{1133}{1199}You've reached|Doug. Sorry I missed your call.

{1200}{1382}Please leave a name and number|and I'll get back to you.

{1412}{1505}Hi, you've reached|Dr. Stuart Price with Divine Dentistry.
{1506}{1628}Please leave a message after...
{1717}{1756}Hey, this is Phil.
{1757}{1868}Leave me a message or don't.|Do me a favor, don't text me. It's gay.
{1869}{1905}- Anything?|I tried them all.
{1906}{1959}It keeps going straight to voicemail.
{1960}{2005}Well, there has to be an explanation.
{2006}{2076}Sweetie, it's Vegas.|You lose track of time in casinos.
{2077}{2161}There's no windows, there's no clocks.|He's probably on a heater.
{2162}{2265}And you never walk away from the table|when you're on a heater.
{2266}{2362}You do if you're getting married.
{2363}{2431}- Hello?|- Ahem, Tracy, it's Phil.
{2432}{2473}Phil, where the hell are you guys?
{2474}{2531}I'm freaking out.
{2532}{2569}Yeah, listen.
{2570}{2630}Uh...
{2662}{2693}We fucked up.
{2694}{2817}- What are you talking about?|- The bachelor party, the whole night.
It...
{2818}{2933}Things got out of control, uh...
{2934}{2973}...and we lost Doug.
{2974}{3043}- What?|- We can't find Doug.
{3044}{3139}What are you saying, Phil?|We're getting married in five hours.
{3140}{3200}Yeah.
{3207}{3312}That's not gonna happen.
{5404}{5446}To my left a little.
{5447}{5499}Thank you.
{5500}{5574}Okey-dokey.
{5625}{5695}- Whoa, watch it, pervert!|- Alan, he's just doing your inseam.
{5696}{5834}- He's getting very close to my shaft.|- All done. You can change now.
{5835}{5941}Right. Thanks, Floyd.|Thank you very much.
{5942}{5994}All right, buddy,|we should get a move on.
{5995}{6096}You know, Doug, I was thinking...
{6097}{6175}If you wanna go to Vegas without me,|that is totally cool, you know?
{6176}{6221}What are you talking about?
{6222}{6309}You know, Phil and Stu, they're|your buddies, and it's your bachelor
party.
{6310}{6363}Come on, Alan. Those two love you.
{6364}{6437}And also, I don't want you to feel|like you have to hold back...
{6438}{6499}...because your wife's brother's there.|I just...
{6500}{6594}It's not like that.
{6622}{6675}It's not like that. I|already told you, Alan.
{6676}{6777}Okay? We're just spending the night|in Vegas. It's no big deal.
{6778}{6945}Besides, you're not just my wife's brother,|you're my brother now.
{6946}{7030}I want you to know, Doug,|I'm a steel trap.
{7031}{7137}Whatever happens tonight,|I will never, ever, ever, speak a word of it.
{7138}{7205}Okay. Yeah, I got it. Thank you.|I don't think that...
{7206}{7285}Seriously. I don't care what happens.
{7286}{7349}- I don't care if we kill someone.|- What?
{7350}{7443}You heard me. It's Sin City.
{7444}{7511}I won't tell a soul.
{7512}{7596}Okay. I got it.
{7646}{7739}- Thank you.|No, thank you.
{7740}{7803}I love you so much.
{7804}{7859}- Ha. I knew it.|- Dad.
{7860}{7900}Oh, stop it, I'm just jerking around.
{7901}{7968}Alan, put some pants on.|You have weird legs.
{7969}{7997}Yes, Daddy.
{7998}{8046}- His legs look fine, Dad.|- Oh, please.
{8047}{8198}He has his mother's|legs. It's just freaky.
{8214}{8323}Alan, I'm just teasing.|You have wonderful legs.
{8324}{8409}They're better than your mother's.|They're beautiful.
{8410}{8485}Can you believe this?|Just two more days.
{8486}{8564}I know. You getting nervous?
{8565}{8624}- You wanna back out?|- Shut up.
{8625}{8705}Just tell me. Oh. Mm.
{8706}{8773}You know, I don't need to go to Vegas.|It's dumb.
{8774}{8861}It's not dumb. It's one night.|Have fun, you deserve it.
{8862}{8915}I know, but we should have|gone last weekend.
{8916}{8987}We have so much to do.|I... I'm gonna cancel.
{8988}{9060}My brother packed his bag two weeks ago.|You're not canceling.
{9061}{9094}- Really?|- Yeah.
{9095}{9159}- Two weeks?|- Yeah, he's excited.
{9160}{9221}Thanks again for bringing him,|by the way.
{9222}{9289}You don't need to thank me,|it's nothing. He's a cool guy.
{9290}{9345}It's not nothing|and he's not a cool guy...
{9346}{9413}...so thank you.
{9414}{9481}Thank you.
{9482}{9554}Thank you.
{9633}{9697}Hey, Sid.
{9698}{9789}I just wanted to thank you guys again|for everything you're doing this
weekend.
{9790}{9847}- We couldn't be more excited.|- Ah, that's great.
{9848}{9941}Yeah, okay. You love us|and we love you. Terrific.
{9942}{9990}So talk to me about Vegas.
{9991}{10045}- Uh... It should be pretty mellow.|- Mm-hm.
{10046}{10129}Do some gambling, maybe catch some rays,|have a few laughs.
{10130}{10209}Yeah, some laughs. I got you.
{10210}{10248}How you getting out there?
{10249}{10319}Uh, we're gonna take my car.|Gonna pick up my friends after this.
{10320}{10413}- Prius? You're taking a Prius to Vegas?|- Yeah.
{10414}{10477}You know, when you go to Vegas...
{10478}{10509}...you gotta go to Vegas.
{10510}{10577}No. Sid.
{10640}{10744}- Really?|Come on, we're family now.
{10745}{10835}- You sure? I mean, you love this car.|- Doug, it's just a car.
{10836}{10944}Just make sure to put some Armor All|on the tires so the sand doesn't
seep in.
{10945}{11001}Absolutely. That's easy.
{11002}{11115}Oh, and, uh, don't let Alan drive,|because there's something wrong
with him.
{11116}{11144}Understood.
{11145}{11208}Oh, and Phil either. I don't like him.
{11209}{11319}I will be the only one driving this car.|I promise.
{11320}{11348}Good.
{11349}{11431}Remember, what happens in Vegas|stays in Vegas.
{11432}{11487}Ah!
{11498}{11607}Except for herpes.|That shit'll come back with you.
{11608}{11672}All right. Hold on. I still need|some of your permission slips...
{11673}{11759}...and $90 for the field trip|to the Griffith Observatory next
weekend.
{11760}{11859}Pay now, or forever regret missing out|on the experience of a
lifetime, guys.
{11860}{11892}You're good, you got it.
{11893}{11939}Thanks, Mr. Wenneck.|Thank you. Hey.
{11940}{11992}You really came through,|thank you.
{11993}{12063}Whoa, Max. What gives?|What, no planetarium?
{12064}{12121}My mom won't give me the money.|I'm grounded.
{12122}{12176}- Well, how much you got on you?|- I don't know.
{12177}{12236}Like, 20 bucks.
{12237}{12309}Well, give me the 20|and I'll cover the rest.
{12310}{12387}- Really?|- Yeah. Well, we'll talk about it.
{12388}{12439}But give me the 20|so I know you're serious.
{12440}{12574}- Cool. Thanks, Mr. Wenneck.|- Yeah.
{13001}{13029}Hold on, I got it.
{13030}{13097}Ahem, do you have to park so close?
{13098}{13169}- Yeah. What's wrong?|- I shouldn't be here.
{13170}{13199}Why is that, Alan?
{13200}{13293}I'm not supposed to be within 200 feet|of a school.
{13294}{13416}- What?|- Or a Chuck E. Cheese.
{13454}{13503}Mr. Wenneck, I was...|- It's the weekend.
{13504}{13577}I don't know you. You do not exist.
{13578}{13625}- Shit.|Heh, heh, heh.
{13626}{13669}- Nice car.|Yeah.
{13670}{13713}- I'm driving.|Whoa, no chance, buddy...
{13714}{13767}Don't step... God. Watch the leath...
{13768}{13838}Shut up and drive before these nerds|ask me another question.
{13839}{13881}- Animal.|- Who's this?
{13882}{13961}- It's Alan. Tracy's brother.|- I met you, like, four times.
{13962}{14033}Oh, yeah. How you doing, man?
{14034}{14095}Don't forget your Rogaine.
{14096}{14165}Rogaine, check.
{14166}{14222}And don't forget to use it.
{14223}{14320}I can totally tell when you forget,|your hair just looks thinner.
{14321}{14394}Using of the Rogaine, check.
{14395}{14459}Make sure to call me|right when you get to the hotel...
{14460}{14524}...not like that conference in Phoenix.
{14525}{14588}I had to wait two hours|for you to call me.
{14589}{14656}Yeah, I was the keynote speaker.|I was late to the podium.
{14657}{14774}- Still?|- Yeah, you're totally right. I'm sorry.
{14775}{14833}- What is the matter?|I don't know.
{14834}{14903}I hope you're not gonna go to|some strip club when you're up there.
{14904}{14971}Melissa, we're going to Napa Valley.
{14972}{15038}I don't even think they have strip clubs|in wine country.
{15039}{15172}Well, I'm sure if there is one,|Phil will sniff it out.
{15173}{15220}It's not gonna be like that.
{15221}{15269}Besides, you know how I feel about that.
{15270}{15367}I know, I know. It's just boys|and their bachelor parties, it's
gross.
{15368}{15477}You're right, it is gross. Mm-mm.
{15478}{15552}And you know what else, honestly?
{15553}{15669}Why would I risk this for,|you know, a couple of minutes...
{15670}{15802}...of some 19-year-old hard body|in a schoolgirl outfit?
{15803}{15851}- Yeah.|- Why would I ever need, like...
{15852}{15925}- You're right. And if you ever do...|- What?
{15926}{16013}...I will fucking kick your ass.
{16014}{16088}Thank you. Thank you for that.
{16089}{16173}That is exactly what I needed to hear.
{16174}{16214}Not to mention it's pathetic.
{16215}{16324}Those places are filthy.|And the worst part is...
{16325}{16358}...that little girl...
{16359}{16465}...grinding and dry humping|the fucking stage up there...
{16466}{16545}...that's somebody's daughter up there.|- I was just gonna say that.
{16546}{16621}See? I just wish your friends|were as mature as you.
{16622}{16702}They are mature, actually.|You just have to get to know them better.
{16703}{16794}Paging Dr. Faggot.
{16822}{16896}Dr. Faggot!
{16943}{17062}- I should go.|- That's a good idea, Dr. Faggot.
{17063}{17207}Have a good weekend.|I'm gonna miss you.
{17421}{17449}Whoo!
{17450}{17522}Road trip!
{17553}{17640}Vegas! Vegas, baby!
{17641}{17703}Vegas!
{17706}{17783}You're nuts!
{17851}{17919}Come on, just till Barstow.|Everybody's passing us.
{17920}{18041}Absolutely not. I promised Sid.|I will be the only one driving this
car.
{18042}{18073}Besides, you're drinking.
{18074}{18153}Oh, what are you, a cop now?|You know I drive great when I'm drunk.
{18154}{18230}True. Don't forget,|Phil was always our designated drunk driver.
{18231}{18291}Yeah. You wanna explain it|to them, Alan?
{18292}{18370}Guys, my dad loves this car|more than he loves me, so, yeah.
{18371}{18452}Aw, whatever. I left my wife and kid|at home so I could go with you
guys.
{18453}{18517}- You know how difficult that was?|- That's really sweet.
{18518}{18568}- Yeah.|- Dude, I was being sarcastic.
{18569}{18598}I fucking hate my life.
{18599}{18682}- I may never go back. I might stay in Vegas.|- Here we go.
{18683}{18734}Doug, enjoy yourself,|because come Sunday...
{18735}{18819}...you're gonna start dying|just a little bit every day.
{18820}{18917}Yeah. That's why I've managed|to stay single this whole time, you
know?
{18918}{18997}- Oh, really? That's why you're single?|- Yeah.
{18998}{19061}Cool. Good to know.
{19062}{19213}- Am I all right over there, Alan?|- Yeah, you're good.
{19214}{19251}Aw, Jesus Christ!
{19252}{19323}- Oh, my God!|- That was awesome!
{19324}{19382}That was not awesome.|What's wrong with you?
{19383}{19525}- That was insane. We almost just died.|- You should have seen your
face.
{19526}{19586}- Classic.|- That's funny. Ha-ha.
{19587}{19671}It's not funny.
{20024}{20154}- Boy, you've got a sweet ride there.|- Don't touch it.
{20155}{20239}Don't even look at it. Go on, get out.
{20240}{20358}You heard me.|Don't look at me, either.
{20359}{20441}Yeah, you better walk on.
