Interview Guidelines Nar Inq

PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
DISCOVERING GRAMMAR THROUGH EXTENSIVE READING:

A NARRATIVE INQUIRY INTO THE LIFE OF AN ENGLISH
LECTURER IN A NON-ENGLISH DEPARTMENT
TITLE PAGE
A Thesis Presented to
The Graduate Program in English Language Studies

in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements
for the Degree of
Magister Humaniora (M.Hum)
in
English Language Studies
By
Kurniawati Nur Fadhilah

176332007
Sanata Dharma University

Yogyakarta
January, 2020
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STATEMENT OF WORK’S ORIGINALITY
This is to certify that all ideas, phrases, sentences, unless otherwise stated,
are the ideas, phrases, and sentences of the thesis writer. The writer understands the
full consequences including degree cancellation if she took somebody’s ideas,
phrases, sentences without proper references.
Yogyakarta, January 10th, 2020
iv
LEMBAR PERNYATAAN PERSETUJUAN PUBLIKASI KARYA

ILMIAH UNTUK KEPENTINGAN AKADEMIS
Yang bertanda tangan dibawah ini, saya mahasiswa Ubiversitas Sanata Dharma:
Nama : Kurniawati Nur Fadhilah

NIM : 176332007
Demi pengembangan ilmu pengetahuan, saya memberikan kepada perpustakaan

Universitas Sanata Dharma karya ilmiah saya yang berjudul:
DISCOVERING GRAMMAR THROUGH EXTENSIVE READING: A

NARRATIVE INQUIRY INTO THE LIFE OF AN ENGLISH LECTURER
IN A NON-ENGLISH DEPARTMENT
Beserta perangkat yang diperlukan (bila ada). Dengan demikian, saya memberikan
kepada Perpustakaan Sanata Dharma hak untuk menyimpan, mengalihkan dalam
bentuk lain, mengelolanya dalam bentuk pangkalan data, mendistribusikannya di
Internet atau media lain untuk kepentingan akdemis tanpa perlu meminta ijin
maupun memberikan royalty kepada saya selama tetap mencantumkan nama saya
sebagai penulis.
Demikian pernyataan ini saya buat dengan sebenarnya.

Dibuat di Yogyakarta
Pada tanggal: 10 Januari 2020
Yang menyatakan
v
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
But they plan, and Allah plans. And Allah is the best of planners [QS. 08:30]
First and foremost, I would like to express my gratitude to Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala for it is only by His plan I could come to where I am now; receiving
valuable education at The Graduate Program of English Language Studies of Sanata
Dharma University. It was never without His grace that I could fulfill what I have
been planning. May His plan of enriching me with such valuable knowledge come
with the plan of me contributing myself to humankind.
Secondly, my gratitude has always been for all of the lecturers at The
Graduate Program of English Language Studies of Sanata Dharma University.
Especially to my thesis advisor, Bapak. FX. Mukarto, Ph.D., thank you so much for
guiding me from my first semester to the completion of this thesis. For your
guidance, constructive feedback, and motivation, I’ve learned a lot.
To Bapak Bismoko, Bapak Dr. B.B. Dwijatmoko,M.A, Bapak Paulus Sarwoto, Ph.
D., Ibu Dr. Novita Dewi , M.S, M.A (Hons), Ph.D, I could never thank you enough
for your insightful teachings. Thank you so much for being such inspiring
educators.
To my participant, my friend, and my college –Lanoke Intan Paradita- thank
you for giving me the honor to document your life. Thank you for opening the door
and letting me into your deepest thought and feeling. The life you have shared will
vi
hopefully reach more and more people so that someday we hopefully can see your
dream coming true; the time when reading can bring a smile to people.
To my husband, Uki, thank you for the endless patience dealing with my
temper each time stress taking me over. Thank you for bearing with your loneliness
for losing your life companion over a laptop screen and piles of books and papers.
Soon, the better days will come; inshaAllah.
To all of my colleges at LTC UMY, thank you for the understanding to spare
me some time off the office to pursue my education. To pak Tama, thank you for
supporting my academic life with your wise and thoughtful policy; allowing me to
juggle between work and study. To Bu Dais, my classmate and peer college, thank
you for being my academic, institutional, and personal consultant. Bless be upon
you for always bearing with my outburst. To NJ, my ‘partner in crime’, thank you
for being in charge while I’m away. Thank you for sharing the load with me. I
appreciate it a lot. To boss Luluk, thank you for the knowledge you shared during
our casual consultation. Stay positive and inspiring. To Bu Sita, the gemma of the
clan. Thank you for sharing the wisdom of life. To Bu Nurul, Pak Wendy,
and Pak Tor; thank you for the companionship. Thank you for allowing me some
slacks of job distribution to keep my sanity amidst the workload I’m struggling to
cope with.
Last but not least, thank you for all my 2017 batch friends. What a journey
that we have been taking. May we accomplish our respective goals by pursuing
higher education here at The Graduate Program of English Language Studies of
Sanata Dharma University. Let’s work together to achieve our dream and make
vii
betterment for our nation. When we see again in the future, let’s recall the time we
spent together here with a smile. Thank you for the discussion we have shared all
along.
Yogyakarta, January 2020
viii
TABLE OF CONTENTS
TITLE PAGE i
ADVISOR APPROVAL PAGE ii
THESIS DEFENSE APPROVAL PAGE iii
STATEMENT OF WORK’S ORIGINALITY iv
LEMBAR PERNYATAAN PERSETUJUAN PUBLIKASI KARYA ILMIAH UNTUK
KEPENTINGAN AKADEMIS v
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS vi
TABLE OF CONTENTS x
LIST OF TABLES x
LIST OF FIGURES xi
LIST OF PICTURES xii
ABSTRACT xiii
INTISARI xiv
CHAPTER I 1
BACKGROUND OF STUDY ............................................................................1
SITUATING THE STUDY IN THE EXISTING STUDIES CONTEXT ..........6
RESEARCH QUESTION .................................................................................10
RESEARCH BENEFIT .....................................................................................10
CHAPTER II 11
A. THEORETICAL REVIEW........................................................................11
1. Discovery Learning ...............................................................................11
2. Grammar Instructions ............................................................................14
3. Extensive Reading (ER) ........................................................................20
4. Narrative Inquiry ...................................................................................31
B. FRAMEWORK OF PRE-UNDERSTANDING ........................................41
CHAPTER III 44
A. RESEARCH METHOD.............................................................................44
B. RESEARCH DESIGN ...............................................................................46
1. Research Participant and Setting ...........................................................46
2. Nature and Source of the Data...............................................................47
3. Data Instrument .....................................................................................48
4. Data Gathering.......................................................................................51
C. DATA ANALYSIS ....................................................................................54
1. Recapitulating the told in the telling (Labov’s model). .........................56
2. Reconstructing the told from the telling (reordering a storyline). .........57
3. Imposing a told on the telling (identifying story pattern)......................58
x
xi
4. Making a telling from the told (inferring story). ...................................58

D. TRUSTWORTHINESS .............................................................................59
1. Credibility ..............................................................................................59
2. Dependability ........................................................................................60
3. Transferability .......................................................................................61
4. Confirmability .......................................................................................61
CHAPTER IV 64
E.The New Nest: The Oppression and the Detachment ................................64
1. Different branch, different wind ............................................................65
2. Wind of the new season .........................................................................70
F. The Fledgling and its First Flutters: The Beginning and the Planning ......81
1. Forays into the world .............................................................................82
2. As right as rain.......................................................................................87
G. Uphill Battle: Application and Challenges ................................................95
1. Bending the wind ...................................................................................96
2. By the osmosis .....................................................................................106
H. Finding true North: Reflection and Revisions .........................................117
CHAPTER V 123
A. AGENCY .................................................................................................124
1. Oppression ...........................................................................................124
2. Detachment ..........................................................................................127
3. Passion for reading ..............................................................................129
4. Professional Development ...................................................................131
B. GRAMMAR DISCOVERY.....................................................................134
1. Changing Perspective ..........................................................................134
2. ER Principles .......................................................................................136
C. REFLECTION .........................................................................................145
CHAPTER VI 149
A. IMPLICATIONS .....................................................................................150
1. ER implementation in a formal course ................................................150
2. Institutional Belonging ........................................................................151
3. Curriculum Compliance ......................................................................151
4. Building Awareness among Policymakers ..........................................152
B. RESEARCH DIFFICULTIES .................................................................152
C. LIMITATIONS AND SUGGESTIONS FOR THE FUTURE
RESEARCHER(S) ...............................................................................................154
REFERENCES 155
APPENDICES xvi
xi
LIST OF TABLES
Table 1. Initial Interview Guide …………………………………………………52
Table 2. Uke’s Conferences and Workshops in ER ……………………………..92
Table 3. ER principles and the activities ……………………………………….137
Table 4. Activities for grammar discovery ……………………………………..142
x
LIST OF FIGURES
Figure 1. The vicious circle of the weak reader …………………………………23
Figure 2. The virtuous circle of the good reader ………………………………...23
Figure 3. Hierarchy of experience ……………………………………………….40
Figure 4. Framework of Pre-understanding ……………………………………..43
Figure 5. Observation’s archival data & artifacts ……………………………….53
Figure 6. Modified Version of Mishler’s Typology: Methods and Narrative
Analysis ………………………………………………………………55
xi
LIST OF PICTURES
Picture 1. Uke’s cubicle …………………………………………………………65
Picture 2. Uke and Gayam 16 …………………………………………………...75
Picture 3. Uke and Aikido ………………………………………………………76
Picture 4. Happy English Days with Arts and Songs …………………………...87
Picture 5. Uke and 2019 IERA Roadshow ……………………………………...94
Picture 6. Reading Graded Readers ……………………………………………100
Picture 7. Reading Activity …………………………………………………….101
Picture 8. Membaca Bersama Library …………………………………………102
Picture 9. ER Gathering 1 ……………………………………………………...103
Picture 10. ER Gathering 2 …………………………………………………….105
Picture 11. Uke decided to combine explicit and implicit grammar instruction .111
xii
ABSTRACT
Kurniawati Nur Fadhilah (2020). Discovering Grammar through Extensive

Reading: A Narrative Inquiry into the Life of an English Lecturer in the Non-
English Department. Yogyakarta: The Graduate Program, English Language
Studies, Sanata Dharma University
In the decade of my teaching experience in both various levels of

educational institutions, I’ve been witnessing how English is still taught as a
declarative language in Indonesia. Instead of empowering learners to become
proficient in communication, most English classrooms are still teaching English as
the language itself. Although the curriculum has defined some sets of
communication objectives, those often failed to achieve. This study is then focusing
on narrating the lived experience of an English lecturer retaliating from the
obligation of teaching conventional grammar through the application of ten
Extensive Reading (ER) principles; as deemed more empowering.
This study was pure qualitative research of narrative inquiry focusing on an
English lecturer in the non-English Department at one private university in
Yogyakarta Indonesia. A single participant was recruited to allow a rich
biographical case study covering the comprehensive units of experience i.e. the
active and continual interaction of past, present, and future. Data were compiled
from two sessions of in-depth semi-structure interviews, eight classroom
observations, and some related artifacts -taken during the period of odd semester
2018/2019 academic year. Instead of reclaiming the effectiveness of ER which had
been affirmed by various previous studies, this biographical case study offers a
detailed practical guideline as an exemplary case for other teachers sharing the same
beliefs to implement a similar program.
The findings suggest the participant’s agency is equally constituted by four
intertwining themes; oppression, detachment, passion for reading, and professional
development appraisal. All of which signifies how ER meaningfully serves as
empowerment to self-actualize the participant’s own-self. In terms of practical
guidelines, the findings consistently evident the participant’s commitment to
promoting discovery grammar learning by incorporating the ten ER principles;
benefitting Graded Readers, Reading Log, and Classroom Readers. The challenges
regarding time allotment lead the participant to take a more feasible goal of
changing perspective toward reading and to adapt the grammar discovery by
combining both explicit and implicit instruction. As such, prompting the participant
to plan a syllabus revision for the upcoming academic year with less number of
reading activities to allow more emphasis on the grammar intake and more reading
exposure.
Keywords: lived experience, grammar, discovery learning, Extensive Reading,

biographical case study
xiii
INTISARI
Kurniawati Nur Fadhilah (2020). Discovering Grammar through Extensive

Reading: A Narrative Inquiry into the Life of an English Lecturer in the Non-
English Department. Yogyakarta: The Graduate Program, English Language
Studies, Sanata Dharma University
Dalam satu dekade pengalaman mengajar saya di beberapa jenjang institusi

pendidikan, saya telah menyaksikan bagaimana bahasa Inggris di Indonesia
seringkali masih diajarkan sebagai pengetahuan yang bersifat deklaratif. Alih-alih
memberdayakan pebelajar agar menguasai keahlian berkomunikasi, sebagian besar
kelas-kelas Bahasa Inggris masih mengajarkan bahasa Inggris sebagai sekadar
bahasa. Meskipun kurikulum telah menentukan beberapa tujuan komunikatif dalam
pembelajaran, tujuan-tujuan tersebut seringkali tidak tercapai. Menindaklanjuti hal
tersebut, penelitian ini terfokus pada menarasikan pengalaman hidup seorang
pengajar Bahasa Inggris yang memberontak dari kewajibannya mematuhi
kurikulum pengajaran tata bahasa secara konvensional dengan cara menerapkan
sepuluh prinsip Extensive Reading yang dianggap lebih memberdayakan.
Penelitian ini merupakan penelitian kualitatif murni berfokus pada pengajar
Bahasa Inggris di departemen non-Bahasa Inggris di salah satu universitas swasta
di Yogyakarta Indonesia. Dengan merekrut satu partisipan, biografi penelitian
kasus ini diharapkan dapat mencakup unit komprehensif dari pengalaman,
hubungan aktif dan keterkaitan antara masa lalu, masa sekarang, dan masa depan.
Data dikumpulkan melalui dua sesi wawancara mendalam, delapan observasi kelas,
dan beberapa artefak pendukung yang semuanya diambil selama periode semester
gasal tahun akademik 2018-2019. Alih-alih mengukuhkan kembali keefektifan ER
yang telah disajikan dalam berbagai penelitian terdahulu, biografi penelitian kasus
ini menyuguhkan panduan-panduan praktis yang detail sebagai percontohan kasus
bagi pengajar lain yang memiliki kepercayaan yang sama dalam mengaplikasikan
program yang tidak jauh beda.
Beberapa temuan mengindikasikan bahwa agency dari partisipan dibentuk
oleh empat tema yang saling terkait yaitu penindasan, penarikan diri, gairah dalam
membaca, serta penilaian pengembangan professional. Seluruh tema tersebut
menegaskan bahwa ER bermakna sebagai media pemberdaya bagi partisipan dalam
mengaktualisasikan dirinya. Dari segi panduan praktis, beberapa temuan
menunjukkan bukti yang konsisten akan komitmen partisipan dalam menerapkan
metode pembelajaran penemuan tata bahasa dengan cara menggabungkan sepuluh
prinsip ER dengan memanfaatkan Bacaan Berjenjang, Catatan Bacaan, dan Bacaan
Kelas. Tantangan-tantangan terkait jumlah alokasi waktu membuat partisipan
menyusun tujuan yang lebih mudah tercapai yakni mengubah cara pandang
terhadap membaca dan menyesuaikan proses pembelajaran penemuan dengan
menggabungkan instruksi eksplisit dan implisit. Hal tersebut mengawali rencana
partisipan untuk melakukan pembaruan silabus untuk tahun akademik berikutnya
dengan memasukkan lebih sedikit kegiatan sehingga memberikan ruang untuk lebih
menekankan perolehan tata bahasa dan lebih banyak paparan membaca.
xiv
xv
Kata kunci: pengalaman hidup, tata bahasa, pembelajaran penemuan, Extensive

Reading, biografi penelitian kasus.
xv
CHAPTER I
INTRODUCTION
This first chapter will start off my experience in understanding the topic of
the field by laying out the fundamental thought which underlies the study as well
as explaining why and how I finally come to the decision of conducting the study.
The discussion will fall into four subchapters to allow a more specific elaboration;
background of study in which I will elaborate the research concern or rationale and
the description of the topic, situating the study in existing studies in which I will
state the problem formulation along with the goal and the coverage of the study, the
research question, and lastly the benefit I am hoping to give by the completion of
the study.
BACKGROUND OF STUDY
It was back in 2009 to 2013 during my early career as an English teacher at
private senior and junior high school when I first came to the realization of our
seemingly lacking English teaching-learning classrooms in regards to the most
commonly practiced teaching methodology. Although the curriculum has defined
some sets of communication skills to be the objective of the lesson, I was witnessing
how those often failed to be achieved for various reasons. The two most frequently
encountered obstacles in the success of achieving these communication skills would
be the considerably excessive materials load and the lack of communication skills
English teachers have themselves. The number of materials to be delivered when
compared to the actual learners receptive didn’t allow the teacher to allocate
1
sufficient time to focus on practical skills but rather to focus more on ensuring the
comprehension of the necessary language features to be tested. Also, teachers tend
to deliver the materials declaratively as they themselves, ironically, found it
difficult to express themselves well in English. Thus, teachers frequently switch to
native language which will lead to long-chain cause and effect where learners
became less and less exposed to English, trained to none communicative skill, and
thus -even in the chances when teachers occasionally used English- learners would
have difficulties understanding it. Renandya (2018) seconds the idea of Indonesia’s
teachers having a lack of proficiency in English throughout his observation when
interacting with them. Although some were having excellent English, he claims that
most were in the lower intermediate range as in the B1-B2 levels of CEFR. He also
refers to Coleman (2009, p. 7) whose report on the English proficiency of
Indonesia’s RSBI (pioneer of international-based school) teachers –when tested
with TOEIC- resulted in an alarming figure;
More than half of all teachers and head teachers possess only a
‘novice’ proficiency level in English, scoring between 10 and 250
on a 990 point scale. A further 45% of teachers and head teachers
have an ‘elementary’ or ‘intermediate’ level of English. Only
0.7% of teachers and 0.2% of head teachers have an ‘advanced
working’ or ‘general professional’ level of proficiency in English.
As much as I was dazed reading the study, it is also enlightening for it has
shown us how such problem has been going on for quite a long period of time and
so it is not rare where we find students at tertiary education who are mastering the
language merely as passive receptive. With such conditions, it is impossible for us
as teachers to help our learners survive in the global competition of the 21st-century
era. How the education conducted should, therefore, be adapted to the current
context and needs in which our learners are now situated. To answer the challenge
of the 21st century, the essence of English -its role and application- has also
changed. Thereby in the classroom context, English should no longer be taught as
solely the language itself but more as efficient instructions to help our learners
proficient in what now called 21st-century skills i.e. communication, critical
thinking, creativity, and collaboration.
I am particularly intrigued about how communication skill is enforced in the
current English teaching-learning classroom. By communication, it means that
English teaching-learning should cover both oral and written communication in
which both are encouraged through integrating reading, writing, listening and
speaking. Whilst in the past English was first introduced to learners conventionally
using translation-based teaching, 21st English teaching-learning should aim more at
empowering learners toward the aforementioned communication skills. However,
due to unsupportive policy, there are many English teachers who are still struggling
for the cause; not only at the school level but is also up to tertiary level. As in the
University of Muhammadiyah Yogyakarta, the institution I am currently working
in, one of my colleagues whose home base is in a non-English department is battling
with her beliefs on English teaching and the curriculum she has to comply with.
Her commitment to implement the principles of Extensive Reading
(hereafter addressed as ER) on her Grammar class shows her dedication to teaching,
which at the same time also reflects a strong teaching idealism deserving an
overview. As others would likely give up upon the challenges and thus simply
‘follow the order’, her persistence has motivated me to write a narrative of her
insightful experience. As her commitment to ER surpasses her being marginalized
and oppressed by the curriculum, it has set out the significance of writing a narrative
inquiry to promote empathic understanding toward her beliefs, underlying
pedagogical decision-making, and challenges and outcomes she encounters while
settling with ER principles as grammar instruction. These have particularly
interested me since apart from acknowledging the beneficial impact of ER in
language acquisition, I have no such strong resistance to grammar teaching by the
considerably less intake I am afraid ER could give when applied in a formal
classroom. The way I personally view English in Indonesia is still particularly a
proficiency tested subject instead of a communication tool. English is required for
academic and professional certification, but still very rarely as a way of
communication. Thus, in the context of English in Indonesia, teaching grammar
might still seem to be the fastest route to enrich students with English testing
materials. However, having this doubt means I am not yet a true believer of ER -as
to how my participant is.
“You know ‘ke” as how I usually call my participant,
“The knowledge students get from ER is implicit and so they might be able to use it
without really knowing how and why theoretically”
“Which is okay” she interrupted.
“Yes, if it is for communication. But English in Indonesia is mostly for testing. And
they need to have better knowledge on it to do the test well” I told her my concern
after observing her class.
“That makes sense. But I know the knowledge will retain. I know, because I
experience it, and my students will also experience it.”
Further, I also received the same firm beliefs on ER by Renandya (2018) himself
during the Question and Answer session when I was attending his plenary
presentation “More than Just Words: Why Reading Matters in L2 Learning” held
during The 4th International Conference on English Language Teaching Materials
(2018).
“If I were you I would never be worried about that [ER, researcher addition],” his
answer is short but pierced me quite deeply.
“at all!” he emphasized it with a heavy tone while looking straight at me;
convincing me.
As referring to this thought, besides serving as in-depth exploration into the
participant’s life through my attempt of understanding her ways of understanding
her experience, this narrative inquiry would also at the same time become my
journey (Smith, Flowers, & Larkin, 2012); a journey to revisit my beliefs in
grammar teaching and ER. Subjectivity in narrating the participant’s experience
will thereby unavoidable for understanding her life and lived experience will
become my life experience of finding my own beliefs toward grammar teaching and
ER. As when committing on a narrative inquiry, the researchers should not merely
be a passive ‘recorder’ but should rather embody the intended experience to be
studied as his/her own exploration experience (Clandinin & Conelly, 2000).
Creswell (2013) also confirms the same idea when mentioning narrative inquiry as
the study in which the participant’s experiences told to the researcher is then
becoming the researcher’s experience through the collaboration process.

SITUATING THE STUDY IN THE EXISTING STUDIES CONTEXT
ER itself is no longer a novelty as numerous studies have repeatedly
strengthened its contribution toward language learning methodology (Morry, 2015;
Waring & McLean, 2015; Renandya, Rajan, & Jacobs, 1999). To illustrate the
prominent effect of the amount of time allocated for ER program, the experimental
research conducted by Khansir & Dehgani (2015) is worth a review. They
empirically prove the significant improvement of their Iranian students’ grammar
mastery when contrasting the traditional grammar teaching method to ER. The
result “suggests a significant superiority of the scores of the experimental group
over those of control group” (Khansir & Dehgani, 2015, p. 1514) in all of the
targeted grammatical aspects; simple past tense, object pronoun, adverbs of
frequency and determiners. This appealing result is obtained through 45 days long
program with 3 sessions per week of 75 minutes in each session; equal to 3.375
minutes in total. In comparison, participant’s grammar class is conducted for 16
meetings with 1 session per week of 100 minutes in each session; equal to 1.600
minutes in total and is consisted of heterogonous students. As seen, the time
allocation falls very significantly in frequency that to expect the same result will be
very unlikely. This has also been my biggest question when initially thought of
writing this narrative; how to compensate with all of these to ensure the benefit of
ER on improving students’ grammar mastery?
Prompted by this concern, I find it significant to take a closer look at the
practical process of how the teacher implements the program which will serve a
different perspective from other previous related studies. Most studies highlight the
effectiveness and efficiency of certain grammar teaching without referring to the
details actual and practical implementation process, which thus tend to be product-
oriented rather than process-oriented. Zarifi and Taghavi (2016) for example
conducted a quasi-experimental study on 50 Iranian EFL Learners with Oxford
English Language Placement Test (OELPT, 2009) score ranging from 40-60 (out
of 100) divided evenly into the control group and experimental group in which both
were given the same materials on some grammatical points. When compared with
the pre-test, the post-test score from the experimental group outperformed the
control group and thus affirms the significant effect given by cooperative learning
in teaching grammar. The more recent study by Hasemi and Daneshfar (2018)
further focuses on evaluating and measuring the efficiency of three grammar
instructions; deductive technique, inductive technique, and implicit technique. Of
all the treatments given, the result showed that the group treated with inductive
instruction topped the other two groups in all of those three instruments used. This
finding suggests that inductive instruction is the most impactful instruction among
the other two in improving grammar mastery.
Whilst both studies put the emphasis on confirming the effectiveness and
efficiency of a particular grammar teaching methodology, my study of narrative
inquiry will address a similar topic area from a rather different angle. Through those
two experimental studies, inductive instruction and cooperative learning –which
share no contrary principles with ER- have been empirically proven to be beneficial
in improving learners’ grammar mastery. However, as being intended as research
instead of a formal course, both don’t provide any practical guide on how to
replicate the success of the program when applied to formal classrooms. Therefore,
instead of once again reconfirming the effectiveness of ER to boost learners’
grammar mastery, I am more drawn to narrate the journey of the participant in
implementing ER principles along with all challenges and drawbacks she copes in
hope of providing deeper understanding on why and how the participant decides to
conduct the class which in turn is expected to inspire more teachers to apply and/or
experiment with the same or similar project. After all, as referring to Larsen-
Freeman’s (2015, p. 263) review of SLA Applied Linguistic research on grammar
learning and teaching i.e. as has little impact (non-interface), modest impact (form-
focused instruction), potentially have large impact (reconceiving grammar); of all
the three categories “not much second language acquisition or applied linguistic
research on grammar has made its way into the classroom”. This is particularly due
to the diversity of the nature of each language learning classroom and that there has
been a wide difference between the research and what has been actually done by
teachers inside the classroom. Researcher and teacher must find way(s) of reducing
the distance to achieve the same success as resulted through research. Research
should then be seen not as an end goal but rather be benefited to “challenge teachers
to think differently, to experiment with new practices, and to help them make tacit
explicit by cultivating new ways of talking about their practice” (Larsen-Freeman,
2015, p. 274). In other words, research findings may not always be applicable to
pedagogy and so what more important is not to know which approach or instruction
works better, but how to apply and contextualize it based on the uniqueness of each
individual classroom. With this Narrative inquiry, I hereby document and narrate
the experience of English lecturer in experimenting with research results in her
classroom pedagogy as a way of navigating the distance between research results
and grammar teaching practice. This narrative inquiry is purposefully written to
provide an empathic understanding toward the mind of English lecturer in a non-
English department who holds her ideal beliefs in implementing the principle of ER
as her grammar instruction despite challenges she encounters. Understanding her
mind will bring valuable insight toward the justification of implementing ER for
improving grammar mastery including the detailed elaboration of the mind map to
recognize the fundamental aspects of the decision i.e. beliefs, lived and life (told)
experience and passion. Further, structuring the experiences will open a door into
her life allowing a share of experience on practical examples of implementing the
principles of ER as grammar instruction; at how she compensates the drawbacks
without having to deviate from the principles of ER. Thus, this study makes it
possible for anyone interested in a similar topic area to learn by experiencing her
life without having to live the life itself. As my focus is to narrate these structures
of experience elaborately, I will skip the measurement of the efficiency of the
instruction implemented toward the program; and rather will stop at understanding
and structuring the lived and life (told) experience of the participant in her
dedication toward improving her students’ grammar mastery. By providing no
efficiency measurement, this narrative inquiry serves as complementary for its
previous studies for their lack of practical guidelines.

10
RESEARCH QUESTION
This study narrates the experiences of a teacher who is committed to the
implementation of principles of ER to help increase the grammar mastery of her
non-English department students which involves her beliefs, pedagogical decision-
making, classroom interaction and communication, challenges and outcomes. The
narrative explores the following question:
How is the experience of an English teacher in a non-English department in
implementing ER principles as grammar teaching instruction like?
RESEARCH BENEFIT
By the completion of this narrative inquiry study on a teacher who
implements ER principle as her grammar instruction, I am hoping to bring a benefit
to several parties such as the institution, teacher, and future researcher. For an
institution which holds the authority of making policy, the narrative is beneficial
for serving as a reference in developing program, especially one that aims at
developing grammar mastery in accordance to the current context of the 21st century
English teaching-learning. Teacher, similarly, may gain benefits from the narrative
through the detailed explanation and practical guidelines by carefully modeling the
methodology of the ER implementation, or else to experiment with other similar
instruction. Lastly, the future researcher could find the narrative helpful in a way
that it lies a foundation toward some new areas for further analysis, such as the
efficiency of the program and or learners’ perspective toward the program.

CHAPTER II
LITERATURE REVIEW
In this chapter, I would first clarify all the terms related to my study through
the first subchapter of theoretical review and later move to the second subchapter
of the framework of pre-understanding to discuss how those theories are applied
and relate to my study scope.
A. THEORETICAL REVIEW
Here, I would break down the construct of my research title to avoid
misleading interpretation. All of which will respectively be discussed under its own
section. Discovery learning is the first discussion for it is what has been the
underlying background of the teaching-learning process encouraged by the
participant. Grammar instruction and ER are what follow after I finished with
discovery learning. Both are where the study epicenter lies on, and so I am hoping
that the elaboration I provide will suffice the fundamental assumption toward the
participant’s beliefs. Lastly, I would also lay out the philosophical and
epistemological theory on narrative inquiry to promote more understanding of the
nature of the research.
1. Discovery Learning
As to how 21st-century skill induces critical thinking, discovery learning
promotes learners' engagement to explore the given materials in order to discover
the intended input by themselves. By given materials, it means that the teacher’s
role is still significant in assisting the acquisition. Without instructional materials
11
12
from the teacher, the discovery is deemed inefficient since learners will gain less
knowledge (Joolingen & Ton , 1997). For this, discovery learning is also known as
guided discovery learning where the teacher initiates the learning process by
presenting learners with a problem to be solved and advocating the problem-solving
progress throughout the learners’ gradual knowledge (Janssen, Westbroek, & van
Driel, 2014). It often also involves learners to independently find the information
by reading, discussing the topic with their peers, and observing other sources. This
way, learners contribute more during the teaching-learning process and thus
experience how the knowledge is being constructed. In other words, the knowledge
learners retain through the methods is thus acquired along with their hands-on
practice rather than delivered and offered by the teacher and thereby tends to be
gained unconsciously.
Robinson (1994) when commenting on Ellis’ strong argument to claim that
cognitive psychology put the distinction between explicit and implicit knowledge
emphasizes implicit knowledge is that of unconsciously acquired whilst explicit
knowledge results during conscious state of mind. Referring to this, she further
adds that the former one is based on one’s intuition and thereby can’t be analyzed,
whilst the latter one is based on one’s awareness which consequently is possible to
be analyzed. In my research scope, the participant wishes to provide grammar
instruction through implicit knowledge rather than explicit knowledge. It is then
challenging for the limited time participant has will cause limited exposure from
which students can acquire grammar mastery. Hence, disrupting the expected
outcome of the implicit knowledge through ER by enforcing explicit knowledge

13
through declarative knowledge might be a feasible solution. In this case, the teacher
is once again acting as a facilitator to guide students to discover the expected
grammatical aspects and replicate the -what supposed to be- natural discovery.
However, the arguments toward whether or not explicit knowledge may transform
into implicit knowledge vary.
a. Non-interface position
Krashen (1981) with his theory on non-interface position believes that
explicit knowledge can never transform into implicit knowledge for these two types
of knowledge are located in different parts of our brain; storage and mental process
respectively. It is evident when there are cases of learning that occur with no formal
instruction, and when a particular learner with considerably high proficiency is not
able to produce language fluently.
b. Strong interface position
Different from Krashen’s non-interface position, the interface position is
divided into two beliefs; strong position and weak position. In a strong interface
position (Keyser, 1998), explicit knowledge can turn to implicit knowledge
through numerous practices. The practice provides opportunities for learners
producing the language explicitly, which in times will be internalized and transform
into implicit knowledge.
c. Weak interface position
Lastly, a weak interface position (Ellis R. , 1993) suggests that explicit
knowledge can’t directly transform into implicit knowledge. The transformation of
the knowledge should be assisted throughout the teaching-learning process. The

14
provision of explicit instruction can indeed increase awareness and consciousness
to recognize the inputs. The more explicit exposures learners receive, the more they
will be aware of the knowledge; which will eventually bring higher chances for the
explicit knowledge transforming into implicit knowledge.
2. Grammar Instructions
Jackson (1985) claims that the word grammar is originated from the Greek
word gramma which means ‘letter’; it is then traditionally referred to the study of
literature and language. However, over the past centuries, the view of grammar has
developed from being prescriptive into descriptive. What was then considered
prescriptively as a necessary means of sustaining the merit of language production,
grammar is recently viewed descriptively as an approach toward the systematic
study of linguistics (Garner, 1989). The objection toward the prescriptive definition
of grammar lies on the assumption that when said to be the rules to produce
language, it also means that the rules must have been created in the first place before
the language itself spoken; which is not the case. Language initiated when people
are interacting by first making sounds, words, phrases and eventually sentences.
Grammar is then best referred to the description of linguistic competence which
helps to understand “the nature of language … and in particular, the internalized,
unconscious set of rules that is part of every grammar of every language” (Fromkin,
Rodman, & Hyams, 2003, p. 14) which thereby includes all aspects of linguistic
knowledge signifying one’s linguistic competence; i.e. phonology, semantics,
morphology, syntax, and lexicon. As such, grammar deals more on how to describe
15
the structural pattern of those aforementioned aspects which also configures the
language meaning constraints (Larsen-Freeman, 2001).
a. Issues on grammar teaching
Having been aware of what grammar constitutes of, it is then fundamental
for my research’s scope to discuss whether or not grammar is necessary to be taught.
Following Krashen’s (1981) hypothesis which argues that learners can develop
their language competence based on their built-in syllabus when exposed to
comprehension input, why should then teaching grammar be necessary? The
hypothesis suggests that as language is better acquired through natural exposure,
teaching grammar would result in mere declarative knowledge. L2 learners should
acquire language the same way as L1 learners to secure the knowledge implicitly;
that is outside formal instruction. However, as grammar has always been a
prominent issue when discussing language acquisition, counter-arguments to
challenge the idea are also proposed by many scholars. Nassaji and Fotos (2004, p.
137), for example, review both supporting and against arguments on grammar
teaching and refute the idea by concluding that “grammar feedback is necessary in
order for language learners to attain high levels of proficiency in the target
language” for these following reasons;
1) Conscious attention to form
Although L1 learners indeed acquire language through a natural process
under their unconsciousness, the theory suggesting L2 learners acquire language
with the same process needs to be evaluated. When learners are more aware of the
learning, they will give more attention to the process taking in place. Consequently,
16
they will focus more on the form and gain more intakes compare with when they
are unaware of the learning process. Moreover, Tomasello (1998) suggests that it is
very unlikely that learners can simultaneously engage themselves in corresponding
both meaning and form of the presented inputs. In the condition when learners are
not aware of the intended inputs, they will tend to focus more on meaning and often
neglect the form. The failure of recognizing the input hence leads to an absent
acquisition.
2) Teachability hypothesis
The hypothesis developed by Pienemann (1999) posits positive evidence of
language acquisition within developmental sequences. Although certain grammar -
as in universal grammar and built-in syllabus- may not be resulted from grammar
instruction, it is also possible to interrupt the developmental process depending on
the learners’ readiness to progress from the former to the later phase. According to
the hypothesis, grammar instruction can assist the learner to fast-forward the
developmental process.
3) The inadequacy of meaning-focused communication
When grammar is not specifically addressed, language acquisition is
deemed to be less adequate for it attends only to its meaning and neglects the form.
Although focusing on meaning serves an effective approach toward meaningful use
of language, a well-rounded communication should also bear higher accuracy;
trough which provided by grammar instruction.

17
4) Positive effects of grammar instruction
As all the previous reasons are more likely to be arguments, Nassaji and
Foto also suffice their claim through some previous studies on the contribution of
grammar instruction toward language learning and come with some important
findings; grammar instruction provides corrective feedbacks toward errors possibly
occurred inside and outside formal classroom, grammar instruction has helped
improved learners’ accuracy closer to that of the ultimate level of L2 instruction,
and lastly, although being explicit the knowledge gained from grammar instruction
proved to be well-retained by learners.
Adding the long list of positive effects given by Nassaji and Fotos, Ellis
(2006) also guarantees the empirical evidence on the benefit of providing grammar
instruction for language learners when reviewing the use of both naturalistic and
instructed learning. In all studies she cited (e.g. Pica, 1983; Long, 1983, White,
Spada, Lightbown, & Ranta, 1991), it has resulted that “the acquisitional processes
of instructed and naturalistic learning were the same but that instructed learners
progressed more rapidly and achieved higher levels of proficiency”. This finding
indicates that despite the compatibility of implicit and explicit knowledge resulted
from natural exposure and formal instruction, grammar instruction is to some extent
beneficial in promoting and even more in progressing the acquisition process. Thus,
although some disputes on the necessity of grammar instruction have still been
prevalent until recently, more efforts should have been devoted toward the
constitution of how to provide learners with the best possible way of presenting
18
grammar instruction than prolonging the diverse argument on the role of grammar
within language acquisition.
b. Approaches to grammar teaching
Stepping back when I mentioned my concern on how English is particularly
viewed in Indonesia context as more of a testing tool rather than a communication
tool, more teachers of school and education institutions include grammar instruction
to ‘standardize’ their students at certain points of proficiency level. On the other
side, for knowing that grammar plays a significant role in developing accuracy and
fluency in all aspects of language production, there would probably no learner who
refuses the significance of grammar. However, ironically there would probably
many who would agree on how demotivating a grammar teaching could be. Lewis
(1986) once made such a controversial statement that “In many ways language
teachers are the worst possible to teach languages.” This assumption might
probably arise as teachers tend to become more driven on maximizing the
acquisition rather than emphasizing the learning process itself. He further claims
that grammar teaching should not be considered as merely a teacher explaining
linguistic knowledge but also facilitating learners exploring it. It is not necessary
that the teacher gives such a lengthy explanation on every grammatical aspect since
better acquisition will likely result from learners’ active participation in discovering
the rules themselves. The teacher’s role is thus shifting from the party declaring the
knowledge to the facilitator of the discovery. Grammar instruction has since been
evolving from being explained into being explored;

19
1) Traditional grammar teaching
It is indeed evident that by grammar instruction, many EFL learners are able
to explain some grammatical points better than the natives themselves. This
particularly also the underlying motivation for those who strongly believe in
traditional grammar instruction. The grammar-translation method has been the most
widespread traditional grammar teaching practiced and thus is considered to bring
the prominence of explicit grammar toward language teaching-learning. Employing
the method involves memorizing some useful vocabulary lists to enable learners to
respond to grammatical analysis and L1 to L2 written translation which are the
dominant characteristics of the teaching-learning process (Rutherford, 1987).
However, apart from the significance it covers, Hashemi and Daneshfar (2018)
believe it is less ideal to implement for two reasons. First of all, the method is said
to be so teacher-centered that it will likely lead learners to disengage from the
activity. Another reason is that when the teacher overpowers the learning process,
learners become passive and thus could affect their confidence and in a worse
situation could also trigger a feeling of fear for grammar learning (Chang, 2011).
2) Deductive technique
As in deductive reasoning, deductive grammar instruction starts off by
explicitly presenting the principles, concepts or theories first before moving on to
applying the given grammatical points in practice. Many language course books are
still adopting this gradual procedure. By doing so, learners are guided to undergo
each phase in hope of preparing and setting their readiness. Once the rules are
comprehended, some examples or adapted examples are presented for them to break
20
down. Using the deductive method will help learners overcome their fear of making
errors when attempting to use the language. The method also beneficial for it gives
more focus on the form first and engagement on the function and meaning later.
3) Inductive Technique
In contrast with deductive, inductive instruction begin the learning process
by providing learners with examples of the language use followed by stimulating
them to discover the grammar themselves. Using this method, learners are asked to
use their reasoning ability in recognizing the intended grammatical structures and
patterns. It is believed that the linguistic knowledge learners acquired through
inductive instruction would be preserved better than when given deductively. In
brief, inductive instruction signifies that grammar teaching should aim at assisting
learners in achieving linguistic competence to effectively communicate in broad
discourses rather than to teach learners the grammar itself.
3. Extensive Reading (ER)
Being more aware of the power of reading, there have been many commonly
agreed-upon implications related to reading instruction. In regard to this, ER is then
receiving more acknowledgment for its benefits in improving learners’ proficiency.
Drawing conclusion from various preceding researches, Renandya, and Jacobs
(2016, p. 99) affirm that;
ER involves L2 students reading large amounts of motivating

and engaging materials which are linguistically appropriate over
a period of time where they read with a reasonable speed for
general understanding, with a focus on meaning rather than form.
21
The above definition suggests that in implementing ER, there should be
three elements involved in consideration; the amount of reading, focus on meaning
and general understanding, faster reading rate. Before further discussion, it is
crucial to first clearly distinct ER to intensive reading. In intensive reading, learners
read purposefully to find new words or some grammar patterns which often are
supplemented by pre and post-reading skills and comprehension questions.
Whereas in extensive reading, learners read out of their enjoyment; they read to
practice the reading skill to gain information from their preferred text or book. To
sum up the former refers to ‘learning to read’ while the latter refers to ‘reading to
learn’. Hence, in extensive reading learners are unaware of the learning process they
undergo and so are expected to grow a better attitude on reading.
a. How learners benefit from extensive reading?
The experiment conducted by Vera N. Thomas in 1938 can be said as the
“embryo” of ER practice. In her research, Thomas provided a long list carefully
selected books of a wide range of difficulty and type to twenty-four hundred pupils
of Minneapolis senior high school whose mother tongue is mostly foreign language.
The experiment resulted positively toward learners’ overall English proficiency
despite the fact that Thomas can’t provide any proof of scientific results for the
findings due to the very limited material availability during 1934-1935 when the
experimental research began. Nevertheless, it was evident that throughout the
program learners had shown different attitudes toward reading; “Our results are
intangible so far –results expressed in attitudes rather than in concrete facts”

22
(Thomas, 1938, p. 578). The findings are highly satisfactory as from the testimony
of teachers regarding pupils’ accomplishment;
… Grade XII B low group … have read from twenty to fifty-five

books, an average of thirty-two each … A teacher, she greeted
me with something like this, "I've never been so thrilled in all
my years of teaching." A boy in the top group had handed in
seven critical reviews which she felt were superior to anything
she or many educated adults could write. … "Students in English
S5 who have come up under the new curriculum express a real
fondness for English, keep painstaking notes, show an eager
readiness to go before the class and talk, read many books of
good quality, and do quite satisfactory theme work."
This experiment is significant for it had encouraged the implementation of ER in
junior high schools, senior high schools, and colleges in the US since then.
To answer the doubt due to the lack of empirical data suggested by Thomas,
more recent experiment of Extensive Reading in English as Foreign Language by
Adolescents and Young Adults: A Meta-Analysis suggests a “strong and consistent
positive effect for both test of reading comprehension and cloze tests” (Krashen S.
, 2007, p. 23). Focusing on EFL learners as the object of the research ensures the
effectiveness of the program since access to English outside the classroom is very
limited. Two goals were set for the research; those are to determine the effect of
free reading and to determine contributing factors to the effect. As the former goal
has been addressed earlier, the result is so clear that ER consistently gives a positive
effect. Whilst for the second goal, it is access that gives a strong impact on the
success of the program. The more learners are provided titles of books, the bigger
the effect size of the result is; meaning that when given more exposure through
reading, learners’ proficiency will naturally increase. In addition to Krashen’s

23
research, joint research of The Language Learning Benefits of Extensive Reading:
Teachers Should Be Good Role Models was conducted in 2009. Applied to 40
levels one student from UiTM Dungun Malaysia, the research indicated that
“extensive reading does seem to make a difference in the proficiency level of the
students” (Krishnan G. , et al., 2009, p. 107). The result of this research was
compared to the one by Bell (1998) and both share similar findings that increasing
the exposure level through ER helps to enhance learner’s general language
competence.
Now that ER is scientifically proven to be beneficial for the overall increase
in learners’ proficiency, in what particular area can this development be observed
and measured? Renandya and Jacobs (2016) meticulously break down the benefits
into seven particular areas; (i) vocabulary development, (ii) TL grammar mastery,
(iii) fast-rate reading, (iv) broad insight, (v) confidence and motivation, (vi) positive
attitudes toward reading, and lastly (vii) healthy reading habit. In a broader aspect,
the very last output will be breaking the cycle of frustration and promoting the cycle
of growth in reading.
Doesn't Read Enjoys

Reads faster
understand slowly reading
Doesn't
Doesn't Understand
enjoy Reads more
read much better
reading
Figure 1. The vicious circle of the weak Figure 2. The virtuous circle of the good
reader, by Nuttal (2005, P. 127) reader, by Nuttal (2005, P. 127)
24
b. What strategies and activities should teachers assist learners with?
Despite the aforementioned benefits, learners will achieve less without
adequate assistance from the teacher. Before urging students’ autonomy during the
program, firstly and foremost committed teacher is highly required to contribute to
bigger success. A teacher must consider the principles of implementing ER to
employ strategies and plan activities to help learners maximizing the benefits.
Bamford and Day (2004) list 10 principles of extensive reading; (i) the reading
material is easy, (ii) a variety of reading material on a wide range of topics is
available, (iii) learners choose what they want to read, (iv) learners read as much as
possible, (v) reading speed is usually faster rather than slower, (vi) the purpose of
reading is related to pleasure, information, and general understanding, (vii) reading
is individual and silent, (viii) reading is its own reward, (ix) teacher orients and
guides the students, (x) teacher is a role model of a reader.
A teacher should notice these principles as a guideline in designing activities
to assist learners. In the following section, the benefits (i-v) will be taken as the
objective for respective activities and benefits (vi-vii) will be taken as the overall
goal of the program; whereas the principles –which later are addressed as P1. , P2.
and so on- will be used to control whether or not the activities are appropriate for
ER classroom. All activities proposed are compiled and/or modified from Bamford
and Day (2004), Nuttal (2005), and Spargo (2002).

25
1) Enhancing vocabulary development
“An extensive reading programme is the single most effective way of
improving vocabulary” (Nuttall, 2005, p. 62). Nevertheless, large quantities of
reading -moreover on a lengthy period of time- will exhaust learners. Therefore,
learners should read in accordance with their linguistics competence and gradually
move to a higher level. As vocabulary knowledge is the key to comprehend a text,
learners must recognize most of the vocabularies without consulting a dictionary –
as to how the nature of ER is referring to P1. The percentage of familiar
vocabularies out of the unfamiliar ones should be at least 95% of the whole text
(Laufer, 1989) and/or 98% (Nation, 2001) so that learners will read more easily and
in turn their comprehension level increases. Similarly, if the text is intended as the
input to stimulate learners’ interest in developing a reading habit, Krashen (1985)
proposes a formula of “i+1” indicating that the linguistics competence of the text
should only be slightly beyond learners level. Especially in EFL/ESL classrooms,
the teacher will probably find it difficult to provide authentic yet appropriate
reading text. Living in a very developed technology era, fortunately, gives us access
to valuable sources to consult regarding this issue, such as www.ercentral.com ,
www.readWorks.org, and/or www.extensivereading.net which provide abundant
free sources depending on learners’ linguistic competence.
A question remains; if the text is considerably easy for learners how can
they gain as many as new vocabulary? Besides providing level-appropriate
materials, it is also necessary to adapt a text to meet the objective of the lesson.
Simplifying the syntax of reading materials can be an active strategy to improve

26
comprehension. To make sure learners acquire new vocabularies while reading an
easy text, the teacher can adapt it to exploit the morphology of one base word by
providing more of its variation using prefixes/affixes/suffixes, and its conjugation.
After reading, the teacher may assist learners (P9.) with a worksheet that includes
some set of sentences. One is taken from the book they read; containing one
variation of the baseword printed in italic. The second sentence on each set is the
paraphrased sentence containing a clue for other variation words to be completed
(e.g. educate-education, varied-variation, etc.).
2) Gaining a better grasp of TL grammar
Grammar is the rule we use when we communicate through language. It is
in every sentence we listen, utter, write, and read. Thus understanding grammar is
crucial to indicate one’s proficiency. In the grammar-translation method, learners
are taught of grammatical rules and asked to translate sentences applying the
learned rules and so learners mostly find it monotonous. Through ER, learners are
exposed to more variety sentence structures over and over and eventually are able
to instinctively recognize the pattern without being formally introduced to it. “… in
reading lesson we are not setting out to teach language; alternatively, if we are
setting out to teach language, we are not giving a reading lesson.” (Nuttall, 2005, p.
171). Applying P2. And P3. to build a fun atmosphere in reading, the teacher is best
to provide learners with the varied genres to freely read based on their preference.
As funding is often become a classic hindrance in realizing this, the two previously
mentioned resources websites are greatly useful for not only listing their materials
in level but are also classifying them in genres. Others may also consider holding
27
fundraising; asking for support from the local community, whom our learners
presumably belong to, to provide resources and at the same time promoting
awareness toward the importance of ER.
Once the provision of materials settled, learners can be asked to read one
genre book and read aloud one paragraph they think as the most interesting part; it
can be the most inspiring quote, memorable scene, shocking information, etc
depending on their respective genre. Here lies the significance of providing a varied
genre. Having read a certain genre, learners will most likely share the same sentence
pattern. For example, those who read narrative will highly share sentences in the
past tense, those in informative will share sentences in the present tense, and so on.
In turn, all genres and sentences will be read and all are exposed to more sentence
patterns apart from what they have read. Moreover, although it seems as light and
trivial activity, reading aloud -also known as oral reading- can be used to assess
learners’ comprehension level. Using incorrect intonation indicates an error in
putting punctuation and is a sign of comprehension problems. Similarly, reading in
word-by-word intonation also indicates a lack of comprehension. Thus, y asking
students to read aloud, the teacher can monitor and assess their comprehension.
3) Being able to read at a faster rate
Before setting faster-rate reading as objective, it is recommended that
teacher evaluates learners’ comprehension level through oral reading in several
previous activities. The higher the learners’ comprehension level is, the faster their
reading pace is. When learners’ vocabulary recognition is improved, it won’t take
much time to scan and skim through a text since they have already been familiar
28
with many vocabularies and is able to recognize the words at glance. In contrast,
when encountering unfamiliar word learners will pause to comprehend and guess
the meaning through context and hence consuming more time. To train learners’
reading rate (P5.), Sustained Silent Reading (SSR) or Drop Everything and Read
(DEAR) can be implemented. Learners are given some allocated time to read on
their own during class (P7.) without interruption. To promote a good reading
environment, the teacher acts as a role model by exemplifying and participating in
the session (P10.). When learners are familiar with SSR and are engaging
themselves conductively, teacher can proceed with time-repeated and paced-
reading. Learners read the same material three times for a minute each with a
teacher’s guidance (P9.). On the first time they read at a comfortable speed and
when time is up, ask them to write number 1 on the last word they read. On the
second reading, ask them to write number 2 on the last word they read, and write
number 3 after the third reading. In most cases, learners will progress to several
more words or lines on the last chance. This simple technique gives a simple
illustration of how practicing reading will increase the reading rate. When learners
can grasp the idea, include a timer to target their rate. Using approximate words
count from previous activity, ask them to set their own target at how many words
or lines they should finish reading at one-minute intervals. This allows learners to
adjust and recognize their reading rate, and know where to start improving their
rate.
29
4) Becoming more knowledgeable about many different topics
In ER, learners are not restricted to read in certain numbers at the end of the
program for it highly depends on their reading rate. As learners read from many
sources from various topics out of their own interest as much as possible (P4.), it is
only natural that they will gain wider insight; provided that learners read efficiently.
Reading efficiently means knowing what we want from reading, choosing the right
material, using the text efficiently (Nuttall, 2005). In brief, learners need to be
directed to focus on information and general understanding (P6.) to fully
comprehend the text at a faster rate. Identifying the main idea is, therefore,
becoming the key to grasping the general point of the book; once learners
recognized the main idea, other specific information will click into its place. To
retain the unconscious learning process in ER, learners should not necessarily be
informed to find the main idea of the book. Rather, they can be asked to share the
book they read to the class by writing a one-sentence summary. For the first time,
learners will find it easy just to make one sentence. However, they will later realize
that describing a book in one sentence is rather difficult. Thus teachers should help
learners (P9.) deciding on; what is the most important point of the book, reduce
those important points to key points, write sentence and check the key parts. For
higher-level classes, additional requirements such as minimum words in the
sentence can be given; or combining the summary with poster drawn by learners
themselves. What they draw should depict the key points they write and since this
is not art class, picture is used just for fun not to be assessed. When this is practiced
30
every time learners finished reading one book, gradually they will be more
knowledgeable and are encouraged to read on more topics.
5) Developing higher confidence and motivation
At this rate, learners are expected to already develop interests in reading or
to the contrary start to enter a declining phase of boredom. Thus, assisting them
with fun and creative activity will increase their interest and others will re-boost
their motivation. As teachers should keep records of all books learners have read,
some characters’ names from those books can be used to trigger light classroom
discussion by asking those who can recognize and tell about certain names
mentioned. By confidently retelling what they know or sometimes what they guess
from the names, learners can recall all books they have read and thus arouse a sense
of accomplishment (P8.). Variation can be made from this light activity by
providing pictures of some books’ cover; asking learners to tell or guess what the
book is probably about judging only from the cover. Further, follow up fun
activities can be given by grouping learners with others who read the same book
and ask them to discuss and later perform an alternate ending creatively. One
emphasis should be made that the output of this mini-drama performance is not for
their excellent role-play skill, but rather aiming for their story comprehension. This
way, learners will feel the pleasure and excitement of reading (P6.); and on the other
hand, the teacher may recognize learners’ progress through their engagement and
attitude.
Assisting learners with strategies and materials aligned to their principles
will maximize the benefits achieved. Setting the benefits of ER resulted from many
31
previous researches as the objective in designing activities for classrooms will
ensure the success of the program. It is through ER that EFL/ESL learners are given
the opportunity to encounter a various range of vocabulary and therefore learn to
decontextualize those new words from various contexts. By this exposure, they will
unconsciously pick up some new words as they read more. Further, when they
successfully decontextualize those words they are also at the same time introduced
to their use and function within sentence pattern –its grammatical structure. They
will hence recognize the basewords when encountering them in many different
sentence structures. Once they acquired these two skills, their reading rate will
become faster allowing them to consume more books in a relatively shorter time;
stimulating them to be fond of reading and are motivated to read more books in the
varied genre. All together will lead to a positive attitude and healthy reading habits.
When learners start to think reading is easy and fun, they will hopefully wish for
reading more and on their own even outside the classroom.
4. Narrative Inquiry
The word narrative originated from Latin verb narrare meaning "to tell"
which is the derivation of adjective gnárus meaning "knowing" or "skilled".
Interestingly, the Latin word itself is also derived from Sanskrit gnâ meaning “to
know”. By this literal definition, McQuillan (2000) cited in Kim (2016, p. 6)
carefully sums up narrative as a “form of knowledge that catches the two sides of
narrative, telling as well as knowing.” The telling part in narrative includes the
social interaction which is also the base on the storytelling while knowing indicates
that the story being told is known -or experienced in the context of narrative inquiry.
32
The other urgent terms to clarify from the aforementioned citation is regarding the
distinction of ‘narrative’ to ‘story’. Kim (2016, p. 8) explains that although some
use them interchangeably, narrative inquiry sees the need to draw boundary
between the two:
Narrative is a recounting of events that are organized in a

temporal sequence, and this linear organization of events makes
up a story … Thus a story is a detailed organization of narrative
events arranged in a (story) structure based on time although the
events are not necessarily in chronological order.
Referring to this, story is the whole experience whilst narrative is a partial
description of lived experience. Although it may seem that story belongs at a higher
level by the definition, we should not mitigate the existence of narrative for both
are intertwining with each other. Story is constructed by narratives and thus give
the significance of narrative for story. Narrative inquiry takes the lived experience
partially as it deals with idiographic analysis rather than on generalizations offered
by nomothetic analysis. Idiography as in narrative inquiry focuses more on
particular since the experience itself is “uniquely embodied, situated, and
perspectival” (Smith, Flowers, & Larkin, 2012, p. 29) resulting in a deeper analysis
for being detailed, contextual, and systematic. Bell (2002, p. 209) once again
confirms that “No matter how fictionalized, all stories rest on and illustrate the story
structures a person holds. As such, they provide a window into people’s beliefs and
experiences”. Hence, narrative inquiry is based on the respondent’s specifically
chosen parts of life. We are living by experiencing the world, and so life itself is
our way of making sense the pattern of our story; in which through narrative inquiry
researcher endeavors to capture particular chosen part(s) from the story.

33
a. The appeal of narrative inquiry
As narrative inquiry belongs to qualitative research, its analysis, therefore,
centers on the perspective of human participants in their social life; to explore the
contextual process rather than to focus on the outcomes. By this, I came to realize
that the way quantitative research justifies the research area through empirical
methods involving statistical figures may not be sufficient to cope with the
complexity of human issues. This gap is what has been complemented by narrative
inquiry “as it is well suited to addressing the issues of complexity and cultural and
human cent[e]redness in research.” (Webster & Mertova, 2007, p. 1). The
increasing tendency toward the use of narrative inquiry - called the “narrative turns”
had also been initiated by what Webster and Mertova had posited. For a more
comprehensive explanation, I would refer to the four sequences of narrative turns
by Barkhuizen, Benson, & Chik (2014) as the big classification.
1) A turn towards qualitative from quantitative research
There has been a growing realization among quantitative researchers that
some aspects, such as “human agency (people’s motives and values), cultural
influence and temporal dimensions of events” (Elliot, 2005, p. 171), can’t depend
on the quantification of variables in the statistical method. Narrative turns realize
the need to negotiate the way social science should be studied. Instead of relying
on numerical analysis, they would better be studied as to how their original nature
is; as natural phenomena.

34
2) A turn towards post-modern concerns of “cultural vertigo”
Casey (1995) uses the terms of Cultural Vertigo to address the interest
reflected by post-modernity toward self, identity, and individuality. Recalling back
to the discussion of how truth is viewed from different paradigms, post-modern
scholars are moving away from the grandness of social life into a particularity of
social life. Narrative inquiry promotes the prediction of human behavior by
separating individuals from social. Daiute (2014) further posits that narrative
inquiry should explore the diverse perception of each individual’s life in making
sense of the world they live in. Social reality may be interpreted differently among
individuals and thus each individual uniqueness deserves acknowledgment.
3) A turn towards post-modern concerns on individual and social identities
This third turn is still closely intertwining with cultural vertigo, only that it
takes the account of how self-identity construct social identities (Giddens, 1991).
As the diverse interpretation of social reality by individuals, it is also significant
then to recognize how that diversity results in the way social reality is defined. By
taking an in-depth look at this individual diversity, a narrative inquiry may help in
understanding how each individual takes a role in the world we live in. How people
narrate their story reflects how they perceive the world. “Story telling shapes public
life, and individuals transform public life in their own personal stories.” (Daiute,
2014, p. 7).
4) A turn towards an individual’s or group’s empowerments
As triggered by the two previous concerns of post-modernity, narrative
inquiry breathes “the idea that research should both involve and empower the
35
groups and individuals” (Barkhuizen, Benson, & Chik, 2014, p. 3) being studied or
those “who have been silenced from some public hearings of personal experience”
(Hardings in Daiute, 2014, p. 10). The researcher should be the voice from those
who are unvoiced, to facilitate them channeling their silenced-voices. By voices,
Creswell (2013) refers to the authenticity and spontaneity of an individual
perspective. For assisting an individual’s voice to reach more people, narrative
inquiry thus promotes self-actualization at the higher level of humanity.
To sum up, the interconnectedness of thoughts and feelings within the subjectivity
of narrative inquiry is indeed what brings the profound insight into how educational
research could encourage progression through the representations of teachers’ and
learners’ lived experience. Social life is best understood through a rich elaboration
of narratives rather than through statistical analysis.
b. Narrative Inquiry in Educational Research
Narrative research deals with a broad field of study within a cross-
disciplinary journal. The first time I was introduced to narrative research is, in fact,
through the literature field; Narratology. In the book of Beginning Theory by Barry
(2009, p. 214), narratology is defined as “the study of how narratives make
meaning, and what the basic mechanisms and procedures are which are common to
all acts of story-telling.” As cited, narratology in literature therefore attempts to
study the narrative representation from a completed package of a story depicting a
concept and culture and how both have shaped the narrative events. So how does
such stories-involving research relate to educational research? As mentioned
earlier, narrative inquiry refers to a bigger scope and thus can’t simply be viewed
36
from one field of study for it “brings storytelling and research together either by
using stories as research data or by using storytelling as a tool for data analysis or
presentation of findings.” (Barkhuizen, Benson, & Chik, 2014, p. 3). While
literature takes the position of narrative as research data, education may take
narrative as both data analysis and methodology. The same notion is outlined by
Polkinghorne (1995) as he proposes the two distinctions of narrative inquiry;
analysis of narratives that use a story as the research data, and narrative analysis
which uses story-telling to structure the data analysis and to present the findings.
As you continue reading my study, you will find a more comprehensive discussion
on the issue in chapter three.
Narrative inquiry was first brought into education by Conelly and Clandinin
(1990) who strongly affirm that the knowledge shared in education is that of coming
from interaction; of what educational experiences we tell each other. Teachers’
educational experiences are valuable for their contribution toward professional
development as in how a teacher could plan their classroom activity from self and
others perspectives; lesson plan development, difficulties, and obstacles
experienced during the implementation, reflection and redesigning, and the
application of the newly learned experience. These practical insights are those of
what would be achieved by applying narrative inquiry in educational research.
Professional experience is a complex human experience and thus to explore this
kind of experience, empirical evidence or statistical data might not be sufficient to
capture the whole narrative. Teaching is about a story-telling of what has been lived
in as a learner, teacher, and even researcher. All of which brings the sense-making
37
framework centered around the interconnectedness of narrative and human
experience. The foundational note to underline is thus “experience happens
narratively … Therefore, educational experience should be studied narratively”
(Clandinin & Conelly, 2000, p. 19).
The question remains is then regarding how narrative inquiry is applied
within teaching and learning research. Narrative inquiry in general falls into two
broad classifications based on the role of the researcher and the research participant;
i.e. autobiographical and biographical (Benson, 2004). Further; Barkhuizen,
Benson, & Chik (2014) in their book Narrative Inquiry in Language Teaching and
Learning Research review the approach of narrative inquiry used in the papers of
some proponents of the field (e.g. Bell, 2002; Benson, 2004; Cameron, 2000;
Kouritzin, 2000, Oxford, 1995; Pavlenko, 2002, 2007) and put narrative inquiry
into five categories under Benson’s classifications;
1) Autobiographical narrative inquiry
In this approach, the researcher is writing and analyzing his/her own story.
As taking a double role, the researcher could present deep, emotional, and
thoughtful insight. Some narrative inquiries belong to autobiographical research are
language memoirs and autobiographical case studies.
Language memoirs are the written experience log of language learners
consisting of personal reflection and also about teaching methodology. However,
as they are mostly written informally and for non-academic purposes, opinions are
varied between those who argue that they are not sufficient as a research project
38
and those who claim that it simply relies on an individual’s openness toward
narrative data analysis method.
Autobiographical case studies are highly similar to language memoirs but
are specifically written for academic purpose and thus includes not only narrative
analysis but also analysis of narrative. The later types of analysis help strengthen
autobiographical case studies’ position in research for it provides a more substantial
analysis apart from the learning-teaching experience.
2) Biographical narrative inquiry
In this approach, the researcher narrates and analyzes the participants’
experiences. With this approach, the narrative produced through the research is co-
constructed between the researcher and the participants and thus promote richer
perspectives. Some narrative inquiries belong to biographical research are studies
of language memoirs, biographical case studies, studies of multiple narratives.
Studies of language memoirs are thematic analysis of the existing or
published language memoirs. In studies of language memoirs, the researcher
doesn’t write the memoirs but instead carefully chooses one or more memoirs –
could be that of language learning or learning strategies ones- and systematically
breaks down the narratives into the thematic analysis as the analysis scope.
Although the analysis itself is based on narrative text, this type of analysis is mostly
presented in a non-narrative style.
Biographical case studies are the elicitation of narrative data from an
individual (single) participant purposefully for further study. A comprehensive
record of non-narrative data as well as on narrative is necessary for the co-

39
construction of the narrative. The researcher’s role is to assist the recollection of
the participant’s experiences and to recognize and present their academic values.
This way, the researcher is considered to co-author the studied experiences with the
participant.
Studies of multiple narratives are the study on multiple biographical case
studies, involving data from two or more (some studies even reach an extremely
broad number of several hundred) participants. At some points, studies of multiple
narratives can be said as the broader scope of a biographical case study. However,
the fundamental distinction is that, in multiple narratives researcher is not co-
constructing the narrative with the participants but rather guides them to construct
the narrative as intended by the researcher. In this view, multiple narratives are also
similar to narrative data elicited through language memoirs; if seen from the
participants’ perspective.
c. Experience; lived and life (told)
Narrative inquiry bounds at the complexity and richness of human
experiences. And for this, understanding experience serves as the foundation and
the starting point toward the analysis. I would first start by referring to Smith,
Flowers, and Larkin (2012) with their hierarchy of experience. Using the analogy
of first someone experiencing the heat of the stone and the cold of the water when
swimming, and secondly, someone experiencing swimming for the first time in a
while during his post-surgery treatment which brilliantly sums up both hierarchies
of experience; at it smallest unit and at its comprehensive unit respectively. The
first situation illustrates how experience works at its smallest unit; temporal and
40
situational. Whilst, the second situation illustrates experience at its comprehensive
units in a way that conveys a larger and significant meaning to one’s life.
Swimming, in this sense, is not merely an event of stepping on a pile of hot stones
or dipping into cold water but beyond that swimming is considered as an event that
marks his recovery; an event when he discovers a different meaning of activity
within the story of his life. Narrative inquiry commits on the comprehensive unit of
experience for in narrative inquiry experience is what Dewey in Kim (2016, p. 70)
defines as “part of the problem to be explored”. Experience can be understood only
when it consists of active and passive elements; meaning that when we experience
an event we are at the same time doing the activity with it. To draw a connection
with the aforementioned situations on the hierarchy of experience; the heat felt on
one’s soles and the cold on the back is the passive element, whilst how he puts
meaning on that heat and cold he felt by associating those feelings to his previous
past experience is the active element.
Figure 3. Hierarchy of experience
Whereas the smallest unit experience stops at passive element (what’s felt),
the comprehensive experience continues the effect by interacting with the newly-
41
experienced event to that of past experienced events. These two, continuity and
interaction, have been then valued as the principles of experience. Bradley (2005)
in the same regards gives no room for objection as he cited Smith, Flowers, and
Larkin when affirming that experience covers comprehensive fields; i.e.
understanding, desire, intention, anticipation, relation, cultural pattern, feelings,
belief, behavior, smell, and sound. All of these are closely intertwining with each
other to collectively construct one’s experience. All in all, to study experience
within the scope of narrative inquiry, a researcher must “make backward and
forward connection between what we do to things and what we enjoy or suffer from
things in consequences” (Dewey in Kim, 2015, p. 70). Further, Bradley (2005) also
proposes that all of the fields of lived experience include both events in the past and
events in the present era. It seconds the previous statement that the interconnections
between the passive and active elements should be done as a circular activity rather
than linear or even static correlation; or borrowing Dewey’s terms, experience
studied in narrative inquiry is “an ever-present process”. Seeing experience as
continual and interactional experience means seeing the experience as a chain of
past, present, and future. Other proponents of narrative inquiry use rather different
terminology to address Bradley’s past and present events as their chronological
order of being mentioned, Connelly and Clandinin (1990) as lived and life
experience, and Creswell (2013) as lived and told stories.
B. FRAMEWORK OF PRE-UNDERSTANDING
The framework of pre-understanding here refers to how the elicited narrative
perceives the lived experience of English lecturer in a non-English department in

42
implementing ER as Grammar instruction. ER principles are applied as a way of
participant actualizing herself toward a more contextualized English teaching-
learning of 21st-century skill. Instead of delivering grammar instruction
declaratively, as to how it mostly tends to be in a formal classroom, the participant
holds on to the third position of the weak interface in facilitating her students
noticing the gap they are having with their grammar mastery. To successfully
promote empathic understanding into her life, the narrative will be elicited
throughout Murphy’s fields of experience as cited by Bradley (2005); focusing only
on five of them: beliefs, feeling, understanding, action, and intention. Further, the
pre-figured themes are classified in consideration of the elements of lived
experience which involves the past, present, and future. Therefore, the pre-figured
themes are those of agency including participant’s motives and value as what had
initiated participant’s decision, practical guidelines including application and
challenges which covers detailed elaboration on the program, and lastly reflection
including revision and redesigning for the future betterment.

