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Prologue
-GUGULEZWE
I'm not a religious person but I do believe that there's a greater
force up there in the sky, at least that's what I used to believe
until I lost the love of my life while he let it all happen. He
orchestrated everything and now she's all gone. Let me tell you
a little story about how things went south...
'A little fresh air ain't never hurt nobody'
I think to myself as I make my way out of the house taking a
scroll around our quiet neighborhood.
Hillcrest extension is a chilled place, I can't imagine living
anywhere but here. Just as I'm halfway to the Spar complex my
phone rings. Its Philasande So girlfriend. She's 3 months
pregnant and we haven't told our parents yet. I roll my eyes
answering her call
"Yah?"
I say trying hard not to sound as annoyed as I am. She's forever
whining and nagging lately. Emotional too. It's too much. She
wants us to get rid of it because next year we going to different
universities, her parents will kill her and also because yena
she's not ready. We in Matric that time preparing for trials.
She starts crying. I start to panic, I can't handle her tears, I don't
need the water works
"Baby thetha nam" (baby talk to me)
I plead but its like I've opened a tap cause she wails even
harder than before.
"Sthandwa Sam please just tell me what's wrong?"
I ask now rushing to her home which is just opposite the
complex I was going too. I get to her home and knock ending
the call on her. Her friend opens. Its a Saturday and her parents
normally go to the rural areas on weekends as they have farms
there and stuff
"Gugu"
She says stepping aside. I rush towards Phila's screams. I get to
her room and her phone is on the floor with a trail of blood
leading to her bathroom. I find her in the shower with blood
sitting on the floor under the water crying. I stop in my tracks
"Phila"
Is all I manage to utter
"She did a backdoor abortion and now she won't stop bleeding"
Explains Thuthula her bestfriend that opened the door for me.
I'm shook and unable to say anything. I love Phila but this? This
is hard to take in.
I'm not a rich kid, my family can at least afford and because I
like to have my own things I work at Spar after school. I know
what you thinking, I'm in Matric and its a critical time and all
but I manage and my boss is understanding.
"Uthi wenzeni?"(she did what?)
I ask turning to Thuthula. She looks down playing with her
hands.
"Call an ambulance!"
I say going in the shower closing the tap. She's crying and it
breaks my heart but not more than her aborting our child! She's
shivering but this person was sitting under hot water.
"Call a fucking ambulance!"
I yell but her friend shakes her head and so does Phila.
I almost drop her the way I'm so shook!
"If we call an ambulance then they going to want to contact her
parents and it will be a big mess. Phila needs to drink some pain
meds and sleep"
Says her friend. I chuckle and head to Phila's room and put her
on the bed. I'm pissed to the core I'm even breathing fire. I grab
her friend by the throat.
"If she dies"
That's all I say to her, she's pleading and begging for me to let
go. I walk out to the lounge and call a friend of mine who lives
in Ncambedlana, he goes to WSU and has a polo, was a 21st
birthday present. I tell him what's going on and he tells me he's
on his way. Meantime I dress Phila up, just as I finish there's a
hooter outside, its Khuselo. I pick her up and take her to the car
instructing her friend to call her parents and bring Phila's wallet
and phone. We drive to st Mary's hospital and tell them what's
going on. I give them Phila's medical aid and ID while they
attend her. They ask for her parents numbers and we give it to
them. I go sit down and bury my face in my hands and cry.
I feel someone brush my back
"Xolo bruh" (sorry dude)
Its Khusta
"Ndamcenga bruh. Besthethile ngalewei" (I begged her dude.
We spoke about this)
.
.
I feel like my problems started on this day. I'm not a perfect
guy, I grew up avoiding trouble at all costs but the thing with
life is that the harder you try avoiding something the easier that
something is able to get to you.
I loved Phila but I could never get past what she did and today I
blame her for turning me into this person. I'm Gugulezwe
Ncenjane and my story begins the day Phila fucked me up. I'm
18 and let's take a ride.
About what I said about a God and not believing? Life humbles
you so much that you find yourself turning over a new leaf. And
women? Good God those creatures can mess a nigga up.
.
.
-SEBENTILE
33, 41); font-size: 14px;">"Ungalahli ithemba Sebentile
mntfwanami kutolunga my baby."( Do not lose hope Sebentile
my child it will all get better.) Those are the words I used to
hear all the time from my grandmother until she passed on she
said them to me every chance she got. "It's always darker
before sunrise ". I never had replies I'll just say "Okay Gogo"
and she'll smile and say "One day you'll understand". This
response of hers was always on point because there would
always be a question in my mind why mustn't I lose hope? I
mean what's there to not lose hope about? The last time I
heard her say those words was on her death bed 4 years ago.
She had Diabetes, High blood pressure and all these other
diseases old people have. We weren't exactly rich but we never
went to bed hungry wether it's on liphalishi noshukela nome
liphalishi nemanti ( pap and sugar or water) but fact is we never
went to bed with an empty stomach, we had a roof over our
heads and clothes on our back and to say I didn't have the
perfect childhood would be a lie, yes I was bullied at school and
mocked but my granny was always there well until she died.
You see LaMazibuko was a praying church going woman not
your typical church women who act holier than thou kantsi they
are hypocrites, backstabbers you name it, she was what I called
a prayer warrior, a rock, the community's backbone and
everyone loved her who wouldn't? I swear if she's not in
Heaven right now looking down on me witchcraft exists
straight. She was the type of woman who gave shelter to the
homeless and food to the hungry, she lived on the scripture in
Matthew 25:34-35
"For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you
gave something to drink, I was a stranger and you brought me
together with yourselves and welcomed and entertained and
lodged me. I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you
visited me, I was in prison and you came to see me."
And well I followed suit. Mam Mavis our nosy neighbour who
pretended to be Gogo's friend would always ask "YeTwana
ukwentelani lokutsi ungenalutfo kodvwa uchubeke uphisana
ngekudla?" And my grandmother's response would always be
"It's God grace Mavis, kube bewukholwa ngempela ngabe
uyakwati lokho." And then Mavis would mumble something
thinking we wouldn't hear her but we would anyway. Oh Gog'
Twana I miss you old lady only if God kept you here long
enough so you can see how far I've come that I didn't give up.
"Sebe... Sebe"
"Ye?" I say looking at my best friend Nonjabulo
"I've been talking to myself for 30minutes" I laugh she's
exaggerating she wouldn't reach 30 minutes talking to
someone who isn't paying attention.
"Ncesi bowutsini?" (sorry you were saying?) I look at her and
she squints her eyes meaning she's worried. " I'm okay don't
worry" I quickly say before she asks. "Okay, bengitsi asambe
singatoba late uyamati Masina unjani"(Let's go before we are
late you know how Masina is) She says rolling her eyes and I
laugh, her and our accounting teacher have some sort of
chemistry and non of them is willing to act on it so they are
always at each other's throats. I pack my bag and we leave for
our accounting extra class the last class I'll ever attend as a high
school student yes I'm in Grade12 and tomorrow we are writing
our accounting paper the last paper and I'm so happy shame, I
stay close to school so Bulo and I walk to school talking about
everything making plans for next year.
"If it isn't the orphan nerd" Says our annoying school president
who thinks the world revolves around him and that very girl
wants him I won't lie he's hot and all but not my type as if I
have one. I look at him then at Bulo who is boiling with anger
"Asambe Nonjabulo"(Let's go Nonjabulo) I say looking at her I
know how this ends and trust me it's not good, see Bulo has
had my back ever since I can remember through all the bullying
she was there and fought for me.

I actually started being exposed to the cruelty of this world

after Gog'Twana's death but I'm glad she prepared me for it.
My name is Sebentile Phetsile Dlamini, I just turned 17 and I'm
not ready for the world kodvwa do I have a choice?
1
-GUGULEZWE
Its November and I'm done with exams. Thank God! I quit my
job at Spar, I think I've saved up enough for the festive.
Philasande? Let's not even talk about her. We buried her and
she's in a much better place.
We were too late, she had lost too much blood and she got
some womb infection which took her life quicker than it should
have. That day I not only lost my first child, my first love but I
also lost myself and my life was never the same again.
I started distancing myself from my friends and started
associating myself with your not so good people. Grief can do
that to you but whatever happened I never lost sight of what's
important and that's school.
I make my way to Hillcrest Township where my friends
reside(new friends) and meet up with one of our members on
my way there.
"Ekse Dylan, sup?"
I say doing our secret handshake. He's coloured and the craziest
in the squad and also the most dangerous
"Ya bruh, what kind?"
He responds
"I was coming to check you guys, what's new there?"
I ask turning around with him, he puts his arm around me
"Nie maan. Daar's a bitch ek kan seen daar by Ncambedlana.
Biae lekker by die eye"(theres this girl that stays in ncabedlana,
not bad to look at)
He says and I can't help but laugh at his broken Afrikaans he's
badly trying to speak
"Stick to English and Xhosa fam, you don't want to scare her
away"
I say still laughing at him, he laughs too
"Yah you right. Tonight we hitting that shop on the third street.
Heard that one makes over a R1000 a day"
He says
"Why don't we hit the Chinese? I mean they make way more
money and I've managed to hack into their security system and
trust me, its weak!"
I say with a shrug, he looks at me and smiles
"You see why I like you prettyboi"
That's what he calls me, I used to hate it but now I'm Ok with it.
"You up for a smoke?"
He asks taking out his cigarette and a lighter, I nod. Yah I smoke
now
"Sho"
He takes out another and gives it to me, we light them up and
start puffing over light conversation about tonight.
Eventually we go separate and I go to the squad and we all
greet each other.
Tino is like the second in command, been in and out of juvie a
couple of times, doesn't really like me much as he believes I'm
here to take his place and am nothing like them. Not that I have
anything to him.
Daniel is the one you go to for weapons and anything that can
inflict pain on the next person. There's nothing he doesn't have
Lukhanyo can still any car anywhere at anytime and til date he's
never made any mistake of getting caught.
And then there's me, the self taught IT guy. I can't really say I'm
adding much value in the squad but hey they seem to believe
they need my brains and who am I to argue right? As long as my
work doesn't go to waste.
We chill in the corner and I update them on the plan
"Does Dylan approve?"
Tino asks while biting on a match stick, I nod
"Met him on the way here. He's down for it"
I say proudly
"Plan sounds lekker and the money we'll be walking away with"
Says Luks all excited
"Do you even have a plan of how to do this? That place has
cameras, alarm, we could get caught"
Says Tino
"Listen, I've planned everything out, got all the things we need.
We good don't worry"
I say patting his shoulder, I know how much he hates that
"So what's the plan?"
Asks Danny. I fill them in on how to go about it and soon they
all excited except Tino. I leave and head home, its empty. Just
as I'm about to sit down, there's a knock on the door. I open
and its Thuthula, she looks fine AF!
"Hi" She says with a smile
"What are you doing here?" I ask and she smiles
"I'm here to see you" She says pushing me aside and letting
herself in "Why?"
I ask with a raised eyebrow "Just"
She says walking towards me. She tries to kiss me, stupid ass
me doesn't stop her. I know its wrong but nigga's been starving
Ok! I push her to the couch and get on top of her while kissing
her, one thing leads to another and soon we both naked. I pick
her up and she wraps her legs around my waist. We kiss while I
take her to the bedroom. We fuck
until we both orgasm and then I tell her to dress up and leave.
I'm a jerk, whatever!
-SEBENTILE
"Alright candidates pens down" says our Chief Invigilator Mr
Radebe. I put my pen down and gather all my papers and put
them in order as I wait for the invigilators to come collect the
papers cause I honestly can't wait to be out of here. My paper
is collected by Mr Radebe I roll my eyes as he comes to my side
to collect my paper he looks at me and smiles honestly I want
to puke right now. " This is it Sebe" I smile and nod my head. "I
can't wait to get out of here " I say and force a smile hoping he
gets this message. "And is every student in here, please come
see me after this" he says then walks away and I feel like the
ground could open up and swallow me the looks I'm getting
from everyone are enough to kill me might as well get buried.
See everyone in this school including the teachers,the principal
even thinks I'm dating Radebe cause I'm always in his office he
even takes me home sometimes and even gives me money for
lunch sometimes, I won't lie I'm grateful he made my high
school life atleast bearable but the downside is people think
he's my blesser and he isn't not that he hasn't tried getting into
my pants he has but I turned him down and made it completely
clear that I'm not that kind of girl and he got the message and
continued doing whatever he's doing for me without expecting
that I open my legs for him. "Before you all leave I'd like to say
a few words" Mrs Nkosi our principal says and everyone
grumbles and she laughs. " I understand you no longer want to
be here" everyone screams yes. "Well I won't be long, I just
want to wish you all well in becoming adults. I hope you all
make the right choices for your lives so you don't end up in the
streets nisitela maR2. Make us proud, your parents proud and
most of all yourself proud. Candidates we'll meet in January for
your statements, Farewell!". We all scream and clap hands as
we stand to leave, I scan my eyes around to find Bulo and she
comes running to me like a child. "Finally we done with school, I
was seriously suffocating" she says fanning her face
dramatically and I laugh. "I don't want to see myself in this
uniform ever again." She rolls her eyes "You do know that you'll
be wearing for June 16 soon moc?" I laugh " Wuuu never friend
that trend long went to China so no."
"Asambe"(let's go),she says taking out her shades and putting
them on. "Ngilindze Radebe utsite ufuna kungibona"(I'm
waiting for Mr Radebe he said he wants to see me), I say and
she rolls her eyes " Bengitsi sesiyicedzile indzaba yaloyo"(I
thought we done with him). "Me too but I have to know what
he wants". Bulo takes off her shades "Okay let's go wait for him
but both of you owe me now I have to stop slaying it's not fair"
I laugh and hug her "I love you ". "There's no way you wouldn't"
she says sticking her tongue out, we both laugh then hold
hands walking to Radebe's office to wait for him there, he
never locks it I don't know why and surprisingly nothing ever
gets stolen not that I'm saying kids from here are thieves but
who can trust a bunch of high school kids?. Mr Radebe comes
in after 20 minutes "Girls" he says sitting down after putting his
jacket in the hanger and the suit really looks good on him infact
everything looks good on him. Let me tell you more about
Radebe here, he's tall dark and handsome that's the basic, he's
muscular you can clearly see kutsi uyawati umnyango wegym
(that he knows where the gym is), he has great taste in clothes,
always bald and has an o shaped beared and a voice that
demands respect. "Sir" Bulo and I say in unison. "Bulo can I talk
to Sebe in private please?" Bulo looks at me and I nod." You'll
find me by the benches" she says standing up, we wait for her
to close the door then I turn my attention to Radebe, he clears
his throat. "Where to from here?" He says "I don't know,
ngitofuna umsebenti maybe angati ", I say honestly cause I
really don't know where to vele, I don't even know what I'll
wake up tomorrow and eat or even do. "Have you applied
though?", I nod "Yes, I applied at Wits, UKZN,UCT AND UP".
"There'll be begging you to be at their universities don't worry
Sebe, you are a very good student. Any bursaries?" He asks and
I'm starting to get annoyed ngifuna kuphuma la (I want to get
out of here). "Yes sir, NSFAS only." He nods "I called you here to
offer you a job at my supermarket" oh I forgot to add business
man to his description he owns a few supermarkets around and
he's loaded,trust me anyone who owns a supermarket in the
rural areas is loaded. "Really sir? Ngiyabonga sir " I say unable
to hide the excitement this means I'll be able to get clothes for
christmas and food. "Yebo utocala (you'll start) whenever you
are ready" he says smiling "Even today?" He laughs "Today you
go celabrate even the whole week you need to relax it's been a
long year. You can start next week Monday." I smile "Thank you
so much I won't disappoint you I swear". "I know you won't" I
smile then stand up. "Usalekahle (goodbye)".
2
-SEBENTILE
" Have fun tonight " I nod then open the door. "Sebe!" He
shouts as I am about to close the door from outside. "Yes sir?" I
ask peeping my head in he's already on his feet. "About tonight
do you have clothes or money?" He asks getting closer my eyes
can't help but see how big he is I swallow hard. "Uhm... No sir
angiyi (I'm not going". "Why not?". "I just don't feel like it". "Go
I insist" he takes out his wallet and gives me R1000. "No sir I
can't take this ". He shakes his head "I want you to be like other
kids" I look at the money and I know Bulo would be happy if
ngihamba naye plus I have never went out partying so might as
well, tonight's our pens down and everyone is going excpet me.
" Thank you sir " I say putting the money into my backpack. "Till
we meet again" he says as I close the door and I say nothing.
"I was sure you guys were having sex" Bulo says as I reach her
and I laugh. "Uyahlanya"(you are crazy). "Benentani
vele?"(what were you guys doing?). "Nothing that concerns
that you, I'm joking he gave me money to go to the pens
down". She screamed so loud jumping up and down and she
started planning what we are going to wear, she was so happy
and that made me happy too.
"Well don't you girls look proper?" Bulo's mother asks as she
gets into Bulo's room. Well Nonjabulo has both parents and
they love all of them to bits she's the middle one and the only
girl, there's an elder brother Sihle who's working in living in his
own house, Bulo then Mthokoziso who's 9 years. They all have
been supportive and had my back since and I'm grateful, we
decided to get dressed at her house since it's more decent and
stuff. "Please be safe and call Sihle atonilandza(to fetch you)".
We both nod in agreement, "Okay have fun". She hugs us and
gives us kisses on our cheecks then walks out. "Your mom is the
best yati" I say to Bulo and she smiles "She's your mom too you
know?". "Ngiyati"(I know). "Let's go knock them out ". We take
a few pictures with her phone she has a Samsung grand prime
and I have a mobicel which takes pictures as if you were
painted. I'm in a floral loose short sleeveless jumpsuit that Bulo
chose with sandals and she tied my hair into a bun well forced
it into a bun and I must say I look good with my brown lipstick
on, Bulo yena was in a jean,black loose vest and black kicks. We
might live in a rural area but every place has a tarven and that's
where our pens down was, by the time we got there it was
packed already. "I don't know about this" I say to Bulo who
looks at me as if I'm crazy. "It's too crowded in here I can't plus
this thing is too short angeke". I turn back and walk away Bulo
runs after me screaming I should stop and I bump into
someone. "Ncesi" (Sorry) I say without looking when I look up
it's Sabelo our annoying school president with his crew besides
him, I turn to the other direction he grabs my arm "Where are
you going sweets?" I look at him then my arm. "Ngicela
ungiyeke". He let's go "Iyakufanela lentfo loyigcokile"(This thing
you wearing suits you) I feel violated by his statement that I say
nothing but walk away and Bulo follows me. "Singahamba
nawufuna"(We can go if you want). The first thing that comes
to mind is yes let's go but I can't do that to her, she has bent
over backwards for me more times than I can remember it'll be
cruel of me not to do this for her ke. "It's fine we can stay" Her
face lights up "Really?". "Yes" She hugs me "Thank you Thank
you!". She takes my hand then we walk back getting inside this
time. That's what friends do for each other right? They get
comfortable in uncomfortable positions for their friends ones
who have had their backs since
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a few hours won't hurt.
.
.
-GUGULEZWE
I head out to meet the guys as my parents drive in
"Gugu"
Mom shouts out the window
"Mom I can't stay, I'll be back later"
I say walking away
"If you do this mission you will end up in prison"
Mom says, I stop in my tracks. She gets out of the car
"I know what you've been up to and so far you've been playing
safe until you let that child inside my house. Call the mission
off!"
Mom warns, I don't know how she knows what she knows but
she knows.
"Mom I don't know what you talking about"
I say with a chuckle
"So you know nothing about the possibility of a robbery tonight
at China Mall? I mean you won't mind staying home tonight
and cooking right?"
She says with her arms folded, how do I get out of this again?
How does she even know all of this?
"Mom I have plans tonight"
I say scratching my head trying to find a way out
"Gugu I know you. You my son"
She says, I sigh
"If you go on with tonight you will end up in prison and I would
like for my son to go somewhere with his life, meet the woman
of his life and just be"
She says, guilt washes over me. I love this woman with my all,
the last thing I want is to disappoint her.
"Mom"
I start off but she cuts me off
"I love you but if you go on with this, you on your own!"
She says and then walks inside the house. I take out my phone
and dial Dylan's number
"Dylan"
I say after he answers
"Ekse my broer"
He says
"I hope you ready for tonight"
He says sounding really excited
"Listen, shiit came up"
"Nie man, nie!"
He says
"Mom's is sick dude and dad is in the rurals. Let's do this
another day"
I say and I hear him cursing, he's pissed
"We can do this without you broer"
He threatens
"You can try but we both know you'll lose! Shut it down"
I say then end the call. I walk inside and mom is in the kitchen
chopping stuff.
"Need help?" I ask
"Shower first and then we'll talk"
She says. How does my mother know all these things? I head to
my room to bath. When I'm done I go to the kitchen to help
out, dad is pretty scarce.
"So?" I say sitting on the high chair
"What do you want to know?"
She asks unbothered
"How do you know what you know?"
3
-GUGULEZWE
"Honey I'm your mother, there's nothing you do that I don't
know off.
I know things about you even your best friend doesn't know"
She starts and best believe she has all of my attention
"I love you baby and it pains me that you went through losing a
baby alone without us"
She says and I'm shook she knows that
"Yes I know. But Gugu you should have told one of us, you
should have never went through that alone"
I chuckle in disbelief
"How do you know all of this mom?"
I ask
"Gugu there's a few of us like this in this world. I'm not a
prophet, I don't get premonitions or whatever but I am a
normal human who is able to see things that my loved ones see
and sometimes I see beyond things I should be seeing, like
seeing into the future or the past of a person if I look deep
enough."
Mom says and I'm in awe of all this that she is telling me
"This was a gift my greater grandmother had, its passed on"
She says
"Does this mean I'm gonna be like you?"
She shrugs her shoulders
"I don't know, maybe some day or never"
She says
"I really hope you never get this, it's a gift and a curse. For me it
started when I was 10, I saw my parents death before they
even died. It doesn't come as a dream, I just zone out and the
next thing I am seeing what the person is seeing. Mostly I see
things that warn me of a danger that is going to happen and if
I'm really connected to that person I am able to manipulate
their thinking or doing or whatever just so that they are safe"
She says and all I can do is swallow hard because wow this is a
lot to take in
"So what would have happened if I went to the mission?"
I ask and she chuckles sarcastically
"You would have probably died or ended up in prison"
She says unbothered
"But you know exactly what would have happened"
I say and she nods
"I'm not saying continue with this gangster thing because I
would hate to have to bury you just yet. You smart Gugu, you
deserve to go to university and work towards that dream
instead of giving it all away. Also stay away from your dead
girlfriend's best friend. She is a parasite, she is evil, she is the
reason your mission was going to fail"
She says draining the pot of water by the sink
"How?"
I ask, I'm curious. Shoot me
"She has the power to sleep with you and be able to use you for
her own benefit"
She says
"So me washing cleansed me of whatever she infected me?"
I ask and she shakes her head
"Only one person can rid you of whatever it is she infected you
with"
Mom says and now I'm confused
"You will know when you meet her, udabs wakho ukucelile
uyotyela I new year pha kwakhe"
(Your aunt asked you to go spend the new year with them)
I scratch my head, dad's sister can be strict. She's nothing like
my parents. She's married to a priest and their son is the
complete opposite, he does all these bad things, I have no idea
how many times he's landed in prison but he always gets out.
His sisters and married to church boys and they live in PE with
their husbands. I look at mom and laugh
"I'm not going there. That woman is fake mom"
I say shaking my head
"Honey you can't say such. She's a pastor"
Mom says calmly
"You and I both know she's as fake as they come"
I say and she chuckles
"Don't let your father hear you say that. Anyway you going and
its not open for discussion"
She says taking off her apron
"You leave on the 26th"
She says. I have no argument left in me. I walk to my room and
chat to a couple of friends
I get a call from my cousin, his name is Sakhile, he's the jailbird.
Same age as I am different birthdays. I answer
"Exe Gupta"
He says making me laugh
"Exe Sakza. Zishap?"
(Hey, what's up?)
I say
"Heard you pulling through for the new year"
He says laughing
"I don't have a choice here"
I say annoyed and sounding it
"Heard you no longer a goody two shoes
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pull through and we'll get up to no good together. I've been
praying for this day you know"
He's excited, rejoicing in my misery.
"Ay whatever man. I'll be there"
I say dismissing him
"I cannot wait!"
He says all excited
"Bye, tour uncle is calling me"
I say ending the call to go eat.
"So what do you plan on doing in Varsity?"
Dad asks the minute I settle down
"I don't know, whichever course they accept me for"
I say with a shrug
"You need to be serious about your life Gugulezwe! Have you
received any responses from any university?"
I nod
"Yeah"
I say shoving a spoon in my mouth
"Well, where?"
He asks sitting up
"UCT, UP, UKZN, WITS, UWC, and a couple of others"
I say, dad's astonished
"Yah"
I say with a smug
.
.
-SEBENTILE
It's been a week since I started working at the supermarket and
I must say I'm loving it atleast I won't end up selling my body to
these thirsty old village perverts who think they own woman
just to make ends meet. Mr Radebe might be one of those
thirsty old men but thing is he's not old but I see him becoming
one when he's old trust me, I've heard rumors that he's dating
a student from Grade10 who's on his class and they've been
keeping it discrete but there's nothing you can hide from school
kids you see when they suspect something especially a
romantic relationship between a teacher and a student they
are the best investigators a week is enough for them to collect
evidence and present it I tell you. It's Friday my pay day well
since I'm not a permanent worker here I get paid weekly
instead of monthly. " Yati wena akukho
lokungakufaneli"(There's nothing that doesn't suit you) I turn to
look at who this is and I'm not surprised it's this annoying spoilt
brat I don't entertain him but continue packing the baby
formulas. "Utokwenta ngatsi awungivanga vele?"( So you'll act
like you didn't hear me?) I sigh then turn around "What do you
want?" He smirks "Nothing really" I huff did he really have to
waste lemme see 45 seconds of my time? Do you know the
things I could've had done in those seconds? "Nxxx" He laughs
"So princess here can get angry?" He says folding his arms with
a huge smirk on his face "Sabelo I'm busy if ungati kutsi ufunani
ngicela kusebenta in peace"(if you don't know what you want
can I please work in peace) He says nothing then I bend picking
up the empty boxes, he grabs them quickly. Oh Jesus I'm being
tested. "Let me help you" "Did I say I want help?" He shakes his
head. "No but I'm a gentleman it would be wrong to let you
carry them by yourself " I fake a smile then take the boxes
"Thank you " I get into the storeroom and leave him there
saying whatever and quite frankly I don't care what he wants to
say. I put the empty boxes with the rest then take the one with
sweets in them,thinking this is the last box I have to unpack
today gives me joy I push the box out using my feet. "You still
here?" I say as I see Sabelo standing by the door "We haven't
talked?" "In case you haven't noticed I'm working and I've been
asking you what is it that you want and you've said nothing,so
please" I push him aside walking away and he follows me "Okay
fine ngicela siphume siye epark"(Can we go to the park) I laugh
well I didn't mean to but it just happened and trust me you too
would laugh if the guy who hadd bullied you all your highschool
life has just asked you out imagine. "I'm busy" I said then
walked away I just can't believe a guy asked me out Sabelo
even my inner woman was doing some happy dance and I
couldn't help but smile to myself guys this is an achievement.
"That smile can only mean one thing" I almost dropped the
sweets "Mrs Radebe" I said keeping composure did I mention
that Mr Radebe is married? Well he is and apparently has 3 kids
that we have never seen. "It's because of that boy neh?" I
cleared my throat "Not really" She raised her eyebrows "Okay
nawucedza lapho come to the office" "Sengicedzile"(I'm done) I
say then pick up the box, we walk to the office in silence and to
my surprise we find Mr Radebe there I didn't know he was here
I greet then he tells me to sit down and his wife leaves. "Here is
your money " He says giving me an envelope, I open it then
start counting this can't be right "Uhm sir I think this is too
much" I say then look at the money then back to him "No it's
not it's exactly what you should be getting" I shake my head I
swear even the permanent workers don't get this much "Sir it's
R2000 isn't it suppose to be R1000?" He smiles "No that's what
you'll be getting until you decide to stop working here, that's it
for the day see you Monday" Ohh I don't work weekends, I
reluctantly stand up then my phone rings its Bulo. "Babe " I say
and the look Radebe gives me yey "Where are you?"
"Ngiphuma emsebentini nyalo indzaba?"( I just knocked off
why?) "Bengitsi ngiyakuhlangabeta I miss you" I haven't seen
her since Wednesday and trust me it feels like two weeks. "I
miss you too,ita I'll wait for you outside" I say she agrees then
hangs up, I go get my bag say goodbye to everyone walking out
and Sabelo is outside leaning against his father's 1400 Toyota I
act like I don't see him and put on my earphones focusing on
nothing on my phone. "Sebe" He says Lord take me now!
4
-SEBENTILE
"Sebe"
I pretend not hear him I have my earphones on moc so nawe he
probably thinks I can't hear him
"Sebentile!"
He shouts I can hear he's close, he takes of one of my
earphones I look at him
"I've been calling you"
He says flashing a smile why is he smiling?
"Ohh"
I say then back to my phone texting Bulo
"Hhaybo Sebe"
I look at him
"Yini?" (What?)
He frowns
"I said I'll take you to the park angithi that's why I'm here"
"Did I say we'll go?"
He scratches his head
"Well not exactly "
"Exactly "
I say and he sighs
"Hi hi"
It's Bulo and I can't help but scream phela I haven't seen her for
decades so excuse us
"I missed you"
She says breaking the hug
"I missed you more"
"Well I see what's been keeping you from seeing me"
She says looking at Sabelo I thought he left
"Hhay no no I've been busy with work"
She smirks
"I believe you my friend "
She says winking and I can't help but laugh
"Let's go"
I say putting my phone away
"And him?"
She says pointing Sabelo with her head
"Ngaworry ngam, Sebe I'll see you around neh"
I just nod and he walks away
"You didn't have to be that cold"
Bulo says as we look at Sabelo driving away
"Why do I have to entertain him?"
She rolls her eyes
"Isn't it obvious? The hottest guy at school wants you friend
and he's the first guy to ever ask you out and trust me you very
lucky that a guy like him is asking you out"
I look at her
"What do you mean I'm lucky?"
She laughs
"Don't be so defensive, remember the first guy to ask me out?"
Instead of answering her I laugh yooh the guy was a nyaope
boy not that I'm judging him but I remember how annoyed Bulo
would be whenever we bump into him not bump but he'd wait
for us by the gate everyday after school just to walk Bulo home
it was cute but hilarious at the same time.
"You see my point?"
I nod
"Yeah I get you but that doesn't mean I'll give him a chance"
"Hhayvo Sebe I thought we were making progress"
I laugh
"Have you forgotten that he used to bully me?"
"Maybe he's trying to make amends"
"Either way I'm not interested"
She shrugs
"I tried"
I laugh
"Don't worry one day I'll date"
She says nothing but just smiles
"Sanibonani mantfombatane"(Hi girls)
Gogo Mabuza who stays next to my house says as we pass her
"Yebo gogo"
Bulo and I say in unison
"Sebe sesi usayikhumbula lenkonto bengitsite siye kuyo
lamuhla?"(Sebe dear do you still remember the church service I
said we should go to tonight?)
"Yebo ma"
"Sitohamba nyalo nga6, nawe Nonjabulo ungeta"(We'll leave
around 6, Nonjabulo you can also come)
"Sitota"(We'll come)
Nonjabulo says and we get in, since she has clothes here we
both get dressed in dresses and she calls her mom to tell her
we going to church and she has no problem. Just to be on the
safe side we make brown bread and eggs with juice to make
sure we don't starve by the time we done Gogo Mabuza is at
our door to fetch us that woman takes church really serious she
just reminds me of Gogo Twana we never missed a service even
when I was sick she'll ask "what difference will staying home
make?", so we'll go church and I'd be prayed for. I'm really
grateful to have had her in my life to say she was a blessing
would be an understatement. She'd be disappointed if she
would hear when last I went to church even I am ashamed to
say not that I haven't been praying I have. We walk to church
with Gogo Mabuza asking me about work and how the
Radebe's are treating me, we get to church and we can hear
the worship all the from the gate and it's really powerful.
"Sengilucalil' uhambo lwakho
Olungicondzisako luvela ezulwini
Sengehlukene neve lokona
Ngobeketela Jeso ngobeketela!!"
Bulo and I walk to the youth while Gogo goes to the elders.
"Amen, angati nome nani nijabule njengami na kube la.
Ngitocela ingoma sisukumise Preacher Maseko osiphetsele
umlayeto amen." (Amen,I don't know if you all are excited like
me to be here. Can I have a song as Preacher Maseko comes
forth for a message Amen).
Says the programme director Nqobile who's also the Bishop's
daughter. As requested the choir leader starts a song
"Bayedze Nkhosi
Ogama linguJesu
Bayedze Nkhosi
Ogama linguJesu
Letsani umqhele wobukhosi
Simthwese wona
Sitsi uyiNkhosi yakho konkhe
Siyakhotshama embi kwakho
Sitsi akekho onje ngawe
'Tolo lamhla naphakadze
Likufanele Nkhosi udvumo"
-GUGULEZWE

Dad knows I'm smart, he just doesn't know how smart I am or

can be. I don't give anything away especially now with the life I
lead. I call up Dylan to find out whether or not they went
ahead, guess what? They did despite what I told them and one
of them got arrested. I'm about to leave the house, its the
following day, mom walks in
"Where are you going?"
She asks
"To meet a friend"
I say walking to the door
"Anything you'd like to tell me maybe?"
She asks with a raised eyebrow, I'm confused AF!
I shake my head
"None that I know of"
I say
"Something about a strange dream?"
She hints and it then hits me like a wave pouring me onto the
shore.
Last night I had this weird strange dream. I was with my cousin
Sakhile
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we were cruising in his neighborhood when we drove past this
girl walking with her friend. For a second my world literally
stopped and everything was in slow motion, that's how drawn I
was to her. As I was busy admiring some dude, I don't know his
name walked up to her and the friend. You could tell she and
the guy weren't the best of friends but they spoke. Here comes
the weird part about my dream, I haven't paid attention to girls
since Phila so its shocking for me to get angry and open a car
door of a moving car with hopes to punch the guy in the face. If
why I'd do such I also don't know. As if that's not all, I walk back
to the car without saying a single word to her or her friend.
How fucked up can a person be?
"She's the one baby"
Mom says, I'm confused
"The one who what?"
I ask, you need to understand that I can be slow at times
"You'll understand with time. Go have fun with your friends"
She says dismissing me. What just happened? Why is she being
weird?
I walk out and meet the guys on my way, Dylan throws a punch
at me I even taste blood
"Nigga what the fuck?!"
I say feeling my jaw where he punched me
"I should fucking shove a knife up in your balls"
He says pissed, a punch pisses anyone off. Firstly you off guard
and secondly you don't know why!
"The fuvks your problem huh? A punch? Really D?"
He takes out a knife and points it at me
"I will sculpt out those tiny eyes you hear boy?"
I shove him. Of all things, never call me a boy!
"Don't fuck with me Dylan! I'm not a boy!"
I say fuming, the nerve of this idiot!
"You need me, not the other way round!"
I say then walk away. Just as I'm walking something tells me to
turn, Dylan is mad pink coming at me with his knife. I manage
to push him to the floor then get on top of him pulling his knife
out of his hand
"You don't want to do this bruh"
I warn as he curses at me telling me to get off of him
"Calm down or this will get messy"
I say with his hands held down
"Gugu zishapi?"
Asks Khuselo my good old friend
"Leave!"
I say looking up at him. He pulls me up from Dylan and pushes
me aside
"Go! You don't belong here"
He says to Dylan
"We not done"
He says picking his knife up. He walks away leaving me to
explain
"And that?"
Khuselo asks pissed
"That is none of you business"
I say walking away from him
"It is if you hanging out with the wrong crowd. Is this why you
distanced yourself from me? So you'd fight coloureds and
become a certified thief?"
He asks catching up to me, I stop and chuckle sarcastically
"Whatever man"
I say and resume walking, he grabs my arm
"Nigga what's the deal with you huh? We friends. There's
nothing you cannot tell me"
He pleads, I'm tempted to talk but the other part of me tells me
to pull my arm away from him and head home once and that's
exactly what I do. Head home and by Gods grace he let's me be
"You leaving. Today"
Dad says the minute I walk in
"Excuse me?"
I say. I must have heard him wrong
"You going to my sister today. Your mother has already packed
for you the things you'll need"
He says and walks out
"Dad I can't. That's not fair" I say pleading
"I wasn't asking you Gugulezwe. I am telling you. No son of
mine is going to die because he can't choose his friends. Go
wash up so I can drive you to the bus station"
He says. I'm dumbstruck, why all of a sudden?
5
-SEBENTILE
We are only two days away from Christmas and I can't say I'm
excited well I know we are celebrating Christ's birthday and all
plus I'm christian thing is it's during this time that all my
memories with Twana come back it was her favourite month of
the year and we'd go to the homes where children are all alone
with no parents and offer food, my old clothes and just support
nje and the feeling I always got was priceless now I find it hard
to survive this season without her, Bulo and her family have
always tried to make it enjoy but eyy it's hard the void is still
there but I'm moving on trying to make her proud. That day
church was awesome it was out of this world Preacher Maseko
touched some important aspects that make you look at yourself
and think am I really living right? Is this how God really wants
me to live? Are the things I'm doing in line with me being a
Christian? Kodvwa ke overall I'm glad I went and Gogo Mabuza
said something to me as we were leaving church, she said "Your
destiny is close" and left me hanging like that she always does it
tells you something but doesn't really clarify it and you'll be left
cracking your head trying to figure it out.
Well I finally decided to go with that jerk Sabelo to that date
he's been harassing me about ai phela I could no longer
breathe he was always up in my face with that 1400 even Mr
Radebe was getting irritated by him always coming to the shop.
Bulo was so happy when I told her I'm going to this ridiculous
date with Sabelo, we can't deny the fact that he's handsome
and well built plus his height doesn't disappoint I love tall guys
there's just something about them marn. I've just finished
bathing when my phone rings and it's Sabelo I roll my eyes as I
answer it
"Sabelo"
I say
"Hawu I was expecting a hey babe"
"Don't push it"
"Okay sorry you haven't forgotten about our date right?"
He says and I feel like smacking my head
"How could I when you remind me every second"
I say annoyed
"I'll be there in 15 minutes "
"Okay but don't come with your dad's car"
I hear him sigh
"Why?"
"I just want us to walk"
"This is a first" he mumbles thinking I can't hear him
"Ye?"
"No it's nothing"
He says and I chuckle
"Okay sharp"
I don't wait for him to say anything but hang up and throw the
phone on the bed. Well Sabelo is used to these girls going head
over hills with him driving that 1400 he sure feels like the
president in it. Anyway I get dressed in a red floral tiny straps
above the knee dress with sandals, I have braids on thanks to
Bulo so I tied them up neatly then put vaseline on my lips. I take
the water basin to throw out the water and I see Sabelo
approaching, I quickly rinse the basin then rush inside to puff
some perfume and take my bag,phone and keys, I lock then half
run to him.
"You look beautiful"
He says looking at my thighs they are not that visible excpet
when I walk the dress goes up and they are exposed. I roll my
eyes then smile
"Thanks"
"Aren't you going to say I look good too?"
He says looking at himself and I laugh
"Well I'd be lying to you"
He touches his chest dramatically
"Wow I'm hurt"
"Well my grandma taught me to be honest"
I say half smiling
"Ayy you know how to bruise a guy's ego"
He says pulling me in for a side hug and I oblige damn he smell
great or and he's dressed we too in a black chino, white golf t-
shirt and black shoes cliché yes but he looks good. We walk to
the park which is like 10 minutes away from my house talking
about random stuff nje. As we areapproaching the park I see
that it's packed I slower my pace, all those that grew up before
us and made it out come back at this time of the year and
throw parties at the park I don't know how it slipped my mind I
wouldn't have came.
"What's wrong?"
Sabelo asks when he sees I'm reluctant
"I can't... I can't go in"
He frowns his eyebrows
"Why?"
I look down
"It's packed "
"So?"
I quickly look up to him did he just say that? I say nothing but
turn to walk away he quickly grabs my arm
"Khuluma Sebe" (Talk Sebe)
"I can't stand crowded places especially of people I don't know"
I say
"But you were at the after party"
"I was doing that for Bulo and besides bekunabantfu
lengibatiko" (there were people I know)
He sighs then pulls me closer
"Listen I got you neh? You'll be by my side this whole time and
besides we not here for the party"
I look at him thinking about it
"Sebe!"
Someone shouts in the crowd and I think it's Bulo but she's not
here
"Sebe!"
They shout again but this time they much closer I turn and it's
really her
"Yewena what are you doing here?"
I say and she laughs
"I'm here to get down and you look hot by the way"
I smile
"Who did you come here with?
"Someone, come let's go"
She says grabbing my hand and I resist
"And?"
She asks
"I'm here with Sabelo"
Only then does she notice him
"Ayy you clean up really well I didn't see you"
Sabelo just smiles
"Okay you'll find me by the red car neh? Don't do anything I
wouldn't do"
She winks leaving us laughing
"Ngisatibuta kutsi how come you two are friends " (I'm still
asking myself)
I smile
"I'm still asking myself also"
.
.
-GUGULEZWE
Although I made it here alive and well, still doesn't change the
fact that we had an accident on the road, we hit a cow but
wasn't that bad except having to wait for another bus in the
middle of no where. I'm drained to say the very least
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I slept for like 5 hours before my cousin came in and woke me
up. I don't know why I'm up but he says we should go out and
play with other kids and maybe screw around a bit.
"Let me shower first and then we'll do whatever you want"
I say getting up from the bed
"Make it snappy or I'm leaving your ass!"
He says as I walk out of the room with my toiletry bag and
towel. I take a quick bath, brush my teeth and be on my way. I
walk in and lotion my body then get dressed. I head out to the
lounge and his parents are sitting there talking
"Dabs, Tamnci"
I say greeting both
"Hey baby. Glad you here"
She says hugging me again as if she wasn't there when her and
her husband fetched me from the bus station this morning.
"Yah son"
The husband says, I settle on the couch
"There's food in the microwave"
Says my aunt
"We going to church, there's a meeting and a prayer later on,
we will see you guys later. Sakhile behave and don't get into
any kind of trouble!"
Says my aunts husband, Sakhile smiles innocently
"Like I ever do anything"
He says in a tone that makes all of us laugh. This guy. We all
know he's mischievous
I get up to fetch my food, as I walk in the lounge they are
walking out. I settle on a single couch
"Eat up so we can leave, there's a couple of people I want to
introduce you to"
He says as I take the first spoon to my mouth. Well he's a little
impatient
"Yah I need to call mom first and tell her I'm safe"
I say swallowing the last contents of my food
"You can always send a message, aunty won't mind. We
meeting the guys in like 10 minutes at the park. Finna show you
how things are done this side"
He says sounding beyond excited. I have nothing against my
cousin, I'm just not used to him like that
"Sakhile go on without me today, I need the rest bruh"
I plead
"Nigga what's your problem? You been blowing me off since
before you came here"
He says with a not so happy tone. I sigh
"Firstly I'm tired. Secondly I can't be disrespecting aunty like
that or else my father will kill me with his bare hands and lastly
I don't know you like that so excuse me if I'm not so friendly"
He chuckles sarcastically
"You cute!"
He says, his tone doesn't scream compliment if you ask me
"My parents are chilled. What happens here stays here"
I let out a chuckle. My mom has some supernatural power that
allows her to see things without her being physically there so
what are the chances really?
"What?"
I shake my head
"Nothing. I just need rest that's all. I say getting up and going to
the kitchen. I wash my plate and put it on the dish rack then
make my way to bed.
I look around and I'm in church. I don't know how I ended up
here but I look around me and I see the girl I fought for in my
last dream. She's with her friend singing harmonic praises to
the good lord while my aunt sits in the front row with her
husband. What's going on here? How am I in church?
My uncle walks up to the pulpit and soon after people are quiet
and waiting on him to speak. He welcomes everyone to the
service and begins to deliver his message of the day. As he is
preaching he turns to me looking at me dead in the eye, I'm
conflicted. Can he see me? His eyes move from me all the way
to the mysterious girl sitting with her grandma and friend then
he smiles. I'm confused. I'm literally dumbfounded, what is
going on here?
"Turn to your neighbor and tell them something good is coming
their way"
People in the service turn to each other and murmur what the
pastor has said
"Tell your neighbor that its no mistake that they are in this
place right now"
He says and like compelled servants they turn to their neighbor
and say what he said.
I am woken up by my phone ringing. I jump out of bed in shock
and I'm sweating profusely. I check my phone and its mom
"Mah" I say answering the phone
"Hey baby how are you?"
Her voice so angelic I suddenly miss her "I'm good Mah and
how are you?"
I ask sitting on the edge of the bed
"I'm also good thank you. It all starts now baby"
She says confusing me for days "What does mom?"
The beeping sounds of a cut call warn me that the call has been
ended. I try calling her but reach her voicemail instead. I try dad
and the same goes for him. Ok. What's going on?
6
-GUGULEZWE
Mom left me super confused with our last conversation. What
starts? Why? I don't know really.
Its already dark outside and my aunt and husband are back
already.
I walk out the room and head out to where the noise is coming
from, they sitting in the lounge
"Hey guys, how was church?"
I ask settling on the couch
"It was a good service"
Aunt's husband says
"When are you joining us for real?"
He asks, I'm confused by this question
"I meant when are you joining us?"
He asks and I shrug
"Maybe on Sunday, I don't know"
I say
"Yazi the service was so powerful. You missed out"
My aunt says
"I doubt he did"
He says side-eyeing me. Ok what's my uncle up to?
"Sakhile's not back yet?"
I ask
"No, that boy comes home when he feels like it"
His mother says
"Dabs when last did you speak to mom? I tried calling her but
couldn't get through"
I ask
"They are fine. Your mother said you should have fun and enjoy
your holiday. When something comes up she will call"
She says getting up leaving me with her husband.
"Son"
"Omphi"
I respond
"I felt your presence in church today"
He says, my eyes pop out of their socket. How?
"Omphi?"
I say astonished
"You heard me. I saw you look at her. I felt you. Son I'm not like
these other pastors out there. The lord speaks to me every now
and then. I am the Lord's servant. And as much as I'm no
prophet I can still feel these things. The lord speaks to me And
he spoke to me today. He alerted me of your presence"
He says, I can't even hide my shock.
The next morning my cousin and I decide to cruise around his
area, he's offered to show me around and who am I to say no?
If I stay inside then I'll get these dreams and from there
onwards I'll just go crazy so its best I be around him and his
crew.
He takes me to meet his crew, its an old abandoned house.
"Guys this is my cousin"
He introduces me in Swati, now as much as I can't speak it, I can
understand it and hear it very well.
"Cheeseboy"
One of the guys says. I chuckle
"Cheeseboy nguNyoko kwekwe"
I say. Which can be loosely translated as "cheeseboy is your
mother boy". I hate the term, shoot me!
"I'll beat the fuck out of you Xhosa boy"
He says and shocking enough his English is good
"I'd love to see you try! Ndzok'gwaza unye mna sani!
Ungandiqheli"(I'll stab the shiit of you boy. Don't test me)
I threaten, that time I've never stabbed anyone in my life
before but Xhosa makes you sound badass when you in another
city. Its got that thing goin on.
"Now that, that's out of the way. This is my good friend, best
friend Thuso, that's Stix, Chad and don't ask what we doing
with a colored"
We all laugh and Chad punches him playfully
"Sabelo is not here at the moment, you'd like him. He's another
cheeseboy like you"
Says Thuso trying to poke me
"Thuso cut it. Don't tell me he's busy with that chick again?"
Says Sakhile annoyed
"Muhle uSebe"
Says Chad accompanying his compliment with a whistle
"Body for days. Don't even get me started on that ass my bruh.
I'd like to tap that. If you saw her bruh you'd understand"
He says the last part patting me. I highly doubt I'd be that
interested in her but I put up a smile anyway
"She must be flames then"
I say
"I still want that fly friend of her's Bulo is the ish bruh!"
Says my cousin
"Except you freeze every time you have to speak to her.
Remember that day at the supermarket? Uhhh-iiiiiii--"
Chad says imitating Sakhile's stutter making all of us crack up
"I'll blow your brains out wena colored"
He says pissed.
"You'll the rest of the squad later today Ok?"
Sakhile says patting my shoulder, I just smile and nod. We drive
to town, we get to Sportscene where one of the guys in their
squad works the till. Apparently he helps with the card fraud
and they have 2 more at G-Star Raw and Fabiani.
"So Thaphelo makes the cards but we can only use them for a
certain period of time before the owner notices"
Thaphelo is the one at Fabiani
"And you guys don't get caught?"
I ask as we drive out of the mall
"Nope. You gotta be smart about this. We don't buy here
around Mpumalanga
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we go elsewhere to get the cops off our asses"
He says and all I can do is nod. We drive around town before
heading back to his neighborhood. Just as we are driving in, we
pass by the closed supermarket
"So what now?"
I ask since his mother sent us bread
"There's a shop around here. We'll get it there"
He says starting the car. I spot this Angel. I say angel because
she shouldn't exist! She's FINE AF! She's walking with her friend
and there's this guy that's trying to hala at her but homie ain't
paying no mind to him. I don't even wait for Sakhile to stop
before getting off the car and walking up to punch him in the
face and back to the car that's now not moving
"The fuck was that?"
Sakhile asks getting off the car to attend the guy I punched
.
.
-SEBENTILE

I hate to admit it but I had fun noSabelo though he still annoys

me. That day we went to the quiet part of the park and sat on
one of the benches and talked just as I was sure we going to the
right direction he wanted to get lucky, unfortunately for him
I'm not that kind of a girl. We ended up joining whatever was
going on and it was lit, I still don't drink I've tatsed alcohol once
and trust me I don't see what the fuss is really about that shit
ain't even nice it's bitter. We came back around 5 and by 6:30 I
had to be at work since it's close to Christmas the supermarket
gets busy so we open up early and close late, the Radebe's
make alot of money during this time of the year since people
are out to impress with food and alcohol, it was clever of them
to sell alcohol here so it's just a one stop shop nje you buy
groceries nalokubandzako all in one go.
"Hawu Sebe"
Someone said startling me if was already up the ladder ngabe
ngiwile (I would have fallen)
"Ayy marn Buhle don't do that"
She laughed at me
"Ngabe angikwenti kodvwa angitsi ulele emsebentini" ( I
wouldn't have to if you weren't sleeping on the job)
I yawned
"Dankie, the big boss didn't see me?"
I ask a little bit nervous phela if they saw me I'm fired
"Lucky for you he hasn't come out of his office yet but I'm
pretty sure he's looking at us through the monitors, awusho
kwentenjani?(tell me,what's going on?)
"With?"
"You never sleep at work and you look like you haven't slept in
days"
That's the thing with me when I don't get enough sleep,cry or if
I'm worried about something my face gives me up, my eyes
become baggy and I look like I've been hit by a truck.
"Iesh I went out with Sabelo yesterday and we came back this
morming"
She squealed
"Finally I thought you'd never give the guy a chance"
Well she's one of Sabelo's fans who have been pestering me to
give him a chance
"We just went out nje we not dating yet"
I say
"That's how it starts"
I was about to answer her when I heard my name on the
intercom
"Looks like you needed"
I sighed
"I hope I'm not in trouble"
"You wouldn't get into trouble even if you wanted to"
I smiled walking to the office, I knocked once then got in
"You called for me?"
I said after closing the door he was standing with his back facing
me when he turned I could see he was fuming
"Yini lengingakwenteli yona Sebentile?"( What is it that I don't
do for you Sebentile?)
We all know when an elder calls you by your full name that you
in trouble
"Akukho"(Nothing)
I said in a low voice looking down
"Angikuva!"(I can't hear you)
I cleared my throat I was on the verge of crying I hate being
shouted at
"Nothing"
"Then wentani nalomfana wakaMavuso?"(What are you doing
with the Mavuso boy?"
That's Sabelo
"Lutfo babe"(Nothing dad)
They said I should call them mom and dad actually it was Mrs
Radebe's idea and well it wouldn't hurt
"You call parading with him at the park for everyone to see
nothing!?"
I looked down and kept quiet his voice was rising bit by bit
"Sebe I'm talking to you!"
"Hhay Radebe that's no way to talk to the child"
Mrs Radebe says getting in and Rabede huffs
"Ngishilo kutsi sitokhuluma naye sobabili" (I told you we'll talk
to her together)
Radebe looks at her then at me
"Talk to her"
He says then walks out
"Don't mind him he's just being himself, sit down "
We sit on the couch that's in the room
"We heard you were out with Sabelo"
"Angijoli naye ma"(I'm not dating him ma)
I say quickly and she holds my hand
"I know but I wouldn't have been a problem either way don't
feel bad for growing up neh?"
I nod
"Just play it safe, you have to make it out of here neh nana?"
I nod
"Go back to work"
She says smiling and I smile back leaving. Now that is not how I
imagined my day being like
"Sebe"
She says as I close the door to leave
"Ma?"
"You can knock off"
"But it's just before 12"
I say
"I know but you need to rest, see you tomorrow"
"Thanks ma, I'll see you tomorrow"
She just saved me I didn't feel like being here anymore, I took
my bag saying bye to everyone and found Bulo at the tills
paying
"Muntu wami"
I say hugging her
"You look like shit,wait were you crying?"
I look at her blankly
"No I'm just tired"
She looked at me then payed and we left
"We not in front of people nyalo khuluma"(right now talk)
I sighed
"Radebe freaked cause I went out with Sabelo "
She frowned
"Why?"
"Angaz but his wife assured me he's just looking out for me"
"I hope that's the only thing"
She says catching my attention and I stop on my tracks
"What's that suppose to mean?"
"Nothing I'm just saying"
"Mmmm"
I say and we continue walking eating the apple munches she
bought
"So tell me about last night?"
She was in some guy's arms and they looked cosy
"Well it's nothing really "
I roll my eyes
"Babe I know what nothing is and that is me and Sabelo not
what I saw"
I look at her and her eyes have popped out I look behind me
and it's Sabelo, I don't feel bad
"So last night was nothing to you?"
I sigh what does he want me to say ngoba uvile ( because he
heard me) I try to walk away he quickly grabs my arm and just
then a guy came out of a moving car and punched Sabelo
making him fall and walked back to the car without saying
anything now that's fucked up. I kneel to check the damage
kodvwa there was something about the guy I don't what,
Sabelo's face isn't that bad just a bleeding nose.
"The fuck was that?"
The guy's friend asks getting out of the car coming to us but this
fucker doesn't reply just gets into the car.
"Are you okay dude?"
The friend asks
"What doyou think?"
I say furiously
"Ncesi mfetfu"
He says looking at Sabelo who just nods then back at me
"Keep your friend in order"
I say and he nods going back to the car after looking at Bulo for
a while, as much as Sabelo annoys me what this fucker just did
is really out of line.
7
GUGULEZWE
Sakhile gets inside the car furious
"I hope you happy"
He says starting his polo vivo. I chuckle
"So here in your town you guys let niggas harass girls?"
I ask with my arms folded
"That's his girl idiot! That's the Sabelo I told you about but you
don't care"
He says hitting the steering wheel in frustration, he's a little
dramatic
"I don't even get why you acting up"
I say
"That girl that was with Sebe is the girl I told you about. Bulo.
The most beautiful girl in town. Now you just ruined all chances
I possibly had with her"
He says starting the car
"You can't just go around hitting people Gugulezwe. People
around here don't respond well to such"
He wants, I shrug
"You need to apologize!"
I chuckle
"Over my dead body. She should be thanking me for saving her
from him"
I say super chilled. In all honesty I don't know what came over
me, I don't know why I'd just jump on a stranger and punch em
for no reason. I need to keep my anger in check.
"Fine. I'll apologize"
I say with a shrug
"Clearly it means everything to you"
I say sarcastically
"Let's get this bread and go"
He pulls over at a spaza shop and he gets off
He decides to mingle while I chill in the car texting some of my
school mates. I don't do friends.. I spot that pretty chick with
her friend and Sabelo. I get out of the car and walk towards
them, my heart is beating so hard almost as though its going to
beat out of my chest.
"Hi"
I say, she gives me that cold look giving me the impression that
she's not so happy about what I did. He friend greets
"Hi"
She gives her friend this look. If only she knew how cute she
looks angry
"Listen dude, I'm sorry for punching you. I thought you were
harassing her, I thought I was being a gentleman and stuff.
Sorry bruh"
I say. He looks at me, the guy was holding his nose with a toilet
paper, I must have done a number on him
"I'm Gugulezwe. I'm Sakhile's cousin visiting from Mthatha"
I say with my hand held out to Sabelo, he looks at it before
taking it into his to shake it
"Sabelo"
He says. We let go of each other an then I look at the girls
"I'm Bulo and this is my friend Sebe"
Her friend says pointing at the angel. I thought Philasande was
a beauty but good God Sebe is a goddess! Her beauty is not of
this world.
Sebe looks at me and clicks her tongue then turns to her friend
and says
"Who does this guy think he is huh? Coming here with his fancy
English and stuff"
She says all this in Swati. I chuckle because she must think I
don't hear her language.
"I'm sorry for having offended you and your friends. It won't
happen again"
I say then walk back to the car, Sakhile is back.
"And that?"
He asks and I shrug
"I just made a fool of myself. That Sebe chick is mad at me"
I say sulking. She's so pretty you guys have no idea. I love how
simple she looks and how calming her presence is. There's
something inviting about her, makes you want to sit and stare
all day.
He looks at me and laughs, as in that annoying laugh that
makes you want to punch his teeth out.
"You like her"
He says and laughs again. Oh my God. Kill me now!
"No I don't!"
I defend. He just laughs
"You like her cousin and you can't like her because that's
Sabelo's turf"
He says driving inside the yard, I chuckle
"As long as theres no ring on her finger then she's single"
I say getting out of the car, he laughs so hard
"You finna start a war man. Don't do it, Sabelo's liked that girl
for a very long time now. Everyone in the area knows better
than to play anywhere near Sebe"
He says as we walk inside the house
I chuckle, as if I'll stay away from a girl because some guy's
claiming her. May the best man win.
"What else is there to know about her?"
I ask putting the bread on the counter
"Well she just completed her matric, her grandma died so she
pretty much lives alone, the chick she was with is her best
friend, she goes to dad's church and she works at the
supermarket we drove past"
I smile
"I know that smile
what are you thinking?"
I shrug
"Nothing. Is she working tomorrow?"
He shrugs
"I don't know, its Christmas eve tomorrow dude"
I nod
"And what about the park? Doesn't she hang out there?"
I ask, I'm interested Ok! Shoot me!
"You really like this girl!"
He says, I chuckle at how he says it
"What girl?"
Aunt asks walking in, we look at each other
"Sebe, the girl from your church"
Says my cousin. Wow, this guy can't shut up!
"No, I just think she's cute"
I defend, aunty smiles
"She's very pretty and innocent. Stay away from her Gugu."
She says pointing at me with her index finger
"Come on mom don't be like that"
Sakhile says
"He likes her, let the poor guy have a young December
romance"
I just laugh leaving them together. He is mad and Aunt won't
dictate who I'm allowed to date and who not to
.
.

-SEBENTILE

"Uyamati lomfana?"(Do you know that guy?)

