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Instructor’s Manual to Accompany
BUSINESS COMMUNICATION
Developing Leaders for a Networked World (3e)
By Peter W. Cardon
Chapter 6:
Improving Readability with Style and Design
IM 6-1
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manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
Teaching Note
This is one of my favorite chapters to teach, largely because students can make such dramatic
improvements in their writing by following several basic principles.
I generally find that students respond quite well to this chapter when it is framed as making it easy for
others to get your message. In particular, I think most business students respond well to the logic of
making it easy for others to work with you or making it easy for others to comply with your requests.
Please contact me anytime—to share your experiences, your ideas, or your requests.
Best of wishes,
Email: petercardon@gmail.com
Twitter: @petercardon
Pinterest: pinterest.com/cardonbcom
IM 6-2
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manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
Learning Objectives
Learning Objective: 06-01 Describe and apply the following principles of writing style that improve ease
of reading: completeness, conciseness, and natural processing.
Learning Objective: 06-02 Explain and use navigational design to improve ease of reading.
Learning Objective: 06-03 Describe and apply the components of the reviewing stage, including a FAIR
test, proofreading, and feedback.
IM 6-3
© 2016 by McGraw-Hill Education. This is proprietary material solely for authorized instructor use. Not authorized for sale or distribution in any
manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
Chapter 6 Summary and PowerPoint Notes
SLIDE 6-1
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SLIDE 6-3
IM 6-4
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manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
SLIDE 6-4
SLIDE 6-5
IM 6-5
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manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
SLIDE 6-6
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IM 6-6
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manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
SLIDE 6-9
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IM 6-7
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manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
SLIDE 6-12
IM 6-8
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manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
SLIDE 6-13
SLIDE 6-14
IM 6-9
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manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
SLIDE 6-15
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IM 6-10
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manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
SLIDE 6-18
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IM 6-11
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manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
SLIDE 6-21
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IM 6-12
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manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
SLIDE 6-24
SLIDE 6-25
IM 6-13
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manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
SLIDE 6-26
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IM 6-14
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manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
SLIDE 6-28
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IM 6-15
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SLIDE 6-31
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IM 6-16
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SLIDE 6-34
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IM 6-17
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manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
SLIDE 6-37
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IM 6-18
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manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
SLIDE 6-40
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IM 6-19
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manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
SLIDE 6-43
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IM 6-20
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manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
SLIDE 6-46
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IM 6-21
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manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
SLIDE 6-49
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IM 6-22
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Suggested Approaches and Solutions to Discussion Exercises
In these suggested approaches and solutions, you’ll find key points to look for in students’ responses.
A. Writing completely provides all necessary information to readers to meet the purpose of the
communication. Students should be rewarded for elaborating about what constitutes
completeness (all relevant information, accuracy, specificity) and providing examples.
B. Writing concisely provides the entire message in less space, which makes it easier for
readers to process the information. Students should be rewarded for explaining various
ways of accomplishing this, such as controlling paragraph length, using short sentences,
avoiding redundancy, avoiding empty phrases, and avoiding wordy prepositional phrases.
C. Writing naturally involves writing in a way that people think and talk. This allows them to
process the information more effectively and efficiently. Students should be rewarded for
various approaches to natural writing style, including using action verbs, using active voice,
using short and familiar words and phrases, using parallel language, avoiding buzzwords and
figures of speech, and avoiding it is and there are statements.
D. Simple document design helps readers find information quickly. With well-stated and well-
placed headings, lists, or highlighting, it also frames the messages and leaves lasting
impressions.
E. Responses will vary significantly. Students should be rewarded for well-thought-out
responses. Generally, they should state that completeness and conciseness to some degree
compete with one another.
A. Scott states that writing is critical to getting hired and performing well on the job. Students
should be rewarded for any of the following examples: an employee writing a costly typo, an
employee writing too casually, and writing cover letters and résumés.
B. Scott says that business writing is typically formal. He cites a case of an employee asking
after a customer’s health as an example of writing that is too casual. Students should be
rewarded for extrapolating general and helpful guidelines from these statements.
C. He mentions that accuracy is of utmost importance. Minor mistakes can have major
implications. He specifically mentions that the addition or subtraction of a zero in a
monetary figure can drastically alter the meaning.
IM 6-23
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manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
D. He explains that workplace writing is focused more on maintaining business relationships,
building and maintaining morale, retaining clients, and making sure you build the reputation
of your organization.
E. Responses will vary widely. Reward students for carefully prepared statements.
In these suggested approaches and solutions, you’ll find key points to look for in students’ responses.
Responses will vary widely. Students should be rewarded for careful revisions. Consider using this as a
group activity in or out of class.
Students should be rewarded for their careful self-evaluation and goal-oriented approach to this
exercise.
In these suggested approaches and solutions, you’ll find key points to look for in students’ responses.
Responses for Exercises 6.5 through 6.16 will vary. Encourage students to make reasonable
embellishments. Reward students for careful and complete revisions. Some suggested solutions are
found below.
A. Have you thought about joining a student club to help you get a job in supply chain
management? If so, please join us on January 29 for an orientation to our club.
