It was because I was late.

If I hadn't been late none of

it would have happened, I don't think. I came running into class,
but it was all over.
"Nice to see you, Joey," Mr. Gold said sarcastically.
"We're just forming two man groups for this class. You'll study the
texts and present your findings next week."
I scanned the crowd hoping to see one of my friends -- or
even someone halfway decent -- I could pair up with, but they'd
already found someone else. Even the ditsy girls were taken.
"Anyone left for Joey?" Mr. Gold asked. "Come on, people!
We're an even number in this class..."
"Um, I don't have a partner.." Jimmy Reitinger raised his
hand and looked slightly embarrassed.
I looked around, desperately hoping for a miracle of some
sort. I couldn't be paired up with Jimmy. The thought was
unbearable.
"Excellent," Mr. Gold said. "You're together. Jimmy has
the texts. Now get going!"
Oh well, it was only for one class. Everybody had seen
how it happened. No one could say I'd picked him on purpose.
Of course I'd be late that morning and get stuck with the
one kid no one wanted to be friends with. Cursed be my old stupid
alarm clock!
There were plenty of rumors about Jimmy Reitinger. No one
knew anything for sure, but in high school who needs to? A rumor
might as well be fact for all the damage it can do. According to
rumor, Jimmy was gay. Several people claimed to have noticed him
checking them out, and on the table tennis team they said he'd been
peeking in the showers. He stopped playing table tennis shortly
after that.
There was something about him. He just seemed... gay, somehow. I couldn't tell if it
was because I knew he was -- or
thought I knew -- or if it was because he acted or looked gay. But
one thing was sure: For the sake of reputation, everybody had to stay
away from Jimmy.
And here I was, stuck with him. Great. Just my luck.
Not that I blamed any of the others for not picking him as their
partner before I came. I wouldn't have either. In fact, he was
always left until last. I suppose in some way I felt bad for him,
but it always disappeared when he sneered at me or said something
mean, which he always did. I mean, God, what does he think? Being
sarcastic will make him popular?
"Hi Joey," he said when I sat down next to him. We were
in the big drama class room and there was plenty of room, which meant
we were far away from anyone else. Thank God for that at least. I
didn't want anyone to overhear, in case he said something queer.
"Hi," I replied. He handed me the texts. Ours were
excerpts from a Shakespeare play or something, and we were supposed
to figure out why the characters did what they did or something. I
signed up for drama because I thought it'd be funny, and easy, to put
on old clothes and goof off a little on stage. I never expected work
like this and I didn't like it.
"How do we do this?" I asked, hoping to get it over with.
Maybe if we were quick I could get back to my friends before the end
of class.
"I don't know," he said, not looking at me.
Sometimes he'd be subdued rather than sarcastic. I
realized today was such a day. Great. Now I'd have to do all the
work.
"This is stupid," I mumbled, disgusted with the whole
situation. I threw down the papers.
His eyes settled on me. They were dark blue. I felt
uncomfortable under his scrutiny.
"Let's just read it and get on with it." I picked up the
pages and shuffled them a little.
"We were supposed to read them at home for today," he
pointed out. "They're in the book."
"Whatever," I grumbled. "You do it then."
He didn't reply. While I read the pages -- it took most of
the class -- he made little neat notes on his paper, notes of all the
clever things he'd thought of and didn't share with me. I knew I'd
have to do the same at home to be ready for the next class when we'd
present it.
"Alright, listen up!" Mr. Gold yelled at the end of class.
"I want you to write a paper on this. Yes, I know, but we have to
write some papers this year and we might as well get started. You'll
analyze the texts I gave you and write no less than five pages about
them for next week. No, Shirley, that's no excuse, you can write at
the library. Dan? No, you can't change texts..." Mr. Gold shook
his head and looked exhausted. Then he noticed me. "Yes, Joey?"
"Would it be possible to write individually?" I asked,
ignoring Jimmy's eyes on me.
Mr. Gold looked at me for a little while. I couldn't
quite read his expression. Finally he sighed and replied, "No, Joey,
you do it in pairs. You have to learn to work together. Drama's
about that too."
"Guess this is just your lucky day," Jimmy mumbled at me
while packing his bag. "How do you want to do this?"
"I don't," I hissed.
"Well neither do I, asshole!" He frowned. "My place or
the library?"
"The libr.." I hesitated. I didn't want to go to his
house with all his fairy stuff, but the library was very public. Did
I really want to be seen with him there? "Your house, I guess," I
sighed.
"Two o'clock tomorrow." He pushed past me. "Read the
stuff first."
"Just great," I mumbled to myself. I wanted to kick the
door when I left the room.
The smirks on my friends' faces when I emerged killed any
hope I'd had that they wouldn't make a big deal out of it.
"The two of you going steady yet?" Dusty grinned.

I'd actually been to his house once before, maybe 10 years

earlier. We knew each other from kindergarten, he'd had his birthday
and I'd been invited. I remembered clearly for some reason. Must
have been a good party.
The house looked the same. Same lawn, same brick walls,
same trees. Even his mother looked the same when she opened the
door, or so it seemed to me.
The words she greeted me with were the same too.
"Hi, honey! Come on in!" She smiled wide.
"Thank you," I mumbled.
"I'll just get Jimmy for you. Jimmy! Your friend is
here!"
I wanted to say, I'm not his friend, but I didn't.
Jimmy appeared at the top of the stairs. He looked down
at me expressionless.
"Come on up," he finally said softly.
In his house he seemed to be the only thing that had
changed. After the garden, the house, his mother and everything else
I'd half expected to see a small black haired kid with big blue eyes
grinning at me from the top of the stairs, saying "come and play with
me."
Shaking my head I took off my shoes and ascended the
stairs. I didn't remember where his room was but I looked through
the only open door, and there is was.
It was nice, actually. No pink fur handcuffs or anything,
just books and stuff, and it was cleaner than my room.
"I'll bring you some soda!" his mother yelled from
downstairs.
"She's ecstatic," he said apologetically. "I don't have
many friends over..." He stopped. I think he regretted saying it.
"Let's get this over with," I sighed. "I don't get it. I
read it but it's so boring."
"You're smart, Joey. If you don't get it it's because you
don't want to," he said very sensibly. He sounded like my father.
It ticked me off.
I sat down in a chair and pulled out my notes. They were
few. I knew he'd have many more.
His mother knocked on the door and brought us a tray with
cokes and sandwiches. "In case you get hungry, honey," she smiled at
me.
 I mustered up a smile in return.
Jimmy turned on his computer. "I'll type. I'll be doing
the work anyway. You can tell me what you have as we go along."
I shrugged. Fine by me.
We'd been working for maybe an hour when his mother
knocked again. "You alright, dears? Anything you want?"
"No, we're fine!" Jimmy closed his eyes. "Just leave us
alone."
"But honey, I just thought that you and your friend..."
"He's not my friend!" Jimmy yelled. Then he controlled
himself. "I told you. He's just here because he has to. Now go and
leave us alone."
She blinked and looked down. Then she closed the door
carefully.
Jimmy stared at the screen. He wouldn't look at me.
I suddenly felt bad, really bad. I felt like the biggest
jerk in the world.
Then Jimmy started typing again. "What're you looking
at?" He glared at me.
"Nothing," I mumbled.
Maybe he was the only thing in the house that had changed,
but he'd changed a lot. I couldn't see the grinning kid no matter
how hard I looked. It was a little depressing.
When the thing was done a few hours later, and the old
printer was spitting out paper slowly, he looked at me. "Why don't
you like me?" he asked.
I looked down. I didn't know what to say.
"Don't answer," he mumbled. "I know. You all think I'm
gay."
"Well aren't you?" I asked.
His head whipped around. His dark blue eyes were angry.
"None of your business!"
"Sorry," I muttered. I packed my bag and left him, not
looking back.
I nodded to his mother when I passed the kitchen where she
was cooking dinner. She smiled at me, but it wasn't the same kind of
smile as before. I almost ran out the door.
"Jeeesus!" I gasped when I was on my bike. "I NEVER want
to go back there again!"

I thought that was it, that I'd finally made it through my

ordeal, but I hadn't reckoned with Mr. Gold. He was so pleased with
the reports that he asked us to write a new one, this time on the
background of the play. For Jimmy and I that meant researching
Shakespeare.
"Miss him too much?" my friends grinned when I bitched
about it.
 I went to the library and read what I could. I found
books and I surfed the net to get stuff about the boring old guy.
I'd insisted that we do separate research even though it meant more
work for me. It would be bad enough to have to write the paper with
him, going back to that house.
His mother was a little less cheerful this time, but the
smile was there. "Hi honey, come in. I'll just get Jimmy for you."
He'd already started the computer when I walked in.
"Aren't you afraid I'll infect you with gayness?" he asked
dryly when I sat down.
"Shut up. Let's get it over with."
He eyed me. "You know, that asshole routine gets old
really quick."
"Whatever."
"Whatever."
He found his notes and typed the first sentences, but I
could sense he was preoccupied. Finally he turned to me.
"What are you afraid of?" he asked.
"What do you mean?"
He shrugged. His eyes were unyielding.
There was a silence.
"Are you afraid I'll jump you? Or are you just afraid
people will think I've jumped you?"
I rolled my eyes. "Can we just write this?"
He hesitated. "No!" he said. "I want to know."
"I just don't like you, OK? I mean, you can't like
everybody." I sighed.
He frowned and turned back to the computer. "Fine."
For a few minutes he typed away while we condensed our
knowledge of Shakespeare. Then he stopped again.
"You don't have to worry," he mumbled. "She not coming
with sandwiches today. I told her not to."
"Oh. OK." I was a little confused. Why was he telling
me this?
"It's just that I could tell you were a little embarrassed
the last time," he continued.
"OK. Fine."
"And I told her we're not friends."
"Good." I was staring at my notes.
"I didn't tell her you hate me." He looked away from the
screen and out the window. It was raining. "She doesn't know that
they all hate me. She just thinks I'm shy."
OK, this was awkward. I didn't want to hear this.
"I think she was planning on ambushing you or something to
try to get you to come back. I made sure she won't."
I said nothing. God, get me out of here!
He cleared his throat. "I dreamt about you, Joey."
"Huh?" Now this I really didn't want to hear!
 "You were naked. You were beautiful." He turned to look
at me. "I think you're very attractive."
I didn't even much think about the fact that he was
admitting he was gay. I just felt utter panic. I was trapped here
with him, and I wanted to get away.
He must have seen it in my eyes.
"Sorry," he whispered. "I shouldn't have said."
I opened my mouth, but nothing would come out. In the end
I managed to croak, "I don't know what to say."
He was looking at the screen again. "In the dream you
weren't an asshole. You--you kissed me." He blushed.
I felt violated somehow. "Jimmy, it was a dream. I'm not
like that. I don't want to hear about it. Can we just write the
paper?"
He nodded. His lip quivered. Slowly his fingers typed a
few words. "Will you tell anyone?" he asked.
"No," I said. Like I wanted anyone to know! "But you
shouldn't be telling people. The next guy might just spread it all
around."
He turned his head, and his eyes caught mine. They looked
haunted. I wanted to scream.
"Why?" he whispered. "What does it matter? It's all too
late now anyway."
"Too late? What do you mean?" I had no idea what he was
saying.
"I think you're sexy. I think a lot of guys are sexy. I
can't help it. I can't change it. And I don't know why it's so
terrible."
"Well..." I began, but I realized I had nothing to say.
"Well, I'm glad you didn't say I'm sick or something," he
said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He picked up his notes,
trying to get back into the writing.
It didn't work. He was too worked up, and so was I.
"Listen, I know you don't want to be here. I know you
don't want to look at me. Why don't you go home? I'll write the
paper and say we did it together."
I hesitated. It was extremely tempting.
"I'll make sure it's not a queer paper," he assured me,
scornfully.
I frowned. I wanted to leave, but I knew my conscience
wouldn't let me. I had to do my own work.
"Can we just do this, for God's sake?" I sighed.
He lifted his eyebrows. His eyes were a little shiny, but
thankfully he wasn't crying.
We did manage to get some more work done, but it wasn't
very good. He was far away, but I didn't want to go into it again.
When we were about half way he sniffed and looked at me
sideways. "You shouldn't have worn that t-shirt, Joey," he said.
 "Why?" I asked, bewildered. It was a plain green t-shirt.
"It's very... tight. You look good in it. I might get
excited."
"Jesus!" I gasped.
"Your arms are sexy too."
"Why can't you shut up? Do you WANT me to freak out?" I
yelled.
"Maybe I do!" he yelled back. Tears now spilled over and
ran down his cheeks. I didn't understand him at all.
"Why?" I asked.
"Maybe I'm just fine with your disgust!" We'd both jumped
out of our chairs. He pushed me a little.
"I don't understand," I complained, and I truly didn't.
"I hate you!" he yelled. "I fucking hate you!" He pushed
me again.
Then he seemed to collapse totally. He fell back into his
chair, hiding his face in his hands.
"Jimmy, man, what can I.. do you want me to get your mom?"
"Leave me alone."
"What?"
He stood up, tears streaming his face. "Leave me the fuck
alone!!" he screamed. "Get out!"
"Alright," I said, suddenly frightened.
"GET OUT!" He grabbed a book about Shakespeare and threw
it at me.
I ran out the door. I didn't see his mother, but I could
tell she was around because some pots were boiling on the stove. I
was sure she'd heard his yells.