Bulo asks we are walking after I've put tissue in Sabelo's nose
"Ayy angimati"(No I don't)
I say and Bulo rolls her eyes
"I was taking to Sabelo"
I pout and Sabelo chuckles
"I don't know the one who pucnched me but the other one is
my friend"
"How come I don't know him?"
I say
"How would you when you want nothing to do with me?"
Sabelo says and somehow his words hurt me
"I went out with you"
"Not because you wanted to"
I open my mouth to talk but Bulo quickly jumps in
"So the guy's friend lo othi uyamati ngubani ligama lakhe?"(the
one you know what's his name?)
I look at Bulo
"Sakhile"
Sabelo says
"And why are you asking his name?"
I asked curious
"I just want to know"
She says shrugging
"Not that you want him?"
Sabelo asks and Bulo laughs, yey I know that laugh she's about
to lie
"No not at all"
I squint my eyes at her
"Don't look at me like that Sebe"
"Like what?
"Like that, squinting your eyes and stuff"
"What does squinting her eyes mean?"
Sabelo asks cutting in
"That you'll find out"
Bulo says
"I hope so"
He says looking at me and I half smile
"Ngihalele maG.S eBQ"(I'm craving barbeque flavored G.S)
I say and Sabelo laughs at me
"What?"
I ask
"Nothing I'm surprised you eat that shit"
"Ayy baba don't say that it's not shit"
I say
"Clearly you have never tasted them wena Sabelo"
Bulo cuts in
"And I never want to"
He says
"Hard luck ke cause we going to buy them"
I say pulling him towards the tuckshop
"Ahh this is abuse"
He says and we laugh him which is short lived when this fucker
from earlier comes up to us only then do I notice the car from
earlier, my anger instantly rises up and I feel like there's not
enough air for all of us to breathe right now
"Hi"
He says and I feel my armpits itching
"Hi"
Bulo replies I look at her what the hell is she doing greeting this
fucker?
"Listen dude I'm sorry for punching for you. I thought you were
harassing her, I thought I was being a gentleman and stuff.
Sorry bruh"
He says and we all keep quiet thinking he's leaving but nop he
starts talking again
"I'm Gugulezwe. I'm Sakhile's cousin visiting from Mthatha"
He says holding his hand out to Sabelo for a shake I'm mentally
telling Sabelo not to shake his hand but he shakes it mxm.
"Sabelo"
He introduces himself to the fucker who then looks at us I keep
my face straight
"Bulo and this is my friend Sebe"
I feel like choking her why are they entertaining this guy kant? I
didn't realise I clicked my tongue until Bulo looked at me
shocked
"Kucabanga kutsi kuyini loku kuta la ngalesingisi sakhe
sasebelungini?"( Who does thi guy think he is huh? Coming
here with his fancy English and stuff?)
I hear him chuckle and my anger builds up I don't know why
"I'm sorry for having offended you and your friends. I won't
happen again "
He says then walk back to the car and they drive away with
driver hooting and Sabelo waved.
"Sebe what's wrong?"
Bulo says rushing to me since she was on the other side
"I....I...can't"
I don't even finish my sentence cause I feel like if I say one
more thing I'll die eveb breathing is a struggle each time I
breath out I feel a hole opening up in my chest.
"Breath love breath..look at me"
Sabelo says holding my shoulders, I pop my eyes out I'm dying.
Ohh Lord do I have to day today of all days
"In.... out, yes that's it. Landza manti Bulo "(Get water Bulo)
"Drink "
Bulo says giving me water after drinking it I feel alot better
"What's wrong Sebe?"
Sabelo asks with his voice full of concern, I look up at him and
shrug. Honestly I don't know what happened I've never been
this angry before I don't know what's it with this guy and
getting me worked up like this it's not like I'm even dating
Sabelo to be this angry.
"We'll see you later neh"
Bulo says making me stand up
"Let me walk you guys home"
Sabelo says
"No it's okay, we'll call you nasifika"(when we arrive)
He nods kisses my check and watches us leave. We walk in
silence for a while and knowing Bulo it won't last
"What happened back there?"
As I was saying she never keeps quiet this one ayy
"Angati"(I don't know)
All in honesty
"Hhay Sebe lengikubone laphaya akusilutho"(What I saw back
there was not nothing "
I sigh
"Angati Bulo kutsi nje lomfana uvele wangikwatisa nje "(I don't
know Bulo the guy just made me so angry)
I say
"But you never get angry"
She's right I don't get angry, it's just the way I am it's weird I
know but I guess I wasn't born with an angry bone in me
"Sanibonani"
Gogo Mabuza says as we enter my gate
"Yebo ma kunjani "
"Akufani umusa nje sesi "(It's all grace my child)
"Sijabula kukubona ma"( it's great seeing you ma)
She smiles and we walk to the house
"Sebe!"
She shouts
"Go?"(Yes ma?)
"Konkhe kuluhlelo sesi"(It's all His plan)
I look her
"Askies ma?"
"Sitobonana"(We'll see each other)
She says walking away, she has started with her one sided talks
"And that?"
Bulo asks and I shrug, what plan is this and what is part of this
plan?
8
GUGULEZWE
If aunty thinks, let alone believes that I will let Sebe go she's got
another thing coming. There's this thing about her, she's got
this welcoming presence about her but she's not into me. I kind
of picked that up from her attitude towards me, we need to
change that.
I need to get information about her. Facebook details,
instagram and stuff. A beauty like that has to be on instagram!
My phone rings and it's my mom
"Mamzo"
I say answering, she giggles
"Hey honey. Unjani?"(how are you?"
"I'm good mama, ninjani nina? Uphi utata?" (How are you?
Where's dad?)
She chuckles, I think its the part where I ask about dad that
tickles her
"We good too baby thank you. Your father is in the room. So
tell me about her"
She demands sounding all excited
"About who now?"
I ask confused
"Don't act smart. You know exactly who I'm talking about"
I chuckle
"Let's just say I might be going to church this coming Sunday"
Mom laughs
"Oh is it now? That cute huh?"
She asks
"You know she is mom. Yoh umhle mama. Qah akandifuni"
(she's very pretty, except she wants nothing to do with me)
I say with a little disappointment at the thought of her attitude
towards me today. I kind of got the feeling that she doesn't
really like me much and I can't argue with that. I get that I
haven't given her reason to like me considering the way we met
but come on, can't she give a guy a chance?
"Its Gods plan baby. Its about to get really bumpy from hereon"
She warns, I'm astonished
"What do you mean mom?"
I ask, I'm really confused right now. She sighs
"Gugu there's a war coming your way. Getting with this girl
won't be easy my baby"
She says sounding a little down
"What are you talking about mom, she's saved mos"
I ask, I'm unsure though but I think she might be. I mean she
was in church the other day
"Look, going to church doesn't automatically mean you saved
honey. Look I don't know her personally but you Gugu need to
change your ways before they catch up with you and harm her"
She warns, I don't know what to say. What's mom talking
about?
"Mom what are you talking about?"
I ask
"Goodbye baby. Talk tomorrow"
She says and ends the call without even waiting for me to say
goodbye. I try calling her again but reach her voicemail, mom
and these tendencies of her. I mentally bang my head against
my hand. Wow!
Sakhile walks in
"Let's go to the park, the squad is there having a couple of
drinks"
He says, I don't know about getting drunk here.
"I don't know, and come home drunk? You know how your
mother can get. She'll wake us up with prayer saying we demon
possessed and that we disrespectful, we're a disgrace to the
church"
He starts laughing as I continue
"Mom can be extra but come on dude"
He says still in stitches. We both know how dramatic his mom
can get
"You need a drink and Sabelo said he managed to convince Bulo
and Sebe to join us"
He says, the minute I hear her name my heart skips a bit and I
get a little excited
"Sebe's coming?"
I ask, he chuckles
"Yes she's coming. So we getting drunk right?"
He asks all excited
"She's worth it"
I say, Sebe is worth getting in trouble for. We walk to the
lounge and join uncle and aunt, uncle is getting ready to go to a
meeting with the leaders of the church
"Uncle"
I greet
"Baba, what time you coming back?"
Sakhile asks
"You want to get up to no good as usual"
His dad says
"Well... I've been well behaved this whole year and I have no
doubt that I'll pass my matric dad"
He defends
"Fine. Don't come back late though. Take a key with you and
don't bring any girls in my house!"
He warns, I laugh
"We won't do anything we should dad"
I say assuring my uncle with that charming smile. Aunt laughs
"I believe you"
She says walking out.
We go to the rooms to prepare, I take a quick shower and fix
myself for Sebe. I just hope this time around she'll be a little
welcoming than earlier. All I need is her number so that we can
take it from there.
We start at tops to stock up a little and then drive to the park.
The guys are already there including Sabelo, I look around but I
don't see Sebe or Bulo around but there's some girls here with
the guys
"Sho gents"
We greet and they respond. We sit down and play some music
loudly, I sit on the open boot
"Sho"
Sabelo says holding a bottle of liquor sitting next to me
"Exe"
I say
"Sorry about punching you"
I say again
"Why'd you do it? I mean I don't know you, you don't know
me"
I shrug
"I don't know what got over me man. I thought that maybe you
were hurting her or something"
I say in my defence. She shakes his head
"I'm not stupid. I saw how you looked at Sebe, stay away from
her. She's mine"
I chuckle at this
"Don't tell me you feel threatened by a Xhosa boy from the
Eastern Cape, Mthatha even"
I say sipping on my bottle, he chuckles
"You don't scare me. Just stay away from Sebe. You don't know
her and she doesn't know you"
I laugh at him this time
"I'll let her tell me she's not interested"
I say and then get up leaving him to sit on the crate with the
guys. They fixing fire to braai meat. I see Bulo and Sebe walk in
together hand in hand. She's so cute wearing a denim dungaree
and a yellow long sleeve tee underneath with a white shoe.
She's so beautiful I can't even hear the rest of the guys speak.
"Gugu"
My cousin says nudging me
"What?"
I say startled
"Your phone dude!"
He says, I check my phone and its my friend Kwanele. I decline
his call waiting on the girls to reach us but Sabelo walks up to
them before they even get to us, I'm annoyed immediately!
"Don't!"
Sakhile says
Advertisement
I chuckle
"Don't what?"
I ask with a smirk
"Nothing!"
He says with a chuckle
"Damn right its nothing."
I say as they approach us
"Guys this is my girl Sebentile Phetsile Dlamini and this is her
friend Nonjabulo. Babe these are my friends, Sakhile, this is his
cousin Gugulezwe, this is Thuso, Stix and Chad"
Sabelo says. We all greet at the same time.
Sabelo stands with Sebe opposite me and whispers something
in her ear then they chuckle together. Sakhile offers Bulo
something to drink
"Can I get you a drink?"
He offers and Bulo smiles
"I don't know you like that Sakhile"
She says, he turns to me
"At least she knows my name"
He says all smiles
"I'm Sakhile Maseko, son of Pastors Doris and Isaiah Maseko.
What do you drink Miss?"
He asks
"Wine will do, sweet wine"
She says with a smile. He takes a cup and pours Bulo wine,
Sabelo walks away to answer his phone, Sakhile nudges me. I
walk over to Sebe.
"Miss Dlamini"
I say standing next to her. She rolls her eyes looking really
annoyed.
"Hi"
She says coldly
"Name is Gugulezwe Ncenjane, I'm 18 from Mthatha Eastern
Cape"
I say with my hand held out, she looks at it
"You already know my name"
She says with a bit of attitude
"You don't even know me but for some reason you can't even
stand me"
I point out. She chuckles
"You don't even know me yet you had the nerve to 'defend me'
by punching Sabelo"
She also points out with air quotes on the word 'defend'
"I didn't meet you by chance Sebentile Dlamini. Life has better
plans for you, for us"
I say and then walk back to where I was standing leaving her
confused as Sabelo walks back to her
.
.

-SEBENTILE

"So what are you doing for Christmas?"

Bulo asks as we are laying on top of my bed
"You know what I do, it's the same thing that I do every year"
I say changing my position to look at her
"Mmm"
That's all she says then keeps quiet
"Hawu that's what you wanted to ask?"
She also changes her position to look at me
"I'm still lost on what happen at that tuckshop"
She says
"Nami I'm still lost, I really don't get what happened"
It's frustrating
"It think we should ask Gogo Mabuza maybe she knows
something "
She says
"Something like what?"
I ask she's lost me how does me getting angry involve Gogo
Mabuza?
"Don't get me wrong, maybe her half told stories have to do
with this"
She says making some sort of sense
"I don't know babe"
"It won't hurt to talk to her"
"Okay let me take a nap"
"Let's take a nap, don't talk as if you are alone"
She says and I laugh pulling her closer to cuddle, that's what we
always do when we sleep together. My phone rings
"Whoever that person is has no timing, disturbing such peace"
I say as Bulo passes me my phone, I check the caller ID and it's
Sabelo
"Sabelo "
I say answering
"We haven't reached the hey babe stage yet?"
He asks and I can't help but laugh
"Too early"
I say and he groans
"You breaking my heart sweetheart"
"If I don't who will?"
I say and he chuckles
"Only you manage to do that"
"I'm glad I hold the title. How's your nose?"
I ask
"It's okay don't worry about me "
"I'm not worried about you"
"Keep telling yourself that. Listen let's go to the park later on "
He says
"No can do, last I went with you sibuye ekuseni and I'm still
tired "
I say and my statement catches Bulo's attention making her to
snatch the phone away from me
"Sbari" (Brother in-law)
She says and I roll my eyes
"Put the phone on speaker"
I whsiper and she does that
"Bulo talk to your friend tu"
"About what?"
"Ngitsi kuye asiyeni ephaki akafuni"(I asked her to come to the
park with me and she doesn't want to)
Sabelo says and Bulo looks at me like she wants to smack me
"Nawe ungeta Bulo if that will make her agree"(You can also
come Bulo)
He sounds desperate and makes my heart ache I've never heard
him being so sincere and vulnerable, his ego is always getting in
the way. Bulo looks at me as if she wants me to say something
and I just shrug
"Will that cute friend of yours be there?"
He chuckles
"Yah he'll be there"
"Well asikho is'dzingo sekuthi singeti ke"(There's no reason for
us not to come)
Bulo says
"Thanks can you give my girl the phone?"
He says and my heart melts no one has ever called me their girl
before so please allow me
"Babe "
He says and I can't help but blush
"Yes?"
"I'll see you later okay?"
"Who says I'll be there?"
I ask
"Inhlitiyo yami isho njalo"(My heart says so"
"Bye Sabelo "
I hear him laugh as I hang up
"You starting to like him neh?"
Bulo asks
"Says who?"
"It's all over your face and there's nothing wrong if you do"
I sigh
"I know but Mr Radebe doesn't like him"
"Loyo angayotiwisa eweni"(That one can go jump off the
nearest cliff)
She still doesn't like him she thinks he's got some hidden
agenda
"That's cruel"
"The world is cruel my dear friend"
She says and I can't help but laugh at the accent she makes. We
get ready to go to the park and Bulo calls her mom to tell her
where we'll be going and oh Lord the speech we get is enough
to last us a lifetime but at the end of everything she gives us a
go ahead with a be safe note.
By the time we get to the park it's packed as usual, the music
blasting loud, I can already smell the meat and I can't wait to
get my hands on it. We spot Sabelo and we walk up to him and
he meets us half way, he hugs me and Bulo then holds my hand
and we walk to the others and I notice the puncher is here as
well, Sabelo feels me tense up and holds my hand tightly.
"Guys this is my girl Sebentile Phetsile Dlamini and this is her
friend Nonjabulo. Babe these are my friends, Sakhile,this is his
cousin Gugulezwe,this is Thuso, Stix and Chad"
He says introducing his friends and I just smile acknowledging
everyone
"You look really beautiful"
Sabelo whispers to me and I giggle blushing he's slowly winning
me over
"You didn't tell me he'll be here"
I say to Sabelo and I know he knows who I'm talking about
"He's a cousin of a friend love and besides he did apologise"
He said shrugging and his phone rings
"Just a minute neh babes "
He says then walks away giving the puncher a chance to come
to me, I already know his name but I'll still call him the puncher
"Miss Dlamini"
My surname sounds sexy coming from him but I'm still rather
annoyed by his presence
"Hi"
I reply
"My name is Gugulezwe Ncenjane I'm 18 from Mthatha,
Eastern Cape."
He says holding out his hand and I just look at it then back to
his face
"You already know my name"
I say
"You don't even know me but for some reason you can't even
stand me"
I chuckle
"You don't even know me yet you had the nerve to 'defend me'
by punching Sabelo"
I say making air quotes he looks at me for a while
"I didn't meet you by chance Sebentile Dlamini, life has better
plans for you,for us"
He says then leaves, he's talking about plans and I'm somehow
wondering if they aren't related to the ones Gogo Mabuza was
talking about maybe Bulo was right I have to ask her about my
anger towards this 'puncher' Gugu. Sabelo touches my
shoulders making me look up at him
"Ohh sobuyile"(You back)
I say
"Yes and I was talking to myself all along "
"Ncesi"(Sorry)
I genuinely say
"It's okay, what did that boy want?"
He asks turning me around so I can be between his legs since
he's sitting on the open boot of who's ever this car is
"Bekatongicasula nje "(To annoy me)
"Ungamunaki kakhulu love angifuni kuphindzeke lokwasemini
neh?"(Don't pay attention to him I don't want a repeat of
earlier"I nod and he kisses my cheek then he reaches out to the
cooler box to get me a bottle of Appletizer atleast he's starting
to understand me.
9
-GUGULEZWE
Christmas is family time, after that night at the park. I think it's
safe to say I'm done with alcohol for now. OK that's a lie.
Sebe spent the whole night with Sabelo, giggling and blushing
at whatever he was selling to her. It was annoying but what
choice did I have really?
Oh well enough about those festivities, uncle and aunt believe
in going to church on Christmas. The whole house has to
attend, I don't know how I feel about that but we'll see how it
goes.
"Finish up Gugu, you'll be leading the church in a song for the
offering and Sakhile will be the one praying for the offering"
Aunt says standing by my door, I chuckle to myself. Yeah right.
"I don't think so aunt"
I say
"Hay andikuceli Gugu, ndiyakuxelela tshini!" (I'm not asking
you, I'm telling you)
She tells me walking out of the room. What do I know about
gospel? Heck I don't even listen to Gospel. I try and think of the
songs mom normally listens to or plays around the house when
she cleans and one comes to mind. I just don't know the words
to the song. The service is from 8-10am. I go on Google and
download the lyrics, I sure hope I remember the song lyrics
word for word. I practice while showering, aunty has put me in
a tight spot. I get out and lotion then get dressed and head for
Breakfast. We gave cereal and go to the car, this thing of
leaving with the pastors requires us to go in early as 7.
Apparently there's a prayer at 7:15 and then at 7:30 we'll get to
practise with the choir. I don't even know how to speak their
language, I don't even know how they feel about me singing an
English song or Xhosa song in their church. I'm literally a
foreigner in their church
. Just as we are driving my uncle stops the car for some old
woman. He turns to us
"Make space for gogo Mabuza"
He commands, Sakhile slides next to me and this Mabuza
woman. She gets in and thanks my uncle and aunt for the lift.
"And who is this one? I've never seen him around"
She says that talking about me
"He's my nephew Ma"
Aunt says
"He's my brothers son from the Eastern Cape, Mthatha. He just
completed his matric too and is visiting us for holidays"
She says sounding really excited
"That's nice. My neighbor and her friend have also just
completed matric. She is a very smart girl with a very bright
future ahead of her. Wena Gugu are you smart?"
She asks turning to me. In my head I'm thinking 'what's this
gotta do with me? Why's she talking about her neighbor and
then me?'. I chuckle
"Uhm... I don't know how to answer that question ma, but I
think I might be going to varsity next year"
I say, Sakhile nudges me and soon a text pops up on my screen.
Its him alerting me that this grandma is Sebe's neighbor. It
doesn't explain anything though because she doesn't know me.
My uncle parks his car and Sakhile and I are the first one's off
the car.
"What's her story?"
I ask as we make our way into the auditorium
"She's the neighborhood spiritual whatever. She's been called
many names around here, some believe she's a witch but dad
believes the woman is sent by God to do his work. Dad believes
that God speaks through her"
I nod a little confused
"And what do you believe?"
I ask as we take our seats at the back of the auditorium
"That dad is probably right. I don't know man, I've never shared
more than a greeting with that woman, you'll have to ask Sebe
seeing that they are neighbors"
He says annoyed
"Do you think she's coming?"
I ask, he shrugs
"Should have asked Gogo Mabuza then. I think she'll pull
through though"
He says with a shrug.
"You ready with a scripture for the offering?"
I ask nudging him
"Yah, its the same ish every year man. They always do this to
me"
He says
"Lucky you. This is new to me"
I say nervously
"You got nothing to worry about, you have a great voice"
He says patting my back. At 7:30 we are called to rehearse. We
rehearse and it actually goes great, I'm bonding with the choir.
There's a cute girl that's been throwing some vibes towards me.
She's prettier than Sebe but. BUT! Sebe is literally a breath of
fresh air. There's this thing about her as a whole that draws you
to her.
"You have a nice voice Mr Maseko"
The pretty girl says, I chuckle
"I'm Mr Ncenjane, Mr Maseko is my uncle and cousin"
She chuckles shyly
"I'm sorry, I thought you probably the prodigal son or
something"
She says jokingly. I laugh
"That's my cousin, Sakhile"
I say pointing at him, she smiles and nods
"I'm Mbali"
She says holding her hand out to me
"Gugulezwe"
I say shaking her hand. We stand in place and she leads the first
song as people start to walk in and those sitting stand up to join
her singing. She has a nice voice no doubt but she's not for me,
she has this slay queen look going on. My cousin walks up to
the pulpit. I chuckle.
"Good morning church"
He says and the congregation responds
"I am Sakhile Maseko, last born of our mother and father or as
some call me, the prodigal son"
We all laugh at the last part
"Merry Christmas everyone. I'll make it quick so that you guys
can rush home and cook those Christmas lunch's"
He says, I see his dad chuckle. My eyes are searching for Sebe
but to no luck. Maybe she's not here or she's sitting far.
"This is the part that most people don't like about church.
Giving. Some will even come late to avoid giving but the word
of the lord tells us that when you give you sow a seed for your
blessings so that the good lord will multiply them over and over
until they over flow. So as we are about to give may we not kid
ourselves and rob ourselves of blessings. Give unto the lord and
it shall be given back to you, good measure, pressed down and
shaken together until it overflows. May we hold our seeds in
our hands, close our eyes an bow our heads as we pray"
He says and we do as he says. He prays for the offering and says
his amen then leaves the pulpit. I take the mike and go up
front. My heart is beating out of its chest but what choice do I
have here?
"If it had not been for the Lord,
Who was always on my side,
The enemy would have swallowed us,
Would have drowned in the waters,
But our souls have found An Escape,
A hiding place in You,
The Fowler's snare is broken,
Our help is in the Name of the Lord.

And i'm nothing without You, without You,

You are the air that I breathe
Can’t live without You, without You Jesus,
In You I live and move and have my being

Hosanna to Jehovah,
You are the air that I breathe
Hallelujah, hallelujah
In You I live and move and have my being

Nothing without You, without You

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You are the air that I breathe
Can’t live without You, without You,
In You I live and move and have my being"
I go on singing Dr Tumi's Nothing Without You, the church
stands on its feet to join me singing. I didn't think I'd be able to
but hey its happening. By the time I am done its like the holy
spirit is in this place, I can literally feel the presence of the lord
in this place. My uncle approaches the pulpit and I wrap it up
and leave the stage. He tells the church or rather brags about
Sakhile and I telling them that some day we will lead the church
"One day these boys will lead the church"
He says proudly, I nudge Sakhile who laughs. We sitting at the
back bored AF waiting for the service to end. Uncle preaches
about the birth of Jesus and his great sacrifice so that our sins
may be forgiven.
"Did you see her while you were on stage?"
He asks, I shrug disappointed
"Nope"
I say
"Don't worry, this is a small neighborhood. You'll bump into her
soon and hopefully alone this time"
He says trying to comfort me but I'm not convinced. Sabelo is
just always there
"There's that Sabelo guy that acts as if he's her purse"
I say sounding annoyed
"Leave Sabelo to me"
He says confidently. Who am I to argue?
Uncle prays and soon after we ready to leave, of cause he won't
leave immediately because he's the senior pastor and there's
some things they need to discuss which means we'll leave in an
hour or so.
"Sakhile please bring me a glass of water"
We are startled by that gogo from earlier. Sakhile drags his feet
to the office
"Your name is Gugulezwe right?"
She asks and I nod
"Are you ready?"
She asks, I look at her with furrowed eyebrows confused
"For what Mah?"
I ask
"The war set before you"
She says calmly
"What war?"
I ask, she reminds me of mom with her riddles
"The one you seek requires love like no other but the love that
comes with her comes with a great war. Its not going to be easy
Gugu but it will be worth it in future"
She says so relaxed, I'm confused. Dumb even
"What are you taking about Mah?"
I ask hoping for some clarity
"You have to be strong in spirit and physically else all that you
have worked so hard for will come crumbling down"
She says
"Here is your water Mah"
Sakhile says
"Oh thank you son, God bless you. I should go attend that
meeting. Goodbye boys"
She says walking away. I don't know who's more confusing, her
or mom. I've just become dumber than before thanks to her.
Who is she even talking about?
"What's up?"
Sakhile asks, I shrug my shoulders
.
.

-SEBENTILE
Oh Christmas, it's finally here and I definately don't feel like
celebrating. The day since Grandma died I spend it a Bulo's I
sleep there on the 24th, wake up the following day and prepare
for church which always lifts my spirit up in a way.
"Ayy girls nisibonile iskhatsi?"(Girls did you see the time?)
Bulo's mom says as she barges into the room
"Mama"
Bulo groans under the blankets that pushes her mom to pull
the blankets off
"Ma!"
We both exclaim
"Ningatsi nywa kimi nina vukani nitilungise angifuna kuhlala
emuva mine"(Don't ma me wake up and get ready I don't want
to sit at the back)
She says then looks at me, her face changes like she just
remembered something
"Ohh my baby"
She says rushing to hug me and my tears involuntary fall
betrying me, I didn't want to cry at all but hugs always manage
to make me cry.
"She's happy nana, look at the woman you've grown to be.
Uyasebenta and I'm pretty sure you passed your matric with
flying colours. Keep on praying and it'll all be well"
She says, smiles then brings me in for a hug a one Bulo joined.
Bulo's mom breaks it and kisses my forehead she likes doing
that
"It will all be better"
"It's already better ma, I have you in my life"
She smiles pulling me in for a hug, breaks it then goes to
dictator mode instantly.
"Church"
She says in a firm voice leaving, Bulo and I break into laughter
how can a person change modes so fast?
"Umama is punishing us for going to that party"
I say to Bulo getting out of bed, she laughs
"I know, it was fun though"
"Babe!"
I exclaim
"Those guys sure know how to throw a good party"
Bulo says
"As much as I'm not a party fun I really enjoyed myself "
I say taking toiletries and putting them on the bed
"Because you were cooped up in Sabelo's arms, bese utsi
awumutsandzi"(then you say you don't love him)
"I did say and I still stand, I was just having a good time and he
gave me one "
I say going out to pour bathing water and Bulo follows me with
her basin I pour for her too and we go back to the room.
"Nisheshe nine lapho!"(Hurry up!)
Bulo's mom shouts as we leave the kithen
"Don't string the guy along Sebe"
I roll my eyes
"He really is a good guy babe"
"You team Sabelo now?"
I ask
"I know I hated him a school, a part of me still does cause he
was an asshole which I'm sure is still there underneath
everything "
"I'm starting to like him I won't lie, love, that I'm not sure of"
"So what you thinking of doing?"
"Just go with the flow "
She nodds and we continue getting dressed. Growing up
villages or townships rather you get used to bathing with other
girls not in the same water no but in the same room, it's not
surprising as some people make it out to be I mean do you
know how fun it is bathing and gossiping, laughing and even
giving advices at the same time? Try it some time.
"Angifuni kunilandza lapho Sebentile!"(I don't want to drag out
of that room!)
Bulo's mom shouts, she always does this when she wants
something done she tells me not Bulo cause that one takes
forever.
"Now that is enough to take get Sakhile's attention"
I say looking at her as she ties her braids
"Usho nje?"(You think so?)
She asks looking at herself
"Trust me, if he doesn't then angati nami"(I also don't know)
"Ngisite ngibophe la"(Help me tie this up)
She says and I help her tie her braids, she's wearing a black
under the knee high waisted skirt,a white loose blouse and
white ankle all stars, I asked her why she's not wearing heels
today.
"I need to be as comfortable as possible today"
She says helping me with my hair, braiding it. After a few
minutes she was done and I got up to put on my dress, a floral
navy blue off shoulder dress that's juts below my knees. Bulo
and I went out to dispose of the water
"Let's go"
Bulo's mom says as we get inside the house
"Kodvwa ma asidlanga"(But mom we haven't eaten)
Bulo says
"It's not my fault that you were busy talking about boys"
She says then goes to her room probably to get her bag and so
do we before long we on our way to church and when we get
there it's packed as always this time of the year. We get in as
Sakhile's cousin starts singing.
"I didn't know he can sing"
I shrug
"Didn't even think he's the church type"
Mthokozisi goes to the kids and Bulo and I sit with the youth as
mr puncher sings and I must admit his voice is so angelic you
see yourself next God having a conversation like old friends,
laughing and having the time of your life, everyone is on their
feet singing along and the holy spirit is moving in this place. Mr
puncher gets down and Mr Maseko gets up to start preaching
the birth of Christ and all.
I'm really not listening it's like I'm no longer in church but some
place and Mr puncher is with me and it looks like we are dating
or something cause he's giving me flowers they are white
excuse me but I don't know flowers by names and I can't even
distinguish between them, what catches me off guard though is
him calling me by my clan name which I'm sure he doesn't
know ngoba he's Xhosa and I know they don't know our clan
mames just like we don't know theirs unless we know each
other on a personal level. "MaHlubi I'm sorry I know I've said
this before not once even but please believe me this time I
mean it, forgive me sthandwa sami".

"Sebe!"
Someone nudges me, I look by my side and it's Bulo
"I lost you for a moment there,what's up?"
"Sorry I just had a weird dream"
"Hhaybo Sebe it's broad day light wena uyaphupha"(and you
are dreaming)
"I know, I know this just doesn't make sense"
"Let's go the service is over "
She says standing and I notice everyone is also leaving
"I really need to speak to Gogo Mabuza"
"About?"
"The dream or whatever it is that I saw"
"Sitoya later"
"You do remember the dinner we having at the Radebe's"
She rolls her eyes
"How can I forget, we'll start at Gogo Mabuza then the dinner"
I nod and we stand by someone's car waiting for her mom and
just in time she's rushing to us
"Hambani sisi niqalele nipheke sisaya emhlanganweni
nomfundisi"(Girls go and start cooking we are going to a
meeting with the pastor "
She says giving us the keys,kissing our foreheads then rushes
back to church.
"Wente kahle wangagcoki ema heels"(You did good by not
wearing heels)
I say as we walk with Mtho between us holding our hands.
"Simakadze ngabe ngiyini kulokushisa!?"(Lord, what would I
have been in this heat?)
She says and we both crack up laughter.
"Manyonyoba"
I say cracking up in laughter even Mtho joins in.
10
-GUGULEZWE
I can't believe Sebe didn't come to church, I was really hoping
to see her today. I was looking forward to her reaction to
hearing me sing today but I guess she had better things to do. I
won't lie I'm hurt but what's the point? She's not even my
girlfriend or whatever, this thing of me wanting her needs to
stop now. I need to let her go, she doesn't like me anyway nor
does she want me anywhere near her. She's better off with her
Sabelo anyway, I'm too bad for her anyway.
"Dude!"
Sakhile nudges me bringing me back to reality
"What did gogo Mabuza say to you? You been jumpy ever
since"
He asks and I don't know what to tell him. Earlier I said she was
just trying to get more info about me
"Its nothing bruh. Just that I really hoped I'd see her here you
know"
I say with defeat
"Yah mahn but check, you'll still her around here. Loosen up"
He says patting
"There's Mbali, she seems interested in you plus she's sexy AF!"
He says licking his lips making me chuckle,we standing by the
car as people leave the auditorium after cleaning
"Looks like a hoe to me"
I say rolling my eyes. Sebe may not be a 100 but she's mos def a
100 in my eyes. There's this saying in Xhosa 'amehlo
awaphakelani' which can be loosely translated to 'beauty lies in
the eyes of the beholder' or something along those lines. Sebe
does things to me no human should be allowed to feel. Its more
than the feeling you get when you horny. She's just amazing.
Her spirit, her presence is just amazing.
"Hey guys"
Mbali says stopping in front of us
"Hey Mbali"
Says Sakhile
"Ekse"
I say not even paying attention to her, my eyes are glued to my
phone. I'm stalking Sebe on Facebook. She's private, all I see is
her profile picture.
"I need to call Bulo"
Sakhile says leaving us. Apparently he managed to get her
number last night so I don't know where that's going.
"You have an angelic voice. Chris Brown ain't got nothing on
you!"
Mbali says, I turn to her and then chuckle
"Thanks I guess, you have a nice voice too"
I say
"One day I'll sign back up to Dr Tumi or I'll sing with Joyous, be
on the lookout"
She says happily
"That's nice. Hope all goes well for you Mbali"
I say not giving her the attention she so desperately wants.
"Anyway I should go, these guys have left me"
She says. I don't want to offer but the good guy in me decides
to screw me over
"Where do you live?"
I ask, she side smiles
"A couple of streets down"
She says, mentally I'm beating myself up but what am I to do
now?
"Come I'll take you half way"
I offer and she smiles innocently
"Thank you Gugu, that's sweet of you"
I nod and scan for Sakhile with my eyes but nothing. I text him
that i'll be back soon. We walk out of the yard over small talk
"Can I ask?"
I say and she nods
"Sebentile Dlamini. Do you know where she lives?"
She gives me questioning look
"I'll show you her home. Why?"
She asks, I shrug
"She owes me something that's all"
I say and she nods
"So where's your boyfriend?"
I ask and she giggles
"What boyfriend?"
I chuckle
"Don't play dumb with me"
I say. She sighs
"It was a school romance type of thing. I think I was his side
chick cause he wanted Sebe and not me. I think he used me to
try make her jealous but Sebe is not that kind of girl. It ended in
two weeks"
She says
"I haven't dated since. Guys from around here think I'm a how"
She says sounding hurt and I suddenly feel bad for my thought
earlier
"Why would they think that?"
I ask
"The weaves, the different cars that park in front of my home
and the clothes and stuff. My father is in politics, hence the
money. He doesn't live around here so every now and then he
sends his people to take me shopping, take me to school, take
me to joburg or just whatever. Its always different people for
my own safety since he's also into shady dealings... But of cause
I wouldn't go around telling every tom dick and harry this"
She says coming to a stop
"That's Sebe's home"
She says, I nod
"I doubt she's home though"
She adds
"Thanks Mbali. Would it be cliché of me if I asked to get to
know you better?"
I ask as we resume walking
"It would actually. I need to know your intentions so that we
don't waste each others time"
She says sternly, I chuckle
"At least give me your number so that I'll decide proper, have
something to think on"
I say, she side eyes me
"Give me yours"
She says handing me an iPhone 7 plus. I dial my number
"If I don't hear from you in the next 24 hours then this was
never supposed to happen"
I say and then hand her phone back.
"I should go back before they leave me"
I say kissing her cheek then leaving.
I get to church and the meeting is over, people are leaving the
church. A while later aunt and uncle walk out and get into the
car with gogo Mabuza.
"We've been invited for lunch at Nonjabulo's home"
Aunty says
"Sadly I'll have to miss it so you guys will go with your mother"
Uncle says
"Why? You Ok honey?"
Aunty asks
"I'm Ok, just a little tired that's all. I need some rest"
He says sounding really tired.
"Ok honey"
Mom says. We drive inside the drive way and drop uncle off
and then gogo Mabuza asks to use the bathroom while we go
and get into more comfortable clothes. When we done we all
head back to the car and drive to this Nonjabulo's home. Aunty
parks the car, its not even that far but whatever.
We all get off, aunty gives us money to buy drinks while they go
inside.
"I don't get why we didn't buy this on our way here"
Sakhile says annoyed, I chuckle but he's right
"Yeah well, the walk is needed so whatever"
I say. We walk to the shop over light conversation. We meet
Sabelo on the way. He greets and we respond, his presence
alone annoys the ish out of me.
"So what are you doing here?"
Sakhile asks
"Here to buy airtime. Gotta wish Sebe a merry Christmas and
stuff"
He says looking at me. Some guys need to get a life!
"Good for you"
I say
"You and Bulo seem to kick it off"
He says to Sakhile who chuckles
"She's pretty"
Sakhile says carelessly, I chuckle knowing how much he likes
her. I take the money and go buy the drinks leaving them to
talk. When I get back Sabelo leaves
"And that?"
I ask
"He's a dick. He was telling me about this other chick he's
getting ass from"
He says, told him if he was playing Sebe then we gonna have a
problem and he didn't like it"
He explains, I chuckle
"You care"
I say, he grabs one of the drinks from my hand
"Bulo would kill me if something ever happened to her friend"
He says
I laugh trying to imagine a happy person such as Bulo throwing
threats. We walk back to her home and knock on the door
which is opened by Sebe. I literally freeze. What's she doing
here? Wait the Nonjabulo aunty was talking about is Bulo?
Damn!
"Sebe hey"
Sakhile says pushing me out of the way to get in
"Hi"
She says stepping aside. I don't know what to say, she's so
beautiful.
"Hi"
We say at the same time. I look at her and chuckle
.
.

-SEBENTILE
When we get to Bulo's home we both get into comfortable
clothes, leggings and loose crop tops and flip flops. Mtho goes
to watch TV and we get started on lunch, over the years the
Christmas we used to have as kids faded, no more seven
colours or custard and jelly you know the works nje non of that,
I'm not much of a cooker but you can eat my food and not have
a runny tummy.
"What are we making?"
Bulo asks as we stand in the kitchen looking at each other, I
shrug
"I don't know,what were you thinking we make?"
She laughs
"I know you didn't just ask me that"
I laugh, she's a bad cook I'm even better than her, well she can
whip up a few things for breakfast and not dinner nor lunch her
mom has even given up on her.
"I feel for the guy who's going to marry you"
"Well I won't be getting married to cook"
"What will you be getting married for?"
"Story for another day"
I chuckle
"Okay, Let's do fried rice with mixed vegetables,chicken breasts
and a salad"
"Whatever that is it's okay"
"And dessert?"
"I see you on a mission to embarass me today "
She says and I laugh
"Definately not my aim lala"
"Mom will figure that out"
She says and I nod then we start taking everything out and I
instruct her on what to do, we cook over conversation. Half
way through the cooking her parents get in
"Kunuka kamnandzi mantfombatane"(It smells divine in her
girls)
Bulo's dad says and I just smile, I'm afraid of this guy he's not a
man of many words, holds so much prestige and demands
respect without saying anything, Bulo has been saying I must
relax around him but after so many years I still can't.
"Uyati ngiyalishaya ibhodvo babe"(You know I'm a good cook
dad)
Bulo says and her father laughs at her
"Nice try nana"
He says walking out
"She helped ma"
I say looking at Bulo's mom
"I know she did, listen we have guests over for lunch"
I'm glad we cooked enough, even if there were fifteen people
coming over they'd get food
"Guests?"
Bulo asks
"Yes, the Maseko's and I'm sure they'll be here any minute from
now hurry up"
I just hope she means only Mr and Mrs Maseko not Sakhile and
Gugu, yes I know his name who wouldn't know the name of
such a snack no infact a full course meal? Either way we not
there
"Should we change to something appropriate?"
Bulo asks and her mom smiles
"There's nothing inappropriate with what you are wearing baby
"
She says Bulo and I look at each other
"So we can walk around in leggings around the preacher?"
I ask and Bulo's mom genuinely laughs
"You not naked girls stop panicking and continue there I'm
going to change"
"Ma what should we make for dessert?"
"Don't worry there's ice cream in the frigde"
She says then disappears to the bedroom, I look at a smiling
Bulo
"And then?"
I ask
"Nothing carry on there"
She says chopping the cucumber
"Ohh"
I say when it finally clicks why she's smiling like a retard
"Ingoba Sakhile uyeta neh?"(It's because Sakhile is coming?)
I ask
"No, nothing to do with him"
She says and I dismiss her with a mmm. There's a knock on the
door and Bulo goes to attend it while I finish up the salad and
she comes back with the Maseko's together with Gogo
Mabuza.
"Sanibonani"(Greetings)
I say with a handshake to everyone but Mrs Maseko pulls me
into a hug, we lead them to the dining room
" Make naBabe bayeta nyalo"(Mom and dad are coming just
now)
Bulo says and the elders just nod
"Nginganitselela okokunatsa?)(Can I get you anything to drink?)
I ask
"Mine ungitselele emanti sisi abandzako"(Just water, cold water
dear)
Gogo Mabuza says and I look at Ma Maseko
"Anything baby"
I nod and excuse myself while Bulo goes to call her parents. I
take out juice and pour it into a jug, the water in a glass and I
put them in the tray, someone knocks as I take the tray I huff
going to the door. I open and it seems like my prayers fell into
deaf ears cause here he is with Sakhile and they have cool
drinks in their hands. I freeze I don't know what to say and we
look at each other more like get lost in each other's eyes.
"Sebe hey"
Sakhile says bringing my attention to the now, I clear my throat
"Hi"
I say and he walks into the house leaving me with Gugu, I don't
know what to say
"Hi"
We both say at the same time and he chuckles.
"Well are you going to let me in?"
He asks after a while and I feel so stupid right now
"Ohh yeah you may come in"
I say letting him closing the door after him, I sigh heavily then
walk to the kitchen
"Where's Bulo?"
Sakhile asks
"Uyeta"(She's coming)
I say then offer then seats
"I'll be back now now"
I say taking the tray to the dining room and the room is filled
with so much laughter, I give them their drinks thank God I put
in extra glasses.
"Is the food ready?"
Bulo's mom asks
"Yebo ma sitoqala siphakele nyalo"(Yes, we'll start dishing up
now)
I say, when I get to the kitchen Bulo is already there giving the
guy's drinks.
"We can start dishing up love "
I say and Bulo nods taking out dishes
"Kukhona lenangakudli bomakwakho?"(Is there something your
parents don't eat?)
I ask, Sakhile shakes his saying no
"Nine?"(And you guys?)
Sakhile looks at Gugu who shakes his head. My phone rings and
it's Sabelo
"Excuse me"
I say taking my phone
"Sabelo"
I answer moving away from them
"I won't complain anymore "
He says and I laugh
"It's work in progress "
I say
"It's okay, I wanted to say Merry Christmas "
"Ncooh thanks that's so sweet"
"I know I'm sweet"
"Don't get ahead of yourself now"
He chuckles
"Sebe buya!"(Sebe come back!)
Bulo shouts
"We'll talk later"
I say to Sabelo
"What's up?"
"We have the Maseko's over at Bulo's so I have to go dish up"
"And Gugu is there?"
"Yah why?"
I ask out of all the things he could ask he asks about him?
"Nothing, bye"
He says then drops the call, okay that is strange, I go back to
the kitchen with Sakhile and Bulo talking but Gugu is quiet and
he looks angry if I'm not mistaken.
"And then?"
I ask Bulo pointing my head to Gugu and she shrugs
"He's been like that since you answered your phone"
Now this is what is strange, what's happening kant?
11
GUGULEZWE
My mood switched up the minute Sebe answered the call from
Sabelo. The guy doesn't give up. He clearly doesn't know me. I
don't give up easily or maybe I should. Mbali is cute and
likeable, I hate to want to use her but I just might.
They dish up while Sakhile and Bulo flirt away over the dishes.
"So what did Sabelo want?"
Bulo asks, I roll my eyes and Sebe catches me
"Wishing me a merry Christmas babe"
Sebe responds unbothered as if I don't exist to her, I won't lie it
gets to me that she acts this way towards me.
"I didn't know Sabelo was capable of liking someone like this"
Sakhile says with a chuckle
"Yah, he's sweet now. Used to be a jerk towards Sebe back in
school"
Bulo explains and Sebe rolls her eyes as if Bulo shouldn't have
mentioned it
"He's always had a thing for Sebe. Everyone in the hood knows
or has known for a long time now that Sebe is his"
Sakhile exclaims, I see Sebe's expression change instantly
"What do you mean?"
Sebe asks sounding more concerned
"I've said enough. Can we take the food to the elders?"
Sakhile asks grabbing two plates while Bulo takes the other
two.
We left together and silence is so loud and the tension is so
thick. She looks really sexy dressed carelessly and so care free.
"So, did you go to church?"
I ask, hoping she'll say she did. At this point I'm just dying for a
compliment from her to convince me otherwise about Mbali.
"Yah I did"
She says coldly
"I didn't see you"
I say suddenly feeling a little self conscious. Sebe is just stone
cold towards me. Bulo and Sakhile walk back in and Bulo takes
one last plate to the lounge
"Sebe Bulo's mom asked that you pack a lunch box for my
father"
Sakhile reports and Sebe nods
"You were saying?"
Sebe asks as Bulo walks in
"About?"
Sakhile asks confused pulling a plate towards himself
"Let's sit outside, its more chilled out there than in here"
Bulo suggests, we take our plates and chairs and sit outside.
The food tastes good, its better than trying to talk to Sebe who
is not interested in me.
"About Sabelo, Sakhile"
She says irritable
"Look, this is something you should be talking to Sabelo about"
Sakhile warns
"Can we talk about something else, like Gugu's amazing voice!"
Bulo suggests annoyed, we chuckle. She's a fun spirit, I like her.
She and my cousin will get along very well.
"Thank you I guess"
I say feeling a tad bit exposed
"Didn't know you could sing. You had Sebe crying and almost
hating me for almost making us late"
She says and Sebe shoots her a look as if she just spilled all her
secrets
"Oh is it now?"
I ask looking at Sebe with a raised eyebrow
"You have a nice voice, nothing wow"
Sebe says downplaying it and Bulo laughs
"She was singing your praises"
Bulo says
"She couldn't shut up about your singing and how blessed you
made her feel, got her day-"
Sebe nudges Bulo shutting her up
"Ok Bulo you've made your point"
Sebe says shoving food in her mouth. It's cute how shy she can
be and then switch back up to cold instantly.
"Bulo tell me about Mbali"
I say, Sebe chokes on her food. I pat her back lightly
"You Ok?"
Sakhile and I ask at the same time
"Yah I'm good"
She says, I remove my hand and turn my attention back to Bulo
"She's the neighborhood hoe. Pretty, sings in church, we go to
the same school and that's as far as I know"
She says
"Stay away from her if you want to stay clean"
Bulo warns making us all laugh
"Don't be mean babe"
Sakhile says. I get up to go put my plate inside, I offer to take
the others but Sebe refuses with her plate telling me she has
her own legs to carry her to the kitchen in Swati. I'm confused
by her sudden anger. I will never understand her. We walk into
the kitchen me behind her
"What's your damn problem with me Sebentile?"
I ask yanking her arm as she places her plate on the table
"Nothing"
She argues trying to pull away from
"Let go of me I need to clear the dishes from the lounge"
She says annoyed
"I'll help you then"
I say letting her go following behind her
"Have you met my nephew? He's my brother's son Gugulezwe
from Mthatha"
Aunt says, I turn and smile
"Nice to meet you"
I say, Sebe is about to walk out when Bulo's mom calls her
"Baby please pour drinks for us and tell Nonjabulo to clean the
kitchen"
Says Bulo's mom
"Ok Mah"
Sebe says and we both walk out to the kitchen
"Why do you hate me so much Sebentile Phetsile Dlamini?
What have I ever done to you?"
I half yell at her
"Tone it down!"
She says with pleading eyes
"No! Answer me dammit!"
I demand, she walks to the fridge but I pull her towards me so
hard she falls to my chest.
"Let go of me"
She says looking up at me
"Not until you answer me! What did I do to you?"
I ask again but this time more calm but burning deep down, she
makes me so angry!
"Not-"
I cut her off smashing my lips onto hers shutting her up. At first
she's fighting me but it doesn't stop me. With every lock and
suck on her lower lip she slowly responds to my kiss. I shove my
tongue in her mouth and our tongues dance to a rhythm of
their own beat. Its rough yet slow and unrushed, its perfect.
Nothing like I've ever experienced before, its mind blowing. Her
lips are soft and tender and her ass, my God her ass is making
my nature rise. Been a while since a nigga got some Ok? We are
startled by a fake cough
its Sakhile
"Be glad its just me"
He says walking in and Bulo behind him. We let go of each
other the minute we heard him cough. Sebe can barely look at
me or Sakhile.
"What did I miss?"
Bulo asks
"Gugu and Sebe standing in the kitchen. K-i-s-s-"
I cut his singing off by throwing a swab at him and he chuckles
"Your mother said clean up while I serve them drinks"
Sebe says, she can barely look at me, its cute really.
"Need help?"
I ask as she pours the drinks with shaky hands
"So you two just kissed?"
Says a Bulo with an excited tone
"I'm fine thanks"
Sebe says, but I take the drink from her hands and pour it
myself while she stands on the side
"Will you be fit enough to carry these to the lounge without
dropping them?"
I ask with a smirk that throws her off
"I'll take them"
Sakhile offers taking the tray. I'm left with the girls
"I'll be back"
Sebe says walking out leaving me with Bulo
"What did you do to my friend?"
She asks with folded arms
"Nothing either than give her best kiss she'll ever get!"
I say with a confident smug that makes Bulo laugh
"You don't give up huh? You know she's dating Sabelo"
She warns
"We both know he's not who she wants"
I say helping clean the food off the plates
"So you and Sakhile"
I ask hoping to shift her attention
"He's charming"
She says
"I hope you talking about me"
Sakhile says walking in with an empty tray
"No!"
Bulo defends and I laugh
"She digs you cuz"
I say patting his shoulder
"Oh shut up Mxhosa!"
Bulo says, I laugh at how she pronounces 'Mxhosa'. Sebe walks
in and the room goes dead quiet, she seems fine to me. Less
shaky than before. I lean by the sink and she walks to the fridge
avoiding looking at me at all costs, I chuckle to myself
.
.
-SEBENTILE

"The food was delicious girls"

Mrs Maseko says as she comes into the kitchen followed by
Gogo Mabuza and Bulo's mom
"Siyabonga ma"(Thank you)
Bulo says and her mom eyes her, I hold in a laugh
"Ufundzisile yati sesi"(You have taught her well dear)
Says Gogo Mabuza to Bulo's mom who just smiles and looks at
her daughter who pleads with her eyes for her mom not to say
anything, I smile waiting for the bomb
"Mele sibonge Twana"(We should thank Twana)
And just in time she drops it
"Wayehlala asho kutsi akafuni Sebe ahlupheke"(She always said
she doesn't want Sebe to suffer)
Gogo Mabuza says and I just smile, Bulo's mom has started a
walk down memory lane and trust me it doesn't stop
"If she was here we wouldn't be standing like this"
Mrs Maseko says and I laugh
"Sebentile umsebenti umile njengoba nawe umile"(Sebentile
work is on a standstill since you standing)
I say and everyone breaks into laughter
"Nonjabulo sesi awukwati kukhuluma usebente, khona
lokungeke kulunge vele"(Nonjabulo dear you can't work and
talk at the same time, one in bound to go wrong)
Bulo says
"I don't know how she expected us work in silence"
I say laughing
"It's impossible "
Bulo jumps in
"May her soul rest in peace"
Mrs Maseko says and a couple of mmms are audible
"Sesiyahamba ma?"(Are we going?)
Sakhile asks and her mom nods as they gey out the door, I take
the Tupperware that has Mr Maseko's food and walk out. The
elders are in front of us and we follow, things are still tense
between me and Gugu and it's his fault not mine.
"So you can cook"
Sakhile says nudging me
"Ahh I try"
I say
"She's just being modest, she knows her way around the
kitchen "
Bulo says and I can't help but smile
"Sabelo's a lucky guy "
Gugu says sarcastically and I chuckle he's bitter
"Thank you for having us"
Sakhile says as we by their car
"It was a pleasure "
Bulo says with a grin
"Get a room you two "
I say and Bulo blushes
"Here's that food ma"
I say giving it to Mrs Maseko
"Ohh thank you baby besengikukhohliwe"(I had forgotten)
They get into the car after goodbyes and hugs and we watch
them leave
"Dishes girls"
Bulo's mom says as soon as we get inside, this woman has no
chill
"Ahh mama "
"Don't mama me wena, get to it"
She says heading to her bedroom I think, there's only the ice
cream bowls left to wash since Sakhile and Gugu helped us with
the others.
"So you and Gugu huh?"
Bulo says and I knew she wouldn't have kept quiet about it
"I just had my first kiss "
I say and she screams as if she didn't know
"So how was it?"
I feel knots in my stomach just thinking about it
"Gosh it was magical, I didn't know what to do cause I froze the
minute his lips landed on mine but as he continued I got a clue
and followed his lead, I felt tingers down there"
Bulo clasps
"Hhaybo girl"
"He's a great kisser"
I say with my mind darting back to the moment, the way he
held me well my ass to be exact it was like his life depended on
it and that he didn't want to let go
"I hope you thanking about Sabelo"
Bulo says and I look at her
"That smile on your face better be about Sabelo"
She says and I shake my head
"I know Gugu is hot and stuff Sebe but don't forget about your
boyfriend "
"Hawu Bulo"
I say
"Don't get me wrong I'm happy you had your first kiss but stay
away from Gugu"
She says looking so serious
"Okay "
"I mean it Sebe"
"I said okay"
"Good"
She says turning to put away the bowls, it's very rare for
overprotective Bulo to come out and when she does trust me
it's bad. She packs way the bowls in silence then we go to the
bedroom
"What led to the kiss vele?"
"Does it matter? You said I should stay away from him moc"
She rolls her eyes
"Yes but that doesn't mean I don't want the details"
I laugh
"He was busy being persistent about why I hate him so much
and stuff"
I say
"Why do you?"
"I don't "
"Then what's wrong?"
I sigh
"That's the thing he just annoys me but at the same time
there's this attraction nje between us that I can't explain. Does
it make sense though?"
She shakes her head
"No but I still say we should talk to Gogo Mabuza maybe she
was shown something"
I nod
"Ehh you won't beleive what happened "
I say after sometime
"What?"
Bulo says in anticipation
"Thandza tindzaba yong"(You love gossip"
I say to Bulo
"Ayy suka khuluma"(Talk)
"Ngenkatsi ngikhuluma noSabelo wangibita wena"(The time I
was talking to Sabelo on the phone and you called me)
"Yah"
"Ungibutile kutsi ngihlele nabobani, ngasho kutsi nawe
naboGugu ehh ngabe ngiyisusile"(He asked who am I with and I
told him)
"Ngani?"(By?)
"The mention of Gugu's name, he dropped the call on me"
"He does rub him off in a way"
"I know but that's no reason to be ride kimi "
I say in defence
"I know, maybe he'll call and apologize "
Bulo says
"He better otherwise ngeke ngisamqoma"(I won't agree to be
his)
Bulo screams hugging me you'd swear I said I'm getting married
"Oh my god, did I hear you right?"
I nod smiling
"You doing it cause you feeling guilty neh?"
I shake my head
"No, I just want to see where it'll lead"
"I hope you won't be leading the poor guy on"
"Ahh Bulo"
"I'm just saying, but I'm so happy for you babe"
I smile
"Enough about me, you and the preachers kid?"
I ask Bulo who blushes immediately
"You love him "
I exlaim and she hides her face with her hands
"I know I shouldn't "
She says
"What? Why?"
"It's too soon"
I laugh
"You being silly there's nothing like that, babe you can't decide
when to love someone it just happens you can't control it and if
you feel it go for it before you regret it"
I say
"You think?"
She asks with concern
"Yes and I think he's into you as well so you might as well do it"
She half smiles
"Okay I'll explore it"
"That's the spirit"
I say hugging her and her mom calls me
"Ma!"
I respond as I get up but she enters the bedroom
"Dish up some food and go give Gogo Mabuza I forgot to give
her some "
I nod
"Hambani ke"(Go then)
She says then leaves
"Makwakho uyathandza kulawula yooh "(Your mom loves
giving orders)
I say and Bulo laughs
"Uyamati moc"(You know her)
"Atleast we killing two birds with one stone"
I say as we walk out, it would have been hard explaining to
Bulo's mom why we going to Gogo Mabuza after we've seen
her and also it will give me a chance to see Sabelo so he can
explain his behavior.
12
-GUGULEZWE
The drive home is a silent one until Aunts phone rings and soon
mom's voice comes through the car speakers.
"Hey Sisi"
Mom says sounding happy
"Hey. How are you? Merry Christmas"
Mom giggles
"Thank you, merry Christmas to you too. We are good thanks
and you sound good"
Mom say and my aunt giggles
"Our sons shine today in Church, Gugu woo'd everyone with his
voice and Sakhile actually preached"
She says and Sakhile and I exchange glances. Women!
"You lie! They did? Aaaah I'm so happy and proud. You should
send me a video"
Mom says
"I will. How was your Christmas?"
Aunty asks
"It was great babe, where are the boys?"
Mom asks and Sakhile and I open the car doors and walk in the
house. We've already dropped off Gogo Mabuza.
"So you and Sebe"
He says with a smile, I chuckle
"She's not mine"
I say dismissing him
"You handled her like she was yours. But dude you need to stay
away from Sebe, she's Sabelo's"
He warns
"If she was then she wouldn't have kissed me back"
I say leaving him but he follows behind me
"As if you gave her a choice. Gugu Sebe is Bulo's best friend and
you my cousin. I care about you all but Sebe is a special girl
bruh so don't hurt her"
He says using that serious tone of his
"Relax. I have no intentions of pursuing Sebe, at least not now.
She'll be the one pursuing me"
I say with a smug, Sakhile gives me a confused look
"That Mbali chick is cute"
I say throwing myself on the bed, just then my phone rings, its a
number I don't recognize
"Hello"
The person doesn't respond but I can hear the person breathing
"Hello?"
"Hi, this is Mbali"
She says, her voice is so sweet and so cute I can imagine her at
my mercy
"Mbali?"
I ask
"We met at church today and you accompanied me home"
Sh explains. God her voice is adorable. Sweeter than Sebe's, its
a little husky but seductive too
"I remember now. I didn't think you'd call"
I say and she chuckles
"I wasn't planning to but your number is not available on
whatsapp"
She explains, I laugh
"Who still uses whatsapp?"
I ask
"I do. This Is my number"
She says
"I'm kidding. I'll hit you up later. Got any plans?"
I ask and she goes silent for a while
"There's a party tonight that I was invited to. I don't know if I'm
going"
She says, I can already imagine how she must look. Mbali is
sexy with a very cute face and tiny adorable voice
"Let's go then. Not like I have anything better to do"
I suggest
"I'll text you later. I have to go, bye"
She says quickly dropping the call on me.
"You smiling... What's up?"
He asks with a raised eyebrow
"Invite Bulo to a party today"
I say, he frowns
"Why?"
I shrug
"Cause I'm asking you to."
I say and he looks at me confused
"Mbali mentioned something about a party, I need to text her
and ask where the party is"
I say typing on my phone texting Mbali
"What are you up to cuz?"
Sakhile asks with a little concern
"Having fun before I leave"
I answer and leave him heading out to the lounge. Uncle is
awake and is sitting with aunt watching TV
"Your mother said hi and also she'll call you in a few minutes"
Aunt reports and I offer a smile. Sakhile walks in
"Mom we going out. We'll be back tomorrow"
He reports and his father's expression changes immediately
"Where are you going?"
"To meet my friends dad"
Sakhile says getting up
"Don't wait up"
He points out taking his car keys. We walk to his car and drive
out
"The party is at Stix place. Starts at 8 but for now we need to
stock up and get a little work done before we go there"
He says and the look on his face tells me otherwise
"What's going on?"
I ask
"You'll see. There's a guy that needs to be taught a lesson"
He says and looking at his pink knuckles gripping the steering
wheel, he's pissed
"What did he do?"
I ask a little worried
"Messed with the wrong crew"
He says with his voice deeper, I'm worried but its got nothing to
do with me. I wonder what this person did.
We park in front of this abandoned house. He pulls out
something from under his seat and it turns out to be a gun. He
cocks it and then walks out. Some of the guys are here.
"Where is he?"
He yells walking in further
"This side"
One of the guys yells. We follow the voice and find a guy tied to
a chair all beat up
"So you thought you could play in our turf and I wouldn't find
out?"
Sakhile says pointing at the guy with the gun on his forehead
"You got the wrong guy"
The guy pleads
"What's he talking about?"
Sakhile asks
"He's the one that's been distributing this side"
One of the guy's responds
"You see my friend. I am the only one that sells this side. I'll
send a message to your boss to never mess with us again"
Sakhile warns blowing his brains out startling me but the rest
aren't fazed.
"I came soon as I got your message"
Sabelo says walking in
"You didn't miss out on anything"
I say sarcastically
"What's he doing here?"
Sabelo asks pointing at me, I chuckle
"Can we deal with the matter at hand? Like these guys playing
in our turf"
Sakhile says
"So what? We take them out?"
One of the guy's asks, Sakhile shakes his head
"We don't know how many they are, for now let's send a
message to their crew. We'll meet up here again tomorrow and
find a way forward"
Sakhile says and they all agree
"Someone send this to their boss"
He says referring to the dead body on the floor
"Sho boss."
"Let's go buy alcohol"
Chad says. We walk out leaving some of the guys back
"Sakza"
Sabelo shouts behind us and we stop
"Look, your cousin is not one of us. We don't know if we can
trust him or not"
Sabelo says eyeing me
"So you don't trust me?"
Sakhile asks
"I do, its him I don't trust"
He points out
"I'm the boss here, you my second in command. Don't confuse
your role here"
Sakhile says and walks to the car
"You not one of us and you'll never be. Stay away from Sebe"
Sabelo says, I chuckle
"Until Sebe asks me to stay away, then I'll do just that"
I say with a smug thinking about the kiss we shared
"Wipe that smug off your face"
He says gritting his teeth
"You can't possibly feel threatened by me now. Anyway Sebe is
a friend to me"
I say and leave him hanging, he's as pissed as can be. I get
inside the car passenger seat and we drive off to a tarven. I'm
chatting to Mbali on Whatsapp and I find out that she doesn't
drink alcohol and I've managed to convince her to come to the
party with me.
"Still talking to Mbali?"
Sakhile asks and I nod
"What happened back there?"
I ask
"There's this other crew from the other township that's been
dealing drugs in our turf. Last time we met we made a deal to
stay away each other's turf or there'd be trouble"
He says as we get out
"So you the leader?"
I ask
"Here, yes. Our leader is in Cape Town. There's different groups
under the main, that's why next year I'm moving to Cape Town
to actually join The $pritz"
He says, the excitement in his voice and eyes you would swear
he's talking about a girl
"I see"
I say.
"I'll call mom while you head in"
I say, he nods and leaves me to it. I call mom and we talk for a
while
"I take it things between you two are good"
She says
"With who?"
I ask
"You never told me her name baby"
I shrug
"Uhhm... Sebe. She's dating this other jerk from here. She and I
can never be anything. Today I met this other woman and she
had a lot to say about this strange woman and stuff about time
and a whole lot of crap. I think she was talking about uSebe
who happens to hate my guts"
I say in defeat
"Things will make sense with time baby. Give her time. She's an
amazing girl to you baby and you need her in order to
understand what is yet to come. Its not going to be easy
between you guys but trust me it will be worth it"
She says confusing me more than uGogo
"As much as you will need her. She is going to need you to held
he overcome a few speed bumps in life. I love you baby and
please stay out of trouble"
She warns. If only she spoke in words instead of riddle's
"I love you too mom. Bye"
I say
"Wait. You still coming back on the second right?"
She asks
"Yes mom"
"Ok bye then"
I say dropping the call.
I walk in and the guys are sitting around a table sharing a
couple of beers while Sabelo entertains some girl by the corner.
I take out my phone and take a picture of the two. Sebe
deserves better. I return my phone to my pocket and go to the
guys. We sit and drink and soon Sakhile is called to the front.
He takes a case of beer and a couple of boxes of wine. I get up
to help him with the rest of the guys and load them into the
cars. We drive to the party and set things up.
Sakza mentions he's going to fetch Sebe and Bulo around 9
while I take a walk to Mbali's crib. We walk to the party over
light conversations and its actually nice. She's actually smart
and has been accepted to wits to study Medicine. On the way
we playing and its fun.
Just as we get in the yard Sakhile, Bulo and Sebe get off his car
and immediately Sebe turns and see's me. I don't know what to
make of her look but shes not happy.
"Since when does Sebe go to house parties?"
Mbali asks shocked to see them here, I shrug
"Let's go say hi and head inside"
I say with my hand around her neck while she holds it. We walk
up to them
"Hey guys"
We speak at the same time and giggle after
"I didn't take you guys for late night house parties"
Mbali says
"But I'm sure they your thing right"
Says Bulo in Swati
"Let's just go inside"
I say kissing Mbali on her head which makes Sebe green with
envy and my cousin just laughs. We get inside and head to the
kitchen, I need a drink to survive tonight
.
.

