A BLUNDER PORTFOLIO

The Manila Times

The Manila Times
The Manila Times

Final Requirement in
Journalistic Editing (JOUR 40063)

Submitted to:
Prof. Prestoline Suyat

Prepared by:
Flores, Khiel Precious
Orteo, Ma. Angelica
Paneda, Mary Grace
Pulgo, Adrian
Rago, Kriszel
Sibucao, Juan Carlos
BAJ 4-2N
 TABLE OF CONTENTS
TABLE OF CONTENTS
TABLE OF CONTENTS

I. The Manila Times through Time Mary Grace Paneda

II. Article 1: Police Beat Kriszel Rago

III. Article 2: Political Beat Mary Grace Paneda

IV. Article 3: Gender Beat Khiel Precious Flores

V. Article 4: Economics Beat Flores, Paneda, and Rago

VI. Article 5: Public Health Beat Ma. Angelica Orteo

VII. Article 6: Entertainment Beat Juan Carlos Sibucao

VIII. Article 7: Malacañang Beat Adrian Pulgo

IX. Article 8: Environment Beat Pulgo, Orteo, and Sibucao

NOTE: The team has also undergone two roundtable discussions to consult
and corroborate the technical revisions, contextual impressions,
and ethical observations we did and/or noted per article.
 The Manila Times through Time
Mary Grace Paneda

The Manila Times was founded in October 1898, around the time that news
about the Treaty of Paris being signed came out: ending the Spanish-American War
and transferring the Philippines from Spanish to American sovereignty.

As a response to the high demand to publish an American-like paper by the

increasing number of United States Forces occupying the country, Englishman
Thomas Gowan started the “oldest existing English-language newspaper in the
Philippines”.

Considering that, the publication witnessed and even became a part of the
longest history of the Filipinos and has been in the hands of different people:

- 1898: Thomas Gowan, an Englishman who had lived in the Philippines.

- 1899: George Sellner (The Manila Times’ business manager and a
prominent member of the American community in Manila) bought the
newspaper for profitable financial opportunities.
- 1907-1917: Thomas C. Kinney incorporated the Times Company, with
a board of directors composed of American and British businessmen;
Filipino employees of The Manila Times called an all-out strike against
their American supervisors whom they believed misrepresented them.
- 1918-1921: Manuel L. Quezon (the First President of the
Commonwealth and Father of the Filipino Language) owned and
managed the Times for his vision of a “militant Filipino organ of public
opinion,” deeming the publication as the ‘first genuinely Filipino daily in
English’ by the Filipinos.
- 1921-1926: Fairchild, a former Hawaiian senator, owned and
supervised the business but was naturally partial to news items leaning
toward the sugar industry (his business).
- 1926-1928: Jacob Rosenthal, a businessman in the shoe industry.
- 1929-1930: Don Alejandro Roces Sr., the Father of Philippine
Journalism, bought the publication but closed it down due to owning
another English paper back then.
- 1945-1972: Revived by his son, Ramon Roces, and was further
managed by the whole Roces clan until it closed down again due to the
declaration of Martial Law.
- 1986-1988: Still under the Roces clan, sold it to the Gokongweis in
1988, and reacquired it in 1999 due to suspected fraud.
- 1999: Mark Jimenez, a businessman, wanted his ownership to be
undisclosed at first until he sold it to businessman Dr. Dante Arevalo
Ang a year after.
 - 2000-current: Ang Clan; On May 1, 2017, its chairman emeritus Dante
Arevalo Ang was appointed by Philippine President Rodrigo Roa
Duterte as a special envoy of the President for international public
relations; the current president and chief executive officer (CEO) and
executive editor is his son, Dante Francis "Klink" Ang II.

Currently, the publication publishes under The Manila Times Publishing Corp.
and presents itself as having the fourth-largest circulation of the newspapers in the
Philippines, following the Philippine Daily Inquirer, the Manila Bulletin, and The
Philippine Star.
 Police Beat
Kriszel Rago

ARTICLE LINK:
https://www.manilatimes.net/2022/06/15/news/national/suv-driver-surrenders/184746
5
DATE: June 15, 2022
AUTHOR: Francis Earl Cueto

PROPOSED TECHNICAL REVISION:

SUV driver involved in viral hit-and-run incident, surrenders

Jose Antonio Sanvicente, the driver of the SUV involved in the viral hit-and-run
incident in Mandaluyong surrendered to authorities on Wednesday.

The SUV driver showed up following calls from the public and the national police to
face the charges against him.

As recalled, on June 13, PNP Chief Officer-in-Charge Vicente Danao Jr. issued an
ultimatum for him to surrender.

Sanvicente, along with his parents and a lawyer, appeared before the Philippine
National Police (PNP) and media at the Pulis @ Ur Serbis program hosted by UNTV
held at Camp Crame.

During the program, Sanvicente apologized to his victim, Christian Floralde, a

security guard who suffered major injuries after getting hit by his vehicle - Toyota
RAV4 with plate number NCO 3781 - which the family argued, was owned by San
Vicente’s father.

"My apologies sa nangyari, my apologies to Mr. Floralde at sa kanyang pamilya, (My

apologies for what happened, my apologies to Mr. Floralde and his family,)"
Sanvicente said.

Pressed by the media to detail what happened and why he continued driving,
Sanvicente said he could not clearly remember what transpired.

"Hindi ko na po talaga maalala kasi blur na since nung nangyari, (I really can't
remember what happened; it was a blur)," he said.

Sanvicente’s camp explained that he panicked after the incident.

"Hindi niya gustong mangyari 'yong aksidente. Nagkataon lang natakot siya,
nag-panic siya. Kami naman ang sinabi ko sa pamilya we do not condone the
incident as reported on the viral media. (He did not wish for it to happen. He
panicked. I told the family that we don’t condone the incident as reported on the viral
media)" his lawyer, Danny Macalino said.

“Kailangan magpakita si Anton nang personal para mahayag niya ang totoong
nangyari at saka mag-extend ng apology sa publiko (Anton needs to present himself
to narrate what happened and to apologize)," he added.

Sanvicente’s camp also surrendered the SUV to authorities and promised to

shoulder all the medical expenses of the victim.

According to Danao, Sanvicente will undergo a preliminary investigation.

The Land Transportation Office earlier revoked Sanvicente’s license after failing to
address two show-cause orders from the said office.

NOTES ON TECHNICALITY:

● The author used unnecessary names in the lead paragraph.

● In the original article, the author placed the translations in between sentences,
which may confuse the readers.
● The author put less necessary details in between paragraphs rather than
putting them at the bottom of the article — following the inverted pyramid style
in news writing.

NOTES ON CONTEXT:

● The headline follows the commonly used format ‘subject-verb-object’ however

the incident/reason on why the SUV driver surrenders weren’t mentioned —
using only the term ‘SUV driver’ may confuse the reader since it is too vague
and may pertain to any other SUV driver on any incident.
● The article lacked details about the press conference and how the SUV
driver’s camp led to such actions - surrendered and appeared before the
police and the media.
● The article also lacked details about the hit-and-run incident - which is
necessary for readers, especially the new ones to understand why and how
such news happened.

