LIFE MANUAL

Epictetus

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 LIFE MANUAL
Epictetus (35 AD – 135 AD)
Sharon Lebell version

Know what you can control and what you can't

Happiness and freedom begin with the clear

understanding of one principle: some things are under
our control and others are not. Only after having faced
this fundamental rule and having learned to
distinguish between what we can control and what we
cannot, will inner tranquility and outer effectiveness
be possible. Under control are opinions, aspirations,
desires and things that repel us. These areas are quite
precisely our concern, because they are directly
subject to our influence. We always have the
possibility of choosing the contents and character of
our inner life.
Out of control, however, are things like the type of
body we have, being born into wealth or having to
become rich, the way others see us, and our position in
society. We must remember that these things are
external and therefore not our concern. Trying to
control or change what we cannot only result in
torment.
Let us remember: the things over which we have
power are naturally at our disposal, free from all
restrictions or impediments; But the things that our
power cannot reach are weaknesses, dependencies, or
are determined by the whim and actions of others.
Let us also remember that if we think we can take
charge of things that by nature are beyond our control,
or if we try to adopt the affairs of others as our own,
our efforts will be thwarted and we will become
frustrated, anxious and critical people.

Mind your own business

Pay attention only to your true concerns and assume
that what belongs to others is their business and not
yours. If you act like this, you will be impervious to
coercion and no one will be able to restrain you. You
will be truly free and effective, as you will put your
efforts to good use instead of wasting them criticizing
or opposing others.
If you know and pay attention to your true concerns,
nothing and no one will make you act against your
will; Others will not be able to hurt you, you will not
gain enemies or suffer any evil.
If you intend to live by these principles, remember that
it will not be easy: you will have to give up some
things completely and postpone others for now. You
may have to deprive yourself of wealth and power if
you want to ensure that you achieve happiness and
freedom.
Recognize mere appearances
From now on you must practice saying to anything
unpleasant: "You are only an appearance and in no
way what you appear to be." Then conscientiously
consider the matter at hand in accordance with the
principles just mentioned. First, does this appearance
concern things that are under my control or those that
are not? If it concerns anything that is out of your
control, learn not to worry about it.

Desire demands to be satisfied

Our desires and aversions are fickle sovereigns that
demand satisfaction. Desire orders us to run and grab
what we want. Aversion insists that we avoid things
that repel us.
It is quite common for us to be disappointed when we
don't get what we want and to feel distressed when we
get what we don't want.
On the other hand, if you avoid only the undesirable
things that are contrary to your natural well-being and
that are within your control, you will never find
yourself involved in something you don't really want.
However, if you try to avoid fatalities such as illness,
death or misfortune, over which you have no real
control, you and those around you will suffer.
Desire and aversion, though powerful, are nothing
more than habits. And we can exercise ourselves in
having better habits. Restrict the habit of being
rejected by all those things that are beyond your
control and focus, instead, on the harmful things that
you can combat. Do everything in your power to curb
the desire. Well, if you want something that is beyond
your control, you will surely end up disappointed;
Meanwhile, you will be neglecting the things that are
under your control and that are worthy of desire.
Of course, there are times when for practical reasons
we must pursue some things and govern others, but we
must do so with elegance, discernment and flexibility.

Let's see things as they really are

Circumstances do not present themselves to meet our
expectations. Things happen by themselves. People
behave as they are. Take advantage of what you really
get.
Open your eyes: you have to see things as they are and
thus you will save yourself the pain of false
connections and avoidable disappointment.
Think about what delights you, the tools you have, the
people you love. But remember that they have their
own specific character, which has little or nothing to
do with the way we see it. As an exercise, think about
the most insignificant thing to which you feel
attached. Let's say, for example, you have a favorite
drink.
After all, it's just a cup, so if it breaks you can handle
it. Next, take a thing or a person for whom your
feelings and thoughts of attachment are most intense.
Remember, for example, when you hug your child,
your husband, your wife, that you are hugging a
mortal. Thus, if one of them died, you could bear it
with fortitude.
When something happens, the only thing that is in
your hand is the attitude you take about it; You can
either accept it or take it the wrong way.
What really frightens and discourages us is not the
external events themselves, but the way we think
about them. It is not things that upset us, but our
interpretation of their meaning.
Stop scaring yourself with impetuous ideas, with your
impressions of the way things are!
Things and people are not what we want them to be or
what they seem to be. They are what they are.
Harmonize your actions with life as it really is. Don't
try to establish your own rules.
Always behave in all matters, large and public or
small and private, in accordance with the laws of
nature. Harmony between your will and nature should
be your supreme ideal.
Where to practice this ideal? In the details of everyday
life, in personal tasks and duties. When you carry out a
task, such as taking a bath, do it as well as you can, in
harmony with nature. When you eat, eat as well as you
can, in harmony with nature, and so on.
It's not so much about what you're doing as it is about
how you're doing it. As long as we correctly
understand this principle and live according to it, even
if difficulties arise (for they are also part of the divine
order), inner peace remains possible.

Events do not harm us, but our vision of them can

harm us.
Things, by themselves, do not harm us or hinder us.
Neither do other people. How we see things is another
matter. It is our attitudes and reactions that cause us
problems.
Therefore, even death is not of great importance in
itself. It is our concept of death, our idea, what is
terrible, what terrifies us. There are very different
ways of thinking about death. Thoroughly examine
your concepts about death and everything else. Are
they really true? Do they do you any good? Do not
fear death and pain; fears the fear of death and pain.
We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we
can always choose how to react to them.

Neither shame nor guilt

If it is how we feel about things that torments us, more
than the things themselves, it is absurd to blame
others. Therefore, when we suffer a setback,
discomfort or affliction, we do not blame others, but
rather our own attitude. Petty people often blame
others for their own misfortune. Most people blame
themselves for this. Those who devote themselves to a
life of wisdom understand that the impulse to blame
something or someone is foolish, that nothing is
gained by blaming others or oneself.
One of the signs that announce the dawn of moral
progress is the gradual extinction of guilt. We see the
futility of the accusation. The more we examine our
attitudes and work on ourselves, the less susceptible
we are to being swept away by stormy emotional
reactions in which we look for easy explanations for
spontaneous events.
Things are simply what they are. Let the rest think
what they want; It's not our business. Neither shame
nor guilt.

