16 Aperfect wife

Intraditional
A
relationships to India, woman's
a
others. irstly,identity defined is by her
wife to hershe is a
parents;; secondly, sheeisis :a
in-law to his
daughters. parents; thirdly, she is a husbanddaughter
and a
to her
mother to hisdaughter
The Hindu ideal of sons and
Sita, Savitri, woman defined and
is
Damayanti, Draupadi and others.
legendary Woman in the
of womanhood and her epic
personiSita,fied by
tion to go to the
foresst
Ramayana,
speech, emphasizrepresents
ing her
the ideal
statement of tthe dharma withof a
her
husbarnd, is andetermina-
For a woman, it is Hindu wife: eloquent
not her father, her
mother,
in this riends, nor her own self, son, nor her
world and in the next but the husband, who
salvation.
O Ifthou dost enter the isever her sole means of
Descendant of Raghu, I impenetrable forest today,
treading down the shall precede thee on foot,
it be in spiky kusha grass. In truth,
palaces, in
shadow of the feet ofchariots, or in heaven, whether
her consort wherever the
falls, it must be followed.
The Savitri myth
refines the statement of Sita.
follows Yama to his country;
the boon of offspring and, she persuades Yama to give Savitri
a century of sons thereby, her husband too to give her her
possessed of
apable of perpetuation of our race'strength and prowess, and
birth to sOns. . To be a good wife is to give
In the
legend of Nala and Damayanti, Damayanti
accompani
gambl ed es Nala, her husband, intothe forest though cheerfully
he
sleeping away everythingthey owned. He leaves her while
in the forest at night, taking away half ofthe garment
146/EmDowermentEnglish

saya word against

Damayantidoes notsetting up
shehad but of herhusband,
goesin
search
ill,a wife
treatedwellor model wifeinthe.other epic
a mora]:
shouldbe with her husband chiWhm.Sethhee.r
Draupadi, the Lord Krishna's wife about the
advisesSatyabhama,
Mahabhardutieastaof
amarriedwoman:
Keeping aside vanity and controlling desire,and wrath,
devotion the Sons of
deep Pandu with
serve with
Ialways withn
Restrainingjealousy, devotion of
their wives. of degradation at the servin
heart, without a sense
husbands...I never
perform, I wait upon my my husband has bathe Or
eat or sleep till he that
is bathed
eaten or slept Those duties my mother-in-law had
as also the
told me to perform in respect of relatives,to the gods
duties of alms-giving, of offering worship
without idleness of
Ialways discharge day and night,
any kind.
Markandeya tells Yudhishthira of wives restraining all
their senses and keeping their hearts under complete control'
and adds that wives should regard their husbands as veritable
gods' because only by 'serving their husbands they can win
heaven.
The qualities of the perfect wife are projected again and
again in numberless myths, legends, epics, puranas and stories
with a view to moulding the character and personality of
women in India:chastity, purity, unwavering faithfulnesS,
never geting angry or irritated by whatever the husband does,
gentleness, tenderness, devotion toone's husband and his
parentS, etc., etc.

