Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Cute Activist
Cute Activist
CUTE
ACTIVIST
by
Milo
Cramer
milocramer1@gmail.com
203
470
0124
1
CHARACTERS
JEN,
upper
middle
class,
26,
girl
GIL,
a
tiny
bit
less
upper
middle
class,
22,
boy
WAITER
and
MANAGER,
working-‐class
queer
couple;
codependent
Mobius
strip
of
love
and
resentment
LANDLORDE,
powerful
landowner
/
media
mogul
/
chairman
of
the
board
STRANGER,
mysterious
former
Dunkin
Donuts
employee,
newly
the
bulldozer
king
Also:
choruses
of
STUDENTS
and
ACTIVISTS
A
mouse,
squirrels,
bunnies,
a
deer,
bluebirds
SETTING
The
setting
is
fantastical:
A
skewed
suburban
landscape
/
topsy-‐turvy
inequality
wonderland
Notes
of
rich
Connecticut,
poor
Connecticut,
and
Switzerland
A
pinch
just
a
pinch
of
Brooklyn
The
archetypal
characters
and
settings
need
to
be
big
enough
tents
to
contain
myriad,
granular
contradictions.
The
play
is,
in
other
words,
associative.
Another
universe.
A
spoooOoOoky
one.
2
1.
Prologue:
STUDENT,
an
A
student,
PUPIL,
a
B
student,
And
LEARNER,
a
C
student,
Are
in
TEACHER’s
class
in
a
conspicuously
high-‐quality
elementary
school.
TEACHER
Let’s
all
name
some
mainstream
lifestyle
choices
Who
can
think
of
a
viable
mainstream
lifestyle
choice?
STUDENT
Waiter
TEACHER
Nope
STUDENT
Straight
laced
TEACHER
Ok
STUDENT
Straight
laced
dude
TEACHER
Ok
closer
PUPIL
Straight
laced
dude
with
a
cat
TEACHER
Good
any
others
LEARNER
Romantic
Hero
TEACHER
Romantic
Hero
is
a
little
far
fetched
but
I
like
that
you’re
thinking
positive
PUPIL
Old
sad
person
TEACHER
3
We’re
looking
for
viable
mainstream
lifestyle
choices
Can
anyone
think
of
a
viable
mainstream
/
lifestyle
choice?
PUPIL
Going
to
the
bar
with
your
friends
TEACHER
That’s
good
what
else
STUDENT
Alcoholism,
alcoholic
TEACHER
Not
quite
LEARNER
Alcoholics
anonymous
TEACHER
I
don’t
know
where
you
learned
those
words
certainly
not
from
me
STUDENT
School
teacher
TEACHER
Ding
ding
ding
LEARNER
School
teacher
who’s
secretly
freaky
TEACHER
That’s
about
as
mainstream
as
it
gets
yeah
STUDENT
Homeless
person
TEACHER
Nope
and
let’s
not
talk
about
homeless
people
in
class
if
that’s
ok
STUDENT
Why
not?
PUPIL
Iconoclast
TEACHER
4
Does
everyone
know
what
iconoclast
means?
Could
you
define
iconoclast
for
the
class?
PUPIL
Someone
who
goes
against
everything
to
create
a
radical
new
order
TEACHER
And
do
you
know
anyone
who
actually
does
that?
PUPIL
Steve
Jobs
TEACHER
Oh
I
was
afraid
you
meant
terrorism
PUPIL
Mark
Zuckerberg
LEARNER
We’re
never
gonna
be
like
Steve
Jobs
or
Mark
Zuckerberg
no
matter
how
hard
we
try
STUDENT
Piggybacking
off
that,
how
about
blogging,
being
a
blogger
TEACHER
Better,
right
direction
STUDENT
Or
marketing
director
TEACHER
Yup
STUDENT
Stay
at
home
parent
TEACHER
You’re
good
at
this
STUDENT
Beautiful
sweetheart
who’s
really
nice
to
everyone
TEACHER
Mmmm
nope
That
one
is
actually
impossible
5
Viable
mainstream
lifestyle
choices,
people
LEARNER
Television
TEACHER
What
about
television
specifically
LEARNER
Person
who
knows
a
lot
about
television
because
they
love
watching
television
all
day
TEACHER
I
want
everyone
to
be
more
specific
PUPIL
Woodsy
person
TEACHER
Woodsy
person
do
you
have
a
job?
PUPIL
Being
in
the
woods
TEACHER
Do
we
think
that’s
a
job?
STUDENT
Urban
planner
TEACHER
How
many
urban
planners
can
you
name?
STUDENT
My
dad
TEACHER
That’s
only
one
STUDENT
But
he’s
my
one
PUPIL
Associate
manager
of
individual
giving
TEACHER
6
Sure
LEARNER
What
is
an
associate
manager
of
individual
giving?
PUPIL
Someone
who
helps
people
TEACHER
Viable
mainstream
lifestyle
choices,
please
folks
PUPIL
President
TEACHER
Of
what
PUPIL
Student
council
TEACHER
Maybe
LEARNER
Servant
TEACHER
Maybe
STUDENT
Manager
TEACHER
Man-‐ager
or
a
Woman-‐ager?
LEARNER
Um
dogs
what
about
dogs!
Dogs
person
walking
dogs
TEACHER
Bingo!
That’s
really
good
That’s
golden
STUDENT
Dog
walker
of
course
why
didn’t
I
think
of
that
TEACHER
7
Dog
walkers
are
really,
really
likeable
Not
to
mention
crucial
to
basic
civics
LEARNER
What
are
“basic
civics”
TEACHER
Basic
civics
are
a
kind
of
web
that
hold
everyone
together
LEARNER
A
web
like
a
web
show?
Like
a
television
show
on
the
web?
TEACHER
No
more
like
a
web
web
LEARNER
Like
a
spider
web?
Or
like
webbed
feet
on
a
duck?
TEACHER
More
like
an
invisible
bond
that
connects
people
in
a
community
LEARNER
Like
true
love?
TEACHER
Similar
to
true
love
except
no
one
gets
along
STUDENT
Do
you
mean
no
one
anyone
gets
along?
Or
no
one-‐
-‐
who
doesn’t
get
along?
LEARNER
My
parents
TEACHER
No
one
in
basic
civics
gets
along
LEARNER
Like
my
parents
STUDENT
Despite
the
invisible
golden
bond
that
holds
them
together?
TEACHER
Correct
STUDENT
8
So
does
basic
civics
work
or
not
work?
LEARNER
Yeah
what
the
fuck
are
you
teaching
us
today?
TEACHER
Sorry
Let’s
just
return
to
dog
walkers
and
say
that
dog
walkers
are
good
JANITOR
enters
with
a
mop
Everything
slows
down
JANITOR
Hi
sorry
I
hear
you
need
some
mopping?
TEACHER
Oh
yes
Hello
Mr.
Janitor
the
puddle
is
right
there
JANITORN
no
problem
TEACHER
of
course
it’s
no
problem
it’s
your
job
JANITOR
Ok
JANITOR
mops.
JANITOR’S
DAUGHTER
nervously
pokes
her
head
in
–
she
is
the
same
age
as
the
students.
She
knocks
something
over.
JANITOR
Oh
this
is
my
daughter
she’s
here
with
me
today
TEACHER
Hi
there
what’s
your
name?
JANITOR’S
DAUGHTER
Mmmmmmahh
TEACHER
Hi
Mmmmmmahh
JANITOR’S
DAUGHTER
9
That’s
not
really
my
name
I
just
said
that
because
I’m
nervous!
Can
I
be
in
your
class?
TEACHER
Oh
interesting
question
JANITOR’S
DAUGHTER
Please
can
be
in
your
class
TEACHER
I
don’t
know,
can
you?
JANITOR
DAUGHTER
I’ll
do
anything
JANITOR
Ok
all
mopped
up
Bye
now
TEACHER
Bye
now!
JANITOR
You
could
say
thank
you
JANITOR
and
JANITOR’S
DAUGHTER
exit.
Beat.
PUPIL
Freak
one
and
freak
two
TEACHER
I
want
to
call
attention
to
the
fact
that
Mmmmmmah’s
father
is
a
janitor,
while
meanwhile
Emily’s
father
is
an
urban
planner,
Matt’s
father
is
an
associate
manager
of
individual
giving,
and
Sarah’s
parents
seem
to
be
going
through
a
divorce,
and
how
different
all
those
things
are.
LEARNER
Is
going
through
a
divorce
a
job?
TEACHER
What
do
you
think?
LEARNER
The
way
you
just
said
it
made
it
sound
like
a
job
STUDENT
10
I
have
another
suggestion
for
bland
normal
living
or
whatever
TEACHER
You
don’t
have
to
say
you
have
another
suggestion
you
can
just
make
another
suggestion
STUDENT
Being
Incarcerated
TEACHER
Being
In
a
car?
STUDENT
Cerated
TEACHER
Ceramic?
STUDENT
Incarcerated
LEARNER
It’s
very
mainstream
TEACHER
Being
in
a
car
is
mainstream
but
you
have
to
buy
the
car
Though
I
suppose
you
could
rent
a
car
And
then
you
have
to
figure
out
parking
PUPIL
I
have
a
new
suggestion!
TEACHER
You
don’t
have
to
say
you
have
a
new
suggestion
you
can
just
make
your
suggestion
PUPIL
Having
sex
twice
a
week
getting
a
paycheck
once
a
week
TEACHER
Ok
perfect.
Sex
twice
a
week
paycheck
once
a
week
is
perfect.
That’s
perfect.
That’s
basically
the
answer
I
was
looking
for
this
whole
time.
LEARNER
But
what
if
you
want
three
sex
times
and
two
paychecks
TEACHER
11
Excuse
me
what
STUDENT
If
I
may,
I
think
she’s
talking
about
upgrading
from
a
2:1
sex
to
paycheck
ratio
to
a
3:2
sex
to
paycheck
ratio
TEACHER
In
one
week?
STUDENT,
PUPIL,
and
LEARNER,
IN
UNISON
Yes
in
one
week.
That’s
what
we
all
want.
We
all
dream
of
having
that.
Beat
TEACHER
Ok
so
I’m
thinking
about
your
admittedly
somewhat
radical
proposal
–
Which,
if
I
understand
correctly,
is
three
sex
times,
two
paycheck
times,
one
week
-‐
And
here’s
my
thought
process,
listen
carefully:
Is
that
viable?
No.
Sorry.
Is
that
mainstream?
Nope.
Just
no
way
Is
that
a
lifestyle?
yes-‐ish,
but
basically
impossible
Is
that
a
choice?
It’s
not
a
choice
anyone
has
the
option
of
choosing.
Maybe
one
person.
Does
that
make
sense?
I’m
trying
to
be
a
good
teacher
Beat
I
guess
if
we
have
a
follow-‐up
unit
on
Not-‐so-‐viable
but
provocatively-‐alternative
fringe
ways
of
being-‐in-‐the-‐world
We
could
cover
some
of
the
weirder
things
you
guys
brought
up
Like
lumberjack
people,
career
waiters,
beautiful
sweethearts,
depressed
elderly
gentlemen,
romantic
heroes,
and
the
alcoholic
population.
But
I
have
to
do
some
research
first
because
I
don’t
know
anything
about
that
stuff
2.
GIL
AND
JEN
on
a
date
at
the
sparkling
balcony’d
restaurant
I
have
only
seen
in
movies.
Jazz,
roses.
They
are
wearing
office
clothes.
They
are
too
young
to
be
here.
Jen
is
maybe
trying
to
be
seductive
with
this
opening
line
-‐
12
JEN
do
you
ever
feel
like
you’re
made
up
of
pure
evil?
GIL
no
JEN
like
there’s
nothing
you
wouldn’t
do
to
get
ahead
GIL
ahead
of
what
JEN
the
game
GIL
what
game
Beat
JEN
all
the
idiots
GIL
who?
JEN
all
the
unbearable
morons
GIL
who
are
you
talking
about?
Beat
JEN
ok.
GIL
what
JEN
do
you
ever
feel
like
you
just
hate
and
seethe
and
stew
GIL
maybe
one
time
13
JEN
seething
and
stewing
GIL
I
think
I
felt
that
way
one
time
JEN
do
you
ever
feel
rage
I
want
you
to
say
yes
GIL
I
love
these
wine
glasses
My
parents
never
drink
so
it’s
been
really
exciting
for
me
Becoming
acquainted
with
glassware
varieties
Beat
JEN
Rage
is
a
daily
experience
for
me
GIL
I’m
happy
with
myself
JEN
Yay
how
great
that
must
be
GIL
Thank
you
JEN
I
guess
I’m
the
only
one
who
feels
angry
and
miserable
all
the
time
Beat
GIL
I
sincerely
find
that
an
attractive
quality
Beat
JEN
Listen
I’m
sorry
GIL
No
sorry
I’m
sorry
if
I
did
anything
that
made
you
go
off
the
deep
end
JEN
14
I
know
I’m
acting
like
a
total
lunatic
GIL
I’m
sorry
you
feel
that
way
or
if
I
hurt
you
JEN
No
listen
I’m
the
sorry
one.
You’ve
been
normal
and
I’ve
been
acting
admittedly
weird
GIL
You’ve
been
nothing
but
wonderful.
There’s
no
need
to
apologize.
Hi.
Beat
JEN
That’s
good
you
say
that
because
it’s
fucked
up
how
much
women
have
to
apologize
Beat
GIL
Yeah!
That
is
fucked
up!
Women
apologizing
JEN
Are
you
just
saying
that
to
agree
with
me
GIL
No
I’m
a
feminist
Sarcastic,
but
in
a
way
that
might
seem
sincere
-‐
JEN
Oh
my
god
me
too!
twinsies!
feminist
twinsies!