Create your own merit

Never depend on the admiration of others. It has no
value. Personal merit cannot come from an external
source. You will not find it in personal relationships,
nor in the esteem of others. It is a proven fact that
people, even those who love you, will not necessarily
agree with your ideas, understand you or share your
enthusiasm. Grow up! Who cares what other people
think of you!
Create your own merit.
Personal merit cannot be achieved through
relationships with people of great excellence. You
have been entrusted with a task that you must carry
out. Get to work, do the best you can and ignore
anyone who may be watching you.
Do useful work while remaining indifferent to the
honor and admiration your efforts may arouse in
others. Other people's merit does not exist.
The triumphs and excellences of others belong to them
alone. Likewise, your possessions may be excellent,
but your person will not acquire excellence through
them.
Think about it: what is really yours? The use you
make of the ideas, resources and opportunities that are
presented to you. Do you have books? Read them.
Learn from them. Apply your wisdom. Do you have
specialized knowledge? Use them thoroughly and to
good effect. Do you have tools? Take them out of the
box and build or repair things. Do you have a good
idea? Dig into it and carry it out. Make the most of
what you have, what is truly yours.
You can be reasonably comfortable and content with
yourself if you harmonize your actions with nature by
recognizing what is truly yours.

Focus on your main duty

There is a time and place for fun and entertainment,
but you should never allow these to override your true
purposes. If you are traveling and the ship drops
anchor in a port, you can go ashore in search of shells
or plants. But be careful; Be attentive to the captain's
call. Pay attention to the ship. Getting distracted by
trifles is the easiest thing in the world. As soon as the
captain calls on board, you must be ready to abandon
such distractions and come promptly, without even
looking back.
If you are elderly, do not go too far from the ship or
you may not be able to show up on time when called.

Calmly accept events as they occur

Don't demand that events happen the way you want.
Accept them as they really are. This way peace will be
possible for you.

Your will is always under your power

Truly nothing stops you. Nothing really holds you
back, since your will is always under your control.
Illness can challenge your body. But are you just
body?
Lameness can affect your legs. But you're not just
legs. Your will is greater than your legs. Your will
does not have to be affected by any incident, unless
you allow it. Remember it every time something
happens to you.

Make full use of what happens to you

Every difficulty we encounter in life offers us the
opportunity to turn inward and call upon our intimate
resources. The trials we endure can and should make
us know our strength.
Wise people look beyond the incident and try to form
the habit of taking advantage of it.
On the occasion of an accidental event, you should not
limit yourself to reacting at will: remember to turn
inward and ask yourself what resources you have to
deal with it. Go deeper. You possess forces that
perhaps you do not yet know. Find the most
appropriate one. Use it.
If you bump into an attractive person, self-control will
be the necessary resource; in the face of pain or
weakness, endurance; in the face of insults, patience.
As time goes by and you consolidate the habit of
matching the most appropriate intimate resource to
each incident, you will stop tending to get carried
away by the appearances of life. You will stop feeling
overwhelmed so often.

Take care of what you have, there is nothing to

lose. Truly nothing can be taken from us. Nothing to
lose. Inner peace begins when we stop saying, about
things, “I have lost him,” and instead say, “He has
returned to the place from which he came.” Has your
son died? He or she has returned to where he or she
came from. Has your husband or wife died? He or she
has returned to where he or she came from. Have
possessions and property been taken from you? These
too have returned to the place from which they came.
Maybe you are angry because a bad person stole your
belongings. But why should you care who returns your
things to the world that gave them to you?
The important thing is to be very careful with the
things you have while the world allows you to have
them, just as a traveler takes care of his room in an
inn.
The good life is the life of inner serenity
The clearest sign of a higher life is serenity. Moral
progress results in freedom from inner confusion. You
can stop worrying about this and that.
If you seek a higher life, refrain from using habitual
thought patterns like these: "If I don't work harder, I'll
never make a good living, no one will take notice of
me, I'll be a nobody," or "If I don't criticize my boss,
"He will take advantage of my good will."
It is far better to starve free from regret and fear than
to live in abundance plagued by worry, dread,
suspicion, and unbridled desire.
Immediately embark on a self-control program. But
start with modesty, for those little things that bother
you. Has your child spilled something? Can't find your
wallet? You must say to yourself: “Facing this
inconvenience calmly is the price I pay for my inner
serenity, for being free from all disturbance; "No one
gets something for nothing." When you call your
child, you should be prepared that he may not answer
you, and if he does, he may not do what you ask. In
that case, your concern does not help him at all. Your
child should not have the power to cause you any
disorder.

Don't pay any attention to things that don't

concern you
Spiritual progress requires us to emphasize what is
essential and ignore everything else, since it is only
trivialities that do not deserve our attention. Besides,
it's actually a good thing that they consider us stupid
and naive in relation to
with matters that do not concern us. Don't worry about
the impression you make on others. They are dazzled
and deceived by appearances. Be faithful to your goal.
Only in this way will you strengthen your will and
give coherence to your life.
Refrain from trying to gain the approval and
admiration of others. Your path goes higher. Don't
long to be considered sophisticated, unique or wise. In
fact, you should be wary when others see you as
someone special. Be on guard against presumption
and vanity.
Keeping the will in harmony with the truth and
worrying about what is beyond one's control are
mutually exclusive actions. When you are absorbed in
one, you will neglect the other.

Conform your desires and expectations to reality

For better or worse, life and nature are governed by
laws that we cannot change. The sooner we accept it,
the calmer we will be. You would be a fool if you
wanted your children or your wife to live forever.
They are mortal, just like you, and the law of mortality
is completely out of your reach.
Similarly, it is stupid to wish that an employer, a
relative, or a friend is blameless. This would mean
controlling things that we really cannot control.
It is within our control that we will not be
disappointed by the desire if we deal with it according
to the facts, instead of being carried away by it. Deep
down we are controlled by that which grants or
suppresses what we seek or avoid. If freedom is what
you seek, do not desire or shun anything that depends
on others, or you will always be a helpless slave.
Understand what freedom really is and how it is
achieved. Freedom is not the right or ability to do
whatever you want. Freedom comes from
understanding the limits of your own power and the
natural limits set by divine providence. By accepting
the limitations and inevitabilities of life and working
with them rather than fighting them, we set ourselves
free. If, on the other hand, we succumb to the passing
desire for things that are beyond our control, we lose
freedom.

