Introducing DVA

Credits blend in as the scene plays out.

Atmosphere: Dimmed green-ish lighting, the middle of the room is more lit up to put
emphasis on the tube and _the_ doctor walking towards it,
faces are barely visable due to the light sources being directed at the floor.

Problem 1. Due to the room's simplistic composition, Environment isn't interesting

enough to do establishment shots.

Solution: Doctor NPCs covering up disfigured entities and pushing their beds on
rolls out of the room, other scientists walking around
frantically, checking monitors or gather around the tube

Needs:
Doctor NPCs, disfigured NPCs that function as "failed experiments", cover up (some
sort of tarpaulin) props for "failed experiments",
Pipes for the tube.

Problem 2. Reducing Liquid-levels to reveal Dva for the tube may look cheap as
fuck. Liquid looks flat in general.

Solution: Either use camera angles that hide potential issues or try adding flexes
enabling small movements as the liquid level lowers,

Other fixes: Remove all the textures from the monitors and replace them with light
sources.

Blend in

GADABOUT 2

Once the scene ends with DVa's Face reveal.

---

SFM Session "intro_city" - First meet up between Lisa and Tina

Cut out Shot 1 (establishing Shot), replace with another establishment shot.

From Shot 2 - 19: Entire interaction needs a rework.

Add Copter's rotor movement and copter lifting itself up to leave the city.

Other fixes: Adjust the Bandana's weight painting so it doesn't "stick" to Tina's
head movements

---
SFM Session "Intro_Gasse" - Walrider Slaughter

General Fix : Remove Walrider's blood texture and add blood props for his body in
Blender instead.
Adjust Lighting

Cut out Shot 1.1 (Walrider ripping out the Pipe).

Add a few seconds of either Walrider approaching and/or showing the SWAT unit
checking the environment

Shot 1.2 Swat's turn around is too static

Shot 1.3 Swat's body position pre and post attack makes no sense, camera too static

Shot 2 Rework reaction to the scream of the Swat in the front, camera too static

Shot 3 Camera too static, Show less or nothing of the Swat to put emphasis on the
volumetric lights.

Shot 3.1 Shield needs to be closer to the upper body once he gives the sign, body
posture doesn't look right, movement too static in general

Shot 3.2 Dogshit camera composition, Either pan from Swats approaching to the smoke
or use a different angle, movement-cycle of the swats look
janky

Shot 3.3 Cut the shot in 2, the first should show the Walrider picking up the
corpse in a close up, the 2. is him throwing the corpse.
entirely rework the throw animation. Camera is too static.

Shot 3.4 - 5 No weight at all, cut Shot 5 shorter to fasten up the pace of the
action of Walrider approaching the remaining SWAT Unit

Shot 6 No Weight, shorten the playtime to avoid the SWAT staring at his dead
collegue like a fucking retard for 3 seconds.

Shot 7 Rework the entire thing, instead of crashing into the window, the Swat's
neck could be twisted as a reaction to Walriders attack.

Shot 8 Roll has no weight, make the Swats step back as response reaction to the
walrider approaching them, camera is too static

Shot 9 Could use more playtime due to the danger of Walrider approaching comes
short, Camera either zooms in as Walrider approaches or Walrider comes closer
to the camera, fix attack animation, especially the "haul off", Swat's body has no
weight once he gets hit

Shot 10 Either Delete or fix pistol animation, let it rest on the floor so the Swat
can pick it up, falling animation is way too stale
(especially hips), camera too static

Shot 10.2 No weight

Shit 10.3 Make it more visable that the SWAT drops the shield, add more dynamic to
the back step, make camera more dynamic the last couple
 seconds

Shot 10.4 Frequency of the bullets hitting the torso need to be increased

Shot 10.5 Camera is too static

Shot 10.6 Instead of Walrider frantically and repeatedly hitting the Swat with the
shield, let him breath while he keeps holding the shield,
put more emphasis on the trail of corpses, let the remaining Swat take no
or a smaller part of the composition

Shot 10.7 Head of the Swat doesn't react properly, add blood puddle flexes, add
blood drops from the shield, Walrider's turn around is
too static, apply the bullet wounds on Walrider's torso in Blender instead
of locking them in SFM

Shot 10.9 Pistol too static on last impact on the floor, maybe add a 1-2 seconds of
SWATs Face as reaction to the Walrider not giving
a fuck about the wounds

Shot 11.1 - 14 Cut and Rework the entire sky jump bullshit. Make the Walrider chase
the Swat instead.

