BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR

“Okay, but be careful what you wish for…”, Lindsey muttered to me before barging away. I did
absolutely nothing about it and immediately shrugged off guilt that had taken over me for a few
seconds. My greatest fear has always been loneliness. The thought of being rejected by anyone has
always made my heart skip a beat. Little did I know that this deranged fear of mine would make me
so heinous and inhuman. Fear sure does drive people insane. Since I was raised in an ivory tower, I
had no idea what feelings such as grief, pain, dejection and anger meant until middle school.
Although I was struggling to keep up with rest of the students in categories such as getting good
grades, both physical and mental well-being, I managed to befriend a girl called Lindsey.

Lindsey was different. We both were like chalk and cheese. I believed that all humans have been
sailing in the same boat of hypocrisy while she disagreed to believe that humanity shares one boat.
Lindsey soon turned up to be my best friend and only friend in the whole of middle school. We even
joined the same high school. Things started changing in high school. Lindsey utterly despised changes
while I cherished them. Auditions for the school band had begun. Mostly, people who were members
of the school band were considered “cooler” than the others. “It’s just the music superiority,” Dean,
a member from the school band responded fixing his hair when a junior questioned him. Me being
an amateur pianist, worked assiduously over my piano skills for as long as I had time till the
auditions. I could not have missed this golden opportunity at any cost. I would finally be able to get
along with the cool kids, feel wanted and be accepted. My ‘want’ for getting into the school was not
a ’want’ anymore but instead a ‘need’ now. Without even realizing I started giving up on food and
water and kept practising piano. It was like an unhealthy addiction. After all the back-breaking work, I
got selected in the school band. People had finally started to look at me, acknowledge my presence,
and lastly, started to be nice to me. While I was getting used to my wonderful new life, I had probably
forgotten about my wonderful old friend. I did not even care to approach Lindsey. “Why even
approach her? I have so many new friends now.” I used to wonder. Everything was perfect.

Things slowly came back to being as they were. I was removed from the school band just after three
months after joining it. I was simply an inexperienced amateur after all. All my new friends now had
someone else to look up to and I was left alone yet again, but this time, deep inside I knew I
deserved it. Lindsey on the other hand found a much better counterpart than me. One must be
careful for what one wishes, lest it may happen. Beware for you may end up losing everything in
search of something. Lastly, do not forget to spot a difference between gold plating and gold. Yet
again I was left to wage a battle with my greatest fear, but I am afraid I might drown.

~ Tisha Gawai
10th Scholars