I didn't tell anyone about Jimmy's breakdown. I tried not

to think about it. Whenever I had drama and there was a risk I'd be
asked to do anything with him I wore a loose shirt.
He avoided me. He never looked at me or spoke to me. I
think he was ashamed.
"Joey," Mr. Gold said to me one day in class when we were
looking at possible plays to stage. "I'm surprised that your last
report was so bad. I mean the first you wrote was so good, but this
is just.. rubbish." He held up the paper.
I hadn't even read it. Well, I'd read half of it when we
wrote it. The rest I'd left to Jimmy. There was no way I'd go back
to his house to finish it after what happened.
"I--I guess you're right," I replied, trying to sound
like I was being honest. "It wasn't the best we've done."
"But why?"
I hesitated. "Uh... I guess we don't work too well
together or something."
Mr. Gold sighed and took me by the arm. "Come with me,
Joey." He pulled into a corner where we could talk in private. We
sat down. "Listen, I know Jimmy isn't the easiest person to work
with. I know that. He seems so... miserable somehow. But I was
relieved that you ended up with him."
I frowned.
"I know you, Joey," he continued. "You're a good kid.
Sorry, young man. I was sure you'd be able to make things work.
Everybody likes you after all. If you can't work with him, who can?"
"Maybe no one," I said bitterly, instantly regretting it.
"I know it's different when you're in high school," he
said wearily. "Things just look different. But when I look at Jimmy
I see an unhappy kid, and I feel sorry for him. You have plenty of
friends, and things are easy for you. You're smart, you're good-
looking... Do you think you might possibly try a little harder to get
along with Jimmy, at least in my class? I'd really like him to do
well here."
I didn't like what he was saying, but I liked the way he
said it. He spoke to me like I was an intelligent human being, like
I was, well, and adult. Not many teachers did that. Besides, I
understood what he meant.
"I guess so," I reluctantly agreed.
"Thank you." He patted my shoulder.
"But I'm not sure he will want to," I hurriedly said,
suddenly realizing there could be a way out of this.
"Oh, I think he will," Mr. Gold smiled. "I'm almost
positive. And why don't you start by rewriting this piece of
rubbish? I'll put this to good use at the bottom of my birdcage."

And so it happened that I was at his house for the third

time. I just didn't seem to be able to get away. Fate I guess. I
resented it.
"I'm sorry I didn't do better," Jimmy said. "I should
have written a better report for us but I was just a little upset.."
"I know, forget it. Let's ace it this time. I'm fed up
with Shakespeare!"
"I know!" he agreed. "Boring!"
"But promise you won't throw books at me," I joked.
He blushed. "Sorry," he mumbled almost inaudibly.
"Forget it. And no more about dreams, OK? Unless you
want to hear mine in return, and they involve Anne Bingham's tits!" I
continued, surprising myself.
"Eww!" he laughed. "No thanks!" The smile completely
transformed his appearance. Suddenly I saw the grinning kid I'd
played with in kindergarten all those years ago. And he was pretty.
"You sure? They're quite big and in the dream, when I
squeezed them they-"
 "EWW! Gross, man, stop!" He laughed again. I found
myself liking the sound of his laughter.
"Alright. No more about Anne Bingham." I smiled at him.
"Nora Breaux has the best ass, and I want to just-"
"DUDE! Joey!" he grinned. He knew I was trying to get
him to laugh, and he let me. For a moment it felt almost as if we
were friends. It was a strange feeling.
"What?" I asked innocently.
"How can I work when I'm like this?" he asked, covering
his ears with is hands. "Want me to type with my tongue?"
I grinned. "Alright, point taken. I won't say stuff
that'll gross you out. Now start typing."
He did, looking at me and grinning a little from time to
time to see if I was still smiling. Must have been hard for him to
believe, as it was for me.
"Hm," I said, pretending to think. "What can I tell the
gay guy? Oh yeah! Dusty Williams has a horse dick!"
"Man!" Jimmy gasped, holding his mouth. His eyes opened
wide, and they were laughing. He was actually quite beautiful when
he was like this. "That's so... not what I'm interested in!"
"His ass then?" I grinned.
"No!" He grinned back. "You know... inner beauty."
"So you don't care what the guys in my PE class look like
at all?"
"No!" He shook his head. Then he blushed. "Maybe a
little."
"Who?"
He looked at me sideways, something that make him look
very mischievous. "Scott Jenkins," he blurted, then giggled.
"Hmm," I said, wriggling my eyebrows. "Good choice. Let
me think..." I tried to recall Scott as I saw him every week. I
hadn't really noticed, but I did remember enough to give Jimmy a few
details. "Well.. he's hairless except on his legs, and of course..
you know. He has a six-pack, quite nice. What else...?"
"He's so sexy," Jimmy mumbled, still blushing.
"Dream about him?"
"Oh yeah..." Jimmy turned his head my way and looked at me
speculatively. "You're so weird."
"Weird?"
"Yeah. You're different today. So, I don't know, not
assholey."
I sobered up a little. "Yeah, well..." I mumbled.
"Thanks." He smiled at me.
I smiled back.
Then we started writing. The whole thing had to be done
from scratch.
The atmosphere was very different from two weeks earlier.
There was no tension this time, and we could joke with each other. I
guess I still felt like a charity worker, doing my good deed because
I'd promised Mr. Gold. But I also found that he could actually be
quite funny.
When we were nearing the end he looked at me and smiled.
"Why don't you ask Anne Bingham out?" he asked. "I mean, if you like
her so much."
"I didn't say I liked her so much, I just said her tits-"
"Yeah, I remember!" He held up his hands. "I'm sure
she'd go out with you. She might even put out." He bit his lip. "I
know I would."
"What?" I asked, not sure if I heard correctly.
He looked scared. "Oh no... did I ruin everything?"
"No... I mean, no..." I shook my head. "Did you say that
you'd have sex with me?"
"Yeah." His voice was quite firm. "I'd love to. I mean,
if you were gay."
"Well I'm not." I put down my notes -- useless anyway.
"Why don't you find some nice guy?" I asked him, turning the table.
"Please," he snorted. "Me? Hardly. I'm--I'm not very
good looking and no one would want me anyway." He looked down.
"But aren't there places... you know... where gays can meet
and stuff?" I was sure I'd heard about that.
"Yeah, I guess. But I don't want some stranger touching
me. Do you understand?" He looked me in the eyes.
It was strange to me how sometimes he seemed so much
younger than me, and then at other times so much older, even though
we were the same age. I had never thought about how having sex with
a stranger might be unsatisfactory, but I realized I understood what
he meant.
"Yeah," I nodded.
"But if I found someone I was in love with..." His eyes
became dreamy, his smile wider. "I'd shag him silly."
I laughed.
"Oh Joey," he mumbled, smiling at me. "Why can't you be
gay? I could fall for you so easily."
I felt a little uncomfortable to be confronted with that
so openly, but for the first time I felt a little flattered too.
"You'll find someone," I said to him. "After all, it's a
big school. Has to be other gays. Besides, you're pretty when you
smile."
For some reason that made his smile a little strained.
Half an hour later the printer was churning out a much
better paper, and I could go. For the first time I didn't feel like
I never ever wanted to come back when I walked out the door.

It was some weeks before I spoke to Jimmy again. I'd

almost forgotten about our new improved relations, but I didn't feel
the old hostility when I ran into him at the library one day.
"Looking for books on Shakespeare?" I asked.
"Please!" he huffed. "Enough about that. I'm just happy
Goldie accepted our second attempt." He then dared to smile a little
at me, something he otherwise never did.
I smiled back. There was still an element of charity in
it, but I just didn't really dislike him any more. Which was weird
but good, I thought.
He looked round to check if anyone could hear him. Then
he smiled a strange smile and said, "You look so good in that shirt."
I blushed. Panicked I looked around, but no one was close
or even watching. "Man!" I hissed. "Don't do that!"
"It's true," he persisted. "It brings out your eyes.
And..." His eyes glided down my body. "Man..." he almost whined.
I couldn't hold back my laughter. "You have to get laid,
man!"
"I know, I'm so horny!" He smiled. It struck me again
how pretty he was when he did that.
He was still smiling when he moved past me and out the
door.

After that it became almost like a little game between us.

He'd see me in school and whisper things to me to embarrass me, and
I'd try hard not to blush. I became quite good at not blushing.
One day he'd tried three times and he couldn't get to me.
I didn't blush no matter what he said, and it meant I was winning.
But he refused to give in, and when I was in the cafeteria line with
my tray and he came close to me and whispered in my ear when no one
saw.
"I dreamt last night I had your dick up my ass as far as
it would go. First wet dream I've had in years."
Then he moved on, as expressionless as always.
I choked, gasped, coughed and then lost my tray, spilling
food and drink all over myself and the floor. I was drenched in it,
and I couldn't stop laughing. I have to admit, he got me good.
People looked at me like I was insane, but I still
couldn't stop laughing. Even when I had to wear my old tatty sports
t-shirt for my last two classes I couldn't stop grinning.
I saw him at the bicycle shed after school. He was
grinning at me, and I didn't even care who might see it.
"Got you!" he mumbled.
"Hm," I conceded.
"And it was true," he continued, looking into my eyes. "I
was a mess."
"You're so weird," I smiled.
"But I won!" he grinned in triumph.
"Sure," I smiled, "but try to ever top that, babe!"
 It took a moment to sink in. "Fuck!" he gasped.
"You'll never get me again," I laughed.
"Fuck!"

I guess I slowly realized he had something of a crush on

me. I suppose you think I'm slow for realizing it so late, but it
just didn't seem possible to me. I can't explain it, I just know it
was probably a good think I didn't see it sooner, because I didn't
know him then and might have freaked. Now I just shrugged it off.
In a way I could understand how it might happen. As little as it
was, what he had with me was probably the closest to a friendship
he'd had in years.
I found myself liking him. I still didn't want anyone to
know that, but I realized he wasn't a bad person. On the contrary.
When he inched closer to me Friday morning as I was
parking my bike I could tell he was up to something. It moved me to
see how he made sure no one saw him talking to me, for my sake.
"Hi," he mumbled. I could tell he was nervous.
"Hi," I replied, locking my bike.
"Um..."
"Yeah?" I smiled a little. We had to get going to make
it before the bell rang.
"I was just..." He bit his lips.
"Spill it, Jimmy."
"Um... never mind. It's stupid, I just..."
"Jimmy! Ugh!" I shook my hands at the heaven in mock
outrage. "I hate it when people do that."
He giggled nervously. "Well, OK. I just wanted to ask
you if maybe you wanted to come over to my house tonight and watch a
movie or something. I mean..." He stuttered to a standstill.
When I didn't answer he looked at his feet. "Of course
not. Sorry," he said.
"I don't know..." I said. "Maybe."
He looked up sharply. "Really?"
I considered. I thought he wouldn't tell anyone. I could
do it. After all, it might even be fun. "Sure," I nodded. "Why
not."
"Great!" He smiled. "Great. Great."
"What time?"
"Um... 8? OK?"
"OK." I grinned. He was so excited. It was almost a
little cute.

I approached his house without trepidation. I almost

looked forward to his mother's kind smile and all the other things
that used to scare me.
 He opened the door. "Hi," he grinned, his eyes sparkling.
"You made it."
"Of course." I stepped inside.
"I wasn't sure you'd come. My parents are out," he
explained while I removed my shoes. "They're not coming home
tonight, but they said it was OK that you came over." He grinned.
"Cool," I said. "What're we going to do?"
"Want to watch a movie? We don't have the new cool ones
but we do have some good old ones. I made some pizza we can eat. I
also have some snacks and stuff."
I followed him into their living room where the TV was.
"Man!" I gasped. "Are you having an army over?"
He laughed, a wonderful fresh laugh. "I went a little
overboard maybe."
On the table was pizza, potato chips, fruit, candy,
drinks... So much food he could have had 10 people over.
"Looks good though," I said. "Let's pick a movie and kick
back. What's good?"
He picked a thriller which turned out to be pretty good,
even though it was at least 10 years old. I'd have never picked it
myself. He'd seen it before though, so he knew it was good.
"That was great, man," I whispered. It had become dark,
and whispering seemed in order.
"Huh? Oh, yeah." He seemed a little taken aback. I
wondered of he'd even seen the movie.
"Do we have time for another before I go home?" I asked,
munching another piece of pizza.
"Yeah, why not? In fact, why don't you spend the night
and we can watch a couple more?" He sounded plaintive.
"Spend the night?" I laughed. "Dude, I'm not putting my
dick up your ass tonight. How was it? 'As far as it will go'?"
He grinned. "Too bad. But I meant, you can sleep in my
brother's room. He's in the army. You'll be safe. I won't be
there."
"This pizza is the best. You'll make a good wife some
day," I teased.
He rolled his eyes.
"I have to call my mom first," I said, giving in.
He smiled wide.

