ABSTRACT

The compelling short story of a young girl who fails at

love.

Wild fire

CRAVE YOU
By a sad poet
I push a stray strand of hair behind my ear as nibble on my lower lip. Casper Seth.

Dark curls that pool over turquoise colored eyes, a nose two times smaller than my huge one, the way
he’s always quiet, always thinking…just…being.

Way more than those pizza hut boys ever do. All they do is make inappropriate jokes, say stupid stuff
and cheat on you faster than an online scammer or a lottery ticket salesman.

“Hey, Sal,” my current boyfriend, or as my friends say, “boyfriend of the month,” Alex, wraps a thick arm
around my waist. “What’s up with you eyeing that nerd?” he tilts chin towards Casper.

I sigh and glance down at his muscled arm wrapped around my midsection. Oof. At the sound of Alex’s
voice, Casper looks up and his eyes lock on to mine. Hopefulness grips my heart; and then, a split second
later, it disappears. Casper looks away faster than I was able to comprehend the moment.

“Like, seriously, who invited him?” Alex juts his thumb and the other guys in the room murmur and nod
in agreement.

Leo, Alex’s best friend, is throwing this party. Just a regular party he has on Saturdays. And usually he
only invites popular kids. And I’m not picking on Casper, it’s just…I find it surprising. Not that I’m
complaining.

“Alex,” I mumble, “leave him alone.” I try to restrain myself, but I allow my eyes to trail up to his face; he
is gorgeous. I can’t hide my feelings about that, even if I try. Blond curls, blue eyes, tan skin, six foot one,
captain of the baseball team and football player. Alexandra Guthrie. Every guy wants to be him and
every girl wants to be with him. But I’m the one dating him.

Which means I get to be idolized or envied by every girl (sometimes both). All my best friends are crazy
about us; they know how lucky I am to be with Trevor. They insist how lucky he is to be with me.

They always tell me how pretty I am. They say my long wavy black hair appears to be made from
gossamer, my dark onyx eyes are intoxicating, and my olive skin mixes it all together for an ethereal sort
of beauty.

Tonight I’m wearing a sleeveless, knee-length dress; ivory top, midnight-black skirt. The neckline wraps
around my neck, which my friend Jasmine insisted is “totally hot.”

The only hot I’m feeling is from this stuffy room. And okay, fine, Alex looks really, really, really hot- I
mean nice- in dark jeans, a white T-shirt, and a leather jacket.

“C’mon, Sal. You don’t actually feel bad for that dork, right? He hugs even me closer to him.

I squeeze my eyes shut. “Alex, I don’t- whatever. Just leave him alone. That’s all I’m saying. I’m sure we
have better things to than bother him.” I distract him by giving him a coy look.

His brows rise and he smirks. “Got it.”

Yep, easiest way to distract Alex is with some kisses.

He’s about to lead me from the room when Leo walks over, his gray eyes stern and angry. “Epic fail,
right?” he says under his breath, nodding his shoulder to where Casper stands. “My mom was like, ‘Oh,
my cousin Becca is out on a rut. Her kids need some friends!” he mimics an obnoxious, nasally voice.
“Then I said to Holly, ‘Babe, good thing we do not invite those chumps to the party, right?’ And she was
like, ‘Oh, we totally should!’ and I was like ‘Scuse me?’

He huffs and shakes his head. “She literally told my mom about the party and she literally made me call
up Casper and invite him. I could hear him about to say no but he suddenly stopped himself. I could hear
Becca whispering in the background. So his mom made him go and my mom made me invite them.” Leo
says the last part loud enough for Casper to hear. For the whole universe actually. “I dumped Holly’s
sorry butt.”

I cringe and Alex furrows his brows. “Great story time, man, but I’m trying to get some alone time with
my girl.”

Leo sighs. “Yeah, whatever,” he arches a brow and walks away, tossing a dirty look to Casper.

