The Art of Distraction

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/6997153.

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Category: M/M
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Relationship: Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid
Additional Tags: Oblivious Spencer, Hotch has a sense of humour, New Relationship,
Texting, so much texting, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, First
Time, First Kiss, Work place shooting, Angst, Fluff and Smut
Language: English
Collections: Top 10%, All time favorite Hotch/Reid Fanfictions, Fav HotchxReid, Re-
read a thousand times, Lilranko Interesting Read List, Why are the
Criminal Minds men so hot?? Science cannot explain
Stats: Published: 2016-05-28 Completed: 2016-10-26 Words: 75,811 Chapters:
28/28
 The Art of Distraction
by scarletmanuka

Summary

Morgan has finally convinced Spencer to meet his team. Instead of turning into the awkward,
boring affair he thought it would be, Spencer is pleasantly surprised by how much he enjoys
himself - mostly because of his instant attraction to Hotch.
 Chapter 1

Spencer faltered as he stepped from the car. Loud music pulsed from the building in front of
them and he turned to his friend, his eyes widened in panic “Morgan, you said we weren’t
going to a club!”

“Relax, kid,” Morgan told him, a gentle smile on his face. “It’s not a club, it’s a bar. They just
have a live DJ every Friday night.”

Spencer’s eyes narrowed. “And I assume there’s people - drunk people - dancing to said DJ?”
His friend nodded. “Morgan, that’s the very definition of a club!”

Morgan laughed and slung an arm around his shoulder. “Don’t worry. The team got here a
while ago and snagged us a booth in one of the quieter corners in the back room. It’ll be fine.
No one’s going to make you dance unless you want to.”

They had almost reached the entrance when Spencer hesitated. “I don’t know about this,
Morgan. I’m useless at social situations in general, and being out at clubs and bars, with
drinking, and talking, and meeting new people, and what if they don’t like me? You’ve told
me so much about them and you said that they know all about me but what if they find me
too weird and eccentric and all I do is sit in the corner by myself all night. Maybe I should go
home and meet them another night?”

“Woah, woah, woah! Calm down, Reid!” Morgan placed his hands on his shoulders and
squeezed gently. “Yes, I’ve told the team about you. You’re my best friend, and the smartest
guy I know. And yeah, you’re also the quirkiest guy I know - but even with knowing all that,
they still really want to meet you.”

“But what if they don’t like me?” he mumbled again whilst chewing on his lip.

Morgan sighed. “I can’t make them like you, kid. I honestly think they’ll love you, but you
gotta give them a chance to get to know you. If you sit in the corner and disappear inside that
big brain of yours for the whole night, they won’t have a chance to like you. You have to
meet me halfway here, okay?”

Spencer nodded. “Okay, you’re right. Sorry, I’m just not good at this stuff.”

“I know. But it’ll be fine,” Morgan said, slapping him on the back. “Now will you please
come and finally meet my second family?”

They made their way into the building and paused to allow their eyes to adjust to the dim
lighting. The bar was already crowded, and a dance floor to their left was heaving with
bodies. The pair weaved their way through the tables towards the rear of the building and as
they passed through a doorway into the back room the noise dropped noticeably. Although
the music was still too loud for his liking, Spencer felt himself relax just a little. This area had
booths as opposed to high tables and stools and although just as busy as the front room, the
groups of people here seemed more inclined to chat than dance. Their eyes were drawn to the
far left corner as a woman dressed in a bright pink halterneck dress waved frantically at them.
Morgan led them over and the woman tottered over on the highest heels Spencer had ever
seen and flung her arms around Morgan’s neck.

“My delicious chocolate sex god, you made it!”

Morgan laughed and squeezed her tightly. “Of course, Baby Girl. I wouldn’t have missed it
for the world.” He turned to face Spencer, one arm still around the woman’s waist. “Reid, this
here is the one and only, Miss Penelope Garcia. Garcia, this is Doctor Spencer Reid.”

Garcia beamed at Spencer, but didn't offer to shake hands. He had the feeling that Morgan
had warned his team about his aversion to shaking hands and he felt a wave of gratitude wash
over him. Spencer felt awkward enough as it was in most social situations but when he had to
start explaining his quirks, it increased that awkwardness tenfold. “It’s so lovely to finally
meet the infamous Reid,” Garcia told him.

“Infamous?” Spencer asked warily.

Garcia winked at him and for the first time, Spencer realised she had a feathered ostrich pen
tucked into her hair. “Trust me, it’s all good. Morgan doesn’t usually wax lyrical over
anybody but we’ve all heard great things about you.”

“I feel like I might not live up to those expectations,” Reid told her as his face turned bright
red.

“Ignore her, Reid,” Morgan told him. “I’ve told them lots of horrible stuff too. Garcia’s just
too nice to mention it!”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” he squeaked.

Garcia pulled away from Morgan and whacked him on the arm with her purse. “You stop that
right now, Super Special Spiffy Agent Derek Morgan! Reid, take no notice of him. Let’s
ignore him completely so you can meet everyone else.” She waved him over to the table and
shushed the group sitting there. “Listen up, people! Morgan finally graced us with his
presence and he bought Doctor Reid with him!” The small group cheered and held up their
drinks. Spencer got the feeling they’d already been drinking for quite a while. Garcia pointed
to a petite blonde lady squeezed into the corner of the booth. “This is JJ, next to her is Emily,
and the stud muffin on the end is Rossi.”

“David Rossi?” Reid asked, surprised.

“The one and only,” Rossi replied with a smirk.

“I’ve read all your books! They were fascinating. I actually based my final thesis for my
Psychology course on one of the cases you detailed.”

“I’m glad I could be of help,” he said. “I’d love to hear which case it was and how you
interpreted it.”
“Yeah, yeah, not now, Rossi.” Garcia waved him off. “This night isn’t about you, you know.”
Rossi laughed and mouthed Later at Spencer, who nodded. “The cutiepie in the corner is JJ’s
boo, Will.”

“Nice to meet you,” Will drawled in a heavy Southern accent. Spencer smiled and gave a
little wave.

“Last but not least,” Garcia continued, “Is our Bossman, Hotch.” She pointed to a dark haired
man seated next to Will, who was dressed in a black knit top and jeans.

Spencer felt his mouth go dry and his stomach lurched as Hotch offered him a smile. “Hi,” he
managed to stutter out, his mind suddenly spinning at his inexplicable reaction to Morgan’s
boss.

“It’s great to meet you,” Hotch replied.

“Likewise,” Spencer almost whispered.

Morgan must have mistaken Spencer’s flustered reaction for anxiety at being introduced to
the team, and he placed a hand comfortingly on his shoulder. “How bout you have a seat and
I’ll go grab us some drinks? And don’t worry, I’ll make sure I grab you something non-
alcoholic. I gotta take care of my designated driver!”

Spencer nodded and slid into the empty space next to Hotch. Morgan asked around the table
for everyone’s orders and then he and Garcia made their way to the bar. Emily and Rossi
resumed the debate they must have been having before their arrival and soon JJ and Will
were drawn into the lively conversation. From what Spencer could make out, it revolved
around the best recipe for pasta sauce and it got very heated, very quickly.

“You’ll have to excuse them,” Hotch said, leaning toward him a little so Spencer could hear
him over the racket. “They don’t often get a chance to talk about inconsequential topics.”

Spencer gave him a small smile, and tried to ignore how his heart rate had accelerated when
Hotch had moved closer. “I understand. Obviously Morgan can’t tell me the details, but from
the general gist of his stories, I know it’s a hard job you guys have. It must be nice to just get
away from it all every now and then.”

Hotch nodded. “I couldn’t even begin to guess the number of times we’ve tried to let our hair
down only to be called away before we’ve even started.”

“It must be difficult to relax when you know the phone could ring at any moment.”

Hotch shrugged. “It’s part of the job, so you get used to it. We’re on stand down this weekend
so if a case comes up one of the other teams will take it. At least we know we won’t get
called away tonight.” He gave his team a fond look. “It’s nice to see them relaxed. They need
the break. I just wish I could arrange time like this more often for them.”

“Morgan is always telling me what a hard ass you are. I think he must be exaggerating
somewhat.”
Hotch raised an eyebrow. “Does he now?”

Spencer winced as he realised the social gaff he’d just made. “Maybe I shouldn’t have told
you that he said that. He’s going to be so pissed when he finds out.”

“Don’t worry - I won’t mention your name when I use it to blackmail him.” His look was so
deadpan that it took Spencer half a minute to realise he was joking. Morgan also always told
him that Hotch had no sense of humour, but it seemed it was just too subtle for Morgan to
see.

“Drinks are here!” Morgan announced as he and Garcia returned. “And now that we’re all
here, let’s kick this party off!”

Garcia perched next to Rossi and Spencer was pushed along the bench as Morgan squeezed
in next to him. They all raised their glasses for a toast and when they lowered them back
down he found his entire right hand side was being pressed against Hotch. Spencer drew in a
sharp breath and waited for his anxiety to spike but instead he found himself relaxing into the
touch. As conversation bloomed around him he took a few moments to try and analyse the
change in his reaction. He had always shied away from physical contact - not just because he
was a slight germaphobe, but because growing up most of the contact he’d had was being
shoved against the wall by the school bullies. In his adult life he accepted casual contact only
from close friends - Morgan was the prime example - but otherwise it was something that
made him distinctly uncomfortable. He’d only had one romantic entanglement and he’d had
to have several drinks to sufficiently lower his inhibitions to initiate that.Yes, he’d ended up
enjoying it, but only because it had been with a close friend whom he trusted implicitly. It
wasn’t something he’d ever consider with a random stranger. And yet here he was with his
thigh, hip, and arm plastered against someone whom he’d only just met and he wasn’t phased
at all. In fact, it felt good.

“So what do you do for work?” The smooth voice broke into his thoughts and Spencer found
Hotch looking at him.

“Um, I’m a research assistant at one of the local universities.” He shrugged. “It’s nowhere
near as exciting or glamourous as what you do, but I enjoy it. Plus it gives me time to work
on side projects, and indulge in my hobbies.”

“Don’t believe everything Morgan tells you - our job isn’t as glamourous as it sounds. And if
you enjoy your work, that’s what matters, right?” Hotch took a sip of his whisky. “So what
sort of side projects do you do?”

Spencer paused, taken aback by the question. He’d expected the original question as a
courtesy and was confused when Hotch looked genuinely interested. “Um, well apart from
reading, a lot, I write some articles for several scientific journals, and guest lecture for one of
our sister universities. I try to make my lectures as different as possible so I’m not just
covering the same old material. It makes it a much more interesting learning experience for
the students.” He forced himself to stop there before he blurted out his love of cosplay
conventions and classic science fiction.
Hotch nodded. “It’s nice that you put in that effort. When I was doing my law degree we had
numerous guest lecturers and it all seemed to be the same stuff, delivered the same way, just
from a different mouth. I’m sure the students appreciate it.”

“You have a law degree?” Spencer tried to hide his surprise but he was pretty sure Hotch saw
through it.

“I used to be a district attorney before my work at the BAU.”

“Wow, that’s quite the change.”

Hotch gave a wry smile. “There’s something to be said for stopping the bad guys before they
get caught. It brings a lot more satisfaction to the job.”

“And you said your job wasn’t glamourous.”

Hotch opened his mouth to reply and then shut it again, then shrugged. “You make a valid
point.” He then grinned impishly.

Spencer laughed, and felt his stomach flutter at seeing the grin on Hotch’s face. From what
his best friend had told him, the Unit Chief rarely smiled, but he seemed to be smiling quite a
bit during their conversation. He knew it was most likely because of the whiskey that Hotch
was drinking, but Spencer took it as a win all the same. He made a note to ignore everything
Morgan had told him about his boss because it didn’t seem to apply outside of their job.

“So tell me, Reid - how did you and Morgan become friends?” Hotch took another sip of his
whisky and turned his body slightly so he was facing the doctor even more. Spencer felt their
legs press even closer together and he hoped his face wasn’t as red as he feared.

“It’s not the most exciting of stories. When I first moved to Virginia I lived in a dodgy
apartment building that was falling down around my ears. Morgan was renovating the
apartment next to mine and after a particularly bad storm, the building had a lot of flooding
and damage. Morgan came around to do some repairs and saw me struggling to patch up my
place. He offered to help, and ended up spending most of the weekend helping.” Spencer
glanced over at Mogan and smiled at the memory. “I guess he took pity on me. I understand
the theory behind engineering much better than applying practical principles - which means
I’m not all that handy with a toolbox. Anything more advanced than the very basics leaves
me struggling. After that, every time he was there doing some work he’d drop in for a drink
and a chat.”

“It never ceases to amaze me the joy he finds in fixing up old places. I personally despise
home renovations,” Hotch admitted.

“I’ll drink to that,” Spencer said.

Hotch raised his glass and tapped it against Spencer’s. “To a mutual hatred of painting and
plasterboarding.”
They broke out into matching grins before each taking a sip of their drinks. There was a
nudge in his ribs and Spencer turned to find Morgan looking at him.

“You doing okay, kid?”

“Yeah. I’m having more fun than I thought I would.”

“Glad to hear it. Garcia and I are going to head out to the dance floor. You wanna come? Or
are you good here?”

Spencer wrinkled his nose in a grimace. “I’m fine here, thanks.”

“No problem. See you in a bit.”

Emily joined Morgan and Garcia, and Spencer found himself drawn into a conversation with
the others at the table as Rossi regaled them with a tale of a doomed book tour he’d once
gone on. As the night wore on he grew more and more relaxed and he told himself he’d have
to tell Morgan that he now understood why the team felt like family. They’d only known him
for a few hours and they’d already embraced Spencer and treated him like they’d known him
forever. He’d never before felt so comfortable with a new group of people as he did with
Morgan’s team.

Just before midnight the dancing trio returned, faces flushed and grins on their lips. They fell
into the booths and Garcia looked at the table in despair. “Where did all the drinks go?”

“There’s either a hidden magician lurking somewhere close by,” Emily told her with a furtive
look around the room, “or it’s possible that we drank them all.” She leaned over the table and
put her nose close to one of the empty glasses. “From the evidence in front of me, I think it’s
most likely that we drank them.” She sat back up and winked at Garcia and the two broke
into drunken giggles.

“How about I get us one more round and then we call it a night?” Hotch suggested.

“Awww, Hotch! No fair!” Emily pouted. “We’re just starting to have fun.”

Rossi laughed. “Emily, if you and Penelope have too much more to drink, you may succeed
in turning the blood in your veins into pure alcohol.”

“But we’re having fun!” Emily whined.

“Mamma bear isn’t happy,” Garcia said, turning to glare between Hotch and Rossi. “We don’t
want to go home yet. You don’t want to make Mamma bear unhappy or you might regret it!”

“Baby girl, you ain’t no Mamma Bear,” Morgan told her. “More like a cute little koala bear.”

“Actually, despite their namesake, koalas aren’t in fact bears,” Spencer told them. “Because
they look similar to bears, early settlers in Australia called them koala bears, and also
monkey bears or tree-bears but they’re in fact marsupials.The generic name is Phascolarctos
which is latin for ‘pouch’ and ‘bear’ and this has helped to further the misconception. I also
wouldn’t liken Garcia to a koala because they’re very asocial creatures and spend as little as
fifteen minutes a day in social interactions, whereas Garcia appears to thrive in a social
setting. Also koalas have some of the smallest brains in proportion to body weight of any
mammal and from what I’ve heard, Garcia does not have a small brain…” Spencer trailed off
as he realised everyone was staring at him with their mouths slightly agape. “Er, um, sorry
about that. I was rambling, wasn’t I?”

“That. Was. Amazing !” Emily squealed. “How do you even know all that?”

“I told you, Em, my boy is a certified genius.” Morgan looked over at Spencer with a grin.

“Yeah, but there’s genius and then there’s genius,” Emily protested. “Do you have some sort
of special interest in koalas or something?”

Spencer dipped his head shyly. He wasn’t used to being praised for his knowledge. Most
people tended to think of him as a freak, or a show off. “Well, I have an eidetic memory so I
remember almost everything I read. A few years ago I was reading a few articles on
Wikipedia and one click led to another and I found myself at 3am reading about marsupials.”

“You mean to say, you read an article once and you can recall all of it?” JJ asked him.

“Yes.”

“Wow.” Her eyes were wide. “That’s so cool.”

“Will you be my Phone a Friend?” Emily asked.

“Oooh, tell us something else about cute little furry critters!” Garcia said.

“No, no, I want to hear about how you found out you had super memory powers,” JJ cut in.

Spencer felt his face flush under their scrutiny and he squirmed in his seat.

“I think it’s time I got those drinks,” Hotch announced. “Reid, how bout you come give me a
hand?”

Throwing Hotch a grateful look, Spencer nodded and stood up. Ignoring the disappointed
noises the girls were making, he shuffled past Morgan out of the booth and waited for Hotch
to follow. They made their way to the busy bar and stood in the queue.

“I don’t mean to embarrass you any further, but that was pretty neat.”

Spencer glanced over and saw Hotch offering him a small smile. “Uh, thanks,” he
stammered. “I’m not used to getting such a positive reaction to it.”

“That’s a shame. It’s a unique gift you have.”

Spencer shrugged. “Not many people think so. I think it makes them feel uncomfortable.”

“Well I hope you don’t put too much stock in what others think.” Hotch looked around at the
unmoving line they were in. “I don’t think we’re going to get served anytime soon. I might
find a bathroom if that’s okay with you.”

Spencer nodded. “Of course.” Once he was alone, he eyes wandered around the bar as he
waited. A couple of men moved away from the bar and the crowd shuffled forward, the
people closest to the front fighting for the harried bartender’s attention. He found his mind
drifting to his sudden and overwhelming attraction to Hotch. He couldn’t make sense of it
and he was feeling a little out of sorts by the strong reaction. Most of the time he didn’t find
people physically appealing at all and when there was a spark, it was due to their intelligence
and knowledge. He realised that Hotch was both gorgeous, and smart, but he concluded that
it was that damn smile that had gotten him. He’d do almost anything to be the reason it
graced that handsome face.

After a while he noticed that someone had moved a little too close into his personal space on
his left. Glancing over, Spencer saw a young man with a well manicured beard openly staring
at him. He was dressed in what could only be what Morgan described as Lumbersexual attire
- a close fitting orange and white checked shirt, low slung corduroy trousers and brown suede
boots.Spencer looked away but when he peeked back a moment later the man was still
staring. Actually, leering would be a better word for it.

“Can I help you with something?” Spencer asked uncomfortably.

“I guess it all depends,” the man replied. “If the help you’re offering is to get me out of these
clothes, then yeah, you can.” He ran his gaze suggestively down Spencer’s body.

Spencer gulped. “Um, sorry, that’s not the kind of help I had in mind.”

“Maybe you’ll let me buy you a drink and I can change your mind.”

“I don’t think so. I’m here with friends.”

The stranger raised an eyebrow. “With friends? I’m pretty sure if they’re good enough friends
they’ll be happy to see you make a new friend.”

The queue shuffled forward and Spencer found himself against the bar. The man pushed
closer against him but with how busy it was he couldn’t back away. The bartender took the
order of a woman several places down so he couldn’t even use ordering the drinks as an
excuse to end the conversation. “Look, thanks for the offer, but I’m really not interested.”

“You’re not even going to give me a chance? How do you know you’re not interested if you
don’t even know the first thing about me? I promise you I can show you a good time.”

“I know that you don’t seem to be able to take no for an answer. Why would I want to get to
know anything more?” He tried to keep his voice steady but the slight squeak betrayed his
anxiety. He jumped as he felt an arm wrap around his waist and his head whipped around to
see who had touched him.

“Is everything okay here, babe?” Hotch asked, shooting the bearded man a hard look.
“Um, yeah, sure.” His voice squeaked again, but this time for an entirely different reason. “I
was just explaining to this gentleman that I wasn’t interested in having a drink with him.”

Hotch tightened his grip around his waist and Spencer had to fight the urge to lean into him.
“I’d like to know why he’s still here if you’ve told him no?” His glare intensified and
Spencer saw the man flinch under it.

“I didn’t realise the friends you were here with included your hookup. My bad.” The man
turned and moved away into the crowd and Spencer let out the breath he didn’t realise he’d
been holding. Hotch removed his arm, and it was all he could do to not wrap it back around
him.

“I’m so sorry,” Hotch immediately apologised.

“For what? You didn't do anything wrong.”

“Morgan told us you’re not comfortable with physical contact and I deliberately violated that.
I shouldn’t have interfered - I’m sure you’ve had more than enough practise at declining
offers from strangers. I’m sorry that I overstepped my boundaries.”

“Hotch, no!” Spencer protested. “You have nothing to apologise for. I don’t know what you
mean by having practise at this, because as I’m sure you could see, I wasn’t having any luck
convincing him to leave me alone.”

Hotch didn’t look convinced. “I could have handled it differently though. I would hate to
think I made you feel uncomfortable. Something about him just felt wrong and I reacted
without thinking it through. Pretending to be your boyfriend seemed the fastest way to get rid
of him.”

Spencer laid a hand on his arm. “Seriously, Hotch, it’s fine. I’m glad you stepped in. And you
didn’t make me uncomfortable - that creep did. Thank you.”

After a long moment, Hotch smiled. “I’m glad you’re not upset at me. But seriously, have
you not noticed the looks you’re getting? I’m surprised he was the only one that tried hitting
on you.”

Before Spencer could react to that statement, the bartender appeared in front of them and
asked for their order. By the time they’d made their way back to the table and handed out
everyone’s drinks it was too late to bring it up casually. Spencer pushed it to the back of his
mind and told himself it must have been a throw away statement to make him feel better.
 Chapter 2
Chapter Summary

Hotch leaves his wallet in Spencer's car so Spencer has an excuse to ask Morgan for his
number. They have their first long texting conversation.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

The group made their way out of the bar, Morgan catching Garcia’s arm as she stumbled
drunkenly on her heels. She fell against him in a fit of giggles which made Morgan roll his
eyes, but he still wrapped an arm around her to steady her.

“What do you think our chances are of getting a cab at this hour?” JJ asked.

“I don’t think it’ll be too hard,” Will told her. “With the number of bars in this area I’m sure
they prowl the area pretty frequently.”

“Garcia, I think you’d better come back to mine tonight,” Morgan told her.

“Oooh, my dreams are finally coming true!” she squealed.

He laughed. “If by dreams you mean me stopping you from choking on your vomit when
what you drank tonight finally catches up with you, then yes Baby Girl - your dreams are
coming true.”

She leaned her head against his shoulder. “You’re such a gentleman.”

“You don’t mind, do you?” Morgan asked Reid.

“Of course not. Does anyone else live our way? I’ve still got room for someone else in my
car.”

“Hotch is only a few blocks from my house. Everyone else is the other direction so you guys
should be able to share a cab.”

Rossi nodded, and then squinted at the nearby streetlamp. “Urgh, I’m getting too old for these
sorts of shenanigans,” he muttered. “But yes, that sounds good. I believe we’ll get lucky if we
head over to the main road.”

They said their goodbyes and Reid, Hotch, Morgan, and Garcia headed over to the old Volvo
whilst the others made their way to the main road. They could hear Emily and JJ start to sing
and a moment later Rossi’s baritone joined them. “Poor Will,” Hotch murmured.
Spencer laughed and looked over his shoulder to where Morgan was still helping along
Garcia. She was explaining to him exactly where he ranked in the Olympus of Sex Gods. “I
think Will might end up being better off than us.”

Hotch grinned. “There’s a reason you’re considered a genius.”

Feeling his face turn red, Spencer hurried to his car and began unlocking the doors. He and
Hotch helped Morgan load Garcia into the back seat before they started home. “I’m about a
block east of Morgan,” Hotch told Spencer as the made their way to the highway.

Spencer nodded. “I’m a few blocks northeast from his place so I’ll drop Morgan and Garcia
off first.”

Ten minutes later (after Garcia had challenged a young man in a turbocharged import to a
drag race, thrown her ostrich pen at Reid’s head when he refused, and told Morgan three
times how delicious he was) they had reached their first destination. Spencer and Hotch
waited until Morgan had gotten Garcia safely inside and the porch light had been turned off.
They drove in comfortable silence, Spencer following Hotch’s directions until he pulled up
into the driveway.

“Thanks very much for the ride,” Hotch told him.

“No problem. Thanks for spending the night talking to me. I must admit I was worried no one
would and I’d be bored all evening.”

Hotch gave him an odd look. “It was my pleasure. I had a great time tonight. I hope you’ll
come along to our next night out.”

Spencer smiled. “Yeah, that would be great.”

“Goodnight, Reid. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.”

“You too. Night.”

It was only a ten minute drive to Spencer’s apartment and he found himself smiling the entire
way. He knew at some point he would have to stop and analyse the feelings he was having,
and from there compartmentalise them so the inevitable disappointment didn’t crush him too
badly. But for now he just enjoyed the euphoric feeling that washed through him.
Acknowledging that someone like Hotch would never be interested in someone like him
could wait till at least morning.

Spencer pulled into the brightly lit parking lot of his complex and ducked down to grab his
messenger bag from the passenger seat footwell. As he did so he noticed a small, dark lump
on the floor, He scooped it up and discovered it was a wallet. A brief glance at the ID inside
confirmed that it belonged to none other than SSA Aaron Hotchner. As he made his way
inside, Spencer pulled out his phone and fired off a quick text to Morgan.

SR - Hi Morgan, Hotch left his wallet in my car. Do you have a number I can reach him on so
I can arrange its return?
He’d gotten inside and was thinking about a shower when he heard his phone chime.

DM - I’ll have to look it up. Give me five while I check on Garcia and I’ll msg it through.

DM - Thanks for coming tonight, BTW. Was great having you there.

SR - I had a fun night. Thanks for the invite.

He had a quick shower and by the time he was out there was the promised text from Morgan
with Hotch’s number. He debated whether or not it was too late to send it but then decided it
was unlikely Hotch would have already fallen asleep.

SR - Hi Hotch, this is Spencer Reid. Morgan gave me your number because you left your
wallet in my car. Just wanted to arrange a time so I can return it.

It was a simple, straightforward message with no hidden meanings, and yet Spencer found
himself fidgeting nervously while he waited for a reply. Convoluted scenarios began to run
through his mind, and he was so caught up in his worry that when his phone beeped with the
arrival of a message he jumped.

AH - Thanks for letting me know - I would have thought I was going senile when I couldn’t
find it in the morning. Are you free sometime tomorrow before noon?

AH - Considering it’s just gone 1am I should amend that to sometime *today*

SR - I’m meeting a friend to work on a journal article at the coffee shop opposite the library
on Lincoln. Will be there at 10 and should be there for a couple of hours. Does that work for
you?

AH - I know the place. I can neither confirm nor deny that I’ve eaten enough of their
blueberry pie to determine it’s the best in the state.

SR - I always suspected the FBI had sealed files cataloguing all of Virginia’s pastries.

AH - It’s actually classified. I must warn you this text is set to self destruct in two minutes.

SR - I guess that’s my cue to go to bed then. I’ll see you tomorrow.

AH - :)

Ten minutes later after he’d re-read the messages a hundred times and agonised over what the
smiley face meant (he’s probably still a bit drunk, and just being friendly, and there’s no way
in hell he was flirting) Spencer finally fell into bed. He knew he needed to get some sleep
otherwise Ethan was going to kill him, but he couldn’t help but replay the events of the night
in his mind. When he did eventually fall asleep, his dreams were full of dark eyes, and that
damn, sexy smile.

*****

“You look like shit.”

“Good morning to you too, Ethan,” Spencer grumbled as he sank into the chair opposite his
friend at the coffee shop.

“This will probably help.” Ethan slid a large cup of coffee across the table and laughed when
it was snatched up before he could blink. “Did you sleep at all last night?"

Spencer shook his head and wiped foam from his upper lip. “By the time I got to sleep it was
almost time to get up. I’m an absolute zombie this morning.”

His friend raised an eyebrow. “Proper geniuses remember to go to bed at an appropriate

hour.”

“I guess that’s why you’re always up late.” Spencer drained the remainder of his coffee and
pushed the empty cup across the table. “I’m becoming slightly less undead though.”

Ethan laughed, his black eyes crinkling. “I guess in order to keep you from starting to chew
on all these sleepy brains, I’ll get you another coffee.”

Spencer pulled out his notebooks and for the next hour they worked on the basic overview of
their new journal article. They had just worked out a list of references they’d require when
Ethan snapped his laptop shut and gave Spencer a hard look.

“Okay, Spencer, what the hell is going on. You’re not concentrating, you jump every time the
bell over the door rings and a customer comes in, and I’ve caught you a few times just staring
into space with a weird smile on your face. What is it?” He crooked an eyebrow. “Or should I
ask, who is it?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Spencer stammered.

“You forget that I know you almost better than you know yourself. Also, the last time I saw
you blush this prettily was the morning after we slept together.”

“Ethan!” Spencer hissed, looking around them. “Keep your voice down!”

His friend laughed. “Why? What’s to be embarrassed about?”

“I don’t want the details of my personal life bandied about a coffee shop!”

“I’m pretty sure no one here would care that one night, several years ago, you and I had sex.
It’s not exactly a scandal.”

Spencer glared. “It’s personal.”

Ethan rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Now, are you going to tell me who you’re hoping will
walk through that door?” His eyes locked on someone across the room. “Ooooh! I spy
Twitchy Toby in the corner. Is it him? Do you long to be wrapped in his twitchy arms?”

Spencer twisted around and saw that their IT guy, Tobias Hankle was seated at a table across
the room. He had a newspaper open in front of him and was reading intently. He turned back
around with a glare. “You know I’ve asked you not to call him that. I don’t understand why
you guys are so mean to him. Don’t you remember what it was like to be bullied?”

“Come on, Spence. It’s not the same thing, and you know it. The guy's a weirdo and he freaks
out most of the girls at work.”

“It’s still not nice. But no, it’s not Tobias.”

“Are you sure?” Ethan grinned and started twitching his arms, twisting his face into an ugly
caricature of a kiss.

Spencer tried to keep the smile off his face. His friend was being a dick but he was being so
ridiculous that it was hard not to laugh. “Remind me again why we’re friends?”

“It’s because of my rugged good looks and boyish charm.”

“You’re definitely mistaking yourself with someone else. You know, someone who actually
has rugged good looks.”

Ethan started to reply and then stopped, his eyes going wide. “Well damn, that there is the
dictionary definition of rugged good looks.”

Spencer found himself twisting around again to see who Ethan was talking about. His eyes
fell on Hotch who was standing just inside the door, looking around the shop. He was dressed
in an impeccable dark grey suit, and there was no denying that he was dripping sex appeal.
He smiled when he spotted Spencer and made his way over. “Morning, Reid,” Hotch greeted
him.

“Hey.” Spencer scrambled up from his chair and gave a nervous wave. “How are you today?”
He gestured to the suit. “I thought you guys were on stand down? Do you have to work?”

“The team that were on call got a case so when another came up we got called in,” he
explained.

“Doesn’t sound like bad guys know what a weekend is.”

Hotch shrugged. “It’s the nature of the job. You get used to it. I’d hoped to buy you a coffee
though to say thanks. I hope you’ll accept a raincheck?”

“Oh, yeah, I almost forgot.” Spencer rummaged inside his messenger bag and dug out the
wallet. “You don’t need to do that, it was no problem at all.”

“You put up with my drunken team, gave me a lift home, and returned my wallet - I think that
justifies a hot beverage.”

“Um, okay, well sure.That would be great.”

Hotch gave him a smile and Spencer was sure his heart skipped several beats. Before he
could stammer anything more there was a loud cough from near his elbow.
“Oh! Sorry, Hotch this is my friend, Ethan. Ethan, this is Morgan’s boss, Agent Hotchner.”

Ethan stood up and he and Hotch shook hands. “I was beginning to think your manners had
slipped, Spencer. Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” Hotch said. “You’re working on a journal article together?”

“Indeed we are. Though we don’t seem to be getting much accomplished today.”

“Well I won’t keep you from it any longer. I really must get going anyway - we’ve got wheels
up in thirty. Reid, thanks again.”

Spencer nodded. “It was really no problem.”

Hotch laid a hand quickly on Spencer’s shoulder then with a final smile he left. Spencer
remained standing and watched until Hotch had left the coffee shop before sinking down into
his chair.

“Okay, who the hell was that, and what the hell happened last night?” Ethan’s expression was
a mixture of curiosity and shock, as well as a little awe.

“I told you - Morgan’s boss. Seriously, you’re pretty slow for a genius.”

“You drove him home?”

He snorted. “It wasn’t like that and you know it. I went out with their team for a few drinks
and I gave several of them a lift home. His wallet fell out in my car and we arranged for him
to drop by here to pick it up. End of story.”

“Ooooh no! Not end of story. You like him!”

Spencer blushed. “And? We both know he’s way out of my league. Plus I know he used to be
married so it’s highly unlikely he’s into men.”

“Okay, you just stop right there, Spence. You have to stop putting yourself down. Yeah, he
might not swing both ways, but you’re well within his league. Your leagues are aligned. They
are co-leagues if you will.”

“I appreciate that you’re trying to make me feel better but I don’t have a chance.”

“You landed me, and since I’m just as ruggedly good looking as him, it stands to reason that
you fall sufficiently inside the parameters of the metaphorical sporting syndicate.” Ethan
waggled his eyebrows and got the laugh from Spencer he wanted. “In all seriousness, he
seemed pretty keen to have a coffee with you. I don’t think it’s as farfetched as you think.”

“He was just being polite.”

“I think a zombie has actually eaten your brain since you’ve lost all ability to see reason. But
really, what’s stopping you from trying?”
Spencer shrugged. “Oh, I don’t know - crippling anxiety and no self confidence?”

“I can see I’m not going to get through that thick skull of yours, so I’m going to let this drop.
Just promise me that you’ll think about what I’ve said?”

“Fine. But only because you asked so nicely. And because you’re going to buy me another
coffee.”

“Well of course I am. That’s a given.”

*****

Despite the lack of sleep the previous night and subsequent exhaustion, after half an hour of
tossing and turning, Spencer threw back his blankets and got out of bed. It wasn’t particularly
late as he’d planned on an early night so he scoured his bookshelves for some light reading to
pass the time. He returned to bed laden with books and tea, and as he climbed under the
covers he noticed his phone flashing. He unlocked the screen and was surprised to see a text
from Hotch.

AH - How did the work on the article go?

Before he could over think why Hotch would be messaging him, he replied:

SR - We didn’t get much more done but we’ve got the foundations worked out.

SR - Aren’t you on a case?

AH - We’ve called it a night since we’re at a standstill. This case is more unpleasant than
usual and I worry about the team getting emotionally drained. I ordered everyone back to the
hotel to get some sleep.

AH - I didn't wake you, did I?

SR - Not at all.

AH - I’ve been meaning to ask you a question.

SR - Okay.

AH - Morgan calls you Reid, but your friend - Ethan? - calls you Spencer. What do *you*
prefer to be called?

SR - I guess I don’t really have a preference. People at work call me Reid, and the few friends
I have call me Spencer - though I have no idea why Morgan doesn’t. I think it might be a cop
thing?

AH - Probably. So you don’t mind either way?

SR - I’ll probably answer to ‘Hey, you there!’ so no, I don’t mind.

AH - Well since you’re in the inner sanctum now that know about the sealed dessert files the
FBI keep, I think I’ll use Spencer.

AH - :)

SR - I feel like I should be honoured? Does this mean you consider me to be a friend?

AH - It *is* an honour to know about Piegate. As I said, it’s classified.

AH - And yes, I consider you a friend.

SR - Any friend of Morgan’s is a friend of mine kind of thing?

AH - I was thinking more of a ‘we seem to get on well, and you didn't steal my wallet’ kind of
thing.

SR - Fair enough.

SR - If I’d known making friends was this easy I wouldn’t have stolen all those other
wallets…

AH - Crime doesn’t pay.

AH - But seriously, why do you find it hard to make friends?

SR - Because I’m shy, awkward, and weird?

AH - I didn't find you to be any of those things.

SR - I think that’s because I felt strangely comfortable around you. Maybe because I’d heard
so much about you from Morgan?

AH - I thought he told you I was a hardass?

SR - He also said you didn't have much of a sense of humour but I’m finding you hilarious.
So scrap that thought because obviously Morgan has no idea what he’s talking about.

AH - I must admit, I am beginning to question his profiling skills…

AH - Though with the work we do, and the role I play, his perception of me probably is of a
cheerless hardass. I guess that’s the price of being in charge.

SR - I’ll consider myself lucky then that I don’t work for you.

SR - :)

AH - If I want to catch bad guys tomorrow I’d best be getting some sleep. Thanks for the chat
- it was nice to have a distraction after a rough day.

SR - Feel free to text anytime you need one.

 AH - I might take you up on that.

SR - Oh! I forgot to ask - what do *you* prefer to be called?

AH - My friends call me Aaron.

SR - :)

SR - Goodnight, Aaron.

AH - Goodnight, Spencer.

Chapter End Notes

From my excessive use of the letter U and the way I replace Zs with Ss, you've probably
gathered I'm not American ;-) I've tried not to specify locations and others I've just made
up so if you're familiar with the area, I apologise for the inaccuracies now.
 Chapter 3
Chapter Summary

Spencer continues to provide a distraction for Hotch. Morgan discovers how his friend
feels about his boss.

AH - Is it too late tonight to take you up on the offer of a distraction?

Spencer looked at the message flashing on his phone and his heart skipped a beat. He hadn’t
expected to receive text messages two nights in a row.

SR - I’m a natural night owl so I’m more often than not up late.

SR - I take it today was just as bad as yesterday?

AH - Worse.

SR - Do you want to talk about it? Or do you just prefer a distraction? I can tell you how
snails have thousands of teeth but they can’t actually chew their food...

AH - I don’t want to dump my troubles on you. You don’t need that burden.

AH - And now I’m going to be twice as likely to squish any snails I see in my garden.

SR - I honestly don’t mind if you need to talk. I have pretty skinny shoulders but they can bear
quite a bit :)

AH - Okay, but please tell me to shut up if it gets too much.

SR - Deal.

AH - I guess I just find it hard when we see these horrific things, day in and day out, and I
have to act like they don’t affect me. The team relies on me to guide them, and to keep them
motivated when it seems like we’ll never win. We see the very worst of human nature and
when a team member starts to doubt that we’ll catch the unsub - that we won’t be able to stop
them from doing even more harm - it’s up to me to convince them that we can stop them, that
we can get justice for the families and those left behind.

AH - But there are days when I have those very doubts and I struggle to be the Unit Chief
that my team need me to be. I feel like I’ve failed my team. Today was one of those days.
Today I feel like I’ve failed the team.

AH - And this is the first time I’ve ever been able to admit that to someone.
Spencer stared at the message for a long moment, trying to figure out how to reply. He felt a
sudden sadness knowing that Aaron had never confided in someone before.

SR - I’m trying to come up with something soothing and empathetic to say...but I’m drawing
a blank. I just can’t even fathom what it must be like to have to shoulder that responsibility.

AH - You don’t have to say anything. It’s been good to just be able to *say* it out loud.

AH - Well, write it. But you know what I mean.

SR - I wish you didn't have to be the one that is burdened with that, but from the little I know
of your job, I’m glad that it *is* you. I hate that it makes you feel like you’ve failed, but I
don’t know if I’d want that to sit with someone else who didn't have your integrity. The fact
that it affects you so deeply just shows how much you care, and at the end of the day that
makes you the best at what you do.

AH - …

AH - You’ve left me a little speechless. I didn't expect such kindness from someone I’ve only
just met.

SR - What are friends for?

AH - I’m not sure if you were being totally honest before. You seem to be rather good at this
being friends thing for such a novice.

SR - It’s amazing what you can find in a book.

AH - There are books on how to be a good friend?

SR - Lots of them! I had to look in the kids section of the library and there may possibly have
been a scuffle with a girl named Suzy who was hogging the only copy of Frank and Teddy
Make Friends .

AH - Who won that one?

SR - Let’s just say that little Suzy will have to wait another day to find out how that story
ended.

AH - My hero?

SR - I’m sure there’s an alternate universe somewhere in which that is the case…

AH - Not so alternate…

Spencer picked up a pillow, covered his face, and squealed into it. “Why does this feel so
much like flirting? He can’t be flirting with me!” There was no response from the empty
room.

AH - Do you have a cape?

SR - No, no I do not. And no leggings either. My underwear is strictly on the inside of my
clothing.

AH - That’s an interesting visual…

SR - Well if you’re picturing it, don’t forget the blush that goes with it because I’m beet red
right now.

AH - On that note, I guess I should head to bed now.

SR - No problem. I hope I provided you with a sufficient distraction.

AH - That you did.

AH - ;-)

AH - Goodnight, Spencer.

SR - Night, Aaron. I hope tomorrow is better.

*****

Juggling a tray of coffees, Spencer made his way through the university corridors towards his
department’s office. He dumped the tray on his desk and then unloaded his messenger bag
and scarf. Ethan hadn’t arrived as yet so he popped his drink on his empty desk, and then
picked up two more coffees and crossed the room. “Morning,” he greeted his co-workers,
handing them their beverages.

“Oooh, thanks heaps, Reid,” Maeve told him with a smile.

“Ta,” Nancy said, without looking up from her computer monitor. She picked up the cup and
took a sip, before blowing a strand of orange hair from her face.

“Is Toby in yet?” Spencer asked, retrieving the last cup.

Maeve shrugged. “No idea.”

“Yeah, he slithered in a while ago,” Nancy said. “Careful you don’t slip on his slime trail.”

Spencer sighed and walked down the short hall to where Tobias had his office. The days of
him challenging Nancy over her mean comments had long passed. She had a very loud, very
strong Scottish accent and when she lectured him on her right to dislike whomever she
wanted to, neighbouring departments would complain at the noise. Seeing as he wasn’t going
to change her mind, there was no point in putting himself through that.

“Toby, you in?” Spencer called. He pushed the door open and saw Tobias sitting at his desk,
his face lit up by the light of the multiple monitors.

“Hi, Reid.”
“I bought you coffee,” he said, passing over the cup.

Toby offered him a small, shy smile. “Thanks. You’re the only one who ever does.”

“I think the others just forget because you don’t sit in the same room as us,” Spencer lied.
“So, uh, how was your weekend?”

“It was okay,” Toby said. “I never do much.”

“That’s good. We keep you pretty busy here during the week so not doing much on the
weekend would be nice.”

“I suppose.”

“Okay, well, I guess I should get to work. Um, I’ll see you later then I guess.”

“Alright. Bye, Reid.”

When Spencer got back, he saw that Ethan had arrived and was perched on Maeve’s desk,
gossiping with the two girls. He took a sip of his own coffee, and then flipped through the
work he’d completed on Friday, making sure he knew where he was up to. Their boss
wandered in to greet them and Ethan and the others stopped chatting and got back to work. It
was quiet for the next couple of hours as they all got on with their tasks, and Spencer
managed to finish up a few projects which meant he was now ahead of schedule. His phone
chimed and he quickly opened it.

AH - Thought you might like to know that we caught our unsub. So today did indeed turn out
to be better.

SR - That’s great news!

AH - Thanks for your help last night.

SR - I didn’t do much.

AH - Yes, you did, and I appreciate it.

SR - Anytime.

“Who are you texting?” Ethan asked from behind Spencer.

“None of your business,” Spencer squawked, hiding his phone as Ethan leaned over to try
and read the messages.

“Guessing from that stupid smile, it’s your new boyfriend.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Who’s got a new boyfriend?” Maeve asked, coming to stand next to Ethan.

“Spencer does. Met him on the weekend, and he’s hot.”

“I do not have a boyfriend. I happen to have a new friend, and yes, he happens to be a guy,
and Ethan happened to meet him on Saturday. But no, we are not dating."

“And he happens to be hot,” Ethan added. “And he just happens to want to have coffee with
you.”

“Exciting!” Maeve grinned.

“How hot, exactly?” Nancy asked, joining the conversation.

“Tall, dark, and handsome,” Ethan told her. “Looks dead sexy in a suit and I reckon you’d
melt if he turned his smokey eyes on you.”

“Lucky you, Reid.” The redhead went back to her desk. “Keep us posted,” she called over her
shoulder.

“Yes, I want to hear all about your coffee date!” Maeve said as she joined Nancy.

“It’s not a coffee date! There is no date! There are no days that have been reserved to drink
coffee. Ethan is making this all up!”

Ethan snatched the phone from Spencer’s hand and scrolled through the messages on screen.
“Yeah, you might not have a date planned yet but judging from the number of messages you
two have exchanged, it’s pretty inevitable.”

“Would you give that back!” Spencer snapped. “And can you just drop it?”

Ethan caught the tone in his voice and handed the phone back. “Fine, but I get to be the first
person to say ‘I told you so’ when you guys hook up.”

Spencer huffed and sat down at his desk, turning in his chair so he was facing away from his
friend. After a few minutes he snuck a glance at his phone and saw two messages from
Aaron.

AH - Thanks. And just know that if I can ever lend you an ear, I’m here as well.

AH - Sorry, you’re probably at work and busy. I’ll stop interrupting you. Talk later?

Keeping the phone close to his body so Ethan wouldn’t see him responding, he sent:

SR - Sounds great. Have a safe flight home.

It was lucky that Spencer was now ahead of schedule because he didn’t accomplish much
more that day other than daydreaming.

*****

“Hey there, Pretty Boy! Look what I brought!” Morgan held up a bag full of their favourite
Thai takeout as Spencer ushered him inside.
“Hi, come on in. I’ve got the movie ready to go and there’s popcorn for after dinner.”

They dished up food and Morgan sank onto the couch, his plate untouched on his lap as he
closed his eyes and lay his head back.

