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Zehao Chen
Dr.Cooper
4/3/23
Assignment 3

Navigating the Complexities of Lying and the Importance of Honesty and

Integrity in Children

Lying is a complex social behavior that is often essential for effective

social interaction. However, promoting honesty and integrity in children is also

essential to their personal and social development. This paper examines two

sources, Judith Viorst's "The Truth About Lying" and "Lying and Truth-Telling

in Children: From Concept to Action," to explore the complexity of lying and

the importance of promoting honesty and integrity in children. importance of

promoting honesty and integrity in children.

The first source, Judith Viorst's "The Truth About Lying," argues that

lying is a multifaceted behavior that is often necessary to maintain social

harmony and protect individual self-esteem. According to Viorst, there are

different types of lies, such as social lies and self-serving lies, and everyone

lies at some point in their lives. She writes, "We all lie for two reasons: to

protect ourselves or to protect others" (Viorst), and Viorst sees lying as a

complex and pervasive part of human interaction that requires nuanced

understanding to navigate effectively. Viorst sees lying as a natural and

necessary part of human communication. She identifies four types of lies:

social lies, protective lies, peacekeeping lies, and compulsive lies. viorst

recognizes that while lying can be harmful and destructive when used
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maliciously or excessively, it is often necessary to avoid conflict, protect

oneself or others, or maintain harmony in relationships. viorst's perspective

recognizes the nuances of lying and truth-telling, and emphasizes the

importance of considering the lie Viorst examines the various reasons people

lie, such as to protect themselves, to avoid hurting others, or to gain social

advantage. While acknowledging the validity of these motivations, Viorst

emphasizes the importance of honesty in building authentic and meaningful

relationships. As she points out, "Ultimately, honesty is the foundation of

human communication. If there is no honesty, there is no communication. If

there is no communication, there are no real human relationships" (Viorst,

2009)

Viorst's view is supported by research in the field of developmental

psychology. In "Lying and truth-telling in children: from concept to action",

the authors argue that lying is a complex behavior that emerges gradually

during childhood and is influenced by cognitive, social and emotional factors.

Talwar and Lee argue that lying may be harmful to children's social

development and interpersonal relationships and may have negative

consequences later in life. They also argue that parents and caregivers have a

responsibility to teach children the value of honesty and integrity. The authors

argue that although lying is a common behavior among children, it is

important to promote truth-telling as a fundamental value in children's

education. As they point out, "Honesty is an important part of social

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interaction and is closely linked to the development of moral values. Children

who are taught the importance of honesty are more likely to develop positive

social relationships and exhibit pro-social behaviors" (Barnett , Baruch, and

Rivers, 2018)

While these two articles offer different perspectives on lying and

truth-telling, they both recognize the complexity of the issue; Viorst

acknowledges that lying may be necessary in some situations, while Talwar

and Lee acknowledge that lying may be developmentally normal for children.

However, their differing views on the morality of lying and its potential harms

raise important questions about the role of honesty and integrity in our lives.

Although Viorst and Lee's arguments differ in focus and scope, they have one

thing in common in emphasizing the importance of honesty in building

meaningful and authentic relationships. Both authors recognize that lying is a

complex and subtle behavior that can be used for a variety of purposes, but

that honesty is an important component in building trust and integrity in

personal and social relationships. In addition, both authors acknowledge the

challenges involved in promoting honesty and truth-telling, especially in

situations where lying seems expedient or necessary. In my opinion, honesty

should be the cornerstone of our personal and social relationships, even if

lying sometimes seems necessary or expedient. While lying in some cases

can prevent harm or promote happiness, I believe that in the long run, honesty

leads to truer and more satisfying relationships and helps build a more just
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and ethical society. Therefore, we should strive to tell the truth whenever

possible and encourage others to do the same, especially in our interactions

with our children, who are the future of our society.

In conclusion, lying is a complex behavior that cannot be completely

avoided, and it is important to understand the reasons why people may lie.

However, promoting honesty and integrity in children is critical to their

personal and social development. By modeling honesty, emphasizing the

importance of telling the truth, and creating a safe and supportive

environment for children to express themselves honestly. I believe that both

perspectives are valid and that they complement each other. On the one hand,

lying is a complex behavior that cannot be completely avoided, and

understanding the reasons why people may lie is critical. On the other hand,

promoting honesty and integrity in children is critical to their personal and

social development.

Therefore, I believe that while lying may be an inevitable part of human

interaction, it is important to encourage honesty and integrity in children from

an early age. By promoting honesty, parents and educators can help children

develop positive social behaviors and create a more trusting and supportive

environment for all. At the same time, it is important to recognize that lying is a

complex behavior that may have different motivations and consequences

depending on the situation, and that a nuanced understanding of lying is

necessary for effective social interactions.

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Viors, Judith. The Truth About Lying,

https://docplayer.net/27811719-The-truth-about-lying.html.

Lee, Kang. Lying and Truth-Telling in Children: From Concept to Action.,

https://web.p.ebscohost.com/ehost/detail/detail?vid=6&sid=08e14a17-
3d0a-4a81-9b1d-d2caaf492329%40redis&bdata=JkF1dGhUeXBlPWlw
LHNoaWImYXV0aHR5cGU9c3NvJmN1c3RpZD1jbHM1OCZzaXRlPWVo
b3N0LWxpdmUmc2NvcGU9c2l0ZQ%3d%3d#db=a9h&AN=48758698.