Alex pulls me quickly from Leo’s family room. I take one last look over my shoulder and see Casper still
slumped in the armchair, his gaze on his shoes. I hold my breath, praying for just one look into his eyes.
But he never looks up. He never stares like the other boys do.

I see two girls walk over to him right as we exit the room. Who are they?

Alex leads me up a small flight of stairs that lead to another family room and the kitchen. He stops in the
family room.

He slides his fingers slowly against my jawline, gazing intently into my eyes. My breath hitches in my
throat.

He loosens his other fingers and drags just his index finger back again. He moves his other hand into my
hair. He cocks his head and moves in, his lips latching against mine.

Kissing Alex? Yeah, it kills me. Yeah, it sucks all the oxygen from my throat. And yeah, it sends butterflies
and fuzzies swirling through my body.

But at the same time all I can think of is Casper’s lips. His thin, but full pale lips; the middle of his top lip
that curves downwards in a perfect cupids bow.

I pull away from Alex and rest my head on his chest. He moves his hands up and down my back, rubbing
it soothingly. “Parties suck. We should just ditch it and kiss ‘till your curfew, what do ya say, Sally?

But then I won’t be able to see Casper.

The thought pops into my head against my will. I could slam my head against the wall. Casper doesn’t
care about me! I have Alex! He’d never go for a girl like me!

He’s too good for me.

My face sinks and I fall into Alex more.

He chuckles deeply. “You’re sleepy, aren’t you? Why don’t we go back to my place and snuggle? I’ll still
get you home before your curfew I swear.”
I doubted that, but at least he tried. He’d probably be late by an hour. And then my parents would just
chuckle and shrug it off. I wish they’d get mad at Alex. Make me break up with him since I’m too weak to
try. It’s too easy.

I’m not in love with him. I’m in love with Casper. But I can’t break up with Alex. Look, I know that sounds
stupid but I just can’t. All being single would do is remind of how badly Casper has me tied up over him.
The nights I spend lying in bed, agonizing over how he’ll never notice me, how I’ll never be more than
the rich, flirty girl that lives 26 Southbrook Way; you know, that house on the rich street in the rich
development with all the Mansions.

My parents would probably never let me be with Casper anyways. I can picture it now-

“That boy that lives in the slum-district?! The one with gangs and break-ins?! No daughter of ours is
allowed to be with someone like that!”

Casper remains always an elusive dream. A kite flying, being tossed and torn away in the wind. You raise
your hand as high, as hard as you can.

But to no avail. You never even came close.

………

As we leave, all these Pizza-Hut boys pour out from nowhere, begging for my phone number, to see me
again, to go out on even just one date with them.

Alex glowers at them all, his scary-possessiveness coming out like it always does in these situations. And
then I wrestle with myself in this stupid way; it’s crazy how he acts, but half of me loves it. The stupid,
weak half that can’t tell Alex or her parents the truth.

Her parents the 24/7 ER doctors that are barely in the house.

“Back off, touch her and I’ll kill you jerks,” he practically growls at them and yanks me behind.

I throw one desperate glance at Casper, but I can’t see him anywhere. We’re almost at the door, he
might be in the downstairs family room, in a place I can’t see from here. Or he could be in a different
room. Or he may have left hours ago.

Gosh, I hate what he does to me.

On Monday, at school, Casper is in the same class with me. Biology. He sits two tables in front of me. I
can see the back of his coal-black curls, back of his green button-up with the sleeves he has rolled up to
his elbows.

Jasmine Lawrence sits right next to me, drumming her pink acrylics while the teacher begins the lesson.

“This is so boring, Sal,” she whispers, tossing a lock of her ivory curls behind her back.
“It’ll be over soon,” I touch her elbow but really I just want her to be quiet so I can watch Casper.