Beat
JEN
I’m
never
apologizing
again
ever
For
anything
For
the
rest
of
my
life
GIL
That’s
really
sexy
WAITER
comes
–
apathetic
-‐
WAITER
15
Voila
behold
your
gorgeous
salad
JEN
This
isn’t
what
I
ordered
WAITER
This
actually
is
exactly
what
you
ordered
JEN
Are
you
kidding
me
no
WAITER
Yes
you
said
you
wanted
the
/
garden
salad
yes
JEN
Garden
salad
yes
A
little
pause
happens
either
here
GIL
Great!
Or
here
JEN
So
what
are
all
these
tomatoes
on
it
WAITER
It
comes
with
tomatoes
JEN
I
just
wanted
garden,
salad,
simple.
Why
did
you
add
tomatoes
WAITER
It
comes
with
tomatoes
did
you
read
the
menu?
This
is
so
bad
that
you’re
complaining
I
did
everything
right
and
now
I
will
get
in
so
much
trouble
If
you
just
paid
attention
when
you
ordered
-‐
JEN
How
dare
you
How
dare
you
How
dare
you
talk
to
me
like
that
I
come
here
all
the
time
I’m
like
a
major
patron
WAITER
16
“Oops”
GIL
We’re
not
paying
you
to
be
rude
WAITER
You’re
not
actually
paying
me
personally
anything
at
all
GIL
and
JEN
But
you
are
getting
paid
by
someone
right
now
which
should
de
facto
preclude
rudeness
WAITER
It’s
my
duty
as
an
activist
to
be
rude
to
oblivious
couples
like
you
JEN
You’re
an
activist?
GIL
We’re
not
a
couple
yet
JEN
What
do
you
mean
when
you
say
you’re
an
activist?
WAITER
I
go
to
activist
meetings
where
we
brainstorm
ways
to
make
the
world
better
JEN
That’s
it?
WAITER
And
sometimes
we
hurt
people
MANAGER
comes
over
MANAGER
Hi
we
are
so
sorry
On
behalf
of
our
entire
restaurant
team
we
are
sorry
I
personally
am
sorry
GIL
This
was
extremely
inappropriate
as
a
wait
staff
experience
MANAGER
We
are
so
sorry
aren’t
we?
17
WAITER
Yeah
sorry
GIL
You’re
not
sorry
enough
MANAGER
Bottom
line
is:
we’re
sorry.
Go
waiter
just
go
outside
go
We
will
provide
proper
training
WAITER
I’m
in
a
dark
place
WAITER
and
MANAGER
exit.
GIL
That
was
weird
I’m
so
sorry
you
had
to
deal
with
that
JEN
I’m
going
to
replay
that
scene
in
my
head
all
week
wondering
what
happened
GIL
I
don’t
even
like
restaurant
food
I
just
like
feeling
taken
care
of
JEN
Ok
GIL
So
what
do
you
do
for
a
living
Jen?
JEN
I’m
an
architect
GIL
Wow
But
you’re
twenty
six
JEN
So
GIL
A
26-‐year-‐old
architect
JEN
And
you’re
like
23?
Or
are
you
22?
18
GIL
So
you,
ok,
what,
sit
at
a
desk
and
look
at
emails
JEN
Oh
my
god
you’re
22
GIL
Maybe
there
are
a
few
spreadsheets
that
you
manage?
JEN
I
design
skyscrapers.
GIL
That’s
Wow
and
they
pay
you
JEN
Yeah
GIL
Cool.
JEN
Thanks
GIL
Really
cool
Beat
GIL
How
/
much?
JEN
What
do
you
do,
Gil?
GIL
I’m
a
sensitive
caregiver.
But
I
don’t
have
anyone
to
take
care
of
right
now.
Beat
JEN
You
take
care
of…
?
GIL
19
I’m
a
caregiver?
JEN
You’re
a
caretaker?
GIL
No
I
give
care.
Pause
JEN
Gil,
even
though
I’m
very
confident
and
make
a
lot
of
money
I’m
not
attracted
to
sensitive
care
giving
men
I’m
attracted
to
men
who
are
even
more
confident
and
make
even
more
money
than
I
do.
GIL
I
am
also
very
attracted
to
confident
people
with
money
So
I
understand
where
you’re
coming
from
JEN
Also
I
think
in
order
to
meaningfully
pair
with
someone
Your
parents
need
to
make
within
fifty
thousand
dollars
of
their
parents
GIL
I
can’t
tell
if
you’re
joking
or
not
JEN
That’s
why
I
have
trouble
with
dating
apps
because
none
of
them
ask
about
parental
income
They
ask
what’s
your
favorite
band
Do
you
want
love
or
sex
But
what’s
buried
deep
beneath
those
questions
is:
values
And
what’s
buried
deep
beneath
values
is:
How
much
money
do
your
parents
make.
GIL
leans
in
very
close
and
takes
JEN’S
hand
across
the
table
on
this
line
–
“Meaningfully,”
“Romantically,”
-‐
GIL
I
think
it’s
safe
to
infer
from
the
way
we’re
both
dressed
and
using
language
That
our
parents
make
around
the
same
amount
of
money
So
that
when
WAITER
enters,
now,
She
has
to
break
them
up
awkwardly
20
WAITER
Is
now
a
good
moment
or
JEN
You
again
GIL
Didn’t
you
get
fired
JEN
I
thought
you
were
in
a
dark
place
WAITER
Would
you
two
lovebirds
perchance
enjoy
a
dessert
menu?
GIL
Wow
that’s
really
sweet
you
think
we’re
lovebirds!
But
–
ha
-‐
haha
–
I
feel
I
must
clarify
that
we’re
not
officially
lovebirds
yet.
Yet-‐yet.
WAITER
It’s
very
disrespectful
to
lean
across
the
table
romantically
while
working
people
like
me
have
to
come
and
ask
if
you
want
food
JEN
I’d
apologize
but
I
just
made
a
commitment
to
stop
apologizing
GIL
You’re
ruining
our
date
WAITER
I
go
on
dates
too,
believe
it
or
not,
during
which
I
behave
respectfully
JEN
Listen
I’m
glad
you’re
back
I
want
to
ask
you
something
WAITER
You
don’t
get
to
just
ask
me
whatever
you
want
I
don’t
exist
for
you
JEN
Earlier
you
said
you
were
an
activist–
WAITER
Activist
I
never
said
activist
what
are
you
talking
about
JEN
21
Earlier,
when
you
mentioned
activism-‐
WAITER
I
would
never
mention
that
JEN
But
yes
you
did,
a
second
ago,
activism,
you
said
activism-‐
WAITER
Would
you
like
to
see
a
dessert
menu?
We
have
a
variety
of
cakes
and
puddings
JEN
What
is
the
activism
you
were
talking
about!
What
do
you
mean
by
activism?
Very
intense
and
urgent
-‐
WAITER
Shut
up
Shut
up
Shut
up
ok!
Are
you
trying
to
get
us
all
killed?
GIL
/Woah
JEN
What?
What
are
you
talking
about?
WAITER
Staying
Alive
what
are
you
talking
about?
A
pantomime-‐y
loud
whisper
-‐
JEN
Ok
“What”
“Is”
“Activism”?
How
can
I
find
out
more
“Info”
“About”
“Activism”?
Inhale.
Hushed-‐
deadly
serious-‐
urgent-‐
WAITER
Behind
this
restaurant
you
will
find
a
gravel
path
Follow
the
gravel
path
to
a
scrap
metal
shack
Inside
the
scrap
metal
shack
find
two
staircases
Take
the
spiral
staircase
It
will
lead
you
to
a
forest
Yes
-‐
an
indoors
upstairs
forest
In
the
forest
you
will
meet
a
bear
Don't
trust
this
bear
22
You
will
meet
a
fox
Ignore
the
fox
Don't
tell
the
fox
anything
about
yourself
You
will
meet
a
rabbit
She
will
hand
you
a
cellphone
Answer
the
cellphone
The
deep
voice
on
the
other
line
will
guide
you
to
the
crystal
lake
At
the
bottom
of
the
crystal
lake
you
will
find
three
doors
One
of
coral,
one
of
seaweed,
one
of
bone.
Take
the
bone
door
You
will
find
a
bone
cave
Follow
the
breadcrumbs
to
a
second
bone
cave
Hang
up
the
cell
phone
Hold
your
breath
And
then
look
up.
Pause
JEN
What’s
in
the
second
bone
cave?
WAITER
That’s
where
our
activist
group
meets.
Consider
this
an
invitation.
GIL
I
thought
activists
were
a
myth
like
dragons
or
mermaids
JEN
Does
the
activist
meeting
have
a
dress
code?
WAITER
Wear
a
mask
and
a
jumpsuit
JEN
What’s
a
jumpsuit?
How
is
a
jumpsuit
different
from
a
regular
suit?
GIL
Jen
I
think
she’s
trying
to
hurt
you
WAITER
Aerodynamic,
one
color,
head
to
toe
GIL
I
would
like
to
see
a
desert
menu
WAITER
23
And
make
sure
your
mask
is
an
animal
mask
GIL
Actually
can
we
just
have
the
check?
Thank
you
MANAGER
enters
MANAGER
I
am
so
sorry
this
is
happening
again
We
are
so
embarrassed
I
personally
am
embarrassed
this
is
happening
a
second
time
GIL
Is
it
going
to
happen
a
third
time?
MANAGER
Your
meal
is
on
the
house
On
behalf
of
everyone
here
in
our
little
restaurant
family,
Your
food
is
free
GIL
That’s
good
because
I
was
about
to
ask
Jen
here
to
pay
for
everything
JEN
You
were
going
to
ask
me
to
pay
for
your
dinner
on
our
first
date?
GIL
I
was
gonna
make
you
feel
really
good
about
it
And
Special
MANAGER
Ok
waiter
let’s
go
To
Jen,
deadly
serious:
WAITER
Meet
me
in
the
second
cave
of
bone.
They’re
gone.
GIL
Should
we
go
to
the
coat
check?
JEN
“Meet
me
in
the
second
cave
of
bone”?
Wow
GIL
24
Jen
I
think
she
wants
to
hurt
you
She
did
explicitly
mention
hurting
people
at
one
point
JEN
Maybe
I
don’t
care
GIL
Do
you
like
getting
hurt?
I
can’t
tell
if
that’s
attractive
or
not
JEN
No
I
don’t
like
getting
hurt
I
just
–
that
was
exciting
and
-‐
maybe
there’s
something
beyond
getting
hurt
GIL
What
Mystic
reverie
-‐
JEN
Like
Importance
beyond
Suffering
GIL
Like
if
you
get
hurt
enough
something
good
happens?
JEN
Like
Value
beyond
Pain
GIL
Should
we
go
to
the
coat
check?
I’m
kind
of
excited
because
I’ve
never
been
to
a
restaurant
with
a
coat
check
before
They
stand,
gather
their
things
-‐
JEN
It
was
interesting
when
she
called
us
“oblivious”
an
“oblivious
couple”
GIL
I
know
“couple”
she
said
“couple”!
I
was
like
“not
yet
lady”
JEN
Are
we
really
oblivious?
GIL
Oblivious
to
what
25
JEN
Exactly
exactly!
Oblivious
to
what
GIL
You’re
very
beautiful
Jen
JEN
That’s
arbitrary
GIL
I
want
to
go
on
two
more
dates
with
you,
minimum
JEN
It’s
boring
when
you
tell
me
I’m
attractive
But
it’s
exciting
to
think
there’s
a
whole
other
strata
of
experience
we’re
oblivious
to
and
could
discover
GIL
Yeah
oh
my
god
yes
you’re
so
smart
GIL
and
JEN
exit.
The
restaurant
is
empty
for
a
moment.
Relief.
Faint
piano
becomes
audible.
A
little
(&
maybe
disgusting)
Mouse
emerges
from
the
Restaurant
Mouse
Hole.
Mouse
does
a
tiny
ballet
across
the
marble
floor,
anxiously
devouring
crumbs
–
we
become
aware
of
the
Mouse
Universe
–
until
Mouse
vanishes
as
-‐
WAITER
and
MANAGER
enter,
in
mid
conversation,
to
clear
the
plates,
reset
the
table,
and
sweep
the
floor:
MANAGER
How
could
you
tell
/
she
was
Ready
WAITER
She
was
full
questions
doubt
/
and
rage
MANAGER
She
was
on
a
nice
date
and
she
has
a
nice
job
/
she’s
not
Ready
WAITER
She’s
about
to
quit
her
job
and
break
up
/
with
that
guy
MANAGER
26
And
join
our
activist
group?
WAITER
I
gave
her
instructions
MANAGER
Impossibly
mystic
WAITER
It
has
to
be
a
Vision
Quest
MANAGER
She’ll
die
looking
for
the
house
with
the
forest
and
the
cave,
she’ll
never
make
it
past
the
/
breadcrumb
trail
WAITER
She’s
resourceful
I
sense
Great
/
Potential
in
her
MANAGER
You
think
you
have
the
gift
of
Sight
but
you
don’t
you’re
just
a
full
time
waitress
/
part
time
activist
WAITER
We’ve
never
gonna
assemble
a
team
if
you’re
always
saying
no
/
and
anxiously
MANAGER
I’m
not
always
saying
no
I
say
yes
I’ve
said
yes
Realizing
-‐
WAITER
They
didn’t
tip
MANAGER
We
didn’t
charge
them
WAITER
They
should’ve
tipped
MANAGER
Their
food
was
free
WAITER
So
they
should’ve
double
tipped
MANAGER
27
You’re
not
entitled
to
a
tip
WAITER
I
hate
working
at
this
restaurant.
