as she finds Jackie standing in front of them.

She is practically towering over Shauna and Tai, glowering between both of their obnoxiously
perplexed faces. And, well. There must be daggers hidden behind her eyes, because Shauna swears
she can feel her skin stinging under Jackie’s vigilant gaze. “What’re you up to, Shipman?” Jackie
cloyingly asks, voice all saccharine sweet. Shauna shivers, watching in half-terror and
half-bafflement, as Jackie sinks her nails into the meat of her own hips.

“I— uh. Huh?” Shauna murmurs, completely caught off guard. Jackie shoots her another death
glare, while biting the inside of her cheek. And, well. Shauna can’t help but gawk right at her, brain
completely disjointed and scrambled by Jackie’s sudden bout of callousness. “Jax… what is up
with you all of a—”

"Oh!” Jackie proclaims, tilting her head a bit. She plasters a fake smile onto her face, tapping her
foot a bit. “Are you just…” Jackie trails off, puckering her lips up in a sour pout. She then snaps
one of her dainty hands toward the ax, still clenched within Shauna’s rapidly loosening fist.
“Helping Tai sharpen that?” Jackie sweetly finishes, voice dripping with so much fake sugar that
Shauna feels like she just finished eating a fucking packet of Nerds.

“Uh, I—” Shauna stutters, glancing between Jackie’s crooked smile and the ax still nestled within
her hand. Jackie licks her lips, eyeing Shauna like she’s a predator that has just caught its prey.
“Um, yeah. I just— just thought that—”

“Wowza, Shipman!” Jackie proclaims, clapping her hands together. Tai scoffs at the gesture,
rolling her eyes right at Jackie’s absurdly fake smile. “Way to steal one right out of my playbook!”
Jackie adds, widening her eyes in mock surprise. And, fuck. Shauna pales, right as the realization
hits her like a slap across the face. Fuck. The whole butcher’s knife thing.

“Jax…” Shauna placatingly murmurs, before reaching out to grab one of her hands. Jackie
instinctively jerks away, prompting Tai to gape between the two of them in confusion. “It’s— I was
just. Jackie—”

Tai resolutely claps her hands together, before practically leaping right off of the porch. “Alright!”
Tai awkwardly announces, gaze flipping between Shauna’s blank face and Jackie’s seething mug.
Shauna remains frozen, ass practically Gorilla Glue-d to the splintering porch, while Tai slings her
backpack on. “Not really in the mood to get involved in this little reenactment of Beaches…” Tai
snidely remarks, shoving the compass into her back pocket. Jackie rolls her eyes, acting completely
unaffected, by absently picking at a hangnail. “Plus, I think Van and the rest of them are ready to
go, so…” Tai says, thrusting her arms toward Shauna. “Get in here, Shipman,” Tai adds, wiggling
her fingers a bit. And, of course, Shauna obediently stands up and immediately pushes herself right
into Tai’s awaiting arms.

Shauna closes her eyes and drops her chin to Tai’s shoulder with a huff, sinking right into her warm
embrace. But, Shauna only allows herself to fully indulge in Tai’s reassuring hug, for a few brief
seconds. It isn’t long before she is cracking a brown eye back open, just to spare a quick glance
right at Jackie.

And, well. Jackie is sinking her two front teeth right into her chapped lip, biting at it so severely,
that Shauna swears she might actually draw blood. She’s breathing heavily, chest rising and falling
at an absurdly rapid rate. Her hazel eyes look a bit cloudy all of a sudden, hinting at a potential
downpour of tears.
Fuck.

Shauna frantically tears herself out of Tai’s grasp, then awkwardly pats her shoulder. “Thanks…
Tai. For everything. And, uh. Please um, y’know…” Shauna rambles, prompting Tai to raise her
eyebrows. Shauna shifts her weight between both of her legs, nervously squirming around, as Tai
and Jackie both stare her down. “Like… be safe out there!”

Tai light-heartedly chuckles a bit, punching Shauna’s shoulder right back. “Such a way with
words… Shipman. I’ll see you soon, alright?” Tai murmurs, earning a rather jerky head nod from
Shauna, in response. Then, Tai slowly swivels around, before inching closer to Jackie. “And, um…
Jackie. Keep the kids in check while I’m gone, yeah?” Tai sheepishly murmurs, tipping her head
toward the cabin. Jackie rubs at one of her eyes and glances right past Tai, shooting a frown right at
Shauna.

“Fine, yeah. Sure. Whatever,” Jackie spits, tossing a hand up in indifference. Shauna rolls her eyes
at Jackie’s bitter tone, slightly incensed by Jackie’s irrationally petty outburst. Then, Jackie is
upping the ante, plastering another artificial grin onto her tanned face. “Have a great trip, Taissa!
Bring us back a rescue helicopter!” Jackie disingenuously states, eyes flitting back toward Tai. She
puckers her lips up in a pout, dramatically tilting her head to the side, like a dog might. “And, make
sure that you stay safe out there, Tai!” Jackie proclaims, voice loaded with artificial cheer. She
steps closer to Tai and smacks her across the back so ridiculously hard, that Shauna can literally
hear the thump from about a foot away. “Like, I really don’t know what we’d all do, if our fearless
leader died on us!”

Tai scoffs over Jackie’s syrupy sweet delivery, while Shauna gapes over her boldly bitchy verbiage.
“Ok, yeah. I don’t know what the fuck your problem is, Jackie…” Tai firmly states, gripping onto
one of her backpack straps. A smirk creeps onto Jackie’s lips, as she folds her skinny arms over her
chest. “But I don’t fucking care enough, to stick around and figure it out.”

Jackie’s mouth parts open a fraction, almost like she wants to hurl another sassy comment right in
Tai’s face. But, Tai is barreling right past Jackie before she can, bashing her body right against
Jackie’s shoulder. And of course, Jackie is such a fucking twig, that the blunt physical contact has
her stumbling back a bit. Her mouth instinctively latches shut in defeat, right as she manages to
regain her footing and a bit of her composure.

And then, Jackie is copying Tai’s maneuver, tenfold. She grits her teeth and glares at Shauna,
evidently uninterested in sparing Tai another glance. “You’re so…” Jackie agitatedly states, fisting
a hand into her hair. Shauna gulps, watching as her face contorts into a tomato-red color. “I
fucking…” Jackie grits out, clenching her free hand into a fist. And then, Jackie is letting out this
roaringly loud huff, before marching right past Shauna.

She storms toward the front door of the cabin, mumbling a string of indistinct obscenities under her
breath. And, well. Although Shauna’s ears aren’t all that sharp, she swears that she can hear the
words ‘liar’ and ‘Tai,’ spill right out of Jackie’s aggravated mouth.

So, instead of seeing Tai off, Shauna keeps her eyes trained on the back of Jackie’s head. She
watches as Jackie dramatically swings the door open, before slamming it shut behind her. It closes
with a rackety clanking sound, which echoes off of the trees and grates at Shauna’s eardrums.

Shauna’s anxious eyes stay glued to the closed door of the cabin, while her mind reels over
Jackie’s incoherent and illegible temper tantrum.

“Hey…” Shauna cautiously murmurs, grimacing at the stony look on Jackie’s face. She is standing
directly in front of the ladder to the attic, effectively preventing Shauna from escaping to her safe
haven. Her arms are folded directly over her chest, while her eyebrows and eyes are narrowed right
at Shauna’s rapidly paling face. “Uh, everyone's heading down to the lake…” Shauna robotically
remarks, pointing toward the attic. Jackie scoffs and shakes her head, right as Shauna begins to
hesitantly inch closer to the ladder. “So, I'm just gonna go change—”

“Nope,” Jackie all but yelps, lips twisting into a frown. She plants a hand on Shauna’s chest and
lightly pushes her backward, shoving her away from the ladder. “You’re not going anywhere, until
you finally tell me what the hell is going on.”

“What? What are you talking about?” Shauna robotically states, sounding so entirely
unconvincing. And, well. Her acting chops are apparently so fucking terrible, that Jackie can’t help
but scoff in disbelief. But, of course, Shauna’s shortcircuiting brain tells her to continue playing
dumb. “Jackie…” Shauna stoically states, wincing at her own delivery. Jackie squints at her in
offense, before rubbing at her temples in irritation. “Nothing's going on.”

Jackie jerkily bobs her head up and down, pursing her lips into a straight line. “Yeah, mhm…”
Jackie cloyingly hums, inching closer to Shauna’s face. Then, Jackie is abruptly pushing her
forehead right up against Shauna’s, staring her dead in the eyes. Fuck. “Okay… liar,” Jackie
venomously spits, a menacing smile playing on her lips. And, well. Shauna’s natural instinct is
always to run like a chicken without a head, so she immediately shoves Jackie away and makes a
beeline straight for the rusty ladder. But, for the first time ever, Jackie manages to fucking stop her.
“No, no. You do not just get to run out of here!” Jackie shouts, before forcibly shoving Shauna
away from the ladder. Shauna stumbles over her own feet, crashing right into a neighboring wall,
as Jackie stomps over to the ladder. And, of course, Shauna’s back hits a low-hanging shelf—
causing a rusty can to clatter onto the floor. But, thankfully, Shauna isn’t the only one that currently
looks like an absolute clown. She rubs at her back and winces, while she watches Jackie wrestle
with the steely ladder. “Oh, my God!” Jackie bemoans, blowing a few errant strands of hair out of
her face. She huffs and puffs as she wraps her hands around one of the ladder’s rungs, desperately
trying to shove it upward. “Why are these so heavy? What the—”

“Are you fucking done?” Shauna exclaims, voice laced with irritation. She pulls herself away from
the dust-covered shelf, before angrily kicking at the can now spinning on the floor. “Like, what the
fuck was—”

“No, I'm not done!” Jackie wails, tears piling at the corners of her eyes. Shauna’s stomach
immediately clenches at the sight, while her chest begins to tighten with fear and guilt. “You're
obviously hiding something from me, and it's making me feel crazy!” Jackie exclaims, throwing
her trembling arms into the air. Shauna audibly swallows, slowly stepping toward Jackie, like a
dog with its tail between its legs. “Remember when your parents first separated and you told me
the reason your dad wasn't around as much was because he got a new job as the president at Hello
Kitty?” Jackie asks, right as Shauna manages to plant her hands on Jackie’s biceps. She clumsily
bounces her in response to Jackie’s question, as she slides her palms up and down Jackie’s bony
arms. “That was more convincing than you're being, right now.”

Shauna sighs, before squeezing Jackie’s biceps in reassurance. “Jax, babe. I swear to God, there is
nothing going on…” Shauna lies, straight through her teeth. And, Jackie must have built up a
sudden immunity to Shauna’s infectious dishonesty, because she is shaking her head and bawling.
“Hey… hey,” Shauna coos, slipping her hands off of Jackie’s upper arms. She immediately uses
them to cup Jackie’s jaw, until Jackie manages to angrily bat Shauna’s hands right off of her tear-
stained face. “Babe, I’m not—”

“I’m not fucking blind, Shauna!” Jackie sobs, smashing her foot against the creaky floor. Her voice
comes out so high-pitched and squawky, that Shauna’s ears legitimately ring from hearing it. “I've
seen you sneaking around and whispering with Taissa. Not to mention you acting all distant and
weird for weeks!” Jackie indignantly laments, beating a weak fist against Shauna’s chest. She
instantly catches Jackie’s restless hand by the wrist, tugging her hyperactive arm away from her
already aching chest. “So, fucking tell me the truth!” Jackie hoarsely states, water and mucus
filling her vocal cords. She tugs her arm out of Shauna’s grasp, alternating between sniffling and
crying. “Like, I can’t— I can’t…” Jackie incoherently rambles, right as another wave of tears
surges out of her eyes. She covers her face with her hands, muffling her words a little bit. “I don’t
want you to— to… with—”

Shauna yanks Jackie against her chest, wrapping her up in a tight embrace. She leans down and
kisses the crown of her head, attempting to blink back her own tears. “I swear, nothing’s going on,”
Shauna mumbles, earning a sniffle from Jackie. “Me and Tai have just been uh… talking about
Lottie.” Liar. “We’re both skeeved out by her, but we didn’t wanna shit-talk her to the whole
group.” Fucking liar. “And, I don’t know. I think I’ve just been distant, because I don’t really
know how you feel about Lottie.” Jesus Christ… liar.

“Really? That’s it? You’ve just been… shitting on Lottie?” Jackie giddily whispers, right against
Shauna’s chest. Shauna squeezes her eyes shut and nods, biting back the bile now creeping up her
throat. And, as per usual, Shauna’s not quite sure if this sudden spurt of nausea is a byproduct of
the baby or her guilt. “You promise?” Jackie abruptly murmurs, cutting Shauna right out of her
daze. And then, Jackie is pulling back a bit, gazing at Shauna with her big doe eyes and fluttery
eyelashes.

So, of course, Shauna slowly nods her head in faux reassurance. And, well. A wave of relief
instantly flashes over Jackie’s face, prompting her lips to turn up in a sheepish grin. “Yeah, I— I
promise,” Shauna then blurts out, watching as Jackie’s face lights up even more. She hooks a
finger into the necklace dangling from Shauna’s neck, absently twisting the golden chain around
her slender digit. “And, uh. Now that, y’know. Tai’s gone…” Shauna coyly murmurs, prompting
Jackie to perk all the way back up— in seconds. She tilts her head to the side and gazes up at
Shauna with lovesick eyes, a knowing little smirk playing on her lips. And, yeah. Shauna feels bad
that she is able to manipulate Jackie so easily, dismantling her guard and all of her sneaking
suspicions with little to no effort. But, Shauna would honestly rather feel like shit for the rest of her
life, than risk losing Jackie forever. “Maybe you could like, come sleep with me in the attic?”

The reaction is legitimately instantaneous, with Jackie letting out this obnoxiously enthusiastic
squeal. And then, Jackie is dropping the necklace, in favor of squishing both of Shauna’s cheeks
up. “Duh,” Jackie cheekily murmurs, playfully rolling her eyes. She leans in and presses a kiss to
Shauna’s puckered-up lips, before pulling back with a little grin. “I thought you’d never ask,
Shauna Shipman.”

Shauna plasters on a phony smile, munching on her crooked lip, in a desperate attempt to prevent
herself from screaming. And, well. Jackie appears none-the-wiser, apparently too wrapped up in
her romantic feelings, to even notice the downright sketchy look on Shauna’s face.

She loosens her grip on Shauna’s cheeks, before practically skipping towards the attic ladder. Her
eyes are soft and her grin is fucking gigantic, covering up half of her pretty face. She looks so cute,
so innocent, so hopelessly in love.

The sight makes Shauna’s heart sting, instead of sing. It makes Shauna feel like Jackie just plowed
a sharpened ice pick right through her chest, allowing her to bleed out on the cabin’s dusty old
floor.
She really should’ve tried harder at convincing Tai, to let her go on that stupid suicide mission.

“Everyone’s still at the lake… don’t you think we should uh, take advantage?”

Shauna is laying on her make-shift bed, staring blankly at the exposed wooden beams, lining the
attic ceiling. She is attempting to ignore the throbbing ache between her legs, which Jackie seems
absolutely hell-bent on exacerbating. Because, of course, Jackie is currently straddling Shauna’s
hips. She’s also wiggling a suggestive eyebrow right at her, licking her lips in a way that makes
Shauna shiver all over.

“I… uh,” Shauna stammers, tearing her eyes away from the ceiling. She looks down, finding Jackie
already gazing at her, with dark eyes. There is a mischievous smirk playing on her lips, which
Shauna just can’t seem to tear her eyes away from. “I don’t think we should, y’know. Risk it…”
Shauna weakly murmurs, lust fogging up her brain. Her stomach starts to swirl up with butterflies,
their wings fluttering in a way that somehow worsens her sudden bout of baby-induced nausea.

“Oh, yeah?” Jackie tuts, trailing her fingertips up Shauna’s chest. Shauna somehow manages to
nod, even though her brain currently feels like a melted-down scoop of ice cream. “Well, I think
that we should risk it…” Jackie whispers, dropping her voice an octave. Shauna legitimately
whimpers in response, heading spinning from the lethal combination of stress and emotional
turmoil. “C’mon, baby. I want you so bad… right now,” Jackie murmurs, leaning in a bit.

“Ok, but uh… Jackie,” Shauna frantically proclaims, fear coursing through her bloodstream like a
potent drug. Clothes have to stay on, no matter what. “Jax, I just— I don’t want to, uh—”

Jackie slants her lips against Shauna’s own, abruptly cutting her right off. And, well. Shauna’s
defenses crumble like a shitty sandcastle, as soon as Jackie moans into her mouth. The sound is
enough to coerce Shauna into losing herself in the kiss, pushing her to wrap a hand into Jackie’s
light brown waves. Her other hand automatically clutches onto Jackie’s bony hip, while both of
Jackie’s hands begin to restlessly scratch and clutch at various parts of Shauna's body.

It’s like Jackie can’t get enough of Shauna, with the way she is feverishly kissing her and grabbing
at her all greedily. She runs a hand through Shauna’s hair, tugging roughly at it. She grasps the
necklace looped around Shauna’s neck, twirling it between her fingers. She clumsily cups Shauna’s
sore boob, prompting a strangled cry to escape from the back of Shauna's throat. An electric shock
of pleasure does manage to shoot up Shauna’s spine, but Shauna decides to focus on the dull wave
of pain now coursing through her chest, instead.

And, well. That’s enough to remind Shauna, that they seriously shouldn’t be doing this right now.
Like, there’s no chance in hell that she can allow Jackie to feel her up, especially since she could
easily end up touching her stupid fucking stomach. She doesn’t want Jackie to feel the baby
swimming around inside of there— the baby, that’s half-Shauna, half-Jeff. God, yuck.

Shauna’s stomach bottoms out at the mere thought of Jeff, instantaneously cooling her off in
seconds. So, Shauna automatically begins attempting to push Jackie off, to absolutely no avail. She
continues to kiss Shauna furiously, as her hands begin to slide even further South. Fuck.

“Jax,” Shauna sternly states, in between kisses. Jackie purposely ignores Shauna, focusing all of
her attention on unbuttoning Shauna’s shorts. The heat shooting through Shauna’s lower abdomen
is back, coursing through her like a tidal wave, right as Jackie manages to pop open the button.
“This isn’t— isn’t a good time,” Shauna manages to choke out, before Jackie moves her lips to
Shauna’s neck.
She scrapes her teeth against the delicate skin of Shauna’s throat, causing Shauna to gasp in
surprise. “I think it is,” Jackie murmurs, kissing this sensitive spot right underneath Shauna’s jaw.
Shauna immediately groans in response, hips automatically jerking up. “Nobody’s around to
interrupt us…” Jackie cloyingly whispers, as her nimble fingers grasp onto the zipper of Shauna’s
jean shorts. Shauna’s heart rate picks up, pulsing at the same beat as the thrum between her legs.
“Shauna—”

Shauna reaches down and snatches Jackie’s wrist, provoking an aggravated huff to slip out of her
overly-enthusiastic lips. She then leans back, gaping down at Shauna, in sheer annoyance. “Jax. I
seriously don’t think this is a good idea,” Shauna mumbles, prompting Jackie to roll her eyes. She
bites her lip, before wringing her hand right out of Shauna’s grip. And then, Jackie is purposefully
plastering this seductive little smirk onto her kiss-swollen lips, deliberately making Shauna falter.
“Don’t you think we should wait, until—”

“Don’t you wanna fuck me?” Jackie purrs, cutting Shauna right off. And, well. Shauna legitimately
freezes, shivers rolling through her entire body. She covers her face with her hands, suddenly
wishing that she could just thrash her legs around and scream. Like, God, Shauna wants to. But, she
fucking can’t. “Shauna…” Jackie then hums, circling Shauna’s wrists. She then pulls Shauna’s
hands away from her face, before roughly pinning them to the ground. “Don’t you wanna—”

“Not right now!” Shauna all but shouts, ripping her hands out of Jackie’s grasp. She
unceremoniously shoves Jackie out of her warm lap, allowing her to topple right onto the cold
floor. Jackie winces, while a mixture of confusion and insecurity, immediately flickers across her
tanned features. “I can’t— I can’t do this. Not right now,” Shauna resolutely states, rebuttoning her
shorts. And, well. Jackie’s suddenly sobbing all over again, covering up her smudged mascara and
tear-stained face with her hands. “Jax, baby. It’s not you, it’s me…” Shauna murmurs, prompting
Jackie to cry even harder. And, yeah. Shauna instinctively grimaces too, right as her shortcircuiting
brain finally registers that she just let a cliché breakup line, tumble right out of her mouth. “No,
wait. Fuck. It’s not… I didn’t mean it like that,” Shauna reassures, grabbing at Jackie’s wrists. She
attempts to pull Jackie’s hands away from her face, but Jackie somehow manages to steel up. Jackie
like, won’t budge at all, with her body all stiff and rigid— like a slab of concrete. “I just… I’m not
in the mood today, that’s all. I’m just so worried about—”

“Tai!” Jackie finishes with a shriek, tearing her hands away from her face. She then shakes them
right out of Shauna’s grasp, before angrily springing upward. “I can’t deal with this bullshit right
now. I’m going to the lake,” Jackie spits, eyes filled with an intense amount of rage. Shauna
immediately shrinks further down into her pillow, while Jackie begins to pace around the room.
“Once you’re ready to stop making me look like a fucking idiot, just… y’know. Let me fucking
know!” Jackie wails, before turning around and kicking the fucking wall. Shauna immediately
jumps to her feet, rushing over to Jackie, as soon as she staggers back. She groans in pain, clutching
her injured foot, as she feebly attempts to balance on the other one.

“Here…” Shauna soothes, sinking to her knees. She reaches for the foot Jackie is currently
holding, but Jackie legitimately hops away from her. And somehow, Jackie manages to get all the
way to the attic ladder, by hopping on one fucking foot. “Jackie…“ Shauna exasperatedly
grumbles, jutting a palm into her eye socket. “Just fucking sit down. Let me look at—”

“Don’t act like you give a shit,” Jackie accuses, crossing her arms over her chest. She’s got her bad
foot lifted off of the ground, while a scowl makes its way onto her lips. “I’m not Tai, so… who
fucking cares!”

Shauna gapes at her like a deer-in-headlights, head spinning with confusion. “What?” Shauna blurts
out, urging Jackie to scoff. The sound makes Shauna’s blood pressure skyrocket, irritation and
 annoyance now curling through her veins. “Jackie, I fucking love you. What the fuck is up with
you, all of a—”

“Save it,” Jackie announces, waving a dismissive hand through the air. And then, before Shauna
can even open her rapidly drying mouth, Jackie is twisting around and hobbling down the attic
ladder. She winces and whimpers as her freshly-bruised foot hits each individual rung, until she
finally manages to make her way to the first floor of the cabin.

Shauna remains frozen, knees uncomfortably digging into the hardened attic floor. She hears the
front door slam open and closed, but remains glued to the dilapidated wood. It’s like her brain has
suddenly shut off, right after locking her muscles up as some sick form of collateral damage.

She blinks at Tai’s vacant pillow, still laid out on the attic floor, before breaking down into a fit of
tears.

Chapter End Notes

coming up: tai comes back with an injured van. jackie finds out about shaunas
pregnancy... after um, a lot of drama and a huge meltdown.
 baby bombshell
Chapter Summary

“Thanks,” Jackie whispers, voice so shaky that it honestly sounds like a breath. Shauna
nods, running a hand through her half-damp hair. “We should uh… talk. There’s
obviously um…” Jackie trails off, glancing right at Shauna’s stomach. The skin on
Shauna’s abdomen burns, even with the thick fabric of her Wiskayok ringer tee,
protecting it. “A lot of stuff we need to—”

“I’m so sorry, Jax…” Shauna automatically blurts out, right as tears begin to leak from
her eyes. She knows that she has no right to be crying like this, considering how badly
she has hurt Jackie. But, well. The tears flow of their own accord, no matter how hard
Shauna tries to stop them. “I fucked up— I fucked up, so bad. I wish I waited, I really
do,” Shauna thickly sobs, vocal cords saturated with mucus. Jackie just stares at her,
raking her eyes up and down Shauna’s body. Shauna can’t stand to look at Jackie’s
doe eyes right now, so she covers her face with her hands. “God, I just, I’m so—”

Or: Jackie finds out Shauna is pregnant

Chapter Notes

this chapter is absolutely so unhinged. id like to thank covid, national nj day, and my
short attention span.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

July 25th, 1996

The pungent, rusty smell of fresh blood wafts through Shauna’s nose, smothering her breath and
pushing her eyes to water. Van’s shrill howls whirl through Shauna’s eardrums, encouraging the
ear-piercing sound to rattle around in her brain. Shauna winces at the smell of Van’s blood, the
sound of Van’s pain-filled moans, and the sight of Van’s torn-apart flesh. It’s already a gruesome
sensory overload, but Shauna’s anxiety miraculously worsens, right as Jackie begins to shoot
sidelong glances her way.

Jackie’s barely talked to Shauna since the incredibly awkward attic incident, opting to avoid her
like the plague, instead. She’s spent the last few days yapping with Nat about, quite honestly, the
most nonsensical things in the world. Like, obviously, Shauna has eavesdropped on a number of
their conversations. And, of course, Shauna’s had the privilege of overhearing bits and pieces of
Nat's drama-dumping. According to Nat, she and Travis have been screwing on the hunting job,
getting handsy with things other than the hunting rifle.

Shauna has also overheard Jackie’s girlish laughter a groundbreaking number of times this week,
each bout apparently inspired by one of Natalie’s fucking outstanding jokes. They’ve been hanging
around on the porch and sharing sips from that fucking Smirnoff bottle, acting like a mismatched
pair of drunken idiots. Like, it is so unlike Jackie, to pound down hard liquor and get all sloppy…
during the fucking daytime. But, well. It’s also so unlike Jackie, to ignore Shauna, for days on end.

Like, apparently, Jackie’s too stubborn to listen to Shauna’s burgeoning concerns. Shauna has tried
to apologize to Jackie for the attic sex swerve, but Jackie has just been drunkenly waving her off,
mumbling incoherent obscenities under her Vodka-scented breath. She’s been waltzing around the
cabin like a brain-dead zombie— alternating between gossiping with Natalie, guzzling down
Smirnoff with Natalie… and shooting Shauna death glares.

Jackie is firing one of those patented death glares in Shauna’s direction presently, eyebrows
narrowed and lips constricted in a tight pucker. The hardened glower wrinkling up Jackie’s face
makes Shauna’s skin prickle all over, goosebumps lining her arms and neck. But, thankfully, Jackie
tears her harsh gaze away from Shauna’s face fairly fast.

Van lets out this blood-curdling shriek, the sharp sound bursting through the room like an
unobstructed piece of shrapnel. It quickly steals Jackie’s unadulterated attention, effectively
yanking the spotlight off of Shauna’s frowning face. But, well. Jackie is wincing at the grisly sight
and scrunching her hazel eyes shut just as quickly, wrenching her head to the side. She slides a
shaky palm over her rapidly paling face, staring at a nearby wall, instead of at the botched medical
procedure taking place in front of them.

Shauna’s morbid fascination prevents her from mirroring Jackie’s behavior, pushing her to keep her
eyes trained on Van’s mangled face. It’s easily the most grisly sight to sweep across Shauna’s
weary eyes, which is honestly kind of impressive, all things considered.

She’s slashed a knife through a variety of dead animals’ stomachs, bearing witness to maggot-
infested guts and rotted-out organs. She watched Allie’s leg snap like a twig, grimacing at the
blood-stained turf and the way Allie’s jagged bone ripped right through her skin. She saw Coach
Scott’s tattered leg, both before and after, Misty sliced it clean off with an ax. Shauna has seen
Lottie ram her head through a glass window, has seen Van nearly burn alive, has seen blood and
soot-covered plane crash survivors stumbling around. She’s seen a plethora of extremely awful
things within such an incredibly short period of time, but nothing quite compares to this.

Van, with a massive chunk of her cheek torn off. Van, with her molars on full display. Van, with
blood gushing from several deep gashes, now marring the pale skin of her face. Van, crying and
screaming, while Akilah pokes a bent-up paper clip through her ripped-open skin. Van, writhing in
pain, while thin strands of thread begin to stitch her mottled skin back together. Van, legitimately
passing out, from the discomfort and distress.

Shauna watches Akilah closely, extremely intrigued by the plastic surgery skills she has apparently
been hiding beneath her Billabong belt. “I… um. I think those stitches should hold… for now?”
Akilah murmurs, prompting Shauna’s gaze to shift from her medically-skilled hands to her nervous
eyes. Akilah is looking between Tai’s frowning face and Van’s closed-over eyes, clearly
attempting to gauge how extensive the damage truly is. “But I uh… won’t lie to you. Her risk for
infection is like, off-the-charts,” Akilah painfully admits, with a gulp. Shauna watches as Tai
wrings her hands together and nibbles at her lip, evidently grappling with that unfortunate bit of
information. “I think it’s best if I stay up and keep those cuts clean with Jackie’s Sea Breeze. Why
don’t you go get some rest… Tai?”

Tai’s face contorts into a deep scowl, gaping at Akilah like she’s just said something absolutely
egregious. “What?” Taissa basically wheezes out, gazing between Van’s limp form and Akilah’s
rapidly slumping shoulders. She then wipes at her blood-stained forehead, while blinking away the
tears that have begun to pool in the wells of her eye sockets. “Do you really think that I’m gonna be
able to sleep, knowing that Van is literally bleeding out down here?” Taissa exasperatedly inquires,
voice all rough around the edges. She squints her eyes at Akilah’s nervous face, creasing up her
forehead with taut wrinkles. “Are you fucking insane? I’m not going anywhere! I’m staying down
here, so I can keep an eye on—”

“Tai… c’mon,” Shauna automatically blurts out, gaining Tai’s full attention. She then cocks her
head toward the archway to the pantry, offering her a wan smile. “Akilah’s right. You carried Van
all the way here and it's gotta be like, two in the morning,” Shauna murmurs, cautiously worming
her way toward Tai. She drapes a light hand on Tai’s shoulder, which instantaneously makes Tai
flinch and jump to her feet. “Let’s go get some rest, that way you won’t be super tired when you
watch her tom—”

“I can’t go to sleep!” Tai snaps, slapping Shauna’s hand right off of her. It’s so blunt and graceless
that Shauna can’t help but gawk, especially since Tai consistently manages to preserve her
composure. Tai then immediately softens, eye-bags sagging and scowl withering, right as Shauna
begins to look at her with pleading eyes. “I shouldn’t. It’s not—”

“Akilah is going to take good care of her…” Shauna soothes, reaching out and squeezing Tai’s
bicep. Tai legitimately looks like she could collapse at any given moment, exhaustion making her
appear weaker than a wilting flower. “And you’re fucking exhausted. Van’s gonna need you in tip-
top shape and spirits tomorrow, Turner,” Shauna lightly teases, earning a barely-there smile in
return. “So, let’s go get some shut-eye in… just for a little bit.”

“I swear I’ll come and get you if anything changes, Tai. But, she honestly seems fine right now,”
Akilah murmurs, peeking over at the slow rise and fall of Van’s chest. She’s sleeping soundly in
front of the fireplace, mouth slightly parted and face somewhat puffy from all the fake stitches. “I
think she just needs to rest… and, um. Shauna’s right. You could really use the rest, too.”

Tai lets out this deep sigh, which immediately morphs into this resoundingly loud yawn. Shauna
pins her with a knowing look, widening her eyes and smirking a bit. “Alright… fuck,” Tai
eventually concedes, waving a sluggish hand at Shauna. “I’ll go lay in the fucking attic. Are you
happy now?” Tai barks, rubbing at her sleep-filled eyes.

Shauna bites the inside of her cheek and grabs Tai’s hand, opting to keep her mouth closed. She is
really not in the mood to exacerbate Tai’s stress-induced bitchiness, so she instantly tugs her
toward the pantry, without much of an afterthought. And, it’s only when she manages to
successfully push a rather petulant Tai through the archway, that she turns around and offers the
sleepy group a curt wave. Most of the Yellowjackets copy the gesture, tossing up their own
sluggish hands and yawning, in response.

Jackie, however, remains absolutely stoic. She is standing right near the fireplace, with her glassy
eyes fixated on the dwindling, orange blaze. The flames cast a faint glow across her features,
highlighting the frown lines that currently cut right into her face. Dying embers dance within her
hazel irises, accentuating the steely look in her eyes. She looks absolutely lifeless, emotionally
drained from God knows what.

“Shauna,” Tai yawns, feet smacking against the rusty ladder. Of course, Shauna hesitantly swivels
around, finding Tai halfway up the attic ladder. “You coming?”

“I— uh,” Shauna mumbles, sparing one more quick glance at Jackie. The rest of the girls have
begun to tuck themselves into their respective sleeping spots, resting their heads on their lumpy
pillows and curling up underneath their blotchy blankets. Jackie remains standing, eyes still
ghoulishly glued to the simmering fire. “Yeah,” Shauna absently mumbles, before tearing her gaze
away from Jackie. She swiftly tip-toes toward the ladder, before placing her foot on the bottom
rung. “Let’s crash for a bit.”
The two quickly scurry up the creaky steps and settle onto the cold attic floor, shoving their
pillows behind their heads and pulling their blankets up to their chins. Tai lays on her back, glassy
eyes trained on the multitude of cracks, lining the wooden ceiling. She lets out this despondent
sigh, the sound echoing off of the rickety beams and thin walls. Shauna instinctively shifts onto her
side and tucks a hand beneath her cheek, studying the sullen look on Tai’s blood-tinged face.

“I let the fire die down,” Taissa suddenly admits, voice barely above a whisper. It’s shaky and
hoarse, so unlike her regularly loud and proud tone. Shauna’s chest tightens, hand instinctively
darting toward Tai’s shoulder. “I fell asleep. And I— I must have been sleepwalking or
something…” Tai mumbles, tears swelling at the corners of her eyes. Shauna’s lips automatically
twist into a frown, heart hurting over Tai’s sorrow. “Because, uh. When I woke up, I was in a
fucking tree,” Tai tearily proclaims, voice husky from the mucus lining her throat. She sucks in a
sharp breath, before slowly huffing it out. “I'm the reason she went…” Tai slowly admits,
squeezing her eyes shut. She shifts onto her side, facing away from Shauna’s gentle eyes. “And I'm
the reason she got hurt.”

“Hey, no…” Shauna soothes, rubbing her hand up and down the length of Tai’s arm. She hears
Tai’s voice crack, this little whimper spilling right out of her throat. It pulls at Shauna’s
heartstrings, seeing Tai like this. She’s usually so reserved and steely, hiding all of her emotions
behind a thick slab of ice. But, well. The wolf attack— plus, like, whatever else went down out
there— has her icy veneer melting, at a rapid pace. “It’s not—”

“I don't know what's happening to me, Shauna…” Tai blubbers, voice and body quivering a bit.
Shauna squeezes her bicep, before nuzzling closer to Tai. “I'm scared to go to sleep."

“Then I'll stay awake, okay?” Shauna murmurs, shifting her hand down and slinging it around
Tai’s stomach. She nestles her head onto Tai’s shoulder, yawning a bit herself. “And I won't let you
go anywhere,” Shauna firmly states, earning a broken sigh in response. Tai’s muffled sobs fill
Shauna’s eardrums, pushing goosebumps to arise all across Shauna’s skin. “Shh…” Shauna
soothes, clutching her tighter. Tai melts into the embrace a bit, stiff body loosening up slightly. Her
cries continue to slowly soften, before they cease altogether. “You'll be fine.”

Tai’s rapid breathing eventually evens out, slowing all the way down to an incredibly subdued
pace, once her sleepiness finally overtakes her. Shauna sits up a bit and glances down at Tai’s face,
finding her eyes closed and her lips slightly parted. The serene look on Tai’s previously guilt-
stricken face makes Shauna smile a bit to herself, before she swiftly nestles her cheek back against
Tai’s shoulder.

Shauna huffs out a relieved sigh and closes her eyes, grateful that Van somehow managed to
survive a literal wolf attack. She’s grateful that Akilah and Misty both made it back in one piece,
ready to service the group with their tremendous survival and medical skills. Shauna’s honestly
even grateful to have Mari back in the cabin, big-ass mouth and petty attitude, included.

And, well. Shauna is glad that Tai didn’t die some unfair death while attempting to find a less
dangerous solution, to her ongoing baby predicament. She’s also abundantly grateful to have Tai
back, particularly because she is legitimately the only person that she can talk to, about this whole
pregnancy ordeal. Tai is honestly the only person that has Shauna’s back, besides Jackie.

So, Shauna tightens her hold on Tai’s stomach and closes her eyes, silently thanking the Man
Upstairs for bringing all of her teammates back. She lets out one final little huff from the side of
her mouth before legitimately passing out, stress levels diminishing with each shallow intake of
breath.
The staccato beat of raindrops, pitter-pattering against the frail cabin roof, stirs Shauna awake. Her
groggy mind instinctively begins to sputter back to life, but she decides to keep her eyes latched
firmly shut. She sinks her fingers even deeper into the fabric of Tai’s shirt, provoking a sleepy little
hum to escape from Tai’s mouth. Shauna then readjusts her head, smushing her cheek right up
against Tai’s shoulder, with a sigh. The drizzling noises are so soothing, that nature’s lullaby
threatens to coerce Shauna back into a deep sleep.

Well, the rain noises threaten to knock Shauna out cold, but they ultimately fail to accomplish their
mission. Before the cascading shower can fully lull Shauna back to sleep, something jabs her shin,
causing a dull ache to pulse there. It makes Shauna groan into Tai’s shoulder, right as another blunt
smack causes pain to radiate across her bone. “Fuck, Tai. Calm down,” Shauna sleepily murmurs,
boldly assuming that Tai is accidentally kicking her. But, well. As soon as Shauna tightens the arm
she has wrapped around Tai’s stomach, a harsher blow strikes her shin, compelling her to wince.
She then wrenches her eyes open, murky gaze glued to the short strands of hair, lining the back of
Tai’s head.

A theatrical cough suddenly bursts through the room like an atomic bomb, instantaneously driving
Shauna’s stomach to drop and Shauna’s eyes to widen. Shauna honestly feels like she is the lead
protagonist of a horror movie— like, she is genuinely fearful that she is about to come face-to-face
with the big bad— as she then hesitantly shifts her head away from Tai’s shoulder.

Standing right before her eyes, is a sight somehow more terrifying and menacing, than Freddy
Krueger or Michael Meyers. Jackie is scowling down at Shauna with her arms crossed firmly over
her chest, jagged fingernails digging painfully into the meat of her biceps. Speckles of blood
dribble from the little lacerations on Jackie’s arms, while her fingernails glisten from the sticky red
substance. Shauna roughly gulps down a lump in her throat, right as Jackie’s gaze slowly glides
downward.

She stares at the arm Shauna has looped around Tai’s abdomen, before gradually lifting her gaze
back to Shauna’s face. Jackie shakes her head, eyes filling with tears, while Shauna practically
jerks her hand off of Tai. Shauna then scrambles to sit up against her pillow, goosebumps sprouting
up all over her body. And, well. Of course, Tai stirs from all of the sudden movement, rubbing her
eyes and propping herself up on her elbows. “Jackie?” Tai mumbles, voice all gravelly with sleep.
She yawns, gazing between Jackie and Shauna, with a frown. “The fuck is your problem? Can’t
Shauna and I like, sleep without your permission?”

Jackie’s eye legitimately twitches as soon as those words slip from Tai’s lips, jaw clenching and
eyebrows narrowing. And then, before Shauna can even attempt to say anything, Jackie is stealing
a play from Shauna’s playbook. She tears her nails out of her arms, then books it down the rusty
ladder. But, Shauna’s quick on her coat-tails, after allowing her fatigued body to fully function on
auto-pilot.

She’s leaping to her feet and hauling ass down the ladder like a bolt of lightning, opting to ignore
all of Tai’s confused remarks and exasperated scoffs. It’s like her brain has completely shut off and
her body has begun to move of its own accord, as she somehow manages to dodge the bodies of all
of her sleeping teammates. And then, Shauna is rushing out the front door and into the pouring
rain, trailing so closely after Jackie that she nearly flat-tires her.

“Jackie— Jax. Baby, babe. Sweetie,” Shauna incoherently rambles, voice pitching higher and
higher. Jackie stays silent, shaking her head and marching forward. The rain picks up in speed and
intensity, water droplets falling from the sky so rapidly, that they sting Shauna’s face like little
needles. “It’s not— sweetheart…” Shauna sputters, still scrambling behind Jackie. Shauna then
nearly slips and falls on a wet leaf, but somehow manages to regain her footing. “Jax… we were
just—”

Jackie rounds on her then, the motion so abrupt that Shauna instinctively shuffles backward and
almost slips on the exact same fucking leaf. She lunges at Shauna before she really manages to get
her bearings together, jabbing a finger right into Shauna’s chest. “You might be smarter than me
when it comes to stupid school shit, but you can’t fucking fool me. I’m not like, a total fucking
idiot, Shauna!” Jackie wails, tears and raindrops mixing on her face. Shauna immediately shrinks,
withering under the heat of Jackie’s gaze. “I knew it! This whole— this whole fucking time. You’ve
been— you’ve been boning Tai!”

Shauna’s jaw drops to the forest floor, heading spinning like a graceless ballerina. “Jackie, no I’m
not!” Shauna breathlessly exclaims, earning a rather rigid head shake from Jackie, in return. Her
heart is pulsing in her throat, eyes trained on Jackie’s teary eyes and drenched hair. “I would— I
would never do that!” Shauna exclaims, instinctively extending her arms out. She attempts to
swoop in and hug Jackie, to no avail.

Jackie lifts her finger off of Shauna’s chest, using that hand to bat Shauna’s arms away. “You’re
such a fucking liar!” Jackie tearfully hisses, balling her hands into fists. She then begins to beat
them— fairly ungracefully, moderately harshly— against Shauna’s chest, thrashing her skinny
arms around all erratically. Shauna winces and writhes under Jackie’s aimless blows, while
comically failing to grab ahold of Jackie’s wrists. “How could you do this to me, huh? Was I just
not good enough for you?” Jackie seethes, still ramming her hands against Shauna’s chest. The
tears are falling from her eyes even harder now, cascading down her cheeks, faster than the rain is
falling from above. “How could you cheat on me with—”

“I’m fucking not!” Shauna spits, finally grabbing hold of Jackie’s bony wrists. She uses her grip to
yank Jackie’s arms down, holding them tightly, against Jackie’s sides. “I— I swear,” Shauna
stutters, prompting Jackie’s eyebrows to narrow. She rips her hands out of Shauna’s grip, before
immediately beginning to rub at her own temples in distress. “It wasn’t… wasn’t what it—”

“Oh!” Jackie cloyingly murmurs, voice all saccharine sweet. And, of course, Jackie then yanks her
hands away from her temples and plants them back on Shauna’s chest. “It wasn’t what it looked
like?” Jackie mocks, jerking her head back and forth. She then shoves Shauna back an inch, before
covering her teary eyes with her palms. “Hate to break it to you, Shauna! But I’m not fucking
blind!” Jackie roars, wind and rain howling all around her.

Her pajamas are drenched, water dribbling from the sopping fabric of her beach-themed matching
set. Jackie is shaking like a goddamn leaf, but Shauna isn’t quite sure if it's because she’s freezing,
or if it's because she’s so fucking agitated. But, well. Either way, Shauna can’t help but shiver too.
The relentless rain, combined with seeing Jackie like this, is honestly enough to give her
hypothermia.

“Before you moved into that fucking attic with Tai… you were all over me!” Jackie suddenly
bellows, jerking her hands off of her face. She quickly fists them into her soaking wet locks,
yanking at her own hair so roughly, that water literally leaks out of the top of her head. “Now it’s
like— like you want nothing to do with me! You won’t let me touch you, you won’t let me sleep in
the attic with you…” Jackie trails off, voice quivering. Shauna’s heart clenches, guilt rushing
through her like a tidal wave. “And like, half the time, it’s a battle to even kiss you! It’s like you’ve
been purposefully dodging me, to go hang out with stupid fucking Tai. And— and… you were
never like this. This all started once you started sleeping in the goddamn attic!”

“Ok…” Shauna tentatively mumbles, her brain basically a heap of scrambled eggs, at this point.
Jackie scoffs, leveling Shauna with her sharpened eyes and her clenched jaw. “I know I’ve been…
distant. But, Jackie, I swear it’s not because I’ve been—”

“I just fucking caught you up there, all cuddled up with her, Shauna! Are you seriously gonna keep
lying straight to my face?” Jackie spits, face contorted in a deep scowl. Shauna sucks in a shaky
breath and rubs her slippery palms over her freezing cheeks, desperately fighting to regain her
composure. “So, what is it about her, huh?” Jackie grits out, teeth clenched and head tilted to the
side. She stalks closer to Shauna with a scowl on her face, goading Shauna into instinctively
shuffling backward. “Is it because she’s smarter than me?” Jackie inquires, clutching her arms
over her chest.

Shauna vehemently shakes her head, blood pressure skyrocketing, as Jackie takes another shaky
step forward.

“Is it because she actually did read all of those stupid fucking Shakespeare plays, that Mrs.
McMadden used to assign?” Jackie asks, lips twisted into a frown. Shauna juts a palm into one of
her eyesockets, shaking her head and biting the inside of her cheek. Her head is literally spinning,
while waves of nausea crash against the lining of her stomach. “What is it then, Shauna? Are you
just like, sick of screwing someone that only reads Sassy? Do you need to fuck someone with the
same exact SAT scores as you?” Jackie prods, poking right at the blistering bruise on Shauna’s
heart. Shauna clenches her fist at her side, sharp fingernails chiseling a bloody crescent into the
palm of her hand. “Do you guys just like, fuck around, then talk about The Great Gatsby
afterward? Am I not allowed to sleep up there, because there's a GPA pre-requisite that I—”

“I am not fucking Tai! I am not cheating on you with Tai!” Shauna snaps, voice so shrill that Jackie
literally flinches. She gapes at Shauna with her eyes narrowed into slits, awkward silence filling the
hairsbreadth of space between them. A few uncomfortable and extended beats pass, before Jackie
is clearing her throat. She then reluctantly opens her mouth a fraction, almost like she’s suddenly
ready to speak.

Before Jackie can, a loud bang tears through the forest, echoing off of the waterlogged trees. Her
mouth immediately snaps shut as her astute eyes follow the sound, glancing right over Shauna’s
shoulder. And, well. Jackie’s lips twist into this uncomfortably smug grin at the sight, eyes rolling
like a pair of dice. Shauna’s stomach twists over Jackie’s reaction to the mysterious intrusion, but
her desire to investigate overclouds her better judgment. She slowly twists her entire body around,
frowning at the sight before her.

Tai is standing about a foot’s length behind Shauna, with her mouth hanging open and her eyes
wide like saucers. She blinks away the droplets of rain that have begun to accumulate on her
eyelashes, glancing between Jackie and Shauna all uneasily. “What?” Tai asks, sliding her palm
over her mouth in astonishment. Shauna hears Jackie scoff, but keeps her weary eyes trained on
Tai’s bewildered face. “Hold— hold up. Cheating?” Tai incredulously states, letting out this
disbelieving little chuckle. She rips her palm off of her face, tilting her head and gesturing between
Shauna and Jackie. “This… is a thing? Like, an actual thing?” Tai inquires, cocking up an
inquisitive eyebrow. Shauna winces at her words, scrunching her eyes closed, as she braces for
impact.

“Yeah, Tai, it’s a thing!” Jackie spits, voice dripping with venom. Shauna’s eyes burst back open at
Jackie’s words, while Tai’s eyes bulge even farther out of their sockets. “Did Shauna just,
conveniently leave that bit of information out? Y’know, while you guys were fucking around
behind my back, in the—”

“Are you fucking possessed?” Tai sneers, huffing out an exasperated breath. Shauna anxiously
pulls at the wet fabric of her Wiskayok ringer tee, now uncomfortably plastered to her back. Her
heart is beating in her chest like a goddamn snare drum, picking up speed with every word uttered.
“I’m not sleeping around with Shauna. I have a girlfriend, Jackie. Who, by the way, is trying to
sleep after getting half her face ripped off by a pack of fucking wolves!” Tai roars, clapping her
hands together. Shauna rubs her eyes, tilting her head back and looking up at the rain clouds above.
A sick part of her really wishes that a bolt of lightning would just shoot her right now, instantly
putting her out of her misery. “So, like, how about you and Shauna table this bullshit discussion for
later? The sun isn’t even fucking out yet, it’s pouring out here, and the entire team is still
sleeping!”

“Oh… you would fucking love that! Wouldn’t you, Tai?” Jackie barks, eyebrows knitted together
at Tai’s weary face. Then, Jackie is crossing her arms over her chest, swiveling her piercing gaze
back toward Shauna. And, well. Shauna’s stomach twists, guts knotting together in a tight jumble
of nerves. “I’m sure you would both really love it, if I just kept my mouth shut. But, oops! Sorry! I
tried keeping my mouth shut— like, I really tried to give you the benefit of the doubt, Shauna—
but look at where that got me!” Jackie wails, mucus leaking from her pink-tinted nose. Shauna
clenches her fist at her side again, glaring up at the sky and attempting to will a lightning bolt into
existence. “I have a cheating girlfriend, who—”

“I’m not cheating on you!” Shauna shouts, irritation now zipping throughout her veins. She
wrenches her head back down, her gaze swiveling from the rainy sky to Jackie’s teary face. “How
many fucking times—”

“Oh! So you’re just, what?” Jackie raspily snarls, tossing a hand up in faux-nonchalance. Shauna
seethes, guilt roasting her from the inside out. “Acting like I have the cooties, for fun? Dodging
having sex with me, for fun?” Jackie ungracefully bemoans, jerking her head around. Shauna
notices Tai’s jaw drop in her periphery, right as those words slip from Jackie’s unexpectedly
shameless mouth. “I think that’s bullshit, Shauna. You’re cheating on me.”

“Jesus, fuck! No, Jackie! I’m not fucking cheating on you with Tai. I don’t get why—”

“Why, Shauna? Like, can’t you at least just tell me why you—”

“Oh my God! Nothing is going on between me and Shauna! Can we all just go inside and—”

“Is it because she’s more experienced than me? Like, am I just not good enough in the bedroom for
you? You didn’t feel like waiting for me to figure shit out, so you just—”

“Holy shit! Jackie! Are you absolutely out of your mind? I am dating Van. I love Van. There’s
nothing—”

“Shauna, if you’re gonna do this shit to me, you better tell me why. I’m not—”

Shauna’s blood boils, flowing through her system like molten hot lava. Her forehead pulsates,
allowing a throbbing ache to coat her entire brain. And, well. Unfortunately, Shauna’s resolve then
completely snaps, just like Allie’s shattered leg.

“I’m not cheating on you with Tai! I’m fucking pregnant, Jackie! Alright? I’m fucking pregnant!”

The sky rumbles and roars, right as a burst of lightning zips down and strikes a nearby tree. Tai
flinches at the cracking sound, wincing and bouncing on the balls of her feet, in pure shock. But, of
course, Shauna doesn’t move. And, well. Neither does fucking Jackie.

She’s staring at Shauna with a blank look on her face, body stiff and frozen in place. Little droplets
of rainwater drip from her disheveled bangs and her long eyelashes, falling to the forest floor with
little plunk noises. A singular raindrop dribbles off the tip of her nose, which is now blotchy and
pink, from the cold. Jackie doesn’t react to the vicious lightning bolt, or the sheer amount of water,
now soaking through her thin pajamas. Her hazel eyes are glued to Shauna’s pale face, squinting at
her in pure astonishment.

But then, Jackie is doubling over and clenching her stomach with her hand, wheezing out a stream
of sardonic laughter. Her eyes water up a bit from chuckling so hard, laughing tears mixing with all
the previous crying tears. “That’s really…” Jackie shakes her head, letting out another disbelieving
guffaw. Shauna’s stomach flips, while Tai closes her eyes in pity and horror. “God, good one,
Shauna!” Jackie wheezes, pulling herself back upright. Her face is now a ruddy red color, and her
lips are presently twisted in a scathing smirk. “Cheats on me, then tries to make me feel stupid!
Thanks, Shipman!”

Shauna squeezes her eyes closed so hard, that fireworks burst behind her eyelids. She sucks in a
steady breath, before re-opening her dried-out mouth. “Jax… I’m not joking. I wish that I was, but
I’m not,” Shauna murmurs, voice cracking near the end. Jackie lets out another resoundingly loud
huff, pushing Shauna to quickly wrench her eyes back open.

Jackie is glancing between Shauna’s pale face and Tai’s stony mug, now uncomfortably laughing,
in sheer panic. “Oh, so did you like, skip school that day? Y’know… when we were talking about
how sex and pregnancy work? In health class?” Jackie rambles, prompting Shauna to run a shaky
hand over her face. The salty tears are beginning to smear her own vision, making it nearly
impossible to focus on Jackie’s rapidly contorting face. “I can’t knock you up, Shauna. Pretty sure
you should know that, considering the fact that I used to cheat off of your fucking Biology tests!”
Jackie all but screeches, realization dawning across her features. She’s frowning and blubbering
now, tears trailblazing down her cheeks. “You’re not pregnant, Shauna,” Jackie sternly states,
vehemently shaking her head. She looks and sounds like a petulant child, hell-bent on getting their
way. And, God, Shauna wishes that she could just let Jackie have her fucking way. “You’re—
you’re not. You- you’re cheating on me, with Tai.”

“I’m not, Jax. I’m pregnant. And I— I didn’t want you to figure it out. That’s why I’ve been weird
and distant. I was afraid you’d like, feel it, while we were hooking up… or something,” Shauna
shakily admits, blinking back her own tears. Jackie looks absolutely crestfallen, slumping her body
so much that her wet pajamas droop all baggily. “And um…” Shauna pauses, sniffling a little bit.
She glances over at Tai, whose face is now marred with frown lines. “Tai figured it out… when she
caught me faking my period. She’s the only person that knew, so I kind of—”

“You— you had… sex without me? You— you lost your virginity… to somebody else?” Jackie
blubbers, fisting her hands into her hair. Her voice comes out all thick and watery, so Shauna
honestly can’t tell if it's a statement or a question. So, Shauna reluctantly nods her head, chest
constricting once Jackie lets out this guttural sob. “With who, Shauna?” Jackie cries, prompting
both Tai and Shauna to grimace. She then glances between Shauna’s watery eyes and Shauna’s
stomach, before rapidly shaking her head. “Who, Shauna? And when!” Jackie spits, tugging
mercilessly at her wet strands.

“I— uh,” Shauna stammers, glancing over at Tai. Shauna’s mind is currently whirling around in
circles, so she hopes that Tai might have an answer that is more acceptable than Jeff fucking
Sadecki. Tai just shrugs in response, before rubbing at her forehead. Fuck. “Um… I…” Shauna
rambles on, dissolving beneath the blazing heat of Jackie’s gaze. And then, a name suddenly
blossoms in her brain, almost like God himself has just placed it there. “It’s Randy’s. I— I slept
with Randy.”

Jackie looks shell-shocked, glassy eyes twitching and bulging right out of their sockets. “Randy…”
Jackie deadpans, now looking positively stoic. Shauna reluctantly bobs her head up and down,
ignoring the dirty side-eye that Tai is now shooting in her direction. “When?” Jackie shakily asks,
removing her hands from her hair. She wipes the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand,
breathing heavily. “Where?” Jackie numbly inquires, looking past Shauna. She is now staring at a
nearby tree, face absolutely blank. “Why?”

She’s grabbing Jackie’s shoulders now, attempting to re-establish eye contact, by shaking her a bit.
But, well. Jackie won’t budge, eyes glued to the fucking bark of some stupid fucking tree. So,
Shauna decides to just go on the defensive, even though Jackie looks absolutely lifeless. “Jax. It
was such a big mistake.” True. “We uh, we got super wasted. At the kegger. And it just… sorta
happened.” Half-true. “It only happened once, though. I swear.” False. “It didn’t mean anything to
me… being with uh, Randy.” Replace Randy’s name with Jeff’s, and it’s a true statement.

Jackie lets out this serrated breath, hazel eyes still painstakingly evading Shauna’s face. “You—
you slept with Randy, the night of the kegger?” Jackie asks, voice cracking at the end. Shauna
slowly bobs her head, prompting Jackie to bite her lip and squeeze her eyes shut. And then, before
Shauna can even react, Jackie is pushing Shauna’s hands off of her shoulders. “Uh… ok?” Jackie
whispers, sucking in shaky breath after shaky breath. She backs away from Shauna a bit,
eventually cracking her eyes back open. “I’m just gonna…” Jackie trails off, finally sparing Shauna
a glance. She then tosses a shaky hand over her shoulder, while her face remains devoid of any
emotion. “Just gonna… go for a run.”

Shauna’s eyes widen like saucers, right as Jackie makes to turn around. She grabs Jackie’s wrist,
coercing her to freeze, mid-step. “Jax, what?” Shauna asks, eyebrows raising and skin pricking
with goosebumps. Jackie stares back at Shauna with expressionless eyes, while her typically
vibrant face, remains a blank slab of concrete. Shauna gulps, forcing the lump in her throat down.
“It’s— it’s raining. And it’s— it’s still dark. The sun hasn’t even risen yet, Jax. It’s not safe… plus,
we should really—”

“Let her go,” Taissa calmly states, creeping up behind Shauna. She drapes a hand on the back of
Shauna’s elbow, squeezing it gently. And, well. Shauna instinctively shifts around to gawk at Tai’s
brazenness, allowing Jackie to immediately take advantage of Shauna’s sudden stupor. She
wrenches her bony arm out of Shauna’s grasp, before legitimately high-tailing into the pitch-black
forest. Shauna attempts to follow after Jackie, but Tai literally yanks her backward. Shauna’s sock
slips on a wet branch, forcing her to practically topple into Tai, like a goddamn domino. “Look,
Shauna…”

“What the fuck, Tai!” Shauna wails, wheeling around. Tai is basically nailing the deer-in-
headlights look right now, eyes all wide and doe-y. And, of course, Shauna’s so fucking angry that
she just can’t help but take it out on Tai. She plants a hand on Tai’s chest and pushes her away, jaw
clenched so hard it hurts. “How the fuck could you let her do that?” Shauna spits, pointing a finger
at Tai. Shauna’s stomach is literally stuffed with all forms of anxiety, guts whirling, over the
thought of anything bad happening to Jackie. “You’re the one who's all about keeping tabs on
everyone. It’s fucking pitch black out! And, it's... freezing fucking cold. She's in wet-ass pajamas!
What if she—”

“Pretty sure she needs some fucking time and space to grapple with all the shit she just found out
about, Shauna!” Tai asserts, rolling her eyes. Shauna seethes, shaking her head and crossing her
arms over her chest. “Like, fuck! I already knew about the baby bombshell, and even I need to sit
down after that,” Tai adds, scoffing a bit. And, yeah. Shauna acknowledges that Tai is honestly
probably right, so she instinctively eases up. She unfurls her arms from over her chest, while
anxiously biting the inside of her cheek. “I mean, seriously? What the hell did I just witness?” Tai
asks, with a surprised huff. “Like, I must have woken up in another dimension, because since when
is Jackie Taylor into—”

“Or, maybe your gaydar is just… really fucking shitty,” Shauna automatically deadpans, without
actually thinking about it. It’s a shitty and unprompted joke, but it still manages to make a smile
crack onto Tai’s serious face. The sight has Shauna grinning too, although it’s way more wan and
crooked-looking, due in part to her raging anxiety. “But uh, yeah. Jackie and I are—”

Tai holds a palm up, instantly shutting Shauna up. “Alright, I am super interested in this topic, but
can we please move this discussion inside?” Tai pleads, gesturing to the cabin. “I’m pretty sure
everyone’s still passed the fuck out, so we can just whisper in the attic. And, uh, I’m gonna be real
honest with you…” Tai murmurs, prompting Shauna to squint in confusion. Tai then clears her
throat, smacking her lips a little bit. “I’m guessing that you and Jackie are trying to keep this thing
on the down-low, for now, right?” Tai inquires, earning a snappy head nod from Shauna. Like,
sure. Jackie was hell-bent on keeping their relationship on the down-low, but— in light of recent
events— Shauna isn’t quite certain, that it will even be intact for much longer. “Ok, well. You and
wifey should be thankful that the fucking rainstorm was so goddamn loud, or else everyone would
be up in your guys’ business. I swear on a normal day, I’d be able to hear Jackie’s annoying ass
voice for miles. So, maybe next time, fight at a normal goddamn volume. That way, the entire
cabin won’t hear… yeah?”

“I uh— yeah,” Shauna murmurs, running a hand through her soaking wet hair. Tai chuckles a bit,
before slinging an arm around Shauna’s shoulder. “I’ll definitely… pitch that to her.”

“Please do…” Tai trails off, as she begins to steer Shauna back toward the cabin. Their sneakers
squelch against a plethora of mottled leaves and broken branches, right as the rain begins to really
slow down. “But, word of advice? Wait till she calms the fuck down, before you even say anything
to her. I think the idea of you fucking Randy Walsh and the whole baby-gate fiasco, might have her
on the ropes for a little while.”

Shauna lackadaisically bobs her head, while her entire body robotically moves with Tai’s. Her head
spins, her heart pulsates, and her stomach swirls. And, well. It really hits her then, almost like a
soccer ball has just been punted straight into her weakened stomach.

Jackie knows about the baby, but not about its actual paternity. She thinks it’s Randy fucking
Walsh’s kid, not her baseball bench-warming ex-boyfriend’s careless mistake.

It’s fucked up and a blatant lie, but Shauna wonders if she should just continue going with it.

“Ok, yeah. Sounds complicated, sounds very… Jackie. But, honestly, I can’t believe it didn’t click
earlier for me. You both were acting weird as fuck at Lottie’s victory party, after States. The
gaydar really should’ve buzzed that night… fuck.”

Shauna is sitting cross-legged on the attic floor, while discussing her and Jackie’s entire
relationship timeline, with a rather curious Tai. She’s mirroring Shauna’s criss-cross pose, but sits
across from Shauna. Tai is also running a finger along the dust-covered floor, tracing a hodge-
podge of different shapes.

The rest of the girls are off doing chores, chipper and merry from getting to sleep in a bit later, on
account of the rain. And, thankfully, Tai’s previous assumption ended up being right. Nobody in
the cabin seems to have overheard Jackie and Shauna’s reenactment of Brenda and Dylan’s break-
up from 90210, thanks to the cacophonous rainstorm. Shauna knows that the Yellowjackets could
easily play dumb, purposely pretending that they didn’t hear Jackie and Shauna’s rather damning
remarks.
But, well. She also knows that Mari is a big blabber mouth, with an inclination toward frivolously
gossiping. Jackie and Shauna’s clandestine relationship could definitely be considered a juicy
rumor, so much so that it would undoubtedly run rampant throughout the hallways of Wiskayok.
Not to mention, Shauna being pregnant with “Randy Walsh’s” baby, would also be a big hit within
the Wiskayok rumor mill. So, yeah. There’s no way that Mari wouldn’t be running her mouth or
making any snide comments, if she had overheard anything. Like, you can take Mari out of
Wiskayok High, but there’s no way to suck her passion for high school gossip out of her.

It’s fucking annoying and immature, but Shauna’s kind of glad that she’s got a sign affirming that
she and Jackie are in the all-clear.

And, right as that thought finishes sweeping across the forefront of Shauna’s mind, Jackie finally
decides to make her re-appearance at the fucking cabin. Shauna hears her before she sees her, on
account of her squelching sneakers and dripping clothes. The tell-tale sounds currently signaling
Jackie’s long-awaited return make Shauna’s heart thump in her ears, while also simultaneously
stirring up butterflies in the pit of her stomach.

Tai must recognize the noises too, because she is quickly springing right to her feet. She grabs her
ax off the ground, right as Jackie’s wet Lacoste sneakers begin to slap against the tarnished rungs
of the ladder. “You guys can take the attic tonight, I’m sure there’s a whole lot of shit that you guys
need to discuss. And, honestly, I’d rather sleep downstairs until Van gets better. No offense, or
anything.”

“None taken,” Shauna states, with a shy grin. Tai matches it tenfold, until her eyes are snapping
upward. Her face splits into a grimace, before she paces by Shauna and right down the ladder,
without another word. So, yeah. With that reaction from Tai, Shauna is fairly reluctant to spin
around, although she obviously does it anyway.

As soon as her eyes land on Jackie, her own face splits into an uncomfortable grimace.

Her hair is an absolute trainwreck, wet strands haphazardly glued to her pink-tinted face. The
beach-themed set of pajamas clinging to her body are essentially soaked all the way through,
prompting her to shiver like she just went on an expedition in Antarctica. Her hazel eyes are all
red-rimmed and puffy from crying, while her nose looks all swollen and stuffy. She’s got a layer of
mud caked into her knees and into the soles of her formerly pristine Lacostes.

All in all, Jackie looks like a goddamn wreck. It’s absolutely jarring to see her look so unkempt,
especially since Jackie always prides herself on her appearance. But, Shauna’s not too worried
about creating a picture-perfect outfit for Jackie, right now. She’s more concerned with keeping
her warm, so she immediately springs into action.

Shauna can feel Jackie’s eyes on the back of her head, even as she begins to feverishly root through
her own suitcase. She eventually finds what she is looking for, ungracefully whipping her varsity
jacket and a pair of Wiskayok sweats, right out of her luggage. And then, Shauna is striding toward
Jackie’s quivering body, before dropping the sweatpants to the floor.

“Here, babe. Jacket first, let me help…” Shauna murmurs, attempting to ignore the way Jackie’s
teeth have begun to painfully clatter. And, although Jackie sort of frowns a bit, she does as she’s
told. She lifts her arms slightly upward with a wince, allowing Shauna to slip the navy and yellow
letterman right onto her. “There…” Shauna murmurs, sliding her hands up and down the puffy
sleeves. She sheepishly smiles at how cute Jackie looks in it, fighting the urge to giggle over the
fact that the jacket looks like it could swallow her whole. “I… um. Lift your leg, real quick…”
Shauna blurts out, stifling her presently inappropriate urge to laugh. Jackie heeds to her order,
lifting one of her shaky legs up. Shauna snatches the sweatpants off of the ground and slips Jackie’s
leg through one of the pant holes, before doing the same with the other.

“Thanks,” Jackie whispers, voice so shaky that it honestly sounds like a breath. Shauna nods,
running a hand through her half-damp hair. “We should uh… talk. There’s obviously um…” Jackie
trails off, glancing right at Shauna’s stomach. The skin on Shauna’s abdomen burns, even with the
thick fabric of her Wiskayok ringer tee, protecting it. “A lot of stuff we need to—”

“I’m so sorry, Jax…” Shauna automatically blurts out, right as tears begin to leak from her eyes.
She knows that she has no right to be crying like this, considering how badly she has hurt Jackie.
But, well. The tears flow of their own accord, no matter how hard Shauna tries to stop them. “I
fucked up— I fucked up, so bad. I wish I waited, I really do,” Shauna thickly sobs, vocal cords
saturated with mucus. Jackie just stares at her, raking her eyes up and down Shauna’s body.
Shauna can’t stand to look at Jackie’s doe eyes right now, so she covers her face with her hands.
“God, I just, I’m so—”

“It’s my fault, Shauna.”

Shauna quickly tears her palms right off of her face, eyeing Jackie in a stupor. Her brain currently
feels like its short-circuiting, nerve endings replaced with slashed wires and mutilated cords.
“What? Shauna shakily inquires, sniffling a bit. Jackie offers her a wan smile, shrugging her jacket-
clad shoulders up, before allowing them to sag back down. “No, Jackie. This isn’t—” Shauna
practically wheezes, guilt writhing low in her belly. She feels like she could hurl at any given
moment, with the way her stomach continues to flip like a fucking gymnast. “This isn’t your fault, I
— I chose to fuck—”

“You fucked Randy, because I literally told you to. I got back together with Jeff, so I told you to go
hook up with Randy. And, this was all right after I told you that I loved you, Shauna. That was
beyond fucked up of me,” Jackie murmurs, sucking in a shaky breath. She hangs her head low,
picking at the bloodied cuticles of her fingernails. “You did the deed, Shauna. But, I gave you the
idea… and the reason to do it.”

Shauna’s heart stings, listening to Jackie conjure up such bullshit reasons to forgive her. She is
literally attempting to take most of the blame for Shauna’s actions, looking for outlandish ways to
justify Shauna’s misdeeds. It’s so incredibly twisted, especially since Jackie doesn’t even know the
total truth. Shauna has been hand-feeding Jackie a bunch of little half-truths, just to keep Jackie’s
nose from sniffing out her egregious lies. But, well. Shauna can’t allow Jackie to take the rap, for
her decision to fuck Jeff. It’s not Jackie’s fault that she’s knocked up, in any shape or form. It’s
Shauna’s fault, for independently choosing to sleep with Jeff. It’s Jeff’s fault, for not pulling out in
time. It’s both of their faults, for being so reckless and stupid.

“Jax…” Shauna murmurs, biting her lip a bit. She sucks in a deep breath, mentally preparing to
deliver what could be the final blow. “It’s not—”

“Look, Shauna. I— I freaked, ok. Like, obviously, it hurt knowing that you fucked him. But, uh.
We weren’t like… together, together. It’s fine that you fucked him first. I can get over it, y’know?
Um… like, eventually,” Jackie rambles, wringing her hands together. Shauna grimaces, wishing
that the rainstorm would reemerge and just wash her away. “And, I don’t know. When I was out
there, I got to thinking. I realized that you’re definitely gonna need someone… to help you. Babies
are like, so much work… I think. Um, I don’t have that much first-hand experience, but that’s what
Mrs. Nielsen used to always say in Home Ec. I kinda trust her opinion, honestly…” Jackie barrels
forward, clearing her throat. Shauna rubs at her temples, so completely taken aback by what she is
hearing. “I guess I’m just trying to say that, uh. We’re together. And I always saw myself having
kids with you, anyways. So, who cares if we're ten years too early?” Jackie proclaims, prompting
 Shauna’s stomach to drop. Jackie, unknowingly raising Jeff’s bastard kid. Fuck. “I love you,
Shauna. I want to help you, if you’ll let me…” Jackie announces, going all mushy-eyed. She
prances over toward Shauna’s stiff body, throwing her arms around Shauna’s shoulders. “Plus, it's
not like Randy’s around. He can’t take the dad title away from me…” Jackie teases, waggling an
eyebrow. Shauna’s jaw drops, while her heart beats so fast that it might actually fly right out of her
chest. “So, whaddya say, Shipman? Wanna get a head start on the future with me?” Jackie inquires,
smiling brightly and jostling Shauna’s shoulders a bit.

Shauna instinctively buries her face into the crook of Jackie’s neck, right as a fresh wave of tears
begins to ripple across her eyelids. She breathes in the familiar smell of Jackie’s shampoo, which is
now mixed with the scent of her own detergent, thanks to Jackie’s mismatched apparel. And, well.
Somehow, the mixture of their fucking fragrances, pushes Shauna to nod her head. It’s oddly
comforting and reassuring, knowing that all of her and Jackie’s components, blend together so
well.

Maybe if Shauna just keeps up this whole paternity charade, she’ll never have to tell Jackie about
who the father really is. Like, maybe Jackie will just become convinced that it’s their kid, after all.

Chapter End Notes

coming up next: jackie begins covertly babyproofing the cabin, which drives shauna
insane and literally confuses everyone. things get steamy, lottie gets weirder, and
shauna hangs with javi (perfect practice for wilderness baby).
 baby proofing
Chapter Summary

“No, Captain Crazy! I’m not gonna waste my time doing that!” Mari wails, thrusting
the bucket back at Jackie. Jackie takes it with an indignant huff, before dropping it
down onto the floor with a loud clang. “Like, seriously? Are we having guests over?
Are you throwing a party, in the middle of fucking nowhere? Why the fuck did you
wake us all up to clean and rearrange a shitty old cabin, that’s covered in dirt that is
probably older than my grandparents!”

“God, Mari! I’m just taking safety precautions!” Jackie snaps, spurring scoffs and eye
rolls to shoot from all directions. Shauna chews at her lip and scowls, quickly
deducing that this cabin re-design is a weak attempt at baby-proofing for the stupid
Sadecki spawn. “I don’t want anyone getting hurt… or sick! And…” Jackie trails off,
waggling an eyebrow and gesturing toward the duffle bag on the floor. She is doing a
downright appalling Charlie O'Donnell impression, behaving like she is announcing a
large cash prize on Wheel of Fortune. “That’s why we’re gonna start keeping all of our
sharp objects in there! And, um. Speaking of sharp objects… has anyone seen the
butcher’s—”

Or: Shauna hates being reminded that she is, in fact, pregnant.

Chapter Notes

trigger warning: lots of throw up talk in the beginning section. also a nsfw section right
at the end. idek this chapter is a big old mess and range of weird things happening.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

August 2nd, 1996

The floor is hard and cold beneath her aching knees, prompting her to let out a weary whine into
the blinding darkness. She roughly gags again, inadvertently scratching her sallow and clammy
cheek against the splintering slab of wood, which is currently operating as an uncomfortable toilet
seat. A fly is buzzing around near her ear, but Shauna can barely hear it, over the resoundingly
loud sound of her own dry heaving.

“Hey, hey. Let me get you some water,” Jackie mutters, voice gravelly with sleep. She runs her
hand up and down Shauna’s back, while purposely ignoring Shauna's fervent head shake. The jerky
motion makes Shauna’s head pound even more, resulting in her squeezing her eyes shut. She then
groans, before mustering up enough energy to lift her heavy head up and swivel around. Jackie
automatically loosens her grip on Shauna’s hair, allowing her to lean her sore back against the
wooden walls of the outhouse. “Babe… seriously. I think I—”

“No,” Shauna weakly states, voice gritty and scratchy. Her throat feels like it's on fire, all raw and
blistery from the obscene amount of bile she’s just hurled up. The stinging sensation, combined
with the rancid taste now flooding her mouth, makes Shauna squish her lips into a sour pucker.
And, even in the fucking darkness, Jackie somehow manages to detect the pallid look on Shauna’s
face. She frowns and tucks a strand of Shauna’s sweaty hair behind her ear, squatting on her
haunches. “Don’t leave me,” Shauna pleads, swallowing down the coarse lump in her throat.
Jackie nibbles at her lip and squints at Shauna’s partially-concealed face, clearly attempting to
assess the situation. “Please, Jackie. I don’t need water. I— I’m not nauseous… anymore.”

Jackie looks entirely unconvinced, quickly raising an eyebrow and scrunching up her freckle-
adorned nose. “Ok,” Jackie skeptically whispers, lips curling into a wan smile. She lowers herself
down to the ground, then scoots forward and presses a kiss to Shauna’s sweaty forehead. “But, um.
Let’s just stay here. For a little bit…” Jackie hesitantly mumbles, prompting Shauna’s head to
robotically tilt up and down. Then, Jackie lets out this little yawn, before placing a hand on
Shauna’s sticky cheek. She rubs her thumb against it in soothing circles, goading Shauna’s sleepy
eyes to close again. “Just in case you uh, need to… y’know. Puke again.”

“I’m fine, Jax…” Shauna weakly proclaims, right as her stomach decides to lurch again. She can
feel Jackie’s worried eyes ticking over her pale face, which just makes Shauna’s sluggish and
sweat-drenched body shiver, all over. “I swear. I’m just tired now…” Shauna murmurs, voice
cracking a bit at the end. And, well. Just then, a ruthless swell of nausea spirals in the pit of
Shauna’s abdomen, shooting another wave of bitter bile right up her swollen esophagus.

She desperately tries to swallow it down, fighting to maintain the remnants of her composure and
dignity. Like, this stupid Sadecki spawn has already made her look like a sloppy clown for the past
month, so Shauna’s crumbling self-confidence is nowhere near prepared to take another critical
hit. But, of course, Shauna’s hopeless attempts to resist the impulse to hurl fail miserably.

Right as Shauna manages to choke down the first surge of pungent stomach acid, another one jets
up her sandpapery throat, like a runaway rocket. Unable to gag it down, Shauna heaves her
lethargic body forward and frantically grasps onto the prickly wooden slab. She holds onto the
splintering edges of it so tightly, that her knuckles contort into the same ghostly hue as her gaunt
face. Then, Shauna is dipping her head down, puking up the meager contents of her practically
barren stomach.

Her gut painfully twitches with each elongated retch, prompting red-hot tears to drench her lengthy
eyelashes. Jackie loops a hand into Shauna’s dark locks all over again, cautiously pulling all of
Shauna’s thick hair over her slumping shoulders. She continues to hold Shauna’s hair back,
clenching sweat-drenched strands within her loosened fist, even as she presses a kiss to the sticky
crown of Shauna’s head. And then, Jackie is humming all sweetly and melodically, which just
makes Shauna groan even harder. The guilt and the regret are coiling low in her stomach,
wrapping around her vital organs and squeezing roughly.

Shauna’s body feels all mucky and gross, with the sheer amount of sweat coating her forehead and
the semi-permanent layer of dirt caked into her skin. She also feels dirty on the inside, due in part
to the flashes of molten guilt that swell through her veins, whenever Jackie sympathetically coos or
reassuringly rubs her back. Like, honestly, Shauna deserves to feel this shitty. She deserves to
suffer through random bouts of morning sickness, without Jackie’s neverending supply of
charitability and love.

“Shh… baby,” Jackie sympathetically murmurs, pushing Shauna to cough and sputter up even
more bile. She rubs her thumb over the ridges on Shauna’s hunched-over back, tracing soothing
circles up and down Shauna’s spine. Shauna then hurls up one final swell of stomach acid, before
promptly slouching right back against the wall. Her pounding head hits the hollowed-out, wooden
walls with a painful thud. And, of course, Jackie then immediately goes into team captain mode.
She wipes away the salty water currently coating Shauna’s lash line, using the sleeve of her striped
sweater to do so. Jackie then dabs the soft fabric around Shauna’s mouth, offering her a shy smile
and affectionate eyes. But, well. Shauna can’t bear to meet her gaze, with the feelings of shame and
embarrassment, currently simmering in her weakened stomach. She coughs roughly, before gazing
past Jackie and gluing her sleepy eyes to the darkened silhouette of the outhouse door. “Are you
feeling any better now?”

“Yeah,” Shauna weakly whispers, voice scratchier than a piece of sandpaper. She rubs at her
temples and clears her throat, attempting to diminish the caustic burn that still simmers at the base
of it. “I just— I just want to go to bed, Jax. I’m so fucking tired,” Shauna whimpers, frustrated tears
flooding out of her eyes, of their own accord. She angrily clenches her fists at her sides, gasping out
shallow breaths. “And I’m— I’m so sorry for waking you up for—”

“Shauna,” Jackie softly chides, before unfurling one of Shauna’s fists for her. And, after prying
open Shauna’s clenched-up hand, Jackie wastes no time in slotting her cold fingers between
Shauna’s clammy ones. “Sweetheart. I’d rather be out here with you than in there,” Jackie
murmurs, gesturing her free hand toward the general direction of the cabin. Shauna bites back a
weak smile, right as Jackie leans in to press a quick kiss on her cheek. "And, honestly? I barely get
any sleep in there, anyways. Between Misty’s snoring and Lottie’s weird-ass mumbling, it’s
fucking impossible to—”

“Come sleep in the attic with me,” Shauna suddenly spits out, prompting Jackie’s mouth to snap
shut. She is gazing at Shauna all warily now, with her lips twisted into a frown and her brows all
furrowed up. Shauna sighs and crawls forward, tucking her face into the crook of Jackie’s neck.
“Please,” Shauna basically whines, right as Jackie decides to wrap her arms around Shauna’s waist.
She kisses the side of Shauna’s skull, running her hands up and down the damp fabric of Shauna’s
sweat-soaked shirt. “I need you. My whole body hurts. I don’t want to have to sleep up there, all
alone.”

“Shauna, you’re not alone up there, though. You’ve got Tai,” Jackie weakly argues, spurring
Shauna to pull her head back. She pins Jackie with a stony look, her mouth a straight line and her
brown eyes dulled. Jackie sighs at the sight, grimacing a bit. “Do not give me that look. You both
literally agreed not to let any love interests up there. And, c’mon. Tai and I are already on thin ice,
after my uh. My big blow-up,” Jackie mutters, with a wince. Shauna just rubs at her sleepy eyes in
response, exhaustion crashing over her in waves. The nausea is gone now, but it has apparently
been replaced with an unconquerable mountain of fatigue. “If she catches us doing anything, I think
she might actually shoot me. Plus, I know she is gonna guilt trip us. She’ll pull the wolf card on us,
faster than—”

“Jax. Tai is not gonna say shit to us,” Shauna states, rather unconfidently. Jackie raises an eyebrow
at Shauna’s egregious over-assumption, widening her eyes and smirking in disbelief. “Ok, fine.
You’re right. She’ll probably say something,” Shauna concedes, spurring a little laugh to spill from
the back of Jackie’s throat. She then lifts a hand up, carding it right through Shauna’s sticky hair.
“But, I can deal with it. I can talk to her. She won’t be mad, I promise.”

Jackie purses her lips, gnawing at the inside of her cheek. Her forehead crinkles up, almost like the
gears are currently twisting and turning in that pretty head of hers. Shauna waits for Jackie to
respond with bated breath, sighing in relief, once she finally decides to open her mouth. “Ok, ok.
Yeah. But you’re on damage control, Shipman…” Jackie trails off, giggling once Shauna’s mouth
twists into a dopey grin. Jackie then loosens her embrace, freeing Shauna from the confines of her
bony arms, before slowly standing upright. “And, watch those wandering hands of yours when we
get up there,” Jackie teases, extending both of her hands out. Shauna rolls her eyes playfully, before
finally grasping onto both of Jackie’s hands. And, well. After a bit of comedic struggling and
gasping, Jackie manages to pull Shauna’s lethargic body upright, noodle arms be damned. “I mean
it, Shipman. No slick moves,” Jackie playfully reprimands, prompting Shauna let out a dramatic
huff.

“Fine,” Shauna acquiesces, before gradually pulling one of her hands out of Jackie’s grip. She then
covers her own mouth with it, attempting to stifle a resoundingly loud yawn. “I feel and look super
unsexy right now, anyways,” Shauna rasps, earning a light swat to the shoulder. Shauna narrows
her eyes in confusion, which spurs Jackie to shrug her shoulders up.

“You’re sexier than ever. Throw up and all,” Jackie quips, which just makes Shauna grimace. But,
well. Somehow, Jackie doesn’t seem to register the blatant signs of embarrassment, etched onto
Shauna’s dimly lit features. She just hums absent-mindedly and tightens her hold on Shauna’s
hand, leading her right out of the outhouse.

Jackie manages to direct Shauna right through the darkness, ushering her back into the cabin
without much toil. She then squints her eyes toward the wooden floor, tip-toeing and shuffling past
the bodies of their sleeping teammates. Shauna is honestly kind of impressed with Jackie’s
navigational skills, especially since they both somehow manage to make it all the way across the
length of the living room, without accidentally stepping on anyone.

And then, Jackie is tugging Shauna into the pantry, before basically hoisting her up the rickety
steps of the attic ladder. It isn’t long before Jackie is following after Shauna, pressing a guiding
hand to her sweaty back, while they both climb up the creaky ladder. They tentatively trudge up the
cold metal steps, careful not to put too much weight or pressure onto the rackety rust, out of fear of
waking up Tai.

Eventually, Shauna and Jackie successfully to make it back into the attic, rapidly creeping beneath
the safety of Shauna’s faded flannel blanket. And, thankfully, Tai seems completely unaware of
Jackie’s presence. Shauna sits up a bit and squints into the darkness, peeking at Tai’s sleeping
form. She doesn’t crack open an eye or unlock her mouth, opting to heave out a slew of raspy
snores and flop around on her make-shift mattress, instead.

“She’s so loud. How the hell do you sleep up here?” Jackie suddenly whispers, quickly stealing
Shauna’s full attention. She twists back around and lays her head flat onto her pillow, shrugging her
shoulders up at Jackie. Jackie bites her lip and grins down at Shauna in response, readjusting the
elbow that she is currently propping herself up on. “God. She literally sounds like Darth Vader… if
he chain-smoked a full pack of cigs.”

A stream of girlish giggles freely bubbles right out of Shauna’s mouth, filling the silence with a
melody of airy chuckles. But, well. Jackie is quickly darting her unoccupied hand upward, before
firmly placing it over Shauna’s mouth. She then gapes down at Shauna with wide eyes, while
cocking her head toward Tai. And, even though her brain currently feels fogged up, Shauna
receives the memo. She bobs her head up and down, spurring Jackie to yank her hand away.

“Sorry,” Shauna whispers, right as Jackie decides to plant a quick kiss on her cheek. And then,
Jackie’s head is collapsing onto Shauna’s pillow, with a soft thwack. Shauna instinctively shifts
onto her shoulder, turning away from Jackie’s smiling face. “You’re just… funny,” Shauna
murmurs, around a yawn. She then automatically shuts her eyes and sighs, right as she feels Jackie
scooch closer, from behind. And then, Jackie is slinging an arm over Shauna’s body, splaying her
hand directly across Shauna’s abdomen. Shauna absently interlocks her fingers with Jackie’s,
allowing them to hold hands over Shauna’s non-existent baby bump. “But… only sometimes.”

Jackie huffs out a laugh, although it's almost entirely muffled by Shauna’s thick hair. “I guess I’ll
take sometimes…” Jackie whispers, before breaking off into a yawn. She tucks her head against
Shauna’s shoulder, right after placing a peck there. "I love you a lot, so… don’t worry. I’ll only
hold that comment against you, for a couple of days…” Jackie murmurs, prompting Shauna’s lips
to twist into a smirk. She strokes Jackie’s hand with her thumb, while absently chewing at her lip.
“But, seriously. Go to bed, smart-ass. You need the rest.”

“Mmm,” Shauna lackadaisically hums, squeezing her eyes further closed. A crushing wave of
exhaustion finally strikes her aching body again, prompting her words to slur a little bit. “Love you
too.”

Jackie doesn’t say anything else, opting to tighten her arm around Shauna, in response. And, well.
Shauna feels so safe and secure in Jackie’s soothing embrace, that she quickly drifts right back to
sleep.

The sour surge of nausea that was previously curdling up Shauna's stomach lining, has apparently
washed away. It’s been replaced by this swirly and fluttery sensation, that makes Shauna feel like
there is an entire fleet of butterflies flapping around in her abdomen. But, Shauna openly welcomes
this swoony sensation, after quickly acknowledging that it has been inadvertently stirred up by
Jackie.

Like, after everything that has gone on tonight, Shauna deduces that all of her brazen assumptions
were right. Jackie really does have the potential to be a better co-parent to this baby, than its actual
father.

Yet again, Shauna begrudgingly forces herself to wake up, although it's not because of her own
nauseousness… this time. It is actually a clamor of muffled and indistinct shouts from below, that
spurs Shauna to roll onto her side and crack her dark-rimmed eyes open.

And, well. Shauna finds her lips instinctively twisting into a tight frown, in response to the sight
before her eyes. Her dilapidated pillow is half-vacant, her itchy blanket is partially pulled down,
and Jackie is legitimately nowhere to be found. That last discovery spurs Shauna to openly sigh,
while also compelling her to sit up a little bit. She glances around the room in confusion, eyes still
a bit murky and hazy.

But, before Shauna can even attempt to blink the sleep out of her eyes, Tai is angrily bumbling her
way up the rickety attic steps. She’s grumbling something under her breath, frivolously clenching
and unclenching her sharpened jaw. Her face is scribbled with frown lines and her eyes are slightly
glazed-over, although they do immediately broaden when they land on Shauna.

“Tai? What’s wrong?” Shauna sleepily asks, rubbing her own eyes. Tai just scoffs in response,
before pacing over to her side of the attic. Shauna twists around and watches on in confusion, while
Tai aimlessly rummages through her luggage. “Seriously? You’re gonna give me the silent
treatment? What the fuck did I do? I literally just woke—”

Just then, another wave of muted yells creeps through the thin attic floor, shutting Shauna right up.
Tai then shoots her a death glare, before frustratedly launching a random t-shirt at the wall. And,
well. Shauna just gapes at Tai, jaw-dropping in response to her immature outburst. “I don’t know
how you are dating that girl! She is a motherfucking lunatic!” Tai then whisper-screams, before
dropping to her knees. She continues to dig through her suitcase, clawing through its contents with
unrefined hands. “First, she accuses me of fucking you!” Tai angrily grumbles, shaking her head a
bit. Shauna swallows down a lump in her throat, eyes wide and head spinning in confusion. “And
then, she wakes me up at the ass-crack of dawn, just to Feng shui the goddamn cabin!” Tai bitterly
announces, wringing a book out of her bag. She then bolts upright, holding it out toward Shauna’s
bewildered face, like it's the fucking Bible. “Oh? Wanna know why she needs this?” Tai asks,
tilting her head to the side. Shauna isn’t granted the opportunity to respond to that question,
because Tai wastes no time in spitting out the convoluted answer. “One of the couches is a little bit
lopsided. And, apparently, that’s a huge fucking safety hazard!”

Shauna just blinks back at Tai’s rapidly reddening face, watching as she huffs out a series of sharp
breaths. Her mouth keeps drooping open of its own accord, but her brain still feels so foggy, that
Shauna really doesn’t know what to say. So, of course, Tai’s face instantaneously hardens in
response to Shauna’s sudden spell of speechlessness. She places her free hand on her hip, peering
down at Shauna expectantly, with narrowed brows.

But, thankfully— or, honestly, unthankfully— Shauna’s arid mouth and frozen brain are
miraculously saved, by fucking Mari.

“No! I’m not moving any more shit around, Jackie!” Mari wails, her voice so shrill and loud that it
snakes right through the floorboards. Tai winces and screws her eyes shut at the sound, before
practically flying toward the ladder. And, well. Shauna is still so confused and so completely
stunned, that she just… continues to sit there. She blankly stares straight ahead, blinking at a little
speck on the wall, while absently wringing her hands together. But then, Mari is letting out another
series of raucous shrieks, which prompts Shauna to bolt upright and sprint after Tai. “Who the fuck
do you think you are? Martha Stewart?” Mari screams, while Shauna all but slides down the
ladder. And, right as Shauna strides through the archway leading to the living room, her sluggish
body is instantly rocked by another one of Mari’s ear-piercing shouts. “Even she wouldn’t wake
me up for this bullshit!”

Her voice is so painfully clangorous and condescending, that it essentially stops Shauna dead in
her tracks. She is left legitimately cemented to the floor of the pantry, socked feet plastered to the
cracked floorboards. Shauna finds her mouth glued shut too, unspoken words sticking to the roof
of her mouth, like melted candy. She is left entirely speechless and downright shocked by the scene
unfolding in front of her, which just compels her weary eyes to freely wander. It’s almost like she is
playing one of those I Spy games, with the way she is covertly studying each person in the room.

Travis and Natalie are standing at opposite ends of the wooden coffee table, lifting it up and
gradually shifting it closer to the fireplace. Tai is angrily shoving the book that she had shown
Shauna earlier, right beneath the front leg of the striped sofa. Van is dusting off the fireplace
mantle with one of Coach Martinez’s old shirts, coughing as specks of dust spray her in the face.
Misty is crouching down right beneath her, currently tossing Dead Cabin Guy’s collection of
vintage porno mags right into the smoldering fire. Laura Lee is sweeping the floor, with a
contented little grin on her face. Akilah is shoving the ax and a bunch of serrated tin cans into a
duffle bag, sighing as she does so. A bunch of the juniors are crawling around on the floor, using
sharpened pebbles to sand down the splintering floorboards. Coach Scott is leaning against the
doorway leading to the boys’ bedroom, mirroring the exasperated look that is presumably plastered
across Shauna’s own face. Mari is standing in the middle of the chaos, with her arms firmly
crossed over her chest and a scowl etched onto her face. Lottie and Javi are nowhere to be found, so
Shauna presumes that they somehow managed to escape the cabin before Jackie could put them to
work. And, well. Jackie is currently standing on top of one of the wooden chairs near the fireplace,
shouting directions and waving her arms around, like the conductor of an orchestra.

Legitimately everyone looks exhausted, with dark bags lining their eyes and frowns plastered
across most of their sallow faces. They all move around the living room like soulless robots,
apparently so hell-bent on completing their mandated tasks, that none of them even bother glancing
in Shauna’s direction. Even Jackie is blissfully unaware of Shauna’s presence, opting to focus all
of her attention on arguing with Mari.
“Seriously? If you’re gonna stand around and bitch, why don’t you just go join Lottie?” Jackie
taunts, earning an agitated scoff from Mari. She dramatically flips her black hair over her shoulder,
before peering around the room for non-existent backup. But, nobody does or says anything,
besides Van. And, well. She literally just shrugs up a shoulder at Mari, then returns to dusting. “I’m
sure she’d love to swim around in the lake with you and her imaginary ghost friend!” Jackie
proclaims, before hopping off of the wooden seat. She then strides over toward the rusty water
bucket, currently sitting right next to the coffee table. “Here!” Jackie cheerily proclaims, lifting it
off the ground. Jackie practically shoves it right into Mari’s chest, which makes Mari groan and
stumble back an inch. “Why don’t you go clean the rust off of this? We don’t need anyone getting
Tetanus!”

“No, Captain Crazy! I’m not gonna waste my time doing that!” Mari wails, thrusting the bucket
back at Jackie. Jackie takes it with an indignant huff, before dropping it down onto the floor with a
loud clang. “Like, seriously? Are we having guests over? Are you throwing a party, in the middle
of fucking nowhere? Why the fuck did you wake us all up to clean and rearrange a shitty old cabin,
that’s covered in dirt that is probably older than my grandparents!”

“God, Mari! I’m just taking safety precautions!” Jackie snaps, spurring scoffs and eye rolls to shoot
from all directions. Shauna chews at her lip and scowls, quickly deducing that this cabin re-design
is a weak attempt at baby-proofing for the stupid Sadecki spawn. “I don’t want anyone getting
hurt… or sick! And…” Jackie trails off, waggling an eyebrow and gesturing toward the duffle bag
on the floor. She is doing a downright appalling Charlie O'Donnell impression, behaving like she
is announcing a large cash prize on Wheel of Fortune. “That’s why we’re gonna start keeping all of
our sharp objects in there! And, um. Speaking of sharp objects… has anyone seen the butcher’s—”

“Jackie!” Shauna caustically snaps, without even really meaning to. And, well. Shauna’s goal of
stopping Jackie in her tracks is accomplished, almost instantaneously. Her mouth immediately
snaps closed, while her saucer-like eyes dart straight toward Shauna’s face. And, of course, Mari
wastes no time in celebrating her automatic verbal victory. She rolls her eyes at Jackie’s frozen
face, before glancing over her shoulder at Shauna. There is a condescending, shit-eating grin
plastered across her lips, which just makes Shauna’s anger levels soar even higher. Bitch. “You’re
making things worse!” Shauna spits, gritting her jaw. Jackie visibly cringes in response, which
apparently spurs the rest of the group to put their tasks on pause. Legitimately all eyes are now on
Shauna, basically thrusting her right into the excruciatingly uncomfortable spotlight, with her
withering self-confidence and all. “Jackie… I’m serious. Why the hell are you doing this?” Shauna
trails off, inching forward. She shoves Mari out of her way and pushes herself right in front of
Jackie, inadvertently earning a scoff from Mari and a chuckle from Natalie. And now, Shauna is
thrusting a finger into Jackie’s face, patience wearing thinner by the second. “Do you even realize
how fucking—”

“So, she gets to sleep in…” Mari snarks, eyes raking over Shauna’s entire body. She then clicks
her tongue, before glaring right at Jackie. Her eyes are still pointed in Shauna’s direction,
completely undeterred by Mari’s frustrated face. “But the rest of us don’t? How the fuck is that
fair? Like, I’m really not for the favoritism and the bullshit bestie privileges, Jack—”

“Jackie. Outside. Now,” Shauna snaps, cutting Mari right off. Jackie shrinks, face contorting into a
sour pucker. She nibbles her lip and plasters on a shaky smile, but makes absolutely no effort to
move. So, Shauna shifts her finger, jabbing it in the direction of the front door. “Now, Jackie.”