“Are you okay?” Spencer asked, a worried frown on his lips.

Morgan rubbed at his eyes and then gave his head a little shake to clear off whatever thoughts
seemed to be haunting him. “It was just a bad case.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Nah, it’s all good. Let’s just watch the movie, hey?”

Spencer let it drop and hit play on the DVD. Morgan was quiet to begin with but after twenty
minutes he started making the odd comment here and there and by halfway through, he was
running a full commentary on the more outlandish plot points. The worry Spencer felt for his
friend started to dissipate as he realised that this was what Morgan needed in order to debrief
from the case.

The end credits began to roll and Morgan stood up and cleared away the dishes. “How did
Garcia pull up after the other night?” Spencer asked.

Morgan laughed as he returned to the couch. “That little lady turns into a demon when she
has a hangover. I don’t think I’ve ever been so glad to get a call into work than I was that
morning. That fiery tongue of hers was taking lashes off me before I’d even finished cooking
her breakfast.”

“After hearing so much about her and seeing you guys together the other night, I’m not sure I
understand why you’re not together.”

“Oh, Reid, I forget how innocent you are.”

“I’m not innocent!”

“When it comes to matters of the heart, yes, my genius, you are. Penelope and I are the best
of friends, we will be until the day we both die. She knows me better than even you do, and I
trust her with my life. Yes, we flirt, and yes, I love her, but she means too much to me to ruin
all of that by introducing sex into the equation.”

“You’re telling yourself it would fail before you even give it a chance.”

“No, I’m being honest enough with myself to know what I’m like. I screw up relationships
like it’s a damn game that I’ve won all the medals for. Garcia is too important to me to risk
losing her because I stuff up. If we keep the romance out of it I can see us growing old
together and getting up to no good in the old folk’s home. But as soon as we take it in that
direction, no matter how good it is to begin with, I’ll eventually do something to ruin it. She
means too much to me to take that risk.”

“I still don't understand.”

Morgan gave him a playful shove on the arm. “I didn’t expect you too.”

“I’m glad though that you care so much that you’re willing to do that for her. I really liked
her. I really liked everyone I met the other night.”

“That’s great, man. I always knew you’d get along well with the team. They’re a great
bunch.”

“Hotch is the one who’s wife died, isn’t he? I remember when it happened and how upset you
were, but I’ve now got a face to go with the name.”

Morgan’s expression turned haunted. “Yeah, that was a truly fucked up time. I don’t know
how he came out the other side alive, really. I guess he had to keep going for his son.”

“I can’t imagine having your family ripped away from you like that.”

“I don't think I told you, but we heard the phone call he had with Hayley, just before she was
shot. She’d broken him, when their marriage ended. She cheated on him, and tried to make
him leave the BAU, and made him feel like a terrible father, and it destroyed something in
him. But even then, he still loved her, and when she died, it broke something in him again.”
Morgan sighed and ran a hand over his scalp. “No wonder the man never smiles.”

“You keep telling me that, but I talked to him a lot the other night and he smiled quite a bit.”

“Yeah, well, you have that effect on people, kid.”

“I’m surprised at how well we got on. He dropped by the coffee shop before you guys flew
out to pick up his wallet and since then we’ve texted a few times as well.”

“Rossi has been pushing him to make friends outside of the BAU. He’s not close to his own
family, and apart from Jessica - Hayley’s sister - he doesn’t really get on with that family. As
far as I know, other than a couple of dads from Jack’s soccer team, he doesn’t speak to
anyone else outside of work. So I’m glad he’s taking Rossi’s advice. It will do him good to
have someone else he can rely on.”

Spencer played with a loose thread on his sweater. “So, he hasn’t dated or anything since
Hayley died?”

Morgan shook his head. “Rossi tried to set him up a few times, but I think he only ever went
along with it to keep him happy. Nothing seemed to come of it.”

“So, do you think he’s not been interested in anyone, or he just doesn’t want to date
anymore?”

“I’m not sure. Oh wait - he mentioned a while back that he was doing some triathlon training
with some chick he’d met. I think her name was Becky? Beth? Something like that.”

“Do you think he’s seeing her?”

“I don’t think so. Why all the questions about his love life? It’s almost like you’re interested
in -” His mouth dropped open into a perfect O. “Oh!”

Spencer blushed. “Yes. Oh.”

“Oh!”

“Yep.”

“Oh!”

“Morgan, if you don’t close your mouth right this instant I’m going to drop a ping pong ball
in it and win a teddy bear.”

Morgan closed his mouth, but then said “You can’t just drop something like that on me and
expect me to not to be shocked!”

“Why is it so shocking?”

“Well, because, Hotch is, well Hotch, and he’s not, well, you know, he’s not exactly, um,
well, I mean, he’s not exactly who I pictured you’d like. I mean, he’s Hotch!”

“And just what exactly did you picture to be my type?”

Morgan shrugged. “I don’t know. More nerdy and sciencey and less stern and humourless I
guess.”

“You expected me to meet someone at a D&D tournament, and we’d have candlelit dinners
by Lightsabers, and afterwards we’d hammer out a few math problems before bed?”

“You know I didn’t mean it like that!”

“It kind of sounds like you did. It sounds like you think I should be attracted to people like
me.”

“Fine, maybe I did. But you say it like I think ‘people like you’ is a bad thing. And you know
I don’t think that. We just watched The Wrath of Khan, and last week we spent two hours
debating the moral and ethical dilemmas raised in Ender’s Game. You know I embrace my
inner nerd more than most people and I don't think any less of people if they prefer books to
playing catch. Why is it so bad that I assumed that you’d be interested in someone more like
yourself?”

“I don’t know. I guess I’ve just been nervous about you figuring out how I feel, and...judging
me, I guess.”

“Why would I judge you, Reid? You know I’m all for love and happiness. I’m no bigot.”

“I know that! You’d be the last person I’d expect to judge me for being gay. I was more
worried what your reaction would be to me liking your boss.”
Morgan gave him a speculative look. “I’ve never even thought of Hotch in that way, so I
suppose that’s more why it was a surprise. But if he’s what floats your boat, then I accept
that, man. My concern is that I don’t know if Hotch swings that way and I don’t want you
getting hurt if he doesn't reciprocate.”

Spencer pulled his knees up his his chest and rested his chin on them. “I’m well aware of
how one sided my feelings are,” he grumbled. “I wasn’t even going to tell you. You’re the
one who used your profiling super powers on me.”

“That wasn’t using super powers, Reid,” Morgan laughed. “You weren’t exactly subtle.”

He sighed. “I guess not. Urgh, what am I going to do, Morgan?”

“There’s not much you can do. Just try and keep a level head and don’t read too much into
stuff. You said you guys have been texting?”

“Yeah.”

“What about?”

“Just stuff. Work, mostly. I try to make him laugh. But I know what you’re saying. Even if he
did like men in that way, I doubt he’d ever be interested in me anyway. I’m not delusional.”

Morgan rolled his eyes. “You don’t know that. Really, there’s a lot you don’t know about this
situation and you’re just going to have to see how it unfolds. Just take it one day at a time,
yeah?”

Spencer nodded. “One day at a time,” he agreed.

 Chapter 4
Chapter Summary

In which there is texting - lots and lots of texting and Spencer is oblivious to Aaron's
flirting. Also, Spencer has Poptarts for dinner.

Chapter Notes

So I'm sure you've noticed the timeline isn't exactly canon. There are characters
mentioned that obviously weren't around when other characters were but it works for
this universe so I hope you can stick with it.

“You know the barista always judges me when I order your coffee…”

Spencer gave Nancy a wry grin as he took his coffee. “I can’t help it that I’m very specific
about how I take my morning dose of caffeine.”

“At this point it’s hardly caffeine - it’s essentially liquid sugar. She asked me this morning if I
wouldn’t just prefer a cola. I tried to tell her that one was for you but she clearly didn't
believe me.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re a stick insect and I have belly rolls and she clearly thinks I didn’t get them
from drinking plain black coffee.”

“I’ll be sure to set the record straight when it’s my turn next.”

Nancy glared at him. “You’d better. Is Ethan in yet?”

Spencer snorted. “Of course not. You know he doesn’t drag himself out of bed until the last
possible minute.”

“Oh well, if his coffee goes cold then it’s his bad. I’m not going out to get him another one,
otherwise Judgey Barista Lady might think that I’m an addict. That’s the fifth coffee you’ve
gotten today, perhaps an intervention is required.”

“You sound like Sean Connery in Hunt for Red October when you try to use an American
accent.”
Nancy poked her tongue out and walked over to her desk.

“Wait a minute,” Spencer called. “You only got four?”

“Well, yeah. You see another desk in here?”

Spencer felt his temper rise. “And yet there’s five days in the week and every Friday Toby
brings us coffee. Why don’t you ever return the favour?”

Nancy scoffed. “Whatever, Reid. I’ve made it clear I don’t want anything from that twitchy
freak.”

“And yet I seem to recall you drink it every week.”

“Well, why waste it?”

“It’s simple courtesy.”

“Why the hell can you not grasp the fact that no one likes him. I don’t want anything to do
with that creep. It’s bad enough that I have to see him when these ancient pieces of crap we
have to work on break all the time. The more he stays in that dank cave of an office the better
for all I care.”

“You’re a piece of work, you know that.” He shoved his chair back and grabbed his wallet.
“I’ll be back soon.” Spencer stormed from the office, but faltered as he saw a hastily
retreating form at the end of the corridor leading to the IT office. He had a horrible feeling
that Toby had overheard the whole conversation. He had an overwhelming desire to kick
Nancy when he got back.

He made it to the campus cafe in record time and was lucky that there was such a short
queue. He placed his order and while he was waiting, one of the regular baristas waved him
over. “The redhead from your office today was weaving a likely tale. She tried to tell me that
that sugar laden brew was yours and not hers. She was quite worked up over it actually.”

“Yeah, she was trying to have you on,” Spencer replied, feeling a stab of glee. “She keeps a
sugar bowl on her desk and adds even more when she gets back to the office. But don’t tell
her I said that - she’s really touchy about people finding out.”

“Your secret is safe with me. Here’s your coffee, have a great day!”

“You too.” It was silly and spiteful, but for some reason, it made Spencer feel better. Of
course, he was as good as dead if Nancy ever found out - she could be vindictive when
wronged - but he felt it worth the risk. He got back to the office and ignored the girls when he
entered. He’d clearly interrupted Nancy telling Maeve all about their argument, and he knew
who Maeve would side with. The truth was, that apart from Spencer, no one in the office did
like Toby. He plastered a smile on his face and went down the hall to the IT office.

“Hey, Toby, I bought you coffee!”

Tobias turned away from him and rummaged in a desk drawer, but not before Spencer saw
that his eyes were red. He’d clearly been crying. “Uh, thanks. You didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to.”

“Um, okay. Thanks.”

“Are you okay?”

Toby stopped looking through the drawer but didn't turn to look at him. “I know what they
think of me. Nothing will change that. What else can I do.”

“I’m sure they don't mea-”

“Stop!” His voice was more forceful than Spencer had ever heard it and he swung around to
face him. His shoulders slumped and he continued in his usual quiet voice. “Just, stop.
Please. Yes, they do mean it - we both know that. If you don’t mind, I really want to be left
alone now.”

“Oh, well, okay then. I’ll just leave this here.” Spencer placed the cup on the desk and turned
to leave the room. As he went back to the office he was sure that he heard a choked sob from
behind him.

*****

AH - How’s your day going?

SR - Not the best. I’m on my lunch break and I’ve left the office to sit outside so I don’t yell at
my co-workers.

AH - What’s wrong?

SR - They can just be unfeeling assholes at times.

AH - What did they do to you?

SR - They didn't do anything to me. They don't like our IT guy and they can be really nasty to
him. I’m just sick of it. I feel like I’m back in highschool and I know how it feels to be bullied.

AH - That’s a hard situation to be placed in. Can you report them?

SR - I probably could, but I think Toby would be mad if I took it further before he’s ready.

AH - I guess then there’s not much you can do.

SR - I think that’s why I’m so grumpy.

SR - Sorry, how’s your day going?

AH - Anything I can do to make you feel better?

AH - My day is horridly boring. I’ve been stuck in budget meetings all morning, and this
afternoon I get to do some OH&S training.

SR - Actually, just hearing from you has made me feel better.

AH - Glad I could help. Not that I’ve done much - just say hello.

SR - You’re being a distraction. It seems to work as well for me as it does for you.

AH - Morgan says you guys hung out last night.

SR - Oh?

Spencer looked in horror at his phone. Surely Morgan wouldn’t have said anything. Would
he?

AH - As I said, it was a bad case, and it really affected Morgan. I’m glad you kept him
occupied last night so he wouldn’t dwell on it.

SR - We just watched a movie and had dinner. It wasn’t much.

AH - It was enough.

SR - What about you? How did you keep yourself occupied?

AH - I took Jack (my son) out to an arcade and we played video games and had ice cream.

SR - I’m jealous. That sounds like a better night than mine.

AH - You’re a gamer?

SR - Not at all. Not video games anyway. I’m a bit of a technophobe. But I *really* like ice
cream.

AH - What games do you play then?

SR - I enjoy board games, and I’m rather good at playing cards. I *may* have been banned
from several Vegas casinos…

AH - Spencer Reid, are you telling me you’re a card shark?

SR - Sharks really don’t deserve their reputation - they’re really not as scary and nasty as
they’re made out to be. Do you know you have more chance of being killed by a cow than you
are of being killed by a shark?

AH - You’re avoiding the question.

SR - Let’s just say that my brain is very quick to recognise patterns and it’s hard to turn that
off. I have three PhDs and three BAs, and I no longer have any student debt. Does that
answer your question?
AH - Essentially you’re telling me never to play strip poker with you if I don’t want to be
down to my tighty whiteys while you laugh your ass off whilst remaining snug and warm?

SR - Probably *not* the way I’d have worded it

SR - But yes.

AH - Rossi has just walked in to give me a weird look. Apparently it’s odd for me to be
giggling to myself in my empty office.

SR - I can’t picture you giggling.

AH - You’d be surprised. I’m sure I’d rival your friend, Little Suzy.

SR - As much as I don’t want to, I have to go back to work now.

SR - If my co-workers are still being dicks though I cannot be held responsible for my
actions.

AH - If you need help burying the bodies, I have a thorough understanding of how to
eliminate any evidence.

SR - I may need to take you up on that.

*****

It was late by the time Spencer got home that night. He and Ethan had met at the university
library to work on their article, and they had stayed much longer than anticipated. They had
worked mostly in silence, since Spencer was still annoyed and Ethan seemed oblivious to his
mood. He’d declined Ethan's offer to get food afterwards, and so when he got home he
rummaged through his fridge and pantry, looking for something to eat. There wasn’t much
and he told himself as he put some poptarts in the toaster that he really needed to go shopping
soon.

He boiled the kettle and made a cup of tea while his ‘dinner’ was heating, and when it was
ready he retired to the couch with one of his favourite books. His phone chimed and he fished
it from his pocket, expecting it to be a text from Ethan. He couldn’t suppress a smile when he
saw that it was actually from Hotch.

AH - I didn’t get called in to investigate a brutal, multiple homicide at the university this
afternoon so I assume your day got better?

SR - So your assumption is that I *didn’t* murder them, and not that I did and it’s just that no
one has discovered the bodies yet?

AH - ...do I need to provide you with an alibi ?

SR - Despite me feeling fully justified if I did off them all? No, they get to live another day.

AH - I suppose that’s good news.

SR - Considering the sorts of conversations we’ve had, especially today, I must ask - is this
the phone you use for work?

AH - It is, but don’t worry, Garcia makes sure our private messages are kept private.

SR - So there’s no need to expect a SWAT team to storm my apartment at any moment?

AH - I expect you’re relatively safe from that happening tonight.

SR - I guess my day has a silver lining after all.

SR - Besides talking to you that is.

AH - :)

AH - I take it you don’t mind me texting then? I’m not interrupting anything, am I?

SR - Not at all. I’m just finishing off a very mediocre dinner. I probably shouldn’t have even
bothered with it.

AH - What sort of meal could be so bad?

SR - Poptarts?

AH - You’re having Poptarts for dinner? Really?

SR - I didn’t have anything else here. Old Mother Hubbard appears to have been doing my
grocery shop lately.

AH - Next time I see Mother Hubbard I’ll kick her ass since she’s obviously not taking care of
you properly.

SR - Just be warned - she’s a tough old crone. She might just give you an ass whooping
instead.

AH - I’m pretty sure I can take her on.

SR - I’m not so sure about that.

AH - I’m a little heartbroken at the lack of faith you have in me to beat up one little old lady.

AH - If she starts getting the upper hand I’ll just run away. I’m actually very good at that.

SR - Morgan mentioned that you do triathlons.

AH - I don't *do* triathlons - I’ve done one. But I’ve always been a runner.

AH - What about you?

SR - Sorry for the delay in typing this text - I was busy laughing maniacally to my lounge
room.
SR - Do I look overly athletic to you?

AH - Just because you’re slim, doesn’t mean you’re not athletic.

SR - Point taken, but the only running I’ve ever done was away from the school bullies. The
only sport I play is chess. It’s not something that interests me.

AH - That’s fair enough.

SR - Are you terribly disappointed in me?

AH - Why would I be? Everyone has different interests.

SR - I worry you’ll find me boring…

AH - Spencer, if I found you boring, would I have kept bugging you with text messages?

SR - You’re not bugging me.

AH - And you’re not boring.

AH - I enjoy chatting to you.

SR - I still find that hard to believe.

AH - If you don’t stop that, it won’t just be Mother Hubbard getting an ass kicking.

SR - I call your bluff on that.

AH - …

AH - Fine, I was bluffing. I might not kick your butt, but I do wish you’d stop putting yourself
down so much.

SR - Morgan’s been trying to get me out of that habit for years now. I’m not sure you’ll have
any more luck than he did.

AH - I’m a lot more stubborn than Morgan.

SR - He’s as stubborn as a mule so that’s an alarming thought.

AH - Isn’t it just?

AH - Consider that fair warning then.

SR - Are you trying to bully me into having more self confidence?

AH - I can see why you’d think that…

SR - I’m guessing you have a very tactical and analytical mind. How well do you see that
playing out?
AH - Okay, I admit that perhaps it’s not the best strategy…

AH - But you can’t stop me from trying to make you see yourself from another perspective.

SR - I wish you luck with that.

AH - Game on, Spencer.

SR - I shall ensure I appear suitably terrified. Can you hear me quaking in my boots from
there?

AH - Morgan never mentioned what a smartass you were.

SR - That’s because for some reason this side of me doesn’t come out all that much. Though
you seem to see it quite a bit.

AH - Does that make me special?

SR - I’m pretty sure you already have that in your title, SSA Hotchner.

AH - :P

AH - I suppose I should get to bed. I have more meetings tomorrow and I’ll be yawning
enough as it is through them from content alone.

SR - Sounds utterly delightful. I can already see what a splendid time you’re going to have.

AH - Be nice.

AH - Goodnight, Spencer. Talk tomorrow?

SR - I’d like that. Night, Aaron.

*****

AH - Do you think it’s possible to actually die from boredom?

SR - While not being the actual cause of death, studies have shown that people who regularly
describe themselves as being bored are more than twice as likely to die from heart problems
than the general population. Unless you start experiencing chest pain, I think you’ll survive.

AH - That’s a shame. Death is looking very appealing compared to this meeting.

SR - Are you in a meeting right now?

AH - Yes.

SR - Won’t you get in trouble for being on your phone?

AH - Usually yes. But usually I would never text during a meeting. Today however all the unit
chiefs and other higher ups have been gathered to listen to a presentation by an oversight
committee who are investigating cost saving measures. The speaker has only just finished
covering recommendation 22 of 54, which was the suggestion that instead of the brand of
paper cups they currently use in the breakroom, we instead use a slightly cheaper brand.
What makes it worse, is he’s about eighty years old and has this quavering voice that seems
to take twice as long to reach the end of a sentence than normal.

AH - Everyone stopped listening half an hour ago. The Director is sitting two places down
from me and I saw her start browsing Facebook when the 15th recommendation was
discussed.

SR - Wow. I can see why you’re bored.

AH - I’m probably interrupting your own work. Sorry.

SR - I’m currently doing the ‘research’ part of my job, and I’m camped out in the library.

AH - Will you get in trouble if you’re caught texting?

SR - It’s highly unlikely. Firstly, my boss rarely leaves his office before lunch, and secondly,
within half an hour of coming here I’d already read two of the texts I needed to for this
project.

AH - You read two books in thirty minutes???

SR - I can read 20,000 words a minute, so the two books were easy. I also made notes in that
time.

SR - Aaron?

SR - I finally said something that scared you off, didn’t I?

AH - To the contrary. I obviously couldn’t keep the amazement off my face because the
speaker mistook it as being in regards to Recommendation 24. I have now been elected
Champion for Change for Recommendation 24. Do you know what Recommendation 24 is?

SR - I’m afraid to ask…

AH - Recommendation 24 is changing the brand of coffee they stock in the breakrooms to a

much cheaper, and nastier brand.

AH - The amount of hate being directed at me is a little overwhelming. I’m pretty sure the
Director just made a note to fire me immediately.

SR - Oh dear.

AH - I think we can safely assume that my popularity in the office is going to plummet to even
new depths.

SR - If I were you, I would start wearing a bulletproof vest at all times.

AH - You seem rather flippant about this.

SR - Do I? It’s not like me to show such disrespect to the Champion of Change…

AH - You know this is all your fault.

SR - How is it all my fault?

AH - Because if it wasn’t for you blowing my mind with how talented you are, I wouldn’t be in
this mess.

AH - Spencer?

SR - You made me blush so much I think my face melted.

SR - I’ve never met anyone who hasn’t freaked out over my abilities. Even Morgan took
forever to accept it as normal.

AH - I don’t understand why people would freak out. You have a truly amazing skillset.

SR - They seem to think I’m some sort of freak.

AH - Well, you’re not.

SR - Thanks, Aaron.

AH - You’re welcome.

SR - Which recommendation are you up to?

AH - 29.

AH - Pretty sure I’m starting to feel some twinges in my chest.

SR - Take some aspirin and it should pass.

AH - You’ll feel terrible for mocking me when I suffer from a coronary infarction.

SR - I’ll make sure we engrave ‘I told you so’ on your tombstone.

AH - You’d better.

AH - We’re breaking for morning tea and the Director is heading my way. I’d better go since
it seems she wants to yell at me.

SR - Have fun.

*****

SR - Do you live to fight another day?

AH - I managed to escape the office unscathed.

AH - This was nice.

SR - What was?

AH - Apart from that first text about my wallet, I don’t think you’ve initiated a conversation.
Seeing you do it tonight reassures me that I’m not bugging you.

SR - I’ve already told you that you don’t bug me.

SR - You keep telling me that I need to work on my self confidence, but I’m beginning to think
that you have the same kinds of insecurities.

AH - I guess I’m usually just better at hiding them than you.

SR - Now who needs an ass kicking?

AH - I thought we agreed you’d be nice?

SR - I’m not sure I ever agreed to that.

SR - But how about, just this once, I make a special effort? I mean, it’s only right to show
kindness to a man who is probably going to be lynched as soon as the next coffee order
arrives at his place of work.

AH - Thanks for reminding me…

SR - My eidetic memory has its perks.

AH - How was the rest of your day?

SR - It was rather uneventful. I went to one of the parks near my place after work and played
a few games of chess with the guys there, and then I stopped by the store on the way home
and got some food to fill my pantry.

AH - I’m glad to hear that.

SR - After the disdain you showed to my Poptarts, I thought you might be.

AH - Please tell me you didn't just buy more Poptarts…

SR - Maybe…

AH - Spencer!

SR - Okay, fine, I got other stuff as well but a few boxes made their way into my basket.

AH - Remind me to buy you some multivitamins. You cannot be getting the proper nutrients.

SR - You’re worse than Morgan.

AH - I’m pretty sure we established that yesterday.

AH - I’d better get going. It’s Jack’s bedtime and I promised him a story.

SR - Of course.

AH - Just letting you know, I’m lecturing at the academy tomorrow so I probably won’t be
able to text during the day.

SR - No problem. Take care.

AH - You too.
 Chapter 5
Chapter Summary

Spencer and Hotch admit their feelings.

AH - Do you sometimes feel like you’re invisible?

SR - All the time. Why?

AH - I was standing in my office this afternoon, watching the team pack up their things and
joke with each other, and some of them were making plans for dinner, and I suddenly just felt
like no one would notice if I wasn’t there.

AH - I’m sorry. How’s that for the most depressing way ever to start a conversation?

AH - Spencer?

SR - Sorry, I’m here. I was just a little speechless at how well you summed up how I feel most
of the time. I may not have known you long but I’m surprised that you’ve ever felt like that.

AH - I’m not a robot, despite what Morgan may think.

SR - I know that, Aaron. And he doesn’t think that. Not that I’ve heard anyway. What I meant
was, you are YOU. The minute you walked into the coffee shop to pick up your wallet, Ethan
noticed you immediately. You just have a...presence. I can’t imagine you ever feeling invisible
because I can’t ever imagine you not being noticed.

AH - And I can’t imagine how someone like you could ever feel invisible. I’m not sure if this
will sound the way I mean it, but I think you’re a bit shortsighted when it comes to your
immediate surroundings.

SR - What do you mean? I could take one look at a room and list almost everything in it.

AH - I don’t mean like that. I mean how people respond to you. Take that night at the bar for
instance. That lumberjack may have been the only one who approached you but in the time it
took us to get drinks and return to the table I saw six women and three men checking you out.

AH - That is as far from invisible as you can get.

SR - I think you may have mistaken them checking you out for me. No one looks twice at the
nerd dressed in a sweater vest and a tie.
AH - It’s not just how you were dressed, or what you look like. You’re intelligent, and
passionate about so much, and that makes you light up. You have an energy about you that
just draws people in. It drew me in.

AH - I suppose this is just a perfect example of how we see ourselves as opposed to how
others see us.

AH - It’s amazing how quickly this conversation went from me saying something depressing
to me saying something embarrassing.

AH - I’m not sure if you can tell, but I’m not good at this kind of thing.

SR - What sort of thing would that be?

AH - Flirting.

AH - Spencer?

SR - Sorry, I dropped my phone when I started hyperventilating.

AH - Are you okay? Did I say something wrong? I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable.

SR - You didn’t say anything wrong. The exact opposite in fact. I’m just really, really
surprised that you would even think to flirt with me. No matter how much I wished you
would.

AH - Why?

SR - Because you are YOU and I am ME and never in a million years did I ever think
someone like you would be interested in someone like me.

AH - You mean you thought it highly unlikely that a middle aged, grumpy man would be
interested in an attractive, highly intelligent, compassionate, funny, and kind younger man? I
get it’s not something that gets used overly much in romantic comedies, but I didn’t think it
that far fetched.

SR - If you had been privy to my daydreams this past week you’d know that that’s not at all
how I see you.

AH - You’ve been daydreaming about me???

SR - Now who’s saying the embarrassing things?

SR - Since it seems to be contagious, I guess I’ll just get this out there now. The minute I met
you I had to re-evaluate myself entirely because I just *don’t* react that way to people. I’m a
socially awkward genius who rarely even notices what other people look like let alone feel
such an instant attraction to.

SR - I felt comfortable with you from the start, despite the fact my heart was pounding and I
blushed every time you so much as looked at me. I’ve never had that kind of connection with
a complete stranger. And since then I’ve not been able to stop thinking about you, or stop
smiling whenever I get a text. And here I am spilling my soul (which I’m sure I’ll have an
anxiety attack about later) and will probably scare you off, but I don’t care because for some
strange reason, I want you to know.

AH - You’re not going to scare me off. Trust me.

AH - I’m sure you’ve gathered from what I’ve told you about how I have to act at work, and
from what Morgan has said, that I don’t exactly come across as Mr Friendly. The truth is,
even in my personal life I’ve always been a bit closed off. I’m not good at discussing my
feelings, or opening up to people, especially out loud. I seem to be able to express myself
better in writing, which is why most of my texts are novellas. But I’ve told you things I’ve
never told anyone, or would even consider discussing, even with my late ex-wife.

AH - So I feel the exact same way when you say you felt a connection.

SR - I guess that brings me to the other reason I didn’t think you’d ever be interested in me...I
assumed you were straight.

AH - A lot of people do. But just because I was married to a woman, doesn’t mean I’m
hetrosexual. I’ve always been attracted to people, not what’s between their legs.

SR - So...you’re saying that you’re *not* interested in what’s between my legs?

AH - Do you *want* me to make you blush?

AH - Because I will.

SR - Maybe we can save that for another day?

SR - So...what happens now? If I’ve not specifically said it, I’ll say it now. I have very little
experience in areas such as these.

AH - Well for one, we’re going to set a date for that damn coffee I’ve been wanting to have
with you.

SR - I could be up for coffee now…

AH - I love your enthusiasm but it’s 1:13am and I’m flying out in a few hours to do a pre-
execution interview with an unsub we apprehended a few years ago.

AH - Sorry.

SR - That’s okay. Do I need to let you get to bed?

AH - As much as I want to keep talking to you tonight, I probably should get some sleep. I
should be back tomorrow. What time do you finish work? Coffee afterwards?

SR - My finish time is pretty flexible as long as I’ve finished my work. I can be off anytime
from 3pm onwards.
AH - 3:30 at the coffee shop with the infamous pie work for you? If of course I don't get a
case.

SR - That’s fine, but will you not need to pick up your son?

AH - His mother’s family are having a reunion up in Washington so he’s heading up there
with his aunt. I wasn’t too happy about pulling him out of school for two days this week and
all of next week but in the end I decided it was more important for him to spend time with that
side of his family.

SR - Okay, well I’ll see you then. And that pie had better be as good as you say it is,
otherwise I shall be terribly disappointed.

AH - The pie won’t disappoint, I can guarantee it. I just hope the company lives up to
expectations.

SR - I’m pretty sure that won’t be an issue. It’s already exceeded all the ones I had.

SR - ;-)

AH - I thought it was me supposed to be making you blush, not the other way around.

SR - I don’t think I’ve ever been the cause of a blush before.

SR - Now I’m getting distracted by picturing what it looks like.

AH - If you say such nice things tomorrow, you’ll probably get to see it for yourself.

SR - I'll start thinking up nice things to say then. Not that that will be hard. I have lots of
inspiration.

AH - I don’t think I’ve ever been the cause of inspiration before.

SR - Weren’t you supposed to be going to bed?

AH - I was, wasn’t I? I guess it’s harder to say goodnight than I thought.

SR - I know. Why do you think I’ve not said it either?

AH - Is this the modern day version of ‘No, you hang up first?’

SR - It appears so.

AH - I guess I’ll rip the bandaid off first then - goodnight, Spencer.

SR - Ow :(

SR - Kidding. Goodnight, Aaron.

AH - I’m rather good at kissing owies better…

SR - Go to sleep, Aaron!

AH - :-*

*****

“You look like the cat that’s got the cream,” Ethan said, smacking him lightly on the back of
his head. “What’s gotten into you? You were smiling all day yesterday, and I didn't think it
possible but you’re even chirpier today.”

Spencer grinned. “I guess you get to say ‘I told you so’.”

“I usually get to say that because I’m always right, so you’ll just need to remind me of the
reason for it this time.” Ethan perched himself on the side of Spencer’s desk.

“Aaron and I were texting the other night.”

“Aaron? That’s Hotch, yeah?”

“Yes. And well... hekindoftoldmehelikedme! ” It was the first time he’d said it out loud and he
couldn’t hold back the excitement.

“Seriously? Way to go, Spence!” Ethan held up a hand for a high five. “See, I told you he
was interested.”

“Normally I’d be irked by how much you’re going to rub it in, but I’m so happy that today I
don’t care!”

Ethan laughed. “So are you guys going on a date at all?”

He nodded. “We’re going for coffee this afternoon after I finish up. Which means I have to
get to work. Shoo! Go away!” He pushed at Ethan’s hip to move him from his workspace and
then turned on his laptop. His usual reluctance to use the computer was tempered today by
his excitement and he happily got on with his work. Their equipment was ancient so he had
to make sure the laptop was plugged into a charger at all times and as it wasn’t set up for
WiFi he also used a data cable, but even those things that normally drove him to rant to
anyone who would listen didn't phase him.

An hour and a half later, the laptop screen flashed with a connection error and then froze. He
groaned, and heard a matching groan come from Maeve.

“Are you frozen too?” he asked, although he was already sure of the answer.

“Yes,” Maeve whined as she pressed madly at the keyboard.

“I am too,” Nancy said.

“Same,” Ethan chimed in.

“You know what the server is like. It’ll take fifteen minutes and then it’ll come back up to the
last save point.” Nancy relaxed back in her chair, and pulled out her phone. “May as well
enjoy the break.”

“Oh. Oh dear,” Maeve cried.

“Shit,” Spencer added.

“Are you two noobs telling me you didn't save your fucking work?” Nancy demanded.

“Maybe?” Maeve shrunk back from the glare her co-worker was giving her.

“How many damn times do I have to tell you two? It’s computing fucking 101!”

“Maybe they’ll finally learn their lesson this time?” Ethan told her lazily. He was scrolling
through his own phone and didn't seem bothered at all.

“Shit, shit, shit. What am I going to do?” Maeve looked wildly at Spencer, hoping to gain
sympathy from the person who shared her plight.

“Toby knows how to recover unsaved work. There’s some trick he does, no idea how, but
he’s done it for me before.” Spencer started unplugging his laptop so he could take it to the
IT office. “I’m sure he can do the same for you if you go see him.”

“Urgh, do I have to?” Maeve whined. “Can’t you take mine with you when you go?”

“He’ll need you to log on and tell him exactly what you were working on.”

“Reid, you know I hate going down there. Are you sure you can’t take it? Please?”

He snapped. “Dammit, Maeve, no! If you want his help then have the decency to ask for it. If
you won’t, then you can fix it yourself.”

“I’ll have a look at it when the server comes back online,” Ethan told her. “I’m not mean
enough to make you go and visit Twitchy Toby’s cave.”

Spencer didn’t bother to respond as he walked down the hall to Toby’s office. He was in a
good mood today and he wasn’t going to let their pettiness, or a little computer issue ruin
that.

“Knock, knock!” he said from the doorway.

“Hi, Reid. What’s up?” Toby had dark rings under his eyes and looked exhausted.

“Um, I hate to bother you, but my laptop has frozen and…”

“You didn't save your work again?”

Spencer winced. “Am I that predictable?” He handed over the laptop. “I’m really sorry. I
know that my forgetfulness is now causing you more work. I’ll make sure to get you a muffin
as well as coffee next time.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Toby told him, somewhat distractedly. He kept sneaking glances
at the clock and the doorway as he rebooted the laptop.

Spencer sat quietly while Tobias worked, or so he’d thought. “You seem to be in a good
mood today in spite of this,” Toby said, gesturing at the computer.

“Oh, do I?”

“You’re humming.”

“Sorry! I’m not distracting you, am I?”

“No, it’s okay.”

“Well, I am happy. I have a date this afternoon!”

Toby managed a small smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. “I hope it goes well.”

“Same here. He’s such a great guy and I don't want to stuff it up. I just hope today passes
quickly.”

“I’m sure it will, though it might not feel like it. Reid, I have to go and get something from
the server room. I need you to stay here and log back in once this comes back online.” His
face still had the distracted look to it.

“Sure.”

“Promise me, you’ll stay here?”

“Yeah, of course, Toby. As soon as it’s up, I’ll log in.”

Toby stood, and picked up a black duffle bag. He paused at the door. “You’ve always been
kind to me. Thank you.”

“You don't have to thank me, Toby. You’re my friend.”

“Goodbye, Spencer.”

Toby left the room, and Spencer picked up a pen and started twirling it around his fingers as
he waited for the login screen to appear. Toby’s mood was even more somber than usual and
he decided that he would see if he wanted to hang out on Sunday. It definitely seemed like he
could use a distraction.

The login screen appeared but before Spencer could enter his password, he heard a gunshot
and then someone screamed.
 Chapter 6
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

It must be basic human instinct to duck and hide when gunshots are heard. Spencer had never
been around guns before - his only experience was what he’d been exposed to from
television, but he automatically recognised the noise and he hit the floor. He shuffled up
behind Toby’s desk and flinched as he heard another two shots. The screaming stopped. In
the sudden silence, he recognised the screams as belonging to Nancy. He’d never heard her
scream before, not properly. Oh, she’d yelled a lot, and ranted, but never actually screamed
so why was he so sure it had been hers? A thought flickered through his mind to look up later
if any research had been done into voice recognition whilst under duress, but another shot
rang out and his mind went blank.

He wasn’t too sure how long he sat there, frozen. There were no more screams, but he
thought he could hear sobbing. An alarm started to sound in the distance, and his ears popped
slightly. He remembered during their emergency drills feeling the same sensation when the
building went into lockdown and the air pressure from the air-conditioning equalised.

There was another gunshot and Spencer realised they were now locked in the building with
whomever was firing the gun. He recalled the black duffel bag Toby had picked up and he
was fairly certain he knew who it was.

Time passed, and he stayed crouched behind the desk. His legs began to cramp and he tried to
stretch out as much as he could to relieve his muscles. He was desperate to know what was
going on outside; to know where his co-workers were; to know if Ethan was okay, but he
remained frozen.

More time passed, but he couldn’t fathom how much. Didn't people say things like ‘It
happened so quickly?’ when they spoke of such situations? It felt like he’d been hiding
behind the desk for at least a week. Forcing himself to move, he reached up and pulled the
laptop from the desk and woke the screen. The clock showed he’d been frozen in his hiding
spot for almost an hour. Did this mean it was over? Would someone come and find him? How
would he know it was safe?

There came the sound of more gunshots, but they were further away, and if he had to guess,
Spencer would say they came from the offices behind the chem labs. That would mean that
their office would be safe for now, wouldn’t it? He crawled over to the door and peeked down
the short hallway that led to the large office with their desks. It was empty, and the door to
the small kitchen on the left lay open. The doors to the server room, storeroom, and
bathrooms were closed. Spencer held his breath and listened intently, but he couldn’t hear
anything other than the distant wailing of the alarm.

Taking a gamble, he moved into a crouch and shuffled down the hall. He poked his head
around the doorway at the end and glanced about the office. He couldn’t see anyone from his
low vantage point. The door to the main corridor was open, but there was no movement
outside. He thought about making a run for it - their office was the first one along the main
corridor, but even if he made it to the main doors of the building, they would be locked.
Besides, he needed to check and see if Ethan and the girls were still somewhere in the room.

He dropped back down to his knees and crawled around the filing cabinet to the left, heading
for the closest desks. He drew in a quick breath when he saw a foot poking out from behind
the first desk, and he hurried over. He found Nancy’s lifeless body fallen into a crumpled
heap between the desk and her chair. He rolled her over as best he could and saw her blouse
stained red with blood. He gagged and took a moment to control his heaving stomach.

Looking around he saw a shape behind the second desk and he moved towards it. It was
Maeve and she was just as lifeless as Nancy. There was a gunshot wound to her temple, and a
trickle of blood had rolled down her forehead and into one of her open eyes. Spencer choked
back a sob as reality started to push its way through the shock.

There was a low moan from across the room and Spencer scurried towards it. Ethan was
curled under his desk, and when Spencer shook his shoulder, he moaned again.

“Oh, thank God. Ethan? Ethan, can you hear me?”

He moaned again and Spencer tried to manhandle him out from under the furniture so he
could see where he was hurt. It took quite a bit of maneuvering, but he managed to pull him
far enough out that he could roll Ethan onto his back. A patch of blood had bloomed over the
left of his stomach, and Spencer pulled off his sweater and balled it up against the wound.

“Ethan, it’s going to be okay. I’m sure help is on the way.”

“Spence?” Ethan’s voice was scratchy, and he swallowed with some difficulty. “It hurts.”

“I know, but we’ve just got to stay here for a little bit longer, okay? Just until help comes.”

There was a noise from the corridor outside and Spencer froze. He shushed Ethan and
scrambled from his position to behind one of the bookcases next to the doorway. He looked
around but couldn’t see anything that he could use as a weapon, so he grabbed a heavy book
from the shelf and held it up above his head, ready to strike. If someone was coming back to
finish off Ethan, he’d make sure they’d go down.

He heard something scuffle quietly on the linoleum outside the door and he braced himself as
someone moved into the room. He didn't even get a chance to swing the book before he
found himself thrown against the wall and a gun was pointed in his face.

“Stand down, stand down!” A voice from the doorway whispered loudly. The gun was
lowered, and Spencer found himself face to helmet with a SWAT member.

“Spencer?”

His eyes were drawn beyond the heavily armed man and he realised that Aaron was the one
who had told the man to stand down. Other SWAT team members were fanning into the
room, and Spencer also saw Rossi moving towards Ethan. He saw more people moving past
the doorway and down the corridor. The man in front of him stepped away, and Hotch took
his place.

“Spencer, are you okay?” he asked quietly, cupping Spencer’s chin and drawing his gaze. He
was wearing a bulletproof vest over his long sleeved business shirt and Spencer found
himself thinking about how damn sexy he looked.

“I’m not sure,” he replied quietly. “My brain seems to have stopped functioning properly.”

“Shock can make your brain a bit fuzzy,” Hotch told him gently. “It’s nothing to worry
about.”

“It’s not fuzzy - my thoughts are very clear. They’re just not very appropriate.”

Hotch raised an eyebrow but didn't reply.

“All I seem to be able to think is that I’m really happy to see you. And not happy as in ‘Yay
the cavalry has arrived’ but as in ‘Wow, Aaron looks hot.”

Hotch grinned and moved his hand to squeeze Spencer’s shoulder lightly. “Let’s save those
thoughts for later. Do you have any idea what’s happening?”

“I think it’s Toby. I was talking to him in his office and he made me promise to stay there and
he left and then not long after I heard the first gunshots.”

“Toby? The man you were telling me about the other day?”

Spencer looked over to where his co-workers lay dead and he felt his eyes well over. “They
were so mean to him but they didn't deserve to die.”

“I know. But this information is really helpful, Spencer. I can use that to talk to him - to try
and talk him down. If all goes well no one else will need to get hurt today, including Toby.”

“I don't know where he’s gone now.”

“He’s at the other end of the building, holed up in one of the offices. He has hostages.”

Spencer squeezed his eyes shut. “This isn’t happening. It can’t be happening.”

“Aaron, we need to get down there,” Rossi said, coming up beside them. “We’re going to
need you.”

“Is Ethan still…?” Spencer couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence.

Rossi nodded. “Yeah, kid, he’s still alive. I’ve got medics coming in now.”

“I’ve got to go,” Aaron told Spencer. “But I’ll be back as soon as I can. They’ll move out the
injured but I need you to stay here with one of the SWAT team until this is over. We can’t risk
people moving about until we’ve got it under control.”
Spencer nodded. “Be safe,”

“Of course. I’ve got a date this afternoon I’m hoping to be able to keep.” He touched
Spencer’s cheek briefly and then he and Rossi were moving out of the room, heading towards
the danger.

Spencer was ushered into the small kitchen, away from not only harm’s way, but also from
the view of the bodies of Maeve and Nancy. He sat at the table with his head cradled in his
arms, trying not to think, but of course his brain betrayed him. All he could do was think -
about how suddenly the day had gone wrong, about what he could have done to stop this
from ever happening, what if he’d been more forceful with the others to stop them from
being so cruel. And he thought about Aaron - about how he was putting himself directly in
the line of danger but he would do everything he could to ensure that Toby walked out of
here alive. He was such a good man and Spencer found himself hoping against hope that he
leave today unharmed. There was nothing he wanted more than to be able to sit down with
Aaron and have the coffee that he’d been promised and to be able to see the look in his eyes
when he said the things he was so easily able to text.

Time had slowed again, but Spencer paid it no mind. He heard voices outside getting closer
and he recognised them as Hotch and Morgan. He sat up straight, focusing on the doorway
and the SWAT member stepped outside as they approached. The closer they got the clearer it
became that they were arguing.

“Morgan, he’s not trained and he’s already had enough stress for today. I don’t want to ask
him to do this.”

“Hotch, I know Reid. He’s stronger than you think and he’ll want to help. You know it’s what
needs to be done, and I don't know why you’re hesitating. You’ve asked more of civilians
before.”

“This is different.”

“It’s not, and you know it. What’s got into... oh, I see.” Morgan’s voice dropped but they
were close enough now that Spencer could still hear. “Are you compromised by your
personal feelings? Do you need Rossi or I to take over?”

“He’s your best friend, Morgan. If anyone is compromised, it’d be you.”

“I’m not the one who has less than platonic feelings for him.”

“I can keep that separate.”

“Can you?”

“Give me some credit, Morgan. I’ve been doing this a long time.”

“So you’ll ask Reid?”

“Of course I will. I might not like it, but I know I have no choice.”
“I’m not sure if you’re aware or not,” Spencer said loudly, “but I’m right here and can hear
everything you’re saying.”

There was an embarrassed silence from the hallway and then Morgan and Hotch entered the
kitchen.

“Hi there.” Spencer gave a small wave.

“Reid,” Morgan greeted him. “How you doing?”

“I’ve had better days.” He looked between the two of them. “I’m assuming whatever you
need to ask me is important, otherwise you would still be out there and not in here.”

Morgan pulled out a chair and sat down. “Hankel has four hostages and isn’t responding to
our negotiations. He’s asking to speak to you.”

“He said I was the only one who was ever kind to him,” he told them sadly.

“After everything you’ve been through today, it’s a lot to ask,” Hotch told him. “We don’t ask
you lightly, but Morgan is right - this could be our only hope to get those people and Toby out
of here alive.”

