Micromachined Circuits and Devices:

Microwave to Sub-millimeter
Applications (Lecture Notes in
Electrical Engineering, 859) Shiban
Kishen Koul
Visit to download the full and correct content document:
https://ebookmeta.com/product/micromachined-circuits-and-devices-microwave-to-su
b-millimeter-applications-lecture-notes-in-electrical-engineering-859-shiban-kishen-ko
ul/
More products digital (pdf, epub, mobi) instant
download maybe you interests ...

Wearable Antennas and Body Centric Communication

Present and Future 1st Edition Koul Shiban Kishen
Bharadwaj Richa

https://ebookmeta.com/product/wearable-antennas-and-body-centric-
communication-present-and-future-1st-edition-koul-shiban-kishen-
bharadwaj-richa/

Wearable Antennas and Body Centric Communication

Present and Future 1st Edition Koul Shiban Kishen
Bharadwaj Richa

https://ebookmeta.com/product/wearable-antennas-and-body-centric-
communication-present-and-future-1st-edition-koul-shiban-kishen-
bharadwaj-richa-2/

A Guide to Noise in Microwave Circuits Devices Circuits

and Measurement 1st Edition Peter Heymann Matthias
Rudolph

https://ebookmeta.com/product/a-guide-to-noise-in-microwave-
circuits-devices-circuits-and-measurement-1st-edition-peter-
heymann-matthias-rudolph/

Reconfigurable Active and Passive Planar Antennas for

Wireless Communication Systems 1st Edition Shiban
Kishen Koul Rajesh K Singh

https://ebookmeta.com/product/reconfigurable-active-and-passive-
planar-antennas-for-wireless-communication-systems-1st-edition-
shiban-kishen-koul-rajesh-k-singh/
Solved Problems for Transient Electrical Circuits
(Lecture Notes in Electrical Engineering Vol. 809)
Alfonso Bachiller Soler

https://ebookmeta.com/product/solved-problems-for-transient-
electrical-circuits-lecture-notes-in-electrical-engineering-
vol-809-alfonso-bachiller-soler/

Microelectronics Circuits and Systems Select

Proceedings of 7th International Conference on
Micro2020 Lecture Notes in Electrical Engineering 755

https://ebookmeta.com/product/microelectronics-circuits-and-
systems-select-proceedings-of-7th-international-conference-on-
micro2020-lecture-notes-in-electrical-engineering-755/

Advances in Communication, Devices and Networking:

Proceedings of ICCDN 2020 (Lecture Notes in Electrical
Engineering, 776) Sourav Dhar (Editor)

https://ebookmeta.com/product/advances-in-communication-devices-
and-networking-proceedings-of-iccdn-2020-lecture-notes-in-
electrical-engineering-776-sourav-dhar-editor/

Advances in Electrical and Electronic Engineering and

Computer Science (Lecture Notes in Electrical
Engineering, 741) Zahriladha Zakaria (Editor)

https://ebookmeta.com/product/advances-in-electrical-and-
electronic-engineering-and-computer-science-lecture-notes-in-
electrical-engineering-741-zahriladha-zakaria-editor/

Artificial Intelligence Driven Circuits and Systems:

Select Proceedings of ISED 2021 (Lecture Notes in
Electrical Engineering, 811) Biswajit Mishra (Editor)

https://ebookmeta.com/product/artificial-intelligence-driven-
circuits-and-systems-select-proceedings-of-ised-2021-lecture-
notes-in-electrical-engineering-811-biswajit-mishra-editor/
Another random document with
no related content on Scribd:
 Georgius Buchananus
TO ZOILUS
With industry I spread your praise,
With equal, you my censure blaze;
But, Zoilus, all in vain we do—
The world nor credits me nor you.

ON LEONORA
There’s a lie on thy cheek in its roses,
A lie echoed back by thy glass.
Thy necklace on greenhorns imposes,
And the ring on thy finger is brass.
Yet thy tongue, I affirm, without giving an inch back,
Outdoes the sham jewels, rouge, mirror, and pinchbeck.

