EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

The Importance Of Emotional Intelligence In Today’s Business World

World
The Importance Of Emotional Intelligence In Today’s Business
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
Copyright © 2018

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 Table of Contents
INTRODUCTION 4

WHAT IS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (EQ)? 5

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE, IQ, AND PERSONALITY 6
CHARACTERISTICS OF EQ 8
WHICH IS BETTER—IQ OR EQ? 10

WHY IS EQ IMPORTANT? 12

WHY IS EQ IMPORTANT IN BUSINESS? 15

SELF-AWARENESS 17
SELF-REGULATION 17
MOTIVATION 17
EMPATHY 17
PEOPLE SKILLS 18

HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EQ 21

GET TO KNOW YOUR FEELINGS 22
CATCH YOUR NEGATIVE SELF-TALK 22
BE MINDFUL OF YOUR BEHAVIOR 23
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR YOURSELF 23
RESPOND, DON’T (OVER)REACT 24
PRACTICE COMPASSION 24
CREATE A POSITIVE ENVIRONMENT 25
REMEMBER ROME WASN’T BUILT IN A DAY 25

CONCLUSION 26

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Introduction

The concept of emotional intelligence is widely recognized as a distinct

type of intelligence that deals mainly with a person’s awareness and
understanding of his or her emotions as well as those of others. It is a
type of intelligence that is entirely different from the general
intelligence with many describing it as “the other kind of smart.”

Emotional intelligence was first introduced to us in the 90’s when during

an intelligence test, people with average IQs were observed to
outperform those with the highest IQs 70% of the time. The unexpected
results derived from this test formed the basis upon which decades of
research was conducted to gain more knowledge and a better
understanding of this new form of intelligence.

This same unique form of intelligence was identified as the critical factor
responsible for distinguishing the star performers from the
aforementioned test. The term “Emotional Intelligence” was later coined
as a fitting description for this form of intelligence and since then has
become a term recognized in households around the world.

A significant attribute of emotional intelligence that makes it unique is

that it is broad and can be applied to various aspects of our daily life.
This eBook will focus primarily on emotional intelligence in business or
the workplace.

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What is Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?

Emotional intelligence, according to Drs. Travis Bradberry and Jean

Greaves, authors of Emotional intelligence 2.0, is defined as “your ability
to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others, and your
ability to use this awareness to manage your behavior and relationships.”

It is a dynamic form of intelligence that affects how we as individuals are

able to manage behavior, perform effortlessly through social
complexities, and make personal decisions that yield positive outcomes.
We all have different personalities, and in most cases, our personalities
are shaped by the level of our emotional intelligence.

Some people are very good at managing their emotions while others have
a poor grasp of it. Being emotionally intelligent gives you the ability to
recognize your feelings, understand what they’re telling you, and raise
your awareness of how they affect people around you. It also constitutes
your perception of others and helps you understand how they feel,
enabling you to manage relationships more efficiently.

Emotional intelligence utilizes a fundamental element of human behavior

that is different from your intellect. It is important to note that
emotional intelligence does not have any recognized connection to a
person’s IQ—it cannot be predicted based on how smart someone is.

Traditional intelligence has to do with a person’s ability to learn, and that

ability remains constant throughout that person’s entire lifetime, be they
aged 15 or aged 50. Unlike traditional intelligence, which comes naturally
to a person, emotional intelligence is a flexible set of skills that can be
acquired and developed with practice.

Emotional intelligence focuses around four fundamental skills, and these

skills are paired up under two primary proficiencies, personal
competence, and social competence. Personal competence is comprised
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of one’s self-awareness and self-management skills. It is ideally described
as your ability to remain aware of your emotions as well as consciously
managing your behavior and tendencies.

• Self-awareness can be described as your capacity to correctly

distinguish your emotions and stay mindful of them as they happen.
• Self-management has to do with your aptitude to use this awareness
of your emotions to stay flexible and behave appropriately and
positively.
Social competence, on the other hand, comprises of your social
awareness and relationship management skills. It focuses mainly on a
person’s ability to understand other people’s moods, behavior, and
motives with the aim of improving the quality of your relationships.

• Social-awareness can be described as your capability to correctly

interpret others’ feelings and then to use that knowledge to
understand the current underlying situation.
• Relationship management has to do with your ability to use your
emotional awareness as well as that of others to manage
communications efficaciously.