43
Figure 4. Framework of Pre-understanding

CHAPTER III
RESEARCH METHODOLOGY
After laying out my consideration of writing narrative inquiry to address the
issue in the first chapter and for all theoretical overview that is necessary regarding
the terms of narrative inquiry has also been provided in the previous chapter, I will
therefore in this chapter emphasis on describing the procedure of how I
methodologically conduct the study. To start with, I will elaborate on the research
method itself and followed with the research design which includes information
about my participant and research setting, as well as the nature and source of the
data I compiled, the technique and instrument I use to compile the data. The third
subchapter is the elaboration of how the data is analyzed. And lastly, as validity has
always been a prominent discussion for narrative inquiry, I will dedicate the last
subchapter to justify my research trustworthiness.
A. RESEARCH METHOD
Whereas quantitative research deals with statistical analysis to confirm a
pre-specified relationship of a particular theoretical framework, qualitative research
deals more to explore and discover a framework of pre-understanding. For this
research involved the participant’s life and the qualities of education she
encouraged, it therefore fell into qualitative research. Moreover, the complexity of
experience that I captured through this research led me to the use of narrative
inquiry for a better and more profound understanding as to how Bell (2002, p. 209)
seconds previous studies;
44
45
Narratives allow researchers to present experience holistically in

all its complexity and richness. They are therefore powerful
constructions, which can function as instruments of social control
(Mumby, 1993) as well as valuable teaching tools (Egan, 1988).
Further, as the narrative I elicited was that of co-constructed from a participant’s
experience, the mode of narrative inquiry I employed was a biographical case study.
Biographical case study allowed me to focus on deeply exploring single
participant’s story -lived and life experiences- which underlies the way she makes
sense the account of events in her past, present, and future. The idiographic
narrative elicited in biography should hence not be underrated as a mere personal
life but instead as a way of acknowledging one’s humanity in relation to the
historical, social, and cultural context in human research (Kim, 2015; Chase, 2011).
The case or the particularity emphasized in my study revolved on the
participant’s commitment to implementing ER principles in her Grammar class. To
discuss this, I would refer to a German term Bildungsroman which includes the
components of biographical narrative; life story/life history and oral history. The
term originated from German Bildung meaning formation or education and Roman
meaning a story (Kim, 2016). Literally taken, Bildungsroman may be defined as
building and cultivating a story for identity growth and development.
Pedagogically, the participant’s resilience and persistence toward ER principles
reflected her intellectual and professional maturity. Recalling back at how lived
experience constitutes both passive and active elements, it was also becoming a
reflexive story about her ‘journey of becoming’. In brief, constructing a narrative
through a biographical case study focusing on her endeavor would not only
46
acknowledge her self-development but will, more importantly, valued the process
of her achievement.
B. RESEARCH DESIGN
In this part, all the details of the nature of the data and how they were
compiled are elaborated to help understand the practical overview of how the
research conducted.
1. Research Participant and Setting
Being surrounded by many wonderful colleagues at University of
Muhammadiyah Yogyakarta always makes me feel so little and so by their strong
teaching commitment I am always motivated to enrich myself more and more.
Lanoke Intan Paradita is one whose inspiration reaches me and which has driven
me to conduct the study. Upon her graduation from Sanata Dharma undergraduate
program (S1) of English Literature in 2009, she had been pursuing her passion for
teaching. While continuing her study at Sanata Dharma graduate program (S2) of
English Language Studies toward her graduation in 2016 she had been dedicating
herself as the permanent English instructor of Language Training Centre UMY
where we first acquainted and during which I first recognized her professionalism.
It was in 2017 when she was appointed as an English lecturer at one of the non-
English departments in UMY; hereafter will be addressed as The Department. With
the new responsibility she bears here in The Department, she faces new challenges.
Throughout many personal conversations we shared, I noticed her struggle adapting
with her new department and in complying with the academics program prepared
for her. Her struggle came to its culmination a year after her appointment after she
47
had completed a full cycle of 2016/2017 academic year when she refused to repeat
the un-pleasant teaching experience she underwent before. As to witness and record
her determination to strive for quality education in line with her beliefs, the
narratives elicited in this study situates in her Grammar class conducted on the Odd
semester of 2018/2019 academic from September 2018 to January 2019. I
particularly prefer the Grammar class since it is the very same class that she first
taught in her first year of joining The Department and thus the class that she piloted
some renewals, betterments, and developments as her reflection from her previous
academic year teaching experience. The Grammar class weights as 2 credits with
16 meetings of 100 minutes in each meeting. These 16 meetings are distributed as
in-class meetings, independent distant learnings, reading gatherings, and online
projects; all of which will be thoroughly elaborated on the following chapter.
2. Nature and Source of the Data
In a broad category, the nature of the data in narrative inquiry is classified
into two; narrative and non-narrative data. The former category includes language
learning memoirs, language learning histories, and completed narrative
frameworks; whilst the latter includes interview transcript, diaries or reflected
journals, multimodal text, and ethnographical data sets. These two categories fall
perfectly to match the distinction of narrative research by Polkinghorne
(1995) I mentioned in the first chapter. Referring to Polkinghorne, narrative data
belongs to the analysis of narratives while non-narrative data belongs to narrative
analysis. However, Barkhuizen, Benson, and Chik (2014, p. 74) argue that in
educational narrative inquiry this distinction is not black and white for in education
48
field narrative inquiry may refer to both analyses of narratives and narrative
analysis. Their claim is based on the following cited arguments;
(i) If the interview is designed to elicit a story … the

interviewee’s contribution to the story may be treated as a
narrative. (ii) The researcher may produce an edited narrative
summary of the interviewee’s contribution for further analysis.
(iii) The researcher may select for analysis a short extract from
an interview in which the interviewee tells a story.
Hence, drawing an exact boundary between narrative and non-narrative data is not
urgent for they serve an equally significant purpose of eliciting a narrative from the
participant. As such, in my study, all were thus addressed as narrative data because,
after all, lived experience itself is narrative in its nature -whilst Polkinghorne’s
narrative analysis becomes the analytical tool. Further, Barkhuizen, Benson, and
Chik (2014) propose types of narrative data seen from its form; those are oral
narratives, written narratives, and multimodal narratives. Instead of having written
narratives -such as diaries, language learning histories, reflective teacher journals,
and narrative frames- or multimodal narratives -such as graphic cartoons-, my study
benefitted oral narratives.
3. Data Instrument
The oral narrative was mainly compiled through in-depth interviews and
observation. As being interpretative, however, the narrative also included some
excerpts from the everyday conversational context I had with the participant. In
addition to that, I also included some archival materials/artifacts to support the
findings of my observations.
The use of some excerpts taken from everyday conversation refers to the
narratives in context. Narratives in context gain its prominence after being

49
discussed in Living Narrative by Och and Capps (2001) cited in Vasquez (2011).
Their significant finding suggests that narrative elicited from interviews might be
different from that of when told during daily conversation. As such, clarifying and
comparing what is told during the interview to the daily basis context will enrich
the finding of my research. On top of that, my personal relationship with the
participant allowed me to connect what being told during interview to what the
participant shared off the camera. Thus, ensuring the richness of my interpretation.
Interview in qualitative research is most commonly done under the premise
that a knowledge elicited form individual is resourceful and rich (Gubrium,
Holstein, Marvasti, & McKinney, 2012) and therefore aims to recognize ones’
perspectives through life events they experienced “to uncover their lived world
prior to scientific analysis” (Kvale & Brinkmann, 2009, p. 1). Following the
aforementioned term of Bildungsroman as the components of biographical
narratives, Kvale and Brinkmann (2009) suggest three purposes of interview i.e.
short story which denotes particular occurrence, life history that is a re-told life
experience, and oral history which addresses communal history rather than personal
ones. In narrative inquiry, the purpose of interviewing the participant is most likely
to reveal life history rather than the other two. Although the ‘particular occurrence’
in a short story might seem to correspond with idiographic, we have to keep in mind
that the lived experience intended to be excavated through narrative inquiry
involves the continual interaction between passive and active elements. Once we
have it firmed in our mind, we shall relate that short story covers only a single
passive element. For this reason also, the interview should be open-ended to gain
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the richest story possible; ensuring more time is allocated for the participant to tell
and for the researcher to listen (Smith, Flowers, & Larkin, 2012).
In a similar notion, Kim (2016) introduces two phases of interview in
narrative inquiry; narration phase and conversation phase. Narrative phases were
employed by giving the interviewee most of the session to elaborate on her
experiences thoroughly and was uninterrupted. I as the interviewer was acting as an
active listener and kept my response minimum; probing questions related to what
told by the interviewee must be kept for the next phase. In the occasion when it was
needed, non-verbal expression or gesture was necessary to prolong the
interviewee’s elaboration. The next phase, the conversation phase, was when I
interacted with the interviewee to exchange information, clarify things and probe
emergent topics if any. By responding well to each other utterance, a successful co-
construction of the narrative was ensured.
To enrich the findings I obtained from the interview, the other instrument I
used to collect my data was an observation. Observation helped to investigate the
evidence that supports the experience retelling process and see whether or not it
was close to reality. However, there was also a tendency of participants behaving
unnaturally when being observed called as observer’s paradox (Labov, 1972 in
Kim, 2016). Observer’s paradox can be seen from the interviewee’s openness and
closeness with or without video/audio recorder, or else can also from how
participant develops anxiety prior to and/or during the observation –which also
happened to my participant. To overcome the paradox, I referred to solutions
proposed by some scholars discussed hereafter. As Xu and Connelly (2010) suggest

51
that the researcher puts efforts to adapt to the field of the research scope as to
naturally feel belong to it. In addition, Speer (2008) encourages spending more time
apart from the allocated time for interview and observation, which could be before
and/or after the scheduled session, to build a connection with the participant. Most
importantly, the observer’s paradox is not to be ignored but rather to be
acknowledged. Admitting the paradox will help the researcher becoming more
focused on “the interconnections of the methods, context, and data” (Gordon, 2012,
p. 300). As I have been acquainted with the participant before conducting the
research, I have more or less build a personal relationship with her. Besides, being
a colleague under the same institution gave us plenty of times for casual
conversation regarding the research topic or things I found during the observations
including times when she occasionally shared her anxiety of having me inside her
class. By all these means, trustworthiness was expected to be established and the
gap between reality and what’s been captured through the lens could be discussed
openly.
4. Data Gathering
As the data in the narrative inquiry was oral narrative elicited from the lived
and life experience of the participant, it was primarily compiled from the semi-
structured interview. To ensure the open-ended question would not become too
broad or diverted from the main purpose, a set of the question was necessary to
keep the elaboration cohesive. This set of question is addressed differently and
hence used
Table 1. Initial Interview Guide
Chronological Phase Question Type Theme

Construct NP CP
Past (pre- √ Q1.0. Agency
implementation) How did you come to the decision of implementing ER in your grammar Narrative
class?
Possible prompts:
√ i. What is the main difference between ER principles and grammar-based Contrast
instruction?
√ ii. What do you think your dean thinks about what you do? Circular
iii. …
Present (during- √ Q2.0. Practical guidelines
implementation) How do you incorporate the principles of ER when designing your Structural
classroom activity?
Possible prompts:
√ i. As far as you can see, how do you think your students respond to the Evaluative
activities?
√ ii. Can you explain some of the things you find it difficult during the Descriptive
program?
√ iii. Can you talk about the references you use when designing the activities? Structural
iv. …
Future (post- √ Q3.0. Reflection
implementation) How does it meet your expectations? Evaluative
Possible prompts:
√ i. How do you feel after completing the program? Evaluative
√ ii. How do you think your class would be if you didn’t implement ER Comparative
principles?
√ iii. Could you describe the kind of improvements you wish to have for the Descriptive
following semester?
iv. …
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interchangeably by various proponents; as a ‘protocol’ by Creswell (2013),
a ‘guide’ by Barkhuizen, Benson, and Chik (2014), and as a ‘schedule’ by Smith,
Flowers, and Larkin (2012). For ‘guide’ is deemed to be more familiar by many, in
my study I would refer to it when addressing my set of interview questions.
According to the chronological constructs of narrative thinking –past, present, and
future-, my interview was largely divided into three sections with one main guide
to address each component respectively and with flexible numbers of prompts
depending on the fluidity of the conversation phase.
Figure 5. Observation’s archival data & artifacts
Meanwhile, the observations were done eight times in total; seven times for
the classroom activity and once for the reading gathering. For hoping to capture the
authentic classroom conduct, I was not involved in all activities my participant gave
for the class. Instead, I purposefully immersed myself more in a thoughtful field-
note writing to examine what’s really going on and to find how it related to the lived
experience I was grasping. From the multiple observations, the participant’s field
53
54
of lived experience was observed and was supported by the archival data and
artifacts compiled.
C. DATA ANALYSIS
Before going further on how I analyzed the data, I see the urgency to first
highlight the fundamental difference between the analysis process in quantitative
and qualitative research. Unlike quantitative research which has a clear boundary
from data collection to data analysis, qualitative research has a more flexible cycle.
DÖrnyei (2007) coins the tree key terms of qualitative data analysis to point out the
contrast; saying that in qualitative the analysis will be iterative, emergent, and
interpretative. Iterative indicates the absence of either an exact ending of data
collection or the exact starting point of data analysis. As being iterative, throughout
the process, I occasionally reversed back and forth between the two for necessary
additional data until the findings and analysis were deemed to be comprehensive
and saturated. Emergent specifies the nature of the data analysis as being fluid and
open toward any new finding apart from the predetermined ones. I was therefore
allowed to opt for a new field of analysis if considered significant. Lastly,
interpretive illustrates the subjectivity of the analysis for the final outcome of the
qualitative data analysis highly relies on the researcher’s interpretation. Thus, the
data analysis I adopted here was circular rather than in linear relation.
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Figure 6. Modified Version of Mishler’s Typology: Methods and Narrative Analysis (Category 1)
in Kim (2015)
Keeping that in mind, now I would like to turn to Elliot Mishler to go on
with my data analysis method. Even decades after its first being proposed, Mishler’s
model of narrative analysis remains influential among narrative researchers. Kim
(2016, p. 198) reviews some narrative data analysis methods and suggests Mishler’s
Typology: Methods and Narrative Analysis to be the most comprehensive one
among others for its “depth, strength, and diversity of the ‘narrative turn’ in the
many sciences” although he himself modestly mentions that there still possibility
for revision and improvement. To cover broader genres, Mishler’s typology takes
Halliday’s language function –reference, structure, function- as its foundation and
thereby includes three categories. In the first category, Reference and temporal
order: The “telling” and the “told”, Mishler puts more emphasis on how the told
events and actions and the data presentation are respectively put into order. The
second one, Textual coherence, and structure: Narrative strategy, is reclining more
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toward structuralism in ways that it deals with the textual unity and coherence.
Lastly, in the third category, Narrative functions: Contexts and consequences focus
its analysis on social construction through individuals. Given the suitability of the
three categories to my research objective, I assumed the first category is the most
appropriate one to analyze my narrative data.
The reference denotes Labov’s model of language, meaning, and action as
“the point of departure” to make sense of the recalled life events. Whilst, temporal
order defines how the participant put his/her told events or actions into order –
presumably depends on how s/he signifies the events- and how the researcher put
those told events or action into the telling. Understanding that both the told and the
telling might have been in a different order, the analysis in Mishler’s category 1 is
thus aiming to sequence these temporal orders. Once all the terms were clarified,
we are now ready to start discussing each phase of the method.
1. Recapitulating the told in the telling (Labov’s model).
First and foremost, a good narrator must be fully aware of the told, and so
my focus in this first method was to investigate what the told is about. To do so, I
had to recognize the six elements of personal narratives; those are abstract,
orientation, complicating action, evaluation, result and resolution, and coda.
Recognizing abstract means being able to sum up the whole point of the told stories
in general which later be orientated or is given the context of place, time, and
character. A story worth to tell is one that includes a critical moment from which
shows how the character and the narrator evaluate the problem. Later on the result
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or resolution, a value is given toward how the conflict is resolved. Whilst through
the last one, coda, we are reconnected to how the story begins.
In the scope of my research, the abstract was in general my participant’s
experience of working in The Department. The orientation introduced her
background toward her personal and professional life, which led to the complication
that was receiving an obligation to teach grammar despite her different beliefs.
Moving on, the evaluation laid upon her practical decisions along the way the
participant implemented the program and overcome the challenges that occurred.
The result and solution came at the very last part of the observed experiences when
the participant ended the program at the end of the semester. And lastly, coda was
identified at how the participant reflected, and at the same time at how I relate the
experience to the participant’s intention.
2. Reconstructing the told from the telling (reordering a storyline).
In this method, both temporal orders -the told and the telling- were compared
and combined to construct the final storyline. Doing so created a systematic flow
of plot in accordance with how I intended to narrate the story. This method was
crucial since it was not rare when the participant’s told was not focused or to some
extent deviated from the topic. Reconstructing the told from the telling was like
scalping the ‘skeleton’ of the story; putting every event orderly to achieve what I
aimed from eliciting the narrative.
Although the interview guide was prepared, it was often that the participant
responded with broad answers and or indicated answers for even the question on
the following guide –the ones not yet asked. Consequently, all the answers must be
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reorganized not based on the order of the answer being given but at how the answer
corresponded to how the narrative was intended to progress. Thus, some of the
excerpts quoted during the telling process were highly likely not to be in the same
order as to how they were chronologically told by the participant.
3. Imposing a told on the telling (identifying story pattern).
The third method involved how I coded and decoded the told and the telling
into themes, either the predetermined ones or the emergent ones. As for the pattern,
I refer to Kim (2016, p. 125) when proposing that;
Biographical narrative research explores lived experiences and

perspectives that people have of their lives, including their past,
present, and future, focusing on how they make sense of the
meanings they give to the stories they tell.
And so under this pattern, as also correspond to the elements of lived experience,
all the themes were classified. Once the pattern was fixed, I reduced the data and
broke them down into codes. Among the many other types of codes, in this research,
I employed conceptual codes from which I identified the “key elements, domains
and dimension of the study phenomenon” (Vaismoradi, Jones, Turunen, &
Snelgrove, 2016, p. 103). Following such method, I thereby put the theme of agency
into the past, the practical guidelines into the present, and the reflection into the
future.
4. Making a telling from the told (inferring story).
Provided that all previous methods are about analyzing verbal data, Mishler
ends the category by providing the analysis method for nonverbal data; once again
pinning the comprehensiveness of his method. During interviews and observations,

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I also came across some multiple types of data including archival data and/or
artifacts. As these data did not tell the story themselves, I needed to classify them
into the proper theme by analyzing how these data signifies which pattern. This
method was challenging for it took meticulousness to infer the telling from the told.
Some of the artifacts I collected during the process were the initial syllabus of the
Grammar class, some text materials of the classroom reading activity, some project
examples from students, posters of events and the participants attended
conferences, and also some pictures of the classroom reading activities.
D. TRUSTWORTHINESS
Narrative aims toward human enlightenment for being empathic toward
one’s life events. As such, validity in narrative research should be bounded more
on how meaningful the analysis is rather than on what consequence it may rise.
Under such understanding, the following will discuss the four aspects of my
qualitative research’s trustworthiness.
1. Credibility
For quantitative research relies on empirical evidence to look for outcomes,
its validity depends heavily on measurement tools it uses to validate the data. In
contrast to this, narrative inquiry seeks to understand and relates to experiences and
so it “does not strive to produce any conclusions of certainty, but aims for its finding
to be ‘well-grounded’ and supportable’, retaining an emphasis on the linguistic
reality of human experience” (Webster & Mertova, 2007, p. 4). Thus, it would be
fair to claim that the credibility of narrative research reveals in its field notes and
transcript trustworthiness. Thus, to pursue the data triangulation, I elicited data from
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the interview, observation, and related artifacts. All to check the credibility of each
data taken from the respective method and to ensure that all were supporting the
findings mutually.
Lastly, to enhance the research’s credibility, I also clarified the interview
transcript to one of the participant’s closest college to ensure the truthfulness of the
participant’s told. This particular college, boss Luluk as how the participant usually
calls her, is the one who was also involved during the early stages of the syllabus
designing. She had been the one from whom the participant had asked for
consultation and was also mentioned by the participant several times during the
interview, and later in the narrative. As witnessing the whole process of the program
implementation, boss Luluk is the perfect third party for this research scope.
Requesting her as a credibility auditor mitigated the tendency and possibility of the
observer’s paradox (as mentioned earlier during data instrument).
2. Dependability
One way of promoting the dependability of qualitative research –such as
mine- is by inquiring experts to act as an external audit. As being interpretative, the
findings to my study are therefore subjective. However, to establish the
dependability of the findings, this study had been reviewed on several occasions.
As an expert in education and educational research, my thesis supervisor had
contributed his evaluation in ensuring the consistency of my findings and the raw
data I reported and consulted. Moreover, the data piloting had also been reviewed
during the Grand Research Proposal. Some valuable inputs from the occasion were
applied for some refinement and betterment.

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3. Transferability
One among other determining aspects to value a study for being insightful
is that the study itself is transferable. Hence, I expect my study to be transferable
not only for the future researcher but also for teachers desiring to replicate the
program. A rigid elaboration on the methodology, along with the underlying
theories into why I decided to employ such methods were carefully addressed. By
doing so I was hoping to provide adequate details for future researchers to apply
the same or similar methodology possibly in different contexts, populations, and/or
situations. Besides committing to provide a thick description of the data compiling
process and analysis, it was also my concern to narrate the participant’s lived
experience as profound as I could possibly elicit. The experience narrated was not
only referring to the action but also included the context of how and why the action
was employed. Such context may help the readers –especially teachers sharing the
same interest- constructing the situation in which the study was conducted.
Understanding the context of the narrative is expected to serve as a resourceful
insight to relate the study to their own context.
4. Confirmability
Amsterdam and Bruner (2000, p. 30) confirm that “Stories derive their
convincing power not from verifiability but from verisimilitude: they will be true
enough when they ring true” suggesting the centeredness of narrative research into
how reality represents the truth. In this issue, I co-constructed the narrative with the
participant. By having the participant evaluated the findings and how I interpreted
them, I ensured the narrative is wholly true to my participant’s experience. Hence,

62
to avoid distortion in my narrative during the retelling process, I consulted every
excerpt I cited and/or interpreted from the interview and observation to my
participant. For more enhanced conformability, I employed the three levels of focus
in narrative inquiry by Nekvapil (2003);
a. Narrative as text
Narrative as a text is best understood as what is the story about; what are the
events narrated by the participants. At this level, what I had asked my participant
to confirm was the reality of her life that I was eliciting. Whether or not the way I
comprehended her life history corresponds to her perspective. Ensuring the mutual
perspective was crucial as a starting point to build my narrative trustworthiness for
it resulted in authentic interpretation. Relating this to the data analysis I previously
mentioned, this level was likely to be done during the first method when I
recapitulated the told from the telling.
b. Narrative as the subject’s individual or psychological reality
Once I secured the textual authenticity, the next to confirm was regarding
how the events were experienced by the participant. Specifically to my study
context, biography, building a truthful relationship with my participant was
significant to guarantee that the narrative would still be constructed based on how
she defined her reality of life. This would refer to the second and fourth methods
during the time I reconstructed the told from the telling and to when I made a telling
from the told. How I put the events to be her temporal order as well as how I inferred
the archival data and artifacts should match how she understood them to be.
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c. Narrative as an account of the reality of life
Finally, narrative as an account of reality is still closely related to the
previous level of trustworthiness. This was when I should obey my participant’s
approval on how I narrated my findings during the third data analysis method;
imposing the told on the telling. During the previous level, it was highly possible
that I found the difference between her temporal orders to mine. And for achieving
the objective of my research, it would be necessary for me to put the balance on
hers and mine; to have some events reordered to induce more subtle narrative
events. What I then needed to clarify to my participant was whether or not the
selected part of the narrative I highlighted from her story was valuable for her life
history and whether it promoted transparency and coherence throughout the whole
stages. For the highest possible of trustworthiness, any objection and contrasting
argument from the participant should be absent.

CHAPTER IV
DISCOVERING GRAMMAR THROUGH EXTENSIVE READING
While busy getting by with each day, series of turns of life events brought
me to this place - to these people who teach me how it is like to have a passion in
life and how to live up to it. These people are so unique in their own way, that each
of them brought me different light. Good people make a good place; and indeed, it
is these people who stand me a pole throughout all the hardships and desperations
plagued me once at a time during my eight years of working here. Among these
good people here at Language Training Centre (LTC) UMY, there is this strong-
willed woman -Lanoke intan paradita- whose inspiration reaches me. And in these
years we have shared, I’ve learned some of her valuable thoughts from her life
journey. One of which, I’m about to narrate.
E. The New Nest: The Oppression and the Detachment
It was August, approaching the odd semester of 2017/2018, when Uke
finally brought all of her belongings to this 2,4 times 1,5 meter-square cubicle
which should have been her desk since last semester actually. Despite receiving her
formal appointment to serve The Department in February 2017, she kept postponing
herself and took the longest time possible to move to her new base - preparing her
heart to officially bid the farewell. Leaving LTC was not easy for her, especially
when she knew many things were going on back there.
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65
Picture 1. Uke’s cubicle
As much as her heartfelt so heavy leaving the place where her heart still belongs to,
here she was - putting down her bags along with other things she brought. She began
to unload the bags and scattered them onto that U-shaped desk. It didn’t take long
until she finally finished personalizing her cubicle; or ‘nesting’ as to how she calls
it. By marking the cubicle as her nest, at the very least, she could start to make
peace with reality and welcome the next chapter of her life. She sat down in silence,
gazing through the second-floor window glass over her desk - staring emptily at
people passing by down below. She talked to herself, reassuring herself to start
embracing her new nest in The Department, reaffirming her determination to start
a new journey. The Department wouldn’t be a whole new place for her indeed, for
she had known some of her colleagues back when they were all still working under
LTC. Yet, to her surprise, what awaits her there is little that she had ever imagined.
1. Different branch, different wind
Being a ‘newcomer’ and feeling a bit intimidated by her minority of being
the only one majoring in English in the non-English department led Uke becoming
more conscious when adapting to the new environment. For a couple of months
during her early nesting, she was there simply being a silent observer, mapping the
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people and their characters. Testing the water, cautiously not to give a bad first
impression. At times, when arguments broke among them, or else when she was
not pleased with how things ran there, she dare said nothing unless it directly related
and addressed her issue in particular.
“I am a new person in the department, right. I am also younger than them. And I
am also just an English lecturer,” she expressed her insecurity being in the
Department.
“So, who am I? People will just take me lightly.” Continued with shoulders shrug
and a sulky pout.
[Q4.iii]
Her calm upbringing refrained her from making impulsive acts and, in ways, avoid
conflicts. This far! Mind you.
Her composure started to waver when she found out the very first class she
had to teach for the semester; Grammar class. The Department, as not an English
major department, had no English lecturer before her; that the curriculum
completion for English seemed to be less prioritized and, thus, far from being ideal
to her intellectual content. She referred to the Hard Skill and Soft Skill specified on
the given curriculum –once again readily designed before her joining The
Department- which respectively stated as “able to apply the concepts of language
skills and the aesthetic functions of language both orally and written within
international context” (KK13) and “owning an international mindset” (S11). It gave
her a daze. As much as she thought of it, teaching grammar -along with all of the
tenses, verb conjugations, phrases and clauses formation and all- doesn’t seem to
correspond to those skills. She couldn’t help herself to make sense of the
curriculum.
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“How can learning grammar helps them developing an international mindset?” She
questioned the curriculum.
“Grammar is something they had learned during high school. Is it necessary to
learn the same thing over again while they have only two semesters for English?”
She got more frustrated than before.
[Confirmed Conversation Context]
She trembled. She knew this semester wouldn’t be easy. She suddenly felt tons of
burden weighing her shoulders. This is so not a fun welcoming party to celebrate
her new working place. Despite her resistance to teach grammar, she was in some
ways powerless toward making any change. She knew that changing the curriculum
may take long administrative works and complicated procedures. Hence,
accommodating her beliefs appeared to be such privilege The Department found it
difficult to provide her with. Moreover, being in the non-English department also
means that, in most cases, she has to be satisfied with receiving less support than
that of received by her colleagues whose subject is the main stream of the
Department. Nevertheless, with only little hope, she braved herself to bring up the
case to her superior.
“You can do anything with the class, but we should still run the same program.”
Her superior responded to her request for revisiting the English program.
“A curriculum change could not yet be made.” And so he wrapped up the
discussion firmly.
Although it was not to her surprise, still her heart broke receiving such answer. She
was discouraged and could not get over it for quite sometimes. She spent many
times contemplating, and each time ended up with the same conclusion. She would
never be able to have the class without sacrificing her idealism –which never is an
option for her. Apart from finding no excitement in teaching grammar, it is also
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contrary to her belief that grammar should not be the objective of English class;
rather it should be what comes along with the success of language learning. She
was tortured by her agony until she realized the crucial words her superior
exclaimed. Recalling the ‘freedom’ given by her superior to do anything she wanted
with the class, at this point in time, ER crossed through her mind.
“The learning input will be better when it is from reading.” She justified her
decision.
“So that’s why I believe that grammar can be learned through reading although it
is incidentally.” She went on.
“So that’s it! I decided to use reading.” She was being resolute.
[Q1.0]
Her days started to light up once she had set her goal. Likewise, being the only
English lecturer of The Department herself, she was given an absolute right to
design the syllabus to what she considered the best. Every individual, naturally,
will, of course, have the urge to meet their desire by all means; but that’s not the
ground for her decision. It’s not that she was to some extent prioritizing her own
will and to find her way around the curriculum only for her self-content. Deep down
she genuinely thought that this would also be the best she could provide her students
with.
“Because I do it for, in my opinion, I do it for a good cause.” Claiming her

intention.
“This is for the students, and I believe this is good. Therefore, well, I just do it. And
so I went out of the guideline.” I could once again see her strong determination
when hearing her saying this.
[Q2.xxii]
Driven by her passion, she started to design her syllabus for this Grammar
class by incorporating the principle of ER. However, by the time constraint, as the
semester had been right around the corner, she could only implement less than what
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she actually had in her mind. She was distressed. She knew she could have done
way better than this, but she also realized that, by now, she had to be satisfied with
the syllabus she had come up with and went on with it. Feeling lonely as having no
one to share her thought with doubled her concern. No one in the Department
seemed to care how urgent the matter was. The only refugee she could escape to
was boss Luluk – a peer colleague from LTC who was also transferred to a different
department for the exact circumstance and at the same time as her. Boss Luluk is a
nickname we gave when she was our academic manager back at LTC. She is the
boss not only for her job but also for her being so knowledgeable that we often seek
a consultation from her. As in Uke I find passion, from boss Luluk I see
perseverance. Through her roller-coaster life, boss Luluk had gained her wisdom;
making her life lesson as valuable as her academic knowledge. This was most
definitely had also been the thing drawn Uke to reach out to her. Discussing her
syllabus design with her opened some new perspectives and refinements. It was
also boss Luluk who reassured her heart mustering up her courage to advance with
her syllabus despite the worry she was growing inside. I recall how she had always
been so anxious each time she had to have this class.
“I hardly enjoy my class,” she once said.

“I am always anxious before and during the class, I strangely found myself more
comfortable when teaching in other department rather than in my own”. Later she
added.
Nevertheless, she survived the whole semester teaching grammar by
supplementing the class with 10% to 15% reading activities. She put reading log
and reading diary as additional activities to compensate for grammar teaching. It

70
was such a massive work for she had to read and provide feedback for every log
and diary of around fifty-something students every other two meetings. She was not
going to lie and said that she enjoyed it; seeing those piles and piles after piles and
piles of books was overwhelming. At times when days were so packed that she had
to juggle between teaching and some administrative works or university agendas,
those piles of books were untouched. This was what she got herself into by
designing such a syllabus, and she was ready with the consequences. Her
commitment strengthened her to make times - to free some spaces on her desk.
Despite the hard work she had committed into the class, she ended it with
no sense of accomplishment. She has always been someone highly dedicated to her
work as she always pours her heart into it. She never minded her long hour spent
getting no remuneration as long as she had her heart contented. The working hours
and office walls had never restricted and confined her from. After all, working to
her is not merely about how much she could earn; but more essentially how much
she loves doing it. Teaching this grammar class, however, had somehow torn her
heart apart that she was starting to hate what she was doing.
2. Wind of the new season
The Uke I know is full of positive energy. Even after years of friendship, I
couldn’t fathom how she somehow always manages to draw something positive out
of each that I consider negative. She is always that type of calm and easy-going
person who rarely fusses things; except times when it concerns her dearest people.
I remember her telling me an incident which I thought was very unlikely of her
normal behavior. It was once when she was riding with her sister. Of all those days
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they spent together, it was this one day when the sun was scorching hot and people
were bustling up at roads trying to escape the roasting asphalt sooner. She was just
making a right turn in her matic with her sister rode behind her when this man sped
up from their right to overtake them. The road was narrow by the cars and
motorbikes parked along the sidewalk, that with the bus side by side on her left and
median strip just ahead, she had no more space to maneuver and was left with no
other option but to slow down while maintaining the save distance with the bus. As
much as she was being careful, though, she couldn’t avoid the side mirror of the
speedy motorbike to hit her sister’s right elbow. Seeing her sister rubbed her elbow
to ease the pain enraged her that she sped up and caught up with the man to confront
him. With the brown belt in Aikido she had at the time, I could rest assure even
when the man decided to use force on her. What surprised me more was how she
furiously reacted -unlike her usual self. This, I learned that she has less tolerance
when it deals with people she cares about. Sometimes, in some cases, she tends to
prioritize others than herself so long that it doesn’t do anyone any harm.
Now with the discomfort, she was struggling with at The Department, rather
than frantically voiced her objection on the curriculum and assured the urgency of
the matter –which she knew she had a very slim chance of- she tried her best to
reason the circumstances. Nevertheless, everything appeared to be so unfamiliar to
her; the people she thought she knew before were all different people here in The
Department, the working environment she was accustomed to back at LTC was not
a bit of what she encountered here. She couldn’t help comparing how things run in
The Department to those of at LTC.

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Even semester of 2017/2018, following the end of the grammar class, was
the hardest semester to endure. The coldness of the office poked her to the bone;
cold by the shivering gust out of the air conditioner directing solely on her body
and cold by the lack of human existence except for her -let alone human interaction.
Of all the dozen cubicles were there in the office, hers was the one that was mostly
occupied. She had nothing to complain about on that. By the rule, they were
officially obliqued to fulfill eighty hours a month to work at the office, whereas she
devotedly could log in up to 200 hours a month. That’s well explained the
seemingly vacant office. Left alone with only the companion of those empty
cubicles, emptied her heart as well. At times when lonesome struck her the
strongest, she would freeze on her chair leaning her back on the lumbar support
with her head on the headrest only to stare emptily toward this wide oval table just
across her cubicle. Her memory flashed back to the moments when she shared her
daily lunch together with her previous colleagues while also sharing stories of lives,
or most frequently some stupid and ridiculous jokes we could laugh about to the
top of our lungs. Amidst all piles of works and packed deadlines, laughter is indeed
an effective stress reliever. Something she couldn’t find here in the Department.
Forget about being ‘crazy’ together, she even wished to at least have anyone –
literary- to talk to, share ideas, or discuss things. Even at times when people were
around, she was astounded that socializing was very rarely a topic of their talks.
The multiplex plywood fencing each cubicle was not only separating desk to desk
but to her concern was also confining dialogue among them. Exchanging work-
related discussion is of course always good; as being in the workplace as a matter

73
of fact. However, conversing some personal things through casual talks could grow
affection and, even better, build emotional attachment. One particular thing she
desperately strove for in The Department.
“The change was so drastic,” she talked with a heavy sigh.

“What things you don’t know about me, right? I mean, you guys are all actually
just my coworkers. But I feel like you’ve become my family.” She let out her longing
to the ‘family’.
[Q4.viii]
She is never an introvert type of personality, but being among these people
somehow got her beaten. She barely had a chance to casually build a personal
conversation with them. On the other side of the view, she was also given no
pleasure of hearing about these people’s life outside the university. She was eager
to know them like she knows her ‘family’; as how she knows how I scolded my
husband for his hobby of feeding stray cats habitually ending with eight cats
domesticating themselves at our house, how boss Luluk was regretting her being
angry to his only son for splashing water everywhere when taking a bath last
afternoon, how absurd was bro Tama’s youngest daughter’s taste bud when
peculiarly eating brownies and tempeh at once, how Bu Sitta proudly shared the
picture of her newly planted orchid to show off how long it has grown to be, or how
mbak Dais found out three of her growing up daughters frequently had her mist
sprayed on them to be the reason why she ran out of it so quickly each time.
Not wanting to have a negative prejudice toward the people and The
Department, she relieved herself from the disheartenment by consoling herself with
works –and here everything began to tangle up. Burying herself into works, she
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thought, could help to adjust herself better with the works –if not with the people.
She killed those 200 hours by jotting down things-to-do list on a piece of A013-
sized sticky note and posted it among other colorful notes from her readings right
on the broken white painted wall against her desk. To break the silence, she would
slip earphones under her veil and plugged them into her ears. The shuffled playlist
of some of her favorite songs was her only mate; the beats of the songs after songs
accompanied her completing all the to-do-list she had set as her today’s target –
giving her a sense of accomplishment.
“So at the end of the day, when I have all on the list crossed I feel useful.” She
described her definition of a good day at work.
“It’s simply a satisfaction after finishing something, just like that. When nothing is
left out.” She finished with some repeated nods.
[Q5.0]
However, she quickly realized that it exhausted her both physically and mentally.
Although she admitted that it indeed helped her becoming more organized, she
developed another depression. Working this way, despite the length of her
successfully checked-lists, didn’t fill the hole she was suffering inside.
“It’s just that I can’t make the list every day. When I make the list for three days in
a row, I feel that my life is just a matter of crossing the list.” Perplexed, she realized
it was not a wise solution.
“Within three days, I would become exhausted.” She felt discouraged.
[Q5.0]
As working by herself put her more into solitude, she began to reduce the
frequency of making such a list. Yet, without decreasing her commitment toward
the Department agendas; either voluntarily or agreeably when appointed. She was
full of hope that working together will instill her heart in The Department; since a
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personal approach had failed to do so. She practically just said yes to any job she
was offered to -making this semester the busiest ever for her. Like two sides of a
coin, all the merits she has also come with little shortcoming. Even without feeling
disheartened, she has always been someone who enjoys having a lot of activities –
if not works. Her being highly social leads her to sign up for a bunch of
communities. She just can’t stand being idle that she is often unable to measure her
own capacity and ends up overworking herself. Apart from her works, she is a
member of various communities; Javanese music ensemble with traditional
percussion instruments (Gamelan) of Gayam 16, Speaking club at Sanata Dharma
University, Japanese martial art of Aikido also at the Dojo of Sanata Dharma
University, and other communities which she occasionally goes on and off -such as
gardening club of Jogja berkebun and environmentally trash-shorting campaign of
Gomishori Project.
“To balance my life, so that I am not monotonously working.” Her motivation to

join those communities despite her busy works.
“Well, why not being involved in more activities.” She was so firm on it.
[Q3.iii]
Picture 2. Uke and Gayam 16
She loves everything she does by heart; enough to neglect the fatigue they may
cause. Although Gayam 16 doesn’t consume her time on a regular day by day basis,
76
during each of its annual festivals, she has always voluntarily participated since
2006 as its regular committee. An equal devotion is also shown from her intense
passion for Aikido.
Picture 3. Uke and Aikido
Starting at the same time as when she initially contributed herself to Gayam 16 in
2006, she began practicing Aikido when she was in her third year of studying
English Literature at Sanata Dharma University. Her interest grew deeper as she
was constantly practicing Aikido. Having to move from Jogja for her previous job
at the University of Diponegoro Semarang didn’t stop her from practicing. For
exactly one year, she practiced at the local Dojo where she faithfully met a Sensei
who had implanted the fundamental teachings of Aikido into her heart and her life.
Now, thirteen years after her initial encounter with Aikido, what started as a mere
childish impression has now become a profound way of life. As exaggerating as it
may sound, Uke is indeed valuing Aikido way more than just a martial art.
“It’s part of my life.” Her response when I asked what Aikido means for her.
“Aikido helps building my character.” Describing why she cherishes Aikido to that
extent.
[Q5.iv]
77
She always sincerely believes that Aikido reflects people; that people will show
their true nature when they are on the mat. Aikido –as a word- is a button to her
seem to be no end ‘lecture’ of the philosophy of life. A Little that I can pick up from
her expounding ‘lecture’, though, is that Aikido teaches her to fall with a proper
technique. Yes, to fall instead of to fight! Unlike any other martial arts, she said.
The basic idea of Aikido’s techniques is seeking zero damage, and thus it teaches
its Aikidoka to defense rather than to attack. As it is difficult for me to make sense
of practicing martial art without learning to attack, she argues that Aikido
techniques are practiced out of love; love toward oneself and love toward others.
Learning to fall with proper technique not only secures herself from being harmed,
but its peaceful flow-paced movement neutralizes the attack and hence protects the
other party to also injure himself. Given that she is trained in such non-violent
techniques for more than a decade, she learns to meditate her state of mind by
practicing Mokuso at the beginning and toward the end of the Aikido session. This
philosophical value is pretty much what she has adopted into her life; reflected from
her peaceful and calm normal pattern of conduct.
Yet, determined to feel belonged in the Department by devoting herself with
more works, she gradually –out of her consciousness- reduced her practice
schedule. After all, no one in The Department had ever reminded her of the schedule
–unlike how people used to be at LTC every time she was still working on
something at the office every Monday and Thursday afternoon. As she became
more aware of The Department’s agenda, she once again ran into a brick wall when
noticing the lack of coordination and togetherness here.

78
“let’s exclude personal life, even when it is about work, there was this particular
agenda which was not shared with the other.” She referred to an event once held
by the Department.
“So there once an agenda which was not shared. There were only some people
being informed.” Feeling incredulous, she went on.
“How many people are there? There are only nine!” She finished with a shoulder
shrug, out of her disbelief.
[Q4.viii]
By the time, it had almost been a year since she skipped her Aikido practice and
focused solely on work. She started to lose the balance of her life which took a toll
on her toleration. As hard as she was trying to understand these people, she was left
with no other choice but to judge their work ethic. The stress she was trying to cope
with intensified when the bridging program for the fresh students which supposedly
conducted early at the beginning of the semester had not yet been done even when
the end of the semester was approaching. Having forgotten the spirit of Mokuso led
her becoming so frontal like she had never been before. She got overly irritated and
annoyed since everyone gave excuse after another excuse to keep postponing the
program. On the day when they finally had the meeting with it as the agenda, people
were so visibly agitated. Her incredulous stare was so obviously fixed to those who
lunged out of their seat, excusing themselves from the meeting for personal -or
similarly- family matters. Such excuse was abusively used not only once in this
particular meeting but had been repeatedly used during occasions; as if habit. She
decided that she had had enough of tolerating their negligence and couldn’t be more
understanding than she had been either. She made her objection clear to people not
only from the cold frowning stare but also from her long deep guttural exhale;
which one alone was such an audacity for her old-self. As much as she was
79
agonized to do so, she ended up scolding them for they didn’t seem to grasp the
urgency of the program. Hence, she gained a new reputation among the people of
The Department. Like her shock when coming to a realization of how people work
‘together’ in The Department, they were no less taken aback for learning how
tensed she could become and somehow –as far as she observed- slightly ‘grateful’
for becoming their to-do list alarm.
“I believe people would have agreed on me being angry. It’s just that, they are not
accustomed to that kind of culture.” She told me what she learned from this mishap.
“But the funny thing is, they do realize that ‘if we were not told to do so, we would
not do it.’”. Illustrating her colleagues’ thoughts.
“I mean those kinds of things are ridiculous, right? There is no sense of urgency.
She wrapped up her opinion.
[Q4.vii]
As she dealt with more projects and works with them, she kept learning new
things from them; in an unfavorable way, unfortunately. Her disappointment grew
when starting to notice that what might cause them to be less capable of working as
a team was that they seemed to have their own purpose and thus went to their own
separate ways.
“Because when I was working here, we shared all of our vision. We had our
collective purpose; so we had that mutual objective.” Referring to how things work
at LTC.
“So when I moved there, I didn’t see the purpose. And people there have their own
purpose.” She once again can’t help but pointing the wholesale change of the
working environment.
“There is no such thing as collective collegial there.” Disappointed, she added.
[Q4.v]
The mayhem took its peak during the critical moments of the upcoming
accreditation. She once again could not believe how people put their priority that
80
they had to be told off to do things they were assigned to rather than independently
out of their own consciousness fulfilling the duty. During the last meeting on the
day before the submission deadline of the required documents, she threw the hardest
blow she could possibly throw. When she was meticulously reviewing the format
of pages to pages of the document, some seemingly got themselves ready to leave.
Or else, while her fingers busily clicking her keyboard and mouse interchangeably
struggling with the documents by herself, some were concentrating on sheets after
sheets of their students’ final. Most were confining themselves in their own cubicle,
leaving her occupying that oval glass-layered table herself. Not only that she was
physically exhausted, her emotion was also drained that the tense was quickly
escalated.
“If I see someone is leaving, I will stop doing this.” Boldly, she held everyone to
stay put.
“If you go home Sir, I’ll go home. If you go home Sir, I will not send this” She
directly addressed her superior and even one of The Department’s seniors.
“Everyone is finishing their scoring report, I actually want to do the same.” This
time, cynically referring to those who were busy marking their students’ final sheet.
“How about this; should I not finish this?” She daringly protested.
[Q4.v]
She was fully aware of how harsh and aggravating her words were, but she just had
completely given up on them. She no longer knew how to deal with them, neither
did she care about how they would think of her after this. She had given her best to
be part of The Department emotionally; enough that she’d been hurt each time she
failed her attempts. Now, she came to the conclusion that to survive being among
them was for her to imitate what she had been exemplified.
81
“What has become my tag-line after finishing the accreditation is ‘let’s be selfish’.
That’s it.” Out of her despair, she shared her new resolution.
“If that’s the case, I’ll think about myself too. As simple as that.” She sounded so
firm, but with no spark of enthusiasm.
[Q4.vii]
It is saddening to see something so fundamental changed from her, but it might also
be good to let herself lose considering that The Department is where she would be
at long after this. This time, she finally caved in and accepted the fact that she had
become a misfit in The Department. And though it’s not okay, and would never be,
she was ready to be an outcast. Even now after two years, still, she doesn’t feel like
she belongs in The Department.
“Well, even now I am feeling like I’ve become a public enemy.” She began, full of
bitterness.
[Q4.ix]
“It felt so lonely, very lonely. I mean I am not happy; that feeling when you are not
fulfilling your soul needs.” She continued with a long face.
“I am now in the process of fulfilling myself with my own self.” With a slight nod,
she ended.
[Q4. xii]
F. The Fledgling and its First Flutters: The Beginning and the Planning
Everyone who has been in her life for quite some time will easily notice that
there are at least two passions in her life; Aikido and reading. While Aikido can
fulfill her emotional content, reading can somehow fulfill her intellectual content,
patching the hollow she felt inside.
“If you want to be empowered, you must read.” She firmly stated.
[Q2.0]
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1. Forays into the world
Like the spirit of Aikido which has run through her vein, her passion for
reading was rooted since her younger ages. She is pretty much indebted to his
father, from whom she met Pak Wancu; a significant person in her way of finding
enjoyment in reading. Pak Wancu was a close colleague of his father and they
occasionally met up outside the office. On several occasions his father decided to
visit Pak Wancu at his house, he often asked Uke to tag along. She was a junior
high school student when her father first took her to Pak Wancu’s house. Instead of
sitting idly while getting bored of listening to the adults’ talk she barely caught up
with, she was glad that she could escape to Taman Bacaan (mini library) that Pak
Wancu opened in his front yard. And although it’s not too big in size, his Taman
Bacaan kept various collections of book, comic, magazine, novel series and other
kinds of reading which all were publically open for rent. She was ecstatic to
discover more kinds of readings apart from Bobo; the magazine she had always read
ever since primary school. She would scan through every shelf and skim every title
on the side of the books to find the one she loved. And each time, she was always
drawn to Animorphs; series of children books telling about the adventures of five
kids owning an ability to transform themselves into animals with their touch. This
science fiction series had gripped her into an addiction. While other kids at her age
would read Tiga Sekawan, Aneka, or Fantasy, she had one of these series on her
hand each time she had some spare time to read. She was engrossed into the story
as her eyes diligently moved left to right and back and forth along the line while
her right-hand fingers readily flipped page by page of the book. The series had then
83
put another meaning into a visit to Pak Wancu’s house. Visiting his place was no
longer her kind gesture of not wanting to feel bad on refusing her father’s invitation,
but rather had become a highly anticipated trip for her. At times, she would eagerly
ask his father to bring her to Pak Wancu’s house only to get a discount when renting
another series of Animorphs. Other times, when she lost her patience of waiting for
her father to take her there, she would dashingly get on the bus after school to the
Taman Bacaan. Sitting on the bus all the way from SMP N 3 Yogyakarta at
Pajeksan to Glagah Sari where Pak Wancu’s Taman Bacaan was, she had already
planned of which Animorphs series she would be renting while calculating the rest
of her allowance she had on her pocket; counting how many books she could afford
to rent. This series is what had initially arisen her preference for reading books or
comics whose story revolves around the innocent life of children; light moral values
from which she can easily relate to.
“So, indeed, I have started enjoying that kind of book since long ago –a book which
tells about kids.” She came to realize her book preference.
“I think because it’s pure, unlike drama. The story in the book is so real, unlike the
story in dramas that are so scripted.” She ended rather sarcastically as addressing
the ‘drama’ in dramas.
[Q2.iii]
Since then, she has always had the same preference for a book. Growing up and
even until now, her list of books selection always revolves around children's
characters in a magical-world fiction novel.
While as a child and student she could only rent by spending some from her
allowance or borrow from a friend what she wanted to read, now as grown-up
having her own income. Although she never rigidly allocates some exact budget for
84
buying books, they have seemed to become one of her biggest expenses. This what
also puts some sort of magical spell on a piece of red cardboard with a “Sale” or
“Discount” printed on it for her. I could tell how easily she could get tempted and
blinded by such marketing strategy –I must say- when almost three years ago she
bought these series of audiobooks from Mizan worth for two million rupiahs. When
the books arrived at our office –LTC at that time- in two big boxes, she herself was
quite stunned for she didn’t expect to receive those many books. And after all of
the euphoria admiring the books, those were neatly re-packed and regrettably left
unread. Being children books, literally written for 1-5 years old toddler, those books
were not meant for her to read. They were an investment for her children in the
future, she said. Although her fond of reading has no longer a piece of news for all
of us, we couldn’t help but think of how un-realistic that was; being single and had
already prepared her –remote- future children books to read. Over time, those two
boxes of books were almost forgotten. It was only a year after buying the books
when she decided to entrust them to Ara, the daughter of Umi –one of our mutual
colleagues. Uke was more than happy when hearing that such a young girl -2 years
old at that time- like her was so fond of reading and was eagerly asking Umi to buy
her some books for she wanted to have her own Taman Bacaan. Without a second
thought, she gladly offered one box of her collection of audiobooks that she kept at
the office during the past year.
“Because many other people can read those books, children can read those books;
and those books are indeed good books.” She explained why she didn’t hesitate at
all to let go of the books.
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“If children read those books and they get something out of it, and they are
influenced by the good things in the books, that would make me so happy.” With a
genuine smile, she ended.
[Q2.xviii]
It was her joy to share the excitement of reading with others, mostly to those of the
younger ones. She doesn’t need to be told off that reading has rarely been an
amusement for most Indonesians, and so it is her sincere dream to see a new
generation who are fond of reading. When hearing about Ara’s wish, she felt a hope
welling up on her. A hope of finally having the generation who are not taking books
as something unbearable, who are not feeling tormented when having to read, who
are not associating reading to a grievance.
Driven to realize this dream, or at the very least to be of any help of
encouraging reading, she also contributes herself through her community service
programs. It was her first community service after being appointed as a lecturer
when she –as named as the chairperson- initiated a “Happy English Days with Arts
and Songs” program. Together with two colleagues from the English department,
she designed some fun activities for Elementary School students which combines
reading, story-telling, and drawing. Given that the program was intended for
students in 4th grade, she didn’t have a high expectation except to see those children
enjoying themselves with the activities and to finally grow interest to read. Thus,
together with her team, they carefully picked the seemingly most interesting book
and transferred the story into some simple and short chunks of sentences typed in
some attractive and fully-colored illustrations PowerPoint slides. Her best choice
of the book to be used at that time was Egghead: A true story of bullying and
86
friendship by Michael Lacey Freeman. This storybook was chosen by the
consideration of how bullying in Indonesia had sadly become such trending
discussion for cases after cases were reported to happen way too frequently.
Bringing up the topic to these children, she thought, could serve as the precaution
by triggering their awareness to fight against such wrongdoing action. Beginning
to conduct the program together with the facilitator she was working with, her
mental was lifted as she was witnessing the enthusiasm of these children. It was
satisfying to see how those cute and small eyes were glued to the slides immersed
with how the story went on. On top of that, she was also contented for they were
still attentively following the guidance throughout the final activity; when they
were instructed to design cards with some greetings in English by either imitating
or modifying some predesigned greeting card examples. All of those cards’
greetings were taking the theme of bullying; a message they want to tell their friends
who hypothetically were bullied, or else the invitation to fight bullying together.
“It worked pretty well. If I may say, its success rate was around 98%.” She
expressed her satisfaction with the program.
“I can see those children happiness. Because it benefited multimodality –not just-
instead of mere reading activity. Even the reading was simply to retell; but those
children were happy.” She was beaming as she continued.
“Those children completed all of the projects, and almost 100% of the projects
were accomplished.” She proudly made her claim.
[Q13.0]
Shortly after the completion of the program, she gained more confidence and grew
higher expectations that she would repeat the same success of implementing ER for
her grammar class; she expected.

87
Picture 4. Happy English Days with Arts and Songs
2. As right as rain
Sharing what we love will multiply the joy, and so she believes. She is at her
happiest when she can contribute herself toward promoting reading during her
Community Service programs. However, her being inferior would make her
lingering with the thought that she is too small to give and that she lacks the capacity
of giving. Mostly with her ongoing revision project of the implementation of ER
for her Grammar class, she questioned herself more than when she did during her
Community Service programs. The stake is higher and the expectation is greater for
she daringly reforms the initial curriculum itself. This, as her positive personality
of always taking the good out of the bad, leads her to the awareness of empowering
herself. And so throughout her journey of drafting, designing, revising, and
redesigning the RPS (semester teaching plan) for her Grammar class, she never
stopped learning. Having a specific strong passion for ER, she has always been in
active pursuit of ER enrichment; be it through books and journal readings,
numerous chances of either formal and less-formal discussion among colleagues,
or else through her participation and involvement on several occasions of seminar,
workshop, and conference.

88
Compare to her other class that she had in other departments, this Grammar
class was such a burden for she has to ensure students’ grammar intake. And like
always, she turned to books and journals as her references. Although she admitted
that reading those journals and books did not excite her the way children-characters
books does to her, she knew more than anyone else that those books and journals
were her kind-of lifeline. Among many piles of copies on her desk, folders of
resources on her laptop, and numbers of websites she bookmarked, it was these
three books which prominently helped her formulating her thought; Extensive
Reading Activities for Teaching Language edited by Bamford and Day (2004),
Reading and Study Skills by Langan (2002), and Teaching Reading Skills in a
Foreign Language by Nuttall (2005).
As being published by Cambridge University Press and by the fact that
Bamford and Day themselves were among those who had established the Extensive
Reading Foundation, the book was always with her during the initial process of the
RPS drafting. This book, hence, had seemingly become a manual for her to design
her own classroom activities. Similar to Bamford and Day who present some
practical elaboration on their book, Langan writes about some useful reading skills
which college students must master to succeed in their study. This 656 pages book
helped her with some basic principles when adapting some reading activities she
planned -to achieve the utmost effectivity for the targeted skill. Lastly, Nuttal’s
book was not any less significant than the previous two for it once again gave her
more techniques to maneuver from one reading activity to another, from
incorporating certain skill to which selected activity. The book basically combines
89
the ‘what’ and the ‘how’ of teaching reading skills for foreign language learners.
And this was just exactly what she needed to help her students becoming an
effective reader.
Besides finding resolution from reading, she was also actively enrolling
herself in numerous workshops and conferences. And throughout all which she
participated in, one had led her to a place where she had never once imagined.
Similar to how Pak Wancu had helped to initiate her joy of reading, it is Bu Yuseva
another prominent figure in her life who helps open a door and assists her in
building the pathway to upscale her reading passion to the next level. August 2017
was the time she was first acquainted with her, while she was preparing her
presentation at The 4th Extensive Reading World Congress held in Tokyo Japan.
That latter she would have the honor to be among some big names in ER was never
in the picture for she had no clue who Bu Yuseva was. They grew a bit closer when
meeting again during the three days congress. They were learning more about each
other, on how they respectively were driven and dedicated toward ER and thus
decided to get involved in several projects together - ER projects from which Uke
had fully come to the realization of how inspiring and insightful Bu Yuseva’s vision
is. Bu Yuseva has been named as the Chair of the Indonesian Extensive Reading
Association (hereafter will be addressed as IERA) since its first initiation in 2016.
For officially affiliated with the Extensive Reading Foundation (ERF), IERA helps
encouraging ERF’s objective to promote literacy awareness by actively conducting
trainings and workshops to stimulate students’ interest in reading and more
importantly to provide insights for education practitioners and the policymakers on

90
the significance of reading. All of these make it a perfect place for Uke to channel
her passion for reading and also to gain more enrichments she was striving to
complete the RPS for her Grammar class. By Bu Yuseva’s discretion, she was
invited to also join IERA. Uke benefited her being in the group by gaining more of
classroom activity ideas from the members’ experiences and she also took the
chances to also eagerly share some of what she had done in her class. Being actively
involved in the discussion of the best practices among all of the members, she was
lifted. The emptiness she has been agonizing from all this long gradually faded. She
finally found herself in a place where she felt she should belong to; among those
who are marching toward the same cause, who are struggling the same battle as
hers, who are dedicating all their best to achieve the same goal.
“I felt like I finally received support,” this time, in a joyful tone.

“By support, I mean I have a place where I can go to find the information I needed.
I know to whom I should ask the questions I have.” She shared her feelings being
in the group.
“So it felt like I’m in my pond.” She concluded.
[Q9.0]
Not long after she officially became a member of IERA, another great opportunity
knocked on the door. As part of its commitment to promote ER, IERA was
organizing its first ER workshop roadshow. And to begin the series of the
workshop, right on two months before her Grammar class started, she was offered
to take the honor of joining Bu Yuseva’s presentation when representing IERA at
the 15th JETA International Conference held in Yogyakarta on 2 July 2018. She
was entrusted to talk about her experience of last year’s class when she was piloting
the implementation of ER in her Grammar class. Standing there, talking about how
91
she tried to implement ER in her Grammar class and her struggle to cope with the
disadvantage of teaching English in non-English Department, brought light to
herself. What she had done with her class was never a mistake; it was not a
retaliation toward The Department. And although deep down she always believed
in it, having people listening to her with their willingness to learn from her
experience reassured her heart. She was now determined to spread the ‘virus’, and
her being involved in the roadshow was just a perfect means for that.
After JETA in Yogyakarta, the roadshow continued to some of its
neighboring cities –Solo and Salatiga- and Uke had planned to join both. One
among all members of IERA joining the roadshow was Pak Willy Renandya;
someone she had never once dreamed of to know in person, a name which she
thought she would only see written in the books and journal she read, a figure that
she had so far seen only by attending his workshop and presentation. Now that she
was personally introduced to him, she was charmed and impressed by his modesty
and highly-driven personality. He humbly listened to Uke as she took the chances
of consulting the concern she had with her Grammar class all through the miles
during the road trip from cities to cities.
“That would be fine. For any course, it would be fine,” Pak Willy assured her.
“The most important thing is that you implement a part of ER in the course”. He
went on with his sincere advice.
[Q7.0]
Receiving such answer, Uke had now felt like her decision was officially legit. The
doubt, although still left with some worries, had gone. She became more firm with
her decision, way more than before.