Johannes Secundus
ON CHARINUS, THE HUSBAND OF AN UGLY WIFE
Your wife’s possest of such a face and mind,
So charming that, and this so soft and kind,
So smooth her forehead, and her voice so sweet,
Her words so tender and her dress so neat;
That would kind Jove, whence man all good derives,
In wondrous bounty send me three such wives,
Dear happy husband, take it on my word,
To Pluto I’d give two, to take the third.

Theodorus Beza
In age, youth, and manhood, three wives have I tried,
Whose qualities rare all my wants have supplied.
The first, goaded on by the ardour of youth,
I woo’d for the sake of her person, forsooth:
The second I took for the sake of her purse;
And the third—for what reason? I wanted a nurse.

Paulus Thomas
ON CELSUS
With self love Celsus burns: is he not blest?
For thus without a rival he may rest.

Stephanus Paschasius
 MARRIED LIFE
No day, no hour, no moment, is my house
Free from the clamour of my scolding spouse!
My servants all are rogues; and so am I,
Unless, for quiet’s sake, I join the cry.
I aim, in all her freaks, my wife to please;
I wage domestic war, in hopes of ease.
I vain the hopes! and my fond bosom bleeds,
To feel how soon to peace mad strife succeeds:
To find, with servants jarring, or my wife,
The worst of lawsuits is a married life.

Johannes Audœmus
TO A FRIEND IN DISTRESS
I wish thy lot, now bad, still worse, my friend;
For when at worst, they say, things always mend.

ADVICE TO PONTICUS
Thou nothing giv’st, but dying wilt: then die:
He giveth twice, who giveth speedily.

Balthasar Bonifacius
DANGEROUS LOVE
All whom I love die young; Zoilus, I’ll try,
Tho’ loath’d, to love thee—that thou too may’st die.

From Bhartrihari, an Indian philosopher who flourished about the

ninth century, we select the following cynical paragraphs.

I believed that one woman was devoted to me, but she is now
attracted by another man, and another man takes pleasure in her,
while a second woman interests herself in me. Curses on them both,
and on the god of love, and on the other woman, and on myself.
 The fundamentally ignorant man is easily led, and the wise man
still more easily; but not even the Almighty Himself can exercise any
influence on the smatterer.

A man may tear the pearl from between the teeth of the crocodile;
he may steer his ship over the roughest seas; he may twine a
serpent round his brow like a laurel; but he cannot convince a foolish
and stubborn opponent.

A man may squeeze oil from sand; he may slake his thirst from
the well in a mirage; he may even obtain possession of a hare’s
horn; but he cannot convince a foolish and stubborn opponent.

A dog will eat with delight the most noisome and decaying bones,
and will pay no attention even if the ruler of the gods stands before
him—and in like manner a mean man takes no heed of the
worthlessness of his belongings.

Our nobility of birth may pass away; our virtues may fall into
decay: our moral character may perish as if thrown over a precipice:
our family may be burnt to ashes, and a thunderbolt may dash away
our power like an enemy: let us keep a firm grip on our money, for
without this the whole assembly of virtues are but as blades of glass.
 Let a man be wealthy, and he shall be quite wise, learned in the
sacred writings and of good birth; virtuous, handsome and eloquent.
Gold attracts all the virtues to itself.
The same portion of the sky that forms a circle round the moon by
night also forms a circle round the sun by day How great is the
labour of both!

A sour heart; a face hardened with inward pride and a nature as

difficult to penetrate as the narrowest of mountain passes—these
things are known to be characteristic of women: their mind is known
by the wise to be as changeable as the drop of dew on the lotus leaf.
Faults develop in a woman as she grows up, exactly as poisonous
branches sprout from the creeper.

The beautiful features of a woman are praised by the poets—her

breasts are compared to pots of gold: her face to the shining moon,
and her hips to the forehead of an elephant: nevertheless the beauty
of a woman merits no praise.