NOTES ON ETHICS:

As per the Philippine Press Institute’s Journalist’s Code of Ethics, Francis Earl Cueto
didn’t violate any ethical conditions upon writing this article.
ORIGINAL ARTICLE:

SUV driver surrenders

(UPDATE) JOSE Antonio Sanvicente, the driver of the SUV (sports utility vehicle)
involved in a hit-and-run incident in Mandaluyong City, surrendered to Philippine
National Police Chief Officer in Charge LtGen. Vicente Danao Jr. on Wednesday.

He was accompanied by his parents and a lawyer. They surrendered also the vehicle
with plate number NCO 3781.

"My apologies sa nangyari (about what happened), my apologies to Mr. [Christian

Joseph] Floralde at sa kanyang pamilya (and to his family)," Sanvicente said at a
press conference in Camp Crame.

Floralde, a security guard, was injured when Sanvicente rammed him with his car
and ran him over when the guard, who was helping man traffic, signaled for him to
stop.

Pressed by the media to detail what happened and why he continued driving,
Sanvicente said he could not clearly remember what transpired.

"Hindi ko na po talaga maalala kasi blur na since nung nangyari (I really can't
remember what happened; it was a blur)," he said.

Sanvicente denied that he is a drug addict.

His lawyer, Danny Macalino, said Sanvicente panicked after the incident.

"Hindi niya gustong mangyari 'yung aksidente. Nagkataon lang natakot siya,
nag-panic siya. Kami naman ang sinabi ko sa pamilya we do not condone the
incident as reported on the viral media. Kailangan magpakita si Anton ng personal
para mahayag niya ang totoong nangyari at saka mag-extend ng apology sa publiko
(He did not wish for it to happen. He panicked. I told his family that he should be
presented to narrate what happened and to apologize)," Macalino said.

He debunked rumors that they reached out to the Floralde camp for a monetary
settlement.

Sanvicente said that they decided to show up after Danao issued an ultimatum for
him to surrender.

The Sanvicente family promised to shoulder all the medical expenses of the victim.
Danao said Sanvicente will undergo a preliminary investigation.

Sanvicente was previously summoned by the Land Transportation Office, but he did
not show up. His driver's license was revoked.
 Political Beat
Mary Grace Paneda

ARTICLE LINK:
https://www.manilatimes.net/2022/06/22/news/national/sara-names-former-pcgg-chai
rman-as-new-spokesman/1848178
DATE: June 22, 2022
AUTHOR: Catherine S. Valente

PROPOSED TECHNICAL REVISION:

Ex-PCGG chairman will serve as VP-elect Duterte’s spox

Former acting chairman of the Presidential Commission on Good Government

(PCGG) Reynaldo Munsayac will serve as the new spokesperson for incoming Vice
President Sara Duterte-Carpio, her office announced on Tuesday.

Starting on June 21, Munsayac will replace Liloan Mayor Ma. Christina Frasco has
now joined the Cabinet of President-elect Ferdinand "Bongbong" Marcos Jr. as
secretary for the Department of Tourism.

"[Duterte-Carpio is] grateful for Mayor Frasco's help in the timely and effective
communication of her messages to Filipinos through the media," her camp said in a
statement.

Even before, Munsayac and Duterte-Carpio have already had a close relationship as
classmates in law school at the San Sebastian College of Law where the former
graduated class valedictorian.

Munsayac also assisted her in establishing the worldwide group Tapang at Malasakit
in 2017 while he was a designated commissioner and acting chairman of the PCGG.

In 2021, he resigned from his post “to help campaign for Inday Sara” and even filed
her certificate of candidacy for the vice presidency.

"Munsayac's professional portfolio is highlighted by his unquestionable integrity and

dedication to governance and public service, and the vice president-elect is confident
that he will be able to bring this experience to his new duty," Duterte-Carpio camp
said.

PCGG is a quasi-judicial government agency of the Philippines created in 1986 to

recover the ill-gotten wealth accumulated by the late dictator Ferdinand Marcos Sr.
and his family.
In 2022, the incoming Philippine administration will be led by the late dictator's only
son, President-elect Ferdinand "BongBong" Marcos Jr., and VP-elect Sara
Duterte-Carpio.

NOTES ON TECHNICALITY:

● Headline: Revised; to add an urgent and stronger element on the news

subject.
● Lead: Slightly revised; to add “acting” in his previous position (an important
detail); to immediately mention Munsayac’s name.
● 2nd paragraph: Compression; just add that Munsayac will be starting on June
21 and it’s basically the 3rd paragraph too; compressing the two avoid
repetition.
● 3rd paragraph: Removed; same reason mentioned above.
● 4th-6th paragraph: Weak maneuver; author started off strong with the PCGG
detail but ran around the bush to quote from the press released statement; the
author could’ve easily chosen one quote or none at all.
● 7th-8th paragraph: Combined; having one essence.
● 9th paragraph: Revised; to add detail that this happened during his post in
PCGG.
● 10th paragraph: Revised; to add the detail that he filer her COC for the vice
presidency.
● 11th paragraph: As is. Good quote.
● 12th-13th paragraph: Additional context: to insert the PCGG mandate and its
connection to the new Marcos administration.

NOTES ON CONTEXT:

● The author established the framing/angling of the story through a significant

context: the “former PCGG chair under new Marcos administration” context.
● Though grounding or starting off strong with an important context, the author
mainly based on the statement or press release and didn’t directly explain the
following details:
○ The Presidential Commission on Good Government (PCGG) is a
quasi-judicial government agency of the Philippines whose primary
mandate recovering ill-gotten wealth accumulated by former dictator
Ferdinand Marcos.
○ Lawyer Reynold Munsayac, a former chairperson of the said agency
will now serve (or is now serving) as the new spokesman for Vice
President Sara Duterte-Carpio.
○ Vice President Sara Duterte-Carpio was the running mate and the
current Vice President of President Ferdinand “BongBong” Marcos Jr.
 ○ Ferdinand “BongBong” Marcos is the only son of the late dictator
Ferdinand Marcos.
● The author noted that Munsayac and the Vice President were classmates in
law school, wherein the former became the class' valedictorian. The author
also added that Munsayac assisted her in establishing the worldwide group
Tapang at Malasakit in 2017.
○ This gives two suggested conclusions to readers:
■ The “academic-work relationship” may insinuate how Padrino
System continues to thrive in the Philippine politics
■ The said credential and their early “academic-work relationship”
may also give off the idea that she trusts him and his
capabilities.
● Lastly, he mentioned how he resigned as commissioner and acting chairman
of the PCGG in 2021 to help campaign for the now vice president.
○ The article mainly focused on the Munsayac-Duterte link, while Pres.
BongBong was only mentioned once, citing: Reynold Munsayac will
replace Liloan Mayor Ma. Christina Frasco, who is joining the Cabinet
of President-elect Ferdinand "Bongbong" Marcos Jr. as secretary of the
Department of Tourism.
○ BongBong wasn’t mentioned through a direct link between Munsayac
and Duterte — this may or may not be the author’s way of playing safe,
but establishing the article on the “former PCGG chair under new
Marcos administration” context really gives an eerie truth to the
readers.