Beat
MANAGER
Instead
of
thinking
“maybe
one
day
they’ll
be
the
servant
and
I’ll
be
the
customer,”
which
is
violent,
and
continuing
the
logic
of
violence,
you
have
to
think
“maybe
one
day
everyone
will
be
a
servant
and
no
one
will
be
a
customer”
even
though
I’ll
admit
I
can’t
even
imagine
what
or
how
WAITER
I
hate
working
at
this
restaurant.
Beat
MANAGER
I
know
I’m
sorry.
I
hated
serving
those
kids
too.
WAITER
The
young
professionals
with
the
garden
salad?
MANAGER
I
wanted
to
hurt
them
WAITER
But
you
pampered
them
MANAGER
I
did
want
to
kill
them
though
WAITER
Because
they
were
entitled
or
because
they
were
attractive?
MANAGER
And
they
were
happy
Beat
WAITER
We’re
happy
Slow
smiles
open
up
on
their
faces
28
MANAGER
Is
anyone
watching
WAITER
No
Yes
I
don’t
know
MANAGER
Maybe
the
little
disgusting
mouse
is
watching
WAITER
There
are
cameras
MANAGER
There
are
no
cameras
WAITER
They
said
they
were
getting
cameras
MANAGER
They
made
that
up
to
scare
you
WAITER
I’m
so
scared
MANAGER
and
WAITER
kiss
tenderly
Mmmmm
work
kiss
WAITER
You’re
a
hot
activist
MANAGER
No
you’re
a
hot
activist
WAITER
No
you’re
a
hot
activist
MANAGER
No
you
are
the
hottest
activist
WAITER
I
realize
I
really
rely
on
positive
energy
from
you
to
make
it
through
my
daily
day
to
day
is
that
bad?
WAITER
and
MANAGER
kiss
again.
29
WAITER
How
long
before
we
go
home
MANAGER
Home
to
our
sweet
home
where
we
live
happily
together?
WAITER
Yes
to
that
sweet
home
how
long
till
we
go?
MANAGER
Seven
and
a
half
hours
WAITER
But
maybe
only
seven
hours
right
MANAGER
If
you
mop
the
floor
really
fast
WAITER
I
wish
we
could
get
paid
to
be
career
activists
and
quit
this
job
MANAGER
That
doesn’t
make
sense
WAITER
It
makes
emotional
sense
MANAGER
No
“career
activist”
that
doesn’t
make
any
sense
at
all.
WAITER
Neither
does
career
waitress.
3.
LANDLORDE
is
showing
STRANGER
around
town.
LANDLORDE
looks
nice
and
carries
a
briefcase
STRANGER
looks
ragged.
They
stare
into
the
distance
as
if
on
a
hilltop
Or
walk
as
if
on
a
tour
They
occasionally
point
30
STRANGER
So
where’s
the
town
factory?
LANDLORDE
There
STRANGER
And
where’s
the
abandoned
factory?
LANDLORDE
There
STRANGER
Where’s
the
middle
school?
LANDLORDE
Left
at
the
factory
STRANGER
Where’s
the
middle
income
area?
LANDLORDE
Left
at
the
middle
school
STRANGER
Where’s
the
private
middle
school?
LANDLORDE
Secret
location
STRANGER
What
about
the
para-‐militarized
police
station?
LANDLORDE
Secret
location
STRANGER
Where’s
the
dog
pound?
LANDLORDE
Inside
the
para-‐militarized
police
station
Abrupt
freeze.
STRANGER
and
LANDLORDE
glance
at
each
other
suspiciously.
Suspended.
Rapidly
resuming-‐
31
STRANGER
Where’s
the
cute
little
restaurant
area?
LANDLORDE
All
around
us,
rapidly
expanding,
STRANGER
Where’s
the
OfficeMax?
LANDLORDE
There
STRANGER
Where’s
the
OfficeDepot?
LANDLORDE
Next
to
OfficeMax
but
we
usually
just
order
from
Amazon
dot
com
STRANGER
Where’s
the
PetCo?
LANDLORDE
points
-‐
LANDLORDE
Right
there
STRANGER
points
slightly
left
of
that-‐
STRANGER
Are
you
sure
that’s
not
the
PetCo?
LANDLORDE
No
that’s
the
PetCo
there
STRANGER
So
what’s
that?
LANDLORDE
That’s
the
dentist
STRANGER
They
look
exactly
like
LANDLORDE
The
dentist
and
the
PetCo?
32
STRANGER
Where’s
the
farm
land?
LANDLORDE
Past
the
outer
limits
STRANGER
You
have
“outer
limits”?
LANDLORDE
Correct
STRANGER
And
that’s
where
all
the
food
is
grown?
LANDLORDE
Correct
STRANGER
And
then
the
food
gets
canned
or
boxed
and
shipped?
LANDLORDE
Wrapped
in
plastic,
put
on
trucks
STRANGER
Where’s
the
skyscraper?
LANDLORDE
Just
look
up
A
26
year
old
designed
that
STRANGER
Where’s
the
huge
pit
in
the
earth
with
smoke
billowing
out
of
it?
Abrupt
freeze.
STRANGER
and
LANDLORDE
glance
at
each
other
suspiciously.
Suspended.
Rapidly
resuming-‐
LANDLORDE
Dead
ahead
STRANGER
Where’s
the
mental
health
clinic?
LANDLORE
The
line
stretches
around
the
block
you
have
to
wait
years
for
an
appointment
33
STRANGER
Where’s
the
pop-‐up
art
gallery?
LANDLORDE
Mmmm
I
think
it’s
over
there
somewhere
Maybe
not
though
I’ve
never
actually
been
to
the
pop-‐up
art
gallery
STRANGER
Where’s
the
nuclear
powerplant?
LANDLORDE
Just
a
short
five-‐minute
walk
from
here
STRANGER
Where’s
the
other
nuclear
power
plant?
LANDLORDE
On
the
way
home
STRANGER
Where’s
your
Dad?
LANDLORDE
There.
STRANGER
Where’s
your
dad’s
dad?
LANDLORDE
Nope
STRANGER
Where’s
Human
Resources?
LANDLORDE
Nope
STRANGER
Where’s
the
scary
run-‐down
poor
area
that
everyone
feels
confused
about?
LANDLORDE
Directly
opposite
main
street
STRANGER
34
Where’s
the
decorate-‐your-‐own
pottery
workshop?
LANDLORDE
There
are
lots
of
decorate-‐your-‐own
pottery
workshops
they’re
basically
everywhere.
STRANGER
Where
can
I
park
my
bulldozer?
LANDLORDE
You
have
a
bulldozer?
STRANGER
Oops
I
mean
what’s
the
median
income?
LANDLORDE
Can
I
see
your
bulldozer
permit?
STRANGER
I
don’t
have
a
bulldozer.
What’s
the
median
income?
LANDLORDE
The
median
income
is
OK
It’s
basically
possible
to
live
in
town
and
stay
alive
STRANGER
It’s
basically
possible
to
live
in
town
and
stay
alive?
LANDLORDE
Yeah
like
I
said
the
median
income
is
OK
STRANGER
Do
any
tragedies
happen
in
this
town?
LANDLORDE
Every
five
to
ten
minutes
STRANGER
Do
any
fatal
accidents
happen
in
town?
LANDLORDE
Nothing
is
an
accident
STRANGER
Say,
are
there
any
activists
in
this
town?
35
Abrupt
halt.
Bigger
than
the
others.
LANDLORDE
is
derailed
this
time.
LANDLORDE
What
do
you
mean
by
“activists”?
STRANGER
You
know
like
activists
LANDLORDE
Activists
are
a
myth
comparable
to
dragons
or
mermaids
STRANGER
Activists
are
real
LANDLORDE
Maybe
they
were
real
fifty
years
ago
but
not
anymore
STRANGER
There
are
activists
alive
today
practicing
activism
in
secret
and
in
public
LANDLORDE
But
how
do
they
do
it
STRANGER
Do
what
LANDLORDE
Do
activism
STRANGER
How
do
they
do
activism?
LANDLORDE
Yes
how
does
one
do
activism?
STRANGER
How
indeed?
Creaky
pause.
They
smile
insincerely
at
each
other.
LANDLORDE
Great
here’s
a
copy
of
your
one-‐year
lease
If
you
could
just
sign
that
for
me
36
STRANGER
Great
thanks
and
which
house
is
my
house
again?
LANDLORDE
I’m
sorry
to
ask,
but
aren’t
you
a
little
old
to
be
living
on
your
own
and
still
renting?
STRANGER
If
you
could
please
just
remind
me
which
house
is
the
one
that
will
be
my
house?
LANDLORDE
What
brings
you
to
town,
anyway?
STRANGER
Which
house
am
I
renting?
LANDLORDE
That
one
right
there.
STRANGER
I
don’t
see
anything
where
you’re
pointing
You’re
not
pointing
at
anything
LANDLORDE
It’s
very
small.
You
may
have
to
squint.
STRANGER
You
mean
that
tiny
thing
is
a
house?
LANDLORDE
That
tiny
house
is
where
you
live.
STRANGER
How
am
I
gonna
fit?
LANDLORDE
Here
are
your
keys.
STRANGER
I
won’t
be
able
to
stand
up
inside
LANDLORDE
Rent
is
due
at
the
end
of
the
month.
Beat.
They
smile
insincerely
at
each
other.
37
STRANGER
You
live
in
a
mansion
don’t
you
LANDLORDE
Do
you
mean
a
man-‐sion?
Or
a
woman-‐sion?
STRANGER
You
live
in
a
palatial
yacht
club
is
that
it?
LANDLORDE
Is
it
a
club
if
it’s
just
me?
Pause.
They
smile
insincerely
at
each
other.
STRANGER
No.
LANDLORDE
In
conclusion,
welcome
to
the
neighborhood.
Reminder
that
this
is
friendly,
gated
bedroom
community
with
a
competitive
school
system,
so
don’t
let
me
catch
you
creeping
around
after
dark.
Good
luck
finding
a
job,
buying
food,
staying
healthy,
making
friends,
and
respecting
yourself
in
this
pathetic,
untenable
shit
house.
LANDLORDE
waves
his
hand
and
a
tiny
little
house
wheels
itself
(Mystically?
Vaudevillian-‐ly?)
on
stage.
LANDLORDE
vanishes.
The
wind
howls.
The
sun
rapidly
sets.
STRANGER,
very
painfully
and
awkwardly,
squeezes
himself
and
all
his
bags
inside
it.
He
just
barely
fits.
“Moving
In.”
When
Stranger
is
finally
inside,
he
looks
out
through
a
window,
and
addresses
us
matter-‐of-‐factly.
STRANGER
Being
cute
won’t
save
you
Working
hard
won’t
save
you
Drinking
beer
won’t
save
you
Getting
eight
hours
of
sleep
won’t
save
you
Reading
won’t
save
you
Being
in
a
positive
mutually
beneficial
relationship
won’t
save
you
Solar
panels
won’t
save
you
Economists
won’t
save
you
38
Having
children
won’t
save
you
Having
won’t
save
you
4.
Late
at
night.
WAITER
and
MANAGER’s
little
shoulder-‐high
house
(wheels
itself?
erects
itself?)
onstage,
echoing
Stranger’s
house.
Their
house
is
less
tiny
and
slightly
more
liveable
than
his,
but
actors
still
have
to
crouch
a
little
to
stand
up
inside.
Waiter
and
Manager
are
home
now,
and
we
can
see
parts
of
them
through
a
window(s)
–
doing
bedtime
activities,
taking
out
their
contact
lenses
-‐
They
are
about
to
fall
asleep.
MANAGER
Are
you
still
there?
WAITER
Yes
are
you
still
there?
MANAGER
Yes
are
you
ok?
WAITER
Yes
I’m
ok
are
you
ok?
MANAGER
Yes
is
that
you
I’m
touching
with
my
foot?
WAITER
Yes
it’s
me
MANAGER
Ok
good
and
you’re
ok?
WAITER
Yes
I’m
ok
are
you
ok
and
still
here?
MANAGER
Yes
I’m
still
here
and
also
ok,
yes
And
you’re
here
too
WAITER
You’re
still
here
I’m
still
here
39
No
one
else
is
here
Neither
of
us
left
the
oven
on
MANAGER
Neither
of
us
left
the
oven
on
WAITER
Please
keep
touching
my
foot
with
your
foot
-‐
I
don’t
want
our
feet
to
stop
touching
Sweetly
-‐
MANAGER
Communicating.
Not
so
sweet
anymore
-‐
hey
actually
hey
hey
hey
can
we
check
in
about
how
we’re
communicating
WAITER
Oh
Ok
MANAGER
Ok
what
WAITER
Ok
as
in
ok
MANAGER
Ok
WAITER
You
start
MANAGER
Oh,
um
Long
Pause
WAITER
Goodnight
maybe
we
can
talk
about
this
tomorrow
MANAGER
40
I
feel
that
I
am
very
clear
and
direct
and
let
you
now
how
I’m
feeling
but
you
do
not
do
that
WAITER
We
have
different
communication
styles
MANAGER
Not
convinced
there’s
such
a
thing
as
different
styles.
I
think
there’s
just
communicating
or
not.
WAITER
Well
except
we
are
living
proof
of
different
styles
–you
think
everyone’s
the
same?
MANAGER
No
but
I
think
there’s
what
you
feel
and
then
there’s
articulating
that
as
clearly
and
bravely
as
possible
to
another
person
WAITER
And
you
think
I
do
not
do
that
MANAGER
No
I
don’t
totally
think
that’s
what
you
do
WAITER
And
what
do
you
totally
think
is
what
I
do
do?
