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1914
1915
ca. 1938
1938
ca. 1913
ca. 1934
ca. 1914
1912
ca. 1934
1934-35
 ca. 1913
The Imperial family never hated the Jews. Jews were received in all
military hospitals with the same care as any other men during the
war. Many Jews fought heroically for Russia and died on the
battlefield. But many did everything possible to escape being taken
into the army, by crossing the border to the Austrian and German
side, where they were placed over Russian prisoners of war and
caused them untold suffering. Father did more for the Jews than any
Emperor before him. My parents always advocated the principle of
freedom of religion.
Count Benckendorff and several others connected closely with my
family from the time of Grandfather’s reign were Roman Catholics.
A new commissar arrived from Moscow, and Father was questioned
several times in the next few days. The Commissar hinted at the
possibility of freedom to leave the country, if Father would consider
signing certain documents. Father vehemently rejected having
anything to do with Moscow. He made it clear that he had nothing
more to say.
Father once asked us, after he returned from one of these talks, if
we children would accept freedom in Germany or stay and suffer. We
all agreed to stay in our country. He seemed pleased at this mutual
feeling. Soon afterwards new guards arrived and our situation
became worse, almost unbearable. These heartless men made us
understand that their duty was to cause us every kind of humiliation
and deprivation.
One afternoon Voykov came and demanded to see our jewels. They
searched the house many times. Finally he picked Mother’s
engagement ring—a large ruby of a beautiful color, actually a red
diamond, probably the only one of its kind in the world. When Father
was about eighteen years old, various jewelers in St. Petersburg
began to search for rare stones. Bolin, the well-known jeweler, found
this diamond and Father purchased it from him to be made into an
engagement ring for his future bride. Voykov took this ring as a
souvenir, he said, and wore it on his little finger. Father could do
nothing but forget the loss. Voykov was still wearing the ring when
we saw him again a few days before the tragedy.
On another day, this man again came into our living room without
warning and began a long discourse about Ulianov (Lenin) and
Pilsudski. He claimed that these two would soon be regarded as the
world’s greatest men. Father made no reply but picked up a book
and began to read. When Voykov continued his assertions, Father
agreed with him saying that no doubt what he said was true.
 XXVII
OUR FINAL DECISION
On Saturday, July 13th, 1918 (new style), we made our final
decision, after Father was questioned for the last time. Now
Yurovsky and Voykov pretended to have a special interest in Alexei.
We feared they might take him to Moscow, so that Father would be
forced to yield to their demands. Father said they would have to kill
him first before they could touch any of his children. They knew that
Father meant every word of it. Those heartless men got into Alexei’s
room, sat on his bed and watched him cut out his soldiers. They kept
up a rapid-fire conversation, even though Alexei was annoyed. We
wondered if they were trying to gain my brother’s confidence in order
to poison him. So we warned Alexei not to eat anything they might
give him.
Yurovsky, unlike other Commissars, constantly followed us. We were
conscious of his presence and could not ignore him. He was
surrounded with guards mostly of foreign origin whose breath reeked
with alcohol, though he himself did not appear to take any. He told
Dr. Botkin he had had pneumonia a year before and since then his
doctor forbade the use of alcohol. We felt that the new guards were
dangerous men.
One of them, a German or Austrian, whose name was Mebus or
Nebus, said he was sent by Trotsky to search the house. He must
see everything of value. He rifled through every drawer, suitcase,
bed and mattress and cushion. Among the medicine bottles they
found one bottle with Persian grey powder. They took the bottle,
saying that it was dynamite. Dr. Botkin was present when they sent
this dangerous explosive to be analyzed outside, in spite of his
explanation that it was a powder prescribed for Mother to be used in
a vaporizer for her sinus trouble. Shortly thereafter it was returned,
having been found by the chemists to be a harmless powder.