A, 1.
Comprehend our conventions.
Allour religious
image of a perfecttraditions
wife. Can
have already constructed an
you list the
an ideal wife as
demanded by our qualifications 0t
She must not remain conventions?
wife. unmarried, she must become a
IList as many as can, even the ones
implied in the textyou
given above.] not
included or
 Aperfect wife l 147
im. 2. Critical comprehension.
; Do youthink that
the qualities of a perfect
horst uies arevery explicitly stated in our husband
andstories? Can you list the religious texts, epics
qualifications of an ideal
husband as implied in our tradition?
ii How many of the
qualifications
dwrat a perfect
the ones that are
wife
that are essential for
traditional are acceptable to you? List
acceptable. lf some are
acceptable, give reasons not
for not accepting them.
Aebaristhae iii. Do you think that the vast
majority of the rural
women are aware of the changing perceptions of
n-salalsoathwedbte
modern urban women?
iv. Even today as part of the Hindu marriage rituals,
the following are done in some parts of India:
egods. a. The bride is made to sit on her father's lap and is
Hlenesd given away as agift to the bridegroom--it's called
kanya daanlam).
b. Thefather ofthe bride, while offering his daughter,
aining chants: I offer you my daughter, a maiden
tecontr
virtuous, good-natured, very wise, decked with
Sveritabe ornamentsto the best of my ability.
C. The bridegroom shows the star, Arundhati (of the
Saptha Rishi Constellation), the wife of Vasishta
Maharishi, exemplified as an ideal wife and the
and
stora embodiment of chastity.
Sonaltr
d. The Mangala Sutra that is tied around the bride's
thwlns
neck to lie on the middle of her chest symbolizes
shandaáe
that her man has occupied her whole being
na
d nb
dy
through her heart.
e, The word sumangali bestows on the bride a life
yoked toher husband; without him there is no
life.
Any reactions to the significance of these rituals? You
ay record your critical reactions to each one in two or
three sentences.
 Are in-laws out-laws?
17
severalstoriesabout the archetypal
must have
heard of popular TV seriale
A Youmother-in-law'; there are also some the daughter-in-law
bad relationship between
aboutthe uneasy
and the mother-in-law. mother-in-law runs as
the
Avery popular story about
follows: house, asking for alms and the
Once a beggar came to aasked him to go away saying that
daughter-in-law promptly beggar was about
in the house to give. The
there was nothing daughter-in-law went into the kitchen where
to leave and the mother-in-law came rushing
she wassupposed to be. Then, the
and called the beggar;the beggar felt happy and returned
out him some
smiling, thinking that the older woman would give she toask
food or money. The mother-in-law shouted:Who is
you to goaway? Sheisonly the wifeofmy son and she has no
authority to say so. I'm his mother and, now, I ask you to go
away; get out."
The beggar was not bothered about the power-politics in
the house;he was worried about his next meal!
It is often said that a woman's worst enemy is another
woman andthatwhiletwo men can co-exist twowomen cannot!
Based on the notorious 'mother-in-law stories men usually
point out that there are no problems between
and d¡ughters-in-law, But, women sav that this fathers-in-law
is not true
according tothem, there are other kinds of
typical household, and generally, such thingsharassment
about.
1n a
are not talked
How is it
is not foundthat the much talked myth'
in our about'stories?
stories we don't puranas and other
mother-in-law
In our ancient
come across instances of women harassed by
 A
11. 9. Ö. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1 Do
0. 6. you Afterthink backgoiwork,
typical ngour cases was their
two?
7. in-law
hen
reasons Do or conflict?
Do Why Areagree Why
disappear. of
With Do What
statementactuallymother-in-law What
Old Who Write law's above? Whatis
given morharassed
e in
this you th e you understand al l, *mothers-in-law;
that | toMaybe,
that out
is you then allwith is the times do
anti-daughter-in-law attitude? mother-in-law
th e our
it
nuclear is do to
the foarchetypal think
rthink fathers-in-law think the in
our you short a you the education state! religious
in-laws
with
said break-up happened by
her-in-law the is this Do solution with arethink moral
that there you that ancient always her
harassmentgreed opinion? that family reference x think
note your Certainly,
daughter-in-law andtexts
daughters-in-law image agree?
two of is of
are ishas mother-in-law.
the for
no suggested will on are society
gentlemen? the the texts? then.' good win? in-laws?
the not
for father-in-law
women th e the changedonly in
more andexample
not dowry of Give Give jointright to the
mother-in-law out-laws,
the problem th e
because
Can some women stories?
blamed of reasons
'originsreasons answer wi l Are
the reasons family
solution? absence
in neither
relationship is cannot the or
change
areas Do in-laws
hter-in-law? Why one What you battle. is
for we and changing.
are to getting you
too x for will and text comment for
of
the thedaughter-in-law co-exist? for of don't
story
they? all the know Sita
are is
your your the to th e history th e and out-laws?
rassment? yourautomatically th e ourattitudeeducated nor
between
responsible emergence bad know of
important answer. answer. mother-in in problems? we
opinion? problem? mother on textthe Don't any
Draupadi
Do what of ofma y
the you this the you the and such 157 /
go
 158/Empowerment English