NOTES ON ETHICS:

As per the Philippine Press Institute’s Journalist’s Code of Ethics, Catherine Valente
violated:

“I shall scrupulously report and interpret the news, taking care not to suppress
essential facts nor to distort the truth by omission or improper emphasis. I recognize
the duty to air the other side and the duty to correct substantive errors promptly.”

She may or may not have intentionally meant to violate this ethical condition
because she did try to frame it in its most productive angle, but failed to do so when
she focused on the press release and the relationship between Munsayac and
Duterte-Carpio only.

Valente started to highlight how an ex-PCGG chairman is now the VP-elect's

spokesperson, but didn't further interpret the juxtaposition/irony of how this is all
happening under the new Marcos administration.
ORIGINAL ARTICLE:

Sara names former PCGG chairman as new spokesman

(UPDATE) A FORMER chairman of the Presidential Commission on Good

Government (PCGG) will serve as the new spokesman for incoming Vice President
Sara Duterte-Carpio, her office announced on Tuesday.

Reynold Munsayac will replace Liloan Mayor Ma. Christina Frasco, who is joining the
Cabinet of President-elect Ferdinand "Bongbong" Marcos Jr. as secretary of the
Department of Tourism.

"Lawyer Reynold Munsayac will replace Mayor Christina Frasco as the spokesman
for Vice President-elect Sara Duterte-Carpio starting Tuesday, June 21," the vice
president-elect's camp said in a statement.

Duterte-Carpio is "grateful for Mayor Frasco's help in the timely and effective
communication of her messages to Filipinos through the media," her camp added.

"[Frasco] was committed to the truthful dissemination of information, and her duty as
the spokesman was marked with intelligence and grace," Duterte-Carpio camp said.

"Inday Sara wishes the incoming Secretary of the Department of Tourism Frasco all
the best in her new role in nation-building," it added.

Munsayac and the vice president-elect were classmates in law school.

The new spokesman was the valedictorian of their law school class.

A practicing lawyer, Munsayac assisted Duterte-Carpio in establishing the worldwide

group Tapang at Malasakit in 2017.

In 2021, he resigned as commissioner and acting chairman of the PCGG to help

campaign for the now vice president.

"Munsayac's professional portfolio is highlighted by his unquestionable integrity and

dedication to governance and public service, and the vice president-elect is confident
that he will be able to bring this experience to his new duty," Duterte-Carpio camp
said.
 Gender Beat
Khiel Precious Flores

ARTICLE LINK:
https://www.manilatimes.net/2022/06/08/news/chr-probes-police-misconduct/184658
9/amp
DATE: June 8, 2022
AUTHOR: Christian Crow Maghanoy

PROPOSED TECHNICAL REVISION:

CHR probes police misconduct, urges victims to come forward

The Commission on Human Rights (CHR) will conduct investigations after multiple
incidents of ‘grave violations and misconduct’ were committed by several police
officers in Manila, Las Piñas, and Caloocan.

“CHR rejects the abuse of authority in any form, most particularly when it involves
the exploitation of the most vulnerable members of our society,” CHR Executive
Director Jacqueline Ann de Guia said on May 31.

This is in response to multiple reports of alleged violations committed by police

officers, including:

● The molestation of a 15-year-old boy in a Las Piñas city police precinct,

where an officer sexually assaulted a minor inside his office.

The Las Piñas police arrested the suspect after the boy's mother had
complained.

According to Police chief Col. Jaime Santos, the suspect will face
multiple child abuse charges, as well as possible removal from service
and loss of benefits upon retirement.

● The sexual harassment of an 18-year-old student in a Manila

restaurant where a police officer from Cagayan Valley masturbated in
front of her.

The police officer was placed under the custody of the Manila Police
District and will face unjust vexation charges.

● Six cops physically attacked and cornered a local vendor in Caloocan

City.

De Guia urges victims of sexual and physical abuse to assert their rights and
report the cases to authorities.
 “We encourage the public to avail of the Commission’s Human Rights
E-Lawyering Service for free, real-time legal advice and counselling,” she
added.

NOTES ON TECHNICALITY:

● Headline: Revised for a more specific headline with an additional context. The
comma is used instead of a semicolon to substitute for ‘and’.
● Lead: Removed ‘expressing strong condemnation’ to avoid sounding like a
feature article.
● First paragraph: Instead of using alleged, a single quotation mark was used to
indicate that someone has been quoted for that specific phrase.
● Following paragraphs: In the original article, the author narrated the stories
one by one with so many details which can feel overwhelming and
unnecessary. Hence, in the proposed revision, the second paragraph is a
quote from CHR, following the cases mentioned in the story in bulleted form.
This will help the reader understand the story more efficiently.
● 14th Paragraph: Removed Republic Act Citation. Citing Republic Acts can be
done on a piece of follow-up news once the perpetrators have been
convicted.
● Last paragraph: good quote, retained.

NOTES ON CONTEXT:

The context was clear but the author has given too much context than necessary.

○ For instance, the author narrated The policeman allegedly touched the
teenage boy's body until he reached the boy's private part. The officer
allegedly even brought the minor inside his office where he molested
the boy further, which is not crucial and unnecessary to the news story.
Reporting on crimes involving victims is not as simple as reporting
every detail that can be found, even if it comes from official sources.
Consider who might be affected by the information that is shared,
either during an investigation or after a conviction. Suspects and
victims both have rights.
○ The author over-contextualized the story that his narration made the
story sound vulgar and informal.
○ The author used the term victim instead of a survivor which put the
story in the proper context. According to RAINN (The Rape, Abuse &
Incest National Network–the largest nonprofit anti-sexual assault
organization in the United States), the term victim is used when
referring to someone who has recently been affected by sexual
violence or when discussing a particular crime which in this case is
 appropriate. Survivor is used when referring to someone who has gone
through the recovery process or when discussing on the short- or
long-term effects of sexual violence (usually used by advocacy
groups).

NOTES ON ETHICS:

As per the Philippine Press Institute’s Journalist’s Code of Ethics, Christian Crow
Maghanoy didn’t violate any ethical conditions upon writing this article.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE:

CHR probes police misconduct

EXPRESSING strong condemnation, the Commission on Human Rights (CHR) said

it will investigate the alleged series of police misconduct in the cities of Las Piñas,
Manila, and Caloocan.

CHR Executive Director Jacqueline Ann de Guia referred to the alleged molestation
of a 15-year-old boy at sub-station 1 of the Las Piñas City Police last May 31.

Reports said the incident happened when the victim was approached by the police
officer while his mother was conducting a Bible study session inside the precinct.

The policeman allegedly touched the teenage boy's body until he reached the boy's
private part. The officer allegedly even brought the minor inside his office where he
molested the boy further.

The Las Piñas police arrested the suspect after the boy's mother had complained.

According to Police chief Col. Jaime Santos, the suspect will face multiple child
abuse charges, as well as possible removal from service and loss of benefits upon
retirement.

Another minor in a restaurant in Manila was also a victim of police sexual

harassment.