B. The orientation session is located in room 309 in the business building on January 29 at 6:30
p.m. Please come hungry—we’ll have free pizza and drinks.
C. The orientation meeting provides information about club activities, speakers, scholarship
options, and other opportunities to build your professional expertise and networks.
D. We typically hold monthly meetings at the Marriott next to the business school.
A. The purpose of the SCMC is to give members career opportunities and help them
understand current issues and trends in global supply chain management.
B. The SCMC provides training in global supply chain and operations management.
C. Supply chain management is critical to the success of nearly all businesses.
A. Each semester, the SCMC organizes facility tours, discussion panels, faculty interactions, and
résumé workshops to give members real-world understanding and experiences.
B. The SCMC Placement Coordinator searches for available jobs and places them on the club
website.
C. The events are extremely popular, with over 80 percent attendance on average.
A. You can place SCMC and SCOM major activities on your résumé.
B. You can network with SCMC alumni, which allows you to network with current supply chain
managers.
IM 6-25
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manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
A. We regularly schedule plant tours and speeches by supply-chain professionals.
B. Accomplished industry professionals deliver many speeches to the club.
6.13 Use Short and Familiar Words and Phrases (LO 6.1)
A. SCOM skills and competencies are valuable to many professionals, including accountants,
financial analysts, marketing managers, human resource managers, and IT managers.
B. In the software group, you can learn statistical software, such as POM for Windows, Excel
Solver, ProcessModel, and SPSS, and mapping software, such as MapPoint.
A. By participating in SCMC and gaining a membership in ISM, you’ll have many certification
opportunities readily available.
B. The club gives you many opportunities and resources to succeed in this field.
C. SCMC has received many generous donations to support qualifying SCMC students with
scholarships.
A. You can learn specialized skills by joining special-interest groups within the club.
B. One special-interest group provides training for various software tools for global supply
chain management.
Responses will vary. Reward students for compelling, creative, and accurate solutions.
6.18 Revising the Supply Chain Management Club Flier (LO 6.1, LO 6.2)
Responses will vary. Reward students for compelling, creative, and accurate solutions.
6.19 Converting the Sunrise Brochure into a Frequently Asked Questions Document (LO 6.1, LO 6.2)
IM 6-26
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manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
Responses will vary. Reward students for compelling, creative, and accurate solutions.
Responses will vary. Reward students for compelling, creative, and accurate solutions.
6.21 Rewriting a Message for Readability and Effectiveness (LO 6.1, LO 6.2, LO 6.3)
Responses will vary. Reward students for compelling, creative, and accurate solutions.
IM 6-27
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manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
Use the table above to proofread and correct items in 6.22 and to revise sentences in 6.23 to make
them more specific.
IM 6-28
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6.22 Being Accurate (LO 6.1)
A. Please address correspondence to the following address: General Mills, PO Box 1493,
Minneapolis, MN.
B. The annual salary for General Mills’ CEO is lower than that of Kellogg Company’s CEO by
approximately $400 thousand.
C. With between 30 and 44 percent of their net sales to Wal-Mart, Kellogg Company and
General Mills are extremely dependent on a single retailer.
D. General Mills has six children’s cereals with NPI rankings at 40 or below, whereas Kellogg’s
has just three.
E. General Mills spends approximately 6.1 percent of its total revenues on advertising,
whereas Kellogg Company spends roughly 8.8 percent of its total revenues on advertising.
F. General Mills sells the least nutritious children’s cereal: Reese’s Puffs.
G. Since only about one in three boxes of cereal is sold without deals of some kind, cereal
producers must constantly market new and exciting discounts and coupons.
H. General Mills reached $1.5 billion in yogurt sales last year.
I. One of the worst cases of negative publicity for General Mills resulted from ammonia leaks
at some its manufacturing facilities.
J. The United States cereal market accounts for approximately 31.4 percent of the world
market.
A. General Mills is responsible for the top five cereals marketed to children through television.
B. Gross profit margins in the breakfast cereal industry are quite high, averaging 40 to 45
percent.
C. Kellogg Company and General Mills have each experienced negative media attention
recently. Kellogg Company was forced to issue product recalls due to salmonella
contamination, and General Mills dealt with leaks at one of its manufacturing facilities.
D. General Mills is more dependent on the North American market, where it receives 81.6
percent of its revenues, than Kellogg Company, which receives 67.7 percent of its revenues
from this market.
E. While General Mills and Kellogg Company have similar product mixes, they each market
several products not offered by the other. For example, General Mills markets a variety of
yogurt brands, and Kellogg Company markets a greater variety of cereal bars.
F. Kellogg Company and General Mills are the top two cereal makers, collectively accounting
for approximately 65 percent of the cereal industry.
G. Kellogg Company and General Mills have each introduced new flavors for their products in
recent years. Kellogg has introduced new Special K flavors such as cinnamon pecan, fruit and
nut clusters, and blueberry. General Mills has introduced Chocolate Cheerios.
IM 6-29
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manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
H. General Mills offers six cereals considered non-nutritious (NPI rating under 40): Reese’s
Puffs, Golden Grahams, Lucky Charms, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Trix, and Count Chocula.