MANAGER
You’re
weird!
You
want
me
to
guess
how
you’re
doing
which
is
impossible
All
these
little
games
WAITER
I
don’t
know
what
I
feel
ever
MANAGER
How
can
that
be?
Your
body
is
designed
to
let
you
know
what
you
feel
WAITER
I
never
know
what
I’m
thinking
until
three
days
later.
I
don’t
know
what
I’m
saying
until
after
I’ve
said
it.
MANAGER
I
always
make
sure
I
know
what
I’m
talking
about
before
I
open
my
mouth,
out
of
respect
for
myself
and
the
people
around
me
WAITER
How
nifty
for
you
41
MANAGER
Seriously
WAITER
No
are
you
kidding
No
that’s
not
how
it
works
at
all
–
talking
is
just
go,
go,
go
go
go
go,
see
what
happens
next,
jump
off
a
cliff
This
is
not
a
pause,
but!
As
they
talk
and
continue
talking,
STRANGER
tip-‐toes
out
of
his
house
and
creeps
over
to
their
house.
He
watches
them
through
a
window.
He
takes
photographs
of
them
and
scribbles
notes
about
what
they’re
saying.
They
do
not
notice
him.
MANAGER
Ok
deep
breath
All
it
is
is
like
If
you
don’t
want
to
watch
TV,
please
just
fucking
tell
me
you
don’t
want
to
watch
TV
WAITER
I
have
no
idea
if
I
want
to
watch
TV
or
not,
I’m
working
it
out
live
in
the
moment
with
you
MANAGER
But
do
you
have
to
be
surly
and
random
and
passive
aggressive
while
you
work
it
out
live
in
the
moment
with
me?
WAITER
Is
that
what
you
felt
I
was
being?
MANAGER
I
must
admit
that
that
is
how
I
felt
you
were
being,
yes.
Yes?
WAITER
And
you
didn’t
tell
me?
MANAGER
And
I’m
telling
you
now
WAITER
That’s
like
the
most
unbearable
thing
MANAGER
I’m
sorry
I’m
just
trying
to
figure
out
your
process
like
are
you
working
through
something
when
you’re
being
randomly
surly
or
what’s
going
on
with
you
or
did
I
do
something
bad
that
I
don’t
know
about?
42
WAITER
No
I’m
sorry
MANAGER
Or
like
when
you
attacked
those
kids
today
at
the
restaurant
I
just
you
scare
me
sometimes
I’m
so
confused
WAITER
I’m
sorry
MANAGER
It’s
ok
no
I’m
sorry
also
sorry
for
attacking
you
at
bedtime
WAITER
We’re
different
MANAGER
We’re
different
but
also
very
similar
WAITER
But
also
very
different
MANAGER
We
have
our
differences
WAITER
But
we
are
similar
yes
you’re
right
MANAGER
Thank
you.
WAITER
I
want
to
be
like
you
MANAGER
You
are
WAITER
Thank
you
MANAGER
You
are
already
like
me
WAITER
Maybe
you
could
be
a
little
more
like
me
though
43
MANAGER
Ha.
Beat
WAITER
Say
it
MANAGER
Say
what
WAITER
Say
I
want
to
be
more
like
you
MANAGER
…Oh
WAITER
Oh
what
MANAGER
But
do
I?
WAITER
Do
you
what
MANAGER
Want
that?
Pause
WAITER
Just
try
saying
“I
want
to
be
more
like
you”
and
see
what
happens
MANAGER
“I
want
to
be
more
like
you”
WAITER
Great
job
wow
Wow
You
did
it
Thank
you
How
did
that
feel?
MANAGER
Uhhh
m
44
LANDLORDE
tip-‐toes
on,
echoing
Stranger,
and
begins
taking
photographs
of
the
couple
through
a
window.
Waiter
and
Manager
do
not
notice
-‐
but
Stranger
does
and
they
acknowledge
each
other
competitively
while
each
continues
their
individual
surveillance.
WAITER
I
didn’t
want
to
watch
TV
earlier
because
I
wanted
to
have
sex
instead
but
felt
embarrassed
about
how
to
communicate
that.
MANAGER
Ok
there
is
a
person
who
loves
you
who
is
and
has
been
giving
you
love
Are
you
thinking
about
that
person?
Are
you
considering
that
person’s
wants
and
needs
and
fatigue
level?
What
is
it
like
to
be
your
girlfriend
-‐
are
you
thinking
about
that?
WAITER
It’s
just
hard
because
we
work
at
that
hellish
restaurant
together
and
you’re
my
boss
MANAGER
We
can
be
happy
within
our
circumstances
WAITER
Imagine
if
I
were
your
boss
MANAGER
We’re
peers
fiscally
and
romantically
peers
WAITER
“Reset
table
six!”
MANAGER
No
WAITER
“Reset
table
six
or
I’ll
fire
you”
MANAGER
I’m
happy,
ok,
basically
happy
that
I
live
in
this
house
with
you
WAITER
I’m
happy
but
I’m
sad.
Pause.
45
MANAGER
It’s
cool
that
you
wanted
to
have
sex
instead
of
watching
TV
WAITER
It
is
pretty
cool
isn’t
it
MANAGER
Maybe
we
can
have
sex
tomorrow
WAITER
Tomorrow
MANAGER
When
we’re
not
both
so
tired
and
angry
at
each
other
WAITER
Why
do
you
get
to
decide
MANAGER
I
was
suggesting
not
deciding
WAITER
Let’s
go
to
bed
We’re
both
tired
In
seven
hours
we’ll
feel
totally
different
MANAGER
That’s
exactly
what
I
just
said
kind
of
The
light
in
the
house
goes
out.
Crickets
chirp.
Darkness.
STRANGER
and
LANDLORDE
lock
eyes.
Tense
beat.
The
light
in
the
house
comes
back
on.
Sweetly,
as
if
tentatively
resetting
-‐
MANAGER
Are
you
still
there?
WAITER
Yes
are
you
still
there?
MANAGER
Yes
are
you
ok?
46
WAITER
Yes
I’m
ok
are
you
ok?
MANAGER
Yes
is
that
you
I’m
touching
with
my
foot?
WAITER
Yes
it’s
me
MANAGER
Ok
good
and
you’re
ok?
WAITER
Yes
I’m
ok
are
you
ok
and
still
here?
MANAGER
Yes
I’m
still
here
and
also
ok
yes
And
you’re
here
too
WAITER
You’re
still
here
I’m
still
here
No
one
else
is
here
Neither
of
us
left
the
oven
on
MANAGER
Neither
of
us
left
the
oven
on
WAITER
Please
keep
touching
my
foot
with
your
foot
-‐
I
don’t
want
our
feet
to
stop
touching
The
light
in
the
house
goes
out.
Crickets
chirp.
Darkness.
LANDLORDE
and
STRANGER
lock
eyes
threateningly.
Low
synthesizer
humming
Dry
ice
A
tiny
bulldozer
falls
out
of
STRANGER’s
pocket.
It
rolls
across
the
stage
and
lands
near
LANDLORDE.
Too
Casually,
Noir,
Very
Calm:
LANDLORDE
You
dropped
something
47
STRANGER
That’s
not
mine
LANDLORDE
It
just
fell
out
of
your
pocket
STRANGER
I’m
wearing
a
jumpsuit
I
don’t
have
any
pockets
LANDLORDE
I
literally
just
watched
it
fall
out
of
your
pocket
STRANGER
Ha
impossible
LANDLORDE
It
appears
to
be
some
kind
of
tiny
bulldozer
But
it’s
making
a
faint
ticking
sound
and
it’s
warm
to
the
touch
STRANGER
Hey
can
I
look
at
it?
LANDLORDE
You
can
see
it
from
here
STRANGER
Let
me
hold
it
for
one
second
LANDLORDE
What
are
you
doing
in
this
town?
Beat
STRANGER
What’s
that
on
your
neck?
LANDLORDE
It’s
just
dry
skin
STRANGER
Or
it
looks
almost
like
blood?
LANDLORDE
It’s
eczema
I
have
eczema
48
STRANGER
An
abnormal
skin
condition?
That
only
comes
out
at
night?
LANDLORDE
Ok
you’re
right
it’s
a
hickey
just
a
normal
hickey
from
my
romantic
partner
STRANGER
What
kind
of
romantic
partner
leaves
a
bite
like
that?
LANDLORDE
What
are
you
doing
in
this
town?
Beat.
Thunderclap?
STRANGER
That
depends.
LANDLORDE
Depends
on
what.
STRANGER
How
long
does
puberty
last
around
here?
LANDLORDE
Six
weeks
STRANGER
What
about
pregnancy
how
long
does
that
go
for?
LANDLORDE
Nigh
on
three
years
I
reckon
STRANGER
What
about
abortions
how
long
do
them
things
take?
LANDLORDE
Ritual
process
lasts
a
fortnight
STRANGER
And
courtship?
LANDLORDE
Three
dates,
exactly
three,
no
more
no
less
STRANGER
And
condoms?
49
LANDLORDE
There’s
a
tax
on
condoms
I
mean
a
heavy
tax
practically
a
ban
on
condoms.
STRANGER
What
about
the
sex
act?
LANDLORDE
Having
sex
is
middle
class
STRANGER
Just
as
I
suspected
LANDLORDE
What
are
you
doing
in
this
town?
Beat
STRANGER
I’m
trying
to
increase
the
number
of
emails
I’m
bcc’d
on.
Pretty
soon
I’ll
be
bcc’d
on
every
email
in
this
zip
code.
LANDLORDE
You’re
with
the
NSA?
STRANGER
I
want
to
know
what
other
people
are
up
to
without
having
them
know
that
I
know
what
they’re
up
to
LANDLORDE
What
are
you
really
doing
in
my
town?
Beat
STRANGER
Are
you
like
the
town
mascot
or
something?
LANDLORDE
That’s
exactly
what
I
am
Now
Who
are
you
What’s
your
hidden
agenda?
STRANGER
Redistribution
LANDLORDE
What’s
your
plan
B?
50
STRANGER
Planned
parenthood
LANDLORDE
What’s
your
backstory?
STRANGER
I
tried
to
tell
someone
my
backstory
once
but
no
one
wants
to
hear
my
backstory
No
one
wants
to
hear
my
backstory
because
it’s
so
terribly
heartbreaking
There
isn’t
even
a
single
uplifting
moment
in
it
It’s
just
bad
LANDLORDE
Wanna
hear
my
story?
There
are
some
uplifting
parts
in
my
story
STRANGER
I
hate
feeling
uplifted
LANDLORDE
That’s
suspicious
What
are
you
doing
in
this
town?
Beat
STRANGER
Listen
buddy,
I
just
wanna
start
a
peaceful
new
life
LANDLORDE
Why
here
STRANGER
Seems
nice
here
LANDLORDE
It’s
nice
in
the
nice
parts
and
dark
in
the
dark
parts
and
you
can’t
afford
to
live
in
the
nice
parts
STRANGER
You
don’t
know
what’s
in
my
bank
account
LANDLORDE
I’m
the
town
banker
STRANGER
I
thought
you
were
the
landlord
51
LANDLORDE
I
wear
many
hats
STRANGER
You’re
a
conglomerate?
LANDLORDE
Conglomerate
hybrid
STRANGER
Got
a
monopoly?
LANDLORDE
Vertically
integrated
STRANGER
So
you
control
the
banks,
the
zoning
commission,
the
school
board,
the
food
system,
the
para-‐militarized
police
station,
the
pharmaceuticals,
and
the
radio
channels?
LANDLORDE
Ride
em
cowgirl.
Factories
in
China.
Beat.
Thunderclap.
The
sheer
horror
of
Landlorde’s
power
prompts
Stranger
to
finally
reveal:
The
Truth:
STRANGER
Truth
is,
I’m
a
crazy
fucker
full
of
hate.
There
is
nothing
fun
or
funny
about
me.
I’m
here
to
bulldoze
everything
and
spare
no
one.
LANDLORDE
A
lone
wolf
type
eh?
I
respect
that.
STRANGER
A
straight-‐up
terrorist.
Note,
here,
that
STRANGER
and
LANDLORDE
are
probably
both
white
men.
Stranger
spray
paints
a
big
red
X
on
Waiter
and
Manager’s
house.
LANDLORDE
Huh.
Listen
buddy.
I’ll
be
honest.
I’ve
been
trying
to
bulldoze
this
house
for
years
to
make
room
for
a
luxury
high
rise-‐
But
it
never
works.
STRANGER
Why
not?
52
LANDLORDE
There’s
a
secret
ring
of
activists
in
this
town
determined
to
stop
any
bulldozer.
STRANGER
A
secret
ring
of
activists?
LANDLORDE
A
secret
ring
of
part-‐time
waitresses
part-‐time
activists.
I
keep
trying
to
kill
them
but
they’re
protected
by
an
elaborate
cave
network.
Caves
made
out
of
bone.
STRANGER
What
else
have
you
been
keeping
secret?
LANDLORDE
waives
his
hand,
and
GIL
and
JEN
appear,
as
if
suspended
in
a
snow
globe,
holding
hands,
giggling,
and
skipping
eerily
in
place,
en
route
to
their
next
scene.
LANDLORDE
and
STRANGER
consider
them.
LANDLORDE
speaks
in
the
raptured
voice
of
prophecy
-‐
LANDLORDE
Behold Gil and Jen.
These two beautiful middle class twenty year olds are more important than I am.
They’re more important than any of us.
And somehow – I’m not totally sure how, but somehow –
All our fates, the destiny of this whole crazy town, rests in their young hands.
