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unto fountains of living waters, and God shall wipe away all
tears from their eyes.'"
Oh, that last embrace! I dare not dwell upon it! It was too
much for Amice, who fell back fainting. I called Mother
Gertrude, who was already astir, and together we revived
her. Then Mother Gertrude, seeing, I suppose, by my looks,
how much I was overcome, gave me a composing drink and
sent me to bed. I was long in falling asleep, but I did at
last, and when I waked all was over. I heard afterward how
it was. Seeing that Amice was clearly near her end, the
Sisters were assembled in her room, as usual, for the last
rite.
Then she spoke with a clear and plain voice, declaring that
having had her mind enlightened by Holy Scripture, and as
she believed also by light from on high, she did utterly
contemn and repudiate all worship and honor of images and
pictures, all prayers to our Lady and the Saints, and all trust
whatever for salvation in forms and ceremonies, in
penances, indulgences, or any such toys; placing her hopes
of salvation upon Christ alone. Having said which, (but
mentioning naught of Magdalen Jewell's escape,) she
repeated in a clear voice and with (as Sister Placida told
me,) a countenance more like a beatified Saint than a dying
heretic, these words from the Psalm: "Into thy hands I
commend my spirit, for thou hast redeemed me, O Lord,
thou God of truth."
And then sinking back and clasping her hands, she yielded
up the ghost.
I had just waked from my long and heavy sleep, and was
striving to collect my thoughts and calm my throbbing head,
when Sister Catherine burst in on me with the news that
Amice was gone; and after recounting the manner of her
death, added that now one might see what came of
favoritism and book-learning, and court preferment; and
thanking the Saints, as usual, for her lowly station and for
the grace of humility which they had vouchsafed to obtain
for her. She added, that as the bosom friend and confident
of that lost heretic, I should doubtless be severely dealt by,
and adjured me to make a full confession and recantation,
as in that case I might be let off with perpetual
imprisonment.
I was very much better, and able to sit up some hours and
work a little, when, one day, I was aware of a somewhat
unusual bustle in the house, and by-and-by Mother Superior
and Mother Placida came to me.
"I will leave you together!" said Mother Superior's voice, still
sounding as in a dream. Then came a warm hand laid on
mine and a kiss pressed on my forehead. At last I opened
mine eyes. They fell on a very pleasant object—a lady of
about my own mother's age, but perhaps handsomer,
though in a different way—somewhat dark, with a beautiful
color, bright brown eyes and well-marked eyebrows—the
whole visage bearing the marks of a keen, clear-sighted but
withal kindly disposition. The dress was rich, but sober and
matronly. I looked long and as it were in a kind of
bewilderment, till with a kindly smile, "Well, child, take a
good look at me!" she said. "Do I look like a monster, or the
cruel step-dames in the ballads?"
"I see—I see!" she interrupted. "Did you not know, then?
Your father sent letters more than two weeks before us."
"Why, that's well," said he; then changing his tone, "but
what have they been doing to you, child? Why, you are but
the ghost of yourself!"
"I have been very ill, dear father," I answered. "I have had
a long fever which lasted many weeks, and from which
nobody thought I would rise again."
"And are you then so ready to leave old friends for new,
Rosamond?" said Mother Superior, reproachfully. "Your
mother who gave you to this holy house would hardly have
approved such readiness to leave it."
I saw Mother Superior's eye kindle, for she too hath a spark
of temper, and I dreaded some unpleasant debate, but my
step-dame interposed, and by I know not what gentle and
honeyed words of courtesy, she managed to avert the
storm. She urged my evidently failing health, her own want
of my assistance, and the need of my seeing somewhat of
the world before making my profession; and finally, I hardly
know how, 'twas settled that I should go home for a while.
I could have sung for joy. True, I felt it would be a trial for
me to see a strange lady, be she ever so well conditioned,
in my dear mother's place, and ruling where she ruled; and
I had also some fears as to how Harry would take the
change, and I foresaw trouble with Mrs. Prudence. But all
was swallowed up in the overwhelming joy of going home.
Ever since Amice died, the house hath seemed to me like a
prison, as if I had no space to move and no air to breathe.
We were to leave that afternoon and travel by short stages,
as my weakness would permit. Before I left, I had a long
audience with Mother Superior, who mourned over me as
over a tender lamb going forth in the midst of wolves. She
gave me much council as to how I should behave—how I
should seclude myself as far as possible from all worldly
society, specially men's society, and, above all, I should
keep aloof from my cousin if any chance threw him in my
way. I was to remember always that I was the same as a
vowed and cloistered nun, and to observe always the rules
of my Heavenly Bridegroom's house, recollecting the
examples of those saints who had set at naught father and
mother, friends and children, for the sake of a religious life;
and she told me of a lady, formerly a nun in this house, who
being a widow with three children, left them to whoever
would care for them, and betook herself to the convent; and
when the eldest son, a lad of some twelve years, threw
himself across the threshold of the door with tears and
besought her not to leave them, she just stepped over his
prostrate body and went her way.