Emotional Intelligence, IQ, and Personality

The relationship between emotional intelligence, IQ, and personality is

often confused. These intellectual concepts aren’t interchangeable, but
rather, they are three different aspects of ourselves.

A person’s IQ and their emotional intelligence have no identified

connection with one another, so you cannot forecast emotional
intelligence of a person based on how smart he or she is. As earlier
explained, traditional intelligence is your ability to learn, and it remains
the same throughout your lifetime. Having a high emotional intelligence,
however, occurs naturally, but can also be developed and cultivated.

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Personality, on the other hand, is the prominent icing on the cake. We
could describe it as a person's style. It is comprised of the perceptions,
behaviors and emotional tendencies that each person develops based on
their biology and their environment. Personality is usually based on the
habits we have developed over time, and that has consequently shaped
our thinking and way of life. Also, just like IQ, personality cannot be used
to predict emotional intelligence. It is, for the most part, stable and
remains constant over a person's lifetime.

Emotional intelligence plays a significant role in the professional success

of a person. It is directly linked to performance and serves a powerful
purpose in enabling you to focus your energy in a single direction to
produce massive results. Emotional intelligence is believed to be the best
indicator of workforce success when compared to other important
workplace skills.

Not only are people with a high degree of emotional intelligence top
performers in their various fields of interest, but they also make more
money than their counterparts who have a lower degree of emotional
intelligence. Research studies show those with higher emotional
intelligence average $29,000 more per year across all career fields and
that a person’s earnings increase in direct proportion to their degree of
emotional intelligence.

Another amazing thing about emotional intelligence and what makes it

different from IQ and personality is that it can be developed. Even when
a person is born without a high level of emotional intelligence, he can
train himself to become more emotionally intelligent.

Emotional intelligence is explained as the outcome of the communication

between a person's rational and emotional ‘brains.' Thanks to the
advances in neuroscience, we now know that the brain develops new
connections in relation to new skills learned. This is called
neuroplasticity. The brain employs strategies to increase your emotional
intelligence by creating a network of cells, thus triggering a chain
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reaction of growth that makes it possible to activate new behaviors in the
future. As your brain repeatedly practices using new emotional strategies,
you will find that emotionally intelligent behaviors become second nature
to you.

Characteristics of EQ

People with a high degree of emotional intelligence are masters of their

emotions and are usually successful at most of the things they do. They
possess the kind of qualities that endear a lot of people to them, and that
is the main reason why they always turn out successful.

You find that a lot of times, emotionally intelligent people go through life
much more easily than people who easily get angry or upset. They are
excellent decision makers, know when to trust their intuition, take
criticism well and know when to use it to improve their performance.
They also make others feel good wherever they go – when they send an
email, it gets answered, and when they ask for help, they receive the
needed assistance.

According to an American author, psychologist and science journalist

Daniel Goleman, in his book, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter
More Than IQ, there are five elements which serve as the blueprint that
helps define emotional intelligence.

These elements, developed by Goleman, constitute the fundamental

characteristics of emotional intelligence (EQ). They are self-awareness,
self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. Below is a detailed
analysis of each one of these characteristics.

1. Self-Awareness
It has been discovered that people with high emotional intelligence have
a strong sense of self-awareness. They are fully aware of how they feel at

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any point in time and can control such feelings, never allowing it to rule
them.

They also display a high level of self-confident because they know what
they’re capable of and never let their emotions get out of control. They
trust their intuition and themselves to make wise decisions. Self-
awareness also means knowing your strengths and weaknesses, and this is
a basic knowledge that people with high emotional intelligence have.
Without self-awareness, emotional intelligence is unattainable.

2. Self-Regulation
This refers to the ability to control your emotions and impulses. A person
who is adept at self-regulating usually doesn’t allow himself/ herself to
become too mad or resentful to the point that they make impetuous and
thoughtless decisions. They know what to say and how to act in every
situation because they always let their thoughts guide their words and
actions. Self-regulation is comprised of equal parts of integrity,
adaptability, and appropriate boundaries.