“Ok…” Jackie cautiously mumbles, crossing her arms over her chest. She lets out a deep breath,
huffing a strand of hair out of her face. “But I was just—”

Shauna snatches Jackie’s wrist and unceremoniously tugs her toward the front door, immediately
shutting her up. She puts up a half-hearted fight against Shauna’s hold, briefly flailing her arm
around. But, Jackie does eventually give up, sighing heavily and allowing her arm to go limp. And,
of course, Shauna takes advantage of Jackie’s submissiveness. She practically shoves Jackie
through the cabin door, while effectively ignoring most of her teammates’ chants and hoots. The
only voice that manages to sneak into Shauna’s ears, right before she slams the cabin door closed
behind her, is Van’s enthusiastic one. “Thank you for your service, Shipman. You’re braver than
any U.S Marine for taking Mrs. Clean out!” Van heartily declares, earning a wave of laughter that
sounds distinctly like Tai’s.

But, Shauna doesn’t bother investigating the laughter’s origin, whatsoever. Like, legitimately right
as the door swings closed, Shauna is rounding on Jackie and whisper-screaming directly into her
timid face. “Jackie, do you even realize how sketchy you are acting?” Shauna snaps, flailing her
arms around in distress. Jackie just gazes back at her like a deer in headlights, mouth drooping
open and closed. And, well. That sight— combined with Jackie’s sudden silence— has Shauna’s
rage growing even stronger. “My whole fucking plan was to keep this as hush-hush as possible!
And now you’re… what? Baby proofing the entire fucking cabin, in front of everyone’s faces?
Making a big deal out of—”

“That’s what this shit is? I am seriously in trouble for helping you?” Jackie incredulously asks,
unironically placing a hand over her heart. She begins to bash her foot against the porch, glowering
at Shauna like she has just committed some kind of crime. “Shauna. First of all, you are literally
going to have a baby bump. I don’t really think you can hide that, even with all of the fucking
flannels you packed…” Jackie pointedly declares, sucking her lip between her teeth. Shauna just
juts a palm into her eye socket in response, entirely incapable of coming up with an argument
against that remark. “Second of all… are you fucking nuts? Having a baby is always a big deal,
Shauna! And, I don’t know if you’ve looked around recently, but this isn’t really the ideal place to
have one!” Jackie snaps, gesturing toward the treeline. Yet again, Shauna is unable to think of a
suitable comeback, so she stays silent and anxiously scratches at her neck. “So, yeah. I am going to
baby-proof the cabin, Shauna! I am going to make it as safe as I possibly can, before that baby
pops out of your fucking stomach! It’s the only thing that I can do, to keep myself from legitimately
going insane! My apologies for being scared fucking shitless! Like, sorry that it finally hit me last
night, while I was watching you puke your—”

“Oh, you’re scared? How the fuck do you think I feel, Jackie?” Shauna fires back, voice so harsh
that Jackie legitimately stumbles backward from the force of it. She nearly trips and falls right off
the side of the porch, except Shauna is grabbing her by the waist and tugging her forward, before
she can. But, well. Jackie is now apparently so irritated with Shauna, that she feels the need to
frantically shove her away. “Really? You’re gonna get all pissy with me now?” Shauna
instinctively blurts out, gaping at Jackie’s rapidly reddening face. Jackie scoffs in response,
shaking her head in reprimand. “Wow, ok. I guess I’m a terrible person for not wanting to tell
everyone that I have… what? Eight more months to live?” Shauna roars, vocal cords straining
from the force of it. And, yeah. That grueling admission has Shauna sobbing in seconds, her heart
basically shattering after finally proclaiming her deepest fear aloud.

And, of course, Jackie is instantaneously crying along with her. She reaches out to grab Shauna’s
face, but Shauna instinctively back-pedals out of her reach. “Shauna…” Jackie rasps, voice all
watery and thick with mucus. Shauna just vehemently shakes her head, angrily rubbing at her tear-
filled eyes. Like, Jesus Christ. Shauna was doing a relatively bang-up job at ignoring the ticking
time bomb rolling around in her stomach, until Jackie decided to make it a big thing. “Babe, you’re
not—”

“I’m going to the lake!” Shauna tearily exclaims, plastering on a crooked smile. Jackie gapes at her
in equal parts horror and heartbreak, attempting to reach out to Shauna all over again. But, Shauna
is already stumbling down the porch steps, with her vision blurry and her head spinning. “I just
need… air,” Shauna weakly states, almost tripping over her own feet. She distinctly hears Jackie
repeating her name over and over again, with a voice all sharp and nasally.

But, well. Shauna doesn’t bother looking back, deducing that her overflowing eyes would
inevitably skew her ability to look at Jackie, anyways. Plus, Shauna honestly doesn’t want to give
Jackie any opportunities, to convince her to go back into that cursed cabin.

Jackie’s babyproofing antics— combined with her own, intense bout of morning sickness- have
really forced Shauna to come to terms with her dreadful situation, against her own free will. Like,
yeah. Shauna knows she’s pregnant— knows she’s doomed, knows she’s bound to die— but she
doesn’t necessarily enjoy being reminded that she is, inadvertently or advertently.

So, instead of allowing herself to be painfully reminded of the ticking time bomb in her stomach,
Shauna heads straight for the lake. She figures that anything is better than sitting in that stifling
cabin, watching Misty tear up lewd magazines and listening to Tai grumble about Jackie’s
clandestine baby measures.

“Oh, hey. I didn’t realize you were awake yet.”

Shauna is slouching on top of a decaying tree stump, absent-mindedly picking away at her
fingernails. She has been dazedly gazing at an adjacent tree, blurry eyes glued to the weird symbol,
etched neatly into its weathered bark. And, well. Shauna has apparently been so completely
entranced by Dead Cabin Guy’s abnormal artistry, that she has managed to shut out the entire
world around her. So, of course, the sound of Javi’s shy voice kind of spooks her.

She jolts in place, nearly toppling off of the tree log, right as he practically leaps in front of her
face. And now, Shauna is getting an eyeful of Javi’s striped t-shirt, instead of tree bark and knife
marks. Her brown eyes are still so watery and blurry, that the lines scribbled onto the dirty fabric of
Javi’s shirt incoherently smear together. The messy tangle of stripes makes Shauna’s weary eyes
sting, which unintentionally drives her head to pound like a fucking drum. So, in order to alleviate
her brand-new headache, Shauna quickly looks away from Javi’s shirt. Her gaze drifts downward,
until her brown irises land on a familiar-looking object, currently clenched tightly in Javi’s small
hand.

“Is that my knife?” Shauna asks, forehead creasing with confusion. She stares at the knife for a
second longer, before peering back up at Javi’s face. And, the sheepish grin now coating Javi’s
chapped lips, seems to serve as a fairly obvious answer to her first question. “So, um. What are
you… doing with it?” Shauna then inquires, tilting her head to the side. Javi just offers her a shy
shrug, before stuffing his free hand into his pocket. Shauna squints at him in irritation, finding
herself rather annoyed by his refusal to actually take responsibility for stealing her shit. And, yeah.
Shauna does see the blatant irony there, but she actively decides to turn a blind eye to it, in favor of
hypocritically reprimanding Javi. “Javi, I had that knife hidden at the bottom of my backpack. You
do realize its like, an invasion of privacy, to go through people’s—”

“I swear I didn’t take anything else. I just— I just needed the knife… for an art project,” Javi
stammers, with a pained grimace. Shauna’s face immediately softens around the edges, irritation
replaced with intrigue. Like, Shauna is honestly kind of glad that Javi has apparently found a
productive hobby, especially since his brother’s favorite past-times are moping around and
screwing Nat. “It’s uh, stupid. I know it is…” Javi trails off, yanking his hand out of his pocket. He
uses it to scratch at his neck, while thrusting his knife-filled hand in Shauna’s direction. “It won’t
happen again. I swear, Shaun—”
“It’s not stupid. Tell me more about it!” Shauna proclaims, with a reassuring grin. She then pats
the tree stump with one of her hands, gesturing for Javi to come closer and sit next to her. His eyes
widen and his face instantaneously lights up like a Christmas tree, before he practically bounces
right onto the tree stump. Shauna knocks her shoulder against his, internally laughing over how
similar he is to Jackie. Like, Javi is currently fiddling with the knife and swinging his legs back
and forth, anxiously fidgeting like Jackie consistently does. “Whatcha workin’ on?”

Javi offers her a boyish grin and passes her the knife, before fishing around in his back pocket. He
frantically whips out a small figurine, jerking his hand out of his pocket so lightning fast, that the
little trinket nearly flies right out of his grasp. Shauna chuckles at his enthusiasm, glancing between
his blushing face and the wooden statuette in his small hand. “I quit Boy Scouts a couple of years
ago. But, um. I earned the Whittling Chip, right before I did…” Javi timidly trails off, spurring
Shauna to extend a palm out. He places the wooden figurine in it, boyish hands trembling a bit.
“And, uh. I know it's a pretty useless survival skill, but it was the only thing that I ended up being
good at. I can’t tie knots well, I can’t start a fire, I can’t pitch tents… but I can carve little animals
out of wood…” Javi sighs out, hanging his head all dejectedly. Shauna runs her finger over the
smooth ridges of the miniature wolf statue, finding herself impressed by Javi’s woodworking skills.
“It’s kind of embarrassing that I’m only good at that, especially since my dad wasted so much
money on camping equipment and—”

“Well… I don’t know how to whittle. And, guess what? I don’t think anyone else in the group does
either. So, color me impressed,” Shauna declares, goading Javi to lift his head up. He squints at her
with perplexed eyes, before anxiously pushing his hands underneath his jean-clad thighs. “And,
I’m not gonna lie to you…” Shauna trails off, squinting down at the neatly shaved edges and
bumps. She rotates the little wolf in her hand, examining the little face etched onto it. “I could
definitely see you becoming some big-time sculptor when we get home… that’s how good this is.”

Javi instantaneously perks up, back shooting ramrod straight and eyes widening in amazement.
“Really?” Javi giddily asks, re-adjusting the hat on his head. Shauna fervently nods, before
attempting to pass the figurine back to him. He just shakes his head in response, swaying back and
forth on his hands. “No…keep it. I can just make some more. Not much to do out here… y’know?”
Javi cheekily declares, eliciting a wave of laughter to escape from Shauna’s mouth. Javi’s grin
grows even larger in response to the sound, his small mouth widening so much, that it basically
takes over his entire face. And then, Javi is gesturing for the knife, which Shauna quickly places
back in his hand. “And… um. I can show you how I do it… if you want,” Javi sheepishly declares,
shrugging his shoulders up. And, well. Shauna finds his shyness pretty endearing, which
encourages her to bob her head in agreement. “Ok, cool! I think you’ll catch on quick, ‘cause of all
the—”

“Butchering?” Shauna suggests, raising an inquisitive eyebrow. And, well. She seems to have
correctly presumed where Javi was going with that particular train of thought, if the little grimace
he offers her is of any indication. But, Shauna isn’t offended by Javi’s suggestion, in the slightest.
“I mean, yeah. I guess I’m like, used to slicing stuff up. But, uh. I’m not very… artistic,” Shauna
wittily admits, shoving the figurine in the pocket of her sweatpants. “Carving shapes might
actually kick my ass.”

And, Shauna’s breeziness apparently pacifies Javi’s nerves, driving him to hop right off of the tree
stump. “It’s easy! I’ll teach you!” Javi proclaims, motioning for her to follow him. So, Shauna
stands up and trails after Javi, while he eagerly trots in the direction of the lake. “All of the twigs
and logs near the lake are really soft…” Javi murmurs, batting some leaves out of his face. Shauna
listens closely to his words, while ducking beneath a low-hanging tree branch. “That’s the kind of
wood you want to use when you’re whittling,” Javi announces, right as they make it to the lake. He
twirls around and shuffles backward, talking to her face-to-face, as they inch up the shore. And,
well. Shauna keeps her eyes glued to his enthusiastic face, until she spots something white and
shiny, floating in the water. “It’s more malleable or something like—”

“Lottie?” Shauna abruptly exclaims, squinting toward the lake. Her voice comes out so high-
pitched and reedy, that it effectively stops Javi in his tracks. And, Shauna decides to take
advantage of his stupor, placing her hands on his shoulders and squeezing them. “You go find
some wood for us to use, alright? And, while you do that, I’ll go talk to Lottie…” Shauna trails off,
gesturing toward the lake. Javi then twists his head around a bit, quickly stealing a glimpse at
Lottie, before turning his attention back to Shauna. “Does that uh, sound cool with you?”

“Yeah… sure,” Javi murmurs, sounding a bit uneasy. Shauna loosens her hold on his shoulders,
allowing him to shuffle toward an adjacent pile of splintering tree branches. “I’ll just be over
here…” Javi announces, tossing a thumb towards all of the sand-covered wood. Shauna nods and
plasters on a smile, before slowly trudging over piles and piles of sand, just to get to Lottie and the
lake.

With each step that Shauna takes, the brand-new knot of anxiety and dread coiling in the pit of her
stomach, tightens and tightens. Her head literally feels like it's been pumped full of air, dizziness
striking her like a lightning bolt, as soon as she secures a real look at Lottie.

She looks virtually catatonic and dazed, while standing in waist-high water. Her eyes are
unblinking and lifeless, currently trained on something far off in the distance. Lottie’s face is
entirely blank too, stone-cold and somber-looking. The scar carved into her forehead looks angrier
and more pronounced than normal, appearing abnormally redder and puffier. She is wearing this
white nightgown, which is now virtually soaked all the way through. And, well. Shauna honestly
thinks that Lottie currently looks like a specter, with her stone-cold face and her translucent
nightgown. And, that creepy connection instantly spurs a wave of harsh shivers, to crawl up
Shauna’s spine.

“Hey… Lot?” Shauna tentatively murmurs, digging her socked toes into the sand. Lottie doesn’t
verbally respond, but she does jerk her head up and down, just once. “Aren’t you…” Shauna trails
off, squinting at the back of her head. Lottie maintains her rigid stance, apparently undeterred by
Shauna’s heated gaze and her weak attempts to converse. “Like… cold?”

“Yeah... actually,” Lottie unconsciously murmurs, sounding completely out of it. Her words sound
like they’re coming from light-years away, laced with a bizarre sense of numbness. And, Lottie is
now drumming her fingertips against the surface of the water, while tilting her head to the sky
above. “I thought it'd be warmer.”

Waves of confusion begin to flood Shauna’s brain, clearly urged on by Lottie’s peculiar behavior.
And, of course, Shauna feels the need to prod further. She wants to know why Lottie is currently
out here, wading around in cold lake water. She wants to know what Lottie is so entranced by, far
out in the distance. And, well. Shauna just wants Lottie to offer her a full-on explanation for her
weird-ass behavior, more than anything.

But, of course, Shauna isn’t granted the opportunity to ask Lottie any questions.

Javi comes barrelling over with an armful of sandy wood, right as Shauna finally musters up the
courage to crack her mouth open. He almost trips over his own feet as he giddily skips toward
Shauna, dark eyes shining with glee. “I think this should be enough to start,” Javi proclaims,
prompting Shauna’s mouth to snap shut. And, Javi’s enthusiastic demeanor effectively steals
Shauna’s attention away from Lottie’s ghastly form, in seconds. “Are you guys done talking? Are
you ready for me to teach you?”
And, well. Javi looks so fucking eager, bouncing around and staring up at Shauna all expectantly.
The look Javi is giving her obviously makes it hard for Shauna to say no to him, which is why she
quickly bobs her head in agreement. So, Javi hastily grabs her hand with his free one, quickly
tugging her back toward their now vacant tree stump.

Shauna doesn’t bother sparing Lottie another glance, actively refusing to allow Lottie or her
ghoulishness, to make her even more fucking anxious. Like, Shauna honestly doesn’t know how to
help Lottie, at all. And, Shauna figures that she already has enough on her plate, anyways. She still
has an angry Jackie, an accidental pregnancy, and an impending death to deal with.

Somebody else in the cabin can make Lottie fucking Matthews and her weird-ass antics, their
motherfucking problem.

“Thank you for finally deciding to come back, Shauna! It only took you… what? The entire
fucking day? I was worried sick!”

Jackie is standing in the middle of the attic with her arms crossed over her chest, currently raking
her piercing eyes up and down Shauna’s body. She is covered in streaks of dirt and dust, which
Shauna presumes are from her baby-proofing extravaganza. And, yeah. The sight has Shauna
dramatically rolling her eyes, almost as a reflex.

“Oh, fuck you. You’ve been out there— without fucking shoes, or a fucking coat— all goddamn
day!” Jackie exasperatedly spits, steam basically shooting out of her ears, at this point. Jackie’s
face is so red and her body is so tensed up, that Shauna fully believes Jackie could literally
combust at any given moment. “I mean, seriously? What the hell were you even doing out there,
Ship—”

“I made you this,” Shauna abruptly states, instantaneously disarming Jackie. She raises an eyebrow
and licks her lips, watching in equal parts curiosity and confusion, as Shauna digs around in her
pocket. “I was with Javi… who, uh. Taught me how to make these,” Shauna murmurs, whipping
out a bunny figurine. Jackie’s face immediately softens and her eyes go a bit mushy, right as
Shauna manages to close the distance between them. She passes Jackie the hand-carved statuette,
whose gaze ticks over its ridges and smooth edges, in silent reverence. “I’m really not as good at
carving as he is. But… uh,” Shauna murmurs, scratching at her neck. Shauna then lets out a deep
breath and scrunches her eyes closed, gut-churning with merited guilt. “I was a massive bitch
earlier… and, um. If we were at home, I’d go to CVS and pick you up some flowers, or
something…” Shauna awkwardly blurts out, in a rush. The words messily topple over each other,
almost like Shauna is drunk and reflexively slurring her words. But, well. Shauna is always drunk
on her all-encompassing, all-intoxicating love for Jackie, which is probably why she immediately
begins to defensively ramble. “Um, I guess I’m just— just trying to apologize. For earlier. You
were just trying to help. And, I wasn’t like, actually mad at you. I’m just mad… about all of it. I
dont like thinking about it, Jax. Which is why—”

Jackie cups Shauna’s jaw with her free hand, before slanting their lips together. And, Shauna hums
against Jackie’s lips in surprise, eyes bulging open in confusion. But, like, Shauna obviously still
kisses back. Her hands gravitate toward Jackie’s bony waist, seemingly pulled there by some
hidden, magnetic undercurrent. But then, Jackie is placing one last kiss on Shauna’s lips, before
slowly pulling back.

“First of all…” Jackie whispers, smirking a bit. She cards her fingers through Shauna’s wavy hair,
while lifting up the bunny figurine. “You are good at carving things. This is adorable, babe. Like, I
literally love it. It’s way better than a bouquet of shitty flowers. I’m dead serious,” Jackie
proclaims, making Shauna blush all over. She then places a quick kiss on Shauna’s cheek, which
just spurs Shauna’s skin to tingle and burn, even fucking more. “And, yeah. After your um…
y’know. Scary death comment…” Jackie mumbles, sucking in a deep breath. Shauna cringes at the
reminder, anxious hands instinctively gripping Jackie’s hips tighter. “I kind of realized that you
like, weren’t actually mad. Or, um. I realized that you were mad, just not mad at me…
specifically.”

Shauna bobs her head up and down, biting at the inside of her cheek. “I, um. I just don’t like…
thinking about it. And, yeah. The baby-proofing kind of forced me to think about it,” Shauna
practically whines, with a grimace. Jackie sympathetically nods in understanding, a frown gracing
her pretty lips. “It’s just…” Shauna trails off, sucking in a deep breath. She can feel the tears
pricking at her eyelids again, menacingly threatening to spill down her reddened cheeks. “I know
what’s gonna happen when I try having… this thing. And, I really don’t want to—”

“You’re not gonna die, Shauna. Everything is going to be ok, baby. Trust me,” Jackie confidently
declares, plastering on a slightly crooked smile. And, well. Unlike Jackie, Shauna sure as hell does
not live in a fantasy land, where everything ends with a storybook ending. Shauna has always had
the privilege of being the more realistic one, which is probably why she finds herself sobbing so
heavily, all of a sudden. “No, hey. Shauna… you’re not gonna die!” Jackie coos, frantically
tucking a loose strand of hair behind Shauna’s ear. Shauna just shakes her head and cries harder,
body shuddering and jerking, in response to the force of her own sobs. “I— I won’t let that happen,
ok? That’s not gonna—”

“It’s basic fucking biology, Jackie! I know that you’re used to getting everything that you want, but
you can’t beat fucking nature!” Shauna roars, tearing her hands off of Jackie’s waist. She then bats
Jackie’s hand out of her hair, before sliding both of her palms over her eyes. “I’m gonna die, Jackie.
Just accept it! I’m slowly accepting it, alright!” Shauna practically screeches, while Jackie places
the figurine on the windowsill. She then paces back over to Shauna and wraps her bony arms
around her waist, slowly dragging Shauna toward the ground. They both land on top of Shauna’s
blanket, shielding their behinds from the wrath of the cold floor. “I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die.
I’m gonna—”

“Shut up!” Jackie snaps, prompting Shauna to tear her hands off of her face. She gapes at Jackie in
confounded amazement, finding herself completely caught off-guard by Jackie’s obstinacy. “You
are not gonna die, Shauna! Do you hear me? It’s not going to happen! I promise you… I will not let
it happen!” Jackie passionately reiterates, prompting Shauna to tearily shake her head. She is now
sharply sniffling and choking on her own mucus, letting out waves of absolutely vile coughs. And,
of course, Jackie is now furiously kissing the side of her face. “You can’t die, Shauna. Ok? You
literally can’t,” Jackie declares, voice cracking a bit. Shauna pitifully whines in response, which
apparently compels Jackie to grasp onto the little heart-shaped pendant, laying right against
Shauna’s chest. “I meant what I said on that plane, alright? This is a good luck charm,” Jackie
asserts, bobbing her head up and down. She lightly pulls on the golden heart for emphasis, shyly
smiling at Shauna’s teary face. “Nothing can touch you. And nothing will touch you. I won’t allow
it.”

“But— but… Jax,” Shauna frustratedly stammers, fisting her hand into the blanket beneath her.
She sinks her nails into it, clawing at the pre-existing pulls and loosened threads. “There’s no way I
can have a baby out here and—”

Jackie practically lunges at Shauna, connecting their mouths together so forcibly, that Shauna
automatically plunges onto her back. But, Jackie sinks down onto the flannel blanket with her,
kissing Shauna deeply and desperately. She wraps a hand into Shauna’s hair and tugs, while using
the other one to prop herself up. And, right as Shauna releases a heady moan in response to the
pressure, Jackie is darting her tongue into Shauna’s mouth.
Tongues clash and noses bash together, the pace rapidly quickening, as soon as Shauna begins
running a hand up and down Jackie’s spine. Shauna suddenly feels like she is on fire, embers
blazing low in the pit of her stomach, in a way that has all of her fears and thoughts burning away.
And, Jackie must share the sentiment, if the little whimpers she lets out are of any indication.

She is then wringing her hand out of Shauna’s hair, before quickly pushing up the thin fabric of
Shauna’s t-shirt. Her sweaty palms glide over Shauna’s sides, lightly tickling at her ribs. Shauna
whimpers, hips instinctively bucking up, as soon as Jackie shifts her lips and hands downward.
Jackie nips and sucks at the delicate skin of Shauna’s neck, while her hand begins to slide up and
down the length of Shauna’s thigh.

“Jax,” Shauna whimpers, biting her own lip a bit. Jackie just hums in response, sucking at this
sensitive spot, hidden beneath Shauna’s jaw. But, well. Shauna has always been the more careful
one, too. “There are people downstairs. And— and. Tai could come up here, Jax…” Shauna
stutters out, voice airer than a gust of wind. Surprisingly, Jackie blatantly ignores Shauna’s
warnings, in favor of skimming her fingertips beneath the waistband of Shauna’s sweatpants.
“What if she catches us—”

“Tai’s out with Van. I asked her if we could have the attic for a bit,” Jackie whispers, right against
the column of Shauna’s throat. She is dipping her fingers even lower now, slowly teasing the tips
of them into the waistband of Shauna’s underwear. Shauna groans and rocks her hips up,
instinctively sinking her nails into Jackie’s tanned bicep. “Plus, I finally convinced Tai to let me
sleep up here…” Jackie trails off, spurring a shocked gasp to spill from Shauna’s throat. She
suddenly feels all lightheaded and dizzy, although she isn’t quite sure if it's from Jackie’s
admission or Jackie’s ministrations.

“How? How did you—” Shauna raggedly cuts herself right off, with a deep moan. Jackie’s
fingertips are on her now, rubbing in slow circles. She arches right into her touch, shocks of
pleasure shooting up and down her spine. “Convince— convince Tai?” Shauna raggedly finishes,
voice already torn to shreds. She feels Jackie smirk against her neck in response, before pressing
her fingertips down even harder.

“Oh, y’know…” Jackie flirts, dragging her teeth upward. They deliciously scrape against the
goosebump-caked skin on Shauna’s neck, before Jackie’s mouth freezes. She places a quick kiss
right below Shauna’s ear, then whispers right into it. “I told her that Van could sleep up here, if I
could sleep up here…” Jackie murmurs, before pulling back a bit. And, well. Shauna can’t help but
blink up at her in shock, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. “What?” Jackie innocently asks,
dropping her forehead against Shauna’s. She places a quick kiss on Shauna’s lips, before leaning
back and whispering against them. “Are you that surprised, baby?”

“I— uh,” Shauna whines, attempting to ignore the pressure mounting. Jackie just gazes at her all
expectantly, eyes squinty and lips tugged into a grin. She then unceremoniously tugs her hand right
out of Shauna’s underwear and pants, choosing to tease her, by playing with the knot on her
sweatpants. “I thought you wanted to— wanted to keep things… on the down low,” Shauna
frustratedly states, bucking her hips up. Jackie just shakes her head in response, refusing to put her
hand back where Shauna wants it. Fuck. “And— and. Uh… if Van sleeps up here…” Shauna trails
off, with a moan. Jackie has begun to kiss down the center line of Shauna’s body, pushing up the
fabric of her shirt, as she inches further downward. “I think she’ll— think she’ll put two and two
together.”

Jackie just lets out this overdramatic sigh, peering up at Shauna with lust-filled eyes. Her lips are
lingering right at the waistband of Shauna’s sweats now, so fucking close to where Shauna needs
them to be. “Well, Shauna…” Jackie trails off, pressing a kiss right beneath her belly button.
Shauna lets out a shrill gasp, tugging roughly at Jackie’s light brown waves. “I don’t really care if
Van knows. I think that's a pretty low price to pay,” Jackie drawls, finally hooking her fingers into
the waistband of Shauna’s sweats. And, of course, Shauna is scrambling to sit up. She gnaws at her
lip in anticipation, sighing as Jackie gradually tugs her pants down, at a torturously slow pace.
“Especially if I get to cuddle up here with you… every night.”

“Jax,” Shauna blurts out, once Jackie finally tugs her sweatpants clean off. She keeps her eyes
trained on Shauna’s blushing face, while she dips her head down and places a kiss on the front of
her underwear. Liquid heat pours through Shauna's limbs, melting her all molten inside. She
groans and gazes heatedly at Jackie, face burning up in spite of herself, while she covers her mouth
with her palm. "What about everyone else down—”

“You’re just gonna have to be quiet for me, ok?” Jackie murmurs, prompting Shauna to pitifully
whimper. She frantically nods her head in agreement, earning a bashful smile from Jackie.
“Good…” Jackie murmurs, hooking her fingers into Shauna’s underwear. That mere word has
another wave of intense heat boiling through Shauna's guts, feelings of lust and love freely rippling
around, in the pit of her stomach. Shauna tightens her grip on Jackie's hair as her stomach
inevitably swooshes, moaning all wantonly into her own hand. "I love you, Shauna..." Jackie
whispers, with a grin. She then begins to slide Shauna’s panties down her legs at a literal snail’s
pace, spurring Shauna to suck in a shaky breath. And, as soon as Jackie pulls them clean off,
Shauna is reedily gasping all over again. “Did you do this with… him?” Jackie suddenly asks,
although there isn’t any malice behind her words. She sounds genuinely curious and
nonjudgmental, opting to press kisses against Shauna’s inner thighs, while she waits for an answer.
But, well. Shauna's stomach still twists at the question and Jackie's sincere delivery, throat painfully
constricting and bare legs shuddering in shame.

“No,” Shauna hesitantly states, brushing Jackie’s bangs to the side. She knows that Jackie is asking
her about her fictionalized hookup with Randy, but she honestly never did do this with Jeff. It
always felt way too personal, like, almost sort of invasive, in a weird way. And, yeah. Shauna
knows that doesn’t really make any sense, especially since Jeff literally knocked her up. Like,
Shauna should consider Jeff putting a baby inside her as more invasive, than him putting his tongue
on her. But, well. Shauna’s Ivy League brain isn’t really well-known for rational thinking. “I never
did this with uh— with Randy.”

Jackie nods, gazing up at her with blown pupils and a heady grin. “I want you to relax… ok? Let
me take care of you,” Jackie murmurs, pressing one last kiss to Shauna’s thigh. And then, before
Shauna can even say anything in response, Jackie is tugging her legs over her shoulders and
immediately sucking at her clit.

Shauna re-clasps her hand over her mouth, effectively muffling her subsequent, guttural moan.
And, of course, Jackie just fucking smirks up at her. She grips Jackie’s hair tighter, blood rushing
in her ears and chest heaving haphazardly, while Jackie laps at her with unrefined strokes. Each
lick or press of the tongue has Shauna throbbing even harder, body and blood aching for all things
Jackie. And, yeah. Shauna is no longer thinking anymore, concentrating all of her attention on
Jackie's ministrations and chasing after her release, instead of reliving all of the grueling events of
the day.

Jackie is dipping her tongue lower now, swirling and sucking around Shauna's entrance, with
single-minded purpose. And, her movements have Shauna basically keening against her own hand,
thighs jerking and threatening to clap closed. Jackie's warm tongue slips inside of her all of a
sudden, darting in and out of her with an insane amount of precision. The change in pressure
prompts Shauna's legs to act of their own accord, thighs attempting to snap closed, all over again.
But, well. Jackie's head is still nestled between her thighs, effectively preventing her knees from
clapping together and her legs from fully shutting. They stay open but they do continuously whack
Jackie in the ears and harshly smack against the side of Jackie's head, which apparently spurs
Jackie to narrow her fiery eyes up at Shauna. Her own eyes roll back in her head, an unbearable
wave of heat sizzling through her veins, in response to the flirtatious glint in Jackie's lust-filled
eyes. She rocks her hips up and attempts to match the tempo of Jackie's tongue, desperately
chasing after the ball of heat, that is now writhing at the base of her pelvis.

And, well. Shauna has no fucking idea how long Jackie has been driving her insane, but she can
already feel the pressure knot beginning to unravel. Jackie moves her tongue back up, sucking her
clit between her lips, in a way that has Shauna biting into her own fucking palm. It stings and
makes her wince, which Jackie must notice. She reaches a hand up and unfurls the fist Shauna has
buried in her hair, slotting their fingers together and gently squeezing at Shauna’s hand. Shauna
balls the hand she has covering her mouth into a fist, biting down on her knuckles, in response to
the romantic gesture. Jackie's desire to hold her hand is so pure, sharply differing from what Jackie
is currently doing to Shauna, with her fucking tongue. And, that deviation has the knot in Shauna's
stomach tightening, pressing down on her pelvis and sending a sharp spark down to her core. She
wants to scream and wail, but she knows that she can't give them away, leaving her to destroy the
skin on her hand. And then, Jackie is suddenly sucking even harder, lips squeezing around
Shauna's clit even tighter.

The crushing pressure hits her then, barrelling right into her, like the heavy heaps of snow that free-
fall during avalanches.

Her legs shake and her spine arches right off of the blanket, while her teeth sink even deeper into
the skin on her knuckles. Heat rushes through her in waves, leaving her light-headed and covered
in a sheen of sweat. She’s panting so roughly that she honestly thinks she might need an inhaler,
gasping for air like she's just run a marathon. Her eyes are now screwed shut, fireworks exploding
behind her eyelids. Jackie is still holding onto her hand, tracing her thumb up and down her wrist
bone.

Jackie quickly kisses her way back up Shauna’s body, peering down at her with a sheepish grin.
“Was that any good? Y'know... for a first timer?” Jackie asks, tilting her head a bit. Shauna slowly
opens her eyes, right as Jackie pulls her hand out of hers. And then, Jackie is grabbing Shauna's
discarded panties and sweats, slowly slipping her back into both items of clothing. Shauna’s heart
swells at the gesture, making her even dizzier with lust. There's a huge lump in her throat, rendering
her briefly unable to speak. “Shipman… hello?”

“I— uh. Yeah, Jax. Like, crazy good…” Shauna trails off, licking her lips a bit. Jackie flops down
beside her, placing a quick kiss on Shauna’s lips. She hums, snaking a hand back into Jackie’s hair,
while her other hand reaches for the button on Jackie’s jeans. But, in an odd twist of fate, Jackie is
snatching her wrist. She offers Shauna a shy shrug, before leaning in and kissing her again. “Do
you not want me to—”

“I just wanted to take care of you. You’ve had a shitty day,” Jackie murmurs, honesty lacing her
vocal cords. The endearing admission has Shauna's stomach swooshing, butterflies fluttering and
flapping their wings. And then, Jackie is dropping Shauna's wrist, before immediately throwing her
arm over Shauna’s middle. She leans her head onto Shauna's chest, drumming her fingertips along
the fabric of Shauna's shirt. “Plus, we’ve both been up since like… what? Probably like, one in the
morning?” Jackie whispers, breaking off into a yawn. Shauna nods, chin jutting right into the
crown of Jackie’s head. “And you’re uh… sleeping for two now, babe. Everyone needs some extra
rest tonight, yeah?”

Jackie peers up at her with soft eyes, all mushy and moony. So, Shauna instantaneously consents,
 tucking an arm under Jackie’s head. She closes her eyes, attempting to allow the chirping crickets
and the howling wolves, to lull her to sleep. But, well. There’s one more unanswered question,
lingering at the forefront of Shauna’s mind.

“Jackie?” Shauna asks aloud, voice cutting through the eerie silence. She cracks open her eyes,
angling her head to glance down at Jackie. But, Jackie keeps her eyes closed and just grunts in
response, nuzzling her head further into Shauna’s chest. “Why the fuck did you make Misty burn
all those porno mags? Do you think that the baby is gonna like… have enough brain cells to open
them?”

Jackie snorts aloud, harmoniously giggling right into the fabric of Shauna’s t-shirt. The sound lulls
Shauna right to sleep.

Chapter End Notes

coming up next: shauna and jackie go to the lake... where jackie starts asking questions
about the randy hook up. and, yikes! shauna gives some weird details that have jackie
a bit suspicious!
 randy walsh can't pull for shit
Chapter Summary

“Oookay?” Jackie scoffs, rolling her eyes a bit. Exasperation blatantly seeps into her
vocal cords, altering Jackie’s voice in such a startling way, that the sound of it cuts
Shauna straight out of her daze. “I get that. You already told me that, Shauna,” Jackie
reprimands, running a wet hand over her cheek. She huffs, unironically sliding a hand
over her mouth. “I just— I just don’t get when it happened. I was with you, basically
the entire night!” Jackie legitimately whines, frustration mounting. The palm she has
pasted onto her mouth literally trembles, shaking like a leaf in the wind. Shauna’s
stomach lurches forward at the sight, almost like an old car that has just stopped short.
“And— and we all left together. Me, you, and Jeff. It’s not like I left you alone, or
gave you time to… to—” Jackie’s voice stalls out, forcing her to clear her throat. It
sounds all raspy and mucusy, a timbre that only sharpens once she removes her hand
from her face. “It’s not like I gave you time to screw Randy in the middle of the
woods!”

Or: Shauna and Jackie have a cute moment at the lake, until Jackie decides to
interrogate her about the fabled Randy thing.

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

August 23rd, 1996

Millions of minuscule stars litter the dark sky, daubing the navy-black gradient with pinpricks of
radiant light. It’s eerily silent outside, save for the faint sounds of chirping crickets and rustling
leaves. The coarse sand coating the lake’s shore feels all lumpy and rough against Shauna’s aching
back, sharpened pebbles poking and jabbing right into the thin fabric of her t-shirt.

But, Shauna doesn’t care all that much about the stinging sensation currently worming its way up
her sore spine, in any shape or form. She is way too hyperfocused on the night sky overhead, to
even register any dull aches or lingering pains. Her brown eyes are dancing to and fro,
meticulously and intricately connecting all of the twinkling dots, that are haphazardly scattered
across the atmosphere. She ends up spotting the Big Dipper first, after unconsciously connecting a
few of the sparkling stars, into the tell-tale shape of a cooking ladle.

She automatically squeezes one eye shut, peering up at the sky with an enormous amount of
concentration. “See, Jax?” Shauna excitedly whispers, while thrusting a finger upward. Jackie
snuggles closer to Shauna’s side in response, nestling deeper into the arm Shauna has curled
around her back. “That’s the North Star,” Shauna murmurs, finger pointed directly at the luminous
orb. She absently runs her other hand through Jackie’s hair, eliciting a few lazy sighs. “And, look.
That’s the Big Dipper,” Shauna adds, languidly tracing her finger around the shape of the
constellation. Jackie hums and rolls over a bit, jabbing her pointy chin into Shauna’s chest. The
subtle ache that the action causes is enough to break Shauna from her full-fledged nerdgasm,
instantaneously compelling Shauna to look into Jackie’s eyes instead of at the stars hanging above.

Jackie’s hazel orbs are currently shimmering so brilliantly, that they honestly outdazzle the North
Star’s age-old flair. Like, her irises are twinkling with such an intense glow, that Shauna swears
there must be an entire galaxy lurking behind her eyelids. And, yeah. The stunning sight is enough
to make Shauna’s breath catch in her throat, essentially rendering her speechless. Jackie looks so
effortlessly beautiful and captivating, that Shauna’s heart also legitimately stutters. It’s honestly
kind of ludicrous and outrageous, that Jackie and her glowing doe-eyes have this much of an effect
on Shauna fucking Shipman.

Case in point: Shauna has apparently been gazing at Jackie in a silently reverent, trance-like state
for an absolutely excessive amount of time, because Jackie begins to giggle all uneasily. It’s that
disarming, girlish laugh that Jackie usually reserves for her parents; she’s known to employ it
whenever they’re incredibly mad at her, or disappointed with her. Like, the last time Shauna heard
this specific iteration of Jackie’s laugh, was in October. They were at Jackie’s house, dancing
around and getting dressed for Homecoming, when Mrs. Taylor came barrelling right into Jackie’s
pastel-painted bedroom. She was high as a kite and armed with an arsenal of underhanded
comments, openly ridiculing the black dress that Jackie had chosen to wear. But, well. The entire
affair ended quickly, with Jackie awkwardly laughing and changing into this floral-printed dress,
apparently opting to appease Mrs. Taylor instead of attempting to oppose her.

That awkward memory is enough to make goosebumps prickle all across Shauna’s bare arms, a
sensation that only exacerbates, once Jackie actually begins to speak.

“You’re so cute. And so is your little geek-out…” Jackie trails off, with a bashful smile. She
reaches a hand up and pinches at one of Shauna’s cheeks, before placing a quick peck on her lips.
Shauna’s brain apparently shortcircuits, leaving her to gaze at Jackie’s starlit face, in silent wonder
and awe. “But, sweetie. Let’s be real. Whenever we used to stargaze back at home, I couldn’t see
half of the shit that you pointed at…” Jackie murmurs, tilting her head a bit. The sudden movement
causes Jackie’s bony chin to dig even deeper into Shauna’s sternum, which effectively snaps
Shauna’s synapses right back into place. “And, I won’t lie to you, baby. I still can’t see anything.”

A sudden wave of nostalgia crashes over Shauna right then, apparently spurred on by Jackie’s
words. Shauna is unexpectedly reminded of all of the grade school sleepovers that took place,
within the stifling confines of the Taylors’ mausoleum of a house. Every time Shauna spent the
night over there, she and Jackie would end up sneaking into the Taylors’ manicured backyard.
They would peer up at the sky and trace shapes out of the stars, giggling quietly and whispering
slowly, in order to avoid awakening Mrs. Taylor from her drug-induced slumber.

And, well. If she squints hard enough, Shauna can easily picture a younger version of Jackie laying
beside her, giggling away and pretending to notice invisible illustrations in the stars. It’s like
they’re both suddenly seven years old again, wishing on stars to become rich and famous, in order
to escape the monotony of Wiskayok.

Only, they’re not back home in New Jersey, safely guarded from the outside world by the Taylors’
white picket fencing. They also are no longer the blissfully ignorant and overly innocent little kids
that they used to be, in any shape or form.

They’re stranded in the middle of fucking nowhere, presumably thousands of miles away from any
type of civilization, let alone the Garden goddamn State. Mrs. Taylor and her prescription pill
bottles are nowhere to be found out here, in the fucking wilderness, either. The cabin is nowhere
near as spacious or organized as the Taylors’ McMansion, currently standing solemnly, back in
New Jersey. It’s certainly not the Taylors’ velvety lawn that she and Jackie are currently laying on,
but an uncomfortably coarse stretch of pebbly sand. She’s also not a little kid anymore, but she is,
unfortunately, accidentally pregnant with one!
And, well. All things considered, Shauna would suddenly do anything to be back in Wiskayok. She
wishes that she could be back in New Jersey, living a life that’s painfully boring and monotonous.
Shauna wishes that she was still that ignorant little kid, if it meant that she never slept with Jeff.
She also wishes that she wasn’t some big-time dreamer, fully prepared to pack her bags and sail off
to Brown. Like, it only took her a plane crash to realize it, but all that Shauna really wants— the
only thing that Shauna has ever really, genuinely wished for— is Jackie. And, after years upon
years of complicated feelings and misguided arguments, Shauna’s wish has finally come true.

So, with that last thought in mind, Shauna decides not to waste her time teasing Jackie for her
lackluster stargazing skills. She chooses to twist a hand into the front of Jackie’s striped crewneck
instead, desperately tugging at it with a gigantic smirk. “It’s ok if you can’t spot the Big Dipper,
Jax. Wanna know why?” Shauna asks, wiggling a suggestive eyebrow. Jackie lifts her head off of
Shauna’s chest and slowly nods, gazing at her in contemplation. She then gradually rolls on top of
Shauna, seamlessly slotting their legs together. “Well…“ Shauna murmurs, cupping Jackie’s face
between her hands. Jackie hums at the gesture, propping herself up on one hand and running the
other one through Shauna’s hair. “I’ve heard that I’m a pretty good kisser…” Shauna trails off,
inching her lips closer to Jackie’s. It’s like the air between their mouths is now whirring and
buzzing with electricity, stirring a slight shiver to crawl up Shauna’s spine. “So maybe I can just,”
Shauna pauses, bumping her nose against Jackie’s, “make you see stars, instead?”

Jackie lets out this faint giggle against Shauna’s lips, while brushing a few errant strands of hair
from Shauna’s face. “Jesus Christ. I think Tai would actually kick your ass if she heard you say
that, so it's probably a good thing that we snuck out here. Like, you are so corny. It's actually
criminal,” Jackie mock-admonishes, gently rubbing her bottom lip against Shauna’s. Of course,
Jackie is teasing her with the promise of a kiss, opting to test Shauna’s dwindling patience for her
own enjoyment. But, unsurprisingly, Jackie’s little experiment fails in record-breaking time. The
flirtatious gesture is so fucking tantalizing, that it quickly stirs Shauna to involuntarily groan right
against Jackie’s mouth. Even though the strangled sound is almost entirely muffled by Jackie’s
lingering lip, the faint noise is enough to snap the tension knot into pieces.

Shauna’s fingers instinctively tighten their grip on Jackie’s light brown waves, right as Jackie
begins to graze her teeth against Shauna’s bottom lip. She then sinks two teeth right into the
chapped skin, gradually tugging all roughly at Shauna’s bottom lip. “You think my corniness is
cute, though…” Shauna manages to choke out, once Jackie releases her hold on her lip. She giggles
in response to Shauna’s words, then latches her mouth right onto the underside of Shauna's jawline,
instead of actually answering. “I—” Shauna rasps, breaking off into a low moan. Jackie is now
sucking at this delicate patch of skin, located right below Shauna’s ear. The gesture is enough to
make Shauna’s head spin, spurring her vision to blur around the edges. She chokes down a little
lump in her throat and licks her lips, goading and preparing her now jelly-like brain to formulate
coherent sentences. “I know that you do.”

Jackie pulls back then, peering down at Shauna with this smoldering smirk. The heated look makes
Shauna’s stomach flutter, a sensation that only heightens when Jackie presses a quick peck on her
lips. “Well, yeah. Like… duh,” Jackie teases, eyes glistening with mirth. She absently toys with the
ends of Shauna’s hair, smiling all coyly now. “But, do y’know what would be even cuter?” Jackie
asks, tilting her head and biting at her lip. Shauna raises an eyebrow at Jackie, completely
perplexed by both Jackie’s words and Jackie’s abrupt decision to roll right off of her. But, with her
propensity for dramatic flair, Jackie chooses to boost Shauna’s bewilderment instead of focusing
her attention on alleviating it.

She keeps her mouth latched firmly shut and tosses a flirtatious wink right at Shauna’s confused
face, right before gradually rising to her feet. Shauna instinctively gazes up at Jackie in a haze, eyes
muddled with traces of both admiration and puzzlement. “What would be even cuter, Jax? How
can I win you over, even more?” Shauna asks, prompting Jackie’s lips to twist into a little grin. She
breezily shrugs in response, then reaches for the hem of her stupidly adorable striped crewneck.

In seconds, Jackie is slowly inching that layer of striped fabric upward, apparently electing to draw
this whole thing out and put on an enticing show for Shauna. And, yeah. Jackie’s seduction
strategy is succeeding, if the way Shauna is currently gazing up at her in silent admiration, is of
any indication. There’s a knowing smirk plastered across Jackie’s face as she finally tugs that Polo
crewneck over her head, urging Shauna’s mouth to dry out like an uncapped Expo Marker. “So,
here’s the thing…” Jackie trails off, now unbuttoning the oxford shirt still clad to her chest. Her
nimble fingers effortlessly tear open the little brown buttons, allowing her to slip the thin fabric off
of her shoulders, fairly quickly. Shauna openly goggles at the lacy white bra clad to Jackie’s chest
and the chiseled ridges of her abs, unconsciously overlooking the innocent little smile now etched
onto Jackie’s tan face. “I think it would be really cute if you took me night swimming. And, lucky
for you, there’s a whole-ass lake at our disposal. Better make it count, Shipman!” Jackie excitedly
proclaims, bending over a bit.

Shauna’s eyes instinctively dart upward and meet Jackie’s gaze, while her body outwardly shivers.
But, well. Surprisingly enough, it isn’t the captivating sight of Jackie— presently pushing her
pastel-colored shorts down, with a toothy grin on her face— that makes non-existent frost shoot
right up Shauna’s spine. Unfortunately, it is actually Shauna’s vivid memory of Lottie swaying in
waist-deep lake water, that prompts her stomach to twist. The image is now dashing across the
forefront of her mind, looping and replaying like a never-ending film reel. Lottie, staring off into
the distance, with her stony face and lifeless eyes. Lottie, with the thin fabric of her soaking wet
white nightgown, floating around her like a spirit.

The ghastly recollection must have spurred a sour look to make its way onto Shauna’s face,
because Jackie is now squinting at her all uneasily. She suddenly looks like she could cry at any
given moment, but still manages to bend down and pick her discarded clothes back up. Jackie looks
absolutely mortified, with her rapidly reddening face and drooping frown. She has clearly misread
the look on Shauna’s face as disgust, which prompts Shauna to frantically ramble off a series of
reassurances. “Yeah, yeah! That’s uh— that’s a fun idea, Jax. Let’s do that,” Shauna quickly
proclaims, frantically tugging her shirt over her head. The gesture is apparently enough to soothe
Jackie’s quick bout of embarrassment, urging her face to light up like a goddamn Christmas Tree.
“But, like. Let’s just go for a quick dip… then head back,” Shauna murmurs, lifting her hips up a
bit. She tugs her sweatpants off, then peers back up at Jackie. “Y’know… before Tai and Van notice
that we’re gone.”

Jackie playfully rolls her eyes, peering down at Shauna with a petulant pout. Shauna’s breath
catches as she maintains Jackie’s gaze, heart stuttering over how absolutely stunning she currently
looks. There’s something so picturesque about the way Jackie extends a hand out towards Shauna,
with her light brown hair swaying in the faint breeze and the stars shimmering behind her. Her tan
skin glistens beneath the soft light, highlighting all of her smooth curves and edges. She looks like
a complete vision, glowing like the star of some priceless painting, or a literal angel sent from
Heaven.

Shauna eventually manages to stutter out a breath, partially regaining her bearings. She has
apparently willed up enough brainpower to finally grab Jackie’s hand, granting Jackie full
permission to pull her to her feet. “Fine. But the roomies better thank us for being so considerate,”
Jackie huffs, with a bright grin. She tugs Shauna with her as she back peddles toward the lake,
giggling and stumbling on clumps of sand, just like she would whenever they went to the beach as
little kids.

Before Shauna can allow herself to go on yet another nostalgia-induced trip, a sudden chill works
its way up her body. It starts at her toes and works its way toward her shoulders, clearly coinciding
with the depth of the lake’s frigid water. But, thankfully, the shivers wracking Shauna’s body don’t
last for very long. The sight of Jackie— still smiling all toothily, with her hair floating around her
like a halo— warms Shauna right back up, effectively diluting the temperature of the water.

She then loops her arms around Shauna’s neck, humming and grinning all approvingly, once
Shauna’s hands instinctively find her waist. “But, um. Since we’re kind of on a time crunch…”
Jackie murmurs, voice suddenly laced with a bit of blatant nervousness. Shauna blinks at her in
confusion, absolutely astounded by Jackie’s tone. She scours every crevice of her brain, attempting
to find potential motivations for Jackie’s worried voice and scrunched up brows. But, legitimately
zero obvious explanations come Shauna’s way, prompting her mind to fizzle to a blank.
Thankfully— or, honestly, unthankfully— Jackie is quick to fill her in, right after sucking in a deep
breath and squeezing her eyes shut. “I just… God. Look, Shauna. This isn’t me like, trying to pick
a fight. But, I kind of just— fuck,” Jackie rambles, voice pitching higher and higher. She clenches
her hands into fists, scraping her nails against the bare skin of Shauna’s back. “Ok. Listen. We
never really talked about the Randy thing. Which like, fair. I guess? But, Shauna. It’s like, eating
me alive…” Jackie shakily states, prompting Shauna’s stomach to drop like the Time’s Square
Ball. The words also force Shauna’s head to spin and her face to twist into a scowl, so she is
honestly fairly thankful that Jackie’s eyes are currently latched shut. “And, honestly, I think
knowing what actually went down might like… help me get over it? Like, right now, there are just
a lot of blanks. And, um. I’ve been trying to fill all of the blanks by myself, but the entire thing just
doesn’t make sense and it's just so confusing that—”

A stream of nervous laughter unconsciously spills from the back of Shauna’s throat, oozing out of
her mouth like battery acid. The discomfiting sound abruptly cuts Jackie’s diatribe right off,
spurring her eyes to flash open in a flourish. “It’s, uh. Fuck, Jax. It was so stupid. I barely— I
barely even remember any of it,” Shauna awkwardly states, shrugging a shoulder up. Jackie just
squints at Shauna in disbelief, unraveling her arms from around Shauna’s neck. “And, c’mon. We
have to go back soon. Don’t you wanna… make the most of it?” Shauna whispers, leaning in a bit.
She’s going on the offensive, attempting to detour this conversation away from the horrifically
fabricated Randy topic, by employing her most fool-proof strategy. And, Shauna honestly thinks
that she is home-free, with her lips merely inches away from brushing against Jackie’s. But, of
course, innately stubborn Jackie fucking Taylor decides to strike back. She weaves a hand into
Shauna’s hair and roughly tugs her entire head back, forcibly restoring eye contact. “Jax,
seriously?” Shauna groans, rubbing at the back of her skull. Jackie instinctively loosens her grip on
Shauna’s hair, right as Shauna decides to plaster on the fakest smile she can muster in her
outrageously frazzled state. “Babe. Let’s just… enjoy this moment…” Shauna murmurs, placing
her hands back on Jackie’s waist. Jackie just scowls, gnawing anxiously at her lip. “It’s not worth
ruining our entire night, over something that doesn’t really matter. I mean, c’mon. It was a long
time ago, and it's not like we're in Jersey, dealing with his annoying ass. And, uh. It was just a
drunk mistake. It doesn’t matter. To me, or—”

“Oh, it doesn’t matter to you? Well, guess what! It fucking matters to me, Shauna!” Jackie
legitimately snaps, like an over-stretched rubber band. Her words come out all serrated and sharp
around the edges, effortlessly chipping away at Shauna’s poorly protected conscience. It’s like
Shauna’s resolve is crumbling right before her own eyes, splintering off into little smithereens,
while Jackie supervises the demolition site from afar. Her jaw is clenched and her eyes are all
glassy, almost like she could burst into tears at the drop of a fucking pin. “Like, how the fuck can
you even say that it doesn’t matter, when he literally knocked you up! I’m pretty sure that kind of
automatically makes it a big fucking deal, Shauna!” Jackie practically wails, with a voice so shrill
that Shauna thinks it could shatter a sheet of glass. But, well. Although Shauna simply thinks that
Jackie’s ear-piercing voice could crack glass, she knows— from, like, the way her chest is
currently aching— that it can easily smash human hearts into tiny little shards. “I mean, seriously?
Of course, I fucking care that you banged him, Shauna! It fucking sucks thinking about it, and now
you’re telling me that I should just… what?” Jackie exclaims, dramatically thrusting her hands
towards the water’s surface. And then, before Shauna can even react, a wave of cold water is
splashing right against her face. She rushes to wipe the water from her nose, rendering her
completely defenseless, as Jackie continues her onslaught. “Forget about it?” Splash. “Just…
forget that you’re literally having his fucking kid?” Splash. “Oh! Or maybe, I should just forget
that you fucked him, the day after I—”

“Fuck! Can you just—” Shauna sputters, twisting her head to the side. She blindly reaches her
hands out and bats them around a bit, before capturing both of Jackie’s hazardous wrists. With
Jackie’s wave-churning hands effectively out of commission, Shauna cracks open her eyes and
turns her head back around, facing Jackie straight-on. “Would you just— just calm down!” Shauna
stammers, while Jackie attempts to wrestle her way out of Shauna’s grip. Shauna just shakes her
head and tightens her hold on Jackie’s wrists, earning a delightfully terrifying death glare in
response. “I thought— I thought that we moved passed this. You— you said that you could get
over it!” Shauna accuses, squinting her eyes into slits. Anger and anxiety tango within Shauna’s
veins, dueling for dominance over her fragile emotional state. She’s fearful of Jackie’s potential
questions, but she’s also absolutely infuriated that Jackie can’t just let this whole situation go.
Like, at this point, Shauna really wishes that she could just transport back in time and un-fuck
stupid fucking Jeff. “You haven’t brought this shit up in weeks! So, why the fuck did you randomly
decide to stir shit up, right now? Huh? It’s not like you’ve tried talking to me about—”

“Jesus… fuck! I was trying to give you space!” Jackie shouts, prompting Shauna’s head to spin.
And, of course, Jackie takes advantage of Shauna’s short-lived stupor. She wrings her hands out of
Shauna’s grip, then theatrically lifts them right into the air. “I figured that you’d tell me everything
that happened and how it went down, eventually. I wanted you to tell me on your own terms and at
your own goddamn pace, but then you just— you just never fucking did! It’s like you just— just
forgot that this whole fucking thing with Randy affects me too!” Jackie angrily spits, driving a
grimace to materialize on Shauna’s rapidly paling face. Hearing Randy’s name— particularly in
this like, absolutely bogus context— makes Shauna’s blood boil within her flimsy veins. Jackie
doesn’t know that Randy’s name has been carefully inserted into the faux-first-time story Shauna’s
been meticulously crafting, stealing the leading role away from Jeff fucking Sadecki himself. “This
whole thing has been like, eating me alive! It’s all I think about, constantly! When I’m sleeping,
when I’m doing chores… when I’m fucking kissing you!” Jackie squawks, in a way that makes her
chest heave. Shauna just cringes in response to Jackie’s words and demeanor, finding herself
physically unable to speak, with the way her throat suddenly feels all sticky. “It fucking sucks,
because I don’t understand how it happened. Well, like, I do understand… kind of? Like you—
you told me it happened at the kegger, but that just—” Jackie cuts herself off, desperately gasping
for air. She slows her breathing down, regaining enough composure to lower her voice to a calmer
volume. “It just doesn’t make any sense. I mean like, Randy Walsh can’t pull… for shit. And like,
sure? I was a dumb fucking bitch for uh… telling you to date him,” Jackie admits, cringing a bit at
the memory. And, well. Shauna cringes too, knowing damn well that Jackie’s short-lived insistence
on pairing her off with Randy, is what pushed her to sleep with Jeff for the second fucking time.
“But I know you. I know that you hate Randy. I know that you think he’s gross. So, I’m sorry, but
the idea of you… sleeping with him? I— I just don’t get it. I’ve made up so many fake scenarios,
and even they don’t add up.”

Shauna sighs, jutting her palms into her puffy eyelids. It’s apparently time to rip off the Randy-
shaped bandaid, after months upon months of avoiding this entire ordeal. “It just… happened. I was
super drunk and super sad. And, uh. Randy was just there, I guess?” Shauna lamely states, throat
constricting a little bit. It’s a three-tiered lie, carefully constructed by Shauna’s slowly deteriorating
brain.

Like, Shauna genuinely was super drunk and super sad at that kegger, thanks to Jackie’s horrific
timing and contradictory decisions. Jackie had practically dissolved into a puddle the night before,
tearily proclaiming her love for Shauna. Then, not even twenty-four hours later, Jackie was
giggling at that kegger in Jeff’s muscular arms. And, yeah. Jackie had explained her line of
reasoning for getting back together with Jeff, right after their fucking plane crashed in the middle of
fucking nowhere. But, unfortunately, the damage had already been done. Even though Shauna
forgave Jackie and understood why Jackie did what she did, Shauna had— completely unbeknownst
to Jackie— already snapped, like a goddamn twig. She had slept with Jeff out of spite, not Randy
fucking Walsh. She had slept with Jeff— condom be damned— at her house, right after that stupid
kegger. She had slept with Jeff, while Jackie spent the entire night anxiously drunk-calling both of
them, allegedly fearful that they had gotten into a car accident.

Ironically enough, that’s exactly what Jackie had told her in Newark Airport, less than an hour
before their plane plummeted into the fucking wilderness. Like, maybe this entire ordeal— the
pregnancy, the plane crash— is some kind of karmic attack, spurred on by Shauna’s shitty
behavior. And, well. Maybe Shauna is such an awful person, that she’s managed to drag Jackie
down with her, all fucking over again.

“Oookay?” Jackie scoffs, rolling her eyes a bit. Exasperation blatantly seeps into her vocal cords,
altering Jackie’s voice in such a startling way, that the sound of it cuts Shauna straight out of her
daze. “I get that. You already told me that, Shauna,” Jackie reprimands, running a wet hand over
her cheek. She huffs, unironically sliding a hand over her mouth. “I just— I just don’t get when it
happened. I was with you, basically the entire night!” Jackie legitimately whines, frustration
mounting. The palm she has pasted onto her mouth literally trembles, shaking like a leaf in the
wind. Shauna’s stomach lurches forward at the sight, almost like an old car that has just stopped
short. “And— and we all left together. Me, you, and Jeff. It’s not like I left you alone, or gave you
time to… to—” Jackie’s voice stalls out, forcing her to clear her throat. It sounds all raspy and
mucusy, a timbre that only sharpens once she removes her hand from her face. “It’s not like I gave
you time to screw Randy in the middle of the woods!”

Shauna just gapes at her, eyes wide and bulging, like a deer caught in the headlights of a massive
semi-trailer truck. She didn’t account for this blatantly obtrusive plot hole in her poorly-conceived,
I lost my virginity to Randy Walsh and now I’m knocked up with his kid, storyline from Hell.
Jackie might have been flirting and dancing with Jeff all night long, but she was always within
Shauna’s eyesight. And, obviously, that also means that Shauna was automatically within Jackie’s
line of sight for the entirety of the kegger. Shauna wouldn’t have been able to sneak off with
Randy fucking Walsh— or like, legitimately anyone else, for that matter— without hawk-eyed
Jackie Taylor, catching her in the act. Like, Jackie literally caught Shauna fighting with Tai, from
about a soccer field’s length away. So, yeah. There is no way that Jackie would have missed
Shauna sneaking away from the bonfire, with an incredibly inebriated and loud Randy Walsh, in
tow.

Fuck. Even though she might be a future Ivy Leaguer, Shauna clearly has the problem-solving
skills of a goddamn toddler. The far-fetched story that she has been crafting for months has already
crumbled into a smoldering heap, after one fairly soft blow from Jackie. She’s blown Shauna’s
entire cover away with a gust of wind so faint, that Jackie might as well have just huffed a fucking
raspberry in Shauna’s face. So, yeah. It’s time to damage control and re-think her whole strategy,
on the goddamn fly.

“We— we… we did it at my house,” Shauna instinctively blurts out, before she even registers what
she’s just said. The words shoot out of her mouth and fly through the air like a loose cannonball,
evidently hitting Jackie directly in the face. She looks downright suspicious, with her brows
furrowed and her unblinking eyes trained on Shauna’s pasty face. Fuck. Shauna’s blood-pressure
skyrockets, just like the pitch of her voice. “Yeah. I, uh. Well like, after Jeff dropped you off… um.
He decided to drive back to Allaire… because he felt bad for leaving Randy there, all by himself.
He kept saying that Randy probably didn’t have a solid ride home, or some shit like—”

“What? Why didn’t Jeff just… drop you off at your house before turning back around?” Jackie
asks, skepticism pervading her tone. With the water obstructing her vision, Shauna can’t actually
see Jackie’s feet, but she knows— from like, years of knowing Jackie— that they are anxiously
tapping away. Jackie’s little nose is all wrinkled up too, which only happens whenever she’s
nervous or flustered. So, yeah. She’s definitely caught Shauna, yet again. Fuck. “I live like, three
blocks away from your house, Shauna. Allaire is in the other direction. Why the hell didn’t he drop
you off at your house first?“

Shauna lamely shrugs, jerkily shaking her head a bit. “I— I don’t know. I’m not the one that dated
him for four years, Jackie. If anyone should know how Jeff’s shitty little brain works, it’s you…”
Shauna defensively states, scratching at her neck. Jackie scoffs and cocks her head to the side,
apparently offended by that comment. It’s obviously not the reaction that Shauna wanted, which
forces a deep sigh to spill from her mouth. “Look, I didn’t— I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just… I
was drunk, Jackie. I don’t know what Jeff was thinking, and I really wasn’t thinking, either. I
could’ve told him to drop me off first, but I— I think I like, fell back asleep in the backseat. Or, uh,
something.”

Jackie’s head suddenly whirls back around so fast, that Shauna’s honestly fearful that Jackie
might’ve just given herself whiplash. She’s gaping at Shauna with her mouth half-open, and her
hazel eyes are now pinched into thin lines. “You got in the front seat of Jeff’s car before you left
my house, Shauna. We literally hugged goodbye. Don’t you— don’t you remember that?” Jackie
shakily asks, stumbling back a bit. The water ripples around Jackie, swirling at the same pace as
Shauna’s stomach. “How do you not remember—”

“I, uh… yeah!” Shauna exclaims, laughing a bit in faux-recollection. Jackie doesn’t look amused or
convinced, if the way she skeptically sucks her cheeks in, is of any indication. “Yeah, fuck. Now
that I’m thinking about it, I kind of remember us hugging. Guess I really was just… completely
wasted. Jesus,” Shauna dramatically laments, clicking her tongue. Jackie just blinks back at
Shauna, while worrying her lip between her teeth.

And then, after what feels like a million years to Shauna, Jackie finally regains the ability to speak.
“So, ok. Let me um, get this straight. Jeff drove all the way back to Allaire and picked up Randy,
while you were still in the car?” Jackie asks, suspicion riddling her features. Shauna hesitantly
nods, plastering a fake smile onto her now blue-ish lips. The water’s cold temperature is prickling
at Shauna’s skin all over again, but she’s honestly kind of thankful for it. She would rather be
freezing and covered in goosebumps, than unbearably hot and flushed, under Jackie’s scrutinizing
stare. “And then you just… what? Invited Randy inside of your house? When Jeff dropped you
back off?” Jackie adds, furthering her line of questioning. Shauna reluctantly nods again, right as
her heart decides to start pounding like a fucking jackhammer. Jackie eyes her up and down, tilting
her head a bit to the side. “And, Jeff didn’t like, say anything? He just… dipped? Just left you and
Randy together, fucking hammered and halfway to blacking out?” Jackie questions, although it
comes out more like an accusation. Shauna, in her robotic state, just obediently nods all over again.
“Unreal. I ask him to get you home in one piece and what does he do?” Jackie resolutely bemoans,
shaking her head in disbelief. It’s a rhetorical question, but Shauna’s mouth still droops open a bit,
just in case she needs to come up with another bullshit response. “He aids in the creation of you
and— and Randy Walsh’s lovechild!”
Shauna visibly winces at Jackie’s words, prompting Jackie’s face to twist into yet another skeptical
scowl. Fuck. “Jesus, Jax. Can we just… please stop talking about it?” Shauna practically whines,
rubbing at her temples a bit. Her head throbs from overexertion, presumably reeling from all of the
lies that she has had to come up with in such a short span of time. “I’ve answered all of your
questions, Jax. So, can we just—”

“Just one more, sweetie. It’s the last one. I swear. And um, I promise that I'm not going to ask you
to go into the gory details. I actually don't ever want to hear about... ugh. Your first time with
Randy Walsh,” Jackie proclaims, pinching the bridge of her nose in plain disgust. Shauna just sighs
all dejectedly at the horrific idea of actually sleeping with Randy, then allows her bare shoulders to
slump way down into the water. “So, um. Ok, this is kind of like, weird. But... what uh…” Jackie
murmurs, sucking in a deep breath. She stares into Shauna’s eyes so intently, that Shauna swears
Jackie can just see right through her and all of her blatant lies. “What time was it? When um—
when Jeff ended up dropping you guys back off at your house? Like, when did he leave?”

Shauna gulps, roughly swallowing down the lump that has apparently made a home in her
esophagus. She gazes into Jackie’s eyes with renewed intensity, desperately searching for the
correct answer to this mysterious question. Obviously, Jeff never actually left her fucking house,
opting to sleep in Shauna’s bed and then drive her to Newark goddamn Airport. But, like, Jackie
clearly doesn't know that. So, yeah. Shauna doesn’t really understand why Jackie is asking this
question, or what answer she is looking for.

So, Shauna quickly decides to respond with an early-ish hour, hoping and praying that this isn’t
some kind of trick question.

“Um… I don’t know? Probably like, one-ish? Maybe?” Shauna reluctantly states, sounding entirely
unconfident. And, of course, Jackie is now staring at Shauna like she’s just grown a second head.
Fuck. “I uh— I didn’t really… y’know. Check the time or anything…” Shauna quickly adds,
examining Jackie’s strange behavior. Jackie gulps roughly, causing her throat to awkwardly bob up
and down. Her mouth sags open a bit, before snapping shut, just as suddenly. And, well. There’s
this absolutely unreadable and foreign look in her hazel eyes, which scares Shauna shitless. Like,
Shauna thought that she could read Jackie like a book, after years upon years of knowing her. But,
Shauna swears that she has never seen this look before, prompting her to believe that it has been
specifically created just for this moment. “I… um. I’m kinda confused… Jax,” Shauna instinctively
sputters, in a desperate attempt to mount her defensive walls. “Why do you um… why do you need
to know when Jeff—”

"Nevermind. It's stupid. Forget it,” Jackie commands, waving a dismissive hand in the air. She
plasters on one of the fakest smiles Shauna has ever seen, then frantically darts her face away from
Shauna’s. She vacantly stares at their discarded clothes, still aimlessly scattered along the grainy
shore. “We should probably head back. We’ve been out here a while,” Jackie stoically states, eyes
still fixated on their mismatched heap of clothing. She makes absolutely zero effort to meet
Shauna’s bewildered gaze, opting to converse with the fucking shoreline in front of them.

“Ok? But, Jax. Did I say something—” Shauna flusteredly starts, before abruptly cutting herself
off. Jackie has begun to robotically march her way out of the lake, heading straight toward the
shore. And, well. For a few seconds, Shauna just stares at the back of her head in utter confusion,
allowing her brain to shortcircuit and swirl. She also suddenly feels like her legs have been
cemented to the bottom of the lake, preventing her from following right after Jackie. But then,
Shauna suddenly regains her composure, which propels her to frantically tread right after Jackie.
“Hey, babe. Are you— are you ok?” Shauna asks, right after catching up to Jackie. She still
doesn’t bother answering Shauna, even as they both trudge out of the water and back onto the
beach, side-by-side. “Like, honestly, did I say something—”
“Here,” Jackie flatly states, bending over a bit. She plucks her striped crewneck off of the ground,
before finally deciding to twist back around. But, well. Even though they’re standing face-to-face
again, Jackie legitimately refuses to meet Shauna’s bewildered gaze, much to Shauna’s chagrin.
Jackie’s hazel eyes are practically glued to the pebbly sand beneath their feet, even as she begins to
slip her prized Polo sweatshirt over Shauna’s head. “There. Now you won't freeze in just a t-shirt,”
Jackie numbly announces, after wrestling the crewneck over Shauna’s soaking wet chest. And
then, Jackie is hesitantly meeting Shauna’s eyes, plastering on a wan and crooked smile. “I’m…
um. I’m sorry for being weird,” Jackie stammers out, before placing her palms onto Shauna’s
chest. Her wet hands slowly slide down the thick fabric, while she gazes at Shauna all intently. “I
guess I just— I just don’t like the idea of you and Randy together,” Jackie murmurs, squinting her
eyes at Shauna’s face. Her gaze is like, legitimately so intense, that Shauna suddenly feels like a
specimen being examined in some huge government laboratory. “That’s all.”

“I uh… yeah. Me— me too,” Shauna shakily states, frantically nodding her head up and down.
Jackie gives her another uneasy once-over, then whips her hands away from Shauna’s body. She
then bends back over again, before robotically gathering up the rest of their discarded clothing.
Shauna watches her closely until a wave of nausea begins to churn in the pit of her stomach,
curdling it into something sour. Jackie’s being all weird and stand-offish, but Shauna’s not quite
sure why. Like, for whatever reason, Jackie is legitimately freaking out over Jeff’s falsified
departure time.

The entire situation makes Shauna’s head spin so fucking much, that she hardly even registers that
a fully-clothed Jackie is now standing directly in front of her face. Like, it’s only when Jackie
begins to snap her fingers right in front of Shauna’s blurry eyes, that Shauna finally bursts back into
reality. “Earth to Shipman,” Jackie dryly states, with a huff. Shauna just rapidly blinks at her in
response, which apparently prompts Jackie to unceremoniously shove her wadded-up sweatpants
and crumpled-up t-shirt, right into her chest. Shauna lifts her arms up in a daze, effectively trapping
the heap of fabric into a cradle. “Throw those sweats on real quick. We should go get some rest,”
Jackie quickly states, before turning on her heel.

Yet again, Jackie is unexpectedly marching off all by herself, leaving Shauna to stew in her
goddamn dust. But, thankfully, Jackie’s dramatic exit quickly spurs Shauna’s brain into high gear.
She practically leaps into the legholes of her sweats, desperately attempting not to trip over her
own fucking feet. It’s honestly a herculean task, but Shauna manages to successfully get the job
done, rather quickly. And, as soon as her sweatpants are securely wrapped around her waistline,
Shauna is shoving her t-shirt into her pocket and practically sprinting after Jackie.

After almost tripping over her own feet and several fractured twigs, Shauna manages to
successfully catch up to Jackie. But, well. When Shauna rubs the side of her hand up against one of
Jackie’s, she instinctively shoves that hand right into the pocket of her pastel-colored shorts, almost
like Shauna's touch has burned her. Then, when Shauna attempts to start up a conversation, Jackie
begins to yawn and sigh all theatrically. And then, worst of all, Jackie suddenly starts to speed-
walk right out of Shauna’s range. It’s like Jackie is intentionally attempting to ditch Shauna in the
fucking woods, in order to reach the cabin before her. And, yeah. Jackie’s sudden coldness, leaves
Shauna even more perplexed.

They’ve barely even made it halfway back to the shitty old cabin, when Shauna feels her chest
begin to rapidly tighten. She’s been keeping up with Jackie’s brisk walking pace so far, but now
she suddenly feels like she might actually keel over and have a fucking heart attack.

But, well. Shauna isn’t quite sure if the ache currently radiating throughout her entire ribcage has
been brought on by physical overexertion, or mental overexertion. It could be from all of the
swimming and treading that she just did, in the fucking lake. Or, maybe, it’s from having to sprint
to keep up with Jackie’s speedy ass. But, deep down, Shauna knows that this dull pain has probably
been spurred on by the simmering spurts of stress, currently eating away at her fragile brain and
tired body.

And, unfortunately, Shauna also knows that Jackie has somehow caught her in another blatant lie.

“Are you mad at me?”

They’re laying side-by-side in the attic, with several inches of stale space, lingering between their
bodies. And, even though there is honestly such a small amount of physical distance between them,
Jackie currently looks like she is emotionally drifting about a million miles away from Shauna.
She’s staring at the attic ceiling in a stoic daze, with her lips pressed into a thin line and her eyes
wide like saucers. Jackie has also been completely silent ever since they climbed back up here and
nestled beneath their heap of blankets, too. And, that was like, a half-hour ago.

“No,” Jackie murmurs, breaking off into a yawn. It sounds absolutely forced and fake, but Shauna
decides not to overthink it. “It’s just… uh. The whole Randy thing is really starting to sink in.”

Shauna bites back a relieved sigh, right as those words spill from Jackie’s mouth. Apparently,
Jackie isn’t acting weird because she caught Shauna red-handed, or in a poorly-conceived lie.
She’s just been acting sort of distant and cold, because she’s super upset about the alleged Randy
affair. Thankfully, Jackie still thinks that Shauna slept with Randy, even after nearly tripping
Shauna up several times. Like, Jackie whole-heartedly believes that Jeff merely pushed Randy and
Shauna into sleeping together, accidentally. And, obviously, that means that the idea of Jeff
sleeping with Shauna hasn’t even graced Jackie’s mind.

So, yeah. Shauna is home free, after months upon months, of facing insurmountable waves of stress
and anxiety.

“Oh,” Shauna eventually replies, attempting to mask the sheer amount of relief in her voice. She
then curls towards Jackie, slinging an arm around her stomach. But, well. Jackie remains flat on her
back, peering up at the ceiling, in a haze. “Look, Jackie. I'm uh, I'm really sorry. For doing it, for
not telling you about it... for like, all of it. I wish I never slept with him. I wish I waited, Jax. It
sucked. And it sucks worse, knowing how much I hurt you,” Shauna genuinely admits, kissing
Jackie’s temple. Like, even though Shauna has done a pretty bang-up job at convincing Jackie that
this baby is Randy’s, she obviously still feels like fucking shit. She knows that she is a terrible
person for sleeping with Jeff, not once, but fucking twice. And, Shauna genuinely does wish that
she had just waited, so that she and Jackie could have lost it to each other. Shauna also wishes that
she could just tell Jackie the truth, but she knows that she can't. Like, honestly, stewing in secret
guilt for the rest of her life sounds much more appealing than losing Jackie’s love and trust…
forever. “And, if you want to talk about it more, just—”

“It's fine. You were right. We should've just let this whole thing go. We're not in Jersey anymore,
and you don't even like him. It doesn't matter. Especially since we're... um. We're going to figure
this parenting thing out... together,” Jackie states, rolling over onto her left side. She is facing
completely away from Shauna now, effectively preventing Shauna from studying her demeanor.
“And I’m just… kind of tired now, honestly. Let’s um…” Jackie whispers, breaking off into
another theatrical yawn. Weird. “Let’s just go to bed, baby.”

The pet name quickly soothes the lingering traces of stress swirling through Shauna’s body,
goading her into shutting her eyes. It isn’t long before Shauna drifts off into a deep sleep,
seemingly spurred on by all of the physical and emotional exhaustion, that has been weighing
heavy on her mind and on her heart.
 And, well. She is so tired and downright sleep-deprived, that she barely even reacts when she feels
Jackie slowly slip out of her weak embrace. Shauna also somehow manages to sleep through the
sound of Jackie pacing across the room, towards the location of the haphazardly packed duffle bag,
that Shauna stole from her brother's bedroom back at home. Then, Van and Tai let out a slew of
mismatched snores and huffs from their make-shift bed, creating yet another cacophony that
threatens to tear Shauna right out of her slumber. But, the sounds are so faint and unthreatening,
that Shauna just blatantly ignores them. She pulls her flannel blanket towards her chin and
squeezes her eyes shut even tighter, willing herself to ignore all of the little noises, currently
coming from both the inside and the outside of the attic.

Shauna’s half-asleep brain does register the muffled sounds of fabric rustling and Jackie cursing,
but they’re not loud enough to actually wake her up. So, all Shauna does is groan and nestle deeper
into her now half-empty pillow, in response to those vague noises. And, unfortunately, Shauna's
unconscious decision to nuzzle her face into Jackie's side of the pillow seals her dreadful fate.
She's too hyperfocused on getting comfortable again, that she fails to recognize the unique sound of
her leather-back journal thumping against the floor, with a dull slap.

The rusty ladder then creaks at an ear-piercing volume, but Shauna still remains dead asleep. She
barely even reacts, opting to bury her ears into her pillow and huff out a weary sigh, instead of
actually waking her ass up and investigating. And, well. The pillow currently wrapped around both
of Shauna's ears, effectively muffles the tell-tale sound of Jackie's feet, pitter-pattering down the
attic steps. So, yeah. Evidently, Jackie has successfully managed to escape the attic and disappear
back into the night, with Shauna's fucking journal in tow. She has just stolen Shauna's most prized
and incriminating possession, right underneath Shauna's nose.

Ironically enough, Shauna has just inadvertently signed her own death warrant, by remaining in a
dead fucking sleep. She just... doesn't even know it yet.

Chapter End Notes

this chapter was a lot of dialogue and not a lot of drama so it took me forever cuz i was
bored writing it??? if that makes sense??? so if u guys r bored this chapter like im
sorry i agree... but jackie needed to read that journal oops.

coming up next: the first crack in the glass :( like, deadass though. the baby kicks for
the first time, which freaks an already depressed jackie tf out. van starts to catch on to
jackie and shauna, and also nat and travis break up thank god.
 can't wait for tomorrow, i might not have that long
Chapter Summary

“I don’t give a fuck anymore!” Jackie legitimately snaps, practically shooting to her
feet. She smacks the rusty can in her hands, down onto the coffee table. Water rushes
out of it like a broken dam, puddling onto the wooden floor and the grainy coffee
table. Shauna ignores the minor flood, opting to gaze up at Jackie in shock. Her fists
are clenched at her sides, while her fiery eyes flit to Shauna’s pale face. “Nothing is
ever your—” Jackie passionately starts, before abruptly pausing. She sucks in a reedy
breath, then apparently decides to recalibrate. “Y’know what? Nevermind. I’m going
to bed! Have fun dicking around down here!”

Or: Jackie emotionally spirals after reading Shauna's journal, while Shauna remains
painfully oblivious to the reason behind her sudden coldness.

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

September 1st, 1996

Misty’s tattered, paperback copy of Outlander rests right beneath Shauna’s nose, effectively
obscuring her line of sight. Her brown eyes have officially gone completely blurry, preventing her
from concentrating on the same line of text she's been meticulously poring over, for the last twenty
minutes. The tiny letters haphazardly bleed together, filling her vision with mottled black ink and
scraggly lines.

She juts a palm into both of her glazed-over eyes, desperately attempting to regain her ability to
focus on Misty’s corny romance novel. But, unsurprisingly enough, Shauna’s half-hearted efforts
are met with a resoundingly large wave of failure. Like, Shauna isn’t actually invested in the shitty
plot of this over-the-top book, in any shape or form. She’s also not like, actively pushing her
sluggish brain to comprehend any of the words scrawled across its dirt-stained pages, either.

Shauna is simply pretending to be completely enthralled with the downright tropey book in her
hands, in order to feign indifference towards the shrill screams and rough shouts, currently grating
against the inside of her eardrums.

Apparently, Shauna has unknowingly gifted herself with front-row seats to Nat and Travis’ highly-
publicized screaming match, just by sprawling her sore body across the living room couch. And,
well. Considering the fact that Mari and Jackie are currently sitting right in front of the
neighboring fireplace, Shauna quickly deduces that they can also hear the absolute verbal
onslaught, presently occurring behind the boys’ bedroom door.

“Who the fuck even told you?” Nat wails, with a voice sharper than Shauna’s butcher’s knife. Her
words come out so irregularly high-pitched, that Shauna outwardly winces in utmost surprise. And,
of course, Natalie’s ear-piercing cry warrants a melodramatic response from Mari.

She pointedly shifts her leering eyes between Jackie’s frowning face and Shauna’s stoic
countenance, before cocking her head toward the sealed door. So, yeah. Mari effortlessly proves
Shauna’s previous theory correct, in about five seconds.

Jackie, however, remains uncharacteristically detached from the situation at hand. The look on her
face doesn’t warp or shift, in response to Mari’s blatant gesture or Natalie’s squawky words.
Instead, Jackie just continues to dazedly peer into the crackling fireplace, almost like she is
completely unaware of all of the drama currently unfolding. Her knees are drawn to her chest and
her bony arms are also looped around her legs, causing her to appear even smaller than usual. She
legitimately looks like she could shrink through the jagged gaps in the wooden floorboards at any
given moment, which just makes Shauna’s stomach twist, yet again.

For the past week or so, this foreboding feeling has been worming its way through Shauna’s gut,
directly coinciding with Jackie’s decision to be oddly distant. She has been struggling to meet
Shauna’s eyes and has been actively avoiding Shauna’s conversational attempts, opting to
aimlessly drift around the cabin like a literal ghoul, instead. But, well. Even though Jackie’s
abnormally frigid demeanor fills Shauna with this utmost sense of dread, Shauna figures that she is
just overthinking the entire situation. Like, Jackie is presumably still reeling from their Randy-
centric discussion, which is why she is currently maintaining her distance from Shauna. She
probably just needs a little bit more time, in order to fully ruminate over all of the horrifically
fabricated information that Shauna has fed her with.

So, Shauna continues to give Jackie her space, by focusing all of her attention on eavesdropping.
And, thankfully for Shauna, she doesn’t really have to strain her sore ears all that much. “Ah, so it
is true,” Travis sharply spits, allowing the sound to ooze through the cracks in the doorframe. Mari
smirks all devilishly and triumphantly at Travis’ words, which Shauna views as a glaring red flag.
Of course, the notorious blabber-mouth herself, is responsible for Travis and Natalie’s divorce
hearing from Hell. “I seriously can’t fucking believe you. Bobby Farleigh? And you just—”

“Travis…” Natalie softly murmurs, clearly trying to disarm his defenses. Travis just scoffs in
response, which apparently provokes Mari’s shit-eating grin to expand. And, well. Now, Shauna’s
eyes are rolling of their own accord, right at the dastardly look on Mari’s perfectly-punchable face.
“Look. It was stupid, alright? I was drunk… it was months ago. It doesn’t even matter any—”

“No, you lied to me,” Travis grits out, with a condescending huff. And, weirdly enough, that
accusatory statement seems to snap Jackie out of her taciturn trance. Jackie finally tears her eyes
away from the flickering fireplace, before reluctantly glancing over at Shauna’s face. She then
shoots the most off-putting look ever in Shauna’s general direction, spurring Shauna to just blink
down at her slumping body, in utter bewilderment. Like, Jackie’s face currently looks stiffer than a
slab of stone, with her lips stretched into a thin line and her brows narrowed tightly together. It’s
such a strange and foreign sight, but Shauna isn’t granted the opportunity to study it for very long.
Travis’ booming voice suddenly spills out of the bedroom once again, effectively drenching
Jackie’s face in another thick layer of frown lines. “You said that you…”

“That I've only been with two guys? Yeah,” Natalie concedes, with an earth-shattering sigh. Mari
instinctively huffs out an incredulous chuckle at that one, which urges Shauna to shoot her a
disapproving death glare. Jackie, on the other hand, chooses to pay Mari absolutely zero mind. She
keeps her unblinking eyes glued to Shauna’s face, studying her intently. “But, that’s because I knew
that if I told you about it, then you'd fսcking hate me! And I— I slept with him way before I even
knew you,” Natalie shakily adds, spurring yet another scoff to fly from Travis’ lips. Jackie seems
weirdly affected by this admission too, if the way she gnaws at her lip and narrows her eyes at
Shauna’s face, is of any indication. And, of course, Shauna’s natural instinct is to shrug her
shoulders and plaster on a crooked smile. Jackie shakes her head at the gesture, before shifting her
undivided attention right back to the roaring fire in front of her. Weird. “I had no idea about the
whole Flex thing,” Nat abruptly proclaims, cutting Shauna right out of her Jackie-induced trance.
She shuts her book and tosses it onto the empty couch cushion next to her, then hesitantly peers
over at the bedroom door. “I made a mistake, ok?”

“Yeah…” Travis numbly murmurs, with a voice so incredibly soft, that Shauna barely even hears
him. Mari dramatically sucks in a breath, then allows her dark eyes to instinctively widen and
swivel right toward the sealed bedroom door. “Well, apparently, so did I.”

Shauna gulps roughly, right as those ungraceful words fly straight out of Travis’ broody mouth.
And, well. Jackie also outwardly reacts, opting to harshly jut her palms into her now puffy eye
sockets.

“What the fսck does that mean?” Natalie practically screams, while Shauna finally analyzes
Jackie’s face. A few bursts of orange light illuminate Jackie’s withering side profile— highlighting
the delicate sweep of Jackie’s eyelashes, the soft curve of Jackie’s lips, and the roundness of
Jackie’s doe-like eyes. Normally, when Shauna looks at her, an overwhelming sense of warmth
instinctively floods the pit of her stomach. But, well. Right now, the mere sight of Jackie’s pretty
face, just amplifies the anxious feeling that has been haunting Shauna for the past week. “Hey!”
Natalie screeches, clearly attempting to regain Travis’ attention. The sharpness of her voice also
inadvertently snaps Shauna out of her own daze, prompting her to shift her focus away from
Jackie’s face. “What the fuck does that mean, Travis?”

Yet again, Shauna awkwardly glances right over her shoulder, training her weary eyes on the
sealed door standing behind her back. “What do you think it means, Nat?” Travis all but barks,
provoking Shauna’s ears to ring. She rubs at them and squeezes her eyes shut, desperately
attempting to alleviate the headache that has begun flaring up. “Huh?”

“Are you seriously gonna ruin this over something so fucking stupid?” Natalie fires back, which
evidently rips a disapproving sigh from the back of Jackie’s throat. Her face is still slack and her
eyes are still blank, but they are now trained on the door instead of the fireplace. An awkward
silence then pricks into the air, spurring Shauna to believe that Travis has chosen to just
nonchalantly shrug, in response to Natalie’s blunt words. And, of course, Natalie’s next statement
quickly proves that Shauna’s assumption was right. “Then I guess it's a good thing that you
couldn't get it up. This would've been a whole lot harder if we'd actually fսckеd.”

Mari instinctively lets out this ear-curdling gasp, while Jackie visibly shakes and begins to
awkwardly shrink, in response to Natalie’s harsh words. Her face pales and her eyes go slightly
glassy, pushing Shauna’s head to spin in absolute disarray. Like, yeah. Over the past few months,
Natalie and Jackie have definitely become relatively close friends. Jackie constantly hangs out on
the porch with Nat, where she listens to her aimlessly blabber on and on about Travis and his
inability to get it up.

So, like... yeah. It would obviously make sense for Jackie to feel bad about Travis and Natalie’s
highly publicized breakup, due in part to her and Nat’s newfound friendship. But, well. The fact
that this screaming match manages to tear such a visceral reaction out of Jackie— who like, isn’t
even actually one of the combatants involved in it— kind of astounds Shauna.

But, right as Shauna’s mind begins to whirl into high gear, Travis conveniently decides to bolt out
of the bedroom like a runaway train. He whips the rickety door open with so much force, that it
smashes a portion of the wall with a loud thud. And, well. The sound snaps Shauna’s synapses
back into place, spurring Shauna to focus all of her attention on Travis’ temper tantrum, instead of
on her Jackie-centric theories.

Steam practically shoots right out of Travis’ red-tipped ears as he marches toward the front door,
which he quickly wrings open and slams shut, in a flourish. And then, not even seconds later,
Natalie is storming directly out of the wide-open bedroom door. Her fists are clenched at her sides
and her fiery eyes are narrowed straight at Mari, who automatically cowers into one of the coffee
table’s cracked legs.

“Was it you? Did you tell him that bullshit? Huh, Mar?” Natalie growls, a scowl creeping onto her
pale face. Mari’s mouth droops open and closed several times, leaving her to just blink back at
Natalie’s face, in tacit terror. “Right…” Natalie spits, jutting a finger in Mari’s direction. She
shakes her head and lets out this sardonic chuckle, right as Mari dramatically drops her head in a
clear-cut admission of guilt. “Fսck you, Mari!”

And, with that, Natalie dramatically stomps right out of the living room. She then hurls open the
front door and thumps out of the cabin with thundering footsteps, leaving Mari’s flustered gaze to
flicker between Jackie and Shauna.

“Jesus. What the hell are you looking at us for?” Shauna automatically blurts out, scoffing at Mari
in admonishment. Of course, Mari just rolls her eyes in response, which pisses Shauna off even
more. “Seriously? You have nothing to fucking say, after homewrecking our teammate’s
relationship for fun?”

Mari puckers her lips into a sour pout and shrugs all breezily, but Shauna barely pays her smug
demeanor any mind. Instead, Shauna’s eyes instinctively swivel toward Jackie, who is currently
clambering to her feet.

“I’m um…” Jackie trails off, clumsily tossing a thumb over her shoulder. Shauna’s jaw legitimately
drops over how uncharacteristically awkward Jackie currently looks, with her arms crossed firmly
over her chest and her lips bowed into a straight line. “I think I should go uh. Check on Nat. That
was… messy,” Jackie awkwardly stammers, sniffling a bit. She meets Shauna’s worried gaze for a
split second, before darting her eyes downward. “So…” Jackie murmurs, staring at her own feet.
She shuffles them in place for a few seconds, then begins to back peddle towards the front door. “I
guess I’ll see you guys—”

“Woah, hey!” Shauna exclaims, practically leaping to her feet. She rushes towards Jackie so fast,
that she literally stumbles over Mari, who is still pouting on the floor. And, well. Mari huffs and
glares up at Shauna’s face in response, apparently unamused by Shauna's ability to catch Jackie by
the bicep. “Jax… wait a sec,” Shauna murmurs, squeezing lightly at Jackie’s arm. She squeaks and
flinches in response to the small amount of pressure, but still freezes mid-step. Shauna just gawks
at her in confusion, before loosening her grip and clearing her sticky throat. “I, uh. I’ve barely seen
you, like… all week. Don’t you wanna… hang out? Nat probably needs some time to cool off,
anyways.”

Jackie plasters on a forced smile, before gradually twisting her arm out of Shauna’s grasp. “I’m uh.
No... I’m gonna… go,” Jackie awkwardly says, legitimately recoiling away from Shauna’s hand.
Shauna just blinks at Jackie in pure astonishment, while Mari’s eyes begin bouncing between them,
like a spectator at a tennis match. “But… let’s hang out later though, Shipman!” Jackie cloyingly
proclaims, with a voice so pitchy that Shauna and Mari both outwardly flinch at the sound of it.

Shauna cracks her mouth open in a hopeless attempt to speak, before abruptly snapping it shut. She
honestly feels like she is suffering from whiplash, with the way her brain suddenly feels all swirly
and scrambled. And, of course, Jackie wastes no time in taking advantage of Shauna’s dazed state.
She practically sprints away from Shauna and Mari, before unceremoniously booking it right out of
the front door.

The door slams shut behind her with a clangorous clunk, leaving Shauna to scratch at the back of
her neck, in unadulterated bafflement. She is apparently so completely stunned, that she hardly even
registers the sound of Mari’s voice. Like, it’s only when she feels Mari’s hand clap against the
small of her back, that Shauna finally tears her gaze away from the front door.

“Shauna? Hellooo?” Mari exasperatedly huffs out, prompting Shauna to reluctantly spin around.
And, well. Shauna is immediately blessed with an overdramatic eye roll, as soon as she meets
Mari’s sharpened gaze. “Do you think Jackie’s like… mad at me now? I didn’t realize she like,
actually gives a shit about Flex and Nat’s gross sexcapades. I was just trying to—”

“You were just trying to start shit. For no fucking reason. Like usual,” Shauna snaps, prompting
Mari to gag and choke on her own words. Shauna then leans down and grabs Misty’s dirt-stained
book off of the couch, before gradually pulling herself back upright. “Jackie’s probably just
annoyed, alright? But, seriously?” Shauna leers, slowly inching closer to Mari. She scowls and
instinctively stumbles back, right as Shauna unceremoniously shoves Misty’s book against her
chest. “Cut the bullshit, Mari. Get an actual fucking hobby. Read a book. Touch some grass. I don’t
care. Just…” Shauna trails off, while Mari angrily tears the paperback out of her grasp. Mari
examines the cover and scoffs at it, before flinging the book back onto the couch, without much
fanfare. “Stop involving yourself in other people’s shit.”

Mari shakes her head and shoves Shauna to the side, just so that she can huff and puff her way
towards the dining room. “It’s not my fucking fault that everyone is acting so goddamn weird and
tense all of a sudden!” Mari mutters, tossing the words over her shoulder, like an afterthought.
Shauna just scoffs, rubbing at her temples in agitation. “And, guess what, Shauna! You’re little
bestie out there…” Mari taunts, abruptly spinning around. She levels Shauna with a shit-eating
grin, then juts a finger towards the front door. “She’s been acting the weirdest out of everyone! So,
I don’t know. Maybe you should involve yourself in her fucking shit, before she turns into a full-on
zombie!”

Shauna’s jaw instinctively plunges downward, crashing right onto the wooden floorboards. Her
stomach curdles and sours, flooding her gut with waves upon waves of red-hot anxiety. She
suddenly feels like her skin is too tight, effectively ensnaring her in a thick web of overbearing
pressure and scalding heat.

Shauna thinks she might actually pass out, with the way her head is throbbing and her ears are
tingling. But, of course, Mari seems entirely unaffected by the ghostly look on Shauna’s face. She
just huffs out this haughty little noise and pointedly turns on her heel, marching right into the
dining room, with her head held high.

It’s like the weight of the entire world crashes down onto Shauna right then, effortlessly crushing
her body and soul into little bits and pieces.

Shauna hasn’t been overreacting or overthinking things, for the past week or so. Jackie has
definitely been acting super weird, a fact quickly validated by Mari and all of her snide remarks.
Like, Shauna certainly isn’t just paranoid, if Mari— with her like, terminal case of self-
centeredness— has also picked up on Jackie’s unusually cold demeanor.