Table 2. Uke’s Conferences and Workshops in ER

Participat
Date Name of the Agenda Location Title of Paper/Presentation
ory
Read and Predict Together: Introducing EFL Students to
9–12 August 2019 The 5th Extensive Reading World Congress Presenter Feng Chia University, Taichung, Taiwan
Peer Reading
2019 IERA Roadshow/Workshop: Extensive Reading
30 April 2019 Presenter Institut Teknologi Bandung (ITB), Bandung Extensive Reading: What Is It? Why Matters?
Why & How?
2019 IERA Roadshow/Workshop: Extensive Reading SMAK PENABUR Intercultural School (PIS)
29 April 2019 Presenter Extensive Reading: What Is It? Why Matters?
Why & How? Bandung
27 April 2019 Presenter Sampoerna University, Jakarta Extensive Reading: What Is It? Why Matters?
Why & How?
26 April 2019 Presenter MyAmerica Jakarta. US Embassy Jakarta Extensive Reading: What Is It? Why Matters?
Why & How?
2019 IERA Roadshow/Workshop: Extensive Reading Universitas Muhammadiyah Yogyakarta (UMY),
24 April 2019 Presenter Extensive Reading: What Is It? Why Matters?
Why & How? Yogyakarta
Workshop on TEFLIN West Java and Banten Chapter
13 December 2018 Presenter Universitas Pendidikan Indonesia (UPI), Bandung Extensive Reading: What Is It? Why Matters?
Extensive Reading
The 5th International Language and Language Teaching Follow up activities and contributing factors to the
30 Nov - 1 Dec 2018 Presenter Sanata Dharma University, Yogyakarta
Conference success of extensive reading in EFL setting
12-14 July 2018 65th TEFLIN International Conference Presenter Universitas Negeri Makassar (UNM), Makassar ESP Teacher Self-Reflection in Teaching Reading
IERA: A Bridge to Introducing Extensive Reading in
7 July 2018 2018 IERA Roadshow: Extensive Reading Workshop Presenter Universitas Katholik Atmajaya, Jakarta
Indonesian Schools
6 July 2018 2018 IERA Roadshow: Extensive Reading Workshop Presenter Universitas Kristen Indonesia (UKI), Jakarta
Indonesian Schools
4 July 2018 2018 IERA Roadshow: Extensive Reading Workshop Presenter Universitas Kristen Satya Wacana (UKSW), Salatiga
Indonesian Schools
3 July 2018 2018 IERA Roadshow: Extensive Reading Workshop Presenter Universitas Sebelas Maret, Surakarta
Indonesian Schools
Universitas Pembangunan Yogyakarta (UPY), IERA: A Bridge to Introducing Extensive Reading in
2 July 2018 15th JETA International Conference Presenter
Yogyakarta Indonesian Schools
Students' Autonomy in Extensive Reading Class: Does
13-14 March 2018 iTELL Conference Presenter Best Western Premier Hotel, Solo
the Internet Help Me?
Feb 2018 LTC Best Practices Presenter Language Training Centre (LTC) UMY, Yogyakarta Alternative Activities for Reading
The 4th International Language and Language Teaching
3-4 November 2017 Presenter Sanata Dharma University, Yogyakarta ER Follow-up Activities
Conference
Students' Perspective on Teacher's Written Feedback in
5-7 August 2017 The 4th Extensive Reading World Congress Presenter Tokyo University, Tokyo Japan
EFL Reading Activity
Sharing practices: Extensive Reading in Vietnamese
11 March 2017 Participant Universitas Achmad Dahlan (UAD), Yogyakarta -
Context
92
“And so while having the conversation, inside of my head, I kept thinking that it’s
okay to have Grammar class. But still, I would implement Extensive Reading.” With
full of enthusiasm, she was recalling the moment.
“That’s what I’ve been meaning to do. And luckily, Pak Willy also has the same
idea. Only that he puts it in different words.” She was connecting all the dots and
came to her conclusion.
[Q7.0]
The roadshow had since no longer been only a mission she has with IERA but had
also become her own personal journey of reaffirming her determination to embed
ER in her Grammar class. Not wanting to lose the momentum, and for the feeling
of gratitude for the enlightenment, she was easily persuaded to change her plan of
stopping only at Universitas Kristen Satya Wacana (UKSW), Salatiga when asked
to continue participating in the last three workshops to be held in Jakarta. Fatigue
was the last thing she considered, works left unattended for leaving The Department
longer can take some further arrangements later. Once the workshop in Salatiga
ended, she parted with the team and hurriedly returned to Yogyakarta; not to get
back with her work but simply to get some clothes for a change at home. On the
following day, she had joined back the team to hold the workshop at Universitas
Kristen Indonesia (UKI) and later at Universitas Katholik Atmajaya –missing the
previous one at Universitas Islam Negeri (UIN) for still being on the route. Since
then, she continued her active participation in IERA until recently she presented in
five venues of its second roadshow in 2019 without fail. In IERA, she has found
another place for her heart to be committed to, the same strong commitment she
shows for Aikido and Gayam 16.
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Picture 5. Uke and 2019 IERA Roadshow
Still driven with the same spirit, she never stopped promoting ER and thus
became more productive to write in the subject area and to present her findings in
several conferences. Once she realized, the start of the new odd semester when she
had to have the Grammar class was near. Thus, together with boss Luluk, she
planned a gateway. Experienced in planning her own itinerary from all of her
previous trips, she is an expert in finding affordable and plausible accommodation.
She googled and scanned through many travel websites and happily found a nice
budget hotel room to book; a sanctuary for her and boss Luluk to finish all their
unfinished works. For her, the priority would be her Grammar class’ RPS. For the
whole two days and one night, she quarantined herself in the room immersed in the
completion of the RPS. At times she would discuss and ask opinion from boss Luluk
regarding how the activity should proceed, or things related to the order of the skills
and objectives of the unit, or some other practical details on her overall meeting
plan and assessment. Most of the time, though, as both were resolute to spend a
productive time, there was silence. Thing which rarely happens, or even nearly
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impossible in other different scenarios, when both are left in the same room. By the
time they had to check out from the hotel, she was pleased for having met the target
she set.
“I had never prepared any other courses up to this detail before.” She proudly told
me.
“So, I really prepared every little detail of this course. Up to its detailed activity
for each meeting in one semester. What I want to score them from.” She elaborated
on her rigid plan for the class.
[Q1.ii]
G. Uphill Battle: Application and Challenges
The day has finally come; 20 September 2018 commenced her Grammar
class for the odd semester of 2018/2019. She grew anxious for soon repeating the
same cycle of last year’s once a week meeting teaching grammar, but was also
excited for the thought of exposing her students to 100 minutes-long ER at each
meeting. In the first meeting, there was a mix of expressions among students when
they were listening to her explanation of what they should anticipate for the whole
semester ahead. When informed that they would not be learning grammar as how
they had learned it back at high school, they showed enthusiasm and applaud the
idea. Grammar was never fun for most people learning English, and that what might
have also been the case for them; and so she ensured them that they would not learn
the ‘Subject-Verb’ kind of grammar. Yet, as she moved on with her slides, there
was a turn on their expression. They were a bit taken aback upon learning that they
would read most of the time during the class. She started to introduce Reading Log
when she mentioned her plan to advise them completing five books per month, from
which one point would be added to their overall scoring for each of the books they
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successfully completed. They were askance; tilting their head in doubt and
exchanging looks as if they could read each other’s mind. The thought of having to
read fifteen books in one single semester and that the number of the book they read
contributes to their scoring did not sound that fun anymore. Uke, of course, had
seen the forecast of what students might perceive. And so she focused the objective
of her RPS on those two main issues; to change their perception of reading and to
consequently assist them in discovering grammar throughout their readings. She
was firmed with her syllabus. She promised herself that –compared to the last
semester’s painful experience- she would do better this semester. For her strong
passion for reading, and in her attempt to fulfill herself, she is ready to challenge
herself with any possible difficulty when embarking herself into this journey.
1. Bending the wind
For building reading habits seems to be rather unrealistic to achieve with
very restricted allocation and a short period of time, her more feasible goal for the
class was to at least change her students’ perspective on reading.
“Actually, my goal is to make them enjoy reading first. Not yet to the extent of
building a reading habit.” She tried to be realistic with her course objective.
“I want them to start enjoying reading and change their perspective that reading
English is not difficult.” She ended with affirmation.
[Q14.0]
She wanted to help them figure out which kind of reading they are actually into so
that they eventually find the joy of reading, arousing a sense of accomplishment
when reading and realize their time spent to read is worth it.
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a. Graded Readers
As to how she has her specific preference for fiction with children characters
living in a magical world, she believes that most people hate reading only because
they don’t understand their topic of interest. That they are not yet recognizing their
own reading preference.
“They just don’t understand how reading can be fun,” a bit frustrated she said.
“that’s because they haven’t read the one that suits their preference.” Reasoning
what might have been the cause.
[Q2.ii]
This is the sole reason why she strongly imposes Graded Readers to stimulate and
help her students –if not people in general- find their way of enjoying reading. Back
in 2017, when she was attending the Sharing Practices: Extensive Reading in
Vietnamese Context held by Universitas Achmad Dahlan (UAD) Yogyakarta, she
was first introduced to the concept of reading based on each individual’s
comprehension level and interest through www.readWorks.org. While she began to
study the web, learning how abundantly the web had provided reading sources in a
wide range of topics for each respective level, she began to make sense of the idea
of taking the benefit out of reading for pleasure for academic achievement. As
times, as she learned more about ER, she came across a more similar website
www.er-central.com which she then used for her Grammar class reading activities.
She prefers the latter web to the former one, for er-central reflects the same
approach as ER. With readWorks, despite providing the link to various readings
completed with some pre and post activities, she has to assign the reading for her
students; somehow directing what they should and can read. She found it to be less
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relevant with her goal of giving her students free will and free access to what
readings they are interested in. With er-central, on the other hand, students can
freely explore through its Library tab to select their own readings as they wish. And
that is exactly what she wanted. She wanted her students to start independently
search for the most suitable reading for them, without her having to assign them
each time–otherwise, their reading won’t be for pleasure any longer. And so after
some meticulous trial and comparison of both platform’s features, she contemplated
and decided to lean more on using er-central.
To top her happiness of having readily accessible and free reading sources
form the web, she had also prepared collections of Graded Readers for her students
to choose from. After her 2017 Grammar class had ended, God graced her goodwill
to promote reading by giving her the best luck of all when getting picked as the
winner of book lottery during her participation at The 4th Extensive Reading World
Congress. When the long wait had finally ended, and the package has safely arrived
at her office, she was thrilled to let everyone in the IERA know; offering the book
to be borrowed when needed. Having the books on her hands, increased her greed.
She was greedy to have more selections of Graded Readers. She always loves
buying books, and Graded Readers are another perfect excuse for her to spend some
more; an investment for her class. She bought her very first bundle of Graded
Readers online, from Mentari Books Indonesia. One Graded Readers could cost
from Rp. 70,000; to Rp. 100.000; depending on its number of pages, level, and
publisher. Since she didn’t receive any funding from The Department to make the
purchase, restricting the number of books she could afford with her own expenses,
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she cleverly asked her colleagues from the English department to also buy some on
different levels and topics. This way, they could share them all together; exchanging
titles and levels when they need more selections for their students respectively.
With these new Graded Readers, she thought, she would be giving her students
more varied choices.
Since she can’t possibly manage to bring all the Graded Readers to the class,
each time before teaching she would pack around 80 to 100 books into her tote bag,
carefully selected to range from the Starter level to the most advanced one -Level
12. Each time heading to have the class, she would have her laptop on her backpack,
firmly gripped the canvas tote bag full of Graded Readers with her right hand, while
holding the folder of attendance list and pencil case for markers and the key to the
classroom on her bent left arm. With all that many readings from er-central, it
should have been enough without her having to carry all those Graded Readers to
and from the classroom. But she chose to do that each time, only to evidence how
she was committed to it.
Back to the first meeting of her Grammar class, she arranged all of those
books onto her desk and explained what Graded Readers are to her students, and
how they can appropriately benefit the books. She showed them pages of the Starter
level to Level 12 to illustrate their gap and told them to pick the one they can easily
read and understand page by page without consulting a dictionary. One or two new
vocabularies in a page are normal, but more than that indicates an inappropriate
level.
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“If you find it difficult, meaning that what you read is not the one suitable for you.”
She encouraged her students to vary their choices.
[observation]
In turns, in a group of four or five, students would come up front swarming her desk
to pick one out of the piles; and she would patiently assist them suggesting title they
might like and helped them check their level.
Picture 6. Reading Graded Readers
Before giving them time to read their chosen Graded Readers, Uke took out this
novel from her backpack –The Girl Who Drank the Moon by Kelly Barnhill. She
shared her story of how reading the novel finally led her to a realization of her
reading preference after quite sometimes. She told them that once, she was also
skeptical about reading and was doubtful when told that people could not literally
spend a day without reading; until she found the novel. The novel taught her how
engrossed she could be to the story that she would forget the lapse of time when
having the novel on her hand, how upsetting it was to be forced to stop reading for
other things to do, and how satisfying it was to finally complete the whole 386-
pages the novel has. Sharing her own experience, she hoped for the same motivation
among her students to keep reading until they find one that ‘clicks’, the kind of
reading that can keep them occupied joyfully. Once she ensured everyone had their
own preferred book matching their level, she gave them time to read; took her own
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reading and read with them. Nothing else was going on inside the class except
reading. Once at a time, she would go telling them to switch to another title when
they found it less stimulating even though they can understand it perfectly. She
wanted to re-affirm that reading should be fun, and to read something fun to you
should come before anything else. In most of the meetings throughout the semester,
with every meeting objective, all activities started with reading.
Picture 7. Reading Activity
Expecting that students would have been more familiar to read inside the
class she also encouraged them to start reading outside the class. At her office, right
across from her U-shaped desk at the outer corner of her cubicle, she had neatly
arranged all of her Graded Readers in this four-leveled quadrant book rack; which
she named as Membaca Bersama Library. She invited her students and allowed
anyone else to come and select the ones out of those books in multi-levels and
publishers -Heinle Cengage Learning, Oxford University Press, Seed Learning,
Pearson Longman, Cambridge University Press, Macmillan, Henemann ELT, Early
Blackbirds, Macquarie University Press- to bring home and read.
However, things didn’t turn as to how she expected it would be. Although
one additional point would be added for each book they have completed reading,
she realized that their interest in reading had still been motivated by classroom
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engagement. She was checking and monitoring the names listed on the form she
made to keep the track of the book being borrowed which she kept at the top level
of the rack occasionally, and noticed that they showed very low interest to read
outside.
Picture 8. Membaca Bersama Library
“So I bought some Graded Readers myself, I advertised those books, but still no
one was interested to read them,” she shared her disappointment.
“except the time when I used them as the classroom activity and made them as an
assignment. When those were the case, they would come and borrow some books.
If not, there was still no voluntary reading among them.” She evaluated the
situation.
[Q11.i]
Although she was kind of sad about it, she realized that she should not be broken-
hearted. With little that she had, she should not put her hope too high.
“But that was okay because the basic premise of ER is that it must be done over a
long period of time to succeed.” She kept her positivism maintained.
[Q11.i]
b. Extensive Reading Gathering
Besides combining face to face meetings and online learning, she also
moved her class outside. Being in IERA had given her a chance to be connected
with more ER practitioners from other universities. Thus, together with some other
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IERA members based in Yogyakarta, she organized a collaboration project of
Extensive Reading Gathering among The Department, English Education
Department of UMY, and English Education Department of UKDW Yogyakarta.
The gathering took two meetings from the total 16 meetings she has for the
semester.
Picture 9. ER Gathering 1
The first ER Gathering was held on 27 October 2018. All agendas in this
four-hours-long gathering were all aimed at once again persuading those resistance
mindsets toward reading into believing the actual benefits one can achieve through
reading. In between some engaging and fun reading activities, interactive online
games and small quizzes full of prizes, two guests were invited to share how reading
had changed or shaped their life. Jordyna Austine was the first young and inspiring
figure to first share her experience with ER; how her now becoming a part-time
traveler and writer was possible only because of her hobby to read novels. The way
she talked and chronologically told her experience was very elaborate that kept
everyone engaged. Many of the students showed their interest by asking her several
questions; mostly about how to overcome boredom when reading or how to make
time to read. Similar to what can be learned from Jordyna that ER can help opening
great opportunities that might never cross our mind before, the next avid reader
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invited was even younger but did not any less fail to stunt everyone. Graziela
Dunarto was a sixteen-year-old high schooler –by that time- whose reading habit
had led her to become excel in English; receiving 610 for TOEFL score without
having to study. As a student having to attend her classes and for some other
reasons, however, she could not physically be there but instead prepared a video
message shown from two big screens in front of the hall for everyone to watch.
Despite her age, she seemed to be very mature as she humbly recollected her
experiences of how she first found reading to be fun until how she successfully had
two of her short stories published.
Right after the successful first ER Gathering, she already initiated the
preparation for the second gathering held on the following month -17 November
2018. This time, the gathering was held not only in collaboration between UMY
and UKDW but was also possible due to the support of Kelas Pagi Yogyakarta –an
art and education community- for lending the venue at Jl. Brigjen Katamso,
Yogyakarta. The only thing she regretted the most was that her Grammar class’
students couldn’t make time to participate in it; given that it was held outside their
regular scheduled day and that they couldn’t absent from their other classes of the
day. Nevertheless, she refused to let go of the event and invited her students from
the previous academic year of Grammar class -2017 batch- to join the gathering.
That shouldn’t be a problem, she thought –once again showing her positivism. She
could still prepare them for the same activity she designed for the gathering later
when having the class. Taking the gathering as to pilot the activity for her in-class
activity, she proceeded.

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Continuing the same mission of the previous one, this second gathering was
similarly designed as the encouragement of welcoming reading as an option of
having fun. Days before the event, As many as 80 students invited were sent a
scanned-version of one chosen Graded Readers to read ahead so that on the due day
they could actively participate in some interactive games -specifically modified and
designed from the story of the book’s story. Early after the event started, they were
divided into three big groups and in turn, were assigned into three challenges; one
at a time as the groups circulated from challenge to challenge within the 45 minutes
allocated time for each.
Picture 10. ER Gathering 2
While the other facilitators -from PBI UMY and PBI UKDW- took charge of the
other two challenges, Uke handled the one whose mission is to write a chinquain –
a five lines poem. She asked them to recall the story of the Graded Readers given
and then retold one specific thing about the story they remember the most in five
lines only. Their choice could vary, from their favorite character, an interesting
event of the storyline, to possibly the new unfamiliar phrases or expressions they
found while reading. For most of them, writing chinquain was something new and
so they found it interesting. They had some fun discussing and asking their friends
opinion of how they should sum up everything in a very specific number of a
syllable in each line; two, four, six, eight and two consecutively. Uke would walk
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around and monitor how each of them designed theirs, and since there was no right
or wrong in doing this, she simply let them be creative with their chinquain. The
other two groups were also greatly attentive to their own challenges. One group
was hypothetically played the role of one of the main characters of the story and
write a letter to the other character in the story; referring to one specific event
happening between the two. Other groups showed great excitement as they were
playing Uno Stacko. This Jengga-like game had been modified that instead of
having numbers or colors or signs on its both ends of the cube, it was plastered with
some subjective and perspectival questions related to the book’s story; types of
question which showed no wrong or right answer. They would clap and scream
loudly by their excitement when one ruined the stack and got smudged with baby
powder on the face.
When all was finished, her energy was drained replaced by satisfaction. She
didn’t mind the paperwork of completing the project report to receive the
reimbursement for her money spent on both gatherings, in the hope of seeing a more
positive attitude toward reading among her students onward. She wished that all of
these hard works had made them learned that reading can also be done as a way of
spending time together and socialize, that reading can be fun.
2. By the osmosis
Her biggest resistance in teaching grammar comes from her belief that
grammar is meaningless without context. And she did not have even an ounce of
doubt in it. She reflected on how reading has helped her improve. Although she had
no confidence to compare herself to either Jordyna or Graziela, she noticed that

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reading has helped her in at least two areas; her writing style and vocabulary size.
Back in the days when she was pursuing her Master's Degree at Sanata Dharma
University, she had experienced what exactly served her evidence to those.
It was when she was having one of her classes in the education stream with
Pak Muk, one of the senior lecturer at the university, who assigned her with
summary writing. Like with any other assignment, she worked hard on it but
without any expectation of being excel and simply felt grateful that she could meet
all the deadlines. Yet, to her surprise, she received approval from Pak Muk saying
in his low non-inflected Javanese tone and signature smile in front of the class that
hers was the example of what a good summary should be like. She genuinely had
no idea of to what thing she wrote to deserve it; and assumed that it must have been
for her most recent readings.
“I realize that I am influenced by what I am currently reading.” She started

recalling the benefits she takes from reading.
“So whenever I read something simple, my writing will also become simple. And
whenever I read something with unique sentence structures, it will directly ‘match’
with what I’m writing.” She elaborately recalled through her experiences.
“Pak Mukarto had also once told me; complimenting my summary. That because
I’ve just finished reading, I just read something compact.” Proudly, she added.
[Q3.ii]
She believes that what she read will be mirrored through her writing; she could only
write a good summary after reading a good compact reading. And thus, she owed
her readings for the compliment.
Not only affecting the way she writes, but reading also helps her expand her
vocabulary as to how she learned from the latter experience. After juggling between
work and study for four full-of-hardship years, she finally made it stand there at
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Lontar room to defend her thesis. Sitting before her was Pak Bis; one among the
other two board of examiners. She had finished her presentation and came to the
question and answer session when Pak Bis expressed his concern toward the
plagiarism issue in some parts of her thesis chapters. He took the example of the
very sentence in which she used the word ‘prolific’. He claimed the word is one
that not many people know of and is very rarely used, and thus wondered whether
she merely copied and pasted the sentence from book or journal without indicating
any citation. She was perplexed by his doubt but managed to move on with her
defense. The time constraint only allowed her to respond to some prominent issues
regarding the strength of the content of her thesis; leaving some technical issues –
just like one becoming Pak Bis’ concern- left for her homework to revise. However,
as her heart remained uneasy by the skepticism, she felt the need to clarify the
originality of everything she had written in her thesis. She caught up to him when
leaving the Lontar room heading upstairs to his office, to personally explain that
the sentence was indeed her very own writing; that she knew the word and used the
word out of her own intent. This had strangely been what she could remember the
most from her thesis defense. She was once again reassured of how reading could
enrich her with –say- advanced vocabularies without realizing.
“At times when I need the words, they suddenly just pop up; and I was satisfied
with the words because they are the exact words I need.” She recollected some
numerous events when such a thing happened.
“So when we read often, it will happen to us. The vocabularies will be stored by
themselves.” Firmly stated.
[Q3.ii]
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If she could pick up the tone and nuance from her reading and transferred it with
the absence of her awareness into her own writing, and if she could enrich her
diction only from being used to encounter new and possibly less commonly-used
words from her reading without ever purposefully memorizing words by words she
found, she believed that her students could also implicitly improve their grammar
while being exposed to more and more readings –along with her guidance toward
the expected development.
Once she made sure that students had been fully aware of the syllabus and
been also familiar with Graded Readers from the two previous meetings, it was on
the third meeting when she exemplified how they could begin their discovery. For
in-class activity, she was alternatively using Graded Readers and Classroom
Readers; one selected reading specifically intended for the day’s objective. Just like
that day, when she started by asking them to listen to some selected audios and
focused on some missing verbs in the provided transcript; designed to lead them
toward the use of past verbs. Although they considerably had no difficulty to fill in
the blanks, reality hit her when she tried to give them more freedom when selecting
the type of sentences they found to be new or unique. She came to a realization of
how broad the amount of their discovery could be when one was proposing the use
of the past verb in a conditional sentence he read from the reading. Explaining that
it was a good discovery example they could make and discuss, she didn’t restrict
any findings and elaborated the sentence in brief to further encourage them to do
their own research to understand on what context the sentence should be used. By
doing this each time they finished a book for their reading log and shared their
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findings on the e-learning platform, she desperately wished they would successfully
acquire some ‘new sentence patterns’ by the end of the semester. But still, this was
yet the real trait she was about to have ahead.
As she had encouraged them to discover independently outside the
classroom through grammar discovery, she designed other activities to promote
more discoveries inside the class. And thus, bounded by the curriculum, she had to
slightly adjust the principles of ER to focus on assisting her students in terms of
grammar; by which she focused on the big and general tenses only -Present Tense,
Past Tense, Future Tense. She meticulously broke down which reading activities to
fall into which category of tenses and modified the activity accordingly; as when
she asked her students to describe and draw a picture of their favorite character in
the book for present tense, to retell the most memorable event from the book’s story
for past tense, or when she asked them to imagine a perfect gift to be given during
which event in the book to one of the characters for future tense. In several
meetings, she also tried to combine some tenses into one activity in the hope of
triggering them to be more critical when reading and discovering.
Her anxiety each time she was about to have the class was so visible. With
a packed schedule of only a short break between classes, it was often that she had
only minutes to make some final preparation before starting the class. By the
absence of the module, the works seemed to always pile up. Often she had to give
up her lunchtime to hurriedly cut out some blurbs or cue cards for the days’
classroom activity, render some links into QR code to ease students accessing some
online reading and listening sources, skim through the Classroom Readers and
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audio transcript she was going to use as the main activity once again to anticipate
things might need further elaboration, or prepared some practices and their
examples to guide students to their discovery. She was pretty much invested in it.
The day when she was asking them to share their most memorable story
from their reading, for example. She didn’t take much time to lecture in front of the
class and let them worked on their discovery instead. And so during the class after
silent reading session and some brief instruction for the follow-up activity, she
would circle the class continuously observing students’ engagement and monitoring
their development while completing the activities given. She literally went to each
row of the benches and consulted each of them, checked on their ongoing task and
gave them direct feedbacks for some errors; from which she realized the seemingly
low English proficiency her students were at. The number of their frequent mistakes
prompted her decision to interrupt the discovery to help it more successful. She was
left with no better way than elaborating the verb conjugation for the whole class by
taking examples of some verbs which confused many of them. Interestingly,
students showed more focus when she was addressing the ‘S-V’ kinds of rules -
explaining why one sentence has ‘to be’ followed with past verbs while some others
were not or why certain verbs were conjugated differently compared to the others.
Picture 11. Uke decided to combine explicit and implicit grammar instruction
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The class had always been cooperative, but when meta-language was used they
became even more attentive; fixing their seat to face the whiteboard where Uke was
standing while jotting down things, and some were starting to scrabble on their
loose leaf for notes. And there was also this one particular student with seemingly
more proficiency in English than the class on average who appeared to be more
active by proposing more examples of words or sentences to be discussed. Although
he never hinted at any sign of dissatisfaction with the class before, he expressed his
content by Uke’s clarification with his repetitive nods. This was probably the
perfect evidence of how grammar instruction had been deposited during his and
possibly the rest of the class’ previous language learning; that learning had always
been dealing with teacher’s imposing. Compensating, she hence pondered and
decided to combine both implicit and explicit grammar instruction on the following
meetings’ activities. It wasn’t her effort of evading the responsibility, but given
only 100 minutes of once a week meeting -she contemplated- this probably the best
way she could help them. Especially when considering that she would have to score
them out of their discovery at the end of the semester.
Three activities, among others, which she decided to weight as 30% out of
the total scoring components to add the 40% taken from the reading log and
grammar discovery were Writing a Letter, Continuing Story, and Designing Book
Pamphlet. In Writing a Letter, she replicated the success of one of the activities
from the second ER Gathering her students missed to attend. She once again took
the scanned version of Graded Readers ‘Rich Man, Poor Man’ as the Classroom
Readers and mailed it to the class day before; just more than enough time for them
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to read such short Beginner of ELT level Graded Readers. The title was chosen for
the Writing a Letter activity as it was also contextually telling about the happiness
of an old spouse receiving a letter from their beloved son who had left abroad two
years before; trying his luck to escape the farming life his parents had been all their
lives. Initiating the activity, she would lead them to discuss the story of the book by
prompting them with several questions related to the storyline. Apart from these
lead-in questions, it was also a good thing that she had piloted the activity before
having the class. She made use of some of the letters written on the second ER
Gathering as examples for them to stimulate their own ideas on what they were
going to write when imaginary putting themselves as either the son of the parents.
Although she didn’t want to limit their imagination, since the activity was intended
for past tense discovery, she encouraged them to write about what had happened in
the son’s life after leaving home or how the father’s journey to the city town for
retrieving the Money Order the son had sent. She didn’t really set the requisite of
how many words or how long the letter should be, and rather gave them sufficient
time to drafting theirs inside the class and individually finalized it at home;
considering that it weighted 10% score. Indeed, all the other two activities were
also set as a home assignment. In view of students might need more time to finish
continuing the story and designing their book pamphlet, Uke allocates one meeting
for each activity and gave several days before the due day of the projects.
For Continuing Story, she picked a narrative fiction of ‘Flower Girl’ from
ReadWorks.org as the Classroom Readers. The story started with a little girl’s
excitement for being given a beautiful pink dress to be worn on her sisters’ wedding
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and her proud of showing the dress off to her friends. The story came to its climax
when her friends pulled a prank on her and damaged her highly-cherished dress;
leaving her distressed. This climax had also been the part where she decided to cut
the story up. She took the beginning half of the story and omitted some of its present
and past verbs before dispersing it to her students. By selectively omitting those
verbs to be filled by students as they were listening to the audio transcript she played
centrally through the class’ audio system, she expected them to recognize and
differentiate when to use the tenses respectively. Once all were filled and discussed,
she instructed them to imagine how the story might progress. And so for being told
from the little girl points of view, the fiction was not complex at all; allowing broad
imagination for the students to make their own creative ending. She moved from
one to another student, giving advice and suggestions to stimulate their creativity;
and of course, providing feedback for some errors. As she once again wanted them
to submit the best task they could put their effort to earn their 10% scoring, she
allocated days for the due day of the assignment.
Lastly, her decision to use Book Pamphlet as the last assignment was
actually one among other modifications he made from her initial syllabus. The last
activity to end the semester -as she had actually planned and designed- was Book
Advertisement. Yet, when she referred to the calendar academic and calculated the
day when she had to have the final, she noticed that she would have not enough
time for that. The Book Advertisement –provided that done as its initial design-
would take several meetings since the end goal of the activity was students having
a mini-presentation to promote their most recommended book from all that they
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have read so far –one from their own Graded Readers’ reading log. With the many
numbers of the student in the class and the very few weeks she had left before the
final, she sadly let it go. She was so apologetic that she had been so busy with many
other agendas; both university-related ones and her own professional development
of seminars, workshops, or conferences. All which forced her to frequently cancel
the class; resulting in un-ideal flow of activity distribution; that in the busiest
months she could only managed to have the class once or twice.
Even without those agendas, she was never stopping to adapt and modify
the meeting plan as for considering the class’ progress in completing the task; like
the day when she was giving them Literary Circle. The day which she thought
would be fun but was ended somewhat disappointing for her since most of the
students failed to read before the class –as to how she instructed them to. As such,
she had to allocate some unplanned time for reading inside the class more than she
had detailed on the lesson plan. When the time came for them to sit in a circle of
smaller groups and one by one took some blurbs to respond to, there were times of
reluctance. The types of questions she prepared for the blubs were actually not those
kinds of questions that require a profound understanding of the story; instead, they
were simply perspectival questions that can be answered solely from their own
feelings. Yet, for they had not really grasped the story they chose to read just
minutes before, they seemed to find it difficult to engage themselves with the
activity. Consequently, for she was doubting the success of Book Advertisement if
she insisted on having it despite the time constraint, she called it off and prepared
Book Pamphlet as a substitute activity. She unloaded all the Graded Readers she
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brought from her tote bag and let all students take turns selecting one to read for the
silent reading session –as always. She introduced the day’s activity while showing
the example of the pamphlet they would be making in pair; stressing the needs to
at least include the book’s short description, one interesting or memorable quotation
of the book, its theme, characters, and a brief summary adequately -just enough to
highlight the story of the book. Although it was a substitute activity, to her surprise,
it resulted in better when compared to the Writing a Letter. Reading each and every
letter they submitted brought her back to the bitter moments when she was
struggling with the bi-weekly, carelessly-written, reading diary from the previous
batch’s Grammar class. She was dejected that most letters showed no affection for
the character. They seemed to be unable to immerse themselves in the story that
their letter didn’t appear to be written empathetically on behalf of the character.
And, if she had to make a comparison, it was sad to admit that the ones written
during the second ER Gathering were much better than the ones from her class.
With the Book Pamphlet, luckily, she could erase the saddening thought. Though
most of them were using the pamphlet template she provided, she could still see
their dedication in completing each section of the pamphlet. She was contented to
notice the results of their reading on it; that from every sentence they wrote, their
big effort was reflected. And thus she learned that it might have been because
writing, similar to reading –still- for them, was not stimulating. Or, at the second
thought, it might also because they found it fun to aesthetically illustrated, colored,
and designed the pamphlet. Either way, at the very least, it paid a little
compensation to her regret of not having Book Advertisement.

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Now that the class had settled its 70% of the scoring components and later
added with 10% taken from the students’ attendance, it left her with the 20% worth
final test. As she had initially planned, she would make the final test a writing test
from which she hoped could clearly indicate the success of their discovery all along
the semester. She recalled back to all of the activities the class had had for the
semester and noticed that they were still need to be exposed to Future tense more.
To not violating the learning nuance she had been trying to build all along, where
students didn’t feel like they were tested, she thought of asking them to write about
their future plans for their study. This way, not only would they feel less pressured
by the label ‘final test’, but it also made it contextual to their actual projections
ahead. After all, it was not her expectation to see some excellent achievement in
grammar, neither such an advanced project showing a high English proficiency. For
her, it was satisfying to see the attendance level of the students and those happy
faces inside the class. She had at least achieved her goal of making English class
something fun; a class which had commonly been less-prioritized for not part of the
core subjects, a class which usually was reluctantly attended merely for the sake of
signing the attendance list.
H. Finding true North: Reflection and Revisions
January 2019 was when the semester had finally come to an end, and she
was filled with a mix of emotions. At one end, she was glad and relieved to finally
make an attempt of implementing ER throughout the semester, but at the other end,
she felt that she had failed her own expectation. At the very least, she had escaped
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herself from repeating the same torture of teaching grammar she did in the previous
semester of 2017.
“I think, in both semesters, I failed.” Comparing both semesters, she sadly

admitted.
“But, at least this semester I have made some preparation. So, indeed I fail; but I
have prepared everything. Not so much in vain.” She kept her positivism high.
[Q1.iv]
The absence of a monitoring system in The Department didn’t stop her from
evaluating her own class. She voluntarily, out of her own willingness and
awareness, took notes of which parts she missed and what she could have done
better. She repented and learned the lesson to right all the wrongs.
Even before starting the class, she knew that it wouldn’t be easy; given that
she received no support and with no team. Preparing herself with such detailed and
rigid activities for each meeting had then been her way of anticipating those
limitations and obstacles she predicted to encounter. But somehow, sometime,
something just won’t go as how we plan it to be. Her well-designed activities were
instead coming back at her as a strain rather than as a solution.
“In my opinion, it doesn’t run as to how I expected it to be.” She confessed.

“As I see it, they didn’t learn much out of it -despite my preparation.” In anguish,
she added.
[Q1.i]
“Actually what I’ve been meaning is that grammar supposed to be not taught as
kind of formula doesn’t have to be memorized.” Recalling her initial intention.
“But instead, while reading there must have been some grammar involved in it.
That is also why I designed the syllabus into discovery learning; they should
discover the grammar themselves.” She went on.
“But the reality didn’t meet my expectation.” Feeling bitter, she ended.
[Q7.ii]
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Although she had made her biggest effort to complete the syllabus before the class
started, all the way through the semester-long she was forced to make some
adjustments as seeing the nature of the class, the dynamic shifts of the class’
progress and even to some unavoidable factors –both personal and institutional. All
along the semester seemed to be her rodeo of trial and error of testing and adapting
the designed activity. Having to always be alert with some circumstantial aspects
when teaching and to constantly maneuver to keep the flow of the activity engaging,
to some extent, took tolls on her physical and emotional balance. With a bunch of
activities she had in her syllabus, there was no day of the scheduled-class when she
was free of the hassle. The cycle of pre-class preparation and post-class follow-ups
were at times felt too much to handle compared to her other classes. As hard as she
could ever and had always tried to pour her energy into, the amendable timeline had
also forced her to pull some strings.
“Seriously, when I designed the activity I imagined –like- the output will be like this
and that; they didn’t work though.” With regret, she told me.
“After that, I became tired.” She let out a deep sigh.
“Have you had enough of it? Me, prompting her after hearing her dissatisfaction.
“No.” She cut me short in a second.

[Q1.i]
Even when she couldn’t deny her being overwhelmed by the amount of the
workload, there was zero intention in her to stop instilling ER into the curriculum.
For her realization that sadly no significant result had been shown despite her
attempts, however, she pondered at how to ease her without having to compensate
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with her beliefs in reading. She revisited all the notes and memories she had had
the class and reflected.
Scrolling ups and downs to the class’ assignment submitted on her e-
learning account brought her to her “biggest flaw”. She was most apologetic for not
being able to return to most of the submitted assignments or project after the class.
She gave roughly inadequate feedback on students’ assignments and was
prioritizing more on infiltrating their minds to grow fond of reading rather than
ensuring their grammar discovery. Occasionally, on the assignment’s due day, she
would simply check to notice that all had uploaded their works; and at times glanced
at the task only to skim what their discovery was and how they discussed it. She
thought she would have more time later to read each of their tasks thoroughly; she
hoped that with more times and with un-distracted focus, she would assist them
with more comprehensive feedback. Little did she know the closer the semester to
its end, the more things she was occupied with –leaving all those assignments
unattended.
“But I didn’t go further to really break down in which area do they make a wrong
perception,” started with remorse.
“and unfortunately, I don’t really know whether they can really comprehend the
actual use of the sentence patterns or not.” She took the blame for everything.
“So, their effort of compiling those parts goes to waste.” Feeling guilty, she ended.
[Q1.ii]
For her hectic agendas should have never been an excuse to fail her own
commitment in the first place, she was then determined to revise the syllabus for
the next academic year’s Grammar class.

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“What I reflect from the class implementation, for the next semester class of
Grammar, I will not use the same syllabus.” Started her plan.
“My approach would still be from ER because I still believe that the learning input
must still be from reading. But, I will not make it as rigid as it is.” She came to the
decision of her next revision project.
“This semester’s syllabus has one activity for one meeting, I now think that it is not
effective. One activity is supposed to be used for several meetings. So, one meeting
is for preparing something -one meeting is for preparing something else- until we
have reached the goal.” Further, she elaborated.
[Q1.ii]
By reducing the pace and the number of the activity, which at the same time
reducing the workload she would have to bear with, she wished to gain more
chances to empower their reading to succeed in the grammar discovery.
Left with only completing the class’ scoring report spared her some times
to reconsider all that had been done and clear her mind to redesign her RPS. This
time, at least, she wouldn’t start from nothing for she had it figured to which activity
she could keep and how they would be adapted. Her persistence once again
reaffirmed her consistent commitment to implement ER -against all odds. By the
official rule, she is only obliged to make revision once every five years; during
which the whole Department’s curriculum would be evaluated. But she just can’t
endure the long wait. She would rather be dealing with more works of redesigning
her syllabus all over again than to cope with the passionless teachings. Besides, she
was also strengthened by some of her students, some of the few, who came to her
and expressed their sincere gratitude for had given them a chance to retrieve their
long-abandoned hobby of reading.
“But there were also some students who thanked me, saying ‘Thank you miss, for
giving us such assignment’.” Retelling her joy.
[Q1.vi]
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The simple ‘thank you’ –may seem to others- was a great appreciation to her; more
than anything. There possibly more students like them, she thought, who
unfortunately had to also give up their hobby of reading as getting on the later ages
with higher demand at school, or once the college life had led them to that of over-
the-clock schedules. She weighted this feeling of accomplishment on her shoulders;
rather than the despair. If she can reach these few students, by times as she insists
on pursuing the good cause of implementing ER, she wished to have more and more
hearts to reach.
As her beliefs on ER was not any less than before, she breathed the new
spirit and sought for more enrichment to the new revised syllabus; repeating the
cycle. After all, keeping herself fully occupied with the revision project had been
the one that retained her sanity being in The Department; a nice and constructive
distraction which kept her poised amidst the calamity. With ER, she had fought her
fair share of battles by which she completed herself and found peace within herself.
And though she knew it would weary her to the bone, she would keep advancing
toward officially embedding ER into the curriculum.
Until then, the battle shall never cease.

CHAPTER V
DISCUSSION
To interpret the narrative I elicited from the numerous observations and
interviews I had with the participant, I would refer back to some terms and
elaborations I laid on my chapter 3. The very first method which I underwent to
initiate the analysis was to recapitulate the participant’s told, that was identifying
the participant’s elements of narratives. The narrative has comprehensively
depicted the hierarchy of experience that helps promote understanding of how the
participant had redefined reading throughout her life journey. At its smallest unit -
that is once again temporal and situational- reading serves as her passion initially
built ever since her childhood out of her mere pleasure. Further, taking its
comprehensive unit as she connected her past recounted reading experiences to her
recent life crisis, she unravels the continuity and interactional elements of reading
in her life that meaningfully serves as her way of escaping herself from the
oppression she is coping within The Department. The Grammar class had been then
the turning point from which she retaliates from the oppression. Thus, through
chains of actions she committed to attempting to assist her students in discovering
grammar from their readings, she wishes to also re-discover her lost self.
The findings have consistently shown the participant’s determination to
actualize herself; struggling to revive amidst her powerless state of being by letting
her inner beliefs in reading to lead her. Reading has then become her means of
actualizing herself. The way the participant found empowerment through reading
was significantly built up by her strong beliefs on reading. Being a biographical
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narrative inquiry, all of those aforementioned factors -as conveyed within the told
events- were reconstructed. And here, I began my second method of analysis. I
reordered all of the told events into the order of the past, present, and future
elements of experience to better illustrate the participant’s chronologic life. Once
the storyline was fixed, I proceeded to construct the narrative’s patter by classifying
those events under their corresponding themes and further inferred the artifacts to
triangulate the told. All the themes -both the predetermined and the emergent ones-
are further elaborated below.
A. AGENCY
Agency, which includes the participant’s motives and value, falls into the
past element for conveying the underlying background of the participant’s driving
force in deciding to implement ER for her Grammar class instruction. The
persistence shown by the participant had been in general motivated by several
equally contributing prominences; oppression, detachment, passion for reading, and
professional development.
1. Oppression
When referring to how I decided to bring about the participant’s lived
experience into this biographical narrative inquiry, her oppression –as assumed- has
become an essential driving force that motivates her decision in implementing ER
in her Grammar class. Accordingly, the most dominant field of experience (of all
the five fields expected to encounter during the data gathering) that the participant
had shown in this context is feeling. She repeatedly, either during the formal
interview or casual discussion and talks I was having with her, expressed her
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dissatisfaction with not only The Department as an institution itself but also the
people of The Department. The feeling that she had exhibited was further
accumulated and contributed to forming her beliefs as shown on how she completed
her grammar discovery syllabus.
Similarly, Ročāne (2015, p. 168) proposes that “The main formative factors
of beliefs are family, education, culture, society, reflection, life experience, as well
as the process of socialization at school”. Out of the suggested seven main factors
which are prominent in implanting beliefs, the participant’s syllabus had been
strongly influenced by her education, reflection, life experience, and lastly her
socialization at The Department. While the three former factors would be
elaborated under the following themes, discussion for oppression will focus on how
her way of socializing at The Department contributed to her determination of
implementing ER principles.
As not only seeing any possibility of building a good relationship with the
people, the participant also noticed its weak organizational management; which was
also can’t separately be observed from her colleges’ working ethic. As to how she
testified, she could barely witness any collective collegial built among them. For
long she had a fight with her inner-self, for trying to live up her work ethic despite
being in such an unsupportive environment.
I am a new person in the department, right. I am also younger than

them. And I am also just an English lecturer. So, who am I? People
will just take me lightly. [Q4. iii]
So when I moved there [referring to The Department], I didn’t see
the purpose. And people there have their own purpose. There is no
such thing as collective collegial there. [Q4.v]
Let’s exclude personal life, even when it is about work, there was
this particular agenda which was not shared with the other. So
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there once an agenda which was not shared. There were only some
people being informed. There were only some people being
informed. How many people are there? There are only nine. Why
didn’t you share it with everyone? That was such a [lifting her
shoulders] thing. [Q4.viii]
Well, even now I am feeling like I’ve become a public enemy.
[Q4.xi]
More than that, it seemed to her that English had been marginalized and pushed
into the last of the prioritized lists despite having put some efforts into explaining
the significance and urgency of revising the English curriculum. The participant’s
feeling upon learning such a saddening fact had then strengthened her beliefs on
how she wished to conduct her grammar class. Her feelings were manifested
throughout her attitudes when socializing with and behaving around the people of
The Department. After all, as confirmed by Richardson (1996, p. 102) “Attitudes
and beliefs are a subset of a group of constructs that name, define, and describe the
structure and content of mental states that are thought to drive a person's actions.”
The participant’s conduct can’t be separated from the feelings she grew and the
beliefs formed by such feelings. Her being oppressed in The Department had later
drastically influenced her character and conduct in some ways.
Through some repetitive opportunity, the participant had explicitly voiced
her disagreement with the curriculum. Yet, each time she received disapproval; or
more likely an ignorance. As considered a non-major course, the English program
was seemingly designed simply to fulfill the need of having English courses as
being mandatory by the university academic framework. With little care and no
English lecturer involved throughout its completion, unfortunately, the flaws were
tangible.
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So, they [referring to The Department] didn’t specifically tell me

to teach ‘this’ kind of grammar, in fact when I asked [to the Dean]
I was not given the exact kind of grammar I should teach. So,
‘Grammar in what kind of way? – ‘well, just grammar’. So I was
not informed to teach grammar in a particular way. ‘What is your
objective? What kind of grammar do you intend to have?’ [As if
talking to her Dean]. … But at that time, I asked them and they
couldn’t give an explanation of what kind of grammar they want
me to teach. [Q2.xxii]
Her voice was buried among many other priorities The Department had, that it was
left as a mere discourse of agenda. The minority had silenced her and gave her no
chance of speaking up. When confirmed to the participant, she objected to none of
the findings and interpretations discussed and rather claimed that it had precisely
illustrated her current feelings and positions. All of which initiated the emergent of
the following theme.
2. Detachment
Detachment has been a crucial emergent theme as being the climax of her
being lost in her sole struggle of adapting to the new environment. Feeling is still
once again the dominant field of experience here. As I was stunned at how
something so fundamental had changed in her only within a considerably short
amount of time she spent in The Department, it crossed my mind that it might have
been caused by her losing her life balance. During the interview, my question of
asking her to clarify the possibility of my assumption to be true brought her into
awareness. And thus, she testified that the calm composure she achieved from the
long-trained Aikido was fading as she was dealing with the emotional distress she
is coping with by the oppression. She started to become frontal upon stumbling with
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some ‘inappropriacy’; as when she saw the individualism among the people of The
Department.
She ended up detaching herself emotionally from The Department which
thus deposited as a personality crisis. She no longer had any intention of being
‘accepted within the circle’ and, on top of being marginalized, she had indeed
marginalized herself out of the people of The Department.
I don’t even feel belong to them [giggling bitterly]. And even until
now, I’m still adjusting, haven’t been able to adapt yet. I don’t
even know what the problem is. I don’t feel that I belong to them.
[Q4.0]
While there [referring to The Department], I don’t know what I’ve
been doing. … I just don’t understand what they want [shaking her
head]. And then, what has become my tag-line after finishing the
accreditation is ‘let’s be selfish’. That’s it. So, if you want to think
about yourself which I don’t understand what it’s all about, then
go ahead. If that’s the case, I’ll think about myself too. As simple
as that. [Q4.vii]
Because, when we are working we are not working together. And
besides that, it is just this week when I start to feel that -ok, I am
indeed being excluded. So like I said, I was not involved in the
community service program, I was not involved in their research,
those kinds of things. But then, well yeah, what can I do? To say
things like ‘please involve me’ would never be an option. Ok, so
if I am not involved I will go on by myself. … So, as I said.
Especially to them, I am planning not to share anything. [Q4.ix]
But yeah, well let’s just go through it. It felt so lonely miss, very
lonely. I mean I am not happy, that feeling when you are not
fulfilling your soul needs. But probably that’s how things should
be. Let’s just be apathetic toward anything. [Q4.xii]
This finding signifies that the participant’s attitude was her form of affective
responses mutually built as she developed her behavior and motivation (Verhoeven
& Snow, 2001). The change of attitude she was showing while associating with the
people of The Department clearly depicts a behavioral alteration. The oppression
which included both side marginalization had surprisingly taken her into depravity,
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enough to change the very principle she had been keeping all along. Instead of
longing from emotional acceptance she was striving for previously, she had now
turned apathetic. More than that, this detachment is then prompting the latter
element to emerge from her inner self.
3. Passion for reading
As compensation to her emotional detachment, she was then pursuing her
lost own self. One among others, she recalled her passion for reading to complete
herself and cure her wounded soul.
I am now in the process of fulfilling myself with my own self. By

anime -watching anime- or reading anything. [Q4.xii]
As she couldn’t find consolation from having to bear with The Department, she
tried to fulfill herself with her reading passion. She wanted to at the very least enjoy
her Grammar class by incorporating ER into her syllabus. Not only that, but she
also voiced her beliefs through her community services which all were her way of
pursuing her dream of promoting ER. She firmly believes that reading is a way
more empowering instruction a teacher must cater to the students with. The
Department, on the other side, insisted on being indifferent despite the persistent
that the participant had shown through her consecutive’s community services.
Her passion for reading was instilled way back then at her younger ages and
kept growing until she finally could recognize the benefits of her reading hobby
toward her academic achievement later during her college life. Her writing style
has been highly influenced by her readings that her writing will reflect the nuance
of her current reading materials. The recent biographical case history by Renandya
et al. (2019) illustrates similar language acquisition. The study provides evidence
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at how pleasure reading -as experienced by the participant herself- helped non-
English natives acquired English naturally without formal education. Her long-
terms voluntary pleasure reading had mentally processed the language pattern into
her brain; readily performed when needed even without her awareness. The second
influence she claimed to pick from her reading is her vocabulary size. The extensive
amount of her readings had enriched her with numerous new vocabularies. This
finding signified how long exposure to pleasure reading had served the evidence
for implicit knowledge. The writing style and vocabulary that the participant had
gained, were unconsciously stored within her brain (Nuttall, 2005). The participant
had never once intended to learn to write or wished to expand her vocabulary from
her readings. Nevertheless, she achieved the writing style and vocabulary size
implicitly during those extensive times she spent to read.
For experiencing the benefits of reading herself, she grew her beliefs on
reading and thus desired to pass it on to her students. As such, beliefs have been the
next dominant field of experience throughout the participant’s agency.
So, it’s like this. They [referring to her students] had learned
grammar during their junior and senior high school. They had
already been familiar with the form, hadn’t they? But, how the
form then works in the context, where do they get that knowledge?
From reading! That’s what I also experienced. That’s what I had
been aware of for quite sometimes. So if I want my writing to be
well-written, I should read difficult journals. The ones with very
difficult and sophisticated vocabularies. After that, I would be able
to write at least something similar to those. … In my case, the
benefit I am getting is related to the style of the language. But I
realize that I am influenced by what I am currently reading. So
whenever I read something simple, my writing will also become
simple. And whenever I read something with unique sentence
structures it will directly ‘match’ here [pointing her palm] with
what I’m writing. … So there are things which I’m unaware of
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acquiring and at times when I need the words, they suddenly just
pop up. That’s what I feel after reading some in English. [Q3.ii]
Because, I do it for –in my opinion- I do it for a good cause. …
This is for the students, and I believe this is good. … And, that’s
not what I believe in; for, to give grammar in the early phase of
the learning program. They must have learned grammar at their
high school. I bet they had had enough of it, me myself had also
had enough of it. … In my case, I was a literature student so indeed
I learned grammar –learn grammar- the kind of grammar which
tells us; you know – Noun phrase and we need to ‘blablabla…’
with all of those difficult terms. And we need to learn syntactically
it should be like this, it is included in this, where does it belong to-
well, you know things like that! … But for students of [mentioning
the major of the department], why do they need to learn such a
thing? For, [pausing] to make the language functional right?
That’s what I think, ms. And that’s why I went out of the guideline.
[Q2.xxii]
Her belief that reading can help students practicing and using the language had
prominently implanted an intrinsic driving force. During the interview, the
participant admitted that although the intention was not purely made out of her
beliefs -as also influenced by her oppression and detachment- the main underlying
reason which justifies her ‘selfishness’ is her beliefs on how empowering ER could
be when assisted appropriately to her students.
4. Professional Development
Further, her beliefs on reading have not only led her to value her personal
learning experience but had also paved her way to highly value professional
development. Both then, personal learning experience and professional
development; has correspondingly contributed throughout the long process of
designing and implementing the syllabus. Having been experiencing the benefits of
reading was sparking the enthusiasm, but more foundations of her syllabus were
coming from her professional development. Apart from her self-reading on books
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and journals, out of her motivation to design a close-to-perfect syllabus for her ER-
Grammar class, she also enrolled and engaged herself in various seminars,
workshops, and conferences on ER. Her ultimate goal of developing her
professionalism was thus to improve the quality of her classroom. Likewise, Nugent
(2007, p. 2) claims that “the goal of professional development is increasing student
achievement”. As I documented all of the participant’s participatory certificates
from the seminars, conferences, and workshops -as to impose her told from the
telling- I recognized the insights and some hints of practical implementation of ER
as classroom instruction she had gained; either through the title of her presentation
or the theme of the conference she attended. During this phase, not only had I
recognized her knowledge development, but I had also confirmed her devotion to
ideally design an almost perfect ER program for her students.
More than that, not only in terms of academics but she also values her
professional development emotionally. Her persistence in learning more to
complete the syllabus brought her to IERA. She stated during the interview that
upon her joining the association, she finally found a place she felt belong to, IERA
had since been a great support system which was absent in The Department. More
than that, IERA had also given her opportunities to contribute herself to promoting
ER not only at a smaller scope of her class but also at a wider range. Meeting people
sharing the same passion with her comforted her, and above all, she gained
confidence as she picked up some practical pieces of advice from other ER
practitioners from various institutions across the country to be employed in her

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Grammar class, and more importantly patching the absence of emotional support
she wished to receive from The Department.
First, I felt like I finally received support. By support, I mean I

have a place where I can go to find the information I needed.
That’s the first. The second one, I know to whom I should ask the
questions I have. So it felt like I’m in my pond. So, that’s how it
felt like to me; I received support. It was not to the extent that some
friends came and helped me teaching inside the class and gave me
feedback for the syllabus. No, not to that extent. It just that I felt I
receive support from them, I was motivated. Even though I was
not always talking about my class. Like the last time when I joined
the most recent ERWC, it was like the anti-climax for everything
miss. It has been a while, and there were tons of things to do and
when I met people who share the same passion as I do, they are
indeed doing the best they could, they are also facing their own
difficulties, and they are also seeking for support. [Q9.0]
As such, the participant’s professional development has once again ensured
the intertwining fields of feeling and beliefs which fall under the agency theme.
Successful professional development is the one that simultaneously develops
learning communities and promotes collegiality at the same time (Lauer & Dean,
2004). How the participant had valued her professional development as both
academically and emotionally has set an evidence on how successful her investment
was. Although was not from The Department, she had managed to create her own
supportive environment with the academics in IEARA. Moreover, as referring to
the main features of high-quality professional development by Garet et al. (2001)
i.e. structural and core features, the participant had managed to accomplish both.
The former feature includes form, duration, and participation. All of which the
participant had committed by specializing her area of interest into ER for the sake
of the program implementation, by extending the timeline of her participatory into
years instead of merely short-terms participatory, and lastly by actively

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participating as presenters rather than an audience. Whilst for the latter feature, the
core, the participant had also indicated enrichment in content by the syllabus
completion, active learning by the consecutive experiments-revisions-
modifications, and coherence by her consistency in applying the ER principles
throughout the semester. All in all, they shaped confidence for the participant and
provided her with optimism to go on with the Grammar Discovery program. As
once again referring to Ročāne (2015, p. 167) “Teachers who are confident about
their professionalism are able to make their own personal responsibility for student
growth and believe in students’ ability to learn significantly.” Hence, the participant
had then become firmer than before with her syllabus.
B. GRAMMAR DISCOVERY
Data used in analyzing this theme were mostly taken from the classroom
observations; along with some related artifacts to support the field note which once
again helped to impose the told from the telling. Further, some findings were
discussed during interview for clarification and confirmation. Under this theme, the
most prominent fields of experience observed are understanding and action.
Besides being formed initially from her beliefs, the participant’s understanding has
resulted from her professional development which later is embodied and reflected
throughout her actions. All of which classified into the present elements of the lived
experience.
1. Changing Perspective
For someone who is immensely invested in ER, the participant is fully aware
that it requires an extensive amount of time. With only 16 meetings of 100 minutes
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for each session, she knew she should not dream of achieving the best output.
Hence, before striving to assist her students with grammar discovery, as also
displaying her being knowledgeable in the area of ER, she brought herself to
accomplish the more likely feasible goal of changing the perspective on reading.
Actually, my goal is to make them enjoy reading first. Not yet to

the extent of building reading habits. I want them to start enjoying
reading and change their perspective that reading English is not
difficult. [Q14.0]
Not to the extent of building habit miss, well yeah, to change
perspective and –what is it called- better attitude. What I mean by
a better attitude is they are not feeling resentful toward English
class. The aim is to make them feel happy, just for fun. [Q14.i]
It comes from her concern that reading has unfortunately stigmatized
negatively, as being the least popular pastime. This concern stays with her for a
quite long time as she is also witnessing the evidence herself inside her classrooms.
More importantly, the report from The Program for International Student
Assessment (PISA) affirms her concern when stating that the reading performance
of Indonesia’s students rank 71 out of the 77 countries being surveyed in 2018
(Schleicher, 2019). This is very saddening especially since Indonesia had not made
much improvement since 2015 when it ranked 62 out of the 70 countries being
surveyed in 2015 (OECD, 2016). Realizing such heartbreaking fact, she held two
events of ER gatherings aiming at promoting reading; presenting authentic evidence
on the benefit of reading for the first one, and providing examples of how reading
can be an option for having fun. These two are how she translated her understanding
of the issue.
In spite of the challenges coming from The Department’s contribution, her
ego of not wanting to compensate when it comes to ER insisted her on holding the
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gathering. She proposed both events as her community service program to expect
for financial aid. And although the proposal was granted, she knew she would be
receiving the fund months later; and thus she was prepared to self-provide for all of
the expenses. In addition to financial support, being part of The Department didn’t
secure their involvement in the program. As she had indeed detached herself from
The Department, she sought companionship outside by making the gathering as a
joint collaboration among The Department, the English Education Department of
UMY, and the English Education Department of UKDW Yogyakarta. This way,
she could achieve her goal but lessen the burden of finance and the workload at the
same time. More than that, it sadly indicated her being outcast from The
Department.
2. ER Principles
The theme elaborates on the participant’s understanding of ER from all of
her previous knowledge she gained from her independent readings, discussions, and
professional development. At the same time, the implementation of these principles
was highlighting the resistance of the participant in teaching grammar. By keeping
herself persistent despite the many obstacles she was encountering during the
implementation, she wished to voice her beliefs and understanding so that it
eventually will be heard by The Department that teaching grammar is meaningless
without context, that grammar is best acquired through reading, and that ER can
ultimately bridge students competence and performance in English. All of the ten
ER principles by Bamford and Day (2004) fall exactly to three of her main actions,
as summed up below;
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Table 3. ER principles and the activities

ER Principles Action
1. The reading material is easy. Graded Readers

2. A variety of reading material on a wide range of topics is available.
3. Learners choose what they want to read.
4. Reading is individual and silent.
1. Learners read as much as possible. Reading Log
2. Reading is its own reward.
1. Reading speed is usually faster rather than slower. Classroom Readers
2. The purpose of reading is related to pleasure, information, and
general understanding.
3. Teacher orients and guides the students.
4. Teacher is a role model of a reader.
a. Graded Readers
Graded Readers was the main evidence of how she voiced her objections to
the curriculum. To ensure the ER principles, she unreluctantly financed her
hundreds of Graded Readers to be used for the class. They were used as the main
source of reading materials for classroom activities. She introduced Graded Readers
to her students and gave them the freedom to choose from which level of difficulty
they wanted to start. She allowed them to change to other Graded Readers if they
found the one they were reading was difficult to understand or less interesting. This
way she was practicing the ER principle that reading should be easily understood
without a dictionary. The various number of Graded Readers in various levels and
titles she provided were also serving the evidence of her way of complying with the
ER principle in a way to provide her students a wide range of topics and to also
give them access to independently pick their own preferred reading materials.
Besides, she wanted them to have a sense of accomplishment once they finished
one book and therefore grew eagerness to read more and more.
… They just don’t understand how reading can be fun, that’s

because they haven’t read the one that suits their preference. …
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So, in a case when I was just starting to read and –eee, what is it-
and I were asked to read those kinds of books, I wouldn’t become
this fond of reading; because my head would go like ‘owh, so I
have to read something I don’t like’. And so, it makes reading
something else become less interesting. Not used to self-prefer
reading. I think it is like that. But now, there have been already
many graded readers selection with various genres. So, in case you
like romance, why don’t you read graded readers for romance; it’s
ok if everything you read is all about romance. So it’s that simple.
This way, they will be more frequent to choose their own reading
preference out of those graded readers. They will become
independent for being able to choose their own reading; know
what they want. Moreover, they have already been familiar with
finding it themselves, and also how to select the genre. So actually
it has many advantages, miss. That’s how it should be. So if I don’t
really like reading, that means you haven’t found the one suitable
for you; not yet discover it, you just haven’t got the click yet!
That’s how it is. [Q2.ii]
This, theoretically, also corresponds to how Nuttal (2005) affirms that ER
should purposefully lead to the breaking of the vicious circle of a weak reader to
ultimately create a virtuous circle of a good reader. Provided that students are given
the freedom to read out of their own pleasure and enjoyment, which also means
choosing the one they find the least difficult to understand, reading habits will
eventually be built as their sense of confidence after completing titles and more
titles increased. What frequently happens in the English classroom is that teachers
impose intensive reading while hoping to expose their students to the intended input
given throughout the text followed by some comprehension questions afterward.
Although such method may have its own significance, it is most of the time
ineffective for students are feeling forced to notice the exposure rather than out of
their own awareness noticing them. Thus, intake is not guaranteed either. In
addition to that, another study by Krishnan et al. (2009, p. 109) strongly claims that
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“reading materials outside the classroom subject areas do help in the proficiency
level of the respondents”. Increasing reading exposure will result in higher language
competence by way of learners becoming more aware to notice the language
pattern. When reading doesn’t seem like learning, students will develop security
and thus are expected to naturally acquire the language.
Lastly, to promote the individual reading from the four ER principles
belongs under the theme, the participant allocated times at the beginning of the class
for students to silently read their chosen Graded Readers. By giving them time to
read by themselves, she was expecting that they could digest not only the story but
were also starting to store the form of the sentence structure along with their attempt
of understanding each sentence throughout the pages. The participant claimed
during the interview that it is highly possible that the students were not reading
because they might not have enough time with numbers of college assignments they
have to complete. Giving them the opportunity to spend time reading inside the
class was hopefully give them back some of the time lost.
However, providing various selections of Graded Readers also means a
considerably high cost. As not part of the curriculum, she realized that she had to
self-provide her needs. For some, she made use of her colleague out of The
Department to strategize buying Graded Readers in different levels and topics for
each, so that both could share the ones missing from each other’s collection. Some
others were either won or bought when she attended seminars and conferences on
ER. Besides, she also benefitted some free online resources such as
www.readworks.com and www.ercentral.com. She didn’t want to expect anything