{20442}{20521}- He's actually kind of funny.|- Yeah, he means well.
{20522}{20589}I'll hit an old man in public.
{20590}{20658}Is he all there? Like, mentally?
{20659}{20737}I think so. He's just an odd guy.|You know, he's kind of weird.
{20738}{20779}- I mean, should we be worried?|- No.
{20780}{20825}- All right.|- No.
{20826}{20900}Tracy did mention|that we shouldn't let him gamble.
{20901}{20933}Or drink too much.
{20934}{21029}Jesus, he's like a gremlin.|Comes with instructions and shit.
{21030}{21096}And one water.
{21097}{21141}- All good with Melissa?|- Oh, yeah.
{21142}{21272}Told her we're two hours|outside of wine country, and she bought it.
{21273}{21349}You think it's strange you've been|in a relationship for years...
{21350}{21392}...and you have to lie about Vegas?
{21393}{21461}Yeah, I do.|But trust me, it's not worth the fight.
{21462}{21590}Oh, so you can't go to Vegas but she can|fuck a bellhop on a Carnival
Cruise Line?
{21591}{21619}Hey.
{21620}{21707}Okay, first of all, he was a bartender.
{21708}{21757}And she was wasted.
{21758}{21860}And, if you must know,|he didn't even come inside her.
{21861}{21901}And you believe that?
{21902}{22014}Uh, yeah, I do believe that,|because she's grossed out by semen.
{22015}{22071}That'll be 32.50.
{22072}{22199}It's 32.50, you gonna pay for it?
{22201}{22304}It says here we should work in teams.|Who wants to be my spotter?
{22305}{22396}I don't think you should be doing|too much gambling tonight, Alan.
{22397}{22447}Gambling?|Who said anything about gambling?
{22448}{22505}It's not gambling|when you know you're gonna win.
{22506}{22554}Counting cards is a foolproof system.
{22555}{22595}It's also illegal.
{22596}{22753}It's not illegal, it's frowned upon,|like masturbating on an
airplane.
{22754}{22796}I'm pretty sure that's illegal too.
{22797}{22928}Yeah, maybe after 9/11,|where everybody got so sensitive.
{22929}{23009}Thanks a lot, Bin Laden.
{23010}{23091}Either way, you gotta be super smart|to count cards, buddy, okay?
{23092}{23125}Oh, really?|- It's not easy.
{23126}{23179}Well maybe we should tell that|to Rain Man...
{23180}{23257}...because he practically bankrupted|a casino, and he was a retard.
{23258}{23299}What?
{23300}{23354}He was a retard.
{23355}{23420}Retard.
{24359}{24433}Here we go.
{24449}{24482}Hi, welcome to Caesars.
{24483}{24515}Hello.|Checking in?
{24516}{24576}Yeah. We have a reservation|under Dr. Price.
{24577}{24633}Okay, let me look that up for you.
{24634}{24664}Dr. Price?
{24665}{24763}Stu, you're a dentist, okay?|Don't try and get fancy.
{24764}{24873}- It's not fancy if it's true.|- He's a dentist. Don't get too
excited.
{24874}{24947}And if, uh, someone has a heart attack,|you should still call 911.
{24948}{24992}We'll be sure to do that.
{24993}{25077}Can I ask you a question?|Do you know if the hotel's pager-friendly?
{25078}{25157}- What do you mean?|- I'm not getting a sig on my beeper.
{25158}{25233}- I'm not sure.|Is there a payphone bank?
{25234}{25322}Bunch of payphones? Business.
{25323}{25395}Um, there's a phone in your room.
{25396}{25436}That'll work.
{25437}{25521}So I have you in a two-bedroom suite|on the 12th floor, is that okay?
{25522}{25556}It sounds perfect.
{25557}{25617}Actually, I was wondering|if you had any villas.
{25618}{25683}- We're not even gonna be in the room.|- It's unnecessary.
{25684}{25738}No big deal. We can share beds.|It's one night.
{25739}{25813}If we're share beds,|I'm bunking with Phil.
{25814}{25863}- You good with that?|- No, I'm not.
{25864}{25949}Guys, we are not sharing beds.|What are we, 12 years old?
{25950}{26001}Lisa, I apologize.|How much is the villa?
{26002}{26076}Well, we have one villa available,|and it's 4200 for the night.
{26077}{26131}- Is it awesome?|- It's pretty awesome.
{26132}{26236}- We'll take it. Give her your credit card.|- I can't give her my
credit card.
{26237}{26353}- We'll split it.|- Are you crazy? No, this is on us.
{26354}{26427}You don't get it.|Melissa checks my statements.
{26428}{26470}We just need a credit card on file.
{26471}{26548}We won't charge you until check out,|so you can figure it out then.
{26549}{26659}That's perfect. Thank you, Lisa.|We'll deal with it tomorrow. Come
on.
{26660}{26709}Fine.
{26710}{26765}- Can I ask you another question?|Sure.
{26766}{26800}You probably get this a lot.
{26801}{26865}This isn't the real Caesars Palace,|is it?
{26866}{26921}What do you mean?
{26922}{26985}Did, uh...
{26986}{27074}- Did Caesar live here?|- Um, no.
{27075}{27166}I didn't think so.
{27330}{27402}Holy shit.
{27410}{27452}Now, this is Vegas.
{27453}{27565}Oh, my... This place is enormous.
{27566}{27605}Now we're talking.
{27606}{27684}Is this all one suite?
{27685}{27724}Thank you, guys.
{27725}{27773}Or should I say, "Thank you, Stu"?
{27774}{27858}You're welcome.|It's only because I love you.
{27859}{27947}Hey, guys. Look, free almonds.
{27948}{28010}- Oh, no, no, no. Please put those back.|- Wait, I'm just hungry.
{28011}{28085}- Well, I know, but...|- Stu, what the fuck?
{28086}{28190}It's a pressure-sensitive plate. When you pick|it up, you have 30
seconds to put it back...
{28191}{28242}...or they bill you.|That's pretty neat.
{28243}{28305}It may be neat,|but it's also very expensive, so...
{28306}{28373}Those almonds are probably, like, $14.
{28374}{28413}Stu, relax.
{28414}{28497}Phil, Melissa is like|a forensic accountant, okay?
{28498}{28553}She scours my statements.|If you want nuts...
{28554}{28681}...put your own credit card down.|- Watch this.
{28682}{28760}Problem solved.|Alan, enjoy your almonds.
{28761}{28828}I don't want them. He ruined it.
{28829}{28951}All right, let's pick a room, let's get|dressed. Be ready in 30
minutes.
{28952}{29073}I just wish you could see this place,|because you, of all people,
would love it.
{29074}{29182}Yeah. No, it's so quaint.
{29183}{29234}Yeah, no, there's no TVs, no phones.
{29235}{29336}They just have these cute little antique|radios in all the rooms.
{29337}{29397}Yeah.
{29399}{29450}What else? Um...
{29451}{29509}We met the, uh, proprietor.
{29510}{29570}- Oh, I bet you...|What's his name?
{29571}{29619}Um, Caesar. Palacé.
{29620}{29685}Yeah, like the salad.
{29686}{29779}Okay. Well, listen, I gotta go,|because we're gonna hit this wine
tasting.
{29780}{29895}Wait, wait. I love you. Okay. Bye.
{29896}{29963}I'm not even gonna say anything,|it's so embarrassing.
{29964}{30021}- Where's Alan?|- He, uh, he went downstairs.
{30022}{30073}He said he had to grab a few things.
{30074}{30225}Good, because I have something|to show you.
{30235}{30269}Uh-Oh.
{30270}{30321}- What the hell is that?|What do you think?
{30322}{30412}If it's what I think it is,|I think it's a big fucking mistake.
{30413}{30493}I'm gonna propose to Melissa|at your wedding. After the ceremony.
{30494}{30590}- Stuey, congratulations!|- Thank you, Doug.
{30591}{30657}- That's a beautiful ring.|- Yeah. It's my grandmother's.
{30658}{30732}She made it all the way through|the Holocaust with that thing.
{30733}{30805}Wait, have you not listened|to anything I have ever said?
{30806}{30891}Phil, we've been dating for three years.|It's time. This is how it
works.
{30892}{30973}A, that is bullshit.|And B, she is a complete bitch.
{30974}{31029}Hey, that's his fiancée.
{31030}{31116}What? It's true. It's true.|You know it's true. She beats him.
{31117}{31191}That was twice, and I was out of line.
{31192}{31253}She's strong-willed. And I respect that.
{31254}{31301}Wow. Wow.
{31302}{31374}He's in denial.|Not to mention, she fucked a sailor.
{31375}{31423}Hey, he wasn't a sailor.
{31424}{31495}He was a bartender on a cruise ship.|You know that.
{31496}{31602}Guys, I'm standing right here.|So I can hear everything that you're
saying.
{31603}{31657}Hey, guys. You ready|to let the dogs out?
{31658}{31697}- What?|- Do what?
{31698}{31805}Let the dogs out. You know.
{31806}{31833}Who brought this guy?
{31834}{31891}Yes, Alan, we are ready|to let the dogs out.
{31892}{32009}- Hey, congrats.|- Thank you.
{32241}{32349}I love this fucking town.
{32474}{32541}- You're not really wearing that, are you?|- Wearing what?
{32542}{32590}The man-purse.
{32591}{32665}You're actually gonna wear that|or are you guys fucking with me?
{32666}{32744}It's where I keep all my things.|I get a lot of compliments on this.
{32745}{32802}Plus, it's not a man-purse.|It's called a satchel.
{32803}{32859}Indiana Jones wears one.
{32860}{32951}So does Joy Behar.
{32972}{33035}- We're going up, guys.|- Yeah, that's perfect.
{33036}{33079}Really?
{33080}{33164}We're going up?
{33236}{33303}I'm just saying,|it's clearly marked, okay?
{33304}{33357}We are definitely|not supposed to be up here.
{33358}{33439}Come on, we're paying for a villa.|We can do whatever the fuck we
want.
{33440}{33491}- Yeah, but...|- Just wedge the door open.
{33492}{33617}- Guys, come on up here.|- Fine.
{33639}{33702}How the hell did you find this place?
{33703}{33742}Don't worry about it.
{33743}{33798}Oh!
{33806}{33841}- You all right?|- Yeah.
{33842}{33929}- Look at the view up here.|- You happy?
{33930}{33992}- This is great.|- Whoa!
{33993}{34021}Are you kidding?
{34022}{34082}Alan, how we doing, buddy?|- Good.
{34083}{34177}What do you got over there, Alan?|That's the Eiffel Tower.
{34178}{34206}Uh-oh.
{34207}{34251}- Right?|- A little Jägermeister.
{34252}{34294}- Good idea.|- There it is. Good call.
{34295}{34324}On the roof.
{34325}{34422}Um, no, this is good.|I'd like to make a toast.
{34423}{34473}To Doug and Tracy.
{34474}{34546}May tonight be...
{34547}{34603}...but a minor speed bump...
{34604}{34671}...in an otherwise very long|and healthy marriage.
{34672}{34709}- Cheers.|- Cheers.
{34710}{34796}Short and sweet.
{34815}{34848}Oh, it's like college.
{34849}{34910}- All right. I wanna talk about something.|All right.
{34911}{34961}- I want to...|I'd like to...
{34962}{35041}I'd like to say something...
{35042}{35099}...that I prepared...
{35100}{35220}...tonight.|- All right, Alan.
{35258}{35323}"Hello.
{35331}{35383}How about that ride in?
{35384}{35492}I guess that's why they call it|Sin City.
{35493}{35614}You guys might not know this,|but I consider myself a bit of a loner.
{35615}{35733}I tend to think of myself|as a one-man wolf pack.
{35734}{35842}But when my sister brought Doug home,|I knew he was one of my own.
{35843}{35936}And my wolf pack, it grew by one.
{35937}{36007}So were there two...|So there were two of us in the wolf pack.
{36008}{36133}I was alone first in the pack,|and then Doug joined in later.
{36134}{36176}And six months ago...
{36177}{36253}...when Doug introduced me to you guys,|I thought:
{36254}{36353}'Wait a second. Could it be? '|And now, I know for sure.
{36354}{36420}I just added two more guys|to my wolf pack. "
{36421}{36477}- All right.|- All right.
{36478}{36518}"Four of us wolves...
{36519}{36616}...running around the desert together|in Las Vegas...
{36617}{36679}...looking for strippers and cocaine. "
{36680}{36732}So tonight...
{36733}{36761}...I make a toast.|- Whoa.
{36762}{36810}- What...?|- What do you got there?
{36811}{36963}Dude, what the fuck?|What the hell are you doing?
{36964}{37033}- What is that?|- Blood brothers.
{37034}{37073}- Don't... Why did you...?|- Damn it.
{37074}{37104}- Here.|- Alan...
{37105}{37145}- No.|- No, I'm not doing that.
{37146}{37186}Go ahead, Stuart.|- Make him stop.