-SEBENTILE

"Ohh bantfwabami"(My kids)

Gogo Mabuza says as she sees us entering her yard, she has a
chair looking straight to the door don't ask me why no one
knows
"Niyaphila kodvwa ma"(Are you well?)
Bulo asks as we sit down
"Ngingahlala njani ngingaphili sisi"(How can I not be well dear?)
She answers with a smile on her face clearly showing she's at
peace
"Uma utsite sikuletsele la"(Mom said to give you this)
Bulo says giving her the tupperware
"Besingekho sidzingo"(There was really no need)
"Akunankinga ma, sibonile kutsi ngekhe usaba nesikhatsi
sokupheka"(There's no problem ma we realized you wouldn't
have time to cook"
I say
"Nkulunkulu anibusise, ningibongele nakumama"(God bless
you, tell your mom I said thank you)
Bulo and I both nod, I stand up to say bye but Bulo pulls me
down. I look at her confused
"What?"
I whisper
"Ask her"
She says and Gogo Mabuza looks at us
"Konkhe kuhamba kahle?"(Is everything okay?)
Gogo asks
"Yebo ma, cha"(Yes ma,no)
I say and she frowns her eyebrows
"Ikuphi okuyiko?"(Which one is it?)
She says and I sigh
"Ma uyakhumbula ngenkhatsi utsi kimi it's all part of a
plan?"(Ma do you remember the time you told me it's all part
of a plan?)
I ask and she looks at me
"Yebo nana"(Yes dear)
"Bewuchata kutsini?"(What did you mean?)
I ask and she keeps quiet for a while as if she's not sure what to
say
"Uyalati lelivi kuJeremiah leli khuluma ngemacebo?'(Are you
familiar with the verse in Jeremiah that talks of plans?)
I nod
"Kuyefana nakuwe Nkulunkulu unemacebo ngawe kodvwa
asiwati tsine ngobe sibenyama. Ngiyati unemibuto ngetintfo
letinyenti ngemphilo yakho lokwejaha loku kutokusita
kuyiphendvula lemibuto lonayo kodvwa ngekhe kube lula futsi
angeke ayiphendvule nyalo ngoba naye usenemibuto lafuna
iphendvulwe. Kuhlangana kwenu kulicebo sisi"(It's the same
with you God has plans for you but since we are of flesh we
don't know them well. I know you have alot of unanswered
questions about your life that boy will help you answer those
questions but it won't be something immediate cause he also
has questions of his own that need to be answered. It's all part
of a plan dear)
She says but I'm still confused
"Nawutsi lokwejaha usho bani?Gugu?"(When you say that boy
who are you referring to?Gugu?)
I ask and she nods
"Utongisita njani ma ngoba njalo mangimubona ngiva kuvuka
ulaka engingalwati lubuyaphi kodvwa ngiphindze ngive kuthula
nokutfokomala"(How will he help me when everytime I see him
anger arises in me but at the same time I feel peace and
happiness)
Bulo looks at me clearly surprised by what I just said but Gogo
looks unfazed
"Njoba atokusita ngemibuto lonayo nawe kanjalo utomsita
atfole kuthula emphilweni yakhe"(Just like he's going to help
you answer certain questions you'll also help him find peace)
This is all too much
"Ma akusiye mhlampe uSabelo lowaka Mavuso?"(Ma isn't
maybe Sabelo Mavuso you talking of?)
Bulo asks jumping in
"Uyinxenye yalohambo naye kodvwa akusiye"(He's part of this
journey but it's not him)
Bulo's phone rings ans she goes outside to answer leaving me
with Gogo and we sit in silence, I don't really know what to
make of what she said I have questions in my head tons of
them but I can't say them out loud. I'm disturbed by Bulo
tapping my shoulder, I look up at her
"Let's go"
She says
"Nisale kahle ma"(Be well ma)
She says to Gogo
"Nihambe kahle, Sebe"(Farewell, Sebe)
She calls for me and I look at her
"Nkulunkulu uyakutsandza sisi"(God loves you dear)
She says and I just nod going out, Bulo says something as we
walk but I hear her from afar it's like I'm dreaming or
something, she shakes me
"Aybo Sebe, are you okay?"
"I don't know"
I say and it's the honest truth
"I get what Gogo said is hectic but we'll figure it out okay? Yes I
don't get how Gugu is involved in all this but we'll figure it out "
She says and I half smile
"How about we go to this house party lendansi"
She says
"We going to alot of parties these days I no longer feel
comfortable with that "
"I know babes but Sakhile is the one who invited us"
She says making puppy eyes and I laugh
"You do know that those don't work right?"
I ask and she laughs
"It's worth trying but I'm pretty sure they'll work on someone
one day"
"And that someone is Sakhile neh?"
She blushes
"Say no more, let me call Sabelo if he's going then I'll go with
you angifuni kuyobamba likhandlela mine"(I don't want to be a
third wheel)
I take out my phone and dial Sabelo's number but it rings
before I call and it's him
"I was about to call you"
I say answering
"You mean botokwenta i call back "
He says and I laugh
"I do buy airtime"
I say
"But you never call me"
He says sounding sad and I chuckle
"You always call"
I say
"Okay makes sense, what did you want to say?"
"I wanted to ask if you going to that house party lendansi?"
"Yah that's why I was calling to ask you to come with so we can
talk"
"You have alot of explaining to do vele"
I say
"I know babe,what time should I pick you up?"
I look at Bulo and mime what time should he pick us up
"Sakhile will fetch us"
I say after Bulo tells me, he keeps quiet
"You guys seem very close these days"
He says with the same attitude from earlier
"Utongicasula"(You getting on my nerves)
"Sorry"
"I'll see you there"
I say and not wait for him to reply.
"And?"
Bulo asks
"Asambe"(Let's go)
I say and she texts Sakhile to fetch us who replies saying he's on
his way just picking up some supplies. As we are getting ready I
suddenly feel nervous, my heart beating out of pace it's like I've
just seen something scary or something.
"Hey are you alright?"
Bulo asks
"Yah it's just my heart is beating abnormally"
"Why?"
"I don't know,is Sakhile here?"
"Yah he's outside"
I take my back pack and put all the necessities, lock the door
then head to the car.
"Hey"
I say greeting Sakhile settling in the back
"You good?"
He asks and I nod since he's looking at me through the rearview
mirror, we drive listening to Rivals by Usher ft Future, both my
favourite.
"Will Gugu be here?"
Bulo asks as we park outside the crib
"Why you asking?"
I ask,why is it any of her concern if Gugu will be here or not
"I'm just asking, Sakhile?"
"He should be here by now"
Sakhile says and we got off and as soon as I turn I see Gugu
with Mbali, his hand around her shoulder. I don't know how I
feel but his hand shouldn't be around her but me. They come to
us and greet in unison then giggle like idiots, I roll my eyes .
"I didn't take you guys for late night house parties "
Mbali says and I figure I shouldn't say anything cause I know
whatever will come out of my mouth will ruin her night
"Tintfo takho leto angitsi"(But I'm sure they your thing, right?)
Bulo says and I see Mbali's face change.
"Let's go inside"
Gugu says kissing Mbali's head and my night just got
ruined,Sakhile laughs as Gugu and Mbali head inside the house.
"Babe"
Bulo says to me and I pull away from her since we were in a hug
"I'm going to look for Sabelo"
"Sebe "
She shouts as I walk away and I don't turn but walk to the
house bumping into Sabelo
"Babe are you okay?" He says holding me at arms length
"I need a drink" "But you don't drink"
He says dumbfounded "Just one glass please"
I say looking at him with pleading eyes
"Okay just one,come"
He says pulling me inside.
13
GUGULEZWE
Mbali... She's beautiful, smart, sexy AF! She's everything. Makes
me wish I'd gone to church sooner, you ever sit with someone
and literally fall in love with them as you talk? That's how I was
feeling. That's how I'm feeling, not that I'm head over heels or
anything but Mbali is a real catch and I'd be an idiot to let her
pass me by. I'm enjoying her company.
"One drink won't hurt"
I plead making puppy eyes, she giggles
"You cute but I don't drink. This right here is hitting all the right
spots"
She says making me chuckle
"At least accompany me to get a refill ke"
I say putting my hands together in a plea, she chuckles and gets
up offering a hand
"Let's go"
She says with her cute voice. She's wearing a high waist jean
and a white off shoulders crop top that shows off her amazing
hour glass shape.
"I need to pee, I'll meet you in the kitchen"
She says letting go of my hand
"One would swear you the one drinking booze here"
She giggles brushing me off. I walk into the kitchen and Sabelo
is pouring Sebe a glass of wine. Every part of me tells me to let
it go and that I enter no where but then there's that other side
of me that's a jerk and wants Sebe to stay away from this guy. I
walk over and grab the glass from Sebe and pour its content in
the sink with Sabelo asking me what my problem is
"You don't want to drink that!"
I warn Sebe placing the glass on the counter
"Non alcoholic beverages are in the fridge"
I say
"You not my dad"
She says folding her arms, I chuckle
"And Sabelo is? If he really cared about you like he claims he
does then he wouldn't be giving you alcohol in the first place!"
I say and then turn to Sabelo, I'm literally standing in between
them
"Don't test me. You don't know me!"
I warn
"The hell is your problem huh?"
He says shoving my shoulder, I look at his hand then at him
"Touch me again and that's the last time you'll ever use that
hand. Hlukana no Sebe if you won't treat her the way she
deserves to be treated!"
I say and push him out of the way and take out a drink for Sebe,
Mbali and liquor for myself. I hand Sebe a can of sprite, she
looks at my hand and then at me
"Don't be childish, take the drink. Its healthier than what you
wanted to drink. Its safer too"
I say, she takes it and Sabelo fumes with anger, I walk towards
the door and just then Mbali appears
"It was packed so I couldn't do anything"
She says sounding defeated, God she's too cute for words
"Then go pee outside"
I suggest, she looks at me with raised eyebrows
"What?"
I ask
"No! That's disgusting!"
She says, I laugh at her
"At least outside you won't get any STDs"
I say sipping my beer, she looks at me with defeat
"I guess you have a point"
She says
"Come I'll accompany you"
I say taking her hand, her monster can is in my jacket pocket.
She told me earlier that's what she would be drinking, monster
and appletiser
"You really beautiful Mbali"
I say
"A real flower"
I say and she chuckles
"Yeah. The alcohol is working in your system"
I chuckle
"As it should. Watch your step"
I say as we walk out of the house looking for a quiet spot away
from the people
"How do you trust a stranger?"
I ask and she laughs
"I don't but I sent my friend your numbers and picture in case
anything happened to me"
I nod
"Smart girl, I like that"
I compliment. I really like that she thought that far, some girls
don't do that.
"Here seems fine"
I say, she looks around and then unbuttons her jean
"I'll give you space"
I say moving away from her, not too far that she won't see me
"I'm done"
She says walking to me
"Can I kiss you? I've been dying yo kiss you ever since I went to
fetch you"
I say sounding stupid
"You may kiss me"
She says. I pull her close to me and plant a baby kiss on her lips.
"Thank you. Here is your drink"
I say handing her a drink, she looks at me and let's out a
chuckle. Yeah I do want to kiss her but not today, not now at
least. Not after the kiss I shared with Sebe
"And that?"
I smile
"What? Didn't you like it?"
I ask giving a naughty smile that always works
"It was a baby kiss"
"Correction. It was a kiss. I'd like to be fully sober when I
actually kiss you"
I say
"Let's go wash your hands"
I say putting an arm on her shoulder. I open the tap for her and
she washes her hands then I close it. We walk inside all cosy.
Music is loud and people are dancing
"Can you dance?"
I shout in her ear but not too loud
"I have two left feet"
She says laughing. I laugh too and take her hand
"Come let's dance together"
I say, she tries to pull away begging me not to but I don't listen!
We get to the dance floor and start dancing, she's right, she
does suck but I'm enjoying how she's not holding and has this
amazing smile on her face as we move. Its great.
"And you say you can't dance"
I say teasing
"We both know I can't, you just being nice"
She says. I don't respond and just move with her until the song
changes. I haven't seen Sakhile and Bulo since we came here.
Knowing my cousin, they probably in the car or somewhere
private. He's been wanting to bang her but he said he'd wait if
Bulo wasn't ready to. He really likes her poor guy and I'm happy
for him.
We walk to the couch
"I should go to my friends for a bit, they'll hate me if I don't at
least chill with them for a bit"
Mbali says, I shake my head
"Then let's go together"
"Gugu"
She says with a sigh
"My name sounds so sexy when you say it"
She giggles
"You came here with me, I'd hate it if anything ever happened
to you Mbali"
I say and she lights up. She's too cute.
"If you put it like that, let's go then"
She says taking out her phone to text. My eyes wander around
searching for Sabelo or Sebe but can't see them. I don't know if
I should worry or not. We get to Mbali's friends who are sitting
outside at the back drinking and passing around hubbly
"Guys this is my friend Gugulezwe, Gugu meet my friends"
They all chant "hi" and some "hello"
"Your friends drink and you don't... How?"
She shrugs
"It just happened"
She says innocently
"I need to check on someone, will you be safe here?"
I ask and she nods
"They good people"
She assures, I kiss her cheek and leave them all excited making
me laugh. I bump into Chad
"You seen Sakhile or Sabelo?"
He thinks for a while
"Sakhile should be in his car and Sabelo is inside with Sebe"
I nod
"Thanks"
I say and then walk in looking and searching for Sebe. I spot her
down the hall coming from the bathroom. I meet her halfway
and block her path, she's not looking until she bumps into my
chest
"Hi"
I say placing my finger under her chin to make her look up at
me
"What do you want now? To ruin my night even further?"
I frown confused
"Ruin your night further?"
She breathes out annoyed
"You piss me off you know that? One minute you sticking your
tongue down my throat and the next minute you walking
around kissing Mbali. You get mad when I drink wine. I don't
get you Gugulezwe. What is your problem? What do you want
from me?"
She says angrily speaking her mother tongue, I guess its true
what they say about anger making you speak your mother
tongue.
"You jealous of Mbali?"
I ask with a raised eyebrow, she huffs and tries to push me out
of the way but I don't move let alone shake
"Get out of my way!"
I shake my head with a smug which just annoys her
"Stay away from Sabelo, he's not good for you"
I warn
"What? And you good for me?"
She asks with her arms folded in front of her chest
"You and I both know I am. We need each other Sebe but you
need time. Time to figure things out, time to figure yourself out
but as for Sabelo. Don't even make that mistake, you will live to
regret it"
I say, she's as confused as can be. I cup her face and she looks
up at me innocently
"I care about you Sebentile. More than you know even"
She squints her eyes at me, I kiss her forehead and let her go
making my way to the car.
I knock on Sakhile's window, he yells I should go away. I laugh
out knocking again, he rolls the window down
"What?"
He asks really pissed
"Nothing. See you around"
I say leaving him like that. I return to Mbali who is sitting next
to some girl and they laughing and chatting.
"Hey"
I disturb. She looks up at me
"You back"
She says
Advertisement
I nod
"Yep"
"Gugu this is Lelo"
She says and Lelo flashes me a smile with a wave
"Nice to meet you"
I say. Mbali gets up and comes to whisper in my ear
"Please accompany me home, its pretty late"
She says, I look at my watch and its past 12am
"Already?"
I say sulking
"Yes already. I'm drained and usually at this hour I'm in bed"
She says, I put my arm around her shoulder and kiss the side of
her head.
"Ok let's go"
I say, she says goodbye to her friends and we walked in through
the crowd hand in hand until we made it out front.
We walked out of the yard and into the street
°
°
-SEBENTILE
We get into the house and it's packed more than I
thought,Sabelo leads me to the kitchen and I few people get
out as we walk in
"Are you sure you want to drink?"
Sabelo asks as he takes out a bottle of wine from the ice
"Will you stop asking me a thousand questions and just pour
the damn glass or should I?"
I say irritated
"No don't, but are you really okay?"
He asks as he pours me a glass, I don't reply but take the glass
instead I'm about to drink it when the atmosphere changes, I
feel shivers when I look at door Gugu is staring at us I can't
clearly read his face I don't know him well enough to, I fix my
throat to gulp down the wine but the glass doesn't even reach
my lips Gugu takes it and pours the contents into the sink, as if
he can't ruin my night any further he's the reason I even
thought of alcohol in the first place now he's denying me that
chance.
"You don't want to drink that!"
He says placing the glass on the counter and I look at him
folding my arms, Sabelo looks ready to kill someone
"Non alcoholic beverages are in the fridge"
He says with a voice filled with so much authority
"You not my dad"
I say folding arms whining
"And Sabelo is? If he really cared about the way he claims he
does he wouldn't be giving you alcohol in the first place!"
He says in a tone I figure he's angry but I managed to pick up
that he cares
"Don't test me. You don't know me!"
He says turning to Sabelo and the tone he uses is more
aggressive than the one he used on me
"The hell is your problem huh?"
Sabelo asks shoving Gugu's shoulder my guard is already up
waiting to stop a fight,I don't want one erupting in my name
I've managed to stay invisble all year round can't be getting
attention now
"Touch me again and that's the last time you'll ever use that
hand. Hlukana noSebe if you won't treat her the way she's
deserves to be treated!"
He says shoving Sabelo out his way opening the fridge
"And you know that way"
Sabelo mumbles but I hear him, I frown my eyebrows. Gugu
gives me a can of sprite
"Don't be childish, take the drink it's healthier than what you
wanted to drink. It's safer too"
Sabelo signals that I don't take it but I take it anyway and I see
his jaws clench. He doesn't say anything until Gugu is out the
door with Mbali who thank God arrived after all the drama
"Really Sebe?"
Sabelo finally says
"What?"
I ask
"Why do you let him do that?"
"Do what?"
"Treat you like you are his girlfriend?"
"Hhaybo I never did that"
I defend
"Really? A minute ago you wanted to drink then he comes
along you behave like a kid caught atealing candy"
I open the can of sprite Gugu gave to me and Sabelo snatches
it, I look at him frowning what's with people and taking my
drinks today?
"Sabelo kahle kahle what's your problem with Gugu?"
I ask
"The guy just gets on my nerves and ontop of everything he
thinks he can come here and takes what belongs to me,us this
ain't his turf it's mine "
He says
"What of yours did he take?"
"Nothing yet but I see he wants you"
He whispers the last part,I want to laugh but we in the middle
of something serious
"And you feel threatened?"
"What no, why would I he's just a boy "
He says and I chuckle
"I believe you,so that's why you dropped the call on me earlier
when I said I was with them?"
"Yeah, I mean babe you spend more time with them lately and
it's normal that I don't want anyone to come near you
especially that Xhosa fool who think he's entitled to you"
"Don't worry babe"
I say and he grins
"Yini?"
"You just said babe"
"I did?"
I ask sounding surprised
"Yes you did"
I smile
"Well I guess it was time"
I say and he pulls me in for a hug a full one, and I remember we
have never hugged it's always side hugs not a full one like this,
did I mention he smells heavenly? I pull away from the hug and
he tries to kiss me and I look away
"Sorry I just got carried away"
He says moving away
"Don't worry it's okay"
I say, not that I didn't want to kiss him but I'm still recovering
from my first kiss earlier with Gugu, the guy knows how to use
his lips
"Let's go chill with my friends "
He says after taking a can of Windhoek, giving me another of
sprite don't know what happened to the one Gugu gave me, he
takes my hand into his and we go to the lounge to a group of
guys with evryone having a girl either on their lap or next to
them. He greets them by handshake and I stand there not
knowing what to do
"Guys you remember Sebe moc"
Sabelo says
"How can we forget her when she's all we hear about "
Stix says and I smile awkwardly
"It's great seeing you again Sebe"
Thuso says
"Likewise"
Sabelo sits down and there's no space left for me, he pulls me
to his lap. I sit making sure I don't relax otherwise I'll break his
bones phela akunamuntfu la
"Relax love "
He says whispering in my ear
"I don't want to break your bones "
I say and he laughs
"I'm actually stronger than I look,relax"
I says and I then sit comfortable listening to the conversation
going
"What would you do Sebe?"
One of the girls asks and I recognise her from school
"With?"
I ask I didn't get where the conversation started
"Say Sabelo has a girl best friend who happens to be hotter
than you neh,he goes out one night and doesn't tell you where
he's going and you find him at a party with the girl on his lap
like how you are seated with his hand on her ass. Mind you you
once fought about her and he said we are just friends?"
Sizakele the girl who was our head girl asks
"I'd throw a fit obviously, the only ass he's suppose to touch is
mine if he's touching some girls ass he might as well kiss our
relationship goodbye"
I say and I feel Sabelo tense up
"Exactly what I said and they busy saying he wasn't cheating
moc"
One of the girls who's next to Thuso says
"Even flirting is cheating to me"
"So wena Sebe you saying if you found my boy here in such a
position you'd dump him?"
Stix asks
"He better not be doing it, I'd dump his ass without thinking
twice"
"What happened to second chances babe?"
Sabelo finally says
"Second chances my foot, the minute you touch someone else
the way you suppose to touch me or even look at them the way
you suppose to do to me I'm leaving kusho kutsi I'm not enough
for you angitsi?"
Sabelo doesn't saying anything
"Ntwana yami you heard for yourself Ms Dlamini here doesn't
take nonsense"
Thuso says and they all laugh then another topic arises
"Are you okay?"
I ask Sabelo who's been awfully quiet
"Yeah I am why?"
"Nothing, I need the bathroom"
I say
"Lemme come with you"
He says trying to stand up
"No it's fine just tell me where it is"
"Through the passage third door on your right"
I give him my drink then go to the bathroom, I do my business
wash my hands then check if everything is still okay as I go out I
remember I haven't seen Bulo since we arrived I need to check
on her, I bump into someone and I know it's a guy cause of the
hard chest I look up to apologize and to my annoyance it's Gugu
"Hi"
He says
"What do you want now? To ruin my night even further?"
I say annoyed
"Ruin your night further?"
He asks and I sigh
"Yati uyangenyanyisa nyalo you were kissing me manje you
kissing Mbali. Uyenyanya nanginatsa utshwala, kantsi yini
inkinga yakho Gugulezwe? Ufunani kimi?"
I feel all the anger from earlier rising and I do breathing
excersises before I get another attack
"You jealous of Mbali?"
He asks irritating me more, I try push him out my way but he
doesn't move
"Get out of my way!"
I warn and he just smirks
"Stay away from Sabelo, he's not good for you "
He says and I chuckle
"What? And you good for me?"
I ask folding my arms
"You and I both know I am. We need each other but you need
time. Time to figure things out, to figure yourself out, but as for
Sabelo don't even make that mistake, you'll regret it"
What he is saying sounds familiar, he cups my face
"I care about you Sebentile. More than you know even"
He sounds genuine but he's confusing me, he kisses my
forehead leaving me confused. I wait a few minutes pulling
myself together then walk back to Sabelo
"I was about to come look for you"
He says as I reach him
"I'm fine,can we leave?"
He looks at me
"Did something happen at the bathroom?"
He asks sounding concerned
"No I'm just tired that's all"
He stands up
"Gents I'll see you later, need to take my woman home"
He says to the guys
"Why are you leaving so early Sebe?"
Sizakele asks
"I'm just tired, bye guys "
Sabelo takes my hand and we leave
"Let me look for Bulo first"
I say and Sabelo points at Sakhile's car, we go there and I knock
on the passengers side
"This is not funny anymore Gugu"
Sakhile says as Bulo opens the window
"Ohh it's you "
He says
"Yep it's me, babe I'm calling it a night"
I say to Bulo
"Already?"
"Yep"
She looks at Sakhile
"I'll drop her off"
Sakhile says and I nod
"My house okay"
"I know, guard her with your life Sabelo"
Bulo says
"Yes ma'am"
"I love you "
Bulo says and I turn to kiss her cheeck
"Love you too"
14
-GUGULEZWE
We reach Mbali's home over light conversations and playing on
the road. She's a nice person and I don't get why Bulo would
tell me to stay away. We stop in front of her house
"So..."
I say, she smiles
"Thank you Gugu, I had a great time with you. You're an
amazing guy"
She compliments, I can't even contain my smile
"Its a pleasure. I enjoyed your company, you're a pretty cool
lady Mbali and any guy would be lucky to have you"
I say pulling her in for a hug which she returns
"Thanks Gugu"
She says breaking our hug
"I'll see you around"
She says walking inside the gate and locking it
"You can count on it flower!"
I say watching her walk to the porch
"Why are you still here?"
She asks turning to me
"To make sure you don't get stolen"
I say and she giggles
"You too sweet. And what happens if you get stolen?"
I chuckle
"Then I'll know I got stolen doing the right thing. Goodnight
Flower Child"
I say as she opens the sliding door. She waves and closes it. I
wait until she closes the curtain then make my way back. On
the way I meet up with Sebe walking with Sabelo. Why doesn't
this girl listen? Where the heck is Bulo and Sakhile?
"Uyaphi Sebentile nalomfana?" (Where are you going with this
guy?)
I ask with a firm voice
"What's it to you?"
Sabelo asks in Swati
"Bendinga thethi kwa nawe ke wena. Sebe baphi ababantu
ubuze nabo?" (I wasn't even talking to you. Sebe where are the
people you came here with)
I ask looking at Sebe
"Not that it's any of your business but Sabelo is accompanying
me home. Now please"
She says in Swati, I chuckle
"Unless you want me to tell Bulo's mom about her carelessness
of leaving you with a stranger. I would suggest you let me take
you home. We both know you safer with me"
I say pulling her hand, she yanks it
"Let go of me!"
She says
"You don't own me and that would be a low blow even for you
Gugu. Just let me be please"
She says sounding angry
"You heard her. Leave"
Sabelo says in Swati
"Are you done with that girl you were busy shoving your tongue
down her throat at the tavern?"
I ask hoping to dismiss him. He shoves me and I shove him back
"Stop it! Both of you!"
Sebe yells. We both stop to look at her
"Is it true?"
Sebe asks Sabelo, I can't read her face
"He's lying. Babe don't tell me you believe umafikizolo over
me? A guy who's done nothing but try come between us from
the first time he met you"
He pleads in Swati, I chuckle. Is this nigga for real? Sebe seems
to buy his story
"Really Sebentile? You really going to believe him?"
She looks at me and then at Sabelo
"A real boyfriend that loves and cares about you would never
go behind your back and do things that will make you the
laughing stock of the town! If he was able to use Mbali, what's
to stop him from using you the same way?"
I ask and I can tell he's pissed and shook as to how I know all
this
"Look, you safer with me more than you are with him. Let me
take you home"
I offer her my hand
"And where's Mbali? The girl you were busy with all night?"
She asks sounding a bit jealous. I chuckle, its cute that she's
jealous
"Really Sebe? I can't believe you right now! Yazini. Do whatever
you want!"
Sabelo says and storms away
"See what I mean?"
I sag pointing at Sabelo
"You piss me off!"
She mumbles in Swati
"I heard that. You safe, I got you"
I say putting my arm around her neck, she belongs right here.
She pulls away from me
"Don't! Don't touch me Gugulezwe!"
She says. I let her be, we walk on silence but she just stops
making me stop too
"Why did you kiss me?"
That question caught me by surprise
"I don't know. I wanted to, I've wanted to for a very long time
and today I got a chance to do so and took it"
I explain, she nods slowly
"But still. You know I'm dating Sabelo"
She reminds, I move closer to her but she moves back
"Don't come close"
"Why? Scared I'll kiss you again?"
She clicks her tongue and resumes walking and pull her hand
and turn her to look at me
"I'm sorry. Its just that you deserve so much better than Sabelo.
Not that I'm any better than he is but I'd rather you be with
anyone but him"
I say hoping to get through to her
"Why?"
I sigh
"He's a jerk, an ass even. Not that I'm any better cause I'll only
ever hurt you worse than he ever could but for your own sake,
just stay away from him"
I warn. She sighs and continues walking, I walk beside her in
silence. We get to a house and she opens the gate, I stop. The
atmosphere beyond the gate is just different, its pulling me. Its
peaceful here. I don't know but I'm getting the feeling I got
when I was in church earlier.
"You Ok?"
Sebe asks startling me
"I'm fine. I should go, you should go inside"
I say
"You being weird. You sweating, are you Ok? You should come
in and sit down"
She says. I feel normal, I don't feel like I'm sweating but my
heart is racing. I shake my head
"Gugu you going to collapse. Come inside"
She says sternly in Swati. I walk in the yard and suddenly my
knees feel weak like I'll collapse any minute. I walk with her
inside and she leads me to the lounge where I sit on the couch.
I feel like I can't breathe. Its bad
"Gugu you Ok?"
She asks sounding really concerned
"I can't breathe"
I finally manage to say as hard as it is, she's confused
"What? How?"
I try to get up but my body I'd heavy.
"Sebe water"
I say and she goes and gets it. I zone out immediately like I'm in
a trans. I look around but its really dark where I am
"Gugu"
A voice says from afar
"Who are you?"
I ask looking around confused AF!
"That does not matter. What matters is that you in my home.
Thank you for looking out for my baby Gugu, you did good
tonight. If you weren't there lord knows what that boy would
have done"
The woman says. I am beyond confused
"Take care of her. A lot is coming your way Gugu"
She says and soon Sebe is shaking me.
"What? What happened?"
I ask
"What do you mean? You were sweating and couldn't move.
You were talking to someone, I don't know who. You scared me
Gugu"
She says looking shaken.
"What's going on with you?"
She asks handing me water
"Thank you"
I say and drink it at one go
"So?"
She asks, I shrug
"I don't know what you talking about. I should leave"
I say getting up
"You can't leave
its late and what if you fall on the road?"
She says
"You look weak"
She says.
"Spend the night and leave tomorrow Ok? I'll bring you a
blanket. Can I get you something to eat?"
She offers, I smile
"Yes please"
I say. She nods and leaves me, I can't tell her, I tried but I
couldn't. I literally forgot everything until she walled out of the
room. I don't get it. Its weird. Its like she shouldn't know. I'm as
confused as she is. She comes back with a pillow and a blanket
and tells me she'll come back with something to eat. I sit and
wait until she comes back with bread and tea
"Thank you"
I say
"You welcome"
She says stealing glances at me making me nervous
"You scared me Gugu"
She says,
"And I'm sorry I did Sebe, it wasn't an intention of mine"
I say. She nods.
.
.

-SEBENTILE
Gugu eats while I'm watching him he really scared me, how can
a person be fine and the next moment they've fainted and
hallucinating?
"As much as I'm enjoying the attention you giving me you'll
make me choke"
He says and I look at him
"Huh?"
I only caught his sentence half way so I'm lost
"Stop looking at me like I'm dying"
He says then finishes his tea giving me utensils
"I'm sorry it's just that... never mind"
I say standing up
"Talk to me"
He says and I shake my head going to the kitchen I put the
things in basin when I return to the lounge I find him dozing
off,I tip toe to put the blanket on him but he wakes up before
I'm done
"I'm sorry didn't mean to wake you"
I say
"Come here "
He says pulling my arm and I fall ontop of him
"Gugu marn"
I say and he chuckles making space for me on the couch
"Talk to me"
He says
"About?"
I ask trying to sound as normal as possible being this close to
him is not good for my heart cause the way it's beating is not
normal
"Before you went to the kitchen you wanted to say something"
He says and I look at him contemplating if I should talk or not I
mean I don't know him like that
"It's just that Gogo sometimes experienced whatever it is that
happened"
He frowns
"What do you mean?"
"She'd zone out sometimes and you can clearly see she was
talking to someone but when you look at her she's lifeless in a
way, when she comes back she'd say she doesn't remember
what happened. So you had me worried cause last she
experienced that it didn't take long before...before she left me"
I say the last part in a whisper cause I feel tears building up,
why now? It's been long since I talked about her and cry
"I didn't die hear I am"
He says trying to convince me and I half smile
"I can see, I'll call it a night then. Shout if you need anything "
I say standing up
"You not going to sleep with me?"
He asks and I frown, he laughs
"Not not like that, I mean next to me"
"Ohh"
I sigh in relief
"I'm okay with sleeping alone"
I say
"Sweet dreams beautiful"
He says and I can't help but blush, my heart melts hearing him
call me beautiful touches something in me
"Lale kahle nawe Gugu"(You also sleep well Gugu)
"I'm just a scream away"
He says as I walk away and I turn giving him a smile a genuine
one, I strip of the clothes I was wearing and grab a baggy t-shirt
that I usually sleep in, it was Gogo Twana's. I check my phone
and there's a message from Sabelo
"I can't believe you just did that to me Sebe,how could you
trust me over him huh? Sebe uyangati ngihlala nawe you've
met him for what 3 minutes and already you trust him more
than him? What if he rapes you or something then what?
Ngiyakutsandza Sebentile kodvwa tintfo longeta tona tenta
ngitibute kutsi angentanga liphutsa na? Bengititjela kutsi
uyangitsemba. Sitokhuluma k'sasa if you still alive."
I don't know how many times I read it and the same question
comes to mind, how can I trust Gugu over him? Truth is guilt
was written all over his face he didn't even try to deny what
Gugu said, atleast if he tried convincing me otherwise but he
didn't he just walked away. If he really thought I wasn't safe
with Gugulezwe then he would have fought to make me come
with him home but he didn't, is this the guy I want to be with
really?
"What is Gugu doing here? Sleeping on your couch even?"
Bulo asks with an attitude walking into the kitchen,she came
back around 4 I'm sure she couldn't wait to ask me about this
"I don't know why you are asking cause you already know the
answer"
I say not looking at her
"Weren't you suppose to be with Sabelo "
She asks sitting on the counter
"Doing what with Sabelo?"
I say stopping stirring the oats I'm making
"Cause he's your boyfriend and you left with him last night "
"Alot happened after that"
"What's alot?"
"Sabelo had an altercation with Gugu when he was
accompanying me and well as you can see how that ended"
I take out bowls to dish up
"I really don't get it babe, wasn't it suppose to end with you
coming home with Sabelo either way?"
She aks
"If he didn't walk away from us maybe just maybe I would have
"
"Kahle kahle what happened?Stop telling me half a story"
"The time Sabelo engikhapha we bumped into Gugu and as
always they exchanged words and Gugu said I'm not safe with
Sabelo. He also told me that Sabelo is busy with other girls
behind my back. Alot was said marn friend and at the end Gugu
came home with me"
I said
"How can you trust Gugu more than Sabelo? You don't know
the guy Sebe"
Bulo warns, I look at her why does everyone not trust Gugu he's
never done anything to hurt anyone since he came
"So you saying I should trust Sabelo?"
"I'm not saying that but better the devil you know"
I can't believe she just said that, how can she still defend
Sabelo?
"Well your dear friend didn't even deny the allegations
Gugulezwe made"
"Did you give him a chance to?"
"Hhaybi Nonjabulo"
What's wrong? I'm telling you the truth"
She says
"Let me leave before I say something I'll regret "
I say then take the try to Gugu, I find him already awake folding
the blanket
"Morning "
I say putting the try on top of the coffee table
"Hey"
He says smiling
"How did you sleep?"
"Like nothing ever happened"
He says sitting down
"Here's breakfast,should I pour milk?"
He shakes his head
"Just as it is with sugar and butter"
I pour it for him then go back to Bulo. I take my bowl saying
nothing to her and sit with Gugu.
"What will Mbali say when she finds out you slept here?"
I say, he stops eating and looks at me
"What does Mbali have to do with anything?"
"Everything"
He chuckles
"Are you jealous?"
My inner woman crosses her arms ofcourse I'm jealous
"N...no I'm not I'm just asking, I'm a girl Gugu and I know I
wouldn't like it when the guy I like is busy with other girls
sleeps over even"
"What she doesn't know won't hurt her and besides we not
dating or anything "
He says
"Ohh so that's why you'll say when we are dating?"
"Huh?"
Did I say that out loud? I was saying it in my mind moc
"I was asking if you want another bowl"
He chuckles frowning his eyebrows
"No thanks, I'll be on my way"
I walk him out passing Bulo who gives me the evil eye, I wonder
what story Sabelo sold to her.
"Can I have your numbers?"
Gugu says pulling away from the hug
"Let's skip that for now"
I say walking away can't have Sabelo angry again.
15
GUGULEZWE
I switch my phone on and I have a dozen missed calls from
mom, aunt and Sakhile. I dial mom first as I'm walking home
"Mama"
"Gugu what the hell? I've been worried sick about you"
She says as soon as she answers, she's in panic mode
"Mom, I'm fine. How are you?"
I ask
"Gugu you couldn't breathe. Is everything OK?"
She says sounding really worried
"Mama I don't know what is going on. All of this is confusing for
me and being told constantly that a lot is coming my way
doesn't help the situation or clear the confusion. Mom what is
going on?"
I ask with a firm voice
"Baby even the little I know won't clear up your confusion. All I
know is that you and Sebe's relationship won't be a smooth
ride. Even being together will take a miracle"
I stop, I'm confused right now. What?
"What do you mean? What are you talking about?"
I don't realise I'm in the middle of the road until a car sends me
flying and I land on the floor half conscious. My whole body is
in pain, the person gets out of the car and walks up to me, my
vision is blurry
"Hlukana no Sebe. She's mine!"
The person says and drive's off leaving me slowly going
unconscious and soon it's lights out for me.
I wake up to machines beeping and an oxygen mask covering
my mouth and nose. My whole body is painful I can't move an
inch
"Don't move, you only going to hurt yourself even more"
Aunty says sitting beside me
"You really are stupid!"
Sakhile says standing by his mother, I chuckle and that alone
hurts. He removes my mask
"Gugu what happened?"
I shrug trying to think
"A car hit me"
I say. Sakhile chuckles
"Obviously dummy! But how? How did it happen?"
"I don't know. One minute I'm talking to mom on the phone
and the next I'm flying"
I say, Sakhile looks at me squinting his eyes at me
"Where is he? Where's my son?"
Mom shouts coming towards my room. How long have I been in
here kanti?
"Ma'am you can't go in there"
Someone says trying to stop her, she walks in and clasps her
mouth
"How long was I out kanti?"
I ask looking at Sakhile
"Long enough for Makazi to get here"
He says with a chuckle. This guy!
"How are you Makazi?"
He asks but mom is too busy worried about me to answer him
"Gugu how did this happen?"
She asks settling on the chair on the other side of my bed
"I don't know Mah"
Dad walks in
"Son how are you?"
He asks standing behind mom
"I feel like I got hit by a car"
I say sarcastically
"Where's the doctor, how bad are your injuries?"
Mom asks
"I'll go get the doctor"
Sakhile says
"He broke a couple of ribs and bumped his head"
Aunty says
"So he can still walk and use his hands and arms?"
Dad says, aunty nods
"So when will he be discharged?"
Mom asks sounding concerned
"Today or tomorrow, depending on how bad his head injury is"
Aunty says. Just then my doc walks in, she's beautiful
"Gugulezwe Ncenjane"
She says looking through my file
"So can I leave?"
I ask annoyed
"I need to check you out first and then we'll take it from there"
She says, mom steps aside to give her room to do what she
needs to. She checks me out, checks my memory, checks for
pain and whether I can see properly and stuff.
"I'll give you something for the pain and it will knock you out
almost instantly"
She says
"And when can I get out of here?"
I ask
"When you less in pain and can move without flinching"
She says and I sigh.
"I used to be a nurse, can't I take him home and get him
painkillers at the pharmacy?"
Aunty says
"Gugu needs rest and proper care for now pastor Maseko"
Doc says
"Can we leave him to rest now"
Doc says
"We'll wait outside"
Dad says
"I'm not going anywhere"
Mom argues settling on a chair, that's my mother for you!
"Don't even argue with her doc"
I say as I doze off slowly due to the meds injected in my drip.
"Gugu"
Someone says shaking me lightly, I open my eyes, its Sakhile
"Mmh"
I mumble
"What else do you remember?"
He's whispering
"It was Sabelo"
I say
"What?"
He says sounding shocked
"He's the only person who at this point hates me enough to run
me over with a car and tell me to stay away from Sebe"
I explain. He nods still a little unconvinced
"He's going to pay!"
Sakhile warns
"No. Don't do anything, if I act out then I risk being with Sebe"
I say, Sakhile raises an eyebrow
"He needs to know that he can't mess with my cousin and get
away with it"
Sakhile says. I sigh, knowing him. He won't let it go
"What's up with your girlfriend?"
I ask
"Wenzeni uBulo?"
He asks frowning
"She gave me a stink eye when I left Sebe's home. I get the
feeling that she doesn't like me"
I explain
"Well she doesn't hate you but after hearing you were busy
with Mbali she felt some type of way about you. She thinks you
playing Sebe"
I sigh at his response
"But I'm not playing Sebe. If anyone's playing Sebe, its Sabelo.
The guy is ouchea cheating on her and giving her alcohol and
stuff"
He nods and let's out a sigh
"Well Bulo is not convinced by you at all. I tried putting in a
good word for you but you being from Mthatha and all doesn't
help the situation. She feels like Sebe is not ready for a long
distance relationship with my cousin that just showed up out of
the blue"
He says. I click my tongue
"Whatever. She need not worry. I'll play far from her friend"
I say disappointed.
"You really like Sebe neh?"
He asks and I find myself nodding
"There's something about her cuz. I don't know what cause I'm
still trying to figure that out myself"
I say
"And what about Mbali?"
I sigh
"Mbali is an amazing girl, very sweet, lovable even and I don't
want to hurt her hence I haven't made any move on her and I
won't make any move on her until I'm sure about where Sebe
and I stand"
I say. He just nods
"Your life sucks"
I nod
"I know"
"Oh well. I'll come back tomorrow"
He says getting up from the chair
"How long have I been here?"
I finally ask
"You been here since around 7:30. Some guy that was driving
by picked you up and dropped you off here. Here is your phone.
I had it fixed"
He says handing me my phone that looks brand new
"I know people Ok! So yah, glad you're Ok. Soon as you well
enough, we dealing with Sabelo. I'll tell Sebe to come see you"
He says walking towards the door
"Thanks cuz"
I look at the time and its past 5 to 6 already.
I'm about to doze off when I notice Sebe standing by the door.
"Hey, come in"
She looks concerned AF, its cute
"Hey"
She says swallowing really hard walking in
"How are you?"
I ask, she shrugs
"I should he asking you that. How are you feeling?"
I shrug
"I asked you first Sebe"
She giggles nervously settling on the chair beside my bed
"I'm Ok. Sakhile dropped me off here"
I nod
"That's nice of him"
I say.
"To answer you I feel like shiit. Sorry for the language"
I say having noticed at her cringe at me saying the swear word.
"What happened?"
She asks looking so concerned
"I got hit by a car"
I say, she looks at me with a raised eyebrow
"I think I was at the wrong place at the wrong time. I wasn't
looking Sebe, it was a hit and run"
I explain and she's looking at me like she doesn't believe a
single word I'm saying
"Sebe I'm Ok, its nothing major"
I say hoping she would relax a bit
"If you say so"
She says unconvinced
"I wanted to talk to you about us"
I say
Advertisement
and she looks at me with shock
"I need to know how you feel about me and where we stand.
The last thing I want is to hurt you Sebe or hurt Mbali in the
process. I don't want to string anyone along here"
I say. She looks at me, I can't read her. I don't know what she's
thinking, I'm scared that maybe I scared her off or something. I
know about the dreams and everything but I feel like if we try
out anything now, it won't work at all.
"I don't know if I should be saying anything but I feel like if we
try anything now then we both know that it won't work out. I
feel like I'm emotionally and spiritually not ready to be with you
and I feel like that will lead to a dozen problems between us. I
get dreams Sebe. I zone out and after what happened when I
was at your home. I'm scared"
.
.

-SEBENTILE
I find Bulo doing the dishes when I get back, I take another dish
cloth and rinse wiping after we do this in silence
"Why?"
I finally ask
"Why what?"
"Why do you defend Sabelo so much?"
She wipes her hand
"Because I think you deserve to be happy and he can give you
that. We not sure of Gugu plus he's not from around"
"Ohh so just because he's not from around automatically that
makes him a heartbreaker or someome not to be trusted?"
"I don't mean it like that babe"
She pleads
"Explain"
I say grabbing a chair, we already done with the dishes
"It's just that I fear him hurting you"
She sounds sincere
"There's no guarantee that Sabelo won't do the same"
I say
"When you put it like that ke"
She says pouting
"Come here I hate it when we not okay "
I say hugging her
"It was the longest 30minutes of my life"
She says breaking the hug
"Ihaba"
I say and we both laugh
"Sabelo hasn't tried explaining himself?"
"He didn't but he sent this message "
I show her the message he sent and I see her face change as
she reads
"Uyanya lo"(This is bull)
She says
"Language child "
I warn
"How could he say that? He's unbelievable, what were you
suppose to do? Run after him in the dark?"
She says angrily
"Calm down, I didn't reply if he wants us to talk he'll call or
come here to face me not send messages"
"He's full of himself yaz"
I chuckle she's no longer team Sabelo nyalo eyy my friend, my
phone rings and she hands it over I look at the ID it's Mr
Radebe
"I forgot to go to their house yesterday"
I say to Bulo
"You were busy with men"
She says laughing
"Answer it "
I take a deep breath in
"Hello"
"You've abandoned us Sebentile"
Mrs R says on the other side I'm relieved it's her not her
husband
"No ma I wouldn't "
I say
"But you didn't come yesterday we were expecting you even
my kids were here"
She says now I feel guilty she has always wanted me to meet
them
"I'm so sorry ma but I promise I'll come today with Nonjabulo"
She shoots me a eye I don't care I won't go alone, her phone
rings and she leaves to answer it
"No problem love, later then?"
"Yebo ma"
"Bye"
She says hanging up, now I have to bath lord. I boil water in the
kettle and go take out clothes, a printed under the knee,
medium sleeve dress with sandals, when the water has boiled I
pour it into the basin add cold water then go bath. Bulo gets in
as I'm getting dressed
"Are you okay? You look like someone died "
I say as she gets in in slow motion
"Yah I'm okay, are you done?"
"Yeah, what's wrong?"
"Sakhile is waiting for you outside, go I'll clean up "
She says avoiding eye contact
"Ngiyaphi naSakhile mine?"(Where am I going with Sakhile?)
I ask
"Gugu was hit by a car"
My heart stops I suddenly feel dizzy, I hold on to the wardrobe
for balance
"Is...is he okay?"
I feel tears threatening to come
"I think so"
She says I grab my phone and run out, I have a feeling Sabelo
had something to do with this. Sakhile opens the door for me
from inside
"Is he okay?"
It's the first thing I ask settling down
"Sawubona nawe Sebe"(Hello to you too)
He says and I half smile
"Sorry, how are you?"
"I'm okay, he's fine also nothing major and he's awake"
I nod and we drive in comfortable silence till we reach the
hospital
"Hit me up when you done I'll come fetch you "
He says as I'm getting off
"Thank you"
I ask for his room number at the reception then go there, I
stand by the door and see him dozing off. He looks fine but I
can't help feel responsible for him being here, if I didn't stop
him from leaving last night he would be sleeping comfortably in
his bed not here
"Hey, come in"
He says I didn't even realize he's awake
"Hey"
I walk closer to him trying to stop my tears
"How are you?"
I shrug
"I should be asking you that, how are you feeling?"
He shrugs
"I asked you first Sebe"
He says and I settle on the chair next to his bed. He tells me
what led him to this bed and now I'm even more convinced it's
Sabelo and I can see he knows that he's here because of me,
the topic of us...whatever us going on between us comes up
and I swear I wasn't ready for what he says, yes I knew he has
something for me and related to what Gogo Mabuza Mabuza
has been saying I know it's beyond us.
"I don't know if I should be saying anything but I feel like if we
try anything now then we both know that it won't work out. I
feel like I'm emotionally and spiritually not ready to be with you
and I feel like that will lead to a dozen problems between us. I
get dreams Sebe. I zone out and after what happened when I
was at your home I'm scared."
He says and I feel my heart sink, I take his hand into mine and
hold them they are cold so I warm them up with mine
"I'm also scared Gugu, what I feel for you isn't normal and no
one has an explanation for it. It's anger mixed with I don't know
love or something but I know whenever that feeling comes to I
feel at peace, if the anger arises I can't breath it suffocates me.
Whatever plan there is it'll take form at it's own pace let's not
rush it, I know the attraction is too much (I chuckle as he wipes
my tears) but let's let it be."
By now I'm a crying mess saying these words feels like I'm
letting go of a part of me, it hurts
"Do you think we are making the right choice?"
"I don't know Gugu"
He sighs
"Come here"
I get up to give him a hug it lasts longer than it should then he
kisses my forehead
"Mbali is a good girl Gugu, yes people say alot of things about
her I don't know if they are right or not but I know she's a good
girl"
I say letting go
"Wish I can say the same about Sabelo but I won't"
I chuckle
"What's really going on?"
"Ask him"
He says more like dismissing me, I nod
"Till we meet again?"
I say standing by the door
"Till we meet again Sebentile wami"
I give him smile then close the door, now to fix Sabelo.
16
-GUGULEZWE
Maybe I didn't give Sebe a choice as I should have but its what's
best and not that Mbali is a second option or whatever but for
now, Sebe is out of the picture and nothing but a friend I've
kissed before. Mom reckons I made the right choice for now
but I don't know how I feel about my choice. Sebe left and now
I'm just left chatting with Mbali on Whatsapp and she promises
to come see me tomorrow since she couldn't see me today. I'm
worried about Sebe, I shouldn't be but I am. Dating a guy like
Sabelo is not right. He's only going to mess her up to the extent
that the next guy will have to pay for his mistakes.
"Why does it feel like I failed her? Why don't I feel any better
about making the choice for her?"
I ask the voice that applauded me for what I did. I'm awake, I
can't see her but I can feel her, I've completely zoned out.
"Gugu you did what you had to. You could have died today but
you didn't and do you know why? Sebe"
She says, I'm confused. Lost
"Huh? What did she do?"
I ask with my eyes popping out of their socket. What did Sebe
do?
"You broke a couple of ribs Gugu, you have a minor head injury.
Your organs are all fine as they should"
She explains but I'm still blank
"Sebe is more powerful than you or she knows but you both
need each other here. With time both of you will understand
what your purpose is. You will understand why things had to be
this way"
She says and then I feel this cold breeze that knocks me out
instantly.
I'm woken up the next day by my mother. I feel better than I
should, I am able to sit up on my own. If I didn't know better I'd
say Sebe's touch on my hand last night did the trick but I know
better. It's not possible. Maybe uncle prayed an amenless
prayer.
"You look better"
Mom says
"I feel better too"
She smiles
"And how are you with everything?"
She asks
"I think I'm ready to go back to Mthatha"
I say
"What?"
Sakhile says walking in startling us
"You leaving?"
He says, he can't even hide the hurt in his voice
"Its for the best mntase"
I warn, he shakes his head
"Makazi please tell him his making a mistake here"
Mom shrugs
"Its not up to me Sakhile, its up to him and if it's what he wants
then I can't force him to stay here"
Sakhile is a free spirit but he's scared of my parents, he behaves
when they in town so what mom says goes.
"Ok Makazi"
He says
"Can you at least stay for new year? We had plans"
He pleads looking at me. I know his plans and I don't know how
I feel about them
"We might as well all leave on the 2nd"
Mom says and Sakhile lights up
"Thanks Makazi"
My doctor walks in and asks me how I am, she tells me she'll
run an xray on me later then she leaves us. I really feel fine,
better than I should even.
"I'll be back to see you later Ok?"
Mom says kissing my forehead and then says her goodbyes
"So did you and Sebe talk? She seemed upset when I picked her
up yesterday"
Sakhile says sitting where mom was. I nod
"I think I fucked up in a way but mom reckons I made the right
choice"
I say, he looks at me rolling his eyes
"You spoke to Makazi about this?"
He asks in shock, I nod
"Sakhile a lot is going on in my life that I can't really tell you let
alone explain to you even if I wanted to because I myself am
still confused by all of it"
I say and he looks at me really confused
"The day it all makes sense to me, I'll explain but until then my
hands are tied"
I say and he nods. Imagine if I was having this conversation with
a woman, it would have been difficult. She would have wanted
me to explain the little that I know.
"I told Sebe about Phila"
I say, it shocks him to the core he can't even hide his shock
"Yah, I know"
"How did she react?"
He asks, I shrug
"I can't read Sebe bruh and it's not even about not knowing her
well, I just can't. She never gives anything away."
I say frustrated
"Last night we had a moment. We cuddled for a few seconds
and she told me that her grandma left her and that I'd do the
same. Cuz it was amazing holding her like that. Having her that
close to me without doing anything"
I explain and Sakhile is just watching me
"When she got up it was as if nothing happened bruh.
Lamntana confuses the heck out of me, she's a closed diary
with a key hidden somewhere where no one will find it"
I say. Sebe frustrates me. I really like her and by telling her
about Phila I really do hope I scared her off. Losing Phila really
hurt me. Its not something you can just move on from. Being
here helped distract me but there comes a time when you not
drinking or whatever and you just left with your thoughts. The
scene still plays in my mind like it happened just yesterday. The
wound is far too fresh. I didn't think I'd catch feelings for
anyone this quick and it makes me feel bad like I didn't love
Phila enough to wait. She was carrying my child when she died,
I'm at fault here as is her friend. We both failed her.
"I have to ask, why would you tell her about Phila?"
I shrug
"To scare her off maybe. I don't know, it felt right"
I say, he just nods
"And what if that only makes her catch real hard? I mean girls
love a guy who can open up about such personal things"
He says, I shrug letting out a sigh. I did not think about it that
way.
"Hey"
Mbali says with a light knock. She's wearing high waist jeans
that sit perfectly on her with what might be a black vest
bodysuit. She's carrying a plastic bag and her phone on the
other hand. She's BEAUTIFUL! Her hair is tied up in a messy bun
and she has no make up on, not even lipstick.
"Hey Flower Child"
I say and that makes her blush
"Hey Mbali, how are you?"
Sakhile greets
"I'm good thanks, how are you guys? Gugu this is for you"
She says placing the plastic on the pedestal next to my bed
"Better than I was yesterday"
I say
"I should leave you guys"
Sakhile says
"Because of me? Come on dude don't be like that"
Mbali says pouting
"I thought you two might want space"
Sakhile explains
"Seems like you avoiding me.. That time I don't know what I did
to you"
Mbali defends, she's so cute
"I'm sorry for making you feel like that flower."
Sakhile says humbled
"Ok guys whatever. Flower Child is here to see me and not
argue with you Sakhile"
I protest and they both laugh
"He jokes"
Mbali says, we all laugh
"Keep talking Mbali!"
I warn and she giggles
"So Flower child, clear something for me real quick"
Sakhile starts. I mentally slap myself preparing for whatever is
about to come out of his mouth
"You and Sabelo"
Mbali sighs
"Its Ok if you don't want to talk about it"
I say, she shakes her head
"Sabelo and I were a thing, well sort of and then I came to learn
that he was using me to get to Sebe. I confronted him, it got
ugly because apparently he doesn't get dumped. He started
spreading rumours about me saying I fucked his whole squad
said I have different sugar daddies and that's why he and I
never worked out. For two years I've had this reputation hence
I barely have friends around here or date anyone from around
here"
She says and let's out a sigh
"That's hectic mahn. I'm sorry you went through that"
Sakhile says
"I went from good girl to neighborhood hoe thanks to him"
She says, I touch her hand offering a warm smile which she
returns
"So did he cheat on you too?"
Sakhile asks, I shoot him a look and he shrugs
"Our relationship or whatever that was didn't even last a month
so I wouldn't know though I do suspect he was busy with
someone behind my back."
She explains
"I'm sorry you went through that"
Sakhile says
"You seem like a nice person. Mom says you're a good kid but I
figured it was an act for the church and all"
Sakhile explains
"Hahaha wow Sakhile"
She says chuckling
"You can't blame me Ok"
He defends laughing. I'm enjoying this. A girl who can chill with
your friends and not feel awkward or act awkward is perfect.
Mbali is not being to friendly with Sakhile but she's also not
being stuck up
"Can we talk about me now? The one you both came to visit"
I protest and they both laugh, just then Sakhile's phone rings
"Its Bulo. I'll see you later cuz. Bye flower"
He says and walks out answering his phone
"So Flower Child"
I say, she smiles
"What's up Gugu? Yazi I thought I'd find you unable to do
anything except text of cause"
She says, I chuckle
"I'm a vampire, we heal quicker"
She laughs and I join her.
"Mbali you're a great person, beautiful and all and I'd be lucky
to have you in my life"
She stops me right there
"You're a great guy yourself but we better off as we are right?"
She says, I just nod. I really like her and if I can't be with Sebe
now then can I at least be with her
.
.