Spencer nodded. “Of course. What do you need me to do?”

Morgan threw Hotch a look that clearly said ‘I told you so’, which he chose to ignore. “I’ll
take you down there and the main thing I need you to do is keep him calm. If he’s not as
agitated, he’ll be more likely to listen to us, and less likely to shoot anyone else. Just be
yourself with him. He obviously trusts you.”

“You got this, kid. I know you do,” Morgan told him.

Spencer stood, and tried to ignore his shaking knees. Morgan left to tell the team what was
happening and Hotch helped Spencer into a vest.

“You’re very brave, doing this,” Hotch said as he tightened the straps.

“No, I’m not. I sat frozen behind a desk for almost an hour while he killed my friends. You’re
the one who ran towards the gunshots. It’s clear I’m not the brave one.”

Hotch took Spencer’s face between his hands again. “Courage shows itself in many ways.
Trust me, not everyone could do what you’re about to do.”

“I haven’t done it yet.”

“I guess we’d best get to it then.” Hotch pressed a kiss to his temple and brushed away a lock
of hair that had fallen into his eyes. “I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

“Thank you, Aaron.”

They made their way down the main corridor, past the labs, towards the back of the building.
A group of people were waiting several feet down from the last doorway, including Morgan.
Spencer recognised the people standing with him as the rest of the team. JJ offered Spencer a
small smile as they approached.

“Anything changed?” Hotch asked his team.

Emily shook her head. “He’s still asking for Reid. Other than that, it’s been pretty quiet.”

“Okay, let’s head in.” He removed his gun from his belt and handed it to Rossi. Dave didn't
look too happy about it, but Spencer guessed Toby would only allow Aaron in to talk if he
was unarmed. “Toby?” Hotch called from next to the doorway. “It’s Agent Hotchner again. I
have Spencer Reid with me like you asked.”

There was a pause and then they heard Toby call out “Are you unarmed?”

“Yes.”

“Then you and Reid can come in. But no one else!”

Hotch nodded to Spencer and led him into the room. Toby was standing in the middle of the
room, looking disheveled, but the hand holding his gun was steady. His hair was a mess, like
he’d been running his hands through it, and there was a smudge of blood on his cheek.
Spencer couldn’t tell if it belonged to Toby or not, however he didn't seem to be injured.
Three men and one woman were seated on the floor in the far left corner, they’re hands tied
with string. Near them lay the body of a young woman, dressed in a white lab coat.

“Toby,” Spencer said, trying to keep his voice even and the horror he felt at his friend’s
actions out of it.

“Thank you for coming,” Toby said.

“Of course. You know I’ll do whatever I can for you.”

“Toby, I brought you Spencer, like you asked, “Hotch said. “Will you consider letting the
hostages go?”

Toby jerked at the sound of Hotch’s voice, and his eye flickered across the room to the people
he had tied up there. “I won’t hurt them, so why should they go?”

“Because you’ve already hurt others today and I want to make sure these people are safe.”

Toby wiped at his face with his hand, and squeezed his eyes shut. “I didn’t mean to hurt
them. I didn’t. I just wanted to make them stop. Just stop. That’s all.”

“Toby, I’m here now. I can help make it stop,” Spencer told him. “We don’t need to keep
these people here now.”

“How can you make it better?” he demanded. He rubbed at his face again, this time with the
hand holding the gun. His eyes were wild, and Spencer recognised that Toby was suffering
from a major mental breakdown.

“I can make it better,” he told him. “I promise. How about we just let these people go, and
then you and I can talk.” He glanced at Hotch who gave him a small nod. Spencer took a step
toward Toby, his hands held out in front of him in a gesture of peace. “Can we just talk,
Toby?”

“I don’t want to talk, I just want to make it stop!” Toby yelled. Spencer flinched, and then his
eyes widened. Toby’s stance changed - he stood straighter, his head raised, and his eyes
seemed to clear. “The sinners have been punished for their crimes. But there are more who
must answer for what they have done. The Lord is not pleased and I am here to carry out his
wishes.”

“Toby?”

“Toby is not here. I am Rafael and I have come to rid the earth of the sinners. I will force
their confessions and cleanse their souls.”

Spencer felt a hand on his arm, and very slowly Hotch moved so that he was in front of him.
“If they confess, will you spare them?” Hotch asked.

“Those who confess will find redemption, but only the Lord can know what form that will
take.” His head dropped, and then he looked up, his eyes once more clouded and confused. “I
just want it to stop,” Toby whispered, his voice back to normal.

“Toby?”

“Reid, what should I do? Tell me what I should do.” Toby choked on a sob.

“You need to let these people go. I promise to stay with you, but they need to leave.”

Toby nodded. “Yes. They need to leave before Rafael returns.”

Hotch crossed the room and helped the hostages to their feet. They hurried across the room as
Toby began to pace erratically, muttering under his breath. Spencer looked towards the door
and saw Morgan slip into the room during the confusion of the hostages running into the
corridor. Toby didn't notice as Morgan kept low and made his way around the edge of the
room so he wouldn’t be visible behind Hotch and Spencer.

“Thank you, Toby. For keeping them safe,” Spencer told him once the room was clear.

“Will they be safe? Can anyone truly be safe from the wrath of Rafael? Not safe, we’re not
safe, not till it stops, it needs to stop. Reid, make it stop, please.”

“I need to know what you want me to stop.”

“Please, it needs to stop, I can’t make it, it goes on and on and it’s always there and I need it
to stop. Please, please stop. Just stop,” Toby rambled. He clutched at his head, and as he did
so Morgan began to move slowly forward.
 “Spencer, you should probably go,” Hotch murmured. “I don't know if you can help him
anymore.”

Toby’s head snapped up and he glared at Hotch. “Reid, don't listen to him! He’s a bully, he
wants to make you do things you don't want to do. He’s just like everyone else who treated us
badly. Don’t let him win, Reid.”

“No, Toby, no. He’s not like that. This is Aaron, and he’s my friend.”

“He’s a bully! He’s going to make it go on and never stop. He will, he won’t be able to help
it, and he’ll keep them here and it will never end.” Toby was shouting now, and he raised the
gun to point it at Hotch. “It’s never going to end, unless we stop them. They kept us down
and made us meek but we can stop them, we can make it stop!”

“Toby, please, listen to me. Aaron is my friend, and I don’t want you to hurt him. Please, put
the gun down.”

“No, he needs to be stopped. It has to stop, it has to!”

Spencer didn't even think. He saw Toby’s finger twitch as he pulled the trigger and he dove in
front of Hotch. As he moved through the air, he saw Morgan fire and Toby began to fall. His
world exploded into pain and Spencer hit the floor, just as Toby’s lifeless body did.

Chapter End Notes

I was worried that Spencer would come across as a little of a coward in this chapter, but
I really didn't mean him to. Obviously in this AU he isn't an agent and hasn't had the sort
of training he'd had in the show. I wanted to portray those very human thoughts and
feelings that go through your head when you're stuck in a terrifying situation.
 Chapter 7
Chapter Summary

In the aftermath of the shooting, will our boys have to postpone their date?

“Spencer!” Hotch cried, moving to kneel by his side.

“Aaron?” he asked as he was rolled onto his back. “It hurts.”

He felt Hotch’s gentle hands on him, and at the same time a fiery sensation burned through
his left arm.

“Reid!” Morgan had checked Toby for signs of life and had then run to his friend.

“He took the bullet in his upper arm,” Hotch told him. “It’s a straight through and through.”

“Did it hit the bone?”

“I don’t think so, but we’ll have to wait for him to be examined before we know for sure.”
Hotch wiped hair from Spencer’s forehead. “What did you do that for?” he asked gently.

“For crying out loud, Reid, what the fuck were you thinking?” Morgan yelled.

“He was going to shoot Aaron. I couldn’t let that happen.”

“Do you want me to list the reasons why that was the stupidest thing you’ve ever fucking
done?” He didn't wait for a response before continuing to rant.

“Hotch is wearing a vest, he’s trained for this sort of thing, and I was right there. There was
no need to put yourself in danger.

Spencer shook his head. “You’re wrong. If I hadn’t have jumped, the trajectory of the bullet
would have taken it through Aaron’s neck. The vest wouldn’t have saved him.”

“You don’t know that, Reid. You shouldn’t have taken that risk.” Morgan shook his head. “I
can’t believe you could be so damn stupid!”

“Morgan!” Hotch snapped. “That’s enough.” He touched Spencer’s cheek. “Morgan’s going
to stay with you while you go to the hospital.”

“I don't want to leave you,” Spencer moaned.

“I know,” he said with a smile. “But I have to get things tied up here. He’ll take care of you,
okay?”
“I wanted to have coffee.”

“Are you sure? Because you deliberately stepped in front of a loaded gun and then took a
bullet. I’m almost inclined to think that was to get out of our date.”

Spencer glared at the cheeky grin on Hotch’s face. “Morgan’s right. You’re not at all funny.”

“Morgan doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“I’m right here,” Morgan said.

“Didn’t stop you earlier,” Spencer told him.

“Take care of him,” Hotch told his subordinate. He gave Spencer’s hair one last pat and then
he left the room as the medics rushed in.

Morgan gave Spencer a hard look. “I don’t care what Hotch says - as soon as you’ve been
patched up, we’re going to be having words.

Spencer winced. “Yes, Sir.”

*****

Despite his ominous warning, Morgan failed to berate Spencer once his wound had been
tended. He helped him out of the emergency department and into his car, and then he drove
him home. Once there he pottered around after Spencer, making sure he had everything he
could need, and was comfortable. He piled cushions onto one end of the couch and fetched a
throw rug so Spencer could rest. He made tea, and heated up some soup, and made sure that
there was plenty of reading material available. Spencer knew that Morgan was going
overboard because he felt somewhat responsible for the situation. Hotch had been concerned
about sending him in, but Morgan had argued that it would be fine. Even though it wasn’t his
fault, he still obviously felt the need to make it up to Spencer.

The coddling finally got to be too much for him and after thanking him for all the help, he
sent Morgan home. After awkwardly washing his face, he fidgeted around on the couch until
he got comfortable, and then closed his eyes. A nap seemed to be in order.

A knocking at his door startled him just as he began to drift off, and Spencer swore under his
breath as he clambered off the couch. “I swear to God, Morgan, I don't need you being a
mother hen,” he stated as he opened the door. “I’m fin-” He stopped mid sentence as he saw
Hotch standing in the hall. “Oh. Hi.”

“Hi.” Hotch held up a paper bag and two takeaway cups. “I bought pie and coffee. I figured
since you needed to rest it would be better to bring our date to you.” He had gotten changed
since leaving work, and was wearing a dark blue pullover and jeans.

Spencer grinned. “That’s the best thing I’ve heard all day. Come in.” He stood back to allow
Hotch in, then led the way to the small kitchen. “How did you know where I live?” he asked
as he pulled out some plates.
“Obviously I would never violate protocol and use the FBI database to look up your
information,” Hotch assured him with a wink. “I overheard Morgan giving your address to
the agent collecting your details for our report. I may not have an eidetic memory, but it was
easy enough to remember.”

Spencer served up a slice of pie onto each plate and fished out some forks. “That seems a fine
line to walk.”

“Are you going to report me?”

“I’ll have to think about it. I guess it all depends on how good the pie is.”

Hotch picked up the plates and they moved to the couch. “So my fate rests with the flakey
crust and baked berries of this slightly squished pie?”

“It would seem that way.” Spencer raised a forkful of the pie to his mouth, and groaned
almost orgasmically. “Holy heck, this is really good pie.”

“I can’t believe you ever doubted me,” Hotch said, taking his own bite.

“It was a pretty outlandish claim, you have to admit.” Spencer waved his fork at Hotch.
“How was I to know you were being serious?”

“One thing you will learn about me, Doctor Reid - when it comes to pie, I am always
serious.”

They broke into grins and continued to eat through a comfortable silence. It didn't take long
for their plates to be cleaned of every last crumb, and they sat back and sipped their coffees.
“How’s Ethan doing?”

“He was getting out of surgery as I was being discharged, but they seem to think he’ll make a
full recovery. He should be out in a few days if there’s no complications.”

“I’m happy to hear that.” Hotch reached over and placed a finger on the bandage wrapped
around Spencer’s left bicep. “How’s the arm feeling?”

“Sore, but I’ve been told if it had hit the bone it would hurt a hell of a lot more.”

“My heart almost stopped when you moved in front of me,” Hotch admitted in a quiet voice.
His dark eyes lingered on the bandage, not meeting the warm hazel ones of Spencer.

“I’m sorry I scared you.”

“I’m sorry I put you in that situation.”

“Aaron, it wasn’t your fault. You could never have known what would happen, what Toby
would do…” Spencer felt his voice catch and he turned away, knowing his eyes would brim
over any minute.

“I’m so sorry it ended that way. Morgan had no choice.”

“I know. I’m not upset at Morgan.” He turned back to Hotch and this time his gaze was met.
“I just don't understand why Toby would do that. I mean, I do understand to some extent. I’ve
been in the situation where I’ve been bullied to the point of breaking, but why did he resort to
such violence?”

“He was obviously suffering from Dissociative Identity Disorder. You can’t always predict
how people experiencing a severe mental break will react.”

“That’s something I understand all too clearly,” Spencer whispered. He ignored the question
in Hotch’s eyes at his statement and leaned forward to place his empty cup on the coffee
table. He gasped as he felt his stitches pull.

“Careful,” Hotch said, reaching out to take the cup from his hands and put it down.

“I just keep forgetting how sore it is.”

“You have to take care of yourself if you’re going to get better. Is there anything I can do for
you?”

Spencer bit his lip, suddenly coy. “Well, I’ve been told that you have some skill with kissing
owies better…”

Hotch smiled and scooted closer on the couch. He raised a warm hand and lay it against
Spencer’s cheek. “You heard correctly.”

“How does one go about getting a referral for your service?” Spencer leaned forward so their
foreheads were touching. He could feel Hotch’s breath on his cheek, and his own breath came
in short gasps.

“It’s a very exclusive service,” Hotch murmured. “You have to be very, very special to get
seen.”

Spencer looked up at his from below thick lashes. “What if I ask really nicely?”

“That ought to do it.” Hotch leaned forward the fraction of an inch that still separated them
and their lips met. The kiss was soft and gentle, almost chaste. Spencer heard himself moan
and he pressed even closer. Hotch took advantage of the moan to slip his tongue between his
lips, and Spencer tasted coffee and pie as their tongues lazily danced together. He pressed a
hand against Hotch’s chest, and felt an arm wrap around his waist and rest against the small
of his back.

They broke apart a few moments later, and Spencer fought but lost the urge to keep the smile
off his face.

“Feel better?” Hotch asked.

“Maybe a little. I might require a few more sessions though.”

“Am I to assume I’m not as talented as I thought?”

“Oh, no, you’re very good at it. It’s just this owie is quite big and needs special care.”

Hotch smiled and ran a finger down Spencer’s cheek and along his jaw. “I won’t take it
personally then.” He leaned forward and captured Spencer in another kiss.

“You know,” Spencer said, between kisses. “This day did not pan out the way I thought it
would.”

Hotch leaned back a little so Spencer could see him quirk his eyebrow. “You have had a
pretty rough day.”

“It has been rough. And I know it’s probably going to hit me later, but for now, I’m feeling
pretty good.”

Hotch’s look turned to one of concern. “I must admit, I’m worried about that. Once you’ve
had time to process everything, it’s probably going to hit you like a tonne of bricks.”

Spencer sighed and leaned back. “I know. But for now I just want to try and not think about
it. I don’t want to close my eyes and see the faces of my dead friends. I guess I just want a
distraction.”

Hotch took his hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’m happy to be your distraction.”

“I know,” Spencer said.

“But?”

“But...I don’t want that to be all this is. I don’t want you thinking that’s all I want you for.”

“Spencer, I thought we’d gone over this already? We’ve both made it pretty clear that we’re
interested in one another; that we care for one another.” Hotch rubbed his thumb in circles
along the back of Spencer’s hand. “This might not be the most ideal way to start a
relationship, but it’s the situation we’re in so we may as well face it.”

“You really want to have a proper relationship with me?”

“Of course I do, silly. For a genius, you can be a bit daft.” He smiled as he said it so Spencer
knew he was joking.

“I suppose there’s a few things you should know about me, before we jump into it then…”

Hotch leaned forward and brushed a kiss against his lips, and then pulled him against him.
Spencer arranged himself so he was comfortably resting against his chest, and there was no
pressure on his wound. Hotch dipped his head so his cheek was nestled into his curls. “You
can tell me anything you want,” Hotch murmured. “Just know that no matter what you tell
me, I’m not going to get scared off.”

“I guess the main thing you need to be aware of is that I’ve never been in a relationship
before. Not a proper one, anyway. This will be totally new to me and I don’t really know
what’s expected of me.”
“I just expect you to be yourself,” Hotch said. He was trailing his fingers up and down
Spencer’s uninjured arm and he found his eyes fluttering closed at the sensation. “The thing
you need to understand is that no two relationships are alike, so it doesn’t matter how many
you’ve had, you never quite know what to expect from the one you’re currently in. I was with
Hayley most of my life, and since then I’ve not been in a serious relationship. So if you want
to keep score, I’m only one up on you.”

“The other thing is, well…” He trailed off, not quite knowing how to proceed.

“What’s wrong? What’s causing that frown and your loss of words?” He pressed a finger to
Spencer’s bottom lip.

“I’m trying to figure out how to tell you about my...experience, but I’m aware that it’s not
usually acceptable to discuss previous sexual endeavours with your current partner.”

He felt Hotch’s mouth turn up into a smile. “I guess it’s generally not. But this seems
important to you so how about we make an exception this one time?”

Spencer pulled his head back from his chest so he could look up at Hotch. “Are you laughing
at me?”

“No?” The slight shaking of his body betrayed the lie.

“You’re well on your way to an ass whooping, Mister.” Spencer dropped his head back to
where it had been resting on his chest.

“I’m sorry. I didn't mean to laugh. You were just being slightly adorable, and I couldn’t help
myself.” Spencer felt Hotch’s lips press against his hair. “What were you wanting to tell me?”

“I’m not a virgin, but I’ve only ever had one sexual experience. Due to my - contact aversion
I guess you could call it - I’d never really felt comfortable enough around other people to
ever act on an attraction. A friend of mine offered to be my first and since I trusted him I took
him up on the offer, but I had to get drunk to do it.” He paused, and realised he had been
stroking his hand up and down Hotch’s chest. He let out a soft laugh. “This is really blowing
my mind. I can honestly tell you I’ve never touched someone so much, so casually before. By
all rights I should be having an anxiety attack right now.”

“You have no idea the affect it has on me to hear that I make you comfortable enough to do
this.”

“I guess I just want to warn you that this is really new territory for me. I’m not just saying I
have an anxiety disorder for dramatic effect - there’s a real possibility that I could have an
attack at any moment. I just don’t want to upset you.”

“Duly noted. I promise to not take it personally. Just tell me what I can do it help you through
it if it happens.”

Spencer pulled himself into a sitting position. “It might be the residual shock from today, but
I’m really wondering how I got so lucky with you. By all rights you should have run
screaming from me as fast as your legs could take you.”

“We’re getting back to the whole ‘you don't see yourself as others see you’ thing. You are
worth it, Spencer. You have no idea how much I want to be with you.” Hotch leaned in and
captured his mouth in a kiss, which deepened quickly. Just as he’d gotten to the point of
making Spencer breathless, he pulled back. “You need to understand that I’m not going
anywhere.” It came out in a low growl and the sound sent shivers through Spencer’s body.
His pants were getting uncomfortably tight.

“I can live with that.”

“Good, because if you try to run, I’ll catch you.”

Spencer laughed. “I do not doubt that.”

Hotch glanced over at the clock. “It’s almost seven. Can I get you some dinner?”

“Agent Hotchner, I never would have taken you for someone who broke the rules." Hotch
looked confused and Spencer grinned. “Are you suggesting we have dinner after we’ve
already had dessert?”

He seemed to consider this. “I suppose I am.”

“Rebel.”

“Are you going to report this as well?” Hotch’s eyes sparkled with mirth.

“Considering the pie was even better than you said it would be, and the high level of care
you’ve given my owie, I think I can let this slide.”

“You’re too kind, Doctor Reid.”

Spencer gathered up the takeout menus he had and they decided on a curry from the local
Indian restaurant. Hotch picked up his keys and wallet to go and pick up their food, but
hesitated at the door.

“What’s wrong?”

Hotch crossed back to the couch and knelt in front of Spencer. “I was thinking - I have a go
bag in my car, and I don’t think you should be alone tonight. I don’t want to rush this, and I
don’t want you to think that me staying the night would mean we’d have to take this any
further than you’re ready to. I’m happy to camp on the couch. But I really don’t want to leave
you alone.”

Spencer nodded. “I’d really like if you stayed. I don’t think I’m ready to take us physically to
the next level yet, but I still want you here.”

He pressed a soft kiss to Spencer’s lips. “As I said, we only do what you’re comfortable with.
I’ll bring my bag up with me when I get back.”
Spencer nodded, and watched as Hotch left. Once he was sure that he would be out of
earshot, he picked up one of the couch cushions and squealed into it. “I can’t believe this is
really happening!”. He felt buoyant with happiness, and even though he could feel a deep
sadness underneath it all because of the day’s events, he pushed it further down and tried to
keep afloat on his excitement.
 Chapter 8
Chapter Summary

Hotch has a sleepover.

“I think it’s time I got you to bed,” Hotch murmured as Spencer’s mouth gaped open in
another yawn. They were lying entwined together on the couch, with Spencer’s head resting
yet again on Hotch’s chest.

“Mmmm, ‘spose so.”

“Where do you keep the spare blankets?”

He shook his head and squeezed him tightly. “I want you to come sleep with me.”

“Spencer, are you sure?”

“I’ll sleep better with you there.”

Hotch held his gaze for a moment and then nodded. They climbed up from the couch and
quickly went about their own nightly rituals, and got changed into pyjamas. “Can you give
me a hand?” Spencer asked, starting to pull up his tshirt. “I can’t sleep in a top because I get
all tangled,” he explained when he saw the raised eyebrow.

Hotch nodded and helped pull the shirt over the bandage on Spencer’s arm. His eyes trailed
down the pale skin in front of him and he swallowed a little louder than normal. Spencer
blushed and wrapped his good arm around his stomach.

“You don’t need to feel self conscious,” Hotch told him, moving the arm back to his side and
trailing a fingertip down the soft skin of Spencer’s chest and stomach. “You’re perfect.”

“You said that I was going to see you blush, but I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who has
been glowing red like a forge all night.”

Hotch grinned. “Maybe you haven’t said enough nice things to me yet.”

“Keep that up and you won’t hear any nice things!”

“Come on, let’s go to bed,” Hotch said with a chuckle. They climbed into bed and Spencer
lay half on his tummy with his leg thrown over Hotch’s, and nestled his head into the space
just below his collarbone. He hummed in contentment as he felt fingers running up and down
his back. “Is this okay?” Hotch asked quietly.
“More than okay,” he replied, and pressed a kiss against the fabric of Hotch’s sleep shirt.

“Let me know if it gets too much for you. I don’t want to crowd you.”

“I will. Sorry.”

“There’s no need to apologise, Spencer. I just want to know if I’m making you
uncomfortable.”

“You’re not making me uncomfortable. The only thing making me uncomfortable is after
years of reacting a certain way, I’m now not and it’s messing with my brain a little.”

“What do you mean?”

“Think of it this way. Imagine if when you were growing up, you never had green beans.
Your parents just never thought to cook them so you didn’t even know what they were. Then
one day, someone gives you one. And you try it and you find that the taste is a bit odd so you
decide you don’t really like green beans, so you avoid them. But then after a few years there
are certain people who will cook dishes that have the beans in them, and you don't mind them
in those, but only because it was those particular people who cooked them. And then one
night at a bar you meet a man and he gives you a bean, and it’s delicious. You’re surprised to
find that not only did you like the taste of the bean, but you’re suddenly craving beans. All
you want to eat for the rest of your life is beans. But this is so different to how it used to be
that you’re a bit confused as to why you suddenly like beans. And you worry that you’ll be
munching on some delicious beans for dinner one night and you’ll suddenly remember that
you don’t like beans and you’ll go hungry because you’ve ruined dinner.” He paused for a
moment, and traced a pattern on Hotch’s chest. “Does that make sense?”

“It’s one of the weirder metaphors I’ve ever heard, but yes, it makes sense.”

“What is it? I can feel you smiling.”

Hotch chuckled. “I’m just not sure how we’ve managed it, but a lot of our conversations
seem to revolve around foodstuffs.”

Spencer laughed. “I hadn’t realised that.” He yawned again, and this time his jaw cracked.
“Ow,” he grumbled.

Hotch leaned down and kissed his jaw. “There, all better. Now get some sleep.”

He snuggled against the warm body pressed against him. “Night, Aaron.”

*****

Spencer woke in the middle of the night with a gasp. He sat up, and looked wildly around the
dark room, trying to figure out where the gunshots were coming from.

“Spence? You ‘kay?” Hotch mumbled sleepily.

A cry broke from Spencer’s throat as he realised he’d been dreaming about the shooting, and
he felt tears stream down his cheeks. Hotch pulled him down into his arms and Spencer
sobbed brokenly against him.

“Shhhh, it’s okay, you’re safe here with me,” Hotch said soothingly as he rubbed at Spencer’s
back.

“I joked about it,” Spencer cried. “I joked about it with you and then it actually happened and
I’m a terrible person.”

“What do you mean?”

“That day I was mad at them. When I was texting you I joked that I would be justified in
killing them because of how mean they’d been. And that’s exactly what Toby did.” His whole
body shook as he cried. “I’m a terrible, terrible person.”

“Oh, Spencer, no you’re not. You were upset and you reacted the way most people would -
with words.”

“The girls are dead, and Toby is dead, and my oldest friend almost died, and I could have lost
you before I’d even had you.” The shirt beneath his face was soaked as he pressed himself
closer against Hotch's warm, firm body.

“Shhhh, I’ve got you, babe, you’re okay.”

“It’s not okay!” he wailed.

Hotch began to rock gently as Spencer clung to him. “But you will be. Not tonight, and not
tomorrow, and maybe not even months from now, but eventually you will be.”

“But they won’t. It’ll never be okay for them, because they’ll be gone but I’ll still be here.”

“And I’ll be here too. You don’t have to go through this alone.”

Spencer’s sobs began to quieten as Hotch continued to rock and soothe him. After a while he
began to shiver and Hotch sat them both up and pulled off his damp shirt. He positioned
Spencer on his side, and then snuggled up behind him, with his warm chest pressed against
his back. He made sure they were both covered with the blanket and soon Spencer’s
breathing evened out and he fell back to sleep.

*****

Spencer stirred and then squinted as his eyes came open to find light streaming through the
window. He groaned and squeezed his eyes shut again, then burrowed back under the blanket.
He could feel the warmth at his back from Hotch, and there was the comforting weight of an
arm slung over his hip. He concentrated on the feel of their skin on skin contact rather than
how much his jaw ached from crying.

Hotch’s arm squeezed him slightly, and he shuffled slightly closer. “Morning.”
“Morning. Have you been awake for long?” Spencer’s voice was soft with sleep.

“Not too long. I hope I didn't wake you.”

“Not at all. I hope I didn’t keep you awake all night.”

Hotch moved his arm and trailed his hand up and down Spencer’s side, his fingers tracing
patterns on the skin of his hip just above the waistband of his sleep pants. “Not all night. But
it’s the weekend so it doesn’t matter. We can sleep as long as you need to today.”

“Will you have to work?”

“We’ve been called away the past two weekends, so we’re definitely off rotation this week.
The bureau works us hard but they do frown upon us working fifteen days straight.”

Spencer shook his head. “I don't know how you do it.” He twisted his upper body around a
little to peek at Hotch and in doing so he felt Hotch’s hardness press against his arse.

“Sorry,” Hotch muttered, pulling back to put some space between them. His face flushed
slightly and Spencer grinned over his shoulder.

“There’s the blush you spoke of!”

“I really am sorry. I can’t seem to help my reaction to you.”

“Don’t be sorry. If I was the big spoon right now you’d feel exactly what I’m feeling.”
Feeling brave, Spencer grabbed onto Hotch’s hand and guided it down so he could feel the
erection tenting his own pants. Hotch groaned behind him as he brushed against Spencer’s
hardness.

“I thought you didn't want to take things this fast?” Hotch murmured into his ear

“I don't think I’m quite ready for full on sex yet,” Spencer admitted, his voice breaking a
little as he was palmed through his clothes. “But I’m sure there’s lots we can do before we
get to that point.”

Hotch grabbed Spencer’s hip and rolled him over onto his back. He propped himself up on
his elbow so he was looking down at Spencer and his eyes were filled with desire. “You are
so damn beautiful.” He leaned down and pressed kisses along Spencer’s jaw, before working
his way down his neck and to his collarbone. “Tell me if I do anything you don’t like.” He
nipped lightly at the skin and then pressed a soft kiss to the red mark. He caressed down
across ribs and a surprisingly hard stomach, and then slipped a hand over a hip to grab a
handful of arse.

“God, Aaron, that feels so good,” Spencer moaned. His hands clutched Hotch’s shoulders and
he moved one to curl his fingers through his short dark hair.

“I want to make you feel so good,” Hotch told him as he trailed kisses further down along
Spencer’s ribs. “I want you to lose yourself in how good it feels, and to forget everything but
what I’m doing to you.” He hooked his fingers under the waistband of Spencer’s sleep pants
and began to move them down his legs. Spencer arched his back a little to raise himself off
the bed and he shivered as he felt cold air on his skin. Hotch pulled the pants over his feet
and then threw them on the ground beside the bed. He then kissed the side of an ankle, then
moved upwards to kiss along Spencer’s shin, before he twirled his tongue playfully around a
kneecap. His hand glided up a thigh until it was resting on Spencer’s hip, and Spencer gasped
as his wrist brushed the leaking head of his cock.

“Ungh!” was all Spencer could say as Hotch moved his lips higher and higher up his thigh.
He felt a sudden warm wetness and looked down to see Hotch had his lips wrapped around
his aching cock and was moving slowly up and down the shaft. “Holy fuck, that feels so
damn good.” He felt more than saw the smile, before Hotch had moved to suck gently at the
head, tonguing the slit to lap up the pre-cum that was dripping. His hand wrapped around the
base of Spencer’s cock and he stroked up and down, twisting slightly as he moved. After a
moment he slid his mouth back down, swallowing him whole.. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Spencer
cried as he felt himself hit the back of Hotch’s throat. “I’m so close, please, stop, I don't want
this to end yet.”

Hotch gave one last bob of his head and then he pulled off and moved up Spencer’s body,
kissing as he went. “You liked that, I assume?” he asked with a cheeky grin.

“Oh, yes!” Spencer closed his eyes. “So very much.”

“You are so damn sexy, Doctor Reid,” Hotch growled into his ear, taking the lobe between
his teeth and sucking on it gently.

Spencer grinned. “So are you. And I refuse to have your sexiness covered by clothes.” He sat
up, and Aaron rocked back to a kneeling position so they faced each other. He tugged at the
waistband of Hotch’s sleep pants and he obliged by slipping them off. Spencer ran his hands
over Hotch’s toned torso, noting for the first time numerous scars but choosing not to
comment for now. He leaned forward to capture Hotch in a searing kiss while keeping up the
roaming exploration of his body. “How did I get so lucky?” he murmured, moving to suck
gently on his neck, and running a hand down his back to cup his arse.

Hotch let out a low chuckle, and the sound sent shivers through Spencer’s body. “I rather
think I’m the lucky one.”

“Perhaps we’ll have to agree that we’re both the luc - oh! ” Spencer gasped as Hotch reached
down and took both their cocks in his hand and started sliding them together. “Oh!”

“I love seeing you lose the ability to form a coherent thought.” Hotch claimed Spencer’s
mouth in another kiss, swiping the tip of his tongue over his lover’s lower lip. Spencer made
a whimpering sound in the back of his throat as Aaron continued to rub their lengths together.
“Do you have any lube?”

Spencer nodded and leaned over to pull a tube from his bedside table. He almost whined at
the loss on contact, so while Hotch squeezed some gel onto his hands, he took the time to
suck a small love bite onto the hollow just below Hotch's collarbone.
Hotch warmed the lube up by rubbing his hands together, and then he took up where he left
off, sliding their cocks together. His tongue delved into Spencer’s mouth, and arms were
clasped around the back of his neck, pulling him in even closer. It didn't take long before the
sensation was just too much for Spencer and he cried out as his orgasm ripped through him.
Aaron followed a moment later and they collapsed against each other, panting hard.

“That was amazing,” Spencer managed to say when he got his breath back.

“You are amazing,” Hotch told him, kissing him gently. “We're a bit sticky. Do you have a
wash cloth?”

Spencer waved randomly towards the bathroom as he flopped down on his pillow. Hotch
laughed and went to retrieve the cloth before coming back and cleaning them both up. “Feel
up for some breakfast?” he asked, leaning over for another kiss.

“Yeah, just give me a sec. The oxytocin and endorphins are still having an effect.” He caught
the quirk of Hotch’s eyebrow. “The chemicals your body releases post-orgasm. They can
have a sedative effect which is why you tend to sleep better after sex.”

“I can't decide if this -” Hotch ran a hand up Spencer’s body, “or this -” he reached up to tap
his forehead, “is sexier.”

“No one has ever found my brain attractive before.”

“You're adorable when you blush.” He claimed Spencer’s mouth in a deep kiss. “Everyone
else is just blind. Your mind is amazing. You're amazing. Know what else is amazing?”

Spencer shook his head, speechless at the compliments.

Hotch grinned. “Coffee. I'm going to go and see if I can work that fancy pants coffee machine
of yours. Stay here - I'll bring our cups in here so we can drink it while snuggling.”

Spencer perked up. “I like you more and more every minute I spend with you.” He burrowed
under the blankets and hummed happily as he waited for Hotch to return, completely
distracted from the grief that had hit him during the night.
 Chapter 9
Chapter Summary

A hospital visit and a heart to heart.

SR - Are you up for visitors?

EJ - God yes. I’m bored out of my brain.

SR - See you in a little bit then.

EJ - Bring coffee. What they call coffee in here is a violation of the Geneva Convention.

*****

Hotch drove Spencer to the hospital and accompanied him inside. He carried a stack of books
that Spencer had insisted on bringing for Ethan, and Spender had the promised cup of brew.
They waited for an elevator after getting directions from the front desk, and he fidgeted
nervously.

“What’s wrong?” Hotch asked as they stepped into the empty cart.

Spencer shrugged. “I just don’t know how this is going to go. I always defended Toby, and in
the end I guess Ethan was right about him. I have a feeling that Ethan will be upset with me.”

“Spencer, this isn’t your fault.”

“I know. But Ethan is in hospital and our friends are dead and I never listened to their
concerns about the one responsible.”

“That’s not how it works,” Aaron told him with a stern look. “You couldn’t have predicted
what would happen. All you did was stand up for someone who was being bullied. Ethan has
no right to be upset with you.”

The elevator arrived at their floor and they stepped into the corridor. “Try telling Ethan that,”
Spencer grumbled.

“Maybe I will.” Hotch’s face had darkened. “I know he’s your friend, but I’ll not have him
upsetting you.”

“Please don't. I can handle him.”

Hotch didn't respond but he gave a tiny nod of his head. They reached the correct room and
Spencer poked his head through the door. “You awake?” He saw his friend lying on the bed,
his head propped up with pillows, the television remote in his hands.

“You took your sweet time,” Ethan grumbled. His eyes flickered to Hotch as he followed
Spencer into the room. “I see you brought company.”

“My text did ask if you were up for visitors - plural. I thought you got shot in the stomach,
not the brain.”

Ethan rolled his eyes at Spencer, and he nodded a greeting at his second visitor.

“Ethan,” Hotch greeted him. “I hope you’re recovering well.”

“Let’s just say I’ve been better.” He tried to sit up but gasped, and slumped back in pain.
“Who’d have thought a bullet ripping through abdominal muscles would make bending so
hard?”

Spencer opened his messenger bag and started sifting through the contents. He made a small
sound of triumph as he pulled out a small straw. He poked it through the lid of the coffee cup
and then sat on the edge of the bed, holding the straw up to Ethan’s lips. Ethan took a sip and
closed his eyes. “That is bliss. We’ll just all promise to never tell anyone outside this room
that I was forced to use a straw.”

“Your secret is safe with us,” Hotch said with a small smile. He placed the books on the table
and then touched Spencer’s shoulder. “I’ll leave you two alone so you can catch up. I’ll be in
the coffee shop when you’re done.”

Spencer reached up and placed his hand over Hotch’s, giving it a squeeze. “Thanks.”

Ethan nodded again as Hotch left the room and then turned to his friend, a smirk on his lips.
“I see there’s been some progression?”

Spencer blushed and nodded. “He came round last night to look after me and ended up
staying.”

“Look after you? What do you mean? Did you get hurt?”

He touched his sleeve that covered his bandage. “Yeah, I got shot in my arm.”

“That fucking bastard. If he wasn’t already dead, I’d kill him myself.”

“How much do you know about what happened?”

Ethan lay his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes. “Not much. Someone came to take
a statement last night but I was pretty out of it from the anesthetic. I remember that Nancy
and Maeve died, as well as others in the department - though I’ve not heard names yet. And I
remember them telling me that he’d been gunned down. I didn't know that you’d been
injured.” His eyes opened again but there didn't seem to be the accusation in them that
Spencer was expecting. “I only just remembered that you’d gone to his office. Fuck, Spencer,
were you the first person he shot?”

Spencer gave a small shake of his head. “The last.” He gave Ethan a brief version of the
events, and tried to keep his voice from breaking as he told the story.

“You saved a lot of people from the sound of it,” Ethan told him when he finished. “I’m
proud of you, Spence.”

He shook his head. “I didn’t do anything.”

Ethan took his hand and squeezed it. “You never think you do.” He motioned for the cup and
Spencer raised the straw to his lips again so he could drink. A trickle of coffee ran into his
beard and Spencer wiped it away gently with his thumb. “So, do you think things are going to
get serious with your sexy FBI agent?”

“I hope so. I just hope I don’t scare him off. I gave him some warning about what to expect
but I don’t know if it will be enough.”

“You told him about your mom?”

Spencer lowered his eyes. “Not yet. I thought that might be a bit much to take in.”

“You’ll have to tell him eventually. I’m pretty sure it won’t be long before he’s asking about
your family.”

“Maybe. I’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

“I wish you all the luck in the world with that conversation. Though if he’s the man you think
he is I hope he’ll take it in his stride.”

They spoke a while longer but when a nurse came to administer more pain medication and
check the sutures, Spencer took his leave. He found Hotch sitting at a table in the coffee
shop, scrolling through his phone.

“Hey, all done,” he said as he slid into a chair next to him. “Is everything okay? Do you have
to go into work?”

Hotch smiled. “No, just reading back through our texts.”

“Why?”

“Because unlike you, I don't have an eidetic memory and I needed to make sure you were
real.”

Spencer felt his cheeks redden again. “Have you convinced yourself that I am?”

Hotch’s lips twitched and he leaned forward, kissing Spencer gently. He then kissed him
again. And again. He moved back and then nodded. “Yep, now I’m convinced.” He stood and
offered Spencer his hand. “What would you like to do now?”
“I’m not sure. I don't really want to go home yet.”

“I know you’re supposed to be resting, so I don't want to do anything that will be too
strenuous. How do you feel about a gentle walk through that park near your place?”

“I’d like that very much.”

Hotch held up a carry bag. “I grabbed some sandwiches to go so we can have some lunch
while there.”

The day had turned overcast by the time they’d reached the park and although it wasn’t cold,
the wind had a bite to it. Spencer pulled his grey cardigan tighter about him as he stepped out
of the warm car. Hotch took his hand and they began a leisurely walk around the small lake
in the middle of the park.

“This is nice,” Spencer said as they stopped to watch a bluebird flit from branch to branch in
one of the trees.

“Mmm, it is. I always find myself so rushed on my days off. I have so little free time and
what I have tends to get taken up with activities for Jack, and those annoying chores that just
pile up. It’s wonderful to just relax and enjoy myself.”

Spencer chewed on his bottom lip, and furrowed his eyebrows in worry. “Do you need to be
doing other things? I don’t want to take up all your time if you have more important things to
be doing.”

Hotch moved to stand in front of him and he took his face between his hands. “Spencer, at
this moment, right here and now, you are the most important thing. Chores can wait, and
obviously once Jack is back from seeing his Mom’s family, he becomes my priority. But I’m
hoping we can introduce the two of you as soon as you’re comfortable, so we can make sure
that we all spend time together.”

“Y...you want me to meet Jack?” He couldn’t keep the surprise from his voice.

Hotch gave him a steady look, and Spencer squirmed - he was suddenly reminded of the look
his mother gave him when he was being daft and should have known better. “Of course I
want you to meet Jack. It doesn’t come as a shock to learn that we’re a package deal, does
it?”

“No! Of course not! It’s because I know how important he is to you that I was surprised at
how fast you want us to meet. I thought you’d want to be really sure of us first.”

“Am I going to freak you out if I tell you that I am really sure of us?”

“Aaron, as romantic as that is, you can’t know that already! We only met a week ago.” He
looked at his watch. “Seven days, sixteen hours, and seven minutes ago to be exact. Do you
really know enough about me to be able to make a decision about something so important?”

“Let’s go sit somewhere so we can eat while we talk.”

Hotch led him away from the main path to a bench next to the shore. They took out the
sandwiches and Hotch took a bite, chewing slowly and Spencer could tell he was gathering
his thoughts. He didn’t push the issue, but waited for him to continue at his own pace.

“So, it’s not exactly socially acceptable to bring up past sexual encounters with one’s present
partner,” Hotch started, a wry smile on his lips. Spencer swatted playfully at his arm, but let
him continue. “As I told you, I’ve not had a serious relationship since Hayley and I divorced.
That’s not to say I haven’t tried dating the past few years. There have been a few women I
saw for short periods, but they never progressed past casual dates.”

“Only women?” Spencer asked, genuinely curious.

“That’s the way it turned out. As I said, I’m attracted to both genders. It could easily have
been a few men, but it just happened that the people I’d met were women.” He took another
bite of his lunch, and looked out over the lake as he chewed. “They were all quite nice, and
there was obviously an attraction there, but I found with each of them that after a few dates
my interest just fizzled. Conversation just didn’t flow and it felt forced. It felt like such an
effort, and I remember thinking that if it was a chore to begin the relationship, how hard was
it going to be when those inevitable rough patches come along?” He turned back to look at
Spencer and smiled. “But with you - it’s different. We never seem to be at a loss of things to
talk about, and I’ve made it clear I’ve been more open with you than anyone else, ever. I hate
when we have to stop texting because one of us has to get back to work, or go to sleep. You
make me laugh so much, and it makes my whole day lighter.”

“Aaron -”

He held up a hand. “Let me finish. Please? I could never picture any of those women waking
up with me on a Sunday morning, and coming to watch Jack play soccer. I could never see
them fitting in with our lives, but I do see you there. You’re like the missing puzzle piece. I
know you haven’t met him yet, and I know that must be daunting. I also know that we’re not
going to become a family over night. I’m not saying we need to rush this. I’m just trying to
tell you that deep down, I just know that this is real.” He took a deep breath, and looked up to
meet Spencer’s gaze.

“I don't know what to say,” Spencer said, but took Hotch’s hand and gave it a reassuring
squeeze. “I feel the same connection, and I really hope that this is the real deal. I guess I’m
just scared. I’ve never had much to do with kids before and I don’t know if I’ll be any good.
Plus, there’s so much you still don’t know about me.”

“We’ve got time to get to know each better, Spence.”

“Not all of it is good though!” He closed his eyes, not quite meaning to blurt that out. “Look,
there’s things that I need to tell you, about my family, but it’s not something I can do just yet.
I’m not quite ready to go there.” He opened his eyes to find Hotch giving him a kind look.
“It’s not that I don't want to tell you. I’m just...not ready. Plus, I don’t want to scare you off.”

“Spencer, are you planning on harming me, or my son?”

He shook his head.

“Then I’m not going to get scared off by anything you tell me. Whatever it is, you tell me
when you feel you’re able.”

“But what if-” A finger was pressed against his lips, silencing him.

“No buts. No what ifs. I promise you.”

“How can you make that promise when you don’t know what it is?”

“Because I see how special you are, and I want you in my life. Whatever it is, I promise that
we’ll handle it - together.”

Spencer leaned against Hotch and wrapped his arms around him. “Thank you,” he breathed
into his ear.

“Anything for you.” They separated and Hotch gathered up the rubbish from their lunch.
“Shall we head back to your place?”

“Sure.” They walked in a comfortable silence back to the car. Spencer thought about how to
ask Hotch something without coming across as needy. He still hadn’t figured it out by the
time they’d arrived at his apartment building. Hotch parked the car in a visitor bay but didn't
get out of the car.

“I can tell you have something on your mind. Out with it.”

“Am I really that easy to read?” Spencer asked a little bashfully.

“You forget that it’s my job.”

“Fair point.” He chewed on his bottom lip. “Um, well, I was wondering if you wanted to,
well...oh, nevermind, I’m sure you probably wouldn’t want to anyway and have better things
to do…”

Hotch leaned across and pulled Spencer’s lip from between his teeth with his thumb. “What
were you wondering?”

“I guess I thought that maybe, if it’s okay and you didn't already have plans, that you might
want to, um, stay the night again.”

“Hmmm, let’s see. I don't have my son this weekend so I don’t have any commitments, I’m
on stand down for work, and a sexy young man wants me to stay the night. I’m really not
sure if that sounds at all appealing.” He kept his face deadpan.