{37187}{37251}Alan, we're not gonna cut ourselves.|Give me the knife.
{37252}{37321}Slowly. Thank you.|Okay. Thank you very much.
{37322}{37369}You all right? Are you okay?|Mm-hm.
{37370}{37413}- Do you need a doctor?|- He's good.
{37414}{37445}You sure?|I'm good.
{37446}{37516}All right, good,|because I need everybody to focus.
{37517}{37612}I wanna take a moment, I wanna talk|about some... I wanna talk about
memory.
{37613}{37685}No, better yet,|I wanna talk about selective memory.
{37686}{37822}You see, whatever happens here tonight|may as well never have
happened at all...
{37823}{37897}...because this circle's about as far|as it's ever gonna go.
{37898}{38016}In other words, forget everything.
{38017}{38082}Doug, I'm serious. I got a wife and kid.
{38083}{38177}Okay, good or bad, we don't remember|so we got nothing to talk about.
{38178}{38257}Nothing, guys. Nothing.
{38258}{38299}Deal?
{38300}{38356}- Deal.|Deal.
{38357}{38457}- Perfect. Alan, come here, buddy.|Get in here, crazy.
{38458}{38602}All right, to a night|we'll never remember...
{38603}{38747}...but the four of us|will never forget.
{38786}{38821}There it is.|Hear, hear.
{38822}{38913}Hey, thanks, guys.
{42343}{42373}Hm.
{42374}{42453}Stupid tiger.
{42587}{42656}What the fuck?
{42657}{42729}Control yourself, man.|Goddamn, will you put on some pants?
{42730}{42803}- Phil, do not go in the bathroom.|- Al, just calm down. It's me.
{42804}{42865}Phil, there is a tiger in the bathroom.
{42866}{42933}- What's going on?|- There's a jungle cat in the bathroom!
{42934}{42997}- Okay, okay, Al. Al, I'll check it out.|Don't go in.
{42998}{43109}Don't go in, don't go in.|Be careful. Don't, don't.
{43110}{43176}- Oh! Holy fuck! He's not kidding.|See? See?
{43177}{43236}- There's a tiger in there.|- No, there isn't.
{43237}{43272}Yeah!
{43273}{43360}- It's big. Gigantic.|- You okay, buddy?
{43361}{43425}No. I am in so much pain right now.
{43426}{43511}Goddamn. Look at this place.
{43512}{43540}Whew.
{43541}{43648}I know. Phil, they have my credit card|downstairs. I am so screwed.
{43649}{43716}How does a tiger get in the bathroom?|It almost killed me.
{43717}{43765}Hey, bro?|You mind putting on some pants?
{43766}{43818}I find it a little weird|I have to ask twice.
{43819}{43910}Pants at a time like this?|I don't have any p...
{43911}{43967}What the fuck happened last night?
{43968}{44056}Hey, Phil, am I missing a tooth?
{44057}{44153}I can't... Oh, shit.
{44186}{44250}Oh, my God.
{44251}{44301}My lateral incisor's... It's gone!
{44302}{44407}It's okay. Okay, okay. Just calm down.|We're fine. Everything's fine.
{44408}{44441}Alan, go wake up Doug.
{44442}{44537}Let's get some coffee and get the fuck|out of Nevada before
housekeeping shows.
{44538}{44627}What am I gonna tell Melissa? I lost a tooth.|I have no idea how it
happened.
{44628}{44662}You're freaking me out, man.
{44663}{44725}I got a massive headache, okay?|Let's just calm down.
{44726}{44798}How am I supposed to calm down?|Look around you.
{44799}{44872}- Hey, guys, he's not in there.|- Did you check all the rooms?
{44873}{44940}Yeah, I looked everywhere.|Plus, his mattress is gone.
{44941}{45002}He probably went to the pool|to get something to eat.
{45003}{45070}I'll just call his cell.
{45071}{45191}I look like a nerdy hillbilly.
{45449}{45495}- Hello?|- Alan.
{45496}{45548}Hey.
{45549}{45625}- It's Phil.|- Oh, hey, Phi...
{45626}{45677}This is Doug's phone.|This is Doug's phone.
{45678}{45764}No shit.|- Yeah.
{45815}{45916}What the fuck is that?
{46030}{46072}Whose fucking baby is that?
{46073}{46141}Alan, are you sure you didn't see|anyone else in the suite?
{46142}{46194}Yeah, I checked all the rooms.|No one's here.
{46195}{46253}Check its collar or something.
{46254}{46302}Shh. Shh.
{46303}{46369}- It's okay, baby.|- Stu, we don't have time for this.
{46370}{46437}Let's go hook up with Doug,|we'll deal with the baby later.
{46438}{46493}Phil, we're not gonna leave a baby|in the room.
{46494}{46565}- There's a fucking tiger in the bathroom.|- It's not our baby.
{46566}{46615}Yeah, I gotta side with Stu on this one.
{46616}{46669}All right, fine.|Okay, we'll take it with us.
{46670}{46814}Could you at least just find some pants?
{46901}{46995}Why can't we remember a goddamn thing|from last night?
{46996}{47095}Because we obviously|had a great fucking time.
{47096}{47177}Why don't you just stop worrying|for one minute?
{47178}{47213}Be proud of yourself.
{47214}{47317}I don't know, Phil.|Maybe it's because I'm missing a tooth.
{47318}{47444}Or maybe it's because|there's a tiger in our hotel room...
{47445}{47557}...which, incidentally,|is completely destroyed.
{47558}{47620}Oh, no, no. Wait, wait, wait, I know.
{47621}{47737}Maybe it's because we found a baby,|a human baby.
{47738}{47782}That's it. That's it.
{47783}{47899}It's because we found a fucking baby.
{47900}{48145}- You shouldn't curse around the child.|- Really? You shouldn't be
around a child.
{48146}{48261}Oh, how cute. What's his name?
{48262}{48348}- Ben.|- Carlos.
{48358}{48423}Carlos?
{48647}{48719}Thank you.
{48806}{48892}Hey, Phil, look.
{48950}{49001}He's jacking his little weenis.
{49002}{49189}- Pull yourself together, man.|- Not at the table, Carlos.
{49197}{49230}I looked everywhere.
{49231}{49312}Gym, casino, front desk.|Nobody's seen Doug. He's not here.
{49313}{49351}He's fine. He's a grown man.
{49352}{49541}Seriously, Stu, you gotta calm down.|Here, have some juice.
{49544}{49579}I can't have juice right now.
{49580}{49677}Okay. All right.|Let's just track this thing.
{49678}{49737}What's the last thing|we remember doing last night?
{49738}{49793}Well, the first thing was|we were on the roof...
{49794}{49892}...and were having|those shots of Jäger.
{49893}{49944}And then we ate dinner|at The Palm. Right?
{49945}{49973}That's right.
{49974}{50065}And then we played craps at|the Hard Rock, and I think Doug was
there.
{50066}{50123}That sounds right.|No, no. He definitely was.
{50124}{50195}You know what, guys?|I don't even remember going to dinner.
{50196}{50267}What the fuck?|I don't think I've ever been this hung-over.
{50268}{50367}After the Hard Rock, I blacked out.|It was like emptiness.
{50368}{50416}Okay. We have up until 10 p. M...
{50417}{50498}...so that gives us a 12-hour window|where we could have lost him.
{50499}{50598}What is this?|- Oh, my God. That is my tooth.
{50599}{50675}Why do you have that?|What else is in your pockets?
{50676}{50753}This is a good thing. No.|Check your pockets. Check your pockets.
{50754}{50793}Do you have anything?
{50794}{50871}I have an ATM receipt|from the Bellagio.
{50872}{51016}Eleven-oh-five for $800!|I am so fucked.
{51029}{51133}I have a valet ticket from Caesars.|Looks like we got in at 5:15 a.
m.
{51134}{51214}Oh, shit. We drove last night?
{51215}{51318}Driving drunk. Classic.
{51340}{51411}What's on your arm?
{51412}{51455}- What the fuck is that?|- Jesus, Phil.
{51456}{51528}- You were in the hospital last night.|- I guess so, yeah.
{51529}{51589}- You okay?|- Yeah, Alan. I'm fine.
{51590}{51637}What the hell is going on?
{51638}{51704}Well, Stu, Stu, this is a good thing.|We have a lead now.
{51705}{51803}Hey, Stu, watch this.
{51842}{51979}- You ever seen a baby do that?|- Dude, Alan, not cool.
{51980}{52100}So, uh, are you sure you're qualified|to be taking care of that baby?
{52101}{52149}What? I've found a baby before.
{52150}{52208}- You found a baby before?|- Yeah.
{52209}{52285}- Where?|- Coffee Bean.
{52286}{52322}Wait, what?
{52323}{52401}Hey, Phil? I don't think Doug|would want us to take the Mercedes.
{52402}{52431}Relax, we'll be careful.
{52432}{52497}My dad is crazy about that car.|He left Doug in charge...
{52498}{52555}Alan. We got bigger problems here.
{52556}{52636}Doug could be in the hospital,|he could be hurt.
{52637}{52813}- Let's worry about the car later.|- Uh, guys? Check it out.
{52814}{52863}All right, grab it from the other side.
{52864}{52924}Is that the mattress from Doug's room?
{52925}{52999}What the fuck?
{53000}{53057}Hey, man, what's going on here?
{53058}{53141}Some asshole threw his bed|out the window last night.
{53142}{53201}- No shit.|- Yeah.
{53202}{53286}Some guys just can't handle Vegas.
{53287}{53337}Ha-ha.
{53338}{53389}Oh, God.
{53390}{53443}It's gonna be okay, Stu.
{53444}{53569}How the hell did we manage that?
{53598}{53679}- Here's your car, officers.|- Oh, God.
{53680}{53752}All right, everybody act cool.|All right, don't say a word.
{53753}{53881}Come on, let's just get in and go.|Come on.
{53882}{53962}- Stu, you got a five?|No.
{53963}{54025}I'll hit you on the way back.|Thank you, sir.
{54026}{54117}Oh, my God.|Oh, my God.
{54118}{54177}You just nailed the baby.
{54178}{54220}Are my glasses okay?
{54221}{54336}Your glasses are fine, dick.
{54424}{54483}This is so illegal.
{54484}{54558}Can't you see the fun part in anything?
{54559}{54621}Yeah, we're stuck in traffic|in a stolen police car...
{54622}{54673}...with a missing child|in the back seat.
{54674}{54728}Which part of this is fun?
{54729}{54833}- I think the cop-car part's pretty cool.|- Thank you, Alan. It is
cool.
{54834}{54899}Doug would love it.
{54900}{54967}Come on.
{55006}{55073}- Check this out.|Oh, no. No, Phil. No, Phil.
{55074}{55101}Don't do this!
{55102}{55161}Take it easy.|- Just try to call more attention to us.
{55162}{55197}Attention.|- Sorry.
{55198}{55248}Attention, please. Move out of the way.
{55249}{55338}I repeat, please disperse.
{55339}{55432}Phil, stop the car, I wanna get out.|Stop the car, I wanna get out.
Pull over.
{55433}{55560}Ma'am, in the leopard dress,|you have an amazing rack.
{55561}{55620}Get off the sidewalk!|Get off the sidewalk!
{55621}{55748}I should have been a fucking cop.
{55818}{55853}Look, I already told you.
{55854}{55933}You came in with a mild concussion,|some bruised ribs. No big deal.
{55934}{55997}Although none of you could articulate|how it happened.
{55998}{56060}Do you remember how many of us|were here?
{56061}{56095}Ah...
{56096}{56185}I don't know. I think it was just you guys.|Definitely no baby.
{56186}{56276}- And one other guy.|- That's our guy. Was he okay?
{56277}{56377}Yeah. He was fine.|Just whacked out of his mind. You all were.
{56378}{56469}All right, come forward.|And turn.
{56470}{56517}All right.
{56518}{56607}There you go. And cough.
{56608}{56719}Cough. Cough. Give me one more.
{56720}{56800}All right. Thattaboy.
{56801}{56847}Okay, Felix, you can put your robe on.
{56848}{56902}And the nurse will be in here|in a minute.
{56903}{56957}I'll see you after the weekend.
{56958}{57083}Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, doctor.
{57084}{57183}Guys, I really gotta go. I'm sorry.|I have a surgery up on the fourth
floor.
{57184}{57324}No, I know. But we just need|a couple more minutes of your time.
{57325}{57431}Yeah. Tuck it right in there.|I don't want to re-sterilize.
{57432}{57511}Walk with me.
{57527}{57658}Okay, here we go. Patient name,|Phil Wenneck, 2:45 a. m. Arrival.
{57659}{57731}Minor concussion, like I said.|Some bruising. Pretty standard.
{57732}{57785}Do you mind if I look?|I'm actually a doctor.
{57786}{57910}Yeah, you said that several times last night.|But really, you're just
a dentist.
{57911}{58020}Okay, this is interesting.|Your blood work came in this morning.