Take life as if it were a banquet Think of life as if it

were a banquet in which you behave with courtesy.
When the trays are passed to you, extend your hand
and help yourself to a moderate portion. If a dish
passes you by, enjoy what you have on your plate.
And if a delicacy has not yet been offered to you, wait
patiently for your turn.
Maintain this same attitude of polite restraint and
gratitude with your children, your wife, your career,
and your finances. There is no need to crave, envy or
appropriate anything. You will get just the right
portion when the time comes.
The lives of Diogenes and Heraclitus were impeccable
models of following these principles. Make it a point
to follow their valuable example.

Avoid adopting the negative points of view of

others
The points of view and problems of others can be
contagious. Do not commit sabotage against yourself
unconsciously by adopting negative and unproductive
attitudes as a result of your dealings with third parties.
If you encounter a heartbroken friend, a grieving
relative, or a colleague who has suffered a reversal of
fortune, try not to be overcome by the apparent
misfortune. Remember to discriminate between the
facts themselves and their interpretation. Remind
yourself of this: "What hurts this person is not the
event itself, since another person might not feel at all
oppressed by the same situation. What is hurting him
or her is the response that he or she has adopted
without any critical sense.
Contributing to stubborn negative feelings is not a
demonstration of kindness or friendship toward those
we care about. We will be much more useful, both to
others and to ourselves, if we stay out of it and avoid
melodramatic reactions.
Still, if you find yourself talking to someone who is
depressed, hurt, or frustrated, show kindness and listen
compassionately, but don't let it end up bringing you
down too.

Always play the role assigned to you well

We are like the actors in a play. The divine will has
assigned us roles in life without consulting us. Some
of us will act in a short drama; others, in a long one.
We may be assigned the role of poor person, cripple,
distinguished celebrity, leader, or ordinary citizen.
Although we cannot control the role assigned to us,
our aim should be to play the assigned role as well as
possible and refrain from complaining about it.
Wherever he goes and under any circumstances, he
delivers an impeccable performance. If you have to
read, read; If you have to be a writer, write.

Everything happens for a good reason

Tell me what you think and I'll tell you who you are.
Avoid superstitions that lead you to give events
powers or meanings that they lack. Don't lose your
head. Our busy minds are always drawing
conclusions, manufacturing and interpreting signs that
do not exist.
Think, instead, that everything that happens to you,
happens for some good. That if you have decided to be
happy, you are happy. Every event carries some
benefit for you; you just have to look for it.

Happiness can only be found within

Freedom is the only worthwhile goal in life. It is
achieved by doing away with things that are beyond
our control. We cannot have a joyful heart if our
minds are an afflicted cauldron of fear and ambition.
Do you want to be invincible? So don't engage in
combat with what you have no real control over.
Happiness depends on three things, and all three are
under your power: the will, the ideas regarding the
events in which you are involved, and the use you
make of those ideas.
Authentic happiness is always independent of external
circumstances. Practice indifference to external
circumstances. Happiness can only be found within.
How easily we are dazzled and deceived by
eloquence, positions, titles, honors, possessions,
expensive clothes or an affable demeanor.
Don't make the mistake of assuming that celebrities,
public figures, political leaders, the wealthy, or those
with great intellectual or artistic gifts are necessarily
happy. To do so is to allow yourself to be baffled by
appearances and will only make you doubt yourself.
Remember: the real essence of goodness is only found
among the things that are under your control. If you do
not forget this premise, you will not find yourself
falsely feeling envy or desolation, regrettably
comparing your achievements with those of others.
Stop aspiring to be other than yourself, for this is
under your control.
Nobody can hurt you
People don't have the power to hurt you. Even if you
are loudly denigrated or beaten, if you are insulted, it
is your decision to consider whether what is
happening is insulting or not. When someone irritates
you, the only thing irritating you is yourself.
answer. Therefore, when you feel like someone is
provoking you, remember that the only thing that is
provoking you is your own judgment of the incident.
Don't allow your emotions to flare up at mere
appearances.
Try not to just react instantly. Take distance from the
situation in order to have a broader perspective. Calm
down.

Spiritual progress involves facing death and

calamities
Instead of looking away from painful life events, look
them in the face and think about them often. By facing
the realities of death, illness, loss and disappointment,
you free yourself from false illusions and hopes, while
avoiding unhappy and envious thoughts.

Instill in your mind the ideals that you should

cherish. Stay united to what is spiritually superior,
regardless of what others do and say. Be true to your
true aspirations no matter what happens around you.
Those who seek a life of prudence will be mocked
Those who seek a higher life of prudence, those who
aspire to live true to their spiritual principles, must be
prepared to be mocked and condemned.
Many people who progressively lower the bar on their
personal aspirations in an attempt to gain social
acceptance and more comfort in life end up bitterly
resentful of those who are philosophically inclined and
refuse to compromise their spiritual ideals in their
quest to better themselves. Never live according to
these unfortunate souls. Pity them while standing firm
in what you know is good.
When you begin your program of spiritual progress,
people around you will likely mock you and accuse
you of arrogance.
Your task is to behave with humility and be consistent
with your moral ideals. Hold on to what you know in
your heart is right. Thus, if you are constant, the same
people who made fun of you will end up admiring
you.
But if you allow malicious opinions to make you
waver in your resolutions, you will incur a double
fault.

Wanting to please others is a dangerous trap

When we try to please others, we find ourselves
misdirected toward what is outside our area of
influence. By doing so we lose control over our life's
purpose.
Be content to be a lover of prudence, a seeker of truth.
Return again and again to what is essential and
valuable.
Don't try to appear wise in the eyes of others. If you
want to live a life of prudence, live it on your terms
and with your own eyes.

Character Matters More Than Reputation

Worry and fear are a waste of time and do not set a
good example. This is especially true when it comes to
your reputation and influence. Why live in fear of
things like whether you will gain public recognition in
your profession or community, or whether you will get
the opportunities and rewards that others get?

