Paybacks Too

by Gabrielle Goldsby

“Mac? Phone!”

I pulled my gloves off and wiped my forehead. The weatherwoman said it would be
ninety degrees today, but it felt closer to a hundred. I took the phone from my mom
and smiled my thanks. I waved goodbye to her and started towards the building that
housed the refrigeration and my office.

“Mackenzie’s Flowers.” I closed the door to my air-conditioned office.

“So you go by Mac now, do you?” The teasing tone was unfamiliar but the voice…I
had been hearing that voice in my dreams nearly every night for the last month.

I tried not to grin but I failed miserably. “Cameron?”

“In the flesh, well sort of.”

“I didn’t think you would call.” There was silence on the other end of the line.

“I almost didn’t but...well I’m in town today. How are you?”

“I'm fine and you?” I wish I could tell her the truth. I had been thinking about her for
weeks, that I worried that she wouldn’t call and when three weeks passed I had con-
sidered trying to find her number. It had been hard but I had kept myself from doing
so. As much as I disliked the idea I had to leave everything up to Cameron. If she
didn’t want to see me, there wasn’t much I could do about it.

The warm chuckle from the other end of the phone was all the answer Cameron was
willing to give. “I’m sorry it’s taken so long for me to call.”

“I understand. I didn’t think...”

“What didn’t you think Mac?”

“It’s been a month. I thought…it might have just been a revenge thing for you. I
thought I would never see you again.”

“I’ve been here on business for a day or two but I didn’t have time for conversation…
Of course our conversation was fairly quick last time.”
“Now you’re being cruel,” I said lightly even though it did hurt that our time together
seemed to mean so little to her.

“Yes, I am.”

I felt a change of subject might be in order. “Will you be coming back soon?”

“Why?”

“I'm just curious.”

“You are huh? You’re just curious?”

“Well, I want to see you.” I put my hand on my forehead and slouched down in my
chair thinking, how god damn stupid can I be? “Where are you?”

Cameron cleared her throat. “What are you doing, Mac?” Her voice was soft. She
sounded like she was whispering in my ear.

“Nothing, I’m just sitting here in my office.” There was another pause.

“I like that you are honest with me.”

“I try to be.”

“I seem to remember that you didn’t put much stock in honesty in your younger
years.”

“Look you don’t know me, Cameron. You didn’t know me then. You never wanted to
either. So don’t act like…” This was not going as I had planned. I massaged the
bridge of my nose.

“What are we doing here?” Cameron’s voice sounded exasperated. “It seems to me
that it would be easier for you to chalk this up as the one that got away. Why would
you open yourself up to me…to the possibility of being hurt? I know you say you’ve
changed but…it’s obvious, I still have issues.”

“I was seventeen years old, Cameron, hell you were only sixteen. Tell me what I
should have said, who I could have talked to? I didn’t understand what I was feeling.
I know that there is no excuse, but I want to try to make it up to you. If you feel the
need…to treat me…to say things that hurt I can take that too. I’ve been knocked
down by the best of them, I always managed to get back up.”

“That still doesn’t tell me why you’re doing this? Is it because you feel guilty?”
“Yes…and no. It’s also because…I will always wonder, what if.”

“What if what?”

“What if I had told you that I watched you in homeroom. That I passed your house on
my bike sometimes four times a day in the hopes that I would catch you coming out.
What if I told you that the only reason I didn’t get myself expelled earlier is because I
wouldn’t get to see you Monday through Friday.”

“I wondered…” She cleared her throat. “I wondered why you stopped hitting people
our senior year.” She seemed to be thinking and when she spoke her voice sounded
thick and old as if we hadn’t been talking this whole time at all. “Seems like you fo-
cused in on me more. You made my life hell.”

“I know,” is what I said, but what I didn’t know is that it would hurt this deeply. It is
that deep-down, bone-tired hurt that is mean enough to let you sleep just so that you
would dream of happier times. “I know you won’t believe me, but I used to tell my-
self daily that I would stop calling you names and that I would tell you the truth. I
tried, but each time…each day I would see the dislike in your eyes. The only way I
thought I could have contact with you was to pick on you. I knew if I didn’t say any-
thing…if I didn’t seek you out, that you would be happy to never speak another word
to me.”