“Stop making fun!” Spencer whined, but he couldn’t keep the grin from his face.

“Of course I want to stay, babe.” He pulled Spencer to him and covered his mouth in a kiss,
deepening it until they were both panting with need.

“Maybe we should take this upstairs?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”
 Chapter 10
Chapter Summary

Bit of a mixed bag - some sexy times, some laughs, and Hotch explains how he got
those scars.

They staggered into the bedroom, limbs and clothes flying everywhere and they both tried to
touch and taste as much as they could. Spencer wasn’t too sure exactly when his hands were
touching flesh and not clothing, but he didn’t dwell as there was a huff from Hotch and a tug
on the hem of his own shirt and he was lifting his arms above his head and the garment was
being pulled off, tugging a little on the bandage and making him wince. Hotch stooped down
to press a kiss to the bandage and then he moved across, kissing across Spencer’s chest,
sucking gently on a nipple, and once it had hardened, moving to the next.

Spencer moaned and pushed Hotch backwards towards the bed. He climbed onto Hotch’s lap
and gripped his hair, pulling his head backwards so his lips were angled towards Spencer’s
own. Their mouths clashed together hungrily, and he felt short nails scratch lightly down his
back. He felt goosebumps break out and couldn’t suppress the shiver that ran through his
body. He could feel the hardness of Hotch’s cock trapped against his thigh and he slipped
down off the bed and onto his knees.

“Spence, you don't have to if it’s too much,” Hotch murmured, a gentle hand on his cheek.

He shook his head. “It’ll be fine. I want this.” He dipped his head and licked at the pre-cum
glistening on the tip, somewhat surprised that he didn't mind the salty taste. He licked again,
firmer this time, he tongue pressing against the slit. He heard Hotch moan, and boldened by
the response, he took the head in his mouth and sucked gently. He twirled his tongue around
the hard cock for a minute and then once he was sure he wouldn’t panic by having something
obstructing his airway, he began to move farther down the shaft. He could hear Hotch’s
breath come in small gasps, and he felt fingers curl into his hair - not forcing or pushing, but
just holding, as if just needing the touch. Spencer bobbed his head a few more times, gagging
slightly as the tip hit the back of his throat. He moved back up, licking along the dark vein,
and then tonguing against the slit again.

The hands in his hair moved to his shoulders and Hotch tugged at him gently. Spencer raised
his head and was guided back up onto Hotch’s lap. “You’re surprisingly good at that for
someone without much experience,” Hotch said with a small smile, and a kiss.

“I hope to get much better at it,” Spencer told him. “I’ll need lots of practise though. Know
anyone who would like to be my training partner?”
Hotch chuckled against his neck, and the sound sent more shivers through Spencer. “I do
know of someone who might be interested. Will you need to see a resume?”

“That’s probably not necessary. I trust your judgement, so will accept your recommendation.”

Hotch grabbed Spencer’s arse and rolled them, so he was the one now straddling Spencer's
hips. He moved his hand down between them and soon clever fingers were wrapped around
Spencer’s cock. “Shall we consider this my interview?”

Spencer moaned and let his head roll to the side. Hotch nipped at the skin there, then ran his
tongue over the spot to soothe it. “You’re hired, Agent Hotchner.”

Spencer reached down and took Hotch’s cock in his own hand and they found themselves in a
rhythm, matching each other stroke for stroke. He felt the pressure begin to build just behind
his balls, which only increased when Hotch added a twist to his strokes. “You are just too
damned sexy, Spencer,” Hotch growled. “I want to see you come. Will you come for me?”

It was too much for Spencer, and he cried out, feeling his release coat their hands. His rhythm
faltered as he shuddered through his orgasm, but he started up again and soon he felt Hotch
still, and then he too was spilling himself between them.

Hotch collapsed against Spencer, and they laughed as their bodies slipped against each other.
“We seem to be quite good at making a mess,” he said, and Spencer laughed again.

“My shower isn’t overly huge, but we should both fit.”

“Sounds good. I’ll need to wrap your bandage in Saran wrap though so it doesn’t get wet.”

Spencer made a face. “Who would have thought getting shot would make everything so
damn awkward.”

“Maybe you’ll think about that before you jump in front of a loaded gun next time.”

“Next time? Agent Hotchner, I’m not sure how you foresee this relationship panning out but I
don’t plan on making getting shot part of our foreplay ritual.”

Hotch held out a hand and pulled him from the bed. “You have no idea how happy it makes
me to hear you say that.” He reached down and gave Spencer a cheeky pat on the bum.
“Now, where’s that cling wrap?”

*****

They’d spent a lazy evening on the couch, watching documentaries and eating take out, and
were now snuggled in bed together. Hotch had propped himself up on the pillows and
Spencer lay sprawled across his chest, and had a leg hooked over Aaron’s. His long fingers
glided over Hotch’s skin, mapping every bump, and curve. They lingered over one of the
many scars that marred the otherwise perfect torso, and he debated if they knew each other
well enough to ask about them yet.

“The man who killed my ex wife did that to me,” Hotch answered the unspoken question.
Spencer raised his head so their eyes met. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

Hotch shrugged, and ran his hand through Spencer’s hair, his fingers working to untangle a
rogue curl. “I don’t want to hide anything from you. There’s not much to tell - he ambushed
me in my home, stabbed me nine times, psychologically tortured me, and then dumped me in
the emergency room.” His voice was even but Spencer could tell it was an effort to keep it
that way.

“I can’t even imagine…” He wrapped his arms even further around Aaron and squeezed him
to within an inch of his life.

“Spence, kinda need to breathe,” Hotch wheezed.

Spencer released his grip. “Sorry. I just...I don’t know. I just needed to reassure myself you
were still here.”

“There’s nothing to apologise for - I understand the urge. For weeks after Hayley was killed,
I had to be mindful I didn't crush Jack when I hugged him. That need to protect those we care
about can be overwhelming. Just try not to crack too many of my ribs.”

“You are an amazing man, Aaron Hotchner. I don’t know how you do it.”

“Do what?”

“Retain your sense of humour. So much has happened that would have driven most men to
the brink of madness, but somehow you’ve kept from falling.”

Hotch shook his head. “I’m pretty sure I did fall. I killed that man with my bare hands after
what he did to my family. I beat him, and I didn't stop until I was pulled from him. Since then
it’s been a struggle to maintain any kind of normalcy, and yet I’ve had to, for Jack. If it
wasn’t for him, I’d never have emerged from that madness.” He pressed a kiss into Spencer’s
curls. “And now I have you as well. Something else to cling to when that gaping maw
becomes too much of a temptation. Hearing your laugh and knowing I’m the cause of it?
That’s a powerful tether holding me back from the edge. You’re the only one who sees this
side of me, because you’re the only one I trust with it.”

They lay in silence afterwards, just taking comfort from each other. Spencer wiped away a
tear that trickled down his cheek, hoping Hotch wouldn’t notice. He couldn’t express how he
felt at being trusted so deeply and so quickly by this remarkable man, but he intended to
ensure he never betrayed that trust. He snuggled in closer, and soon the steady rhythm of the
heart beating beneath his ear lulled him to sleep.

*****

“I really wish you’d let me help,” Spencer grumbled as he led Hotch up the stairs to his
apartment.

“You’re supposed to be resting.”

Spencer stopped dead and turned to pout at Hotch. “Resting yes, but I’m not an invalid!”
Hotch juggled the bags he was carrying as he came to an unexpected halt. “Spencer, I know
you’re not an invalid, but just let me carry your damn groceries.” He grinned. “Besides, an
invalid would not have been able to make my toes curl like you did this morning.”

He sighed. “I just feel so useless.”

“It’ll pass. How about this - once you’re all healed up, I make you wait on me hand and foot
for a whole weekend so we’re even.” He grinned even wider as Spencer glared at him. “I
could make you dress in a sexy maid outfit, and you could feed me grapes, whilst fanning me
with a giant palm leaf.”

“You can shove your palm leaf up your-” He was cut short by Hotch’s lips on his. He stood
woodenly for a moment but then couldn’t help himself and returned this kiss. “You don’t play
fair,” he whined as they broke apart.

“I never claimed otherwise.” Hotch jostled the bags in his arms to balance them. “Can we
please go inside now? These are getting heavy.”

They packed away the groceries and then made sandwiches for lunch. They were just
finishing up when Hotch’s phone rang. Spencer tried not to listen in to the call while he
cleared away the dishes. He heard Hotch end the call and then arms wrapped about him from
behind.

“I have to go. We have a case in Iowa.”

“I guess I’m lucky enough that I got almost a whole weekend with you.” He felt warm breath
on the back of his neck and a kiss behind his ear and he shivered.

“I’ll text when I can. Take care of yourself, please?”

He turned around and clasped his hands behind Hotch’s neck. “I will. You too.” He leaned
into Aaron and kissed him deeply, delving his tongue inside and only pulling back when he
was out of air. “That was for the road.”

“You make it so damn hard to leave, Doctor Reid.”

“Then make sure you hurry back.”

*****

AH - Have called it a night, am back at the hotel. How was your afternoon?

SR - Not bad. Worked on my article a little then I went to visit Ethan.

AH - How’s he doing?

SR - Grumpy. He hates being stuck in hospital. He’s healing well though and could be
released tomorrow if he pushes it.

AH - Is that really the best thing for him?

SR - Probably not but he won’t listen to me. I’m worried he won’t follow the doctor’s orders
after he’s out so I’ve suggested he come and stay with me so I can keep an eye on him.

AH - You’re injured too though - will you manage?

SR - I don’t know if I should be offended or touched by your concern...I thought we agreed I

wasn’t an invalid?

AH - There’s a difference between looking after yourself and taking care of someone who has
just had major surgery after suffering extensive trauma.

SR - I’m sure we’ll cope. Besides, it’s better having him here so I can nag him than him being
alone at home with only his poor decision making skills to keep him company.

AH - I guess. You’re a good friend.

SR - Ethan has been there for me more than you know. This is the least I can do for him.

SR - I miss you.

AH - I miss you too.

SR - How has Morgan been towards you?

AH - Surprisingly okay. I got a brief lecture on exactly what he would do to me if I hurt you,
but otherwise the threats have been kept to a minimum.

SR - I suppose he has to tread lightly since you’re his boss and all. Death threats against his
unit chief wouldn’t look good on his performance appraisal.

AH - I can forgive him those - he’s doing it to protect you and I wouldn’t expect anything less.

AH - How has Ethan reacted to us being together? Is he okay with it?

SR - Why wouldn’t he be?

AH - It didn't take much to figure out that he was the friend who you had your first
experience with.

SR - Ah yes, I forget you do this for a living, He was, but that’s all it was. There’s no residual
romantic feelings between us. He’s not going to go into a jealous rage or anything.

SR - Are you?

AH - I think I can keep those urges under control ;-)

AH - Seriously though, I only asked because I didn't want to cause any tension between the
two of you.

SR - Ethan is happy for me. He calls you my ‘sexy FBI agent’. He’s not going to cause any
dramas.
AH - Good. I really hope he and I can be friends. I know how important he is to you, and I
want to be a part of all aspects of your life if you’ll let me.

SR - I’d like that.

AH - Why are hotel beds always so uncomfortable?

SR - I’ve not had much experience with them.

AH - This one is lumpy and squeaks everytime I move.

SR - Do I need to stop distracting you and let you get to sleep?

AH - No, I’m enjoying the distraction. I wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway.

SR - I wish you were here. My bed feels rather empty without you.

AH - I wish I was there too. I very much enjoyed the last couple of days.

SR - So did I - you know, everything that happened at work aside.

AH - How are you managing with that?

SR - It still doesn’t quite feel real, but every now and then it hits me. There’s a memorial
service on Wednesday at the university and I think that will make it all a bit more real.

AH - I’m not sure if we’ll be back by then. I hope to be, but…

SR - I know. You don’t have to apologise - I understand.

AH - If you need me though, call me. Unless I absolutely can’t, I’ll always answer the phone
if you call.

SR - I appreciate that.

AH - Rossi has just grumbled at me - we’re sharing a room and apparently I’m keeping him
up. I’d better go.

SR - Okay. Take care, Aaron.

AH - Sleep sweet, Spencer. Night x

 Chapter 11
Chapter Summary

Ethan is discharged from hospital, and Hotch and Spencer text about cephalopods.

“If you can sign here, here, and here, Mr Jones, I can get your discharge paperwork
completed.

Spencer threw a worried glance at Ethan, still certain his friend shouldn’t be leaving the
hospital. He’d had no luck talking him out of it, and had grave concerns that his friend’s
stubbornness would cause further injury. There was little he could do though so he kept his
mouth closed and tried to be supportive. The nurse left the counter momentarily.

“Will you please stop glaring at me?”

“I’m not glaring,” Spencer protested.

“Yes, you are.”

“You had your back to me, how could you even tell what expression I had on my face?”

Ethan turned to face him with a smirk. “Because I could feel a burning sensation where your
glare was piercing the flesh.” He turned back to the counter as the nurse returned.

“I’ll make you an appointment at the Wound Care Centre for later in the week to have your
dressings changed. Do you need directions?”

“I know where it is,” Spencer told Ethan. “I went there before coming to pick you up to have
my arm checked out. I’ve got to come back on Thursday to have the sutures removed so I can
bring you then.”

“That’ll be perfect,” the nurse told them, making the appointment. “If you have any concerns
in the meantime, Mr Jones, feel free to call this number. You take care now.”

They offered their thanks and made their way out to the carpark, Ethan walking much slower
than usual. Spencer helped him into the car, his friend’s breaths coming in short gasps as he
worked through the pain of sitting. They stopped at a pharmacy to get the prescription for
pain medication filled, before going to Ethan’s to pack a bag. Spencer opened drawers and
stuffed the bag full of pyjamas, loose fitting shirts, and sweatpants.

“Will you need anything else?” he asked as he finished gathering up toothbrush, razor, and
deodorant. He caught the fond smile on Ethan’s lips and stopped.
“What?” he asked.

Ethan shook his head, the smile growing. “Nothing. I just love that you know me so well that
you packed my stuff in less time that it would have taken me to do it.”

Spencer shrugged, feeling slightly self conscious. “After knowing each other for so long, it’d
be weird if we didn't know so much about each other.” He zipped up the bag. “Ready to go?”

“Sure. Will your sexy FBI agent be there tonight?”

Spencer shook his head, and shouldered the bag. “He’s away on a case in Iowa. I doubt he’ll
be back for a few days yet.” He couldn’t keep the disappointment from his voice.

Ethan gave him an odd look, but didn't elaborate. He held the door open for Spencer, and
then locked up after them. They moved slowly back to the car, and Spencer stowed the bag in
the trunk. “What’s the plan for tonight?” Ethan asked.

“Apart from me yelling at you when you try to do something that your stitches won’t like?”

Ethan shrugged. “That’s a given.”

“I stopped by the store on the way to get you and picked up a new DVD.”

“Oh?”

Spencer grinned. “Just our favourite cult classic of all time.”

“You don’t mean?”

He nodded. “I do. Bad Taste.”

Ethan cackled with glee. “The 1987 splatter flick that launched the career of one of
Hollywood’s biggest directors. The most gruesome film made on the smallest budget. The
movie that spawned countless nights of quotes and laughs when we were supposed to be
studying. Spence - have I told you just how awesome you are?”

Spencer laughed. “I thought a bit of bloody nostalgia might cheer up an intergalactic wanker
like yourself.”

“Eat lead, sucker.”

They giggled the rest of the way back to Spencer’s apartment and in a very short space of
time had unpacked Ethan’s bag in the spare room and were parked on the couch watching the
movie. Spencer noticed an immediate improvement in his friend’s mood as the afternoon
progressed and by evening he was positively cheerful. With the groceries that Aaron had
gotten, Spencer made spaghetti for dinner and after they had eaten he got them both a beer.

“What on earth are you doing?” Spencer asked as he watched his friend wiggle about in
constant motion.
“I ate too much,” Ethan whined. “I’m so full that it’s putting pressure on my stitches when I
sit. I’m trying to get comfortable.” He squirmed around a bit more and ended almost on his
side, slumped against Spencer.

“You right?”

Ethan nodded. “Yep, this’ll do for now.”

Spencer laughed and after shifting slightly so his friend’s hip wasn’t poking his ribs, he
relaxed back against the couch. Ethan leaned his head on Spencer’s shoulder and they drank
their beers in companionable silence.

“So, are you ever going to fill me in?” Ethan asked after a while.

“With what?”

“Don’t play coy. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“Aaron?”

Spencer swore he could hear Ethan’s eyes rolling. “No, dumbass, the political climate in
Prague.Of course I meant with him!”

“What’s there to say? I’m not going into intimate detail, Ethan.”

“I figured you wouldn’t. But you must be able to tell me something. Anything. It seems to
have developed rather quickly, so there must be a story there. I’m not due for more
painkillers for another hour and I need the distraction.”

Spencer sighed. “You don't approve, do you?”

Ethan was quiet for a few moments. “You know I just want to see you happy. I guess I’m just
a little spun out over the speed. I mean, you’re you. To find out you’re interested in someone
is one thing, but to be physically involved after a week goes against all I know of Doctor
Spencer Reid.”

“It’s surprised me as well. But it just feels so natural with Aaron. He makes me feel safe, and
he’s so patient. It’s easy to overcome my contact aversion with him.”

“Just as long as you’re not being pressured into anything.”

“He’s not like that, Ethan.”

“So I don’t have to beat him up to protect your honour?”

Spencer snorted. “Please don’t - I wouldn’t want to have to scrape the pieces of your bloody
body up and mail them back to your parents.”

Ethan poked him playfully in the ribs. “I think I could take him.”
“Uh huh, sure you could. You keep telling yourself that.”

“Your lack of faith in my abilities wounds me.”

“What can I say - I’m a realist.” Spencer laughed. “Do you want to watch another movie?” he
asked.

Ethan shrugged. “Sure, why not.”

“What do you want to watch?”

“I don’t really mind.”

It turned out that Ethan really did mind. Everything Spencer suggested he vetoed and they
spent half an hour playfully bickering over the DVD collection. Eventually they decided on
the original Alien and Spencer hit the lights. They settled back on the couch to watch, with
Ethan arranging himself against the armrest with his feet in the middle. Just before the
infamous chest burster scene, Spencer’s phone pinged.

AH - Have called it a day.

Spencer grinned and quickly typed out a reply, zoning the movie out.

SR - A long day if you’re only finishing up now.

AH - I know, sorry. If I had any other job I would gladly distract myself all day by sending
you messages.

SR - I know. I understand why you can’t text during a case. I’m just glad we can chat now.
You must be exhausted.

AH - A bit, but I always feel energised after talking to you. It’s a shame I’m not there so you
can release some of the pent up energy ;-)

SR - You’re lucky I’m sitting in the dark so Ethan can’t see me blush.

AH - Why are you sitting in the dark?

SR - Watching a movie. Trust me, I much prefer having the lights on, but Ethan thinks scary
movies should be watched in the dark and I don't have the heart to fight him on this one
tonight.

AH - Hmmm, that’s unexpected.

SR - What is?

AH - The irrational surge of jealousy I just felt when hearing you’re sitting in a darkened
room, watching a scary movie with a man that’s not me.

SR - You know nothing will happen, right?

AH - I do. Hence why it’s irrational.

SR - Trust me, if you were here there wouldn’t be a whole cushion of space between us. I’d
most likely be attached to you like an octopus.

AH - That’s an interesting visual. Octopi shouldn’t sound so sexy.

AH - Octopuses?

AH - I can never remember what the correct plural is for them.

SR - Octopuses is correct. Octopodes is also acceptable. Octopi is not.

AH - Imagine what we could get up to if you had all those extra arms…

SR - You’re lucky we’re both males. Female octopuses have a tendency for cannibalism
during sex.

AH - Does that mean I’m a girl octopus if I swallow?

SR - I wouldn’t go that far. Though I’m not opposed to seeing you in a dress.

AH - Kinky. I might have to surprise you with that one day.

“Are you even going to watch the movie?” Ethan’s voice broke through Spencer’s thoughts.

“Sorry,” Spencer apologised, throwing his friend a bashful look. “Aaron doesn’t get to text
during cases so we only get to talk at night. I can go in the bedroom if it bothers you?”

“Nevermind. It’s okay.”

“Are you sure? I don't mind.”

“Stay here, Spence. It’s fine. Maybe just turn off the sound.”

Feeling a little bad for disturbing his friend, Spencer turned his phone on to silent.

AH - Shall I assume surprising you like that is a bad idea?

SR - Not at all. I was just getting chastised by Ethan for disturbing his movie watching
experience. All sorted now.

SR - Where were we?

AH - Discussing cephalopods and the benefits of being one.

SR - Did you know that octopuses have three hearts?

AH - I did not.

AH - So if we *were* octopuses I’d fall for you three times quicker than I already am.
SR - …

AH - Spence?

AH - Please tell me you’re not hyperventilating again. I don't think I could handle my
jealousy if Ethan gave you mouth to mouth.

SR - Am I hallucinating? I got shot worse than I thought and I’m actually in a coma and this
is all a dream, right? Because you *can’t* be real.

AH - I’m very real, babe.

SR - I feel like I’m living in a fairytale, and you’re Prince Charming. Who else would say
such beautiful things to me?

AH - It worries me that you have such trouble accepting the things I say. YOU are the most
amazing man I’ve ever met and you deserve every happiness. I consider myself so lucky that
I’m the one who gets to make you happy.

AH - Is it that so hard for you to accept?

SR - My only experience with things like this is second hand from hearing about it through
friends. From what I’ve heard, it doesn’t happen like this in real life.

AH - How is it supposed to happen?

SR - I don’t know - more tears, angst, and uncertainty?

AH - Would you really want that?

SR - Well no...obviously. I’m just trying to explain why it all feels surreal.

AH - Are you happy?

SR - Unbelievably so.

AH - Then does it matter if it’s not like everyone else’s relationships?

SR - Not at all. Sorry.

AH - You don’t have to apologise.

AH - I’d better get to bed :( It’s been a long day.

SR - Of course. Good night, Aaron.

AH - Goodnight. Oh, and Spence?

AH - You make me unbelievably happy too.

*****
Spencer woke gradually, his mind still chasing the pleasant dreams he’d been having. The
room was still dark but there was pale light coming through the window that announced
dawn’s presence. He shifted and found himself pinned by a body against him, one hand
resting under his shirt against his stomach. He smiled at the feel of Hotch against him and
stilled as he cherished the feel. A few moments later his sleepy brain started to fill in some
details and he recalled that his lover was several states away. “Aaron?” he asked hopefully, as
he peered at the lump against him.

There was a groan and the body moved, and then sat up. Ethan wiped at his eyes and yawned.
“Sorry,” he said towards the tail end of the yawn. “I didn't realise we fell asleep out here.”

Spencer froze by a sudden wave of guilt. Although accidental, the intimate position he’d
found himself in with Ethan recalled Hotch’s words from the previous night. The last thing he
wanted to do was betray the trust of the man who had so quickly come into his life and make
him feel so cherished and wanted. He pulled himself off the couch as fast as he could and still
make it look natural, and hurried to the bathroom. He shut the door and leaned against the
sink, feeling queasy. The disappointment of discovering it wasn’t Aaron holding him was
churning his stomach and the longing for his lover was so intense that he felt like he may
explode if he didn’t get to see him soon. The foreign feelings were overwhelming and he
splashed water on his face to calm himself down.

After a few minutes, Spencer felt calm enough to exit the bathroom. Ethan was in the kitchen
and wordlessly passed him a cup, acting completely normal as he headed for the couch. He
hadn’t picked up on Spencer’s panic, and he clearly hadn’t been phased. It seemed that Ethan
saw the entire thing as an innocent act whereby two friends had fallen asleep on the couch
together. His lack of reaction further calmed Spencer, and he took a deep breath before taking
a sip of coffee.

“I’ve had an email with the details of the memorial tomorrow,” Ethan called.

Spencer nodded and crossed to the couch, focusing on the conversation. If he sat a little more
stiffly or a little further away than normal, then it wasn’t noticed. “What are the plans?” he
asked, hoping that the day would pass quickly.
 Chapter 12
Chapter Summary

Ethan reveals his true feelings

It had been a long day. Spencer and Ethan had attended the memorial service at the university
and they were both feeling drained. It had been harder than Spencer thought it would be to
return to the campus, despite the service being held on the opposite side of the grounds to the
scene of the shooting. He had been on edge the moment they arrived, and being bombarded
with condolences and sympathy had not helped. If it had been simple words, Spencer could
have dealt with it, but people always felt the need to add a hug, or a squeeze to the shoulder.
He had been on the verge of a panic attack all day, and it was sheer luck that it hadn’t taken
over during the service.

Nine people had died the previous Friday, and the collective grief from the crowd thrummed
through Spencer’s brain. It was times like these that he cursed his eidetic memory - the shock
had worn off and he had found that his brain had loyally recorded every detail of the ordeal.
In addition to the overwhelming emotional assault, his brain was helpfully supplying detail
rich flashbacks to flesh out the horror. He was shaking by the time they got back to his
apartment and he collapsed onto the couch as soon as they got in the door.

Ethan wordlessly went to the kitchen and returned with two beers. He handed over a bottle
and then slumped down next to Spencer, wincing and clutching his stomach as he did so.
“Why do I keep forgetting about that?” He took a sip of his beer. “Well today was fucking
horrible,” he muttered.

Spencer grunted in reply. His brain was too overloaded to even talk. His eyes focussed on a
small crack in the far wall as he sipped at his beer. Ethan seemed to understand that
conversation wasn’t appreciated and they sat in silence together for over an hour. At one
point Ethan went to get them refills, but otherwise they both sat, lost in their own thoughts.

“Do you want food?” Spencer asked after a while. “I don’t think I could eat but I can get you
something if you want.”

“Nah, I’m good with beer. Want another?”

Spencer shook his head. He shouldn’t have had the second one as it was - he had been feeling
queasy even before having the alcohol on an empty stomach. Ethan shrugged and got himself
another, throwing the cap on the coffee table before collapsing back down onto the couch.

The afternoon progressed in silence, broken only here and there by the sound of a bottle cap
being opened or a progressively drunker Ethan knocking over an empty bottle. Spencer didn't
say anything to his friend - everyone grieved in different ways. He found himself starting to
nod off and he curled his legs up onto the couch so he could cushion his head on the armrest.

He woke sometime later in the darkened room. The sun had set and the only light came from
the kitchen. He squinted around, trying to figure out what had woken him, when he heard the
sob. Ethan was curled next to him, and his body was shaking as he cried. Spencer didn't say
anything - he just gathered his friend into his arms and held him, much as Aaron had done for
him. He was surprised he hadn’t cried more himself, but that one night seemed to be all his
grief had needed. It seemed to be coping now by having himself retreat inwards.

It was quite sometime later that Ethan had cried himself out. He clung to Spencer as his
sniffles subsided, and his body stopped shaking. Once he was done, Spencer gently pushed
him into a sitting position. “I think you should go to bed,” he said. “You need to get some
rest.”

Ethan just nodded and allowed himself to be led from the couch to the spare room. He
swayed a little on his feet, still drunk, but the two of them made it without him falling and
causing even further injury. Spencer pushed his friend onto the edge of the bed, and knelt to
remove his shoes and socks. He pulled the blanket back, and waited until Ethan had climbed
under it before he stood. He had turned to go when Ethan’s hand on his arm stopped him.
“Don’t go.” His eyes were pleading. “Please? I know you’ll be wanting to text Hotch, but I
just don’t want to be alone right now.”

Spencer nodded and sat down on the bed. “I’ll stay till you fall asleep.”

“Thanks. All I seem to think about when I close my eyes is how close I came to dying. I’m
worried if I go to sleep, I won’t wake up.”

“It’s natural to have such fears after what we went through.”

“I know that. But knowing it, and feeling it are two entirely different things.” Ethan
swallowed hard, and ran a hand over his face. “Fucking hell, Spence, I could have lost you. It
terrifies me how close we both came to death.”

“I don't think I was ever really in danger,” Spencer replied in a soft voice. “The only reason I
got hurt was because I stepped in front of Aaron. Toby went out of his way to keep me safe.”

“That bastard was so crazy that I don't know if that was purely by chance. You could have
been killed.”

Spencer hadn’t told Ethan everything that had happened - he had glazed over the part where
Toby had insisted he stay in the office, so he didn't contradict his friend. Instead he said “But
I wasn’t, and neither were you. We have enough to process without adding in the ‘what ifs’ as
well.”

“It’s just made me more aware of some things - things that I now realise since I almost lost
them.”

“What kind of things?”

Ethan’s black eyes met Spencer’s hazel ones and there was a fierce intensity in them. “Like
just how much you mean to me.”

Spencer grasped his hand. “You’re my best friend, Ethan. You mean the world to me as well.”

Ethan squeeze his hand tightly. “Do you ever think about that night? Do you ever regret that
we never took it further?”

Feeling himself freeze, Spencer hesitated before he replied. “I don’t think it was ever meant
to be more than just that night.”

Ethan pulled himself into a sitting position, bringing their faces so close together that Spencer
could smell the beer on his breath. “What if it was, though? What if we’ve passed up the
greatest opportunity of our lives?”

“You’re drunk, Ethan, and not thinking clearly. I think you should get some sleep.” He lay a
hand on his shoulder and tried to push him back down onto the pillow.

Grabbing his wrist, Ethan instead pulled them closer together. “Being drunk has nothing to do
with my feelings. I love you, Spencer, and I want to be with you.” He crushed their lips
together, pulling on the back of Spencer’s neck, not letting him go.

Spencer pushed against his chest, and twisted his face away, breaking the kiss. “For fuck’s
sake, Ethan, stop!” He wrenched himself away, standing up from the bed so quickly that his
head spun for a moment. “What the fuck? I’m with Aaron now. What the hell are you
thinking?”

“You’ve known him for a whole week, it’s not like it’s serious.”

“It’s serious for me! What are you playing at?”

Ethan ran a hand through his hair. “Are you saying you don’t love me?”

Spencer groaned, and rubbed at his eyes. “Of course I love you. But not in that way. I love
you like a brother.”

“And yet that didn't stop you from fucking me,” Ethan snarled.

“That was years ago, and looking back, maybe it was a mistake. Look, I don't want to talk
about this anymore. Goodnight.” Spencer stormed from the room and went to his own
bedroom, closing the door behind him. He paced around the room for a while, before
flopping onto the bed. He had no idea what had just happened, and it was freaking him out.
He pulled his phone from his pocket, but there was no message waiting for him. He fired off
a quick text.

SR - I really wish you were here right now.

He changed into his pyjama bottoms and climbed into bed. He hadn’t brushed his teeth but he
didn’t want to leave the safety of his room and risk running into Ethan on his way to the
bathroom. He would wait an hour or two until it was safe to assume his friend was asleep.
AH - What’s wrong? Has something happened? Do you need me to phone?

Spencer left out a long breath as the response came through. He felt the back of his throat
burn as his eyes began to well. He knew if he actually spoke to Aaron he would end up
bawling his eyes out.

SR - It’s just been a hard day. No need to phone, just texting is enough.

AH - We’ve just wrapped the case up and will be heading to the airport in about an hour. I
should be back about 2am. If you need, I can come straight to yours?

SR - Please, I really need to feel your arms around me tonight.

AH - Of course, babe. Anything you need.

AH - I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there for you today.

SR - You caught the unsub?

AH - Yeah, and got to his latest victim before he could kill her.

SR - Then you were exactly where you needed to be today. I’m a big boy - as much as I wish
you were with me today, I know how important your work is.

AH - How’s Ethan doing?

SR - I’m really pissed at him right now, and it’s not something I want to tell you about over a
message. I’ll tell you in the morning.

AH - Of course. I’d better get going - the sooner I finish up here, the sooner I’ll be home.

SR - Text me when you get here and I’ll make sure the door is unlocked.

AH - Will do. Try and get some sleep, yeah?

SR - I’ll try, but can’t make any guarantees. Safe flight, Aaron. See you soon.

AH - :-*

*****

Despite thinking it impossible, Spencer did eventually drift off to sleep. He’d waited until the
apartment had fallen completely silent and had crept to the bathroom to brush his teeth and
take out his contacts before snuggling into his bed. His phone was next to his pillow and his
eyes snapped open as it chimed. The clock read 2:17am.

AH - Just parking the car.

Spencer rose, threw on a t shirt and moved on quiet feet to the front door. He unlocked it, and
stepped into the hall. It wasn’t long before the door to the stairwell opened and Hotch
emerged. He didn't even wait for him to walk the short distance to his door - he flew down
the hallway and threw himself into Hotch’s arms, capturing his mouth in a feverish kiss. The
go bag fell to the ground as Hotch wrapped his arms around Spencer, one hand snaking up to
wrap itself into his curls, the other clasping the small of his back. “I missed you,” Spencer
breathed against the warm lips still pressed to his.

Hotch didn't reply, just deepened the kiss, his tongue slipping inside to dance with Spencer’s.
They stood for several minutes in the hallway, making out like teenagers until they finally
broke apart. “If my pants get any tighter, I think they may split open,” Hotch whispered as
they stood with their foreheads pressed together.

Spencer chuckled softly. “We couldn’t have that. Mrs Johnson who lives next door is 93. If
she happened to see that, it might be the death of her.”

“At 93 I’d hope she would be in her bed at this time of night.”

“Mrs Johnson keeps her own hours. Anything is possible.”

“Well in the interest if Mrs Johnson’s continued longevity, shall we take this inside?”

Kissing him once more, Spencer nodded. “Just remember I have a house guest. We’ll have to
be quiet.”

Hotch grabbed his bag and they went inside, Spencer locking up behind them. Once in the
bedroom, Spencer wasted no time in starting to peel off Aaron’s clothes, his nimble fingers
making deft work of the tie, then slipping the suit jacket from broad shoulders. He draped it
over the chair before starting on the buttons of the shirt. Hotch undid his cuffs so once the last
button was undone Spencer was able to pull the shirt off. He wrapped his arms around Aaron,
his fingers splayed over shoulder blades as he leaned in to press against Hotch’s already kiss-
swollen lips. He could feel Hotch’s hardness pressing against him and he reached down to
undo the belt and button, then pushed the trousers down slim hips.

A fully-clothed Spencer soon had a very naked, very erect Agent Hotchner standing in front
of him, and he dropped to his knees and darted his tongue out to lick a stripe up the underside
of his cock. Hotch moaned from above him, and wove his fingers into Spencer’s curls, his
thumb massaging circles into the sensitive spot behind his ear. Spencer wrapped his hand
around the base of the shaft, and swallowed him until he felt his lips hit his hand. He bobbed
up and down, using his tongue to press against the silky skin. He reached up with his free
hand and took hold of one of Hotch’s hips, holding the man steady as he bucked beneath the
ministrations.

“You feel so good,” Aaron murmured, and then groaned as Spencer hummed around him.

Releasing his hand from the shaft so he could take Hotch deeper into his mouth, Spencer
reached down and cradled the heavy balls below, feeling the weight and the heat of them,
before moving a finger further back to stroke along the perineum. He heard a groan from
above, and hips bucked forward of their own accord, causing the tip to hit the back of his
throat.

“Fuck, sorry, so sorry, didn't mean to do that,” Hotch gasped.

Spencer smiled around the shaft, then removed his lips, licking up the sides. “S’okay,” he
murmured, before twirling his tongue around the head. “I love making you react like this.”
He swallowed him again, hollowing his cheeks as he moved up and down, up and down. He
could hear the heavy breaths from above, and just as Hotch started to tense, he pulled off and
stood up, kissing as he went until he reached those damnable lips. Hotch was still breathing
hard and Spencer took advantage to plunge his tongue inside, ravishing the hot mouth of his
lover.

“I want you so much,” Hotch told him, pulling back.

Spencer hesitated, doubt in his eyes.

“I want you to make love to me,” Hotch clarified, reading the emotion that flickered across
Spencer’s face.

Spencer swallowed, and nodded. “I’d like that, very much.” He opened the side drawer and
pulled out the lube and a condom, and placed them on the nearest pillow. Hotch lowered
himself onto the bed and lay down, his eyes full of trust and desire as he watched him.
Spencer pulled his t shirt over his head and shimmied out of his sleep pants, before crawling
onto the bed. He hovered above Hotch, pressing a hand to his chest. “Just tell me if I do
something wrong.”

“Of course. Just take it slow - it’s been a long time since I’ve done this.”

Spencer nodded, and picked up the lube, coating his fingers liberally. He moved to kneel
between Hotch’s legs, and after warming the lube between his fingers, he stroked the leaking
cock a few times. He saw the moment that Hotch relaxed, and then moved his fingers down,
and rubbed small circles around the tight hole. Hotch's eyes fluttered closed at the sensation,
and he let out soft moans. Emboldened by the reaction, Spencer pressed one finger slowly
inside, feeling it press past the ring of tight muscles. He slipped it in and out for a minute or
two, while his free hand stroked up and down Hotch’s stomach and thighs.

After feeling the muscles relax more and more, he slipped the finger out and added more
lube, before inserting two fingers. He rotated the digits slightly as he plunged in and out,
stretching the man as he went. Hotch gasped suddenly, and his hips bucked up from the bed.

“Did I hurt you?” Spencer asked, freezing.

Hotch shook his head. “God, no, the complete opposite. You found the sweet spot.”

Smirking, Spencer began to move again. “Let’s see if we can find it some more then.”

The more he moved, the more he learned which motions, and angles resulted in Hotch
writhing and crying out for more. He added even more lube and soon there was no resistance
at all.

“I think I’m ready,” Hotch said from above.

Spencer removed his fingers, and pressed kisses up Hotch’s stomach and chest until he
reached his mouth. He licked playfully at his lower lip, before kissing him soundly. Spencer
broke away and reached for the foil packet on the pillow. He opened it and rolled the condom
onto his aching cock, and squeezed more lube on top. He then lined himself up and pushed
the head of his cock inside. He paused to allow Hotch to adjust to the sensation, and then a
pressure on his arse from Aaron's ankles told him to continue. He moved in further, feeling
himself bottom out and completely surrounded by tight heat.

“Fuck me, you feel amazing, Spencer.”

Spencer looked down at his lover below him, could feel the arms wrapped around him, and
the sensation of being surrounded, and he felt his breaths start to come in quick gasps.

“Spence? Are you okay?”

Squeezing his eyes shut, he nodded. “Yeah, just give me a minute. It’s a little overwhelming.”

He concentrated on his breathing, trying to slow it down, to stop hyperventilating. He felt

Hotch remove his arms from around him, and he felt some of the panic subside. He counted
out his breaths, in and out, in and out, until he reached fifty. By then, they had slowed to a
regular rate, and he opened his eyes. Hotch was looking up at him with a look of concern,
and Spencer could tell it was taking everything he had to not touch him. “Thank you,” he
breathed, grateful for the consideration. He leaned forward to close the gap, and brushed a
kiss across his lips. “I’m okay now. I’m so sorry.”

A hand reached up to caress his face. “Don’t be sorry. You gave me fair warning that
something like this might happen. I’m sorry if I rushed you.”

He shook his head. “No, you didn’t. I just wasn’t quite prepared for how it would feel to
suddenly become part of someone. But I’m okay now. Thanks for being so understanding.”

Hotch pulled him down for another kiss, deep, and slow, their tongues flicking against each
other. Spencer had become semi flaccid during his panic attack but he felt himself get hard
again as they kissed. A hand moved up and down his back, before settling on his hip. He
began to move, a slow, steady rhythm as they continued to kiss. He heard Hotch gasp as he
hit his prostate and he tried to match the angle so he hit it as often as he could. Now that he
was accustomed to it, the tight heat enveloping him felt amazing. His pace began to increase
as their sweat slick bodies brushed against each other. He buried his face in Hotch’s neck,
sucking at the spot where his neck met shoulder. Their breathing came in soft pants, as
pressure began to build for both of them. Hotch cried out first, spilling his release between
them. The constricting of the muscles around him sent Spencer over the edge a moment later,
and they lay, holding each other as they got their breaths back.

“God, Spence, that was so good. Thank you,” Hotch said with a kiss.

“Thanks for being so patient with me,” he said, climbing off the bed and removing the
condom. He pulled on his sleep pants and went to the bathroom, bringing back a wash cloth
and cleaning off his lover.
They snuggled into bed together, Spencer fitting himself against Hotch’s body. He felt
relaxed, and safe, and he began to sink into sleep. “Thanks for coming tonight,” he
murmured, before sleep took him.

“Anything for you, babe,” Hotch replied.

Spencer fell asleep, a smile on his lips.

*****

They woke after only a few hours sleep, and decided to take a shower together. It seemed to
involve not much getting clean, and lots of kissing and caressing, and was one of the more
enjoyable showers that Spencer had ever taken. In a feeble attempt at shower etiquette, he
poured a generous amount of body wash onto his hand and began to soap up Hotch’s torso.
He found his hand wandering further south however, and soon he was grasping Hotch’s rock
hard cock. His eyes fluttered closed under the spray of the shower and he concentrated on the
feel of the silky skin in his palm as he moved in steady strokes up and down the shaft. Hotch
bent down to kiss Spencer’s neck, working his way to the sensitive spot behind his ear. He
moaned softly as his felt Hotch suck on his earlobe, hot breath against his neck. A lightly
calloused hand joined his own, and then once it was coated in soap, it reached out to take
Spencer’s own aching cock.

“Mmmm, so good,” he gasped as the felt a thumb circle the head of his cock.

“You make mornings so enjoyable,” Hotch said, before nipping at his neck. He kissed his
way up Spencer’s jaw and then to his mouth, he tongue licking against his bottom lip.
Hotch’s hand worked itself in firm, steady strokes up and down, twisting a little on each
upwards stroke so his thumb swiped at the tip. His other hand trailed up to Spencer’s chest,
rubbing a nipple to hardness before moving up to the grab a handful of wet hair.

Spencer’s breath came in short gasps as he felt himself get closer and closer. He cried out
against Hotch’s mouth as he came, his shoulders curling him inwards against the firm chest
pressed against his. He felt a hand join his, and together they stroked Hotch to completion as
well.

Both a little breathless, they rinsed off before stepping from the shower. Spencer handed
Hotch a fluffy towel, stealing a kiss as he did so. “Thank you,” he whispered.

Hotch smiled, and reached up to unstick a strand of hair that was plastered against Spencer’s
cheek. “Thank you.”

They had just finished drying off when there was a knock at the bathroom door. “Spencer?”
Ethan called. “Can we talk?”

Spencer huffed. “Can it wait?”

“No, it can’t. Look, I’m sorry about last night. I was drunk, and not thinking. I’m sorry. I
shouldn’t have kissed you.”
One of Hotch’s eyebrows shot up and he mouthed at Spencer, “He kissed you?”

Spencer slapped a hand to his head, and squeezed his eyes shut. “This really isn’t a great time
to be having this discussion, Ethan.”

“I need to clear the air. I know you’re super pissed at me, and you have every right to be. And
I shouldn’t have done what I did. I’ve been suppressing those feelings for you for a long time,
and I guess seeing you with Aaron and then the shooting...well it just made me realise that I
want us to be together. I know I went about it the wrong way, but can you just consider the
possibility that we could be together? ”

After wrapping a towel around his waist and ensuring Hotch had done the same, Spencer
opened the door, revealing a disheveled looking Ethan. It was obvious he had just gotten out
of bed. He opened his mouth to speak and then shut it when he noticed Hotch standing
behind Spencer. His eyes widened and he subconsciously took a step backwards. “I, I
di...didn't know you were here,” he stammered.

“Obviously,” Hotch remarked.

“You weren’t supposed to hear those things…”

Hotch stepped up behind Spencer and wrapped his arms around his waist possessively. “And
yet I did.”

Ethan’s eyes darted to Spencer’s. “When did he get here?”

Spencer huffed again. “He got in last night, and came here because I asked him to,” he
answered the question left hanging in the air. “Look, Ethan, I told you last night, I’m not
interested in a relationship with you. You’re still my best friend, and always will be, but that’s
all we’ll ever be.”

“But -”

“No. No buts, Ethan.” Spencer’s eyes softened. “Look, I get it. The last week has been
horrific, and we’ve helped each other get through it. I think these feelings you have aren’t as
real as you think they are. Your world has been rocked and I’m something stable that you can
cling to. But that’s it. Can you see that?”

His head lowered, and Ethan shrugged. “Maybe. I’m sorry I disturbed you.” He turned and
crossed the hall to the spare room, shutting the door behind him.

Spencer sighed, and he and Hotch returned to his own bedroom. He opened his mouth to
apologise but was silenced with a kiss. “What was that for?” he asked once they broke apart.

“Just because.” Hotch said with a smile.

“Are you mad at me?”

Hotch frowned. “Mad at you? Why would I be mad at you?”

Spencer sat on the edge of the bed, and twisted his fingers together. “Because Ethan kissed
me. After what you said the other night when we were texting…”

Hotch at down next to him and took his hands in his. “And judging from that conversation,
you stopped him and made him aware that you didn’t welcome it. There’s no reason to be
mad at you.”

“Are you mad at Ethan?” Spencer chewed on his bottom lip, his eyes full of worry.

Hotch reached up and pulled the lip from between his teeth. “Will you stop biting your lip,”
he chastised gently. “You’ll make it bleed. And I’m a little mad at Ethan. Mainly because he
upset you. I’m not sure that what he’s feeling is entirely transference - I think he does have
some sort of romantic feelings for you - but I can’t fault him for that because I see exactly
what he does.” He gave Spencer a kiss and then rose and crossed to his bag. “I do rather think
that you’re going to have a bit of an awkward day though.”