Don't worry about questions like "People don't think

highly of me, I'm a nobody." Even if your reputation
were a matter of importance, you are not responsible
for what others think of you. What real difference does
it make to your character and well-being if you enjoy
an advantageous position or are invited to fancy
parties? None. So what discredit can there be in not
being a power broker or a celebrity? And why should
you worry about whether you're a nobody when what
matters is being someone in the areas of life over
which you have control and in which you can make a
real difference?
"But without power and reputation I won't be able to
help my friends," you might say. It is true that you will
not give them access to money or the corridors of
power. But does anyone really expect this kind of help
from you and not from someone else? How can they
expect you to give something you don't have? "Still, it
would be great to have power and money to share with
my friends." If I can become rich and powerful while
maintaining my honor, loyalty to family, friends,
principles and self-love, tell me how to do it and I will
do it. But if I have to sacrifice my personal integrity,
it's stupid and ridiculous for you to continue
encouraging me. On the other hand, if you had to
choose between a certain amount of money or having
a loyal and honorable friend, which would you
choose? It is better that you help me be a good person
instead of inciting me to do things that threaten my
good character.
"Well, what about my obligations to the country?"
What do you mean? Do you mean making large
donations to charities or erecting exorbitant buildings,
is that what it is about? A metal worker does not make
shoes and a shoemaker does not make weapons. It is
enough for everyone to do what they have to do well.
"What if there is someone else who does the same
thing as me?" That's okay, your contribution won't be
any less valuable. "But what about my position in
society?" you ask. Any position that you can maintain
while maintaining honor and fidelity to your
obligations is fine. But if your desire to contribute to
society compromises your moral responsibility, how
can you serve your fellow citizens if you have become
an irresponsible scoundrel?
It is better to be a good person and fulfill your
obligations than to have renown and power.

Everything has a price

Does anyone enjoy privileges, opportunities or honors
that you desire? If the privileges they have achieved
are good, delight in the enjoyment of those who
possess them. It is your time of prosperity. If the
privileges are bad, you shouldn't worry that they don't
belong to you.
Remember: you will never get the same rewards as
others if you don't use the same methods and invest
the same time as them. It is not reasonable to think
that we can obtain a reward if we are not willing to
pay its price. The person who "wins" at something has
no real advantage over you, since they had to pay the
price of the reward. It is always in our hands to decide
whether or not we want to pay the price for life's
rewards. And it is often better for us not to pay it,
since such a price could buy our integrity. We might
be forced to praise someone for whom we have no
respect.

Make the will of nature yours

Discover the will of nature. Study it, pay attention to it
and make it yours.
The will of nature is revealed to us through
experiences common to all. For example, if a
neighbor's child breaks a bowl or something like that,
we readily say, "These things happen." When the bowl
that breaks is yours, you should respond the same way
you do when someone else's bowl breaks.
Transfer this premise to matters of greater emotional
and material importance. That someone else's child,
wife or other loved one dies? In such circumstances,
anyone can say: “It is the cycle of life. Death comes
sooner or later. There are inevitable things.
But when the person who dies is our child or our love,
we tend to exclaim: "Woe is me! How unfortunate I
am!
same to another person. Transfer that feeling to your
current circumstances. Learn to accept events, even
death, with intelligence.

Self-control is the goal to which the divine will

wants us to aspire.
Evil does not reside naturally in the world, in events or
in people. Evil is a consequence of carelessness,
laziness or distraction: it appears when we lose sight
of the true purpose of our life.
When we remember that the purpose is spiritual
progress, we once again strive to be the best we can
be. This is how happiness is achieved.
Value your mind, appreciate your reason, stay true
to your purpose
Don't give up your mind.
If someone tried to casually offer your body to any
passerby, you would naturally be furious.

So why don't you have any shame in lending your

valuable mind to anyone who wishes to influence
you? Think twice before giving your mind to someone
who may insult you, leaving you confused and upset.

Consider what comes first, then what follows, and

then act.
Cultivate the habit of studying and examining a future
action before taking it. Before acting, step back to
have a broader vision, so as not to act lightly on
impulse. Of
Finish what happens first, consider where it leads, and
then act on what you've learned.
When we act without prudence, we can begin a task
with great enthusiasm; Then, when unforeseen or
unwanted consequences appear, we withdraw in
shame and regret: “I would have done this; I could
have done the other; "I should have done it
differently."
Let's say you want to get a medal in the Olympic
Games. That's all well and good, but you have to take
into consideration what you're getting involved in.
What does a desire like this entail? What is the first
thing you should do? And then? What are they going
to demand of you? And what is derived from it? Will
this line of action be really beneficial to you? If it is,
go ahead.
If you want to win at the Olympic Games, to prepare
properly you will have to follow a strict program that
will push you to the limit of your endurance. You will
have to submit to very demanding standards, follow a
proper diet, forget about sweets and desserts, train
conscientiously and regularly whether it is hot or cold,
and stop drinking. You will have to obey your coach's
instructions as if they were those of a doctor. Then,
once you're already competing, there's a pretty good
chance you'll be thrown to the curb. You can hurt your
arm, sprain your ankle, fall face first into the mud; and
after going through all this, you may fail.
After contemplating all these possibilities, paying
attention to all the things that can happen and their
consequences, if your resolve remains firm, you must
exercise your judgment. If on the whole you still think
it suits you, participate in the Games, and do it with all
your heart.
By seeing things in perspective you establish the
difference between yourself and the dilettante, the
person who plays anything as long as it is comfortable
or interesting. That is not a noble position. Think
carefully about things and commit fully. Otherwise
you will be like a child who sometimes thinks he is a
fighter, sometimes a soldier, sometimes a musician,
and sometimes the actor in a tragedy.
Unless we give ourselves completely to our efforts, we
will be empty and superficial people and will never
develop our natural talents. We have all known people
who, like monkeys, imitate anything that seems novel
and striking at a given moment. But soon after, his
enthusiasm and effort falter; They abandon their
projects as soon as they become too familiar or
demanding.
A half-hearted spirit has no power. Faltering efforts
lead to faltering results. People usually jump into a
company headlong and without thinking. Perhaps they
will encounter an exemplary figure like Euphrates and
receive inspiration to improve themselves. It is all
very well to do so, but first you must examine the true
nature of your aspirations and measure them against
your capabilities.
Be honest with yourself. Clearly assess your strengths
and weaknesses. Do you have what it takes to
compete? To be a wrestler, for example, requires
extraordinary strength in the shoulders, back, and
thighs. Do you have the physical skill and agility to be
among the best in this discipline? It's one thing to
want to be a champion and do something skillfully; It's
another to actually be one and do it with consummate
skill. Everyone is made for a different thing.
Just as it takes certain skills to be successful in a
specific field, it also requires certain sacrifices. If you
long to become skilled in the art of living prudently,
do you think you can eat and drink excessively? Do
you think you can continue to succumb to anger and
your habits of frustration and unhappiness? No. If true
wisdom is your goal and you are sincere, you will
have to work on yourself. You will have to overcome
many harmful cravings and many reflex actions.
You'll have to reconsider who you deal with. Are your
friends and colleagues worth it? Does their influence
(their habits, values and behavior) contribute to
elevating you or rather reinforce your neglect of the
habits you want to get rid of? The life of wisdom, like
anything else, has a price. By following it you can be
mocked and even end up getting the short end of the
stick in all aspects of public life, including career,
social standing, and legal standing in court.
Once you have properly examined all the details
involved in the effort to enjoy a higher life, venture
forth as bitterly as possible. Make the necessary
sacrifices that are the price of the most valuable of
goals: freedom, equanimity, and tranquility. However,
if when assessing your mettle you realize that you are
not capable or willing, free yourself from deception
and take a different, more realistic path.
If you try to be something you are not or strive to
achieve something that is beyond your means, you
will end up as a pathetic dilettante who has first tried
to be a prudent man, then a bureaucrat, then a
politician, and then a municipal leader. These papers
are not coherent. You cannot take flight in infinite
directions, no matter how attractive they may be, and
at the same time live in an integral and fruitful way.
You can only be one person, whether good or bad.
You have two basic choices. Either you prepare to
develop reason, being faithful to the truth, or you
crave external goods. The choice is solely and
exclusively yours. You can use your qualities in a
internal work or lose yourself in the exterior, or what
is the same, be a prudent person, or follow the beaten
paths of mediocrity.

