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December 3, 2021 / Pediatrics

Letting your child dive into

the social media world can
be scary

Spending time on social media

has become almost a way of life
for most adults — scrolling
through videos of cuddly cats and
wacky dances for hours a day.

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But is it healthy for your children

to have the same habits? And how
do you know if they’re being safe
on social media?

Child psychologist Kate Eshleman,

PsyD, discusses the potential
dangers of kids using social media
and — if you’re allowing them to
use it — how to talk to them about
how to stay safe, not overdo it and
not take a lot of what they see on
there too seriously.

How social
media affects
children
Most social media apps require
users to be at least 13 years old.
But in a recent poll, parents
shared that 50% of children 10 to
12 years old and 33% of children
7 to 9 years old use social media
apps.

If your child is currently on social

media or if they’ve been asking to
join, it’s important to talk to them
about what social media is, what
rules you have for it and how it
doesn’t always show an accurate
picture of someone’s life.

“Social media makes it easy to

compare oneself to another,” says
Dr. Eshleman. “Most people put
on social media what they want
you to see. And by using social
media, all of us have the ability to
access endless information
anytime we want to and that can
be very hard for kids.”

Impact on children
While experts are just beginning
to understand social media’s
impact on children, one study
shows that children younger than
11 years old who use Instagram
and Snapchat are more likely to
have problematic digital behaviors
like having online-only friends and
visiting sites parents would
disapprove of, as well as a greater
chance of taking part in online
harassment.

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That same study says limiting how

much time a child spends on
social media may reduce some of
the negative effects of using
social media at such an early age.

Another study talks about how

children who use TikTok are
developing tics and having tic-like
attacks. They’re experiencing a
movement disorder brought on by
stress and anxiety — presumably
made worse by the pandemic and
teens’ increased social media
consumption.

In addition to problematic digital

behaviors, there may be changes
in children’s daily behavior at
home like:

Increased irritability.

Increased anxiety.

Lack of self-esteem.

“If kids are being asked to get off

social media and do their
homework, then parents might
see increased periods of irritability
or frustration directed towards
parents,” says Dr. Eshleman.
“They’re being asked to do
something they don’t want to do
and stop doing something they
enjoy.”

Dangers of
social media
As a parent, it can be hard
knowing what your child is doing
online. There are dangers to be
aware of, though, including:

Cyberbullying.

Online predators.

Sharing too much information.

False marketing.

Dangerous viral trends.

“Kids don’t have the cognitive and

executive functioning to think
through harmful situations and
why those might be a bad idea,”
says Dr. Eshleman. “So
sometimes they’re placing
themselves in physical risk.”

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What’s the
solution?
Social media can have a positive
effect on your child like helping
them learn how to communicate
with others, navigate relationships
and how to manage somebody
who isn’t being kind to them. So,
no social media at all might not be
the best (or realistic) solution for
your kids.

But if you decide to let your

children use social media, make
sure to talk to them about
expectations — both yours and
theirs. Here are a few tips on how
to navigate the social media world
together:

Determine if your child is

ready. Even if your child is old
enough to join a social media
platform, they might not be
ready for it. As the parent, you
have a good sense of their
maturity level and how they
interact with others like
coaches and friends. If you’re
unsure, Dr. Eshleman suggests
doing a test period on social
media. “Parents should identify
their expectations and
communicate those to their
children,” she says. “Also,
identify consequences of not
following them.”

Talk to your kids. From the

beginning, it’s important to
have an open and honest
conversation with your children
on what social media is and
what it can be used for. Ask
why they’re interested in having
an account on a particular
platform and what they want to
use it for. But as they start
venturing into the world of
social media, keep talking. “If
you hear about a popular
TikTok trend or that a
newsworthy story is trending,
talk to your children about what
they think and what they’ve
seen,” says Dr. Eshleman.

Limit screen time. The

American Academy of
Pediatrics recommends limiting
screen time to two hours a day
for children. Eshleman says
that’s a good guideline but
wants parents to also focus on
the big picture — making sure
your kid is still getting enough
physical activity and face-to-
face interactions. “It’s not
always just the screen time
that’s the problem,” she says.
“It’s what the screen time is in
place of.” You can always use a
screen time app that
automatically sets limits, too, to
prevent arguing!

Monitor their usage. Dr.

Eshleman suggests checking
on what your child is
consuming, whether that’s
scrolling through their tablet or
phone or using a social media
monitoring tool. “See what
apps are there and familiarize
yourself with those,” she says.
“Ask yourself if this tool is going
to fit your goal.”

Model good behavior. Easier

said than done, right? But Dr.
Eshleman says practicing safe
and healthy social media
behaviors in front of your child
can go a long way. “It’s much
harder for kids to understand
the potential dangers or risks of
social media when parents
engage in the same behaviors
themselves,” she says.

The biggest takeaway? Go easy

on yourself as a parent when it
comes to social media and your
kids. Don’t be afraid to talk to
other parents about what they do
or ask for help if you are
struggling with how to navigate
social media and keep your kids
safe.

“For many parents, this is

uncharted territory,” Dr. Eshleman
says. “It takes time and energy,
and it can be difficult for parents
who are working, raising children
and managing household tasks.
It’s OK to ask for help.”

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