Scoring Model for Response to Literature

Score 4
This writer presents a clear, well-elaborated essay with a consistent organizational strategy
and effective examples.

Strong Points:
1. Sufficient background on the work
2. Logical organization
3. Main ideas connected to overall focus
4. Well-chosen supporting details
5. Precise, evaluative words
6. Strong conclusion
7. Varied sentence structure
8. Very few mechanical errors

A Raisin in the Sun

What happens to a dream deferred? Everybody has dreams, and often they
are deferred for one reason or another. Walter Lee Younger of A Raisin in the
Sun also has dreams–dreams that are devastated by the harsh reality in
which he lives. Walter is a poor, African-American man who lives with his fam-
ily in the slums of Chicago’s South Side. He works as a chauffeur, but aspires
to better things. Walter feels the sting of disrespect that he believes comes
with his social status, and he wants to improve his position. He thinks that
success in business offers him the best and quickest way to achieve this. It is
obvious that throughout his life, Walter’s dreams are in conflict with the real-
ity of his life.
As the “man of the house,” as he calls himself, Walter Lee feels pressured
to “make something of” himself. He views the overcrowded apartment where
he and his family live, the menial occupations they hold, and their constant
shortage of money, as representative of his failure to succeed in the world.
Walter would like to improve the lot of his family and gain the respect of the
people around him by owning his own business and making a great deal of
money.
The other members of the Younger family do not see Walter’s plan to go
into business as a good idea. Mama, for example, opposes Walter’s idea and
refuses to let him use the insurance money from her husband’s death. Walter
views Mama’s refusal as a rejection of all that he stands for; he accuses her of
“killing [his] dream.” Walter feels that Mama does not understand how this de-
sire to be a success has been eating away at him.
Though Mama discourages Walter, he does get his opportunity to start his
business. He takes some of the insurance money that Mama has given to him
for safekeeping and gives it to a friend, Willy Harris, in order to make the
down payment on a business that he thinks will catapult his family out of pov-
erty. The opposite occurs. Willy disappears with the money, and Walter’s fam-
ily is once again penniless. Once he realizes that his dreams of material
success and respectability may never be realized, Walter breaks down and
weeps.
Though Walter sees his position as nearly hopeless at this point, he nearly
makes matters worse. He calls Mr. Lindner, who earlier had tried to buy the
Younger’s house and asks to renegotiate the offer he had so proudly rejected
earlier. By this act, he manages to earn the contempt of his entire family,
which his sister sums up when she states that Walter “is not a man. That is
nothing but a toothless rat.” However, Mama sees that Walter’s obsession
with material success is destroying him, and she wants him to face reality.
She orders Walter to accept the money from Lindner in the presence of Travis,
his son: “You show him where five generations of our family done come to.”
Mama’s plan succeeds. Walter ultimately rejects Lindner’s offer and realizes

 Prentice-Hall, Inc. Scoring Models for Response to Literature • 75

Response to Literature—Score 4 (continued)
that pride in oneself, no matter how humble one’s station in life is, is more im-
portant than any material examples of success.
In A Raisin in the Sun, Walter has learned a valuable lesson about chasing
his dreams. The dreams that are worth reaching for are not the ones that
force him to sacrifice his identity, the love of his family, and his self-respect.
While Walter may not have attained the fancy house and cars that he craved,
he has made one small step toward fulfilling his dream of gaining respect.

76 • Writing Assessment  Prentice-Hall, Inc.

Scoring Model for Response to Literature
Score 3
This writer has created a well-organized and well-focused response to literature, but it is
weakened by stylistic and mechanical errors.

Strong Points:
1. Well-written introduction with an interest-grabbing lead and a thesis statement
2. Points presented in logical order, connected to focus
3. Specific reasons and examples support reactions
4. Some precise, evaluative terms

Problem Points:
1. Some missing background information
2. Abrupt, unfocused conclusion
3. Some run-on sentences and fragments
4. Some mechanical errors