We watched another movie and started to get a little

tired, so before we pushed in the third one he ran upstairs to get
blankets for us both, and we lay down on separate couches to watch
the policemen try to catch the criminals.
He kicked a little under the blanket and then dropped his
pants and socks on the floor.
"Doing a strip for me?" I asked.
"Would you like that?" he asked, seriously.
 "No, man!" I grinned.
He laughed. "Do you want another coke?"
"No, I'm fine. Some water maybe?"
"Sure." He crawled out from under the blanket and ran to
the kitchen. He had quite shapely legs. He was wearing blue briefs.
Nice ass.
Why was I even noticing?
All the time I'd spent with him recently, had me thinking
in those terms maybe.
He came back and handed me the water.
"Why don't you undress too?" he asked. "Much nicer."
"You just want to peek, pervert," I said.
"Yeah." He grinned. "But listen, I have some sweat pants
you can borrow if you want. I'm your size, they'd fit. You could
change in the bathroom, I wouldn't see anything."
"No, it's OK." I shrugged. "I'm fine."
"K." He crawled back under the blanket on the other side
of the table and started the movie again. It was in the middle of
gunfire.
I unbuckled my pants and pushed them off me, then did the
same to my socks. Finally I took off me sweatshirt so I was left
with my boxers and my t-shirt on. I knew he was watching, but he
couldn't see anything. It all happened under the blanket.
It was mush more comfortable.
"Sure you don't want the pants?" he asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"You sure are." He grinned. "I'm a little... excited from
seeing you strip."
"Man," I sighed, rolling my eyes. "You can't possibly
have seen anything..."
"So?" he challenged. "It can still be sexy to see you
take 'em off."
"I guess," I said.
We watched the film in silence after that, but it was a
companionable silence.
When he'd started rewinding it he looked at me and said,
"Thanks, Joey. This is the most fun I've ever had."
"Whatever, dude," I grinned.
"No, I mean it."
I looked him in the eyes, those dark blue eyes. "I had
fun too. You're cool."
He was beaming. Radiant. I never saw him more beautiful.
He was stunning.
"Who says the night is over?" I asked, yawning. "We can
watch another."
"Yeah," he nodded.
We grinned at each other. "Nah," we said in unison.
"I'm beat," I yawned. "Let's clear this up." I indicated
the table with all the leftover food and glasses.
"Leave it." Jimmy waved his hand dismissively. "I'll do
it tomorrow."
I gathered up my clothes and the blanket and stood up. I
realized he'd see me in my boxers now, but what was he going to do?
Rape me?
"I'll show you where Benny's room is. I'll get you a
tooth brush too," he offered.
"Thanks, my teeth are kind of furry."
He laughed. It sounded good.
"After you," he said when we reached stairs.
"You just want to ogle my ass," I grumbled, but I did go
first. I just didn't really see what the harm was anymore. I wasn't
exactly naked or anything.
I heard him panting a little. "You alright?" I grinned.
"Maaan," he moaned. "Your legs are so sexy and your ass...
Man."
"Don't injure yourself back there," I chuckled. "Alright,
show's over." We'd reached the end of the stairs. "Which way?"
"Follow me," he said and went left. He tried to hide it,
but under his bunched up clothes he was hard and I saw it. It made
me feel good in a way. A little weird, but good. Like... sexy. Like
I was worth looking at.
The room was Spartan and clean. Evidently Jimmy's brother
had packed most of his stuff. The bed was there though, and I longed
for it. I was so tired by then I could hardly stand.
He found me a toothbrush and we brushed together. I could
tell he liked it, but I knew it was the company more than anything he
liked. He wasn't used to it.
I rinsed my mouth and stood up, stretching.
"I'm going to collapse, man. See you tomorrow?"
"Sure. I'll wake you at 11 if you're still sleeping, OK?"
"Thanks." I turned around to leave when he grabbed my
wrist.
"Joey... thanks. Thanks so much, man."
"No, thank you. It's been fun tonight. We'll do it
again."
He nodded. "I want to hug you, but don't worry, I won't.
I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
"Shut up." I grinned in a tired way and opened my arms.
I surprised myself with that, but it seemed appropriate. We were
friends now after all. You can hug your friends if they want you to.
He wanted me to. He clung to me. I thought maybe he'd
start crying, but he controlled it. But he was reluctant to let go.
He actually smelled kind of good. Shampoo, soap of
course, and other things. It was pleasant somehow.
He'd placed his head on my shoulder, but finally he raised
it and looked me in the eyes. We were the same height precisely.
His blue eyes glistened with unshed tears.
"You have no idea how much I needed that," he whispered
huskily.
I tightened my arms round his back. "I think I do," I
whispered. My eyes were droopy and my voice hoarse. I was tired,
but it was a good tired.
"You're so sexy when you're tired," he smiled. I could
feel his breath on my face, he was so close.
"I'm always sexy," I joked.
"I know," he said matter-of-factly. His eyes were dark,
dark and deep.
Suddenly I found myself unable to let go. There was
something indescribably nice about having his body in my arms. I
could feel his firm back, his warmth. He was so alive and so close.
I also felt his thighs against mine, and in that region something
else which was also very much alive. I grinned.
He blushed and looked down. Seeing him blush so close up
was fun, and nice.
"Sorry," he mumbled. "I hoped you wouldn't notice."
"How could I not? You're gutting me with that thing!"
"I really really like you." He was very serious now. "I
know you don't like me in the same way, and I can live with that.
But if you..." He bit his lip. "If you decide you want to
experiment, or... just get off or fool around or something, could I...
I mean would you consider letting me.."
"It's a promise," I nodded. "If I ever want to experiment
I'll do it with you. No one else."
He smiled.
"I don't see that happening though," I said with some
regret.
He nodded, biting his lip. "Still, you promised."
"I did," I said. Then I leaned in a kissed him quickly on
the lips. "Now it's sealed."
He whimpered a little. "Oh God. I'll cum."
I pulled back a little. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't tease you
like that."
I realized we'd been in each other's arms for five minutes
or more. That was definitely not normal! I started to break the
embrace, and he didn't fight it.
He was hard, and he couldn't hide it. But why should he,
really? He hung his arms at his sides and let me look. He did blush
though.
"I'm gay. I get close to a sexy guy, it'll happen," he
mumbled defiantly.
He looked quite impressive in the small briefs. I smiled.
"Of course it will. It's OK. Goodnight."
"Night."
We went to our rooms and he turned out the light in the
hallway. It was almost 3 am and I barely had time to get to the bed
before I was asleep.
The last thing on my mind was what I'd said to him. That
if I wanted to fool around with a guy it'd be him. I'd also said I
didn't think it would happen.
But I couldn't deny that my dick had swelled a little when
I held him.
Sleep saved me from having to wonder why.

I was embarrassed when I woke up. I'd have never done or

said those things if I hadn't been groggy with fatigue. I knew it.
I got out of bed and went into the hallway. I heard the
TV, so I walked down the stairs and peeked round the corner. Jimmy
was watching the news with his feet up and a bowl of cereal in his
lap.
When he spotted me he grinned. "Hey sleepyhead. It's
10.30. There's cereal in the kitchen."
I zombied into the kitchen and got myself some, with extra
milk. Then I zombied back into the living room. Sinking down I put
up my feet and groaned, not even caring that he was looking at my
legs.
"Not a morning person, are you, Joey?" he grinned.
"Hate morning persons."
"I'm offended. I always get out of bed and two seconds
later I'm all awake." He smiled.
"How nice for you," I growled.
"Aw, Joey, come on. If it's any consolation you're sexy
even like this."
"Oh. Yeah. We need to talk." I gulped down some food,
knowing it would help me wake up. "I'm not sure, I may have been
leading you on or something..."
"No, Joey, I understand completely," he interrupted. "I
know it was a one time thing. You don't want to do it again, you
just wanted to try it. It's cool."
I froze. What had happened? What was he talking about?
"When I came to your room I thought you wouldn't want to,
but I'm glad you did. I've never felt so good!"
I blanched. Had he come to my room? I didn't even
remember!
Then I saw the grin he was trying hard to suppress.
"You're joking!" I yelled. "You damned little asshole!"
He convulsed in giggles. "You should have seen your
face!"
"Shit!" I gasped, unable to hold back a grin. "You're
dead!"
"Haha!! You thought we'd... haha! I should be so lucky!"
 He was cute when he was laughing. I didn't mind saying
so, in my mind.
"Har har." I frowned, but I couldn't keep a straight
face. He'd had me. I knew it.
He kept giggling at me. I didn't mind, he'd earned it.
But in the end I poked his leg with my toe. "Stop it," I whined.
That only made him laugh more. I gave up.
Finally he'd laughed himself out. He was glowing. It was
almost hard to look at something so beautiful.
"Oh God..." he sniffled. "I wish. I wish."
"Yeah, you wish," I huffed, poking him again. He poked
back, and soon we were struggling with our feet, grinning at each
other.
"I wish you didn't have to go home," he mumbled.
"Me too," I agreed. "Maybe we could do another film. I
don't have to be home for some time yet. But first I really need a
shower. I stink."
"God I'd like to see that," he grinned.
I rolled my eyes.
"Water on your body... soap... mmm..."
"Stop it, horny boy!" I threw the newspaper at him.
"Sorry. If you ask me you don't need a shower. I bet you
smell great."
I held up my hands. "Stooop. I'll have to hose you down
soon!"
He giggled and got up. "I'll find you a towel."
"Thanks." I noticed he'd cleaned everything up from the
night before.
I got off the couch after finishing the cereal, then I
went back up the stairs. Jimmy had a towel for me when I reached the
bathroom, and I peeled off my t-shirt. He appreciated the
opportunity and stared at my body in a slightly hungry way.
"You're such a tease!" he complained, but I grinned and
closed the door before turning the water on.

It was weird to see him again next Monday. At school he

was still someone I couldn't associate myself with too much. I had
never spoken much to him -- unlike some people who sent snide comments
his way -- and I still didn't. I just didn't think I could afford it.
Yes, I admit I was afraid.
I could tell he was disappointed when I walked away from
him without smiling at him. But how could I not? My friends were
there.
He tried to call me a few times during the week, but I
didn't answer. I didn't know what I'd say to him. I was afraid he'd
ask me over again and I would have to think about whether I wanted
to.
Or perhaps, why I wanted to.
He called again on Thursday. The caller ID device told me
it was him, but I picked it up.
"Joey? Are you there?"
"Uh, yeah."
"I thought you weren't talking to me." There was some
bite in his voice.
"We're talking now, aren't we?"
"Yeah..." He hesitated. "Do you want to come over? My
parents are going to the beach house again this weekend. Go on. Say
no."
"Why would I say no? But what do your parents think about
you having friends over when they're not there?"
"Are you kidding? They're thrilled."
I should have known. They were probably relieved he had a
friend at all.
"What would we do?" I asked, already knowing I'd agree.
"I'd look at you and you'd look at a movie on the screen."
He laughed. "No, seriously, my dad says I can rent some movies with
his card. We'll get some you like. You can tell me which ones you
like and I can pick them up, or we could go together. Or we could do
something else if you want."
He was so eager I was practically laughing. "OK, Jimbo."
"Jimmy, not Jimbo. I hate that name!"
"Oooh!" I grinned. I had something on him now.
"Shit," he moaned. "You're going to call me that now..."
"Yep. Listen, I'll trust you to pick up something good
for us to watch, OK? I'll come over tomorrow after supper." I
didn't want to go with him to the video store because there was a
good chance anyone working there Friday night would be from our
school.
"No, can't you come and eat with me? I'll get some movies
and we can eat. Please?"
"Alright. Sounds good to me. Six o'clock? That should
give us time."
"OK, great. Great. See you tomorrow then."