Relationships with others reveal our duties

You are not an isolated entity, but a unique and
irreplaceable part of the cosmos. Do not forget. You
are an essential piece of the puzzle of humanity. We
are all part of a vast, intricate and perfectly ordered
human community. But where do you fit in this web
of humanity? Who are you obligated to?
Find out what they are and understand your
relationships with other people. By recognizing
natural relationships and identifying duties we define
our situation in the cosmic scheme. Duties result
naturally from such fundamental relationships as
family, neighborhood, workplace, and state or nation.
You must get into the habit of regularly examining
your roles (parent, child, neighbor, citizen, leader) and
the natural duties they entail. Once you know who you
are and who you are linked to, you will know what to
do.
If a man is your father, for example, you must meet
certain emotional and practical demands. The fact that
he is your father implies a fundamental and lasting
bond between the two of you. By nature you are
obliged to take care of him, to listen to his advice, to
be patient with his opinions and respect his
instructions.
However, let's assume that you are not a good father.
Maybe he is foolish, ignorant, rude, or holds opinions
very different from yours. Does nature give everyone
the ideal father, or even a father? When it comes to the
fundamental duty as a son or daughter, your father's
character, personality and habits, whatever they may
be, are secondary. The divine order does not design
people or circumstances to our liking. Whether you
like it or not, that man is, after all, your father, and you
must fulfill your filial obligations.
Let's say you have a brother or sister who treats you
badly. What difference does it make? There remains
the moral imperative to recognize and maintain your
fundamental duties to him or her. Don't focus on what
he or she does, but on following your high purpose.
Your purpose should seek harmony with nature. For
this is the true path to freedom. Let others act as they
want; In any case, that is beyond your control and
therefore does not concern you. Understand that nature
as a whole is ordered according to reason, but that not
everything in nature is reasonable.
When you put effort into carrying out actions typical
of a wise and prudent person, trying to conform your
intentions and actions to the divine will, you do not
feel like a victim of the words or actions of others. At
worst, those words and actions will seem funny or
regrettable.
Except in the case of extreme physical abuse, others
cannot harm you unless you allow them to. And this
remains true even if the person in question is your
father, brother, sister, teacher or employer. Don't let
them hurt you and they won't. You do have control
over this choice.
Most people tend to fool themselves into thinking that
freedom consists of doing what makes you feel good
or what promotes well-being and peace of mind. The
truth is that whoever subordinates reason to the
sensation of the moment is, in fact, a slave to his
desires and aversions. He is ill-prepared to act
effectively and nobly when unexpected challenges
arise, which they inevitably do. True freedom
demands a lot from us. Only if we discover and
understand our fundamental relationships and
enthusiastically fulfill our duty, true happiness, to
which everyone aspires, will be effectively possible.

The essence of fidelity

The essence of fidelity lies above all in holding correct
opinions and attitudes regarding the absolute.
Remember that the divine order is intelligent and
fundamentally good. Life is not a series of random and
meaningless episodes, but rather an orderly and
elegant whole that obeys fundamentally
understandable laws.
The divine will exists and directs the universe with
justice and goodness. Although it may not always
seem like it—if we just look at the surface of things—
the universe in which we live is the best possible
universe.
Make the resolution to expect justice, goodness and
order, and they will progressively reveal themselves to
you in all your affairs. Trust that there is a divine
intelligence whose intentions direct the universe.
Make it your supreme goal to govern your life
according to the will of the divine order.
When you strive to conform your intentions and
actions to the divine order, you will not feel harassed,
helpless, confused or confused by the circumstances of
your life. You will feel strong, determined and
confident.
Fidelity is not blind belief; It consists of constantly
practicing the principle of avoiding things that are not
under our control, allowing them to be resolved
according to the natural system of responsibilities.
Stop trying to anticipate or control events. Accept
them, instead, with grace and intelligence.
It is impossible to remain faithful to an ordered
purpose if you tend to imagine that things beyond your
power are inherently good or bad. When this happens,
the habit of blaming external factors for our lot in life
is simply established, and we get lost in a negative
spiral of envy, discord, disgust, anger and reproach.
For by nature all creatures reject things that will harm
them and seek and admire those that seem good and
beneficial.
The second aspect of faithfulness is the importance of
prudently observing the customs of our family, our
country, and our local community.
Participate in the rituals of your community with a
pure heart, without greed or extravagance. By doing
so, you join the spiritual order of your people and
advance the essential aspirations of humanity.
Faithfulness is the antidote to bitterness and confusion
and gives us the conviction to be prepared for
whatever the divine will destines us. We must aspire
to see the world as an integral whole, faithfully incline
our entire being towards the highest good, and adopt
the will of nature as if it were our own.