Jasmine slumps, her chin in her palm. “It always feels like forever. I think Mr. Chester wants us to stay in
here forever.” I place my palms on my desk and strain ever so slightly to get a better look of Casper. She
sighs, still in her own world of diamonds and Gucci bags. “It’s just, do we really have to go to this stupid
school? I mean, in ten years we’ll still be made of money and can make someone do everything for us
and- she suddenly cuts herself off and I feel relief. I wasn’t quite paying attention to Jasmine, but now
that she stopped it feels as if someone slapped an annoying fly. That is, until she says, “Who are you
staring at?” in a really, really loud voice. I don’t mean loud, but I mean loud. Loud enough for a
classroom of sixteen students.

Everyone turns to me, including Casper who I was just staring at. His eyes lock into mine for a split
second. I see stubborn hatred flare in them and just like that, his gaze is on the floor instead.

My cheeks heat up. “I-I…,”

“Ms. Hughes, I’d much appreciate it if you could remain focused on me please,” Mr. Chester sighs
sternly.

I clench up and glance at my desk. “Yes sir.”

“Girl thinks just because her dad owns a zillion hotels it means she can act like a bubblehead in class,”
someone in front of me sneers. I raise my face and see it is a girl sitting next to Casper. My dad doesn’t
own hotels. He actually worked for his money. But what does it matter, really?

“What do you mean, she is a bubblehead,” a girl behind the desk beside them snickers. The first girl
joins in. Casper doesn’t; does that mean he doesn’t think I’m a bubblehead/ maybe he just wants me to
think he doesn’t want anything to do with me.

“Shut up, losers, her dad makes more than your daddies’ paycheck combined! Jasmine wrinkles her
nose. The girls and even Casper chuckle for some strange reason.

“All of you, stop this behavior! Mr. Chester booms, cutting off their laughter. I shrunk back in my seat
and Jasmine stares back as if a deer had just appeared in her headlights. Some of the kids laugh at her.
“Anymore taunts and you can all go to the principal’s office!”

From then on I remain glued to Mr. Chester’s every word. I really do try to do well in class. I’m not trying
to be a bubblehead.

As I’m scribbling notes that will be on the next test, soft words float towards me. I whip my head up but
catch myself, darting my eyes to Mr. Chester, his brows are raised as he points to the whiteboard in
classic teacher mode. I let out a sigh of relief just barely.

I bite my lip and glance at the source of the words; Casper is turned, speaking gently yet seriously to the
girl next to him. I can’t catch anything he is saying. Is that his girlfriend?

A knife, envious and scorching hot, digs deeply yet silently into my heart. Despair rises above all of it,
threatening to drown me.

I need to have Casper, I just have to have him.

During lunch, Alex keeps his giant, toned arm wrapped tight around me, continuously planting kisses all
over me.

I just let him do it, too depressed to even be bothered by it.

“Um…are you going to let her eat?” my best friend, Olivia Heartlock raises a brow, flipping a strand of
curly blonde hair over her shoulder. “Seriously, even I don’t let Parker kiss me that much!” she makes a
face and sticks her tongue out.

“You don’t let me do what that much?” Parker appears behind her and sits next to her, placing his tray
on the table. His magazine-worthy floppy blond hair shifts as he wraps an arm around Olivia. I can feel
all the envious stares from the other girls. He gives her a giant kiss on her neck.

“Parker! She giggles and playfully pushes him away. I fight the urged to roll my eyes.

“I’ll be right back,” I announce, and try standing up but Alex’s arm stays wrapped around me tightly. I
turn to him with brows raised. “Um, Alex? Please?

He frowns. “Where are you going?”

“To…um…find…Tiffany.”

“She’s right over there,” Alex points his finger across the room, where Tiffany sits at the table with her
football-star boyfriend and the other guys on the football team.

“Right,”’ I swallow, my throat dry. “Uh…,”

He squeezes me so tight I feel like I might pop. “Sal, what’s wrong?”

“Uh…,” I notice Olivia and Peter staring at me worriedly, a bit bemused. I clench my face and grab my
stomach. “It’s just…I don’t feel very good.”

