YOU 3. Social skills.

3.1. What are social abilities?

According to V. AND. Horse, we understand social skills as a “ set of behaviors emitted
by an individual, in an interpersonal context, that expresses the feelings, attitudes, desires,
opinions or rights of that individual in a way appropriate to the situation, respecting those
behaviors in the others and that generally solves the immediate problems of the situation
while minimizing the probability of future problems. ”
The different elements that make up social skills are:
♦ An interpersonal context. Social skills are developed in
situations in which there are several people, among whom there must be
interaction.
♦ Socially skilled people appropriately express their
feelings, attitudes, desires, opinions or rights, which means respecting those of
others.
♦ Solve or minimize problems. It refers to the objectives of skillful behavior
(making friends, joining a group, participating in class, obtaining a job...).
In summary, we can say that social skills are the set of habits we have to interact with
others.

3.2. Components of social skills.

Social skills are a set of qualities that facilitate social interaction. We can differentiate
between four component types: behavioral, emotional, cognitive and personality.
3.2.1. Behavioral components.
Behavior is the particular way a person behaves, acts or gives a response in a given
situation .
Behavior is the product of the interaction of internal factors (such as personality,
intelligence or beliefs) and external or environmental factors.
In relation to social skills we can differentiate between assertive and non-assertive
behaviors. We will also include the communication process and certain physiological
reactions as behavioral components.
Assertiveness.
One of the fundamental components of social skills is assertiveness or having assertive
behavior. R. AND. Albert and M. L. Emmons define it as: “ behavior that allows a
person to act based on his or her most important interests, defend himself without anxiety,
comfortably express honest feelings, or exercise personal rights, without denying the
rights of others.”
Thus, an assertive person is one who is sure of himself and behaves and expresses himself
as such, always respecting others.
There are ways of relating or behaviors, contrary to assertiveness, that hinder correct
communication with others both on a personal and professional level. The most
representative are passive behavior and aggressive behavior.
▪ Passive behavior involves transgression of one's rights by not being able to openly
express feelings, thoughts and opinions or expressing them in a self-defeating
manner, with apologies or lack of trust.
▪ Aggressive behavior goes hand in hand with abuse and violation of rights.
personal rights and expresses thoughts and opinions in an inappropriate or
imposing manner. Although aggressiveness does not equate to violence, it can
become so.
Verbal aggression can manifest itself directly (insults, threats...) or indirectly
(sarcasm, irony...) .
There are false beliefs about aggressive behaviors:
X It is not true that to reduce their aggressiveness people must express it externally.
X It is not true that aggressive behavior helps you get what you want, quite the
opposite.
X It is not true that events are the cause of aggressive behavior. It is interpretations
and distorted thoughts that produce it.
The communication.
We could define communication as the transmission of certain information. But the
concept of communication is much more complex. A richer definition of the word
communicate could be to put in common or share with others.
For any type of communication to exist, at least the following elements must exist: a
sender who transmits the information, a receiver who receives it, a message or content, a
code or language and a channel through which it passes. All communication develops in a
specific context . ( Jakobson 's scheme)
For communication to be complete, it is necessary that this message does not leave the
recipient indifferent, but rather predisposes them to a response.
By providing this answer we will be talking about one of the essential processes of
communication: feedback , that is, communication in two directions.
Jakobson scheme.

RECEIVER
TRANS
MITTER

Ideas
Coding Decoding • Interpretation
Perceptions
Experiences
Representations
symbolic of:

Facts
Ideas
Things
Feelings
Knowledge

Feedback

Verbal and non-verbal communication.

Communication is made up of two types of message or two parts into which the
communication process can be divided:
▫ The message emitted through words, that is, verbal language.
▫ The execution of actions, conscious or unconscious, through what is known as non-
verbal language.
The complete or final message will be composed, in a synchronous and inextricable way,
of both types of language.

The physiological components.

In some social situations, people activate, unconsciously and difficult to control,
physiological reactions that denote a lack of social skills. The appearance of blushing,
tremors, sweating, accelerated heart or respiratory rate, anxiety in the stomach, etc...
These reactions are also considered behavioral components of social skills.
3.2.2. emotional components.
Emotion can be defined as an involuntary impulse , originated in response to
environmental stimuli, that induces feelings and triggers automatic reaction behaviors.
The emotional state varies depending on events or thoughts.
Most theories agree that there are six basic or primary emotions: anger, anger, joy,
sadness, fear, aversion and surprise.
 Emotion Causes Function

Keep the distances with the the rest

Anger / Anger Frustration, injustice, aggression…
indicating the limits.