-SEBENTILE
The drive back home was longer than anticipated, Sakhile didn't
say anything but just steal glances, he could see something was
wrong but didn't ask and I'm glad he didn't cause I wouldn't
have known what to say, I broke up with Gugu whom I wasn't
really dating but he's my potential mate?? No sense at all
"Say hi to my woman for me"
Sakhile says as I get off
"No need to"
I point my head towards the yard and Bulo walks to us
strutting, she's wearing a high waisted one button jean,
sleeveless hoodie and flops but she looks amazing that jean is
showing all the assets, booty out and popping. She gives me a
faint smile as I pass and I can't return it ahe quickly frowns but I
look away before she says anything. I take a glass and drink
water my throat is dry like I was eating sand or something,
Sabelo calls as I'm busy with candy crush it helps me relax and
it's addictive.
"Hey"
I answer
"I'm outside"
He says then drops the call, no hi babe. I go to the lounge and
put my feet up continuing with my candy crush, if he wants to
see he'll go fetch his manners wherever he left them. A few
minutes later there's a knock on the door
"Ngena!"(Come in!")
I shout, his cologne gives him up but I don't turn or even look
up
"I thought I told you I'm outside"
Silence
"Sebe "
Silence, he snatches my phone
"Wentani?"(What are you doing?)
"Ngikhuluma nawe"(I'm talking to you)
He says in a firm voice but I'm not moved
"When you remember where you left your manners then you
can talk to me "
I take my phone and continue with my game, I hear him sigh
heavily
"How are you babe?"
He finally says
"I'm alive"
"Can we talk?"
"Talk"
I put away my phone
"I'm sorry about last night, I shouldn't have lost my cool like
that and that message was really uncalled for. It's just that that
dude rubs me off the wrong way. I'm sorry "
"That's not what I want to hear Sabelo, I want you to tell me
what was Gugu talking about "
He scratches his head
"And don't lie to me"
"I'm not cheating on you Sebe I wouldn't, I've always had a
thing for you and now that I got a chance I won't ruin it by
running around with other girls. I respect you enough not to do
that "
He holds my hands
"So you saying Gugu was lying?"
"The nigga is tripping "
"Sabelo "
I warn
"I think what he said was based on what he heard from Mbali.
She and I once had a thing but it ended when you and I got
together"
He sounds genuine
"Mbali is bitter?"
It sounds like that's what he's implying
"No I'm saying Gugu probably acted on that, Mbali and I are
cool"
I nod
"Am I forgiven?"
"If you promise not to do that again "
He nods
"I swear I won't "
Bulo gets in shouting my name
"Dining room "
I shout back, that's the lounge neh we call it a dining room it's
all in one
"Let's go"
She says not even acknowledging Sabelo
"To?"
"The Radebe's, Sakhile will take us "
I look at Sabelo
"I'll call you"
He kisses my cheek
"Bulo"
She nods, I take my phone, lock the door then head out
"We still going to talk about your visit to hospital "
I roll my eyes this one is noisy. Sakhile drives us to the Radebe's
and they can't stop kissing each other it's so cute and the love
between them is clearly visible I'm happy for my babe. Mrs R
opens for us all smiles giving us hugs
"I'm happy you came "
She says leading us inside to the dining area a real one
"These are my kids that's Siphosendumiso"
She points at her replica, it's like looking at a before and after
picture. She smiles at us she has a beautiful smile
"And these are the boys, Mthokozisi and Nqobile"
They nod at us, mthokozisi looks like Mr R and Nqobile has a bit
of both but could easily be mistaken for a girl.
"This is Sebe and her friend Bulo"
We sit down Mrs R serves us and we converse the night away
before I know it it's time to go home and the siblings offer to
drive us they such great souls.
"It was nice meeting you guys"
Mtho says as we park outside Bulo's home
"It was a pleasure, I do hope we'll meet again"
I say
"Ofcourse that's unnegotiable"
Siphosendumiso says. We exchange numbers
"We'll be in contact then"
Nqobile says and we hop off.
"Yati bantfu bayakhohlwa kutsi banabatali"(People forget they
have parents)
Bulo's mom says as soon as we step inside as if she was waiting
for us
"Ma you scared us"
Bulo says
"Vele you should be scared, who was that dropping you off?"
"Mr Radebe's children"
I say
"They here?"
Well I once did mention no one knows their kids so we were
privileged enough to meet them
"Yebo ma"
"How are they?"
"We'll tell you tomorrow ma"
Bulo says pulling my arm, she knows her mom once she starts
talking she never stops especially gossip
"I heard that boy visiting ka Maseko is in hospital "
She shouts as we walk away
"We heard ma, he's alive we went to visit him today"
I quickly say
"So what happend in hospital? You weren't okay when you
came back "
Bulo asks as we get ready for bed
"Iesh we talked "
"Duh? Vele you were talking but about what?"
"About this thing of ours, naye he's been told kutsi we destined
for each other and stuff"
"Ohh so that's why he's been after you"
"Yah so either way we decided not to pursue it, if it's meant to
be it'll be"
"You liked him?"
"I can't really say but there was something I don't what"
I try blinking away the tears but they betray me
"Ahh babe come here"
She pulls me in for a hug and I let it all out
17
-GUGULEZWE
"For someone who got smashed by a car 2 days ago you look
pretty fresh"
Chad says as Sakhile and I walk into the warehouse, I chuckle
"It will take more than a car to kill me"
I say that side eyeing Sabelo who seems uncomfortable
"Glad you're Ok bruh"
Thuso says, at least the rest of the guys consider me as their
friend
"So boss, why we here?"
Stix breaks the casualties directing the question to Sakhile
"There's nothing I hate more than traitors"
Everyone looks at him confused
"Boss what happened now?"
Chad asks
"My cousin over here spent two days in a hospital bed"
Sakhile says
"And that person still roams these streets freely til date"
He says gritting his teeth
"If it were a stranger, I'd had put a bullet right here"
He says pointing his gun at Sabelo between his eyes. He
chuckles
"But he's not a stranger and so I'll have to deal with him more
personally"
He says with a voice so cold I almost shiver. This is the side of
him I can guarantee Nonjabulo would never want to meet. She
better not piss him off
"Mntase let's drop this. We hurt him, we hurt Sebe"
I warn, the last thing I want is to have Sebe on my case.
"Boss what's going on?"
Stix asks confused AF, I can't read Sabelo's expression
"If there's one thing people in this neighborhood know is that if
you mess with my loved ones then you mess with me. Everyone
here knows it never ends well that's why I'm still here"
He explains, I'm bored out of my mind
"Why Sabelo?"
He asks looking at Sabelo dead in the eye
"Why what now?"
He asks acting confused. Sakhile chuckles and pulls out a knife
so quick pressing it where Sabelo's heart is located
"Haibo Sakza"
Thuso warns in shock as the rest
"If I press a little harder than this, you'll die. Talk!"
"Sakhile we best friends. Don't act foolish"
Sakhile chuckles
"Best friends?"
He mocks
"I'll ask you this question again. Why?"
"Because I won't stay away from Sebe, he was meant to teach
me a lesson"
I explain hoping he stops
"What kind of person would I be if I didn't punish one of our
own for turning against one of our members?"
He says shoving the knife through Sabelo so quick I'm
convinced he's dead and judging by Sabelo's cry in pain he's still
alive. I look at him and Sakhile had launched the knife right
below his heart not hitting anything fatal
"Make it look like he got mugged"
He says and stops in his tracks
"Oh and Sabelo, we good. Just don't mess with Gugu, next time
I won't be so kind"
He says and walks out. I'm shook that just happened, I think of
how Sebe would react to this. She likes the guy and cares about
him for some reason so this will hurt her feelings.
"Remind me not to piss you off"
I warn settling in the passenger seat
"Listen, Simz and Siya sent a text saying to meet them at Tops"
Simz being Simphiwe and Siya being Siyakha, his sisters. Its
funny that they would buy alcohol knowing damn well that they
won't drink in the Maseko yard
"Your sisters tryna give your dad a heart attack?"
I ask with a chuckle and he laughs
"Nigga goin call out the whole neighborhood on us to cast out
these demons"
Sakhile adds laughing
"I can already imagine"
I say laughing at the thought
"Mom invited Bulo's family over for the braai which means
Sebe will be there together with Gogo Mabuza"
He says, it's more of a warning shot
"So?"
He chuckle
"So behave. You broke up with her, she's Sabelo's girl. You and
her just know each other"
He says, I shrug with one shoulder. How can I stay away from
Sebentile?
Its the 31st today and the pastors together with my parents are
hosting a braai and Sakhile's sisters and husbands are here. We
park at the parking lot and walk towards Tops, we spot his
sisters by the wine section. e greet each other exchanging hugs
"You tryna send dad to an early grave"
Sakhile says gesturing at the trolley filled with different kinds of
alcohol
"We going to friends party, BOB type of thing. We won't stay
long at the braai"
Simz says
"Aunty won't be so happy"
I say
"She'll live wethu"
Siya says loosely
"So what do you kids drink, it'll stay in your car"
Simz asks Sakhile
"Henny"
Sakhile says, Simz husband shoots him a look
"What do you know about Henny?"
He asks
"More than I should. If you can't afford it its cool"
I chuckle at his provocative tone towards his sister's husband
"Take it, wena Gugu?"
Siya asks
"Heineken will do"
I say
"And a bottle of forth street"
Sakhile adds and his sisters shoot him a look
"You drink wine?"
Simz asks
"No, Bulo does"
He explains. The girls murmur something and burst out into
laughter
"Even after staying in hoarding school for 3 years away from
her, you still have a crush?"
Siya says with amusement in her tone
"We dating now"
He corrects cockily making us laugh. They buy us ice and couple
more booze for the cooler box in Sakhile's boot. We part ways
and drive home.
Time flies when you with family. There's a party later being
hosted by Chad I think, but I spoke to Mbali about attending
and she said she was down for the idea but she was gone. She
was visiting some family in Mthatha, who knew she had family
there? She mentioned she'd be leaving around the 5th or so. I
was a little disappointed but somewhat happy
"You have that troublesome smile of hours"
Sakhile points out walking into my room, I shrug
"Gugu don't try anything with Sebe tonight. Stop trying to
confuse the poor child!"
He says, I know he's worried cause then Bulo would be on his
case if I hurt Sebe or lead her on but I have to have her. Just
one last kiss. I plan to stir up some trouble before I leave for
Mthatha
"I know that look"
He says, I chuckle
"A little trouble ain't never hurt nobody cuz"
"What's your plan?"
He asks with somewhat joy in his eyes. Sakhile is addicted to
stirring up shiit
"Thinking of leaving Sebe with a parting gift tonight"
I say
"Something that will constantly linger on her mind when I'm
gone"
I say with a smug
"Just don't do anything stupid Gugulezwe"
He warns and gets up
"Come help me with the fire"
He says. I get up and we walk out over light conversations. Just
as we step out to the kitchen the girls are sitting with Sakhile's
sisters while marinating the meat and making salads. Our eyes
meet but she quickly looks down. She looks sad, it breaks my
heart. Had she heard about Sabelo already? Nah mahn she
couldn't have. Sakhile would have been the one to tell her but
knowing him he hasn't said anything yet to them.
"Ladies"
I greet walking towards Sebe, she's the one chopping things for
the green salad. Sakhile and Bulo get lost into each other but
my attention is on Sebentile. I take a piece of lettuce startling
her
"Those hands"
She says smacking my hand, I chuckle. At least I got her
attention
"Nice"
I say as I chew on it looking her in the eyes that she can't seem
to remove from me. She moves uncomfortably making me
laugh as I walk out. I have Sebe right where I want her, I know
for a fact that she wants me.
The night progresses and soon its time to eat, I make sure I sit
next to her by the table. Everyone is engaged in their own
conversation but my hand rests on Sebe's thigh over her cute
dress. She tries to remove it but I don't budge and definitely
don't pay no mind to her. I want to turn her on so badly that
she can't even bare it, no I'm not planning on breaking her
virginity just yet.
I brush her thigh lightly and make my way to her inner thighs,
she moves a little uncomfortably. I'm enjoying being this close
to her, she tries to engage in the conversation going around the
table but I'm a distraction and I know it. My finger moves up
and down her underwear
"How's the meat Sebe?"
I ask startling her, she swallows hard before answering
"Good"
She says flushed
"You Ok?"
I ask soon as she gulps down her water, she nods. My hand is
still poking at her nookie, I have her at my mercy or at least
that's how it feels but an innocent girl like Sebe requires
patience and a little teasing. I push her underwear to the side
and dip a finger between her folds, she tries to close her legs
but with failure
.
.
SEBENTILE
As we get closer to the new year I feel a little bit anxious about
leaving my home town, settling into a new place, new people
the works but change is inevitable. Sabelo and I have been okay
the past few days and it has never gotten beyond a hug or a kiss
on the cheek, he has tried initiating a proper kiss but I always
avoid it ask me why I don't know and he's getting irritable but I
can't bring myself to kiss him, he has great lips though they look
appetizing. It's the 31st and I know as always we'll be in church
till about 3am on the 1st, we never get to hear which song took
us over to the new year, we hear only from people.
"I can't wait to party on the 31st"
Bulo says, we laying on her bed looking up
"That will be when?"
She likes dreaming
"The year we are about to start "
I laugh and she eyes me
"Sorry friend but I think you too caught up going to varsity and
it's freedom you forget there's no school or university open in
December, whether you like it or not sitabe sisesontfweni"
She sighs heavily
"You know how to bust someone's bubble xem"
"Someone had to be glad it's me not your mom"
"I sometimes think we were switched in hospital, you are such
my mom's daughter"
She says dramatically
"One of us has to be sane"
She hits me with a pillow and I take the other one hitting her
with
"I hope you'll buy my pillows"
Bulo's mom breaks us up
"Haa ma"
"Yini? You are busy acting like abatfwana basesilungwini
nishayana ngemicamelo"( Children from the surburbs, hitting
each other with pillows "
"It's called pillow fighting ma"
Bulo says in a low voice
"It doesn't matter hhay lakami"
She's not saying anything I'm pressure she's expecting an
answer, black parents
"Yebo ma"
"Good, now get ready the Maseko's invited us over for a braai"
"A braai?"
We both exclaim, maybe she's mistaken
"Yah a braai now close those mouths before a fly gets in"
We laugh
"Don't we go to church on the 31st?"
Bulo asks and I nudge why enta so?
"Not this year, or nifuna kuya?"
"Cha"(No)
We quickly say
"Anivani nelisontfo neh"(You don't like church)
She's holding in a laugh
"Dress appropriately"
"Yes ma"
She leaves us shaking her head and as soon as she closes the
door Bulo screams jumping on the bed
"Ohh my word I'm so going to have my first midnight kiss, ohh
thank you Jesus!"
She exclaims
"Don't involve Bra J in your nonsense "
I say
"I know He has my back"
She brushes both her shoulders, my phone rings and I attend to
it
it's Sabelo what could be up now he better not want to meet
up. That's why I didn't want a relationship well part of the
reason the thing of "I'm outside" I'm way to lazy I swear.
"Sabza"
I answer
"Sebe ngu Stix"
"Ohh hi kwente njani?(What's wrong?)
"Sabelo use hhosi"(Sabelo is in hospital)
God what's happening in my life? All the men in my life end up
in hospital what am I being punished for mara?
"What happened?"
"Angati sarn ngitabanga kutsi bebatama kumbhatfula"(I don't
know I think they were trying to rob him)
I sigh these events cannot not be unrelated
"Cela ungilandze"(Please fecth me"
"Ngiyeta"(I'm coming)
I hang up and Bulo already has her eye balls out waiting for
gossip, this child bese atsi I'm her mother's child.
"Sabelo is in hospital"
She rolls her eyes
"What happened to him?"
"Stix says they think it's a robbery"
"Your life is more complicated than mine "
She says
"Tell me about it"
I change the traksuits I was wearing and put on a white thin
strapped dress, it has red medium flowers and it's just above
my knees showing a liitle bit of cleavage, I put on gladiator
sandals, Bulo did my hair into box braids so I just let them
loose.
"I'm going to the hospital wait for me"
"What should I tell mom?"
"Make up a story"
I find Stix already packed outside, dejavú neh?
"Ulimele kuphi?"(Where is he hurt?)
I ask Stix as we drive
"Just below his heart "
I gasps
"No, nothing fatal was damaged?"
"Nop whoever did it knows their stuff"
I nod thinking what would have happend if fatal organs were
touched. When we get to the hospital we find him asleep, I wait
for a few minutes and it's getting late I need to go back.
"Tell him I was here, I'll see him later I'm rushing somewhere"
I say looking at Chad and he nods, I kiss his cheek and Stix
drives me home, I arrive as they about to leave Bulo's mom
looks at me but says nothing. When we get to the Maseko's,
Mrs M introduces us to her daughters Simphiwe and Siyakha,
they leave us with them in the kitchen and disappear wherever.
We marinate the meat, make salads, the gravy everything over
talk nje and it was really fun, Simz was telling Bulo how Sakhile
has always wanted oh you should've seen how she blushed.
Before I knew it it was dinner and I don't even know when that
ended because of Gugu's hand between my legs, the guy even
shifted my panty aside and the things he did,Lord have mercy. I
have never let a guy go that far with me and somehow I
couldn't stop Gugu the feeling was so foreign but yet so fuckin
great, I know now what they mean when they say someone is
wet.
"Sebe!"
I feel someone touch my shoulder
"Everyone has left the table it's even cleared why are you still
seating here?"
It's Bulo
"Uhm...I... where's everyone?"
"Are you okay?"
"Yah I am"
"I saw you were uncomfortable during dinner, is it because of
Gugu? Phela you were sitting next to him"
I cleared my throat
"Uhm yah... the feeling is still there so"
"Let's go outside that's where we all are"
"And the rents?"
"Lounge "
She holds my hand and we walk outside, everyone has a glass in
their hands and I'm pretty sure it's alcohol and I wonder if the
pastor agreed to this or not, there's house music playing but it's
not that loud just enough to get everyone dancing. There's a
fire somewhere at the corner and evryone is around it I go
stand there since Bulo decided to go MIA on me I swear I won't
go out with her anymore if Sakhile will be around it's better
when Sabelo is here but ke. Speaking of which I see him coming
my way
"Aren't you suppose to be in hospital "
I ask meeting him halfway
"And miss celebrating the new year with you?"
"That's sweet"
I give him a hug
"Doesn't it hurt?"
"A little"
I look for a chair and I find one lead him to it so he can rest,
Chad spots us ans comes with a drink
"He's not suppose to be drinking "
They laugh
"It's juice, we wouldn't want the pastor praying for all of us
saying we possessed"
I can imagine Mr M doing that moreover Mrs M
"Good to see you back bro"
They fist bump
"Awe"
"We'll talk later at my place, after 12 we moving there "
Sabelo nods and I sit on top of him asking him what happened
and he tells me some guys were trying to rob him and he
fought so they stabbed him and took some cash nothing
much. I'm glad he's okay.
"I need the bathroom I'll be back"
I say
"It's almost midnight babe,can't you hold it in?"
"No, I won't take long I'll be back before the count down "
He kisses my hand and I head to the bathroom, do my business
and when I get out someone pulls me into one of the rooms I
almost scream but he quickly closes my mouth, only to realise
it's Gugu
"What the hell Gugulezwe? You almost killed me"
He smirks
"I'm sorry, I just had to get you here, we have to finish off what
we started"
He says walking closer and I keep moving back until my back
hits the door I try to open it but it's locked, I feel his breath on
my neck and the feeling between my legs gets more intense
and I feel like my panty liner ain't doing anything right now.He
looks deep into my eyes and kisses me, I know its wrong but
Gugu is like a drug. You know its bad for you but you want that
one pull that will get you high for a while and wake up with
regrets when the high has worn off. That's the effect he has on
me, on my body. I hate how my body betrays me where he is
concerned.He dips his tongue into my mouth and I allow him,
at this moment all I'm thinking off is Gugu and how wet I am,
traitor! He moves from my lips to my neck and kisses me and
bits me in between, it feels so good I can't help but let out a
moan. Its not like they'll hear us with everyone watching the
fire crackers go off.He moves from my neck tracing kisses to my
breasts, I'm so hot for him I don't know what to do with myself.
Gogo would be so disappointed in me,Bulo yena I don't even
want to know.He pays equal attention to my boobs trapped in a
bra, I want him to let my twins free but the last thing we need
is wasting more time. He pulls my dress up stealing glances at
me every now and then. He breaths out at the sight of my
underwear
"If you don't like what I'm doing, stop me Ok?"
He warns and my breath clogs my throat and nothing comes
out. I just nod. He takes my underwear off
"I'm going to eat you up, try to control your moans Ok?"
He says with so much confidence and fire in his eyes. He's so
sexy!
He parts my legs wide enough and kisses and bites my inner
thighs and the sticks his tongue between my folds making me
gasp, I want to close my legs but he's holding them apart.
"Gosh you so wet Sebe"
He roars between my legs. I want to push him deep in to
continue what he's started. He rubs my clit with his thumb in
circular motions while his tongue screws my opening and folds,I
arche my back, I feel it building up. I feel an orgasm, my body
jerks up and then tenses as I release. He doesn't stop until
another orgasm shoots right through my body. What is this guy
doing to me? This should be legal.
"Do you like that?"
He asks as a third orgasm builds, I nod
"Talk to me Sebentile"
He demands, his voice is rough and raw
"Yah"
I say with my body arching off the bed grabbing his bed covers
tightly. I'm moaning but trying not to make noise. He goes at it
until I release, my legs are shaking as a wave of orgasm hit. He
licks me dry the comes up to my face. I can smell myself
"You taste good"
I flush with embarrassment, he bends to kiss me. I can feel his
hard on poking at my naked cookie, it feels good.
"See what you do to me?"
He says breaking the kiss
"We need to go back"
I say trying to avoid whatever this might become
"Tell me you loved my tongue on you Sebe"
He says with this need in his voice, I swallow hard not wanting
to give him the satisfaction but I can't help it, it felt too good!
"We not leaving until you speak up"
I swallow hard at his command,
"I enjoyed it"
He smirks
"What did you enjoy Sebentile?"
I flush with embarrassment
"Your tongue on me"
I say with gasps, he pushes himself up and off the bed
"Fix yourself, you know Bulo will ask questions"
He says picking up my underwear, I stand in front of the mirror
fixing myself with guilt. I wait for him to hand me my
underwear
"I'll keep this as a reminder"
He says and smile, he kisses my forehead
"I'll see you outside"
I nod I don't trust my voice right now, Gugu isn't good for me
even the Lord knows he isn't. It all comes back it's way after
midnight and Sabelo must be looking for me, gosh what's
wrong with me? I lose all my senses where Gugu is concerned.I
grab my phone and run out to look for him Sabelo he must be
so angry.
18
GUGULEZWE
I've never went down on a girl before, not even Phila. Yes I
loved her or I thought I did until Sebe. She's the first to ever feel
my tongue on her pussy and definitely the last. I don't regret
what I did, I know I shouldn't have marked her body because of
Sabelo but having her at my mercy like that I couldn't help but
claim her body as mine. I don't know how things will go from
here and I hope for her sake she doesn't get into trouble. I run
out after her catching her arm before she's about to reach the
passage that leads to the kitchen
"If it were up to me I'd keep you with me all night and never ask
this of you but I need you to drink wine"
She shoots me a look
"Not a whole glass or whatever but just enough to cover up the
taste of your lips and breath"
She still mute from what happened and I hate that I can't tell
what she's thinking. I clench my fists thinking about what I'm
about to ask of her, my muscles tense but its the only way
"Sabelo has probably been looking for you and is pissed. I need
you to shut him up with a kiss, its for your own good to avoid
the interrogation. If he asks about it you'll blame the wine"
I say handing her a glass of red wine. She's so cute and so
innocent that I hate myself for asking this of her but she nods.
"I'll meet you outside, if he asks what took so long tell him you
got a call from a relative or something"
I warn and then walk out bumping into Bulo
"Where's Sebe?"
I look at her and chuckle
"In the kitchen"
I say calmly gulping down my alcohol walking past her. Sabelo
spots me and shoots me an angry look. I join them by the braai
"You were gone for long"
Sakhile points out
"Had a long talk with dad about me and school this year"
I say and just then dad walks out of the house to join the other
old people watching fire crackers go off lighting up the sky. I
seem to convince them, I follow Sabelo's gaze which is on Sebe
walking towards up. Sabelo is about to speak when Sebe
smashes her lips on him. I hate this sight, hate that I even
suggested it but decide to leave in order to sell the story and
make it more convincing. I take out my phone and call Mbali, I
need the distraction anyway.
"Flower Child"
I say and she giggles softly
"Gugulezwe"
She says
"Happy New Year"
I say
"Thank you, right back at you. Aren't you in church?"
She asks. I'm confused by her question
"No, why would I be?"
"Duh! Your uncle holds a service every 31st, whole night prayer
type of thing with praise and worship"
I chuckle. They actually do that?
"I take it you didn't know"
"Guilty"
I say and she laughs it off
"Wow, never thought I'd live to see the day the Maseko's
weren't in church on the 31st"
I laugh it off with her. Aunt walks out to the kitchen
"Gugu"
She says not realizing I'm on the phone
"I'll call you back"
I say dropping the call
"Dabs"
I answer
"We on our way to church. We will be back around 3 or 4am.
Clean up before you guys leave or sleep. If you do leave please
make sure you lock up. Siya and Sim won't be back until late
today. Don't get into trouble and make sure you don't disturb
the neighbors neh"
She says and all I can do is nod with every order she gives. She
walks out to meet everyone else outside and they drive out
leaving us.
I call Mbali and we pick up where we left, my cousin walks in
with Bulo and they can't keep their hands off of each other
rushing towards the rooms, I chuckle. How I wish that were
Sebe and me... Soon though, all in good time. We chat a little
more before ending the call. I walk out and my eyes meet
Sebe's. She seemed a little relaxed until I showed up, its cute
how I make her feel and after tonight I have no doubt that she
will keep herself for me. I can't imagine she'd be that relaxed
under Sabelo of all people. I watch him trying to make me
jealous by brushing his hand on Sebe's thighs making her tense
up. If he'd see the hickies I left on Sebe's thighs or notice that
she's not wearing underwear he would die. I smirk at my
thoughts.
"So Sebe where are you going to study this year?"
She's trying so very hard to avoid looking at me
"I don't know yet, I'll see with time"
I nod
"And wena Sabelo?"
I know I annoy him and its fun to.
"Wherever I get accepted"
"Thought you'd follow your girl"
I say
"Or she'll just follow me"
I chuckle. Sebe is not really the submissive, follow a boyfriend
type of girl
"Sebe?"
Chad asks, he's probably thinking the same thing
"I wouldn't risk going to my dream university because of a guy"
She says but realises the brutality of her words soon as she's
spoken them. Her eyes go soft with worry turning to Sabelo
who seems a little hurt
"I figured you not the submissive type, I mean look at you"
I compliment, I know its not the right time but seeing Sabelo on
edge brings me joy in an inexplicable way. I am yet to
understand why.
"Whatever"
Sabelo says completely dismissing Sebe
"We should go, we still have a party of our own"
Chad reminds, its just after half 12 am.
"You guys go. I need to clean up this mess"
I say getting up
"I'll help you"
Sebe offers, its not even about her staying with me but about
how much she respects this house for her to leave it dirty
"We'll meet you there"
Chad says walking to his car with Stix, Thuso is already there
holding things down
"I'll stay to help out too"
Sabelo offers, I look at him with a raised eyebrow
"Why?"
I ask letting the words slip right out of my mouth
"Because... I'm not leaving you alone with my girlfriend"
He says, Sebe went inside a while ago
"What could I possibly do to her? I care about her"
I say, its not a lie cause I do. His phone rings as he's about to
answer me
"Yah"
He listens and then eyes me
"I'm on my way!"
He says firmly and drops the call
"How long are you going to keep this charade up? We both
know you not in love with Sebe but you just with her because it
would bruise your ego if she ended up with someone else but
you!"
I point out angrily
"You don't know what you talking about!"
I chuckle at his defense
"Prove me wrong. End it with her, deep down you know she
deserves better"
He chuckles
"Why? So you can have a go at her? Try your luck maybe? It
ain't never goin happen Gugu"
He says confidently
"If that makes you sleep at night then so be it"
I say with a smug that annoys him. He relaxes his gaze soon as
Sebe approaches
"You still here?"
She says with clear shock in her voice
"I was planning on staying to help clean but something came
up"
He says pulling Sebe close to him by the waist
"I hate to leave you with him"
He adds and I let out a chuckle
"But I have to go. I won't even attend the party the guys are
hosting, how about I drop you off at your place?"
He says eyeing me
"Its fine babe go. Bulo's mom told Bulo that we must stay here
until they come back we'll leave with them in the morning"
She says and that shocks Sabelo. Maybe she and Bulo met while
she was inside the house
"Oh"
That's all Sabelo can say
"Let me accompany you out"
Says Sebe and they walk away together. I start packing up the
bottles of booze into a black plastic. Sebe comes back as I'm
picking up the last bottle
"You need to stop provoking Sabelo"
She warns
"Or what?"
I ask with a smirk plastered on my face
"Gugu what happened today"
I cut her off
"Is just the beginning"
I say and walk out to the black garbage bin outside the yard to
throw the bottles of alcohol
"Gugu I'm serious. This can't happen again, and the hickies. You
can't do that to me. Its like you just trying to ruin my
relationship with Sabelo"
She says in a frustrated tone, she's so cute
"Sabelo needs to know that what he can do, you can do 10
times better"
I say and she frowns looking confused
"What are you talking about?"
I shake my head
"Nothing, just be careful Sebe. You shouldn't even be dating
someone you're terrified off!"
I say walking back into the yard, she picks up our glasses
"I'm not scared of Sabelo"
She defends
"Are you not? You think I didn't notice you running to him after
our mini session?"
She shakes her head
"That was guilt"
I shake my head
"Guilt would have made you stop me from the dining table,
guilt would have made you push me off from the minute I
started kissing you on my bed"
I say proudly, she huffs in frustration
"I'm leaving tomorrow. I don't know when I'll ever see you
again but when I do, I hope you and Sabelo will be done playing
around"
I say shocking her and leaving her like that
.
.
-SEBENTILE
I'm still flushed by what happened and the only thing on my
mind right now is to get to Sabelo but my trip is short lived
when Gugu grabs my arms sending spikes all through my body.
What's this guy doing to me? I'm about to fight him when he
starts telling me what I should do in order not to get into
trouble.
I never thought Gugu of all people would make me drink wine
considering his last reaction to me being poured it but for some
reason, maybe because its him or because I just want to get to
Sabelo quick, I drink it without hesitation. Its bittersweet but
whatever, it will do the trick. My senses spring out in confusion
of this unfamiliar taste on my mouth
lingering on my lips erasing the taste of Gugu and me. I gather
courage to walk out, my hearts beating out of my chest but I
walk out straight to Sabelo ignoring my best friend who came
looking for me, he's about to speak when I pull his face close to
mine and kiss him senseless. In my mind all I'm thinking is 'don't
think Sebe just do' but part of me feels terrible to share what
I've only shared with Gugu, he shouldn't have let me kiss him.
He should stop me but he doesn't. Sabelo is as shook by the kiss
but he relaxes and our lips dance to a beat of their own until I
pull back thinking about my surroundings. This is disrespect to
my pastors! I break the kiss and look down but Sabelo makes
me look up at him. Bulo will bite my head of about this.
I look up at him and Gugu was right, he's distracted and that's
when I realize Gugu left. I feel bad for even doing this
"And that?"
Sabelo asks with a smile, I giggle nervously
"New Year, New me I guess"
I say dismissing him, he pulls me in to lean on his chest. The
looks Bulo is giving me, i mouth 'talk later' and she nods
returning her attention to Sakhile.
He seems to adore her a lot, it's cute actually.
"I like this new you"
He says making me look up at him
"Yeah"
I say feeling like I've betrayed Gugu. I sigh. I pull away from him
"We still at my pastor's house"
I say reminding him and just than Mrs Maseko tells us that they
are going to church and will see us when they get back, she
wishes us a happy new year and then goes to the house.
"Guys we gonna head in now"
Sakhile reports
"Bulo's tired"
He says, any dumb person knows what that means. I look at
Bulo pleading with my eyes that she doesn't leave but she
ignores me
"Sabelo take care of my friend!"
She warns with that scary tone of hers. I love her though she
gets on my last nerve at times.
"Chad, sorry I won't make it to your party. You can take some
carrypacks in the boot, leave one for Gugu and I"
He says and then they leave us playing all cute, if only that were
Gugu and me.
"So what took so long Sebe"
Stix finally asks
"Got a call from an old cousin talking about school and stuff"
I say hoping they buy what I'm selling. My eyes spot Gugu and I
suddenly feel all nervous and weird, with how well he reads me
I wouldn't be surprised he knows how I'm feeling right now
with him here.
The night progresses, the guys leave for their party. Bulo told
me that her parents said we should wait for them to return
though part of me suspects she made it up to spend more time
with Sakhile. Who am I to argue when I wasn't there?
I don't know how I feel about Gugu leaving, he really took me
by surprise. I follow him inside
"You leaving?"
He nods, he's so chilled and so calm that time I'm boiling
"Oh"
That's all that manages to escape my lips. Why does he have
such an effect on me? Why am I bothered that he's leaving?
"You can sleep in my room while you wait, I'll sleep on the
couch"
He says walking to the lounge leaving me in the kitchen. What
is it with him and barking orders at me like I'm his wife?
I boil water for the dishes, they not that many anyway. When
the water is done Gugu comes back
"You don't have to"
He says
"I won't sleep knowing I left dirty dishes in the kitchen"
I defend. I truly respect my pastors and their house. I pour the
water and pour cold water but silly me puts her hand in to test
the water but instead I burn myself letting out a cry
"Ouch"
I cry out and soon Gugu is by my side
"Are you Ok?"
He asks pulling my hand
"I'm fine, just burnt a little"
He closes the tap and pulls me to the bar chairs
"Come sit, let me see"
He says pulling my hand towards his face
"Its not that bad"
He says and kisses my fingers which are pink and throbbing
with pain
"I'll put something for safety purposes"
He says and leaves me sitting like an idiot. He just keeps
showing me sides of him to make me fall for him and yet we
agreed we done. I sigh and get up, I can't sit and do nothing.
I walk to the sink and put the glasses in, the water is now Luke
warm so its safe
"Sebe mahn!"
I'm startled by Gugu's concerned voice
"I told you to sit"
I shrug
"I can't just sit and do nothing Gugu"
He sighs and takes my hand, we standing by the counter
"This will help with the burn"
He says applying some ointment on my fingers and it hurts, I
keep flinching
"I'm sorry but I have to"
He says carefully applying the thing on me. When he's done he
hands me a packet of frozen peas
"Press this on your fingers Ok? These are pain meds, it says to
take two"
He says handing me two small pills
"I'll pour you water now"
He says turning his back to me. Gugu is too sweet, I like this him
I'm seeing. He hands me the water, I gulp the water washing
the bitter pills down.
"Thank you"
I say, he smiles and nods then walks to the sink
"About Phila"
I start, I watch him tense up and then calm down in a split
second not turning to me at all
"What about Phila?"
He asks. His voice is normal so I can't tell what he's thinking
"Why did you tell me about her?"
He shrugs at my question. When he was in hospital he merely
mentioned he once dated this girl who died while getting an
illegal abortion.
"I don't know Sebe"
He says but I don't believe him. I look down at my thighs which
are marked with hickies, I run my free hand over them and look
back up at him
"I think you told me about her to scare me off. To seal our
break up"
He chuckles
"Probably"
He says. I'm frustrated at his half responses
"Where do you want to study this year?"
He asks
"UP, I've always wanted to go there"
I say proudly
"UP is for smarties"
He points out
"For me to have been accepted must mean I fit their ideal
student"
I say realizing I just told him about my acceptance. Something I
haven't told anyone cause I didn't want to jinx it. Great!
"Beauty and Brains... Lucky me"
He says, I'm startled by his response. What's going on here?
"Huh?"
I say pretending to not have heard him
"Nothing"
He says. I've never had a guy confuse me the way Gugu
confuses me. I sit and watch him only to zone out.
"I was with Sakhile and his family babe"
Sabelo explains
"Let me guess, Sebe was there too"
She says folding her arms in front of her chest angrily. He pulls
her to him by the waist
"Let's not talk about her"
He says trying to kiss her but she's not having any of it
"Babe you know I like you"
He explains trying to kiss her
"But you love Sebe"
She fires back. He sighs
"I'm here with you and not her. That should count for
something"
He says sounding annoyed. I don't know how to feel about
what I'm witnessing. What am I even seeing?
"Sebe?"
Someone says touching me. I jump
"Sebe you Ok?"
Gugu asks stunned by my behavior
"I'm fine. You were saying?"
I ask unsure of what to tell him or if I should tell him at all.
"I'm done with the dishes, you seem sleepy. Actually you were
sleeping"
He says, when? How?
"Yeah I should sleep, I'm tired"
I say
He looks at me suspiciously but doesn't say anything either
than
"Follow me"
He says walking out, I follow behind him and he leads me to the
room we were in earlier.
"Here"
He says handing me a T-shirt
"That should fit"
I nod
"Thanks"
He smiles and takes a pillow and blanket, he's about to walk out
when I stupidly stop him
"You don't have to sleep on the couch"
I say, he's as shocked as I am
"You can sleep on your bed Gugu"
I say. I don't know what game I'm playing at but I would like to
be held for a while
"I don't think that's right Sebe. If we got caught in bed together
things would end badly"
He explains and I guess he has a point. I nod and walk out to
change. I come back into the room and he's sitting pressing his
phone. I don't speak and neither does he. I get inside the
blanket and I hear the bed move and soon feel his arm over me
and pressed up against me
"I'll hold you until you sleep and then I'll leave"
He says, I don't respond and just let him be until I drift off go
sleep
19
-SEBENTILE
This festive season was a long one full of surprises too, if you
had told me a month ago that I'd be attending house parties,
parties nje all in all I would have told you you are out of your
mind never mind me having a guy in my life that was the
furthest from everything. Though I didn't plan anything that
happened I'm glad it did cause it made aware of alot of things I
thought didn't exist or that weren't meant for me, yes I do
believe in God and I love Him but I never thought I'd get visions
or whatever I knew Gogo got them I just didn't think I would
too. I hate being made a fool honestly I do cause I don't make
fools out of others the Bible even says "Do unto others as you
would like to be done unto you" and that's what I live upon
unlike some people I know. Yati uSabelo keeps making me look
like a fool infront of everyone, after seeing what I saw on New
Year's I realize that I've been naive I mean I knew from school
that Sabelo is the town's player but I just went right into it so I
can get played nami. It's been hard pretending that everything
is all rosy and what's not.
It's the 4th today and we getting our results to say I'm nervous
would be an understatement my heart is literally beating out of
my chest, I can't stomach anything and didn't even sleep a
wink. Bulo on the other hand has been stuffing her face, that's
what stress does to her she eats alot mina I just vomit
everything I eat. We didn't go to the garage to buy the
newspaper but Bulo's dad said he'll come back with it at around
6 and it's still 5:30am, people have been posting their mama I
made it statutes and it's only making me anxious. Gugu left on
the second and he left with a part of me, cliche I know but he
did. I had grown to him so much that I cried when he left, was
moody the whole day I was a ticking time bomb I tell you, he's
the first guy I've ever allowed in,showed my vulnerability to
and held me like his life depended on it, I do remember us
saying we better off without each other which is probably true
but I'm pretty us being together as fate wanted wouldn't have
been bad.
"Dad is taking too long now I can't "
Bulo whines with sour worms filling her mouth and just then
her dad gets in, we both jump to him grabbing the paper, we
spread it out on the bed and start searching
"Easy girls the paper is not going anywhere "
Bulo's mom says and Bulo gives her the hand, I hear them
giggle making me lose focus here I think I missed my number, I
stop and look at Bulo my eyes out
"It can't be friend let's look again"
She's already looking again and I can hear my heart breaking
into peaces and the sound I hear makes my eyes clouded with
tears I blink them away, I haven't failed I know I haven't. I get
on my knees and browse through again, I'm Dlamini and my
number is 34 and it's not there
"30....31.....32....35....36..."
I say out loud no there is a mistake, the eyes Bulo is giving me I
don't like them.
"Let's look for you"
I say turning the page she's Ngwenya there's few of them and
she's 180, I find her and scream first she joins me and I pull her
in for hug one which her parents later join, we look at it again
after pulling apart and she has 2 distinctions, in Mathematics
and Life Sciences.
"Atleast one of us made it"
I say after the excitement has died down
"Kuneliphutsa friend akukwati"(there's a mistake friend it can't
be)
I shake my head trying to hold back the tears but they keep on
coming, I get into bed covering my head and I cry it out
"I got accepted to three universities how is it possible that I
didn't make it? I spent many sleepless nights they were
suppose to pay off..."
I say through the sobs and Bulo is busy brushing my back and it
doesn't make anything better, this was suppose to be my ticket
out, Gogo is this what you were referring to ngenkhatsi utsi
kutolunga? Ngenkhatsi utsi ngibeketele? Cause if this is it
kubuhlungu Twana I can't. I feel the bed moving
"Phephisa sesi, musa ukukhala kangaka nana"(Sorry dear, don't
cry like this nana)
Bulo's mom's breaking voice says, she's trying to calm me down
but nothing at this time can make me feel better. They say
nothing but keep on brushing my back until I fell asleep.
"Sebe...Sebe vuka"
I heard someome whispering, opening my eyes it was Bulo she
was getting dressed
"Get up and bath we going to school"
I look at her she must be joking
"I'm not going there"
I say sitting up straight looking for my phone
"It's a pity cause you have no choice "
She says picking up the basin that has her water, my phone has
alot of messages, missed calls everything this is the busiest my
phone has ever been. I go through the messages one by one
"Here's your water"
I nod and then there's a message that catches my attention,It
says I passed with 6 distinctions I give the phone to Bulo
"Don't you know how to read manje?"
I roll my eyes, she huffs and sits on the bed
"Ohh my God Sebe"
She's crying, she looks at me
"You...you passed"
She says through the tears
"How? I mean my number wasn't on the paper"
"The how question needs not to be answered you area genius
Sebe and papers do make mistakes"
I hear her but I'm still confused
"Bath so we can go to school and be sure"
No need to tell me twice, I bath, lotion then get dressed in a
black denim skirt that has red and white lines on the side, a
peach vest tucked in, white kicks and a denim jacket. I go throw
out the water rinse the basin then off we went, Sabelo hasn't
called kanti what type of a boyfriend is he? When we get to
school we stand the line to fetch statements and everyone is all
jolly and stuff but I just want to get my paper and see which
emotion to carry through the day. Mr Radebe is the one giving
us the statements great as if this day couldn't get any worse
"Sebentile Dlamini"
He says then goes through the stack and picks out mine, he
looks at it first and smiles to himself
"Usebentile sesi"(Well done dear)
I think it has been confirmed, Bulo takes it first and screams
"Ngwenya "
The Principal warns
"Sorry ma'am
friend"
She's smiling, she's genuinely happy and that's the kind of
people I want to keep in my life. She gets hers and we miggle
something I never did and we bump into Mbali who has passed
also, we hug each other with congratulations in the air and she
says she's going to UP I tell her we'll meet there since I got
accepted also and Bulo too. I spot Sabelo coming to us smiling
"Hey babe "
He tries to kiss me but I give him the cheek, he hugs Bulo
"What's wrong babe?"
He asks after breaking the hug
"Nothing is wrong, or should there?"
I'm tired of pretending
"I'll go call Sakhile, call me when you done "
Bulo says walking away, Sabelo takes my hand leading me to
the soccer ground,we sit under one of the trees there
"You've been acting strange since the braai at the pastor's
house"
He breaks the silence
"Did something happen after I left?"
"Why do you ask that?"
"We were perfectly fine when I left and the following day you
are cold, you are here but not here. Talk to me"
I hate that he's asking as if he's done nothing wrong
"Uyangijolela Sabelo?"(Are you cheating on me Sabelo?)
He chokes on his saliva and his eyes pop out
"Why are you asking that?"
He finally says
"Phendula umbuto Sabelo"(Just answe the question Sabelo)
I say in a firmer voice
"Sebe have I ever given you reason to think that?"
I shake my head no
"Then where is this coming from? Uyati kutsi ngiyakutsandza
Sebentile ngingakwenta njani lengikwatiyo kutsi kutokuvisa
buhlungu?"(You know I love you Sebentile, how can I ever do
something that I know will hurt you?"
I almost believe him
"Where did you go after the braai?"
I ask
"Chad's party"
"Stop lying"
I warn
"I'm telling you the truth babe"
He pleads
"Who was the girl you were with?"
His eyes are out
"I was with no girl"
I chuckle
"Sabelo I'm giving you one more chance to tell the truth if you
can't then we done "
He quickly holds my hands
"Babe please don't leave me I'm begging you"
"The truth"
He sighs running his hands through his hair, he keeps looking at
me shakes his head then looks away. I click my tongue standing
up he pulls my arm
"There is someone "
He bkurts out, I look at him
"There's this girl I've been fooling around with"
He continues I shake my head
"But I don't love her Sebe I swear it was just lust, I love you and
only you"
He looks genuine saying that
"Ngabe ngatile kutsi awukase wangitsandza"(I should have
known you have never loved me)
We turn and it's Sizakele, I should have known it was her
"I know sooner or later she'll realize how much of a bastard you
are"
Sabelo's face is red
"Sizakele don't "
He warns and Sizakele chuckles
"I won't cause any trouble, Sebe babe believe him when he says
he loves you cause he does but at the end of a day he's a
bastard he's an ass and he'll break your heart so bad you'd wish
you have never met him"
She says bitterly and leaves. Sabelo did a number on the girl,
she turns
"And oh for as long as you don't give him the cookie, he'll find
someone else to give him "
I see his veins visible in his forehead, he has no right to get
angry none
"Explain "
°
°
-GUGULEZWE
Well... I passed! 7 Distinctions and all. I'm happy, I just got my
statement and now I'm on my way home to show my parents
all this greatness! I'm driving with my friend from school.
Before I left Mp Sebe and I exchanged numbers and we talk
everyday. Its crazy, I know. We even call each other every now
and then. We good with each other and she mentioned that
things between her and Sabelo are rocky based on the dream
or vision she had of him so yeah, that's that. I send her a picture
of my statement and wait on her response, we both planning
on studying at UP. I love the connection we have momentarily,
with women you can never be so sure.
"Your parents goin be happy"
I smile and nod
"Yeah they will, dad didn't think I'd pass with everything I been
busy with during exams"
I say and just then my cousin calls
"I got a B"
He yells excitedly
"That's great to hear cuz, congratulations"
I say genuinely happy for him
"Mom and dad owe me"
He says, his parents didn't think he'd get a B so they made a bet
of some sort. Since he passed they'll pay off his car. Sakhile
didn't get his car from his parents, he got it from his outside life
but his sisters helped him with the papers and stuff but he was
paying for it but since now he's passed they will take over
"I feel sorry for them. Bazonya"
I say laughing and so does he
"I did my part homie. How'd you do?"
I chuckle
"Same. You spoken to Sabelo?"
He sighs
"What do you want to know? He and Sebe are still dating but
things are rough. He says Sebe's been acting weird since the
party and he thinks you guys may have done something when
he left. Also he thinks Sebe may have heard about him and this
piece of ass he's snacking on"
Sebe told me she was going to confront Sabelo because she
was tired of acting as if she doesn't know what's going on
"I warned him. How's Sebe?"
He let's out a deep breath
"She's Ok I guess, I mean she seems fine to me"
He says but from the little I know, Sebe hides her pain all too
well.
"Take care of her cuz"
I plead and he keeps quiet for a while before responding
"Don't worry about it"
He says
"Thanks bruh, I need to go. We just got home"
I say getting off the car
"Sho cuz, greet the parents for me"
He says, we say our goodbyes as I head inside. My friend drives
to his home.
"And?"
Mom attacks me the minute I walk inside the kitchen. Its funny
cause she saw the newspaper but I guess with these codes and
stuff she doesn't trust me. I hand my statement to her. She
browses through it and starts ululating all excited. I laugh at
her, mom is dramatic!
"What's going on here?"
Dad asks walking in probably invited by his wife's chant
"Our son"
She starts but stops all excited trying to catch her breath
"Our son what kaloku Makhiwa?"
Dad asks still lost
"7 distinctions. Nothing below 90%"
I say proudly, he's so shocked he can't even say anything
"Son thats!"
He says but trails off. He pulls me in for a tight squeeze
"I'm so proud of you"
He says in between our rare moment of affection
"Thanks dad"
I say, we break the hug and mom hugs me once more
"Oh my baby! You have no idea how happy I am as a mother
right now. Gugu this is amazing work and I'm proud of you"
She says breaking the hug
"Thanks you guys, I wouldn't have done it without you"
I say sincerely being true. My parents, mostly mom was very
supportive of my studies and even now she wants me to
become whatever I want to be
"We should celebrate! First I need to call your aunt and tell
her."
She says unable to hide her excitement. My family is not that
big. When mom married dad, she lost all contact with her
family. She was the only child anyway. Apparently there was
beef between their families, beef that started long before they
were born so all she has is my father and me. As for dad, his
sister was the only one to welcome mom with open arms while
the rest of his parents and his older brother didn't. My
grandparents and I don't have a relationship, I've never met
them so the farm my parents visit. Its a farm my dad inherited
from his grandparents.
"Son I really am proud of you. You proved me wrong! When are
you doing your license?"
"Thanks dad. I'll do it in June"
I say, I'm lazy and in no rush to drive anyway
"How about you do it this January before classes start?"
I shrug
"I'll consider it dad"
He nods
"You should call your friends"
He pats my shoulder and leaves me in the kitchen. He's right, I
should call my friends but I right now I just want to talk to Sebe.
I debate with myself based on her not responding to my last
message but I end up calling her anyway
"Cuddles"
I say as soon as she answers
"Listen I'm in the middle of something. I'll call you back later"
She says coldly. What just happened?
20
-SEBENTILE
Gugu has not timing at all, I felt bad on the way I talked to him
but continuing with the phone call would have made it harder
to finish this conversation with Sabelo.
"I'm listening"
I say after hanging, folding my arms
"Who was that?"
Ahh the devil is testing me
"Sabelo I don't have time to play"
His face changes
"It's that Xhosa guy neh?So you busy accusing me of cheating
because it's what you are doing. Sebe how could you do that?"
I chuckle I told you the devil is testing me today
"Let's not go there. You see Sabelo that's what will end our
relationship before it has gotten far because you blame every
little thing that goes wrong between us on Gugu. You cheat on
me it's Gugu, I don't answer my phone, it's Gugu. You even
close to blaming my farting on him"
He's not saying anything
"Sebe"
"Save it Sabelo, the way you so self centered you haven't even
asked me if I made it"
I see a flash of sadness in his face at this point I don't buy it, he
takes my hands into his
"I'm so sorry sthandvwa sami, I know I've been a jerk and I
don't deserve you but please forgive me"
I sigh
"Why did you do it?"
I ask
"Do what?"
He's trying to make me look dumb, I frown my eyebrows
"I can't, I really thought we can try it this out but obviously I
was wrong "
I get up, take my bag and leave. He's shouting after me
"Sebe! Sebentile! Babe please don't do this I love you "
Everyone is looking at us now and I hate this, I turn to look at
nkm
"Sabelo utifakela emehlo"(You drawing attention)
I say fuming
"They can look all they want please forgive me"
Bulo comes running
"Hhaybo what's happening? The whole school is looking at you
guys "
She says as soon as she reaches us
"Nonjabulo ngicela ukhulume naSebe tu"(Can you please talk to
Sebe"
He begs, Bulo looks at me and I keep a straight face
"Wenteni?"(What did you do?)
She asks with her motherly tone
"It was just a misunderstanding Bulo I swear "
I chuckle he's still lying
"A misunderstanding Sabelo? You call being in between
Sizakele's legs a misunderstanding? I must not know the
meaning of a misunderstanding then"
I say raising my voice,Bulo looks at me with pleading eyes she
knows once I get angry it's not easy to calm down. I take her
hand pulling her leaving Sabelo shouting my name.
"Mina why am I suffering for someone else's mistakes?"
She asks when we get out the school yards, I let her hand and
keep on walking
"Sebe"
She says barely above whisper, I don't want to look at her cause
she'll pity me and I definitely don't want to cry today was
suppose to be one of the happiest days in my life. Bulo pulls my
hand making me stop
"I'm sorry, I know I'm the one who encouraged you to give
Sabelo a chance. Ngiyaxolisa"
She pulls me in for a hug and I refuse to cry, I won't cry
"Don't blame yourself nuna, I also wanted to give him a chance
it's not your fault"
I break the hug and look at her, she has glossy eyes.
"Let's go home then make utsite batosimikisa eSpur to
celebrate"(Mom said they'll take us to Spur)
I nod
"I love you my friend and it hurts me when you are hurt, trust
me Sabelo is going to pay for this"
I chuckle I know she means it
"I love you too and no it's not necessary"
"No Sabelo needs to know that he messed with the wrong girl
this time around"
I leave her like that I know there's nothing I can say to change
her mind. We walk to her house hand in hand making jokes and
planning this year.
"Khona lengifuna kumshayela ngitokulandzela nyalo"(There's
someone I need to call, I'll be there in a minute)
I say when we at the gate, She looks at me I know she wants to
say something I know she does
"Okay"
She kisses my cheek and leaves, that's not what I expexted. I
take out my phone and call Gugu
"Sebe"
Hawu what happened to Cuddles kanti? I sniff where the fuck
are these tears coming from now?
"Cuddles talk to me"
He says panick evident in his voice and the taps just open, how
is it possible that he can make me this vulnerable even when
he's miles away from me?
"What happened? Talk to me"
He keeps on saying and the tears keep on falling, I just wish he
was here right now so he can hold me. I know for a fact that
this scent would calm me down immediately, gosh what is
wrong with me? I'm crying for another man but thinking of how
another will comfort me. He keeps telling me to come down
and breath, I do just that and in a matter of minutes I'm calm.
"That's better now talk to me, what's wrong? Did I say not
make it?"
The genuineness and care in his voice is what Sabelo should
have portrayed
"No I made it "
I finally say my voice is a bit scratchy
"Then what?"
I sigh
"It's Sabelo "
I whisper and I wasn't low enough cause I hear him curse, he
did say that Sabelo would screw me up one day he knew, I just
didn't want to believe it I mean who would?.
"I feel like such an idiot Gugu"
I say and the tears make an entrance again
Advertisement
what's wrong with me kant? I'm an emotional being yes but not
this emotional, what are you doing to me Gugulezwe? I'm sure
people must be wondering what's wrong with me, I'm sitting on
the pavement crying my eyes out to someone I only now for a
few weeks, Twana must be disappointed in me right now.
°
°
-GUGULEZWE
Hearing Cuddles crying over that bastard makes my blood boil, I
want to fly to him and kill him with my bare hands.
"Cuddles"
I whisper, I'm worried about her. I just want to hold her in my
arms and promise her things will be okay and that its for the
best that things are as they are now
"Mh"
"You not an idiot Ok? Even if you were then you'd be my idiot"
I say hoping to lighten the mood, she giggles
"There's that sound I love so much"
She giggles even more with sniffs in between.
"You stupid"
She says and I chuckle
"Least I'm not an idiot"
I say jokingly and knowing my cuddles, she gets it. She laugh
"There she is. So how'd you do? Send me a picture"
I say
"I passed. A couple of distinctions here and there"
She says carelessly, knowing her it's more than one
"So we going to UP?"
I ask unable to hide my excitement
"Yes. How'd you do?"
She asks
"Argh you know me, low key nerd and stuff"
She chuckles at me downplaying my results
"Yah Mr Nerd but how?"
I chuckle, she makes jokes now?
"Check your whatsapp, I can't say over the phone. I'm a little
embarrassed"
I say pretending to he be hurt
"Don't lie! Hold on lemme check"
She says. I keep quiet and wait until I hear her scream her lungs
out. Women!!!
"Gugu mahn!"
She scolds and I laugh
"I hate you!"
She says and I laugh even harder
"Uyadika"
She says
"I know. So where's your friend that hates my guts?"
She giggles
"Bulo doesn't hate you. She's inside the house. We going to go
celebrate in a few minutes"
She says, I can't get over how jolly her voice is now.
"Cuddles"
I say in a serious tone
"Yes?"
She says suddenly sounding worried
"Promise me that the next tears to roll down your cheeks will