From The Baharistan, the work of Jami, a Persian poet and

philosopher.

Bahlúl being asked to count the fools of Basrah, replied: “They are
without the confines of computation. If you ask me, I will count the
wise men, for they are no more than a limited few.”
 A learned man being annoyed while writing a letter to one of his
confidential friends, at the conduct of a person who, seated at his
side, glanced out of the corner of his eye at his writing, wrote: “Had
not a hireling thief been seated at my side and engaged in reading
my letter I should have written to thee all my secrets.” The man said:
“By God, my lord, I have neither read nor even looked at thy letter.”
“Fool!” exclaimed the other; “how then canst thou say what thou now
sayest?”
A mendicant once coming to beg something at the door of a
house, the master of it called out to him from the interior: “Pray
excuse me: the women of the house are not here.” The beggar
retorted: “I wish for a morsel of bread, not to embrace the women of
the house.”

A certain person made a claim of ten dirams on Júhí. The judge

enquired: “Hast thou any testimony to offer?” On the answer being in
the negative he continued: “Shall I put him on his oath?” “Of what
value is his oath?” said the man in reply. “O judge of the Faithful,”
then proposed Júhí in his turn, “there lives in my quarter of the town
an Imám, temperate, truthful and beneficent, send for him and put
him on his oath instead of me, that this man’s mind may be easy.”

A poet read me once a wretched ode—

Verse of the kind where “alif” finds no place.
I said the kind of verse that thou should’st make,
Is that in which no letter we could trace.
 Jáhiz relates: “I never experienced so much shame as this event
occasioned me. One day a woman took my hand and led me to the
shop of a master metal founder, saying to him: ‘Be it thus formed.’ I
being puzzled to know what this conduct signified, questioned the
master, who in reply said: ‘She had ordered me to make her a figure
in the form of Satan. When I told her that I did not know in what
semblance to make it, she brought thee, as thou knowest, and said:
‘Make it in this semblance.’”

The same learned man, too, gives us this relation: “As I was once
standing in the street, in conversation with a friend, a woman came
and standing opposite me, gazed in my face. When her staring had
exceeded all bounds, I said to my slave: ‘Go to that woman and ask
her what she seeks.’ The slave returning to me thus reported her
answer: ‘I wished to inflict some punishment on my eyes which had
committed a great fault, and could find none more severe for them
than the sight of thy ugly face.’”
A person who perceived an ugly man asking pardon for his sins,
and praying for deliverance from the fire of hell, said to him:
“Wherefore, O friend, with such a countenance as thou hast,
would’st thou cheat hell, and give such a face reluctantly to the fire?”

An assembly of people being seated together, and engaged in

discussing the merits and defects of men, one of them observed:
“Whoever has not two seeing eyes is but half a man; and whoever
has not in his house a beautiful bride is but half a man; finally he who
cannot swim in the sea is but half a man.” A blind man in the
company who had no wife, and could not swim, called out to him: “O
my dear friend, thou hast laid down an extraordinary principle, and
cast me so far out of the circle of manhood, that still half a man is
required before I can take the name of one who is no man.”
 A Beduin having lost a camel, made an oath that when he found it
he would sell it for one diram. When however he found it, repenting
of his oath, he tied a cat to its neck, and called out: “Who will buy the
camel for one diram and the cat for a hundred dirams; but both
together, as I will not part them.” “How cheap,” said a person who
had arrived there, “would be this camel, had it not this collar attached
to its neck!”

A Beduin who had lost a camel, proclaimed: “Whoever brings me

my camel shall have two camels as a reward.” “Out, man!” said they
to him; “what kind of business is this? Is the whole ass load of less
value than a small additional bundle laid upon it?” “You have this
excuse for your words,” replied he, “that you have never tasted the
pleasure of finding, and the sweetness of recovering what has been
lost.”

A Khalíf was partaking of food with an Arab from the desert.