Protection, flight or attack.

Fear Danger or unknown situation.
Avoidance or confrontation.

Happiness Achievement of some objective. Stimulation/Motivation.

Adaptation, disable to the
Sadness Discouragement, melancholy, etc. organism in
difficult situations for later recovery.
physiological reaction Generates avoidance responses to unpleasant or
Aversion
Rejection harmful situations.

Surprise Reaction to something new. Focus attention and exploration.

Stimuli and manifestation of emotions.

The stimuli that provoke emotions can be external and internal .
▪ External stimuli. They come from the environment or the outside world.
▪ Internal stimuli . They occur at the cognitive level.
Cognitive processes determine emotions based on what each stimulus means or is believed
to mean for each person.
These differences are due to the fact that, thanks to emotions, the organism knows
consciously or unconsciously whether a situation is more or less favorable for its survival.
Emotions cannot be controlled, since they simply arise in the presence of stimuli. What
you can control is the external manifestation of these emotions.
In each culture, the manifestation of certain emotions is promoted or punished (for
example: crying is a girl thing ). Although on some occasions the manifestation of
emotions is normal, inevitable and beneficial, on others it is advisable to control them to
show more adaptive behavior appropriate to the circumstances. Education, knowledge and
emotional intelligence will help us define our actions and regulate our behavior.
Emotional intelligence.
This term was coined by the American psychologists Peter Salovey and John Mayer in
1990. Emotional intelligence is defined as the ability to recognize our own feelings and
those of others, to motivate our own feelings and those of others, to motivate ourselves
and to manage emotions well, in ourselves and in our relationships.
This ability is related to the ability to perceive emotions, understand and assimilate
feelings through the information that these emotions produce in us and be able to manage
and use them.

Intelligence
emotional

Appreciation
and Regulation of
expression of the emotion
the

In In the In In the
onesel the onesel others
f rest f

Verbal Non Verbal Non

3.2.3. Cognitive verbal
components. verbal

The cognitive components are those related to people's mental processes and the way in
which they intervene in the development of social skills.
Cognitive abilities are necessary to learn social skills, as reflected in Walter Mishel's
social learning theory. The process by which certain thoughts or erroneous beliefs can
prevent them from developing properly is included in the cognitive model of Ellis and
Beck.
Walter Mishel's social learning theory.
The theory that best explains the influence of cognitive aspects on the learning of social
skills is Walter Mishel's social learning theory .
According to this theory there are 5 variables or components: competencies, coding
strategies, expectations, subjective assessment of the situation and self-regulatory
mechanisms and plans.
Behavior Competence. It involves the ability to build or generate cognitive and behavioral
potential strategies of a social nature. It includes knowledge of appropriate social skills, knowing
what and how to do at all times, and recognizing signals from our social partners.
 Coding and categorization strategies. They basically refer to the way in which the
person perceives, thinks and interprets the world around them. This requires adequate
social perception.

Expectations. They refer to what the person foresees about the possible consequences
of their behavior, that is, the results they can achieve in each situation.

Subjective assessment of the situation. It refers to the value that the person gives to
Execution of the
the consequences of their behavior and stimulation.
behavior
Self-regulatory mechanisms and plans. They consist of the development, by the
individual, of a series of rules that guide their behavior when there are no significant
external pressures.

The cognitive model of Ellis and Beck.