“And you couldn’t just allow that of course.” Her voice had that hard edge again.

“No, I … I couldn’t. I wanted to stop so badly. I …I cried when I made you cry that
day.”

“I believe you,” she sighed. “I wish I could just let it go.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to.” I fidgeted in my chair feeling like we were saying good-
bye and it made the area between my chest and neck ache. “I’m not the same person
that I was back then. I know it’s hard for you to believe, but I’m not.”

“Are you ever going to tell me what caused this metamorphosis, my little butterfly?”

She was trying to lighten the mood and for some reason that hurt too. Would we ever
get to the point where we didn’t have to try so hard? Was I wrong for putting her
through this? Maybe I’m being selfish. Maybe I should just leave her alone. I smiled
sadly. “Perhaps one day but not over the phone.”

“Oh, you seem sure that our paths will cross again.”

I laughed, “I always knew they would.”

“Hmm, funny I always hoped they wouldn’t.”

I opened my mouth to protest but decided against it. There was a long silence. I fully
expected Cameron to tell me she needed to go.

“Mackenzie, are you there?”

“I like the way you say my name...you never said my name in school, why?”

“Fear of death and dismemberment I believe.” She laughed and I laughed too, albeit a
little nervously.

“Mackenzie?”

“Yes?”

“What are you wearing?” Her voice was low, almost shy. I didn’t need to look at my
arms to know that the hairs were standing straight up.

“I…I just finished work.”

“Mmm, are you going to start lying to me now?”

“No, I’m not lying I uh...god.” I pushed my chair back and looked down at the diag-
onal beams of sunlight on my denim-clad legs. “I’m wearing faded, grubby jeans,
white t-shirt, and dirty boots.” I winced as I waited for her reaction.

“How are you wearing your hair?”

I snatched the red scarf from my head. “It’s in a braid.”

“Oh, no hat or anything?”

“Uh, no.”

“No?”

“Uh well, I had on a scarf but I…took it off.”

“I bet you look beautiful.”

“I look dirty.” I smiled and spun around in my chair inordinately happy for the com-
pliment.
“Um hmm, but still beautiful. Where are you right now?”

“I’m at work.” She knows that dumb ass she called you here. “ I’m in my office…at
my desk.

“Are you there alone?”

“Yes, everyone’s gone home for the day. We do most of our work in the morning.
It’s...cooler.”

“Mackenzie?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you have a couch in that office of yours?” I looked across the room at the hand-
me-down couch that I had gleefully taken from my mother in exchange for hauling it
away.

“Uh…yeah I do. I sometimes crash here…uh, when it gets too late.”

“I see. Is it comfortable?”

“Yes, yes very comfortable.” I said a bit to eagerly and then placed my hand over the
bridge of my nose. What the hell is wrong with me, anyway? “Why all the questions,
Cameron? You need a place to crash?” She chuckled and then there was silence on
the other end of the phone.

“I thought you might like to go sit on it while we talk.”

“Oh...I can if you want.”

“Yes, I would like you to.” I got up and walked over to the couch; glad she was un-
able to see how shaky my legs were. “What does it look like?”

I stared down at the rather old leather couch that had a piece of tape over each of its
arms to hold the stuffing in and winced. “Well…it’s leather.”

“Really? I like leather. Is it nice?”

I eyed the piece of furniture hoping it had suddenly become more fashionable since
the last time I had bothered to look at it.

“Uh...no. Not really.”

“Wouldn’t you like to get out of those dirty clothes?” I blinked and looked down at
my jeans. “Are you going to answer me or just breathe real hard in my ear?”

“Uh yeah, yes, I would.”

“Well, let’s start with the t-shirt.”

I nodded and then remembered that Cameron couldn’t see me, so I said okay.
Cameron chuckled.

“It’s alright if you need to put the phone down.”