Events are, by themselves, impersonal and

indifferent
As you contemplate the future, remember that all
situations unfold the way they do regardless of how
they make us feel. Our hopes and fears influence us,
not events.
Undisciplined people, driven by their personal
antipathies and sympathies, are always looking for
signs to build or reinforce their thoughtless points of
view and opinions. But events, by themselves, are
impersonal, although judicious people certainly can
and should respond to such events in helpful ways.
Instead of personalizing a situation ("it's my triumph,"
"it was his mistake," or "it's my bitter misfortune") and
drawing scathing conclusions about yourself or human
nature, find ways to make good use of certain aspects
of the event. Is there any non-obvious benefit
contained in that event that an exercised eye can
discern? Pay attention; be a detective. You may learn a
lesson that you can apply to a similar case in the
future.
In no event, no matter how horrible it may seem, there
is nothing that prevents us from looking for that
hidden opportunity. Failure to do so represents a
failure of imagination. But looking for opportunity
sometimes requires a lot of courage, since most of the
people around you will persist in interpreting events in
the crudest terms: success or failure, good or bad, right
or wrong. These simplistic and polarized categories
overshadow other, more relative (and useful)
interpretations of events that are much more
advantageous and interesting.
The prudent man knows that it is fruitless to project
one's hopes and fears into the future. Doing so only
leads to creating mental melodramatic representations
and wasting time.
At the same time, one should not show passive
acquiescence to the future and what it holds. Simply
doing nothing does not avoid risk, but rather increases
it.
There is a time to plan wisely and make provisions for
future situations. Properly preparing for the future is
about adopting good personal habits. This is done by
actively pursuing the good in all aspects of daily life
and regularly examining the reasons that move you, to
ensure that they are free from the shackles of fear,
greed and laziness. If you do, external events will stop
shaking you. Exercise your intentions instead of
fooling yourself into thinking you can manipulate
external events. If prayer or meditation helps you,
practice them. But seek divine counsel only when the
application of your own reason produces no answer,
when you have exhausted all other means.
What is a “good” event? What is a "bad" event? Such
things do not exist! what is a good person? The one
who achieves tranquility after adopting the habit of
asking herself on every occasion "what is right?"

Never repress a generous impulse

Carry out all your generous impulses. Don't question
them, especially if a friend needs you; acts on your
behalf. Do not hesitate!
Don't entertain speculation about possible problems or
dangers. As long as you let reason show you the way,
you will be safe.
Your duty is to be willing to help your friends in times
of trouble.
Clearly define the person you want to be
Who exactly do you want to be? What kind of person
do you want to be? What are your personal ideals?
Who you admire? Which of its characteristic features
would you like to make your own?
It's time to stop being lazy. If you want to become an
extraordinary person, if you want to be wise, you have
to explicitly identify the type of person you want to
be. If you keep a journal, write down what you are
trying to be so you can use that self-definition as a
reference. Describe precisely the behavior you want to
adopt, so that you can observe it both when you are
alone and with other people.

Speak only with good intentions

Much attention is paid to the moral importance of acts
and their consequences. Those who aspire to a higher
life also come to understand the often overlooked
moral power of words.
One of the clearest signs of moral life is to speak
correctly. Perfecting the way of speaking is one of the
cornerstones of any spiritual program worth its salt.
Above all, think before you speak to make sure you
speak with good intentions. Going off the tongue is a
lack of respect for others. Discovering yourself lightly
is a lack of self-respect. Many people feel compelled
to express any feelings, thoughts or impressions they
have. They pour out the contents of their minds at
random, indifferent to the consequences. This is
dangerous in both a practical and moral sense. If we
gossip about every idea that occurs to us, whether big
or small, we can easily waste, in the trivial course of
idle talk, ideas that have real qualities.
Unrestrained talk is like lurching in an uncontrolled
vehicle destined to fall into the ditch.
If necessary, keep quiet or speak in moderation.
Speech in itself is neither good nor bad, but it is so
often used carelessly that you should be on your
guard. Frivolous talk is hurtful talk; Furthermore, it is
improper to be a charlatan. Enter into discussion when
a social or professional occasion requires it, but be
cautious and ensure that the spirit and purpose of the
conversation, as well as its content, are still
worthwhile. The chatter is seductive. Don't get caught
by its claws.
It is not necessary to limit yourself to lofty or
philosophical topics all the time, but be careful that the
common chatter that passes for worthwhile discussion
does not have corrosive effects on your high purpose.
When we talk nonsense about trivial things, we
ourselves become trivial, for attention is absorbed in
trivialities. We become what we pay attention to.
We become petty when we engage in conversation
about third parties. In particular, avoid accusing,
praising, or comparing people.
If you notice that the conversation you are immersed
in is drifting toward verbiage, try, whenever possible,
to subtly steer it back toward more constructive topics.
However, if you find yourself among indifferent
strangers, you can simply remain silent.
Maintain good humor and enjoy a laugh when
appropriate, but avoid the weak barroom laughter that
usually degenerates into vulgarity or malevolence.
Laugh with, but never at.
Whenever you can, avoid making idle promises.

Stay away from popular entertainment

Almost everything that is accepted as legitimate
entertainment is inferior or ridiculous and only caters
to or exploits people's weaknesses. Try not to be part
of the crowd that indulges in such hobbies. Life is too
short and you have important things to do. Be
judicious with the images and ideas you allow into
your mind. If you do not choose for yourself what
thoughts and images you expose yourself to, someone
else will, and their motives may not be the highest.
The easiest thing in this world is to slide imperceptibly
into vulgarity. But this doesn't have to happen if you
make the determination not to waste your time and
attention on nonsense.