So, of course, Shauna allows that over-active mind of hers to freely wander. She chooses to let her
brain spiral, inadvertently sending herself down a Jackie-centric rabbit hole. The gears trapped
within her forehead twist and turn, scraping uncomfortably against the inside of her skull.
Honestly, Shauna suddenly feels like she is trying to solve the most complicated Algebra equation,
in the entire world.

But, well. (Un)fortunately, Shauna is a future Ivy Leaguer. So, yeah. Unsurprisingly, it isn’t long
before she has conjured up a series of far-fetched and unlikely scenarios, that could possibly
account for Jackie’s behavioral shift.
Although, to be completely fucking honest, none of them actually relieve Shauna of her creeping
concerns. Like, if anything, her own lame attempts to justify Jackie’s despondence, end up
stressing her out even more.

Ironically enough, Shauna’s raging anxiety raises to an all-time high, several hours later.

She’s currently laying on the cold attic floor, with her flannel blanket stashed behind her sore back.
Jackie is straddling her hips, but she continues to bow her spine like a stiff plank. Shauna, however,
refuses to be deterred. She wraps a hand around the nape of Jackie’s neck and tugs it forward,
desperately attempting to force their lips together.

Much to Shauna’s chagrin, Jackie legitimately refuses to budge. She stiffens her neck and
purposely cranes it back, effectively evading kissing range. So, with her agitation mounting,
Shauna scrambles up onto her elbows. She leans upward at an incredibly awkward angle, allowing
an uncomfortable crick to form at the base of her neck. But, Shauna begins to disregard the funky
feeling shooting up her spine, right when she finally manages to slot her mouth against Jackie’s.

Her lips graze Jackie’s lightly, almost teasingly, in an attempt to goad her into deepening the kiss.
In a downright surprising turn of events, Jackie doesn’t take the bait. She makes no effort to move
her lips, opting to leave them frozen and rigid, against Shauna’s hungry mouth. So, in a last-ditch
effort, Shauna frustratedly rocks her hips up. Usually, Jackie would grind her own hips down,
quickly escalating the pace far beyond Shauna’s rhythm. But, right now, Jackie remains
completely still. She huffs out an exasperated grunt against Shauna’s lips, which effectively urges
Shauna to just… give up and throw in the towel.

Shauna sighs and dramatically drops her head onto her pillow, before reluctantly peering up at
Jackie’s face. “Are you like… ok?” Shauna hesitantly asks, biting at her own lip. Jackie just tilts
her head and squints down at Shauna in confusion, which instantaneously strikes a nerve. “No…
nope. You’ve been super distant, Jackie! Even Mari thinks that you’ve been acting weird lately.
So— so don’t look at me like I’m just… crazy or something!” Shauna angrily proclaims, huffing
out shaky breaths. She crosses her arms over her chest, narrowing her eyes at Jackie, in sheer
annoyance.

Jackie tries on an incredibly weak smile, clearly attempting to act apologetic. “I’m not trying to be
distant. I’m um… sorry?” Jackie feebly states, sounding entirely unconvincing. Her voice comes
out all raspy and prickly, almost like those words have been preemptively lodged in her throat, for
several days. “I think I’m just… worried about Nat. I feel so bad, because she really likes Travis.
And their whole situation is, uh. Very, very complicated…” Jackie trails off, scrutinizing Shauna’s
face. Her fiery eyes meander across Shauna’s features, which just makes Shauna’s skin crawl.

“Ok… I uh— I get that. But, Jackie…” Shauna stammers, clearing her throat a bit. She currently
feels like she is running a fever, with the way her cheeks continue to ache and burn, underneath
Jackie’s intense gaze. But, well. It’s not like Jackie’s coldness is some brand-new development,
spurred on by Natalie and Travis’ breakup. So, Shauna swallows down the lump in her throat, in
order to disclose that bit of valuable information to Jackie. “This isn’t like, new. You’ve been
acting like this for the past—”

“I just— I just can’t believe that she lied to Travis… y’know?” Jackie derisively proclaims, before
melodramatically shaking her head. Something acidic shoots up Shauna’s esophagus, in response
to those double-edged words. And, Shauna must be pulling a sour face, because Jackie begins to
run a reassuring hand through her dark locks. “And, like, the whole situation just… sucks. It’s
actually so fucking stupid and could’ve easily been avoided. All Nat had to do was tell Travis the
truth…” Jackie begrudgingly grumbles, before abruptly stilling her fingers in Shauna’s hair.
Shauna’s stomach all but drops, in response to Jackie’s blunt words and disconnected demeanor. “I
mean… don’t get me wrong. I think Nat is like, super fun and super cool. But, ugh. Lying to
someone that you love…” Jackie dramatically trails off, sucking in a reedy breath. She then gazes
down at Shauna all expectantly, with this cloying smile on her lips. And, ironically enough, that
fairly innocent look spurs Shauna’s heart to stutter to a complete stop. Fuck. “That’s totally not a
cute look. Like, I can’t even imagine doing something like that. Especially to you… sweetie.”

Shauna swears that she can feel her heart shrivel up in her chest, wilting like a dead and ugly
flower. The urge to finally tell Jackie the truth is there, tart and glued to the tip of her dry tongue.
But, after a few laborious breaths, Shauna decides to swallow down all of that acidic information.
The fear of what will happen if she does tell Jackie the truth effectively overpowers Shauna’s better
judgment and Shauna’s guilty feelings, provoking her to just bob her head in hypocritical
agreement.

“I— uh… yeah. I don’t— I don’t think that I could do that to you… either,” Shauna reluctantly
stammers, forcing a small smile onto her face. Jackie’s face, on the other hand, absolutely falters.
She pales and shrinks, wringing her hand out of Shauna’s hair. The stony look on Jackie’s face
makes Shauna’s stomach lurch, but it also encourages her to cup Jackie’s cheek. She hesitantly
reaches a reassuring hand out, but Jackie immediately slaps it away. “Jackie, what the fuck?”
Shauna murmurs, huffing in disbelief. She gapes at Jackie’s face in confusion, before registering
the glassy look in her hazel eyes. The sight makes Shauna instantly soften, melting her lingering
frustrations into a pool of goo. "Did I— fuck. Did I say something—”

“Do you love me?” Jackie abruptly asks, with a voice so fragile and weak, that Shauna barely even
hears her. She sniffles and rubs at her tear-filled eyes, leaving Shauna to blink at her in puzzlement.
Like, at this point, Jackie’s erratic behavior is starting to give Shauna emotional whiplash.
“Shauna… do you—”

“I— yes,” Shauna spits out, squinting at Jackie in astonishment. She just frowns and sighs all
dejectedly, before rapidly darting her glassy eyes away from Shauna’s face. Jackie stares blankly at
some random hole in the wall, nibbling at the inside of her cheek. And, well. Shauna grabs Jackie’s
waist and squeezes her hips, in a desperate attempt to snap her out of whatever the fuck this is.
“Jax. You know how much I love you. How can you even ask me—”

Shauna abruptly cuts herself off with a sharp gasp, while her hands instinctively settle onto her
stomach. And, apparently, the sudden commotion is all it takes to cut Jackie out of her daze. Her
eyes fly right back to Shauna’s face, before she allows her gaze to flicker downward.

She stares at Shauna’s stomach with lifeless eyes, while Shauna thrusts a hand up and grabs
Jackie’s wrist. Jackie hardly reacts to Shauna’s touch, remaining absolutely catatonic, even as
Shauna forcibly guides her limp hand directly onto her small baby bump.

“The baby’s moving,” Shauna announces, urging a soft whimper to spill from the back of Jackie’s
throat. Shauna responds to the sound by covering Jackie’s hand with her own, entwining their
fingers together.

Their interlaced hands rest on top of Shauna’s somewhat swollen stomach, right as the baby
suddenly decides to shift again. It’s a faint and fluttery sensation, that honestly feels more like a
little tickle than a full-blown kick. And, well. Shauna’s not quite sure if Jackie can even feel the
baby’s subdued and infrequent movements, yet her hazel irises still expand in sheer panic.

And then, Jackie starts full-on bawling, legitimately out of nowhere. Tears stream down her face
like a waterfall, coating her pinkish cheeks in a thick layer of salt water. Her body trembles from
the force of her sobs, but she still manages to tear her hand away from Shauna’s stomach.
“Babe, hey. It’s ok… it’s ok…” Shauna coos, which somehow drives Jackie to wail even harder.
She covers her watery eyes with her hands, then begins to jostle her head back and forth. “Jax. Can
you please just— just talk to me?” Shauna murmurs, reaching upward. She circles Jackie’s wrists,
which allows her to gradually pull Jackie’s hands away from her face. “You’re scaring me, Jackie.
I don’t get what’s going on with—”

“I don’t wanna be here anymore!” Jackie practically screeches, vocal cords straining from the
force of it. Shauna’s stomach swirls with concern, right as Jackie decides to choke out yet another
sob. “I want to go home. I can’t— I can’t keep doing this!” Jackie cries, verging on hysterical. Her
voice comes out thick with mucus, which causes all of her words to incoherently jumble together. “I
can’t keep living like this!” Jackie tearfully proclaims, wringing her hands out of Shauna’s grasp.
She squeezes her eyes tightly shut, before robotically shaking her head to and fro. “I can’t keep
doing this, anymore. I seriously can’t. I hate—”

Shauna scrambles to sit up, then practically lunges for Jackie’s lips. She cups Jackie’s face with
one hand and weaves the other one through Jackie’s hair, gently smoothing it out for her. “I love
you… ok?” Shauna murmurs, pulling back a bit. She nudges her nose against Jackie’s, then traces
her thumb over Jackie’s tear-stained cheek. “Everything’s gonna be fine, Jax. Natalie and Travis
are gonna work things out. And… uh. We’re going to get rescued, so soon. There’s probably a shit
ton of big wig, government planes looking for us. There’s no way that we’re going to be stuck out
here much longer,” Shauna adds, eliciting a dismal sniffle from Jackie. Shauna gazes into Jackie’s
murky eyes and sighs, before planting another quick peck on her lips. “We’ll be back in Jersey in
no time. Trust me.”

But, well. Much to Shauna’s confusion and horror, those words accidentally provoke yet another
sobbing spell. Jackie leans forward and buries her head into Shauna’s shoulder, crying right into
the thick material of her flannel. The sound of Jackie’s raspy wails manages to smash Shauna’s
heart into about a million smithereens, so Shauna attempts to comfort her. She cups the back of
Jackie’s skull and wraps her other arm around Jackie’s waist, while whispering reassurances
directly into her ear.

Jackie pulls back then, apprehensively examining Shauna’s face, with wide eyes. Shauna matches
her gaze, then shifts her eyes downward. She allows them to linger on Jackie’s crooked frown,
which inadvertently provokes yet another absolutely grueling swell of anxiety, to slam into the
side of her gut.

Shauna instinctively surges forward and presses her mouth against Jackie’s again, in order to quell
the raging guilt, currently coursing throughout her entire body. She runs her fingers through
Jackie’s hair and moves her lips against Jackie’s steely ones, desperately attempting to snap her out
of this funk. Shauna’s plan sort of works, if the way Jackie’s lips are suddenly matching the
rhythm of Shauna’s own, is of any indication.

But, well. Jackie still seems entirely disconnected from the situation at hand, honestly. She doesn’t
make any effort to touch Shauna, like she normally would. Instead, Jackie just clenches her hands
into fists, balling them up at her sides. She also doesn’t say anything to Shauna, either. All Jackie
does is pitifully whimper right into Shauna’s mouth, which makes something inside of Shauna
ache. Her heart stings and her head throbs, but Shauna is hell-bent on kissing away all of Jackie’s
tears. She moves her lips to Jackie’s cheeks, then begins to clumsily kiss at all of the little specks
of salt, currently coating her flushed face.

Shauna knows that her mouth is currently roving and roaming around Jackie’s face in a downright
graceless manner, but she honestly could not care less. She just wants Jackie to be freed from her
own sadness, as well as her thick and salty tears.
Of course, Shauna doesn’t actually get the chance to permanently quell Jackie’s sorrow, in any
shape or form. If anything, Shauna accidentally makes Jackie feel even worse.

She shifts her lips downward, quickly gluing them right back onto Jackie’s.

Jackie is whining into her mouth all over again, but, this time, she decides to actually touch
Shauna. She unfurls one of her fists and immediately twists her fingers into Shauna’s hair, yanking
at a few of Shauna’s dark locks. The pressure and the roughness make Shauna’s scalp burn, but she
honestly doesn’t care. She’s just grateful that Jackie has finally decided to touch her, after an entire
week of downright bizarre disconnect. And, well. Jackie’s touch spurs Shauna to toss all of her left-
over rationale, straight out of the attic window. Her brain shortcircuits, allowing her to focus all of
her attention on the noises that Jackie keeps making.

Shauna has managed to block out the rest of the world, in the blink of an eye. It’s like nobody else
exists, besides her and Jackie. It’s like they’ve built their own little world, up in this tiny attic. But,
well. The world doesn’t actually revolve around Shauna fucking Shipman.

If it did, maybe Shauna would have detected the tell-tale sound of sneakers, gradually thumping
closer and closer. Or, maybe, Shauna would have ignored the sound of Jackie’s little sniffles, in
favor of focusing her attention on the rickety ladder squeaking.

But, nope.

“Hey, losers. Can one of you fill me in on the Nat—”

Van.

Shauna’s eyes fly wide open, treating her to a close-up look at Jackie’s tomato-red face. Her hazel
eyes are nearly saucer-like, bulging almost comically out of their sockets. She matches Shauna’s
horrified gaze for just a split second, before planting her palms onto Shauna’s chest.

Jackie forcibly shoves her downward, unintentionally disconnecting their lips with a resoundingly
loud smack. The wet sound slices through the silence like a gunshot, which just makes Jackie’s
little nose twitch. She then juts her palms into her watery eyes, rubbing harshly at them. A sniffle
soars out of her nose, while a few stray tears escape the wrath of her hands. Shauna watches her
closely, before quickly acknowledging that Jackie is definitely down for the count.

It’s only then, that Shauna finally musters up the courage to spare a glance at Van.

She’s standing right near the attic door, blinking at Shauna in clear-cut shock. Her mouth is
hanging open and her chin is cocked into the air, which somehow makes her scars look more
prominent. She is holding onto the handle of the rusty water bucket, but then she suddenly loosens
her grip on it.

The metal bucket clatters to the floor with a sharp clank, prompting Jackie to flinch. It also seems
to snap Jackie right back into reality, because she is then virtually clambering out of Shauna’s lap.
Shauna, on the other hand, just remains frozen. She feels like her head has been super-glued to her
pillow, but she still manages to keep her eyes fixated on Van.

Jackie rushes to her feet and stumbles towards Van, swaying a bit in her step. She plucks the
bucket off of the ground with shaky hands, which just shocks Shauna even more. And then, Jackie
is tilting her head downward, in a deliberate attempt to avoid the stunned look on Van’s face.

“I’m gonna go— go fill this,” Jackie stammers, staring at her own feet. Van stutters out several
ineligible words, gazing at Jackie with blown-up pupils. But, well. Jackie purposely avoids making
eye contact, opting to keep her gaze glued to the floor. She then inches closer to the ladder, before
frantically climbing down it. “Bye Shauna,” Jackie weakly calls out, after already making her way
back onto the first floor of the cabin.

After several additional, painstakingly long seconds, Shauna hears the front door slam shut with a
faint clunk. Shauna outwardly winces at the sound, although she knows— like, way deep down—
that she is actually cringing over how awful and awkward her day has been.

But, of course, Shauna’s day of discomfort can’t just end with that.

Van peers between Shauna’s frazzled face and the attic door, pursing her lips together. She
unironically taps at her chin, then points a finger towards the rickety ladder. “Wow. So… all of
those gay-ass stares. And, um. That long-ass 'bathroom break' at Mari's party. Huh…" Van
murmurs to herself, in quiet realization. Shauna just groans, covering her blushing face with her
hands. It’s apparently an incredibly stupid move, because Van suddenly decides to essentially
sprint towards her. “This is nuts. Never thought I would actually see the day…”

She hovers over Shauna, eyes wide in silent wonder, until she begins to whistle. Shauna tears her
hands away from her face, peering up at her in confusion. “Look…Van,” Shauna murmurs, sucking
in a deep breath. Her lungs sting and her head keeps spinning, already searching for ways to
apologize to Jackie. And, thankfully, Van gives her brain a break by pausing mid-whistle-note.
“Can you please just—”

“Let’s go for a walk,” Van proclaims, with a cheeky grin. She then extends a hand towards Shauna,
which she reluctantly takes. And, well. Unlike Jackie, Van is pretty fucking strong, so she easily
yanks Shauna to her feet. “I’m really gonna need a play-by-play on this one,” Van adds,
immediately clapping Shauna across the back. Shauna just sighs, before allowing an overly-
enthusiastic Van, to steer her toward the attic ladder. “This is the most interesting and exciting
thing to happen around here, since we first found those porno mags. Which uh… your crazy
gal forced Misty to burn. By the way.”

Shauna wheezes out an indignant huff at the memory, before slowly making her way down the
stairs. Van trails right behind her, following after her so closely, that it’s almost like she’s afraid
that Shauna is some kind of flight risk.

Which, like… yeah. Truthfully, Shauna wishes that she could just… fly away. She wishes that she
could soar straight out of this cabin, because it would instantaneously free her of all of the drama,
currently lingering within its walls.

It would also release her from the shackles of her lies and her feelings of guilt, too.

Van throws a hand in front of Shauna’s chest, effectively stopping her mid-step.

“Woah, woah… woah. Slow your horses, Shauna. Tai said… what now?”

They have spent the last hour or so, talking and walking, side-by-side. But, well. Right now,
Shauna is standing still, on some random dirt trail. She can hear water swooshing in the distance,
so she automatically assumes that they are somewhat close to the lake.

Van clears her throat, quickly regaining Shauna’s unadulterated attention. She then prances directly
in front of Shauna, shaking her head with a grin. Shauna just shrugs, gazing at her with doe-like
eyes and a slight pout.

“I… um. Well… she said that her gaydar is really good,” Shauna murmurs, kicking at a random
pebble on the ground. Van crosses her arms over her chest and chews at the inside of her lip, before
letting out an incredulous guffaw. “And, that I uh… set it off?” Shauna hesitantly states, prompting
Van to let out a fucking squeal. Shauna squints at her in offense, which apparently spurs Van to
cover her mouth with her palm. Jesus Christ. “But, um. Jackie doesn’t— or uh, she didn’t— set it
off. So, for a while, Tai just thought that I had some kinda tragic crush on—”

Van abruptly slides her palm off of her face, before thrusting it right at Shauna. The gesture spurs
Shauna to cut herself off, leaving her to gaze at Van in puzzlement.

“I think Tai’s gaydar might need some fine fucking tuning. Jesus Christ. I love her to death, but she
is so dumb sometimes,” Van murmurs, rolling her eyes good-naturedly. Shauna just gapes at her in
confusion, which apparently urges Van to barrel on. “I mean, sure. Yeah. I used to catch you
checking Jackie out in the locker room, all the fucking time. And, uh. With all of the flannel that
you wear, you might as well just write ‘I like women’ across your forehead,” Van chipperly
proclaims, prompting Shauna to huff. Like, honestly, Shauna is starting to get so sick of listening to
people analyze her style preferences. “But… holy fuck. Shauna. You might be kinda obvious, but
Jacqueline is like… a walking gay flag.”

Shauna’s face creases, with the way her forehead and eyes scrunch up, in graceless bafflement. She
knows that she probably looks dumbstruck, so she really isn’t all that surprised when Van keels
over and begins to giggle. “I— how? She dated Jeff, for over—”

“For over four years. Yeah,” Van acknowledges, shaking her head in disbelief. She huffs out
another laugh, staring intently into Shauna’s eyes. “But… did she ever bone him? In that long-ass
period of time? Nope,” Van affirms, enthusiastically shrugging her shoulders up. Shauna honestly
doesn’t understand why Van is so interested in this situation, so she just continues to stare at her,
like a deer in headlights. “That always kinda confused me. Especially since she’s not like, super
fucking religious. I’ve literally seen her taking bong rips and chugging beers, with my own eyes.
She’s nothing like Laura Lee. So, uh. I guess I always knew that her little celibacy act was, well…
an act,” Van proclaims, cracking an eye shut. She then taps at her chin and tilts her head back and
forth, feigning deep thought. “Plus, let’s be real. She’s not exactly… subtle.”

“What?” Shauna stutters, screwing her face up, even more. She scoffs, finding herself incredibly
irritated by the knowing look on Van’s face. Like, Jackie’s true feelings have never been all that
obvious, until recently. If they were, Shauna would have definitely put two and two together, way
sooner. So, yeah. Van is absolutely full of shit, because Jackie never dropped obvious hints in
Shauna’s direction. “Jackie has always been subtle! I was fully convinced that she was ready to
marry Jeff, until she jumped me in Lottie’s bathroom! She never dropped any—”

“Hints? Oh my fucking God. Where the fuck have you been, for the past like… I don’t know. Five
years?” Van teases, gawking a little. She clicks her tongue and sucks in a deep breath, before
commencing her long-winded ramble. “She has always been so touchy-feely with you. Sneaking
her hands under your jersey at practice? Massaging your fucking calf, that one time you got a little
Charlie Horse, while we were playing Red Bank Catholic? Plus, I can’t even tell you how many
times I have watched Jackie weasel her way into your fucking lap,” Van trails off, rolling her eyes
in mock reprimand. She then tosses her hands up into the air, feigning exasperation. “And, like, at
parties… holy shit. She would crawl on you like a fucking jungle gym. I swear… it always looked
like she was about a single shot of Vodka away from macking you. In front of literally everyone.
Or, shit. There was also this one time—”

“Ok! Ok!” Shauna proclaims, rubbing at her temples a bit. Yet again, Shauna has been forced to
recognize that she is, quite honestly, the biggest idiot in the entire world. And, for whatever reason,
hearing about her own cluelessness is really starting to piss her off. Like, her own fucking stupidity
set the progression of their relationship back, about a total of three fucking years. Fuck. “I get it.
I’m a fucking idiot, alright. So can you just—”

“Nope. Sorry, Shipman. I legitimately need to gloat, because I’ve been theorizing about this shit
for years. Tai literally thought I was insane,” Van proclaims, chuckling a bit. There’s a triumphant
grin playing at the corners of her lips, which just makes Shauna sigh. “She has literally said,
verbatim, that Jackie is the ‘quintessential heterosexual.’ And, like… really? With all of those
sweater vests? With all of those little doe-eyed looks that she gives you? I mean, c’mon. My gaydar
has been pinging at the fucking sight of her… for years. The fact that you guys are together is
like… a personal victory.”

Shauna pinches the bridge of her nose, then scrunches her eyes closed. “Ok, yeah. Fine. You’re
right. You’ve been right, this whole time. Jackie’s uh, gay. Or— uh, not fully straight. She’s
something. But, uh… I don’t— I don’t exactly know what she is, ok?” Shauna stammers, with a
faltering voice. Van wheezes out a chuckle, which drives Shauna’s eyes to flash right back open.
“So, um. Can you please not tell anyone? About us? Everything’s so new. And we’ve been taking
things so slowly. Plus, Jackie’s already kind of acting weird all of a sudden and I—”

“Shauna… slow down. Take a deep breath… I am begging you,” Van commands, examining
Shauna’s reddening face. And, well. Shauna follows through on her order, by legitimately gasping
for air. Of course, the idea of upsetting Jackie, has managed to work her into yet another frenzy.
Typical. “Thank you,” Van cheerily proclaims, as soon as Shauna finally manages to catch her
breath. “Your girlfriend would deck me in the face if I brought you back into that cabin with a
scratch, let alone fully unconscious. And—” Van pauses, right as Shauna’s mouth cracks slightly
open. She thrusts a hand out to silence her, then barrels on, as soon as Shauna’s mouth snaps shut.
“Don’t worry. I’m not gonna tell anyone. Like, who am I gonna tell? Tai?” Van playfully scoffs,
clicking her tongue. “She already knows about you guys. Which… fuck. I’m going to kick her ass
for not telling me. This is prime information!” Van declares, dramatically rolling her eyes. Shauna
just weakly side-eyes her, in a desperate attempt to drop this topic. “Don’t look at me like that,”
Van immediately snaps, as soon as she registers the incredulous look on Shauna’s face. “I’ve been
betting on this since freshman fucking year. And, fuck. The fact that Tai didn’t tell me about you
and Jackie… when she’s known for weeks?” Van pauses, melodramatically sighing and frowning a
bit. “I mean, that fucking hurts. She might as well have just cheated on me instead.”

A stale silence erupts between them, leaving Shauna to awkwardly stare at Van. She toes at a
clump of dirt and wrings her hands together, searching for something to say. Like, honestly, how
the fuck is she supposed to respond to that comment?

But, thankfully, Van saves her awkward ass.

In seconds, a little giggle bubbles in the back of Van’s throat, before escaping right out of her fake
frown. It cuts through the brief beat of tension like a knife, compelling Shauna to let out a weak
laugh of her own. And, well. Although it sounds entirely forced, Van can’t seem to tell the
difference. She just laughs harder and shuffles closer to Shauna, nonchalantly looping their arms
together.

“Alright. I think it’s time for me to return you to Jackie…” Van murmurs, slowly steering Shauna
towards the path back to the cabin. Shauna lackadaisically nods, suddenly overcome with
exhaustion. Like, so much bullshit drama has gone on today, compelling Shauna to wonder if she’s
been miraculously teleported into some alternate universe’s rendition of Wiskayok High. “And I
have to throw Tai in the girlfriend penalty box, anyways.”

Shauna huffs out a small laugh in response to that comment, even as she continues walking in
stride with Van. But, for some reason, that statement sits with her. It spurs this gigantic wave of
frost to shoot right up her spine, compelling her to shiver.

Maybe Jackie has forcibly shoved Shauna into the girlfriend penalty box, without Shauna even
realizing it. Like, that would definitely account for Jackie’s emotional detachment, as well as her
sudden desire to avoid Shauna like the plague.

But, well. Shauna honestly doesn’t know what rules she could have broken, to end up getting
penalized like this.

“I talked to Van. She’s not gonna tell anyone. Plus, Tai already knows… so. We’re totally in the
clear.”

Jackie is sitting on one of the sunken-in couch cushions, with a small can, clasped between her
little hands. It’s filled to the brim with drinking water, which Jackie is numbly peering down at.
Her eyes are blank and her face is flat, almost like her soul has been sucked right out of her body.

Shauna’s heart tugs, prompting her to gently squeeze Jackie’s knee cap. She expects some sort of a
reaction— a smile, some eye contact, a sigh, literally anything— but Jackie doesn’t budge. So,
Shauna gradually shifts closer to Jackie, causing the raggedy couch cushions to inelegantly sag.
Jackie’s ass automatically sinks down, farther into the cushion. It causes a few water droplets to
spill over the rim of Jackie’s can, sending them dribbling down Jackie’s hands.

But, well. Jackie just keeps her head tilted downward, eyes still glued to her make-shift water cup.
She looks catatonic all over again, so Shauna nudges her with a shoulder.

Nothing.

She tries again.

Nothing.

Shauna sighs, then apprehensively peers around the room. Once she confirms that the coast is
clear, Shauna quickly leans her lips into Jackie’s ear. “I’m sorry that she walked in on us, ok?
But… it’s— it’s not my fault. It’s no one’s fault…” Shauna trails off, leaning back a bit. She
examines Jackie’s face, finding it absolutely frozen. There are no signs of emotion, or life, or…
anything. So, Shauna swallows down this anxious knot in her throat, before barreling onward.
“And, c’mon. It’s Van. She’s not gonna judge you, or tell—”

“I don’t give a fuck anymore!” Jackie legitimately snaps, practically shooting to her feet. She then
smacks the rusty can in her hands, right down onto the coffee table. Water rushes out of it like a
broken dam, puddling onto the wooden floor and the grainy coffee table. Shauna ignores the minor
flood, opting to gaze up at Jackie in shock. Her fists are clenched at her sides, while her fiery eyes
flit to Shauna’s pale face. “Nothing is ever your—” Jackie passionately starts, before abruptly
pausing. She sucks in a reedy breath, then apparently decides to recalibrate. “Y’know what?
Nevermind. I’m going to bed! Have fun dicking around down here!”

Shauna indignantly sputters, scouring her defective brain for a string of coherent words, to toss in
Jackie’s general direction. But, of course, Shauna is unable to locate any. It’s like she’s been
rendered both mentally and physically unable to speak, leaving her to stutter out desperate whines.

And, well. Unfortunately for Shauna, Jackie doesn’t seem to find those feeble noises very…
persuasive.
 She literally storms into the pantry without sparing Shauna another glance, then immediately huffs
her way up the rungs of the ladder.

Shauna remains on the shabby couch, suddenly wishing that she could just sink right through its
mottled fabric. She just wants it to swallow her whole, honestly. Like, all Shauna wants to do is
shrivel up and disappear, after all of the shit that’s gone on today.

But, unfortunately, Shauna fucking Shipman isn’t afforded the luxury of escaping all of her
problems.

“Get the fuck out of here Travis! You made your goddamn choice! We’re done!” Natalie suddenly
screams, as if on cue. Her deep voice echoes off of the cabin walls, bouncing all around Shauna,
like a loose soccer ball. “I mean it!”

Shauna presses a clenched fist to her forehead, bashing it against her thick skull. She then squeezes
her eyes firmly shut, before beginning to silently pray for this cursed day to finally end.

But, well. Honestly, all Shauna really wants more than anything, is for Jackie to return to normal.

So, she tosses an extra prayer up towards Laura Lee’s favorite guy, hoping that she’ll eventually
receive some sort of response. Like, maybe by tomorrow, Jackie will already be back to her usual,
cheery self.

Probably not, though.

Chapter End Notes

coming up: necklace exchange, jackie outs shaunas pregnancy, and laura lee um... has
her big plane moment. oh... and other bad things for shauna
 flight of the bumblebee
Chapter Summary

“No more of this,” Jackie commands, squeezing Shauna’s knee. Shauna wheezes out
this disoriented little squeaky noise, while Jackie leans forward. She plucks Shauna’s
journal right out of her lap, before unceremoniously heaving it towards the opposite
side of the attic. Shauna’s eyes widen and her gaze swiftly alternates between Jackie’s
frowning face and the leather book, right before it slams against the wall with this
resoundingly loud thump. “It’s stupid.”

Shauna scoffs, shaking her head in bitter offense. “Oh, wow. Thanks, Jax!” Shauna
sardonically spits, glaring at Jackie’s pink-tinted cheeks. But, well. Jackie seems
entirely unbothered by Shauna’s annoyance, if the way her lips curl into this lazy
smile, is of any indication. “Way to shit on something that I actually like doing, after
ignoring me for the past—”

Or: Literally everything bad happens to Shauna.

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

September 25th, 1996

“Ugh! These batteries,” Jackie abruptly declares, from her seat on a neighboring tree stump. A pair
of black headphones cover her ears, while she aimlessly fumbles with the dying Walkman. She
keeps popping half-emptied batteries in and out of it, sighing all melodramatically, whenever one
doesn’t magically kick-start the musical device. “Fucking cocksucker!”

Shauna observes Jackie carefully, almost like she’s some brand-new specimen set to be examined,
in a high-tech facility. She has been acting like this— all cold, detached, and jaded— for the past
few weeks, much to Shauna’s vehement horror and confusion. Like, Jackie keeps blowing up at
Shauna for the most random and trivial things, entirely unprovoked. She has been giving Shauna
the coldest shoulder imaginable, actively dodging all of Shauna’s romantic gestures and advances.
Jackie has also been spending an obscene amount of time with Nat, leaving Shauna’s side to traipse
through the woods with the aforementioned, bleach-blonde girl.

And, well. Jackie has been acting so downright indifferent towards legitimately anything and
everything, that the rest of the Yellowjackets have also begun to clock her recent behavioral
changes. Lately, Jackie has been openly bitching and complaining about her pre-assigned chores,
before legitimately refusing to do them all together. So, in order to appease the rest of the team and
keep Jackie’s anger at bay, Shauna just wordlessly and dutifully completes the tasks for her.

Her fairly unsubtle strategy had worked pretty well for a while, effectively preventing anyone and
everyone from complaining about Jackie and her new-found apathy toward pitching in. But, of
course, Shauna should know— from like, everything that’s ever happened in her life— that good
things don’t last forever.

Case in point: Mari suddenly stumbles out of the forest and back towards the dwindling campfire,
wielding two overflowing water buckets. She shoots a sneaky death glare in Jackie’s direction,
which goes completely unnoticed by the lighter-haired girl, due in part to her sudden fascination
with fixing the fucking Walkman. And, right before Shauna can say something snappy or
condescending to disarm Mari, Akilah is suddenly leering over at Jackie. She is squatting
legitimately right in front of the fire pit, shoving some fresh firewood right into the small blaze.
And, well. Yet again, Jackie fails to recognize a pair of heated eyes on her, completely neglecting
the deep scowl that Akilah is currently firing in her direction.

It hits Shauna then, like a punch to the gut. Everyone is, in fact, annoyed with Jackie and her
sudden impassiveness. They have probably been whispering about Jackie and complaining about
Jackie for the past few weeks, just out of Shauna’s fucking earshot.

And, yeah. Shauna then basically bounds off of the tree log she has been sitting on, while somehow
ignoring the way her stomach has begun to twist into knots. She rushes straight towards Jackie,
who is still wasting all of her time inspecting the stupid Walkman. Her head is hanging low and her
eyes are trained on the little device in her hands, which effectively prevents her from detecting
Shauna’s presence.

So, Shauna exasperatedly sighs and yanks the black headphones off of Jackie’s head, in order to
finally get her attention. And, of course, Jackie immediately responds by dramatically whipping her
head upwards. Her eyes instantly harden and her face quickly crinkles at the sight of Shauna,
highlighting how absolutely affronted Jackie suddenly is. “Come on,” Shauna buzzes, extending a
hand toward Jackie. She just scoffs and blankly stares at it, robotically tilting her head back and
forth. Shauna glares back at her, agitation rushing through her veins. “Fuck this… let’s go. You’re
coming with me.”

Jackie’s forehead scrunches up and her lips part open slightly, right as Shauna unceremoniously
snatches her hand. “What the hell is your fucking problem?” Jackie suddenly spits, prompting
Shauna to tighten her hold on her hand. She then tugs Jackie to her feet, earning an exasperated huff
and an agitated eye roll. “Ow!” Jackie groans, before attempting to wrestle her way out of Shauna’s
grip. She jostles her arm back and forth like a petulant child, which actually ends up working.

She wrings her dainty hand out of Shauna’s and instantly yanks it back to her own side, pursing her
lips like she’s just been burned. “Follow me, now. I’m serious, Jax,” Shauna mutters, after abruptly
whirling around. Jackie cocks her chin upwards and clenches her jaw, clearly irritated with the
command. But, well. Much to Shauna’s surprise, Jackie actually listens to her.

Jackie crosses her arms over her chest and trails after Shauna, following her right to the blood-
covered, butcher’s table. Her gaze instantly lands on the slab of fresh deer meat slapped onto its
surface, which elicits a gag and a downright disgusted nose crinkle from Jackie. “Oh, so you
wanted me to see the poor little deer that you’re chopping up?” Jackie sassily states, pinching the
bridge of her nose. Shauna rolls her eyes in annoyance, before pulling her butcher’s knife out of the
back pocket of her jeans. “How romantic! You really know how to treat a girl, Ship—”

“Here,” Shauna declares, rudely cutting Jackie right off. She clumsily shoves the knife’s handle in
Jackie’s direction, who makes absolutely zero effort to seize the blood-stained object. All Jackie
does is dazedly glance between the bloodied blade and Shauna’s face, visibly offended and
downright stupefied. So, Shauna sighs in frustration, before tipping her head towards the meat and
cracking her mouth right back open. “Try it. It’s easy.”

Jackie guffaws and waves her hands in front of her face, before taking an awkward step backward.
“Hard pass. That’s totally gnarly!” Jackie jibes, gesturing a hand at the table. Shauna shoves the
rubber handle right into Jackie’s sternum, earning a shocked gasp and a wide-eyed glare from
Jackie. “Seriously, Shauna? If this is what you consider a good date idea nowadays, I think you
should really reconsider—”

“Please, Jax. Can you just— just fucking try it? For me,” Shauna legitimately pleads, before
deliberately puckering her lips up into a pout. She then flutters her eyelashes and peers down at
Jackie with these big and glassy, puppy dog eyes. And, thankfully, Jackie immediately takes the
bait. She scoffs at Shauna and rolls her eyes, but she does snappily pluck the knife right out of
Shauna’s grasp. “Thank you, bab—”

“Whatever,” Jackie firmly states, jutting the knife’s blade right into the bloody deer carcass. She
flicks her free hand upwards and looks away from the deer meat in revulsion, blindly pushing
down on the knife’s blade. Jackie legitimately refuses to touch the pink flesh, allowing it to slip
and slide across the table’s surface. “Why the fuck do you need me to do this, anyways? Like, are
the teenage pregnancy hormones finally kicking in?” Jackie taunts, prompting Shauna’s stomach to
lurch. She’s been saying such off-handed bullshit lately, but that brutal comment somehow takes
the bitchy cake.

But, well. Shauna forcibly swallows down all of her condescending comebacks, essentially
allowing her wounded pride to sustain another critical hit. “You have to push it harder,” Shauna
eventually says, peering between the knife’s blade and Jackie’s rapidly paling face. And, of course,
Jackie doesn’t actually listen to her. She weakly jostles the knife up and down, so Shauna
legitimately hip-checks her out of the way. The sudden movement causes Jackie to stumble to the
side, which forces her to loosen her hold on the knife’s handle. But, unsurprisingly, Jackie doesn’t
seem all that upset about this new development. “You have to push it till it pops,” Shauna declares,
grabbing hold of the knife’s rubber handle. She then places her other hand on top of the slab,
pinning it in place.

And then, much to Jackie’s horror and disgust, Shauna presses the blade down harder. The added
pressure spurs a piece of bone to pop right out of its socket, leaving it to plainly protrude out of the
grisly slab of mottled flesh. “Oh, gross!” Jackie bemoans, wrenching her entire body around. She
rubs at her eyes and gags, while Shauna rinses her bloodied hands in a nearby water bucket. “Ew.
God. That was honestly the most unattractive thing I have ever seen.”

“It's not that hard or gross, Jackie. If we don’t do this, we don’t get to eat…” Shauna grumbles,
blinking right at the scowl now engraved into Jackie’s face. And, well. The exasperated look on
Jackie’s face manages to make Shauna even angrier, mainly because Shauna has literally been
doing all of her chores and dutifully covering for her fucking ass. “And, honestly? It's like shucking
an oyster.”

“Yeah… no. I'm totally not doing that serial killer shit, ever again…” Jackie murmurs, breaking
off into a sardonic chuckle. She then crosses her arms back over her chest and shakes her head at
Shauna, which just makes the darker-haired girl’s blood boil. Like, of course, Jackie decides to
insult Shauna, instead of thanking her for her help.

So, unsurprisingly, Shauna immediately bursts like a hyperactive volcano. “Fuck, Jax. I really
don’t know how to help you, then. But you can't keep not pitching in!” Shauna proclaims,
regaining Jackie’s undivided attention. It’s clear— from like, the glower engraved onto her face—
that Shauna has just inadvertently wounded Jackie’s pride, for probably the one-millionth time
ever. So, Shauna immediately softens, scraping the sharp edges off of all of her words. “People are
noticing, Jackie…” Shauna trails off, with a sigh. Jackie then allows her eyes to dart over toward
Mari and Akilah, even as Shauna nervously rambles onward. “And, um. You like, refuse to talk to
me… Jax. So, even though I want to help you, I don’t know what—”
“My apologies for not being able to get off on this boring, back-to-the-land bullshit! Like, I’m
sorry that I suck at this stuff. I’m sorry that I’m just the hunting alternate, and that I can’t just—
just go out there and shoot cute little deer for fun!” Jackie angrily proclaims, jerking her hand
towards the woods. Shauna gnaws anxiously at her lip, scouring her brain for some reassuring
sentiments. “So, yeah. Sorry that I don’t fucking belong here, Shauna. And, I— I…” Jackie trails
off, her voice cracking a bit. Shauna’s own heart immediately splinters and fractures, at the mere
sound of her shaky voice. “I honestly don't know how much longer I can keep doing this.”

It dawns on Shauna then, almost like an epiphany. The perfect way to reassure and comfort Jackie,
has suddenly floated right into her brain. “Remember when Kiffy Schumacher broke her arm right
before we were supposed to go to WhipSplash River?" Shauna starts, instinctively grinning a bit at
the memory. Jackie slowly nods her head and eyes Shauna suspiciously, clearly curious to see
where she is going with this one. “And you told her that if she shared her Percocet, we'd all crash
bingo at the Elks Lodge instead?”

“Um… duh. Obviously, I remember us popping Percs and listening to old people complain. It’s
like… a core memory,” Jackie mutters, picking at a hangnail. She then abruptly pauses, glancing
back up at Shauna. “Wait a minute. Is this— is this a pep talk?" Jackie asks, biting harshly at her
lip. She is clearly trying so hard to suppress a grin, which just makes Shauna shyly scratch her neck
and beam like a fucking idiot. Like, Shauna has not seen Jackie smile or laugh in weeks, so this is
honestly such a dazzling sight. “Oh. Wowza, Shipman…” Jackie murmurs, before allowing a smile
to finally break onto her lips. She then begins to lightly giggle, shaking her head at Shauna in
astonishment. “Wow, that is so not your style.”

“Tell me about it,” Shauna admits, playfully rolling her eyes a bit. She then leans in closer,
bumping her shoulder up against Jackie’s. And, for the first time in a while, Jackie doesn’t
automatically flinch away from Shauna’s touch. “Cheering people up is your thing. I'm better at
—”

“Making people feel judged?” Jackie suddenly proclaims, placing her hands on her hips. Shauna’s
smile immediately falters, leaving her to frown at Jackie’s rapidly brightening face. “Ooh…”
Jackie trails off, lifting a finger into the air. She points it right at Shauna and squints an eye shut,
evidently unmoved by the uncomfortable look now plastered onto Shauna’s face. “Cutting up dead
things?”

“Wow… thanks,” Shauna stoically mumbles, blinking a bit. She turns away from Jackie,
awkwardly glancing down at the water bucket.

“I'm joking. Jesus Christ,” Jackie admonishes, prompting Shauna to lift her head up. She meets
Jackie’s gaze, watching as she breezily shrugs her shoulders up. “Besides…” Jackie trails off,
bobbing her head back and forth. “You're kind of turning into a badass out here.”

Shauna shrugs her shoulders up, sheepishly smiling at the weird compliment. “You taught me how
to be like this,” Shauna earnestly admits, spurring Jackie’s eyebrows to furrow in confusion. Jackie
then tilts her head, wordlessly indicating that she wants Shauna to continue. “I mean, you make
people feel like things are gonna be okay just by showing up and... being your dumb, hot, awesome
self,” Shauna sincerely states, urging Jackie to smile all over again. She nibbles at her lip and
instantly brightens, clearly flattered by Shauna’s words. “At least you— you always did that for
me.”

“Thanks,” Jackie quietly murmurs, suddenly shy. She studies Shauna intently, before parting her
lips a fraction. Shauna thinks she might say something, but Jackie then abruptly snaps her mouth
shut. But, well. Jackie swallows thickly and then reopens her mouth, snuffing out Shauna’s
suspicions in an instant. “I'm… uh…” Jackie starts, shaking her head a bit. She huffs out a
flustered laugh, running a hand through her hair. “I’m still not putting a knife through a fսcking
deer knee.”

“Fine,” Shauna giggles out, grinning widely. Jackie’s lips twitch slightly, before she crosses her
arms back over her chest. “But still, we... we need you, Jackie…” Shauna trails off, sucking in a
deep breath. She then tilts her head to the side and examines Jackie closely, before amping up the
conviction. “I need you,” Shauna firmly declares, before reaching behind her neck. She then begins
to fumble with the little golden clasp on Jackie’s necklace, while Jackie watches her with glassy
eyes. “Here,” Shauna shakily states, after finally undoing the clasp. She slips the golden chain right
off of her neck and gestures for Jackie to inch closer, which she actually does. And then, Shauna
quickly loops the golden chain around Jackie’s neck, before fastening it up for her. “I mean…”
Shauna starts, pulling back a bit. She lightly squeezes Jackie’s shoulders and offers her a loving
smile, while Jackie nibbles at her lip. “You're basically the best. Remember?”

Jackie huffs out a flustered laugh, tilting her head like a puppy. “Yeah,” Jackie eventually
concedes, with a faint smile. The corners of Shauna’s lips instinctively curve up higher at the sight,
inadvertently causing her cheeks to ache. But, well. Shauna disregards the dull pain, in favor of
focusing all of her attention on Jackie’s blushing face.

Shauna quickly pulls her into a tight hug, before instinctively resting her head on one of Jackie’s
shoulders. And, for the first time in what feels like forever, Jackie doesn’t recoil or attempt to
escape Shauna’s embrace. She instantly wraps her bony arms loosely, around Shauna’s abdomen.

A contented huff flies out of Shauna’s lips, while she lightly rakes her nails against Jackie’s
shoulder. The soothing little scratches apparently urge Jackie to tighten her grip on Shauna’s frame,
causing her to hold Shauna closer.

For the first time in weeks, Shauna has been blessed with the sound of Jackie’s laughter, the feeling
of Jackie’s touch, and a view of her bright smile. And, honestly, just seeing Jackie’s face light up is
enough to make Shauna’s heart flutter like a butterfly.

But, well. There are still so many unanswered questions lingering at the forefront of Shauna’s
mind, which just urges her stomach to twist into knots. Like, Shauna still doesn’t understand why
Jackie has been so distant and stand-offish, for the past few weeks. She has tried to come up with
justifications for Jackie’s behavior, but legitimately none of them have made any sense. So, instead
of just enjoying the feeling of having Jackie this close again, Shauna concentrates on the utmost
sense of dread that is currently worming its way through the pit of her stomach.

And, yeah. Shauna really wishes that this hug could feel a bit better and a little more reassuring,
than it actually does.

After about an hour of popping bones out of sockets and inadvertently grossing Jackie out, Shauna
eventually finishes preparing the raw deer meat for cooking. She then immediately begins to rinse
off her bloody hands, while surveying the campfire for Mari and Akilah. And, well. Much to
Shauna’s annoyance, the Yellowjackets’ defacto cooks, are suddenly nowhere to be found.

So, Shauna sighs and grabs Jackie’s hand, before forcibly steering her toward the cabin. She
figures that Mari and Akilah are probably in there, bitching and gossiping, about something or
someone. And, honestly, Shauna really isn’t in the mood to just… sit back and let the group starve.

But, well. As soon as Shauna pops open that rickety cabin door and creeps her way through it, she
instantly begins to wish that she had just stayed outside.
Laura Lee is standing on the coffee table in the living room, flailing her arms around like one of
those inflatable tube men. The rest of the Yellowjackets are haphazardly strewn across the tiny
room, but legitimately all of their eyes are enlarged and fixated on Laura fucking Lee. She literally
looks like she’s running some kind of shitty church choir, with the way everyone is currently
gazing up at her, in silent reverence. But, well. Jackie legitimately scoffs upon entering the fucking
living room, which apparently urges Laura Lee to slice through the silence.

“Trust me guys, I can find us help. I've been studying the flight manual for weeks, and I checked
the gas tank. It's full!" Laura Lee blabs, with a smile on her face. And, well. As soon as those
words spew out of Laura Lee’s mouth, Shauna’s stomach instantly sinks. Apparently, Laura Lee
suddenly believes that she is the reincarnation of Amelia Earhart, which would automatically
qualify her to blindly fly a rusty-ass plane. “I used to watch my grandpa fly. He even let me steer a
few times…” Laura Lee trails off, while her bright eyes bounce across the room. Shauna’s gaze
flickers between Jackie’s frown and Laura Lee’s smile, right as Tai begins to dramatically shake
her head. “Look, Tai. I know that I can do this. And— and just look at Van,” Laura Lee proclaims,
gesturing towards Van. And, of course, Van instinctively drops her head onto the arm of the couch
with a heavy sigh. “If those makeshift stitches get infected, it’s not gonna be good. You can't deny
that she needs serious medical attention! I mean, come—”

“She's not the only one,” Jackie suddenly blurts out, before shooting a subtle smirk in Shauna’s
direction. Shauna’s heart slams against her chest, while her eyes begin to legitimately burn at the
mere sight of Jackie’s face. So, Shauna starts vehemently shaking her head at Jackie, in a desperate
attempt to disarm her. But, of course, Jackie just squeezes her hand and barrels onward. “Shauna,
tell them. As your best friend in the entire world, I really think that you should!” Jackie cloyingly
proclaims, tilting her head a bit. Tai suddenly swivels around on the couch, just so that she can
glance between Jackie and Shauna, all apprehensively.

“I— I really don't—” Shauna stammers, before allowing her gaze to bounce around the living
room. And, well. Her throat constricts and she immediately begins to gasp for air, as soon as she
realizes that legitimately everyone is now staring right at her. Fuck. “Jax. Can you please just drop
—”

“Tell them,” Jackie murmurs, with a voice all feathery soft. Shauna just gapes at her in abhorrent
horror, prompting her mouth to droop open just a fraction. And then, Shauna instinctively drops
Jackie’s hand and takes a step backward, briefly escaping Jackie’s suffocating presence. “Shauna. I
just want what’s best for you. And, c’mon. It’s time to tell them the truth. They all really deserve
it.”

The face that Jackie makes— a lethal mix of smugness, slyness, and faux-kindness— somehow
riles Shauna’s anger up, even more. But, of course, Mari prevents Shauna from actually having the
opportunity to dwell on Jackie’s painfully vile demeanor.

“What is it?” Mari asks, goggling between Jackie and Shauna. And, well. Shauna just shrugs her
shoulders in response, which apparently pisses Jackie off. Like, Jackie literally scoffs and swivels
around, glaring at Shauna all expectantly. “C’mon, Shauna. I’m sure it isn’t that bad.”

Shauna clenches her fists at her sides, digging her sharpened nails right into the soft skin of her
palms. She catches Natalie’s gaze for just a split second, which urges her to basically ask the exact
same fucking question. “Yeah… tell us what?” Natalie cautiously adds, quirking up an eyebrow.
Natalie then peeks over at Jackie, shooting a dubious look in her direction.

The broken skin along the inside of Shauna’s palms stings and screams, but the pain is literally the
only thing that tethers her to the ground. She concentrates on it as she peers around the living room,
where she is met with an array of prying eyes. Shauna can also somehow hear an assortment of
disgruntled whispers circling around her, even with the way her own blood is now thundering and
thumping within her ears. She crosses her arms over her chest and sucks in a painfully sharp breath,
before reluctantly parting her lips just a smidge.

“I’m— I’m pregnant,” Shauna numbly states, which drives the entire room to fall eerily silent. It
honestly feels like an atomic bomb has just been dropped, destroying everything and everyone in its
path. Like, for the first time ever, Mari has been rendered completely speechless. She is sitting in
the corner of the living room, with her pupils blown and her mouth hanging open. Even Laura Lee
looks visibly taken aback by the admission, if the way she purses her lips and raises her eyebrows
at Shauna, is of any indication. “I— I—”

“You were having sеx?” Akilah suddenly blurts out, eyes wide with shock. Shauna flinches at the
statement and sucks in a deep breath, before hesitantly nodding her head. She feels her cheeks
beginning to burn and her stomach beginning to swirl, so she instinctively drops her head in defeat.
“No way! How far along are you?”

Shauna breathes faster, allowing her arms to drop to the sides of her body. She opens her hands and
examines them closely, finding a small trail of blood, smeared across her palms. “Wait…” Mari
starts, effectively cutting Shauna right out of her daze. She whips her head up and meets Mari’s
sharpened eyes, squeezing her bloody palms into tiny fists. “Did you get knocked up... here?”

But, well. Before Shauna can even think to open her quivering mouth, Jackie is already speaking
for her. “Guys!” Jackie proclaims, with a wistful huff. She glances over at Shauna momentarily,
plastering on the fakest smile Shauna has ever seen, before allowing her gaze to dart across the
living room. “It really doesn't matter when it happened or who it was with. Okay?” Jackie lightly
admonishes, employing this sickly-sweet voice. Shauna’s face automatically contorts into a
shocked scowl, due in part to how absolutely livid she currently feels. Like, honestly, Shauna
cannot believe that Jackie would forcibly shove her into such an uncomfortable situation. “All that
matters… is that we get them both help!”

Shauna tilts her chin up and opens her mouth a fraction, fully prepared to finally let her red-hot fury
explode, all over Jackie. But, in an odd twist of fate, Misty fucking Quigley stops her… dead in her
tracks.

She pushes her glasses farther up the bridge of her nose and scrambles off of the wooden floor,
then scampers over toward Jackie and Shauna. And, before Shauna can even fucking react, Misty’s
grubby little hands are suddenly right on top of her baby bump. Misty then goggles up at Shauna
like she is absolutely starstruck, gazing between Shauna’s stomach and the scowl on Shauna’s
face, with blown-up pupils and a downright repulsive grin.

Shauna suddenly feels the intense urge to punt Misty right out of the cracked, living room window,
but she settles for slapping Misty’s grimy little hands away. “Misty, not right now!” Shauna snaps,
driving the frizzy-haired girl to stumble back a bit. She clenches her hands at her sides, gawking up
at Shauna with glassy eyes. And, of course, Misty then plasters on this little pout. “Cut the crap,
Misty! I’m not in the mood to—”

“All right! Everyone, enough!” Coach Scott suddenly shouts, stealing all of the attention away
from Shauna. And, well. Shauna is so grateful to finally be freed from the burning rays of the
spotlight, that she puffs out this resoundingly loud sigh of relief. “Laura Lee, you can't do this. I—
it's not even close to safe!”

“There is no ‘safe’ anymore, Coach Scott. It's going to be winter soon. If I don't do this, we're—”
Laura Lee pauses, sucking in a deep breath. She rakes her eyes around the small living room,
tentatively taking in the assortment of worried looks, before re-opening her mouth to speak. “We're
all gonna fսcking starve.”

“All right, well…” Coach Scott trails off, readjusting his makeshift crutch. He shakes his head
back and forth, squinting right at Laura Lee. “I’m still the only adult here. So… no. My final
answer is no,” Coach Scott firmly states, scoffing a bit. And, well. Laura Lee’s innocent little face
instantly hardens, in a way that Shauna has never seen before. She clenches her jaw and fists her
hands at her sides, glaring right at Coach Scott’s bewildered face. “I'm not gonna let you do it.”

A wave of uncomfortable silence creeps into the air, right as Laura Lee takes a triumphant step
forward. She crosses her arms over her chest, before leveling Coach Scott with a scowl. “What are
you gonna do to stop me, Coach?” Laura Lee snarls, tilting her head a bit.

Coach Scott immediately sputters out an incredulous chuckle and nervously glances around the
room, clearly searching for some backup. But, well. Legitimately everyone— including Shauna
herself— mirrors Laura Lee’s countenance, wordlessly challenging Coach Scott’s supervision.

Suddenly, Shauna feels a trail of blood, trickling down her wrist. She tears her eyes away from
Coach Scott and turns her palm over, inspecting the blood-smeared skin. There is currently a
crescent-shaped incision, engraved right into her mottled flesh. It’s a fairly deep cut too, on
account of Shauna’s jagged and uncut fingernails.

But, well. Shauna has apparently become so fucking numb to pain and discomfort, that she can
hardly even feel the cut beginning to burn and sting, all over again.

“Did you really have to tell everyone?”

Shauna is currently bashing an axe against a tiny tree sapling, in order to help clear some of the
brush out of the plane’s makeshift runway. And, surprisingly enough, Jackie is also doing her part
to help. She is frantically clawing away at the messy clump of green and brown vines, that is still
tangled around one of the plane’s rusty wheels.

But, well. Jackie suddenly freezes, before swiftly spinning around. Her lips robotically curl up into
this sickening smile, as soon as her soft eyes land on Shauna. “Oh my God!” Jackie exclaims, with
an obnoxious sigh. She then dramatically thrusts her palm onto her chest, desperately clutching at
her own heart. “I mean, how could I not?” Jackie retorts, feigning offense and shock. She shakes
her head a little bit, eyeing Shauna carefully. “Shauna, we have the chance to get you and the baby
out of here. That's all that matters. It's—” Jackie abruptly cuts herself off, studying Shauna’s face.
Shauna just scowls at her, allowing her rage to consume all of her thoughts and feelings. “It's not
really the time to be keeping secrets!”

Shauna’s vision blurs a bit at the edges, correlating with the rise of her burgeoning anger. She then
swings the blade of the ax right through the splintering bark of the sapling, finally snapping it right
in half. Jackie watches her with a shit-eating grin, which legitimately widens, right as Shauna
angrily tosses the sapling to the side and storms away.

And, well. After around two hours of detangling vines and cutting down little shrubs, the
Yellowjackets manage to clear a substantial amount of room for the plane to take off.

An awkward silence then drifts through the crisp air, right as the Yellowjackets begin to solemnly
line up. Shauna awkwardly shuffles behind Akilah in their little semi-circle, before instinctively
glancing over at the cursed-ass airplane. Her stomach bottoms out and bile shoots up her esophagus
at the mere sight of it, primarily because she knows that Jackie was nearly beheaded by its rusty-ass
propellers. But, well. Much to Shauna’s surprise, Jackie seems completely unbothered and
unaffected, by that downright grueling fact. She automatically pushes her way towards the front of
the goodbye train, with a dimply, close-mouthed smile.

On the opposite side of the clearing, Laura Lee bends down, snatching her teddy bear off of the
ground. She then slings her backpack over her shoulder, before cautiously approaching the group.

“Be safe, okay?” Jackie murmurs, instantaneously tugging Laura Lee into a hug. Laura Lee
mumbles something into Jackie's ear, while glancing over at the weathered plane. She then pulls
back a bit, offering Jackie a barely-there smile. “I know. Don't worry. And, um. You've got this!”
Jackie proclaims, unwinding her arms from Laura Lee’s frame. Laura Lee just jerks her head up
and down, before cautiously striding over toward Shauna.

Tears immediately begin to prick at the corners of Shauna’s eyelids, as soon as Laura Lee wraps
her up in her arms. Her stomach flips and her heart aches, goading her into dropping her heavy
head onto Laura Lee’s shoulder. “I know that you’re scared, but everything is going to be ok. This
baby is going to be ok. I can feel it,” Laura Lee whispers, right into Shauna’s ear.

And, well. Even though they’ve never really been all that close, Shauna has always appreciated
Laura Lee’s genuineness. Like, Laura Lee legitimately has the purest soul ever, unlike Shauna’s
deceitful ass. Laura Lee is super trustworthy, she’s incredibly kind, she’s authentically honest…
and she’s willing to die for Shauna and her fucking bastard child.

“You don’t have to do this,” Shauna instinctively mutters, right into the fabric of Laura Lee’s
sweater. Laura Lee automatically shakes her head and begins to comb through the ends of
Shauna’s hair, prompting Shauna to clutch her tighter. “I— I don’t want you to die. It isn’t— it
isn’t fair for you to die because of my mistakes. And— and—”

Laura Lee pulls back, presenting Shauna with a watery smile. She then squeezes Shauna’s
shoulders, before sucking in a shaky breath. “Shauna. This is my moral duty. I have to do this. It’s
my calling,” Laura Lee murmurs, squeezing an eye shut. Shauna bites down on her lip, stifling the
sob that is currently rattling around in the back of her throat. Like, fuck. A part of Shauna really
wishes that Laura Lee wasn’t so fucking religious, because she knows that Laura Lee’s inherent
trust in God is single-handedly fueling this literal suicide mission. “And, no matter what happens,
I’ll always be here for you. Ok? Always.”

Shauna’s heart stutters at those words, but she still somehow manages to bob her head up and
down. So, Laura Lee automatically loosens her hold on Shauna’s body and approaches Lottie,
leaving Shauna to dwell in her own stupefaction. Like, honestly, Shauna is absolutely stunned by
Laura Lee’s unwavering trust in God. She fully believes that God is going to help her steer and fly
this rusty-ass airplane, training and experience be damned. And, well. Shauna thinks that Laura
Lee’s beliefs are absolutely ridiculous and dangerous, no matter what she says.

And, unsurprisingly, Coach Scott seems to share the same views as Shauna.

After hugging the rest of the group goodbye, Laura Lee wrings open the airplane's door and hops
right into the Captain’s seat. She tucks her somewhat tattered teddy bear— Leonard, Shauna thinks
its name is— right into the Co-pilot’s seat. And then, right before Laura Lee can even think to
swing the door closed, Coach Scott comes hobbling over.

He pushes his way into the doorway, before leaning back on one of his crutches. “For God's sake,
Laura Lee. Please,” Coach Scott pleads, glancing around the cockpit. He rakes his eyes over all of
the little buttons and knobs, before flitting his gaze back to Laura Lee. She offers him a thin smile,
while she slowly shakes her head back and forth. “Don't do this. You can’t—”
“Thanks for worrying about me. I really appreciate it, Coach. But…” Laura Lee trails off, reaching
for the door handle. Coach Scott instinctively backs away, before allowing his eyes to widen and
his jaw to drop. “This is my purpose.”

And, with that, Laura Lee abruptly slams the dirt-stained door shut. The painfully loud thud
reverberates within Shauna’s eardrums, before it begins to bounce around the inside of her skull.
So, Shauna begins to rub her temples in retaliation, right as Coach Scott comes limping over
towards the rest of the group.

He hangs his head and gazes blankly at the clumps of dirt resting beneath his foot, even as the
plane’s engine begins to sputter to life. It effectively fills the stale silence with this faint whirring
sound, right as the rust-covered propeller begins to haphazardly spin around. And then, just as
suddenly, the plane really begins to roar and rumble.

The corroded wheels on the landing gear begin to rotate, producing these ear-piercing squeaks and
screeches. But, eventually, Shauna can barely even hear the irritating noises. Once the plane makes
it halfway down the makeshift runway, a few of the girls begin to ecstatically whoop and clap,
drowning out all of the ear-grating creaks.

Shauna then watches, in equal parts terror and thrill, as the rickety plane gradually ascends right
into the air. “Oh my God! She’s doing it!” Jackie abruptly proclaims, eliciting a cacophony of
excited gasps and cheers.

The weathered, white plane eventually begins to soar over the lake, escaping the group’s direct
view. So, unsurprisingly, the overzealous Yellowjackets instinctively chase after the wobbly little
plane. Everyone virtually sprints towards the lake, carelessly kicking up clumps upon clumps of
rocky soil. Coach Scott, however, makes absolutely zero attempts to move. He stands in the middle
of the runway, leaning back on his crutches, with an unreadable expression on his face.

Shauna doesn’t even spare him a glance, focusing all of her attention on Laura Lee and the
miraculously airborne, old-ass plane. Like, Shauna barely even registers the rippling noises of the
lake or the heaps of uneven sand beneath her feet, allowing her mind and body to move on auto-
pilot. She physically cannot tear her eyes away from the airplane, which causes her to inadvertently
ignore all of her teammates’ glowing smiles and cheerful claps.

But then, in a matter of seconds, Shauna’s heart begins to erratically thrum and her stomach
instantaneously bottoms out.

A thick wave of black smoke trickles out of the cockpit, filling the clean air with this blanket of
stifling smog. And, apparently, Jackie and Shauna are the first ones to notice it. Jackie’s face falls
flat and she reluctantly glances over at Shauna with fearful eyes, before swallowing down a huge
lump in her throat. Shauna meets her gaze, before jutting her palms into her now watery, brown
eyes. But, well. The rest of the Yellowjackets continue to applaud and shout, clearly blind to the
painful picture in front of them.

“Is that— is that smoke?” Jackie abruptly declares, after tearing her gaze away from Shauna’s face.
She then nervously peers around the crowd, watching everyone’s smiles instantly falter. Misty
legitimately pauses mid-clap, before glancing between Jackie and the smokey plane, with saucer-
like eyes. And then, much to Shauna’s shock, Jackie’s Team Captain energy suddenly kickstarts
into high gear. “I’m sure it’s just— just the engine starting up more, or—”

The plane suddenly explodes, bursting into a cloud of thick smoke and bright orange flames. It
sends a wave of intense heat rushing straight towards the shore, which pricks right at Shauna’s
cheeks. And then, an array of charred and fractured airplane components plummet from the air,
landing directly into the crystalline lake. Shauna’s ears instantly begin to ring, effectively muffling
all of the shocked gasps and horrified cries, that keep streaming out of her teammates’ mouths.

Her vision begins to blur around the edges, compelling her to drop down onto her knees, in pure
defeat. Lottie then shoots right past Shauna like an errant bullet, kicking up so much wind with her
long strides, that a few errant strands of Shauna’s hair flutter around in the breeze. Shauna watches
on with glassy eyes, as Lottie basically stumbles right into the lake. She then practically collapses
into the water, before breaking down into these body-wracking sobs.

Shauna clenches her fists and gulps down the bile rising in her throat, apparently unable to
physically stomach this colossally fucked-up situation. So, of course, Shauna instantly looks to
Jackie for some relief. She swivels around and glances behind her, expecting to find Jackie all
teary-eyed and inconsolable.

But, nope.

Jackie is standing next to Natalie, with her arms crossed firmly over her chest. Her eyes are red-
rimmed and her lips are twisted into a frown, but she honestly looks a lot more put together than
Shauna currently does. Natalie’s eyes are slightly bloodshot too, but her lips are bent into this
outrageously crooked line. She then tilts those aforementioned lips right into the shell of Jackie’s
ear, before whispering something into it, all nonchalantly.

A watery smile instantaneously breaks onto Jackie’s face, right as Natalie decides to pull back and
smirk at her. Shauna’s stomach lurches at the sight, while Jackie begins to eagerly bob her head up
and down.

Before Shauna can even think to approach the two, Natalie is snatching Jackie by the hand and
tugging her back up the trail towards the fucking cabin. And, well. Shauna swears that she can feel
her heart rip open more and more, with each step that Natalie and Jackie take. She honestly feels
like it might just burst right out of her chest, exploding just like that fucking plane. That plane,
which almost tore Jackie into shreds, before effortlessly annihilating Laura Lee and all of Shauna’s
lingering hopes and dreams.

Jackie abruptly spins around then, instantly meeting Shauna’s watery eyes. She flashes Shauna the
faintest grin she has ever seen, which effectively doubles as a knife straight to Shauna’s chest. And
then, not even a split second later, Jackie is curtly wrenching her head back around. She and Nat
eventually disappear behind a thicket of massive trees, leaving Shauna frozen on the dusty shore.

A dull pang shoots through Shauna’s heart, right before it begins to thump like the world’s most
erratic jackhammer. She can feel her pulse beating wildly in both her ears and her throat, but she
opts to ignore it.

Shauna robotically swivels her head back around, studying Lottie’s crumpled face. Her mouth
droops open and she lets out this guttural scream, but Shauna can barely hear it over the sound of
her own, racing heart.

Her head spins and her stomach whirls, while shattered airplane parts begin to drift their way
towards the sand-covered beach. Shauna feels dizzy, mostly because thinking about Laura Lee
makes her heart plunge into the acrid depths of her stomach. And, well. It all hits her right then,
almost like a sucker punch to the gut.

They’re all fucked, Laura Lee is dead because of her, and Jackie is still acting weird.

The baby suddenly begins to bash its little leg against the inside of her abdomen, scaring Shauna
shitless. She positions her hand over her stomach in a desperate attempt to quell its vicious
onslaught, but it just kicks harder and harder. It’s mocking her, it’s chastising her, it’s literally
tearing her stomach to shreds.

Shauna instinctively bites at her lip, chewing back a sob.

Her guilt and shame run deeper than the waters of the fucking lake, at this point.

“Just the girl I was looking for!”

Shauna is sitting on the attic floor, with her journal perched in between her crisscrossed legs. Her
throat is clogged with mucus and her eyes are all watery, making it almost physically impossible
for her to write. So, Shauna quickly slams the journal shut with a sniffle, before cautiously glancing
upwards.

Jackie is suddenly standing right before her, swaying a bit in place. Her arms are crossed firmly
over her chest, while her lips are pursed into this slightly sour pucker. She studies Shauna’s face
intently for a moment, before allowing her glazed-over eyes to drift downward.

“Whatcha writing… Shauna?” Jackie basically barks, before thrusting a finger directly at the little
leather book. Shauna instinctively sputters and gawks right at Jackie, downright disoriented by the
bitchy tone of her voice. “Huh?”

“Just— uh—” Shauna stutters, taken aback by Jackie’s unusually stern demeanor. She sucks in a
deep breath and examines Jackie closely, noticing her wrinkled-up nose and squinted-up eyes. “I’m
just writing about how I feel. Y’know… about uh. Laura Lee?”

Jackie visibly gulps, her throat bobbing all rigidly. A moment of stifling stillness then fills the air,
while Jackie attempts to process the weight of Shauna’s words. She taps her foot and gnaws at the
inside of her cheek, while peering directly into Shauna’s eyes.

“Jax?” Shauna cautiously asks, licking her lips a bit. Her heart rattles against the inside of her
ribcage, picking up more and more steam, with each uncomfortably silent second. “Are you—”

Jackie abruptly stumbles forward, nearly tripping over her own feet. She then basically crashes
down onto the floor, allowing her ass to hit the weathered wood with a loud thud. Shauna blinks at
her in confusion, before snapping her mouth shut.

“No more of this,” Jackie commands, squeezing Shauna’s knee. Shauna wheezes out this
disoriented little squeaky noise, while Jackie leans forward. She plucks Shauna’s journal right out
of her lap, before unceremoniously heaving it towards the opposite side of the attic. Shauna’s eyes
widen and her gaze swiftly alternates between Jackie’s frowning face and the leather book, right
before it slams against the wall with this resoundingly loud thump. “It’s stupid.”

Shauna scoffs, shaking her head in bitter offense. “Oh, wow. Thanks, Jax!” Shauna sardonically
spits, glaring at Jackie’s pink-tinted cheeks. But, well. Jackie seems entirely unbothered by
Shauna’s annoyance, if the way her lips curl into this lazy smile, is of any indication. “Way to shit
on something that I actually like doing, after ignoring me for the past—”

Jackie thrusts her palms forward and unceremoniously shoves Shauna downward, forcing her onto
her back. Shauna’s mind whirls in circles as Jackie then scrambles forward, clumsily straddling her
waist. And then, Shauna’s throat constricts and her stomach lurches, right as Jackie bends forward
and practically pounces her lips.
She wraps a fist into Shauna’s flannel and tugs at it desperately, before winding her other hand into
Shauna’s hair. Jackie ruffles her dark strands with her fingers, yanking harshly and ungracefully.
She grinds her hips down onto Shauna’s lap in an absolutely punishing rhythm, effortlessly
clouding Shauna’s better judgment and intelligent thoughts. And, yeah. Shauna matches Jackie’s
feverish pace with equal amounts of enthusiasm and hunger… until she tastes it.

The pungent flavor of Smirnoff Vodka instantly slinks its way into Shauna’s mouth, right as Jackie
decides to plow her tongue between Shauna’s chapped lips. And, well. In a matter of seconds, it
suddenly feels like a massive bucket of brutally cold ice water, has been dumped right over
Shauna’s head.

She slithers a hand between their tightly-knit bodies, frantically pushing Jackie right off of her.
And, of course, Jackie topples right onto the flannel blanket with an indignant scoff. She glares at
Shauna expectantly, almost like she is imploring Shauna to say something. But, well. Shauna
chooses to just blink at her, mainly because her throat suddenly feels drier and coarser than a sheet
of fucking sandpaper.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Jackie spits, clenching her jaw a bit. Shauna instinctively huffs
out an incredulous guffaw, while her stomach begins to uncomfortably swirl. “Jesus. Make up your
fucking mind, for—”

“You’re fucking drunk, Jackie! That’s the fucking problem!” Shauna practically wails, which
apparently compels Jackie to flinch. But, Jackie quickly regains some of her poise, puffing out this
wave of absolutely ear-grating laughter. It makes Shauna’s blood boil, pushing her aggravation to
increase to an almost dangerous degree. “Our friend just died, Jackie. She exploded like a Fourth
of July firework! And you’re— you’re… what? Dealing with it by doing shots with Natalie fucking
Scatorrcio, for hours on end? What the hell is wrong—”

“Shit… my bad!” Jackie condescendingly proclaims, scrambling to her feet. She shrugs her
shoulders up all breezily at Shauna, completely unruffled by her visible confusion. “I forgot that
you have a monopoly on making shitty and stupid, drunk-ass decisions!” Jackie adds, thrusting a
hand over her heart. Shauna’s face instantaneously shifts from surprised to hurt, right after Jackie’s
brutal words basically bitch-slap her across the cheek. She stares at Jackie with her mouth agape,
downright horrified and heartbroken by the way she is currently acting. “I’ll make sure to keep
that in mind, y’know? Wouldn’t wanna get super wasted and accidentally fuck Travis behind
Natalie’s back, or something—”

“How the fuck could you— could you even say something like that to me?” Shauna shakily
stammers, with a pathetically small voice. Tears prick at the corners of her eyelids, unconsciously
blurring the level look currently carved into Jackie’s face. “Like, I don’t— I don’t get why you’re
being so mean to me all of a sudden.”

Jackie keels over and clutches her stomach, wheezing out this throaty chuckle. “I’m being mean?”
Jackie mocks, pointedly rolling her eyes. Shauna sinks her teeth into her lower lip and drops her
glassy eyes to the floor, numbly bouncing her head up and down. “That’s really fucking rich,
coming from you.”

“Did I— did I like, do something?” Shauna hesitantly asks, still skimming her eyes along the
cracks marring the wooden floor. Jackie sneers and dramatically clears her throat, spurring Shauna
to hesitantly glance up at her. Her hands are now resting on her hips and she keeps tipping her chin
up, almost like she is begging Shauna to say something. But, well. Shauna honestly doesn’t know
what Jackie wants— or expects— to hear, at all. “Jax, did I—”

“I don’t know, Shauna. Did you? Did you do something fucked-up?” Jackie challenges, leaning her
head to the side. Shauna’s face flushes and her head begins to throb, but she still manages to
robotically jostle it back and forth. And, well. Jackie looks downright baffled by her wordless
reply, with her mouth agape and her eyes lit with fire. “You are un-fucking-believable!” Jackie
suddenly grits out, clenching up her jaw. Shauna leans further back into her pillow, right as Jackie
bends down and practically lunges into her face. “Y’know what? I was just joking about the Travis
thing. But now, I— I really want to do it. Just to even the fucking playing field. Just so that you can
finally feel how fucking shitty I feel, every fucking day!”

Shauna’s stomach wrenches, leaving this sour taste in her mouth. “So— so that’s what your issue
is? You’ve been a bitch to me— for nearly a fucking month— because I made a mistake? With—
with Randy?” Shauna fires back, with a frown. Jackie lets out this throaty growl, before fisting her
hands into her hair, tugging in exasperation. “I— Jackie. This is why I didn’t wanna talk about it. I
knew— I knew it would hurt you. And—”

Jackie wrings one of her hands out of her light brown locks, just to slap at her own knee, in
frustration. Her face contorts into this absolutely horrific shade of red, prompting Shauna’s mouth
to instantly snap shut. “Don’t even try to act like you give a single shit about me or my feelings!
God! You’re so full of shit…” Jackie trails off, just to gasp out another surge of sardonic laughter.
Shauna instinctively opens her mouth to defend herself, but legitimately zero words manage to spill
from her lips. So, Jackie grumbles on, sounding entirely resentful. “And… Jesus Christ. I can’t
believe that you have the audacity to scream at me for drinking. How the fuck else do you expect
me to deal with your bullshit? I mean, honestly, I should just be an alcoholic at this point.”

“Why are— why are you acting like this?” Shauna basically sobs, jutting her palms into her teary
eyes. Jackie just shakes her head and darts her eyes to the side, sliding her hand over her mouth.
“You— you told everyone about the fucking baby. And you’re— you’re day-drinking? Like,
you’re acting all crazy instead of just talking to me. It’s like you’ve become your fucking—”

Shauna abruptly freezes, unconsciously pushing most of her body to tingle with numbness. Her
eyes instinctively bulge out of their sockets, blinking wildly. Her heart clamors in her chest, almost
like she has just expended enough adrenaline, to run a full marathon. She smacks her lips closed
and clumsily catches herself, right before she can drop a verbal atomic bomb.

But, of course, Shauna isn’t actually in the all-clear. If anything, Shauna has just inadvertently
placed herself, right into Jackie’s blast zone.

“What?” Jackie barks, swiveling her gaze back to Shauna’s pale face. Shauna basically shrinks into
her flannel blanket, vehemently shaking her head back and forth. “No. Say it, Shauna. Who have I
become, huh?” Jackie sardonically inquires, creeping closer to Shauna. And, well. With Jackie now
towering right over her and scowling down at her, Shauna thinks that she might actually explode.
“Tell me, Shauna. I know that you want to. Tell me. Tell me… now,” Jackie basically begs,
apparently attempting to goad Shauna into speaking. But, well. Shauna just scowls and digs her
nails into the fabric of her blanket, desperately attempting to fight the sudden urge to snap. “What
were you gonna say, Shauna? I think I deserve to know, don’t you? Especially with all of the li—”

“You’re acting like your mom, Jackie! Alright? You’ve been acting like her for weeks! And it’s—
it’s really starting to freak me out!” Shauna unconfidently blurts out, almost like the words have
been beaten out of her. And, of course, Jackie’s face instantly falls flatter than a slab of stone. So,
Shauna instinctively attempts to go on the defensive, rushing to her feet. “I— I—” Shauna
stammers, reaching for Jackie’s cheek. Jackie legitimately recoils away from her, before slapping
her hand away. “I didn’t mean— I was just— I’m worried about—”

“We’re fucking done. This— this is over.”

The air falls eerily still, almost like a nuclear explosion has just taken place. Shauna instantly
stumbles backward, downright steamrolled by Jackie’s words. Her heart abruptly freezes mid-beat,
while her stomach completely bottoms out. She vehemently shakes her head back and forth, right as
her heavy tears begin to drip down onto the wooden floorboards.

“No— no. We— we can fix this. I can fix this. It’s not— Jax. I didn’t—” Shauna whimpers, her
voice cracking with each word. Jackie just stares at her, with lifeless eyes and a totally blank face.
“I didn’t mean to—”

“I can’t do this anymore, ok? And I— I really fucking tried. But, you— you keep—” Jackie trails
off, swallowing roughly. She blinks her eyes and sucks in a shaky breath, before recalibrating.
“Nevermind. Just know that uh, I’m sorry.”

Radio static fills Shauna’s silent brain, rendering her incapable of forming coherent sentences. So,
Shauna just inelegantly sputters in Jackie’s face, while her heart begins to falter. “I— Jackie
— don’t—”

Jackie sighs and lifts a hand up, cupping Shauna’s cheek. She swirls her finger in little shapes,
before leaning in and planting a faint peck on Shauna’s mouth. Jackie’s lips linger for just a split
second, before she abruptly tears them away. And, of course, Shauna instinctively chases after her.
“Don’t make this harder than it already is,” Jackie stoically states, placing a hand on Shauna’s
chest. She pushes Shauna back lightly, sending her stumbling back just an inch. “I do love you, ok?
Like, a lot. That’s not— that’s not gonna change. But, Shauna. I— I can’t keep doing this with
you.”

Shauna’s chest heaves, right as she breaks down into another wave of heavy sobs. “But, I don’t— I
don’t know why…” Shauna trails off, right as her entire body begins to tremble. Jackie huffs out
another deep sigh, running her palm over her mouth. “Can you— can you just…” Shauna breaks
off again, grabbing Jackie’s forearm. Jackie’s lips twist into a frown, peering between Shauna’s
face and the hand that is now wrapped around her arm. “Can you please tell me what I—”

“No,” Jackie resolutely proclaims, right as tears begin to leak from her own eyes. She vehemently
shakes her head, while wrestling her arm out of Shauna’s grasp. “No, I— I’m over this…” Jackie
whispers, rubbing at her eyes. She sniffles, sucking her lip between her teeth. “This isn’t— this
isn’t good for me."

Shauna lets out this pitiful whimper, spurring Jackie to give her one last once-over. And then,
before Shauna can even think to stop her, Jackie is abruptly turning on her heel and climbing right
down the rickety ladder.

And, well. For a few seconds, Shauna just stands there. She stares at a nearby crack in the wall,
while gasping sharply for air. It’s like her entire body has shut down. Like, honestly, maybe all of
her internal wiring has been torn to shreds by Jackie fucking Taylor.

Eventually, Shauna’s synapses manage to slowly click back into place. She robotically drifts over
towards her pillow, peering down at it with a frown.

She winds her leg back and kicks it, over and over again. Her cheeks puff up and her face turns
redder and redder, with each swift strike. Her fractured heart pounds in her ears, in her throat, in
her stomach.

That rusty-ass plane didn’t steal Laura Lee or Jackie away from Shauna. She pushed them away,
all by herself.
Chapter End Notes

sorry for the delay this week has been #nuts. an absolute bloodbath actually

coming up next: doomcoming (lol)

 doomcoming
Chapter Summary

Jackie’s eyes bulge out of their sockets and her mouth instinctively droops open, while
Shauna just audibly winces in discomfort. “I— I, um…” Jackie stutters, running a
hand through her hair. She glances over at Shauna like a deer in headlights, clearly
rattled by Tai’s abrupt decision to hit below the belt. But, after a few long beats of
silence, Jackie apparently regains her poise. “Well, Tai. I wouldn’t want you or Shauna
to take care of me, anyways! That’s my brand-new, drinking buddy’s job!” Jackie
cloyingly proclaims, before placing a hand on Natalie’s knee. She squeezes it and
plasters on this sickly-sweet smile, then goggles right at Shauna in a wordless
challenge. Shauna can feel her blood simmering in her veins, but she absolutely refuses
to take the bait. She just clenches her fists at her sides and pointedly glares downward,
in a desperate attempt to stifle her anger. “And… c’mon. Do we need a reason? We're
gonna be dead in a few weeks.”

Or: The girlies have a weird time at the world high school dance ever.

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

October 13th, 1996

A heavy silence drifts through the stale air, while a gloomy Akilah shuffles around the cramped
living room. She dutifully dishes out the group’s meager ‘dinner,’ filling an assortment of metal
cans and rusty bowls with a small scoop of sizzling hot maggots. It is the one and only meal that
has been on the cabin’s shitty menu, for the past two fucking weeks. There are no longer any fresh
berries to pick or free-roaming game to hunt, thanks to the supreme power of the rapidly chilling
air outside.

Winter is barreling towards the Yellowjackets and their feeble little cabin, faster than a freight
train. And, well. The frigid air is already seeping through all of the little crevices and cracks that
haphazardly litter the walls and floors, filling the cabin with nothing but uneasy tension and bitter
cold. The ice and frost have also managed to fully fracture everyone’s already weak and fragile
resolves, leaving the entire group downright dejected and thoroughly listless. So, yeah. All of the
Yellowjackets’ lives are already fucking doomed, if the cacophony of grumbling stomachs, is of
any indication. They are all going to slowly starve to death, in some dinky old cabin, in the middle
of fucking nowhere.

And, much to Shauna’s vehement horror, Jackie is withering and wilting the fastest out of
everyone. Jackie legitimately refuses to eat, opting to shove her portions back in Akilah’s direction
or covertly shovel them into Shauna’s fucking bowl. She also refuses to speak to Shauna or listen to
Shauna, but continues to hurl these longing little looks in her general direction.

Case in point: Jackie is gazing at Shauna with these beady eyes and this crooked little frown, while
she curtly waves a hand in front of Akilah’s maggot-infested, frying pan. Akilah puffs out this
exasperated sigh and shoots Jackie a slightly irritated look, before immediately trudging over
towards Mari. She then sprinkles a couple of fried-up maggots in Mari’s can, clearly unbothered by
Jackie’s sudden lethargy.

So, for probably the one-millionth time this month, Shauna automatically attempts to crack away at
Jackie’s newly-minted, stony exterior. “Jax…” Shauna murmurs, crawling closer to her. Jackie just
audibly swallows, before abruptly tearing her eyes away from Shauna’s worried face. She then
peers into the dusty fireplace, staring blankly at the assortment of faint, orange flames. Shauna
sucks in a deep and shaky breath, eyeing Jackie carefully, before finally working up the courage to
speak. “You have to eat.”

“Why?” Jackie all but snaps, rounding on Shauna in about two seconds flat. She swivels her head
around, leveling Shauna with this deep scowl. Shauna automatically gawks at her and stammers out
a few disgruntled noises, until the sound of Jackie’s biting voice practically stabs her in the chest.
“What does it matter, at this point? Seriously. I don’t—”

“Ok… I— I can't do this anymore!” Mari snarkily proclaims, gracelessly rising from her seat on
the floor. She then marches towards the other side of the living room, plucking this massive jar off
of a nearby shelf. “It feels like a graveyard in here, guys. Let’s… I don’t know…” Mari trails off,
with a playful eyebrow raise. She cradles the heavy jar in her arms, weaving her way back towards
the fireplace. And then, Mari places the jar down onto the wooden floor with a loud thunk, before
squatting in front of it. “Liven this bitch up!”

Shauna’s bewildered gaze swivels between the smirk on Mari’s face and the massive jar, which is
filled to the brim with this somewhat chunky, bright red liquid. But, right as Shauna begins to open
her mouth to grill Mari on the origins of this mystery liquid, Coach Scott is beating her to the
punch. “What the hell is that?” Coach Scott asks, squinting at the dust-covered jar. Mari just grins
back at him, before popping the lid off.

“It was some berries I was trying to save, but... I think it might've turned into booze?” Mari
murmurs, holding the open jar closer to her nose. She then waves her hand right in front of the lid,
wafting the scent into her nostrils like they’re back in Mrs. Maguirre’s horrid chemistry class. And,
sure enough, Mari visibly flinches and audibly gags at what Shauna presumes is some downright
bitter and pungent smell. “And, I don't know about the rest of you…” Mari murmurs, placing the
jar back down. She peers around the room expectantly, while frivolously gesturing a hand towards
the open container. “But I could use a drink. Plus, it’s not like we’ve got anymore Smirnoff left…”
Mari grumbles, glaring between Natalie and Jackie. Natalie just cooly shrugs, while Jackie rolls
her eyes in mock offense. Typical. “Like, way to share guys. Really.”

Jackie scoffs at Mari, cracking open her mouth a little bit. But, before Jackie can actually begin to
rip Mari to shreds, Tai is speaking up. “Do we think it's safe?” Tai blurts out, hesitantly glancing
down at the sloshing red liquid. She then looks to Shauna, which apparently warrants a fairly loud
guffaw from Jackie. And, of course, Tai immediately narrows her eyebrows at Jackie’s shit-eating
grin. “Look, Taylor. I get that there’s some trouble in paradise…” Tai spits, spurring Jackie’s face
to contort into this bright red hue. Jackie's smirk also automatically falters, in response to Tai's
words. Her eyes then drift away from Tai, allowing her to glance over at Shauna with an
unreadable expression on her face. “But I don't think that this is a good idea.”

“Do we care?” Coach Scott butts in, shutting Tai right up. And, well. Jackie seems incredibly
relieved by the somewhat blunt interruption, puffing out this huge sigh of relief. Unsurprisingly,
Coach Scott seems entirely unaffected by the little sound, opting to focus all of his attention on
peering around the room. “I mean, do we care if it’s… safe?”

Mari’s face automatically splits into a grin, right as those relatively dark words spill out of Coach
Scott’s mouth. “I have a few more jars…” Mari nonchalantly declares, clapping her hands together.
She then swivels her imploring gaze between Natalie and Jackie, apparently attempting to goad
them into agreeing with her. Shauna instinctively juts a palm into her eyelid and furiously rubs at
it, fighting the sudden urge to cry over the mere prospect of seeing drunk Jackie in action, all over
again.

And, of course, Jackie breezily amplifies all of Shauna’s fears in about five seconds flat. “I mean,
c’mon. If we have booze, we really shouldn’t let it go to waste…” Jackie murmurs, peering up at
Natalie with moony eyes. Natalie then shoots a fucking smirk back down at Jackie and jostles her
stupid bleach-blonde head up and down, prompting Shauna to clench her jaw in sheer anger.
“Like, we have to have a party!”

Tai breaks down into a fit of incredulous laughter, shaking her head at Jackie in clear-cut
annoyance. “Yeah. Sure, Jackie…” Tai snickers, earning a somewhat piercing glower from Jackie,
in return. She crosses her arms over her chest and juts her chin into the air, while Tai continues her
verbal onslaught. “Mhm. Great idea, ‘cause we've obviously got so much to celebrate…” Tai flatly
states, rolling her eyes a bit. Tai then glances over at the apprehensive look on Shauna’s face,
which evidently triggers her better fucking judgment to completely shut off. “Plus, I don’t feel like
watching you get all sloppy, Jackie. I’m not gonna babysit you. And, guess what? Shauna isn’t
going to, either. No fun little bathroom breaks for you, I guess!”

Jackie’s eyes bulge out of their sockets and her mouth instinctively droops open, while Shauna just
audibly winces in discomfort. “I— I, um…” Jackie stutters, running a hand through her hair. She
glances over at Shauna like a deer in headlights, clearly rattled by Tai’s abrupt decision to hit
below the belt. But, after a few long beats of silence, Jackie apparently regains her poise. “Well,
Tai. I wouldn’t want you or Shauna to take care of me, anyways! That’s my brand-new, drinking
buddy’s job!” Jackie cloyingly proclaims, before placing a hand on Natalie’s knee. She squeezes it
and plasters on this sickly-sweet smile, then goggles right at Shauna in a wordless challenge.
Shauna can feel her blood simmering in her veins, but she absolutely refuses to take the bait. She
just clenches her fists at her sides and pointedly glares downward, in a desperate attempt to stifle
her anger. “And… c’mon. Do we need a reason? We're gonna be dead in a few weeks.”

Shauna’s stomach instinctively lurches and whirls, as soon as those incredibly pessimistic words
spew out of Jackie’s consistently cheery mouth. But, somehow, the rest of the Yellowjackets appear
entirely unphased by their Team Captain’s unusually cynical demeanor. Misty is the first one to
actually pipe up and bolster Jackie’s views, after pushing her glasses higher up the bridge of her
nose. “There's a full moon tomorrow night…” Misty murmurs, before instantaneously peering
around the room for some form of validation.

And, of course, Jackie automatically grants it to her with absolutely zero hesitation. She bounces
her head and beams like a fucking light bulb, right as Akilah decides to toss in her two cents.
“And… it's almost homecoming?” Akilah murmurs, shrugging her shoulders up a bit. Yet again,
Jackie squeezes Natalie’s kneecap in uncontrollable excitement, while Shauna outwardly seethes.

“We packed dresses… right?” Lottie suddenly inquires, from the other side of the living room. She
absently picks at her jagged fingernails, while allowing her lifeless eyes to bounce around the
tightly-packed living room. “Y’know… for the awards dinner?”

“There we go!” Jackie proclaims, before finally ripping her hand off of Natalie’s leg. Jackie then
begins to enthusiastically clap her dainty hands together, exuding more energy than she has in
nearly two fucking months. “We have dresses, we have booze. We can decorate…” Jackie rambles,
speaking faster and faster with each passing word. And, well. Shauna is honestly starting to get
déjà vu to last fucking October, at this point. Like, Shauna swears that she hasn’t seen Jackie this
eager or involved, since she created all of her bedazzled, homecoming campaign posters. And,
ironically enough, Jackie’s eternal love for homecoming dances has apparently outlasted her love
for Shauna. “Like, guys! We should have a sort of... moon homecoming!”

A brief beat of utter stillness thrums through the living room, but the spell is quickly broken by the
sound of Tai snickering. “More like a doom homecoming,” Tai mocks, before shooting a prideful
little smirk in Shauna’s direction. And, yeah. Even though she is grateful for Tai’s feeble attempts
to defend her behavior, Shauna doesn’t actually appreciate Tai’s proclivity toward undermining
Jackie. So, instead of bolstering Tai’s somewhat rude remarks, Shauna just shakes her head and
waves a hand in the air.

And, surprisingly enough, Tai instantly backs down and retracts her fangs. Her mouth snaps shut
and she obediently lowers her head in embarrassment, allowing Natalie to take the floor. “A
Doomcoming…” Natalie trails off, nodding her head all cooly. She points a finger in Jackie’s
direction, letting out this genuine-sounding chuckle. “Now that is a party idea, Jax.”

This bitter taste automatically floods Shauna’s dry mouth, after hearing Jackie’s childhood
nickname frivolously slip through Natalie’s stupid lips. It’s the nickname that Shauna had coined
for Jackie, way back in the second grade. And, well. After years upon years of friendship, Shauna
fully believes that she is the only person who is worthy of referring to Jackie by that exclusive
name.

Jackie seems to notice Shauna’s irritation, if the sly smile that suddenly breaks onto her face, is of
any indication. She juts her chin in Shauna’s direction and studies Shauna’s rapidly reddening face
for a brief second, before glancing around the room. “Yeah! All right. Doomcoming!” Jackie
cheerily declares, slapping the splintering floorboards with the heel of her palm. Shauna, still
reeling over Natalie’s downright absurd audacity, barely manages to huff out a dismally faint scoff.
“Tomorrow night… we'll drink rotten berries and celebrate our impending deaths.”

That thoroughly grave sentence shoots out of Jackie’s mouth so casually and so easily, that a shiver
instinctively twists its way up Shauna’s spine. Like, Jackie obviously isn’t wrong, in any shape or
form. They are all undoubtedly going to starve to death, as soon as winter hits. But, well. If anyone
should be spitting out gloomy little remarks, it’s Shauna.

Seeing Jackie like this— all dejected, listless, and unhopeful— drives Shauna’s heart to burn, like
the raging flames in the nearby fireplace.

Much to Shauna’s fervent horror, the little gold zipper on the back of her navy dress will not
budge. She has grabbed it firmly and yanked on it harshly approximately four times already, with
zero fucking luck. It is clear that the stupid zipper refuses to glide its way up the thin metal track
lining the back of her dress, thanks to the presence of her rapidly expanding baby bump.

The panic sets in right then, sending her heart racing and her mind pulsating. This stupid fucking
mistake is developing at a truly alarming rate. It has presumably evolved into a horrific mixture of
Shauna and Jeff’s mismatched genes, at this point. It probably has a pair of legs, a pair of arms, and
a face that has been assembled with an assortment of Jeff and Shauna’s distinct features. This
mistake— this thing— is a person, that is currently living and growing in the pit of Shauna’s
stomach.

Her cheeks suddenly feel scorching hot, almost like she’s been struck with the worst type of
sunburn. She can feel her temples pounding, beating against her skull like a pair of snare drums.
So, yeah. Shauna really wishes that this baby didn’t actually exist. She legitimately loathes
thinking about its existence, which always happens whenever she is alone with her thoughts.
So, in an effort to free herself from her own introspections, Shauna races over toward the small
opening in the attic floor. “Hey!” Shauna shouts, tilting her head towards the bottom of the ladder.
She fumbles with the zipper again, but ends up getting absolutely nowhere. “Can— can someone
help me zip my dress up?”

A few silent seconds pass, prompting Shauna to huff in agitation. She trudges over towards her
suitcase and begins to dig through it, hoping to find something that fits her and could be considered
dressy enough. But, of course, Shauna’s decision to stuff her suitcase with an obscene amount of
flannels has finally come back to bite her right in the ass. This fucking dress— that literally refuses
to zip-up past her rapidly expanding stomach— is her only option, in the formalwear department.

But, before Shauna can tearfully rip off her dress and forego attending this fucked-up function,
Jackie is creeping her way up the rickety ladder. She hesitantly steps toward Shauna and places a
clammy hand on her shoulder, from behind. And, well. Jackie’s tentative touch catches Shauna by
surprise, startling her so much, that she instantly puts her suitcase excavation on pause.