After his initial haul, Mebus returned, saying he had been searching
in the bathroom, and announced that he had found some bullets
wrapped in a woman’s garment, also some guns hidden under
something, God knows where. We saw that the garment in question
was a blouse belonging to one of us sisters, probably taken from the
trunks in the attic, but we had not seen these trunks nor the garment
since we left Tobolsk. The keys of these trunks and our money had
been entrusted to General Tatishchev, but upon our arrival in
Ekaterinburg we were separated from him. The Commissars
probably confiscated the General’s belongings and thus found the
keys, which they must have recognized as ours by special markings
upon them.
We did not know where the entrance to this attic was. As to the
blouse, it was originally sent to us in Tobolsk by Anna Vyrubova.
Nebus or Mebus came in with the blouse, accompanied by a
Commissar named Horwath, a Hungarian, and by four or five others
who spoke German. When we heard them saying “Kishason” (lady),
we knew they were Hungarians. One of these men wore an open
shirt, and from his neck hung a black cord, a cross and a small
square bag of soiled white cloth with something in it.
Thousands of these prisoners of war had willingly joined the Cheka,
some for political reasons, others for religious reasons—or lack of
them—and still others for loot. Horwath’s companions also included
two Jews named Beloborodov and Goloshchekin (they had adopted
these names). They fixed their eyes on our icons with a remark to
which we did not reply.
That same afternoon Yurovsky, Beloborodov, Goloshchekin and
Horwath walked through our rooms, demanding that we place all our
jewels on the table. At this time we wore only our gold baptismal
crosses and silver rings with an inscription “Save and Protect us”.
We were afraid not to expose everything, especially with eyes
fastened on us girls so suspiciously. They made no effort to examine
our travelling clothes and for that we were thankful. They took
everything they saw. Yurovsky with the help of others made a list of
every item, then gave Father a copy—a scrap of paper—as a
receipt, signed by all four thieves. He asked Father to value each
item. Father said, “They have great sentimental value to us, since
many of them are gifts from my wife’s family and her grandmother—
Queen Victoria—and from myself.” Yurovsky asked: “But how much
would such a piece cost if purchased today?” Father answered, “I
am not a jeweler by trade, I cannot put a value on them.” Their
grasping hands trembled when they took our treasures and placed
them between layers in a cushioned bag. Later by searching the
dining room and among the household things they found some gold-
coated candles. They became suspicious and melted some but, to
their disappointment, found nothing in them. The clinking of glasses
in the office that evening kept us awake until long past midnight. No
doubt the jewels were disposed of before our eyes were closed.
These stolen and now blood-stained treasures were sold in foreign
lands and are no doubt now adorning various ladies in many
countries.
Early in the evening of this Saturday, Yurovsky stood excitedly at the
door of our parents’ bedroom and said, “Nicholai Alexandrovich, your
request is granted. The priest will be here tomorrow to conduct
Sunday services.” The same evening we gathered some icons and,
with the help of Father’s valet, a table was prepared in the middle of
the rear wall and covered with a long white towel. We got everything
ready for the next morning and prayed that there would be no
unpleasantness between these godless men and the priest.
Sunday morning, July 14th, arrived and as we assembled in our
room, Yurovsky came in and asked if we were ready. “Right, we are,”
said Father. One of us sisters wheeled Alexei’s chair into the room.
He gazed happily around with a greeting to the little group of a few
friends who waited for us to enter the big room. However, a mistake
had been made in this service. In his note to Yurovsky, Father had
requested a service called “Obiednya” at which Communion is
administered. We were all surprised to find that “Obiednitsa” was
being conducted at which no Communion is administered. It is a
service that is held for the dead.