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from The Department, for -she was sure- it was impossible for them to supply her
with the Graded Readers only to support one non-major course.
b. Reading Log
With the reading log, the participant had actualized her understanding of the
other two ER principles. She wanted her students to also read outside the class to
expose them more and more to reading by establishing Membaca Bersama Library.
She opened her office for whoever wanting to select their own reading apart from
the Graded Readers she always brought to class. While those brought to class could
not be taken home, the ones student borrowed from Membaca Bersama Library
were allowed to be read home at their convenience. They simply needed to write
their name and the borrowed Graded Readers on the form she prepared. Moreover,
she also encouraged them to read more Graded Readers by adding one extra point
for their class’ final score. This additional point was a stimulating reward to at least
attract the students who –as said before- having low interest to read. By reading
more, although initially was motivated by the additional point, the participant put
high hope that they at the end will eventually found their reading preferences and
thus start to read on their own will.
The participant’s awareness of encouraging her students to read outside the
class reflects her understanding that ER should ideally be held in an extensive
amount of time. As highlighted by Krashen (2007) in his study, lengthy-time
allocation combined with frequent sessions are equal to an effective ER program.
His study examined the efficiency of ER when applied to various educational
institutions in varied duration; 12 weeks at the minimum and 3 years at the

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maximum. The result suggests that all groups exhibited positive effects and that the
ER effectiveness has been proven to be consistent. To compensate for the lack of
meeting that my participant had, she, therefore, included Reading Log in the
syllabus in the hope of replicating the same success shown by Krashen’s study.
Her challenge in applying these two ER principles came from, none other,
students’ low interest in reading. Although she had tried to anticipate such a
possible challenge with the additional point, she was still disappointed by the
shortlist of students borrowing the Graded Readers. She kept promoting the Graded
Readers every other time when ending the class, and even broadcasting text
messages each time she had new collections. Assuming that the low number of
students borrowing must have been because of the absence of a particular topic of
interest among the readily available Graded Readers, she kept buying more titles in
various levels of difficulties.
c. Classroom Readers
Besides using Graded Readers from which students were given the freedom
to pick their own reading, the participant also used Classroom Readers; a selected
reading material to be read by all students of the class. Classroom Readers took 4
numbers of ER principles adopted -equal to that of the number adopted with Graded
Readers- for both were indeed the core activity of the Grammar class. Classroom
Readers were used similarly like Graded Readers by first allocating time to read, in
pairs or individually. During this activity, the participant encountered an interesting
finding which shows that pair reading worked better than individual reading. The
participant observed that when reading with peers, they would build dependency on
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one another when stumbling difficulties. The study by Atkins (2010, p. 13)
similarly suggests that “learning is a social function, and that students do indeed
learn better when working with others”. The collaboration the pairs unintentionally
created also provided a sense of confidence when being able to be any assistance
for the peer. Whilst, for the other pair, it would trigger a contextual discovery from
which he/she built a meaningful communication with the peer to seek information
he/she needed to understand the reading and/or the difficult vocabulary. By those
two intertwining processes, the knowledge gained seemed to be instilled better.
As the reading material will be used for the following intended activity, the
participant usually set a certain time limit for them to finish it. This way, she could
train them to read at a faster pace. During their time reading the Classroom Readers,
the participant also took her own reading and silently read; setting an example
instead of merely instructing them to read. Setting a model for students is crucial
for it is highly unlikely to expect students immersed in their readings while the
teacher is not committed to the same cause. Each reading was also meaningful for
she oriented them to the follow-up activity which was each designed to cater to their
grammar discovery; as summed up below.
Table 4. Activities for grammar discovery

Present Tense Past Tense Future Tense Combination
1. Drawing and 1. Retelling the most 1. Proposing a 1. Literary circle.
describing the memorable event perfect gift for one 2. Making a
favorite character of the book. of the book’s bookmark from
of the book. 2. Writing a letter characters. the book’s most
2. Creating a book from one and to 2. Continuing the favorite quote.
pamphlet. one of the book’s story of an
characters. unfinished book.
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All of these follow up activities were not intended to assess the students’
comprehension of the reading. All of the archival data compiled, i.e. cut-up
cards/blurps/prompt questions, etc-, suggested that the follow-ups activities were
all perspectival. They were designed in such a way -as elaborated in the former
chapter- so that students had no fear of giving wrong or incorrect answers. Thus, it
was expected that the students felt comfortable to express themselves and
eventually grow confidence in using their English.
For focusing on meaning, the participant was not emphasizing on the
grammar elaboration. Instead, she wanted her students to acquire the grammar
naturally along with all of those assigned activities. By not directly addressing the
linguistic structures and metalinguistic information, the participant assumed that
language acquisition will naturally occur as students picking up some of the
language features they read to complete the class project. All of the readings were
once again intended for general understanding and perspectival information which
will be reiterated from their completed projects. At the same time, this action
signified her un-heard voice that the teaching-learning process should be able to
enrich students with more real-life-use language functions rather than simply
linguistic competence. By designing such fun activities, the participant wanted
them to enjoy the whole process; starting from the reading to the project
completion. However, there lied the challenges she had to deal with.
The first and foremost would be about the minimum credit allotment for
English which actually was largely understandable given that it is a non-English
department. However, as having an idealistic concept of ER in her mind, it was

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deemed insufficient that she had to creatively adopt and adapt some materials to
make use of the time effectively while incorporating as many as grammatical
aspects for the discovery. This, unfortunately, had also been entangled with the
second challenge; the seemingly slow reception the students showed towards the
grammar discovery. While diligently observing and giving feedback throughout the
activities, she realized that her students need more assistance in discovering
grammar more than she had thought before. At this point, she realized that exposing
the students through reading only would not assist her with an accurate acquisition.
The study by Gasparini (2004) confirms that the key to successful second
language teaching is the equal emphasis on forms and meaning. Hence, the
participant’s beliefs on how she should provide instruction shifted from a strong
interface position into a weak interface position. In her classroom context, relying
solely on meaning would not result significantly in grammar mastery due to the
time constraint and the students’ low English proficiency. And so after much
consideration, as to compensate with the time constraint, she then decided to
partially benefit explicit grammar instruction to boost students’ grammar discovery.
Although she tried her best to avoid addressing the ‘S-V’ kind of grammar
instruction, she couldn’t refrain herself from explicitly addressing the linguistic
structures by elaborating the metalinguistic information after seeing many of the
students struggle. It led to a crucial finding when all of the students showed more
eagerness and a higher level of focus when metalanguage was used. This finding
indicated how accustomed they have been with teacher-centered classrooms and
teacher’s declarative knowledge. That learning had always involved the teacher’s
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lecture and them taking note of what the teacher elaborated. Despite the growing
trend of more engaging and learners’ centered classroom instructions, Indonesia’s
education -I’m afraid to say- are mostly still stuck in the past with conventional
classroom management. Shifting to more empowering approaches would then take
long route to accomplish.
C. REFLECTION
The last theme still strongly portrays the participant’s feelings. This strong
feeling has then been what shaped her intention; signifying the future element of
the lived experience. The participant’s sense of accomplishment after surviving the
semester poled at two ends. At one end, she was proud to have done better teaching
methodology for employing the principles of ER instead of conventional grammar
instruction. She was not less assured about the empowerment ER could give. But
at the opposite end, she was rather dissatisfied with her own time management;
causing a less effective measurement of students’ grammar achievement.
When focusing on meaning rather than on form, it is then more difficult to
use a proper method of measurement. There was a conflict on whether to measure
the performance or competence. The participant was not yet emphasizing on the
correct use and application of the sentence structure in the aforementioned three
tenses but rather was still focusing on triggering students’ critical thinking to be
more aware of the sentence pattern. Hence, it was difficult to really measure the
extent of the grammar discovery the students had acquired at the end of the
semester.
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But, that time I was thinking of experimenting with, I want to try

implementing the real ER to focus on learning grammar. But, I
think I fail to do so. In my opinion, it doesn’t run as to how I
expected it to be. [Q1.i]
I think in both semesters, I failed. But, at least this semester I have
made some preparation. So, indeed I fail; but I have prepared
everything. Not so much in vain. While the one on that first
semester; I did make some preparation but not as detail as this
semester. That’s it, from the aspect of preparation. But when it
comes to the aspect of giving feedback, I give less feedback now
that I did back then … So I feel, I feel I don’t give them sufficient
feedback. Although I manage to provide them with more activities
now than back then. [Q1.iv]
On top of that, assessing grammar proficiency would also violating her
initial goal of changing perspective on reading. Stoeckel, Reagan, and Hann (2012,
p. 193) share the same notion when claiming that “although assessment may
provide a temporary incentive to read, students may also interpret it as a form of
coercion and become less interested in reading”. When intended for assessment,
students initially might develop the motivation to read. However, as no longer
genuinely done out of their own will and pleasure, the motivation will not be
persistent. Such reading will once again bring them back to the cycle of the vicious
reader as being more of intensive reading rather than ER. The participant, hence,
decided not to explicitly assessed the students’s competence. Her measurement -as
being obligatory by the curriculum of formal education- had been more emphasized
on the aspect of the students’ performance throughout the activities and projects
given.
Another thing that the participant had pondered at the end of the semester
was about the load she had put on the students. Her strong belief in reading
combined with her resistance in grammar teaching had led her to focus more on the
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reading aspect rather than on the grammatical aspect. As a result, she had too many
reading activities more than what she could handle; especially when compared to
the credit allotments. She found her syllabus was less effective in terms of the
discovery learning.
Actually, what I’ve been meaning is that grammar supposed to be

not taught as a kind of formula; it doesn’t have to be memorized.
But instead, while reading there must have been some grammar
involved in it. That is also why I designed the syllabus into
discovery learning; they should discover the grammar themselves.
But the reality didn’t meet my expectations. [Q7.ii]
The many numbers of the activities took the biggest portion of the participant’s time
for the before-class preparation and during-class implementation; that she almost
left with no time to attend to the submitted project after the class. Most of her
observation toward the grammar intake was during the times when she explicitly
gave feedback to either each student personally or addressing the most frequently
shared error to the whole class. At times, she would also directly gave them
elicitation feedback as for considering the time explicit feedback would consume
as well as the broad areas of error the students showed. After all, her initial plan is
to assist the students in acquiring the language instead of teaching them the
language itself. Hence, grammar intake was hardly measurable.
Upon reflecting on the issues, the participant drafted a revision plan for the
following academic year’s grammar class. She planned to reduce the number of the
activity to allocate more time to read and allow her some more time attending the
grammatical aspects, as required by the curriculum.
What I reflect from the class implementation, for the next semester
class of Grammar that I have also told you about, I will not use the
same syllabus. My approach would still be from ER because I still
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believe that the learning input must still be from reading. But, I
will not make it as rigid as it is. And then after that, this semester’s
syllabus has one activity for one meeting, one activity for one
meeting, I now think that it is not effective. One activity is
supposed to be used for several meetings; as to how I told you
before. So, one meeting is for preparing something -one meeting
is for preparing something- until we have reached the goal. Similar
to project-based learning I guess. It would be like that! And I also
think that the Discovery Learning is not running smoothly. I think
it’s not. Well, they do discover. But the biggest flaw is that I never
have time to check. So I only check their works during early
classes. I checked; ‘owh they had posted!’ I simply checked up to
Future, only until Future. But I didn’t go further to really break
down in which area do they make a wrong perception. [Qi.ii]
This revision is meaningful not only for showing the participant’s intention as the
future element of her experience but at the same time has also reaffirmed the central
position of ER throughout the narrative. The persistence that the participant showed
toward implementing ER principles despite the considerably less successful
discovery has once again signified how she redefines reading as empowerment. Not
only to empower herself amidst the oppression but to also empower her students to
gain communication and critical thinking skills through reading.
As revision belongs to the future element of experience, it is not yet
supported by any archival data or related artifacts. This revision plan was simply
told by the participant during the recorded interview. However, to ensure the
truthfulness of the participant’s told, the third-party confirmation -previously
mentioned in chapter III- played a crucial role in serving as the credibility
insurance. Particularly on this issue, the participant’s revision plan as elaborated
from the excerpt above had been confirmed to be true; as the participant herself
consulted the draft to the recruited third-party credibility auditor.

CHAPTER VI
CONCLUSION
Besides for its academic objective to understand the experience of English
lecturer in non-English department when implementing ER as grammar instruction,
this narrative inquiry –being a pure qualitative research- has also been my personal
journey of unraveling the true value of qualitative research methodology; as how I
had briefly mentioned in chapter I. Throughout the process of narrating my
participant’s experiences, I came to realize how substantial a narrative could be for
human experiences are indeed not only authentic but are also insightful. It brought
me back to my past as a kid who enjoyed folklores. Before later being preserved as
a written manuscript, folklores were traditionally spread among people orally as a
form of wisdom and life lesson passed on from generation to generation. As such,
each folklore always ended with the moral value which indicates a consensus belief
interpreted from the story; the character portrayal, the conduct and life events. It
helps me understand that the story had indeed been used as a teaching medium since
long ago. And to me personally, the narrative adopts a similar approach in
presenting knowledge. As in the academic field, learning from one’s experience is
more practical than reading a theoretical handbook. Personal experiences teach
more of stories that we can relate better than the remote theory tested on probably
far context than our own. After all, knowledge comes from human experiences;
hence understanding experiences is the core of a discovery.
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A. IMPLICATIONS
The findings of this study put forward some implications on the issue of ER
implementation and for The Department in specific, and to all other non-English
departments in general.
1. ER Implementation in a Formal Course
The language competence acquired through ER is that of what naturally
learners would have during an extensive period of time practicing it, which are
equal to the extensive number of books or materials being read. As such, the
linguistic knowledge acquired through ER is implicit rather than explicit. Implicit
knowledge will closely relate to linguistic performance while explicit is closer to
linguistic competence. Thus, when adopting ER as a formal course in the formal
educational institutions, challenges will lie upon these two linguistic areas.
Moreover, the implementation of ER in a formal education also bounds to
compromise the extensive amount of time due to the academic credits of the course
and the semester academic year. Although ER can always be done independently
outside the classroom, the teacher must measure learner’s development at a certain
period of time or at the end of the semester. Being more aware of the function and
meaning somehow is equal to less awareness of the form. In the context of formal
education, this is sadly considered as unideal for most education institutions require
a rigid competence measurement. Unless the curriculum can guarantee the
extensive amount of time required for ER, the success of its implementation for
formal education will less likely be guaranteed. Provided that the teacher
implementing the ER program for formal education is granted an extensive course

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timeline -credit allotments and the number of meetings-, the teacher can then create
a balance in adapting the ER principles to meet the measurement required.
2. Institutional Belonging
The participant showed no sense of belonging in The Department due to lack
of dialogue and/or formal and informal discussion among colleges. It indicates that
personal bonds and collegial bonds are presumably built sequentially in time; if not
the cause for each other. The non-English department should have catered the needs
of all lecturers of all courses equally to promote a healthier working environment
which in turn will lead to a strong sense of institutional belonging.
3. Curriculum Compliance
The participant’s life experience and the environment in her working place
had collaboratively driven her classroom management. Thus, it implicates that
teacher must ideally be involved right from the initial process of designing the
curriculum, or preferably earlier during the framework design, to fully embodied
the program and hence ensures its success. These findings signify that low
institutional belonging is a threat to the success of a program. Even with the absence
of retaliation, teacher’s beliefs and understandings play a significant role in
curriculum compliance. When the teacher is not involved during the curriculum
design, there is a tendency of retaliating when not in accordance with his/her beliefs.
A symbiotic relationship between teacher and institution plays a significant role in
the success of a learning-teaching program.

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4. Building Awareness among Policymakers
Another finding also showed how the participant values professional
development to make some betterments in her classroom experiences and to apply
for a new learning-teaching program. It indicates that English lecturer in a non-
English department generally receives fewer inputs from the department, and thus
seeks feedbacks from outside. Being a minority, an English lecturer wishes to
receive more input to support the success of the English program. More than that,
support can also be given by way of providing easy access to communicate any
barrier. The findings have pictured the consecutive obstacles the participant faced
in terms of teaching strategies to be applied to avoid violating the curriculum’s
preconceived notions. Thus it implicates that promoting awareness among
policymakers –within department or university at a higher level- is deemed more
urgent. Lecturer’s role will most likely be limited from self-enrichment to revision
proposal as they both directly touch upon classroom management. However,
without a legit supportive administration officially authorized by the policymakers,
any learning-teaching design would meet some hindrances as possibly crossing at
some points with the pre-defined policies. Overcoming barriers during
implementation level will be minimized providing that the department’s and/or
university’s policymakers are fully aware of the benefit and output of the program,
and thereby support the running of the program thoroughly.
B. RESEARCH DIFFICULTIES
Writing a narrative inquiry makes me aware of the wholesome load of
qualitative researchers must deal with. When planning for compiling data for this
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research study as to how I elaborated on my chapter III, I was fully aware to
anticipate an iterative, emergent, and interpretative data gathering process.
However, once I started the actual process, I realized that what initially appeared to
ease me had turned into my number one difficulty; time. What I was studying is a
dynamic human instead of a static object, making me had to adjust the schedule of
mine and my participant accordingly. The class that I observed alone took six
months to complete. Although I could’ve started writing before the class ended –as
to how I did, I still have to wait for the semester end to gather more comprehensive
findings. Likewise, arranging the schedule for having the interview was not less
challenging in the midst of our respective busy semester. In total, we had two formal
interviews; lasted for 1 hour 46 minutes for the first one, and 53 minutes for the
second one. The interviews brought me to the most time-consuming process of all,
those are transcribing and translating the scripts. Theoretically, it takes five hours
to transcribe an hour-long interview. But in my case, I couldn’t really tell how long
it exactly took me to finish all of those for I was not devotedly working on those
alone during the process. The final issue with the time I was experiencing occurred
during the final completion of the study when I presented the final draft to be
reviewed by my participant. Although I had each time asked for clarification during
the writing process either through text messages or recorded and unrecorded casual
talks, presenting my participant with the narrative I elicited from her is required to
ensure its validity and reliability (as once again explained in chapter III). Therefore,
for its significance, I could not really set a deadline for my participant to provide
154
me with her feedbacks; which later require me more timelines to revise the narrative
as per her validation.
C. LIMITATIONS AND SUGGESTIONS FOR THE FUTURE
RESEARCHER(S)
The difficulties I had with time combined with –again- the restricted time I
had to complete my thesis limited the research study in some ways. The best I could
do with the time I had was to focus on the participant’s experiences without
measuring the success or the effectiveness of the teaching methodology she
employed. Further research on the area will complete my study. Moreover, as
referring back to the implications I proposed, the measurement result would serve
a valuable strategy to promote awareness of reading literacy among policymakers.
When focusing on the students, on the other side, exploring their perspective when
receiving ER as grammar instruction will also beneficial in a way that teachers can
recognize the students’ beliefs better in hope of assisting them with the more
convenient and acceptable learning-teaching approach. Lastly, a research and
development study on some of the most successful activities which incorporated
ER and grammar instruction will ease other teachers to replicate the program.
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APPENDICES
Appendix 1 : Consent letter
Appendix 2 : Notice of research credibility
Appendix 3 : (Initial) Syllabus
Appendix 4 : Interview transcripts
xvi
RESEARCH INFORMATION SHEET
Invitation to participate in a research study "Discovering Grammar through Extensive Reading:

A Narrative lnquiry into the Life of an English Lecturer in a Non-English Department"
1. Researcher
I am Kurniawati Nur Fadhilah, a student of the Graduate Program of English Language
Studies of Sanata Dharma University. This research is a requirement for the Degree of
Magister Humaniora (M.Hum).
2, Purpose of the research

This research explores both the personal and professional experience of English lecturer in
the non-English department, particularly when implementing the principles of Extensive
Reading as grammar instruction. This study will specifically highlight several main issues
related to the topic area; which are Agency (motives and values), Practical Guidelines
(application and challenges), and Reflection (revision).
3. lnvolvement of the participant

The data gathered from the participant will be from class observation(s) and interview(s).
The observation will be conducted by sitting-in during several occasions of the class
throughout the Odd semester of the 20t8/201,9 academic year. The interview will consist of
a formal interview(s) and casual discussion during the pre/post-observation. Both, the
interview and observation will be videotaped. The interview, especially, will be transcribed
and attached as the appendices of the thesis.
4. Participant's rights
Participation is voluntary. lf you accept my invitation to participate in my research study,
you have the following rights:
i. To withdraw at any time you want without explanation.
ii. To ask about the research study at any time.
iii. To select the time and place of the interview(s).
iv. To refuse to answer any questions during the interview(s).
v. To be provided with transcripts of your interview(s).
vi. To welcome and deny the classroom observation(s) at your convenience.
vii. To require me not to use any information that you do not wish to be used in my
research study.
viii. To be sure to keep the confidentiality of your identity and other party(s) possibly
mentioned during the interview(s) and observation(s) upon your wish, and to be
able to select your and other party's pseudonym to be mentioned in the research
study.
tx. To be given access to the summary and findings of the research when it is finished.
x. To have a full authority to opt for changes (if any) of the final draft on part(s) which
are untrue to your experience, distorted from your perspective, and/or when against
your feelings.
Protecting your privacy

I will video-tape the interview and observation myself. ln case of the need for the third party to
transcribe the interview, all decisions and the party to be hired are subject to your approval. The
tapes and transcriptions, along with all data you might provide me with, will be stored safely and
will be used solely for the purpose of the research study. All data taken from you will only be
restrictively accessed by me as the researcher, you as the participant, and my thesis supervisor.
This research study is guided and supervised by Mukarto, F.X., Ph.D. as a senior lecturer at the
Graduate Program of English Language Studies of Sanata Dharma University.
lf you have issues or concerns about the research study, you may send your inquiry to the following
contacts:
Researcher : Kurniawati Nur Fadhilah Supervisor : Mukarto, F.X,, Ph.D.

Affiliation : Language Training Centre Affiliation : English Language Studies, Sanata
(LTC), Universitas Dha rma U niversity, Yogya karta,
Mu hammadiyah Yogyakarta lndonesia
Phone : +62 813 906 406 51 Phone : +62 878 386 800 07
Email : kn.fadhiela@gmail.com Email : kuliahmkt@gmail.com
lf you would like to accept this invitation to participate in the research, please hand-write the following
statement and give your signature on the spaces provided respectively.
"l hqve read and understood the research informotion sheet ond have been provided with more details
related to the research study to my comprehension, and hereby declare my voluntary porticipation on
the research study."
I'L.ave ,tcc^cL erd unotelgtood t\( veseolrcl^ in{orraa}ion slaect anct h6^r( Vetn
.lu +t"e ftscorfi 5htd5 tD
?vovidtd w,ill^ nnor'( details re\a*td '\g
(ongket^en Sioo, avnd \^Q,(Q\Y )gc\cN e. rny vduntarg yfi.:.oilrr.tion o\n
+\t VtS(arct^ t l^.rcf 5.
Signoture:
Full nome:
Lrcrnat(a l^ka^ ?arad..ta"
NOTICE OF RESEARCH CREDIBILITY
This notice is signed to ensure the credibility of a research study "Discovering Grammar
through Extensive Reading: A Narrative lnquiry into the Life of an English Lecturer in a Non-
English Department". The credibility variables ensured by the signing of this notice include a
testimony on these following matters:
L. The interview transcript has evidenced a truthful experience as per my observation when
both professionally and personally associating with the participant of this research.
2. All excerpts cited in the narrative, from which my name is included in and excluded from,
are true to the context.
3. The interpretation of this research's findirrgs has exhibited a shared understanding of my

individual comprehension of the participant's life.
lf you agree to the afore-mentioned list, please hand-write the following statement and grve
your signature on the spaces provided respectively.
"This notice is opproved voluntorily ond signed under NO coercion from ony porty. ln case of
further inquiry necessory, I would willingly be colled upon to be held occountoble for
clorificotion."
Mhte 18 afrrawfi W k dN *,/k Uo

Ntttsrn7,
Ca - l'n G,rL I W'W
Lr<- c.[tf u^fovr 'to bu hy'.l .a-C*^b,bV
Cl a-r;fi}.a-f, av"..
Signature:
Full name:
[sr^.^h'
APPENDIX 3. (Initial) Teaching Syllabus
Matrik Pembelajaran
Mingg Pert Kemampuan akhir Bahan Kajian Materi/Pokok Bahasan Strategi Latihan yang Kriteria Bobot Waktu
u ke yang diharapkan Pembelajaran dilakukan Penilaian Nilai (menit)
(indikator)
1 1 Taat hukum dan 1. Aturan perkuliahan - Lecture Presentasi dan 100’
disiplin dalam 2. RPS - Group diskusi
kehidupan 3. Pengenalan discussion
bermasyarakat dan Extensive Reading
bernegara. dan graded reader
2 2 HARDSKILL: Percakapan Reading experiences 1. Group Seminar 100’

Mampu menerapkan sehari-hari discussion mahasiswa
konsep-konsep dengan bahasa 2. Discovery
keterampilan dan Inggris learning
keindahan bahasa baik
lisan maupun tulisan
dalam pergaulan
internasional.
SOFTSKILL:
Memiliki mindset
internasional.
3 3 HARDSKILL: Kaidah tenses - Part of speech in 1. Group Games, 100’
Mampu menerapkan Bahasa Inggris sentence discussion discussion
konsep-konsep - Book identification 2. Discovery
keterampilan dan using blurb learning
keindahan bahasa baik 3. Cooperative
lisan maupun tulisan learning
dalam pergaulan
internasional.
SOFTSKILL:
Memiliki mindset
internasional.
(indikator)
4 4 HARDSKILL: Kaidah tenses - Phrases and simple 1. Group Diskusi 100’
Mampu menerapkan Bahasa Inggris sentence discussion kelompok,
konsep-konsep - Favorite quotes 2. Discovery presentasi, text
keterampilan dan learning creation.
dalam pergaulan
internasional.
SOFTSKILL:
Memiliki mindset
internasional.
5 5 HARDSKILL: 1. Kaidah - Form of questions 1. Group Diskusi 100’
Mampu menerapkan tenses Bahasa - Reading responses discussion kelompok,
konsep-konsep Inggris based on questions 2. Discovery presentasi
keterampilan dan 2. Kalimat learning
keindahan bahasa baik tanya dan 3. Cooperative
lisan maupun tulisan peniadaan learning
dalam pergaulan dalam kaidah
internasional. bahasa Inggris
SOFTSKILL:
Taat hukum dan
disiplin dalam
kehidupan
bermasyarakat dan
bernegara.
6 6 HARDSKILL: 1. Kaidah - Simple present 1. Group Diskusi (homework) 100’
Mampu menerapkan tenses Bahasa tense discussion kelompok, - Pengumpu
konsep-konsep Inggris. - Creating different 2. Discovery presentasi, text lan text-
keterampilan dan 2. Percaka ending learning creation. creation
keindahan bahasa baik pan sehari-hari 3. Cooperative via e-
lisan maupun tulisan dengan bahasa learning learning
Inggris
(indikator)
dalam pergaulan - Kelengkap
internasional. an aspek
narrative
SOFTSKILL: writing
Memiliki mindset
internasional.
7 7 HARDSKILL: 1. Percaka - Simple present 1. Group Diskusi 100’
Mampu menerapkan pan sehari-hari tense discussion kelompok,
konsep-konsep dengan bahasa - Giving opinion (the 2. Discovery presentasi
keterampilan dan Inggris gift) learning
keindahan bahasa baik 2. Kalimat 3. Cooperative
lisan maupun tulisan tanya dan learning
dalam pergaulan peniadaan
internasional. dalam kaidah
bahasa Inggris
SOFTSKILL:
Taat hukum dan
disiplin dalam
kehidupan
bermasyarakat dan
bernegara.
8 8 HARDSKILL: Kaidah tenses - Collocation 1. Individual Diskusi 100’
Mampu menerapkan Bahasa Inggris - Menulis puisi task kelompok,
konsep-konsep (poetry diamond) 2. Group presentasi, text
keterampilan dan discussion creation
keindahan bahasa baik 3. Discovery
dalam pergaulan 4. Cooperative
internasional. learning
SOFTSKILL:
Taat hukum dan
disiplin dalam
kehidupan
(indikator)
bermasyarakat dan
bernegara.
9 9 HARDSKILL: Kalimat tanya - Collocation 1. Group Diskusi 100’
Mampu menerapkan dan peniadaan - Mind mapping discussion kelompok,
konsep-konsep dalam kaidah 2. Discovery presentasi,
keterampilan dan bahasa Inggris learning
dalam pergaulan
internasional.
SOFTSKILL:
Memiliki mindset
internasional.
10 10 HARDSKILL: 1. Kaidah - Simple present 1. Group Diskusi 100’
Mampu menerapkan tenses Bahasa tense discussion kelompok,
konsep-konsep Inggris. - Giving opinion 2. Discovery presentasi,
keterampilan dan 2. Percaka (changing name of learning
keindahan bahasa baik pan sehari-hari characters) 3. Cooperative
lisan maupun tulisan dengan bahasa learning
dalam pergaulan Inggris
internasional.
SOFTSKILL:
Taat hukum dan
disiplin dalam
kehidupan
bermasyarakat dan
bernegara.
11 11 HARDSKILL: 1. Kaidah - Past tense 1. Group Diskusi 100’
Mampu menerapkan tenses Bahasa - Making profile for discussion kelompok,
konsep-konsep Inggris. the characters 2. Discovery presentasi, text
keterampilan dan 2. Percaka learning creation.
keindahan bahasa baik pan sehari-hari
(indikator)
lisan maupun tulisan dengan bahasa 3. Cooperative
dalam pergaulan Inggris learning
internasional.
SOFTSKILL:
Memiliki mindset
internasional.
12 12 HARDSKILL: 1. Kaidah Book ads presentation Group Presentasi Sesuai dengan 15% 100’
Mampu menerapkan tenses Bahasa presentation rubrik
Uji kompetensi 1
konsep-konsep Inggris.
keterampilan dan 2. Kalimat
keindahan bahasa baik tanya dan
lisan maupun tulisan peniadaan
SOFTSKILL:
Memiliki mindset
internasional.
13 13 HARDSKILL: 1. Kaidah Book ads presentation Group Presentasi Sesuai dengan 15% 100’
Mampu menerapkan tenses Bahasa presentation rubrik
Uji kompetensi 1
konsep-konsep Inggris
keterampilan dan 2. Kalimat
keindahan bahasa baik tanya dan
lisan maupun tulisan peniadaan
SOFTSKILL:
Memiliki mindset
internasional.
14 14 HARDSKILL: 1. Kaidah Creating book markers 1. Group Diskusi 100’
Mampu menerapkan tenses Bahasa discussion kelompok,
konsep-konsep Inggris
(indikator)
keterampilan dan 2. Kalimat 2. Discovery presentasi, text
keindahan bahasa baik tanya dan learning creation.
lisan maupun tulisan peniadaan 3. Cooperative
dalam pergaulan dalam kaidah learning
SOFTSKILL:
Taat hukum dan
disiplin dalam
kehidupan
bermasyarakat dan
bernegara.
15 15 HARDSKILL: Percakapan Reading games and 1. Group Seminar 100’
Mampu menerapkan sehari-hari competition discussion mahasiswa
konsep-konsep dengan bahasa 2. Discovery
keterampilan dan Inggris learning
lisan maupun tulisan and
dalam pergaulan collaborative
internasional. learning
SOFTSKILL:
Memiliki mindset
internasional.
16 16 HARDSKILL: Kaidah tenses Grammar application in Individual task Uji kompetensi Kesesuaian 20% 100’
Mampu menerapkan Bahasa Inggris various text types kedua teks dengan
konsep-konsep rubrik
keterampilan dan
keindahan bahasa baik
lisan maupun tulisan
dalam pergaulan
internasional.
SOFTSKILL:
(indikator)
Taat hukum dan
disiplin dalam
kehidupan
bermasyarakat dan
bernegara.
APPENDIX 4. Interview Transcripts
Q1.0 Dila How did you come to the decision of implementing ER in your How did you come to the decision of implementing ER in your Grammar
Grammar class? class?
Uke Hhmmm… satu karena gak setuju kalau Grammar tu ada di semester Hhmmm… One because I don’t agree to give Grammar on the first
satu karena mereka udah pernah dapat, trus aku gak begitu suka. semester because they had learnt it before, and also because I don’t
Habis itu karena eeeee…. habis belajar tentang ER itu kan; karena like it. Moreover, eee… after learning more of ER; because the learning
inputnya lebih enak kalo seumpamanya dari –apa- dari reading dulu. input will be better when it is from reading. So that’s why I believe that
Makanya terus -apa namanya- karena Grammar itu bisa dipelajari grammar can be learnt through reading although it is incidentally, so I
pada saat membaca juga walaupun incidental, jadinya ya udah pake decided to use reading.
ini dulu; pake reading dulu gitu.
Q1.i Dila Trus tadi bilangnya gak di semester satu gitu ya. So incase itu… You said that it’s not supposed to be given on the first semester. So in
[unfinished] case it is… [unfinished]
Uke [cutting] owh enggak sih! klo menurutku nek buat -apa yakan kalo [cutting] Owh, no! In my opinion –what is sit- there are only two
di [The Department] kan cuma 2 semester trus kalo seumpama yang semesters of English in [The Department] and so if the first one is for
satu itu dipakai buat grammar full, nek menurutku ki kok eman-eman grammar, it is going to be such a waste, ms. Because when we learn
gitu lo ms. Karena kalo seumpama kita belajar Grammar tok gitu ya grammar only… [Unfinished] so I was not given a syllabus from The
… [unfinished] Kan klo yang di The Department itu gak dikasih Department, and thus I need to design my own syllabus. Eee, then when
silabusnya, jadi aku juga harus bikin silabusnya sendiri gitu kan. eee, I refer to the curriculum which is based on the KPT, the objective of the
trus klo dilihat dari kurikulumnya mereka yang berdasarkan KPT itu English class is to create students with international mindset. The
tu tujuan kelas bahasa Inggris itu adalah untuk mencipatakan anak objective is that one only! So, I find it difficult to relate it; how grammar
yang memiliki mindset international. Tujuannya tu cuma itu tok! La can impose international mindset? Well, in my opinion, if we want to
nek seumpama seko Grammar trus aku jadi kesulitan me-relatenya; have international mindset we should not only learn grammar. Rather,
bagaimana si Grammar itu bisa bikin mereka punya mindset we should –this is what I personally think- because, eee… [Finding
international? La, nek menurutku, klo pingin punya mindset words] what is it [pausing abit long] what is it; as I read more about
international ya nggak dari belajar grammar; gitu lo. Tapi dari -kalo reading, I believe more exposure will be gained through reading. And
aku ya- karena eee [finding words] apa namanya [pausing a bit long] so, because when we read we can still learn grammar. So –what is it-
apa ya, lebih banyak exposure yang aku cari untuk diriku sendiri incidental. Sorry, accidental [self correcting]. So, not solely learn
tentang reading yang kupercaya ya; ya dari reading gitu lo. La trus, grammar. Well, but actually it is also possible; the name of the course
karena dengan membaca itupun bisa tetep belajar grammar. Jadi - is Grammar but what I then give is, eee… -what is it- deconstruct
apa namanya- incidental itu. Sorry; accidental itu [self correcting]. method. For example I give reading material and ask students to pin
Jadi ngak yang cuma Grammar thok gitu. Ya walaupun sebenarnya point the grammar focus from the text. That’s what I also do in my class;
bisa aja sih ya; judule kuliahe ki Grammar, tapi trus aku ngasihnya as what you saw last time. But, that time I was thinking of
ee… -apa namanya- deconstruct itu lo kayak ada bacaan trus nanti experimenting with, I want to try implementing the real ER to focus on
dari bacaanya dilihat ini ada grammarnya apa; apa. Itu juga apa yang learning grammar. But, I think I fail to do so. In my opinion, it doesn’t
aku lakukan dikelas yang kemarin kan kamu juga lihat itu. Tapi yang run as how I expected it to be.
kemarin ini kan aku juga mo nyobain; ak mau nyobain ER yang

