10 SO WHAT IS A FUNNEL?

A funnel is a deadly and fun adventure where

each player controls several level zero characters,
hoping one will survive. Death is to be expected, any
character that survives graduates to level 1.

9 CHARACTER CREATION
8 Each player controls three level zero characters.
Instead of using the normal character generation
from Tunnel Goons, each character starts with zero
in each of the three attributes. Instead, characters
are made unique by their possessions. Have fun!

For each of your characters:

6 7
××Roll D6 to determine what's in your locker.
××Roll 2D6 to determine your secret contraband.
××Finally, roll D6 to determine current Health
Points. It's been a gruesome day in school
fighting monsters.
××Though they might not live long, every character
deserves a name.

School Uniform: T-shirt with school emblem, shorts,

5 headband embroidered with your name, sandals.

1D6 ITEMS IN YOUR LOCKER

3 2
1 Adventuring boots and locket with a picture of
a missing relative.
2 Club and unsent passionate love letter.
3 Rope and glass shoe belonging to the man who
4 killed your best friend.
4 Torch and mysterious magic genie box marked
"Tiffany", empty.
5 Ancestral helmet and collar belonging to your
beloved missing pet.
6 Sword and invitation to a prestigious gala.

1 2D6 CONTRABAND
2 Chewing gum, extra sticky.
3 Spray can, favorite color.
4 Itching powder.
5 Ferocious pet ferret.
6 Firecracker and matches.
7 Mushroom (+1E for D6 rooms)
8 Stinkbomb.
1. LOCKER ROOM 2. CANTINA 3. CLASSROOM: MONSTER 9 Brass knuckles.
ANATOMY 4. CLASSROOM: DUNGEONEERING SAFETY
5. BASIC DUNGEON OBSTACLE COURSE 6. WRESTLING 10 Rum, 150 proof.
TRAINING HALL 7. MELEE TRAINING HALL 8. ASSEMBLY 11 Slingshot and D6 small stones.
HALL 9. TEACHERS LOUNGE 10. RECEPTION 12 Dark Scroll of Blinding, 1 use. By Eric K. Hill

An ear-piercing alarm sounds, followed by an
announcement by the principal - “Sabotage! All
monsters are loose, all students save yoursel...!”
The announcement abruptly ends with a scream
from the principals being eaten alive. :(
1. LOCKER ROOMS
××Student lockers containing personal items
and contraband.
××Bathroom stalls, usually used for smoking.
Covered in heretic graffiti. Purple Slime
emerging from the sewage.
2. CANTINA & KITCHEN
××Dinging tables, wooden benches, kitchenette
in northeast.
××Battle Turtle seated on dining table
ferociously munching on candy bars.
××Almost empty Vending Machine tipped over
on its side, revealing its contents.
→→2D6: 1-3 Hot pockets, 4-5 Power Bars, 6
Pocket bottle of rum.
××Kitchen has been raided. Ingredients, various
cooking utensils, Cast Iron Skillet and
Kitchen Knife are left in a pile.
3. CLASSROOM: MONSTER ANATOMY
××Taxidermied critters and monsters, science
equipment, desks.
××Junior Dragon thoroughly examining a dragon
anatomy chart behind the desk.
××Searching the desks reveal:
→→1D6: 1-2 Hall Pass 3-4 Half empty bottle
of medical-grade alcohol, 5 Combat grade
ruler, 6 Scalpel.
4. CLASSROOM: DUNGEONEERING SAFETY
××Bookshelves, safety routine posters, desks.
××Spell keeping the Antropromorphic Books
dormant has been broken. Six are looking
for revenge, the remaining is occupied with
reading the others
××Helmet left on the teacher's desk.
××Searching the desks reveals one item from
the Contraband table.
5. BASIC DUNGEON OBSTACLE COURSE
××Torchlight, stone walls, arched roof.
××Sudden flames from lava pits light the room.
The spell rendering the lava pits and spike traps
innocuous has been broken.
××Obstacle course must be traversed to advance.
××Battle Turtle swinging acrobatically on the bars,
eager for an exciting fight.
6. WRESTLING TRAINING HALL
××Dirt floor, torches line the walls. All cages empty.
××Mouth Beast and Battle Turtle entangled in a
wrestling match.
××Mallet and smelling salts on the floor in front of
the gong.
7. MELEE TRAINING HALL
××Dirt floor, torches line the walls. All cages empty.
××Pet Cockatrice eating the petrified body of
August, the Janitor Golem.
××Weapon Rack:
→→1D6: 1-2 Empty, 3-4 Slingshot, 5 Short Sword,
6 Cockatrice tail whip.
8. ASSEMBLY HALL
××Wooden walls, busts of previous principals and
famous alum, podium by northern wall.
××Mischievous Purple Slime dressed in hall
monitor outfit is asking for a Hall Pass.
××Two Mouth Beasts are using the busts as
bowling pins, shattering them with reckless
abandon.
9. TEACHER'S LOUNGE
××Cozy and quaint, upholstered arm chairs, purple
drapes, cabinet full of beverages.
××Three exctaticly cheering Purple Slimes
smashing all furniture.
××The renowned Magic Fire Extinguisher is
hanging on the west wall, holds one charge of
freezing magic. Obtuse mechanism, dangerous
to operate by untrained hands.
10. RECEPTION
××Marble floors, dark wooden walls, portcullis
blocking the exit.
××Pet Cockatrice and Junior Dragon in a sweaty
fight over body of newly fallen receptionist.
××Lever controlling the portcullis behind the
receptionist desk.
ANGRY & STARVED MONSTERS
Can be used as an encounter table if the players
waste time or if you happen to feel extra mean.
1. ANTROPROMORPHIC BOOK - DS 7 Grumpy
from being covered by student's childish scribbles
through the years.
2. MOUTH BEAST - DS 8 Large ball-shaped mess
of fur and mouths, starved. Big appetite and only
rests when fed.
3. PURPLE SLIME - DS 8 Changes form at will,
however, its purple color is a dead giveaway.
Digests fallen victims. DS increases by 1 for each
victim it consumes.
4. BATTLE TURTLE - DS 9 Loud, proud and hot-
tempered.
5. PET COCKATRICE - DS 11 Untreated wounds
caused by the Cockatrice's attack causes a target
to turn to stone. Rub with alcohol!
6. JUNIOR DRAGON - DS 12 Wishes secretly, in
their heart of hearts, that they had an easier time
making friends but dragons have a reputation to
maintain. Even these younglings are fearsome.
SURVIVORS: EARLY GRADUATION
Waiting outside in the schoolyard is a gang
of laughing students from Lake Primordial
Adventuring High, a rival school. But first... It's
time for an Early Graduation!
Any characters still living advances to first level,
either rolling on the Graduation table or deciding
on two attribute points based on how this
adventure transpired.
1D6 GRADUATION
1 2 Skulker
2 1 Skulker + 1 Erudite
3 1 Skulker + 1 Brute
4 2 Erudite
5 1 Erudite + 1 Brute
6 2 Brute
Funnel Goons is based on and compatible with
Tunnel Goons by Nate Treme.