12. Do you think that in Western countries there is a similar

mother-in-law problem? Find out and write about it
just aparagraph.
A, Words and words
fthofollowing:
 computer few)desktop regularly.
MCAanalyst, the careers columns
Quest
career
universities
opportunities are careerbasedsmarterpractical an
variety
offeredare A
career aThere from
all difficult are
human
ice-creampossibility 18 The
offer 'in' career array spheres Thanks now
create What
programmes; earmarked options; path on what
thing; of toliving for is
counselling
ducation publisher. CAD a in was guidance what and of courses beings freedom?
almost from is career oflife, to choose or
may of Home
time
a even and to is they the soaps, oneself
inchoice
but
(Computer you where threats matchright be
Now options
are tremendous inthe and Freedom
choiceand
forwhen
can any newspapers andjob-oriented every called world onlay Freedom the and
mes. andNIIT,
women cells educational some there and
learning
most become field.
teaching one one'
in s for conceivable full
guidance
Aptech, available. choice inanimate alternatives the the
and the them.
people is is
Aided can s0 of
universities Today, but strengths
and centres job growth exercise the
get to
A spectrum fatigue! ch01ce;
much
Pentafour
Like in a now and
magazines market good take feel right World
Designs)
programmer, detailed objects.
addition a it Students and,field; of
racy, careernursing in intelligent
and
and thatchoiceeven of the to
is way choice.
possible most
oftomorrow. as
most
and aptitudes diversification is we inchoice, choose;
(to in information to a Fortunately
specialist,
to publish result,
are crowded actually that the
colleges choose of
CY; colleges computers is were
namea courses the wwe
Without
we
number a to becoming
decisions selection
t he there an right.
systems pursue Career There one' to s with suffer find
just only and the
ofte or on the in : of w
is a e to
of a

ty Wiins etc COm dev inte indu cOur andprofe Busin and cvideo
d ma,
epart anof
 Freedom and choice | 165
oomputer literate, software, hardware, micro-,
and many other macro-, super.
computer-related expressions are becoming
part of English usage.
Also gaining in popularity are courses in
mass commu
nication, advertising and journalism, electronic
video editing, and many more. These options are journalism.
addition to the conventional courses in medicine, available in
and commerce; competing with the IITs andengineering
Regional
Engineering Colleges, new IIITs and International/Indian
Business Schools are being established.
Fashion,until recently unexplored, has become a popular
profession. NIFT (National Institute of Fashion Technology)
and NID (National Institute of Design)offer a wide range of
courses in fashion designing, apparel pattern making and
industrial design. The related field is of graphic arts and
interior decoration that concentrates on designing and
developing graphics, colour schemes, furnishing,etc., often
vershiz nputer-aided,for a variety of advertising and business
artwork, pictures, illustrations,layouts, bookcovers, logos,
ete. The School of Interior Design, Centre for Environmental
aresut Planning and Technology in Ahmedabad, and some other
institutions offer courses on this subject. For a creative mind
with an artistic bent and a good knowledge of designing and
typography, the sky is the limit.
For enterprising entrepreneurs, beauty parlours, interior
to
che

decoration units, furniture designing shops, catering and fast

foodjoints, pottery andceramics industry, travel agenciesand
With Indian business
the like offer ample opportunities.consumer-friendly, there
becoming more market-oriented and
1S a great demand for sales and
service, marketing and finance.
you are interested in management, from hotel management
IT management, a number
to hospital management and media
job-oriented courses are available; there are even new
Of healtheare, media
expressions like hospitality industry,
Veejaying,ete. torefer tonew
anagers, travel management,
and emerging areas.
country where even about ten years ago a girl had
For a
and career options to choose from, India
ardly any educational younger generation today is very
The and take
cts COme a long way.youthare willingto experiment :
enterprising and the
 14.
166/EmpowermentEnglish the
that
tooarelearning toaccept
thoughts daughters have
decisions; the 15.W
an