During the repast as his glance fell upon the Arab’s portion he saw in
it a hair, and said: “O Arab, take that hair out of thy food.” The Arab
exclaimed: “It is impossible to eat at the table of one who looks so at
his guest’s portion as to perceive a hair in it.” Then withdrawing his
hand he swore never again to partake of food at his table.

A weaver left a deposit in the house of a learned man. After a few

days had elapsed, finding some necessity for it, he paid him a visit
and found him seated at the door of his house giving instruction to a
number of pupils who were standing in a row before him. “O
Professor,” said the man, “I am in want of the deposit which I left.”
“Be seated a moment,” replied the other, “until I have finished the
lesson.” The weaver sat down, but the lesson lasted a long time and
he was pressed for time. Now that learned man had a habit when
giving lessons, of wagging his head, and the weaver seeing this, and
fancying that to give a lesson was merely to wag the head, said:
“Rise up, O Professor, and make me thy deputy till thy return: let me
wag my head in place of thee, and do thou bring out my deposit, for I
am in a hurry.” The learned man, hearing this, laughed and said:

In public halls the city jurist boasts

That all, obscure or clear, to him is known;
But if thou ask him aught, his answer mark:—
A gesture with the hand or head alone.

From a collection called The Pleasantries of Cogia Nasr Eddin

Effendi, the typical noodle of the Turks.
Cogia Effendi one day went into a garden, pulled up some carrots
and turnips and other kinds of vegetables, which he found, putting
some into a sack and some into his bosom; suddenly the gardener
coming up, laid hold of him, and said, “What are you seeking here?”
The Cogia, being in great consternation, not finding any other reply,
answered, “For some days past a great wind has been blowing, and
that wind blew me hither.” “But who pulled up these vegetables,” said
the gardener? “As the wind blew very violently,” replied the Cogia, “it
cast me here and there, and whatever I laid hold of in the hope of
saving myself remained in my hands.” “Ah,” said the gardener, “but
who filled the sack with them?” “Well,” said the Cogia, “that is the
very question I was about to ask myself when you came up.”
 One day Cogia Nasr Eddin Effendi said, “O Mussulmen, give
thanks to God Most High that He did not give the camel wings; for,
had He given them, they would have perched upon your houses and
chimneys, and have caused them to tumble upon your heads.”

One day the, Cogia saw a great many ducks playing on the top of
a fountain. The Cogia, running towards them, said, “I’ll catch you”;
whereupon they all rose up and took to flight. The Cogia, taking a
little bread in his hand, sat down on the side of the fountain, and
crumbling the bread in the fountain, fell to eating. A person coming
up, said, “What are you eating?” “Duck broth,” replied the Cogia.

One day the Cogia went with Cheragh Ahmed to the den of a
wolf, in order to see the cubs. Said the Cogia to Ahmed: “Do you go
in.” Ahmed did so. The old wolf was abroad, but presently returning,
tried to get into the cave to its young. When it was about half way in
the Cogia seized hard hold of it by the tail. The wolf in its struggles
cast a quantity of dust into the eyes of Ahmed. “Hallo, Cogia,” he
cried, “What does this dust mean.” “If the wolf’s tail breaks,” said the
Cogia, “You’ll soon see what the dust means.”

One day a thief got into the Cogia’s house. Cries his wife, “O
Cogia, there is a thief in the house.” “Don’t make any disturbance,”
says the Cogia. “I wish to God that he may find something, so that I
may take it from him.”
 Cogia Effendi, every time he returned to his house, was in the
habit of bringing a piece of liver, which his wife always gave to a
common woman, placing before the Cogia leavened patties to eat
when he came home in the evening. One day the Cogia said, “O
wife, every day I bring home a liver: where do they all go to?” “The
cat runs away with all of them,” replied the wife. Therefore the Cogia
getting up, put his hatchet in the trunk and locked it up. Says his wife
to the Cogia, “For fear of whom do you lock up the hatchet?” “For
fear of the cat,” replied the Cogia. “What should the cat do with the
hatchet?” said the wife. “Why,” replied the Cogia, “as he takes a
fancy to the liver, which costs two aspres, is it not likely that he will
take a fancy to the hatchet, which costs four?”