I. Kellogg’s cereals include three children’s cereals with NPI scores at 40 or below: Corn Pops
(35.8), Froot Loops (38.0), and Apple Jack’s (40.0).
A. General Mills dominates the American yogurt industry with $1.5 billion in sales. It sells
yogurts under a variety of brands, including Yoplait, Trix, Yoplait Kids, Go-GURT, Fiber One,
Whips!, and YoPlus.
B. Kellogg Company and General Mills routinely develop and market new products. Kellogg
Company has recently introduced new products such as Special K crackers, fruit crisps, and
chocolate pretzel bars. General Mills has recently added new products such as Chocolate
Cheerios, Yoplait Delights yogurt parfaits, Wanchai Ferry frozen foods, and Betty Crocker
gluten-free dessert mixes.
C. The total cereal market in the United States is $9 billion, accounting for 31.4 percent of the
worldwide market. The United States share of the worldwide market is decreasing because
of market growth in Brazil, Russia, India, and China.
A. Discount coupons for select Kellogg’s cereals contain rebates of between 10 and 20 percent.
B. Kellogg Company needs to view crisis communications for the salmonella outbreak as
necessary.
C. Please make reservations for the bloggers conference hosted at General Mills to see how
you can connect and cooperate with other corporate bloggers.
A. General Mills is among the worst offenders of marketing less healthy cereals to children.
B. Kellogg’s children’s cereals are superior to General Mills in terms of nutritional value.
C. Parents are usually unaware of how unhealthy most children’s cereals are.
A. To improve nutritional values for cereals, I think we should focus on reducing sugar content
and increasing fiber content.
B. Companies in the food industry rely heavily on Wal-Mart for sales. This provides the
advantages of higher revenues and better name recognition. The disadvantages, however,
include lower sales margins and reduced customer perceptions of quality.
IM 6-30
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manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
C. Due to recent product recalls, Kellogg Company can’t promote a reputation for food safety.
A. Kellogg Company is developing and marketing new products to rebrand itself as a company
focused on healthy food.
B. General Mills can leverage its strong yogurt brands to gain higher visibility for healthy foods.
C. The CEO of Kellogg will announce a new corporate strategy, explain how the company will
reach its goals, and present the current financial situation.
A. Because media outlets widely publicized the NPI rankings, many cereal executives worry
that consumers will move away from some of their most popular cereals.
B. Kellogg introduced the new Special K flavors—cinnamon pecan, fruit and nut clusters, and
blueberry—last year, and Kellogg reports that they have been a huge success.
C. Industry insiders discussed market strategies to promote healthier cereals.
D. We lost millions of dollars in revenues due to inaction in confronting the potential
salmonella contamination.
E. By quickly releasing crisis communications, General Mills avoided significant negative press
about the ammonia leaks.
6.30 Use Short and Familiar Words and Phrases (LO 6.1)
A. General Mills has stopped most complaints by consumers about its high-sugar children’s
cereals by reducing sugar content by 8 percent on average.
B. The major cereal brands for the top two cereal-makers, Kellogg Company and General Mills,
are Special K and Cheerios, respectively.
C. Cereal-makers could increase brand loyalty by developing multi-purchase points programs.
A. Kellogg Company and General Mills produce ready-to-eat cereals and sell cereal bars.
B. At the bloggers conference hosted by General Mills, the sessions will include the following:
(a) how to build and reach a business audience; (b) how to use tags; and (c) how to partner
with companies.
C. Special K leads all other Kellogg’s cereals in total sales and reaches sales targets consistently.
D. Wanchai Ferry frozen foods are named after the famous tourist spot in Hong Kong, which is
known for exciting events, boisterous crowds, and an exotic atmosphere.
IM 6-31
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manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
E. Make sure to sign up for RSS feeds from the General Mills Investor Relations page to receive
stock price updates and to gain the latest company news.
A. Kellogg’s and General Mills will develop partnerships with international cereal makers to
gain additional market share in the BRIC countries.
B. General Mills’ latest strategy is high risk–high return.
C. Please come to our next meeting with creative ideas.
A. I believe that since General Mills has reduced sugar content in its children’s cereals, fewer
children will face obesity.
B. Several new product lines from Kellogg Company show that it is still capable of innovation
and creativity.
C. Kellogg Company must tell the public about the risk of salmonella contamination in some of
its products and offer full rebates for products with peanuts as ingredients.
Responses will vary. Reward students for compelling, creative, and accurate solutions.
Responses will vary. Reward students for compelling, creative, and accurate solutions.
6.36 Review the dashes and hyphens rules in Appendix A. Then, rewrite each sentence to add dashes
and hyphens where needed.
IM 6-32
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manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
G. Her long-time philosophy has been to break even on new initiatives. (H1)
H. Let’s take an easy-does-it approach to implementing these changes. (H1)
I. Her calm and collected temperament helps her in high-pressure situations. (H1)
J. I would definitely describe her as solutions-oriented. (H2).
IM 6-33
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manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
Connect Application Exercise Support
Activity Summary: This activity teaches students how and when to use both the active voice and the
passive voice in business writing. It explains that the active voice is generally the most effective mode, as
it is easier to process, makes the doer of the action clear, and emphasizes the business orientation of
action, but that the passive voice can be useful to avoid sounding bossy or placing blame. In the
exercise, students click and drag sentences on to a table to indicate which voice each sentence uses and
whether or not that voice is used effectively. (Note: A keyboard accessible version of this activity is also
available.)