♦ . Ellis and A. Beck developed the cognitive model that postulates that people's
emotions and behaviors are influenced by their perception of events and, therefore, it is
not a situation in and of itself that determines what a person feels, but rather the way you
interpret the situation.
The problem arises when thinking distorts the interpretation of these events, giving rise to
irrational thoughts that can become obsessive.
We can define cognitive distortions or irrational thoughts as those wrong schemes in
the interpretation of facts, which give rise to a simplistic or negative vision, which
influences the person's behavior.
There is a wide variety of cognitive distortions:
♦ Arbitrary inference. Drawing conclusions from a situation that are not supported
by experience.
♦ Selective abstraction. Select only the negative details of a situation and ignore the
rest.
♦ Interpretation of thought. The tendency to interpret the feelings and intentions of
others without any basis.
♦ Overgeneralization. It consists of drawing general conclusions from an isolated
fact that has no direct relationship with them.
♦ Personalization. Attributing blame, without evidence, for certain events.
♦ All or nothing thinking. Consider any achievement that does not meet the
maximum expectations as a failure.
♦ Disqualification of the positive. Downplay the positive aspects and look for the
negative reading.
These distortions lead the person to an inadequate perception of themselves, others and the
environment.
3.2.4. The personality.
W. Allport defines personality as the dynamic organization of psychophysical systems
that determines a way of thinking and acting, unique to each person in their process of
adaptation to the environment.
Personality is considered to be a product of heredity and environment. It can be said that
personality is something unique and unrepeatable that depends on bio-psycho-social
factors.
Self-concept and self-esteem.
A determining aspect of a person's personality is their perception of themselves, their self-
concept . The assessment of this self-concept is what we call self-esteem, and this is going
to be very important in the development and future of any person.
It is important to have a good perception of yourself and also maintain a balance between
what you believe you are and what you want to be. It is also important to maintain a
balance between self-concept and reality. When a person undervalues themselves
excessively we say that they have a low level of self-esteem. We must keep in mind that
adequate self-esteem will contribute to the adequate development of personal and social
skills and increase the level of personal security. Low self-esteem will negatively
predispose interpersonal relationships and will be a very important obstacle to the
development of social competence.
The theory of personality traits.
One of the most used theories in determining personality is the theory of personality traits.
It focuses on measuring the personality of individuals based on the traits you display.
Traits are perceptible and constant elements or characteristics in a person that make
them different from others. These traits combine differently in each person, giving rise to
different types or personality models. For this reason, they are generally presented as
opposing factors such as:
Extraversion – Introversion
Emotionality – Lack of emotionality
Self-sufficiency – Dependence
Activity – Inactivity
Egocentrism – Allocentrism
Dominance – Submission
Impulsivity – Serenity
The level that integrates each of these traits will make the personality unique and
unrepeatable.
One of the main architects of trait theory, R. Catell developed one of the most used
personality questionnaires in the selection of professionals and managers, the 16PF. Its
name derives from the measurement it makes of the following 16 opposite factors or
personality traits:
 Feature Dimensions

Factor Description (high grade) Description (low grade)

TO Communicative, affectionate Reserved, detached, critical
b Intelligent, abstract thinking Unintelligent, thoughtful, concrete
c Emotionally stable, realistic Transforms easily, sentimental
AND foolish, aggressive, stubborn Humble, soft, adaptable
F Careless, impulsive, lively Somber, cautious, serious
g Conscientious, persevering Expeditious, doesn't care about the rules
h Bold, socially bold Embarrassing, withdrawn, shy
Yo Flexible Inflexible, self-confident
l Suspicious, conceited Confident, acceptable
M Imaginative Practical, careful
M Cunning, calculating Frank, natural
EITHER Apprehensive, he censors himself Confident, reliable
Q1 Experimental, liberal Conservative
Q2 Self-sufficient Group dependent
Q3 Controlled, socially accurate Undisciplined, self-conflictive
Q4 Tense, frustrated Soft, calm

Adaptation mechanisms.
Their purpose is to search for adaptive strategies in the face of stressful events. Some of
the most common are the following:
▪ Affiliation. The person seeks help and support from others.
▪ Altruism. It consists of facing emotional conflicts by dedicating oneself to meeting
the needs of others.
▪ Anticipation. Anticipate the consequences of certain threats and anticipate
alternative solutions.
▪ Sublimation. The person channels potentially maladaptive feelings or impulses into
socially acceptable behaviors.
▪ Sense of humor. It is based on coping with the situation by emphasizing the funny
and ironic aspects of stressful situations.
▪ Deletion. It consists of intentionally avoiding thinking about the problems or
feelings that cause discomfort.
Avoidance or denial mechanisms.
Stressful situations are faced by inhibiting the situation, that is, avoiding them so that they
do not cause discomfort.
▪ Denial . Refusing to recognize reality or the problem, which means rejecting those
unpleasant or unacceptable aspects.
▪ Projection . The person incorrectly attributes other feelings or
own thoughts that are unacceptable to you.
 ▪ Rationalization . It consists of looking for reassuring but covert explanations to
cover up reality.
▪ Relative inattention . It is based on erasing from the experience those elements that
could be disturbing if one became aware of them.
Reality distortion mechanisms.
They consist of distorting reality to adapt it to a tolerable situation. Some of these
mechanisms are:
▪ Idealization . It consists of attributing exaggeratedly positive qualities to others.
▪ Devaluation . They attribute exaggeratedly negative qualities to others.
▪ Omnipotence . The person acts in the face of conflict as if he were superior to
others.
▪ Fancy . The person faces the stressful situation by creating
of fantasies that replace the resolution of the problem.