One day the Cogia, being out on a journey, encamped along with
a caravan, and tied up his horse along with the others. When it was
morning the Cogia could not find his horse amongst the rest, not
knowing how to distinguish it; forthwith taking a bow and arrow in his
hand, he said, “Men, men, I have lost my horse.” Every one
laughing, took his own horse; and the Cogia looking, saw a horse
which he instantly knew to be his own. Forthwith placing his right foot
in the stirrup, he mounted the horse, so that his face looked to the
horse’s tail. “O Cogia,” said they, “why do you mount the horse the
wrong way?” “It is not my fault,” said he, “but the horse’s, for the
horse is left-handed.”

One day as the Cogia was travelling in the Derbend he met a

shepherd. Said the shepherd to the Cogia. “Art thou a faquir?” “Yes,”
said the Cogia. Said the shepherd, “See these seven men who are
lying here, they were men like you whom I killed because they could
not answer questions which I asked. Now, in the first place let us
come to an understanding; if you can answer my questions let us
hold discourse, if not, let us say nothing.” Says the Cogia, “What
may your questions be?” Said the shepherd, “The moon, when it is
new, is small, afterwards it increases, until it looks like a wheel; after
the fifteenth, it diminishes, and does not remain; then again, there is
a little one, of the size of Hilal, which does remain. Now what
becomes of the old moons?” Says the Cogia. “How is it that you
don’t know a thing like that? They take those old moons and make
lightning of them, have you not seen them when the heaven
thunders, glittering like so many swords?” “Bravo, Fakeer,” said the
shepherd. “Well art thou acquainted with the matter, I had come to
the same conclusion myself.”

One day the Cogia’s wife, in order to plague the Cogia, boiled
some broth exceedingly hot, brought it into the room and placed it on
the table. The wife then, forgetting that it was hot, took a spoon and
put some into her mouth, and, scalding herself, began to shed tears.
“O, wife,” said the Cogia, “what is the matter with you; is the broth
hot?” “Dear Efendy,” said the wife, “my mother, who is now dead
loved broth very much; I thought of that, and wept on her account.”
The Cogia thinking that what she said was truth, took a spoonful of
the broth and burning his mouth began to cry and bellow. “What is
the matter with you,” said his wife; “why do you cry?” Said the Cogia,
“You cry because your mother is gone, but I cry because her
daughter is here.”

One day a man came to the house of the Cogia and asked him to
lend him his ass. “He is not at home,” replied the Cogia. But it so
happened that the ass began to bray within. “O Cogia Efendy,” said
the man, “you say that the ass is not at home, and there he is
braying within.” “What a strange fellow you are!” said the Cogia. “You
believe the ass, but will not believe a grey bearded man like me.”
 One day the Cogia roasted a goose, and set out in order to carry
it to the Emperor. On the way, feeling very hungry, he cut off one leg
and ate it. Coming into the presence of the Emperor, he placed the
goose before him. On seeing it, Tamerlank said to himself, “The
Cogia is making game of me,” and was very angry, and demanded,
“How happens it that this goose has but one foot?” Said the Cogia,
“In our country all the geese have only one foot. If you disbelieve me,
look at the geese by the side of that fountain.” Now at that time there
was a flock of geese by the rim of the fountain, all of whom were
standing on one leg. Timour instantly ordered that all the drummers
should at once play up; the drummers began to strike with their
sticks, and forthwith all the geese stood on both legs. On Timour
saying, “Don’t you see that they have two legs?” the Cogia replied,
“If you keep up that drumming you yourself will presently have four.”