beneran ER untuk masuk belajar Grammarnya. Tapi menurutku yo,
yo gagal ngono kae lah. Kalau menurutku tidak –tidak- berjalan
dengan yang kuharapkan.
Q1.ii Dila Dalam aspek apa? In what aspect?
Uke ee… nek menurutku kok mereka tu malah jadi gak belajar banyak gitu ee… as I see it they didn’t learn much out of it. Because eee… despite
lo. Karena eee… walaupun persiapannya kalau, kalau aku sendiri ya, my preparation, in my personal opinion, I was actually gave this
persiapanya justru yang lebih banyak itu disini. Aku belum pernah semester the most preparation. I had never prepared any other courses
mempersiapkan sampai sedetail itu untuk mata kuliah yang lainnya. up to this detail. So, it’s like that… so I really prepared every little detail
Gitu lo… jadi ini tak siapin detail sampai satu meeting itu mau apa, of this courses for each meeting what I want to do, the scorring aspect,
mau aspek penilainyya, ee aspek penilainya sih enggak, Cuman satu eee…. Well, not until the scorring aspect I guess; it’s just up to its
meeting itu nanti kegiatanyya mau apa aja. Satu semester yang detailed activity for each meeting. In one semester, what I want to score
dinilai mau mana aja. Ya kayak, apa namanya, mau nyiapin satu them from. Well, it’s like –what is it- when we design a whole complete
silabusnya yang di PPB itu lo. Cuman itu kan aku melakukannya syllabus in LTC. It’s just that I did everything by myself, because I only
sendiri, karena aku ngobrol tu kan Cuma sama mbak Luluk to waktu discuss it with Ms. Luluk at that time. And because her concern is not
itu. Dan karena kan dia kan nggak concern ke ER ya, jadi maksudnya.. on ER, I mean eee…., her feedback was in general. Like that… so, it turns
ee… feedback itu kan diberikan secara general. Kayak gitu… la terus, out that the course was not as how I planned it to be. So, what I shared
ternyata ya tidak bisa berjalan sesuai dengan apa yang ku plan. Kan, with you -what is it- have already included the dates right? Dates and
aku yang tak share ke ms.Dila itu kana ada - apa namanya- tanggalnya the activities; even up to that detail. It is so rigid. But it turns out that it
ya kan. Hari-tanggal ngapain, hari-tanggal ngapain; sampai sedetail can’t be conducted as the plan for various reasons. First, I have many
itu gitu lo. Rigid sekali kan. Tapi ternyata itu tidak bisa berjalan urgent agendas, so I must cancel the class on the schedule. That’s how
sedemikian rupa seperti yang kuharapkan, yo banyak hal. Satu aku it was. It has been, it has become a flaw that will influence the following
banyak kegiatan yang dadakan, trus aku jadi gak bisa dateng untuk schedules. Infact, I had actually determined not to come when there
di jadwalnya. Kayak gitu ya. It itu udah, itu tu udah flaw yang was invitation form University, there were some agendas and I didn’t
mengganggu satu jadwal belakang-belakangnya gitu kan. Itu sudah attend them; I prioritized attending my class. However, there were still
tak usahakan kalau ada undangan Univ aku nggak berangkat, ada apa unavoidable urgent matters that forced mw to cancel the class. I have
aku nggak berangkat; yang penting aku masuk ke kelas gitu. Tapi, to skip the class; and then …. Having a make up class is also another
tetep gak bisa karena ada hal-hal yang aku nggak bisa … nggak bisa difficulty. Although my class is not, I don’t have that many clasess. It
untuk nggak berangkat gitu lo. Kudu skip kelas; nahh… trus mau was just that I went out of town often. During the last semester. So
make up class juga sulit. Padahal kelas ku ki ya, gak begitu banyak. there were many things outside the schedule. While for the -what later
Cuman kemarin tu aku banyak keluar kota apa ya. Semester kemarin I am thinking of- what I reflect from the class implementation, for the
itu. Jadi ada hal-hal yang ada diluar itu. Kalau yang tak -yang next semester class of Grammar that I have also told you about, I will
kemudian ee.. apa ya- yang ku-reflect untuk pelaksanaan kelasnya, not use the same syllabus. My approach would still be from ER because
itu untuk semester depan waktu mata kuliah Grammar yang kemarin I still belief that the learning input must still be from reading. But eee, I
waktu aku cerita k ems. Dila itu, aku trus tidak akan menggunakan will not make it as rigid as it is. And then after that, this semester’s
hal yang sama. Pendekatanku mungkin akan masih tetep pakai ER syllabus has one activity for one meeting, one activity for one meeting,
karena aku masih percaya bahwa belajarnya emang dari situ gitu. I now think that it is not effective. One activity is supposed to be used
Tapi ya, aku tidak akan membuatnya se-rigid itu. Trus habis itu, for several meetings; as how I told you before. So, one meeting is for
karena kalau yang kemarin kan satu meeting satu kegiatan, satu preparing something -one meeting is for preparing something- until we
meeting satu kegiatan, itu tu menurutku jadi nggak efektif gitu. have reached the goal. Similar like project-based learning I guess. It
Harusnya, satu kegiatan itu tu dipakai untuk beberapa meeting kayak would be like that! And I also think that the Discovery Learning is not
yang aku udah pernah share itu. Jadi, yang satu itu mempersiapkan running smoothly. It think it’s not. Well, they do discover. But the
apa, yang satu itu mempersiapkan apa, sampai ada goalnya. Kayak biggest flaw is that I never have time to check. So I only check their
project-based learning kayak gitu. Kayak gitu! Dan discovery works during early classes. I checked; ‘owh they had posted!’ I simply
learningnya menurutku tidak berjalan lancar. Gitu. ya mereka checked up to Future, only until Future. But I didn’t go further to really
discover. Yang flaw banget adalah aku nggak sempet ngecek. Jadi aku breakdown in which area do they make a wrong perception. Because
tu ngecek Cuma pas diawal-awal. Trus aku ngecek; ohh mereka udah the initial plan is to, what they did, what they shared on E-Learning
posting sampai ke future itu aku Cuma ngecek thok gitu lo. Aku nggak platform is –they shared their works there, right- so, after that they
yang trus tak detail lihat; owh mereka ada salah persepsi disebelah have to bring it inside the class; that’s how I initially planned it. So, I
mana gitu. Karena menurutku, yang mereka lakukan, yang merka simply checked and read and noticed ‘owh, they had –they had- used
share di E-Learning nya itu kan –mereka share kan nya disitu- nah, the sentence pattern correctly. And unfortunately, I don’t really know
habis itu baru mau dibawa ke kelas kan; rencanyanya kan emang whether they can really comprehend the actual use of the sentence
mau kayak gotu to. Haaa…. Aku Cuma ngecek trus habis itu aku baca patterns or not. Although there is an activity in which I asked them to
trus waktu aku lihat itu ‘owh, mereka udah yang, uda pake rumus- take parts from what they’ve read. Well, ya they did take some parts
rumusnya tu yang oke gitu’. Nah, sayangnya kan aku nggak ngerti out of what they read. Just used those parts. But I don’t have time to
apakah mereka bisa menggunakan rumusnya atau enggak. Gitu lo. carefully check it. So, their effort of compiling those parts goes to a
Walaupun ada, tugasku tu kan ada minta ngambil yang dari reading waste. So it’s like, eee… they only received feedback from me during
texnya yang mereka baca. Ya.. ya ngambilnya ya udah. Diambil aja. early classes. And then after that the class simply runs as how it usually
Gitu! Dan aku nggak ada waktu untuk benar-benar ngecek gitu. Jadi is. I wish that it ends quickly. I simply go as how the syllabus is, just like
yo, kan eman-eman mereka le nggolek. Kayak gimana -nggak dapet that.
eee…- feedback nya tu Cuma awal-awal thok dari aku. Trus habis tu
ya udah, kelasnya berjalan berlangsung seperti biasa. Gek ndang-o
rampung kelase gitu, kayak gitu gitu lo. Hanya menjalankan silabus,
intinya kayak gitu.
Q1.iii Dila Jadi tadi kan, masih ngomongin tentang ee… rasa kegagalanmu gitu So you said that, still talking about ee.. your feeling of failure. So, ee.. in
ya. So, ee… jadi intinya yang kamu anggap sebagai gagal itu ada di brief you consider this to fail for two aspects. Correct me if I’m wrong!
dua sisi. Correct me if I’m wrong! Jadi dari mahasiswanya, kamu So from students’ point of view, you think they don’t get as much as
merasa mereka tidak mendapat terlalu banyak. Darr kamunya, kamu
juga kurang memberi banyak karena kurang feedback dan segala they should. While from you, you feel like you haven’t given them much
macem. Seperti itu? feedback and things related to that. Am I understanding it correctly?
Uke [nodding several times] [nodding several times]
Q1.iv Dila Ok, trus kemudian kan kita juga pernah bicara tentang perasaan Ok, then you had also once talking about your feeling of failure when
gagalmu saat pertama kali kelas ini yang merupakan kelas pertama you had this class at the very first time, the first class you taught after
yang kamu ajar semenjak kamu ke The Department juga gitu ya. you joined The Department. So … [cutting; owh, ye – yes, badge 2017]
Terus…[cutting owh, he-eh he-eh, yang anak 2017] He-eh..yang yes, that one! On the first semester you started teaching there. So, if
semester awal yang dulu yang kamu pertama kali ke sana. Nah we then –if- we compare your failure that you felt back then and what
kemudian kalau -kalau di-compare- kalau dulu kegagagal-anmu yang you are feeling right now; how –how- do you compare that?
kamu rasakan dulu dan sekarang itu; how –how- do you compare
that?
Uke Emmm…. Nek menurutku ya sama-sama gagal. Cuman kalau yang Emmmm…. I think in both semester, I failed. But, at least this semester
sekarang kan aku sudah mempersiapkanya gitu ya. Jadi aku gagal I have made some preparation. So, indeed I fail; but I have prepared
cuman aku sudah pernah nyiapin gitu. Bukan yang in vain banget. everything. Not so much in vain. While the one on that first semester; I
Kalau dulu ya aku ya nyiapin, tapi nyiapin nya tu nggak yang sedetail did made some preparation but not as detail as this semester. That’s it,
ini gitu lo. Gitu, kalau dari sisi persiapan sih seperti itu ya. Tapi kalau from the aspect of preparation. But when it comes to the aspect of
dari sisi nggak bisa kasih feedbacknya, aku lebih tidak bisa ngasih giving feedback, I give less feedback now that I did back then. Back then
feedback yang sekarang. Kalau yang dulu -kan aku kan make ER nya –so I used ER too right- and the point was I just asked them to read. I
tu- mereka pokok-e waton tak kon moco gitu lo ms. Aku menyiapkan prepared the book, and they could borrow them. What makes it
bukunya juga, mereka boleh pinjem dan lain sebagainya. Cuman different is that they -badge 2017- every time they read they would
waktu yang 2017 itu, setiap mereka mbaca mereka nulis diary, write diary, the diary was submitted to me. And so I wrote on them. So,
diarynya dikumpulin ke aku. Trus aku nulis gitu. Jadi ada –ada- buku there were books to help controlling me. In a way that, when I had still
yang kemudian ngontrol aku juga. Bahwa, kalau bukunya masih those books piled on my desk, it meant that I hadn’t been able to give
numpuk ada di mejaku, itu tu kan berarti aku belum ngasih feedback them my feedback. So I must get rid of that piles of book by giving them
ke mereka gitu. Jadi aku harus segera menghilangkan buku itu feedback, and return the book to them. For this semester, there is no
dengan cara kasih feedback, kasih ke mereka kayak gitu. Kalau yang such thing. So I feel, I feel I don’t give them sufficient feedback.
sekarang kan nggak ada yang seperti itu gitu lo. Jadi aku tu kok, Although I manage to provide them with more activities now than back
ngerasanya nggak ngasih feedback gitu. Walaupun aku then.
mempersiapkan lebih banyak activity-nya yang sekarang daripada
yang kemrin gitu.
Q1.v Dila Kenapa yang bagian itu dihilangkan? [interrupting; Yang mana?] Why you omit that part? [Interrupting; which one?] Feedback, the book
feedback, book report itu. report.
Uke Emmmm, Itu tu kerjaan yang banyak banget-e. Karena –nganu- satu Emmm, it was such a heavy work! Because –thing is- one student one
anak satu, trus habis itu berkala per-dua minggu tu mereka kasih ke book, and then it was done periodically once in two weeks; they would
aku. Per-dua minggu itu tu ak harus kasih ke mereka. Gitu.. kayak give it to me. Once every two weeks I have to return it to them. It was
anak berapa? Sekitar 50-an kan. Gitu, dan itu kan handwriting gitu like that, so for how many students? Around 50 something students.
ya, trus ak harus mbaca satu-satu gitu. Trus, emmm... -apa namanya- And so, those were all hand-written so I had to read one by one. And,
yo ada yang beneran. Kalo yang beneran; mbaca tu, beneran bikin emmm… –what it is- well, some really wrote whole-heartedly. For those
feedback itu tu enak waktu mbaca, itu tu kayak emang ngobrol sama who wrote it seriously, it would feel nice to read and give feedback. I
anaknya. Jadi, ‘owhh, mereka belajar ini, belajar itu’ mereka bisa felt like I really talked to them as I was reading and writing them my
nge-relate ceritanya ke … mereka tu seneng gitu lo ms mbacanya. feedback. So, owh ‘the learnt this, they learnt that. They can relate they
Cuman kalo ada nyang embboh; sing nulis kan aku juga -aku juga, story to…’ well, in short it was nice to read those ones. But when I come
trus aku njuk- aku kudu nulis apa gitu kan. Bingung ya, gitu.. tapi across those who just wrote whatever; when I gave them feedback –I
sebenernya, emmm… kan kalo yang -apa namanya- yang 2017 would, I mean- I didn’t know what to write either. I become confused.
mereka bikin feedback itu; kalau mereka tak kasih feedback itu kan, But actually, emmm…. Those who were –what is it- those of badge 2017
ak sebenarnya juga buat research to sebenernya kalo yg itu. Hasilnya whom I gave feedback to; when I gave them feedback I actually did that
tu bagus, jadi mereka eee… mereka lebih ingin membaca karena for the sake of my research too. The result was good, so they eee….
akan dapet feedbacknya. Gitu! Karena kan jadi lebih deket, ya kan, They became more eager to read because they were receiving feedback
sama teachernya. Trus, emmm… ada juga yang kemudian mereka for that. Like that! Because they could also become closer; with the
jadi lebih berhati-hati pas nulis karena tahu akan dibaca sama teacher I mean. Moreover, emmm…. There were some who became
teachernya. Jadi tahu bahwa akan dibales. Dan -apa namanya- waktu more carefully wrote because they knew that it will be read by the
mereka baca kan ya memang lihat handwritingku gitu kan. teacher. So they knew they would be receiving feedback. And –what is
jadi…’owh, ms. Uke beneran mbaca’ gitu. Gitu sebenarnya! ya untuk it- when they read they also noticed my hand-writing, right? So they
student-teacher relationship jadi lumayan juga gitu. Walaupun itu thought ‘owh, ms. Uke really read it’. It was some sort of like that! In
kan semester satu, semester dua.. tak cobain lagi. Cuman aku cuman terms of student-teacher relationship, it resulted to a quite well.
bilang gitu lo, nggak yang, harus gimana-gimana gitu; akhirnya Although it was happening during the first semester; whilst on the
mereka nggak baca. [me interrupting; Yang sekarang ini… yang second semester, I tried the same thing again. But I simply asked them
semester ini yang nggak baca?] Bukan, anak 2017 yang kemarin to do so, without having to do anything in particular, and so they ended
tahun pertama semester gasal. Semester genapnya kan pas bikin up not reading again. [me interrupting; the ones in this semester? Those
conversation, trus ‘kalian besok baca lagi, nulis lagi kayak kemarin’ who don’t read] No, those of badge 2017; those who were on the first
aku tu cuman kayak gitu thok gitu lo, nggak yang ‘udah baca belum?’ odd semester. So, when they were on their second semester on even
atau yang apa, dan tak tanya-tanya tu juga nggak gitu lo. Jadi ya udah, semester –on conversation class- I told them ‘so this semester you
akhirnya trus tak hilangkan di, apa, di penilaian. Kalau yang should read again. Like what you did last time’ I simply said that, but not
sebelumnya aku nulis feedback itu kan tru tak kasih nilai. Setiap ada ‘have you read?’ or asking more of it and asked them further about it.
feedback ada nilai. Setiap mereka nulis diarynya, ada nilainya. And so, I decided to omit it from –what is it- from the scoring
components. While the one on the previous semester, each time I
wrote feedback I would give them score. For each feedback, there
would be score for that. Each time they wrote their diary, they would
receive score.
Q1.vi Dila Jadi, meskipun berhasil pada saat itu dilakukan [cutting; So, even though it was considered success when being implemented
feedbacknya?] he eh, saat feedback itu dilakukan dianggap berhasil [confirming; the feedback?] yes, so the feedbacks were considerably
gitu ya. Karena kemudian mahasiswa kan menjadi rajin mebaca rajin success when being implemented. Because the students read and
menulis, gitu. Tapi mungkin karena masih [cutting; loadnya, loadnya wrote more frequently. But then, because it was [cutting; the load, the
banyak banget ke aku. Ternyata sekarang… ] kamunya? Bukan, load is too much for me. And now it turns out that …. ] on you, right?
mahasiswanya kan, sekarang di semester berikuntnya –yang itu, Not the students! Now, on the following semester –those who during
yang dulu di semester pertamanya mereka sudah dianggap rajin their first semester were considered to read more frequently- on the
membaca, di semester berikutnya [cutting; enggak] karena tidak following semester stopped reading [cutting; they don’t] because
terlalu ditekan kan itu lagi, Jadi hilang gitu ya, nggak baca lagi. reading was not emphasized as how it was. So the habit was gone, they
no longer read.
Uke [nodding and giggling] nggak baca lagi, karena kan, emmm… itu [Nodding and giggling] they don’t read anymore, because, emmm…
berarti aktif tu berapa? Empat bulan ya ms ya [me confirming; satu they were active for how long? Four months, right? [Me confirming; one
semester?] ho oh… yak an? [responding; ho oh, empat sampai lima]. semester?] Yes, four moths isn’t it? [Responding; yes. Four to five
Empat bulan, ketemunya sama aku cuma seminggu sekali. Ya kan, moths]. Four months and we only had the class once a week. And also,
ngumpulin feedback nya dua minggu sekali dan itu kan kadang yo, submitting the feedback for twice a week and it –well- we know how
sing jenenge bocah yo ono sing ngumpul ono sing ora, kayak gitu kan. students are; they sometime submitted it while other times they didn’t.
Habbit nya belum terbangun; nggak cukup untuk membangun itu The habit was not yet well-developed; it was not sufficient to build the
gitu lo ms. Mereka kan juga banyak tugas-tugas yang lain, mereka habit. They were also having more other assignments, and had also
juga banyak kegiatan yang lain. Jadi, membaca tetep belum menjadi more activities. So, reading was not yet a habit for them. So, if we want
habbit. Jadi ya -kalo untuk- kalau mau dilihat -apa namanya- trus to see –what is it- weather they grow interest in reading or not after
mereka jadi seneng baca ap nggal gara-gara ada di kelasku, having being in my class, I think we couldn’t see it yet. It can’t be done
menurutku yo nggak juga gitu lo. Itu tu nggak se-instant itu gitu lo. instantly. One semester is too instant I think. [Me agreeing; ye yes, I
Satu semester itu tu masih terlalu instant nek menurutku. [me think so]. It can’t be done just like that. But during the class, I think they
agreeing; he eh, he eh, yess] nggak bisa. Cuma ya pada saat itu also did that for –pursuing- the sake of grade. But there were also some
berlangsung, nek menurutku juga karena for the sake of grade ya, students who, who were also my research participants, thanked me,
gitu. Cuman emang ada beberapa mahasiswa yang, yang jadi saying ‘thank you ms for giving us such assignment’ things like that
participant ku itu ada yang justru terimakasih ke aku ‘makasih ya ms ‘because I often used English before, but now not anymore. And now
sudah diberikan tugas seperti ini” gitu.. “karena dulu, aku sering ms. Uke give me such assignment’. And this student was particularly
pakai bahasa Inggris sekarang udah nggak pernah lagi. Tapi sekarang always submit the report and when s/he wrote it would be extremely
ms.Uke kasih aku yang seperti ini”, gitu. Dan dia selalu rajin long. But s/he sincerely told a story.
ngumpulinnya dan kalau nulis tu wahhh duowoneeee. Tapi dia
beneran cerita gitu lo.
Q1.vii Dila So, how did you feel? So, how did you feel?
Uke Ya kalau pas baca itu tu seneng ms. Karena –karena- aku merasa dia Well, when I was reading it of course I was happy ms. Because –
mendapatkan sesuatu. La kebahagiannku tu adalah kalau because- I felt she gained something. Well, my happiness is when my
mahasiswaku merasa dia belajar sesuatu, gitu lo! [me interrupting; students can learn something! [Me interrupting; by reading?] Well, by
dari membaca?] ya dari membaca, dari kelasku, kayak gitu lo. nggak reading, by being in my class, things like that. Even when it s not by
dari membaca tu juga, ya gakpapa lah. Dari membaca, karena pas – reading, it’s still fine for me. When they learn by reading, during this
pas- mata pelajaran ini, itu aku pake reading ya. Jadi kalau mereka course, because I gave them reading, right? So if they feel like they get
merasa mendapat sesuatu dari itu, itu tu my happiness tu doubled something out of it, my happiness is doubled! And agin, for this
gitu lo! Nah, kalau yang sekarang aku flaw banget. Padahal aku tu semester I think It is such a flaw. Eventhough I have prepared it so much
sudah persiapan sedemikian rupa hingga; aku sampe nginep-nginep to the extenT that I even spend nights at a hotel room to focus finishing
itu. Itu tu untuk nyiapin ini. [me interrupting; oiya? Bukan untuk apa everything about it. Last time I told you I spent a night outside, that was
tu… yang kalian kan lagi bikin research itu?] no, yang waktu itu, yang for this! [Me interrupting; owh ya? Not for –what is that- the research
aku nginep sama mbak Luluk itu; itu dia bikin proposal, aku bikin ini. that both of you are doing] no, I went to hotel with ms. Luluk for this;
Jadi, selama nginep itu yang aku lakukan hanya membuat silabusnya. she made a proposal while I prepared this. So, when we were staying
Bahkan sebelumnya ak udah bikin dulu. Jadi aku tu udah punya there the thing I was doing was just finishing the syllabus. Even before
gambaran besanya, udah nge-break down, trus waktu aku nginep, itu that, I had started thinking of what to do. So I had already have the big
aku yang cari reference nya. Trus, ‘owh ini ada reference untuk scheme, I had broken them down, so when I was staying at hotel I was
acivity yang ini’ trus tak masukkin, tak masukkin. Dan itupun masih searching for some references. And then ‘owh I found reference for this
evolve ya waktu itu. Wong, tengah semester kan masih diperbaiki activity’ and so I included it in the syllabus. Although the design was still
trus kan. Kayak gitu! Jadi, aku dah nyiapin; gagal karena ngga bisa di evolving. Infact, even until midsemester I still make some adjusments.
setiap meeting aku datang. Setiap meeting tidak bisa menghasilkan That’s what I did! So, I have made some preparations; but still I fail
seperti yang direncanakan. Aku nggak bisa ngecek -apa namanya- because I can’t attend to all the scheduled classes. In each meeting, I
discovery mereka. Aku nggak bisa ngecek tugas-tugas mereka. Trus can’t have the input I expected to get. I can’t either check their –what
habis itu sampai sekarang nialinya belum jadi. Aku tu belum mbaca is it- their discovery. I can’t check their assignments. Moreover, I haven’t
punya mereka. It’s like -like a failure. [me cutting; supposed to be? even finish their score. Haven’t read theirs. It’s like -like a failure. [Me
Deadline pengumpulanya?] supposed to be tomorrow [giggling]. Jadi cutting; supposed to be? The score submission deadline?] Supposed to
nilaiku yang sudah selesai tu ya hanya nilai PPB [giggling] luar biasa! be tomorrow [giggling]. So the score I have finished is only the one for
[giggling and clapping]. [me cutting; what a dedication ya] yang LTC [giggling] amazing! [Giggling and clapping]. [Me cutting; what a
lainya -yang lainya- waAllohu alam ms. Nggak ngerti lah [me cutting; dedication!] The score for other classes –for other classes- only God
bagus, bagus! saya berterimakasih] Gitu! Mungkin harusnya kalau di knows, ms. I don’t know [me cutting; good, good! I thank you!]. That’s
prodi juga kayak gitu ya. Ada soft copy nya tu yang udah jadi, bagus it. Probably Prodi must have also done the same, right! So there is a
enak gitu ya. Jadi, mbak Luluk juga yang kayak akuntansi itu kan, well-prepared soft copy; that will be great. So, in ms. Luluk’s accounting
kelasnya ER itu setiap meeting itu adalah activity hampir sama kayak class, the ER class also has activity in each meeting just like mine, ms.
punyakku ms. Jadi, [me cutting; kelasnya bu Marga atu?] kelasnya bu So, [me cutting; Ms. Mrga’s class?] ms. Marga’s class. So, it is similar like
Marga. Jadi, ya hampir mirip kayak punyakku. Kok aku nggak belajar mine. I wonder why don’t I learn? [Mumbling to herself] so Ms. Marga’s
ya? [mumbling to herself] jadi punya ms. Marga tu juga gitu. Setiap class is also very similar. Every meeting has –what is it- different activity
meeting tu beda, apanya, kegiatanya beda dan selalu ada product- and always has final product. So, [me cutting; every meeting?] almost
nya. So, [me cutting; setiap meeting?] hampir setiap meeting, gitu. every meeting like that. Moreover, in her class because there is –
Plus nggone ms. Marga kuwi karena ada, hemm…., based on ehmmm- teacher’s discretion or teacher is allowed to change the
teacher’s discretion atau teacher boleh ngganti activity nya, yo tak activity so I chose to change it as I wish. Well, and as you know when it
ganti to sesuai dengan kehendak hatiku. Ya biasa, sekendak hatiku tu is how I want it to be, it usually is complicated [giggling]. Wuaaaa… so
biasanya rempong gitu kan [giggling] wahh… jadi kegiatan tu banyak there are too many activities. As you see, how does my desk look like
banget. Kan kamu juga lihat sendiri, kertas tu di mejaku kayak apa. with all of those papers. Well, they made lots of products. Be it poster,
Eee… ya mereka sih hasilnya tu banyak ya. Poster lah, apalah, apalah, or any other things. So, that’s what I missed. The thing that ms. Luluk
apalah kayak gitu lo. Nah, itu yang aku missed. Yang baru aku dikasih has just informed me is; she said ‘Marga’s class has too many
tahu mbak Luluk itu adalah; mbak Luluk bilang ‘nggone Marga ki akeh assignments; so everytime I finished with the class or during the inclass
banget tugas-e kan, jadi aku begitu rampung kelas atau pas kelas activity I am taking score directly’. And I am not that type of person, I
masih berlangsung itu tu aku langsung ambil nilai’ gitu lo. Nah, aku am never do that. So when I am having the class, when students are
tu nggak tipe kayak gitu, nggak pernah seperti itu. Jadi kalu kelas doing activity, I am observing them completing the activity instead of
berlangsung mereka activity, aku tu melihat mereka beraktifitas directly taking their score. Except when they are having a presentation
nggak langsung menilai gitu lo. Kecuali kalau memang mereka where I am required to score them from, I will sit and take their score.
sedang presentasi yang harus dinilai, aku baru duduk dan menilai. But instead, each time they are having the class activity, I would just
Tapi kalau mereka activity aku tu cuma datang trus ‘piye? Ada come to them and say ‘how is it? Is there any difficulty?’ and go on with
kesulitan mana?’ trus nanti ‘owh ini tambahin gini, ni tambahin gitu’ ‘owh, you should put this here, put this there’ things like that. It’s not –
gitu lo. Nggak, belum pernah aku; di PPB juga nggak kayak gitu. I never di it like her. Even at LTC. Therefore, each time I need to take
Makanya kalau –kalau- mau ngambil nilai di PPB itu, kalau ada class score at LTC, when there is a score for class participation, I will give task
participation ya aku kasih tugas. Gitu, jadi ya aku kasih tugas. instead. So well, I give them task. Although the task must be done inside
Walaupun tugasnya itu ya di dalam kelas itu langsung selesai selesai the class and must be submitted right after that. So it’s never -like- they
langsung dikumpulin gitu ya. Tapi nggak yang, mereka ngapain aku do something while I bring a paper taking note. That’s never, I never did
bawa kertas sambil nyatetin gitu lo. Itu nggak, belum pernah aku that. And it will also difficult for me, I guess. Once, I did that when the
kayak gitu. Dan kesulitan juga sih. Dulu, dulu pernah tapi karena itu task was Gallery Walking; but it was on the last semester. So they were
juga pas tugas yang Gallery Walking itu; tapi yang semester kemarin. having a presentation –students were delivering a presentation- wo
Itu kan mereka presentasi gitu kan –mahasiswa presentasi gitu- jadi while walking I was taking score, things like that.
aku sambil jalan sambil nilai, gitu.
Q1.vii Dila Jadi kamu menilai apa yang ditugasnya bu Marga itu lebih berhasil So, you consider the type of task given in ms. Marga’s class is more
daripada kelasmu? succesfull than yours?
Uke In terms of students’ product iya. In terms of students’ product, yes!
Q1.vii Dila Tapi kok, aku kok melihat kayaknya kok contradict dengan yang tadi But, I somehow see it rather contradict with what you previousely said.
kamu sebutkan ya. Maksudnya, tadi menyebutkan bahwa di kelas bu I mean, you said that there is almost different activity in every meeting
Marga hampir setiap meeting pasti beda kegiatannya. Nah, tapi tadi in Ms.Marga’s class. But you also said before that when you are
kan kamu di awal bilang untuk me-reflect ya semester depan yang reflecting to what you have done, that for this course in the following
mata kuliah ini yang untuk semester berikutnya mungkin kamu tidak semester you will not make the syllabus as rigid as it is now. The one
akan membuatnya se-rigid yang sekarang. Kalo yang sekarang kan you are implementing right now has different activity each meeting,
gonta-ganti terus. Kok beda? Pendapatmu kok beda? right? Why you have different opinion on it?
Uke Aku kan di kelasnya bu Marga, aku tidak punya beban harus ngajar When I’m teaching at Ms. Marga’s class, I don’t have an obligation to
grammar ms. La nek ning kelasnya Bu Marga kan ming moco thok. teach grammar, ms. In ms. Marga’s class what matter is simply to read.
Jadi -apa namanya- kayak kita group discussion ‘what do you learn’ So –what is it- it’s kind of like having group discussion on ‘what do you
udah selesai. Tapi kalau yang dikelas Grammar kan aku ‘what do you learn’ and finish. But when I’m teaching for Grammar class I have to –
learn from the reading, let see how well you write in terms of the like- ‘what have you learnt after reading, let see how well you write in
grammar’ gitu kan. Kayak gitu. Jadi, ada beban harus ngajarin terms of the grammar’ that sort of things. That’s how I feel. There is a
grammar gitu lo, trus aku rak seneng ya. Gitu lo! Jadi, ‘kowe nek arep burden that I have to teach them grammar, and so I don’t enjoy it. So ‘if
sinau grammar ha tak ajarin grammar wae po. Koyo nek grammar-e you want to learn about grammar, how about I teach you grammar as
ning TOEFL kae lo. Kae malah karuan’. Gitu lo! Cuman kan, kamu in TOEFL? That would be better’. It’s just that ‘when you learn that kind
awal semester belajar gituan apa ya happy. Gitu lo. Walaupun ada of thing early in your first semester. Will you be happy with that? That’s
beberapa anak yang senengan-e kayak gitu ya, structuralist gitu lah. what I think. Although there are also some students who are fond of
Kayak gitu. Cuman aku nggak mau gitu lo. “ that kind of things; you know those structuralists –kind of thing. But I
‘Kowe ki wes mahasiswa-i mbok yo jangan suka yang terkungkung don’t want it. ‘You are now a college student, so how come you still
dengan peraturan yang seperti itu’, [as if talking to students] gitu lo. want to be confined with that kind of thing?’ [as if talking to students]
Makanya kalau membaca tu kan bebas to, gitu [giggling]. Gitu, kan that’s why, when you are reading, you are free. Right? [Giggling] you
kamu bebas milih, itu lucu lo! mbok dapat ide apa gitu daripada -opo- will have freedom to chose, that’s cool! Please get some ideas, rather
sinau grammar. ‘ayo! subject, verb, tambahin -s tambahin –ed!’ than simply learn grammar. ‘Come on! This is subject, verb, add it with
[illustrating situation inside classroom] ha, ngono thok kan yo rak –s, with –ed! [Illustrating situation inside classroom] will it be fun to
seru ya. Tapi walaupun gitu ngajar grammar tu ya banyak cara nya. have such activity? But, nevertheless, teaching grammar has many
Banyak sisi -apa ya- kalau mau dibikin fun juga ya bisa aja. Tapi ya, itu methods. Many –what is it- if we want to make it fun, there is a way.
kan karena aku pengenya yo mbok ya dari membaca gitu. Mungkin But, well. It’s just that what I want to have is reading. Probably, that’s
itu part of my ideal juga. Ya harus menurunkan dikit tu ya. also part of my ideal. Well, think I should tone it down.
Q2.0 Dila Emang kenapa harus reading sih. I mean, eee… kenapa reading? Ya, Why it should be reading? I mean, eee… why reading? Well, you have
kamu sudah bilang bahwa kamu so into it gitu ya, you’re so said that you are so into it, you’re so passionate about reading. But,
passionate about reading gitu ya. Tapi kok ,once again, kenapa harus once again, why it has to be reading? Wht not speaking, or writing?
reading? Kenapa nggak yang lewat speaking kek, lewat writing kek,
gitu?
Uke Ya, kan pertama harus punya input dulu kan. Kalo semisalnya mau, Well, ya first because it must be started from input, right? If say for
apapun itulah, mau menulis mau ngomong itu harus –harus- tau dulu example we want to, whatever it is, want to write or want to speak, we
apa yang mau ditulis apa yang mau diomongkan. Nah, yang –apa must –must- know first what to write or what to say. So, the –what is it-
namanya- yang paling gampang tu kan ya dari baca. Gitu lo. Kamu the easiest way is by reading. That’s it! You read [me cutting; easy huh?]
baca... [me cutting; gampang ya?] yo, nek menurutku tu mudah. well, I think it’s easy. It’s easy to acess, right? And also, emm, the
Mudah mencarinya, ya kan? Trus habis itu, eemmm, variasi information variation is also broad. I think! That’s one, as an input. Be it
infromasi-nya kan juga banyak. Gitu lo. Ya itu satu, cari input ya. for the sake of reading or not, but the point is through reading.
Mboh itu mau buat belajar bahasa kek ato enggak kek gitu, tapi kan Watching probably, if it’s not –it’s not- reading. But so far I haven’t
dari baca. Nonton lah paling -kalau ngak apa- kalau nggak baca. found the source for graded watching. But for reading, I have found the
Cuman kalau nonton aku belum dapat yang graded, gitu lo. Kalau sources for the graded ones. Because the context is, eeee…, the context
baca karena aku sudah punya yang graded. Karena, eee… contextnya s for them to learn language, and os it has to be from reading. And once
yang dulu ini tu kan untuk mereka belajar bahasa, makanya dari baca the have learnt reading, th at would make them –since they are
gitu lo. Trus kalau sudah biasa baca, itu tu nantinya –karena mereka academics, right- how do they upgrade their knowledge if it is not from
kan akademisi to- la, mereka mau update informasi darimana kalo reading? It simply like that. If they are not used to reading, simply used
nggak dari baca? Gitu lo. Kalau nggak terbiasa baca, cuma terbiasa to listen from others, how can you cross-check the information? It all
ndenger kata orang, la kamu mau cross-check darimana? Kan mbalik come back to reading, I think. If you don’t like reading, how would you
lagi harus baca, gitu lo. Kalau nggak seneng baca, ya besok-besoknya do it? So that’s –that’s- what I belief. If you want to be empowered, you
mau kayak gimna? Gitu lo. Jadi yang, yang tak percaya gitu. Kalau must read. And by reading I mean not to simply being able to read. I
mau berdaya itu harus bisa baca. Dan baca tu kan nggak yang hanya mean, being literate means you are able to read, write, and can also do
sekedar baca ya. Maksudnya literate tu kan bisa baca, bisa nulis, bisa mathematics. But if you are not functioning well, it all will be just in vain.
matematika. Tapi kalau nggak berfungsi ya sama aja. Bisa baca tapi You can read, but can’t comprehend what you read. Well, that’s such a
nggak ngerti hasil bacaannya mau diapakin gitu lo. Ya kan, podo wae. waste. And so, what I mean is, when we have already read very
Na maksudku tu kalau seumpama kita sudah sering baca didiskusikan frequently and also use to discuss it inside the class, about the input you
di dalam kelas itu sudah terbiasa apa, input mu tu apa, input orang gain and what others gain, and compile them as one. So, having
lain apa, input dia apa, dijadikin satu. Trus habis itu diobrolin. Gitu lo. discussion after that. It’s not like zero meets zero [referring to two
Nggak yang kosong-kosong [referring to two individuals respectively] individuals respectively] and talk; what can you discuss? It’s like that. Or
ngobrol; ha trus ngobrol opo? Gitu. Atau baca –baca- tapi nggak read –read- but never talk. What for if it is just being kept inside your
ditemuin. Kan sama aja di kepala terus gitu lo. Nah, maksudku tu head? So, by giving them reading I mean to create such environment.
pinginnya tu seperti itu. Gitu lo, ms. Nah, trus si grammar iki, posisi That’s what I mean, ms. And, so this grammar thing –the position of the
grammar tu hanya sisipan. Maksudku tu begitu. Cuma jadi sulit grammar- is simply parts being inserted. That’s actually what I intended
karena harus di-assess, ya kan. Harus di-report-kan. nah, iyu aku yang to. But it becomes difficult for it needs to be assessed. It must be
nggak suka. Tapi kan aku nggak bisa enggak gitu lo. Nah, aku masih – reported. That’s what I don’t like. But it is unavoidable. I still have to win
masih menangin- egoku; bahwa aku nggak suka sama grammar gitu my ego; that I still don’t like grammar. [Giggling] that’s how it is.
lo. [giggling] gitu…
Q2.i Dila So you admit ya, that that’s part of your ego. So you do admit that that’s part of your ego!
Uke Iya, iya … [while nodding repeatedly] Yes, yes… [while nodding repeatedly]
Q2.ii Dila Trus, tadi kamu bilang reading tu gampang, gampang dalam arti ya And so, you were saying that reading was easy, easy in terms of the
aksesnya gampang, dan mungkin skill yang cuma gampang kalau accessibility, and probably easy when it simply for reading. But, you
hanya reading gitu ya. Tapi kan you know that most students or know most students or most Indonesians see reading not as something
kebanyakan orang di Indonesia itu kan melihat reading itu bukan fun. So, probably it’s just the same with grammar which for some
sebagai sesuatu yang fun gitu. Jadi, mungkin sama saja grammar bagi people it is not fun; and reading is also not fun. But you insist of using
sebagian orang not fun, kemudian reading juga not fun gitu. Tapi you that.
insist of using that.
Uke Karena menurutku mereka belum baca yang pas. Gitu kan. Mereka Because I think they haven’t read the one suitable fo them. That’s what
gak tau reading tu fun-nya disebelah mana sih, itu karena mereka I think. They just don’t understand how reading can be fun, that’s
nggak pas mbacanya. Kayak, eemm… yang aku baru temuin –ya because they haven’t read the one that suits their preference. Say for
mungkin sudah beberapa bulan ini ya, ato mungkin sudah setahun example, eemm… the thing I just recently noticed –well, probably these
terakhir gitu- bahwa ternyata reference ku itu adalah membaca last couples of moths or probably this recent year- that my reading
bacaan yang berkaitan dengan anak-anak. Tokoh utamanya anak- reference is that of about kids. The main character is always kids, the
anak, ceritanya tentang anak-anak. Nah, itu aku kan so into it. Gitu. story is also about a kid. And thus, I would become so into it. But, if I am
Tapi kalau aku suruh baca romance dewasa tu aku nggak bakalan asked to read a romance I wouldn’t do it. So, in case when I was just
mau baca. Gitu lo. Nah, seumpamanya waktu awal-awal dan –ehh.. starting to read and –eee, what is it- and I were asked to read those
apa namanya- selalu harus baca yang seperti itu aku tu juga nggak kinds of books, I wouldn’t become this fond of reading; because my
suka, karena yang ada di kepalaku “owh, brarti aku harus baca head would go like ‘owh, so I have to read something I don’t ike’. And
sesuatu yang aku tu nggak suka” gitu lo. Makanya trus baca yang lain so, it makes reading something else become less interesting. Not used
jadi yo males aj. Tidak terbiasa milih sendiri. Gitu lo. Cuman kan kalau to self-prefer reading. I think it is like that. But now, there have been
yang sekarang, wong graded readers yang ada itu tu kan genre nya already many graded readers selection with various genres. So, incase
banyak. Gitu lo. Makanya kalau kamu senengnya romance, la mbok you like romance, why don’t you read graded readers for romance; it’s
kowe moco-o graded readers sing romance kabeh yo sak karepmu. ok if everything you read is all about romance. So it’s that simple. This
Kan gitu kan. Jadi mereka trus terbiasa –terbiasa- untuk jadi mandiri way, they will be more frequent to choose their own reading preference
juga kalau di graded readers. Mandirinya karena mereka bisa milih out of those graded readers. They will become independent for being
sendiri; tahu apa yang diinginkan, gitu kan. Trus tau caranya dapet able to choose their own reading; know what they want. Moreover,
gimana, trus cara milihnya gimana, kayak gitu. Jadi sebenarnya they have already been familiar of finding it themselves, and also how
manfaatnya tu banyak gitu lo ms. Kayak gitu. Jadi kalau aku nggak to select the genre. So actually it has many advantages, ms. That’s how
suka baca, itu brarti aku belum mendapatkan buku yang pas; belum it should be. So if I don’t really like reading, that means you haven’t
mendapatkan ya, belum klik aja gitu! Kayak gitu. found the one suitable for you; not yet discover it, you just haven’t got
the click yet! That’s how it is.
Q2.iii Dila Trus, masih tentang passion mu dalam membaca ya. Kalau dulu And then, still talking about your passion for reading. When you were
sebagai pelajar atau sebagai murid waktu di sekolah kan juga sering student or a pupil at school you must have also been asked to read a lot
kali kita harus baca. Nah, what was your attitude on reading back right? So, what was was your attitude on reading back then?
then?
Uke Eemm…. Aku tu dulu waktu jaman-jamannya SD tu sukanya baca Eemm…. When I was around the age of elementary school student I
Bobo –kayak gitu. Dan kalau ditanya ‘hobi mu apa’ – ‘owh, hobi ku read Bobo –that stuff. And whenever I was asked ‘what is your hobby?’
baca’ tapi aku tu not an avid reader gitu lo. Maksudnya dibandingin – ‘owh, my hobby is reading’ even though I was not an avid reader. I
ama pak Tama gitu, wahhh kalah jauh donk aku. Sampai sekarang mean, when I compare myself to Mr. Tama, wuaaaa I was way behind
gitu. Eee… SMP [pausing, trying to recall her memory] kayaknya aku him. Even until nowadays. Eee… during junior high school [pausing,
tu baca-baca ya Animorphs. Kalau orang-orang bacanya yang –apa- trying to recall her memory] I think I remember reading Animorphs.
Lima Sekawan, aku tu nggak ngerti apa itu Lima Sekawan -tapi aku When everyone else read Lima Sekawan, I don’t even know what it is –
ngerti Animorphs. Animorphs tu aku baca hampir semuanya. Jadi but I know Animorphs. I read almost all series of Animorphs. So back
dulu, ee… temenya kerja bapakku itu punya Taman Bacaan –yang then, ee…, my father’s coworker had a Taman Bacaan –kind of book
disewain itu lo. Nah, bapakku tu sering ngajakin aku kesana dan aku rental. And so, my father often took me there and I also frequently
sering ngajakin bapak ku kesana biar dapet diskon-an [giggling]. asked my father to take me there so I could get a discount [gigling]. His
Namanya pak Wancu, aku masih inget [me confirming; temennya name is Mr. Wancu, I still remember. [Me confirming; your father’s
bapak?] temenya bapakku [nodding]. Trus, ya bapakku tu sering coworker?] My father’s coworker [nodding] so my father went to his
maen kesana trus aku diajak, gitu lo. Trus nanti aku milih-milih buku, place often, and he took me with him. And so I would busyly selecting
yang selalu aku pilih tu ya Animorphs. Ya ternyata dari dulu aku tu books, and the one I always picked is Animorphs. Well, so indeed I have
suka yang kayak gitu-gitu lo- yang berkaitan dengan anak-anak. started enjoying that kind of book since long ago –a book which tells
Animorphs itu critanya orang –apa- sekumpulan anak yang mereka about kids. Animorphs talks about – what is it- a group of kids who have
punya kekuatan untuk berubah menjadi binatang untuk power to transform themselves into animals to help like whatever they
menyelamatkan apalah gitu. Ada yang critanya tentang lalat, lucu want to help. There is one story about a fly, it was so funny beause
banget karena “wah, ternyata aku sekarang bisa melihat. Aduh, ‘wow, I know can see things. Ouch, what should I do?’ you know, a fly
bagaimana ini?” soalnya lalat kan ininya –seginya- banyak ya has so many corners on his eyes right, his eyes are in pentagon shape.
matanya.Trus dia bingung gitu karena lihatnya jadi banyak gitu. Aku And so it got him confuse to see things. I still remember the story. So
masih inget ceritanya. Animorphs tu aku sing baca. Trus, aku sering yeah, I read Animorphs. And I also loved reading comic back then. From
baca komik kalau dulu tu. Dari jaman dahulu kala, aku senengnya long ago, I loved comic. During junior and senior highschool I have
baca komik. SMP, SMA dah mulai nontonin anime. Tapi masih sering sarted watching anime. But also still read often because when I was in
baca karena SMA kan sudah mulai ada Harry Potter. Nah, aku baca highschool Harry Potter was released. And so I read Harry Potter. I knew
Harry Potter. Aku tahu Harry Potter tu pertama dari pak Wancu juga, Harry Potter from Mr. Wancu; but through the movie. When I went to
tapi filmnya. Waktu aku main ke rumahnya. Kan ini di tokonya sama his place. So his book rental is here while his house is here [gesturing
rumahnya [gesturing the distance with her hands] kan beda. Trus aku with her hands]; separated. And I went to his house when they were
main ke rumahnya, pas main ke rumahnya lagi muter Harry Potter. watching Harry Potter. [Me interrupting; when you were at
[me interrupting; SMA?] SMP, eh kayaknya sih aku lupa. Pokoknya highschool?] Junior highschool, eh I don’t really remember. Anyway,
kan lagi muter Harry Potter trus ak gak tahu, trus aku cuman ‘ini apa’ they were watching Harry Potter and I didn’t know what it is, and I asked
gitu lo. Nggak donk. Trus akhirnya habis itu -oh SMP kali ya to myself ‘what movie is it?’ I don’t know it. And later after that –owh,
[answering my previous question]- trus habis itu temenku punya when I was at junior highschool I guess [answering my previous
filmnya Harry Potter yang pertama; yang masih bajakkan tu lo. Tapi question]-one of my friends at school had the first series of the Harry
aku sudah mulai tertarik dengan ‘Sorting hat’. Kan ada yang topinya Potter movie; still the piracy one. At that time I started to find ‘sorting
kalau dipasangin trus “oh kamu masuk mana, kamu mana” itu lo. Nah hat’ interesting. You know, the hat that they put on and it would tell
itu, trus… ‘owh ini Harry Potter’. Trus aku les di ELTI. Les di ELTI you ‘ok, you belong to this dorm or that dorm’. And I went like ‘owh, so
temenku bawa bukunya, bahasa Indonesia. Trus, ‘owh, itu ternyata this is Harry Potter’. And then I also went to ELTI. Had a course at ELTI
buku yang tak tonton kemarin’. Jadi aku wes telat banget to, wong and my friend brought the book, in Bahasa Indonesia. And I said ‘owh,
aku nembe ndelok buku-ne padahal wes ono film-e. Berarti kan ya this is the book from the movie I watched the other time’. So, I’ve been
wes… very late gitu. Tapi waktu aku dipinjemin apa ya? bukunya itu, way behind the trend that I just knew the book while the movie was out
aku lupa. Trus aku tertarik gitu. Trus, yowes habis itu kan lanjut terus already. Well, ya it was very late. At that time, I borrow the book
aku baca semua bukunya Harry Potter. Yang lebih lucu, aku baca pdf. probably, well I don’t really remember. And so I found it interesting. So
Dari HP, seko –opo- komputer laptop. [me cutting; English?] English I continued reading all of the Harry Potter series. The more interesting
[nodding]. Karena itu udah kuliah. Ya, na terus jadi Harry Potter tu part is that I read the pdf version. From my mobile phone, from
yang selalu aku tunngu. Tapi selama itu aku juga bacanya yang computer laptop. [Me cutting; English?] English [nodding] Because I’ve
berseri-seri dan hampir mirip-mirip gitu. Aku yang selalu bawa tu gone to college at that time. Then I was always expecting for Harry
Darren Shan –vampire, anak-anak. Judulnya Darren Shan yang nulis Potter. And during that time I keep reading other series of books similar
juga Darren Shan, gitu. Ya kayak gitu. Ada yang beberapa buku yang to Harry Potter. The book I always had with me is Darren Shan –vampire,
romance-romance yang jaman jek galau-galau ra cetha ngono kae. kid vampire. The title is Darren Shan and the author is also Darren Shan.
Tapi itu kan aku masih menjelajah ya, sukanya yang mana – sukanya That kind of book. There were also romance type of books that I read –
yang mana. Kayak kalau komik kan dulu aku sukanya baca yang ini – you know- during those times of puberty when we were still so
apa sih, yang itu lo ms- [pausing and trying hard to recall the one she unstable. But that was the time when I was still exploring what I really
means] Serial Cantik! Aaaaahhhhh! [clapping and giggling] dulu tu love to read –the one I enjoy reading. When it come to comic books,
aku sukanya baca yang kayak gitu. Jaman SMP-SMA gitu kan, sama what I liked to read was –what is it call ms?- [pausing and trying hard to
temen-temen kan, temen-temenku juga suka baca komik. Trus recall the one she means] Serial Cantik! Ahhhhhhhh! [Clapping and
seneng jepang-jepangan; ohh aku karo konco-koncoku kuliah; itu giggling], back then I loved reading those. When I was at around junior
kami seneng nonton festival. Festival pertama di Jogja tu kami or highschool, with some friends; my friends loved reading them too.
datang. Yang cosplay-an cosplay-an gitu. Tapi emang seneng baca tu, Then I began to love something about Japan; this time with my friends
kuliah sastra trus temenku ada yang seneng baca juga sama seneng from college; we loved to go to festivals. We came to the very first
Harry Potter. Jadi dia influence aku, aku ng-influence dia. ‘ke, ini festival held in Jogja. Things like cosplay or some sorts of like that. I was
sudah ada buku ini.’ Trus aku juga ‘he ini sudah ada buku ini’. Yang – fond of reading that time, and so I took literature major and one of my
yang- aku berhasil nge-influence dia yang keudian –eh gak berhasil friends also liked Harry Potter. And so she influenced me, and I also
ya- yang aku coba nge-influence dia tapi malah jadinya nge-influence influenced her. ‘Ke, there is a new book’ and I would also say things like
suaminya itu adalah baca seri nya Arthemis Fowl. Gitu, itu juga ‘there is also another new book here’. Once I thought I influenced her
bagus. Juga anak-anak. Gak tau, aku sukanya yang anak-anak. Pure but turned out the one that I influenced was her husband, it was the
gitu lo ms nggak kayak yang drama. Dramanya tu tenanan gitu lo Artemis Fowl series. The book was also great. It is also about kids. I don’t
nggak kayak drama digawe-gawe ngono kae lo. Kayak gitu. Arthemis know, I like to read story about kids. I think because it’s pure unlike
Fowl yang Agustus ini akan ditayangkan. Ohh, tapi aku kecewa lihat drama. The story in the book is so real, unlike the story in dramas which
orangnya [laughing hard]. Bayanganku nggak kayak gitu-e. me are so scripted. It’s Artemis Fowl whose movie is going to be released
confirming; Siapa? artisnya maksudnya.] Iya, udah ada gitu lo. [me this August. But I am disappointed with the cast [laughing hard]. That’s
interrupting; Emang itu yang bikin siapa? Film mana?] Film barat, gak not what I imagined. [Me confirming; who? The cast I mean?] Yes, it
tahu aku siapa yang bikin. Kan ada, ee…. Anime judulnya tu Bleach. has announced the cast. [Me interrupting; which country produced the
Ada karakter yang namanya Hitsuhaya Tosiro. La bayanganku sing movie? Where is it from?] West movie, I don’t really know who
jenengane Arthemis ki koyo ngono kuwi. Jadi anaknya tu yang –kan produced it. So, there is this Anime called Bleach. There is a character
Arthemis itu- dia jenius, 12 tahun. Punya –apa namanya- pengawal named Hitsuhaya Tosiro. In my imagination, the cast should be playing
pribadi. Pengawal pribadinya tu bayanganku ki yo gede, yo pinter Arthemis should have been similar like him. So, the kid in the story –the
bela diri, kalem ngono kae lo. Terus si Arthemis tu tipe-tipe Draco Arthemis- is a genius aged 12 years old. And has –what is it- a personal
Malfoy tu lo. Tapi dia nggak jahat. Itu aja. Tapi dingin, gitu. Trus, body guard. I imagine this body guard to be so big, excel in martial art,
nggak bisa olahraga iso-ne matematika komputer ngono kae lo ms. and quite. And so Arthemis is that of like Draco Malfoy. But he is not
Nahh, ini tu tidak seperti itu-e. Rambut-e klimis piye ngono yo, dadi evil. Just that. Instead he is cold. And he can’t do sport. What he can do
yo nggak sesuai. [me confirming; Tidak sesuai dengan portrayal yang is mathematics. And computer –those kinds of thing. So, this is so far
kamu harapkan dari novelnya?] Ho-oh… [nodding] tapi trus, dulu tu from that. His hair is so neatly waxed, so it is so different. [Me
ya waktu SMA udah ada Harry Potter sampai 5 kalau nggak salah - oh confirming; different from the portrayal you had when reading the
iya- sampe Harry Potter nomer 5 itu aku pinjem; lupa pinjem dimana, novel?] Yes! [nodding] but then, when I was in higshcool, Harry Potter
entah punya temenku atau dimana. Temenku tu juga ada yang suka had come to its 5 sequel –if I am not mistaken- so I borrowed the book
Harry Potter waktu SMA, yang bukunya aku pinjem. Namanaya from my friend or from somewhere else. One of my friend at highschool
Raras; dia punya semuanya; semua aku pinjem dari dia. Itu, padahal also loved Harry Potter, and so I borrowed the book from her. Her name
dulu kayaknya nggak ada larangan membawa buku cerita ya. Tapi is Rara; she had all of the sequels, and I borrowed each of the books
waktu di kelas, itu tu tak masukkin ke laci tu lo. Trus klau gurunya from her. That time, there was actually no regulation that forbid us
datang tak masuk-masukkin gitu [gesturing with her hands]. bringing story book to school. But during clasess, I always put the book
Kayaknya waktu pelajaran aku juga baca [chuckling]. Iya, aku inget inside the drawer. So when teacher came I pushed it deeper inside
kok soalnya sampai sobek bukunya. Dan itu bukan buku ku. Gitu, nah [gesturing with her hands]. I remember I think I was also reading it
brarti memang kayaknya suka dari dulu ya. during the classes. [Cuckling] yes, I remember because I even tore the
book although it was not mine. So, it seems that I have loved reading
since long ago.
Q2.iv Dila Aku tadi juga mau nanya tentang kan kamu dari SMP, SMA, suka baca I was also about to ask you this. So you loved reading since junior
komik novel gitu kan. Kamu beli atau minjem dari orang lain [cutting; highshool up to senior highschool; you love comic and novel right? Did
minjem donkkk] So, kalau 1 minggu gitu kurang lebihnya kamu you buy it or borrow from someone? [cutting; of course borrow from
minjem berapa buku? someone] So, in say one week how many books that you probably
borrow?
Uke Ohh itu itungannya nggak minggu, ms. Itungannya pas aku datang Ohhh. Well we should not count it like that, ms. We should count how
minjem berapa gitu. Kalau Animorphs aku minjem 3-4 gitu. Ya kan many books I borrowed on each of my visit, ms. For Animorphs, I
bukunya kayak yang Lima Sekawan-Lima sekawan itu lo. Katak gitu. borrowed 3-4 books, so the book is like Lima Sekawan type of book. [Ye
[me interrupting; Itu dibaca dalam waktu?] Ahh… gak tau ms. Gak interrupting; and you read them for how long?] Ahh, not really sure. I
inget. Lupa. [me still trying to get the anser; Kurang dari… maksudnya don’t remember. I forget. [Ye still trying to get the anser; less than…. I
frekuensi mendatangi tempat yang rental itu?] Nggak yang njok mean the frequency of you coming to the book rental?] Well, it’s not
terooooss regular gitu ya enggak. Tapi sering, maksudnya sering tu like all the time on a regular basis. But frequrntly; I mean it’s not like
ya nggak trus habis langsung kesana – habis langsung kesana, itu yo once I finished with one I came borrowing another – once finished with
enggak. Karena kan kadang-kadang aku sekarang bisa dibayarin one borrowed another- not like that. Because sometimes when there
Bapakku kan, dibayarin bapakku njileh papat. Sesuk-e ming siji sesuk was my father with me I could borrow four books. But othe time when
meneh ming loro - ngono-ngono kae lo ms. Tapi pas aku kuliah, I could only borrow one, other time two; things like that. When when
karena aku punya uang saku trus habis itu aku kan dapet beasiswa was at college, I was given an allowance and I was also receiving
juga gitu kan, jadi ada sedikit uang yang bisa aku pakai. Itu aku sering scholarship so I can have some money to spend. That time I could
pinjem komik di Taman Bacaan yang lainya. Kalau pinjem 12, kayak borrow comic from other book rental. Once I came, I could borrow 12
gitu. Seminggu selesai. Kayak gitu itu tu ngabisin duit banget itu. books. And finished them in a week. So I spent most of my money on it.
Kayak gitu. Tapi komik bacanya, bukan novel. Karena kalau novel itu I did that. But what I read was comic, not novel. Because novel took a
tu suwi ngono kae lo. Maksud-e pinjem 3 hari; la nek aku moco longer time to finish. I mean, when I borrowed for 3 days and I could
limang dino aku kena denda. Dan aku sering sekali kena denda. read it for five days they would give a lateness fine. And I had indeed
Sering banget! [emphasizing with heavy tone] jadi, aku tu ke toko often fined for lateness. So often! [emphasizing with heavy tone] so, I
buku bacaan itu tu tempat temennya bapakku, trus yang deket went to this rental book –my father’s coworkers] and also the one near
rumahku tu ada. Itu tu aku minjem buku-buku [pausing to recall my house. So I borrowed these books [pausing to recall something] I
something] kayaknya komik juga, komiknya Naruto trus komik apa think they were also comics, Naruto and other comics I forget. There is
aku lupa. Deket rumahku ada, trus yang kalau yang kalau pinjem one near my house, and there was also this place where I always
selalu banyak-banyak itu tu di deket Samsat. Trus, di deket kampusku borrowed more books from; near Samsat. And there was another one
dulu juga ada ms, deket Sadhar itu. Dulu aku ama temenku kalau near my campus, near Sadhar. I with my friends always borrowd many
pinjem disitu juga banyak banget, dan itu tu sampai nunggu gitu lo. books from this place, even sometimes we needed to wait. And we had
Terus rebutan. Oh iya ya, aku dulu juga sukanya kayak gitu ya to rush over others. Ow well, it reminds me. I used to do things like that.
ternyata. Malah jadi inget-e [laughing hard]. Malah nostalgia. Ho oh, It rings me a bell now [laughing hard] what a nostalgic memory. Yes-yes,
brarti unag habis itu buat minjem komik. Owh, kalau yang waktu so I ran out of money from borrowing comics. Owh, when I was at
kuliah tu aku bacanya Shonen, yang bukunya tebel-tebel itu loh, college I read Shonen, the books were so thick. But Shonen is also comic
kayak gitu. Tapi Shonen kan komik jadi bacanya cepet gitu lo ms. Trus so it didn’t take long to finish it. And I would exchange titles with my
habis itu tuker-tuker-an ama temenku. Maksudnya tuker-tukeran friend ‘this one is good’ simply gave the title and we should borrow
bukan tuker-tukeran buku tapi tuker-tukeran judul ‘eh sing iki apik’ them ourselves. And then in Gramed, instead of buying comic I would
ngono kui thok, yo njilio dewe. Gitu. Trus di Gramed, daripada beli find the one whose seal has been broken. I would read it quickly. Now
kan dibuka boleh yak an. Buka trus baca disitu cepet-cepet. Gitu ms. that I have my own money, I sometimes go to bookstore and went out
Trus, ha sekarang udah punya uang sendiri trus kadang-kadang kalau of control. When I buy books I could spend six hundrend thousand, one
ke toko buku kalap ya kan. aku tu kalau beli buku habis enam ratus hundred or four hundred something, ms.
ribu, seratus, empat ratus gitu ms.
Q2.v Dila Jadi waktu masih belum bisa punya duit sendiri gitu masih minjem. So, when you still didn’t have your own money you were borrowing
Mulai punya uang sendiri itu sudah mulai beli. Kalau sampai sekarang books. But when you have had your own you started to buy boks. Until
mungkin kurang lebih koleksi bukumu berapa banyak? now, how money bookd have you collected?
Uke Wah, ha nggak tau nggak pernah ngitunge. [me interrupting; Wah, I don’t know. Never really count it. [Me interrupting; do you keep
Disimpen nggak sih?] Iya, ya disimpen. Beberapa udah, yang dulu- them save?] Well ya, I do. Some have been –I gave some to people- just
dulu udah di kasih in, ya kayak –apa- donasi buku gitu ya buku-buku like when there is book donation I gave my books; I gave some to
ku tak masukkin tak kasihin orang. people.
Q2.vi Dila Kenapa di donasi? Kan kamu suka bacanya? Why you donate your book? Don’t you love reading books?
uke Ya kan aku wes moco [laughing]. Well, I had read them all [laughing].
Q2.vii Dila Kalu sekali baca nggak tertarik baca ulang lagi? When you have read the book once, you don’t want to repeat reading
it?
Uke Enggak e… kayaknya hampir nggak ada buku yang kubaca ulang. [me No. I don’t think there is a book that have read for the second time. [Me
confirming; Oiya? Nggak ada satupun? Harry Potter pun termasuk?] confirming; owh ya? Not even one? Not even Harry Potter?]. Unless
Kecuali baca, Cuma chapter-chapter yang mana. Random gitu lo. when I read only some parts or chapters. You know, when I read just
Padahal, oh iya buku yang kubaca ulang tapi karena aku belum randomly. Infact –owh ya- there is a book that read again because I had
selesai ya. Ni sekarang lagi tak baca lagi tu, buku sejarah. Jadi, aku not finished reading it before. Now I am reading it again, it’s a history
udah baca sampai separo, habis itu aku sudah lama banget –moconi book. So I read it once up to half of it, after that I stopped reading it for
sing lia-liane ngono kae lo ms- trus habis itu sekarang tak ulangi lagi a long time –reading something else- and then I read the book again
bacanya dari awal. Dan ternyata waktu aku baca ulang tu ‘wah, from the beginning. And when I read t the cesond time I noticed ‘I see,
ternyata yang dulu dimaksud tu ini ya?’ dan ini tu aku baca yang ke- what it really meant by that is this’ and actually this is already the third
tiga. Kayak, buku itu nggak pernah selesai aku baca. Jadi aku baca time I’m reading the book. It’s like, I never finish reading the book. So I
baru sepertiga –break gitu kan- trus habis itu, aku sempet waktu read just one third of it –taking abreak- and you know when I am
latihan itu Senpai ku to ternyata pinter sejarah. Trus cerita-cerita- practicing [referring to Aikido], I noticed that my Senpai is good at
cerita gitu kan, trus buku ini tak baca ulang “loh, ini yang diceritain history. And he told me similar stories like in the book, and so I read the
Senpai kemarin” kayak gitu kan. Trus aku jadi tambah paham. Sampai book again; and notice ‘owh, this is what Senpai told me last time’
setengah –aku jeda lagi- trus sekarang lagi baca lagi, trus habis iu things like that. And so I understand it better. When I read until the half
‘owh, ini ya. Ternyata seperti ini – ternyata seperti ini.” Kayak gitu lo of it –I take another break- and now I’m reading it again, and now I
ms, jadi lebih faham. Cuman, aku tu bukan –bukan- orang yang realize ‘owh so it’s like this, and it’s like that’. That’s how it is, ms. So I
memorinya bagus. Jadi aku baca, waktu baca itu tu aku merasa can understand it better now. But it’s very unfortunatethat I am not –
enriched gitu lo ‘owh, ternyata begini. Ternyata hal-hal seperti itu tu not- a person with good memory. So I read and when I am reading I’m
bisa terjadi karena seperti ini. Ternyata dari dulu tu masalah seperti feeling enriched ‘owh, now I understand. Things can happen because of
ini tu sudah ada to, ya apalan-apalah gitu.” Begitu aku selesai baca this and that. This kind of issue had occurred since long ago; or anything
ya udah, ilang [giggling]. Cuma pas aku baca tu aku sukanya kayak else’. But, when I finished reading, that’s it; it’s just gone [giggling]. But
gitu ms, I feel so enriched. Mau baca novel lah, ini kan non-fiksi ya, when I am reading –that’s what I love about it- I feel so enriched.
sejarah islam gitu. Waktu baca tu “owh, ternyata dulu tu seperti ini Whether I read novel, non-fiction, the history of Islam, or else. When I
to” jadi informed gitu, begitu selesai baca udah selesai. Aku kalau was reading it I went on like ‘owh, this happened even long ago’ so I
suruh ngomongin lagi aku harus buka lagi, gitu. Nggak bisa become well-informed; but when I finished it I forget it. I need to reopen
mengingat dengan baik. Sayang banget. Soalnya ternyata yang tak the book to be able to tell you what it is about. I can’t remember it
baca tu udah banyak, cuman aku nggak yang –nggak yang- bisa clearly. So unfortunate. Moreover, it turns out that I have read quite a
mengingat semuanya gitu lo. Kayak baca-baca jurnal kayak gitu ya, lot, but I can’t –I can’t- remember everything. Say for example when
tu kan aku kadang-kadang dapat yang so insightful; keren banget. reading journals, sometime I found one that is so insightful; so cool. I’ve
Wes, tak highlight lah, tak tulis-in dipinggir-pingirnya lah tapi bar highlighted it, I have made note on each sides of the book, but I will
kuwi yo lali ki aku. Nyebelin ya. Padahal yang penting tu adalah forget it again. That’s so suck. Actually what matter most is connecting
connecting the dots tu lo. Ya kan, aku baca disini ‘ini’ aku baca disini the dots, right? So I read it here ‘like this’ and I read it there ‘like that’
‘ini’ [gesturing with her left and right hands alternatively] jadiin satu. [gesturing with her left and right hands alternatively] put them
Nah, harusnya kalu dulu aku pernah nyoba –cuman berhenti sih. Jadi together. I have tried actually, but I stopped. So, I read –the book that I
aku baca, buku yang tak pinjem ke kamu yang kamu pinjem dari SAC. borrowed from you the one that you borrowed from SAC. Do you still
Inget nggak buku yang tentang reading tu lo, asessing reading apalah remember that book about reading, assessing reading or something like
aku lupa. Nah, itu tu waktu aku baca aku tu nulis ms. Nulis, trus habis that; I don’t really remember. So, when reading that book, I was writing
itu aku baca lagi yang lainya, nulis ini sama kayak kemarin; trus aku some notes ms. I wrote something, and then when I read other books I
ki wes isoh nggawe ureg-ureg ane. Cuman setelah it utu ke-jeda. made another note and notice that it similar to the previous note; and
Mungkin harusnya nggak ada jedanya. Jadi harus baca regularly gitu I started to jot down everything together. So probably I need to
kali ya. regularly read.
Q2.viii Dila Jeda tu maksudnya? What do you mean by taking a break?
Uke Habis ya… kejeda, [cutting; vaccum baca?] vacuum baca buku itu After well…. have a pause [me cutting; take a reading vacuum?] not
gitu. [me confirming; Vacuum baca buku itu means ada buku lain reading the same book I mean. [Me confirming; meaning that there is
yang kamu …] [cutting] ada buku lain dan nggak related atau bener- another book you are …. ] There is another bok which is unrelated to
bener berhenti karena aku ngerjain yang lainya. Sakjane ki eman- the previouse book or literally stopped because I’m doing something
eman karena waktu aku membaca ulang catetanku ‘weh, ternyata ki else. I realize that it is such a waste because when I am rereading my
aku udah pernah baca yang ini’ gitu lo. Suka kayak gitu lo aku tu, notes I talk to my self ‘what? I actually have read about this before’. I
sering sekali. Ternyata tu ada ya, ah aku ki gek wes nulis-e, sing nulis often feel that way, so often. Many times I fel like ‘I have made notes, I
yo aku dewe ngono lo. Trus kadang-kadang aku suka bikin wrote them myself. And sometimes I also made conclusion out of it –I
kesimpulan. Waktu aku baca bikin kesimpulan –baca- aku inget apa read- whenever I remember something when reading I jot it down. I
trus tak tulis gitu lo. Wah aku tu udah pernah sampai disini gitu lo, have come to this far, but then I stopped doing that for some reasons.
trus wah kok yo aku ki tidak kuteruskan atau apalah gitu.
Q2.ix DIla Proses peralihanya tadi tu gimana? Maksudnya dari tadi kan you How is the transition process? I mean you were talking about your
were talking about your hobby of reading; karena menyenangkan. hobby of reading; because it’s fun. But then there are some reading
Tapi kemudian ada beberapa pilihan bacaan yang memang sengaja selections that you intentionally read to find out something instead of
kamu baca untuk cari tau sesuatu bukan karena ‘owh, aku suka baca because ‘owh, I like reading, I like the topic’.
atau aku suka topik ini’ gitu.
Uke Kalau yang kayak gitu, dulu-dulu tu, apa ya… [pausing] kalau yang cari Well, it was – used to- I mean … [pausing] when I read for finding some
info tu, kalau yang sekarang kan karena aku harus kan. Maksudnya, information, that’s because I have to. I mean, I need it. Especially when
butuh gitu. Terutama waktu S2 itu kan nggo nggarap tugas ngono lo I was taking my S2 I need to finish my assignment, right? And also for
paling orak. Trus habis itu di pekerjaan. Karena, paling nggak aku work. Because, at the very least, I need to find out what people say
mencari; orang tu ngomong apa tentang metode seperti ini. Atau aku about certain method. Or when I want to know how to teach grammar
mau ngajarin grammar yang fun yang kayak apa ya? Jadi di tu in a fun way. So for the sake of finding information. It’s like that, so not
mencari informasi kan. Kayak gitu, jadi bukan –bukan- non fiksi lagi, –not- only non-fiction.
kayak gitu.
Q2.X Dila Ada nggak rasa dimana saat kamu males membaca? [confirming; Is there a time when you feel like you don’t want to read? [Confirming;
Maksude piye?] ya kan, ada mungkin saat dimana kamu ‘ih kok aku what do you mean?] Well, the times when you feel like ‘ahh, I am not
lagi gak pingin baca ya’ gitu? in the mood to read now’ kind of things.
Uke Enggak-i! [cutting firmly without hesitation], [me again confirming; No! [Cutting firmly without hesitation [me again confirming, never?]
never?] [rolling her eyes up and thinks] males baca… baca LC tu aku [Rolling her eyes up and thinks] not in the mood to read… well, I always
males [giggling], baca koreksian [me interrupting; itu kerjaan ya?], itu feel discouraged to read LC [giggling], to read students’ assignment [me
tu males. [me; jadi meskipun … ] mungkin bukan bener-bener yang interrupting; those are all for work, aren’t they?] that I am discouraged.
aku butuhkan gitu ya. Itu males ms, karena kan baca journal kan [me [Me probing; so eventhough ….] Probably not the one that I really need.
confirming; work-related gitu ya]. Baca jurnal tu sebenernya ak That’s when I feel discouraged. Because when I read journal [me
nggak males [me confirming; nggak males?] enggak, cuman nggak confirming; work related?]. I reading journal never discouraged me, it
nemu waktunya. Cuma kalau aku tu, kalau baca jurnal tu ya yang just that I don’t have time. [Me confirming; you don’t feel discouraged?]
duduk baca, gitu lo. Trus bawa bolpen; butuh yang seperti itu, gitu. Yes, I just don’t have enough time. Because whenever I read journal, I
Jarang aku bisa seperti itu. Atau ya mungkin karena non-fiksi lebih have to –like- really sit down and read. And bring my ballpoint with me;
menarik, kayak gitu lo. [giggling] jadi ak lebih banyak ke non-fiksi nya. I need to set the situation that way. It’s a very rare that I can have time
Kayak gitu. Aku tidak keberatan membaca jurnal; nggak males juga. for that. Or, well probably because non-fiction is more interesting
Cuman aku tidak membacanya gitu -bukan karena aku males- karena [giggling]. So I tend to read more non-fiction. I don’t mind reading
ada hal yang lebih menarik lainya seperti non-fiksi. Dan nggak yang journals; and don’t feel discouraged either. But I don’t read it often –
kamu harus menghasilkan sesuatu dari sini; jadi –apa ya- urge nya tu not because I because I feel discouraged but because there is a more
nggak gede gitu lo ms. Wong aku kadang-kadang tu kalau lagi interesting one such as non-fiction. And the one that you don’t really
sosmed-an tu lo, itu tu hanya karena aku gemes megang HP tapi aku have to produce something out of it. So –how we should say it- the urge
tu pengen megang HP cuman aku tu nggak ngerti mo ngapain gitu lo to read is not that big, ms. At times, when I’m on my social media, I
ms. Nggak tau ya, kamu pernah ngrasain nggak? Jadi aku tu males actually do that just because I have my mobile phone on my hand but I
sosmed-an tu -aku males- gitu lo, tapi aku tu pengen megang HP don’t have anything I can do with it. I can’t tell for certain, have you ever
pengen do something with my mobile phone gitu kan, dan I want to felt the same thing? So I never really into social media –I don’t really
read something on it tapi nggak ada yang kubaca. Aku nggak suka enjoy it- but I want to check on my mobile phone, I want to do
baca jurnal dari HP -tu aku nggak suka. Terlalu kecil, gak bisa tak orek- something with it, and I want to read something on it but I dont have
orek. Gitu. Kalau dulu, aku punya yang serinya Senopati Pamungkas; anything to read. I don’t like reading journal from my mobile phone –
dua buku kan kuandelle ra elok ngono kae, jadi sampai berapa ribu never like it. It’s too small, and I can’t write something on it. Back then
halaman gitu kan. jadi aku seneng banget itu, tak baca dari HP ms. I had this series of Senopati Pamungkas; those two books are so
Jadi -aku ngapain aja ya- setelah slesai ‘jleg’ gitu buka HP baca. Gitu. unusually thick so that they have thousands of pages. I really loved
Jadi nggak sosmed-an. Gitu lo. Sekarang aku nggak punya, nggak those books; I read them from my mobile phone, ms. So whatever I was
punya yang buku cerita yang cukup bagus untuk kumasukkan ke HP. doing, when I have done with it I would directly read it from my mobile
Gitu. phone. So, I was not doing anything in my social media. Now I don’t
have it –I don’t have a book with interesting story- that I can save in my
mobile phone.
Q2.xi Dila Tapi, tapi kan kmu termasuk orang yang aktif –ya, tidak terlalu heboh But you are one of those who are quite active –well, not really crazy
aktif gitu ya- tapi kan aktif dalam segi sosmed. Kadang kamu baca, about it- but you are pretty active in social media. You are reading
kamu post sesuatu di situ juga. Gitu kan? something and so you post something. Aren’t you?
Uke Iya, tapi nggak yang –apa ya-, aku ki sosmed-an karena orang idle Yes, but it’s not like –how to say it- well I am on social media because I
nggak punya kerjaan apa-apa gitu lo. Padahal kan ada kerjaan ya, am being idle and have nothing else to do. Actually I do have some
cuman ya gitu lah. Sakjane ki bosen ngono lo ms. Jadi kalau aku post works, but you know I was just get bored sometimes, ms. So, whenever
something gitu, sesuatu yang sudah kupikirkan. Biasanya seperti itu, I post something, that must have been thing that I have thought about
gitu. Sekarang aku lagi males dan sudah sering kok itu –sudah lama. before. It usually is like that. Now I’m not really into it and it’been quite
Aku tu pegang HP gitu tu –cuman- aku tu pengen baca sesuatu tapi sometime. I have my mobile phone with me only because –simply
aku nggak –nggak ini- nggak ada yang tak baca. Makanya sekarang becaue- I want to read soething but I don’t have something to read.
peralihanku adalah ke Webtoon. Gitu. Tapi kan Webtoon itu update- That’s why now I’ve been trying to read Webtoon. But –you see-
nya kan ya nggak setiap hari to. Jadi kan aku gemes aj gitu ‘wo, laini Webtoon is not updated daily. So I got a bit annoyed ‘none of the comics
ra ono sing update kabeh’ ngono kui lo. Jadi kan trus aku nunggu have been updated today’ so I have to wait for another two weeks to
sampai dua minggu kayak gitu. Jadi sewaktu sekali duduk gitu udah read. So once I sit, I would stay still doing nothing but read. Read the
diem aja; baca. Baca komik [laughing]. Gitu. La sekarang ada comics [laughing]. Now there are several books –well everyday I indeed
beberapa buku –kalau aku memang setiap hari selalu bawa buku ya. bring books with me. So whenever I get bored I will read; get bored then
Jadi kalau seumpama jeleh apa -baca gitu; jeleh baca gitu. read.
Q2.xii Dila Satu buku? At least One book? At least?
Uke Ya, satu atau dua. Ya karena, tergantung yang mana… [unfinished]. Yeah, one or two. Well because, it depends on … [unfinished]. So I bring
Jadi aku bawa nya satu fiksi satu non-fiksi gitu. Kalau yang ini yang one fiction and one non-fiction. Today what I bring is the fiction because
tak bawa yang fiksi karena yang non-fiksi ada di rumah tak pake buat the non-fiction one is left at home. I read it before bed.
temen tidur.
Q2.xiii Dila Sebelum tidur baca? Baca buku? Do you read before sleeping? Read a book?
Uke Kadang-kadang. Nggak setiap hari. Yo, kalau pengen aj. Kalau dua Sometimes. Not everyday though. Whenever I want to. These last
hari terakhir, aku tidur dengan nonton anime. Sebelumnya dengan couple days, I sleep after watching Anime. Days before after reading
baca buku, gitu; sebelumnya dengan nonton anime, gitu. Sak book, like that; the other time I watched Anime. So whichever I feel like
senengku lah. to do.
Q2.xiv Dila Kamu menganggar-kan budget khusus nggak untuk beli buku? Do you have special budget for buying books? [Interrupting; no] so you
[interrupting; enggak], jadi kamu beli buku saat kamu kepengen beli buy books only when you want to?
buku?
uke Saat aku nggak sengaja. [giggling] Jadi kayak yang terakhir itu; aku It mostly accidintal [giggling]. So, just like the last time; last time I
terakhir beli itu kan empat buku. Aku ke Periplus ngapain ya? [talking bought four books. So I went to Periplus for something, what is it
to herself]. Sebenarnya, cuman untuk cari buku atau apa gitu. Atau [talking to herself]. Actually, I just wanted to find a book or something
mungkin sebenernya aku hanya pingin ke Mall tapi sekarang kalau ke else. Or sometimes only because I happen to go to Malioboro mall and
mall Malioboro tu harus lewat dari bawah, kan, begitu naik lo I have to pass through the basement, right? And on the way up, I have
Periplus. Lantai dasar parkiran itu. Mau nggak mau kalau naik kan to go pass through it. So, whether I want it or not, I then go inside and
lewat Periplus ya. Ya mau nggak mau tu trus lihat apa yang didalem, take a look. But last time, it was because there was happen to be a big
kayak gitu lo ms. La tapi trus yang kemarin itu karena pas ada sale. So I bought four books for only two hundred thousand rupiahs.
diskonan gede. Jadi empat buku cuma habis Dua Ratus Ribu. Dan itu And turns out, once I realized, all of them are about kids; all of them are
ternyata, begitu aku menyadarinya, semuanya ceritanya anak-anak; about education. [Giggling]. But there is one which I think I won’t
semuanya ceritanya tentang education. [giggling]. Gitu. Tapi ada satu continue reading. Because the words are so harsh and the character is
yang kayaknya nggak mau baca aku. Soalnya harsh kata-katanya dan almost teenagers. So, I don’t really like reading it. But when …
dia sudah menuju teenagers gitu lo. Trus, aku males baca nya. Gitu.
Tapi pas…
Q2.xv Dila [me cutting] kalau pas nemu buku kayak gitu udah terlanjur dibeli – [me cutting] when you happen to buy a book –you no longer borrow it-
ini nggak minjem lagi kan yaudah terlanjur dibeli ternyata pas and you just noticed that you don’t really like it, is there a feeling of
setelah baca kamu nggak suka gitu, ada nggak rasa nyesel ‘ih, kenapa regret? Do you regret it and think like ‘why did I buy this book?’
harus beli buku ini?’
Uke Enggak ik, yo ming ‘halah, bukune jebul ming koyo ngene thok ik’. No! I just think ‘haish, so this is how the story goes’ [me interrupting;
[me interrupting; Nggak ada sayang duitnya gitu?] La, udah kebeli og. you don’t feel bad spending the money for the book?] well, I had bought
Mo gimana lagi. [laughing] gitu. Kemarin -yang ada beberapa- yang it anyway. What else can I do? [Laughing]. So just the other day –there
aku beli buku- halah bukunya baru banget Fiersa Besari kan; aku baca were books that I had recently bought- it was brand new released book
punya Fiersa Besari yang pertama itu bagus. Gitu. Buku romance, gitu Fiersa Besari; I read the first book from Fiersa Besari and it was good.
lah. Tapi, dia sudut pandangnya tu kadang-kadang beda, gitu lo. It’s a romance book. But sometimes he views it from different point of
Terus aku beli yang ke-dua; padahal aku ya udah baca-baca sedikit view. And so I bought the second book; I have actually read some parts
gitu lo waktu beli di Toga Mas waktu itu. Ya trus pas aku baca di when I had it checked at Toga Mas. When I read it at home it was not
rumah kok nggak se-asik yang pertama gitu lo. Apa ya, picisan sekali as fun as the first one. How to call it, it’s too cheesy. I mean, it’s so
gitu lo. Maksudnya nggak, nggak kayak yang pertama. Ya udahlah, different from the first one. So well, I just read two chapters and then
aku baru baca dua chapter apa ya trus tak kasihin BEM. Gitu. gave it to Student Board (BEM).
Q2.xvi Dila Oh gitu, kamu juga suka nyumbangin buku ya? So you do like to donate your book, I guess.
Uke Ya baru itu sih. Maksudku, ya sebelum-sebelumnya sudah pernah. Well, just that once. I mean, I had also donated books before. But
Tapi kalau yang bener-bener itu tu jan gres anyar ms. Bener-bener particularly this time, the book is still so brand new, ms. It was not even
rung ono seminggu. La pas wes, kan begitu sampai dirumah itu buku a week after I bought the book. So, once I got home that was the first
pertama yang kubaca. ‘argghh, opo ki?’ mungkin belakang-belakang- book I read. ‘Augghhh, what kind of book is this?’ probably toward the
nya ada yang bagus, tapi aku sudah nggak tertarik dari dua chapter end it will get better, but I had lost my interest since the first two
awal gitu lo. Gitu! lagu-lagunya juga nggak sebagus yang sebelumnya chapters. That’s how I felt. The songs are not as good as the previous
[me cutting; lagu?] he em, buku lagu. Jadi setiap chapter tu ada –ada- ones either. [Me cutting; songs?] Yes, a book of songs. So in each of the
lagu-lagunya sendiri gitu lo. Trus, ahh lagunya juga nggak sebagus chapter there is –it has- a song respectively. And then, the songs are not
yang pertama; kayak gitu. Trus, ya sudah kasihin aja. Ke BEM. Mereka as good as the previous ones either. And so, I gave it to Student Board
juga lagi mau ada program membaca itu kan, jadi ya –ya- itung-itung (BEM). It just happened that they were having a reading program that
support lah. time, and so I just take it as a form of support.
Q2.xvii dila Thinking of which, dulu kamu juga pernah ngasih buku yang sekardus Thinking of which, you also once gave a box full of books to –eh, who is
buanyak banget itu buat –eh, siapa- anaknya bu Marga? [responding she, Ms. Mrga’s daughter? [Responding quickly; owh, Ara!] For, for her
quickly; oh, Ara] buat, buat [cutting while smilling; itu nggak ku … [cutting while smilling; I didn’t give the books, I just entrusted them]
kasihkan, itu ku titipkan] tapi kan masih disana? [oh, iya] you have no but they were still there until now, right? [Well, yes] you have no
intention of taking it back? intention of taking it back?
uke Ya, mungkin baca kalau besok aku punya anak ya. Yang aku nggak Well, probably later when I already have kid of my own. Which I don’t
ngerti ya. [me joking; habis lebaran ya?.] habis lebaran, tahun kapan know when [me joking; after the holiday right?] yes, after the holiday,
nggak tahu [giggling] Kalau itu karena aku sudah beli, dan itu mahal don’t know what year [giggling] I had bought the books, and they were
banget to ms. Dua juta man. [me interrupting; at that time ya?] at actually so expensive, ms. It’s two million can you belief that? [Me
that time [nodding]. Dua kali! [me confirming; dua juta dua kali?] dua interrupting; the price at that time you bought it?] At that time
kali, ha yang satu box masih dirumahku tu. Tau nggak sekarang buat [nodding] times two! [Me confirming; two million times two?] Times
apa? Buat tendehan buku-buku liyaane [laughing, feeling ridiculous]. two, the other box is still at my house. Do you know what do I use it for
Jadi ini tu si box itu [gesturing with her hands] yang isinya kayak bata now? As a shelf for my other books [laughing, feeling ridiculous]. So,
–karena berat banget gitu- trus ad arak diatasnya. Dan buku this is the box [gesturing with her hands] whose books inside felt as if
tumpukan. rocks –because they are so heavy- and then there is a shelf above it.
And piles of books.
Q2.xviii Dila Itu masih rahasia nggak itu? Kan dulu kan kamu beli dan sengaja Is it still a secret? When you bought it you intentionally kept it here so
kamu taruh sini biar nggak ketahuan orangtuamu? that your parent won’t notice it, right?
Uke Ha wong udah ada tulisanya ‘Halo Balita 1 sampai 11’ [both giggling. Well, the box has ‘Halo Balita 1 to 11’ written on it [both giggling. Me;
Me; and then?] ya udah, kan karena belum ada yang buka ms. Jadi and then?] No one has ever opened it, ms. I haven’t even opened it
aku juga belum membukanya [me; oh iya?] iya, I don’t know what’s myself. [Me; owh ya?] Yes, I don’t know what’s inside. [Me interrupting;
inside. Gitu. [me interrupting; Lagian kenapa sih, futuristic banget. I I was actually wondering why you were so futuristic. I mean I know that
mean I know that you love reading, gitu ya] iya, aku tu juga heran you love reading] yes, I am wondering my self, why did I buy them? Why
ngapain coba? Ngapain coba aku beli buku yang mahal itu? Aku juga did I buy such expensive books? I don’t even read them [both giggling,
nggak baca [both giggling. Me; gebleg]. Tapi kalau yang Ara ini tu me; stupid]. But for Ara’s case, it’s ok to me. Because that time, I was
nggak papa. Karena kan kalau waktu itu, aku seng mikir ngene ms; thinking like this; I wouldn’t use it right now, and I won’t read the book
aku sekarang juga belum pakai nih, dan aku juga belum baca lo itu either. I just read [pausing; trying to recall one] the big one and infact I
bukunya. Aku baru baca [pausing; trying to recall the one] yang besar borrowed it from Ara and I don’t even know where the book is now. It’s
dan aku pinjem ke Ara dan entah sekarang buku itu tu ada dimana. actually a good book. [Me cutting; what do you mean you don’t know
Padahal bagus tu buku ceritanya [me cutting; kok entah ada dimana? whre the book is? Isn’t it in … ] so, it was –what is it- It was during my
Kan bukanya di …] kan waktu itu, aku –apa namanya- eh, ada service community; and so I used the book and forgot where I put it in.
pengabdian yang kemarin ceritanya based-on that book; nah, buku [me commenting; such a waste] yes, I frequently do such thing. And
itu tu kupakai trus aku lupa ada dimana buku-nya. [me commenting; then, I didn’t read the other books but I was thinking this way; because
sayang sekali] iya, aku emang sering banget kayak gitu. Trus habis itu, many other people can read those books, children can read those
kalau yang lainya aku nggak baca cuman aku mikirnya gini; Karena books; and those books are indeed good books. If children read those
mungkin itu bisa dibaca arang lain, dibaca anak-anak; dan itu tu buku books and they get something out of it –well, I mean they are just this
bagus. Kalau seumpamanya anak-anak baca dan mendapatkan small- and they are influenced by the good things in the books, that
sesuatu –yo maksude ki sing ijeh cak cilik-cilik ngono kae lo- terus would make me so happy. That’s how I feel. And Ara wants to have
mereka ter-influence dengan hal yang bagus kan yo aku happy-happy Taman Bacaan, so just use the books.
aja gitu, makanya. Dan Ara pengen punya Taman Bacaan, ya pakai
aja gitu.
Q2.xix Dila Tentang yang -tentang yang- pengabdian itu tadi. Pernah nggak About –the- your community service you were talking about. Have you
kamu ada implementasi reading juga? Di program untuk ever implemented reading? In your community service program?
pengabdianmu itu?
Uke Lah, itu reading kok! Story telling –story telling. Pengabdianku tu juga That one was reading! Story telling –story telling. My community service
berkaitan dengan reading. Yang besok juga –kalau yang besok- malah is also about reading. The next program –the one after this- is indeed
ER tenanan. Kalau yang kemarin ke anak SD itu kan sambil –sama- full ER. The previous one was for elementary school students so I was
story telling sama pakai art gitu. Jadi –mereka- kami membacakan using story telling and arts. So –they- we read them story and the story
cerita terus itu kan ceritanya tentang bullying. ‘Trus kalau kalian is about bullying. ‘So if you got bullied, what would you do?’ let’s make
dibully terus gimana?’ Ayo kita bikin kartun untuk kasih semangat cartoon and give it to children who got bullied. And then after that they
buat anak-anak yang kena bully. Trus, nanti mereka gambar-gambar would draw pictures. I made it that way. Because the program was for
gitu. Ya gitu gitu. Karena di anak SD. Kalau yang besok di SMA. children. But the next one is for highschool students. So it will really be
Beneran baca; baca Graded Readers. [me confirming;Udah dimulai about reading; read graded readers. [Me confirming; have you started
atau baru direncanakan?] Belum, implementasinya belum. Baru it or is it being planned right now?] Not yet, the implementation is still
Februari. [me gain; Februari ini? Februari besok brarti. SMA mana?] on February. [Me again; Februari? So it’s just the day after. Which
SMA Tirto, ning SMA ku dewe [laughing]. Kan giving back to highschool?] SMA Tirto, my own highschool [laughing] giving back to my
almamater. Gitu. Gitu ms. almamater. That’s how it should be, ms.
Q2.xx Dila Jadi, kalau besok yang di SMA itu pure akan kamu berikan Extensive So, the one that you plan to have at the highschool will be pure kind of
Reading kind of club gitu? Exensive Reading club?
Uke He eh, ER. Mereka akan baca, dapet supervise dari mahasiswa. Jadi Yes, ER. They will read, under my students’ supervision. So, this program
kan ngerjainnya sama mahasiswa. [me cutting; Emm, oke. Balik ke will involve students. [Me cutting; Emm, alright. Let’s get back to your
kelasmu yang tadi ya. So, kan kamu tadi udah ngomongin how much class. So, you had been talking about how much you love reading
you love reading gitu ya [giggling; sawerry –jokingly mispronounced [giggling; sawerry –jokingly mispronounced the word ‘sorry’] [me
the word ‘sorry’] [me continuing; no, no, its okay. And, terus - continuing; no, no, it’s okay. And, so -unfinished] but why am I not
unfinished] tapi kok aku nggak pinter-pinter ya? [me confirming; getting any smarter? [Me confirming; what?] I mean, do you remember
apa?] itu, maksudku yang kemarin. Kamu inget Jordina itu nggak? Jordina? Jordina Austina [me responding; owh, the girl on the video
Jordina Austina [me responding; owh, yang waktu ER gathering during ER gathering?] Yes! She becomes so so cool just because she
itu?]He eh! Kan dia kan keren banget ya karena baca. Kok aku nggak? reads, doesn’t she? Why am not becoming like that? [Me giggling; I
[me giggling; I don’t know. Kenapa emang?] nggak tau, ya pokoknya don’t know. What do you think?] I don’t know, well I just think she is so
dia keren banget aj. Wuuu. TOEFL-nya tu tinggi banget, 600 man. cool. Her TOEFL score is so high, 600 can you believe it. But, maybe
Tapi, bacaanku bahasa Indonesia sih. [me; Kalau kamu kan mungkin because I read books in Bahasa. [Me; when it comes to you, probably
bukan ke akademis ‘ke. Tapi kemudian kan kalau kamu diajak ngobrol it’s not abaout something academics ‘ke. But, when people ask you to
atau apa gitu kan terlihat bahwa wawasanmu emang lebih, lebih it] talk about things you will show a broad insight –you indeed have a
ah, enggak juga. Aku kalau diajak ngobrol juga ‘apa ya?’ gitu. Gak broad insight] I don’t think so. When I talk to people I often go like ‘what
faham aku. is it? I don’t understand’.
Q2.xxi Dila Jadi kamu ngga merasa improve dari membaca? [responding; Aku tu So, you don’t feel that you improved through reading? [Responding; I
hanya merasa happy aja kalau membaca]. Jadi so far, hanya just feel happy whenever I read]. So, so far it is only happines sthat you
kebahagiaan yang kamu dapat dari membaca? [laughing while get from reading? [Laughing while nodding; I don’t feel I’m getting
nodding; trus aku juga nggak jadi tambah pinter. Mungkin ya itu smarter either. Well, probably because I don’t remember things well].
karena aku tidak bisa mengingat dengan baik gitu]. Tapi kan at least But at least, because you love reading at the first place and that you
karena kamu awalnya suka membaca, kamu datang dari background initially love to read, when it comes to academics and you have things
yang memang sudah membaca, saat kamu kemudian di akademis to read not because you want it but rather ones that you must read; at
dan kayak tadi ada beberpa bacaan yang memang harus kamu baca least you will not feel discouraged right? -as you have said so. So,
bukan karena kamu harus gitu kan; at least kamu kan nggak pernah probably –probably- that’s the impact on your case.
merasa males harus baca gitu kan, tadi kan? so, probably –probably-
ya, kesitu.
Uke Eh, sebentar. Maksudnya malas baca ya mungkin iya ya. Ya, kalau itu Eh, wait. Feeling discouraged to read, probably at times. When it is not
berkaitan dengan tugas bukan karepku dewe aku males. Gitu. [me out of my free will such as for finishing particular task, probably yes.
clarifying; tugas kuliah atau tugas kerjaan?] Both! Kalau itu untuk [Me clarifying; task during your study or at works?] Both! When it’s for
diriku sendiri ya, aku happy-happy aj. my own sake I’ll be happily reading.
Q2.xxi Dila ‘untuk dirimu sendiri’ jadi, kan kamu juga baca banyak ya tentang ‘For your own sake’ meaning that when you read some about Extensive
Extensive Reading ini sebelum kamu –e, sebelum dan saat kamu bikin Reading before this –e, before and while you were designing the
silabus untuk yang kelas ini- kan, kamu [cutting; kalau yang untuk syllabus of this class- you [cutting; this semester grammar class?] do you
Grammar ini? Iya] itu kamu anggap sebagai pekerjaan atau untukmu consider it as your job or for your own sake?
sendiri?
Uke Untukku sendiri. For my own sake.
Q2.xxii Dila Emm, jadi kamu mengimplementasikan ER ini untuk dirimu sendiri, Emm, so you implement ER for the grammar class for your own sake not
not for the sake of your department gitu? Can I say that? for the sake of your department? Can I say that?
Uke Karena, karena kan tujuanku itu –nek menurutku ya- tujuanku itu Because, because I do it for –in my opinion- I do it for a good cause. I
tujuan yang baik gitu lo. Aku tidak –aku nggak, eh- this is for my will not –I won’t, eh- for my department, No! This is for the students,
department tu enggak! This is for the students, and I believe this is and I believe this is good. Therefore, well I just do it. And so I went out
good, gitu. Makane yo, yaudah. Makanya tak trabas ngono lo ms. of the guideline. So, they didn’t specifically tell me to teach ‘this’ kind
Jadi, aku nggak yang kamu harus grammar yang ‘gimana-gimana’ of grammar, in fact when I asked I was not given the exact kind of
wong aku nanya aj nggak dijelasin og mo grammar yang kayak apa. grammar I should teach. [Me cutting; to whom?] To, at that time, the
[me cutting; nanya ke?] ke, waktu itu, ke Kaprodi-nya. Jadi, ‘Mo dean. So, ‘Grammar in what kind of way? – ‘well, just grammar’. So I
grammar yang kayak apa?’ - ‘Ya, grammar aj’. La grammar yang kayak was not informed to teach grammar in particular way. ‘What is your
apa, nggak banget. ‘Tujuanmu mau apa?, yang kayak gimana gitu?’ objective? what kind of grammar do you intend to have?’ [As if talking
[as if talking to her dean]. Yo, walaupun mungkin aku dijelasin ‘jadi to her dean]. Although, probably if I was specifically told ‘so, what I want
ya, aku pinginya yang kayak gini –kayak gini!’ aku yo paling ‘waduh you to teach is this –like this!’ I would probably find it ‘woa, it would be
kok sulit ya’ aku juga kan kayak gitu ya. Tapi waktu itu, tak tanyain difficult’. But at that time, I asked them and they couldn’t give an
mereka juga nggak bisa menjelaskan gitu lo ms maunya yang kayak explanation of what kind of grammar they want me to teach. And, that’s
apa. Dan, that’s not what I believe gitu; for, tahapan belajar njuk not what I believe in; for, to give grammar on the early phase of learning
awal-awal grammar. Mereka kan SMA pasti yo dah belajar grammar program. They must have learnt grammar on their highschool. I bet they
mnurutku. Yo, mengalami bosen aj, aku aj bosen gitu lo. Maksudnya, had had enough of it, me myself had also had enough of it. I mean, ‘you
‘kowe bukan cah sastra’ [as if talking to her students]. Nek aku dulu were not literature students’ [as if talking to her students]. In my case,
anak sastra belajar grammar –belajar grammar- yang, halah kudu I was literature student so indeed I learned grammar –learn grammar-
ngerti jenenge lah; yakan -Noun phrase, trus nanti harus yang the kind of grammar which tells us; you know – Noun phrase and we
‘blablabla…’ ah, jenenge sing angel-angel ngono kae. Trus, nanti need to ‘blablabla…’ with all of those difficult terms. And we need to
harus belajar Syntax nya kayak apa, trus termasuk yang mana – learn Syntactically it should be like this, it is included into this –where
termasuk yang mana- ya pokoknya yang sulit-sulit kayak gitu kan! ya does it belong to- well, you know things like that! Because I was English
karena aku cah bahasa Inggris! Ngono lo. Tapi nek cah (mentioning literature student! But for students of The Department (mentioning the
the major of The Department), yo njuk ngopo. For, [pausing] untuk major of The Department), why do they need to learn such thing? For,
bisa berfungsi gitu kan? gitu lo. Ngono ms. Makanya aku yo nrabas- [pausing] to make the language functional right? That’s what I think, ms.
nrabas aja. And that’s why I went out of the guideline.
Q3.0 Dila Jadi kalau dulu –jadi kalu dulu- waktu kamu mempelajari grammar So, when you were –back then- when you learnt grammar at school,
waktu di sekolah, kan tadi waktu kamu kuliah memang kamu bahas you said that you learnt it during your study for you were majoring in
Inggris gitu jdi kamu merasa ya okelah aku belajar kayak gini gitu English literature and so you thought it was fine learning such thing; for
karena aku memang menggeluti bidang ini. Tapi kan kamu belajar you were in the field anyway. But you learnt English at the first time at
bahasa Inggris pertama kali sejak SMP mungkin ya … [unfinished for Junior higshool, right … [unfinished for being interrupted]
being interrupted]
Uke SD kelas 6. SD kelas enam sudah ada dan gurunya nggak berhasil Elementary School, at the sixth year. When I was at the sixth year of
ngajarin kami; nggak ada yang bisa kecuali satu anak. Jenenge Elementary School I had learnt English already and the teacher failed
Syailindra Barata sopoo ngono kui –koncoku. Jadi dekke sing paling teaching us; no one us except this one particular student. His name is
pinter, ms boso Inggris. Kami semua gada yang bisa, termasuk aku yo Syailindra Barata something I forget –my friend. So he was the best of
nggak bisa. SMP kelas 2 aku ikut ELTI. Gitu. Nah, aku mulai improve us all in English. None other him could understand English, including me.
bahasa Inggrisku tu habis ikut ELTI; Itu improve banget. Kayaknya When I was at the second year of Junior higschool I took courses at ELTI.
pertama kali itu tu karena teachernya tu tidak menganggapku ada. And so, my English started to improve; it improved significantly. As I
Trus aku dendam sama teachernya; ‘deloken wae pak!’ terus bijiku remembered, my English improved because the teacher didn’t seem to
apik [laughing]. Gitu. [me interrupting; itu pas SMP tadi?] SMP kelas care for my existence. And so I had a grudge on him; ‘just see it, Sir! And
2. [me continuing; yang nggak menganggap di sekolah?] Enggak, di then my score went up [laughing]. That’s what happen. [Me
tempat les-les an; namanya pak heri –atau siapa gitu- aku lupa. Jadi, interrupting; that was during junior higschool?] The second year of
dia tidak menganggapku ada, trus ‘ok, lihat aja pak. Nilaiku akan junior highschool. [Me continuing; teacher who didn’t seem to care for
bagus’. Gitu. Trus, nilaiku bagus ya, ya walaupun nggak nomer satu your existence is the one at school?] No, at the course; his name is Mr.
dikelas, tapi nilaiku bagus gitu. [me probing; Trus baru dianggep Heri –or something- I kind of forget. So he didn’t seem to see me, and I
ada?] Enggak juga [both giggling]. Karena -ya nggak juga- tapi trus thought to myself ‘ok, you’ll see it Sir. My score will improve.’ Then, my
karena aku kan yo happy to, bijiku apik. Trus ng-efek di sekolah. Dan score did improved. Well, although it was not the best at the class, but
pujian yang masih tak inget sampai sekarang itu waktu dikelas 2 yeah it went up. [Me probing; then, he noticed your existence?] Still no!
habis ikut ELTI satu semester kalau nggak salah [pausing try to recall] [Both giggling]. Because –well he still didn’t notice me- but then I
atau dua semester ya? Kelas dua atau kelas tiga ya aku lupa [talking became happy, my score got better. And then it affected my score at
to herself]. Itu, temenku tu bilang gini ‘kamu tu hafal berapa vocab school too. And one compliment that I still remember vividly until now
sih ke?’ gitu [smilling] dan waktu itu tu konteksnya tu yang aku bisa is when I was at the second year after taking ELTI courses for a semester
menjawab vocab [repeating several more times] gitu ya. Trus dia -if I’m not mistaken [pausing try to recall] or two semesters? In the
bilang gitu; aku masih inget. Itu aku yang wowww, tapi aku ya nggak second or third year I don’t really remember [talking to herself]. So, one
tahu karena emang waktu itu aku nggak ngerti. Tapi setelah aku of my friends asked me ‘how many vocabulary you can memorise ‘ke?’
njawab itu terus aku berapa ya? Trus aku happy gitu. Itu aku nggak things like that [smilling] and at the time, it was after I sucesfully
pernah baca bahasa Inggris. Belum, bacaanku masih komik. Cuman answered the vocabulary qustions [repeating several more times]. And
karena aku les bahasa Iggrisnya di ELTI, ELTI tu kan belajar grammar so she asked me that question; I can still remember that moment. That
juga. Tapi –apa ya- cuman banyak mainnya. Ya kan? aku tu ELTI aja time I went ‘wowwwwww’, but I didn’t know how many words because
nggak berniat daftar og. Tiba-tiba bapakku ngasih formulir yang I didn’t realize it back then. But when I tried to answer her, I tried to
sudah dibayar “nih, besok kamu berangkat ke ELTI” gitu [laughing]. recall how many words and so I became happy. I never read something
Jadinya aku ya bekah-bekuh ngono kae, ms. in English at that time though. Not yet, I still read comic. But since I took
English course at ELTI, and in ELTI I learnt grammar too. But –how to say
it- we often learned by playing. Actually, me myself had vener had any
intention of taking the course at ELTI. Suddently my father brought me
the form which had been paid and said ‘here, tomorrow you should go
to ELTI’ it was like that [laughing]. So, I was a bit reluctant actually, ms.
Q3. i Dila Tapi, saat kamu belajar bahasa Inggris disana kamu merasa fun. But during those times you were learning English there, you were
Makanya kamu bisa improve? having fun. And so you could improve, is that it?
Uke Enggak, nggak juga-i. [me cutting; kamu tadi bilang improve-nya Well, not really. [Me cutting; you previousely said that your English
semenjak les di ELTI?] ho oh, improve nya emang semenjak di ELTI. improved once you took the course at ELTI?] Well, ya. It did improve
Tapi karena waktu SMP itu –aku inget banget- karena kelas satu itu after I took the course at ELTI. But during junior highschool –I can still
ya tugas kami itu tu adalah mencatat 16 tenses. [me confirming; di remember it clearly- because when I was on the first year, our
sekolah?] di sekolah. Sampe guruku sejarah ‘kalian tu ngerjain apa?’ assignment was to take note all of the 16 tenses. [Me confirming; at
- ‘ngerjain bahasa Inggris bu. Nanti ndak dimarahin’. Guruku dulu tu school?] Yes, at school. And so my history teacher asked ‘what are you
gualak banget ms. Trus kami semua, sekelas diijinkan untuk doing?’ – ‘we were doing our English assignment, mrs. Otherwise, we
mengerjakan bahasa Inggris dikelas sejarah; atau bahasa Indonesia. would be scolded’. My teacher was so temperamental, ms. And so we
Kami nyatet-nyatet itu lo, tenses-tenses yang aku tu juga nggak were all in the class were permitted to finish our English assignment
faham itu tu apa. Cuman waktu di ELTI, -entah kenapa aku juga lupa during history class; or Indonesian language. We took note all the tenses
belajarnya kayak gimana- aku trus bisa. Maksudnya nggak ‘bisa’ bisa which I actually didn’t understand what that was all about. And then
yang kayak gimana-gimana, tapi aku trus faham bahwa ada subject when I was taking the course at ELTI –I kind of forget how I learnt there-
ada verb kayak gitu lo. Kayak gitu. [me joking; baru subject and a but all I know my score improved. I mean it did not improve to the
verb, oke]. Itu tu SMP, trus SMP udah –ya, termasuk yang bisa. extent that I could do so well at a certain level, but I could then
Walaupun masih banyak yang pinter ya. Jejerku kui pinter banget understood that there should be Subject and Verb. As simple as that.
bahas Inggris-e. gitu. Dan dia nggak baca Harry Potter. Yang baca [Me joking; so still at the level of knowing subject and verb, oke]. That
temenku yang lainya. Gitu lo. Tapi dia pinter. Trus, SMA kelas 1, itu was during junior highschool, and so during junior highschool –well, I
aku top performer di kelasku. Barena guruku tu dulu sepuuuh banget considered to well-understood English. Although there were many
ngono kae to, Jadi masih teacher-centered yang harus hafalan. Dan students who were better than me. My desk-mate was so good at
aku bisa ngafalin TTS itu; jadi TTS kan ada definition trus word-nya English. And she didn’t read Harry Potter. The one who read it was my
yang harus dimasukkin ke TTS nya itu [me confirming; English?] other friend. But she was so smart. And then, when I went to senior
English [nodding] trus habis itu aku adalah orang pertama yang maju highscool in the first year, I was the top performer of my class. Because
dan hafal semuanya. Itu aku bangga setengah mati [laughing] ya aku my teacher at that time was such an elderly, so the method was still so
seneng gitu lo, karena, ya udah Cuma itu tok aja. Yang lain kayanya teacher-centered that we had to memorize things. And I could manage
nggak. to memorise all of the crosswords; so the crosswords had some
definitions and we had to complete it with the intended word [me
confirming; English?] English! [Nodding]. And then I was the first
student to come up infront of the class and the one who could
memorise all of the words. I was extremely proud of myself [laughing],
well, I was so happy, because, well yeah that’s the only experience I
have. I guess nothing else.
Q3.ii Dila Jadi kan, kamu sendiri tidak merasa bahwa –ini dari yang kamu So, you yourself don’t think that –this is from what you have felt- emm,
rasakan ya- eh, yang kamu baca bahasa Indonesia kemudian kamu the one that you read is those in Bahasa Indonesia and you didn’t feel
tidak merasa itu membantumu dari segi akademis. Iya? [clarifying; like it helped you academically. Is that right? [Clarifying; what is this
apanya nih?] ya, kan kamu suka membaca, tapi bahasa Indonesia about?] Well, you are fond of reading, but it was in Bahasa Indonesia,
memang, gitu ya? Tapi kemudian yang membuat bahasa Inggrismu right? And then what helped you better with your English is your
jadi lebih baik kan memang kamu belajar di ELTI –belajar bahasa tutoring class at ELTI –where you learnt English- [interrupting; at that
Inggris- [interrupting; waktu itu] ya, waktu itu. Gitu kan ya. And then, time] Yeah, at that time. Correct me if I’m wrong. And then, meaning
berarti kan if I may sum up, berarti kan sebenarnya kamu naik itu kan that, if I may sum up, your English improvement is actually not natural
bukan proses yang natural gitu kan karena kamu memang sengaja because you did intentionally learnt [interrupting: yes, yes]. So, why do
dipembelajari [interrupting; hoh, hoh] nah, kemudian kenapa kamu you still insist of learning grammar as - [cutting; because, emm learning
masih kekeh bahwa mahasiswamu masih harus belajar grammar itu grammar? No….] you don’t want to give grammar because you think
sebagai - [cutting; karena, eh belajar grammar? Enggak…] kamu kan grammar is something that should be gained along with the way they
nggak mau memberikan grammar karena grammar itu sesuatu yang read. From their reading, right? [Agreeing by nodding] which means,
harusnya diperoleh come along with the way they read. From their you don’t exactly impose your students to learn grammar. However,
reading gitu kan? [agreeing by nodding] which means, itu kan kamu your experience told you differently.
tidak meng-impose bener untuk bener-bener belajar grammar gitu

