Autism and constellations

The Autistic withholds a cry or perhaps a word “Just as you are, you are a
blessing to my life. And everything else, whatever you achieve, wherever you get
to, I experience as a gift too.”
With the arrival of April 2 and the celebration of WORLD AUTISM
AWARENESS DAY, I have received letters and calls asking me about the
systemic causes of Autism and if Family Constellations could help understand and
make this condition more friendly. My answer admits no doubt, it is a resounding
YES. And I explain why.

The autistic person is someone who lovingly assumes something of the family
system and finds peace when he looks at who he represents, that excluded
person with whom he has an alliance, a loyalty. An autistic person takes
"charge" of a guilt, a secret, an event that occurred in another generation and does
it for LOVE.

Although Family Constellations helps these children, it would be very arrogant to

say that they will heal in a "miraculous" way. The experiences of constellators
around the world and among them, teacher Bert Hellinger, indicate that after a
constellation these children change impressively, speak fluently (after expressing
the cry or word that they retain from their family tree) and are more sociable. .

Thus, in this way, with LOVE, PATIENCE, RESPECT, HONOR AND

CAUTION, children with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) begin a process of
healing the family soul accompanied by their parents and following the
recommendations of the treating doctor.
 It is a world to explore and my soul is open to that field.

According to the Law of Belonging, we are all part of the clan. We all belong.

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Constellating... autism Creative PeopleFollow Jun 5, 2016

Several mothers who have autism attend a Family Constellations workshop.

At a given moment, a question is asked about what is the appropriate view towards
these children.

Constellator: "Better than talking, we could see it directly with a blind

constellation, where the representatives know nothing about the roles they have
been given."

The constellator takes three pieces of paper, writes something on them, folds them,
and then asks three representatives to come out. When these people are standing in
the center of the room, the constellator offers them the folded papers to choose
from. They don't know what it says on the leaves.

Constellator: "Take the paper to your chest for a moment and feel internally that
you are what is written, take your time and let yourself go."

After a while the following image is configured:

A representative, static and with her hands behind her back, says she feels
bewildered and unable to do anything. (She is the representative of autism).

Another representative is calm and happy standing a couple of meters from the
autism (Represents "Yes").
The third person appears arrogant and agitated, feels cocky and strong and does not
stop moving back and forth between the other representatives (She is the
representative of "No").

The constellator asks the representatives to look at each other and express what
they feel.

Autism looks at "Yes" and says: “I feel calm, at peace.” When he looks at "No"
and sees that he is approaching him, he says: "I feel afraid, his attitude makes me
uncomfortable."

The "Yes" describes autism in its position without judgment and comments on the
"No" that it moves a lot and that it wants something.

The "No" says: "I don't understand why the "Yes" is standing there, I feel the need
to do something when I look at autism." He has strength, arrogance and the need
for action.

The constellator asks the representatives to sit down and open the papers and read
them aloud. After this, he comments:

Bert Hellinger says some interesting things regarding diagnoses, in relation for
example to the soul of autistic children, the mentally ill or those who suffer from a
disability; These people feel deep inside that others are cataloging and labeling
them, so what freedom is left for the soul? What relationship awaits us between
human beings if we judge and classify others?

The group then discusses the usefulness of diagnosis as a necessary image in the
medical and intervention field, but it is emphasized how scarce and unhelpful this
defining image is in an intimate or family setting.
Constellador: "The diagnosis separates us from the other; think for a moment, how
different the intervention can be that does not take the diagnosis into account;
suddenly something lightens, something between both, professional and patient;
there are only two people who go through a path together, there is nothing to
achieve since there is no autistic person, there is no mental patient... we leave it
there so that everyone can reflect on the place they occupy in dealing with the
people we call needy.

The group discusses the importance of working with these people and that they
achieve the necessary improvements to the extent of their possibilities, relating,
achieving speech and basic skills that lead to a more autonomous life.

Constellador: "Sometimes rehabilitation and improvement are also experienced as

a struggle, as a "No" to the limitations that the patient or child presents. Then we
talk about achievements and goals with a special force, a force that is more about
going against what is manifested, fighting to achieve something, and we forget to
live this growth as a gift of a process typical of the autistic or the sick, a gift of the
Spirit. This is seen in "courage" parents, who talk about fighting, about doing the
impossible; deep down you can perceive the anger they have with the God who has
allowed their son or daughter to be born with that defect or handicap."

The constellator continues: "And on the other hand, here we could see how the
“No” complements what hurts us, and what hurts us? What the son or daughter
who has embodied different energies and information brings and presents, like
autism, here we have seen that its representative (pointing to autism) cannot do,
cannot decide, it is linked to something previous and then, "No" arises as an
answer, to do something, to fix or solve what is considers that it is not right...
wherever we oppose we try to compensate and perfect something; and in this
regard Bert Hellinger has a definitive phrase: "He who fights, loses", and there are
no nuances here.

The path of yes, of assenting to what is, recognizing the limits, becomes a step to
agree with the destiny of those we love, and then, there is no longer a need to fight
or do, because we are carried in the same direction as the creative force.

Someone could say that this is resigning in some way, but nothing could be further
from the truth, this is the starting point that looks at our children well, because
from the parents' perspective it is: “Just as you are, you are a blessing to me.” life.
And everything else, whatever you achieve, wherever you get to, I experience as a
gift too.”

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Learning from Bert Hellinger's Family Constellations Thank you. For

the pleasure of writing.
Among so many alternative therapies to try to overcome my son's autism, I took a
Family Constellations course. It was an experience in which I learned to thank all
my ancestors, known or unknown, for life, those who did well and those who did
not, to honor my parents, to give their place to all the people who have belonged to
my family and who They have been in my life in some way. Through this study of
a little more than a year, I managed to let go of the guilt that related to autism.

I learned to live with autism without trying to make it go away. To accept it and be
grateful for life with all its events.
It is a good therapy with a lot of healing information, because meeting one from its
origins is like reconciling with the past that runs through your veins from
generation to generation.

My son did not stop having autism but his mother now relates better to her
environment and her family, which is progress in her personal growth. I have so
recently stopped teaching them things to give them more independence but now
looking at it differently... It is teaching not overcoming a syndrome. And truly
today I feel much more fulfilled and capable than yesterday. Verónica
Margarita Gonzalez Bozo

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