• FLAVIUS
• HENCE! HOME, YOU IDLE
CREATURES GET YOU HOME! IS
THIS A HOLIDAY? WHAT, KNOW
YOU NOT, BEING MECHANICAL,
YOU OUGHT NOT WALK UPON A
LABORING DAY WITHOUT THE
SIGN OF YOUR PROFESSION? —
SPEAK, WHAT TRADE ART THOU?
CARPENTER
WHY, SIR, A CARPENTER.
Flavius
Go away! Go home, you lazy creatures.
Go home! Is today a holiday? Don’t you
know that, as working-class men, you
shouldn’t walk around on a workday
without wearing your work clothes?
[To CARPENTER] Tell me, what’s your
profession?
CARPENTER
Why, I’m a carpenter, sir.
• MURELLUS
• Where is thy leather apron and thy rule?
• What dost thou with thy best apparel on?
• —You, sir, what trade are you?
• COBBLER
• Truly, sir, in respect of a fine workman, I
am but, as
• you would say, a cobbler
MURELLUS
Where are your leather apron and ruler?
Why are you wearing your finest clothes?
[To COBBLER] And you, sir, what’s your
job?
COBBLER
Well, sir, compared to a skilled workman,
I’m just a cobbler, as you would put it.
 MURELLUS
• MURELLUS
• But what trade art thou? Answer me directly. But what’s your trade? Answer me
straightforwardly.

COBBLER
• COBBLER
• A trade, sir, that I hope I may use with a safe I work a trade, sir, that I hope I can
practice with a clear conscience. I am a
• conscience, which is, indeed, sir, a mender of bad soles mender of worn soles.
• MURELLUS MURELLUS
• What trade, thou knave? Thou naughty knave, what
What trade, fool? You good-fCOBBLER
trade?
Nay, I beseech you, sir, be not out with
me. Yet, if
you be out, sir, I can mend you.or-nothing
fool, what trade?
• MURELLUS MURELLUS
• What mean’st thou by that? “Mend” me,
thou saucy fellow? What do you mean by that? “Mend” me, you rude
• COBBLER man?
• Why, sir, cobble you.
COBBLER
• FLAVIUS
• Thou art a cobbler, art thou? Well, cobble you, sir.
• COBBLER
FLAVIUS
• Truly, sir, all that I live by is with the awl.
I meddle with no tradesman’s matters nor
You’re a cobbler, are you?
women’s matters,but withal I am indeed,
sir, a surgeon to old shoes.When they
are in great danger, I recover them. As COBBLER
proper men as ever trod upon neat’s
leather have gone upon my handiwork. Yes, sir, I make my living through use of an awl. I
don’t meddle in politics or in the affairs of women.
I’m just a surgeon for old shoes. When they’re in
bad shape, I fix them. The most noble men who
have ever walked on leather have walked on my
handiwork.
• FLAVIUS
• But wherefore art not in thy shop today? Why dost thou
lead these men about the streets?
• COBBLER
• Truly, sir, to wear out their shoes to get myself into more
work. But indeed, sir, we make holiday to see Caesar
and to rejoice in his triumph.
• MURELLUS
• Wherefore rejoice? What conquest brings he
home?What tributaries follow him to Rome To grace in
captive bonds his chariot wheels?You blocks, you stones,
you worse than senseless things, O you hard hearts, you
cruèl men of Rome, Knew you not Pompey? Many a
time and oft Have you climbed up to walls and
battlements, To towers and windows, yea, to Chimney
tops,Your infants in your arms, and there have sat The
livelong day with patient expectation
FLAVIUS
But why aren’t you in your shop today? Why are you
leading these men through the streets?
COBBLER
Well, sir, to wear out their shoes and get myself more
work. But actually, sir, we took the day off to see
Caesar and celebrate his triumph.
MURELLUS
Why celebrate it? What foreign lands has he conquered
for Rome to rule? What foreign princes are chained to
his chariot wheels and will earn Rome ransom money?
You blockheads, you unfeeling men, you worse than
stupid things! Oh, you with hard hearts, you cruel men of
Rome! Didn’t you know Pompey? Many a time you
climbed up on walls and battlements, towers and
windows—yes, even chimney tops, with your babies in
your arms—and sat there all day
• To see great Pompey pass the streets
of Rome. And when you saw his
chariot but appear, Have you not
made an universal shout That Tiber
trembled underneath her banks To
hear the replication of your sounds
Made in her concave shores? And do
you now put on your best attire? And
do you now cull out a holiday? And do
you now strew flowers in his way That
comes in triumph over Pompey’s
blood? Be gone! Run to your houses,
fall upon your knees, Pray to the gods
to intermit the plague That needs must
light on this ingratitude.
just waiting to see great Pompey ride
through the streets of Rome. And when you
saw his chariot, didn’t all of you shout all at
once so loudly that the Tiber River shook
from the sound echoing within its banks?
And now you put on your finest clothes?
And now you choose to celebrate a
holiday? And now you toss flowers in the
path of the man who comes in triumph
having defeated Pompey’s sons? Get out of
here! Run to your houses, fall on your knees,
and pray to the gods to spare you from the
terrible punishment that is certain to come
down upon you for such ingratitude.
 FLAVIUS
• FLAVIUS

• Go, go, good countrymen, and for
this fault, Assemble all the poor
men of your sort, Draw them to
Tiber banks, and weep your tears
Into the channel till the lowest
stream Do kiss the most exalted
shores of all.
Go , go, good countrymen. And to
atone for this error in judgment,
gather together all the poor men
like you. Lead them to the banks of
the Tiber River, and weep into the
water until it overflows.

The CARPENTER, COBBLER, and

all of the commoners exit.
• FLAVIUS
• See whether their basest metal be not
moved. They vanish tongue-tied in their
guiltiness. Go you down that way towards the
Capitol. This way will I. Disrobe the images If
you do find them decked with ceremonies.
• MURELLUS
• May we do so? You know it is the feast of
Lupercal.
• FLAVIUS
• It is no matter. Let no images Be hung with
Caesar’s trophies. I’ll about And drive away
the vulgar from the streets. So do you too,
where you perceive them thick. These
growing feathers plucked from Caesar’s wing
Will make him fly an ordinary pitch, Who
else would soar above the view of men And
keep us all in servile fearfulness.
FLAVIUS
That should move even these coarse and unrefined men.
They’re leaving, and feel so guilty they can’t speak. You go
that way towards the Capitol, and I’ll go this way. Undress
any statues you see that have been decorated in honor of
Caesar.
MURELLUS
Can we do that? You know it’s the feast of Lupercal.
FLAVIUS
It doesn’t matter. None of the statues should be decorated in
honor to Caesar. I’ll make sure the commoners get off the
streets, and you do the same wherever you see a bunch of
them together. If we can pluck the feathers of Caesar’s
growing support among the commoners now, he’ll have to fly
at a normal height. If we don’t, he’ll soar to such heights of
power that all of us will live in fear and be his servants.
The end