His parents were just leaving when I arrived the next day.
"Hi honey, come on in," his mother smiled when she opened
the door. "I'll just get Jimmy for you. Jimmy!"
He appeared from the kitchen, smiling.
"He's been in the kitchen cooking all afternoon," his
mother said, teasing him mildly.
"Mom!" he protested, blushing. I grinned.
His dad was packing the car, but before they drove off he
came inside and I met him briefly. That's the first time I ever saw
him, but I liked him immediately. He was smiling and friendly, and
he looked faintly like Jimmy.
When they left Jimmy grinned at me. "Free to do...
anything you desire." He looked mock seductive, pursing his lips,
and I had to laugh.
"Whatever, Jimbo. Get in that kitchen and make sure you
don't burn my food."
He ran to the kitchen. Apparently he did have something
in there that could burn.
He'd made us lasagna, green salad and some bread he made
himself. It tasted really good. He could cook.
"Man, that pizza last week wasn't luck! You can cook!" I
said.
He smiled and looked pleased.
When we'd eaten we put in the movie and relaxed on our
couches. It was only the second time we'd done it, but it already
felt like we had a ritual. I was on the same couch as the week
before. I liked it.
He'd brought out snacks for the movie, but I'd eaten so
much lasagna I almost didn't eat any.
"I noticed you didn't like it when I tried talking to you
in school," he said when there was a quiet moment in the film.
This was a subject I'd hoped he wouldn't bring up. I
wasn't comfortable with it. "Well..." I mumbled.
"No, it's alright," he quickly added. "I understand. I
do."
I thought about my friends. I wondered if they'd be my
friends if they knew I was here with him. We'd talked about going to
see a movie or trying to get into a bar somewhere, but I'd told them
I had to go visit family with my parents, just so I could spend the
evening with Jimmy. I knew one thing: No one could ever know.
He'd said he understood. He probably did, all too well.
I suddenly felt like a jerk.
My silence must have seemed odd to him.
"What I mean is," he continued, "if you want to be just
weekend friends or something, well, I understand. I promise I won't
talk to you in school."
I couldn't look at him. His words hurt me more than if
he'd screamed recriminations at me, simply because they weren't meant
to hurt.
"I don't want that," I managed to say. "I want to be real
friends."
He smiled. He was so pretty when he did that. More than
pretty, beautiful. Like the light was turned on inside him or
something. Difficult to explain.
"But I'm afraid," I added. My voice sounded thick.
"I know," he whispered. His dark eyes looked into mine
and I felt funny. I realized I really cared about him. I'd moved
from deciding to be friends with him to being it. It was now a fact.
"I'm a coward I guess," I mumbled bitterly.
"I don't know," he protested. "Anyway, I won't embarrass
you. We don't have to talk all the time. As long as I know you're
my friend."
"I am." I turned to face him, still lying down. "I am."
"That makes me... feel really good. Really... funny."
"That's because you're a flaming queer and you have the
hots for me," I grinned, trying to lighten the mood.
His eyes opened wide. "What?! Asshole!"
I laughed, I couldn't stop, and I could tell he had to
fight to keep the grin off his own face.
"I guess maybe I do, a little," he mumbled. His eyes
never left mine.
"What?"
"Have the hots for you."
"Oh." I felt myself blush. "That's weird."
I jumped when the silence from the TV was broken by an
exploding car. I'd forgotten about the film altogether.
We watched for a few minutes, but what he'd said kept
ringing in my head. He was in... he liked me?
"Do you think maybe it's because we're friends?" I asked,
unable to let it go.
He knew what I meant right away. "You mean am I so
desperate for a friend that I'm confusing friendship with love?"
"Hmm," I mumbled. "I guess that's what I meant."
"I'm not a fool, you know," he hissed. "And I have had
friends, I do know how it is!"
"Sorry."
"It's just that... I do know what I feel! I'm sorry if you
don't like it, but my feelings are mine, and don't try to tell me
what they are!"
I stared at my can of coke. "Sorry," I mumbled again.
He sighed. "No, I'm sorry. I got all defensive there for
a second. I guess it might conceivably have something to do with the
fact that you're my first friend in three years, but it's not just
that. Is it so hard to believe I actually like you?"
"Stranger things have happened," I joked, but he didn't
laugh. "I guess not," I conceded.
"I'm stupid for telling you though," he mumbled, staring
at his hands. "I don't seem to be able to stop myself from telling
you things that'll push you away."
"Hey!" I sat up. "I like the fact that you're honest.
Most of my friends aren't." The last past was directed mostly at
myself.
"You want honesty?"
"Of course."
 He smiled and bit his lip. "When I invited you over I
thought... no, I hoped you might like me, and..." He stopped,
blushing.
"And?"
"And you'd go to bed with me." He seemed unable to look
at me. "How's that for honesty?"
I felt my eyes open wide. "This dinner was a seduction
dinner?"
"Yeah." He looked at me. "I mean, I know you don't think
of me that way," he hurriedly added, "but there's a part of me that
won't stop hoping."
"Well," I began, "I appreciate your honesty. I won't, uh,
go to bed with you, but if you'll settle for being my friend..."
"Oh yes, very much!"
"...that's fine by me. I want that too."
He breathed in deeply. "Whew," he smiled. "I surprised
myself by telling you that. I'm so glad you're still here. I
promise next time I cook you dinner there won't be an ulterior
motive."
"Of course there will." I grinned, happy that the
seriousness of the moment had passed.
"Yeah." He grinned a little nervously. "But no
pressure."
"Anyway, next time?" I teased. "Who says there'll be a
next time?"
His face fell, and I realized it was a bad joke,
considering.
"I'm kidding!" I said. "Of course there'll be a next
time."
He nodded, embarrassed.
"Anyway," I said, trying to change the subject. "Have you
had any luck with Scott Jenkins?"
"He's hot," Jimmy laughed. "But he'd kill me if I tried
anything. I mean... shit. He'd kill me."
"Probably." I nodded.
"I don't even dream about him anymore," he added, smiling
mischievously at me. "Someone else is starring every time now."
I refrained from asking who.

When he got us blankets from upstairs I began undressing

without thinking. I mean, he's seen me in just my boxers the weekend
before, so what was the big deal? But then I remembered what he'd
said about how I was teasing him, and I thought maybe in a way I was.
"Would it be better if I didn't undress with you?" I
asked, unsure. I'd taken off my pants and were peeling off my socks.
"No," he whispered, sounding a little out of breath.
I rolled my eyes. "Man! Put that thing away and think
with your other head for a moment!"
"Huh? What?" He swallowed. "Oh. OK. What do you
mean?"
I smiled. He was cute like that. "I mean, you said I was
a tease, didn't you?"
"You are."
"But I mean, maybe I should try not to be?"
"Oh." I could see he finally understood. "No, not for my
sake. I mean, maybe it's my other head talking..." He grinned. "But
I like it. Sure, it's a little frustrating, but it makes for
unbelievable jack off fantasies."
"Man!" I gasped. "That's so... weird! You mean you
actually... you know..."
"Jack off thinking about you?" He grinned, enjoying
seeing me squirm. "Yes, of course."
I shook my head and peeled off my other sock. "Will this
do then?" I asked and pulled off my t-shirt.
His eyes opened wide. "Wow," he mumbled, licking his
lips. "Yeah... man, you're so evil!"
I crawled under the blanket and pulled it up to my head.
"Show's over, buddy."
"Too bad." He was frozen, still with his pants around his
ankles. It was quite humorous.
I grinned.
He shook his head and came out of his daze. He extracted
his legs from his pants and folded his clothes neatly, then crawled
under his blue blanket. I could tell he was hard. A few weeks ago
that would have freaked me out, but now it seemed normal. What was
the big deal? It was natural after all.
"You have no idea how sexy you are," he smiled at me when
he was fully under the cover.
"Whatever, man. Keep those hands on top of the blanket!"
He laughed, a wonderful happy laugh. "Aw, come on! Your
fault I'm all geared up!"
I reached for a new coke. "It's my wit that makes me so
irresistible," I said, fluttering my eyelashes.
He laughed again. "You're so dumb!"
He sometimes let his leg out from under the blanket to
cool off, resting his foot on the floor. He had nice legs. I
mentally compared them to mine. I was maybe a little more muscular,
but his were just right in proportions.
"Can you spend the night?" he asked, yawning.
"Yeah," I said. I'd already checked with my mother.
"I don't suppose you want to sleep in my bed?" he asked.
"Tempting, but I have to say no, not unless you're
somewhere else."
"Nice!" he huffed. "You can get the attic. Do rats scare
you?"
 "Yes."
"In that case there aren't any. Or hardly. OK?"
"Shut up." I grinned at him.
"Maybe we can do something tomorrow? My parents are
working on the beach house. They won't be home until Sunday
afternoon."
"Sure," I said. I'd have to cancel going to the swimming
pool with Dusty and the others.
"Great!" He smiled.
"You look really good when you smile," I said.
"Blah." He rolled his eyes. "Liar."
"No, I mean it," I said forcefully, and I did.
"Well.. thanks. Doesn't matter though. No one ever wants
me."
"It'll happen." It sounded trite even to me, but what
could I say?
"Maybe." He looked doubtful. "I'm beat. I don't think
I'm up for another movie."
"It's only midnight!" I protested. "Did I say something
wrong? Are you mad at me?"
"No, of course not," he smiled. "I'm just tired. You can
watch another if you want."
"It's no fun alone." I shook my head. "You got two more
at the store, didn't you?"
"Tomorrow?"
I yawned spontaneously which made him laugh. "I guess
tomorrow's fine," I grinned. "Sleep sounds pretty good."
I gathered my things, deciding that if he wanted to look
at me he could. In fact, I had to stop thinking about it so much.
"You first," he grinned when we reached the stairs. "I've
been looking forward to this."
I rolled my eyes and did as he asked. I looked back and
saw him gawking at my backside.
Predictably, when we got to the bathroom he was hard in
his briefs. Nothing could have hidden that, and he didn't try. I
didn't mention it, but part of me thought it was kind of cool.
I'd brought my own tooth brush this time, so I didn't have
to use one of their spare new ones. We brushed and washed up, and
like the week before it had a very calming effect on me. There was
something incredibly nice about standing there with him, feeling his
warmth, seeing the smile in his eyes while he brushed. I'd never
felt that way with my friends before. Maybe it was all he'd said
about how he looked at me that made me more aware of him.
"This is where we hug," he grinned when he'd rinsed his
mouth. "That was nice."
I laughed and held up my hands. "Some other day, Jimbo."
"I figured." He smiled a little regretfully.
I picked up my pile of clothes and left the bathroom while
he turned off the light.
"I'm going to sleep so hard," I mumbled, feeling the long
week weigh on me.
"Yeah, I know what you mean," he nodded. "I'm just going
to do something first."
"What?" I asked.
"It's a secret." He winked at me. "I don't suppose you
could put those clothes down and let me get a good look?"
"What do you mean.. OH!" I wanted to smack my forehead.
"Horny, Jimbo?"
"Yes."
"Hm. Well alright." I grinned and dumped the clothes on
the floor in front of me. Then I began striking silly bodybuilder
poses.
He laughed his wonderful laugh and shook his head.
"Asshole," he gasped, but his eyes were tender.
I grinned and picked up my clothes. "Anytime," I
promised. "Goodnight."
"Night." He was still looking at me and smiling when I
closed the door.
I was asleep seconds after hitting the pillow.

The next morning I stumbled groggily down the stairs,

still not comfortable with the light. He was chipper.
"Good morning!" he grinned. "You look like you died."
"I feel like that too." I fell back on the couch.
"Even dead you look good," he continued, looking me over.
I realized I still wasn't wearing a shirt, having just crawled out of
bed, but I didn't care. I wasn't cold.
"In the morning the fewer words the better," I mumbled.
"I hate people who're in a good mood when nature intended us to be
grumpy."
He laughed. "I'll be quiet."
"Fat chance," I groaned.
"Well, your lips on mine would shut me up for sure," he
suggested, wriggling his eyebrows.
I covered my eyes with my hand. "I thought you took care
of that horniness last night!" I complained.
"I'm 17!" he grinned. "What do you expect?"
I groaned and got up to get myself some cereal.
"If you'd done it too last night maybe you wouldn't have a
boner now," he grinned.
I looked down, embarrassed. I hadn't noticed I was hard.
I wasn't.
His laughter filled my ears. I'd been had again.
"Funny," I growled, feeling my mouth curling into an
involuntary smile. "You're a regular comedian."
 "When you do get a boner be sure to call me," he teased.
I retreated to the kitchen.
"One hell of a phone bill I'd have," I mumbled to myself,
chuckling.

When I'd had something to eat I was almost awake. Jimmy

had opened the door to the back yard. It was fall but the summer was
still lingering in between the falling leaves and cold nights. It
was half past ten, and the sun was shining. I was drawn to the fresh
air and the smell of the lawn and went to the door.
Outside Jimmy was kicking a ball around barefoot on the
grass. He was only wearing his briefs and the t-shirt he'd slept in,
but in the sun it was warm enough.
He was beautiful. The sun was in his black hair, and his
movements were graceful. He looked like the kid I remembered, but he
was more now.
He was breathtaking. Some guy would be lucky to get him
some day.
He noticed me in the door and waved at me.
"Come play with me," he grinned. "Weather's nice."
I shrugged. Why not? Gingerly I stepped out on the
terrace and then the lawn. It was a little cold, not the air but the
ground.
We kicked the ball to each other for a while. It had very
little air in it -- I think there was a hole in it -- which was perfect
for our bare feet. It was fun. I enjoyed myself a lot.
We worked up quite a sweat, even though I was just in my
boxers. We were reluctant to stop because we both knew this was
probably the last time we'd be able to do something like that before
summer finally gave up and winter took hold.
Eventually Jimmy picked up the ball and walked up to me,
smiling wide.
"That was fun! You're beautiful."
"So are you." I smiled. "Even with green feet."
He put his arm round my shoulder. "Small price, Joey. I
don't know how to say this.. you need a shower."
"So do you." I grinned. "A shower, a toothbrush and I
might almost be human again."
"I like you like this," he said, leaning a little closer.
I smiled at him, opening the door while his arm was still
around me.
"You like the smell of stale old sweat?" I joked.
"No, you idiot!" He poked me in the stomach. "Just a
little sweaty but clean. Smells good." He leaned down and smelled
my shoulder. The hand he'd poked me with somehow never left my
stomach.
"Pervert," I grinned.
His eyes were only a few inches from mine. They were dark
blue and beautiful. They seemed to hold so many thoughts and
secrets. Now they were heavy with desire. He smiled.
I felt his hand stretch out across my stomach, covering as
much as it could. It felt good. I didn't feel threatened or
anything. I felt safe with him. I knew I could always stop him,
that he'd never do anything if I asked him not to.
His hand slid up my chest. It touched my nipples lightly
which sent a shock through my body. I never knew they were so
sensitive. I have a little hair on my chest between my nipples, just
a little. His fingers pushed through it, playing with it.
I could feel his erection on my hip and his breath on my
ear. I closed my eyes.
"Oh God," he breathed. His other arm was still around my
shoulders. I felt him move slightly against my hip.
His hand was on my stomach again. When he slowly slid
lower I tensed. He must have sensed it, because he stopped and
started playing with the hair on my chest again instead, then went
back to my nipples. It felt great.
He was grinding himself against my hip openly now, but I
didn't mind. I was OK with him doing this. He was a friend after
all.
Then he moved his hand from my chest to my shoulders,
pressing himself closer. He leaned his head in so his face was in my
hair, and he breathed in.
"Mmmm..." he moaned, a deep throaty moan that I loved
hearing. His grinding became harder, and his face never left my
hair. I didn't know what to do with my arms, so I held one of the
arms he had around me and leaned my head a little into his.
He was panting now, and I could tell he was close. I
smiled.
One of his hands released my shoulder and buried itself in
my hair just as he shuddered.
"Ahh!" he gasped. I could feel him bucking against me
before he let go of me and all but slipped to the ground. I caught
him and steadied him. There was a big wet splotch on his briefs and
he was flushed, but his eyes shone.
"Fun?" I teased. I could feel a little wetness on my
thigh, but it didn't matter at all.
"Oh God," he mumbled, embarrassed to look at me, but when
he saw I was smiling he grinned. "I've never felt anything like it.
Best ever."
"You were cute," I grinned.
He slugged my shoulder. "I'm not cute!" he protested.
"Kittens are cute. I'm... handsome."
"You're shameless and horny, that's what you are," I said
dryly. "Cutie," I added to rile him.
"Whatever." He shook his head. "I have to sit down."
"Something make you tired?" I shouted after him when he
went to the sofa. He gave me the finger.
"I'm going to shower," I informed him when I passed him.
"You can go after me when you're rested."
"K," he replied, still flushed.
I grinned to myself as a walked up the stairs. He was
pushing my limits, but I kind of enjoyed it.