If they kiss each other by the summer solstice, if they can put aside their differences
and work up the courage to share One Kiss of True Feeling, then maybe, just maybe,
the local economy will recover.
So much hinges on that one heterosexual touch.
STRANGER
Wow
that’s
kind
of
That’s
beautiful
Can
that
be
true?
MANAGER
emerges
from
the
house
swinging
a
baseball
bat.
MANAGER
53
Get
out
of
here!
Get
away
from
my
family!
Get
off
my
lawn!
LANDLORDE
and
STRANGER
run
off
opposite
directions.
WAITER
shouts
from
within
the
house
–
WAITER
I
keep
telling
you
we
should
buy
a
gun
5.
Birds
chirping.
Noon.
GIL
and
JEN
in
a
meadow.
GIL
has
a
watering
can
and
waters
flowers.
JEN
eats
a
take
out
salad
ferociously
with
a
plastic
fork.
JEN
is
no
longer
dressed
like
an
office
worker
but
is
now
dressed,
in
some
warped
way,
like
an
“activist.”
GIL
Second
date
JEN
I
only
have
five
minutes
GIL
You
know
you
have
really
lovely
bone
structure.
Facially.
And
no
acne.
JEN
Ok
GIL
I
love
how
organized
you
are.
I
associate
organization
directly
with
happiness
Not
to
mention
power
JEN
Me
too
GIL
I
love
that
you
design
skyscrapers
at
age
26.
I
love
your
intense
eye
contact
and
speech
patterns.
JEN
Yay
54
GIL
And
the
way
that
they,
and
you,
everything
about
you
really,
promises
success.
JEN
Gil
GIL
I’m
really
impressed
and
turned
on
by
the
way
you’ve
positioned
yourself
vis-‐à-‐vis
opportunity.
Jen
JEN
Gil
GIL
Jen!
I
love
the
way
you
throw
your
iPhone
around
casually
as
if
you
don’t
care
if
it
breaks,
because
if
it
breaks
you’ll
just
buy
a
new
phone
anyway,
so
in
fact
you
kind
of
want
it
to
break.
JEN
Do
I?
GIL
Somehow
that
recklessness…
makes
me
feel
safe.
JEN
Weird
GIL
What
I’m
trying
to
say
is:
Jen:
JEN
Gil
GIL
We
could
be
long
term
compatible
together.
JEN
Can
I
get
a
fucking
word
in?
Beat
GIL
Yes
sorry
of
course
JEN
Let
me
talk
for
once
55
GIL
Sorry
Beat
JEN
I
guess
I
don’t
have
anything
pressing
to
say
I
just
you’re
just
You’re
talking
a
lot
GIL
Saying
nice
things
I
hope
JEN
It’s
important
for
us
to
have
equal
talking
time
GIL
I’m
very
interested
in
anything
you
have
to
say
JEN
You
don’t
get
to
talk
more
than
me
GIL
Sorry
yes
I
mean
no
I
don’t
sorry
JEN
It’s
good
you
apologized
because
it’s
fucked
up
how
much
women
have
to
apologize
GIL
I
love
apologizing
I
feel
good
when
I
apologize
JEN
That’s
not
totally
healthy
seeming
GIL
I
really
appreciate
you
spending
your
lunch
break
with
me
Small
clusters
of
squirrels
and
bunnies
frolic
peacefully
across
the
stage.
JEN
Gil,
Everything
I
have
–my
phone
and
my
job
–
all
the
reasons
you
like
me–
do
you
know
the
word
problematic?
GIL
56
I
know
the
word
problem
JEN
Everything
I
feel
grateful
for
is
something
that
I
could
instead
feel
guilty
about
GIL
Oh
no
JEN
I’m
trying
to
say
that
my
parents
bought
me
my
iPhone.
That
you
like
that
I
throw
around.
And
they
got
me
my
job
basically.
Paid
for
years
of
dermatology.
Face
wash.
GIL
Ok
and
you
feel
guilty
JEN
So
it’s
almost
like
you
don’t
love
me
you
love
them
GIL
But
you
don’t
need
to
feel
guilty
because
listen:
JEN
The
sums
of
money
that
have
gone
into
face
wash
for
me
since
birth
are
significant
GIL
Even
though
it
seems
unfair
and
random
to
you
that
you
were
born
so
wonderful
and
lucky,
right,
JEN
Maybe
GIL
because
you
could
have
been
born
anywhere,
like
in
a
shack
in
a
war
desert,
JEN
Maybe
GIL
and
you
didn’t
choose,
pre-‐birth
you’re
body
or
your
brain
or
your
family
JEN
Pre-‐birth
as
in
pre-‐labor
or
pre-‐conception?
57
GIL
Listen
that
stuff
doesn’t
feel
random
–
Your
birth
circumstances
don’t
feel
random
–
to
your
parents.
JEN
Have
you
met
my
parents?
GIL
Someday
we’ll
have
children
and
we’ll
understand.
JEN
I’m
an
activist.
Beat
GIL
Hot
Beat
JEN
No
I
mean
I’m
trying
to
become
an
activist
I
want
to
be
an
activist
but
I
don’t
know
how.
GIL
That’s
really
sexy.
Beat
JEN
No
listen
it’s
not
sexy
nothing
about
it
is
“sexy.”
It’s
actually
kind
of
ugly
and
involved
GIL
We’re
gonna
figure
this
out
together
JEN
I
think
that
shopping
is
bad.
The
cultural
fabric
is
in
trouble.
This
town
has
big
problems.
GIL
That’s
so
attractive!
I
feel
so
attracted
to
you
when
you
say
that!
JEN
Gil
It’s
important
it’s
not
all
black
leather
58
GIL
What
happened
to
the
upwardly
mobile
young
office
lady?
JEN
I’m
like
an
office
worker
activist.
Thought
leader.
Multiple
projects!
Interdisciplinary.
GIL
Cool
wow
A
baby
deer
enters
and
nuzzles
Jen’s
cheek
Jen
feeds
the
baby
deer
chestnuts
JEN
Are
you
interested
in
activism?
In
becoming
an
activist?
GIL
puts
away
his
watering
can
and
starts
flying
a
kite.
GIL
Well
I
hated
that
weird
waiter
JEN
Ok
GIL
Really
what
I
want
is
to
find
someone
who
I
can
support
and
be
with
through
thick
and
thin
JEN
So
but
you
personally
don’t
do
anything
for
the
world
You’re
not
meaningfully
engaged
GIL
I’m
good
with
children
JEN
Ok
but
you
don’t
make
enough
money
to
support
them
GIL
I’m
so
happy
that
you’re
talking
about
our
children
JEN
I’m
not
it’s
hypothetical
GIL
59
I
like
the
name
Jen
Junior
JEN
Lots
of
people
don’t
or
can’t
have
children
-‐
did
you
know
that?
Sometimes
I
feel
unsure
how
much
you
know
vs
don’t
know
about
the
world
GIL
Listen
part
of
feminism
has
to
be
high
power
women
becoming
attracted
to
sensitive
caregiving
men.
That’s
how
I’m
helping.
I’m
a
new
masculinity.
JEN
You
don’t
get
to
control
who
other
people
are
attracted
to.
Look
how
cute
this
baby
deer
is
GIL
I
just
really
like
feminism
and
think
it’s
cool
JEN
Are
you
looking
at
this
deer?
GIL
Would
I
were
that
deer
That
you
might
feed
me
a
chestnut
Offended,
the
deer
exits.
JEN
Gil
one
day
when
you
spend
all
day
vacuuming
white
carpets
drinking
chardonnay
while
your
wife
works
on
Wall
Street
you
are
going
to
feel
miserable
Because
it
will
be
pointless
GIL
That’s
never
going
to
happen!
That
is
my
lovely
fantasy
but
it’s
never
going
to
happen
JEN
Because
what
are
you
actually
going
to
do?
While
someone
like
me
works
and
gets
paid
and
helps
other
people?
Nothing?
Are
you
going
to
do
nothing?
Everything
slows
down
GIL
Jen
You’re
going
to
get
home
from
work
I’m
going
to
say
hi
honey
here’s
your
chilled
chardonnay
Here
are
your
vacuumed
carpets
60
You’re
going
to
say
thank
you
dearest
And
then
–
and
then
-‐
I
am
going
to
lie
you
gently
on
your
back
And
smile
And
hum
gently
as
I
give
your
inner
thighs
big
wet
kisses
Warm
kisses
While
humming
And
slowly
rub
my
nose
up
and
down
your
inner
thighs
While
glancing
up
from
time
to
time
to
make
eye
contact
Until
I
tenderly
lick
your
vagina
And
accept
your
clitoris
into
my
warm
mouth
Gingerly,
with
joy
Using
my
teeth
a
little
bit
to
show
how
wild
my
desire
is
But
also
safe
and
firm
and
consistent
And
if
you
let
me
I
want
to
do
that
every
night
Have
positive
and
generous
oral
sex
every
single
night
For
eighteen
years
as
our
children
grow
up
In
a
house
with
an
upstairs
and
a
downstairs,
cereal
in
the
cupboard,
two
percent
milk,
vacuum
cleaners,
dentists
appointments,
college
tuition,
photographs
on
the
fridge.
Pause.
They
want
this
very
much
But
it’s
distant
and
confusing.
They
are
both
crying
a
little.
JEN
Wow
uhhhh
I
mean,
thank
you.
For
trying
to
be
sweet.
It’s
just.
Total
bullshit
to
even.
Want
those
kind
of
things
and
Fuck
everything
you
just
said.
Like
fuck
you.
I
don’t
appreciate
you
talking
about
my
body
that
way.
Disgusting.
Have
you
ever
heard
of
communal
living?
Are
you
crying?
GIL
You’re
crying
JEN
I’m
not
crying
GIL
Ok
sorry
JEN
61
You
are
crying
GIL
I
haven’t
cried
in
years
I’m
not
crying
now.
Are
you
crying?
JEN
No
neither
of
us.
Seems
to
be
crying.
GIL
Good
JEN
Good
because
I
don’t
know
what
on
earth
GIL
Yeah
JEN
Would
make
you
cry
in
this
situation
GIL
Yeah
I
don’t
know
JEN
Like
you
don’t
even
know
what
a
clitoris
is.
GIL
Definitely
not.
Long
pause.
Maybe
the
first.
They
are
both
crying
in
small
ways.
GIL
Hi
Jen
JEN
I
sometimes
feel
like
romance
is
pointless
because…
all
my
goals
are
professional
and…
romance
falls
outside
of
that,
like…
romance
falls
outside
my
mission
statement
so…
why
would
I
even
pursue
that
when…
it’s
not
like
helping
me
get
ahead…
or
helping
the
world.
I’ve
never
said
that
aloud
to
anyone
before!
I’ve
just
thought
about
it
a
lot
privately
GIL
62
Thank
you
They
smile
at
each
other
Are
they
going
to
kiss?
JEN
My
lunch
break
is
over
I
have
to
go
back
to
the
office
GIL
Oh
ok
JEN
I’m
going
to
an
activist
meeting
tonight
where
I
might
get
hurt
GIL
Have
a
great
time!
JEN
is
gone.
GIL,
alone,
sings
a
song.
It
may
be
fabulously
rehearsed
or
he
may
be
making
it
up
(badly)
on
the
spot
It
would
be
best
if
it
somehow
has
qualities
of
both
or
we
can’t
tell
which
GIL
Sometimes
in
the
shower
I
run
the
warm
water
Against
the
tile
wall
And
then
practice
Making
out
with
The
warm
wet
tile
wall
It
feels
almost
like
a
mouth
I
went
to
a
Kindergarten
With
a
twelve
per-‐
Cent
acceptance
Rate
Then
I
went
on
a
date.
I
wanna
be
A
stay
at
home
dad
But
that’s
not
a
job
that
You
can
just
apply
for
I
have
to
keep
trying
I
guess
To
woo
Jen
63
Or
confront
the
Increasingly
real
Possibility
I’m
just
not
trophy
Enough
to
be
A
trophy
husband
My
dream
job
Blah
blah
blah
But
I
have
to
believe
That
I
can
Become
A
kept
man
If
I
try
Hard
enough
An
architect
Could
protect
Me
Wheee!
And
I
could
provide
an
array
of
nurturing
domestic
services
in
return
Am
I
really
creepy
And
leech
like
Or
progressive
And
impressively
Submissive
Or
manipulative?
Or
woman-‐ipulative?
I
can’t
tell
Very
well
A
circle
of
bluebirds
enter
and
flutter
around
Gil’s
head.
Sadly?
They
harmonize
with
him:
Sometimes
in
the
shower
I
run
the
warm
water
Against
the
tile
wall
And
then
practice
Making
out
with
The
warm
wet
tile
wall
It
feels
almost
like
a
mouth
I
went
to
a
Kindergarten
With
a
twelve
per-‐
Cent
acceptance
64
Rate
(RaaaAaaAaate!)
Then
I
went
on
a
date
6.
JEN
is
on
her
way
to
the
activist
meeting.
On
a
skateboard,
or
snowshoes.
Trudging
through
broken
glass.
Wandering
in
a
misty
forest.
Swinging
on
vines
over
quicksand,
spelunking.
Crawling
through
a
tiny
crevice.
Belaying
down
walls.
Touching
every
brick
in
a
gritty
parking
lot
looking
for
a
hidden
passage.
She
can
pantomime
these
things
goofily
or
do
them,
actually,
in
a
video.
This
monologue
might
be
a
voice
over
that
plays
while
this
movement
sequence
happens.
Or
very
possibly
Jen
just
stands
still
and
speaks
to
us
–
she
wears
a
jumpsuit
and
an
animal
mask
pushed
up
so
we
can
still
see
her
face.