Spencer groaned and flopped back on the bed, pulling a pillow over his head. A minute later
he felt the bed shift as Hotch knelt on it and the pillow was pulled from his face. He saw that
Hotch was dressed in a polo shirt and jeans.

“I have to go. I’ll have to head home and get changed before I head into the office.”

“You got in so late last night - do you really have to go to work?”

“Unfortunately. We get a late start, but that’s the only concession.” He leaned down and
kissed the pout on Spencer’s lips. “As much as I would love to stay here with you, I really
have to go.” His hand trailed down the milky skin of Spencer’s chest and stomach and rested
just above the towel still wrapped around his waist. He let out a soft moan and leaned down
to kiss just above his belly button. “Dammit, Doctor Reid, you make it so hard to leave you.”

“I didn't say anything,” Spencer protested.

Hotch gave him a wry smile. “You didn't have to. You’re lying sprawled on the bed, looking
thoroughly debauched after our romp in the shower, and all I want to do is rip off this towel
and ravish you.” He sighed. “But I can’t. I really have to go.”

“Will you be back?” Spencer tried to keep his voice even, but it still sounded like pleading all
the same.

Hotch crushed their lips together, before standing to go. “Wild horses couldn’t keep me
away,” he said, then added “A wild unsub, maybe, but not by choice.”

“I’ll keep my fingers crossed that you don’t get a case.”

“Have a good day, Spencer.”

“You too, Aaron. See you tonight.”

 Chapter 13
Chapter Summary

An awkward day turns a little bit nasty

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Heaping sugar into his coffee, Spencer listened intently to the sounds coming from the other
end of the apartment. He was sure he could hear Ethan stirring, and he was dreading what
came next. He didn't want to lose their friendship, but he also wasn’t going to allow his
childhood friend to come between himself and happiness. Growing up, Spencer had always
known he was different. Being different was usually a good thing - his intelligence, memory,
and empathy had always served him well. But when it came to his awkwardness with
physical attachments, he knew that it hampered him. If he considered himself asexual, or
even demisexual then he wouldn’t have worried, but he did feel attraction to others. He just
had never been able to act on it without his brain having a meltdown.

But now he had found someone with whom he was comfortable with. Sure, there had been
moments - like last night - where he’d had his anxiety pushed to the limits, but that had
quickly passed. He had never before been able to simply be with someone like he could be
with Aaron. And he had so desperately wanted that his whole life. Now that he had found
him, there was no way he was letting that go.

Ethan had been there for him when he’d needed him most. Spencer couldn’t imagine feeling
any less love for him than he would if they were actually related by blood. He would do
almost anything for Ethan - but he knew that ultimately his happiness would depend on him
refusing his friend the one thing he asked of him.

Would he feel differently if he hadn’t met Hotch? Maybe. But would Ethan had declared his
feelings for him if Spencer wasn’t suddenly unavailable? Sure, Aaron was a super smart
profiler who could read people with his eyes closed, but Spencer still wasn’t convinced that
Ethan’s feelings were one hundred percent genuine. He very much doubted that there would
have been a declaration of love if the object of his affections was now something that could
not be reached. He still believed that a lot of it was just Ethan confusing their longterm
friendship and intellectual connection with something deeper in the wake of a traumatic
event.

Sighing, Spencer slid onto one of the stools at the breakfast bar that served as his dining table
in the small apartment. He sipped at his coffee, his eyes distant, as he lost himself in his
thoughts. He let his mind wander to the events of last night and he caught himself smiling.
Aaron had wanted Spencer to make love to him. Even in his night of experimentation with
Ethan, Spencer had been the bottom - Ethan had needed to be in charge. He had always just
assumed that if he was ever in a relationship, that would naturally be his position. He wasn’t
domineering, or an alpha male, and so he’d just thought that the natural progression would
pan out that way.

Aaron though had wanted Spencer to become part of him. He didn’t feel that it was a threat to
his masculinity, he didn't need to be in control, or have all the power. He had opened himself
for Spencer, and allowed them to become so much more intimate than Spencer would ever
have wished for. He had treated Spencer as an equal, and hadn’t even blinked about it, almost
as if it was the normal thing to do. The fact that this came as somewhat of a shock to Spencer
indicated that perhaps he needed to reevaluate how he saw himself, and allowed himself to be
treated by others, in all aspects of his life.

He was pulled from his reverie by Ethan entering the kitchen. His friend paused, then went to
the cupboard to retrieve a mug so he could get coffee. He kept his eyes averted the entire time
and didn't speak. Spencer knew that Ethan wouldn’t broach the subject himself, and if it
wasn’t mentioned, then it wouldn’t be discussed. Knowing that it was the coward’s way out,
but not feeling at all up for such a heavy discussion at that time of morning, Spencer made
the decision to keep silent on the matter. He chose instead to talk about what their plans were
for the day. “We have our appointments at the Wound Clinic this morning at 11. We need to
stock up on groceries so we’ll have to pop by the store on the way home.”

“Sure.” Ethan didn't add anything else, and took his coffee back to his room with him.
Spencer let out a breath, not realising he’d been holding it during the short interaction. He felt
like a shitty friend, but he was relieved when Ethan had hidden himself away. It was going to
be a very long day indeed.

*****

There was a snip and another pinch, and Spencer held back a wince.

“One more and we’re all done,” the nurse told him as she hovered over him with the suture
removers.

He felt another pinch, and the odd sensation of the thread pulling from his skin, and reached
up to rub his arm. The scar underneath was tender, but no longer sore, and was more itchy
than anything else.

“You’ll still need to be very careful with the area.” The nurse smiled at him, her eyes
wrinkling. She blew a strand of grey hair from her eyes as she bustled around the small room
in a businesslike fashion, crossing to the sink to remove her gloves and wash her hands. “It’s
healed very well, but with areas such as the arms that tend to get knocked around quite a bit,
you just need to be a little extra cautious. It would take quite a bump to reopen the wound,
but it’s not unheard of.”

“Thanks. I’ll make sure I’m careful.”

She smiled again. “Anytime, love. You take care now.”

Spencer heading into the waiting room and sat in one of the plastic chairs. Ethan’s dressing
change was going to take a little longer, so he pulled out his phone to pass the time. There
was a message flashing on the screen from Morgan.

DM - Hey, Pretty Boy! How you feeling?

SR - Not too bad. Just got the stitches out. How are you?

DM - Drowning in paperwork. But it’s good to have an office day once in awhile.

DM - I was thinking of dropping round tonight - I can bring food. That okay?

SR - I’d love to see you. Ethan is staying with me, and Hotch is coming round as well so as
long as you don’t mind getting enough for everyone?

DM - No problem. Though it’s going to be a bit weird seeing you and Hotch together…

DM - I mean, you know I’m cool with it, right? It might just take me a little while to adjust to
him being ‘relationship’ material.

SR - Yeah, I get that it’ll be a bit hard for you to see him in a different light. I appreciate you
not freaking out.

DM - Alright, well I see you tonight. Catch you.

SR - See you tonight.

Spencer smiled, happy that Morgan would be coming round. Not only did he want to see his
friend, but he hoped that he would act as a buffer for the tension that was sure to occur with
both Ethan and Hotch in the same room.

SR - Hey, thought I’d give you the heads up that Morgan is going to come round tonight.

AH - No problem. Do I need to pick up some dinner on my way over?

SR - All good, Morgan is taking care of that.

AH - How’s the arm?

SR - Humpty Dumpty is officially back together again.

AH - Good to hear. Try not to get anymore cracks.

SR - But that would mean I wouldn’t have any owies to have kissed better :(

AH - Terms and conditions do not apply to kisses - I’m happy to bestow them on areas that
have no owies.

SR - That’s very generous of you.

AH - It’s just the sort of person I am. Just like I’m the sort of person who didn't run with the
very obvious pun you set up...

SR - ???

AH - Something along the lines of me kissing your crack…

SR - Aaron!!! You’re making me blush and people are looking at me!

AH - That’s because you’re adorable when you blush.

SR - You’re incorrigible.

AH - And you love it.

SR - Maybe…

AH - I’d better get back to work before I get totally distracted by the images now going
through my brain. Luckily I’m behind my desk…

SR - Behave Agent Hotchner!

AH - Never!

AH - See you tonight :)

It was only a few more minutes before Ethan finished up, and if he noticed a residual flush on
Spencer’s cheeks, he didn't mention it. They made their way to the car, and then headed to the
closest store.

“What do we need?” Ethan asked as Spencer grabbed a basket. It was the first time he had
initiated conversation all day.

“Morgan is coming around tonight and is bringing dinner, so I thought we could get some
snacks for that. We also need more cereal, milk, and I need shaving cream.”

They pottered around the store, filling their basket with even more items that they
remembered they needed once they’d seen them. Afterwards, Spencer insisted they stop at a
diner for lunch, not wanting to have to make food when he got home. The lack of sleep from
the previous night was catching up with him and he hoped he could have a nap before their
guests arrived. Ethan spoke little over lunch, and when he did, it was snippy and curt.
Spencer got a horrible feeling that the evening might not quite go as smoothly as he’d hoped.

*****

Spencer peered through the peephole and saw that it was Hotch standing outside. He was
pleasantly surprised, as he’d expected Morgan to arrive first. The Unit Chief must have
managed to leave on time for once with the rest of his team. He opened the door with a smile
plastered on his face. “Hey, come in.”
Hotch stepped into the apartment and leaned into the kiss that Spencer gave him. His
eyelashes fluttered as Spencer wrapped his arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. The go
bag over his shoulder had not escaped Spencer’s notice and he couldn’t contain his happiness
at knowing that Hotch wanted to spend the night again. Hotch’s free hand went to the small
of his back and pressed them closer together, and he found himself getting harder by the
moment.

There was a cough from behind them. “Maybe you two should get a room?” Ethan griped.

They broke apart, and Spencer cleared his throat. “Sorry, Ethan. Um, can I get you a drink or
anything while you pop your bag away?” he asked Hotch, slightly breathless.

“Sure. A beer would be great if you’ve got it.” Hotch crossed to the bedroom and put away
his bag while Spencer opened them all a beer. “How are you feeling?” Hotch asked Ethan
politely as they took seats on the couch. “You two had your follow up appointments today?”

Ethan shrugged, and sat down in one of the armchairs. “I’ll live.”

“How long until you can return to work?”

Ethan didn’t reply, just offered another shrug, so Spencer answered. “Next week we have
mandatory counselling sessions scheduled, and after those they’ll make their evaluations,
obviously taking into consideration medical recommendations. The department is opening up
again next week though so those not injured are having their sessions this week so they can
start back up.”

“Looks like they’re doing their best to take care of you.”

“You really think so?” Ethan asked sharply. “More like they’re trying to cover their own
arses. Tobias had had numerous complaints made against him and they ignored them all. I’d
be surprised they didn't get sued.”

Hotch’s eyes narrowed. “From my understanding of the complaints filed against him, there
would be no grounds to sue the university as such concerns would not have pointed to a
violent reaction. You’d really need to look at how he was treated by people such as his
colleagues and co-workers to understand the stressor.”

A knock at the door prevented Ethan’s response and Spencer jumped up to answer it. Morgan
was laden with pizza boxes. “Morgan! It’s great to see you!”

“You too, Reid.” Morgan put the boxes down on the coffee table before pulling him into a
hug. Spencer smiled, happy that Morgan was one of the people whom his brain allowed him
to get close to. Morgan then nodded to Hotch, and clasped hands with Ethan. “Good to see
you, man. How you doing?”

“As well as can be expected,” Ethan replied, his tone much friendlier.

Spencer went to the kitchen and grabbed a beer for Morgan and plates for everyone. He
handed out the plates and after loading his own with a couple of slices he took a seat next to
Hotch on the couch. Morgan started a conversation with Ethan about a tv show they both
watched, and he started to relax as the tension in the room began to settle. Hotch lay a hand
on his knee, and Spencer placed his own on top, giving it a squeeze. They finished dinner,
and the conversation evolved naturally over the next couple of hours until they were talking
about Morgan’s next renovation project.

“How’s Jack doing?” Morgan asked Hotch once the topic about interior decorating had run
its course. “He’s still away with Jess?”

“Yeah, he’s doing great. I spoke to him just before I came over and he’s been having a lot of
fun getting to know his second cousins.” Hotch smiled. “I don’t think he wants to come home
just yet, but the reunion wraps up tomorrow morning.”

“I’m sure he misses his dad.”

Hotch laughed. “He does, but I also make him go to bed on time. When he doesn’t have
school, Jess lets him stay up pretty late. He doesn’t like it much when I make him go to bed
early.”

Spencer grinned. “Proper geniuses know the importance of going to bed at an appropriate
hour.” He tried to catch Ethan’s eye to share their private joke, but his friend refused to look
at him.

“So what do you have planned with him on the weekend?” Morgan asked.

Hotch slung an arm over Spencer’s shoulder. “I’m hoping we can introduce him to Spence. I
was thinking we could all go to the museum.”

Spencer smiled, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I’d like that very much.”

“Oh man, Jack‘s gonna love that,” Morgan enthused. “Do you know how much Reid knows
about dinosaurs?”

“Considering how much he knows about everything in general, it doesn’t surprise me that
he’s an expert on dinosaurs as well,” Hotch remarked, giving Spencer a fond smile.

“I’m sure Jack will love hearing about battles between T. Rexes and Velociraptors.”

“Actually, those two species would never have interacted,” Spencer corrected Morgan.
“Velociraptors lived in what is now Mongolia 75 to 71 million years ago, whereas
Tyrannosaurus lived on the island continent, Laramidia, which is now North America 68 to
66 million years ago. Even if they had lived at the same time, and in the same place, it’s
highly unlikely that they would have ever fought. Velociraptors were actually very small -
less than half a metre high, and weighing no more than 15 kilos. Tyrannosaurus on the other
hand could be as tall as 4 metres at the hips, and their weight would be measured in tonnes,
not kilos. Velociraptors would have been nothing more than an inconvenience for the T. Rex.
The misconception seems to have arised from -” He stopped talking as he noticed the looks
he was getting. Ethan seemed bored, Morgan amused, and Hotch almost proud. “Sorry.
Rambling again.”
 “Don’t apologise,” Hotch told him, giving him a squeeze on the knee. “I’m always amazed
by what comes out of your mouth.”

“He does have a good mouth, doesn’t he,” Ethan sneered at Hotch. “It’s a very talented,
pretty little thing. Has he done that thing with it yet? The thing that makes your knees go
weak.”

Spencer lay a hand on Hotch’s arm, stopping him from responding. “Ethan, that’s enough.
Aaron is my guest, as are you, and I expect you to treat him with the same respect he’s shown
you.”

“So I should start fucking Morgan then?”

“For crying out loud, will you cut it out?”

“How bout it, Morgan? Fancy a round?”

Morgan had frozen, his beer bottle halfway to his lips as he tried to decipher the tension in
the room.

“Ethan, I swear, if you don’t stop this right now you’re going to really piss me off. You’re my
best friend, and I love you, but you can only push me so far.”

“Oh, so now you say you love me!”

“You know what I mean,” he huffed.

“For fuck’s sake, Spencer, stop being so fucking schizo!”

The room fell deathly silent. Spencer felt like he had been punched in the guts, and he fought
to get a breath.

“You didn’t just say that,” Morgan gasped at Ethan.

Ethan’s face had paled, and his eyes became pleading. “Spence, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“Get out.” He said it quietly but it carried the weight of a thousand vengeful Gods.

“Please, Spence, really, I didn't mean to say that. I’m sorry.”

Spencer stood from the couch and pointed at the door. “GET OUT!” He didn't wait to see if
Ethan complied - he ran to his room and slammed the door behind him.

Chapter End Notes

Ooooh, it got a little bit mean! Poor Spencer :( Let's all hug him better, hey?
 Chapter 14
Chapter Summary

Spencer deals with the fallout from Ethan being a dick

The door opened and shut and the bed shifted as someone climbed onto it. Spencer lay curled
on his side in the dark, still breathing hard. An arm wrapped around him and pulled him
close, and he breathed in the scent of Aaron’s cologne.

“Morgan is taking Ethan home,” he told him quietly, stroking a hand over his shoulder.

Spencer didn't respond, but closed his eyes as relief washed over him.

Hotch was silent, pressing the occasional kiss to Spencer’s hair. “I’ve never seen Morgan so
angry before,” he said after a while. “I honestly thought that he was going to punch Ethan.”

“Good.”

“There’s obviously some history there that I don’t know about, but I want you to know, you
don’t have to tell me, unless you want to.”

Spencer opened his mouth to reply, but instead a sob escaped and he rolled over and buried
his face in Hotch’s chest. Hotch held him close as he cried, not pushing for answers, but just
offering comfort.

After a few minutes, Spencer pulled away and wiped at his eyes. “I’m so sorry. I don’t think
I’ve cried as much as I have in the past week since I was eighteen.”

Aaron brushed away a lock of hair from his face, and followed it with a kiss. “There’s no
weakness in crying. You’ve had an extremely stressful and emotional week.”

“I know, but you seem to be bearing the brunt of that.”

Hotch smiled. “I don’t mind at all.”

Spencer sighed. “Why is it that the people we care most about in the world are the ones who
hurt us the most?”

“That’s the balance I guess. We allow people in, and they get to know us so well that they
don’t just know how to make us happy, but know exactly where to hurt us too.”

“I don’t know if I can ever forgive him.”

“You’re upset, and I’m sure you have every right to be. But don’t be too hard on him. Ethan
has had as hard a week as you - perhaps even more so. Whereas you’ve at least had the
positives of starting a new relationship, he’s had to also deal with rejection.”

Spencer shook his head. “I still don’t think his feelings for me are real.”

Hotch pulled him back into his arms. “As the profiler in the room, I disagree. I think you’re
too close to the situation to see it clearly. I’ve been trained to recognise emotional responses,
and it’s clear to me that Ethan genuinely believes he’s in love with you.” He pressed a kiss to
Spencer’s lips. “You don’t need to decide tonight what to do anyway. Give it a few days for
you to cool down, and for you to process everything that’s happened. You don’t want to
throw away a life long friendship in the heat of the moment.”

“Maybe.” Spencer looked up at Hotch, and ran a long finger down his cheek and along his
jaw, enjoying the comfort of being so close to him. “I guess now is as good a time as any to
tell you about my family.” He closed his eyes, feeling it easier to speak without having to see
Hotch’s reaction. “My mother suffers from schizophrenia. She spent most of my childhood
medicated, and it was a big part of the reason why my father left us. It fell to me to look after
both of us but eventually it got too much for me and I had to have her placed into care. That
was the most heartbreaking thing I have ever done, but I knew that it was the best thing for
her. And for me, as selfish as that sounds.” He sighed. “I am very similar to my mother, and
I’m sure you’re aware that there’s a genetic component to the disease. They believe that it’s
very possible that through the bloodline individuals can inherit a greater risk for
schizophrenia. If I am predisposed to the disease I’m getting to the age where symptoms
should start to develop. Ethan knows all of this. He saw firsthand the struggle I had growing
up, and how hard it was to have her placed into care. He also knows how scared I am at the
possibility of getting it myself. He could have said anything else in anger and I would have
brushed it off, but that phrase? That’s what was unforgivable.” He fell silent, and kept his
eyes closed.

Hotch’s hold on him tightened as he was hugged. “I’m so sorry, Spencer. I now understand
your reaction.” He placed a hand under Spencer’s jaw and tilted his head up so he could kiss
him. “I still think it a good idea to not make any rash decisions. But just know that I’ll be
here for you, whatever you decide.”

Spencer finally opened his eyes, and saw only empathy and concern in his lover’s eyes.
“Thank you,” he said, kissing Hotch again. “What you say makes sense, especially
considering I also work with Ethan. I won’t rush into anything.”

“That’s all I ask,” Hotch said with a smile. “You ready for bed?” he asked as Spencer
yawned.

Spencer nodded, and tried to push away the evening’s events from his mind. Instead he chose
to concentrate on the strong arms around him, and the knowledge that he was with someone
who cared for him.

*****
Spencer spent the first part of the following day moping around his apartment. He was still
hurting from the fight with Ethan, he hadn’t wanted Aaron to go to work, and he was still
exhausted after a restless night. By mid-morning however even he could see how silly he was
being. He finished his daily letter to his mother, explaining that he and Ethan had had a
falling out, but not going into the details. During her lucid moments, Diana Reid was full of
guilt for how her condition had affected her son’s childhood, and there was no way that
Spencer would add to that with this. After finishing it, he decided he needed to get out and so
he grabbed his messenger bag and headed out to post the letter and browse some book shops.

He stopped at a small cafe for lunch and as he waited for his order he pulled out his most
recent book purchase. It was a book on the most common dinosaurs and it was meant as a gift
for Jack. He hoped that he wasn’t being presumptuous - he didn’t have much experience with
kids but he knew that most people only bought gifts for children they’d never met before if it
was for their birth, or a birthday. The way that Aaron had spoken though had fuelled his
confidence. He had been enthusiastic about Spencer meeting his son - in fact he was picking
Jack up from his aunt’s place after work and he had suggested that Spencer join them for
dinner, and then stay the night. They would head to the museum first thing after breakfast and
then see where the day led them. This had led Spencer to the conclusion that a small gift
wouldn’t be taken the wrong way at all.

His phone chimed and he smiled when he saw the message was from Hotch.

AH - I have a half hour reprieve from meetings for lunch. I’m not looking forward to going
back in there.

SR - Can I assume that the Champion of Change is giving a speech on Coffeegate?

AH - No I am not.

AH - I still haven’t forgiven you for that by the way.

SR - I still don’t see how it was my fault.

AH - The only good to come from that incident is we’ve increased the revenue of the local
coffee houses. I’m sure they’re happy with the increased business.

SR - Every cloud has a silver lining.

SR - :-D

AH - I don’t know if your cheekiness makes me want to spank you or kiss you. Maybe both.

SR - Interesting. Would you be wearing your dress?

AH - I could if you wanted.

SR - That holds a certain appeal.

AH - You’re not anywhere near as innocent as you make yourself out to be, Doctor Reid. I
find that very intriguing.
SR - You’re a bad influence on me, Agent Hotchner.

AH - So it’s all my fault?

SR - I wouldn’t say there’s fault to be had. That implies blame. I’d say you’re my inspiration.
That implies mutual exploration.

AH - And again I’m glad that I’m sitting behind my desk.

SR - You’re faring better than me then. I’m at a cafe with only a glass table to hide behind.

AH - So you’ll be there for a while then?

SR - I’ll take my time over coffee.

AH - I’ll leave you to...decompress then.

SR - Very funny. Enjoy your meeting.

AH - See you at 6?

SR - Will do x

*****

The elevator opened and Spencer stepped into the hall. He looked about and then turned to
the right, following the door numbers until he came to Aaron’s apartment. He took a deep
breath before knocking, trying to keep his nerves under control. Who would ever have
thought that meeting a six year old would be so terrifying? It wasn’t long before a shadow
crossed behind the peephole and the door was opened. Hotch stood before him in jeans and a
plain blue t shirt, with a tea towel slung over one shoulder and a wide smile on his face.

“Hey,” he said, stepping aside. “Come on in.” Spencer stepped across the threshold and
looked around for Jack but couldn’t see him. The door was closed behind him and he felt a
hand on his hip. He turned and Hotch pressed a kiss to his lips. “How are you doing?”

Spencer shrugged. “Okay.”

Hotch cupped his cheek and rested their foreheads together briefly. “Well I hope that we’ll
get you feeling better than okay soon enough.”

“I’d like that,” he replied, feeling his lips quirk.

He was led through the living area and into the kitchen, where he placed his overnight bag on
a stool in front of the breakfast bar.

“Jack!” Hotch called down the hallway. “Come and meet Spencer.”

There was the sound of running feet and a small human appeared in the kitchen and just as
quickly hid behind his father. A small face peeked out from behind Hotch’s hip.
Hotch smiled fondly at his son and ruffled his hair. “He’s a little shy around strangers,” he
explained. “Enjoy it while it lasts because as soon as he gets comfortable around you, there’s
no way to shut him up.”

“Dad!” The face turn to glare at his father.

Aaron grinned. “Jack, this is my friend, Spencer. Are you going to say hello?”

The face disappeared behind his hip again, but poked out briefly to mutter, “‘lo.”

“Hi, Jack,” Spencer said, kneeling down in front of them. “Want to know a secret?” he asked
in a conspiratorial tone.

The face appeared again, and nodded.

“I’m shy too.”

Eyes widened.

“I’m super scared right now,” Spencer continued.

“Me too,” Jack whispered. “Why are you scared?”

“I’m scared of meeting you.”

“Me? But I’m not scary.”

“I’m scared you won’t like me and I very much want to be your friend. What are you scared
of?”

“You,” came the reply in almost a whisper.

“Why are you scared of me?”

“Because I don’t know you, and one time a man I didn't know came over and he made my
mommy go away.”

Spencer glanced up and saw the look of heartbreak that flickered across Hotch’s face. “That’s
a really good reason to be scared, Jack,” he said. “But your daddy knows me so I might be a
stranger to you, but not to your daddy. And do you know Morgan?” He had a feeling the boy
would have met the whole team at some point.

Jack nodded. “I like Uncle Derek. He gives me aeroplane rides.”

Spencer smiled broadly. “Your uncle Derek is one of my best friends.”

“Really?”

“Really. How about your daddy calls Derek and you can ask him all about me.”

The boy looked up at his father. “Can I?”

Hotch smiled. “Of course you can, buddy.” He pulled out the phone and dialled Morgan’s
number. Spencer heard the tinny sound of Morgan’s voice answer and Hotch explained the
situation. After a moment he passed the phone to Jack who listened very closely. Every now
and then he would look to Spencer.

“Okay, Uncle Derek,” Jack said. “I’ll put Daddy back on.” He passed the phone back to
Hotch who also thanked Morgan and then said goodbye.

“Does that make you feel better?” Hotch asked.

Jack nodded. “He said you’re funny. You can do magic and know all about dinosaurs.”

Spencer grinned. “Funny he should mention that. I got you a present.”

“Really? For me?”

“Yep.” He pulled the book out of his messenger bag and handed it to the boy. “It’s a book all
about dinosaurs.”

“Cool! Daddy, can we read some now?”

“Sure, we can read for a little bit before dinner. Why don’t you go sit on the couch and I’ll
help Spencer put his things away.”

Jack ran off into the living room, and Hotch leaned in to brush his lips across Spencer’s.
“That was very nice of you. You didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to.”

“Would you like to stay with me tonight or would you feel more comfortable in the spare
room?” His voice was even but he couldn’t hide the hopeful look on his face.

Spencer smiled. “I’d very much like to sleep with you.”

Hotch’s answering smile took Spencer’s breath away. “Come on, we’d better pop your bag
away. Jack gets impatient if I take too long to read to him.”

As if on cue, Jack called from the lounge room, “Dad! Come on!”

They laughed and Spencer followed Hotch from the room, feeling much less nervous about
the evening than he did an hour ago.
 Chapter 15

Spencer looked up as Hotch walked back in the room. “That didn't take as long as I thought,”
he commented.

“The week with his cousins has exhausted him more than you’d think,” he replied, sinking
onto the couch and twining their fingers together. “He’s ridiculously excited about tomorrow,
but he was asleep almost as soon as he lay down.”

After dinner, they had spent some more time reading Jack’s new book. Jack could read
almost half of the words, and Spencer had patiently helped him with the ones he struggled
with, and taught him how to sound out the unfamiliar dinosaur names. He had spent very
little time with children, and really only had his own childhood to compare to (which wasn’t
a fair comparison anyway), so he didn't really know if Jack was on par with children of his
own age when it came to his reading level or slightly ahead or behind. The boy was attentive
and interested though so Spencer dismissed the instinct to categorise, and instead just
focussed on the task at hand. Jack relaxed as the evening wore on, becoming more and more
comfortable around Spencer, even getting to the stage where he sat right up close as they
read. Spencer had looked up at one point to see Hotch smiling at him, which he returned only
a little self consciously.

“How are you feeling?” Hotch asked, interrupting his train of thought.

Spencer didn't have to ask what he was referring to. He shrugged. “Still a bit upset, but
tonight has really helped. He hasn’t tried to contact me, which has also helped.”

“I didn't expect him to. From the sounds of it, Morgan gave him a pretty tough talk as he
drove him home.”

Spencer sighed. “I know, Morgan rang me after lunch to check up on me. He’s as protective
of me as a big brother and it sounds like he got his point across.”

“I hope so. I hate to admit this, but my desire to beat Ethan to a pulp is rather high. It’s harder
than I thought it would be to resist it.”

Spencer chuckled. “You’d have to fight Morgan for that honour I think. And as much as I
appreciate the sentiment, I’d rather neither of you were brought up on charges.”

“I guess it would be rather hard to explain to my boss.” Hotch gave a wry smile and
shrugged. “Hopefully some distance will give you the time you need to process everything.”
He squeezed his fingers and used their joined hands to give a vague gesture. “And what about
this? How are you doing?”

Spencer smiled and leaned his head on Hotch’s shoulder. “This is great. I’ve not felt so happy
in...well, to be honest, I don’t remember if I’ve ever been this happy.”

“You’re not feeling too overwhelmed or rushed?”

He laughed. “Aaron, I promise, you’ll know if I am. But thanks for checking anyway.”

Hotch rubbed his thumb in circles on the back of Spencer’s hand. “I just want to do this right.
I don’t want to scare you off by being too overbearing.”

He stretched his neck up to press a kiss to Hotch’s cheek. “You are not being overbearing,
you are not rushing me, and you will most assuredly not scare me off.” He turned and
climbed onto Hotch's lap and linked his arms around his neck. “In fact, there’s nowhere else
I’d rather be right now.”

Hotch pressed against his lips, chaste at first but as Spencer took a quick breath, he used the
opportunity to plunge his tongue into his mouth. Spencer moaned a little, and darted his
tongue out to dance with Hotch’s.

“Actually, I may have lied,” Spencer said breathily as they broke apart. “Maybe there is one
other place I’d rather be right now.”

Hotch grinned. “I think we may both be thinking the same thing.”

“Bedroom?” they both said at once.

Hotch laughed. “You read my mind, Doctor Reid.”

“You know what they say - great minds think alike.”

“Shall we?”

Spencer nodded and shifted to climb off of his lap. Hotch had other ideas though. He moved
his arms under Spencer’s arse and stood up, pausing to allow him to get a tighter grip around
his waist with his long legs. He kissed Spencer again, walking blindly towards the bedroom,
and managed to avoid bumping them against any walls. They reached their destination and
using his foot, Hotch shut the door behind them.

“Will Jack - ?” Spencer didn't have breath for more words as they continued to kiss each
other.

Hotch shook his head a fraction. “Out like a light, and he always knocks.”

He moved towards the bed and turned so when they fell onto it, he was pinned by Spencer.
Wasting no time, Spencer leaned over him so they could continue kissing - deep and slow
kisses that had them both panting for more. Hotch ran his hand under Spencer’s shirt,
brushing feather light caresses up and down his spine. Long, slender fingers pulled up the
hem of his shirt and tugged at it impatiently. Hotch obliged and sat up to lift his arms above
his head so the shirt could be pulled off him. He did the same for Spencer and marvelled at
the pale expanse of soft skin that was deposited in his lap. “You are, by far, the most glorious
thing I have ever seen,” Hotch whispered as he ran his fingers over said skin.

Spencer blushed. “You don’t get out much, do you?”

Hotch’s eyes narrowed. “I know you don’t have the highest self esteem, but by the time I’ve
finished with you, Doctor Reid, you will not only know, but you will also believe just how
damn sexy you are.”

Spencer didn’t reply, just captured Hotch's mouth in another kiss. His hands roamed as far as
he could reach over his body and his cock throbbed in need. “I want you so much,” he
panted.

Hotch leaned over and opened the drawer next to his bed, pulling out a bottle of lube and a
condom. “I’ve been thinking of having you inside me again every minute since the other
night,” he said, pressing kisses up Spencer’s neck.

“You don’t mind?” There was hesitancy in his voice. “I don’t want you to think that you have
to just because I’m not ready yet. We can do other stuff.”

“Why would I mind? Who has made you think that being on the receiving end is something
to be ashamed of?” His eyes narrowed. “Don’t answer that. Pretty sure I know.”

He bit his lip. “It’s not that he made it sound shameful, it’s just that the more dominant person
seems to be on top.”

Hotch rolled them so he was now straddling Spencer. His expression was gentle but there was
an intensity to it that made Spencer’s heart race. “I can have your cock in my arse just as
easily from up here,” he growled. “In fact, the angle makes it feel amazing.” He kissed along
his jaw, and nibbled on his ear lobe. “But I want you to know, Spencer that I don’t consider
myself to be the dominant person in this relationship. Relationships like that don’t work.
Both people need to be considered equal.”

“But you’re an alpha male.”

“So? Alpha doesn’t mean better. It’s just a simple way of packing up all my characteristics
into a neat little box. It just means different.” He gave him a steady look. “Now can we please
stop discussing psychology so you can hurry up and fuck me?”

Spencer allowed himself a bashful laugh. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make things awkward.”

Hotch scooted downwards and took Spencer’s cock in his mouth. He worked it for a few
minutes until Spencer was hard, aching, and begging for more, and then popped back up with
a smirk on his face. “There, we seem to be back where we started.”

Spencer picked up the lube and squeezed some onto his fingers, making sure he rubbed them
together to warm it. He reached down and found the tight entrance to Aaron’s hole and
pressed a finger inside. His lover sank down onto the finger and moaned, his eyes closing at
the sensation. Spencer took hold of Aaron’s hand and moved it to his cock. “I want to see you
touch yourself,” he directed. Aaron took hold of his cock and began to stroke it in an
alternating rhythm to the finger that was pleasuring him. As soon as Spencer felt the muscles
relax, he inserted a second finger, loving the way he felt around him. Both were impatient
and didn’t want to waste time with needless prep so Spencer rolled the condom on and soon
Aaron was sinking down onto his cock, his hand still working at his own.
“Oh, fuck me,” Spencer gasped. “You have no idea how incredible you feel.”

Hotch put a hand to the back of his head and pulled him close for a kiss. “Oh, I think I do.”
He ground down onto his lover, moaning when that sweet spot inside was found.

They moved against each other, breaths coming in short gasps, and hands never still - always
touching, caressing, exploring. Spencer placed his hand over Hotch’s, learning how he moved
and what felt good so he’d know for the next hand job. He felt Hotch tense and then he was
spilling his release over Spencer's stomach. Spencer gasped as the muscles contracted around
him and he thrust upwards, chasing his own orgasm. Aaron grasped him by his hips and held
them in a bruising grip, riding him hard “That’s it, baby, just like that,” he said encouragingly
as Spencer writhed beneath him.

Spencer had no breath for words as he felt himself get closer and closer. He squeezed his eyes
shut, his mouth falling open as he concentrated on how amazing Hotch was making him feel.
He felt a hand leave his hip and a moment later there was a slight pressure at his hole as a
finger circled around it. “Oh, fuck, Aaron! ” he cried as he came, his whole body shuddering
and his breaths coming in deep gasps.

Aaron slowed his movements as Spencer rode out his orgasm, and then leaned forward so he
could take him in his arms. “Was that okay?” he asked, worried that the surprise fingering
might have been unwelcome.

Spencer laughed. “That was amazing, so yes, more than okay.” He kissed the lips in front of
him. “I know what you’re thinking, but it was fine. You didn’t even breach me. And you
know I’m not opposed to it, it’s just a bit much to think about all of you in me.”

“Well, I’m sorry because I should have warned you.”

“Don’t be sorry. Most of my anxiety comes from overthinking things. Something like that, in
the heat of the moment, that just happened naturally doesn’t worry me. Besides, did you miss
the part where I came as soon as you did it?” He pushed at Hotch’s chest. “Now stop
squishing me so we can clean up. We have a very busy day ahead of us tomorrow and we
should get some sleep.”

Aaron snapped off a salute. “Yes, sir!”

“Don’t be cheeky. It’s hard to pull it off when we’re both covered in bodily fluids.”

Hotch laughed, and extended his hand to Spencer, leading him to the shower.
 Chapter 16
Chapter Summary

Our boys have a day at the museum

Breakfast was done and dusted, and they were about to leave for the museum. Well, they
were supposed to be leaving for the museum. That had been the plan anyway. Spencer was
discovering though that when a child was involved, all plans went out the window.

“Dad! I can’t find my other shoe!” Jack hollered.

“They were next to your bed,” Hotch called back from his place in the kitchen. He was
packing up snacks for the three of them into a backpack. “Check in case it got pushed under
the bed.”

“It’s not there!” came the shout a moment later.

Hotch sighed, and zipped up the bag. “I’ll just be a moment,” he told Spencer, and went to
help his son hunt for the missing shoe.

Spencer went to the bookcase and browsed the titles. Most were crime thrillers and he picked
one of the more interesting looking ones and sat down to read. In the time it took for Jack to
find his shoe, brush his teeth, decide he wanted to take his Avengers bag instead of his
Superman bag, find his cap, and then pack everything up, Spencer had finished the novel
he’d picked up, plus half of another.

“Sorry,” Hotch mouthed to him as he sat Jack down by the door to now put his shoes on.

Spencer smiled and shrugged, standing to collect his messenger bag.

“Cool! Dad, Spencer is wearing different socks! Can I do that too so we can be matching?”

“We wouldn’t exactly be matching, Jack,” Spencer told him. “To be matching, we’d have to
be wearing the same different socks as the other. In this case we’d just be both wearing odd
socks.”

Jack gave him a confused look, and then turned back to his father. “Can I?”

“Fine,” Hotch said, giving in. “But be quick. We really need to go.” The boy ran off to his
bedroom, and Hotch turned with an apologetic smile on his face. “He doesn’t really
understand about if it’s a true match or not, he just wants to be the same as you because he
likes you.”
“Really?”

He stood and stepped close to give Spencer a kiss. “Isn’t it obvious?”

“Erm, no? I really haven’t had much to do with children.”

“Well, you’re a natural. I’m sure though that you’re learning just how long it takes to do
anything with a six year old in tow.” He ran his fingers down Spencer’s jaw and along his
neck, bringing them to a stop so they were resting against his collarbone. “The delays do
have their advantages though.” He kissed him again, sweet and gentle, before pulling away as
he heard Jack coming back. He turned to his son and saw that he now had different socks on
both feet, and neither of them were the ones he’d been wearing before. He smiled to himself
as he noted they were the closest he owned in colour to the ones that were on Spencer’s feet.

Soon they were locking up and heading down towards the car, but then Jack realised he’d
forgotten to pack the book Spencer had given him. They went back for the book, and then
Jack said he needed to use the bathroom before they went. All in all it was another twenty
minutes before they were all belted in and driving towards the museum. Spencer made a note
to make the first stop there at the cafe for more coffee.

Once they reached the museum, and Spencer was re-caffeinated, the day started to go more
smoothly. Jack was interested in everything, and peppered Spencer with questions, who was
more than happy to share his knowledge. If his explanations ran too long, Jack would lose
interest. Spencer soon understood that it wasn’t because Jack was bored with what he was
saying, but he just had the attention span of a six year old. He would run off to the next cool
exhibit that took his fancy and he’d be begging for interesting facts about that.

The museum got much busier later on in the morning, and Spencer had some trouble zoning
out the noise. He didn’t fare well in crowds, and even though it wasn’t packed, the noise
made it sound like it was. Children ran from one side of the large room to the other, their
voices echoing as they yelled, squealed, or cried. He redoubled his efforts to focus solely on
Jack, and found if he took the boy’s hand in his, it made it much easier.

Just before lunch, Hotch found a bench seat and sat down, watching as Spencer explained to
Jack about meteorites. There was only so much time he could spend looking at rocks, and for
once, Jack’s attention span was outlasting his own. He may have been growing bored of the
exhibit, but he didn’t think he’d ever get bored of watching his son and lover interact.
Spencer’s face became animated as he explained about the birth of the universe, and the
small boy grinned as he was caught up in his enthusiasm.

“It’s exhausting, isn’t it?” a voice asked from beside him.

Hocth tore his eyes away from Spencer and Jack and noticed a woman had sat down next to
him on the seat. She looked to be in her early forties, and was dressed casually, but in a style
to accentuate her lush figure. The buttons of her polo shirt were all opened, giving a hint of
the curves below, and her white jeans were figure hugging. Waves of blonde hair were
spilling down her back, except for one lock that she was playing with, twisting it around her
finger.
“Pardon?” he asked, not really sure if she’d been speaking to him.

The woman gestured around the room. “I said, days like this are exhausting. You look as tired
as I feel.” She gave a small tinkle of a laugh. “But it’s worth it, isn’t it? To see our kids
happy.”

Hotch smiled. “Yes it is. How many do you have?”

She pointed to the opposite side of the room to a pair of twin girls who looked to be about
eleven. “Just the two, but they’re double trouble. If I hadn’t given birth to them myself, I’d
swear they just appeared from The Overlook Hotel.” She smiled fondly at her girls. “Little
terrors, but they keep me going.”

“They do have their uses.” Hotch laughed.

“How many do you have?”

Hotch pointed to where he could just see Jack’s face. He and Spencer were looking at the
model of the solar system, and they were both mostly hidden by Saturn. “Just the one. That
little boy over there.”

“I wonder if it’s true what they say? That boys are more of a handful in the first ten years, and
then girls turn into monsters for the next ten?”

“If it is, then I only have another four years till I’m home free. Looks like your ten years of
hell are just beginning.”

She pouted. “I’m not looking forward to that. Raising twins by yourself is hard enough as it
is. Adding puberty into the mix might push me over the edge.”

“At least we got lucky in the fact that we don’t have the opposite gender to our kids,” Hotch
noted, enjoying the impromptu parenting talk. Other than the other parents of Jack’s soccer
friends, he didn’t know many people with kids. “I’d hate to have to explain all of that stuff to
a daughter. It would be awkward for both of us. Though I’d most likely have handballed it to
the aunt,” he said with a wry grin.

The woman laughed. “True. Although at the age they are, any conversation is awkward, so
I’m not sure if it could get any worse.” Her expression turned sad. “Though I think I’d take
an awkward conversation anyday over some of the hard ones I’ve had to have with them.”

Hotch’s eyes softened. “I think I know exactly the sort you mean.”

“The ‘why did Daddy go to heaven?’ talk?”

He sighed. “About his mother, but yeah, that one.”

“I hadn’t thought my heart could break any more after losing my husband, but I was wrong.
Telling Amy and Julia…” she trailed off.

“How old were they when their father died?”

“Eight. What about your boy?”

“Jack was four when Hayley died. I worry that he’ll lose all his memories of her since he was
so young.”

They fell silent for a few minutes, both watching their own children. The twins had made
their way over to the solar system display and along with several other children, were
listening to Spencer. “I’m so sorry,” the woman apologised after a while. “You probably
weren’t expecting to have a morbid conversation with a stranger today.”

Hotch shook his head and gave her a small smile. “It’s fine.”

“I’m Pat, by the way.” She extended her hand and Hotch shook it.

“Aaron.”

“Well it’s lovely to meet you, Aaron. Would you be interested at all in catching up for a
coffee sometime?”

“Oh. I’ve really enjoyed our chat, but, well, you see, I’m not…” His face turned red as he
tried to turn her down gently.

She placed a hand on his arm, cutting off his spluttering explanation. “It’s okay. Everyone
moves on at a different time. I won’t take it personally.” She looked over at the twins and
changed the subject. “They seem fascinated. I’ll have to make sure to leave a compliment for
that curator. He’s very hands on and interactive.”

Hotch gave a small laugh. “Spencer doesn’t work here. He’s just knows about everything and
enjoys sharing his knowledge. Jack has been draining his brain like a vampire all day.”

“Oh. You and he…?”

“Yep.” Hotch grinned. “I know, I’m one lucky guy. He’s amazing.”

“I’m so sorry,” Pat apologised. “I didn’t know you were taken. I hope I didn’t offend you.”
She looked over at Spencer and smiled. “He looks like quite the catch.”

“Not at all. It’s very flattering. And I meant what I said - I’ve really enjoyed our talk. I don’t
get to chat to other parents all that often, especially ones who are in a similar boat to me.”

She smiled and pulled a pen and paper from her bag, scribbling down her number. “Well, the
offer of coffee and a chat is still on the table. It’ll just be a platonic table.”

“I think I’ll take you up on that offer.”

She stood as her girls made their way over, and smoothed down her shirt. “It’s been a
pleasure, Aaron. Please give your partner my thanks for entertaining my children.”

“I will. And I’ll message you sometime about that coffee.”

She gave a small wave as she and her girls made their way from the exhibit hall. Hotch stood
and crossed to Spencer and Jack. “How’s the birth of the universe going?” he asked them.

“Dad, did you know that we used to have a ninth planet? But then they said it was too small
and not really a planet so it got taken away.”

He laughed. “Yeah, buddy, I know all about Pluto. He’s not been driving you crazy?” he
asked Spencer.

Spencer smiled at Jack, and ruffled his hair. “He’s been really well behaved.” He winced as a
small girl behind them started throwing a tantrum, screaming loudly. “Unlike some.”

“Ready for lunch?”

“Sounds good, I’m starving,” Spencer said, as he glanced over to see the father of the little
girl struggle with the screaming toddler. “Shall we get something at the cafeteria?”

Hotch didn’t respond, distracted by the scene behind them. He knelt down and lifted up the
hem of one leg of his jeans. “Spencer, take Jack to the other side of the room,” he said, his
voice low and urgent.

“What’s wrong?” Spencer asked, picking up on the tone of Aaron’s voice.