Learning Objectives:
Learning Objective: 06-01 Describe and apply the following principles of writing style that improve ease
of reading: completeness, conciseness, and natural processing.
Blooms: Evaluate
AACSB: Communication
Follow-Up Activity: Instructors could call on students to revise ineffective sentences so that they convey
the same information but in an effective manner.
Activity Summary: This activity reminds students what parallel language is and why it is important. They
are then asked to evaluate a series of sentences and to indicate which use parallel language and which
do not by clicking and dragging each sentence to the correct column. (Note: A keyboard accessible
version of this activity is also available.)
Learning Objectives:
Learning Objective: 06-01 Describe and apply the following principles of writing style that improve ease
of reading: completeness, conciseness, and natural processing.
Blooms: Evaluate
IM 6-34
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manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
AACSB: Communication
Follow-Up Activity: Instructors could ask for students to explain what about the not-parallel sentences is
problematic and how they could be revised to use parallel language.
Activity Summary: This activity begins by describing seven key elements of business writing style: using
active voice, being specific, avoiding redundancy, using action verbs when possible, using short and
familiar words, using parallel language, and avoiding buzz words and figures of speech. Students are
then asked to evaluate a series of sentences, determine which style guideline each sentence violates,
and click and drag it to the correct box. (Note: A keyboard accessible version of this activity is also
available.)
Learning Objectives:
Learning Objective: 06-01 Describe and apply the following principles of writing style that improve ease
of reading: completeness, conciseness, and natural processing.
Blooms: Evaluate
AACSB: Communication
Follow-Up Activity: Instructors could ask for volunteers to revise the sentences so they follow all of the
key style guidelines.
Activity Summary: In this activity, students are reminded of the grammatical patterns found in active
voice sentences and passive voice sentences. The benefits of the active voice in business writing are also
explained. In the exercise, students indicate which voice is used in a series of sentences by clicking and
dragging each sentence onto the correct column. (Note: A keyboard accessible version of this activity is
also available.)
Learning Objectives:
Learning Objective: 06-01 Describe and apply the following principles of writing style that improve ease
of reading: completeness, conciseness, and natural processing.
AACSB: Communication
Follow-Up Activity: Instructors could ask for volunteers to revise the active voice sentences so they are
in the passive voice, and vice versa.
Activity Summary: This activity begins by describing seven key elements of business writing style: using
active voice, being specific, avoiding redundancy, using action verbs when possible, using short and
familiar words, using parallel language, and avoiding buzz words and figures of speech. In the exercise,
students read a sample business email and then answer multiple choice questions about style problems
found within the email.
Learning Objectives:
Learning Objective: 06-01 Describe and apply the following principles of writing style that improve ease
of reading: completeness, conciseness, and natural processing.
Blooms: Analyze
AACSB: Communication
Follow-Up Activity: Students could be tasked with rewriting the email to eliminate its style problems.
Instructors should caution students that the revised email must still convey the same information
overall.
Activity Summary: Students are reminded of the importance of writing with completeness in this
activity. Completeness can be achieved by ensuring that a message provides all relevant information, is
accurate, and is specific. In the exercise, students click and drag incomplete sentences to the columns
that identify them as being either inaccurate or not specific. (Note: A keyboard accessible version of this
activity is also available.)
Learning Objectives:
IM 6-36
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manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
Learning Objective: 06-01 Describe and apply the following principles of writing style that improve ease
of reading: completeness, conciseness, and natural processing.
Blooms: Understand
AACSB: Communication
Follow-Up Activity: Instructors could ask for volunteers to revise the sentences so that they are
complete.
Activity Summary: Students are reminded of the importance of writing concisely in this activity.
Strategies for writing concisely include controlling paragraph length, using shorter sentences, avoiding
redundancy, avoiding empty phrases, and avoiding wordy prepositional phrases. In the exercise,
students click and drag statements that are not concise to the columns that identify them as suffering
from either redundancy or empty phrases. (Note: A keyboard accessible version of this activity is also
available.)
Learning Objectives:
Learning Objective: 06-01 Describe and apply the following principles of writing style that improve ease
of reading: completeness, conciseness, and natural processing.
Blooms: Understand
AACSB: Communication
Follow-Up Activity: Instructors could ask for volunteers to revise the sentences so that they are
complete.
IM 6-37
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LXIV
LA FOI
A Go... en été.
Hervé, qui priait d’un si grand cœur, n’entendait pas la lettre de ses
prières: en elles, il se jetait tout entier, comme un naufragé se lance dans la
mer, en vue du rivage. A l’aide de ces mots étranges et obscurs, que l’amour
balbutie et ne se lasse point de répéter, il faisait le don sans conditions de
soi-même: il se livrait. Il suppliait. Et, nulle oraison ne pouvait avoir plus de
portée qu’une telle prière. Il parlait à la Vierge plus qu’au Sauveur; et, à
toute occasion, il se vouait aux Saints et aux Saintes. Mais La Vierge, les
Saints et les Bienheureux, tout n’était pour lui que messagers divins; et,
enfin, il voyait tout en Dieu.