“Ew,” Olivier crinkles her nose. “Don’t puke on my Gucci bag.” She tugs the brown-handled tan-ish bag
closer.

Parker laughs but Alex glares at them. He turns to me with concern and squeezes my hand. “I’ll go with
you.”

No. it must show on my face because he says, “I don’t care if you barf on me, really.”

Alex’s kind smile is making my stomach knot up, and it didn’t even hurt to begin with. “Okay,” I squeak
out. He wraps his arm over my shoulders and helps me stand up. We walk to the girls’ bathroom, Alex
showing no embarrassment whatsoever. No one is inside thankfully. I position myself by the trash can
that stands behind the door.

I close my eyes and sigh deeply; Alex should mistake it as feeling sick.

All I wanted to do was escape for a minute to see…

I know it’s stupid. I don’t know who hates me more; me, or him. Maybe… if somehow we just started
talking…and he saw…I’m not…

Who am I kidding? I am just a shallow selfish rich girl. Alex is right. I am disgusted by myself.
I take a shaky breath and almost fall backwards if it weren’t for Alex’s huge chest catching me, placing
his hand gingerly on my belly. “Hey…do you need to see the nurse or something?”

I shake my head vehemently. “No, really. I-I’m fine. I just…need to sit down.”

He tentatively holds my arm and wraps it around his back so I have something to lean on. He hold me
firmly yet softly. It’s moments like these that make me wonder if Alex’s really as bad as I thought.

We walk out of the girls’ bathroom, the overhead lights making my head spin.

“Are-are you okay?” a voice says.

I open my eyes and see Casper of all people. Standing in the hallway next to the girl behind him in
Biology. She has the same ebony curls and blue-green eyes, the same button nose and cream colored
cheeks.

Alex is the one who asked me, I’m almost certain. I’ve barely heard him talk, but I think it is highly
unlikely this girl has a deep boy-voice.

The girl’s face is tight in contempt, Casper appears dubious, cautious yet caring.

“She’s fine,” Alex’s eyes bulge. Here comes his raging jealous side.

I can’t believe Casper wants to know if I’m alright.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I manage to say. “Just a bit of an upset stomach.” I smile weakly at him.

He smiles for a nanosecond before his eyes are skeptical again, and dart away. The girl is still staring at
us with disdain. She clutches Casper’s hand tightly and drags him into the cafeteria ahead of us.

“Nice people,” Alex says, chuckling coldly.

“Alex, it’s fine. Come on,” I say and pull him behind me. I spot Casper and the girl sitting at the Loser
Spot, what everyone calls it. The table right next to the trash can, where you have a ninety percent
chance of getting whacked with half eaten food.

My insides shrivel for them, but Alex begins to walk me back to our table.

“Okay?” Olivia’s forehead wrinkles.

“Yeah,” I mumble.

“SO, I heard Casper was at the party ‘cause Leo’s mom is Casper’s mom’s cousin.” Her nose crinkles.
“Like anybody as lame as Casper could be related to Leo. And those girls that were mocking you-yeah,
everyone in school has heard that by now- are his triplet sisters.” She scoffs. “Imagine how fat you’d get
from having triplets. “She crosses her arms. “No wonder we never see his mom.”

“Uh, yeah, sure, totally,” I mumble. Always a wimp. Always take the easy exit from an uncomfortable
situation. That’s the way of Sally Hughes.
“I’m going to grab my car and bring it around the front of the school, okay?” Alex appears by my side,
squeezing my hand. He was talking with other guys in the football team, something like that. Last class
finished about ten minutes ago.

“Okay,” I reply, barely comprehending anything, let alone what Olivia’s begun to babble onto me about
now. She’s changed from mocking Casper to something about her Dior bag ripping.

Alex begins to leave through the school’s back entrance but I suddenly snap back to reality. “Wait, Alex!”