{58021}{58079}Wow.
{58084}{58169}They found a large amount of Ruphylin|in your system.
{58170}{58259}Ruphylin. Roofies.|Commonly known as the date-rape drug.
{58260}{58344}What, so, what are you saying,|I was raped last night?
{58345}{58419}Actually...
{58478}{58560}I don't think so.|But someone did slip you the drug.
{58561}{58629}I'm not surprised|you don't remember anything.
{58630}{58734}Doc, none of us can remember anything|from last night. Remember?
{58735}{58795}Yeah. How could someone|have drugged all of us?
{58796}{58828}I wouldn't worry about it.
{58829}{58897}The stuff's out of your system.|You're gonna be fine.
{58898}{58966}Wait, wait, wait. Please, doctor.|Is there anything else?
{58967}{59074}Like, something we may have been talking|about, or some place we were
going?
{59075}{59121}Actually, there was something.
{59122}{59183}You guys kept talking about some wedding|last night.
{59184}{59250}Yeah. No shit. Our buddy Doug's|getting married tomorrow.
{59251}{59310}- You know what? I want the 100 back.|- No, no. Easy.
{59311}{59375}You kept talking about some wedding|you just came from.
{59376}{59411}At the, uh, Best Little Chapel.
{59412}{59498}You kept saying how sick the wedding was|and getting all crazy about
it.
{59499}{59555}Okay, I hope this helps.|I really have to leave.
{59556}{59616}Best Little Chapel,|do you know where that is?
{59617}{59756}I do. It's at the corner of Get A Map|and Fuck Off.
{59757}{59805}I'm a doctor, not a tour guide.
{59806}{59964}Figure it out yourself, okay?|You're big boys.
{60173}{60201}What about the baby?
{60202}{60259}Leave him in the car.|We're gonna be five minutes.
{60260}{60307}Whoa, we're not leaving|a baby in the car.
{60308}{60442}He'll be fine. I cracked the window.
{60468}{60585}- What if they don't remember us?|- Well, let's just find out.
{60586}{60681}I'm sor... Excuse me, sir? Hi.
{60682}{60717}Look at these guys.
{60718}{60795}What happened? You miss me?|You miss Eddie? You want more from me?
{60796}{60879}How are you, my friend?|Look at this guy. You're fucking crazy.
{60880}{60916}What's going on, man?
{60917}{61001}Listen, I'm gonna tell you something.|I know some sick people in my
life.
{61002}{61117}This guy is the craziest, wildest bastard|I ever met in my life, man.
{61118}{61165}- This guy?|- This guy is out of his mind.
{61166}{61229}What's going on,|you fucking crazy motherfucker?
{61230}{61284}I thought he was gonna eat my dick.
{61285}{61349}What happened?|No love for Eddie? You don't hug me?
{61350}{61403}No, no. It's not that, Eddie.
{61404}{61513}Uh, it's just that we're having a hard time|remembering what happened
here last night.
{61514}{61618}Yeah, was there a wedding here?|Do you do weddings here?
{61619}{61661}You are cracking my balls, man.
{61662}{61741}I love these guys.|Zolea, what are you doing?
{61742}{61806}Bring my friends some tea,|some baklava, huh? Come on.
{61807}{61901}Unbelievable, man. Look at this chick.|Beautiful ass, no fucking
brain.
{61902}{61983}But this is Vegas. You want intimacy,|forget it. You're gonna get
sex.
{61984}{62043}That's it here, man.|No problem for me, though.
{62044}{62101}You want chicks?|I can get you beautiful chicks...
{62102}{62149}...from the Eastern Bloc. No questions.
{62150}{62233}Clean, tight.|The tits like that, the nipple like that.
{62234}{62301}Obviously we were here.|We're looking for our friend Doug.
{62302}{62365}- Do you remember?|- Yeah, the small guy. Like a monkey.
{62366}{62397}- Yeah.|- You saw him?
{62398}{62425}Of course.
{62426}{62554}Is there anything you can tell us about|what may have happened last
night?
{62555}{62668}You don't remember nothing?
{62685}{62813}- Congratulations, Stu, you got married.|- This... This can't be
happening.
{62814}{62919}- Oh, God.|Look at that.
{62958}{63056}I'll tell you one thing,|you look seriously happy here, man.
{63057}{63105}That's it. My life is over.
{63106}{63151}Stu, it's okay. Look, shit happens.
{63152}{63215}Come on. Melissa's not gonna know|anything about this.
{63216}{63293}- This never happened. I'll take care of it.|- Come on. Put it here.
{63294}{63321}Hey, what's all that?
{63322}{63421}The High Roller package.|It's what you ordered. I have coffee mugs.
{63422}{63477}- What?|You have baseball caps, huh?
{63478}{63563}And fancy calendars, all with pictures|of Stu and Jade.
{63564}{63593}Her name's Jade?
{63594}{63675}Yeah, and she's beautiful, man.|Clean, very tight. Tits like that.
{63676}{63745}- But that's because she had a baby.|That explains the baby.
{63746}{63801}- Oh, Carlos. Carlos.|- Great. All right.
{63802}{63856}Uh, here's the deal.|We made a mistake last night.
{63857}{63914}We need this marriage annulled.|You do annulments?
{63915}{63984}Of course I do. It breaks my heart|and gonna make me sad...
{63985}{64035}...but it's no problem.|Good price for you.
{64036}{64128}I can't do it with just him, though.|I need the chick. I need both
parties.
{64129}{64193}Oh, not a problem. That's great.|Isn't that great, Stu?
{64194}{64253}Come on, buddy.|She probably knows where Doug is.
{64254}{64337}- Awesome.|- All right, all right. Okay. Uh...
{64338}{64409}We need her address.|She filled out some paperwork, right?
{64410}{64437}Of course.
{64438}{64533}Hey. Excuse me. What is the matter|with you? Go and get the
paperwork, man.
{64534}{64605}- I spend my life waiting for you. Come on.|- Okay. I'm going.
{64606}{64721}And get the baklava, please.
{64758}{64862}- Hey, Phil, what about my dad's car?|- I'm sure Doug has it. We'll
get it back.
{64863}{64963}Then I vote we torch the cop car|and all this shit with it.
{64964}{65061}- Torch it? Who are you?|- I don't know, Phil.
{65062}{65129}Apparently I'm a guy who marries|complete strangers.
{65130}{65249}This whole situation|is completely fucked.
{65250}{65337}- These mugs. This hat. This car.|- Hey!
{65338}{65413}It's all evidence|of a night that never happened.
{65414}{65469}That is why we're torching all of it.
{65470}{65531}Whoa, I'm a schoolteacher,|I got a family, okay?
{65532}{65599}I'm all for secrecy,|but I'm not gonna torch a cop car.
{65600}{65646}- Fine. I'll do it.|- Can I help?
{65647}{65713}- Yeah, thanks.|- And how exactly are you gonna do that?
{65714}{65803}Easy. You just pour kerosene over a ferret,|light it on both ends,
put it in.
{65804}{65847}They're attracted to the gas lines.
{65848}{65884}- What? A ferret?|- Yeah. Yeah.
{65885}{65949}Or a tamed raccoon,|but it's a lot of trouble.
{65950}{66005}If you wanna...|- Does it matter if it's tamed?
{66006}{66118}Yeah, because if it's untamed,|it won't take the kerosene as well.
{66119}{66161}Is it Doug?|- I don't have it.
{66162}{66201}It's Doug, it's Doug.
{66202}{66236}Uh, it's Melissa.
{66237}{66300}- Don't answer.|- I have to. She's called twice already!
{66301}{66332}- Can I ride shotgun?|Don't touch me.
{66333}{66384}Hey, sweetheart, how are you?
{66385}{66465}There you are.|This is the third time I'm trying you.
{66466}{66541}I know. The reception up here's crazy.
{66542}{66611}I think it's all the sequoia trees,|block the signal.
{66612}{66685}Ugh, I hate that.|So how was it last night?
{66686}{66767}Ah, it was really fun, actually.|It was quiet, but it was a good
time.
{66768}{66826}That sounds nice.
{66827}{66930}- I'm learning all kinds of vino factoids.|- Hi.
{66931}{66997}It'd be so cool if I could breast-feed,|you know?
{66998}{67054}Well, listen...
{67055}{67121}...we're about to go for a tractor ride.|What the fuck?
{67122}{67237}I should get going. So pretty.|A tractor ride?
{67238}{67286}- Go, out of the car!|- What was that?
{67287}{67347}They started up the tractor.|I think it backfired.
{67348}{67403}- Where the hell is he?|Hey, easy, easy.
{67404}{67487}I think we're looking for|the same guy, okay?
{67488}{67549}Hey! What the hell, man?
{67550}{67613}What the fuck, Stu?|Is that a baby?
{67614}{67688}Why would there be a baby?|We're at a winery. That's a goat.
{67689}{67763}- Where is he?|- I don't know! What are you talking about?
{67764}{67839}Sir, can you please start the tractor|so we can get out of here?
{67840}{67889}I'm trying to, but|we're fucking blocked.
{67890}{67955}Oh, my God!|What the hell is happening, Stu?
{67956}{68039}- Hey! There's a baby on board!|- Someone just said "baby. "
{68040}{68093}- Get out of the car!|- It's a baby goat.
{68094}{68148}Why you making trouble|for my business, man?
{68149}{68197}- Go away from here.|- Get out of the car!
{68198}{68252}- Phil, he's got a gun!|- No shit he's got a gun!
{68253}{68351}- I gotta call you back. Bye.|- Come on.
{68352}{68393}Fuck! Shit.|He shot me!
{68394}{68523}- He shot Eddie!|- Fuck this shit!
{68530}{68586}Fuck! Fuck!
{68587}{68661}Go, go, go!
{68705}{68733}Fuck.
{68734}{68814}Okay. Oh, that was some sick shit!
{68815}{68843}Who were those guys?
{68844}{68897}We're gonna be okay.|Everything's gonna be okay.
{68898}{68968}What the fuck is going on?!
{68969}{69053}I have no idea.
{69158}{69211}Why don't you just let that|go to voicemail?
{69212}{69271}Ha-ha-ha.
{69272}{69397}That's a fake laugh, by the way.
{69402}{69514}It's got, uh, Ted Danson and Magnum|P. I. And that Jewish actor.
{69515}{69557}Shut up, Alan.
{69558}{69619}- What room was it again?|- It's 825.
{69620}{69681}I know, I did. I already|checked with her.
{69682}{69790}I found him, I'll call you back.|Thank God, he's with his father.
{69791}{69889}I was freaking out. I|missed you, sweetie.
{69890}{69974}And I miss you.
{70037}{70081}No.
{70082}{70177}- What the hell happened to you guys?|- Actually, we were hoping you
could tell us.
{70178}{70251}What do you mean? I got up this morning,|I went to get coffee...
{70252}{70341}...and I came back and you were gone.
{70342}{70441}- Why are you being so quiet?|- I'm not being quiet.
{70442}{70488}Ha, ha. You're so cute.
{70489}{70605}Yeah, I gotta feed Tyler.|Come inside, you guys.
{70606}{70671}Did you hear that? Baby's name is Tyler.
{70672}{70833}Yeah. I thought he looked|more like a Carlos too, bud.
{70834}{70921}Okay, what's up?|You guys are acting weird.
{70922}{71003}- Look, it's Jade, right?|- Very funny, Phil.
{71004}{71091}Right, Jade, uh, ahem,|you remember our friend, Doug.
{71092}{71139}Are you kidding? He was the best man.
{71140}{71209}Exactly. Well, we can't find him,|and we're getting worried.
{71210}{71285}Oh, my God, that is so Doug.
{71286}{71360}Ha, ha. Oh.
{71368}{71423}Oh, sweetie, I'm...|I'm gonna go clean him off.
{71424}{71475}It's all right, Daddy didn't mean it.
{71476}{71510}Oh, my God.
{71511}{71565}What the fuck, man,|you gotta hold it together.
{71566}{71609}- Holy shit.|- She is super hot.
{71610}{71692}- You should be proud of yourself.|- She's wearing my grandmother's
ring!
{71693}{71743}- What?|- The ring I'm gonna give to Melissa.
{71744}{71795}You remember,|my grandmother's Holocaust ring?
{71796}{71849}- Fuck. Okay.|- She's wearing it.
{71850}{71941}I didn't know they gave out rings|at the Holocaust.
{71942}{71994}- He's okay.|Oh, good.
{71995}{72045}He was just hungry, he's fine.|- Oh, good.
{72046}{72152}About last night, uh, ahem, do you|remember the last time you saw
Doug?
{72153}{72242}- Uh, I haven't seen him since the wedding.|- The wedding. Okay.
Great.
{72243}{72325}And, uh, we can't re...|What time was that at?
{72326}{72420}Well, it was, um...
{72434}{72523}I guess it was around 1, because I had|to go back to work and finish
my shift.