JEN
I
am
on
my
way
to
the
activist
meeting
I’m
terrified
I
don’t
know
what
it’s
going
to
be
like.
Is
it
a
protest?
Or
a
riot?
Or
a
march?
Or
a
demonstration?
Or
a
vigil?
A
candlelit
vigil?
Or
is
it
a
discussion
group?
A
book
club?
A
prayer
circle?
An
intervention?
An
admin
meeting?
Like
a
classroom?
Or
is
it
more
of
a
revolution-‐
type
thing?
Is
it
violent?
An
uprising?
Or
maybe
we’re
just
canvassing
for
local
politicians?
What
is
it?
I’m
afraid
of
getting
pushed
by
a
police
officer.
I’m
too
tired
to
chant
I
have
to
work
in
the
morning.
I
like
drinking
wine
and
going
to
bed
early
which
I
am
not
doing
tonight.
My
friend
was
like
I’m
going
to
the
movies
I
was
like
I’m
going
protesting!
My
other
friend
was
like
I’m
going
out
dancing
I
was
like
I’m
going
out
protesting!
Just
another
fun
activity!
Shopping,
drinking,
running,
yoga,
protesting.
Dancing,
eating,
gym,
beach,
TV,
cars,
protesting.
I’m
terrified
yup
yup
yup
yup
yes
terrified.
I
don’t
know
how
to
protest.
I’m
a
tourist.
I’m
a
poser.
I
haven’t
read
enough
to
speak
intelligently.
I
don’t
have
any
concrete
policy
proposals.
I
have
never
suffered
in
my
life.
I
don’t
have
any
specific
grievances.
My
voice
doesn’t
matter.
My
voice
is
random
and
not
informed.
My
voice
does
not
deserve
to
be
heard.
I
also
don’t
really
believe
it’s
possible
to
effect
change.
Like
is
this
activist
group
really
even
going
to
effect
change?
Lots
of
people
choose
not
to
pursue
activism,
I
notice.
Lots
of
people
choose
not
to
pursue
activism,
I
notice.
What
if
I
know
someone
there
and
that’s
awkward.
What
if
I
don’t
know
anyone
there
and
that’s
awkward.
Is
it
fucked
up
that
I’m
more
concerned
about
the
social
element,
about
if
I’m
going
to
feel
awkward
or
not,
than
about
JUSTICE?
I’m
especially
confused
about
the
moment
of
starting
protesting.
Like
how
do
you
START?
What
if
everyone
is
chanting
and
no
one
says
hi
to
me.
What
if
everyone
is
in
deep
conversation
and
I
can’t
follow
it
and
no
one
says
hi
to
me.
What
if
no
one
else
is
there
and
it’s
just
me
and
I
have
to
make
up
the
whole
protest
by
myself?
Can
one
protest
by
oneself?
Or
maybe
I
can
just
watch
what’s
going
on
for
a
while
and
then
decide
if
I
want
to
join
in
or
not
based
on
how
dangerous
it
seems
and
how
fun
it
looks.
And
decide
on
my
own
terms
if
I
want
to
participate
and
how.
What
is
the
65
bare
minimum
you
have
to
do
to
protest?
I
want
to
do
that.
No
I
don’t.
I
GUESS
I’M
WONDERING
IF
I
SHOULD
TURN
AROUND?
I’m
twenty
six
years
old.
I
have
never
protested
in
my
life.
I
also
never
vote.
I
have
a
degree
from
a
top
college.
I
can
name
maybe
five
out
of
one
hundred
senators.
I
never
participate
politically
at
all
in
any
way.
But
it’s
ok
because
I
know
that
deep
down,
in
my
heart
of
hearts,
I
am
still
a
deeply
good
person
who
is
good
no
matter
what.
Ok
to
be
successful
at
this
meeting
I
have
to
remember
to:
speak
early,
listen,
be
open,
be
flexible,
sit
at
the
table,
my
stocks
are
high,
lean
in,
be
prepared,
take
notes,
think
positive,
think
on
my
feet,
relax,
respond,
breath,
have
fun,
and
stay
focused,
and
stay
safe.
Best
case
scenario:
I
get
photographed
as
I
personally
make
the
world
better
and
do
something
meaningful
to
help
other
people.
Worst
case
scenario:
I
get
arrested
and
get
brutalized
and
die
in
my
ambulance
on
the
way
to
my
prison
cell
while
people
laugh
at
me
because
I
don’t
know
economics.
Middle
case
scenario:
it’s
boring
but
fine,
it’s
fine,
no
one
talks
to
me,
I’m
on
my
phone
the
whole
time,
and
it’s
chilly
because
I
forgot
a
sweater.
7.
Curtain
rises
on:
THE
TOWN
ACTIVISTS
assembled
in
the
Second
Cave
of
Bone.
They
wear
animal
masks
and
jumpsuits.
The
activists
have
names,
and
they
are:
VAGUELLY
THE
LEADER,
DREAMBOAT
IDEOLOGUE,
GIRL
BOY
GIRL,
WE
CAN
DO
IT
Y’ALL,
and
NEIGHBORLY.
They
work
enthusiastically,
in
flurries,
a
hive,
buzzing.
Some
write
slogans
on
scraps
of
paper
to
tie
to
bricks
to
throw
through
windows.
Others
organize
bookshelves
and
first
aid
kits.
Some
fold
tarps.
Some
paint
signs
that
read:
“there
is
no
deadline
for
our
victory,”
“pain
is
not
a
punishment
pleasure
is
not
a
reward,”
“success
is
bad,”
“having
sex
is
middle
class,”
and
“the
fish
in
the
lake
are
dying.”
There
is
a
Box
O’
Joe
and
a
whole
little
coffee-‐fixing
area.
Mid
conversation-‐
GIRL
BOY
GIRL
I
think
if
we
all
share
links
to
theory
on
social
media
–
VAGUELLY
THE
LEADER
What
is
theory
what
kind
of
theory
GIRL
BOY
GIRL
Feminist
theory
or
you
know
political
social
theory
66
WE
CAN
DO
IT
Y’ALL
I
don’t
read
that
stuff
it’s
not
easy
or
fun
to
read
DREAMBOAT
IDEOLOGUE
It
makes
people
feel
like
they
can’t
be
activists
because
they’re
too
stupid
when
real
activism
comes
from
the
heart
GIRL
BOY
GIRL
I
thought
elevating
public
discourse
was
one
of
our
major
goals
VAGUELLY
THE
LEADER
No
our
major
goals
are
measurable
and
action-‐oriented
GIRL
BOY
GIRL
I’m
trying
to
shift
away
from
that
kind
of
results-‐based,
win-‐at-‐all
costs
mentality
WE
CAN
DO
IT
Y’ALL
Can
I
read
an
essay
I
wrote
aloud
to
the
group?
VAGUELLY
THE
LEADER
Or
why
don’t
we
start
by
naming
problems
we
have
with
our
society,
no
need
to
raise
your
hand
DREAMBOAT
IDEOLOGUE
Problems
with
our
society
or
with
our
culture?
WE
CAN
DO
IT
Y’ALL
Is
society
like
Socrates?
NEIGHBORLY
Do
you
want
diagnoses
of
how
things
are
or
suggestions
for
how
things
could
be
better?
VAGUELLY
THE
LEADER
All
of
it
pell
mell
DREAMBOAT
IDEOLOGUE
Property
is
random
and
fake
GIRL
BOY
GIRL
Money
is
totally
made
up
and
violent
WE
CAN
DO
IT
Y’ALL
Language
and
families
are
both
problem
structures
that
need
to
be
dismantled
VAGUELLY
THE
LEADER
67
I
guess
I’m
wondering
if
maybe
we
can
all
challenge
ourselves
to
be
more
articulate?
NEIGHBORLY
The
town
lake
is
owned
by
dunkin
donuts
Donkin
donuts
is
owned
by
the
middle
school
The
middle
school
is
a
conglomerate
with
a
generic
pharmaceutical
chain
This
same
pharmacy
franchise
controls
the
town
radio
stations
And,
by
extension,
the
hearts
and
minds
of
town
parents
VAGUELLY
THE
LEADER
Right
so
the
direct
consequences
of
that
on
the
ground
are?
I’m
just
trying
to
keep
things
human
here
GIRL
BOY
GIRL
The
fish
in
the
lake
are
dying
VAGUELLY
THE
LEADER
Great
anything
else
GIRL
BOY
GIRL
People
need
to
cut
their
six
pack
rings
with
scissors
when
they
throw
them
away
or
fish
suffocate
in
beer
six
pack
rings
DREAMBOAT
IDEOLOGUE
Please
that
was
a
hot
talking
point
in
1995
I
daresay
we’ve
moved
beyond
beer
fish
WE
CAN
DO
IT
Y’ALL
I
just
personally
know
that
I’m
always
drunk
when
I’m
throwing
away
six
pack
rings
Because
if
I’m
throwing
them
away
that
means
I
drank
the
six
pack
So
I
don’t
know
if
it’s
a
good
idea
for
me
to
be
using
scissors
in
that
state
Pause.
DREAMBOAT
IDEOLOGUE
Here’s
one:
why
do
people
keep
having
children?
It’s
bad
for
the
environment
to
have
children,
plus
children
are
out
of
control
GIRL
BOY
GIRL
Imagine
your
Mom,
who
loves
you
and
worked
hard
for
you,
hearing
you
say
that
DREAMBOAT
IDEOLOGUE
I
think
my
Mom
is
here
with
us
tonight
but
I’ll
never
know
for
sure
Thanks
to
these
ingenious
masks
NEIGHBORLY
People
are
so
mean
to
each
other!
68
VAGUELLY
THE
LEADER
Could
you
elaborate
NEIGHBORLY
Everyone
wants
to
live
pointless
life
narratives
and
no
one
ever
wants
to
do
anything
cool
with
their
lives
WE
CAN
DO
IT
Y’ALL
When
I
was
younger
I
used
to
think
I
would
eventually
grow
up
and
stop
caring
about
being
cool
But
I’m
basically
grown
up
now
and
I
still
care
a
lot
about
being
cool
GIRL
BOY
GIRL
Cool
is
really
expensive
DREAMBOAT
IDEOLOGUE
I
wonder
if
being
cool
can
be
a
form
of
activism?
Aesthetic
activism?
VAGUELLY
THE
LEADER
What
do
you
mean
when
you
say
“everyone
wants
to
live
pointless
life
narratives
and
no
one
ever
wants
to
do
anything
cool
with
their
lives?”
NEIGHBORLY
Everyone’s
like
“look
at
me!
I
did
this
and
then
I
did
this
other
thing
and
now
I’m
doing
this
third
great
thing!”
Christmas
card
DREAMBOAT
IDEOLOGUE
Fun
NEIGHBORLY
No
not
fun
bad
DREAMBOAT
IDEOLOGUE
Why
bad
NEIGHBORLY
Bad
because
like
blinders
on,
total
obliviousness,
me
me
me,
stop
to
smell
the
flowers
VAGUELLY
THE
LEADER
I
don’t
think
this
is
really
at
the
level
of
structural
dysfunction
we’re
aiming
to
address
WE
CAN
DO
IT
Y’ALL
69
People
are
entitled
and
don’t
even
realize
it
GIRL
BOY
GIRL
Which
is
scary
because
it
means
I
could
be
entitled
and
not
realize
it
NEIGHBORLY
People
are
like
‘get
out
of
my
way
I
want
to
buy
a
coffee’
When
being
nice
will
make
you
happier
than
buying
coffee
will
ALL
People
are
like
‘get
out
of
my
way
I
want
to
buy
a
coffee’
When
being
nice
will
make
you
happier
than
buying
coffee
will
A
little
pause
goes
either
here
WE
CAN
DO
IT
Y’ALL
I
actually
do
really
like
buying
coffee
though
and
sometimes
being
nice
is
legitimately
taxing
Or
here
NEIGHBORLY
The
local
government
is
all
run
by
that
horrible
landlorde!
DREAMBOAT
IDEOLOGUE
Yes!
VAGUELLY
THE
LEADER
He
controls
everything
and
he’s
really
selfish
GIRL
BOY
GIRL
It’s
because
he
owns
Coca
Cola
Corporation
WE
CAN
DO
IT
Y’ALL
He
controls
an
army
of
drones
DREAMBOAT
IDEOLOGUE
And
the
worst
part
is
he
donates
lots
of
money
to
local
arts
organizations
so
they
only
program
things
that
he
likes
plus
they
have
to
name
their
facilities
after
him
WE
CAN
DO
IT
Y’ALL
The
most
suspicious
thing
about
Landlorde
is
that
he
spells
his
name
with
an
extra
E
at
the
end,
he
spells
landlord
L-‐A-‐N-‐D-‐L-‐O-‐R-‐D-‐E.
Like
a
baroque
flourish
VAGUELLY
THE
LEADER
70
Ok
but
Landlord
is
just
one
person
and
town
problems
are
systemic,
so
can
we
please
refocus
NEIGHBORLY
Ok
here’s
one:
Every
time
you
buy
something,
someone
suffers
GIRL
BOY
GIRL
Ok
unpack
that?
NEIGHBORLY
Ok
every
time
you
make
a
purchase,
something
bad
happens
somewhere
else
to
someone
else
GIRL
BOY
GIRL
Ok
what
kind
of
bad
things?
WE
CAN
DO
IT
Y’ALL
Ok
so
is
the
answer
to
buy
nothing?
DREAMBOAT
IDEOLOGUE
Or
starve?
GIRL
BOY
GIRL
Your
dollars
are
votes.
NEIGHBORLY
Yeah
your
vote-‐votes,
like
your
ballot
votes,
don’t
even
count
as
votes!
