NARRADOR

Today we are going to play an episode of The Office, a TV show which started in 2005. This
show tells the story of an office team with a strange narrative. In it’s fiction the show is filmed
by a producer which is making a documentary film of office life. So in this theater there is
going to be another character, the cameras, which are going to be played by the spectors.
So I leave you with the performance of the Diversity Day episode and some loose scenes
performed by the cast.

NARRADOR RCP
The context of this fragment is a truly bizarre one. Dwight, who is in charge of security,
conducts a fire drill without saying that it is a drill. So hysteria takes over people and Stanly
(SALE JOSEJA) has a heart attack. Afterwards, MICHAEL decides that they should give a
CPR course in case it happens again. The scene is this beginner course.

RCP
Kevin: [giving chest compressions to the practice dummy] I can't keep doing this
forever. CPR Trainer: It's been 20 seconds.
Kevin: Call it.
CPR Trainer: Would you like to try next?
Dwight: Absolutely I would not.
Michael: You know who I really think should go? Stanley.
Stanley: Oh, I don't know.
Phyllis: That's not a good idea, Michael.
Michael: Come on.
Phyllis: He needs to rest.
Michael: No rest for the sick. We are not always going to be there to coddle your
heart back when it disappears to be working. What are you gonna do if you're by
yourself and your heart stops?
Stanley: I would die.
Michael: And you're okay with that?
Stanley: I'm okay with the logic of it.
Michael: Uh-uh. No, no, no. Come on. Get up. Let's do this.
Stanley: Yes. I had a heart attack. I would quit, but I'm too old to find another job and I
don't have enough saved to retire. I feel like I'm working in my own casket.
Michael: Come on Stanley. You're losing you. You're losing you. Do it!
Angela: Michael!
Michael: This is you we're talking about.
Angela: Michael.
Michael: Okay, okay. I'll show them. Here we go. [whispers]
Stanley. All right.
CPR Trainer: So, assessing the situation. Are they breathing?
Michael: No, Rose. They are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs.
Rose: No, that's not part of it.
Michael: Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no
arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what kind of quality of life do
we have there?
Kevin: I would want to live with no legs.
Michael: How about no arms? No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now,
Kevin. You don't do anything.
Rose: All right, well, lets get back to it. 'Cause you're losing him. Okay, too fast.
Everyone, we need to pump at a pace of a 100 beats per minute .
Michael: okay, that's uh, hard to keep track. How many is that per hour?
Jim: How's that gonna help you?
Michael: I will divide and then count to it.
Jim: Right.
Rose: Okay. Well, a good trick is to pump to the tune of 'Staying Alive' by the Bee
Gees. Do you know that song?
Michael: Yes, yes I do. I love that song. [clears throat, begins to sing] First I was
afraid, I was petrified.
Rose: No, it's--Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Michael: Okay, I got it.
Creed: [to Rose] You were in the parking lot earlier. That's how I know you.
Michael: Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, stayin' alive, stayin' alive [Andy joins in] Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, stayin'
alive, stayin' alive.
Michael: Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah...
Andy: Oh you can tell by the way I use my walk I'm a woman's man, no time to talk.
Music loud, women warm, been kicked around since I was born. Oh, it's alright, it's
okay, [Michael and Kelly join in] you can look the other way. Loo do do!
Rose: Okay!
Andy: Da, da, da, da, da, da, da
Rose: Okay!
Everyone: [muttering] Stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Rose: Yeah, okay. You didn't maintain 100 beats per minute, and the ambulance didn't
arrive because nobody called 911. So you lost him.
Dwight: Okay, he's dead. Anyone know what we do next? Anybody? Rose?
Rose: I have no idea.
Dwight: Anyone else?
Phyllis: We bury him?
Dwight: Wrong. Ehh. Check for an organ donor card. If he has one, we only have
minutes to harvest.
Creed: He has no wallet, I checked.
Michael: He is an organ donor.
Dwight: He is.
Michael: Yeah.
Dwight: Get me some ice and a styrofoam bucket. [pulls out knife from holder that is
attached to his leg] Here we go.
Angela: Oh my God! Dwight!
Kelly: Dwight!
Angela: What are you--
[people are yelling] What are you doing?
Dwight: We search for the organs. Where's the heart? The precious heart.
Stanley: I'm not feeling well. I need to sit down.
Michael: Hey, Stanley.
Andy: Stanley.
Michael: Are you okay?
Angela: Oh my God! [Dwight has cut the face off the CPR dummy and put it over his
own]
Stanley: Oh my God!
Angela: Dwight!
Dwight: Clarice?
Stanley: Oh my God

NARRADOR TOBBY
This scene represents the return of Toby acted by me. This character is very hated by
Michael (Sale Carlos) and he had taken a vacation in Costa Rica. So his companions decide
to throw him a party upon his return, but Michael had not found out and this happens:

TOBBY
Angela: Are you swallowing them whole? You're eating them so fast, are they even touching
your tongue?
Kevin: [with mouth full] Yes.
Dwight: Brownies is it? Hm. Pastry cubes made of sugar and fat? No thank you, I'll stick with
my jerkie.
Jim: So why did you come in here? Dwight: To socialize. And inform.
Michael: Oh brownies! I'm taking two so I can parcel them up and eat them at my leisure
later on, much healthier.
Ryan: You're taking two? Kelly: Yeah, um, but one of them is for Toby.
Michael: Yeah why don't you send that to him in Costa Rica? Kelly: Um, I'm just gonna hand
it to him right now.
Michael: Heh, okay, weirdo. Jim: Why is that, why is that weird?
Michael: She said she was going to give it to him right now. [starts laughing]
Jim: [laughing] She's probably going to, cause they sit next to each other. Michael: Yeah,
they used to. Jim: Toby works here again. Michael: Oh, can you imagine? Jim: Oh no.
Michael: Uhhgh. Jim: You don't know.
Michael: I don't know. What?
Jim: You should probably just meander back there; take a look. See if he's, see if he's back.
Michael: Hmmm, dare I? [laughs] You know what? I'm going to, for old time's sake. [walks to
the annex, standing in Toby's cubicle] Great practical joke Jim, you got me to go to the
annex. [turns around and sees Toby]
Toby: Hi, Micha-
Michael: NOOOO! GOD! No, God, please no! No! No! NOOO!