risks. Parents ideas, dreams, strictt

theirfatherastheeall-knowing
ighttoofthe all disciplinarian
asthe submissive 16.
C

stereotype
bread-winner, andthe
mother house.
relationships aree being redefined.
and changing; 17. M
keeperis fast are lucky to be borninthistransitional
th
Don't youthinkyou s

society?
t
understand modern society?
A, Doyou above? Wor
freedom' defined in the text given
1. How is are we living in now?
2. What kind ofa world choicefutigue? 1.
3. What do you understand by the expression
Isit good or bad? educational spectrum? Is it
4. What is happening to the
related tocareer options'?
where do you
5. How does one select a career path? From
get all the information required?
6. Whatis happening in the field offashion? Would you like
to classify fashion as a technology or as an art? Give
reasons for your answer.
7. What is meant by the expression, the sky is the limit? In
what context is it used in the text?
8. What are the options available to an enterprising entre
preneur? Who is an entrepreneur? Is an entrepreneur
only a man?
9. Can you list some of the options available in the field o
management? What are the new expressions that ae
used in English as a result of new
the field? concepts emerginB
10. What are the career options
computers? List as
available in the fiela o
11. What do you many as you can.
computer
12. What
understand
literate? by
computeracy? Are you

tothe arethe other courses gaining popularity inaddition

13. What conventional
dothe courses?
i. IIT; ii. following
IIIT; iii. NIIT;stand for?
iv. IBM; v. vi. MBA
MCA;
 Freedom and choice l 167

14. What, according to the passage, is happening to the

father and
younger generation and to the image, of the
your
the mother? Is it good or bad? Give reasons for
answer.
society?
15. What is meant bya transitional mnother had and the
16. Compare the options that your
paragraph.
options you have; write a short a woman in modern
about being
17. What is your feeling you can also contribute to the
society? Do you think Indian society? Specify
woman in
making of a modern contribute.
can
the ways in which you
A, Word-perfect text for each of the
nhrase from the
19 Working women
A The story of women is
thecondition oftheirperhaps reaching a nerve-racking stage;
Bernard Shaw in hisexistence
is, in a way, stated by George
play Saint Joan:'Do not think you can
frighten me by telling me that I am alone...God is
whatis my loneliness before the loneliness of my alone; and
my God? Isee now that the country and
loneliness of God is His strength.
What would He be ifHe listened to yourjealous little counsels?
Well, my loneliness shall be my strength
now to thecommon people and let the love intoo;...I willgo out
me for the hate in yours." theireyes comfort
Tossed against the whims and fancies
ofmasculine power,
women as a class are slowly learning to revolt.
some men have come torealize the historic errorFortunately,
of
superiority but the fine-tuning is yet totake place. assumed
For men
as a species it will have tobe an awakening into
decency and
fair-mindedness. Attitudinal changes must come about not
only in women but also, and more importantly, inmen and in
8Ocial institutions.
In the morbid drama of life, women find themselves in a
complex situation. To get educated and to becomeeconomi
cally independent, women will have to go out; but, when they
go out, they are expected to confine themselves to societal
norms as women, they must take on 'male roles' in the work
spot, but tolerate the widespread harassment in all its mani
Testations.In a typical middle-class setting, a woman is encou
raged to goto work sothat she can bring home an additional,
Fegular income;at the same timne, she is made tofeel that it is
Aconcession given to her. After a day's work and a long bus
ride home, maybe like her husband,nd, she comes home equally
178/EmpowermentEnglish b e s