kan? tapi kan your experience told you differently gitu.
Uke Kan nek –ngene ki. Mereka itu kan sudah belajar grammar waktu So, it’s like this. They had learnt grammar during their junior and senior
SMP/SMA? [me; he em] mereka hafal form-nya gitu lo ms, ya kan? highschool. [me; yes] They had already been familiar with the form,
tapi bagaima form itu bekerja didalam konteks, itu dapetnya hadn’t they? But, how the form then works in the context, where do
darimana? Di reading, gitu lo. Nah itu, itu yang aku juga rasakan. they get that knowledge? From reading. That’s what I also experienced.
Style writingku itu akan berubah sesuai dengan apa yang aku baca. That’s what I had been aware of for quite sometimes. So if I want my
Itu aku sudah sadar lama. Jadi kalau aku mau bagus tulisannya, baca writing to be well-written, I should read difficult journals. The ones with
tu jurnal yang sulit-sulit itu lo. Yang kata-katanya wuangel canggih- very difficult and sophisticated vocabularies. After that, I would be able
canggih gitu. Habis itu aku akan nulis paling nggak, agak-agak canggih to write at least something similar to those. [Me joking; ‘prolific’ kind of
gitu. [me joking; ‘prolific’ gitu ya? -referring to our previous casual word? -referring to our previous casual talk related to her experience
talk related to her experience using the word] ya, that kind of using the word] Yeah, that kind of ‘prolific’ you know. Wuahhh, he
‘prolific’ you know. Wuah, dikira aku nggak tahu ‘prolific’ gitu. Ya, aku thought that I didn’t know the word ‘prolific’. Well, I read it somewhere;
baca trus gimana donk? Itu kan bukan kata-kata yang rahasia ya, la what’s wrong with it? That is not such a secretive word, is it? So I was
kok. Gitu. Jadi, aku terpengaruh dan akan –apa ya- nek, aku juga influenced and will –what is it- I also feel that in my case my grammar
ngrasain bahwa grammarnya itu bukan meningkat yang giman- is not improving to certain extend. In my case, the benefit I am getting
gimana kalau di aku. Kalau di aku, aku rasanya di style of the is related to the style of the language. I enjoy reading some in English
language. Aku menikmati baca bahasa Inggris itu kan baru kuliah ya, because I was majoring in English literature. Then, I got so excited when,
karena aku anak sastra Inggris ya. Trus, menikmati sekali tu kalo, at times, come across a sentence with eye-catching structure or ones
kadang-kadang kalau, melihat kalimat yang susunannya tu eye- with unsual structure. I became so excited when reading those kind of
catching atau susunanya tu lucu nggak kayak biasanya gitu. Kayak sentences. So I enjoy the language. And, emmm… it will enrich the style.
gitu-gitu tu seneng gitu lo ms. Jadi aku menikmati bahasanya gitu lo. That’s what I am really feeling. So I’m no longger –what is it- worry
Dan, emm… itu kan memperkaya style. Itu yang kurasakan tu seperti about grammar. Well, but infact when it comes to grammar I’m not
itu. Jadi, aku sudah tidak lagi –apa namanya- worry about grammar. really that good. I mean, whenever I took TOEFL test my score didn’t
Gitu lo. Ya walaupun aku kalau grammar nggak begitu bagus-bagus really become high. But I realize that I am influenced by what I am
banget sih. Maksudnya, wong aku kalau tes TOEFL juga nggak njuk currently reading. So whenever I read something simple, my writing will
nilainya dadi bagus. Tapi aku sadar kalau aku kan terpengaruh also become simple. And whenever I read something with unique
dengan apa yang sedang aku baca. Jadi kalau aku habis baca yang sentence structures it will directly ‘match’ here [pointing her palm] with
tulisanya sederhana, aku akan menulisnya juga sederhana. Jadi ya, what I’m writing. That will –probably takes several times- then I’ll be
atau aku habis baca sesuatu yang dia itu susunan kalimatnya tu lucu unaware of using those words. So there are things which I’m unaware
menurutku gitu ya dan itu langsung nge-‘plek’ disini [pointing her of acquiring and at times when I need the words, they suddenly just pop
palm]. Itu akan –mungkin akan beberapa kali- trus secara tidak sadar up. That’s what I feel after reading some in English. So there was time
akan kupakai. Jadi ada hal-hal yang secara nggak sadar itu tu when [pausing] Mr. Mukarto had also once told me; complimenting my
langsung masuk trus nanti waktu aku butuh, dia keluar dengan summary by saying ‘the one that Uke wrote is good’. That because I’ve
sendirinya. Gitu lo. Itu yang aku rasakan kalau aku baca bahasa just finished reading. I just read something compact. So, [me
Inggris ya. Jadi, dulu waktu [pausing] pak Mukarto tu juga pernang interrupting; still remember what did you read?] No, I forgot. It was
bilang gini; memuji summary ku gitu ‘yang punya Uke ni bagus’ gitu something about TEYL if I’m not mistaken. It was during the time when
kan. Itu karena aku habis baca, gitu lo. Habis baca dan bacaanku tu I was still a student. So, that’s how it is. When I need certain word, it
ya compact gitu lo. Jadi, ya [me interrupting; masih inget bacaanya will pop up by itself. And I was satisfied with the words. Because they
apa?] enggak, aku uda lupa. Itu tentang TEYL kalau nggak salah. are the exact words I need. That’s what I had also ever read; so when
Wong pas kuliah kok. Kayak gitu ms. Jadi kalau butuh kata, sering we read often it will happen to us. So the vocabularies will be stored by
pops up sendiri. Dan aku puas dengan kata itu. Karena this is the themselves. And that’s what I believe. So I really want that everytime I
exact word that I need gitu. Aku pernah baca itu; jadi kalau kita sering read, it should be for fun instead of for memorizing things. But of course
baca tu kayak gitu jadinya ms. Jadi nanti vocab-nya tu ke-storage it also has the drawback. I do enjoy reading, but I can’t remember much.
sendiri gitu lo. Dan itu yang kupercaya. Jadi aku pingin banget kalo
baca tu –baca ya baca aja gak usah yang aku harus inget-inget apa
gitu lo. Jadi ya ada drawback-nya juga. Enjoy sih enjoy, cuma aku jadi
nggak mengingat banyak. Gitu.
Q3.iii Dila Jadi kalau [pausing] terus kan kamu selalu ‘uh, lagi banyak banget So at times… [Pausing] you often said things like ‘uh, I have many things
kerjaan gitu kan. Disini lagi banyak banget kegiatan’ gini-gini. Tapi to do now. There are ton of things to do in my department now’ and
kok somehow kamu masih ikut yang reading gathering yang di sort of things. But somehow you can still manage to participate in
SADHAR kayak gitu-gitu kan which is itu sebenarnya tidak reading gathering –the one at SADHAR- which is not directly related toy
berhubungan dnegan kelas mu. Gitu. Why? your class. Why?
Uke Ya, biar balance aja hidupnya. Biar balance hidupnya daripada aku Well, to balance my life. To balance my life, so that I am not
ngerjain tugas terus gitu kan hidupnya. Ya, ikut keiatan yang lain kek. monotonously working. Well, why not being involved in more activities.
Gitu. Just that simple, ms. Just to balance my life. La wong si Fardo tu Just that simple, ms. Just to balance my life. You know Fardo, right? ‘ms,
lo. ‘ms, aku tu mau tes TOEFL IBT tapi aku tu udah lama banget nggak I’m going to take TOEFL IBT test but its been a while since I had
speaking. Ms Uke mau nggak bantuin aku?’ – ‘ngapain’ – ‘ya nemenin conversation in English. Do you mind helping me ms?’ – ‘what can I do?’
aku ngobrol ms’ gitu. It takes time. Kita sekali ketemu tu bisa dari – ‘just accompany me talking ms’. It takes time. Once we met, it could
setengah tujuh atau jam tujuh malem, balik setengah sebelas. Kayak start at seven or seven thirty and I would arrive home at ten thirty at
gitu. Ya tak lakoni. [me confirming; ngobrol ma dia?] ngobrol ama night. Things like that. And I really did that. [Me confirming; talking to
dia. Sebenarnya nggak ngobrol sih karena dia belajar dan Fardo tu him?] Talking to him. Actually we were not simply talking because he
dah siap gitu lo. Kadang-kadang sebelum kami ketemu, dia tu ‘ms, was tudying and –everytime- he had come prepared. Sometimes before
materinya ini ya nanti’. Jadi dia yang nyari, dia yang belajar. Aku yang we met, he said ‘ms, this is the topic for our talk today’. So he was
‘owh, kayak gitu to testnya’ [laughing] malah aku jadi yang belajar. searching for the material himself, because he was the one who wants
Gitu. Itu tu hanya demi aku punya kegiatan yang lainnya. Nek to learn. While me just simply said ‘owh, so the test would be like this’
seumpamanya dipikir aku tu nggak dapat apa-apa lo ms. Owh, dia [laughing]. I do that because I just want to have more things to do. If I
jadi research participant ku memang, yang aku nggak tahu mau give it a thought, I gain nothing out of it. Owh, he then becomes my
digimanain sebenarnya ya. Aku juga belum tahu. Wong dia nanyain research participant indeed, which I don’t know what to do actually. I
‘jadi nggak-e ms risetnya?’ –‘bentar ya’. Jadi emang karena lagi am still clueless actually. He asked me ‘do you still want to write a
banyak kegiatan yang lain kan. Tapi yo kui, dingo selingan to ms. Gitu. research ms?’ – ‘later I guess’. It also because I was having many other
Apa namanya, semester kemarin kan aku kelasnya tidak begitu things to do. But yeah, once again, I need an altenative activity. Last
banyak sebenarnya [me confirming; semester yang baru selesai ini?] semester, I didn’t have that many classes actually [me confirming; the
ho oh, yang baru selesai ini. Tapi kan yo –lumayan ya- nggak banyak semester had just recently ended?] yes, the most recent one. But yeah
cuman ya nggak yang kayak semester sebelumnya. Semester –considerably less- I didn’t have that many classes like the previous
sebelumnya itu karena aku ngajar PPG juga yang jadwalnya itu nge- semesters. So the semester before, I had to also teach PPG (Education
bentrokin semua kelas-kelas dan aku harus make up. Jadi umbrug- for Teacher Profession) whose schedule clashed with my classes and so
umbrugan ngono kae lo. Yang kemarin kan enggak. Dan yang I had to have some make up classes. So everything was a mess. Last
kemarin itu aku kerasa kok -aku tu– hidupku itu em.. [pausing] tidak semester, it was actually different form that. And last semester I felt like
so much attached ke kampus. Dan –apa namanya- itu tu bikin agak –as if- my life en… [Pausing] was not so much attached to campus. And
fresh gitu lo. Gitu. Yang nggak fresh, itu tu yang baru-baru ini. Karena –how to say this- it made me fresh. I felt it so. I started to feel not really
kemudian harus ngerjain akreditasi dan akreditasi ini tu fresh just recently since we have to deal with accreditation stuff and it
menghambat semuanya. Gitu. Aku ra isoh nggarap biji, aku ra iso hidered all other agendas. I can’t finish my scorring, I can’t handle my
mikir gaweanku dewe, improvement ku cuma sedikit; kayak gitu-tu. own task, I have very little improvement; that’s how it was. I don’t even
Baca jurnalku aja we lah, nggak, hampir nggak sama sekali. Cuma read journals, almost not at all. Just read it during early semester. But I
diawal-awal semester doank kayak gitu. Tapi kalau baca yang lain still manage to have times reading others.
masih tetep.
Q4.0 Dila Tapi selama kamu melakukan itu [she comfrming; itu tu yang mana?] But while you were doing all of those [she confirming; which ones?]
itu, yang kamu sibuk dengan akreditasi, segala macem sampe ini-itu, things related to accreditation, this and that; now you’ve been part of
ini-itu; kan kamu sekarang sudah menjadi bagian dari [The The Department right [correcting me; A] A sorry; how long can you
Department] itu [she correcting me; A] A, sorry, adaptasimu berapa finally adapt to it and when you initially felt like you belong to them,
lama dan saat pertamakali kamu officially belong to them, itukan… you …. [unfinished, interrupted]
[unfinished, interrupted]
Uke I don’t even feel belong to them [giggling bitterly]. Gitu. Dan sekarang I don’t even feel belong to them [giggling bitterly]. And even until now,
aku masih adjust aku tu ms, belum selesai. Nggak tahu masalahnya I’m still adjusting, haven’t been able to adapt yet. I don’t even know
kenapa. I don’t feel that I belong to them. No, I don’t. Aku tu cuman what the problem is. I don’t feel that I belong to them. No, I don’t. I feel
–aku cuman- aku harus ngapain? Dan aku bukan –aku sadar- bukan like –I just feel like- what do I have to do? And I’m not –I am fully aware
tipe yang orangnya suka sembarangan gitu lo. [illustrating with that – I’m not a careless person. [illustrating with situation] ‘I assign you
situation] ‘Kamu tak kasih tugas ini’, terus aku sing nggarap sak- with this task’, and then I complete the task simple just to get it over
sakke ngono-i; aku tu ngak yang kayak gitu. Sebisa yang aku bisa tu with; I am not that type of person. I will put my outmost effort to
tak kasih-kasihin gitu lo. Jadi ya, ya hampir sama kayak sekarang. Lo complete the task given. So yeah, it is similar with what happened. For
akreditasi ki nggo sopo to? Rakyo dudu nggo aku to. Seumpamane whom accrediattion is supposed to be? It’s not only for me, is it? If I
aku ra nggarap trus habis itu [The Department] ditututp ki rakyo didn’t do it, and then [The Department] finally got shut down, it would
dudu masalah ku thok to. Itu kan masalahe wong kabeh ya. Tapi, aku not be only my problem, right? That will be everyone’s problem. But I
tu mengerjakanya sampe ‘aku tu ngapain sih ngerjain kayak gini?’ was thinking like ‘why do I go to this extend to finish it?’ while doing it.
tapi sambil ngerjain. Kayak gitu. Nge-lay out itu tu ternyata Lay-outing turned out to be such a tiring job. When I clicked enter, one
melelahkan sekali ya. Apalagi kalau di-enter, benjar ning ngendi yang thing would shift here and other would shift there, it’s a mess. Takes so
in benjar ning ngendi gitu lah, kayak gitu. Takes so much time. Tapi, much time. But yeah, I did it up to that detail. I tried to be as perfect as
ya aku –aku- sedetil itu. Aku mencoba se-perfect itu gitu lo. Aku yo I could. It was draining me actually. ‘Why do I need to go this far?’
capek sendiri sih sebenernya. ‘aku ngapain sih’ [talking to herself, [Talking to herself, murmuring]. Whay did I need to bother one
murmuring]. Ngapain sih satu mili aja aku geser-geser? [giggling] millimeter margin? [Giggling] a bit annoying, but when I saw things like
agak sebel, tapi kok ya nek lihat tu ya nggak enak ya. Gitu. Jadi ya, that I got disturbed. So I did the best I could. Why did I need to work
semaksimal yang aku bisa lah, kayak gitu. Ngapain coba aku lembur overtime for that? [Me interrupting; why?] Well, no idea.
yang lainya nggak? [me interrupting; ngapain?] ha, nggak tahu aku.
Q4.i Dila Trus, usahamu untuk beradaptasi tu like apa? And then, what are your efforts to adapt be like?
Uke Ya let everything go. [me confirming; maksudnya?] jadi, aku nggak Well, let everything go [me confirming; what do you mean?] so, I don’t
yang ‘ni kok begini sih?’, ‘kok masak kayak gini sih’ gitu. Yaudahlah, go like ‘why it is like this and that?’, ‘it’s not supposed to be like this’
kalau kamu mau kayak gitu ya gitu aja. Terserah. Sing penting aku sorts of thing. I take it easy, if you want it to be like that, then be it. But
orak. I won’t do it like that.
Q4.ii Dila Kamu masih tidak merasa nyaman dengan mereka? Do you still feel uncomfortable around them?
Uke Masih, masih. [me confirming; masih tidak nyaman?] masih! Masih I do, I do. [Me confirming; feel uncomfortable?] yes! I still feel
tidak nyaman. uncomfortable.
Q4.iii Dila And you’re fine with that? With that kind of relationship? And you’re fine with that? With that kind of relationship?
Uke Of course not. Tapi, yang kemarin akreditasi ini –jadi semingguan full Of course not. But, last time with the accreditation –for the whole full
atau seminngu lebih ini- itu ada yang namanya mbak Fitri. Itu tu week or more- we had this person named Fitri. She is actually a lecturer
dosen sana yang lagi S3. Wonge cuablak banget kae lo ms. Wah, nek who is now taking her S3 (Ph.D). She is so outspoken. When talking to
karo uwong ‘piye to iki ra digarap-garap?’ yo ngono kui ms. Jadi, ada people, she could deliberately say like ‘why you keep postponing
orang lain yang kemudian bisa bersuara gitu lo, nggak cuman aku. things?’ sort of thing. So there is someone else who can be the voice,
Aku tu bisa bersuara dan mbak Fitri tu ternyata sempet kaget waktu not only me. I can also be outspoken and she once was surprised
aku marah gitu lo. Kan aku sempet kan di WA group itu aku marah; knowing that I could also get mad. So I got mad once in our WA group
gitu lo. Dekke kaget dan ‘aku ampek wedi karo mbak Uke’, kayak gitu and she was surprised saying ‘I got scared of Uke’. She said that. I
kan. Dia cuma bilang kayak gitu. Walaupun aku sebenarnya punya, actually got the, I got the guts to get mad. But I just think that it is
kalu cuma marah tu aku tu punya kekuatannya gitu lo ms –untuk worthless. I am a new person in The Department, right. I am also
marah. Cuman menurutku akan worthless. Aku orang baru, yakan. younger than them. And I am also just an English lecturer. So, who am
Umurku lebih muda dari mereka. Trus aku ming wong bahasa Inggris, I? People will just take me lightly. Different with ms. Fitri; eventhough
ngono lo. Dadi yo sopo? Rak bakalan digagas. Mbak Fitri tu walaupun she is now taking her education, she is one of those who built The
dia sedang kuliah, tapi dia tu kan dulu ikut membesarkan The Department during its ealy establishment. She was there on the first
Department waktu awal-awal. Dia ikut akreditasi yang pertama. Dia accreditation. She teaches Arabic. I mean the one who really belongS
orang arab. Ya maksudnya orang memang yang ngajar bahasa Arab. there. And she knew those people long. So she can just yell at everyone.
Gitu lo. Dan dia sudah kenal orang-orangnya. Jadi dia mau nyablakin Although probably when she got mad she was also thinking ‘who am I,
siapa aja bisa. Walaupun dia tu marah tu kan karena mungkin ‘aku ki I’m not even an active lecturer right now’. But behind that, I think
yo sopo to aku, wong aku yo pas statusnya tu bukan dosen aktif’ gitu sometimes what we need is not that kind of status. Instead, what we
lo. Cuman kan dibalik itu kalau menurutku kadang-kadang ki –kita- need is her authority and her charisma. Things like that, you know those
status yang dibutuhkan tu bukan itu. Tapi wibawanya tapi intangible things. That kind of thing, ms. So those people would start
kharismanya dia kayak gitu-gitu kan ya. Kayak gitu, hal-hal yang –apa to move after being yelled at by ms. Fitri. [Me interrupting; that’s a good
namanya- intangible. Kayak gitu-gitu lo ms. Jadi, orang-orang nek thing ringht] well, yeah. So last night we were doing that until seven
digetak-in mbak Fitri ni tu kemarin pada baru mau gerak. [me thirty- seven thirty pm. Ms. Fitri who is currently inactive was also there
interupting; bagus donk] he, yaiya. La semalem tu kan kami sampai at that late. We started from eight in the morning to seven thirty at
jam setengah delapan –setengah delapan malem. Mbak Fitri tu night. We had no break at all. The break was just for meal, and we even
dosen yang sedang tidak aktif aja sampe malam lo ms. Itu dari jam 8 have the meal while working. So this last week I could survive because
pagi sampai jam setengah delapan malam. Kami tu nggak break sama of her. So I feel there is some one who can tell those people do what
sekali tu. Break tu cuman makan aj sambil ngerjain. Gitu. Yang they need to do. So she was the one who told them to do things, while
seminggu ini aku bisa bertahan karena ada dia. Kayak ada yang I was the one who took care of the files. I was the one who managed all
bantuin untuk ngoprak-ngoprak orang gitu lo. Jadi dia yang ngoprak- those files and compiled them to be one. But she was the one who
oprak, aku yang beresin file. Aku yang nge-manage semua berkas- insisted everyone to do their parts, she also helped reviewing the files.
berkas kerjaan jadi satu, ditempatku ms. Tapi dia yang hgoprak- But I kept all of those files. I compiled those and distributed those
oprakin orang, dia yang bantuin review. Tapi all that files itu adanya [repeating twice] that’s how we worked. Until I had so many files on my
di aku. Aku yang ambil aku yang sebar [repeating twice] kayak gitu. laptop. So I survived the accreditation last week because of Ms. Fitri.
Samapai laptopku tu banyak banget file-file. Gitu. Jadi seminngu ini
bertahan akreditasi karen mbak Fitri.
Q4.iv Dila Trus, rasanya kan kayak berat ya, berat jiwa dan raga juga gitu ya. So, it felt so burdening for you. Mentally and physically. What makes
What makes you stay? you stay?
Uke Because, belum ada cara untukku hilang dari situ. Kalau sudah ada Because, I haven’t found a way to disappear form there. When there is
mungkin aku akan hilang. Maksudnya ilang ya trus mungkin aku a way, I will probably be gone. By being gone I mean I might not be there
nggak ada disitu gitu. Tapi aku ngak, belum tahu, belum dapat cara. any longer. But nw I still haven’t got a way, still don’t know how.
Q4.iv Dila Itu juga yang membuatmu belum mengurus eehh… itumu? [referring That’s what also keeps you delaying the …. What is it called? [referring
to Functional Position] to Functional Position]
Uke Iya. Tapi emang dari awal kan –apa ya- aku tukan nggak yang Yes. But from the beginning –how to say that- I’m not idolizing UMY. I
mengidolakan UMY ya. I mean, waktu di PPB pun aku tau –sedikit sih- mean, even when I was at LTC I kind of knew –a little bit- some about
ya, UMY tu kayak apa gitu kan. Waktu aku masuk kesana, trus ada UMY. When I was appointed there, and so I saw some of them directly
beberapa yang aku lihat secara langsung kayak ‘wo, yowes’ I noticed that ‘ow, okay’ simply like that. I see the current rector – Mr.
maksudnya ya gitu aj. Cuman yang kayak, aku melihat rektornya Gun- is good in some ways. I mean, he has a vision toward some
sekarang –Pak Gun itu- ada baiknya gitu. Maksudnya, kan dia punya improvements. So when it deals with some improvements, I am moved.
visi untuk memajukan gitu lo ms. Jadi ya, kalau itu yang berkaitan But when I don’t know the purpose of doing something, I become
dengan visi yang untuk memajukan, nah aku tergerak gitu. Tapi kalau reluctant. Yeah, well or probably I’m just being lazy [both giggling]. Just
yang aku nggak tahu tujuannya buat apa, aku tu males. Ho oh, aku ki like how Ms. Luluk always told me to do it, Ms. Marga does so. But when
mungkin yo aku semales itu kali ya ms ya [both giggling]. Yo kayak itu I feel like I don’t want to, what can I do? Because I feel that there is no
mbak Luluk udah nyuruh, ms. Marga dah nyuruh. Tapi nek males yo objective of doing so. Or probably I’m the one who can’t see the
trus piye. Soalnya ya aku merasa nggada tujuannya gitu, atau aku objective, but then I feel it is purposeless. I’m the type of ‘where do I
yang tdak bisa membaca tujuan yo bisa jadi. Cuman aku merasa want to go?’, ‘what do I want to achieve?’, ‘what is the purpose of doing
purposeless ya. Aku sih, ‘sebenarnya mau kemana-e?’, ‘sebenarnya it?’ last semester I frequently went out –right- I joined the first
mau apa-e?’, ‘yang mau dituju tu apa-e?’ Semester kemarin aku roadshow. So after I gave it a second thought, 2008 is the time when I
banyak keluar –ya kan- ikut roadshow yang pertama itu. Jadi setelah went out so often. From the beginning of the year to the end of the year
kupikir-pikir kemarin itu, tahun 2018 itu adalah tahun dimana aku on November. So last time as you know, I went to Bandung with Ms.
keluar. Gitu. Dari awal tahun sampai akhir tahun kemarin November. Yuseva. So in every activity I have a purpose. When I don’t have a
Waktu dulu itukan, aku keluar, ke Bandung sama bu yuseva itu. Jadi purpose, it will be Mr. Willy’s or Ms. Yuseva’s. And so they pass on their
disetiap activity itu aku tu punya tujuan. Kalau aku nggak punya objective to me, ms. So they share their vision to me. And then I
tujuan; yang punya tujuan tu pak Willy, yang punya tujuan tu bu understand, ‘ow so this is the purpose of doing this’. Things like that ms.
Yuseva. Dan mereka itu tu kasih tujuan ke aku gitu lo ms. Jadi mereka So when I move for something, I know what is it for. While with UMY, I
share vision mereka tu apa. Jadi aku ngerti, “owh, tujuannya tu buat don’t really get it.
ini loh”. Gitu lo ms. Jadi tu, waktu bergerak –aku mengerahkan
tenagaku- aku tu tahu itu tu untuk apa. Gitu. Kalau yang disini, aku
nggak ngerti.
Q4.v Dila Ha tapi kan, and then kamu kan sudah terlanjur in need dan kamu But again, you have now been in a position where you are in need and
mau nggak mau juga harus melakukan semua ini gitu kan. And then, whether you want it or not you still have to do it. And then, if you don’t
kalau kamu tidak mengurus yang itu tadi bukanya malah menjadi start to get it done, wouldn’t it be such a complete waste?
tambah sia-sia?
Uke Hmm, sekarang sudah ku urus. Karena aku sudah ada tujuan Hmmm, now I have done it. Because now I have found the purpose for
sekarang. Untuk diriku sendiri. Maksudku tu, aku melihat orang-oran it. For my own sake. I mean, seeing those selfish people … how to say
se-selfish itu kan e…. apaya, mungkin ini kayak peralihan yang this, probably this is the diversion that I notice –in my opinion, although
kusadari –apa ya, yang menurutku ya. tapi aku nggak tahu itu bener I’m not sure whether it is right or wrong. Because when I was working
atau engga. Karena tu aku kan tadinya kerja disini, we shared all of here, we shared all of our vision. We had our collective purpose; so we
our vision. Kita punya tujuan kita bersama; ada ya tujuan bersama itu had that mutual objective. Be it to protect, to improve, to develop [me
ada ya. Untuk mempertahankan lah, untuk memperbaiki lah, untuk cutting; here at LTC? At PPB you mean?] Yes!. So I am used to work with
mengembangkan lah [me cutting; disini tu di LTC? Di PPB?] he em, a purpose, with people who are open to the purpose. So when I moved
gitu lo. Jadi aku tu terbiasa bekerja dengan tujuan, dengan orang- there, I didn’t see the purpose. And people there have their own
orang yang juga bertujuan sama, gitu lo, dengan orang-orang yang purpose. So there is no, there is no such thing as collective collegial
terbuka terhadap tujuan itu, gitu lo ms. Jadi saat aku kesana, tujuan there. Say for example, someone said ‘I was waiting until blablablabla,
itu tu nggak aku lihat. Gitu. Trus disitu tu orang-orang punya tujuan overtime until late at night’ but the truth is he was working on his own
masing-masing. Gitu. Yang gada, yang dijudulin collective collegial itu job instead of on accreditation stuffs. Accreditation should have been
tu gada. La opo to, dekke ‘aku we nunggu og tekan ini blablabla everyone’s responsibility. ‘I work overtime’ but ‘you worked overtime
lembur tekan bengi’, tur nggrap nggone dewe, ora nggarap sing not to finish this mutual jobs, you worked on your own job’ [with cynical
akreditasi lah contohnya. Akreditasi tu kan kerjaan semua orang ya. intonation]. For the sake of your improvement, for the sake of your ….
‘aku tu nglembur sampe tengah malem’, ha tapi ‘kamu tu ngga Emmmm bottom line is for their own job. So, that’s also why I still
ngerjain tugas yang bareng-bareng ya’ gitu lo, ‘Kamu ngerjain clearly remember when I was doing that I made it clear by saying ‘if I
tugasmu sendiri’ [with synical intonation] gitu lo. For the sake of your see someone is leaving, I will stop doing this’. [Me confirming; you
own improvement, for the sake of your … emmm ya pokoknya yang exactly said that?] Yess! Until Ustadz Hum –well probably because he
kerjaan dia sendiri lah, gitu. Makanya kemarin –kemarin itu- aku tu has a family and things- but I said to him ‘Ustadz Hum goes home, I will
sampe inget waktu ngerjain ‘sampe ada yang pulang, ra tak garap!’ go home’ , ‘Mr. Nanang goes home, I will not sent this’. I even daringly
aku gitu. [me confirming; kamu ngomong gitu?] iya! Sampe ustadz said things like that ms. And then –what is it- every one has their own
Hum juga kan, mungkin ya karena dia sudah punya keluarga dan standard to work on, right? Since I’ll be compiling all of their works, that
sebagainya, tapi aku yo bilang “ustadz Hum balik, saya pulang”, “pak make me the last person to work. When they had finished, they did
Nanang pulang, nggak saya kirim kok ini” aku gitu. Gitu, aku kemarin nothing. They worked on their scoring report. I protested, ‘everyone is
sampai gitu ms. Trus –apa namanya- setiap orang punya standar nya finishing their scoring report, I actually want to do the same. How about
sendiri-diri yang dikerjain gitu ya, kan semuanya yang compile aku this; should I not finish it?’ I went on like that [both giggling]. What else
jadi aku akan menjadi orang terakhir yang bekerja. Ya kan? mereka can I do? I was also stressed by it –I had to- I had to finish it, whose job
udah selesai, kan ya mereka ngga ngapa-ngapain ya. Mereka ngerjain was it? It was not my own right? How about me stop doing that?
nilai. Protes to aku, ‘do nggarap biji. Aku yo pengen nggarap biji. [Smirking and laughing]. And so I said those kind of things.
Piye? Rasah tak garap po?’ aku yo ngono [both giggling]. La piye? Aku
yo stress -aku ki- iki kudu tak rampungke, iki ki gaweane soo to? Dudu
gaweanku dewe e, la piye rasah tak garap po? [smirking and
laughing]. Aku yo ngono njukkan.
Q4.vi Dila And then how did they react? And then how did they react?
Uke Yo terus diem, trus ya ada didepanku juga kok malah ‘ngaji’. [me They went quite. Just imagine, how can they in front of me ‘ngaji’. [Me
confirming; ngaji? Ngaji…] nggarap biji. Ya aku yo, yoweslah. Cuman confirming; ‘ngaji’? ‘Ngaji’…] nggarap biji (scoring students’ test paper).
semisalnya pas yang aku punya kesempatan untuk bilang ya bilang I just think like ‘ok, whatever’. But, when I had the opportunity to say
‘kowe do nggarap biji?’ gitu ‘yowes to nggarapo, aku yo arep things, I would say ‘so you guys are finishing your scoring?’ things like
nggarap. Piye? Rasah digarap po iki?’ aku ya gitu. Trus, nanti mbak that ‘ok, just go ahead, I will also do mine. How about it? Why not stop
Fitri nge-back up aku kan ‘piye to doan?’ [imitating how mbak Fitri’s dealing with this accreditation stuff?’ I went on like that. And then Ms.
tone, giggling]. ‘iki ki digarap’ [continuing], trus diseneni kabeh Fitri would back me up and said ‘what you’ve been doing?’ [Imitating
[laughing]. Kemaren tu aku tu udah desperate soalnya. Kan harusnya how mbak Fitri’s tone, giggling], ‘we should finish it quickly’
kemarin –harusnya selasa, harusnya selasa- tapi trus kami minta [continuing], and then she would yell at them all [laughing]. Yesterday,
perpanjangan karena aku bilang ‘kita nggak bakalan bisa hari selasa’ I had been so desperate. So it supposed to be yesterday –supposed to
gitu lo. Itu pas hari apa aku lupa, kita nggak bakalan bisa hari selasa be Tuesday, supposed to be Tuesday- but then we asked for an
lihat progress nya tu, ra mungkin lah. Trus ya udah kita minta sampai extension because I said ‘we will not make it on Tuesday’. I said that
hari kamis kan. Kan hari kamis yang semalem itu sebenarnya bisa on… don’t exactly remember the day but I just thought that seeing our
kalu mau dilanjutin, gitu. Wong, kan ada tujuh standar, standar yang progress I knew we would not make it, it was impossible. And so we
ke-dua itu tu sampai semalem udah pada capek kan. Bacanya tu asked for an extension up until Thursday. Actually on thursday night we
gimana coba? ‘udahlah nggak papa, skip-skip-skip’ [gesturing with could actually continue working. So we have seven standards, and we
her hands]. ‘Lanjut, di close-close-close, udahlah skip-skip-skip’ ming finished with the second one at night when everyone had been so
ngono kui thok. Sebelumnya to ms, baca tu satu-satu dibaca. Read exhausted. Do you know how we read it? ‘Owh that’s fine, just skip-
aloud gitu. Dan didengerin sama banyak orang trus didebat gitu, skip-skip’ [gesturing with her hands]. ‘Next, close-close-close, just don’t
‘salah tu itu kalimat-e. Dibaleni, ngene-ngene’ gitu lo. Yang semalem mind it skip-skip-skip’ that’s what we simply did. You know, before that
udah nggak kuat itu. Aku sampai rumah yowes, ngglethak ms. we really read everything one by one. Read them aloud. And everyone
Nonton, turu [laughing]. Gitu. Harusnya sih kemarin, gitu lo. Tapi trus was listening to it and argued ‘no, it’s not supposed to be written like
ini tadi sampe jam berapa ya? Sampe jam setengah sebelas ya. Aku that. Rewrite it to be like this and that’. But last night we didn’t have
sebelum kesini itu tu aku nyelesein semua udah ku kirim. energy left. Once I got home I just lied on my bad. I watched some and
slept [laughing]. So, it supposed to be yesterday. But today we are still
working on it until… kind of forget the time. I think until ten thirty. Right
before I went here I was still finishing things up and then mailed them
all.
Q4.vii Dila Brarti kan sekarang kamu sudah bisa lebih ekspresiv ya, kalau kamu So you you have expressed yourself better each time you got mad.
marah ya marah. Sebelumnya kan kamu agak-agak nahan. Previously you had always been holding yourself.
Uke Enggak sih. Nek menurutku itu karena aku pas punya posisi untuk Not really. That was only because I had the right to talk. And when there
ngomong. Pas ada mbak Fitri juga. Wong yang kemarin-kemarin aku was Ms. Fitri too. Last time whenever I got mad, although I had the
marah itu, walaupun aku punya kapasitasnya ya menurutku aku capacity to do so, I think I was wrong. [Me confirming; wrong to get
salah. [me confirming; salah untuk marah?] salah untuk marah mad?] wrong to get mad [nodding]. So there are three people I had
[nodding]. Ada tiga orang yang sudah kena damprat, ya kan [me at yelled at [me at the background laughing]. One is related to
the background laughing]. Satu tu akreditasi juga, gitu, di forum. accreditation stuffs, at the forum. The second one is about the Bridging
Yang ke-dua Bridging; sedikit forum. Ada –maksudnya- ada orang- program; slightly at the forum. There are also –I mean- there still other
orang yang lainya gitu. Yang ke-tiga di forum juga. Daku marah –ya people actually. The third one is also during a forum. I got–I mean- I
maksudnya- orang-orang akan setuju degan marahku. Cuman kan, believe people would have agreed on me being angry. It’s just that, they
mereka tidak terbiasa dengan yang seperti itu to. Tapi, tapi mereka are not accustomed to that kind of culture. But funny thing is, they do
juga bilang ‘ha iki nek ora di’ –di opo ya istilahe- ‘nek ora di ngonokke realize that ‘if we were not’ –how to say this- ‘if we were not told to do
ki yo rak mlaku’ ngono lo ms. Mereka juga menyadari, lucu ya? Aku so, we would not do it’. They actually realize that, funny isn’t it? So ‘I
adalah orang-orang yang harus dipaksa-paksa seperti itu untuk maju’ am someone who need to be forced to get some improvements’
[illustrating her colleagues’ thought]. Maksud-e nek ngono-ngono kui [illustrating her colleagues’ thought]. I mean those kind of things are
kan yo lucu gitu. Nggak ada sense of urgency. Aku yang kadang- ridiculous, right? There is no sense of urgency. The things that I’ve been
kadang bertanya-tanya adalah, nggada rasa bahwa iki-ki tanggung wondering sometimes is that how can they possibly have no sense of
jawabku lo. Opo yo tanggung jawab terhadap profesimu lah intinya responsibility. At least responsibility toward their own profession.
gitu. Paling nggak tu gitu tu lo. Ternyata ya gitu. Orang-orang punya That’s at the very least. But it turns out that they don’t. Those people
tujuannya sendiri-sendiri. Nggak kayak disini. Kalau disini jelas gitu lo have their own purpose. Unlike what we have here. When it comes to
ms. Ya kan. ‘tujuan kita sekarang adalah untuk memperbaiki LTC, the purpose is always clear. ‘So our purpose is now to revise our
kurikulum’ everyone will work for the same –apa namanya- same curriculum’ and so everyone will work for the same –what is it called-
vision, the same purpose. Disana tu aku ngga tau mau ngapain. Jadi same vision. The same purpose. While there, I don’t know what I’ve
orang-orang punya tujuan sendiri. Aku ra ngerti lah ms. Mereka mau been doing. And everyone has their own purpose. I just don’t get it, ms.
ngapain tu aku ngga tau [shaking her head]. Trus, ya yang sekarang I just don’t understand what they want [shaking her head]. And then,
jadi jargonku setelah selesai akre tu ya ‘let’s be selfish’. Gitu. Jadinya what has become my tag-line after finishing the accreditation is ‘let’s be
kamu mo mikirin dirimu sendiri yang itu tu aku ngga ngerti apa, ya selfish’. That’s it. So, if you want to think about yourself which I don’t
sudah. Kalau begitu aku juga I’ll think about myself juga. Gitu. Kalau understand what it’s all about then go ahead. If that’s the case I’ll think
yang kemarin-kemarin aku sering keluar itu, aku ijin –gitu kan- ya this about myself too. As simple as that. So last time, I went out so often, I
is for my own improvement. And yang kubawa adalah nama The got the permission -I did- this is for my own improvement. And
Department. Jadi aku kemana, itu yang dapet ya The Department. wherever I went to, I affiliated myself under The Department. So each
Gitu. Jadi aku presentasi dimana gitu, ya yang tak bawa –nggak yang time I had a presentation, I did it on behalf of The Department -instead
terus aku bawa namaku sendiri gitu. Yang aku bawa tidak The of simply putting my name. Once I wasn’t affiliated myself with The
Department itu adalah waktu aku ke Jepang. Itu tu awal banget aku Department is when I went to Japan. That was the very beginning when
di The Department. Belum ngrasain dan aku masih ‘entah’ kayak I started working there. Still didn’t get the feeling and I was still
gitu-gitu ya. [me clarifying; ngrasain?] belum –apaya-. [me ‘whatever’. [Me clarifying; didn’t get the feeling of?] I had not -how to
confirming again; belum ngrasa jadi [The Department]?] ya sampai say it- [me confirming again; you hadn’t felt like you belong to The
sekarang sih juga belum. Tapi ya paling nggak sekarang kan udah Department?] well, even until now, I still haven’t felt I belong there. But
agak lama. Jadi, yo kowe tau diri lah ‘ke –gitu ya [talking to herself]. at least, now it’s been some time and so ‘you should know your place
Kalau dulu aku–masih belum tau diri- [me; giggling] jadi aku tu yang ‘ke’ [talking to her self]. Back then, I couldn’t put myself right [me
di Jepang itu; yang aku represent UMY ngga represent The giggling] so when I went to Japan I did it on behalf of UMY instead of
Department. Gitu. Kalau sekarang aku dosen [The Department] gitu [The Department]. But now, wherever I go I always say that I am the
kalau dimanapun. Karena bilangnya dari The Department gitu. Ya, itu lecturer of The Department. And so I introduce myself as the lecturer of
cuman biar aku rodo lego ya. Tidak merasa bersalah. Kayak gitu. Kalu The Department. I think I do it simply to feel relieved. Not to feel guilty.
masih ngga enjoy ya, masih ngga enjoy. Ha aku nggak ngerti-e mau But when it comes to whether I still can’t enjoy it or not, I still can’t
ngapain. Trus akhirnya ya harus punya tujuan sendiri tadi tu lo ms. enjoy me being there. Because I have no clue what am I going to do
Mungkin aku terbiasa bareng-bareng ya, nggarap apa sama temen- there. And so I end up with making my own goal as how I told you
temen, kerja bareng temen-temen. Sekarang harus sendiri-sendiri. earlier, ms. Probably I am used of being together; doing everything with
Dan –apa ya- sesuatu yang pahit yang sekarang ku akui itu adalah some friends, working together with friends. Now I have to do
‘jangan pernah cerita tujuanmu ke orang lain’. Wo, itu menyakitkan. everything by myself. And -how to say it- something so heartbreaking
Buatku; buatku pribadi. Jadi ya, itu. Karena aku ngga biasa seperti itu that I am now believing is that ‘never tell what your purpose is to other’.
ya. Disini tu kan, kita kan cerita gitu ya. Sekarang ngga lagi. ‘don’t Wuaa, that hurts. For me; personally. So, yeah. Because I’m not that
ever tell your purpose. Your move with everyone’. Tu aku [shaking her type of person. Whereas here, we always tell each other. Now I can’t do
head], aku tu cerita -ternyata, mungkin memang seharusnya seperti that anymore. ‘Don’t ever tell your purpose. Your move with
itu; aku aja yang dulu terlalu naive nggak faham. Tu apa ya, itu tu everyone’.It was [shaking her head], so I told -turn out that, probably
adalah dunia yang sepi sekali tu lo ms. Tapi ya gimana, kayak gitue. that’s how it should have been; probably it was just me who was so
Aku ingin menolak, kan aku lama menolaknya. Baru-baru ini aja yang, naive and couldn't see things. It is such a, really such a lonely world ms.
ya mo gimana lagi? Harus diterima kayak gitu. But what else can I do. I want to deny it, I had been in denial for so long.
It is just recently that can accept it, what else can I do? I just have to
accept it.
Q4.viii Dila Kok, you’ve been working like how many years? Two years? Dua You know, you’ve been working like how many years? Two years? It’s
tahun ya kamu disitu ya? [she cutting me; enggak ya. Eh iyaya 17/18] been two years since you started working there right? [She cutting me;
dua tahun; kurang lebih lo ya. [she; iya-ya. Nodding] kok hanya dalam no. Owh wait, yeah yeah it was 17/18] it’s two years; more or less. [She;
kurun waktu yang sesingkat itu kok sesuatu yang fundamental bisa yeas yes. Nodding] how come in that very short period of time,
berubah darimu itu… something so fundamental in you has changed…
Uke [cutting] la kan drastis ms. Nggada bridging apa-apa to. Dari yang tadi [cutting] The change was so drastic ms. There was no bridging
semua-semua dikerjainnya bareng, gitu, semua diceritain. Apa to whatsoever. From being used to work together, I also talk about
yang kalian ngga ngerti dari aku? Ya nggak? Maksudku kalian tu cuma everything. What things you don’t know about me, right? I mean you
temenku kerja gitu. Tapi aku tu ngrasa sudah seperti keluarga. Kalian guys are all actually just my coworkers. But I feel like you’ve become my
tahu aku tu sukanya apa sih, jadwalku latihan we lo do ngerti. Ho oh family. You guys know what things I like, even up to my practice
to? Aku tu lo ngga latihan ditanyain. Sampe –maksudnya- sampe schedule. Don’t you? When I skip my practice you would ask me. Even
sepersonal itu gitu. Ha sampai sana tu aku ngga kenal siapa-siapa, to the extent of that kind of personal things. When I moved there, I
nggada tujuan yang di share, kegiatan itu [unfinished]. Wes rasah knew no one, had no purpose to share, some activities were…
ngomongin personal ya –ngga usah ngomongin personal life ya. [Unfinished]. Well, let alone talking about personal things -let’s exclude
Wong ini kerjaan ya ms, ada satu kegiatan yang itu tu ngga di share personal life. Even when it is about work, there was this particular
gitu lo. Jadi kegiatan apa gitu tu ngga di share. Hanya orang-orang agenda which was not shared to the other. So there once an agenda
tertentu yang tau. Wonge ono piro sih? La ming wong songo. Kok, which was not shared. There were only some people being informed.
ngga di share gitu lo ms. Itu kan [lifting her shoulders] gitu.
How many people are there? There are only nine. Why didn’t you share
it to everyone. That was such a [lifting her shoulders] thing.
Q4.ix Dila Kamu merasa sedihnya di exclude atau karena tidak ada Did you feel upset for being excluded or for the absence of the
kebersamaan atau? togetherness or something else?
Uke Hmm [thinking] karena, karena kerjanya ngga bareng-bareng. Trus Hmm [thinking] because, when we are working we are not working
habis itu, baru minggu ini kan aku trus baru ngrasa kalau –ok, aku together. And beside that, it is just this week when I start to feel that -
ternyata di exclude gitu. Ya kan aku cerita, aku ngga diikutkan dalam ok, I am indeed being excluded. So like I said, I was not involved in the
pengabdian, aku ngga diikutkan ke penelitian mereka, gitu lo. Tapi community service program, I was not involved in their research, those
ya, trus aku ya, terus aku mau apa? Mau minta ‘mbok aku diikuti’ gitu kinds of thing. But then, well yeah, what can I do? To say things like
yo males banget to. Ok, terus kalau ngga diikutin ya aku akan jalan ‘please involve me’ would never be an option. Ok, so if I am not involved
sendiri gitu lo. Kayak gitu ms. Trus, ya itu. Terutama ke mereka ya, I will go on by my self. Things are like that there, ms. So like I said.
aku berencana untuk tidak share apa-apa. Maksudnya, ha kan aku Especially to them, I am planning not to share anything. I mean
kadang-kadang crita ‘wah aku besok mau kayak gini ya, aku mau sometimes I would say ‘next time I will do this and that’ right? [unclear
kayak gitu ya’ gitu to? [unclear mumble] mumble]
Q4.x Dila Kok gitu sih? [interupting; Ya gimana? Mau buat apa gitu lo?] but Why you have to be like that? [Interrupting; I have no choice? Why
then, don’t you think itu –kan, maksud-e- kamu pun bahkan sampai should I be?] But then, don’t you think -I mean- you are even until now
sekarang masih dalam proses beradaptasi, gitu ya. Kamu mau still in the process of adaptation, right. You want to make yourself feel
membuat dirimu merasa that you belong there gitu. Tapi kalau that you belong there. But if you do such thing, doesn’t it mean that you
seperti itu kan sama aja you give up doing that? give up doing that?
Uke Well I’ve tried. Aku sudah coba, ms. Dan berkali-kali [her tone is Well, I’ve tried. I’ve tried ms. Over over again [her tone is drastically
drastically lower than her usual tone] harapan itu kan selalu –selalu lower than her usual tone]. I keep hoping always-always but then it’s
kemudian- hilang. Hilang lagi dan lagi. [start increasing the tone to gone. It’s gone again and again. [Start increasing the tone to her normal
her normal tone] Jadi ada beberapa hal yang aku merasa bahwa tone] so there were several things that make me feel ‘owh, we can
‘owh, ternyata kita bisa ya bareng-bareng gitu’. Trus aku put feelings actually work together’. And so I put feelings to it. I mean, there were
to it, gitu. Maksudnya aku bisa gitu; ternyata mereka bisa ngerjain; times when I thought I could; that they could do it; they could sacrifice.
nggetih lah. Tapi nanti –halahhh- besok bar harinya gitu to, nddleyo But then later -haishhhh- the following day they would go back to their
meneh gitu. Jadi kan apa yang kurasakan itu bukan karakter asli gitu old nature. So what I felt is not their real character, ms. Because they
lo ms. Karena dia berubah, karena itu tu muncul hanya karena pas may change, because those good vibes only appear when there was an
ada kepentingan. Gitu. Kan ya, semua orang -semua orang- menutku urgency. Well everyone -each person- I think will make him/her self a
ya, akan menjadikan dirinya sebagai prioritas. Kalau disana tu begitu. priority. Because that’s how thing goes there. Different with PBI -I just
Nek PBI ki –aku tu baru sadarnya tadi pas aku ngumpulin berkas ke realized it right before I came here when I submitted some files to
fakultas. Kan aku nggak ngerti ni bentuknya berkas harus seperti apa, faculty. So I didn’t know how should I organize the file, then I asked one
trus aku nanya sama staff yang namanya Jenni; ‘Jen, aku lihat donk of the staffs named Jenni; ‘Jen, can I see what the letters for community
yang surat-surat yang buat pengabdian itu kayak apa’, ‘oh yang service look like?’, ‘owh, the previous ones we discussed?’, ‘yes, may I
kemarin, ms?’, ‘ya, tak delok oleh ya?’. Trus aku kan lihat ya. Emang see them as example?’ and so I took a look at those letters. And indeed,
PBI tu udah pada ngumpulin ms. Dan aku tu tahu –sangat tahu- PBI had submitted their files. Even though I know -I exactly know- that
mereka tu sekarang sedang stress karena harus kumpul nilai juga, they are now so stressful for having to submit the score, moreover they
dan kerjaannya tu banyak banget, dan meeka habis piknik. Ya kan? also have so many things to do, on top of that they were just going for
mereka mau ngerjain kapan, gitu ya. Dan PBI tu kerjaanya it’s like a picnic. How can they still have time to do all of those? And works at
never ending gitu lah. Aku tahu sendiri gitu lo. Tapi surat-surat itu, itu PBI is like never ending. I see it myself. But those letters, they had
tu sudah ada. Dan surat-surat itu kalau ada satu yang gada, pencairan managed to submitt them. And when there is still one letter missing,
dana tu semua terganggu. Artinya tu kan mereka bisa tahu, mana the fund will not be processed. It means, they did understand which one
yang kepentingan bersama mana yang yang kepentingan mereka should be a common interest and which one should be individual. And
pribadi gitu lo ms. Ya kan? trus bar itu tak urut-urut to; jadi kalau – then I began to look back and realized that PBI is almost up to 90% be
itu tu selalu seperti ini- PBI tu hampir 90% itu tu pasti jadi orang the first one to submit the files when needed by faculty. So they know
pertama yang ngumpulin berkas kalau itu yang minta fakultas. Jadi, precisely which one is their own responsibility which one is for others;
tahu ini tu emang tugasnya untuk semua orang ngono lo; for the sake of many people. They always prioritize the ones
berhubungan dengan semua orang. Mereka mesti nduluin daripada contributing to many rather than their own responsibility at The
kepentingan mereka di prodi. La sakkiki ndelok meneh mereka tu Department. As how I’ve been observing, that is how their working
kalau kerja tu kan kayak gitu ya. Itu mereka lebih mentingin itu ethic is. They will prioritize that over their own personal interest. Well,
daripada kepentingan mereka sendiri. Ya, yang di rumah, mereka ya of course at home they must have a good support system. That’s what
pasti punya support systemnya bagus ya di rumah. Gitu, ya mungkin probably not everyone have. But every one of them are driven to do the
nggak semua orang juga punya. Tapi semua orang tu same, ms. As I see it from outsider’s point of view, that’s what is lacking
mengusahakannya gitu lo ms. Itu yang aku lihat sebagai kaca mata at The Department -that’s what we don’t have. But more or else, that’s
orang yang nggak punya –nggak punya- itu di The Department. Tapi, how it is at PBI. They always prioritize those which are not personal
ya paling nggak tu ya kayak gitu. Mereka lebih mementingkan yang interest. Whereas at PBI, what happen is the opposite.
bukan kepentingan mereka dulu, gitu. Ha, kalau di The Department
tu kebalik donk. Gitu.
Q4.xi Dila Tapi nanti, kamu nggak takut kalau akan jadi berasa lebih berat? But then, aren’t you worried that it’s going to make you feel worse?
Uke Ha wong sekarang aja aku sudah merasa kayak public enemy og. Well, even now I am feeling like I’ve become a public enemy.
Q4.xii Dila La iya, that’s why. Kan kamu kan, tadi sudah mulai mengurus –biar See, that’s why. As you said, you’ve now started to get things done -so
kamu- status mu di sini, gitu kan. Na tapi kan in contrast kamu malah that your status here is official, right? But in contrast, you are now
justru lebih luwih-luwih gitu ‘whatever’ gitu untuk tidak mau becoming more and more ignorant; like ‘whatever’ and also becoming
beradaptasi disitu gitu lo. Jadi kalau toh kamu tidak merasa memiliki so reluctant to adapt. So you don’t give it much though that you don’t
disitu ya sudahlah memang keadaanya seperti ini. Tapi kemudian feel you belong there, just let it be for that’s just the way it is. But then
kamu mengurus statusmu, which means nanti kalau statusmu sudah you started to arrange the paper works for your status, which means
selesai kan kamu akan susah. Kayak tadi kamu bilang bahwa karena later when you have finished with all of those it would be more difficult
for you. As what you’ve earlier told me that so far you haven’t had
belum ada tujuan lain atau belum ada apa yang lain gitu kan. nanti another goal, you don’t have anything else. One day when it came -it
kalau one day it came –it come- gimana? comes- what would you do then?
Uke Eh, kalau yang tak prediksikan tidak banyak yang berubah. Gitu. Hmm, I predict that there won’t be too many changes. I mean, I would
Maksudnya aku secara administrative tugasku akan lebih banyak. have more administrative works. However, related to administrative
Tapi, tugas administrative kalau aku sudah tetap, itu aja sekarang jobs that I would have once I’ve become a permanent lecturer, I have
sudah kukerjakan gitu lo. Maksudnya aku sekarang juga kan punya actually done them right now. I mean, even now I have had those
kewajiban itu walaupun enggak yang banget, gitu ya. Dan aku sering responsibilities although not many yet. And I often said things like ‘well
bilang ‘kan aku rung tetap, kan aku rung tetap’ kayak gitu lo. Jadi I’m not yet a permanent lecturer, not yet’. So I kind of use it as weapon
kayak senjata bodon ngono kae lo. Besok udah nggak bisa lagi. Tapi, to excuse my self from something. Later I can’t use it anymore. But
ya udahlah dijalanin aja gitu. Ya, sepi ms. Sepi banget. Maksunya yeah, well let’s just go through it. It felt so lonely ms, very lonely. I mean
nggak happy, kamu nggak fulfilling your soul needs gitu ya. Tapi I am not happy, that feeling when you are not fulfilling your soul needs.
mungkin seharusnya emang seperti itu. Nggak usah kasih feeling But probably that’s how thing should be. Let’s just be apathetic toward
kemana-mana gitu lo. Itu ya, ya butuh waktu buat ku untuk ‘ya anything. It did take a while for me to finally ‘just let it be, that’s how it
sudahlah mungkin memang harusnya seperti itu gitu’. Nggak tahu. probably should be’. I don’t know. Actually, I also become exhausted
Wong ini aja, aku sebenernya juga capek dengan kegiatanku diluar – with my activities outside campus -the one with Mrs. Yuseva. It is also
yang sama bu Yuseva. Itu tu juga melelahkan. Yang Bandung kemarin exhausting. That time I went to Bandung; right after I got home I felt my
itu tu, aku setelah pulang itu tu rasane langsung drop ngono kae ms. condition dropped. That’s why now I am taking some spaces from ER,
Makanya aku sekarang lagi ambil jarak sama ER sama bu Yuseva Mrs. Yuseva, Mr. Willy and everything else. Currently I’m not close with
sama pak Willy sama semuanya. Aku tu sekarang nggak lagi deket anyone or anything. I mean, I’m not inclined to anywhere. I am now in
sama yang mana-mana. Maksudnya nggak lagi condong kemana- the process of fulfilling myself with my own self. By anime -watching
mana. Gitu. Aku sekarang sedang mengisi diriku dengan diriku anime- or reading anything. You know It feels so tiring ms, to be
sendiri. Sama anime -nontonin anime- baca baca apa gitu. Itu capek- attached to -how to say this- here at UMY is also tiring, outside is also
e ms; attached to –apa ya- yo, kesini –di UMY- juga capek, di luar juga tiring. So, I just want to take some spaces now.
capek. Jadi maksudnya aku ya bikin jarak dulu lah.
Q5.0 Dila So, how do you define a good day at work and a bad day at work? In So, how do you define a good day at work and a bad day at work? In
general. general.
Uke Bad day tu kalau aku tidak merasa produktif. Good day tu kalau Bad day is when I feel not productive. Good day is when [laughing] when
[laughing] kalau –apa namanya- aku kan kadang-kadang anu ms -what is it- so sometimes when my agenda is so full I make a list. So at
kalau aku lagi full gitu ya aku bikin list tu lo. Jadi, in the end of the day the end of the day, when I have all on the list crossed I feel useful. As
kalau aku mau pulang list nya udah kecorek semua tu I feel useful. simple as that. So it’s not the feeling of happy to certain extent. It’s
Yaudah gitu aj sih. Nggak yang happy-happy piye gitu. Cuma ngrasa simply a satisfaction after finishing something, just like that. When
ya pekerjaan selesai, kayak gitu lah. Nggada yang left out. Cuman ya nothing is left out. It’s just that I can’t make the list everyday. When I
bikin list itu aku ngga bisa setiap hari. Tiga hari berturut-turut bikin make the list for three days in a row, I feel that my life is just a matter
list jadi, aku merasa bahwa hidupku itu tu hanya a matter of of crossing the list. Within three days I would become exhausted. Tired.
mencoret-in list. Ya kan. Tiga hari setelah itu akan exhausted. Capek. Because once I wrote a list and I posted it, it then became an obligation.
Karena begitu aku nulis list tak tempel itu tu adalah menjadi It made me do everything in rush. Although I admit that it make
keharusan gitu lo. Itu yang terus semuanya tu ke-susu-susu. everything well-structured -organized. But like I said, it’s tiring. And I go
Walaupun ya, jadi terstruktur emang -jadi organized. Cuman ya tadi without list more often. Because I am the type of person who doesn’t
itu, capek. Gitu. Dan aku lebih banyak yang ngga pakai list. Karena like to be bounded by something [giggling] well, bounded by view things
aku kan orak tipe uwong sing seneng diatur [giggling] ya diatur oleh only. [Me interupting; Aikido’s principles isn’t it?] Well, yeah as you
beberapa hal aja. [me interrupting; Aikodo’s priciples ya?] Ya gitu know. And I am also starting to practice it again.
deh. Dan aku juga lagi mulai kembali untuk kesitu.
Q5.i Dila Owh, kemarin vacuum dulu? Owh, so you’ve been stop practicing?
Uke Loh, aku kan lama. Aku tu begitu masuk The Department, aku tu jadi Yes, it’s been a quite a while. Once I got into The Department, I didn’t
jarang latihan sekarang. [me cutting; owh ya?] loh, udah dua tahun practice as often as I did. [Me cutting; owh ya?] It’s been two years [me
ya [me surprised; owh ya?] loh, aku hampir sebelumnya tiap hari lo surprised; owh ya?] before this, I practiced almost everyday.but, I think
ms. Buat persiapan DAN 1. Hampir setiap hari aku latihan. Tapi, -how to say this- God has arranged everything. When I took my belt test
menurutku –apa yaitu tu wes di atur ama Gusti Allah koyo ngono. -the first brown belt, the second brown belt and the black belt- they all
Aku tu ujian belt yang kedua –sabuk cokelat pertama, sabuk cokelat happened at the perfect time. Every time! So. I don’t know how, but
kedua sama sabuk item- itu tu semua at the perfect time. Semuanya! every time it happened at the perfect time. I can’t imagine if they did’t
Dadi, emboh piye itu tu semua at the perfect time. Aku ngga bayangin happen at those exact time. If back then I didn’t take DAN 1, probably
kalau itu tu tidak terjadi diwaktu itu, gitu. Kalau kemairn aku ngga until now I wouldn’t have the time to do it. And right after DAN 1 was
ngambil DAN 1, aku sampai sekarang nggakan sempet DAN 1. Gitu. finished, I moved to The Department. If I didn’t have my DAN 1 at that
Dan Begitu DAN 1 Selesai Kan Aku Terus Pindah Ke The Department. time, I wouldn’t have done it until now I guess. So right after that I got
Kalau aku waktu itu ngga DAN 1 ha sampai sekarang aku ngga DAN 1 all my agendas packed, so I rarely practiced. So every time people went
kan? jadi habis itu aku langsung, wuih full banget ngono lo, jadi on saying ‘you are now prioritizing work more’ well, just say whatever.
jarang latihan. Jadi kalau orang-orang ‘kamu sekarang lebih I used to be so sad hearing that ms, because people though that I
mentingin kerjaan’ terserah lah kamu bilang apa. Aku tadinya sedih prioritized work more than practicing. I mean, it’s like this, once I told
banget lo ms dikiranya aku mentingin kerjaan daripada latihan. them ‘what can I do? I earn a living from UMY’. So it gave an impression
Maksudnya tu gini, aku tu sempet bilang ‘la gimana? Orang aku tu as if I gain nothing from Aikido, financially. That’s what they thought of
dapet nafkahnya tu dari UMY-e’. jadi kesannya tu kayak aku tu ngga me. It was such a- it really broke my heart. Because one of my friends
dapet apa-apa secara financial dari Aikido. Gitu tu lo. Wehh itu; it also said the same way. She is a friend who took the test together with
broke my heart. Karena ada temenku tu yang ngomong kayak gitu. me. I told this to my Sensei, and he simply replied with ‘hmmmm….’
Itu tu temenku yang sama-sama ujian. Aku crito ma sensei, sensei that’s it. It seems to me that he is thinking the same way too. All these
juga ‘hmmmm…’ kayak gitu. Kayak juga meng-iyakan dia. Ni orang- people misunderstood me. But then I gave it a second thought, well
orang salah pahan gitu lo. Tapi trus tak pikir-pikir, ya mereka kan juga they didn’t really understand it; why should I bother explaining things
ngga ngerti; aku ngapain sih capek-capek njelasin ke mereka? Ya to them? Whatever they think about me, just let them be. They are
mereka mau mikir apa ya terserah lah, gitu. Mereka ngga ngerti never in my shoes. Each time I came to practice they said ‘it’s been a
posisiku seperti apa. Jadi, ya udah. Kalau semisalnya aku datang ‘kok while since the last time I saw you’, ‘owh yes’ that’s how I simply replied.
kamu lama ngga keliatan?’, ‘iya’ udah gitu doank. Kayak gitu. Cuma It’s just that last time I came, that was when I was so tired and -and- I
kan kemarin, ya aku merasa capek dan -dan- emang kayaknya aku thought I really need to practice. The place where there is no judgment
perlu latihan gitu. Tempat yang gada judgment tu ya diatas matras. is on the mat. So I never have to think about many things. Although
Jadi ya, aku ngga usah mikirin yang terlalu banyak hal gitu. Walaupun sometimes it also makes me stressful in some ways. Aikido; right after I
yo sakjane ki yo sok stressful juga sih aku. Aikido; diawal-awal aku got my brown belt [me cutting; please louder ‘ke] black belt [self
habis sabuk cokelat [me cutting; banteran dikit ‘ke] sabuk hitam [self correcting herself] whenever I came for a practice there were so many
correcting herself], itu tu aku latihan banyak judgement dan aku judgements which made me stressful. The time when I wanted to take
stress. Waktu aku mau masuk sabuk hitam itu, aku sempat ngga mau my black belt, there was moment when I became so reluctant to come
latihan. Karena aku ngerasa gagal mulu gitu lo ms. Tapi trus habis itu for a practice. Because I always fail, ms. But then after a while -how to
–apa ya- kenapa gitu, trus aku mikirnya itu tidak ada hubungannya say this- I thought ‘so what?’ I think how I practice has nothing to do
antara how I practice Aikido dengan how I am. Gitu lo. Aikido is a with how I am. Aikido is a matter of practice. Period. That’s where I can
matter of practice, gitu. Thok, gitu. Nek itu nanti yang bisa dipakai take the benefit from for my life. I mean to deal with thing. So there is
buat –buatku- untuk hidup gitu lo. Maksudnya untuk deal with think nothing to do between what you are now and how you perceive Aikido.
gitu. Jadi nggada hubungannya ke- sekarang itu antara kamu tu Both have nothing to do with each other. I found out that to think the
sekarang seperti apa kemudian kamu perceive Aikido jadi seperti other way is not a good thing to do. If I do, both of them will become
apa. Itu tu tidak berhubungan gitu lo. Apa ya, karen itu tu ternyata low instead. So I would feel uncomfortable with the two. Now I’m
ngga bagus gitu. Dua-duanya jadi low semua. Jadi ngrasa ngg enak thingking this way –when you are practicing- so, when you can fall with
semua. Saikki yo –kowe latihan ki yo- dadi, kamu -kalau kamu- bisa a good strategy only when you have understood the technique well. Not
jatuh dengan baik itu tu karena kamu tau tekniknya. Bukan karena for any other reason. So now, what are you learning from that? When
kamu kenapa-napa, gitu lo. Nah, sekarang kamu belajarnya apa? you fall, you have to get back on your feet. That’s what I then have to –
Kalau kamu jatuh kamu harus bangun. Nah, itu yang kemudian harus how to call this- I’m feeling like I learn that on the mat –that’s how I
aku –njok, opo yo- aku rasane ki itu kan kamu belajar itu tu di atas learn it. When I fall, I get back up; when you fall you need to know the
matras tu kan -belajar itu tu. Kalau jatuh tu bangun; kalau kamu mau technique. Now, if you want to finish what you’ve been doing, you also
jatuh harus tau tekniknya. Sekarang kamu kalau kerja mau selesai ya need to know the technique. That’s how I take it. Now I reserve the
harus tau tekniknya, gitu. Seperti apa, gitu. Dadi diwalik ngono lo ms, whole thing from my previouse belief. Before this, I mixed everything
nek wingi kan sok mix gitu ya. Aku gagal diatas matras itu aku akan together. When I fail on the matras, I would feel that I fail the whole
merasa gagal the whole life. Kayak gitu. [me commenting; dalem life. It used to be like that. [Me commenting; such a profound thought
banget sih?] iya-e. Itu gara-gara; ya gara-gara yang dulu itu kan [both you have]. Yes, I think so. That’s because; I think it’s because ‘that’ event
giggling] trus aku kan hidup kembali juga gara-gara itu kan. Jadi in the past [both giggling], and then I got back with my life also because
semuanya tu mix gitu lo ms. Trus sekarang kalau seumpama aku of that. So everything got mix together. And now, when I fail on
gagal; ‘ok aku gagal. Sek saikki carane piye?’ sekarang aku kalau something; ‘ok I fail. So how to do it differently now?’ now every time I
latihan gitu. Jadi kalau aku gagal -aku ngga bisa-bisa gitu- aku am practicing that’s what I always have in mind. So, each time I fail –I
langsung nanya ke Sensei; ‘sensei, ni harusnya ini kakinya seperti couldn’t do anything right- I would directly ask my Sensei; ‘Sensei, what
apa? Sudutnya bagaimana? le mbelok piye? Cara-ne piye?’ ngono lo. should I do with my feet?’ How should I put them? How can I make the
Jadi, sudah lebih banyak ke teknik, ngga yang terus kepikiran; ‘atau turn? How can I do that?’ So, now I think more about the technique
aku sebenarnya kayak gni ya, harus gini ya’ kalau dulu kan masih yang instead of becoming so emotional about it; ‘or is it actualy me who don’t
kayak gitu –gitu ya. Walaupun memang aku masih percaya kalau do well, should I do it this way or that way’ I used to think that way.
kamu diatas matras itu, itu reflects who you are. Itu masih iya. Karena Although, I do still believe that how you are when on the mat, reflects
ngga bisa dibohongin ms kayak gitu tu. Kayak seumpamane kowe ki who you are. I still believe it though. Because we can’t lie about such
grusa-grusu ya, teknik mu ki yo mesti grusa-grusu. [me interrupting; thing, ms. Say for example, if you are the type of careless person, your
owh ya?] iya banget. Kalau kamu cerdik tu ya, teknikmu tu simple. technique would also be so careless. [Me interrupting; owh ya?]Yess,
Iya! Itu tu kelihatan og. Itu tu kan ya ngefek to ms. Wong olahraga itu indeed. If you are smart, your technique will be simple. Yes! It is seen
tu butuh kecerdasan otak dan kecerdasan emosi og. Tenan, itu masih on the matrass. It is definitely affecting your technique in ways. Sport
ngefek, cuman terus aku tidak –tidak apaya- ngga nyampurin lagi gitu requires both brain and emotional intelligence. Seriousely it is, is that
lo. Kalaupun nyampur-nyampur tu ngga sebanyak yang dulu. Gitu. now I am not –how to say this- not really get them mixed to the same
Jadi udah tak sendiri-sendiri in gitu. Sekarang aku tu pengen lagi degree as how I used to do. Now I’m separating them. And now I want
mbalik kesitu. Dan masih belum bisa, bayangkan. Aku tu, seragamku to return to that old me. But I couldn’t make it yet. Can you imagine
udah tak setrika dan tak taruh di atas kasur seragamku tu. Yang kalau that? So I -I have the uniform ironed and layed on my bed. But, I could
aku pulang, langsung bisa ambil gitu. Ha ngga bisa pulang og, njut go home to take it, what can I do then? [laughing] I felt so sad.
piye? [laughing] kan sedih ya. Gitu.
Q5.ii Dila Mungkin ngga kamu ngerasa; kan kamu ngerasa berat banget disitu. Is it possible that you feel; it is so hard for you right. I mean, people who
I mean, sebagai orang yang kenal kamu tu pasti tau passion-mu tu at know you must have noticed that you have at least two passions; Aikido
least ada dua; Aikido ama reading gitu kan. Nah, trus kan tadi kamu and reading aren’t they? And then you said that –since you were there-
bilang selama –semenjak- itu ya tidak off mungkin ya, tidak total, tapi well, probably not completely off but the frequency of you practicing
jauh lebih berkurang ke Aikido-nya. Gitu. Mungkin ngga di situ kamu Aikido decreased significantly. Is it possible that you become so overly
kayak overly irritated atau annoyed by people itu karena kamu irritated or annoyed by people because you have lost one of your
kehilangan satu ini gitu. passion?
Uke Iya! Karena kan di Aikido tu -mungkin bukan hanya di Aikido ms- Yes! Because in Aikido –probably not only in Aikido, ms- when you learn
kalau kamu belajar arts, martial arts, itu tu kan sebenarnya yang arts, martial arts, you are actually fighting with your self. So, it’s like –
kamu lawan itu kan dirimu sendiri terus. Gitu lo. Jadi tu kayak –kayak it’s like [pausing, looking up to find words]. It’s like when you have just
gimana ya- [pausing, looking up to find words] kamu habis belajar studied a language but you never practiced it, you’ll forget. That’s the
bahasa, gak pernah kamu pake. Kan lupa. Ya sama. Apa yang di train same case. What has been trained in Aikido, would also be forgotten.
di Aikido itu, ya mesti lupa. Kayak gitu lo ms. Kan lupa caranya untuk That’s how it is, ms. I forget how to calm down, forget how to take
calm down, lupa caranya untuk sante wae to, gitu lo. Lupa caranya things easy, stuff like that. Forget that if I want to be versatile I should
untuk, mingset-e ki carane kayak gini lo. Gitu lo. Malah jadi lupa, do this and that. So I forget all of those things, because I am no longer
karena ngga ke-train. Walaupun itu sulit ya dapetnya di Aikido. Itu tu trained for that. Although I realize that those are not easy to achieve in
ngga yang … [unfinished] Nek semisal ra percoyo ya hal-hal yang Aikido. It is not like … [unfinished] in case you don’t believe it, well it’s
seperti itu tu kamu dapat kalau kamu dapat guru yang benar. because you will gain such things only if you found the right teacher. I
Maksudnya guru yang tepat untuk ngajarin hal yang seperti itu. Atau mean the right teacher who can teach you those kind of things. Or if you
kamu adalah murid yang cukup cerdas untuk mendapatkanyya, gitu are that kind of smart students to understand them yourself. When
lo. Ya gurumu ngasih A bisa ngga kamu dapet A? bisa nnga your teacher gives you A, can you comprehend it as A? Are you aware
ngelihatnya, gitu lo. Kadang-kadang kayak gitu. Tapi kan aku dapet of it, that sort of thing. Sometimes, things are like that. But you know,
guru yang alhamndulillah pas. Yang itu tu jarang –jarang- ketemu thank God I found a great teacher. Which is so rarely to happen. So, with
juga. Nah, disini tapi aku bisa belajar tekniknya, kayak gitu lah ms. this teacher I could learn those technoques. Aikido is that complicated
Aikido tu se-complicated itu buat aku. [laughing] to me. [laughing]
Q5.iii Dila Jdi, kamu positif ngga? I mean, kamu kan sekarang udah mau balik So, are you psositive right now? I mean, now you are on your way back
lagi juga ke Aikido gitu. Will you find peace at work eventually? to Aikido. Will you find peace at work eventually?
Uke [hesitating] emmm, at least aku ngga so much consumed. Gitu. Jadi, [Hesitating] emmm, at least I’m no longer so much consumed. So, that’s
karena kemudian waktu yang kuhabiskan tidak sebanyak itu kan because the time I spent on drowingn myself on work would not be so
untuk mikirin kerjaan, gitu. Soalnya kalau aku sudah diatas matras – much as how it used to be. Because when I have been on the mat –at
paling ngga ya- dua jam aja, itu aku ngga mikirin kerjaan. Mungkin least- for two hours, I would not think about work. I would probably get
aku akan get stresfull pada saat aku latihan, api itukan stress yang so stressfull during my practice, but that kind of stress is different.
berbeda. Gitu lo. Kalau diatas matras itu, kalau ngga bisa tekniknya When I’m on the mat the thing that get me stressed is wen I don’t know
stress juga. the technique to certain movement.
Q5.iv Dila Apa sih Aikido tu untukmu tu? What is Aikido for you?
Uke Well, it’s part of my life-e. Aku nggak ngerti ya. Yo, lebay sih [nodding Well, it’s part of my life. I don’t really know. Well, it will seem like I’m
while smirking] Tapi ya gimana ya [me interrupting; kamu bilang exaggerating [nodding while smirking] but how else can I say [me
sendiri lo ya?] Iya! Tapi kalau –apa ya- yang ngerti tu kalau yang; itu interrupting; to be noted, you said that yourself] yes, I did. But people
lo ms. Kalau semisal ada orang yang suka sama drama Korea gitu ya; will understand if; when someone is so into Korean drama; who love all
seneng yang Korea-Korea gitu lo. Apa sih kok kamu seneng sama things about Korea, whay do they love Korea so much? It will be difficult
Korea-Korea? Gimana yang mau njelasin coba? [me quickly to explain. [me quickly responding; Well, because the actor is good
responding; Ya cakep pemainnya, apa kek] Sensei ku juga cakep! looking for example] My Sensei is also good looking! [laughing] [Me
[laughing] [me teasing her; yang ‘itu’ maksudnya?] Bukan! Sensei-ku teasing her; that ‘one’ you mean?] No! My sensei is also good looking.
juga cakep. [disturbed by an occurrence event] [disturbed by an occurrence event]
Q5.v Dila A. Aikodo, B. Extensive Reading. [confirming; apanya?] chose! If you A. Aikido, B. Extensive Reading. [Confirming; what is this about?] Chose!
have to. If you have to.
Uke Yo dua-dua nya lah, ngga bisa aku. Aikido itu menurutku dia Well, both of them of course; I can’t chose only one. Aikido, in my
membantuku membangun karakter. Gitu. Kalau Extensive Reading opinion, helps building my character. While Extensive Reading is – not
itu –buka Extensive Reading ya, membaca kalau sekarang ya- Extensive Reading but reading- is my way to escape. I never like to
membaca itu tu adalah caraku untuk escape. Males kan ngelihat watch the real drama, asssshhhhh [gesturing with her hands]. Better to
drama yang beneran gitu, asshhhhh [gesturing with her hands]. read this one [laughing]. Sometimes I got so tired of thinking about my
Moco sing iki wae [laughing]. Kadang-kadang aku tu; aduh aku self. Why did I encounter such problem; when I did this I have this
mikirin diriku sendiri aja capek gitu ya ms ya; kok aku kepentok ini, problem, when I did that I had that problem. Let see other people who
kayak gini kepentok, begini kepentok. Ayo kita lihat orang-orang lain also have similar problems in the story [giggling]. I don’t have to think
yang kepentok di dalam cerita, gitu [giggling]. Aku ngga harus mikirin about my own problem all the times. And then I like reading story about
tentang masalahku sendiri terus. Terus aku suka baca anak-anak tu kinds because I think the drama is so pure. Just like, emmm… -how to
ya itu; menurutku drama nya tu pure gitu lo. Kayak, emmm apa ya say thins- [pausing a while formulating thoughts], the one about
[pausing a while formulating thoughts] yang -yang tentang Cosmos Cosmos; the story about a kid who loves building rocket. The story is
itu; yang anaknya seneng bikin rocket itu. Dia se-simple itu untuk – that simple to –what is it- he doesn’t understand that his mother is
apa namanya- dia ngga ngerti bahwa ibunya kena dementia. tapi dia suffering from dementia. But still he cares so much about her mother.
tetep care sama ibunya. Sudut pandangnya itu tu pure banget gitu His point of view is so pure; ‘I don’t judge my mother as a person with
lo; ‘aku ngga nge-judge ibuku kena dementia’. Sampai –bahkan- dia dementia’. Even until when he knows that she is suffering from
tau bahwa penyakitnya kayak gitu itu, dia tetep care sama ibunya. dementia, he still gives so much care on her. He still thinks that ‘I am a
Tetep ‘aku adalah orang yang harus bertanggung jawab untuk person who should take responsibility over my mother’s happiness’.
kebahagiaan ibuku’ gitu. Ya hal-hal yang sederhana. Jadi aku kalau Simple things like that. So sometimes when I read those kind of stories,
kadang ngeliat hal-hal itu tu ya, kayak … [unfinished]. Sudut I feel like … [unfinished]. The point of view is so pure like children. Well,
pandangnya tu kayak anak-anak kan; yang ‘apa-e?’ kayak gitu gitu tu of course it has its plus and minus. I don’t like to read … [unfinished]
lo. Ya ada –ada- plus minus nya lah. Aku ngga seneng kalau baca-baca there is a book by J.K. Rowling which I thought I would finish reading
yang … [unfinished] Ada bukunya J.K. Rawling yang aku pikir aku akan but I haven’t even until now. The one after Harry Potter. Something
kuselesaikan dan sampai sekarang ngga pernah selesai. Habis Harry about marriage. I think since its early pages, the story is so complicated
Potter tu lo. Apa sih, tentang marriage kayak gitu. Menurutku dari [laughing]. I think something about inter countires marriage; ‘what is
halaman awal-awal udah complicated [lauging], kayak gitu. Kayaknya this about? I don’t get it’. When I wact movie, I also watched movies
marriage inter negara gitu lo; ‘wah, apa? ngga paham aku’. Nonton about kid; Bumble Bee, Wreck it alf, Hoe to train your dragon; those
juga yang tak tonton film anak-anak; Bumble Bee, Wreck it Ralf, How kind of movies, ms. Searching … [unfinished] the movie about missing
to Train Your Dragon, ya kayak gitu-tu ms. Searching … [unfinished] child.
itu kan nyari anaknya yang hilang.
Q5.vi Dila Dan kamu juga ngga tahu ya? Kenapa kamu at first time tertarik ke And don’t you know why at first you are interested to children? Besides
anak-anak gitu ya, selain drama-dramanya. on the drama aspect.
Uke Ngga tau aku juga. La aku nonton, baca awal Bobo. [laughing]. [me I don’t really know. Well, what I first read is Bobo [laughing]. [Me
interrupting; Well ya at your age] owh iya sih. Ngga tau ya. Mungkin interrupting; Well ya at your age] well, yeah. I think so. Probably I just
aku ngga suka kalau kena baper-baper an gitu. [me; giggling] karena hate it when I got so emotional. [Me; giggling] because I will end up
nanti aku jadi baper-baper ngono kae. kan sebenere I’m being being so emotional. Actually, I’m being furnerable of being emotional
furnerable of being baper and I didn’t like it karena I feel I’m weak and I didn’t like it because I feel I’m weak. I don’t like to be weak.
gitu kan. I don’t like to be weak. Gitu.
Dila Alrigh then, thank you so much ‘ke. Alrigh then, thank you so much ‘ke.
Q6.0 Dila Baik, terima kasih Bu Uke. Mungkin untuk beberapa kan kemarin Alright, Thank you Ms. Uke. So, maybe you had informed me some of the
sudah disampaikan, tapi untuk kali ini nanti mungkin ada beberapa things, but for this time I would probably ask you to clarify several things.
yang diklarifikasi. Tapi pertama bisa diceritakan awal mulanya join But before that, can you first tell me how you initially joined IERA?
atau bergabung dengan IERA seperti apa?
Uke Ikut IERA itu soalnya karena tahun 2017, saat itu ikut Extensive How I finally joined IERA was started on 2017 shen I was attending Extensive
Reading World Congress yang di Jepang. Saat itu ketemu dengan Reading World Congress in Japan. At that time I met someone who turns
seseorang yang ternyata ketuanya IERA. Aku awalnya tidak kenal out to be the chair of IEARA. I dint know who Bu Yuseva was, it was only
dengan Ibu Yuseva, cuma awalnya pas mau berangkat aku dapat when I was preparing myself to go to Japan I received an information –I
kabar -dari siapa aku lupa- kalau besok akan ada yang dari Jogja juga, forgot from whom- that there will e another person flying from Yogyakarta;
Bu Yuseva. Terus aku kontak-kontakan, eh ketemu di bandara. Bu Yuseva. And so I contacted her, and met at the airport. So we both depart
Kemudian kami berangkat bareng cuma different flight karena Bu from Yogyakarta but in different flight because Bu Yuseva received a
Yuseva dapat scholarship-nya dari ERF. Jadi ERF itu yang foundation scholarship from ERF. So ERF is the foundation which held the congress;
nya, yang mengadakan ERWC nya itu. Bu Yuseva kan dapat ERWC. So, she received the scholarship and off she went for it. I depart later
scholarship kemudian berangkat. Terus habis itu aku berangkat, and met again there. I still had no clue about IERA, I know nothing about it.
terus ketemu kan di sana. Aku masih gak ngerti tentang IERA, belum Or, have I? I’m sorry I kind of forgot. The bottomline is that, I had no idea
tau. Atau udah tau ya? Aku lupa. Pokoknya waktu itu aku belum who Bu Yuseva is at that time. It was my first meeting with her. And then
kenal sama Bu Yuseva. My first meeting ya waktu disitu. Terus habis after that –I forget- whether I joined Pak Willy’s workshop first or not,
itu -aku lupa- apa ikut workshop-nya Pak Willy dulu soalnya dulu because IERA had once conducted a workshop inviting Pak Willy as the
IERA itu pernah menyelenggarakan Workshop Extensive Reading speaker. At that time, I still haven’t met Bu Yuseva. And there was
dengan pembicaranya itu Pak Willy. Waktu itu aku juga belum kenal announcement made by Pak Willy informing us about the ERWC, I kind of
dengan Bu Yuseva, gak ngeh. Terus ada pengumuman dari Pak Willy forget.
kalau ada ERWC itu kali ya, aku lupa.
Q6.i Dila Jadi sebelum berangkat ke Jepang itu belum kenal Bu Yuseva, tapi So before flying to Japan, you had not met Bu yuseva, and you just met her
kemudian di sana baru ketemu? Jadi berangkatnya pun belum tau once you were there? So, even when you were departing from Jogja you
kalau dari Jogja yang lain akan ikut ke sana? ketemunya baru di sana? didn’t know that someone else would also fly from Jogja? You met her for
the first time there?
Uke Udah, udah tau. Udah tau kalau dari Jogja itu akan ada yang juga mau I had, I had known her by then. I was informed that there will be another
berangkat ke sana. Terus aku dapat kontaknya Bu Yuseva kan, terus one flying from Jogja. And so I was given Bu Yuseva’s number, and so we
janjian ketemu di bandara, cuma ya different flight. [me cutting; planned to meet at the airport but in different flight. [me cutting; airport
Bandara sini apa sana?] Bandara sini. Tapi aku belum ngeh Bu here or there?] Airport here (referring to Jogja0. But I had no clue who Bu
Yuseva itu siapa. Aku cuma tau kalau Bu Yuseva dapat scholarship Yuseva was. All I know was that she received scholarship, and so she joined
waktu itu, terus ikut kongres nya itu kan. Terus habis itu aku diajakin the congress. And then Bu Yuseva asked me to join here somewhere –I
ke mana ya sama Bu Yuseva -lupa aku. Kayaknya 2017, terus, habis forget. I think it was 2017, and because we are both Indonesian whose base
itu karna mungkin sama-sama orang Indonesia gitu ya, terus habis itu
karna sama-sama base nya di sini, terus habis itu aku diajakin apa ya is here, she asked me join –wait I forget- as I remember she told me
sama Bu Yuseva, aku lupa. Seingetku itu cuma “Bu, ayo ikut “Common Bu, join the roadshow”.
roadshow”.
Q6.ii Dila Tapi kan untuk ikut roadshow itu kan kamu sudah menjadi But to join the roadshow, you must have first become the official member
membernya resminya IERA? of IERA, right?
Uke Membership-nya IERA itu gak ada member yang kamu daftar apa- IERA’s membership is unlike a member who must do some sort of
apa itu gak ada. [me responding; Oh begitu] Cuman kayak ada regristaration process. [Me responding; I see]. There simply a facebook
facebooknya kan jadi kamu itu join di facebooknya udah gitu tok. page for that, so I join the facebook group. That’s it.
Q6.iii Dila Jadi semisal, jadi waktu kamu tau ada facebooknya IERA itu, So, when you kbew there was the facebok page for IERA, you simply liked
fanpagenya IERA kamu nge-like? the fanpage?
Uke Enggak, masuk kayak grup kaya teacher’s voice. [me clarifying; Itu No, it’s more of like a teacher’s voice. [Me clarifying; was it based on
kayak invitation atau open?] Itu close, jadi dimasukkin. [me; Berarti invitation or open page?] It’s closed, so someone has to let me in. [me;
harus ada yang meng-invite?] Iya. [me; Lalu yang meng-invite siapa?] meaning that someone invited you? Yes. [Me; so who invited you?] Bu
Bu Yuseva. [me; Oh Bu Yuseva]. Oiya aku lupa, kegiatan pertama Yuseva. [Me; Bu Yuseva]. Owh ya, I forgot what the first agenda was. As I
apa ya. Kayaknya waktu itu kan IERA sudah punya grup sendiri gitu remembered, by that time IERA had had its won group, so they had met
kan terus mereka itu kayaknya udah sempet ketemu-ketemu cuman each other and I was not yet part of them; and so I didn’t know the activity
waktu itu aku kan belum ikut, dan aku gak ngerti kegiatan nya apa. they did. I really participated in the agenda was during the roadshow, the
Aku kayaknya yang bener-bener terus ikut itu waktu roadshow yang first one. [Me cutting; the one in Bandung?] The first roadshow was in Jogja.
pertama itu. [me cutting; Di Bandung itu ya?] Roadshow-nya itu di The first roadshow was held during JETA conference, so I participated in
Jogja dulu. Waktu yang roadshow pertama itu waktu JETA, jadi ikut
JETA first. So from Jogja, Solo, Salatiga, Jakarta; for a week.
JETA dulu. Jadi Jogja, Solo, Salatiga, Jakarta, seminggu.
Q6.iv Dila Waktu yang itu kan kamu ikut baru sebagai peserta bukan sebagai You were there as participant, not yet as a presenter, were you?
presenter toh?
Uke Itu aku sebagai presenter dadakan. Jadi itu bentuknya kayak, jadi I became an impromptu presenter. So it was like, things like ‘if you need an
kalau seumpamanya ‘mau contoh yang Extensive Reading di Non- example of implementing Extensive Reading in Non-English Major, Bu Uke
English Major itu Bu Uke sudah melakukan, apa Bu,’, terus nanti aku has done it. How is it like, Bu?’, and so I jumped in.
jump in.
Q6.v Dila Jadi diluar agenda sebenarnya ya, maksudnya tidak diagendakan So it was not part of the actual agenda actually, I mean not specifically
secara khusus untuk sharing session itu tapi impromptu aja ya, scheduled as sharing session but more like an impromptu session,
spontaneous impromptu aja. spontaneous impromptu.
Uke Nah setelah itu kemudian yang ke Bandung itu yang ke UPI. Itu aku After that, we went to Bandung, the one at UPI. I was there with Bu Yuseva.
sama Bu Yuseva. Jadi workshop untuk English teacher for Non So it was a workshop for English teacher for Non-English Department.
English Department.
Q6.vi Dila Waktu pas ikut roadshow yang di Jogja, Solo, Salatiga itu, itu kan The time when you joined the workshop in Jogja, Solo, Salatiga; that was
berarti masih awal-awal bergabung di fanpagenya, di invite during your initial moments joining the fanpage right? You were invited and
kemudian kamu diajak ayo ikut sana sini? asked to come along with the roadshow?
Uke Kayakynya sudah beberapa waktu aku ada di fanpagenya itu, miss. I think it had been a little while since I joined the fanpage, miss. It is not a
Bukan fanpage sih ya, itu memang grup kok. [me clarifying; Oh jadi fanpage actually, it is a group. [Me clarifying; Owh, it’s a group I see, IERA
grupnya oke, grup IERA yang di facebooknya itu?] Iya. Dan itu kan facebook group, am I right?] Yes. And it is all about sharing. Say for example,
isinya sharing-sharing gitu lho Miss, jadi semisalnya aku, aku di I shared what I did in my class. And then when I received the books from
kelas itu ngapain aku share. Aku terus dapat, oh awal itu aku dapat Japan, the one I told you before. [Me; the ones from Jaan?] Yes, books from
buku itu lho Miss. [me; Dari jepang kan?] Iya yang dari Jepang itu. Japan. Once I received the books from Japan, I shared “The books had just
Waktu aku dapat buku yang dari Jepang itu kan terus aku share-share, arrived. Some are now borrowed by students” I share things like that.
“eh bukunya datang, oh ini bukunya dibawa mahasiswa” aku itu
share- share gitu.
Q6.vii Dila Oh awalnya kontribusi kamu digrup itu sharing-sharing gitu? Sharing So your initial contribution for the group was sharing your experience?
pengalamanmu menggunakan buku yang kamu dapat dari Jepang. Sharing your experiences using the books you received from Japan. Ans so
Kemudian karena keaktifanmu, kamu diajak kesana kemari gitu? was it because of your active participation in the group that you were
invited to join the roadshow?
Uke Nah kalau itu aku gak tau kenapa. Aku tidak tau kenapanya tapi That I don’t know. I don’t know why. But it was on October – November
waktu itu kayaknya Oktober - November “Ayo Bu ikut“gitu kan. “Comon, join us Bu” they asked me. Actually I first just intended to attend
Tadinya itu aku cuman mau ikut yang di Jogja sama Solo, Miss. Eh the one in Jogja and Solo, mss. Ehh Jogja, Solo, and Salatiga; and then after
Jogja, Solo, terus ke Salatiga, terus habis itu kan ke Jakarta. Di Jakarta that the roadswhow continued to Jakarta. There were two venues in
nya itu ada dua venue, jadi satu venue satu hari gitu. Nah, karena aku Jakarta, one venue one day. SO, because I was initially invited to join only
cuman diajak sampai Salatiga jadi aku gak nyiapin apa-apa gitu kan. until the one in Salatiga, I didn’t make any preparation. Once I arrived at
Waktu udah sampai salatiganya itu terus ditanyain, “Besok kamu Salatiga I was asked “Will ou join us tomorrow, Ke?”, “Owh, no. I don’t pack
ikut gak Ke?” “Oh aku gak ikut, aku gak bawa pakaian ganti”. Habis any change”. And they went on like “Why don’t you join us”, including Pak
itu “Udah ikut aja sekalian” kayak gitu, Terus Pak Willy juga kan. Willy also asked me to join it.
Q6.viii Dila On the spot diajaknya? You were invited to join on the spot?
Uke Yang untuk ke Jakarta? Iya. Karena plan-nya itu aku cuma sampai The one in Jakarta? Yes. Because the plan was me joining the roadshow until
Salatiga aja. Terus habis itu Pak Willy juga bilang “Ah kamu itu tidak the one in Salatiga. And after that Pak Willy also said “You will not get
akan dapat ini di tempat-tempat lain, sudah ikut aja” “Gak bawa something like this anywhere else, just tag along with us”, “I don’t bring
pakaian ganti pak” “Alah gampang” gitu gitu. Bu Anita juga, Bu Anita anything to change Sir”, “that’s easy. Should not be a problem”. Bu Anita
kan sebenarnya… [me cutting; Bu Anita UNY?] Bu Anita UKSW. Jadi also asked me to. Bu Anita was actually … [me cutting; Bu Anita from UNY?]
kami waktu di Salatiga kan di UKSW to Bu Anita juga diajakin “Ayo- Bu Anita UKSW. So, when we were in Salatiga at UKSW, Bu Anita was also
ayo bu! Ayo ikut ke Jakarta” “Aduh aku tu nanti harus izin ke prodiku” asked to join the tour “Come on, Bu! Join us to Jakarta”, “I need to ask
Dia gak mau gitu kan. Terus akhirnya kami semua berangkat. Nah permittion to my prodi”, so she refused. But then eventually all of use were
cuman Bu Anita langsung kan, jadi langsung beli tiket, aku juga coming. But Bu Anita joined them directly from Salatiga, she bought the
langsung beli tiket, baru berangkat ke Jakarta. Tapi aku balik dulu ke ticket directly, and so I did –so all of us went to Jakrta. But I returned to
Jogja, ngambil baju ganti. Jadi Bu Yuseva, Prof. Waring, sama Pak Jogja first, took some clothes for a change. So, Bu Yuseva, Prof. Wring, and
Willy itu mereka gak ada break-nya. Jadi setiap hari itu presentasi. Pak Willy had no break. Everyday they had presentation. Bu Anita had her
Kalau Bu Anita mulainya dari UKSW, terus hari pertama di Jakarta initial presentation at UKSW, and on the first day of Jakarta. I missed this
ikut, hari kedua di Jakarta ikut. Nah aku missed hari pertama yang di first event because I was going back home to Jogja first. So they departed
Jakarta karena aku pulang ke Jogja. Jadi mereka berangkat ke Jakarta to Jakrta while I went back to Jogja to take some changes; and right after
aku balik ke Jogja ambil pakaian ganti setelah itu baru berangkat ke that I went to Jakarta. And the last one was ar Atmajaya. At Atmajaya we
Jakarta. Terus terakhir di Atmajaya. Di Atmajaya itu ternyata received an extra ordinary enthusiasm, they felt so happy to have the
antusiasme nya sangat luar biasa, mereka seneng banget gitu lho agenda. [Me clarifying; Atmajaya Jogja, right?] No, Atmajaya Jakarta. We
miss. [me clarifying; Atmajaya Jogja kan?] Bukan, Amajaya Jakarta. had three venues in Jakarta, UIN Jakarta, and then catholic school of –
Di Jakarta itu tiga tempat, jadi di UIN Jakarta, terus sekolah katholik something, I forgot the name; which I joined both. The only one I missed to
itu apa namanya aku lupa, itu aku ikut yang disitu. Aku pokoknya join was the one at UIN. And then the last one was at Atmajaya. They said
miss cuma yang di UIN tok. Sama yang terakhir di Atmajaya. Katanya that the one held at UIN was also great because those sho attended were
yang di UIN itu juga bagus karena yang datang itu guru-guru kan, teachers, so they showed high enthusiasm. And the interaction was also
mereka itu antusias gitu lho. Terus interaksinya itu bagus. Kalau yang good. While the one at the catholic school was attended by college
di sekolah katholik itu kayaknya yang banyak itu mahasiswa, jadi kita students, so we gave more of introductions to ER. The one at Atmajaya was
lebih banyak pengenalan-pengenalan. Kalau di Atma itu praktisi- attended by practicioners and lecturers. There were many participations
praktisi terus dosen-dosen. Itu banyak yang ikut dan interaksinya and their interaction was also great.
bagus.
Q7.0 Dila Cerita ulang saat kamu ke Jepang itu kan sebelum kelas yang aku Please retell me once again, you went to Japan before having the class that
observe. [Uke responding; Huum] Kemudian habis itu kan kamu I observed. [Uke responding; Huum] and so after that you shared the book
share bukunya di kelasmu yang sebelumya, sebelum aku observe? in your previous class, the one that I didn’t observe. [Uke clarifying; year of
[Uke clarifying; Tahun 2017] Yang tahun pertama? [Uke; huum] Nah 2017] the first year? [Uke; Huum] So, when you after that when you started
kemudian setelah itu saat kamu menyusun silabus untuk kelas yang to design your syllabus for the class I observed – [Uke; 2018], on 2018, you
aku observe - [Uke; 2018] Saat 2018, itu kan berarti kamu sudah had joined IERA, right? [Uke; yes, I had]. So, during the designing process or
tergabung di IERA? [Uke; sudah] Nah itu apakah dalam penyusunan other things related to it such as the activity or other things you then consult
ini, penyusunan silabusnya atau apa-apanya atau activity-nya itu or simply share or ask them about it?
kemudian kamu mengkonsultasikan atau sekedar berbagi dan
bertanya?
Uke Share cuman gak ke Bu Yuseva. Aku share-nya ke Evi malahan waktu I did share it, but not to Bu Yuseva. I shared it to Evi instead during the initial
awal-awal itu. Sebelum aku bikin yang 2018, itu kan aku sudah process. Before I made the syllabus for 2018 class. So I had had an
ngalamin yang 2017 itu dan sebenernya aku tidak mau ngajarin experience when I had the class on 2017, and I indeed didn’t want to teach
grammar. Nah karena aku ikut roadshow itu. Sebenarnya kan aku grammar. Therefore, I joined the roadshow. I always knew that I never
sudah ngerasa bahwa aku aku itu ga mau ngajarin grammar. Terus wanted to teach grammar. And during the first roadshow, we were talking
waktu Roadshow yang pertama, obrol-obrolan di mobil. “Ya ngak inside the car about “That would be fine. For any course, it would be fine”
apa-apa, mata kuliah apa aja itu gak apa-apa” Pak Willy bilang begitu, Pak Willy said so, “The most important thing is that you implement part of
“yang penting itu tetap ada part of, ada ER nya gitu.” Terus waktu ER in the course”. And so while having the conversation, inside of my head,
ngobrol, terus dikepalaku itu mungkin, yaudah namanya tetep I kept thinking that it’s okay to have Grammar class. But still, I would
grammar ya, tidak apa-apa tapi nanti isinya tak kasih Extensive implement Extensive Reading. That’s what I’ve been meaning to do. And
Reading, maksudku tu gitu dan ternyata dengan kalimat yang luckily, Pak Willy also has the same idea. Only that he puts it in different
berbeda Pak Willy juga bilang seperti itu; “Gapapa kayak gitu”. words; “it’s okay to do that”. So, at last. Before that, I simply shared my
Yaudah terus akhirnya. Sebelumnya kan aku baru share-share ide ideas to Evi, [me clarifying; Bu Evi is also a member of IERA?] yes. And so
sama Evi gitu kan, [me clarifying; Bu Evi itu juga member IERA?] after that I joined the roadshow and turns out that even the expert said so,
Iya. Terus habis itu kita ikut roadshow oh ternyata sama pakarnya we and I felt like being legitimized. And after that, I tried it out. But I didn’t
ngomongnya ngono jadi kan aku merasa terlegitimasi. Habis itu terus make all the details by myself. I just searched for ideas, and discussed it with
nyobain itu. Cuman kalau yang untuk aku bikin sampai detail- some one. I didn’t go like consulting the syllabus directly. I also took some
detailnya itu kayaknya aku gak sendiri deh. Cuman apa ya kayak cari of the basics from –what books- I kind of forget. The one telling about how
ide apa gitu, nanti aku ngobrol sama siapa, cuman yang gak terus grammar should be like; Betty Azar I guess. So the book covers so many
silabusnya aku konsultasiin langsung. Sama aku ngambil, base-nya grammars, right? I only got some little parts of it. So, because the KPT
dari apa ya, kayaknya itu aku baca-baca buku apa itu aku lupa. Yang (Higher Education Curriculum) ask the students of The Department to
itu kalau grammar itu ya isinya gini, kayaknya Betty Azar apa ya kan understand the rules of tenses. One is tenses rules, second is able to make
sentences with neagtion and also interogative sentence. And I thought,
banyak banget tho, terus habis itu cuma tak ambilin sedikit-sedikit.
teaching those for one semester is meaningless. But, well, I couldn’t do
Nah karena di KPT nya itu mintanya adalah anak [The Department]
anything because the KPT had stated so. So I made the syllabus the way you
itu bisa kaidah tenses. Satu kaidah tenses, yang kedua bisa membuat saw it yourself.
kalimat negasi dan pertanyaan. Nah satu semester ngajar gitu ya
buat apa. Tapi ya aku gak bisa ngapa-ngapain karena di KPT nya
bilang seperti itu. Makanya ya terus tak bikin seperti silabusnya yang
miss juga sudah tau itu.
Q7.i Dila Jadi to clarify, disilabusmu itu kan kamu menekankan tenses-tenses So, to clarify, in your syllabus you emphasize tenses, the tenses taken from
gitu ya, lebih ke tenses nya itu berdasarkan dari buku Betty Azar itu? Betty Azar book?
Karna kan yang gak, dari prodi itu kan tidak meminta secara spesifik Because it’s not, the prodi didn’t asked specifically to what they want. So
mau yang apa. Jadinya aku kan mikirnya general banget miss, cuma what I have in mind was so general, only present, past, future; only those.
present, past, future, itu tok kan. Karena menurutku juga mereka Because, I also thought that learning perfect tense, past perfect or
mau belajar yang nanti apa, perfect apa kayak gitu, past perfect apa continues, or any other tenses would seem like they merely repeating what
continues, nanti jadinya seperti anak SMA. Dan grammar does not they have learned during highschool. And grammar does not work. It’s just
work. Cuman, di apa ya amanya, kalau gak ada konteksnya mau that, to make it save, when provided with no context, what’s the use of
learning grammar? I got confuse how I could teach them.
bekerjanya itu bagaimana, aku juga bingung mau mengajari seperti