According to the 18-year-old student, she was waiting for her order when a police
officer sat beside her and masturbated in front of her.

The girl's scream alerted the barangay tanod (village watchman) patrolling the area.
They brought him to the nearest police station.

The suspect, a police officer from Cagayan Valley, was placed under the custody of
the Manila Police District. He will be facing unjust vexation charges.
Meanwhile, six Caloocan policemen were charged for the assault and robbery of a
vendor, as shown by CCTV footage. The vendor was apparently on his way to buy
dinner for his children after receiving P14,000 cash aid from the government when
the police officers cornered and physically attacked him.

'CHR welcomes the Philippine National Police's (PNP) recent recommendations and
swift action in response to recent grave violations and misconduct committed by
several of its officers. The cases reported included the following: the molestation of a
male minor inside a police precinct; the harassment of a Grade 12 female student;
and the assault and robbery of a local vendor,' de Guia told the media Tuesday.

Philippine National Police's Internal Affairs Service (IAS) chief lawyer Alfegar
Triambulo said that they have recommended the suspects' dismissal from service.

'CHR strongly denounces the aforestated incidents. We cite Article 3, Section 5(b) of
Republic Act No. 7610, which provides that 'coercion or influence of any adult' on a
child to participate in lascivious conduct is deemed to be sexual abuse. We, likewise,
specify Section 56 and Section 57 of The Criminal Code: Section 56. Molestation.
Any person who shall commit an act that subjects or exposes another to unwanted
or improper sexual advances or activity shall be punished within level 2. If the victim
is a child, the penalty shall be within level 3 (i.e. up to 10 years of imprisonment).
Section 57. Physical assault. Any person who shall physically assault another
without inflicting any physical injuries shall be punished within level 1. If the assault
shall result in physical injury, the penalty shall depend on the extent of injury caused,'
de Guia said.

'CHR rejects the abuse of authority in any form, most particularly when it involves the
exploitation of the most vulnerable members of our society. The Commission will
also be conducting its independent investigations to achieve justice and redress for
the violations against the aggrieved citizens,' she added.

'We encourage the public to avail of the Commission's Human Rights E-Lawyering
Service for free, real-time legal advice and counseling,' she said.
 Economics Beat
Flores, Paneda, and Rago

ARTICLE LINK:
https://www.manilatimes.net/2022/06/29/news/national/economy-jobs-top-concerns-o
f-filipinos/1849101
DATE: June 29, 2022
AUTHOR: Kaithreen Cruz
PUBLiCUS report:
https://www.publicusasia.com/executive-summary-2022-pahayag-q2/

PROPOSED TECHNICAL REVISION:

Survey shows economy, jobs top concerns of Filipinos

Majority of Filipinos believe that the new Marcos administration should focus on
economy and employment, PUBLiCUS Asia survey found.

The survey, conducted from June 16 to June 22, 2022, identified Filipinos top
concerns as the economy at 73 percent, employment at 53 percent followed by
education at 32 percent.

Poverty, corruption, inflation, and agriculture also ‘notched selection shares on or

above 15 percent mark’ according to PUBLiCUS.

IN CHART: The most important issues that the next president should focus on.
The survey was conducted among 1500 registered Filipino voters randomly drawn
from a US-based panel marketplace, Purespectrum.

Meanwhile, the top concerns of households were not being able to afford basic
needs and difficulty in finding jobs at 59 and 46 percent, respectively.

Getting sick, not getting enough pay, losing a job, being a victim of crime, and not
being able to afford luxuries were also concerns raised in the household.

IN CHART: The biggest concerns of households heading into the third quarter.

Filipinos look forward to better economy

Results showed that 67 percent of Filipinos believe that the economy will improve in
the third quarter of 2022.

Optimism on economic prospects was relatively higher in Mindanao and Northern

and Central Luzon (NCL) at 77 and 71 percent, respectively.

While 16 percent said it would be worse.

The survey results had a +3 percent margin of error for the national percentages, +7
percent for NCR, and +6 percent for Northern and Central Luzon, South Luzon,
Visayas and Mindanao.
NOTES ON TECHNICALITY:

● There was too much data presented which made the article hard to digest and
understand.
○ The author could’ve presented the data with visual guidance, for
instance in the revised version, we have created a graph to make the
data and the article itself more understandable.

NOTES ON CONTEXT:

● The author lacks concrete context to deliver the myriad numbers/statistics.

The messy presentation (fault in technicality) made it worse for readers to
connect the dots or at least understand what it is about or how it’s about them.
○ HUMAN ELEMENT: Insert a quotable quote from an ordinary Filipino or
make another following article with a case study.
● The author tried to angle on the economy and employment aspects but failed
to elaborate nor highlight this as a “top concern” per se.
○ As per the revision, we added a subpart titled “Filipinos optimistic about
economy” to particularize how Filipinos feel about it.

NOTES ON ETHICS:

As per the Philippine Press Institute’s Journalist’s Code of Ethics, Kaithreen Cruz
didn’t violate any ethical conditions upon writing this article.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE:

Economy, jobs top concerns of Filipinos

A MAJORITY of Filipinos, at 73 percent, believe that the economy should be the top
priority for the incoming administration of President-elect Ferdinand "Bongbong"
Marcos Jr., the PUBLiCUS Pahayag Second Quarter survey showed.

This was followed by job generation at 53 percent and education at 32 percent.

As respondents were asked to rank their top three priority issues, the Philippine
economy was the top issue with 42 percent.

"Poverty, corruption, inflation and agriculture notched selection shares on or above

the 15 percent mark — but well below the 25 percent mark, keeping them in the
background," PUBLiCUS said in a statement.
Other concerns included agriculture, peace and order, Covid-19 vaccines,
environment, electricity, wages and illegal drugs.

Issues of terrorism, constitutional reform, tax reform, internet, water, international

relations with China, international relations with the United States and transportation
were in the lower priority, garnering only around 1 to 4 percent of respondents.

Moreover, the inability to afford basic needs emerged as the most popular micro or
household-level issue among respondents, at 59 percent.

Next were difficulty in finding employment (46 percent), getting sick with a disease
apart from Covid-19 (41 percent), not getting enough pay (41 percent), getting sick
with a Covid-19 variant (39 percent) and losing a job (37 percent).

Being a victim of a crime (25 percent) and the inability to afford luxuries (11 percent)
were also concerns raised in the household, but of lower priority.

The pollster noted that these issues can be viewed to be "consistent with the
distribution of macro-level concerns, more specifically, people are keenly concerned
with the economy — and how it relates to their livelihoods."

PUBLiCUS conducted the Pahayag Second Quarter Survey from June 16 to 22,
2022, among 1,500 registered Filipino voters randomly sampled by a US-based
panel marketplace, Purespectrum.

The results of the survey have a ±3 percent margin of error.

 Public Health Beat
Ma. Angelica Orteo

ARTICLE LINK:
https://www.manilatimes.net/2022/07/06/news/dengue-cases-rise-by-58/1849953/am
p
Author: Red Mendoza
Date: July 6, 2022

PROPOSED TECHNICAL REVISION

DOH: dengue cases in PH rise by 58%

The Department of Health (DOH) reported a 58 percent increase in dengue cases in

the country compared to last year, with Central Luzon, Central Visayas, and
Zamboanga Peninsula covering the highest cases.