{72524}{72597}And then when I got out I headed over|to the hotel with Tyler.
{72598}{72633}And was Doug there then?
{72634}{72718}I didn't see Doug because you guys|were passed out. The room was a
wreck.
{72719}{72773}- So I just curled up next to Stu.|Uh-huh.
{72774}{72853}- Rowr.|- Oh.
{72867}{72939}I got a question.|Um, you said when your shift ended.
{72940}{73057}Does that mean you're a nurse?|Or a blackjack dealer?
{73058}{73125}- You know this. I'm a stripper.|- Mm-hm.
{73126}{73219}Well, technically I'm an escort, but|stripping's a great way to meet
the clients.
{73220}{73273}- Smart.|- Savvy.
{73274}{73366}But that's all in the past,|now that I married a doctor.
{73367}{73441}I'm just a dentist.
{73442}{73508}- Las Vegas Police! Freeze!|- Okay.
{73509}{73547}Shut that baby up! Shut that baby up!
{73548}{73658}Oh, God!|Okay, okay, okay.
{73750}{73813}After we take the mug shots,|we bring them down here...
{73814}{73903}...where they wait to be interviewed|by the arresting officers.
{73904}{73988}Trust me, kids, you do not wanna be sitting|on these benches.
{73989}{74085}We call this place Loserville.
{74086}{74237}Follow me. All right,|let's do it. Come on.
{74285}{74317}Hello.
{74318}{74396}- Hey, Tracy! It's Phil.|Hey, Phil.
{74397}{74501}- Where are you guys?|- We are at the spa at the hotel.
{74502}{74575}Cool. We're just getting some sun.|Is Doug around?
{74576}{74620}Of course. Why wouldn't he be?
{74621}{74677}I'm just wondering|why you're calling me.
{74678}{74717}Um...
{74718}{74800}We made a deal,|no talking to girlfriends or wives.
{74801}{74885}So we're all calling each other's.
{74886}{74924}Okay. What's up?
{74925}{75025}Uh, you are not gonna believe this.|We got comped an extra night at
the hotel.
{75026}{75053}You did?
{75054}{75124}Yeah. The suite is... It's ridiculous.|It's out of control.
{75125}{75223}There's, like, room service and a butler.|I mean, just the works.
{75224}{75272}We're thinking of spending the night...
{75273}{75329}...and we're gonna come back|in the morning.
{75330}{75413}You wanna stay an extra night?|But the wedding's tomorrow.
{75414}{75501}That's why we're gonna get up early,|and we'll be back in plenty of
time.
{75502}{75560}Okay. Are you sure that's a good idea?
{75561}{75629}Wenneck, Price, Garner. Room 3.
{75630}{75687}Okay, Trace, I gotta go.|We'll talk to you later.
{75688}{75748}Uh...
{75769}{75857}- Come on, chop-chop.|- Okay, spin around.
{75858}{75887}- That's it.|- Goddamn it.
{75888}{75949}- Wait a second.|- I'll go over. I'll go over.
{75950}{75999}Stop pulling.|Can you just...? Hold on.
{76000}{76069}We got it. Alan, just relax.|And then just... There we go.
{76070}{76130}Good.
{76247}{76290}Gentlemen.
{76291}{76364}We've got some good news,|and we've got some bad news.
{76365}{76441}The good news is|we found your Mercedes.
{76442}{76483}- That's great news.|- That's great. See?
{76484}{76593}Yeah, it's over at impound right now.|We picked it up at 5 a. m. This
morning...
{76594}{76661}...parked in the middle|of Las Vegas Boulevard.
{76662}{76767}In the middle. That's weird.|- Yeah, that is weird.
{76768}{76813}There was also a note.
{76814}{76958}It says, uh, "Couldn't find a meter,|but here's 4 bucks. "
{76959}{77013}The bad news is...
{77014}{77101}...we can't get you in front of a judge|until Monday morning.
{77102}{77189}Oh, no, uh, officer,|that's just impossible.
{77190}{77248}No, we need to be in L. A. Tomorrow|for a wedding.
{77249}{77370}- You stole a police car.|- We didn't steal anything. Um, we found
it.
{77371}{77464}Yeah, if anything, we deserve a reward|or something, like a trophy.
{77465}{77545}- I see assholes like you every day.|- Every fucking day.
{77546}{77594}"Let's go to Vegas,|we'll all get drunk and laid!
{77595}{77649}- Yeah. Whoo! Woo-hoo.|- Woo-hoo.
{77650}{77725}Let's steal a cop car,|because it'd be really fucking funny. "
{77726}{77783}Think you gonna get away with it?|Not up in here.
{77784}{77837}- Not up in here!|- Oh.
{77838}{77898}Uh...
{77909}{77952}Sir...
{77953}{77989}...if I may, um...
{77990}{78057}...I'm assuming that that squad car|belongs to one of you.
{78058}{78102}- Yeah.|Yeah.
{78103}{78163}Look, I'm not a cop.
{78164}{78261}I'm no hero. I'm a schoolteacher.
{78262}{78363}But if one of my kids went missing|on a field trip...
{78364}{78434}...that would look really bad on me.
{78435}{78508}- What are you getting at?|- Yeah, Phil, what are you getting at?
{78509}{78593}No one wants to look bad.|We gotta get to a wedding...
{78594}{78651}...and you guys don't need people|talking about...
{78652}{78752}...how some obnoxious tourists borrowed|your squad car last night.
{78753}{78826}But look, the point is,|I think we can work out a deal.
{78827}{78896}Discreetly of course, ma'am.
{78897}{78983}What do you say?
{79152}{79187}Let me ask you a question:
{79188}{79327}Do, uh, any of you gentlemen|have a heart condition or anything like
that?
{79328}{79385}Uh, no.
{79386}{79451}Okay, kids,|you're in for a real treat today.
{79452}{79525}These gentlemen have kindly volunteered|to demonstrate...
{79526}{79595}...how a stun gun is used|to subdue a suspect.
{79596}{79625}Ooh!
{79626}{79664}- That's right.|- Wait a sec. What?
{79665}{79807}Now, there's two ways to use a stun gun.|Up close and personal.
{79808}{79883}- What the fuck?|- Or you can shoot it from a distance.
{79884}{79967}Do I have any volunteers? You wanna|come up here and do some
shooting? Huh?
{79968}{80051}All right, how about you, young lady?|Come on up here. All right.
{80052}{80098}Let's go, handsome, come on.
{80099}{80181}Not you, fat Jesus, slide it on back.|You, pretty boy.
{80182}{80235}Fat Jesus.|All right, now, it's real simple.
{80236}{80305}All you gotta do is|point, aim and shoot.
{80306}{80343}All right?
{80344}{80421}Okay, look.|You don't really wanna do this.
{80422}{80480}You can do this. Just focus.
{80481}{80544}Don't listen to this maniac.|Let's think this through.
{80545}{80580}Finish him!
{80581}{80665}Oh, fuck.|Yeah!
{80679}{80768}Right in the nuts! That was beautiful.
{80769}{80889}- Well done. Give her a hand, everybody.|- Good job. Good job.
{80890}{80973}Good job. Well done. Good job.|That was great.
{80974}{81112}Good. Hey, we got one more charge left.|Anybody wanna do some
shooting up here?
{81113}{81257}How about you, big man?|Come on up here.
{81566}{81736}Okay, same instructions.|Just point, aim and shoot.
{81741}{81804}There you go. That's the stuff.
{81805}{81855}I like the intensity.
{81856}{81903}Eye of the tiger. Good.
{81904}{82085}You're holding 50,000 volts, little man.|Don't be afraid to ride the
lightning.
{82086}{82194}In the face! In the face!
{82201}{82272}Oh, he's still up. He's still up.
{82273}{82313}- Aah!|- No.
{82314}{82365}All right, everybody|relax, take it easy.
{82366}{82456}We've seen it before.|He just needs a little extra charge.
{82457}{82533}There we go.
{82534}{82602}Some of these big boys,|you gotta give them two shots.
{82603}{82724}All right, kids, who wants to get their|fingerprints done, huh? Come
on, let's go.
{82725}{82802}Fuck those guys, you hear me?
{82803}{82880}That was bullshit.|I'm telling everybody we stole a cop car.
{82881}{82953}- They let us go, who cares?|- I care!
{82954}{83074}You can't just do that. You can't just|tase people because you think
it's funny.
{83075}{83180}That's police brutality.
{83210}{83273}I'm getting a soda.|Do you guys want anything?
{83274}{83329}No.
{83392}{83517}My man doesn't shut up. Jesus Christ.
{83518}{83602}Alan, you okay?
{83603}{83670}I'm just worried.
{83671}{83729}What if something happened to Doug?|Something bad.
{83730}{83782}Come on, you can't think like that.
{83783}{83830}I mean, what if he's dead?
{83831}{83934}I can't afford to lose anybody|close to me again. It hurts too much.
{83935}{84029}- I was so upset when my grandpa died.|- Oh, I'm s... How'd he die?
{84030}{84100}- World War II.|- Died in battle?
{84101}{84200}No, he was skiing in Vermont.|It was just during World War II.
{84201}{84249}Alan...
{84250}{84305}...Doug is fine.|- Well, why hasn't he called?
{84306}{84378}I don't know,|but we're gonna figure it out.
{84379}{84479}I'll tell you another thing,|6-1 odds our car is beat to shit.
{84480}{84508}Stu, not now.
{84509}{84580}No, how much do you wanna bet|it's fucked beyond recognition?
{84581}{84765}That's enough. Alan's seriously worried,|okay? Let's not freak him
out any more.
{84766}{84802}Sorry, Alan.
{84803}{84836}You know what?
{84837}{84965}We'll search the car for clues|and everything's gonna be okay.
{84966}{85057}Oh, shit. I can't watch.|Just tell me what it looks like.
{85058}{85152}Not looking. Not looking.
{85153}{85229}- Wow. All right.|Oh, thank God.
{85230}{85284}You see?
{85285}{85390}It's gonna be all right.
{85486}{85548}- Anything?|Hmm, I got a cigar.
{85549}{85623}Oh, I found, uh...|These are some black shoes.
{85624}{85705}- They women's shoes?|- I don't know.
{85706}{85787}- Whose are those?|- I don't know. It's a men's size 6.
{85788}{85853}- That's weird.|- What is this, a snakeskin?
{85854}{85893}Oh, come on! Ew!
{85894}{85960}- That's a used condom, Alan.|- Oh, God. Blech!
{85961}{86015}- Get it out of the car.|Gross, it's wet.
{86016}{86076}- I don't want the thing.|- Hey! Come on.
{86077}{86180}I got jizz on me. Jesus Christ, guys!
{86181}{86254}Get it out.|Fuck!
{86255}{86309}Oh, my God.
{86310}{86464}All right, what the fuck, man?|We gotta get this shit together, guys!
{86465}{86512}What was that?
{86513}{86557}It's in the trunk.
{86558}{86635}- Doug's in the trunk.|Oh, fuck! Holy shit!
{86636}{86684}Holy shit!
{86685}{86739}- Open it! Open it! Open it!|Okay, okay, okay.
{86740}{86820}Okay, okay, okay.
{86821}{86886}Oh God!
{86894}{87009}Please! Please! Please stop!
{87133}{87197}Whoa. I'm with you, I'm with you!
{87198}{87271}- You gonna fuck on me?|- Nobody's gonna fuck on you!
{87272}{87380}We're on your side. I hate Godzilla!|I hate him too. I hate him!
{87381}{87455}He destroys cities! Please!
{87456}{87617}This isn't your fault.|I'll get you some pants.
{87656}{87753}What the fuck was that?
{87754}{87857}I have internal bleeding.|Somebody call 911.
{87858}{87928}That was some fucked up shit.
{87929}{88056}Who was that guy? He was so mean.
{88061}{88148}Guys, there's something|I need to tell you.
{88149}{88271}Last night on the roof,|before we went out...
{88272}{88357}...I slipped something|in our Jägermeister.
{88358}{88454}- What?|- I'm sorry, I fudged up, guys.
{88455}{88541}- You drugged us?|- No, I didn't drug you.
{88542}{88600}I was told it was ecstasy.
{88601}{88659}Well, who told you it was ecstasy?
{88660}{88712}The guy I bought it from|at the liquor store.
{88713}{88756}Why would you give us ecstasy?
{88757}{88844}I wanted everybody to have a good time|and I knew you guys wouldn't
take it.
{88845}{88939}It was just one hit each.|I used to do three hits a night.
{88940}{89023}But it wasn't ecstasy, Alan,|it was roofies!
{89024}{89070}You think I knew that, Stu?
{89071}{89144}The guy I bought it from|seemed like a real straight shooter.
{89145}{89219}You mean the drug dealer at the liquor store|wasn't a good guy?
{89220}{89248}Let's just calm down.
{89249}{89383}You fucking calm down! He drugged us.|I lost a tooth. I married a
whore.