One day the Cogia’s wife, having washed the Cogia’s kaftan,
hung it upon a tree to dry; the Cogia going out saw, as he supposed,
a man standing in the tree with his arms stretched out. Says the
Cogia to his wife, “O wife, go and fetch me my bow and arrow.” His
wife fetched and brought them to him; the Cogia taking an arrow,
shot it and pierced the kaftan and stretched it on the ground; then
returning, he made fast his door and lay down to sleep. Going out in
the morning he saw that what he had shot was his own kaftan;
thereupon, sitting down, he cried aloud, “O God, be thanked; if I had
been in it I should have certainly been killed.”

One day as the Cogia was going to his house, he met a number
of students, and said to them, “Gentlemen, pray this night come to
our house and taste a sup of the old father’s broth.” “Very good,”
said the students, and following the Cogia, came to the house. “Pray
enter,” said he, and brought them into the house, then going up to
where his wife was, “O wife,” said he, “I have brought some
travellers that we may give them a cup of broth.” “O master,” said his
wife, “is there oil in the house or rice, or have you brought any that
you wish to have broth?” “Bless me,” said the Cogia, “give me the
broth pan,” and snatching it up, he forthwith ran to where the
students were, and exclaimed, “Pray, pardon me gentlemen, but had
there been oil or rice in our house, this is the pan in which I would
have served the broth up to you.”
One day the Cogia going into a person’s garden climbed up into
an apricot tree and began to eat the apricots. The master coming
said, “Cogia, what are you doing here?” “Dear me,” said the Cogia,
“don’t you see that I am a nightingale sitting in the apricot tree?” Said
the gardener, “Let me hear you sing.” The Cogia began to warble.
Whereupon the other fell to laughing, and said: “Do you call that
singing?” “I am a Persian nightingale,” said the Cogia, “and Persian
nightingales sing in this manner.”

From The Book of Laughable Stories, collected by Gregory Bar

Hebræus in the thirteenth century. The collection includes some
seven hundred stories taken from the literary products of all the
Oriental countries available at that time.

Bazarjamhir said, “When thou dost not know which of two things
is the better for thee [to do], take counsel with thy wife and do the
opposite of that which she saith, for she will only counsel [thee to do]
the things which are injurious to thee.”
A certain woman saw Socrates as they were carrying him along to
crucify him, and she wept and said, “Woe is me, for they are about to
slay thee without having committed any offence.” And Socrates
made answer unto her, saying, “O foolish woman, wouldst thou have
me also commit some crime that I might be punished like a
criminal?”
 Alexander [the Great] saw among the soldiers of his army a man
called Alexander who continually took to flight in the time of war, and
he said to him, “It is said that upon the ring of Pythagoras there was
written, ‘The evil which is not perpetual is better than the good which
is not perpetual.’”

It is said that upon the ring of Pythagoras there was written, “The
evil which is not perpetual is better than the good which is not
perpetual.”
It was said to Socrates, “Which of the irrational animals is not
beautiful?” And he replied, “Woman,” referring to her folly.

Another of the sages said, “The members of a man’s household

are the moth of his money.”

A certain man who had once been a painter left off painting and
became a physician. And when it was said to him, “Why hast thou
done this?” he replied, “The errors [made] in painting [all] eyes see
and scrutinize; but the mistakes of the healing art the ground
covereth.”

Another king was asked by his sages, “To what limit hath thine
understanding reached?” And he replied, “To the extent that I believe
no man, neither do I put any confidence in any man whatsoever.”
 Another king said, “If men only knew how pleasant to me it is to
forgive faults there is not one of them who would not commit them.”

A poet said unto a certain avaricious man, “Why dost thou never
bid me to a feast with thee?” He replied to him, “Because thou eatest
very heartily indeed, besides thou swallowest so hurriedly; and whilst
thou art still eating one morsel thou art getting ready for the next.”
The poet said to him, “What wouldst thou have then? Wouldst thou
have me whilst I am eating one morsel to stand up and bow the
knee, and then take another?”

Another sage said, “I hold every man who saith that he hateth
riches to be a liar until he establisheth a sure proof thereof from what
he hath gathered together, and having established his belief it is, at
the same time, quite certain that he is a fool!”