apa
Q7.ii Dila Jadi yang kamu tekankan bukan pengayaan bahasanya ya tapi justru So what you gave more emphasis was the reading instead of the (grammar)
ke readingnya. enrichment?
Uke Iya sebenernya. Sebenarnya pun maksudku itu grammar itu tidak Yes, actually. Actually what I’ve been meaning is that grammar supposed to
kemudian dipelajari secara formula gitu lho miss, gak usah ngafalin, be not taught as kind of formula, doesn’t have to be memorized. But
tapi saat pada membaca itu kan pasti ada grammar yang bekerja instead, while reading there must have been some grammar involved in it.
disitu. Makanya aku kemarin tak desain itu pakai yang discovery That is also why I designed the syllabus into discovery learning; they should
learning, mereka cari sendiri grammar-grammarnya itu. Tapi kok discover the grammar themselves. But the reality didn’t meet my
jadinya itu tidak seperti yang kubayangkan. expectation.
Q7.iii Dila “Tidak seperti yang kubayangkan” can you define it? “Didn’t meet my expectation” can you define it?
Uke Kan anak-anak juga bingung bagaimana cara men-discovernya. Ada All the students were confused how they can make their discovery. some
beberapa mahasiswa yang dia bisa, maksudnya menemukan kalimat were able to do that, I mean discovering the sentences’ pattern and finding
dengan pola-polanya terus dia mencari pakai source lainnya, tapi other related sources; but may failed to do so.
banyak yang gagal.
Q7.iv Dila Kira-kira menurutmu dari yang kamu amati dari mahsiswa- From what you have observed from your students, what was the possible
mahasiswa itu letak kelemahan atau kesalahannya itu di mana weakess or mistake that contributed to the failure?
sampai kok tidak berhasil?
Uke Discovery learning nya ya? Karena aku kurang banyak ngasih latihan The discovery learning? Because I didn’t give them adequate practice on
bagaimana cara men-discovernya. Aku ada yang meeting pertama how they can do their own discovery. On the first meeting I indeed told
itu ngasih tau ini lho caranya seperti ini itu ada. Kan aku bikin kayak them the steps of how they can do that themselves. I actally also provided
SOP nya juga toh miss, contoh-contohnya juga ada disitu, cuman them things like SOP ms, it has examples in it too. But I guess they need
mungkin memang mereka butuh lebih banyak latihan untuk men- more practice to really know how they can have their discovery; to find the
discovernya itu seperti apa terus cara mendapatkan pola-polanya patterns and find more sources to support their findings. That’s why their
itu gimana terus cara mencari sources yang lain untuk men-support discovery was so limited, I think. Because, eventually, I did also made some
yang mereka temukan itu kayak gimana sehingga mereka adjustment during the classes.
menemukan sendiri itu kurang gitu lho, menurutku. Karena
memang pada akhirnya terus banyak penyesuaian waktu di kelas.
Q8.0 Dila Nah kemudian, overall, kan udah selesai nih kita, menurutmu Ad then after that, now that you have finished the class, which activity do
aktivitas mana yang paling sukses dan yang mana menurutmu the you think is the most successful and which one is the least?
least?
Uke wah aku udah lupa yang kegiatan grammar itu. Yang aku ingetnya Well, I kind of forgot when it comes to the grammar activity. What I
adalah, kan kelasnya dua semester, yang semester pertama remember is, there are tw English classes in The Department righ; the first
grammar, yang kedua conversation. Aku itu seneng banget dengan one is grammar and the second one is conversation. I am so happy with my
kelas conversation ini karena menurutku pas tak kasihkan pada saat conversation class because, I think –whe I gave them some activities during
ngajar itu, jadi materi-materinya atau pembahasan- the class- so the material or the discussion are so applicable to their actual
pembahasannya sangat applicable untuk hidup mereka gitu lho, dan life, and as far as have pbserved they become more engaged to the
se-observasi ku mereka lebih engage kesitu. activities.
Q8.i Dila Jadi kalau yang di kelas grammar kamu tidak menemukan So, in the grammar class you didn’t find excitement, did you? Still unable to
excitement gitu ya? Masih tidak despite the effort, meskipun kamu despite the effort you had made; although you had done so many things to
sudah melakukan banyak hal untuk persiapan dan pelaksanannya itu prepare and conduct the class –you still don’t think that ‘owh, it works’.
tetep kamu masih tidak merasa ‘oh it works’
Uke Aku apa ya, yang merasa berhasil itu, udah lupa, karena isinya, I –how to say it- one that feel successful –a bot forget- because there were
banyak banget toh miss ininya, activities-nya itu banyak, karena itu too many activities, right? Because the syllabus is indeed activities based.
kan memang activities based. Kalau yang aku merasa aku berharap The one that I thought would be lots of fun but turned out to be not is the
ini bakalan seru tapi ternyata enggak itu adalah literature circle. literature circle. They read and I gave them several questions. At that time
Mereka baca terus ada pertanyaan-pertanyaan gitu lho, waktu itu I felt like it would be so fun, but they didn’t find it so. Because many of them
aku merasa bakalan seru nih, ternyata enggak. Karena mungkin ada had not read yet, or may also because they didn’t find the questions to be
yang belum selesai baca terus habis itu mungkin mereka tidak begitu interesting because they had not read the story. I think the questions were
tertarik dengan pertanyaannya karena belum selesai baca itu. Kalau not the kind of comprehension type of questions; the questions were things
menurutku pertanyaannya itu justru bukan pertanyaan like their most favourite character and some sort of.
comprehension kok, pertanyaannya itu karakter mana yang kamu
suka kayak gitu-gitu kan.
Q9.0 Dila Kemudian sejauh mana menurutmu keterlibatnmu atau And then, to what extend do you think your involvement within IERA
keikutsertaanmu di IERA itu membantu kelasmu? contributes to your class?
Uke Yang pertama, aku dapat support. Support-nya itu berupa aku punya First, I felt like I finally received support. By support, I mean I have a place
tempat yang aku bisa cari informasi, itu yang pertama. Yang kedua where I can go to find information I needed. That’s the first. The second
aku punya, aku tau aku akan bisa nanya ke siapa jadi kayak I’m in my one, I know to whom I should ask the questions I have. So it felt like I’m in
pond gitu. Jadi ya disitu, dapat support aja miss. Kalau seumpamanya my pond. So, that’s how it felt like to me; I received support. It was not to
sampai kemudian ada temen datang gitu ikut mengajar ikut dalam the extent that some friends came and helped me teaching inside the class
kelas terus kasih feedback untuk di silabusnya itu tuh juga enggak. and gave me feedback for the syllabus. No, not to that extend. It just that I
Cuman waktu aku ngerasa kalau aku akan mendapat support dari felt I receive support from them, I was motivated. Eventhough I was not
mereka, dapat semangat walaupun aku gak melulu ngobrolin always talking about my class. Like the last time when I joined the most
kelasku. Jadi kayak kemarin ikut di ERWC yang terakhir, kayak anti recent ERWC, it was like the anti-climax for for everything miss. It has been
klimaks semuanya itu lho miss, kan udah lama, banyak banget a while, and there were tons of things to do and when I met people who
kegiatan dan kerjaan, abis itu ketemu sama orang yang passion-nya share the samE passion as I do, they are indeed doing the best they could,
itu sama, mereka juga melakukan apa yang mereka bisa, mereka they are also facing their own difficulties, and they are also seeking for
menemukan kesulitan, mereka juga cari support. support.
Q9.i Dila Jadi mungkin sedikit banyak itu mengisi kekosongan emotional So probably, more or less, it fills the emptiness in you, the lack of emotional
support-mu yang tidak kamu dapat dari department mu? support you don’t receive from your department.
Uke Iya, secara academically – emotional. Apa ya kalau seumpamanya Yes, academically – emotionally. When we have the same passion in ER, we
kita passion-nya dibidang ER kan pinginnya ya share, pelaksanaan ER must have wanted to share how we implemented ER. But if we don’t share
ku itu seperti ini. Cuman kalau gak sama-sama di passion itu, nanti the passion, the discussion would turn into something like what we had
pembahasannya seperti waktu kita ketemu dengan pak handoyo itu with Pak Handoyo last time “Ah, you should change this and that” without
“Ah ini ganti ganti” Tanpa dia itu tau bahwa kita itu sedang ngobrolin even knowing what are we talking about. But when we meet someone with
apa toh, kayak gitu-gitu lho miss. Tapi kalau ketemu sama yang the same passion, we’ll go like “Owh ya, in my place I did it last time, have
sama-sama passion-nya tu “oh iya ya soalnya ditempatku kemarin you read the theory on this?” things like that, miss. So we have more to
juga begini, eh kamu udah baca teori yang ini belum?” kayak gitu lho share when we are among those who share the same passion in ER.
miss. Jadi lebih banyak yang bisa di-share kalau barengan sama yang
sama-sama passion nya itu di ER.
Q10.0 Dila Kalau kemarin, ini based on my observation on you ya. Kan kayaknya Last time, simply based on the things I had been observing from you, the
tahun-tahun kemarin itu kan kamu getol banget, ngejar banget di ER last previous years was so intense for you; you pursue ER so pationately
itu salah satunya kan juga karna kamu mau gak mau kepaksa gak because one among any other reasons is that you have to –want it or not-
kepaksa kan ngajar grammar itu. Nah in case, kita hypothetically teach grammar. So, in case, I am simply hypotatically asking –as a mere
asking aja ya -hypothetical question aja- Semisal kamu tidak harus hypothetical question- in case you didn’t have to teach grammar, do you
mengajar grammar, do you still think that you are going to be still think that you are going to be involved here? [Uke clarifying; Not
involved here? [Uke clarifying; Gak ngajar grammar?] Iya, semisal teaching grammar?] Yes, say that you didn’t have grammar class.
kamu gak ada kelas grammar.
Uke Masih, karena aku ngojok-ngojokin ms. Marga ‘yang pertama-i Yes, I would. Because I persuaded ms. Marga’s ‘the first class should be
ngenggone Extensive Reading sek. Walaupun sekarang pada Extensive Reading’. Although now it had been canceled because the prodi
akhirnya dihapuskan ya karena jurusan mintanya yang ESP atau apa wants ESP instead or something else I forget. [Me; Owh now it has been
gitu lupa aku. [Me; Oh udah berubah sekarang?] Mulai semester changed?] Starting from the next semester there would no longer be ER.
besok itu kan sudah tidak ada ER.
Q10.i Dila Berarti kan kemarin kalau gak salah di interview sebelumnya kamu So, during our first interview if I’m not mistaken, in Bu Marga’s class you
bilang bahwa to some extend di kelasnya bu Marga ER lebih berhasilsaid that to some extend her class is more successful than yours. If there
gitu ya. Nah, kalau gak dipakai -mungkin bisa- kamu beberapa wouldn’t be ER class anymore, you could probably use some of the activity
aktivitas yang dulu di sana bisa kamu terapkan di kelasmu? for your class?
Uke Karena sama miss, activity-nya tidak begitu jauh berbeda yang tak Because they were the same ms, the activity I gave for accounting students
kasih ke [The Department] sama yang tak kasih di Akuntansi. was not significantly different from what I’d given to the students of The
Department.
Q10.ii Dila Tapi kan kamu pernah bilang kalau “punyanya Bu Marga itu berhasil But you once told me that “The ones at Bu Marga’s class worked while mine
punyaku enggak” was not”
Uke Cuma aktivitasnya sama, maksudnya aktivitasnya itu mirip-mirip But the activity was the same. I mean they bot were similar but the result
cuman memang hasilnya yang berbeda. was indeed different.
Q10.iii Dila Karena mahasiswanya? Menurutmu kok bisa beda sementara Because of the students? Why do you think they resulted differently?
aktivitasnya sama kok hasilnya beda?
Uke Hasilnya beda karena silabusnya pun berbeda. Jadi aku kan gak bisa The result was different because the syllabus was also different. So, I
ngeplek dari apa yang diterapkan Miss Marga; gak bisa 100% sama couldn’t exactly imitated what Bu Marga had done; could do that 100% the
dengan yang di [The Department]; begitu pula sebaliknya. Tapi same as what I did at The Department; and the vice versa. But the basics
emang basic-basic-nya sama kayak ada literature circle, dua-duanya were the same, say for example there were literature circle; both classes
juga ada. Dua-duanya ada drama, kayak gitu-gitu lho miss, cuman had the activity. Both also had drama, things like that ms, but since the
kan silabusnya berbeda jadi kayak satu activity untuk berapa kali syllabus was not the same such as the number of meeting, the treatment
meeting di sini beda dengan jumlah meeting yang di sini, treatment was also different.
nya juga beda.
Q11.0 Dila Terus kan mahasiswa yang sama yang kamu ajar di Grammar Then, the same students you were teaching in Grammar class are also your
kemarin kan kamu ajar di semester berikutnya, menurutmu ada gak current students in the following semester; do you see any trace of what
bekas-bekas dari yang kamu ajarkan di semester sebelumnya itu you had been taught them from the previous semester that you see in the
yang nampak di semester berikutnya? following semester?
Uke Kalau untuk grammar menurutku enggak, gak ada, maksudku aku Related to the grammar, I don’t think I see it. None, I mean I can’t observe
tidak bisa mengobservasinya gitu, ada perubahan apa atau hasil apa whteher ther has been changes or not. It is non-observable.
juga aku gak ngerti, kayaknya non-observable
Q11.i Dila At least kalau pas di kelas grammar kan kamu membuka At least, during the times you had your Grammar class, you also borrow
peminjaman buku itu siapa yang mau datang itu kan dan lumayan, some books for everyone who wanted to read, and those who came were
karena memang dipakai untuk kegiatan utamanya. Nah, kalau yang quite few right? Because those books were indeed used as the main activity.
di semester berikutnya itu masih berjalan atau karena tidak And so, on the following semester, did you still do that or since you didn’t
diharuskan pinjem lagi.. [unfnished]. insist them to read again… [unfinished]
Uke Nggak ada, itu karena apa ya rasanya itu kan capek gitu, kok kayanya No, it was because I felt tired. It seemed that none worked as I planned. It
nggak berjalan dengan lancar, kayaknya apa yang aku tawarkan itu seemed that every book I offered was not taken. So well – I did not- no
tidak diambil, jadi yaudah -aku tidak- nggak maksain mereka cuman longer insisted them to read. I just keep encouraging them to read much. ‘if
aku mencoba untuk- aku tetap insist ke anak-anak harus baca banyak you don’t want to read Graded Readers, that’s fine. But you should still read
gitu kan. ‘Kalau kamu gak mau baca graded readers ya gapapa, tapi something else.’ [as if talking to her students]. So I told them to read other
kamu harus baca yang lainnya’ [as if talking to her students]. Jadi ya kinds, with the task type which required them to read. Say for example, the
tak suruh baca yang lainnya, dengan task-nya itu tu hal-hal yang first task was to prepare for poster presentation about food around the
memang harus baca. Kayak kan tugas yang pertama, project yang world. [Me interrupting; was that on the second semester?] On the second
pertama itu kan bikin poster presentation tentang food around the semester. So, that one project could take up to three to four meetings. The
world. [me interrupting; Semester 2 itu ya?] Semester 2. Nah 1 first meeting they would do cetrtain pre activities, and even when they
project itu kan meeting bisa tiga sampai empat kali. Meeting wanted to continue making the poster they would still have to read a lot. I
pertama ngapain dulu-ngapain dulu, kalau mau bisa menjalankan used that as the teaching methodology since when I used the Graded
sampai bikin poster besok merekapun harus baca banyak hal gitu Readers, I found myself to get bored. [Me cutting; got bored?] By got bored
loh. Aku lewatnya situ karna kan aku waktu mau masukin ke graded I mean, I had tried repeatedly not only in The Department; but even at
readers-nya itu satu aku sendiri bosen. [me cutting; Bosen?] Accounting, Graded Readers were not really grabbing interest; even when I
Bosennya itu karena aku nyobain berkali-kali gak cuma di had some new ones and I advertised them, and even that I belief those were
[mentioning The Department] kan di Akuntansi juga itu nggak laku more interesting than those I had already had before –the one I got for free
graded readers itu. Walaupun aku punya yang baru aku iklan- whose levels were mostly in lower levels and with less updated topics. So I
iklankan dan aku yakin yang baru itu lebih menarik daripada yang bought some Graded Readers myself, I advertised those books, but still no
lama karena yang dapat gratisan itu kan yang levelnya bawah-bawah one was interested to read them. Except the time when I used them as the
itu gak banyak yang baru gitu miss. Aku tu beli sendiri beberapa classroom activity and made them as assignment. When those were the
grade readers itu, ku iklan-iklankan tetap gak ada yang tertarik, case, they would come and borrow some books. If not, there was still no
kecuali kalau aku bawa bukunya di kelas dan dijadikan tugas mereka voluntary reading among them. But that was okay because the basic
baru mau datang dan mencari tapi kalau enggak belum sampai ke premise of ER is that it must be done over long period of times to succeed.
voluntary reading. Ya gapapa karena memang basic premise nya ER Even for the first Grammar class I had it was only the attitude toward
dia harus dilakukan selama beberapa tahun baru kelihatan. Orang reading which changed into more positive, not yet to its engagement, not
yang pertama aja baru attitude toward reading nya dulu yang dia yet to make them read more, etc. It was only the perpective which changed.
lebih positive, belum sampai ke engagement, belum sampai ke And it was also only done for one semester, 16 meetings, and it was
reading lebih banyak dan lain-lainnya. Baru perspective-nya aja sih incomplete, so I didn’t expect much. But I still hoped and tried not only for
yang berubah. Nah itu kan juga baru satu semester, 16 meeting, dan the last semester. Last year I also tried to use reading and the result was –
itu juga tidak complete. Jadi ya aku tidak berharap banyak the one on 2017- it was not something waw, because I seemed to forget
sebenernya. Tapi ya tetep berharap dan aku kan juga mencobanya that ER can not only be given for 2 semesters; well, what do you expect?
gak cuma semester kemarin. Tahun sebelumnya aku juga nyobain Seriously, when I designed the activity I imagined liked the output will be
dan hasilnya itu memang -yang tahun 2017- Itu gak yang waw, like this and that; they didn’t work though. After that, I became tired. [Me
karena ya part nya memang lupa bahwa ER itu memang ya gak bisa interrupting; have you had enough of it?] No.
kalau cuma sesemester dua semester itu ya ‘what do you expect?’
Tenan, aku kan mendesain sesuatu kan, besok kayaknyaa hasilnya
kayak gini lho, gak berhasil. Setelah itu aku kesel. [me interrupting;
Kapok gak?] enggak.
Q12.0 Dila Jadi di semester ini masih akan menggunakan ER revised syllabus gitu So, this semester you would still use ER revised syllabus?
ya?
Uke Ini tu aku baru nyari, ini kan baru bikin RPS aku tu sampai sekarang I am currently still searching for, I am in the progress of designing new RPS
belum berhasil bikin RPS karena waktu kemarin aku masih until now. I haven’t finished it yet, because I am still taking times to
brainstorming gitu lho miss; kegiatan apa, gimana caranya biar brainstorming, ms; what activity and how I can make students happy being
mereka itu dengan happy dipaksa untuk baca graded readers. forced to read graded readers. That’s why I bought another new sets of
Makanya aku beli graded readers baru lagi walaupun kemarin aku graded readers although last time when I advertised it, the respond was still
iklan-iklanin aja masih entah ya. Tapi aku dua kali bisa keluar dan ada not good. But during two accasions I managed to attend I found graded
graded readers itu waktu ke Thailand kemarin ama waktu kemarin readers; when I went to Thailand and Taiwan. I bought my own graded
ke Taiwan. Itu aku beli graded readers sendiri, itu makanya duitnya readers, and so I spent all of my money on it. [Me responding; excellent]
habis ya buat beli itu. [me responding; Luar biasa] Dengan harapan hoping that those graded readers would be read by my students. I realize
bahwa graded readers nya itu akan dibaca oleh mahasiswa. Kalau that it has to be with –what is it called- patient. I must be patient because
aku sadar bahwa itu harus -apa namanya- patient gitu lho. Harus they wont be in an instant feeling happy to read, especially when because
sabar karena gak bisa langsung seneng apalagi mereka gak anak they are not from English department. If they were students of English
Bahasa Inggris. Kalau anak Bahasa inggris mungkin dapet kalimat- department, they might find funny sentences in the book that they like;
kalimat lucu di dalam buku itu kan seneng; dapat quote-quote yang quotes that can be used on their daily life. In case of my students, their
bisa dipakai buat ala-ala apa gitu. Anak-anak itu ya mungkin sense of sense of English might not be as high as compared to their sense of [The
English nya kan mungkin juga gak sebegitu tinggi dibandingkan Depatment].
dengan sense of [The Department’s course].
Q12.i Dila Jauh gak menurutmu? Is it too far of different?
Uke Aku karena gak ngerti mereka bagaimana terhadap [The I don’t really understand how their perception on The Department’s
Department’s course] ya jadi aku tidak bisa membandingkan. courses is, so can’t really make the comparation.
Q13.0 Dila Terus kan Extensive Reading juga kamu terapkan di community And you also implement Extensive Reading for your community service –
servicemu -pengabdian masyarakat yang dengan mahasiswa- the one you were working with students last time. So you had already
mahasiswa kemarin. Berarti kan sudah ada satu siklus yang sudah completed. One full cycle. How do you think is the level of success when
selesai. Nah, itu menurutmu sejauh apa tingkat kesuksesan-nya comparing it to what ou have in the class?
kalau dibandingkan dengan di kelas seperti apa ?
Uke Kalau dilihat dari tingkat partisipasinya, kontrolnya lebih enak yang
When we consider the participation rate, hhmm… the control was better
di kelas daripada yang di pengabdian itu. Kalau yang di pengabdian when I have the class rather than with my community service. I actually did
kan aku sebenernya dua kali miss pakai Extensive Reading. Nah, yangtwice community services in which I implemented Extensive Reading. The
pertama itu di SD yang bareng miss arifah sama evi. Itu berhasilnyafirst one was at the Elementary School when I collaborated with miss Arifah
lumayan kalau aku bilang mungkin sekitar 98%. Happy-nya anak- and Evi. It worked pretty well. If I may say, its success rate was around 98%.
anak lho! Karena kan itu multimodality –gak- bukan cuma baca saja. I can see those children happiness. Because it benefited multimodality –not
Bacanya aja itu retell, tapi anak-anak happy. just- instead of a mere reading activity. Even the reading was simply to
retell; but those children were happy.
Q13.i Dila Jadi tingkat mengukur keberhasilan nya itu kamu lihat dari? So, how do you measure the success rate from?
Uke Anak-anak project-nya selesai semua, dan hampir 100% project-nya Those children completed all of the projects, and almost 100% of the
selesai dan mereka bisa nge-recall apa yang sudah diberikan. Terus projects were accomplished, and they could recall what had been given.
kan akhir project-nya itu membuat cards gitu untuk temennya itu And then the final project was designing cards to be given to their friends.
Semua anak bikin selesai. [Me clarifying; Bahasa inggris semuanya All of them finished their cards. [Me clarifying; all of those cards were in
itu?] Bahasa Inggris! Ya! [me again; anak SD?] Anak SD kelas 4, dua English?] In English, Yes! [Me again; Elementary School student?] Yes, 4th
kelas. Terus satunya yang kemarin kan anak SMA. Nah, itu karena grade, there were two classes. And then the other one was for Senior High
ekstrakurikuler plus semester genap. Nah, semester genap itu sudah School students. So, this one was conducted as extracurricular and during
mulai mendekati kakak kelasnya UN gitu terus mereka banyak libur. even semester. And, since it was conducted on the even semester, National
Cuman memang ada beberapa anak yang dia selalu ikut miss. Kan Exam for their senior was around the corner and so they had many days off.
kami itu ngadain dua kali itu sampai di UMY karena sekolah libur But, there were some students who persistenly joined the activity, miss. So
terus dan anak itu datang terus ga pernah absen. Dan mereka we did it twice, once we even had it in UMY because school was off. Those
beneran baca bukunya. Jadi ya kalau tingkat keberhasilan dilihat dari particular students always attended the program and was never absent.
jumlah partisipannya tu gak begitu banyak karena itu fluktuatif And they really read the book. So, when we considered the success rate
banget. Sekarang yang ikut segini, blas yang segini, cuma beberapa only from the participation, it might not be high because the number of
gelintir orang karena libur. Terus habis itu kalau kesini juga ya males students attending was highly fluctuated. Say for example, one time there
kan, mungkin. Abis itu mereka ada kegiatan waktu mau ada lomba were ‘this’ many students, but other time there were only few because of
debat atau apa gitu. Karena itu ekstrakurikuler tok. [Me clarifying the day off. And then, probably some were also reluctant to come here
details; Dan voluntarily kan?] Iya voluntarily dan meskipun dipaksa- (UMY). And also, it was because there was also another event of debate or
paksa sama gurunya tapi tetep gak berhasil. Cuman kalau pas kalau something; I don’t really remember. Well, once again because it was simply
ngobrol gitu ya, mereka merasakan bahwa ‘oh ya ternyata reading extracurricular. [Me clarifying details; And voluntarily, right?] Yes,
itu menyenangan’ karena mereka juga –belum- pertama graded voluntarily and although the teacher had helped encouraging them, it didn’t
readers waktu lihat itu waktu disitu. Bisa meng-observe bahwa ‘oh work. However, when we were conversing, they admitted that they felt
ternyata aku tu suka yang…[unfinished]’, ada tu yang sukanya classic ‘owh, reading can be fun’ because they –had not- the first time they knew
-angkatan tahun-tahun 60-an yang dibaca- itu karena gambarnya about graded readers was when they participated in the program. They
“Ini pakai bajunya itu bagus lho miss, yang ada renda-rendanya” ya could observe ‘owh, I turn out to like…[unfinished]’, some liked classic book
kayak gitu di cover-nya ada itu. –they read those books set during 60’s- because they saw the picture and
went on saying “The clothe they are wearing is beautiful, mss. Some have
laces.” Well, things like that, as they could see from the book cover.
Q14.0 Dila Jadi kembali ke kelasmu yang ‘18 ya. Kan sepanjang yang sudah kita So, let’s get back to your [badge] ’18 class. As far as what we had discussed
bicarakan kurang lebihnya yang kamu tekankan di kelas itu- more or less what you emphasize is –despite this is Grammar class- at least
meskipun kelas grammar- yang kamu tekankan adalah minimal ada two things: one is to build the habit to read –make them accustomed to
dua ya: satu adalah habit to read-nya biar mereka tercipta -habit- read. And then, the second one is the discovery learning. Am I right?
kebiasaan untuk membaca. Kemudian kedua adalah discovery
learning-nya, iya gak?
Uke Sebenernya aku juga tujuannya juga biar mereka itu mulai seneng Actually, my goal is to make them enjoy reading first. Not yet to the extent
gitu -belum sampai ke habit sih miss. Mulai seneng dulu sama of building reading habit. I want them to start enjoying reading and change
change perpective bahwa baca Bahasa inggris tuh nggak sulit gitu. their perspective that reading English is not difficult. If you find it difficult,
Kalau semuanya sulit berarti kamu baca hal yang salah. meaning that what you read is not the one suitable for you.
Q14.i Dila Oke change perspective-nya mulai dari graded readers-nya. Habit- Okay, you change their perspective by giving them Graded Readers. The
nya mungkin, mulai menciptakan habit itu mungkin karena disetiap habit probably, you start building the habit perhabs from how you ask them
meeting kamu meminta membaca - membaca gitu ya? to read every meeting?
Uke Gak sampai ke habit juga sih miss [Me pursuing; Oh belum sampai? Not to the extent of building habit miss [Me pursuing; Owh, not to that
Terus apa dong?] Soalnya ya itu change perspective dan apa extend?] Because, well yeah, to change perspective and –what is it called-
namanya better attitude. Maksudnya better attitude Itu gak yang better attitude. What I mean by better attitude is they are not feeling
mereka gak resentful kalo awalnya suruh baca yang Bahasa inggris. resentful toward English class. The aim is to make them feel happy, just for
Gak resentful terhadap kelas Bahasa inggris. Tujuannya kan memang fun.
hanya untuk happy-happy saja, dolanan.
Q15.0 Dila Oke. Lalu discoverynya baru memang mau gak mau harus kamu Okay. So the discovery must still be added to make the class in line with the
kasihkan untuk meng-inline kelas ke grammar gitu ya? grammar, is that it?
Uke Iya dan aku baru dapatnya itu cocoknya itu ya discovery. Mungkin Yes, and so far what I feel suitable is discovery. Probably there are other
ada cara yang lain tapi aku cuman belum tau gitu. Terus kalau ways which I haven’t found out yet. In my case, the ones that I had
menurutku yang kemarin tak pakai itu karena ku memang dapatnya implemented was discovery because that so far what I’ve known; discovery
sampai ke discovery learning. Aku senang membebas-bebaskan learning. I feel happy to give freedom to my students, whther they want to
mahasiswa, gak belajar terserah mau belajar ya terserah juga. Kalau learn or not, that’s exactly their own decision. When later they have a bad
nanti nilaimu jelek ya itu karna kamu gak mau belajar; ya gitu-gitu scre that’s the consequence of not wanting to learn. Simply like that, ms.
lah miss.
Q16.0 Dila Terus kan dari interview yang pertama dulu kan disebutkan bahwa On the firs interview, you mentioned that quote-unqiote you use Extensive
kamu dalam tanda kutip nih menggunakan extensive reading ini Reading because you are implicitly given freedom to teach grammar
karena kan secara implisit kamu diberikan kebebasan ya sudah however your method is. So, you have started to implement that without –
grammar caranya gimana gitu kan. Nah kemudian kamu sudah mulai well, probably not without- but in a rather different way than what your
menerapkan itu tanpa, ya bukan tanpa ya maksudnya mungkin akan prodi expected. What kind of responsibility that you reported to the prodi
sedikit berbeda dari ekspetasi prodi. Nah kemudian di akhir kemarin at the end of the program?
itu kamu memberikan pertanggung jawaban dalam bentuk laporan
atau seperti apa?
Uke Gak ada, karena tidak ada MONEV dan seperti itu. Nothing, because it has no MONEV (monitoring and evaluation) and things
alike.
Q16.i Dila Jadi meskipun mereka tau “oh Miss Uke itu menggunakan reading So, eventhough they knew ‘owj, ms Uke uses reading instead of teaches
lho gak yang ngajari grammar gitu” [Uke correcting; Aku gak tau grammar” [Uke correcting; I didn’t know whether they knew or not] ow, is
mereka tau apa enggak] Oh gitu? Gak tau mereka tau atau enggak? that it? So you are not sure whether they knew it or not?
Uke Aku gak tau mereka tau apa enggak kalau aku itu pakai Extensive I don’t know whether they knew it or not that I had implemented Extensive
Reading dalam kelas.[Me clarifying; Tapi kan kamu submit silabus, Readinf in my class. [Me clarifying’ but you submitted your syllabus and RPS,
RPS nya?] Belum tentu mereka baca miss. didn’t you?] There was possibility they didt read it, ms.
Q16.ii Dila Oh, gitu ya? Oke, berarti kemudian juga kamu idak dituntut untuk Owm is that it? It means that you was not being asked to report the
menunjukkan signifikansi dari programmu ini adalah ‘ini-itu’; gak significance of your program as ‘this and that’? So, as simple as that? [Uke;
ada? Jadi selo aja gitu ya? [Uke; nodding] Jadi keinginan untuk nodding] So, the desire to revise and review the syllabus comes purely from
merevisi dan me-review itu datang murni dari kamu sendiri? you?
Uke Ya karna liat di kelas itu kayak aku berhasil, makanya sebenernya Yes, because I had seen it unsuccessful in the class. That’s whay I sometimes
aku; ya apa toh yang tak cari? Karena sebenernya silabus juga cuma think; what I am actually looking for? Actually there should only be one
satu dipakai sampai ya mungkin 5 tahun; karena kurikulum kalau 5 syllabus to be used for 5 years; and it’s considered okay. While in my case,
tahun kan masih oke ya. Lah aku tiap semester ganti, kesel aku. [Me I change syllabus each year; I am so tired. [Me responding; you put yourself
responding; Kamu cari kesel sendiri] Ya soalnya kalau ini mau tak in it] yeah, well, because I can’t use the same while knowing that it didn’t
pakai kok gak berhasil. work.
Q16.ii Dila Memang yang lainnya seperti itu ya? [Uke clarifying; Yang lain itu Does anyone else do that? [Uke clarifying; what do you mean?] The RPS,
apa?] RPS kayak sebelum kurikulum dirubah 5 tahun mungkin masih before being revised they would stil use the same one for five years?
terpakai.
Uke Maybe [Me; You don’t know?] [Uke; shaking her head] Aku gak Maybe [Me; You don’t know?] [Uke; shaking her head] I really don’t know.
ngerti.
Q16.iii Dila Kalian kalau rapat bahas apa sih? Bahas akademis gitu ya? What do you guys discussed during meetings?
Uke Apa ya miss ya? [me laughing; ini serius aku nanya] Kayak kemarin I am not sure, ms. [me laughing; I seriousely ask] well, the other time, we
itu ada pemaparan RPS; eh judulnya itu ‘Workshop Penulisan RPS’ had elaboration on RPS; eh the title was ‘Workshop on designing RPS’ but I
tapi kan gak ikut yang kemarin terakhir. Yang sebelumnya itu ada didn’t attend the last one. Before that we had a program dissemination so
memaparkan, ‘jadi ya itu besok itu kelas Grammar nananana, udah. “the Grammar class would be blabalabla’ that’s it. Well, yeah I received
Ya ada masukan gitu; cuman gak sampai ke substansial “eh kan feedbacks but it was very limited not so substantial, not to the extent that
kalau ER dibeginiin kan gak bisa” gak sampai kayak gitu. ‘We can’t do this and that with ER’.
Q16.iv Dila Nah kemudian akan kamu juga dijanjikan sementara waktu -sebelum And then, you were also given a promise that in the meantime –before we
kita bisa mengubah kurikulum ini- ‘pokoknya harus seperti ini dulu can change this curriculum- ‘you still have to do it this way, ms’. [Uke
miss’ gitu. [Uke cutting; iya iya] Nah, gitu sudah ada progress belum cutting; yes yes] have you had any progress since then?
dari situ?
Uke Progressnya adalah semua orang sepakat harus dirubah The progress is everyone agrees to change the curriculum, pretty good.
kurikulumnya, lumayan.
Q16.v Dila Yaa it’s a good progress berarti kan. Progress is always good ya! Jadi, Yaa it’s a good progress indeed. Progress is always good right! So, it goes to
berarti kan bagus itu. Kira-kira akan kapan? a god thing. When weill it probably be done?
Uke Entah [Me a bit shock; Loh gimana sih?] Gak tau, katanya habis akre, Have no idea [me abit shocked; what are you saying?] I don’t know, they
cuman kan akre juga udah kapan kan. [Me clarifying; Oh jadi belum said after the accreditation. But since the accreditation is still unknown to
jadi-jadi?] Belum, katanya sih Oktober. be done at what time, well yeah… [Me clarifying; so the acrediation has not
finished yet? Not yet, they said October.
Q16.vi Dila Yang lainnya sudah visitasi-visitasi kok tempatmu belum-belum toh? Other departments had had their visitation, why yours hasn’t yet?
Uke Lha iya, sulit mencari -apasih namanya- yang memang khusus di [The Tell you, it is difficult to find –what is it- the specific one for [The
Department’s major] gitu loh miss. Apa namanya, assessor-nya. [Me Department’s major], what is it; the assessor. [Me asking some details; what
asking some details; Loh lah yang dulu?] Yang dulu sudah meninggal about the one from the previous accreditation?] He had already passed
miss, begitu meng-assess [The Department] langsung meninggal. away ms, once The Department’s acrediation was completed.
Q16.vii Dila Jadi sebenernya kemarin kalian -kamu terutama- stress emosi jiwa So, last time you were –you especially- under the stress emotionally and
dan raga kemarin itu, itu karena akre itu? physically was actually for the accreditation?
Uke Iya masih sampai Oktober besok bayangin Yes, and we still have to dealt with that until October, can you imagine that?
Q16.viii Dila Oh I see. Jadi perang dinginnya masih? Oh I see. So the cold war is still going on?
Uke Udah gak perang dingin sih miss. [Me cutting; Tapi? Ya maksudnya Well, it’s no longer cold war I think. [Me cutting; but? I mean, last time I
kan kemarin as I recall dari interview kemarin kan, kamu kemudian recall from the interview, you said your point of exploding was those time
titik kemuntapan-nya itu kan dari yang di akre itu, ya nggak?] Sampai during acrediation right?] Until the part when I was talking about
yang ‘aku terus mengundurkan diri itu po?’ resignation, you mean?
Q16.ix Dila Ya maksudnya sampai kamu yang kemudian sampai kamu merubah Yes, I mean to the point when you changed your life view. When you said
pandangan hidupmu. Ya bukan pandangan hidup ya, maksudnya that after the acrediation you also want to become selfish just like the other
kemudian kamu bilang bahwa setelah akreditasi kemudian kamu people there; the point in time when you started to change.
juga mau selfish aja kalau yang lain seperti itu itu lho, titik poin
perubahanmu.
Uke Masih sih, maksudnya masih sama dengan ya kalau orang-orang mau Well, everyting remains the same. If everyone wants to –what is it- wants
-apa namanya- konsennya ke diri mereka sendiri lalu ya the same to focus on themselves, well ill just do the same thing. But as you see it
thing gitu tuh masih. Cuman, kemarin kan kamu juga melihat sendiri yourself, it turns out that I couldn’t do it yet. There are still some which I
toh dan ternyata aku gak bisa seperti itu masih ada beberapa hal still have to figure out until now. My initial hypothesis is when something is
yang aku tau ya, aku juga masih nyari sampai sekarang. Hipotesis directly related to students and it is not done properly, I would get anxious.
awalku adalah suatu yang dia langsung berkaitan dengan mahasiswa Just like the last incident which made me so furious; about the bridging
kalau itu gak beneran aku itu kan gelisah gitu loh miss. Kayak kemarin program. Bridging program directly relate dto students. Those students had
itu kan sebenarnya yang bikin mangkel itu kan gara-gara bridging itu. paid for the bridging program. I kept repeatedly got annoyed; everytime we
Bridging itu kan berkaitan langsung dengan mahasiswa. Mahasiswa were about to have the program I would feel uneasy and anxious because
kan bayar bridging juga. Terus kalau seumpamanya yang sebelum- we were dealing with students. During [last years’] Mataf (orientation
sebelumnya aku juga tiap mau bridging aku selalu eweuh dan gelisah program) I also felt uneasy because most of the lecturers didn’t attend. You
karena itu selalu berkaitan dengan mahasiswa. Mataf itu aku juga know what, just before this we have [this semester’s] Mataf and during th
sempat eweuh karena dosen-dosennya gak pada datang. Tau gak speech the chair of the HIMA (student board) said “My gratitude goes to
tadi kan mataf ya terus ketua -apa namanya- HIMA-nya dia bilang the lecturers who has managed to come ontime”. Fortunately this time
“Saya menyampaikan terima kasih kepada dosen-dosen yang sudah many of us came, and I was the only female lecturer who came. Well, more
datang tepat waktu”. Cuman kami lebih banyak yang datang miss than who came last year, it’s pretty good compared to last year when those
dan aku datang sendirian yang cewek. Cuma lebih banyak dan, ya… who came were only 2 or 3 people. It was so not funny.
lumayanlah dibandingkan dengan yang kemarin yang Datang cuman
2 or 3 orang. Kan gak lucu.
Q17.0 Dila Ada gak perubahan secara perspective atau cara pandang kamu ke Is there any changes in your perspective or your point of view toward The
Departemen kamu setelah terakhir kita ngobrol di interview Department after our first interview?
pertama kemarin
Uke Aku udah lupa miss, interview pertama itu aku ngomong apa aja. I forgot what I had been telling you that time, ms.
Q17.i Dila Jadi interview pertama kan kamu bercerita tentang usahanmu So, during the first interview you told me about your effort to adapt yourself
beradaptasi, kemudian konflik-konflik yang kamu alami di sana, there, and also about the conflicts you encountered there, also when at the
kemudian pada akhirnnya kamu bilang “yasudahlah, aku menyerah.” end you said “just let it be, I give up”. The point of what you said that time
Intinya kalau pada saat itu “ya sudahlah aku menyerah”, “Kalau was “I give up”, “if this is how it should be, I will adapt myself into this way.
memang seperti ini aku akan adapt seperti ini, kalian seperti itu ya You guys do like you do, and I’ll do it my way”. And so, now I’m asking
aku akan seperti itu” gitu kan. Nah, kemudian ada gak kemudian whether you have changed the way you see things there after that? Eiter
pandangan mu yang berubah setelah itu? Either kamu kemudian you started to feel ‘owh it turns out that they are like this or that, now I can
mulai ‘ooh ternyata mereka seperti ini kamu sudah bisa lebih finally accept who they are’ or things like that?
menerima mereka’ atau gimana gitu?
Uke Sudah sih, karena kan sudah berlangsung beberapa lama toh kalau Well, yeah. Things have changed beause it’s been a while. To think about it,
dilihat-lihat aku baru dua tahun ya di sana ya. 2017 kan aku ke sana I’ve just being transferred there for two years, haven’t I? It was 2017, wasn’t
ya. Ternyata memang proses adaptasinya itu gak enak gitu lho dan it? The adaptation process was indeed unpleasant and it took long. Now, I
agak lama. Kalau sekarang aku sudah lebih bisa “oh kayaknya dia can already “so, they do that apparently because of this or that” I can
begini itu karena apa” aku sudah bisa mengidentifikasi lebih bisa identify their reason better; things which justify their action. So I can
nyari alasan untuk menjustifikasi. Jadi aku lebih bisa mentoleransi. tolerate them better. That’s also why I’ve been pretty much being calm this
Makanya sebenernya aku ini semester ini kalem-kalem aja. Aku ‘mau semester. I simply think that ‘whatever you want to do, it’s up to you’, but
ngapain ya terserah kamu lah’, cuman kalau memang yang udah for things which are directly related to students I would become anxious
menyangkut hal-hal yang memang terkait langsung dengan and I feel the urgency to speak up. This is why last time I went to that
mahasiswa aku agak gelisah dan kemudian merasa aku harus extenxt because I felt like I couldn’t handle it anymore. I was really aware
ngomomg gitu. Makanya kemarin aku sampai kayak gitu pun aku that this past semester I was so calm, being so calm, I just give up with the
rasa bahwa aku udah gak bisa lagi yang kayak kemarin itu. Aku accreditation stuffs. And then my principle is that I don’t want to talk bad
benar-benar menyadari semester kamarin itu aku kalem, kalem- about people in public; I’d better text them one by one asking about the
kalem aja gitu, mau akre yang sampai kayak apa. Terus prinsipku progress, reinding them that “you haven’t done this and that” and I try to
adalah aku tidak mau menjelekkan orang lain di depan public; -di- put my words in a way that they won’t be humiliated. I am really aware of
aku ngerewangi, nge-PM in satu orang nanyain progressnya gimana that. I feel so annoyed inside [pointing her chest], so angered, just like what
terus ngingetin “kamu belum ini lho” dan aku mencoba untuk happened when one said “my laptop is broken”, “hell”, so what? Do
membuat kalimat itu nggak jatuhin orang gitu loh. Itu aku benar- something then. Other friends were working hard while you –well, although
benar aware. Godok di sini tu [pointing her chest] mangkel banget I don’t exactly know their life. I was then questioning their responsibility. I
aku kayak dengan gampang “ah laptopku rusak”, “hell”, lah terus was so angered, ms. Bur yeah, things must be done “we still have to finish
laptopmu rusak kamu ngapain gitu, ngapa-ngapa kek, buat data-data that, Sir”. People were so ignorant saying [unfinished] while me reading that
itu tetep ada gitu lho, temen-temennya kerja keras kok situ ya gak felt it here [pointing her chest while laughing bitterly]. So, last time I became
tau ya kehidupannya kayak apa. Cuman kan ya tanggung jawabnya so angry because I couldn’t hold it any longer, beause I think ther had been
gimana pekerjaannya gitu. Aku mangkel banget miss. Cuman kan too many illogical things, too many ignoranace that everyone getting more
terus “tetap harus dikerjakan ya [Sir]” kayak gitu, udah. Lempeng aja and more individualistics. Problem is, at time when they were gossiping
kalau orang [unfinished] yang baca disini [pointing her chest while somethings, it would bo so quick. They didn’t discuss what responsibility
laughing bitterly]. Makanya kemarin aku sampai yang aku mangkel they have toward the stduents. And they would go saying “ah, it gave me
banget itu memang aku sudah bener-bener gak bisa nahan, karena headache”, they have too many excuses. I am actually afraid of reminding
menurutku jadi too many illogical things gitu loh, too many people; seriousely! ‘You yourself haven’t finished your own job, why do you
ignorance yang kok makin lama orang ini makin mikir dirinya sendiri. bother reminding other?’ I am afraid they would say that to me, even until
Masalahnya kalau pas bahas ghibah, cepet aja kerjaannya. Tidak now. But I just play dumb.
bahas yang dia harus bertanggungjawab terhadap mahasiswa itu.
Baru “ah aku pusing” kebanyakan alasan. Aku kan sebenernya takut
toh miss kalau aku mengingatkan orang itu takut; bener! ‘Orang
kamu aja belum bisa nyelesein kok kamu inget-ingetin orang’ aku
masih takut sampai sekarang miss. Cuman ya aku terus nebelin muka
aja gitu.
Q17.ii Dila Emang kenapa kamu riweuh? Kapasitasmu sebagai apa? Maksudnya Why wes it complicated for you? What is your capacity? I mean, whoy it has
kenapa harus kamu yang mengingatkan? to be you who keep reminding them?
Uke Kalau yang akre, karena aku memang sekretaris kan, sekretaris sama For the acrediation, because I am the secretary and treasurer. [Me
bendahara. [Me clarifying; Oh yang kamu ingatkan itu sebatas untuk clarifying; Owh, things you kept reminding therm were about the
akre?]. Kecuali yang bridging kemarin. Kalau itu memang acrediation only?] Except the one for Bridging program. In that case, I was
sebenernya aku cuma sebagai dosen biasa. Mengingatkan ya; aku simply serving as lecturer. Reminding them; well actually I didn’t have to do
gak usah ngingetin ya sebenernya juga gapapa karena aku juga gak that but it’s okay because I just didn’t have a heart to be ignorant.
tegaan.
Q18.0 Dila Kamu merasa hubunganmu sudah jauh lebih baik dengan mereka? Have you felt that your relationship getting better with them?
No [Me clarifying; Masih belum? Meskipun kamu sudah mulai No [Me clarifying; Not yet? Eventhough you can already start to adapt?]
merasa bisa beradaptasi?] Aku beradapatasi itu aku berdamai When I say I adapt, I mean I make peace with my own self. I resolve my own
dengan diriku sendiri. Aku menyelesaikan amarah-amarahku itu anger. That’s what I do with my self. When I became so angry last time, that
udah sama diriku sendiri aja. Justru aku marah yang muntab terakhir was because of the acrediattion stuffs, and also about the Bridging
itu memang rapat akre, terus kayaknya persiapan bridging preparation. I got so angry in a forum, I pointed at people, I mean I was
sebelumnya. Itu kan aku di depan forum, nunjuk-nunjuk orang, addressing some people directly. And then after that, I contemplated and I
maksudnya itu aku addressing ke beberapa orang yang ini tugasmu thought I was so rude and wasted my energy, I thought u had become so
kamu harusnya mengerjakan ini. Dan dua orang yang aku begitukan. uncivilized by talking that way. And so after that, I tried to –in case I got
Terus habis itu aku pikir, oh aku gak sopan gomong kayak gitu dan mad- I didn’t realy think of it. I remember exactly that –previousely- no
aku waste my energy dan aku jadi kepikiran duh aku gak civil banget matter how angry I became, I didn’t show it infront of people here
toh ngomong kayak gitu. Terus yaudah semenjak saat itu aku [indicating LTC; as we were having the interview at LTC] or people at home.
mencoba kalau seumpamanya mangkel yo, yawes kayak gitu. While with them, I couldn’t relate to their excuses any longer. That’s why I
Sampai kemarin aku inget banget lho miss aku sebelum-sebelumnya, toldd them regarding the Bridging program, and I still remember that time
semangkel-mangkelnya, aku itu mangkel gak di depan mereka aku was when PBI had done it, other prodis had also done it at the beginning of
mangkel itu di sini [indicating LTC; as we were having the interview the semester. And then finally this is what happen, mis; when everything
at LTC] atau di rumah. Yang kemarin itu aku udah gak bisa lagi me- had become so late –and so after that- everyone agreed to do it early at the
relate excuses gitu loh. Makanya aku sudah bilangin yang kemarin beginning of the semester for the following semester. Hence I had my hope
bridging, dan aku itu inget banget waktu aku ngasih tau ya PBI itu up that the next semester would be better; it would be better-prepared.
udah gini lho terus prodi lain itu juga sudah tau kalau awal semester But, it turned out to be a complete failure: owh, the time had been so strict”
mereka sudah bridging. Terus kan gini miss, waktu kemarin sudah I became so angry.
terlambat tho -terus habis itu apa namanya- terus dikasih tau besok
ya yang semester depan itu kita diawal semester. Aku kan terus
berharap kalau semester depan akan lebih baik nih pelaksanaanya gitu
loh; akan lebih dipersiapkan. Tapi jadinya kemarin malah gak ingat
sama sekali “wah mepet banget ya” yah emosi lah aku.
Q18.i Dila Jadi secara hubungan sebenernya semuanya sama saja hanya saja So, in terms of your relationship with The Department, it actually remains
kamu sudah lebih tenang, hatinya itu? the same but it is your heart which has been more at ease, your heart right?
Uke Aku masih put boundaries dan sampai sekarang itu masih belum I still put boundaries and even until now I still have the same thing in mind
berubah pikiran bahwa aku gak mau dekat secara personal. [Me that I don’t want to get close to them personally. [Me cutting; you still feel
cutting; Masih itu?] Iya masih. Udahlah kita kerja, kerja aja rusanku that way?] Yes, I do. Well, let’s just work; between me and them is all about
sama urusan mereka itu adalah urusan pekerjaan, udah gitu aja. Aku work only. That’s it. I still haven’t changed my mind to intervere their life. I
masih belum berubah pikiran ntuk cawe-cawe kehidupan mereka just need to know that ‘okay, their children were sick so I assumed they
kayak apa. Aku cuman butuh tau bahwa oke anaknya sakit berarti dia couldn’t come. I have to tolearate those kinds of things. But still I have no
gak bisa datang ke tempat kerja we situ harus ditoleransi. Tapi aku plan to involve myself further to that life.
masih tidak berencana untuk involve myself further to that life.
Q19.0 Dila Kemudian dengan segala macam perubahan dan yang sudah kamu And with all of the changes you have been through, are you positive that
lalui, kamu semester ini positif gak akan jauh lebih baik dihal apapun this semester won’t be too different both in terms of your relationship with
hubunganmu dengan Departemen atau pelaksanaan kelasmu atau The Department as well as with your class or any other things?
yang lainnya?
Uke Kalau yang di kelas aku sebenernya excited. Excited untuk mencoba In terms of the class, I’m actually excited to try new things. New students,
hal baru. Mahasiswa baru, jadi aku masih excited lah. Kalau untuk so I am still kind of excited. But in tersm of The Department, I don’t really
yang prodi aku yawes sudahlah gitu. Ya gimana ya, aku mau give much thought. I mean, what else can do, what else can I hope for?
mengharap seperti apa lagi?
Q19.i Dila Perubahan dari silabus yang kamu sekarang bikin itu major atau Do you make major or minor revision for the latest version of syllabus?
minor atau?
Uke ya 50:50 lah. Sebenarnya yo major ya. Well 50:50 I guess it’s pretty much major changes.
Q19.ii Dila Tapi intinya ya positif karna ini kan berarti kelas ketiga yah? Jadi But, you try to remain positive because this would be my third grammar
sudah akan lebih baik yah? class, right? So it should be better, don’t you think so?
Uke Yah aku sih berharapnya begitu Well, I hope so.
Q19.iii Dila Pelajaran apa yang paling kamu ambil dari yang pelaksanaan What lesson that you learned from the last class as a revision for the next
kemarin ntuk perbaikan semester ini? class?
Uke Assignment-nya tidak harus memberatkanku. [Me clarifying; The assignment, I think it got me burdenned. [Me clarifying; burdened you?]
memberatkanmu?] Soalnya yang pertama itu kan written feedback. Because, on the first Grammar class I used written feedback. Woah, it was
Wah, aku satu jurnal lho miss, satu satu kan aku kasih feedback meski like for one journal -ms- I have to give feedback for each one of them; it
itu waste time waste energy. Meskipun itu hasilnya memang wasted my time -wasted my energy. Eventhough the result is preety good.
lumayan. Terus yang kemarin itu aku keep up dengan idealisme ku While for the last semester, it was difficult for me to keep up with my own
sendiri itu sulit. Besok itu mau lebih broad lagi, lebih kasih mereka idealism. Next semester I would make it borader, I would give them more
kebebasan untuk baca dan assessment nya itu yang tidak feedom to read ans the assessment won’t be too burdening for them
memberatkan mereka dan tidak memberatkanku. neither for me.
Q19.iv Dila Bukannya kemarin juga assessment nya kalau sejauh yang tak I think, personally based on my observation, the assessments were not that
observe juga gak berat-berat amat ya? burdening; Don’t you think?
Uke Iya ya? Aku soalnya masih ngecekin satu-satu gitu loh miss. [Me Owh yeah? Because I indeed checked them one by one. [Me clarifying; so
clarifying; Jadi load-nya mungkin ya? Bukan level of difficulty-nya? do you possibly mean the load? Not the level of difficulty? Is it about the
Mungkin disini itu adalah load-nya] Iya, maksudku dengan tidak load instead?] Yes, that’s what I mean by burdening, in terms of the load,
memberatiku itu adalah secara load, secara jumlah. [Me; the numbers. [Me; the quantity?] Yes [Me confirming; Owh, I see. The
kuantitinya?] Iya [Me confirming; oh I see. Aktivitasnya dikurangi, activity and the assessment will be reduced]. I think so. I mean, I want them
assessment nya dikurangi] Kayaknya sih gitu. Maksudnya aku pingin not to implicitely practice. And eventhough it’s burdening they know that it
mereka fun-fun aja, yang di assess gak sadar, ya maksudnya sadar has meaning. So, when they feel a burden, it’s okay as long as they know
tapi mereka tidak yang terlalu berlatih gitu loh. Ataupun kalau berat
mereka tau itu bahwa ada meaning-nya. Jadi ya berat itu gapapa what it is for. While with the previouse class, I was still figuring that out.
karena aku tau ini untuk apa gitu. Nah itu masih nyari-nyari, makanya That’s whay it took long.
lama kan.
Q19.v Dila Belum jadi sampai sekarang? You haven’t finished it yet?
Uke Belum [Me noting; RPS nya belum ya?] Belum, masih raw banget dan Not yest [Me noting; You haven’t finished the RPS?] Not yet, it is still very
masih beberapa poin gitu, cuma poin-poin tok dan itu aku baru dapat raw and some are still points, simply bulleted points, and I only found one
dari satu source. source so far.
Q19.vi Dila Kalau yang pertama 2017 kemarin, kan kamu tidak puas sama sekali With the first class on 2017, you were not satisfied at all with what you’d
dengan apa yang kamu lakukan -tidak senang sama sekali, tidak done –not at all, not happy at all. And with the second one you said “at leat
bahagia sama sekali. Kemudian yang kedua kemarin kamu bilang ya I’ve tried” although, still, you are not happy with that. [Uke clarifying; You’re
“at least aku sudah mencoba” meskipun belum bahagia juga. [Uke talking about the class, aren’t you?] Yes, the class. Then, how high is your
clarifying; Ini di kelas toh maksudnya?] Iya yang di kelas. Kemudian expectation with the next class? If you can illustrate it; because you’ve
yang ini untuk besok ekspektasimu setinggi apa? kalau bisa lerned much; haven’t you?
digambarkan karena kamu sudah belajar banyak juga ya.
Uke Aku kepinginnya besok melihat mereka merasa bahwa masuk ke I want to later see them have feeling that going to English class is not a
kelas bahasa inggris itu bukan sebuah beban. Udah itu aja. [Me burden. As simple as that. [Me repeating; Only that? That’s your main goa?]
repeating; Itu? Itu tujuan utamanya] Itu sebenernya, habis kelas Actually, after the Conversation class (the class on the following semester
conversation itu, aku melihat mereka lebih engaged menurutku after the Grammar class), I see that they became more engaged and
kemarin happy sekali, ya gak happy sekali, dengan kelas conversation seemed to be so happy -well, probably not very happy- but happy with the
itu. Conversation class.
Q19.vii Dila Kamu happy dan mereka happy? You were happy and they were happy?
Uke I knew that. Karena kayak yang pertama itu food itu idealis bahwa I knew that. Because, say for example, the first topic was food and they
mereka harus tau makanan itu tidak hanya sekedar makanan dan were so idealistic to the extent that they had to present ‘that’ particular
waktu mereka presentasi itu bagus-bagus. Mereka sendiri itu food instead of randomly chose the food. And so their presentations were
menemukan hal-hal yang mereka gak tau dan aku juga surprise. great. They discovered something that they didn’t know before, and I was
Kayak contohnya -aku udah cerita belum ya- contohnya adalah Kolak also surprised. The example was –have I told you this before?- Kolak Pisang
Pisang. Kolak itu adalah yang menemukan Wali Songo sebagai salah (Banana Compote). Kolak was invented by Wali SOngo as one among other
satu media untuk ceramah. Kolak itu asal katanya dari Kholiq; Tuhan. media for preaching. Kolak was derived from Kholiq; meaning God. So,
Jadi waktu makan itu ingat Tuhan. Itu untukku adalah sesuatu hal when you eat ut, you will be reminded of God. That kind of thing for me is
yang kecil sih memang, tapi mereka menemukan sesuatu by something small indeed, but they did discovered something by themselves
themselves dan kemudian bisa di share ke temen-temen nya itu aku and could also share it to their friends. I was so happy for that. And I know
happy banget. Dan aku tau mereka tau kalau aku happy. Jadi kami that they know I was happy. So we were like, happiness is by making other
itu kayak happiness itu saling menghappykan orang lain. [Me people happy. [Me interrupting; You mean contagious?] Yes, contagious.
interrupting; Contagious gitu ya?] Iya contagious. Bikin itinerary. Another example; making itinerary. Thing beyond my expectation was, I
Yang diluar ekspektasiku itu adalah aku itu cuma ngeblok untuk tiga was only allocated it for three meetings; up to meeting 4/5. For the
meeting aja, itu sampai 4/5 meeting. Bikin itinerary miss. Tapi itu itinerary, ms. But they made the itinerary so authentically. You receive 20
itinerary yang beneran. Kamu dapat 20 juta ya, jadi kalau kamu ke million, and then you want to travel to Asia, or Europe; so the amount of
negara area Asia, mau ke Eropa, nah itu duitnya beda-beda toh miss. money is dfferent, ms. So, then I gave you 20 million to travel to Korea. And
Nah habis itu tak kasih kamu 20 juta mau ke Korea ya? Mereka itu they did their research seriusely. SO thei tried to look for a real ticket until
nyari beneran. Jadi nyari tiket beneran, sampai hampir mau booking they booked the ticket to see the actual price. They also had the schedule;
tiket itu lho kan keluar harganya. Ada jadwalnya terus, kamu mau where you want to go, they had to also know what to do there, how many
kemana, mau ke daerah mana itu harus tau dulu mereka mau minutes it takes to go there, what transportation to take, where the hotel
ngapain disitu, terus jaraknya berapa menit, mau naik apa, will be, why chose the hotel – they made it so detailed. And they were
nginepnya di mana, ngapain nginep disitu, that detaiedl. Dan mereka happy when they were presenting it. I was also happy, although the part
itu happy waktu presentasi. Aku juga happy, walaupun aku bosennya which got me bored was when they made the informations as tables. But,
adalah kan bentuknya kadang-kadang kayak table. Ya cuman aku u still enjoyed the process and they also appeared to enjoy the process too.
enjoy by the process dan mereka terlihat enjoy by the process too. because when they were talking to their friends they said “You must have
Karena waktu sama teman-temannya “jangan-jangan pakai yang ini, used this one, that’s why it’s expensive. How about using this one” See, told
mahal, kalau pakai yang ini aja gimana? Tu kita nginepnya disini aja you, why not choosing this hotel instead? How aout booking this one?”
karena harganya ini lho ada breakfast-nya yang ini gak ada” ya gitu- things like that, ms.
gitu lah miss.
Q20.0 Dila Overall, one last question, setelah mengalami semua proses ini dari Overall, one last question, after experiencing all of these process from the
awal sampai sejauh ini, kamu merasa lebih lengkap gak? Kalau very beginning until so far, do you feel more completed? Last time you were
kemarin kan kamu selalu bilang kayaknya kamu itu hampa, saying that you felt empty, that you were not happy doing that, let alone
kemudian saaat melakukan itu ku gak happy banget dengan hidupku with the environment there. So far, have you felt completed yet?
apalagi keadaan di sana. Nah kalau sampai sejauh ini kamu sudah
merasa lebih lengap gak?
Uke Iya, aku merasa lebih content karena aku sudah mulai berdamai Yes, I feel I become more contented for I have made peace with my own
dengan diriku sendiri kan. Sebenernya kan yang di kelas dan prodi self. Actually the class and the prodi are somehow separated, somehow
itu somehow separated, somehow related. Jadi kalau yang satunya related. So, when one happen to be in a good condition, it will affect the
pas kondisinya baik itu mempengaruhi yang lain itu memang iya. other one. It is true. But, they somehow merged naturally, and some other
Cuman ya gitu, memang kadang-kadang menyatu dengan time were separated.
sendirinya, kadang-kadang terpisah.
Q20.i Dila Yang paling melengkapimu adalah … The one that complete you the most was ..
Uke Ya itu aku berdamai dengan diriku sendiri miss. Like what I said, I made peace with my own self ms.
Q20.ii Dila Iya, kamu berdamai dengan dirimu sendiri itu apa yang menginisiasi Yes, you made peace with your own self; but what had initiated the peace?
perdamaian itu? Menurutmu, apakah kamu - [Uke cutting; Apa ya?] In your opinion, do you [Uke cutting; What is it?] You were saying that you
Kalau kamu kemarin kan bilang banyak sekali kekosongan dalam had so many emptiness in your life, just like how you’d stopped practicing
hidupmu, kayak kamu udah gak ikut aikido lagi- Aikido – [unfnished]
Uke Kalau yang itu aku sekarang masih belum bisa ikut latihan. Cuman I still stop practicing Aikido even until know. But I am now becoming more
lebih aku tau bahwa aku gerasa lebih content karena -apa ya- aku aware that I do feel contented. Because –how to say this- I feel okay now.
merasa lebih udah gapapa. [Me clarifying; Tenang ya?] Ya tenang. [Me clarifying; at peace?] Well, things like that. Last semester I was more
Semester kemarin itu aku lebih banyak –lebih banyak, gimana on –more likely in any way- making ways to console myself, ‘it’s to be that
caranya- nyeneng-nyenengke awakku dewe gitu; ‘udah kayak gitu way’
tuh gapapa.’
Q20.iii Dila Sekarang beneran gapapa? Now, do you really completely feel fine?
Uke Belum, itu kan menurutku kan masih continues ya. Cuman aku tau Not yet, I think the process still continue. But now I know how I should react
aku harus ngapain gitu loh miss. Kalau seumpamanya pas aku marah, on the situation, ms. Whever I got angry, when I was feeling down, feeling
pas aku down, pas aku kecewa, atau ngapain, pas aku takut; aku itu dissapinted, what I should do; I already know the frame of how I should get
udah tau frame seperti apa yang harus aku bangun. Kemudian untuk back on my knees. And then for –well, quite sometimes- I would feel
-ya selama waktu tertentu- aku akan gak enak, terus habis itu –terus- incomfortable, but then I can get back up. Last itme, I was almost still trying
bisa bangun lagi. Kalau yang kemarin itu, almost masih nyari-nyari to figure things out, I still coulndt accept the reality. Now I am starting to
ya, masih gak terima gitu dengan keadaan. Sekarang ya sudah bisa accept the condition, just let it be, because I was also reminded by friends.
mulai menerima ya, yaweslah, karena kan aku juga diingetin toh Some were reminding me that ‘your frequency has been changed, you can’t
miss, maksudnya temen-temen itu ingetin bahwa kamu force people like that’. They were my friends, some were reminding me of
frekuensinya itu udah beda, gak bisa kamu maksa-maksain kayak that, that it indeed would be difficult.
gitu, mereka itu. Iya, temen-temen ngingetin juga kok, kalau
memang sulit.
Dila Sip, thank you, terima kasih Great, thank you, thank you.
Uke Sama-sama You’re welcome.
Dila Mungkin kalau ada yang perlu diklarifikasi saya hubungi ya In case I need some further clarification I will contact you.
Uke Siap That’s fine.
Dila Makasih Bu Uke Thank you, ms Uke.
Uke Sama-sama You’re welcome.

