31 Day Shadow Work Journal

31 Day Shadow
Work Journal
Unlock the secrets of your inner

world & become your true self
By Oliver Cowlishaw
Introduction
Let me ask you a few questions...
Have you ever tried to quit a bad habit like watching porn, smoking or
listening to K-pop - only to fail and be back at square one?
Do you have recurring negative emotions like anxiety or depression
that come and go seemingly for no reason?
Is there a consistent pattern in your relationships that sabotages
them and you have no idea why?
Are you currently procrastinating on doing something you KNOW is a
good idea but you just can’t get yourself to do it?
It’s strange, isn’t it? I mean, surely since you’re ONE person with ONE goal,
achieving it should be as simple as just doing the thing until you have a
six-pack and 12 Bugatti’s. But it isn’t.
You don’t do what you say you’ll do.

You sabotage yourself even when you know it’s a bad idea.
You can’t get yourself to take action even if it will make your life better.
And that’s because of a simple reason.

You aren’t ONE thing, at all. And you
don’t have just ONE goal. Your mind is
more of a loose collection of sub-
personalities. All with different goals
and temperaments.
When you decide to do something,

sometimes all the parts of you agree
and it goes smoothly. But sometimes
you’ll have a few parts of you sitting
there who not only disagree but will do
everything in their power to sabotage
the whole operation.
And what makes matters worse is that we aren’t even aware that this is
going on. Right now, there may be parts of you that are hurt, afraid, angry,
jealous, sad or worse.
Parts that have no interest in quitting porn.

Parts that don’t want the responsibility of success.
Parts that are terrified of intimacy and will avoid it at all costs.
And they’re completely alone in there (or so they think).
Here’s the problem: trying to force ourselves to change without

connecting to these parts will only lead to surface-level change at most,
but in most cases, it leads to no change at all.
If you truly want change (& maybe you don’t) you need to connect with,
heal and integrate all the parts of you that don’t want to change. Will this
make life easy? Absolutely not. But wounded parts make it much harder
than it needs to be.
So the next question - how do we integrate these parts of ourselves so we

can move forward? The best approach I’ve found, by far, is a self-
development practice called Shadow Work.
Shadow work, a term coined by the renowned Swiss psychiatrist Carl

Jung, is about acknowledging and integrating these hidden parts of
ourselves.
It's a journey that requires courage, honesty, and vulnerability, as it

involves confronting aspects of our personality that we might find
uncomfortable or difficult to accept. It is, in a very real sense, a hero’s
journey. A rite of passage. An initiation process.
Through shadow work, we can uncover the roots of our fears, anxieties,
and insecurities. It allows us to understand the source of our behaviors,
reactions, and patterns that may be holding us back in life. By bringing
these unconscious aspects into the light of awareness, we can begin to
heal old wounds, change negative patterns, and embrace our full
potential.
But this journey is not just about facing our inner darkness. There are also
dormant parts of you that are immensely positive. Shadow Work is about
discovering and integrating these parts, too. The shadow, while often
seen as a source of negativity, also holds powerful qualities that we've
yet to embrace. By integrating our shadow, we can unlock new levels of
creativity, vitality, and authenticity.
A 31 day plan to uncover your shadow
My intention with this workbook is to give you a kick start to uncovering,

healing and integrating your shadow in a healthy way. You’ll answer a
writing prompt every day for 31 days. Each day digging progressively
deeper into your psyche.
Integrating your shadow is the work

of a lifetime. This workbook is just
the beginning.
But I promise you that if you

complete it, you will not be the same
person at the end as you were in the
beginning.
From here on out, the journey is

yours. I wish you safe travels.
Oliver Cowlishaw
Day 1
What are three strengths you believe you have?
How did writing about this make you feel? What new
understanding did you gain?
"Where there is ruin, there is hope for a treasure." - Rumi

Day 2
Describe a time you felt proud of yourself.
"The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are." - Carl Jung
Day 3
What quality do you admire in others that you wish you had?
"In each of us, there is another whom we do not know." - Carl Jung
Day 4
Write about a time you felt misunderstood.
"He who looks outside dreams; he who looks inside awakes." - Carl Jung
Day 5
What are your top three fears?
"Fears are like shadows, unable to withstand the light of clarity." - Alan Rufus
Day 6
Reflect on an incident where you wish you had reacted differently.
What would you change?
"The shadow escapes from the body like an animal we had been sheltering."
- Gilles Deleuze
Day 7
Describe a minor issue that irritates you more than it should.
Why do you think that is?
""Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." -

Carl Jung
Day 8
Reflect on a time you felt jealousy. What was it about?
""Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding." - Kahlil Gibran
Day 9
Think of a time when you remained silent but wish you had
spoken up. What held you back?
"He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior." - Confucius

Day 10
What aspect of yourself or your life are you most insecure about?
"The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely." - Carl Jung

Day 11
Share a memory that still makes you feel embarrassed or ashamed.
“Embarrassment lasts a moment. Regret lasts a lifetime.” — Avinash Wandre

Day 12
Describe a time you felt abandoned or alone.
When the world crashes around you, turn within. When you feel abandoned and rejected,
turn within. When all hope for the future vanishes, turn within. I wait for you there.
– Sitting with God, Allen C. Liles
Day 13
What do you find hardest to forgive in others?
Forgiveness is the sweetest revenge. - Isaac Friedmann.