Il aimait toutes les bêtes; et avait grand pitié de toutes, contre la coutume
des paysans. Il avait nourri un vieux cheval de son père, bien longtemps
après qu’il fût devenu impropre à tout service; et c’était un dicton dans la
paroisse, de demander aux paresseux «s’ils se prenaient pour le cheval au
bon Hervé». Il ne vivait presque que de galettes au blé noir, et de bouillie
d’avoine; il mangeait la viande à contre-cœur, et on en faisait faussement
honneur à sa piété: ses amis le sachant, on ne lui offrait pas du lard
nouveau, ni du porc tué à l’occasion des fêtes. Il buvait largement; et
parfois il était un peu ivre: il n’en paraissait pas honteux, et ne jurait point
de ne jamais retomber dans cet opprobre. Parfois, dans son travail, sous les
arbres, il écoutait les piverts et les coucous; il s’oubliait à contempler les
hêtres; il regardait le ciel entre les mains épineuses des houx: et, plein
d’amour, il s’affligeait de ne pouvoir parler aux houx, au ciel, aux coucous
ni aux hêtres. Il imitait, pourtant, jusqu’à tromper les passants, le langage
divers des bêtes, de celles qui glapissent comme celles qui modulent en
gazouillant. Pendant bien des mois, il avait eu pour hôte familier un corbeau
doctoral et sagace, qui sut bientôt, hochant la tête, répondre en breton.—
Mais surtout, il connaissait à merveille les créatures du matin, les alouettes
quand elles rient, et les oiseaux qui s’éveillent. Tout vivait à ses yeux; et
toute vie étant de Dieu, tout était Dieu. Comme à sainte Anne et à saint
Hervé, ses patrons, il croyait aux âmes des morts, aux esprits qui errent
tourmentés, aux revenants et aux fées: les korrigans courent sur la lande, et
les lutins se cachent dans les fontaines; gare à qui jure, ou qui défie
imprudemment!... Tout est vivant: qui fait pousser l’herbe? C’est Celui qui
fait croître l’homme. Tout parle, et toute parole est divine. Aussi, «l’espoir
et le pardon sont proclamés partout...» et les spectres même n’ont rien de
redoutable: les pauvres démons n’auraient pas dû désespérer de la
miséricorde céleste; s’ils avaient bien cherché la paix, ils l’auraient
obtenue...
Il eût adoré le soleil, la lune et les étoiles, s’il n’eût pas été contre l’usage
de leur offrir un culte; mais, dans son cœur, vivait l’adoration que ses lèvres
avaient désappris de nommer. Il avait beaucoup souffert, et beaucoup
pleuré; il ne riait guère; mais il n’était pas triste: sa certitude était sans
bornes. Il ne connaissait rien que par elle. Il croyait pour autant qu’il savait.
Il ne doutait pas plus qu’il dût vivre, qu’il ne doutait s’il vivait. Il avait pour
lui-même l’évidence que le grain qui germe a pour l’épi...
Il savait... il savait... il n’eût pas su dire quoi: sinon qu’une espérance
infinie vivait en lui, égale à son amour pour toutes choses, et au mystère
également infini où elle les prolongeait.
LA LANDE D’OR
En Clohars. Novembre.
La lande est toute d’or, trempée d’humide argent. L’air gris brille,—telle,
entre deux feuilles de saule, la toile d’araignée après la pluie. Dans le vallon
roux, tous les ajoncs sont fleuris; sur le tapis sombre de la lande, les fleurs
d’or posées une à une comme des clous brillants font penser à la prairie
profonde de la nuit, quand elle est fleurie d’étoiles.
Scintille-t-elle, la fleur d’ajonc?—Ou bien luit-elle sourdement, comme
une promesse de bonheur au fond de la pensée?—Son or est chaud, mais
voilé; c’est un métal très pur, dont les feux percent l’enveloppe, mais qui
n’a pas dépouillé toute la gangue.
La paupière du ciel est violette comme celle des morts. L’humidité
d’argent tremble à l’horizon des bois, en voile de dentelles. Au bord d’un
raidillon rocheux, les frênes, dont le tronc fendu laisse voir une fibre si
belle, sont baignés de la dernière pluie. Dans le lointain, les grands
châtaigniers sont assemblés en dômes, coupoles d’une basilique d’Orient.
Au plus loin, le manoir, et les fermes vêtues de chaumes; tout est gris et
d’argent sur la hauteur; tout est roux et d’or dans la lande. Et là-haut, les
maisons, à demi perdues sous de fins nuages, ont l’air reculé, mystérieux,
d’une cité en ruines.
Un pont de bois semble posé, entre deux piliers noirs de buissons, sur
une arche brumeuse. Les bruyères rousses, desséchées, sont roides, comme
faites d’un métal ciselé, et moins rouillé que d’une lumière éteinte. Au pied
des hêtres jaunis, les feuilles jaunes aux teintes maladives. L’odeur de la
feuille morte et la senteur noire de l’humus montent de la terre. Un reste de
prairie lève humblement un regard mouillé, où passe la pâleur souffrante
d’une colchique...