From January 1 to June 18, 2022, about 51,622 cases of dengue were reported,
higher than the 32,610 reported during the same period last year.

Central Luzon had the highest number of dengue cases with 6,641, followed by
Central Visayas with 6,361 and Zamboanga Peninsula with 4,767 cases.

From May 8 to June 18, where 13,075 cases were reported, Central Luzon and
Central Visayas reported the highest number of cases with 1,825 and 1,570 cases
each, followed by the Cordillera Administrative Region (CAR) with 1,175 cases.

Figure 1. Dengue cases in the Philippines from 2021 to 2022 per DOH’s data

Regions with an increasing trend of dengue cases include the MIMAROPA (Mindoro
Occidental and Mindoro Oriental, Marinduque, Romblon and Palawan), Western
Visayas, Central Visayas, Zamboanga Peninsula, Davao, Bangsamoro Autonomous
Region in Muslim Mindanao and CAR.

Only Ilocos and Caraga had not exceeded their alert or epidemic threshold for
dengue cases during the past four weeks.

239 deaths from dengue across the country were reported, with a case fatality rate of
0.5 percent. The highest deaths were recorded in May 2022, with 62 fatalities.

Dr. Edsel Maurice Salvana, infectious diseases specialist from the University of the
Philippines, said most of the deaths that were reported resulted from repeat
infections that led to increased severity.

'We cannot predict deaths due to dengue, [but] we know that the peak of deaths
[was observed in those who were 10 years old] because that is where we see some
reinfection of dengue, which we know is more likely to bring severe disease,'
Salvana said in a briefing also on Tuesday.

DOH reminded the public to observe and practice the 4S strategies to combat
dengue — searching and destroying breeding places, securing self-protection
against mosquitoes, seeking early consultation, and supporting fogging and spraying
of hotspots.

NOTES ON TECHNICALITIES:

● The headline lacks information or certainty

● The lead of this article could have been improved to emphasize the whole
story more and to strengthen the base of the story.
● The article's length is good for a straight news story but some sentences need
to be modified.
● Infectious diseases specialist Dr. Edsel Maurice Salvana was quoted too
much in the article – another specialist should have been interviewed too to
gather more information and to prevent bias.
○ For example, the paragraph: “'Compared to last year, the kids are not
going out and therefore they are not exposed to dengue, now that
people go out and we forget to drain stagnant water areas and flower
vases, there is a possibility that dengue cases will rise,' he added.” –
The idea that going out and leaving stagnant water wasn’t articulated
which may confuse or hang the readers.
NOTES ON CONTEXT:

● The context was clear but the author has given unnecessary context.
● The whole context of the article could've been mentioned in the lead.
● Statistical data that were used in the article added factuality and certainty to
the report.
○ However, proper citation of the data was not practiced. – This may
confuse the audience as to whom the information came from since
DOH was mentioned in the lead and a non-DOH member/employee
was used as a resource.
● The author quoted Infectious diseases specialist Dr. Edsel Maurice Salvana
three times— some of the lines cited were not that relevant to the story.
● The author seems to assume that the audience are all familiar with Dengue.
Thus, to give more context about the disease, the author could have provided
brief information as to what and how Dengue spreads among us.

NOTES ON ETHICS:

Using the Philippine Press Institute’s Journalist’s Code of Ethics as the basis, no
ethical conditions were made in this article.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE:

Dengue cases rise by 58%

DENGUE cases in the country have increased by 58 percent as compared to last

year, the Department of Health said, with Central Luzon, Central Visayas, and
Zamboanga Peninsula reporting the most number of cases.

From January 1 to June 18 of this year, around 51,622 cases of dengue were
reported, a number higher than the 32,610 reported during the same period last year.

Central Luzon had the highest number of dengue cases with 6,641, followed by
Central Visayas with 6,361 and Zamboanga Peninsula with 4,767 cases.

From May 8 to June 18, where 13,075 cases were reported, Central Luzon and
Central Visayas reported the highest number of cases with 1,825 and 1,570 cases
each, followed by the Cordillera Administrative Region (CAR) with 1,175 cases.

Regions with an increasing trend of dengue cases include the Mimaropa (Mindoro
Occidental and Mindoro Oriental, Marinduque, Romblon and Palawan), Western
Visayas, Central Visayas, Zamboanga Peninsula, Davao, Bangsamoro Autonomous
Region in Muslim Mindanao and CAR.

Only Ilocos and Caraga had not exceeded their alert or epidemic threshold for
dengue cases during the past four weeks.

Across the country, there were 239 deaths from dengue, with a case fatality rate of
0.5 percent. The highest deaths were reported in May 2022, with 62 fatalities.

Infectious diseases specialist Dr. Edsel Maurice Salvana said most of the deaths that
were reported resulted from repeat infections that led to increased severity.

'We cannot predict deaths due to dengue, [but] we know that the peak of deaths
[was observed in those who were 10 years old] because that is where we see some
reinfection of dengue, which we know is more likely to bring severe disease,'
Salvana said in a briefing also on Tuesday.

He urged parents to monitor dengue-infected children and immediately seek hospital

treatment if it turns out for the worse.

Salvana said the increase in the number of dengue cases was caused by the
disease being hyper-endemic or one that is being experienced all year round.

'Compared to last year, the kids are not going out and therefore they are not exposed
to dengue, now that people go out and we forget to drain stagnant water areas and
flower vases, there is a possibility that dengue cases will rise,' he added.

The Health department reminded the public to observe and practice the so-called 4S
strategies to combat dengue — searching and destroying breeding places, securing
self-protection against mosquitoes, seeking early consultation, and supporting
fogging and spraying of hotspots.
 Entertainment Beat
Juan Carlos Sibucao

ARTICLE LINK:
https://www.manilatimes.net/2022/07/05/entertainment-lifestyle/show-times/does-jani
ne-have-an-issue-with-julie-anne/1849730
DATE: July 5, 2022
AUTHOR: Ronnie Carrasco III

PROPOSED TECHNICAL REVISION:

Is Janine not on good terms with Julie Anne?

After ending their 5-year-relationship, Janine Guttierez and Rayver Cruz have both
gone their separate ways but the actress might seem to have an issue with Kapuso
Star, Julie Anne San Jose, who is now being linked to the actor-dancer.

Intrigues arose as Janine reportedly unfollowed Julie Anne on social media negating
her statement that she has put everything behind her.

Janine's eventual network transfer last year certainly proved to be a sign of things to
come. What immediately followed was a falling out, which was to be expected.

Over at ABS-CBN, Janine has found a new scrèen partner in Paulo Avelino. The two
appear to have taken their working relationship to greater heights, yet there is no
confirmation if real-life romance has ensued.

On the other side of the coin, Rayer seems to have found the next girl he can
possibly woo as his off-cam closeness with “The Clash” co-host Julie Anne San Jose
is proven to be true.