{89384}{89482}- How dare you! She's a nice lady.|- You are such a fucking moron.
{89483}{89554}- Your language is offensive.|Fuck you!
{89555}{89631}All right,|let's just take a deep breath, okay?
{89632}{89670}Seriously, this is a good thing.
{89671}{89768}At least it's not some stranger who|drugged us for God knows what
reason.
{89769}{89862}Yeah, you're right, Phil,|it's totally a good thing.
{89863}{89922}We're so much better off now.
{89923}{90014}Here's something|I would like to remind you two of:
{90015}{90121}Our best friend Doug is probably|facedown in a ditch right now...
{90122}{90196}...with a meth-head butt-fucking|his corpse.
{90197}{90251}- That's highly unlikely.|- It's true.
{90252}{90344}Does not help.|All right, let's get our shit together, guys.
{90345}{90426}Let's go back to the hotel,|and I'm gonna make a couple calls.
{90427}{90478}Maybe Doug's back there.|Maybe he's asleep.
{90479}{90532}Come on. Let's go.
{90533}{90648}- Stu? Little help?|Shut up.
{90710}{90782}Ow.|- Oh, God. Oh, God, are you okay?
{90783}{90912}Yeah, I'm fine.|- Alan, I'm sorry.
{91094}{91145}Wait, guys. Guys.
{91146}{91194}What about the tiger?|What if he got out?
{91195}{91316}Oh, fuck. I keep forgetting|about the goddamn tiger.
{91317}{91363}How the fuck did he get in there?
{91364}{91490}- I don't know, because I don't remember.|- Shh. Stu. Stu, keep it
down.
{91491}{91608}Because one of the, uh, side effects of, uh,|roofies is memory loss.
{91609}{91690}You are literally too stupid to insult.
{91691}{91785}- Thank you.|- Hey.
{91861}{91940}Hey, come on.
{91985}{92042}Did we leave the music on?
{92043}{92113}Hey. Shh.
{92120}{92218}Don't make any sudden movements.
{92219}{92247}- Unh. Whoa!|- Aah!
{92248}{92294}- Who the hell are you?|- No, who are you?
{92295}{92374}Quiet, quiet.
{92411}{92448}Mike Tyson?
{92449}{92617}Shh. This is my favorite part|coming up right now.
{92749}{92857}Need a chorus line, guys.
{92985}{93068}One more time, guys.
{93069}{93127}Oh, Jesus!
{93128}{93176}Oh, fuck!
{93177}{93226}Why did you do that?
{93227}{93316}Mr. Tyson would like to know|why is his tiger in your bathroom.
{93317}{93376}Hold on,|that was completely unnecessary.
{93377}{93441}I'm a huge fan.|When you knocked out Holmes, that was...
{93442}{93496}Explain.
{93497}{93589}All right, look, we were drugged last night.|We have no memory of
what happened.
{93590}{93618}It's true.
{93619}{93705}We got in all kinds of trouble last night|and now we can't find our
friend.
{93706}{93780}If you wanna kill us,|go ahead because I don't care anymore.
{93781}{93832}- What are you talking about?|- I don't care.
{93833}{93894}Why the fuck|would you wanna steal his tiger?
{93895}{93971}We tend to do dumb shit|when we're fucked up.
{93972}{94064}- I don't believe these guys, man.|- Wait, how did you guys find us?
{94065}{94159}One of you dropped your jacket.|Found it in the tigers' cage this
morning.
{94160}{94195}That's Doug's.
{94196}{94275}Yeah, Doug.|His wallet and his room key is in there.
{94276}{94347}- No, that's our missing friend.|I don't give a fuck.
{94348}{94401}- Did you guys see him?|I was fast asleep.
{94402}{94476}Because if he was up, this|wouldn't have gone down so smoothly.
{94477}{94536}Maybe one of the tigers|ate his ass like Omar.
{94537}{94564}Respect.
{94565}{94595}Wha... What happened to Omar?
{94596}{94656}Oh, don't worry about Omar,|he's not with us no more.
{94657}{94714}Okay, I know this is asking a lot...
{94715}{94789}...but do you think we could|go to your house and look around...
{94790}{94834}...see if there's any clues?
{94835}{94939}Absolutely. How else you think|we're gonna get the tiger back anyway?
{94940}{95024}- Come on, champ.|- I'm sorry?
{95025}{95124}We're not gonna put it in the Bentley.|You brought it here, you bring
it back.
{95125}{95193}What you think, about 40 minutes?
{95194}{95319}Don't make me come back for him.
{95343}{95419}- That was Mike Tyson.|- Yeah, no shit that was Mike Tyson.
{95420}{95492}I'm just saying, he's still got it.
{95493}{95532}Alan.
{95533}{95561}Bud, are you okay?
{95562}{95599}Oh, my God.|- Shit!
{95600}{95634}Fuck, where'd he get him?
{95635}{95693}Hey.
{95786}{95848}This does not seem fair.
{95849}{95924}It's Rock, Paper, Scissors.|There's nothing more fair.
{95925}{96007}- Alan should do it.|- Alan took a punch from Mike Tyson.
{96008}{96060}Come on. For Doug.
{96061}{96142}Why are you peppering the steak?|You don't know if tigers like
pepper.
{96143}{96276}Tigers love pepper. They hate cinnamon.
{96277}{96347}Phil, just do it. You should do it.
{96348}{96430}I would, but you lost.|It wouldn't be right.
{96431}{96500}Okay, I jammed five roofies in there.
{96501}{96582}Just go in there and throw it in to him.
{96583}{96643}Fine.
{96649}{96778}Make sure he eats the whole thing.
{96825}{96864}Fuck.
{96865}{96935}Oh, fuck.
{96975}{97030}Hey, kitty.
{97031}{97130}Hey, sweetie, it's okay.|I got a little snack for you.
{97131}{97214}Real important that you eat this, okay?
{97215}{97328}Yeah, just have a little...
{97349}{97409}Shit!
{97438}{97486}What do we do now?
{97487}{97554}We wait.
{97763}{97842}What do tigers dream of
{97843}{97932}When they take a little tiger snooze?
{97933}{98013}Do they dream of mauling zebras
{98014}{98116}Or Halle Berry in her catwoman suit?
{98117}{98188}Don't you worry your pretty striped head
{98189}{98285}We're gonna get you back to Tyson|And your cozy tiger bed
{98286}{98365}And then we're gonna find|Our best friend Doug
{98366}{98456}And then we're gonna give him|A best-friend hug
{98457}{98498}Doug
{98499}{98545}Doug
{98546}{98657}Doug, Dougie, Dougie, Doug, Doug
{98658}{98824}But if he's been murdered|By crystal-meth tweakers
{98825}{98952}Well, then we're shit out of luck
{99028}{99153}By the way, we're all gonna die.
{99189}{99249}Wait.
{99313}{99344}Oh, God.|Watch it!
{99345}{99455}His nose. That's his nose.
{99544}{99640}Please don't stop. Please don't stop.
{99641}{99704}Please don't... Goddamn it.
{99705}{99798}I'm gonna beat you! Ha-ha-ha.
{99799}{99888}Oh... He won again.
{99889}{99995}- Hey, fellas. Rough night?|Mm-hm.
{99996}{100081}Sweetie, stay close to Mama.
{100082}{100144}- What's this?|- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
{100145}{100224}Take it easy, little man.|You don't wanna be touching that.
{100225}{100364}No, partner, that's not your property.
{100375}{100426}So, what do you guys got under there?
{100427}{100504}Just a whole bunch of|"mind your own business. "
{100505}{100567}Easy, Phil.|- He's correct. My fault.
{100568}{100616}- You okay?|- Aren't we riding an elevator?
{100617}{100688}Why, is this Jeopardy?|What the fuck is this bullshit?
{100689}{100797}- Please, with the language.|- Yes.
{100798}{100899}- I fully agree.|- Oh.
{101041}{101127}Hey, guys, when's the next|Halley's comet?
{101128}{101212}- Who cares, man?|- Do you know, Stu?
{101213}{101292}I don't think it's for, like,|another 60 years or something.
{101293}{101367}- But it's not tonight, right?|- No, I don't think so.
{101368}{101417}But you don't know for sure?
{101418}{101460}No.
{101461}{101526}I got this cousin who saw one.|He said it blew his mind.
{101527}{101600}I wanna make sure I never, ever miss out|on a Halley's Comet.
{101601}{101659}So if you guys|know if there's gonna be one...
{101660}{101730}Oh, fuck!
{102167}{102211}- Oh, my God!|Fuck it!
{102212}{102272}Stu! Stu, it got me! Stu!
{102273}{102390}You got clawed! You're bleeding!
{102391}{102434}- Oh.|I'm panicking.
{102435}{102485}- Aah!|Oh, my God.
{102486}{102611}Okay. Okay, okay. Wait, hold on.
{102765}{102828}- I can't do it.|Get your fucking hand back in there...
{102829}{102876}...and steer the car.|- I'm too nervous.
{102877}{102945}Alan. We need you, buddy.|This is your time to shine, okay?
{102946}{103004}Okay, yeah. Whew.
{103005}{103032}Daddy's gonna kill me.
{103033}{103076}- That's it.|That's good.
{103077}{103166}Keep it straight.
{103348}{103392}- You're late.|- Whatever, man.
{103393}{103439}We had to push it the last mile.
{103440}{103617}Come on in. Mike's got something|he wants to show you.
{103632}{103762}That thing's out of control, man.|Seriously, you gotta put it down.
{103763}{103836}When we got back,|we took a look at the security cameras.
{103837}{103899}Great.
{103922}{103979}This is how you walk.|This is how you walk.
{103980}{104064}- Oh, it's Doug.|- Oh, thank God he's alive.
{104065}{104143}That's our buddy.|That's who we've been missing.
{104144}{104177}We're all best friends.
{104178}{104244}Why don't you just pay attention?|I don't have all night.
{104245}{104310}Yeah, of course. Of course.
{104311}{104394}What are you doing?|Hey, guys. Check it out. Watch this.
{104395}{104484}That's me, I'm on TV.|I've never been on TV before.
{104485}{104514}What are you doing, man?
{104515}{104582}Really? Really, Alan?
{104583}{104656}You got a fire hose, man?
{104657}{104726}Yeah, I was, uh...
{104727}{104821}You're gonna overflow the pool, man.
{104822}{104900}- Maybe... Should I wait outside?|- I think that's a good idea,
Alan.
{104901}{104961}Yeah.
{104969}{105031}Don't touch anything out there, either.
{105032}{105170}You know what? He's not our good fr...|We don't know him that well.
{105171}{105246}Come on. Come on, come on.
{105247}{105299}By the way,|where you get that cop car from?
{105300}{105371}We, uh, stole it from|these dumb-ass cops.
{105372}{105432}Nice.
{105463}{105528}High five that one.
{105529}{105575}Yeah, that's nice.
{105576}{105614}You know, I just have to say...
{105615}{105702}...I have never seen a more beautiful,|elegant, just regal
creature.
{105703}{105766}Check it out. Stu. Stu.|Fuck this tiger.
{105767}{105881}Oh, my God. That's awful.|Oh, man.
{105882}{105969}Oh, shit.|- Who does shit like that, man?
{105970}{106074}Someone who has a lot of issues, obviously.|I'm a sick man.
{106075}{106149}Oh, my God.
{106152}{106197}That's all we got.
{106198}{106274}This was hugely helpful.
{106275}{106348}Really. Because now we know|that our buddy Doug...
{106349}{106429}...was with us at 3:30, totally alive.
{106430}{106559}Thanks again, champ. And, uh, again,|we are so sorry we stole your
tiger.
{106560}{106592}Don't worry about it, man.
{106593}{106712}Like you said, we all do dumb shit|when we're fucked up.
{106713}{106864}- I told you he'd get it.|- I did say that.
{106873}{106936}You know, everyone says|Mike Tyson is such a badass...
{106937}{107004}...but I think he's|kind of a sweetheart.
{107005}{107054}I think he's mean.
{107055}{107138}All right. I think it's officially time|we call Tracy.
{107139}{107236}Hallelujah. Finally, Phil says something|that makes sense.
{107237}{107311}We don't have much of a choice.|And maybe she's heard from Doug.
{107312}{107386}That's what I been|saying this whole time.
{107387}{107505}We just need to be completely honest.|We need to tell her
everything.
{107506}{107583}We don't have to tell her everything.|We can leave out the stuff...
{107584}{107640}...about me marrying a hooker.
{107641}{107706}Just stay focused on Doug.
{107707}{107788}- What am I gonna tell my dad?|- Alan, relax. It's just the inside.
{107789}{107974}Come on. I got a guy in L. A.|Who's great with interiors.
{108109}{108214}- Oh, Jesus!|Oh, my God.
{108281}{108413}- Are you guys okay?|What the fuck?
{108544}{108641}I know that guy.|That's the guy from the trunk.
{108642}{108736}Get out of the car. Please.