3.3. Deficit in social skills.

People with a deficit in social skills will show a certain fear in their social relationships
and will experience great stress in situations that involve contact with new people or
joining new groups.
This difficulty does not end in the mere communication process, but goes further and has
an impact on the person's life in all its facets. Many situations of isolation, shyness, low
self-esteem, anxiety, depression and even criminal behavior can have their origin in a lack
of social skills.
3.3.1. Causes of deficit in social skills.
There are some innate factors and others that are a consequence of the educational and
socialization process.
The genetic code determines some capabilities that will facilitate or hinder the acquisition
of social skills. On the other hand, the acquisition to a greater or lesser degree of some of
these characteristics will be shaped by the socialization process itself.
The lack of learning or the inability to put it into practice.
From another perspective, to synthesize the mechanisms that contribute to the lack of
social skills we will focus on two aspects: the lack of learning and the difficulty of putting
it into practice.

• The lack of learning. Social skills are learned through imitation and reinforcement
processes, through the behavioral models of reference figures. When you grow up
in an environment poor in this type of stimuli, with the absence of valid models
and lack of reinforcements, your repertoire of behaviors and skills will be very
limited.
• The difficulty of putting them into practice. In other situations, the person knows
what the appropriate behavior is and has certain skills in their repertoire, however,
they do not put them into practice because some behavioral factors condition their
execution.
3.3.2. Manifestations of deficit in social skills.
Difficulties in interacting appropriately are revealed through behaviors that demonstrate
this difficulty. The most common are:
▪ Shyness. Sensation that predisposes one to feel insecurity or shame in social
situations. It entails exaggerated nervousness and an excessive concern for social
evaluation. Some of the underlying fears of shyness are:
▫ Fear of giving an inappropriate response.
▫ Fear of being criticized.
▫ Fear of rejection.
▫ Fear of revealing feelings eitherintimate convictions.
Shyness is related to low self-esteem and is one of the main causes of social
anxiety and isolation.
▪ Blocking. It is a kind of manifestation of shyness or stress in communication,
characterized by the impossibility of speaking or expressing oneself in a situation
that is experienced as stressful. Blocking can also occur in written language.
▪ Overadaptation. It is a resource for people with passive behaviors and low self-
esteem that consists of acting according to other people's desires and not their own.
It supposes a renunciation of one's own and different thinking and acting.
▪ Aggression. It means acting in an authoritarian manner, without taking into account
the needs of others, to make clear the position of superiority or power. The insults,
slamming doors or the tone of voice illustrate the inability of these people to
defend their ideas on an equal footing.
▪ Social anxiety. It consists of the fear or fear that arises in a person in interaction
situations. Anxiety is one of the most important factors in the lack of social
competence.
It can show a wide range of behaviors, from a more or less correct interrelation in
coping with situations, to the emission of ineffective or null responses. In the
second case it can become a highly disturbing disorder.
Anxiety is reflected in the activation of characteristic physiological components
that are very difficult to control: stuttering, blushing, sweating, stereotyped
movements, increased pulse, stomach pain, etc.
▪ Social phobia. It is considered as such when the level of anxiety is so high that it
seriously interferes with the person's daily life. People with social phobia tend to
avoid social relationships. Its characteristics are similar to those of anxiety but
much more pronounced: nervousness when speaking, exacerbation of
physiological components (blushing, sweating...), fear of making a fool of
yourself, of being the object of attention, etc.
▪ Isolation. Difficulty relating and anxiety cause the person to become inhibited from
social relationships and actively avoid them. This avoidance results in a decrease
in experiences that could be highly rewarding, from a social point of view, and
activates the feedback cycle of isolation:

Avoidance —> Lack of social experiences I > Isolation Avoidance

3.4. Evaluation of social competence.
The techniques used to evaluate social competence are the same as in any other evaluative
process in social research, that is, the interview , observation in its different modalities and
tests or questionnaires to evaluate specific components or aspects.
3.4.1. The interview.
The interview serves to collect first-hand information about the person's own interpersonal
relationships and to obtain indicators about their way of interacting. Provides information
regarding:
• History of your interpersonal relationships.
• Social interaction situations that cause the most problems.
• Assessment of your own social behavior.
• Motivation you have to improve your level of social skills.
Expectations about training and the goals you would like to achieve.

3.4.2. The observation.

Through observation, the behavior and social skills of the people observed can be
examined and recorded.
Observation modalities .
Observation incorporates a wide range of procedures and modalities. To evaluate social
competence we must take into account two aspects:
1. Observation in natural or simulated environments.
The data should be taken, to the extent possible, in natural situations, since
spontaneity and environmental variables occur. However, this practice entails
very important drawbacks such as the difficulty in establishing key behaviors.
Therefore, observation in simulated environments is a particularly useful
procedure.
2. Observation by others or self-observation.
In the field of social skills, much of the information necessary to carry out the
assessment is part of the person's most intimate universe and, therefore, it must be
the person who, through specific records, provides it.
It is the subject himself who self-registers his emotions, thoughts and feelings.
Self-observation in social skills involves two separate processes:
1. Discriminate the presence or absence of the target behavior. The
response can be physiological, cognitive or motor.
2. You record the emission of the behavior on record sheets, questions or
scales created for this purpose.
Example of self-observation recording sheet.
It was prepared by A. Ellis for self-recording of distorted thoughts. Through this sheet,
users detect the moment in which they are affected by irrational beliefs.

unpleasant
emotion Rational
Situation Automatic
Degree of belief response
(Such as guilt, thoughts Reassessment
(Situation or
Date and Time event that caused anxiety, (from automatic (given to of the degree of
(that precede
sadness, anger, thoughts [0- previous belief
the unpleasant the unpleasant
resentment, 100]) automatic
emotion) emotion)
shame, or thoughts)
confusion)

Preparation of record sheets.

More structured records will be used if what you want to measure is the presence,
influence or intensity of the thought, emotion or behavior. If what you want to record is
more qualitative (description of a feeling or emotion) it should be more open. In many
cases we work with mixed records that incorporate information of both types.
Taking these considerations into account, to prepare a record sheet we must:
1. Define the behavior or other aspects that we want to observe.
2. Determine the variable of these aspects that we want to measure: presence,
frequency, intensity, subjective assessment...
3. Choose the instruments and establish the measurement parameters.
4. Prepare the registration sheet based on the above.
5. Decide the environment in which the observation will be carried out.

3.4.3. Test or questionnaires.

Questionnaires or tests are standardized scales that have been tested in a population with a
normal distribution for the characteristic to be studied.
There are different scales.
Gambrill and Richey Assertiveness Inventory (AI)
It is a questionnaire made up of 40 items with two scores.
▫ The first will indicate the level of discomfort of a person in the indicated
situations. The criteria for its evaluation are: 1, nothing; 2, a little; 3, regular; 4, a
lot; 5, too much.
▫ The second will indicate the probability of responding assertively in each of
these situations. The criteria are: 1, I would always do it; 2, generally would; 3, I
would do it half the time; 4, I would rarely do it; 5, I would never do it.
The person will be asked to read the questionnaire once and first answer the left column
(degree of discomfort) and then read it again to answer the right column. It is advisable to
cover the scores in the left column with a piece of paper.
The score on this questionnaire will provide the person's level of assertiveness. Broadly
speaking, four typologies can be distinguished, which we represent in the following
diagram:
 High probability of response
People
Assertive people
executors
Low degree High degree
of People not of
People
discomfort assertive discomfort
carefree
Low probability of response

Rathus Assertiveness Inventory (RAS)