'make up' for time away from home by

she has to middle the'poor
ori class, while
tired; but, ifsheis fromthe
workinghard
affluent class must
supervisethe work of
from a mnore is that any problem orOr
the one What is worse is
domestic servants. immediately attributed to women's
disharmonyinthe house is avoidthe doublespeak
F h at
thi se

outside! In order to
accesstothe world typical she ends up doing'double duty
that is predictable and the tragic tale ofthe
burdens. This is Mhiat
s
m

or shouldering multiple
liberated' or 'empowered' women. perform the traditional ender
eq
expected to
A modern woman is roles'in the world oútside: How
sho

female roles' at home and the 'male the docile daughter

she must remain within her limits' as
What
can

affectionate sister, loving wife, submissive daughter-in-law,

outside
Do
rou
th
anddutiful mother, and perform allother roles in the stitudi
world in the name ofequality. Playing these multiple roles is
like taking various avatars in a patriarchal world; Even then How?D
a woman's contributionis not recognized; itis only a concession thefami
given!
When a child is born, she must remain awake at night; she Whyis a
must take the child for the first vaccination and look after the dered co
physical and emotional needs of the child. She must get the
food ready for everyone, do the housekeeping, pay the bills,
do the shopping, visit the bank, deal with carpenters and
plumbers, if necessary fix the fuse, and alsoexhibit all the
sweetness and gentlenessto makethe house a home .This
is whatis expected of aliberated, working
it requires a lot of patience, skill, wÍnan. Obviously,
tobattle out every day and every stamina, and perseverance
time for
every small opportunity, and every little every little space,
move requires a lot of concession. Each
wits. contemplation as much as a battle of
The coming of age of the
nuclear family, inevitable
economic-interdependence, the unhealthy competition in
BOciety, glaring exploitation and physical
invarying degrees, taking their
strain involved are,
of the efforts of toll. Itis not easy, but because
more gender some, the world is changing; it is becoming
you can reachsensitive.
the
If you are
determined and confident,
destination.
A Isyour-understanding clear? Working womenl179
1. Who is George Bernard
toin Shaw? What is the play
the passage given above?
Saint Joan? What do you referred
know about
2. What does Shaw say about being
give strength? What alone? Does
What does
is your opinion?
loneliness
'nerve-racking
4. Do you think that
F Whatis the
mean?
women are alone in their
men? 'historic error that has been struggle?
A What is realized bysome
meant
gender equations?
by
'fine-tuning"? Has it taken place in
7 How
should women and men
What can social change their attitudes?
8. Do you think that institutions do in this matter?
the family is a social
attitudinal changes must take place
institution and
How? Describe the changes that are tofirst in the family?
the family. take place within
9. Why is a woman's
dered complex?condition in the modern world consi
10. What, according to you, are the
roles'? Give examples. female roles' and 'male
11. Whyis a woman made to feel that going to
work is aconce
ssion given? Do you think it is right to make her feel that
way?
12. What is the difference between a house and a
home? Is
your mother a housewife or a homemaker?
18. What is the 'doublespeak' that is mentioned in the text?
How isit predictable and typical?
14. What is the 'double dutyor the multiple burdens that are
shouldered by the woman? Make a list.
to. Do you think that empowerment of women has lessened
their burden? Givereasons for your answer.
16. What are the: multiple roles played by a working woman
in modern India? Is the contribution properly acknowl
edged and recognized?
17. Why are the multiple roles played compared to various
aVatars? What is the significance of the comparison?
18. Is the world becoming more gender sensitive? Give
examples in support of your answer.
 180/Empowerment English

19. Do you think that the condition of women trying to get

liberated deserves sympathy? Give reasons for your
answer.

20. What is the'destination? Describe it as vividly as possible.

21. Generally, men complain about nagging wives'. Are there
nagging husbands too?
22. Men say that in the battle for survival women have an
impressive armoury of weapons for both offence and
defence--awide array like tears, looks, etc. Do you agree?
Give reasons for your answer.

A, Search for the meaning