Interview Guidelines Nar Inq

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PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI

DISCOVERING GRAMMAR THROUGH EXTENSIVE READING:

The Graduate Program in English Language Studies

Kurniawati Nur Fadhilah

Sanata Dharma University

fog5,akarta, 27 lawtwri -:020

STATEMENT OF WORK’S ORIGINALITY

full consequences including degree cancellation if she took somebody’s ideas,

phrases, sentences without proper references.

Yogyakarta, January 10th, 2020

Kurniawati Nur Fadhilah

LEMBAR PERNYATAAN PERSETUJUAN PUBLIKASI KARYA

Nama : Kurniawati Nur Fadhilah

Demi pengembangan ilmu pengetahuan, saya memberikan kepada perpustakaan

DISCOVERING GRAMMAR THROUGH EXTENSIVE READING: A

Demikian pernyataan ini saya buat dengan sebenarnya.

Kurniawati Nur Fadhilah

First and foremost, I would like to express my gratitude to Allah subhanahu

valuable education at The Graduate Program of English Language Studies of Sanata

with the plan of me contributing myself to humankind.

Graduate Program of English Language Studies of Sanata Dharma University.

guidance, constructive feedback, and motivation, I’ve learned a lot.

To my participant, my friend, and my college –Lanoke Intan Paradita- thank

Soon, the better days will come; inshaAllah.

higher education here at The Graduate Program of English Language Studies of

Yogyakarta, January 2020

Kurniawati Nur Fadhilah

4. Making a telling from the told (inferring story). ...................................58

Table 1. Initial Interview Guide …………………………………………………52

Table 2. Uke’s Conferences and Workshops in ER ……………………………..92

Table 3. ER principles and the activities ……………………………………….137

Table 4. Activities for grammar discovery ……………………………………..142

Figure 1. The vicious circle of the weak reader …………………………………23

Figure 2. The virtuous circle of the good reader ………………………………...23

Figure 3. Hierarchy of experience ……………………………………………….40

Figure 4. Framework of Pre-understanding ……………………………………..43

Figure 5. Observation’s archival data & artifacts ……………………………….53

Figure 6. Modified Version of Mishler’s Typology: Methods and Narrative

Picture 1. Uke’s cubicle …………………………………………………………65

Picture 2. Uke and Gayam 16 …………………………………………………...75

Picture 3. Uke and Aikido ………………………………………………………76

Picture 4. Happy English Days with Arts and Songs …………………………...87

Picture 5. Uke and 2019 IERA Roadshow ……………………………………...94

Picture 6. Reading Graded Readers ……………………………………………100

Picture 7. Reading Activity …………………………………………………….101

Picture 8. Membaca Bersama Library …………………………………………102

Picture 9. ER Gathering 1 ……………………………………………………...103

Picture 10. ER Gathering 2 …………………………………………………….105

Kurniawati Nur Fadhilah (2020). Discovering Grammar through Extensive

In the decade of my teaching experience in both various levels of

Keywords: lived experience, grammar, discovery learning, Extensive Reading,

Kurniawati Nur Fadhilah (2020). Discovering Grammar through Extensive

Dalam satu dekade pengalaman mengajar saya di beberapa jenjang institusi

Kata kunci: pengalaman hidup, tata bahasa, pembelajaran penemuan, Extensive

It was back in 2009 to 2013 during my early career as an English teacher at

seemingly lacking English teaching-learning classrooms in regards to the most

commonly practiced teaching methodology. Although the curriculum has defined

encountered obstacles in the success of achieving these communication skills would

English teachers have themselves. The number of materials to be delivered when

comprehension of the necessary language features to be tested. Also, teachers tend

to deliver the materials declaratively as they themselves, ironically, found it

difficult to express themselves well in English. Thus, teachers frequently switch to

teachers having a lack of proficiency in English throughout his observation when

refers to Coleman (2009, p. 7) whose report on the English proficiency of