3. Motivation
Emotionally intelligent people are typically extremely motivated. They
consistently take action towards well-thought-out goals and are content
to defer gratification to reach their big, long-term goals. It is a very
resourceful quality to have because motivated people are industrious,
risk-takers, and efficient at all things they attempt.

4. Empathy
Emotionally intelligent people are also tremendously empathetic. They
have an innate ability to identify and relate to the wants, needs, and
opinions of those around them. With this characteristic, they become
better equipped at relating to others, even those different from
themselves, managing relations, and listening. They also avoid, judging,
stereotyping, and blaming others, and they maintain a very honest, and
open lifestyle.
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 5. Social Skills
Another powerful characteristic of high emotional intelligence is having
good social skills. Individuals with high emotional intelligence are team
players who don’t try to save all the glory for themselves. They are happy
to share their physical resources and time to help others, which makes
them ideally placed to communicate effectively and manage conflicts
that arise in their environment. Typically, those with high emotional
intelligence benefit from strong, meaningful relationships.

Which is Better—IQ or EQ?

There has been a long-running debate on the difference between

emotional intelligence (EQ) and traditional intelligence (IQ). Daniel
Goleman, however, suggests that emotional intelligence could be more
important than traditional intelligence. Most psychologists also argue that
the measures of standard intelligence are too limited and fail to take into
consideration the entire range of human intelligence.

Another psychologist, Howard Gardner, also suggested that intelligence is

comprised of a whole lot more than just logical thinking aptitude. He
argued that multiple types of intelligence are largely ignored.

Though there may truly be multiple types of intelligence, emotional

intelligence is the one that has predominantly challenged the
conventional IQ. In fact, more and more experts are coming to the
conclusion that EQ is just as important, if not more so than IQ in the way
individuals manage life. The difference between both EQ and IQ can be
found in their definitions and how they are measured and tested.

For instance, IQ, or intelligence quotient is defined a number that is

derived from a standardized intelligence test. It is calculated by dividing
an individual’s mental age by their chronological age and dividing that
number by 100.

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Some of the abilities used to quantify those with a high IQ are:

• Visual and spatial processing

• Knowledge of the world
• Fluid reasoning
• Working memory and short-term memory
• Quantitative reasoning

EQ, or emotional intelligence quotient, on the other hand, is a measure

of a person’s ability to distinguish, regulate, assess, and express emotions
in themselves and their relationship with others.
Some of the abilities which those with a high EQ possess include:

• Identifying emotions
• Evaluating how others feel
• Controlling one’s own emotions
• Perceiving how others feel
• Using emotions to facilitate social communication
• Relating to others

Emotional intelligence is a concept that has grown in mainstream

popularity over the last few years in our society. You can even purchase
books and toys that can help boost your child’s emotional intelligence or
enroll them in a social and emotional learning (SEL) program that is
designed to coach emotional intelligence skills in your children.

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Why is EQ Important?

A person’s EQ is now believed by many experts to be far more important

than their IQ. This is because people with a high EQ have a higher chance
of achieving success. They are able to maintain quality relationships and
are generally happy. Some of the main reasons why EQ is considered to be
so important are listed below:

Life Balance
Those with a high EQ have a much more balanced life than those with
lower EQ. They have every aspect of their daily lives planned out, and
they have the ability to adapt to whatever situation they find themselves
in. Once they understand their present situation after entering into a new
environment, they immediately take control and restore normalcy.
Maintaining a balanced-life seems to be second nature to them.

Physical Health
Our level of EQ is also evident in our ability to take care of our bodies.
People with a high EQ are better able to manage their stress. And they
understand that eating a healthy diet and getting consistent exercise will
keep them fit and active so that they can reach their goals.

Mental Well-being
Another noteworthy importance of emotional intelligence is that it
positively affects our attitude and outlook on life. Those with high EQ
manage stress effectively because they are fully aware of their emotional
state. Our minds begin to react differently to stress. They suffer less from
anxiety and depression than those with a lower EQ.

Meaningful Relationships
People with a high level of emotional intelligence are adept at managing
their own emotions and understanding the emotions of others. They are

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able to communicate their feelings constructively and are committed to
understanding the emotions and desires of those they have a relationship
with. A high EQ helps build stronger and more fulfilling interpersonal
relationships because of the ability to appreciate the wants, feelings, and
responses of loved ones and respond to them appropriately.