Les haies, en étages sur le fossé, et plus larges au sommet qu’à la base,
recèlent un noir trésor de sommeil: leur cercle sombre fait à la lande une
ceinture de mélancolie. Mais, trempée d’argent, la lande en fleurs est une
mosaïque d’or...
LXVI
LES FILLETTES
A Ker-Joz, en Ben.
Sautant par-dessus la haie, elles arrivent cinq, six, sept petites filles,
courant sur le chemin. Et la plus petite, qui tient un poupon entre ses bras,
s’impatiente d’être la dernière, et finit par pleurer de voir détaler les autres.
On ne sait trop quel âge elles ont: elles sont toutes vêtues de noir, et portent
toutes la même coiffe. Elles sont pieds nus, et trottent maladroitement,
cherchant à éviter les ronces et les pierres. Les unes près des autres, et leurs
cottes mal faites gonflées par le vent, elles semblent une bande d’oiseaux
noirs à tête blanche. La plus petite rejoint enfin les aînées sur la lande: au
soleil, contre le mur éclatant de blancheur, elle dépose le poupon coiffé du
béguin rouge; et, si contente d’être délivrée, qu’elle fait trois pirouettes sur
elle-même, en tirant la langue. Elle a encore les larmes aux yeux. Les
autres, à cette vue, se mettent à rire de cette voix si claire, qui, ce matin,
parmi les ajoncs, sous le ciel bleu, sonne de verre, comme l’alouette qui
grisolle. Ce n’est pas un éclat de rire, mais une longue fusée, franche, naïve.
Puis, tandis que le poupon cuit à terre, crie et pleure de toutes ses forces, les
mains tendues comme des moignons,—les petites, étant convenues de jouer,
courent et sautent d’un bout à l’autre de la lande, et se bourrent à grands
coups de poing, tout en courant.
Une heure après, voici venir de la mer cinq, six, sept petites filles; toutes
en blanc, un grand chapeau de paille fleuri de bluets sur les cheveux
pendants, une ceinture de soie à la taille, les jambes et les pieds nus. Elles
tiennent à la main des haveneaux et des tridents. Toutes, du même côté, ont
le même panier en forme de boîte, passé à l’épaule en bandoulière du même
cuir jaune. Deux institutrices les escortent, rouges, grasses, bien nourries et
court vêtues: elles ont aussi les pieds nus, et, dans une main, le filet au bout
d’une longue perche,—mais la Morning-Post dans l’autre.
Ces petites bourgeoises ont accompli, ce matin, le rite des crevettes: car
tout est rite dans leur vie. Elles s’avancent bavardes et plus bruyantes qu’un
nombre trois fois plus grand de petites Bretonnes. Comme elles sentent
Paris, la ville, et le droit absolu du plus fort, qui est le plus riche...
Obscurément, les petites Bretonnes le sentent aussi. A la vue de la
compagnie armée pour le rite des crevettes, les fillettes aux pieds sales
s’alignent sur la lande, et contemplent de loin les fillettes aux pieds propres;
elles regardent, la bouche ouverte et les yeux ronds. Les autres passent,
dédaigneuses et se montrent du doigt les petites Bretonnes. Et celles-ci,
comme ayant peur, ou éperdues, ou confuses, prennent une course
désespérée; elles détalent, sans rien dire, la plus grande emportant cette fois
le poupon assis contre le mur, qu’elle ramasse au vol comme un paquet.
LXVII
FEUILLES MORTES
Heures d’octobre, en Kerne...
Matin.
La campagne sent doucement la mort. Mais la terre est divine: elle est, et
ne sait pas. Sa magnifique ignorance a le calme des pôles, et l’immuable
certitude. Son odeur d’octobre est celle de la bonne fin, du terme nécessaire
et pacifique, de la mort bénie,—la mort qui est sûre de la résurrection pour
le troisième jour.
Attentives et engourdies, les perdrix se chauffent au soleil. Les
pauvrettes, à l’abri, immobiles, les ailes serrées en pointe, semblent de
petits tas de cendres sur la brande. Puis, elles s’éveillent, et défilent en
piétant.
La fougère est trempée par la rosée de l’aube. Un froid duvet de brume
flotte sur la haie. On entend des herbes sèches qui criquent. Et voici la
petite laitière qui cueille une branche de houx, et la trempe dans son pot au
lait, où flottent encore les bulles d’écume du flot neigeux qui vient d’être
trait.
—Crépuscule.
Les haies semblent fuir à reculons, et les ajoncs rentrer sous terre.
Comme les saules se courbent!... Les arbres font oraison.
La prairie regarde de côté, tristement, comme un étang. On ne distingue
plus la veine claire, qui fend le cœur oblong du trèfle. J’ai laissé l’heure
s’écouler. L’illusion du bonheur n’est pas rare, là où est la beauté, dans le
silence des champs, loin de la ville. J’ai cherché le trèfle à quatre feuilles, et
vingt fois, ici, je le trouvai; mais le soir va venir et je ne l’ai pas cueilli.
