Old-fashioned vampires

Narrator: In an old abandoned factory in the dark streets of our city, a group of
vampires gather every night to talk about the new news that has happened to their
already forgotten clan...
(Spike and London are sitting and talking, Drusilla enters the scene with her head
down)
– Drusilla: Spike.
– Spike: Drusilla? What do you have?
– Drusilla: Didn't you know what happened to little Timothy?
– Spike: What are you talking about?
– Drusilla: It was her first time riding around the city, looking for fresh humans, she
didn't know which were the safe streets... And now she has AIDS!
– London: Oh my Dracula! He is the fifth of his generation to get sick.
– Spike: That damn virus is taking all our children… The poor thing was only 145
years old.
– London: These days turtles have a better quality of life than we do.
– Drusilla: I think it's time to reconsider changing our diet.
– London: And end up like those weirdos that shine in the sun?
– Spike: London is right, we are the last of our kind, we cannot end our royal
lineage.
– London: They think so much about being able to hang out with those primates,
they disgust me so much, I feel like they are playing with my food.
– Spike: I heard that one of them married a human woman.
– Drusilla: Gossip, gossip, I don't think any of them dare to start that
miscegenation.
– London: What would your children be to us?
– Spike: Simple renegades.
– Drusilla: We cannot be so intolerant, let's be realistic, thanks to them people
have forgotten the fear they had of us and that has not helped in the hunts.
– London: Hmm, hunting, talking so much about food has made me hungry.
– Drusilla: Ah! That reminds me…
(Drusilla leaves the scene and returns with a Human tied by the hands)
– Drusilla: I left the food at the door.
– London: It doesn't look very appealing.
– Spike: I agree…
(Drusilla bites the Human's neck, after a few seconds she lets go and the Human
falls dead)
– Drusilla: That's disgusting, your blood sugar is very high. Humans are not what
they used to be, I remember that in my time they were born healthier.
– London: (a little annoyed) By Lucifer! Let's go out in search of something good.
– Spike: Come on, I heard there's a concert a few blocks from here, maybe we'll
find something good and listen to some good music at the same time.
(The three leave the scene)
End
  Doberman dog (loud voice and drooling)
 Akita Dog (Proud and quiet)
 Chihuahua Dog (Trembling, speaks singly)
 Stray Dog (Dog/cat)
Introduction : One day like any other, 3 friendly dogs were walking through the
alley looking for something to eat, while they were approaching the garbage cans
they saw another of their friends in the distance, a somewhat strange dog (skinny
and with little hair, the dog vagabond) whom they had not seen for months... Well,
except for the Chihuahua who would have a joke to tell them.

– Chihuahua : Hey, hey, guess what they told me about the homeless man.

– Doberman : I don't know, tell us.

– Chihuhua : The poor guy went crazy and thinks he's a cat!

– Akita : Are you sure? I think it's just people's gossip.

– Chihuahua : Well, sure, sure, no but…

– Doberman : (interrupting) Well, let's see, let's call him.

– Akita : If it is true, you should not make fun of him, you should help him.

– Chihuahua : Sure, sure.

– Doberman : Hey tramp, come!

(Tramp looks at them and runs towards them.)

– Tramp : Friends, long time no see!

– Akita : Yes, a long time, to be honest we talked to you to find out if something
they have been saying about you is true.

– Tramp : What?

– Akita : Well…

– Doberman : (interrupting) That you think you are a cat…

– Tramp : Hahaha, of course I don't think I'm a cat...

– Akita : I thought so…

– Tramp : I'm a cat! Look how I do Meow .

– Chihuahua : I can't believe it.

– Doberman : Of course you are not a cat.

– Tramp : Yes I am, look how I say Meow .

– Akita : Friend, you are not a cat and we can prove it to you.

– Tramp : How?

– Akita : Well, to begin with, if you were a cat we would chase you and we don't.

– Tramp : That's because I'm a tough cat, look how I do Meow (with a tough voice)

– Chihuahua : That doesn't prove anything, if you were a cat you would like fish
and you don't like it.

– Tramp : Well, what happens is that I am a vegetarian cat, look how I do Meow
(with an elegant voice and licking his fingers)

– Doberman : No, no, no, if you were a cat you could climb trees and I'm sure you
can't.

– Tramp : Of course I can't and that's because I'm a heavy cat, just watch how I do
Meow (heavy voice)

– Akita : If you were a cat you would be flexible and you could wash yourself with
your tongue.

– Tramp : Of course I can, look. (Improvises catlike movements)

– Chihuahua : Holy canines!

– Doberman : This is very disturbing.

– Akita : Ok, ok you are a cat but stop doing that.

– Tramp : See? I'm a cat and I say Meow .

– Doberman : How did you learn to do that?

– Wanderer : Yoga.

End.
 WITHOUT REMEDY
 The King ( Strong voice )
 The Queen ( Dignified Voice )
 The Jester ( Dramatic and enthusiastic voice, sometimes exaggerated )
Scenography : Main hall of a palace, two thrones for the king and queen. The
Court will go to the back facing the public. The play begins with their majesties
sitting in their respective seats.

– Narrator : In the last kingdom left on the face of the earth, a king and his queen
die of boredom.

– King: Bring our jester! My queen and I demand to be entertained.

( The jester enters the scene )

– Queen : ( Pointing at the jester ) You, make us laugh!

( The jester makes an extravagant bow in front of them )

– Jester : I, Sir Emedio, declare myself a philosopher and comedian. To prove it, I
bring astute observations that will make your minds explode! Literally.

– Queen : Literally?

– Jester : First, in recent days I have realized that the phobia that cats have of water
has reached such a point of exaggeration that they fear, they fear! On dry land, just
pay attention at night and listen to how they shout: Meow-hogo, Meow-hogo .

– King : Genius! Teacher! ( The Court applauds ) Tell us more.

– Jester : Of course your majesty… I, Sir Emedio, philosopher and comedian, am

not the only one who has noticed this!; We all know about the war between dogs
and cats, now they, the dogs who know about the fear of their enemies, take the
opportunity to mock their faces: A-wow, www .

– Queen : Brilliant smart man! Your observations will go down in history ( The Court
applauds )

– King : Continue, we need your knowledge.

– Jester : Now your majesties I bring you intrigue! What will happen if this
confidential information is told by the dogs? Any animal that has ever been in
danger from any type of feline will know where to take shelter. So I ask: What small
or medium-sized animal that serves as food for human beings is not or has not
been in danger from a feline? I prophesy that to be one step ahead we must
increase our production of fishing nets because in the future most of the animal
kingdom will be aquatic.

– King: Genius, prophet! Take off those lunatic clothes, from now on you will have
wealth and lands of your own, you will be the advisor of the crown. ( Everyone
applauds the jester )

End.