He was gone when I returned, I assumed to his room. I

flicked on the TV and watched a little, but it was boring as always.
When he came down I could tell he was embarrassed, and he
was a little subdued.
"You OK?" I asked.
"Um... yeah." He blushed. "God, Joey, I'm so sorry. I
don't know what got into me."
"I don't mind. Like I said, you were cute."
"But I practically raped you!"
"Listen, dude, I didn't stop you. I could have." I
looked him over. "Let's face it, you're scrawny. I could take you
in a fight."
His eyes opened wide. "Scrawny! I am NOT scrawny!"
"Sure you're not." I nodded, grinning.
"I may not be as muscular as you," he conceded, "but
still..."
I got up and went to him. "The point is, I would have
stopped you if it made me uncomfortable. I don't know why it didn't,
but it didn't. OK?"
"I guess. I just feel a little bad."
"Don't. I'm fully capable of stopping you when I want. I
don't mind. I enjoyed it."
"You did?"
"It's not often I get to see cuteness so close up," I
grinned.
He grinned back. He had that tender look in his eyes that
I couldn't identify. "I enjoyed it too," he smiled.
"I realize that. I had the wet spot on my hip to prove
it."
He blushed a deep red. "Shit, I'm sorry."
"Jimmy! Forget it! I'm joking with you!" I groaned.
"Oh. Right." He smiled. "Biggest orgasm of my life. I
suppose some of it was bound to end up on you."
I smiled.
He sat down and unfolded the clean pair of socks he had in
his hands, then pulled them on.
"Let's go somewhere. How about the woods?"
None of my friends would ever go to the woods on a
Saturday. It was safe.
"Sure," I said.
 It was nice there, and I loved walking with him. He was
so alive, pointing out things for me to see, and we talked and had
fun.
When we returned mid afternoon I was sorry to have to
leave, but I'd told my mom I'd be home around then.
"Can't you come back?" he asked, his eyes begging. "I
mean, there's too much lasagna left for me to eat."
"I don't know, Jimmy."
He nodded. "K."
"I suppose I could call and ask," I said slowly. I
realized I wanted to spend the rest of the day with him if I possibly
could. I'd never felt that way with my other friends. When I'd been
with them a day I'd usually had more than enough.
"Great!" he smiled.
My mother was reluctant at first, but something in my
voice must have convinced her because she finally agreed, but I had
to come home first for a few hours, so they could see I was alive or
something.
Jimmy was so happy I'd be coming back he didn't even mind
that I had to leave. We set the time when I'd be returning and I
jumped on my bike. I was in a good mood.
"Aren't you cheerful today," my mother remarked when I
whistled past her, only stopping to kiss her cheek.
"Got some girl he's been seeing," my father guessed. He
lowered his paper and winked at me.
"I don't think Jimmy'd like being called a girl," I
laughed. "But I'll be sure to tell him."
"You'll sleep here tonight though, right?" my mother
asked.
"I don't know," I replied, frowning slightly. "We may
want to watch some movies."
"Bet you would," my father grinned. "Oh, let the boy.
You're only in high school once."
"Alright," my mother sighed. She was always too
protective of me.
"In less than a year he could get married," I heard my
father say when I left the kitchen. I knew he wanted to tease my
mother, and she knew it too.
"Don't even joke about that," she replied, banging his
head with a spoon. I could hear him laughing when I closed the door
to my room.
Jimmy had showered and changed when I returned at seven. His hair was still wet. I
wondered if it was for my benefit or his. "Come on in, sexy," he grinned. I punched
his shoulder and took off my anorak. It had turned colder outside. "I'm heating up the
lasagna," he informed me, and I heard him busying himself in the kitchen. I followed him.
"I can set the table," I suggested. "All done," he said. "Get drinks?" I asked,
smiling. "Got them." "Umm... salad?" I grinned. He held up a bowl with the
finished salad. "Will you marry me?" I asked, laughing. "Yes," he grinned and
handed me the salad. "You can put this on the table." "Ah! See, I can be useful!" In
triumph I went into the living room and placed the bowl on the table. He'd put candles on it
and lit them. "How romantic," I yelled into the kitchen. "Do you mind?" he asked. "Of
course not." I went back to the kitchen and leaned on the door frame. He was checking on
the food. "Five more minutes," he declared, then shut the oven. "I'm starving." My
mouth watered from the smell he'd released when he opened the oven. "So am I," he
smiled. "Well you've been a busy boy," I grinned, referring to the incident in the
garden earlier. He blushed deeply. "Well yeah." Then he looked at me and smiled.
"You up for the last two movies tonight?" I asked, changing the subject. "Sure. I
might not even fall asleep." "Fat chance." I grinned, nudging him with my elbow. He
grinned back, his dark blue eyes settling on mine. I noticed his shirt brought out his eyes.
Idly I wondered if it was on purpose, then decided it probably was and it didn't matter. The
oven dinged, breaking the silence and ruining the moment, and he turned from me and
opened it. "Go ahead, I'll bring it in," he told me. "OK." It tasted as good as I
remembered, or even better. "If your career as wife or male stripper falls through you can
open a lasagna business," I grinned. "Man, this is good." He smiled and speared a tomato
with his fork. I watched as he brought it to his mouth and chewed. His lips were red and full.
Embarrassed I busied myself with my own food. I don't know if he noticed me
watching. This time, after we'd cleared the table he went straight upstairs and got us
blankets. I smiled when I realized what he'd done. I liked the fact the we had something like
a routine now. He handed me the blanket and went to the kitchen to get us snacks and more
soda. I helped him carry some of it. "One more day of this and I'll get fat," I joked. "I
know a good way to burn a lot of calories," he grinned, lifting his eyebrows. I rolled my
eyes. "I give up," I laughed. He carefully unloaded the snacks on the table and put the
video in the machine. As it was beginning he sat down and took off his socks. He started
opening his jeans when I realized I was staring. "Do you mind?" he asked. "I didn't think
it mattered..." "No, go ahead. I don't mind at all," I assured him. "I was just thinking about
how strange this is... I mean, you and me..." "You mean how strange it is that you're
here with me," he mumbled a little bitterly. "Well... yeah," I admitted. "And how glad I am
that I'm here." He smiled despite himself and pushed his jeans all the way off. Then shucked
off his t-shirt and threw in on the floor. It was the first time I'd seen him without one. He
looked nice, slim and hairless. I saw him eyeing the t-shirt he'd thrown so carelessly
and grinned to myself. A few seconds' indecision was clear on his face, then he
leaned down and picked it up, folded it and put it back down on the jeans. Laughter burst out
of me. "Neat freak!" I bubbled, "I so knew you'd do that!" "Sue me," he grumbled, trying to
suppress a smile. I couldn't stop laughing, and soon he joined me. I pulled off both
my t-shirt and sweater at the same time, letting it dangle from my fingers. "This is how it's
done," I announced, letting it fall with as carefree a flick of my wrist as I could manage. I
continued to discard my clothes as haphazardly as I could all over the floor around my
couch. Jimmy was laughing at me, and also enjoying the show as I knew he would. It made
me feel good. "You're going to pick that up yourself," he grinned. "If I leave it long enough
your neat-freakiness will kick in and you'll do it for me," I predicted, feeling wonderfully
devious. "I might," he nodded. "Why did you stop?" "Huh? I'm in my boxers," I said,
realizing too late where he was going. "You had a good rhythm going there, why stop
now?" He smiled. "Forget it!" I chuckled. "They stay on. OK?" "I'll show you mine if you
show me yours," he offered. "No thanks!" I held up my hands. "Too bad," he grinned.
I crawled under the blanket, and so did he. The movie was starting, and it was pretty
good, so we watched it in virtual silence. I barely had time to reflect on how relaxed I now
was about showing him my body. When the movie was rewinding he smiled at me, and I
knew something was coming. "I'm cold," he complained. "Oh yeah?" I replied dryly.
"Put on your shirt." "I thought maybe you could come over here," he grinned. "My couch is
big enough." "I don't care how big your 'couch' is," I said, making him giggle. "I'm not going
to warm you up." "I bet you'd let me freeze and die in the Arctic!" he gasped theatrically.
"Yeah," I nodded. He glared at me, fully aware that I was kidding, but I managed
to keep a straight face. "After all," I continued, "I could eat you afterwards and survive until
the rescue team found me." "Man! That's sick!" he protested. "Although... there's something
appealing about you eating me..." He wriggled his eyebrows suggestively while I groaned
and hid my face in my hands. "You have to lay off the viagra," I said. "Don't
need it. Want to see?" He grabbed his blanket. "NO!" I yelled. He grinned and crawled
onto the floor to change tapes in the video. I could tell he wasn't hard. In those briefs, I would
have seen. "False advertising," I mumbled, and he grinned. He retrieved the tape from
the machine and turned round to grab the other cassette from the table. "Want to watch
this, or should we find an old one instead?" he asked, holding up the movie. His left hand
tickled the sole of my foot, uncovered by the blanket. "Ahhh!" I shrieked. It didn't sound
very manly. I jerked my foot away. "Sorry," he smirked. "Couldn't resist." "Better my
foot than... elsewhere, I suppose." I pressed my lips together disapprovingly. "You decide
about the movie." "K." He read some of the text. "Smuggling... rogue cop... fast paced
action..." "Sounds new and ground breaking," I joked. "Oh yeah, definitely avant
garde." He grinned. "The woman on the cassette has big tits." "Ooh, put in it. That one
definitely!" I gasped. "I figured," he groaned, but he was grinning. He turned away -- I pulled
my feet away from him, which he noticed with a chuckle -- and put in the movie. "I should
have rented some porn instead, and then when you were all hot maybe I could seduce you."
"Forget your half assed seduction plans, it ain't happening," I told him. "You say
that now," he said, his back still turned, "but after two hours of big large pendulous breasts..."
"Yeah, yeah," I grinned. "You're blocking my view." "Sorry," he huffed, standing up
and going to his couch. The movie sucked. Simple as that. The woman did have big
tits, but they were obviously fake and she couldn't act. Neither could any of the others, and
the plot was practically nonexistent. "Great choice there, buddy," Jimmy remarked from his
couch. "Hey!" I protested. "You got this crappy thing from the store." "The girl
recommended it. She said it was great." He frowned. "Who was she?" "Greta
Carlson I think. The brunette with the..." "...teeth, yeah that's Greta." I bit my lips angrily.
Was it possible that she'd recommended a movie she knew was bad because it was Jimmy
asking? I guess he was thinking the same thing. He was fidgeting with the blanket, the
happiness gone from his face. I felt so bad for him. It suddenly hit me how people treated
him. "Fuck," he sniffled, on the verge of tears. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have listened to her."
"Well it certainly isn't your fault!" I shouted, startling him. Anger was boiling inside me.
"That bitch!" "What are you going to do? Beat her up for me? My hero." The dripping
sarcasm that I hadn't heard from him for weeks was back in his voice. I sighed,
unclenching my fists. "No." "Let's find another movie," he said, shoving the blanket away.
He walked away from me to the video rack. He wouldn't look at me. I stood up too. I
could see the tension in his back, and I didn't know what to say. I put my hand on his
shoulder. "What are you in the mood for?" he asked, trying to keep his voice even. "We
have..." "Jimmy." I tried to turn him around to face me, but he resisted. I tried harder.
"What?" he demanded, glaring at me. There were tears in his eyes. "Yes, I'm crying.
Happy now?" "Of course not." I frowned. "I know you're just here out of pity. Don't you
think I know Goldie asked you to stay my partner? You didn't want to." The accusation hit
home, and I flinched. "You're wrong," I protested. "Well, not about everything. But I'm not
here because I feel sorry for you. I'm here because I want to." "Whatever," he mumbled
dismissively. "I just think you're a great guy and a good friend. Is that so bad?" I asked. "Do
you mean it?" he asked skeptically. "Don't lie to me." "Yes, I mean it," I answered. "Of
course I mean it. Would I come back two days in a row out of pity?" He considered it
for a moment, then shrugged. "Maybe not." "Matrix. I love it. Can we watch it?" I picked the
movie from the shelf. He nodded, still looking at me. I balanced the cassette on the edge of
the shelf and pulled him into a hug. He melted against me, throwing his arms around me.
He didn't cry, but I could tell he was close. There was nothing sexual in it for him this
time, he just needed to be held, and I could understand that. It was different for me. I
could feel one of his nipples against mine, and it was so weird but in a good way. My arms
had been around his waist, but now I slid them slowly up his smooth back until my hands
were on his shoulders. His skin felt good. I loved touching it. I squeezed him tightly,
then let go. He sniffed a little, then met my eyes, clearly embarrassed. "Thanks," he
mumbled. "No problem. But now the Matrix awaits," I said, picking the movie up again.
He smiled weakly, obviously still not his old self. He looked lost and lonely when he sat
back down on the couch. He didn't lie down. Instead he pulled his knees up under his chin
and hid himself under the blanket, the picture of misery. I wanted him to feel better, and I
wanted to feel better too. Making a decision I got up from my couch and walked to his.
"Room for one more?" I asked. "Sure," he mumbled. "I promise I won't touch you." I