I nodded again, my hands shaking as I pulled the shirt over my head. I picked up the
phone half expecting Cameron to have hung up but I could still hear her breathing
softly on the other end of the phone.

“Tell me what your bra looks like.”

I fearfully looked down and almost breathed a sigh of relief when I noticed that it
was my good black bra. “It’s black ...lacy uh, I think it looks good.” I swallowed hard
and wished that I were a bit more verbose.

Cameron chuckled again. “Do you have matching panties as well?”

“Um yes...there was a sale…” Oh good God, please make me stop talking. I grabbed
my forehead as Cameron laughed softly.

“You want to take your pants off and describe them to me?”

“I'm not very good at this,” I told her as I unfastened my pants.

“You’re doing fine,” she said breathlessly.

“Uh okay...” I held the phone between my shoulder and ear as I pushed my pants
down over my thighs.

“Did you remember to take your boots off first?”

“Uh yes...” I looked down at my jeans pooled around my boots and closed my eyes
and said a miserable, “no.”

“That’s alright, sweetheart, take them off first and then take the pants off. Tell me
when you’re done.”

Goose bumps ran up my arms at her gentle instruction. I sat the boots on the floor and
neatly folded my jeans. “Okay, they’re off.”
“Are you cold?”

“No, well it is a little cold in here but I’m fine.”

“Tell me about the panties.”

“They’re black, lace like the bra.”

“And you got them on sale, right?”

“Yes, Victoria’s…Secret.” God now I know she is laughing at me. She probably
thinks I’ve never done this before. Not that I have but I don’t want her to know that.

“Hmm, does the bra clasp in front?”

“Yes.”

“Would you like to take it off?”

“I...yes, I would.”

“Take it off for me then.”

I began to unfasten my bra, my breast burst out of the confines of the fabric like
horses at the starting gate. “I didn’t get to see your breasts a month ago.”

“No, you didn’t.” I pulled the bra off and laid it on the floor.

“I remember thinking they were a nice size.”

“Yes, I would say they are,” I said with false confidence.

“Your nipples are brown, aren’t they?”

“How did you know?”

I sensed that she shrugged. “Your skin tone, they would have to be. Can you touch
them for me?”

“Yes,” I said shyly as if it were the first time I had ever touched myself. I rolled my
eyes. Hell, my poor breasts probably didn’t remember the last time they had been
touched by anyone other than me.

“I regret not touching you.”

“You do?” I closed my eyes and let the soft voice croon in my ear.

“Yes, I should have spent more time with you.”

“I would like to see you again.” I continued to caress my breasts.

I thought she wasn’t going to say anything but then I heard her swallow. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” I said truthfully. “ I just…if you’re ever here again I would like to see
you.”

“What if you’re seeing someone by then?”

“I won’t be.” I didn’t mean for it to sound like a promise.

“Take the panties off.”

“Now?”

“Yes, now.”

I stood up and lowered my panties.

“What do you look like?” She asked the question was unexpectedly brusque.

“I uh, I don’t know. I think I look okay.”

Cameron laughed. “Not one for descriptions are you, Mac?”

“No, I guess not.”

“That’s alright you don’t have to talk, I’ll do the talking. Lay down for me, Mac.”

“Alright.”

“Are you comfortable?”

“Yes… yes.” I said a little louder as Cameron didn’t answer.

She cleared her throat. “You have… touched yourself before haven’t you?”

“Yes,” I admitted as I streaked my nipples until they were both hard beneath my fin-
gers my eyes closed as I imagined it was Cameron touching me.
“What do you want to do now?”

“I want to...I want to touch myself.”

“Hmm, aren’t you already doing that?”

“Yes, please Cameron don’t tease me.”

“I'm sorry, I didn’t mean to. Wouldn’t you rather have a little foreplay first?”
Cameron still sounded amused but her voice was shaky and low. Suddenly, I
wondered if she too was touching herself. The thought sent heat to my center and
caused me to groan.

“What are you thinking?” She whispered.

“I wish you were here with me right now.”

“What would you want me to do?”

My legs fell open and I trailed my fingers down my stomach and closed my eyes.