---

SFM Session "Intro_Gasse2" - Tina and Lisa arrive

General fix : Tina's breast jiggle clip through her clothing (check sessions of
other PC's HDD if issue remains)

Shot 16 Rework Walk

Shot 17 Camera too static when Tina shoots her revolver

Shot 18.1 Smooth out Lisa's lips

Shot 18.3 Tina's lips are too frantic

Shot 18.14 - 18.7 Rework the dialogue. 18.6 Tina's Hand is too floaty.

Shot 18.91 Correct Walrider's fingers in the end of the shot

Shot 18.92 Tina's Grab is too floaty

Shot 18.94 Impact is too snappy, Rework the impact of the bullet, including the
blood particle system (or just remove it instead)

Shot 18.95 His hand needs another reaction after hitting the floor for the first
time, his hand looks like it's not "resting" on the floor,
same thing for his lower body

Shot 18.96 Cut that shit out, replace it with Lisa reacting to the Walrider
bleeding out on the floor.

Shot 18.97 Tina's lips do not look right as she blows out the gun, her lips are too
frantic when she delivers the line, leave more space between
 her ending the line and her turning around, rework the last line

Shot 18.98 Tina's ass is spazzing out (check the alternative session)

Shot 18.982 Give Lisa space to react, her animation is too floaty

Shot 18.99 Lips too snappy

Shot 20 Walrider is getting up to quick after suffering from his.. spastics.

Shot 22 Walrider runs like nothing happened before, let him stumble a bit before he
begins to run like Usain bolt

---

SFM Session "Fullforest" - Walrider escaping into the forest

General fixes : Adjust lighting to the bluish monochromatic atmosphere as seen in

later sessions

Shot 1 It's not really visually clear that Walrider jumps into the water

Shot 3 Give Walrider time to show exhaustion, let him breath and then slowly
witness what's unfolding in front of him

Shot 7 Correct the map, especially water (see later sessions)

Shot 9 Red light of the copter is too bright

Shot 10 Let the copter "bounce" after giving it a more abrupt landing. Rework the
entire Walrider animation, cut this shot into multiple ones, showing Walrider
approaching the Window from a closer, different camera angle

Shot 11 Rework the line

(optional) After Shot 13 Add a shot of Lisa giving a bit of an annoyed reaction to
Tina's carelessness

---

SFM Session "building1" - Tina confronting Walrider

General fix : Adjust lighting (check later sessions)

Shot 2 Delete Tina's jump in the background, instead flash it out by directly
showing it in another shot

Shot 3-8 Rework entire monologue

Shot 7 correct camera composition to put emphasis on the knife

Shot 8 Rework animation

---

SFM Session "Consciousness" - Walrider takes over again

General fixes : Delete the pile of corpses, replace them with the correct amount in
the latest "consciousness" session

Shot 10 - 14 Rework monologue

---

SFM Session "Building2" - Tina defeated

General fixes - apply lighting from Shot 36 to the previous shots

Add shot between 19 and 20, where Tina gets caught a little off guard as Walrider
moves his body again

Shot 21 Walrider gets up too fast, his attack isn't visable, Tina dodging said
attack isn't visable. Either cut the Shot in two and show
the dodge from a different angle or use a different angle for the entire
shot.

Shot 22 - 26 The action happens way too fast, especially Walrider in 22 and Tina in
26.

Shot 30 Mouth is too frantic

Shot 31 Make camera a bit more shakey

Shot 35 Make the shot a bit longer

Shot 39-40 Rework Monologue or make the whole dick massaging thing shorter and cut
the monologue out

Shot 43 Tina's hand is too floaty when she looses grip of the dick, same with her
left leg,
liquids partly clip through Tina's lips, dick partly clips through Tina's
lips

Shot 44 Rework liquids, more weight to Walrider pulling out

Shot 45 More weight to Walrider pulling Tina up, Tina's reaction needs correction

Shot 46 Tina's arms need to be stretched out, adjust Walrider's collars to the pull