“Hey… uh. Mari said you needed some help up here…” Jackie timidly states, right as Shauna
twists around. Her eyes instinctively widen as she stares Jackie up and down, almost entirely
convinced that she is somehow imagining this. Jackie must misread Shauna’s silence as irritation,
because she is then crossing her arms over her chest and frowning. “Look, I can just go back
downstairs and get someone else… if you want. I just, um. I just didn’t wanna interrupt Mari’s
cooking or Tai’s—”

“No, I— I don’t want you to leave,” Shauna quickly states, a bit too earnestly. She honestly wants
to punch herself over how desperate and pathetic she sounds, but Jackie seems unphased by the
timbre of her voice. Instead of making some snide remark or some ruthless comment, Jackie just
bobs her head up and down. “So… can you, um. Help me zip this?”

Shauna slowly twirls around and reaches for the zipper on the back of her dress, but her hand is
immediately batted away by Jackie. “Yeah, uh. Sure,” Jackie stammers, quickly pushing Shauna’s
hair over her shoulder. She then grasps the little zipper with one shaky hand, before squeezing
Shauna’s hip with the other one. And, of course, Jackie’s touch rips this embarrassingly strangled
sigh out of the back of Shauna’s throat.

Much to Shauna’s surprise and relief, Jackie decides not to pick at the low-hanging fruit and
effortlessly make fun of her. Instead, Jackie just remains eerily silent, presumably focusing all of
her attention on gradually tugging the zipper upwards. She slowly glides it up the metal track,
accidentally brushing her trembling fingers against the bare, goosebump-lined skin on Shauna’s
back.

Shauna bites down harshly on her bottom lip, stifling the shaky breath that threatens to escape her
mouth. Jackie seems less interested in suppressing the air in her lungs, allowing her hot breath to
blow against the nape of Shauna’s neck. A wave of heat instantaneously buzzes throughout
Shauna’s entire body, in response to the sensation. And, well. Now that she feels like she is
burning from the inside out, Shauna attempts to find some relief by inelegantly squirming around.

Jackie responds by tightening her grip on Shauna’s hip, digging her sharp nails into the fabric-clad
skin. It takes all of Shauna’s willpower to bite back a whimper, right as Jackie finally manages to
drag the zipper all the way to the top of the metal track. Shauna swallows down the grainy lump in
her presently dry throat, before hesitantly glancing over her shoulder. “Um… are you— you done?”
Shauna chokes out, registering the dark look in Jackie’s eyes.

And, just like that, Shauna manages to break the fucking spell like a total idiot. Jackie blinks at her
in a daze and then peers downward, staring at her own hands like they’re foreign fucking objects.
She instantly tears her shaking hands off of the zipper and Shauna’s waist, before anxiously
running them through her light brown hair.

Shauna gulps and reaches forward, attempting to grab ahold of Jackie’s wrist. “Jax…” Shauna
sheepishly states, circling her forearm. And, for the first time in a long time, Jackie doesn’t recoil
away from her touch. Her face softens and her pupils broaden, while her eyelashes begin to flutter
all around. Fuck. “Do you think we could… maybe talk about us and why—”

“Jax! I just finished cutting the rest of that fabric,” Natalie abruptly shouts, driving both Shauna
and Jackie to jump in place. Jackie automatically shoots Shauna a forlorn frown, provoking Shauna
to loosen her grip on her wrist. And then, Jackie paces closer to the ladder and peers into the
pantry, where Natalie is now stirring with excitement. Shauna bites her lip and rolls her eyes,
fighting against the urge to scream in aggravation. Like, she was so fucking close to starting a
meaningful conversation with Jackie, until Natalie fucking ruined it. “I’ve got a shit ton of shitty
streamers with your name on ‘em, down here. Wanna show me where you want them?”

“Yeah… totally!” Jackie chokes out, reluctance clipping her vocal cords. She swivels her head
around and plasters on a faint smile, gazing at Shauna for just a split second. Shauna wets her lips
and opens her mouth to speak, but Jackie is already twisting back around and inching her way
down the fucking ladder.

Shauna scrambles closer to the opening in the attic floor and peers into the pantry, catching Jackie
climbing down the last rung. And then, right after her muddied Lacoste sneakers hit the dust-
covered floor, Jackie is practically sprinting toward the living room. Natalie whirls around and
watches her go, before peeking back up at Shauna.

She shoots Shauna a leering smirk and a two-finger salute, before turning on her heel and marching
after Jackie. And, well. Shauna’s brown eyes instantly harden into a pair of rigid stones, as they
meticulously track Natalie and her frivolous stroll right out of the pantry. She clenches her fists at
her sides, before sucking in an absurdly reedy breath.

It honestly takes all of Shauna’s willpower not to frantically chase after Jackie and Natalie, like an
agitated chicken without a fucking head.

“Let the Doomcoming begin!”

Javi smacks a fragment of loose airplane scrap with a thick tree branch, effectively mocking the
sound of a gong. And then, two by two, the Yellowjackets stroll through this curtain of makeshift
streamers and enter a slightly decorated clearing. Shauna ends up accidentally walking in with
Travis, but she then immediately rushes over to the stone-laced firepit, which is where everyone has
begun to congregate. She sidles up next to Jackie, who is currently gloomily gazing at something
over her shoulder. Shauna instinctively follows her line of sight, instantaneously spotting Tai and
Van. They are slowly stepping toward the glowing fire, with their hands perfectly entwined
together. Once Van and Tai begin to circle up with the rest of the Yellowjackets, Shauna spares a
quick glance in Jackie’s direction. And, of course, Jackie instinctively avoids Shauna’s imploring
eyes by darting her gaze towards the ground.

“Are they—?” Mari suddenly murmurs, tilting her mouth towards Akilah’s ear. Jackie’s eyes
immediately snap up at the sound of Mari’s voice, allowing her to watch Mari tip her head in Tai
and Van’s general direction. Shauna mirrors the movement and peeks over at Tai and Van, who are
now leaning closer and closer together.

“Duh,” Akilah proclaims, with a playful eye roll. Mari just shrugs all breezily in response, right as
the corners of her lips begin to twist upwards.

Not even ten seconds later, Tai is instantaneously punctuating Akilah’s previous assertion, by
cupping Van’s face and pulling her in for a passionate kiss. All of the Yellowjackets whoop and
cheer at the romantic gesture, spurring Shauna’s face to split into this massive smile. She
enthusiastically claps along with all of the other girls, until she catches sight of Jackie, out of the
corner of her eye.

Shauna legitimately pauses her hands mid-clap, just so that she can focus all of her attention on
examining the look that Jackie is currently giving her. She is gazing at Shauna intently, with these
incredibly glassy eyes. Her lips are twisted downward in this half-envious, half-melancholic frown.
And, well. Shauna has no idea what to say or do, so she ends up asking Jackie one of the lamest
questions imaginable. “Do you uh, wanna sit?” Shauna asks, spurring Jackie’s eyebrows to raise.
Shauna clumsily motions to a tree log resting a few feet away, while scratching at the back of her
neck. “I can, um. I can get us food if you— if you want.”

Jackie offers her a faint smile and a curt nod, before shuffling over toward the splintering tree log.
She practically flings herself down onto it, right as Shauna begins to trudge over towards this
absolutely massive bowl of mushroom stew. Shauna gradually fills up two rusty cans with the
cloudy liquid, while Misty watches her like a creepy, bug-eyed hawk. Once Shauna finishes up, the
rest of the Yellowjackets decide to follow her lead. They all begin to line up behind her, wielding a
hodgepodge of cracked cans and dirty bowls in their hands. But, weirdly enough, Misty makes no
effort to grab some soup. With parted lips and dilated eyes, Misty chooses to study each and every
person, as they scoop out their share of the tasteless liquid.

Shauna saunters closer to Jackie, then takes a seat right beside her on the tree log. She wordlessly
holds one of the cans out towards Jackie, who resolutely shakes her head at the mere sight of it.
“Please… have some food. For me?” Shauna begs, strategically squeezing her lips into a pout. She
then takes a few sips out of her own can, just for emphasis.

Jackie glares at Shauna and tears the other can right out of her grasp, before legitimately downing
all of its contents in one, massive gulp. And, well. Shauna swears that this is the first time she has
seen Jackie eat, in literal weeks. So, unsurprisingly, the sight instantly coerces Shauna to huff out
this resoundingly loud sigh of relief.

Thankfully, Coach Scott’s booming voice tunes that sound out, before it can successfully reach
Jackie’s eardrums. “In my official capacity as your coach, I most certainly cannot condone
underage drinking,” Coach Scott murmurs, glancing between Tai and Van. They are congregating
right near Shauna and Jackie, effectively allowing both girls to eavesdrop on their conversation,
with little to no effort. “But, uh. That said… cheers,” Coach Scott adds, holding out his can of
berry booze. He shyly grins, readjusting one of his crutches. “I really admire what you two did
tonight.”

Van and Tai exchange a look and matching smiles, before thrusting their cans against Coach
Scott’s. A loud clink instantly buzzes through the air, which seems to weirdly aggravate Lottie.
“Stop,” Lottie stoically commands, prompting everyone to instantly freeze. She silently surveys the
crowd, scanning and studying all of the pensive looks, before finally speaking up. “We should have
a moment of silence for Laura Lee.”

In a matter of seconds, legitimately all of the Yellowjackets begin to obediently bob their heads up
and down, in a unanimous display of agreement. Tai glances around the silent crowd and raises her
can into the air, before clearing her throat a little bit. “To Laura Lee.”

The rest of the girls solemnly raise their rusty cans up, toasting Laura Lee for her inherent bravery
and kindness. A resoundingly loud silence then fills the air, right after a majority of the girls take a
sip of their red-tinted, berry booze. But, of course, Natalie’s sharp voice cuts through the quietness
fairly fucking quickly. “So…” Natalie mumbles, looking directly at Jackie. She smirks at her all
devilishly, which just makes Shauna’s skin crawl. “What now?”

“Oh…” Jackie trails off, arising from her seat on the tree log. Shauna instinctively mirrors her
behavior and practically leaps off of the sordid bark, just so that she can stand between Natalie and
Jackie. “Now we just need a DJ to pump up the volume!”

“What we need is a slow dance,” Misty practically demands, while staring at Coach Scott with
mooneyes. Coach Scott lets out this nervous laugh, before allowing his gaze to drift downwards.
But, well. Socially oblivious Misty doesn’t seem to notice Coach Scott’s discomfort, opting to
drape a hand on his brawny shoulder. “Don’t you think so, Be—”

“Ba-da-da, ba-da-da-da-da-da. Ba-da-da,” Lottie begins to hum, before plopping down onto a
nearby tree stump. Tai and Van exchange grins, looping their arms around each other. Mari and
Akilah follow suit, while Lottie’s vocals start to increase in volume. “Ba-da-da, ba-da-da-da-da-
da. Ba-da-da.”

A majority of the girls begin to giggle and sway to the imaginary beat, before opting to sing along
to Lottie’s acoustic version of Kiss From a Rose. “There used to be a graying tower, alone on the
sea…” Tai and Van loudly sing, while cheerfully rocking side to side. Shauna grins at them like an
idiot, before glancing over at Jackie. She is picking at her nails and peering between the dancing
duos, with this crooked smile on her face.

“You became the light on the dark side of me…”

“Hey,” Shauna whispers, leaning right into Jackie’s ear. Akilah and Mari begin to twirl around
together, which Jackie seems hyper-fixated on. “Do you… um. Wanna dance?” Shauna tentatively
asks, nibbling her lip. And, well. That statement instantaneously steals Jackie’s attention away
from Mari and Akilah, urging her to glance at Shauna all apprehensively. Like, Shauna swears that
she can see the gears churning in Jackie’s skull, even as she extends a shaky hand in her direction.
“Just as… y’know. Friends.”

Shauna basically wheezes that last word out of her mouth, choking it out in a way that makes it
sound all sharp and strangled. But, somehow, Jackie seems unruffled by Shauna’s painfully timid
demeanor. She bats Shauna’s hand away, before silently looping her arms around her neck. And,
well. Shauna instinctively grasps Jackie’s hips tightly, holding onto her waist like it's some sort of
anchor.

“Love remained a drug that's the high and not the pill. But did you know that when it snows, my
eyes become large and the light that you shine can't be seen?”

Jackie and Shauna slowly sway back and forth, dancing to the rhythm of their friends’ mismatched
vocals and harmonies. “So…” Jackie abruptly murmurs, lightly stroking the nape of Shauna’s neck.
Shauna sighs in response to the gesture and tips her chin a bit, motioning for Jackie to go on. “Is
this… y’know. Making you rethink your anti-school dance stance?”

Shauna wheezes out this flustered chuckle, grinning all toothily at Jackie. And, surprisingly
enough, Jackie’s face also splits into a smile. She grins at Shauna all sheepishly, with this
inscrutable glint in her hazel eyes. So, Shauna automatically pulls her in closer, before lowering her
voice an octave. “Well, yeah. I get to dance with Wiskayok High’s Homecoming Queen,” Shauna
playfully teases, earning a well-meaning eye-roll from Jackie. She nods her head in mock
agreement and purses her lips, clearly fighting the urge to smile with her teeth. “Pretty sure that
automatically makes me New Jersey royalty too, or some shit.”

“Baby, I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey.”

“Oh, yeah? Is that right?” Jackie teases, flirtatiously raising her eyebrows up. Shauna shrugs her
shoulders and smiles widely, like a young and dumb, lovestruck kid. And, well. Jackie then closes
her mouth and studies Shauna’s face for a few moments, allowing a beat of silence to buzz between
their closely-knit bodies. Eventually, Jackie audibly swallows down a lump in her throat, before
parting her lips slightly. “So, hey. I kinda wanna talk to you about something, but I don't know how
to—”

“Jax! Do you wanna dip? I’ve got real booze! ”

Natalie.

Fuck.

Jackie automatically unloops her arms from Shauna’s neck and unceremoniously peers over her
shoulder, causing Shauna to balk in irritation. Like, of course, the one time that Jackie actually
attempts to initiate a conversation with Shauna, a half-drunk Natalie decides to butt into it. “I… um
—” Jackie cuts herself off, before swiveling her gaze back to Shauna. She sucks in a deep breath,
offering her a sympathetic frown.

And, well. Shauna refuses to let her go this time, opting to tighten her hold on Jackie's waist.
“Please. Don’t go with her,” Shauna pleads, eyes instinctively going slightly misty. Jackie gives
Shauna one more once over, before darting her enlargened eyes back over at Natalie. “Jax…
c’mon. I want to— let’s fix this. I miss you, and I love you so—”

“Yeah, sure. Sounds good, Nat!” Jackie shouts, right near Shauna’s ear. The sound reverberates in
Shauna’s brain, driving the words to clang around her skull like a live hand grenade. And then,
Jackie wrestles herself out of Shauna’s grip, before draping a tentative hand on her shoulder. She
suddenly leans in closer to Shauna, dropping her voice an octave. “We shouldn’t keep doing this.
We’re just… hurting ourselves more.”

“Ooh, the more I get of you, the stranger it feels. Yeah…”

Jackie pulls all the way back and pushes past a now frozen Shauna, swaying towards a cheery-eyed
Natalie. And, somehow, Shauna magically plucks the wherewithal to turn around out of thin air. A
dull ache reverberates through her chest as she watches Jackie willingly scamper off with Nat, for
probably the one-hundredth time this month.

And, of course, Jackie does something that makes Shauna’s heart sting about five hundred times
worse. Suddenly, Jackie decides to whirl around and gaze at Shauna, even though she and Natalie
have already made it halfway up the trail leading back to the cabin.

Her lips are pulled back into this thin line and her eyes are glimmering, almost like she is begging
Shauna to stop her. But, well. Shauna knows that she is probably imagining things, like fucking
usual. So, Shauna just shakes her head at Jackie and squeezes her eyes closed, searching for some
sort of emotional relief.

By the time Shauna reopens her weary eyes, Jackie and Natalie have disappeared into the depths of
the forest.

“And now that your rose is in bloom. A light hits the gloom on the grey…”
A slew of high-pitched giggles glides through the stale air, growing louder and more delusional
with each accompanying wheeze. The sound rolls around Shauna’s foggy brain like a marble,
effectively muffling out the clamor of her own, racing heartbeat.

She feels so incredibly weird, all of a sudden. Every square inch of her body is tingling, stirring her
to feel all light and airy inside. Shauna honestly thinks that she could float away at any given
moment, with the way her brain suddenly feels like a ball of delicate cotton. Like, legitimately all
of her insecurities and worries have vanished into thin air, leaving her to believe that her brain has
been scrubbed clean with some sort of sponge. Her vision has also gone slightly blurry at the
edges, causing her to begin seeing the world in double. She reaches a trembling hand out toward
the makeshift gong and brushes her fingertips against it, finding herself absolutely entranced by its
glossy sheen.

“Oh, my God…” Tai slurs, sounding about one hundred lightyears away. Van just keeps cackling
and wheezing away, almost like a broken record stuck on repeat. “What— what’s so funny?”

“No, no. I'm sorry!” Van breathlessly states, before breaking off into another fit of hysterical
laughter. Shauna instinctively whirls around to stare at them, which nearly causes her to trip over
her own feet. Her clouded gaze then drifts towards Tai, who is lackadaisically stretching her arms
into the air. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry!” Van repeats, stumbling back a bit. She squints her blown-up
pupils at Tai and grins, before jutting a finger in her direction. “You look like a tree! Like, a really
hot tree!” Van amends, which rips a light chuckle out of Tai’s throat. She continues to mindlessly
flail her arms around, even as Mari and Akilah begin studying her from afar. “Guys, doesn't Tai
look like a tree right now?”

“She kind of does…” Akilah trails off, squinting her eyes a bit. Her heavy head automatically tilts
to the side, while she attempts to get a better look at Tai.

Mari, on the other hand, has decided to tip her head completely backward. She is now gazing up at
the endless sea of green treetops, with a wide grin on her face. “Or… wait. Maybe the trees all look
like Taissa!” Mari earnestly states, encouraging all of the girls to chortle.

“I feel weird…” Javi suddenly murmurs, from his spot on the ground. Shauna glances over at him,
registering his pale face and the glazed-over look in his eyes.

Then, before Shauna can even think to check on Javi, Misty is clambering off of a nearby tree
stump. Her pupils are practically ballooning out of her eyes, while her lips and her chin are now
stained bright red from the berry booze. “Ben!” Misty then proclaims, before bumbling off into the
woods. Shauna watches Misty disappear, even as her heavy eyelids begin to flutter open and
closed, of their own accord.

Lottie then crumples to her knees out of legitimately nowhere, which inadvertently snaps Shauna
right out of her daze. She instinctively whirls around and swivels her gaze between the rest of the
girls, before training her drooping eyes on Lottie.

“Shhh…” Lottie whispers, while raking her fingernails through the soil beneath her. She is staring
straight off into the distance, with her ears perked up and her lips curled into a smirk. “Do you—
do you feel that?”

Akilah and Van instantaneously bob their heads up and down, before grinning at Lottie like she is
some sort of genius. “I think I— I think I do,” Van admits, right as she begins to twirl in place. She
stares up at the sky above with blown-out pupils, while Mari begins to blink down at her own
hands. Shauna’s bloodshot eyes haphazardly bounce around the circle, until Van clears her throat
and instantly recaptures her attention. “It’s like there’s energy… coming up from the ground.”
Lottie slowly pulls herself upright and glances around at the curtain of trees in front of her, before
dazedly gliding closer to Shauna. She rakes her eyes up and down Shauna’s body, studying her
closely. “Something's coming…” Lottie announces, with her gaze fixated on Shauna’s stomach. Her
darkened eyes then dart upwards, meeting Shauna’s foggy ones. And, well. Shauna’s stomach
instinctively twists and turns as Lottie continues to gaze at her, but she isn’t quite sure why. “We
won’t be hungry much longer.”

“I— what?” Shauna stammers out, while rubbing at her pounding temples. Lottie pointedly whips
her head around, then paces over to the dwindling firepit. She seems entirely uninterested in
furthering this discussion, much to Shauna’s chagrin and confusion. Like, Shauna’s mind is
legitimately whirling in circles, desperately trying and failing to come up with explanations for
Lottie’s weird-ass behavior. “Lot—”

A clammy hand suddenly squeezes the back of Shauna’s shoulder, which effectively stuns her into
silence. She whirls around and automatically gawks, after finding herself face-to-face with Travis
fucking Martinez. “Shauna,” Travis slurs, with his eyes sealed fully shut. He sways where he
stands, threatening to teeter over at any given moment. “Have you seen Natalie?”

“Not for a while. She… uh. She went back to the cabin… with Jackie,” Shauna hesitantly admits,
spurring her own stomach to drop. And, weirdly enough, Travis seems downright horrified by this
bit of information. His glazed-over eyes instantly flash open and his lips part ever so slightly,
leaving him to gape at Shauna in downright bewilderment.

“I’m gonna— gonna go get them,” Travis stammers, tossing a finger in the cabin’s general
direction. He audibly swallows and huffs out a deep breath, before clumsily stepping forward a
mere inch.

Travis immediately trips over his own feet, but Shauna is there to catch him way before he can
actually faceplant into the dirt beneath them. She levels him with a firm look and steadies his
trembling body, by planting her firm hands on his shoulders. “Stay here. I’ll get them,” Shauna
commands, spurring Travis to bob his head obediently. And, well. Shauna instinctively rolls her
eyes, right after loosening her grip on him. He almost tumbles down all over again, but manages to
catch himself at the last possible second. “You good?”

“Yeah… uh. Yeah. I just… I don’t know,” Travis grumbles, blinking his eyes open and closed.
Shauna just blankly stares back at Travis, while desperately attempting to ignore the fact that he
suddenly looks like he has four fucking eyes. “I feel… off.”

Shauna studies Travis’ face intently, taking in his dilated pupils and his pale complexion. “Right,
yeah. Just— just stay here. Drink some water. I’ll handle it,” Shauna murmurs, sounding almost as
unconfident as she currently feels. But, somehow, Travis doesn’t seem to notice the shaky lilt in
Shauna’s voice. His face splits into a dopey grin and he bobs his head, before tossing up a lame-ass
thumbs-up.

Once more, Shauna unabashedly rolls her glossy eyes in Travis’ face. She then shoulders her way
right past him, opting to skip the formalities and begin her short trek back to the cabin.

As Shauna slowly bumbles her way up the beaten pathway, she swears that she can feel Lottie’s
smoldering eyes on the back of her skull. But, instead of turning around and meeting Lottie’s gaze,
Shauna just continues to trudge her way up the trail. She figures that she is probably just imagining
things, anyways.

“You sure that this is a good idea? What about Shipman?”

Shauna has one Converse-covered foot firmly planted on the first rung of the attic ladder, but the
sound of Natalie’s scratchy voice instantly coerces her to tear it away. Her bloodshot eyes bulge
open and her red-tinted ears automatically perk up, upon hearing her own name spill from Natalie
fucking Scatorccio’s mouth. She then stumbles away from the rust-covered ladder in pure shock,
which results in her smashing her back up against a low-hanging shelf.

She bites down on her bottom lip super roughly, in a lackluster attempt to stifle a pitiful whine or
any other sounds that might alert Jackie to her presence. And, somehow, Shauna’s rather wimpy
strategy actually works. Jackie begins to beg and plead with Natalie, in a way that proves that she
is completely oblivious to Shauna’s actual location.

“What about her?” Jackie slurs, prompting Shauna’s heart to swoop right into her throat. It rattles
around the walls of her narrow esophagus, leaving bruises and bumps in its wake. But, of course,
an unbothered Jackie just continues to charge forward. “Y’know… I could ask you the same shit
about Trav. Do you not give a shit about him anymore, huh?”

Natalie lets out a resoundingly loud scoff, which slices through the crisp air like a sharpened knife.
It also spins around, within the confines of Shauna’s cotton-filled ear canals, like a broken and
scratched vinyl record. “Jax, c’mon. Travis was fun for a minute, but I’m over it. And, I’m not
blind. I know that there’s something actually goin’ on between you and Shauna. Love or some
shit…” Natalie trails off, sucking in a deep breath. And, well. Shauna’s heart thrashes like a wild
beast, while Natalie’s rugged voice continues to trickle into her ears. “And, fuck. Shauna’s like…
scary. I swear dude. I’m like, fucking terrified of her.”

“Whatever. I don’t even want to think about her right now,” Jackie proclaims, huffing like a
petulant child. Shauna then hears the faint sound of fabric ruffling, followed by a muffled thump.
And, fuck. Her heart instantly sinks into the pit of her sour stomach, right after Jackie delivers the
literal killing blow. “Jesus. Do you want to touch me… or not? You had no problems kissing me
five fucking seconds ago.”

Every ounce of calm instantly evaporates from Shauna’s fiery veins, the second that those words
spill from Jackie’s mouth. Her blood legitimately begins to boil and simmer, which inadvertently
drives her red-hot anger to burn a massive hole in the pit of her fucking stomach. And, well.
Shauna’s entire brain virtually shortcircuits, dissolving her better judgment and self-control into
matching piles of mottled goo.

Blood rushes to her head and seeps into her ears, right as she begins to storm her way up the creaky
ladder. The stairs squeak beneath her mud-coated sneakers, but Jackie and Natalie clearly cannot
hear them.

As soon as Shauna’s head bursts through the opening in the attic floor, her vision goes slightly
blurry and flashes of neon red begin to creep across her irises. But, well. Unfortunately, Shauna
still has front-row seats to the absolutely abhorrent scene, that is currently unfolding right before
her muddled eyes. Like, honestly, this just looks like an image ripped out of one of Shauna’s worst
fucking nightmares.

Natalie’s messy, bleach-blonde hair is haphazardly splayed across Shauna’s fucking pillow. She is
also laying right on top of Shauna’s flannel fucking blanket, without a care in the goddamn world.
And, to make matters even fucking worse, Jackie is straddling both of Natalie’s hips. The bodice of
her green dress is unzipped and pulled down, exposing her bra-clad chest to Natalie’s grimy
fucking hands. On the flip side, Jackie’s dainty hands are currently clutching onto both of Natalie’s
hollow cheeks. Her head is tipped downward and her red-stained lips are practically glued onto
Natalie’s, even as Natalie’s grubby-ass hands begin to drift lower.
And, well. As soon as Natalie’s hands find purchase on Jackie’s hips, Shauna basically loses her
entire fucking mind. “Jackie!” Shauna all but snarls, after clenching her hands into rock-hard fists.
Natalie’s eyes then flash open in a flourish, leaving her to blink right at Shauna’s tomato-red face.
But, of course, Jackie’s over-the-top reaction instantly overshadows the stupid look on Natalie’s
face. She chooses to acknowledge Shauna’s presence, by huffing out a pitiful and bewildered sigh.
“Oh, seriously? You really have nothing to say, Jax? How the fuck could you do this to me?”

Jackie rolls her hazel eyes and scoffs, before clambering out of Natalie’s lap. She sways in place
and frantically pulls up her dress, but is unable to zip it all the way back up. Her arms swoop
behind her back and wrestle around with the dress’ zipper, in a scene that is almost comical. “Fuck
off, Shauna. You’re such a hypocrite. Why are you allowed to screw whoever the fuck you want,
but I’m not?” Jackie spits, plastering on a sharp look of defiance. Her eyebrows narrow and her jaw
clenches, right as Natalie begins to clumsily scramble to her feet.

“Look, Shipman…” Natalie calmly says, raising her hands up in mock defeat. Natalie then inches
her way closer to Shauna, shuffling forward all reluctantly. And, well. Somehow, Natalie’s sudden
bout of skittishness, just makes Shauna even angrier. “I didn’t wanna start anything with you. I was
just—”

“No, Natalie. We do not owe her an apology!” Jackie angrily slurs, before ungracefully stumbling
forward. She darts in front of Natalie’s trembling body and then inches a bit closer to Shauna’s
heaving chest, effectively sandwiching her lethargic frame right between the pair of rival parties.
“Shauna…” Jackie trails off, tipping her wobbly body forward. She teeters closer to Shauna’s
frame, allowing her to jut a pointy finger right into Shauna’s sternum. “We are over. I can do
whatever the fuck I want. Just like you do, all the fucking time!” Jackie accuses, spitting those
sharp words right at Shauna’s glowering face. She then pushes her body even closer to Shauna’s,
forcing their chests to brush and their heated breaths to intermingle.

With blurry eyes and a broken heart, Shauna finally scrounges up the willpower to actually analyze
Jackie’s flushed face. And, well. Her light brown hair is a mess, her cheeks are a ruddy-red color,
and her pupils are dilated to an almost alarming degree. In a matter of seconds, Shauna’s synapses
finally click into place, allowing her to jam all of the shitty puzzle pieces together. Her eyes flash
with horror and anger, right before she narrows them straight at Natalie.

“You seriously got her high?” Shauna all but wails, verging on hysterical. And, of course, Natalie’s
jaw just drops. She gapes at Shauna and scoffs, right before tottering back an inch. “Nothing to say,
huh?” Shauna rasps, while attempting to inch closer to Natalie. But, unfortunately, Jackie refuses
to budge. She tenses her body and holds her ground, directly challenging Shauna’s all-consuming
rage. “Listen here, Nat. If you ever even look in my girlfriend’s direction again, I swear I’ll—”

Jackie swiftly swings her hand back and slaps Shauna across the shoulder, which instantly compels
her to choke back the rest of her words. Her blurry eyes then swivel away from Natalie’s flustered
face, just so that she can gawk at Jackie in pure shock. “Shut up, Shauna! Stop acting like you give
a single shit about me. I’m not stupid. I know that you don’t. I know that you fucked—”

A crazed cacophony of delirious whoops and hysterical howls suddenly rings from outside,
spurring Jackie to cut herself off. She dramatically snaps her mouth shut and glances over her own
shoulder, raising an inquisitive eyebrow at Natalie. Unsurprisingly, Natalie quickly opts to answer
Jackie’s unspoken question, by lamely shrugging her shoulders up.

And, well. Instead of resuming her verbal assault on Natalie, Shauna begins to stew in her own
bewilderment. Her blurry eyes frantically zip all across Jackie’s flushed face, desperately searching
for some much-needed answers. Like, honestly, Shauna’s head is spinning and whirling with an
assortment of questions. What was Jackie going to say, right before she cut herself off? Why would
Jackie ever hook up with Natalie? How could Jackie even think do this to her?

Before Shauna can even think to raise any of those questions aloud, Jackie is practically marching
towards the cracked attic window. She clutches onto its splintering frame and glides her gaze
downward, spotting something that makes her eyes nervously flicker. “Come— come on. Let’s all
go downstairs,” Jackie breathes out, sounding a bit frantic. She rushes across the room and
virtually slides down the attic ladder, without sparing Shauna or Natalie so much as a glance.

Instead of immediately chasing after Jackie, Natalie and Shauna reluctantly twist around and face
each other. They share a downright dumbfounded look, gawking between each other and the empty
ladder, with matching frowns on their faces. But, thanks to her newfound hatred for all things
Natalie, Shauna breaks the spell fairly fast. She rolls her eyes and shoots Natalie a death glare,
even as she begins to tromp her way down the rusty ladder. And, much to Shauna’s annoyance,
Natalie is quick to mimic her fucking behavior. She hops onto the ladder and sways her way down
all of the rungs, before joining Shauna in the dusty pantry.

And, well. In a surprising twist of fate, Shauna decides to be responsible. She doesn’t throw a
punch at Natalie or rush after Jackie, although she wants to do both. Instead, Shauna pauses and
recalibrates, feverishly rubbing at her blurry eyes. She then sucks in a slew of shaky breaths, in a
desperate attempt to snuff out her fiery anger. And, at first, Shauna does a really great job at
controlling herself and her rage. She stays calm, cool, and collected… until she hears the
unmistakable sound of Lottie’s gravelly voice.

“What were you and Natalie doing up there? Huh, Jackie?”

It’s the worst question in the entire world, but it somehow triggers Shauna’s brain to shift into
auto-pilot mode. She stumbles into the living room, with as much grace as a drunken sailor. Her
body is suddenly radiating heat, causing beads upon beads of sweat to drip right off of her. Her
head is spinning like a top, which renders her vision virtually useless. Everything looks weirdly
vibrant and three-dimensional, almost like she is peering into one of her grandma’s kaleidoscopes.

But, well. Somehow, the rest of the Yellowjackets look even more disheveled and dazed, than
Shauna currently does. Mari is covered head-to-toe, in a medley of dirt stains. Tai’s jaw is clenched
and her chest is heaving, to an almost concerning degree. Van seems slightly out of breath too, if
the way she alternates between panting and gasping, is of any indication. Travis is staring off into
space, with a doe-eyed look on his face. Akilah, on the other hand, is frowning right at Jackie’s
bewildered face.

And, last but certainly not least, Lottie is basically towering over Jackie. She is standing right in
front of her, with her eyebrows narrowed and her fists clenched at her sides. Jackie just crosses her
arms over her chest and huffs out a sigh, inadvertently blowing a stray hair out of her face. “Last
time I checked, what I do is none of your fucking business!” Jackie basically wails, before
untangling her arms. She then plants her palms onto Lottie’s chest and attempts to shove her
backward, to absolutely no avail.

Lottie steels up and stands her ground, before plastering on this diabolical smirk. And, well.
Shauna attempts to wedge her way in between Jackie and Lottie, but Tai grabs her by the forearm
and practically wrings her backward. She pulls Shauna flush against her chest, right before she
decides to unceremoniously butt her way into Jackie and Lottie’s messy dispute. “How could you
do this to Shauna?” Tai all but growls, tightening her grip on Shauna’s body. She sinks her nails
into Shauna’s forearms and huffs out a series of serrated sighs, before she starts to unabashedly
shoot daggers straight at Jackie.
And, of course, Jackie then immediately snaps at Shauna. She plasters on a deep scowl and glances
over Lottie’s shoulder, which allows her to successfully catch Shauna’s glossy gaze. “What did you
tell them, Shauna?” Jackie challenges, while narrowing her hazel eyes at Shauna’s frown.
Ironically enough, Jackie’s words stir Shauna’s rage to simmer and boil, all over again. “That this
all my fault? That I’m some kind of evil bitch?”

Pools of blood must be cascading down the living room walls, because all Shauna can see is red.
She wrestles her way out of Tai’s hold and glares at Jackie, right as Natalie finally decides to creep
her way out of the pantry. “Nothing. I didn’t tell them shit,” Shauna fires back, staring at Jackie
intently. Jackie continues to maintain direct eye contact with Shauna, up until the moment that
Lottie practically lunges at her.

“What did you guys do?” Lottie repeats, swiveling her darkened eyes between Natalie and Jackie.
She then reaches for one of the loosened straps on Jackie’s dress, but her hand is immediately
swatted away by Natalie. And, well. Natalie’s reaction must prove all of Lottie’s theories right,
because her face then splits into this absolutely shit-eating grin. “I knew it.”

“Yeah? Fuck off, Lot!” Natalie barks, before stepping right in front of Jackie. She narrows her eyes
and inches closer to Lottie, wagging a finger in front of her face. “Why don’t you stay out of other
people’s—”

“Wait…” Travis suddenly proclaims, prompting Natalie’s mouth to snap shut. She reluctantly
glances over at him, just like all of the other girls do. And, weirdly enough, Travis begins to gaze
around the cabin in barely contained awe. His mouth droops open and his eyes bulge wider, while
he dazedly stares at the fucking couch. “None us are actually here, though. Are we?”

“What the fսck is up with you?” Natalie inquires, studying Travis intently. And, well. He stays
silent and scans the cabin with his gooey eyes, behaving like it’s an art piece worthy of appraisal.
Like, Travis looks so fucking ridiculous, that even Lottie seems intrigued by his behavior. She
pushes Natalie out of her way and inches closer to him, right as Natalie begins to frantically wave
her hands into the air. “Travis? Hello?”

Lottie ignores Natalie’s cries and catches Travis’ hand, inspecting it curiously. Shauna’s head spins
as she watches the eerie exchange from afar, in an almost trance-like state. Her mouth goes dry and
her chest begins to tighten, right as Lottie places a hand on Travis’ cheek. Shauna holds her breath
and prepares for impact, by squeezing her eyes shut and clenching her fists at her sides.

It’s only when Lottie suddenly leans in closer and kisses Travis roughly, that all hell really breaks
loose.

For some reason, everything begins to sound both obscenely loud and cotton-dulled, within
Shauna’s pulsating ears. Like, Shauna can hardly even hear Jackie screaming at her, over the blood
rushing through her temples. “You’re seriously just gonna stand there?” Jackie snarls, staring at
Shauna all expectantly. She waves a hand toward Travis and Lottie, who are still going at it. Of
course, Natalie then tries to lunge at Lottie in anguish, but she is instantly bodychecked out of the
way by Mari. And, well. For whatever reason, Jackie is still abusing Shauna with her sharpened
eyes. “Shauna! Do something!”

Shauna’s eyes bounce around the living room, checking to see if the walls are actually closing in
on her or if she is just losing her mind. In the hazy distance, Shauna notices Lottie’s darkened gaze
on her. She whips her lips away from Travis’ face and lets her hand slip from his cheek, while
maintaining eye contact with Shauna.

Like a moth drawn to a flame, Shauna instinctively stumbles toward Lottie. She immediately places
a guiding hand on Shauna’s lower back, sinking her crooked nails into the lace fabric of her dress.
Shauna instinctively glances up at her, cloudy eyes wide with confusion.

Her vision is blurred around the edges, warping Lottie’s facial features to an extensive degree.
Lottie currently looks like she has two heads, but Shauna still registers the jerky motion of her
bobbing them up and down. A wicked grin suddenly creeps its way onto Lottie’s flushed face, but
Shauna isn’t granted the opportunity to examine it for very long. Right as Shauna tilts her head to
the side and begins to lazily blink, Lottie unceremoniously shoves her into Travis’ sweat-soaked
body.

She gazes between Travis and Shauna with darkened eyes, before leaning closer to Shauna’s ear.
Lottie’s breath is hot and prickly against the side of Shauna’s neck, even as she whispers right into
the shell of Shauna’s ear. “They want you to do this. They don’t like Jackie or Natalie…” Lottie
seriously states, compelling Shauna’s chest to constrict just a little bit. She instinctively shoots
Jackie a sidelong glance, finding her already staring back. Her wide eyes bore into Shauna’s soul,
while Lottie keeps rambling onward. “You have to do this, Shauna. We all have to do this, or else
none of us get to eat.”

Lottie abruptly whips her head back, leveling Shauna with narrowed brows and a sinister smirk.
And, well. The menacing look on Lottie’s face, combined with the gravity of her harsh words, is
enough to egg Shauna on. She clumsily reaches her hand out, planting a shaky palm on Travis’
face. A hardened lump begins to scrape against the walls of Shauna’s throat, right after she leans in
and smushes her lips against Travis’ mouth.

It’s almost like Shauna has just smacked her hand against the launch button on a nuclear war
missile, with the way the entire room instantaneously erupts into pure chaos. She keeps her lips
locked on Travis’ and cracks an eye open, peeking around the hazy room.

Jackie’s lips are moving at a feverish pace, but Shauna can barely even hear what she is saying.
“Shauna! Hey!” Jackie wails, on the verge of tears. Shauna’s head spins and her ears ring, snuffing
out the frantic tone that is currently seeping into Jackie’s raspy voice. “Stop! Shauna, stop!” Jackie
squawks, while rushing forward. And, well. Even though her vision is foggy and her brain
currently feels like a wad of cotton, Shauna still manages to detect the panicked look on Jackie’s
face. She immediately wrings her lips off of Travis’ mouth, right as she notices Jackie’s hand
inching closer to her shoulder. “Shauna. We need to get the fuck out of—”

Before Jackie can lean in a bit closer and grab Shauna by the shoulder, Lottie pushes Jackie
backward. She slips and stumbles right into Natalie, who is currently gazing at Lottie with
pleading eyes. “Lot…” Natalie murmurs, while Jackie regains her footing. She clenches her fists
and inches closer to Lottie, even as Natalie continues to blab on and on. “Look, no hard feelings…
right? We’re all friends around here… y’know? So, why don’t we all just calm—”

“Jackie. You took something that doesn't belong to you,” Lottie deadpans, tearing a scoff out of
Jackie’s throat. She recklessly rolls her eyes, even as Lottie stalks closer to her. Shauna
automatically attempts to stumble her way over to Jackie, but her efforts are immediately thwarted
by Mari. She steps in Shauna’s path and shoots her a crazy grin, while Lottie continues to dish out
reprimands. “Natalie. You offended the spirits by—”

A flurry of disbelieving chuckles bursts from Jackie’s throat, cutting Lottie right off. Lottie then
shoots Jackie a death glare, which apparently spurs Van to sidle up behind her. “Oh, sure! Like the
fucking spirits give a shit that we made out in the attic!” Jackie snaps, thrashing her head from side
to side. Once more, Shauna attempts to bumble her way over to Jackie, but Akilah and Mari both
shove her back. Her vision then blurs even further, warping Akilah and Mari’s frowns into
maniacal grins. “Give the dead guy my sincerest apologies!”

“This has nothing to do with that,” Lottie fires back, before peering over at Van. And, weirdly
enough, Van instinctively nods her head in tacit understanding. Both girls then begin to prowl
closer to Natalie and Jackie, cornering them right into the doorway to the pantry. “Don’t you
understand, Jackie?” Lottie growls, tilting her head to the side. She then plasters a fake frown onto
her face, just so that she can peer at Jackie like she’s some upset child. “You don’t matter
anymore.”

Before Jackie can even think of a comeback for that ruthless comment, Lottie is thrusting her arms
into the air and pushing her right into the pantry. Van mirrors Lottie’s behavior and shoves Natalie
in next, sending her tumbling to the dust-covered floor. And then, Lottie grins triumphantly and
slams the door closed, before deadbolting it shut.

In a matter of seconds, Jackie and Natalie both begin to pound their fists against the thin door. The
deafening racket creeps into Shauna’s eardrums, which just causes them to relentlessly throb. Her
head begins to pound and the room suddenly looks like it is actually spinning, but Shauna can still
make out the distinct sound of Jackie’s voice.

“Shauna! Open the fucking door!” Jackie cries, banging her fists even harder. And, well. Now that
Mari and Akilah are taking turns kissing Travis, Shauna’s pathway to the pantry is finally cleared.
She blinks her eyes and slowly shuffles forward, clinging to the wall to keep herself upright. But, of
course, Shauna doesn’t actually make it very far. Lottie suddenly strolls up to her and shoots her an
eerie smile, while Jackie continues to scream bloody fucking murder. “Babe. Open the fucking
door!”

Lottie grabs Shauna by the shoulders and squeezes them roughly, using the leverage to rock
Shauna’s entire body back and forth. “Shauna… don’t you remember what I said?” Lottie asks,
raising an inquisitive eyebrow. Shauna instinctively nods her head, even though Lottie’s previous
words have already drowned in the depths of her massive brain fog. But, well. Lottie seems
thoroughly convinced by Shauna’s lazy head jerk. “Good. Leave them in there and come with me,”
Lottie then murmurs, loosening her hold on Shauna’s shoulders. Her grin grows wider and she
extends out a hand, which Shauna reluctantly takes.

She then tugs Shauna back towards the fireplace, where Travis is now strapped to a fucking chair.
Shauna blinks down at him in confusion, right as Van and Tai slip out of the cabin’s front door.
And then, Mari and Akilah shove Shauna to the side, just so that they can have their way with
Travis.

Shauna’s eyes slip open and closed, catching faint glimpses of the scene unfolding in front of her.
Mari tears off Travis’ shirt, while Akilah begins to bite and suck at his neck. Lottie drops Shauna’s
hand and steps in front of her, before leaning in and kissing Travis on the lips. Jackie and Natalie’s
muffled cries continue to flood Shauna’s eardrums, smothering every other noise that fills the air.
Vibrant colors and three-dimensional objects fill Shauna’s vision, obscuring everything that she
sees. Her brain has completely short-circuited, leaving her to function on auto-pilot.

And, well. At this point, Shauna honestly can’t tell what is real and what isn’t.

“What the fսck!”

In a cruel twist of fate, the desperation in Natalie’s husky voice wields enough power to finally
snap Shauna, right out of her trance-like state. She blinks her eyes open and closed, brushing the
fog right out of them. And, well. The sight now resting right before Shauna’s tired eyes, is truly
unfathomable.

Travis is staring back at her, with horrifyingly wide eyes. There’s a prickly pine cone stuffed
between his lips, silencing all of his frantic cries and desperate pleas. A thick rope is looped
around his arms, bounding him to the bark of a withering, old tree. And, well. Shauna instantly
shifts her gaze downward, once she notices a speck of silver, glimmering from the sweaty expanse
of his neck.

There’s a sharpened knife blade kissing the column of his throat, threatening to bite into smooth
and tan skin. Shauna’s eyes drift even lower and then instinctively widen, once she realizes that her
hand is currently wrapped around the knife’s rusty handle.

Her heart beats faster and faster, thudding against the walls of her chest. Shauna’s brain also
begins to whirl back to life, pushing her to piece together the timeline of this horrific night. She
automatically stumbles back in shock and shame, as Natalie comes barrelling over.

“Stop!” Natalie wails, sprinting closer and closer. She almost trips over a fallen tree log, but she
still manages to get to Travis pretty fucking fast. Naturally, Natalie then shoves Shauna to the side,
in order to get a closer look at Travis. “Hey! Travis, are you— are you ok?” Natalie asks, clearly in
a panic. He spits the pine cone out and hacks out several coughs, right as Natalie begins to work
away at the rope’s knots.

Shauna tears her eyes away from Natalie and Travis, allowing her gaze to drift to the side. And, of
course, Shauna instantly catches sight of Jackie. Her face is this ghastly shade of white, while her
eyes are blown wider than a pair of matching saucers. She is staring at Shauna with her lips slightly
parted and her eyebrows fully furrowed, stirring Shauna’s hand to tingle.

“Jac— Jackie,” Shauna stammers, studying Jackie intently. She looks beyond shaken up, which
causes Shauna’s heart to plummet straight to the mud-covered, forest floor. Shauna’s hands begin
to shake erratically, driving the knife to slip from her fingertips. “I— I didn’t—”

“Nat!” Jackie screams, rushing closer to her. Her chest is heaving and her voice is cracking, but
Jackie still manages to scream and shout. “The knife! The knife!”

Shauna spins around and darts her gaze downward, right as Natalie and Lottie both begin to lunge
for the blade. Natalie manages to get a grip on the handle way before Lottie can, allowing her to
scramble back to her feet with the offensive weapon. She thrusts it at Lottie and then whirls
around, catching a brief glimpse of Travis. Unsurprisingly, Travis is now battering his way through
a cluster of thick trees, with as much grace as a freight train.

“It's in all of us, you know…” Lottie murmurs, pulling herself upright. Natalie swivels her gaze
back around, plastering on a scowl. And, of course, Lottie answers back by pressing her forehead
right against Natalie’s. She smirks, studying Natalie’s hardened face with a wild look in her eyes.
“Even him. Even you.”

Natalie thrusts her empty hand up, shoving Lottie roughly. She immediately tumbles to the dirt-
drenched ground, falling back onto her ass with a loud thud. Her headpiece slips off of her skull
from the impact, flying to the forest floor with another thunk. Lottie scrambles onto her elbows,
clearly unbothered by the blood on her knees and the dirt caked into her white dress.

And, unsurprisingly, Natalie also seems entirely unruffled by Lottie’s messy appearance. She
thrusts the knife back in Lottie’s direction, while furiously rubbing at her red-rimmed eyes. “That's
enough of your weird fսcking bullshit, Lottie!” Natalie then roars, her voice quivering just a little
bit. Instead of actually responding, Lottie chooses to keel over and wheeze out a slew of maniacal
 giggles. Her deranged chuckles grate against the inside of Shauna’s eardrums, stirring her head to
pound and pulsate, all over again. And, of course, the sound of Natalie’s gravelly voice increases
the tension within Shauna’s skull. “Haven't you done enough?”

Lottie continues to huff out chuckle after chuckle, provoking tears to accumulate at the edges of her
drooping eyelids. Natalie’s shaky grip instinctively tightens on the knife, right as Lottie begins to
pound her fists against the ground. Her laughter picks up in speed and volume, which stirs Natalie
to shake her head and stomp off into the woods.

As soon as Natalie disappears behind the shadow of a massive tree, Shauna swivels her attention
back to Jackie. Her back is ramrod straight, shooting into the air like a stiff plank of wood. Her
arms are crossed firmly over her chest, allowing her nails to bite into the skin of her forearms. A
crooked frown is etched into her face, cutting right into her pink-tinted cheeks. Her glossy eyes are
trained on Shauna’s face, but they are laden with worry and fright.

Shauna sucks in shaky breath after shaky breath, even as Lottie’s deranged laughter continues to
echo in her eardrums. The sound taunts her, spurring her to clench her fists at her sides. She shakes
her head and squeezes her eyes shut, willing herself not to cry. Her stomach is currently twisting
and turning, tying up knots of anxiety and dread.

Somehow, tonight has been the worst night of Shauna’s life, even though she hardly remembers
any of it.

Chapter End Notes

sorry this took 900000 years i rlly struggled with this one and getting used to being
back at school def slowed my ass down fr. writing drug sequences where the
characters don't even know they've been drugged was so hard for some reason too. im
hoping to get the next chapter out way quicker.

coming up next: shauna and jackie's big fight dun dun dun
 sic transit gloria mundi
Chapter Summary

“Oh, right. Just like you chose to treat me like a fucking side-piece, all goddamn year.
Do you think that I enjoyed being relegated to quickies in party bathrooms? Do you
think that I liked watching Jeff feel you up, at every fucking event? Huh, Jackie?”
Shauna roars, which spurs Jackie to shudder. She squeezes her eyes shut, while
Shauna rattles on like a broken record. “You know, you never even bothered to ask me
how I was feeling or if I was ok with sneaking around. And, you never actually asked
me if I wanted to go to Rutgers, either. You just assumed that I’d go along with
whatever the fuck you wanted. It’s like I’m an extra in the movie that is your fucking
life, and I am so sick of it!”

Or: Jackie turns into an ice pop because Shauna is an idiot with communication
problems.

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

October 14th, 1996

“Hey. I— uh. I boiled some drinking water,” Coach Scott murmurs, while spooning some water
into a few rusty cans. He glances up at Shauna and offers her a faint smile, before thrusting an
overflowing can in Tai’s direction. “Figured you guys might be as hungover as I am.”

Shauna rubs at her throbbing temples and gradually shuffles closer to the fire pit, all begrudgingly.
She drags her dirt-caked Converse across the leaf-coated forest floor, while desperately attempting
to stifle the bile threatening to shoot up her throat. Her head keeps pounding and her stomach keeps
churning, almost like she is currently battling against the most brutal hangover of the century. But,
well. Shauna thinks it’s weird that she woke up feeling super shitty and downright dazed,
especially since she spent all of Doomcoming stone-cold fucking sober. Her throat is currently
drier and scratchier than a pile of coarse sand, her entire body aches, and her mud-covered legs
feel all lethargic and jelly-like. Like, Shauna purposely abstained from drinking Mari’s berry
booze, just to protect this stupid fucking baby and avoid any health problems. And, of course, she
still somehow feels like she’s been hit by a high-speed train.

She nibbles at her chapped lip and then glances over her shoulder, establishing direct eye contact
with Lottie. And, well. A sharp chill instantly shoots up Shauna’s spine, at the mere sight of Lottie.
Her white dress— the one that she plucked right out of Laura Lee’s little plaid suitcase— is littered
with dirt stains and bright red droplets. Shauna’s weary eyes automatically gravitate downward,
before fixating on Lottie’s blood-covered knees. In a matter of seconds, a slew of vivid memories
from the night prior begins to flash through the forefront of Shauna’s hazy mind. She explicitly
remembers a few things from earlier on in the evening, like dancing with Jackie and forcing Jackie
to eat. And, unfortunately, Shauna even remembers walking in on Jackie and Natalie’s romp in the
fucking attic. Shauna can still picture Natalie’s hair on her pillow, Natalie’s hands on Jackie’s
chest, Natalie’s lips on Jackie’s mouth. Her blood instantaneously boils to an almost scalding
degree, in response to the downright horrific memory.
Shauna rubs at her foggy eyes so hard that she sees stars, then reluctantly peeks through her
fingertips. She clears her hoarse throat and catches Tai’s eyes, before asking the most dangerous
question in the entire world. “Has anyone seen Jackie?” Shauna reluctantly mumbles, while
glancing between her lifeless teammates. Tai shrugs her shoulders up and Lottie huffs out a vicious
scoff, while Van visibly winces and hesitantly cocks her head toward the cabin.

And, of course, Shauna instinctively tracks the somewhat jerky and incredibly awkward gesture.
She whips her palm away from her sweaty face, before allowing her foggy eyes to swivel toward
the front doorway. Guilt automatically pools in Shauna’s lower stomach, compelling her heart to
instantly stutter to a complete stop.

Jackie is leaning against the splintering door frame, with her arms crossed over her chest and her
jaw tightly clenched. Her eyes are sharp and her gaze is cold, but she refuses to look anywhere
other than Shauna’s rapidly paling face.

“I have nothing to say to you,” Jackie venomously spits, before puffing out this exasperated scoff.
Shauna squeezes the handle of the knife in her hand even tighter, forcing her knuckles to contort
into this ghastly shade of white. She also allows her lips to part just a fraction, but Jackie shuts her
up way before she can actually speak. Jackie abruptly tears her piercing eyes away from Shauna’s
face, just so she can glare at all of the other Yellowjackets. “Actually, y’know what? I have nothing
to say to any of you, honestly…” Jackie trails off, shaking her head. She wheezes out this forced
chuckle, before hugging herself even closer. “I mean, what the fսck? You guys tried to—”

“Yeah, like you're so innocent,” Mari suddenly counters, prompting Shauna to roll her eyes. She
then shoots Mari a death glare and digs her fingernails into the knife’s handle, while images of
Jackie and Natalie begin to swirl through her mind. And, of course, Mari just scoffs in Shauna’s
face and frivolously tosses herself down onto a tree log. “You’re such a hypocrite.”

“I’ll take being a fucking hypocrite, over being a literal psychopath!” Jackie all but growls, which
earns an assortment of disgruntled scoffs and irritated sighs. But, well. Unsurprisingly, Jackie is
way too stubborn and headstrong, to be deterred by their pessimistic teammates. She completely
ignores the flat looks on the rest of the Yellowjackets’ faces, opting to cock her chin into the air
and march right onto the porch. Jackie then sidles up beside Misty, before launching into yet
another haughty diatribe. “I'm not the one who went completely fսcking insane last night! I’m not
the one who decided to hold a knife to—”

“Right…” Van sneers, even as Shauna begins to involuntarily shiver. She squeezes her eyes shut
and nibbles at the inside of her cheek, while fuzzy flashes of Travis and the knife begin to burst
behind her eyelids. Fuck. “Did you have fun screwing Natalie last night, Jackie?”

Shauna’s eyes immediately fly open in a flourish, allowing her to catch a glimpse of the sour look
currently etched onto Jackie’s red-tinted face. She sputters indignantly and thrusts a finger in Van’s
direction, while Coach Scott shakes his head and rubs at his temples in disbelief. “Whoa… hey,”
Coach Scott placatingly states, clearly attempting to defuse the tension. Jackie rolls her hazel eyes,
but she continues to keep them firmly locked on Van. Coach Scott must notice their silent stand
off, because he suddenly decides to shift gears. “Look, ladies. I'm sure that we all said and did
some stuff that we regret last night on account of the shrooms…” Coach Scott announces, while
glancing around the circle. And, of course, Jackie finally tears her eyes off of Van. She blinks at
Coach Scott in clear-cut astonishment, while the rest of the girls begin to whisper and gawk in
muddled confusion. “So, I think that the best thing for us to do is just…”

“Wait, wait. Shrooms?” Shauna reiterates, before scrubbing her hand over her sweaty forehead.
Coach Scott nods, then cocks his head in Misty’s general direction. And, well. Shauna’s chest
begins to tighten at the mere sight of Misty, forcing her to wheeze and gasp for some fresh air. She
glares at the frizzy-haired girl and shakes her head, in a desperate attempt to repress her smoldering
rage. Like, of course, this is all Misty fucking Quigley’s fault.

“Okay, yeah…” Van trails off, with a sigh. She bites her lip and glances over at Tai, who is
currently shaking her head in aggravation. “That makes sense.”

“The fucking broth…” Tai mumbles, sliding her palms over her eyes. She rubs at them angrily,
while Misty begins to sniffle and re-adjust her eyeglasses. In a matter of seconds, Misty’s
despondent snorts seem to snap Tai out of her stupor. She tears her hands away from her face and
shoots Misty a death glare, effectively launching daggers in her general direction. “Jesus Christ.”

Misty plasters on a frown and droops her head toward the ground, cowering like a puppy that has
just been scolded. But, unsurprisingly, Mari’s rage rains down on Misty’s pity party fairly quickly.
“You drսgged us?” Mari accuses, spurring Misty to shoot up like a rocket. She jumps to her feet
and shoves Jackie right out of her way, before inching her way down one singular stair.

“No. I— I didn't!” Misty stammers out, while shoving her hands onto her hips. She furrows her
brows and glowers in Mari’s direction, which tears a bewildered gasp from the back of Coach
Scott’s throat. And, well. Miraculously enough, that sound spurs Misty’s scowl to falter. She sucks
in a deep breath and bows her head downward, with a thin frown. “Okay, yeah. It was an accident.
They were meant for Ben.”

Mari audibly gasps in response to the revelation, while Coach Scott begins to shudder in equal
parts horror and dismay. “Oh my God…” Mari whines, glancing between Coach Scott’s sour
pucker and Misty’s beady eyes. She wheezes out a snarky chuckle and raises a brow, before
narrowing her eyes right at Misty. “Do you have any idea how crazy you are?”

In a matter of seconds, Misty legitimately snaps like a wild animal and verbally pounces on Mari.
“They were my mushrooms!” Misty wails, prompting her eyes to bulge right out of their sockets.
And, well. Shauna winces and recoils at the shrillness of Misty’s voice, then attempts to rub the
ringing sound out of her ears. But, of course, Misty refuses to offer Shauna any semblance of
serenity. Her veins pop out of her forehead and her cheeks contort into this horrific shade of red,
right as she begins to screech and squawk even louder. “And you stole them to put them in your
stupid soup! Besides…” Misty trails off, before jutting a finger in Coach Scott’s direction. She
fakes a sniffle, while fluttering her eyes open and closed. “None of this would have even happened
if he didn’t trick me into falling in love with him!”

Coach Scott swivels around on the tree log that he has been sitting on so fucking fast, that he nearly
topples right off of it. He gawks at Misty and shakes his head, while the rest of the Yellowjackets
groan and snort in mutual annoyance. “Oh, Misty. Would you—”

“Wait. Stop!” Lottie suddenly declares, spurring the entire group to gradually quiet down. Shauna
instinctively spins around and glances right at Lottie, finding her staring intently at some random
stretch of bushes. She follows Lottie’s line of vision and stares at an assortment of wilting leaves,
right as they begin to rustle a bit. A few crinkling sounds cut into the foreboding silence, which
apparently spurs Lottie to creep even closer to the motley of trembling leaves. “Do you hear that?”

Before Shauna can even think of anything to say, her heart catches in her throat and her stomach
sinks to the forest floor. In a matter of seconds, an enormous bear claws its way through the thick
shrubbery. It huffs out a series of deep pants, before scampering right into the clearing. And, well.
Shauna stares at it for approximately a millisecond, then instantaneously bolts onto the porch. A
majority of the Yellowjackets mirror her behavior and back-peddle up the dilapidated porch steps,
while huffing out frantic gasps and nervous whines. Lottie, on the other hand, hesitantly inches
backward and keeps her eyes trained on the wild beast.

“Oh, God. Oh, my God!” Mari cries, as the bear inches even closer to the porch. She tucks her
head into the crook of Akilah’s neck, which effectively muffles a majority of her cries. Shauna
automatically squeezes her eyes shut and cowers against the wall, until Jackie snags her by the
wrist. She pulls Shauna toward her chest, before wrapping her trembling arms around Shauna’s
waist. “Someone… do something!”

“Okay! All right!” Coach Scott murmurs, before raising his hands up into the air. He thrusts one
palm in Mari’s general direction, while gazing at the bear’s matted fur. “Everyone! Stay calm.”

“How the fսck are we supposed to do that?” Van spits, earning an exasperated sigh from Coach
Scott. And, ironically enough, the sound is instantly drowned out by a string of harsh growls.

“Who— who has the gun?” Tai manages to stutter out, before allowing her wide eyes to bounce
around the porch. She then stares directly at Van, who offers up a pitiful frown and a dejected
shrug. “Where the fuck is the gun?”

“Natalie has it. And, uh. She left…” Akilah trails off, before abruptly pausing. She swivels her
head around and glances right at Jackie, before delivering her final words. “With Travis.”

Jackie rolls her eyes and shakes her head, before clutching onto Shauna even tighter. She sinks her
nails into Shauna’s hips and then attempts to use her rough grip, to guide Shauna right through the
front door of the cabin. But, well. Shauna’s body automatically steels up, right as Lottie spins
around and thrusts her open palm in Shauna’s general direction.

“Shauna…” Lottie calmly states, while wiggling her fingers all expectantly. Shauna raises an
eyebrow, before wrestling her way out of Jackie’s grasp. She ignores Jackie’s disappointed sigh
and tip-toes closer to Lottie, who is now beaming right at her. “Give me the knife.”

Shauna plants the rust-covered blade right into Lottie’s awaiting palm, which urges Van to take a
tentative step forward. “Hey… Lot,” Van nervously mumbles, while glancing between Lottie’s
stern face and the enormous bear. And, well. Lottie plasters on a thin smile, opting to focus all of
her attention on wrapping her blood-covered fingers around the handle of the knife. “Don’t— don’t
go near it. Lottie, come on!” Van gasps, right as Lottie begins to shuffle closer and closer to the
brown bear. She then raises an eyebrow at Van and thrusts a finger over her mouth, which
somehow shuts Van right up.

And then, Lottie nibbles at her lip and waddles forward, while holding the knife out in front of her.
The bear kneads its oversized paws against the mud-covered ground, leaving massive scratch
marks and clumps of mottled soil in its wake. It then grunts out a low growl, which elicits a
cacophony of anxious gasps and nervous gulps from the Yellowjackets. But, well. Even though
Shauna currently feels like she might actually have a fucking heart attack, Lottie appears entirely
unruffled by the bear’s ferocious bellowing.

“Shh…” Lottie hums, while gazing at the bear with soft eyes. It grunts, puffing out a gust of air
that sends a few strands of Lottie’s hair flying. She is now standing right in front of the wild beast,
with her head tipped to the side and her arm extended straight into the air. And, well. Shauna’s
stomach swirls, right as the bear begins to huff out a bluster of shaky growls. The bear then
gradually pads its way even closer to Lottie and just… lays down?

Before Shauna can even attempt to catch her breath or calm her erratic heartbeat, Lottie swings her
arm downward. The knife punctures a portion of the bear’s back, piercing right through its brown
fur and its pinkish skin. Shauna’s body automatically flinches, right as blood begins to ooze out of
the jagged wound and the creature starts to wail in immense pain. She then shoots a reluctant
glance in Jackie’s direction, finding her already staring back.

Her face is blank and pale, while her eyes are wider than a pair of saucers. She searches Shauna’s
face and then frowns, which prompts Shauna’s heart to quiver a little bit. And then, Lottie twists
the knife out of the bear’s back, with a blood-curdling snap. Jackie shudders, before allowing her
gaze to pivot toward the sound.

“Shauna?” Lottie suddenly asks, forcing Shauna to tear her eyes away from Jackie’s petrified face.
She sucks in a deep breath and blinks at Jackie’s side profile a few times, before reluctantly
glancing over at Lottie. And, well. Lottie immediately thrusts the blood-coated knife back at
Shauna, with a grin on her face and a wild glimmer in her eyes. “Let’s get dinner started, yeah?”

Shauna obediently nods and plasters a thin smile onto her face, before snatching the knife out of
Lottie’s grasp. She inches her way down the steps on shaky legs, while the rest of the
Yellowjackets begin to whisper and grin in awe. Like, Van is suddenly smiling so widely at Lottie,
that Shauna swears her scarred-up cheek must be burning. But, well. Unlike Van and all of the
other girls, Jackie remains eerily silent and weirdly tense. She drills Shauna with a stink eye and
turns on her heel, marching straight back into the dusty old cabin.

A disappointed sigh escapes Shauna’s lips, right as she swipes the knife’s blade across the bear’s
thick throat. Blood sprays onto the forest floor and Lottie grins like a mad woman, while the rest of
the Yellowjackets hoot and howl in excitement. For the first time in weeks, dinner will not consist
of a skimpy amount of boiled-up maggots.

But, well. Shauna knows— like, way deep down— that Jackie won’t eat, either fucking way.

“Should we wait for Natalie and Travis?”

Shauna slides a pan filled with bear meat onto the coffee table, then glances up at the roaring
fireplace. It crackles and pops, right as Coach Scott begins to clear some mucus out of his sticky
throat.

“Uh, you know what?” Coach Scott murmurs, catching Shauna’s gaze. He offers her a shy smile
and leans back on the wooden bench, smacking his head against the living room wall with a soft
thud. “I’m pretty sure they've got some stuff to sort out, so... they can eat when they get back.”

Shauna purses her lips and nods, before flinging herself down onto the splintering bench. She slides
right into the vacant spot next to Lottie and inadvertently bumps her shoulder, which seems to
aggravate Jackie to no end. Jackie aimlessly picks at her food, while shooting a stomach-churning
death glare in Shauna’s direction. And, well. Even though she is seated on the other side of the
cramped living room, Jackie’s piercing gaze manages to make Shauna shiver all over.

“Lottie…” Van suddenly mumbles, stealing Jackie’s unadulterated attention. She tears her eyes
away from Shauna, which elicits a relieved hum from the darker-haired girl. “Last night you said
we wouldn't be hungry much longer…” Van continues, squinting up at Lottie. And, of course,
Lottie responds by nodding numbly. “How did you know?”

Lottie plasters on a soft smile, then shrugs up a shoulder. “I just did,” Lottie asserts, matter-of-
factly. She glances down at the bowl in her hands and smiles wider, before peering back up at Van.
“I had a feeling—”

“Yeah. It’s called getting lucky,” Jackie sneers, with a tight frown. She raises an eyebrow at Lottie,
which prompts her toothy smile to fade into a thin line. “The bear probably just smelled us and
came looking for food, okay? There was probably something wrong with it.”

Misty glances between Lottie and Jackie, with a sinister sparkle in her eyes. “It didn't look sick…”
Misty insists, which earns a raspy scoff from Jackie. She rolls her hazel eyes, which prompts Mari
to speak up.

“Jesus. Honestly, at this point, I don't even think I care…” Mari admits, coldly. She stabs her fork
into a piece of bear meat, before screwing her face up in a pinched scowl. “Can we just eat?”

Tai tries on a faint smile and bounces her head in agreement, until Van clears her throat. “Wait…”
Van trails off, tensing up a bit. Her brow creases and her eyebrows furrow, emitting an air of
nervousness. She then glances over at Tai, while nibbling at her lip. “Should we maybe... say
something? Like— like thanks or grace or... whatever?”

A stormcloud of silence rumbles over the living room, amplifying the sound of utensils clinking
and clanging. The wind roars and howls outside, but it still manages to batter against the cabin’s
flimsy walls with dull thumps. Shauna instinctively cringes and glances between Tai and Van,
finding their eyes locked in an unnerving stalemate.

For the first time in forever, Tai’s hardened exterior cracks like an egg. Her face falls flat, while
her eyes flash with a glint of understanding. “Yeah. Sure…” Tai quietly mumbles, under her breath.
Van immediately perks up, which coaxes Tai into amending her previous remark. “Just make it
quick. Okay?”

Jackie huffs out a scoff and rolls her hazel eyes, before tossing her head back. She stares up at the
ceiling and massages her neck, while Van redirects her eyes in Lottie’s general direction. “Lot?”
Van solemnly proclaims, which stirs Lottie to jerk her head just once.

In a matter of seconds, Lottie is squeezing her eyes shut and thrusting a hand in Shauna’s direction.
“Let's join hands,” Lottie hums, which urges Shauna to intertwine their fingers. Slowly but surely,
most of the Yellowjackets follow suit and obey Lottie’s command.

Tai slots her fingers between Mari’s, which draws a cheeky grin out of Van. She then clutches onto
Akilah’s hand, before bowing her head forward. On the flip side, Jackie openly refuses to clutch
onto Misty’s hand. She gawks between Misty’s face and her open palm, before shrinking right into
her seat. And, well. Shauna huffs in agitation and thrusts her free hand upward, just so that she can
pinch the bridge of her nose. Like, of course, Jackie can’t put her weapons down for five fucking
seconds.

“For this gift from the wilderness…” Lottie trails off, while bobbing her head up and down. Her
eyes are still latched firmly shut and her voice has this pacifying lilt to it, which entices Shauna to
tear her eyes away from Jackie’s grimace. She tips her head forward, staring down at her dirt-
covered Converse, as Lottie continues with her prayer. “We give our thanks.”

“Thank you,” Shauna numbly states, in unison with the rest of the Yellowjackets. She keeps her
eyes trained on the wooden floorboards and shuffles her feet, bouncing her leg to and fro.

“To the spirit of the bear, who sacrificed so that we could survive…” Lottie barrels on, before
squeezing Shauna’s hand tighter. A scoff immediately rings from the opposite side of the room,
and it sounds an awful lot like one of Jackie’s heated huffs. Shauna allows her eyes to gradually
creep their way upward, but then she tilts her head back towards the ground, once Lottie’s voice
buzzes from beside her. “We give our thanks.”
“Thank you.”

“And to the ancient gods of the sky and the dirt…” Lottie murmurs, with a contented sigh. She
blinks her eyes open and lifts her chin up, jutting it toward the ceiling. “We give our thanks.”

“Thank you.”

Eyes flicker open, throats bob, and chins tip upward, all across the living room. And, well. Weirdly
enough, Misty immediately glances over at Jackie. She scrunches up her face and pushes her
glasses up the bridge of her nose, drilling Jackie with the sourest look she can muster.

“You didn't say it!” Misty squeals, jutting a stubby finger in Jackie’s direction. Jackie scoffs and
throws her hands up in mock defeat, while blinking at Misty with saucer-like eyes. And, of course,
Misty then plasters on this absolutely cloying grin. She swivels her head around and catches
Lottie’s gaze, before unleashing her inner tattle-tale. “Jackie didn't say it!”

Jackie’s face flashes with horror and her mouth droops open in surprise, which prompts Shauna’s
stomach to sink to the floor. She wheezes out this contemptuous snort, before launching into this
absolutely grueling tirade. “No, I did not thank the dirt for bringing us a brain-dead bear. What is
even happening right now?” Jackie scoffs, while jostling her head to and fro. She tosses her rusty
can onto the floor, before leaning further back in her chair. “The fսck is wrong with you all?”

Lottie purses her lips and glares at Jackie, then jabs her fork right into a piece of bloody bear meat.
And then, Tai cuts through the silence and the tension, by clearing her throat. “It's fine, you
guys…” Tai trails off, glancing around the living room. She meets Shauna’s gaze and offers her a
sheepish smile, before continuing. “Jackie doesn't have to—”

“Oh. Shut up, Tai,” Jackie bristles, before breaking off into a scoff. And, well. Tai’s head spins
around comically fast, while Shauna’s eyes bulge in astonishment. Like, for whatever reason,
Jackie is fully prepared to bite everyone’s heads off. “Don't pretend like you weren't a part of it!”
Jackie jibes, jerking her head side-to-side for emphasis. She then glances around the living room,
while tapping her foot like an exasperated mother. “What, we're— we're— we're just not gonna
talk about it?” Jackie accuses, voice pitching higher and higher with each word. Shauna’s head
throbs and her stomach swirls, as Jackie suddenly lurches forward in her seat. She unfurls her arms,
just so that she can toss her hands into the air and fling them around. “We just howl at the moon
now and have fսcking оrgіеs? And somehow I'm the one who did something wrong?”

Coach Scott’s chiseled jaw crashes through the wooden floorboards, but he still manages to shake
his head in bewilderment. “Whoa, wait…” Coach Scott dazedly mutters, before sucking in a deep
breath. He shifts his head around, then glances at Lottie’s side profile. “What?”

The shrill timbre of Jackie’s voice grates against Shauna’s eardrums, spurring her to spit out one of
the most idiotic pleas on the planet. “Jackie…” Shauna murmurs, clenching her fists at her sides.
She bounces her leg faster, in a desperate attempt to soothe her frazzled nerves. “Calm down.
Please.”

But, well. Of course, Jackie refuses to grant Shauna any sense of serenity, as per fucking usual.
“Don't tell me to calm down!” Jackie spits, before leaping right onto her feet. She hugs her arms to
her chest, while inching closer to Shauna. “What were you gonna do to Travis last night, Shauna?”
Jackie asks, tilting her head to the side. Her foot twitches and her lip quivers, but she still manages
to uphold her icy exterior. “Answer me.”

“I don't— I don’t know,” Shauna lies, feeling her heart falter just a tiny bit. She remembers bits and
pieces of Doomcoming, but she sure wishes that she didn’t. Like, how could so much go wrong,
during just one singular event? “I don’t remember.”

Liar.

Shauna’s the biggest fucking liar on the planet, but at least she knows it. And, well.

Apparently, Jackie knows all about Shauna’s fervent duplicity and dishonesty, too.

“Bullshit!” Jackie barks, before twisting her lips into a sharp frown. She stomps one of her Lacoste
sneakers against the creaky floor, before huffing and puffing like a petulant child. “You had a knife
to his throat!” Jackie squawks, prompting Shauna’s head to pound. Guilt oozes through Shauna’s
system, filling her stomach with this utmost sense of dread. Her cheeks burn and her body tingles,
but Jackie seems entirely unbothered by their little stand-off. She clears her throat and juts her chin
into the air, before delivering the final fucking blow. “You are so lucky that Natalie and I managed
to break out of that fucking pantry. If we hadn’t, you would have killed a man!”

Shauna’s composure bursts like an active volcano, spraying loads of molten ash and vicious lava
right in Jackie’s general direction. She leaps to her feet and stalks closer to Jackie, while clenching
her fists at her sides. “Just shut up!” Shauna screeches, while digging her jagged nails into her
smooth palms. Jackie’s eyes light up and her lips twist upward, curling into this devilish smirk.
And, well. Somehow, Jackie’s haughty grin manages to make Shauna’s molten rage burn even
hotter. “None of this would have happened if it wasn't for you. If you hadn't—”

“If I hadn't… what? Hmm… Shauna?” Jackie demands, stepping forward. She wiggles a brow and
licks her lips, before extinguishing Shauna’s fiery demeanor with the bluntest statement of all time.
“If I hadn’t gone behind your back, fucked someone else, and broken your heart?” Jackie declares,
somewhat matter-of-factly. And, well. Jackie’s caustic tone needles at Shauna’s skin, which spurs
goosebumps to prick all over her arms and legs. Like, what the fuck? “Wow. The irony,” Jackie
scoffs, while shaking her head at Shauna’s confused frown. She rakes her eyes up and down
Shauna’s frame, then glances over at the rest of the Yellowjackets. And then, before Shauna can
even attempt to regulate her fucking breathing, Jackie’s words are crashing against her chest like
little anvils. “Shauna was fucking Jeff behind my back. Did you guys know that?” Jackie asks,
with a scratchy voice. The words elicit a wave of shocked gasps and frazzled stares from the rest of
the Yellowjackets, but they also prompt Shauna’s chest to heave and her ears to ring. “Yeah,”
Jackie spits, before shifting her attention back to Shauna. Her voice splinters as she glances
downward, allowing her eyes to drift right toward Shauna’s growing baby bump. “That's who's
really responsible for her little bundle of joy.”

Shauna’s heart pounds and pulsates like a jackhammer, which causes her chest to constrict to an
almost debilitating degree. She gasps out an assortment of shrill and serrated breaths, while
Jackie’s brutal words sink beneath her clammy skin. “How did you— what?” Shauna mindlessly
stutters, catching Jackie’s fiery eyes. She shakes her head back and forth, while blinking back tears.
Fuck. All of Shauna’s worst fears have come true, after months upon months of brutal self-torture.
“I— I— I don’t understand. Did— did Natalie tell you?”

Jackie’s eyes flare with confusion and her lips part open just a fraction, before she stumbles
backward in clear-cut shock. “Natalie? What?” Jackie manages to choke out, although her voice
currently sounds stickier than a piece of melted candy. Shauna scrunches her nose up and pinches
the bridge of it, while Jackie’s eyes scan her face for some sort of explanation. “No, Shauna.
Natalie didn’t tell me shit. You did!” Jackie rasps, which spurs Shauna’s throat to tighten. Her head
spins and her heart thumps in her esophagus, while Jackie rambles onward. “I mean, seriously? Do
you really think I am that fucking dumb?” Jackie accuses, which tears an indignant stammer out of
Shauna’s sandpapery mouth. Her pupils dilate and her brows fly comically high, while the weight
of Jackie’s words begins to crush her heart into smithereens. “The whole Randy thing? Why the
fuck would Jeff turn around? Huh, Shauna?” Jackie barks, before tossing her hands up in defeat.
Tears prick at her eyelids and mingle with her lustrous lashes, but she refuses to let up on her
emotional tirade. “And… guess what? I called your house and Jeff’s house, because I was so
worried about you fucking assholes. No one picked up at your house, but Mrs. Sadecki picked up at
Jeff’s. And— and that was at one in the fucking morning, Shauna!”

Oh.

Jackie is just tugging at loose plot threads, in a desperate attempt to unravel Shauna’s poorly
knitted narrative. Natalie didn’t tell Jackie anything, so she clearly doesn’t actually know about
Shauna and Jeff. She’s reaching at straws in the dark, which means that Shauna still has time to
salvage this.

So, Shauna throws her hands into the air and inches closer to Jackie, slowly but surely. “Look…
Jax,” Shauna drones, rather softly. And, of course, Jackie’s chapped lips immediately twitch at the
corners. Her mouth trembles and twists into a frown, right as Shauna reaches a shaky hand forward.
She tries to squeeze Jackie’s shoulder in reassurance, but she instantly bats Shauna’s hand away. “I
can— I can explain. I forgot what time it was when Jeff left. Trust me, I—”

“I read your stupid journal, Shauna. You don’t have to explain shit to me,” Jackie announces, with
a thinly veiled edge to her voice. And, well. Shauna’s stomach lurches and her heart instantly
stutters to a standstill, right as Jackie begins to wheeze out a slew of incredulous guffaws. “I know
everything. About Jeff. About Brown,” Jackie barrels on, verging on hysterical. Her voice shakes
like a wilting leaf, crumbling and crackling with each passing word. “I know that you think I’m
this giant, insecure loser who peaked in fucking high school. And I— I know how much you
fucking hate me. So, trust me, I don’t need to hear any more of your lies and your—”

“Jackie. I love you,” Shauna suddenly proclaims, without much afterthought. And, well. Although
those words have become a fairly ordinary aspect of Shauna’s vocabulary, a majority of the
Yellowjackets seem blindsided by the declaration. Shauna keeps her gaze locked on Jackie’s misty
eyes, but she still notices Akilah’s eyebrows raise and Mari’s jaw drop, out of her peripheral. “I
love you so much, Jax. And I— I didn’t want to lose you. I never want to lose you. Especially not
over some stupid mistake I made when—”

Jackie thrusts her arms forward and pushes hard against Shauna’s chest, sending her stumbling
back an inch. She then grits her teeth, before meeting Shauna’s incredulous gaze, head-on.
“Mistakes happen… once,” Jackie wails, before lunging a finger right in front of Shauna’s eyes.
Shauna slaps her hand away with an agitated huff, then gapes at the expanse of pinched skin
between Jackie’s lifted brows. “You slept with Jeff, twice!”

“Maybe if you didn’t spend half of our senior fucking year parading Jeff around and treating me
like your dirty little drunken secret, I wouldn’t have fucked him!” Shauna fires back, spitting the
bitter words right in Jackie’s bright red face. And, although Shauna knows that her remarks will
come back to bite her in the ass, she finds it somewhat exhilarating to finally let out all of her pent-
up emotions. “I only slept with him because you kept choosing him over me! I just— I just wanted
to know what made Jeff better than me.”

For a few seconds, Jackie just blinks at Shauna in complete and utter silence. But, well. In the blink
of an eye, Jackie’s entire demeanor shifts. Her jaw ticks and her eyebrows narrow, once Shauna’s
lethal comments begin to really seep in. “I chose you over Jeff… every single fucking day!” Jackie
screeches, which tears a shocked gasp out of Mari’s throat. Shauna instinctively steals a glance at
her, right as she shoves a palm over her mouth. “I skipped his baseball games to hook up with you!
I broke up with him to spend more time with you! I never slept with Jeff, because I wanted my first
time to be with you!”

Even though the crestfallen look on Jackie’s face feels like a sucker punch to Shauna’s gut, it’s the
assortment of crass words that suddenly spill from Mari’s mouth, that have Shauna keeling over in
agony.

Mari’s hand instantly slips off of her mouth, while her eyes swell to an almost humorous degree.
“Woah, woah. Hello?” Mari hoots, before glancing around the living room. And, well.
Unfortunately for Mari and her attention-seeking agenda, the rest of the Yellowjackets keep their
eyes locked and loaded on Shauna and Jackie. So, of course, Mari scoffs and begins to ramp up the
theatrics. “You two have been fingerbanging this whole fucking time? Right above the rest of us?”
Mari blurts out, rather ungracefully. Her vulgar words merit a stink eye, which results in Shauna
tearing her focus away from Jackie’s scowl. “And… Shipman. You were boning the Homecoming
King and the Homecoming Queen?” Mari teases, with a mischievous smirk. She leans back on her
elbows and wiggles her eyebrows coquettishly, which urges a grimace to warp Shauna’s pale
features. And then, of course, Mari adds even more fuel to the fire. She licks her lips, then squints
her twinkling eyes at Shauna. “So… Shauna. Who's better in bed? Jackie or Jeff? The King or the
Queen?”

Shauna stammers out an assortment of unintelligible words, before breaking off into a series of
irked grunts. Her cheeks burn and her stomach swirls, to an almost painful degree. But,
unsurprisingly, Mari seems entirely unaffected by Shauna’s discomfort. She raises a brow and
keeps her mischievous eyes trained on Shauna’s pink-tinted face, opting to goad her into speaking.

After sucking in a shaky breath and clearing her sticky throat, Shauna prepares to appease Mari.
She clenches her fists at her sides, then glances between Mari’s grin and Jackie’s frown. “Not that
it’s any of your fucking business, but J—”

“Oh my God! Do not answer that!” Jackie all but screams, which prompts Shauna to legitimately
flinch. She then winces and slowly swivels her head back around, just so that she can face Jackie
head-on. And, of course, Jackie’s face is now etched with traces of anger and annoyance. “I cannot
fucking believe you!” Jackie cries, before thrusting her hands into her own hair. She huffs and tugs
at a few honey-brown strands, then barrels right past Shauna. In a matter of seconds, Jackie
manages to make it all the way to the front fucking door. She grabs a knitted blanket off of the
floor and reaches for the dingy door knob, while shooting a death glare in Shauna’s general
direction. “I don’t want to be anywhere near you— or any of you— ever again!”

“Maybe you'd be better off without us…” Lottie numbly states, while glancing up at Shauna. She
holds her can of water to her lips, then grins around the rusty edge of it. “Y’know. Since we're all so
crazy.”

Coach Scott shakes his head and throws a hand up, then blinks at Lottie in reprimand. “Okay…
everybody. Just… stop,” Coach Scott states, while gliding his eyes around the room. He plasters
on the sternest look he can muster, then lowers his voice an octave. “Nobody is going outside.”

“Stay out of it…” Lottie warns, after turning her head in Coach Scott’s direction. And,
unsurprisingly, Coach Scott automatically gapes at her with a slack jaw and wide eyes. “Coach.”

Before Shauna can even think of anything to say to Lottie, her legs are moving of their own accord.
They carry her toward the front door, which Jackie has already managed to pry halfway open.
“Jackie. Come on,” Shauna begs, before clapping her hands together, for emphasis. Jackie just
shakes her head, while hugging her pastel blanket closer to her chest. “Don’t go outside. Let’s
talk.”
And, with that, Jackie nibbles at her lip and gives Shauna one more once-over. Her eyes rake over
Shauna’s features, until she pops the door open even wider. Jackie then slips out of the doorway
and rushes down the porch steps, with Shauna hot on her heels. “Oh, fuck you. Don't pretend like
this isn't what you wanted, the entire fucking time!” Jackie cries, as she marches toward the stone-
edged fire pit. She then hurls the blanket down onto the ground with a dramatic scoff, before
plopping down onto a fallen tree log. “I gave you so many chances to tell me the truth, but you
didn’t fucking take them. And, guess what, Shauna. Now I don’t feel like talking to you, ever
again! How does that sound?”

Shauna shoves her hands into the pockets of her jeans and begins to pace in front of Jackie, who is
currently struggling to flick Natalie’s BIC lighter. “Jesus Christ. Fine, Jax. You don’t have to talk
to me. You can hate me all you fucking want, but you need to go inside!” Shauna asserts, with a
sharp bite to her voice. And then, the nippy wind suddenly picks up, which just accentuates
Shauna’s previous point. It lashes and whips against Shauna’s bare face, which causes her skin to
sting like she’s just been punctured by a million, tiny little needles. “It’s fucking freezing, Jackie.
And I don’t want you to get sick.”

Jackie huffs out this incredulous guffaw, before tearing her gaze away from the lighter in her
chapped hands. She then reluctantly glances up at Shauna, with a bright red nose and tears in her
eyes. “I’m already sick. Every single time I look at you, all I can see is Jeff…” Jackie stutters,
before breaking off into a sniffle. She rubs her nose and shakes her head, then shrinks back into
herself. “I— I can’t believe that you would do this to me. It’s like— it’s like you’re a whole
different person. I don’t— I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

“Jackie. I made a mistake,” Shauna swears, frustration seeping into her vocal cords. She rips her
other hand out of her pocket and crosses her arms over her chest, in a desperate attempt to protect
herself from the rip-roaring wind. It whirls and twirls around them, which prompts Jackie to shiver
beneath the thin fabric of her knitted blanket. “I don’t fucking like him, ok? And I— I swear to
God, I would take it all back if I could. I love you so much. I don’t want to lose you, over this.”

“How the fuck do you expect me to believe that, when everything that you have ever said to me has
been a lie?” Jackie accuses, before crossing her arms over her chest. Hot tears trickle down her
cheeks and mucus drips from her tomato-red nose, but Jackie makes no effort to wipe her face. She
steels up and then glares at Shauna, beneath lowered lashes and drooping eyelids. “I know you
don’t love me, Shauna. You made that perfectly clear by fucking my ex-boyfriend and bitching
about me in your fucking journal!”

Shauna huffs out a weary sigh, before covering her eyes with her palms. “Jackie, I didn’t mean it.
Any of it. I was just— I was just really mad at you. I thought— I thought that you chose Jeff again.
You— you spent the whole night dancing around with him. And— and you tried to pair me off
with Randy,” Shauna blubbers, while rubbing vigorously at her eyes. Jackie sniffles and shifts a bit
on the tree log, which causes the blanket to rustle. “So, yeah. You made me feel like fucking shit,
he complimented me, and things just… happened.”

“So, instead of just talking to me like a normal fucking person, you decided to bone Jeff. Not once,
but twice…” Jackie whispers, with an eerily calm voice. Shauna slides her palms down the patch of
dry skin covering her face, then nods rather reluctantly. Jackie juts her chin into the air and puckers
her lips, before glancing away from Shauna in disgust. “I’m not a mind-reader, Shauna. I don’t
know what goes through your big-ass head! And I— I literally told you why I got back together
with him!” Jackie all but wails, which causes her chest to heave somewhat haphazardly. She
clenches her fists around the edge of the blanket, before spewing out even more venom. “You chose
to fuck Jeff and you chose to lie to me about Brown. I didn’t do shit, Shauna! You chose this for
us… not me!”
For whatever reason, those brutal words crawl right beneath Shauna’s goosebump-covered skin.
So, in order to relieve the itch that they cause, Shauna decides to do what she does best. She blows
up like an atomic bomb, spewing toxic sludge and putrid acid all over Jackie.

“Oh, right. Just like you chose to treat me like a fucking side-piece, all goddamn year. Do you
think that I enjoyed being relegated to quickies in party bathrooms? Do you think that I liked
watching Jeff feel you up, at every fucking event? Huh, Jackie?” Shauna roars, which spurs Jackie
to shudder. She squeezes her eyes shut, while Shauna rattles on like a broken record. “You know,
you never even bothered to ask me how I was feeling or if I was ok with sneaking around. And,
you never actually asked me if I wanted to go to Rutgers, either. You just assumed that I’d go
along with whatever the fuck you wanted. It’s like I’m an extra in the movie that is your fucking
life, and I am so sick of it!”

After a few beats of suffocating silence, Jackie’s eyes fly back open and Shauna manages to muster
up enough willpower to gulp. Her hazel irises have been replaced with these never-ending pools of
black, which lack any trace of life or emotion. She is glaring up at Shauna, with a stone-cold look
on her face. “Don’t worry, Shauna…” Jackie cooly states, with a voice steelier than a piece of
scrap metal. Shauna instinctively shivers, but she isn’t sure if it’s because of the cold or if it’s
because of Jackie’s downright icy demeanor. “You don’t have to put up with me, anymore. I’m
done.”

The words shoot through the air and riddle Shauna’s body like stray bullets, spurring her to
stumble backward in a haze. Her mouth droops open, leaving her to sputter and stammer all
indignantly for a few moments. “What do you— what? I— I didn’t. Jax, I didn’t mean—”

“Go inside. I’m serious,” Jackie commands, before dropping her grip on the pastel-colored blanket.
She holds the lighter up and glides her thumb down the metal spark wheel, with an audible wince.
But, well. Somehow, Jackie finally manages to flick it hard enough, to produce a tiny flame. The
pale orange glow illuminates her sharpened features, by casting dark shadows over her crooked
frown and crinkled nose. “I’m done with you.”

Fat tears roll down Shauna’s chapped cheeks, even as she jerks her head up and down. She huffs
out a scoff, before tossing her hands up in mock defeat. “Fine. When you wanna talk, let me
fucking know,” Shauna bellows, although the words taste like acid on her tongue. She then stomps
right past Jackie and her poor excuse for a fire, with thundering footsteps. In a matter of seconds,
Shauna manages to march all the way back to the cabin’s front door. She thrusts a shaky hand onto
the chilly doorknob, but then she hesitates. Instead of whipping the door open and shuffling back
into the cabin like a wounded puppy, Shauna clenches her jaw and blinks the tears out of her eyes.
“It’s your fucking world. Sorry for forgetting.”

And, with that, Shauna tears open the rickety door. It rattles and clangs, while Shauna rushes
through it like a high-powered rocket. She then tip-toes into the muggy living room, where she is
met with a hodgepodge of blank stares and raised eyebrows. Misty, of all people, appears the most
intrigued by Jackie and Shauna’s pay-per-view match from hell. Her eyes are sparkling with
delight and she has this knowing half-smile, carved right into her pasty face.

Ironically enough, it is Misty’s Cheshire Cat-like smile that tips Shauna right over the edge. She
clenches her hands into tight fists and paces into the pantry, then storms up the attic steps like a
category five hurricane. And, although Shauna can hear the Yellowjackets splutter out a barrage
of shocked gasps and nervous whispers, she chooses to ignore most of them.

The last thing that Shauna hears, before tucking her ice-cold body beneath her flannel blanket, is
Mari’s girlish voice.
“No, yeah. Shauna totally told Jackie that Jeff is better than her in the sack. Like, why else would
they not just… kiss and make-up?”

Shauna reaches behind her back and seizes her striped pillow, before plowing it right into her face.
She huffs and puffs into the thin fabric, then squeezes her eyes firmly shut. Stars twinkle and dance
behind her eyelids, even as her chest tightens.

The scream that Shauna howls out is so guttural and loud, that Jackie probably hears it from her
makeshift campsite.

“Hey.”

Shauna places a tentative hand on Jackie’s shoulder, then squeezes the sturdy fabric of her varsity
jacket. Shockingly enough, Jackie actually glances upward and meets Shauna’s gaze. Her teeth
chatter and churn from the cold, clacking against each other haphazardly. There is a pinkish blush
creeping onto her uncharacteristically sallow cheeks, but it’s her chapped lips— which are
currently tugged into a thick frown— that make Shauna puff out a heavy sigh. Shauna’s breath is
somewhat lukewarm, but it is so ridiculously cold and wintry outside, that she can see the plume of
air shoot out of her lips.

“This is stupid,” Shauna announces, with a feather-soft voice. After a bit of trial and tribulation,
Jackie manages to quirk up a half-frozen eyebrow. She pouts at Shauna and burrows further into
the blanket, like a little mouse. “I’m sorry. Ok? I am really, really sorry. For everything,” Shauna
murmurs, before crouching down onto her knees. A gust of heavy wind whistles right by the girls,
which ends up blowing a few stray pieces of golden brown hair right into Jackie’s face. The errant
strands precariously dangle in front of Jackie’s glassy eyes, so Shauna decides to reach a hand
forward and tuck them behind Jackie’s red-tinted ear. “Come inside,” Shauna begs, which earns a
harsh sniffle from Jackie. Shauna places her free hand on the small of Jackie’s back, then traces a
few shapes with her soft fingertips. “Please?”

Jackie glances up at Shauna, with a faint twinkle in her eyes. It’s an uncharacteristically soft
sparkle, but Shauna still notices it, nonetheless. And, well. A smile instantly cracks onto Shauna’s
face, once Jackie wordlessly decides to pull herself upright. Shauna then squeezes her waist from
behind, in order to guide her shuddering body up the rickety porch steps and through the front door
of the cabin.

After a bit of tricky navigation, Shauna manages to lead Jackie right back into the (dis)comfort of
the weathered cabin. She sneezes as soon as she tiptoes through the rusty door, which prompts
Akilah to scurry over to her with a thick, flannel blanket. “Thanks,” Jackie whispers, between
clacking teeth. Shauna plucks the blanket out of Akilah’s grip with a grin, before wrapping the
mottled fabric around Jackie’s shaking frame. “I was— I was freezing out there,” Jackie admits,
although the words come out all shaky and soft. Shauna frowns all sympathetically, then rubs her
hands up and down Jackie’s upper arms. But, well. Weirdly enough, Shauna’s ministrations seem
to have absolutely zero effect on Jackie’s body temperature. So, Shauna immediately steers Jackie
into the stiff dining room chair, that is currently situated right in front of the roaring fireplace. “I'm
so tired, Shauna.”

Shauna offers a faint smile and bounces her head, until Lottie appears out of virtually nowhere. She
plasters on a toothy grin and gazes at Shauna, before squatting down in front of Jackie. “Here,”
Lottie hums, with this sickly sweet voice. She then passes the steaming coffee mug in her hands,
over to Jackie. And, well. For some reason, Shauna’s stomach instinctively stirs and sours at the
gesture. Weird. “This will help.”
A girlish giggle bubbles out of Jackie’s mouth, right after she takes a long sip from the dirty mug.
The sound swirls and skirts throughout Shauna’s eardrums, like the melody of a catchy song. “Hot
chocolate? How?” Jackie asks, while raising an eyebrow at Lottie. Shauna’s throat constricts and
her breath catches, once Lottie just offers up a lame shrug as a response. “Where did you find
this?”

“Does it matter?” Lottie states, rather sternly. She then glances up at Shauna, before quirking her
lips into this evasive smirk. And, of course, Shauna instinctively gawks at her. Like, did Dead
Cabin Guy leave behind a neverending supply of Nestlé hot chocolate packets, just for Lottie
fucking Matthews to find? “Just enjoy it.”