Father asked Dr. Botkin to check with Yurovsky, because he had
requested a Communion. Yurovsky motioned to the priest, saying, “A
Communion is requested.” Evidently Yurovsky knew that the service
for the dead was meant for our own funeral service. No doubt Father
must have known that the tragedy was near because he requested
the Communion. While the priest made his preparations and covered
the wine chalice with a fine embroidered cloth, Yurovsky made an
attempt to take the chalice from him to see what was in it. Father
Storozhev jerked the chalice away and in a trembling voice shouted,
“I will not let you touch this Holy Sacrament with your hands.” The
priest stood some distance from us, since we were not permitted to
have confession in the usual way. He raised the cross and said,
“God shall forgive your sins.” We went to our knees in tears as
Yurovsky stood aside watching us. We sisters were weeping
throughout the entire service, and, as our hearts were only human,
we could not chant during this service. We arose; the priest held the
cloth over the chalice and administered the Holy Communion to us,
while the deacon sang the creed.
Father Storozhev had brought the usual prosphora—the small biscuit
which is given to each communicant—but Yurovsky insisted on
breaking each of these into pieces to make sure there was nothing
hidden in them. Dr. Botkin and others who until now had maintained
their composure broke down. A napkin was brought and the
prosphora was broken into pieces by the priest, and the service was
concluded. In this dimly-lighted room a rite so divine and profound in
our moment of solitude gave us a secret hope in our hearts. After the
service Father kissed on both cheeks, according to Russian custom,
the few remaining friends—Dr. Botkin, Trup, Kharitonov and the little
Leonid. Mother and we sisters kissed Anna Demidova, our faithful
maid.
Mother gave her hand to Dr. Botkin; he bowed and kissed her
fingertips. All noticed that on his face was a strange expression. He
was nervous after hearing the prophetic words being sung “Peace to
the Soul.” He kissed us children on both cheeks, while tears fell from
his eyes and remained between his glasses and the bags beneath
his eyes.
Dear Papula, how he suffered beyond measure for his loyalty to us.
His face always brightened whenever he saw me. I always engaged
him in a conversation. Somehow he felt closer to Alexei and to me
than to our sisters. At the end this good man became bold, in spite of
his frailty. He was somewhat older than my Father. At that time
Father was fifty years old and Mother forty-six. There was a unity
and peace among us. Father said, without bitterness, “A great crime
is being committed, but I feel we have been true to ourselves and to
Russia. The Russian people have been betrayed.” Olga, who could
say things so beautifully, added from her tender heart, “The Russian
people have been hypnotized and one must not judge them by the
present. They are good people.” Dr. Botkin added, “Be true, do not
fear, in a minute all will pass.” We were startled at his words, and we
wondered afterwards whether he realized the full meaning of what
he was saying. He must have known of our destiny.
In spite of the hostile actions of Yurovsky and his accomplices
throughout Father Storozhev’s service, we felt we had been enfolded
by God and filled with power to ignore the brutality of the guards.
When they came into the sitting room while Father was reading
aloud, one of us stood up, so that they might see as little as possible.
On Monday, July 15th two maids came to clean the rooms as usual.
Obviously they were frightened and seemed anxious to deliver some
message to us, but the guards’ presence everywhere prevented any
communication. On the same day, Yurovsky brought his associates
to the house. These included Voykov, Goloshchekin and Jacob
Sverdlov who were comrades of Lenin, Trotsky, and other
international conspirators. We saw these four and others in the
house all day long; they followed us even into the garden, when we
went out for a fifteen minute walk in the afternoon. Once Sverdlov
said to Father that when the festivities of the Three Hundred Year
rule of the Romanov Dynasty were celebrated in 1913, he was ready
to blow up the whole Imperial family with a bomb. Father replied,
“What kept you from doing it? I probably would not be here today nor
would my family be.”
On Tuesday July the 16th, the young kitchen boy, Leonid, who used
to come to play with Alexei for an hour every day, had no sooner
arrived than a guard announced that Leonid’s uncle, Ivan Sidniev
(our former footman) had come to see the boy. The little fellow
jumped to his feet and happily said, “Oh, please forgive me, I shall
be back.” We knew right then, it was some sort of trick. When he did
not return and Father inquired why, he was told, “Tomorrow he will
come.”