Shot 47 More space before he pushes in, fix bandana

---

SFM Session "building3" - Walrider ravaging Tina's face and tits

Shot 48 Fix Tina's arms

Shot 50 more weight to the throw

Shot 51 stretch out the shot to give the Walrider some time to make his jump
towards tina

Shot 53-58 Rework or cut out the entire monologue

Shot 63 Turn the teal light to blue

Shot 68 Rework cum, damp walrider's last push into Tina's mouth

Shot 69 Rework cum, don't use jiggle bones

---

SFM Session "Forest" - Dva approaching

General fix - turn teal lighting into blue

Shot 1 jump cut from Tina getting cum dumped is too abrupt.

---

SFM Session "Forest3" - Lisa calling for help

General fix - turn teal lighting into blue

Shot 8 - 16 Rework the dialogue

Shot 8 Lisa face should look more worried due to the situation, which doesn't come
across in this shot. Her chewing her nails is off looking
as well. Cut out the windy effect of the hair, leave more space between the
voice from the radio and Lisa reacting to it

Shot 13 Reposition the water prop, Dva's left hand is off

Shot 14 Lisa's right hand is off

Shot 15 This perspective is just confusing because it should either show Lisa's
reaction (face, body language, whatever) or the radio call
being ended (just turning off the light course). Just showing her back
doesn't tell us anything about the situation.

Shot 16 Hand is off, correct the blood a bit or leave it out entirely, cam could
need some shakeyness

Shot 17 Intital frames before she attempts to throw the transmitter needs rework

---

SFM Session "Forest4" - Dva aproaches Lisa

General fix - turn teal lighting into blue, Reposition water prop

Between 17-18 Another shot should be added showing Lisa's reaction, maybe asking
who she is and what she's doing here.,
Camera is too static

Shot 19 Coat is too distracting, emphasis should be put on her black feet revealing
to Lisa that she's a freak like Wally

Shot 20 Give Lisa more time to process the situation

Shot 22 Lisa's hand is off

Between 22 - 23 Add a Shot showing Lisa pulling the gun out of her jacket

Shot 23 the gun shot gives no indication of a recoil at all, fix upper body when
shooting

Shot 25 Needs rework, almost nothing is correct here

Shot 26 - 31 Entire dialogue is absolute dogshit

Shot 28 Keep Lisa's hands still

Shot 30 Facial expression is way too tame for receiving a fat needle in the neck

Shot 31 Cut the shot in two, the former showing Dva's hand injecting the "juice"
into Lisa's Neck

Between 31 - 32 Add Lisa's reaction from her being in pain to realization the
situation and initiating to fight back

Shot 32 CUT, replace with Lisa initiating to fight Dva

Shot 33 More space between first and second attack, give more of an impression that
Lisa is getting weaker with every move due
to the injection

Shot 34 Give Dva more of a scheming and vindicated expression

Shot 36 Rework Lisa's line, I don't know what the fuck the last couple of seconds
are supposed to show

Shot 37 Make Dva grab Lisa's ass in a more forceful way so she pulls Lisa up to be
able to kiss her

Shot 38 Rework

Shot 40 probably too early for ahegao

Shot 41 could use more weight

Shot 42 Lisa's top doesn't look right, Lisa's upper body doesn't convey at all that
her body is weakening due to the injection

Shot 42 - 46 Rework or remove the dialogue.

Shot 45 Lisa's upper body is too tensed up

---
SFM Session "Forest5" - Dva is freeing Lisa from her unecessary clothing

General fixes - turn teal lighting into blue (check shot 53 and following!)

Shot 47 let Dva's hands slide down Lisa's upper body to have a better transition of
her stripping down her skirt, Hands are
very floaty

Shot 50 Initiation, throw and impact need to be corrected

Shot 53 Cut out the line, give Dva a more sinister expression and make the shot
shorter

---

SFM Session "Forest6" - Dva is going down on Lisa

Shot 56 Rework or cut out the lines

Shot 58 Shot is missing due to Windows spazzing out back then, the images are saved
in the sequence folder though

Shot 59 Make it longer

Shot 63 Lisa's Shirt is quite messy, fix the disappearing button

Shot 66 More space between Dva eating Lisa out to stopping said action, more weight
to Dva dropping Lisa's legs