In a matter of seconds, the sound of Jackie’s airy voice causes Shauna’s brain to completely shut
off. All of her lingering questions suddenly shrivel away, like wilting flowers in the winter months.
“Shauna…” Jackie whispers, while anxiously nibbling at her lip. She bats her thick eyelashes, then
puckers her lips into a melancholic pout. “I’m sorry.”

“It's fine. It's all gonna be fine,” Shauna quickly states, while Lottie scampers away. With Lottie
now gone, Shauna decides to take a play out of her playbook and crouch right in front of Jackie.
She combs her fingers through Jackie’s hair, twirling a few strands between her slender fingers. “I
love you, Jackie. You're the best friend I've ever had. You’re the— you’re the love of my life,
Jax…” Shauna sheepishly states, with a nervous grin. Jackie’s eyes instantly light up at the
admission, which calms Shauna’s nerves a bit. “You know that… right?”

“I know,” Jackie admits, with a lazy smile. She huffs out a contented hum and squeezes her eyes
shut, before leaning her head into Shauna’s gentle hair strokes. “I love you too.”

Unfortunately for Shauna and her guilty conscience, the Jackie love-fest does not last for very long.
Before Shauna can even really register what is happening, Jackie is choking out a nervous gasp
and wrenching her eyes back open. She then gulps and peers over Shauna’s shoulder, before going
absolutely wide-eyed. Shauna studies her anxious face for a second, then swivels her entire body
around, just so that she can follow Jackie’s unsettling gaze.

Shauna’s stomach bottoms out and her mouth instantly runs dry, at the sight of Laura fucking Lee.
Her blue eyes are gleaming like tiny little stars, while her pinkish lips are twisted into this
positively blinding smile. There’s this bright white glow radiating off of her body, which makes her
platinum blonde hair shine like a halo. She looks stunning, captivating, euphoric… and very much
alive.

Something twists like a rigid knife, deep down in Shauna’s gut. Her brain tingles and she suddenly
feels light-headed, almost like she could faint at any given moment. Like, Misty must have drugged
her again, somehow. She must be tripping off of another round of magic mushrooms, because…
what the fuck? Shauna literally saw Laura Lee die, with her very own eyes. She remembers the
burst of bright orange flames, the decimated airplane debris, and the crushed cries that all of the
Yellowjackets yelped out. And, well. Unfortunately, Shauna also remembers seeing Lottie collapse
onto her knees, with a downright horrifying look on her face.

Shauna snaps out of her daze, once Laura Lee reaches forward and squeezes Jackie’s blanket-clad
shoulder. And, weirdly enough, Laura Lee pays Shauna absolutely zero mind. It’s almost like
Shauna isn’t even fucking there, as Laura Lee begins to massage Jackie’s rigid shoulder.

“It's not as bad as you thought. Is it?” Laura Lee asks, before flashing her bright white teeth. And,
well. Shauna figures that she must be imagining things, so she slams her eyes shut and squeezes
them. Stars briefly dance behind Shauna’s eyelids, before she blinks her weary eyes right back
open. And, sure enough, Laura Lee is still standing right behind her. What? “Remember what I
said to you, before I got on that plane?”

Jackie nods her head rather bluntly and Laura Lee grins wider, which prompts Shauna to blink
again. Like, maybe this time, Laura Lee will disappear. Or, maybe, Shauna will finally snap out of
the crazy trance that she is currently in. But, well.

As soon as Shauna re-opens her tired eyes, she is met with a sight that is even more startling than
Laura Lee’s shimmering face and dazzling smile. There is now a mysterious man, leaning his
forearm against the doorway to the pantry. His face is covered with unkempt scruff, while the
flannel that he is wearing is blotted with an assortment of unrecognizable stains. The man’s
forehead is engraved with stress lines, his cheeks are somewhat sunken in, and his eyes are oddly
dull. There is no spark of life behind them, which compels Shauna’s entire body to shiver. The hair
on the back of her neck shoots up, while goosebumps emerge all across her arms and her legs. Her
skin stings and tingles, right as the man begins to stomp in Jackie’s direction.

What the actual fuck?

“So glad you're joining us…” he gruffly proclaims, with a sinister grin. Traces of horror and terror
flash across Jackie’s pale face, before she shrinks back into her seat. And, well. Shauna attempts to
reach for her, but the mystery man knocks her hand away without much afterthought. His lips curl
up in a sinister grin, right as he places a callus-covered hand on Jackie’s forearm. “We've been
waiting for you… Jackie.”

Shauna chokes on a frantic gasp, which prompts her to startle awake. She jolts into a sitting
position and tears open her brown eyes, before sucking in sharp breath after sharp breath.

Just a nightmare, just a nightmare, just a nightmare.

She juts the butts of her palms into her eyes and rubs at her eyelids, while her heart hammers away
in her heavy chest. It feels like there is a gigantic barbell resting on top of her sore lungs, which
makes it nearly impossible to regulate her breathing. The frosty air tickles her face and stings her
throat, but, somehow, Shauna is able to ignore the chill that is currently seeping into her brittle
bones.

Jackie’s fine, Jackie’s fine, Jackie’s fine.

Is she, though?

Shauna tears her hands away from her face, then yanks her flannel blanket off of her body. And,
well. In a matter of seconds, a chill rushes up Shauna’s spine and goosebumps begin to streak
across her arms. Without the thick fabric of her flannel blanket shielding her, Shauna is forced to
withstand the brutality of the frosty, attic air. So, Shauna instinctively crosses her arms over her
chest, then begins to rub her biceps with her hands. But, weirdly enough, Shauna is physically
unable to warm herself up. She huffs out a sigh and watches her warm breath twirl in the cold air,
before stumbling to her feet.

Like a moth drawn to a flame, Shauna robotically shifts closer to the attic’s cracked window. Even
with her eyes trained on the splintered glass, Shauna manages to tip-toe right past Tai and Van,
who are currently cuddled up beneath the bright green fabric of Van’s blanket. And, well. As soon
as Shauna sidles up in front of the broken window, her heart freezes and her blood begins to run
cold.

Snow flurries dance before Shauna’s bulging eyes, whirling and twirling in the frigid air outside
like miniature ballerinas. She allows her sleep-filled eyes to track the swaying snowflakes for a
few moments, before glancing downward. And, in a matter of seconds, Shauna’s entire world
begins to spin like a fucking top.

Natalie is clenching her teeth and whispering something under her breath, while clawing her pale
fingers through layers upon layers of fresh snow. The firepit and the forest floor are enveloped in
mountains of white powder, which decimates Shauna’s ability to actually see what Natalie is
frantically searching for. And, well. Shauna quickly deduces that Jackie probably left Natalie’s
dinky lighter outside, on accident.

Like, Jackie definitely retreated back into the safety of the cabin, way before the blizzard hit.
Shauna knows— from like, years of personal experience— that Jackie is super stubborn. But, well.
Even though Jackie is extremely tenacious, she surely wouldn’t try to prove a point by staying
outside and—

Freezing to death.

A sliver of gold-tinted leather suddenly peeks through the never-ending shroud of snow, prompting
Shauna’s stomach to sink through the splintering floorboards. “No!” Shauna all but wails, like a
fucking banshee. She then practically flies across the attic, which spurs Van and Tai to finally
wrench their eyes open. Shauna is already halfway down the frigid metal ladder, when she notices
Tai’s back shoot up like a lightning bolt.

But, well. Obviously, Shauna doesn’t have time to fill Tai in on the gory details of her morning. So,
instead of pausing, Shauna continues to bumble down the frosty steps. In a matter of seconds,
Shauna manages to make it into the cluttered pantry. Shauna sucks in a shaky breath and blinks the
tears out of her eyes, before barrelling through the living room like a runaway train. Like, Shauna
glides through the living room so fucking fast, that she accidentally steps on a few of her sleeping
teammates. So, of course, Shauna’s ears are immediately attacked by a melody of irked grunts and
disapproving scoffs.

She doesn’t care, though. Mari can bitch and moan about Shauna stepping on her hair, all she
fucking wants. Like, the only thing that Shauna currently cares about is Jackie, as per fucking
usual. And, well. All those years of running suicide sprints and rushing through lateral quickness
drills have finally proven to be useful, as Shauna manages to dash across the living room in record
time. She then flings the front door open with an insane amount of force, which causes it to smash
right into one of the cabin’s exterior walls with a loud clank.

Unsurprisingly, the Yellowjackets automatically begin to stir, in response to the rackety sound.
They whisper and gasp from the safety of their blankets, while Shauna sprints right into the knee-
high snow.

“Oh, my God.”

“It snowed?”

“Holy shit.”

“Jackie!” Shauna half-screams, half-sobs. Her legs feel like they’re made of jelly and she keeps
stumbling over piles of snow, but she somehow manages to make it over to Natalie and Jackie,
fairly fucking quickly. And, well. If Shauna was crying hard before, then she must be the human
equivalent of Niagra fucking Falls, right now. Her lip quivers and her nose runs, as she glances
between Natalie’s steely face and Jackie’s snow-encrusted eyelids. Anxiety and dread tango within
her gut, while she begins to frantically screech. “Jax— Jax—”
Jackie’s tan skin has warped into this ghostly white color, while her pinkish lips have turned bright
fucking blue. Her light brown hair and her thick eyelashes are caked with massive snowflakes,
while her entire letterman jacket is wrapped in a thick layer of icy powder. She doesn’t move or
rasp, even after Shauna frantically shakes her body back and forth. And, well. Shauna doesn’t get
the opportunity to jostle Jackie’s frozen body again, because Natalie suddenly decides to shove
Shauna out of the way.

Shauna collapses into a pile of hardened snow, right as Natalie begins to brush all of the icy flakes
off of Jackie’s jacket. She then bends over and scoops Jackie’s dull body up, with a pained grunt.
Natalie then begins to stomp back toward the cabin, which spurs Shauna to leap to her feet and
scramble after her. And, thankfully, Shauna manages to catch up to Natalie fairly quickly.

She sidles up next to Natalie and begins to run her fingers through Jackie’s icy hair, while blinking
back a never-ending stream of hot tears. “Jackie. Please wake up," Shauna gasps out, before
breaking off into a pathetic hiccup. Natalie just shakes her head and keeps her fiery eyes trained
straight ahead, even as she struggles to carry Jackie up the porch steps. “I love you, Jackie. I can’t
live without you.”

Natalie huffs out a serrated scoff and approaches the front door of the cabin, before stopping dead
in her tracks. She twirls around and finally peers over at Shauna, while cocking her skull toward the
doorway. “Shipman. Door. Now!” Natalie all but barks, eliciting a frantic head nod from Shauna.
She sniffles and places a trembling hand on the frosty door knob, before twisting it to the side.

Before Shauna can even react, Natalie is huffing and puffing her way toward the raggedy couch.
She lowers Jackie’s limp body onto the sunken-in cushions, while the rest of the Yellowjackets
glance between Shauna and Natalie, with horrified looks on their faces. But, unlike the rest of the
girls, Misty fucking Quigley is evidently ready for some action. She scoops her glasses off of the
floor and smashes them onto her face, before skipping over to the couch. “Natalie, get some
blankets. Mari and Akilah, start a fire. Shauna, help me get this jacket off of her. It’s soaked,”
Misty commands, which earns a slew of obedient head bobs. And, well. Mari and Akilah
immediately rush into the pantry to grab some firewood, while Natalie begins to collect a bunch of
blankets off of the floor.

“Do you— do you think she’ll… wake up?” Shauna whimpers, before grabbing a portion of
Jackie’s snow-caked jacket. Misty then paces over to the other side of the couch and begins to peel
the left side of Jackie’s letterman off of her body, while Shauna shudders and whines. “Misty.
Please, just tell me if—”

“Shut the fuck up, Shipman. Don’t act like you fucking love her, when you left her out there to
freeze to death!” Natalie howls, from the other side of the room. She then tromps back over toward
the couch, before hurling the thick heap of mottled blankets at Shauna’s heaving chest. “Jesus
Christ. What would have happened if Travis didn’t send me back here to get some food,
huh?" Natalie screeches, while thrusting her hands into the air. Her lips twist into a scowl and her
eyebrows narrow, right as Shauna begins to cover Jackie’s frigid body with the blankets. “You are
lucky as hell that Sadecki knocked you up. Otherwise, I would have clocked you right in the
fucking nose, the minute that we got back in here! I mean, seriously? What the fuck is wrong with
you?” Natalie cries, before glancing around at all of the other Yellowjackets. Eventually, Natalie
trains her piercing eyes on Lottie, who is currently sitting on the floor. Lottie doesn't meet her gaze,
opting to continue staring at the back of the couch, with a blank look on her face. “Fuck! Are you
all insane? That’s our fucking teammate! And you— and you were just gonna let her sleep outside?
Who the fuck does that!”

Shauna grits her teeth and swivels her head around, just so that she can shoot Natalie a death glare.
 “Why don’t you just shut the fuck up!” Shauna roars, which elicits a shocked gasp from Misty.
Shauna tucks Jackie’s body under one last blanket, then inches closer to Natalie. And, of course,
Shauna instinctively thrusts a finger into her face. “I’m fucking serious. You don’t know shit,
alright? Stay the fuck away from me and stay the fuck away from Jackie. You’re weird-ass crush
on her is pathetic and—”

A ragged whine and a raspy cough slice through the air, cutting Shauna right off. Her hand
instantly plunges back to her side, right as Natalie swivels her head in the direction of the feeble
noises. Shauna mirrors her behavior, then darts over to the couch. She practically plows Misty out
of the way, before dropping onto her knees and grabbing one of Jackie’s hands. In sharp contrast,
Natalie paces into the pantry and slams the door shut.

“Jax. Hey,” Shauna murmurs, while squeezing Jackie’s frozen fingers feather-lightly. Her entire
body is shaking, her teeth are clacking together, her cheeks are bright red, and her bluish lips are
trembling a bit. But, well. Even though Jackie still looks like a literal corpse, Shauna is unable to
bite back a watery smile or a relieved sigh. Tears rush down her cheeks, right as Jackie’s chest
begins to heave. She croaks out a series of mucus-filled coughs, then blinks her eyes open. And, of
course, Shauna begins to run her fingers through her soaking wet hair. “I’m so fucking sorry,
baby..." Shauna murmurs, prompting Jackie's lips to twist into a frown. She squints up at Shauna,
with an unreadable expression on her numbed face. "I didn’t mean—”

“Where’s Natalie?” Jackie rasps, before breaking down into another series of blunt coughs. Her
chest heaves and her eyes water, while Shauna blinks down at her in confusion. “I want Natalie,”
Jackie manages to gasp out, while hacking up a fucking lung. Shauna’s heart sinks into her stomach
and she loosens her hold on Jackie’s hand, right as Natalie comes marching out of the pantry. She
inches closer to the couch with this smug grin on her face, which just makes Shauna’s blood boil.
And, well. In a matter of seconds, the situation grows even deadlier, as Shauna’s heart basically
explodes into smithereens. Jackie reaches out her shaky arms and wiggles her fingers, gesturing for
Natalie to fucking hug her. There's also a faint smile playing at the corners of her lips, all of a
sudden. “Come here. Please.”

Shauna’s eye twitches and her feet instinctively shuffle toward the pantry, right as Natalie begins to
lean down. Her head throbs with anger, her stomach swirls with despair, her lungs sting from
overexertion, and her legs are sore from all of the running that she has done.

And, well. Shauna’s heart aches so fucking bad, that she honestly wishes that someone would just
put her out of her misery and slam an icicle right through it.

Chapter End Notes

school is awful i wish i could major in writing gay fanfiction but i cannot. so... if
updates slow down a bit like this one, just know that i also hate it.

coming up: jackie and natalie do everything in their power to piss shauna and travis
off, while lottie begins to assemble an entourage
 the necklace
Chapter Summary

“Is that— is that Jackie’s necklace?”

Shauna is standing in the clearing where the Yellowjackets threw Doomcoming, with
her head tipped downward and her eyes glued to the inside of a hollowed-out tree
trunk. Her eyes flicker between Jackie’s necklace and the shriveled-up heart, which
used to belong to the bear that Lottie recently killed. And, well. A shiver instantly
rushes up Shauna’s spine, right after she glances back up at Lottie. Shauna’s trembling
frame isn’t a result of the frigid temperature or the fresh snow currently falling, at all.
Her shivering is actually an automatic response to Lottie’s lifeless eyes, which are
currently ticking between Shauna’s anxious face and the little gold necklace on the
ground.

Or: Jackie and Shauna have a follow-up fight, after the freezer incident.

Chapter Notes

kind of nsfw section in the middle but like... not rlly ig.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

November 1st, 1996

Bare fingers frantically tear through mounds upon mounds of snow, sending little pellets flying
around in the air. The skin on Shauna’s hands has begun to crack, but she chooses to ignore the
fresh sting, in favor of continuing her search. She manages to do some damage to a specific pile of
the frosty powder, even though her jeans are currently so sopping wet that they’ve begun to stick to
her like glue.

Shauna pauses for a second to catch her breath, before swiping the top of her palm against her
sweaty forehead. She then adjusts her tight-fitting Varsity jacket, by pushing and pulling at the stiff
leather fabric that is currently wrapped around both of her arms. The frosty air bites at her bare face
and neck, leaving pinpricks and goosebumps in its wake. But, well. Even though Shauna is literally
freezing, she legitimately refuses to go back inside. Like, Shauna determines that she needs to make
a substantial amount of progress, before she can retreat to the safety of the warm-ish attic.

Unfortunately for Shauna, Taissa fucking Turner does not seem to share the somewhat deranged
sentiment. In a matter of seconds, a theatrical cough rings out from behind Shauna’s snow-covered
back. She knows exactly who the croak belongs to, which is why she opts to keep her head tilted
toward the snowy ground and her eyes trained on her own, pink-tinted fingers.

“Shauna. You need to cut this shit out. I know that you’re upset about Jackie, but you are never
gonna find that stupid necklace in all of this fucking snow. You’ve been doing this shit for weeks.
Just— just come to terms with the fact that it’s gone. I am begging you.”
Shauna sucks in a deep breath, before reluctantly swiveling her head around. She finds Tai peering
down at her, with her mouth agape and her bony arms crossed over her chest. Tai has one eyebrow
raised comically high, while her wide eyes dart between Shauna’s cleat-clad feet and her bright red
face. And, as per fucking usual, Van is playing the good cop to Tai’s bad cop. She is standing right
behind Tai, with a sympathetic frown on her face and an empathetic twinkle in her eye. Van sucks
in a deep breath and reluctantly steps right in front of Tai, which blocks her weirdly agitated face
from Shauna’s view. God bless.

“Look, Shauna. We both get what you are going through. We really do,” Van reassures, while
bobbing her head all compassionately. She then peeks over at Tai for backup, rather hesitantly.
And, well. Unsurprisingly, Tai just huffs out an agitated grunt and reluctantly jerks her head, in
forced agreement. But, even though it’s a fairly feeble form of understanding, Van barrels onward.
She gazes at Shauna like a sad and disappointed mom, with her eyes all soft and gooey-looking.
“But… Tai’s right. I know that Jackie loves that necklace. And I know that you love Jackie. But—
but finding it? Shauna. That’s not automatically gonna fix your… shitty situation. You do get
that… right?”

Shauna glances between Tai’s steely face and Van’s shy smile for a few elongated seconds, before
launching into the most absurd and pathetic diatribe of all fucking time. “She never would have
gone outside, if it wasn’t for me. I’m the reason she lost the necklace. I’m the—” Shauna rambles,
before abruptly pausing. There are tears welling in her eyelids and there is a line of mucus coating
her throat now, which she clears away with a thick swallow. “I’m the reason she almost froze to
death. I almost let her die. Everything is my fault. Jackie won’t talk to me, or— or even look at me.
She hates me. And— and she is going to hate me, forever.”

For the first time in forever, Van and Tai are both rendered entirely speechless. Usually, Van
would’ve cracked some perfectly timed joke by now, in order to cut through the thick silence. Or,
Tai would have said some intelligently calculated remark, just to whip Shauna’s spirit back into
gear.

After several silent moments— punctuated with the sound of lip nibbles, wind roars, throat
clearances, and flickering eyelids— Van finally musters up the courage to save Shauna from
swirling into the black hole of yet another mental breakdown.

“It’s not all your fault, y’know?” Van cautiously comments, almost like she’s testing the waters
before committing to a full-on tangent. And, although Van sounds rather reluctant, Shauna’s ears
instantly perk up. She’s been floating around in a pool of self-hatred for months now, but,
obviously, things have recently gotten even worse. Now, Shauna’s drifting into the depressive deep
end, with absolutely no ladder or lifeguard in sight. “I mean— uh. Fucking Jeff was… well,” Van
trails off, with a wince. She scratches at her hairline, while fighting against the urge to grimace.
“Not your finest moment. And, um. Lying to wifey about it? Also a big no-no, Shipman…” Van
lightly scolds, although her gentle words still make Shauna’s cheeks burn. She visibly recoils and
shudders in spite of herself, even though she knows that Van is right. Like, Shauna knows that she
is an awful person, but that doesn’t make it easier to stomach all of the awful things that she has
done. “But, uh. I mean… Jackie’s not perfect. Like, ok. She didn’t bang your boyfriend behind your
back and get knocked up…” Van starts, which prompts Tai to glare at her out of the corner of her
eye. And, thankfully, Tai’s delightfully threatening look is enough to coerce Van into switching
gears. “Fuck, alright. Look. She toyed with you for months and treated you like a side-piece,
Shauna. You both fucked up. Sure, you did worse… but she isn’t a Saint.”

A disgruntled guffaw slips past Shauna’s loose lips, provoking matching frowns to emerge on Van
and Tai’s bewildered faces. She glances between the two of them with bug-like eyes, while shaking
her head in disbelief. “No, no. Jackie didn’t— she didn’t mean…” Shauna trails off, before
whacking her own forehead with a crumpled-up fist. Her throat feels tight and her lungs feel like
the air has been squished out of them, but she somehow manages to ramble onward. Like, of
course, Shauna will do anything and everything to defend Jackie. She will defend Jackie’s most
heinous offenses, even when they’re not on speaking terms. “Fuck… you guys. I should’ve told her
that I was upset about sneaking around. I should’ve said something earlier to—”

“She shouldn’t have gotten back together with Jeff. Point blank… period. What she did was shitty,
so stop defending her!” Tai proclaims, with a weary eye-roll. She looks so incredibly exhausted
and drained, thanks to Shauna and Jackie’s full-scale proxy war. “God knows she isn’t defending
you to Natalie or Mari or whoever the fuck will listen to her bitching. Just… I don’t know! Talk to
each other, apologize to each other… like normal fucking people!” Tai all but shouts, which spurs
both Van and Shauna to visibly flinch. Her voice pitches so goddamn high, that Shauna figures that
Jackie can hear her brutal words from inside the fucking cabin.

“I’ve tried to talk to her, alright! She won’t— she won’t speak to me!” Shauna shouts back, with a
huff. She angrily shoves her fists back into the snow and wraps her icy fingers around a handful of
the white powder, before tossing it straight at Tai. But, well. Unsurprisingly, athletically-gifted Tai
manages to side-step Shauna’s poor excuse for a snowball, without much effort. She then shoots
Shauna the stink eye, before grabbing ahold of her frigid wrist. In a matter of seconds, Tai is
tugging Shauna to her cleat-clad feet, while ignoring all of her angry comments. “I owe her this! I
can fucking find it, if you would just— just let go of me!”

After a few minor slips and a lot of wrestling, Tai manages to force Shauna into an upright
position. She then juts a finger over at Van, who is currently wiping at the snow that is now
pooling around her knees. “I am going to be so real with you, right now. We can’t take this
anymore, Shauna. We are not going to let you get frostbite, because Jackie misses some stupid
piece of jewelry!” Tai wails, while tightening her hold on Shauna’s wrist. And then, Tai is pulling
Shauna towards the front door of the cabin, way before she can even think to open her snarky
mouth. “Haven’t we all already learned our lesson about Mother fucking Nature and—”

“We can’t go in there!” Shauna abruptly proclaims, while trying to worm her way out of Tai’s grip.
She finally manages to do so, after twisting her arm around. Shauna then crosses her arms over her
chest with a defiant huff, right as Van and Tai decide to swivel around in sync. They wear matching
frowns that droop even more, in response to Shauna’s somewhat disjointed argument. “Jackie’s in
the living room! And I—” Shauna trails off, before glancing downward. She instinctively grimaces
at the sight of her wet jeans, her snow-covered jacket, and her tomato-red hands. “I— I don’t want
her to see me… like this.”

Shauna’s eyes swivel upward and meet Tai’s exasperated gaze, while she yanks at her soggy jeans
for emphasis. And, of course, Tai then immediately glances over at Van for guidance. The red-
headed girl wipes a few errant snowflakes out of her hair and shrugs, which earns an eye roll from
Tai. “Fine,” Tai relents, with a put-upon sigh. She gestures a jerky hand towards the back door,
with a neutral expression on her face. “But you are going inside, Shauna. I’m serious.”

“Fine,” Shauna spits, with a huff. And then, Shauna begins to march toward the back door, without
uttering another word. She hears Van and Tai scramble after her, even as her cleats kick up clumps
upon clumps of snow. But, well. Somehow, Shauna manages to soar through the knee-high sea of
white powder, in those spike-covered shoes. She beats Van and Tai to the back door by a mile, so
she tears the wooden frame open and allows it to slam shut, right after she slips through it. “Fuck
this, fuck this, fuck this,” Shauna murmurs, under her breath. She shakes her head to herself, while
she tip-toes through the hallway and into the pantry.

As the spikes on Shauna’s cleats begin to clink and clank against the ladder’s metal steps, the back
door suddenly creaks open. It closes rather quickly, but Shauna manages to make it all the way into
the attic, before Van and Tai can actually catch up to her. Shauna’s teeth chatter and her arms
begin to shake, right as she starts to shrug off her Wiskayok jacket. She then attempts to shake
some of the snowflakes out of her damp hair, until Tai and Van materialize in front of her, out of
practically nowhere.

Van is wearing a sheepish grin, as she reluctantly inches closer to Shauna and places a hand on her
chilly shoulder. She squeezes it reassuringly, before trying to diffuse the situation. “We really just
want the best for you, Shauna. And, fuck. We’ve already had so many close calls, in the past few
weeks. Between the whole Jackie thing and Javi literally going missing for a few hours, I think we
should all avoid going outside, until the snow clears and—”

“Travis, why the fuck are you acting like such a dick again? You’re being an asshole to me, and to
your brother… and to literally everyone else. Stop yelling at him, alright?” Nat’s gravelly voice
suddenly rings out, from downstairs. Her raspy voice blares through the cabin like a fire alarm,
which urges Van to swallow down the rest of her words. And, well. The shrillness of Natalie’s
voice also prompts Shauna to slide her palms over her ears, in order to suppress her migraine from
growing even stronger. “For fuck’s sake, he was literally lost in the woods a few fucking weeks
ago. We have more knives… it’s not a big deal if he uses one of them to carve wood or— or
whatever!”

Instead of answering Natalie’s pointed question, Travis apparently opts to race out of the cabin
with his tail between his legs. Even from the attic, Shauna can hear the tell-tale sound of the
rickety front door swinging open and abruptly slamming shut. The clangorous sound it makes is
enough to make Shauna’s temples throb, but what Jackie decides to say next sends Shauna’s brain
reeling. Like, Shauna’s head begins to spin so fucking much, that she honestly feels like she is
trapped in a treacherous rip-current at Belmar beach.

“See? Just like I told you… second chances are a complete waste of time,” Jackie abruptly
proclaims, with a poisonous edge to her voice. And, well. Shauna’s head immediately swivels
towards the attic ladder, almost like she is a lapdog that has just received a command from her
master. She can sense Van and Tai’s nervous eyes ticking over her side profile, but Shauna
physically cannot stop herself from focusing all of her energy on eavesdropping. “Friendship
doesn’t matter. Love… doesn’t matter. They’re just things that we use to pretend that we aren’t
gonna end up like Dead Cabin Guy. Trust me. I would fucking know.”

In a matter of seconds, Shauna’s heart abruptly freezes in her chest. A chill rushes down her spine,
while her brain begins to sizzle like a scrambled egg. But, somehow, Shauna manages to pull
herself to her feet. Her tingling legs carry her towards the ladder of their own accord, allowing her
to move like a mixture between a woman possessed and an actual robot. Even though the ringing
noise that has begun to trumpet throughout her eardrums, Shauna can hear the distinct lilt of Tai’s
voice. Shauna honestly can’t make out a single word that she is saying, but she really doesn’t have
the time or the energy to interpret one of Tai’s remarks.

Instead, Shauna opts to utilize her final functioning brain-cell, to trod down the ladder’s frigid
steps. The soccer cleats wrapped around her numbed feet make it a nearly impossible task, but
Shauna somehow manages to withstand the rocky descent that the metal spikes conjure up. She
hops off of the last rung of the ladder and lands onto the pantry floor in one piece, before tearing
off her stupid soccer cleats. It’s a fairly hard task, especially since they have been doubling as
make-shift snow boots for the last few weeks. Each and every day, Shauna has spent hours upon
hours digging through the snow, in search of Jackie’s golden necklace. As a result, her soccer
cleats have grown soggy and taut, which has rendered them nearly impossible to tear off.
But, well. After filling a few minutes of her sordid life with agitated cursing, gritted teeth, and one-
legged hopping, Shauna manages to tear both of her offensive cleats off of her feet. She heaves
them at the dusty floor with an agitated huff, then storms into the fairly vacant living room with as
much grace as a child currently in the throes of a brutal temper tantrum.

Although Shauna makes a point of standing right in front of Jackie, the lighter-haired girl hardly
glances up from the tattered-up book, currently situated within her lap. She keeps her eyes fixated
on blurry scrawl and yellowed pages, while Shauna peers down at her with a cocked jaw and
squinted eyes. And, of course, Jackie’s newest little sidekick peers between them like the nervous
child of a newly-divorced couple. Natalie also shuffles to the other end of the couch, almost like
she instinctively knows that she needs to put distance between herself and Jackie. She then sinks
further back into one of the couch’s shabby cushions, before jabbing her socked foot into Jackie’s
bony knee.

Unsurprisingly, Natalie’s somewhat mundane gesture is able to capture Jackie’s attention, but
Shauna’s towering and thundering presence is unable to yield the same results. She slams the book
in her lap shut, before peeking over at Natalie with a small smile. Natalie then plasters on a forced
grin and cocks her head in Shauna’s direction, which sends a few bleach-blonde hairs swirling
around. And then, Jackie allows her hazel eyes to track the movement of Natalie’s skull, without
saying a single word. She meets Shauna’s gaze relatively quickly, but their eye contact spurs that
stupid smile to melt right off of Jackie’s face like hot candle wax. Typical.

“What’s up?” Jackie slowly drawls, in order to punctuate each word with an undertone of
condescension. She raises an eyebrow and sucks on her lip, but her rolling eyes remain on Shauna’s
fresh grimace. “Look, I don’t have all fucking day. So, maybe just—”

“I heard you,” Shauna automatically asserts, with an eerily cold voice. She swears that someone
else must be speaking for her, because the words sound all distant and foreign on her tongue. “I
heard what you said. What the fuck is wrong with you.”

Jackie huffs out a flustered guffaw, while swiveling her beady eyes between Shauna’s scowl and
Natalie’s tight grin. It’s almost like she is imploring Natalie to say something, but, weirdly enough,
Natalie just shrugs. “Oh, right. You fuck Jeff and lie to me about everything, but I’m the problem
starter?” Jackie eventually remarks, after trying (and failing) to butter Natalie up for a verbal
onslaught. Jackie then crosses her bony arms over her chest, before emphasizing the gesture with a
theatrical sigh. “Maybe you should mind your own business and stop eavesdropping on my
conversations. Last time I checked, you were ‘sick of being an extra in the movie that is my life.’
So, like… stop being so nosy,” Jackie cloyingly proclaims, while wiggling her fingers into air
quotes. Shauna’s brown eyes instinctively roll of their own accord, which just boosts Jackie’s
pettiness to an almost Cher Horowitz-level degree. “It’s embarrassing. And it’s not like I’m
wrong,” Jackie spits, with a snarky smile. She puckers her lips up in a knowing smirk, before
purposely prodding right at the bright purple bruise on Shauna’s heart. “I really thought that you
loved me, but, clearly, you never fucking did! Like, seriously? Don’t act like you give a shit about
me. You left me out in the fucking snow, to freeze to death! What was your goal, huh? To prove a
point, by making me into a fucking snowman or—”

“You treated me like shit, too! I told you that I loved you, so many fucking times. But you just…
continued to treat me like a side-piece! So— so stop acting like everything is my fault!” Shauna
automatically fires back, without really thinking about it. And, well. For someone who has the
grades and test scores to get into a prestigious Ivy League school, Shauna really doesn’t use her
high-functioning brain, all that fucking much. So, of course, Shauna continues to spew out piles
and piles of word vomit. “It’s like— it’s like you don’t even listen to me! And— and fuck, Jackie. I
— I fell asleep, alright? I already told you that. I— I swear I accidentally fell asleep. I never
would’ve purposely left you—”

“Whatever. You’re a serial liar, Shauna. I can’t believe a single word that comes out of your mouth!
And— and. Compared to all of the shit you’ve done, I’m basically an angel!” Jackie shrieks,
before launching Misty’s romance novel right onto the floor. Shauna finds Jackie’s reading choice
fairly ironic, considering her aforementioned, anti-romance tirade. But, well. Unfortunately,
Shauna isn’t granted the opportunity to match Jackie’s snarkiness with a quippy remark of her own,
because Jackie is suddenly leaping to her feet. “And, y’know what? I’m seriously not in the mood
for one of your pity parties!” Jackie barks, right into Shauna’s face. And then, Jackie decides to up
the ante, by reaching blindly behind her back. She keeps her defiant eyes trained on Shauna’s,
while she wriggles her fingers at Natalie all expectantly. “C’mon, Nat. Let’s go to the boys’ room.
We can talk some more… in private.”

Instead of whipping her head around to say those words to Natalie fucking Scatorccio herself,
Jackie decides to yap them right at Shauna. And, well. The haughty look currently smeared across
Jackie’s face, is enough to make Shauna’s veins pop out of her forehead. She squints at Jackie
incredulously, while Natalie hesitantly takes her hand. Natalie allows Jackie to yank her to her feet,
but she is fully incapable of muffling the pained wince that Jackie’s steely death grip provokes.

Natalie manages to peer over her shoulder at Shauna, even as Jackie frantically tugs her towards an
adjacent bedroom. She forces a nervous smile onto her lips, but the corners of her mouth keep
twitching and her eyes are practically bulging out of their lids. But, well. Shauna doesn’t get much
time to assess the downright terrified look on Natalie’s face, because Jackie steers her right into the
boys’ bedroom in record time.

The door then slams right behind the two of them, with an incredibly clamorous thud. It echoes off
of the living room walls, before bouncing around in Shauna’s head like a loose soccer ball.

For the first time since the big incident— which is what Van decided to rename Jackie’s run-in
with frostbite and near-death experience— Shauna and Jackie have spoken to each other.

Or, honestly, more like… screamed at each other.

Shauna is so completely fucked, but it’s not like she doesn’t deserve it. It’s honestly like she’s an
eight-year-old kid, who is hell-bent on creating the perfect Christmas list for Santa. Only, Shauna
isn’t picking out toys or games to beg some bearded dude for. Nope. Instead, Shauna is forcing her
scrambled brain to tally up all of her brutal offenses, just so that she can mentally gauge how awful
she really is. Like, Shauna figures that Van and Tai must be delusional. Why else would they
willingly defend all of her shitty actions?

She can’t even justify her own egregious mistakes, at this point.

“Yes, Nat. Right there. Keep— keep doing that. Fuck.”

Jackie’s girlish gasps seep through the attic floorboards and drift right into Shauna’s ears, before
bursting in her brain like booming gunshots. Something caustic automatically crawls up her throat,
almost like she’s just downed a shot glass full of battery acid. Her eyes twitch and water, right as
the tell-tale sound of a bed squeaking rings from downstairs. And, well. Although Shauna can feel
her stomach contents sinking through the floorboards, she manages to lift her head up and peer
over at Tai.

Unsurprisingly, Shauna finds Tai already staring back, with a nervous look stamped onto her face.
She then glances over at Van, who meets her gaze for a split second, before pointedly jerking her
head downward. Tai wheezes out a sigh and rubs at her eyebrows, then reluctantly swivels her
attention back to Shauna. She plasters on a painful smile that makes her look like a ventriloquist
dummy, before launching into one of the weakest and stupidest explanations ever.

“I’m sure they’re… uh. I don’t— I don’t think they’re actually hooking up, Shauna…” Tai stutters
out, which elicits a head shake from Van. She sounds so uncharacteristically unconfident, which
just makes Shauna’s stomach twist even tighter. “Jackie’s probably just trying to piss you off.
Yeah… Jackie’s just… being a bitch,” Tai reassures, although it sounds an awful lot like she is
trying to persuade herself into believing her own words. She keeps her eyes trained on Shauna,
while Van audibly snorts, right beside her. “And, uh. Natalie’s definitely pissed at Travis, so she’s
probably trying to make him jealous, too. Plus, like… it’s Nat. She has hooked up with so many
dudes. There’s no way—”

“Your gaydar doesn’t just need fine-tuning. It needs to be full-on replaced,” Van retorts, which
steals Shauna’s full attention. Tai just gawks at her, with one eyebrow raised and a hand on her
chin. Van squeezes her knee and glances over at her for a second, before shifting her gaze to
Shauna’s blanched face. “Look. I have known Nat since like… well, forever. I’m pretty sure you
already know this, but we’re neighbors,” Van slowly states, which provokes a head nod from
Shauna. She clenches her hands into fists and stares at Van intently, because she honestly has no
idea where she is going with this one. “And, uh. So…” Van scratches at her hairline, while
grimacing. Like, Van legitimately looks so uncomfortable and troubled, that Shauna wonders if the
ghost of Dead Cabin Guy is somehow waterboarding her. “She tells me like… a lot. Which, uh.
Which is how I know she… um. Well, she— she used to hook up with Lottie. Like, at every party.
Jackie’s New Year’s party, last year. Mari’s stupid Christmas sweater shin-dig, sophomore year.
Lottie’s— ”

Shauna can see Van’s lips moving, but she can’t hear a single word coming out of her fast-moving
mouth. There is this brutal ringing noise blasting throughout her brain and ears, which honestly
sounds sharper than any alarm clock she has ever owned. It's the same sound that plagued her ears
this morning, but it's about one hundred times worse. Van’s words have confirmed all of Shauna’s
worst fears at the same time, prompting her to feel like she’s just been mowed down by a semi-
truck.

And then, as if to emphasize Van’s previous sentiments, Jackie practically shrieks out a low moan.
Shauna’s eye twitches and she instinctively peers over at Tai, who is currently staring at her with
bug eyes. Her forehead is marred with creases and her lips are twisted into this awkward frown,
which genuinely pushes Shauna to reach her breaking point.

In a matter of seconds, Shauna unconsciously rises to her feet, like one of those fully-automated,
human-like robots from The Twilight Zone. And, ironically enough, Tai’s lips also begin to
mechanically move. Now, Tai and Van’s mouths are both moving at about one hundred miles a
minute, without uttering a single sound. They also wear matching grimaces, which worsen and
deepen, once Shauna swivels around. Even though her head is spinning like a corkscrew on a
roller-coaster, Shauna practically sprints down the attic ladder. She moves so fast that her sneakers
nearly slide off of the cool metal, but she still manages to make it downstairs fairly quickly.

Shauna then darts straight for the door to the boys’ bedroom, with Van and Tai hot on her heels.
They’re yelling and screaming a variety of indecipherable things, but it’s not like Shauna actually
gives a shit about what they’re saying. All Shauna cares about is getting into that stupid bedroom,
just so that she can pry Natalie off of Jackie. And, well. Shauna also just really wants to scream and
cry about how fucked up everything has gotten, at this point. But, considering the fact that
legitimately everything is Shauna’s fault, she literally has no right to be so upset.
Before Shauna can talk herself out of barging into that stupid bedroom, Jackie decides to do
something that makes her absolutely snap. She pants out this insanely theatrical, Broadway-caliber
moan, which slashes Shauna’s heart like a leather whip. It also encourages her to grab onto the
door knob so tightly, that her knuckles contort into this ghostly shade of white. And then, Shauna
rips that door open so fast and forcefully, that she swears she could have torn it off its hinges.

Her heart is beating out of her chest, her stomach is churning, her eyes are twitching, and her anger
is raging. But, somehow, Shauna manages to steel up, right before the big reveal. She mentally
prepares herself for the most horrifying, scathing, heartbreaking, and brutal sight imaginable…

Just to find Jackie, fully clothed and sitting criss-cross on the floor, with Misty’s fucking book in
her lap. Natalie, on the other hand, is laying on the raggedy mattress with one arm tucked behind
her head. There’s a muddy tennis ball in her other hand, which she leisurely tosses at the shitty
ceiling. It creaks and squeaks in response to the intrusion, echoing the sound that Shauna heard
from the fucking attic. Her face automatically twists into a scowl, right as Van and Tai decided to
crash into her like dominos.

They grab onto Shauna’s shoulders and peek into the room with prying eyes, while Shauna
attempts to bat them away. And, well. The three of them manage to create such a racket, that Jackie
and Natalie finally spot Shauna in the doorway. Natalie tosses her a two-finger salute, while Jackie
smirks all self-righteously.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Shauna instinctively asks, while peering between Natalie and
Jackie with a wild look in her eyes. Jackie just breezily shrugs and hums, before glancing back
down at her book. And, honestly, Shauna can’t help but automatically explode like a Fourth of July
firework. “Jackie. Let’s talk outside. Now.”

Jackie glances up at Shauna and shakes her head, while clicking her tongue in admonishment.
“Hard pass. I’m a bit busy,” Jackie murmurs, which earns an aggravated scoff from Tai. And then,
Tai and Van quickly pad right back into the pantry, while Shauna narrows her eyebrows at Jackie.
Unsurprisingly, Jackie responds to Shauna’s hardened look, by cooly waving a dismissive hand.
“So, like… go find someone else to drag outside? I'm pretty sure I’ve spent enough time in the
snow… don’t you think?”

Natalie awkwardly whistles and cautiously glances upward, meeting Shauna’s gaze for just a split
second. There’s an unreadable flicker in her eyes, but it dies as soon as she glances back at the ball
in her hand. But, well. Unlike the glint in Natalie’s eyes, Shauna’s colossal temper refuses to
dissipate. If anything, it just snowballs and snowballs, with each word that Jackie spits out.

“Jackie,” Shauna manages to huff out, between gritted teeth. Jackie sighs and glances up at her,
before quirking up an eyebrow all innocently. “I need to talk to you. I don’t give a fuck where we
go. But, we seriously need to talk about whatever the fuck you were—”

“See, but like… I don’t want to talk to you. So…” Jackie sassily proclaims, before shrugging her
shoulders up, all over again. Shauna’s nostrils legitimately flare, while Jackie casually shuts her
book and leans back on her elbows. “Go away? Maybe?”

Shauna scoffs and rubs at her temples, while shooting Jackie the sharpest death glare she can
muster. “I’ll leave you alone… once you explain to me what that little fucking show you just put
on, was all about!” Shauna screeches, before gesturing her jerky hands between Natalie and Jackie.
And, surprisingly enough, that exasperated statement pushes Jackie to scramble to her feet. She
inches closer to Shauna, who nods her head and allows a faint smile to creep onto her lips. “Thank
you.”
“Whatever,” Jackie rasps, before using her shoulder to plow Shauna right out of the doorway. She
then marches straight toward the front door, with calculated footsteps. Shauna trails right behind
Jackie, which allows her to creep through the rickety door, without having to re-open it. And then,
Jackie paces straight into the knee-high snow, with her chin cocked upward and her arms crossed
over her chest. “I don’t get what you want from me. We’re fucking done, Shauna!” Jackie wails,
without sparing Shauna a single glance. She shuffles towards a nearby clearing, while Shauna
picks up the pace. Shauna huffs and trudges through the thick snow, until Jackie decides to whirl
around and throw her hands up. The abrupt gesture— combined with the tired look in Jackie’s eyes
— prompts Shauna to freeze, mid-step. “We’ve been done, ever since you decided to fuck Jeff. I
just— I just didn’t know it yet! So— so why don’t you just… leave me alone!”

Shauna instinctively clenches her fists and her jaw, but she is still unable to quell her anger. She
shakes her head and scoffs, while Jackie gnaws at the inside of her cheek. “I’ll tell you why I can’t
leave you alone, right after you explain some shit to me. What the hell was that, back in there?”
Shauna fires back, while tossing a thumb toward the cabin. And, of course, a humorless chuckle
automatically slips out of Jackie’s loose lips. “Great, yeah. For sure. That shit you pulled… wow!
That was so fucking funny, Jackie!” Shauna deadpans, while clapping her hands together. She
plasters on the fakest smile ever, which provokes Jackie to glare and scrunch her nose up. “I
mean… fuck. You should really audition for SNL, once we get back. You’re such a great actress,
that you nearly made me cry! Great work, Jax. Congratulations on your ability to fake fuck—”

“My apologies for not being able to just— to just fuck anything that moves! I’m sorry that I don’t
actually want to fuck anyone else, except for you!” Jackie roars, before inching closer to Shauna.
She thrusts her arms forward, just so that she can shove Shauna pretty fucking lightly. Like, Shauna
barely moves an inch, thanks to the thick snow surrounding her calves and feet. “Trust me, if I
could… I would. But, I guess we can’t all have shitty morals like you… Shipman!”

“Oh, fuck you!” Shauna snarls, between clenched teeth. She then mirrors Jackie, by thrusting her
hands up and shoving the lighter-haired girl backward. But, unsurprisingly, the snow also prevents
Jackie from stumbling a substantial amount. “I’m not the one who just spent the last half-hour fake
moaning with some other girl, just to piss off my fucking girlfriend. That was all you!”

Jackie wheezes out an incredulous scoff, before vigorously jabbing her pointer finger at her own
skull. “Jesus Christ, Shauna. We are not together, anymore. What’s not clicking in that big-ass
brain of yours!” Jackie screeches, in a way that verges on hysterical. Her voice comes out so reedy
and high, that Shauna quickly determines that it could break one of the lenses on Misty’s crooked
pair of eyeglasses. “Like, fuck! For someone who's smart enough to get into an Ivy League school,
you really are so fucking stupid! It’s embarrassing!”

“You wanna know what else is embarrassing?” Shauna asks, although she doesn’t give Jackie
much time to answer her question. Instead, Shauna steps closer to Jackie, with a disgusted scowl on
her lips. “The fact that I let you walk all over me, for months! For fucking years… actually! That’s
— I mean, that’s really fucking embarrassing. Not that you actually give a shit, though…” Shauna
accuses, with a tinge of bitterness in her voice. The taste lingers on her tongue and increases in
acidity, right as Jackie begins to obnoxiously shake her head. “And now, I’m just letting you do the
same shit, all over again! I have apologized, so many fucking times. And— and I am genuinely
sorry, Jackie. I know that I have made so many fucking mistakes,” Shauna admits, while rubbing at
her temples. Jackie just rolls her eyes, which immediately sends Shauna into another emotional
tailspin. Her unruly fury swirls through her veins like a spun-out car, spurring her to say the most
damning statements imaginable. “But— but God Forbid you just fucking forgive me. Or— or just
show some compassion. Not that you’d know what that means, considering the parents you have.”

It’s like Shauna’s cheek is a target and Jackie’s hand is a fucking missile, with the way it zips
through the air, as fast as lightning. But, well. Somehow, Shauna’s hand snaps up quick enough, to
catch Jackie’s wrist in mid-air. She sinks her nails into the thick fabric of Jackie’s Varsity jacket,
while she desperately attempts to wiggle her way out of Shauna’s grip.

“Let go of me, Shauna! Now!” Jackie wails, at the top of her lungs. She whips her entire body to
and fro, so Shauna tightens her hold and winces. Shauna holds on for dear life, while Jackie begins
to ramble incoherently. “Shauna. I swear to God, if you don’t let go of me, I am going to—”

Shauna doesn't twitch or loosen her grip, in any shape or form. Rather, Shauna decides to pull
Jackie’s wrist a bit closer to herself. Jackie automatically slips forward, which effectively closes the
short amount of distance between them. They’re so close now, that Shauna can make out all of the
little freckles on Jackie’s nose and cheeks. Like, Shauna can now feel Jackie’s heated breaths,
brushing against the dry skin on her own face. And, well. Jackie begins to stare at Shauna
carefully, so Shauna instinctively matches her meticulous gaze. It’s not long before Jackie’s hazel
eyes are suddenly flicking to Shauna’s lips, in tacit understanding.

They lean in at the same time and force their lips to smash together, in a messy tangle of spit and
teeth. Shauna immediately loosens her hold on Jackie’s wrist, just so that she can free up her hand
and use it to grope at Jackie’s waist. She apparently squeezes a bit too tight, because Jackie’s lips
part and she gasps. But, surprisingly enough, Jackie doesn’t push Shauna away. She actually
allows Shauna to slip her tongue right into her mouth, without an overdramatic uproar.

And then, Jackie is weaving her hand through Shauna’s hair, just so that she can use the leverage to
steer Shauna toward a nearby tree. Her skull hits its trunk with a faint thunk, but Jackie doesn’t
freeze up or pause to assess any damage, in the slightest. She actually decides to do the opposite,
instead. While Shauna desperately attempts to catch her breath, Jackie takes advantage of her
weakened state and bites down on her bottom lip. Shauna groans, but other than that, neither of
them say a word or falter in their eagerness.

If anything, the little noises that Shauna huffs out spur Jackie to grow even bolder with her actions.
As soon as Shauna really starts to frantically gasp for air, Jackie tears her mouth right off of her
lips. But, thankfully, Shauna isn’t granted much time to worry about this being over. Before Shauna
can even think to say anything, Jackie is scraping her teeth and trailing her lips against the curve of
Shauna’s neck. Shauna’s breath hitches and she frantically scrambles to grab ahold of Jackie’s
shoulders, while Jackie begins to fumble around with Shauna’s shoelace belt.

“Jax. Jackie. I’m sorry," Shauna gasps, before craning her neck further to the side. Jackie doesn’t
verbally respond, but she trails her lips upward and starts to nip at the skin right beneath Shauna’s
ear. She also manages to slip a thigh between Shauna’s legs, even as she tears at the knot attached
to the end of Shauna's tattered shoe-lace fabric. “I missed you.”

Jackie pulls her lips back a bit and sighs against Shauna’s neck, but her hands keep moving on her
jean-clad hips. “Don’t talk,” Jackie all but whines, before latching her mouth back onto Shauna’s
neck. It sounds more like a plea than a command, which is so out of character for Jackie. “Please.”

“Why?” Shauna instinctively states, while shifting one of her hands upward. She threads her fingers
through Jackie’s hair, right as Jackie manages to rip the shoelace belt clean off. Her hands move to
the button on Shauna’s jeans, but Shauna refuses to let this conversation shrivel up and die. “I
really did. I— I still do. I miss you.”

“Stop,” Jackie states, with a little more edge this time. Her voice is thick and a bit gravelly, with a
distinct hint of desperation weaved into it. She sniffles a bit, but Shauna can barely hear it over the
sound of her heavy breathing. “Stop— stop saying that.”
“No,” Shauna firmly declares, which tears an exasperated huff from the back of Jackie’s throat. She
pops the button at the front of Shauna’s jeans and shifts to tear down the zipper, right as Shauna
decides to proclaim the statement that Jackie now finds absolutely harrowing. “I love you,
Jackie.”

It’s like one of those Gatorade buckets of ice water that Misty fucking Quigley used to bring to
soccer practice, has been unceremoniously dumped over Jackie’s head. Jackie's hand freezes and
she stops kissing Shauna's neck, before sniffling right against her cold skin. Her entire body then
jolts away from Shauna, almost like her limbs have just been zapped with some kind of electric
current. So, Shauna reluctantly tears open her eyelids, after rubbing her palms into them for moral
support. And, of course, Shauna finds Jackie staring back at her with glassy eyes and a panicked
look on her face.

“This was a bad idea,” Jackie admits, rather numbly. She nibbles at her lip and massages her eyes,
while Shauna just blinks at her in confusion. And then, Jackie says something so horrific, that
Shauna’s stomach automatically sinks like a weight in water. “We’re not good for each other.
Natalie’s right.”

“Natalie? Are you fucking serious? She just wants you all to herself!” Shauna automatically snaps,
which prompts Jackie to visibly flinch. And, even though Shauna’s pretty sure that her stomach
acid is burning a hole through the snow beneath her feet, she manages to barrel onwards. “She
knew about the Jeff thing for months! And she didn’t tell you, Jackie! So why are you even
listening to her? She doesn’t know shit. Plus—”

“She didn’t tell me about Jeff, because she knew that I would freak the fuck out! And she was
right, because I literally fucking did!” Jackie fires back, with a scowl. She shakes her head and
weaves a hand through her own hair, before tugging at it roughly. “Fuck, Shauna. Natalie is not
trying to get with me. She’s in love with stupid fucking Travis. And— and everything that Nat and
I have done, was to piss you and him off! We’re just friends. Platonic friends! Unlike you and Jeff!”

Shauna grits her teeth, in order to subdue the red-hot rage that has begun to re-emerge within the
pit of her stomach. She shoots Jackie a death glare, before repeating herself for what feels like the
one-millionth time. “Jackie. I do not give a fuck about Jeff. I made a mistake. A stupid, drunk
mistake.”

“Yeah, no fucking shit. And— and I could’ve forgiven you, eventually. If you— if you didn’t lie to
me about it!” Jackie snaps, with a sharp edge to her voice. The words burst out of her mouth like
rapid gunfire, which spurs Shauna to wince. “It’s like… fuck. You clearly just— you just don’t
trust me, at all! And if we don’t have trust… we have nothing!”

Shauna’s eyes practically bulge out of their lids, right as Jackie decides to huff out a serrated scoff.
“I do trust you, Jackie! I just— I just didn’t tell you about Jeff, because I knew—”

“This isn’t just about Jeff. You lied to me about Brown, too! It’s like— it’s like you can never give
me the benefit of the doubt! Ever!” Jackie automatically spits out, in order to prevent Shauna from
blurting out another weak excuse. “You refused to believe that I could ever forgive you, for the
Jeff thing. You also couldn’t see me being proud of you for getting into Brown. I mean, seriously?
Do you just— do you just see me as this massive fucking bitch? Huh? You act like I’m evil!”

Shauna's heart throbs, while she attempts to muster up the courage to explain her warped way of
thinking. “That’s not— that’s not why I lied to you, Jackie. I was— I was just so disgusted with
myself. I hated myself for sleeping with Jeff. I still do. And— and I didn’t want to talk about it. All
I wanted to do was forget about it,” Shauna stammers out, while tears begin to pool at her eyelids.
Jackie just puffs out a heavy sigh, which really conveys how exhausted Shauna has made her.
“And, fuck. I didn’t tell you about Brown, because I knew how excited you were about rooming
together at Rutgers. I just— I just didn’t want to break your heart, Jackie. It’s not that I—”

“Well you did, anyways…” Jackie flatly states, like it’s a known fact. She pinches the bridge of her
nose and shakes her head, while scrutinizing the frown on Shauna’s face. “Like, sure. I would’ve
been upset… for a little bit. But— but it’s just a fucking school, Shauna. Long distance exists! And
— and I always want what’s best for you. I don’t get why you don’t believe that.”

“I do— I just. I don’t know, Jax. I’m— I’m just so fucked-up,” Shauna tearfully admits, before
clearing her mucus-filled throat. She sniffles a bit, then continues on with her disjointed tirade. “All
I do is mess shit up, all the fucking time. And— and I don’t know why. I wish I wasn’t like this, but
I am.”

Shauna wheezes out a sharp sob and covers her face with her hands, while Jackie just hesitantly
stares at her. Her mouth droops open and closed a few times, but it takes forever for Jackie to
actually say something. “Look. I think— I think we’re just… toxic,” Jackie sputters out, which
spurs Shauna to rip her palms right off of her eyes. She shakes her head and blubbers incoherently,
while Jackie tearfully rambles onward. “Shauna. You— you know that I’m right. I mean— fuck.
We both almost killed ourselves, Shauna. Over each other. Do you even realize how fucked up
that is?”

“What?” Shauna manages to croak out, even though she currently feels like she is being suffocated
to death. Her heart stings and confusion courses through her veins, while Jackie gawks back at her
in surprise. She shakes her head back and forth, which allows her tears to freely flow down her
cheeks. “What are you— what? You— you—”

“Did you— did you seriously think that I just… decided to take a little nap in the snow?” Jackie
asks, with a slight quiver in her voice. She licks her lips and gazes at Shauna intently, which just
shatters the weak dam guarding Shauna’s eyes. Tears pour out of her baby browns like a waterfall
now, staining her cheeks and her shirt and the snow beneath her feet with a layer of salt. Jesus fuck.
“I stayed out here and waited for you to come get me, but you never did! So— so I just… gave
up!”

“I fell asleep, Jackie! I didn’t— I didn’t want you to die!” Shauna wails, in a way that absolutely
shreds her vocal cords. Her body shakes and convulses as sobs rip through her body, almost of
their own accord. “How could you— how could you even think that? I can’t live without you,
Jackie. So— so why the fuck would you even think to do that to me. Or to yourself. Especially—”

“Shauna. I read your entire journal. I know about the fucking underwire and the botched abortion.
So— so don’t even start with me! I don’t even want to hear it!” Jackie fires back, before jutting her
finger into Shauna’s face. And, well. Shauna’s stomach instinctively curdles and sours, at the mere
thought of Jackie reading that particular passage. “You— you decided it was a better idea to try
and pull off a back-alley abortion, instead of telling me the truth! Death seemed like a better
option, than just— just telling me that you boned Jeff!”

“I didn’t want it! I still don’t want it!” Shauna practically roars, which causes Jackie to stumble
back a bit. There’s an indistinguishable look on her face, which Shauna has legitimately never seen
before, even with all of their years of knowing one another. So, Shauna sucks in a deep breath and
closes her eyes, before attempting to explain herself. “All I want to do is forget about Jeff. And—
and about how much I’ve hurt you. But— but this stupid baby is like, a reminder of how awful I
am,” Shauna painfully admits, with a soft sigh. She then cracks open her eyes and finds Jackie
staring at her, with that same unreadable look on her face. “It— it seemed like a good idea. I just—
I just wasn’t thinking. All I was thinking about, was how much I wanted it gone.”
They stare at each other with unblinking eyes and in stale silence, for what feels like an eternity to
Shauna. And then, suddenly, Jackie decides to pipe up. “I think we should just… steer clear of
each other. For a while,” Jackie whispers, on a swallow. She slowly backs away from Shauna,
with her arms raised and her mouth twisted into a line. And, well. Although Jackie is doing a stand-
up job at maintaining her composure, Shauna is crumbling like a shitty sand castle. She shakes her
head and attempts to place her hand to Jackie’s cheek, but Jackie easily cranes her face out of the
way. “I’m sorry. But— but we’re just… we’re just not good for each other.”

And then, Jackie is straggling through the snow and back towards the cabin, way before Shauna’s
short-circuiting brain can even manage to formulate a sentence. So, while Jackie inches closer and
closer to the safety of the rickety porch, Shauna decides to tip her head back. The tree bark scrapes
the back of her skull and her neck, but Shauna honestly could not care less. She peers up at the sky
and wishes for some sort of Jackie-related miracle, until she suddenly hears the tell-tale sound of a
tree branch snapping.

Shauna automatically whips her entire body around, just so that she can follow the sound. And,
surprisingly enough, Shauna’s glassy eyes immediately land on Lottie. She’s standing a few feet
away from Shauna, with a glimmer in her eye and a timid look on her face. Lottie then plasters on a
forced smile and offers Shauna a curt wave, before trekking closer to her.

“How— how long have you been out here?” Shauna asks, right as Lottie sidles up beside her.
Lottie remains absolutely silent, after opting to answer Shauna’s question by shrugging and
studying her tear-stained face. Her eyes meticulously glide across Shauna’s features like a literal
probe, which spurs Shauna to shiver. Shauna’s back automatically stiffens like a wooden plank, but
Lottie’s invasive eyes simply continue to scan her. “Did you— did you hear any of—”

“Can I show you something?” Lottie casually asks, after allowing her eyes to flit back to Shauna’s
watery ones. And, well. Shauna can’t help but squint at her, in clear-cut confusion. So, of course,
Lottie attempts to sweeten the deal and sink a hook into Shauna. “It’s not that far of a walk. And I
really think you’ll like it.”

In a matter of seconds, Shauna’s cloudy head jerks up and down, of its own accord. She then tears
her back off of the tree, before straightening up like a literal ruler. But, somehow, Shauna’s odd
demeanor seems to please Lottie even more. Her forced smile splits into an authentic— yet
somewhat eerie— grin, right before she extends a hand toward Shauna. And, well. Shauna wastes
no time in grabbing it, even though Lottie’s presence and conduct are kind of giving her the creeps.

Instead of offering Shauna any bits of valuable information on this mysterious surprise, Lottie opts
to wordlessly whisk Shauna right out of the clearing and deeper into the snow-drenched forest.

Even as Lottie begins to tug Shauna behind her like a dog on a leash, Shauna manages to swivel her
head around. She expects to spot Jackie wandering towards the cabin in the distance, but Shauna
finds absolutely zero traces of her. It’s honestly like she has disappeared into thin air.

Just like she has disappeared from Shauna’s life.

So, Shauna huffs out a dejected sigh, before rotating her head back around. She rubs the tears out
of her eyes and walks with a bit more purpose, in order to maintain her composure in front of
Lottie.

“Is that— is that Jackie’s necklace?”

Shauna is standing in the clearing where the Yellowjackets threw Doomcoming, with her head
tipped downward and her eyes glued to the inside of a hollowed-out tree trunk. Her eyes flicker
between Jackie’s necklace and the shriveled-up heart, which used to belong to the bear that Lottie
recently killed. And, well. A shiver instantly rushes up Shauna’s spine, right after she glances back
up at Lottie. Shauna’s trembling frame isn’t a result of the frigid temperature or the fresh snow
currently falling, at all. Her shivering is actually an automatic response to Lottie’s lifeless eyes,
which are currently ticking between Shauna’s anxious face and the little gold necklace on the
ground.

“How did you— how did you find it?” Shauna asks, before swallowing down the lump in her
throat. Lottie’s face falls flat, while her shoulders sag like the cushions on the living room couch.
“When did you—”

“They really wanted Jackie. She was supposed to freeze,” Lottie states, rather cryptically. She
shakes her head and peers up at the sky, before allowing her ears to perk up. “I had to give them
something. Or else— or else we would starve,” Lottie proclaims, which prompts Shauna’s stomach
to lurch. And then, Lottie whips her head downward, just so that she can pin Shauna with a frigid
look. “The spirits are angry, Shauna. Jackie is disrespectful to them. She doesn’t appreciate their
gifts, or their help, or their—”

Instead of interrogating Lottie on her weird-ass sentiments, Shauna focuses all of her energy and
attention on what she believes is the most important task at hand. Like, Shauna needs to give that
necklace to Jackie, as soon as humanly possible. Plus, Lottie is probably harmless. Sure, she's been
a little off lately, but Shauna trusts Van. And, well. Van likes Lottie, so...

Shauna decides to forego her line of questioning, for now.

“Can I— can I have that necklace?” Shauna asks, while jutting a finger towards the little gold
chain. Although Shauna believes that it’s a fairly simple request, Lottie starts to gawk at her like
she has just requested a briefcase full of one-hundred-dollar bills. And, well. Lottie’s gaze makes
Shauna so nervous, that she instinctively wheezes out a nervous laugh. Her eyes begin to water
from the physical strain that it takes to force it out, while her nose twitches from the rotten smell of
the bear’s heart. So much for cutting through the thick tension, Shipman! “It’s just… Jackie loves
that necklace. It’s, uh. Well, it’s a family heirloom. Her grandma got it for her. The uh— the good
one. Not the bad one. And, trust me, Lot. The bad one is a straight-up—”

“I can’t give it to you, unless more blood is spilled. The bear’s heart isn’t beating anymore. It’s
worthless to them. And… I can’t upset them, Shauna…” Lottie trails off, with a wistful sigh. She
gazes longingly at the bruised-up organ, which is now covered in a layer of snowflakes and a
variety of insect bites. And then, it’s like Lottie’s been graced with an epiphany straight from God
himself, because she suddenly begins to speak a mile a minute. “How about this, Shauna? I give
you the necklace, if you give me your knife and promise to come back here. For a prayer service…
with Misty, Van, and I. But... you can't tell Jackie about it. Or Taissa. They aren't... believers.”

“Yes, Yes… I, uh. Sure?” Shauna frantically agrees, because she will legitimately do anything and
everything for that goddamn necklace. And, well. She will honestly do anything for Jackie herself,
even though Jackie might vehemently disagree with that assessment. “Sounds… fun?” Shauna
states, with a saccharine sweet voice. Lottie just blankly stares at her, while she rummages through
her pockets, like a fucking idiot. Thankfully, Shauna manages to find the knife in her Varsity
jacket, fairly quickly. She then whips it out of her pocket so fast, that it nearly flies right into the
snow. “I, uh. Here.”

With a thin smile on her face and a mysterious twinkle in her eye, Lottie snatches the knife’s
handle out of Shauna’s grip. And then, in the blink of an eye, Lottie is turning her other palm over
 and slicing it open with the blade. Blood oozes onto the snow-covered ground, which streaks the
white powder with droplets of crimson red. Shauna’s face pales as she glances between Lottie’s
open wound and her eyes, which are currently devoid of any color or spark.

“Lot—” Shauna starts, before abruptly cutting herself off. Lottie’s face suddenly lights up and the
color returns to her eyes, right as she glances down at her own palm. Her lips twitch into a smile
and her legs carry her forward, forcing her right in front of the tree-trunk altar. “Um, what are
you—”

“Like I said, Shauna. It wanted more blood,” Lottie states, matter-of-factly. She drops to her knees
in front of the hollowed-out tree, then clenches her torn-up hand into a fist. Unsurprisingly, Lottie
automatically grits her teeth and winces, while Shauna just gawks at her. Her mouth droops open in
horror and disgust, right as Lottie’s blood begins to trickle down her sweater-clad forearm. Lottie
then swivels her head around to smile at Shauna, while her blood starts to dribble directly onto the
bear's heart. “You’ll begin to understand soon, Shauna. But, for now…” Lottie buzzes, with a lively
lilt to her voice. She reaches down and grabs the necklace with her free hand, before shoving it
right into the front pocket of Shauna’s jeans. “Leave.”

Shauna’s mouth opens and closes a few times, but no words escape her lips. She gazes between the
fresh blood stain on the ground and Lottie’s face, which is now twisted into a scowl. And, well. For
once in her life, Shauna decides that she doesn’t need to be told something twice. She nods her head
rather awkwardly, then stumbles backward. Thankfully, Shauna successfully manages to catch
herself, right before she falls into a pile of Lottie’s blood. And then, Shauna wastes no time in
scrambling back to the cabin, like a graceless toddler.

On the long trek back, Shauna’s weary brain starts to spiral and whirl. And, as per fucking usual, a
bunch of terrible snapshots swirl around the forefront of her mind. Lottie, with her bloody cut.
Jackie with Natalie, in the bedroom. Jackie in the snow, with frost all over her face. Jackie
screaming at Shauna, with tears in her eyes.

And, well. Even though Shauna has had a lot of shitty days, she quickly deduces that this one might
be in the running for the All-Time Worst award.

Chapter End Notes

rip shipman.

coming up next: jackies bday!! she gets sick and shauna takes care of her, while lottie
tries to force shauna to live up to her promise.
 nyquil nineteenth
Chapter Summary

The gesture prompts Shauna’s eyes to reluctantly flicker open, but her lips remain
pursed in a perfect pout. Jackie gazes back at her with darkened eyes, while her chest
heaves and her mouth sags open. “I— I shouldn’t have—” Jackie brutally starts,
before hunching over and sputtering out another bark-like cough. Shauna instinctively
cringes, but she isn’t sure if it’s because of Jackie’s phlegmy cough or Jackie’s train of
thought. And, well. Shauna must be pulling a sour face or the most pitiful frown in the
world, because Jackie begins to rasp out reassurances between each body-wracking
hack. “That’s not—” Cough. “What I— I meant—” Cough. “I just— I just don’t want
—” Cough. “To— to get you—” Cough. “Sick.”

Or: Shauna tries to take care of Jackie-- who is currently miserable and sick with the
flu-- with basically zero medical supplies.

Chapter Notes

jackies older than shauna in this cuz that damn booklet or whatever w her birthdate
released after i started this fic so... L.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

November 21st, 1996

The door to Javi and Travis’ bedroom is slightly cracked, so Shauna immediately pushes it open a
bit further, with careful precision. It creaks just a little bit as it wobbles on its hinges, which makes
Shauna cringe to herself. Her heart thumps in her chest like a snare drum, as she slowly slips
through the narrow doorway and into the stuffy bedroom. And, well. Shauna’s anxiety levels soar
through the roof, once she spots a mountain of mismatched blankets, piled obnoxiously high on
Javi and Travis’ designated bed. She automatically tiptoes toward it, while faint flickers of sunlight
stream through the cob-web-clad windows and fill the room with golden glares. In a matter of
seconds, Shauna manages to make it to the edge of the dilapidated mattress. She then clutches onto
the fabric of one of the blankets and slowly peels it back, until a head covered in familiar, light
brown waves peeks out of the massive heap.

“You—” Cough. “Shouldn’t be in here—” Cough. “Shauna—” Cough. “I might— I might—”

Cough. “Get you sick.”

Jackie is currently lying in Travis and Javi’s designated bed, with her head propped up on her
striped pillow. Her half-lidded eyes meet Shauna’s and instantly begin to water, right as she breaks
down into another wave of unceremonious, bark-like coughs. A sheen of sweat is covering her
forehead, her light brown hair is basically drenched, and her back is hunched over from her
absolutely relentless hacking fit. Jackie clutches at the sweat-drenched fabric of Shauna’s
Wiskayok ringer-tee— which she allegedly stole prior to the journal incident— while cough after
cough wracks her body. Her stomach twitches and her entire body shakes from the force of her
raspy barks, which eventually simmer down into painful croaks and gravelly whimpers.

She then begins to rub at her throat and pout, while Shauna studies her pale face intently. Like,
Jackie looks so frail and so gaunt, that Shauna is genuinely terrified that this queen-sized mattress
might swallow her whole. So, Shauna offers her a sympathetic frown and inches closer to the bed,
while Jackie glances up at her with bloodshot eyes. Shauna then plops directly onto the empty
expanse of cold mattress fabric, right next to Jackie. And, well. Unsurprisingly, Jackie decides to
act like Shauna has just zapped her with a taser. Her eyes flash wider and her sluggish body
bounces toward the edge of the mattress, which causes her to nearly topple off of it.

Shauna bites her lip and rolls her eyes lightly, then thrusts a hand toward Jackie’s sweaty hair. And,
shockingly enough, Jackie doesn’t bat Shauna’s hand away or beg her to leave. She glances up at
her with soft eyes and shuffles her body a bit closer to Shauna’s, before allowing her heavy eyelids
to drift closed. Shauna sighs and continues to run her fingers through Jackie’s hair, which elicits a
series of contented hums. But, of course, Jackie’s contented little sighs die in her scratchy throat,
right as Shauna finally decides to speak.

“Misty says you have the flu, Jackie. Why didn’t you tell me?” Shauna gently prods, while
nibbling at her lip. Jackie’s mouth instinctively twists into a frown and her bright red nose
scrunches up all adorably, but her eyes remain firmly shut. So, Shauna heaves out a heavy sigh and
clears her throat, just to prevent her voice from potentially cracking. Like, although the flu
probably wouldn’t kill Jackie at home, Shauna recognizes how dangerous it is to get sick out here.
Without a hospital or a pharmacy nearby, legitimately anything and everything could take a
Yellowjacket out for the count. So, yeah. Shauna wishes that she could be the sick one, instead of
Jackie. She also wishes that Jackie hadn’t pretended to be healthy and hadn’t decided to resume
doing chores outside, while secretly bitching to Mari about having a frog in her throat. “She said
that you’ve been hacking up a lung for at least two days, Jax. And— and Mari told me that you’ve
been complaining about a sore throat for weeks. So, why— why didn’t you think to tell—”

“I’m fine, Shauna. Misty is just being a fucking drama queen. It’s just a little—” Jackie manages to
rasp out, before hunching over and heaving out yet another lung-shattering hack. Her eyes water
and her nose runs, but Jackie manages to wipe her tears and her mucus away, in record-breaking
time. She then plasters on the weakest smile that Shauna has ever seen, before squeaking out one
more little croak. And, well. Shauna instinctively quirks up an eyebrow in challenge, which leads
Jackie to choke out a series of flustered statements. “It’s just a little cold. And it’s seriously not
your problem, so… leave. Like, I really just want to be alone and sleep some more.”

Those brutal words prick at Shauna’s heart, primarily because they double as a horrific reminder of
how tense things have gotten between her and Jackie. They have barely spoken since their half
hook-up in the woods, mainly because Jackie has been avoiding her gaze and her presence like the
fucking plague. She has been clinging to Natalie’s hip and traipsing around the woods with her on
empty hunting excursions, for weeks. And, well. Ironically enough, Jackie has actually managed to
catch something similar to the bubonic fucking plague, instead of a goddamn animal.

But, of course, Shauna refuses to let Jackie’s harsh words deter her. She flexes her fingers around
the handle of her backpack, which is currently trapped within her firm grasp. Shauna then loosens
her grip and drops the faded bag, right between her body and Jackie’s shivering one. And,
unsurprisingly, Jackie’s nosy eyes instantly dart between Shauna’s face and the half-open
knapsack. There is a bewildered look etched onto her lean face, while she watches Shauna whip out
an assortment of strange supplies.

First, Shauna hands Jackie a plastic bottle that is filled with so much hot water, that it has begun to
steam like a goddamn jacuzzi. Next, Shauna wrings out a half-empty bottle of Nyquil, which
immediately elicits an audible wince from Jackie. And then, after dropping the Nyquil onto the
mattress, Shauna blindly fishes around the bottom of her backpack. After a few seconds, her hand
lands on a singular Luden’s cough drop, which she then places directly onto Jackie’s lap. Jackie
absently glances between the aforementioned cherry lozenge and Shauna’s furrowed brow, while
Shauna unzips the front pocket of her backpack. Shauna then digs out a squished package of
Peanut M&Ms, which she frivolously tosses right next to the miniature bottle of bright green
liquid.

When Shauna finally glances back up at Jackie, she expects to find a little glimmer in her eyes or a
somewhat appreciative smile on her face. But, nope. Weirdly enough, Shauna is actually met with
a heavy frown and a glassy gaze, which is currently pointed directly at the bent-up pouch of Peanut
fucking M&Ms. Jackie glares at the candy with so much sorrow in her eyes, that Shauna almost
wants to deck herself in the fucking face.

Shit.

Shauna’s face falls almost instantly, which allows her to mirror Jackie’s crestfallen look within
seconds. The guilt and the shame begin to gnaw at Shauna’s fragile bones, like a pair of wild
wolves in search of a fresh meal. And, well. Her stomach swooshes and her brain stings, as soon as
the realization drills her like a highspeed, runaway railcar. That packet of Peanut M&Ms is the
exact same one that Shauna brought to their first date, which took place in that little flowery
clearing that Jackie just loves. Shauna had practically shaken Jackie awake one morning and
dragged her there, under the pretense of having a picnic. But, well. As much as Shauna genuinely
did want to spend time with Jackie, she primarily brought her there just so that Natalie couldn’t
sink her bloodthirsty fangs in her. And, unsurprisingly, Jackie and Shauna never actually did get to
the picnic portion during that specific date. They had spent so much time talking and laughing, that
they ended up returning to the cabin with their stomachs completely empty. The piercing sound of
the hunting rifle had practically begged them to come back, so Shauna had carelessly shoved the
Peanut M&Ms right back into her backpack, before hauling a rather concerned Jackie to the
warmth and safety of the cabin.

Jackie sniffles and juts the butts of her palms into her eyes, just so that she can wipe the fresh layers
of tears away from her irises. After a few seconds of heavy rubbing and some cough sputtering,
Jackie yanks her hands away from her face. She finally allows her eyes to swivel toward Shauna’s
nervous ones, while a heavy scowl works its way onto her fragile features.

Yikes.

Yet again, Shauna has successfully managed to colossally fuck up. She has frivolously hurt Jackie
and her fragile feelings, for what feels like the one-millionth time this month. Like, Jackie’s
somewhat bold take might actually be right, considering how frivolous and careless Shauna is with
her actions. Shauna really is the dumbest person to ever get into an Ivy League school, due in part
to how little she employs that big-ass brain of hers.

“You— you still have those?” Jackie suddenly asks, with a wobbly voice. The shaky lilt to her tone
catches Shauna so off-guard, that she immediately claws her way out of the vortex that is her own,
self-loathing mind. And, well. As soon as Shauna snaps back into reality, she responds to Jackie’s
question with a somewhat awkward head jerk. “Why? You should’ve eaten them by—”

“I was, uh… saving them. In case we went back, y’know?” Shauna automatically declares, like the
complete dumb-ass that she is. In a matter of seconds, Jackie’s scowl immediately slips off of her
face, almost like it was made entirely out of melted butter. She levels Shauna with a flat look and a
stern tinge in her hazel eyes, which forces her to sputter in confusion. Like, of course, Shauna
decides to frantically grasp at straws and stutter incoherently. She could have easily chosen the
smarter route and scoured her weary brain for reasons to explain Jackie’s cold countenance, but she
is apparently way too stupid for that. “Plus, I— I knew that something like this would happen. One
of us would get really sick, there would be no food to eat, and we—”

“We did go back, just so that you could fuck me and lie to my face!” Jackie laments, before her
sharp words dissolve into another round of pitiful coughs. She crosses her arms over her chest and
glares at Shauna’s drooping jaw, while she practically hacks up a fucking lung. There is a flair of
determination in her fiery— as well as glassy— eyes, which just makes Shauna’s skin crawl and
itch. So, once Jackie finishes coughing and relaunches her husky-voiced rant, Shauna begins to
anxiously scratch at her own arms. “God, of course you would forget about that. I forgot that sex
doesn’t matter to you. Love doesn’t matter to you, either. And— and I don’t even matter to—”

“If you didn’t matter to me, why the hell would I be in here risking a fucking illness? Huh,
Jackie?” Shauna automatically fires back, before cringing at her own, vicious tone. Unsurprisingly,
Jackie glowers back at Shauna, with her lips sourly pursed in a straight line and her eyebrows
knitted together. But, well. In typical fashion, Shauna decides to rattle off a series of angered
remarks, instead of powering up her brain. “And— and why the fuck would I risk getting
pneumonia, to get this thing back?” Shauna challenges, while cocking her jaw. She then robotically
shoves her hand into the back pocket of her faded jeans, before unceremoniously whipping out
Jackie’s gold necklace and placing it onto her lap. And, well. Jackie’s eyes go gooey and her sour
face instantly softens, at the mere sight of the twinkling chain. Unsurprisingly, Shauna is way too
hell-bent on getting her point across, to even notice the lovestruck and all-around mushy
expression, that is currently pointed in her general direction. “Like, I fucking love you, Jackie. I
don’t get what else I have to do, to prove that to you. I mean, I’ve literally been counting down the
days until your birthday, by guessing the time and using the little calendar in my journ—”

Before Shauna can finish uttering the most despicable word in Jackie’s vocabulary, a clammy hand
is framing her jaw and tipping it upward. Shauna’s eyes close of their own accord, right as Jackie
leans in closer and captures her lips in an absolutely searing kiss. Her other hand finds its way into
Shauna’s hair and tightens around a clump of dark waves, while Shauna begins to match Jackie’s
intensity and urgency.

Jackie consumes all of Shauna’s senses, which makes it nearly impossible for her brain to calculate
how long they have actually been kissing. But, well. When Jackie does decide to tear her lips away
from Shauna’s rather swiftly, it still feels like their imprompt make-out session has ended way too
soon. So, Shauna instinctively keeps her eyes closed and chases after Jackie’s lips, even after she
has leaned back onto the soft fabric of her striped pillow. But, of course, Jackie is already two steps
ahead of Shauna. Even with her flu-like symptoms weighing her down, Jackie manages to plant a
palm onto Shauna’s chest and push her away.

The gesture prompts Shauna’s eyes to reluctantly flicker open, but her lips remain pursed in a
perfect pout. Jackie gazes back at her with darkened eyes, while her chest heaves and her mouth
sags open. “I— I shouldn’t have—” Jackie brutally starts, before hunching over and sputtering out
another bark-like cough. Shauna instinctively cringes, but she isn’t sure if it’s because of Jackie’s
phlegmy cough or Jackie’s train of thought. And, well. Shauna must be pulling a sour face or the
most pitiful frown in the world, because Jackie begins to rasp out reassurances between each body-
wracking hack. “That’s not—” Cough. “What I— I meant—” Cough. “I just— I just don’t want—”
Cough. “To— to get you—” Cough. “Sick.”

“Jax. You know how my mom is. I’m up to date on all my flu shots,” Shauna murmurs, while
examining Jackie’s conduct closely. She has begun to spin the little gold chain around her fingers,
with a thinly-veiled smile on her face. It’s also fairly clear that Jackie is fighting against the urge to
cough some more, because her chest keeps twitching and she keeps huffing out these little squeaky
noises. And, well. Jackie sounds so pathetic, that Shauna can’t help but heave out a sigh and
squeeze her blanket-covered thigh. “And… honestly? I’d take the flu any day of the week, if it
means that I get to kiss you again.”

Jackie glances up from the necklace dangling around her fingertips, just so that she can blink at
Shauna all lazily. “That’s very cute… but I’m serious. That can’t happen again,” Jackie sternly
states, which spurs Shauna’s stomach to sink. She nibbles at the inside of her lip and battles against
the urge to cry, until Jackie decides to add a husky amendment to her previous statement. “Look.
Nobody else needs to get sick, alright? Especially not… you,” Jackie awkwardly admits, while
gesturing a reluctant hand towards Shauna’s rapidly growing baby bump. Shauna sucks in a deep
breath and jerkily bobs her head, just once. “Plus, uh. I think we should… talk. About— about
this,” Jackie quietly murmurs, before thrusting her necklace-clad hand right into Shauna’s face.
She slowly sways the little gold chain in front of Shauna’s eyes, which sends the heart-shaped
pendant swinging hypnotically. “Like, where’d you find it? How’d you find it? And— and what
were you saying about my… birthday?”

“Um, I— I’ve been digging around. In the snow. Looking for it. Since uh, y’know. The— the
incident,” Shauna stammers out, before forcing a sheepish smile onto her face. Jackie examines
Shauna’s flustered face with an undecipherable glimmer in her hazel eyes, which just prompts
Shauna to nervously prattle off even more half-baked information. Like, obviously, Shauna can’t
tell Jackie about Lottie’s incredibly bizarre behavior. And, well. As much as Shauna hates lying to
Jackie, it’s not like initiating a proxy war between her and Lottie is within any of the
Yellowjackets’ best interests. So, Shauna opts to lie to Jackie all over again, even though she
absolutely despises herself for it. “But— but Lottie found it. Before I did. And she— she just…
gave it back to me. To give to you. I guess she, um. She thought it would stop us… from fighting
more,” Shauna lies, straight through her teeth. As per usual, Jackie is none the fucking wiser. She
goggles at Shauna with these big and bright moon-like eyes, while she attempts to hide her
satisfied little smile. “And I’ve been… uh. I’ve been keeping track of the days here, by tallying
sunrises and sunsets. There’s, um. A calendar. In my— in my… you know what,” Shauna
awkwardly professes, with a wince. Even though it’s insanely childish, Shauna refuses to say that
wretched word. And, honestly, Jackie seems more than thrilled with Shauna’s desire to erase that
particular J-word from her vocabulary. She resolutely cocks her chin and offers Shauna an
encouraging grin, which spurs her to continue on. “So… yeah. Today is your birthday. Or, it’s
your… birthday-ish? I’m not sure if I’m totally right. It’s kinda hard to keep track, since there
aren’t any clocks and I—”

“So… that’s why you’ve been going outside so much? To— to look for my necklace?” Jackie
whispers, mostly to herself. It’s almost like she truly can’t believe that Shauna would do anything
nice for her, which just makes Shauna’s heart splinter into even more shards. And, well. Although
her chest hurts from Jackie’s lack of trust in her, Shauna still manages to jostle her head up and
down. “And you were looking for it… to surprise me? On my… birthday?”

Shauna scratches at the back of her neck and plasters on an anxious smile, before landing on the
most clumsy response of all fucking time. “I, uh. Guilty?” Shauna eventually stammers out, with a
clipped voice and shaky hands. The words spill out of her dried-out mouth like little dominoes,
toppling over each other in a jumbled-up mess. And, unsurprisingly, Jackie immediately quirks up
an inquisitive eyebrow and huffs out a hoarse chuckle.

Fuck.

Shauna pinches the bridge of her nose and squeezes her eyes shut, just so that she can avoid the
half-judgmental and half-haughty look, that has probably wormed its way onto Jackie’s face. Like,
wow. Shauna suddenly wants to kick herself in her own shins, because… what the fuck? That was
like, the perfect impersonation of Misty fucking Quigley. The delivery was awkward, the word
choice was archaic, and her voice sounded all pathetic and needy. Like, there is absolutely no way
that Jackie isn’t going to boot her out of this bedroom and ignore her for the rest—

Soft lips press against the sizzling skin on Shauna’s left cheek, which spurs her to wrench her
brown eyes open. Jackie then pulls back with a soft smile, before collecting all of her sweaty
strands of hair in one hand. With her slender neck exposed and her light brown waves held up in a
makeshift ponytail, Jackie begins to gaze at Shauna with a shy look in her eyes. “I really— thank
you. And, um…” Jackie stutters, with as much inelegance as Shauna evoked before. But, well.
Shauna still knows what Jackie is asking for, so she worldlessly extends a palm out and wiggles
her fingers a little bit. In a matter of seconds, Jackie plops the cold chain in Shauna’s hand and
rotates around a little bit. “Can you—”

“Yeah,” Shauna whispers, around a heavy breath. Now that Jackie’s back is facing her, Shauna
can’t help but allow her eyes to freely roam across the expanse of wet fabric clad to it. She then
huffs out a sigh and shuffles closer to Jackie, on her knees. And, well. Although the mattress dips a
bit under their combined weight and Shauna’s fingers keep shaking, she still manages to loop the
necklace around Jackie’s neck without fumbling like a major idiot. She then does up the little gold
clasp and leans back into her previous position, right as Jackie whirls back around. “Good?”

Jackie glances down at the heart-shaped pendant and squeezes it with her fingers, before settling
back onto her striped pillow. She then peers back up at Shauna, while she continues to fiddle with
the gold chain a bit anxiously. “Yeah. Thanks, again…” Jackie murmurs, with a sheepish little grin.
Shauna wordlessly nods and matches her smile, before smoothing out Jackie’s blanket for her.
“This is the best birthday-ish present I’ve ever gotten.”

Shauna’s grin grows wider and she puffs out a small laugh, right as Jackie decides to ramp up the
charm and the charisma. She also wheezes out a little giggle, but it automatically shifts into a slew
of scratchy coughs. The tears welling in Jackie’s eyes and the bright red blotches on her face spur
Shauna to grab the Nyquil, then wave it around like a magic wand. “You need to take this, Jax…”
Shauna sternly states, in a perfect impersonation of her own mother. And, unsurprisingly, Jackie
continues to hack and begins to vehemently shake her head. “Look. I know it’s shitty, but I think
it’ll help. At least a little bit.”

“Uh-uh,” Jackie manages to gasp out, before clearing her mucusy throat with one last cough. She
then lifts up a wobbly hand and aimlessly swats at the Nyquil bottle, almost like a cat might. And,
honestly, Shauna’s brow automatically wiggles of its own accord. “Seriously. I’m fine, Shauna.
So—” Cough. “Fine.” Cough.

After a few seconds of agitated wincing and painful struggling, Shauna manages to unscrew the
cap off of the mangled Nyquil bottle. Jackie's face instantly sours at the bitter scent of it, but
Shauna refuses to give up. She quickly pours a copious amount of the black licorice-smelling
liquid into the plastic cap, before thrusting it right into Jackie’s limp hand. And, well. Although
Jackie does wrap her fingers around the plastic with a begrudging huff, she makes no effort to
actually chug down the medication. Jackie just sneers at the green liquid with puckered-up lips,
before shaking her head in vehement disgust. She literally looks like the epitome of a cranky and
sick child, which Shauna finds kind of adorable. So, Shauna decides to grab ahold of Jackie’s cup-
clad hand, instead of lightly scolding her.

“C’mon, Jax. Don’t you wanna get better?” Shauna proclaims, with a rapidly shrinking grin. Jackie
shakes her head once and shoots Shauna a death glare, but it doesn’t actually have much bite to it.
If anything, Jackie’s decision to squint just accentuates her heavy undereye bags. And, well. The
purple hue lining Jackie’s eyelids immediately increases Shauna’s desire to force-feed her the
Nyquil, because it's now perfectly clear how much she genuinely needs some uninterrupted sleep.
“Just— just take this. It’ll help you feel better, so that you can do something fun for your birthday.”

Jackie’s weary eyes narrow even further, right as Shauna finally decides to guide Jackie’s cap-clad
hand to her own lips. She instantly steels up and cringes, once the plastic bumps up against her
grouchy pout. “Right. Because there are just… so many fun things to do here!” Jackie snarks,
although her tone is more casual than caustic. It comes out as a joke, but Shauna honestly doesn’t
have the energy for fun and games… anymore. So, Shauna chooses to tear a filthy play out of
Jackie’s own playbook, in order to coerce her into sipping that bitter liquid. She bats her pleading
eyes at Jackie and plasters on a pathetic frown, which spurs Jackie to heave out a put-upon sigh.
“Oh, Jesus. Fine… fuck,” Jackie grumbles, while batting Shauna’s hand away. She quickly downs
the entire cap of Nyquil like a tequila shot, which causes her to visibly grimace and outwardly
cringe. “Great. Hopefully, that helps me get better. God knows I’m in such a rush to celebrate my
birthday, by kicking at some clumps of dirt outside! Or, actually? Maybe we could… change it up.
We could step on some twigs, or pelt each other with—”

“Ok, ok. Point taken,” Shauna reluctantly admits, before snatching the bent plastic out of Jackie’s
grasp. She then wastes no time in screwing it back onto the Nyquil bottle, while Jackie gazes up at
her. “But you need to sleep, Jackie. And, honestly? You should probably eat, too…” Shauna adds,
while thrusting her finger toward the packet of Peanut M&Ms. Jackie’s eyes instinctively swivel
between the yellow packet and Shauna’s soft face, even as she begins to clamber off of the
mattress. But, well. In a surprise twist of fate, Jackie suddenly leans across the bed and grabs ahold
of Shauna’s forearm. She then uses all of her energy and strength, to force Shauna right back onto
the mattress. And, of course, Shauna shoots her a bewildered look and begins to sputter
nonsensically. “You… um. Earlier, you said that you wanted me to leave. And I— I don’t want to
annoy you. Or… make you feel worse. Uh, or ruin your birthday even more—”

“Please just— just shut up and lay the fuck down,” Jackie hoarsely commands, with a snappy and
strong tone. She then loosens her grip on Shauna’s arm and juts a finger at the empty pillow beside
her, which Shauna gazes blankly at. Like, Jackie has caught Shauna so off-guard, that she is
literally looking at her like she has just spoken a foreign fucking language. And, of course, that just
makes Jackie’s crankiness increase, tenfold. “Shauna? Hello?” Jackie snips, while tapping
Shauna’s skull with a closed fist. Surprise blooms on Shauna’s features, which just casts her entire
face in this bright red tint that makes Jackie smirk. ”It’s my birthday, which means you have to do
what I say. So… lay down. Now.”

For a few seconds, Shauna just silently peers down at Jackie, with comically large eyes and a
hanging jaw. She answers back by rolling her eyes all theatrically, which she punctuates with a
serrated scoff. And then, Jackie begins to pat the extra pillow with the butt of her hand, like
someone beckoning a sleepy dog might.

Ironically enough, that gesture is what spurs Shauna’s resolve to crumble like a sandcastle. Instead
of asking Jackie why she has suddenly changed her mind, Shauna wordlessly places the Nyquil
bottle onto the neighboring nightstand. Shauna then begins to collect all of the other items off of
the bed and quickly piles them next to the green-stained bottle, before leaning back against the
spare pillow and pulling a portion of the blanket over her torso. She is still really confused by
Jackie’s somewhat bizarre command, but she instinctively wiggles around on the mattress to get
comfortable. Out of her peripheral, Shauna catches Jackie watching her, with a twinkle in her eye
and a smug grin on her face. But, well. As soon as she notices Shauna looking, Jackie hides her
smile by puckering up her lips and shifting onto her side.
Before Shauna can even think to say or ask anything, Jackie is reaching behind her back and
grabbing Shauna’s forearm, all over again. She drapes it over her bony hip and then lets it go, just
so that she can tuck her slender hands between her cheek and her striped pillow. Jackie then lets out
an appreciative little hum, which spurs Shauna to sit up a little and crane her neck back. She uses
the vantage point to study Jackie’s slackened face and heavy eyelids, before cuddling in closer to
her.

Apparently, the Nyquil haze has seeped into Jackie’s bones and veins, in record time. And, well.
Shauna instinctively puffs out a sigh of relief and presses a light kiss to Jackie’s temple, right after
her eyelids fall closed from the weight of her sleepiness. Jackie then murmurs out a slew of
indecipherable words underneath her breath and wheezes out one final cough, before falling
absolutely silent. And, although Shauna really wants to ask Jackie about her sudden change of
heart, she opts to zip her own mouth firmly shut.

A variety of theories that might explain Jackie’s abrupt shift in behavior continue to swirl around
the forefront of Shauna’s mind, even as she melts into the stiff mattress and allows her eyes to drift
closed.

Maybe Jackie doesn’t actually hate her all that much, after all.

Smooth fingertips dance up and down the ridge of Shauna’s nose, while the mattress beneath her
back abruptly shifts. She exhales a soft sigh from her nose, right as a gentle pair of lips begins to
brush against the delicate patch of skin lying beneath her ear. A hand then wraps around the base
of her chin, just so that it can pinch and squeeze her cheeks up. “Shauna,” Jackie groggily
whispers, while slurring each syllable. Shauna nods into the pillow nestled against her cheek and
allows a faint smile to creep onto her mouth, but makes no effort to actually open her eyes. But,
well. Her somewhat delayed and entirely sleep-laden responses, spur Jackie to increase the
theatrics. She grabs the shoulder that Shauna isn’t currently laying on, then begins to shake it, to
and fro. “Wake up. Wake up. Wake up,” Jackie all but groans, in the whiny voice that she
constantly employs, whenever she really wants something. The high-pitched timbre of it pushes
Shauna to finally crack a singular eye open, just so that she can shoot a playful glare at Jackie’s
amused grin. “Thank you.”

“Uh-huh,” Shauna mumbles, before shifting onto her back. She yawns and rubs the sleep out of
her eyes, while Jackie remains propped up on one elbow. Her sluggish fingers begin to brush
through Shauna’s tousled hair, in an uncharacteristically aimless manner. “So… what’s up?”

Now that Shauna feels a bit more awake and alert, she finally pops open both of her brown eyes
and begins to actually study Jackie’s face. And, well. Her hazel irises look slightly glazed over, her
toothy smile looks a bit lopsided, and the apples of her cheeks are blossoming into this bright pink
color. She honestly looks just like Natalie does, whenever she’s high off of a weed brownie, or a
handful of joint puffs, or that bong that Lottie sometimes—

Fuck.