be tears of joy Ok?"
She goes silent for a while
"Ok"
She finally says
"Ok what?"
I ask playing dumb
"Ok I promise"
"Good. Now go and celebrate, I'll call you later neh?"
I say
"Yes. Bye Gugu"
"You need to get me a pet name now"
I say
"I'll think of something"
She says and we say our final goodbyes before ending the call.
I'm better knowing that she's better, when she called me crying
I was scared that someone had died cause Sebe would never
fail.
After our call I decide to go take a nap, ain't like I got many
friends around here anyway. My last friends or the last gang I
was in is fucked up and we didn't see eye to eye. I'm about to
drift off when I get a call from Mbali telling me she's also going
to UP. I don't need this, Mbali is a distraction, temptation even.
How's this going to work again? I congratulate her and we say
our goodbyes and then I drift off.
"It won't be long now"
Says a voice. I must be going crazy now!
"Excuse me?"
I respond unable to hide my confusion
"You and Sebe"
She says, I'm still lost
"You need to be a bit more specific"
I say, I'm super confused by all this
"Gugu you need her as much as she needs you but Sabelo won't
give her up that easily, especially to you"
She says and my head starts pounding, my breathing rises, I'm
sweating and have this pain on my chest
"What's going on with me?"
I try to ask but the pain I'm experiencing is beyond me
"You need to be spiritually prepared for what lies ahead"
I chuckle
"Yeah sure"
The pain gets worse, I groan in pain
"Stop being stubborn and listen"
She scolds. I keep quiet and I hear Sebe's cry. Its so painful that
I want to rush to her and hold her
"Are you ready to listen now?"
She asks, I sigh "Yes I'm ready" "Gugu, honey wake up"
A voice shouts while shaking me vigorously, I open my eyes and
its mom"Yes mah?"
I say half annoyed. What was that dream about? Is Sabelo going
to hurt Sebe? What does spirituality gotta do with anything?
"Wash your face, we going out to celebrate you passing"
She says, the smile on her face, the joy in her voice and eyes. I
can't help but smile
"Ok mom"
I say and she walks out leaving me getting off the bed. I make
my way to the bathroom to wash my face and soon after we
drive off. I really hope nothing happens to Sebe. I can't lose her,
she's too precious to me. She means everything to me.
21
-GUGULEZWE
We drive to Pana to grab something to eat, I order a beer with
my meal to test my parents but they don't say anything about
my choice of drink.
"So what did you apply for?"
Dad finally breaks the awkward silence after the waiter is gone.
I shrug one shoulder carelessly
"I applied for Pharmacy and Medicine"
I say casually and I can literally feel their eyes on me. You gotta
understand, I wanna build my own practise one day and it will
be a success. There's something fascinating about the human
body, I want to be a Gynaecologist or a General Practitioner.
"You want to be a doctor?"
Dad asks slowly as if he didn't hear me correctly. I nod
"Yeah"
"That's great baby"
Mom says with her award winning smile
"Why a doctor?"
Dad asks still stunned by my choice
"Why not a doctor? Dad I didn't get all those distinctions for
nothing now. I've wanted this since grade 10"
I explain but dad is not convinced at all
"I think its a great profession baby, you will be the best doctor
ever"
Mom says patting my shoulder lightly, I offer a smile in return
"Thanks mom"
I say
"What kind of doctor?"
Dad asks, if I say a Gynae then he'll freak out. Dad is educated
AF! He recently graduated his PhD in Plant Physiology or
something. He works at NMD WSU in Botany. He lectures but
now he wants to retire and write journals or whatever people
with his qualifications do while mom on the other hand is
working on her PhD in accounting. She's the best at what she
does anyway, so that's where I get these brains from
"Don't judge"
I start off looking at dad, he rolls his eyes
"I want to be a gynaecologist"
Mom chuckles at the face dad is making, I can't help but laugh
too. This guy looks like he just heard me say I resurrected the
dead
"You want to work with vagina's?"
He asks and mom and I crack up in laughter
"Wow dad"
I say, he shrugs
"What? That's what those guys do!"
He defends
"You work with plants for a living"
Mom points out as if undermining his job
"I work with students"
He defends
"Students who want to know more about plants"
I say rolling my eyes
"Whatever! What are your other choices?"
He asks
"Medicine or GIS"
I say casually
"You really kept your options limited"
He asks, I shrug
"Those are the only things I've ever been interested in dad"
I defend, he nods
"So when is registration? How much do we have to pay?"
Mom asks as the waiter brings our drinks
"My bursary will cover everything. You just need to make sure I
make it there on time"
I say, they are stunned by all this. I scored a bursary that will
cover everything as long as I produce the results and in the end
I get to work for them
"Gugu when did all this happen?"
Mom asks
"This morning I emailed the company my results and they were
happy so I can go and register"
I respond proudly
"You really thought about this huh?"
Dad says and I nod like a little kid
"Yep! So let's discuss my allowance"
I say setting my elbows on the table and resting my chin on my
interlinked hands
"I've been expecting that"
Mom says with a chuckle
"You know your son"
Dad says and we all laugh it out
"R2500"
Dad suggests
"Make it 3, please"
I plead, mom eyes me
"You guys won't be paying for anything so you might as well"
I say hoping to convince them, they turn to each other
"3k is a lot for someone who won't be buying groceries"
Mom says with a raised eyebrow
"Honey"
Dad says touching mom's hand
"You saw his results, the bond's been paid for, the cars are all
paid off and we won't be paying anything concerning his
education. We might as well"
Dad says, I smile. Mom looks at him and then turns to me
"On one condition"
Dad and I both look at her with our eyes popping out
"Church every Sunday"
She says sipping her juice, I scratch my head
"How will you know I didn't go?"
She smiles
"Trust me baby I will know"
The way she spits those words sends chills down my spine, not
the good kind of chills you know?
"Of cause"
I say in defeat
"So you accept? If you miss a service then the next months you
get 2k a month"
Mom says with a wicked grin
"Challenge accepted"
I say with my own grin. Mom won't know, I'll be hours away
from home after all and she can't have someone spying on me
"You need to get saved"
Mom starts and I chuckle, the hell I will
"For?"
I ask
"Your spiritual health"
Dad responds, he's been so quiet I even forgot he was here
"My what?"
I ask and they not afraid to repeat it together at the same time
"Spiritual health"
I chuckle
"Uhhhm right, good luck with that"
I say leaning back on the booth
.
.
-SEBENTILE
Gugu has this calming effect on me it's magical really, I feel alot
better now and I'm ready to go celebrate
"That took forever"
Bulo says as soon as I get inside,I roll my eyes
"Ohh you here, Papa let's go"
Bulo's mom says and we take our things and leave. We get to
Spur and we the rents tell us to order anything we want. We
settle for fruit cocktails as we wait for our order.
"You girls don't know how proud I am of you"
Mr Ngwenya says and our attention is on him
Bulo's dad doesn't talk much but when he does the authority in
his voice makes you feel like you did something wrong.
"Not that I didn't believe in you girls but you did better than I
expected, and you made me the proudest father ever"
He stands to kiss our foreheads and this moment right here
makes me wonder if my father was here would he be as proud
as Bulo's right now, would mom be smiling like a retard like
Bulo's is doing right now? Ohh I know for a fact that Twana
would be proud,ecstatic even. I know she'd be quoting a
scripture right now,about humbleness and it's benefits. 1Peter
5:6 "Humble yourselves therefore under God's mighty hand
that He may lift you up in due time."
"That's a very powerful scripture "
Bulo's mom says, wait did I say that aloud? Bulo laughs
"Yeah you did"
I hide my face
"She's proud baby,and so are we"
I smile, this is home
"Which university are you girls going to?"
"UP"
We say in unison then laugh
"Didn't you get acceptance at other universities?"
Mom asks
"I did, at Rhodes, DUT and Wits"
Bulo says proud
"And you Sebe?"
I clear my throat
"Uhm at Wits and DUT also"
Bulo nudges me,I shrug
"She's just being modest, she got accepted at almost every
university in the country, the ones we applied to though"
Why is she putting me on the spot like that?
"That's great love, you must be proud of yourselves"
Bulo and I both smile
"When is the registration?"
Does this man always have to ask such questions
"Monday"
"Do we have to pay for it?"
Mom asks
"Cha make, sitfole ma sponsor. Batobhadzala konkhe."(No
mom,we got sponsors they'll pay for everything"
Bulo's mom starts crying
"Lord thank you so much for blessings us so much, how can we
thank you?"
She says in between the tears and I'm also on the verge of
crying, I'm a crier of such a word exists. I cry for almost
everything.
"I wouldn't be a good parent if I didn't ask what you'll be doing"
Bulo's dad says after her woman has calmed down
"Law and Sebe Accounting science"
Bulo says, and my phone rings I excuse myself to go answer it.
"Mrs R"
I answer and she laughs
"Where did you get that one? I love it"
She's got such a sweet voice
"I'm a master of nicknames"
She cracks up more
"When did you become a comedian"
I chuckle
"I'm not, I'm just happy"
I say
"I heard you made the school proud"
School?
"You the top perfoming learner in the entire district"
And the tears make an entrance, told you I'm a crier
"Ohh baby don't cry. I'll come with your present later okay?"
I nod as if she can see me
"Sebe"
She calls
"Ma?"
"I'll see you later okay?"
She repeats
"Okay ma. Bye"
I walk back to our table, their faces fill with worry
"Were you crying?
"What's wrong?"
Bulo and her mom say at the same time, I sit down
"Apparently I'm the top perfoming student in the entire
district"
There's silence in the table and Bulo screams, everyone is
looking at us
"Friend that's amazing. My friend is a genius y'all"
She shouts for everyone to hear, Lord what do I do to her? She
then pulls me into a hug
"I'm so proud to be your friend right now"
She says settling down
"Soon you'll be a celebrity all over the papers and stuff,wow"
We laugh this girl can be dramatic when she wants to
"Congratulations baby"
Bulo's mom says and I give her an acknowledging smile
"We'll be leaving on Monday early to help you girls register and
look for a place "
The old man says
"Won't you be going to work?"
Bulo asks
"No, everyone at work knows that my duaghters are going to
university so I'll be busy with that"
Told you this is home. My phone rings again
"Celebrity"
We laugh Bulo is something else
"It's the principal"
I'm looking at my phone ringing, Bulo takes and it and answers
then puts it on loud speaker
"Principal"
I say
"Sebentile kunjani sesi"
"Ngiyaphila ma"
"I'm calling to ask of your whereabouts?"
I frown
"We at Spur with Bulo and her parents"
"Okay, I'll be there in a few. The local newspaper wants and
interview with you, circuit manager also and there's a few
prizes we need to give you"
Proverbs 30:5 "God keeps every promise He makes. He is like a
shield for all who seek his protection"
22
-GUGULEZWE
I've registered and moved in to res and stuff. My cousin, Sakhile
is studying at Wits studying Pharmacy. My cousin has a thing
for drugs. He doesn't use them but nigga is fascinated by them
and hopes to run his own pharmaceutical company one day. As
much as he is messed up and involved in crime, he's a smart
person and takes his studies serious. We chilling in my room
eating fries, its been a day since I moved in and I haven't seen
Sebe or Mbali thou we chat on whatsapp
"So why didn't you come study this side? Your girl is here and
all"
I decide to ask since he told me he was accepted here but
didn't follow through
"She's the reason I ain't studying here. I'm involved with
dangerous people and if they find out about her then she could
get hurt"
He explains with a sigh
"And how does she feel about you studying there and not
here?"
He shrugs
"I never told her I got accepted here, didn't even tell her I
applied"
He says carelessly
"How could you not tell your girlfriend that? I thought you love
her"
I say and really he does love her but nigga is too much of an ass
to lay his heart on his palm and hand it over to a girl. Sakhile is
too proud to tell Bulo he loves her and also he's too scared to,
he fears that she might hurt him if she knew. He believes that
women act crazy when they know they loved
"Do you know my girlfriend? Bulo would never let it rest if she
knew. I'd never stop hearing about it. Every time something
happens she'd remind me that I chose Wits over her. She's
safer here and not knowing"
He says sipping his drink and I nod
"And she's not suspicious of the money and the car?"
I ask with a raised eyebrow
"Nope. She knows my parents have money and so do my
sisters"
I just nod, maybe she's ignorant but then again Sebe doesn't
know Sabelo is in a gang so I guess the guys hide their shiit well.
My phone rings and its Mbali.
"Flower Child"
She giggles, that name always gets her
"What are you doing? I'm bored"
She says
"In my room chilling with Sakhile. You should join us"
I offer
"Where's your room?"
"I'll text you on whatsapp"
I say, we end the call and I text her my res and room number.
"What's going on there?"
He asks as soon as I end the call
"We friends"
I say with a shrug
"Your face tells me otherwise"
He says looking at me with scrutiny
"When Mbali was in Mthatha we slept together"
His jaw drops to the floor
"What?"
"I know"
I say in a dismissive tone
"How was it?"
He asks wiggling his eyebrows, I chuckle
"Lit AF!"
I say, he's smiling like a kid who got candy
"Dude!"
I shrug
"And Sebe?"
I sigh because really this thing is confusing
"We agreed that it never happen again. She knows I like Sebe
and with her it was a moment of weakness from both of us"
"Moment of weakness my ass! Y'all been eye-f*cking ever since
you met. It was only a matter of time"
He says accompanying his statement with a chuckle. He's right,
I've been wishing to tap that but I couldn't, not with Sebe in the
same location. Their houses ain't even that far from each other
"Maybe you right"
I say
"You a dick bruh! You went off at Sabelo and yet you went and
did the same"
He says shaking his head
"Except I'm not in a relationship with any of them"
I defend
"So instead you finna hurt both of em?"
He asks, it's rhetorical but he has a point
"I'm not tryna hurt anyone here. I know one of them might end
up getting hurt in the process but Mbali was once of"
He nods
"And Sebe? Was she also a once off fling?"
I roll my eyes at him. Is that even a question?
"Until Sebe can sort out her shiit with Sabelo, there's no us. I
can't just sit around and wait for her dude"
He just nods, thanks to his ringing phone he gets up to answer
it by the window. I get a text from Mbali asking me to go sign
her in. I take my key and leave this idiot talking to his girlfriend.
I get downstairs and Missy looks good, as usual. I sign her in
and we share a hug
"Long time"
I say breaking the hug
"It's really been hey"
She says looking awkward. We walk up to my room over lousy
conversation
"Flower"
Sakhile says as we walk in
"Hi Sakhile, how are you?"
Mbali greets with a smile
"I'm good, I hope you are too. I have to go, Bae called"
He says
"See you around cuz"
I say as he walks out. We go and sit on the bed
"Can I offer you something to drink?"
I ask
"Yes please"
She says, I get up and pour her a drink. I hand it to her, we do
talk but things aren't the same anymore
"You ready for varsity?"
She asks, I shake my head
"Not really but what choice do we have, are you?"
She shrugs
"I'm excited to be here"
I nod in anticipation
"Mbali about what happened this holiday..."
She cuts me off
"We friends Gugu, let's keep it at that"
.
.
-SEBENTILE
I take a deep breath in. 'I made it' I think to myself. Gran would
be so proud of me. Seeing Bulo's parents go was really sad but
its time to grow up now and be a big girl. Bulo lives in another
res, different courses and all but its still on campus and so is
Gugu so I'm good. Speaking of which I haven't seen him
yeah we've been chatting on whatsapp but I miss him you
know.
As for Sabelo... Where do we stand? That's a good question, I
like Gugu but I don't know him that well. What if he's worse
than Sabelo? But on the other hand he treats me right in ways
even I could ever ask for. Relationships are hard.
I've just finished unpacking and resting a bit before I go to Bulo,
my phone rings and its Sabelo. He has been calling and I've
been ignoring him, I needed a break.
"Hi"
I say coldly so that he knows I'm still mad
"Hey baby. Are you busy?"
He asks,
"Sabelo what do you want?"
At this point his mere voice annoys me
"Can we talk? I'm in your campus"
He says, Sabelo passed with a B and got into UJ so that's where
he will be studying.
"Please Sebe"
He pleads, his voice is so calm
"You have 5 minutes"
I say and drop the call. I fix myself up just to spite him. He must
see that life didn't come to a standstill all because he couldn't
keep it in his pants. I take one last look at myself before
heading out. On the way I get a text from Bulo telling me
Sakhile is on campus and so she'll come over later instead. I text
her Ok, I'm disappointed but then what did I expect. She's in a
happy relationship unlike me and Sakhile adores her even if he
hasn't said the 'L-word'.
I get inside Sabelo's car and his jaw drops, I'm wearing a dress
and a sandal. Nothing fancy but it sits properly on my body and
shows off my skin.
"Uhhm.. Hi Sebe"
He says clearing his throat
"You wanted to talk"
I say sternly giving him a cold stare
"I messed up and I won't lie to you and say it was a mistake
cause it wasn't. When we started dating I was all about you and
I still am, that night you couldn't come to that house party shiit
went down and I slept with her. It was wrong of me, I shouldn't
have but she was there and you weren't"
He sighs running his hands over his face
"This went on for a while, on new year when I left, I went to
her. She'd called me and asked me to come over and so I did
but Sebe with her it was just sex I swear. You the only one I love
Sebentile. She means nothing"
He says pleading with his eyes, I chuckle
"She clearly meant something if you kept going back to her for
sex. I really thought Gugu was making shiit up a..."
He cuts me off
"Gugu? So he was the one who told you?"
He snaps with anger visible in his voice and very tense
"Does it matter how I know? She confirmed it at school Sabelo!
Yazin' this is pointless"
I say grabbing the door handle but he holds my hand, his touch
is soft
"I'm sorry"
He pleads
"Whatever she and I had is over. Sebe you my girl, you the one I
love, you the one I need and want to be with. Tell me what it
will take for us to go back to how we used to be"
He pleads, I just watch him begging with tears. I laugh in
disbelief, he's joking right? Why am I even still here
"Please Sebe. I know I messed up but please give me a second
chance"
He says kissing my hand
"I won't mess it up again I promise. Look, here's my phone. You
can go through my messages, I'll even give you my Facebook,
instagram and twitter passwords to show how serous I am
about us"
He says. I sigh, its tempting but is this what I want? To be with
someone I can't trust?
"I understand I broke your trust but let me earn it back Sebe
please"
He begs, feels good having him at my mercy.
"Sabelo please let go of my hand"
I say and he drops it
"I can't"
I say looking out. I spot Gugu walking with Mbali looking all
kinds of cosy. They would make a cute couple, if they aren't one
already. I watch them hold hands and let go of each other, they
giggle together and bump into each other every now and then.
I'm jealous, they so cute. I turn to a begging Sabelo
"Fine" I snap "If you mess up again"
He cuts me off and pulls me in for a kiss. It's not enough to
erase Gugu's kisses. Its not the same. There's no spark or
passion in it. He breaks the kiss
"Bye Sabelo"
I say and walk out of his car
23
-GUGULEZWE
I chuckle at her quick response and so does she
"Oh Gugu! What is this?"
She says laughing, I shrug my shoulders
"We ruined a perfect friendship"
I say and she nods
"So what now?"
She asks with a raised eyebrow, I sigh
"Surely you don't expect me to leave you alone now that I know
what sex with you is like"
I say and she shakes her head no. I don't even know why I said
that honestly
"Gugu I can't do this to myself. I can't compete with Sebe over
you again. I did it with Sabelo and I got hurt"
She says more serious with hurt in her voice
"And I'm not trying to be your second choice cause you couldn't
get with Sebe"
She says, I chuckle. Not because she said anything funny but I'm
in disbelief
"Mbali I like you. I enjoyed sex with you and I know you
enjoyed sex with me too"
"But?"
She disturbs
"I want more of you. That can't possibly be the end of our
screw"
Its more of a question than it is a statement
"Gugu"
"I know I'm being blunt but we both grown to be playing games
here. We can't deny our sexual attraction to each other and I'd
be an idiot to let you screw one of these idiots on this campus"
I say brushing her cheek and she leans in on my touch
"What are you suggesting?"
She asks and i shrug one shoulder
"Friends with benefit's"
She chuckles sarcastically
"Until Sebe decides she wants you"
She says with annoyance, I chuckle
"No, until you decide otherwise"
I assure, she looks at me doubtful
"I don't know if I can settle for this. Sounds like you saying I'm
only good for a fuck"
She says with a shrug
"No that's not true and if you not up for it then that's Ok"
I say, she sighs
"And where would that leave our friendship?"
She asks innocently
"We still friends and this won't change anything"
I assure, she shakes her head
"Things will never be the same again and you know it"
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly
"I can lie and try convince you into this but I'm not going to. Its
your choice Flower Child"
I say and get up to put my glass on the table, I turn and she's in
deep thoughts
"Come, let's explore campus. Give ourselves a tour before
orientation"
I say holding my hand out to her, she looks at my hand and
then up at me then places her beautiful manicured hand into
mine
"Let's go then"
She says as I pull her up to her feet, she stumbles
"Did you drug me?"
She asks with this cute smile
"Maybe I did"
I say pulling her towards the door
"I can still fight you"
I chuckle
"Not if you high on drugs"
We both laugh
"You stupid"
She says pushing
"But you afraid to lose me"
I say with a smug and she giggles
"I don't remember saying that"
She says lightly pushing me that we end up playing, we already
outside. I hold my arm out to her and she hooks her arm into
mine.
"Ready for our tour?"
She smiles and nods
"Hell yeah I am"
I chuckle
"Well before us is what is known as Res Yama Fresher which in
English is res for newbies.. Well for guys"
She laughs
"That's nice to know"
She says and we turn towards the parking lot
"This over here is the students parking lot and these are cars"
She just laughs at me. We continue walking talking and
laughing at me pointing out obvious things. I spot Sebe getting
out of what looks like Sabelo's car. I pay no mind and continue
giving Mbali a tour
"And this over here is UP"
I say standing in front of the main building
"Its beautiful"
She says, I keep side eyeing Sebe who is walking as fast as she
can towards her res
"And now we go in and explore"
I say pulling her in
"Hey, isn't that Sebe? S-E-B-E"
She yells, for a second Sebe turns. Mbali waves and she waves
back
"Come let's go ask her to join our tour"
She says pulling me towards Sebe. I'm literally dragging my feet
behind her. We reach Sebe and greet with a couple of hugs, she
smells of a man's cologne.
"We taking a tour around school, you should join us"
Mbali suggests, Sebe looks at Mbali and then at me then fakes
an apologetic smile
"I'm sorry guys but I have to unpack"
She says, I roll my eyes
"Tell you what, we will help you unpack soon as the tour is
over, right Gugu?"
I nod
"Yeah"
I'm really not happy with this set up and I think Mbali did it to
see where Sebe and I stand around each other. Sebe is hesitant
but she agrees. I hold out my other arm for her and she says
she's good. I let her be
I don't get the bad vibes she's throwing me
.
.
-SEBENTILE
So Mbali and Gugu are trying to rub their relationship in my
face... I don't even want this so-called tour, maybe Gugu didn't
tell Mbali about us else she wouldn't be this nice towards me. I
sigh walking beside Gugu who is leading the tour and giving us
some made up historic background about the place, he's funny
but at this point I'm not fazed by him and his jokes but Mbali
seems content and happy.
Why am I even jealous? Argh!
"Sebe you Ok?"
Mbali startles me bringing me back, I nod
"I'm fine, let's continue"
I say dismissing her, she stops and turns to me
"Look, I heard what happened at school the day we went to
fetch our statements. I'm sorry Ok?"
She says pulling me into a hug
"Sabelo is a dick, I would know. But you going to be fine"
If only she knew that she and Gugu are the reason I'm even
moody. Gosh!
"He and I, we good"
I say breaking out of the hug. I say that hoping to read Gugu's
expression but I get nothing
"Oh that's good to hear I guess"
Mbali says, her face though gives her away on how she really
feels
"Do you think I made the right decision by getting back
together with him?"
Gugu chuckles sarcastically
"You seeking approval for your decision should answer your
question. Ladies can we go now"
Wow! That was cold, what did I do? Angithi he's the one trying
to rub his relationship in my face
"Sebe we can't tell you what to do or how to feel about your
boyfriend but if this is what you want then so be it, screw us
and our opinions"
Mbali says brushing my cheek
"Thanks Mbali"
I say, she offers a smile and then we continue walking
"Mr tour guide where can I find the nearest ladies?"
Mbali asks,
"Should be back there"
Gugu says
"We'll wait here for you Ok?"
She smiles and walks away leaving us in awkward silence
"So you got back together with him"
He starts as soon as Mbali is out of our reach
"You one to talk busy looking all cosy with your girlfriend and
rubbing it in my face"
I shoot back pissed
"So what? I'm supposed to sit and wait for you until you decide
what it is you want? You can't have your bread buttered on
both sides sisi"
He says, I'm shocked cause he's not denying that they are an
item
"This was a bad idea"
I say, he chuckles
"You think? Why did you even agree to join us if all you were
planning to do is sulk?"
I shrug
"I don't even understand why you are mad! You with Mbali"
He chuckles in disbelief. I click my tongue
"This is pointless. Just be careful Ok?"
He warns with sincerity in his voice
"What do you care?"
I ask sarcastically
"You'd be surprised"
He says with a smirk. I keep quiet seeing Mbali approach. Its
tense between us and I hate it.
"Ok we can go now"
She says hooking her arm to his, that small gesture alone is
enough to tick me off. Why can't we put our prides aside and
just be together? We walk and he pretends as if we did not just
have an altercation. Ass!
My phone rings and its Bulo, nothing much either than her just
checking up on me and telling me she'll be back later. I get a
text from Sabelo with hearts and him thanking me for the
second chance, if only I could tell him that I didn't do it for him
but to spite Gugu who seems to careless what I do with my
relationship. I sigh at my thoughts.
"Ok let's go and grab something to eat"
Mbali says bringing me back. We make our way out of the
campus
"So where do you guys feel like going?"
Gugu asks
"Anywhere is fine"
I say, he rolls his eyes at me
"Let's just buy fries, bread and a drink"
Mbali suggests
"Don't you get tired of fries?"
Gugu asks poking Mbali, she giggles
"I love fries plus they convenient"
She says shoving him lightly
"Come let's take a selfie guys"
Mbali suggests, I feel so awkward around them but whatever.
She and Gugu argue about who will take the selfie and Gugu
wins, he's taller anyway. We take a couple of selfies and then
we walk to a tuck shop outside campus.
24
-GUGULEZWE
I don't think a woman has ever frustrated me the way Sebe
does. I'm ouchea having relationship problems yet I ain't even
in one.
After our lunch, the girls headed to their res and I went to
mine.
"Ekse"
I greet after noticing my flatmate in the mini lounge that
separates our rooms
"Hey, I'm Lungile"
I wave
"Gugulezwe but call me Gugu. So when did you get here?"
I ask leaning by the door. Our res is like a 2bedroom apartment
where we share a bathroom and then downstairs we have a
common room and kitchen
"A couple of minutes ago, like 30minutes ago"
I nod
"Nice meeting you. I'm taking a nap"
I say that leaving him in the lounge to my room where i take my
shoes off and lay on my bed.
"Stop playing games"
A voice says, I look around and can't see anyone
"Stop playing games with her else she'll get hurt"
She says, its a woman's voice
"Who?"
She chuckles at my rhetorical question, part of me thinks she's
talking about Sebe but what if this is actually about Mbali
"You know who I'm talking about. Things from hereon are only
going to get worse"
I'm so confused its not even funny
"How?"
I ask, I really need this person to be a little more specific
"You need her as much as she needs you"
I chuckle feeling annoyed
"Lady stop speaking in riddles and just tell me whats up"
She chuckles sarcastically
"Patience son"
And like that she's gone. I wake up and I'm sweating, I look
around and its already dark, I take my phone and check the
time and its around 7pm
I had a couple of messages but one that caught my eye was the
one from Mbali agreeing for us to do this fuckbuddy thing and
that I shouldn't hurt her. I won't lie that alone made my day,
made me forget about Sebe. I text Mbali back
"Glad to see you came to your senses"
I hit send and soon she sends laughing emojies accompanied by
"full of yourself much?"
I chuckle and send a smirk accompanied by "more like I want to
be full of you"
I'm flirting with Mbali and we vibing. I love the energy she gives
off, so carefree and lovable and very much pretty, her beauty
still amazes me even now. I shove my phone in my back pocket
and make my way to get something to eat. I'm about to get out
when my phone rings, its Sakhile
"Mntase"
I answer walking out
"Come sign me in"
He demands
"I'm on my way down"
I say then end the call. This one must think he owns me. I get
downstairs and he has food
"How'd you know?"
I ask gesturing at the food, he chuckles
"I didn't know but Bulo is mad at me"
He sighs
"Ey dog, she's mad over me knowing that Sabelo had a side
piece and I didn't tell her and as if that couldn't be worse, she
saw my acceptance email"
He says. I chuckle at how he looks
"You think its funny"
He says shoving me
"Its funny that your girlfriend saw your email. How did that
happen?"
He chuckles
"Notification tray. She borrowed my phone to call Sebe and
then she saw that"
I laugh at him
"I've told you time and time to clear your notifications"
He shrugs
"Yeah well I don't have the time"
I laugh at him
"So what now?"
He shrugs
"I don't know, I aint been in a relationship before. I don't know
what to do in this situation except say sorry. Heck she should
be apologizing to me for going through my phone"
He says a little pissed. Its funny cause he left has nothing to
hide. His shady deals have their own personal phone and its
always on silent and he hides it well.
"Google ways to apologize to your girl"
I suggest as we walk into my place
"I ain't got time for that shiit. She needs to understand"
I chuckle at how mad he is
"How she goin understand when she doesn't know what it is
she must understand. You telling me that if roles were
reversed, you were going to understand?"
He shrugs
"Probably. I'm not those instagram relationship goals type of
guy bruh"
We both laugh at his stupidity
"None of us is but you gotta go the extra mile for your girl"
I say patting him
"So what's up with you?"
I shrug
"Mbali agreed to being fuckbuddies"
His jaw drops and his mouth opens wide
"I know"
I say
"And Sebe? What am I even asking. Sabelo told me she took
him back"
Part of me was hoping Sebe spoke of her and Sabelo fixing
things to spite me for being with Mbali and I know I should
have denied the allegations but she's cute when she's jealous.
At least I know who she really wants but I can't always be the
first one to make a move. She must grow up and decide what
she really wants, if I'm what she wants.
.
.
-SEBENTILE
Maybe I should just leave Gugu and Sabelo and just focus on
me cause clearly shiit ain't working! My life was better off when
I didn't date anyone. I had less problems, less drama, less stress
and just less everything. I get to my room and throw myself on
the bed
I'm about to sleep when there's a knock on the door. I drag my
feet to open and its Mbali. I put on my fakest smile
"Hey"
She smiles
"I'm sorry for just showing up but can we talk?"
She says, I nod and open the door wide enough
"Can I get you something to eat or drink"
I ask cause it feels awkward having her here
"Haibo Sebe. We just ate, I'm still good"
She says and I chuckle and join her
"So what's up"
"It feels weird for me to even want to ask this but I have to
know what I'm getting myself into"
When someone starts a sentence off like that? Expect the
worst.
"What are you talking about?"
I ask nervously, she sighs
"What's going on between Gugu and you, if you don't mind me
asking"
She says sounding just as nervous. Every girl has a bitchy side to
her, apparently even me. I want to tell her that I'm the first girl
to ever feel his tongue on her cake but I decide against it. They
dating and I'm making things uncomfortable for her
"Nothing is going on between Gugu and I. We just friends"
I assure, she looks at me with scrutiny
"The tension between you guys doesn't seem like that of
friends"
She points out, I shrug
"The last thing I want is to be played like I was when I got with
Sabelo. You're an amazing person, I love you. Don't mean to
sound creepy about it. But I can't keep competing with you
over a guy. I don't want that with Gugu so please Sebe, be
straight up with me"
She pleads, she's so beautiful, so sincere. I don't blame Gugu
one bit.
"Mbali I'm dating Sabelo, I see Gugu as nothing but a good
friend to me. I'm happy you guys are together"
I say brushing her knee, she chuckles
"Together? What? Oh no babe we not dating"
She corrects, I flush with embarrassment
"I thought"
She cuts me off
"No babe we friends and Gugu would like for us to be more
that's all"
I don't know how to respond. When did Gugu even approach
her? I shouldn't have gotten back together with Sabelo then.
Flip!
"Nah you should give it a shot with him"
I say, the words alone leave a bitter taste in mouth but I have
no right to be mad or jealous or whatever because Gugu was
never mine.
"Thank you Sebe. Are we good?"
I nod and pull her into a hug afraid my face might contradict my
words.
Bulo is pissed as I open the door for her, I don't understand
cause she's always happy when she comes back from Sakhile.
"You ok?"
I ask leading her to the room, she has food with her. Its already
around 7
"Yazi Sakhile is a dick! Gosh he makes me so mad"
She says angrily throwing herself on the bed
"What did he do?"
She huffs
"He knew about Sabelo cheating on you and didn't say
anything"
She says, I shrug
"It wasn't his place"
I defend
"Screw that Sebe. He knows I love and care about you and
would kill Sabelo given the chance. He should have told me!"
I sigh heavily, she chuckles in disbelief
"That's not even half of it. He got accepted here but chose Wits
over me. He chose Wits"
She says and this time its more hurt than anger that I hear in
her voice
"A person that loves you surely would go wherever you go. I
hate the fact that he lied to me and said he was rejected."
She says with her voice breaking
I pull her to me. Bulo really likes Sakhile and seeing her like this
breaks my heart. I brush her back and I sobs
"Don't cry"
I say
"He really hurt me Sebe. I thought he loved me"
I shake my head
"Doubt him all you like but Sakhile loves you! That man adores
you, he worships the ground you walk on!"
I assure
"He didn't even apologize Sebe. He told me that we didn't have
to attend the same university for me to know he likes me. He
used the word like"
I brush her back as she let's out mini sobs
"Even if he did. That guy loves you!"
I assure and then pull her away from me. I cup her face and
wipe her tears with my thumbs
"Please don't cry. Come let's eat and forget about today"
I say with a smile. She chuckles
"He bought this food you know. Locked the car and drove us to
MacD and told me that he wasn't dropping me off at your place
until he was sure I had food and would eat"
I chuckle, she looks at me
"That's a guy that loves you! Even if he's mad he still wants you
to eat"
She clicks her tongue and I laugh
25
-SEBENTILE
Bulo finally fell asleep well after hours of whining, yati
boNonjabulo have nice relationship problems. Yeah Sakhile was
wrong to not tell her about everything kodvwa naye
unehaba(she's exaggerating). I undress to go take a shower I
need it after the day I had and I hate crowded showers, luckily
for me we don't share showers except with my flatmate ohh
there's only two of us in the whole flat, we share the bathroom
and kitchen and then there are lounges around the res plus
common areas and stuff so yeah. I wrap a towel around my
body, take my toiletries and my phone rings as I'm about to go
out it's Sabelo gosh as if my day couldn't get any better.
"Babe"
I feel everything in me turn
"Hey, I'm about to take a bath can you call me back later"
I say fast hoping he gets the picture
"Okay, I want us to go for a night cap tomorrow I'm heading
out"
Lord what did I put myself into
"Call me after an hour"
He laughs
"Kantsi ugeza inkhomo nah?" (Are you bathing a cow?)
Had it been someone else I'd be laughing right now
"Later"
I don't even wait for him to respond I end the call. I go shower
listening to some soul soothing music making me think of all
the relationship problems I have, yati I've only started dating
now and the problems I have reflect that. I want Gugu the
attraction or effect he has on me is beyond what words can
ever describe but now there's Mbali in the picture I can see she
loves him and it's a shame that the guys she wants want me,
that would bring my self-esteem to a zero had it happen to me I
swear.
"Sebe"
Bulo shouts from the other side of the door
"Ye?"
I turn down the music
"You have a guest"
"I'll be out in a minute"
I hear footsteps which means she's walking away I just hope it's
not Sabelo I would die.My room is opposite the bathroom
convinient right? I could go to the bathroom half asleep and get
back to bed before I'm wide awake, perfect. I quickly lotion
then get dressed in leggings and a best then head to the
kitchen.
"Hi"
I say to this perfectly looking stranger
"Hello,you good?"
Who wouldn't be good when one of God's best creatition is
right in front of me? Bulo looks at me and I give a blank look, I
don't know the guy
"Yeah, you?"
I say
"Awesome. I know we don't know each other but I saw you
earlier around the building and I want to invite you over for a
young chillas"
I nod for him to continue
"It's not really a party jsut res mates getting to know each other
before classes commenced and who knows maybe you'll find
someone doing the same course as you"
He's very convincing
"Ahh I don't know we were about to head in?"
I say as a question looking at Bulo hoping she'll say yes
"We'll let you know"
Bulo jumps in great now she's just told the guy we coming
"Great, I'm in 704 and my name is Lucky"
He says standing up, great height taller than me obviously,
caramel in color and the skrrr hair he has on looks good on him
"What time does it start?"
He glances at his watch
"I'm 30 minutes"
He says
"Okay thanks"
Bulo says standing up she's low key telling the guy to leave,
they walk together to the door
"Oh I'm so sorry I didn't ask your names"
He's already outside
"I'm Nonjabulo and that's my best friend Sebentile"
He nods
"Hope to see you later then"
He says walking away, Bulo is about to close the door when
someone pushes it
"Who's that piece of yummyness that just came out of here?"
A light skinned medium height girl asks getting in. Bulo and I
look at her blankly she notices and laughs
"I'm Khumo your flatmate"
She looks between me and Bulo for conformation
"Sebentile your flatmate"
I hand her a hand
"Baby girl I don't do handshakes come here"
She pulls me in for a hug then pulls out
"I assume you are the best friend?"
This girl is forward
"No I'm the boyfriend"
I gasp what did this child just say
"Ohh my word I've never had lesbian friends wow this is
amazing"
Bulo cracks up in laughter
"I love you already"
She says
"Isn't that inappropriate considering your girlfriend is right in
front of you"
She says folding her arms, drama queen
"Nonjabulo Sebe's best friend"
She keeps quiet
"Oh so you not dating?"
She finally asks
"Yeah I just wanted to see your reaction and I have no doubt
we'll be good friends"
The girl is smiling like a retard, she and Bulo hug.
"So that set of yummyness is who's boyfriend?"
We drinking juice now sitting on the kitchen high chairs.
"We don't know the guy"
She squints her eyes, this girl is cute
"Then what was he doing here"
"To invite her to a get together"
Bulo says pointing to me
"Us"
I murmur
"It doesn't matter, are you going?"
I shake my head
"I don't know"
She shakes her head also
"Aowa moghel it's still the start of the year and classes haven't
commenced plus it's safer to go to parties now than during the
semester"
I look at her for a while
"What if your timetable only gets hectic? You won't have time
for anything"
She says
"How do you know so much"
I ask phela for a first year she sure is informed
"I know people babes, so are we going or not?"
I shrug looking at Bulo
"I need the distraction anyway so let's go"
Khumo squels this girl has too much energy
"Perfect, let's go get ready ladies"
She stands up and struts to her room
she has a beautiful body all the curves in the right places plus
she's petite she's amazing. "Uvile moghel" (You heard moghel)
Bulo says after some silence and I laugh
"You sure you want to go?"
I ask her
"It'll help I can't be stressing over Sakhile so early in the year"
The diva is back
"As long as you sure"
She nods and we head to the bedroom to get dressed.
.
.
-GUGULEZWE
I've just accompanied Sakhile, told him to try call her and send
her sweet apology texts and buy her roses or chocolates or
something Bulo likes, he has the money for it after all. I call
Mbali on my way in
"Hey"
She answers after a while
"Am I disturbing?"
I ask
"Nah not really, what's up?"
She asks
"Let's go for ice creams"
I offer
"You tryna make me catch feels?"
I chuckle at her response. But then again girls love these small
displays of affection. I'm not about to treat the poor girl like a
walking vagina now.
"What if I am?"
I ask and she giggles
"Then you should not do that else uzoxakana nento"
She says, I chuckle
"I'm sure I can handle you Flower child"
She laughs
"Ok let's go, meet outside my res"
She says
"I'm coming there now"
I say walking past the school, she lives in the same res as Sebe
but a different floor. I sit by a bench outside and just wait, I
could get in since I'm a student here and all but I'm not ready to
bump into Sebe. After plus minus 10 minutes Mbali shows up.
"Am I missing something?"
I ask seeing how hot she looks
"No you not missing nothing. Some guy came to invite me to a
party as I was walking out"
I nod
"And you don't even drink... Why don't you go?"
She shakes her head
"I'll go when we come back"
I chuckle
"And what if we don't come back"
I ask with a smirk, she shoves me lightly
"We will come back here Gugu even if its at 1am"
I laugh
"If you say so"
I say. I'm really not up for some party being hosted by
freshmen, what kind of booze do they even have? I bet niggas
are trying to get laid
"You're a little over dressed for a mere walk to buy ice cream"
I point out, she's wearing sneakers, shorts and a cute vest that
shows off her amazing cleavage and a long cardigan
"This is not overdressed haibo"
I shrug
"If you say so"
We start walking over light conversation. She tells me about her
talk with Sebe. I'm not fazed
"So basically you was asking for permission?"
I ask as we walk into this cute shop. I take a tornado ola ice
lollie and she opts for a magnum
"Tryna bruise my wallet so early"
I say and she laughs
"Yes I am actually! And no, I wasn't asking for permission but
I've seen how she looks at you Gugu and its different from how
she looks at Sabelo. Anyone can tell she likes you Gugu"
I pay and we walk out
"Then why agree to what I suggested?"
I ask with a raised eyebrow, she sighs
"Cause for once I need to think about me and what I need"
She says, I nod
"And I'm what you need?"
She chuckles
"No but you better cause I know you."
She corrects, I chuckle with a slow nod. I think Mbali will catch
feels quicker than expected
"Mbali you can't fall for me"
I warn and she nods
"I know. Duh! Should we draw up a contract on what this must
come with?"
I nod
"It should to avoid any kind of confusions or whatever"
She nods
"And what happens if I meet a guy I like?"
I chuckle
"If you believe you'll meet him then I guess that will be the end
of us"
She laughs really hard
"You are so full of yourself you know that?"
I nod chuckling
"Of cause I am, you like me this way"
We both laugh. I enjoy Mbali's company, she's a great person. I
wouldn't mind dating her
"You need to be admitted into a mental institution!"
She says and we both laugh. We walk back to res over light
conversation and end up going to the party so that later we go
back to my place. Mbali insists on checking out the vibe and
how things are there. We get there and the music is pumping,
people are carefree and dancing the night away. We walk in
further just checking how things are in the place
"Nah, I think I'm good to go. This party is not my scene"
I say looking around, people are too happy
"Let's just find the guy that invited me over so that he knows I
showed up"
She says pulling my hand through the crowd. Looking around I
think I spot Sebe and Bulo or my eyes are deceiving me. I
decide to check her whatsapp status to maybe see if she posted
anything. My worry is that these boys are thirsty and might try
something or spike her drink. Mbali stops sudden and I bump
into her. I hear her talking but I keep looking back to see Sebe.
"This is my friend Gugu, Gugu meet Kwakho he lives here"
She introduces, we fist bump greeting each other. He's looking
at her with hunger in his eyes. Kids! We say our goodbyes and
leave him. As we are walking I notice that its really Sebe and
Bulo, Sakhile won't like this one bit. I text him to come through
to the party because with him there then Sebe will be safe. He
calls me same time
"Mntase"
I answer
"Where are you? Sabelo and I are on our way"
I cringe at the mention of his name but at least Sebe will be
safe
26
GUGULEZWE
I tell them the room number and then shove my phone in my
pocket.
We get to my room and we start kissing from the door all the
way to the bed, I place her nicely on the bed and get on top of
her, she's panting already and so am I. I'm ready for action but
girls prefer foreplay and ish. We kissing while taking each
others clothes off and soon I am left in my briefs while she is
naked. Her pussy is perfectly shaved, I like that. I rub her clit
and her breathing increases with her moans. I work her folds
and she's soaked, perfect! I work her folds and then slid a finger
making her gasp in my mouth. I finger her until her walls clench
around my finger and her back archs indicating a massive
explosion. I remove my finger, take off my boxers, slip on a
condom, pin her hands down while kissing her and slowly slide
in making her breath hitch. I'm gifted down there that's for
sure. I start of slowly watching her gasp with every stroke, her
moans are my motivation to keep going. She's perfect, I
increase my pace while rubbing her clit and she can't help but
call out my name. I love that she's enjoying this as much as I
am, I feel her centre clamp around me and flip us over so she's
on top. She places her hands on my chest and ride me slowly at
first, she's so good I don't think I can hold myself. Mbali knows
what to do on top, she bends down to kiss me and twerks on
my D, I spank her in between groaning as she moans. Her pace
is fast and I can feel myself about to release so we switch to
doggy. Sex with Mbali is the kind I've only ever experienced by
watching porn. Not even my girlfriend moved like this in bed.
We go at it until we both release and I collapse on top of her.
We both trying to catch our breaths panting like dogs
"That was intense"
I say trying to catch my breath.
"Yeah it was"
She says trying to catch her breath
"Am I wrong to still want you?"
She chuckles still out of breath
"I need water first"
I chuckle and pull out slowly and dispose of the condom then
wear my gown to go get us water. Mbali has the kind of sex
that make you wanna cuff her so no guy can ever get to
experience it.
"So where did you learn to move like that?"
I ask handing her a water bottle, she shrugs
"Watching porn and having overly informed friends"
She says, I chuckle
"You sure know how to ride a nigga. You gotta open a sex
school"
She laughs almost spitting out her water
"Shut up and let me drink in peace"
She says, I let her be. She closes the bottle and places it on the
table near my bed.
I kneel in front of her between her legs then kiss her lips while
fingering her, she starts panting and breathing heavily
"Gugu"
She moans
"Yes Flower"
I say working her folds, she's so wet and ready
"Fuck you so wet"
I compliment with my nature pounding really hard. I slip on
another condom and then pull her to me, I sit up so she can sit
on top of me and ride me again. I caress her perfectly shaped
boobs and slip a tittie on my mouth while she's bouncing up
and down on me. I'm groaning with how good she is. I flip us
over so I'm on top, I place her legs on my shoulders and go
deeper making her gasp, her eyes roll back as she moans my
name. I'm content. We work our until we both release and I pull
out. I wipe her clean and dispose of the condom then join her
pulling her to my chest
"I don't think friends cuddle"
She points out trying to catch her breath
"So what are you suggesting?"
I ask. I want to cuddle her, maybe if she were random I
wouldn't but she's different.
She shrugs
"I guess this is fine"
She says playing with my dick and balls
"If you don't want to go again you better stop that"
I warn and she giggles removing her hand, my hand is sliding up
and down her arm, she yawns
"I should go to my room"
She says
"Or you can sleep here"
I suggest. I enjoy having her here, its not just sex. I don't know
what it is yet.
"Its such things that make people catch feels"
She points out and we both laugh
"I'm still a gentleman, I ain't goin treat you like a walking vagina
now"
I say, she doesn't respond. I let things be. I cuddle her until her
breathing is normal and she's fast asleep.
I slid out of bed to get rid of the used condoms taking my
phone with me
I call Sakhile seeing that I have missed calls from him
"Cuz"
He answers
"Hey, everything OK?"
I ask
"Yeah everything is fine, I'm with Bulo and Sebe is with Sabelo"
I nod
"Ok cuz, see you tomorrow I guess"
"Bye"
He says dropping the call. I should focus on Mbali and let Sebe
go for my own sanity.
I go back to bed and pull Mbali close to me and fall asleep.
"Sebe you my girlfriend! You can't keep denying me sex"
He says and Sebe chuckles in disbelief
"You not entitled to me, girlfriend or not!"
She says sounding pissed to the core
"I've waited long enough for you Sebentile or would you prefer
I keep getting it elsewhere?"
He says yanking her arm. Sebe is fuming. When a girl laughs
during an argument just know you've pissed her off to the core
"I'll pretend you did not just say that"
She yanks her arm and walks towards the door, she's about to
open when he pulls her so hard she bumps into his chest
"You not leaving here"
He says angrily with his grip tight on her arm
"Sabelo let go of me you drunk!"
She says in Swati, she's been speaking her mother tongue this
whole time. When you really pissed English ain't shiit!
I wake up sweating and breathing heavily. What just happened?
What kind of dream did I just have?
.
.
-SEBENTILE
°
°I was in a black mini dress with white stripes on the edges
showing my legs, white kicks then topped it up with a black
summer jacket, Bulo in black jeggings hugging her assets and a
black t-shirt with white stripes on the edges also. I don't know
who told who to wear black it just happened, Khumo wore a
blue denim with a black turtleneck that's open on the front
showing a bit of boobs. Well the party wasn't what I expected it
was rather full, when the guy said young something I expected
like maybe 15 people or less kantsi.
"Ladies welcome to 704"
Lucky says opening the door for us, giving each of us hugs
"Drinks are in the kitchen, go mingle"
This one is a ladies man I see. We go to the kitchen for drinks
and I settle for cold water since there's no non alcoholic
beverages, I spot some slay queens here and there, some skrr
skrr guys and their girls. Some guys come to greet us and they
are all over us but in a good way and they are definitely great
company.
"Slow down babes"
I say to Bulo who's drinking her life away right now
"Don't"
She says downing her Bulgravia or whatever they call it
"He's turned you into a drunkard kanjalo? Hhay Nonjabulo
wenta ngatsi Sakhile umitsisile nobe uyoshada" (No Nonjabulo
you make it seem like Sakhile made someone pregnant or he's
getting married)
I try taking her can away she quickly yanks
"Don't kill my vibe tu"
I'm about to say something when I notice some familiar faces
walking towards us, I know I'm not drunk and this is definitely
Sakhile and Sabelo. What are they doing here. Sabelo comes to
hug me and Khumo, Sakhile takes Bulo's can it puts it on the
table.
"Sowuyanatsa wena?" (You drink alcohol now?)
The tone he is using anyone can hear he's pissed, my dear
friend to pout and not say anything
"Nonjabulo sowuyadzakwa wena nyalo?" (Nonjabulo you are a
drunkard now?)
Now this conversation I don't want to be part of
"Let's give them space guys"
I say to Sabelo and Khumo, we move away from them to a free
space
"Why didn't you tell me you coming here?"
These two were sent by the devil to ruin our night stru
"Khumo this is my... My b..."
I clear my throat
"This is my boyfriend Sabelo. Sabelo this is Khumo my
flatmate"
That was the longest sentence I've ever said.
"Girl we friends now, nice to meet you Sabelo. And that's my
que"
"Where are you going"
I quickly ask she cannot leave me alone with him I'd rather
watch rugby
"To find a man obviously, don't leave without me"
She kisses my cheek then disappears into the crowd she's such
a free soul
"I asked you a question Sebe"
Sabelo says as soon as Khumo is out of sight. I sigh
"And why didn't you tell me you coming"
There's some intense staring before he speaks
"Ohh right I was suppose to call you"
But you were too busy chasing skirts you forgot. My mind says
"Sorry my love I'll make it up to you"
I did say he was sent to ruin my night
"Yeah right"
He squints his eyes
"I said I'm sorry babe"
I sight
"I really don't want to do this not tonight Sabelo"
He's frustrating me, the very frustration I came here running
away from.
"If not tonight then when Sebe? Cause you avoiding me it's like
you still angry"
This guy
"Of course I'm still angry. Which sane person would be okay
with their boyfriend having casual sex and then claim to love
you?"
He runs his hands though his hair
"Babe, I know I'm a jerk and I've hurt you but angitsi sitsite
sicala kabusha. Ngiyati ngekhe kube lula kodvwa ngiyakucela
sitame" (I know it won't be easy but I beg you try)
I don't what I was doing in the first place dating Sabelo cause I
see it's crowding me and giving him a second chance was worse
than all, damn you Gugu damn you. At this rate I don't see us
being in a relationship as much as it's all about fate and stuff it's
now more complicated I mean Mbali likes Gugu and she's a
good girl and I did realize that she was actually seeking
permission to date Gugu, Gosh my life is such a mess.
"Can we just enjoy the vibe and stop this depressing talk?"
He opens his mouth then sighs
"I'm leaving tomorrow Sebentile"
"That's still like 12 hours away so"
He takes my hand
"Don't leave me side please"
He pleads
"Hawu Sabelo"
He makes a puppy face, I chuckle
"Ain't like I've got somewhere to be"
He smiles like a retard
"And no Sebe let's talk neh?"
He nods
"Yes ma'am"
He puts his arm around my shoulder and we go to the guys we
were with earlier, I look around for Bulo and I see them all over
each other, Love birds.
27
-GUGULEZWE
I slide out of bed careful not to wake Mbali up. I take my phone
and make my out of the room to the passage. I call Sebe hoping
and praying she answers my call, you never know with her. It
rings for a while and she answers, I sigh with relief
“Cuddles”
I say almost half happy she answered
“Hello”
She says coldly. OUCH!
“Cuddles are you ok?”
I ask
“Yes I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be”
She asks with a bit of attitude in her tone, knowing her she’s
probably mad at me over what happened earlier. It has to be
this way. She needs to understand
“Just making sure you ok. Did Sakhile find you”
She keeps quiet for a while
“Oh so you the one that called them Why would you call them
here”
She asks sounding annoyed, you’d think she’d be happy her
boyfriend came to see her. I don’t think I’ll ever understand
Sebentile!
“It was the only way to make sure you safe. Better not drink
Sebe and take care of yourself. Goodnight Cuddles.”
I say dropping the call before she responds and blows off at me.
I’m about to head to my room when I bump into my flatmate. I
breathe out with relief
“Dude you scared me”
I point out but he doesn’t respond
“You running out of time”
He says, I look at him confused
“The more time she spends with him the more her life is in
danger”
He warns, wild guess is that he’s talking about Sebe. Why does
my life have to revolve around her
“What am I supposed to do her She doesn’t want me like that”
I point out annoyed
“She needs you Gugu. Stop being stubborn and be with her
before damage is done”
He warns and then collapses. I kneel beside him and try waking
him up until his eyes shoot open
“What happened How did I end up here”
He asks, I fall to my butt and watch him confused
“You don’t know what happened”
He shakes his head no. I’m so lost I don’t even know how to
explain what just happened
“You were sleep walking”
He looks at me for a while
“That hasn’t happened since my father died”
He says, I look at him. What’s his point
“I’m so sorry to hear that”
I say sympathetically
“It’s ok, it’s just strange that’s all. It’s not something that
happens anymore. My father used to see things, he used to
have dreams and I used to help him with them but ever since
he died I haven’t sleepwalked since. Hence I’m confused. I
mean why now Did I say something to you”
He asks and I shake my head no. I mean if he doesn’t remember
then why should I scare him off I’m as complicated already.
“I’m sorry I scared you”
He says getting up and I get up too
“Don’t worry about it, shiit happens”
I assure and go drink water before returning to my room, Mbali
is still as out as I’d left her. I get in and pull her to me and sleep.
I can’t help but think about all the events that just occurred,
how could Sebe be in danger Of all things, a rapist I doubt
Sabelo would go that far. Drunk or not. I try to sleep but every
time I close my eyes I see the terror in Sebe’s eyes when Sabelo
throws her to the bed and climbs on top of her, she’s scared,
her fear haunts me. What is it that I’m supposed to do How am
I supposed to intervene and stop whatever that is from
happening
I decide to take my phone and text Sebe
“You and I need to talk first thing tomorrow”
I hit send and place my phone on the table and wait, its
pointless trying to sleep because I cant seem to sleep. The
thought of hurting Mbali the same way Sabelo hurt her doesn’t
sit well with me. Yeah sure I knew that it might come to that
but I didn’t think it would happen this soon. I sigh at how my
life has taken a turn for the worse. The sun rises and Mbali
wakes up and smiles, I smile down at her. Do I tell her or do I
just let things be How do I even explain everything to her God
she’s going to think I used her for sex.
“Morning”
She says
“Morning Flower Child”
I say kissing her and she gladly responds. A kiss leads to another
make out session. We go and shower when we done we lotion
and go out for breakfast. Sebe hasn’t responded to my
message, I wonder what the deal is with her now. We have
breakfast and then I accompany her to her res and then I make
my way to Sebe’s room hoping and praying she’s at her place. I
breathe in and out before knocking on the door.
“Hey”
Says a cute girl
“hi, I’m looking for Sebe. I’m Gugu”
She smiles
“I’m Khumo, I’ll go check if she’s around”
She says and leaves me by the door. I’m crossing my fingers
that she’s home and actually wants to see me. You never know