It is a 30-item questionnaire that the person has to evaluate based on the criteria of the
extent to which they describe or characterize them. Scores range from -3 to +3, based on
the following criteria:
▫ +3 Very characteristic of me, extremely descriptive.
▫ +2 Quite characteristic of me, quite descriptive.
▫ +1 Something characteristic of me, slightly descriptive.
▫ -1 Something uncharacteristic of me, slightly non-descriptive.
▫ -2 Quite uncharacteristic of me, not descriptive.
▫ -3 Very uncharacteristic of me, extremely non-descriptive.
A score will be obtained in a range between:
▫ -90 (minimum assertiveness).
▫ +90 (maximum assertiveness).
Multidimensional Social Expression Scale (EMES) by V. Horse.
It is made up of two questionnaires, one that assesses the cognitive components and the
other the behavioral ones, and can be administered separately.
In both there is a list of situations that the user must answer on a scale from 0 to 4
according to the following criteria: 0, never or very rarely; 1 rarely; 2, from time to time;
3, usually or often; 4, always or very often.
▫ The EMES-C . Assesses the cognitive components in a 44-hour questionnaire
items. Provides information about fears and anxiety. The higher the scores
obtained, the greater the incidence of negative thoughts.
▫ The EMES-M. In this case, the behavioral aspects are assessed. The
questionnaire has 64 items and the lower the scores, the lower the level of social
skills.
Inventory of Anxiety Situations and Responses (ISRA) by J. M. Tobal and A. Spout.
It consists of 224 items and evaluates the cognitive, physiological and behavioral
components of anxiety separately. The Reduced Anxiety Scale has been designed based
on it, so that its application is easier, especially in those cases in which the cultural level
of the person or the time involved in its application may make it difficult to complete.
Symptoms occur whose frequency of appearance the person must evaluate based on the
criteria: 0, almost never; 1, rarely; 2, sometimes yes and sometimes no; 3 many times; 4
almost always.
The Social Skills Scale of E. Gismero.
It is a very easy and brief instrument to administer. It is made up of 33 items with which
social skills are measured and allow deficits in different areas to be precisely identified.
The evaluation is carried out based on 6 factors:
Factor 1. Self-expression in social situations. The ability to express oneself
without anxiety and spontaneously.
Factor 2. Defense of one's own rights as a consumer. Values the expression of
assertive behaviors and defense of one's own values in front of strangers in
consumer situations.
Factor 3. Expression of anger or disagreement. It shows the ease or difficulty in
expressing discrepancies or disagreements.
Factor 4. Say no and cut off interactions. The ability to refuse to continue an
interaction or relationship or simply knowing how to say no.
Factor 5. Make requests. It shows the ease or difficulty you have in asking other
people for something you want.
Factor 6. Initiate positive interactions with the opposite sex. Measures the ability
to spontaneously initiate interactions with people of the opposite sex.
Obtaining a higher score indicates that the person has more social skills and more
capacity for assertion in different contexts.

3.4.4. The Johari Window.

It can be considered as a useful model or tool to explain and represent the dynamics of
communications.
The Johari window consists of a matrix that graphically shows the communication and
interaction processes of a group. For which it establishes two dimensions (the self and
the group ) each with two variables: the known and the unknown, which combined offer
8 areas easily represented in a diagram.
× Open area. It includes everything that I know about myself and that others also
know (such as things that are obvious: age, sex, race...). Also everything we
communicate.
× Hidden area. It includes everything that I know about myself but others don't
know.
× Blind area. It includes everything that I ignore in myself but that others do see or
know.
× Unknown area. It includes everything that I ignore and others ignore too. In this
area will be the world of the psychoanalytic unconscious.
This window is something dynamic, it changes permanently through interpersonal
relationships and group life.
The open area increases in size as trust and interrelationship between participants
increases, being one of the most significant and sought-after changes in group dynamics.
On the other hand, the smaller the first quadrant, the poorer the communication and
interrelationship will be.

Know I don't know

know about me open area Blind area

The group
They don't know about
(others) hidden area unknown area
me

Bibliographic references:
CABALLERO, V. AND. (1987) Social skills theory, evaluation and entertainment.
Valencia, Promolibro.
ALBERT, R. AND.; EMOONS, M. L. (1978) Your perfect right: a guide to assertive
behavior. San Luis Obispo (California), Impact.
SMITH, M. J. (1988) Yes, I can say no. Teach your children to be assertive. Barcelona,
Grijalbo.
GISMERO, E. 2000 Social skills scale. Madrid, TEA Editions.