---

SFM Session "Forest 7" - Reveal of the parasites

Shot 66 - 72 Rework dialogue

Shot 72 Cut and replace with Lisa reacting to the parasites

---

SFM Session "1 - tina x walrider"

Shot 76 cut out the line

Shot 77 weird camera composition and lense

---

SFM Session "2 - Dva x Lisa"

Shot 78 fix Dva's coat, upper body, hair, right hand, hips, Thrusts are too snappy,
Lisa's shirt is clipping

Shot 80 adjust parasites in the beginning of the shot, fix Lisa's butt

Shot 79 - 80 Rework lines or cut it out

---

SFM Session "3 - Tina x Walrider 2"

Shot 82 Replace with basic loop (check previous txw session)

Shot 86 Rework the line

Shot 85 Fix Tina's legs

Shot 86 Reduce amplitude of Tina's upper body so is more in frame with the emphasis
on her tits and face

---

SFM Session "5 - Dva x Lisa 2"

Shot 92 - 95 Rework or cut monologue

---

SFM Session "6 - Tina x Walrider 3"

Shot 99 Rework, use regular loop (see previous txw2 session)

Shot 100 Tina is moving around to much, facial expression is inconsistent to

previous shots

Shot 102 Let Walrider take his time to pull out, remove the liquids from tina's
ass, maybe rework cumshot

Shot 104 Correct breathing animation, more space/another shot between his breathing
and tina lifting her legs up

Shot 106 Rework or cut out line

Shot 107 cut

Shot 109 rework, make initiation of Walrider freeing himself more clear before he
throws Tina

---

SFM Session "7 - Dva x Lisa 3"

Shot 110 correct Lisa's left hand

Shot 111 let the licks play out more

---

SFM Session "8 - Tina x Walrider 4"

Shot 115 composition is a bit off in the last seconds of the shot

Shot 116 could be longer

Shot 117 could be longer

Shot 118 Initiate transition to the next segment at the end of this shot

---

SFM Session "9 - Dva x Lisa 4"

Shot 119 more aggressive kissing

Shot 120 Cut line

Shot 122 - 123 complete rework, Lisa's upper body has to have a higher up position
so her arms aren't hanging around like that

---

SFM Session "10 - Tina x Walrider 5" (JOIN WITH SESSION 12, CROSS CUTTING MAKES NO
SENSE HERE)

No problems here

---

SFM Session "11 - DVa x Lisa 5" (JOIN WITH SESSION 13, CROSS CUTTING MAKES NO SENSE
HERE)

Shot 131 Lisa's upper thighs look like they received botox treatment. Sex is way
too tame

Shot 133 end segment with Dva pulling Lisa so she looses grip on the copter

---

SFM Session "12 - Tina x Walrider 6"

Shot 134 cut out whatever walrider does with his hand

---

SFM Session "13 - DVa - Lisa 6"

Shot 137 Fix tits

---

SFM Session "14 - Dva - Lisa 7" (Join with Session 13)

No problems

---

SFM Session "15 - Tina x Walrider 7

Shot 141 Make reaction more abrupt

Shot 142 - 143 Plays out too fast

Shot 145 Walrider should resist more in the last seconds

---

SFM Session "16 - DVa x Lisa 8"

General Fix - reposition water prop

Shot 148 - 149 confusing transition

Shot 153 Rework line, reposition water prop

Shot 155 Remove initial facial expression

(maybe) cut 156 and let Dva deliver her line in 155 instead since the cut here
makes not much sense

Shot 164 Drops are glitching, seem fine in the WIP though

Shot 168 More space between initial poses and lifting up Lisa, Lisa's boobs are
odd, let Lisa hang a bit before Dva attempts to attack

Shot 169 More abrupt movement to reveal the claws

Shot 173 $dilation on Dva's eyes, make it a bit longer

Shot 173 - 174 add initiation of Dva throwing Lisa

Shot 174 Composition is super weird

Shot 174 - 179 rework lines

Shot 175 could be longer

Shot 176 could be longer

Shot 177 could be longer

Shot 178 Leave space between Dva approaching Lisa and her picking the gun with her
feet

Shot 179 Dva's head is way too floaty

---

SFM Session "17 - Tina x Walrider 8"