with her.
.
.
-SEBENTILE
°
°
Sabelo ended up saying he'll be leaving Saturday or Sunday he'll
see and it's still Wednesday imagine. I roll out of bed and head
to the bathroom to brush my teeth when I return Bulo is
already up.
"Love"
I say
"Morning"
She groans
"Hangover?"
She shakes her head
"Nah
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Sakhile's arrival saved me from it"
I nod
"Talking of him, did you guys talk things out?"
We both sit on the bed since she's done making it
"Yeah we talked, I haven't forgiven him yet but he did make me
understand that we don't need to be in the same area for our
relationship to work"
I laugh
"It's what I've been trying to tell you all along kodvwa as always
you have to be stubborn"
She rolls her eyes
"I'm not stubborn"
This time I roll my eyes
"I'm not"
"Then why haven't you forgiven him?"
She hits her head
"You so slow my friend, he needs to make an effort for me to
forgive him. He can't just say babe I'm sorry and all is forgiven
hhay it doesn't work like that. On top of everything he
apologized at a party? Mina I want him to take me out even for
ice cream then apologize"
I laugh
"She's stubborn and dramatic"
"Rather, Sakhile ujayele letidzandzane lebeka tsandzana nato
kutsi tiyambeketelela nobe enta emanyala."(Sakhile is used to
the girls he used to date, he messes up and they hold on)
When she speaks Swati it's real
“Wena na Sabelo? Are you back together? "
She asks
"Sort of"
I haven't told her about Mbali's visit or what happened that
day. She frowns her eyebrows
"We got back together"
She gives me the what look
"Hhay Sebe, thought you said you done with it"
I sigh
"I am, I was...Iesh it's complicated"
"Uncomplicate it then"
I get up
"I only got back with him to spite Gugu"
"Him again and did it work?"
I shrug
"I don't think so, I thought he and Mbali are dating kantsi lutfo.
Nyalo ngiyatisola but akusenani ngobe I gave Mbali permission
to date him"
She chuckles
"You are something else, how can you let another girl date the
guy you want? No scratch that your mate?"
I shrug
"He called last night"
"Who called?"
"Gugu"
"He's the who told Sakhile and Sabelo where we were"
She clicks her tongue
"How did he know?"
I shrug
"Probably heard from Mbali. But that's not the reason he
called, he called because he wanted to check if I'm okay and
told me not to drink and be safe"
"Now I'm confused"
She says
"Makes the two of us, one minute he's into me all over me then
he's busy with Mbali I don't know anymore."
"You have one complicated love life"
I laugh
"Tell me about it. Please pass me my phone"
I check my notification bar and there's a message from Gugu,
I'm about to read it when there's a knock on the door.
"Mogurl there's a guy here to see you"
Khumo says peeping in
"Who?"
She shrugs
"I'm coming"
She nods then close the door, I put on my sleepers and head
out. I find Gugu sitting in the kitchen
"HI"
I say surprised, what's he doing here so early or maybe it has to
do with the message
"Hey, did you get my message"
I figured
"I just saw it but haven't read it, what's up?"
He looks stressed out
"Sit down we need to talk"
He says all serious
"I'll stand thank you"
I say folding my arms
"Sebe stop being stubborn and sit down"
He half shouts, my eyes pop out
"I'm sorry cuddles, can you please sit"
He is more calm, I grab a chair and sit a distance from him. He
pulls the chair to him and holds my hands. See what I mean?
Gugu confuses me just yesterday he was all over Mbali now
he's here and making me hella uncomfortable I mean the
distance between us is way too close for my liking.
"Why did you get back with Sabelo Sebe I thought you were
done with him?"
Can't I get a break
"How's that any of your business?"
I say
"You know very well that I care deeply about you and want
what's best for you"
I chuckle
"And you are what's best? Gugu we've been here before"
He's told me that Sabelo isn't good for me
"I'm not saying that but you know our situation Sebe and it's
way beyond us we can't control it"
I sigh
"Gugu again we've talked about this and we agreed on going
our separate ways, I don't understand why you here now?"
He releases a heavy sigh stands up and goes to the window, he
stands there for a few seconds.
"I need you to break up with Sabelo"
28
-GUGULEZWE
I have met stubborn girls but ay! Hands down! Sebe takes the
crown. I knew this conversation would be harder, scratch that.
Difficult. Cuddles likes to make things difficult all because she
can. I'm even scared to see her reaction to my request, I don't
even want to imagine what she must be thinking
"You have got to be kidding me Gugulezwe!"
She says with evident anger in her voice, I turn and she's on her
feet
"I'm not your puppet who you get to control. You don't get to
tell me who I can and cannot date, you don't see me interfering
between you and Mbali so let Sabelo and my relationship be!"
She says mixing Swati in between, now I know how pissed she
is
"You have some nerve!"
I chuckle knowing it will annoy her
"So you got back with the guy to spite me?"
I say with a smirk which gets to her
"Oh cuddles"
I say caressing her cheek and she moves back
"Don't you dare touch me with those hands"
I chuckle
"Oh but you loved what these hands did on new year on my
bed. I still have your underwear by the way"
She moves uncomfortably. I love the effect I have on my sweet
innocent cuddles, its cute that I can turn her on with just words
"I like that your body reacts to my words"
She glares at me, how I wish I knew what she's thinking right
now
"Gugu leave"
She says walking towards the door but I grab her wrist and pull
her to me she lands on my chest. She looks up, eyes so
innocent and cute, lips so plump
"Cuddles the more you stay with him the more he has the
potential to hurt you."
I put my hand on her cheek and this time she leans in on my
touch
"I'd hate myself if he ever hurt you and I wasn't there to protect
you. Please cuddles, break things off with him for your own
safety"
I plead looking deep into her sparkly eyes. I mean every word.
She sighs
"And then what happens?"
She asks, I'm not sure I understand her question
"Gugu I break up with Sabelo, what happens after? You with
Mbali remember?"
She says pulling away from me, her jealousy is adorable
"I can't just break it off with Mbali"
She rolls her eyes
"I'm supposed to break up with my boyfriend while you stay
with your girlfriend? Wow!"
She says angrily. I sigh, if only it were that easy. How do I
explain it to Mbali without becoming another Sabelo?
"I can't just end things with Mbali all because you suddenly
single. Things are bad as they are Sebe, she knows how I feel
about you but still she let herself be with me anyway because I
promised I wouldn't be another Sabelo to her. She's human
after all and history repeating itself would only break her"
She thinks for a second
"You nothing but a distraction I don't need Gugu. Please just
leave"
Her stubbornness makes me clench my fists.
"Sabelo is not right for you. I'd even prefer you dating these
campus jerks over him. Just end things before it's too late"
I say, kiss her cheek and walk out. I've said my piece, its all in
her hands now. She can listen to me or not, I don't care. Our
conversation left me pissed. I call Sakhile who decided to book
a room in a bnb not far from campus. He tells me to come over.
"Where's your friend?"
I ask walking in the room
"He has his own room. What's got you in the mood?"
He asks
"Didn't Mbali do you this morning?"
I throw a pillow at him
"Its Sebe"
He sighs loud enough
"What's the deal there? You and Sabelo sharing?"
I glare at him, if we weren't related I'd kick his ass
"If only looks could kill"
He says with an annoying smirk
"I had this dream about Sebe and Sabelo. It was disturbing"
He looks at me
"You worked up over a dream?"
I shrug with a nod
"So what's the dream about?"
I sigh
"He was drunk and about to rape her. That's not even the weird
part, my flatmate sleepwalks and he warned me that the longer
she stays with him the more she might get hurt by him"
His eyes pop, he's as shocked
"Damn cuz!"
That's all he can say
"You fix things with Bulo?"
I ask trying to distract myself
"Sort of"
I look at him waiting for an elaboration
"She's still mad, yeah sure we talked and were cosy last night
but today she's cold again"
He explains, I chuckle
"You tried taking her to breakfast or lunch with roses and
chocolates?"
He looks at me
"I must buy flowers that will sit in her room and dry up?"
I chuckle
"Yes"
He shakes his head no
"That's a waste of money"
I chuckle
"Then have this room set up for an indoor picnic"
I suggest
"And then tomorrow I must clean this room"
I laugh
"There's people for the cleaning"
I remind. He says no
"If I start doing these things she won't stop being mad over
petty things and then she'll expect all that romantic shiit"
.
.
-SEBENTILE
"Sebe! Sebentile!!"
The voice sounds so far
"Huh? "
I reply raising my eyes, it's both Khumo and Bulo
"I've been calling you for the past ten minutes"
Bulo says
"Bowutsini?" (You were saying? "
She's looking at me like I'm sick
"Are you okay?"
Khumo jumps in, I nod
"What did you and Gugu talk about?"
I look up at her if it was up to me his name wouldn't be
mentioned right now
"I'd rather not talk about it"
I say dismissing her
"Babe"
She begs
"Ngitsite angifuni kukhuluma ngakho" (I said I don't want to talk
about it)
I snap
"Excuse me for caring"
Bulo says walking away, Khumo is not in sight anymore
"Njabulo yami"
I say, she doesn't turn but stops walking
"Ncesi" (I'm sorry)
It's not her fault really it's that jerk Gugu
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he's so selfish so I need to break up with my boyfriend and he
gets to be with his girlfriend. Is he trying to make me his second
best?
"You doing it again"
She says
"Doing what?"
I ask
"Zoning out on me"
She says grabbing a chair
"Talk to me"
I sigh
"He wants me to break up with Sabelo"
I blurt out
"What? Is he out of his mind?"
This is messed up
"Utsi it's for my safety"
It's even hard to utter these words
"What safety? What is he trying to say?"
I get up
"I need a bath"
I drag myself to the bathroom and open the water making sure
it's hot I need it right now. I strip naked then get in, I close my
eyes allowing the water to do it's job.
"Ngiyati kumatima Sebentile mtfwanami kodva sekutolunga" (I
know it's hard Sebentile my child but it's going to be better)
That's Togo Twana's voice I look around but I don't see her
"Gogo"
I respond
"Angeke tonkhe timpendvulo tivele nyalo kodvwa yenta lokhu
Gugulezwe akutjela kona" (You won't get all the answers
immediately but do what Gugulezwe says)
One would swear my grandmother would visit me
congratulating me on passing matric and making to Varsity,
saying she's proud of me but no it has to be about Gugu
"Njani Twana? I won't settle for second for second best"
I say
"Ucalile ngalesilumbi sakho. Yekela inkhani Sebe ulalele, Gogo
uyakutsandza futhi uyatigcabha ngawe" (You've started with
your English. Don't being stubborn Sebe and listen, Grandma
loves you and is proud of you)
Tears make their way out
"Twana. Twana"
I call out but I can feel she's not here, I cry. I don't know if I'm
crying because I miss her or because being me is so hard right
now. After a life time, I get out the water and rinse myself then
go to my room. Bulo and Khumo are laying on my bed talking.
"Why don't you just move in?"
She laughs
"No thank you lala I want you to miss me"
She says and I laugh
"That time you are always here"
I say
"That's because yo went to Gogo kawosi"
I crack up, Gogo kawosi is a local sangoma who's very popular
especially for bringing back lost lovers and keeping your person
only to yourself.
"You wish, go take a bath"
I say sitting on the bed lotioning
"Now I smell?"
I laugh
"Then you say I went to Gogo kawosi"
She laughs walking out and my phone rings it's Sabelo, I take a
deep breath in
"Hey"
I answer
"Sthandvwa Sami"
If it was Gugu saying this I would be melting or if it was a month
back
"You good?"
I say trying to get him to get to the point
"Yeah, can we go out for lunch?"
Lord
"Sure, what time?"
He keeps quiet
"I'll fetch you at 1"
I glance at my watch it's a few minutes after 12.
"Okay see you then"
I say
"I love you"
He says, I don't know what to say so I just hang up. I look for
something to wear and Khumo helps me after I tell her where
I'm going, so I'm in a Jean, long sleeved shirt tucked in on the
side on the front with flat sandals.
"So Khumo where's home?"
We haven't really talked since I moved in
"Ke go Rustenburg" (It's in Rustenburg)
There's that language, it's not that I can't hear it watching a lot
of TV helps I understand a few things here and there but I can't
speak it.
"Why Pretoria?"
I for one know why I just Pretoria, it's far from home.
"I heard that Pretoria's club life is the ish so ke batla hoe bona"
(I want to see it)
I laugh
"Out of all the things, club life? Wow"
She's also laughing
"Your turn"
She says
"We from Nhlazatshe and I chose Pretoria cause it called me"
She looks confused
"I don't know how to explain it but I was drawn to it during our
school visits to here"
She nods. My phone beeps it's Sabelo saying he's outside
"Tell Bulo I went to Sabelo, I'll see her later"
I take my phone and some cash just in case and head out. I
bump into Lucky in the elevator, remember the guy who invited
us to 704 yep him and we talk a little unto I get off. I find Sabelo
leaning against a white Audi A3 with a can of Windhoek in his
hand, I'm tempted to ask where he got this car but decide
against it. He gives me a hug thn then opens the door for me
before going to his side.
"We'll go to Rocco Mommas then chill at my flat, is that cool?"
I nod
"Okay, let's start by Tops I want to fill up"
I look at him
"Why are you drinking? It's the middle of the week Sabelo"
He eyes me then looks at the road again
"I'm distressing"
"Can't you distress without alcohol?"
I hate alcohol but I don't mind people drinking it, right now I'm
worried about safety the way this car is speeding, worse he's
under the influence.We take a take away instead of sitting in at
Rocco Mommas then go to his flat, not really sure who it
belongs to but the one he's staying at. It's a nice
apartment,kitchen sitting room, bathroom and two bedrooms.
He says his flatmate is out since yesterday. He takes out plates
and dishes up for me yena he carries on with his drinking.
"Aren't you going to eat?"
I ask the tension is too much
"I'm not hungry"
He says dismissing me
"Sabelo..."
He cuts me off
"Don't"
Hhaybo the guy calls me here then decides to be moody and
rude? Lord why do you give me such complicated guys?
29
-GUGULEZWE
"So indoor picnic it is?"
I ask and he nods rolling his eyes, I laugh at how dramatic he is.
My cousin is something else!
"You gonna thank me one day"
I say and he glares
"Yazi Nonjabulo is lucky I love her. I would have never done this
for a girl, ever! There's something about her you know?
Something just draws me to her for some stupid reason"
He says sounding pissed or maybe that's love in his voice but I
can't really pin point cause I'm not used to this side of him
"You just said you love her"
I chuckle pointing it out. We at the mall buying a couple of
things he's going to need. He takes out his phone and calls her
"My Angel"
He says, he's smiling. Yazi o'Sakhile know how to relationship
more than I do and I've been doing it longer than him
"I'll fetch you in an hour or so?"
He nods
"See you soon babe"
He says and waits then drop the call.
"Look at you smiling"
I say he punches me lightly
"Shut up!"
His phone rings, there's calls he's been ignoring
"Thuso what?"
He says annoyed
"When I don't answer it means I don't want to be bothered"
He says, he stops and listens for quite a while
"I'm going to kill him!"
He mumbles but listens again, he's tense AF! When he finally
drops the call he's fuming. He doesn't even pay for the things
but walks straight out
"Sakhile zishapi?" (What's going on?)
I ask following behind him
"Yazi I'm going to kill Sabelo!"
He says angrily walking towards his car
"What's he done?"
I ask getting in beside him
"Thuso called, the whole gang's been calling actually. Did he not
just start war with one of our strongest enemies zaseJozi?"
He says clutching the steering wheel his knuckles are almost
white. He takes out his other phone
"He's going to know me today! A fucking Audi?"
I look at him confused
"He stole a car from the wrong people."
He says and then punches something on his phone, judging by
the curses Sabelo is not answering
"God i swear I'm going to kill him! Matter of fact I'll hand him
over so they can deal with his ass!"
He says hitting the wheel. He calls Stix and after a while Stix
answers
"Exe"
"Find Sabelo for me now!"
He grants angrily
"Sho boss"
He drops the call. We drive to the bnb and he parks calling Bulo,
she's on loud speaker connected to the Bluetooth of the car
"My Angel"
His voice is suddenly soft
"Hey baby"
He sighs loudly
"Babe something came up"
He starts off and you can hear Bulo mumble something
"Babe please, I wouldn't cancel if it wasn't important"
"So I'm the one that's not important"
She asks
"Babe you know you are but this is life or death"
He tries to explain but Bulo won't hear any of it
"Babe listen I have to go. I'll make it up to you Ok. I love you"
He says dropping the call on her while she's cursing and
shouting. Wait, did he just say he loves her?
"Stix"
He answers in his commanding voice
"I texted you an address, it's a flat owned by that guy Kumkani
or something"
He says, Sakhile checks his other phone
"Sho boi"
He drops the call. Sakhile types the address on his GPS and
drives off.
You know that feeling you get when something bad is about to
happen? I've been feeling like that since morning but I shrugged
it off as though it was caused by the dream. Something tells me
to call Sebe just to check in but I doubt she'll answer cause she
was really pissed when I left. I listen to the phone ring and soon
its cut off like she clicked decline. I'm shocked by this behavior,
I'm no saint and I piss her off a lot but she always answers my
calls. I try again but this time it goes straight to voicemail
"I need to go back to res, something's not right"
I say to Sakhile who is flying to this place on the GPS, we very
far from res now
"When we reach there you can request an uber, I'll pay"
I shake my head no
"Nah don't worry about it, take care of this"
I say. We drive for a while until we pull up in front of a block of
flats, Sakhile parks right next to a white Audi with a customized
number plate.
"I'll check you later"
He says as we both get off. I take a walk out of the complex, I'm
about to reach the gate when I collapse. I hear shouting and
screaming, the scream is loud and painful that I block my ears
but it doesn't stop
"You Ok?"
A voice says bringing me back. I look around me and see a Sebe
in tears but she quickly disappears. What the hell is going on
with me? I sit up but the screams haven't stopped. I nod
"I'm fine, I tripped that's all"
I assure trying to get up but with failure. What's happening with
me? My phone rings, this guy is still looking at me worried
"Gugu honey"
Moms voice comes on as soon as I answer, she's worried
"Gugu she needs you. Now!"
She says, not this again!
"I'm going back to school to check on her"
I assure trying to get up but still fail
"Oh baby hurry"
She says and ends the call. I hand the guy my hand to help me
up and he does pulling me up and finally I'm on my feet but I'm
dizzy, he pulls me to sit down and hands me water
"Will you be fine?"
He asks, I nod
"Thanks"
I say gulping down the water at one go. I finally get up and walk
back to Sakhile's car cause seemingly life doesn't want me to
leave on my own, I try call him to find out the flat he's in but it
rings unanswered. I'm about to call Stix when I spot Sebe
walking towards Sakhile's car trembling in fear with tears in her
eyes
"Cuddles?"
I literally run to her and pull her to me, she just cries
.
.
-SEBENTILE
Sabelo has been in mood since and I wonder why did he fetch
me when he knew he'd behav like a man who's lost millions. I
have my head on his shoulder and we watching Superfly, I'm
not a fan of action movies but I do watch them when I have
someone to watch it with and also there's Trevor Jackson and
he looks yummy as always not to mention his voice oh and his
swag.
"Are you enjoying the movie"
Sabelo asks
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it's the only decent thing he's said since I got here
"Yah it's okay"
He nods then contiues watching
"Entlek why am I here?"
I ask
"What do you mean?"
Is he really pretending as if he doesn't know
"Sabelo this is the first time since we started dating that we are
actually spending time together and wena you in a mood? I
should have stayed in my flat moc"
I say shifting from his shoulder
"I know and I'm sorry"
I click my tongue
"That's all you know Sabelo saying sorry, it's starting to irritate
me now"
He sighs
"I know it's just that my mind is all over right now, aksies"
I roll my eyes
"Listen babe I'll try, what do you want us to do?"
Yati lo ugcwele kudlala(he's full of games)
"We watching a movie aren't we?"
I say irritated, he raises his hands in surrender and we continue
watching the movie. His phone keeps on ringing and he ignores
it
"Are you going to get that?"
Probably one of his sides
"It's no one important"
I look at him
"Then why do they keep on calling?"
He keeps quiet and it rings again. He looks at me then switches
it off and I chuckle,he continues downing the alcohol like
nobody's business. The movie ends and I take my phone from
the coffee table.
"I'm leaving"
I say standing up, he gets up so quick you'd swear there are
thorns in the couch
"Don't leave yet please"
He begs
"Sabelo I've been here for more than two hours but you've
barely said two words to me nyalo ufuna ngihlale
ngingahambi?"
I chuckle bitterly
"Come here"
He pulls me closer and starts kissing me, I respond after a while
and let him lead the way. His hands squeeze my butt and a
moan escapes my mouth and I feel him smile not letting go of
my lips. He tries starts unbuttoning my shirt and I stop him, he
groans
"What?"
He says after I broke the kiss also
"I'm not ready"
He laughs
"You not ready?What does that mean Sebe?"
He says getting close, his voice isn't calm
"Exactly that, I'm not ready"
I say backing away he's way too close and the breath of alcohol
is getting to me.
"Sebe you my girlfriend! You can't keep denying me sex"
He says and I chuckle in disbelief
"You not entitled to me, girlfriend or not!"
I say pissed to the core, who does he think he is
"I've waited long enough for you Sebentile or would you prefer
I keep getting it elsewhere?"
He says yanking my arm. I laugh
"Ngitokwenta ngatsi awukushongo lokho"(I'll pretend you did
not just say that)
I yank my arm walking towards the door,I'm fuming he's just
like the rest of them. I'm about to open the door when he pulls
my arm so hard I hit his chest
"You not leaving here"
He says angrily tightening his grip on my arm so much so I
swear it'll leave a red mark
"Sabelo ngiyekele udzakiwe! "(Sabelo let go of me, you drink!)
Did he listen? No. He picks me up forcefully and throws me on
the couch
"Sabelo ngiyakuncenga ungayenti lentfo lofuna
kuyenta"(Sabelo please don't do this)
I beg but he pulls my pants down while kissing my neck, I push
him away but he's too strong, he holds my hands together
above my head with his one hand while the other plays with my
clit, I'm suppose to be enjoying this moment but how when it's
forced on me?
"Sabelo please"
I beg with my voice barely coming out
"It'll only take a few minutes my love"
He says and right now I despise the sound of his voice, his
breath on my neck makes me want to vomit, my voice has gave
up on me
"Sabelo suka" (Sabelo get off of me)
I beg my voice is now hoarse and I'm slowing losing it, he
unbuckles his belt and pulls down his boxers.
"Sabelo"
I cry out loud and the door bursts open
"What's going on here? Sabelo!"
The person says and I no longer feel the weight on me, open my
eyes and see Sakhile beating Sabelo to a pulp,when Sabelo is
down he comes to me.
"Sebe are you okay"
He says with concern visible in his voice, I'm a crying mess
"Here, go to my car I'll find you there"
He helps me up and helps me get dressed, if was any other day
I'd be embarrassed by this act. He leads me to the door then
closes it as soon as I'm out. I run like the devil is chasing me to
the car, my vision is blurry because of the tears but I don't stop
running. I regret coming here and not listening to Twana.
"Cuddles"
I'd have memory loss but I'd remember that voice anywhere, I
throw myself in his arms and a loud sob breaks out
"What's wrong? What happened? Cuddles talk to me"
He's brushing my back and instead of it soothing me it makes
everything worse. He realizes I won't say anything and opens
the car's back seat and helps me in, he gets in and pulls me to
him
"Shh, it'll be fine cuddles. I swear I'll find whoever did this to
you and break them into pieces. I promise you"
He sounds so sincere only if he knew its the very same person
he told me to stay away from, I'm pretty sure he'll say he told
me so. I hear the car starting I want to look but Gugu has his
hold so tight I can't move.
"And then?"
Gugu asks
"We going to the hospital"
Sakhile says dismissing him
30
-GUGULEZWE
It all makes sense why I couldn't leave that place no matter
how hard I tried. I should have known. I mean mom told me to
save her. Why did I think I'd find her at res? Sabelo better pray
he doesn't run into me else I will kill him! My chest is heaving,
I'm pissed to the core but my main priority right now is making
sure that cuddled is Ok. I can feel her breathing slowly calming
and her heart rate decreasing. How could Sabelo hurt such a
delicate person?
Many would tell Sebe that I'd warned her but I'm not many. 'I
told you so' is not my thing. Sebe deserves better, she got burnt
on her own and she learnt her lesson. Maybe I should start
paying attention to these dreams if I want to keep cuddles safe.
I sigh, we too young for all this drama. I'm in varsity, I should be
fucking my way through here but instead I'm forced to focus on
one girl. No one has said a word to each other ever since he
said we going to the hospital.
My phone rings startling Sebe, I take it out and it's Mbali, I
decline the call and put my phone on silent. She and I will talk
later. When I end things. The car stops and we parked in front
of a hospital.
"Come let's go cuddles"
I say brushing her head, she pulls away from me and her
beautiful face is stained with tears and that alone angers me.
Sabelo is going to pay
"He didn't get that far. I just want to go home and forget"
She says, I look at her. Forget?
"Sebe we need to make sure you Ok"
Sakhile argues
"Please just drive me to res Sakhile"
She pleads with her voice almost failing her. I'm quiet, not
because I don't care but because I can't stand to see her like
this. I'm startled by someone talking and I realise its Sakhile's
call with Bulo
"No! I don't want to see you"
Bulo says angrily after Sakhile mentioned he's going to the
university
"Happiness yam please. Let me make it up to you"
She huffs loud enough and Sakhile sighs. Talk about nice life
problems.
"Please babe. Tomorrow"
"Why not today?"
She fires back, Sakhile eyes us from the mirror
"Cause your friend needs you more. See you when I get there"
He ends the call. I pull Sebe to my chest and she leans in not
saying a word. I kiss her head.
A while later we park in the school parking lot, I'm about to
open the door but I stop myself
"Cuddles will you be Ok to get out?"
I ask knowing the stares she'll be receiving. She's about to
speak when she shakes her head no. Sakhile offers me his
shades and I hand them to cuddles then we walk out to her res.
She opens the door and we go to her room.
"Cuddles I'm sorry"
I finally say, Sakhile went to Bulo's res
"Its not your fault. You told me to end things but I didn't listen
and this happened"
She says burying her face in her hands. I sit next to her and pull
her to me
"You need to rest"
I say, she shakes her head
"I need to shower and get him off of me"
She says the last part gritting her teeth.
"I'll come back later then"
I say letting go of her but she clings to me
"Please don't leave me"
She begs buried in my chest. I circle her
"I'm right here"
I say kissing her head.
"Go shower and I'll be here waiting Ok?"
I assure, she pulls away from me
"Thank you"
She takes her necessities and leaves. I sigh taking my phone out
of my pocket, Mbali left 3 missed calls. I call her
"Hello stranger"
She says
"Hey, sorry for dropping your call earlier, shiit went down and I
couldn't answer"
I say with a heavy sigh
"Everything Ok?"
She asks sounding concerned
"Can we meet up today later, we need to talk"
I say
"If you gonna dump me I'd rather you do it over the phone"
She says with a chuckle, I chuckle lightly. If only she knew
"So later it is?"
"Of cause. Bye"
She says ending the call. I breathe out and take my shoes off
making myself comfortable on cuddles bed. I'm talking to mom
on whatsapp about what happened today, all the events. She
calls me
"Honey it will all make sense"
She says after I've asked why me
"When mom? I can't keep living like this mom. My life sucks!"
She sighs
"I know baby but this is how things should be. With time
everything will be clear, just end things with the other girl"
I sigh. I don't need this
"Mom she's innocent in all of this"
I explain
"I know baby which is why she needs to be out of the picture"
She explains. I'm defeated
"And if I don't?"
She let's out a heavy breath
"Gugu stop being stubborn just this once, Sebe was stubborn
and look where that got her?"
I'm stunned by her tone. She's so stern and serious
"So what? There'll be hell to pay? Mom it makes no difference.
My relationship with Sebe will always be Love and War, there's
always going to be something or someone meddling or trying to
keep us apart"
She chuckles and its not a friendly chuckle
"Only if you allow it"
I sigh. This is complicated
"Mom as long as whatever force forces us together then we can
never work. I can't be with her out of obligation"
The door opens stopping me from continuing with my sentence
"I'll call you tomorrow mom"
I don't even wait for her response as I'm looking at the bruises
on her arms and wrists
"He did that to you?"
She nods. She's wearing a vest and sweatpants. This guy is
going to pay!
.
.
-SEBENTILE
After taking a bath I return to Gugu talking on the phone but he
quickly hangs up when he sees me, I know he was talking to
Mbali and I feel my heart sink it hurts. He gives me a faint smile
I try to return it but I can't instead the tears make a grand
entrance again. Why did Sabelo have to do this to me? What
was so bad that I did to him?
"Cuddles no
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don't do this to yourself?"
Gugu says pulling me to him
"What did I do to him ye? Am I that of a bad person for him to
do this to me? Or maybe I pushed him too hard.."
Gugu cuts me
"Don't put this on yourself no guy is entitled to yo, whether
they your man or not. Sabelo is a jerk and a coward for doing
this to you and I promise you what Sakhile did is nothing
compared to what I'll do when I find him"
He says the last part through gritted teeth
"Don't myeke he doesn't deserve your attention"
I say trying to calm him down, I'd hate for him to get hurt cause
of me
"Sebe I'd do everything I can to make sure you're protected and
safe, I feel like shit already cause I couldn't be there for you.."
I cut him off
"There was nothing you could've done munchie"
He's brushing my arm
"I get that but there's something I can do now, trust me cuddles
I'd do anything to make sure you never shed any tears of
heartbreak"
That melts my heart instantly, this right here feels like home.
Listening to his heartbeat beating in sync with mine is magical,
maybe this soul mate thing can work after all but he still has
Mbali so either way they'll always be something in our way. I
sigh
"What are you thinking about?"
He asks after hearing my sigh
"Nothing much, I should call Bulo"
I say freeing myself from his embrace and look for my phone,
the look he gives me wants me to throw myself in his arms
again and never let go
"Have you seen my phone? Ohh never mind"
I say after finding it
"I'm sure Sakhile had told her already"
Gugu says and I hear him from afar, I was about to dial Bulo
when I saw Sabelo's name on my call log and fresh tears make
their way out. The thought of him makes me feel so dirty and
unworthy not forgetting a fool. Gugu stands up to come to m
since I'm by the window but there's a knock at the door, we
about to answer but it bursts open and it's Bulo
"Sakhile told me something happened and I should rush here
immediately"
She doesn't even greet
"I'll give you space, I'll call you later"
I nod and he comes and engulfs me in a I'm here, I care and I'll
kill for you hug then kisses my forehead. Bulo is standing there
looking at everything, locks the door when Gugu leaves and
comes to me
"You were crying"
She says that in more like a statement than a question
"Talk to me"
I look at her and she looks blurry cause of the tears clouding my
eyes. Told you I'm a crier
"Yenteni lenja lengiSabelo?" (What has that dog Sabelo done? "
Had it been any other day I'd have told her to use a better
language but I agree with her Sabelo is a dog, a toothless
disgusting stray. I tell her the whole story and as I recite her
breathing pattern is changing and she's fuming
" Lomgodoyi lo! "(This bastard!)
She says in her ish has hit the fan tone
"Yati Sakhile umshaye kancane, uphi nyalo ngifuna kumkhomba
kutsi he messed with the wrong girl this time around" (Sakhile
did nothing on, where is he? I want to show him that he
messed with the wrong girl this time around)
I'm lucky to have to her
"There's ice cream in the fridge"
I say walking to the door
"I'll get it"
She gets that I'm done talking about this. She comes back with
the container and is followed by Khumo with spoons
"So nele nagana gore you'd have an ice cream party ke seto?"
(Ya'll thought you'd have an ice cream party without me, never"
She says throwing herself on the bed, she's such a happy soul
yati
"We wouldn't dare"
I say and she looks at me with a faint smile
"Go tla loka don't worry" (It'll be fine don't worry"
She says then takes a scoop of ice cream
"What do you mean?"
"I mean whatever it is that you going through"
She almost had me there I thought she knew what happened or
naye she has a gift phela it seems like everyone around me has
that gift of seeing things.
"I hope so too"
I say scooping some ice cream.
"Date ya gago e tsamaye sharp?" (How was your date?)
I cringe and tense up when the thought comes to mind, I do
breathing exercises
"Can we not talk about it?"
I say when I'm calm
"That bad huh?"
She says dismissing the topic and speaking about something
else, the 5l tub is almost finished that's how much the convo
was flowing I almost forgot about today until a text came
through in my phone.
"I'm sorry babe, can I come over so we can talk"
This is the devil's child I swear
"Who's that? Is it Sabelo?"
Bulo asks and I just nod cause I'm losing my breath
"Hhay Sebe don't do that breathe, hey look at me breath in...
Out... In... Out... Come one Bebe you can do it. Breath"
I try doing what she's saying but it makes it worse, I'm losing
touch with reality
"Stay with me love, Khumo here call Gugu"
That's the last thing I hear
31
-GUGULEZWE
I don't want to leave her like this especially with how talkative
her friend is. Sometimes when you hurting all you want is
comfort, a hug maybe but not someone who will be shouting
and going off about how much or trash the person that hurt
you is but ke Bulo is a good friend to Sebe I guess.
I knock on Mbali's door and she answers wearing a cute dress
I'm unable to think clearly. What am I doing here again?
She smiles as I admire her body, lost in it completely
"Hello to you too Gugu"
She says with a giggle, I clear my throat
"Hey Flower child"
I finally say, she moves aside
"Come in"
She invites me. I walk in and she offers me something to drink
and I gladly nod. I need air, she's too damn sexy! We head to
the lounge with me holding the glass of juice she poured me
"I need you"
I whisper, she turns to me and I shrug
"Everything Ok?"
I shake my head no, I put the drink down on the table
"You alone?"
I ask pulling her to me she's facing away from me. She nods yes
"She's visiting her boyfriend"
She gasps as I stroke her perky boobs, she presses her ass to my
manhood making me groan in her neck
"You said we needed to talk"
She whispers, her voice is hoarse, she's as horny as I am. I slide
my hand up her inner thighs and she parts her legs enough to
give me access
"Gugu"
She moans
"Later"
I say pushing her panty aside to dip a finger in. She's wet and
ready for me. I slip my finger inside her center making her gasp
my name softly. I slide my finger in and out of her as she moans
softly, she's about to come when I push her to the couch and
bend her over the arm rest. I need this, I need to forget today. I
failed Sebe, she deserves better than me. Someone who will
listen to whatever voices warn him. I'm brought back by Mbali
screaming as I've entered her without warning, mercilessly. I
bend down and kiss her shoulder with sorries in between. I pull
out slowly and ram into her again slowly making her moan in
pleasure. This feels good, it feels right. We are disturbed by her
phone ringing
"Ignore it"
I whisper ramming into her again making her gasp
"It could be important"
She says but not pulling away. I rub her clit and feel her insides
clenching so damn good I come with her. Her phone rings again
and so does mine. I pull out slowly
"We should answers those"
I say fixing myself as she walks to the table with shaky legs. Its
Sebe. I walk out to the kitchen
"Cuddles"
I answer
"Uhhm hi, am I speaking to Gugu?"
Says a voice almost scared, its not Sebe that's for sure
"Yes this is he, is Sebe Ok?"
I asks now panicking
"She's uhhm... I think she's having a panic attack or something"
She says sounding really scared
"Call an ambulance, I'm on my way"
I say dropping the call. Why would they call me? I'm no doctor.
Now I suddenly feel bad for fucking Mbali while Sebe is going
through shiit. I'm about to walk in the lounge when I bump into
Mbali
"My parents are downstairs"
She says, thank God!
"I'll leave then, I'll call you later"
I say kissing her cheek. She walks me to the door and I head up
to Sebe's floor. I don't even knock on the main door. I walk in
and Bulo is looking at Sebe begging her to breathe
"Cuddles"
I say taking over from Bulo
"Cuddles I'm here, look at me. Listen to my voice cuddles"
I say caressing her cheek, she's hyperventilating
"Its Ok. He can't hurt you again Cuddles"
I assure and slowly her breathing decreases
"Its Ok"
I assure looking into her eyes
"Gugu?"
She whispers sounding unsure
"Its me cuddles. I'm here"
I say and she throws her arms around my neck trembling. I hold
her tightly brushing her back as she sobs
"Its Ok cuddles"
I keep repeating brushing her back slowly. My heart breaks
seeing her like this. Sabelo has really fucked her up!
I sigh to myself. This cannot be her life. We sitting on the floor
together with her head resting on my shoulder. Her breathing is
even now so its safe to assume she's sleeping. I pick her up and
place her on the bed and put a throw over her and take off my
shoes to join her, her friends have left. I switch my phone off
and pull her to me and listen to her breathing softly. I'm afraid
to fall asleep, what if she has a nightmare? I just brush her hair.
"Why do things have to be this complicated? I love you, deep
down I know I love you and you the one for me but I can't help
but fear that whatever this is won't be a smooth ride."
I sigh heavily, she's sleeping and I'm talking to myself right now
"I don't want to hurt you Sebe, I never want to hurt you but I'm
scared I'll hurt you and I don't think I'd ever forgive myself if I
ever hurt you"
.
.
-SEBENTILE
We starting lectures in 4 fours days and I ain't ready, I've only
been here for a week but the things I've been through it's like
it's been years already. Everyone has been hoarding me for the
past two days like I'll commit suicide or something, I didn't
think that far I wouldn't even. Yes it hurts, a part of me literally
died that day, my trust in men died that and I have no one to
blame but me I mean Gugu told me to stay away, Twana too
but noo I went right ahead and went to him. He didn't stop
calling or sending texts hasn't stopped still but Khumo came up
with the idea that I block him and I only get notifications that
he called. Well today after spending my days locked up in this
flat they convinced me to go out for a day at the mall, window
shopping and what's not. It's a bit cold outside
my kind of weather I could live like this all year long and be just
as happy. So I'm in Grey Nike tracksuits that the Radebe's
bought for me and my peach kicks, I'm a braids girl so I've let
them loose. Sakhile has offered to drive us there but Bulo
turned him down said we need to know our way around
Pretoria and we can't do that if we have a chauffeur.
"Where do we start?"
I ask as we get into Brooklyn mall and must I say I've never
been to a mall this big
"Shopping"
Khumo squeals
"This is big"
Bulo says
"Wait till you get to Menlyn"
Khumo says leading the way
"What's that?"
I ask honestly I'm lost
"It's another mall, first time I went there we got lost and
couldn't find where we parked"
She says and we laugh
"I tell you, the exits and entrances all look the same, thank God
for the securities because I'd be still looking for a way out till
today"
Did I tell you she exaggerates things?
"I heard Mall of Africa is the biggest?"
Bulo jumps in
"Never been there but we'll go someday."
Khumo says leading us to Edgar's. By the time we catch a taxi
back to res I can't even walk properly, I shop but I'm not a
shopper and Bulo na Khumo are shoppers we went to everyone
shop I others I didn't get the aim of going there cause we
couldn't afford half the clothes in there batsi that's called
Window shopping. We walking to res with the shopping bags in
our hands and laughing out arses out when a car stops besides
us it's a Merc not sure of the model but it's an SUV, the driver
gets out and comes to us, I give him points for that I hate it
when guys with cars come to us and ask us out or for our
numbers still in the car then drive away. I really don't give them
time of the day. He's tall and light skinned, a bit buffy and has a
fade on, he's wearing all black a black turtleneck, black jeans
and black Nike kicks, his presence just demands attention.
"Ladies"
Gosh his voice it's not deep but not too soft either it's just
perfect
"Hi"
I reply since these two are tongue tied, Bulo has a boyfriend
njalo
"I saw you ladies carrying your shopping bags and I felt bad that
such beautiful ladies are doing so much work for themselves, I
figured let me help them"
That line I couldn't help but laugh and he looked at me
"Who said we wanted help?"
Khumo finally speaks with an attitude
"The gentleman in me"
He says unbothered
"Where you ladies headed?"
He asks looking at me probably figured I'm the easiest neh
"Res but we almost there"
Bulo says
"Let me take you there then"
He says taking our bags
"We said we fine Mister"
Khumo says, why is she suddenly irritated
"If you think I'll kidnap you then we can walk there"
My eyes pop out, he doesn't look like he knows how to use his
legs willingly. I'm the first to give him the bags I'm carrying and
so does Bulo but Khumo isn't budging.
"We not leaving here until you give me those bags"
He says sternly looking at Khumo, there's so much authority in
his voice I'd pee on myself if that tone was used to me. She
gives him the bags and he's carrying 7 in total.
"I'm Marvin"
He says after a few minutes of awkward silence
"I'm Sebentile, these are my friends Nonjabulo and Khumo"
I say since these two have resorted to not using their mouths
"Nice to meet you girls,are you Swati?"
He asks and I nod
"From Mpumalanga though"
He nods
"Nelspruit?"
I shake my head, I wonder why people always assume you from
Nelspruit when you say you from Mpumalanga as if it's the only
place there
"No Nhlazatshe"
He nods and we continue walking till we reach our gate
"This is us"
I say and he gives us our bags back
"Re a leboga" (Thank you)
Khumo says and Marvin nods
"I do hope so see you around ladies"
He says then gives us hugs and gosh he smells heavenly, excuse
me but I have a thing for guys who smell good. We watch him
leave then Khumo screams even the security comes running
"What's wrong girls?".
The security asks
"Nothing, sorry Mr"
He nods then goes back inside. We both look at Khumo
"Damn that man is beautiful"
We laugh
"Beautiful?"
I ask
"Handsome isn't the right word to use"
We get inside the building with her telling us she liked him and
we laughing at her cause she was acting like a child called to the
principals office.
"Sebe!"
Someone shouts for me as we get into the elevator, I know that
voice from anywhere and I freeze. I can hear him saying he's
entitled to me, I have to have sex with him or he'll get it from
someone else, I can feel his breath on my neck.
"Sebe can we talk"
He's closer now, I turn and he looks like hell not worse than I
feel though
"Ufunani Sabelo?" (What do you want Sabelo?)
I ask there's no one in the elevator so we holding it
"I want us to talk, babe you've been ignoring me. I'm sorry
about what happened, I was drunk and not in the right state of
mind."
I chuckle
"He blames alcohol"
I say to myself, he tries to hold my hand and I yank it away
"Leave me alone, I don't want anything to do with you or your
stupid apology. I don't even know what I was doing with an
animal like you"
I say with my voice breaking, I thought I was over it
"Sebe you don't mean that"
He says getting closer and I go back. The security notices there's
something wrong and comes to us
"Is everything okay?"
He asks
"He's harassing her"
Khumo says, and he looks at me for approval and I nod
"I'm sorry sir but I'll have to ask you to leave"
Sabelo looks at me with pleading eyes
"Sthandwa sami ungangenti manje, ngiyakucela sikhulume"
(My love don't do this, can we please talk"
He says as the security tells him to leave, I shake my head going
back I hit the elevator door cause I can no longer see properly
cause of the tears. My day was going well, why did he have to
ruin it? I was over everything that happened and he just had to
take me back or I wasn't really over it?
32
-GUGULEZWE
"Gugu"
I look around. I'm in a dark space... Not this again! I think to
myself annoyed.
"What do you want from me? Andithi I was with Sebe? And I'm
constantly checking up on her"
I say pissed. I hate these dreams or whatever. She chuckles
"You with her but you not really with her"
I'm confused by this statement
"What do you mean? I always answer when Sebe needs me
mos"
She sighs and I feel her walk over to me
"Its more than just being there for her Gugu"
She touches my shoulder and I get a clear view of her. Its not
dark anymore, I recognize her from Sebe's home
"You are Sebe's grandmother"
I point out unable to hide my shock
"Indeed I am Gugu. My daughter needs you"
I chuckle in disbelief
"Your daughter never listens to me. Besides, I'm with someone
and she has an amazing heart for me to just drop her like that"
I say thinking about Mbali. I should have ended things with her
the other day but I can't. I think I've caught feelings for her but
I'm too pussy to admit it to her or myself. I enjoy her company,
the sex, but mostly just being with her. I sigh and she touches
me bringing me back
"You're in love with her"
Its more of a statement than it is a question. I don't know what
to say. I shrug
"Oh son, you can't be with her. Your fate lies with the Sebe"
I shake my head
"Sebe doesn't want me, she only needs me for certain things
that she feels only I can give while Mbali..."
She cuts me off
"While Mbali is just a friend you have sex with. Gugulezwe you
don't want to upset the ancestors let alone God."
I chuckle in disbelief
"So it doesn't matter what I want? I should be with Sebe
because she's apparently my soulmate?"
She nods as I spit out pissed. I do not need this
"And what happens if I don't listen?"
I ask rolling my eyes
"You only putting Mbali's life in danger"
I chuckle
"Sebe didn't listen but nothing happened to Sabelo. Why does
my life have to be on hold for her?"
She sighs
"Sabelo will get what's coming to him. You need to focus on
Sebe, she needs you"
I look at her
"I'm sorry but I can't. I cannot be with her out of obligation. It
will never work! Push back your plans or whatever cause I'm
not ending things with Mbali!"
I say angrily. My life cannot be controlled by forces I don't
believe in. I feel this cold breeze and then my phone rings from
afar waking me up. I glance at the screen and its mom, I press
decline. I feel like I already know what she wants to talk to me
about and it ain't goin happen. The last 2 days have been hell,
hectic even but Mbali's been great at distracting me. I told her
about what happened to Sebe and told her about the dreams
too and she tried to convince me that she was okay with me
choosing Sebe but I flat out refused. Mbali means a great deal
to me, its more than just sex. I'm drawn to her in a way even I
cannot explain. Its like something is pulling me to her and I
don't know what. Mom is persistent so I end up answering
"Honey"
I sigh
"This mess you've put yourself and this child in"
She starts off. Here comes that one hour long lecture
"Which one?"
I ask sarcastically
"Mbali! Baby it was easier when you and her didn't get
intimate"
"Ok?"
I say urging her to continue
"When you sleep with a person even if no feelings are involved,
part of you remains in them. Your spirits tie to each other"
She sighs
"Things are now more complicated than before. She's fallen for
you as much as you have her which will cause nothing but a
great war"
I sit up trying to understand her but nothing she says makes any
sense
"A great war?"
She sighs
"You and Mbali were never supposed to be. Great forces are
upset and people will be punished"
I chuckle, its not funny at all. If anything I'm upset!
"For falling in love?"
"No honey, for disobeying"
She corrects. I shake my head
"God you've always been stubborn. At this point ending things
with Mbali is not wise"
She suggests
"And what about Sebe?"
She sighs
"I don't know baby. I really don't know this time"
I run my hands on my face, the frustration is too much
"Mom I have to go. There's a knock on the door"
"Don't ignore my calls again. I'm only trying to help you here"
She says
"Yes mom. Bye"
I say opening the door to see Sakhile. I drop the call
"You're a regular"
I say as he pushes me out of the way
"To keep Bulo happy. I'm leaving soon, classes are starting on
Monday"
He says throwing himself on the couch
"Yeah so are ours. But are you and her good?"
He nods
"Sabelo"
I start off and he shakes his head
"He'll be dealt with soon as he gets to Jo'burg"
He says casually
"I know you want to fuvk him up but what they goin do to him
is far worse"
He says confidently but I have a bad feeling
"And if they don't?"
I ask
"He'll undergo severe punishment. For the betrayal and what
he did to Sebe"
He assures
"You look upset. What's aunty done?"
I sigh
"Her and forces I don't know or believe in are trying to control
who I can and cannot be with"
He looks at me astonished
"I know. One minute I'm forced to be with Sebe and the next I
don't know. Mom suggests I be with Mbali for now. Said
something about a great war"
I say unable to even explain what the hell is going on
"So what now? How do you feel about Sebe?"
I shrug
"I care a great deal for her"
I say, he eyes me
"And Mbali?"
I shrug
"I think I'm in love with her dude"
He eyes me and shakes his head
"Then be with the one you love. Fvck what anyone thinks or
says"
He advice's patting my shoulder.
"Let's go get drunk in Jozi"
He suggests. I nod like a kid being offered candy
"Let's go"
I text Mbali so she doesn't call and she understands. I switch my
phone off and we leave.
.
.
-SEBENTILE
I should probably get over everything, I can't live like this it's
not healthy. I take out my phone to call Gugu but it goes
straight to voice mail
I try it again three more times but still. I huf throwing the phone
on my bed.
"Keng ka wena?"(What's up with you?)
Khumo asks getting into my room
"I'm just not okay"
I say looking out the window, it's still gloomy just the way I like
it
"Talk to me"
She says getting closer
"I'd rather not"
I don't know her that well
"Talking helps you of all people should know that and if it's got
you feeling this way then it means ke e golo"
I sigh
"Where do I even start?"
I say turning to her
"Anywhere but at the beginning is the best"
She says and I chuckle
"You remember Gugu moc"
She nods
"So apparently him and I are mates, soul mates"
She squints her eyes
"But I thought only werewolves and what what's have mates"
I shrug
"I thought so too but ke, so long story short we suppose to be
together but there are forces against our Uninon hence the
Sabelo saga."
She again nods
"I was having none of it at first cause I thought it's ridiculous,
Gugu too and we agreed to go our own ways until Lord knows
when. So there's this girl Mbali who we went to school with and
had a thing with Sabelo and Sabelo wanted me so she got
caught in the crossfire and got her heartbroken. Long story
short she came to ask for permission to date Gugu since she
could see there was something going on between me and him. I
gave her the go ahead"
She pops her eyes out
"Moghele"
I groan
"I know"
I say hiding my face and Khumo laughs at me
"So that's what's bothering you?"
I nod
"I think I'm falling for him Khumo, and I'm not supposed. It
complicates things"
I say throwing myself on the bed sitting down
"And why not?"
She comes to me
"Cause I gave another girl permission to date him"
I say groaning and Khumo laughs seriously
"Girl you got it bad, let's go out tonight"
She always thinks going out solves problems
"I'm joking"
She says after a while
"Listen whatever is happening between you and Gugu was
never suppose to happen, yes your love and getting together
declares war in every force but now that it has happened
everything will work out not the way it suppose to be but it will
workout"
I'm looking at her dumbfounded, naye she knows the forces
"I don't know anymore Khumo I feel I should just let Gugu and
Mbali be"
She nods
"And you know what else you need to do? Go to church"
I chuckle
"Didn't think of you as the church type"
"Moghele I know God and from what I know of Him in times
like this you just need prayer"
She sounds genuine
"Don't you think it's inappropriate to pray about that?"
I ask, honestly I don't think God wants to hear about umjolo
"That's where we get it wrong ge, we need to talk to God about
our relationships, whether they romantic or not. Now your
situation talking about forces and stuff God definitely needs to
be there to show you how to do it and what not to do those
kind of things"
I nod
"You actually smart yati"
She bats her eye lashes
"Ohh I try"
She says and I laugh
"Now to less depressing stuff, what are we cooking tonight?"
I shrug
"Rice and chicken livers?"
She nods and we go to the kitchen and start cooking, I connect
my phone to the speaker and play Khalid, I'm so in love with the
guy these days. Khumo's phone rings and she goes answer it.
"Hello"
She says
"Hello"
She looks at me then at the phone
"He hang up on me"
She says confused
"Who was it?"
I ask and she shrugs
"I don't know some guy nje are o kontle" (Saying he's outside)
Now I'm also confused
"Should I go?"
I shrug what if something bad happens to her?
"Let's go together"
I say and decrease the heat on the stove then we leave. When
we get to the reception Khumo asks the security if anyone
camn looking for her and he says no. We go outside and look
around and we don't see anything. We are about to turn back
when her phone rings again
"Answer it"
I say, she puts it on loudspeaker
"Hello"
She says uncertain
"Come to the car in front of you"
We look and see the Merc from the other day, Khumo starts
fuming
"I ain't coming there"
She says and hangs up then drags me back inside. I say nothing
as we wait for the elevator, a certain cologne hits my nostrils
when I turn to check it's that guy.
"Ladies" He says and I nod
"Can I have her for a moment?"
He's looking at Khumo who didn't even bother turning, I nod
"Rato laka"(My love)
He says and I'm shocked some guys don't waste time. The
elevator opens and I get in avoiding this awkward conversation
that's about to happen.
33
-GUGULEZWE
Its Sakhile, Chad, Stix, Thuso and myself. We drinking and it's lit,
I'm lit. Sakhile disappears every now and then to call Bulo. He's
so whipped I never expected he'd be ever! We chatting while
some of the guys entertain some girls. I'm not interested in any
as my mind is on Mbali and her alone. I decide to switch my
phone on and head out, I'm shocked to see Sebe's missed calls
but I'll go see her tomorrow, for now I have to call Flower Child.
I dial her number, its a little after midnight already, how time
flies when you having fun. Her phone rings, my eyes are
wandering around for some reason I don't know. I spot Sabelo
and cancel the call putting the phone back into my pocket. We
need to talk, he has some nerve!
I walk over to him and throw a punch on his face, no questions
asked no nothing, I'm pissed to the core. He crouches holding
his cheek, I punch him again under his chin making him look up.
He cries out in pain.
"What the fvck is your problem?"
He finally asks, my chest is heaving, I'm angry. I punch him
again and this punch throws him to the floor. I start kicking him
while he's down and then get on top of him punching until I feel
someone pull me off of him
"He's not worth it!"
The person says but my anger hasn't subsided at all. I still want
to hit him.
"Get him out of here!"
Sakhile yells holding me tightly
"He needs medical attention. Gugu really did a number on him"
Thuso says in Swati
"This oke's pulse is faint"
Chad adds.
"Can I trust that you won't kill him?"
He asks holding me at arms length
"I should"
I spit out, he chuckles
"Don't try anything!"
He turns to his guys
"Chad get him to hospital. Tell them you found him like that
and remind him what happens if he tells the cops anything.
Thuso inform the fvckn DR leader of his whereabouts"
He says angrily
"Let's go finish drinking and leave"
He says patting my shoulder. I'm more calm now but still a little
worked up. I hear my phone vibrate, I take it out and it's Mbali
"Flower Child"
She giggles softly
"Hey you"
She says
"I'm sorry about earlier. I had a run in with Sabelo"
I say apologetically
"I hope you killed him. He deserves to rot in prison"
I chuckle
"You not a hateful person, I'm not used to you spiting fire"
She chuckles
"What he did pissed me off. Miss me?"
She asks lightening the mood
"When do I ever not? Any chance I'll see you when I get back?"
She giggles
"I'm already in bed. Call me when you get here"
She says yawning
I feel bad for waking her but I really want to hold her in my
arms and fall asleep. Why do I feel the way I feel for Mbali? It
was supposed to be JUST SEX but I want more. I want her to be
mine.
"Its Ok Flower, sleep and I'll see you tomorrow instead"
I assure calmly
"But I want you"
She says sounding seductive and sexy AF!
"You tempting me"
She giggles softly
"Is it working?"
I chuckle
"My dick's twitching"
She laughs, she sounds so cute and sexy that I can almost
picture her pink cheeks when she blushes shyly
"Call me Ok? Bye"
"Bye Flower"
I end the call and walk up to Sakhile and Thuso
"Ready to leave?"
Sakhile asks eyeing me
"Yeah"
I say throwing myself on the couch.
"Ayt lemme settle this bill"
He says leaving me with Thuso
"Heard your fists had a run in with Sabelo"
He says with a chuckle
"I'm glad Sebe has someone looking out for her, she's a great
girl and deserves someone who will risk such for her"
I just nod. His voice is so tender as he speaks of her. If I didn't
know better I'd say they were dating.
"You like her"
Its more of a statement than it is a question
"That obvious?"
I nod
"With Sabelo claiming her and all, never got the chance to
make a move on her and you coming into the picture didn't
help"
He says, I chuckle
"Sebe and I are not dating dude. Try your luck"
I say and he shakes his head
"Girls have this thing against dating their exes friend"
I chuckle, I can imagine Sebe rejecting Thuso for just that
reason
"I'm sorry bruh"
I say patting his knee
"What do you think about Mbali?"
I ask him and he eyes me for a while
"She's a sweet church girl with a bad rep thanks to Sabelo. She's
beautiful inside and out. She's those save the world, hug a tree
type of girl"
I chuckle at the last part
"She's too good for her own good. She's real that's for sure,
very caring, smart, funny, chilled... You don't have to worry
about her"
He finally adds
"How do you know so much?"
He shrugs
"Our parents are friends so it wasn't that hard to know each
other. She's like a sister to me"
I nod thankfully. At least he doesn't see her like the way he sees
Sebe
"If she's like a sister, what did you do to avenge her rep in the
community?"
He sighs
"Had a lengthy conversation with Sabelo"
He grins and I realize he means he fought with him
"Rumours are quick to spread in a town like ours. Her name
was already tarnished when I found out so there was nothing
we could do"
"Ready?"
Sakhile asks startling us both
"Yep"
We say getting up.