“Are you touching yourself, Mac?

“Yes.”

“You will do it slowly for me, won’t you?” I slowed my movements, my eyes closed
as I heard Cameron’s breathing increase...my suspicions were confirmed when
Cameron’s voice broke. “You are a very beautiful woman, Mackenzie Bryant.”

I smiled as I remembered the look of passion on Cameron’s face as we lay on the

locker room floor. “So are you. Cameron, I can’t...”

“I know, Mac. Go ahead.” I moved my fingers slowly over my clitoris then I moved
to my entrance and paused. As if she sensed my hesitation she said, “you don’t have
to wait.”

A moan escaped my lips as I entered the tips of my fingers with a slow, steady pres-
sure. I pulled out until only the tips remained before I entered myself fully. My hips
countered my fingers. I met each thrust with ever increasing pleasure.

“You’re very wet aren’t you?”

“Yes, God yes.” With a will that I didn’t know I possessed I kept my movements
slow. Finally, I could not stave off my climax. I was moving slowly throughout my
orgasm; the pleasure was so intense that I nearly rendered myself unconscious in the
process. By the time I got my breathing under control, I was flushed with embarrass-
ment. I pulled my wet fingers out, sliding them over my clitoris and up my stomach,
the trail cooling in the air-conditioned room.

“Was all that for me?”

“Yes, it was all for you.”

“Well, just think of how it will be when you get the real thing?”

“Mmm.” I stretched my arms above my head and grinned at the ceiling. “I guess I
will just have to take your word for it.”

“I’ll be back in a week, two at the most. I would like to see you then.”

“Alright.”

“No questions, huh?”

“No questions. Should I give you my address?”

“I already have it. I found you for the reunion committee, remember?”

“Yes, but what about my work address? I’m sometimes here late and I don’t want…I
don’t want to miss you.”

Cameron didn’t say anything. Her silences scared me because I do not know what she
is thinking. “I have that too.”

“So do you have any idea when you’ll be back?” I asked trying not to sound too
eager.

“I can’t tell you that. It will just have to be a surprise. You don’t mind surprises do
you?”

“From you, I wouldn’t mind.”

“Alright then, you have been warned. Be prepared to be very surprised.”

I felt an overwhelming sense of joy, her voice sounded light and amused; she was at
ease with me. Maybe gaining her trust won’t be as hard as I thought. My hand trailed
down my stomach, my finger plucking at my navel ring as I allowed my voice to
deepen. “You might not want to wear the same perfume that you had on at the re-
union.” I closed my eyes, my nostrils flared as I imagined that I had caught the scent
of her on the air. Arousal curled in the pit of my stomach. “I will know if you come
within ten feet of me.”

“Really?”

“Mmmm hmm, really.”

“Interesting. Mackenzie?”

“Yes, Cameron?”

“Nice navel ring.”

I smiled again as I circled the ring with my finger and gave it a gentle tug. “Thank
you, I kind of like it myself.” I sat up. “How…how did you know...we didn’t…I
didn’t take my clothes off when we were together.”

Cameron laughed. “You might want to close your blinds the next time you decide to
have some fun at the office, sweetie.”

I jumped up and rushed to the window, pulling slats in the blinds down slightly so
that I could peer outside. Cameron sat across the street in her little sports car;
sunglasses obscured her eyes but not the large grin on her face. She blew me a kiss.

“Oh God ...oh my God.” I let the blinds go and let the phone drop to my side. Surely
she couldn’t see me from across the street could she? I pulled the blinds down slightly
and noticed for the first time the smudged imprint of a hand on the window. I put my
hand up to the glass. My palm dwarfed the imprint. My nostrils flared, as I once again
smelled the perfume that had lingered on my lips for hours after our last encounter. I
carefully raised the phone to my ear. “Um…Hi?”

Cameron’s laugh was throaty. “I will see you soon, okay?”

The phone went dead in my ear. I tossed it onto the desk and plopped down in my
chair ignoring the chill to my backside. A slow smile spread across my face. I will see
you soon she’d said.

I could work with soon.

The End?