“Please, just take him.” Aaron stood, revealing a small gun he’d pulled from a hidden holster.
He pulled out his ID and raised the gun, moving across the room to where the man was
carrying the girl towards the exit. “FBI!” he yelled. “Put the child down!"
 Chapter 17
Chapter Summary

Hotch goes full sexy-FBI agent.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

As Hotch moved towards the man carrying the screaming toddler, gun out, several things
happened almost in unison. Spencer scooped Jack up into his arms and hurried behind a pillar
to protect him; several people screamed; a panicked couple had come running into the hall;
and the man with the child froze at the gun trained on him, but shifted his arms until they
were holding the little girl in a deadlock.

“FBI! I said put the child down!”

“Sally!” cried one of the women who had rushed into the hall. Her partner held her back, her
eyes on Hotch.

“Mommy!” the little girl screamed. Spencer was glad to know that the deadlock wasn’t
cutting off her air supply. “I want my mommies! Let me go!”

“I said put the child down!” Hotch repeated. “You don’t want to do this.”

“She’s my daughter! I’m allowed to see my own damn daughter!” the man yelled, tightening
his grip on the girl.

Spencer felt a hand on his cheek, and he looked down to see Jack giving him a sympathetic
look. “Don’t worry, Daddy will save her.” He realised that the way his eyes had widened, and
his breath had sped up could have been mistaken for fear by the child. He couldn’t exactly
explain to him that seeing his dad go into full FBI mode was turning him on.

“If you don’t release her, you’ll spend the rest of your life in prison,” Hotch told him. “Is that
how you want your daughter to remember you? To remember the time she spent with you?
To see you only from the other side of some plexiglass?”

The man’s face crumpled, and yet he still didn’t let the girl go. Sally was struggling against
him, continuing to cry out for her moms. The two women clung to each other, tears streaming
down their faces as they watched their daughter struggle.

Security guards were swarming into the room, covering off the exits. In the distance was the
wail of sirens.
“You have nowhere to go,” Hotch told the man. “Just let Sally go.”

“No! I have a right to see her! I never let her near the drugs. I wouldn’t hurt her. They had no
right to stop me seeing her.”

Hotch’s eyes softened a little, but his hands remained as still as rocks on the gun. “I can see
that you love your daughter very much. That much is clear. But right now she’s very scared.
This doesn’t have to end badly, but you need to release her.”

The man’s face crumpled. “But I’ll never get to see her again,” he cried.

“Let her go. You know it’s the only way out of here.”

The man squeezed his eyes shut, and then bent forward and let Sally go. The child darted
towards her parents and the two women hugged her close. Hotch moved forward, and with
some zip ties supplied by one of the guards, secured the man. He didn’t resist, and lay on the
ground, sobbing.

“See, I told you Dad would save her,” Jack told Spencer very matter of factly.

Police were starting to arrive, and after the man had been properly cuffed and taken away,
Hotch crossed to where Spencer and Jack were standing. “Hey buddy, are you okay?” he
asked his son. “I hope I didn’t scare you.”

“Nope, I wasn’t scared at all, because I knew you’d stop the bad man.”

Hotch ruffled his hair, and Spencer caught the look of relief on his face. “I’m going to be just
a little while longer,” he told them. “I’ll need to give them a statement. Did you two want to
head to the cafeteria and get some lunch? I can meet you there when I’m done.”

“Sure,” Spencer said, still holding Jack on his hip, and fighting the urge to throw himself into
Aaron's arms. “Just one thing - how did you know?”

“Know what?”

“That he was trying to take her? I had brushed it off as a tantrum.”

Hotch shrugged. “I’ve seen hundreds of tantrums, and this one wasn’t quite right. The way
she was struggling - well, it was obvious she was scared, but he also was carrying her
awkwardly, like he didn’t do it often at all.”

“You knew from that?” Spencer was amazed.

“There were some other cues - it’s hard to explain, but I’ve had years of training in this sort
of thing.” Hotch looked over to where Sally and her family were. “I’m just glad I was here to
catch it.”

“I think we all are.” Hoping he wasn’t overstepping some boundaries, but unable to help
himself, Spencer stepped up to him and brushed a quick kiss to Hotch’s lips. “We’ll see you
soon.”
Hotch nodded, and with one last smile at both of them, went over to speak to the officer in
charge.

“So, are you hungry?” Spencer asked Jack.

“I’m starving.”

“Let’s go get some food.” Jack held on tighter to his neck, so Spencer took this as a sign that
he didn’t want to walk. It felt nice to have the little boy in his arms, and he hummed
contentedly as they walked to the cafeteria. It was a struggle to get through the crowd that
had gathered outside the big hall, hoping to get a glimpse of the commotion inside, but he
just concentrated on Jack and found his anxiety levels staying low. He was surprised at how
much the boy helped to ground him - it wasn’t something he would ever have thought of.

They joined the queue, and Spencer put Jack down so they could grab a tray. Jack helped
push the tray along the rails, and together they picked out some sandwiches and juice. Once
they had paid, they found a table near a wall, and sat down to eat.

“Are you Daddy’s boyfriend?” Jack asked, as he pulled the crust off his sandwich.

Spencer froze, his own sandwich halfway to his mouth. He put it back down on the plate, and
cleared his throat nervously. “Do you think I am?” All that was going through his mind was
Oh gods, how loud were we last night?

Jack shrugged. “He called you his friend yesterday when he told me you were coming over,
but I think he likes you lots, and I know you like him lots, so I think that makes you
boyfriends. ‘Sides, you kissed him.”

Oh thank fuck. “Yes I did, didn't I.” Spencer had been worried about a public display of
affection in case it had embarrassed Hotch in front of the officers - he hadn’t even stopped to
think that Jack wasn’t aware of their relationship. He hoped he wasn’t going to be stepping
on toes by having this conversation with Jack, but at least he didn’t have to explain what
those noises had been . “Do you mind if I’m your dad’s boyfriend?”

Jack shook his head. “I like you lots too. You know lots of cool stuff, and you make Dad
laugh.”

Spencer smiled. “I like you lots too, Jack.”

“Aunt Jess says if I eat my crusts I’ll get hairs on my chest, but I don’t want hair on my chest.
I like my chest the way it is. So don’t tell her, but I never eat my crusts.” And like that the
conversation was over. Jack had become very talkative, and nattered on about his cousins that
he had spent time with, and his friends at school, and his Aunt Jess, and how he liked Captain
America better than Iron Man but Davey at school was the other way round, but they both
rather liked Hawkeye too, even though none of their other classmates did, and that he didn’t
like PB&Js, he preferred peanut butter by itself, and Chris at school had a giant stick insect as
a pet, “And one time I got to go to his house and it sat on my hand and it was so cool but it
felt kinda weird, but it was really friendly and I’d never thought that stick insects could be
friends with you!”
“Jack, have you been talking Spencer’s ear off this whole time?” Hotch asked as he came
over to their table.

“It’s been an interesting conversation,” Spencer said politely. Truth be told, he was a little
overwhelmed.

“I told you that you should enjoy the quiet while it lasts. It seems to have come to an end.”

“We got you a sandwich,” Spencer told him, handing it over.

“Thanks,” he said, sitting down with them. He ate with one hand, and kept the other planted
on Spencer’s thigh under the table. It was a small gesture, and relatively tame, but the touch
sent electric shocks through Spencer’s body. Jack continued to tell them about his encounter
with the friendly stick insect up until he had finished his lunch. “Shall we head home?”
Hotch asked. “It’s been a bit of a crazy day.” Spencer noticed the worried look on his face,
and put it down to concern over Jack being subjected to the earlier situation.

“Can we watch a movie?” Jack asked.

“Sure, buddy, that sounds like a great way to spend the rest of the day. But you have to let
Spencer help pick it out, okay? It’s only fair.”

Jack gave Spencer a considering look, and then nodded. “I think Spencer will pick a good
movie.”

“I think so too. Now let’s get going.”

*****

The ended up watching two movies, one before dinner, and one after dinner. Spencer found
his attention diverted from the films more and more as the night wore on. The worried look
on Hotch’s face did not go away, but just got graver. He was doing his best to hide it, but very
little escaped the notice of a genius. It wasn’t just the expression that had flagged with him,
but the fact that he was in constant physical contact all night. They sat on the couch together,
his son in Hotch's lap, and an arm slung about Spencer’s shoulders for the duration of both
movies. While Spencer was glad that the contact was giving Hotch some sort of reassurance,
it wasn’t helping to reduce the urge to jump him and ravish the man. He tried to shove those
thoughts to one side. His lover was obviously worried about his son, and now really wasn’t
the time to be thinking with his cock.

“He’ll be okay,” Spencer told Hotch gently after Jack had been put to bed. They were
standing in the kitchen, clearing away the last of the dishes. “I know you’re worried about
him, but I don’t think it was as traumatic for him as you think it was.”

Hotch gave him a long, unreadable look, and then hung up the tea towel. “Come with me,” he
said, taking him by the hand and leading him to the bedroom. He climbed onto the bed and
rested against the headboard and gestured for Spencer to join him. He wrapped his arms
around him, pulling the slender body against him, and he nuzzled his face into his curls. “You
think I’ve been worried about Jack?”
 “It’s only natural to be concerned, but I really think he’ll be okay.”

“I know he’ll be fine. You kept him safe, and he didn’t see anything more violent than what
he saw in those movies.” He pressed kisses to Spencer’s hair. “I’m worried about you. It was
just over a week ago that you were caught up in a mass shooting and today you had to watch
me draw a gun on someone. Fuck. I’m so sorry, Spencer.”

“Oh!” Something in his chest tightened as he realised that Hotch’s concern had been all about
him. “I didn’t even think about that.”

The arms about him tightened and he felt Hotch tremble. “I don’t want you to be scared of
me,” he whispered, brokenly.

Spencer sat up and twisted around so he was facing his lover. “Aaron, I could never be scared
of you. I get why you’re worried - but you are nothing like Toby. You would never hurt
innocent people. You protect them. Guns themselves don’t scare me - it’s the way they’re
used.” He kissed him gently. “You make me feel safe.”

“Promise me you’ll tell me if I ever do something that makes you not feel safe?”

“I promise.” He lowered his eyes a bit shyly. “Can I tell you something?”

“Of course.”

Spencer turned around so he could climb onto Hotch’s lap and straddle his legs. He hooked
his arms about his neck and kissed him. “Watching you today...you were so sexy. I have been
having to fight all day to not jump you.”

“Is that so?”

“It is. I want you so much. And so you know just how safe you make me feel, I want to have
you inside me.” He kissed him again. “Make love to me, Aaron?” he asked softly.

There was a momentary flash of hesitation and then it was gone. Hotch kissed him back,
sweet and gentle. “Anything for you.”

Chapter End Notes

...I totally just did that!

*cackles*
 Chapter 18

Hotch held Spencer to him tightly as he kissed him deeply. As eager as he was to make love
to his genius, he needed to take it slow; to make sure that he didn’t overwhelm him. He knew
that Spencer had only ever done this once before, and from the sounds of it, it was quite a
few years ago. Essentially, he needed to treat this like it was his first time.

HIs fingers were splayed against Spencer’s chest, and he could feel the erratic heartbeat
below. As safe as Hotch made him feel, he was obviously still nervous, and the last thing he
wanted to do was cause Spencer to have a panic attack. He pressed one more kiss to
Spencer's swollen lips and gave him a gentle smile. “I have something for you that might
make this a little easier.”

Spencer gave him a questioning look, but allowed Hotch to climb from the bed and retrieve a
bag from the closet. He came back to the bed and sat on the edge of it, and Spencer was sure
he looked nervous. “I figured that these might help prepare you a little better than fingers,” he
said as he pulled the items out and handed them over.

Spencer accepted the items and saw it was a set of three plugs, all of varying sizes. He started
to laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Hotch asked, looking confused.

He pulled Aaron over to him, and ceased his chuckles, though his smile remained. “I’m sorry,
Aaron, I didn’t mean to laugh.” He kissed the slight pout on his lips. “This was really sweet,
and thoughtful of you. I’m guessing though that somewhere along the way, I’ve misled you.”
A flicker of doubt rippled over Hotch’s face, and he back peddled fast. “No, no, no, it’s
nothing bad! Aaah! I’m not explaining myself well at all.” Spencer rubbed at his face, trying
to gather his thoughts. “The reason I laughed is because these are the exact same plugs I have
at home. That I use.” He blushed. “Regularly.”

Understanding dawned on Hotch’s face. “Fuck, Spence, I’m sorry. Talk about jumping to
conclusions.” He looked sheepish.

“It’s not your fault,” he said with a kiss. “I guess I was so worried about having a panic attack
and making sure you knew about my anxieties, that I never really explained fully. I have no
issues with things up my arse, Aaron. I like my prostate tickled as much as the next guy, and
I’ve never been shy in having toys around to help me do that. It’s being so intimate with a
person that causes the panic attacks.”

Hotch nodded. “Yeah, I get that now, and I should have seen it right away.” He grimaced.
“Some profiler I am. I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions.”

Spencer shook his head. “Don’t be. It was really sweet of you.” He grinned cheekily.
“Besides, I’m sure they’re more fun to use with a partner.”

“Shall we find out?” Hotch asked.

“Please.” Spencer lay down on his back, and popped a pillow under his hips. Hotch’s hand
hovered over the plugs, and he gave him a questioning look. “Start with the medium one,”
Spencer told him. “I never use the smallest one.”

Hotch picked up the plug and coated it liberally in lube, then settled himself down between
the milky thighs of his lover. He kissed up Spencer’s legs and then also the underside of his
balls, making him moan. He grinned, and then pressed the plug against the tight entrance
before slowly beginning to work it inside. Spencer surprised him by grabbing hold of his
shoulders and using the leverage to push himself down on the plug.

“I’m not going to break, Aaron,” he panted between breaths.

“I just don’t want to hurt you,” Hotch explained.

“Trust me, I’ll tell you if you do.”

Hotch took hold of the base of the plug and pulled it out a little, then slid it back home.
Spencer was trailing his fingers up and down his chest and abdomen, teasing his skin. His
cock was aching, but he didn’t want to touch himself yet. He knew he wouldn’t last long and
once he’d come, he’d be much too sensitive to have Aaron inside of him. So his fingers
skirted around his leaking cock, working their way upwards to pinch and stroke his nipples.

Once the plug was gliding in and out easily, Hotch pulled it out completely and got the bigger
one. He slicked it up, and then slid it inside, watching as Spencer’s back arched.

“That feels so good,” Spencer said breathily. He moved his hips as Hotch wiggled the plug,
gasping as it hit the right spot inside of him. “Aaron, please, I want you.”

Hotch’s cock twitched at the words, sharing the sentiments. He gently removed the plug, and
knelt over Spencer to kiss him, while one hand reached into the drawer to pull out a condom.

“You’re so gorgeous,” he said, kissing down the long column of Spencer’s throat, and
flicking his tongue into the hollow at the base of it. “I don’t know how I got so lucky to find
you.”

Spencer wrapped his legs around Hotch’s waist, and squeezed him tightly. “You make me so
happy,” he said as he buried his face against Hotch’s neck. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather
be right now.”

Leaning back from the embrace, Hotch rolled the condom on and added more lube. Kissing
Spencer once more, he searched his face to make sure that this was exactly what he wanted.
He only saw want and desire there, no hesitation, and so he slowly pushed himself inside.

“Oh!” Spencer cried. He felt full, and surrounded at the same time, but the arms holding him
were gentle, and the kisses peppering his lips and skin were loving. He moved against Hotch,
rocking his hips, his hands clutching at strong shoulder blades. He gulped in lungfuls of air as
he felt the hard cock brush his prostate both on the way in and on the way out. His own cock
was trapped between them, and rubbed against their sweat slick skin, tugging gently as it
rubbed across the ridges of Aaron’s scars. The feeling was divine, and he made a mental note
to tell Hotch about that later. Perhaps it would override some of the angst the scars had left
him with…

Spencer pressed his feet against Hotch’s arse, urging him to thrust harder and faster. He
scraped his nails down those broad shoulders as exquisite pressure began to build in him,
radiating out from the touches to his prostate, to mingle with the intense feeling in his balls.

“Aaron, fuck, Aaron, feels so good, so good, fuck, Aaron! ” He squeezed his eyes shut as
wave after wave of pleasure rolled through his body as he climaxed. He heard Aaron grunt as
he came, and he collapsed back on the bed, his whole body shuddering. They lay against each
other, both breathing hard as they recovered.

“That was amazing. Thank you, Spencer,” Hotch said, giving him a quick kiss before he
pulled out and removed the condom. “Do you want to have a shower?”

Spencer gave him a wry grin. “I need one, but I think my body has turned into a big pile of
jello. I’m so wobbly I don’t know if I can stand.”

Hotch stood, and then bent over the bed, scooping his lover into his arms. Spencer laughed
and wrapped his arms around his neck, and nuzzled at his cheek. “My hero,” he said as he
was carried into the bathroom.

Hotch laughed, and lowered him onto the edge of the bath, and then started to run the shower.
Once the water was hot, he helped Spencer into the stall, his arms wrapped around his still-
trembling body. They stood under the spray, and Spencer allowed Hotch to soap him up. He
leaned against him, feeling cherished and cared for, a warm, happy feeling welling up inside.
The rollercoaster of the last week had left him feeling exhausted, but right now, he could
forget about all the bad bits, and just concentrate on the good. They finished their shower, and
were soon curled up against each other in the warm bed.

Spencer fell asleep with a smile on his lips.

 Chapter 19
Chapter Summary

Hotch gets called away for a case.

It was late when Spencer was roused from his sleep by a phone ringing. He heard Aaron take
the call, and a few short sentences later, he was rolling out of bed. The light in the wardrobe
flicked on and he could hear him dressing.

“Case?” Spencer asked sleepily.

A moment later the mattress dipped as Aaron knelt on it and leaned over his lover, brushing a
kiss to his temple. “Yeah, in Utah.”

“Jack?”

“I’ll wake him and drop him at Jessica’s place on my way in.”

Spencer roused himself enough to sit up, and yawned. “Why wake him? He’ll be okay with
me until morning, won’t he?”

Aaron looked torn. “Are you sure? I didn’t want to make assumptions.”

“I don’t mind at all.”

“I’ll phone Jess from the plane then, and ask if she can come pick him up around nine.” He
smiled in the dark and kissed Spencer again. “He already has a bag packed, so you won’t
need to do anything, just get him breakfast. Will you let him know that I’ll call him in the
morning?”

“Of course.” He took hold of the ends of the tie that was draped around Hotch’s neck and
deftly looped them together before pulling the knot tight. “Be safe.”

“I will. And, thanks again for looking after Jack.” He brushed his lips against Spencer’s again
and pulled the blanket up around his shoulders. “I’ll phone and text when I can.” He left the
room quietly, shutting the door behind him. Spencer shuffled across the bed into the warm
spot left by his lover, and buried his face in the pillow. Inhaling the soft scent of Aaron’s
cologne, he fell back to sleep.

*****

A knock at the bedroom door woke Spencer very early the following morning. His hand
reached out to feel for Aaron, but he remembered he’d gone just as he hit the cold side of the
bed. He felt a moment of melancholy, but knew that Hotch would be back as soon as he
could. He squinted through the pre-dawn darkness and could just make out Jack standing in
the doorway.

“Dad?” Jack asked.

Spencer sat up and fumbled for the lamp on the bedside table. “Sorry, Jack, your Dad got
called away on a case. He didn’t want to wake you.”

“Oh.” The boy hesitated for just a moment. “Can I come in you with for a bit? I had a
nightmare.”

“Of course you can.”

Jack ran across to the bed and quickly climbed up under the blankets. He snuggled down
against Spencer and wrapped his arms around him.

“Did you want to tell me about it?” he asked, hugging the boy to him.

Jack shook his head. “It’s just the one I usually have. Dad usually lets me come in with him
after. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all. Everyone needs a cuddle after having a nightmare.”

“Will Dad be away for long?”

“I’m not sure. He has to go interstate so I’m guessing it will be for at least a few days. He’s
going to call you though, and your aunt is going to come pick you up later on.”

“Okay.” Jack yawned, and rested his head against Spencer’s chest. “Can we sleep a bit
longer?”

“That sounds like a great idea,” Spencer told him, smiling at him. “Do you want me to leave
the lamp on?”

“Uh huh. Please.”

Spencer smiled, and hugged Jack tighter to him. As he was falling back to sleep it occurred to
him that maybe he wasn’t as bad with kids as he thought he was.

*****

They didn’t doze for much longer. The sun was just rising when Spencer decided to get up.
Jack had curled up in his sleep and had his knee pressed firmly against Spencer's ribs. Since
there was little to no padding on those ribs, Spencer found it to be rather painful. He eased
himself up, trying not to wake Jack, but he woke anyway.

“Are you getting up?” Jack asked, and yawned.

“I’m going to start breakfast, but you can stay and sleep for a bit longer if you want. I’m
making pancakes so it’ll take me a little while to get it all done.”

“Pancakes!” Jack shot out of bed in an instant. “Can I help make them? I’m really good at
making them!”

Spencer laughed at his enthusiasm and climbed out of bed himself. “Sure you can.”

With Jack’s help, they found everything they would need to make pancakes and it wasn’t
long before the boy was happily stirring the mixture. He chatted away while he did it, telling
Spencer more about his friends at school, and how he and his dad saw a giant dog last week,
and how Uncle Dave was the best soccer coach ever. Spencer sat with a bemused smile on
his face as he tried to follow the flow of the conversation, asking questions and trying to
participate when he could. He felt happy knowing that in two days, Aaron’s son had taken to
him so well, and actually seemed to like him. He hadn’t thought it possible that they would
be so comfortable around each other so quickly, but here they were, getting on like a house
on fire. It was still a little scary though that he’d so readily agreed to look after him by
himself, even if it was only for a few hours until his aunt... fuck.

Spencer felt his chest tighten. How had he not considered this? Aaron had told him all about
Jessica, and how she’d essentially become a surrogate mother for Jack after Hayley died, and
that she was a very important part of their lives. She was so intertwined with everything that
Aaron did, that Spencer had been worried about eventually meeting her, hoping to have her
approval. In his mind, it would happen months down the track, and he’d have had a chance to
cement his relationship with Aaron, and become accustomed to being a part of a family
again.

But now, in two hours he would be meeting her. Alone. Without Aaron.

His breathing shallowed, and Spencer tried to keep up with Jack’s conversation but his mind
whirred away. Had Aaron even told Jessica about them? Would she be prepared to meet him?
Or would she be on her guard, wondering who the hell the strange man was who was looking
after her nephew? Did she even know Aaron had been dating someone? Did she know he was
bisexual? How did she feel about that? Would she be upset that he’d been left to care for
Jack?

“Spence?” Jack asked, looking up at him with a worried frown on his face. “Are you okay?”

Coming back to himself, Spencer realised he was hyperventilating. He tried to nod and give
the boy a smile, but he was sure it came across as a grimace. “I’m okay. I’m just going to go
to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

He hurried to the bedroom, trying to control his breathing but he couldn’t slow it down. He
gasped in small mouthfuls of air, his chest getting tighter and tighter, and tears started to
stream down his face. How could this happen? How could he allow himself to have a panic
attack in front of Jack? No wonder Jessica would be furious that the boy had been left alone
with him - how could someone who fell apart so easily be able to look after a child? He
should never have offered in the first place. What had he been thinking? Had he really been
arrogant enough to think that this was something he could just waltz in and do with ease like
it was some academic assignment? He knew that he was horrid with children - why would
this be any different? And he’d failed horribly. Aaron would probably never want to see him
again after he discovered how pathetic Spencer was. Who would want someone who was so
fucking fragile that the thought of meeting a family member would turn him into a quivering
mess? He’d had one chance at happiness and he had blown it already.

Spencer tried to sit on the bed, but got up again almost straight away and started moving
again. It was so hard to breathe. Where had all the oxygen gone? His nose started to tingle
and he knew he had to get his breathing under control, but his body just didn't want to listen
to him. His hands were shaking so badly that he could hardly wipe the tears away from his
cheeks.

“Spence?” Jack asked from the doorway. He whirled around and saw the boy standing there
with a phone in his hand. “Dad wants to talk to you.”

He knew it! Jack had rung Aaron to tell him that Spencer had freaked out and he was going
to break up with him over the phone because of course this was unforgivable. He deserved
nothing less. He’d had two weeks of happiness and it was all coming to an end now because
Spencer had no idea how to interact like a normal human being. He couldn’t be surprised, but
that didn’t make it hurt any less. His chest got even tighter, and he gasped for air.

Aaron must have said something to Jack because the boy said, “Okay," and then pressed a
button on the phone. He walked over to the bed and sat on it, holding the phone in his lap.

“Spencer?” Aaron’s voice came over the speaker. “What’s happened?”

He couldn’t reply, couldn’t get the words out of his mouth, knowing what the response would
be. He didn’t want to be rejected, to go through the pain of hearing the words.

“Jack?” Aaron said. “Can you leave the phone and go into the kitchen for a bit?”

“But he’s crying, Dad. I don’t want to leave him.”

“Just give us a minute, okay? Then you can come back in.”

Jack sighed. “Okay.”

Spencer watched as the boy left the room, and then turned to stare at the phone like it was a
viper.

“Spence? Will you talk to me, please?” He could hear the concern in his voice, but of course
he’d be concerned that he’d left his son with someone so incompetent. “Please?”

He heard the pleading in that tone, and felt his heart break at knowing that it was his
inadequacies that had destroyed this for both of them. “I’m sorry,” he managed to whisper.

Aaron must have heard him, even though he’d said it so quietly. “Spence, you’re having a
panic attack, am I right?”

He let out a shaky laugh, and could hear the hysteria behind it. “You could say that.”
“Okay, I need you to breathe with me. Can you do that? You’re safe, love, nothing can hurt
you there, so there’s nothing to be scared of. Breathe in, and hold it. Okay, now let it out, all
the way. You’re going to be fine, Spence, I promise. Deep breath in, and out. Let it all out,
that’s it. You’re doing great, just listen to me, forget about everything else. Breathe in...and
out. You’re safe, I’m not going to let anything happen to you. Breathe in again, slowly, and
then let it all out.”

Spencer clung to the words Aaron was saying, following his instructions, and he gradually
felt the panic attack start to subside. He found his way to the bed, and sank down onto the
floor, his back against it as he continued to breathe in time with Aaron’s words.

“You’re doing great, babe. Breathe in, that’s it. And out. I’ve got you, okay? There’s nothing
to worry about. Breathe in. You’re okay, everything’s okay. And out. How are you feeling?
Any better?”

“Uh huh,” Spencer said, dropping his face into his shaking hands. “I’m so sorry, Aaron. I’m
so sorry I let you down.”

“You’ve done nothing of the sort. Let me guess - Jess?”

Ah of course. He had profiling super powers. “Yes.”

“I’m so sorry, Spence. This is my fault. I didn't even think.”

“It’s not yours, it’s my fault. I’m so pathetic. No wonder you won’t want me anymore.”

“Spencer!” His tone was sharp. “Stop that right now. I’ll never stop wanting you in my life,
so you tell those anxieties of yours to shut up, okay?”

The door opened and Jack peeked in. He saw Spencer sitting on the ground and he ran across
to him, throwing himself into his arms. “Ooof,” Spencer said as the child collided with him.

“Are you okay?” Jack asked.

“Jack! I told you to wait in the kitchen,” Aaron said sternly.

“It’s been longer than a minute,” Jack whined.

“It’s alright,” Spencer told them both, and he wrapped his arms around Jack. “I could use the
hug.”

“I know what you’re worried about, but she’ll be fine,” Aaron told Spencer, somewhat
cryptically. “There’ll be no surprises. I promise.”

Spencer took in another deep breath, and let it out, a little less shakily than before. “Okay.”

“I have to go,” Aaron said, the frustration that he couldn’t talk longer evident in his voice. “I
might not be able to answer, but please just text me later to tell me how you are.”

“I will.”
“Take care of him, Jack.”

“I will, Dad. Bye.”

“Bye. Love you.”

The phone disconnected and Spencer lay his head back on the bed. Jack shifted in his arms,
and hugged him again. “Are you better now?”

He smoothed down the boy’s hair, thinking that he’d have to comb it soon before his aunt
came. “I am. I’m sorry if I scared you.”

“Did you have a while awake nightmare?”

He laughed a little. “You know, that’s the best description of it I’ve ever heard. Yes, I had a
while awake nightmare. But it’s over now.” Jack’s tummy grumbled and they both looked at
it. “I think we’d better finish those pancakes before your stomach complains anymore.”

They finished making breakfast without further incident, and then they both got dressed for
the day. The knock at the door came before Spencer was expecting it, and he looked up as
woman with blond, curly hair walked in.

“Hi Aunt Jess!” Jack said brightly as he carefully tied his shoelace.

“Hi Jack, how are you?”

“We went to the museum yesterday and Spencer told me all about dinosaurs and Dad saved a
little girl, and I learned all about how Pluto isn’t allowed to be a planet anymore, and Spencer
told me about how the universe got created by this giant bang thing, and he also told me
about this big meetrite thing that killed all the dinosaurs-”

“Meteorite,” Spencer corrected with a smile.

“Yeah, one of those, and we made pancakes for breakfast and I was allowed to help and you
know how good I am at making pancakes because you taught me how and - “

“Woah, Jack! You’ve got heaps of time to tell me all about it,” she said, holding out a hand.
“Why don’t you go grab your bag?”

“Okay.”

He left to go to his room, and Jessica looked at Spencer with a smile. “Hi, I’m Jess,” she said,
and offered her hand.

He shook her hand, and fought down the tendril of panic that threatened to rise. “Hi.
Spencer.”

“Aaron has told me all about you,” she said. “It’s good to finally meet you.”

“Finally? We’ve not known each other long.”

She laughed again, and he found himself relaxing. “Aaron rang me the morning after he met
you. He sounded so much happier and positive than he had in such a long time.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.” She gave him another smile. “I’m glad he didn’t chicken out. He deserves to be
happy and you definitely seem to have that effect on him.”

Feeling himself blush, Spencer fidgeted under her gaze.

“I don’t think I’ve ever quite seen Jack take to someone so quickly either,” she continued.
“You’re obviously just as special as Aaron says you are.”

The blush intensified, and Jess just laughed again. Jack returned with his bag, and Spencer
picked up his own. They rode the elevator down to the carpark together, listening to Jack tell
them about his favourite dinosaurs.

“Thanks for letting me have a sleep in,” Jess told Spencer as she helped Jack into her car.

“It was nothing,” he said. He waved at Jack. “Bye Jack.”

“Will I see you again soon?” Jack asked.

“I hope so,” Spencer told him honestly.

“Thanks again,” Jess told him.

Spencer watched as they drove away, and got into his Volvo. He looked at his phone as he
allowed her to warm up. There was a message from Morgan.

DM - I overheard Hotch talking you down from your panic attack. Let me know if you’re
good.

He typed back a quick reply.

SR - I’m fine now. Thanks for checking up on me.

He drove back to his place, and tried to analyse his feelings. He thought he should feel
embarrassed that Morgan knew about his attack, but he didn’t. He just felt grateful that he
had a friend who cared about him enough to check up on him. And underneath that, there was
the little glow in the pit of his stomach, knowing that Aaron still wanted him.

He parked the car and headed up to his apartment, and sunk onto the couch. Now that he was
home and not responsible for Jack, the exhaustion that followed a panic attack was hitting
him like a tonne of bricks. He didn’t fight it, but curled up on the couch. He picked up his
phone and sent Aaron a quick text.

SR - Home now. I’m feeling tired, but better. Will try and get some sleep. Thanks for being
there for me.
A moment later his phone chimed.

AH - Just wish I could have been there in person. Get some rest, talk soon xxx

AH - Oh, and just to reiterate, you’re stuck with me so no escaping me now. Just in case
you’re still worried.

He smiled at the message, and that warm glow grew. He closed his eyes and willed his body
to relax and was soon asleep.
 Chapter 20

Spencer woke up early in the afternoon, his head pounding with a tension headache. He got
up and found some painkillers while he waited for the kettle to boil, and then made a cup of
tea. He booted up his laptop and checked his emails. He hadn’t checked his inbox for a few
days so there were quite a few to clear. Most were from colleagues who were checking up on
him, but one was from the department head advising that the coroner had given the go ahead
for funeral services to be held and there was a list attached of the dates for each person who
had been killed. He noted that Nancy’s parents were flying her body back to Scotland and so
wouldn’t have a funeral here, but Maeve’s was being held on Wednesday. There was also
another email advising that his first appointment with Doctor Graham for grief counselling
and debrief was scheduled for the next morning.

He sighed and sat back against the couch, rubbing at his arm absently. He hoped he’d be able
to return to work sooner rather than later. He needed to keep his brain busy, to have a
distraction from all the horrible things that had happened recently. It was easy to forget it
when he was with Aaron, but while he was away, Spencer knew that he would struggle. At
least he had the advantage of knowing the correct responses to give during the evaluation.

His phone beeped and he saw it was a message from Morgan.

DM - Hotch just went all alpha male on some of the locals who were being asses. I managed
to get you this.

The next message was a photo. It was of Aaron, dressed in one of his impeccable suits. He
looked to be mid-tirade, and if Spencer had been on the receiving end of that expression, he’d
have been terrified. It wasn’t that it was angry or even overly stern - he looked confidently
passionate about what he was lecturing about, but just below the surface was a
disappointment in the men he was chastising.

SR - Haha thanks, Morgan! What was he yelling at them about?

DM - They were being ignorant bigots. Two of our victims were gay and they were saying
typical small town stuff. I’m not gonna repeat it because it doesn’t bear repeating.

DM - Hotch went right off at them. Really put ‘em in their place.

SR - He outed himself?

DM - Nah, he never makes situations like these about himself. Pretty much ripped them a new
one for letting their personal ideologies interfere with the job and finding a killer.

DM - It was amazing to watch. I’m as straight as an arrow, but even I was tingling in my
extremities ;-)

SR - Morgan! He’s mine, keep your hands off! :P

SR - And thanks - this is the only photo I have of him.

DM - I’ll see what I can do to get you another - you know, one that’s a little...friendlier lol

DM - I’d better get back to work before that glare is turned on me. Talk later, kid.

SR - No worries. Thanks, Morgan.

Spencer smiled to himself, again grateful to have a friend like Morgan. He knew that he was
still worried about him, and was in his own way checking up on Spencer, but he wasn’t being
conspicuous about it. It meant a lot to him.

He spent the rest of the day reading, too exhausted to do much else. He was getting ready to
have an early night, and was climbing into bed when Aaron messaged him.

AH - Sorry I’ve not been able to text much today. How are you?

SR - I’m doing okay, don’t worry about me. Bad day?

AH - Frustrating. It’s hard enough when we’re just up against a killer, but when you’re
fighting an uphill battle with the local leos as well it just feels impossible.

SR - I’m sure if anyone can bring them into line, it’s you.

AH - Pretty sure Morgan and Rossi are taking bets on if I’ll end up throwing a punch before
we’re done.

SR - If you were a betting man, where would you put your money?

AH - As much as I’d love to knock some sense into those ignorant assholes, I’d then get
caught up in the whole ‘explaining to my boss why I assaulted several officers’ thing. That
would take forever and would make it even longer before I got to see you.

SR - I must insist then that you refrain from beating anyone up :)

AH - I promise I won’t. I miss you, Spencer.

SR - I miss you too.

AH - I feel awful about this morning.

SR - Please don’t. It’s not your fault.

AH - I just wish I’d been there for you.

SR - You were. I’m glad Jack phoned you.

AH - He really likes you. I hope you know that.

SR - So, takes after his dad then? ;-)

AH - lol yes he does.

SR - I really like him too.

AH - :) Good to hear. What have you got planned for tomorrow?

SR - I have my first appointment with the counsellor. I’m hoping to get signed off to return to
work. I need to be busy.

AH - Let me know how it goes?

SR - I will.

AH - Sorry, I have to go. Rossi needs to discuss the case.

SR - I understand. Goodnight, Aaron.

AH - Goodnight, Spencer x

He popped his phone on the nightstand and pulled the blankets up around his chin. He sighed,
wishing Aaron was here with him. His phone chirped once more and he picked it up. It was a
message from Morgan and it was another photo. It looked to have been taken at dinner from
across the table. Aaron had removed his jacket and tie and his shirt sleeves were rolled up
and he was laughing. Spencer smiled to himself as he saved the photo, a tangible reminder
that he hadn’t dreamed the whole thing. Then, with the image of Aaron’s smile in his mind’s
eye, he drifted off to sleep.

*****

Doctor Graham was one of those people who made you feel comfortable the moment that
you walked into the room. Spencer had met him several times at faculty functions and
admired the way that he engaged others, and always seemed to take a genuine interest.
Presently however, this attribute did not suit Spencer’s needs.

During his first session with the man, he asked Spencer to run through what happened, and to
discuss what he had been doing to cope so far. He listened actively as Spencer spoke of the
friends who were supporting him, and even touched briefly on his new relationship. Spencer
didn’t explain about the fight he’d had with Ethan, or mention his panic attacks, but tried to
sound positive. As the session came to a close, he expressed his wishes to return to work as
soon as possible, and Graham nodded as he scrawled notes onto his notepad.

“I’m sure you realise, Doctor Reid, that the mind requires adequate time to heal. Physical
injuries are real, and tangible, and act as a beacon so they tend to be the focus, leaving the
mind to muddle along by itself. But it’s so very important to give oneself time to process
trauma, and also to grieve.” He hooked his glasses off his face and have Spencer a kind look.
“It is my professional opinion that you have not given yourself enough time. Are you
planning on attending any of the funeral services?”

His heart sank. “Just the one, for Maeve Donovan. I attended the memorial service last week
though.”
Graham nodded. “Good, that’s good. I’m recommending another week off work, with another
session scheduled in for this Friday. We’ll re-evaluate from there, but it’ll be next Monday at
the earliest before I clear you.”

“I really don’t believe that’s necessary - I’m fine.”

“I understand that you’ll be returning to the same office. Tell me, Doctor Reid, have you been
back there since the incident?”

“Well, no. There’s been no need.”

“I’d like you to drop by your office before our session on Friday. It might be an idea to take
someone with you for support. As much as you say you’re fine, I have concerns that once
you’re back at the scene, you may find it overwhelming. I want you to go there so we can
talk about your reactions and feelings about it at your next session.”

Spencer nodded, realising that he wasn’t going to convince Graham otherwise. They finished
up and he saw the receptionist on the way out to make his next appointment. He stood outside
the Psychology department where Doctor Graham’s office was located and looked across the
grounds to where his department was. He squared his shoulders and headed in that direction.
He wasn’t sure when Aaron would be back, and he was the only person he would have
considered bringing as support. Seeing as he didn’t know when Àaron would be back, he may
as well get this over and done with now.

As he walked, Spencer thought about his last night with Aaron. He could remember every
touch and caress, every kiss and stroke. He recalled how safe he’d felt in Aaron’s arms, and
how gentle he had been. It had been so much better than the time he’d been with Ethan. He
had trusted Ethan, and had enjoyed himself, but it hadn’t felt as special. There hadn’t been
that connection that he felt with Aaron.

A thought crossed his mind. Because he’d been introduced by Morgan, he’d always thought
of Aaron as Hotch, even if he called him by name when speaking out loud. But now he
thought of him as Aaron. He rifled through his thoughts, trying to determine when that had
changed. He decided that it had been since Aaron had made love to him. He smiled to
himself as he realised how his thinking had changed. It seemed very appropriate after
opening himself to such levels of intimacy.

He didn’t pause as he reached the entrance to the building, refusing to consider the possibility
that Graham might be right. He marched inside, casting his eyes down the corridor. It was
quiet as it had only just reopened and they were working on a skeleton staff. There was a
workman on a ladder halfway down the hall, installing more security cameras, but Spencer
didn’t see anyone else. He walked the short distance down to where his office was and poked
his head inside. With both himself and Ethan off injured, and replacements yet to be hired for
the girls, it was empty. He took a few steps inside, the sharp smell of disinfectant assaulting
his nostrils.

The desks had been shifted slightly during the cleanup and he pushed his hip against his own,
moving it a fraction back into position. His possessions had been bagged up but were sitting
on the sanitised surface. A glance at Ethan’s desk showed the same, but the other two desks
had been cleared completely, nothing but a phone, PC, and intray remaining. His eyes moved
from Nancy’s empty desk to the floor underneath and he recoiled, sure for a split second that
he saw a lifeless hand sticking out from underneath. He gasped, and averted his eyes, trying
to stop his traitorous memory from filling in the blanks.

He pulled out his chair and sank into it, lowering his head into his hands. His breathing was
shaky and he felt the eddies of panic swirling in his stomach. He recalled the sound of
Aaron’s voice, talking him down, controlling his breathing, and he followed the ghostly
instructions. He squeezed his eyes shut, conceding that the doctor had perhaps been right.
Maybe it was too soon to be back here.

He opened his eyes and they fell on the spot on the floor that he had found Ethan. He
remembered the panic that had struck him as he’d seen how still he was, the shock at rolling
him over and seeing the blood, and the fear that he wouldn’t pull through. He had been
terrified that Toby had taken his best friend from him; that Ethan would die on the floor of
this office and they would never laugh together again.

Compared to the memory of those emotions, the anger he felt towards his friend now felt
hollow, and empty. In the grand scheme of things, did it really matter that Ethan had lashed
out at him in anger and hurt? If the bullet had hit him in a slightly different spot, he wouldn’t
be here to be able to make those sorts of comments, and that thought hurt far more than his
words.

He thought back to all the times that Ethan had been there for him. Spencer had never had
friends - it was only ever Ethan. He was the one who had supported him through the hardest
days of his life, when he’d had his mother committed to Bennington. He had held him as he’d
cried, distracted him with his antics, and assured him that it was the right thing to do. He’d
never judged Spencer, or his mother - he had always shown only empathy and compassion.
The comment the other day was an anomaly, and however hurtful it was, was it a good
enough reason to end their friendship over?

Spencer took a deep breath and stood, a plan of action clear in his mind. He left the campus
and drove across town and it wasn’t long before he was knocking on a familiar door. Ethan’s
eyes were wary as he took in the sight of his best friend.

“Hi,” Spencer said. “I found some perspective today. Mind if I come in?”

Ethan nodded, a flicker of hope lighting up his face. He stood back and welcomed Spencer
inside.
 Chapter 21

Spencer followed Ethan into the living room and they both paused a little awkwardly once
they got there.

“Um, coffee?” Ethan asked.

“Sure. Thanks.”

Spencer took a seat on the sofa and waited quietly while Ethan made them both a cup. His
eyes wandered around the room, taking in the mess of dirty dishes and clothes strewn about
the place. It looked like Ethan had been camped out in front of the television for the past few
days. A few minutes later Ethan returned and handed over a mug. They both sat, sipping at
their drinks, neither of them knowing what to say. It had all seemed so easy in Spencer’s head
on the way over but now that he was here, his mouth didn't seem to want to form the words.

“Spence, I’m really, truly sorry for being such a dick,” Ethan blurted out, breaking the
silence. “I know what I said was unforgivable and you have every right to never speak to me
again, and I wish I could take it all back.” He put his coffee down on the table and scrubbed
his hands through his beard. “I know that saying sorry isn’t enough, but if you give me a
chance to make this up to you, I swear I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right.”

Spencer stayed quiet for a bit, gathering his thoughts. When he finally got them sorted in his
head, he put his mug down and focused his attention on his friend. “We’ve both had a really
terrible few weeks and the stuff we’ve been through? Well, it’s enough to fray anyone’s
temper. The fact is, we have so much history and it seems a shame to throw that all away
because of words spoken in the heat of the moment.” He smiled a little. “I propose that we
forget everything that’s happened over the last week between us, and just pick up where we
were. No need to make anything up, no need for further apologies, we just go back to how it
was. What do you say?”

Ethan’s eyes had widened and he appeared to be having trouble speaking. He took a deep
breath and let it out shakily, and opened his mouth as if to say something. What it was,
Spencer never knew because instead of speaking, he broke down and started to cry. His face
fell into his hands as he sobbed, and his shoulders shook. Spencer scooted over on the couch
and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “I’m so sorry, Spence, I’m so, so sorry,” Ethan
cried. “I don’t deserve to have you as a friend.”

“Don’t be ridiculous - of course you do. You’ve been there for me when no one else was, a
hundred times over. One mistake doesn’t void all of that.”

“It wasn’t just one mistake though, was it?” Ethan reached out to grab a tissue so he could
wipe at his eyes. “I was an absolute jerk to you about Aaron. He makes you so happy and out
of everyone I know, you deserve that the most. And I tried to ruin that.”

Spencer sighed. “Yeah, well, I’m willing to put that behind us as well. I just need your word
that you won’t try and come between us again.”
His friend nodded. “I promise.” He sniffled, and then grimaced. “Do you think Aaron and
Morgan will ever forgive me?”

“It might take some fast talking on my part to bring Morgan round, but I doubt Aaron will
have any problems with it.” Ethan looked skeptical. “Honestly,” Spencer assured him. “After
I explained everything to him the other night, he was the one urging me to not give up on
you. I think he’ll be over the moon about it.”

“Wow. He really is a great guy.”

Spencer grinned. “Yeah, he is.”

“Does your sexy FBI agent have any sexy FBI agent friends?” Ethan asked with a laugh.

“I don’t know. I’ll make it a priority to ask him.” Spencer tightened his one-armed hug. “I
don't know about you, but I’m feeling much better now.”

Ethan leaned his head against Spencer’s shoulder. “Yeah, me too. I’m glad you were willing
to give me a second chance.”

“What are friends for?”

“I’m pretty sure you keep me around to make you look smarter,” Ethan teased, sitting back
up and reaching for his coffee.

“Yeah, well, it’s one of the benefits,” Spencer replied cheekily.

“You mean there’s more than one?”