Conflict Resolution
Emotional intelligence proves imperative during crises situations due to
the capability to discern other people’s emotions and see things from
different point of views. Those with high EQ find it much easier to resolve
conflicts or even avoid them before they happen. Once they understand
the challenging situation, they are able to use their significant
communication skills to negotiate what is best for the majority.

Higher Success
Improving one’s EQ creates stronger internal motivation, so success is
reached more quickly and easily. Self-confidence is boosted when EQ is
higher, which reduces the habit of procrastinating and increases focus on
a goal—all critical to achieving success. As your emotional intelligence
grows, so will your success rate because you will know to form strong
networks of support, overcome obstacles, and remain determined. You
will be content to work without immediate gratification so that you can
reach your long-term goals. With these forces in place, success will be
easier to reach in a shorter amount of time.

Leadership
Effective leaders have a high emotional intelligence. Just by observing,
you can tell which managers within a company have a high EQ. Without
it, they may attempt to lead, but no one is willing to follow. An effective
leader must be able to discern what motivates others, communicate
instructions, offer support and constructive criticism, and actively
participate in building strong bonds within the team. Leaders with high
levels of EQ can recognize what their team needs and offer positive
solutions while keeping productivity high. They are masters at leveraging
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the emotional diversity of each team member to the benefit of the entire
team.

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Why is EQ Important in Business?

If a company wants to grow into a top competitor in their industry, they

must focus not only on the quality of their products or services but also
on their people. Solid relationships between people in the workplace
automatically translate to improved productivity and all-around
operational excellence.

Many managers and business owners wonder what the role emotional
intelligence plays in the marketplace. Because emotional intelligence is
at the center of human relations, it is vitally important in business. It
involves being sensitive to and perceptive of the emotions of others and
revolves around how people and relationships function in the workplace.
Workplace harmony and healthy workplace relationships are a
prerequisite for any business to succeed. Savvy managers and business
owners recognize this fact and work to improve the harmonious
environment and relationships within their company by hiring those with
high EQ.

Some of the characteristics of leaders with a high level of emotional

intelligence are:

• Increased self-awareness leading to effectiveness management

• Higher ability to work successfully with others on their team
• Greater empathy with, and understanding of, other people on their
team
• Emotional intelligence is a precursor and requirement of leadership

Today’s workplace environment is characterized by open communication,

teamwork, and mutual respect between employees and their supervisors.
Business owners and supervisors who still utilize the outdated attitude of

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management by intimidation will have a hard time adapting to the
demands of today’s workers.
Business relations of today require a democratic approach as you are very
unlikely to be successful in the long term if you choose to adopt an
authoritarian style of management. An emotionally intelligent manager or
business owner knows that it is much more effective to approach a
supervisory role from a different perspective than authoritarian
managers.

Therefore, in order to increase your chances of being successful in the

business world now and in the future, you need to understand the
significance of emotional intelligence in business and apply it accordingly.

Most thriving businesses today owe much of their success to their staff
not only because of their technical skills but mainly because of their high
level of emotional intelligence. Staff members who are emotionally
intelligent are efficient, motivated, productive, focused, and committed.
They are charismatic, happy, confident, and feel rewarded by their work.
It is easy to see why most businesses today look out for traits of high
emotional intelligence in the people that they hire.

Every organization wants to excel and achieve all its goals within the
shortest possible time. In order for it to do that, they need the right
people to work not only at the top echelons but also in every area of
their business operations.

Most businesses today hire candidates who possess strong and high levels
of emotional intelligence. Based on statistics by Talent Smart, 90% of high
performers at today’s workplace possess high EQ, while 80% of low
performers have a low EQ.

Managers are able to determine EQ levels by looking for candidates who

have a firm grip on five major pillars as presented by Daniel Goleman in
his books Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More than IQ and
Working With Emotional Intelligence. The five pillars are:
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Self-awareness

Candidates with high EQ understand their personal strengths and

weaknesses and work to improve their weak points. They also understand
that their actions affect others and so act consciously, rather than react
emotionally. They take constructive criticism well and work to improve
based on this feedback.

Self-regulation

Managers look for employees with a high EQ because they understand how
to regulate their own emotions and actions. They are able to restrain
themselves when experiencing negative emotions and reveal their
personal emotions only when appropriate. They have control over their
emotions rather than their emotions having control over them. Those
with high EQs pay attention not only to their words but also to the tone
of their voice and find the best time to converse with others.