I kiss her head as she sleeps comfortably on my chest. Last

night was lit or rather this morning, I check my phone and its
just after 8. This is where I'd rather be. She moves a little and I
unwrap my arms caging her.
"Morning"
She says pulling away from my chest to look at me
"You so beautiful"
The words slip out of my mouth, she blushes
"Are you falling for me?"
she asks and chuckle
"Would that be such a bad thing?"
She shrugs
"I don't know"
She sighs
"Gugu we can't keep ignoring your dreams. Yeah sure this,
what's happening between us is fun and all"
I try to speak but she cuts me off
"Gugu I'm falling for you each day we spend time together but
if your dreams or whatever believe I'm not for you then maybe
we should just end this before we both get hurt. I mean it won't
be nice for me to have to let you go when its time for you to be
with Sebe"
I sigh. My heart is in pieces hearing her speak like this
"Flower I'm in love with you and I'm not saying this because you
just tried to dump but its the truth, its how I feel and have been
feeling for quite some time now I've just been too pussy to say
it"
She attempts to speak but I shake my head no. I take her hand
and kiss her palm
"I don't know what's going on with my life. I'm as confused as
ever but through my confusion I know that you are the one I
want to be with right now. I don't care about tomorrow or
whatever but I want to be with you. Also mom said it wouldn't
be wise to end things with you"
I say with an innocent smile. She's as conflicted as I am
"Think about it Ok? If really you want to cut ties then who am I
to stop you but at least consider your feelings and mine."
.
.
-SEBENTILE
I get to the flat and continue cooking
Khumo comes with no she runs into the flat
"And then?
I ask while giving her water since she's breathing heavily
"I took the stairs"
She says and I laugh, we stay at the fifth floor but with those
stairs it's like we in 10th floor
"What are you rushing for? It's not like you left someone here"
She sits down
"I left someone downstairs"
I look at her confused
"Who? Marvin?"
She nods
"He asked that we go out with him and his friends"
She must be crazy
"And you said yes"
It's more of a statement than a question
"Duh, go get changed and call Bulo"
She says getting up heading to her room, just like that we going
out. I switch off the stove since the food is done, I call Bulo
while heading to my room she picks up after forever
"Sengiyati kutsi ngito shayela bani mangiboshiwe noma ngifa
ngifuna kukhipha timfihlo tami" (I now know who not to call
when I'm arrested or on my death bed)
I say when she answers her phone
"Ahh friend why are you dramatic"
She replies laughing
"I swear what if that was my last call nje and I can't find you"
She's laughing so hard I end up laughing too
"Ngiyakutsandza babes" (I love you babes)
She says
"Utsandzwa ngimi Njabulo yami" (You are loved by me my
happiness)
She giggles
"I love how you call me, so what's up?"
I'm the only one who calls her my happiness, or I hope
"What are you busy with? Khumo and I are going out"
"To where? Cause I know ya'll are broke"
She's right we are, few days nje into varsity but already
"Marvin is the one who actually asked us out, well Khumo but
you get my point moc"
I say
"Marvin? The guy from the other day?"
She asks
"Yeah him"
She keeps quiet for a while
"What time?"
Well I wasn't expecting that
"Now, I'm going to change then we heading out"
I'm hoping she says she can make it phela I don't want to be a
third wheel
"Mele ngite lapho?" (Do I have to come there?)
My friend is lazy you guys
"No we'll fetch you"
She squels
"Great then"
I hang up and go get dressed, I find Khumo waiting for me
already
"Let's go"
I say and she takes her eyes off her phone
"You look great"
She says taking her bag
"You too my love"
She takes my hand and we walk out
"Bulo asked that we pick her up"
She nods, we get into the elevator after locking the door.
Marvin is waiting for us by his car, he's on the phone so we wait
for him till he's done and gives us attention.
"Where's the other one?"
He asks looking at us in the rear view mirror
"What do you want to do with us?"
I don't know why this is only coming to mind that the guy might
kidnap us.
"I won't do anything to you, don't you trust me?"
He says chuckling
"I'm sorry but I don't"
Okay that was suppose to be on my mind
"I'll direct you to Bulo's res"
Khumo jumps in, I wanted to see his reaction. We direct him to
Bulo's res which is just a few streets away and she's already
outside. Sakhile calls as we on our way and she's smitten, she
can't stop blushing and I'm just so happy for her, I envy her
sometimes I mean my love life is so complicated I wonder who I
hurt. She tells him where we going and he requests a picture of
the guy, his registration number and his name.. Dramatic I
know but I understand where he's coming from, so we stop by
the road side while Bulo takes pictures of the car, I take of him
and send it to Sakhile also his numbers and address, poor guy
just agreed nje.
"Your man is too much gurl"
Khumo says when we get back to the car, and we laugh
"Sorry for that"
Bulo says to Marvin who just nods
"I'd also do that if it was my girl"
He's looking at Khumo who's blushing her face out, I look at
Bulo and she shrugs. We drive into this house it's huge not like
double story huge but huge and there are alot of cars parked in.
He gets out and opens our doors since we glued on them,
muntfu bekayaphi? I should have stayed in my flat listening to
depressing songs.
"Don't be scared we don't bite"
Marvin says since we dragging feet and some guy comes out
the house "Ahh Marv my man"
They fist bump and we standing there awkwardly.
"This is Khumo, Nonjabulo and Sebentile"
Marvin says and this guy gives us hugs damn he smells good
"Samkelo, nice to meet you girls"
We nod "Let's get inside"
He leads us inside asking if we drink and stuff, when we get
inside it's not that packed. There's a few ladies here and there
and we do not belong here I tell you, Bulo looks at me and I
know she sees what I seem, I did say I should have stayed in my
flat ukuphapha nje. Marvin leads us to some couches and him
and Khumo say they'll get us drinks, now I'm certain something
happened between the two. I hear my phone vibrate when I
check it out it's a message from Sabelo.
"I love you and I won't rest until you are mine, I'll do whatever
it takes"
Okay this is creepy, I show Bulo the message and she goes crazy
"Yati Sabelo uyanya, usitsatsaphi sibindzi sokwenta lokhu,
Sabelo uyadzelela akangati kahle" (Where does he get the
nerve to say this? Sabelo is full of nonsense, he doesn't know
me well)
She says taking her phone and I know ish is about to go down.
34
-GUGULEZWE
Forced relationships never work and they won't start with me. I
care a lot about uSebe and I'm worried as to what happens if I
force myself to be with her. What happens if I'm not happy?
What happens if being with her is not what I want so instead I
end up hurting her? Maybe not intentionally but it happens.
The last thing I need is Sebe hating me. If it doesn't work out
with Mbali then fine, I'll be with Sebe but until then Mbali is my
person.
"So we doing this?"
She asks nervously. I nod with a smile
"You my girlfriend"
"Sebe and I live in the same building Gugu"
She reminds me, I shrug
"I don't want bad blood between she and I"
I sigh
"But there doesn't have to be bad blood between you guys.
We'll make this work"
She sighs
"Let's see where this goes then"
She says. I pull her to me and kiss her forehead
"We'll make it work"
After a while I get up to make us breakfast, we start eating and
she seems to enjoy the food which makes me happy.
"Didn't know you can cook"
I chuckle
"There's a lot you don't know yet"
I say kissing her cheek. She's so cute with her messy hair that's
tied up into a messy hair do. I love this sight of her, no make up,
no nothing just plain and carefree
"Ouch"
I say startling by her poking me with a fork
"Where were you?"
She asks and I chuckle
"Thinking about how cute you look"
She blushes.
"You trouble!"
She says with a very adorable smile. You can't help who you fall
in love with. Forces of nature or whatever can sway you left
and right but they can't force your heart to love someone you
feel almost nothing for.
"How am I trouble?"
She shakes her head
"You're a heartbreak waiting to happen"
I chuckle, she places her hand on my cheek
"Should you feel different about me, let me know. Don't string
me along trying to spare my feelings Ok? What you and I have
right now is only temporary"
I lean in on her touch, feels so damn good!
"Maybe it is but I would rather enjoy it while it lasts, wouldn't
you?"
I say that and place my hand behind her neck and pull her in for
a kiss. Her lips a still a little swollen from earlier on. We kiss for
a while and she breaks it. At this point my dick is excited. She
clears her throat
"This breakfast is too good to waste"
She says that and stuffs her mouth with eggs. Even the way she
eats is sexy! Or maybe I'm whipped. I sigh inwardly, how is she
not my soulmate when I feel so strongly about her. I put my
plate aside
"I rather have you for breakfast"
I say that nibbling on her ear making her giggle
"Gugu!"
She tries to scold but my hand squeezing her boob is very
distracting
"I'm all ears flower"
I say that kissing her neck, she let's out a moan
"You were saying?"
I ask still playing with her boob with a nipple between my
fingers
"Don't stop"
She let's out breathing heavily. I take her plate and place it on
the table and get back to her. I pull her to lay down on her back
and then go down on her trailing wet kisses from her lips down
to her neck, from there on to her boobs and all the way to her
neatly shaved Flower. I flicker my tongue over her clit and she
let's out a soft moan. I take that as an invitation to go further, I
trail her folds with my tongue going up and down. I want to
make her cum multiple times with just my tongue and finger
working her perfect Flower. After 3 or 4 orgasms I finally slip on
a condom and dive in slowly. She holds my gaze on her
beautiful eyes, it's more than sex. This is a connection, a bond. I
thrust in slowly until she can accommodate all of me inside her.
We make love for hours and fall asleep in each others arms. Its
home. I'm happy.
I'm woken up by my phone vibrating, we've been out for 3
hours. She's so peaceful I don't want to move, I decline
Sakhile's call. I know he'd do the same if he were like this with
Bulo. I switch my phone off and sleep again. I'm drained.
I'm woken up by Mbali struggling to get out of my arms. I
chuckle and let lose my grip
"You so possessive"
She says getting up
"Of you"
She giggles
"I'm not complaining"
She says wearing my T-shirt which sits as a mini dress on her
amazing body. I smile to myself as she walks to the loo. I switch
my phone on and its only been and hour from since I last woke
up. Sakhile sent me a message telling me Sabelo is missing. I call
him back
"What do you mean he's missing?"
I ask soon as he answers my call
"If you hadn't declined my call you would know. He's not with
the DR and he's not at the hospital. He sent Sebe some creepy
ass message a while ago. I think Sebe might just be in danger"
I sigh. I don't need Sebe and Sabelo drama, especially not now
"She and Bulo are at some house party or something but they
safe. I sent someone to keep an eye on her"
I breathe out. All I need is one day without Sebe being the
centre of my universe. Mbali walks in
"Good to know. See you later cuz"
"Sho"
He says and ends the call.
"Hungry?"
I ask and she nods innocently
"Come let's go grab lunch then"
I say getting off the bed. We shower together with making out
in between and then get dressed. I take her to her res to
change her shoes.
Soon as we get to town we get a morning after pill and she
drinks it straight away then we go to Spur for a nice lunch.
After leaving Mbali at her res to catch up on some sleep, its
already around 5pm now. Its been a long productive day with
Flower child at the mall. I call Sebe to check up on her since I
missed her call yesterday.
.
.
-SEBENTILE
Khumo and Marvin disappeared us and we were now left with
his friends who were nothing but sweethearts I say that cause
none has tried getting into our pants yet though majority of
them had a girl on their lap. They were letting us in about
Pretoria and how easy it to loose focus, they told us to always
remember why we are here and don't let go of that.
"I think you should slow down on that baby girl"
One of the girls say, I look at her then gulp down the remaining
of my wine
"Sebe"
Bulo says in a whisper and I know she's telling me to stop but I
can't, it's giving me some sort of comfort.
"I've been looking at you all day, what's eating you love"
Samkelo asks, I shake my head I don't want to talk about
"Boy trouble, trust me I've been there love"
That girl says again
I totally forgot her name
"But that doesn't mean she should drown her life away, listen
baby no guy ever deserves you throwing away your values for, I
can see you are a good girl and this is not you"
Why do people always think they know me?
"Can I please drink in peace?"
I say pouring myself another glass and I gulp it down
My phone rings and it's Gugu I decline it, the guys look at me
"I need the bathroom"
I say trying to stand and it's a mission, Samkelo catches me
before I fall
"Thank you"
I say before I burp and I hold my mouth
"Sorry"
I say
"Let's go"
He says walking with me with his around my waist
"Bring her back tu"
Bulo says and Samkelo nods, my phone keeps on ringing
irritating me. I called him last night and he didn't answer, why
does he think I'll answer now?Gugu thinks my life revolves
around him. Samke opens the door for me
"Will you be okay on your own?"
I nod then close the door, do my business and find him waiting
still
"Let's go"
I say and my phone rings again, I roll my eyes
"You better answer that"
He smiles then walks away
"Ufunani?"(What do you want? "
I say answering the phone
"Is that how you answer your phone cuddles?"
I let out a sigh
"Don't Gugulezwe don't"
I feel tears building up, I can't cry now. I'm tired of him seeing
me vulnerable in this case hearing me but either way.
"Cuddles?"
His voice is full of concern
"Yekela kwenta ngatsi unendzaba Nami cause you don't, mina
ngikhatsele kwenta ngatsi konke kuhamba kahle. Gugu
ngiyakutsandza Munch kakhulu futsi kukubona na Mbali
kuyiphula kuyicedze inhlitiyo yami. I can't pretend anymore
munch, I just can't. Why can't we just be together even if fate
allows no matter the forces why can't we just be together. Why
did I had to fall for you of all people? I'm stupid I shouldn't have
maybe Sabelo wouldn't have done what he did, if I didn't fall for
you I wouldn't be messed like this.Damn you Gugulezwe damn
you! "(Stop acting like you care cause you don't, I'm tired of
acting like all is well. I love you Gugu Alot and seeing you with
Mbali broke my heart to the last piece.)
I slid down the wall trying to stop myself from busting into
tears, it hurts it hurts that I let myself fall for him knowing very
well that I can't have him. Why am I such a fool? I look at my
phone and it's off probably the battery died.
"Babe?Hey what's wrong?"
That voice is of my best friend, I don't bother looking up I tried
answering her but the tears always win. She pulls me in for a
hug and I let out a loud a sob. Why does love have to hurt so
much?
"I've been looking for you guys"
It's Khumo
"What happened why is she crying?"
That's probably Marvin
"Sebe what's wrong love?"
Each time someone asks that, I can feel my heart break again I
don't know into what cause it's already shattered.
"Please take her to the car before she becomes a show"
Marvin orders
"Let's go"
Bulo says pulling me and leads me out through the back door
where there's not so much people. I get into the back door and
so does she, Khumo comes with a bottle of water
"Here"
She gives it to me then makes me shift, I'm in the middle now
and I know they want me to talk but I can't
"Can't we go?"
My voice is hoarse now
"I'll go get Marvin"
It seems like all I ever cry about these days is boys, Twana is this
how it's suppose to be? After a few minutes Khumo comes back
with Marvin and we drive back to res in silence, I have my head
on Bulo's lap and she's brushing my arm, I feel shivers now and
then which made Bulo ask Marv to open the heater and he
didn't complain.
"Thanks"
I say after he announces we here, Bulo and Khumo follow me in
after saying their goodbyes. I change my clothes and wear
sweatpants with a hoodie then get into bed, I still have the urge
to cry but the one taking place now is the urge to vomit, I run to
bathroom and puke my stomach out until I cry, Bulo is holding
up my braids, I love my friend. I rinse my mouth then go back to
bed and they come cuddle me in.
35
-GUGULEZWE
I don't know anymore. Sebe telling me how she feels and all, I
just, I don't know. Maybe I am to blame for what happened to
Sebe with Sabelo. Maybe if I'd obeyed whatever forces are
trying to pull us together then she'd be fine and wouldn't be
drunk right now. Dammit! I try call her back but it goes straight
to voicemail, I try again three more times and nothing works so
I call Sakhile to check on Bulo, he responds telling me that they
back on campus. I let her be, she and I need to sit down and
talk. My life can't always revolve around her. I text Mbali
goodnight and then go to sleep.
I'm woken up by my phone, its mom. I answer her
"Mom"
"Hey baby"
She says sounding stressed
"What's going on?"
I ask
"I don't know Gugu, you tell me"
I'm confused right now
"Mom what are you on about now?"
She sighs heavily
"I don't know myself. I'm just as confused. I'm worried about
you like something's gonna happen to you. Andazi mahn"
I don't know how to respond now
"Are you involved in some gang? You and Sakhile?"
I chuckle
"Maybe Sakhile but definitely not me"
"Gugu I'm serious here!"
She scolds
"So am I mom"
She sighs
"Just becareful Gugulezwe!"
She warns, I just nod. We talk a little and then I fall asleep.
I shower and eat, call Flower to talk a bit and then make my
way to Sebe around 10. I bang on the door until Khumo opens,
she seems less drunk
"Sebe?"
She asks soon as she opens and I nod
"I don't know what's the deal with you two but you need to sort
ish out!"
She says sternly and leaves me in the kitchen. I make my way to
Sebe's room, I knock once and open.
"What are you doing here?"
She asks shocked to see me
"Morning to you too. Unjani Bulo?"
Bulo gives me a look that could possibly kill me and send me
straight to hell. I sigh.
"Can we talk Sebentile?"
I say looking at Bulo who looks at Sebe and Sebe nods. I still
don't understand who I killed for her to shoot daggers at me at
fxcking 10am!
"Gugu what are you doing here?"
I sit on the edge of her bed
"You tell me Sebe. You called me last night"
She looks at me confused
"I called you?"
I nod at her obvious question
"Oh my God. What did I say?"
I look at her, she shrugs
"I legit don't remember calling you Gugu"
I nod. She seems lost and super cute.
"Firstly don't drink like that again especially in a place where
you don't know the people that surround you"
She shoots me a look, I stare back
"Don't give me that look. Its for your own safety Sebentile but
as usual you don't have to take my word for it"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
She snares defensively
"You know exactly what it means. Sebe I care a great deal
about you and will be there for you when you need me or want
me to be but this, this needs to stop"
She looks at me confused
"We both don't know what's supposed to happen here or when
shiit is supposed to happen but I can't live my life around you.
One minute you permitting Mbali to date me and then the next
you call me telling me about how I hurt you by being with Mbali
as if it didn't hurt me when you constantly chose Sabelo over
me every time I warned you against him"
I sigh
"So what? You dating Mbali to get back at me?"
I shake my head
"No! Of cause not, I'm not that petty. I actually love Mbali and
would really like to see where whatever this is goes"
"Oh"
She says sounding disappointed
"Like I said, when you need me I'll be there but please respect
my relationship with her. She means a lot to me"
She nods
"I'm sorry for whatever I said to you last night and I'll respect
your relationship with Mbali"
I nod
"Thank you"
I get up and kiss her forehead then walk out without looking
back. I can't stand to see her hurting but this is how things need
to be until lord knows. I walk to Mbali's flat, she's in the kitchen
listening to her earphones dancing. She doesn't even see me
standing by the door watching her, I call her and she stops
dancing to answer her phone and only then does she notice
me. She giggles taking out her earphones
"What are you doing here? How long have you"
She bursts out laughing. I can't get over how pretty Mbali is.
Her laughter is my favourite sound, don't even get me started
on how pretty her smile is.
"Long enough"
She unlocks and throws herself in my arms
"I missed you"
I say holding her tightly
"I missed you too. You so sneaky"
She says that breaking out of my arms
"I'm sorry but the show was irresistible"
I say with a shrug
.
.
-SEBENTILE
I look at him walk away somehow I expect him to say he's
joking or atleast turn back and look at me for the last time but
he doesn't and those tiny little pieces that were remaining of
my heart break. What hurts is the fact that I don't remember
calling Gugu or half the things I said last night. I was hoping he'll
say we can give this or chance or that what he and Mbali have
is just a fling. Khumo and Bulo get in pushing each other
Advertisement
they look at me with eyes full of so much pity, I won't cry not
again.
"What did he want?"
Bulo asks sitting on the edge of the bed and Khumo on the
other side
"I drunk called him"
They both pop their eyes out
"What!?"
Bulo's voice is full of range if I may say
"That's not even half of the story, I don't remember what I said"
They both laugh
"That's what happens when you drink like it's your last day on
earth"
Khumo says and they continue laughing, I end up laughing with
them
"So this means that you don't remember what happened last
night?"
I nod
"It's all blurry nothing makes sense"
They laugh again
"Ohh our virgin drinker"
Bulo says and they Crack up again, I throw a pillow at them
"Some friends you are"
I say after the laughter has died down
"What was he here for?"
I look at her and sigh heavily
"To tell me he's in love with Mbali"
I hear gasps
"Shit"
Khumo utters and I chuckle
"The mother fucker"
Bulo joins in
"Guys"
They suddenly are ratchet
"Unesibindzi yati, sekangavuka ekuseni kangaka kutsi atokutjela
kutsi utsandza nomunye muntfu?" (He has a nerve, he even
wakes up this early to tell you he loves someone else?)
She spits
"Well I don't blame him"
I say and Bulo shoots me a look
"What's that suppose to mean?"
I sigh
"That I pushed him away when he wanted us to have
something, instead I ran to Sabelo to make him jealous which in
turn made him fall for Mbali, I'm so stupid"
I run my hands over my face
"Hey, hey look at me"
She lifts my chin up and makes me look at her
"You not stupid and will never be even if you wanted to. Just
everyone you learning and we bound to make mistakes that we
feel would have been avoided but either way you not stupid,
itwas low of Gugu to tell you like this but also big of him to be
honest. You still new in this love thing and you bound to get
confused heck people who have been in the game more than
you still get confused so don't worry about it"
I smile and her phone rings, she excuses herself to go answer it
"Bengingamutsandzi loGugu wakhona vele" (I never liked Gugu
anyway)
Bulo says and I burst out in laughter
"It was your best friend radar"
She nods
"But I tolerated him cause of you now I have absolutely no
reason to, uyanginyanyisa futsi. Bekakwentelani konkhe lokhu
uma bekati kutsi akakutsandzi?" (He disgusts me, why did he do
all of this of he knew he didn't love you?)
I shrug, Khumo gets in
"For you"
She says giving me her phone
"Hello?"
I answer
"Hey princess"
Oh it's Marvin
"Ohh hey"
I smile
"You good?"
Isn't he sweet
"I'm alive"
In honest truth I'm just living
"What happened last night I didn't like it and I hope it won't
happen again"
I nod
"Sebe"
He calls
"Yah"
I forgot he can't see me
"I don't want to see you ever touching alcohol ever again, Sebe
that was irresponsible of you what if someone got to you first
and did something despicable to you? Who would be
responsible for that?"
His tone is firm but calm
"You"
Why is my voice betraying me?
"I didn't catch that"
I clear my throat
"You"
It manages to come out
"I don't want a repeat of that ever again, that boy doesn't
deserve you if he makes you like this okay?"
Today is scold Sebe day
"Yeah"
I say
"Great, I'll come later on to take you guys out for movies"
He's more lighter now
"I was planning on being here the whole day"
I just wanna stay in bed and binge watch some series
"Then I'll bring the movies to you"
I smile "Thank you" I say
"I got you princess, give my baby the phone"
I look at Khumo who's been looking at me since she gave me
her phone and give it back. She walka out again
"I just gained a big brother"
I say to Bulo who was looking at me with the spill it out eyes.
This right here is what I want, genuine people who love and
care for me, yes Gugu said he'll always be here for me kodvwa
he has someone now which means it won't be the same and it
would be unfair of me to expect him to be there every time
surely it will cause conflict between them and I promised to
respect his relationship.
36
1 Month Later
-GUGULEZWE
Things between Mbali and myself have been roses. She's
happy, I'm happy. School is going good for us both, we study
together and do quite a lot of things together and funny
enough I don't get bored or tired of her presence. She's a
breath of fresh air in my life, one I never knew I needed. I see
Sebe around and things haven't been the same again since our
last conversation. I've tried to be her friend but she's pushed
me away and I decided to respect her space, Mbali says she's
weird towards her too and unlike me Mbali doesn't want to
take it lying down... Women.
"Is it me or you gaining weight?"
I ask her while she pulls up her jeggings getting ready for class
"I've gained a little, my jeans don't fit like before"
I chuckle at her pouting
"You still look sexy and cute to me"
I say wrapping my arms around her and kissing her neck, she
moans softly
"You gonna make me miss class"
I nibble on her ear
"We don't want that"
I say moving back leaving her panting
"You such a tease! I'm gonna get you shame!"
I smile naughtily
"Is that a promise?"
She gives me that smiles of her's that always sends me over the
edge.
"Maybe"
She says and good Lord the things I'm thinking of doing to her
right now. If only we weren't going to class
"I know that look. We going to be late"
She says grabbing her bag
"Fine. Let's go then"
I say sulking. I walk her to her class over light conversation and
kiss her goodbye on the forehead then head to my class.
After class she texts me telling me she's got a group project and
we'll meet later or tomorrow. I decide to go study in the library,
next week is test week already. I sit alone and write some notes
based on the textbooks I don't have. By the time I leave the
library its around 7pm, been there since 4pm.
I'm about to open my door when my phone rings, its my
mother
"For once I'd prefer you calling me to ask about school instead
of telling me about dreams and creepy stuff"
I say walking inside the flat
"I wish. How are you? How's school?"
She asks and I just laugh
"It's Ok mom, no need to pretend"
She chuckles
"Given the opportunity to choose your relationship with Mbali
and someone important's life. What would you choose?"
I sit down, I hear her but I'm not understanding her
"Who's so important that I'd risk my relationship?"
I ask
"Gugu, if you were held at gun point. What would you choose?"
I shrug
"I don't know"
I say defeated
"Your relationship or Mbali's life"
I sigh
"Mbali's life I guess"
She sighs
"Oh baby"
"Why do you ask mom?"
I finally ask her
"You remember the girl you slept with after your girlfriend's
death?"
"Yes"
I say doubtfully
"You remember when I told you that she'd cursed you?"
I nod knowing she can't see me
"You remember the dream I told you about?"
I'm getting annoyed by this guessing game now
"Mom what's going on?"
She sighs
"You can't carry on with Mbali. She's strong in faith and all but
not as strong as Sebe. Only she can help you"
Here we go again!
"I understand how you might feel.."
I cut her off
"No you don't. I'm not allowed to live my life, if its anything I'm
just playing out a script I've been handed. So what must
happen? Sebe wants nothing to do with me"
I explain
"Don't worry about that, she'll come around"
She assures. I hate my life! Maybe Sebe and Mbali would be
better off without me. I sigh
"I'm sorry but things are more messed up and complicated
now. Its no longer about you, Sebe and Mbali. Its bigger than
you baby"
I roll my eyes. Its only been a month and already my
relationship must now come to an end.
"Bye mom"
She sighs
"Things will get better in the end"
She assures before ending the call. If I don't listen Mbali might
get hurt.
Can't a nigga be happy just this once? Is a year too much to ask
for? I'm startled by my phone ringing and its Sakhile
"Cuz"
I say
"Let's go get drunk"
I chuckle at his request
"Its Tuesday"
I point out
"I know! I wrote a shiity test bruh"
I chuckle
"Sorry to hear that. Call your girlfriend and have a fxck session"
He chuckles
"Good idea."
He says proudly
"She doesn't like me for some reason"
He laughs out loud
"Yeah she hates your guts. She believes you think you high and
mighty and you breaking Sebe's heart didn't help"
I sigh
"It was for the best"
He scoffs
"If you say so. Bye cuz"
"Bye Sakhile. Next time call Nonjabulo when you bored"
I warn before hanging up. I text Mbali about supper and she
asks me to cook. Imagine! But I don't mind cooking for her so I
start making food, nothing hectic. Just a quick meal. When I'm
done I make my way out of the flat to go fetch her at the
library, its around 9pm now. You know that feeling you get like
you being followed? That's exactly how I feel but there's
nothing suspicious behind me. I walk out of the building and
head to the campus which is not far itself. As I'm walking I feel
something pierce on my back, its so painful it makes me cry out
in pain. I fall to the floor and another one pierces on my upper
back. By now I can hear people talking around me but I'm
slowly slipping into unconsciousness.
.
.
-MBALI
I'm Mbali or as Gugu calls me, Flower Child. Gosh the way he
calls me is enough to emerge a zoo inside my stomach. After
Sabelo I though that was all to life, thought that all men were
trash and that I wouldn't meet someone who would make me
feel differently than the way he did until Gugu came along. He's
been what one would call EVERYTHING! He was a friend when I
needed one
a great sex partner but most of all a great partner. If it were up
to me, I'd never let him go for any reason but I have no choice.
He's not mine to keep. You'd think that with our little one on
the way he'd finally be mine but nope. He belongs with Sebe.
I walk out with my classmates trying to call him. Gugu is so
loving and caring that when I walk out I have no doubt that he'll
be waiting outside for me. I smile to myself thinking just how
lucky I am, even if every now and then I have to remind myself
that he's not going to be mine forever. I sigh at the last thought,
my phone rings just then and its a number that's not saved. I
answer
"Hello"
I say
"Hi, uhm am I speaking to Flower Child?"
I giggle cause only Gugu calls me that
"Yes this is she"
All I'm thinking in my head is 'what is he up to now?'. Gugu is
capable of anything!
"You speaking with Katlego, I got your number from this guy's
phone. Uhhm there was an accident here on campus and the
owner of the phone was rushed to hospital"
The person says and I swear my heart stops for a minute. A
million thoughts run through my mind
"Uhhm, what kind of accident?"
I ask with a shaky voice. Why would this person call me and not
his mother?
"Just rush to the hospital, I'll meet you here"
He says. I don't even respond before dropping the call to
request an uber to the hospital, its not far from campus. I don't
know what to make of this. I have this strong intense pain on
my lower back, it's probably my period. I get intense periods
every now and then. I pay and get off running inside. I call this
person looking around and I finally spot him just as he spots
me.
"I'm Mbali, you called me"
He smiles, weird but Ok.
"Here is the phone. Your boyfriend was stabbed and he's lost a
lot of blood...."
I can't even hear the rest of what he is saying when I suddenly
collapse.
I wake up in a hospital bed. Flip! Gugu. That's all I'm thinking
the minute I wake up.
"Have you eaten today?"
I try to remember and last time I ate was lunch with Gugu
"Around 12 I think"
I say sitting up. I'm talking to a nurse
"There's a snack bar by the reception, get something to eat Ok"
I just nod getting off the bed.
"Uhhm, there was a student from UP that was brought in here
an hour ago or something. Name is Gugulezwe Ncenjani"
I ask hoping she could shed some light on the situation. I feel a
little light headed but its my period so I don't pay no mind
"Let me find out for you Ok? You look pale, how about you sit
here while I bring you something to eat"
I shake my head
"It's just my period, I get like this. I'll be fine"
She eyes me for a while
"Let's take a test Ok and be sure its just that"
She says with a smile. If it means getting her off my back then
I'm down for the test.
"Fine"
I search myself for Gugu's phone and I notice his lock screen is
me and the number to call if it got lost is mine. How have I
never seen this? Oh right. I don't touch his phone. I unlock it
and it requires a password, shiit! How do I call his mom now?
From what I've gathered, Gugu is closest to his mother. How do
I crack the code when I don't even know his mother's name?
Lucky me she calls him.
"Gugu are you Ok baby?"
She says soon as I answer
"Hey Mah. You're uhhm speaking to Mbali. Gugu's friend"
She chuckles
"I know who you are and a friend is more than what you are to
him"
I'm confused. She doesn't sound pissed or anything so I don't
know what to make of this
"Mah Gugu is in hospital, he was stabbed"
She goes silent for a while such that I even think she's dropped
the call.
"His password is Flower Child. Keep his phone with you, I'll keep
calling you whenever I can and I expect you to call me with
whatever updates you have Ok?"
"Yes Mah"
She sighs
"He's going to be fine baby. Call Sakhile and tell him"
She says and just then the nurse walks in
"Ok Mah I will"
"Bye baby"
The call ends
"Your boyfriend is still being operated on. He lost a lot of blood
and he busted a kidney"
I clasp my mouth as tears run down my cheeks
"He needs a new one"
"Please test me to see if I'm a match"
I say holding my arm out to her. I'm not even thinking twice. He
needs this
"That's sweet of you. I hope he knows how lucky he is"
She says, I just smile.
After the tests are run I unlock his phone and the password
really is flower child. I call Sakhile
"This better be good"
He says answering annoyed
"Sakhile Gugu's been stabbed"
I say with my voice failing me
"What? When? Where?"
He starts cursing
"On campus. He lost a lot of blood and he needs a kidney"
He goes silent
"Text me the hospital name"
He drops the call. I decide to call Sebe, she deserves to know. I
use my phone cause chances are she won't answer Gugu's
number. I tell her and she says she'll come to the hospital.
37
-SEBENTILE
It's been a rough month, school, life everything but I've been
holding on. I've just come out of back to back lectures and
being tired is an understatement the only thing I want right
now is my bed oh before that I need ice cream, blueberry
flavored. Me and Gugu, well I've seen him around and that's
that, he told me to respect his relationship with Mbali and I'm
doing just. It wasn't easy seeing them on campus like that
worse part Mbali and I live in the same complex imagine. I
haven't heard from Sabelo in a while which is a good things,
means he's finally over us being together but that message he
last sent tells me he hasn't just disappeared he is busy with
something and I'm afraid he'll attack while we not looking.
Khumo and Marvin have been at it, Khumo says she isn't ready
to label it as yet and Marvin is cool with it, he's such a
sweetheart. The flat's empty as always it's around 3 so I go
straight to my room and take a nap, I feel down and my heart
beat is not normal. You know the feeling you get when you
scared or nervous? That's how I feel exactly and the urge to cry
my lungs out is there. I'm woken up by my phone ringing non
stop.
"Mmm"
I answer not looking at who it is
"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you up"
It's Samkelo
"It's okay, how are you?"
I sit up and look outside it's not dark yet
"Ngigrand, o ko kae?" (Where are you?)
Apparently he is Tswana beats me how he is Samkelo mara ke
this is South Africa
"My flat, what's up?"
I get up
"We going for ice cream"
He says then hangs without waiting for me to reply and I
chuckle, he does it calls and says what he wants without
hearing what I have to say. He has been there checking up on
me and taking me out for ice cream, I've never met a man who
loves ice-cream as he does it's amazing. I take my toiletries and
freshen up changing to track pants and a long sleeved vest
since it's a bit chilly, Pretoria weather is not predictable it
changes instantly. He calls saying he's outside and I take my
phone, leave a note for Khumo then lock. I find him leaning on
his car wearing black shorts, black long sleeved turtleneck and
flip-flops.
"Chubby cheeks"
He says giving me a hug and I don't hesitate to return it, his
hugs are the best, you know the hugs that make you want to
spill out everything that made you cry last night, everything
that's not going right in your life and just cry, that's the hug. I
pull out and smile
"Are we walking or"
I ask since he's not showing any signs of getting into the car
"Nop
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come"
He opens the door for me then goes to his side, I connect my
phone to the car's Bluetooth and play start playing music
"You have started"
He says the minute Jhene Aiko's While we're young starts
playing
"What's wrong with this song?"
I ask giggling
"Your songs depress me"
He doesn't like any of the songs I have on my phone says they
too depressing for him
"Not this one, listen to the lyrics"
He nods
"I'm telling everybody you're mine and I like it...And I really
hope you don't mind I can't fight it"
I sing along and he smiles at me, we arrive at Sunnypark and go
to Milky Lane, we live for ice-cream guys.
"I've been craving blueberry flavored ice cream"
I say as he is about to order and he eyes me
"Why didn't you say earlier?"
He asks annoyed
"I'm telling you now"
I say pouting
"Let's go to Checkers"
He says then leaves me standing there. I follow him and we buy
the 5l tub then head to the car the minute I get it I dig in oh
bought spoons also,he joins me and before we know it the tub
is already half. My phone rings and I don't know the number
"Hello"
I answer
"Hey Sebe it's Mbali"
Okay this is odd
"Hey"
I don't know what to say
"Uhm ungakhona kuta esbhedlela?Gugu ulimele" (Can you
come to the hospital? Gugu is hurt"
My heart starts beating fast
"Kwentakaleni?" (What happened?)
I ask with my voice failing me
"Cela ute shemu" (Can you please come)
Maybe that's why I've been feeling down
"Send me the details"
Samkelo looks at me
"Can we go to the Hospital, Gugu has been admitted"
I say
"Which one?"
I show him the message and he rushes there. I call Mbali when
I'm outside and she directs me to where they are
"Hi"
I say when I see her and she looks miserable but fuller and
more beautiful I swear she gets more beautiful every day. She
gets up to give me a hug but she looks weak so I meet her
halfway, the hug is a bit awkward.
"Are you okay?"
I ask sitting on the bedside chair and she nods
"Kwentekeni?" (What happened?)
I can't wait any longer
"He got stabbed"
I gasp holding my chest
"How, where?"
I ask
"I'd be lying and he needs a kidney. I'm still waiting for the
nurse to come take my blood to see if I'm a match"
What's happening? Tears fall down and I can't imagine how she
feels right now cause I feel like my world has been crushed.
"I'll also get tested"
I say and we fall into silence, awkward silence. The nurse comes
in to take her blood and I tell her I'm willing to donate and she
says she'll come back to take mine and asks that I get Mbali
something to eat.
"What happened Sebe"
Mbali asks after I give her some snacks
"What do you mean?"
I'm not ready for this talk
"You giving me this vibe maarn Sebe, is it because of my
relationship with Gugu? I thought you cool with it since you
gave me permission"
I sigh
"Mbali you a great girl I like you, yes a part of me isn't okay with
you and Gugu but I don't hate you."
I say
"But you gave me permission Sebe"
She says
"I know and I regret doing it."
She nods and there's silence
"I'm sorry"
I finally say, I don't know what got into me. I can't possibly hate
Mbali for dating Gugu, the things love makes us do is insane.
°
°
-MBALI
I don't understand Sebe. She's the nicest person there is but I
guess love fucks us all up in a way. I'm about to respond when
the nurse calls my name. I'm even shook she offered to be
tested. I follow the nurse to the room I was in earlier, I still have
not eaten for some reason
"The tests came back and you're a match"
She starts off, I'm happy that I can help him.
"But?"
She looks likes there's a but in her sentence.
"You are pregnant and will not be able to undergo such intense
surgery especially since you still in your first trimest..."
I am listening to her but after she said I'm pregnant I lost my
sense of hearing. Her tests are wrong. Firstly I'm on the pill,
when we forget to use a condom we get the morning after pill
so its not possible
"How far am I?"
She looks through my results
"5 weeks"
She says. I try to think back of a time I forget to buy the
morning after and it was that time Gugu came to my place for a
quickie and next thing my parents were downstairs. How could
I have been so careless! I mentally slap myself. Gugu's phone
rings and its his mother.
"I have to take this"
She nods
"Your friend will bring you something to eat Ok?"
I just nod and then answer Mrs Ncenjane's call
"Hello Mah"
"Hey baby how are you?"
I don't know how to answer her. Do I even tell her?
"I'm hanging in there. I tested and I'm a match"
I say
"Thank you for wanting to help baby but we can't risk your lives
like that"
I frown confused
"Lives?"
She sighs
"Honey I know you expecting my grandchild"
She says so calmly and chilled I'm even scared
"Just get some rest, I will be landing soon Ok?"
"Yes Mah"
I say in defeat
"And eat something Ok? We don't want my son to wake up to
his girlfriend skin and bones now"
She jokes and I fake a laugh. Why is she so calm?
"Bye baby and take care"
"Bye Mah"
We end the call and I'm left there stunned. I'm startled by Sebe
knocking.
"Come in"
I say faking a smile. All this is too much to handle.
"The nurse said to bring you something to eat"
She says politely
"Thank you"
I say taking the sandwich which I'm not even hungry for
"Have you called Sakhile?"
She asks me sitting next to me and I nod
"He should be on his way"
I say stuffing my mouth but it tastes like copper. I can't stomach
a single bite, I run to go puke and then come back to a
concerned looking Sebe.
"You Ok?"
I nod
"I guess I'm still shaken by what happened to him"
I say
"You really love him?"
She asks and I don't even think twice before nodding. With me
being pregnant this changes a lot of things
"So much. I guess I don't need to ask you, so are you a match?"
She shakes her head looking disappointed
"What about you?"
I shake my head. I can't tell Sebe about my pregnancy yet, not
until I tell Gugu.
"Flower?"
Sakhile says walking in startling us both
"Sebe?"
He says shocked at finding her here
"Makazi said I should bring you this. Sebe Bulo is in the waiting
room"
He says and it sounds like he's dismissing her but Sebe asks no
questions and leaves. He's handed me a Nandos paper bag
"Thank you for this"
It smells amazing. I didn't know I was craving this until now
"What exactly happened to him?"
He asks sitting where Sebe was sitting
"I don't even know. I got a call telling me to rush here and when
I got here I found out that he'd been stabbed in his back,
literally. His kidney is messed up so he needs a new one and the
just finished a blood transfusion because this person apparently
hit a vessel or something"
He keeps quiet for a while
"And nobody knows who did this?"
I shrug
"Gugu is friendly with most people, he doesn't have enemies on
campus. At least none that I know of"
I explain. He thinks for a while
"I should meet a nurse and get checked out"
"Sakhile if you know who could have done this"
He cuts me off
"I don't know Flower but I will find whoever did this"
He says with something dark in his voice and eyes that I almost
don't recognise him
38
-MBALI
The Operation was a success and now we just waiting on Gugu
to wake up. Everyone is, his mom came through and donated
the kidney so now we wait for him to wake up. Sadly I can't say
the same about his mom. She's awake and has asked her
husband to come and call me so we can talk. I'm dead scared of
her an don't know what to expect. I walk in alone. Its the next
day. I should be in school but I can't leave him without knowing
how he's doing.
"Mah hey, how are you?"
She smiles, it seems genuine.
"Better than you you I'm sure"
She says
"You need to rest Flower child"
She says with so much love in her voice. Why does she have to
be so nice to me? I smile politely
"I can't. I need to know he's Ok"
She smiles
"I hope my son knows how lucky he is to have you"
She says placing a hand over mine and I smile
"I'm the lucky one to have something to carry from him out of
whatever it is going on between us"
I say touching my tummy. It sucks that he's not mine to keep
but I get to have a constant reminder of him growing inside of
me.
"I'm certain Gugu tells you almost everything?"
I nod
"He tells me everything, the dreams, you and the way things
should be. I tried to fight our relationship Mah and let him be
with Sebe but your son is stubborn"
She giggles and so do I
"He doesn't listen. Stubborn is an understatement."
We both laugh
"But Flower he loves you. A little more than he should"
I don't respond because I don't know
"The day he got stabbed I asked him to choose, your life or your
relationship"
I look at her not ready for her response or rather Gugu's
"He chose your life. If it meant you being safe and well then he
would risk it all just so nothing happens to you. Flower I dream"
I nod. How do you even respond to such anyway?
"My dreams are sometimes warnings and sometimes I'm meant
to deliver a message to my son, guide him to the right path."
I just nod
"You're an amazing girl to him and I wouldn't have chosen
anyone better than you for him"
"But?"
I ask
"The dream that led me to ask him to choose was a dream of
you miscarrying"
I look at her
"It was a dream of you being punished for him not listening.
You and Sabelo were never part of the plan. Gugu and Sebe
were or rather are destined for each other and the sad part is
that forces of nature are willing to destroy whatever comes
their way, innocent or not"
I wipe a tear that managed to escape. Now that we have a baby
on the way things must end between us?
"I know it's painful. I tried to bargain for both of you and him
landing here was the result of it. He chose you so for him
choosing you this was his payment"
She adds and I crumble under her scrutiny and cry. Its all my
fault, if only I'd stayed away
"Flower its not your fault"
She says brushing my hand. I want to pull away but out of
respect I don't
"Why don't you join me in this tiny bed?"
She offers and I shake my head no
"I don't want to hurt you"
She giggles
"I'm already hurt as it is. Come here"
She says shifting aside for me. I climb on the bed and join her.
My heart is in pieces. I cannot begin to describe the pain I'm
feeling. His mom brushes my hair back as I just cry on her chest.
She whispers words of comfort but nothing she says can
recover me from all this hurt and pain. It sucks!
I'm woken up when a doctor walks in
"This is not allowed here"
Its only then that I realise I'd fallen asleep with Gugu's mom.
"She needed this and so did i"
Gugu's mom defends as I get off
"Mah I need to go"
She just nods at me.
I need to make Sebe understand for my baby's sake.
I go and look for Gugu and he's connected to machines and
stuff. He looks weak, a term I never thought would be in the
same line as his name. He's so beautiful it should be illegal. His
chest heaves so there's hope even if its little but there's some
hope. I walk up to him and kiss his forehead as he normally
does me and find myself giggling at the thought.
"Why did you have to come into my life only to not be with
me?"
I ask loudly settling on the seat next to his bed
"Things weren't supposed to be like this Gugulezwe."
I sigh
"We weren't supposed to be anything but friends. You were
supposed to be a crush, a silly crush. One that ends as soon as
we slept together. It shouldn't have gotten this far and now we
both screwed"
I wipe my little tears
"I don't know if you can hear me but thank you. Thank you for
choosing me but now its time we part ways. You need Sebe
more than you need me. Things are different now and its time
you and her sort out your differences and be together"
I say brushing his hand. I sigh and get up, I kiss his forehead and
walk out wiping my tears. I bump into Sebe
"You Ok? Is Gugu Ok?"
I nod
"Can we talk somewhere?"
She looks at me suspiciously but nods. We walk to a nearby
bench and sit down
"Sebe this is bigger than all of us. This thing of you and Gugu"
She looks at me confused
"What do you mean?"
I sigh
"We both love and care about him. We were both willing to do
whatever it took to save him"
She nods slowly
"Things are different now and I feel like my time with him has
come to an end. He's yours. I'll stay away from him and I'll try
make sure he stays away from me. After he and I talk of cause"
.
.
-SEBENTILE
My head starts spinning what is this girl saying to me?
"You can't do that Mbali"
I blurt out
"It's for the best Sebe"
I shake my head
"For who Mbali? Cause I know not for Gugu"
As much as I would have wanted this I can't allow it to happen
"Sebe uyati kungenhla kwetfu lokhu" (You know it's above us)
She's crying and so am I, why does everything have to be so
complicated?
"Mbali ngiyati uyamtsandza Gugu naye kanjalo futsi ngiyati
ngekhe akuvume lokhu. Angiphiki ngiyamtsandza Gugulezwe
kodvwa okwanyalo injabulo yakhe ayikho kimi futsi kulungile
lokho. Ngiyakucela shemu Mbali ungakwenti lokhu" (Mbali I
know you love Gugu and so does he, knowing him he won't
agree to this. I won't lie I love Gugulezwe but for now his
happiness is not with me and I'm okay with it. I'm begging you
Mbali don't do this)
She wipes her tears and sighs
"I'll come back later"
She says and hugs me then leaves, I gather myself then go to
Gugu's ward. This is going to kill Gugu the way he loves Mbali,
yes I do wish he loved me like that but I love him enough to
accept that right now his joy is not with me. I stand by the door
looking at him and all those machines connected to him I feel
the universe isn't doing right by him or any of us for that matter
I slowly walk to his bed and take his hand into mine sitting on
the chair next to the bed. I open my mouth to say something
but tears make their way out instead. I take a huge breath and
blink out the tears.
"This is not you"
That comes out as a whisper, I clear my throat
"I can't believe my superman is laying here looking so helpless,
I'm used to being the helpless one I don't know how to be
strong for you now"
I brush his hand
"Just get better and be out of here for Mbali, your mom and
everyone who cares about you. I'm sorry for my behavior the
past month but it's the only way I knew how"
I kiss his hands, get up and take out my phone to text Samkelo
to come fetch cause he left earlier and said he'll come get me
when I'm done. Bulo and Sakhile left after the talk Sakhile had
with Mbali I'm thinking he's going to find out who did this and I
hope for his sake it's not Sabelo cause if it is even his ancestors
won't bail him out. I'm busy typing on my phone when I bump
into something
"Jesus Christ!"
I exclaim, my toe is on fire
"Ooh sorry baby"
A woman's voice says while I'm busy checking my toe
"It's okay, I wasn't looking"
I say looking up and such beauty is angelic, I could look at her
the whole day I'm assuming she's Gugu's mom they have a few
similar features and she's in a wheelchair since I heard she's the
one who donated. My phone rings disturbing the staring
moment between us
"Yes"
I answer and he laughs
"I'm outside"
He says and hangs up, see I told you. Sometimes I wonder why
he bothers calling when he couln just send a text. I shake my
head smiling
"Don't fall for him"
She says
"Ma?"
She's confusing me
"You out of all people know it won't end well, go on don't keep
him waiting"
Now this is another level of creepyness
"Excuse me"
I say and the nurse wheels her to the bed. I look at her for a
while before walking out
"You look like you've seen a ghost"
He says laughing at me and I want to laugh kodvwa yooh, he
opens the door for me then goes to his side
"Thought you'd be playing music by now"
He says after getting in
"You said my music is depressing"
I say trying to fake a laugh but he doesn't buy it
"What happened back there? Is the nigga dead?"
I shake my head no
"Then what happened?"
I sigh
"You didn't ask my relationship with the Gugu why?"
I ask
"Because you'll tell me if you want me to know"
Isn't he perfect
"Can I tell you?"
I don't even know why I'm asking, he finds a spot to park since
we were already out the hospital.
"He's my mate"
He frowns his eyebrows and I start telling him everything.
"So now it all got complicated because we decided to do things
our way"
I say and the look in his face isn't what I expected, he's not
surprised
"Chubby cheeks, I'm a firm believer in God and I know you are
too"
I never told him that
"I'm not surprised by this and trust me when I say it's all the
beginning"
Him too? Urg come on
"Meaning?"
I ask
"You need to go back to praying my love, things are about to
get intense"
I nod then look out the window, I really don't know what to say
or respond to this
"I'll be there for you all the way, just don't fall for me"
I turn to look at him quickly
"That's what she said also" I say
"Chubby cheeks you love way too easy that's why"
I nod "Let's go finish up the ice-cream"
He starts the car
"I need it and I don't think I'll be able to attend my classes"
They start at 1:30 and it's just after 12
"You'll catch up"
He says taking my hand into his and we drive in comfortable
silence to his place
39
-GUGULEZWE
"Gugu"
I look around. Every time this woman talks to me nothing good
ever comes out of it. Its always something that's meant to
change my life and obviously I'm not happy!
"What now?"
I say really annoyed, she chuckles
"Its time"
I roll my eyes
"Time for what?"
She sighs
"You and Sebe. I hope you've learnt your lesson for defying
what should be. Your mother had to lose a kidney in order for
you to live and I don't want to mention what Mbali would lose
if you continued with your relationship"
Its not Sebe's grandmother's voice but rather some old woman.
I'm pissed and can't even pretend
"So you orchestrated this? Why? Is this punishment?"
She chuckles
"Are you ready to stop fighting me and listen?"
I shake my head
"If you cared about me and wanted what was best for Sebe and
I you'd let me be with Mbali and let me fall for Sebe at freewill
and not by force! You can't force me to love her"
She sighs
"You remember your last accident where you broke a couple of
ribs?"
I don't respond
"You could have damaged your brain with the fall you had but
because of Sebe you still here and even now, after her visit
she'll leave you in a better state than you even should be. Sebe
has the power to heal you with just her touch but that's only if
you let her. Her love for you is that strong but even she doesn't
know it. Her power is meant to co-exist only with you. You were
cursed but look at you? Nothing's happened because of Sebe.
Should you continue to push her away your life will take a turn
that you will never recover from. You are meant to bring Sebe
nothing but joy and love in the midst of everything. You are her
peace, she needs you as much as you need her"
She says and I sigh. Where would this leave Mbali?
"Mbali will be fine as long as you remember what I told you.
Your relationship or her life"
She says and then she disappears with this cold breeze. What
happens now?
"Why did you have to come into my life only to not be with
me?"
She says and I can feel the strain in her voice. She's hurting, its
all my fault. Why didn't I just let her go from the get go? The
more she speaks the more my heart bleeds out to her. God
please free my heart of her, give me the ability to let her go for
my own sanity and for her own safety.
Soon as she leaves I feel Sebe's presence before she even
speaks. I thought she of all people hated me, why is she here?
She also speaks and it's sweet of her, I appreciate the little she
says but my heart wants Mbali.
.
.
-SEBENTILE
"Chubby cheeks"
He says shaking me
"Mmm?"
My eyes feel heavy
"Wake up"
I sit up straight with my eyes trying to adjust to the light
"How long was I asleep?"
I don't know when I fell asleep
"About 2 hours"
I must have been tired
"I must get to my place"
It's already dark outside. I go to the bathroom and wash my
face, Samkelo knocks on the door
"Yes?"
I open for him
"I got you toiletries they in the second drawer"
I forgot I last had a bath yesterday
"Thanks"
He smiles walking away. I take a long hot shower then put the
clothes I was wearing still in bathroom, when I get out he's not
in the bedroom
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I find him in the lounge.
"You look exhausted"
He says when he notices me
"Bruh you have no idea, I'm so drained I don't even know why"
I say and I feel like crying
"Come here"
He pulls me to his chest and I cry, I don't know why I'm crying
but I'm tired so tired I need to cry
"Feeling better?"
I nod
"You such a cry baby"
I hit him playfully chuckling
"Thanks, for everything"
I say when we get to the car
"Chubby cheeks I got your back"
We drive in comfortable silence
"Call me when you need something"
I hug him then get inside
"I've been waiting for you"
Bulo says the minute I get inside the flat
"Hhaybo you live here now?"
I join them in the mini lounge we have
"I was waiting for you to come back. How's Gugu?"
I sigh
"I'd be lying. His mom donated the kidney so we waiting for him
to wake up"
She holds my hand
"He'll pull through don't worry"
Bulo says
"Why aren't you there by his side?"
Khumo jumps in
"I'm not his girlfriend and besides I needed the rest"
They both nod
"What really happened?"
Khumo asks
"I don't really know no one told me anything just that he was
stabbed"
I say
"Where was Mbali?"
Bulo just had to
"She's the one that called me. Listen I need to catch up with
some school work"
I say standing up
"Hawu love we haven't catched up yet"
Bulo pleads
"You can sleep over"
I leave before she can say anything. I take out my books and
bury myself in schoolwork, Zama one of my classmates sent me
today's notes and activities so I do those and so much more.
"Don't give up on him"
A voice says and I keep quiet
"I know you can hear me"
It says again
"Who?"
I'm not used to these things so I don't know what to say or do
"You know exactly who I'm talking about"
Gugu my inner voice says
"Listen, you are what he needs right now you or him might not
know it. He's stubborn I know but just be there"
I chuckle
"Be there how? Cause I know for a fact he doesn't love me"
I'm done running around Gugu
"That shouldn't matter Sebentile it doesn't matter even the fact
that you care and love him is enough to be there for him"
I laugh
"Isn't that overstepping boundaries? The guy has a girlfriend for
heaven's sake"
I spit
"Calm down Sebentile, it's only going to get harder from here
on and you need to be strong in prayer"
Everyone is saying that
"Why should I be strong in prayer for someone who doesn't
want me in their life?"
I ask and there's no response
"Great now I'm left hanging"
I mumble to myself
"Mngani umshini awusabambi kahle yini wakhuluma
wedvwana?" (Friend are you starting to be crazy, why are you
talking to yourself?)
Bulo says getting into my room
"You know I speak to myself moc"
It's therapic
"When you overlly stressed, talk to me"
I'm tired of talking honestly, I know she means well but what
good does it do? I know it changes nothing.
40
-MBALI
Sebe doesn't understand and I can't make her understand until
Gugu and I speak and are on the same page. Why do things
have to be this way? I wonder if I have a soulmate somewhere.
I find myself laughing at my stupid thoughts. I walk to my res
alone, I need a shower!
"Hey"
Someone says and I look up, its my neighbor
"Hi"
I say coldly. He's Xhosa and I don't think I want to mess with
another Xhosa guy anytime soon. Look at me judging the poor
guy, what if he just wants to be friends.
"I'm Ngawethu, you Mbali my neighbor right?"
I just nod with a fake smile. I'm drained
"Heard about your boyfriend, I'm sorry"
I smile
"Thank you"
I say, he doesn't respond. I don't say anything either
"Flower"
Says someone else, I frown turning and its Gugu's housemate
"Hey"
She says greeting the guy I'm with
"Hi"
Ngawethu says
"How is he?"
I shrug
"The operation was successful"
"Operation?"
His housemate exclaims
"He needed a blood transfusion and also needed a kidney
transplant"
They both gasp in shock, I just nod
"If you guys don't mind, I'd like to go shower and change
clothes"
I say leaving them both without even waiting for their
responses. I walk in and luckily my hippy fun spirit housemate is
not around. I take my clothes off and wear a gown then go to
shower with my toiletries. I get enough time to cry over
everything that has happened. Gugu and my pregnancy. Mom
will kill me! I cry until I feel fine then wash and dry my body.
When I get to my room I unlock his phone and go through his
pictures, there's videos of me asleep, videos of me dancing and
acting crazy when I thought no-one was watching
"Oh Gugu!"
I say to myself going through his gallery. There is so much of me
you'd think its my phone, I chuckle cause its cute but he's not
mine! I close his gallery and put his phone in the charger and
try take a nap. I'll let mom see for herself. I wake up and its
already late, its around 6pm or so. I call his mom to check if he's
woken up yet and she tells me no, I respond by telling her I'm
on my way.
After our call I make something to eat and then request an
uber. Within minutes it's outside and I'm on my way to the
hospital. I get to his room and his parents are both there.
"Molweni"
I greet in Xhosa and they both respond at least.
"Gugu's mom tells me you pregnant"
He says and I shake in my pants. Do I respond or what? I'm
sitting opposite them by Gugu's bed
"Ewe tata" (yes dad)
I say nervously. Gugu I need you!
"Ngoku nizothini? Abazali bakho? Kofuneka siyohlawula
umntana ize azothatha eyethu ifani. Ngubani ifani yakho
ntombazana?(so what are you guys going to do? What about
your parents? We going to have to pay for damages so that
when the child is born it can take our surname. What is your
surname girl?)
I was never ready! Nobody could have prepared me for any of
this
"Cirha"
His mom looks at me
"My mother is Swati and my father Xhosa"
I explain because I'm sure its about the name
"My mom liked the name and my father named me Asisipho"
They both nod
"I like Asisipho"
His mom says and I smile
"Gugu prefers Mbali cause he already calls me Flower child and
he said he would never survive calling me Gift"
I say and chuckle, so do his parents
"That sounds like him alright"
His father says
"You and Gugu are kids. This pregnancy shouldn't have
happened, you guys should have been more careful but now
the baby is here and we will do whatever we can to support
you both. You not married but you carrying our grandchild so if
you need anything, tell Gugu and he will inform us"
His father says having switched up to serious mode. I just nod
"Also I'd like a scan every month if possible"
His mother says with a kind smile
"I think it can be arranged"
I say with a fake smile.
When visiting hours are supposed to be over Gugu's mom fights
for me to stay. I hope she's also this sweet and loving towards
Sebe.
I curl up on the chair after eating and just watch this handsome
man.
I'm woken up by Sebe and Sakhile
"Everything ok?"
I ask and they both nod, things are still edgy with Sebe
"Come let me drive you back to res so you can get some real
sleep and a shower"
I look at Gugu and then at him
"Sebe will call us if there's any change"
He assures and Sebe nods.
.
.
-SEBENTILE
Mbali kisses Gugu's forehead before leaving. I sit where she
was and look at Gugu
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he looks more lively than yesterday.
"You should be up already Gugulezwe"
I say taking his not so warm hand into mine
"Your family is waiting for you, not to mention Mbali who's
miserable without you"
I really don't know what to say to him so I keep quiet until a
voice starts singing a song deep inside me, I start singing it to
him
"If it had not been for the Lord
Who was always by my side
The enemy would have swallowed us
Would have drowned in the waters
But our souls have found an escape
A hiding place in you
The fowler's snare is broken
Our help is in the name of the Lord..."
I'm disturbed by someone clearing their throat, I look up and
it's Gugu's mom pushed by her husband I assume. I get up
acknowledging their presence
"Sanibonani"
Gugu's mom just nods
"Molo ntombi, kunjani?"
The husband says
"Ngiyaphila baba, ninjani Nina?"
I say after the handshake one which Gugu's mom didn't
acknowledge
"Ukulila akusizi ntombi"
He says and I just nod, we stay in comfortable silence, I really
don't know what to say or do, the husband goes outside to
answer a call and I stand to say my goodbyes
"You do know that it's partly your fault"
Gugu's mother says
"Ma?"
What does she mean?
"Had you not been stubborn and stayed away from Sabelo we
wouldn't be here"
Wait, is she blaming me for Gugu's stabbing. I look at Gugu
then at her, does she really want her son to hear all this?
"Excuse me ma but I'm not sure I understand what you saying"
I say sitting back down, I don't want to seem disrespectful
talking to her on my feet
"This is punishment for you not listening"
How is it my punishment? Didn't I get punished by the Sabelo
incident?
"With all due respect ma, this is on Gugu"
I say and she chuckles
"I got my punishment for not listening and this has nothing to
do with me but Gugu himself, he also didn't listen and I don't
see how that is my fault"
I'm angry but I try my best not so sound disrespectful
"Well had you allowed the process in the first place we
wouldn't be here talking about this now would we?"
She's spitting fire, I sigh
"I think I should leave"
Before things get nasty
"And don't come back"
She says as I'm at the door, I turn to look at her and she's
looking at Gugu. My inner woman has already told her to get
off but Sebe won't, Twana didn't raise her to talk back to adults
no matter how pressing the matter is.
"I pray he gets better and so do you"
I say tears threatening to come out and I don't see Gugu's
father until I bump into him
"What's wrong?"
He says holding me at arms length and I shake my head
"Is Gugu okay?"
I nod
"Then what's wrong my child?"
I shake my head
"Excuse me"
I say barely above whisper and wiggle myself out his arms.
What did I ever do mara? That woman hates me, I thought she
was a good woman I mean she looks like one and how could
she even blame me for something she knows I have no control
over? At this point I seriously wish I never met Gugulezwe,
maybe my life would be so much better and easier.
41
-GUGULEZWE
Waking up to Sakhile and my parents is rather interesting, if it
were up to me Mbali would be sitting by my bedside.
"Where's Mbali?"
Is the first thing I ask after scanning the whole room
"She went to shower"
Sakhile says. I nod
"How are you?"
Mom asks
"I feel like I just rose from the dead. What happened?"
I ask
"You were stabbed and your mom gave you a kidney"
Dad says
"Thank you mom"
I say smiling at her
"My pleasure"
I turn to Sakhile
"Please call Mbali"
I say and he nods, walks out to make the call.
"Mom you were quite rude to Sebe"
I sigh at mom
"A day or two ago she wanted nothing to do with you and now
she's suddenly here? I don't get it."
I sigh
"Oh mom. It was for her own sanity mos. She needed time just
as I did"
Sakhile walks in and mom keeps quiet
"She's on her way"
I nod
"Thank you cuz"
My doctor walks in and observes me and then tells me to get
some rest but I assure her I'm good.
"Its nobody's fault. You shouldn't even have anything against
considering I was the stubborn one and didn't listen"
She huffs
"I don't hate her"
I scoff
"Could have fooled me"
She rolls her eyes
"I like Mbali because unlike Sebe she doesn't have and ex trying
to kill you. I'm a mother, my feelings towards her are
reasonable. This is the second time you landing in Hospital
because of her. Next time you won't be so lucky"
Mbali walks in. She's crusty with her puffy eyes, pink cheeks,
pouty lips, sweat pants and a vest with a jacket on. Just cute!
She greets noticing the tension. She throws herself into my
arms ignoring my parents. I chuckle, she's too cute
"I'm so glad you're awake"
She says crying on my shoulder
"If I had died, I know who would be sitting in the corner on a
sponge"
I joke and she breaks out of my arms remembering my parents
are both here
"Uhhm.. I'm sorry"
She says embarrassed and moving back
"No need, we understand"
Mom says, she's far too sweet towards Mbali.
"When did you wake up?"
She asks after having moved back, I'm not used to being this far
from her. It sucks!
"A couple of minutes ago. I was hoping you'd be the first face I
saw"
I say jokingly but theres truth to my joke, she tenses.
"She had to wash and rest, give her a break honey"
Mom defends
"Can I talk to Flower alone"
I say. The room is dead quiet. They all leave one by one. She's
still standing though I feel like she's about to collapse any
minute. She's so pale and fragile in just this little space.
"Come over here"
.
.
-MBALI
I'm woken by my phone ringing
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its a number I don't recognize. I quickly answer the call
"Mbali he's awake"
That's all he says before cutting the call on me, must be Sakhile.
I check my phone and I was only sleeping for 2 hours. I fix
myself and request an uber to the hospital. At least this time I
managed to eat something while I was getting ready. I walk in
and the air seems tense. The minute my eyes land on him I run
and throw myself in his arms
"I'm so glad you're awake"
I say crying in his arms
"If I had died, I know who would be sitting in the corner on a
sponge"
He jokes, I break out of his arms remembering his parents are
both here
"Uhhm.. I'm sorry"
I say embarrassed and moving back
"No need, we understand"
His mom says, she's far too sweet and Sebe will be a lucky
daughter in law
"When did you wake up?"
I'm not used to being this far from him. It sucks but its for the
best
"A couple of minutes ago. I was hoping you'd be the first face I
saw"
He says breaking my already broken heart
"She had to wash and rest, give her a break honey"
His mom defends
"Can I talk to Flower alone"
He says. The room is dead quiet. They all leave one by one. I'm
still standing though I feel like my legs are going to fail me
"Come over here"
He says, I shake my head. I can't
"Flower Please"
I shake my head though I'm going dizzy by doing this
"This by far the furthest you've been from me. Am I that ugly?"
He says trying to lighten up the mood
"You can never be ugly Gugu"
He chuckles
"Then prove it. Come closer"
That's manipulation right?
"Please Flower. We've never been this far apart"
He pleads
"We'll just have to learn to be Gugu."
I settle where Sakhile was sitting before. He looks at me shook
by my behavior.
"Things are different now"
I sigh and so does he.
"I am pregnant. Given the opportunity to choose between us
and our baby, I choose him or her"
He looks at me for a while
"Mbali what are you saying?"
He asks, I shrug
"That you better off with Sebe from hereon. This is no longer
about us"
He cuts me off
"exactly its not. It's about our baby who needs both parents"
Gugu shouts and that time I'm calm. He's hurt, he looks like he's
about to cry
"Our child needs both parents"
I shake my head
"Please don't make this any harder. We tried ignoring whatever
is pulling you and Sebe together and look where that got you?
You almost died Gugulezwe. I cannot stay with you any longer if
it means someone's life is in danger. Maybe next time it won't
he you here but me having lost our child for not listening. I
don't think I'd recover from losing a child and I think I'd hate
you cause I'd blame you. I don't want to hate you, I love you
too damn much. Please just let me go and be with Sebe"
I plead with his hand in mine, I'm stroking his knuckles.
"You breaking my heart"
He says. His voice is low and hoarse I'm even crying and so is he
"My heart is already broken. We can't be together. Sebe should
be here, not me. I love you Gugulezwe"
I say and kiss his parted speechless dry lips and leave him like
that, I literally run out bumping into someone.
42
-MBALI
"Everything Ok?"
Firm hands gripping my upper arms preventing my fall ask.
"Excuse me"
I say trying to break out of his grip but he doesn't let me
"Hey, hey. What's going on Snowflake?"
Inner me wants to laugh because he's the white one here and
not me
"I'm fine"
I sniff
"I'm a good listener"
Haibo nanku'umlungu engafun'ukund'yeka!(white guy doesn't
want to leave me alone)
I stare up at him with my glossy eyes. He brushes his thumbs
under my eyes and I involuntarily close my eyes allowing him to
wipe my tears away