Olivia turns cold and irritated from having being interrupted; did I say she was my friend? Mostly, we’re
friends because we’ve always been. I certainly wouldn’t choose to be her friend now.

He turns around, sympathy etching his face. “Yeah, babe?”

“Um,” I squirm, remorse clutching my heart. I don’t want to hurt Alex’s feelings but- “I want to walk
home today.”

His face scrunches in bewilderment. “I’d love to walk home with you babe, but my car will still be here
then. So how about we take a walk later together, okay?

I glance at the floor, feeling worse and worse by the second.

Olivia finally breaks and shuts her locker. “Uh, I’m gonna find Parker. See you later Sal.”

“Later,” I mumble but I can already hear her heels clicking away.

Alex must have taken steps closer because suddenly he’s intertwining his hand in mine. “What’s wrong,
Sally? You can tell me, promise.” He pulls me in for an embrace, my cheek smooshing against his giant
chiseled chest. He traces circles on my lower back.

I breathe in his scent of men’s cologne. How am I supposed to say this? I bite my tongue quickly, pull it
back from between my teeth, and blurt out,” I just want to walk home alone today.”

He stops rubbing my back. “Oh…okay.”

“Sorry,” I add hastily.

“No. It’s okay. We don’t have to be together all the time,” he chuckles, but it’s forced.

“Right.” I lean back and grab his arms, gently pulling them off me. Hurt flashes across his features and
the guilt grabs me even more. I shake my head hard but quick. “I’ll see you later, alright?” I fake a smile.

He smiles ruefully, “Yeah, sure. See you later.” He kisses my cheek. “Are you sure you’ll be warm
enough?” He stops, a tiny smile crossing his features. “No, I should rephrase that; are you sure you
won’t freeze to death?

I smile. “I’ll be fine, baby.”

He nods, smiling adoringly at me. “Can I at least walk you out?”

“No,” I exclaim too forcefully. “Uh, I mean, I’m fine. Just…wanna be alone, okay?”
He nods, hurt still tightening his face. I try to shove back all my guilt. He squeezes my hand one last time
before heading to the back entrance.

I sigh in relief, a tidal wave of emotions crashing over me a split second after. But I force it away and
shake my head vigorously. I wait a minute or two until Alex should be gone and walk out the halls and
back doors.

I begin a brisk walk down the sidewalks, the cold air nipping at my neck. I bury my neck deeper into my
plushy black jacket, my backpack swinging on my elbow.

I just want to lose myself in the frigid wind and my senseless thoughts, but I suddenly look up to see
unknown surroundings. It looks like the beginnings to the poorer side of town. Graffiti on road signs,
closed and boarded up ice-cream shop on the left, cars zooming past at fifty miles per hour.

Then it hits me; I’ve subconsciously made my way to Casper’s house. And even stranger my feet keep
moving, quicker now.

His house, Connected brick houses that stand just barely as high as my bedroom ceiling. Concrete
outside with dark grass. Chain link fences on both sides of the streets, bordering the penurious homes.

I take a few steps closer, gazing warily from side-to-side, it’s not that I feel uncomfortable being here; I
feel guilt eating away at me, for being the rich girl wearing a Celine jacket and caked in Your Best Friend
liquid eyeliner and brow gel.

“Sally?” a voice says, making me jump from my skin. I dart my eyes to the source of the noise and see
Casper standing on the lawn of the house nearest to me; no jacket, just his button-up. Except the
sleeves had been rolled down, but that hardly makes a difference in this weather, I think.

“You-you must be freezing,” I blurt out. I stick my hands into my alpaca fur-line pockets.

“No,” he says flatly, glancing down. For a moment he appears ashamed; ashamed of his surroundings.
But he shoves it away. “Why are you here?” His eyes land on me, challenging. “To mock me? Fine. “He
holds up his arms. “Bring it I’m tired of hearing your snob clique’s whispers, alright?” his turquoise eyes
blaze ultramarine flames.