Motivation

Managers know those with a high EQ are self-starters. Very little time is
needed to motivate and inspire those with a great deal of emotional
intelligence because they do it for themselves. They are driven by
internal ambition rather than by external factors. This means that they
are consistent with their motivation, and avoid having a lot of ups and
downs, as those with a lower EQ do.

Empathy

Those employees in high demand are those who are empathic towards
others. Even when they haven’t had the same experiences or when they
are radically different from the other person, those with a high EQ are
respectful and compassionate and easily convey that to those who need
it.

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People Skills

Emotionally intelligent individuals obviously have great people skills.

They are very good at interacting with others and can gain their trust
very quickly. They do not get embroiled in power struggles, and they
refrain from backstabbing others. They enjoy the company of others and
easily earn the respect of people around them.

Understandably, every person has his or her unique qualities and abilities
that make them different from others. However, we all have the ability to
be emotionally intelligent, and that means having excellent leadership,
teamwork, management and partnership skills.

It is very important for managers and other business leaders to seek new
hires who have a high level of emotional intelligence for their
organizations. Workers who have a high level of EQ are better able to
work in teams, adapt easily to change, and are very flexible. In the same
vein, it is equally vital for managers and business leaders to operate in
emotionally intelligent ways in order to live up to the needs of the
today’s employees.

Savvy managers and business owners with high EQs recognize that the
expectations in the workplace have changed and they adapt accordingly.
For instance, the older generation started their careers at and retired
from the same companies. They spend decades in an organization while
advancing their careers and moving up the ladder.

In the past, a job was simply viewed as a vehicle for earning an income.
However, today’s workers expect more from their jobs than simply
earning a paycheck. This change was instigated by the younger generation
because they have observed that over the years, the traditional way of
doing things doesn’t necessarily guarantee job security or gaining
deserved benefits after you retire.

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Many workers of the younger generation have watched in distress as
loyal, older employees in their companies deal with layoffs and broken
promises from their workplace. Young workers are demanding more from
their jobs. Emotionally intelligent managers who recognize this need
among today’s workers and who invest accordingly in EQ fare much better
than those who neglect them. They also get to have more engaged,
committed employees.

Emotionally intelligent managers can see past a prospective employee’s

degrees or other on-paper qualifications. They recognize that no matter
how many laurels or certifications a person has, they are unlikely to
succeed if they do not have certain emotional qualities critical for
surviving in a constantly evolving, workplace.

Also, building and establishing a business is always easier and faster when
you have emotionally intelligent individuals as part of your team. The
effect of an emotionally intelligent team impacts every department in a
business, both internally – relationships between colleagues, managers,
and staff; and externally – relationships between the organization and its
customers, contractors, investors, competitors.

The value and importance of emotional intelligence in business cannot be

overemphasized. It is essential for excellence and necessary for peaceful
coexistence among employees as well as third-party individuals who have
an interest in the business.

Businesses in which its staff are emotionally intelligent usually makes it

easier for everyone to work together to maximum effectiveness. Skillful
and effective communication is reliant upon:

• How we assess people

• How relationships develop
• How our beliefs generate our experience
• How we assess change, success, leadership, and competition
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Managers who understand the importance of emotional intelligence
recognize that communicating effectively with staff members and
treating each employee with respect is the best way to increase the
organization’s success.

It is important for us to discuss emotional intelligence in business because

emotions (and beliefs) drive our behavior. Engaging a person’s emotions
and beliefs directly is a sure way to change their behavior, and this is why
managers adopt the principles of emotional intelligence in business. They
are able to sell their products to people by connecting with them at an
emotional level because they know that people make decisions when they
are in their emotions.

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How to Improve Your EQ

Improving your emotional intelligence quotient or EQ requires that you

recognize and understand your emotions as well as those of others. You
also need to understand the powerful effects that your emotions can have
and then make use of that information to guide your thinking and
behavior.

