The chart below shows the changes in the percentage of households with cars in one

European country between 1971 and 2001.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make
comparisons where relevant

The bar chart illustrates the number of cars ownership in households which changed in one
county in Europe from 1971 to 2001.

Overall, the households is no car that tended to decrease, while one car increased the
considerable proportion in the period 30 years. Besides that, each family had two cars which
fluctuated in this period.

Initially, no car accounted for the percentage about 50%, after, it is noticeable that the
households had no car which decreased dramatically from 1971 to 1991, and remained
unchanged to 2001, with about 30%. In addition, the family had one car in 1972 with under
40%, then it slightly declined around 5% after 10 years. However, the number of one car
substantially grew up to about 50% in 1991, and it grew down to over 40% in 2001. In terms
of two car in the household, in 1971 it occupied the lowest proportion, just under 20%, then it
increased modestly to nearly 30% in 1981, and this trend was repeated the same from 1991
to 2001.

Sửa lỗi ngữ pháp nâng cao

Error: The bar chart illustrates the number of cars ownership in households which changed
in one county in Europe from 1971 to 2001. Correction: The bar chart illustrates the number
of car ownerships in households which changed in one county in Europe from 1971 to 2001.
Explanation: "Cars ownership" should be corrected to "car ownerships" to properly indicate
the possession of cars within households. Additionally, "ownership" should be pluralized to
match the plural subject "car ownerships."

Error: Overall, the households is no car that tended to decrease, while one car increased
the considerable proportion in the period 30 years. Correction: Overall, the households with
no cars tended to decrease, while households with one car increased considerably over the
30-year period. Explanation: "Is no car" should be corrected to "with no cars" to indicate
possession by the households. Additionally, "the period 30 years" should be corrected to
"over the 30-year period" for proper grammar and clarity.

Error: Besides that, each family had two cars which fluctuated in this period. Correction:
Additionally, the number of families with two cars fluctuated during this period. Explanation:
"Each family had two cars" implies a consistent possession of two cars by each family, which
might not be accurate according to the context. Therefore, it's better to refer to the
fluctuation in the number of families with two cars.

Error: Initially, no car accounted for the percentage about 50%, after, it is noticeable that the
households had no car which decreased dramatically from 1971 to 1991, and remained
unchanged to 2001, with about 30%. Correction: Initially, the percentage of households with
no cars was about 50%. Afterwards, it is noticeable that the percentage of households with
no cars decreased dramatically from 1971 to 1991 and remained unchanged at about 30%
until 2001. Explanation: The sentence structure is unclear and contains run-on elements.
Breaking it into clearer, separate sentences makes the information more digestible.
Additionally, "it is noticeable that the households had no car" should be revised to "it is
noticeable that the percentage of households with no cars."
Error: In addition, the family had one car in 1972 with under 40%, then it slightly declined
around 5% after 10 years. Correction: In addition, the percentage of families with one car
was under 40% in 1972, then it slightly declined by around 5% after 10 years. Explanation:
"The family" should be corrected to "the percentage of families" to maintain consistency with
the context of percentages. Additionally, "with under 40%" should be revised to "was under
40%" for clarity.

Error: However, the number of one car substantially grew up to about 50% in 1991, and it
grew down to over 40% in 2001. Correction: However, the percentage of households with
one car substantially grew to about 50% in 1991, and then decreased to over 40% in 2001.
Explanation: "The number of one car" should be corrected to "the percentage of
households with one car" for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, "it grew down" should be
revised to "then decreased" to convey the idea more clearly.

Error: In terms of two car in the household, in 1971 it occupied the lowest proportion, just
under 20%, then it increased modestly to nearly 30% in 1981, and this trend was repeated
the same from 1991 to 2001. Correction: In terms of households with two cars, they
occupied the lowest proportion in 1971, just under 20%. Then, the percentage increased
modestly to nearly 30% in 1981, and this trend remained the same from 1991 to 2001.
Explanation: "Two car in the household" should be corrected to "households with two cars"
to accurately describe the subject. Additionally, the sentence structure is unclear and can be
improved by breaking it into separate sentences for better readability.