“Dream Deferred”
“What happens to a dream deferred?” This memorable line from Langston
Hughes’ poem is explored in the life of Walter, a character in Lorraine Hans-
berry’s play A Raisin in the Sun. Walter’s dreams of becoming a successful
and respected businessman contrast with the stark reality that he is a
chaufeur struggling to support his family. In his unsuccessful efforts to make
his dream come true, Walter learns that the ultimate dream he wants to
achieve, gaining self respect and dignity. He already has.
Walter’s ultimate goal in life is to be a wealthy business man and he feels
that if he attains this goal, he will also attain the respect that he thinks
comes with it. Unfortunately he is rebuffed in his efforts by his mother who re-
fuses to give him part of the insurance money to open a business and his sis-
ter Beneatha, also ridicules him for his efforts. As he remarks to George
Murchison, Beneatha’s wealthy boyfriend Walter is tired of being a lower-class
nobody. “Bitter? Man, I’m a volcano. Bitter? Here I am, a giant—surrounded
by ants! Ants who can’t even understand what it is the giant is talking about.”
Walter is angry that people like his mother, sister, and George cannot or will
not understand his deperate need to have his dream fulfilled.
Walter finally seizes his opportunity to make his dream come true when he
is entrusted with the care of the money by Mama. Although he has been in-
structed by Mama to place the money in a checking account. Walter gives all
of it to a friend, Willy Harris, so that a deposit can be made on the store that
they plan to open together. When he discovers that Willy has run off with the
money, he acknowledges the destruction of his dreams and screams “THAT
MONEY WAS MADE FROM MY FATHER’S FLESH!” Here, Walter mourns not
only the lost business opportunity, but also the loss of the family’s opportu-
nity for a better life—which he has squandered. The loss of the money has
shattered Walter’s dreams of material success and respect, and has left his
family worse off than before.
Although he goes more deeply into depression over what he has done, Wal-
ter still does not realize that money will not solve his or the family’s problems.
Money is still “life” to him. In an effort to recoup the money that he has lost,
Walter calls Lindner and accepts Lindner’s earlier offer to buy out the
Younger family house. Walter only succeeds in earning the disgust and con-
tempt of his wife and sister. Mama, however, has not given up on Walter and
in an effort to make her realize the grave consequences of his actions she
forces Walter to complete the deal with Lindner in the presence of Walter’s
son, Travis. It is only at this point that Walter realizes what he has come to.
Walter realizes that a chance at a better life is a more attainable and fulfilling

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Response to Literature—Score 3 (continued)
dream than his desires for quick money and its superficial trappings. Walter
rejects Lindner’s offer. With this courageous act, he earns the love and re-
spect of his family.
The metamorphosis of Walter Lee Younger’s dreams from attaining wealth
and what supposedly comes with it to striving to attain dignity mark the
change in Walter’s acceptance about who he is.

78 • Writing Assessment  Prentice-Hall, Inc.

Scoring Model for Response to Literature
Score 2
Although this writer provides a response to literature in an organized format, its weaknesses
in content and style outweigh its strengths.

Strong Points:
1. Some background and organizational structure
2. Some writer’s reactions

Problem Points:
1. Lacks thesis statement and conclusion
2. Lacks focus and elaboration
3. Over-reliance on plot summary
4. Awkward sentence structure
5. Ineffective transitions
6. Numerous spelling, vocabulary, and mechanical errors

Walter Lee Younger

Walter Lee Younger’s character in A Raisin in the Sun is complex. There are
many material things that Walter wants out of life but he feels like everything
keeps him from getting them. Walter and his family have to strugle to make
ends meet. This conflict between Walter’s dreams and his life result in Wal-
ters negative reaction because Walter can’t expect the real life that compares
with what he wants.
Walter believes like money is everything. Walter hides this by pretending
that he wants money for his family. When Mama says no when Walter wants
part of the insurance money to buy a store, he tells his mother to explain to
his son why the family has to strugle to get by. Walter thinks that a store will
give him a respect from his family because, he will be able to by them what
they want.
Walter’s whole family is against his get rich quick plan, Beneatha wants to
to get an education and Ruth wants to buy a house. Walter feels like no one
in the family understands him. But then Walter realizes that he can provide
for his family in another way and make some of his dream come true by ern-
ing there respec. Walter decides to reject Lindner’s offer and he proves to his
family that he has pride in hiself and erns his familys respect.

 Prentice-Hall, Inc. Scoring Models for Response to Literature • 79

Scoring Model for Response to Literature
Score 1
This writer’s attempts to write a response to literature are unsuccessful.

Problem Points:
1. Insufficient background information
2. Lacks writer’s reactions and evaluations
3. Disorganized and unfocused presentation of ideas
4. Over-reliance on plot summary
5. Faulty and run-on sentences and fragments
6. Many mechanical and spelling errors

Walter’s Family
The younger family was not every rich and was barely making enugh
money to keep them a life. They could not aford nothing but they had big
dreams. They got a chek for $1000 dollars which was there insurance money
from there fathers death from the time they was waiting for the money to the
time they spend it they was fighting over it. They all wanted to do something
diferant, Walter wanted to buy a store with the money and Mama didnt want
to. Walter was all ways fighting in the house since he felt as how opening a
store was the right thing to do. Walter knowed that the reality of his life
meant that he cant aford the store so he bothers Mama to give him the money
from there fathers death and Mama decides to give him some money, he loses
it because he was tricked by a guy named Willie. Beneatha’s dream was to be-
come a doctor so she wants the insurance money to go to school, she dont
put as much pressure on Mama as Walter, instead Beneatha fights with Wal-
ter not to get Mamas money. Walters loss of the money almost put an end to
Beneathas dream and she now has to work for the family survive and not put
herself thrugh school. Walter talks of using the money to open a store and
Mama always knowed what she was going to do with the money and she put
a down pament on a house. Mama buys the house to give her family a fresh
start and room to grow, she cared to much about her familys future to let a
store mess it up

80 • Writing Assessment  Prentice-Hall, Inc.