There are several ways by which we can improve our EQ. According to
professors David R. Caruso and Peter Salovey in their groundbreaking
research and publication, The Emotionally Intelligent Manager, four core
skills are necessary for developing emotional intelligence. They include:

1. Identifying your feelings and those of others

2. Using those feelings to guide your own thinking and reasoning, along
with others
3. Understanding that feelings may change as events evolve
4. Staying open and aware of emotions and integrating this into
choices and actions
Emotional intelligence helps to boost your performance both in your
personal and professional life. By becoming more emotionally conscious,
you grow and gain an in-depth understanding of yourself and your
abilities.

Fortunately for us, unlike IQ which basically stays the same all through a
person’s lifetime, EQ can be learned and cultivated. Your EQ can evolve
and increase, but you have to do the work to see this positive change.

Regardless of whatever stage you may be in life at present, you can

always improve your EQ and develop your self-awareness and empathy.
There are several ways by which you can improve your EQ, some of these
ways only require practicing some simple strategies. Below you’ll find a
short list of strategies to get you started strengthening your EQ today.

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Get To Know Your Feelings

In today’s fast-paced world with so many commitments, deadlines, and

to-dos all jostling for our attention, it is easy for us to lose touch with our
emotions. When this happens, we are likely to act irrationally, which
means missing out on the significant messages our emotions can tell us.

To avoid losing out on such valuable information, start consciously taking

note of what your emotion is trying to tell you, stopping yourself before
you react. By paying attention to your feelings, you can learn to trust
them. You have to be able to do those two things before you can manage
them. What triggers difficult emotions, such as anger, frustration, and
resentment? Becoming aware of your triggers and the emotions that
follow, you alter the way you respond to future situations.

In practical terms, you can do a self-evaluation to identify how your

emotions affect you physically in your body and what the sensation feels
like. This can be done by setting a timer at different intervals during the
day and taking a few deep breaths each time the alarm goes off. Try to
notice how you’re feeling emotionally at each interval. As you continue to
practice this, you will grow in self-awareness and mastering of your
emotions.

Catch Your Negative Self-Talk

We all have an inner critic who likes to take center stage. You may never
be able to quiet yours completely but improving your EQ will demand that
you begin to notice when it tends to whisper in your ear. When negative
self-talk takes over in your mind, it can be challenging to bring stop its
chatter. To begin silencing yours, start paying attention to the little voice
in your head. When does it start nagging you? What are the triggers that
get your inner critic on a roll of negativity? Once you start to notice the
patterns, you’ll be able to shut it down faster, until you rarely have to
deal with it at all.

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Be Mindful of Your Behavior

Besides becoming aware of your emotions, you also need to pay close
attention to your behavior if you truly want to be successful at improving
your EQ. Take note of how you act when you’re experiencing certain
emotions and how those actions affect your daily life. Is your behavior
negatively impacting your communication with others? A certain person?
Does it affect your productivity? Peace of mind?

If you answered yes to any of the above-listed questions, then it is a clear

sign that you need to begin working on your behavior. Also, as you
consciously become aware of how you are reacting to your emotions,
notice any tendency to judge yourself harshly. Work on cutting yourself
some slack and learning from the way you deal with your emotions when
you don’t handle a situation the way you would have liked. Then take
that new understanding of yourself into future situations. Developing your
EQ is a learning process that will take time, and you will make mistakes.
Be kind to yourself.

Take Responsibility for Your Yourself

Being aware of your emotions and getting to understand your behavior is

pointless if you are not willing to take responsibility for them. To improve
your emotional intelligence, you must recognize that you are the only
person responsible for your reaction to how you feel and behave, not
anybody else.

If someone says or does something that upsets you and you immediately
flare up at them, you’re totally responsible for that. The person may be
responsible for triggering the feeling, but your reaction is solely your
responsibility, and you have to take full control of that.

How you feel at any point in time is also your responsibility. You can take
valuable cues from your feelings with respects to your needs and

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preferences as well as with the experience of others. The moment you
begin taking full responsibility for both your feelings and behavior, you
will notice a significant improvement in the quality of your life as well as
your emotional intelligence.

Respond, Don’t (Over)react

To further improve your emotional intelligence, you need to master the

ability to remain calm and manage stress consciously. How you handle
stressful situations can make all the difference between being responsive
versus being reactive.