I saw but little of the process, being taken down with a new
access of my fever, which lasted two or three weeks. Harry
told me afterward she had no trouble with anybody but
Prudence and Alice. Alice thought her dignity as a matron,
and the prospects of the baby were injured, by my father's
presuming to take a second wife. She thought he ought to
remain single for the sake of his children; though I don't
think she ever thought of remaining single for his sake.
However, she thinks that is different, and perhaps it may
be, a little.
Harry is thoroughly pleased, and when I hear from him how
matters went on—how Prue tyrannized, and the maids
rebelled, and how uncomfortable the whole household was
made, especially my father, I do not wonder. My Lady being
just what she is, I can honestly say, I am heartily glad of
her coming among us, though I can't but speculate what it
might be if my father had fancied a different kind of woman
—somebody like Sister Catherine, for instance.
[So I did; but before that time came she had passed
through many strange mutations of fortune, having become
first a widow, then a Queen, then a widow again, and at last
a most unhappy wife, when she married Sir Thomas
Seymor, Lord High Admiral, and died in child-bed not long
after. She wrote many excellent pieces, both in prose and
verse, two of which, "The Complaint of a Penitent Sinner,"
and "Prayers and Meditations," I had a present from this
godly and afflicted lady's own hand.]
I have heard not a word from the convent since I left, and
my father will by no means hear of my going back at
present. I am glad of it, for I am very happy at home, and
after what has passed, it does not seem as though I could
ever breathe under that roof again. This home life is so
sweet! I do not see how any vocation can be higher than
that of a wife and mother, blessing and profiting all about
her, as certainly my Lady does. But all homes are not like
mine, I know very well—and then that promise!
CHAPTER XXII.
April 23.
OUR people have come home, with a fine budget of news,
to be sure. First the Pope hath sent a Cardinal named
Campeggio, or some such name, to join with Cardinal
Wolsey, in a commission to try the lawfulness of the King's
marriage with the Queen, and there is to be a court held for
that purpose. Then the Cardinal's favor with the court is
said to be decidedly waning, while that of Mrs. Anne Bullen
is constantly growing. She is now made Marchioness of
Pembroke, forsooth, and her levees are attended by the
nobles of the court, as if she were already queen; and
nobody has any doubt that she will be made queen if the
marriage with her Grace can be dissolved. The viper! I
remember well the mocking tone in which she besought her
Grace not to betray her to the King! My poor, dear mistress!
No wonder she brought her troubles to the shrine of St.
Ethelburga, where I fear, however, she found little comfort.
I will never believe that was the true book of the Gospel
which Mistress Anne gave Amice. It was some work of the
devil, meant to deceive and destroy souls. And yet, when I
recall that last night with my friend, can I think all that
courage, and peace, and assurance, and triumphant joy was
the work of the devil? And if so, who is safe? And where is
Amice now? I dare not think of it! Whichever way I turn all
is confusion, doubt and dread!
The last piece of news is, that my Lord is coming home next
week, and of course Richard with him. It seems a long, and
weary journey for my Lady, with her young son, and the
roads are terribly unsafe. They must be well on their way
now. I must say an additional Hail Mary every day for their
safe arrival. It would be such a terrible misfortune if any
harm should happen to my Lady and her boy.
Besides, I know just what she would say. She does not like
to think or speak of my being a nun, and indeed I think my
father is coming to mislike the notion. I believe I will let
matters take their course. Perhaps if Dick has grown the
fine court Squire that Mistress Bullen said, he will not care
to pay me any attention. I do not believe it any the more
for her saying so.
"I know it will be hard for you, my child," said she, "but
think what your mother would wish in the matter."
All was just as it was left the day of her funeral; even the
flowers I had gathered, lay dried, and cobwebbed on her
toilet-table.
"And where does this door lead?" asked my lady, after we
had unbarred the shutters, and opened the windows.
And I found the key where I knew she kept it, in a box on
the chimney. We opened the door of the little turret room,
not without difficulty, for the lock was rusted and moved
stiffly, but open it we did at last. It was but a small place.
There was an altar and crucifix, of course, and before them
on the floor lay a rough hard mat, rough enough of itself,
and strewed with sharp flints to make it the harder. On the
step lay a discipline of knotted cords, mingled with wire,
and stained here and there, as if by blood. I had never
thought of my dear mother as using such penances, and my
blood ran cold at the sight of these things. I glanced at my
step-dame, and saw her face full of indignation and pity.
"Woe unto them, for they have made sorrowful the souls of
the righteous, whom God hath not made sorrowful!" she
murmured, as if she had forgotten my presence. "Woe to
the false shepherds who oppress the sheep! 'Lord, how
long, how long shall the ungodly triumph?'" Then seeming
to remember me—"Rosamond, we will leave these things as
they are, for the present, at least. Let the moles and bats
prey on them, if they will. The day may come, when we will
clear them away."
"You say your mother loved roses?" she said, after I had
admired them. "We will lay one of these in her drawers, and
you shall have the other. And now tell me, Rosamond,
would you like to have this room for your own? I have
spoken on the matter to your father, and he says you may,
if you choose."