“Of course. You keep me caffeinated, and we all know that without coffee things go downhill
pretty quickly.”

“No need to remind me - I remember too well the October of ‘99.”

Spencer shook his head sorrowfully. “It was a dark time.”

“The world will never know how close it came to total destruction.”

“If the details ever got out, there would be widespread panic.”

“You would be the inspiration for many doomsday cults.”

“What do you mean would ? I’m sure I already am!” They looked at each other deadpan for a
moment and then burst out laughing. Spencer fell back onto the sofa and clutched at his sides,
reveling in how good it felt to be laughing again with his friend.

“Ow, it hurts,” Ethan gasped between laughs, clutching at his stomach.

“Oh shit, I forgot. Sorry,” Spencer apologised.

Ethan shook his head. “Nah, it’s okay. I wouldn’t expect anything else from an evil
mastermind like you.” Their eyes met and they started giggling again. “Ow, okay, really, I
need to calm down now,” Ethan said once they’d finally stopped.

“How is it?” Spencer asked, feeling slightly guilty for not asking about his injury sooner.

Ethan shrugged. “It’s heaps better, but sometimes I forget it’s there and I do something that I
shouldn’t. It’s very quick to remind me it’s there. But most of the time it’s fine.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Wanna head out for a drink?” he asked. “I’m going stir crazy here and need to get out.”

Spencer laughed. “Is that what the doctor ordered?”

“Don’t know, don't care. I just know that getting out of here is going to make me feel better.”

Spencer shrugged. “Why not? I’ve been told that I’m not allowed back at work for another
week so drinking on a Monday is socially acceptable.”

Ethan’s expression turned timid. “Will Aaron mind? I don't want to steal you away from him
if you would prefer to spend the evening with him. We can do something another time if it’s
better…”

“Aaron’s away on a case so I have no plans. But even if he was here, I’d still come out,”
Spencer told him truthfully. “Just because I’m with Aaron, doesn’t mean I can’t hang out
with you.”

A smile lit up his friend’s face. “Thanks, Spence.”

*****

They’d gone to a small English pub not far from the university. It was one that they often
went to, as it never got overly busy like the university bars but was still close enough to drop
by after work, and was a short walk from Ethan’s apartment. Most people went to get a
counter meal and have a quiet drink, and without the noise and crowds, Spencer’s anxieties
didn't often play up.

They’d found a table in the corner and after an early dinner, had sat for several hours just
chatting. Spencer hadn’t felt like a beer so he was drinking spiced rum and coke, and had had
several too many. By the time they left, he was properly drunk. They stumbled out of the pub
together and headed in the general direction of Ethan’s place.

“S’good to see you happy,” Ethan told him, clapping him on the shoulder. “Being inna
relationship suits you.”

Spencer stumbled a bit, the gesture taking him off guard. “I’m so happy. Don’t know how I
got so lucky.” He grinned goofily as he thought of his partner.

“Does your sexy FBI agent take good care of you?” Ethan waggled his eyebrows.
“Ooooh yes!” he replied, smirking. “He takes very good care of me.”

His friend sighed, and then burped. He laughed, but then sighed dramatically again. “I bet
he’s a good fuck,” he said wistfully.

Spencer brought a finger up to his lips, missed the first time and poked himself in the nose,
but finally settled on the right spot. “Ah, that would be kissing and telling. But just between
friends -” he winked conspiratorially, “- holy fucking shit, Ethan, he is soooo amazing in
bed.” He sighed, thinking about their last night together. “I miss him so much,” he admitted
with a pout. “S’not easy when he’s away.”

“When will he be back?”

Spencer tried to shrug, which sent him stumbling into his friend. “Oops, sorry. No idea.
Whenever he catches the bad guy I guess.”

“Or girl,” Ethan corrected. “Let’s not be mis...mis...misogeyness? Misogulous? Aha!

Misogynous!”

“That’s good Englishing right there,” Spencer congratulated him. “Did you know that
statistically it’s more likely that it’s a bad guy? But I get your point - girls can be nasty too.”

“You keep in touch though, yeah? Like texting and stuff.”

“It’s hard when he’s busy.” Spencer had been checking his phone all night but there had been
no messages. “But even if they’ve worked really late, he’ll send a text to say goodnight.”

They’d arrived at Ethan’s apartment building and stopped out the front. “Did you want to
crash here tonight?” Ethan asked.

“Nah, I’m good. I’ll grab a cab and swing by tomorrow to get my car.”

Ethan nodded. “Alright. Thanks for tonight, man. I had fun.”

“Me too.”

“Don’t be a stranger, yeah?”

“I won’t. Promise.”

Ethan pulled him into a bear hug. “Seriously, Spence. I’m glad you came round. You’re the
bestest.”

He returned the hug, even in his drunken state remembering to be careful not to squeeze too
hard and hurt him. “I know. Talk soon, ‘kay?”

“Message me when you get home so I know you’ve not been brutally murdered by a
statistically likely nasty dude.” Ethan said as they broke apart.

“Will do.”
Ethan headed inside and Spencer walked down to the corner to where a busier road
intersected with the one he was on. It only took a few minutes for him to flag down a cab and
he was soon stumbling into his own apartment.

SR - I’m still alive.

EJ - Or you’re patient zero in a zombie outbreak.

SR - Braaaaaaaaains.

EJ - Called it. Night, Zombie Spence.

SR - Braaaaaaaaaains.

SR - That’s zombie for ‘goodnight’

Spencer went to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water before doing a cursory brush of his
teeth. He undressed before crawling into bed and closed his eyes for a moment, groaning
when his head started to spin. He turned the bedside lamp on and sat up, trying to stop the
spinning. He picked up the other pillow and hugged it to him, and grinned when he smelled
faint traces of Aaron’s cologne. He inhaled deeply, the scent triggering memories of their
time together. He recalled vividly what it felt like to touch his lover, the feel of his skin, the
heat beneath his fingertips, the silky smoothness of his length, the tight heat of being buried
inside him. Spencer’s cock twitched and grew harder the more he remembered. He trailed a
finger lightly over the fabric of his sleep pants, wishing more than anything that it was
Aaron’s hand instead of his own. A thought occurred to his drunken mind that Aaron would
probably want to know that.

SR - Wish you were here. My hand isn’t anywhere near as fun as yours :(

He put the phone down and settled himself more comfortably on the bed. He didn't know if
Aaron would be able to reply or not but his body was calling out for attention now so he
figured that he might as well start. He lazily trailed his fingers down his chest, swirling them
over his nipples, his back arching a little with how sensitive he was. He sucked on a finger
and used the wet pad of his finger to bring his left nub to hardness, his other hand tracing
delicate patterns over his ribs. His cock was aching to be touched but he enjoyed drawing out
the moment, lost in his thoughts and memories of Aaron. His phone chimed and he picked it
up to read the message, his left hand still busy.

AH - That’s a very interesting visual. Dave is wondering why I’ve gone bright red and almost
choked on my food.

SR - So you’re at dinner? Pity, I could put your mouth to much better use here.

The alcohol making him brave, and feeling just a bit cheeky, Spencer pulled his sleep pants
down and snapped a photo of his cock. He sent the picture to Aaron with the caption
‘Dessert? ’

AH - Are you trying to make me come in my pants in front of my team???

SR - I’d much rather you come inside of me, but I can’t have what I want right now *pouty
face*

AH - I’m going to go out on a limb here - have you been drinking?

SR - Can’t a guy get horny and send sexy photos to his boyfriend whilst sober?

AH - Yes, but it seems a little out of character.

SR - Is it a problem if I’ve been drinking?

AH - Of course not. I’m more than happy to be the recipient of your drunken texts. GIve me
ten minutes so I can get to my room?

SR - Sure. I’ll find some way of keeping myself occupied while you’re gone ;-)

AH - Actually, I think I can make the trip in five minutes.

Spencer grinned and kicked his pants off the rest of the way. His hand dropped down and
stroked at his cock and he let out a soft moan. He picked up his phone again and took another
photo, this time with his hand wrapped around himself. He wrote ‘I’m very occupied ’ and
sent the message.

A minute later his phone rang and he answered it, putting it onto speaker. “Why hello,” he
purred.

“Fuck, Spencer,” Aaron said, his voice huskier than normal.

“Yes, I believe I made it clear that’s what I’d like you to be doing right now.”

“Are you still...still touching yourself?”

He squeezed his cock a little tighter, and gasped. “Oh yes.”

Aaron groaned. “That is the sexiest fucking thing I can think of.”

“Are you sharing a room?”

“No, I’m alone.”

“Then I think maybe you should get naked as well.”

There were a few muffled sounds as his lover hurried to comply, and Spencer lazily stroked
his cock as he waited. “Done,” Aaron said after a while.

“Prove it,” Spencer challenged.

“Um…”

“I want a photo, Aaron. It’s only fair since you have two of me.”
“I don't know…”

“Don’t be shy,” Spencer purred again. “I want to see how hard I’ve made you. I want to see
how you’re touching yourself so I can copy it and imagine that it’s your hand wrapped
around me. I want you and I can’t have you so please can I have this?”

“I suppose since you asked so nicely,” Aaron gave in.

Spence heard the sound of the camera and his screen flashed with the incoming message. He
paused, not sure if he could open it whilst talking, but his phone allowed him. Smartphone
indeed. More of a Bro-phone. He took a sharp intake of breath as the photo appeared. Aaron
was lying in his bed, the typical pastel coloured hotel duvet pushed down around his ankles.
He was visible from mid-chest down and his cock was resting against his toned stomach. His
fingers were curled loosely around it and there was a drop of glistening pre-ejaculate on the
tip. “Oh. Oh my,” he whispered, his hand starting to move faster up and down his length.

“Does that suffice as evidence?” Aaron asked, amusement mixed with desire in his voice.

“The second you get back, Aaron, I’m going to be on my knees and sucking that glorious
cock of yours until you’re coating the back of my throat with your come.”

“Well, well, well, isn’t this interesting? Drunk Spencer likes to talk dirty.”

“Drunk Spencer wants to do much more than just talk dirty. Drunk Spencer wants to suck
you, and lick you, and fuck you, and to be fucked by you.” He gasped, imagining all of those
things. He wanted to close his eyes so he could better picture them, but he couldn’t tear his
eyes from the photo.

“As soon as I’m back, I’ll come round so you can do all of those things to me.”

“Promise?”

“Oh, I promise. I want your cock buried so deep in my arse, Spencer.” His voice was breathy,
catching on his name. “I want to be surrounded by you, to feel you inside of me. I want to
watch your face as you come, to hear you, to feel you shuddering against me.”

Spencer’s hand was slick with pre-come, and he twisted on his upward strokes, feeling
tension in his spine start to build. “Aaron, fuck, I want you so much.”

“Close your eyes, babe, and imagine that’s me holding you.” Spencer did as he was told,
letting Aaron’s husky voice wash over him. “You have such a nice cock, I love the feeling of it
in my hand, and in my mouth, and in my arse. Picture the way it feels, when you make me
come and I’m squeezed so tight around you, as you thrust into me, again, and again, and I’m
still shuddering around you. It's so tight and hot and slick and you’re so close and you thrust
in again, and -”

“Aaron! ” Spencer cried as his organsm took him, covering his stomach with thick strands of
come.
“Oh fuck, Spencer, you are so fucking sexy, fuck me, I want you so much!” Aaron gasped and
Spencer grinned as he listened as his partner found his own release.

Breathing hard, Spencer reached over and grabbed a handful of tissues as cleaned himself up.
“That was unbelievable,” he said with a soft laugh.

“Yes it was,” Aaron replied, still breathless.

Spencer threw the tissues in the bin and turned off the lamp. He snuggled down in his bed,
the phone lying next to his pillow. “Sorry if I interrupted your dinner.”

Aaron laughed. “I don’t mind at all. Dave is going to give me hell tomorrow though.”

“He’s just jealous.”

“Mmmm, he should be.” Spencer yawned, his jaw cracking enough to be heard over the
phone. “You sound exhausted. You should go to sleep.”

“No, I don't wanna yet. I want to keep talking to you.”

“Just a few more minutes then,” Aaron agreed. “Have you had some water? I don’t want you
having a headache tomorrow.”

“Mmm, I have some here.”

“Drink some more now.”

Spencer rolled over and groped in the dark till he found his glass. He downed half the water
and slumped back onto his pillow. “Done,” he said.

“Good.” He could hear the smile in Aaron’s voice. “So, what was the reason for the drinking
tonight?”

“I went out with Ethan,” Spencer said, yawning again.

“Ethan?” Aaron asked, surprised. “You got things sorted then?”

“Yeah. Took your advice.”

“Do you feel better now?”

“I do.”

“That’s great news, Spence.”

“Aaron?”

“Yes?”

“I miss you.”
There was a sigh from the other end of the phone. “I know. I miss you too.”

“M’sorry, I know I’m being needy.”

“It’s okay. I know exactly how you’re feeling. Hopefully I’ll be home soon.”

“I hope so.” He yawned again.

“Okay, I’m going to go now. Sleep sweet, Spencer.”

“You too, Aaron. And thanks.”

He gave a low chuckle. “Anytime. Bye, love.”

“Bye, Aaron.”

Spencer disconnected the call and was asleep in minutes.

 Chapter 22
Chapter Summary

Aaron and Spencer head out with the team as a couple.

Spencer’s week dragged by. Aaron’s team were bogged down in their case and didn't sound
to be any closer to solving it than when they’d first arrived. Spencer missed Aaron terribly
and had hoped to be able to spend some of his enforced sick leave with him, even if it was
just the evenings. He attempted to work on a journal article he’d been thinking of doing for a
while but his mind just couldn’t settle enough to start. He phoned his mother every day as
well as writing his normal letter, but even she ran out of things to speak to him about. She’d
started to worry about him and so he decided to not phone again soon since he didn’t want
that on her plate.

Maeve’s funeral had been on the Wednesday and he had attended the service, but chose to
have a quiet drink with Ethan instead of go to the wake afterwards. As restless as he was, the
idea of spending an afternoon with dozens of work colleagues asking about their injuries
constantly was not his idea of fun. They ended up grabbing takeaway and watching a movie
and as happy as Spencer was to have the company, he still felt down in the dumps because it
wasn’t the company that he truly desired.

By Thursday afternoon he was definitely going stir crazy. He had popped on a DVD but
wasn’t really concentrating on it when his phone rang. His heart flipped when he saw it was
Aaron. “Hey!” he greeted his lover, a grin wide on his face.

“Hi Spence. You have no idea how good it is to hear your voice.” Aaron sounded utterly
exhausted.

“You too. I’ve missed you more than I thought possible.”

“Same here. I’ve got some good news though, along with some not so good news.”

“Oh? That sounds slightly ominous.”

“I’ll start with the good news then - we’re wrapping up the case now.”

“That is good news!”

“It is. The not so good news is that there’s a nasty storm here so we can’t fly out until the
morning.”

“Oh.” Try as he might, Spencer couldn’t stop the disappointment from being evident in that
simple syllable.
“I know.” Aaron sighed in frustration.

“So, I guess I’ll get to see you on the weekend maybe?” Spencer asked. “I know you’ll want
to spend tomorrow night with Jack.”

“Actually, Jack has plans. He’ll be at a sleepover for one of his friend’s birthdays. The team
are wanting a night out - probably the same place where we first met - and want to know if
we’ll be there. Would you be interested? I know you’re not a huge fan of going out but it’s
been a tough case and it would be good for the team to have some time together to unwind.”

“Do you really want me there for that then? Maybe you should just go out with them?”

“Spencer, besides the fact that I want to see you as soon as physically possible, everyone is
dying to meet you again. You know Morgan hasn’t been able to keep his mouth shut so they
all know that we’re together. They enjoyed meeting you last time but there’s more excitement
about seeing you again as my partner instead of just Morgan’s best friend.”

The last thing Spencer wanted was to have to spend another night out at a bar instead of
having Aaron all to himself, but he’d picked up a definite hopeful tone in his lover’s voice.
He felt a small thrill go through him knowing that Aaron wanted to show him off. “It sounds
fun. Count me in.”

“Really? Are you sure?”

“Aaron, as much as I would love to spend the whole night in bed with you so I can ravish
every inch of your body, I’m not opposed to going out first. As long as I’m with you it
doesn’t matter.”

“Hmmm, your idea sounds much better than mine…”

“Do you want to be the one to tell Morgan and Rossi that you’re not coming out because
you’re too busy with your cock in my mouth?”

There was a moment of shocked silence on the end of the line. “Have you been drinking
again?”

Spencer laughed. “No, no I have not. Absence just seems to make the heart grow fonder, the
mind dirtier, and the mouth filthier.”

“I’m not complaining at all. Though I’m definitely making sure we take a cab there and back.
I’m rather interested in experiencing the drunk you in person.”

“You make it sound like it’s a once in a lifetime event.”

“Isn’t it?”

“I don’t get drunk every weekend, but I’m not exactly a teetotaler.”

“And are you usually as... misbehaved ?”

“No, that’s your terrible influence on me.”

“Will you be awfully upset if I continue to be a terrible influence on you?”

“Not at all. I’m happy for you to be a terrible influence on me, in me, over me…”

There was a soft intake of breath in his ear. “Dammit, why do I have to be in the middle of a
police station right now?”

Spencer grinned a feral grin and lay down on his couch. “That’s a pity. I’m home. Alone.”
His hand dropped to palm his aching cock through his trousers. “And I’m thinking very
naughty thoughts about you right now.”

“Spencer,” Aaron growled down the phone, his voice dripping with lust.

“Sure you can’t excuse yourself and find somewhere private?”

In the background, Spencer heard Rossi holler at Aaron. His lover huffed out a sigh.
“Unfortunately not as it looks like the press are here. So make sure you tune into the news
tonight, love, so you don’t miss me giving a statement about a sick and twisted psychopath
whilst sporting a throbbing erection.”

Spencer laughed. “Better than the porn I normally watch.”

The sound Aaron made didn’t sound human. “You’re going to pay for that when I finally get
you alone.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“It seems Rossi’s glare can melt steel. I’d better go. I’ll phone you tomorrow.”

“See you soon, Aaron.”

“Bye, love.”

Spencer disconnected the call and his arm flopped to his side. He was still hard but didn’t
have the enthusiasm to take care of it right now. It just wasn’t the same without at least
Aaron’s voice in his ear. But at least he only had one more day to get through before he saw
him again. He pushed aside the loneliness and ache for Aaron, and cheered himself with that
thought. In truth, the idea of a night out wasn’t as horrid as it once would have been, due to
the fact that he would be with his partner. He had never expected that he would get so
emotionally attached as quickly as he had. Having someone to call his own was not
something that he’d ever really envisioned for himself. His contact aversion and social
awkwardness had always been such an obstacle that the idea of finding someone who he felt
comfortable enough with to overcome those issues had seemed nigh impossible. And yet
that’s exactly what had happened. And he must have done something worthy in a past life to
explain how lucky he’d been to find Aaron. Not only was he funny, caring, and intelligent, he
was the sexiest man Spencer had ever laid eyes on. And judging from that pet name he’d
been letting slip into conversation lately, he also seemed to be growing emotionally attached
to Spencer.
Spencer found himself smiling. He was looking forward to seeing the team again and to
spending some time with Morgan. And then there would be the time he spent with Aaron
afterwards. His week was definitely ending on a high note.

*****

Spencer opened his closet door and scrutinised his appearance in the full length mirror that
hung on the back of it. He’d had no idea what to wear and had changed six times already. He
didn’t want to be too overdressed or appear too casual, but he wanted to look good for Aaron,
but not look like he was trying to garner attention from others. He’d ended up going for one
of his three piece suits with a plum coloured shirt, knowing that he looked good in a
waistcoat. A pair of Vans and some product in his hair to make it look suitably scruffy gave
the outfit a more casual vibe. He nodded, and closed the closet door, vowing that this was the
outfit he’d settle on. Two minutes later he dashed back into the room, now unsure about his
tie.

He was full of nervous energy which thrummed through his body. He’d seen Doctor Graham
today and had been given the okay to return to work on Monday, and he’d also spoken to
Aaron briefly and they’d decided they’d come back here after they’d been out. Aaron had
also asked if he’d then come and spend the remainder of the weekend with himself and Jack.
He was deliriously happy and he couldn’t sit still to save his life.

The doorbell pulled him from his thoughts and he dashed to the front door. The sight of his
lover calmed him instantly and he smiled widely. Aaron stepped through the doorway and
dropped his bag at his feet, pulling Spencer to him into a hungry a kiss. Tingles went up his
spine as he became reaquainted with that mouth and he heard himself let out a low moan.
Aaron grinned against his lips, pressing one last kiss to them before pulling back. “Hello,” he
said, continuing to smile.

“Hi,” Spencer replied, slightly breathless.

“You look delicious,” Aaron told him, tightening the tie that was only loosely done up.

“As do you.” He ran his eyes appreciatively over Aaron. He was wearing a dark blue knit
sweater and jeans that clung to his thighs. Spencer made a mental note to check as soon as
possible if they clung just as nicely to his arse.

Aaron shrugged. “I try to leave the suits behind when we’re socialising.

“I do like your suits but I wholeheartedly approve of this as well.”

A faint pink tinge coloured Aaron's cheeks and Spencer pulled him in for another kiss. “We
should probably go,” Aaron murmured. “The cab is waiting.”

Spencer nodded and collected his wallet, phone, and keys before they made their way down
to the waiting taxi. They climbed into the back seat and Aaron gave the address of the bar. He
sat back in his seat and smiled over at Spencer, twining their fingers together. “It’s so good to
be home.”
“It’s good to have you back.” He looked down at their linked hands, a small seed of worry
gnawing at him.

“What is it, Spence?”

He shrugged. “I’m being silly.”

“You, my genius, could never be silly. What’s on your mind?”

“This will be the first time that we’ll be out in public as a couple. From what I know about
you, I’m guessing that you’re not into overt public displays of affection.” He raised their
joined hands. “I guess I’m just wondering if once we’re not alone, if I’ll still be able to do
this?”

Aaron leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. “You’re right that I believe there’s
a time and a place for everything. You’re never going to catch me snogging you senseless in
the middle of the grocery store. But a bar is a socially acceptable place for what you term to
be overt displays of public affection. Trust me - there will be no doubt that we’re much more
than just friends.”

Spencer felt himself blushing, mostly at how childish his worry had been. “I don’t mean we
have to flaunt it. I guess I just wanted to be able to enjoy being close to you since we’ve been
apart, but at the same time I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Will it bother you?” Aaron asked. “I know that you’re rather private. Is it something that
will make you feel awkward?”

He considered this. “If you’d asked me several weeks ago, I’d have probably have said yes. I
used to get embarrassed just by talking about anything I deemed a private matter. But now
that I’m actually in a relationship? I’m actually looking forward to people seeing us and
knowing that we’re together.”

They cut their conversation short as the cab pulled up outside the bar. Aaron paid the driver
and they made their way across the carpark, snaking his arm around Spencer’s waist as they
walked. Spencer leaned against him, and turned his head so they could share a quick kiss.
“I’m so happy you’re home,” he said again.

Aaron’s answering smile was blinding. Spencer doubted he would ever get used to that smile.
It took his breath away that he was the reason for it’s illuminescence tonight. “Tonight’s
going to be a good night.”

They made their way inside and headed towards the back room where they had been before.
It was, if possible, busier than last time and Spencer felt a tendril of panic swirl in his
stomach at the mass of people pressing in on all sides of him. Aaron saw the look on his face
and walked so he was slightly in front, his hands extended behind his back to grasp Spencer’s
so he could lead the way. Fixing his eyes on the back of Aaron’s neck, Spencer followed
closely behind, his body brushing against the broad back. The panic died as quickly as it
came, and he was overjoyed at how safe Aaron made him feel. They eventually fought their
way through the crowd and into the slightly quieter back room. The rest of the team were
already in one of the booths and they made a beeline for it.

“Hi everyone,” Aaron greeted them, and pulled Spencer close to his side.

Garcia, Prentiss, and JJ grinned broadly at them, Morgan stood to clasp hands with both of
them, Will gave a friendly nod, and Rossi a knowing smirk. Spencer couldn’t help but grin
back at them all, overwhelmed at how happy they all seemed - not only to see them both
there but because they were there together.

“Now that the gangs all here, it’s time for a drink,” Morgan announced. “You joining us
tonight, Pretty Boy?”

Spencer nodded. “Yep, we grabbed a cab.”

The grin that spread across his friend’s face could only be described as evil. “Oh, this is
going to be fun.”

“More so for Aaron, I’m sure,” Rossi said with a wink.

“Do not paint me that picture, Rossi! As happy as I am for my boss and my boy, I don’t really
wanna think of the specifics.”

“But I do!” Garcia trilled. “Or maybe we can have a demonstration?” She leered at them from
her seat.

“Hey, you’re making Spencer blush!” JJ chastised her. “Don’t worry, I’ll try and keep her
under control,” she assured Spencer.

“It’s okay,” Spencer said with a laugh. “Maybe she’ll get her wish.”

“Oooh!” Garcia clapped her hands.

“Hotch, you never told us he was frisky!” Prentiss complained.

“Do you lot notice anything?” Rossi asked in exasperation.

“What did we miss?” she asked in confusion.

“First of all, there was the time that Aaron left dinner for his room in a state of-”

“Okay, Dave, that’s enough!” Aaron cut him off with a glare, but his eyes were twinkling as
he did. “If they didn't notice anything, then it’s their own faults for being subpar profilers.”

Rossi nodded. “This is true.”

“That’s not fair!” Garcia wailed. “I wasn’t there and even if I was, I’m not a profiler! You can
tell me, can’t you?”

“Not likely,” Aaron told her.

She pouted. “That’s so not fair, Bossman. How drunk will you need to be to tell me?”

“Drunk enough that you’ll probably get that demonstration anyway so it won’t matter.”

“Morgan! We need to get drinks, now!” she declared, holding out her hand so he could help
her up.

“Okay, Baby Girl, let’s go.”

Aaron and Spencer slid onto one of the benches as Morgan and Garcia went to get the first
round. Aaron clasped their hands together and rested them on his thigh and Spencer leaned
against him slightly, enjoying being close to him. It suddenly felt like the past week hadn’t
happened and they’d never been parted.

“You look ridiculously happy,” he heard Rossi tell Aaron from the his place on the other side
of his partner.

“I am.”

“I’m glad. I never thought I’d get to see it again.”

“How’s the arm?” JJ asked Spencer from across the table.

“It’s good. I’ve finally been cleared to go back to work next week.”

“That’s great to hear. And you’re doing well...you know-” She gestured vaguely.

He gave her a smile. “Yeah, it’s been really tough, but Aaron’s been great through everything.
I don’t know what I’d have done without him.”

“So, what will you be working on once you’re back?”

Spencer spent the next ten minutes giving JJ and Will an overview of the projects he knew
were waiting to be completed. He wasn’t too sure what else would be added to his workload
as he didn’t know what was happening with the projects that Maeve and Nancy had been
working on. Morgan and Garcia arrived back with two trays full of beverages. Everyone was
handed a shot and a cocktail.

“Is the plan to give us alcohol poisoning?” Aaron asked with a raised eyebrow.

“No, this is just to get us started. We’ll pace ourselves after this.”

“What the hell is this supposed to be?” Rossi demanded, accepting his colourful concoction.

“It’s a Sex on the Beach,” Garcia told him.

“Why the hell do I have this and not a proper drink?”

“Because there’s a special on cocktails tonight and our plan is to work our way through them
all.”
“What’s wrong with scotch?”

“It’s boring. Now, stop being a baby and down your Cock Sucking Cowboy.”

“My what???”

“Your shot.”

“Penelope, I am not drinking either of these.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No, I am not.”

“Rossi, there are three people between you and the exit of this booth. Everyone else is too
busy drinking their own cocktails to bother letting you get up to go to the bar. So, you either
drink it, or go without.”

The older agent glared around at his companions, all who who looking back at him with big
grins, their own shot glasses in hand. “This is absurd,” he muttered.

“Bottoms up!” Garcia cried.

Rossi watched as everyone knocked back their shots, and only then did he reluctantly drink
his. “You will pay for this, Penelope,” he warned her.

“Already did since I got the first round.” She gave him an impish grin and he couldn’t keep
the scowl on his face.

Spencer laughed at their antics and let himself lean against Aaron. It did indeed seem like it
was going to be a good night.
 Chapter 23
Chapter Summary

Shameless drunken antics.

“No, no, no, no, no, you’re getting all confused,” Spencer slurred at JJ. “It’s the same man.”

She furrowed her eyebrows at him. “But he’s been around forever.”

“Exactly! He’s a Timelord so he can regenerate.”

“So...he comes back from the dead?”

He started to explain more but noticed that she was starting to lose the thread of their
conversation so settled for, “Something like that.”

Rossi came back to the table, carrying three tall glasses filled with an orange and red
concoction. “If I was sober at the moment, I would have died of embarrassment by now,” he
announced to the two companions that remained at their table as he sank into the booth.

“Oooh! These look yummy,” JJ squealed as she grabbed one. “What are they called?”

“Please don’t make me say it,” Rossi said with a pained look.

“Go on!”

“Urgh, fine. You won’t find these on the menu but the lovely lass behind the bar made them
especially for me. They’re called Sex On My Face.”

JJ and Spencer burst out laughing at the mortified expression on Rossi’s own face. “Yep,
better you than me!” Spencer said gleefully.

“I’m pretty sure that you are still in for some shame of your own,” he retorted. “That lot tried
to get me to dance with them as I went past and when I refused Aaron told me he would
come and drag you up there shortly.”

“He wouldn’t...would he?”

Rossi smirked. “Oh yes he would. Our Aaron doesn’t let his hair down often, but when he
does, he does it in spectacular style.”

JJ handed over a glass. “Drink up, Spence. It’ll make it easier.”

He accepted the cocktail and took a drink. He was drunk enough that he would probably
allow himself to get dragged up for a dance, but he still wouldn’t be any good at it.

“Speak of the devil,” Rossi noted, looking across the room. Aaron and Garcia were making a
beeline for the table, if bees were intoxicated and giggling enough to warrant a not so direct
path. “Having fun?” Rossi asked when they finally arrived.

“Bossman can dance!” Garcia exclaimed, her smile almost as wide as her eyes. “I didn’t
believe it at first but he’s putting my Chocolate God to shame.”

Aaron shrugged. “I have many hidden talents.”

“You guys should come join us,” Garcia said, pointing at Spencer and JJ.

“Yeah, come dance with me, Spence.” Aaron beamed at his partner.

“I’m not a great dancer,” he told them. “You’ll just laugh at me.”

Aaron plopped himself down onto the seat next to Spencer and wrapped an arm around his
neck. “No one is going to laugh at you.”

“You’ve not seen how bad I am yet.”

“If they do, they’ll have to answer to me.”

Spencer battered his lashes at him. “My hero.”

“Does your hero get a reward?” Aaron growled into his ear.

“What sort of reward?”

Aaron cocked his head to one side as if pondering his options. “Hmmm, I think maybe this
sort.” He pulled Spencer to him and kissed him hard, eliciting a squeal from Garcia. They
broke apart and Aaron grinned at him. “I do rather like this sort of reward.”

“You can rescue me anytime you’d like if that’s how I get to repay you.”

“Oh really? I believe you are needed on the dance floor then so I can rescue you from a fate
worse than death.”

“That sounds rather terrible. If you save me from that, I might need to find a better way to
reward you.”

“Is there anything better than your kisses?”

“Depends where I’m kissing you I suppose.”

“If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to consume all of this alcohol in one go in the hopes that it
will kill all of the brain cells that just recorded that exchange.” The two lovers tore their eyes
away from the heated gaze they were locked in to see Rossi giving them a pointed look.
“I just want to record it for all eternity!” Aaron looked over his shoulder to see Garcia
bouncing up and down and clapping her hands together. “You two are just adorable
together!”

“Can they go and be adorable somewhere else? I’d really rather not die of a sugar overdose
right now.”

“Alcohol poisoning is okay though?” JJ asked Rossi with a smirk.

“At least that’s a manly death.”

“Says the man that has had a Fuzzy Navel, a Bahama Mama, and a Punky Brewster tonight.”

“It’s okay, we’ll leave Dave to his his alcohol-induced amnesia,” Aaron said as he stood from
the booth and held a hand out to help his partner up. “JJ, you going to come for a dance?”

She shook her head. “No thanks, I’ll stay here and keep Captain Blackheart company.”

Aaron led them through the crowd to the dance floor, and Spencer couldn’t keep his eyes off
of him. He was so relaxed and was obviously enjoying himself which caused him to almost
glow. The way his body was moving was also causing those delectable jeans to cling to even
more delectable places and more than just Spencer’s eyes were beginning to take note. Garcia
spotted Morgan and Prentiss and they made their way over to them.

“Good to see you out here, Pretty Boy!” Morgan called over the music.

Spencer grinned, unable to help himself. Aarons arms had wrapped around him from behind
and his lover was moving against him in ways that would be arrestable if there wasn’t music
and strobe lights to argue that what he was doing could be called dancing. Prentiss pulled
Garcia to her and they started dancing, whilst simultaneously whispering in each other’s ears
and giggling every time they looked at the happy couple. He knew that he should feel self
conscious about the attention, but Spencer found he was just happy that they were so
obviously delighted that their Team Lead had found someone. Aaron started kissing his neck
and the giggles turned to leers, at which point Spencer thought that it might be best to turn his
back on the spectators. He twisted around in Aaron’s arms and linked his own around his
neck.

“You are so unbelievably sexy,” Aaron said, nipping at his earlobe.

Spencer grinned. “I could say the same about you.” He moved his hips in what he hoped
would look in time to the music but just caused the bulge in his pants to rub against his lover.

“Careful - as much as it seems like a great idea for me to drop to my knees right here and
now and suck your cock, I think we’d both regret it in the morning.”

“I’m guessing a public indecency charge wouldn’t look good on your CV?” He pressed even
closer to Aaron so he could be heard over the music. The fact that he could feel an answering
hardness through his lover’s jeans was just a bonus.

Aaron’s voice was husky against his ear. “I’m starting to think it might be worth it.”
Spencer laughed. “At least we’d have an enthusiastic audience.”

Chocolate eyes flickered behind them to where Spencer was sure the two girls were still
watching them. “I think you’d be right. I think they’re definitely getting the show they
wanted.”

“That just means that we have a valid argument for them getting the next round. This isn’t a
free performance.”

Aaron chuckled in his ear, sending shivers through Spencer’s body. “A price I think they
would gladly pay.”

“You do realise that you work with a bunch of perverts, yes?”

He shrugged. “I’ll make a note for their next performance evaluations.”

Spencer grinned wickedly. “Since they have such a steep price to pay, an encore probably
wouldn’t hurt.”

Aaron’s answering grin flew past the realms of wicked and quickly approached evil territory.
“Who are we to deny the adoring masses?”

Aaron’s hands slipped around from Spencer’s waist to rest on the small of his back so he
could pull him flush against his body. Their lips met and Spencer parted his straight away to
allow Aaron’s tongue to dip inside his mouth. He had missed this so much over the past week
and right now he didn't care that their friends were watching - he’d gladly kiss this man in
front of a stadium full of people if it meant that he got to experience such bliss as this. He
pushed all thoughts of their audience from his mind and just concentrated on the feel of the
hot mouth moving against his, the strong arms around him, and the feeling of contentment
that washed through him.

One of Aaron’s hands moved up to clasp the back of his neck and he moaned against Aaron's
lips as their kiss intensified. His own fingers fisted into his lover's hair and he stopped trying
to move in time to the music so he could shift one of his legs between Aaron’s thighs. He
could feel the hardness of his Aaron's cock pressing against him and he bucked his hips a
little, causing an answering moan in response.

Heat was spreading its way up through his belly and into his chest as their lips moved against
each other in a never ending dance. Aaron nipped gently at Spencer’s lower lip and he
gasped, unsure if his cock could get any harder if it tried. His hips bucked again, and the jolt
of pleasure that shot through him had his eyes flying open. In an instant he was brought back
to the here and now, having almost forgotten they were in a very public place. He pulled
away slightly, just enough to break the kiss and Aaron opened his own eyes, disappointment
at the loss of contact obvious on his expression.

“Sorry,” Spencer apologised. “I was kind of forgetting where we were. Almost couldn’t
stop.”
“Oh.” Aaron’s cheeks flushed an even deeper red. “I guess we were probably being a little
too demonstrative.”

“Maybe we’ll be lucky and no one will have noticed?”

They broke apart and looked around at the suspiciously still area around them. Garcia,
Prentiss, Morgan, and the patrons closest to them on the dance floor had all come to a halt
and were staring at the couple. Prentiss’ mouth was hanging open and Garcia reached up to
close it, the widest grin on her face that Spencer had ever seen.

“Damn! ” Morgan’s eyes were wide. “That was…”

“Hot!” Garcia provided.

Morgan found himself nodding. “Actually, yeah, that’s a good way to describe it.”

Spencer met Aaron’s eye and they burst out laughing. It seemed to break the spell and the
crowd around them started up again to the rhythm of the music.

“I think I need another drink,” Morgan announced.

“Me too!” Garcia chimed in.

“Do you want one?” Aaron asked Spencer.

He nodded. “Sounds good, though I might just nip to the bathroom first to make room.” He
gave Aaron a quick kiss and then peeled off from the group as they headed to the bar and he
went in search of a restroom. He finally found a sign pointing the way and his slightly
unsteady legs took him in that direction. He tried to keep the smile off his face at just how
happy he was feeling, but he knew that he wasn’t managing it well. Luckily, the restroom was
empty when he got there so his smile didn't creep out anyone else at the urinals. He
considered himself especially lucky since his cock was still rather erect after his dance with
Aaron and that would be even harder to explain away than a whimsical smile.

He finished up and was just drying his hands when the door swung open. Aaron stepped into
the room and he broke into a feral grin when his quick survey of the amenities showed them
to be alone. He strode across to Spencer and pulled him close, crushing their lips together.
They broke apart a minute later, both of them breathing hard. Aaron kissed his way along
Spencer’s jaw, up to his ear. “I want you so much. You are so fucking sexy and I just can’t
wait.”

Spencer shivered at the admission. “Fuck, Aaron, I want you too.”

Aaron grabbed his hand and pulled him along to the stall farthest away from the door. They
fell through the door, hands grasping at each other as they lost themselves in a passionate
kiss. Aaron reached behind him and managed to twist the lock and then he was pushing
Spencer up against the wall, one of his hands finding its way up under his shirt to stroke at
the smooth skin of his stomach. Spencer buried his face in Aaron’s neck, sucking a mark into
the tender skin just above his collarbone, his own hands busy with the button of his lover’s
jeans. He managed to get both button and zip undone and he pulled them down far enough to
allow Aaron’s cock to spring free. He started to kneel so he could take Aaron's cock in his
mouth, but Aaron stopped him.

“As much as I’d love that, I want to keep you off the ground if I can.” Both pairs of eyes
darted to the revolting tiles and Spencer nodded. Aaron ran a finger lightly down his cheek
and then pressed a surprisingly tender kiss to his lips. “Here, let me.” He worked Spencer’s
trousers open to release him as well and once done, he held his hand up to his mouth and spit
into his palm. Using his moistened hand, he took hold of both of their cocks and started
stroking them. Spencer gripped tightly to Aaron’s arms, leaning forward to kiss him again.
They lost themselves in the kiss and the feeling of their lengths sliding against each other, the
world around them falling away until it was just the two of them. It was hot and frantic, and
Aaron sped up his strokes as Spencer moaned against his mouth, incoherent words falling
from his lips. He felt his orgasm begin to build and he groped blindly next to them with his
free hand until his fingers found the toilet paper dispenser. He pulled free several sheets and
got them in position just as Aaron came, crying out Spencer’s name. Spencer gasped as he
felt Aaron shudder against him and thrust himself further into his fist. The tightness in his
balls grew and grew and just before he came, they heard one of the urinals flush. He clapped
his hand to his mouth to muffle the sound of his own orgasm, but it did little to mask his
cries.

They were both breathing heavily as they tried to quickly clean themselves up and fix their
clothes. Spencer grinned and kissed Aaron one last time, before they made their way from the
stall. They stopped dead in their tracks as they saw Rossi leaning against the sinks, his arms
crossed.

“I do hope that you both know that I am not anywhere near drunk enough for this,” he
drawled.

“Ah…”

“Save it, Aaron. You’re buying me a drink to make up for offending my very delicate
sensibilities. A man can’t even piss in peace anymore.”

“We’ll go straight to the bar and get you a whiskey.”

“I don’t want a whiskey,” Rossi said, looking thoughtful. “In keeping with the theme of
tonight, you can get me a cocktail.”

“Sure. What sort?”

He smirked at them and then made for the door, throwing over his shoulder, “A Screaming
Orgasm will do.”
 Chapter 24
Chapter Summary

Some fluff to make Spencer's hangover better.

Spencer groaned into his pillow as the bright morning sun cut through his eyelids. He tried to
turn his head to avoid the stabbing pain but it was too heavy and refused to budge. He
groaned again and pulled the blanket up over his eyes. One arm managed to reach behind him
but he found the bed empty, but still warm. Aaron had already gotten up, but not too long
ago. Spencer heard the fridge close and realised that he must be in the kitchen. This was
confirmed when a few minutes later the bed dipped, preceded by the smell of coffee.

“I thought I heard you wake up,” Aaron said in a quiet voice as he placed a cup on the
bedside table.

Spencer pulled the blanket down enough to peek up at him. “Heard me?”

Aaron tried to hold back a laugh. “Yes, I heard you complaining from the kitchen.”

“Urgh, it’s too bright,” he moaned, and pulled the blanket back up.

A hand rested on his shoulder and rubbed in circles through the duvet. “I’ve gotten you some
water and coffee - maybe that will help?” Spencer made an indiscriminate noise from beneath
his cotton mountain. “How about some breakfast? I can make eggs?”

He peeked out again. “That...doesn’t sound like the worst plan in the world.”

Aaron ducked in and pressed a kiss to the tiny bit of exposed skin on Spencer’s brow. “I also
spied a can of beans in your cupboard but I’m not sure if they’ll be too rich.”

He pulled a face. “Just eggs will be fine. But thanks for hunting and gathering for me.”

“Okay, well you stay here, and try and drink some water - I’ll bring food to you when it’s
done.”

Aaron returned to the kitchen and Spencer decided that it might be best to rip the bandaid off
in one fell swoop and sat himself up. His head pounded as he opened his eyes all the way and
he manoeuvred the pillows so he was propped up against the headboard. He decided to be a
good boy and drained the glass of water first and then moved on to sipping his coffee. His
stomach rolled a little in protest but he tried to ignore it - he needed the caffeine hit badly.

As he waited for Aaron to return, his mind wandered back to the events of the previous
evening. He was sure that his cheeks were still red from Rossi overhearing their assignation,
but other than one or two smartarse quips, the man had been strangely silent on the issue.
Aaron had mused that it was because Rossi had been trying to set him up with numerous
people for years and was just glad that he was now happy. Whatever the reason, Spencer was
just glad that he’d not made a huge deal about it. He’d been very drunk, and dancing with
Aaron had made him hornier than he’d been in a long time, but once the post-orgasmic glow
had worn off, reality had set back in. His inebriated state hadn’t cushioned it much and he
had spent the rest of the evening shocked that he’d been one of those people who hooked up
in a toilet block. It was just so 80’s rock star-esque…

Embarrassment and potential communicable diseases aside, it had been some of the most
exciting sex that Spencer had ever had. Yes it had been hard and frantic, but the public
location, the chance of getting caught (more so than they actually did), and the fact that
Aaron had been gone so long had all accumulated to make it hot and exciting and mind
blowing. He was pretty sure that he would get a lot of distance out of those memories when
Aaron was away and he had only his hand for company.

“You can’t be feeling that bad if you’re smiling,” Aaron teased from the doorway. He held a
plate in each hand and he handed them over to Spencer as he climbed back into bed.

“Just revisiting last night,” Spencer said as innocently as he could. He handed a plate back
over once Aaron was settled and then started on his own eggs and toast.

“That was a lot of fun,” Aaron agreed, and the grin on his face told Spencer that he knew
exactly which part of last night he had been thinking about.

“I’m still slightly mortified about where we did it though.”

“Germaphobe?”

Spencer waved his fork in the air. “Not as such. People tend to assume that I am because of
my contact aversion but that’s not so much about germs as it is my anxieties. And really, you
find more germs on a kitchen sponge or cutting board than a toilet. I guess it’s more the
social stigma that makes it awkward.”

Aaron chuckled. “I’ll make sure that I don’t jump you in the bathroom again then.”

“Oh, I don’t think you should rule it out entirely…”

“You liked it despite being mortified?”

He shrugged. “It holds a certain appeal.”

“So just make sure that we don’t have an unwitting audience next time?”

“Yeah...that would have made it much better.”

They looked at each other for a moment and then both started to laugh as the ridiculousness
of the situation hit them.

“Do you think that Dave will ever forgive you?”

Aaron shook his head. “Not a chance. He’ll bide his time and then when he thinks I’ve
forgotten about it, he’ll bring it up right at the moment that’s guaranteed to be the most
awkward for me.” It was his turn to shrug. “Worth it, though.” He grinned.

They made a proper start on their breakfast, the food helping to settle Spencer’s stomach.
Once they were done, Aaron jumped up and took their dishes to the kitchen and then returned
with another two steaming mugs of hot coffee. He was altogether too cheerful when he
passed one to Spencer.

“How on earth do you not have a hangover?” Spencer demanded, feeling rather miffed.

“I drank my body weight in water before we went to bed. I’ve been up peeing all night but it
always seems to do the trick.”

“Huh. I really should have thought of that.”