ARCADES AMBO
En août, à Pont Aven.
LES PHARES
A Benodet, le 17 septembre, et bien d’autres fois.
C’est une lueur liquide, qui coule de haut, telle du sang. Je reviens,
chaque soir, de la grève; et, chaque fois, laissant le phare derrière moi, je
tourne la tête pour revoir la lanterne et son œil brûlant, au coude du sentier.
Chaque fois, elle me surprend par son air tragique, et cet étrange regard
qu’on croirait vivant.
A mesure que l’été s’éloigne, l’ombre nocturne se fait dense. Sur les
chaudes journées, la nuit vient dans un manteau de crêpe et de vapeur déjà
lourdes. Ce soir, la nuit est épaisse comme un goudron de houille; et ses
chaudes profondeurs, grasses et opaques, sont de velours noir. Que la lueur
du phare est émouvante dans l’ombre compacte et le silence taciturne: c’est
un cœur saignant qui palpite sur des étoffes ténébreuses.
Le phare brille, étoile aux yeux du marin: il fait sa route sur elle; celle-là,
du moins, n’est pas inaccessible. Le phare est une pensée de la terre, qui
vient au devant de l’homme, errant sur le désert de l’Océan. C’est un foyer
qui veille, quand tout est éteint. Et l’amant n’a pas vu, avec plus de
bonheur, s’allumer pour lui une lampe dans la chambre de sa maîtresse, que
ne fait le marin, lorsqu’au travers de la nuit pesante, après un long voyage,
il découvre la lueur lointaine, et, lui donnant un nom, qu’il compte les
heures et les minutes, une à une, jusqu’au moment béni d’atterrir.
Je suis dans le monde comme un marin dans la nuit brumeuse. Sans
cesse, je m’absente et j’erre infiniment loin. Puis, je sors du rêve et de
l’ennui, du voyage aux Iles d’Or, et de la furieuse tempête, me guidant aussi
sur les froides étoiles, confidentes glacées de l’orgueil et de la solitude.
C’est pourquoi je rentre, dans cette vie peuplée d’ombres, à la manière du
navigateur qui a fait le tour du monde; et, chaque soir, j’aime la lueur des
phares, où je crois voir brûler aussi pour moi l’ardeur sanglante de la
tendresse humaine...
A minuit, le bon gardien sautera de son lit et viendra s’assurer si ses
lampes marchent. Et, à trois heures du matin, il fera sa dernière ronde. Dès
le coucher du soleil, et jusqu’à l’aube, les gardiens de phare mènent à terre
la vie du matelot à bord. Nulle part, on ne trouve de meilleurs hommes;
presque tous sont d’anciens marins; ils sont simples, dévoués et forts; ils
savent le danger d’une négligence; de braves gens qui ne rêvent point, et
que leurs lampes n’induisent point à la tentation de songer.
Un d’eux, comme je lui demandais s’il ne croyait point que le feu rouge
de la lanterne fût du sang, et jaillît de la poitrine d’un prince supplicié,—me
répondit gravement:
—La flamme tremble? C’est que le pétrole n’est pas bon. Je m’en suis
plaint.
Il rentra dormir chez lui. Je demeurai. Et j’allai sur la dune, où les feux
des îles répondent à ceux de la côte. Dans la nuit noire, sur un rythme que
mesurait la respiration lente de la mer, c’étaient, rouges ou blancs, des
regards douloureux et fixes, et d’étranges clins d’yeux...
LXX
Il fait une chaleur ardente, mais une chaleur ailée, comme la clarté du
jour. Tout est blond sous le ciel. Le long de la route, les arbres immobiles
semblent porter un feuillage de métal sur un écran d’argent qui scintille. A
l’ombre étroite d’une porte basse, qu’on ne doit jamais ouvrir et dont les
toiles d’araignée coupent les angles d’un crêpe gris, une vieille mendiante
est accroupie, toute vêtue de noir, en coiffe noire, n’ayant de blanc qu’un
rond de linge sur l’œil, comme une taie, dans sa face large, ridée et rouge de
chaleur: elle pose un débris de nourriture sur ses genoux, et mange
goulûment, la jupe noire tendue sur ses jambes écartées. Un vieux chien
jaune à ses pieds suit du regard chaque morceau qu’elle porte à sa bouche,
et happe les miettes au vol: elles n’ont pas le temps de tomber à terre... Un
pêcheur, souple dans son vêtement de toile, un panier sous le bras, plein de
rougets et de grondins, poissons d’émail rose, marche rapidement sur la
plante de ses pieds nus, les orteils relevés: il tourne, en sifflant, sa tête
maigre et brune, au large nez d’où sort une touffe de poils gris, en mèche de
fouet. Et vers lui arrivent, grommelant la prière, la fille aux joues rouges et
l’homme aux vastes épaules, qui quêtent pour la Mort.
LXXI
FIDÈLE
Ker-Joz... en Benodet.
Fidèle est une chienne de deux ans, qui n’a pas sa pareille.
Bâtarde de caniche et de griffon, Fidèle est pourtant belle à sa manière;
pour sa taille moyenne, elle a une très grosse tête, ronde, ébouriffée, et les
yeux bleuâtres sous de gros sourcils roux; les dents merveilleuses sont du
lait qui brille.