Netizens also agree that the two look good together and if reports are accurate, they
are now an item,

If all is fair in love, as the song goes, why then are there reports that Janine
unfollowed Julie Anne on Instagram? Netizens speculated that it has something to
do with San Jose and Cruz’s closeness.

San Jose admitted she was also shocked but clarified that she doesn’t take it
personally as we all have our own reasons. She also added that she didn’t cross any
line or violated anyone.
“Wala naman po sa akin yun. Kasi, lahat naman ng tao ay may kanya-kanyang, like,
reasons. May kanya-kanya naman pong dahilan. But sa end ko naman po, sa sarili
ko, wala naman pong masamang tinapay sa kahit kanino”, said San Jose.

Meanwhile, on February 17, PEP reported that the two confirmed they are not in a
relationship despite the rumors.

NOTES ON TECHNICALITY:

● The initial article’s lead or beginning statement seems to be less relevant to

what the headline is trying to imply. The headline is asking for confirmation if
there is bad blood between Janine and Julie Anne following the former’s
break-up with Rayver Cruz while the lead’s context revolves around the fact of
who initiated to end of the relationship.
● The author could’ve put the details about Janine unfollowing Julie Anne on
social media in the earlier paragraphs and the context between the rumors
surrounding the singer and Rayver in the latter part.
● Statements of Pilita Corrales and Dianne Medina should be placed in the
latter part also as it is just a fragment of the story and not the most important
part.
● There were also some typographical errors by the author.
● The author also did his homework in adding more flavor to the story as he
also mentioned the current personal lives of Janine and Rayver after the
break-up.

NOTES ON CONTEXT:

● The angle of the story focused on the alleged animosity of actress Janine
Gutierrez towards singer Julie Anne San Jose following the circulating rumors
that the latter and Rayver Cruz, Janine’s ex-lover, are having a real-life
romantic relationship.
● This blew up after Janine unfollowed Julie Anne on social media making way
for the possibility that the actress might still be affected by the break-up or it
could be jealousy getting in the way.
● This alleged issue/ animosity is a form of entertainment for the readers,
especially since the parties involved are all prominent individuals/ celebrities.
● The author also did a good job in adding that the ex-lovers parted ways with
Janine transferring to ABS-CBN where she crosses paths with Paulo Avelino
and, on the other hand, Rayver, hosting with Julie Anne on GMA’s talent
show/ tv program entitled “The Clash”.
○ Is switching to a different network one of the factors that caused the
break-up?
 ○ Is Julie Anne the next girl that Rayver could possibly woo?
○ Is there something going on between Janine and Paulo?

NOTES ON ETHICS:

The author, Ronnie Carrasco III, violated the first mundane in the Philippine Press
Institute’s Journalist’s Code of Ethics as he did not manage to hear out the side of
Janine and Rayver first regarding the rumors before making those assumptions
based on mere reports/ speculations.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE:

Does Janine have an issue with Julie Anne?

DOES it really matter who broke up with whom?

This seems to be an inevitable question following the contradicting statements of

Pilita Corrales and Dianne Medina on the breakup of Janine Gutierrez and Rayver
Cruz.

Pilita's son Ramon Christopher is the father of Janine and who the latter fashionably
addresses as Mamita.

On the other hand, Dianne is the wife of Rodjun, Rayver's brother.

Quoting her granddaughter, Pilita revealed in a vlog interview that it was Rayver who
had called it quits. "Umatras" was the exact word that Pilita used.

As the story goes, Janine's revelation stunned Asia's Queen of Song, who had
approved of Rayver as her apo's boyfriend.

Immediately, Dianne came to her brother-in-law's defense, saying that as far as she
knows, Rayver is not the kind of boyfriend who'd initiate a breakup.

Earlier, Rayver had already clarified that there was no third party that ended his
relationship with Ja-nine.

In fact, Rayver had already been planning his and Janine's future, such as building
their dream house as though he was so sure they'd end up as husband and wife.

Netizens insist that Dianne didn't exactly like Janine as her future "bilas," and that
she was merely dip-ping her finger into the breakup issue.

Between Pilita and Dianne, netizens maintain that it's the former who has the
authority—and the credibility — to say anything.
After all, Pilita is more related to Janine by blood than Dianne is to Rayver.

Most importantly, Pilita's vlog interview was based on what her granddaughter had
told her in confi-dence, while Dianne's take was on general terms.

Janine's eventual network transfer last year certainly proved to be a sign of things to
come. What im-mediately followed was a falling out, which was to be expected.

Over at ABS-CBN, Janine has found a new scrèen partner in Paulo Avelino. The two
appear to have taken their working relationship to greater heights, yet there is no
confirmation if real-life romance has ensued.

Meanwhile, it's no reason for Rayver to accept his fate as it supposedly is. With Julie
Anne San Jose as co-host in GMA's "The Clash," Rayver has found himself the next
girl he can possibly woo. To be fair, the two look good together.

And if reports are accurate, Rayver and Julie Ann are now an item.

In what seems like a neck-and-neck competition of sorts, it's a tie!

If all is fair in love, as the song goes, why then are there reports that Janine
unfollowed Julie Anne on social media? Was it because Rayver ended up with her?
Could it be taken to mean that Janine is jeal-ous of Julie Anne?

But if her attention is now focused on Paulo, then whoever is Rayver's girlfriend
shouldn't bother Ja-nine at all. If so, this negates Janine's statement that she has put
everything behind her.

Perhaps, compared to her situation now, Janine sees a better future for Rayver and
Julie Anne, whose extra closeness is not co-terminus with their hosting stint.

The Clash's last season ended in December last year, yet the two seem even closer
now.

In contrast, just as we are, Janine isn't sure whether she and Paulo will maintain the
same degree of closeness after their projects.

Will they still bask in the feeling of paradise exactly like their hush-hush Palawan
getaway?
 Malacañang Beat
Adrian Pulgo

ARTICLE LINK:
https://www.manilatimes.net/2022/07/03/business/sunday-business-it/marcos-vetoes
-bulacan-airport-ecozone-bill/1849554
DATE: July 2, 2022
AUTHOR: Catherine S. Valente

PROPOSED TECHNICAL REVISION:

Marcos vetoes Bulacan Airport Economic Zone bill

July 2, 2022

Citing “substantial fiscal risks,” President Ferdinand “Bongbong” Marcos Jr. vetoed
the bill creating Bulacan Airport City Special Economic Zone and Freeport, a project
of San Miguel Corporation (SMC).

"At the foreground, fiscal prudence must be exercised particularly at times when
resources are scarce and needs are abundant,” Marcos said in his veto message on
Friday, July 1, in relation to his disapproval of House Bill No. 7575 or the Bulacan
Airport City Special Economic Zone and Freeport Act.

“I cannot support the bill considering the provisions that pose fiscal risks to the
country and its infringement on or conflict with other agencies’ mandates and
authorities," Marcos added.

He said that the proposed law was in contrast to the government's objective of
developing a tax system with low rates and a broad tax base, as it "will significantly
narrow our tax base with its mandated incentives applicable to registered
enterprises."

