funny and sarcastic

01 - I AM NOT CLUMSY - IT IS JUST THE FLOOR HATES ME THE CHAIR AND TABLES ARE BULLIES
AND THE WALL IS ALWAYS GETTING IN THE WAY

02 - IT IS HARD BEING THE COOLEST SIBLING BUT SOMEBODY IS GOTTA DO IT

03 - I KNOW I SAID HI BUT I AM NOT PREPARED FOR A FOLLOW UP CONVERSATION

04 - BREAKING NEWS I DON'T CARE

05 - JUST ONE MORE EPISODE BEFORE BED. AAAAND IT IS 3AM

06 - I WOULD LOSE WEIGHT BUT I DON’T LIKE LOSING

07 - I CAME, I SAW I FORGOT WHAT I WAS DOING

08 - SO APPARENTLY, I AM DRAMATIC

09 - LIFE UPDATE STILL A MESS

10 - WHY DO THEY CALL IT A CRUSH? BECAUSE THAT’S HOW YOU FEEL WHEN THEY DON’T
FEEL THE SAME WAY IN RETURN.

11 - WHAT FKN DAY IS IT?

12 - I DON’T SWEAT. I SPARKLE.

13 - YES... I AM SINGLE AND YOU’LL HAVE TO BE FUCKING AMAZING TO CHANGE THAT

14 - IT IS FRIDAY TIME TO GO MAKE STORIES FOR MONDAY

15 - LIPSTICK IS ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA

16 - SUNDAY THE DAY LOVE AND HATE AT THE SAME TIME

17 - IF KARMA DOESN`T SMACK YOU I WILL

18 - MONDAY IS ANOTHER DAY TO BE KILLING IT

19 - IT IS SO HOT HERE... OH SORRY. SHOULD I LEAVE?

20 - LIFE HAPPENS COFFEE HELPS

21 - SATURDAY IS FOR SHOPPING (ONLINE & IN BED)

22 - BEDROOM SAVE LIVES - STAY THE FUNCK HOME

23 - I AM NOT SHORT I AM CONCENTRATED AWESOME

24 - DUCT TAPE CAN’T FIX STUPID BUT IT CAN MUFFLE THE SOUND

25 - I AM NOT A HOT MESS I AM A SPICY DISASTER

26 - C’EST LA FUCKING VIE

27 - IT IS NOT EASY BEING MY WIFES ARM CANDY

28 - I HAD MY PATIENCE TESTED I AM NEGATIVE

29 - THE SARCASM IS STRONG WHITH THIS ONE

30 - BOOKS & COFFEE & DOGS & BEDROOM

31 - I LIKE DR PEPPER AND MAYBE 3 PEOPLE

32 - NOT TODAY SATAN

33 - I AM ACTUALLY A REALLY NICE PERSON. YOU JUST ANNOY ME.

34 - I AM IN GOOD SHAPE THAT SHAPE IS ROUND

35 - I AM NOT BOSSY I JUST KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD BE DOING