Another miser whilst quarreling violently with his neighbour was

asked by a certain man, “Why art thou fighting with him?” He replied
to him, “I had eaten a roasted head, and I threw the bones outside
my door, so that my friends might rejoice and mine enemies be sorry
when they saw in what a luxurious manner I was living; and this
fellow rose up and took the bones and threw them before his own
door.”
 Another poet was questioned by a man concerning a certain
miser, saying, “Who eateth with him at his table?” and the poet
replied, “Flies.”

To a certain comedian it was said, “When a cock riseth up in the

early morning hours, why doth he hold one foot in the air?” He
replied, “If he should lift up both feet together he would fall down.”

Another actor went into his house and found a sieve laid upon his
couch, and he went and hung himself up on the peg in the wall. His
wife said to him, “What is this? Art thou possessed of a devil?” And
he said to her, “Nay, but when I saw the sieve in my place, I went to
its place.”

Another fool had two hunting dogs, one black and the other white.
And the governor said to him, “Give me one of them.” The man said
to him, “Which of them dost thou want?” and the governor said, “The
black one.” The man said, “The black one I love more than the
white,” and the governor replied, “Then give me the white one.” And
the foolish man said to him, “The white one I love more than both put
together.”

Another fool said, “My father went twice to Jerusalem, and there
did he die and was buried, but I do not know which time he died,
whether it was during the first visit or the last.”
 When another fool was told, “Thy ass is stolen,” he said, “Blessed
be God that I was not upon him.”
Another silly man buried some zûzê coins in the plain, and made
a fragment of a cloud a mark of the place where it was. And some
days after he came to carry away the money, but could not find the
place to do so, and he said, “Consider now; the zûzê were in the
ground, and they must have been carried away by some people. For
who can steal the cloud which is in the sky? And what arm could
reach there unto? This matter is one worthy to be wondered at.”

Another simpleton was asked, “How many days’ journey is it

between Aleppo and Damascus?” and he replied, “Twelve; six to go
and six to come back.”

Another silly man having gone on a journey to carry on his trade

wrote to his father, saying, “I have been ill with a very grievous
sickness, and if any one else had been in my place he would not
have been able to live.” And his father made him answer, saying,
“Believe me, my son, if thou hadst died thou wouldst have grieved
me sadly, and I would never have spoken to thee again in the whole
course of my life.”

A certain lunatic put on a skin cloak with the hairy side outwards,
and when people asked him why he did so, he replied, “If God had
known that it was better to have the hairy side of the skin cloak
inwards, He would not have created the wool on the outside of the
sheep.”
 Another fool owned a house together with some other folk, and he
said one day, “I want to sell the half of it which is my share and buy
the other half, so that the whole building may be mine.”

