7/30/2016 How to Be Bold: 12 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow

How to Be Bold Expert

Reviewed
Two Parts: Acting Bold Getting What You Want

Is your self-confidence dwindling? Maybe you're just tired and frustrated of waiting around for something good to happen. The wait
is over. Practice having a bold confident mindset, create opportunities for yourself, and learn how to get what you want.

Part
Acting Bold
1

1 Stop hesitating and do something. Is there something you've been wanting or trying to do, but can't seem to get the
courage up? Whether it's asking an acquaintance out for a drink, apologizing to a loved one after a long period of
misunderstanding, or simply being friendly to a co-worker, stop thinking about acting and actually do something.[1]
Boldness is the opposite of hesitation. Whenever you're feeling hesitant in interactions with others, or in making a
decision for yourself, learn to swallow your pride and make the first move.

2 Do the unexpected. Bold people aren't afraid of trying new things, and one of the reasons they're so exciting to be
around is that they keep you guessing. This could be something new for you, like salsa dancing or learning to water
ski.[2] Whatever you do, be sure to do it for yourself, not other people.
Doing something new and unexpected might make you vulnerable or afraid. Don't give in to those feelings. Instead,
accept the newness of the skill and don't be afraid to be yourself.[3]

3 Rediscover who you are. Ultimately, boldness has to do with understanding your strengths and weaknesses, then
moving beyond them. Don't try to hide your problems or failures, but accept them as part of you. This will allow you to
confidently move forward, appreciating your uniqueness.[4]
Realize that you don't have to do random, uncharacteristic things to discover who you are. Avoid making any
uncharacteristic changes just to shock people. Be honest with yourself.

4 Pretend you're already bold. If you were to switch places with somebody you admire for their assertiveness and
boldness, what would they do in your shoes? If you already know someone who's bold, imagine how they'd act.
Your bold inspiration doesn't have to be real. You could even think of a character from a movie or book who's
daring and brave. Then, imagine their boldness in your life.

5 Be willing to say no. If someone asks you to do something you don't want to do, refuse. Saying "No" will reinvigorate
your individuality and help you to feel bold, ensuring that you're ready and willing to go out and get what you want.
Don't feel like you have to make up an excuse or explanation. People will have to learn to respect your honesty and
boldness, and you'll be getting what you want.[5]
Realize that if you do commit to doing something, you should follow through. Your sense of self-respect will grow,
as will other people's respect for you.[6]

6 Follow through on your claims. It's not enough to simply say you're going to do something, you actually have to do
it or people think of you as a flake. When your word is good and you follow through with actions, people will trust you
and look upon you as a bold, reliable, complicated person.[7]
If you agreed to do something you really don't wish to do, you should probably just follow through with it because
you gave your word. Next time, remember to say no and assert yourself.

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7/30/2016 How to Be Bold: 12 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow

Part
Getting What You Want
2

1 Ask for what you want. Rather than waiting to be recognized for your efforts, or expecting someone to consider
your needs, step up and ask. This doesn't mean you should demand what you want or be aggressive. Instead,
confidently and tactfully choose your words.[8]
Don't confuse being bold with being aggressive. Aggressiveness often involves imposing your viewpoints or actions
on others. Boldness has nothing to do with the people around you. It's about overcoming your fears and taking
action.

2 Negotiate. The phrase "What can you do for me?" is an easy and powerful way to throw the onus of responsibility
back on the person you're negotiating with. Even if the initial answer is "no," keep the window of opportunity open as
long as possible to give them an opportunity to change their mind.
Plan out counter-offers before you start negotiating. If you think your boss will reject your request for time off
because there's no one to fill your place, say you'll double-up a shift when you get back, or that you'll complete
tasks remotely when you have free time.

3 Offer two choices. One of the best ways to get what you want is to simplify the number of solutions to a given
problem. This ensures you'll get what you want.
Even if there are an unlimited number of possibilities for a given problem, limit them to the solutions that work for
you. This will cut down on the amount of hassle that goes into the solution and ensure that the outcome is what you
want.

4 Take risks and create opportunities. There's a difference between being reckless and accepting risks. Reckless
people don't accept risks because they don't even think about them. A bold person, on the other hand, has learned
about the risks, and decided to go through with the decision anyway, ready and willing to accept the consequences if
things don't work out.[9]
Inaction or hesitation is often a kind of risk, because you're risking missing an opportunity. This is a risk to avoid,
however. Your goal is to create your best chance of success, not whittle away at your window of opportunity.
When you've made the choice to act, do it without fear.

5 Ask questions. There's nothing bold about blundering into a situation you're ignorant about and not listening to
advice. If you're unclear about an assignment or about a topic at work or school, boldness is being willing to admit that
you're confused and asking for clarification.
Don't be afraid to take the bold step of getting help. If someone is unhelpful, find another person. This persistence
to find the answers shows boldness on your part.[10]

6 Accept any outcome. While there's power in taking on something new or trying to get what you want, there's also the
chance you may fail. Embrace the failure. It's not the opposite of success, it's a necessary component. Without the
risk of failure, you don't have the opportunity for success.[11]
Don't worry about rejection. This requires some emotional detachment from the outcome. Don't let a rejection
destroy your self-confidence and ability to be bold.

Community Q&A

How do I make a bold move to get to that special person in my life?

Be confident. That's all you can really do when trying to capture someone's heart. Try teasing them, and right when you feel
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C ontributor
comfortable, maybe ask if they want to hang out sometime. If they turn you down, they'll be surprised at how relaxed about it
you are.

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Not Helpful 4 Helpful 21

How can I overcome problems between me and my wife?

Honesty, forgiveness and admitting faults are the three gold keys to have a good marriage. Don't take yourself and your
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C ontributor
needs so seriously either, meet your wife halfway and don't expect her to pick up after you physically or emotionally.
Not Helpful 1 Helpful 10

Do you have suggestions for how I can become bold with current friends?

Don't bother about what they think of you. Friends are people you can be yourself around and if that's not possible, then
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they're not good friends.
Not Helpful 1 Helpful 8

Though I often have a few questions when I am in a meeting, I feel hesitant to ask them. How can I overcome this?

This is often caused by being afraid of saying something others will think of as stupid, worrying that it might show you up as
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C ontributor
not understanding something or worrying about holding up the meeting. It may help to understand that often the person who
asks a question asks the very thing that others are thinking but are afraid to ask and thus, everyone benefits from it being
asked. It also helps to accept that questions don't hold things up, they clarify for those running the meeting that some
aspects need to be gone over again to ensure fuller comprehension. Be bold and ask those questions next time and see
how it goes, you'll be pleasantly surprised.
Not Helpful 4 Helpful 16

Basically I am an introvert and quite reserved. How can I make a bold move?

Practice it ahead of time, talk to yourself if you need to, and think about all the possible outcomes to your bold move so that
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C ontributor
you can prepare for whatever might happen. Then go for it.
Not Helpful 0 Helpful 0

Tips

Don't let people knock you down when trying new things. They are usually the kind of people that wish they were bold but don't
have the courage to do what you are doing.
You don't need to be fearless to be bold. Let people know that you're afraid but move forward, keep going and don't look back.

Sources and Citations

1. http://theboldlife.com/2013/05/13-things-fearless-people-do-differently/
2. http://theboldlife.com/2013/05/13-things-fearless-people-do-differently/
3. http://theboldlife.com/2013/05/13-things-fearless-people-do-differently/

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