sat down next to him and pulled my blanket around me like he'd done. It was a little chilly in
the dark room. "I'm sorry I killed the mood like that," he mumbled, turning his head to
look at me. "Just got overwhelmed for a minute." "It's OK," I reassured him. "I
understand." I tugged at his blanket. "I'm cold." His eyes opened wider. He was about to
say something, but then he thought better of it and opened his blanket to me. I edged closer
until our sides touched, then brought our blankets together. My left arm, the one that wasn't
holding the blanket in place, I brought round his shoulders. He leaned into me, watching the
screen. "Mmm..." he moaned. "You have no idea how good this feels." I smiled,
but he didn't see it. I felt his head with its soft black hair lie down against my shoulder. "Do
you mind?" he asked. "No, go ahead, lean on me if you like," I smiled. When he
did I leaned my own head on his. It was nice, I smelled his shampoo, but it soon became
uncomfortable to have my head in that angle and I raised it back up. His right hand was
on my thigh. I didn't notice at first, but then I began to worry. Had I gone too far? He didn't
move it though, and gradually I relaxed. "I would love to have a boyfriend," he
whispered. "This feels so right." I didn't reply. I didn't see what I could say. "You're
pretty great, Joey," he continued. "You're good to me. You're good for me, I guess."
"Goes both ways," I said, squeezing him. "In a way I wish I could be your boyfriend."
"But you can't," he concluded. "It's OK." His head turned to me, and he smiled. His nose
practically touched mine, and his eyes were warm. I smiled back. "I want so much to kiss
you," he whispered huskily. I smiled regretfully, and he shook his head. "No?" he asked.
I shook my head too. "No." "K." He turned to screen again. "Can't stop me from
wanting it, though." "Course not." For a moment I felt bad that I couldn't be what he most
wanted, but I couldn't change myself. He put his head back down on my shoulder, and
I wondered why it felt so good there. Perhaps I was starved of physical contact too, I
reasoned. After all, I had no girlfriend and I rarely touched my other friends. "In a way
I'm disappointed that you're like this," I mused. "Like what?" He turned to look at me.
"You know, nice and... romantic, I guess. I always thought if I ever met a gay guy he'd
only be interested in the size of my dick." He stared at me, a little offended. There was a
fire in his eyes, his lips pursed slightly and he frowned. He was spectacularly beautiful.
"Not all gay people are like that," he whispered. I could only look at his lips. They were
so full, so red. And so alive. I leaned in. I saw his eyes open wide a moment before my
lips touched his. He jerked in my arm but didn't break the kiss. I pulled back after a
second. It was only a brief contact, closed mouth, but he was smiling. "Thanks," he said.
"I like being kissed by you." I leaned in and did it again. This time he moved a little against
me and moaned. His hand that had been on my thigh now cupped my cheek. His tongue
came out first, but when I felt it on my lips I immediately opened them. I didn't even register
surprise at myself, I was too far away. It was almost as if I was drunk. His tongue slipped
into my mouth and met mine. It startled me, but I accepted it and caressed it with my own
tongue. He moaned, and it was so erotic for me to hear it. I wanted to hear him moan again.
I pushed my tongue into his mouth, gaining in confidence, and it tasted good. His
mouth was wide open and inviting, and he was moaning again. Great! I could feel him
thrashing under me, clearly very turned on. Without thinking I let go of the blanket and
reached for his dick. It was straining against the blue briefs, and when I squeezed it through
the cloth he gasped. "Nngh!" I smiled into the kiss and squeezed some more. Every
time I did he moaned, almost like a musical instrument that you manipulate. "Mmjoey,"
he gasped, "Oh, Joey." I shut him up by kissing him deeper, and both his hands were now on
my head. I felt him shudder, and suddenly his body was straining and his dick jerking under
my hand. "Mmmh!" The sound was obscured by my mouth but the meaning was clear. I
felt wetness rapidly spreading under my hand. Slowly he came down, still holding my
head and kissing me. In the end I pulled back because he seemed to want to kiss all night.
"Wow," he whispered. "I never thought..." "Good?" He nodded. His eyes
were tender and there was a small smile on his slightly puffy lips. He wouldn't stop looking
into my eyes. I was a little uncomfortable all of a sudden. "Wow," he repeated. I turned my
head to the screen to try to end the conversation, such as it was. "But you didn't... do you
want me...?" he began, reaching out for my boxers. "No, I'm fine," I quickly said, catching his
hand. "Let's watch the movie now." I was hard as a rock in my boxers and for some reason I
didn't want him to know. It freaked me out that I was hard. It freaked me out what I'd done,
because I knew full well I'd started it. Why? I wasn't gay. "Sure?" he asked, disappointed.
"Yes." I still looked at the screen. He sighed and gave in. He didn't put his head
back on my shoulder though, I don't know if he was afraid to. My arm was still round his
shoulders. He looked at the screen for a while. I could feel the heat from his body.
"Joey?" he then asked. "What?" I muttered. "Are we OK?" "Sure." "K." He
continued to stare at me. "Then why won't you look at me?" I met his eyes, anger
draining away. He looked hurt. I didn't want to hurt him. "I'm not gay," I whispered, feeling
tears threaten. What was happening to me? "Oh Joey," he sighed. "Relax. I'm not
saying you are. I leave that up to you." "What's that supposed to mean?" "I mean,
you figure it out, OK?" He bit his lip. "Do you think there may be a small part of you that's
bisexual?" "NO!" I yelled. "They say most people are," he continued. But I was smart
enough to know that he was saying what he thought I wanted to hear, not what he believed.
And I'm sure he could tell from the look on my face. "I think I'll go to bed," I said,
releasing him and standing up. My dick had gone down, for which I was grateful. "OK," he
mumbled, unhappily. "I'll clear up first." This time there was no jokes, no banter about
who walked up the stairs first. I trotted up, got ready for bed as soon as I could to avoid him
and made it into his brother's room. I was about to lie down when he knocked on the door.
I opened it hesitantly. He gave me my clothes that he'd picked up downstairs. I took
them silently. "Night," he said. "Night," I replied curtly before closing the door.
He'd sorted and folded my clothes for me. They were in a neat pile that he made for me. I
wanted to cry when I saw it, and I was beginning to have an idea why. And it terrified me.
Sleep did me good. The next morning I was almost able to convince myself nothing
had happened, and when I walked down the stairs and heard the TV it felt just like the other
two mornings. But it wasn't. I could tell in his eyes that he was afraid of saying the wrong
thing, and it was like a barrier between us. I had to get away. I had to think things over, and
I couldn't do that with him there. "I'll go on home," I mumbled. His face fell. "K." "My
mom's expecting me." That was a blatant lie and he knew it. "Will you call me?" he
pleaded. I didn't reply, I just started putting on my shoes. "Don't you want to be my
friend anymore?" I could tell his lip was quivering just from the sound of his voice. "I mean..."
"I have to think, Jimmy," I interrupted. He bit his lip and said nothing. I
got off the couch. Part of me wanted him to ask me to stay, but I knew I wouldn't even if he
did that. "Bye," I said. There was no reply as I walked out the door, gently shut it and
unlocked my bike. It was cold outside. My breath condensed in front of me. Before I
got on the bike I looked back at the house. I wondered if I'd ever go inside it again.
Dusty called and wanted me to go with them down town and hang out. My first reaction was
to say no, but then I thought maybe I needed a dose of them. I said I'd meet them at the
mall. With Dusty and the others nothing had changed. It was still the three universal topics,
boobs, cars and sports, and beer too actually. I was a little bored with it. Of course I was
being unfair to them and I knew it. I mean, I could hardly expect them to talk about other
things on a Sunday walking the streets. We always talked about the same things in
situations like this. I just wished I could relax and have fun with them, like I'd had with Jimmy.
Not for the first time I wished desperately that Jimmy could be straight and 'cool'.
That way I could be friends with him and have fun, and there wouldn't be so much
weirdness. It was typical: My old friends were straight and safe, and loyal, but not as
interesting or challenging as Jimmy. Jimmy was fun and smart, and I was never bored
around him, but he was an outcast and gay. "What's with you?" Dusty asked, nudging my
arm. "You've never shut up this long before." "Sure I have," I retorted. "I often fall
asleep around you." "Fuck you," he grinned. "Boring family party?" "Huh? Oh yeah." I
remembered the lie I told him so I could go to Jimmy's. "The worst." "My family parties
are fun. All my cousins want to fuck me," Alan boasted. "They allow that in the
institution?" I asked. He laughed. "No. Besides, they're like 12 and butt ugly." "Much like
you then?" I grinned. "Hey! I'm not 12!" He pushed me in the back playfully. "Whoa,
look at the tits on that one!" Rick whispered so loud I'm sure she could hear. She huffed and
turned the other way. "Wouldn't mind playing with them a little," Dusty grinned. "What
would she do in the mean time?" Alan asked. "It's not like you have much between your legs
she could play with!" "Yeah, she'd get bored real soon!" Rick added. "Fuck you guys,"
Dusty grinned. "I'd keep her occupied." I rolled my eyes and chewed my gum. I had no
attraction whatsoever to the girl. She wore too much make-up and smelled like sugary
perfume, and her breasts jiggled unappealingly under her blouse. I didn't see what the fuss
was about. Coming to think about it I wasn't too happy that she'd had no effect on me.
Did it mean...? I stared at her retreating form, desperately trying to find it sexy. Maybe
her hips? Didn't I feel a little twitch in my dick after all? I could almost make myself believe I
did. "Ogling her ass, Joey?" Dusty asked. "Nah, she's a troll," I replied, shrugging.
"Not my type." "Oh yeah? What's your type then?" "I bet you're more interested in
brains and inner beauty, huh?" Alan said, teasing me. "Or maybe older women? Huh,
Joey? You like boobs stretching to their knees, wrinkles all over and--" "Ugh! Shut up!" I
yelled, scrunching up my face in disgust. "My taste is so refined you guys don't have the
brains to understand it." "Whatever," Rick laughed. "I bet you like them all hairy." "Or
maybe obese," Alan laughed. "You guys are so sick," I laughed. "Or stuffing your
feet into--" "STOP!" I covered my ears. "I'm too young and innocent for your perversity!"
They just laughed at me, and I knew I was off the hook for now. But the whole thing
made me wonder about myself, and I didn't like it. In fact I was beginning to fear where this
was going. "Right," I mumbled. "This ought to do the trick." It was well after dinner and I
was in my room, door locked, lying on my bed. I was naked and about to prove that I wasn't
gay. I reached over and flicked on the light by my bed so I could see. I had dug out an old
ratty magazine with a woman on the cover. Opening it I flipped through the photos of her
undressing until she wore only net stockings and extremely high heels. She was making a
silly face, pouting, and her hands were on her crotch, sort of spreading it. I grabbed my limp
dick, trying to coax it to life. I fondled it, and there was response. "Yeah," I mumbled. "She's
hot." I flipped the page. Now she was on all four, still with a hand between her legs. Her
nails were extremely long and red. There was a text that said she was waiting for the
plumber to come install her drains or something. It was so... lousy. I tried to get my
dick all hard, but I couldn't. It refused to get more than half hard, and there was no way I
could jack off like that. The woman in the magazine was staring vacuously at me, her
wig almost covering her eyes. Her tits were hanging off her body. It was almost disgusting.
I threw the magazine across the room in frustration. Shit! It was Dusty's I'd
borrowed... but I could always buy a new one for him. There was a place we knew that sold
us everything we wanted. I dug under my bed for something better and finally came up
with something. It could have been mine, or maybe Alan's. I didn't remember, but I eagerly
opened it. This girl was much better looking, although the pouting was the same. I
studied the glossy pages intently, hoping for a reaction between my legs. It was slow in
coming. I finally got to the part where a young man with an enormous dick appeared in
the photos and started fucking her. This was more like it! Suddenly I felt myself harden, and I
was happy because this was good healthy straight porn. There was a close up of his dick
in her, and his balls were in center. It appealed to me, and I grabbed my dick and started
moving on it. It felt good. I moved on, and there was one of him on top of her. He had a nice
ass. I realized what I was thinking and moved on quickly. Hmm. He had nice legs too. If
only he didn't have his tongue in her mouth... With a start I realized my thoughts were
on a wrong path again and moved back to the section where it was only her. The hand on
my dick didn't feel as good as before, and I concentrated harder. Look at her breasts! They
look good. Look at her legs. I felt myself lose some of my hardness, and I threw the
magazine against the wall as hard as I could. I had to fight not to cry. What was happening
to me? Could I... was it even possible that I could be gay? I'd never thought about it
much before. I knew girls were the object of our desire, everybody told me so and it seemed
logical. I'd found many of them interesting and attractive... but not that attractive. Not like... I