From earliest times the stupid or blundering fellow has been the
butt of his comrades’ shafts of wit or sarcasm.
The feeling of superiority, so delightful to the human mind, found
easy expression in jeering at the discomfiture of the noodle.
More often than not, noodle stories are told of residents of some
particular locality or district, whose people are looked upon as
simpletons. Doubtless this originally meant merely country people,
who were provincial or outlandish compared to the city bred.
But as the Greeks chose Bœotia for their noodle colony and the
Persians guyed the people of Emessa, so each country has had a
location or a community for its laughing stock down to the
Gothamites of the English.
As a rule the same noodle stories are found in many languages,
and only an exhaustive study of comparative folk lore can
adequately consider the various tales.
As an instance, there is the story, of Eastern origin, that may be
found in the booby tales of all nations. It has come down in late
years in the form of a play, called in a German version, “Der Tisch Ist
Gedeckt” and in an English form, “The Obstinate Family.”
In the Arabian tale,
A blockhead, having married his pretty cousin, gave the
customary feast to their relations and friends. When the festivities
were over, he conducted his guests to the door, and from absence of
mind neglected to shut it before returning to his wife. “Dear cousin,”
said his wife to him when they were alone, “go and shut the street
door.” “It would be strange indeed,” he replied, “if I did such a thing.
Am I just made a bridegroom, clothed in silk, wearing a shawl and a
dagger set with diamonds, and am I to go and shut the door? Why,
my dear, you are crazy. Go and shut it yourself.” “Oh, indeed!”
exclaimed the wife. “Am I, young, robed in a dress, with lace and
precious stones—am I to go and shut the street door? No, indeed! It
is you who are become crazy, and not I. Come, let us make a
bargain,” she continued; “and let the first who speaks go and fasten
the door.” “Agreed,” said the husband, and immediately he became
mute, and the wife too was silent, while they both sat down, dressed
as they were in their nuptial attire, looking at each other and seated
on opposite sofas. Thus they remained for two hours. Some thieves
happened to pass by, and seeing the door open, entered and laid
hold of whatever came to their hands. The silent couple heard
footsteps in the house, but opened not their mouths. The thieves
came into the room and saw them seated motionless and apparently
indifferent to all that might take place. They continued their pillage,
therefore, collecting together everything valuable, and even dragging
away the carpets from beneath them; they laid hands on the noodle
and his wife, taking from their persons every article of jewellery,
while they, in fear of losing the wager, said not a word. Having thus
cleared the house, the thieves departed quietly, but the pair
continued to sit, uttering not a syllable. Towards morning a police
officer came past on his tour of inspection, and seeing the door
open, walked in. After searching all the rooms and finding no person,
he entered their apartment, and inquired the meaning of what he
saw. Neither of them would condescend to reply. The officer became
angry, and ordered their heads to be cut off. The executioner’s sword
was about to perform its office, when the wife cried out, “Sir, he is my
husband. Do not kill him!” “Oh, oh,” exclaimed the husband,
overjoyed and clapping his hands, “you have lost the wager; go and
shut the door.” He then explained the whole affair to the police
officer, who shrugged his shoulders and went away.
Another story, known in a score of variants is found in a collection
of tales of the Kabaïl, Algeria, to this effect:
The mother of a youth of the Beni Jennad clan gave him a
hundred reals to buy a mule; so he went to market, and on his way
met a man carrying a water melon for sale. “How much for the
melon?” he asks. “What will you give?” says the man. “I have only
got a hundred reals,” answered the booby; “had I more, you should
have it.” “Well,” rejoined the man, “I’ll take them.” Then the youth
took the melon and handed over the money. “But tell me,” says he,
“will its young one be as green as it is?” “Doubtless,” answered the
man, “it will be green.” As the booby was going home, he allowed the
melon to roll down a slope before him. It burst on its way, when up
started a frightened hare. “Go to my house, young one,” he shouted.
“Surely a green animal has come out of it.” And when he got home,
he inquired of his mother if the young one had arrived.
Other stories of boobies or simpletons follow, taken here and
there from the enormous mass of humorous literature on this theme.
Yet noodles are not always witless fools.
The principle of the humor in such tales is merely and only the
superiority complex, that loves to laugh good naturedly or with a
contemptuous tolerance at the speech or actions of those less clever
than itself. It is the attitude of the cognoscenti toward,
“The lady from the provinces, who dresses like a guy,
Who doesn’t think she waltzes,—but would rather like to try,”

as W. S. Gilbert puts it.

One day some men were walking by the riverside, and came to a
place where the contrary currents caused the water to boil as in a
whirlpool. “See how the water boils!” says one. “If we had plenty of
oatmeal,” says another, “we might make enough porridge to serve all
the village for a month.” So it was resolved that part of them should
go to the village and fetch their oatmeal, which was soon brought
and thrown into the river. But there presently arose the question of
how they were to know when the porridge was ready. This difficulty
was overcome by the offer of one of the company to jump in, and it
was agreed that if he found it ready for use, he should signify the
same to his companions. The man jumped in, and found the water
deeper than he expected. Thrice he rose to the surface, but said
nothing. The others, impatient at his remaining so long silent, and