A scratchy giggle tickles the base of Jackie’s throat, before erupting out of her mouth like volcanic
lava. Her glassy eyes fly open wider and she tries her best to chew the sound back, by nibbling at
her lips. And, honestly, Jackie’s failed attempts to act sneaky basically validate all of Shauna’s
sneaking suspicions. She’s so skinny and malnourished, that a child-sized serving of Nyquil has left
her all loopy and dazed. Like, Jackie is absolutely high as shit, off of the little bottle of cold
medicine that Shauna’s mom had practically forced her to pack. She kept going on and on about
how Shauna might have trouble adjusting to the stale air in Seattle, which is why she begrudgingly
shoved the Nyquil into her bag, at the last possible second.
Jesus Christ.

And then, Jackie snaps Shauna out of her own brain fog, by offering up an inarticulate and delayed
response to Shauna’s question. “Mmmm… not much,” Jackie stammers out, before choking out a
singular cough. Her lazy smile doesn’t falter and her fingers keep dancing through darkened
waves, even as traces of worry begin to bloom all across Shauna’s face. “I just… wanted to…”
Jackie trails off, while her eyelids begin to blink open and closed. She also drags out all of her
words, by elongating each and every syllable. It’s almost like the words she wants to speak are
glued to her tongue and the roof of her mouth, like melted chunks of Halloween candy. “Talk to
you… Shauna.”

“Ok— ok,” Shauna hurriedly says, right as Jackie’s eyelids decide to drift fully closed. The elbow
she has been propping herself up on begins to wobble, so Shauna sits up and guides her back
against her striped pillow. And, well. In a matter of seconds, Jackie’s eyes burst back open and she
shifts onto her left side. She pivots so that they can remain face-to-face, then rolls even closer to
Shauna’s body. It’s only then, that Shauna really notices how dilated Jackie’s pupils are and how
downright delirious she looks. The sight makes Shauna’s stomach twist and turn, which spurs her
to launch into yet another disjointed ramble about Jackie’s health. “But, um. Maybe we should
talk… later? I think you could use a bit more sleep, Jax. You seem a little—”

“No… Shauna. Now,” Jackie dazedly bemoans, before nuzzling even further into her pillow. Every
word she utters spills out of her mouth like a gust of air, which makes it hard for Shauna to discern
her comments from all of the happy hums she keeps huffing out. She then loops a piece of Shauna’s
hair around her finger, which she twirls around like a baton. “It’s important. So, so important.”

Shauna eyes her somewhat wearily, but she ultimately gives in and offers Jackie a frenzied head
bob. “Ok… fine. We can talk for a bit, but I really think you need some more rest,” Shauna finds
herself mumbling, almost reflexively. Jackie nods her assent, then manages to weasel her body
even closer to Shauna’s. And, well. Shauna honestly knows this maneuver like the back of her
hand, at this point. So, within a matter of seconds, Shauna wordlessly shifts a bit. Jackie then
nuzzles right into her chest, so Shauna wraps an arm around her back and places a quick kiss on the
crown of her skull. She starts dragging her fingertips along the ridges of Jackie’s spine, even as she
blabs out some more health-related fears. “I just— I just think that the only thing that’s really
gonna help you… is sleep. Like, if we were home, I’d get you some soup or—”

“If you like Jeff, I would… understand.”

Although Shauna manages to crane her neck back rather robotically, the entire rest of her body
instantly stiffens and steels up. Those wobbly-sounding words ooze right into the fresh cut on
Shauna’s heart, which causes her chest to sting. It honestly feels like someone has just poured a
lethal mixture of alcohol and salt straight into all of her emotional wounds, but Jackie seems too
dazed to even realize that. She just nestles her face even further into Shauna’s chest, in order to
conceal the faraway look in her eyes and the notch between her eyebrows.

After several elongated seconds of awkward silence, Shauna successfully clears her sandpapery
throat. Her mouth opens and closes multiple times, which just makes her look like the human
incarnation of a plastic yo-yo. Eventually, Shauna does manage to formulate a semi-coherent
response. “Jackie. I don’t… no,” Shauna painfully wheezes, in a way that makes it seem like the
words have been squeezed out of her. Her head is currently whipping around like a racehorse
competing in the Kentucky Derby, which makes it nearly impossible to actually register any of the
words that she is blurting out. “It’s— trust me. He’s… fine. But, Jax. You know that I’m—”

“I think he likes you. Like— like actually. He would… um. Ask me about you. All the time,”
Jackie incoherently slurs, right into the thick fabric of Shauna’s flannel. The arm that Shauna has
wrapped around Jackie’s body turns completely rigid, which makes it so much harder to focus on
the task at hand. Like, Shauna can’t even focus on Jackie’s weight words, because her entire body
has gone fully numb. “I didn’t think anything of it… at first. But, uh… yeah. I just— I just wanted
to let you know that I wouldn’t be mad. Or, um. I’d be mad at first, but I won’t be mad for— for
like… forever. Like, I— I get it? I really get it, Shauna,” Jackie prattles on, which just makes
Shauna’s heart sink right into the depths of hell. She honestly doesn’t understand where Jackie is
going with this, whatsoever. And, truthfully, Shauna has no idea where this shit came from, either.
“Look, what I’m trying to say is that I— I just want what’s best for you. And, you can get married
to him and raise kids with—”

“Jackie, no. What the— what the fuck are you even saying right now? I don’t want to marry Jeff. I
— I don’t even want to see him again! I just want to be with you, Jackie. Just you. I swear!”
Shauna proclaims, with an ungodly amount of conviction. But, of course, Jackie doesn’t move a
singular muscle. It is nearly impossible for Shauna to decode the neutral expression on Jackie’s
face, which is why she tries to explain herself even more. “If we were home, I wouldn’t even be
having this baby. Ok? Like, I swear it’s not—”

“But— but you can be with him, Shauna. Like… you can have a normal life with him. No sneaking
around. Nice house. A big fat wedding, some kids. And— and I don’t want to ruin that for you,”
Jackie sniffles and blubbers, which just makes tears leak from Shauna’s own eyelids. She does her
best to covertly blink them back, but she is almost positive that several water droplets have made
their way into Jackie’s light brown hair. “He clearly cares about you. I— I got that, from your
journal. So… like… choose him. Over me. When we get back. Jeff’s the better option. He’s the
safest—”

“Jackie. For the one-millionth time, I do not like Jeff! That sounds like— like a fucking nightmare
life!” Shauna all but wails, in a squeaky little voice. Flashes of her potential life with Jeff begin to
roll in front of her eyes like a movie reel, which just makes her wince and cringe even harder. “I
want nothing to do with him, alright? I don’t know— I don’t know why you can’t just—”

“I know you don’t wanna sneak around anymore. And we’re— we’re always gonna have to sneak
around. Plus, you’re having a kid with him… Shauna. It makes sense for you to be with him,”
Jackie rambles on, before hacking up a few mucus-filled coughs. Her whole body convulses from
the force of them, while her eyelids keep threatening to close and her mouth barely moves around
her words. Shauna deduces that Jackie’s hazy brain has definitely fogged all the way over, because
she is now slurring everything and she keeps rambling about things that Shauna absolutely hates
hearing. “And… I’ll still love you. I’ll always love you. Even if you— you want to be with him.
Like, even if you want something real. Plus, um. Y’know… I’ve never actually been attracted to
him, but I get that he’s like— like a pretty ideal-looking dude. So—”

“I am begging you to— to stop, Jackie. Just— just— just stop talking about this! I want nothing to
do with Jeff! I am not gonna date him, or marry him, or live with him. So— so… shut the fuck up!”
Shauna all but cries, with a voice that is somehow reedier and rawer than Jackie’s sick one. She
honestly thinks that she could start sobbing at any given moment, so she is kind of thankful that
Jackie is now squeezing at her bicep. It’s a clear indicator that Jackie wants Shauna to actually
look at her, which is why Shauna immediately tips her head down and matches her cloudy eyes.
“I’m serious, Jax. I love you. Jeff was like— is like— the biggest mistake of my life. I do not want
him. I’ve never actually wanted him.”

Jackie squints her sleep-laden eyes at the sullen look on Shauna’s face, but her own expression
doesn’t change or shift, in any shape or form. Her hazel eyes are coated in this glassy glaze, but
Shauna isn’t quite sure if it's because she’s tearing up or if it's a symptom of how delirious she is.
She then wheezes out a sticky-sounding cough, before tilting her head up a bit more. The motion
causes her bony chin to jab right into the sensitive portion of Shauna’s upper chest, but Shauna can
hardly even feel the pulsing pressure now worming its way up her sternum. She is way too focused
on Jackie’s pouty lips and puffed-up cheeks, to complain about the tight ache in her chest. And,
well. All Shauna wants is for Jackie to say something, even if her words are breezy and her
sentences are illogical. So, Shauna quirks up an eyebrow and runs her hands through Jackie’s
tangled waves, in order to coerce her into speaking.

She puffs out a theatrical sigh and ducks her head down, just so that she can hide her entire face in
Shauna’s flannel. “Yeah, but… you still think he’s cute. And, like. We’re not the same, Shauna.
You’re— you can be normal. I don’t even…” Jackie trails off, with a voice that sounds oddly
distant. Her words fly out of her mouth with absolutely zero emotional undertones attached to
them, which makes it seem like she’s speaking from the outside of her body. Like, in all their years
of friendship, Shauna has never heard Jackie’s girly voice sound this detached and stoic. “I don’t
even... I never liked Jeff. At all. I never found him attractive, I was just— I was just with him to be
normal. But I don’t feel anything… with guys. Or… about guys? I guess?”

A frog clatters around the inside of Shauna’s esophagus, which prevents her from sputtering out a
singular word. And, well. Although Shauna wants to say something, her brain currently feels like
it’s been thrown through a never-ending loop. So, instead of attempting to formulate a sentence,
Shauna spends several seconds just… blinking at Jackie’s frowning face. She has no idea how
much time has passed, but she does eventually manage to squeeze a few words out of her tight
throat. “I— uh. What are you— what are you trying to say, Jackie?”

It’s like every last shred of control slips from Jackie’s listless brain and body, once Shauna squeaks
out those earth-shattering words. Her lips twist into a tight smile, her chest begins to rapidly rise
and fall, and the fingers that she has wrapped around Shauna’s bicep contort into this ghostly shade
of white. It’s like the veil of confidence that Jackie always wears has been torn right off of her face,
like a goddamn Halloween mask. And, well. Shauna swears that she has never seen Jackie look this
nervous, in her entire life.

Jackie sucks in a heavy breath and closes her eyes, before lifting her heavy head off of Shauna’s
chest. She then rotates her entire body around, which prevents Shauna from actually seeing her
face, once she begins to whisper-speak. “You know what I’m trying to say,” Jackie stubbornly
states, around a gravelly yawn. Her breaths become shallower and shallower, right as she begins to
cuddle even deeper into the stiff mattress. And, while Jackie battles to get comfortable like a cat
might, Shauna decides to mirror her position. She frees up her sore back by shifting onto her side,
then tosses a hand onto Jackie’s hip. Her aimless fingers trace shapes all along the slender bone,
which causes Jackie’s next sentence to blast out of her mouth like a shaky gust of air. “I don’t like
boys, Shauna.”

Shauna’s hyperactive fingers— which have been tracing out the edges of an invisible square—
instantly freeze against Jackie’s hipbone, in a matter of seconds. Her heart stutters in her chest and
her throat catches, right as the weight of Jackie’s words really crashes against her. It’s not like
Shauna would ever judge Jackie for only being into women, but she just… never expected to hear
those words come out of Jackie’s mouth. Like, Shauna honestly cannot believe that Jackie— with
her straight-laced conduct and her propensity for maintaining her squeaky-clean reputation— has
allowed her lips to loosen enough, to valiantly say those bold words aloud.

“Oh— uh. Ok… cool?” Shauna instinctively states, rather inelegantly. She squeezes her eyes shut
and shakes her head to herself, while resisting the urge to punch her own face. Like, way to fucking
go, Shipman. It’s like all she ever does is drop the ball, at this point. “Yeah— yeah. I’m, um.
That’s totally cool, Jax. I love you either way, so—”
“But you do… right? Like… you like guys. And girls. Both, at the same time…” Jackie practically
whispers, in a way that makes it seem like this is top-secret information. There is a nervous lilt to
her voice and it keeps shaking a bit, which makes Shauna’s heart clench. So, instead of verbally
responding, Shauna leans her forehead up against the back of Jackie’s skull. She shakes it up and
down, which is apparently enough to tear a gasp out of Jackie’s sandpapery throat. “Ok… yeah.
That’s what I— I thought. So, yeah. That’s why I think you should just… date Jeff. It would just
make things… way easier for you.”

“I would rather deal with things being hard with you, than having it easy with Jeff…” Shauna
murmurs, before tucking her face into Jackie’s light brown waves. She breathes in her familiar
scent and shifts her hand further upwards, just so that can hug Jackie closer to her chest. And,
surprisingly enough, Jackie just sinks back into her arms with a heavy sigh. Neither of them says
another word for a few minutes, which basically accentuates the sound of Jackie’s quiet little
breaths. Shauna knows— from like, years of sleep-overs and overnight bus rides— that Jackie’s
breath always grows softer and softer, when she is drifting into a heavy sleep. So, Shauna squeezes
her midriff gently, right before asking the question that has been weighing heavy on her conscience
for months. “Jackie… do you— do you still see a future with me? Or— or do you… even want
one? With me?”

The room falls eerily silent for a few seconds, which just makes Shauna’s anxiety writhe in her
stomach like a massive dirt worm. Jackie wraps her dainty fingers around the forearm that Shauna
has looped around her stomach, then squeezes it reassuringly. “I… um. I kind of stopped thinking
about the future, once I read your journal. Like… I don’t know. I was so miserable and mad at you,
that I guess I just— just stopped wanting to have one,” Jackie reluctantly admits, with a dejected
sigh. And, of course, that piece of unfortunate information sends a caustic wave of bile shooting up
Shauna’s esophagus. A sob threatens to slip out of her mouth, so Shauna instinctively nibbles at her
lip and clutches Jackie even closer. She acknowledges Shauna’s touch by huffing out a scratchy
yawn, which then morphs into yet another delirious diatribe. “So… I guess I haven’t really—
really thought about—”

Jackie’s voice suddenly fizzles and stalls out, like a racecar that has just run out of all of its gas.
Her words are instantly replaced with a series of stuffy snores and sleep noises, which fly out of her
nostrils and her lips in a staccato beat. Apparently, the Nyquil has decided to penetrate Jackie’s
lackluster defenses, at the most inconvenient moment imaginable. But, well. Even though Shauna
craves a real response to her question, she also doesn’t want to wake Jackie back up.

So, instead of jostling Jackie’s body and stirring her out of her daze, Shauna decides to squeeze her
eyes shut. She nuzzles her head into the crook between Jackie’s shoulder and neck, then huffs out a
jagged yawn.

After spending around a half-hour toeing the line between sleep and wakefulness, Shauna manages
to diminish her anxious thoughts, just a little bit. Her eyelids begin to feel a bit heavier and her
breathing starts to slow down, once she grants her exhaustion full permission to overtake her.

As Shauna sleeps, all of Jackie’s slurred words roll around her brain like little marbles. Shauna
knows that the Nyquil basically coerced Jackie into loosening her lips and saying all of those bold
things, but she honestly has no idea what to do with any of the information that she has learned.

Actually, scratch that. If there is one thing that Shauna knows for sure, it’s that she doesn’t want to
end up married to Jeff fucking Sadecki. Like, the mere concept of that, literally makes her shiver in
her sleep.

Gross.
A firm hand sinks its claws into Shauna’s flannel-clad shoulder, before using the leverage to jostle
her entire body to and fro. Not only does the jerky motion rip a ragged gasp from the depths of
Shauna’s throat, but it also spurs her back to jolt right off of the stiff mattress. She sits up straighter
than a plank of wood, while rubbing the remnants of sleep out of her eyes.

After wiping at her bleary eyes, Shauna tears her palms away from her face with a huff. But, well.
It’s only after the little sparkles and specks have dissipated from her blurry vision, that she finally
notices that Lottie is staring back at her. She is sitting on the edge of Shauna’s side of the bed, with
her hands neatly folded in her lap and a neutral expression plastered onto her face. It honestly looks
a lot like a gruesome mask, especially since her lips are twisted into a thin line and her eyes are
practically wells of darkness.

Or, maybe, Shauna’s just a bit groggy still.

“Lottie?” Shauna murmurs, with a gravelly voice. Lottie automatically bobs her head and reaches
for Shauna’s hand, which Shauna reluctantly takes. She then swivels her head around to peer over
at Jackie, right as Lottie decides to jump off of the bed and onto the pads of her Adidas sneakers.
“What are you—” Shauna starts, before abruptly cutting herself off. A string of sleepy hums
buzzes out of Jackie’s slightly parted lips, which effectively shuts Shauna up in seconds. She
studies Jackie’s sleeping form and finds herself smiling innocently, at the mere sight of Jackie’s
crinkled-up nose and squished eyelids. And, well. Of course, Lottie takes advantage of Shauna’s
lovestruck daze, by abruptly yanking her to her feet. The jerky motion causes Shauna to nearly trip
over herself, but Lottie catches her way before she can actually topple over. “What the—”

Lottie clamps one hand over Shauna’s mouth, which continues to move— rather indignantly—
against the calloused skin on her palm. She then plants her bandage-clad hand on Shauna’s waist,
which she then uses to guide her into the living room and out the back door of the cabin. It’s only
after they have made it onto the rickey floorboards of the porch and into the nippy winter air, that
Lottie tears her hand away from Shauna’s face. She scoffs at Lottie and immediately parts her lips
just a fraction, but Lottie successfully beats her to the punch.

“Van and Misty are already at the altar. I told them that you and I would meet them there,” Lottie
stoically states, which prompts Shauna’s mouth to slam shut. She then glances behind Lottie’s
rigid body and stern face, just so that she can stare directly into the glow of the sinking sun. Golden
rays slink behind the impenetrable wall of trees like gobs of melted butter, which pushes Shauna to
acknowledge that she and Jackie have basically slept the entire day away. Like, wow. Jackie
willingly chose to spend her entire birthday with Shauna, even though they have been fighting for
weeks. And, ironically enough, that realization pricks at Shauna’s brain right as Lottie starts
needling at her. “We should really get going. It’s kind of a long walk, Shauna. And the ideal time
to perform the ritual is during sunset. Plus, you promised me that you—”

“I know, I know. But— but Jackie is really sick. And— and it’s her birthday. I don’t wanna leave
her by herself right now… y’know?” Shauna murmurs, rather placatingly. She knows that she
sounds desperate, but all she wants to do is escape the wintery air and return to that lumpy-ass
mattress. Like, Shauna would much rather spend her time cuddling with Jackie in a warm bed, than
squatting in front of some altar in the fucking snow. But, of course, Lottie doesn’t see the merit in
sticking to Jackie’s side like a gob of gum. She is currently scowling at Shauna, with a fiery flicker
in her eyes and a pointy cleft between her overgrown eyebrows. So, Shauna quickly launches into
yet another disjointed and defensive diatribe, without any mental preparation or audience
awareness. “Trust me, Lot. I’ll go next time. But— but I can’t right now. Jackie is finally talking to
me again, and I kind of want to—”

“Fine,” Lottie coldly states, while waving a curt hand in front of Shauna’s face. She then allows
that arm to clamber to her side, rather limply. Her forehead creases and her lips twist into a sour
pucker, right as Shauna decides to show her gratitude, by flashing a timid grin. “But… I am going
to be real with you, Shauna. Especially since it’s starting to feel like no one else wants to be real
with you,” Lottie adds, with a bit more of an edge to her voice. She sounds incredibly irritated, but
she does a much better job of containing her red-hot rage, than Shauna does. Instead of allowing
her emotions to burst out of her like a powder keg, Lottie weaves them into her cutting and
calculating remarks. And, of course, Lottie’s fury fuels her to strike Shauna where it really hurts.
“Jackie is selfish and conceited. She doesn’t actually give a shit about you or your feelings, which
she has proven… time and time again. You need to acknowledge this and you need to call her out.
She gets away with everything… and it needs to end,” Lottie caustically spits, in a way that allows
droplets of venom to dribble right off of her tongue. She then swallows harshly, almost like she is
trying to clear the caustic flavor of those resentful words, right out of her mouth. But, well. Lottie’s
next comments practically slash right at Shauna’s throat, so maybe she doesn’t actually give a shit
about controlling her bitchiness. “Otherwise, Jackie is going to continue to use you like you’re her
little plaything. And I really don’t want to be the one who has to pick up the pieces, once she tosses
you away like a broken toy. Which, we all know she will do… eventually.”

A scoff escapes Shauna’s mouth, right as it begins to open and close, of its own accord. She shakes
her head and glares at Lottie, who simply shrugs her shoulders up all nonchalantly. “That’s not—”
Shauna sputters, rather indignantly. Her hands automatically clench into fists and her skin begins to
burn, while she attempts to formulate a sentence that might prove all of Lottie’s Jackie-oriented
theories wrong. “Jackie’s not— we— she's totally—”

“Way to prove my point,” Lottie proclaims, in a matter-of-fact tone. Her scowl then slips right off
of her face, which leaves her to study Shauna with a stony expression and piercingly sharp eyes.
And, well. Lottie currently looks so creepy and her words sound so foreboding, that Shauna
instinctively hugs her arms around her own chest. “So… do yourself a favor. Stop lying to yourself,
Shauna. It’s never going to work out with her,” Lottie announces, while bobbing her head like a
fucking robot. And then, Lottie forcefully sticks on a cloying smile, before turning on her heel. In a
matter of seconds, Lottie is practically sauntering in the general direction of the altar. She reaches
the edge of the trail that leads to that specific clearing in record time, then slows down and tosses
one final comment over her shoulder. “She’s holding you back.”

And, with that, Lottie tromps off and disappears into the never-ending partition of snow-capped
trees. The last remnants of her presence are the Adidas sneaker imprints engraved into the soft
snow, which Shauna’s brain automatically hyper-fixates on, for whatever fucking reason. And,
well. Instead of immediately going inside, Shauna scratches the base of her neck and gazes up at
the shadowy trail. Her legs refuse to budge and her brain feels scattered, thanks to Lottie’s
downright bizarre behavior. Like, it’s honestly starting to feel like Lottie’s goal in life is to just
leave Shauna absolutely stupified, every single fucking day.

After sucking in a few shaky breaths and calming her nerves a bit, Shauna marches right back into
the cabin. Lottie’s words continue to bounce around in her skull like a rubber ball, even as she
kicks off her snow-covered shoes and leaves them near the front door. Shauna then makes a
beeline straight for Travis and Javi’s bedroom, even though she can feel an assortment of eyes on
her. She keeps her head down as she inches her way past Tai, who is currently squinting at her,
from her seat on the living room couch.

Eventually, Shauna manages to escape the spotlight and find solace in the comfort of the boys’
dusty bedroom. She slowly glides the door shut and begins to tiptoe toward the other side of the
bed, in order to avoid startling Jackie out of her heavy slumber. But, well. Unfortunately for
Shauna’s conscience, Jackie stirs fairly fucking quickly. Shauna barely even makes it halfway
across the cramped bedroom, when Jackie’s eyes fly wide open and her entire body suddenly bolts
upright. Shauna flinches at the abrupt movement, then cringes at the rapid-fire round of coughs,
that instantly shoot out of Jackie’s mouth. She races over to the splintering nightstand, then plucks
the plastic water bottle and the cough drop off of it.

“Here. Drink this. It’s not super warm anymore, so it won’t help with the congestion. But, uh. It’ll
help your throat feel less scratchy… hopefully?” Shauna mumbles, while thrusting the water bottle
in Jackie’s face. She immediately steals it from Shauna’s grasp and chugs it so fast, that a few
droplets dribble onto her chin. Shauna clambers down onto the mattress and leans in closer to
Jackie, just so that she can wipe them away with the pad of her thumb. “And, uh. Take this, too.
It’ll help with the cough,” Shauna proclaims, right as Jackie tears the bottle away from her lips.
Jackie then hands the hollow hunk of plastic back to Shauna, who quickly places the cherry cough-
drop into her awaiting palm. And then, Jackie is tearing off the wrapper like an eager kid on
Christmas, before tossing the red lozenge into her mouth. She sucks on it in silence, which leaves
Shauna to stew in her own feelings of guilt. “Look, um. I’m sorry for waking you up. I didn’t mean
to—”

“What were you and Lottie talking about?” Jackie manages to blurt out, even as the lozenge clatters
against all of her teeth. It rattles around the inside of her mouth, creating a cacophony of clinks and
clanks that make Shauna’s ears bleed. Her head is pounding and she really does not want to answer
that specific question, so Shauna lands on lamely shrugging her shoulders up. But, of course,
Jackie refuses to let Shauna off the hook. “C’mon, Shipman. I woke up, realized that you were
gone, and looked out the window. I saw you talking to her, so don’t try and bullshit me!” Jackie all
but wails, which places an unnecessary amount of stress on her fragile vocal cords. Her last few
remarks come out all wheezy and weak, which basically bolsters Shauna’s assertion that she needs
to keep taking the damn Nyquil. She takes a mental note of that fact and claps herself on the back,
while Jackie rambles onward. “I thought we were past all of the lying, Shauna. And now you’re—
you’re—”

“We didn’t talk about anything important, Jax. I swear to God,” Shauna blurts out, almost
automatically. And, well. It’s not like she enjoys lying to Jackie, but Lottie’s anti-Jackie bullshit is
not something that she wants to waste her time psychoanalyzing. All Shauna wants is for Jackie to
take more Nyquil, eat something, go back to bed, and feel better. So, in a desperate attempt to
appease Jackie, Shauna decides to ramp up the charm factor. She slips underneath the massive
woolen blanket that is currently wrapped around Jackie’s midriff, then leans her head against the
spare pillow next to Jackie’s. And, of course, Jackie peers down at her with a pair of hazel eyes
that are presently stuck on an infinite roll. “I was going to the outhouse and I ran into her. She
just… asked me how you’re feeling. I told her that the Nyquil is helping and that you’re finally
getting some sleep. It was seriously nothing, Jackie. I promise.”

Liar.

Although Shauna’s face is currently burning up like a torch and her guilt is practically etched onto
her forehead, Jackie appears absolutely none the fucking wiser. She finally settles her head back
onto her pillow and pulls the blanket up to her shoulders, while staring at Shauna with beady eyes.
There’s a faint smile lingering on her lips, which fades once she allows her eyelids to drift shut.
“Ok… I believe you,” Jackie murmurs, in a wispy voice. And then, Jackie shifts closer to Shauna
and tucks her head against her chest, in a maneuver that is eerily similar to the one that she pulled
much earlier in the day. But, well. Obviously, Shauna isn’t going to bitch or complain about Jackie
finally wanting her back, even if it's just because she’s sick and needy. So, Shauna quickly loops
her arm around Jackie’s back, before tugging her even closer. She rests her chin on the crown of
Jackie’s skull, which steals a few sleepy and muddled sentences out of Jackie’s mouth. “Thanks for
taking care of me. And for getting my necklace back. You really made my nineteenth birthday… a
little less pathetic. I definitely would’ve preferred to celebrate by lounging at a Florida beach or
 using our fakes in Belmar… but I did enjoy the Nyquil trip. I don’t think I’ve been that high since
the New Year's fiasco at Lottie’s. Like, I am never hitting a bong again.”

Shauna kisses the top of Jackie’s skull and huffs out a chuckle, while Jackie wheezes out another
cough. She then wraps her fingers around the heart-shaped pendant hanging around her neck, with
a smile on her face and one last hum. And, well. In a matter of seconds, Jackie basically knocks the
fuck out and begins to gasp out a cacophony of snores. Shauna runs her fingers through her hair and
studies the serene look on her face, before allowing her own eyelids to fall closed.

But, unlike Jackie, Shauna is unable to plunge right into the depths of exhaustion and fatigue. Her
mind keeps whirring and buzzing, with new techniques to nurse Jackie back to picture-perfect
health. She makes a mental note to force Jackie to chow down the Peanut M&Ms in the morning,
in order to prevent the next round of Nyquil from shocking her weakened immune system like a
goddamn electrical wire. Shauna also deduces that Jackie might benefit from some kind of make-
shift humidifier, or some more cough drops, or a room with less dust, or—

Damn. This fucking baby is really cranking up the maternal instincts and turning Shauna into a
carbon copy of her own, medically-inclined mother.

Chapter End Notes

idk if i hate this chap or like it so idk... if u did enjoy it comment because lowkey i
kinda hate it. anyways...

coming up next: a big death (oops), shauna and nat have a fun girls talk, shauna starts
experiencing pregnancy pains/freaks jackie out with them, and lottie finally manages
to haul shaunas annoying ass to a ritual.
 the frizzy-haired freak strikes again
Chapter Summary

Before Misty can blubber out yet another bizarre comment— one that Shauna herself
just refuses to believe— Natalie is pouncing at her, like a frenzied tiger. In a matter of
seconds, Natalie is clawing Misty’s frizzy hair with her dirt-covered fingers and is
using her grip on it to tug her head around. And, of course, Misty is shrieking like a
wounded animal. It’s a scene straight out of a horror movie, but, unlike the rest of the
screaming Yellowjackets, Shauna maintains her calm and calculated demeanor. Ear-
piercing wails and shocked gasps ring all around her, but she still pushes closer to
Natalie and Misty with her head held high.

Or: Shauna has an existential crisis after dealing with a tragic death and Lottie’s cult
stuff.

Chapter Notes

kinda nsfw scene near the end but its p short tbh.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

December 13th, 1996

“You killed him, you poodle-headed freak! You’re a fucking murderer! A literal, crazy-ass
murderer! Get the fuck out of here!”

As soon as those sharp words drip out of Natalie’s raspy throat, Shauna decides to put all those
years of footwork drills into action. She basically supports all of Coach Martinez’s assertions about
her being the fastest on the team, by flying down the rickety attic steps on socked feet. After nearly
slipping from the loosest rung, Shauna hops off of the ladder and rips through the thread-bare
pantry with sluggish strides. Her hands instinctively ball into fists and find their way toward her
half-squinted eyes, which she then rubs vigorously and with a single-minded purpose.

Sparks fly behind Shauna’s sleep-laden eyelids, as she attempts to wipe away the remnants of rest
and perk herself up. She inches through the archway leading into the living room like a blind
woman possessed, then tears her fists away from her eye-sockets. Once her weary, brown eyes
finally flash open again, Shauna finds herself face-to-face with an almost earth-shattering sight.

There are mascara tracks running down Natalie’s face, but most of the black pigment is smudged
around her red-rimmed eyes and her snot-drenched nose. And, somehow, seeing Natalie’s steely
exterior melt into a mess of teary eyes and well-timed sniffles is less shocking than her current
position on the floor. She’s curled up in front of the fireplace—half in the fetal position, half in a
ball—with a poofy perm-haired, Misty fucking Quigley towering over her. Unsurprisingly, Misty
has that weirdly placating smile etched onto her face—the one that’s like, super forced and
honestly kind of off-putting—and is currently crossing her bony arms over her chest like a tyrant.
Travis and Javi are sitting on the couch right behind her, with numb and stony looks on their faces.
Shauna’s eyes swivel around the room in confusion, but all she is met with is a forlorn shrug from
Van and a resolute head shake from Lottie. On the other side of the room, Mari and Akilah sit at
the shitty table that has been doubling as a laundry station for the past few weeks. Their matching
frowns are hidden behind mountains of dirt-stained and sweat-covered clothing, but Shauna can
still detect the glassy glimmer in their eyes. A handful of JV girls mill around them like over-
anxious fruit flies, but they keep their heads hung down in a manner that is equal parts solemn and
eerie. And, honestly, what freaks Shauna out the most about this bizarre scene is the fact that so
many key players are absent from it.

Although Shauna’s stomach twists at the scene playing out in front of her, it’s the fact that Jackie is
missing in action that scares her the most. And, even though Jackie is always her top priority,
Shauna is also pretty confused about Coach Scott and Tai’s notable absences.

Unsurprisingly, all of the questions lingering at the forefront of Shauna’s mind, instinctively
bubble out of her moderately dried-out mouth. “What the fuck is going on?” Shauna asks, with a
hoarse, sleep-laden voice. The room stays eerily silent, so Shauna clears her throat and then wastes
no time in tacking on a series of follow-up questions. “What’s happening? Where’s Jackie?
Where’s Tai? Where’s Coach—”

Natalie’s head automatically snaps up and her jaw clenches into a scowl, just so that she can bark a
series of convoluted statements in Shauna’s general direction. “Coach is a fucking splat on the
ground, thanks to the serial killer over here!” Natalie grits out, while narrowing her fiery eyes
directly at Misty. And then, before Shauna can even attempt to decipher that particular statement,
Natalie is shooting a crooked grimace right at her. “But, of course, all you give a flying fuck about
is—”

In a matter of seconds, Misty is cutting Natalie off, by stomping her foot against the wooden
floorboards. Her face is bright red and her lip is practically quivering, which just makes her look
like a grouchy child that is in desperate need of a fucking nap. “I did not push Ben, Natalie! He
fell!” Misty exclaims, with an ear-piercing, squawky voice. She honestly sounds like a fucking
parakeet, even as she haphazardly pushes her crooked glasses up the bridge of her nose. “I loved
him, ok? We were— he was my boyfriend! It was an accident. I would never, ever do anything to
—”

“He’s fucking gay, Misty!” Natalie screeches, so goddamn loudly, that practically everyone
flinches. Misty huffs out an agitated sigh, then pinches the bridge of her nose and taps her foot.
Shauna just glances between them, in equal parts confusion and horror. “Or he— he was gay!
Before you— before you killed him!”

Misty sucks in a deep breath and slaps on a deeply disturbing smile, then inches toward Natalie. “I
think you need to calm down, Natalie. I get that you’re upset. Plus, blaming others in times of
tragedy? That’s… a very common coping mechanism!” Misty exclaims, with a vehement head nod.
Her beady little eyes bounce around the packed living room, but nobody offers Misty any support
or validation. So, of course, Misty decides to plant a grubby hand on Natalie’s shoulder. And, well.
Shauna’s back stiffens and she lets out an audible wince, once Natalie bats it away with a scoff.
“C’mon, Nat…” Misty buzzes, in a sing-songy way. Her entire demeanor is so off-putting and
menacing, that Shauna’s back goes absolutely rigid. “Don’t be mad! It was an accident. A tragic…
accident.”

In a matter of seconds, an obscene amount of unbridled fury is flashing across Natalie’s features.
Her eyebrows narrow and her eyes flicker with flaming little embers, as she practically springs to
her feet. And then, Natalie is inching closer to Misty, like a predator stalking its prey. She then jabs
a dirt-covered finger, right into one of the cracked lenses on Misty’s taped-up pair of prescription
glasses.

“It wasn’t an accident!” Natalie wails, while thumping her finger against Misty’s eyeglass lens
with each passing word. Misty attempts to whack her hand away, but she misses… miserably. She
actually fails to swat Nat’s hand away, about a half dozen times. And, well. If Shauna could get a
solid answer from anyone about the Coach Scott situation, she would probably laugh at Misty’s
lack of athletic skills and faulty depth perception. But, unfortunately, both Natalie and Misty seem
hell-bent on continuing their incoherent argument. Neither of them attempts to fill in any gaping
holes in the plot, which leaves Shauna to just gawk at them like a goddamn idiot. “You killed Ben,
because— because he was fucking gay! You weren’t dating and he didn’t love you, Misty! And—
and no one ever will! Because you’re—God—you’re a murderer! A literal, legit, murderer. Fuck.
You’re— you’re sociopathic! And— and possessed. Like— like balls to the wall crazy!”

Misty sucks in a deep breath and claps her hands together, like a disgruntled teacher who can’t
seem to steal her students’ attention. “Well… I am so sorry that you feel that way, Natalie. But…
what happened was an accident. I would never hurt Ben. I loved him. He fell after—”

Before Misty can blubber out yet another bizarre comment— one that Shauna herself just refuses
to believe— Natalie is pouncing at her, like a frenzied tiger. In a matter of seconds, Natalie is
clawing Misty’s frizzy hair with her dirt-covered fingers and is using her grip on it to tug her head
around. And, of course, Misty is shrieking like a wounded animal. It’s a scene straight out of a
horror movie, but, unlike the rest of the screaming Yellowjackets, Shauna maintains her calm and
calculated demeanor. Ear-piercing wails and shocked gasps ring all around her, but she still pushes
closer to Natalie and Misty with her head held high.

She sidles up behind Natalie with sure strides, then loops her arms around her thin waist. Slowly
but surely, Shauna manages to drag Natalie backward. She loses her grip on Misty’s puffy hair and
screeches out a slew of obscenities, while the rest of the Yellowjackets gape at her with teary eyes
and bitten lips. Unlike the rest of the girls, Misty rubs at her wounded scalp with a look of
satisfaction on her face. And, well. Shauna’s not about to let another catfight break loose, so she
wastes no time in dragging Natalie away from Misty and the rest of the girls. Travis throws his
hands up and stares at them with a blank expression on his face, which spurs Shauna to mentally
curse him out and shoot him the stink eye. Like, of course, Travis’ whiny-ass is allowing a
pregnant girl to wheel his teary-eyed ex-girlfriend out of the cabin.

It’s a fairly herculean task—thanks to Shauna’s baby bump and Natalie’s decision to flail all of her
limbs around like a ragdoll—but Shauna does successfully manage to steer Natalie out of the front
door. And, as soon as they make it onto the dilapidated porch, Shauna immediately loosens her hold
on Natalie’s waist. She kind of regrets that decision almost instantly, primarily because Natalie
quickly wheels on her with a raspy scoff and a pinched expression on her face. Like, Natalie’s skin
is so fucking red, that it honestly looks like a gallon of tomato juice has just doused over her
muddy-brown roots.

In a matter of seconds, Natalie is thrusting her shaky hands into Shauna’s chest. Shauna barely has
enough time to regain her footing, before Natalie is lunging into her face. Her veins bulge out of
her forehead and her brows narrow, while embers of anger sizzle and flicker all across her face.
“What the fuck is your problem?” Natalie roars, with an incredible amount of ferocity in her voice.
Shauna balks at the sheer power of it, then backs her way into the corner of the porch. “All you
ever do is get involved in shit that has nothing to do with you! So, why don’t you just fuck off? Let
me deal with Misty, so you can go find Jackie. I’m sure you’d love to cry to her, about some more
stupid shit that you decided—”

“I don’t trust any of the shit that Misty said in there, alright?” Shauna murmurs, while waving her
hands up like a white flag. But, weirdly enough, Shauna’s lackluster declaration of peace seems to
work. Natalie’s face softens a bit at the edges and she backs out of Shauna’s space, before
signaling for Shauna to continue with a jerky chin tip. “Look… I know that you hate me. But— I
also know that she is nuts. So… please. Can we just… put all of that other shit behind us? I want
you to explain to me what’s going on. I believe you. Not Misty.”

Natalie swallows so fucking hard, that Shauna can literally see and hear the tendons in her throat
bobbing all around. After a few minutes of pregnant silence, Natalie decides to free Shauna from
her fears of rejection. She heaves out a sigh and settles down onto the first porch step, so Shauna
slowly mirrors her behavior. Shauna clambers down beside Natalie, but she leaves about a foot’s
length of space between their shivering bodies. It’s less cold than it has been for the past few
weeks, but Shauna can still feel the wintry breeze nibbling away at her brittle bones. And, well. As
soon as the frosty air begins to nip at her nose, Shauna can’t help but wonder if Jackie bundled up
enough, before heading out with Tai.

She adds that to her never-ending, grocery list of questions to ask Natalie, right as the
aforementioned bleach-blonde girl finally decides to put that scratchy voice of hers to good use.

“Misty woke up at the ass-crack of dawn and basically guilt-tripped Coach Scott into checking the
rabbit traps with her,” Natalie murmurs, with a bewildered head shake. She clicks her tongue and
plays with her hands in her lap, while Shauna scans her side profile with soft eyes. “Me and Travis
both offered to go, but that crazy-ass bitch insisted that Coach Scott limp his ass through the
fucking snow. Wouldn’t take no for an answer. It was weird. But… I don’t know…” Natalie trails
off, before huffing out a heated sigh. Her leg jiggles in agitation, right as she begins to angrily rub
at her own eye-sockets. “I didn’t do anything. Or say anything. And then— and then Misty came
back a few hours later, screaming and crying about Coach Scott falling off of a cliff.”

Natalie sucks in a shaky breath and allows her heavy head to tip over, but her leg won’t stop
bouncing around like a pogo stick. So, Shauna’s hand immediately darts to her jean-clad thigh,
almost on instinct. And, well. Before Shauna can even register the millions of possible
repercussions, she is squeezing Natalie’s leg and glancing over at her with a tentative smile.

She honestly expects some kind of pushback—like Shauna really thinks that Natalie’s going to slap
her hand away or glare at her—but, surprisingly enough, Natalie does nothing. All Natalie does is
gasp for air and hold her head in her hands, before breaking down into a heavy fit of body-wracking
sobs. So, Shauna removes her hand from Natalie’s leg, just so that she can run it up and down the
leather jacket glued to her sweaty back.

“Hey, I’m— I’m sorry…” Shauna mumbles, with an incredibly shaky voice. She is desperately
trying to maintain her composure—for both her and Natalie’s sake—but it’s not really working. It’s
honestly hard for Shauna to stomach this entire thing, honestly. Like, the only adult figure they
have had out here is suddenly dead, possibly because of Misty fucking Quigley’s murderous
tendencies. “I— I’m so fucking sorry, Nat. He didn’t deserve that, at all. And I—”

Natalie cuts Shauna’s somewhat disjointed diatribe off, by twisting her entire body around and
wrapping her limp arms around Shauna’s back. She nestles her head into the crook of Shauna’s
neck and continues to cry, which just stuns Shauna so much that she can feel her stomach twisting
up in knots. This is so atypical of Natalie, for about a million different reasons. She hates Shauna,
she loathes physical affection, and she hates when people see her cry. Like, during a scrimmage
against Saint John Vianney last year, Nat’s leg got absolutely nailed when an opposing striker
went in for a slide tackle. There were cleat marks embedded into the pale skin on her calf and her
entire leg was coated in a sheen of glossy blood, but she didn’t complain or whine. She didn’t shed
a tear as Coach Martinez and Coach Scott surveyed the injury, just like she didn’t scream or shout
when the wound got stitched up at Monmouth Medical Center.

So, yeah. To say that Shauna is astonished by Natalie’s emotional display, is a bit of an
understatement. It rocks her heart like a hurricane and nearly tears a sob out of her own mouth, but
Shauna manages to maintain her poise with a well-placed lip bite. She then cradles Natalie’s head
in one of her hands and wraps her other arm around her waist, while Natalie clings to the fabric of
Shauna’s tear-drenched flannel. Her pointy nails dig into the worn-out cloth and latch onto it so
tightly, that Shauna swears she might actually rip it.

Not that Shauna really cares, though.

“Shh… shh…” Shauna coos, while rubbing soothing circles up and down Natalie’s back. She
continues to sniffle and cry into Shauna’s neck, but her body has stopped shaking like a leaf. And,
well. Since Shauna has never really been that good at comforting people or expressing her own
feelings, she considers that a minor victory. “We’re gonna figure this shit out, alright? We’ll give
Coach Scott a proper burial, and then—”

Crunch.

A twig snaps right in front of Shauna and Natalie’s spots on the porch, but it honestly sounds more
like a gunshot than anything. It cracks through the crisp air so fucking loudly, that Shauna and
Natalie immediately untangle their limbs and swivel around. Shauna’s glazed-over eyes follow the
sound on instinct, while Natalie allows her head to hang off of her neck like its dead weight.

Jackie and Tai are standing right in front of them, with loosened jaws and wide eyes. Their
foreheads are both drenched in sweat and Jackie’s hands look slightly pink, but Shauna isn’t able to
ask either of them what they’ve been up to. Legitimately right as Shauna is about to open her
downturned lips, Jackie is opening her mouth and flashing her nervous eyes between both Shauna
and Natalie.

“What’s— what’s going on… out here?” Jackie tentatively asks, right after her gaze finally lands
directly on Shauna. Tai then raises her brow and nibbles at her lip, while studying Shauna’s
expression rather closely. And, well. Shauna’s not quite sure who actually cracks first, but, in a
matter of seconds, both she and Natalie dissolve into a fit of hot tears. Unsurprisingly, Jackie rushes
toward the two of them, much faster than a high-speed freight train. “Hey,” Jackie whispers, before
planting one palm on Shauna’s cheek and the other on Natalie’s. Tai inches closer to the three of
them, while peering through the living room window suspiciously. “Guys. Can one of you please
tell us what’s going on in there? What did we miss?”

Shauna chokes on a sob and plants her palm over Jackie’s, just so that she can entwine their fingers
together. Jackie makes no effort to tear her hand away, but she does duck down so she’s at
Shauna’s eye level. “Coach— Coach Scott…” Shauna trails off, right as Natalie’s body begins to
shake all over again. Jackie slides her hand off of Natalie’s face and uses it to squeeze her shoulder,
while encouraging Shauna to speak with a gentle head nod. “He— he’s dead.”

For a few moments, all Shauna can hear is her own blood rushing to her ears and the wintery air
whooshing all around her. Thankfully, Jackie decides to speak up again, which prevents Shauna
from keeling over and puking up the vats of acid tearing away at her anxious stomach.

Jackie’s eyes bulge out of their sockets, right as Tai huffs out a bewildered gasp. She catches
Shauna’s gaze for a split second, then covers her face with her hands. And, although it’s kind of
hard to make out the words that she is mumbling against her palm, Shauna perks her ears up just
enough to hear a majority of her muffled remarks. “What the actual fuck happened?” Tai asks, with
an abnormally high-pitched voice. Her eyes are wider than saucers and her forehead is etched with
an obscene amount of stress lines, but Shauna is unable to muster up the energy to speak. So,
Shauna just offers her an abrupt head shake, which clearly isn’t a good enough response. “Hello?
Can one of you just tell me—”

“Misty got pissed and pushed him off a cliff,” Natalie states, in a rather matter-of-fact manner.
And, yeah. In approximately five seconds, all hell breaks loose. Tai tears her hands off of her face,
right before her eyes begin to twitch. She squints between Natalie and Shauna, then rushes past
them with even strides. Her Timberland boots thud and thunk their way up the snow-covered porch
steps, up until the moment that she decides to whip open the rickety cabin door. And, instead of
saying another word, Tai wastes no time in stepping right through it. The door slams shut behind
her with a headache-inducing clank, which spurs Natalie to speak up again. “I wish I was joking.”

“I– I– what? She– Misty really did… what?” Jackie abruptly asks, with a quivering voice. She then
peers over at Natalie and finally manages to catch her glassy gaze, which prompts her to wag her
mop of bleach-blonde hair up and down. Jackie then removes her slippery hand from Shauna’s
cheek, just so that she can step onto the porch and use both of her arms to pull Natalie to her feet.
“Ok— ok,” Jackie proclaims, in an absolutely frantic manner. Natalie’s limp body crashes into her
frame, but Jackie’s bony arms somehow manage to hold her upright. “Let’s— let’s go inside, yeah?
We can talk in there. It’s cold. And— and I think you should lay down,” Jackie whispers, while
carding one hand through Natalie’s messy hair. Shauna watches as Natalie nods her head against
Jackie’s sternum, before abruptly tearing it away. “Alright. I’ll meet you in the attic. Just give me
like… five minutes.”

Jackie plants her hands on Natalie’s shoulders and keeps her watery eyes trained on her, even as she
cocks her head in Shauna’s direction. And, well. Although Shauna is a bit confused by the gesture,
Natalie receives the message… loud and clear. She shoots Shauna a watery-eyed smile and tosses
up her hand in a weak wave, which Shauna copies with the same amount of lethargy. Natalie then
swivels around and inches closer to the front door of the cabin, before sucking in a deep breath.
She squeezes her eyes shut and plants her trembling hand on the rusty door knob, then pops it open
with an intense grimace.

As soon as the wooden door slams shut behind Natalie’s back, Jackie decides to plop down next to
Shauna on the splintering porch step. They’re sitting so close together, that Shauna can see all of
the tears welling at the corners of her hazel eyes. She can also feel Jackie’s bony body quivering,
which is why she quickly decides to voice some concerns that don’t relate to Coach Scott or Misty.

“You should go inside. I don’t want you to get sick again,” Shauna murmurs, which spurs Jackie’s
lips to twitch into a shy smile. And then, Shauna can feel her own cheeks burning bright, right as
Jackie slides closer to her. She reaches a hand into the air, then uses her thumb to wipe away the
puddle of tears that is currently encasing Shauna’s blushing cheeks. “Jax… c’mon. Please.”

She sounds so pathetic and whiny, that she’s honestly kind of surprised when Jackie decides to
plant a quick kiss on her tear-stained cheek. Shauna is also kind of shocked when Jackie decides to
run her nimble fingers through her dark locks, while whispering reassurances close to her ear. “I
will. I will. I just— I just wanted to thank you. For taking care of Natalie, even after all the drama. I
know that she’s not your favorite person in the world, so… yeah. And— um. Thanks… for taking
care of me. On my birthday. I wanted to thank you sooner, but things have been kinda crazy…”
Jackie murmurs, with a nervous lilt to her voice. Shauna finally meets Jackie’s hazel eyes, after
nervously staring at her own hands, which have been neatly folded in her lap. And, well. As soon
as Shauna manages to establish eye contact, Jackie’s hazel eyes light up and something akin to
hope flashes across her face. “So, yeah. I just wanted to say… thank you. For everything. And I
also— um. I think we should talk a bit more… later. If you— if you want to.”
“I— yeah. Of course, Jax. I— I’d love to talk. Later,” Shauna quickly says, with an over-eager
head nod. All of her words jumble together in one huge, messy heap, but Jackie still flashes her that
movie-star grin. She doesn’t sound poetic or look graceful, but she continues rambling on like a
complete idiot. “So, uh. Where did you and Tai go? I didn’t realize you guys hung out and—”

Jackie’s hand slips out of Shauna’s hair and lands on her cheek, right before she leans in even
closer. Before Shauna can even react, Jackie is cutting her off with a swift kiss on the lips. She
pulls away rather quickly, even though Shauna instinctively closes her eyes and chases after her. A
giggle then bubbles from the back of Jackie’s throat, right as Shauna’s eyes flash open.

“I have to go check on Natalie. But… later. Yeah?” Jackie inquires, while pulling her lip between
her teeth. And, of course, that kiss has managed to scramble up Shauna’s brain so much that all she
can do is dazedly nod. Even though it’s a fairly weak gesture, Jackie decides not to force Shauna to
squeak out another flustered sentence. She rises to her feet and ducks down, just so that she can
place one last kiss on the crown of Shauna’s skull. “Good.”

Shauna wants to say something in response to that, but Jackie is already halfway through the
cabin’s front door, by the time Shauna manages to formulate a sentence. So, instead of rushing out
another convoluted statement, Shauna settles on the weakest word ever. “Ok!” Shauna manages to
squeeze out, although both her brain and her heart seem to have stopped working. She wheels
around and peeks over at Jackie—who offers her a timid and teary-eyed smile—right before she
disappears into the action-packed cabin.

Before the door slams shut behind her, Shauna swears that she can hear Misty’s squawks and Tai’s
venomous remarks mixing together in an abhorrent melody. So, instead of rushing to go back
inside, Shauna stares out into the never-ending curtain of snow-covered trees. She wrings her hands
together in her lap, while she attempts to come to terms with Coach Scott’s abrupt death.

At this point, Shauna is almost positive that all of her dreams of getting rescued and surviving have
drowned in the Yellowjackets’ shallow lake.

After about an hour of wallowing to herself about the Yellowjackets’ chances of survival, Shauna
decides that she should head back into the cabin. Sure, it might be a war zone in there, but she’d
rather deal with seeing a scratched-up Misty than another gust of chilly air biting at her skin. But,
well. Right as Shauna finally decides to haul herself onto her feet and off of the snowy porch,
Lottie sneaks out of the front door.

Shauna immediately swivels around to face her, but the sun is glowing so brightly and clouding her
vision with this halo-like aura. So, of course, Shauna instinctively thrusts her hand over her
forehead like a homemade visor. It’s a mockery of the one that Mr. Taylor used to wear whenever
he golfed, but Shauna can actually see Lottie’s glower now. So, yeah. It’ll do.

“We’re holding something for Coach Scott,” Lottie flatly states, without even attempting to
formulate some kind of normal conversation. Her voice is soulless and her eyes are fixated on
some random tree out in the distance, which makes it nearly impossible for Shauna to gauge how
sad or angry she is. But, of course, her next few statements kind of answer that question rather
quickly. “Me, Van, and Misty are gonna go say a prayer at the altar. It’ll be like a… memorial.
You can come… if you wanna.”

Shauna honestly can’t believe what she’s hearing, so it takes her about twenty seconds to actually
formulate a response. And, well. Considering how upset Natalie was earlier, she automatically
blurts out one of the most accusatory statements of all time.
“Didn't Misty kill him?” Shauna inquires, with one eye squinted closed. It’s still hard to see Lottie’s
face, but it kind of looks like she’s glaring and scowling right now. Her lips are pursed in a pucker
and her arms are crossed firmly over her chest, but it's the imploring flicker in her eyes that spurs
Shauna to keep speaking. “I mean… Nat seemed really upset earlier. And, I don’t know. I feel like
she wouldn’t make something like that up.”

“Misty couldn’t hurt a fly. Nat’s just talking out of her ass,” Lottie sternly states, in a way that
makes Shauna shiver. Like, Lottie’s tone sounds so resolute, that Shauna is honestly a bit too
terrified to escalate this argument. Nowadays, Lottie refuses to hear people out and maintains her
core beliefs in this weirdly intimidating manner. She never strays away from her unwavering
opinions, which has honestly turned her into this relatively rigid and impenetrable figure. “Coach
Scott fell. He put his crutch on a loose rock. It could happen to anyone.”

Shauna studies Lottie closely, because she’s honestly kind of right. Freak accidents happen,
especially in the middle of nowhere. And, well. They happen more frequently, if you’re walking
around on one leg and using a sharpened stick as a crutch. But, still. Shauna still has doubts,
because the entire incident could have easily been avoided. Like, why the fuck would Coach Scott
decide to limp around in calf-deep snow? Obviously, his crutches wouldn’t carry him that far. So,
why the hell did Misty decide to coerce him into going on an excursion with her?

Although Shauna wants to ask Lottie all of those questions, she decides to just shoot one simple
one in her direction. “Why would Natalie just… say something like that for fun?”

“I don't know. Because she's angry? Because she— she wants to blame someone else for her
feelings?” Lottie automatically fires back, like machine-gun fire. Shauna visibly flinches at Lottie’s
incredibly harsh and snappy words, but Lottie apparently refuses to call a cease-fire. Instead of just
shutting up or attempting to see Natalie’s side of things, she ramps up the verbal-onslaught to a
full-scale war. “People say things they don’t mean all the fucking time. Especially when they’re
angry. Like… did you mean all of the shit you said to Jackie? Before she decided to… y’know?”

Shauna bites the inside of her cheek so hard, that a rush of metal floods her mouth. But, well.
Somehow, the coppery taste of blood keeps Shauna grounded, even though she wants to jump to
her feet and take a swing at Lottie’s smirking face. Her rage boils up inside the pit of her stomach
like an overheated tea kettle, but she somehow manages to plaster on a fake smile that doesn’t
quite meet her eyes.

She’s decided to keep it civil today, in order to honor Coach Scott the right way. Like, Shauna is
not so sure that he wants to look down and see Lottie with a black eye, less than three hours after
his death.

“You’re right, Lot. I didn’t think about that,” Shauna manages to wheeze out, although her
clenched jaw makes it a somewhat herculean task. And, of course, Lottie gazes down at her with a
pleased expression on her face. It takes almost all of Shauna’s willpower to bite back a scoff, but
she somehow manages to mask her irritation with a somewhat placating assertion. “But… I think I
might sit this one out. Natalie’s still kind of upset. Plus, Jackie might need some help—”

“How about you come for a little bit? It’ll be nice. And, I honestly need some extra support. Misty
is very heartbroken,” Lottie mutters, with an apathetic head bob. It’s clear that she’s gnawing at the
inside of her own cheek, but Shauna isn’t quite sure if it’s because she’s upset about Coach Scott…
or if it’s because she’s hell-bent on covering for Misty’s crazy-ass. “It can be kind of a pain to set
things up, even when there’s three of us. So, since Misty’s kind of—”

“Fine,” Shauna sullenly relents, before rubbing at her temples. Her head has been pounding like a
snare drum ever since this morning, when she first found out about Coach Scott’s death and Misty
fucking Quigley’s potential involvement in the affair. And now, all Shauna wants to do is shut her
brain off and sleep off this queasy feeling in her stomach. But, she knows that Lottie won’t stop
harassing her until she finally relents and agrees to attend this fucked-up thing. Like, she’s been
putting off this dumb prayer promise for weeks. It’s time to pay up, even though she’d much rather
not attend a religious ramble-fest where Misty fucking Quigley is the altar server. “I’ll go. Just—
just let me—”

Before Shauna can finish her thought, Lottie is grabbing her by the wrist and hauling her to her
feet. She doesn’t get the chance to alert Jackie or Tai about where she is going, because Lottie
practically tugs her down the porch steps and into the snow in about five seconds flat. The grip that
Lottie has on her wrist is so fucking tight, that it fits Shauna’s bony arm like a snug bracelet. But,
well. That obscenely steely grip allows Lottie to haul a rather reluctant Shauna right through the
mounds of snow guarding the front of the cabin, lightning fucking quickly. It isn’t long before they
make it to the little clearing where Lottie’s wooden altar is, but Shauna’s already halfway out of
breath once they arrive.

Lottie finally loosens her hold on Shauna’s wrist and spins around to flash her a smile, right as Van
shuffles closer to them. She moves with such purposeful strides, that Shauna’s stomach churns a
little bit. Van is standing face-to-face with Shauna now, so her bright red hair is blocking Shauna’s
view of Misty. She can barely make out what the poofy-haired girl is doing, but it looks like she is
struggling to carry something made out of chiseled wood.

Shauna’s heart sinks. Her limbs tighten and a wave of anxiety surges through her, like a tidal wave.
She thinks she knows what that thing is in Misty’s hands, but her throat has gone so dry that she
can’t even voice her concerns to Van or to Lottie. But, well. Shauna quickly deduces that if she
were to complain about Misty, Lottie and Van wouldn’t even listen to her. Lottie defended that
potential murderer less than a half-hour ago, so who’s to say that Van isn’t on her side, too?

Misty’s the female version of OJ Simpson, but Shauna is hell-bent on making sure that she doesn’t
get away with her crimes. Like, yeah. Shauna definitely isn’t Natalie’s biggest fan, but all of the
little puzzle pieces link seamlessly together and form a perfect picture. Misty was mad about Coach
Scott rejecting her, so she pushed him off a cliff. The glove does fit, even though Van and Lottie
might refuse to see that.

“What the fuck is that, Misty?” Shauna all but wails, with an incredibly shrill and shaky voice.
Shauna can feel her face turning redder and redder, once Van and Lottie share a half-knowing,
half-nervous look. So, of course, Shauna pushes Van aside and stomps her soaked Converse in
Misty’s direction. She’s so angry and anxious that her vision is blurring a bit on the edges, but she
can still make out the concerned expression on Misty’s face. And, well. Shauna can also make out
the giant wooden pole, currently nestled in Misty’s grimy arms like a goddamn baby. “Is that— is
that Coach Scott’s—”

A wave of panic rushes through Shauna’s stomach, right as Lottie decides to place a gentle hand on
her shoulder. She squeezes down on the thin muscle there, but Shauna refuses to turn around.
Consequently, Shauna isn’t all that surprised when she feels Lottie’s hot breath against the back of
her neck. “It’s Coach Scott’s crutch, Shauna. Misty and Van scaled the cliff to grab it, because we–
because we need it. To make this… official. We’ll bury his body and keep the crutch here. Where
the Gods can see it.”

As soon as those words escape Lottie’s lips, a harsh chill shoots up Shauna’s sore spine. She stares
between Van and Misty, who both offer her tight frowns and slight shrugs. And, honestly, their
combined nonchalance drives Shauna’s brain to whirl like a violent tornado. Shauna feels like she
could keel over and puke at any given moment, but she isn’t granted the opportunity to run to the
safety of the outhouse or hide behind a tree.

In a matter of seconds, a sharp, lancing pain slices through Shauna’s stomach like a knife. It burns
her insides like a roaring fire, so she bends over and clutches onto her own stomach for dear life.
Both Van and Misty snap out of their careless daze and rush toward her, but Lottie remains
absolutely stoic. But, well. Considering the fact that Shauna manages to bat both Misty and Van
away, even as she begins to yelp like a wounded dog, kind of validates Lottie’s decision to
maintain her rigid exterior.

“Hey… are you ok? What’s— what’s going on?” Van asks, right after clapping a solid hand onto
Shauna’s scrunched-up back. Another wave of searing heat slices through Shauna’s guts, which
drives her face to contort in pain. Her jaw tightens and her lips purse together, but another pathetic
whimper manages to trickle out of her throat. Van studies her face closely, with a worried look in
her eyes. “Is it— is the baby? Do you want me to go get Jack—”

Van doesn’t get to finish her sentence, because Shauna’s back automatically shoots up like a stiff
flag-pole. The movement catches Van so off-guard, that her hand flies off of Shauna’s shoulder
and her eyes bulge in surprise. And, well. Now that Shauna is standing upright again, that dull ache
in her abdomen decides to spread even lower. It honestly feels like she’s been sucker-punched in
the stomach, by a fist covered in roaring flames.

Even though it currently feels like her insides are being yanked out of her, Shauna refuses to scare
Jackie or involve her in this stupid ceremony. She would honestly rather suck it up and deal with
feeling like a gutted-out animal, during a solo walk to the cabin. Like, Shauna really doesn’t want
to freak Jackie or Tai out, even more. She’s almost positive that they’re still attempting to coerce
Natalie out of her detached state, which is why Shauna really wants to avoid bugging them. It’s not
like this pain will last for long… right?

Shauna twists her sore body around and that burning sensation immediately swells through her
abdomen, which elicits yet another, pitiful yelp. Van and Misty share a knowing look, but Shauna
legitimately refuses to let either of them touch her. She sure as hell does not want Misty’s bloody
hands all over her body, especially since all that red liquid once belonged to Coach fucking Scott.
So, Shauna dodges Misty’s outstretched hands, then instinctively plants a palm on her sizzling
stomach. Although her baby bump is fairly small, it protrudes painfully from her malnourished
frame. But, usually, Shauna is able to ignore its presence and turn a blind eye to the baby’s slow
growth.

Clearly, Shauna cannot disregard this stupid baby’s existence, any fucking more. And, right as that
thought slaps her across the face, another sharp pain stabs her in the belly button. There are tears
welling in her eyes and her stomach currently stings like a bitch, but Shauna refuses to ask Lottie
for any sort of help. So, even as Misty and Van cry out desperate pleas for her to come back,
Shauna manages to limp her way back toward the relative safety of the cabin.

Tears rush down Shauna’s cheeks as she wrings open the rusty front door, but the pain in her
stomach has slowed down a little bit. A faint ripple of heat continues to rush through her abdomen
every few minutes, but none of those stabbing pains have drilled her in a while. But, still. All
Shauna wants to do is lie down and curl up in the fetal position, which is why she makes a beeline
for Coach Scott’s vacant bedroom. All of the other Yellowjackets—who are currently alternating
between sniffling and sobbing—peer up at her, beneath half-lidded eyes and from their respective
spots on the living room floor. Even Tai perks up a bit when she sees her, but, after all the shit
that’s gone on today, Shauna honestly cannot deal with instigating yet another emotionally
draining conversation. So, yeah. Shauna yanks the bedroom door open so hard and so fast, that she
is kind of surprised when it doesn’t snap right off of its hinges.
She bolts through the wide open door and slams it shut, before launching herself onto the
dilapidated mattress with a huff. Her mind whirls and her heart continues to race in her chest,
almost painfully. Like, Shauna has no idea what to make of that make-shift religious ceremony, at
all. It didn’t feel like a memorial or religious service, let alone a legitimate way to honor Coach
Scott’s life. She also can’t help but wonder if Tai actually knows about what Van has been getting
up to, for the past few weeks. And, well. Now that Shauna knows all about Natalie and Lottie’s
tumultuous hook-up history, she kind of wonders what Natalie might think about that weird-ass
ceremony. The whole situation is just so convoluted and weird to Shauna, because Lottie should be
siding with Natalie over Misty.

Before Shauna can allow herself to get sucked up into a whirlpool of her own, dangerous thoughts,
her eyes begin to instinctively bounce all around the fairly stark bedroom. And, of course, they
immediately land on the jumbled mound of clothing, which is currently resting in the corner of the
room. In a matter of seconds, Shauna spots Coach Scott’s faded Yellowjackets hoodie amongst the
hodgepodge of dirt-covered fabric

Her eyes well up with tears, almost instantaneously.

Shauna’s not like, a complete idiot… or whatever. She knows that the survival rate out here is
bleak, thanks to a medley of shitty factors. Plus, at this point, Shauna has come to terms with the
fact that the odds are definitely not in her favor. Unlike the rest of the Yellowjackets, the
probability of Shauna getting out of here—in one solid, living and breathing piece—is most likely
in the negatives. Like, Shauna could barely even handle the barrage of sharp stomach pains that
decided to attack her a little while ago. If Shauna can’t withstand a wave of searing aches, there is
no fucking way that she is going to survive actual childbirth. And, yeah. Obviously, the lack of
medical help and expertise will probably be the death of her, too.

She is going to die, just like Coach Scott. The only adult they’ve ever had to guide them out here is
now dead and squashed up at the bottom of a cliff, like an unimportant and forgotten bug. It’s a
tough pill to swallow, especially since Misty is probably giggling away at the altar with Lottie and
Van. She is probably waving that rotted-out crutch like a flag, with that sinister smile on her face.
And, unsurprisingly, that image just makes Shauna sob even harder.

Shauna flips over onto her side and tugs her knees up, just so that she can curl into the fetal
position. Her stomach still kind of burns, but it honestly feels like there are just some left-over little
embers dancing around in there. That sizzling sensation is still there, but Shauna is somehow still
strong enough to handle this melted-down version of it. But, well. Now that all of these grim
thoughts are swirling around in her skull, Shauna just can’t stop crying.

Her eyes squeeze shut of their own accord, so hard and so tight, that a million little white specks
explode behind her eyelids. Somehow, someway, a few tears still manage to leak onto her cheeks
and stain her face with streaks of salt. She is still thinking about Coach Scott’s splattered body,
which just makes her heart sting like it's been pierced by an actual, predatory yellowjacket.

Shauna deduces that once they actually get to bury Coach Scott, all of her hopes and dreams will
trickle down into that hole and rest with him. Like, ever since the initial crash, Shauna has been
holding onto any shred of hope she could find for dear life. But, now that Coach Scott’s been taken
down by both Misty and the elements, Shauna is more than willing to let go of that gnawed-up
rope.

They’re all fucked and they’re all going to end up like Coach Scott, but Shauna is going to be the
first one to follow in his footsteps. And, with that thought in mind, Shauna hugs her legs closer to
her chest and cries right into Coach Scott’s discarded pillow.
After allowing her body to tremble and shake with the force of her sobs for a little bit longer,
Shauna practically forces her aching body to sleep. It’s a horrifyingly hard task, but Shauna
manages to do it after a mixture of twists and turns.

In her dreams, all Shauna can see is Lottie at that stupid altar. She is smiling right at Shauna, with
her bloody hand cemented on Coach Scott’s wooden crutch. Van and Misty are gone, but her rigid
and stony body remains.

Although her eyes are latched firmly closed and they are starting to grow heavy with sleep, Shauna
can feel red-hot tears flooding her face.

Part of Shauna wishes that she could just drown in them.

Even in her sleepy state, Shauna can still feel nimble fingers slowly combing through her messy
locks. But, somehow, the faint rustling sound that her jostling hair creates is enough to coax Shauna
into cracking her heavy eyelids open.

Once Shauna’s bleary eyes manage to regain focus, she discovers Jackie gazing back at her, with
red-rimmed eyes and a wispy smile on her face.

“Hey,” Jackie whispers, in a mouse-like way. Her nose scrunches up a bit and her glassy eyes tick
across Shauna’s face, slowly but surely. Shauna leans into her touch and shuffles closer to her, so
that they’re almost nose-to-nose. Jackie sucks in a deep breath, then continues to speak. “I wanted
to talk to you sooner, but I just managed to calm Nat down enough to go to bed. Tai said you came
rushing in here and you seemed kinda out of it, so I wanted to check on you. But… uh. I guess I
didn’t wanna wake you? So I’ve just been… chilling here.”

Those words, combined with the cotton candy shade of blush currently blossoming on Jackie’s
cheeks, spurs Shauna’s lips to curl into a small grin. “All good. I’m glad that Natalie’s doing a
little bit better,” Shauna murmurs, before breaking off into a yawn. Jackie nods her head a little bit,
then decides to continue to run her fingers through Shauna’s dark curls. “Today’s been awful… for
everyone. But… I know that she was close with Coach. I can’t imagine what she’s going through.”

Jackie sucks in a shaky breath, before allowing her smile to slip right off of her slim face. She
nibbles at the inside of her cheeks and squints her eyes at Shauna, almost like she’s building up the
confidence to speak. After a brief moment of awkward silence, Jackie eventually opens her mouth
and asks Shauna the question she’s been fearing for weeks. “Yeah. But, uh. I kinda wanted to ask
you something. Where’d you go earlier?” Jackie inquires, with a slightly lifted eyebrow. Shauna’s
heart thuds in her chest, while images of Misty with that damn crutch decide to roll over her eyes
like an antique movie reel. “Lottie, Misty, and Van are all still MIA. Did you go somewhere with
them?”

In a matter of seconds, Shauna’s guilt erupts out of her like lava shooting out of a volcano. Sobs
wrack her body and tears obscure her vision, which makes it nearly impossible for her to make out
the concerned look on Jackie’s face. “I— I lied to you. Again. I’m sorry— I’m so sorry, Jackie. I’m
— I’m the worst person ever,” Shauna cries, while rubbing at her watery eyes. The mattress shifts
beneath Shauna, right as Jackie props herself up on one elbow. Her other hand continues to pet
Shauna’s hair, which just spurs Shauna to sob even harder. Like, honestly, Shauna doesn’t deserve
Jackie. And, well. After all of the awful shit that she’s done to her, Shauna has finally deduced that
she never really did. “Lottie— Lottie’s crazy, Jackie. Like— like… sociopathic. She keeps talking
shit about you. And she— she’s been begging me to go to this creepy altar with her. I— I went
today, finally. Because she said they were honoring Coach Scott…” Shauna trails off, just to clear
a lump of mucus out of her throat. Jackie removes her hand from Shauna’s hair, in order to trace
soothing circles on her back. “But it wasn’t a memorial, Jax. Misty had Coach Scott’s crutch, and
Lottie said they needed to show it to the Gods, and Van—”

“Hey, hey. It’s ok. Slow— slow down, sweetie. Please,” Jackie mumbles, which prompts Shauna
to choke on her own sob. She then removes her hand from Shauna’s back, just so that she can wipe
the tears out of Shauna’s eyelids. “I wish you told me about the Lottie thing sooner. But—”

Before Jackie can finish that train of thought, Shauna shifts onto her back and thrusts her palms
onto her face. Shauna then lets out a wail that is so fucking loud, that she is almost positive that the
rest of the Yellowjackets can hear her from their seats in the living room. Jackie sits up and circles
Shauna’s wrist, but Shauna refuses to let her tear them away. She steels up, then counters all of
Jackie’s feeble attempts to peel her hands off of her face. And, well. It doesn’t take long for Jackie
to huff out a bewildered sigh and loosen her grip on Shauna’s wrists. In a matter of seconds, Jackie
flops back onto the mattress and partially lands on Shauna’s right shoulder.

“You have every right to hate me… forever. All I do is fuck things up. It’s like— it’s like the only
thing I’m good at is— is hurting you! And I— I don’t even mean to. I always end up hurting you,
whenever I try my best not to…” Shauna laments, with a throaty groan. Jackie wraps a hand around
Shauna’s bicep and attempts to use the leverage to rip her arm to the side, but fails miserably.
Shauna’s hands remain pasted to her tear-streaked cheeks, even as she continues to incoherently
sob right into her callus-covered flesh. “I’m so sorry, Jackie. I’m sorry about not telling you about
Brown. And— and about Lottie. I’m sorry for sleeping with Jeff. I— I just didn’t know what to do.
And— and I’m sorry for getting pregnant. I’m sorry for lying to you about it being Randy’s. I’m
sorry that’s it gonna kill me and that everyone’s going to have to deal with burying another—”

A wave of super-strength must surge through Jackie’s body, because she finally manages to wring
Shauna’s tensed-up arm onto her own stomach. The gesture obviously causes one of Shauna’s
hands to slip from her face, which just spurs her to cry even harder.

“Shauna— Shauna— Shauna—” Jackie frantically pleads, while using her grip on her arm to jostle
her entire body around. Shauna just shakes her head and continues to choke out a steady stream of
sobs, even as Jackie’s frown grows larger. “I don’t— I don’t hate you, ok? And I’m— I’m not mad
anymore… about anything. I’m just disappointed, ok? I swear,” Jackie proclaims, before nervously
sniffling. There are tears covering her own eyes now, which makes that guilt-filled pit in Shauna’s
stomach grow even wider. So, Shauna squeezes her eyes shut and avoids Jackie’s gaze, right as
Jackie decides to restart her rambling. “I love you, Shauna. I love you, I love you… I love you.”

Shauna thrashes her head back and forth so fast, that she wouldn’t be surprised if she ended up with
an intense concussion or severe whiplash. Her heart is practically digging into the sides of her
mucus-coated throat at this point, which makes her voice sound all raspy. “You shouldn’t. It’s–
you’re wasting your time. I’m next… right after Coach Scott. And— and I deserve it. For
everything that I’ve done. I’m so— I’m so sorry, Jax. I’m so stupid and you deserve way better
than–”

Jackie cuts Shauna off, by basically rolling on top of her. She tucks loose strands of her honey-
brown hair out of her face and holds herself up on her elbows, in order to keep her body weight
away from Shauna’s stomach. And then, before Shauna can even react, Jackie is leaning her face
closer to hers. The heart-shaped pendant on her necklace dangles right in front of Shauna’s eyes, up
until the moment that Jackie finally decides to press her chapped lips against Shauna’s. And, of
course, Shauna instantly groans into her mouth. Jackie’s lips linger and move against Shauna’s for
a few moments, before she shifts her mouth downward. A hoarse gasp is ripped from the back of
Shauna’s throat, as soon as Jackie latches her mouth onto Shauna’s neck.
She moves her lips away from Shauna’s salty skin for a brief moment, just so that she can whisper
near the shell of her ear. “I love you and I forgive you, Shauna…” Jackie murmurs, while Shauna
gnaws at her own lip. Her heart stings and she honestly thinks that she might burst into tears again,
but she’s really trying to lessen that urge. “I wish you would— you would just… let me.”

“But you shouldn’t,” Shauna instinctively states, with a shaky voice. She’s not quite sure if it
sounds so pitiful because of Jackie’s ministrations, though. Like, it could also sound so trembly,
because the weight of Shauna’s guilt is currently crushing her own chest. “I— I fucked up so bad,
Jax. You shouldn’t shouldn’t forgive me. I— I don’t deserve it.”

“Well… I do,” Jackie manages to murmur, while she scrapes her teeth right against the stretch of
skin above Shauna’s collarbone. She squirms a bit, so Jackie begins to soothe the little nips with
light kisses. “So…” Jackie hums, before tearing her mouth away from Shauna’s neck. She glides
her face back up and leans into Shauna’s, then brushes the tip of Shauna’s nose with her own. Even
though her eyes are still slightly glassy and reddish from all of the crying she probably did in the
attic, Shauna can make out a teasing little twinkle in them. “I guess you’re just gonna have to…
deal with it.”

Shauna sputters out a ton of nonsensical syllables, but Jackie immediately swallows them down, by
shoving her mouth back onto Shauna’s. Jackie’s eyes slam shut and Shauna’s follow suit, about
five seconds later. And then, Jackie digs her nails into the pillow nestled behind Shauna’s bed for
stability, before reaching her other hand downward. Her fingertips then brush against the
waistband of Shauna’s sweatpants, feather-lightly. And, well. As much as Shauna wants this, she
knows that she doesn’t deserve it. So, Shauna’s brown eyes pop back open, in a flourish. One of her
hands flies to Jackie’s arm and grips it right above the elbow, which spurs Jackie’s eyes to re-open.
She glances at her curiously, with one eyebrow raised and her hazel eyes slightly scrunched up.

“You don’t— you don’t have to do this,” Shauna breathily states, which immediately drives
Jackie’s lips to twist into a faint smirk. Although Shauna knows that look really well, she’s still
shocked when Jackie quickly dismisses her recommendation. In a flash, Jackie’s hand is sneaking
beneath the waistband of her underwear and her sweatpants. And, yeah. It takes a lot of effort for
Shauna to turn the groan she wants to huff out into a coherent sentence. “You don’t have to feel
bad for me. I’m fine, Jac—”

“I know that, Shauna. This isn’t like, some kind of act of charity. I just— I miss you,” Jackie
whispers, so earnestly that her cheeks warp into an even brighter shade of pink. Shauna is already
breathless, but she still has enough energy to gaze up at Jackie with half-lidded eyes. Jackie wastes
no time in upping the ante, legitimately a second after Shauna decides to re-establish eye contact.
“And I… want to. I want you so bad,” Jackie murmurs, all raspily. A groan automatically shoots
out of Shauna’s lips, way before she can even attempt to stifle it with a lip bite or a well-timed
pucker. Spurred on by the sound, Jackie’s hand dips a little bit lower. “But we can stop if you don’t
want to. I just— I just want you to know that I meant what I said. I forgive you and I love you…
ok? You just need to… forgive yourself.”

Shauna nods her head once and squeezes her eyes shut all over again, which Jackie must view as a
silent form of rejection. She doesn’t say anything or huff out a singular noise, even as she begins to
slowly creep her hand out of Shauna’s pants. But, obviously, Shauna doesn’t actually want Jackie
to stop. So, yeah. Even though Shauna feels guilty about it, she circles Jackie’s wrist and clutches it
tightly. Jackie instantly freezes and peers up at Shauna, right as her glassy eyes crack back open.

“No, I want to. I miss you too,” Shauna all but whines, which prompts Jackie’s nose to scrunch up
in that cute way that it does. It’s almost enough to coerce Shauna into letting this thing just…
happen. But, Shauna’s still a bit worried about what the aftermath of this might look like. “I just—
I just don’t want this to be fake. Or— I guess I just don’t want you to regret this.”

Jackie lets out a small chuckle and shoots Shauna a sly grin, then slides her hand back to its
original place. “I’m not going to, baby. I swear…” Jackie mumbles, rather encouragingly. And,
yeah. With Jackie’s fingers moving all teasingly, Shauna is rendered practically mute. So, Shauna
offers up a frantic nod of consent, which urges Jackie to catch her lips again.

As soon as Shauna opens her mouth wide enough for Jackie to slip her tongue into it, Jackie’s
fingers begin to circle her roughly. She immediately grips Jackie’s forearm tighter and moans into
Jackie’s mouth, which prompts Jackie to smile into the kiss. Shauna’s hips move with the motion
of Jackie’s fingertips, seamlessly rising and falling at the exact same rhythm.

Before long, Shauna winds one hand into Jackie’s hair and begins to desperately pant into her
mouth. Jackie seems to take that as some sort of sign, because she swiftly moves her lips back onto
Shauna’s already bruised-up neck. She alternates between sucking and kissing the delicate skin
there, while Shauna haphazardly thrusts her hips into her touch.

That taut knot of pressure and heat is already beginning to unwind at the base of her pelvis, which
is why Shauna can barely stifle the moans and the whimpers spilling out of her throat. She vaguely
remembers that the Yellowjackets were in the living room earlier and that they’re probably still in
there right now, but she honestly couldn’t care less about them overhearing, at this point. Like,
Shauna’s so sensitive from this stupid baby, that her thighs are already shaking around Jackie’s
hand.

She knows that she’s already teetering on the brink of what is about to be an absolutely earth-
shattering orgasm, but she really needs an extra push. Shauna is so desperate and her brain is
practically fried at this point, so the words pour out of her mouth of their own volition.

“Jax. Tell me you love me.”

A wave of guilt instantly courses through her veins, right after that statement slips out of her
loosened lips. Shauna is kind of glad that Jackie is too busy nipping at her neck to peer up at her
face, because she is almost positive that the name Jeff is now scribbled across her forehead in
colorful ink. She’s so sick and twisted for repeating the exact same phrase that she whispered Jeff’s
way, when they were sneaking around behind Jackie’s back. It’s terrible that Shauna is echoing the
words that she whispered in Jeff’s ear, right before she decided to accidentally create this stupid
fucking baby with Jeff.

At this point, Shauna views it more as a death sentence than a living and breathing thing, but…
still.

As per usual, Jackie is absolutely none the fucking wiser and wastes no time in giving Shauna the
validation that she so clearly craves.

“I love you, Shauna…” Jackie whispers, right into the side of Shauna’s neck. Shauna knows that
she’s awful, but hearing that sentence shoot out of Jackie’s mouth spurs her to buck her hips even
faster. She moans and pants, while Jackie’s fingertips press down harder and swirl around her
speedily. Shauna whimpers, like, way too loudly. “Shh… Hey, hey. I love you.”

Shauna’s better judgment practically melts away, as she focuses all of her attention on chasing after
what she has been wanting and needing for weeks. “Say it again, Jax…” Shauna practically pleads,
while tugging desperately at her light-brown waves. Jackie nods against her neck, but she makes no
effort to free her lips up. And, yeah. Shauna is so desperate, that she is willing to swallow down the
lump in her throat and beg Jackie to say those magic words again. “Please, Jackie. Again.”
“I love you so much, Shauna.”

Shauna groans and rolls her pelvis upward, but the unwinding sensation that suddenly rolls through
her abdomen is not the pleasurable feeling that she usually equates with this. A rush of heat shoots
through her lower stomach and slices through her guts, just like it did… a little bit earlier. Her eyes
well with tears and she bites down roughly at her lip, in a last-ditch effort to prevent a pained yelp
from soaring out of her mouth. Unfortunately for Shauna, that half-whimper, half-screech, shoots
out of her like a cannonball.

Jackie tears her lips off of Shauna’s neck and pulls back, just so that she can gawk at her with
bulging eyes. And, of course, that’s when the baby decides to wreak havoc on her stomach…
again. Shauna grits her teeth and yanks on a handful of Jackie’s light-brown hair so fucking hard,
that she audibly winces. All of the color drains from Jackie’s tanned face and her eyes fly open
even wider, right before she decides to yank her hand out of Shauna’s pants in an incredibly clumsy
manner.

“I— I. Oh, fuck. I— I didn’t—” Jackie nervously stutters, even as she rolls off Shauna. She then
springs to her feet, just so that she can hover near the side of the mattress and peer down at Shauna.
Her lip is tugged between her teeth and she keeps blinking erratically, which makes Shauna feel
like absolute shit. Jackie is freaking the fuck out, but Shauna can’t speak through the surges of
searing pain that are currently wracking her body. She just barely squeezes out a distressed
whimper, which sends Jackie into legitimate disarray. “I didn’t hurt you… did I?” Jackie
reluctantly asks, before audibly gulping. Shauna wraps her arm around her stomach and twists onto
her side, but Jackie fails to connect the dots. She covers her forehead with one hand and paces
around, while rattling off an assortment of apologies. “I’m so sorry, Shauna. I didn’t— I didn’t
mean to. I thought I was doing ok. I’m so fucking—”

Even though Shauna currently feels like she is dying, her main priorities include calming Jackie
down and providing her with reassurance. “It’s— you didn’t, Jax. That was… good. I— I swear.
This isn’t your fault,” Shauna manages to wheeze out, through gritted teeth. Unsurprisingly, that
doesn’t really quell Jackie’s growing anxiety, in any shape or form. Jackie does stop pacing, but she
quickly begins to study Shauna’s face with a tight frown. So, Shauna sucks in a deep breath, then
squeaks out some more information. “I— I’ve been dealing with this— all day. It’s— they’re—
they’re pregnancy pains. I, um… I think.”

Jackie’s jaw drops, right as the sound of the front door swinging open and closed decides to slash
through the awkward silence. She keeps her eyes on Shauna, then points a shaky finger right at the
bedroom door. “I— I think that’s Van and Lottie. And— and Misty…” Jackie trails off, while
nibbling at her lip. Her face brightens like a lightbulb and Shauna can practically see the gears
churning in her forehead, which drives her stomach to sink almost instantly. Somehow, Shauna
knows exactly what Jackie is going to say, way before she even attempts to open her mouth. “I’m
gonna go— gonna go get her…” Jackie reluctantly states, with a slight grimace. And, in a matter of
seconds, the blood in Shauna’s veins runs cold. “Misty, I mean. She can— she can help—”

“No!” Shauna automatically wails, which she immediately regrets. The sheer force that she speaks
with causes her stomach to lurch a bit, which just sends another sharp rush through her guts. She
winces and chokes out a sob, while Jackie’s eyes begin to water. But, honestly, Shauna would
rather deal with this searing ache than Misty fucking Quigley. Like, somehow, having her intestines
torn out of her seems much more lucrative than listening to Misty squeak out medical terms. “Jax,
please. She— she killed Coach Scott. You know that she did. Natalie wouldn’t lie about— ”

“I know, Shauna. But she’s the only person around here that knows anything about medical stuff.
And— and I hate seeing you in pain,” Jackie whispers, in between sniffles. She spins around and
trudges toward the bedroom door, while Shauna fires out a variety of frantic pleas. Unfortunately,
Jackie absolutely refuses to be deterred by the desperate lilt in Shauna’s voice. Jackie keeps her
head held high and reaches for the rusty doorknob, then heaves out a sigh. Slowly but surely,
Jackie spins around and shoots Shauna a watery smile. “We don’t know what these are or what
they mean, Shauna. And— and I don’t want to risk it. What if you're going into labor? What if—”

Shauna’s face is burning up so badly that she might as well have just flicked Natalie’s lighter right
in front of her cheeks. Her stomach feels all charred up and she’s pretty sure that she could collapse
at any given moment, but Shauna does manage to divert Jackie’s train of thought a little off course.
“I’m— I’m not giving birth, Jackie. It’s not coming out… yet. My water didn’t break… or
whatever.”

Shockingly enough, Shauna’s weak-ass excuses have essentially no effect on Jackie. She sucks in a
deep breath, before shifting around and wringing open the door. And, well. Jackie is walking right
out of the bedroom and into the living room, in about five fucking seconds. She isn’t really gone
for that much time, but it still feels like an eternity to Shauna and her aching body.

Once Shauna begins to mentally prepare herself for this upcoming disaster, Misty decides to barrel
into Coach Scott’s former bedroom with a bright smile on her face. She practically skips over to
Shauna’s bedside and cranes her neck down to gaze at her, which spurs Shauna to sink her head
further into the mountain of pillows behind her. Misty’s bug-like eyes are roaming all across
Shauna’s body, but it’s what she does next that makes Shauna want to deck her in the face and
smash her glasses up.

While Jackie awkwardly hovers behind her, Misty decides to place her murderous little hand on
Shauna’s stomach. It takes every ounce of Shauna’s willpower not to slap it away or literally break
it in half, which she considers a personal victory. Jackie seems to think the same way, because she
huffs out a relieved sigh and quickly diverts her attention to some speck on the wall.

“Hmm…” Misty hums, while using her other hand to stroke her chin. Jackie twists her head back
around and re-establishes eye contact with Shauna, before plastering on a forced grin. “I really
didn’t learn that much about pregnancy during the Red Cross babysitting course, but I am almost
positive that you’re dealing with some false labor pains…” Misty trails off, with a rapid head
shake. She glances over at Jackie for encouragement, but all she is met with is an awkward
thumbs-up and an eye roll. Weirdly enough, that seems like enough validation for Misty, because
she quickly whips her head back around. She then presses down on the bottom of Shauna’s
stomach kind of softly, but it still makes Shauna writhe and scream in pain. “Oops! I was just
checking to see if that did anything! Sorry, Shauna!”

The frizzy-haired freak strikes again.

Shauna blinks the tears out of her eyes and glares daggers at Misty, who is currently smiling all
gingerly at her. She then peers over Misty’s sweater-clad shoulder, in order to catch Jackie’s gaze.

Jackie shakes her head at Shauna and then juts the butts of her palms into her eyelids, before
rubbing them vigorously. Shauna can tell how stressed she is, thanks to the sheer amount of lines
currently marring her naturally smooth forehead.

Without tearing her hands away from her face, Jackie sighs and then sucks up the courage to offer
up her apologies. Her lips move of their own accord, like a team of ghosts. Not a singular word
actually spills out of them, but Shauna is basically an expert at reading Jackie’s lips. It’s basically
second nature at this point, thanks to years upon years of talking to each other across elementary
school classrooms.
 Jackie’s mouth moves up and down, in order to formulate the phrase: “I’m so sorry.”

Shauna wants to reassure her that everything is going to be fine, but she honestly can’t anymore.
She’s not mad at Jackie, in any shape or form. Shauna’s almost positive that she’s not even mad at
one specific person, too. Like, at this point, Shauna’s just mad at the entire world at large.

Actually… scratch that.

Shauna is downright infuriated with Misty fucking Quigley and her murderous tendencies. She is
also pissed that Coach Scott is dead, presumably because he decided to announce that he likes
dudes and not poofy-haired high school girls.

With Misty’s hands swarming around her stomach, Shauna begins to wish that she had access to a
time machine. She would love to press some kind of magical, Uno Reverse card, just so that she
could travel back to this morning.

If Shauna had a do-over, she would probably let Natalie kick Misty’s annoying ass in the
overpacked living room. It’s not like the rest of the Yellowjackets wouldn’t chant and cheer at that
sight, like the cheerleaders that sometimes performed at their games.

Chapter End Notes

anyways… quick rip to coach scott. loved u even tho u were honestly a bad adult
leader for letting travis go hunting after nearly shooting nat and then shutting down
after lottie said one threatening ass thing.

prob gonna wait till after the holidays to start this next chap, so it might not be finished
till like… idk early december?? hopefully?! so… i hope this one is good enough to tide
u guys over for now. things have been hectic recently but im trying to pump these
updates out cuz were close af to the kids and ik thats what a lot of ppl r here for.

also rewrote chap 1 and probably will edit/add sections to chapters 1-10 cuz they're
short and i hate them so... idk if ur vibing re-read i might get 2 out during thanksgiving
who knows.

coming up next: christmas. cabin-wide secret santa. shauna sees laura lee in her dream
and then basically forces herself to speak to lottie. natalie threatens misty for the one-
millionth time and accuses her of digging up coach scott’s grave. jackies got multiple
holiday surprises for shauna, but too bad her pregnancy pains get worse and she starts
thinking shes gonna d-word even more. also shauna doesn't know if she should tell tai
about van or just... let shit be. so much fun on christmas fr
 secret santa
Chapter Summary

“Mhm. I wanted to give you something that I knew you’d love. So… this kind of felt
like a no-brainer!” Misty exclaims, with a toothy smile. Mari’s eyes immediately
narrow at the announcement, but she somehow musters up the willpower to plaster on
a fake grin and toss Misty a thumbs-up. Shauna is honestly kind of impressed by
Mari’s acting skills, but basically everyone is afraid of Misty’s murderous tendencies,
nowadays. “Did I hit the nail on the head?” Misty inquires, a little bit timidly.
Apparently, Mari’s decision to remain absolutely silent has burned Misty’s abhorrently
lofty self-esteem. She sniffles and taps her fingertips against the bridge of her glasses,
which is now wrapped in a layer of thick duct tape. Lottie had rushed into the cabin to
grab a roll of that shit from the pantry, right after Natalie had decided to clock Misty in
the face during Coach Scott’s funeral. The punch was entirely unprompted and pretty
fucking unnecessary, but it's not like anyone jumped at the idea of defending Misty’s
psychotic ass. “Or— or did I—”

Or: The Yellowjackets celebrate their first Christmas in the wilderness.

Chapter Notes

sooo this took way longer to write than expected because of a shit-ton of crazy shit in
my life but im gonna pretend like i did it on purpose!! to drop it more closer to
christmas!! anyways, sorry for the wait and i hope u enjoy!!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

December 25th, 1996

Sunlight seeps through the cobweb-covered window, which rests right above the worn-out pillow
that is currently housing Shauna’s wicked case of bedhead. Luckily, the faint golden glow fails to
reach Shauna’s weary eyes or sting her pupils like sour lemon juice. She actually ends up
squeezing her eyelids closed even harder, in order to avoid audibly wincing or blinding herself.
Shauna knows that she might not be the most meritorious or praiseworthy person ever, but she is
really not in the mood to be a martyr and forego some extra shuteye. Usually, that specific job is
reserved for Natalie, who consistently wakes up at the ass-crack of dawn to go on solo hunting
expeditions. But, for the first time in months, Shauna doesn’t hear the tell-tale sounds of Natalie
loading up the gun and tip-toeing through the creaky front door. She is suddenly missing in action,
just like the rest of the Yellowjackets currently are. There are no signs of Van or Tai anywhere,
which Shauna finds a little bit weird. She has honestly become so used to hearing Tai and Van
giggling away about all sorts of things, that their chirping has begun to sound like some sort of
song in Shauna’s ears.

Speaking of songs, Liz Phair’s voice crackles over Shauna’s trusty— yet thoroughly outdated—
boombox in a muffled rendition of “May Queen.” Shauna has heard a gun's crack and a wolf's
howls several times over the past few months, but she hasn’t listened to the rhythmic beating of
drums in a long-ass time. The melodic tune sounds so incredibly foreign to Shauna’s ears at this
point, but the weirdness of this entire situation ultimately fails to register in her frazzled brain. So,
of course, Shauna quickly decides that someone has finally managed to piece together the shattered
Walkman that Jackie was so hellbent on fixing. And, honestly, that thrilling revelation is what
ultimately spurs Shauna to muster up the willpower to tear open her sleep-laden eyes.

She expects to find herself in Coach Scott’s former bedroom, sore body sprawled across his dust-
covered mattress and cocooned beneath a mountainous heap of mismatched blankets. Ever since
Coach Scott’s untimely death— or, messy murder, depending on who you’re asking— Shauna has
been sleeping downstairs, in order to avoid having to heave her baby bump and aching feet up to
the stupid prongs of the attic ladder. Shauna really does feel guilty about moving all of her shit into
her dead Coach’s vacant room and treating it like free real estate, but it’s not like she had any other
choices. There’s no way that her back— which consistently radiates with this sizzling hot pain,
thanks to this stupid baby— could ever handle another tour of the living room floor, especially
with how cold the cabin has gotten. Plus, it’s not like stuffing a few blankets behind her spine to
separate herself from the hardened floorboards would help, either. This fucking baby is protruding
out of her bony body like a mini-melon, which makes it nearly impossible for her to tie her shoes or
bend over to grab something, let alone sit up by herself. She hates feeling this useless and this
pathetic, but, surprisingly enough, none of the other girls seem to mind all that much. Tai and
Jackie basically begged Shauna to move into the bedroom downstairs, mere hours after burying
Coach Scott’s splattered body. And, in an odd twist of fate, Natalie fucking Scattorcio herself
helped lug all of Shauna’s shit downstairs. Shauna sat on Coach Scott’s dilapidated mattress—
teary-eyed, with her palms pressed into her eyelids— while Tai, Jackie, and Natalie wordlessly
deposited her bags and her loose clothes right at the foot of the bed.