Beware of companies
Regardless of what others claim, they may not actually
live by spiritual values. Watch who you interact with.
Imitating the habits of those we deal with is human.
Without realizing it, we adopt their interests, opinions,
values and way of interpreting events. There are many
people who, even with good intentions, continue to
have a detrimental influence on you because they do
not know how to distinguish between what is worth it
and what is not.
Just because people are nice to you doesn't mean you
should spend time with them. Just because they look
for you and are interested in you and your affairs does
not mean that you should interact with them. Be
selective when making new friends, colleagues and
neighbors. All of those people can have effects on
your destiny.
The world is full of nice and talented people. The key
is to associate only with people who lift you up, whose
presence brings out the best in you. But remember that
the influence
Morality is a two-way street, and that is why we must
ensure that our thoughts, words and actions constitute
a positive influence on those with whom we deal. The
true test of personal excellence lies in the attention we
pay to the small details of conduct, which we so often
neglect.
We must regularly ask ourselves: "How do thoughts,
words and actions affect my friends, my wife, my
neighbor, my child, my employer, my subordinates,
my fellow citizens?" Am I doing something to
contribute to the spiritual progress of all those with
whom I come in contact? Make it your own to bring
out the best in others by leading by example.
Take care of your body, but don't flaunt it. Respect
your body's needs. Provide him with the best care to
promote his health and well-being. Give him
absolutely everything he needs, including healthy food
and drink, decent clothing, and a warm, comfortable
home. However, do not use your body as an occasion
for display or luxury.

Refrain from defending your reputation or your

intentions. Don't be afraid of insults or criticism. Only
the morally weak feel obliged to defend or explain
themselves to others. Let the quality of your actions
speak on your behalf. We cannot control the
impression that others form of us, and striving to do so
only degrades character.
So, if someone tells you that a certain person has been
criticizing you, don't bother making excuses or
defending yourself. Just smile and respond, “I guess
that person doesn't know about my other flaws.
Otherwise I would not have mentioned only those.

Behave with dignity

Wherever you are, always behave as if you were a
distinguished person.
Although many people's behavior is dictated by what
is happening around them, you hold yourself to a
higher level. Try to avoid parties or games where
thoughtless revelry and revelry are the norm. If you
find yourself at a public event, stay grounded in your
purposes and ideals.

Materialize your personal ideals by emulating

exemplary characters
One of the best ways to immediately elevate character
is to find exemplary characters worth emulating. If
you have the opportunity to meet an important person,
don't be nervous. Invoke the characteristics of the
people you admire most, adopt their manners, their
speech and their behavior as if they were your own.
There is nothing false in it. We all carry the seeds of
greatness within us, but we need an image as a
reference point so that they can sprout. At the same
time, the fact of knowing a person of great merit does
not mean that you should be more afraid than
necessary. People are just people, despite their talent
or influence.

Exercise discretion when conversing

Presumption is not the style of the true philosopher.
No one enjoys the company of a braggart. Therefore,
do not burden others with enthusiastic tales of your
exploits. No one cares much about your battles and
adventures, and if they indulge you for a while it is
merely out of politeness. Talking frequently and
excessively about one's own achievements is tiring
and pretentious.
You don't have to be the class clown. Nor do you need
to resort to other indelicate methods to convince others
that you are smart, sophisticated, or personable.
Aggressive, easy or ostentatious talk should be
avoided at all costs. Well, the esteem that your
acquaintances profess for you decreases.
Many people pepper their speech with obscenities in
an attempt to give strength and intensity to what they
say or to make others uncomfortable. Refuse to
continue such conversations. When people around you
start talking insubstantial and indecent, leave if you
can, or at least keep silent and let the seriousness of
your look show that you are offended by the
coarseness of their language.

Prefers lasting satisfaction over immediate

gratification
Let reason be supreme.
Inculcate the habit of deliberation.
Practice the art of testing whether things are actually
good or not. Learn to wait and evaluate instead of
always reacting based on inexperienced instinct.
Spontaneity is not a virtue in itself.
If you are seduced by the promise of any pleasure,
take a step back and give yourself some time before
going for it without thinking. Lose your passion and
give it a
a couple of turns to the matter: will this pleasure give
me momentary delight or real and lasting satisfaction?
The quality of life and the type of person we become
changes substantially when we learn to distinguish
between cheap thrills and meaningful, lasting rewards.
If, upon calmly considering the pleasure in question,
you realize that if you abandon yourself to it you will
regret it, abstain and enjoy the control over yourself.
Strengthen the triumph of your character and you will
become stronger.

Take a firm attitude

After deliberating and determining that a course of
action is sound, never question your judgment.
Support your decision. There is a possibility that there
are people who misinterpret your intentions and may
censor you. But if in your opinion you are acting
correctly, you have nothing to fear. Adopt a firm
attitude. Don't be cowardly and evasive.

Courtesy and logic each have their place

Decorum and logic are different things and each has
an appropriate application.
The proposition "either it's white or it's black" works
very well in disjunctive reasoning, but not so much in
a conversation between friends. Likewise, at a banquet
it may make sense to serve yourself the largest portion
of food if you are really hungry, but doing so is rude.
When sharing the table with others, pay attention not
only to how much your body appreciates the delicacies
offered to you, but also to the importance of good
manners and personal refinement.
Self-control depends on honesty with yourself
Above all, you must know who you are and what you
are capable of. Just as nothing great is created in an
instant, the same goes for perfecting our talents and
abilities. We are always learning, we are always
growing. The right thing to do is to accept the
challenges. This is how you progress to the next level
of intellectual, physical or moral development. Don't
get your hopes up, though: if you try to be something
or someone you're not, you dwarf your true self and
end up not developing in fields where you might
naturally excel.
In the divine order each one has his vocation. Discover
yours and follow it faithfully.

Protect reason
Just as when you walk you try not to step on a nail or
twist your ankle, you should take great care not to
damage the supreme faculty of the mind under any
circumstances. The virtuous life depends above all on
reason. If you protect reason, it will protect you.

Observe prudence and moderation

Through vigilance we can anticipate the tendency to
excess. A person's possessions should be proportional
to the needs of his body, just as a shoe fits the foot.
Without moral preparation, we can be led to excess. In
the case of shoes, for example, many people are
tempted to buy exclusive and exotic shoes when what
they really need is a comfortable and durable shoe in
their size.
Once we fall, even just a little, into a lack of
moderation, we gain momentum and can lose
ourselves in whims.

Decency and inner beauty are more valuable than

appearance
Women bear the brunt of the attention paid to their
appearance. From their earliest youth, they are praised
by men or evaluated only in terms of their external
appearance.
Unfortunately, this can lead to a woman feeling fit
only to give pleasure to men, and her true inner gifts
sadly atrophy. She may feel compelled to spend a lot
of time and effort enhancing her outer beauty and
distorting her natural self to please others.
Unfortunately, many people, both men and women,
put all the emphasis on controlling their physical
appearance and the impression they make on others.
Those who seek wisdom come to understand that
although the world rewards us for wrong or superficial
reasons, such as physical appearance, the family we
come from, and so on, what really matters is who we
are inside and out. who we are becoming.