But
your
dollars,
your
dollar-‐votes,
those
are
your
real
votes.
Your
dollars.
WE
CAN
DO
IT
Y’ALL
I’m
sad
about
several
things
I’m
really
sad
VAGUELLY
THE
LEADER
When
I’m
sad
I
can
either
blame
myself
or
blame
the
world,
and
I
prefer
to
blame
the
world,
so
here
I
am,
trying
to
fix
the
world,
instead
of
trying
to
fix
myself.
GIRL
BOY
GIRL
They
should
teach
you
how
to
pay
taxes
in
high
school.
My
high
school
taught
me
how
to
lift
weights
but
not
how
to
pay
taxes.
NEIGHBORLY
It’s
almost
like
they
want
you
to
pay
your
taxes
wrong
WE
CAN
DO
IT
Y’ALL
I
can’t
even
keep
track
I
just
do
what
I’m
told
71
NEIGHBORLY
I
did
what
I
was
told
my
whole
life,
and
that
felt
bad,
so
I
finally
decided
to
try
doing
my
own
thing,
but
by
that
time
it
was
too
late,
I
don’t
know
how
to
do
my
own
thing.
GIRL
BOY
GIRL
Do
you
ever
dream
of
getting
away
from
it
all
and
going
to
a
totally
different
world?
Where
everything
is
zany
Logic
is
different
Fun
stuff
happens
Colorful
characters
are
unpredictable
Trees
are
candy
And
like
it’s
just
a
whole
other
world
that
you
randomly
stumble
upon
through
some
magic
portal?
WE
CAN
DO
IT
Y’ALL
This
morning
I
tried
to
buy
fresh
vegetables
at
the
store
but
the
store
didn’t
have
any
fresh
vegetables
So
I
bought
candy
instead
because
it
was
cheap
But
then
I
noticed
that
beer
is
cheaper
than
candy
So
I
bought
a
lot
beer
Now
I’m
drunk
but
I
have
enough
calories.
And
I
have
cash.
VAGUELLY
THE
LEADER
Well
one
thing’s
for
sure
-‐
we
need
to
imagine
a
new
way
of
being
NEIGHBORLY
I
agree
–
our
present
inequality
is
a
logistical
failure,
obviously,
but
it’s
also
a
failure
of
the
imagination
DREAMBOAT
IDEOLOGUE
I
spent
all
day
trying
to
imagine
new
ways
of
being
and
I
couldn’t
think
of
anything
A
little
pause
happens
either
here
ALL
I
spent
all
day
trying
to
imagine
new
ways
of
being
and
I
couldn’t
think
of
anything
Or
here.
GIRL
BOY
GIRL
Hey
has
anyone
else
noticed
that
there’s
a
stranger
in
town
with
a
bulldozer?
WE
CAN
DO
IT
Y’ALL
Oh
yeah
that
mysterious
stranger
in
town
DREAMBOAT
IDEOLOGUE
72
Does
he
have
a
bulldozer
permit?
NEIGHBORLY
I
haven’t
seen
his
permit
GIRL
BOY
GIRL
No
permit
that’s
scary
At
this
moment,
Jen
enters.
Through
a
secret
passageway:
I
think
a
fern
cluster
upstage
swings
mechanically
aside,
or
a
bookshelf
swivels
classically,
gothicly
around,
or
what
appeared
to
be
a
pile
of
boulders
crumbles
with
suspicious
elegance
to
reveal
a
tunnel
in
which
Jen
stands
/
from
which
Jen
emerges.
She
is
in
her
animal
mask
and
jumpsuit.
She
behaves
as
if
on
a
job
interview
-‐
JEN
Hello
hi
I’m
here
for
the
activists?
Are
you
the
activists?
I
don’t
have
an
appointment
Incredulous
stares
as
everyone
takes
her
in:
Who
is
this
person?
JEN
Hi
let’s
start
over
hello
I
have
an
interest
activism
which
I’d
like
to
pursue
I’m
here
to
cultivate
my
interest
in
activism?
So
I’d
like
to
find
out
more
about
your
activism
program
and
maybe
sign
up
But
like
I
said
I
don’t
have
an
appointment
so
GIRL
BOY
GIRL
Appointment?
WE
CAN
DO
IT
Y’ALL
Sign
up?
JEN
Do
you
have
sign
ups?
DREAMBOAT
IDEOLOGUE
We
have
signs
JEN
Ok
do
I
maybe
have
the
wrong
address?
Is
this
the
second
cave
of
bone?
I
followed
the
breadcrumb
path
to
the
indoor
upstairs
forest,
talked
to
a
rabbit
on
a
cell
phone,
VAGUELLY
THE
LEADER
The
second
cave
of
bone
has
no
address.
73
JEN
So
but
you
guys
are
activists
right?
You
guys
are
like,
The
Town
Activists,
right?
Right?
ALL
ACTIVISTS
IN
UNISON
Right.
We
admit
we
are
the
town
activists.
The
town
ACTIVISTS!
Dreaded,
mysterious,
articulate,
thoughtful,
incisive,
dynamic,
ancient.
JEN
I’d
like
to
apply
for
membership.
I
forgot
a
pen
so
if
you
have
one
I
can
borrow
that’d
be
great,
as
I
fill
out
whatever
paperwork
-‐
VAGUELLY
THE
LDEAR
There
is
no
paperwork
JEN
But
don’t
you
want
like
my
name
and
screename
VAGUELLY
THE
LEADER
You
must
leave
those
things
behind
JEN
What
things,
behind
what
ALL
ACTIVISTS
Your
name
Your
screen
name
You
must
leave
those
things
behind
you
now
JEN
Ohhhhh
cool
Gotcha
Wink
wink
This
is
cool
ALL
ACTIVISTS
That’s
right.
Wink
wink.
This
is
cool.
JEN
Like
journey
Like
new
identity
like
no
identity
ALL
ACTIVISTS
Exactly
like
that
74
Small-‐
JEN
I’m
not
sure
if
I’m
really
totally
ready
for
that
actually
Beat.
GIRL
BOY
GIRL
Allow
me
to
introduce
everyone.
This
is
Dreamboat
Ideologue,
that’s
Neighborly,
this
is
We
Can
Do
It
Y’all,
I
go
by
Girl
Boy
Girl,
and
this
here
is
Vaguely
The
Leader.
Hi
JEN
I
brought
my
resume!
Two
copies
Which
is
just
it
demonstrates
that
I’m
smart
and
hardworking
and
NEIGHBORLY
We
hate
resumes
JEN
Do
you
hate
resumes?
Maybe
you
hate
resumes
NEIGHBORLY
Resumes
are
classist
JEN
You
know
I
think
maybe
I
have
always
secretly
suspected
that
but
have
never
found
the
language
for
it
until
now,
right
now,
so,
so
thank
you.
Thank
you
for
that.
DREAMBOAT
IDEOLOGUE
Resumes
are
classist,
though
JEN
Ok
A
pause.
Vaguely
hostile.
JEN
So,
moving
forward-‐
VAGUELLY
THE
LEADER
What
do
you
want,
strange
newcomer?
JEN
I
want
to
be
an
activist
but
I
don’t
know
how
75
DREAMBOAT
IDEOLOGUE
You
will
never
know
how
NEIGHBORLY
No
one
on
planet
earth
knows
how
GIRL
BOY
GIRL
I’m
a
vegetarian
JEN
Ok
but
so
then
what
do
you
guys
do
all
day?
You
must
do
something
WE
CAN
DO
IT
Y’ALL
Don’t
say
guys
say
y’all
it’s
gender
neutral
DREAMBOAT
IDEOLOGUE
We
spend
a
lot
of
time
breaking
into
middle
class
homes
and
not
stealing
anything
but
just
re-‐arranging
all
the
furniture
inside
JEN
I
can’t
tell
if
you’re
joking
or
not
GIRL
BOY
GIRL
We
tried
rich
people’s
homes
but
they’re
too
well
defended
WE
CAN
DO
IT
Y’ALL
Did
you
only
come
here
because
it
looks
good
on
college
applications?
I
feel
like
you
only
came
here
because
it
looks
good
on
college
applications
JEN
I’m
26
I
already
went
to
college
WE
CAN
DO
IT
Y’ALL
People
like
you
are
always
applying
to
college
You’re
going
to
spend
your
whole
life
applying
to
college
JEN
Maybe
I
actually
uh
hate
being
here
And
should
leave
right
now
The
activists
suddenly
assemble
into
Test
Formation.
ALL
ACTIVISTS
To
join
our
group
you
need
to
pass
the
test
JEN
76
Tests
ok
I’m
good
at
tests.
Is
it
standardized?
NEIGHBORLY
Oh
my
god
I
remember
when
I
took
the
test
for
the
first
time
I
failed
Wow
that
was
scary
Thank
god
I
passed
the
second
time
GIRL
BOY
GIRL
Don’t
say
thank
god
say
thank
goodness
JEN
Why
was
it
scary
what
happens
if
you
fail?
The
activists
do
something
like
a
drum
roll?
Can
that
feel
new
and
powerful?
ALL
ACTIVISTS
The
test
is:
In
500
words
or
less
Please
describe
your
interest
in
activism.
JEN
That’s
the
test
are
you
kidding?
Is
this
like
a
grant
application?
ALL
ACTIVISTS
IN
UNISON
This
is
nothing
like
a
grant
application,
you
lunatic.
We
don’t
give
a
fuck
about
grant
applications
JEN
Sure
so
the
other
day
I
embarrassed
myself
in
a
restaurant
I
treated
the
wait
staff
badly.
DREAMBOAT
IDEOLOGUE
Wow
you
did
that?
WE
CAN
DO
IT
Y’ALL
That’s
so
nasty
GIRL
BOY
GIRL
I
can’t
believe
you
did
that
JEN
Yes
I
was
pointlessly
a
little
bit
rude
to
someone
with
less
power
than
me.
And
I
have
not
um
Felt
ok
about
myself
since
then
VAGUELLY
THE
LEADER
77
Is
it
ok
to
feel
ok
about
yourself?
DREAMBOAT
IDEOLOGUE
I
try
to
feel
as
bad
about
myself
as
possible,
because
it’s
productive
GIRL
BOY
GIRL
I,
on
the
other
hand,
like
feeling
good
about
myself,
and
try
to
shine
like
a
positive
lighthouse
to
set
an
example
for
others
to
follow
JEN
Also
I’m
dating
a
boy
who
says
ignorant
things
Because
he’s
a
boy
basically
So
how
can
I
help
him?
What
if
you’re
all
boys
under
your
masks
VAGUELLY
THE
LEADER
We’re
all
octogenarian
women
GIRL
BOY
GIRL
That’s
why
we’re
smart
JEN
It
just
seems
like
“Activist”
is
the
best
/
thing
a
person
can
be.
Right?
WE
CAN
DO
IT
Y’ALL
If
you
say
the
word
activist
one
more
time
I’ll
go
crazy
JEN
But
you
can’t
study
activism
in
school,
there
are
no
activism
jobs,
there
is
no
path
GIRL
BOY
GIRL
I
know
isn’t
it
beautiful?
JEN
What
am
I
supposed
to
do?
VAGUELLY
THE
LEADER
Maybe
you’re
not
supposed
to
do
anything
WE
CAN
DO
IT
Y’ALL
What
do
you
want
to
do?
DREAMBOAT
IDEOLOGUE
Or
maybe
you
need
to
completely
change
everything
about
yourself.
JEN
78
Listen
people
are
suffering,
I
want
to
help,
sincerely
I
want
to
help,
but
I
don’t
know
how,
I
randomly
have
icky
privilege
but
I
am
seemingly
incapable
of
utilizing
it
for
the
greater
good,
what
is
the
greater
good,
am
I
thinking
about
this
wrong?
People
are
suffering,
somewhere,
I
think,
meanwhile
I’m
eating
at
restaurants,
I’m
cosmically
guilty
in
ways
I
don’t
even
understand,
I
don’t
want
to
spend
the
rest
of
my
life
eating
at
restaurants,
what
can
I
do,
help
me
help,
tell
me
what
to
do
please
A
long
pause.
Embarrassingly
long.
This
is
the
play.
DREAMBOAT
IDEOLOGUE
So
–
let
me
get
this
straight.
You
came
here,
basically,
To
tell
us
that
you
feel
guilty?
JEN
(Simultaneous,
deadly
quiet-‐
Um,
I
guess,
that
would
appear
to
be
correct,
yes.
ignored
by
everyone-‐)
DREAMBOAT
IDEOLOGUE
NEIGHBORLY
It
seems
like
you’re
more
concerned
The
government
with
your
own
guilt
than
anything
else
Murdered
My
family
JEN
That
is
certainly
possible
DREAMBOAT
IDEOLOGUE
Well,
I
have
a
newsflash
for
you,
newcomer:
Police
officers
Your
guilt
is
boring.
Two
cops
JEN
I
know,
I
know
Shot
and
killed
WE
CAN
DO
IT
Y’ALL
My
son.
It’s
very
boring
and
irrelevant
that
you
feel
“guilty”
And
my
daughter.
JEN
Right
ok
right.
I’m
taking
notes.
While
I
watched.
VAGEULLY
THE
LEADER
I
think
you
need
to
try
a
lot
harder
to
participate
There
was
no
crime
In
civic
life
No
trial
JEN
Try
a
lot
harder
like
what,
how?
We
were
just
on
the
street
one
day
and
then
79
DREAMBOAT
IDEOLOGUE
Well
it
sounds
like
right
now
The
police
You’re
not
really
trying
much
of
anything
at
all
shot
my
kids.
VAGUELLY
THE
LEADER
The
police.
It
does
sound
like
that.