On the 16th also, Alexei got up, though his cold was worse, due to
the hot water treatments for his swollen hands and feet which were
still partially paralyzed. In the afternoon, we took him into the small
garden where he was able to walk a little, but had to be carried down
the steps. We all went out except Marie, who remained with Mother
who had not been out for several days.
While we were in the garden a pigeon flew toward the porch,
frantically flapping its wings. Then it flew to the other side of the
house, where we were not allowed to walk. Upon our return Mother
to our surprise told us that a bird flapped its wings on her bedroom
window and she could see only a fluttering shadow of a bird’s wings
in the window glass which was painted white. Then she said, “At the
coronation we were presented with two birds; and, as you remember,
during the Three Hundredth Anniversary a pigeon flew inside the
Cathedral when the service was held; and today a bird came into the
picture again.”
Some time before the tragedy Dr. Botkin was sent by Yurovsky to
ask Mother if she wished her sister Ella to come to see her and that,
if so, Yurovsky would arrange her transportation. Mother at once
wrote to her sister to say that we were looking forward to her arrival.
Very late that afternoon, Father and the rest of us were asked by
Goloshchekin and Yurovsky to write letters to our friends and
relatives here and abroad to the effect that we were in the far North,
in Sweden, and that we were quite happy in our new surroundings.
Olga angrily replied, “If we get there, we will write to our friends from
there and not from here.” Dr. Botkin had written such a letter or
letters under pressure since he feared for the lives of his children. He
said he had written one to Madame Elizabeth Narishkina and one or
more to his children hoping they were still in Tobolsk.
Evidently those men wanted the world to believe that we escaped at
night and were hiding somewhere in the wilderness and that our
friends after receiving such letters would be satisfied that we were
safe. In this way they wanted to hide their crime from the people.
While Father was reading, suddenly he turned to us and said, “It is
exactly twenty-seven years this month (July 1918) since I returned
from Japan and that is the icon which was presented to me in the
Government of Ufa upon my arrival there.” It was from the
Government of Ufa that Father’s train was returned a few weeks
earlier to Ekaterinburg. Someone commented that it seemed weird
that Father suddenly at this time should remember that unpleasant
event which took place in Japan, where he almost lost his life.
In the evening Yurovsky walked into our sitting room startling us.
Jemmy, my little dog, charged at him, snarling. She had never acted
like that before. I called her back, but it was too late. Yurovsky
grabbed her by the neck and carried her away, saying, “Who brought
this dog up here?”
Yurovsky reappeared as if nothing had happened and began talking,
though no one heard what he said. Our only thought was, “What
became of Jemmy?” No apologetic attitude crept into his affability.
He continued to talk and to toy with my frightened stupefaction. Then
he walked to Alexei and sat on his bed as if they were on the most
intimate terms. He pulled out a revolver and handed it to brother
saying, “Do you want to see an American automatic?” “No,” replied
Alexei. No doubt all the warning given against the man leaped into
the boy’s mind. He did not want to take it but Yurovsky thrust the
weapon into his hand. “Is it loaded?” asked Alexei. Father stood up
next to Alexei and said, “Please leave my son alone, he is not well.”
Ignoring Father’s request Yurovsky answered, “It is not loaded now,
but it will be.” Alexei became frightened as he held the pistol and
Yurovsky regarded him with amusement.
At last Yurovsky went out. Mother with trembling hands picked up a
book as we gathered around while Father read aloud. He let the
book open itself and read: “Let us take courage and be strong, look
straight with our spiritual eyes up to Christ.” Then again he read: “Do
not fear those who kill the body, but those who wish to kill the soul.”
It may not be exact but as I remember it went like that. His voice was
hardly stronger than a whisper. We could hardly hear him over the
drunken shouts that shrieked through the house from the guards’
quarters. Mother bent her head close to the window and listened in