A Very Fatal Murder Journal

Episode 01: “A Perfect Murder”

- Begins with the question: “What makes the perfect murder”
o What is true crime based on?
- Comedy about the kinds of crimes committed
- David Pascal – narrator
o Murder is treated as joke/commonplace (ETHL)
- ETHL is a siri who makes True Crime jokes
o Homicide jokes – reads off facts
 Filters
 Females only
- Coal miners – “illiterate, but in a loveable way”
o Hicks on the audio being stereotype jokes
 Back to square one – didn’t pan out
- Perfect Murder
o Engrossing
o Mysterious
o Perfectly reflects our nation’s current economic/social conditions
o Comments on past and future intersectional feminism
o Really hot white girl
 Hailey Price
- Hailey Price
o 17 years old
o Clear skin
o Debate champion
o Prom queen
o Doting girlfriend
 “excelled at getting murdered” DUDE LOL
o Dad orks at a bottle cap factory
 “she was also dead” I MEAN HOLY HELL
- Narrator mentions how this case fulfilled every filter they put into ETHL
o Gruesome
o Unsolved
o Commented on the ugly underbelly of the American Dream
o Decline of manufacturing
o Modern beauty standards
o Gig Economy
o Factory Farming
o Deforestation
o Saturated fats
o The fragility of love
o The golden era of television
o CO2 emissions
 o MOST IMPORTANT: no one’s done a podcast on it yet
- Hailey was shot 3 times, stabbed, chocked, suffocated with a pillow, soaking wet (clearly
drowned), same composition as Mars under her fingernails, dead for 7 hours when
found, nails painted 15 minutes ago, etc.
o “What happened to Hailey Price and how can I get in on it?”
- INTRO: very dramatic, like the podcast version of Making a Murderer
- Bluff Springs, Nebraska
o CBS & Organized religion
o Shown a 911 call
- Talks about how people were shocked to meet a podcast host
o Not shocked about the murder
- The narrator thinks he’s more important
- Narrator is making a lot of leaps in logic to describe the town
o He’s from NY
- Lots of interviews talking about how rich Calloway is
o Nobody actually knows him, just that he is rich
 Rumors swirl around him
- Why is Calloway missing?
o 3 options provided: introvert, gay or a murderer
- Mistreatment of true crime podcast interns
- AD BREAK – Fresh food
o Complete meal chefs do the whole act of eating for you
- Hailey’s Parents – crying (a month)
o Narrator talks about their crying saying he wish he could be there
o Considered Hailey the “Dreamer”
 HE REFUSES TO PASS TISSUES BC IT’S GOOD FOR THE RECORDING
 Asks if she was going to NYU bc that is HIS alma mater
o Hailey was “artistic”
 Narrator talks about himself again
 Mom is still crying
 Points to Orlando Bloom
- WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR – BOX BOX
o Has the mother read as she’s balling her eyes out! I CAN’T
- PROMO CODE HAILEY!!! HOLY FUCK – I CAN’T
- Narrator doesn’t know the victim at all
- Wraps up with how he needs to make this the best podcast ever to honor Hailey
- ENDS WITH TALKING ABOUT THEIR SUBSCRIBER PAGE WHERE YOU CAN PAY TO SEE
HAILEY’S DEAD BODY

Episode 2: “What I know and What I Don’t Know Yet”

- Starts with a description of Hailey
o Considered what “we know”
o Narrator is being creepy as shit
 o Talks about winning awards to discover what he doesn’t know yet
- INTRO
- Audio clip of the police talking about how they are committed to bringing justice for
Hailey
o Bryan is brought into questioning with the police
 Narrator mentions Bryan’s great hair and his eyes you could get lost in
 Questioned for 10 hours
 He’s a “great guy”
o Alibi checks out – 7/11 footage of Bryan filling the trash with ICEE
- Wrote out “RIP Hailey Price” in lighter fluid on the football field and lit it up
o Then went for Alex
- Alex Thatcher
o Not much to go off of
- 7 other suspects
- No one was ever charged for the murder
- Ms. Voloa
o Alex talking mad shit about her
o Narrator calls her a major loser when her alibi checks out
 IM FUCKING DEAD
- Lorisa Monk
o Cleared when she discovered she was sleeping with a student at the time of the
murder
- Martian soil?
o Working on that as well
- Black man they saw walking around town that day?
o Cleared
- No podcasters on the police staff
o Are podcasts needed for a clear account of justice?
- Calloway is not a suspect
o Narrator says he is because he’s already wrote out his name in big block letters
and underlined it
 White board
- AD BREAK – BRICKSHORTS.COM
o ETHL talks about a domain you can buy to host your website
- Wind turbine
o Compares to the murder of Hailey Price
o Asking questions of how it works
 Very funny
 Calloway’s name is on it
- Calloway family is an old family
o Range of businesses
- Works in soda
o Tropa-Crazy is town’s main source of income
  Shut down
o Narrator points the finger and accuses Calloway of being a murderer
- Talks about how robots are taking jobs from white workers
- Librarian gossips with narrator about the relationship between police and Calloway
Family
- Calloway expected of murder back in the day
- Calloway’s name is everywhere in the town’s history
- Calloway Campers
o Basically, Boy Scouts
o Hailey’s in the picture
 “that poor dead girl” – Librarian
- Ends with subscription to see Bryan’s Graduation Photos – they turned out really good
o As well as asking fans to tweet their theories of how Calloway killed Hailey
o Another podcast ad – TRULY INSANE HISTORY FACTS

Episode 3: “Calloway Day”

- INTRO
o Why is this constantly moving?
o What is that doing to my listening?
- Narrator is describing the small town
o Calls them simple
o He’s at the fair?
 Describing ring toss
- Fair is in honor of Calloway
o Little kid siblings are being interviewed
o Narrator asks if they know anything about the girl who was brutally stabbed in
her face
 THIS IS TOO MUCH I CAN’T LOL
- Mentions once again the possibility that this podcast would win awards
o Total desire and true goal
- Narrator once again making jumps in logic and asks mostly leading questions
o Donna has to repeat 3 times because narrator doesn’t understand the southern
colloquialism
o African American is put into stereotypes by the white people around him
o Pothead is totally wiped
 Calloway might have
 Why does anyone do anything?
 Fighting for his life
 Died????????
- Bryan got an ab tattoo of Hailey riding a skateboard, eating ice cream and flipping the
bird
o Like face painting, not a true tattoo
- Getting into the small-town life
 o Relates back to Hailey’s murder
 Points and accuses Calloway again in the podcast
 Call to action
- AD BREAK – Sand Camp
o Dumps sand on your lawn every month (subscription)
- Narrator believes that he is above those he’s interviewing/interacting with
- Evidence:
o ETHL believes that Calloway owns everyone
 Though no one has seen him
- Points to how if the town is complicit in Hailey’s death then does that mean middle
America is complicit as well
o Narrator says that America killed Hailey Price
 Wild jump once again
- Just realized but OPR is done in the same font as NPR – I love the freaking Onion dude
- Narrator is drawing the conclusions that he wanted
- Mentions all of the filters again
- Looking to prove Calloway’s guilt instead of looking at the facts
- ETHL says that the narrator needs to visit the crime scene
o Needs proof
- Narrator says he has to move to Nebraska
- Ends with “Oh fuck oh shit!”
o Thanks a sponsor for the “visual” effects
 There are no visual effects in a podcast besides maybe the cover photo
LOL
o Another mention of another podcast done by OPR