I stumble back a step or two. “Casper…I’d never…I wouldn’t-“I rub my elbow. Spit it out Sally! “I’m not
like them.”

He snorts. “Yeah, right.”

“I’m not.”

His face remains the same, except his brows lift. “Right. And how so?”

“I’m not mean. You’ve never heard me bully other kids, right?”

His brows crinkle, his eyes vexed. He was frowning harshly, nose scrunched up, a look reserved for the
filthiest of animals. “Then what about Brooke? Freshman year?”

I had never felt smaller.

I clear my throat and fixated on the dirty sidewalk. “Seriously you must be freezing, Casper, it’s like two
degrees out-“

“You are such a prissy coward,” he laughs but it is deeply devoid of any humor. “Leave. You know? Just
get out.” His jaw tightens and he points to the street. “Go! What, do you need a written invitation?”

“Casper, please,” I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I didn’t to begin with. And even worse, tears are
about to crash down. “I’m not, I swear! Brooke was an innocent girl and-and I was an idiot!” I heave in
shallow, ragged breaths, desperate to force the words out. “I’m sorry! But I swear I’m not like that
anymore-“

“Then why don’t you tell her that?” he cries. He doesn’t even look cold and I’m still shivering in my
heavy, high-quality jacket.

“I- “my voice gives out. Because. Because I… my insides fill with lead at the thought of it. It’s not that I’m
not sorry, gosh, I am… “Casper… I will, I swear.”

“Good,” he gazes into my eyes, unwavering fearlessness.

“And also… I broke up with my boyfriend.” Lies. Lies. So, I’m starting my resolution of being a better
person by lying to the one person I want to impress?

“Okay…,” a crease appears between his brows. Gosh, why did I find that so attractive?

“So…,” I take a few steps closer to the metal fence outside his house. “Do you…,” I fixate my eyes on the
ground before bringing them to his. This is it. These words I’ve wanted to say since practically forever.
Took me forever to admit to myself. “Do you want to do something sometime?” my voice cracks and my
arms are shaking. I did it. I said it.

“What?”

I clear my throat, choosing to believe he’s just in denial. I know he’ll listen. “Do you want to go out with
me? We can go anywhere you want, I’m not picky.” I throw a sweet smile, that one that makes other
boys go all gooey or flirty with me.

“No.”

I blink and force one of my Mary Jane smiles. “I’m sorry,” I give a sheepish chuckle, another one of my
usual tricks when it come to this stuff. I twist a lock of dark hair around my finger. “What did you say
sweetie?” I wrap my hands around the top of the fence, leaning closer to him.

He takes a few steps backwards. “I said no. what do I look like, one of your rich victims?”

My jaw falls to the decaying sidewalk. “What? ‘Rich victims’?

“You know, one of your millions of rich ex-boyfriends that are rolling in the dough. I don’t want you.
You’re going to play me for two seconds, and then throw me away like a piece of trash.” He smiles, but it
is not a good smile; a wry, revolted smile. He folds his arms and shakes his head. You’re disgusting,” he
takes bigger backwards steps to his front door. “You all are.”
“No, wait, please!” I beg in anguish. “I swear, I’m not!” I fumble with the fence. “Where’s the gate to
open it? The lock, whatever.”
He snickers. “Really, princess? You don’t know how to open a fence-gate?”

I flinch. “Yes, I do! But I can’t find the-“

It’s too late. All I hear is a door banging shut. And Casper is gone.

I glance to my left. It’s like twenty feet down. There’s no gate even. It’s just an empty grid between the
sides of the fence.

I glance back to his front door. I hear a door swing open somewhere behind me and hear, “Go back
home, princess!” The door slams closed again.

I breathe in slowly, my eyes fluttering shut. And then I leave.

END.

My love is selfish. I cannot breathe without you—

LISTEN TO CRAVE YOU (BY THE FLIGHT FACILITIES FT. GISELLE)