“You can’t be a genius at everything.”

“I guess not. So, what's the plan for today?”

“I’ve got to pick Jack up at eleven, but I'm planning on just having a quiet afternoon in. He’ll
be pretty exhausted from the party so I’m sure he won’t object to just watching movies.”

The idea of lounging on the couch for the rest of the day sounded blissful to Spencer. “I love
that idea.”

“Do you want to spend just tonight?” Aaron asked, a hint of shyness in his voice. “Or
tomorrow night as well?”

He thought for a moment and then gave a brief shake of his head. “As much as I’d love to
stay Sunday as well, I really shouldn’t. I’m back at work on Monday and I’ll need to get
some things done here beforehand.”

Aaron squeezed his hand. “That’s okay, I understand. I’m just being greedy.”

Spencer leaned over and gave him a kiss. “If it wasn’t my first day back after, well,
everything, I’d have said yes in a heartbeat.” He kissed him again and then sat back up so he
could take another much needed sip of coffee. “What about tomorrow? Jack has soccer,
doesn’t he?”

“No, they have a bye this week so we have a rare Sunday free. I’m not sure what we’ll get up
too - maybe we can all decide that tonight?”

A warm feeling welled up in Spencer’s chest at the feeling of inclusion he already had in this
little family. Things were moving so fast but they just seemed so right, so perfect, that he
couldn’t even find it in himself to worry. His life up until this point had been full of worry
and anxiety and it was glorious to be free of that and be able to just enjoy the moment. He put
his mug on the table and looked over at the clock, noticing that it was just before nine. “So,
you’re not picking him up till eleven?”
“Yeah, that’s right. Why? What do you have in mind?”

Spencer grinned and pulled him to him. “I was thinking maybe an encore?”

Aaron’s answering grin was positively salacious. “Pure genius.”

*****

Spencer waited until midday to head to Aaron’s house so that he’d have time to pick up Jack
and get home before Spencer arrived. Jack was ecstatic when he saw him, running up to
Spencer and throwing his arms around his hips to hug him.

“Hey, buddy,” he greeted the boy, ruffling his hair. “How are you?”

“I’m good,” he whispered.

Spencer quirked an eyebrow and knelt down so he was at eye level with the boy. “Why are
you whispering?” he whispered.

“Dad said that you have a headache and don’t feel very well and that I have to be as quiet as I
can or you might not want to stay but I really want you to stay so I’m trying to be reeeeally
quiet.”

“Ah, I see. Well that’s very kind of you, Jack. As a matter of fact, I do have a headache, but
I’m not going to leave if you talk in your normal voice.”

“Really?”

“Really. As long as you don’t yell in my ear, I think we’ll be fine.”

He managed to look scandalised. “I wouldn’t do that, I promise!”

“I know you wouldn’t.”

Aaron was watching them interact from the hallway, a smile on his lips. “Jack, why don’t you
go and choose a movie while I make lunch, and then once we’ve eaten we can watch it?”

A very serious face turned to his father. “Will there be popcorn?”

Aaron regarded his son with an equally serious expression. “If you eat all of your sandwich
and keep your volume down, then yes, you can have popcorn.”

“Yay! Popcorn!” Jack cheered, and then slapped a hand over his mouth to quiet himself.

The two adults laughed as he ran off to the living room to pick a DVD and then Aaron
stepped up to Spencer and pulled him in for a kiss. It was sweet and soft, and they both
melted into it. “I know I only did this an hour ago, but I missed it terribly,” he confessed.

Spencer smiled and kissed him again. “I know what you mean. I can’t seem to get enough.”

“Luckily for you, there’s no shortage of supply of kisses.”

“That makes me very lucky indeed.”

They stood for another minute, just enjoying the feel of each other, the kisses slow and
languid. With Jack only the next room over, neither of them increased the tempo, but just
took comfort from being so close. Spencer felt a tightness in his chest as the affection he felt
for Aaron bubbled up and threatened to overflow. It was much too early in the relationship to
even start considering what that could possibly mean so although he acknowledged the
emotions, he gently pushed them back down inside to analyse later.

“I should probably start on lunch before my son starts gnawing on the furniture,” Aaron said
as he somewhat reluctantly broke the kiss.

“Mmm, I guess.” Spencer allowed his mouth to pull down in a pout.

Aaron laughed and pulled at his lip with the pad of his finger. “No sulking or you don’t get
popcorn.”

“You drive a hard bargain.”

“As I said last night, I have many talents.”

They headed for the kitchen and it wasn’t long before they had assembled ham and salad
sandwiches which they ate at the table. Once they had finished (and Jack had very pointedly
shown his father his empty plate) they made popcorn and retired to the living room. Jack had
chosen Finding Nemo and pulled a green beanbag in the shape of a frog to a spot in front of
the television. Aaron noticed where he had chosen to sit and took the popcorn back into the
kitchen, returning a moment later with a smaller bowl filled with popcorn just for Jack. He
deposited it in the boy’s lap and then took a seat next to Spencer. As the movie started to play,
he patted his lap with his hand and Spencer swung his legs around so they were hooked over
Aaron’s and leaned back against the armrest.

Spencer tried to concentrate on the movie but found himself too relaxed to pay it much
attention. Aaron’s thighs were warm under his legs and he was absently rubbing circles on
Spencer’s knees with his thumbs. It was such a casual, everyday kind of closeness but
Spencer was cherishing every moment of it. The bowl of popcorn was balanced in his lap and
their hands would brush against each other as they both reached in at the same time. His eyes
swung away from the screen to focus on Aaron and he drank in the details of his lover’s face.
The warmth of his eyes, the softness of his lips, the long line of his nose, and the strength of
his jaw. It all added up to the most wonderful person that Spencer had ever met.

The movie came to an end and they popped in another one - Toy Story - and Spencer shifted
around until he was leaning against Aaron. He pressed a kiss to his cheek as an arm wrapped
around his shoulders and he sank against the warm body in a state of relaxed bliss. His
headache had faded, he was comfortable, Jack was entranced in the movie, and Aaron was
holding him as if he was the most precious thing in the world.

Spencer couldn’t remember a time he was ever happier.

 Chapter 25
Chapter Summary

Spencer goes back to work, and they run into an old flame of Aaron's.

If the weekend hadn’t been such a bright spot, Spencer would not have survived Monday
morning. He’d arrived back at work, proud of the way that he was managing to keep his
anxiety under control, only to find himself in the middle of a madhouse. Boyd Anders, the
head of his department looked to be almost in tears when he walked in and saw Spencer at his
desk. On top of having to coordinate the counselling and fallout from the shooting, he had
also been struggling to juggle the priority projects with staff that had been seconded from
other departments in the resulting staff shortage. From what he explained to Spencer, it
sounded like it would have just been easier to wait till Spencer and Ethan had returned.

“Three of the four reports I needed during the last two weeks were done so badly that I’ve
had to redo them, and you’ll probably find a heap of other stuff will need to be looked at
again as well. I’ve been pulling my hair out, Reid. I can’t tell you how glad I am that you’re
back.”

“Ethan is fighting to get a clearance for next week, so hopefully things will get better.” He
threw a glance at the empty desks. “How’s the uh, recruitment, going?”

Anders slumped down into Ethan’s chair and groaned into his hands. “Terribly. Despite the
likelihood of the same thing happening here again being slim to none, we’ve now been
tarnished with the ‘work place shooting’ brush. For positions that would normally garner
hundreds of applicants, we’ve had less than a dozen, and most of them aren’t anywhere near
qualified. I’m afraid it’s going to be rough going for you and Jones for a while.”

Spencer attempted to give his boss a reassuring smile. “I’m sure it won’t be all that bad. And
as far as experience goes, it’s not all that necessary. As long as they have the basic skills, I
can train them up. Might be good to not have someone with bad habits already ingrained.”

“Your optimism is astounding, but thank you for it anyway, Reid. I’ll leave you to it - I’m
sure you’ll need just today to catch up on emails and get yourself re-orientated so I’ll drop by
again tomorrow to brief you on your new projects.”

It turned out to be worse than Anders had thought. Spencer had almost two hundred emails in
his inbox and at least forty of those were either complaints about work not done properly, or
cries for help. It took the entire morning to just sort and prioritise them, and by the time he
broke for lunch, he was wishing he could turn the clock back and go back to spending time
with Aaron and Jack.
After spending Saturday inside, they decided that Sunday would be spent at the zoo. Spencer
had enjoyed it more than he could possibly have imagined. Jack peppered him with constant
questions about the animals, and would proudly offer up his own snippets of information on
the animals that he had learned about at school. Aaron confessed he was a meerkat enthusiast
and they had spent almost an hour at that exhibit alone. His knowledge about the small, furry
critters was more abundant than even Spencer’s, who had enjoyed learning more about them
from the sexiest lecturer that he’d ever had. Jack was enthralled with the idea of having a
guard meerkat at all times and he spent the afternoon popping up over the top of benches and
shrubs, arms held in front of him in an uncanny imitation of the animals.

They had stopped off at a diner for hamburgers on the way home, and it was with a heavy
heart that almost as soon as they got back to Aaron’s, Spencer had had to say goodbye so he
could get home himself. Jack was in tears, overtired from the day of walking, and upset that it
wouldn’t be Spencer reading him his bedtime story like the night before. He’d managed to
calm the boy by promising to go to soccer training on Tuesday night and, if Aaron wasn’t
away, he’d stay the night and help get Jack to school on the Wednesday.

The following evening couldn’t come soon enough for Spencer’s liking. He just had to get
through the rest of his first day back, and then come and do it all over again tomorrow. He
grabbed his lunch from the fridge in the break room, but decided to eat outside. One of the
walls of the room had been turned almost into a shrine for the victims of the shooting, with
photos and newspaper articles plastering every available surface. He didn’t feel comfortable
going about his mundane, day to day business under the watchful eyes of his dead colleagues
and preferred to find a quiet tree to sit under.

He sat down and pulled out his phone, feeling his stomach flip happily when he saw a
message from Aaron. He knew that he was still acting like a lovestruck teen, but he couldn’t
help his reaction - each text meant that Aaron had been thinking about him and it made him
smile stupidly.

AH - How’s the first day back going?

SR - You really don’t want to know. It’s pretty bad.

AH - Bad as in ‘I’m swamped with work’ or bad as in ‘I’m not coping with being back’?

SR - Bad as in ‘the little that was done while I was off has been done wrong and people are
demanding it be fixed RIGHT NOW’

AH - Ah, I see :(

SR - I guess it’s not too bad a thing. It helps keep me from dwelling I suppose.

AH - Yes, sometimes it’s better to be busy.

SR - How’s your day going?

AH - I’m actually having a quiet day just catching up on paperwork. It’s giving me lots of
time to daydream.
SR - And what are you daydreaming about?

AH - Oh, you know, the usual...you, me, naked, lubed, and alone ;-)

SR - Weird - I’ve had the EXACT same daydream!

AH - Well, that’s that then, I guess it’s fate. I know what we’ll be doing the next time I get you
alone.

SR - I shall wait with bated breath.

AH - Hopefully I don’t get called away so it’ll only be a short wait. Wouldn’t want you
passing out from oxygen deprivation.

SR - I shall wait with partially bated breath!

AH - If you require mouth to mouth, I’m available.

SR - Good to know!

AH - I haven’t done the training in a while so I might be rusty. You might need to help me
practice.

SR - You know my lips are always at your disposal.

AH - And THAT’S good to know!

SR - I had better head back to work :( Talk later?

AH - Definitely. Hope the rest of your day is better, love. Bye x

SR - Thanks x

*****

“Spence, will you help me practice kicking goals?” Jack had the soccer ball on the ground
and was toying with it with his foot. He looked unsure, as if he wasn’t certain that Spencer
would want to help him.

Spencer looked across to see Aaron standing with some of the other parents as Rossi talked to
them about the game the coming Saturday. “Sure thing, Jack. I’m not sure how good I’ll be
though.”

Jack grinned. “That’s okay! I just need you to stand in front of the goal and try and stop the
ball.” He kicked the ball out in front of him, and ran towards the empty goal at the end of the
field. Spencer followed after him, marveling at how quickly Jack had accepted him into his
life, and also how much he enjoyed being part of their life as well. He’d never been a kiddie
person but he felt comfortable around Aaron’s son and he felt much more confident now. He
smiled to himself as he took up his position in the centre of the goal, and waited for Jack to
begin.
Fifteen minutes later, Jack’s confidence was soaring and Spencer was reminded just why he
didn't play sports. Kick after kick saw the ball fly easily past his defenses, and no matter how
much effort he put in, he more often than not ended up on the ground with the ball resting
comfortably in the net. He had been utterly schooled by a six year old. Jack came over as
Spencer pulled himself to his feet after his last attempt and brushed the grass off his knees.

“Spence,” Jack said, tugging at the hem of his shirt to get his attention.

“What’s up, buddy?”

With a worried look, the boy turned to point to his dad, who was talking with a dark haired
woman who was wearing a sports bra and shorts. “I don’t like her.”

Spencer crouched down next to Jack and put his arm around the boy’s waist. “Who is she?
And why don't you like her?”

Jack wrapped an arm around Spencer’s neck, and whispered into his ear. “Her name is Beth.
She comes here to the park to run. She’s always talking to Daddy.”

Recalling Morgan’s words from so long ago, Spencer realised that it was the woman that
Aaron had helped with the triathlon training. Morgan had never said specifically, but it had
been obvious that they’d dated for a short while. “And why don't you like her?”

He pressed his face against Spencer’s neck, suddenly shy. “Because…” he said.

“Because why, Jack? Did she do something to you?”

The boy shook his head, but didn't answer. Spencer rubbed at his back, giving him time. After
a long moment, Jack answered. “She looks at Daddy like she wants to have him for dinner.”

Trying not to laugh, Spencer picked the boy up. “Is that so?”

Jack nodded, his eyes still wide with worry. “Will you help me rescue him?”

His lips quirked as he suppressed his smile. “Of course I will.”

Carrying Jack, Spencer walked across the field. As they got closer, he could see how
awkward Aaron looked, and how much Beth was crowding into his personal space. He knew
that if Aaron wasn’t as polite as he was, he’d have told her to go away long before now. Once
they got within twenty feet, Jack motioned he wanted down, and as soon as his feet hit the
ground, he was running towards his father. “Daddy!” he cried as he was scooped up into
Aaron’s arms. Spencer stopped a short distance away, not knowing exactly how much Aaron
had told the parents on Jack’s team. He didn't want to be presumptuous and embarrass his
lover with a public display of affection here, especially after their discussion at the bar the
previous week, but he was sorely tempted. He felt a surge of jealousy wash over him, and
even though it was clear that Aaron wanted nothing to do with this woman, Spencer still felt
a powerful need to lay claim to him in a very obvious manner. He pushed down the
temptation, vowing to be calm and adult about the situation.

“Hi there, Jack!” the woman said brightly.

Jack looked stonily at the woman and didn't respond.

“Are you forgetting your manners?” Aaron chided.

“Hello, Beth,” Jack mumbled.

“Did you have fun at practice today?”

“Yes. Spencer helped me kick some goals.”

The woman looked over to Spencer for the first time. “Hi, I’m Beth,” she introduced.

Spencer gave a little wave. “Nice to meet you.”

“Do you help coach the team much?” she asked.

“I don't play - I was just giving Jack a hand while Aaron was busy.”

“I see. Friend of the family are you?”

Jack huffed. “No, he’s Daddy’s boyfriend,” he corrected her loudly.

Spencer felt his face flush as the woman looked at him in disbelief. Aaron stepped over to
Spencer and kissed his cheek. Jack leaned over and wrapped his arms around Spencer’s neck,
pulling himself across so he was now attached to Spencer and not his father.

“I didn't know you swung both ways, Aaron,” Beth said, narrowing her eyes. “I thought that
you would have mentioned something like that considering we were dating.”

“It was only three dates, and it’s probably because you always seemed more interested in
talking about yourself than getting to know me.”

Spencer turned his head to hide his smile in Jack’s hair.

“Well what a picture of domestic bliss you all make.” The bitterness in her voice betrayed the
words.

“Daddy is very happy,” Jack told her. “And so am I. Spencer is cool.”

Aaron pulled the two of them to him in a hug. “I am so happy. Now, how about we head
home and watch some cartoons before Spencer reads you your bedtime story?” He spared
Beth one last glance. “Enjoy your run, Beth.”

They left her there, glaring, as they made their way to the car. Rossi waved at them, a
knowing smirk on his face, and Aaron gave him a jaunty wave goodbye. Spencer gave Jack a
big hug before he strapped him into his booster seat, thrilled that the boy had set Beth straight
in the most wonderful way possible.
 Chapter 26

It wasn’t long before Spencer and Aaron’s lives fell into a routine together. It was a
changeable routine, and they both had to be flexible, but it was a routine nonetheless. When
Aaron wasn’t away on a case, Spencer would have dinner with he and Jack at least twice
during the week, sometimes more. Jessica would often offer to have Jack overnight on the
Friday and they would spend the night at Spencer’s apartment, just having a quiet one in, or
ending up there after a night out with the team. Spencer would spend almost every Saturday
at Aaron’s, where they would have movie night, or have Aaron’s friend Pat and her twins
over for dinner. On Sunday they would watch Jack play soccer and then take the boy for ice
cream afterwards.

When Aaron was away on a case, Spencer would spend time with Ethan, or work on the
occasional journal article. He and Aaron would stay in regular contact with phone calls and
text messages, but Spencer still missed him terribly. He also found himself missing the time
he spent with Jack. The first time the team were away for a long stint, he found himself
calling Jessica and asking if he could come and visit Jack. He’d expected her to be either put
out or wary, but instead she was relieved. It turned out that the boy had been missing Spencer
just as much and had been moping about. When he'd arrived, Jack had thrown himself into
his arms and hadn’t let go for almost fifteen minutes.

It quickly became the norm for Spencer to go over to Jess’s place once or twice a week for
dinner while Aaron was away, and having that contact with Jack helped him cope with his
partner being away. Aaron couldn’t hide how happy he was over the bond that Spencer and
his son had formed. Spencer would often look up from whatever he was doing with the boy
to find Aaron gazing at them with a broad smile on his face. His initial worry about being
able to interact successfully with children had dissipated - apart from Jack, he also found
himself easily getting along with the twins, and JJ’s son, Henry. They seemed to enjoy
spending time with him as well, and could easily persuade him for extra demonstrations of
Physics Magic.

His work life was also starting to settle back into a routine. Ethan had returned to work only a
week after Spencer had, and between the two of them they had trained up another two
assistants - Mike and Hannah. The new starters were easy to get along with, and fast learners
and after a difficult first few weeks, he was finally caught up and back on top of things. To
celebrate the end of the probationary period for Mike and Hannah, they’d all gone out for
drinks and Aaron had come along to meet his workmates. He and Ethan had already cleared
the air, and Spencer had made sure that they spent time together to get to know each other
better. It had been awkward at first, but they’d soon put their differences behind each other.
Ethan had asked Aaron to be his wingman the night that they all went out for drinks, and
Aaron had used his profiling skills to identify three men who were interested in Spencer’s
best friend. One of them turned out to be Mike, and several drinks after Aaron had pointed
this out, Ethan had disappeared with their new co-worker. They’d called it a night soon after,
and the following morning Aaron got a text from Ethan calling him the best wingman ever.
An unexpected upside from his relationship with Aaron was that Spencer found that his
anxieties had gotten much better. The frequency of his attacks dropped lower than they’d
been in years, and when he did have them, Aaron was able to help him get them under
control. Spencer put it down to the fact that he socialised a lot more with his partner - he
spent a lot of time now in the company of other people, and the more he did it, the less his
anxieties spiked. When he found it all getting too much, he would seek out Aaron or Jack,
knowing that it was easier to ground himself with their presence.

All in all, Spencer was happier and more content than he’d ever been. His mother picked up
on it and demanded to be told all about his new relationship. He found himself willingly
talking about it with her, spending over an hour on the phone talking about the changes that
had happened. Diana was overjoyed that her son had finally met someone and begged to be
able to meet him. When Spencer told Aaron this, Aaron had immediately arranged to take the
next Monday off work and Jess to take Jack so they could fly to Vegas and visit Spencer’s
mother. They’d had a wonderful time, and Diana and Aaron had gotten along wonderfully. Of
course, when she asked to speak to Aaron alone, Spencer was mortified when his partner later
confessed that she had threatened to dig out his eyes with a hot spoon if he hurt her son.
Aaron had just pulled him close and told him that he was happy that his mother was so
protective.

When they were saying their goodbyes, Aaron left to give them some privacy and Diana had
hugged Spencer hard. “He’s a good man,” she said. “He’s good for you and you have no idea
how glad I am that you’ve finally allowed someone in.”

He’d grinned stupidly and hugged his mother back, before replying, “I know, Mom. He
makes me so happy. I know how lucky I am.”

“Have you told him yet?” she asked, pinning him with a fierce look.

“Told him what?” Spencer asked, confused.

Diana huffed. “That you love him, Spencer!”

He found himself blushing. “Um, well, it’s a bit early for that, isn’t it? We’ve only been
together for five months.”

His mother rolled her eyes. “Honey, love doesn’t work to a schedule. If you have a
connection with someone and feel that deeply for them, you know when you know.”

“How did you figure it out? I don’t even think I’d admitted it to myself yet.”

“Oh, Spence, I knew the minute you walked in the door. Apart from the fact that you’re
glowing with happiness, you and Aaron move around each other like planets in orbit. When
you move, he automatically responds, and vice versa. You’re so in tune with the other, and
just fit.” She hugged him again. “I’m sure you’ll figure it all out. Now, promise me the next
time you come to visit, you’ll bring Jack. I want to meet my grandson.”

Spencer laughed, and didn't even bother contradicting her. His mother had welcomed Aaron
into her life and would do the same with Jack. When she accepted someone, she did it
completely and to her, the two Hotchners were now family.

He was deep in thought when he met Aaron at the car and spent the trip back to the hotel in
contemplative silence. The realisation that what he felt for his partner was love had made
several things click into place in his mind, and he needed to think about what he would do
next. He knew that Aaron was happy, and was pretty sure that he felt the same way if his little
pet names were anything to go by. Even if he wasn’t quite at the stage of making certain
declarations, Spencer didn’t think that Aaron would freak out if he heard those three little
words come from Spencer. He knew that Aaron wouldn’t rush into anything - he had Jack to
consider, and so he would make sure that he was absolutely certain before he committed so
completely.

They arrived back at the hotel and when they had gotten back to their room, Aaron took
Spencer into his arms and held him tight. “Are you okay?” he asked quietly, his lips pressed
against soft curls.

Spencer hummed. “Yeah, I’m fine. Saying goodbye to Mom is always hard.”

“We’ll make sure we get over here again soon for another visit.”

Spencer smiled at the word ‘we’ and hugged Aaron hard. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, Spence. Right, we’d better have a shower and get dressed - I’ve gotten us a dinner
reservation for seven.”

His eyes flicked to the clock on the bedside table. He grinned slyly and wrapped his arms
about Aaron’s neck. “It’s only just gone six. I don’t think we need to rush quite so much.”

“Oh really?” Aaron raised an eyebrow and kissed the tip of Spencer’s nose. “And what
exactly do you propose we do instead?”

Spencer didn't answer with words, just drew his partner in for a kiss and started to unbutton
his shirt.

*****

Another month passed, and Spencer still hadn’t told Aaron how he felt. It wasn’t that he
didn't want to, and he wasn’t even scared of doing it, but the right moment just hadn’t come
along. He didn’t want to do anything ostentatious and extravagant, but he also didn't want to
just blurt it out while they were peeling carrots in the kitchen. He wanted it to be special, and
heartfelt, and memorable. Neither Ethan nor Morgan had ever been in a committed, long term
relationship and so Spencer didn’t have anyone he could get advice from. His mother asked
in every letter if he’d told him yet, and he knew that if he spoke to her, she’d just say to tell
him outright.

He finally settled on a plan somewhere in the middle. If he kept waiting for the ‘perfect’
moment, it would never come, but he also wanted it to be somewhat planned so he wouldn’t
stuff it up entirely.
SR - Was thinking tomorrow we could go somewhere nice for dinner…

AH - Sounds great :)

SR - I’ll make reservations then and keep my fingers crossed you don’t get a case that takes
you out of the state.

AH - The few files I have on my desk are all local so shouldn’t be a problem.

SR - A lot can change in a day.

AH - True :( Maybe cross your toes as well...just cross everything!

SR - Should I put my legs behind my head?

AH - Why don't you save that part for AFTER dinner? ;-)

SR - And they say I’m the genius…

AH - I have my moments. See you tomorrow x

SR - Can’t wait. See you then x

He was grinning as he booked a table at one of their favourite restaurants, the one near the
park that they loved to walk through. The weather was warming up and it would be a pleasant
night for a stroll after dinner. He figured that he could either tell Aaron then, or wait until
they got back home. Either way, tomorrow was the day.

*****

A lot could change in a day. A shiver went through Spencer as he thought back to those
prophetic words from yesterday. 24 hours, 1440 minutes, one rotation of the earth - in that
short space of time wars could be won, empires could crumble, and hearts could be broken.

He was shoved out of the way as nurses rushed into the room, pulling in the resus trolley,
accompanied by the high pitched whine of the heart monitor flat lining. Spencer watched on,
helpless, his eyes never leaving the pale face of the man that he loved. Tears streamed down
his cheeks as a nurse came in and led him outside to the corridor. He collapsed into a chair,
his whole world crumbling about him.

What he wouldn’t do to turn back the clock, and to take one of the many opportunities that
he’d had to tell Aaron he loved him. But they were gone, and he may never get the chance
again.
 Chapter 27

Twelve hours earlier…

Spencer walked into the office carrying a tray of coffees and said a cheerful hello to Hannah.
He had been in a great mood since he woke up, excited about his date later with Aaron. He
would finally say those three little words that would tell his amazing, smart, funny, gorgeous
partner just how much he meant to him.

“Someone is chirpy today,” his co-worker said with a grin as he deposited a coffee on her
desk.

“It’s a glorious day, Hannah - what’s not to be happy about?”

Ethan and Mike stumbled through the door, both looking tired and rumpled, but extremely
happy. Hannah groaned. “Urgh, today is going to be torture for me, isn’t it?”

“What’s the matter, Han? Does our happiness offend you?” Ethan teased.

“I don't mind happiness, but you two -” She pointed at the latecomers, “- are so adorable in
your honeymoon period glow that it’s sickening. I have never seen anything so sweet and
fluffy in my life.”

“You should have been around when Spence and Aaron got together,” Ethan drawled. “They
were way worse than us.”

Spencer poked his best friend as he handed over a coffee. “No, we weren’t.”

“Don’t even try to deny it, Spence. I still remember that first day at the cafe. You couldn’t sit
still, waiting for Aaron to show up to collect his wallet. You were head over heels and you
hadn’t even been on a date yet.”

Spencer turned Hannah, who was sitting by the window. “Hannah, don’t listen to a word he’s
saying. Ethan is full of shit.”

“Oh, I know he’s full of shit, Reid, but you’re just as bad when it comes to oozing happiness.
Every time you walk past my desk I half expect kittens and glitter to appear in your wake.”

“Well, you don't have to worry about me leaving pussy in my wake,” Ethan said with a smirk.

Mike threw a pen at him. “Stop being crude,” he chastised him. “You’re not a twelve year old
boy.”

“I beg to differ,” Spencer quipped.

“Well fuck, I guess we’ll have to break up then, Ethan - I’m not going to prison for you.”
Ethan clutched at his chest, acting mortally wounded. “And here I was, thinking I meant
something to you!”

“I guess today just isn’t your day,” Mike said with a grin.

“Won’t be yours either, when you find you can’t have this delectable arse after we finish
work.”

“I wouldn’t go as far as saying it was delectable…”

“What would you use then? Gorgeous? Heavenly? Perfect? Lush?” He turned his back and
waggled his butt to make his point.

“Fine! Damn you for knowing my weakness!”

Ethan made a kissy face at his partner, and Hannah and Spencer just laughed at their antics.
Anders walked in the room and they settled down so they could have their morning meeting
before starting their day.

It was only an hour or so later when Spencer got a message from Aaron.

AH - We’ve got a case but it’s local so shouldn’t interfere with our plans for tonight.

SR - Do you need me to push back the reservation time? It’s for 7.

AH - Maybe to 8? Just in case.

SR - Easy done. I guess if you’re ready earlier we’ll be able to find *something* to keep us
occupied ;-)

AH - I have no doubt :-*

SR - See you later x

AH - Can’t wait x

Spencer made a note to call the restaurant when they opened for lunch to change the booking,
and then got on with his work. He was almost bouncing with excitement and couldn’t wait
for his working day to end. Aaron was finally going to find out just what he meant to him,
and that just sent a warm glow through his whole body. Spencer had never even dreamed that
he’d find someone so special to share his life with, but somehow he had and he was never
going to let go. His future wasn’t hazy and indistinct anymore, but crystal clear. He could see
them, years down the track, watching Jack graduate, going on holidays together, fighting and
then making up, paying bills and moaning about taxes, sharing a quiet retirement together…it
might still be early days, and they hadn’t even discussed such things, but Spencer had no
doubt in his mind that the future would vary much at all from what he pictured.

Spencer and Hannah took the early lunch break so Ethan and Mike could lunch together (or
more likely, find a quiet broom closet for some lunchtime fun), and they spent it outside on
the lawn, enjoying the warmth of the sun and some good books. They both grumbled when
their hour came to an end, and headed back inside less enthusiastically than when they left.
Spencer was surprised to see Morgan waiting for him when they got back to the office.

“Hey, what are you doing here?”

Morgan’s face was pained, and immediately a chill went through Spencer. “Reid, Hotch has
been injured. He’s in the hospital, and I know that he’d want you to be there.”

Time seemed to slow, to grind to a halt, and he groped at his desk to keep himself upright.
“In...injured? How bad is it?”

His friend crossed the gap to him and lay a hand on his shoulder to steady him. “He was shot,
twice.” A flicker of something - Pain? Worry? Fear? - showed on Morgan’s face. “In the
chest.”

Spencer’s legs gave way and Morgan caught him before he could fall. “Aaron…”

Morgan helped Spencer into a chair, and Hannah rushed to the kitchen to get a glass of water,
while Ethan hovered around like a mother hen.

“How bad?” Ethan murmured to Morgan quietly so Spencer wouldn’t hear, as Hannah helped
him take a few sips.

Morgan rubbed at his eyes and sighed. “I don’t know, man. He’s in surgery, but he lost a lot
of blood, and I’m guessing there’s internal injuries.”

“Fuck.” He cut a glance to Spencer. “It’ll destroy him if he loses Aaron.”

“I know,” Morgan agreed. “I guess we can only wait and see what happens.”

Spencer pushed himself up on shaky legs. “We need to go.” He looked at Ethan. “Will you
tell Anders what’s happened?”

Ethan nodded and pulled his friend in for a hug. “Yeah, ‘course I will. Don’t worry about
anything here - just concentrate on being there for Aaron.”

Hannah hugged him and Mike clapped him on the shoulder, and then they were leaving,
Spencer following Morgan blindly, unable to think clearly, just trusting that his friend would
get him to Aaron’s side. It wasn’t long before they had arrived at the hospital and found the
rest of the team gathered in a waiting room.

“He’s still in surgery,” Rossi told them before they could even ask. “He has a lot of internal
injuries which is complicating things. The doctor has said he’ll update us as soon as he has
anything for us.”

Spencer looked around the room. “Jack?”

“His aunt is picking him up from school now,” JJ told him, before pulling him in for a hug.
“Maybe you should sit?” she suggested.
He shook his head, feeling unable to sit still. “What actually happened? Morgan said he got
shot in the chest - wasn’t he wearing a vest?”

Rossi’s face darkened. “We had only just arrived at the precinct and were being briefed by the
local leos. The unsub was being fed information by one of the clerks and knew that they’d
called in the feds. He stormed the station and opened fire. Six other officers were injured,
though none as severely as Hotch. It took everyone by surprise - we hadn’t even had time to
start building a profile yet so we didn't even have a heads up.”

“And the bastard who did this?”

Prentiss had gone to the water cooler and handed Spencer a cup. “He opened fire in the
middle of a police station, Reid. No one who does that is getting out alive.”

“Good,” he snarled. He turned away from them, unable to take the sympathetic looks any
longer. Somewhere nearby, Aaron was fighting for his life and there was absolutely nothing
Spencer could do to help. His ridiculously high IQ, his numerous PhDs, his eidetic memory -
none of it was of any use to his lover. He had never felt so helpless before in his entire life.
All he could do was stand around and wait for someone else to save the man that he loved.

The realisation that he hadn’t yet told Aaron that he loved him made his knees buckle once
again. He felt strong hands under his arms and Morgan was helping him to a chair. He gasped
in huge lungfuls of air, tears streaming down his cheeks as he faced the fact that Aaron might
not survive and he would never know just what he meant to Spencer. He’d had countless
opportunities, but he’d dismissed them all, waiting for the time to be right. But now it might
never come.

Morgan was rubbing circles on his back, but kept the empty platitudes to himself. Spencer
was grateful, knowing that any reassurances right now would just sound hollow and fake. It
wasn’t okay, and chances are it wouldn’t be. He knew the statistics of surviving a bullet
wound to the chest, and the numbers themselves on the surface made it appear quite hopeful -
but Aaron had not only been shot twice, but had already suffered the trauma of being stabbed
multiple times. There was only so much a human body could take. All he could do was hope
and wait.

It was almost an hour later that Jessica arrived with Jack. The boy was pale and withdrawn,
but as soon as he saw Spencer, he ran over and threw himself into his arms. He held him
tight, taking as much comfort as he gave. Jess followed him over and sat down in the chair
next to them. Spencer let go of Jack with one hand to reach across and give her hand a
squeeze, and she smiled gratefully at him. Her eyes told the story of how worried she was -
not just for Aaron, but for Jack if his dad didn't pull through. The team were obviously
thinking the same thing, and Spencer overheard Prentiss murmur to JJ that “Aaron should
have taken early retirement.” He guessed that that was something that their team leader had
been offered either after his own attack, or after his ex-wife was murdered, but he knew
Aaron well enough to know why he wouldn’t have accepted it. They had not spoken much
about the past incidents, but Spencer knew that Aaron loved what he did and also that Jack
was very proud of how his dad kept everyone safe.
Rossi disappeared and returned shortly with a tray of hot drinks. He passed Jess a tea,
Spencer a coffee, and Jack a hot chocolate. Spencer disentangled the boy’s arms from around
his neck and helped him get comfortable against his chest so he could drink his beverage
whilst still remaining close. The group sat quietly together, no one feeling up to the task of a
conversation. Jack soon fell asleep on Spencer’s shoulder, and he nestled his cheek against
the boy’s soft hair.

“I don't know what he’d do if you weren’t here,” Jess told him in a quiet voice.

Spencer narrowed his eyes. “He’d have you, Jess. He’d be doing as well as he could.”

She gave him a small smile and shook her head. “He idolises you, Spencer. When he’s with
me, he speaks of nothing else. He thinks of you as another father figure, and I know for a fact
that he wouldn’t have relaxed enough to fall asleep if it wasn’t for you.”

Warmth bloomed in Spencer’s chest as affection for the small boy flooded through him. He
may be asleep and wouldn’t hear, but he was done waiting to tell people how he felt. “I love
you, Jack,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to his forehead. The boy shifted in his sleep and
burrowed closer to Spencer, and he tightened his arms around him, vowing to always be there
for him, no matter what.

*****

It was three hours later that the surgeon finally appeared to advise them that Aaron was out of
theatre and in ICU. “It was touch and go for a while - the old scar tissue made it very difficult
to repair the new damage but we finally got the bleeding under control. He’s not out of the
woods yet though. The next 24 hours are going to be vital. If he pulls through that, then he’s
in with a good shot of recovering fully.”

“Can we see him?” Jess asked.

“Immediate family only, sorry. I know most of you are his colleagues and probably feel just
as close as family, but we need to minimise his exposure to others. A cold bug or a virus can
seriously set back his recovery time.”

Rossi nodded. “We understand.” He turned to Jess and Spencer. “Give him our love.”

They nodded and followed the surgeon through the double doors and down the corridor to the
ICU ward. Spencer gently shook Jack awake. “Hey buddy, we’re going to go and see your
dad. He’s still sleeping from his operation but I thought you’d want to say hello anyway.”

Jack rubbed at his eyes, and nodded before wrapping his arms once again around Spencer’s
neck. The surgeon showed them the room Aaron was in and then left them to speak to a
nurse. Aaron was deathly pale, with tubes and monitors trailing away from him. His entire
chest was bandaged, and rose shallowly as he breathed.

“Oh my,” Jess gasped as she took in the sight. She clapped a hand over her mouth, and
Spencer shifted Jack to one hip so he could wrap an arm around her waist.
“Daddy doesn’t look well,” Jack said, his eyes full of concern.

“He’s not, buddy. But hopefully he’ll be better soon, okay.”

He nodded, and reached out to pat Spencer’s cheek. “You’ll look after him like you look after
me and you’ll make him all better because you’re a doctor!”

Not being able to bring himself to explain that he wasn’t that kind of doctor, Spencer just
nodded. “I’m going to do my best to help him get better.”

A few minutes later, Jess looked across at Jack. “Hey Jackie, it’s getting late and I can hear
your tummy grumbling from here. How about we get you home and you can come and visit
your dad again in the morning?”

The boy considered this. “Are you going to stay here with him?” he asked Spencer.

“Of course I am. I’m not leaving here till your dad is all better.”

“Okay then, as long as you’re here so I know he’s getting looked after.”

Jess held out her arms and Jack was passed over to her. “Call me if anything changes,” she
said, before kissing him on the cheek.

“I will,” Spencer promised. “If the others are still out there, can you tell them I’ll be out to
see them soon?”

She nodded, and then Jack waved goodbye and they were leaving. Spencer sank into the chair
next to the bed and took Aaron’s hand in his. “I know you probably can’t hear me, but I need
you to know that I love you so very much, Aaron. I wish I’d told you sooner. I wish for that
so very much. Please, just promise me you’ll come back to me. That’s all I ask. I never
thought I’d find anyone I could love like I do you, and now that I’ve found you, I can’t lose
you. Please, Aaron, for me? Please don’t leave me.” There was no reply except for the
rhythmic beeping of the machines, and he rested his head on their joined hands, hoping
against hope that Aaron would hear him.

*****

It was late - closer to dawn than midnight, and Spencer was jolted awake by a high pitched
noise. He looked up to see a flat line running across the display on the ECG machine, and
then nurses were rushing through the door and he was being led into the hallway. A pain
ripped through his chest as he watched from outside as the team started CPR, and prepping
Aaron for defibrillation. The BAU team had left long ago, and Spencer had no one with him
to help him deal with what was happening. Tears dripped soundlessly from his cheeks as he
looked on helplessly. Adrenaline was pumped into his port, and Aaron was shocked again,
and again. There was no change to the ECG and Spencer let out a sob. This couldn’t be
happening. This wasn’t how it was supposed to end - he and Aaron were supposed to live
happily ever after, not be parted before it could even really begin.
The resuss team prepared the paddles again but one of the nurses held up a hand. The next
moment stretched out for an eternity, and then the green line jumped, and settled into a
rhythm. Spencer let out an explosive breath and collapsed down onto a chair, sobs wracking
his body. A few minutes later, the room was emptied of medical staff and the duty doctor
came to speak to him.

“Agent Hotchner is a fighter,” he said. “Took us a bit, but we got him back. We’ll keep a
close eye on him, but be aware that we might have a few more scares like this till he’s
through the other side.”

Nodding his thanks for the update, Spencer staggered into the room and into the chair. He
clasped Aaron’s hand and brought it up to his lips. “You scared me so much, love. Please
don’t do that again. I can’t lose you.”

The next few hours were quiet, and when the nurse came in to take Aaron’s morning
observations, Spencer took the opportunity to step out to the waiting room to call Jess. He
hadn’t wanted to wake her earlier, since he knew that she’d have gotten little sleep as it was
and there wasn’t much she could do.

“Spencer,” she said, sounding just as tired as he expected. “How is he?”

“He had a close call overnight, but they resuscitated him. He’s been good since then, and his
vitals seem to be getting stronger.”

“Jesus fucking Christ. How are you? Are you doing okay?”

He huffed out a humourless chuckle. “About as good as can be expected.”

“So, really shit?”

“Yeah, that about sums it up. Are you and Jack coming back this morning?”

“Yeah, I’m going to let him sleep as long as he wants, and then once I’ve gotten him some
breakfast we’ll come down.”

“Alright, well I’ll see you in a few hours then.”

“Will do. Bye, Spencer.”

He hung up, and made his way to the cafeteria. They were just opening, and he waited a few
minutes while they got the machines started to get his coffee. Once he had his brew, he
headed back to Aaron’s room, stopping to pick a book off the small library shelf in the
waiting room. He figured it would keep him distracted until Jess and Jack arrived. He walked
into the room and stopped short as he saw that Aaron was awake. The nurse was still there,
asking him a few questions. Spencer rushed to his side, flinging his coffee and book down on
the table.

“Spence?” Aaron’s voice was rough, but his eyes were warm as he looked at him.
“Oh, God, Aaron. You scared me so much.” He touched his face, unsure if he was
hallucinating from stress.

“This one is full of surprises,” the nurse said with a small smile at her patient. “We didn't
expect you back in the land of the conscious for another twelve hours at least.” She patted
Spencer on the back. “I’ll leave you to it. I’ve filled him in on his injuries so he knows to take
it easy. That means no hanky panky.” She winked and left them alone, closing the door
behind her.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, knowing it was a stupid question but asking anyway.

Aaron shrugged, and winced. “Sore. Exhausted. Stupid.”

“Aaron, this wasn’t your fault - you can’t blame yourself.”

He shook his head. “No, I feel stupid for waiting so damn long to say something I should
have said long ago. And I almost didn't get the chance. Spencer Reid, I love you with all of
my heart. I have for a long time now.”

A single tear slipped down Spencer’s cheek and he squeezed Aaron’s hand. “Funny you
should say that - I love you too. I’d been waiting for the perfect moment to tell you and it
never happened so I’d been planning on telling you at dinner. I’m sorry I didn't tell you
sooner.” He leaned forward and brushed a soft kiss to Aaron’s lips.

“Looks like we were both a bit stupid then.”

Spencer laughed. “Some genius I am, huh?”

“You’re my genius. And I love you so much. It might have taken me an age to say it, but now
that I have, I’ll never stop saying it.”

He kissed Aaron again, and felt the last piece of the puzzle of his heart click into place. “I
hope not, because we have forever together and I’m looking forward to hearing it, and saying
it back every single day.”
 Epilogue
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Spencer groaned as he was shaken awake and he opened his eyes to find Jack hovering over
him.

“Jack, is everything okay?”

The small boy nodded, a grin spreading across his face. “It’s time to get up, Spencer. Today is
the day we bring all of your things over here so you can live here all the time!”

He couldn’t help but laugh. “Today is that day, isn’t it? I’m glad that you’re excited.”

“Of course I’m excited! You’re here almost all the time but now it really will be all the time!”

“That makes me excited too.” He pulled him down into a hug and ruffled his hair, causing
Jack to shriek and try and wriggle out of his grip. He changed tactics and started tickling him,
which caused him to shriek again in between laughs. After a minute, he relented and the boy
fell against him, out of breath. Jack poked his tongue out at him and Spencer poked his right
back, and then jabbed him once more in the ribs. “Why is your dad already up?” he asked
once they’d both settled.

Jack shrugged. “He said he wanted to start making breakfast so we’ll be ready to go once
Uncle Derek and Uncle Dave get here.”

Spencer couldn’t help the small frown that pulled at his lips. Aaron was supposed to be
resting. He still hadn’t fully recovered from his injuries, and was going slightly stir crazy by
not being able to work. It had taken every ounce of Spencer’s powers of persuasion to get
him to agree to sit out the heavy lifting of the move and to let Spencer and their two BAU
helpers do it all. For all his complaining about wanting to get back to work, Aaron wasn’t
doing himself any favours to make that happen more quickly.

“Okay, well how about I get up and we go and distract him with something so I can take over
the cooking?”

Jack nodded, already a willing co-conspirator. He was proving to be somewhat of an expert

in convincing his dad to do things that involved sitting quietly and resting. They both climbed
out of bed and headed for the kitchen, where they found Aaron mixing up pancake batter.
There was already a pan of scrambled eggs on the stove, keeping warm. Spencer gave him a
kiss, and headed for the coffee pot.

“Dad, will you help me with my reading?”

“Can you see if Spence can do it?” Aaron asked. “I haven’t finished these yet.”

“Daaaaaaaad!” Jack whined. “I want you to help me read. Pleeeeeeease?”

 Since he had been hurt, Aaron had found it hard to say no to anything Jack asked, especially
if it involved spending time with him. Both his partner and his son were capitalising on that
at every opportunity. “Okay, okay, fine.” He handed the bowl over to Spencer. “Do you
mind?”

“Of course not, I love making pancakes.” Spencer grinned as Jack winked at him, before
grabbing his father’s hand and dragging him to the table. They started to work through Jack’s
reading homework and Spencer began pouring batter into the skillet. As he flipped the first
pancake, he snuck a peek at his new family and couldn’t keep the smile off his face. He had
finally found a home, full of love and laughter, and for the first time in his life, he felt
complete.

The end

Chapter End Notes

Well, we've come to the end of the story. What a crazy six months it's been! I want to
say the biggest thank you to everyone who has commented and left kudos - it means so
very much to me and I am eternally grateful for your love and support. You're all just
wonderful, and I'm sure you'll see me about the place! Much love, scarletmanuka xxx
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