The President cited the Republic Act No. 11534, or the Corporate Recovery and Tax
Incentives for Enterprises (CREATE) Act, which already grants tax incentives to
eligible enterprises outside economic zones.

In accordance with Republic Act No. 7916 or the Special Economic Zone Act of
1995, businesses within established special economic zones are granted fiscal
incentives such as exemption from local and national taxes.

Marcos further explained that HB 7575 “lacks coherence with existing laws, rules,
and regulations,” and noted that the bill has no provisions for an audit by the
Commission on Audit, procedures for expropriation of lands awarded to agrarian
reform beneficiaries, and a master plan setting the boundaries of the economic zone.
He noted a measure in the bill that grants the proposed economic zone authority
"rule-making powers relative to environmental protection that is not found in the
charter of other economic zones," as well as "blanket powers to handle technical
airport operations in contravention of existing aeronautical laws."

The proposed economic zone is located near the Clark Special Economic Zone in
Pampanga, which is "against the government's policy on creating special economic
zones in strategic locations," Marcos added.

Marcos said that the National Economic and Development Authority and the
Regional Development Council 3 "assert the need to thoroughly study and assess
the costs to ensure that the establishment of the economic zone would be beneficial
to the whole country."

Aerotropolis: local and environmental controversy

House Bill 7575 proposes the establishment of the Bulacan Airport City Special
Economic Zone and Freeport Authority also dubbed the Aerotropolis, which shall
manage and operate the Bulacan Ecozone.

The proposed law will cover the area of the proposed New Manila Airport, the Airport
City to be developed beside the airport, as well as lands adjacent to the Airport City.

The establishment of the special economic zone is seen to create jobs and support
the Philippine economic recovery, however, locals, advocates, and non-government
organizations express dissent on SMC’s Aerotropolis project as it displaced locals.

In an in-depth article by Pinoy Weekly published in October 2020, the majority of the
estimated 700 families of fisherfolk residing in Taliptip, Bulacan left the area to give
way in the construction of New Manila Airport.

As of December 2020, 364 families have received cash assistance and housing from
SMC.

Environmental group Advocates of Science and Technology for the People (AGHAM)
welcomed the President’s decision to veto the proposed law of creating a special
ecozone in Bulacan, however, the group urges Marcos to “stop the construction of
Bulacan Aerotropolis,” saying it “destroyed mangroves and displaced fishing
communities in Bulacan”.

In January 2021, SMC secured a 50-year franchise to build, operate, and maintain
the 2,500-hectare international airport in Bulacan.
NOTES ON TECHNICALITY:

● The comma (,) on the initial article’s headline would confuse readers that the
veto would also affect the construction of the New Manila Airport.
● The article needs minimal editing, rewriting, and reorganization of paragraphs
to make it more coherent.
○ There are cases of unnecessary use of adjectives
○ There is also a case of redundancy of a term
○ There is a case of tense inconsistency
○ Rewrote a quoted paragraph to better suit the story flow
○ Some paragraphs that should be in the earlier paragraphs are found in
the lower parts of the article;
○ The writer did a good job on her citation of legislatures as it followed
the proper format
○ On another note, the writer misquoted a law

NOTES ON CONTEXT:

● The author established a framing/angling of the story focused on Marcos'

decision as the President to veto the said bill; which is the ideal angle. This
includes Marcos’ statement on the matter, as well as his reasons behind the
decision.
○ This angling of the story creates a perfect situation where readers can
see where Marcos stands on issues that involve large companies.
○ Through his reasons behind the veto decision, readers can see how
knowledgeable Marcos is on the said matter
■ It is worth noting that Marcos’ reasoning was more on
macroeconomics and not necessarily on families residing in the
areas affected
● “What is an ecozone?” Was my initial reaction upon reading the story,
however, its significance was not made clear in the article, I believe that it is a
context that would be useful for readers that have limited knowledge on the
matter
○ From this other questions would arise, “What would the veto mean for
SMC?”, and “What would it be for me?”
○ Given that it was an article released on the same day the decision was
made public, it is only considerable that a statement from its authors
and proponents is yet to be expected.
● Not all proponents of the said bill were given exposure, an example would be
the fisherfolk residing in the area covered by the construction;
○ Where are these residents now?
○ “Did they receive compensation from SMC? If so, how many
beneficiaries have received them?”
 ● Prior dissent and opposition of the said bill were also not given exposure
○ Who opposes the bill; what are their reasons, and is it valid?

NOTES ON ETHICS:

As per the Philippine Press Institute’s Journalist’s Code of Ethics, Catherine Valente
didn’t violate any ethical conditions upon writing this article.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE:

Marcos vetoes Bulacan airport, ecozone bill

CITING "substantial fiscal risks," President Ferdinand "Bongbong" Marcos Jr. vetoed
a proposed bill to build the Bulacan Airport City, a project of San Miguel Corp.
(SMC), as a special economic zone and freeport, a Palace official confirmed on
Saturday.

"We confirm that the president signed the veto of HB 7575 entitled, 'An Act
Establishing the Bulacan Airport City Special Economic Zone and Freeport, Province
of Bulacan and Appropriating Funds Therefor,'" Press Secretary Rose Beatrix
Cruz-Angeles said in a statement.

In his letter addressed to the Senate President and members of the upper chamber
dated July 1, 2022, Marcos said he was "constrained to veto" the bill because of its
provisions that "pose substantial fiscal risks to the country" and its "infringement on
or conflict with other agencies' mandates and authorities."

"At the foreground, fiscal prudence must be exercised particularly at times when
resources are scarce and needs are abundant. "While this administration recognizes
the objective of the proposed measure to accelerate economic growth in its locality, I
cannot support the bill," Marcos said.

Marcos also explained that the enrolled bill "lacks coherence with existing laws,
rules, and regulations," noting that it has no provisions for an audit by the
Commission on Audit, procedures for expropriation of lands awarded to agrarian
reform beneficiaries, and a master plan for the specific boundaries of the economic
zone.

He said that the proposed measure grants the proposed economic zone authority
"rule-making powers relative to environmental protection that is not found in the
charter of other economic zones," as well as "blanket powers to handle technical
airport operations in contravention of existing aeronautical laws."
The proposed economic zone is located "in close proximity" to the Clark Special
Economic Zone, which is "against the government's policy on creating special
economic zones in strategic locations," he added.

The President also said that he decided to veto HB 7575 because it would be an
additional burden to the taxpayers.

He said that the proposed law was in contrast to the government's objective of
developing a tax system with low rates and a broad tax base, as it "will significantly
narrow our tax base with its mandated incentives applicable to registered
enterprises."

"As the system would be rendered incapable of generating a yield sufficient to

sustain the country's social and economic infrastructure, the government would be
forced to seek new sources of revenue through additional taxes or borrowings in the
future. In the end, it is the taxpayers who will ultimately bear the brunt of the burden,"
he said.

Marcos said that the National Economic and Development Authority and the
Regional Development Council 3 "assert the need to thoroughly study and assess
the costs to ensure that the establishment of the economic zone would be beneficial
to the whole country."