Beat
JEN
Ok
your
right
I’m
sorry
Hello?
I
promised
myself
I
would
never
say
this
but
uh
Does
anyone
even-‐
I
am
feeling
sorry
right
now.
I’m
sorry.
The
activists
chuckle
at
that
–
Except
NEIGHBORLY,
who
walks
out.
VAGUELLY
THE
LEADER
It’s
not
about
if
you’re
sorry
or
not
sweetie.
Saying
sorry
doesn’t
help
anyone.
Small
-‐
JEN
Maybe
saying
sorry
sometimes
helps
Blackout.
8.
Darkness.
STRANGER
is
making
a
martyr
selfie
video
manifesto.
The
kind
that
gunmen
make
before
they
go
in
to
schools.
His
face
is
illuminated
by
the
glowing
screen.
Soft
bulldozer
revving
in
the
background.
STRANGER
When
I
was
born
I
was
so
hideous
my
mother
swaddled
me
in
rags
and
flushed
me
down
the
toilet.
I
woke
up
in
a
puddle.
A
group
of
men
locked
me
in
the
back
of
a
truck
and
told
me
they
were
taking
me
to
find
work.
All
the
men
were
politicians.
When
they
finally
took
off
my
blindfold
I
had
a
job
at
Dunkin
Donuts.
I
worked
fifty
hours
a
week,
ten
cents
an
hour,
for
forty
years.
Every
day
I
almost
died.
A
family
of
cockroaches
lived
in
Dunkin
Donuts
and
they
were
my
friends
and
they
looked
up
to
me
until
one
day
I
stomped
on
all
of
them
and
killed
them
all.
I
felt
powerful
but
then
I
felt
sad
and
stupid
like
I
always
feel.
Me.
I
tried
to
go
to
the
dentist
and
the
80
dentist
said
no
go
away,
not
you,
I’m
scared
of
you,
you’re
not
on
facebook.
I
don’t
trust
people
who
don’t
have
cars,
I
don’t
trust
people
who
don’t
have
facebook.
I
tried
to
make
a
facebook
but
facebook
said,
no,
not
you,
you
didn’t
go
to
college,
I
tried
to
go
to
college
but
they
said
no
not
you,
you’ve
never
been
to
the
dentist.
We
don’t
want
your
picture
in
our
yearbook.
No
college
no
facebook,
no
facebook
no
dentist,
no
dentist
no
college,
no
facebook.
No
bank
account.
No
one
looks
at
me
No
one
has
made
eye
contact
with
me
in
ten
years
No
one
has
touches
me
with
a
sweet
warm
touch,
ever
No
one
even
says
hi
to
me
No
family
No
chance,
fuck
Tiny
house
fuck
you
Fuck
me
I
have
nothing
Me:
nothing
So
Hello
Internet,
Hello
World,
and
to
everyone
who
has
ever
tortured
me,
fuck
you.
To
all
the
torturers
and
to
all
the
fucking
hypocrite
fat
cat
torturers
of
this
world
who
have
shoved
me
down
and
shoved
my
face
in
deepest
shit,
and
shoved
the
deep
shit
up
my
ass,
and
wiped
their
shit
all
over
my
face
again
and
again
until
I
can’t
breath,
I
can’t
buy
a
house
and
can’t
have
a
family
and
no
one
likes
me
because
I’m
so
pathetic,
I’m
ugly,
I
can’t
read,
no
school,
no
job
opportunity,
no
mental
health
clinic,
I’m
pathetic:
fuck
you.
Fuck
all
y’all,
fuck
this
world,
fuck
ten
cents
an
hour,
fuck
my
life,
but
guess
what
this
is
my
video,
I
have
my
bulldozer
right
behind
me,
there
are
ten
thousand
people
exactly
like
me
and
we
will
rise
up.
We
will
rise
up.
I’m
about
to
bulldoze
this
loser
town.
And
guess
what
I’m
happy.
I’m
a
king.
I’m
a
king
on
this
earth
I
am
the
bulldozer
king.
Engine
revving
noises
build.
Headlights
blare
and
approach.
Frenetic
marching
band
music
pounds
to
herald
the
entrance
of:
THE
BULLDOZER.
It
is
improbably
(metaphysically)
huge,
and
progresses
with
glacial
malevolence
towards
Waiter
and
Manager’s
HOUSE,
which
is
even
smaller
than
before
–
suddenly
almost
a
toy
house.
The
agonizing
slowness
of
a
loading
bar.
Downstage
or
upstage
of
this
pageant,
JEN
and
GIL
enter,
almost
robotically,
oblivious
to
the
drama.
They
stand
very
still.
Charged
eye
contact.
GIL
Hi
Jen
JEN
Hi
Gil
81
GIL
Hi
Pause.
Bulldozer
inching
silently
forward.
GIL
How
was
the
activist
thing
JEN
What
activist
thing
GIL
You
know
the
activist
thing
you
went
to
JEN
Oh
that
thing
Mmmmmm
It
was
ok
I
guess
GIL
Ok
is
ok
JEN
It
was
kinda
weird
actually
GIL
Weird
what’s
weird
JEN
The
activists
didn’t
know
what
they
were
talking
about
and
neither
did
I
GIL
You
don’t
have
to
like
it
JEN
But
maybe
I
do?
Or
I
don’t
know
if
liking
it
or
not
is
the
right
GIL
I’m
so
glad
your
safe!
I
was
worried
sick
about
you!
I
don’t
want
you
to
do
these
dangerous
things
anymore
JEN
Oh
that’s
sweet
that
you
were
Um
Worried
about
me
GIL
82
It’s
real
I
was
Pause.
The
bulldozer
is
¼
of
the
way
to
the
house.
JEN
This
feels
intense
Seeing
you
Feels
like
intense
GIL
Yes
this
is
very
intense
I
also
feel
intense
right
now
JEN
I
feel
like
weird
GIL
Weird
can
be
cool
JEN
I
feel
actually
really
really
almost
sick
right
now
actually
GIL
Do
you
want
me
to
drive
you
to
the
hospital.
I
don’t
have
a
driver’s
license.
JEN
Wait
now
I
don’t
feel
sick
any
more
GIL
Good,
great
JEN
Wait
now
I
feel
sick
again
GIL
Me
too
JEN
You
look
like
you’re
about
to
throw
up
GIL
I’m
just
focusing
on
breathing
right
now
I’m
focusing
on
either
your
left
eye
or
your
right
eye
but
not
both
eyes
at
once
JEN
83
Which
eye
are
you
doing
currently
GIL
Left
eye
JEN
My
left
or
your
left
GIL
My
left
your
right
JEN
Iris
and
pupil
or
just
pupil
GIL
I
don’t
know
I
don’t
know
I’m
out
of
control
Pause.
They
stand
very
still.
The
bulldozer
is
halfway
there.
JEN
Do
you
want
to
go?
GIL
I
don’t
know
do
you
want
to
go?
JEN
I
don’t
know
GIL
Maybe
we
should
both
just
go?
JEN
I
don’t
know
should
we?
GIL
Go
where
though?
JEN
Home
GIL
Oh
yeah
home
go
“home”
JEN
Our
separate
homes
84
Long
Pause.
The
longest.
GIL
Cool,
bye
maybe
JEN
Bye
ok
GIL
Goodbye
Nice
to
see
you
JEN
Yeah
nice
to
see
you
GIL
Yeah,
nice
The
bulldozer
is
¾
of
the
way
there.
Little
figurines
of
people
stand
between
the
house
and
bulldozer,
waving
their
tiny
silhouette
arms,
trying
to
stop
it.
Gil
and
Jen
are
stock
still.
Swelling
orchestral
music
or
dead
silence.
JEN
I
think
I’m
in
love
with
you
Gil
GIL
Jen
I
love
you
so
much
JEN
Wow
Gil
GIL
I’ve
wanted
this
for
so
long
JEN
I’ve
imagined
saying
I
love
you
and
imagined
you
saying
I
love
you
too
GIL
I
have
hoped
against
hope
JEN
Oh
dude
of
course
85
GIL
You’re
so
beautiful
Jen.
I
want
you
to
be
part
of
my
family
JEN
Gil
you’re
so
beautiful
Gil
you’re
so
so
beautiful
But
I
would
love
you
even
if
you
weren’t
beautiful
GIL
I
would
love
you
no
matter
what
Jen
you
are
so
sexy
JEN
You
are
fucking
sexy
as
fuck
Gil
GIL
My
whole
body
feels
different
suddenly
I
feel
happy
in
my
face
JEN
My
chemicals
are
changing
GIL
I
have
no
idea
what’s
going
on
JEN
Everything
is
going
very
slowly
and
very
fast
like
ten
thousand
things
just
happened
GIL
At
once
JEN
You
make
me
feel
like
the
things
I
say
matter
GIL
You
make
me
feel
like
the
things
I
say
matter!
You
make
me
feel
like
I
am
a
good
person
who
is
worth
being
around
JEN
You
make
me
feel
that
way
GIL
No
you
make
me
feel
that
way
JEN
No
you
86
GIL
When
I’m
with
you
I
feel
like
there
is
hope
JEN
When
I’m
with
you
I
feel
like
a
puddle
GIL
You
are
a
perfect
puddle
JEN
Perfect
I
want
to
explode
and
become
/
warm
milk
forever
GIL
Warm
milk
forever,
me
too,
so
do
it
JEN
Hi
Gil.
GIL
Hi
Jen
hi!
I’m
so
excited
JEN
I
want
to
take
care
of
you
Gil
GIL
I
love
you
Jen
JEN
I’m
going
to
personally
make
sure
you
never
have
to
work
a
day
in
your
life
I
love
you
too
At
the
last
possible
second
before
the
bulldozer
hits,
JEN
and
GIL
kiss.
Will
the
kiss
stop
the
bulldozer?
Will
the
kiss
stop
the
bulldozer?
The
bulldozer
does
not
stop.
Stranger
and
Landlorde
appear
suddenly
as
talking
heads:
STRANGER
I
thought
you
said
their
kiss
would
save
the
town
LANDLORDE
Oh
I
just
made
that
up
87
They
vanish
as
soon
as
they
appeared
–
pop!
–
and
the
bulldozer
hits
the
house.
It
is
somehow
spectacular.
Kaboom.
The
house
is
destroyed.
Marching
band
music,
perhaps,
resumes.
Gil
and
Jen,
oblivious,
make
out
with
virtuosity.
This
is
not
a
tidy
choreographed
stage
kiss
–
it
is
an
improbably
long,
honest
to
god,
semi-‐boring
to
watch,
borderline
gross
Make
Out.
It’s
not
for
us
it’s
for
them.
The
rubble
of
the
house
falls
down
from
the
sky
and
litters
the
stage.
9.
Waiter
and
Manager
gather
the
debris
from
their
ruined
house
into
trash
bags
and
lift
the
trash
bags
into
dumpsters.
Everyone
else
is
gone.
The
textural
specificity
of
black
wrinkly
trash
bags
is
going
to
feel
really
nice
on
stage,
I
think.
Slow
going.
Heavy
work.
They
lift
for
a
long
time
before
Manager,
eventually,
starts
singing
a
mournful
work
song.
It’s
goofy
and
somber
and
sweet.
And
quiet.
And
awkward.
Wandering.
She
makes
it
up
as
she
goes:
MANAGER
Why
was
our
home
destroyed?
We
didn’t
do
anything
wrong
We
even
did
all
of
the
paperwork
I
did
the
paperwork
actually
You
never
helped
with
the
paperwork
I
did
all
of
the
paperwork
Why
was
our
home
destroyed?
Was
it
because
of
the
zoning
commission
Or
maybe
property
value
Or
maybe
red
lining
had
something
to
do
with
it
Or
maybe
gerrymandering
had
something
to
do
with
it
Or
perhaps
evil
men
are
to
blame
Song
ends.
They
keep
working.
WAITER,
eventually,
invents
a
response
song:
WAITER
Thank
you
for
doing
the
paperwork
I’m
sorry
I
never
helped
Thank
you
for
doing
the
paperwork.
88
I
used
to
believe
Everything
happens
for
a
reason
But
that
was
extremely
stupid
Many
things
don’t
have
reasons
Reasons
don’t
help
and
don’t
matter
Why
are
we
even
cleaning
up
this
trash
anyway
maybe
we
should
stop
Sometimes
people
get
sick
randomly
Sometimes
people
lose
their
homes
randomly
Actually
inevitably,
not
randomly,
inevitably,
I
mean
inevitably.
Song
pause.
They
are
both
still
working
steadily.
Lifting
debris
into
trash
bags.
Lifting
trash
bags
into
dumpsters.
Manager,
eventually,
sings
again,
hopefully:
MANAGER
One
day
I
want
to
live
with
you
in
a
house
That
has
three
different
color
bedrooms
One
for
each
of
our
three
children
One
red
bedroom
One
blue
bedroom
One
yellow
bedroom
One
child
good
at
math
One
child
good
at
sports
One
child
good
at
art
One
girl
child
One
boy
child
And
one
child
who
is
a
third
gender.
WAITER
is
accustomed
to
their
singing
game
by
now.
WAITER
One
child
who
rides
horses
One
child
who
plants
trees
One
child
who
can’t
speak
One
child
who
makes
under
twenty
thousand
dollars
a
year
their
entire
life
One
child
who
becomes
a
totally
rich
asshole
and
forgets
about
me
One
child
who
dies
at
age
twelve
Actually
just
kidding
I
never
want
to
have
kids
This
terrible
world
doesn’t
deserve
our
perfect
children
89
And
anyway
kids
are
bad
for
the
environment.
They
have
cleaned
up
the
trash.
They
hug.
End
of
play
90