Fidèle est une chienne en goémon: c’est la couleur de son pelage bouclé,
frisé, touffu et fauve. Elle a le bout des pattes blanc; les mèches de soie
blanche ne sont pas rares au milieu de ses boucles. Elle a une longue
langue, mince, recourbée en forme de flamme rose, que la salive argente.
Elle ressemble à une petite lionne, aux lions héraldiques de la plus ancienne
époque, quand ils hésitaient entre la femelle, le mouton et l’ours. Au soleil,
assise sur un rocher, tirant la langue, Fidèle est un lion d’or, armé d’argent,
lampassé de gueules.
Elle est bretonne, capricieuse, honnête, sauvage, pleine de dignité
rustique, et peu s’en faut, dans son amour de la mer, qu’elle ne soit matelot.
Elle passe sa vie à courir de la lande à la grève, et des rochers sur le sable.
Quand ses maîtres poussent le canot ou mettent à la voile, si elle
n’embarque pas avec eux, elle les supplie de ne pas la laisser à terre; elle
leur dit, deux ou trois fois: «Et moi?» d’un aboi doux et sourd, la gueule
presque fermée. Elle ne hurle pas, quand elle est en peine ou en colère: elle
est trop fière pour se plaindre; elle ne voudrait pas gémir à la façon des
chiens domestiques. Non; mais elle se rappelle formellement à l’esprit de
ceux qui lui manquent: «Et moi?» fait-elle donc. Elle voit le bateau qui
s’éloigne déjà de quelques brasses... Elle est là, le corps penché sur la rive
en pente, les pattes de devant collées à une roche que le flot couvre et
découvre en murmurant, les griffes trempées dans l’eau. Elle regarde, avec
une attention que rien ne saurait détourner, l’homme à la barre... Elle espère
encore: c’est un ami; s’il fait un geste de son côté, s’il la nomme, aussitôt sa
queue, relevée en cerceau, rigide jusque-là, se détend et bat l’air de deux ou
trois coups rapides. Mais le bateau fait du chemin; la distance s’accroît:
Fidèle réfléchit. Elle sait qu’on ne l’appellera plus; elle prévoit qu’on la
chassera peut-être: n’importe! elle veut aller en mer; il n’est pas possible
qu’on la laisse seule à terre et qu’on la prive de cette promenade. Elle prend
son parti. Elle mesure l’intervalle; elle saute sur une pierre vêtue de
varechs, à fleur d’eau; et, ramassant ses reins cambrés, elle s’élance; elle
plonge d’un bond sûr et souple... Elle reparaît au delà des roches, la tête sur
le flot, la gueule bien serrée, les oreilles basses pendant à demi dans la mer.
Elle nage en battant la vague, et l’on voit ses pattes brunes qui s’agitent en
cadence, dans l’eau verte. Elle se hâte de toutes ses forces, pleine d’une
grâce rapide. Enfin, elle touche à l’arrière du canot; c’est le moment de la
plus dure épreuve: si on ne la saisit pas par le cou, si le maître ne lui prête
pas la main, c’est qu’on ne veut décidément pas d’elle. Et, le plus souvent,
l’aventure tourne encore plus mal pour son brave cœur: on la menace de la
canne, ou de l’aviron. Elle ne veut pas y croire, et cherche un point d’appui
sur la quille; chassée de nouveau, il lui faut admettre que c’en est fait:
aujourd’hui, elle n’ira pas à l’Ile. Elle vire de bord; et rebrousse chemin. Au
retour, la pauvre Fidèle nage plus lentement; elle ne suit plus la ligne droite;
de temps en temps, un secret espoir se ranimant en elle, Fidèle tourne la
tête: ne lui fait-on pas signe?... Non, on ne la rappelle pas; et déjà le canot
est très loin... Voici la grève: elle sort de l’eau, humiliée et piteuse. Tout en
se secouant, elle regarde encore la mer; elle prend de longs souffles d’air, la
gueule largement ouverte; et elle éternue fortement, chassant l’eau salée par
les naseaux. Le poil frisé, les oreilles, la queue, toute la fourrure lui colle au
corps, dégouttant d’eau. Ses pattes mouillées se chaussent de sable jaune;
elle joue lentement de la langue dans sa bouche fermée, pour retrouver de la
salive; et, fâchée sans doute, mais soumise à la cruelle volonté des
puissants, elle reprend, sans se presser, par le ravin à pic, le chemin de la
maison.
Le temps vint qu’elle fut pleine: elle ne l’avait encore jamais été. Elle se
fit très grosse ou plutôt épaisse; elle perdit de ses formes longues, taillées
pour la course; ses flancs élargis s’abaissèrent; la courbe creuse de son
ventre s’effaça sous le poids de la portée; et ses longs poils touchaient le
sol, comme les franges d’une besace en forme de cylindre. Fidèle, pesante,
parut surprise du fardeau qu’elle soulevait à chacun de ses bonds; mais elle
n’en bondissait pas moins, toujours prompte à sauter sur les rocs, par-dessus