{108737}{108828}W... W... Wait.|Those are the guys that shot Eddie.
{108829}{108859}- Listen...|Let's go!
{108860}{108904}- Okay.|- Oh, no.
{108905}{108944}Easy, easy.|Come on.
{108945}{108986}Okay. All right.
{108987}{109046}- All right, all right.|Let's go.
{109047}{109131}Hey, relax. Ow. Ow. Ow!
{109132}{109184}- I have whiplash.|- Get this other fat boy.
{109185}{109223}Get the fat boy.
{109224}{109252}Hey, hey, hey.
{109253}{109336}All right, all right.|Hey, take it easy, take it easy!
{109337}{109459}I want my purse back, assholes.
{109472}{109547}- What? Your purse?|- That's not a purse, it's a satchel.
{109548}{109661}It's a purse. Okay?|And you steal from wrong guy.
{109662}{109730}Wait a second, wait a second.|We stole from you?
{109731}{109760}Okay, you know what?
{109761}{109845}We don't remember anything|that happened last night...
{109846}{109901}...so help us out a little here.
{109902}{110004}Well, apparently you guys met|at a craps table late last night.
{110005}{110064}You were on a heater,|and he played your hot streak.
{110065}{110152}- He ended up winning just under 80 grand.|- No shit? Eighty grand
is nice.
{110153}{110182}Okay, that's good.
{110183}{110264}He put the chips in his purse,|and then you guys took off with it.
{110265}{110309}That doesn't sound like us.
{110310}{110450}Mine had $80,000 inside.|And this one? Nothing.
{110451}{110500}Hey, there are Skittles in there.
{110501}{110590}Ow! Oh, not again.
{110591}{110653}Don't let the beard fool you.|He's a child.
{110654}{110704}It's funny because he's fat.
{110705}{110791}Now, look, this was obviously|a very simple misunderstanding.
{110792}{110862}Alan picked up the wrong purse,|it's no big deal.
{110863}{110958}Okay, if it's, "No big deal,"|why, when I come after you guys...
{110959}{111055}...he starts screaming like crazy and|throw me in trunk?
{111056}{111084}What, I did that?
{111085}{111218}Yeah, you said he was your lucky charm,|and you want to take him
home with you.
{111219}{111321}- Lucky charm.|- Oh, it's just funny.
{111322}{111379}Fuck you.
{111380}{111488}If you want to see your friend again,|you get me my 80 grand.
{111489}{111527}- What?|- Our friend?
{111528}{111620}- You have Doug?|You know about our friend?
{111621}{111690}- Doug!|- Doug!
{111691}{111776}- Doug's in the car! Doug's in the car!|- Doug, it's okay!
{111777}{111831}You chill out, goatee!
{111832}{111927}- Okay, okay. All right, fine, fine.|- What do you want?
{111928}{112000}Not so good now.|Quid pro quo, douche bag.
{112001}{112031}What?
{112032}{112100}Look, we're very sorry.|But this is an easy fix.
{112101}{112154}- Alan, where's his purse?|- I don't know.
{112155}{112219}- It's in the hotel room, right?|- Yeah, we can get it.
{112220}{112292}We can get you the...|We can even write you a check right now.
{112293}{112331}No chance. Cash only.
{112332}{112434}- There's a person in there.|Boring.
{112435}{112478}Take nap. Come on.
{112479}{112524}Wait. I'm sorry we're boring you!
{112525}{112612}Doug, it's okay.|- You kidnapped our friend! Kidnapper!
{112613}{112698}Wait.|Oh, no. You're not going anywhere.
{112699}{112744}Stop.
{112745}{112805}Stop. Run me over.
{112806}{112899}- Okay. Whoa. Whoa.|Stu, Stu, Stu.
{112900}{113010}Bring money to Big Rock|in Mojave Desert at dawn.
{113011}{113140}- What?|- Toodle-oo, motherfucker.
{113177}{113316}Well, at least take the bag|off his head! Fuck!
{113317}{113372}Oh!
{113553}{113661}Come on, get out of here.
{113731}{113831}Guys, I'm telling you, I looked for it this|morning before we left.
It's not anywhere.
{113832}{113892}Fuck.
{113942}{113984}Stu, how much you got in the bank?
{113985}{114050}About 10 grand.|I was gonna use it for the wedding.
{114051}{114104}You're already married,|so we're good there.
{114105}{114160}Besides, enough with Melissa,|she's the worst.
{114161}{114228}Yeah, Doug told me she had sex|with a pilot or something.
{114229}{114323}It was a bartender on a cruise.|What is wrong with you people?
{114324}{114451}- Ew. Alan, did you just eat sofa pizza?|- Yes.
{114452}{114518}What are we gonna do?|We are so fucked.
{114519}{114547}Hey, guys?
{114548}{114624}- Did you find it?|- Nope.
{114625}{114719}But check this out.
{115801}{115897}Change only, 10,000.
{115945}{116103}- Hey, uh, these seats taken?|- No, feel free.
{116137}{116274}All right, let's play some blackjack!
{116735}{116850}That's it. Shut up, bitches.
{116898}{116956}Hmm.
{116979}{117120}- I'll stick.|- Oh, fuck you! Fuck you!
{117197}{117271}Splitting fives.
{117272}{117363}- Too many.|- Yes!
{117395}{117491}I don't even know you,|but I'm gonna tell you that's dumb.
{117492}{117532}- Yes!|Oh!
{117533}{117642}Okay, come on.|He can't lose. He can't lose.
{117643}{117780}I think the pit boss is watching him.
{118121}{118154}- Oh, my God.|- Are you okay?
{118155}{118238}I'm such a klutz. I get so nervous|when I gamble. I'm so silly.
{118239}{118325}- It happens.|- Whoa. Hold on a beat, okay?
{118326}{118404}- Let's just take it easy. This is my wife.|- It's hurting.
{118405}{118444}Make sure... Does it|hurt? Does this hurt?
{118445}{118480}- Oh, ow.|- You all right?
{118481}{118538}I don't know.|- I don't know either. I don't...
{118539}{118574}I think you're fine. Let's go.
{118575}{118643}- Really? Okay.|Upsy-daisy, there.
{118644}{118718}I'm sorry,|she's had a little too much to drink.
{118719}{118839}Thanks, buddy. That's for you.
{118994}{119063}And 100, 200, 300, 400.
{119064}{119152}With all this, that's $82,400.
{119153}{119238}- Oh, goddamn it. I don't fucking believe it.|- Whoo!
{119239}{119312}- Alan, you're the man.|- You are too, Phil.
{119313}{119380}We should come back next week,|take the whole city down.
{119381}{119413}Oh, I'm free next week.
{119414}{119506}Or we could just focus|on getting Doug back, right now.
{119507}{119588}Uh, you know what? Next week's no good,|the Jonas Brothers are in
town.
{119589}{119654}But any week after that is totally fine.
{119655}{119740}I think it's safe to say that our luck|has officially turned
around, guys.
{119741}{119872}- We are back, baby. We are fucking back.|- We're back. Classic.
{119873}{119920}We are back, we are back
{119921}{119956}That's right.
{119957}{120016}We are getting Doug back
{120017}{120096}And we're the three best friends|That anybody could have
{120097}{120168}We're the three best friends|That anyone could have
{120169}{120256}We're the three best friends|That anyone can have
{120257}{120332}And we'll never, ever, ever, ever, ever|Leave each other
{120333}{120403}We're the best three friends|That anybody could have
{120404}{120475}I mean, the three best friends|That anybody could have
{120476}{120663}That's right, the three best friends|That anybody can have
{120984}{121036}Now what?|- Give him the signal.
{121037}{121127}- What signal?|- Flash your lights. Let him know it's on.
{121128}{121201}- What's on?|- The deal.
{121202}{121295}Of course it's on. We just drove 30 miles|into the desert. He knows
it's on.
{121296}{121375}Phil, just do something.
{121376}{121436}Fine.
{121481}{121528}- Oh, shit.|See?
{121529}{121625}All right, let's go.
{121896}{121950}Funny fat guy fall on face.
{121951}{121988}You okay?
{121989}{122059}All right, we got the money.|Eighty grand, cash.
{122060}{122115}Throw it over. Then I give you Doug.
{122116}{122240}Um, I'm sorry. First of all, good morning.|And we didn't catch your
name last night.
{122241}{122316}Mr. Chow. Leslie Chow.
{122317}{122376}Mr. Chow, it is a pleasure.|My name is Stu.
{122377}{122494}And we would very much appreciate|an opportunity to see Doug...
{122495}{122568}...before we give you the money,|just to verify that he's okay.
{122569}{122734}- Lf that's cool.|- Of course, Stu. That is cool.
{122932}{122988}- Oh, thank God.|- Okay.
{122989}{123063}See, he fine. Now give me money...
{123064}{123162}...or I shoot him,|and I shoot all you motherfuckers.
{123163}{123266}And then we take it.|Your choice, bitches.
{123267}{123396}- Give him the money, Stu.|- Okay.
{123537}{123654}It's all there.|- Let him go.
{123676}{123748}All right, take it easy. Take it easy.
{123749}{123808}Ta-da.
{123809}{123862}Is this some kind ofjoke?|Who the hell is this?
{123863}{123891}That is not Doug.
{123892}{123966}What you talking about, Willis?|That him.
{123967}{124028}No, I'm sorry, Mr. Chow.|That's not our friend.
{124029}{124124}- He... That's...|- The Doug we're looking for is a white.
{124125}{124219}Ah! I told you you had the wrong guy,|little boy.
{124220}{124283}Damn, Alan,|what the fuck you got me into?
{124284}{124352}- You know him?|- This is the guy that sold me the bad drugs.
{124353}{124417}- How you doing?|- I didn't sell you no fucking bad drugs.
{124418}{124544}- Wait. He sold you the Ruphylin?|- Ruphylin? I sold you that
Ru...? Wha...?
{124545}{124646}- Who gives a shit? Where is Doug?|- I am Doug.
{124647}{124706}- Your name's Doug?|- Yes, I'm Doug.
{124707}{124775}His name's Doug too. Ha. Classic mix-up.
{124776}{124807}Come on.
{124808}{124912}- Hey, Chow. You gave us the wrong Doug.|- Not my problem.
{124913}{125004}No, fuck that shit. Now, you give us|our 80 grand back and take him
with you!
{125005}{125120}- No. Come on. I'll be your Doug.|- Oh, yeah, okay. Oh, I take him
back.
{125121}{125199}Right after you suck on|these little Chinese nuts.
{125200}{125276}- Ah. That's nasty.|- Mmm. How that sound?
{125277}{125317}Unh, pshh.
{125318}{125417}- So long, gay boys.|- Wait a second.
{125418}{125463}He's a nasty little motherfucker.
{125464}{125494}Did you ever get any ecstasy?
{125495}{125548}No, I ain't got no fucking ecstasy.
{125549}{125629}- Goddamn it!|Gosh darn it!
{125630}{125712}- Shit!|Shoot!
{125933}{125988}Hello?|- Ahem, Tracy, it's Phil.
{125989}{126079}Phil, where the hell are you guys?|I'm freaking out.
{126080}{126159}Yeah, listen.
{126179}{126220}We fucked up.
{126221}{126314}Thanks for the lift back to town.
{126315}{126360}- I got a question for you.|- What's up?
{126361}{126422}How did you wind up in Chow's car?
{126423}{126482}That crazy asshole|kidnapped me yesterday.
{126483}{126539}Okay, but why? I mean, why you?
{126540}{126627}He thought I was with you guys because|we were hanging over at the
Bellagio.
{126628}{126672}- What?|- We were at the Bellagio?
{126673}{126723}We were shooting craps.|You don't remember?
{126724}{126783}No. No, we don't remember.
{126784}{126909}Because some dick drug dealer sold him|Ruphylin and told him it was
ecstasy.
{126910}{127017}Ruphylin. There you go with that word.|Ruphylin. What the hell is a
Ruphylin?
{127018}{127123}Wow, you are|the world's shittiest drug dealer.
{127124}{127258}Ruphylin, for your information,|is the date-rape drug. You sold
Alan roofies.
{127259}{127347}Oh, shit. I must have mixed up the bags.|My fault, Alan.
{127348}{127432}Damn, Marshall gonna be pissed off at me|on that one.
{127433}{127509}- Whatever.|- It's funny, because just the other day...
{127510}{127590}...me and my boy, we was wondering|why they even call them roofies.
{127591}{127666}- You know what I'm talking about?|- No. Don't know.
{127667}{127729}Why not floories, right?|Because when you take them...
{127730}{127813}...you're more likely|to end up on the floor than the roof.
{127814}{127896}What about groundies?|That's a good new name for them.
{127897}{127946}Or, how about rapies?
{127947}{128009}- Wait, what did you just say?|- Rapies.
{128010}{128102}- Not you. Doug, what did you say before?|- I said groundies.
{128103}{128131}No, before that.