To get efficient at this, you need to recognize the difference between

responding and reacting. Reacting is an unconscious process that is
triggered by an emotion and is usually characterized by harsh,
uncontrolled language and actions. It causes us to unconsciously express
or relieve that emotion by acting out when we experience stress or a
negative situation.

Responding, on the other hand, is a conscious process that deals with

becoming aware of your feelings and then deciding how you will express
them. A person who reacts will grouse at anyone who interrupts him when
he is irritated. But a person who is responsive will pause before grouching
and chose not to allow his annoyance to be taken out on someone else.
Instead, he would take the time to calmly explain that it isn’t a good
time to speak with them.

Practice Compassion

Practicing compassion towards yourself and others will also help to

improve your emotional intelligence. It basically involves being able to
understand why someone feels a certain way and communicating in a way
that shows you understand how they feel about them. You can begin
practicing empathy by starting with yourself first and asking yourself

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questions relating to why you feel the way you do. Even simple actions
like taking a break when you need it will build more self-compassion. By
regularly monitoring your feelings and behavior as you experience them,
you will find it easier to be compassionate towards yourself. This will
naturally lead to becoming more kind to others as well.

Create a Positive Environment

While making an effort to practice self-awareness, self-responsibility, and

self-compassion, it is also important to create some time to reflect on the
good things that are happening in your life. Being grateful and
celebrating the positives in your life will not only make you a happier
person, but it will raise your EQ. After practicing more gratitude, you’ll
find it easier to see the positives in even difficult situations. It will
become a habit to find positive solutions to challenges.

People who spend some time to reflect on the positive things in their
lives are generally more resilient and motivated to do more. They are
also more likely to have fulfilling relationships – an invaluable resource
that helps them survive when adversity strikes. A positive environment
will also help in improving the quality of your life as well as the lives of
people that associate themselves with you.

Remember Rome Wasn’t Built in a Day

Improving your emotional intelligence is not a day’s job; it isn’t

something that you just develop and then abandon. It is a lifetime
practice and must be continuously developed in order to gain the full
benefits it offers. There’s no way you can improve your EQ overnight, but
that’s okay. It’s definitely worth the time and attention to cultivating it.
There are many aspects of emotional intelligence that you will want to
practice and develop. While you’re doing that, remember to continue to
practice kindness towards yourself. Slip ups will happen, but with
practice, you’ll consistently improve.

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Conclusion

Emotional intelligence measures your ability to perceive your own

emotions as well as those of others. Fortunately, even if you weren’t
naturally born with a high EQ, you will be able to manage your emotions
productively and healthily with some practice.

A well-developed EQ will bring huge benefits to your personal and

professional life. Below are the top ten things to remember from this
eBook as you move into your journey of cultivating your EQ:

1. Emotional intelligence does not have any identified connection to a

person’s IQ, and it cannot be predicted based on how smart
someone is. Anyone can improve their EQ.
2. Cultivating EQ will take time and practice. Rather than get
frustrated with yourself when you act or speak in a nonbeneficial
way, remember that this is a skill you are developing over a
lifetime.
3. Emotional intelligence revolves around four core skills, and these
skills are paired up under two primary competencies—personal
competence and social competence. Personal competence includes
your self-awareness and self-management skills. Social competence,
on the other hand, comprises of your social awareness and
relationship management skills.
4. Emotional intelligence is the best predictor of performance when
compared to other types of intelligence and workplace skills.
Developing your EQ is one of the best ways to move up in your
chosen career field and to experience more success.
5. Emotionally intelligent individuals earn more money than their
counterparts who have a lower one. Also, a person’s earnings
increases in direct proportion to the person’s degree of emotional
intelligence.

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6. Emotionally intelligent people are excellent decision makers. They
know when to trust their intuition, take criticism well, and know
when to use it to improve their performance.
7. Five fundamental elements help define emotional intelligence—self-
awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.
8. Emotional intelligence will benefit your work life, but will also be
helpful in your personal life. Those with a high EQ enjoy
meaningful, long-term relationships and overall happier life. So
don’t leave your EQ at the door when you head out of the office.
9. There are several reasons why EQ is considered to be very
important, and they are because it helps in the following areas:
balanced-life, physical health, mental well-being, relationships,
conflict resolution, success, and leadership.
10.Today's employers look for five major pillars when hiring new
employees; they are self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation,
empathy, and people skills.

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