Shot 184 Tina's pelvis doesn't react properly to the grab

Shot 185 More space in the beginning

Shot 186 More space in the beginning

---

SFM Session "18 - Tina x Walrider 9"

Shot 188 Upper body should be hanging in the beginning of the shot

---

SFM Session "19 - Dva x Lisa 9"

General fix - Teal to blue light

Shot 191 copter pedal needs to be in the air for a bit longer after bouncing off
from the last impact

Shot 192 Dva needs to hold Lisa's hands, give Lisa more of a ahegao expression

Shot 194 fix Dva's tits

---

SFM Session "20 - Tina x Walrider 10"

Shot 197 left collar of her top is clipping but seems fine in the WIP

---
SFM Session "21 - Tina x Walrider 11"

Shot 201 Rework line

---

SFM Session "22 - Dva x Lisa 10"

General fix - fix lighting

Shot 202 Lisa's jaw is fucked

---

SFM Session "23 - Tina x Walrider 12"

Shot 212 rework line

Shot 213 switch up material file of the cum prop

---

SFM Session "24 - Dva x Lisa 11"

No problems

---

SFM Session "25 Tina x Walrider 13"

Shot 229 Rework Tina's expressions

---

SFM Session "26 Dva x Lisa 12"

No problems

---

SFM Session "26 Dva x Lisa 13"

No problems
---

SFM Session "26 Dva x Lisa 14"

Shot 259 - 260 rework Lisa cumming and Dva's cums on 260

---

SFM Session "26 Dva x Lisa 15

Shot 263 Add Dva initiating to kick Lisa and let her switch her expression to a
more fierce one

Shot 269 could be longer

Shot 275 make it longer so it does have time to blur out

---

SFM Session "27 Tina x Walrider 14"

No problems

---

SFM Session "28 Tina x Walrider 15"

Shot 290 - 295 cut out all the lines

---

SFM Session "29 Tina x Walrider 16"

Shot 296 - 297 rework or cut out lines

Shot 299 dont let Walrider lift up his head or cut out Shot 301

Shot 304 Make it longer

Shot 308 Rework or cut out line, choke appears too tame, don't let her loos grip
for one second, maybe do more abrupt pushes

Shot 310 Straighten her arms to give the illusion of a more powerful choke

Shot 311 position of her right hand isn't right as she attempt to attack

Shot 312 implement red void or let Wally hit the ground and Tapp "wake up"
---

SFM Session "30 Tina x Walrider 17"

Shot 314 too much blood on Tina's hand

Shot 318.2 cut

Shot 319 Headbutt has no impact at all, maybe split the thing in two on impact
instead

Shot 320 make it longer, give it space before the next shot

---

SFM Session "30 Tina x Walrider 18"

Shot 325-26 Walriders body posture is a bit silly, Tina's top is clipping in 325

---

SFM Session "31 Red Void "

No problems

---

SFM Session "32 Tina x Walrider 19"

Shot 336 make it a bit longer

---

SFM Session "33 Red void 2 "

No problems

---

SFM Session "34 Red void 3"

SHot 346 Blood doesn't do what it should, cut it out or fix it

SHot 351 make more space before Walrider gets thrown into the blood

Shot 347 - 351 not sure about the lines yet

---
SFM Session "35 Tina x Walrider 20"

No problems

---

SFM Session "36 Red Void 4"

No problems

---

SFM Session "37 Tina x Walrider 21"

No problems

---

SFM Session "38 Tina x Walrider 22"

No Problems

---

SFM Session "39 Red Void 5"

No Problems

---

SFM Session "40 Red Void 6"

SHot 379 and following, add blood to his jacket and jeans

Shot 380 make it longer

---

SFM Session "41 tina x walrider 23"

Add a shot before 383 showing Tina's hand on Walrider not moving an inch

Shot 386 make it longer and/or add a shot between 386-387 showing tina's face and
exhaustion so the scene doesn't feel as rushed
---

SFM Session "42 tina x lisa"

general fix - adjust lighting (see following 2 sessions), camera too static till
395

---

SFM Session "43 tina x lisa 2"

No problems

---

SFM Session "44 tina x lisa 3"

Shot 408 give space to Tina seeing Lisa

Shot 413 make it longer