Task Achievement
Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay adequately addresses the requirements of the task by providing a
summary of the main features of the chart, including the changes in the percentage of
households with different numbers of cars between 1971 and 2001. The essay presents an
overview with information appropriately selected, such as the decreasing trend in
households with no car, the increasing trend in households with one car, and the fluctuation
in households with two cars. Key features are highlighted, but the details may be somewhat
inaccurate or unclear in places. For example, there are minor grammatical errors and
inaccuracies in the description of the data points, such as "the households is no car" and
"each family had two cars which fluctuated." Additionally, the essay could benefit from
clearer organization and smoother transitions between the different time periods and
categories of car ownership.

How to improve: To improve, ensure accuracy and clarity in the description of the data
points. Focus on providing a more organized and coherent structure to the essay, with clear
transitions between different aspects of the data. Additionally, consider refining language
usage and grammar to enhance readability and precision.

Coherence & Cohesion

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates some organization, as it attempts to present the

information chronologically. There is a clear attempt to summarize the main features of the
data. However, there are several issues with coherence and cohesion. The use of cohesive
devices is inadequate and sometimes inaccurate, leading to unclear relationships between
ideas. Additionally, there is repetition and lack of clear referencing, making the essay less
coherent overall. Paragraphing is attempted but lacks logical progression, affecting the
overall coherence of the essay.

How to improve:

Work on using cohesive devices more effectively and accurately to establish clearer
relationships between ideas. This could involve using appropriate linking words and phrases
to guide the reader through the information.

Ensure that referencing is clear and consistent throughout the essay to avoid repetition and
improve overall coherence.

Focus on logical paragraphing by organizing information in a structured manner, with each

paragraph addressing a specific aspect of the data. This will enhance the coherence and
readability of the essay.

Lexical Resource
Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task,
incorporating terms like "bar chart," "proportion," "fluctuated," "substantially," and "modestly."
There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, although some inaccuracies in word
choice are evident. For instance, "the households is no car" should be "households with no
car." The essay also makes some errors in spelling and word formation, such as "the
households had no car which decreased dramatically" should be "the percentage of
households with no car decreased dramatically."

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource, focus on enhancing accuracy in word
choice and collocation. Review the use of articles ("a," "an," "the") and ensure correct
subject-verb agreement. Additionally, pay attention to word formation and spelling to
minimize errors and enhance overall clarity.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a variety of sentence structures

and complex sentences, such as the opening sentence. However, there are several
grammatical errors throughout the essay, including tense inconsistencies ("Overall, the
households is no car" should be "Overall, the households with no car"), subject-verb
agreement issues ("the households is no car" should be "the households with no car"), and
awkward phrasing ("while one car increased the considerable proportion"). Punctuation
errors also detract from clarity and coherence.

How to improve: Focus on using a wider range of grammatical structures with greater
accuracy. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and noun phrases.
Additionally, revise for punctuation errors to enhance clarity and coherence. Practice
constructing more complex sentences while ensuring accuracy to improve overall
grammatical range and accuracy.
Bài chữa tham khảo
The bar chart delineates the evolution of car ownership within households in a single
European county from 1971 to 2001.

Overall, the percentage of households without a car demonstrated a downward trajectory,

while those with a single car experienced a notable increase over the three-decade period.
The prevalence of households possessing two cars fluctuated throughout the period.

Initially, the proportion of households devoid of a car stood at approximately 50%.

Subsequently, there was a significant decline in this category from 1971 to 1991, followed by
stabilization through 2001, settling at around 30%.

Conversely, households possessing one car accounted for just under 40% in 1971. This
figure experienced a marginal decline after ten years, only to undergo a substantial surge to
nearly 50% by 1991, before tapering to slightly over 40% by 2001.

As for households with two cars, their representation started at just under 20% in 1971. This
proportion modestly ascended to nearly 30% by 1981, and this pattern repeated from 1991
to 2001.