So, yeah. When Shauna opens her eyes, she fully believes that she is going to find herself face-to-
face with a blank wall and a cloud of dancing dust particles.

But, nope.

Shauna finds herself staring directly at a row of wooden paneling, but these boards aren’t
weathered with cracks or covered in little insect holes. Instead, there is a gigantic and slightly
wrinkled poster depicting a guitar-wielding Kurt Cobain, plastered onto a section of its rigid
surface. Next to Kurt rests a hodgepodge of movie posters, which are all strikingly vibrant in color
and clarity. Shauna’s head spins and her eyes blink in confusion of their own accord, but they still
instinctively swivel downward. In a matter of seconds, Shauna’s baby browns land on a familiar
vanity, lined with an assortment of faded photographs from memories past. She squints directly at
the Polaroid picture that Van took of her and Jackie, at Mari’s infamous birthday party. After
studying the faded smile on Jackie’s face and the hazy look in her own eyes, Shauna’s gaze swivels
to an even older photo. It’s a picture that Shauna’s own mother took of them, right after they
performed a downright disastrous dance routine at their third-grade talent show. Jackie had spent
months designing what she believed was a choreographic masterpiece, only for their “Wake Me Up
Before You Go-Go” routine to get upstaged by Becky fucking Martin and her cronies’ ability to
cartwheel to the beat of “What's Love Got to Do with It.” Shauna figured that Jackie would be
absolutely crushed after losing the talent show to the girl that she so kindly dubbed Boring Becky,
but her assumptions were quickly proven wrong. Instead of pouting or exploding into a fit of red-
hot tears, Jackie just flashed her toothy grin at Shauna. She then wrapped her into a bony embrace,
right as Mrs. Shipman decided to dig her disposable Kodak camera out of her cluttered purse.

Before Shauna can allow herself to get lost in the haze of that beautifully innocent, elementary
school memory, a dainty hand grabs a loose strand of her hair and tugs lightly at it. Shauna
automatically clocks the significance of the gesture and swivels her head around, just so that she
can peer over to her left. And, unsurprisingly, Shauna finds Jackie gazing back at her with a bright
smile on her face. There aren’t any gaps in this grin, unlike the one featured in the childhood photo
that Shauna was just admiring. Instead, Shauna finds herself face-to-face with a row of picture-
perfect teeth and a pair of bright red cheeks. Jackie’s nose is also slightly crinkled, which Shauna
has always found super cute and really endearing. Shauna fights to bite back a grin at the sight of
it, while studying Jackie’s face a little more closely. Even though she is currently nestled into
Shauna’s rainbow-striped pillow, Jackie’s light brown hair is curled and styled to perfection. It
honestly looks immaculate, as Shauna is unable to spot a single fly-away in sight or an ounce of
frizz lining the top of her scalp. Shauna also notices how full her face looks, all of a sudden. She
hardly looks like she has been severely starving for the past few months, as her cheeks no longer
look all sunken in and hallowed out. Her chin looks a lot less sharp too, just like her skin appears
way more luminous and radiant than it has in weeks.

Jackie suddenly looks so happy and healthy, that Shauna decides to sideline her puzzlement and
just enjoy this moment. It feels so real and her bedroom looks so incredibly true-to-life, that
Shauna begins to wonder if she just imagined the whole plane crash. Like, maybe that entire ordeal
was just some twisted nightmare, conjured up by Shauna’s guilty brain and conscience. And, well.
If the Yellowjackets’ horrific holiday in the middle of fucking nowhere was all just a figment of
Shauna’s imagination, that means that the baby probably doesn’t exist either. With that thought in
mind, Shauna ducks her chin down and peers down at her own stomach with wide eyes. She
swears that she might actually cry tears of joy, once she finds it perfectly flat and wrapped in a
pristinely clean, red and white flannel.

“Holy shit,” Shauna whispers to herself, in a swift puff of breath. She then tears her saucer-like
eyes away from her own abdomen, just so that she can meet Jackie’s gaze. And, sure enough,
Jackie is now gawking at her with squinted eyes and a crooked eyebrow. So, Shauna rubs at her
temples and rolls over onto her back, before tossing an explanation for her behavior at Jackie. “I—
I just… I had this really shitty dream, Jax. We were on our way to Nationals, and our plane
crashed, and—”

Jackie scrambles onto one of her elbows, just so that she can peer down at Shauna in clearcut
confusion. “Shauna, what?” Jackie murmurs, with a teasing lilt to her voice. Her lips are pulled
back in this subtle smirk, but her eyes remain stone-cold serious. Jackie’s hazel irises begin to
dance all across Shauna’s face, almost like they’re searching for something. It’s kind of odd that
there are traces of worry in her gaze, especially since she keeps huffing out these incredulous gusts
of laughter. “Look, I know you said that you were fine, but Tai really did clock you with that cross.
How about I take you to Hackensack Meridian, just in case you have a concussion? We can show
up at Lottie’s a little bit late… like, it’s totally not a big deal. You’re our Captain, you scored the
winning goal, and you carried all of our sorry asses to Nationals. It’s your call, Shaun—”

Shauna’s jaw sinks through the attic floorboards, but she still manages to gather up the
wherewithal to shake her pounding head at Jackie in bewilderment. Like… what? “You made the
game-winning goal, Jackie. Not me,” Shauna spits out, rather abruptly. Jackie’s face instantly falls
flat, which spurs Shauna’s stomach to bubble up and gurgle with this foreboding sense of unease.
It’s a rotten feeling, but it is one that she just can’t shake. So, Shauna digs her manicured fingers
into the familiar fabric of her quilt, then scrambles to sit up in her bed. “Tai passed the ball up and
you headed it into the goal… not me. I— I’m not the Captain. Why the fuck would I call all the
shots? You’re the—”

Liz Phair’s enraged voice is immediately overpowered by a pair of shrill cries, which ring from the
depths of Shauna’s walk-in closet. Shauna claps her hands over her own ears and winces at the
piercing noise, even as her curious eyes dart toward its origin. She makes to get up and attempts to
swing her legs over the side of her disheveled bed, but Jackie thwarts all of her efforts fairly
quickly. Before Shauna can even manage to yank her heavy blanket off of her body, Jackie is
planting a palm on her chest and is using it to shove Shauna right back onto her soft mattress. Her
head spins and pounds, even as it hits her pillow with a soft thunk. Dark hair splatters all over its
pastel-colored surface, like fresh deer blood on a mound of untouched snow. Even though her eyes
are currently glazed over with a hazy layer of confusion, Shauna somehow gains the wherewithal
to swivel them upward and meet Jackie’s own.

Jackie glances down at Shauna with her abnormally big and bright, doe-like eyes. Even though her
irises are twinkling so fucking much in the sunlight, Shauna immediately clocks the dark purple
circles that have suddenly materialized beneath her eyelids. They droop like a twin pair of wilting
flowers, but, weirdly enough, the tired look in Jackie’s eyes is the least concerning sight in
Shauna’s vision. It’s like Jackie’s entire face has completely changed, in the blink of a fucking eye.
Her tan skin has warped into this sickly pale color, her done-up hair has been replaced by a jumble
of frizzy spirals, and her cheeks have become all sullen and dull. There are dirt marks trailing up
and down her temples, like mud-lined tire tracks. It’s an odd sight to behold, but Shauna isn’t
granted the opportunity to ask any questions or attempt to gauge why Jackie’s appearance has
changed so fucking much.

“Just… calm down. Lay back. Relax…” Jackie whispers, with a soothing smile. She runs her dirt-
caked fingertip over the ridge of Shauna’s nose, then wags it right in front of Shauna’s chapped
lips. Shauna’s eyes track the movement of it, even as her brain continues to swirl around in circles.
Like, when did Jackie’s hands manage to get all muddy and callused? “Laura Lee’s got them. She’s
like, the best Aunt… ever. A real Saint.”

All of the saliva in Shauna’s mouth evaporates in a split second, leaving it more barren and arid
than a fucking desert. Her heart thumps so wildly in her chest, that she honestly thinks she is having
severe palpitations, at this point. “Wha— what?” Shauna manages to choke out, even though the
hardened lump now resting in her scratchy throat makes it an almost herculean task. Jackie just
squints down at her, with this incredibly ominous and outrageously off-putting expression. An
emotionless mask now covers her gaunt face, as her smile has faded away and her glimmering eyes
have turned to flat stones. “Who’s them? And— and why is Laura Lee—”

As soon as Laura Lee’s name slips through Shauna’s loose lips in a hoarse whisper, the blonde-
haired girl practically materializes out of thin fucking air. She stands at the foot of Shauna’s bed,
with a luminous smile on her face and these glossy beams glowing all around her. That lengthy
white dress— the one that Lottie had worn to Doomcoming and has since taken primary custody of
— is wrapped all around her scrawny body, like a shroud. There are dirt stains and small holes
marring the silky smooth fabric, but it still floats and flows all dreamily, with each step that Laura
Lee takes. She twirls around the bedroom to the beat of Liz Phair’s vocals in a ballerina-like trance,
while cradling twin lumps of familiar fabric in each of her arms. The pile of cloth nestled in the
crook of Laura Lee’s left arm looks an awful lot like the striped Polo crewneck that Jackie has sung
praises to for years, while the fabric heap pressed against her right bicep seems to resemble one of
Shauna’s tattered flannels.

What the actual fuck?

“Aren’t you excited to meet them, Shauna?” Laura Lee asks, in that sweet and sing-songy voice of
hers. And… yeah. Shauna hasn’t heard her innocent chirping— which she has always found
secretly endearing— in a while, so the sound of it clouds her better judgment in seconds. Her short-
circuiting brain immediately shuts Shauna right off, leaving her to just stare at Laura Lee with bug-
like eyes and slightly parted lips. But, surprisingly enough, Laura Lee seems entirely unphased by
Shauna’s strange demeanor. She just keeps smiling at Shauna, while wiggling her arms in a way
that allows her to lightly bounce both bundles of fabric around. Shauna swears that she hears a little
whine soar out of the pile on the right, but she figures that she must just be imagining things. “I
know that Jackie is. Right, Jackie?” Laura Lee asks, rather abruptly. She then swings her gaze
toward Jackie, who is now bobbing her head all excitedly. Shauna just blinks between the two of
them in bewilderment, even as Jackie scrambles off of the mattress and practically skips over to
Laura Lee’s left side. “Lottie is super excited to meet them, too. Did you know that, Shauna?”

Laura Lee passes the bundle of blue-and-white striped fabric over to Jackie, right as Shauna’s spine
decides to shoot off of her bed like a rocket. Her stomach curdles and sours of its own accord, but
she still manages to sputter out a hodgepodge of disjointed questions. “What the hell are you even
talking about, Laura Lee? Who is Lottie excited to meet? And— and what the fuck are you even
holding?” Shauna shakily breathes out, although the way her chest is anxiously heaving makes her
words basically inaudible. So, yeah. Shauna isn’t all that surprised when Laura Lee completely
ignores her, but she is shocked by Jackie’s behavior. She now has her back turned away from
Shauna, which makes it impossible for Shauna to sneak a glimpse at her face. Jackie is also
swaying back and forth with her Polo crewneck cradled within her arms, which just makes
Shauna’s stomach twist into nervous knots. Something feels off, but Shauna can’t quite put her
finger on it. “What are you— Jackie. What is going on? Can someone just tell me—”

Jackie abruptly whirls around, which prompts Shauna’s remaining words to instantly die in her
throat. Somehow, someway, Jackie suddenly looks nothing like she did two minutes prior. Her
eyelashes are speckled with little white flakes, while a thick layer of powdery snow encases her
light brown hair. Jackie’s pale skin is also cracking from the cold, her previously pinkish lips are
now this deep shade of blue, and she is suddenly wearing an ice-covered, Wiskayok High varsity
jacket. Shauna swears that she can hear her teeth clattering together, which just spurs Shauna’s
heart to sink into the pit of her stomach. Jackie looks completely frozen and on the brink of literal
death, just like she did on that fateful morning. And, yeah. Seeing Jackie like this sends Shauna
into an absolute emotional tailspin, all fucking over again.

Shauna knows that she is currently hyperventilating, but she is unable to focus on the way her chest
is heaving or the fact that her dried-out mouth is frantically gasping for air. Instead, all Shauna can
focus on is Jackie’s chapped and frost-coated face, which is now splitting into a smile. If that sight
spurs Shauna’s eyes to swell right out of their sockets, then the next thing that Jackie does wields
enough power to send Shauna into a comatose state. She maintains eye contact with Shauna, even
as she dips her blue-tinted fingers into the pile of fabric still resting in her bony arms. Slowly but
surely, Jackie unravels the cloth from the object tucked beneath it, almost like it's wrapping paper
on a Christmas gift.

In a matter of seconds, Shauna finds herself staring at a teeny-tiny baby, with mud-brown eyes and
a tuft of dark brown hair atop its head. It sniffles a little bit, then sticks its bright red tongue out at
her. And, well. Shauna automatically buries her hands into her hair and yanks at it, before shrieking
at the very top of her lungs. Laura Lee flinches at the sound of Shauna’s screams, then clutches the
oddly-shaped flannel in her own arms, even closer to her chest. She peers down at it and smiles
weakly, in a way that makes Shauna’s blood turn colder than ice. The baby in Jackie’s arms
continues to wail, but Shauna can barely even hear it over the sound of Jackie’s coaxing coos and
soft hums.

“Hey, Shipman. Up and at ‘em, it’s Christmas. And… it’s time to do Secret Santa. Natalie wants to
get this show on the road, so that she can get another hunt in before it starts snowing again.”

When Shauna reluctantly re-opens her heavy eyelids, she finds herself in Coach Scott’s bed and
face-to-face with a somewhat normal rendition of Jackie. She is hovering right over Shauna on her
elbows, with this somewhat timid smile on her lips and a soft look in her eyes. Her face is much
leaner than it was when they were back in the Garden State, but there aren’t any layers of frost or
snow streaking her features. Shauna puffs out a sigh of relief at the realization, which earns a cute
little eyebrow quirk from Jackie.

“What?” Jackie asks, after puckering her lips up slightly and crinkling her nose up all cutely. She
then runs her fingers through Shauna’s bedhead, just so that she can tuck a few stray pieces behind
her ear. Shauna just chews on her lip and studies Jackie’s face closely, because she is totally not in
the mood to dissect that hyper-realistic nightmare right now. And, honestly, it probably isn’t even
worth discussing… anyways. Shauna figures that all of her guilt— over Coach Scott’s murder, over
Laura Lee’s bombastic death, over the whole, unwanted teenage pregnancy thing— is to blame for
that weird-ass, Groundhog Day-esque fantasy. So, Shauna can’t help but huff out another relieved
sigh, once Jackie begins to blab all excitedly about the Secret Santa extravaganza that she planned
out with Van. Like, not only is Shauna glad that the attention has been diverted away from her, but
she honestly loves seeing Jackie this cheerful again. “Don’t you wanna know who got you for the
Gift Exchange? Maybe Lottie picked your name and bought you a one-way ticket out of this literal
shit-hole.”

Shauna smirks, while images from a week prior begin to spiral through her brain like free-falling
snowflakes from the winter sky. Jackie was in the pantry sweeping up some snow that Natalie and
Travis had inadvertently dragged in after a hunt, while Shauna was sitting criss-cross on the floor
of the vacant bedroom, writing away in her journal. She had decided to check the little calendar in
the front of it on a whim, which is when she realized that Christmas— or like, a day close enough
to the actual holiday— was quickly approaching. Shauna quickly relayed this information to
Jackie, who then rallied up the rest of the Yellowjackets to help her find a Christmas tree.
Although a lot of the girls seemed more than willing to succumb to the Christmas spirit, Van was
Jackie’s biggest ally during the decorating phase and seemed entirely hell-bent on bringing some
much-needed holiday cheer into the cabin. So, after a few well-placed pleas from a pouty Van and
a puppy-eyed Jackie, Shauna tore a piece of blank paper out of her journal. She pawned it off to
Jackie, who wasted no time in ripping the sheet into little pieces, just so that she could scribble
each person’s name onto their own sliver of it. Jackie then shoved all of those scraps of paper into
a piece of discarded luggage and shuffled them around, before allowing each of the Yellowjackets
to grab a name from the pile.

Unfortunately for Shauna, Jackie’s name wasn’t etched onto the strip of paper that she ended up
plucking from that messy heap. Ironically enough, Shauna actually ended up drawing Natalie’s
name out of the luggage lottery. She quickly put together a little gift for her, by stealing Akilah’s
sewing kit and tearing up a ton of Coach Scott’s discarded clothes. After jabbing her fingers several
times with that stupid fucking needle, Shauna managed to put all of those mandatory home
economics classes to good use. She ended up weaving together a bunch of Coach’s old
Yellowjackets gear into a thick and cozy little quilt, which she hopes Natalie will get some good
use out of. And, well. Even though Shauna wasn’t lucky enough to pick Jackie’s name for Secret
Santa, she still ended up making her a Christmas gift.

With her dying black pen in hand and her somewhat cursed journal nestled in her lap, Shauna
composed a concise and eloquent Christmas poem for Jackie. They have spent the last two weeks
or so secretly hooking up, but Shauna genuinely doesn’t mind sneaking around, all over again.
Shauna does find it kind of weird that she was so willing to accept a return to their pre-crash rituals,
especially since their friends-with-benefits pact is what ultimately led to the implosion of
legitimately everything. But, after all the shit that has gone on, Shauna is perfectly fine with
anything Jackie is willing to offer her, even if that means avoiding any challenging conversations
about the current state of their complicated relationship.

“Hmm. Not sure I wanna hop into another one of Malcolm Matthews’ private planes anytime soon,
but I guess I’m excited to see who pulled my name…” Shauna murmurs, before breaking off into a
slow yawn. The ends of Jackie’s lips curl up a bit in response to Shauna’s admission, but Shauna
doesn’t really think much of the slight twitch. Jackie starts bobbing her head all frivolously, so
Shauna quickly deduces that she is just eager to finally have something to celebrate. Natalie and
Travis’ hunting expeditions have continuously come up empty, Coach Scott’s splattered body was
just recently buried, and one of the JV girls has spent the past few days hacking up a lung. So,
yeah. Shauna really hopes that Jackie’s Christmas festivities will help liven up the cabin and
provide the Yellowjackets with a much-needed second wind, because everyone— besides like,
maybe Lottie and Misty— has fallen under a gloom-filled spell. “I just hope it wasn’t Travis.
Like… what would he even give me?”

Jackie’s lips suddenly split into a wry smile, as a burst of girlish giggles flutters out of her mouth.
“It’s really too bad that I had Misty burn all of Dead Cabin Guy’s old porno mags. Trav sat on
those for a while…” Jackie murmurs, a bit shyly. A pastel pink blush begins to spread across her
cheeks, so Shauna can tell that she is genuinely nervous about something. Shauna automatically
quirks up an imploring eyebrow, which prompts Jackie to huff and plaster on another grin. “Well,
y’know. Maybe he would’ve given you one. Helped a girl out… or whatever.”

Before Shauna knows it, a snort is firing out of her nostrils and a wave of incredulous chuckles is
slipping out of her lips. Although Shauna is amused by the mere concept of receiving a collection
of shredded pictures of naked girls from the resident virgin in the cabin, Jackie clearly isn’t. She
rolls her eyes and slaps Shauna on the shoulder, even as Shauna continues to break down in
uncontrollable laughter. “If those things were still around, I’d let Travis keep them. All of them. I’m
pretty sure he’s like, the only person here who actually needs them,” Shauna murmurs, while
eyeing Jackie carefully. Her gaze drifts from Jackie’s eyes, to her nose, and then down to her
curled-up lips. Jackie has this dark look in her eyes and she is smirking unabashedly now, so
Shauna decides to throw caution to the wind. “Plus, you’re probably hotter than all those girls
combined. I’d rather just look at your boobs, anyways.”

That comment earns Shauna yet another light swat on the shoulder, but now Jackie is flirtatiously
batting her eyelashes and leaning her face in closer to Shauna’s. “Uh-huh. Very smooth… perv,”
Jackie casually fires back, although there isn’t any actual bite to her voice. She nudges Shauna’s
nose with her own, while alternating between toying her fingers around the top button of Shauna’s
flannel and running her palm against the thick fabric. “But… I think that’s a very doable Christmas
present. Even out here.”

Before Shauna can even attempt to sputter out a response to that bold statement, Jackie’s lips are
already on hers. She instinctively weaves her hand into the gold chain looped around Jackie’s neck
and matches the tempo of her lips with her own, even though their current positioning on the bed is
absolutely killing her lungs. Shauna knows that she could ask Jackie to swap places, but she is way
too stubborn to let this stupid baby or the enormous lump on her stomach win the fucking battle.
So, when Jackie suddenly grabs Shauna’s thigh and uses her grip on it to wrap Shauna’s entire leg
around her own hip, Shauna puts up absolutely zero resistance. Shauna also manages to remain
completely silent— save for the utterance of one singular, muffled groan— when Jackie decides to
tear Shauna’s hand away from the necklace chain, still dangling from her slender neck. She
wordlessly shifts Shauna’s hand downward, placing it on her own breast in an overwhelmingly
mellow manner.

Unfortunately for Shauna, things quickly skid to an abrupt halt, right after that. As soon as Jackie
decides to dig her fingers into the expanse of thin fabric lining Shauna’s inner thigh, the doorknob
on the other side of the room begins to jiggle. That rattling noise is then followed up with a slew of
heavy fist pounds against the rickety door, as well as an assortment of squeaky whines that sound
an awful lot like they belong to Coach Scott’s poofy-haired murderer.
“Jackie. Shauna. Please… hurry up!” Misty practically pleads, even as she continues to claw at the
fucking doorknob and beat her other hand against the doorframe. Even though Misty is absolutely
relentless in her pursuits, Shauna tries to keep this impromptu make-out session alive. She buries a
hand in Jackie’s hair and fists it tightly, in a desperate attempt to keep their lips glued together. But,
of course, Jackie quickly pries it out of her light brown locks and rolls off of Shauna with a sigh.
She lays on her back, peering up blankly at the ceiling, as her rapid breathing begins to slow and
Misty’s cries grow even squeakier. “Natalie keeps threatening to kick me… again. You know that
I’m not allowed to be in the same room as her for long periods of time! Lottie has already had to
hold her back twice!”

Jackie chuckles, while Shauna squeezes her hands into fists and shoves them into her eyelids.
“Fuck, Misty. Fine! We’re fucking coming, alright?” Shauna all but growls, before puffing out an
aggravated scoff for punctuation. Jackie rolls off the bed and Shauna follows her lead, with a little
less finesse and a lot more pregnancy-centric tribulation. With matching frowns on their faces,
Jackie and Shauna both make their way toward the door. Jackie reaches for the rusty knob, right as
the pitter-pattering of Misty’s socked feet whizzes through the thin sheet of wood. It’s clear that
Misty has scampered her merry ass back into the living room, so Shauna can’t help but roll her eyes
and whisper under her own breath, even as Jackie creeps her way through the bedroom door.
“Misty doesn’t believe that her fucked-up actions should have consequences? Real shocker there.”

With those final words and an irritated head shake, Shauna obediently trails Jackie into the living
room.

“Wow. Is this the sweatshirt that I’ve been looking for all week? The one that I thought someone
stole to make pads out of?”

Mari is sitting in front of the roaring fireplace, with a crooked frown on her face and her hands held
high into the air. Her tattered team sweatshirt— the mustard yellow one, with the faded navy
lettering— is clenched tightly between her fingertips, in an almost vice-like grip. She glances
around the cramped living room and allows her gaze to flicker across the Yellowjackets’ pathetic
excuse for a semi-circle, before settling her sights on Misty.

While everyone else— including Javi, the actual youngest person in their midst— is wearing an
incredibly peeved expression on their face, Misty is clapping her hands and shooting Mari an
innocent little grin. She then shrugs all nonchalantly, which spurs Shauna’s anger levels to soar to
a record-breaking high. Shauna figures her face must be turning red or something, because Jackie—
who is currently sitting right beside her— suddenly nudges her thigh with a bony knee. It’s a gentle
tap at most, but Shauna is still startled by the abrupt movement. So, while Misty begins to blab
about her re-gifting thought process, Shauna keeps her eyes locked on an equally irritated Jackie.

“Mhm. I wanted to give you something that I knew you’d love. So… this kind of felt like a no-
brainer!” Misty exclaims, with a toothy smile. Mari’s eyes immediately narrow at the
announcement, but she somehow musters up the willpower to plaster on a fake grin and toss Misty
a thumbs-up. Shauna is honestly kind of impressed by Mari’s acting skills, but basically everyone
is afraid of Misty’s murderous tendencies, nowadays. “Did I hit the nail on the head?” Misty
inquires, a little bit timidly. Apparently, Mari’s decision to remain absolutely silent has burned
Misty’s abhorrently lofty self-esteem. She sniffles and taps her fingertips against the bridge of her
glasses, which is now wrapped in a layer of thick duct tape. Lottie had rushed into the cabin to grab
a roll of that shit from the pantry, right after Natalie had decided to clock Misty in the face during
Coach Scott’s funeral. The punch was entirely unprompted and pretty fucking unnecessary, but it's
not like anyone jumped at the idea of defending Misty’s psychotic ass. “Or— or did I—”
As soon as Misty crosses her arms over her chest and begins to anxiously stutter, Mari rushes to
pacify her. It’s obvious that she is trying to stay in Misty’s good graces, in order to avoid ending up
like Coach fucking Scott. “No, Misty! It’s great! I love it! Regifting was such a smart idea! Right…
Akilah?” Mari mumbles, with an incredibly off-putting, tooth-clenching smile. She stares at Akilah
with these downright horrific, bug-like eyes, which honestly make Shauna’s own skin crawl. And,
the frazzled look on Mari’s face must have the same effect on Akilah, because she plasters on a
similarly frightening smile and nods her head vehemently. “See, Misty. You really nailed it!”

Shauna somehow manages to successfully bite back the scoff that has been threatening to leak out
of her mouth for the past few minutes, then diverts her attention over to the other side of the living
room. Her eyes immediately land on Lottie and Van, who are currently whispering incessantly. A
sinking feeling plagues Shauna’s stomach almost instantaneously, but the root cause of her anxiety
is basically unidentifiable. She feels guilty for not telling Tai about Van’s involvement in Lottie’s
twisted ceremony for Coach Scott, but she’s also not quite sure what to make of that entire ordeal.
Like, it definitely creeped her out, but Shauna is starting to think that maybe she overreacted a little
bit. Sure, Misty’s kind of a freak, but Shauna has always seen Lottie and Van as close friends.
Maybe they were trying to pay homage to Coach Scott and all that he did for them, in their own,
unique way. And, well. Maybe Lottie dreamed about Coach Scott, just like Shauna did about Laura
Lee. Maybe Lottie could possibly interpret it and find meaning in it, if Shauna were to actually
divulge the details of that—

Or, maybe, Shauna should just tell Tai about Lottie’s incessant need to please some unnamed
Wilderness God. She should also probably tell Tai that her own girlfriend has fallen under Lottie’s
spell, too.

As per fucking usual, Shauna settles for silence and stewing in her own thoughts. The Gift
Exchange continues, but Shauna mentally tunes out for a majority of it. Mari promises to take over
a few of Akilah’s laundry shifts, Akilah vows to help Tai chop some wood when the snow clears,
and Tai pawns one of her sweatshirts off to Javi. He bestows a carved, wooden bird figurine on
Misty, who basically weeps at the sight of it. Natalie rolls her eyes, but quells her desire to punch
Misty long enough to hand Lottie a trio of really soggy-looking cigarettes. She takes them
graciously, then passes Travis the hunting rifle, which she apparently spent a few hours cleaning
by hand. Travis then promises to teach one of the JV girls— named Crystal, Shauna’s pretty sure
— how to shoot the gun, which tears a chortle from the back of Natalie’s throat. Crystal swears to
help Van cook once Nat and Travis manage to shoot some game, which Misty seems to find kind
of endearing. She wiggles in place and smiles, while Van tosses a freshly-knit hat over at Jackie.

Although Shauna has never been that good at math, she quickly deduces that Jackie has to have
been the person to pull her name. She picked Natalie’s name and everyone else received their gifts
already, so it’s not like there are any other possibilities here. Besides, Jackie basically gives herself
away, by scrunching up her nose and firing her pearly-white smile at Shauna. She pats Shauna’s
knee with one hand, then waves the other at Natalie in an implicit command.

“I’m gonna need some help hauling your gift in, so…” Jackie trails off, with a well-placed eyebrow
lift in Tai’s direction. Tai obediently nods and rises to her feet, then rushes off into the pantry.
Shauna’s eyes blink at Jackie of their own accord, because she honestly cannot fathom what Jackie
could’ve potentially created or scrounged up around here, to warrant the need for moving
assistance. “Maybe you give Natalie hers first, yeah?”

Shauna gives Jackie one jagged nod, although that just makes her feel even more light-headed and
woozy. Either way, Shauna garners up the brainpower to reach behind her and grab the lumpy quilt
that she handcrafted just for Natalie. She then cautiously leans forward and robotically hands it off
to Natalie, who instantly begins to inspect the blanket with an unnerving amount of intensity. Tears
fill the crannies of her eyelids, while her cracked fingernails roam across each fabric square and her
gaze sporadically flickers up to Shauna’s face.

“These are from Ben’s shirts. Right?” Natalie stoically states, with a frown on her lips. Her eyes are
currently glued to a navy blue square, which Shauna sliced out of Coach’s old windbreaker. It’s
nearly impossible for Shauna to gauge how Natalie is feeling about this gift, but the coldness in her
tone spells trouble up ahead. So, Shauna cautiously nods and keeps her own gaze tilted downward,
in order to avoid replacing Misty as Natalie’s least favorite person in the fucking cabin. But, well.
Shauna figures that she might have inadvertently stolen that prestigious title from Misty, based on
what Natalie says next. “So… you cut up all of his shit? Without telling anyone. And then…
knitted all of it together? Instead of giving those shirts to someone else?”

Shauna’s eyes bulge and panic sets in, seconds after those electrically charged words fire out of
Natalie’s mouth. Like, even though her heart really was in the right place at the time, her decision
to chop up a dead guy’s belongings and stitch them together might be inherently insensitive. So, of
course, Shauna isn’t all that surprised when Natalie shoots her a death glare. She then bolsters her
fiery gaze with a condescending head tilt, in order to coerce Shauna into explaining her relatively
idiotic decision to destroy Coach Scott’s lingering legacy and waste supplies. “Well— I— I
thought you’d maybe want something personal to remember Coach—”

Natalie cuts Shauna’s tangent off, but she doesn’t do it with a steely punch to the nose or a smooth
kick to the lip. She crawls forward on her hands and knees, then wraps her scrawny arms around
Shauna’s shoulders. “Thanks, Shipman. I needed this,” Natalie admits, before squeezing Shauna
even tighter. At this point, Shauna can’t tell if she’s referring to the hug or to the gift, so she
decides to just match Natalie’s enthusiasm. She tosses her own arms around Natalie’s midriff and
tucks her chin onto Natalie’s shoulder, before nodding in tacit understanding. “Great way to keep
the memories alive, y’know?”

“Yeah,” Shauna murmurs, although the smile currently worming its way onto her face makes it
pretty hard to speak. Natalie pulls back and gives Shauna one more once-over, before unraveling
her arms from Shauna’s body. She crawls back to her spot along the circle, but she continues to
gaze at Shauna with this undefinable look in her eyes. It’s almost like she has just uncovered some
sort of ancient secret or something. And, although Shauna would love to decipher the look
Natalie’s giving her, a sniffling Jackie cuts her out of her reverie. She shoots up onto her feet like a
rocket, then rushes into the pantry without uttering another word. Shauna instinctively glances
around the circle, while shrugging her shoulders up like a complete idiot. “Does anyone know what
she’s hiding in—”

“Surprise!”

Jaws drop all across the living room, but Shauna is too busy spinning her own head around, to even
bother trying to register the shocked looks on everyone else’s faces. Her eyes bulge out of their
sockets and her heart pounds in her eardrums, as soon as her gaze lands on Jackie and Tai. They are
standing right in front of the doorway to the pantry, with a pair of matching, massive grins on their
faces. Between them rests a fairly mid-sized crib, composed entirely out of an assortment of freshly
cut wooden planks and a medley of scrubbed-up nails. Each piece of wood looks like it had been
individually sanded down, but Shauna can make out a few scratches and divots. All the little
imperfections indicate that each plank originated from one massive tree log, which means that Tai
and Jackie spent days hacking it into precisely-sized strips and slats. Nestled within the wooden
framework lies a makeshift mattress, shaped out of what looks like a flattened pillow and a thin,
striped blanket.

Shauna’s lips part open in shock, while her muddled gaze slowly swivels up and down, spinning
between Jackie’s beaming face and the homemade crib. While Jackie remains blissfully
enthusiastic and completely unfettered by Shauna’s visibly stunned expression, the smile on Tai’s
face slowly starts to shrivel away. She sinks a tooth into her lower lip and scratches her neck, then
glances away from the doe-eyed, dumbfounded look smeared across Shauna’s face.

“Ok, so I did rig the Secret Santa thing to get you, but I really can’t take all of the credit for this.
I’ve been working on it for months, but Tai helped out a lot. It took us weeks to cut up all of this
wood into equal-sized planks. And don’t even get me started on the like, actual assembling
process…” Jackie dramatically bemoans, with a theatrical wave of the wrist. Tai nods to herself
and chews back a pained expression, in response to that specific comment. Her forehead scrunches
up and her eyes squeeze shut, almost like she’s going through some kind of terrible flashback.
“Obviously, it’s like, super cramped around here. And everyone’s up in everyone’s business all of
the fucking time. So… we did everything outside when you were asleep. The chopping, the
sanding, the cleaning, the nailing, the—”

“You seriously did all of that… for me?” Shauna asks, with a small voice that is practically
dripping with disbelief. For whatever reason, Jackie decides to act like Shauna has just asked her
some sort of trick question on a pop quiz. She nods her head slowly and squints her eyes at
Shauna’s face, almost like a second head has just sprouted onto her shoulders or something.
“Cutting down trees, skinning wood, hammering it all together? In the freezing cold? Just— just
for—”

“Duh,” Jackie automatically states, like putting her health at risk for Shauna’s love child’s comfort
is a total no-brainer. And, honestly, that mundane reply from Jackie just makes Shauna feel about
three hundred times more lightheaded. Shauna knows that her hatred towards this baby is a little
unjustified, especially since she willingly aided in its creation by making a shit-ton of bad
decisions. Not only is it her and Jackie’s ex-boyfriend’s fucking fault that it exists, but it's also a
tangible sign of their catastrophic betrayal. So, yeah. If anyone should hate this stupid baby, it’s
Jackie. She should be the one crying about its existence and silently cursing it each day, instead of
Shauna. But, here Jackie is, with splinter-covered fingers and a handcrafted crib for it to sleep in.
“The baby needs something secure to sleep in, Shauna…” Jackie declares, so fucking easily. It’s
like the concept of protecting the child that Shauna doesn’t want is so goddamn simple and almost
reflexive to her, in a way that it isn’t for Shauna. “That way nobody like, accidentally squishes little
Shipman in their sleep.”

A shaky, slow smile creeps its way across Shauna’s lips. Although thinking about the baby makes
her incredibly uncomfortable, Shauna does find Jackie’s well-thought-out present and inherent
selflessness super fucking endearing. “Thanks, Jax. I love it. And— and I’m sure the baby will,
too…” Shauna murmurs, which prompts Jackie’s face to light up like the perfectly manicured tree
that Mrs. Taylor hires decorators to erect for their family’s annual Christmas party. And, even
though she is almost positive that she is going to die way before this baby can even lay its pudgy
body in that crib, Shauna manages to maintain her composure long enough to glance over at Tai.
“And… thanks, Tai. For helping. I can’t believe you guys managed to build a whole-ass crib, from
complete scratch. That’s fucking nuts.”

Tai smirks and shrugs her shoulders up all nonchalantly, before pacing across the room. She
assumes her previous spot on the floor, then offers up a cheeky response that oozes with self-
confidence. “No problem, Shauna. Besides… it was honestly light work,” Tai mumbles, while
Jackie makes her way back towards the rest of the Yellowjackets. Tai then leans back on her
elbows and gives Jackie a once-over, once she plops back down next to Shauna. “If I’m being
completely honest, the hardest part of the whole project was listening to Jackie whine whenever she
got a splinter.”
Jackie scoffs in mock offense and shoves a palm against her chest, in order to feign a severely
unprompted heart attack. “Oh, really?” Jackie fires back, although her tone is more playful than
sassy. She tilts her head and rests it on Shauna’s shoulder, which spurs Shauna to wrap an arm
around Jackie’s flannel-clad back. Her fingertips move in slow circles against the small of it, while
Jackie keeps her sights trained on Tai. “That’s really rich, coming from the girl that spent like,
three hours ignoring me just because she was cold.”

Everyone’s eyes swivel towards Tai and a chorus of laughter erupts from the circle, while Tai
waves a dismissive hand around. It’s clear that she’s not actually angry, because she is biting back
a grin and is currently shifting around to speak to a wide-eyed Van. The rest of the Yellowjackets
begin to split off into separate conversations, so Shauna decides to take advantage of the lull in
chitter-chatter and the lack of group discussion. She cranes her neck to the side and smiles down at
a doe-eyed Jackie, before pressing a light kiss to her forehead. Jackie’s eyes close and her lips twist
into a contented smile, while she hums all melodically.

Shauna’s entire life might be falling apart and congealing into an absolute mess right now, but at
least she can say that she genuinely enjoyed this year’s Christmas festivities. The cabin that the
Yellowjackets are currently trapped in might be a far cry from the heated skiing lodge in Vermont
that Shauna accompanied the Taylors to, three Christmas breaks and what feels like an entire
lifetime ago, but at least Jackie is still by her side.

Nowadays, that’s all that really matters to Shauna.

“Hey. The sun’s out and it stopped snowing… finally. So, I think I’m gonna go for a walk. Wanna
come?”

For the past few hours or so, Shauna has just been dozing on and off. She had intended on giving
Jackie her gift right after Secret Santa, but those plans fell through once Natalie had decided to tear
another jug of berry booze from a shelf in the pantry. While everyone else passed the bottle around,
Shauna sat back and fought off a growing migraine. So, yeah. Once the rest of the Yellowjackets
began to drunkenly funnel out of the living room and into the dining room for a serving of pine
mash, Shauna decided to just knock out on the sunken-in sofa. But, at the sound of Jackie’s voice,
Shauna instantly perks up and sits up on the living room couch. The fire from earlier has been
reduced to embers and the sky is starting to darken outside, but Shauna figures that they probably
have a few more hours of daylight at their disposal.

“Sure, yeah. Of course,” Shauna proclaims, which earns a toothy smile from Jackie. Shauna then
scrambles to her feet and books it towards the back bedroom, with Jackie hot on her heels. In a
matter of seconds, Shauna is swinging the door open and rushing towards a stack of her thicker
clothes. “Just give me a sec to bundle up,” Shauna manages to toss over her shoulder, while
clawing her way through a heap of flannel fabric. She bypasses every single one of them, in favor
of her weathered varsity jacket. It’s like finding a needle in a haystack, but Shauna eventually
locates the jacket and promptly shrugs it on. Shauna then marches back over to the doorway, where
Jackie is leaning up against the doorframe, with a hand on her hip and a smile on her face. “Alright,
I’m good to go.”

Slowly but surely, Shauna and Jackie make their way outside and parade through mounds of sloshy
snow. They end up passing by Coach Scott’s shallow grave, which is marked by a massive stone
that a teary-eyed Natalie and an incredibly guilt-ridden Travis spent two hours hauling over from
the lake. Shauna’s stomach churns at the sight of it, but that sour feeling in her gut evaporates once
Jackie shoots her a faint smile. The wind howls around them and a few stray flakes fall from the
trees above them, littering both of their heads with little white specks. Unadulterated silence lingers
between them while they make their way through a ring of oak trees, but it isn’t stifling or
uncomfortable. Jackie keeps her eyes trained ahead, but she keeps nibbling on her lip and tossing
these wayward glances in Shauna’s direction. Eventually, after edging their way even deeper into
the snow-covered woods, Jackie grabs Shauna’s hand and pulls her to an abrupt halt. Before
Shauna can even attempt to get a word in or ask Jackie why they’re pausing on this trek, Jackie is
whirling around to face her.

“Do you remember that one time we ditched my parents’ stupid fucking Christmas party to go to
the PNC light show? Junior year?” Jackie shyly asks, beneath lowered lashes. Shauna isn’t quite
sure where she’s going with this one, but she smiles and nods at the memory. That’s apparently the
exact response that Jackie was looking for, because she quietly hums and starts to play around with
Shauna’s hand. “My mom was pissed that we stole her Mercedes and left before my dad’s dumb-
ass speech. I was grounded for like, two weeks after that stunt. But it was so worth it. That was
like, my best Christmas ever.”

Shauna gnaws at the inside of her cheek and tilts her head to the side, just so that she can study
Jackie’s face a little more closely. Unfortunately for Shauna, Jackie’s expression doesn’t give
much away. She’s not quite sure why Jackie has decided to take a stroll down memory lane, so she
decides to ask her a hodgepodge of questions. “Yeah. That was one of my favorites, too. But I think
the skiing trip your parents took us on might have that one topped. The urgent care visit after I
twisted my ankle on that massive slope was super festive,” Shauna quips, with a playful smirk.
Jackie drops Shauna’s hand and rolls her eyes good-naturedly, before pushing on her shoulder in
faux offense. “We’ve had a lot of good Christmases together, honestly. I’d say the fourth-grade
Florida vacation is also up there. But… uh. What’s with the trip down memory lane? You kinda
sound like that guy from It’s A Wonderful Life, right now.”

Although an innocent giggle pours out of Jackie’s mouth, she takes a step back and suddenly
decides to drop her grip on Shauna’s hand. Thankfully, Shauna isn’t granted the opportunity to
worry about potentially saying the wrong thing for very long, because Jackie quickly loops both of
her arms around Shauna’s neck. “I’ve just been thinking… about us. A lot,” Jackie admits, with a
sly grin. In an instant, Shauna’s heart begins to thump wildly in her chest and her nerves begin to
buzz with nervous energy. But, Shauna does somehow manage to raise an eyebrow, which
encourages Jackie to resume speaking. “I know we’ve been like, hooking up… a lot. Sneaking
around, or whatever. But— but… I don’t know. I think I just realized that all of my best memories
are with you. And— and I want to make more… with you in them.”

Shauna suddenly feels so lightheaded, that her blinks come slowly and her words stick to the roof
of her mouth. “What are you— what are you trying to say right now, Jax?” Shauna all but stutters
out, after several elongated seconds filled with silence and shocked stares. Jackie’s lips clap
together in a teasing pucker and her hazel eyes light up a little bit, while her arms instinctively
tighten around Shauna’s neck. Her own hands gravitate towards the small of Jackie’s back, which
she clutches onto like an anchor. Shauna honestly feels like she could float up into the sky at any
given moment, so the feeling of Jackie’s jacket under her fingertips is kind of grounding. “I— I
don’t wanna overthink anything, because I don’t think I could handle being wrong about where
you're going with this.”

“Well, I’m gonna go out on a limb and tell you that you’re not overthinking what I’m trying to say.
Sorry for sounding like, so cryptic before. But, I just— I guess I’m just trying to say that I really
want you to be my girlfriend again. Like, officially…” Jackie sheepishly admits, while Shauna’s
entire jaw ungracefully drops right onto the snowy floor beneath them. Shauna figures that she
probably looks like she has just been zapped with a frayed electrical wire, but the stunned
expression on her face seemingly has no effect on Jackie’s over-anxious rambling. “I— I think
Coach Ben dying kinda put things in perspective, y’know? Like— like something bad or random
could happen out here, at any given moment. Who fucking knows if we’re ever gonna make it out
of here. So— so I just want to focus on being happy. And you’re like, the only person who has
ever made me really happy…” Jackie sputters out, words flying from her mouth so fast that her
cheeks begin to turn pink from the physical strain of moving her lips at such a rapid speed. At this
point, Shauna’s chest is seizing up so much that she’s almost positive she might actually have a
heart attack. So, while Jackie continues to mumble, Shauna just blinks at her like a complete idiot.
“I just love you so fucking much. Plus, I know you’re not gonna break my heart like that, ever
again. I trust you, Shauna. I really do.”

Shauna has been dreaming of this moment for months, but she is so astonished and caught off
guard by Jackie’s sudden love proclamations, that all she can do is fucking nod. For whatever
reason, Jackie seems to find Shauna’s broken brain sort of endearing, because she doesn’t try to
squeeze any words out of her. Instead, Jackie simply presses one quick kiss to Shauna’s lips and
then leans back with a smile on her face. She starts to sway back and forth, with her arms still
locked around Shauna’s neck and her hazel eyes glued to Shauna’s reddening face.

Thankfully, Shauna regains brain function and the ability to formulate coherent sentences, fairly
fucking fast. “I want that too, Jackie. I love you and I want us to be together— like, actually
together— again, so fucking bad. But— but are you sure? I— I fucked up so much and hurt you a
lot, Jackie,” Shauna passionately proclaims, although her frazzled nerves and swooping heart cause
her voice to tremble a bit. Jackie’s lips twist into a pout and her head shakes, to and fro. It’s almost
like Jackie completely forgot about the entire Jeff thing, with the way she’s currently gawking at
Shauna’s face. “Look, I want to forget all about the Jeff shit, too. Trust me. But— but it happened.
I lied to you, for months. And you didn’t deserve that, at all. I just— I just don’t want to hurt you
again. I’m not a good person, and—”

One of Jackie’s small hands quickly shoots upward, which allows her to run her soothing fingertips
through Shauna’s hair. “Uh-uh. Stop. You are a good person, you just made some mistakes…”
Jackie confirms, with a firm head jolt and a slight frown. Shauna sighs and nibbles on her lip, in
order to quell the tears that are threatening to spill from her eyes. She has never deserved Jackie’s
kindness, but her decision to fuck Jeff behind her back kind of set that particular fact in stone. “But,
I know you, Shauna. I remember what you said on my birthday, ok? I know that you’re not gonna
break my heart like that, ever again. And— and I forgive you. I did a long-ass time ago. So…
maybe you just need to work on forgiving yourself, yeah?”

Shauna’s chest heaves, while she huffs out a lengthy and shaky sigh. As soon as Jackie raises a
quizzical eyebrow at her, Shauna’s lips split into a faint smile and she nods her head. “Yeah. I think
you’re right, Jax. I’m— I’m working on the whole, self-forgiveness thing. Slowly but surely,”
Shauna swears, although she knows— damn fucking well— that she has spent the last several
months drowning in a vat of her own guilt and inner loathing. But, now that Jackie has granted her
permission to forgive herself, Shauna thinks that she might actually give it a go. “And, um. I really
do want to be your girlfriend again, so—”

Before Shauna can finish that last thought, Jackie is covering Shauna’s lips with her own mouth.
Although Jackie is currently kissing her languidly, her hands are a little bolder in their pursuits. She
unravels her arms from Shauna’s neck and sticks them on her hips, then uses her grip on Shauna’s
waist to steer her towards a nearby tree. Shauna’s head and back crash into it with a soft thunk,
which spurs Jackie to suddenly pry her lips away. With a worried look on her face, Jackie smooths
her hands over Shauna’s hair and checks for any damage done to her skull.

“Fuck. Are you ok? I didn’t like, hurt you… did I?" Jackie asks, a little bit frantically. Shauna
shakes her head with a knowing smirk, which prompts Jackie to calm down almost instantly. She
sucks in a deep breath and places a quick kiss on the crown of Shauna’s head, before pulling back
to get a good look at her. “Good. ‘Cause I don’t think injuring my girlfriend on our first day back
together would be a good way to kick things off.”

Shauna rolls her eyes all lovingly and then rushes to loop her arms around Jackie’s neck, just so that
she can pull her back into another kiss. Jackie’s hands shift from Shauna’s hips to her cheeks,
cupping them and stroking them like they’re precious. Her lips continue to move against Shauna’s
at a slow but sure pace, but it’s honestly perfect. After slowly slithering her tongue into Shauna’s
mouth, one of Jackie’s hands drags back toward her waist. In a matter of seconds, Jackie is pulling
away and nudging her nose against Shauna’s. Although Jackie doesn’t actually say anything, her
fingertips begin to toy with Shauna’s shredded shoe-lace belt. And, yeah. Shauna quickly nods her
assent and weaves a hand into Jackie’s hair, because she intrinsically knows what Jackie is asking.

Jackie’s mouth moves to Shauna’s neck, while her fingers work through the knot at the end of the
shoe-lace in record time. As soon as one of Jackie’s hands begins to slip beneath the waistband of
her pants, Shauna’s fingers tighten in her honey-blonde locks and a breathy whisper tumbles out of
her mouth. “I have a Christmas present for you. It’s back in the cabin. For— for when we get
back.”

“Mmm. And I wasn’t even your Secret Santa? That’s very sweet,” Jackie mumbles, with lips still
firmly pressed against Shauna’s goosebump-covered neck. Her lips then curl into a smile, right
before she tears her mouth off of Shauna’s neck and plants a kiss on her cheek. Jackie quickly pulls
back and shoots Shauna a flirtatious smirk, then slips the hand in her pants down even lower. It
takes all of Shauna’s willpower not to groan, but it seems like testing Shauna’s resolve is Jackie’s
top-secret mission, right now. “You’re so cute. Like… seriously.”

“Ugh. Just— just shut up and kiss me,” Shauna commands, even though she’s grinning even harder
than Jackie is, at this point. Jackie nods her head and obliges, shoving her lips back onto Shauna’s
with a lot more force than before. Her fingers slip even further down, ghosting exactly where
Shauna has been craving her touch, ever since those false fucking labor pains decided to make her
life a living hell. She moves her mouth about an inch away from Jackie’s, just so that she can plead
with her. “Jax. Please.”

Shauna can feel Jackie’s forehead nodding against hers, in silent understanding. But, of course,
Jackie and Shauna are quickly interrupted. Legitimately two seconds after Jackie presses her lips
against Shauna’s again, Misty fucking Quigley’s voice cracks through the air like a gunshot.
Somehow, the sound of Misty’s squeaky ass voice cutting through the silence, stings Shauna’s skin
more than a splash of cold water to the face. Jackie immediately tears her hand out of Shauna’s
pants and scrubs a hand over her forehead with an aggravated groan, while Shauna angrily re-ties
her makeshift belt into tight knots.

“Jackie! Shauna! Natalie is going crazy again!” Misty screeches, from a few feet away. And,
although Shauna is unable to spot Misty amongst the snow-covered trees and the embankments of
white powder, she sure can fucking hear her. Jackie clearly can too, because she grabs Shauna’s
hand and begins to lead her back the way they came. “She keeps threatening to drag me outside
during the night! She wants to feed me to the wolves! Please talk to her, she only listens to you
guys, nowadays!”

Jackie shoots Shauna a knowing look, before cupping her free hand over her mouth like a
megaphone. “Fine, Misty! We’re coming back to the cabin, right now! Just— just meet us back
there, alright?” Jackie screams, with as much vocal power as she can muster. Even though the
whistling wind has picked up speed, it apparently doesn’t drown out the sound of Jackie’s shrill
voice. Misty screeches out a slew of indecipherable words of agreement, then shuffles back to the
cabin with thundering footsteps. Jackie rolls her eyes directly at a tree in the distance, before
 turning her attention back to Shauna. “I fucking hate that crazy-ass bitch.”

Shauna laughs and allows Jackie to tug her back to the cabin, because… what the hell else is she
supposed to do?

Chapter End Notes

thank you to everyone still reading. wishing happy holidays to everyone. next chap
shouldnt take as long as this one lol

coming up next: shauna has another laura lee-centric dream, which leads her to lottie. a
lot of other spooky stuff happens, which results in shauna slowly beginning to believe
in lottie's ritualistic practices.
 a kiss before lying
Chapter Summary

In all of Shauna’s most recent nightmares, there have been two fucking babies. On
Christmas, she tossed and turned in bed, while she imagined Laura Lee cradling one
and Jackie holding the other. Since then, Laura Lee has haunted Shauna’s dreams by
repeatedly asking her if she is ready to meet ‘them.’ And, yeah. Shauna has always
found that kind of weird and a little bit mind-bending. Like, the dream version of
Laura Lee could have easily referred to the baby as ‘her,’ or ‘him,’ or ‘it.’ But, nope.
Her specter has always alluded to the existence of twins, hinting that two fucking
babies have taken up residence in Shauna’s womb.

Or: Shauna is straight-up not having a good time. For a variety of reasons.

Chapter Notes

yes i stole the title from pretty little liars because me and my friend are rewatching it
rn and i am not cool enough to think of titles on my own. ohh also pretty nsfw section
near the end of the second part. its been a while and misty finally has a friend to
entertain her annoying ass so

See the end of the chapter for more notes

January 30th, 1997

“They’re coming soon, Shauna. Aren’t you excited to meet them?”

As soon as Shauna cracks open her heavy eyelids, an abnormally bright glow explodes across her
brown irises. The white light burns so many holes into her vision, that Shauna is forced to squeeze
her eyes shut and massage her eye sockets. She winces and swears in pain, but eventually gathers
up the courage to re-open her glassy eyes. Considering how blinding that white glow was, Shauna
expects to find herself face-to-face with the blazing sun or some kind of solar eclipse.

Instead, Shauna finds a happy-go-lucky Laura fucking Lee standing at the foot of her shabby bed,
with a pearly-white smile on her face and a mischievous glimmer in her eyes. Her one-eyed teddy
bear— named Leonard, Shauna is almost positive— is tucked beneath her right arm, which is
covered in soot and bright-red burn blisters. She is wearing the exact same outfit that she sported
on the day of her fatal flight, except her pink cardigan and flowery shirt are nowhere near as clean
as they were on that horrific day. Her previously pristine sweater and floral blouse are littered with
black and brown holes, which look an awful lot like jagged burn marks. But, somehow, her khaki
pants look even worse for wear than all of her other items of clothing. Pieces of the thick, light tan
cloth have basically melted into the scarce amount of scabby skin lining her legs. In certain spots
where all of her flesh has burned off, Shauna can legitimately see portions of her bones. The sight
of Laura Lee’s singed bones and mottled skin immediately reminds Shauna of Allie’s blood-
covered leg, which just sends her into a dry-heaving frenzy.
Laura Lee shuffles to the left side of the mattress, then plops down onto the dust-covered fabric
with a huff. She peers over at the terrified look on Shauna’s face, which pushes her massive grin to
twist into a crest-fallen frown. “You’re not excited… hm?” Laura Lee murmurs, before pushing
one of her charred hands into Shauna’s hair. Laura Lee fusses over the massive nest of tangled
locks atop Shauna’s head, while Shauna bites back the urge to scream. Her chest rises and falls at
an incredibly rapid speed, once Laura Lee’s hand slides downward. It quickly creeps beneath
Shauna’s flannel blanket, before swiftly sliding onto Shauna’s bulging baby bump. Shauna’s wide
eyes instinctively swivel between the blistering, bright red skin on Laura Lee’s face and the outline
of her presently hidden hand. “It’s ok, Shauna. You don’t have to be afraid. Just ask Jackie what I
told her before my flight.”

Unfortunately, Shauna isn’t granted the opportunity to choke out any questions that might bridge
the gap between her puzzlement and clear-cut clarity. Right before Shauna can rearrange her
consonants and vowels into a set of coherent words, Laura Lee decides to pat her rounded stomach
with a knowing expression on her face. In an instant, a lancing pain shoots through Shauna’s
abdomen and forces her to bare her teeth in a wince. Although Shauna has been swarmed with
rapidly worsening pregnancy pains for the past few weeks, none of them have sizzled her insides
quite like this one. Laura Lee hops off the bed and crosses her arms over her chest, while Shauna
squirms in agony and scrunches her eyes closed. A series of sharp pangs sizzle at the base of her
pelvis, before worming their way up to her lower abdomen. The baby must have finally decided to
follow in Shauna and Jackie’s footsteps, because it begins to relentlessly kick its little feet against
her stomach. Between the knife-like aches tearing through her lower back and the baby shuffling
its feet like it is trying out for a New Jersey soccer club, Shauna honestly feels like her body is
being torn apart from the inside.

While waves of harsh, baby-centric pains continue to burst within her stomach and her pelvis,
Shauna’s body begins to shake uncontrollably. At first, Shauna figures that she is trembling in
response to the onslaught of painful aches that refuse to slow down and provide her with a brief
period of peace. But, as soon as Shauna feels a firm hand on her shoulder, she groans in misery and
tears her murky eyes back open.

In a matter of seconds, Shauna is greeted by Jackie’s worried face, instead of Laura Lee’s burnt-up
body and the white rays emanating from it. Even though those dreadful pregnancy pangs continue
to needle at her body, Shauna can’t help but sigh in relief and suck in a heavy breath. Laura Lee has
been starring in Shauna's nightmares for the past month or so, but they are honestly starting to feel
a bit more real with each passing day. Day after day, Shauna has either shot up in bed or woken up
absolutely soaked in a pool of her own sweat. Today, it appears that Shauna has chosen the latter
option, because she can feel a few strands of dark brown hair sticking to her forehead and the
drenched fabric of her t-shirt clinging to her back.

Jackie is hovering over Shauna on shaky elbows, while nibbling anxiously at her lopsided bottom
lip. After giving Shauna one more quiet once-over, Jackie rolls off of Shauna and lays on her left
side. She reaches one shaky hand towards Shauna’s bright-red face, in order to brush all of the
sweat-soaked strands of hair away from her forehead. “Bad dream?” Jackie eventually asks, rather
precariously. Although Jackie’s eyes are still laced with hints of concern, her shaky fingers have
apparently regained enough confidence to dance their way through Shauna’s mop of wet hair.
Since this has become their fucking wake-up routine over the past few weeks, Shauna knows
exactly what kind of response Jackie is looking for. She slowly bobs her head and then leans in to
kiss Jackie, which causes another aching pain to shoot up her spine. And, even though it takes a lot
of effort, Shauna manages to hide her pained moan once she pulls back. She claps her teeth
together in a forced grin and gazes at Jackie, who automatically tears her hand out of Shauna’s hair
and plants it onto her sweaty shirt. Her hand continues to float downward, until it drifts beneath the
fabric of Shauna’s flannel blanket and slinks under the hem of Shauna’s shirt. Slowly but surely,
Jackie’s nimble fingertips massage the base of Shauna’s spine and pepper her skin with featherlight
touches. “I’m so sorry, baby. Fuck. If anyone deserves some rest, it’s you.”

“It’s fine. I’m fine,” Shauna manages to wheeze out, even though the baby has begun to
legitimately stomp against her fucking insides. She tries to shift into a sitting position, but winces
and whines with each minor movement. Unsurprisingly, Jackie’s own back shoots up like a coiled
spring and she wastes no time in scrambling to help Shauna sit up. With steady hands planted on
either side of her protruding ribcage, Jackie guides Shauna’s torso upward and slowly leans her
back against the mountain of pillows lined up behind their heads. But, even with Jackie’s support,
Shauna feels more sore and winded than she did whenever Coach Martinez forced them to run
suicide sprints. She mentally curses the stupid fucking baby for the way her lungs currently feel
like they’re being squeezed between two massive cinderblocks, then plasters on a crooked smile.
“Thanks for all the help, babe,” Shauna proclaims, even though all of her frustrations have started
to seep underneath her skin. Like, Shauna knows that this baby is inevitably going to kill her, even
though Jackie still refuses to come to terms with that fact. And, although Shauna slowly worked
towards accepting her tragic fate, it still pisses her off that this baby has decided to ruin all of her
final fucking days. She can barely move without Jackie or Tai’s assistance, let alone go outside or
do any sort of fucking chore. So, yeah. Shauna resents this baby so goddamn much, that her
bitterness bleeds into her tone almost like a reflex at this point. “I’m sorry you have to like, help
me with everything. I hate being this useless, all the fucking time. Being pregnant is awful. I
wouldn’t wish this shit on my worst enemy. Not even Misty.”

Jackie automatically huffs out a laugh, but it trickles out of her lungs like air out of a wilting
balloon. Shauna obviously knows what Jackie’s real laugh sounds like, which means that she can
easily distinguish her forced, fake giggles from her authentic ones. But, unfortunately for Shauna,
Jackie’s artificial laughter has become a regular occurrence over the past month or so. Like, ever
since Shauna’s pregnancy pains began to worsen, Jackie has sounded like a broken version of the
laugh track that the producers of Friends love to use. And, yeah, Shauna can tell that Jackie is
acting all calm, cool, and collected in an effort to appease her. Jackie is trying to act like everything
is normal in order to keep Shauna from losing her shit. But, although Jackie really has tried to mask
her own fears, Shauna can just tell that Jackie is as terrified as she is. They both know that
everything is going to go to shit once Shauna’s water breaks, but they roam and wander around that
particular topic like it’s a fucking landmine.

“Well…” Jackie eventually mumbles, with an indiscernible look in her hazel eyes. She gnaws at the
inside of her cheek, then shifts her hand around to swirl it around Shauna’s baby bump. “I don’t
think you’ll have to worry about being pregnant for much longer. Nurse Misty said the baby could
come like, any day now.”

Shauna’s blood instantly runs cold, once those horrific words spill out of Jackie’s mouth. She
knows that Jackie means well, but she hates being reminded of how close she is to her combined
due date and death date. Shauna legitimately blinked back a wave of tears when Misty
ungracefully stormed into her bedroom, just to tell her that she was nearing the nine-month mark
and that her pregnancy pains would be increasing to an almost unbearable degree. So, yeah.
Having to hear the love of her life reluctantly repeat that statement with glassy eyes and a quivering
lip, makes Shauna nearly lose her fucking shit.

Shauna can’t bear to see Jackie this upset right now, so she decides to glance over Jackie’s
shoulder. But, that just makes matters even worse, because Shauna’s eyes immediately land on the
handmade crib that Jackie built. It’s currently tucked away in the far corner of the bedroom, but
Shauna swears that she finds herself staring at it about one hundred times a day. And, although
Shauna loves that Jackie built it with her best interests in mind, it’s still a painful reminder of
what’s to come. Just like the somersaulting baby in her stomach, that crib haunts Shauna like a
specter. It is so fucking tall, that its foreboding shadow looms over her and Jackie every night when
they try to fall asleep.

For once in her life, Shauna manages to quell her anger towards this baby’s existence and not say
anything stupid. Instead, Shauna eventually mumbles a painfully awkward, “Uh… uh-huh.” It’s a
pretty pathetic reply to such an earth-shattering statement, but Jackie seems to take Shauna’s
lameness in stride. She sniffles and wipes back a stray tear, before re-establishing her subdued
demeanor. A shy smile graces her lips, right as her hand begins to pet Shauna’s baby bump again.

The silence that has sprung up between them is so painfully awkward, that Shauna decides to turn
that little radio in her brain up to the max. Shauna starts dissecting each and every aspect of her
latest Laura Lee-centric dream. Out of all of the cryptic things that Laura Lee said, one statement
really sticks out to Shauna. So, of course, Shauna decides to break the silence by firing an
incredibly bizarre question in Jackie’s direction. “Hey, Jax. I… uh. I’ve been thinking a lot about
Laura Lee lately…” Shauna carefully states, because she is honestly kind of afraid to see how
Jackie might react to this. And, unsurprisingly, Jackie’s face immediately falls flat at the mere
mention of Laura Lee’s name. She is obviously freaked that Shauna would bring up their dead
friend, especially since Shauna herself is about to knock on Death’s door. But, well. For whatever
reason, Shauna needs to know what Laura Lee told Jackie, right before she died. It feels so fucking
important, but Shauna isn’t quite sure why. “About how brave she was, about how good of a
person she was. And, um. I remember her whispering something to you, right before she climbed
onto the plane. I— I don’t know why that stuck with me. But, do you remember what she said? By
any chance?”

Jackie’s eyes turn to saucers and she slowly opens her mouth, but she abruptly closes it way before
a singular word can tumble out of her lips. After several minutes of stale silence and rapid blinking,
Jackie clears her throat and decides to give speaking a try. “I— I mean, yeah. I remember what she
said. And I miss her, too. Obviously. But, like, she didn’t really say anything that crazy…” Jackie
murmurs, before huffing out a huge sigh. Shauna tilts her head to the side, in order to push a
hesitant Jackie into resuming her ramble. “Look. I love you, but I’m not sure why you’re bringing
this up. Thinking about what happened to Laura Lee just makes me upset. And— and all she said
was that she trusts me. To like, help you take care of the baby. She told me that keeping little
Shipman safe is the key to all of us getting out of here,” Jackie whispers, before shrugging her
shoulders up.

And, yeah. Shauna is also pretty fucking confused by Laura Lee’s decision to deliver such a bold
statement. There’s no way that Shauna is going to survive giving birth to this baby out here, where
there aren’t any sterile medical instruments or painkillers in sight. Plus, how the hell could a tiny,
useless infant help the Yellowjackets get out of the wilderness? It’s not like this mistake rolling
around in her stomach wields the power to conjure up a rescue plane or even a dinky old helicopter.

So, as Jackie tries to find the meaning behind some of Laura Lee’s final words, Shauna juts her
palms into her eye sockets and rubs vigorously at her eyes. “Maybe she meant that the baby could
like, help boost everyone’s spirits. I could totally see that, y’know? Having a cute little baby around
to play with would be fun.”

“Right… yeah. That’s probably what she meant,” Shauna finds herself saying, because it’s not like
she wants to pick a fight with Jackie right now. She knows that this baby isn’t going to survive for
very long, even if she does find a way to give birth to it in the middle of the fucking wilderness.
The possibility of both Shauna and the baby surviving out here— with murderous Misty fucking
Quigley serving as the only OBGYN on call— is practically slim to none. But, obviously, Shauna
doesn’t have the heart to remind Jackie of that grueling fact. So, Shauna just nods her head and
plasters on a smile, which seems to calm Jackie’s sudden bout of erratic breathing down. “The baby
could be like, our mascot… or something.”

A lazy smile works its way onto Jackie’s mouth, right before she leans in and plants a kiss on
Shauna’s lips. She then pulls back, just so that she can playfully roll her eyes at Shauna. “Mhm, for
sure…” Jackie trails off, before rolling right off of the bed. Once she gets to her feet, Jackie yawns
and stretches her arms up over her head. The Wiskayok ringer tee that she stole from Shauna’s
suitcase rides up her stomach, each and every time she shifts her arms further upward. Shauna’s
gaze bounces between Jackie’s face and her newly-revealed abs, which prompts a faint smirk to
split across Jackie’s lips. “Maybe our kid will be able to do backflips and somersaults, straight out
of the womb.”

Even though Shauna doesn’t want to have this baby for a plethora of reasons, hearing Jackie refer
to it as ‘their kid’ makes her hate it just a little bit less. Like, Shauna might be terrified by the
prospect of giving birth, but she can’t help but grin every single time those words slide into her
eardrums. Jackie quickly acknowledges the cheery look on Shauna’s face by offering up a nose
scrunch, then leans down to throw her shoes on. She ties them up quickly, then rushes over to the
other side of the bedroom. Jackie grabs her letterman and methodically slides it onto her arms,
before dragging her mittens onto her callused hands. Shauna watches Jackie get ready in complete
silence, then opens her mouth once Jackie paces over to the bedroom door and ultimately lays one
of her hand-sewn mittens onto the doorknob. “Are you going to check the rabbit traps?” Shauna
asks, with a raised eyebrow for emphasis. Jackie slowly bobs her head, while eyeing Shauna
carefully. And, well. Before Jackie can even register what is going on, Shauna is hobbling out of
bed all by herself. Shauna’s pregnancy pains have decreased an awful lot since this morning, and
she could really use some fresh fucking air. “Cool. I feel better and it is so boring in here. So… I’m
coming with you.”

Jackie doesn’t even try to argue, because Shauna shoots her a sharp look once her lips begin to
unfurl about an inch. She throws her hands up in mock defeat and flops onto the edge of the bed,
while Shauna sifts through her clothes. “Ok. But if you start feeling like shit, we’re coming back
here. I mean it,” Jackie declares, before crossing her arms over her chest and puckering her lips up
in a pout. Shauna huffs out a dramatic sigh, but ends up nodding her head in agreement. She then
turns her attention back to her split-open suitcase and all of her winter-ish clothes, which are
currently scattered all across the floor. Her brown eyes zip and zap all across the dusty floor, which
leads to Shauna finally spotting her Wiskayok High varsity jacket. While Shauna does manage to
waddle over to it without tripping over a discarded pair of jeans or a tight-fitting flannel, she is
unable to bend down to grab it. But, thankfully, Jackie saves Shauna’s ass way before she can
embarrass herself by audibly shouting at her baby bump. “Here, here! Wait!” Jackie frantically
declares, before bouncing off of the bed. She then rushes over to Shauna so fast, that she nearly
slips on one of Shauna’s forgotten sports bras. Jackie places a hand on the small of Shauna’s back
and kisses her cheek, then bends over a little bit. “Let me grab it, babe. I don’t want you to get
hurt.”

Yet again, Shauna is back to despising this baby and feeling like a useless waste of space.

Jackie coerces Shauna into taking several lengthy rest breaks on their march toward the rabbit trap
clearing, so it takes them an absolutely ungodly amount of time to get there. Shauna basically
walked at a snail's pace throughout the entire fucking journey, but her feet still throb like she just
finished running a goddamn marathon. She nearly slipped on ice about a dozen times too, but
Jackie kept catching her and preventing her from faceplanting into piles of fresh snow. But,
although Jackie successfully thwarted Shauna from contracting frostbite, all of those close calls
wreaked havoc on her back. Her spine aches and tingles, but Shauna refuses to complain. Even
though she knows that Jackie would grab her hand and walk her back to the cabin at the drop of a
fucking hat, Shauna decides to suck it up. She’d rather be out here—dealing with achy joints and
waddling in the freezing cold—than in that stuffy bedroom, where she is continuously reminded of
Coach Scott’s murder and her own, rapidly approaching demise.

So, once Jackie squats down and starts to brush heaps of white powder away from the presently
concealed rabbit traps, Shauna just crosses her arms over her chest. She braces herself against the
whistling wind and all of the snow flurries hurtling from the sky, while Jackie does all of the
fucking work. Her thick mittens scoop all of the snow off of each individual trap rather quickly, so
Shauna tentatively takes a step closer to her. Jackie slowly rises to her feet, then peers down at the
trio of wet and rust-covered metal contraptions. Shauna notices the corners of Jackie’s lips curling
up slightly, so she decides to get onto her tippy-toes and grab onto both of Jackie’s shoulders for
balance. Considering how ecstatic Jackie is, Shauna expects to find a generous quantity of dead
rabbits, tangled and ensnared within the triad of traps. But, nope.

As soon as Shauna glances over Jackie’s right shoulder and her eyes land on the rabbit traps, her
stomach begins to twist into tight knots. Two of the three traps are completely empty, but one of
them is a vile, blood-spattered mess. Lodged between the trap’s iron talons rest not one, but two
mangled rabbits. Shauna nearly gags, once she notices that one rabbit’s fuzzy tail is coated in blood
and its guts are hanging out of its abdomen. The other rabbit looks a little less disgusting, but its
lifeless eyes are drooping open and its bloody throat is resting on a segment of barbed wire. So,
yeah. It’s a grisly sight, but it’s not like Shauna hasn’t seen worse ones out here. She’s the resident
animal butcher and bloodletter, for God’s sake. Like, Shauna has spent the last few months slicing
through the necks of shot-up deer, stabbed bears, and frozen-over foxes. At this point, Shauna has
become desensitized to gore. Before winter hit and pine mash became the Yellowjackets’ main
food source, Shauna could easily stomach draining, skinning, and gutting the game that Natalie and
Travis had managed to catch. But, for whatever reason, seeing this duo of maimed rabbits makes
Shauna want to keel over and hurl.

She can also legitimately feel this burning wave of anxiety rushing through her gut and up to her
chest, but Shauna isn’t quite sure why she’s having such a visceral reaction to a pair of dead
rabbits. There are obviously a lot of mouths to feed in the cabin, but Shauna is so fucking hungry
that she will literally take any portion of meat that she can get at this point. Obviously, Shauna
knows that she should be ecstatic that they managed to catch some game in these rust-covered
traps. But, it’s honestly kind of hard to celebrate this minute victory, with the way her stomach is
wrenching and her heart has filled with this impending sense of doom.

In all of Shauna’s most recent nightmares, there have been two fucking babies. On Christmas, she
tossed and turned in bed, while she imagined Laura Lee cradling one and Jackie holding the other.
Since then, Laura Lee has haunted Shauna’s dreams by repeatedly asking her if she is ready to
meet ‘them.’ And, yeah. Shauna has always found that kind of weird and a little bit mind-bending.
Like, the dream version of Laura Lee could have easily referred to the baby as ‘her,’ or ‘him,’ or
‘it.’ But, nope. Her specter has always alluded to the existence of twins, hinting that two fucking
babies have taken up residence in Shauna’s womb.

The idea of having one baby is terrifying enough, so Shauna shoves that concept out of her brain in
about ten seconds flat. She would know if she was pregnant with twins, anyways. Shauna figures
that if she really was pregnant with twins, she would have sensed a second baby by now. Plus, it’s
not like she has felt a second heartbeat or a second set of little kicks stomping at the walls of her
stomach. So, Shauna decides to mentally curse out Laura Lee’s ghost, as well as all of the fucking
nightmares that she chose to star in. Shauna doesn’t want to think about the implications of Laura
Lee’s words, because she has already decided that there is one baby rolling around in her abdomen.

Once Shauna finally manages to free herself from her own head and snap back into reality, she
finds Jackie carefully studying her. Hazel eyes roam all across Shauna’s face, almost like they’re
searching for something. Jackie’s forehead is also creased and her eyebrows are raised, so Shauna
can just tell that she is deeply concerned. And, of course, all of Shauna’s sneaking suspicions are
proven right in approximately two seconds. “Hey… are you ok?” Jackie tentatively asks, before
placing a hand on Shauna’s forehead. Shauna knows that she doesn’t have a fever, so she’s not all
that surprised when Jackie eventually shifts her palm downward. She quickly cups her hand around
Shauna’s jaw and rubs a thumb over her cheek, while anxiously chewing at her lip. “You look a
little pale. And— and you kind of… zoned out.”

“Yeah… babe. Don’t worry. I’m— I’m ok,” Shauna mutters, before plastering a phony smile onto
her lips. Unsurprisingly, Jackie doesn’t take the bait. She searches Shauna’s brown eyes and
continues to run her hand all over Shauna’s pasty face, while gnawing so hard at the chapped skin
on her bottom lip that it begins to bleed. Shauna frowns at the sight of Jackie’s bloody lip, then
loops an arm around her neck. Her freed-up hand darts towards Jackie’s mouth, just so that she can
use her pointer finger to dust the blood away from her lip. And, thankfully, that little gesture spurs
Jackie to free her lips from the confines of her puncturing teeth. Shauna grins and tilts her head to
the side, then loops her other arm around Jackie’s neck. “I think the baby and the whole pregnancy
thing is just getting to me, that’s all. I guess I can’t handle seeing or smelling blood anymore.”

Jackie’s eyes immediately soften and go slightly gooey, in a way that makes Shauna’s stomach
twist with guilt. Shauna knows that Jackie wouldn’t tease her for viewing these rabbits as a bad
omen, but she really isn’t in the mood to tell Jackie about her nightmares or decipher Laura Lee’s
cryptic statements any further. Like, honestly, Shauna just wants to get the fuck out of here and
forget all about that pair of mutilated twin rabbits. And, for the first time in what feels like forever,
Shauna’s prayers are actually answered. Jackie shoots a sidelong glance at the rabbit traps, then
swivels her gaze back to Shauna. “How about we go back to the cabin? I’ll tell Nat that one of the
traps is full, but that I couldn’t figure out how to open it. That way, you don’t have to watch me
open that thing up and carry those dead rabbits all the way back. And, if I pretend like I’m too
stupid to pop open that shitty trap, Nat will make fun of my ass instead of yours.”

“Are you sure?” Shauna shyly inquires, because she honestly does feel bad about slowing the
whole food preparation process down. Jackie confidently bounces her head up and down about a
dozen times, then unfurls Shauna’s arms from around her neck. Before Shauna can begin to whine
over the loss of contact, Jackie is grabbing Shauna’s hand and slotting their fingers together. “But,
what if everyone gets mad at you for—”

“Let them be pissed at me. I don’t give a flying fuck about anyone right now, except for you.
Getting you out of here before you yack is like, my top priority at the moment…” Jackie admits,
with a playful smirk. Shauna rolls her eyes and huffs out an uneasy laugh, but she does end up
allowing Jackie to guide her back to the cabin. With slow but sure footsteps, the pair march
through the snow and whirl around massive tree trunks. Shauna loses her breath about a million
times and starts to wheeze like a dog’s squeaky toy, but Jackie makes sure that they take an
obscene amount of sitting breaks along their trek back. Shauna tries to assure Jackie that she is
capable of picking up the pace and taking fewer breaks, but Jackie shoots her down each time. She
keeps reciting this dad-like response, over and over again. “Those rabbits are already dead,
Shipman. They’re not going anywhere.”

Eventually, Jackie and Shauna find themselves back in the lukewarm confines of the cabin’s living
room. While Shauna warms up in front of the fireplace, Jackie makes up this wild story about the
rabbit traps and how she nearly severed her finger while attempting to open the loaded-up one. Just
like Jackie had predicted, Natalie rolls her eyes and makes a few sassy remarks, before heading out
to grab the dead rabbits with Lottie. Shauna is almost positive that Natalie and Lottie haven’t so
much as spoken since the monstrosity that was Doomcoming, so she really is somewhat stunned to
see them exit the cabin together. But, Shauna isn’t granted the opportunity to dwell on that thought
for very long, because Natalie and Lottie return from their expedition in record-breaking time.
After thumping their feet against the wooden floor and knocking all the fresh snow off of their
boots, Lottie and Natalie hand the dead rabbits over to Akilah. She ends up being the one to skin
them, gut them, and dice them up into equal portions instead of Shauna. Akilah then pushes each
piece of meat onto a twig that Tai had brought in a few weeks ago, before shoving the stick into the
fireplace and cooking up each slab of rabbit meat like she’s roasting marshmallows for s’mores.

Once all of the meat finally finishes cooking, Akilah scoops a serviceable ration of roasted rabbit
into each person’s rusty dinner can. Since nobody has eaten anything nutritious since the cache of
bear meat ran out, Shauna isn’t all that surprised when each of the Yellowjackets begin to shovel
rabbit flesh into their mouths in utter silence. But, well. While everyone else rushes to consume
their dinner and subdue their starving stomachs for a bit, Jackie just peers into her pea can with an
unreadable expression on her face. Shauna decides to snap Jackie out of her daydream by bumping
their shoulders together, but that gesture seems to work a little too well. As soon as Jackie is
brought back into reality, she offers Shauna a faint smile and reaches blindly into her rusty can.
Before Shauna can even register what is going on, Jackie is yanking her portion of rabbit meat from
the depths of her makeshift bowl and dropping it into Shauna’s.

In a matter of seconds, Shauna is shaking her head and digging Jackie’s scrap of roasted rabbit out
of her own metal can. “Jackie, no. I love you, but I’m not the only one around here who needs to
eat,” Shauna declares, after wrapping her fingers around the aforementioned hunk of roasted flesh.
Unsurprisingly, Shauna’s attempts to shove it back into Jackie’s rusty food can are absolutely
fruitless. With a pout on her lips and a defiant look in her eyes, Jackie continuously bats Shauna’s
hand away. “Jax. I’m serious. I want you to eat. You need to—”

“Sweetie, you’re eating for two. You and the baby need it way more than me. Eat it,” Jackie firmly
states, with a hardened look etched onto her face. Shauna heaves out a heavy sigh and tries to sneak
her hand underneath Jackie’s arm one last time, but Jackie swiftly moves her can way out of
Shauna’s reach. And, yeah. Shauna decides to give up and toss the rabbit chunk back into her own
can, but not before shooting Jackie a death glare and crossing her arms over her chest. Jackie leans
over and presses a kiss to Shauna’s temple, then tilts her head to whisper directly into Shauna’s
ear. “Babe, I promise I don’t need it. I’m sure Natalie and Travis will catch a deer soon, anyway.
The snow’s starting to melt and it’s gotten warmer over the past few days.”

Although Shauna is almost certain that Jackie is wrong, she knows that there’s no use arguing with
her. She gets so goddamn stubborn about certain things, that the idea of reasoning with her is
rendered basically obsolete. All of the healthy forest animals are going to remain in hibernation
until the end of winter, which is still in full fucking swing. So, honestly, Shauna has no idea what
Jackie is talking about. The temperature outside has not gone up a single degree in what has to have
to been months, fresh snowflakes continuously hurtle down from the sky above like little missiles,
and Shauna’s fairly certain she hasn’t seen a patch of brown soil since that blizzard hit. The
blizzard that almost killed Jackie and threatened to destroy Shauna’s will to live, by the fucking
way.

Thankfully, Shauna has spent the last few months strengthening her impulse control. So, although
Shauna wants to guilt-trip Jackie into taking her portion of food back, she decides to put her armor
down and follow Jackie’s commands. “Fine. I’ll eat it, Jax. But I really wish that you would,”
Shauna halfheartedly mumbles, with a pointed huff. She sounds an awful lot like a petulant and
whiny child right now, so Shauna is honestly kind of surprised that Jackie doesn’t jump at the
opportunity to tease her relentlessly. Instead, Jackie just plants a quick kiss on Shauna’s cheek and
begins to rise from her seat on the couch. And, well. Ever since they finally got back together on
Christmas, Shauna hasn’t let Jackie out of her sight. So, of course, Shauna immediately fires a
barrage of questions in Jackie’s direction, once she begins to slip her shoes back on. “Baby, where
are you going? Don’t you wanna just… sit with me, for a little bit?”

Weirdly enough, Jackie just shrugs her shoulders up in faux nonchalance and glances over to the
left of Shauna’s body. Shauna is so goddamn confused by the hint of nervousness in Jackie’s hazel
irises, that she instinctively follows her line of vision. Her gaze ends up landing on Tai, who is
currently nodding her head in silent understanding. Slowly but surely, Tai slides off of the couch
and begins to tug her jacket back on.

Suddenly, Jackie’s eyes are back on Shauna’s and she is anxiously scratching at the back of her
neck. “Of course I do, Shipman. And I promise that I’ll be back in a few to chill with you. But, uh,
Tai and I are just gonna run outside and re-arm all the rabbit traps real quick.”

Before Shauna can even get a word in, Tai and Jackie are basically sprinting toward the creaky
front door. Jackie wastes no time in swinging it open and the pair rush out into the whistling winter
wind, at a lightning-quick speed. And, well. Shauna is so fucking dumbfounded by Jackie and Tai’s
erratic decision to head outside, that she continues to stare at the rust-covered door in a stunned
daze. She gets so lost in her thoughts, that it takes her a while to even notice that Lottie has slipped
into the vacant spot next to her on the couch. After a theatrical throat clearing, Shauna is finally
torn out of her own head and thrust back into reality. She swivels her head to the side and
establishes eye contact with Lottie, who is currently gazing at her with a flat look on her face.

“Oh, uh, hey, Lot…” Shauna awkwardly remarks, in a way that makes her grimace between each
and every word. Unsurprisingly, Lottie maintains her cold countenance and just stares Shauna
down with lifeless eyes. Her gaze keeps darting between Shauna’s face and her baby bump, which
just makes Shauna’s stomach curdle, all over again. “What’s up with you?”

“So… now that you guys are back together, Jackie’s calling the shots again, huh?” Lottie states,
with a tone that somehow manages to teeter between impassive and needling. She’s acting like such
a stone-cold bitch right now, that Shauna can’t help but gawk at her. Like, Lottie’s hatred for
Jackie has never really made sense to Shauna, but it somehow grows even larger with each passing
day. “Maybe you should consider taking the reins in your relationship, Shauna. Especially after
how things ended up the first time around.”

In a matter of seconds, Shauna’s blood is boiling and bubbling up in her veins, like water in an
overheated tea kettle. All Shauna wants to do is deck Lottie in the face for mentioning Jackie’s
brush with death, but her entire body is aching so bad that she physically can’t. So, instead of
resorting to physical violence, Shauna settles for verbal brutality. “Right, I forgot that you’re the
resident couples counselor out here. Kinda ironic, especially since Natalie can barely even look at
you at this point.”

A sly grin worms its way onto Lottie’s lips, right after she decides to lean back in her seat and fold
her arms behind her head. Lottie looks so fucking smug, that Shauna can’t help but curl her fingers
into fists and glare at her. “Yeah, well, Natalie’s great and all, but it’s starting to feel like Flex
kidnapped and brainwashed her. She’s so different now. I feel like I don’t know her anymore,”
Lottie flatly says, with a snappy tongue click. And, yeah. Shauna might find Lottie kind of creepy
and she might not be her biggest fan out here, but she kind of gets that. Jackie has been sneaking
around and whispering with Tai for the past week or so, which has really begun to freak Shauna
out. So, Shauna instinctively offers Lottie a sympathetic smile, which is met with a knowing eye-
roll from Lottie. “Look. We’re not like you and Jackie. I’m not interested in dealing with a bunch
of relationship bullshit, especially out here. Plus, if we were to start things up again, I’d feel like
shit. I think about Laura Lee like… all the time. She’s never not on my mind.”
Shauna’s smile instantly wilts off her face, like the shriveled-up leaves off of a dead flower. That
sinking feeling in her stomach is back, along with that pit of anxious nerves that refuses to ever
close back over. She finds herself sliding across the dilapidated couch cushions, just so that she can
sit even closer to Lottie. “What do you mean by that? Like… do you just think about her? Or— or
have you also had dreams with her in them?”

Lottie licks her lips and eyes Shauna closely, in a way that kind of mirrors how a predator might
look at their prey right before pouncing in for the killing blow. So, when Lottie does eventually
open up her mouth to respond, Shauna isn’t all that surprised when her stomach immediately
begins to loop in circles. “I do both, I guess. Like… last night, I had a really fucked up nightmare
with her in it. She was all… burnt up. From the plane explosion, I guess. And it just— it just felt
real.”

Although her head is currently spinning to an almost unbearable degree, Shauna still manages to
gather up the wherewithal to speak. “What do you mean?” Shauna stutters out, with widened eyes
and a crooked frown. Her heart is thumping so wildly in her chest, that she can barely conceal the
fear currently creeping into her voice and crawling beneath her skin. “How’d the dream feel real?
Did Laura Lee like… talk to you? Or did she just like, hint at things?”

Before Lottie can answer any of Shauna’s squeaky-voiced questions, Van decides to drop down
onto the arm of the couch and shoot Lottie a cheery-eyed grin. Both Lottie and Shauna shut up
almost instantly, but Van doesn’t seem to catch onto the awkward energy currently being
exchanged between them. “So… are we still heading out, Lot? Misty invited Crystal and they’re
both hounding me for info,” Van merrily tells Lottie, before peering over at Shauna. She’s so
terminally cheerful, that she somehow manages to overlook the sickly and shocked expression on
Shauna’s face. Instead, Van just gazes between Lottie and Shauna, with a slight smile on her lips.
“Oh. Hey, Shauna. Are you coming with us to the altar, too?”

“Nope,” Shauna automatically asserts, way too fucking fast. And, unsurprisingly, Lottie wastes no
time in drilling Shauna with a death glare. So, instead of focusing her attention on satisfying Lottie,
Shauna decides to alleviate the pained expression that is currently gracing Van’s face. “Uh. I mean
— I mean maybe I’ll come… next time. I’m just waiting for Jackie and Tai to get back from fixing
the rabbit traps, right now. Me and Jackie have like, plans. Or whatever.”

While Van bobs her head in tacit understanding, Lottie rolls her eyes and clambers off of the
couch. Van shrugs at Shauna, then follows Lottie’s lead and hops to her feet. “Have fun with the
girlfriend, Shauna. Maybe we can talk some more, later…” Lottie throws over her shoulder, while
traipsing over to the front door. She yanks her sweatshirt off of one of the metal hooks lining the
wall and throws it on, before Van mirrors her actions in utter silence. “Y’know… maybe when
Jackie isn’t around to cover your ears or hide you away in that hot-ass bedroom.”

Seconds before Shauna can fire a bitchy comeback in Lottie’s direction, the front door swings open
and a shivering Jackie stomps her way into the cabin. A snow-covered Tai quickly trickles in after
her, so Shauna isn’t all that surprised when Lottie decides to give them some personal space. She
backs into the nearest wall and basically hugs it, then twirls around to call for Misty and Crystal.
The two of them quickly prance into the hallway with matching smiles on their faces, while Van
helps Tai wipe some of the snow out of her hair and off of her jacket. Jackie bolts into the living
room and flops down next to Shauna on the couch, before she even bothers trying to remove her
snowy garments from her body. Shauna’s gaze shifts away from the front door and darts to Jackie’s
face, right as she begins to peel her soaking-wet mittens off of her hands.

“Fuck. It’s freezing out there…” Jackie whispers, between sharp intakes of breath and chattering
teeth. She peers over the back of the couch, right as Lottie and her little crowd start to leak through
the front door and into the frosty air. Jackie then shifts around to glance over at Tai, who is now
strolling toward the pantry and the attic ladder. “Tai, didn’t you tell them that it’s like, awful out
there? Where the fuck are they going?”

“Van said they’re just going for a walk or some shit. Something about getting Misty out of the
house before she starts pissing off Nat again, I don’t know,” Tai huffs out, right after swiveling
around to face the couch. She peers over at Shauna rather cautiously, then turns her attention back
to Jackie. “I’m sure they’ll be back soon. So… I’m gonna go change and take a nap. See you guys
later, I guess.”

Shauna can’t help but notice that Tai looks and sounds a bit jittery, but she figures that she’s still
fighting the chill that surrounded her outside. So, instead of questioning Tai even further, Shauna
opts to let her off the hook. “Yeah, have a nice nap. Hopefully, it’s a bit warmer in the attic than it
is out there. Wouldn’t be all that surprised if it isn’t, though.”

Tai huffs out a forced chuckle and offers them both a swift wave, before turning on her heel and
disappearing into the pantry. Jackie slides closer to Shauna on the couch and wraps an arm around
her shoulder, before leaning in to whisper in her ear. “So… bedroom? Everyone’s basically gone or
doing chores. And… now we can finally test your theory about Misty being able to hear jeans
getting unzipped from several yards away.”

Before Jackie can fully lean back and re-establish eye contact, Shauna is grabbing her by the wrist,
yanking her off of the couch, and tugging her into what has become their respective bedroom. She
loosens her grip on Jackie’s forearm once they do manage to get in there, but only so that she can
wrap her own arms around Jackie’s neck and smash their lips together. Jackie’s hands find their
way to Shauna’s hips almost instantly, which sort of ramps up their impromptu make-out session in
about two seconds flat. She uses her firm grip on Shauna’s waist to swiftly steer her towards the
bed, then gradually guides her into laying back on the lopsided mattress. Slowly but surely, Jackie
creeps her way onto the mattress and carefully sprawls on top of Shauna. She is propped up fairly
high on her elbows, in order to avoid laying directly on Shauna’s swollen stomach and accidentally
crushing her. And, yeah. Shauna is obviously very thankful for how attentive Jackie is being with
her, especially since her pregnancy pains have worsened since Christmas and her bones have
somehow started to ache more than an elderly person’s.

Jackie bites Shauna’s bottom lip and tugs on it, even as she begins to pull away a bit. Her sparkling
teeth ultimately lose their grasp on Shauna’s lip, once she cranes her head back and shifts to sit on
top of her own knees. A sheepish smile plays at the corners of Jackie’s mouth, right as she begins
to slide her varsity jacket off of her arms at a painstakingly slow rate. Once it finally does find a
home on the wooden floor, Jackie’s hands slip even further down and her fingers begin to toy with
the hem of her own shirt.

All of a sudden, each and every insecurity Shauna has ever had comes bubbling to the surface of
her mind. Shauna knows that she’s never been as stereotypically hot or magnetic as Jackie, who has
always looked like one of those classically beautiful, old-timey Hollywood movie stars. But, before
this whole baby thing, Shauna figures that she had to have been at least passably pretty. A solid six
and a half on the universal hotness rating scale, or something like that. Like, there’s no way that
Jeff would’ve chosen to bungle his relationship with the most beautiful girl in Wiskayok to hook up
with someone that could be considered conventionally unattractive. Plus, Jackie wouldn’t have
chosen to forgive Shauna and restart their relationship if she wasn’t physically attracted to her
either.

That was then and this is now, though. Jackie hasn’t seen her naked or even like, clad in a simple
pair of underwear in basically forever. She looks nothing like she did a week or so ago, so there’s
absolutely no way that she’s anywhere near as normal-looking as she was when they started this
thing up in March. Nowadays, her stomach is huge and littered with ugly fucking stretch marks, her
ankles are more swollen than they ever were during soccer season, and her face turns green from
nausea almost every other day. So, yeah, Shauna hasn’t really felt all that confident about her looks
since she began to show.

Her lack of pride and wounded self-esteem must be coercing her into pulling a sour face, because
Jackie’s lips are now twisting into a concerned frown and her pupils are dilating to an abnormal
degree. “What’s wrong?” Jackie cautiously asks, before leaning down and propping herself back
over Shauna’s body. After a bit of struggling, Jackie successfully balances her body on one hand
and reaches the other one up to cup Shauna’s cheek. And, now that they’re basically nose-to-nose,
Shauna can’t help but notice how much Jackie’s lip is currently trembling. “Do you not want to?”

“No, no. Of course I do, baby. It’s just—” Shauna cuts herself off, with a sobering sigh. She
swallows down the massive lump that has materialized in her throat, but she is still unable to hit
the mute button on that nagging voice in the back of her head. Weirdly enough, it sounds an awful
lot like Jackie’s bitchy mother, who consistently criticized both Jackie and Shauna alike. Shauna
can feel her cheeks slowly burning red beneath Jackie’s unwavering gaze, so she quickly covers her
face with her hands and sobs into them. “I’m like… huge right now. I swear I’ve never felt this
shitty or looked this gross. God. I’m so pathetic. I chose this. I shouldn’t be—”

Jackie grabs ahold of one of Shauna’s wrists, then uses her grasp on it to drag her palm away from
her face. Shauna sniffles and slides her other hand off of her face, just so that she can wipe a few
stray tears out of her eyes. “Stop. Don’t say things like that,” Jackie murmurs, with a voice that
somehow sounds both commanding and compassionate at the exact same time. Her own eyes look
kind of glassy now, but her voice remains firm and her gaze never leaves Shauna’s face. “You’re
beautiful, ok? You always are. I swear you’re like, the prettiest person ever. I’ve always thought
that. Ever since like, the second grade.”

Shauna groans and turns her head to the side, just so that she can avoid Jackie’s eyes. She’s so
fucking embarrassed, that she’d honestly love to smother herself with the pillow tucked beneath
her neck. “Ok…” Shauna bemoans, while Jackie begins to kiss the sensitive patch of skin right
beneath her ear. Obviously, Shauna instinctively shivers beneath Jackie’s lips, which spurs her to
grin against Shauna’s neck. “But you like, have to say that.”

An airy chuckle shoots out Jackie’s nose, right before she pulls away from Shauna’s neck and uses
one of her hands to cup her jaw. Jackie then slowly tilts Shauna’s head to the side, so that it’s
laying flat against her respective pillow, once more. With Jackie’s strong fingers still latched onto
her jaw, Shauna is unable to swivel her head around or look at anything other than Jackie’s face.
So, yeah. Even though she’s always been secretly stubborn, Shauna decides to just give into
Jackie’s silent orders.