He also emphasized that Republic Act 11534, or the "Corporate Income Tax and
Incentive System," "already allows eligible enterprises to apply for and avail of tax
incentives outside economic zones by providing a favorable incentive package
without the need for creating new special economic zones."

The proposed measure covers the domestic and international airport, the airport city
to be developed adjacent to the massive gateway, as well as lands adjacent to the
airport city.

The establishment of the special economic zone is seen to create jobs and support
the Philippine economic recovery as such areas attract foreign investments.

Under the bill, a Bulacan Ecozone authority with a corporate life of 50 years should
also be created to manage the ecozone. It will be operated as a separate customs
territory to ensure the free flow of goods and capital.

The Bulacan air hub, designed to accommodate up to 100 million flyers annually, is
being eyed to decongest the country's main gateway Ninoy Aquino International
Airport.

In January 2021, SMC secured a 50-year franchise to build, operate and maintain
the 2,500-hectare international airport in Bulacan.
 Environment Beat
Pulgo, Orteo, Sibucao

ARTICLE LINK:
https://www.manilatimes.net/2022/06/24/news/national/climate-change-the-real-threa
t-for-ph/1848440
DATE: June 24, 2022
AUTHOR: Kristina Maralit

PROPOSED TECHNICAL REVISION:

Climate change ‘real threat’ for PH — incoming security adviser

CLIMATE change, not the territorial dispute with China or the Russia-Ukraine
conflict, is the real threat to the country's security, incoming National Security Adviser
(NSA) Clarita Carlos said on Thursday.

She said environmental concerns create a chain reaction affecting food, human, and
national security whereas developing countries like the Philippines suffer the brunt
effects of global warming.

The incoming security adviser also noted ‘so-called powerhouse nations’ reversion to
using sources of energy that are harmful to the environment, despite their vow to cut
carbon emissions by 2030.

"India is going back to coal, some countries are going back to using fossil fuel. That
is the reality on the ground," Carlos said in a roundtable discussion with the
Philippine Council for Foreign Relations (PCFR) in Pasig.

"The promises of de-carbonization by 2030, 2050, they are by the wayside in the
meanwhile because human survival is at the highest premium," she added.

Carlos highlighted the urgency of recalibrating policies on environmental protection.

She cited the lack of enforcement as the main problem despite having ‘one of the
best environmental laws in the world.

‘Broad strokes’ of general security strategy

A week before her start in office, Carlos presented the ‘broad strokes’ of a general
security strategy that she will propose to President-elect Ferdinand ‘Bongbong’
Marcos Jr.
According to Carlos, the incoming Marcos administration can consider giving tax
breaks to buyers of electric vehicles to entice motorists to switch from fossil fuels
whose prices have been skyrocketing.

Carlos also called for the use of solar energy as an option and to take advantage of
the country’s tropical climate.

She then proposed the establishment of solar farms in military camps to reduce their
dependence on power from grids that are disrupted during typhoons or earthquakes.
The Philippines has been strongly urging developed nations to ramp up their
assistance to developing countries that continue to grapple with climate change.

Several weeks ago, President Rodrigo Duterte called on wealthier nations to be held
accountable for failing to reduce their carbon emissions.

Marcos, meanwhile, has been invited to attend the 2022 United Nations Climate
Change Conference, or COP27, to be held in Egypt in November.

NOTES ON TECHNICALITY:
● The headline was a ‘remark’ of the subject; attribute the subject’s name
● capitalization of title and position
○ ‘national security adviser’ to National Security Adviser
● ‘The 76-year-old’ context was unnecessary and irrelevant
● Used a breaker to better organize themes in the article: Carlos’ strategy on
energy crisis
● Lacks quotables from the subject
○ ‘Carlos said’, should only be applied to direct quotations (?)
○ Quotations would give substance to Carlos’ remarks
● The article needs minimal editing

NOTES ON CONTEXT:

● Unnecessary information, sentences, and phrases were stated in the article. –

Could have been omitted to be more precise.
● The context of the report was not properly outlined. The delivery of
information was a bit disorganized which may bombard and confuse the
readers. — Could have been broken into subtopics.
● The author focused on the narratives of the incoming national security adviser
(NSA) Clarita Carlos as seen in the first 6 paragraphs of the article – lacking
cross-references or another POV which would be beneficial in the article as it
tackles a huge social issue.
 ● The last two paragraphs were out of context or not well presented in the body
of the article, in which the transition may be a bit off, especially in the last
paragraph.
○ “Several weeks ago, President Rodrigo Duterte called on wealthier
nations to be held accountable for failing to reduce their carbon
emissions.
Marcos, meanwhile, has been invited to attend the 2022 United
Nations Climate Change Conference, or COP27, to be held at the
Egyptian resort city of Sharm el-Sheikh in November.”
● The author provided hyperlinks that would redirect the readers into more
in-depth stories.

NOTES ON ETHICS:

As far as ethical concerns, Kristina Maralit has managed to abide by the Philippine
Press Institute’s Journalist’s Code of Ethics in writing the article titled “Climate
change the 'real threat' for PH”.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE:

Climate change the 'real threat' for PH

CLIMATE change, not the territorial dispute with China or the Russia-Ukraine
conflict, is the real threat to the country's security, incoming national security adviser
(NSA) Clarita Carlos said on Thursday.

Carlos said environmental concerns create a chain reaction affecting food, human
and national security, especially among developing countries like the Philippines
which bear the brunt of the effects of global warming.

The 76-year-old Carlos said the so-called powerhouse nations' vow to cut carbon
emissions by 2030 will remain a promise since many of them have gone back to
using sources of energy that are harmful to the environment.

"India is going back to coal, some countries are going back to using fossil fuel. That
is the reality on the ground," Carlos said in a roundtable discussion with the
Philippine Council for Foreign Relations (PCFR) in Pasig City.

"The promises of de-carbonization by 2030, 2050, they are by the wayside in the
meanwhile because human survival is at the highest premium," she added.

Carlos said the government must start recalibrating policies on environmental

protection.
The Philippines, she noted, has one of the best environmental laws in the world. The
problem is that they are not being fully enforced.
The Marcos administration, she said, can consider giving tax breaks to buyers of
electric vehicles to entice more motorists to switch from fossil fuels whose prices
have been skyrocketing.

Further pushing the use of solar energy is another solution, taking advantage of the
Philippines being a tropical country, especially amid disasters and calamities, Carlos
said.

One proposal is to establish solar farms in military camps to reduce their

dependence on power from grids that are disrupted during typhoons or earthquakes.

All these make up the "broad strokes" of a general security strategy Carlos said she
will present to President-elect Ferdinand "Bongbong" Marcos Jr.

"I will have the President design the national strategy. I can present to him a draft, in
broad strokes," she added.

The Philippines has been strongly urging developed nations to ramp up their
assistance to developing countries that continue to grapple with climate change.

Several weeks ago, President Rodrigo Duterte called on wealthier nations to be held
accountable for failing to reduce their carbon emissions.

Marcos, meanwhile, has been invited to attend the 2022 United Nations Climate
Change Conference, or COP27, to be held at the Egyptian resort city of Sharm
el-Sheikh in November.