"Its Ok Snowflake"
His voice so tender filled with so much worry
"I'm Ok. Thank you"
I say trying to walk away but he grabs my wrist. Did I mention
he smells so damn good with his musky scent, he's wearing a
lab coat.
"Dr Eric Hezog"
He introduces
"Mbali"
I say. I look up and my God! I didn't know white men could ever
look this yum... Well apart from those on TV of cause. He
literally looks like he just stepped out of a photoshoot with his
short black hair that is nicely cut. Hayini!!!
"That means Flower right?"
I just nod
"Nice meeting you Snowflake. And please don't ever cry again"
He says with pleading grey eyes that bore into my soul. I just
nod. He let's me go and I rush out. I request and soon the car is
here, I get to res and pay and make my way to my room. I meet
Sebe in the elevator.
"Hey"
Its just the two of us
"Hi"
She says coldly
"Can we talk? We can go to my place"
I offer, I don't normally use the elevator due to fear of confined
spaces. Yes I'm claustrophobic. I'm tense as we ride up
"Uhhm, Ok"
She says sounding uncertain. We stop at my floor and get off. I
open the door and tell her to get comfortable offering her
something to eat or drink and she opts for juice while I make
me a banana and bread sandwich.
"You going to eat that?"
She asks looking at what I'm preparing. I nod
"Its so nice"
I say handing her juice and I walking us to the lounge.
"Here have a bite"
She eyes me suspiciously but she takes it and bites
"Not bad I guess"
She says, I nod cause to me its life!
"I didn't see you at the hospital"
I start off and she cringes
"Did something happen? Did Gugu say something?"
Gugu has potential to say shiit to her hence I'm asking but she
shakes her head
"No, is he awake?"
I nod, I'm shocked by her reaction
"You didn't know? Sakhile didn't call you?"
She shakes her head no
"Is everything OK?"
She shrugs and let's out a sigh.
"His mother told me to leave and never come back, she blames
me"
She says and I can see the hurt in her eyes. I place a hand on
her knee
"I'm sure she doesn't, she's a mother and she's overprotective
of her cub. She's a nice woman"
Sebe chuckles sarcastically
"To you maybe. Mbali why am I here?"
She asks
"Sebe things are different now. Things have taken a weird
unexpected turn"
I say and she looks at me like I killed Jesus
"Mbali what are you talking about?"
I sigh
"Sebe this is bigger than any of us. I feel like now is the time for
you and him to work things out"
She chuckles, its not friendly at all. She looks at me and shakes
her head
"You can't be serious"
I involuntarily touch my belly and quickly remove my hand
hoping she didn't notice
"You love him, you were willing to donate a kidney for him. He
is your soulmate and I was a mere distraction holding him down
for you"
I say and she looks at me wide-eyed shocked
"Mbali not this again hle."
I cut her off
"Sebe you got hurt because you and Gugu didn't listen, he got
stabbed because he didn't listen. Who else must get hurt for
you two to realise that you are meant for each other? Who
should die in order for you to actually listen?"
.
.
-SEBENTILE
It still doesn't sit well with me that Gugu's mom feels like that
with me but it's okay she's hurt. I went to campus today
couldn't bare being in that flat alone since Khumo spends most
of her time with Marvin and I'm always alone and besides I'm
already two days behind which actually feels like a year two
even. I'm dragging myself to the cafeteria after two back to
back lectures
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my head feels like it's about to explode that information was
too much for this small head of mine, health wise I feel better
than the past few days though my heart is a bit heavy but I'm
better.
"You look like a zombie"
Bulo says joining me, I'm having a lime flavored milkshake
"I feel like one"
I say taking my milkshake from her and she laughs
"Is it school?"
I shake my head then nod again
"Which one is it my love?"
I sigh
"It's both"
Wait lemme get myself a milkshake, she bought bubblegum
flavored milkshake
"Talk"
She says taking the straw into her mouth
"I missed two days of school that's why and there's so much to
catch up on "
She eyes me
"And?"
I know she wants me to continue
"And nothing"
I say focusing on my drink
"Stop lying, what's really eating you?"
She asks with her motherly tone
"Gugu's mother hates me"
I blurt out
"And why do you care?"
She says with an attitude
"Hhaybo Nonjabulo"
I warn
"Even if you can call me by my full name I won't change my
question. Why does it bother you?"
How do I make her understand?
"You do know she's my future mother in law?"
She rolls her eyes
"Right now she isn't and honestly fuck her if she doesn't like
you, Sebe you derseve all the love in the world and you the
most lovable person I know. It's her loss if she doesn't see
that"
She says holding my hands in hers, Gosh I have the best best
friend ever
"Thanks babe but still it.."
She cuts me off
"I don't want to hear it, enough about her. I missed you friend"
She says pouting
"I missed you too my love, come to my flat for supper I'll cook"
I say and she squels
"Haven't tasted your cooking in like forever"
I smile
"I've got a class to catch see you later"
She kisses my cheek then leaves, I take my stuff and head back
to rest. I bump into Mbali in the elevator and she invites me to
her flat. She starts with her breaking up with Gugu shit and her
last question gets to me.
"It won't get to that but Mbali I'm done with this soul mate shit,
I'm not about to be in a relationship with someone who's heart
belongs to someone else. I can't put myself through that and I
refuse to"
She sighs blinking aways tears
"Sebe I'm begging you please consider this it's what's best for
everyone"
She pleads
"Tell that to your man. And besides why are you so keen on
getting me and Gugu together cause I know you love him."
I know it's not just about the stabbing
"Will you stop being stubborn for once and listen?"
She shouts and I quint my eyes
"Sorry, but I almost lost Gugu and I know if we continue with
this we'll lose him forever and I'd rather he be with you"
Did she say we?
"Who do you mean by we?"
She almost chokes on her sandwich, I give her water
"Are you okay?"
I ask and she nods
"I mean everyone"
There's more to this, I nod
"Please Sebe do this"
I stand up
"I'll see you around Mbali take care"
I'm not playing this game again. If the forces really want me and
Gugu to be together they have to wait a minute, I need a break
from everything even this soulmate stuff.
43
-GUGULEZWE
I grew up in a loving home with both my parents. Black parents
aren't that affectionate but mine could be every now and then.
The love shared between them is something I've witnessed and
wanted for myself.
Mbali falling pregnant was never part of the plan but what plan
was there anyway? I mean I've never been in charge of my life
so whoever is knows what they want. If it were up to me Mbali
and I would raise this child together in a loving home but she
broke it off with me out of fear. Where to from here?
Fuck Mbali makes me weak, she makes me look weak. Making
me cry and shiit! I sit there thinking about my life, will Sebe
even want to be with me? What am I supposed to do?
"Hey baby"
Mom says driving in in a wheelchair
"How are you mom?"
I ask because I'm worried. I literally feel nothing where my
operation is and she looks like she's in pain.
"I'll get there eventually"
She says
"How are you?"
I shrug at her question. I'm drained emotionally
"You knew"
She looks at me confused
"You knew that she'd break up with me and that she's carrying
my child"
She looks at me with eyes full of pity
"It was not my place to tell you anything"
I chuckle
"Funny cause it was not your place to go off at Sebe but you
still did anyway!"
She takes my hand but I pull it away
"A baby is involved. Nothing is written in stone mother, your
God or whatever would deny a child of a loving home with
loving parents?"
She shrugs. I'm so mad I'm even yelling
"Honey calm down"
She says calmly
"No! I need answers! I need to understand! Destiny needs to
change!"
I say and she doesn't respond to me. I sigh
"Well whoever is in charge got what they wanted, Mbali broke
up with me"
She doesn't say anything and let me be. I don't know when I fell
asleep but I'm woken up by my phone ringing, Mbali left it
before she left. I check the screen, its Flower.
"Hey"
She says and she sounds like she wants to continue but stopped
herself
"Hey Flower"
I say
"Gugu you need to talk to Sebe"
I chuckle, its sarcastic
"I'd rather talk to you"
She sighs loud enough
"You pregnant"
I let out in a very low voice almost a whisper
"5/6 weeks"
I just nod
"Where to from here?"
I ask
"We do whatever we can not to be together and take care of
this baby"
I sigh
"I want to be there for my child"
I say sternly this time, voice firm
"I want that too but we can't piss off whatever forces that want
you and Sebe together"
She explains
"I love this baby, I don't care when or how it came and I will do
everything to protect it even if it means studying elsewhere"
She says and the thought of not being there for her makes me
cringe
"If that's what you want"
I say defeated
"Look. Figure things out, call Sebe and talk to her. You can tell
her about the pregnancy if you like but she cannot tell anyone
about it. Its way too early in my pregnancy to be dealing with
other people"
I'm guessing she's talking about Bulo, I also don't trust that she
wouldn't share her opinion about everything to Mbali and
would probably blame her for my and Sebe's mistakes.
"I'll talk to her"
"Bye Gugu"
She says and drops the call on me.
I dial Sebe's number and it rings. I don't know what to expect,
what do I even call her?
"Hello?"
She says sounding unsure
"Hey cuddles"
I mentally smack myself for that. Couldn't I go with Sebe?
.
.
-SEBENTILE
I cooked chicken gizzarss and pap didn't feel like anything fancy
so.
"I'm so glad you done man I'm starving"
Bulo says getting in throwing her bag on the counter and sitting
on the high chair
"Hello to you too"
I say and she rolls her eyes
"I saw you earlier can you please dish up? Thank you"
She's too much
"Was your class that bad?"
She shakes her head
"Not at all, Sakhile hasn't called today"
She says sulking and I laugh
"Ya'll have nice life problems neh"
I hand her her plate and sit next to her
"This is serious Sebe"
I chuckle
"He'll call he's probably busy with Gugu"
That name leaves a bitter taste in my mouth
"I suppose but a how are you text wouldn't have killed him"
I shake my head
"Don't get mad at him over this"
She stuffs her mouth
"Nonjabulo"
I warn
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I know her
"I can't promise anything"
She says looking the other way and I chuckle
"Speaking of Gugu, did you go to him today? Is he awake?"
I nod
"I didn't go to him but Mbali told me he's awake"
She frowns
"Mbali? When?"
I sigh
"Today, when I got back. Ungibitile watsi ucela kukhuluma nami
wacala lomsangano wakhe wokutsi ngitsandzane naGugu" (She
called me to her place and started her me dating Gugu
nonsense)
I say trying to sound as calm as possible
"I hope you told her to go jump off the nearest bridge"
I chuckle
"I'm done with this Gugu drama Bulo honestly, I'm tired of it
and I feel as if there's something Mbali wanted to tell me but
she couldn't"
It was probably huge
"What was that?"
She says and I go attend the door since there was a knock
"I don't know babes, ohh hey"
I give Marvin a hug and let him in, he got a relationship with the
securities I don't know what he promised them but they now
let him in without signing in
"Long time"
I say
"Long time indeed, can you dish up for me? I'm hungry"
I laugh
"Ya'll think this is a restaurant neh?"
I say taking out a plate
"I heard your cooking is the bomb so I can't miss an opportunity
to taste it. Where's my wife?"
I smile
"I'm sure she's on her way back, she had a late class"
Bulo says and he nods. My phone rings and I attend to it
"Hello?"
I answer, I saw it's Gugu's numbers just not sure it's him
"Cuddles"
He says and I feel my heart dancing, it's betraying me yaboh
"Gugulezwe"
I respond
"How are you?"
I sigh
"What do want Gugulezwe?"
He keeps quiet for a while
"We need to talk, can you come see me?"
Not this again
"Tomorrow"
I say and I hear him sigh
"It's good with me, tomorrow it is"
He says and I hang up can't prolong this phone call. Marvin and
Bulo are looking at me like I've got ice-cream on my hands
"What?"
I say since they just staring at me
"What does he want?"
Marvin asks
"To see me"
I clear the table
"Why?"
I shrug and walk away
"Hhaybo Sebe"
Bulo says
"Can't we not discuss Gugu for just two minutes?"
I snap, seriously I'm tired of my life revolving around Gugu, yes I
love him but he doesn't love me then why am I suppose to be
entertaining him? I leave Bulo and Marvin in the kitchen and go
take a shower, I don't undress but get under the cold water.
44
GUGULEZWE
Yoh!
I've never met anyone more stubborn than me!
Sebentile Phetsile Dlamini will make you drive off a fxcking cliff
yeses! Argh I don't even get why I'm so mad, maybe its her
attitude. All I'm tryna do is to make sure that nothing happens
to Mbali and my child. I sure hope its a boy. I can't imagine
having a daughter in this cruel world though I would like a mini
version of Mbali but with the world we live in and the things
girls go through, a boy will do. I sigh, my life is messed up.
My uncle walks in, what's he doing here? Its Sakhile's father.
"Omphi"
I greet in visible shock in my voice, he chuckles
"Gugu hi, how are you?"
I shrug
"Better than I should, you?"
He looks at me stunned but quickly masks it
"I'm also good thank you. I thought I should come and see you"
I nod
"thanks for the visit and the food"
He smiles politely
"How are you and Sebe?"
I look at him confused, what does he know? He notices my
confusion and chuckles
"You don't remember? That night when you dreamt you were
in church and I was preaching? You saw me and I saw you"
I try to think and it comes back to me. I look at him still
unanswered
"Son how often do you pray?"
I chuckle, he glares at me
"I'll take that as not often. Things need to change from hereon"
I don't know what to make of this conversation but its annoying
me. All I'd like is two minutes without talking about Phetsile!
"I get it, its annoying. Not knowing, having dreams dictate your
life. At some point I was you"
I can't hide my shock, he and aunt seem so in love
"I had my own Mbali. Beautiful girl, almost perfect and her
personality was everything"
He says smiling
"I also had forces dictating my life, I didn't listen and she ended
up dying because of my stupidity. After her death I hated God,
hated him for taking her away from me at such a young age but
a friend of mine convinced me to seek solace in that same God.
I knew Sakhile's mother, had met her on occasion but marrying
a Xhosa girl was not on my agenda. The stubnornness and all
that comes with being Xhosa was not gonna cut it for me but
what choice did I have?"
He chuckles probably thinking about aunt
"It wasn't easy at first, I had to fight tooth and nail for us to be
together"
I look at him, the look in his eyes as he thinks of my aunt is that
of love
"How did you guys end up together then?"
He chuckles
"Freshman year, we met again at a party. It was nice, she was
there with her roommate, I asked her for time alone and she
refused but her roommate sold her out and left us alone. She
wasn't happy"
I chuckle, my aunt can be very feisty.
"I know, she was flat out giving me attitude. She blamed me for
her friend's death"
I frown confused
"Your aunt and Noma were best friends. She and I knew fate
wanted us together but being a guy I went for Noma because at
least she wasn't Xhosa and wouldn't make my life difficult"
I chuckle
"Mbali is half Xhosa and she doesn't make my life difficult"
He chuckles
"I know but Gugu you are lucky, Mbali still lives and as long as
you obey she or your baby won't come to any kind of harm"
He says with so much certainty
"You sound certain?"
He nods
"Yes I am certain. Go to church, pray often and things will fall
into place"
He says getting up
"Get well Ok? I'll keep praying for you both"
I just nod. Now what? Where do I even start to pray?
My doctor comes for a check up and she believes I'm good. I
ask she discharge me now but she refuses. This one doesn't
know me. I call Sakhile and he tells me he's on his way to
Pretoria, apparently Bulo is mad at him for no reason. Some
people have nice life problems. Worse my cousin was writing
today, a 6 hour paper. Nonjabulo is not being fair, she thinks
Sakhile's life revolves around her. I try to nap, an hour later I'm
woken up by Sakhile.
"Here are the things you asked for"
I nod
"thanks cuz"
I get out of bed with a bit of struggle. The kidney wound is fine,
its the other wound that hurts. I changed into my clothes and
we leave
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I'll be back but Sebe and I need to talk. We get to school and
take a lift to Sebe's floor. I'm tempted to stop and see Mbali but
she made it pretty clear that she's done. We get off on Sebe's
floor and walk to her door. I knock and she answers, I spot Bulo
in the kitchen.
"Gugu you supposed to be in hospital"
She says in Swati shocked to see me
"But I'm here"
Bulo's shooting daggers at me with her eyes
"What are you doing here? Haven't you put Sebe through
enough? Just leave"
She snarls at me in Swati
"I'm not here to see you! Futhi that's very rich coming from
considering the fact that you bully my cousin every chance you
get. Sakhile has a life outside your relationship, his course is
just as demanding. Get off your fxcken high horse and realize
that life does not revolve around you!"
I fire back, they both shocked but Bulo is mostly angry at what I
just said
"I'm here to see Sebe and not you!"
I say and she's about to respond when Sakhile shows up beside
me. I left him answering his phone
"Phetsile may we talk, in private"
I say that glaring at Bulo. Sebe opens and let's us in, she leads
us to her room
"What do you want Gugulezwe?"
She says sternly pouting
"Look, this is beyond us! A baby is involved now and if we
continue playing mouse and rat, that baby might die"
She looks at me jaw on the floor
"Mbali is pregnant?"
She says shocked, I nod
"I love her Sebe and at this point I am willing to do whatever it
takes to make sure none of them get hurt in whatever this is
supposed to be. I'm not trying to manipulate you into a
relationship with me but all I ask of you is that we try and make
this work before other people end up getting hurt in the
process. I care about you a lot and I'm sure loving you won't be
hard to do"
I plead, this is for my unborn child.
"Think about it and when you've reached a decision call me"
I say getting up from the bed
"Also please keep Mbali's pregnancy to yourself, your friends
especially don't need to know"
I say and walk to her door
.
.
-SEBENTILE
I feel someone picking me up, I must have fallen asleep in the
shower by the scent I can tell it's Samkelo, when did he get
here?
“You can't do this to yourself Sebentile"
He says wrapping me up with a towel
"You'll catch a cold, I'll go make you some hot chocolate while
you change those clothes"
He leaves and I stay in one place thinking about how fucked up
my life is right now, I just want to wake up and this is all over. I
strip naked and get into my bunny onesie then get into bed.
Samkelo comes back after a while
"Get up and drink here"
He gets into the blankets too
"Thanks"
I smile faintly and he returns it. He watches me as I drink when I
finish he pulls me to him and says nothing still, this is what I
want someone to be there just there nothing more. I fell asleep
in his arms and when I wake up Bulo is by my side checking the
time it's after 8 in the morning, better cause my classes start at
1. I get and go take a bath when I come back Bulo is already up
"Babes"
I greet her
"I'm sorry about yesterday"
She says
"What happened yesterday?"
I know what happened yesterday but I don't want to make her
feel bad she was just being there for me as always
"Angitsi Marvin and I..."
I cut her off
"Don't, I remember what happened don't beat yourself up I'm
over it"
I give her a smile
"That's why I get worried about you"
I turn to look at her
"What do you mean?"
I ask
"I mean one minute you okay like super okay the next your
world has been crushed but a second later it's like it has never
happened"
It's true
"Why dwell on things that don't make you happy?"
I take my phone
"I'll make you some cereal"
I say and she laughs
"I thought you'd say a full English breakfast"
This time I laugh at her. She goes to the bathroom to brush her
teeth and finds me in the kitchen. We about to sit down when
there's a knock and Bulo attends to it, turns out it's Gugu.
Thought I was going to him in hospital cause last I checked he
wasn't discharged. Him and Bulo are at each other's throats as
alwaysml. We go to my room to talk leaving Sakhile and Bulo in
the kitchen.
I know now the devil is testing me, marn everything is not
working out for me it's getting too much. I don't know what
hurts the most the fact that the guy I love loves someone else
or that he wants to be in a relationship with me so he can
protect the girl he loves. Bulo gets in just after Gugu leaves
"What did he want?"
Tears fill my eyes
"Can I borrow you my life? Even if it's just for a mere second I
won't mind I just can't be me right now"
I say breaking down and she rushes to embrace me
"Ever since I met Gugu my life has just went down the drain, it's
like I'm not in control of it anymore. Just when I thought I've
found balance these damn forces just want to control my life.
I'm tired!"
Her embrace on me tightens
"Sebe"
She says her voice breaking I know she's about to cry, she hates
seeing me cry I think that's her worst fear seeing me at my
worst since I'm the one who's always strong.
"He wants us to try being in a relationship"
Cause he doesn't want to lose Mbali and his unborn child
"Why the sudden change of heart?"
I shrug
"Maybe cause of the stabbing, I don't know"
I hate lying to her but I know if I tell her what exactly
transpired, Gugu wouldn't make it to the entrance
"Do you want to try?"
She asks
"Honestly no, not right now"
I say, yes it's good that he wants to try but what hurts is that it's
not because he wants to but because he doesn't have a choice
"Did you tell him that?"
I shake my head no
"He said he'll give me time to think about it, but even so I feel I
don't have a choice in the matter"
I say almost defeated
"Why do you think that?"
She asks
"Well for one someone is busy dictating our lives and if we
don't do as told someone gets hurt"
I say
"Makes sense but how do you feel about that?"
I sigh
"Angati Nonjabulo ngoba Gugu utsandza Mbali lokho wonkhe
muntfu uyakwati. Lentfo yokutsi ngitophila estfutini saMbali
ayingiphatsi kahle iyangibulala futsi" (I don't know Nonjabulo
because Gugu loves Mbali everyone knows that. What kills me
is that I'd have to live under Mbali's shadow)
A text comes through on my phone I check it it's from Samkelo
"I'm taking you to school, don't argue and don't forget to pray"
I chuckle
"Who's that?"
Bulo asks peeping
"None of your business"
I say
"Ohh it's like that now?"
I laugh she's so jealous
"It's Samkelo"
"What's going on between you guys vele?"
"We just friends"
She nods
"Kissing friends neh"
I laugh
"Not at all, enough about me how did it go with Sakhile?"
She sighs heavily
"Well we talked and talked and talked so all is well. Gugu's
words hit home"
I nod
"I did tell you though seems you wanted to hear it harsher to
get it"
"My problem is Sakhile doesn't talk to me, he doesn't tell me
things. I'm not psychic I won't know what's keeping him if he
doesn't tell me."
I laugh she's lashing out at me now
"Did you tell him that"
She nods
"That's settled then nawe stop being a baby and sulk each time
things don't go your way"
I say
"It always works moc"
I laugh
"Not for long, Sakhile will eventually get tired of running here
each time things don't go your way. Meet the poor guy half way
hle"
"So you now team Sakhile?"
I chuckle
"I'm not team anyone. Just telling my friend whom I love so
much the truth"
45
-GUGULEZWE
After my talk to Sebe, I'd say with but it was one sided. I meet
Sakhile and Bulo in the kitchen. If looks could kill I'd be long
dead with how she's looking at me. She kisses Sakhile bye and
leaves us together.
"So how'd it go?"
He asks as we walk out, I sigh
"Its all up to her now"
I say, he's confused
"I can't tell you anything at this moment. You and Bulo good?"
He shrugs
"She doesn't understand bruh. I'm trying here and feels like
she's not willing to meet me halfway. I mean what must I do in
order to always keep her happy? I give her my time, I'm here
booking a fxcking bnb every weekend just to spend it with her,
the minute I miss her call its an issue or soon as I don't talk to
her for a couple of hours she throws a fit."
He sighs
"I'm only human, I can only take so much. If she doesn't want
this to work then we might as well end it. I'm tired of constantly
driving back and forth for her"
He says sound defeated. We inside the lift and it pulls up on
Mbali's floor.
"She's a girl, communication is key"
He shakes his head
"Comm... Flower hi"
He says unexpectedly and I look up and here she is with her
flatmate, she's just as shocked to see me
"Sakhile, Gugu"
She greets
"Hey"
I say to both with a wave
"You out early, its been what? 3 days right?"
Her flatmate says and I chuckle
"I needed to see someone"
I say eyeing Mbali who looks down
"If we weren't in an elevator going down, we'd give you guys
some space"
She says nudging Mbali, I guess she hasn't told her
"I'm guessing you guys are going to class?"
I say breaking the awkward tension
"Yeah, we early because of her"
Mbali says nodding toward her flatmate
"If we sit at the back you won't hear properly! Plus our lecturer
is a sight for sore eyes"
We all laugh as the lift stops. Mbali rushes out first but I grab
her arm
"Meet you in the car"
Sakhile says walking with Mbali's friend
"Gugu"
She says as soon as they are out of reach
"Please Mbali"
I plead, she sighs
"I want to be there for you and our child"
She looks at me
"How did it go with Sebe?"
I look at her, she really goin ignore what I just said?
"Haibo Mbali?"
She shrugs
"Gugu you supposed to focus on Sebe. I have your parents
support on this, your mother calls me every night to make sure
I'm Ok. So focus on Sebe please"
She says and breaks away from me.
"Fine"
We walk to the car, I open the door for her and she slides in. I
slide in after her. Sakhile is busy laughing and pretty much
flirting with Lerato who's sitting in front. Bulo wouldn't like this!
We drop them off and back to the hospital.
"You and Rato were flirting"
He chuckles
"She's cute and all but she's not Nonjabulo"
I chuckle
"But if she saw you getting all friendly she'd throw a bitch fit.
Already you walking on thin ice"
He shrugs
"If she acts up again I'm dumping her to teach her a lesson. She
needs to understand that my life does not revolve around her"
He says and I don't respond. I just hope his tactic works
because Bulo doesn't seem like one to beg a man. He drops me
off and I sneak back into my room like nothing happened.
.
.
-SEBENTILE
"You look better than last night"
Samkelo says as soon I get into his car and I chuckle
"Trust me I feel worse"
He frowns
"What's happening infact what happened?"
I sigh
"Can we talk about it after class?"
Gugu has ruined my day already
"Who told you you'll see me after class?"
He says with a smirk
"Cause I know you can't stay away from me"
He cracks up
"Aren't we full of ourselves"
I laugh sticking my tongue out
"It's great seeing you laugh"
He just had to spoil the moment
"Seriously, I haven't seen the happy in you a while infact I
hardly see this side of you"
I sigh
"Life hasn't been exactly bed and roses"
I say heaving a sigh
"You do know you can do something about it right?"
I look at him
"What do you mean?"
We already at campus but I've got 30 minutes before my class
starts
"Sebe I long told you to start praying, some well most of the
answers to the questions you have you'll get them there"
I look at him
"I don't know when last I prayed
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I don't think I even remember how it's done"
I say
"You won't know until you try, go to class I'll see you later"
He says opening the door for me from inside
"Hawu you already throwing me out?"
I say laughing
"You'll be late for class chubby cheeks"
He says and I laugh
"Bye"
I say after kissing his cheek, I bump into Didi short for Didintle
who's my classmate and we sLj together to class. I had two
classes today and I've just come out of the last one and I find
Samkelo already waiting for me.
"Is that your man?"
Didi asks as she sees me walking to him
"Yeah he is"
I say nodding
"Yooh mogurl your man is hot hle, where did you find him?
Does he has brothers or maybe cousins or friends hot like him?"
She says fanning herself and I laugh, how do I attract such?
"How about you ask him yourself?"
I say and she stops on her feet
"Let's go"
She's suddenly quiet
"Chubby cheeks"
He gives me a hug
"And who's this beautiful lady?"
She blushes, lord
"Didintle but we call her Didi"
I say and she nods, doesn't she know how to speak now?
"Samkelo"
He says shaking her hand maintaining eye contact
"Can we leave?"
I ask breaking the eye to eye they have on
"We can drop you off, where do you stay?"
Samkelo asks, ehh moguy is whipped
"Varsity Lodge"
She finally speaks
"You'll direct us"
He says opening the door for her. We drop her off after they
promise to see each whenever.
"Where are we going?"
I ask seeing we not going to my res
"My place"
He says not even looking at me
"Why?"
He looks at me
"You'll see"
He says then focuses on the road
"Ehh you want to kidnap me?"
He laughs
"You are funny"
And that is it he doesn't say anything else. I click my tongue and
he laughs irritating me more. We get to his place and he parks
then gets out the car I don't budge, he comes and opens my
door
"Are you coming?"
He asks and I keep quiet
"O nale drama hle"(You have drama)
He says laughing and I don't
"Should I help you up or you messed yourself up?"
He says still laughing
"Fuck off"
I hit him with my bag, he ducks
"Come, we don't have all night"
I fold my arms
"Okay have it your way"
He says picking me up and I scream
"Put me down Samkelo!"
I shout hitting his back since he has me over his shoulder like a
sack of potatoes, he doesn't budge me puts me down once we
inside
"I hate you"
I say fixing my top
"I love you too"
He says and we both crack up until someone clears their throat,
when I turn yerr such a beautiful person, her beauty has
presence.
"Uhm babe this is Sebe the girl I told you about, chubby cheeks
this is my woman"
I'm tongue tied
"Mbaliyothando, but most people call me Thando"
She says and I nod, so many introductions today
"You didn't tell me you taken wena"
I say hitting Samkelo's shoulder
"You are a abuser"
He says and I stuck my tongue out
"I made dinner come"
Thando says
"And she can cook, wow"
I say to a blushing Samkelo here, like people weren't just flirting
a few minutes ago. We have dinner over some conversations
and I must say Thando is a great girl and I'm glad they made me
forget about the Gugu issue, for once in a while a had a
conversation that doesn't involve him or us. But I know it's not
over yet but one evening won't hurt right?
46
-MBALI
It's been a week since I last saw Gugu. I've been avoiding
everything that has to do with him except his parents. I heard
he got discharged yesterday, thank God! His mom as asked to
meet me for lunch, I don't know what to expect of her. She's
sweet but she scares me. I've tried to look my best, tried to not
look pregnant and miserable. I walk into Panarottis and she's
sitting alone pressing her phone.
"Mah"
I say, she smiles looking up at me. She gets out of the booth to
hug me
"How are you? You look cute"
We break the hug
"Thank you Mah. I am getting there, how are you?"
I ask as we settle down opposite each other
"Glad to be out of there and sitting with you"
I blush
"We'll be leaving today"
She says
"That's sad, how does Gugu feel about you leaving?"
She chuckles
"He can't wait because then he can mess with that Sebentile
girl"
I sigh
"Oh mah! Sebe is a great girl. She's the perfect daughter in law"
She shakes her head
"If it weren't for her my son wouldn't have been stabbed! If it
weren't for her drama with her ex boyfriend none of this would
have happened. Gugu told her time and time again to stay
away from that boy but she didn't listen"
I let out a deep breath
"You can't blame Sebe for everything. Both she and Gugu are to
blame. Maybe even both of us"
She glares at me
"Mah I shouldn't have dated Gugu or slept with him in the first
place. You know your son better, he's stubborn, you could have
found a better approach to helping him and guiding him to
what should be"
She sighs, she looks up at me and smiles
"I guess you have a point"
I nod with my own smile
"I do. Please, get to know Sebe and trust me. You will love her"
I say touching her hand
"We'll see. Have you told your mom?"
I pull my hand away and shake my head no
"I can't tell her. She'll see for herself when I go home"
She gasps in shock
"Mbali!"
I shake my head
"Mah where do I even start?"
I say with defeat in my voice
"The beginning is always the best place to start"
I chuckle sarcastically
"I can already imagine that conversation. Hey mom, I'm
pregnant, yes the father is someone whose fate lies with
someone else"
I mock and she laughs
"Oh honey, it can't be that bad"
I shake my head
"Mom won't be as understanding as you are"
I say and she just nods. We call a waiter to order. He leaves us
to continue with our conversation.
"Get to know Sebe, you'll love her"
I say and she shakes her head, I see where Gugu gets it from.
"I can't be putting my pride aside for some girl"
I chuckle
"That girl is your future daughter in law"
I say and she chuckles as realization sets in
"You know I'm right. Sebe is not the bad guy here. Like me and
Gugu she's a chess piece in whatever game is being played"
She just nods. I really hope she'll reach out to Sebe and play
nice. She's a nice person, my baby is lucky.
.
.
-SEBENTILE
So Gugu gave me the week to decide if I want to take a chance
and give us an opportunity and trust me it has been the longest
week of my life literally I've been dreading today, the day I
finally give my answer well I've been dreading it because I still
haven't made a decision.
"You ready?"
Khumo asks getting into my room, we going out for a catch up
session with Samkelo and Marvin. We haven't seen them the
whole week the reason why is a story for another day.
"Almost"
I say putting on my sneakers
"Stand up"
I look at her
"I wanna see how you look"
I laugh then stand
"Damn girl you look fine!360 aseemblief"
I'm in a denim short, a vest tucked in
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a shirt over my waist and a cap over my braids. I look different
thanks to Khumo
"I feel as if these shorts are too short"
She rolls her eyes
"That's why are they called shorts"
I'm about to say something when she raises her hand
"I don't want to hear it, let's go they outside"
She says dragging me by my hand
"Wait lemme get my things"
She lets go
"Two minutes"
She says sternly and I laugh. I take my side and put the
necessities, lock my room. Before heading out.
"I missed you"
Samkelo says hugging me no scratch that squeezing me
"Man you have a girlfriend"
Marvin says separating us to hug me
"So? I'm not suppose to miss my baby?"
Samkelo says and I can't help but blush
"Batlo go tlala" (You'll get dumped"
Marvin says and we all laugh
"That's okay, my girl knows that Chubby cheeks comes first"
He says pinching my cheeks
"Aren't I one lucky girl?"
He hugs me again then opens the door for me, they came with
Marvin's car so he's the driving. Samkelo and I settle in the back
while the couple takes the front. We go to Menlyn for bowling
"This is white man shit bruh"
Samkelo says, well he's been complaining the whole time like
they not the ones who asked which games we want to play
"Tell me about it"
His friend replies
"You guys can leave there's no problem"
Khumo says irritated
"Ahh come on baby we just joking"
Sam and I both laugh
"Mxm"
She says and Marvin kisses her several times and she's a
blushing mess
"You two are cute hle"
I say looking at them, they stop kissing
"Thank you"
We continue playing, it's us me and Sam against the couple and
of course we win cause these two were so caught up on each
other. We having late lunch at Rocco Mommas Hatfield.
"What's the latest on you and Gugu?"
Samkelo says and I roll my eyes
"Today's my due date"
I stay taking the chicken into my mouth, these are fire not like
Chicken licken's but the best also
"Meaning?"
Marvin asks and I look at Khumo she shakes her head, thought
she told him
"Well Gugu gave me a week to decide if I want to try us or not"
I say
"And have you decided?"
I shake my head no
"Sebentile"
Samkelo warns
"I know but I'll decide on my way to him, there's a lot to
consider here"
I say
"Alot? Like what?"
Khumo asks, I didn't tell them the pregnancy part
"You know Gugu loves Mbali and the thought of being in her
shadow is making me think twice"
I say honestly
"Makes sense but you do know it's fate"
I roll eyes
"Don't roll your eyes at me woman"
Marvin warns and I chuckle
"I'm just tired of hearing about this fate shit"
I spit
"And she now swears"
Samkelo jumps in making fun of the situation as always. A
message notification comes through I check it it's from Gugu.
"Where are you?"
It reads, I check the time and there's still an hour before our
meet up
"Rocco Mommas"
I reply
"It's him right?"
I sigh involuntarily and they laugh
"We'll be here for you anytime"
Marvin assures, my phone beeps again
"I'll be there in a few"
This guy is not patient hle. We continue talking about random
stuff till he texts that he's here, I look around for and spot him
coming to us.
"Afternoon"
He greets
"Afternoon"
They reply in unison, I get up
"Thanks for today guys I needed it"
Samkelo stands up to hug me, this guy loves hugging me am I
that huggable?
"I love you"
He hears in my ear
"I love you too"
I say it back pulling out the hug
"Marvin, Khumo"
I say then we leave with a rather grumpy Gugu and I'm not
about to ask what's up. We walk to his res in silence
"Anything to drink?"
He asks as I'm settled in his bedroom
"No thanks"
I say
"Okay, I'll be right back"
I don't know why we didnt talk in the common room or even on
our way here, he comes back with a pack of sour worms my
favorite.
"So?"
He says. No hi sebe how are you sebe
"Manners Gugu"
I mumble
"How have you been?"
He's not bothered
"We can try"
I mutter fast enough before my mind changes
47
-GUGULEZWE
Its been a hectic week, I'm back in school and had to catch up
with everything I missed. Tests and everything. My parents left,
thank God but apparently Mom met up with Mbali earlier on
and they had quite an interesting conversation such that she's
coming around with the Sebe thing. She said it herself that Sebe
and I are meant to be so there's no coming in between us. In
Xhosa we having a saying "akho mini ibekwa ingafiki". The day
I've been waiting for. Mostly scared of is finally here. Today
Sebe gives me a response. I shouldn't go see Mbali but I need
advice. She's agreed to meet me for lunch outside campus.
"You look stressed"
She says settling on the seat opposite mine. We at McDonald,
she was craving for a McFlurry and nuggets and a fold over... If I
spoke she'd give me hell. I've already bought everything for her
and got myself a big Mac meal.
"Thank you. I needed this"
She says digging in her McFlurry. She's happy and seeing her
this happy makes me happy.
"I'm scared"
I say and she looks at me waiting
"Of?"
She asks, I shrug
"Sebe. I don't know what to expect from her. I didn't give her
much of a choice the last time we spoke"
She looks at me stuffing her tiny mouth with a spoonful of ice-
cream cream soda something.
"Flower"
She chuckles
"If this is going to work then the last thing I want to hear about
is you and your girlfriend. You not being fair, you being
inconsiderate of my feelings Gugu"
She says with so much sternness in her voice
"I know I pushed you to her and agreed to try this friendship
thing for the sake of our Bambino but respect me enough"
She says and I just nod with an apologetic look
"Look, deep down you know you feel something for Sebe.
Maybe if you spent more time with her you'll remember what
you one felt for her. I mean once you love someone, you don't
just stop. Sebe loves you, treat her right, win her over and your
relationship will be smooth"
She says
"Except I'll have blue balls now"
We both crack up and laugh
"Wow! Good to know my baby daddy won't be hoe'ing"
She says laughing at me
"Can't I at least come for quickies? Heard pregnant women
crave a lot of sex"
We both laugh
"You know I'd love that but Gugu you can't put her through
what Sabelo put her through"
She lectures and I roll my eyes at her
"You were much fun when we were dating"
I say throwing a fry at her and she giggles
"Ouch!"
We continue chatting and she actually calms me down a little.
For a minute I even forget. I request her an uber an text Sebe.
She tells me where she is and I go fetch her.
Nerves kick in the minute we get to my room, I don't know
what to expect from her. I bring us something to snack on, I'm
shocked by her response
"What are you saying Sebe?"
I ask making sure I heard her correctly
"That let's try this thing and see what happens"
I nod slowly
"And Mbali?"
She sighs
"I have no choice where she's concerned. She's carrying your
child Gugu and I can't be the evil girlfriend who denies you a
chance with your child but Gugu I can't be playing second best.
I understand you in love with Mbali but if I'm going to be your
girlfriend, you gonna have to treat me like I'm your girlfriend. I
also understand you are used to sex, I'm a virgin and I will not
loose my virginity due to pressure. You have needs? Use your
hands. No-ones ever died from not having sex"
I chuckle but nod anyway
"May I speak now?"
She nods stuffing her mouth with a sweet
"You're scary! I hear everything you saying
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does this mean no oral sex at least?"
-SEBENTILE
I'm taken aback by his question
"Well we'll see about that"
I say and he chuckles
"Sebe be clear, by no sex you mean no to any form of sex or?"
Why is he making this harder? It's already awkward talking
about sex
"Maybe oral wouldn't be so bad"
He laughs like genuinely so
"You so innocent"
He says and I don't know if he means well or not
"Uhm let me go then"
I say
"Can't you stay for longer?"
He asks, I might as well
"Can I have those?"
I say, he's about so ask when he realizes I'm looking at his hand.
He chuckles
"I knew you were eying them"
He hands them to me
"Thanks"
We sit in silence for a few minutes, I'm really not sure what to
say and I think that's the case for him too. We've been through
a lot since we came here
"Do you have the Kissing Booth?"
I ask
"Huh?"
The silence was getting too much
"The movie"
I say
"Ohh lemme check, you wanna watch it?"
He asks taking his laptop on top of the study table and comes
with it next to me. I'm sitting on top of his bed and he was on
the chair
"Yah heard it's nice"
He nods browsing through his laptop
"Found it, do you have a USB?"
He asks and I look at him
"What for?"
I ask
"The movie?"
He says more like a question
"Was thinking we could watch it together, get rid of the
tension"
He nods
"Get comfortable then"
He says and I get rid of my clothes, and I'm in the short and vest
only. He puts the laptop on top of the bed and we sit with
space in between, who would have ever thought me and Gugu
would sit like strangers like this?
"Sebe... Cuddles?"
He whispers looks like I fell asleep
"Yes?"
I say through my yawn
"Your phone has been ringing"
I take it and the time
"Why didn't you wake me up?"
It's after 7
"You looked like you needed it"
I haven't slept properly for days cause of this.
"Thanks"
I say then text Samkelo that I'm okay cause he's been calling. I
get up
"Where's the bathroom?"
He's also on his phone
"Second door when you get out"
I nod then go to the bathroom to pee and wash my face glad I
don't wear makeup. I find him still busy with his phone wonder
what has him so hooked. I get dressed
"Ngicela ungikhaphe" (Can you please walk me out?)
I say and his attention moves from his phone to me, he looks as
if he wants to say something but he shakes his head instead
"Let's go"
He takes his keys and we walk out, he holds my hand as we
walk to my res I want to protest but ahh
"Sebe do you regret it?"
He asks as we get closer to my res
"Regret what?"
I ask
"Saying we should try us out?"
I stop and look at him
"Gugu you know I love you and I've told you this, should I be
happy that you finally want us to try yes, am I happy that you
do? No"
He frowns
"Why?"
I sigh
"Cause of your reason why"
I don't say anything after that hoping he gets what I'm saying
and by his sigh I think he did. The security guard greets me as
he's patrolling
"I'll see you around"
I say pulling him for a hug
"Call me when you get to your res"
I say breaking it
"Yes ma'am"
I nod then turn to leave
"Sebe"
He calls out and I turn
"Thank you"
I nod don't know what to say
"I promise to try"
I get him so I just smile and walk inside. This all feels weird the
weird weird not the good weird. I applaud Gugu for wanting to
try us for the sake of someone he loves shows how much of a
good heart he has that he'll do anything to save the ones he
loves even if it means being with a girl he doesn't love.
48
-GUGULEZWE
I'm an idiot! You ever be with someone but it feels like you
cheating on the person you in love with? Its awkward between
Sebe and I and I feel like I make things even more awkward by
pressing my phone in her presence. Honestly I'm just googling
ideas for the perfect first date. I enjoy seeing cuddles happy
and I want to be the reason she smiles but I don't know how to
go about it. Sebe is not Mbali. Sebe is a simple person who
prefers simple things but unlike Mbali she's not that picky and
I'm afraid she's not one to speak out if she doesn't like
something but instead she'll appreciate your efforts. I like that
but how do I go about making her step out of her shell without
making her uncomfortable? I consider walking back to my res
but I think to myself, screw this and literally run to the elevator
before it closes. We're alone and she's shocked to see me
"Are you Ok?"
She asks with concern, I shake my head.
"What's wrong?"
I'm watching her lips as she speaks. I pull her to me and kiss
her, she let's me kiss her. I deepen it making it hard to catch our
breaths, I shove my tongue inside her mouth and she allows
me. It feels good, it feels right but she breaks it. I look at her
and she stares back trying to catch her breath
"What was that for?"
She asks surprised, I shrug
"I've been wanting to do that since earlier on Cuddles. You look
beautiful, hot, sexy"
I compliment. She really is beautiful and looks different than
her usual self
"Uhhhmm, thank you"
I say unsure of my response. The elevator comes to a stop and
she gets off, I follow behind her
"Is everything OK?"
She asks
"Cuddles I'm sorry"
She stops, we in the passage of her floor
"Please let me finish. No relationship should start the way ours
is starting. Our lives shouldn't be dictated by forces we don't
know and it was unfair of me to force you into a decision so
quickly and wrong of me to try this out for all the wrong
reasons"
I sigh, she's looking at me full blown shock
"If we going to do this, I want us to do it right. Go on dates, get
to know each other from scratch without the forces and
dreams and whatever. Cuddles I want to love you right, the way
you deserve to be loved and the way you want to be loved. I'm
willing to put in all the work for us a.."
She shuts me up with a kiss. She breaks it
"Let's have this conversation inside
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Ok?"
I nod like a lost puppy and follow behind her.
"Gugu I understand you scared, so am I. Its not easy loving
someone who doesn't feel the same about you"
I shake my head at her
"Please let me finish. I'm willing to meet you half way and I will
also try my best to get you to fall in love with me at your own
free will. We've both been hurt for our stubbornness so if we
doing this, we need to do it right. Church and prayer"
I chuckle and scratch my head, she smiles. She's so cute. How
could I have been so blind?
"Ok. Church and prayer it is then"
She giggles
"Can I offer you something to eat or drink?"
I shrug
"Something to drink please"
.
.
-SEBENTILE
Gugu keeps on dropping bombshells on me today, I honestly
feel like crying right now hearing him say this. It all warms my
heart but also feels sort of sudden, I push all the thoughts aside
he promised to try moc. I blink back the tears that have been
threatening to come out since the elevator issue, I pour some
cranberry juice for both of us and give him his glass before
sitting opposite him
"Are you okay?"
He asks and I nod
"You look like you've been crying or you want to cry"
They threaten to come out again but I refuse
"I'm just a bit emotional cause I wasn't expecting you say all
that"
I say honestly
"And I meant every word"
I mod and he pulls my chair closer to him making me to be in-
between his thighs
"Did I tell you you look hot today?"
I blush
"I think I remember you saying something like that earlier"
He smiles
"I've never seen this side of you and I like it"
I blush
"We were talking church"
I say changing the subject and he chuckles
"I haven't seen one around"
He says
"It's because you weren't thinking about it, there's one that
Samkelo goes to we could go to that one"
He sighs
"Who's that?"
"The guy I was with when you came earlier"
I can't read his face
"Okay"
It's sort of awkward until the door shoots open and Khumo gets
in
"Hey"
She's her bubbly herself as asual
"Gugu"
She says in a more firm tone and Gugu nods
"Samkelo was asking for you"
She says when she's half way through to her room
"I texted him that I'm okay moc"
She shrugs then get into her room
"I'll see you tomorrow, what time is your first class?"
Gugu asks as I walk him out
"Uhm it's.."
He kisses me suddenly, I pull back and look at him
"Sorry it's just that your lips look so appetizing"
I don't know what demon posses me cause I pull him in and kiss
him, he replies after a while and trust me nothing else matters
right now besides the tune our lips are dancing to and I'm
enjoying it.
"Eeew get a room you too"
Khumo screams at us, I giggle hiding my face in his chest I
forgot we still in the flat. We walk our together
"This is as far as you go"
I look at him confused
"I'll jog back to my res"
I nod I don't know why I suddenly can't speak
"You didn't tell me what time is your class"
I clear my throat
"At 8"
I say
"I'll come fetch you and we'll walk together to campus"
I smile, why didn't anyone tell me that having a boyfriend on
campus includes this?
"I know I'm hot you don't have to stare at me like that"
He says and I laugh didn't realize I was staring at him like that
"Goodnight"
I say and he smiles
"Come here"
He pulls me and I hit his chest, he smells heavenly. Then he
kisses me, man I've been kissed today wuu
"That's how you say goodnight"
He says leaving me breathless,I watch him him leave and damn
I feel good. I'm smiling like a retard going back to me flat,
there's a voice telling me this won't last but right I'm enjoying
the moment.
49
-MBALI
Its been a month now and things are going good. I've seen
Gugu and Sebe around together, I should be jealous and hate
them or whatever but I'm not. I comfort myself by knowing that
I'm carrying Gugu's child and knowing that this was how things
should have been in the first place. Gugu is there for me by
choice, I never ask him for anything but mo'guy makes it a point
that he checks up on us everyday. He seems happy, that's all I
could ever ask for. Bambino(my baby) is growing, he/she is
healthy except the puking every now and then. Its not easy to
hide pregnancy but I think I'm hiding it well because even now,
Rato(my housemate) doesn't know and neither do my
classmates. Rato is probably the closest thing I have to a friend
and I can't always bother Thuso about my drama even though I
know he doesn't mind. He's in pta today, told me its work. I
know he deals shady, they are a crew even and who am I to
judge?
He texts me saying he's outside, its Saturday and the weather is
a little off.
"Hey you"
He says pulling me for a tight squeeze
"You tryna kill me"
I say giggling, he breaks the hug
"I don't know you anymore"
I look down embarrassed. When you get into a relationship, it
happens that you distance yourself from other people. Its not
by choice or anything, it just happens.
"I know and I'm sorry. A lots happened over these months"
I say and he nods opening the door for me
"Ey bruh, too much has happened"
He says and he looks stressed
"Anything you wanna talk about?"
I ask and he shrugs starting the car
"Sabelo turned on us. He's with the Jozi gang now"
I look at him shocked
"I thought he and Sakhile were best friends mos? I thought he
was loyal to you guys"
He chuckles
"We thought so too. Sabelo's been playing with fire ever since
he got to Joburg. He slept with this guy's girlfriend only to find
out that the guy was in the gang. A fight broke out and he
ended stealing their car. That day he almost raped Sebe? He
was on the run"
I clasp my mouth
"No way. But you guys are loyal to each other"
He nods
"That's how it should be but its not. Sakhile was willing to make
things right until he found him forcing himself on Sebe and then
he lost it. He handed him over to them but Sabelo struck a deal.
He gives them information about us and they recruit him"
I frown in shock. Thuso and I grew up together, we practically
like brother and sister. When he joined the gang I was the first
one to find out. I dated Sabelo knowing who he was.
"That's a sell out mos"
He nods
"Yep, he's also the one that stabbed your boyfriend"
I clasp my mouth
"Why would he do that?"
He shrugs
"To send a message or something. We think he was mad over
Gugu attacking him"
I sigh. This is a lot to digest
"So what now?"
I ask and he sighs
"We at war thanks to him"
I pat his knee and he offers a smile
"So what's new with you?"
I chuckle
"You gonna want to sit down"
I say and chuckles
"That bad?"
I shrug. He parks in front of Spur. We both get off and go
inside.
"Gugu is dating Sebe"
I start off as soon as we sit down
"He's cheating on you?"
I chuckle
"God no! He and Sebe are bound by fate so things were never
going to work out between us"
He can't even hide his shock
"Damn"
I chuckle
"I know. Sebe almost getting raped, Gugu landing in hospital? It
was all orchestrated. They were being punished for not
listening"
He chuckles in disbelief
"No way"
I nod
"I am pregnant with Gugu's child. 2 months now and it was
warned that if they don't get their shiit together, I might lose
this child"
He looks at me shocked to the core
"Does aunty know?"
I shake my head
"Your father will kill him"
I nod
"I know"
"So what now?"
I shrug at his question
"They'll find out when I go home. Gugu's parents are willing to
do the right thing so we'll see. As for dad, he needs to focus on
you guys"
His eyes pop out
"You know?"
I nod
"I'm not stupid. I know he's the leader or whatever you guys
call him"
He's in disbelief. I know my father, a little too well. I've seen
some of his work in his office and computers.
"I know you guys can't recruit any people without going
through him but please, have Sakhile recruit Gugu. For his own
safety. If dad finds out that Gugu is my baby daddy, he's going
to have him killed and it won't matter that he's Sakhile's
cousin"
He thinks for a while. Our waiter brings our orders and leaves
"Eish, I'll talk to Sakhile. Don't know if Gugu wants to be an
Ace"
He says. My father is ruthless, he won't hesitate to kill him. I am
his pride and joy so for me to be pregnant in my first year, Gugu
will be at fault in his eyes since he can't kill me.
"Snowflake"
A white person's voice says, I'm guessing they talking to me
cause the doctor at the hospital called me that.
"Dr Eric Hezog, we met at the hospital"
He says and I'm just staring at how handsome he is. He cleans
up pretty well for a doctor.
"I'm Mbali and this is my brother Thuso"
I say, he shakes Thuso's hand
"I know this is rude and strange and all kinds of weird but may I
please have your number? No disrespect Thuso"
He says, I look at Thuso who nods.
.
.
-SEBENTILE
It's been quite a week hey and I can't complain, Gugu has been
trying and I'm grateful for the effort really I am, he doesn't
make me feel as the rebound or whatever though a part of me
is still waiting for him to mess up. Good thing is we haven't
bumped into Mbali during our walks and what's not, I know
she's the one who told us to try but it would be so awkward to
bump into while walking with the guy she loves rather when I'm
alone. Samkelo is cool with me giving Gugu a chance cause he
says what more harm can happen? He believes that me and
Gugu have been through hell, this heaven may not last but at
least I would have enjoyed it or we would have. So this is me
enjoying the heaven of being woken up by morning texts,
random calls even after he just saw me something Sabelo never
did. Speaking of him, he just vanished unto the face of the
earth last I heard from him it's that text he sent but nothing
after that. I still wonder where he is but I'm not worried he
could have been eaten by sharks for all I care. I told Bulo about
me giving Gugulezwe another chance and you won't guess what
happened, she blocked me literally on whatsapp and even
blocked my calls dramatic I know, I tried talking to Sakhile to
talk to her but she won't budge instead threatens Sakhile that
she will dump him, it's a lot. I thought I should give her a
chance to let everything sink in then we will talk. Today's
Saturday and I'm thinking of us going out so we can proper talk,
I call her using a private number it rings for a while before she
answers.
"Hello"
Oh how great it is to hear her voice again
"Njabulo yami" (My happiness)
I say there's silence for a while
"What do you want?"
She says
"I want my best friend"
I say and she doesn't say anything
"I miss you my love so much, do you know how long and
dreading this week has been without talking to you or even
seeing your face?"
I say hoping it touches her
"Owww"
She says and I sigh
"Nonjabulo"
I utter in a soft voice then fake sniffles
"No need for such drama I miss you too"
I can't help but scream
"She was crying seconds ago"
She says sarcastically and I laugh
"What are you doing today? I was thinking we go for a movie or
shopping or maybe ice-cream"
I say
"I'm busy now maybe later"
She's still angry
"Busy with?"
I ask
"None of your business"
I laugh my friend is back
"Fine, see you later?"
I ask
"Yah sure"
She says sounding bored
"I love you too"
I say before hanging up, I was still in bed so I get to shower. I
bump into Khumo coming out the bathroom
"Morning love"
She says hugging me, one thing I know about her is that she's a
hugger
"Hey"
I reply hugging her back
"I was about to go wake you up"
She says breaking the hug and I look at her to continue
"Ohh we going out for shopping today"
She says beaming
"I'm broke love you know"
She rolls her eyes
"It's my treat"
I shake my head
"I can't babe"
She holds me by my shoulders
"There's nothing you can say that'll make me change my mind"
I sigh, I'm still not used to being treated like this
"Fine"
She squels
"Go bath, be beautiful and let me spoil okay"
She kisses my cheek then catwalks to her room, I chuckle
shaking my head. Take a shower, lotion then look for something
to wear. Khumo busts in and I'm still in my underwear
"She's still not reading"
She says throwing her hands in the air
"I don't know what to wear"
I say sitting on the bed, she rushes to my closet and comes back
with a red summer dress that the Radebe's bought for me
when I came her
"Too short"
I'm looking at myself in the mirror and the dress is way above
my knees
"Here"
She hands me sandals
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she's not listening to me. I wear them
"Perfect"
She says, I keep pulling it down I don't know why cause it's
loose
"Stop doing that, you look perfect"
She says hitting my hand and I huff
"Take your bag and let's go, we already an hour behind"
"We time shopping now?"
She laughs
"It's saturday"
She says rolling her eyes
"Those will fall off one day"
She cracks up. I take my phone and leave, I check it and there's
no message from Gugu now that's odd
"What's wrong?"
Khumo asks seeing me frown
"Nothing"
I fake a smile and she nods. We Uber black today imagine,
Marvin is boyfriending right I see. We've been to a thousand
shops now and the bags we have yooh. I can't help but keep on
checking my phone for a message or missed call or something.
"What's up with you? You've been looking at that phone since
we came here"
Khumo says and I look at her
"It's Gugu, he hasn't called or texted the whole day"
I find a chair and sit down
"And?"
I huff
"It's unlike him, I mean he always sends a text every morning
and calls after but today"
I feel like crying what if he doesn't want to do this anymore
"Stop stressing, he's probably busy"
I look at her
"Too busy for me?"
That hurts
"No, he'll call marn. Let's go get ready I'm taking you out"
She makes me stand up
"Out where? I can't I'm meeting up with Bulo"
I say and she stops on her tracks
"She can come with and.."
Her phone rings and she answers it
"Babe... Yes... Okay we coming"
She hangs up, Marvin is waiting for us
"Happy you some of us haven't been called ke"
She laughs at me
"Then they say I'm a drama queen"
She says and I pout. Marvin drives us to our flat and Khumo
asks him to not leave, Bulo calls and Khumo answers her and
says God knows what to her.
"You might want to refresh"
"I took a bath moc"
She rolls her eyes
"Stop being lazy and I have the perfect outfit for you, go"
She's always in a jolly mood this one and I'm not in one, I take
my phone to call Gugu
"Don't even think about it"
She snatches my phone, when did she get here?
.
.
GUGULEZWE
It's been a week now and we've been going to classes together,
slowly getting to know her bit by bit. Today its Saturday and I've
planned a nice picnic for us, I booked a room at this other bnb.
I'm really not trying to get into her pants, I just want to take
things nice and slow. Mbali and I are cool, we talk but its mostly
about Bambino. I'm a decent cook. Not chef level but decent
enough and prepared a couple of dishes I saw online. I've
bought white Lillie's, I don't know her favorite flowers yet but
I'm hoping she likes these. I know she loves ice-cream and sour
worms so I have those for dessert and for starters I made
lasagna cupcakes... Its lasagna shaped like a cupcake really. For
main course its nothing fancy, it's grilled meat with veggies, I'm
really aiming to impress. Also Mbali was the one to suggest the
indoor picnic, says its a good way to know each other without
any disturbances from waiter's. I've asked her friend Khumo to
dress her up and have her delivered here. I bought her a bikini
for later, I want is to go chill in the jacuzzi and have harmless
fun. I'm prepared but I'm nervous AF! Khumo just texted me
telling me that they are outside, I asked her to blindfold her.
Khumo doesn't really like me but she's not as bad as Bulo and I
had to bribe her for this whole thing to work out. I walk out to
them and my GOD! She's beautiful! Her braids have been tied
into a neat bun, she's wearing heels, a red dress that leaves no
curve unhugged and is slightly above the knees. She's
BEAUTIFUL! I mouth thank you to Khumo as I take her hand
"Khumo what's going on here?"
She asks so confused but Khumo giggles
"Bye friend"
She kisses her cheek and leave with Sebe trying to argue
"Hey cuddles"
I say kissing her cheek, her perfume smells amazing!
"Gugu"
My name rolls out of her tongue
"You trust me right?"
I ask leading her inside
"Of cause. What's going on?"
I chuckle, she's so impatient its adorable. Mbali was right, the
more I've spent time with Sebe the more I realized that the love
was just buried somewhere deep inside of me and I needed to
search myself. We step inside and I take off her blind fold. I'm
standing behind her, even in hills she's short.
"I.... Gugu... This is...."
She covers her face and turns to me
"This is too much"
She says with her face still covered and she sounds like she's
crying. She's so emotional lately. I pull her to me
"You worth it"
I say and pull away from her
"Please don't cry"
I say pulling her hands from her face
"Its a lot"
I chuckle and kiss her
"Lets sit down and eat. You can tell me about your day"
I say pulling her to the pillows on the floor. She sits down and I
sit opposite her, I take the flowers and hand them to her
"I didn't know which ones you'd like"
She giggles smelling them
"Gugu this is too much. Thank you"
She says unable to hide her excitement
"My cooking is decent so please don't be too harsh on me"
I say dishing up for us, she giggles
"Looks good, I'm sure I'm going to love it"
She says, she really does love me.
"Here we go"
I say handing her a plate and pouting us cranberry juice.
"How'd you know?"
I chuckle
"I make it my duty to know you. Khumo tells me you were mad
at me"
She giggles hiding her face
"She told you that. Well you hadn't responded to any of my
texts, what was I to think"
I chuckle
"And now? Are you still mad at me?"
She shakes her head no like a child
"Looking at all this, how could I be?"
I chuckle. We continue eating over light conversation. We
change into swimming gear and head to the jacuzzi, it took a lot
of convincing for her to wear a swimsuit and get into the jacuzzi
with me. I've pulled her to sit on top of me.
"Thank you"
I say, her arms are wrapped around the back of my neck
"For?"
She asks looking confused and very much adorable
"This, giving us a chance a.."
She shuts me up with a kiss, I'm shocked but screw it I respond.
She breaks it
"I'm happy. You doing great. Everyday when I wake up to your
texts I have to remind myself that I'm not dreaming. Your
efforts aren't going to waste, I appreciate them and you. Now
stop thanking me, I'm not doing you a favor here"
She says biting my ear its so fxcking sexy and its a turn on. She
looks into my eyes all cute and innocent. So precious and so
delicate. Sebe's innocence is the kind that makes you want to
kill everyone thats ever wronged her. The more time I spend
with her the more I realize she's an amazing person, she's
unique, her shyness makes her so cute. I'm happy with her, yes
it's still early in our relationship but maybe the forces aren't so
bad. We were brought together for a reason.
"What are you thinking about?"
She asks bringing me back
"That maybe whatever pulled us together had its reasons and
its not bad at all"
She giggles, my hands are resting on her ass.
"You trust me right?"
She nods looking at me strangely. I flip us around so that she's
on deck and I'm on the stairs
"What are you doing?"
She asks
"I want to see you properly"
50
-SEBENTILE
Well things took an unexpected turn, really I didn't think Gugu
would go to such lengths to show that he's genuine I'm
impressed. The set up is amazing the food too didn't know he
can cook and he tried I'm now convinced he really wants to try
and him in between my thighs right now is exactly what I want
want. He starts kissing me again and I waste no time in replying,
I think I'm starting to get addicted to his kisses. His hands travel
to my nuna and he starts rubbing on top of my bikini bottom I
let out a moan and I feel him smile, he stops and tries to untie
the top
"We in public"
I say in between the kiss
"So?"
He continues kissing me, did he just ask that?
"Gugu"
I break the kiss, he picks me up
"Gugu you'll drop me"
I say panicking, my legs are around his waist and he's climbing
the stairs out the Jacuzzi still holding me. I'm heavy what's this
man tryna do
"Gugu put me down"
I beg
"You said you trust me right?"
I nod
"But I'm heavy you'll..."
He shuts me up with a kiss
"Don't say that and trust me"
I fighting a losing battle, I try not to relax my body so I'm not
too heavy. Lucky for me our room isn't up any stairs he locks
the door after putting me on top of the bed.
"Come"
He says pulling me to the edge of the bed
"You look sexy in this"
He's standing back looking at me well more like admiring me, I
hide my face with my hands and he removes them
"Don't hide"
I've never worn a bikini before and I feel naked already and Mr
here is making it worse by looking at me like I'm some kind of
meal.
"You making me shy"
I say and he chuckles before he starts planting kisses on my
neck going down to my boobs
"These are perfect, I love them"
He cups and kisses them at the same time. I feel my body heat
up and the moans I'm uttering, I don't know why our body
betrays us like this I mean the minute a guy starts touching your
breasts it respond wow. I gasp feeling his tongue on my clit,
when he get there? He starts eating me and trust me when I
say this guy's head is amazing.
"Gugu!"
I moun feeling an orgasm coming
"Let go"
Right at his command, my toes curl up and wave of pleasure
comes down, he comes up to kiss me making me taste my
juices.
"That is for giving me a chance, us a chance"
I'm still recovering and he wants to talk, he's still the only guy
who has ever went down on me or given me an orgasm.
"What happened to your voice"
He says laughing I hit his shoulder laughing
"It's here hawu"
He continues laughing
"Imagine you like this now imagine when we finally get it
down"
He sings the last part making the whole thing less
uncomfortable
"I forgot you can sing"
I say
"Master of changing subjects"
I giggle, I've never had any sex talk with anyone except Bulo so
it is sort of awkward funny how I always Gugu go down on me.
"I've always wanted a boyfriend who can sing"
I say
"Really?"
I nod
"Yeah, I imagined him singing to me while I lay in his chest or
we having pillow talk you know those sort of moments"
He kisses the top of my head
"You watch too many romantic movies cuddles"
He says
"You just had to spoil the moment"
I says and he laughs
"Sorry babe"
He says
"Thank you"
I say after some comfortable silence
"For?"
I remove my head from his chest
"Today, I loved it I feel so special"
He brings me closer
"You are mine now and you deserve everything beautiful,
amazing and special"
He says and my heart melts. Can I lay here forever?
.
.
-GUGULEZWE
Sebe falling asleep in my arms is perfect. My mission is to make
her appreciate her body as it is by appreciating each and every
part of her. I marked her, its fun and knowing her she's going to
freak out but at least its on her boobs and inner thighs. Cuddles
is sleeping, I slide out of bed cautiously and find my phone, I
have quite a number of missed calls from Sakhile
Advertisement
Khumo and Mbali. Mbali knows about tonight so she wouldn't
call unless its important, I wrap a towel around my body and
walk out calling her.
"Hi"
She says in a sleepy voice
"Is everything OK?"
"Yeah of cause"
She says, I feel bad for waking her up now
"I just saw your missed calls"
I say
"Sakhile tried calling you and he asked me to try you too"
She explains
"Oh, let me call him then"
I say
"Night"
She says dropping the call. I call Sakhile
"You're a hard man to reach Gugu!"
I chuckle
"This better be important!"
I demand and he chuckles
"It is. Tomorrow I'm taking you somewhere"
I'm shocked
"Am I allowed to decline?"
He laughs
"Nope. This is important, its life and death"
I turn to look at a sleeping Sebe through the glass sliding door
"After church I'm yours and it's not debatable!"
He chuckles
"You were more fun when you were dating Mbali. See you
then."
I drop the call shaking my head, this one is mad shame! I walk
back in and join her pulling her closer and fall asleep. The next
morning I wake her up with my tongue on her clit, she let's out
a sleepy moan. I smile and continue working her folds. At least
now I'm having what's mine without worrying about Sabelo. I
let her reach her peak but continue, I'm trying to soften her up
really for ditching her after church. After 3 or 4 orgasms I finally
come up to her beautiful face and kiss her
"Good morning cuddles"
She just smiles
"Cat got your tongue?"
I ask and she shoves me lightly, her eyes are half open
"Drained actually"
I chuckle and kiss her neck, her voice is even huskier.
"Wake up, let's go shower. We going to church"
She looks at me shocked
"You don't wanna go?"
I ask
"Of cause I want to go"
I chuckle at her excited tone
"Then let's go shower"
I say getting off of her and hold out my hand to her. She tries to
grab a towel
"No"
I say pulling her
"Gugu"
I shake my head no
"I'm also naked mos"
I say, she stares at me
"At least your body is sexy"
She mumbles, I chuckle
"And I think your body is sexier"
She rolls her eyes at me as we get into the bathroom. We step
into the shower together. I'm washing her running a soapy
towel on her body.
"So. Sakhile asked me to meet him after church"
I start off looking at her nervously, I don't think her expression
was voluntary but she immediately hides it with a fake smile
"Its cool"
She says and looks down, I make her look up at me
"What's on your mind this second, and be honest"
I say firmly.
"I wanted to spend more time with you after church"
She says with a shrug
"But you have a life and also its not like you were asking for my
permission or anything"
She says with a shrug. I sigh
"Sebe you my girlfriend, its Ok to sulk when you don't like
something and even if I have a life, you are part of it. We
wouldn't work out if I didn't let you know of things before time
cause then that wouldn't be a relationship"
She nods "You so cute when you sulk"
I say kissing her forehead "I'm not sulking"
She says and I chuckle.
After church Sakhile fetches us and we drop Sebe off at res and
drive off. I don't even know where we going and he won't tell
me. When we arrive there's 2 guys and one lady. She looks like
someone I know, its strange.
"Gugu meet Mbali's father Mr Cirha, our boss"
Sakhile introduces, we shake hands
"Sir, Gugulezwe Ncenjane my cousin" "Nice to meet you"
I say, I'm so confused and this idiot didn't bother explaining
anything to me.
"And this Ntombikayise and Mncedisi Khoza. Sebe's parents"

………………………………………The End………………………………………

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