“I don’t have to say anything, babe. I mean it…” Jackie murmurs, before tipping her head like a
puppy might. Her eyes soften into pools of butter and her thumb traces soothing circles on top of
Shauna’s chin, which spurs Shauna’s mind to fizzle to a blank. “I love everything about you…”
Jackie proclaims, right as her fingertips start to trail upward. Before Shauna can even register what
is going on, Jackie’s fingers are playing with her dark eyelashes. “I’m obsessed with your crazy
long eyelashes,” Jackie admits, before skating her fingers a little bit further down. They slide up
and down the bridge of Shauna’s nose, slowly but deliberately. “I also think your nose is so cute.”
Shauna’s mouth twists into a sheepish smile of its own accord, right as Jackie’s fingertips begin to
stroke her lips. “And… you have like, really kissable lips,” Jackie reveals, which causes Shauna to
blush from her head to her toes. Jackie’s hand then creeps its way into Shauna’s dark locks. She
twirls a strand of hair on her finger and then swiftly lets go of it, in favor of lightly tapping her fist
against Shauna’s skull. “You’re crazy smart, too. I know I used to tease you all the time about how
much you read, but I always found it super sexy,” Jackie declares, before leaning back a bit. She
boldly peers down at Shauna’s chest with a sneaky smirk, then swivels her gaze back to Shauna’s
face. And, well. Shauna can’t help but bite down on her lower lip, with the way her stomach is
currently filling up with butterflies. “Plus… you’ve got killer boobs. Why do you think I always
tried to get you to wear that red dress?”

Shauna lets out a flustered laugh, then loops one arm around Jackie’s neck and plants her freed-up
hand on Jackie’s cheek. It takes a little bit of effort on account of her baby bulge, but Shauna
manages to arch up into Jackie and bump their chests together. They’re so much closer than they
were before, with their noses nudging together and their cheeks sliding against each other. Shauna
reduces the distance between them even further, by pulling Jackie in for a feverish kiss. The fingers
that Jackie has curled in Shauna’s hair tighten their grip, tugging at fistfuls of dark strands instead
of combing through them. Jackie’s mouth parts open slightly, so Shauna quickly darts her tongue in
between her lips. As soon as their tongues meet, Jackie groans directly into Shauna’s mouth. That
particular sound encourages Shauna to tear her hand away from Jackie’s cheek and grab ahold of
Jackie’s hand, which she then guides toward the front of her jeans.

Jackie suddenly decides to pull back, breaking the kiss with a deafening wet sound. She’s
absolutely breathless and her lips are all swollen, but she’s still got enough wherewithal to form
coherent sentences. “Are you sure?” Jackie asks, between ragged breaths. Shauna nods her head up
and down, lips bitten back in a seductive smile. “We seriously don’t have to. All I really want is for
you to be comfortable.”

“I want to,” Shauna confidently states, before leaning in to press a quick peck to Jackie’s lips. She
guides Jackie’s hand towards her shoelace belt, then swiftly loosens her grip on her wrist. “But—
but clothes stay on, for now. I’m just— I’m just really not in the mood to think about the baby.
Like, at all.”

Jackie bobs her head slowly and her ghost of a smile brushes against Shauna’s mouth, as soon as
she reconnects their lips. Her fingers begin working through the knots on Shauna’s shoelace belt,
right as Shauna decides to expedite the process by lowering her half-zipped fly all the way down
its metal track. Eventually, Jackie does manage to put Shauna’s shitty excuse for a belt out of
commission and shove her hand down the front of Shauna’s jeans. Her hand sinks down even
further, slipping beneath the waistband of Shauna’s underwear and settling between her thighs.
One of Shauna’s hands flies into Jackie’s hair, while the fingers on her other one clutch onto
Jackie’s shoulder and scratch at the thin fabric of her t-shirt. Jackie’s fingertips inch further down
to collect some wetness, then move back up to swirl around in slow and steady circles. Jackie
shoves her tongue back into Shauna’s mouth and Shauna drives her hips into Jackie’s hand, which
is currently moving at a fucking snail’s pace. So, Shauna matches the rhythm of her lips for a few
more beats, before twisting to the side. Their mouths disconnect with a loud pop, but the
disgruntled groan Jackie huffs out overpowers that sound without much effort.

Shauna’s fingers comb through Jackie’s hair, right as Jackie unceremoniously shoves her face into
the crook of Shauna’s neck. She trails her lips upward and starts to suck on the skin right below
Shauna’s ear again, but her hand still hasn’t picked up a singular ounce of speed. It’s almost like
she’s going slow on purpose, but Shauna can’t really pinpoint why. They can’t really drag this thing
out, because Misty’s annoying ass could come back from her Lottie-centric expedition and
interrupt them at any given moment. So, with that thought in mind, Shauna rocks her hips up a
little more and breathlessly whines at Jackie to pick up the pace. “Jax. Please, faster. I don’t— I
don’t know when the rest of them are coming back.”

Even though Jackie lets out a frustrated growl, her fingertips do begin to move at an increasingly
higher speed. Shauna moans and grabs a fistful of Jackie’s hair, which she then uses to yank
Jackie’s head away from her neck. She tries to guide her lips back onto hers, but Jackie keeps
resisting. Their noses keep bumping together and their mouths are so close that Shauna’s basically
panting against her lips, at this point. But, for whatever reason, Jackie won’t budge. There’s this
glazed-over look in her eyes, which honestly kind of makes it look like she’s been crying or
recently overwhelmed with emotion.

Weird.

“I love you so much, that I— I just… want this to last longer,” Jackie murmurs, heated eyes still
superglued onto Shauna’s face. She keeps her thumb trained on her clit, even as she suddenly slips
a pair of hooked fingers inside of her. It feels so good, that Shauna’s physically unable to decipher
anything that Jackie is currently rambling on about. “I don’t wanna rush—”

“Fuck, baby. I— I love you too. It’s ok. Just— just keep going. Like that,” Shauna moans, right
before Jackie basically plows her lips back onto Shauna’s. She kisses her for just a split second,
then hides her face against the side of Shauna’s neck, all over again. And, well. Shauna’s teetering
so close to the delicious edge, that basically all of her brain functions have malfunctioned, at this
point. Usually—in like, any other setting—Shauna would have been studying Jackie’s behavior
and attempting to decipher her somewhat cryptic remarks, from the get-go. But, after getting
interrupted by Misty and plenty of other external forces for the past month, Shauna has decided to
focus all of her attention on her long-overdue orgasm. “Yes, Jax. Yes… yes—”

When Shauna really begins to near the edge, her heavy eyes-- which she’s been fighting so
desperately to keep half-lidded-- suddenly squeeze completely shut and she begins to thrust her
hips up haphazardly. The steady string of soft whimpers and moans Shauna has been choking out
eventually dissolve into one sharp gasp, before her entire body begins to shake beneath Jackie’s.
And, although Shauna isn’t able to see the look on Jackie’s face when she finally crumbles under
her fingers, she sure does overhear Jackie’s reaction to it. A slew of muffled curses escape Jackie’s
throat and tickle the skin on Shauna’s neck, right as Shauna’s tense muscles begin to slacken a
little bit. She loosens her grip on Jackie’s hair and reaches down to yank Jackie’s hand out of her
pants, but Jackie seems to have other plans. As soon as Shauna attempts to tilt her hips to the side
and force Jackie’s thumb off of her, Jackie slightly shifts her mouth away from Shauna’s neck. She
can actually decipher what Jackie’s saying this time, but her eyes and nose are still concealed by
the column of her own throat.

“One more,” Jackie rasps, with a voice that is so incredibly hoarse and low. Once those words
manage to escape her lips, Jackie immediately goes back to trailing kisses along the column of
Shauna’s throat. Her thumb starts up again and spins in circles against Shauna, at a blindingly fast
rate. Within seconds, Shauna’s thighs begin to shake against Jackie’s hand, all over again.
Shauna’s hips buck beneath Jackie’s fingertips and match the rhythm of her thumb, which just
brings her even closer to the brink of her second orgasm. “Fuck. That’s my girl.”

A few minutes after Shauna’s first orgasm leaves her system, a second one is trailing directly after
it and is re-flooding her stomach with the familiar feeling of tingling warmth. Shauna tugs on
Jackie’s hair enough to tear her mouth away from her neck, then shifts her hand a little bit further
down, in order to cradle the base of her skull. She uses her grip on Jackie’s head to guide their lips
back together in a sloppy kiss, which muffles the sound of her wounded whimpers and satisfied
sobs. She cries out straight into Jackie’s mouth, right before her knees clap together and her entire
body starts to twitch at odd intervals. After spending a few moments catching her breath, Shauna’s
eyes flutter back open and her hand starts to comb through Jackie’s hair again. Jackie breaks the
kiss and pulls away, with a handful of sniffles. Her irises look a bit glassy and she seems almost
hell-bent on hiding her red-rimmed eyes against Shauna’s neck again, which like, obviously freaks
Shauna out an awful lot.

So, Shauna prevents Jackie from moving her face away from hers and tucking it back into the
crook of her own neck, by tightening her fingers around a massive clump of honey-brown curls.
“What’s wrong?” Shauna asks, while her heavy eyelids threaten to drift shut again. She yawns and
tries to blink the sleep out of her eyes, just so that she can keep her gaze trained on the pained look
that is currently etched across Jackie’s face. “Did— did I—”

“No. You were perfect. You are perfect,” Jackie reassures, before forcing a faint smile onto her
lips. She sighs, then shoves her hand against her nose and rubs vigorously at it. And, honestly, that
gesture looks a bit over-exaggerated to Shauna. “I think I’m just like, catching a little cold again. I
guess checking the rabbit traps wasn’t my best idea, after all.”

Shauna removes her hand from Jackie’s hair and attempts to slide it over her forehead to check her
temperature, but Jackie nudges it away almost instantaneously. She then huffs out a nervous laugh,
before leaning in to press another quick kiss on Shauna’s lips. And then, before Shauna can really
study her, Jackie decides to roll off of Shauna’s body and sprawl out on the left side of their shitty
mattress. She leans down a little bit and reaches for their discarded blanket, which she quickly tugs
over both of their bodies. And, yeah, Shauna’s all about reciprocating, so she decides to glance
between Jackie’s face and her blanket-wrapped torso in silent inquiry.

Jackie shakes her head and loops an arm beneath Shauna’s skull, before tugging their bodies closer
together. Shauna relents and quickly leans her head onto Jackie’s chest, then lazily tosses a leg over
one of her thighs. “Maybe later, ok? I just want you to rest right now,” Jackie murmurs, with a
theatrical yawn. She tilts her head down and plants a kiss on the crown of Shauna’s head, then
tucks her chin up against it with a contented sigh. Shauna somehow finds a way to snuggle up
closer to her side, even with her baby bump serving as a natural barrier. “I’m kind of tired too,
anyways. Let’s just… nap for a bit. I think we’ve got a few more hours of daylight.”

Shauna’s eyes roll shut of their own accord, right after she slowly bounces her head in sleepy
agreement. Her heartbeat slows down and her breathing starts to even out again, in the way that it
usually does whenever she succumbs to sleep. The arm that Jackie has tucked beneath Shauna’s
head suddenly shifts a bit, but then Jackie’s massaging soothing circles into Shauna’s sore shoulder
blade and basically coercing her into an even deeper sleep.

Even though her brain currently feels like it's made of goo and her limbs are limper than strands of
spaghetti, Shauna somehow has the wherewithal to register the sound of soft sobs. But, well.
Shauna figures that she must just be imagining things, so she decides to keep her eyes latched
firmly shut and her face nuzzled into Jackie’s soft chest.

It’s probably just Misty, sitting on the couch in the living room and sobbing to Mari about
Natalie’s hatred for her again, anyways.

“You guys really cannot be this fucking stupid. Shipman is going to turn into that dude from The
Shining if she wakes up and finds you both missing. And, hate to break it to you, but if you idiots
get lost out there we are never finding you. I know me and Trav found Javi, but that’s because he
was asleep in a ditch right near where we threw Doomcoming.”

Shauna wrenches her sleep-laden eyes wide open and shoots up in bed, as soon as Natalie’s
gravelly voice drifts into her eardrums. An air of panic sets in, once Shauna discovers that Jackie is
no longer sleeping beside her. So, instead of keeping her eyes glued to Jackie’s empty pillow and
her threadbare section of the mattress, Shauna hauls herself out of bed and inches towards the door
on shaky footsteps. She can hear a motley of voices whispering away in the living room, which just
makes her stomach flood with waves of anxiety. Slowly but surely, Shauna twists the doorknob and
inches the bedroom door open enough to tiptoe through it. As Shauna creeps closer to the living
room, Van’s voice becomes much more discernible than it was behind her closed bedroom door.

“Tai, we both know this is a dumb idea. If you guys get caught in a blizzard, you’re as good as
dead. And, fun fact, wolves don’t hibernate during the winter!”

A ringing noise pings in Shauna’s ears and her heart thumps wildly in her chest, as she practically
stomps her way back into the living room. Jackie and Tai are bundling up near the front door, with
Van and Natalie looking on from their spots in front of the fireplace. While the two of them look
fairly irritated by Jackie and Tai’s actions, Lottie and Mari appear completely unbothered by their
behavior. They’re both sitting comfortably on the couch, with their eyes and their ears turned
toward the dueling duos. None of them notice Shauna, who is currently crossing her arms over her
chest and blinking back a sea of tears. Tai’s lips are suddenly moving and Van’s face is souring at
whatever the fuck she’s saying, but the blood rushing through Shauna’s ears prevents her from
listening in on their conversation.

Before Shauna’s brain can even register what she’s saying, her quivering lips are moving of their
own accord. “Tai… Jackie…” Shauna whisper-screams, while digging her nails into the skin of her
own arms. Both of them instantly freeze in place, then divert their attention to Shauna. Natalie,
Van, Lottie, and Mari’s heads also swivel around to glance over at Shauna, whose face is slowly
twisting into a downright frightening scowl. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Ooohhh…” Mari hoots, before glancing over the couch and peering at Jackie. She’s too busy
staring at Shauna like a deer-in-headlights to meet Mari’s gaze, but that doesn’t stop Mari from
opening her big-ass mouth and acting like a cunt. “Looks like somebody’s spending the night in the
dog house tonight, huh?”

The room falls eerily silent, right as heads all around the room turn to face Mari. Legitimately
everyone— including Lottie’s stoic and stony self— shoots Mari a death glare, which prompts her
to toss her hands up in defeat and rise to her feet. She rolls her eyes, then marches into the
backroom that the Yellowjackets decided to convert into an indoor laundry station. Once Mari
disappears, everyone in the living room turns their attention back to Shauna. Jackie tentatively
inches closer to Shauna and holds her arms up to embrace her, but Shauna swats her arms away like
an agitated child.

“No!” Shauna snaps, with a voice that drips with venom. Jackie visibly flinches and jumps an inch
back, while the rest of the girls audibly cringe. Shauna’s so agitated and heartbroken at this point,
that she can’t help but stare Jackie up and down in utter disbelief. She unravels her arms from her
chest and shoves her hands into her own hair, while Van rubs between her brows with closed-over
eyes. “What the fuck is wrong with you, Jackie? What was your plan, huh? To— to treat me like a
one-night stand? You were really gonna butter me up and knock me out, then sneak out of here
without saying goodbye? When I’m about to give birth and you could literally die out there? How
the hell could you do that to me?”

Jackie’s jaw drops open and her eyes widen, which just makes Shauna’s blood pressure skyrocket
to a heart-attack-inducing degree. She looks so downright offended by Shauna’s words, that Shauna
isn’t all that shocked when Jackie begins to scoff and incredulously shake her head. “How the hell
could I do this to you? Are you kidding me?” Jackie repeats, like a broken record. Her eyes are all
watery and she really does look kind of guilty, but Shauna’s still too frazzled and irritated to force
her face to soften around the edges. “Shauna. I am doing this for you. We,” Jackie abruptly stops
mid-thought, then waves her hand between herself and Tai, “are doing this for you. I can’t just—
just sit back and watch you suffer, sweetie. So— so we’re going out there to try and find some help,
one more time.” Jackie pauses, in order to suck in a shaky breath. Her throat sounds like it’s filled
with mucus and her eyes are overflowing with tears now, just like Shauna’s are. “I'm sorry for
trying to leave without saying goodbye, but I knew you'd try to talk me out of it. But, like, your
pregnancy pains are getting worse, which means that the baby is coming soon, and I just—”

“The baby could come while you’re out there, freezing to death! I mean, seriously? Did you not
learn anything from the last time you spent a night out there? Or— or have you not talked to Van
recently?” Shauna screeches so fucking loudly, that bodies all around the room instantly begin to
shudder. Tai tries to open her mouth— probably to shoot some snarky retort in Shauna’s direction
for the Van comment— but Shauna waves a hand at her face and shuts her up, way before she
actually can. “I don’t want you to go out there, Jackie. I don’t want you to put your life at risk for
me, ok?” Shauna tearfully proclaims, while Jackie stubbornly shakes her head. Natalie’s eyes dart
between the two of them and she heaves out a dejected sigh, before disappearing into Travis’ room.
Shauna watches her go, then returns her attention back to Jackie. “Look. I get what you’re trying to
do, but there’s no fucking point. Tai and the rest of them didn’t find anything before. Nobody’s out
there to help us, Jackie. I’m a lost cause, I am going to die giving birth to this baby. And— and I’d
rather spend my last few days with you, in here, than worrying about you—”

“No. Nuh-uh,” Jackie fires back, with a wobbly voice and trembling lips. She swivels her head to
the side, just so that she can avoid meeting Shauna’s eyes. Shauna balls her hands into fists and
rubs at her teary eyes in frustration, while Van plasters on a sour look and glares at Tai. And,
unsurprisingly, that look draws Tai in like a magnet. She rushes over to Van, right as Jackie begins
speaking again. “You’re not going to die. Everything is going to be ok, baby. We’re going to find
help this time, I promise. And— and they can get us back to New Jersey, so you can give birth in a
hospital, with actual medical—”

Shauna shakes her head and bites down lightly on her lip, to prevent a slew of sobs from leaking
out of her mouth.“You wouldn’t be acting like this if you actually believed that, Jackie. So— so
can you please just stay here, with me? That’s all I want,” Shauna pathetically pleads, before
whipping out the puppy-dog eyes and the pouty mouth. On a normal day, Jackie would instantly
cave at the sight of Shauna’s grumpy face. But, of course, Jackie decides to stand her ground this
time. She wipes away the trails of water on her cheeks with the butts of her palms, then twists
around to wrap a handmade scarf around her neck. And, yeah. Shauna basically goes into fight or
flight mode, in about five seconds flat. She rushes Jackie from behind and wraps her arms around
her shoulders, then cries directly into the back of her neck. “Don’t go, Jackie. Please— please—
please. I’ll do anything. It’s— it’s not safe. I don’t want you to go out there, Jax. I love you too
much… please.”

After tilting her head forward and planting it on top of Jackie’s letterman-clad shoulder, Shauna
leans it slightly to the side. Her forehead presses up against Jackie's neck, which allows her to feel
Jackie’s throat bob after a particularly rough swallow. Shauna can faintly hear Tai and Van
whispering behind her, but she really doesn’t pay them much mind. Preventing Jackie from having
another run-in with hypothermia is her top priority right now, no matter what.

Eventually, Jackie manages to scrounge up the energy to speak again. “I’m sorry, Shauna. But I
can’t just stay here and watch you be in pain, without at least trying to find you some help…”
Jackie slowly murmurs, almost like it physically pains her to say those words out loud. She twists
around in Shauna’s arms and offers her a watery smile, before planting a hand on her cheek and
pressing a quick kiss to her lips. Shauna tries to chase after Jackie’s mouth when she swiftly leans
back, but Jackie successfully evades kissing range by craning her neck all the way back. Her thumb
runs up and down the apple of Shauna’s cheek, while Tai makes her way back to the front door.
She grabs a pair of mittens off a hook and throws them on, then reaches behind her for the
doorknob. Shauna glances over at her and then back at Jackie, even though the tears currently
springing in her eyes blur her vision completely. “I love you too much to do that, Shauna. And—
and I promise I’ll be back before the baby comes. We’ll both be back. Everything is going to be ok.
I can feel it.”

At this point, Shauna is basically dissolving into a puddle of salty tears. She tries to tighten her
hold on Jackie by latching her fingers into the thick fabric of her varsity jacket, but Jackie foils her
plans rather quickly. Without breaking a sweat, Jackie reaches behind her and grabs ahold of
Shauna’s forearms. She carefully unravels Shauna’s arms from around her neck, then loosens her
grip on them and allows them to fall to Shauna’s sides. Shauna frantically rubs the tears out of her
eyes, in order to get a clear look at Jackie’s face.

This might be the last time Shauna ever sees her, so she needs to drill this image into her memory.

Jackie suddenly pulls Shauna in for a hug and Shauna practically collapses against Jackie’s chest,
with her arms hanging loosely at her sides and her face tucked into Jackie’s shoulder. She doesn’t
have the energy to move a muscle right now, so she just allows Jackie to hold her up and breathe
her in. “I love you too. So much,” Shauna whispers, because her vocal cords are basically shot
from all the sobbing and screaming. She peers over Jackie’s shoulder and finds herself staring at
Tai, who shoots her a sympathetic frown and shifts closer to Jackie. Within seconds, Tai is planting
a mitten on Jackie’s back from behind and Jackie is loosening her hold on Shauna’s body. “And I
trust you.”

Before Jackie can respond, Tai is steering her toward the front door and guiding her through it.
Once Jackie disappears into the snowy abyss, Tai swivels around and sucks in a deep breath. “I’m
sorry, Shauna…” Tai mumbles, with a sympathetic nod. Her eyes then flit right over Shauna’s
slouching shoulder, gaze zipping towards Van and her pale grimace. She’s in this wide-legged
stance, with her arms crossed firmly over her chest and her chin tilted upward. It’s clear that she’s
trying to maintain her composure, but her dampened eyelashes and bright red nose kind of give her
away. “And, Van… I’m sorry too.”

With that, Tai wrenches her body around and follows Jackie out into the freezing cold. As soon as
the front door slams shut behind Tai, Van wastes no time in bolting towards the pantry and rushing
up the rickety rungs of the attic ladder. She doesn’t turn around or huff out another sound, let alone
pause to say another word to Lottie or Shauna. And, well.

Speaking of Lottie…

“They’re going to be fine, Shauna. Trust me.”

Shauna squeezes her eyes shut and clenches her fists at her sides, then slowly twists around to face
Lottie. She’s still sitting on the fucking couch, with the exact same look on her face as earlier. Her
lips are pulled back in a thin line and her eyes are a pair of matching stones, which just makes
Shauna’s blood boil. Like, of course, Lottie couldn’t care less about Jackie and Tai heading outside
and risking their fucking lives.

So, yeah. Shauna’s totally not in the mood to deal with Lottie or listen to any of her cryptic
mumbo-jumbo, right now. “Whatever, Lottie…” Shauna grunts out, before storming across the
living room and back into the hallway. She wipes the tears out of her eyes as quickly as they fall,
even while she makes her way to her bedroom on shaky footing.

Shauna didn’t think it was possible, but she somehow detests this baby even fucking more. Not
only is it going to be the death of Shauna, but it’s also apparently going to be the death of Tai and
Jackie, too.
 She wishes that she had just sucked it up and gotten rid of it when she had the fucking chance.

Chapter End Notes

lol. sorry!

coming up next: the birth ™️. will jackie and tai make it back in time? who knows.
lottie is also a massive creeper because why wouldn't she be
 push it
Chapter Summary

It’s like a balloon has been popped within her body and a shit-ton of released helium is
now worming its way through her pelvis. This sudden release of pressure rocks
through Shauna’s stomach, like a tidal wave. Warm water surges down the inside of
her jeans, gluing the damp denim fabric to her thighs and legs. And, although it takes
Shauna’s cloudy mind a minute to comprehend what has just happened, the rest of the
girls are about five steps ahead of her.

Or: Shauna finally gives birth.

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

February 6th, 1997

Although the rest of the week passes by fairly quickly and without any substantial developments
within the cabin, it’s still an emotional rollercoaster for Shauna. Two days ago, another wave of
fresh snowfall decided to crash down from the sky above and wrap the woods in a blanket of icy
white. Shauna had tried to go outside to gauge how cold Jackie and Tai would be out in the snow,
but Natalie had herded her back into the bedroom—like a wounded and blind sheep—before she
could even waddle her way through the living room. And, even on the clearest of days, all of
Shauna’s additional attempts to sneak outside and search around for Jackie have been thwarted by
Natalie. It was barely snowing and somewhat sunny the day after Jackie and Tai first left, but that
didn’t stop Natalie from fireman carrying a screaming and crying Shauna right back into the cabin,
seconds after she crept outside of it.

Since all of her attempts to escape Natalie’s watchful eye and search the forest for Jackie and Tai
have ended up fruitless, Shauna has spent the bulk of her time rotting in her bed and cementing her
uselessness. Like, for the last few days, Shauna has spent almost every waking hour dissolving into
tears at the mere thought of Jackie and Tai shivering in the cold. And, unfortunately for Shauna,
it’s not like her sleepless nights have offered her much refuge from her anxiety-inducing fears.
She’s had plenty of nightmares revolving around Tai and Jackie’s wilderness expedition throughout
the past week, but the one that really freaked Shauna out the most was the one where they got run
down by a pack of wolves. That specific nightmare freaked her out so much that she bolted up in
bed at the ass-crack of dawn and began to hyperventilate like a marathon runner. It crawled under
her sticky and sweat-covered skin, much more than all of the other, equally horrific ones have. So,
yeah. Instead of trying to coerce herself into falling back asleep, Shauna spent that entire night
sobbing into her pillow and choking on all of her guilty feelings.

Crying to herself—until her eyes turn red, crust-covered, and sore—has honestly become a regular
occurrence and part of Shauna’s daily routine, at this point. Shauna’s hormones have obviously
been flaring up and altering her mood throughout her pregnancy, but they haven’t been this bad so
far. She’s been a literal mess ever since Jackie and Tai first left, but it’s not like she’s the only one
who has turned into a salty-eyed hermit. Van rarely vacates the attic nowadays and usually comes
downstairs to quickly grab some water, a cupful of pine mash, or use the outhouse. Shauna tried to
talk to her a few times out of solidarity, but Van consistently shot down her attempts at conversing,
by plastering on a withering smile and rushing back up the attic ladder. And, although Shauna
really wishes that she could speak to the only person that gets what she’s going through right now,
it’s not like she can blame Van for giving her the silent treatment. Tai and Jackie never would have
left the safety of the cabin and wandered off into the winter snow, if it wasn’t for Shauna and her
stupid baby.

If Tai and Jackie die out there, it’s all Shauna’s fault.

To top off this shitty sundae, Shauna’s back has been killing her even more than usual and her
stomach has cramped up every night this week. So, not only has Shauna been miserable mentally,
but she’s also been physically uncomfortable almost twenty-four-seven. Misty keeps reminding her
that it’s normal for her body to ache this much, especially since her due date is rapidly
approaching. But, obviously, that doesn’t really soothe Shauna’s frazzled nerves in any shape or
form. If anything, Misty’s obsession with bringing up the baby’s impending birth—like fucking
clockwork each morning, by the way—has just made Shauna spiral into an even deeper pit of
depression.

The prospect of Tai and Jackie never coming back has consumed Shauna’s thoughts since the day
they left, but the ticking time bomb in her stomach has been haunting her for months. Shauna has
never wanted to meet this fucking baby face-to-face and has been dreading its birth-date, ever
since the day she realized that her period had gone missing. But, obviously, Shauna has gradually
accepted her grim fate and has come to terms with her impending doom. Shauna knows and has
known—from like, the very beginning—that she will probably die during childbirth, but that
doesn’t make it any easier for her to stomach the idea of doing it alone. She wishes that Jackie and
Tai were here, so that she could spend her last few days on Earth with them. Shauna would do
legitimately anything just to kiss Jackie again, touch her again, or hear her laugh one last time. She
would literally sell her soul, if it meant that she could hear Jackie scream at fucking Misty about
God knows what or listen to Tai ramble about how crazy she thinks Lottie is. Like, that’s how
much Shauna wishes that they were here with her, right now.

Even though Shauna obviously misses Tai a lot, she’s still spent the majority of her time yearning
primarily for Jackie. Sometimes Shauna just sits in her bed and stares blankly at the wall across
from her, trying to memorize each and every detail of Jackie’s pretty face. Like, whenever Natalie
comes into her bedroom to give her some food or water, Shauna just waves a weak hand at her and
keeps her eyes glued to some speck on the wall. She’s also spent the last couple of nights cuddled
up with Jackie’s striped crewneck, crying into the thick fabric whenever her pregnancy pains come
and go. That’s actually what Shauna has been doing for the past hour and a half, ironically enough.

After rubbing the tears out of her eyes with balled-up fists, Shauna decides to heave herself out of
bed and attempt to find things to do. She’d do some laundry or sweep the floor in a heartbeat, if it
meant that she could finally distract her mind away from all the awful thoughts she’s been having.
So, before Shauna can talk herself out of it and return to hibernating in her bed, she shuffles her
way into the hallway and towards the cramped living room. She grimaces at the intense twinge
that suddenly needles at the bottom of her spine and radiates into her pelvis, but manages to regain
her composure by biting back a pained whimper and breathing slowly. Natalie, Lottie, and Mari are
all sitting on the couch closest to the fireplace, with their eyes trained on each other and their lips
moving in near-perfect sync. They’re so heavily invested in their animated conversation, that they
all fail to notice Shauna or her erratic huffing. So, instead of taking a page from Lottie’s playbook
and disrupting their chitchat with a theatrical throat clearance, Shauna quietly flops down onto the
empty couch cushion beside Natalie.

In a matter of seconds, the unlikely trio falls utterly silent and all of their eyes slowly swivel over
to Shauna. She hasn’t uttered a single word about her pregnancy pains or the rip-roaring discomfort
she’s been experiencing to anyone in the past week—even to her nosy OBGYN, Misty fucking
Quigley—but all of the Yellowjackets continue to walk on eggshells when they’re around her and
Van, probably because of their horrific war wife situation. So, of course, Shauna has to be the one
to slice through the cloud of silence that has suddenly fogged up the living room. “Hey. What’s up
with you guys?”

Natalie’s moppy blonde hair swishes and swooshes each time she pivots her head to glance
between Mari and Lottie, in a relatively dubious manner. She’s got this nervous smile plastered
onto her mouth— this like, flimsy little thing— which slips off her face, once she realizes that both
Lottie and Mari suddenly lack the bravery to freely speak. Natalie winces at the awkwardness and
eventually unfurls her lips, in order to cover for the biggest loudmouth and the most cryptic person
in the entire fucking cabin. “Uh… not much. We’ve just… been chilling. And talking.”

“About what?” Shauna automatically fires back, narrowed eyes shooting over Natalie’s shoulder to
catch Lottie’s gaze. As soon as Shauna meets her eyes, Lottie immediately glances down at her
own hands and aimlessly picks away at her overgrown cuticles. That motion, combined with the
way her forehead is all scrunched up and her eyebrows are bunched together, makes Lottie look
guilty of something far worse than shoplifting at their local TJ Maxx. Shauna swallows down the
lump in her throat and recalibrates, by crossing her arms over her chest and aiming her next
question straight at Lottie. “What’s with the silent treatment, Lot? Talking shit about Jackie behind
her back again? Hm?”

Weirdly enough, Natalie seems absolutely stupefied by what Shauna is currently suggesting. A
shocked guffaw slips from Nat’s mouth, right as her blue eyes begin to rapidly blink between
Lottie’s shrugging shoulders and Shauna’s stony face. “Um…” Natalie trails off, before lifting up a
finger to wiggle between the two of them. Shauna’s almost positive that she’s never seen Natalie
look this unconfident and awkward in her life, which just confuses her even fucking more. Even
Mari—who has been uncharacteristically quiet throughout this weirdly tense and mysterious
conversation—looks a bit confused by Natalie’s abrupt bout of social ineptitude, “Lottie was just
telling us—”

“I was telling them about the dream I had last night. Jackie and Tai were in it. I didn’t want to tell
you about it, because I figured you’d freak the fuck out…” Lottie stoically states, before tearing her
gaze away from her bloodied cuticle. She glares over Natalie’s shoulder and shoots daggers
directly at Shauna, whose vision is suddenly blurring at the edges a little bit. Shauna finds it kind
of fucking weird that there are now a bunch of bright red blotches floating around within her light
of sight, but she figures that she’s just nervous about whatever hand-grenade Lottie’s about to lob
at her. Nobody does emotional warfare better than Lottie Matthews nowadays, so it makes sense
for Shauna’s anxiety to amplify to an almost astounding degree. Her vision keeps blurring more
and more, which makes it kind of hard for her to focus on Lottie’s moving mouth. “I know you’ve
been kind of reluctant to listen to what I have to say, in the past. But… if you’re interested in
hearing about my dream, I’d love to tell you more. I think you’d find it… very eye-opening.”

Although her arms have randomly begun to turn cold and clammy, Shauna manages to nod her
head. “Sure. Tell me about your dream… Lot,” Shauna murmurs, somewhat absent-mindedly. Her
body’s suddenly super fucking sore again and that ache in her back is much more pronounced than
it was before, but Shauna’s almost positive that another one of those fake contractions won’t be
coming her way for a few more hours. They mostly plague her at night, when she’s laying alone in
her bed and contemplating her entire life existence. “How was it… eye-opening?”

Her tone is somewhat mocking, so Shauna’s not all that surprised when Lottie purses her lips and
fires a sour look at her. But, with the way her head has begun to pound like a snare drum and her
heartbeat has started to ring in her ears, Shauna currently couldn’t care less about offending Lottie.
Ironically enough, that specific stance is further punctuated, mere seconds later.

As soon as Lottie opens her mouth a fraction to speak, Shauna cuts her off with a sharp gasp and a
pained groan. Another fucking cramp has apparently decided to wreak havoc on Shauna’s stomach
and her lower back, which forces her to seek comfort in embarrassingly desperate ways. She keels
over and claws at her own abdomen, then sinks the nails on her other hand into Natalie’s nearby
wrist. The blood rushing through her eardrums makes it nearly impossible for Shauna to decipher
what Lottie and Natalie are saying, so she just focuses all of her attention on breathing through the
pain and ignoring the horrified look on Mari’s face.

Eventually, the cramp subsides and Shauna releases her grip on Natalie’s bony arm. She lets out a
pitiful wince and attempts to conceal the pained grimace on her face, once Shauna starts frantically
apologizing to her. “No worries, dude…” Natalie says, in that easy-going tone of hers. Shauna
glances down at her skinny wrist, which is now covered in an assortment of bright red indents. She
then peers back up at Natalie’s face, even though her brain is starting to feel really fucking foggy
and Nat’s expression looks a lot hazier than it did before. Like, at this point, all Shauna can make
out are her bright blue irises and her bleach-blonde locks. The sharp, defining lines that make
Natalie’s face unique have faded into oblivion. Weird. “But, uh. Are you like… ok? What the fuck
just happened?”

Shauna shakes her head, which currently feels so weightless that it’s almost like it’s hanging by a
string around her neck. She tries to blink the murkiness that has settled over her vision out of her
eyes again, but it’s no fucking use. “Yeah— yeah. I’m fine, it’s whatever. It’s just— just… false
pregnancy pains. They’ve been happening for the past month…” Shauna trails off, with a wispy
voice. Her voice is so uncharacteristically weak, that it sounds almost foreign to her own eardrums.
She honestly kind of feels like she’s speaking from outside of herself or just straight-up
disassociating, with the way her lips are just moving of their own accord. “So… let’s forget about
it. I just— just wanna hear about… the dream.”

Although Shauna can legitimately feel those words rolling over her tongue and slurring into a
jumbled mess, Lottie chooses to oblige and finally starts to reveal the details of her Jackie-oriented
dream. “Ok… so. I saw Tai and Jackie in this like, snow-bunker kind of thing. It was basically just
this huge pit carved into the snow, right beneath this cluster of low-hanging trees. Kinda secluded,
y’know?” Lottie starts, cold and stern eyes trained on Shauna’s rapidly paling face. Shauna slowly
nods at her to continue, even though her skull aches with each elongated bob and the pain behind
her temples tightens like a spring. “They were just… sleeping in there. Shivering, snoring,
huddling together for warmth, all that shit. Until they weren’t anymore.”

Another contraction slices through Shauna’s stomach, but this one stings way worse than all of the
other ones she had earlier. It feels like someone has wrapped their hands around her guts and is
now wringing them together, squeezing at her intestines like they’re wet towels in need of draining.
“What— what do you mean?” Shauna manages to wheeze out, between tightly clenched teeth.
Suddenly, Natalie’s hand is on her thigh and Natalie’s face is a whole lot closer than it was before.
She can feel Natalie’s heated gaze lingering all over her face and burning a trail onto her cold skin,
but she doesn’t have the energy to appease Natalie right now. Shauna’s brain has fizzled to a blank,
short-circuiting in time with each painful cramp that arises in her abdomen. Shauna has tunnel
vision now; Jackie and Tai’s names are the only words swirling around in her fuzzy mind and she
can’t really grasp onto any other, tangible thoughts. “What does ‘they weren’t anymore’ even
fucking mean, Lottie? Are you trying to say that you dreamt that they were dead, you fucking
bitch?”

Lottie sucks in a reedy breath through her nose, then licks at her lower lip and fixes Shauna with an
ice-cold glare. “No, Shauna. They’re not dead. That’s what I’m trying to tell you,” Lottie sternly
states, in a matter-of-fact manner. Shauna’s vision has slowly become foggier. Darker, even. Like
it’s going in and out. Flickering on and off like a shoddy lightbulb. “Jackie and Tai are coming
back… because Laura Lee told Jackie that she needed to. She warned Jackie about this pack of
wolves that managed to sniff them out and told her that another blizzard would be hitting soon.”

Eerily enough, those words are quickly punctuated by the pitter-patter of fresh snow pellets
slamming against the roof and the whistle of an angrier wind. A pool of sweat has found a home in
between Shauna’s knitted eyebrows, which are now shaking faster than Jackie’s body did once
Natalie hauled her in from the cold and set her up in front of the roaring fireplace.

Lottie was right about the blizzard, just like her theory about them finding food after Doomcoming
ended up proving true, with the help of a brain-dead bear. She initially mentioned that Laura Lee
had become a mainstay in her dreams and nightmares only a few days earlier, but Shauna wasn’t
granted the opportunity to peel the layers behind that statement back further. But, now Shauna
knows for certain that Lottie has been having similar nightmares to the ones that have been
plaguing her own, warped brain. Laura Lee creeps into Lottie’s dreams on a fairly routine basis,
just like she slinks her way into Shauna’s hyper-realistic nightmares every other night.

Maybe Tai was wrong about Lottie, this entire fucking time. Maybe Lottie’s creepy omens and
cryptic codes aren’t just crazy talk, after all. Maybe Lottie really can see things before they happen.
Maybe Lottie really can speak to the dead, with medium-like ease.

Lottie’s voice fades back into Shauna’s ringing ears, but it sounds all muffled and distant.
Apparently, Lottie has been speaking this entire fucking time and Shauna’s worthless brain had
effectively blanked it all out. “Laura Lee’s looking out for you, Shauna. She wanted Jackie and Tai
here for the birth. She told me that she knew that you couldn’t do it alone. You’re not strong
enough. Not yet, at least.”

Shauna swallows and blinks, but she’s still unable to clear the layer of hazy mist off of her brain.
The bile shooting up into her throat morphs into a boa constrictor and squeezes around her heart. It
burns so badly, that Shauna can’t help but wince and squeeze her eyes shut. Lottie’s words have
prompted her guts to loop around in anxious knots, which just fills her sore stomach with that
sinking feeling of inescapable dread.

Yet another contraction suddenly slams into Shauna, forcing her to grit her teeth against the
burning sensation that is now re-flaring in her abdomen. Natalie’s hand tightens around Shauna’s
thigh, right as her nose and lips come swimming into Shauna’s shallow field of vision. She’s
basically all up in Shauna’s personal space now, but Shauna’s so goddamn dizzy that she really
couldn’t give a fuck about Natalie’s proximity.

“Do you want me to get Misty?” Natalie asks, right as another contraction stabs at Shauna’s lower
abdomen like a sharpened knife might. She waves a sluggish hand directly into Natalie’s face, but
that weak excuse for a response seems to freak Natalie out even fucking more. “Dude. You’re
like… super pale, all of a sudden. You look like a fucking ghost. Just— just let her look at you, at
least.”

“No,” Shauna manages to choke out, even though her throat feels drier than a strip of sandpaper and
her lungs currently feel like they’re being squeezed by an iron fist. One of Shauna’s hands flies
blindly behind her, just so that she can squeeze her fingers around the back of the couch for some
support. Her other hand darts downward and nudges Natalie’s palm away from her thigh, right as
she begins to pull herself off of the couch. “Just— just help me get back to the bedroom. I’m fine.
It’s just— it’s just—”
Shauna cuts herself off with a shocked gasp and her shaky legs give out from beneath her weight,
sending her plummeting back onto the couch.

It’s like a balloon has been popped within her body and a shit-ton of released helium is now
worming its way through her pelvis. This sudden release of pressure rocks through Shauna’s
stomach, like a tidal wave. Warm water surges down the inside of her jeans, gluing the damp
denim fabric to her thighs and legs. And, although it takes Shauna’s cloudy mind a minute to
comprehend what has just happened, the rest of the girls are about five steps ahead of her.

“Oh… fuck. Lottie, what should we— what should we do?”

Mari.

“Shit. Don’t look at me like that! Get Misty, or Akilah, or someone that knows what they’re doing!
I’m an only child, for fuck’s sake!”

Lottie.

A hand combs through Shauna’s sweat-drenched hair, tucking stray strands behind her bright red
ears.

“I’ve got her, alright? But can one of you do something? Jesus fucking Christ. Get up and get
help!”

Natalie.

The next contraction that rumbles through Shauna’s body stings so fucking bad, that she just wants
to keel over and hurl. There’s this insane amount of pressure pushing down on her pelvis and her
lower back, which sends a wave of bile up her throat. Somehow, Shauna musters up the energy to
choke it down and maintain some of her dignity, but that sour taste in her mouth just makes her
eyes well up with tears. Suddenly, Lottie is bolting off of the couch and Natalie’s lips are moving
at a lightning-quick pace. Every word that pours out of Natalie’s mouth comes out inaudible,
thanks to the ringing noise that is currently pricking at the inside of Shauna’s ear canals.

Shauna’s heavy head and limp neck pitch forward, which allows her to peer down at her soaking
wet jeans and the puddle that has formulated on the living room floor. Her eyelids begin to shudder
of their own accord, but Shauna desperately fights to keep them open. And, before they can
properly seal shut, Shauna catches a glimpse of poofy blonde hair rushing in her direction.

That faint image abruptly fades away and is instantly replaced with a lifeless, black abyss.

When Shauna first attempts to tear open her weary eyes, not much happens. No matter how hard
she tries, Shauna’s sluggish body refuses to sync up with her high-powered brain. It’s almost like
her muscles and her bones are these foreign things that she has no control over, anymore. Her entire
body now belongs to this fucking baby, even though she’s the one that held ownership over it for
nearly nineteen straight years. And, although Shauna’s kind of gotten used to the feeling of being
utterly powerless throughout the past few months, panic still courses through her veins each time
she fruitlessly fights to wrench her heavy eyelids apart. Soon enough, a dull ache joins that wave of
panic and forces her stomach to clench up like a rabbit caught in a barbed snare.

Suddenly, there is a pair of cold palms stroking at Shauna’s clammy cheeks and brushing a
hodgepodge of damp hair strands away from her forehead. Shauna’s instinct is to moan in pain and
blindly swat that hand away, but then she realizes how familiar and soft it feels against her
overheated skin.
“Jax?” Shauna mutters under her breath, still painfully disoriented by whatever the fuck just
happened. Those mystery fingers continue to trace circles on the apples of Shauna’s cheeks, right
as a slew of indecipherable whispers glide into her ears. The voice conjuring those muted
reassurances up is super raspy and sounds an awful lot like Jackie’s, which spurs Shauna to finally
gather up the strength to wrench open her sleep-laden eyes.

As soon as Shauna’s blurry vision readjusts enough to grant her a clear view of Jackie’s frowning
face, her brain also slowly begins to reboot. Slowly but surely, Shauna is able to fill in all the
missing gaps in this nightmarish timeline of events. She recalls listening to Lottie describe her
stomach-churning dream and dealing with a slew of rapidly worsening contractions. Shauna also
vividly remembers the feeling of her water breaking, as well as a blur of poodle-like hair speeding
to her side. And, of course, all those small memories help Shauna determine that she ended up
passing out in the fucking living room.

There are still a plethora of unanswered questions swimming around in Shauna’s frazzled mind,
though. Her heart hammers away in her chest and her hands instinctively fly down towards the
swollen curve of her stomach, even as she attempts to scramble into a sitting position. The dull,
aching pain brought on by the contractions hasn’t subsided, which means that the baby is still
floating around in her stomach. She didn’t magically give birth while blacked out on Coach Scott’s
former bed, clearly.

And, although Shauna is able to answer that question by herself, her deductive reasoning skills are
unable to come up with a clear explanation for Jackie’s reappearance. So, yeah. Shauna
immediately concludes that she’s still trapped in some kind of black-out-induced nightmare and
that this version of Jackie is just a figment of her imagination. The real Jackie is still hiking around
outside, where the snow has been falling in torrents and without any signs of stopping. Jackie is
either bogged down in the hidden bunker from Lottie’s dream—snuggling with Tai for warmth and
bitching about the cold—or she’s already fucking dead. She either fell victim to the treacherous
conditions outside or ended up getting mauled by the pack of prowling wolves that have been
keeping Shauna up each night with their high-pitched howls. There’s no way Jackie is still alive,
which means that she can’t actually be sitting on the edge of the bed. Jackie isn’t really here,
stroking Shauna’s face or whispering reassurances into her ear. Jackie’s dead and Shauna’s going
to be joining her, real fucking soon. This is all just some elaborate dream that Shauna’s mind has
carefully crafted, in order to help her stomach that concept a little easier and force her to come to
terms with the consequences of—

“Shauna. Are you feeling any better?”

Real or not, hearing Jackie’s voice drives Shauna’s reasonably unstable composure to finally
crumble into a pile of smithereens. Her entire body shakes as a series of distressed sobs rocks
through her, but that ordeal doesn’t last for very long. In a matter of seconds, Jackie is tucking her
arms around Shauna’s sore back and cradling the back of her pounding skull. She guides Shauna’s
face into the crook of her neck and Shauna finally breathes in, picking up whiffs of sweat, snow,
and hints of Jackie’s vanilla-scented perfume. That smell has lingered on Jackie’s clothes for literal
years at this point, due in part to her obsession with squirting liberal amounts of it onto each and
every sweater or shirt she’s ever tossed on.

And, well. It’s not like Shauna’s nose could recreate a perfect copy of that scent… right?

“You’re real. You’re here. It’s– I’m not just… dreaming,” Shauna yelps out, right against Jackie’s
cold skin. For the first time since Jackie and Tai left, Shauna has been handed a fleeting moment of
much-needed serenity. Like, Shauna is so overwhelmed by her emotions that her head spins like a
globe and the pain from her contractions fades off into the distance. Now that she has solidified
that she hasn’t gone completely insane, Shauna wastes no time in pulling away from Jackie’s neck
and launching into a frantic ramble. “It’s snowing outside again, Jackie. Like, this blizzard is way
worse than all the other ones. So… how did you— how did you get back? And… why did you
choose to come back today? Or, uh, did you start hiking back when it was less shitty out? Is Tai
here? Is she ok, too? What happened out—”

Jackie huffs a reedy chuckle out of her nostrils, then plants a series of kisses all over Shauna’s face.
Her lips make contact with Shauna’s mouth, Shauna’s nose, Shauna’s forehead, and both of
Shauna’s cheeks… before they twist into a faint and forced grin. “Tai’s fine, baby. She’s just
warming up near the fireplace and talking with Van,” Jackie murmurs, eyes glistening with tears.
One of her hands moves down to cup Shauna’s jaw, while the other slides upwards to comb
through Shauna’s mop of dark, messy waves. “You’re right, though. It’s fucking awful out there, so
it’s probably a good thing that I convinced Tai to come back when I did. We started our walk back
like, two days ago? After… um. This really shitty dream I had…”

That indescribable ripple of terror is suddenly bubbling up inside Shauna’s stomach, all over again.
Jackie’s staring back at her with her patented doe-like eyes, but even her cutesy expression can’t
suppress Shauna’s ever-increasing anxiety. She’s sucking in gasps of air so quickly, that her lungs
currently feel like they’re being lit on fire. But, somehow, Shauna manages to swallow down the
bile rising in her throat and ignore the searing ache in the base of her pelvis, long enough to
pathetically squeak. “What— what the hell are you talking about, Jackie?”

Jackie squeezes her eyes shut and puckers her lips together, essentially signaling to Shauna that it
physically pains her to actually explain this shit in extensive detail. But, unfortunately for Jackie,
Shauna’s not backing down from this. She legitimately can’t let this shit go, mainly because Lottie
just prophesized her goddamn return and mentioned a Laura Lee-centric dream. So, instead of just
coercing Jackie to cuddle up with her and hold her hand through her contractions, Shauna compels
her to speak with a well-timed eyebrow raise.

“Look. Don’t make fun of me, ok? Tai already did that, the entire way back here. Even though my
gut feeling about us needing to come back… ended up being right on the goddamn money,” Jackie
grumbles, with a half-hearted huff. She glances down at Shauna’s bulging stomach and places a
hand on it, then peers back up at her face. “Basically, I couldn’t sleep at all a few nights ago. I was
tossing and turning for like, hours. And, when I eventually knocked out, the dream I had was
super… vivid. Everything about it felt real…”

“Ok? But— but what was the dream about?” Shauna inquires, right as another contraction slashes
through her insides. The window of time between each one is rapidly closing and they’re slowly
growing more painful, but Shauna is totally not in the mood to deal with Nurse Misty and her
grubby little paws at the moment. So, once Jackie’s brows knit together and her hazel eyes flash
with concern, Shauna attempts to appease her with a bared-teeth smile. It looks more like a mixture
between a grimace and a wince, but, surprisingly enough, Jackie doesn’t freak the fuck out. Instead
of scrambling off of the bed and bolting into the hallway to find Misty, Jackie stays put on the
mattress. The hand she has planted on Shauna’s baby bump starts to swirl around in concentric
circles, while the palm she has buried in Shauna’s hair slides down to her right shoulder blade.
Slowly but surely, Jackie’s nimble fingers begin to massage Shauna’s tense muscles, working out
the kinks as she focuses on breathing through the pain. Once it subsides, Shauna clears her throat
and shakes some of the sweat-drenched hair off of her shoulders. “Please. Please tell me what your
dream was about. I’m fine now, Jax. They’re just gonna… keep coming in hot. Or, uh, that’s what
Misty and Akilah keep saying.”

Jackie bobs her head, tight and choppy. “Yeah, yeah. Ok. But you need to tell me if they start
getting really bad. That way, I can go get Misty.”
Another contraction decides to tear through Shauna’s body, as soon as those words slip from
Jackie’s lips. Her abdomen seizes up and tightens in a way that forces Shauna to grunt her
agreement, rather than voicing it. Jackie seems to deduce what is going on fairly fucking quickly,
because the hand she has on Shauna’s shoulder slips down to her lower back and begins to caress
that specific area. Once Jackie’s knuckles begin to slowly knead the kinks out of her spine, Shauna
sighs in relief and waits for that stabby ache to wash away. When it finally does, Shauna’s left so
breathless that everything she says comes out like a wheeze. “It— it passed. So, tell me. About
your dream. About why you knew to come back. It’s important to me, Jax. Please.”

After huffing out a put-upon sigh, Jackie slowly begins to unravel the mystery that’s been haunting
Shauna since she woke up. “Ok. I know this is gonna sound crazy, but, like I said, the whole thing
felt real. I could smell things, I could feel things that I touched, I could— I could—” Jackie cuts
herself off with a scoff, then schools herself with a sharp headshake. She sucks in a deep breath,
recalibrating in a way that alerts Shauna to how embarrassed she is to be sharing the details of her
dream. So, in order to offer Jackie some comfort and spur her on, Shauna places her hand over the
one that Jackie has resting on her baby bump. She interlaces their fingers together and squeezes
gently, which has Jackie speaking again, almost instantaneously. “I could talk… to Laura Lee. And
— and she kept warning me about a shit-ton of things. So, yeah. When I woke up after it, I just— I
just had this really awful feeling in my stomach. I told Tai and she thought I was fucking nuts, but I
somehow convinced her to come back.” Shauna nibbles anxiously on her lip and tries to conceal
the fear rising into her eyes, while Jackie pointedly glances between her baby bump and her face.
“It’s a good thing I had that shitty nightmare and followed my gut though, huh? We would’ve been
stuck in a blizzard and we would’ve missed the birth if I just kept fucking quiet. Tai’s still kinda
pissed that I ended up actually being right, but… she can suck on it.”

Shauna forces out a nervous chuckle, but it sounds super weak and fake, even to her own ears.
Unsurprisingly, Jackie doesn’t seem to fall for it in any shape or form, either. She studies Shauna’s
face closely, clearly searching for clues to piece together some kind of half-hearted explanation for
Shauna’s sudden spell of unease. Shauna feels kind of guilty about leaving Jackie in the dark right
now, but her throat is tightening and her chest is heaving like it always does, whenever her anxiety
surges up. Like, Shauna wants to tell Jackie about her own dreams more than anything, but she’s
physically unable to.

Seconds after Shauna finally forces her mouth open, that hot, stabbing pain—which had remained
rather dormant at the base of her pelvis for the past ten minutes or so—decides to writhe up like a
snake, radiating into her lower abdomen and her back. She groans in agony and tightens her hold
on Jackie’s hand, to an almost bone-crushing degree. Shauna vaguely registers the sound of Jackie
yelping, even as waves upon waves of searing heat needle at the insides of her stomach. Her other
hand burrows into the fabric of the blanket surrounding her body almost instinctively, fingers
gripping around the material so tightly that her knuckles twist into this ghostly shade of white.

Eventually, once those stabbing pains begin to simmer down and taper off, Shauna’s coiled-up
body gradually begins to un-tighten. She relaxes her grasp on Jackie’s hand, which drives Jackie to
tip her head backward and gasp out a ragged sigh of ecstasy. The fingers on Shauna’s other hand
slowly unfurl themselves from the scratchy hem of her flannel blanket, then dart up to pinch
Jackie’s chin.

Shauna tips Jackie’s head back down and meets her exhausted gaze, with a bashful smile on her
face. “Sorry…” Shauna murmurs, flicking her thumb against Jackie’s taut wrist bone. She then
tangles her fingers back between Jackie’s, which miraculously haven’t moved since that
contraction tore through Shauna and left Jackie behind as collateral damage. “I didn’t mean to hurt
your hand. That one just sucked way more than I thought it would.”
“It’s alright, babe. You’d be doing me a favor by breaking it, anyways…” Jackie quips, before
leaning in and pressing a kiss to Shauna’s forehead. The tension slowly evaporates from Shauna’s
body and she lies back, melting into the mattress and relaxing her sore spine into the pile of pillows
nestled behind her. Jackie slowly shuffles forward and lays down beside Shauna, nestling into her
side. She plays around with Shauna’s hand, but her eyes remain glued to Shauna’s swollen
stomach. “I mean… I wouldn’t have to do chores for a few months if you broke it. And that sounds
pretty fucking great to me.”

That sharp sting that Shauna has grown so accustomed to throughout the last couple of hours
shoots through her stomach again, which forces her to gag on the glob of incredulous laughter that
is sticking to the tip of her tongue. Jackie’s face falls flat almost instantly, while Shauna’s
wrenches and warps in pure misery. Tears gush to the surface of Shauna’s eyes and cloud her vision
at a rapid rate, which makes it nearly impossible for her to track Jackie’s movements. Even after
she squeezes her eyes fully shut, Shauna manages to vaguely register the feeling of Jackie letting
go of her hand and then notices the mattress shift a bit beneath her. And, even though a harmony
composed entirely of her own wails and whines is currently looping through her brain like a broken
record, Shauna’s ears instinctively identify the tell-tale sound of the bedroom door creaking open.

As soon as the searing hot, needle-like pains from that contraction simmer down into smoldering
embers, Shauna bends over to put less pressure on the base of her spine and blinks her watery eyes
back open. Shauna’s gaze instantly lands on a bug-eyed Misty fucking Quigley, who is currently
lunging towards her with one finger extended and a massive, Cheshire Cat-like smile on her face.
A grimacing Jackie is standing directly behind Misty, with her bony arms crossed over her chest
and a wide range of tear stains trailing down her face. Shauna feels a lump forming in her throat,
expanding in her dried-out esophagus like a rolling clump of snow might turn into a massive
snowman.

When Misty’s finger gets within an inch of her sore stomach, Shauna scrounges up the energy to
sit up straight and slap it away. Misty pulls back with an agitated look on her face, then pushes her
eyeglasses further up the bridge of her nose. “Shauna. Jackie says the contractions are getting
worse and a lot less spread out.” Shauna immediately peers over at Jackie with a sour look on her
face, but is answered with a sheepish shrug and a silently mouthed apology. Unsurprisingly, Misty
takes advantage of Shauna’s stupor and starts to peel her flannel blanket off of her sweaty body.
“We need to see how dilated you are!” Misty basically bounces with excitement and moves her
hands towards the waistband of Shauna’s sweatpants, which sounds an alarm in her brain in about
two seconds flat.

Shauna catches Misty’s wrists and grasps them so tightly, that she’s almost positive her nail marks
will be embedded in Misty’s pale skin for weeks. “No, nope. You are not touching me, Misty! Are
you seriously this nuts?” Shauna asks, while Misty somehow wrestles her way out of her firm grip.
She pulls back and puffs out an indignant scoff, then swivels around to face Jackie. Shauna glances
behind Misty, meeting Jackie’s gaze and finding a guilt-ridden, doe-eyed look on her face. It’s
pretty fucking telling, so Shauna already kind of knows the answer to her question, even before she
bothers asking it. “Jax. Did you tell her to come in here?”

“Uh… yeah…” Jackie blurts out, in an incredibly graceless and timid manner. She shoots Shauna a
painfully awkward smile, then waves a reluctant hand over at Misty. “I kinda figured you wouldn’t
want Misty’s help, but she’s like, the medical expert around here.”

Not only does Misty bob her head excitedly at that statement, but her eyes basically bulge out of
their sockets and her smile stretches so far that Shauna’s almost positive her cheeks might rip open.
Misty is clearly so fucking thrilled to be getting some attention, that she’s practically living in la-la
land and completely overlooking all the dangers this baby’s birth presents. And, obviously, that just
pisses Shauna off even more.

“She’s not an expert at all! She took two babysitting classes, Jackie!” Shauna screeches, like a
mixture between a banshee and a wild fucking animal. Jackie visibly flinches at the volume and
pitch of her voice, while Misty slides her ears over her palms and shoots Shauna a side-eyed death
glare. Shauna groans and pounds one of her fists against the mattress, in abhorrent frustration. “She
doesn’t know how to deliver a baby. Or— or stitch me up if shit goes wrong. She knows how to
change a diaper and give a toddler CPR. I’m pretty sure all the shit she knows will only come in
handy if I manage to push this thing out of me without dropping dead!”

Shauna’s anger melts into a puddle of tears almost instantaneously, which apparently pushes Jackie
to rush over to her side. She grabs one of Shauna’s hands and squeezes it tightly, while peering
down at her snot-drenched nose and red-rimmed eyes. “Baby, you’re going to be ok. I know you’re
scared—I’m like, scared shitless, too—but I also know that you’re strong enough to do this.” Jackie
free hand darts upward, cupping Shauna’s cheek and brushing the salty tear droplets off of it. “I
just want what’s best for you, Shauna. Like, I know you don’t wanna hear this right now… but I
really think Misty can help you,” Jackie murmurs, before firing a pointed, side-eyed glance at
Misty. She claps her hands together and smiles brightly, while Shauna shakes her head and bites
down a frustrated sob. And, of course, Shauna’s drooping lips and wimpy frown drive Jackie to
offer up more reasons for her sudden obsession with Nurse Quigley. “Look. The only drug we have
left is Midol, plus nobody fucking knows how to deliver a baby with their bare hands. I get that
Misty doesn't know everything, but she understands how dilation works. If she takes a quick look,
maybe we can gauge how much longer until the baby—”

“I don’t want her fingers anywhere near me, Jackie! I don’t want her looking at me, alright?”
Shauna all but squeaks out, embarrassment peaking and face reddening with each passing word.
Jackie’s eyes soften into melted butter, while Misty rolls her eyes and blows a piece of frizzy hair
out of her own face. “I already feel like shit. And— and I don’t want to spend one of my last
moments on Earth getting medically fingered by Coach Scott’s murderer!”

Although Misty’s eyes light up in pure offense and her lips part a fraction, she is unable to get a
singular word in. Jackie blindly tosses a hand behind her and ends up placing it right in front of
Misty’s mouth, which spurs Misty to zip it and spin around to stare at the fucking door. She looks
like a kicked puppy—which Shauna finds pretty fucking funny—but Jackie takes the spotlight
away from her cringe-inducing theatrics, fairly quickly. “Ok— ok. I— Misty doesn’t have to do it,
but someone needs to check. It’s important, babe…” Jackie murmurs, voice faltering in a way that
it never has before. Jackie’s decision not to reply to her impending death comment somehow makes
Shauna feel even more like a raging ball of anxiety, but she somehow manages to curtly bob her
head in agreement and blink the water out of her eyes. Unsurprisingly, Jackie takes that as a sign to
explain her line of reasoning. “It’s the only thing we can do, to make this go a bit more smoothly.
So… um. How about I check, then tell Misty what’s going on.”

At this point, Shauna’s stomach has curdled up so much with embarrassment that she’s almost
positive that all of her organs have soured and shut down. But, unfortunately for Shauna’s self-
esteem, Jackie’s way of thinking is inherently right. Someone in this cabin needs to check how
close this baby is to popping out of her, so it might as well be the person Shauna’s spent her entire
life with and the only person Shauna’s ever truly loved. And, to be fucking honest, having Jackie
touch her in this context is a lot less embarrassing and disgusting than letting Misty’s grubby hands
anywhere near her on a normal day.

So, with a reluctant nod of assent and a pained grimace on her face, Shauna begins to roll her
sweatpants down her legs. As soon as the fabric bunches around Shauna’s ankles, Jackie’s lips
twist into a sympathetic smile and her cheeks light up with this bright pink blush. Misty shuffles
forward and moves closer to Jackie’s side, hovering around her so tightly that Shauna can
legitimately make out the sound of Misty breathing into the side of Jackie’s tanned neck. Shauna
squeezes her eyes shut and clenches her hands into fists, right as she feels her underwear shift to the
side.

Suddenly, Shauna feels an awful lot like those frogs they used to dissect in her AP Biology class.
She’s never been this embarrassed in her entire life, which really is saying something. So, Shauna
steels up and zones out, fighting the urge to scream as surges of humiliation coil her stomach up in
tight knots. That pit in her stomach is growing at an exponential rate now, which somehow masks
the destruction that the contractions have generated.

And, yeah. Now that she feels a little more like an animal than a human, Shauna kind of wishes
that this stupid baby would just put her out of her misery and free her from all this degrading
bullshit.

Over the next few hours, things get exponentially worse. Shauna is not that surprised by this
development, but that doesn’t make any of the pain she’s currently feeling a little bit more
tolerable. After a bright-red Jackie finished up her careful examination and announced the results
to Misty, that frizzy-haired menace cheerily announced that Shauna still had a long way to go. So,
for the past few hours, Shauna has been alternating between waddling around the cabin with
Jackie’s help and keeling over in pain on her mattress. Tai and Van have checked in on her a few
times, but their conversations have been extremely brief. Slowly but surely, Shauna’s contractions
have grown stronger and have begun to bring on waves of fiercer pain. Consequently, Shauna
hasn’t been able to speak all that much, mostly because her extensive vocabulary has been reduced
to literal screams and wails.

Right now, Shauna is in the living room, pacing back and forth, in an effort to offer her aching
back just a little shred of alleviation. Jackie is holding her hand and guiding her, while the rest of
the Yellowjackets look on from their respective spots around the fireplace. All is fairly well, until
the pressure building against her spine begins to feel like a literal battering ram. Sweat beads along
her hairline, while her chest heaves from her inconsistent breathing patterns and her lips pucker
from the wave of nausea currently coursing up her esophagus. Shauna clams up and all her limbs
steel over, which forces her to pull Jackie to an abrupt stop with her. She swiftly deduces that she
must look as awful as she feels, because Jackie gives her one quick look over—eyes roaming up
and down the length of Shauna’s body—before wordlessly guiding her towards the door of their
bedroom.

Unfortunately for Jackie, Shauna’s all-encompassing wave of nausea has other, more sinister
ideas. Before the two of them can even make it down the hallway, Shauna’s stomach wrenches
from yet another, brutal contraction. This one stings so fucking bad, that Shauna loses complete
control of herself, for just a second too long. A sour taste begins to fill her mouth, which spurs her
to swat Jackie’s hands away from her hips and rush over to the pantry. Jackie trails after Shauna
and remains hot on her heels, even as she roots around the pantry for an empty can to hurl in. Once
Shauna finds one, she immediately yanks it off a plywood shelf and tilts her head down toward its
rust-covered lid. In a matter of seconds, Shauna is spewing out greenish chunks of pine mash and
straight-up stomach bile. Shauna can literally sense Jackie’s nose twitching at both the smell and
the sight of all her throw-up, but she still tugs a handful of Shauna’s sweaty hair out of her face and
fists it into a makeshift ponytail.

After spending about three whole minutes of her last day on Earth hunched over and spewing up
chunks, Shauna’s nausea slowly starts to dissipate. Her throat burns and her stomach hurts from
constantly clenching it, but it's the soreness that settles in her bones that makes it nearly impossible
for her to stand up straight. Throwing up really took all the energy out of her, which Shauna knows
is truly sad and pathetic. But, thankfully, none of the Yellowjackets decide to kick Shauna when
she’s already down. Before Shauna can get even a word of apology in or emphasize how
embarrassed she is, Jackie is steering her back into the living room and over toward their respective
bedroom. The rest of the girls watch them in stunned silence, faces marred with traces of both
horror and confusion. Shauna is unable to fill in the blanks for any of the other girls, because
Jackie swiftly guides her into their bedroom and slams the door shut behind them. Her brain is
physically unable to formulate a singular, tangible thought and her esophagus currently feels like it
was used as a piece of firewood, so it’s not like Shauna could speak, even if she wanted to.

So, yeah, Shauna obviously doesn’t put up much of a fight when Jackie flops down onto the edge
of the mattress and starts to tuck her back into bed. She lets Jackie fluff her pillows out for her by
shaking them a bit, then allows Jackie to guide her into leaning her aching back against them.
Jackie then places a bowl that she must’ve grabbed from the kitchen directly into Shauna’s lap,
with an anxiety-raising grimace on her face and hints of shell shock in her eyes. Shauna knows that
she wouldn’t be able to get through this shit without Jackie, but all her poorly-concealed sniffles
and flustered reassurances have gradually made Shauna even more nervous.

Jackie’s panic is now practically scribbled across her face, as her tanned skin has warped into this
ghastly shade of white and her lips are quivering like a feather in the wind. “I’ll be right back. Just
— just puke in this if you need to, yeah?” Jackie murmurs, words tripping over each other from
how frantically her mouth is moving. The idea of being alone for just five fucking seconds makes
Shauna’s stomach hurt even more than it has all day, which is why she can’t help but shake her
head and sob a little in the back of her throat. Jackie massages one of her shoulder blades and
sloppily kisses her cheek, then pulls back to look Shauna over. There are tears pooling in her own
eyes now, but Shauna isn’t granted the opportunity to study them for very long. Another
contraction hits, bringing with it an even sharper and more intense ache that drives an insane
amount of pressure into her pelvis. Jackie’s lips twist into a frown, while a single tear slips from her
eyelid and trails down her cheek. “We checked you an hour ago, but it seems like the baby made a
lot of progress. So… I’m gonna go get Misty, real quick.”

It takes all of Shauna’s willpower not to break down into a fit of sobs and screams, just to guilt-trip
Jackie into staying with her. Shauna doesn’t want to deal with Misty’s crude remarks and she sure
as hell doesn’t want Jackie to leave her side for even a second, but Shauna also knows that there’s
no use arguing with Jackie when she’s like this. Jackie has been so gung-ho about taking care of
her, that Shauna is fairly certain that Jackie hasn’t rested her eyes or had a sip of water since she
initially came back from her trek.

So, of course, Shauna decides to expend some of her rapidly waning energy on alerting Jackie to
this fact. “Jax. Please just— just sit down. I’m fine,” Shauna weakly states, voice cracking and
dissolving into a pitiful squeak once another superheated contraction decides to slam into her. She
bends over a bit and rubs at her stomach, but those blunt pangs continue to stab at her like little
shards of broken glass. The pain has intensified so much that Shauna’s entire body is now shaking
and everything below her waist is burning hotter than a freshly lit blaze. The pressure against her
pelvis keeps mounting higher and higher, but Shauna’s way too scared and tired to bear down and
free herself from it. Eventually, Shauna manages to voice this to Jackie, by employing a vocal
volume that sounds a lot more like a breath than a whisper. “I don’t need Misty. It’s just another
contraction. Just— relax. Stay with me. Tell me more about your trip, or about your dream.
Please.”

Jackie vigorously shakes her head, tears leaking from her eyes and drifting further down her cheeks
with each abrupt movement. “No. You— you’re— it’s getting worse. I have to get Misty, sweetie.”
Jackie slips off the bed and rises to her feet, but Shauna somehow gathers up the energy to lunge
for her wrist and tug her back down onto the hole-infested mattress.

For what feels like the one millionth time today, a contraction ripples through Shauna’s stomach
and renders her unable to speak her mind. This one feels so much like a brutal gut punch, that
Shauna clenches her teeth and wails with an open, tense jaw. Her nails dig far enough into the skin
on Jackie’s wrist to draw blood, but squeezing her arm helps Shauna ride through the waves of pain
that keep tearing through her. Shauna feels like she’s being ripped apart at the seams, but she
would rather be plagued by these contractions for the rest of her life than deal with pushing a
human fucking being out of her body. But, unfortunately for Shauna, Jackie doesn’t share that
philosophy. As soon as the lancing sensation abates, the hand Shauna has looped around Jackie’s
wrist slackens from tiredness. Another wave of nausea churns in Shauna’s stomach, creating a
massive tidal wave in her insides that drives her to close her eyes and pucker her lips up.

All the energy has been sucked out of Shauna, so she lets Jackie clamber off the mattress and tower
over her without putting up much of a fight. She whines in the back of her throat a little, but the
sound is overpowered by Jackie’s high-pitched sniffles. “I love you, ok? I really, really do. I always
have, since like… elementary school. And— and I promise you I always will…” Jackie murmurs,
with a voice so throaty and raw that it honestly sounds like she’s been the one screaming on and off
for hours. Shauna’s heart aches at the words, but she can’t bring herself to tear open her eyes. She
knows she’ll find a teary-eyed, panicked-looking Jackie standing before her. And, now that she
knows she’s nearing the end, Shauna really can’t afford to let her sore heart crack into even more
little pieces. Jackie clears her scratchy throat, snapping Shauna from her own, morbid thoughts.
“You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. I’m glad we figured it out, eventually. I wouldn’t have done
anything differently, even though the road to get to where we are was like, super fucking bumpy.”

Even in dire situations, Jackie can still dazzle Shauna with her innate charisma and irresistible
charm. Shauna instantly chokes on a mucus-filled giggle and cracks open an eye, in spite of herself.
She finds Jackie standing in front of her, with a bright-red, mucus-filled nose and puffy, tear-filled
eyes. After swallowing down the bitter taste of bile that keeps shooting up her throat, Shauna
musters up the courage to speak. “I love you, too. So much,” Shauna states, imbuing as much
passion into her words as she can conjure up. Even though she currently feels like she’s been
pancaked by a freight train, her feeble voice still seems to carry a whole lot of weight. Jackie leans
down and cups her cheek, planting a kiss near her hairline. She runs her fingers all across the
clammy and gaunt skin lining Shauna’s face, even as Shauna continues to croak out hoarse and
heartbroken whispers. “But, please stop freaking out. You’re really scaring me right now, Jax. This
feels like a goodbye. And— and I don’t wanna think about that. Like, at all.”

Jackie huffs out a shaky sigh and swiftly kisses Shauna on the lips, before pulling all the way back.
Although Shauna instinctively chases after her mouth, she quickly realizes that she would have to
sit up straighter to tangle their tongues back together and ultimately chooses to give up on her
pursuits. While Jackie runs a hand under her nose to wipe away the mixture of salt and snot
dangling there, Shauna slowly leans back against her pillow and rubs at her sore hips. Those
sizzling-hot pangs are now rattling through all of her hollowed-out bones, but the painful pressure
plowing down onto her pelvis and her hips is virtually unbearable.

She can feel her face contort into a grimace, right as Jackie begins to frantically pace around the
room. “I’m sorry for freaking the fuck out, but I honestly think I’m underreacting… all things
considered!” Jackie announces, before thrusting a palm over her chest. She slows down a bit and
clutches onto her heart, completely unironically. “For fuck’s sake, Shauna. I woke up crying and
shaking after just— just dreaming about you giving birth. So, yeah. Watching you actually go
through it… fuck. I swear I might actually have a heart attack.” Jackie freezes mid-step, then
glances between Shauna and the door. Her gloomy face lights up, almost like she’s just had an
epiphany. “I know you don’t trust Misty, so… maybe I can get Akilah to help, too. It’s probably
safer to have more people in here, anyways. Y’know… just in case.”

Shauna gulps down the boulder nudging at the walls of her throat, because there are so many
different dangers that Jackie could be alluding to. She knows Jackie’s probably right and she
honestly would prefer having anyone else’s hands inside of her, instead of Misty fucking Quigley’s
murderous ones. So, Shauna wipes a stray tear off her face and whimpers at the pain that radiates
down to her pelvis, before giving Jackie a jagged nod of agreement.

“I’d— I’d rather have Akilah help me. But— but Jackie…” Shauna trails off, while Jackie begins
to bolt toward the bedroom door. As soon as her hand lands on the rusty knob and starts to turn it,
Shauna all but loses it. All the dread she’s been feeling for months crashes over her, sending her
into a crying fit that leaves her choking out sobs and heaving for air. “Please don’t— please don’t
leave me.”

Jackie gnaws at her chapped lip, rough enough to draw trickles of coppery blood. She glances
between Shauna and her own chest, then begins to wordlessly fiddle with the heart-shaped pendant
laying on the hollow of her throat. In the blink of an eye, Jackie is unclasping the little gold chain
from around her neck and striding back towards Shauna’s bedside. “Here. Now I’m always with
you, no matter what. This will keep you safe, while I go run and grab Misty,” Jackie whispers,
while Shauna wordlessly sits up enough to allow Jackie to loop the necklace around her neck.

Before Shauna can even try to gasp out another semi-cry, Jackie is already storming out of the
bedroom with single-minded purpose. Shauna’s chest stings like her heart has been directly stung
by a big bumblebee, while the force of her whines and wails start to shake her body like she’s a
ragdoll.

Now that she’s alone with her thoughts, Shauna’s anxiety starts to burn a hole in her already aching
abdomen.

She can’t do this.

She’s not strong enough to give birth to a baby she never wanted, without any painkillers or
medical supervision to aid her.

She’s definitely going to die while trying to push that thing out of her.

Jackie’s wrong. There’s no way she’s surviving this.

Shauna cries so hard and for so fucking long, that her tear ducts eventually run out of salt water to
spray her cheeks with.

“I can’t do this— I can’t do this— I don’t want to do this!”

Shauna is sprawled across the musty mattress, with her knees drawn up and her arms crossed over
her aching abdomen. There’s a scratchy blanket hanging loosely over her waist, because
somewhere in the sticky haze she ditched her flannel and her sweats. Now, Shauna’s just wearing
her patented butterfly tee, which has stretched out in the boob region and the stomach area… due to
obvious reasons. Jackie is sitting to the left of her, alternating between rubbing gently at her
shoulder blades and caressing her face. On the right side of the mattress looms Tai, who is
currently holding Shauna’s hand in a vice-like grip. Misty and Akilah are situated at the very
bottom of the bed, like a tag-team duo straight out of Shauna’s worst nightmares. Each time
another contraction needles at Shauna’s pelvis, Misty’s hands slide beneath the scrap of cloth
covering her torso and manhandle her thighs, shifting them into different positions. And, although
Shauna would never actually admit this to Misty, each movement does help alleviate some of the
pressure off of her pelvis and hips.

While Misty and Akilah continue to check to see if the baby’s head is finally crowning, Shauna
rotates between sobbing and screaming so loudly that her vocal cords start to feel shredded. Yet
another contraction barrels into her, but this one strikes her with a vengeance. She keels over and
screams, even as Akilah and Misty frantically rattle off instructions. Shauna can barely hear what
they’re saying, over the sound of her own, heavy breathing and the blood rushing into her ears. She
glances over in Jackie’s direction and tries to read her lips, but the layer of salt water coating her
irises makes it an almost herculean task. Shauna squeezes down on Tai’s tensed-up hand much
harder, right as she leans in to basically screech in Shauna’s ear.

“Push! Now! Misty says push!” Tai commands, before tearing her hand out of Shauna’s death grip.
She grabs Shauna’s right shoulder and pushes on it, while Jackie does the same to her left one.
Shauna’s entire body steels up, leaving her to just wordlessly shake her head and cry even harder.
Tai’s eyebrows knit together and her blazing eyes narrow in concertation, but the fiery embers
looming in her irises prickle Shauna’s already sweaty and sticky face. “Shauna! You have to push,
ok? You’re out of options.”

Shauna frivolously shakes her head to and fro like a petulant child might, while she weeps shrilly
enough to break a glass into smithereens. “I— I can’t. It hurts.”

“You can,” Jackie reassures her, voice crackling in a way that further bolsters Shauna’s belief that
she legitimately can’t survive this. She tucks a sweaty strand of hair behind Shauna’s ear, and leans
in to kiss her cheek, sniffling a storm up as she does. Seeing Jackie look this scared fills Shauna’s
heart with so much guilt, that she begins to cry so hard that her vision goes blurry again. Jackie’s
voice turns frantic, while her fingertips start to gently caress her bright red and tear-stained cheeks.
“Hey— hey. Baby. Please— please don’t cry.”

“Shauna,” Tai firmly states, with a tone that toes the line between deathly serious and downright
domineering. Jackie reaches up and wipes the tears out of Shauna’s eyes with soft fists, which
allows her to focus on Tai’s hardened face and intense voice. “We’re at the point of no return,
alright? This is happening, whether you want it to or not. You’re strong enough to do this, we all
know you are. So just— just push.”

Seconds after those sharp-edged words spill out of Tai’s mouth, another contraction wreaks havoc
on Shauna’s pelvis and lower back. She screams behind a bared teeth wince, while clenching onto
Tai’s hand so hard that she hears her bony fingers crack. Jackie silently sobs to herself, then
dutifully mops the fresh tears out of Shauna’s eyelids with gentle fingers.

Misty basically buzzes with electric energy, as she suddenly pulls the blanket draped across
Shauna’s middle all the way to the side. She squints and draws her lip between her teeth, sheer
determination striking her features. “Ok! Shauna, push!” Misty commands, while Akilah leans
down and grabs a wet towel out of a bowl on the floor. She passes it up to Tai, who presses it
against Shauna’s forehead with her free hand. Shauna reluctantly follows Misty’s command,
pushing down so hard that her pelvis feels like it’s on fire. Misty pats Shauna’s calf and pushes her
glasses back up her nose, then peers up at Shauna’s grimacing face. “Keep going! Keep pushing!”

Jackie wipes the tears out of her own eyes with the back of her hand, then clears her throat with a
well-timed cough. She forces her breathing to even out, then somehow garners up the energy to
bring back all that happy-go-lucky, team captain conviction that Shauna knows really fucking well.
“You’re killing it, Shipman. Keep going,” Jackie exclaims, while alternating between kneading
Shauna’s shoulders and rubbing her back. It’s suddenly like they’re back on the soccer field,
hyping and pumping each other up for the final stretch of a closely-contested match. “Push harder,
honey. C’mon. You’ve got this.”

Although her strength has been leaving her in waves, Shauna manages to dig into her remaining
cache of energy and uses it to bare down so hard that she swears she can feel literal flames. A
wounded, animal-like cry slips from Shauna’s lips, but that doesn’t deter the efforts of any of the
other girls in the room. They all scream in perfect fucking harmony, repeating the same three
phrases like they’re singing together on a scratched-up vinyl record.

“Push!”

“You’ve got this, Shauna!”

“C’mon. Only a few more to go!”

Shauna keeps pushing and pushing, but it feels like she’s gotten nothing but pain in return. She
mentally curses Jeff and this stupid fucking baby, then silently screams at herself. Her entire body
aches so bad, that she swears it could split in half. All she wants to do is shut her eyes and sleep the
pain away, that’s how fucking tired she is. It’s like the life has been sucked clean out of her, with an
oversized vacuum cleaner.

She hates this baby, more than anything in the world. Once again, Shauna wishes that she had just
gone through with that underwire abortion attempt, consequences be damned. She would much
rather be dead and buried in some shallow, snow-covered grave near the cabin right now. Even if
she had died while trying to tear this baby out of her, she would’ve been freed from all this pain.
She wouldn’t be dealing with getting dissected and studied intently like a wounded animal,
mounted to a corkboard in a science lab.

Now that Shauna has lost the brainpower to mute her thoughts and the wherewithal to care about
anyone else’s opinions, she voices her misery out loud with an insane amount of transparency. “I
don’t— I don’t wanna do this. I just want to die. Please just— just let me die,” Shauna whines,
tipping her head towards the ceiling. She stares up at the wooden beams, eyes stinging with fresh
tears, as she bellows up toward Heaven. Although she did go through a momentary Catholic phase
in middle school, Shauna has never really felt all that connected or obligated to God. So, yeah.
Honestly, most of Shauna’s gravelly pleas are aimed at Laura Lee’s saintly spirit. Knowing how
devoted Laura Lee was to her faith, Shauna figures that she has to be in God’s good graces. Maybe
Laura Lee could put in a good word with the Big Guy Upstairs for Shauna, which would then push
him to grant her morbid wish. “It hurts so bad. Please just— just make it stop. Please, Laura—”

“Don’t say that,” Jackie shrilly snaps, voice dripping with an intense amount of sternness.
Shauna’s heavy head falls back down, allowing her to re-establish eye contact with an
exceptionally frightened Jackie. She sits up and grasps both sides of Shauna’s face between her
hands, while her eyebrows knit together in intense focus. Jackie kind of looks like a peeved mother
right now, which Shauna finds pretty fucking ironic… given the situation they’re currently trapped
in. “Don’t even think that, Shauna. Jesus Christ. I wouldn’t— I wouldn’t be able to live without
you.”

A tornado of intense emotions swirls through Shauna’s chest, decimating her heart into powdered
dust. She’s guilty, she’s fearful, she’s miserable, and she’s downright heartbroken. Shauna doesn’t
want to die like this, in any shape or form. The baby already took full control of her body, stealing
the steering wheel within months of its conception. It’s just… not fair for it to steal Shauna’s entire
life from her, too. She doesn’t want Jackie to have to watch her die, let alone deal with losing the
ability to love Jackie forever.
But, unfortunately for Shauna, she has no choice in the matter. That intense pressure building
within her pelvis is completely inescapable, just like tensing up her legs and bearing down in sync
with the pain happens almost instinctively at this point. Once again, a burning sensation ripples
through Shauna’s insides and sets her pelvis ablaze. She clamps a hand over her mouth and
screams into it, crushing Tai’s hand like it’s some kind of stress ball.

“Shit! Ok, ok. I see something. Do you see what I’m seeing, Misty?” Akilah asks, before passing a
can of water up to Jackie with shaky fingers. Jackie places the rim of the makeshift cup up to
Shauna’s dried lips, tipping the liquid into her mouth as carefully as she possibly can. Shauna gulps
it down so fast that little beads of liquid drip down onto her chin, then begins to pant all dog-like.
Misty bobs her head up and down, hair flying to and fro as she does so. Akilah repositions herself,
so that she’s standing right between Shauna’s spread legs. “Maybe like… two more pushes? You
can handle that. You’ve been doing so good so far.”

Shauna shudders, whimpering and whining between hiccup-like breaths. “Nuh-uh. It hurts so bad. I
can’t— I can’t do this anymore.”

“Jackie… Tai. Help her again!” Misty squeaks, before puffing a stubborn piece of stray hair off of
one of her eyeglass lenses. Out of her peripheral, Shauna catches Jackie and Tai bouncing their
heads in agreement. Once again, Tai and Jackie place their free hands on the shoulder located
closest to them. Shauna can feel Jackie’s fingers digging into the exposed bone, right as Misty
begins to shout commands like a drill sergeant. “Ok… one… two… three— push down! Hard!”

Jackie and Tai throw all their weight into pushing down on Shauna’s shoulders, forcing her weak
body to tip forward. Her stomach muscles squeeze together as she bares down for what must be the
one millionth time today, but she does feel something hard and solid slip about an inch out of her
body. Akilah glances up at her sweaty face and then back between her legs, face paling at whatever
the fuck she spots down there. “One more! One more! I can see the head!”

“Ok, sweetie. You ready?” Jackie whispers, leaning in to kiss her sweaty temple.

Shauna shakes her head and chokes on a mucus-filled sob, adding more tears to the salty waterfall
she’s basically spent the entire day building.

Tai squeezes down on Shauna’s hand, then tightens her grip on her shoulder. She shrugs one of her
own up, nonchalantly. “It’s the last one, Shauna…” Tai trails off, with a soft smile. Shauna bites
down on her lip, while that burning sensation tears another, raspy groan from the back of her
throat. Tai leans in closer to her, in order to whisper directly into the shell of her ear. “No use
chickening out now, right?”

As soon as Tai pulls away, Misty’s doctoral pursuits kick right back into high gear. She taps on
Shauna’s ankle, so that her legs spread open even wider. “One final push till you’re a mom,
Shauna! Aren’t you so excited to meet your baby? I know I am!” Misty practically giggles out,
while her head bounces around like she’s bubbling with energy. Shauna remains silent and grits her
teeth against the indescribable pain coursing through her, but Misty doesn’t seem to get the memo.
“Ok! On the count of three, we’ll get to meet Little Shipman. One… two… three—”

Once again, Tai and Jackie thrust down on Shauna’s shoulders with an extreme amount of might.
She screeches as she pushes harder than she ever has before, hips burning and thighs tensing each
time she puts more pressure on her pelvis. That burning sensation fizzles up inside of her and
radiates into her pelvis, until—

Shauna suddenly feels something slimy and sticky slip free from the very depths of her body. She
squeezes her eyes shut and tosses her head back, landing onto the stack of pillows piled behind her
with a soft thunk. While Shauna focuses on steadying her breathing by sucking in massive puffs of
air, the rest of the girls scramble to handle the baby.

“Wow! Congratulations Shauna! It’s a healthy baby girl!”

Before Shauna can even re-open her eyes, Misty is dropping her blood-covered and weirdly-damp
baby on her aching stomach. Not only can she feel it squirming around on her abdomen, but she
can hear it mewling softly. This sinking feeling arises in Shauna’s stomach, as soon as she wrenches
open her red-rimmed eyes. Jackie kisses her cheek and slips a hand behind her head, before helping
her sit up a bit straighter on the mattress. Misty rushes over to the other side of the room to grab
one of Coach Scott’s old polo shirts, while Jackie peers down at the baby with tears in her eyes.

Jackie slips her hand away from the back of Shauna’s skull, just so that she can gently run her
fingertips all across the baby’s full cheeks. “She’s so beautiful, Shauna. I swear she’s like, your
clone…” Jackie trails off, while Shauna awkwardly re-adjusts so that she can actually cradle the
baby in her arms. It chokes out this gurgly little sound, once Shauna traps it within her stiff arms.
Shauna feels so out of her element, that it takes every ounce of her not to pass the baby off to
Jackie. Like, she’s clearly way more excited to meet this literal stranger, than Shauna is. Case in
point: Jackie sticks her ring-finger in between the baby’s chubby little hand, then starts to whisper
to it. “Hi baby. It’s so great to finally meet you. I guess I’m your—”

“Holy shit. Misty… you might wanna take a look at this.”

Akilah’s shrill voice snaps Shauna out of her stress-induced disarray and forcibly thrusts her back
into her brand-new normal. In a matter of seconds, Shauna is crying hysterically and glancing
between each of the girls with a helpless look on her face. Jackie’s smile slips off of her face, as
soon as she makes eye-contact with a peaky-looking Akilah. Misty takes advantage of Jackie’s
stupor and briefly lifts the baby off Shauna’s stomach, just so that she can quickly wrap it up in
Coach Scott’s forgotten shirt. Once Misty’s done tying that shitty swaddle together, she rushes
back over to the foot of the bed and glances downward.

Shauna’s still so delirious from all of the pain, that she’s unable to register what anyone is saying
to her. She notices Jackie’s lips moving and her face rapidly paling, but her head is spinning so fast
that she physically cannot decipher a single word that shoots out of her mouth. After staring
blankly between a panicked Jackie and a shell-shocked Tai for about five straight minutes, Misty
decides to clue her in on what’s going on. She grabs the baby off Shauna’s stomach and shoves it
into Jackie’s awaiting arms, before snapping directly in front of her hazy eyes.

As soon as Shauna’s ability to hear returns to her, she immediately wishes that it never came back.
She’d rather be rendered deaf forever, if it meant that she could free herself from hearing Misty
squeal the most nauseating statement of all time.

“Surprise, Shauna!” Misty squeaks out, clapping her hands together before settling back between
Shauna’s open legs. She pushes Akilah clean out of the way, as she grabs another wet rag from the
dusty floor and tosses it up to Tai. And, before Shauna can even fully register what Misty’s hinting
at, she blows the whole situation up like a ticking time bomb. “You’ve got one more bun in the
oven. Twin time!”

Shauna sees red.

A kaleidoscope of colors dances across her brown irises, blurring her vision way worse than all
those hot tears have. Her heavy head swivels to the side, dangling from her neck like a ball from a
chain. As soon as she makes eye contact with Jackie, Shauna’s stomach bottoms out. She’s
bouncing the baby in her arms, cooing to it softly, while she stares at Shauna with those doe-like
eyes that signify that trouble’s coming Shauna’s way. All the color has been drained from Jackie’s
face, leaving her pallid and sickly-looking. She looks just like she did when Natalie brought her in
from the cold on that (un)faithful night, to be fucking honest.

Shauna cries, all over again. She shakes her head when Misty tells her to push, then slaps Jackie’s
gentle hand away when it flies near her face. Tai squeezes down onto her hand, but Shauna can’t
fucking feel it. She can’t feel anything. Her body tingles from the numbness that’s both emotional
and physical. She didn’t want one baby, let alone two of them. Her whole body aches, worse than it
ever did during long-winded soccer games or circuits of suicide sprints. Shauna feels like her soul
has been sucked out of her body, leaving her brain to rot away in this hollow husk of a carcass.

She’s not mentally prepared to be a mother, no matter what Laura Lee’s ghoulish apparatus said in
her dreams. Shauna knows, damn well, that she’ll never feel fit enough to be a mother to these two
children. She can slice and dice animals and effortlessly lie to her best friend, but she can’t juggle a
pair of helpless creatures. Unlike Jackie, Shauna isn’t nurturing or soft-hearted during every
waking moment of every single day.

Shauna never actually asked for this to happen, but she did choose to fuck around with Jeff behind
Jackie’s back.

It needles at Shauna’s heart, knowing that she deserves this. Waves upon waves of guilt crash over
her, churning a gaping hole in her already aching stomach. Shauna knows that Laura Lee’s God
shoved twins into her stomach, just to punish her for all the awful things she’s done. Actions
always have consequences. That’s been her motto, ever since their dinky plane decided to crash
land in the middle of fucking nowhere.

Somehow, that thought doesn’t make the idea of pushing another baby out of her body any less
daunting.

When Misty screeches at her to push one last time, Shauna wordlessly follows her orders. The next
baby slides out of her with less physical strain, but hearing it cry and gasp out its first few breaths
of air sends Shauna into an emotional tailspin. Jackie peers down at the bundled-up baby in her
arms with misty eyes, playing the role of the dutiful, freshly-minted father with ease. Akilah
swaddles the second baby up in a white towel, which effectively puts all the blood and viscera that
it stole from Shauna on full display. She then tries to hand it over to Shauna, who waves a curt
hand in her direction and covers her face with her hands. Shauna hears both of the babies squeal,
while Misty hacks their umbilical cords off with one of Laura Lee’s forgotten safety pins.

As soon as Shauna tears her hands away from her face with a huff, she finds Jackie peering down at
her. She rakes a hand through Shauna’s sweaty hair, then plants an extended– but
uncharacteristically chaste and gentle–kiss on her bloodied lips. “Boy and a girl, Shipman. We’ve
got the best of both worlds,” Jackie whispers, a sheepish smile blooming across her face. All her
features are lit up, eyes glowing like a pair of brand-new lightbulbs and cheeks painted with a
cotton-candy pink hue. “Do you want to hold your daughter? Misty’s just cleaning the boy off real
quick, but she said she’ll be right–”

“No,” Shauna stammers out, swiftly cutting Jackie right off. She feels like her entrails have been
ripped from her body, like she’s been gutted out and ripped to shreds like all the game she’s
butchered in the name of hunger. The last thing Shauna wants to do is hold a defenseless and
unwanted baby in the arms that she’s used to swing cleavers down onto the necks of animals. She
isn’t eager to touch either of those strangers with her blood-covered hands, unlike Jackie. “No, I—
I just want to go to sleep, Jackie. I don’t want to hold it.”

Shauna curls up into the fetal position, before Jackie can even attempt to level her with that furrow-
 browed look she employs whenever Shauna does or says something she doesn’t like. The mattress
is sticky with sweat and the smell of coppery blood stains the musty air, but Shauna couldn’t care
less.

She wants to sleep all the pain away, then re-awaken in a world where those babies don’t exist.
Shauna just wants to spiral back into her little fantasy world, where everything is a dream come
true. In that alternate timeline, Shauna is back in New Jersey, playing soccer, and kissing Jackie to
the tune of—

“It? You mean her, right?”

Those words jangle around in Shauna’s eardrums, rolling through her ear canals like multi-colored
marbles. She doesn’t respond to Jackie’s question, just closes her eyes and buries her face into her
sweat-drenched pillow. Shauna’s not ready to fight in this war, to listen to Jackie berate her
parenting skills. She would rather retreat from the battlefield, by burrowing her way into the blood-
stained mattress like one of those rabbits that they caught in the snare trap. So, Shauna puts her
weapons down and locks her mouth firmly shut, even as Misty’s girlish voice begins to cut through
the haze of musk. She registers the sound of two distinctively different types of cries ringing
through the air and bellowing so fucking loudly, that Misty decides to cup her hands over her
mouth and screech.

“Ok! Now we just need to wait for the placenta to pop out! By my calculations, that should only
take a couple more minutes!”

Shauna cries and cries and cries, muffling the sound of her sobs with her pillow. Part of her wishes
she could smother herself with it, just so she can free herself from listening to the rattling cries of
the children she never wanted.

A dark cloud looms over her, as her body turns limp and she slowly drifts off into a deep slumber.

Chapter End Notes

new plan is for yok to end with shauna fully joining lotties cult and then write a sequel
after s2 ends so its canon compliant (minus jackie being alive). there's no way im
gonna finish everything i have outlined before s2 airs so at least i can say its done

coming up next: shauna deals with post-partum depression and grows closer to lottie,
which puts a rift between her and jackie. van reveals a lot more information about the
wolf attack to shauna... and that changes her perspective on things.

End Notes

kudos/comments always appreciated!!

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