guess some of the guys in school. Now that I thought about it some of them looked pretty
good. They had something. Shit shit shit. I sat up. What was I going to do? I staggered
to my feet and picked up the magazines. The first one had split in two. I looked at them,
trying to clear my mind of the panic. I couldn't deny it, if I had to choose I'd much rather
touch the man in the pictures than the woman. She was... ugh. I didn't want to touch her.
Of course it was possible that it was just those two who did that to me, and if I saw
another pair I'd choose the woman. But I was beginning to think I probably wouldn't, not if I
was being truthful. Shit. I crawled into bed and curled up, trying to hide, I guess. I
pulled the blanket up over my head. Somehow the world refused to be shut out, no matter
how hard I shut my eyes. It was at least half an hour before I began to calm down a little.
I should probably talk to somebody, but I didn't know who I could trust. There was no one I
was comfortable with, not enough to tell them something so secret. I peeked out from
under the blanket. My room looked messy like it always did, but I didn't see anything. I'd had
a thought. I did know someone I could trust, someone who probably wouldn't screw me over.
Someone who even knew how I felt, more or less, who could answer my questions. I
pulled on my boxers and some pants, the first pair I found. I added some socks, my anorak
over my bare chest and some shoes. It would do. I opened the door carefully and looked
out. It was dark. I was pretty sure my parents were asleep, and I was an only child. Well kind
of. My dad had two kids from a previous marriage that lived with their mother. I slipped
through the house and out the front door. It must have been 11 o'clock or something, and it
rained. It was cold, but not as cold as earlier in the day. I pulled out my bike, then
decided against it. The walk would do me good. I needed time to arrange my thoughts. And I
was scared and welcomed the delay. The streets were deserted. When I passed
under the great trees between the road and the pavement big drops of water hit me like
bombs, but I hardly noticed. It took me 45 minutes or so to reach Jimmy's house. It was late
by then and the house was dark, except that Jimmy's room had a light in it. I had to climb
over the fence and into the garden to see it, because it was on the side of the house. His
parents' car was in the garage. Suddenly I was afraid. What would I say? Was I sure
about this? Perhaps it was better to wait. No! It had to be now. Well, maybe not just now.
It could wait five minutes. I jumped back over the fence into the street and walked away,
giving myself a little break. Five minutes. I'd walk to the end of the street and then back, and
I'd do it. My heart was thumping in my breast when I neared the house again. I
grabbed hold of the fence. My hand shook. I'm not ready! Not yet! I checked my
impulse to run away and compromised. I'd walk to the end of the street and back, and then I
WOULD do it. I felt almost nauseous on my return this time. I debated another trip round the
block, but I realized I was being a fool. Nervously I giggled at my own stupidity. Time to make
a decision: Go home or face this? I moved carefully into the garden. The lawn stretched to
the fence so there were no flowers to mind, but the lawn was so wet that my already hard
pressed shoes got soaked. I thought there was no reason they shouldn't be when the rest of
my clothes were as wet as they could get. The light was out in his window. He was asleep.
I shook my head in disappointment. I'd come this far, and now this...? Refusing to give
up I picked up some pebbles and aimed at his window. My cold arm took its time getting the
aim right but I finally managed to hit the glass a few times. No reaction. Come on! I
shouted to myself. I threw some more pebbles, and after a minute the light came on.
Yes! The white curtain was pushed aside and he struggled with the window, finally getting
it open. He peered outside but didn't see me at first. "Jimmy!" I hissed. "Who's
there?" he asked, his voice thick with sleep. "It's me! Joey!" "Joey? Man! What are
you doing?" He sounded confused. "I need to talk to you. Can I come in?" "What?
Now? Can't it wait? I mean, it's..." He fumbled with something. "Almost one." "Please?
It's really important." He bit his lip. "Alright... What's it about?" "Can't I come on up?" I
asked, beginning to notice the rain running down my back. "Uh... I'd wake up my parents if I
open the door..." "Wait." I grabbed a chair from the nearby terrace and placed it against
the brick wall. "I'm coming up." "What?" He sounded amused. I climbed the
wooden chair and reached up to grab the window sill. Using a pear tree beside the window
for leverage I managed to hoist myself up, though it was a struggle for my cold limbs. He
caught me when I fell through the window. He'd moved the upholstered chair that normally
sat there next to his desk so he could get to me. He held me and I pulled my legs up, and
then he helped me regain my balance. "You're cold," he whispered. "Soaked... how
long have you been out?" His white t-shirt was wet were he'd touched his body to me.
"Couple of hours," I mumbled. "But why?" I hesitated, looking at the floor. This was
hard. "Joey?" His voice was mild and encouraging. I looked up and took him in. He
was gorgeous. He blew my mind. His white t-shirt was baggy and wet in places. Under it he
wore blue briefs, his favorite color, and his legs and feet were bare. His black hair was
tousled from sleep, and his eyelids were heavy. I couldn't speak, only look at him.
Somewhere inside me I was grinning. At least there can be no doubt now. I know what I am.
"You're beautiful," I blurted. He blushed. "Sweet talker." "No," I whispered. "I
mean it." I stepped forward to get closer to him. I took him by the shoulders, feeling him
shake from the cold of my hands, and leaned in to kiss him. His lips were scalding on
mine. It felt so good. He opened his mouth invitingly and closed his eyes. I accepted the
invitation. My arms found their way round his body and pulled him closer. He moaned
somewhere far away. Pulling away he smiled tenderly at me. "The way your teeth are
chattering I'm afraid you'll bite my tongue off by mistake. I'll find some clothes you can
borrow, and a blanket. We need to get you warm." I nodded and pulled off the anorak. I was
shaking, really freezing now that the tension was draining out of my body. He came back
from the bathroom with a towel and started drying my chest gently. Water pearled off it. He
bent down to remove my shoes, but I protested. "I can do that," I whispered. "Joey,
you're going to get really sick. You're shaking already. Just shut up," he said loud enough
that I wondered if his parents might hear. Then I remembered their bedroom was downstairs.
He pushed me back into the comfortable chair he'd lifted away from the window when
he opened it. That way I was off my feet and he could work easier and soon had the soggy
shoes off. Then he helped me stand and undid my pants. I could see he was hard from
undressing me, and I loved it. Even my boxers were soaked. He'd discreetly left them
on, but I shoved them down. "Haven't you got some briefs or something too?" I asked. He
gulped. "Yeah." Fumbling with some briefs in a drawer he looked back at me. He took an
awful long time finding them. "Here. Man... you're so sexy." I smiled and pulled on the
briefs. They barely fit. "How do you get these on, man?" I asked, struggling. "I
guess I'm not as big as you," he grinned. I blushed. He started finding me more clothes,
but I stooped him. "Do you mind if we get under the covers while we talk?" "No, no,"
he whispered. "I'd love to, even if you're cold." He smiled and took my hand. I followed him
to the bed and he sat down, pulling me down too. "I have to tell you... I had a dream that was
like this," he grinned. I smiled. He was adorable. We struggled under the covers, and he
pressed himself to me. His skin felt boiling hot, but I knew it was because my skin was
freezing. It must have been uncomfortable for him, but he said nothing. "So, what did you
need to talk about so bad that it couldn't wait?" he asked, his breath warming my cheek. I
turned to look him in the eyes, my nose touching his. "You, in a way," I replied. "Me?" I
kissed him, and he smiled. "Yes, you," I sighed. I kissed him again. "This is nice, but
I'd like a better explanation," he smiled, licking his lips. "I think I'm gay." I surprised
myself that I could say it so easily. His eyes opened wide. The implications were clear to
him. "No, I'm pretty sure," I continued. "I've been thinking and I didn't know, and then I
went home and thought some more and I thought a lot of things made sense that way but
how could I know, and--" I rambled on. "Shh..." he grinned, pressing a finger to my lips.
"Slower, please." I smiled. "K. I wanted to talk to you about how you knew you were gay,
but then... I saw you and I just know now." He smiled wider. "Wow." "Yeah." My hand
found the back of his head and held it, caressing the skin through his hair. "I wouldn't
have been able to help much," he whispered. "I didn't go through anything like that. I've
always just known." I felt my eyebrows lifting. "Really? How strange." "Thanks." He
laughed. "No, I don't mind strange like that! I mean, strange that some know and others
don't." "Yeah." He bit his lips and looked down. "So, does this mean that you... like me?"
"Yeah, I think so." He raised his eyes. "Think?" "Well... I've never been in... love
before," I mumbled, feeling my cheeks burning. His eyes grew meltingly tender. "I think
I'm going to cry," he whispered. "I'm so in love with you. I guess you knew already." I
smiled, feeling warmth spreading in my stomach. "I'm glad," I said simply. "This could so
easily be a dream." He smiled. "It isn't. I'm never this cold in dreams." He
giggled. "Is that all you can say? Aren't you getting warmer by now?" "Well... it's not a
dream because I don't dream about being pressed close to a pretty boy whose skin is on
fire," I smiled. "And I don't recall ever wearing briefs in a dream." "Stupid." He grinned. I
leaned over and kissed him again. "To answer your question, yes, I'm heating up pretty well."
I wriggled my brows. "I know," he grinned. He was so close he could feel my erection. A few
hours earlier I couldn't get it up no matter how much I wanted, but now, with Jimmy, I was as
hard as the briefs would permit. He was hard too. He had been since he undressed me.
Uncertainly his hand traveled down my side and over my back, caressing me. I moaned. I
wanted him to touch me and I wanted to touch him. He sensed my desire and smiled. He
was fully awake now. Hooking his arm around me he pulled me over and on top of him. I
rested on my elbows and looked down at his flushed face, his black hair spread over the
pillow. I felt my heart swelling. Our dicks were pressed against each other and he moaned in
pleasure. "Mmmm... I love this." "Me too." I leaned down and kissed him, and
this time he opened his mouth and practically sucked my inside him like a vacuum cleaner.
We kissed deeply, and I ground against him. He was squirming under me, stroking my back
and shoulders, but he was reluctant to go further. I felt him pull back a few times before I
realized what was going on. Resting my full weight on him I brought my arms to my back
and caught his. Then I pulled his hands to my ass. "It's OK," I whispered into his neck.
"Touch me anywhere you want." "Oh God!" he gasped, feeling my ass. "Oh God."
"You like?" I grinned, licking his cheek. "Yeah... I almost came!" I nibbled his ear,
feeling myself grow hotter and hotter. "You really like me, huh?" "Yeah..." He turned his
head to give me better access to the area behind his ear. "You're my dream guy." I
licked and nibbled and said nothing, lost in his taste and smell. If there had been any doubt
before it was gone now. This was what I wanted, what I needed. I needed Jimmy, like this.
"Always you..." he mumbled in a faraway voice. "Always Joey..." I could feel my
climax approaching, but I wanted more. "Jimmy... babe?" "Yeah?" "Can I take
them off you?" He knew what I meant. He was always fast. "Please," he whispered.
I rolled half off him and grabbed his briefs, trying to ease them off his hips. He had to
help me, but together we did it. "Wow," I gasped. "You're so beautiful!" He had a
wild look on his face. He turned his face to me and started to pull at my own -- well really his
-- briefs to get them off me, and I obliged. "Perfect," he mumbled when he saw it. No one
else had ever seen me hard before. I climbed on top of him again. We were a perfect
physical match, same height, roughly same build. Even our dicks were practically the same
size. Mine was bigger to begin with, but his grew more when he got hard. It fascinated me.
Without the briefs, with nothing between us, it felt even better. I knew it would be over
quick and it couldn't be helped. He was unashamedly feeling my ass now. His body was
against me all the way, and his eyes looked into mine and I was so happy I'd come to him.
"Joey... I'm about to..." he gasped, breaking out kiss. "Go ahead," I whispered
huskily. He scrunched his eyes shut and began jerking under me, much like the
evening before when I'd massaged him through his underwear, but this time I could feel his
sperm between us. It was a sensation I was unprepared for, but it was glorious. He
whimpered, and I knew he felt good, and then my head dropped to his shoulder and I came
crashing to my orgasm. I don't think I ever came that hard. It was all over us, and I was
exhausted afterwards. Happy and exhausted. I wasn't cold at all now, I was covered with
sweat. "Man..." Jimmy whimpered. "Man..." "I know," I panted in his ear. "Wow." His hand
fished around and finally found the blanket and pulled it over us. I was too exhausted for
anything, already half asleep. Sliding half off him I clutched him to me. He had grown
precious to me and I hadn't realized it, but now that he had I accepted it as a fact, a
wonderful fact. One of my legs was between his, one of his arms around my neck. It
felt good. I turned my face to his neck and fell asleep. Well, that's it. That's the story of
me and Jimmy. Thanks for reading. Actually it's the story of me. And parts of the story of