Day 14
When do you feel most vulnerable?
Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. - Brené Brown
Day 15
What negative pattern do you find repeating in your life?
"Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain
multitudes." - Walt Whitman
Day 16
Reflect on a relationship you've outgrown.
One of life's challenging realizations is that sometimes you outgrow your friends.”
― Steve Maraboli
Day 17
What aspect of your personality do you often hide from others?
"I must also have a dark side if I am to be whole." - Carl Jung

Day 18
Discuss a time you betrayed yourself to please others.
"People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing their own souls."
- Carl Jung
Day 19
What are your thoughts on your own mortality?
"It is the most natural thing in the world to die, and the fact that we refuse to
acknowledge this is just one more piece of evidence for our real and basic neurosis."
- Carl Jung
Day 20
Write about a time you hurt someone else.
"The shadow is the greatest teacher for how to come to the light." - Ram Dass
Day 21
What is something you've never told anyone?
“Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that
he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself
and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.”
― Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov
Day 22
How do you handle feelings of anger and frustration?
"The most intense conflicts, if overcome, leave behind a sense of security and calm that
is not easily disturbed." - Carl Jung
Day 23
What part of your past do you try to avoid thinking about?
"I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become." - Carl Jung
Day 24
In what ways do you see your father's influence in your own
behaviors or attitudes, especially those you wish to change?
“When one has not had a good father, one must create one” - Friedrich Nietzsche
Day 25
Reflect on a moment you felt truly at peace. What was it like?
“The past has no power over the present moment.”

― Eckhart Tolle
Day 26
What qualities did you wish your mother had when you were
growing up?
"The mother wounds are passed down through generations, but so is healing. Breaking
the cycle is a gift to our children." - Unknown
Day 27
What qualities did you wish your father had when you were
growing up?
“No one is going to come help you. No one's coming to save you.”
― David Goggins, Can't Hurt Me
Day 28
Write a letter to your younger self. What words of comfort,
wisdom or advice would you offer?
"In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play." - Friedrich Nietzsche
Day 29
What did you need most as a child that you didn't receive? How
can you provide that for yourself today?
"A great man is always willing to be little." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Day 30
What does your ideal life look like, and what is one thing you can do
today to move one step closer to that vision?
Don’t underestimate the power of vision and direction. These are irresistible forces, able to
transform what might appear to be unconquerable obstacles into traversable pathways
- Jordan Peterson
Day 31
Imagine writing a letter to your future self. What would you say?
"Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does." - William James

Congratulations!
You did it. You went into the cave of your own mind and emerged
victorious. My hope is that from this workbook you gained many useful
insights that will serve you in your growth journey going forward.
Read on...
What’s next?
If you’ve gained something from this process, I invite you to consider
going further in your journey. Don’t stop here. There’s still much to
uncover.
There are a couple of things I offer in the way of helping you do that:
1) My online men’s groups. A few times a year, I lead men through a

process of shadow integration in a group-based online course
format. We meet every week for a period of 8 weeks with homework
to complete outside of session time. Invitations are sent only
through my mailing list so make sure you’re on that.
2) My 1:1 mentorship programme. This is the most transformative

offer I have available. Working with me 1:1 for a period of 12 weeks
will help you overcome negative emotions, release the parts that
keep you stuck and allow you to start moving forward with your life.
The programme itself is a step-by-step bespoke course that I take
you through to help you reach your potential in only 90 days. Check
out the details here.
If none of these options appeal to you right now, feel free to check
out the resource list on the next page where I give you options for
further exploration and reading.
Congratulations once again. I honour and celebrate you.

Resources
Healing Your Lost Inner Child: How to Stop Impulsive Reactions, Set
Healthy Boundaries and Embrace an Authentic Life - Robert Jackman
Greater Than the Sum of Our Parts: Discovering Your True Self
Through Internal Family Systems Therapy - Richard C. Schwartz
Knowing Your Shadow: Becoming Intimate with All That You Are -
Robert Augustus Masters
Real Play: No Bad Parts & How To Do IFS with Dr. Richard C.
Schwartz (Podcast Episode)

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31 Day Shadow

Unlock the secrets of your inner

You don’t do what you say you’ll do.

And that’s because of a simple reason.

When you decide to do something,

Parts that have no interest in quitting porn.

And they’re completely alone in there (or so they think).

Here’s the problem: trying to force ourselves to change without

So the next question - how do we integrate these parts of ourselves so we

Shadow work, a term coined by the renowned Swiss psychiatrist Carl

It's a journey that requires courage, honesty, and vulnerability, as it

A 31 day plan to uncover your shadow

My intention with this workbook is to give you a kick start to uncovering,

Integrating your shadow is the work

But I promise you that if you

From here on out, the journey is

"Where there is ruin, there is hope for a treasure." - Rumi

""Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." -

"He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior." - Confucius

"The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely." - Carl Jung

“Embarrassment lasts a moment. Regret lasts a lifetime.” — Avinash Wandre

Forgiveness is the sweetest revenge. - Isaac Friedmann.

"I must also have a dark side if I am to be whole." - Carl Jung

“The past has no power over the present moment.”

"A great man is always willing to be little." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does." - William James

1) My online men’s groups. A few times a year, I lead men through a

2) My 1:1 mentorship programme. This is the most transformative

Congratulations once again. I honour and celebrate you.

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