{128132}{128266}You said, "You're more likely to wind up|on the floor than... "
{128267}{128386}- Phil.|- Listen, Trace, I'm really sorry. L...
{128387}{128459}Phil? Hello?|- Tracy, it's Stu.
{128460}{128516}Stu. Talk to me. What's going on?
{128517}{128567}Uh, nothing. Don't listen to Phil.
{128568}{128654}He's completely out of his mind.|He's probably still drunk from
last night.
{128655}{128683}Where's Doug?
{128684}{128766}He is paying the bill.|We just had a delicious brunch.
{128767}{128828}We're in a hurry to get back,|so we gotta get going.
{128829}{128884}- Okay, we'll see you soon. Bye.|- Stu.
{128885}{128940}Stu. Fuck.
{128941}{129097}- What the fuck, man?|- I know where Doug is.
{129190}{129234}I don't know, man. It just hit me.
{129235}{129308}You remember when we saw|Doug's mattress impaled on that statue?
{129309}{129368}- Yeah, we threw it out the window.|- No, impossible.
{129369}{129457}- You can't open windows in Vegas hotels.|- Well, then how did it
get...?
{129458}{129514}- Oh, my God!|- Ha, ha, ha.
{129515}{129591}- Whoa, wait. What's going on?|- Doug was trying to signal someone.
{129592}{129630}- Holy shit.|Yes.
{129631}{129703}- Wait. How did you figure that out?|- Doug made me realize it.
{129704}{129752}- Doug?|- Uh, not our Doug. Black Doug.
{129753}{129832}- Hey, hey, easy with that shit. Come on.|- Sorry.
{129833}{129880}Can someone tell me|where white Doug is?
{129881}{129922}- He's on the roof, Alan.|- Yes.
{129923}{130003}He's on the roof. We must have taken him|up there as a prank...
{130004}{130077}...so he'd wake up on the roof.|- Like that time in summer camp.
{130078}{130132}We moved his sleeping bag|out in the jetty at the lake?
{130133}{130178}Ha, ha, ha. Which was hilarious.
{130179}{130256}It's not so funny now, though,|because we forgot where we put him.
{130257}{130304}You guys are retarded, you know that?
{130305}{130520}- Holy shit. You think he's still up there?|- There's only one way
to find out.
{130521}{130556}Doug!
{130557}{130604}Doug!
{130605}{130732}- Doug!|Doug, you up here, buddy?
{130756}{130844}Where you at, Doug?
{130845}{130905}Doug!
{130973}{131020}Hey, guys!
{131021}{131099}He's over here!
{131100}{131244}Hey, I found him! He's over here!|- Oh, shit.
{131245}{131287}He's okay.
{131288}{131331}You're okay. Ha, ha, ha!
{131332}{131407}Oh, God. We gotta go, buddy. Come on.
{131408}{131483}Oh, we have been looking everywhere|for you.
{131484}{131561}- He's alive.|- What the fuck is going on?
{131562}{131638}We can explain everything,|but right now we gotta go.
{131639}{131739}- Hey, bud. You okay?|- No. Not okay.
{131740}{131809}You look good, you got some color.|I'm jealous.
{131810}{131872}- I'm getting married today.|- Yes, you are.
{131873}{131937}That's why you need to focus|and do everything we say.
{131938}{132021}Because, frankly,|you're wasting a little bit of time right now.
{132022}{132118}You fucking asshole!
{132131}{132175}Oh, my skin burns. My skin burns.
{132176}{132220}Oh, ow! God.
{132221}{132302}- It's okay. It's not your fault, Doug.|- Don't touch me. Shut up.
{132303}{132359}All of you, shut up.
{132360}{132400}Just get me home.
{132401}{132431}Mm-hm.
{132432}{132491}Just get me home.
{132492}{132553}What about the one after that?
{132554}{132644}You cannot be serious.
{132645}{132685}Oh, goddamn it.
{132686}{132732}- What?|- Every flight to L. A. Is booked.
{132733}{132769}- What about Burbank?|- Sold out.
{132770}{132855}Oh, fuck! We can't drive there, the|wedding starts in three and a
half hours.
{132856}{132912}- Alan, where's the car?|It's on its way.
{132913}{132948}You know what?
{132949}{133066}We can drive there.|We can make it. Okay?
{133067}{133115}Hi.
{133116}{133268}- Just give me one second.|We will leave without you.
{133269}{133368}- Is he missing a tooth?|- Yeah.
{133369}{133418}Hey.|- Hey.
{133419}{133488}Hey, thanks for helping out last night.|That was so awesome.
{133489}{133546}Sure.
{133547}{133609}Listen, Jade, I...
{133610}{133681}Look, you don't have to say it.|I totally understand.
{133682}{133788}- This whole thing was stupid.|- Huh.
{133789}{133897}It was stupid, wasn't it?
{133999}{134072}- This is yours.|- Oh, thank you.
{134073}{134172}I can't believe I gave my grandmother's|Holocaust ring to someone I
just met.
{134173}{134240}- What was I thinking?|- You were really fucked up.
{134241}{134305}Clearly.
{134306}{134386}- You did pull out your own tooth.|- L...?
{134387}{134443}I pulled out my tooth?
{134444}{134503}Why did I pull out my own tooth?
{134504}{134566}Alan bet you|that you weren't a good enough dentist...
{134567}{134621}...to pull out your own tooth.
{134622}{134694}Okay. Heh.
{134701}{134780}- Of course he did.|- You won.
{134781}{134866}Yeah. Clearly. Yeah.
{134867}{134916}That's victory, right there.
{134917}{134961}It needs to go down.
{134962}{135007}- It's good. Get in.|- No. Safety first.
{135008}{135095}- Alan, it's fine. It's down.|- No, I gotta get it down first.
{135096}{135198}Jesus Christ. Look out.|- Don't mess the car up.
{135199}{135248}You're gonna mess the car up.
{135249}{135338}- Hey, what are you doing next weekend?|- I don't know. Working.
Why?
{135339}{135415}I was thinking maybe I'd come back|and take you out to dinner.
{135416}{135480}Really? Like a date?
{135481}{135606}Yeah. Like a date.|Only, one that hopefully I'll remember.
{135607}{135684}Sounds good.
{135732}{135838}- Stu. Come on.|- Stu. Come on.
{135839}{135940}I gotta go. Okay. Bye.
{135997}{136076}- Bye.|- Bye.
{136096}{136150}All right, here we go.
{136151}{136224}- All right, let's go.|- Yeah.
{136225}{136292}Careful.
{136660}{136727}At least the trip|wasn't a total disaster.
{136728}{136807}- What makes you say that?|- When I woke up on the roof...
{136808}{136904}...I happened to find $80,000|worth of Bellagio chips in my pocket.
{136905}{136957}- Oh!|Oh, my God!
{136958}{137126}Looks like we're going home|with some money, boys.
{137461}{137557}Here he comes. That's him.
{137558}{137632}- Hey, Neeco!|Hey. What's up, Alan?
{137633}{137693}Whoo!
{137708}{137751}- Whoa, look out.|- Oh, shit.
{137752}{137826}Whoa! Whoa!
{137881}{137915}- Thanks, Neeco.|You got it, man.
{137916}{137959}Page me!|Adiós.
{137960}{138111}Who the hell was that guy?|That's my buddy.
{138881}{139056}Hey. Sorry, MapQuest took us|on a really crazy route.
{139535}{139580}- How's my hair?|- It looks good.
{139581}{139739}- Is it cool like Phil's?|- It's classic Phil.
{139792}{139900}She looks beautiful, man.
{139995}{140060}Sorry I'm late.
{140061}{140123}Vegas.
{140212}{140316}Where were you?|And why are you so red?
{140317}{140425}Honey, it's a long story.
{140432}{140482}We are gathered here today...
{140483}{140572}...because of the strength of love|and of promises kept.
{140573}{140657}All I know is I am so sorry.
{140658}{140718}And I promise|for as long as we're married...
{140719}{140848}...to never, ever put you|through anything like this again.
{140849}{140943}Can you forgive me?
{141993}{142044}- Daddy.|- Hey, my man.
{142045}{142105}Excuse me,|but I'm expecting my husband any minute.
{142106}{142183}Oh, that's very funny. Come here.
{142184}{142292}How was your soccer game?
{142617}{142719}- Stu? You avoiding me?|- Hey. Melissa.
{142720}{142804}Oh, my God.|What happened to your tooth?
{142805}{142892}Have you met Alan? Tracy's brother.|Brother of the...
{142893}{142934}Okay. Ow.
{142935}{143018}That is disgusting.|Why haven't you returned my calls?
{143019}{143068}Well, there was a snafu|when we stopped...
{143069}{143117}I called that bed and breakfast in Napa.
{143118}{143210}They said they had no record|of you even checking in.
{143211}{143255}That's because we didn't go to Napa.
{143256}{143355}- Stu. What the fuck is going on?|- We went to Las Vegas.
{143356}{143434}Oh, really? Las Vegas?|Why would you go to Las Vegas?
{143435}{143499}My friend was getting married.|That's what guys do.
{143500}{143545}- Okay, that's not what you do.|- Really?
{143546}{143656}Well, then why did I do it, huh?|Because I did it. Riddle me that.
{143657}{143696}Why'd I do it?
{143697}{143753}All you want me to do|is what you want me to do.
{143754}{143802}I'm sick of doing what you want.
{143803}{143891}In a healthy relationship,|a guy should be able to do what he
wants.
{143892}{143968}- That is not how this works!|Oh, good.
{143969}{144044}Because whatever this is|ain't working for me!
{144045}{144073}Oh, really?|Yeah.
{144074}{144104}Since when?
{144105}{144283}Since you fucked that waiter|on your cruise last June. Boom!
{144284}{144376}- You told me it was a bartender.|- Oh, you're right. I stand
corrected.
{144377}{144456}It was a bartender.|You fucked a bartender.
{144457}{144494}You're an idiot.
{144495}{144568}You're... You...
{144569}{144608}You're such a bad person.
{144609}{144712}Like, all the way through to your core.
{144713}{144808}Alan, shall we dance?
{144809}{144891}Let's do this.
{145045}{145123}- It was a real pleasure meeting you.|- Fuck off.
{145124}{145216}- I'm getting my bartender's license.|- Suck my dick.
{145217}{145299}No, thank you.
{145493}{145549}You guys are awe...
{145550}{145604}Sid?|- There he is.
{145605}{145700}- You wanted to see me?|- Yeah.
{145701}{145760}- Congratulations, buddy.|- Congratulations to you.
{145761}{145833}- You had us worried there for a second.|- Sorry.
{145834}{145867}How was Vegas?
{145868}{145940}It was... Ahem. It was crazy.
{145941}{146008}Attaboy.
{146069}{146154}- Enjoy the car?|- Mm-hm.
{146155}{146326}- Remember to put Armor All on the tires?|- Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
{146327}{146437}Let me ask you a question.
{146471}{146581}How can a cake cost $1400?
{146601}{146684}- Highway robbery.|- It's criminal.
{146685}{146798}Sid, ahem, about the car...
{146916}{147074}Tracy told you. I told her not to tell you.|I wanted to tell you.
{147075}{147176}- Tell me what?|- Careful, Doug. These women...
{147177}{147241}...can't be trusted.
{147242}{147315}- Tell me what, Sid?|- The Mercedes.
{147316}{147413}It is a wedding gift from Linda and I.
{147414}{147555}- Are you serious?|- What do you think?
{147713}{147789}That is awesome.
{147790}{147872}Thank you. Oh.
{147885}{147953}Thanks, Daddy. Thanks, Sid.
{147954}{148014}Close the door.|- You're awesome.
{148015}{148100}You are awesome.
{148101}{148161}Yeah.
{148329}{148363}Dougie...
{148364}{148426}...I gotta tell you, man,|this was a gorgeous wedding.
{148427}{148520}- I give it six months.|- You're a dick.
{148521}{148644}I don't know what to say.|Thanks for the bachelor party, I guess?
{148645}{148752}Yeah. I just wish|we could actually remember some of it.
{148753}{148837}- Hey, guys? Look what I found.|- Whoa, that's my camera.
{148838}{148916}- It was in the back seat of the car.|- Oh, Go... Are there photos
on it?
{148917}{148976}Yeah. Some of it's even worse|than we thought.
{148977}{149029}- No fucking way. Give me that.|- Wa... Wa... Wait.
{149030}{149119}Wait, wait, wait.
{149149}{149268}We look at these pictures together, okay?|One time.
{149269}{149372}- And then we delete the evidence.|- I say we delete it right now.
{149373}{149464}Are you nuts? I wanna find out|how I wound up in the hospital.
{149465}{149564}- Yeah, it's in there.|- Guys, one time.
{149565}{149593}- Deal?|- Deal.
{149594}{149678}- Deal.|- Okay.
{149741}{149781}Oh, dear Lord!
{149782}{149866}That's classic!