Jimmy. And the beginning of the story about me and Jimmy. And now there really isn't much
more to say. Of course a lot more happened. Nothing that came later affected me as
deeply as those weeks with Jimmy, but a lot of things stuck in my mind. Like the next
morning, and when Jimmy's mother found us out. We were very lucky in so many ways. I
remember the next morning. It was wonderful chaos. I can't help smiling about it now when I
think back. "Shit!" Jimmy gasped, waking me. "It's almost 7!" I was fully awake
immediately. "Shit!" "Can you make it?" he asked, worried. "No!" I felt panic rising.
"I'll have to say I've been out running." I jumped out of bed and he was right behind. He
looked delicious, smelled delicious, but I had no time to appreciate it. My clothes were
still wet but I started putting them on anyway. "Wait. It's not raining anymore, you can't
wear that. They'll never believe you just went out." He started rummaging in his clothes to
find me something and eventually came up with some gray sweat pants and a shirt and
some socks. I'd pulled on the briefs he'd found for me the night before -- I thought I found the
ones that were mine, but they could be his -- and quickly put on what he gave me. I had to
use my own shoes, but I could always say the ground was wet or something. "Put the
chair back," he said as I opened the window. "Won't your parents see?" I worried.
"No, your can hear the downstairs shower. That'll be my dad. My mom will be in the kitchen,
so if you hurry..." "K." I crawled halfway out, sitting with one leg in, one out. "Wait!" he
said and stepped over to me. "Come back." He leaned in and kissed me. I smiled in spite of
the situation. "You bet." I reached out and caught his head, pulled him back to me and kissed
him again. He smiled, relieved. Maybe he thought I'd have second thoughts by now.
Oddly enough, I had none. Not one. I slid out, hung by my hands and then let go, avoiding
the chair. Then I put it back where I'd taken it, waved to Jimmy in his window and ran over
the lawn and into the street, trying to get home before my mother would try to wake me. It
would not be easy. I didn't make it. When I walked through the door, sweaty and out of
breath, my legs shaking from the long sprint, I saw my dad at the table. He looked up at me
and raised his eyebrows. I suddenly realized where I had that same habit from. "Is that
him?" my mother asked from the living room before he could say anything. "Looks like
him," my dad grinned. She came into the kitchen. "Joey! I've been so worried!"
"Sorry," I mumbled sheepishly. "Guess I forgot to leave a note. I was out running."
She shook her head, clearly despairing of me. "Get in the shower. You're late," my dad
told me. "I'll drive you to school." "Shit! Is that the time!" I gasped. It was only half an
hour before school started. I ran to the shower, stopping only to put Jimmy's clothes in my
room. Wouldn't do to have my mother pick them up and wonder why she'd never seen them
before. When I threw clothes on I noticed that my mother had removed the porno
magazines from my bed and put them on the table. Must have seen them when she came in
to wake me. Talk about embarrassing! Luckily my parents were cool like that, they knew I
had porn and they never said anything. "I guess breakfast is out of the question," I
sighed, hearing my stomach rumble. "Here," my dad said handing me an apple and
some money. "Get something good from the cafeteria, Joey!" my mother instructed. "Not
chocolate and rubbish." "Yes, mom," I mumbled and followed my dad to the car.
"So, been seeing your girlfriend this morning, huh?" my dad grinned, winking at me as we
drove through town. "No!" I shook my head, unwilling to say more. He wasn't far off after
all. "Whatever you say, Joey," he said, patting my thigh when he'd stopped at a red light.
"Just make sure you're safe." "Safe? Oh!" I realized what he meant. "I will. Now can
we drop it?" "I'm only saying it because I remember being young." "That was 300
years ago," I replied, leaning over and kissing his cheek before running away to be in class
when the teacher arrived. My thoughts about how I might avoid being found out in school
just show how naive I was back then. Jimmy would say I still am. I guess in some ways I am.
He couldn't stop looking at me, and I couldn't ignore him even if I wanted to, but I
found I didn't. He did not deserve that, and neither did I. At lunch I saw him alone at a
table as always. I wanted to sit with him, but I sat down with Dusty and the others like I used
to do. I hadn't started eating yet when my decision was made. "Hey guys, I'm going to
go see what Jimmy's up to," I announced, grabbing my tray. They looked at me like I
was insane. "What?" Dusty gasped. "I thought you didn't like him." "I do now. I did
those projects with him in drama. He's actually pretty cool." They looked shell
shocked, but I left them and sat down with Jimmy. He looked up surprised, then smiled so
wide I was afraid everyone would realize he was in love with me. Then I decided I should
be happy he was smiling when he saw me, not worried. "People will think you're crazy,"
he smiled. "I am -- crazy about you." He laughed. "Yuck!" He took a bite of his bread.
"So... you got home in time?" "No." I grinned. "Had to concoct some story about
running and forgetting the note and the time. I think my mom bought it, but my dad was
teasing me in the car. He thinks I was visiting my girlfriend." "I don't like to think of
myself as your girlfriend," he mumbled, smiling. "You're not. You're my boyfriend." His
eyes turned tender, so tender I could feel myself blush. There was so much I wanted to say,
but we kept silent. It wasn't safe after all. "So... do you think we could do something
together during the week?" he asked. "Yes," I replied simply. "I think we can." He
smiled. Even now, so long after, the memory makes me feel wonderful. Of course
there was the inevitable reactions, but not as bad as they could've been. "You're weird,
man," Alan said accusingly when we were on our way to class. He and I sat at the same
desk in this class, Dusty and Rick behind us. "Why?" I asked, knowing the answer.
"You know!" "What? He's cool!" Irritation crept into my voice. Please, please let my
friends be OK with this, I thought, getting nervous. "They say he's a fag." "Well if he
is," I said icily, "he's a cool fag. OK?" "Not OK," Alan protested. "He's a lot smarter
than you, for one thing," I remarked. "Hey! No need to get personal!" "Just... lay off him,
OK? I like him." "Whatever, man." Alan shook his head. "Your choice." "That's
right." I sat down in my chair as the bell rang. I caught Dusty looking strangely at me. It
worried me because he was pretty smart and might just figure me out, but I was relieved to
see that -- so far -- the was no hostility in his eyes, only curiosity. The next class was
drama, and since we were all in it, Alan, Rick, Dusty, Jimmy and I, I knew there could be
trouble. I just had to play it by ear. It was group work, more preparation for the play we
were staging in the spring. We were normally a group alone for that kind of thing, the four of
us, but I waved Jimmy closer. He approached us apprehensively. "You guys don't mind if
Jimmy's with us, do you?" I asked. "He's already researched the play and all." "Um... no,"
Dusty said unenthusiastically. Alan glared at me, but they couldn't very well say no as I
knew. Jimmy was nervous and not at his best for the first 15 minutes, but then he began
relaxing more and being himself. I could sense the other guys' surprise that he was actually
OK. It warmed me inside. Goldie was beaming at me, very pleased to see that I was
making an effort to involve Jimmy like he'd asked. If only he knew what his request had led
to... He'd probably figure I owed him and expect me to work harder in his class, so I thought
it was just as well he didn't know. The other guys soon realized that Jimmy knew all
about the play. He could answer their questions and tell them everything they wanted to
know. If he did OK in the staging of the play he'd be well on his way to an A in the class. I
was proud of him which was probably a little silly, I thought. But maybe not. He was my
boyfriend after all. After the two hours where we got a lot done Jimmy had to hurry to his
English class, but we had our history class next door and had a little time. I watched him
leave because I couldn't take my eyes off him. "You know," Dusty said, placing a beefy
arm round my shoulder. "Your friend isn't so bad." "I know," I nodded. We were alone in
the room now, and he held me back. "Only problem is he's madly in love with you, buddy."
"What?" I gasped. "Joey! Don't tell me you haven't noticed. I've never seen
anyone so obviously in love." I opened my mouth and closed it again. I didn't know
what I could possibly say. "Don't you think it's a problem?" he insisted. "Shouldn't you talk
to him about it?" "Who says you're right?" I tried. "Joey!" he grinned. "You know I
am." I looked down. I knew he was and I couldn't deny it. "But maybe," he said
slowly as if realizing the possibility for the first time, "maybe it's not a problem at all?" I
was shaking now. Quickly I pulled away from his arm. "We have to hurry," I gasped.
"Mrs. Lancaster will be there in a minute." I could feel his eyes on my back as I hurried
away. We never spoke about it again, but I knew that he knew. He never questioned
Jimmy's presence again, never hassled him -- or me, for that matter. In many ways Dusty
surprised me. I would have thought he'd go crazy. He didn't at all. He was a lot smarter than
anyone ever realized. He was a good friend. Jimmy thought it was funny. He tried to
hide it because I was so worried, but I could see it in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Joey," he
offered. "I tried to hide it. I thought I had." "Yeah well..." I shrugged. He smiled. "He's
quite hot." I stared at him, shocked. "I'm kidding," he bubbled. "You're the best
looking guy in the world." He looked at me with dreamy eyes, and I could feel my worry
washing away. "I loved sleeping with you," I smiled. He blushed. "No, I mean the
actual sleeping," I grinned, "but that too." "Oh!" He grinned. "So did I. Can you come over
this weekend? I want to do it without being shocked out of bed." "I'll be here." I smiled.
"Won't your parents think it's weird that I'm over so much?" "My mother's so thrilled I
think she'll burst." He smiled sadly. "She's been waiting for me to get friends again." My
smile fell. It was easy to forget what his world was like. Just then she knocked on the
door. "I made some sandwiches," she smiled. "I know how hungry boys are." "Thanks," I
smiled. "I wish my mother knew too." She laughed and closed the door. "Your
parents are great," I said. "I guess." He smiled. "How else could they get so sensational
a son?" I winked at him. "You're right." He grinned. "I see some of both of them in
you," I continued. "Joey!" He hid his face in his hands. "Don't say that!" I guess
most people feel that way about their parents. I went to the table to look at the
sandwiches, and he followed me. They looked good. "You have the cooking thing from
your mother," I laughed. "Then there's the smile..." "Shut up," he smiled. "You could use that
mouth so much better." He pursed his lips a little in expectation. "You're right, I could eat,"
I grinned. "Man!" "Oh, you mean this?" I smiled and took him in my arms to kiss him. He
moaned and melted into me, opening his mouth instantly. I so loved kissing him. He tasted
so good, and it was just as good for him. We fit together. Just then his mother burst back
in, holding two sodas in her hand. "Forgot these..." Then she stopped. I was too shocked
to do anything, but Jimmy pulled away from me. "Mom..." he began. "Jimmy," she said,
with a hint of humor in her voice. "Don't you ever knock?" He looked very nervous and
uncomfortable. "I'm sorry, boys, I forgot." She put down the cans. Then she went and
took her son in her arms. The moment she did that he became her little boy again. I could
almost see the little black haired kid from kindergarten in front of me. "Oh mom," he
mumbled, almost crying. She said nothing, just kissed his forehead and caressed his
cheek. Then she winked at me and released him. "I put a new dressing in the ham ones,"
she said, indicating the sandwiches. "Let me know if you like it, so I can make it again, K?"
"Uhm... yeah, Mrs. Reitinger," I managed to stammer out. "Mom?" Jimmy asked
confused. "What? It's a new recipe." "Not that!" he said, a small smile finding its way
to his face. "Oh, relax, both of you. I'm not a fool. Do you really think this surprised me?"
She grinned. Jimmy looked completely taken aback. "You knew?" he gasped. "Yes of
course. Female intuition." "Wow." She grinned again. "That, and you might want to
shut down your computer when you leave. Not all the pictures are totally... um..." "Shit!"
Jimmy gasped, clasping a hand over his mouth. His eyes bulged. "Language, young man,"
she said, then turned around to leave. As she did she squeezed my hand briefly. "Wow," I
said when she'd closed the door. He looked close to tears. "I love your mom!" I
blurted. He grinned and shook his head. "What just happened?" I smiled.
"Something good." I grabbed sandwich and took a bite. It tasted great. "Think she'll marry
me?" I once asked Jimmy if he knew I was gay from the start. He grinned and said "of
course, dumbass," but I think he was lying. I think it was luck for him as much as it was for
me, but on the other hand he knew what he was doing and I didn't, even though at the time I
thought it was the other way around. Maybe he was manipulating me. He has a manipulative
streak as I've found out. But then so do I. I once confessed to him that I wanted him all
along and just tried to give him some slack before reeling him in, just so that he would get
really crazy about me. He didn't believe me, but I know there was a part of him that spent
days going over all the events, every word, every action, to see if he'd been had. Of course I
was the one who was had, so to speak, but I will never admit it to him. That boy, he would
use it against me.... And I love it when he does. But don't tell him I said that. THE END