The reason is more important than the body

Those who lack moral preparation invest an inordinate
amount of time in their bodies. Perform your animal
functions incidentally. You must pay the greatest
attention to the care and development of reason. For
through reason we come to understand the laws of
nature.

Abuse is the result of false impressions

If someone disrespects you or speaks ill of you,
remember that he or she does so under the impression
that it is the right thing to do.
It is unrealistic to expect that person to see you as

you see yourself. Whoever draws conclusions that are

based on false impressions is the one who is hurt,
more than you, since it is that person who is wrong.
When someone interprets a true proposition as if it
were false, the proposition itself is not hurt; The
person who holds the wrong point of view is the one
who is disappointed and, therefore, harmed. Once you
understand this clearly, it will be more difficult for
you to feel insulted by others, even if they insult you.
You can say to yourself, "This person seems like this,
but it's just their impression."

Everything has two handles

All things have two handles: one with which they can
be carried, one with which they cannot.
If, for example, your brother or sister treats you badly,
do not perceive the situation through pain or injustice,
or you will not be able to bear it and you will become
bitter. Do the opposite. He grasps the situation through
the handle of family ties. In other words, focus on the
fact that this is your brother or sister, that you have
grown up together and, therefore, have a lasting and
unbreakable bond. By looking at the situation in this
way, you understand it correctly and maintain balance.
Clear thinking is vital
The prudent life is governed by reason. It is important
to learn to think clearly. Clear thinking is not a
haphazard undertaking. It requires adequate
preparation. Through clear thinking we are able to
direct our will, be faithful to our true purpose, and
discover the ties that bind us to others and the duties
that result from these relationships. We should all
learn to identify maudlin and fallacious thinking.
Study the legitimacy of the inferences, so that you
avoid drawing unfounded conclusions.
For example, here are some cases of false logic: “I am
richer than you; Therefore, I am better than you. We
continually find ourselves faced with statements as
absurd as this, but they are an absolute fallacy. The
valid inference that could be drawn is this: "I am
richer than you; Therefore, I have more possessions or
money than you.
Another example: “I speak more persuasively than
you; Therefore, I am better than you. From this one
can only conclude: «I speak more persuasively than
you; Therefore, my speeches have more effect than
yours.
But remember: character has nothing to do with
properties or persuasive speeches.
Spend time assiduously studying clear thinking and
you will not find yourself blindfolded. A solid logical
background and the rules of efficient discussion will
be of great help to you.

Let's call things by their name

When we call things by their name, we understand
them correctly, without adding judgments or
information of our own. Does someone shower
quickly? Let's not say that it is washed little, but
quickly. Let's name the situation what it is; let's not
filter it through our judgments.
Does someone drink a lot of wine? Don't say that he is
a drunk, but that he drinks a lot. Unless you are
perfectly aware of his life, how do you know he is a
drunk?
Do not risk being seduced by appearances to build
theories and interpretations based on deformations that
are the result of giving things the wrong name. Give
your consent only to what is actually true.

Prudence is manifested by acting, not speaking. Do

not present yourself as a prudent person or discuss
your spiritual aspirations with people who will not
appreciate them. Show your character and your
commitment to personal nobility through your actions.
If you want to test your endurance, do it for yourself,
not for others.
Do not be puffed up with pride if you are able to cover
your needs with a very small cost. The first task of
those who want to live prudently is to free themselves
from the limits of self-absorption.
Think how much more frugal the poor are than us,
how much better they cope with difficulties. If you
want to develop your ability to live simply, do it for
yourself, do it quietly, and don't do it to impress
others.

Prudence depends on personal vigilance

Most people do not realize that both help and harm
come from within us. Instead they look externally,
hypnotized by appearances.
Prudent people, on the other hand, realize that we are
the source of everything that is good or bad for us.
Therefore, he does not resort to blaming and accusing
others. She doesn't feel compelled to convince anyone
that she is respectable, special, or distinguished.
When a prudent person faces a challenge, he looks at
himself; When he receives praise, he smiles to
himself, impassive; When he is the object of slander,
he feels no need to defend his name.
But he goes about his actions with vigilance, thinking
that everything is fine, although not perfectly safe. He
harmonizes his desires with life as it is and tries to
avoid only those things that would prevent him from
exercising his will correctly. Exercise moderation in
all your affairs. And appearing ignorant or simple is
not something that concerns you. He knows that he
just has to watch himself and the direction of his
desires.

Living prudence is more important than being

versed in it
If someone tries to impress you by claiming to
understand the writings and ideas of great thinkers like
Chrysippus, remember that the important thing is not
to be able to speak fluently on abstruse topics. The
essential thing is to understand nature and align
intentions and actions with the way things are. He who
truly understands the writings of Chrysippus or the
precepts of any privileged mind is the one who truly
applies the philosopher's teachings. There is a big
difference between saying and doing valuable things.
Do not give too much specific weight to mere
erudition. Look at the example of people whose
actions are consistent with the principles they profess.

Learn to apply general principles to specific cases

in accordance with nature
Prudent living begins with learning how to put into
practice principles such as "don't lie." The second step
is to demonstrate the truth of those principles, such as
the reasons why you should not lie. The third step,
which connects the first two, is to indicate why the
explanations are sufficient to justify the principles.
Although the second and third steps are valuable, the
first is the most important. Well, it is too easy and
common to lie while ingeniously demonstrating that
lying is wrong.

Start living your ideals

The time has come for you to get serious about living
your ideals. Once you have determined the spiritual
principles you want to serve as an example, abide by
those rules as if they were laws, as if it were indeed
sinful to break them.
You shouldn't care if others don't share your
convictions. How much longer are you going to be
able to put off who you really want to be? Your
noblest self can no longer wait.
Put your principles into practice, now. Enough of
excuses and delays. This is your Life! You're not a
child anymore. The sooner you undertake your
spiritual program, the happier you will be. The longer
you wait, the more vulnerable you will be to
mediocrity and you will feel full of shame and regret,
because you know you are capable of more. From now
on, promise that you will stop letting yourself down.
Separate yourself from the crowd. Decide to be
extraordinary and do what you have to do. Now.